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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Ayrshire Legatees, by John Galt
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Ayrshire Legatees
+
+
+Author: John Galt
+
+
+
+Release Date: August 4, 2008 [eBook #1384]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE AYRSHIRE LEGATEES***
+
+
+Transcribed from the 1895 Macmillan and Co. edition by David Price, email
+ccx074@pglaf.org
+
+
+
+
+
+The Ayrshire Legatees
+
+
+CHAPTER I--THE DEPARTURE
+
+
+On New Year's day Dr. Pringle received a letter from India, informing him
+that his cousin, Colonel Armour, had died at Hydrabad, and left him his
+residuary legatee. The same post brought other letters on the same
+subject from the agent of the deceased in London, by which it was evident
+to the whole family that no time should be lost in looking after their
+interests in the hands of such brief and abrupt correspondents. "To say
+the least of it," as the Doctor himself sedately remarked, "considering
+the greatness of the forth-coming property, Messieurs Richard Argent and
+Company, of New Broad Street, might have given a notion as to the
+particulars of the residue." It was therefore determined that, as soon
+as the requisite arrangements could be made, the Doctor and Mrs. Pringle
+should set out for the metropolis, to obtain a speedy settlement with the
+agents, and, as Rachel had now, to use an expression of her mother's, "a
+prospect before her," that she also should accompany them: Andrew, who
+had just been called to the Bar, and who had come to the manse to spend a
+few days after attaining that distinction, modestly suggested, that,
+considering the various professional points which might be involved in
+the objects of his father's journey, and considering also the retired
+life which his father had led in the rural village of Garnock, it might
+be of importance to have the advantage of legal advice.
+
+Mrs. Pringle interrupted this harangue, by saying, "We see what you would
+be at, Andrew; ye're just wanting to come with us, and on this occasion
+I'm no for making step-bairns, so we'll a' gang thegither."
+
+The Doctor had been for many years the incumbent of Garnock, which is
+pleasantly situated between Irvine and Kilwinning, and, on account of the
+benevolence of his disposition, was much beloved by his parishioners.
+Some of the pawkie among them used indeed to say, in answer to the godly
+of Kilmarnock, and other admirers of the late great John Russel, of that
+formerly orthodox town, by whom Dr. Pringle's powers as a preacher were
+held in no particular estimation,--"He kens our pu'pit's frail, and
+spar'st to save outlay to the heritors." As for Mrs. Pringle, there is
+not such another minister's wife, both for economy and management, within
+the jurisdiction of the Synod of Glasgow and Ayr, and to this fact the
+following letter to Miss Mally Glencairn, a maiden lady residing in the
+Kirkgate of Irvine, a street that has been likened unto the Kingdom of
+Heaven, where there is neither marriage nor giving in marriage, will
+abundantly testify.
+
+
+
+LETTER I
+
+
+ _Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn_
+ GARNOCK MANSE.
+
+DEAR MISS MALLY--The Doctor has had extraordinar news from India and
+London, where we are all going, as soon as me and Rachel can get
+ourselves in order, so I beg you will go to Bailie Delap's shop, and get
+swatches of his best black bombaseen, and crape, and muslin, and bring
+them over to the manse the morn's morning. If you cannot come yourself,
+and the day should be wat, send Nanny Eydent, the mantua-maker, with
+them; you'll be sure to send Nanny, onyhow, and I requeesht that, on this
+okasion, ye'll get the very best the Bailie has, and I'll tell you all
+about it when you come. You will get, likewise, swatches of mourning
+print, with the lowest prices. I'll no be so particular about them, as
+they are for the servan lasses, and there's no need, for all the
+greatness of God's gifts, that we should be wasterful. Let Mrs. Glibbans
+know, that the Doctor's second cousin, the colonel, that was in the East
+Indies, is no more;--I am sure she will sympatheese with our loss on this
+melancholy okasion. Tell her, as I'll no be out till our mournings are
+made, I would take it kind if she would come over and eate a bit of
+dinner on Sunday. The Doctor will no preach himself, but there's to be
+an excellent young man, an acquaintance of Andrew's, that has the repute
+of being both sound and hellaquaint. But no more at present, and looking
+for you and Nanny Eydent, with the swatches,--I am, dear Miss Mally, your
+sinsare friend,
+
+ JANET PRINGLE.
+
+The Doctor being of opinion that, until they had something in hand from
+the legacy, they should walk in the paths of moderation, it was resolved
+to proceed by the coach from Irvine to Greenock, there embark in a
+steam-boat for Glasgow, and, crossing the country to Edinburgh, take
+their passage at Leith in one of the smacks for London. But we must let
+the parties speak for themselves.
+
+
+
+LETTER II
+
+
+ _Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella Tod_
+ GREENOCK.
+
+MY DEAR ISABELLA--I know not why the dejection with which I parted from
+you still hangs upon my heart, and grows heavier as I am drawn farther
+and farther away. The uncertainty of the future--the dangers of the
+sea--all combine to sadden my too sensitive spirit. Still, however, I
+will exert myself, and try to give you some account of our momentous
+journey.
+
+The morning on which we bade farewell for a time--alas! it was to me as
+if for ever, to my native shades of Garnock--the weather was cold, bleak,
+and boisterous, and the waves came rolling in majestic fury towards the
+shore, when we arrived at the Tontine Inn of Ardrossan. What a monument
+has the late Earl of Eglinton left there of his public spirit! It should
+embalm his memory in the hearts of future ages, as I doubt not but in
+time Ardrossan will become a grand emporium; but the people of Saltcoats,
+a sordid race, complain that it will be their ruin; and the Paisley
+subscribers to his lordship's canal grow pale when they think of profit.
+
+The road, after leaving Ardrossan, lies along the shore. The blast came
+dark from the waters, and the clouds lay piled in every form of grandeur
+on the lofty peaks of Arran. The view on the right hand is limited to
+the foot of a range of abrupt mean hills, and on the left it meets the
+sea--as we were obliged to keep the glasses up, our drive for several
+miles was objectless and dreary. When we had ascended a hill, leaving
+Kilbride on the left, we passed under the walls of an ancient tower.
+What delightful ideas are associated with the sight of such venerable
+remains of antiquity!
+
+Leaving that lofty relic of our warlike ancestors, we descended again
+towards the shore. On the one side lay the Cumbra Islands, and Bute,
+dear to departed royalty. Afar beyond them, in the hoary magnificence of
+nature, rise the mountains of Argyllshire; the cairns, as my brother
+says, of a former world. On the other side of the road, we saw the
+cloistered ruins of the religious house of Southenan, a nunnery in those
+days of romantic adventure, when to live was to enjoy a poetical element.
+In such a sweet sequestered retreat, how much more pleasing to the soul
+it would have been, for you and I, like two captive birds in one cage, to
+have sung away our hours in innocence, than for me to be thus torn from
+you by fate, and all on account of that mercenary legacy, perchance the
+spoils of some unfortunate Hindoo Rajah!
+
+At Largs we halted to change horses, and saw the barrows of those who
+fell in the great battle. We then continued our journey along the foot
+of stupendous precipices; and high, sublime, and darkened with the shadow
+of antiquity, we saw, upon its lofty station, the ancient Castle of
+Skelmorlie, where the Montgomeries of other days held their gorgeous
+banquets, and that brave knight who fell at Chevy-Chace came pricking
+forth on his milk-white steed, as Sir Walter Scott would have described
+him. But the age of chivalry is past, and the glory of Europe departed
+for ever!
+
+When we crossed the stream that divides the counties of Ayr and Renfrew,
+we beheld, in all the apart and consequentiality of pride, the house of
+Kelly overlooking the social villas of Wemyss Bay. My brother compared
+it to a sugar hogshead, and them to cotton-bags; for the lofty thane of
+Kelly is but a West India planter, and the inhabitants of the villas on
+the shore are Glasgow manufacturers.
+
+To this succeeded a dull drive of about two miles, and then at once we
+entered the pretty village of Inverkip. A slight snow-shower had given
+to the landscape a sort of copperplate effect, but still the forms of
+things, though but sketched, as it were, with China ink, were calculated
+to produce interesting impressions. After ascending, by a gentle
+acclivity, into a picturesque and romantic pass, we entered a spacious
+valley, and, in the course of little more than half an hour, reached this
+town; the largest, the most populous, and the most superb that I have yet
+seen. But what are all its warehouses, ships, and smell of tar, and
+other odoriferous circumstances of fishery and the sea, compared with the
+green swelling hills, the fragrant bean-fields, and the peaceful groves
+of my native Garnock!
+
+The people of this town are a very busy and clever race, but much given
+to litigation. My brother says, that they are the greatest benefactors
+to the Outer House, and that their lawsuits are the most amusing and
+profitable before the courts, being less for the purpose of determining
+what is right than what is lawful. The chambermaid of the inn where we
+lodge pointed out to me, on the opposite side of the street, a
+magnificent edifice erected for balls; but the subscribers have resolved
+not to allow any dancing till it is determined by the Court of Session to
+whom the seats and chairs belong, as they were brought from another house
+where the assemblies were formerly held. I have heard a lawsuit compared
+to a country-dance, in which, after a great bustle and regular confusion,
+the parties stand still, all tired, just on the spot where they began;
+but this is the first time that the judges of the land have been called
+on to decide when a dance may begin.
+
+We arrived too late for the steam-boat, and are obliged to wait till
+Monday morning; but to-morrow we shall go to church, where I expect to
+see what sort of creatures the beaux are. The Greenock ladies have a
+great name for beauty, but those that I have seen are perfect frights.
+Such of the gentlemen as I have observed passing the windows of the inn
+may do, but I declare the ladies have nothing of which any woman ought to
+be proud. Had we known that we ran a risk of not getting a steam-boat,
+my mother would have provided an introductory letter or two from some of
+her Irvine friends; but here we are almost entire strangers: my father,
+however, is acquainted with one of the magistrates, and has gone to see
+him. I hope he will be civil enough to ask us to his house, for an inn
+is a shocking place to live in, and my mother is terrified at the
+expense. My brother, however, has great confidence in our prospects, and
+orders and directs with a high hand. But my paper is full, and I am
+compelled to conclude with scarcely room to say how affectionately I am
+yours,
+
+ RACHEL PRINGLE.
+
+
+
+LETTER III
+
+
+ _The Rev. Dr. Pringle to Mr. Micklewham_, _Schoolmaster and
+ Session-Clerk_, _Garnock_
+ EDINBURGH.
+
+DEAR SIR--We have got this length through many difficulties, both in the
+travel by land to, and by sea and land from Greenock, where we were
+obligated, by reason of no conveyance, to stop the Sabbath, but not
+without edification; for we went to hear Dr. Drystour in the forenoon,
+who had a most weighty sermon on the tenth chapter of Nehemiah. He is
+surely a great orthodox divine, but rather costive in his delivery. In
+the afternoon we heard a correct moral lecture on good works, in another
+church, from Dr. Eastlight--a plain man, with a genteel congregation.
+The same night we took supper with a wealthy family, where we had much
+pleasant communion together, although the bringing in of the toddy-bowl
+after supper is a fashion that has a tendency to lengthen the sederunt to
+unseasonable hours.
+
+On the following morning, by the break of day, we took shipping in the
+steam-boat for Glasgow. I had misgivings about the engine, which is
+really a thing of great docility; but saving my concern for the boiler,
+we all found the place surprising comfortable. The day was bleak and
+cold; but we had a good fire in a carron grate in the middle of the
+floor, and books to read, so that both body and mind are therein provided
+for.
+
+Among the books, I fell in with a _History of the Rebellion_, anent the
+hand that an English gentleman of the name of Waverley had in it. I was
+grieved that I had not time to read it through, for it was wonderful
+interesting, and far more particular, in many points, than any other
+account of that affair I have yet met with; but it's no so friendly to
+Protestant principles as I could have wished. However, if I get my
+legacy well settled, I will buy the book, and lend it to you on my
+return, please God, to the manse.
+
+We were put on shore at Glasgow by breakfast-time, and there we tarried
+all day, as I had a power of attorney to get from Miss Jenny Macbride, my
+cousin, to whom the colonel left the thousand pound legacy. Miss Jenny
+thought the legacy should have been more, and made some obstacle to
+signing the power; but both her lawyer and Andrew Pringle, my son,
+convinced her, that, as it was specified in the testament, she could not
+help it by standing out; so at long and last Miss Jenny was persuaded to
+put her name to the paper.
+
+Next day we all four got into a fly coach, and, without damage or
+detriment, reached this city in good time for dinner in Macgregor's
+hotel, a remarkable decent inn, next door to one Mr. Blackwood, a civil
+and discreet man in the bookselling line.
+
+Really the changes in Edinburgh since I was here, thirty years ago, are
+not to be told. I am confounded; for although I have both heard and read
+of the New Town in the _Edinburgh Advertiser_, and the _Scots Magazine_,
+I had no notion of what has come to pass. It's surprising to think
+wherein the decay of the nation is; for at Greenock I saw nothing but
+shipping and building; at Glasgow, streets spreading as if they were one
+of the branches of cotton-spinning; and here, the houses grown up as if
+they were sown in the seed-time with the corn, by a drill-machine, or
+dibbled in rigs and furrows like beans and potatoes.
+
+To-morrow, God willing, we embark in a smack at Leith, so that you will
+not hear from me again till it please Him to take us in the hollow of His
+hand to London. In the meantime, I have only to add, that, when the
+Session meets, I wish you would speak to the elders, particularly to Mr.
+Craig, no to be overly hard on that poor donsie thing, Meg Milliken,
+about her bairn; and tell Tam Glen, the father o't, from me, that it
+would have been a sore heart to that pious woman, his mother, had she
+been living, to have witnessed such a thing; and therefore I hope and
+trust, he will yet confess a fault, and own Meg for his wife, though she
+is but something of a tawpie. However, you need not diminish her to Tam.
+I hope Mr. Snodgrass will give as much satisfaction to the parish as can
+reasonably be expected in my absence; and I remain, dear sir, your friend
+and pastor,
+
+ ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
+
+Mr. Micklewham received the Doctor's letter about an hour before the
+Session met on the case of Tam Glen and Meg Milliken, and took it with
+him to the session-house, to read it to the elders before going into the
+investigation. Such a long and particular letter from the Doctor was, as
+they all justly remarked, kind and dutiful to his people, and a great
+pleasure to them.
+
+Mr. Daff observed, "Truly the Doctor's a vera funny man, and wonderfu'
+jocose about the toddy-bowl." But Mr. Craig said, that "sic a thing on
+the Lord's night gi'es me no pleasure; and I am for setting my face
+against Waverley's _History of the Rebellion_, whilk I hae heard spoken
+of among the ungodly, both at Kilwinning and Dalry; and if it has no
+respect to Protestant principles, I doubt it's but another dose o' the
+radical poison in a new guise." Mr. Icenor, however, thought that "the
+observe on the great Doctor Drystour was very edifying; and that they
+should see about getting him to help at the summer Occasion." {1}
+
+While they were thus reviewing, in their way, the first epistle of the
+Doctor, the betherel came in to say that Meg and Tam were at the door.
+"Oh, man," said Mr. Daff, slyly, "ye shouldna hae left them at the door
+by themselves." Mr. Craig looked at him austerely, and muttered
+something about the growing immorality of this backsliding age; but
+before the smoke of his indignation had kindled into eloquence, the
+delinquents were admitted. However, as we have nothing to do with the
+business, we shall leave them to their own deliberations.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II--THE VOYAGE
+
+
+On the fourteenth day after the departure of the family from the manse,
+the Rev. Mr. Charles Snodgrass, who was appointed to officiate during the
+absence of the Doctor, received the following letter from his old chum,
+Mr. Andrew Pringle. It would appear that the young advocate is not so
+solid in the head as some of his elder brethren at the Bar; and therefore
+many of his flights and observations must be taken with an allowance on
+the score of his youth.
+
+
+
+LETTER IV
+
+
+ _Andrew Pringle_, _Esq._, _Advocate_, _to the Rev. Charles Snodgrass_
+ LONDON.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND--We have at last reached London, after a stormy passage of
+seven days. The accommodation in the smacks looks extremely inviting in
+port, and in fine weather, I doubt not, is comfortable, even at sea; but
+in February, and in such visitations of the powers of the air as we have
+endured, a balloon must be a far better vehicle than all the vessels that
+have been constructed for passengers since the time of Noah. In the
+first place, the waves of the atmosphere cannot be so dangerous as those
+of the ocean, being but "thin air"; and I am sure they are not so
+disagreeable; then the speed of the balloon is so much greater,--and it
+would puzzle Professor Leslie to demonstrate that its motions are more
+unsteady; besides, who ever heard of sea-sickness in a balloon? the
+consideration of which alone would, to any reasonable person actually
+suffering under the pains of that calamity, be deemed more than an
+equivalent for all the little fractional difference of danger between the
+two modes of travelling. I shall henceforth regard it as a fine
+characteristic trait of our national prudence, that, in their journies to
+France and Flanders, the Scottish witches always went by air on
+broom-sticks and benweeds, instead of venturing by water in sieves, like
+those of England. But the English are under the influence of a maritime
+genius.
+
+When we had got as far up the Thames as Gravesend, the wind and tide came
+against us, so that the vessel was obliged to anchor, and I availed
+myself of the circumstance, to induce the family to disembark and go to
+London by LAND; and I esteem it a fortunate circumstance that we did so,
+the day, for the season, being uncommonly fine. After we had taken some
+refreshment, I procured places in a stage-coach for my mother and sister,
+and, with the Doctor, mounted myself on the outside. My father's
+old-fashioned notions boggled a little at first to this arrangement,
+which he thought somewhat derogatory to his ministerial dignity; but his
+scruples were in the end overruled.
+
+The country in this season is, of course, seen to disadvantage, but still
+it exhibits beauty enough to convince us what England must be when in
+leaf. The old gentleman's admiration of the increasing signs of what he
+called civilisation, as we approached London, became quite eloquent; but
+the first view of the city from Blackheath (which, by the bye, is a fine
+common, surrounded with villas and handsome houses) overpowered his
+faculties, and I shall never forget the impression it made on myself.
+The sun was declined towards the horizon; vast masses of dark low-hung
+clouds were mingled with the smoky canopy, and the dome of St. Paul's,
+like the enormous idol of some terrible deity, throned amidst the smoke
+of sacrifices and magnificence, darkness, and mystery, presented
+altogether an object of vast sublimity. I felt touched with reverence,
+as if I was indeed approaching the city of THE HUMAN POWERS.
+
+The distant view of Edinburgh is picturesque and romantic, but it affects
+a lower class of our associations. It is, compared to that of London,
+what the poem of the _Seasons_ is with respect to _Paradise Lost_--the
+castellated descriptions of Walter Scott to the _Darkness_ of Byron--the
+_Sabbath_ of Grahame to the _Robbers_ of Schiller. In the approach to
+Edinburgh, leisure and cheerfulness are on the road; large spaces of
+rural and pastoral nature are spread openly around, and mountains, and
+seas, and headlands, and vessels passing beyond them, going like those
+that die, we know not whither, while the sun is bright on their sails,
+and hope with them; but, in coming to this Babylon, there is an eager
+haste and a hurrying on from all quarters, towards that stupendous pile
+of gloom, through which no eye can penetrate; an unceasing sound, like
+the enginery of an earthquake at work, rolls from the heart of that
+profound and indefinable obscurity--sometimes a faint and yellow beam of
+the sun strikes here and there on the vast expanse of edifices; and
+churches, and holy asylums, are dimly seen lifting up their countless
+steeples and spires, like so many lightning rods to avert the wrath of
+Heaven.
+
+The entrance to Edinburgh also awakens feelings of a more pleasing
+character. The rugged veteran aspect of the Old Town is agreeably
+contrasted with the bright smooth forehead of the New, and there is not
+such an overwhelming torrent of animal life, as to make you pause before
+venturing to stem it; the noises are not so deafening, and the occasional
+sound of a ballad-singer, or a Highland piper, varies and enriches the
+discords; but here, a multitudinous assemblage of harsh alarms, of
+selfish contentions, and of furious carriages, driven by a fierce and
+insolent race, shatter the very hearing, till you partake of the activity
+with which all seem as much possessed as if a general apprehension
+prevailed, that the great clock of Time would strike the doom-hour before
+their tasks were done. But I must stop, for the postman with his bell,
+like the betherel of some ancient "borough's town" summoning to a burial,
+is in the street, and warns me to conclude.--Yours,
+
+ ANDREW PRINGLE.
+
+
+
+LETTER V
+
+
+ _The Rev. Dr. Pringle to Mr. Micklewham_, _Schoolmaster and
+ Session-Clerk_, _Garnock_
+ LONDON, 49 NORFOLK STREET, STRAND.
+
+DEAR SIR--On the first Sunday forthcoming after the receiving hereof, you
+will not fail to recollect in the remembering prayer, that we return
+thanks for our safe arrival in London, after a dangerous voyage. Well,
+indeed, is it ordained that we should pray for those who go down to the
+sea in ships, and do business on the great deep; for what me and mine
+have come through is unspeakable, and the hand of Providence was visibly
+manifested.
+
+On the day of our embarkation at Leith, a fair wind took us onward at a
+blithe rate for some time; but in the course of that night the bridle of
+the tempest was slackened, and the curb of the billows loosened, and the
+ship reeled to and fro like a drunken man, and no one could stand
+therein. My wife and daughter lay at the point of death; Andrew Pringle,
+my son, also was prostrated with the grievous affliction; and the very
+soul within me was as if it would have been cast out of the body.
+
+On the following day the storm abated, and the wind blew favourable; but
+towards the heel of the evening it again came vehement, and there was no
+help unto our distress. About midnight, however, it pleased HIM, whose
+breath is the tempest, to be more sparing with the whip of His
+displeasure on our poor bark, as she hirpled on in her toilsome journey
+through the waters; and I was enabled, through His strength, to lift my
+head from the pillow of sickness, and ascend the deck, where I thought of
+Noah looking out of the window in the ark, upon the face of the desolate
+flood, and of Peter walking on the sea; and I said to myself, it matters
+not where we are, for we can be in no place where Jehovah is not there
+likewise, whether it be on the waves of the ocean, or the mountain tops,
+or in the valley and shadow of death.
+
+The third day the wind came contrary, and in the fourth, and the fifth,
+and the sixth, we were also sorely buffeted; but on the night of the
+sixth we entered the mouth of the river Thames, and on the morning of the
+seventh day of our departure, we cast anchor near a town called
+Gravesend, where, to our exceeding great joy, it pleased Him, in whom
+alone there is salvation, to allow us once more to put our foot on the
+dry land.
+
+When we had partaken of a repast, the first blessed with the blessing of
+an appetite, from the day of our leaving our native land, we got two
+vacancies in a stage-coach for my wife and daughter; but with Andrew
+Pringle, my son, I was obligated to mount aloft on the outside. I had
+some scruple of conscience about this, for I was afraid of my decorum. I
+met, however, with nothing but the height of discretion from the other
+outside passengers, although I jealoused that one of them was a light
+woman. Really I had no notion that the English were so civilised; they
+were so well bred, and the very duddiest of them spoke such a fine style
+of language, that when I looked around on the country, I thought myself
+in the land of Canaan. But it's extraordinary what a power of drink the
+coachmen drink, stopping and going into every change-house, and yet
+behaving themselves with the greatest sobriety. And then they are all so
+well dressed, which is no doubt owing to the poor rates. I am thinking,
+however, that for all they cry against them, the poor rates are but a
+small evil, since they keep the poor folk in such food and raiment, and
+out of the temptations to thievery; indeed, such a thing as a common
+beggar is not to be seen in this land, excepting here and there a sorner
+or a ne'er-do-weel.
+
+When we had got to the outskirts of London, I began to be ashamed of the
+sin of high places, and would gladly have got into the inside of the
+coach, for fear of anybody knowing me; but although the multitude of
+by-goers was like the kirk scailing at the Sacrament, I saw not a kent
+face, nor one that took the least notice of my situation. At last we got
+to an inn, called _The White Horse_, Fetter-Lane, where we hired a
+hackney to take us to the lodgings provided for us here in Norfolk
+Street, by Mr. Pawkie, the Scotch solicitor, a friend of Andrew Pringle,
+my son. Now it was that we began to experience the sharpers of London;
+for it seems that there are divers Norfolk Streets. Ours was in the
+Strand (mind that when you direct), not very far from Fetter-Lane; but
+the hackney driver took us away to one afar off, and when we knocked at
+the number we thought was ours, we found ourselves at a house that should
+not be told. I was so mortified, that I did not know what to say; and
+when Andrew Pringle, my son, rebuked the man for the mistake, he only
+gave a cunning laugh, and said we should have told him whatna Norfolk
+Street we wanted. Andrew stormed at this--but I discerned it was all
+owing to our own inexperience, and put an end to the contention, by
+telling the man to take us to Norfolk Street in the Strand, which was the
+direction we had got. But when we got to the door, the coachman was so
+extortionate, that another hobbleshaw arose. Mrs. Pringle had been told
+that, in such disputes, the best way of getting redress was to take the
+number of the coach; but, in trying to do so, we found it fastened on,
+and I thought the hackneyman would have gone by himself with laughter.
+Andrew, who had not observed what we were doing, when he saw us trying to
+take off the number, went like one demented, and paid the man, I cannot
+tell what, to get us out, and into the house, for fear we should have
+been mobbit.
+
+I have not yet seen the colonel's agents, so can say nothing as to the
+business of our coming; for, landing at Gravesend, we did not bring our
+trunks with us, and Andrew has gone to the wharf this morning to get
+them, and, until we get them, we can go nowhere, which is the occasion of
+my writing so soon, knowing also how you and the whole parish would be
+anxious to hear what had become of us; and I remain, dear sir, your
+friend and pastor,
+
+ ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
+
+On Saturday evening, Saunders Dickie, the Irvine postman, suspecting that
+this letter was from the Doctor, went with it himself, on his own feet,
+to Mr. Micklewham, although the distance is more than two miles, but
+Saunders, in addition to the customary _twal pennies_ on the postage, had
+a dram for his pains. The next morning being wet, Mr. Micklewham had not
+an opportunity of telling any of the parishioners in the churchyard of
+the Doctor's safe arrival, so that when he read out the request to return
+thanks (for he was not only school-master and session-clerk, but also
+precentor), there was a murmur of pleasure diffused throughout the
+congregation, and the greatest curiosity was excited to know what the
+dangers were, from which their worthy pastor and his whole family had so
+thankfully escaped in their voyage to London; so that, when the service
+was over, the elders adjourned to the session-house to hear the letter
+read; and many of the heads of families, and other respectable
+parishioners, were admitted to the honours of the sitting, who all
+sympathised, with the greatest sincerity, in the sufferings which their
+minister and his family had endured. Mr. Daff, however, was justly
+chided by Mr. Craig, for rubbing his hands, and giving a sort of
+sniggering laugh, at the Doctor's sitting on high with a light woman.
+But even Mr. Snodgrass was seen to smile at the incident of taking the
+number off the coach, the meaning of which none but himself seemed to
+understand.
+
+When the epistle had been thus duly read, Mr. Micklewham promised, for
+the satisfaction of some of the congregation, that he would get two or
+three copies made by the best writers in his school, to be handed about
+the parish, and Mr. Icenor remarked, that truly it was a thing to be held
+in remembrance, for he had not heard of greater tribulation by the waters
+since the shipwreck of the Apostle Paul.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER III--THE LEGACY
+
+
+Soon after the receipt of the letters which we had the pleasure of
+communicating in the foregoing chapter, the following was received from
+Mrs. Pringle, and the intelligence it contains is so interesting and
+important, that we hasten to lay it before our readers:--
+
+
+
+LETTER VI
+
+
+ _Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn_
+ LONDON.
+
+MY DEAR MISS MALLY--You must not expect no particulars from me of our
+journey; but as Rachel is writing all the calamities that befell us to
+Bell Tod, you will, no doubt, hear of them. But all is nothing to my
+losses. I bought from the first hand, Mr. Treddles the manufacturer, two
+pieces of muslin, at Glasgow, such a thing not being to be had on any
+reasonable terms here, where they get all their fine muslins from Glasgow
+and Paisley; and in the same bocks with them I packit a small crock of
+our ain excellent poudered butter, with a delap cheese, for I was told
+that such commodities are not to be had genuine in London. I likewise
+had in it a pot of marmlet, which Miss Jenny Macbride gave me at Glasgow,
+assuring me that it was not only dentice, but a curiosity among the
+English, and my best new bumbeseen goun in peper. Howsomever, in the
+nailing of the bocks, which I did carefully with my oun hands, one of the
+nails gaed in ajee, and broke the pot of marmlet, which, by the jolting
+of the ship, ruined the muslin, rottened the peper round the goun, which
+the shivers cut into more than twenty great holes. Over and above all,
+the crock with the butter was, no one can tell how, crackit, and the
+pickle lecking out, and mixing with the seerip of the marmlet, spoilt the
+cheese. In short, at the object I beheld, when the bocks was opened, I
+could have ta'en to the greeting; but I behaved with more composity on
+the occasion, than the Doctor thought it was in the power of nature to
+do. Howsomever, till I get a new goun and other things, I am obliged to
+be a prisoner; and as the Doctor does not like to go to the
+counting-house of the agents without me, I know not what is yet to be the
+consequence of our journey. But it would need to be something; for we
+pay four guineas and a half a week for our dry lodgings, which is at a
+degree more than the Doctor's whole stipend. As yet, for the cause of
+these misfortunes, I can give you no account of London; but there is, as
+everybody kens, little thrift in their housekeeping. We just buy our tea
+by the quarter a pound, and our loaf sugar, broken in a peper bag, by the
+pound, which would be a disgrace to a decent family in Scotland; and when
+we order dinner, we get no more than just serves, so that we have no cold
+meat if a stranger were coming by chance, which makes an unco bare house.
+The servan lasses I cannot abide; they dress better at their wark than
+ever I did on an ordinaire week-day at the manse; and this very morning I
+saw madam, the kitchen lass, mounted on a pair of pattens, washing the
+plain stenes before the door; na, for that matter, a bare foot is not to
+be seen within the four walls of London, at the least I have na seen no
+such thing.
+
+In the way of marketing, things are very good here, and considering, not
+dear; but all is sold by the licht weight, only the fish are awful; half
+a guinea for a cod's head, and no bigger than the drouds the cadgers
+bring from Ayr, at a shilling and eighteenpence apiece.
