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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Romance of California Life, by John Habberton
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Romance of California Life
+
+Author: John Habberton
+
+Release Date: October 22, 2004  [eBook #13832]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROMANCE OF CALIFORNIA LIFE***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Gene Smethers and the Project Gutenberg Online
+Distributed Proofreading Team
+
+
+
+ROMANCE OF CALIFORNIA LIFE
+
+Illustrated by Pacific Slope Stories,
+Thrilling, Pathetic and Humorous
+
+by
+
+JOHN HABBERTON
+
+Author Of "Helen's Babies"
+
+1880
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: FRONTISPIECE]
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+
+Many of the sketches contained in "Some Folks" were written by me during
+the past five years, and some of them published by Mr. Leslie in his
+_Illustrated Newspaper_ and his _Chimney Corner_, from which journals
+they have been collected by friends who believe that in these stories is
+displayed better workmanship than I have since done. For myself, I can
+claim for them only an unusual degree of that unliterary and unpopular
+quality called truthfulness. Although at present mildly tolerated in the
+East, I was "brought up" in the West, and have written largely from
+recollection of "some folks" I have known, veritable men and women,
+scenes and incidents, and otherwise through the memories of Western
+friends of good eyesight and hearing powers.
+
+Should any one accuse me of having imitated Bret Harte's style, I shall
+accept the accusation as a compliment, for I know of no other American
+story writer so worthy to be taken as a teacher by men who acceptably
+tell the stories of new countries. For occasionally introducing
+characters and motives that would not be considered disgraceful in
+virtuous communities, I can only plead in excuse the fact that, even in
+the New West, some folks will occasionally be uniformly thoughtful,
+respectable and honest, just as individuals sometimes are in the East.
+
+JOHN HABBERTON.
+
+NEW YORK, July 1st, 1877.
+
+
+
+
+To FRANK LESLIE,
+
+
+Who, while other publishers were advising the writer of these sketches
+to write, supplied the author with encouragement in the shape of a
+publishing medium and the lucre which all literary men despise but long
+for, this volume is respectfully dedicated by
+
+THE AUTHOR.
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+THE SCHOOLTEACHER AT BOTTLE FLAT
+
+JIM HOCKSON'S REVENGE
+
+MAKING HIS MARK
+
+CODAGO
+
+THE LAST PIKE AT JAGGER'S BEND
+
+FIRST PRAYER AT HANNEY'S
+
+THE NEW SHERIFF OF BUNKER COUNTY
+
+MAJOR MARTT'S FRIEND
+
+BUFFLE
+
+MATALETTE'S SECTION
+
+A STORY OF TEN MILE GULCH
+
+CAPTAIN SAM'S CHANGE
+
+MISS FEWNE'S LAST CONQUEST
+
+MARKSON'S HOUSE
+
+GRUMP'S PET
+
+WARDELOW'S BOY
+
+TOM CHAFFLIN'S LUCK
+
+OLD TWITCHETT'S TREASURE
+
+BLIZZER'S WIFE
+
+A BOARDING-HOUSE ROMANCE
+
+RETIRING FROM BUSINESS
+
+THE HARDHACK MISTAKE
+
+THE CARMI CHUMS
+
+LITTLE GUZZY
+
+A ROMANCE OF HAPPY REST
+
+TWO POWERFUL ARGUMENTS
+
+MR. PUTCHETT'S LOVE
+
+THE MEANEST MAN AT BLUGSEY'S
+
+DEACON BARKER'S CONVERSION
+
+JOE GATTER'S LIFE INSURANCE
+
+THE TEMPERANCE MEETING AT BACKLEY
+
+JUDE
+
+A LOVE OF A COTTAGE
+
+THE BLEIGHTON RIVALS
+
+BUDGE AND TODDIE AT AUNT ALICE'S
+
+SAILING UP STREAM
+
+FREE SPEECH
+
+
+
+
+ILLUSTRATIONS
+
+
+FRONTISPIECE
+
+TOLEDO AND THE COMMITTEE'S VISIT
+
+"HE HELD IT UNDER THE LIGHT"
+
+"THEY FOUND HIM SENSELESS," ETC
+
+FINDING THE BABY
+
+THE GOLDEN HARVEST
+
+PASSING THE HAT
+
+EAST PATTEN
+
+THE ROUGH GREETING
+
+THE BABY'S NAME
+
+THE DESERTED COTTAGE
+
+THE PRAIRIE FARM
+
+AN INVITATION TO WAIT
+
+A LOVELY EXPERIENCE--"SPILED"
+
+A STRANGE PROCEDURE
+
+THE PLACARD ON THE DOOR
+
+THE CIRCUIT PREACHER
+
+KISSING SUNRISE
+
+A DISCOVERY
+
+THE LIKENESS
+
+MOTHER AND SON MEET
+
+COUNTRY INQUISITIVENESS
+
+HUSBAND AND WIFE
+
+IN PRISON
+
+RUM VALLEY
+
+NEAR HIS END
+
+THE BONNEYS EMIGRATE
+
+MR. PUTCHETT'S NEW FRIEND
+
+"GOOD-BY, LITTLE ANGEL!"
+
+COOL IN FACE OF DANGER
+
+"THAT'S PET'S MOTHER"
+
+THE RICH MAN'S CHURCH
+
+TALKING OVER INSURANCE
+
+THE MEETING
+
+"GET HIM! GET JOHNNY!"
+
+DOWN THE STREAM
+
+THE WELCOME HOME
+
+THE COTTAGE
+
+"I CAME TO PLEAD FOR THE MAJOR"
+
+PROCESS OF BEING LOCKED UP
+
+BREAKFAST
+
+
+
+SOME FOLKS.
+
+
+
+
+THE SCHOOLTEACHER AT BOTTLE FLAT.
+
+
+It certainly _was_ hard. What was the freedom of a country in which the
+voice of the original founders was spent in vain? Had not they, the
+"Forty" miners of Bottle Flat, really started the place? Hadn't they
+located claims there? Hadn't they contributed three ounces each,
+ostensibly to set up in business a brother miner who unfortunately lost
+an arm, but really that a saloon might be opened, and the genuineness
+and stability of the camp be assured? Hadn't they promptly killed or
+scared away every Chinaman who had ever trailed his celestial pig-tail
+into the Flat? Hadn't they cut and beaten a trail to Placerville, so
+that miners could take a run to that city when the Flat became too
+quiet? Hadn't they framed the squarest betting code in the whole
+diggings? And when a 'Frisco man basely attempted to break up the camp
+by starting a gorgeous saloon a few miles up the creek, hadn't they gone
+up in a body and cleared him out, giving him only ten minutes in which
+to leave the creek for ever? All this they had done, actuated only by a
+stern sense of duty, and in the patient anticipation of the reward which
+traditionally crowns virtuous action. But now--oh, ingratitude of
+republics!--a schoolteacher was to be forced upon Bottle Flat in spite
+of all the protest which they, the oldest inhabitants, had made!