+
+Tell Miss Nanny Eydent that I have seen none of the fashions as yet; but
+we are going to the burial of the auld king next week, and I'll write her
+a particular account how the leddies are dressed; but everybody is in
+deep mourning. Howsomever I have seen but little, and that only in a
+manner from the window; but I could not miss the opportunity of a frank
+that Andrew has got, and as he's waiting for the pen, you must excuse
+haste. From your sincere friend,
+
+ JANET PRINGLE.
+
+
+
+LETTER VII
+
+
+ _Andrew Pringle_, _Esq._, _to the Rev. Charles Snodgrass_
+ LONDON.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND--It will give you pleasure to hear that my father is
+likely to get his business speedily settled without any equivocation; and
+that all those prudential considerations which brought us to London were
+but the phantasms of our own inexperience. I use the plural, for I
+really share in the shame of having called in question the high character
+of the agents: it ought to have been warrantry enough that everything
+would be fairly adjusted. But I must give you some account of what has
+taken place, to illustrate our provincialism, and to give you some idea
+of the way of doing business in London.
+
+After having recovered from the effects, and repaired some of the
+accidents of our voyage, we yesterday morning sallied forth, the Doctor,
+my mother, and your humble servant, in a hackney coach, to Broad Street,
+where the agents have their counting-house, and were ushered into a room
+among other legatees or clients, waiting for an audience of Mr. Argent,
+the principal of the house.
+
+I know not how it is, that the little personal peculiarities, so amusing
+to strangers, should be painful when we see them in those whom we love
+and esteem; but I own to you, that there was a something in the demeanour
+of the old folks on this occasion, that would have been exceedingly
+diverting to me, had my filial reverence been less sincere for them.
+
+The establishment of Messrs. Argent and Company is of vast extent, and
+has in it something even of a public magnitude; the number of the clerks,
+the assiduity of all, and the order that obviously prevails throughout,
+give at the first sight, an impression that bespeaks respect for the
+stability and integrity of the concern. When we had been seated about
+ten minutes, and my father's name taken to Mr. Argent, an answer was
+brought, that he would see us as soon as possible; but we were obliged to
+wait at least half an hour more. Upon our being at last admitted, Mr.
+Argent received us standing, and in an easy gentlemanly manner said to my
+father, "You are the residuary legatee of the late Colonel Armour. I am
+sorry that you did not apprise me of this visit, that I might have been
+prepared to give the information you naturally desire; but if you will
+call here to-morrow at 12 o'clock, I shall then be able to satisfy you on
+the subject. Your lady, I presume?" he added, turning to my mother;
+"Mrs. Argent will have the honour of waiting on you; may I therefore beg
+the favour of your address?" Fortunately I was provided with cards, and
+having given him one, we found ourselves constrained, as it were, to take
+our leave. The whole interview did not last two minutes, and I never was
+less satisfied with myself. The Doctor and my mother were in the
+greatest anguish; and when we were again seated in the coach, loudly
+expressed their apprehensions. They were convinced that some stratagem
+was meditated; they feared that their journey to London would prove as
+little satisfactory as that of the Wrongheads, and that they had been
+throwing away good money in building castles in the air.
+
+It had been previously arranged, that we were to return for my sister,
+and afterwards visit some of the sights; but the clouded visages of her
+father and mother darkened the very spirit of Rachel, and she largely
+shared in their fears. This, however, was not the gravest part of the
+business; for, instead of going to St. Paul's and the Tower, as we had
+intended, my mother declared, that not one farthing would they spend more
+till they were satisfied that the expenses already incurred were likely
+to be reimbursed; and a Chancery suit, with all the horrors of wig and
+gown, floated in spectral haziness before their imagination.
+
+We sat down to a frugal meal, and although the remainder of a bottle of
+wine, saved from the preceding day, hardly afforded a glass apiece, the
+Doctor absolutely prohibited me from opening another.
+
+This morning, faithful to the hour, we were again in Broad Street, with
+hearts knit up into the most peremptory courage; and, on being announced,
+were immediately admitted to Mr. Argent. He received us with the same
+ease as in the first interview, and, after requesting us to be seated
+(which, by the way, he did not do yesterday, a circumstance that was
+ominously remarked), he began to talk on indifferent matters. I could
+see that a question, big with law and fortune, was gathering in the
+breasts both of the Doctor and my mother, and that they were in a state
+far from that of the blessed. But one of the clerks, before they had
+time to express their indignant suspicions, entered with a paper, and Mr.
+Argent, having glanced it over, said to the Doctor--"I congratulate you,
+sir, on the amount of the colonel's fortune. I was not indeed aware
+before that he had died so rich. He has left about 120,000 pounds;
+seventy-five thousand of which is in the five per cents; the remainder in
+India bonds and other securities. The legacies appear to be
+inconsiderable, so that the residue to you, after paying them and the
+expenses of Doctors' Commons, will exceed a hundred thousand pounds."
+
+My father turned his eyes upwards in thankfulness. "But," continued Mr.
+Argent, "before the property can be transferred, it will be necessary for
+you to provide about four thousand pounds to pay the duty and other
+requisite expenses." This was a thunderclap. "Where can I get such a
+sum?" exclaimed my father, in a tone of pathetic simplicity. Mr. Argent
+smiled and said, "We shall manage that for you"; and having in the same
+moment pulled a bell, a fine young man entered, whom he introduced to us
+as his son, and desired him to explain what steps it was necessary for
+the Doctor to take. We accordingly followed Mr. Charles Argent to his
+own room.
+
+Thus, in less time than I have been in writing it, were we put in
+possession of all the information we required, and found those whom we
+feared might be interested to withhold the settlement, alert and prompt
+to assist us.
+
+Mr. Charles Argent is naturally more familiar than his father. He has a
+little dash of pleasantry in his manner, with a shrewd good-humoured
+fashionable air, that renders him soon an agreeable acquaintance. He
+entered with singular felicity at once into the character of the Doctor
+and my mother, and waggishly drolled, as if he did not understand them,
+in order, I could perceive, to draw out the simplicity of their
+apprehensions. He quite won the old lady's economical heart, by offering
+to frank her letters, for he is in Parliament. "You have probably," said
+he slyly, "friends in the country, to whom you may be desirous of
+communicating the result of your journey to London; send your letters to
+me, and I will forward them, and any that you expect may also come under
+cover to my address, for postage is very expensive."
+
+As we were taking our leave, after being fully instructed in all the
+preliminary steps to be taken before the transfers of the funded property
+can be made, he asked me, in a friendly manner, to dine with him this
+evening, and I never accepted an invitation with more pleasure. I
+consider his acquaintance a most agreeable acquisition, and not one of
+the least of those advantages which this new opulence has put it in my
+power to attain. The incidents, indeed, of this day, have been all
+highly gratifying, and the new and brighter phase in which I have seen
+the mercantile character, as it is connected with the greatness and glory
+of my country--is in itself equivalent to an accession of useful
+knowledge. I can no longer wonder at the vast power which the British
+Government wielded during the late war, when I reflect that the method
+and promptitude of the house of Messrs. Argent and Company is common to
+all the great commercial concerns from which the statesmen derived, as
+from so many reservoirs, those immense pecuniary supplies, which enabled
+them to beggar all the resources of a political despotism, the most
+unbounded, both in power and principle, of any tyranny that ever existed
+so long.--Yours, etc.,
+
+ ANDREW PRINGLE.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IV--THE TOWN
+
+
+There was a great tea-drinking held in the Kirkgate of Irvine, at the
+house of Miss Mally Glencairn; and at that assemblage of rank, beauty,
+and fashion, among other delicacies of the season, several new-come-home
+Clyde skippers, roaring from Greenock and Port-Glasgow, were served
+up--but nothing contributed more to the entertainment of the evening than
+a proposal, on the part of Miss Mally, that those present who had
+received letters from the Pringles should read them for the benefit of
+the company. This was, no doubt, a preconcerted scheme between her and
+Miss Isabella Tod, to hear what Mr. Andrew Pringle had said to his friend
+Mr. Snodgrass, and likewise what the Doctor himself had indited to Mr.
+Micklewham; some rumour having spread of the wonderful escapes and
+adventures of the family in their journey and voyage to London. Had
+there not been some prethought of this kind, it was not indeed probable,
+that both the helper and session-clerk of Garnock could have been there
+together, in a party, where it was an understood thing, that not only
+Whist and Catch Honours were to be played, but even obstreperous Birky
+itself, for the diversion of such of the company as were not used to
+gambling games. It was in consequence of what took place at this Irvine
+route, that we were originally led to think of collecting the letters.
+
+
+
+LETTER VIII
+
+
+ _Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella Tod_
+ LONDON.
+
+MY DEAR BELL--It was my heartfelt intention to keep a regular journal of
+all our proceedings, from the sad day on which I bade a long adieu to my
+native shades--and I persevered with a constancy becoming our dear and
+youthful friendship, in writing down everything that I saw, either rare
+or beautiful, till the hour of our departure from Leith. In that
+faithful register of my feelings and reflections as a traveller, I
+described our embarkation at Greenock, on board the steam-boat,--our
+sailing past Port-Glasgow, an insignificant town, with a steeple;--the
+stupendous rock of Dumbarton Castle, that Gibraltar of antiquity;--our
+landing at Glasgow;--my astonishment at the magnificence of that opulent
+metropolis of the muslin manufacturers; my brother's remark, that the
+punch-bowls on the roofs of the Infirmary, the Museum, and the Trades
+Hall, were emblematic of the universal estimation in which that
+celebrated mixture is held by all ranks and degrees--learned, commercial,
+and even medical, of the inhabitants;--our arrival at Edinburgh--my
+emotion on beholding the Castle, and the visionary lake which may be
+nightly seen from the windows of Princes Street, between the Old and New
+Town, reflecting the lights of the lofty city beyond--with a thousand
+other delightful and romantic circumstances, which render it no longer
+surprising that the Edinburgh folk should be, as they think themselves,
+the most accomplished people in the world. But, alas! from the moment I
+placed my foot on board that cruel vessel, of which the very idea is
+anguish, all thoughts were swallowed up in suffering-swallowed, did I
+say? Ah, my dear Bell, it was the odious reverse--but imagination alone
+can do justice to the subject. Not, however, to dwell on what is past,
+during the whole time of our passage from Leith, I was unable to think,
+far less to write; and, although there was a handsome young Hussar
+officer also a passenger, I could not even listen to the elegant
+compliments which he seemed disposed to offer by way of consolation, when
+he had got the better of his own sickness. Neither love nor valour can
+withstand the influence of that sea-demon. The interruption thus
+occasioned to my observations made me destroy my journal, and I have now
+to write to you only about London--only about London! What an expression
+for this human universe, as my brother calls it, as if my weak feminine
+pen were equal to the stupendous theme!
+
+But, before entering on the subject, let me first satisfy the anxiety of
+your faithful bosom with respect to my father's legacy. All the
+accounts, I am happy to tell you, are likely to be amicably settled; but
+the exact amount is not known as yet, only I can see, by my brother's
+manner, that it is not less than we expected, and my mother speaks about
+sending me to a boarding-school to learn accomplishments. Nothing,
+however, is to be done until something is actually in hand. But what
+does it all avail to me? Here am I, a solitary being in the midst of
+this wilderness of mankind, far from your sympathising affection, with
+the dismal prospect before me of going a second time to school, and
+without the prospect of enjoying, with my own sweet companions, that
+light and bounding gaiety we were wont to share, in skipping from tomb to
+tomb in the breezy churchyard of Irvine, like butterflies in spring
+flying from flower to flower, as a Wordsworth or a Wilson would express
+it.
+
+We have got elegant lodgings at present in Norfolk Street, but my brother
+is trying, with all his address, to get us removed to a more fashionable
+part of the town, which, if the accounts were once settled, I think will
+take place; and he proposes to hire a carriage for a whole month.
+Indeed, he has given hints about the saving that might be made by buying
+one of our own; but my mother shakes her head, and says, "Andrew, dinna
+be carri't." From all which it is very plain, though they don't allow me
+to know their secrets, that the legacy is worth the coming for. But to
+return to the lodgings;--we have what is called a first and second floor,
+a drawing-room, and three handsome bedchambers. The drawing-room is very
+elegant; and the carpet is the exact same pattern of the one in the
+dress-drawing-room of Eglintoun Castle. Our landlady is indeed a lady,
+and I am surprised how she should think of letting lodgings, for she
+dresses better, and wears finer lace, than ever I saw in Irvine. But I
+am interrupted.--
+
+I now resume my pen. We have just had a call from Mrs. and Miss Argent,
+the wife and daughter of the colonel's man of business. They seem great
+people, and came in their own chariot, with two grand footmen behind; but
+they are pleasant and easy, and the object of their visit was to invite
+us to a family dinner to-morrow, Sunday. I hope we may become better
+acquainted; but the two livery servants make such a difference in our
+degrees, that I fear this is a vain expectation. Miss Argent was,
+however, very frank, and told me that she was herself only just come to
+London for the first time since she was a child, having been for the last
+seven years at a school in the country. I shall, however, be better able
+to say more about her in my next letter. Do not, however, be afraid that
+she shall ever supplant you in my heart. No, my dear friend, companion
+of my days of innocence,--that can never be. But this call from such
+persons of fashion looks as if the legacy had given us some
+consideration; so that I think my father and mother may as well let me
+know at once what my prospects are, that I might show you how
+disinterestedly and truly I am, my dear Bell, yours,
+
+ RACHEL PRINGLE.
+
+When Miss Isabella Tod had read the letter, there was a solemn pause for
+some time--all present knew something, more or less, of the fair writer;
+but a carriage, a carpet like the best at Eglintoun, a Hussar officer,
+and two footmen in livery, were phantoms of such high import, that no one
+could distinctly express the feelings with which the intelligence
+affected them. It was, however, unanimously agreed, that the Doctor's
+legacy had every symptom of being equal to what it was at first expected
+to be, namely, twenty thousand pounds;--a sum which, by some occult or
+recondite moral influence of the Lottery, is the common maximum, in
+popular estimation, of any extraordinary and indefinite windfall of
+fortune. Miss Becky Glibbans, from the purest motives of charity,
+devoutly wished that poor Rachel might be able to carry her full cup with
+a steady hand; and the Rev. Mr. Snodgrass, that so commendable an
+expression might not lose its edifying effect by any lighter talk,
+requested Mr. Micklewham to read his letter from the Doctor.
+
+
+
+LETTER IX
+
+
+ _The Rev. Z. Pringle_, _D.D._, _to Mr. Micklewham_, _Schoolmaster and
+ Session-Clerk of Garnock_
+ LONDON.
+
+DEAR SIR--I have written by the post that will take this to hand, a
+letter to Banker M---y, at Irvine, concerning some small matters of money
+that I may stand in need of his opinion anent; and as there is a prospect
+now of a settlement of the legacy business, I wish you to take a step
+over to the banker, and he will give you ten pounds, which you will
+administer to the poor, by putting a twenty-shilling note in the plate on
+Sunday, as a public testimony from me of thankfulness for the hope that
+is before us; the other nine pounds you will quietly, and in your own
+canny way, divide after the following manner, letting none of the
+partakers thereof know from what other hand than the Lord's the help
+comes, for, indeed, from whom but HIS does any good befall us!
+
+You will give to auld Mizy Eccles ten shillings. She's a careful
+creature, and it will go as far with her thrift as twenty will do with
+Effy Hopkirk; so you will give Effy twenty. Mrs. Binnacle, who lost her
+husband, the sailor, last winter, is, I am sure, with her two sickly
+bairns, very ill off; I would therefore like if you will lend her a note,
+and ye may put half-a-crown in the hand of each of the poor weans for a
+playock, for she's a proud spirit, and will bear much before she
+complain. Thomas Dowy has been long unable to do a turn of work, so you
+may give him a note too. I promised that donsie body, Willy Shachle, the
+betherel, that when I got my legacy, he should get a guinea, which would
+be more to him than if the colonel had died at home, and he had had the
+howking of his grave; you may therefore, in the meantime, give Willy a
+crown, and be sure to warn him well no to get fou with it, for I'll be
+very angry if he does. But what in this matter will need all your skill,
+is the giving of the remaining five pounds to auld Miss Betty Peerie;
+being a gentlewoman both by blood and education, she's a very slimmer
+affair to handle in a doing of this kind. But I am persuaded she's in as
+great necessity as many that seem far poorer, especially since the muslin
+flowering has gone so down. Her bits of brats are sairly worn, though
+she keeps out an apparition of gentility. Now, for all this trouble, I
+will give you an account of what we have been doing since my last.
+
+When we had gotten ourselves made up in order, we went, with Andrew
+Pringle, my son, to the counting-house, and had a satisfactory vista of
+the residue; but it will be some time before things can be
+settled--indeed, I fear, not for months to come--so that I have been
+thinking, if the parish was pleased with Mr. Snodgrass, it might be my
+duty to my people to give up to him my stipend, and let him be appointed
+not only helper, but successor likewise. It would not be right of me to
+give the manse, both because he's a young and inexperienced man, and
+cannot, in the course of nature, have got into the way of visiting the
+sick-beds of the frail, which is the main part of a pastor's duty, and
+likewise, because I wish to die, as I have lived, among my people. But,
+when all's settled, I will know better what to do.
+
+When we had got an inkling from Mr. Argent of what the colonel has
+left,--and I do assure you, that money is not to be got, even in the way
+of legacy, without anxiety,--Mrs. Pringle and I consulted together, and
+resolved, that it was our first duty, as a token of our gratitude to the
+Giver of all Good, to make our first outlay to the poor. So, without
+saying a word either to Rachel, or to Andrew Pringle, my son, knowing
+that there was a daily worship in the Church of England, we slipped out
+of the house by ourselves, and, hiring a hackney conveyance, told the
+driver thereof to drive us to the high church of St. Paul's. This was
+out of no respect to the pomp and pride of prelacy, but to Him before
+whom both pope and presbyter are equal, as they are seen through the
+merits of Christ Jesus. We had taken a gold guinea in our hand, but
+there was no broad at the door; and, instead of a venerable elder,
+lending sanctity to his office by reason of his age, such as we see in
+the effectual institutions of our own national church--the door was kept
+by a young man, much more like a writer's whipper-snapper-clerk, than one
+qualified to fill that station, which good King David would have
+preferred to dwelling in tents of sin. However, we were not come to spy
+the nakedness of the land, so we went up the outside stairs, and I asked
+at him for the plate; "Plate!" says he; "why, it's on the altar!" I
+should have known this--the custom of old being to lay the offerings on
+the altar, but I had forgot; such is the force, you see, of habit, that
+the Church of England is not so well reformed and purged as ours is from
+the abominations of the leaven of idolatry. We were then stepping
+forward, when he said to me, as sharply as if I was going to take an
+advantage, "You must pay here." "Very well, wherever it is customary,"
+said I, in a meek manner, and gave him the guinea. Mrs. Pringle did the
+same. "I cannot give you change," cried he, with as little decorum as if
+we had been paying at a playhouse. "It makes no odds," said I; "keep it
+all." Whereupon he was so converted by the mammon of iniquity, that he
+could not be civil enough, he thought--but conducted us in, and showed us
+the marble monuments, and the French colours that were taken in the war,
+till the time of worship--nothing could surpass his discretion.
+
+At last the organ began to sound, and we went into the place of worship;
+but oh, Mr. Micklewham, yon is a thin kirk. There was not a hearer forby
+Mrs. Pringle and me, saving and excepting the relics of popery that
+assisted at the service. What was said, I must, however, in verity
+confess, was not far from the point. But it's still a comfort to see
+that prelatical usurpations are on the downfall; no wonder that there is
+no broad at the door to receive the collection for the poor, when no
+congregation entereth in. You may, therefore, tell Mr. Craig, and it
+will gladden his heart to hear the tidings, that the great Babylonian
+madam is now, indeed, but a very little cutty.
+
+On our return home to our lodgings, we found Andrew Pringle, my son, and
+Rachel, in great consternation about our absence. When we told them that
+we had been at worship, I saw they were both deeply affected; and I was
+pleased with my children, the more so, as you know I have had my doubts
+that Andrew Pringle's principles have not been strengthened by the
+reading of the _Edinburgh Review_. Nothing more passed at that time, for
+we were disturbed by a Captain Sabre that came up with us in the smack,
+calling to see how we were after our journey; and as he was a civil
+well-bred young man, which I marvel at, considering he's a Hussar
+dragoon, we took a coach, and went to see the lions, as he said; but,
+instead of taking us to the Tower of London, as I expected, he ordered
+the man to drive us round the town. In our way through the city he
+showed us the Temple Bar, where Lord Kilmarnock's head was placed after
+the Rebellion, and pointed out the Bank of England and Royal Exchange.
+He said the steeple of the Exchange was taken down shortly ago--and that
+the late improvements at the Bank were very grand. I remembered having
+read in the _Edinburgh Advertiser_, some years past, that there was a
+great deal said in Parliament about the state of the Exchange, and the
+condition of the Bank, which I could never thoroughly understand. And,
+no doubt, the taking own of an old building, and the building up of a new
+one so near together, must, in such a crowded city as this, be not only a
+great detriment to business, but dangerous to the community at large.
+
+After we had driven about for more than two hours, and neither seen lions
+nor any other curiosity, but only the outside of houses, we returned
+home, where we found a copperplate card left by Mr. Argent, the colonel's
+agent, with the name of his private dwelling-house. Both me and Mrs.
+Pringle were confounded at the sight of this thing, and could not but
+think that it prognosticated no good; for we had seen the gentleman
+himself in the forenoon. Andrew Pringle, my son, could give no
+satisfactory reason for such an extraordinary manifestation of anxiety to
+see us; so that, after sitting on thorns at our dinner, I thought that we
+should see to the bottom of the business. Accordingly, a hackney was
+summoned to the door, and me and Andrew Pringle, my son, got into it, and
+told the man to drive to second in the street where Mr. Argent lived, and
+which was the number of his house. The man got up, and away we went;
+but, after he had driven an awful time, and stopping and inquiring at
+different places, he said there was no such house as Second's in the
+street; whereupon Andrew Pringle, my son, asked him what he meant, and
+the man said that he supposed it was one Second's Hotel, or Coffee-house,
+that we wanted. Now, only think of the craftiness of the ne'er-da-weel;
+it was with some difficulty that I could get him to understand, that
+second was just as good as number two; for Andrew Pringle, my son, would
+not interfere, but lay back in the coach, and was like to split his sides
+at my confabulating with the hackney man. At long and length we got to
+the house, and were admitted to Mr. Argent, who was sitting by himself in
+his library reading, with a plate of oranges, and two decanters with wine
+before him. I explained to him, as well as I could, my surprise and
+anxiety at seeing his card, at which he smiled, and said, it was merely a
+sort of practice that had come into fashion of late years, and that,
+although we had been at his counting-house in the morning, he considered
+it requisite that he should call on his return from the city. I made the
+best excuse I could for the mistake; and the servant having placed
+glasses on the table, we were invited to take wine. But I was grieved to
+think that so respectable a man should have had the bottles before him by
+himself, the more especially as he said his wife and daughters had gone
+to a party, and that he did not much like such sort of things. But for
+all that, we found him a wonderful conversible man; and Andrew Pringle,
+my son, having read all the new books put out at Edinburgh, could speak
+with him on any subject. In the course of conversation they touched upon
+politick economy, and Andrew Pringle, my son, in speaking about cash in
+the Bank of England, told him what I had said concerning the alterations
+of the Royal Exchange steeple, with which Mr. Argent seemed greatly
+pleased, and jocosely proposed as a toast,--"May the country never suffer
+more from the alterations in the Exchange, than the taking down of the
+steeple." But as Mrs. Pringle is wanting to send a bit line under the
+same frank to her cousin, Miss Mally Glencairn, I must draw to a
+conclusion, assuring you, that I am, dear sir, your sincere friend and
+pastor,
+
+ ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
+
+The impression which this letter made on the auditors of Mr. Micklewham
+was highly favourable to the Doctor--all bore testimony to his
+benevolence and piety; and Mrs. Glibbans expressed, in very loquacious
+terms, her satisfaction at the neglect to which prelacy was consigned.
+The only person who seemed to be affected by other than the most sedate
+feelings on the occasion was the Rev. Mr. Snodgrass, who was observed to
+smile in a very unbecoming manner at some parts of the Doctor's account
+of his reception at St. Paul's. Indeed, it was apparently with the
+utmost difficulty that the young clergyman could restrain himself from
+giving liberty to his risible faculties. It is really surprising how
+differently the same thing affects different people. "The Doctor and
+Mrs. Pringle giving a guinea at the door of St. Paul's for the poor need
+not make folk laugh," said Mrs. Glibbans; "for is it not written, that
+whosoever giveth to the poor lendeth to the Lord?" "True, my dear
+madam," replied Mr. Snodgrass, "but the Lord to whom our friends in this
+case gave their money is the Lord Bishop of London; all the collection
+made at the doors of St. Paul's Cathedral is, I understand, a perquisite
+of the Bishop's." In this the reverend gentleman was not very correctly
+informed, for, in the first place, it is not a collection, but an
+exaction; and, in the second place, it is only sanctioned by the Bishop,
+who allows the inferior clergy to share the gains among themselves. Mrs.
+Glibbans, however, on hearing his explanation, exclaimed, "Gude be about
+us!" and pushing back her chair with a bounce, streaking down her gown at
+the same time with both her hands, added, "No wonder that a judgment is
+upon the land, when we hear of money-changers in the temple." Miss Mally
+Glencairn, to appease her gathering wrath and holy indignation, said
+facetiously, "Na, na, Mrs. Glibbans, ye forget, there was nae changing of
+money there. The man took the whole guineas. But not to make a
+controversy on the subject, Mr. Snodgrass will now let us hear what
+Andrew Pringle, 'my son,' has said to him":--And the reverend gentleman
+read the following letter with due circumspection, and in his best
+manner:--
+
+
+
+LETTER X
+
+
+ _Andrew Pringle_, _Esq._, _to the Reverend Charles Snodgrass_
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND--I have heard it alleged, as the observation of a great
+traveller, that the manners of the higher classes of society throughout
+Christendom are so much alike, that national peculiarities among them are
+scarcely perceptible. This is not correct; the differences between those
+of London and Edinburgh are to me very striking. It is not that they
+talk and perform the little etiquettes of social intercourse differently;
+for, in these respects, they are apparently as similar as it is possible
+for imitation to make them; but the difference to which I refer is an
+indescribable something, which can only be compared to peculiarities of
+accent. They both speak the same language; perhaps in classical purity
+of phraseology the fashionable Scotchman is even superior to the
+Englishman; but there is a flatness of tone in his accent--a lack of what
+the musicians call expression, which gives a local and provincial effect
+to his conversation, however, in other respects, learned and intelligent.
+It is so with his manners; he conducts himself with equal ease,
+self-possession, and discernment, but the flavour of the metropolitan
+style is wanting.
+
+I have been led to make these remarks by what I noticed in the guests
+whom I met on Friday at young Argent's. It was a small party, only five
+strangers; but they seemed to be all particular friends of our host, and
+yet none of them appeared to be on any terms of intimacy with each other.
+In Edinburgh, such a party would have been at first a little cold; each
+of the guests would there have paused to estimate the characters of the
+several strangers before committing himself with any topic of
+conversation. But here, the circumstance of being brought together by a
+mutual friend, produced at once the purest gentlemanly confidence; each,
+as it were, took it for granted, that the persons whom he had come among
+were men of education and good-breeding, and, without deeming it at all
+necessary that he should know something of their respective political and
+philosophical principles, before venturing to speak on such subjects,
+discussed frankly, and as things unconnected with party feelings,
+incidental occurrences which, in Edinburgh, would have been avoided as
+calculated to awaken animosities.
+
+But the most remarkable feature of the company, small as it was,
+consisted of the difference in the condition and character of the guests.
+In Edinburgh the landlord, with the scrupulous care of a herald or
+genealogist, would, for a party, previously unacquainted with each other,
+have chosen his guests as nearly as possible from the same rank of life;
+the London host had paid no respect to any such consideration--all the
+strangers were as dissimilar in fortune, profession, connections, and
+politics, as any four men in the class of gentlemen could well be. I
+never spent a more delightful evening.
+
+The ablest, the most eloquent, and the most elegant man present, without
+question, was the son of a saddler. No expense had been spared on his
+education. His father, proud of his talents, had intended him for a seat
+in Parliament; but Mr. T--- himself prefers the easy enjoyments of
+private life, and has kept himself aloof from politics and parties. Were
+I to form an estimate of his qualifications to excel in public speaking,
+by the clearness and beautiful propriety of his colloquial language, I
+should conclude that he was still destined to perform a distinguished
+part. But he is content with the liberty of a private station, as a
+spectator only, and, perhaps, in that he shows his wisdom; for
+undoubtedly such men are not cordially received among hereditary
+statesmen, unless they evince a certain suppleness of principle, such as
+we have seen in the conduct of more than one political adventurer.
+
+The next in point of effect was young C--- G---. He evidently languished
+under the influence of indisposition, which, while it added to the
+natural gentleness of his manners, diminished the impression his
+accomplishments would otherwise have made. I was greatly struck with the
+modesty with which he offered his opinions, and could scarcely credit
+that he was the same individual whose eloquence in Parliament is by many
+compared even to Mr. Canning's, and whose firmness of principle is so
+universally acknowledged, that no one ever suspects him of being liable
+to change. You may have heard of his poem "On the Restoration of
+Learning in the East," the most magnificent prize essay that the English
+Universities have produced for many years. The passage in which he
+describes the talents, the researches, and learning of Sir William Jones,
+is worthy of the imagination of Burke; and yet, with all this oriental
+splendour of fancy, he has the reputation of being a patient and
+methodical man of business. He looks, however, much more like a poet or
+a student, than an orator and a statesman; and were statesmen the sort of
+personages which the spirit of the age attempts to represent them, I, for
+one, should lament that a young man, possessed of so many amiable
+qualities, all so tinted with the bright lights of a fine enthusiasm,
+should ever have been removed from the moon-lighted groves and peaceful
+cloisters of Magdalen College, to the lamp-smelling passages and factious
+debates of St. Stephen's Chapel. Mr. G--- certainly belongs to that high
+class of gifted men who, to the honour of the age, have redeemed the
+literary character from the charge of unfitness for the concerns of
+public business; and he has shown that talents for affairs of state,
+connected with literary predilections, are not limited to mere reviewers,
+as some of your old class-fellows would have the world to believe. When
+I contrast the quiet unobtrusive development of Mr. G---'s character with
+that bustling and obstreperous elbowing into notice of some of those to
+whom the _Edinburgh Review_ owes half its fame, and compare the pure and
+steady lustre of his elevation, to the rocket-like aberrations and
+perturbed blaze of their still uncertain course, I cannot but think that
+we have overrated, if not their ability, at least their wisdom in the
+management of public affairs.
+
+The third of the party was a little Yorkshire baronet. He was formerly
+in Parliament, but left it, as he says, on account of its irregularities,
+and the bad hours it kept. He is a Whig, I understand, in politics, and
+indeed one might guess as much by looking at him; for I have always
+remarked, that your Whigs have something odd and particular about them.
+On making the same sort of remark to Argent, who, by the way, is a high
+ministerial man, he observed, the thing was not to be wondered at,
+considering that the Whigs are exceptions to the generality of mankind,
+which naturally accounts for their being always in the minority. Mr.
+T---, the saddler's son, who overheard us, said slyly, "That it might be
+so; but if it be true that the wise are few compared to the multitude of
+the foolish, things would be better managed by the minority than as they
+are at present."
+
+The fourth guest was a stock-broker, a shrewd compound, with all charity
+be it spoken, of knavery and humour. He is by profession an epicure, but
+I suspect his accomplishments in that capacity are not very well founded;
+I would almost say, judging by the evident traces of craft and
+dissimulation in his physiognomy, that they have been assumed as part of
+the means of getting into good company, to drive the more earnest trade
+of money-making. Argent evidently understood his true character, though
+he treated him with jocular familiarity. I thought it a fine example of
+the intellectual tact and superiority of T---, that he seemed to view him
+with dislike and contempt. But I must not give you my reasons for so
+thinking, as you set no value on my own particular philosophy; besides,
+my paper tells me, that I have only room left to say, that it would be
+difficult in Edinburgh to bring such a party together; and yet they
+affect there to have a metropolitan character. In saying this, I mean
+only with reference to manners; the methods of behaviour in each of the
+company were precisely similar--there was no eccentricity, but only that
+distinct and decided individuality which nature gives, and which no
+acquired habits can change. Each, however, was the representative of a
+class; and Edinburgh has no classes exactly of the same kind as those to
+which they belonged.--Yours truly,
+
+ ANDREW PRINGLE.
+
+Just as Mr. Snodgrass concluded the last sentence, one of the Clyde
+skippers, who had fallen asleep, gave such an extravagant snore, followed
+by a groan, that it set the whole company a-laughing, and interrupted the
+critical strictures which would otherwise have been made on Mr. Andrew
+Pringle's epistle. "Damn it," said he, "I thought myself in a fog, and
+could not tell whether the land ahead was Plada or the Lady Isle." Some
+of the company thought the observation not inapplicable to what they had
+been hearing.
+
+Miss Isabella Tod then begged that Miss Mally, their hostess, would
+favour the company with Mrs. Pringle's communication. To this request
+that considerate maiden ornament of the Kirkgate deemed it necessary, by
+way of preface to the letter, to say, "Ye a' ken that Mrs. Pringle's a
+managing woman, and ye maunna expect any metaphysical philosophy from
+her." In the meantime, having taken the letter from her pocket, and
+placed her spectacles on that functionary of the face which was destined
+to wear spectacles, she began as follows:--
+
+
+
+LETTER XI
+
+
+ _Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn_
+
+MY DEAR MISS MALLY--We have been at the counting-house, and gotten a sort
+of a satisfaction; what the upshot may be, I canna take it upon myself to
+prognosticate; but when the waur comes to the worst, I think that baith
+Rachel and Andrew will have a nest egg, and the Doctor and me may sleep
+sound on their account, if the nation doesna break, as the argle-barglers
+in the House of Parliament have been threatening: for all the cornal's
+fortune is sunk at present in the pesents. Howsomever, it's our notion,
+when the legacies are paid off, to lift the money out of the funds, and
+place it at good interest on hairetable securitie. But ye will hear
+aften from us, before things come to that, for the delays, and the
+goings, and the comings in this town of London are past all expreshon.
+
+As yet, we have been to see no fairlies, except going in a coach from one
+part of the toun to another; but the Doctor and me was at the he-kirk of
+Saint Paul's for a purpose that I need not tell you, as it was adoing
+with the right hand what the left should not know. I couldna say that I
+had there great pleasure, for the preacher was very cauldrife, and read
+every word, and then there was such a beggary of popish prelacy, that it
+was compassionate to a Christian to see.
+
+We are to dine at Mr. Argent's, the cornal's hadgint, on Sunday, and me
+and Rachel have been getting something for the okasion. Our landlady,
+Mrs. Sharkly, has recommended us to ane of the most fashionable
+millinders in London, who keeps a grand shop in Cranburn Alla, and she
+has brought us arteecles to look at; but I was surprised they were not
+finer, for I thought them of a very inferior quality, which she said was
+because they were not made for no costomer, but for the public.
+
+The Argents seem as if they would be discreet people, which, to us who
+are here in the jaws of jeopardy, would be a great confort--for I am no
+overly satisfeet with many things. What would ye think of buying coals
+by the stimpert, for anything that I know, and then setting up the poker
+afore the ribs, instead of blowing with the bellies to make the fire
+burn? I was of a pinion that the Englishers were naturally masterful;
+but I can ashure you this is no the case at all--and I am beginning to
+think that the way of leeving from hand to mouth is great frugality, when
+ye consider that all is left in the logive hands of uncercumseezed
+servans.
+
+But what gives me the most concern at this time is one Captain Sabre of
+the Dragoon Hozars, who come up in the smak with us from Leith, and is
+looking more after our Rachel than I could wish, now that she might set
+her cap to another sort of object. But he's of a respectit family, and
+the young lad himself is no to be despisid; howsomever, I never likit
+officir-men of any description, and yet the thing that makes me look down
+on the captain is all owing to the cornal, who was an officer of the
+native poors of India, where the pay must indeed have been extraordinar,
+for who ever heard either of a cornal, or any officer whomsoever, making
+a hundred thousand pounds in our regiments? no that I say the cornal has
+left so meikle to us.
+
+Tell Mrs. Glibbans that I have not heard of no sound preacher as yet in
+London--the want of which is no doubt the great cause of the crying sins
+of the place. What would she think to hear of newspapers selling by tout
+of horn on the Lord's day? and on the Sabbath night, the change-houses
+are more throng than on the Saturday! I am told, but as yet I cannot say
+that I have seen the evil myself with my own eyes, that in the summer
+time there are tea-gardens, where the tradesmen go to smoke their pipes
+of tobacco, and to entertain their wives and children, which can be
+nothing less than a bringing of them to an untimely end. But you will be
+surprised to hear, that no such thing as whusky is to be had in the
+public-houses, where they drink only a dead sort of beer; and that a
+bottle of true jennyinn London porter is rarely to be seen in the whole
+town--all kinds of piple getting their porter in pewter cans, and a
+laddie calls for in the morning to take away what has been yoused over
+night. But what I most miss is the want of creem. The milk here is just
+skimm, and I doot not, likewise well watered--as for the water, a drink
+of clear wholesome good water is not within the bounds of London; and
+truly, now may I say, that I have learnt what the blessing of a cup of
+cold water is.
+
+Tell Miss Nanny Eydent, that the day of the burial is now settled, when
+we are going to Windsor Castle to see the precesson--and that, by the end
+of the wick, she may expect the fashions from me, with all the
+particulars. Till then, I am, my dear Miss Mally, your friend and
+well-wisher,
+
+ JANET PRINGLE.
+
+_Noto Beny_.--Give my kind compliments to Mrs. Glibbans, and let her
+know, that I will, after Sunday, give her an account of the state of the
+Gospel in London.
+
+ * * * * *
+
+Miss Mally paused when she had read the letter, and it was unanimously
+agreed, that Mrs. Pringle gave a more full account of London than either
+father, son, or daughter.
+
+By this time the night was far advanced, and Mrs. Glibbans was rising to
+go away, apprehensive, as she observed, that they were going to bring
+"the carts" into the room. Upon Miss Mally, however, assuring her that
+no such transgression was meditated, but that she intended to treat them
+with a bit nice Highland mutton ham, and eggs, of her own laying, that
+worthy pillar of the Relief Kirk consented to remain.
+
+It was past eleven o'clock when the party broke up; Mr. Snodgrass and Mr.
+Micklewham walked home together, and as they were crossing the Red Burn
+Bridge, at the entrance of Eglintoun Wood,--a place well noted from
+ancient times for preternatural appearances, Mr. Micklewham declared that
+he thought he heard something purring among the bushes; upon which Mr.
+Snodgrass made a jocose observation, stating, that it could be nothing
+but the effect of Lord North's strong ale in his head; and we should add,
+by way of explanation, that the Lord North here spoken of was Willy
+Grieve, celebrated in Irvine for the strength and flavour of his brewing,
+and that, in addition to a plentiful supply of his best, Miss Mally had
+entertained them with tamarind punch, constituting a natural cause
+adequate to produce all the preternatural purring that terrified the
+dominie.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V--THE ROYAL FUNERAL
+
+
+Tam Glen having, in consequence of the exhortations of Mr. Micklewham,
+and the earnest entreaties of Mr. Daff, backed by the pious
+animadversions of the rigidly righteous Mr. Craig, confessed a fault, and
+acknowledged an irregular marriage with Meg Milliken, their child was
+admitted to church privileges. But before the day of baptism, Mr. Daff,
+who thought Tam had given but sullen symptoms of penitence, said, to put
+him in better humour with his fate,--"Noo, Tam, since ye hae beguiled us
+of the infare, we maun mak up for't at the christening; so I'll speak to
+Mr. Snodgrass to bid the Doctor's friens and acquaintance to the ploy,
+that we may get as meikle amang us as will pay for the bairn's baptismal
+frock."
+
+Mr. Craig, who was present, and who never lost an opportunity of
+testifying, as he said, his "discountenance of the crying iniquity,"
+remonstrated with Mr. Daff on the unchristian nature of the proposal,
+stigmatising it with good emphasis "as a sinful nourishing of carnality
+in his day and generation." Mr. Micklewham, however, interfered, and
+said, "It was a matter of weight and concernment, and therefore it
+behoves you to consult Mr. Snodgrass on the fitness of the thing. For if
+the thing itself is not fit and proper, it cannot expect his countenance;
+and, on that account, before we reckon on his compliance with what Mr.
+Daff has propounded, we should first learn whether he approves of it at
+all." Whereupon the two elders and the session-clerk adjourned to the
+manse, in which Mr. Snodgrass, during the absence of the incumbent, had
+taken up his abode.
+
+The heads of the previous conversation were recapitulated by Mr.
+Micklewham, with as much brevity as was consistent with perspicuity; and
+the matter being duly digested by Mr. Snodgrass, that orthodox young
+man--as Mrs. Glibbans denominated him, on hearing him for the first
+time--declared that the notion of a pay-christening was a benevolent and
+kind thought: "For, is not the order to increase and multiply one of the
+first commands in the Scriptures of truth?" said Mr. Snodgrass,
+addressing himself to Mr. Craig. "Surely, then, when children are
+brought into the world, a great law of our nature has been fulfilled, and
+there is cause for rejoicing and gladness! And is it not an obligation
+imposed upon all Christians, to welcome the stranger, and to feed the
+hungry, and to clothe the naked; and what greater stranger can there be
+than a helpless babe? Who more in need of sustenance than the infant,
+that knows not the way even to its mother's bosom? And whom shall we
+clothe, if we do not the wailing innocent, that the hand of Providence
+places in poverty and nakedness before us, to try, as it were, the depth
+of our Christian principles, and to awaken the sympathy of our humane
+feelings?"
+
+Mr. Craig replied, "It's a' very true and sound what Mr. Snodgrass has
+observed; but Tam Glen's wean is neither a stranger, nor hungry, nor
+naked, but a sturdy brat, that has been rinning its lane for mair than
+sax weeks." "Ah!" said Mr. Snodgrass familiarly, "I fear, Mr. Craig,
+ye're a Malthusian in your heart." The sanctimonious elder was
+thunderstruck at the word. Of many a various shade and modification of
+sectarianism he had heard, but the Malthusian heresy was new to his ears,
+and awful to his conscience, and he begged Mr. Snodgrass to tell him in
+what it chiefly consisted, protesting his innocence of that, and of every
+erroneous doctrine.
+
+Mr. Snodgrass happened to regard the opinions of Malthus on Population as
+equally contrary to religion and nature, and not at all founded in truth.
+"It is evident, that the reproductive principle in the earth and
+vegetables, and all things and animals which constitute the means of
+subsistence, is much more vigorous than in man. It may be therefore
+affirmed, that the multiplication of the means of subsistence is an
+effect of the multiplication of population, for the one is augmented in
+quantity, by the skill and care of the other," said Mr. Snodgrass,
+seizing with avidity this opportunity of stating what he thought on the
+subject, although his auditors were but the session-clerk, and two elders
+of a country parish. We cannot pursue the train of his argument, but we
+should do injustice to the philosophy of Malthus, if we suppressed the
+observation which Mr. Daff made at the conclusion. "Gude safe's!" said
+the good-natured elder, "if it's true that we breed faster than the Lord
+provides for us, we maun drown the poor folks' weans like kittlings."
+"Na, na!" exclaimed Mr. Craig, "ye're a' out, neighbour; I see now the
+utility of church-censures." "True!" said Mr. Micklewham; "and the
+ordination of the stool of repentance, the horrors of which, in the
+opinion of the fifteen Lords at Edinburgh, palliated child-murder, is
+doubtless a Malthusian institution." But Mr. Snodgrass put an end to the
+controversy, by fixing a day for the christening, and telling he would do
+his best to procure a good collection, according to the benevolent
+suggestion of Mr. Daff. To this cause we are indebted for the next
+series of the Pringle correspondence; for, on the day appointed, Miss
+Mally Glencairn, Miss Isabella Tod, Mrs. Glibbans and her daughter Becky,
+with Miss Nanny Eydent, together with other friends of the minister's
+family, dined at the manse, and the conversation being chiefly about the
+concerns of the family, the letters were produced and read.
+
+
+
+LETTER XII
+
+
+ _Andrew Pringle_, _Esq._, _to the Rev. Charles Snodgrass_
+ WINDSOR, CASTLE-INN.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND--I have all my life been strangely susceptible of pleasing
+impressions from public spectacles where great crowds are assembled.
+This, perhaps, you will say, is but another way of confessing, that, like
+the common vulgar, I am fond of sights and shows. It may be so, but it
+is not from the pageants that I derive my enjoyment. A multitude, in
+fact, is to me as it were a strain of music, which, with an irresistible
+and magical influence, calls up from the unknown abyss of the feelings
+new combinations of fancy, which, though vague and obscure, as those
+nebulae of light that astronomers have supposed to be the rudiments of
+unformed stars, afterwards become distinct and brilliant acquisitions.
+In a crowd, I am like the somnambulist in the highest degree of the
+luminous crisis, when it is said a new world is unfolded to his
+contemplation, wherein all things have an intimate affinity with the
+state of man, and yet bear no resemblance to the objects that address
+themselves to his corporeal faculties. This delightful experience, as it
+may be called, I have enjoyed this evening, to an exquisite degree, at
+the funeral of the king; but, although the whole succession of incidents
+is indelibly imprinted on my recollection, I am still so much affected by
+the emotion excited, as to be incapable of conveying to you any
+intelligible description of what I saw. It was indeed a scene witnessed
+through the medium of the feelings, and the effect partakes of the nature
+of a dream.
+
+I was within the walls of an ancient castle,
+
+ "So old as if they had for ever stood,
+ So strong as if they would for ever stand,"
+
+and it was almost midnight. The towers, like the vast spectres of
+departed ages, raised their embattled heads to the skies, monumental
+witnesses of the strength and antiquity of a great monarchy. A
+prodigious multitude filled the courts of that venerable edifice,
+surrounding on all sides a dark embossed structure, the sarcophagus, as
+it seemed to me at the moment, of the heroism of chivalry.
+
+"A change came o'er the spirit of my dream," and I beheld the scene
+suddenly illuminated, and the blaze of torches, the glimmering of arms,
+and warriors and horses, while a mosaic of human faces covered like a
+pavement the courts. A deep low under sound pealed from a distance; in
+the same moment, a trumpet answered with a single mournful note from the
+stateliest and darkest portion of the fabric, and it was whispered in
+every ear, "It is coming." Then an awful cadence of solemn music, that
+affected the heart like silence, was heard at intervals, and a numerous
+retinue of grave and venerable men,
+
+ "The fathers of their time,
+ Those mighty master spirits, that withstood
+ The fall of monarchies, and high upheld
+ Their country's standard, glorious in the storm,"
+
+passed slowly before me, bearing the emblems and trophies of a king.
+They were as a series of great historical events, and I beheld behind
+them, following and followed, an awful and indistinct image, like the
+vision of Job. It moved on, and I could not discern the form thereof,
+but there were honours and heraldries, and sorrow, and silence, and I
+heard the stir of a profound homage performing within the breasts of all
+the witnesses. But I must not indulge myself farther on this subject. I
+cannot hope to excite in you the emotions with which I was so profoundly
+affected. In the visible objects of the funeral of George the Third
+there was but little magnificence; all its sublimity was derived from the
+trains of thought and currents of feeling, which the sight of so many
+illustrious characters, surrounded by circumstances associated with the
+greatness and antiquity of the kingdom, was necessarily calculated to
+call forth. In this respect, however, it was perhaps the sublimest
+spectacle ever witnessed in this island; and I am sure, that I cannot
+live so long as ever again to behold another, that will equally interest
+me to the same depth and extent.--Yours,
+
+ ANDREW PRINGLE.
+
+We should ill perform the part of faithful historians, did we omit to
+record the sentiments expressed by the company on this occasion. Mrs.
+Glibbans, whose knowledge of the points of orthodoxy had not their equal
+in the three adjacent parishes, roundly declared, that Mr. Andrew
+Pringle's letter was nothing but a peesemeal of clishmaclavers; that
+there was no sense in it; and that it was just like the writer, a canary
+idiot, a touch here and a touch there, without anything in the shape of
+cordiality or satisfaction.
+
+Miss Isabella Tod answered this objection with that sweetness of manner
+and virgin diffidence, which so well becomes a youthful member of the
+establishment, controverting the dogmas of a stoop of the Relief
+persuasion, by saying, that she thought Mr. Andrew had shown a fine
+sensibility. "What is sensibility without judgment," cried her
+adversary, "but a thrashing in the water, and a raising of bells?
+Couldna the fallow, without a' his parleyvoos, have said, that such and
+such was the case, and that the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh
+away?--but his clouds, and his spectres, and his visions of Job!--Oh, an
+he could but think like Job!--Oh, an he would but think like the patient
+man!--and was obliged to claut his flesh with a bit of a broken crock, we
+might have some hope of repentance unto life. But Andrew Pringle, he's a
+gone dick; I never had comfort or expectation of the free-thinker, since
+I heard that he was infected with the blue and yellow calamity of the
+_Edinburgh Review_; in which, I am credibly told, it is set forth, that
+women have nae souls, but only a gut, and a gaw, and a gizzard, like a
+pigeon-dove, or a raven-crow, or any other outcast and abominated
+quadruped."
+
+Here Miss Mally Glencairn interposed her effectual mediation, and said,
+"It is very true that Andrew deals in the diplomatics of obscurity; but
+it's well known that he has a nerve for genius, and that, in his own way,
+he kens the loan from the crown of the causeway, as well as the duck does
+the midden from the adle dib." To this proverb, which we never heard
+before, a learned friend, whom we consulted on the subject, has enabled
+us to state, that middens were formerly of great magnitude, and often of
+no less antiquity in the west of Scotland; in so much, that the Trongate
+of Glasgow owes all its spacious grandeur to them. It being within the
+recollection of persons yet living, that the said magnificent street was
+at one time an open road, or highway, leading to the Trone, or
+market-cross, with thatched houses on each side, such as may still be
+seen in the pure and immaculate royal borough of Rutherglen; and that
+before each house stood a luxuriant midden, by the removal of which, in
+the progress of modern degeneracy, the stately architecture of Argyle
+Street was formed. But not to insist at too great a length on such
+topics of antiquarian lore, we shall now insert Dr. Pringle's account of
+the funeral, and which, patly enough, follows our digression concerning
+the middens and magnificence of Glasgow, as it contains an authentic
+anecdote of a manufacturer from that city, drinking champaign at the
+king's dirgie.
+
+
+
+LETTER XIII
+
+
+ _The Rev. Z. Pringle_, _D.D._, _to Mr. Micklewham_, _Schoolmaster and
+ Session-Clerk of Garnock_
+ LONDON.
+
+DEAR SIR--I have received your letter, and it is a great pleasure to me
+to hear that my people were all so much concerned at our distress in the
+Leith smack; but what gave me the most contentment was the repentance of
+Tam Glen. I hope, poor fellow, he will prove a good husband; but I have
+my doubts; for the wife has really but a small share of common sense, and
+no married man can do well unless his wife will let him. I am, however,
+not overly pleased with Mr. Craig on the occasion, for he should have
+considered frail human nature, and accepted of poor Tam's confession of a
+fault, and allowed the bairn to be baptized without any more ado. I
+think honest Mr. Daff has acted like himself, and I trust and hope there
+will be a great gathering at the christening, and, that my mite may not
+be wanting, you will slip in a guinea note when the dish goes round, but
+in such a manner, that it may not be jealoused from whose hand it comes.
+
+Since my last letter, we have been very thrang in the way of seeing the
+curiosities of London; but I must go on regular, and tell you all, which,
+I think, it is my duty to do, that you may let my people know. First,
+then, we have been at Windsor Castle, to see the king lying in state,
+and, afterwards, his interment; and sorry am I to say, it was not a sight
+that could satisfy any godly mind on such an occasion. We went in a
+coach of our own, by ourselves, and found the town of Windsor like a
+cried fair. We were then directed to the Castle gate, where a terrible
+crowd was gathered together; and we had not been long in that crowd, till
+a pocket-picker, as I thought, cutted off the tail of my coat, with my
+pocket-book in my pocket, which I never missed at the time. But it seems
+the coat tail was found, and a policeman got it, and held it up on the
+end of his stick, and cried, whose pocket is this? showing the book that
+was therein in his hand. I was confounded to see my pocket-book there,
+and could scarcely believe my own eyes; but Mrs. Pringle knew it at the
+first glance, and said, "It's my gudeman's"; at the which, there was a
+great shout of derision among the multitude, and we would baith have then
+been glad to disown the pocket-book, but it was returned to us, I may
+almost say, against our will; but the scorners, when they saw our
+confusion, behaved with great civility towards us, so that we got into
+the Castle-yard with no other damage than the loss of the flap of my coat
+tail.
+
+Being in the Castle-yard, we followed the crowd into another gate, and up
+a stair, and saw the king lying in state, which was a very dismal
+sight--and I thought of Solomon in all his glory, when I saw the coffin,
+and the mutes, and the mourners; and reflecting on the long infirmity of
+mind of the good old king, I said to myself, in the words of the book of
+Job, 'Doth not their excellency which is in them go away? they die even
+without wisdom!'
+
+When we had seen the sight, we came out of the Castle, and went to an inn
+to get a chack of dinner; but there was such a crowd, that no
+resting-place could for a time be found for us. Gentle and semple were
+there, all mingled, and no respect of persons; only there was, at a table
+nigh unto ours, a fat Glasgow manufacturer, who ordered a bottle of
+champaign wine, and did all he could in the drinking of it by himself, to
+show that he was a man in well-doing circumstances. While he was talking
+over his wine, a great peer of the realm, with a star on his breast, came
+into the room, and ordered a glass of brandy and water; and I could see,
+when he saw the Glasgow manufacturer drinking champaign wine on that
+occasion, that he greatly marvelled thereat.
+
+When we had taken our dinner, we went out to walk and see the town of
+Windsor; but there was such a mob of coaches going and coming, and men
+and horses, that we left the streets, and went to inspect the king's
+policy, which is of great compass, but in a careless order, though it
+costs a world of money to keep it up. Afterwards, we went back to the
+inns, to get tea for Mrs. Pringle and her daughter, while Andrew Pringle,
+my son, was seeing if he could get tickets to buy, to let us into the
+inside of the Castle, to see the burial--but he came back without luck,
+and I went out myself, being more experienced in the world, and I saw a
+gentleman's servant with a ticket in his hand, and I asked him to sell it
+to me, which the man did with thankfulness, for five shillings, although
+the price was said to be golden guineas. But as this ticket admitted
+only one person, it was hard to say what should be done with it when I
+got back to my family. However, as by this time we were all very much
+fatigued, I gave it to Andrew Pringle, my son, and Mrs. Pringle, and her
+daughter Rachel, agreed to bide with me in the inns.
+
+Andrew Pringle, my son, having got the ticket, left us sitting, when
+shortly after in came a nobleman, high in the cabinet, as I think he must
+have been, and he having politely asked leave to take his tea at our
+table, because of the great throng in the house, we fell into a
+conversation together, and he, understanding thereby that I was a
+minister of the Church of Scotland, said he thought he could help us into
+a place to see the funeral; so, after he had drank his tea, he took us
+with him, and got us into the Castle-yard, where we had an excellent
+place, near to the Glasgow manufacturer that drank the champaign. The
+drink by this time, however, had got into that poor man's head, and he
+talked so loud, and so little to the purpose, that the soldiers who were
+guarding were obliged to make him hold his peace, at which he was not a
+little nettled, and told the soldiers that he had himself been a soldier,
+and served the king without pay, having been a volunteer officer. But
+this had no more effect than to make the soldiers laugh at him, which was
+not a decent thing at the interment of their master, our most gracious
+Sovereign that was.
+
+However, in this situation we saw all; and I can assure you it was a very
+edifying sight; and the people demeaned themselves with so much
+propriety, that there was no need for any guards at all; indeed, for that
+matter, of the two, the guards, who had eaten the king's bread, were the
+only ones there, saving and excepting the Glasgow manufacturer, that
+manifested an irreverent spirit towards the royal obsequies. But they
+are men familiar with the king of terrors on the field of battle, and it
+was not to be expected that their hearts would be daunted like those of
+others by a doing of a civil character.
+
+When all was over, we returned to the inns, to get our chaise, to go back
+to London that night, for beds were not to be had for love or money at
+Windsor, and we reached our temporary home in Norfolk Street about four
+o'clock in the morning, well satisfied with what we had seen,--but all
+the meantime I had forgotten the loss of the flap of my coat, which
+caused no little sport when I came to recollect what a pookit like body I
+must have been, walking about in the king's policy like a peacock without
+my tail. But I must conclude, for Mrs. Pringle has a letter to put in
+the frank for Miss Nanny Eydent, which you will send to her by one of
+your scholars, as it contains information that may be serviceable to Miss
+Nanny in her business, both as a mantua-maker and a superintendent of the
+genteeler sort of burials at Irvine and our vicinity. So that this is
+all from your friend and pastor,
+
+ ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
+
+"I think," said Miss Isabella Tod, as Mr. Micklewham finished the reading
+of the Doctor's epistle, "that my friend Rachel might have given me some
+account of the ceremony; but Captain Sabre seems to have been a much more
+interesting object to her than the pride and pomp to her brother, or even
+the Glasgow manufacturer to her father." In saying these words, the
+young lady took the following letter from her pocket, and was on the
+point of beginning to read it, when Miss Becky Glibbans exclaimed, "I had
+aye my fears that Rachel was but light-headed, and I'll no be surprised
+to hear more about her and the dragoon or a's done." Mr. Snodgrass
+looked at Becky, as if he had been afflicted at the moment with
+unpleasant ideas; and perhaps he would have rebuked the spitefulness of
+her insinuations, had not her mother sharply snubbed the uncongenial
+maiden, in terms at least as pungent as any which the reverend gentleman
+would have employed. "I'm sure," replied Miss Becky, pertly, "I meant no
+ill; but if Rachel Pringle can write about nothing but this Captain
+Sabre, she might as well let it alone, and her letter canna be worth the
+hearing." "Upon that," said the clergyman, "we can form a judgment when
+we have heard it, and I beg that Miss Isabella may proceed,"--which she
+did accordingly.
+
+
+
+LETTER XIV
+
+
+ _Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella Tod_
+ LONDON.
+
+MY DEAR BELL--I take up my pen with a feeling of disappointment such as I
+never felt before. Yesterday was the day appointed for the funeral of
+the good old king, and it was agreed that we should go to Windsor, to
+pour the tribute of our tears upon the royal hearse. Captain Sabre
+promised to go with us, as he is well acquainted with the town, and the
+interesting objects around the Castle, so dear to chivalry, and embalmed
+by the genius of Shakespeare and many a minor bard, and I promised myself
+a day of unclouded felicity--but the captain was ordered to be on
+duty,--and the crowd was so rude and riotous, that I had no enjoyment
+whatever; but, pining with chagrin at the little respect paid by the
+rabble to the virtues of the departed monarch, I would fainly have
+retired into some solemn and sequestered grove, and breathed my sorrows
+to the listening waste. Nor was the loss of the captain, to explain and
+illuminate the different baronial circumstances around the Castle, the
+only thing I had to regret in this ever-memorable excursion--my tender
+and affectionate mother was so desirous to see everything in the most
+particular manner, in order that she might give an account of the funeral
+to Nanny Eydent, that she had no mercy either upon me or my father, but
+obliged us to go with her to the most difficult and inaccessible places.
+How vain was all this meritorious assiduity! for of what avail can the
+ceremonies of a royal funeral be to Miss Nanny, at Irvine, where kings
+never die, and where, if they did, it is not at all probable that Miss
+Nanny would be employed to direct their solemn obsequies? As for my
+brother, he was so entranced with his own enthusiasm, that he paid but
+little attention to us, which made me the more sensible of the want we
+suffered from the absence of Captain Sabre. In a word, my dear Bell,
+never did I pass a more unsatisfactory day, and I wish it blotted for
+ever from my remembrance. Let it therefore be consigned to the abysses
+of oblivion, while I recall the more pleasing incidents that have
+happened since I wrote you last.
+
+On Sunday, according to invitation, as I told you, we dined with the
+Argents--and were entertained by them in a style at once most splendid,
+and on the most easy footing. I shall not attempt to describe the
+consumable materials of the table, but call your attention, my dear
+friend, to the intellectual portion of the entertainment, a subject much
+more congenial to your delicate and refined character.