+
+Such had been their plaint for days, but the sad excitement had not been
+productive of any fights, for the few married men in the camp prudently
+absented themselves at night from "The Nugget" saloon, where the matter
+was fiercely discussed every evening. There was, therefore, such an
+utter absence of diversity of opinion, that the most quarrelsome
+searched in vain for provocation.
+
+On the afternoon of the day on which the opening events of this story
+occurred, the boys, by agreement, stopped work two hours earlier than
+usual, for the stage usually reached Bottle Flat about two hours before
+sundown, and the one of that day was to bring the hated teacher. The
+boys had wellnigh given up the idea of further resistance, yet curiosity
+has a small place even in manly bosoms, and they could at least _look_
+hatred at the detested pedagogue. So about four o'clock they gathered at
+The Nugget so suddenly, that several fathers; who were calmly drinking
+inside, had barely time to escape through the back windows.
+
+The boys drank several times before composing themselves into their
+accustomed seats and leaning-places; but it was afterward asserted and
+Southpaw--the one-armed bar-keeper--cited as evidence, that none of them
+took sugar in their liquor. They subjected their sorrow to homeopathic
+treatment by drinking only the most raw and rasping fluids that the bar
+afforded.
+
+The preliminary drinking over, they moodily whittled, chewed, and
+expectorated; a stranger would have imagined them a batch of miserable
+criminals awaiting transportation.
+
+The silence was finally broken by a decided-looking red-haired man, who
+had been neatly beveling the door-post with his knife, and who spoke as
+if his words only by great difficulty escaped being bitten in two.
+
+"We ken burn down the schoolhouse right before his face and eyes, and
+then mebbe the State Board'll git our idees about eddycation."
+
+"Twon't be no use, Mose," said Judge Barber, whose legal title was
+honorary, and conferred because he had spent some time in a penitentiary
+in the East. "Them State Board fellers is wrong, but they've got grit,
+ur they'd never hev got the schoolhouse done after we rode the
+contractor out uv the Flat on one of his own boards. Besides, some uv
+'em might think we wuz rubbin' uv it in, an' next thing you know'd
+they'd be buildin' us a jail."
+
+"Can't we buy off these young uns' folks?" queried an angular fellow
+from Southern Illinois. "They're a mizzable pack of shotes, an' I
+b'leeve they'd all leave the camp fur a few ounces."
+
+"Ye--es," drawled the judge, dubiously; "but thar's the Widder
+Ginneys--_she'd_ pan out a pretty good schoolroom-full with her eight
+young uns, an' there ain't ounces enough in the diggin's to make _her_
+leave while Tom Ginneys's coffin's roostin' under the rocks."
+
+"Then," said Mose, the first speaker, his words escaping with even more
+difficulty than before, "throw around keards to see who's to marry the
+widder, an' boss her young uns. The feller that gits the fust Jack's to
+do the job."
+
+"Meanin' no insult to this highly respectable crowd," said the judge, in
+a very bland tone, and inviting it to walk up to the bar and specify its
+consolation, "I don't b'leeve there's one uv yer the widder'd hev." The
+judge's eye glanced along the line at the bar, and he continued softly,
+but in decided accents--"Not a cussed one. But," added the judge,
+passing his pouch to the barkeeper, "if anything's to be done, it must
+be done lively, fur the stage is pretty nigh here. Tell ye what's ez
+good ez ennything. We'll crowd around the stage, fust throwin' keards
+for who's to put out his hoof to be accidently trod onto by the infernal
+teacher ez he gits out. Then satisfaction must be took out uv the
+teacher. It'll be a mean job, fur these teachers hevn't the spunk of a
+coyote, an' ten to one he won't hev no shootin' irons, so the job'll hev
+to be done with fists."
+
+"Good!" said Mose. "The crowd drinks with me to a square job, and no
+backin'. Chuck the pasteboards, jedge--The--dickens!" For Mose had got
+first Jack.
+
+"Square job, and no backin'," said the judge, with a grin. "There's the
+stage now--hurry up, fellers!"
+
+The stage drew up with a crash in front of The Nugget, and the
+passengers, outside and in, but none looking teacherish, hurried into
+the saloon. The boys scarcely knew whether to swear from disappointment
+or gratification, when a start from Mose drew their attention again to
+the stage. On the top step appeared a small shoe, above which was
+visible a small section of stocking far whiter and smaller than is usual
+in the mines. In an instant a similar shoe appeared on the lower step,
+and the boys saw, successively, the edge of a dress, a waterproof cloak,
+a couple of small gloved hands, a bright muffler, and a pleasant face
+covered with brown hair, and a bonnet. Then they heard a cheerful voice
+say:
+
+"I'm the teacher, gentlemen--can any one show me the schoolhouse?"
+
+The miserable Mose looked ghastly, and tottered. A suspicion of a wink
+graced the judge's eye, but he exclaimed in a stern, low tone: "Square
+job, an' no backin'," upon which Mose took to his heels and the
+Placerville trail.
+
+The judge had been a married man, so he promptly answered:
+
+"I'll take yer thar, mum, ez soon ez I git yer baggage."
+
+"Thank you," said the teacher; "that valise under the seat is all."
+
+The judge extracted a small valise marked "Huldah Brown," offered his
+arm, and he and the teacher walked off before the astonished crowd as
+naturally as if the appearance of a modest-looking young lady was an
+ordinary occurrence at the Flat.
+
+The stage refilled, and rattled away from the dumb and staring crowd,
+and the judge returned.
+
+"Well, boys," said he, "yer got to marry _two_ women, now, to stop that
+school, an' you'll find this un more particler than the widder. I just
+tell yer what it is about that school--it's a-goin' to go on, spite uv
+any jackasses that wants it broke up; an' any gentleman that's insulted
+ken git satisfaction by--"
+
+"Who wants it broke up, you old fool?" demanded Toledo, a man who had
+been named after the city from which he had come, and who had been from
+the first one of the fiercest opponents of the school. "I move the
+appointment uv a committee of three to wait on the teacher, see if the
+school wants anything money can buy, take up subscriptions to git it,
+an' lay out any feller that don't come down with the dust when he's went
+fur."
+
+[Illustration: TOLEDO AND THE COMMITTEEMEN'S VISIT TO THE
+SOHOOLTEACHER.]
+
+"Hurray!" "Bully!" "Good!" "Sound!" "Them's the talk!" and other
+sympathetic expressions, were heard from the members of the late
+anti-school party.
+
+The judge, who, by virtue of age, was the master of ceremonies and
+general moderator of the camp, very promptly appointed a committee,
+consisting of Toledo and two miners, whose attire appeared the most
+respectable in the place, and instructed them to wait on the schoolmarm,
+and tender her the cordial support of the miners.
+
+Early the next morning the committee called at the schoolhouse, attached
+to which were two small rooms in which teachers were expected to keep
+house.
+
+The committee found the teacher "putting to rights" the schoolroom. Her
+dress was tucked up, her sleeves rolled, her neck hidden by a bright
+handkerchief, and her hair "a-blowin' all to glory," as Toledo afterward
+expressed it. Between the exertion, the bracing air, and the excitement
+caused by the newness of everything, Miss Brown's pleasant face was
+almost handsome.
+
+"Mornin', marm," said Toledo, raising a most shocking hat, while the
+remaining committee-men expeditiously ranged themselves behind him, so
+that the teacher might by no chance look into their eyes.
+
+"Good-morning, gentlemen," said Miss Brown, with a cheerful smile,
+"please be seated. I suppose you wish to speak of your children?"
+
+Toledo, who was a very young man, blushed, and the whole committee was
+as uneasy on its feet as if its boots had been soled with fly-blisters.
+Finally, Toledo answered:
+
+"Not much, marm, seein' we ain't got none. Me an' these gentlemen's a
+committee from the boys."
+
+"From the boys?" echoed Miss Brown. She had heard so many wonderful
+things about the Golden State, that now she soberly wondered whether
+bearded men called themselves boys, and went to school.
+
+"From the miners, washin' along the crick, marm--they want to know what
+they ken do fur yer," continued Toledo.
+
+"I am very grateful," said Miss Brown; "but I suppose the local school
+committee--"
+
+"Don't count on them, marm," interrupted Toledo; "they're livin' five
+miles away, and they're only the preacher, an' doctor, an' a feller
+that's j'ined the church lately. None uv 'em but the doctor ever shows
+themselves at the saloon, an' _he_ only comes when there's a diffikilty,
+an' he's called in to officiate. But the boys--the boys hez got the
+dust, marm, an' they've got the will. One uv us'll be in often to see
+what can be done fur yer. Good-mornin', marm."
+
+Toledo raided his hat again, the other committee-men bowed profoundly to
+all the windows and seats, and then the whole retired, leaving Miss
+Brown in the wondering possession of an entirely new experience.
+
+"Well?" inquired the crowd, as the committee approached the creek.
+
+"Well," replied Toledo, "she's just a hundred an' thirty pound nugget,
+an' no mistake--hey, fellers?"
+
+"You bet," promptly responded the remainder of the committee.
+
+"Good!" said the judge. "What does she want?"
+
+Toledo's countenance fell.
+
+"By thunder!" he replied, "we got out 'fore she had a chance to tell
+us!"
+
+The judge stared sharply upon the young man, and hurriedly turned to
+hide a merry twitching of his lips.
+
+That afternoon the boys were considerably astonished and scared at
+seeing the schoolmistress walking quickly toward the creek. The
+chairman of the new committee was fully equal to the occasion. Mounting
+a rock, he roared:
+
+"You fellers without no sherts on, git. You with shoes off, put 'em on.
+Take your pants out uv yer boots. Hats off when the lady comes. Hurry
+up, now--no foolin'."
+
+The shirtless ones took a lively double-quick toward some friendly
+bushes, the boys rolled down their sleeves and pantaloons, and one or
+two took the extra precaution to wash the mud off their boots.
+
+Meanwhile Miss Brown approached, and Toledo stepped forward.
+
+"Anything wrong up at the schoolhouse?" said he.
+
+"Oh, no," replied Miss Brown, "but I have always had a great curiosity
+to see how gold was obtained. It seems as if it must be very easy to
+handle those little pans. Don't you--don't you suppose some miner would
+lend me his pan and let me try just _once?_"
+
+"Certingly, marm; ev'ry galoot ov'em would be glad of the chance. Here,
+you fellers--who's got the cleanest pan?"
+
+Half a dozen men washed out their pans, and hurried off with them.
+Toledo selected one, put in dirt and water, and handed it to Miss Brown.
+
+"Thar you are, marm, but I'm afeared you'll wet your dress."
+
+"Oh, that won't harm," cried Miss Brown, with a laugh which caused one
+enthusiastic miner to "cut the pigeon-wing."
+
+She got the miner's touch to a nicety, and in a moment had a spray of
+dirty water flying from the edge of the pan, while all the boys stood in
+a respectful semicircle, and stared delightedly. The pan empty, Toledo
+refilled it several times; and, finally, picking out some pebbles and
+hard pieces of earth, pointed to the dirty, shiny deposit in the bottom
+of the pan, and briefly remarked:
+
+"Thar 'tis, marm."
+
+"Oh!" screamed Miss Brown, with delight; "is that really gold-dust?"
+
+"That's it," said Toledo. "I'll jest put it up fur yer, so yer ken
+kerry it."
+
+"Oh, no," said Miss Brown, "I couldn't think of it--it isn't mine."
+
+"You washed it out, marm, an' that makes a full title in these parts."
+
+All of the traditional honesty of New England came into Miss Brown's
+face in an instant; and, although she, Yankee-like, estimated the value
+of the dust, and sighingly thought how much easier it was to win gold in
+that way than by forcing ideas into stupid little heads, she firmly
+declined the gold, and bade the crowd a smiling good-day.
+
+"Did yer see them little fingers uv hern a-holdin' out that pan?--did
+yer see her, fellers?" inquired an excited miner.
+
+"Yes, an' the way she made that dirt git, ez though she was useder to
+washin' than wallopin'," said another.
+
+"Wallopin'!" echoed a staid miner. "I'd gie my claim, an' throw in my
+pile to boot, to be a young 'un an' git walloped by them playthings of
+han's."