+
+Mrs. Argent is a lady of considerable personal magnitude, of an open and
+affable disposition. In this respect, indeed, she bears a striking
+resemblance to her nephew, Captain Sabre, with whose relationship to her
+we were unacquainted before that day. She received us as friends in whom
+she felt a peculiar interest; for when she heard that my mother had got
+her dress and mine from Cranbury Alley, she expressed the greatest
+astonishment, and told us, that it was not at all a place where persons
+of fashion could expect to be properly served. Nor can I disguise the
+fact, that the flounced and gorgeous garniture of our dresses was in
+shocking contrast to the amiable simplicity of hers and the fair
+Arabella, her daughter, a charming girl, who, notwithstanding the
+fashionable splendour in which she has been educated, displays a
+delightful sprightliness of manner, that, I have some notion, has not
+been altogether lost on the heart of my brother.
+
+When we returned upstairs to the drawing-room, after dinner, Miss
+Arabella took her harp, and was on the point of favouring us with a
+Mozart; but her mother, recollecting that we were Presbyterians, thought
+it might not be agreeable, and she desisted, which I was sinful enough to
+regret; but my mother was so evidently alarmed at the idea of playing on
+the harp on a Sunday night, that I suppressed my own wishes, in filial
+veneration for those of that respected parent. Indeed, fortunate it was
+that the music was not performed; for, when we returned home, my father
+remarked with great solemnity, that such a way of passing the Lord's
+night as we had passed it, would have been a great sin in Scotland.
+
+Captain Sabre, who called on us next morning, was so delighted when he
+understood that we were acquainted with his aunt, that he lamented he had
+not happened to know it before, as he would, in that case, have met us
+there. He is indeed very attentive, but I assure you that I feel no
+particular interest about him; for although he is certainly a very
+handsome young man, he is not such a genius as my brother, and has no
+literary partialities. But literary accomplishments are, you know,
+foreign to the military profession, and if the captain has not
+distinguished himself by cutting up authors in the reviews, he has
+acquired an honourable medal, by overcoming the enemies of the civilised
+world at Waterloo.
+
+To-night the playhouses open again, and we are going to the Oratorio, and
+the captain goes with us, a circumstance which I am the more pleased at,
+as we are strangers, and he will tell us the names of the performers. My
+father made some scruple of consenting to be of the party; but when he
+heard that an Oratorio was a concert of sacred music, he thought it would
+be only a sinless deviation if he did, so he goes likewise. The captain,
+therefore, takes an early dinner with us at five o'clock. Alas! to what
+changes am I doomed,--that was the tea hour at the manse of Garnock. Oh,
+when shall I revisit the primitive simplicities of my native scenes
+again! But neither time nor distance, my dear Bell, can change the
+affection with which I subscribe myself, ever affectionately, yours,
+
+ RACHEL PRINGLE.
+
+At the conclusion of this letter, the countenance of Mrs. Glibbans was
+evidently so darkened, that it daunted the company, like an eclipse of
+the sun, when all nature is saddened. "What think you, Mr. Snodgrass,"
+said that spirit-stricken lady,--"what think you of this dining on the
+Lord's day,--this playing on the harp; the carnal Mozarting of that
+ungodly family, with whom the corrupt human nature of our friends has
+been chambering?" Mr. Snodgrass was at some loss for an answer, and
+hesitated, but Miss Mally Glencairn relieved him from his embarrassment,
+by remarking, that "the harp was a holy instrument," which somewhat
+troubled the settled orthodoxy of Mrs. Glibbans's visage. "Had it been
+an organ," said Mr. Snodgrass, dryly, "there might have been, perhaps,
+more reason to doubt; but, as Miss Mally justly remarks, the harp has
+been used from the days of King David in the performances of sacred
+music, together with the psalter, the timbrel, the sackbut, and the
+cymbal." The wrath of the polemical Deborah of the Relief-Kirk was
+somewhat appeased by this explanation, and she inquired in a more
+diffident tone, whether a Mozart was not a metrical paraphrase of the
+song of Moses after the overthrow of the Egyptians in the Red Sea; "in
+which case, I must own," she observed, "that the sin and guilt of the
+thing is less grievous in the sight of HIM before whom all the actions of
+men are abominations." Miss Isabella Tod, availing herself of this break
+in the conversation, turned round to Miss Nanny Eydent, and begged that
+she would read her letter from Mrs. Pringle. We should do injustice,
+however, to honest worth and patient industry were we, in thus
+introducing Miss Nanny to our readers, not to give them some account of
+her lowly and virtuous character.
+
+Miss Nanny was the eldest of three sisters, the daughters of a
+shipmaster, who was lost at sea when they were very young; and his all
+having perished with him, they were indeed, as their mother said, the
+children of Poverty and Sorrow. By the help of a little credit, the
+widow contrived, in a small shop, to eke out her days till Nanny was able
+to assist her. It was the intention of the poor woman to take up a
+girl's school for reading and knitting, and Nanny was destined to
+instruct the pupils in that higher branch of accomplishment--the
+different stitches of the sampler. But about the time that Nanny was
+advancing to the requisite degree of perfection in chain-steek and
+pie-holes--indeed had made some progress in the Lord's prayer between two
+yew trees--tambouring was introduced at Irvine, and Nanny was sent to
+acquire a competent knowledge of that classic art, honoured by the fair
+hands of the beautiful Helen and the chaste and domestic Andromache. In
+this she instructed her sisters; and such was the fruit of their
+application and constant industry, that her mother abandoned the design
+of keeping school, and continued to ply her little huxtry in more easy
+circumstances. The fluctuations of trade in time taught them that it
+would not be wise to trust to the loom, and accordingly Nanny was at some
+pains to learn mantua-making; and it was fortunate that she did so--for
+the tambouring gradually went out of fashion, and the flowering which
+followed suited less the infirm constitution of poor Nanny. The making
+of gowns for ordinary occasions led to the making of mournings, and the
+making of mournings naturally often caused Nanny to be called in at
+deaths, which, in process of time, promoted her to have the management of
+burials; and in this line of business she has now a large proportion of
+the genteelest in Irvine and its vicinity; and in all her various
+engagements her behaviour has been as blameless and obliging as her
+assiduity has been uniform; insomuch, that the numerous ladies to whom
+she is known take a particular pleasure in supplying her with the newest
+patterns, and earliest information, respecting the varieties and changes
+of fashions; and to the influence of the same good feelings in the breast
+of Mrs. Pringle, Nanny was indebted for the following letter. How far
+the information which it contains may be deemed exactly suitable to the
+circumstances in which Miss Nanny's lot is cast, our readers may judge
+for themselves; but we are happy to state, that it has proved of no small
+advantage to her: for since it has been known that she had received a
+full, true, and particular account, of all manner of London fashions,
+from so managing and notable a woman as the minister's wife of Garnock,
+her consideration has been so augmented in the opinion of the
+neighbouring gentlewomen, that she is not only consulted as to funerals,
+but is often called in to assist in the decoration and arrangement of
+wedding-dinners, and other occasions of sumptuous banqueting; by which
+she is enabled, during the suspension of the flowering trade, to earn a
+lowly but a respected livelihood.
+
+
+
+LETTER XV
+
+
+ _Mrs. Pringle to Miss Nanny Eydent_, _Mantua-maker_, _Seagate Head_,
+ _Irvine_
+ LONDON.
+
+DEAR MISS NANNY--Miss Mally Glencairn would tell you all how it happent
+that I was disabled, by our misfortunes in the ship, from riting to you
+konserning the London fashons as I promist; for I wantit to be
+partikylor, and to say nothing but what I saw with my own eyes, that it
+might be servisable to you in your bizness--so now I will begin with the
+old king's burial, as you have sometimes okashon to lend a helping hand
+in that way at Irvine, and nothing could be more genteeler of the kind
+than a royal obsakew for a patron; but no living sole can give a distink
+account of this matter, for you know the old king was the father of his
+piple, and the croud was so great. Howsomever we got into our oun hired
+shaze at daylight; and when we were let out at the castel yett of
+Windsor, we went into the mob, and by and by we got within the castel
+walls, when great was the lamentation for the purdition of shawls and
+shoos, and the Doctor's coat pouch was clippit off by a pocket-picker.
+We then ran to a wicket-gate, and up an old timber-stair with a rope
+ravel, and then we got to a great pentit chamber called King George's
+Hall: After that we were allowt to go into another room full of guns and
+guards, that told us all to be silent: so then we all went like sawlies,
+holding our tongues in an awful manner, into a dysmal room hung with
+black cloth, and lighted with dum wax-candles in silver skonses, and men
+in a row all in mulancholic posters. At length and at last we came to
+the coffin; but although I was as partikylar as possoble, I could see
+nothing that I would recommend. As for the interment, there was nothing
+but even-down wastrie--wax-candles blowing away in the wind, and flunkies
+as fou as pipers, and an unreverent mob that scarsely could demean
+themselves with decency as the body was going by; only the Duke of York,
+who carrit the head, had on no hat, which I think was the newest
+identical thing in the affair: but really there was nothing that could be
+recommended. Howsomever I understood that there was no draigie, which
+was a saving; for the bread and wine for such a multitude would have been
+a destruction to a lord's living: and this is the only point that the
+fashon set in the king's feunoral may be follot in Irvine.
+
+Since the burial, we have been to see the play, where the leddies were
+all in deep murning; but excepting that some had black gum-floors on
+their heads, I saw leetil for admiration--only that bugles, I can ashure
+you, are not worn at all this season; and surely this murning must be a
+vast detrimint to bizness--for where there is no verietie, there can be
+but leetil to do in your line. But one thing I should not forget, and
+that is, that in the vera best houses, after tea and coffee after dinner,
+a cordial dram is handed about; but likewise I could observe, that the
+fruit is not set on with the cheese, as in our part of the country, but
+comes, after the cloth is drawn, with the wine; and no such a thing as a
+punch-bowl is to be heard of within the four walls of London.
+Howsomever, what I principally notised was, that the tea and coffee is
+not made by the lady of the house, but out of the room, and brought in
+without sugar or milk, on servors, every one helping himself, and only
+plain flimsy loaf and butter is served--no such thing as shortbread,
+seed-cake, bun, marmlet, or jeelly to be seen, which is an okonomical
+plan, and well worthy of adaptation in ginteel families with narrow
+incomes, in Irvine or elsewhere.
+
+But when I tell you what I am now going to say, you will not be surprizt
+at the great wealth in London. I paid for a bumbeseen gown, not a bit
+better than the one that was made by you that the sore calamity befell,
+and no so fine neither, more than three times the price; so you see, Miss
+Nanny, if you were going to pouse your fortune, you could not do better
+than pack up your ends and your awls and come to London. But ye're far
+better at home--for this is not a town for any creditable young woman
+like you, to live in by herself, and I am wearying to be back, though
+it's hard to say when the Doctor will get his counts settlet. I wish
+you, howsomever, to mind the patches for the bed-cover that I was going
+to patch, for a licht afternoon seam, as the murning for the king will no
+be so general with you, and the spring fashons will be coming on to help
+my gathering--so no more at present from your friend and well-wisher,
+
+ JANET PRINGLE.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VI--PHILOSOPHY AND RELIGION
+
+
+On Sunday morning, before going to church, Mr. Micklewham called at the
+manse, and said that he wished particularly to speak to Mr. Snodgrass.
+Upon being admitted, he found the young helper engaged at breakfast, with
+a book lying on his table, very like a volume of a new novel called
+_Ivanhoe_, in its appearance, but of course it must have been sermons
+done up in that manner to attract fashionable readers. As soon, however,
+as Mr. Snodgrass saw his visitor, he hastily removed the book, and put it
+into the table-drawer.
+
+The precentor having taken a seat at the opposite side of the fire, began
+somewhat diffidently to mention, that he had received a letter from the
+Doctor, that made him at a loss whether or not he ought to read it to the
+elders, as usual, after worship, and therefore was desirous of consulting
+Mr. Snodgrass on the subject, for it recorded, among other things, that
+the Doctor had been at the playhouse, and Mr. Micklewham was quite sure
+that Mr. Craig would be neither to bind nor to hold when he heard that,
+although the transgression was certainly mollified by the nature of the
+performance. As the clergyman, however, could offer no opinion until he
+saw the letter, the precentor took it out of his pocket, and Mr.
+Snodgrass found the contents as follows:--
+
+
+
+LETTER XVI
+
+
+ _The Rev. Z. Pringle_, _D.D._, _to Mr. Micklewham_, _Schoolmaster and
+ Session-Clerk_, _Garnock_
+ LONDON.
+
+DEAR SIR--You will recollect that, about twenty years ago, there was a
+great sound throughout all the West that a playhouse in Glasgow had been
+converted into a tabernacle of religion. I remember it was glad tidings
+to our ears in the parish of Garnock; and that Mr. Craig, who had just
+been ta'en on for an elder that fall, was for having a thanksgiving-day
+on the account thereof, holding it to be a signal manifestation of a new
+birth in the of-old-godly town of Glasgow, which had become slack in the
+way of well-doing, and the church therein lukewarm, like that of
+Laodicea. It was then said, as I well remember, that when the Tabernacle
+was opened, there had not been seen, since the Kaimslang wark, such a
+congregation as was there assembled, which was a great proof that it's
+the matter handled, and not the place, that maketh pure; so that when you
+and the elders hear that I have been at the theatre of Drury Lane, in
+London, you must not think that I was there to see a carnal stage play,
+whether tragical or comical, or that I would so far demean myself and my
+cloth, as to be a witness to the chambering and wantonness of
+ne'er-du-weel play-actors. No, Mr. Micklewham, what I went to see was an
+Oratorio, a most edifying exercise of psalmody and prayer, under the
+management of a pious gentleman, of the name of Sir George Smart, who is,
+as I am informed, at the greatest pains to instruct the exhibitioners,
+they being, for the most part, before they get into his hands, poor
+uncultivated creatures, from Italy, France, and Germany, and other
+atheistical and popish countries.
+
+They first sung a hymn together very decently, and really with as much
+civilised harmony as could be expected from novices; indeed so well, that
+I thought them almost as melodious as your own singing class of the
+trades lads from Kilwinning. Then there was one Mr. Braham, a Jewish
+proselyte, that was set forth to show us a specimen of his proficiency.
+In the praying part, what he said was no objectionable as to the matter;
+but he drawled in his manner to such a pitch, that I thought he would
+have broken out into an even-down song, as I sometimes think of yourself
+when you spin out the last word in reading out the line in a warm summer
+afternoon. In the hymn by himself, he did better; he was, however,
+sometimes like to lose the tune, but the people gave him great
+encouragement when he got back again. Upon the whole, I had no notion
+that there was any such Christianity in practice among the Londoners, and
+I am happy to tell you, that the house was very well filled, and the
+congregation wonderful attentive. No doubt that excellent man, Mr. W---,
+has a hand in these public strainings after grace, but he was not there
+that night; for I have seen him; and surely at the sight I could not but
+say to myself, that it's beyond the compass of the understanding of man
+to see what great things Providence worketh with small means, for Mr.
+W--- is a small creature. When I beheld his diminutive stature, and
+thought of what he had achieved for the poor negroes and others in the
+house of bondage, I said to myself, that here the hand of Wisdom is
+visible, for the load of perishable mortality is laid lightly on his
+spirit, by which it is enabled to clap its wings and crow so crously on
+the dunghill top of this world; yea even in the House of Parliament.
+
+I was taken last Thursday morning to breakfast with him his house at
+Kensington, by an East India man, who is likewise surely a great saint.
+It was a heart-healing meeting of many of the godly, which he holds
+weekly in the season; and we had such a warsle of the spirit among us
+that the like cannot be told. I was called upon to pray, and a worthy
+gentleman said, when I was done, that he never had met with more
+apostolic simplicity--indeed, I could see with the tail of my eye, while
+I was praying, that the chief saint himself was listening with a curious
+pleasant satisfaction.
+
+As for our doings here anent the legacy, things are going forward in the
+regular manner; but the expense is terrible, and I have been obliged to
+take up money on account; but, as it was freely given by the agents, I am
+in hopes all will end well; for, considering that we are but strangers to
+them, they would not have assisted us in this matter had they not been
+sure of the means of payment in their own hands.
+
+The people of London are surprising kind to us; we need not, if we
+thought proper ourselves, eat a dinner in our own lodgings; but it would
+ill become me, at my time of life, and with the character for sobriety
+that I have maintained, to show an example in my latter days of riotous
+living; therefore, Mrs. Pringle, and her daughter, and me, have made a
+point of going nowhere three times in the week; but as for Andrew
+Pringle, my son, he has forgathered with some acquaintance, and I fancy
+we will be obliged to let him take the length of his tether for a while.
+But not altogether without a curb neither, for the agent's son, young Mr.
+Argent, had almost persuaded him to become a member of Parliament, which
+he said he could get him made, for more than a thousand pounds less than
+the common price--the state of the new king's health having lowered the
+commodity of seats. But this I would by no means hear of; he is not yet
+come to years of discretion enough to sit in council; and, moreover, he
+has not been tried; and no man, till he has out of doors shown something
+of what he is, should be entitled to power and honour within. Mrs.
+Pringle, however, thought he might do as well as young Dunure; but Andrew
+Pringle, my son, has not the solidity of head that Mr. K---dy has, and is
+over free and outspoken, and cannot take such pains to make his little go
+a great way, like that well-behaved young gentleman. But you will be
+grieved to hear that Mr. K---dy is in opposition to the government; and
+truly I am at a loss to understand how a man of Whig principles can be an
+adversary to the House of Hanover. But I never meddled much in politick
+affairs, except at this time, when I prohibited Andrew Pringle, my son,
+from offering to be a member of Parliament, notwithstanding the great
+bargain that he would have had of the place.
+
+And since we are on public concerns, I should tell you, that I was minded
+to send you a newspaper at the second-hand, every day when we were done
+with it. But when we came to inquire, we found that we could get the
+newspaper for a shilling a week every morning but Sunday, to our
+breakfast, which was so much cheaper than buying a whole paper, that Mrs.
+Pringle thought it would be a great extravagance; and, indeed, when I
+came to think of the loss of time a newspaper every day would occasion to
+my people, I considered it would be very wrong of me to send you any at
+all. For I do think that honest folks in a far-off country parish should
+not make or meddle with the things that pertain to government,--the more
+especially, as it is well known, that there is as much falsehood as truth
+in newspapers, and they have not the means of testing their statements.
+Not, however, that I am an advocate for passive obedience; God forbid.
+On the contrary, if ever the time should come, in my day, of a
+saint-slaying tyrant attempting to bind the burden of prelatic
+abominations on our backs, such a blast of the gospel trumpet would be
+heard in Garnock, as it does not become me to say, but I leave it to you
+and others, who have experienced my capacity as a soldier of the word so
+long, to think what it would then be. Meanwhile, I remain, my dear sir,
+your friend and pastor,
+
+ Z. PRINGLE.
+
+When Mr. Snodgrass had perused this epistle, he paused some time,
+seemingly in doubt, and then he said to Mr. Micklewham, that, considering
+the view which the Doctor had taken of the matter, and that he had not
+gone to the playhouse for the motives which usually take bad people to
+such places, he thought there could be no possible harm in reading the
+letter to the elders, and that Mr. Craig, so far from being displeased,
+would doubtless be exceedingly rejoiced to learn that the playhouses of
+London were occasionally so well employed as on the night when the Doctor
+was there.
+
+Mr. Micklewham then inquired if Mr. Snodgrass had heard from Mr. Andrew,
+and was answered in the affirmative; but the letter was not read. Why it
+was withheld our readers must guess for themselves; but we have been
+fortunate enough to obtain the following copy.
+
+
+
+LETTER XVII
+
+
+ _Andrew Pringle_, _Esq._, _to the Rev. Mr. Charles Snodgrass_
+ LONDON.
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND--As the season advances, London gradually unfolds, like
+Nature, all the variety of her powers and pleasures. By the Argents we
+have been introduced effectually into society, and have now only to
+choose our acquaintance among those whom we like best. I should employ
+another word than choose, for I am convinced that there is no choice in
+the matter. In his friendships and affections, man is subject to some
+inscrutable moral law, similar in its effects to what the chemists call
+affinity. While under the blind influence of this sympathy, we,
+forsooth, suppose ourselves free agents! But a truce with philosophy.
+
+The amount of the legacy is now ascertained. The stock, however, in
+which a great part of the money is vested being shut, the transfer to my
+father cannot be made for some time; and till this is done, my mother
+cannot be persuaded that we have yet got anything to trust to--an
+unfortunate notion which renders her very unhappy. The old gentleman
+himself takes no interest now in the business. He has got his mind at
+ease by the payment of all the legacies; and having fallen in with some
+of the members of that political junto, the Saints, who are worldly
+enough to link, as often as they can, into their association, the
+powerful by wealth or talent, his whole time is occupied in assisting to
+promote their humbug; and he has absolutely taken it into his head, that
+the attention he receives from them for his subscriptions is on account
+of his eloquence as a preacher, and that hitherto he has been altogether
+in an error with respect to his own abilities. The effect of this is
+abundantly amusing; but the source of it is very evident. Like most
+people who pass a sequestered life, he had formed an exaggerated opinion
+of public characters; and on seeing them in reality so little superior to
+the generality of mankind, he imagines that he was all the time nearer to
+their level than he had ventured to suppose; and the discovery has placed
+him on the happiest terms with himself. It is impossible that I can
+respect his manifold excellent qualities and goodness of heart more than
+I do; but there is an innocency in this simplicity, which, while it often
+compels me to smile, makes me feel towards him a degree of tenderness,
+somewhat too familiar for that filial reverence that is due from a son.
+
+Perhaps, however, you will think me scarcely less under the influence of
+a similar delusion when I tell you, that I have been somehow or other
+drawn also into an association, not indeed so public or potent as that of
+the Saints, but equally persevering in the objects for which it has been
+formed. The drift of the Saints, as far as I can comprehend the matter,
+is to procure the advancement to political power of men distinguished for
+the purity of their lives, and the integrity of their conduct; and in
+that way, I presume, they expect to effect the accomplishment of that
+blessed epoch, the Millennium, when the Saints are to rule the whole
+earth. I do not mean to say that this is their decided and determined
+object; I only infer, that it is the necessary tendency of their
+proceedings; and I say it with all possible respect and sincerity, that,
+as a public party, the Saints are not only perhaps the most powerful, but
+the party which, at present, best deserves power.
+
+The association, however, with which I have happened to become connected,
+is of a very different description. Their object is, to pass through
+life with as much pleasure as they can obtain, without doing anything
+unbecoming the rank of gentlemen, and the character of men of honour. We
+do not assemble such numerous meetings as the Saints, the Whigs, or the
+Radicals, nor are our speeches delivered with so much vehemence. We
+even, I think, tacitly exclude oratory. In a word, our meetings seldom
+exceed the perfect number of the muses; and our object on these occasions
+is not so much to deliberate on plans of prospective benefits to mankind,
+as to enjoy the present time for ourselves, under the temperate
+inspiration of a well-cooked dinner, flavoured with elegant wine, and
+just so much of mind as suits the fleeting topics of the day. T---, whom
+I formerly mentioned, introduced me to this delightful society. The
+members consist of about fifty gentlemen, who dine occasionally at each
+other's houses; the company being chiefly selected from the brotherhood,
+if that term can be applied to a circle of acquaintance, who, without any
+formal institution of rules, have gradually acquired a consistency that
+approximates to organisation. But the universe of this vast city
+contains a plurality of systems; and the one into which I have been
+attracted may be described as that of the idle intellects. In general
+society, the members of our party are looked up to as men of taste and
+refinement, and are received with a degree of deference that bears some
+resemblance to the respect paid to the hereditary endowment of rank.
+They consist either of young men who have acquired distinction at
+college, or gentlemen of fortune who have a relish for intellectual
+pleasures, free from the acerbities of politics, or the dull formalities
+which so many of the pious think essential to their religious
+pretensions. The wealthy furnish the entertainments, which are always in
+a superior style, and the ingredient of birth is not requisite in the
+qualifications of a member, although some jealousy is entertained of
+professional men, and not a little of merchants. T---, to whom I am also
+indebted for this view of that circle of which he is the brightest
+ornament, gives a felicitous explanation of the reason. He says,
+professional men, who are worth anything at all, are always ambitious,
+and endeavour to make their acquaintance subservient to their own
+advancement; while merchants are liable to such casualties, that their
+friends are constantly exposed to the risk of being obliged to sink them
+below their wonted equality, by granting them favours in times of
+difficulty, or, what is worse, by refusing to grant them.
+
+I am much indebted to you for the introduction to your friend G---. He
+is one of us; or rather, he moves in an eccentric sphere of his own,
+which crosses, I believe, almost all the orbits of all the classed and
+classifiable systems of London. I found him exactly what you described;
+and we were on the frankest footing of old friends in the course of the
+first quarter of an hour. He did me the honour to fancy that I belonged,
+as a matter of course, to some one of the literary fraternities of
+Edinburgh, and that I would be curious to see the associations of the
+learned here. What he said respecting them was highly characteristic of
+the man. "They are," said he, "the dullest things possible. On my
+return from abroad, I visited them all, expecting to find something of
+that easy disengaged mind which constitutes the charm of those of France
+and Italy. But in London, among those who have a character to keep up,
+there is such a vigilant circumspection, that I should as soon expect to
+find nature in the ballets of the Opera-house, as genius at the
+established haunts of authors, artists, and men of science. Bankes
+gives, I suppose officially, a public breakfast weekly, and opens his
+house for conversations on the Sundays. I found at his breakfasts, tea
+and coffee, with hot rolls, and men of celebrity afraid to speak. At the
+conversations, there was something even worse. A few plausible talking
+fellows created a buzz in the room, and the merits of some paltry
+nick-nack of mechanism or science was discussed. The party consisted
+undoubtedly of the most eminent men of their respective lines in the
+world; but they were each and all so apprehensive of having their ideas
+purloined, that they took the most guarded care never to speak of
+anything that they deemed of the slightest consequence, or to hazard an
+opinion that might be called in question. The man who either wishes to
+augment his knowledge, or to pass his time agreeably, will never expose
+himself to a repetition of the fastidious exhibitions of engineers and
+artists who have their talents at market. But such things are among the
+curiosities of London; and if you have any inclination to undergo the
+initiating mortification of being treated as a young man who may be
+likely to interfere with their professional interests, I can easily get
+you introduced."
+
+I do not know whether to ascribe these strictures of your friend to
+humour or misanthropy; but they were said without bitterness; indeed so
+much as matters of course, that, at the moment, I could not but feel
+persuaded they were just. I spoke of them to T---, who says, that
+undoubtedly G---'s account of the exhibitions is true in substance, but
+that it is his own sharp-sightedness which causes him to see them so
+offensively; for that ninety-nine out of the hundred in the world would
+deem an evening spent at the conversations of Sir Joseph Bankes a very
+high intellectual treat.
+
+G--- has invited me to dinner, and I expect some amusement; for T---, who
+is acquainted with him, says, that it is his fault to employ his mind too
+much on all occasions; and that, in all probability, there will be
+something, either in the fare or the company, that I shall remember as
+long as I live. However, you shall hear all about it in my next.--Yours,
+
+ ANDREW PRINGLE.
+
+On the same Sunday on which Mr. Micklewham consulted Mr. Snodgrass as to
+the propriety of reading the Doctor's letter to the elders, the following
+epistle reached the post-office of Irvine, and was delivered by Saunders
+Dickie himself, at the door of Mrs. Glibbans to her servan lassie, who,
+as her mistress had gone to the Relief Church, told him, that he would
+have to come for the postage the morn's morning. "Oh," said Saunders,
+"there's naething to pay but my ain trouble, for it's frankit; but
+aiblins the mistress will gie me a bit drappie, and so I'll come betimes
+i' the morning."
+
+
+
+LETTER XVIII
+
+
+ _Mrs. Pringle to Mrs. Glibbans_
+ LONDON.
+
+MY DEAR MRS. GLIBBANS--The breking up of the old Parlament has been the
+cause why I did not right you before, it having taken it out of my poor
+to get a frank for my letter till yesterday; and I do ashure you, that I
+was most extraordinar uneasy at the great delay, wishing much to let you
+know the decayt state of the Gospel in thir perts, which is the pleasure
+of your life to study by day, and meditate on in the watches of the
+night.
+
+There is no want of going to church, and, if that was a sign of grease
+and peese in the kingdom of Christ, the toun of London might hold a high
+head in the tabernacles of the faithful and true witnesses. But saving
+Dr. Nichol of Swallo-Street, and Dr. Manuel of London-Wall, there is
+nothing sound in the way of preaching here; and when I tell you that Mr.
+John Gant, your friend, and some other flea-lugged fallows, have set up a
+Heelon congregation, and got a young man to preach Erse to the English,
+ye maun think in what a state sinful souls are left in London. But what
+I have been the most consarned about is the state of the dead. I am no
+meaning those who are dead in trespasses and sins, but the true dead. Ye
+will hardly think, that they are buried in a popish-like manner, with
+prayers, and white gowns, and ministers, and spadefuls of yerd cast upon
+them, and laid in vauts, like kists of orangers in a grocery seller--and
+I am told that, after a time, they are taken out when the vaut is
+shurfeeted, and their bones brunt, if they are no made into lamp-black by
+a secret wark--which is a clean proof to me that a right doctrine cannot
+be established in this land--there being so little respec shone to the
+dead.
+
+The worst point, howsomever, of all is, what is done with the
+prayers--and I have heard you say, that although there was nothing more
+to objec to the wonderful Doctor Chammers of Glasgou, that his reading of
+his sermons was testimony against him in the great controversy of sound
+doctrine; but what will you say to reading of prayers, and no only
+reading of prayers, but printed prayers, as if the contreet heart of the
+sinner had no more to say to the Lord in the hour of fasting and
+humiliation, than what a bishop can indite, and a book-seller make profit
+o'. "Verily," as I may say, in a word of scripter, I doobt if the glad
+tidings of salvation have yet been preeched in this land of London; but
+the ministers have good stipends, and where the ground is well manured,
+it may in time bring forth fruit meet for repentance.