+
+"Jest see how she throwed dirt an' water on them boots," said another,
+extending an enormous ugly boot. "Them boots ain't fur sale now--them
+ain't."
+
+"Them be durned!" contemptuously exclaimed another. "She tramped right
+on my toes as she backed out uv the crowd."
+
+Every one looked jealously at the last speaker, and a grim old fellow
+suggested that the aforesaid individual had obtained a trampled foot by
+fraud, and that each man in camp had, consequently, a right to demand
+satisfaction of him.
+
+But the judge decided that he of the trampled foot was right, and that
+any miner who wouldn't take such a chance, whether fraudulently or
+otherwise, hadn't the spirit of a man in him.
+
+Yankee Sam, the shortest man in camp, withdrew from the crowd, and paced
+the banks of the creek, lost in thought. Within half an hour Sam was
+owner of the only store in the place, had doubled the prices of all
+articles of clothing contained therein, and increased at least six-fold
+the price of all the white shirts.
+
+Next day the sun rose on Bottle Flat in his usual conservative and
+impassive manner. Had he respected the dramatic proprieties, he would
+have appeared with astonished face and uplifted hands, for seldom had a
+whole community changed so completely in a single night.
+
+Uncle Hans, the only German in the camp, had spent the preceding
+afternoon in that patient investigation for which the Teutonic mind is
+so justly noted. The morning sun saw over Hans's door a sign, in
+charcoal, which read, "SHAVIN' DUN HIER"; and few men went to the creek
+that morning without submitting themselves to Hans's hands.
+
+Then several men who had been absent from the saloon the night before
+straggled into camp, with jaded mules and new attire. Carondelet Joe
+came in, clad in a pair of pants, on which slender saffron-hued serpents
+ascended graceful gray Corinthian columns, while from under the collar
+of a new white shirt appeared a cravat, displaying most of the lines of
+the solar spectrum.
+
+Flush, the Flat champion at poker, came in late in the afternoon, with a
+huge watch-chain, and an overpowering bosom-pin, and his horrid fingers
+sported at least one seal-ring each.
+
+Several stove-pipe hats were visible in camp, and even a pair of gloves
+were reported in the pocket of a miner.
+
+Yankee Sam had sold out his entire stock, and prevented bloodshed over
+his only bottle of hair-oil by putting it up at a raffle, in forty
+chances, at an ounce a chance. His stock of white shirts, seven in
+number, were visible on manly forms; his pocket combs and glasses were
+all gone; and there had been a steady run on needles and thread. Most of
+the miners were smoking new white clay pipes, while a few thoughtful
+ones, hoping for a repetition of the events of the previous day, had
+scoured their pans to a dazzling brightness.
+
+As for the innocent cause of all this commotion, she was fully as
+excited as the miners themselves. She had never been outside of Middle
+Bethany, until she started for California. Everything on the trip had
+been strange, and her stopping-place and its people were stranger than
+all. The male population of Middle Bethany, as is usual with small New
+England villages, consisted almost entirely of very young boys and very
+old men. But here at Bottle Flat were hosts of middle-aged men, and such
+funny ones! She was wild to see more of them, and hear them talk; yet,
+her wildness was no match for her prudence. She sighed to think how
+slightly Toledo had spoken of the minister on the local committee, and
+she piously admitted to herself that Toledo and his friends were
+undoubtedly on the brink of the bottomless pit, and yet--they certainly
+were very kind. If she could only exert a good influence upon these
+men--but how?
+
+Suddenly she bethought herself, of the grand social centre of Middle
+Bethany--the singing-school. Of course, she couldn't start a
+singing-school at Bottle Flat, but if she were to say the children
+needed to be led in singing, would it be very hypocritical? She might
+invite such of the miners as were musically inclined to lead the school
+in singing in the morning, and thus she might, perhaps, remove some of
+the prejudice which, she had been informed, existed against the school.
+
+She broached the subject to Toledo, and that faithful official had
+nearly every miner in camp at the schoolhouse that same evening. The
+judge brought a fiddle, Uncle Hans came with a cornet, and Yellow Pete
+came grinning in with his darling banjo.
+
+There was a little disappointment all around when the boys declared
+their ignorance of "Greenville" and "Bonny Doon," which airs Miss Brown
+decided were most easy for the children to begin with; but when it was
+ascertained that the former was the air to "Saw My Leg Off," and the
+latter was identical with the "Three Black Crows," all friction was
+removed, and the melodious howling attracted the few remaining boys at
+the saloon, and brought them up in a body, led by the barkeeper himself.
+
+The exact connection between melody and adoration is yet an unsolved
+religio-psychological problem. But we all know that everywhere in the
+habitable globe the two intermingle, and stimulate each other, whether
+the adoration be offered to heavenly or earthly objects. And so it came
+to pass that, at the Bottle Flat singing-school, the boys looked
+straight at the teacher while they raised their tuneful voices; that
+they came ridiculously early, so as to get front seats; and that they
+purposely sung out of tune, once in a while, so as to be personally
+addressed by the teacher.
+
+And she--pure, modest, prudent, and refined--saw it all, and enjoyed it
+intensely. Of course, it could never go any further, for though there
+was in Middle Bethany no moneyed aristocracy, the best families scorned
+alliances with any who were undegenerate, and would not be unequally
+yoked with those who drank, swore, and gambled--let alone the fearful
+suspicion of murder, which Miss Brown's imagination affixed to every man
+at the Flat.
+
+But the boys themselves--considering the unspeakable contempt which had
+been manifested in the camp for the profession of teaching, and for all
+who practiced it--the boys exhibited a condescension truly Christian.
+They vied with each other in manifesting it, and though the means were
+not always the most appropriate, the honesty of the sentiment could not
+be doubted.
+
+One by one the greater part of the boys, after adoring and hoping, saw
+for themselves that Miss Brown could never be expected to change her
+name at their solicitation. Sadder but better men, they retired from the
+contest, and solaced themselves by betting on the chances of those still
+"on the track," as an ex-jockey tersely expressed the situation.
+
+There was no talk of "false hearted" or "fair temptress," such as men
+often hear in society; for not only had all the tenderness emanated from
+manly breasts alone, but it had never taken form of words.
+
+Soon the hopeful ones were reduced to half a dozen of these. Yankee Sam
+was the favorite among the betting men, for Sam, knowing the habits of
+New England damsels, went to Placerville one Friday, and returned next
+day with a horse and buggy. On Sunday he triumphantly drove Miss Brown
+to the nearest church. Ten to one was offered on Sam that Sunday
+afternoon, as the boys saw the demure and contented look on Miss Brown's
+face as she returned from church. But Samuel followed in the sad
+footsteps of many another great man, for so industriously did he drink
+to his own success that he speedily developed into a bad case of
+_delirium tremens_.
+
+Then Carondelet Joe, calmly confident in the influence of his wonderful
+pants, led all odds in betting. But one evening, when Joe had managed to
+get himself in the front row and directly before the little teacher,
+that lady turned her head several times and showed signs of discomfort.
+When it finally struck the latter that the human breath might, perhaps,
+waft toward a lady perfumes more agreeable than those of mixed drinks,
+he abruptly quitted the school and the camp.
+
+Flush, the poker champion, carried with him to the singing-school that
+astounding impudence which had long been the terror and admiration of
+the camp. But a quality which had always seemed exactly the thing when
+applied to poker seemed to the boys barely endurable when displayed
+toward Miss Brown.
+
+One afternoon, Flush indiscreetly indulged in some triumphant and rather
+slighting remarks about the little teacher. Within fifteen minutes,
+Flush's final earthly home had been excavated, and an amateur undertaker
+was making his coffin.
+
+An untimely proposal by a good-looking young Mexican, and his prompt
+rejection, left the race between Toledo and a Frenchman named Lecomte.
+It also left Miss Brown considerably frightened, for until now she had
+imagined nothing more serious than the rude admiration which had so
+delighted her at first.
+
+But now, who knew but some one else would be ridiculous? Poor little
+Miss Brown suffered acutely at the thought of giving pain, and
+determined to be more demure than ever.
+
+But alas! even her agitation seemed to make her more charming to her two
+remaining lovers.
+
+Had the boys at the saloon comprehended in the least the cause of Miss
+Brown's uneasiness, they would have promptly put both Lecomte and Toledo
+out of the camp, or out of the world. But to their good-natured,
+conceited minds it meant only that she was confused, and unable to
+decide, and unlimited betting was done, to be settled upon the
+retirement of either of the contestants.
+
+And while patriotic feeling influenced the odds rather in Toledo's
+favor, it was fairly admitted that the Frenchman was a formidable rival.
+
+To all the grace of manner, and the knowledge of women that seems to run
+in Gallic blood, he was a man of tolerable education and excellent
+taste. Besides, Miss Brown was so totally different from French women,
+that every development of her character afforded him an entirely new
+sensation, and doubled his devotion.
+
+Toledo stood his ground manfully, though the boys considered it a very
+bad sign when he stopped drinking, and spent hours in pacing the ground
+in front of his hut, with his hands behind him, and his eyes fixed on
+the ground.
+
+Finally, when he was seen one day to throw away his faithful old pipe,
+heavy betters hastened to "hedge" as well as they might.
+
+Besides, as one of the boys truthfully observed, "He couldn't begin to
+wag a jaw along with that Frenchman."
+
+But, like many other young men, he could talk quite eloquently with his
+eyes, and as the language of the eyes is always direct, and purely
+grammatical, Miss Brown understood everything they said, and, to her
+great horror, once or twice barely escaped talking back.
+
+The poor little teacher was about to make the whole matter a subject of
+special prayer, when a knock at the door startled her.
+
+She answered it, and beheld the homely features of the judge.
+
+"I just come in to talk a little matter that's been botherin' me some
+time. Ye'll pardon me ef I talk a little plain?" said he.
+
+"Certainly," replied the teacher, wondering if he, too, had joined her
+persecutors.
+
+"Thank ye," said the judge, looking relieved. "It's all right. I've got
+darters to hum ez big ez you be, an' I want to talk to yer ez ef yer was
+one uv 'em."
+
+The judge looked uncertain for a moment, and then proceeded:
+
+"That feller Toledo's dead in love with yer--uv course you know it,
+though 'tain't likely he's told yer.' All I want to say 'bout him is,
+drop him kindly. He's been took so bad sence you come, that he's stopped
+drinkin' an' chewin' an' smokin' an' cussin', an' he hasn't played a
+game at The Nugget sence the first singin'-school night. Mebbe this all
+ain't much to you, but you've read 'bout that woman that was spoke well
+uv fur doin' what she could. He's the fust feller I've ever seen in the
+diggin's that went back on all the comforts uv life, an'--an' I've been
+a young man myself, an' know how big a claim it's been fur him to work.
+I ain't got the heart to see him spiled now; but he _will_ be ef, when
+yer hev to drop him, yer don't do it kindly. An'--just one thing
+more--the quicker he's out of his misery the better."
+
+The old jail-bird screwed a tear out of his eye with a dirty knuckle,
+and departed abruptly, leaving the little teacher just about ready to
+cry herself.
+
+But before she was quite ready, another knock startled her.
+
+She opened the door, and let in Toledo himself.
+
+"Good-evin', marm," said he, gravely. "I just come in to make my last
+'fficial call, seein' I'm goin' away to-morrer. Ez there anything the
+schoolhouse wants I ken git an' send from 'Frisco?"
+
+"Going away!" ejaculated the teacher, heedless of the remainder of
+Toledo's sentence.
+
+"Yes, marm; goin' away fur good. Fact is, I've been tryin' to behave
+myself lately, an' I find I need more company at it than I git about the
+diggin's. I'm goin' some place whar I ken learn to be the gentleman I
+feel like bein'--to be decent an' honest, an' useful, an' there ain't
+anybody here that keers to help a feller that way--nobody."
+
+The ancestor of the Browns of Middle Bethany was at Lexington on that
+memorable morning in '75, and all of his promptness and his courage, ten
+times multiplied, swelled the heart of his trembling little descendant,
+as she faltered out:
+
+"There's one."
+
+"Who?" asked Toledo, before he could raise his eyes.
+
+But though Miss Brown answered not a word, he did not repeat his
+question, for such a rare crimson came into the little teacher's face,
+that he hid it away in his breast, and acted as if he would never let it
+out again.
+
+Another knock at the door.
+
+Toledo dropped into a chair, and Miss Brown, hastily smoothing back her
+hair, opened the door, and again saw the judge.
+
+"I jest dropped back to say--" commenced the judge, when his eye fell
+upon Toledo.