+
+There is another thing that behoves me to mention, and that is, that an
+elder is not to be seen in the churches of London, which is a sore signal
+that the piple are left to themselves; and in what state the morality can
+be, you may guess with an eye of pity. But on the Sabbath nights, there
+is such a going and coming, that it's more like a cried fair than the
+Lord's night--all sorts of poor people, instead of meditating on their
+bygane toil and misery of the week, making the Sunday their own day, as
+if they had not a greater Master to serve on that day, than the earthly
+man whom they served in the week-days. It is, howsomever, past the poor
+of nature to tell you of the sinfulness of London; and you may we think
+what is to be the end of all things, when I ashure you, that there is a
+newspaper sold every Sabbath morning, and read by those that never look
+at their Bibles. Our landlady asked us if we would take one; but I
+thought the Doctor would have fired the house, and you know it is not a
+small thing that kindles his passion. In short, London is not a place to
+come to hear the tidings of salvation preeched,--no that I mean to deny
+that there is not herine more than five righteous persons in it, and I
+trust the cornal's hagent is one; for if he is not, we are undone, having
+been obligated to take on already more than a hundred pounds of debt, to
+the account of our living, and the legacy yet in the dead thraws. But as
+I mean this for a spiritual letter, I will say no more about the root of
+all evil, as it is called in the words of truth and holiness; so
+referring you to what I have told Miss Mally Glencairn about the legacy
+and other things nearest my heart, I remain, my dear Mrs. Glibbans, your
+fellou Christian and sinner,
+
+ JANET PRINGLE.
+
+Mrs. Glibbans received this letter between the preachings, and it was
+observed by all her acquaintance during the afternoon service, that she
+was a laden woman. Instead of standing up at the prayers, as her wont
+was, she kept her seat, sitting with downcast eyes, and ever and anon her
+left hand, which was laid over her book on the reading-board of the pew,
+was raised and allowed to drop with a particular moral emphasis,
+bespeaking the mournful cogitations of her spirit. On leaving the
+church, somebody whispered to the minister, that surely Mrs. Glibbans had
+heard some sore news; upon which that meek, mild, and modest good soul
+hastened towards her, and inquired, with more than his usual kindness,
+How she was? Her answer was brief and mysterious; and she shook her head
+in such a manner that showed him all was not right. "Have you heard
+lately of your friends the Pringles?" said he, in his sedate
+manner--"when do they think of leaving London?'
+
+"I wish they may ever get out o't," was the agitated reply of the
+afflicted lady.
+
+"I am very sorry to hear you say so," responded the minister. "I thought
+all was in a fair way to an issue of the settlement. I'm very sorry to
+hear this."
+
+"Oh, sir," said the mourner, "don't think that I am grieved for them and
+their legacy--filthy lucre--no, sir; but I have had a letter that has
+made my hair stand on end. Be none surprised if you hear of the earth
+opening, and London swallowed up, and a voice crying in the wilderness,
+'Woe, woe.'"
+
+The gentle priest was much surprised by this information; it was evident
+that Mrs. Glibbans had received a terrible account of the wickedness of
+London; and that the weight upon her pious spirit was owing to that
+cause. He, therefore, accompanied her home, and administered all the
+consolation he was able to give; assuring her, that it was in the power
+of Omnipotence to convert the stony heart into one of flesh and
+tenderness, and to raise the British metropolis out of the miry clay, and
+place it on a hill, as a city that could not be hid; which Mrs. Glibbans
+was so thankful to hear, that, as soon as he had left her, she took her
+tea in a satisfactory frame of mind, and went the same night to Miss
+Mally Glencairn to hear what Mrs. Pringle had said to her. No visit ever
+happened more opportunely; for just as Mrs. Glibbans knocked at the door,
+Miss Isabella Tod made her appearance. She had also received a letter
+from Rachel, in which it will be seen that reference was made likewise to
+Mrs. Pringle's epistle to Miss Mally.
+
+
+
+LETTER XIX
+
+
+ _Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella Tod_
+ LONDON.
+
+MY DEAR BELL--How delusive are the flatteries of fortune! The wealth
+that has been showered upon us, beyond all our hopes, has brought no
+pleasure to my heart, and I pour my unavailing sighs for your absence,
+when I would communicate the cause of my unhappiness. Captain Sabre has
+been most assiduous in his attentions, and I must confess to your
+sympathising bosom, that I do begin to find that he has an interest in
+mine. But my mother will not listen to his proposals, nor allow me to
+give him any encouragement, till the fatal legacy is settled. What can
+be her motive for this, I am unable to divine; for the captain's fortune
+is far beyond what I could ever have expected without the legacy, and
+equal to all I could hope for with it. If, therefore, there is any doubt
+of the legacy being paid, she should allow me to accept him; and if there
+is none, what can I do better? In the meantime, we are going about
+seeing the sights; but the general mourning is a great drawback on the
+splendour of gaiety. It ends, however, next Sunday; and then the ladies,
+like the spring flowers, will be all in full blossom. I was with the
+Argents at the opera on Saturday last, and it far surpassed my ideas of
+grandeur. But the singing was not good--I never could make out the end
+or the beginning of a song, and it was drowned with the violins; the
+scenery, however, was lovely; but I must not say a word about the
+dancers, only that the females behaved in a manner so shocking, that I
+could scarcely believe it was possible for the delicacy of our sex to do.
+They are, however, all foreigners, who are, you know, naturally of a
+licentious character, especially the French women.
+
+We have taken an elegant house in Baker Street, where we go on Monday
+next, and our own new carriage is to be home in the course of the week.
+All this, which has been done by the advice of Mrs. Argent, gives my
+mother great uneasiness, in case anything should yet happen to the
+legacy. My brother, however, who knows the law better than her, only
+laughs at her fears, and my father has found such a wonderful deal to do
+in religion here, that he is quite delighted, and is busy from morning to
+night in writing letters, and giving charitable donations. I am soon to
+be no less busy, but in another manner. Mrs. Argent has advised us to
+get in accomplished masters for me, so that, as soon as we are removed
+into our own local habitation, I am to begin with drawing and music, and
+the foreign languages. I am not, however, to learn much of the piano;
+Mrs. A. thinks it would take up more time than I can now afford; but I am
+to be cultivated in my singing, and she is to try if the master that
+taught Miss Stephens has an hour to spare--and to use her influence to
+persuade him to give it to me, although he only receives pupils for
+perfectioning, except they belong to families of distinction.
+
+My brother had a hankering to be made a member of Parliament, and got Mr.
+Charles Argent to speak to my father about it, but neither he nor my
+mother would hear of such a thing, which I was very sorry for, as it
+would have been so convenient to me for getting franks; and I wonder my
+mother did not think of that, as she grudges nothing so much as the price
+of postage. But nothing do I grudge so little, especially when it is a
+letter from you. Why do you not write me oftener, and tell me what is
+saying about us, particularly by that spiteful toad, Becky Glibbans, who
+never could hear of any good happening to her acquaintance, without being
+as angry as if it was obtained at her own expense?
+
+I do not like Miss Argent so well on acquaintance as I did at first; not
+that she is not a very fine lassie, but she gives herself such airs at
+the harp and piano--because she can play every sort of music at the first
+sight, and sing, by looking at the notes, any song, although she never
+heard it, which may be very well in a play-actor, or a governess, that
+has to win her bread by music; but I think the education of a modest
+young lady might have been better conducted.
+
+Through the civility of the Argents, we have been introduced to a great
+number of families, and been much invited; but all the parties are so
+ceremonious, that I am never at my ease, which my brother says is owing
+to my rustic education, which I cannot understand; for, although the
+people are finer dressed, and the dinners and rooms grander than what I
+have seen, either at Irvine or Kilmarnock, the company are no wiser; and
+I have not met with a single literary character among them. And what are
+ladies and gentlemen without mind, but a well-dressed mob! It is to mind
+alone that I am at all disposed to pay the homage of diffidence.
+
+The acquaintance of the Argents are all of the first circle, and we have
+got an invitation to a route from the Countess of J---y, in consequence
+of meeting her with them. She is a charming woman, and I anticipate
+great pleasure. Miss Argent says, however, she is ignorant and
+presuming; but how is it possible that she can be so, as she was an
+earl's daughter, and bred up for distinction? Miss Argent may be
+presuming, but a countess is necessarily above that, at least it would
+only become a duchess or marchioness to say so. This, however, is not
+the only occasion in which I have seen the detractive disposition of that
+young lady, who, with all her simplicity of manners and great
+accomplishments, is, you will perceive, just like ourselves, rustic as
+she doubtless thinks our breeding has been.
+
+I have observed that nobody in London inquires about who another is; and
+that in company everyone is treated on an equality, unless when there is
+some remarkable personal peculiarity, so that one really knows nothing of
+those whom one meets. But my paper is full, and I must not take another
+sheet, as my mother has a letter to send in the same frank to Miss Mally
+Glencairn. Believe me, ever affectionately yours,
+
+ RACHEL PRINGLE.
+
+The three ladies knew not very well what to make of this letter. They
+thought there was a change in Rachel's ideas, and that it was not for the
+better; and Miss Isabella expressed, with a sentiment of sincere sorrow,
+that the acquisition of fortune seemed to have brought out some unamiable
+traits in her character, which, perhaps, had she not been exposed to the
+companions and temptations of the great world, would have slumbered,
+unfelt by herself, and unknown to her friends.
+
+Mrs. Glibbans declared, that it was a waking of original sin, which the
+iniquity of London was bringing forth, as the heat of summer causes the
+rosin and sap to issue from the bark of the tree. In the meantime, Miss
+Mally had opened her letter, of which we subjoin a copy.
+
+
+
+LETTER XX
+
+
+ _Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn_
+ LONDON.
+
+DEAR MISS MALLY--I greatly stand in need of your advise and counsel at
+this time. The Doctor's affair comes on at a fearful slow rate, and the
+money goes like snow off a dyke. It is not to be told what has been paid
+for legacy-duty, and no legacy yet in hand; and we have been obligated to
+lift a whole hundred pounds out of the residue, and what that is to be
+the Lord only knows. But Miss Jenny Macbride, she has got her thousand
+pound, all in one bank bill, sent to her; Thomas Bowie, the doctor in
+Ayr, he has got his five hundred pounds; and auld Nanse Sorrel, that was
+nurse to the cornal, she has got the first year of her twenty pounds a
+year; but we have gotten nothing, and I jealouse, that if things go on at
+this rate, there will be nothing to get; and what will become of us then,
+after all the trubble and outlay that we have been pot too by this coming
+to London?
+
+Howsomever, this is the black side of the story; for Mr. Charles Argent,
+in a jocose way, proposed to get Andrew made a Parliament member for
+three thousand pounds, which he said was cheap; and surely he would not
+have thought of such a thing, had he not known that Andrew would have the
+money to pay for't; and, over and above this, Mrs. Argent has been
+recommending Captain Sabre to me for Rachel, and she says he is a stated
+gentleman, with two thousand pounds rental, and her nephew; and surely
+she would not think Rachel a match for him, unless she had an inkling
+from her gudeman of what Rachel's to get. But I have told her that we
+would think of nothing of the sort till the counts war settled, which she
+may tell to her gudeman, and if he approves the match, it will make him
+hasten on the settlement, for really I am growing tired of this London,
+whar I am just like a fish out of the water. The Englishers are sae
+obstinate in their own way, that I can get them to do nothing like
+Christians; and, what is most provoking of all, their ways are very good
+when you know them; but they have no instink to teach a body how to learn
+them. Just this very morning, I told the lass to get a jiggot of mutton
+for the morn's dinner, and she said there was not such a thing to be had
+in London, and threeppit it till I couldna stand her; and, had it not
+been that Mr. Argent's French servan' man happened to come with a cart,
+inviting us to a ball, and who understood what a jiggot was, I might have
+reasoned till the day of doom without redress. As for the Doctor, I
+declare he's like an enchantit person, for he has falling in with a party
+of the elect here, as he says, and they have a kilfud yoking every
+Thursday at the house of Mr. W---, where the Doctor has been, and was
+asked to pray, and did it with great effec, which has made him so up in
+the buckle, that he does nothing but go to Bible soceeyetis, and
+mishonary meetings, and cherity sarmons, which cost a poor of money.
+
+But what consarns me more than all is, that the temptations of this
+vanity fair have turnt the head of Andrew, and he has bought two horses,
+with an English man-servan', which you know is an eating moth. But how
+he payt for them, and whar he is to keep them, is past the compass of my
+understanding. In short, if the legacy does not cast up soon, I see
+nothing left for us but to leave the world as a legacy to you all, for my
+heart will be broken--and I often wish that the cornel hadna made us his
+residees, but only given us a clean scorn, like Miss Jenny Macbride,
+although it had been no more; for, my dear Miss Mally, it does not doo
+for a woman of my time of life to be taken out of her element, and,
+instead of looking after her family with a thrifty eye, to be sitting
+dressed all day seeing the money fleeing like sclate stanes. But what I
+have to tell is worse than all this; we have been persuaded to take a
+furnisht house, where we go on Monday; and we are to pay for it, for
+three months, no less than a hundred and fifty pounds, which is more than
+the half of the Doctor's whole stipend is, when the meal is twenty-pence
+the peck; and we are to have three servan' lassies, besides Andrew's man,
+and the coachman that we have hired altogether for ourselves, having been
+persuaded to trist a new carriage of our own by the Argents, which I
+trust the Argents will find money to pay for; and masters are to come in
+to teach Rachel the fasionable accomplishments, Mrs. Argent thinking she
+was rather old now to be sent to a boarding-school. But what I am to get
+to do for so many vorashous servants, is dreadful to think, there being
+no such thing as a wheel within the four walls of London; and, if there
+was, the Englishers no nothing about spinning. In short, Miss Mally, I
+am driven dimentit, and I wish I could get the Doctor to come home with
+me to our manse, and leave all to Andrew and Rachel, with kurators; but,
+as I said, he's as mickle bye himself as onybody, and says that his
+candle has been hidden under a bushel at Garnock more than thirty years,
+which looks as if the poor man was fey; howsomever, he's happy in his
+delooshon, for if he was afflictit with that forethought and wisdom that
+I have, I know not what would be the upshot of all this calamity. But we
+maun hope for the best; and, happen what will, I am, dear Miss Mally,
+your sincere friend,
+
+ JANET PRINGLE.
+
+Miss Mally sighed as she concluded, and said, "Riches do not always bring
+happiness, and poor Mrs. Pringle would have been far better looking after
+her cows and her butter, and keeping her lassies at their wark, than with
+all this galravitching and grandeur." "Ah!" added Mrs. Glibbans, "she's
+now a testifyer to the truth--she's now a testifyer; happy it will be for
+her if she's enabled to make a sanctified use of the dispensation."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VII--DISCOVERIES AND REBELLIONS
+
+
+One evening as Mr. Snodgrass was taking a solitary walk towards Irvine,
+for the purpose of calling on Miss Mally Glencairn, to inquire what had
+been her latest accounts from their mutual friends in London, and to read
+to her a letter, which he had received two days before, from Mr. Andrew
+Pringle, he met, near Eglintoun Gates, that pious woman, Mrs. Glibbans,
+coming to Garnock, brimful of some most extraordinary intelligence. The
+air was raw and humid, and the ways were deep and foul; she was, however,
+protected without, and tempered within, against the dangers of both.
+Over her venerable satin mantle, lined with cat-skin, she wore a scarlet
+duffle Bath cloak, with which she was wont to attend the tent sermons of
+the Kilwinning and Dreghorn preachings in cold and inclement weather.
+Her black silk petticoat was pinned up, that it might not receive injury
+from the nimble paddling of her short steps in the mire; and she carried
+her best shoes and stockings in a handkerchief to be changed at the
+manse, and had fortified her feet for the road in coarse worsted hose,
+and thick plain-soled leather shoes.
+
+Mr. Snodgrass proposed to turn back with her, but she would not permit
+him. "No, sir," said she, "what I am about you cannot meddle in. You
+are here but a stranger--come to-day, and gane to-morrow;--and it does
+not pertain to you to sift into the doings that have been done before
+your time. Oh dear; but this is a sad thing--nothing like it since the
+silencing of M'Auly of Greenock. What will the worthy Doctor say when he
+hears tell o't? Had it fa'n out with that neighering body, James Daff, I
+wouldna hae car't a snuff of tobacco, but wi' Mr. Craig, a man so gifted
+wi' the power of the Spirit, as I hae often had a delightful experience!
+Ay, ay, Mr. Snodgrass, take heed lest ye fall; we maun all lay it to
+heart; but I hope the trooper is still within the jurisdiction of church
+censures. She shouldna be spairt. Nae doubt, the fault lies with her,
+and it is that I am going to search; yea, as with a lighted candle."
+
+Mr. Snodgrass expressed his inability to understand to what Mrs. Glibbans
+alluded, and a very long and interesting disclosure took place, the
+substance of which may be gathered from the following letter; the
+immediate and instigating cause of the lady's journey to Garnock being
+the alarming intelligence which she had that day received of Mr. Craig's
+servant-damsel Betty having, by the style and title of Mrs. Craig, sent
+for Nanse Swaddle, the midwife, to come to her in her own case, which
+seemed to Mrs. Glibbans nothing short of a miracle, Betty having, the
+very Sunday before, helped the kettle when she drank tea with Mr. Craig,
+and sat at the room door, on a buffet-stool brought from the kitchen,
+while he performed family worship, to the great solace and edification of
+his visitor.
+
+
+
+LETTER XXI
+
+
+ _The Rev. Z. Pringle_, _D.D._, _to Mr. Micklewham_, _Schoolmaster and
+ Session-Clerk_, _Garnock_
+
+DEAR SIR--I have received your letter of the 24th, which has given me a
+great surprise to hear, that Mr. Craig was married as far back as
+Christmas, to his own servant lass Betty, and me to know nothing of it,
+nor you neither, until it was time to be speaking to the midwife. To be
+sure, Mr. Craig, who is an elder, and a very rigid man, in his
+animadversions on the immoralities that come before the session, must
+have had his own good reasons for keeping his marriage so long a secret.
+Tell him, however, from me, that I wish both him and Mrs. Craig much joy
+and felicity; but he should be milder for the future on the
+thoughtlessness of youth and headstrong passions. Not that I insinuate
+that there has been any occasion in the conduct of such a godly man to
+cause a suspicion; but it's wonderful how he was married in December, and
+I cannot say that I am altogether so proud to hear it as I am at all
+times of the well-doing of my people. Really the way that Mr. Daff has
+comported himself in this matter is greatly to his credit; and I doubt if
+the thing had happened with him, that Mr. Craig would have sifted with a
+sharp eye how he came to be married in December, and without bridal and
+banquet. For my part, I could not have thought it of Mr. Craig, but it's
+done now, and the less we say about it the better; so I think with Mr.
+Daff, that it must be looked over; but when I return, I will speak both
+to the husband and wife, and not without letting them have an inkling of
+what I think about their being married in December, which was a great
+shame, even if there was no sin in it. But I will say no more; for
+truly, Mr. Micklewham, the longer we live in this world, and the farther
+we go, and the better we know ourselves, the less reason have we to think
+slightingly of our neighbours; but the more to convince our hearts and
+understandings, that we are all prone to evil, and desperately wicked.
+For where does hypocrisy not abound? and I have had my own experience
+here, that what a man is to the world, and to his own heart, is a very
+different thing.
+
+In my last letter, I gave you a pleasing notification of the growth, as I
+thought, of spirituality in this Babylon of deceitfulness, thinking that
+you and my people would be gladdened with the tidings of the repute and
+estimation in which your minister was held, and I have dealt largely in
+the way of public charity. But I doubt that I have been governed by a
+spirit of ostentation, and not with that lowly-mindedness, without which
+all almsgiving is but a serving of the altars of Belzebub; for the
+chastening hand has been laid upon me, but with the kindness and pity
+which a tender father hath for his dear children.
+
+I was requested by those who come so cordially to me with their
+subscription papers, for schools and suffering worth, to preach a sermon
+to get a collection. I have no occasion to tell you, that when I exert
+myself, what effect I can produce; and I never made so great an exertion
+before, which in itself was a proof that it was with the two bladders,
+pomp and vanity, that I had committed myself to swim on the uncertain
+waters of London; for surely my best exertions were due to my people.
+But when the Sabbath came upon which I was to hold forth, how were my
+hopes withered, and my expectations frustrated. Oh, Mr. Micklewham, what
+an inattentive congregation was yonder! many slumbered and slept, and I
+sowed the words of truth and holiness in vain upon their barren and
+stoney hearts. There is no true grace among some that I shall not name,
+for I saw them whispering and smiling like the scorners, and altogether
+heedless unto the precious things of my discourse, which could not have
+been the case had they been sincere in their professions, for I never
+preached more to my own satisfaction on any occasion whatsoever--and,
+when I return to my own parish, you shall hear what I said, as I will
+preach the same sermon over again, for I am not going now to print it, as
+I did once think of doing, and to have dedicated it to Mr. W---.
+
+We are going about in an easy way, seeing what is to be seen in the shape
+of curiosities; but the whole town is in a state of ferment with the
+election of members to Parliament. I have been to see't, both in the
+Guildhall and at Covent Garden, and it's a frightful thing to see how the
+Radicals roar like bulls of Bashan, and put down the speakers in behalf
+of the government. I hope no harm will come of yon, but I must say, that
+I prefer our own quiet canny Scotch way at Irvine. Well do I remember,
+for it happened in the year I was licensed, that the town council, the
+Lord Eglinton that was shot being then provost, took in the late Thomas
+Bowet to be a counsellor; and Thomas, not being versed in election
+matters, yet minding to please his lordship (for, like the rest of the
+council, he had always a proper veneration for those in power), he, as I
+was saying, consulted Joseph Boyd the weaver, who was then Dean of Guild,
+as to the way of voting; whereupon Joseph, who was a discreet man, said
+to him, "Ye'll just say as I say, and I'll say what Bailie Shaw says, for
+he will do what my lord bids him"; which was as peaceful a way of sending
+up a member to Parliament as could well be devised.
+
+But you know that politics are far from my hand--they belong to the
+temporalities of the community; and the ministers of peace and goodwill
+to man should neither make nor meddle with them. I wish, however, that
+these tumultuous elections were well over, for they have had an effect on
+the per cents, where our bit legacy is funded; and it would terrify you
+to hear what we have thereby already lost. We have not, however, lost so
+much but that I can spare a little to the poor among my people; so you
+will, in the dry weather, after the seed-time, hire two-three thackers to
+mend the thack on the roofs of such of the cottars' houses as stand in
+need of mending, and banker M---y will pay the expense; and I beg you to
+go to him on receipt hereof, for he has a line for yourself, which you
+will be sure to accept as a testimony from me for the great trouble that
+my absence from the parish has given to you among my people, and I am,
+dear sir, your friend and pastor,
+
+ Z. PRINGLE.
+
+As Mrs. Glibbans would not permit Mr. Snodgrass to return with her to the
+manse, he pursued his journey alone to the Kirkgate of Irvine, where he
+found Miss Mally Glencairn on the eve of sitting down to her solitary
+tea. On seeing her visitor enter, after the first compliments on the
+state of health and weather were over, she expressed her hopes that he
+had not drank tea; and, on receiving a negative, which she did not quite
+expect, as she thought he had been perhaps invited by some of her
+neighbours, she put in an additional spoonful on his account; and brought
+from her corner cupboard with the glass door, an ancient French
+pickle-bottle, in which she had preserved, since the great tea-drinking
+formerly mentioned, the remainder of the two ounces of carvey, the best,
+Mrs. Nanse bought for that memorable occasion. A short conversation then
+took place relative to the Pringles; and, while the tea was masking, for
+Miss Mally said it took a long time to draw, she read to him the
+following letter:--
+
+
+
+LETTER XXII
+
+
+ _Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn_
+
+MY DEAR MISS MALLY--Trully, it may be said, that the croun of England is
+upon the downfal, and surely we are all seething in the pot of
+revolution, for the scum is mounting uppermost. Last week, no farther
+gone than on Mononday, we came to our new house heer in Baker Street, but
+it's nather to be bakit nor brewt what I hav sin syne suffert. You no my
+way, and that I like a been house, but no wastrie, and so I needna tell
+yoo, that we hav had good diners; to be sure, there was not a meerakle
+left to fill five baskets every day, but an abundance, with a proper
+kitchen of breed, to fill the bellies of four dumasticks. Howsomever, lo
+and behold, what was clecking downstairs. On Saturday morning, as we
+were sitting at our breakfast, the Doctor reading the newspapers, who
+shoud corn intil the room but Andrew's grum, follo't by the rest, to give
+us warning that they were all going to quat our sairvice, becas they were
+starvit. I thocht that I would hav fentit cauld deed, but the Doctor,
+who is a consiederat man, inquairt what made them starve, and then there
+was such an opprobrious cry about cold meet and bare bones, and no beer.
+It was an evendoun resurection--a rebellion waur than the forty-five. In
+short, Miss Mally, to make a leettle of a lang tail, they would have a
+hot joint day and day about, and a tree of yill to stand on the gauntress
+for their draw and drink, with a cock and a pail; and we were obligated
+to evacuate to their terms, and to let them go to their wark with flying
+colors; so you see how dangerous it is to live among this piple, and
+their noshans of liberty.
+
+You will see by the newspapers that ther's a lection going on for
+parliament. It maks my corruption to rise to hear of such doings, and if
+I was a government as I'm but a woman, I woud put them doon with the
+strong hand, just to be revenged on the proud stomaks of these het and
+fou English.
+
+We have gotten our money in the pesents put into our name; but I have had
+no peese since, for they have fallen in price three eight parts, which is
+very near a half, and if they go at this rate, where will all our legacy
+soon be? I have no goo of the pesents; so we are on the look-out for a
+landed estate, being a shure thing.
+
+Captain Saber is still sneking after Rachel, and if she were awee
+perfited in her accomplugments, it's no saying what might happen, for
+he's a fine lad, but she's o'er young to be the heed of a family.
+Howsomever, the Lord's will maun be done, and if there is to be a match,
+she'll no have to fight for gentility with a straitent circumstance.
+
+As for Andrew, I wish he was weel settlt, and we have our hopes that he's
+beginning to draw up with Miss Argent, who will have, no doobt, a great
+fortune, and is a treasure of a creeture in herself, being just as simple
+as a lamb; but, to be sure, she has had every advantage of edication,
+being brought up in a most fashonible boarding-school.
+
+I hope you have got the box I sent by the smak, and that you like the
+patron of the goon. So no more at present, but remains, dear Miss Mally,
+your sinsaire friend,
+
+ JANET PRINGLE.
+
+"The box," said Miss Mally, "that Mrs. Pringle speaks about came last
+night. It contains a very handsome present to me and to Miss Bell Tod.
+The gift to me is from Mrs. P. herself, and Miss Bell's from Rachel; but
+that ettercap, Becky Glibbans, is flying through the town like a spunky,
+mislikening the one and misca'ing the other: everybody, however, kens
+that it's only spite that gars her speak. It's a great pity that she
+cou'dna be brought to a sense of religion like her mother, who, in her
+younger days, they say, wasna to seek at a clashing."
+
+Mr. Snodgrass expressed his surprise at this account of the faults of
+that exemplary lady's youth; but he thought of her holy anxiety to sift
+into the circumstances of Betty, the elder's servant, becoming in one day
+Mrs. Craig, and the same afternoon sending for the midwife, and he
+prudently made no other comment; for the characters of all preachers were
+in her hands, and he had the good fortune to stand high in her favour, as
+a young man of great promise. In order, therefore, to avoid any
+discussion respecting moral merits, he read the following letter from
+Andrew Pringle:--
+
+
+
+LETTER XXIII
+
+
+ _Andrew Pringle_, _Esq._, _to the Reverend Charles Snodgrass_
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND--London undoubtedly affords the best and the worst
+specimens of the British character; but there is a certain townish
+something about the inhabitants in general, of which I find it extremely
+difficult to convey any idea. Compared with the English of the country,
+there is apparently very little difference between them; but still there
+is a difference, and of no small importance in a moral point of view.
+The country peculiarity is like the bloom of the plumb, or the down of
+the peach, which the fingers of infancy cannot touch without injuring;
+but this felt but not describable quality of the town character, is as
+the varnish which brings out more vividly the colours of a picture, and
+which may be freely and even rudely handled. The women, for example,
+although as chaste in principle as those of any other community, possess
+none of that innocent untempted simplicity, which is more than half the
+grace of virtue; many of them, and even young ones too, "in the first
+freshness of their virgin beauty," speak of the conduct and vocation of
+"the erring sisters of the sex," in a manner that often amazes me, and
+has, in more than one instance, excited unpleasant feelings towards the
+fair satirists. This moral taint, for I can consider it as nothing less,
+I have heard defended, but only by men who are supposed to have had a
+large experience of the world, and who, perhaps, on that account, are not
+the best judges of female delicacy. "Every woman," as Pope says, "may be
+at heart a rake"; but it is for the interests of the domestic affections,
+which are the very elements of virtue, to cherish the notion, that women,
+as they are physically more delicate than men, are also so morally.
+
+But the absence of delicacy, the bloom of virtue, is not peculiar to the
+females, it is characteristic of all the varieties of the metropolitan
+mind. The artifices of the medical quacks are things of universal
+ridicule; but the sin, though in a less gross form, pervades the whole of
+that sinister system by which much of the superiority of this vast
+metropolis is supported. The state of the periodical press, that great
+organ of political instruction--the unruly tongue of liberty, strikingly
+confirms the justice of this misanthropic remark.
+
+G--- had the kindness, by way of a treat to me, to collect, the other
+day, at dinner, some of the most eminent editors of the London journals.
+I found them men of talent, certainly, and much more men of the world,
+than "the cloistered student from his paling lamp"; but I was astonished
+to find it considered, tacitly, as a sort of maxim among them, that an
+intermediate party was not bound by any obligation of honour to withhold,
+farther than his own discretion suggested, any information of which he
+was the accidental depositary, whatever the consequences might be to his
+informant, or to those affected by the communication. In a word, they
+seemed all to care less about what might be true than what would produce
+effect, and that effect for their own particular advantage. It is
+impossible to deny, that if interest is made the criterion by which the
+confidences of social intercourse are to be respected, the persons who
+admit this doctrine will have but little respect for the use of names, or
+deem it any reprehensible delinquency to suppress truth, or to blazon
+falsehood. In a word, man in London is not quite so good a creature as
+he is out of it. The rivalry of interests is here too intense; it
+impairs the affections, and occasions speculations both in morals and
+politics, which, I much suspect, it would puzzle a casuist to prove
+blameless. Can anything, for example, be more offensive to the calm
+spectator, than the elections which are now going on? Is it possible
+that this country, so much smaller in geographical extent than France,
+and so inferior in natural resources, restricted too by those ties and
+obligations which were thrown off as fetters by that country during the
+late war, could have attained, in despite of her, such a lofty
+pre-eminence--become the foremost of all the world--had it not been
+governed in a manner congenial to the spirit of the people, and with
+great practical wisdom? It is absurd to assert, that there are no
+corruptions in the various modifications by which the affairs of the
+British empire are administered; but it would be difficult to show, that,
+in the present state of morals and interests among mankind, corruption is
+not a necessary evil. I do not mean necessary, as evolved from those
+morals and interests, but necessary to the management of political
+trusts. I am afraid, however, to insist on this, as the natural
+integrity of your own heart, and the dignity of your vocation, will alike
+induce you to condemn it as Machiavellian. It is, however, an
+observation forced on me by what I have seen here.