+
+He darted a quick glance at the teacher, comprehended the situation at
+once, and with a loud shout of "Out of his misery, by thunder!" started
+on a run to carry the news to the saloon.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Miss Brown completed her term, and then the minister, who was on the
+local Board, was called in to formally make her tutor for life to a
+larger pupil. Lecomte, with true French gallantry, insisted on being
+groomsman, and the judge gave away the bride. The groom, who gave a name
+very different from any ever heard at the Flat, placed on his bride's
+finger a ring, inscribed within, "Made from gold washed by Huldah
+Brown." The little teacher has increased the number of her pupils by
+several, and her latest one calls her grandma.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+JIM HOCKSON'S REVENGE.
+
+
+I.
+
+"Ye don't say?"
+
+"I do though."
+
+"Wa'al, I never."
+
+"Nuther did I--adzackly."
+
+"Don't be provokin', Ephr'm--what makes you talk in that dou'fle way?"
+
+"Wa'al, ma, the world hain't all squeezed into this yere little town of
+Crankett. I've been elsewheres, some, an' I've seed some funny things,
+and likewise some that wuzn't so funny ez they might be."
+
+"P'r'aps ye hev, but ye needn't allus be a-settin' other folks down.
+Mebbe Crankett ain't the whole world, but it's seed that awful case of
+Molly Capins, and the shipwreck of thirty-four, when the awful
+nor'easter wuz, an'--"
+
+"Wa'al, wa'al, ma--don't let's fight 'bout it," said Ephr'm, with a
+sigh, as he tenderly scraped down a new ax-helve with a piece of glass,
+while his wife made the churn-dasher hurry up and down as if the
+innocent cream was Ephr'm's back, and she was avenging thereon Ephr'm's
+insults to Crankett and its people.
+
+Deacon Ephraim Crankett was a descendant of the founder of the village,
+and although now a sixty-year old farmer, he had in his lifetime seen
+considerable of the world. He had been to the fishing-banks a dozen
+times, been whaling twice, had carried a cargo of wheat up the
+Mediterranean, and had been second officer of a ship which had picked
+up a miscellaneous cargo in the heathen ports of Eastern Asia.
+
+[Illustration: JIM HOCKSON'S REVENGE.--"HE HELD IT UNDER THE LIGHT, AND
+EXAMINED IT CLOSELY."]
+
+He had picked up a great many ideas, too, wherever he had been, and his
+wife was immensely proud of him and them, whenever she could compare
+them with the men and ideas which existed at Crankett; but when Ephr'm
+displayed his memories and knowledge to her alone--oh, that was a very
+different thing.
+
+"Anyhow," resumed Mrs. Crankett, raising the lid of the churn to see if
+there were any signs of butter, "it's an everlastin' shame. Jim
+Hockson's a young feller in good standin' in the Church, an' Millie
+Botayne's an unbeliever--they say her father's a reg'lar infidel."
+
+"Easy, ma, easy," gently remonstrated Ephr'm. "When he seed you lookin'
+at his pet rose-bush on yer way to church las' Sunday, didn't he hurry
+an' pull two or three an' han' 'em to ye?"
+
+"Yes, an' what did he hev' in t'other han'?--a Boasting paper, an' not a
+Sunday one, nuther! Millicent ain't a Christian name, nohow ye can fix
+it--it amounts to jest 'bout's much ez she does, an' that's nothing.
+She's got a soft face, an' purty hair--ef it's all her own, which I
+powerfully doubt--an' after that ther's nothin' to her. She's never been
+to sewin' meetin', an' she's off a boatin' with that New York chap every
+Saturday afternoon, instead of goin' to the young people's
+prayer-meetin's."
+
+"She's most supported Sam Ransom's wife an' young uns since Sam's smack
+was lost," suggested Ephr'm.
+
+"That's you, Deac'n Crankett," replied his wife, "always stick up for
+sinners. P'r'aps you'd make better use of your time ef you'd examine yer
+own evidences."
+
+"Wa'al, wife," said the deacon, "she's engaged to that New York feller,
+ez you call Mr. Brown, so there's no danger of Jim bein' onequally yoked
+with an onbeliever. An' I wish her well, from the bottom of my heart."
+
+"_I_ don't," cried Mrs. Crankett, giving the dasher a vicious push,
+which sent the cream flying frantically up to the top of the churn; "I
+hope he'll turn out bad, an' her pride'll be tuk down ez--"
+
+The deacon had been long enough at sea to know the signs of a long
+storm, and to know that prudence suggested a prompt sailing out of the
+course of such a storm, when possible; so he started for the door,
+carrying the glass and ax-helve with him. Suddenly the door opened, and
+a female figure ran so violently against the ax-helve, that the said
+figure was instantly tumbled to the floor, and seemed an irregular mass
+of faded pink calico, and subdued plaid shawl.
+
+"Miss Peekin!" exclaimed Mrs. Crankett, dropping the churn-dasher and
+opening her eyes.
+
+"Like to ha' not been," whined the figure, slowly arising and giving the
+offending ax-helve a glance which would have set it on fire had it not
+been of green hickory; "but--_hev_ you heerd?"
+
+"What?" asked Mrs. Crankett, hastily setting a chair for the newcomer,
+while Ephr'm, deacon and sixty though he was, paused in his almost
+completed exit.
+
+"_He's_ gone!" exclaimed Miss Peekin.
+
+"Oh, I heerd Jim hed gone to Califor--"
+
+"Pshaw!" said Miss Peekin, contemptuously; "that was days ago! I mean
+Brown--the New York chap--Millie Botayne's lover!"
+
+"Ye don't?"
+
+"But I do; an' what's more, he _had_ to. Ther wuz men come after him in
+the nighttime, but he must hev heard 'em, fur they didn't find him in
+his room, an' this mornin' they found that his sailboat was gone, too.
+An' what's more, ther's a printed notice up about him, an' he's a
+defaulter, and there's five thousand dollars for whoever catches him,
+an' he's stole _twenty-five_, an' he's all described in the notice, as
+p'ticular as if he was a full-blood Alderney cow."
+
+"Poor fellow," sighed the deacon, for which interruption he received a
+withering glance from Miss Peekin.
+
+"They say Millie's a goin' on awful, and that she sez she'll marry him
+now if he'll come back. But it ain't likely he'll be such a fool; now
+he's got so much money, he don't need hern. Reckon her an' her father
+won't be so high an' mighty an' stuck up now. It's powerful discouragin'
+to the righteous to see the ungodly flourishin' so, an' a-rollin' in
+ther wealth, when ther betters has to be on needles all year fur fear
+the next mack'ril catch won't 'mount to much. The idee of her bein'
+willin' to marry a defaulter! I can't understand it."