+
+It would be invidious, perhaps, to criticise the different candidates for
+the representation of London and Westminster very severely. I think it
+must be granted, that they are as sincere in their professions as their
+opponents, which at least bleaches away much of that turpitude of which
+their political conduct is accused by those who are of a different way of
+thinking. But it is quite evident, at least to me, that no government
+could exist a week, managed with that subjection to public opinion to
+which Sir Francis Burdett and Mr. Hobhouse apparently submit; and it is
+no less certain, that no government ought to exist a single day that
+would act in complete defiance of public opinion.
+
+I was surprised to find Sir Francis Burdett an uncommonly mild and
+gentlemanly-looking man. I had pictured somehow to my imagination a dark
+and morose character; but, on the contrary, in his appearance,
+deportment, and manner of speaking, he is eminently qualified to attract
+popular applause. His style of speaking is not particularly oratorical,
+but he has the art of saying bitter things in a sweet way. In his
+language, however, although pungent, and sometimes even eloquent, he is
+singularly incorrect. He cannot utter a sequence of three sentences
+without violating common grammar in the most atrocious way; and his
+tropes and figures are so distorted, hashed, and broken--such a patchwork
+of different patterns, that you are bewildered if you attempt to make
+them out; but the earnestness of his manner, and a certain fitness of
+character, in his observations a kind of Shaksperian pithiness, redeem
+all this. Besides, his manifold blunders of syntax do not offend the
+taste of those audiences where he is heard with the most approbation.
+
+Hobhouse speaks more correctly, but he lacks in the conciliatory
+advantages of personal appearance; and his physiognomy, though indicating
+considerable strength of mind, is not so prepossessing. He is evidently
+a man of more education than his friend, that is, of more reading,
+perhaps also of more various observation, but he has less genius. His
+tact is coarser, and though he speaks with more vehemence, he seldomer
+touches the sensibilities of his auditors. He may have observed mankind
+in general more extensively than Sir Francis, but he is far less
+acquainted with the feelings and associations of the English mind. There
+is also a wariness about him, which I do not like so well as the
+imprudent ingenuousness of the baronet. He seems to me to have a cause
+in hand--Hobhouse _versus_ Existing Circumstances--and that he considers
+the multitude as the jurors, on whose decision his advancement in life
+depends. But in this I may be uncharitable. I should, however, think
+more highly of his sincerity as a patriot, if his stake in the country
+were greater; and yet I doubt, if his stake were greater, if he is that
+sort of man who would have cultivated popularity in Westminster. He
+seems to me to have qualified himself for Parliament as others do for the
+bar, and that he will probably be considered in the House for some time
+merely as a political adventurer. But if he has the talent and prudence
+requisite to ensure distinction in the line of his profession, the
+mediocrity of his original condition will reflect honour on his success,
+should he hereafter acquire influence and consideration as a statesman.
+Of his literary talents I know you do not think very highly, nor am I
+inclined to rank the powers of his mind much beyond those of any common
+well-educated English gentleman. But it will soon be ascertained whether
+his pretensions to represent Westminster be justified by a sense of
+conscious superiority, or only prompted by that ambition which overleaps
+itself.
+
+Of Wood, who was twice Lord Mayor, I know not what to say. There is a
+queer and wily cast in his pale countenance, that puzzles me exceedingly.
+In common parlance I would call him an empty vain creature; but when I
+look at that indescribable spirit, which indicates a strange and
+out-of-the-way manner of thinking, I humbly confess that he is no common
+man. He is evidently a person of no intellectual accomplishments; he has
+neither the language nor the deportment of a gentleman, in the usual
+understanding of the term; and yet there is something that I would almost
+call genius about him. It is not cunning, it is not wisdom, it is far
+from being prudence, and yet it is something as wary as prudence, as
+effectual as wisdom, and not less sinister than cunning. I would call it
+intuitive skill, a sort of instinct, by which he is enabled to attain his
+ends in defiance of a capacity naturally narrow, a judgment that topples
+with vanity, and an address at once mean and repulsive. To call him a
+great man, in any possible approximation of the word, would be
+ridiculous; that he is a good one, will be denied by those who envy his
+success, or hate his politics; but nothing, save the blindness of
+fanaticism, can call in question his possession of a rare and singular
+species of ability, let it be exerted in what cause it may. But my paper
+is full, and I have only room to subscribe myself, faithfully, yours,
+
+ A. PRINGLE.
+
+"It appears to us," said Mr. Snodgrass, as he folded up the letter to
+return it to his pocket, "that the Londoners, with all their advantages
+of information, are neither purer nor better than their fellow-subjects
+in the country." "As to their betterness," replied Miss Mally, "I have a
+notion that they are far waur; and I hope you do not think that earthly
+knowledge of any sort has a tendency to make mankind, or womankind
+either, any better; for was not Solomon, who had more of it than any
+other man, a type and testification, that knowledge without grace is but
+vanity?" The young clergyman was somewhat startled at this application
+of a remark on which he laid no particular stress, and was thankful in
+his heart that Mrs. Glibbans was not present. He was not aware that Miss
+Mally had an orthodox corn, or bunyan, that could as little bear a touch
+from the royne-slippers of philosophy, as the inflamed gout of polemical
+controversy, which had gumfiated every mental joint and member of that
+zealous prop of the Relief Kirk. This was indeed the tender point of
+Miss Mally's character; for she was left unplucked on the stalk of single
+blessedness, owing entirely to a conversation on this very subject with
+the only lover she ever had, Mr. Dalgliesh, formerly helper in the
+neighbouring parish of Dintonknow. He happened incidentally to observe,
+that education was requisite to promote the interests of religion. But
+Miss Mally, on that occasion, jocularly maintained, that education had
+only a tendency to promote the sale of books. This, Mr. Dalgliesh
+thought, was a sneer at himself, he having some time before unfortunately
+published a short tract, entitled, "The moral union of our temporal and
+eternal interests considered, with respect to the establishment of
+parochial seminaries," and which fell still-born from the press. He
+therefore retorted with some acrimony, until, from less to more, Miss
+Mally ordered him to keep his distance; upon which he bounced out of the
+room, and they were never afterwards on speaking terms. Saving, however,
+and excepting this particular dogma, Miss Mally was on all other topics
+as liberal and beneficent as could be expected from a maiden lady, who
+was obliged to eke out her stinted income with a nimble needle and a
+close-clipping economy. The conversation with Mr. Snodgrass was not,
+however, lengthened into acrimony; for immediately after the remark which
+we have noticed, she proposed that they should call on Miss Isabella Tod
+to see Rachel's letter; indeed, this was rendered necessary by the state
+of the fire, for after boiling the kettle she had allowed it to fall low.
+It was her nightly practice after tea to take her evening seam, in a
+friendly way, to some of her neighbours' houses, by which she saved both
+coal and candle, while she acquired the news of the day, and was
+occasionally invited to stay supper.
+
+On their arrival at Mrs. Tod's, Miss Isabella understood the purport of
+their visit, and immediately produced her letter, receiving, at the same
+time, a perusal of Mr. Andrew Pringle's. Mrs. Pringle's to Miss Mally
+she had previously seen.
+
+
+
+LETTER XXIV
+
+
+ _Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella Tod_
+
+MY DEAR BELL--Since my last, we have undergone great changes and
+vicissitudes. Last week we removed to our present house, which is
+exceedingly handsome and elegantly furnished; and on Saturday there was
+an insurrection of the servants, on account of my mother not allowing
+them to have their dinners served up at the usual hour for servants at
+other genteel houses. We have also had the legacy in the funds
+transferred to my father, and only now wait the settling of the final
+accounts, which will yet take some time. On the day that the transfer
+took place, my mother made me a present of a twenty pound note, to lay
+out in any way I thought fit, and in so doing, I could not but think of
+you; I have, therefore, in a box which she is sending to Miss Mally
+Glencairn, sent you an evening dress from Mrs. Bean's, one of the most
+fashionable and tasteful dressmakers in town, which I hope you will wear
+with pleasure for my sake. I have got one exactly like it, so that when
+you see yourself in the glass, you will behold in what state I appeared
+at Lady ---'s route.
+
+Ah! my dear Bell, how much are our expectations disappointed! How often
+have we, with admiration and longing wonder, read the descriptions in the
+newspapers of the fashionable parties in this great metropolis, and
+thought of the Grecian lamps, the ottomans, the promenades, the
+ornamented floors, the cut glass, the _coup d'oeil_, and the _tout
+ensemble_. "Alas!" as Young the poet says, "the things unseen do not
+deceive us." I have seen more beauty at an Irvine ball, than all the
+fashionable world could bring to market at my Lady ---'s emporium for the
+disposal of young ladies, for indeed I can consider it as nothing else.
+
+I went with the Argents. The hall door was open, and filled with the
+servants in their state liveries; but although the door was open, the
+porter, as each carriage came up, rung a peal upon the knocker, to
+announce to all the square the successive arrival of the guests. We were
+shown upstairs to the drawing-rooms. They were very well, but neither so
+grand nor so great as I expected. As for the company, it was a
+suffocating crowd of fat elderly gentlewomen, and misses that stood in
+need of all the charms of their fortunes. One thing I could notice--for
+the press was so great, little could be seen--it was, that the old ladies
+wore rouge. The white satin sleeve of my dress was entirely ruined by
+coming in contact with a little round, dumpling duchess's cheek--as
+vulgar a body as could well be. She seemed to me to have spent all her
+days behind a counter, smirking thankfulness to bawbee customers.
+
+When we had been shown in the drawing-rooms to the men for some time, we
+then adjourned to the lower apartments, where the refreshments were set
+out. This, I suppose, is arranged to afford an opportunity to the beaux
+to be civil to the belles, and thereby to scrape acquaintance with those
+whom they approve, by assisting them to the delicacies. Altogether, it
+was a very dull well-dressed affair, and yet I ought to have been in good
+spirits, for Sir Marmaduke Towler, a great Yorkshire baronet, was most
+particular in his attentions to me; indeed so much so, that I saw it made
+poor Sabre very uneasy. I do not know why it should, for I have given
+him no positive encouragement to hope for anything; not that I have the
+least idea that the baronet's attentions were more than commonplace
+politeness, but he has since called. I cannot, however, say that my
+vanity is at all flattered by this circumstance. At the same time, there
+surely could be no harm in Sir Marmaduke making me an offer, for you know
+I am not bound to accept it. Besides, my father does not like him, and
+my mother thinks he's a fortune-hunter; but I cannot conceive how that
+may be, for, on the contrary, he is said to be rather extravagant.
+
+Before we return to Scotland, it is intended that we shall visit some of
+the watering-places; and, perhaps, if Andrew can manage it with my
+father, we may even take a trip to Paris. The Doctor himself is not
+averse to it, but my mother is afraid that a new war may break out, and
+that we may be detained prisoners. This fantastical fear we shall,
+however, try to overcome. But I am interrupted. Sir Marmaduke is in the
+drawing-room, and I am summoned.--Yours truly,
+
+ RACHEL PRINGLE.
+
+When Mr. Snodgrass had read this letter, he paused for a moment, and then
+said dryly, in handing it to Miss Isabella, "Miss Pringle is improving in
+the ways of the world."
+
+The evening by this time was far advanced, and the young clergyman was
+not desirous to renew the conversation; he therefore almost immediately
+took his leave, and walked sedately towards Garnock, debating with
+himself as he went along, whether Dr. Pringle's family were likely to be
+benefited by their legacy. But he had scarcely passed the minister's
+carse, when he met with Mrs. Glibbans returning. "Mr. Snodgrass! Mr.
+Snodgrass!" cried that ardent matron from her side of the road to the
+other where he was walking, and he obeyed her call; "yon's no sic a black
+story as I thought. Mrs. Craig is to be sure far gane! but they were
+married in December; and it was only because she was his servan' lass
+that the worthy man didna like to own her at first for his wife. It
+would have been dreadful had the matter been jealoused at the first. She
+gaed to Glasgow to see an auntie that she has there, and he gaed in to
+fetch her out, and it was then the marriage was made up, which I was glad
+to hear; for, oh, Mr. Snodgrass, it would have been an awfu' judgment had
+a man like Mr. Craig turn't out no better than a Tam Pain or a Major
+Weir. But a's for the best; and Him that has the power of salvation can
+blot out all our iniquities. So good-night--ye'll have a lang walk."
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII--THE QUEEN'S TRIAL
+
+
+As the spring advanced, the beauty of the country around Garnock was
+gradually unfolded; the blossom was unclosed, while the church was
+embraced within the foliage of more umbrageous boughs. The schoolboys
+from the adjacent villages were, on the Saturday afternoons, frequently
+seen angling along the banks of the Lugton, which ran clearer beneath the
+churchyard wall, and the hedge of the minister's glebe; and the evenings
+were so much lengthened, that the occasional visitors at the manse could
+prolong their walk after tea. These, however, were less numerous than
+when the family were at home; but still Mr. Snodgrass, when the weather
+was fine, had no reason to deplore the loneliness of his bachelor's
+court.
+
+It happened that, one fair and sunny afternoon, Miss Mally Glencairn and
+Miss Isabella Tod came to the manse. Mrs. Glibbans and her daughter
+Becky were the same day paying their first ceremonious visit, as the
+matron called it, to Mr. and Mrs. Craig, with whom the whole party were
+invited to take tea; and, for lack of more amusing chit-chat, the
+Reverend young gentleman read to them the last letter which he had
+received from Mr. Andrew Pringle. It was conjured naturally enough out
+of his pocket, by an observation of Miss Mally's "Nothing surprises me,"
+said that amiable maiden lady, "so much as the health and good-humour of
+the commonality. It is a joyous refutation of the opinion, that the
+comfort and happiness of this life depends on the wealth of worldly
+possessions."
+
+"It is so," replied Mr. Snodgrass, "and I do often wonder, when I see the
+blithe and hearty children of the cottars, frolicking in the abundance of
+health and hilarity, where the means come from to enable their poor
+industrious parents to supply their wants."
+
+"How can you wonder at ony sic things, Mr. Snodgrass? Do they not come
+from on high," said Mrs. Glibbans, "whence cometh every good and perfect
+gift? Is there not the flowers of the field, which neither card nor
+spin, and yet Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of
+these?"
+
+"I was not speaking in a spiritual sense," interrupted the other, "but
+merely made the remark, as introductory to a letter which I have received
+from Mr. Andrew Pringle, respecting some of the ways of living in
+London."
+
+Mrs. Craig, who had been so recently translated from the kitchen to the
+parlour, pricked up her ears at this, not doubting that the letter would
+contain something very grand and wonderful, and exclaimed, "Gude safe's,
+let's hear't--I'm unco fond to ken about London, and the king and the
+queen; but I believe they are baith dead noo."
+
+Miss Becky Glibbans gave a satirical keckle at this, and showed her
+superior learning, by explaining to Mrs. Craig the unbroken nature of the
+kingly office. Mr. Snodgrass then read as follows:--
+
+
+
+LETTER XXV
+
+
+ _Andrew Pringle_, _Esq._, _to the Rev. Charles Snodgrass_
+
+MY DEAR FRIEND--You are not aware of the task you impose, when you
+request me to send you some account of the general way of living in
+London. Unless you come here, and actually experience yourself what I
+would call the London ache, it is impossible to supply you with any
+adequate idea of the necessity that exists in this wilderness of mankind,
+to seek refuge in society, without being over fastidious with respect to
+the intellectual qualifications of your occasional associates. In a
+remote desart, the solitary traveller is subject to apprehensions of
+danger; but still he is the most important thing "within the circle of
+that lonely waste"; and the sense of his own dignity enables him to
+sustain the shock of considerable hazard with spirit and fortitude. But,
+in London, the feeling of self-importance is totally lost and suppressed
+in the bosom of a stranger. A painful conviction of insignificance--of
+nothingness, I may say--is sunk upon his heart, and murmured in his ear
+by the million, who divide with him that consequence which he
+unconsciously before supposed he possessed in a general estimate of the
+world. While elbowing my way through the unknown multitude that flows
+between Charing Cross and the Royal Exchange, this mortifying sense of my
+own insignificance has often come upon me with the energy of a pang; and
+I have thought, that, after all we can say of any man, the effect of the
+greatest influence of an individual on society at large, is but as that
+of a pebble thrown into the sea. Mathematically speaking, the
+undulations which the pebble causes, continue until the whole mass of the
+ocean has been disturbed to the bottom of its most secret depths and
+farthest shores; and, perhaps, with equal truth it may be affirmed, that
+the sentiments of the man of genius are also infinitely propagated; but
+how soon is the physical impression of the one lost to every sensible
+perception, and the moral impulse of the other swallowed up from all
+practical effect.
+
+But though London, in the general, may be justly compared to the vast and
+restless ocean, or to any other thing that is either sublime,
+incomprehensible, or affecting, it loses all its influence over the
+solemn associations of the mind when it is examined in its details. For
+example, living on the town, as it is slangishly called, the most
+friendless and isolated condition possible, is yet fraught with an
+amazing diversity of enjoyment. Thousands of gentlemen, who have
+survived the relish of active fashionable pursuits, pass their life in
+that state without tasting the delight of one new sensation. They rise
+in the morning merely because Nature will not allow them to remain longer
+in bed. They begin the day without motive or purpose, and close it after
+having performed the same unvaried round as the most thoroughbred
+domestic animal that ever dwelt in manse or manor-house. If you ask them
+at three o'clock where they are to dine, they cannot tell you; but about
+the wonted dinner-hour, batches of these forlorn bachelors find
+themselves diurnally congregated, as if by instinct, around a cozy table
+in some snug coffee-house, where, after inspecting the contents of the
+bill of fare, they discuss the news of the day, reserving the scandal, by
+way of dessert, for their wine. Day after day their respective political
+opinions give rise to keen encounters, but without producing the
+slightest shade of change in any of their old ingrained and particular
+sentiments.
+
+Some of their haunts, I mean those frequented by the elderly race, are
+shabby enough in their appearance and circumstances, except perhaps in
+the quality of the wine. Everything in them is regulated by an ancient
+and precise economy, and you perceive, at the first glance, that all is
+calculated on the principle of the house giving as much for the money as
+it can possibly afford, without infringing those little etiquettes which
+persons of gentlemanly habits regard as essentials. At half price the
+junior members of these unorganised or natural clubs retire to the
+theatres, while the elder brethren mend their potations till it is time
+to go home. This seems a very comfortless way of life, but I have no
+doubt it is the preferred result of a long experience of the world, and
+that the parties, upon the whole, find it superior, according to their
+early formed habits of dissipation and gaiety, to the sedate but not more
+regular course of a domestic circle.
+
+The chief pleasure, however, of living on the town, consists in
+accidentally falling in with persons whom it might be otherwise difficult
+to meet in private life. I have several times enjoyed this. The other
+day I fell in with an old gentleman, evidently a man of some consequence,
+for he came to the coffee-house in his own carriage. It happened that we
+were the only guests, and he proposed that we should therefore dine
+together. In the course of conversation it came out, that he had been
+familiarly acquainted with Garrick, and had frequented the Literary Club
+in the days of Johnson and Goldsmith. In his youth, I conceive, he must
+have been an amusing companion; for his fancy was exceedingly lively, and
+his manners altogether afforded a very favourable specimen of the old,
+the gentlemanly school. At an appointed hour his carriage came for him,
+and we parted, perhaps never to meet again.
+
+Such agreeable incidents, however, are not common, as the frequenters of
+the coffee-houses are, I think, usually taciturn characters, and averse
+to conversation. I may, however, be myself in fault. Our countrymen in
+general, whatever may be their address in improving acquaintance to the
+promotion of their own interests, have not the best way, in the first
+instance, of introducing themselves. A raw Scotchman, contrasted with a
+sharp Londoner, is very inadroit and awkward, be his talents what they
+may; and I suspect, that even the most brilliant of your old
+class-fellows have, in their professional visits to this metropolis, had
+some experience of what I mean.
+
+ ANDREW PRINGLE.
+
+When Mr. Snodgrass paused, and was folding up the letter, Mrs. Craig,
+bending with her hands on her knees, said, emphatically, "Noo, sir, what
+think you of that?" He was not, however, quite prepared to give an
+answer to a question so abruptly propounded, nor indeed did he exactly
+understand to what particular the lady referred. "For my part," she
+resumed, recovering her previous posture--"for my part, it's a very
+caldrife way of life to dine every day on coffee; broth and beef would
+put mair smeddum in the men; they're just a whin auld fogies that Mr.
+Andrew describes, an' no wurth a single woman's pains." "Wheesht,
+wheesht, mistress," cried Mr. Craig; "ye mauna let your tongue rin awa
+with your sense in that gait." "It has but a light load," said Miss
+Becky, whispering Isabella Tod. In this juncture, Mr. Micklewham
+happened to come in, and Mrs. Craig, on seeing him, cried out, "I hope,
+Mr. Micklewham, ye have brought the Doctor's letter. He's such a funny
+man! and touches off the Londoners to the nines."
+
+"He's a good man," said Mrs. Glibbans, in a tone calculated to repress
+the forwardness of Mrs. Craig; but Miss Mally Glencairn having, in the
+meanwhile, taken from her pocket an epistle which she had received the
+preceding day from Mrs. Pringle, Mr. Snodgrass silenced all controversy
+on that score by requesting her to proceed with the reading. "She's a
+clever woman, Mrs. Pringle," said Mrs. Craig, who was resolved to cut a
+figure in the conversation in her own house. "She's a discreet woman,
+and may be as godly, too, as some that make mair wark about the elect."
+Whether Mrs. Glibbans thought this had any allusion to herself is not
+susceptible of legal proof; but she turned round and looked at their
+"most kind hostess" with a sneer that might almost merit the appellation
+of a snort. Mrs. Craig, however, pacified her, by proposing, "that,
+before hearing the letter, they should take a dram of wine, or pree her
+cherry bounce"--adding, "our maister likes a been house, and ye a' ken
+that we are providing for a handling." The wine was accordingly served,
+and, in due time, Miss Mally Glencairn edified and instructed the party
+with the contents of Mrs. Pringle's letter.
+
+
+
+LETTER XXVI
+
+
+ _Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn_
+
+DEAR MISS MALLY--You will have heard, by the peppers, of the gret
+hobbleshow heer aboot the queen's coming over contrary to the will of the
+nation; and, that the king and parlement are so angry with her, that they
+are going to put her away by giving to her a bill of divorce. The
+Doctor, who has been searchin the Scriptures on the okashon, says this is
+not in their poor, although she was found guilty of the fact; but I tell
+him, that as the king and parlement of old took upon them to change our
+religion, I do not see how they will be hampered now by the word of God.
+
+You may well wonder that I have no ritten to you about the king, and what
+he is like, but we have never got a sight of him at all, whilk is a gret
+shame, paying so dear as we do for a king, who shurely should be a publik
+man. But, we have seen her majesty, who stays not far from our house
+heer in Baker Street, in dry lodgings, which, I am creditably informed,
+she is obligated to pay for by the week, for nobody will trust her; so
+you see what it is, Miss Mally, to have a light character. Poor woman,
+they say she might have been going from door to door, with a staff and a
+meal pock, but for ane Mr. Wood, who is a baillie of London, that has
+ta'en her by the hand. She's a woman advanced in life, with a short
+neck, and a pentit face; housomever, that, I suppose, she canno help,
+being a queen, and obligated to set the fashons to the court, where it is
+necessar to hide their faces with pent, our Andrew says, that their looks
+may not betray them--there being no shurer thing than a false-hearted
+courtier.
+
+But what concerns me the most, in all this, is, that there will be no
+coronashon till the queen is put out of the way--and nobody can take upon
+them to say when that will be, as the law is so dootful and
+endless--which I am verra sorry for, as it was my intent to rite Miss
+Nanny Eydent a true account of the coronashon, in case there had been any
+partiklars that might be servisable to her in her bisness.
+
+The Doctor and me, by ourselves, since we have been settlt, go about at
+our convenience, and have seen far mae farlies than baith Andrew and
+Rachel, with all the acquaintance they have forgathert with--but you no
+old heeds canno be expectit on young shouthers, and they have not had the
+experience of the world that we have had.
+
+The lamps in the streets here are lighted with gauze, and not with
+crusies, like those that have lately been put up in your toun; and it is
+brought in pips aneath the ground from the manufactors, which the Doctor
+and me have been to see--an awful place--and they say as fey to a spark
+as poother, which made us glad to get out o't when we heard so;--and we
+have been to see a brew-house, where they mak the London porter, but it
+is a sight not to be told. In it we saw a barrel, whilk the Doctor said
+was by gauging bigger than the Irvine muckle kirk, and a masking fat,
+like a barn for mugnited. But all thae were as nothing to a curiosity of
+a steam-ingine, that minches minch collops as natural as life--and stuffs
+the sosogees itself, in a manner past the poor of nature to consiv. They
+have, to be shure, in London, many things to help work--for in our
+kitchen there is a smoking-jack to roast the meat, that gangs of its oun
+free will, and the brisker the fire, the faster it runs; but a
+potatoe-beetle is not to be had within the four walls of London, which is
+a great want in a house; Mrs. Argent never hard of sic a thing.
+
+Me and the Doctor have likewise been in the Houses of Parliament, and the
+Doctor since has been again to heer the argol-bargoling aboot the queen.
+But, cepting the king's throne, which is all gold and velvet, with a
+croun on the top, and stars all round, there was nothing worth the
+looking at in them baith. Howsomever, I sat in the king's seat, and in
+the preses chair of the House of Commons, which, you no, is something for
+me to say; and we have been to see the printing of books, where the very
+smallest dividual syllib is taken up by itself and made into words by the
+hand, so as to be quite confounding how it could ever read sense. But
+there is ane piece of industry and froughgalaty I should not forget,
+whilk is wives going about with whirl-barrows, selling horses' flesh to
+the cats and dogs by weight, and the cats and dogs know them very well by
+their voices. In short, Miss Mally, there is nothing heer that the hand
+is not turnt to; and there is, I can see, a better order and method
+really among the Londoners than among our Scotch folks, notwithstanding
+their advantages of edicashion, but my pepper will hold no more at
+present, from your true friend,
+
+ JANET PRINGLE.
+
+There was a considerable diversity of opinion among the commentators on
+this epistle. Mrs. Craig was the first who broke silence, and displayed
+a great deal of erudition on the minch-collop-engine, and the
+potatoe-beetle, in which she was interrupted by the indignant Mrs.
+Glibbans, who exclaimed, "I am surprised to hear you, Mrs. Craig, speak
+of sic baubles, when the word of God's in danger of being controverted by
+an Act of Parliament. But, Mr. Snodgrass, dinna ye think that this
+painting of the queen's face is a Jezebitical testification against her?"
+Mr. Snodgrass replied, with an unwonted sobriety of manner, and with an
+emphasis that showed he intended to make some impression on his
+auditors--"It is impossible to judge correctly of strangers by measuring
+them according to our own notions of propriety. It has certainly long
+been a practice in courts to disfigure the beauty of the human
+countenance with paint; but what, in itself, may have been originally
+assumed for a mask or disguise, may, by usage, have grown into a very
+harmless custom. I am not, therefore, disposed to attach any criminal
+importance to the circumstance of her majesty wearing paint. Her late
+majesty did so herself." "I do not say it was criminal," said Mrs.
+Glibbans; "I only meant it was sinful, and I think it is." The accent of
+authority in which this was said, prevented Mr. Snodgrass from offering
+any reply; and, a brief pause ensuing, Miss Molly Glencairn observed,
+that it was a surprising thing how the Doctor and Mrs. Pringle managed
+their matters so well. "Ay," said Mrs. Craig, "but we a' ken what a
+manager the mistress is--she's the bee that mak's the hincy--she does not
+gang bizzing aboot, like a thriftless wasp, through her neighbours'
+houses." "I tell you, Betty, my dear," cried Mr. Craig, "that you
+shouldna make comparisons--what's past is gane--and Mrs. Glibbans and you
+maun now be friends." "They're a' friends to me that's no faes, and am
+very glad to see Mrs. Glibbans sociable in my house; but she needna hae
+made sae light of me when she was here before." And, in saying this, the
+amiable hostess burst into a loud sob of sorrow, which induced Mr.
+Snodgrass to beg Mr. Micklewham to read the Doctor's letter, by which a
+happy stop was put to the further manifestation of the grudge which Mrs.
+Craig harboured against Mrs. Glibbans for the lecture she had received,
+on what the latter called "the incarnated effect of a more than
+Potipharian claught o' the godly Mr. Craig."
+
+
+
+LETTER XXVII
+
+
+ _The Rev. Z. Pringle_, _D.D._, _to Mr. Micklewham_, _Schoolmaster and
+ Session-Clerk of Garnock_
+
+DEAR SIR--I had a great satisfaction in hearing that Mr. Snodgrass, in my
+place, prays for the queen on the Lord's Day, which liberty, to do in our
+national church, is a thing to be upholden with a fearless spirit, even
+with the spirit of martyrdom, that we may not bow down in Scotland to the
+prelatic Baal of an order in Council, whereof the Archbishop of
+Canterbury, that is cousin-german to the Pope of Rome, is art and part.
+Verily, the sending forth of that order to the General Assembly was
+treachery to the solemn oath of the new king, whereby he took the vows
+upon him, conform to the Articles of the Union, to maintain the Church of
+Scotland as by law established, so that for the Archbishop of Canterbury
+to meddle therein was a shooting out of the horns of aggressive
+domination.
+
+I think it is right of me to testify thus much, through you, to the
+Session, that the elders may stand on their posts to bar all such
+breaking in of the Episcopalian boar into our corner of the vineyard.
+
+Anent the queen's case and condition, I say nothing; for be she guilty,
+or be she innocent, we all know that she was born in sin, and brought
+forth in iniquity--prone to evil, as the sparks fly upwards--and
+desperately wicked, like you and me, or any other poor Christian sinner,
+which is reason enough to make us think of her in the remembering prayer.
+
+Since she came over, there has been a wonderful work doing here; and it
+is thought that the crown will be taken off her head by a strong handling
+of the Parliament; and really, when I think of the bishops sitting high
+in the peerage, like owls and rooks in the bartisans of an old tower, I
+have my fears that they can bode her no good. I have seen them in the
+House of Lords, clothed in their idolatrous robes; and when I looked at
+them so proudly placed at the right hand of the king's throne, and on the
+side of the powerful, egging on, as I saw one of them doing in a whisper,
+the Lord Liverpool, before he rose to speak against the queen, the blood
+ran cold in my veins, and I thought of their woeful persecutions of our
+national church, and prayed inwardly that I might be keepit in the
+humility of a zealous presbyter, and that the corruption of the frail
+human nature within me might never be tempted by the pampered whoredoms
+of prelacy.
+
+Saving the Lord Chancellor, all the other temporal peers were just as
+they had come in from the crown of the causeway--none of them having a
+judicial garment, which was a shame; and as for the Chancellor's long
+robe, it was not so good as my own gown; but he is said to be a very
+narrow man. What he spoke, however, was no doubt sound law; yet I could
+observe he has a bad custom of taking the name of God in vain, which I
+wonder at, considering he has such a kittle conscience, which, on less
+occasions, causes him often to shed tears.
+
+Mrs. Pringle and me, by ourselves, had a fine quiet canny sight of the
+queen, out of the window of a pastry baxter's shop, opposite to where her
+majesty stays. She seems to be a plump and jocose little woman; gleg,
+blithe, and throwgaun for her years, and on an easy footing with the
+lower orders--coming to the window when they call for her, and becking to
+them, which is very civil of her, and gets them to take her part against
+the government.
+
+The baxter in whose shop we saw this told us that her majesty said, on
+being invited to take her dinner at an inn on the road from Dover, that
+she would be content with a mutton-chop at the King's Arms in London, {2}
+which shows that she is a lady of a very hamely disposition. Mrs.
+Pringle thought her not big enough for a queen; but we cannot expect
+every one to be like that bright accidental star, Queen Elizabeth, whose
+effigy we have seen preserved in armour in the Tower of London, and in
+wax in Westminster Abbey, where they have a living-like likeness of Lord
+Nelson, in the very identical regimentals that he was killed in. They
+are both wonderful places, but it costs a power of money to get through
+them, and all the folk about them think of nothing but money; for when I
+inquired, with a reverent spirit, seeing around me the tombs of great and
+famous men, the mighty and wise of their day, what department it was of
+the Abbey--"It's the eighteenpence department," said an uncircumcised
+Philistine, with as little respect as if we had been treading the courts
+of the darling Dagon.
+
+Our concerns here are now drawing to a close; but before we return, we
+are going for a short time to a town on the seaside, which they call
+Brighton. We had a notion of taking a trip to Paris, but that we must
+leave to Andrew Pringle, my son, and his sister Rachel, if the bit lassie
+could get a decent gudeman, which maybe will cast up for her before we
+leave London. Nothing, however, is settled as yet upon that head, so I
+can say no more at present anent the same.
+
+Since the affair of the sermon, I have withdrawn myself from trafficking
+so much as I did in the missionary and charitable ploys that are so in
+vogue with the pious here, which will be all the better for my own
+people, as I will keep for them what I was giving to the unknown; and it
+is my design to write a book on almsgiving, to show in what manner that
+Christian duty may be best fulfilled, which I doubt not will have the
+effect of opening the eyes of many in London to the true nature of the
+thing by which I was myself beguiled in this Vanity Fair, like a bird
+ensnared by the fowler.
+
+I was concerned to hear of poor Mr. Witherspoon's accident, in falling
+from his horse in coming from the Dalmailing occasion. How thankful he
+must be, that the Lord made his head of a durability to withstand the
+shock, which might otherwise have fractured his skull. What you say
+about the promise of the braird gives me pleasure on account of the poor;
+but what will be done with the farmers and their high rents, if the
+harvest turn out so abundant? Great reason have I to be thankful that
+the legacy has put me out of the reverence of my stipend; for when the
+meal was cheap, I own to you that I felt my carnality grudging the horn
+of abundance that the Lord was then pouring into the lap of the earth.
+In short, Mr. Micklewham, I doubt it is o'er true with us all, that the
+less we are tempted, the better we are; so with my sincere prayers that
+you may be delivered from all evil, and led out of the paths of
+temptation, whether it is on the highway, or on the footpaths, or beneath
+the hedges, I remain, dear sir, your friend and pastor,
+
+ ZACHARIAH PRINGLE.
+
+"The Doctor," said Mrs. Glibbans, as the schoolmaster concluded, "is
+there like himself--a true orthodox Christian, standing up for the word,
+and overflowing with charity even for the sinner. But, Mr. Snodgrass, I
+did not ken before that the bishops had a hand in the making of the Acts
+of the Parliament; I think, Mr. Snodgrass, if that be the case, there
+should be some doubt in Scotland about obeying them. However that may
+be, sure am I that the queen, though she was a perfect Deliah, has
+nothing to fear from them; for have we not read in the Book of Martyrs,
+and other church histories, of their concubines and indulgences, in the
+papist times, to all manner of carnal iniquity? But if she be that
+noghty woman that they say"--"Gude safe's," cried Mrs. Craig, "if she be
+a noghty woman, awa' wi' her, awa' wi' her--wha kens the cantrips she may
+play us?"
+
+Here Miss Mally Glencairn interposed, and informed Mrs. Craig, that a
+noghty woman was not, as she seemed to think, a witch wife. "I am sure,"
+said Miss Becky Glibbans, "that Mrs. Craig might have known that." "Oh,
+ye're a spiteful deevil," whispered Miss Mally, with a smile to her; and
+turning in the same moment to Miss Isabella Tod, begged her to read Miss
+Pringle's letter--a motion which Mr. Snodgrass seconded chiefly to
+abridge the conversation, during which, though he wore a serene
+countenance, he often suffered much.
+
+
+
+LETTER XXVIII
+
+
+ _Miss Rachel Pringle to Miss Isabella Tod_
+
+MY DEAR BELL--I am much obliged by your kind expressions for my little
+present. I hope soon to send you something better, and gloves at the
+same time; for Sabre has been brought to the point by an alarm for the
+Yorkshire baronet that I mentioned, as showing symptoms of the tender
+passion for my fortune. The friends on both sides being satisfied with
+the match, it will take place as soon as some preliminary arrangements
+are made. When we are settled, I hope your mother will allow you to come
+and spend some time with us at our country-seat in Berkshire; and I shall
+be happy to repay all the expenses of your journey, as a jaunt to England
+is what your mother would, I know, never consent to pay for.
+
+It is proposed that, immediately after the ceremony, we shall set out for
+France, accompanied by my brother, where we are to be soon after joined
+at Paris by some of the Argents, who, I can see, think Andrew worth the
+catching for Miss. My father and mother will then return to Scotland;
+but whether the Doctor will continue to keep his parish, or give it up to
+Mr. Snodgrass, will depend greatly on the circumstances in which he finds
+his parishioners. This is all the domestic intelligence I have got to
+give, but its importance will make up for other deficiencies.
+
+As to the continuance of our discoveries in London, I know not well what
+to say. Every day brings something new, but we lose the sense of
+novelty. Were a fire in the same street where we live, it would no
+longer alarm me. A few nights ago, as we were sitting in the parlour
+after supper, the noise of an engine passing startled us all; we ran to
+the windows--there was haste and torches, and the sound of other engines,
+and all the horrors of a conflagration reddening the skies. My father
+sent out the footboy to inquire where it was; and when the boy came back,
+he made us laugh, by snapping his fingers, and saying the fire was not
+worth so much--although, upon further inquiry, we learnt that the house
+in which it originated was burnt to the ground. You see, therefore, how
+the bustle of this great world hardens the sensibilities, but I trust its
+influence will never extend to my heart.
+
+The principal topic of conversation at present is about the queen. The
+Argents, who are our main instructors in the proprieties of London life,
+say that it would be very vulgar in me to go to look at her, which I am
+sorry for, as I wish above all things to see a personage so illustrious
+by birth, and renowned by misfortune. The Doctor and my mother, who are
+less scrupulous, and who, in consequence, somehow, by themselves,
+contrive to see, and get into places that are inaccessible to all
+gentility, have had a full view of her majesty. My father has since
+become her declared partisan, and my mother too has acquired a leaning
+likewise towards her side of the question; but neither of them will
+permit the subject to be spoken of before me, as they consider it
+detrimental to good morals. I, however, read the newspapers.
+
+What my brother thinks of her majesty's case is not easy to divine; but
+Sabre is convinced of the queen's guilt, upon some private and authentic
+information which a friend of his, who has returned from Italy, heard
+when travelling in that country. This information he has not, however,
+repeated to me, so that it must be very bad. We shall know all when the
+trial comes on. In the meantime, his majesty, who has lived in dignified
+retirement since he came to the throne, has taken up his abode, with
+rural felicity, in a cottage in Windsor Forest; where he now, contemning
+all the pomp and follies of his youth, and this metropolis, passes his
+days amidst his cabbages, like Dioclesian, with innocence and
+tranquillity, far from the intrigues of courtiers, and insensible to the
+murmuring waves of the fluctuating populace, that set in with so strong a
+current towards "the mob-led queen," as the divine Shakespeare has so
+beautifully expressed it.
+
+You ask me about Vauxhall Gardens;--I have not seen them--they are no
+longer in fashion--the theatres are quite vulgar--even the opera-house
+has sunk into a second-rate place of resort. Almack's balls, the
+Argyle-rooms, and the Philharmonic concerts, are the only public
+entertainments frequented by people of fashion; and this high superiority
+they owe entirely to the difficulty of gaining admission. London, as my
+brother says, is too rich, and grown too luxurious, to have any exclusive
+place of fashionable resort, where price alone is the obstacle. Hence,
+the institution of these select aristocratic assemblies. The
+Philharmonic concerts, however, are rather professional than fashionable
+entertainments; but everybody is fond of music, and, therefore,
+everybody, that can be called anybody, is anxious to get tickets to them;
+and this anxiety has given them a degree of _eclat_, which I am persuaded
+the performance would never have excited had the tickets been purchasable
+at any price. The great thing here is, either to be somebody, or to be
+patronised by a person that is a somebody; without this, though you were
+as rich as Croesus, your golden chariots, like the comets of a season,
+blazing and amazing, would speedily roll away into the obscurity from
+which they came, and be remembered no more.
+
+At first when we came here, and when the amount of our legacy was first
+promulgated, we were in a terrible flutter. Andrew became a man of
+fashion, with all the haste that tailors, and horses, and dinners, could
+make him. My father, honest man, was equally inspired with lofty ideas,
+and began a career that promised a liberal benefaction of good things to
+the poor--and my mother was almost distracted with calculations about
+laying out the money to the best advantage, and the sum she would allow
+to be spent. I alone preserved my natural equanimity; and foreseeing the
+necessity of new accomplishments to suit my altered circumstances,
+applied myself to the instructions of my masters, with an assiduity that
+won their applause. The advantages of this I now experience--my brother
+is sobered from his champaign fumes--my father has found out that charity
+begins at home--and my mother, though her establishment is enlarged,
+finds her happiness, notwithstanding the legacy, still lies within the
+little circle of her household cares. Thus, my dear Bell, have I proved
+the sweets of a true philosophy; and, unseduced by the blandishments of
+rank, rejected Sir Marmaduke Towler, and accepted the humbler but more
+disinterested swain, Captain Sabre, who requests me to send you his
+compliments, not altogether content that you should occupy so much of the
+bosom of your affectionate
+
+ RACHEL PRINGLE.
+
+"Rachel had ay a gude roose of hersel'," said Becky Glibbans, as Miss
+Isabella concluded. In the same moment, Mr. Snodgrass took his leave,
+saying to Mr. Micklewham, that he had something particular to mention to
+him. "What can it be about?" inquired Mrs. Glibbans at Mr. Craig, as
+soon as the helper and schoolmaster had left the room: "Do you think it
+can be concerning the Doctor's resignation of the parish in his favour?"
+"I'm sure," interposed Mrs. Craig, before her husband could reply, "it
+winna be wi' my gudewill that he shall come in upon us--a pridefu' wight,
+whose saft words, and a' his politeness, are but lip-deep; na, na, Mrs.
+Glibbans, we maun hae another on the leet forbye him."
+
+"And wha would ye put on the leet noo, Mrs. Craig, you that's sic a
+judge?" said Mrs. Glibbans, with the most ineffable consequentiality.
+
+"I'll be for young Mr. Dirlton, who is baith a sappy preacher of the
+word, and a substantial hand at every kind of civility."
+
+"Young Dirlton!--young Deevilton!" cried the orthodox Deborah of Irvine;
+"a fallow that knows no more of a gospel dispensation than I do of the
+Arian heresy, which I hold in utter abomination. No, Mrs. Craig, you
+have a godly man for your husband--a sound and true follower; tread ye in
+his footsteps, and no try to set up yoursel' on points of doctrine. But
+it's time, Miss Mally, that we were taking the road; Becky and Miss
+Isabella, make yourselves ready. Noo, Mrs. Craig, ye'll no be a
+stranger; you see I have no been lang of coming to give you my
+countenance; but, my leddy, ca' canny, it's no easy to carry a fu' cup;
+ye hae gotten a great gift in your gudeman. Mr. Craig, I wish you a
+good-night; I would fain have stopped for your evening exercise, but Miss
+Mally was beginning, I saw, to weary--so good-night; and, Mrs. Craig,
+ye'll take tent of what I have said--it's for your gude." So exeunt Mrs.
+Glibbans, Miss Mally, and the two young ladies. "Her bark's waur than
+her bite," said Mrs. Craig, as she returned to her husband, who felt
+already some of the ourie symptoms of a henpecked destiny.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER IX--THE MARRIAGE
+
+
+Mr. Snodgrass was obliged to walk into Irvine one evening, to get rid of
+a raging tooth, which had tormented him for more than a week. The
+operation was so delicately and cleverly performed by the surgeon to whom
+he applied--one of those young medical gentlemen, who, after having been
+educated for the army or navy, are obliged, in this weak piping time of
+peace, to glean what practice they can amid their native shades--that the
+amiable divine found himself in a condition to call on Miss Isabella Tod.
+
+During this visit, Saunders Dickie, the postman, brought a London letter
+to the door, for Miss Isabella; and Mr. Snodgrass having desired the
+servant to inquire if there were any for him, had the good fortune to get
+the following from Mr. Andrew Pringle:--
+
+
+
+LETTER XXIX
+
+
+ _Andrew Pringle Esq._, _to the Rev. Mr. Charles Snodgrass_
+
+My Dear Friend--I never receive a letter from you without experiencing a
+strong emotion of regret, that talents like yours should be wilfully
+consigned to the sequestered vegetation of a country pastor's life. But
+we have so often discussed this point, that I shall only offend your
+delicacy if I now revert to it more particularly. I cannot, however, but
+remark, that although a private station may be the happiest, a public is
+the proper sphere of virtue and talent, so clear, superior, and decided
+as yours. I say this with the more confidence, as I have really, from
+your letter, obtained a better conception of the queen's case, than from
+all that I have been able to read and hear upon the subject in London.
+The rule you lay down is excellent. Public safety is certainly the only
+principle which can justify mankind in agreeing to observe and enforce
+penal statutes; and, therefore, I think with you, that unless it could be
+proved in a very simple manner, that it was requisite for the public
+safety to institute proceedings against the queen--her sins or
+indiscretions should have been allowed to remain in the obscurity of her
+private circle.
+
+I have attended the trial several times. For a judicial proceeding, it
+seems to me too long--and for a legislative, too technical. Brougham, it
+is allowed, has displayed even greater talent than was expected; but he
+is too sharp; he seems to me more anxious to gain a triumph, than to
+establish truth. I do not like the tone of his proceedings, while I
+cannot sufficiently admire his dexterity. The style of Denman is more
+lofty, and impressed with stronger lineaments of sincerity. As for their
+opponents, I really cannot endure the Attorney-General as an orator; his
+whole mind consists, as it were, of a number of little hands and
+claws--each of which holds some scrap or portion of his subject; but you
+might as well expect to get an idea of the form and character of a tree,
+by looking at the fallen leaves, the fruit, the seeds, and the blossoms,
+as anything like a comprehensive view of a subject, from an intellect so
+constituted as that of Sir Robert Gifford. He is a man of application,
+but of meagre abilities, and seems never to have read a book of travels
+in his life. The Solicitor-General is somewhat better; but he is one of
+those who think a certain artificial gravity requisite to professional
+consequence; and which renders him somewhat obtuse in the tact of
+propriety.
+
+Within the bar, the talent is superior to what it is without; and I have
+been often delighted with the amazing fineness, if I may use the
+expression, with which the Chancellor discriminates the shades of
+difference in the various points on which he is called to deliver his
+opinion. I consider his mind as a curiosity of no ordinary kind. It
+deceives itself by its own acuteness. The edge is too sharp; and,
+instead of cutting straight through, it often diverges--alarming his
+conscience with the dread of doing wrong. This singular subtlety has the
+effect of impairing the reverence which the endowments and high
+professional accomplishments of this great man are otherwise calculated
+to inspire. His eloquence is not effective--it touches no feeling nor
+affects any passion; but still it affords wonderful displays of a lucid
+intellect. I can compare it to nothing but a pencil of sunshine; in
+which, although one sees countless motes flickering and fluctuating, it
+yet illuminates, and steadily brings into the most satisfactory
+distinctness, every object on which it directly falls.
+
+Lord Erskine is a character of another class, and whatever difference of
+opinion may exist with respect to their professional abilities and
+attainments, it will be allowed by those who contend that Eldon is the
+better lawyer--that Erskine is the greater genius. Nature herself, with
+a constellation in her hand, playfully illuminates his path to the temple
+of reasonable justice; while Precedence with her guide-book, and Study
+with a lantern, cautiously show the road in which the Chancellor warily
+plods his weary way to that of legal Equity. The sedateness of Eldon is
+so remarkable, that it is difficult to conceive that he was ever young;
+but Erskine cannot grow old; his spirit is still glowing and flushed with
+the enthusiasm of youth. When impassioned, his voice acquires a
+singularly elevated and pathetic accent; and I can easily conceive the
+irresistible effect he must have had on the minds of a jury, when he was
+in the vigour of his physical powers, and the case required appeals of
+tenderness or generosity. As a parliamentary orator, Earl Grey is
+undoubtedly his superior; but there is something much less popular and
+conciliating in his manner. His eloquence is heard to most advantage
+when he is contemptuous; and he is then certainly dignified, ardent, and
+emphatic; but it is apt, I should think, to impress those who hear him,
+for the first time, with an idea that he is a very supercilious
+personage, and this unfavourable impression is liable to be strengthened
+by the elegant aristocratic languor of his appearance.
+
+I think that you once told me you had some knowledge of the Marquis of
+Lansdowne, when he was Lord Henry Petty. I can hardly hope that, after
+an interval of so many years, you will recognise him in the following
+sketch:--His appearance is much more that of a Whig than Lord Grey--stout
+and sturdy--but still withal gentlemanly; and there is a pleasing
+simplicity, with somewhat of good-nature, in the expression of his
+countenance, that renders him, in a quiescent state, the more agreeable
+character of the two. He speaks exceedingly well--clear, methodical, and
+argumentative; but his eloquence, like himself, is not so graceful as it
+is upon the whole manly; and there is a little tendency to verbosity in
+his language, as there is to corpulency in his figure; but nothing
+turgid, while it is entirely free from affectation. The character of
+respectable is very legibly impressed, in everything about the mind and
+manner of his lordship. I should, now that I have seen and heard him, be
+astonished to hear such a man represented as capable of being factious.
+
+I should say something about Lord Liverpool, not only on account of his
+rank as a minister, but also on account of the talents which have
+qualified him for that high situation. The greatest objection that I
+have to him as a speaker, is owing to the loudness of his voice--in other
+respects, what he does say is well digested. But I do not think that he
+embraces his subject with so much power and comprehension as some of his
+opponents; and he has evidently less actual experience of the world.
+This may doubtless be attributed to his having been almost constantly in
+office since he came into public life; than which nothing is more
+detrimental to the unfolding of natural ability, while it induces a sort
+of artificial talent, connected with forms and technicalities, which,
+though useful in business, is but of minor consequence in a comparative
+estimate of moral and intellectual qualities. I am told that in his
+manner he resembles Mr. Pitt; be this, however, as it may, he is
+evidently a speaker, formed more by habit and imitation, than one whom
+nature prompts to be eloquent. He lacks that occasional accent of
+passion, the melody of oratory; and I doubt if, on any occasion, he could
+at all approximate to that magnificent intrepidity which was admired as
+one of the noblest characteristics of his master's style.
+
+But all the display of learning and eloquence, and intellectual power and
+majesty of the House of Lords, shrinks into insignificance when compared
+with the moral attitude which the people have taken on this occasion.
+You know how much I have ever admired the attributes of the English
+national character--that boundless generosity, which can only be compared
+to the impartial benevolence of the sunshine--that heroic magnanimity,
+which makes the hand ever ready to succour a fallen foe; and that sublime
+courage, which rises with the energy of a conflagration roused by a
+tempest, at every insult or menace of an enemy. The compassionate
+interest taken by the populace in the future condition of the queen is
+worthy of this extraordinary people. There may be many among them
+actuated by what is called the radical spirit; but malignity alone would
+dare to ascribe the bravery of their compassion to a less noble feeling
+than that which has placed the kingdom so proudly in the van of all
+modern nations. There may be an amiable delusion, as my Lord Castlereagh
+has said, in the popular sentiments with respect to the queen. Upon
+that, as upon her case, I offer no opinion. It is enough for me to have
+seen, with the admiration of a worshipper, the manner in which the
+multitude have espoused her cause.
+
+But my paper is filled, and I must conclude. I should, however, mention
+that my sister's marriage is appointed to take place to-morrow, and that
+I accompany the happy pair to France.--Yours truly,
+
+ ANDREW PRINGLE.
+
+"This is a dry letter," said Mr. Snodgrass, and he handed it to Miss
+Isabella, who, in exchange, presented the one which she had herself at
+the same time received; but just as Mr. Snodgrass was on the point of
+reading it, Miss Becky Glibbans was announced. "How lucky this is,"
+exclaimed Miss Becky, "to find you both thegither! Now you maun tell me
+all the particulars; for Miss Mally Glencairn is no in, and her letter
+lies unopened. I am just gasping to hear how Rachel conducted herself at
+being married in the kirk before all the folk--married to the hussar
+captain, too, after all! who would have thought it?"
+
+"How, have you heard of the marriage already?" said Miss Isabella. "Oh,
+it's in the newspapers," replied the amiable inquisitant,--"Like ony
+tailor or weaver's--a' weddings maun nowadays gang into the papers. The
+whole toun, by this time, has got it; and I wouldna wonder if Rachel
+Pringle's marriage ding the queen's divorce out of folk's heads for the
+next nine days to come. But only to think of her being married in a
+public kirk. Surely her father would never submit to hae't done by a
+bishop? And then to put it in the London paper, as if Rachel Pringle had
+been somebody of distinction. Perhaps it might have been more to the
+purpose, considering what dragoon officers are, if she had got the doited
+Doctor, her father, to publish the intended marriage in the papers
+beforehand."
+
+"Haud that condumacious tongue of yours," cried a voice, panting with
+haste as the door opened, and Mrs. Glibbans entered. "Becky, will you
+never devawl wi' your backbiting. I wonder frae whom the misleart lassie
+takes a' this passion of clashing."
+
+The authority of her parent's tongue silenced Miss Becky, and Mrs.
+Glibbans having seated herself, continued,--"Is it your opinion, Mr.
+Snodgrass, that this marriage can hold good, contracted, as I am told it
+is mentioned in the papers to hae been, at the horns of the altar of
+Episcopalian apostacy?"
+
+"I can set you right as to that," said Miss Isabella. "Rachel mentions,
+that, after returning from the church, the Doctor himself performed the
+ceremony anew, according to the Presbyterian usage." "I am glad to
+heart, very glad indeed," said Mrs. Glibbans. "It would have been a
+judgment-like thing, had a bairn of Dr. Pringle's--than whom, although
+there may be abler, there is not a sounder man in a' the West of
+Scotland--been sacrificed to Moloch, like the victims of prelatic
+idolatry."
+
+At this juncture, Miss Mally Glencairn was announced: she entered,
+holding a letter from Mrs. Pringle in her hand, with the seal unbroken.
+Having heard of the marriage from an acquaintance in the street, she had
+hurried home, in the well-founded expectation of hearing from her friend
+and well-wisher, and taking up the letter, which she found on her table,
+came with all speed to Miss Isabella Tod to commune with her on the
+tidings.
+
+Never was any confluence of visitors more remarkable than on this
+occasion. Before Miss Mally had well explained the cause of her abrupt
+intrusion, Mr. Micklewham made his appearance. He had come to Irvine to
+be measured for a new coat, and meeting by accident with Saunders Dickie,
+got the Doctor's letter from him, which, after reading, he thought he
+could do no less than call at Mrs. Tod's, to let Miss Isabella know the
+change which had taken place in the condition of her friend.
+
+Thus were all the correspondents of the Pringles assembled, by the merest
+chance, like the _dramatis personae_ at the end of a play. After a
+little harmless bantering, it was agreed that Miss Mally should read her
+communication first--as all the others were previously acquainted with
+the contents of their respective letters, and Miss Mally read as
+follows:--
+
+
+
+LETTER XXX
+
+
+ _Mrs. Pringle to Miss Mally Glencairn_
+
+DEAR MISS MALLY--I hav a cro to pik with you conserning yoor comishon
+aboot the partickels for your friends. You can hav no noshon what the
+Doctor and me suffert on the head of the flooring shrubs. We took your
+Nota Beny as it was spilt, and went from shop to shop enquirin in a most
+partiklar manner for "a Gardner's Bell, or the least of all flowering
+plants"; but sorrow a gardner in the whole tot here in London ever had
+heard of sic a thing; so we gave the porshoot up in despare. Howsomever,
+one of Andrew's acquaintance--a decent lad, who is only son to a saddler
+in a been way, that keeps his own carriage, and his son a coryikel,
+happent to call, and the Doctor told him what ill socsess we had in our
+serch for the gardner's bell; upon which he sought a sight of your
+yepissle, and read it as a thing that was just wonderful for its
+whorsogroffie; and then he sayid, that looking at the prinsipol of your
+spilling, he thought we should reed, "a gardner's bill, or a list of all
+flooring plants"; whilk being no doot your intent, I have proqurt the
+same, and it is included heerin. But, Miss Mally, I would advize you to
+be more exac in your inditing, that no sic torbolashon may hippen on a
+future okashon.
+
+What I hav to say for the present is, that you will, by a smak, get a
+bocks of kumoddities, whilk you will destraboot as derekit on every on of
+them, and you will before have resievit by the post-offis, an account of
+what has been don. I need say no forther at this time, knowin your
+discreshon and prooduns, septs that our Rachel and Captain Sabor will, if
+it pleese the Lord, be off to Parish, by way of Bryton, as man and wife,
+the morn's morning. What her father the Doctor gives for tocher, what is
+settlt on her for jontor, I will tell you all aboot when we meet; for
+it's our dishire noo to lose no tim in retorning to the manse, this being
+the last of our diplomaticals in London, where we have found the Argents
+a most discrit family, payin to the last farding the Cornal's legacy, and
+most seevil, and well bred to us.
+
+As I am naterally gretly okypt with this matteromoneal afair, you cannot
+expect ony news; but the queen is going on with a dreadful rat, by which
+the pesents hav falen more than a whole entirr pesent. I wish our fonds
+were well oot of them, and in yird and stane, which is a constansie. But
+what is to become of the poor donsie woman, no one can expound. Some
+think she will be pot in the Toor of London, and her head chappit off;
+others think she will raise sic a stramash, that she will send the whole
+government into the air, like peelings of ingons, by a gunpoother plot.
+But it's my opinion, and I have weighed the matter well in my
+understanding, that she will hav to fight with sword in hand, be she ill,
+or be she good. How els can she hop to get the better of more than two
+hundred lords, as the Doctor, who has seen them, tells me, with princes
+of the blood-royal, and the prelatic bishops, whom, I need not tell you,
+are the worst of all.
+
+But the thing I grudge most, is to be so long in Lundon, and no to see
+the king. Is it not a hard thing to come to London, and no to see the
+king? I am not pleesed with him, I assure you, becose he does not set
+himself out to public view, like ony other curiosity, but stays in his
+palis, they say, like one of the anshent wooden images of idolatry, the
+which is a great peety, he beeing, as I am told, a beautiful man, and
+more the gentleman than all the coortiers of his court.
+
+The Doctor has been minting to me that there is an address from Irvine to
+the queen; and he, being so near a neighbour to your toun, has been
+thinking to pay his respecs with it, to see her near at hand. But I will
+say nothing; he may take his own way in matters of gospel and
+spiritualety; yet I have my scroopols of conshence, how this may not turn
+out a rebellyon against the king; and I would hav him to sift and see who
+are at the address, before he pits his han to it. For, if it's a radikol
+job, as I jealoos it is, what will the Doctor then say? who is an
+orthodox man, as the world nose.
+
+In the maitre of our dumesticks, no new axsident has cast up; but I have
+seen such a wonder as could not have been forethocht. Having a washin, I
+went down to see how the lassies were doing; but judge of my feelings,
+when I saw them triomphing on the top of pattons, standing upright before
+the boyns on chairs, rubbin the clothes to juggins between their hands,
+above the sapples, with their gouns and stays on, and round-cared
+mutches. What would you think of such a miracle at the washing-house in
+the Goffields, or the Gallows-knows of Irvine? The cook, howsomever, has
+shown me a way to make rice-puddings without eggs, by putting in a bit of
+shoohet, which is as good--and this you will tell Miss Nanny Eydent;
+likewise, that the most fashionable way of boiling green pis, is to pit a
+blade of spearmint in the pot, which gives a fine flavour. But this is a
+long letter, and my pepper is done; so no more, but remains your friend
+and well-wisher,
+
+ JANET PRINGLE.
+
+"A great legacy, and her dochtir married, in ae journey to London, is
+doing business," said Mrs. Glibbans, with a sigh, as she looked to her
+only get, Miss Becky; "but the Lord's will is to be done in a'
+thing;--sooner or later something of the same kind will come, I trust, to
+all our families." "Ay," replied Miss Mally Glencairn, "marriage is like
+death--it's what we are a' to come to."