+
+"Poor girl!" sighed Mrs. Crankett, wiping one eye with the corner of her
+apron. "I'd do it myself, ef I was her?"
+
+The deacon dropped the ax-helve, and gave his wife a tender kiss on each
+eye.
+
+
+II.
+
+Perhaps Mr. Darwin can tell inquirers why, out of very common origin,
+there occasionally spring beings who are very decided improvements on
+their progenitors; but we are only able to state that Jim Hockson was
+one of these superior beings, and was himself fully aware of the fact.
+Not that he was conceited at all, for he was not, but he could not help
+seeing what every one else saw and acknowledged.
+
+Every one liked him, for he was always kind in word and action, and
+every one was glad to be Jim Hockson's friend; but somehow Jim seemed to
+consider himself his best company.
+
+His mackerel lines were worked as briskly as any others when the fish
+were biting; but when the fish were gone, he would lean idly on the
+rail, and stare at the waves and clouds; he could work a cranberry-bog
+so beautifully that the people for miles around came to look on and take
+lessons; yet, when the sun tried to hide in the evening behind a ragged
+row of trees on a ridge beyond Jim's cranberry-patch, he would lean on
+his spade, and gaze until everything about him seemed yellow.
+
+He read the Bible incessantly, yet offended alike the pious saints and
+critical sinners by never preaching or exhorting. And out of everything
+Jim Hockson seemed to extract what it contained of the ideal and the
+beautiful; and when he saw Millicent Botayne, he straightway adored the
+first woman he had met who was alike beautiful, intelligent and refined.
+Miss Millie, being human, was pleased by the admiration of the
+handsome, manly fellow who seemed so far the superior of the men of his
+class; but when, in his honest simplicity, he told her that he loved
+her, she declined his further attentions in a manner which, though very
+delicate and kind, opened Jim's blue eyes to some sad things he had
+never seen before.
+
+He neither got drunk, nor threatened to kill himself, nor married the
+first silly girl he met; but he sensibly left the place where he had
+suffered so greatly, and, in a sort of sad daze, he hurried off to hide
+himself in the newly discovered gold-fields of California. Perhaps he
+had suddenly learned certain properties of gold which were heretofore
+unknown to him; at any rate, it was soon understood at Spanish Stake,
+where he had located himself, that Jim Hockson got out more gold per
+week than any man in camp, and that it all went to San Francisco.
+
+"Kind of a mean cuss, I reckon," remarked a newcomer, one day at the
+saloon, when Jim alone, of the crowd present, declined to drink with
+him.
+
+"Not any!" replied Colonel Two, so called because he had two eyes, while
+another colonel in the camp had but one. "An' it's good for _you_,
+stranger," continued the colonel, "that you ain't been long in camp,
+else some of the boys 'ud put a hole through you for sayin' anything
+'gainst Jim; for we all swear by him, _we_ do. He don't carry
+shootin'-irons, but no feller in camp dares to tackle him; he don't cuss
+nobody, but ev'rybody does just as he asks 'em to. As to drinkin', why,
+I'd swear off myself, ef 'twud make me hold a candle to him. Went to old
+Bermuda t'other day, when he was ravin' tight and layin' for Butcher
+Pete with a shootin'-iron, an' he actilly talked Bermuda into soakin'
+his head an' turnin' in--ev'rybody else was afeared to go nigh old
+Bermuda that day."
+
+The newcomer seemed gratified to learn that Jim was so peaceable a
+man--that was the natural supposition, at least--for he forthwith
+cultivated Jim with considerable assiduity, and being, it was evident, a
+man of considerable taste and experience, Jim soon found his
+companionship very agreeable and he lavished upon his new acquaintance,
+who had been nicknamed Tarpaulin, the many kind and thoughtful
+attentions which had endeared Jim to the other miners.
+
+The two men lived in the same hut, staked claims adjoining each other,
+and Tarpaulin, who had been thin and nervous-looking when he first came
+to camp, began to grow peaceable and plump under Jim's influence.
+
+One night, as Jim and Tarpaulin lay chatting before a fire in their hut,
+they heard a thin, wiry voice in the next hut inquiring:
+
+"Anybody in this camp look like this?"
+
+Tarpaulin started.
+
+"That's a funny question," said he; "let's see who and what the fellow
+is."
+
+And then Tarpaulin started for the next hut. Jim waited some time, and
+hearing low voices in earnest conversation, went next door himself.
+
+Tarpaulin was not there, but two small, thin, sharp-eyed men were there,
+displaying an old-fashioned daguerreotype of a handsome-looking young
+man, dressed in the latest New York style; and more than this Jim did
+not notice.
+
+"Don't know him, mister," said Colonel Two, who happened to be the owner
+of the hut. "Besides ef, as is most likely, he's growed long hair an' a
+beard since he left the States, his own mother wouldn't know him from
+George Washington. Brother o' yourn?"
+
+"No," said one of the thin men; "he's--well, the fact is, we'll give a
+thousand dollars to any one who'll find him for us in twenty-four
+hours."
+
+"Deppity sheriffs?" asked the colonel, retiring somewhat hastily under
+his blankets.
+
+"About the same thing," said one of the thin men, with a sickly smile.
+
+"Git!" roared the colonel, suddenly springing from his bed, and cocking
+his revolver. "I b'lieve in the Golden Rule, _I_ do!"
+
+The detectives, with the fine instinct peculiar to their profession,
+rightly construed the colonel's action as a hint, and withdrew, and Jim
+retired to his own hut, and fell asleep while waiting for his partner.
+
+Morning came, but no Tarpaulin; dinner-time arrived, but Jim ate alone,
+and was rather blue. He loved a sociable chat, and of late Tarpaulin had
+been almost his sole companion.
+
+Evening came, but Tarpaulin came not.
+
+Jim couldn't abide the saloon for a whole evening, so he lit a candle in
+his own hut, and attempted to read.
+
+Tarpaulin was a lover of newspapers--it seemed to Jim he received more
+papers than all the remaining miners put together.
+
+Jim thought he would read some of these same papers, and unrolled
+Tarpaulin's blankets to find them, when out fell a picture-case, opening
+as it fell. Jim was about to close it again, when he suddenly started,
+and exclaimed:
+
+"Millicent Botayne!"
+
+He held it under the light, and examined it closely.
+
+There could be no doubt as to identity--there were the same exquisite
+features which, a few months before, had opened to Jim Hockson a new
+world of beauty, and had then, with a sweet yet sad smile, knocked down
+all his fair castles, and destroyed all his exquisite pictures.