+
+"I have my doubts of that," said Miss Becky with a sneer. "Ye have been
+lang spair't from it, Miss Mally."
+
+"Ye're a spiteful puddock; and if the men hae the e'en and lugs they used
+to hae, gude pity him whose lot is cast with thine, Becky Glibbans,"
+replied the elderly maiden ornament of the Kirkgate, somewhat tartly.
+
+Here Mr. Snodgrass interposed, and said, he would read to them the letter
+which Miss Isabella had received from the bride; and without waiting for
+their concurrence, opened and read as follows:--
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXI
+
+
+ _Mrs. Sabre to Miss Isabella Tod_
+
+MY DEAREST BELL--Rachel Pringle is no more! My heart flutters as I write
+the fatal words. This morning, at nine o'clock precisely, she was
+conducted in bridal array to the new church of Mary-le-bone; and there,
+with ring and book, sacrificed to the Minotaur, Matrimony, who devours so
+many of our bravest youths and fairest maidens.
+
+My mind is too agitated to allow me to describe the scene. The office of
+handmaid to the victim, which, in our young simplicity, we had fondly
+thought one of us would perform for the other, was gracefully sustained
+by Miss Argent.
+
+On returning from church to my father's residence in Baker Street, where
+we breakfasted, he declared himself not satisfied with the formalities of
+the English ritual, and obliged us to undergo a second ceremony from
+himself, according to the wonted forms of the Scottish Church. All the
+advantages and pleasures of which, my dear Bell, I hope you will soon
+enjoy.
+
+But I have no time to enter into particulars. The captain and his lady,
+by themselves, in their own carriage, set off for Brighton in the course
+of less than an hour. On Friday they are to be followed by a large party
+of their friends and relations; and, after spending a few days in that
+emporium of salt-water pleasures, they embark, accompanied with their
+beloved brother, Mr. Andrew Pringle, for Paris; where they are afterwards
+to be joined by the Argents. It is our intention to remain about a month
+in the French capital; whether we shall extend our tour, will depend on
+subsequent circumstances: in the meantime, however, you will hear
+frequently from me.
+
+My mother, who has a thousand times during these important transactions
+wished for the assistance of Nanny Eydent, transmits to Miss Mally
+Glencairn a box containing all the requisite bridal recognisances for our
+Irvine friends. I need not say that the best is for the faithful
+companion of my happiest years. As I had made a vow in my heart that
+Becky Glibbans should never wear gloves for my marriage, I was averse to
+sending her any at all, but my mother insisted that no exceptions should
+be made. I secretly took care, however, to mark a pair for her, so much
+too large, that I am sure she will never put them on. The asp will be
+not a little vexed at the disappointment. Adieu for a time, and believe
+that, although your affectionate Rachel Pringle be gone that way in which
+she hopes you will soon follow, one not less sincerely attached to you,
+though it be the first time she has so subscribed herself, remains in
+
+ RACHEL SABRE.
+
+Before the ladies had time to say a word on the subject, the prudent
+young clergyman called immediately on Mr. Micklewham to read the letter
+which he had received from the Doctor; and which the worthy dominie did
+without delay, in that rich and full voice with which he is accustomed to
+teach his scholars elocution by example.
+
+
+
+LETTER XXXII
+
+
+ _The Rev. Z. Pringle_, _D.D._, _to Mr. Micklewham_, _Schoolmaster and
+ Session-Clerk_, _Garnock_
+ LONDON.
+
+Dear Sir--I have been much longer of replying to your letter of the 3rd
+of last month, than I ought in civility to have been, but really time, in
+this town of London, runs at a fast rate, and the day passes before the
+dark's done. What with Mrs. Pringle and her daughter's concernments,
+anent the marriage to Captain Sabre, and the trouble I felt myself
+obliged to take in the queen's affair, I assure you, Mr. Micklewham, that
+it's no to be expressed how I have been occupied for the last four weeks.
+But all things must come to a conclusion in this world. Rachel Pringle
+is married, and the queen's weary trial is brought to an end--upon the
+subject and motion of the same, I offer no opinion, for I made it a point
+never to read the evidence, being resolved to stand by THE WORD from the
+first, which is clearly and plainly written in the queen's favour, and it
+does not do in a case of conscience to stand on trifles; putting,
+therefore, out of consideration the fact libelled, and looking both at
+the head and the tail of the proceeding, I was of a firm persuasion, that
+all the sculduddery of the business might have been well spared from the
+eye of the public, which is of itself sufficiently prone to keek and
+kook, in every possible way, for a glimpse of a black story; and,
+therefore, I thought it my duty to stand up in all places against the
+trafficking that was attempted with a divine institution. And I think,
+when my people read how their prelatic enemies, the bishops (the heavens
+defend the poor Church of Scotland from being subjected to the weight of
+their paws), have been visited with a constipation of the understanding
+on that point, it must to them be a great satisfaction to know how clear
+and collected their minister was on this fundamental of society. For it
+has turned out, as I said to Mrs. Pringle, as well as others, it would
+do, that a sense of grace and religion would be manifested in some
+quarter before all was done, by which the devices for an unsanctified
+repudiation or divorce would be set at nought.
+
+As often as I could, deeming it my duty as a minister of the word and
+gospel, I got into the House of Lords, and heard the trial; and I cannot
+think how ever it was expected that justice could be done yonder; for
+although no man could be more attentive than I was, every time I came
+away I was more confounded than when I went; and when the trial was done,
+it seemed to me just to be clearing up for a proper beginning--all which
+is a proof that there was a foul conspiracy. Indeed, when I saw Duke
+Hamilton's daughter coming out of the coach with the queen, I never could
+think after, that a lady of her degree would have countenanced the queen
+had the matter laid to her charge been as it was said. Not but in any
+circumstance it behoved a lady of that ancient and royal blood, to be
+seen beside the queen in such a great historical case as a trial.
+
+I hope, in the part I have taken, my people will be satisfied; but
+whether they are satisfied or not, my own conscience is content with me.
+I was in the House of Lords when her majesty came down for the last time,
+and saw her handed up the stairs by the usher of the black-rod, a little
+stumpy man, wonderful particular about the rules of the House, insomuch
+that he was almost angry with me for stopping at the stair-head. The
+afflicted woman was then in great spirits, and I saw no symptoms of the
+swelled legs that Lord Lauderdale, that jooking man, spoke about, for she
+skippit up the steps like a lassie. But my heart was wae for her when
+all was over, for she came out like an astonished creature, with a wild
+steadfast look, and a sort of something in the face that was as if the
+rational spirit had fled away; and she went down to her coach as if she
+had submitted to be led to a doleful destiny. Then the shouting of the
+people began, and I saw and shouted too in spite of my decorum, which I
+marvel at sometimes, thinking it could be nothing less than an
+involuntary testification of the spirit within me.
+
+Anent the marriage of Rachel Pringle, it may be needful in me to state,
+for the satisfaction of my people, that although by stress of law we were
+obligated to conform to the practice of the Episcopalians, by taking out
+a bishop's license, and going to their church, and vowing, in a pagan
+fashion, before their altars, which are an abomination to the Lord; yet,
+when the young folk came home, I made them stand up, and be married again
+before me, according to all regular marriages in our national Church.
+For this I had two reasons: first, to satisfy myself that there had been
+a true and real marriage; and, secondly, to remove the doubt of the
+former ceremony being sufficient; for marriage being of divine
+appointment, and the English form and ritual being a thing established by
+Act of Parliament, which is of human ordination, I was not sure that
+marriage performed according to a human enactment could be a fulfilment
+of a divine ordinance. I therefore hope that my people will approve what
+I have done; and in order that there may be a sympathising with me, you
+will go over to Banker M---y, and get what he will give you, as ordered
+by me, and distribute it among the poorest of the parish, according to
+the best of your discretion, my long absence having taken from me the
+power of judgment in a matter of this sort. I wish indeed for the glad
+sympathy of my people, for I think that our Saviour turning water into
+wine at the wedding, was an example set that we should rejoice and be
+merry at the fulfilment of one of the great obligations imposed on us as
+social creatures; and I have ever regarded the unhonoured treatment of a
+marriage occasion as a thing of evil bodement, betokening heavy hearts
+and light purses to the lot of the bride and bridegroom. You will hear
+more from me by and by; in the meantime, all I can say is, that when we
+have taken our leave of the young folks, who are going to France, it is
+Mrs. Pringle's intent, as well as mine, to turn our horses' heads
+northward, and make our way with what speed we can, for our own quiet
+home, among you. So no more at present from your friend and pastor,
+
+ Z. PRINGLE.
+
+Mrs. Tod, the mother of Miss Isabella, a respectable widow lady, who had
+quiescently joined the company, proposed that they should now drink
+health, happiness, and all manner of prosperity, to the young couple; and
+that nothing might be wanting to secure the favourable auspices of good
+omens to the toast, she desired Miss Isabella to draw fresh bottles of
+white and red. When all manner of felicity was duly wished in wine to
+the captain and his lady, the party rose to seek their respective homes.
+But a bustle at the street-door occasioned a pause. Mrs. Tod inquired
+the matter; and three or four voices at once replied, that an express had
+come from Garnock for Nanse Swaddle the midwife, Mrs. Craig being taken
+with her pains. "Mr. Snodgrass," said Mrs. Glibbans, instantly and
+emphatically, "ye maun let me go with you, and we can spiritualise on the
+road; for I hae promis't Mrs. Craig to be wi' her at the crying, to see
+the upshot--so I hope you will come awa."
+
+It would be impossible in us to suppose, that Mr. Snodgrass had any
+objections to spiritualise with Mrs. Glibbans on the road between Irvine
+and Garnock; but, notwithstanding her urgency, he excused himself from
+going with her; however, he recommended her to the special care and
+protection of Mr. Micklewham, who was at that time on his legs to return
+home. "Oh! Mr. Snodgrass," said the lady, looking slyly, as she
+adjusted her cloak, at him and Miss Isabella, "there will be marrying and
+giving in marriage till the day of judgment." And with these oracular
+words she took her departure.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER X--THE RETURN
+
+
+On Friday, Miss Mally Glencairn received a brief note from Mrs. Pringle,
+informing her, that she and the Doctor would reach the manse, "God
+willing," in time for tea on Saturday; and begging her, therefore, to go
+over from Irvine, and see that the house was in order for their
+reception. This note was written from Glasgow, where they had arrived,
+in their own carriage, from Carlisle on the preceding day, after
+encountering, as Mrs. Pringle said, "more hardships and extorshoning than
+all the dangers of the sea which they met with in the smack of Leith that
+took them to London."
+
+As soon as Miss Mally received this intelligence, she went to Miss
+Isabella Tod, and requested her company for the next day to Garnock,
+where they arrived betimes to dine with Mr. Snodgrass. Mrs. Glibbans and
+her daughter Becky were then on a consolatory visit to Mr. Craig. We
+mentioned in the last chapter, that the crying of Mrs. Craig had come on;
+and that Mrs. Glibbans, according to promise, and with the most anxious
+solicitude, had gone to wait the upshot. The upshot was most
+melancholy,--Mrs. Craig was soon no more;--she was taken, as Mrs.
+Glibbans observed on the occasion, from the earthly arms of her husband,
+to the spiritual bosom of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, which was far
+better. But the baby survived; so that, what with getting a nurse, and
+the burial, and all the work and handling that a birth and death in one
+house at the same time causes, Mr. Craig declared, that he could not do
+without Mrs. Glibbans; and she, with all that Christianity by which she
+was so zealously distinguished, sent for Miss Becky, and took up her
+abode with him till it would please Him, without whom there is no
+comfort, to wipe the eyes of the pious elder. In a word, she staid so
+long, that a rumour began to spread that Mr. Craig would need a wife to
+look after his bairn; and that Mrs. Glibbans was destined to supply the
+desideratum.
+
+Mr. Snodgrass, after enjoying his dinner society with Miss Mally and Miss
+Isabella, thought it necessary to dispatch a courier, in the shape of a
+barefooted servant lass, to Mr. Micklewham, to inform the elders that the
+Doctor was expected home in time for tea, leaving it to their discretion
+either to greet his safe return at the manse, or in any other form or
+manner that would be most agreeable to themselves. These important news
+were soon diffused through the clachan. Mr. Micklewham dismissed his
+school an hour before the wonted time, and there was a universal interest
+and curiosity excited, to see the Doctor coming home in his own coach.
+All the boys of Garnock assembled at the braehead which commands an
+extensive view of the Kilmarnock road, the only one from Glasgow that
+runs through the parish; the wives with their sucklings were seated on
+the large stones at their respective door-cheeks; while their cats were
+calmly reclining on the window soles. The lassie weans, like clustering
+bees, were mounted on the carts that stood before Thomas Birlpenny the
+vintner's door, churming with anticipated delight; the old men took their
+stations on the dike that incloses the side of the vintner's kail-yard,
+and "a batch of wabster lads," with green aprons and thin yellow faces,
+planted themselves at the gable of the malt kiln, where they were wont,
+when trade was better, to play at the hand-ball; but, poor fellows, since
+the trade fell off, they have had no heart for the game, and the
+vintner's half-mutchkin stoups glitter in empty splendour unrequired on
+the shelf below the brazen sconce above the bracepiece, amidst the idle
+pewter pepper-boxes, the bright copper tea-kettle, the coffee-pot that
+has never been in use, and lids of saucepans that have survived their
+principals,--the wonted ornaments of every trig change-house kitchen.
+
+The season was far advanced; but the sun shone at his setting with a
+glorious composure, and the birds in the hedges and on the boughs were
+again gladdened into song. The leaves had fallen thickly, and the
+stubble-fields were bare, but Autumn, in a many-coloured tartan plaid,
+was seen still walking with matronly composure in the woodlands, along
+the brow of the neighbouring hills.
+
+About half-past four o'clock, a movement was seen among the callans at
+the braehead, and a shout announced that a carriage was in sight. It was
+answered by a murmuring response of satisfaction from the whole village.
+In the course of a few minutes the carriage reached the turnpike--it was
+of the darkest green and the gravest fashion,--a large trunk, covered
+with Russian matting, and fastened on with cords, prevented from chafing
+it by knots of straw rope, occupied the front,--behind, other two were
+fixed in the same manner, the lesser of course uppermost; and deep beyond
+a pile of light bundles and bandboxes, that occupied a large portion of
+the interior, the blithe faces of the Doctor and Mrs. Pringle were
+discovered. The boys huzzaed, the Doctor flung them penny-pieces, and
+the mistress baubees.
+
+As the carriage drove along, the old men on the dike stood up and
+reverently took off their hats and bonnets. The weaver lads gazed with a
+melancholy smile; the lassies on the carts clapped their hands with joy;
+the women on both sides of the street acknowledged the recognising nods;
+while all the village dogs, surprised by the sound of chariot wheels,
+came baying and barking forth, and sent off the cats that were so doucely
+sitting on the window soles, clambering and scampering over the roofs in
+terror of their lives.
+
+When the carriage reached the manse door, Mr. Snodgrass, the two ladies,
+with Mr. Micklewham, and all the elders except Mr. Craig, were there
+ready to receive the travellers. But over this joy of welcoming we must
+draw a veil; for the first thing that the Doctor did, on entering the
+parlour and before sitting down, was to return thanks for his safe
+restoration to his home and people.
+
+The carriage was then unloaded, and as package, bale, box, and bundle
+were successively brought in, Miss Mally Glencairn expressed her
+admiration at the great capacity of the chaise. "Ay," said Mrs. Pringle,
+"but you know not what we have suffert for't in coming through among the
+English taverns on the road; some of them would not take us forward when
+there was a hill to pass, unless we would take four horses, and every one
+after another reviled us for having no mercy in loading the carriage like
+a waggon,--and then the drivers were so gleg and impudent, that it was
+worse than martyrdom to come with them. Had the Doctor taken my advice,
+he would have brought our own civil London coachman, whom we hired with
+his own horses by the job; but he said it behoved us to gi'e our ain fish
+guts to our ain sea-maws, and that he designed to fee Thomas Birlpenny's
+hostler for our coachman, being a lad of the parish. This obliged us to
+post it from London; but, oh! Miss Mally, what an outlay it has been!"
+
+The Doctor, in the meantime, had entered into conversation with the
+gentlemen, and was inquiring, in the most particular manner, respecting
+all his parishioners, and expressing his surprise that Mr. Craig had not
+been at the manse with the rest of the elders. "It does not look well,"
+said the Doctor. Mr. Daff, however, offered the best apology for his
+absence that could be made. "He has had a gentle dispensation, sir--Mrs.
+Craig has won awa' out of this sinful world, poor woman, she had a large
+experience o't; but the bairns to the fore, and Mrs. Glibbans, that has
+such a cast of grace, has ta'en charge of the house since before the
+interment. It's thought, considering what's by gane, Mr. Craig may do
+waur than make her mistress, and I hope, sir, your exhortation will no be
+wanting to egg the honest man to think o't seriously."
+
+Mr. Snodgrass, before delivering the household keys, ordered two bottles
+of wine, with glasses and biscuit, to be set upon the table, while Mrs.
+Pringle produced from a paper package, that had helped to stuff one of
+the pockets of the carriage, a piece of rich plum-cake, brought all the
+way from a confectioner's in Cockspur Street, London, not only for the
+purpose of being eaten, but, as she said, to let Miss Nanny Eydent pree,
+in order to direct the Irvine bakers how to bake others like it.
+
+Tea was then brought in; and, as it was making, the Doctor talked aside
+to the elders, while Mrs. Pringle recounted to Miss Mally and Miss
+Isabella the different incidents of her adventures subsequent to the
+marriage of Miss Rachel.
+
+"The young folk," said she, "having gone to Brighton, we followed them in
+a few days, for we were told it was a curiosity, and that the king has a
+palace there, just a warld's wonder! and, truly, Miss Mally, it is
+certainly not like a house for a creature of this world, but for some
+Grand Turk or Chinaman. The Doctor said, it put him in mind of Miss
+Jenny Macbride's sideboard in the Stockwell of Glasgow; where all the
+pepper-boxes, poories, and teapots, punch-bowls, and china-candlesticks
+of her progenitors are set out for a show, that tells her visitors, they
+are but seldom put to use. As for the town of Brighton, it's what I
+would call a gawky piece of London. I could see nothing in it but a
+wheen idlers, hearing twa lads, at night, crying, "Five, six, seven for a
+shilling," in the booksellers' shops, with a play-actor lady singing in a
+corner, because her voice would not do for the players' stage.
+Therefore, having seen the Captain and Mrs. Sabre off to France, we came
+home to London; but it's not to be told what we had to pay at the hotel
+where we staid in Brighton. Howsomever, having come back to London, we
+settled our counts,--and, buying a few necessars, we prepared for
+Scotland,--and here we are. But travelling has surely a fine effect in
+enlarging the understanding; for both the Doctor and me thought, as we
+came along, that everything had a smaller and poorer look than when we
+went away; and I dinna think this room is just what it used to be. What
+think ye o't, Miss Isabella? How would ye like to spend your days in't?"
+
+Miss Isabella reddened at this question; but Mrs. Pringle, who was as
+prudent as she was observant, affecting not to notice this, turned round
+to Miss Mally Glencairn, and said softly in her ear,--"Rachel was Bell's
+confidante, and has told us all about what's going on between her and Mr.
+Snodgrass. We have agreed no to stand in their way, as soon as the
+Doctor can get a mailing or two to secure his money upon."
+
+Meantime, the Doctor received from the elders a very satisfactory account
+of all that had happened among his people, both in and out of the
+Session, during his absence; and he was vastly pleased to find there had
+been no inordinate increase of wickedness; at the same time, he was
+grieved for the condition in which the poor weavers still continued,
+saying, that among other things of which he had been of late meditating,
+was the setting up of a lending bank in the parish for the labouring
+classes, where, when they were out of work, "bits of loans for a
+house-rent, or a brat of claes, or sic like, might be granted, to be
+repaid when trade grew better, and thereby take away the objection that
+an honest pride had to receiving help from the Session."
+
+Then some lighter general conversation ensued, in which the Doctor gave
+his worthy counsellors a very jocose description of many of the lesser
+sort of adventures which he had met with; and the ladies having retired
+to inspect the great bargains that Mrs. Pringle had got, and the splendid
+additions she had made to her wardrobe, out of what she denominated the
+dividends of the present portion of the legacy, the Doctor ordered in the
+second biggest toddy-bowl, the guardevine with the old rum, and told the
+lassie to see if the tea-kettle was still boiling. "Ye maun drink our
+welcome hame," said he to the elders; "it would nae otherwise be canny.
+But I'm sorry Mr. Craig has nae come." At these words the door opened,
+and the absent elder entered, with a long face and a deep sigh. "Ha!"
+cried Mr. Daff, "this is very droll. Speak of the Evil One, and he'll
+appear";--which words dinted on the heart of Mr. Craig, who thought his
+marriage in December had been the subject of their discourse. The
+Doctor, however, went up and shook him cordially by the hand, and said,
+"Now I take this very kind, Mr. Craig; for I could not have expected you,
+considering ye have got, as I am told, your jo in the house"; at which
+words the Doctor winked paukily to Mr. Daff, who rubbed his hands with
+fainness, and gave a good-humoured sort of keckling laugh. This
+facetious stroke of policy was a great relief to the afflicted elder, for
+he saw by it that the Doctor did not mean to trouble him with any
+inquiries respecting his deceased wife; and, in consequence, he put on a
+blither face, and really affected to have forgotten her already more than
+he had done in sincerity.
+
+Thus the night passed in decent temperance and a happy decorum; insomuch,
+that the elders when they went away, either by the influence of the
+toddy-bowl, or the Doctor's funny stories about the Englishers, declared
+that he was an excellent man, and, being none lifted up, was worthy of
+his rich legacy.
+
+At supper, the party, besides the minister and Mrs. Pringle, consisted of
+the two Irvine ladies, and Mr. Snodgrass. Miss Becky Glibbans came in
+when it was about half over, to express her mother's sorrow at not being
+able to call that night, "Mr. Craig's bairn having taken an ill turn."
+The truth, however, was, that the worthy elder had been rendered somewhat
+tozy by the minister's toddy, and wanted an opportunity to inform the old
+lady of the joke that had been played upon him by the Doctor calling her
+his jo, and to see how she would relish it. So by a little address Miss
+Becky was sent out of the way, with the excuse we have noticed; at the
+same time, as the night was rather sharp, it is not to be supposed that
+she would have been the bearer of any such message, had her own curiosity
+not enticed her.
+
+During supper the conversation was very lively. Many "pickant jokes," as
+Miss Becky described them, were cracked by the Doctor; but, soon after
+the table was cleared, he touched Mr. Snodgrass on the arm, and, taking
+up one of the candles, went with him to his study, where he then told
+him, that Rachel Pringle, now Mrs. Sabre, had informed him of a way in
+which he could do him a service. "I understand, sir," said the Doctor,
+"that you have a notion of Miss Bell Tod, but that until ye get a kirk
+there can be no marriage. But the auld horse may die waiting for the new
+grass; and, therefore, as the Lord has put it in my power to do a good
+action both to you and my people,--whom I am glad to hear you have
+pleased so well,--if it can be brought about that you could be made
+helper and successor, I'll no object to give up to you the whole stipend,
+and, by and by, maybe the manse to the bargain. But that is if you marry
+Miss Bell; for it was a promise that Rachel gar't me make to her on her
+wedding morning. Ye know she was a forcasting lassie, and, I have reason
+to believe, has said nothing anent this to Miss Bell herself; so that if
+you have no partiality for Miss Bell, things will just rest on their own
+footing; but if you have a notion, it must be a satisfaction to you to
+know this, as it will be a pleasure to me to carry it as soon as possible
+into effect."
+
+Mr. Snodgrass was a good deal agitated; he was taken by surprise, and
+without words the Doctor might have guessed his sentiments; he, however,
+frankly confessed that he did entertain a very high opinion of Miss Bell,
+but that he was not sure if a country parish would exactly suit him.
+"Never mind that," said the Doctor; "if it does not fit at first, you
+will get used to it; and if a better casts up, it will be no obstacle."
+
+The two gentlemen then rejoined the ladies, and, after a short
+conversation, Miss Becky Glibbans was admonished to depart, by the
+servants bringing in the Bibles for the worship of the evening. This was
+usually performed before supper, but, owing to the bowl being on the
+table, and the company jocose, it had been postponed till all the guests
+who were not to sleep in the house had departed.
+
+The Sunday morning was fine and bright for the season; the hoarfrost,
+till about an hour after sunrise, lay white on the grass and tombstones
+in the churchyard; but before the bell rung for the congregation to
+assemble, it was exhaled away, and a freshness, that was only known to be
+autumnal by the fallen and yellow leaves that strewed the church-way path
+from the ash and plane trees in the avenue, encouraged the spirits to
+sympathise with the universal cheerfulness of all nature.
+
+The return of the Doctor had been bruited through the parish with so much
+expedition, that, when the bell rung for public worship, none of those
+who were in the practice of stopping in the churchyard to talk about the
+weather were so ignorant as not to have heard of this important fact. In
+consequence, before the time at which the Doctor was wont to come from
+the back-gate which opened from the manse-garden into the churchyard, a
+great majority of his people were assembled to receive him.
+
+At the last jingle of the bell, the back-gate was usually opened, and the
+Doctor was wont to come forth as punctually as a cuckoo of a clock at the
+striking of the hour; but a deviation was observed on this occasion.
+Formerly, Mrs. Pringle and the rest of the family came first, and a few
+minutes were allowed to elapse before the Doctor, laden with grace, made
+his appearance. But at this time, either because it had been settled
+that Mr. Snodgrass was to officiate, or for some other reason, there was
+a breach in the observance of this time-honoured custom.
+
+As the ringing of the bell ceased, the gate unclosed, and the Doctor came
+forth. He was of that easy sort of feather-bed corpulency of form that
+betokens good-nature, and had none of that smooth, red, well-filled
+protuberancy, which indicates a choleric humour and a testy temper. He
+was in fact what Mrs. Glibbans denominated "a man of a gausy external."
+And some little change had taken place during his absence in his visible
+equipage. His stockings, which were wont to be of worsted, had undergone
+a translation into silk; his waist-coat, instead--of the venerable
+Presbyterian flap-covers to the pockets, which were of Johnsonian
+magnitude, was become plain--his coat in all times single-breasted, with
+no collar, still, however, maintained its ancient characteristics;
+instead, however, of the former bright black cast horn, the buttons were
+covered with cloth. But the chief alteration was discernible in the
+furniture of the head. He had exchanged the simplicity of his own
+respectable grey hairs for the cauliflower hoariness of a PARRISH {3}
+wig, on which he wore a broad-brimmed hat, turned up a little at each
+side behind, in a portentous manner, indicatory of Episcopalian
+predilections. This, however, was not justified by any alteration in his
+principles, being merely an innocent variation of fashion, the natural
+result of a Doctor of Divinity buying a hat and wig in London.
+
+The moment that the Doctor made his appearance, his greeting and
+salutation was quite delightful; it was that of a father returned to his
+children, and a king to his people.
+
+Almost immediately after the Doctor, Mrs. Pringle, followed by Miss Mally
+Glencairn and Miss Isabella Tod, also debouched from the gate, and the
+assembled females remarked, with no less instinct, the transmutation
+which she had undergone. She was dressed in a dark blue cloth pelisse,
+trimmed with a dyed fur, which, as she told Miss Mally, "looked quite as
+well as sable, without costing a third of the money." A most matronly
+muff, that, without being of sable, was of an excellent quality,
+contained her hands; and a very large Leghorn straw bonnet, decorated
+richly, but far from excess, with a most substantial band and bow of a
+broad crimson satin ribbon around her head.
+
+If the Doctor was gratified to see his people so gladly thronging around
+him, Mrs. Pringle had no less pleasure also in her thrice-welcome
+reception. It was an understood thing, that she had been mainly
+instrumental in enabling the minister to get his great Indian legacy; and
+in whatever estimation she may have been previously held for her economy
+and management, she was now looked up to as a personage skilled in the
+law, and particularly versed in testamentary erudition. Accordingly, in
+the customary testimonials of homage with which she was saluted in her
+passage to the church door, there was evidently a sentiment of veneration
+mingled, such as had never been evinced before, and which was neither
+unobserved nor unappreciated by that acute and perspicacious lady.
+
+The Doctor himself did not preach, but sat in the minister's pew till Mr.
+Snodgrass had concluded an eloquent and truly an affecting sermon; at the
+end of which, the Doctor rose and went up into the pulpit, where he
+publicly returned thanks for the favours and blessings he had obtained
+during his absence, and for the safety in which he had been restored,
+after many dangers and tribulations, to the affections of his
+parishioners.
+
+Such were the principal circumstances that marked the return of the
+family. In the course of the week after, the estate of Moneypennies
+being for sale, it was bought for the Doctor as a great bargain. It was
+not, however, on account of the advantageous nature of the purchase that
+our friend valued this acquisition, but entirely because it was situated
+in his own parish, and part of the lands marching with the Glebe.
+
+The previous owner of Moneypennies had built an elegant house on the
+estate, to which Mrs. Pringle is at present actively preparing to remove
+from the manse; and it is understood, that, as Mr. Snodgrass was last
+week declared helper, and successor to the Doctor, his marriage with Miss
+Isabella Tod will take place with all convenient expedition. There is
+also reason to believe, that, as soon as decorum will permit, any scruple
+which Mrs. Glibbans had to a second marriage is now removed, and that she
+will soon again grace the happy circle of wives by the name of Mrs.
+Craig. Indeed, we are assured that Miss Nanny Eydent is actually at this
+time employed in making up her wedding garments; for, last week, that
+worthy and respectable young person was known to have visited Bailie
+Delap's shop, at a very early hour in the morning, and to have priced
+many things of a bridal character, besides getting swatches; after which
+she was seen to go to Mrs. Glibbans's house, where she remained a very
+considerable time, and to return straight therefrom to the shop, and
+purchase divers of the articles which she had priced and inspected; all
+of which constitute sufficient grounds for the general opinion in Irvine,
+that the union of Mr. Craig with Mrs. Glibbans is a happy event drawing
+near to consummation.
+
+
+
+
+Footnotes
+
+
+{1} The administration of the Sacrament.
+
+{2} The honest Doctor's version of this _bon mot_ of her majesty is not
+quite correct; her expression was, "I mean to take a chop at the King's
+Head when I get to London."
+
+{3} See the _Edinburgh Review_, for an account of our old friend, Dr.
+Parr's wig, and Spital Sermon.
+
+
+
+
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