+
+Strange that it should appear to him now, and so unexpectedly, but
+stranger did it seem to Jim that on the opposite side of the case should
+be a portrait which was a duplicate of the one shown by the detectives!
+
+"That rascal Brown!" exclaimed Jim. "So he succeeded in getting her, did
+he? But I shouldn't call him names; he had as much right to make love to
+her as I. God grant he may make her happy! And he is probably a very
+fine fellow--_must_ be, by his looks."
+
+Suddenly Jim started, as if shocked by an electric battery. Hiding all
+the hair and beard of the portrait, he stared at it a moment, and
+exclaimed:
+
+"_Tarpaulin_!"
+
+
+III.
+
+"Both gone!" exclaimed Colonel Two, hurrying into the saloon, at noon.
+
+"_Both_ gone?" echoed two or three men.
+
+"Yes," said the colonel; "and the queerest thing is, they left
+ev'rything behind--every darned thing! I never _did_ see such a stampede
+afore--I didn't! Nobody's got any idee of whar they be, nor what it's
+'bout neither."
+
+"Don't be _too_ sartain, colonel!" piped Weasel, a self-contained mite
+of a fellow, who was still at work upon his glass, filled at the last
+general treat, although every one else had finished so long ago that
+they were growing thirsty again--"don't be _too_ sartain. Them
+detectives bunked at my shanty last night."
+
+"The deuce they did!" cried the colonel. "Good the rest of us didn't
+know it."
+
+"Well," said Weasel, moving his glass in graceful circles, to be sure
+that all the sugar dissolved, "I dunno. It's a respectable business, an'
+I wanted to have a good look at 'em."
+
+"What's that got to do with Jim and Tarpaulin?" demanded the colonel,
+fiercely.
+
+"Wait, and I'll tell you," replied Weasel, provokingly, taking a
+leisurely sip at his glass. "Jim come down to see 'em--"
+
+"What?" cried the colonel.
+
+"An' told 'em he knew their man, an' would help find him," continued
+Weasel. "They offered him the thousand dollars--"
+
+"Oh, Lord! oh, Lord!" groaned the colonel; "who's a feller to trust in
+this world! The idee of Jim goin' back on a pardner fur a thousand! I
+wouldn't hev b'lieved he'd a-done it fur a million!"
+
+"An' he told 'em he'd cram it down their throats if they mentioned it
+again."
+
+"Bully! Hooray fur Jim!" shouted the colonel. "What'll yer take,
+fellers? Fill high! Here's to Jim! the feller that b'lieves his friend's
+innercent!"
+
+The colonel looked thoughtfully into his glass, and remarked, as if to
+his own reflection therein, "Ain't many such men here nur nowhars else!"
+after which he drank the toast himself.
+
+"But that don't explain what Tarpaulin went fur," said the colonel,
+suddenly.
+
+"Yes, it does," said the exasperating Weasel, shutting his thin lips so
+tightly that it was hard to see where his mouth was.
+
+"What?" cried the colonel. "'Twould take a four-horse corkscrew to get
+anything out o' you, you dried-up little scoundrel!"
+
+"Why!" replied Weasel, greatly pleased by the colonel's compliment,
+"after what you said about hair and beard hidin' a man, one of them
+fellers cut a card an' held it over the picture, so as to hide hair an'
+chin. The forehead an' face an' nose an' ears wuz Tarpaulin's, an'
+nobody else's."
+
+"Lightning's blazes!" roared the colonel, "Ha, ha, ha! why, Tarpaulin
+hisself came into my shanty, an' looked at the pictur', an' talked to
+them 'bout it! Trot out yer glassware, barkeeper--_got_ to drink to a
+feller that's ez cool ez all that!"
+
+The boys drank with the colonel, but they were too severely astonished
+to enjoy the liquor particularly. In fact, old Bermuda, who had never
+taken anything but plain rye, drank three fingers of claret that day,
+and did not know of it until told.
+
+The colonel's mind was unusually excited. It seemed to him there were a
+number of probabilities upon which to hang bets. He walked outside, that
+his meditation might be undisturbed, but in an instant he was back,
+crying:
+
+"Lady comin'!"
+
+Shirt-sleeves and trowsers-legs were hurriedly rolled down,
+shirt-collars were buttoned, hats were dusted, and then each man went
+leisurely out, with the air of having merely happened to leave the
+saloon--an air which imposed upon no disinterested observer.
+
+Coming up the trail beside the creek were a middle-aged gentleman and a
+young lady, both on horseback.
+
+The gentleman's dress and general style plainly indicated that he was
+not a miner, nor a storekeeper, nor a barkeeper; while it was equally
+evident that the lady was neither a washerwoman, a cook, nor a member of
+either of the very few professions which were open to ladies on the
+Pacific Coast in those days.
+
+This much every miner quickly decided for himself; but after so
+deciding, each miner reached the uttermost extremity of his wits, and
+devoted himself to staring.
+
+The couple reined up before the saloon, and the gentleman drew something
+small and black and square from his pocket.
+
+"Gentlemen," said he, "we are looking for an old friend of ours, and
+have traced him to this camp. We scarcely know whether it would be any
+use to give his name, but here is his picture. Can any one remember
+having seen the person here?"
+
+Every one looked toward Colonel Two, he being the man with the most
+practical tongue in camp.
+
+The colonel took the picture, and Weasel slipped up behind him and
+looked over his shoulder. The colonel looked at the picture, abruptly
+handed it back, looked at the young lady, and then gazed vacantly into
+space, and seemed very uncomfortable.
+
+"Been here, but gone," said the colonel, at length.
+
+"Where did he go, do you know?" asked the gentleman, while the lady's
+eyes dropped wearily.
+
+"Nobody knows--only been gone a day or two," replied the colonel.
+
+The colonel had a well-developed heart, and, relying on what he
+considered the correct idea of Jim Hockson's mission, ventured to say:
+
+"He'll be back in a day or two--left all his things."
+
+Suddenly Weasel raised his diminutive voice, and said:
+
+"The detec--"
+
+The determined grip of the colonel's hand interrupted the communication
+which Weasel attempted to make, and the colonel hastily remarked:
+
+"Ther's a feller gone for him that's sure to fetch him back."
+
+"Who--who is it?" asked the young lady, hesitatingly.
+
+"Well, ma'am," said the colonel, "as yer father--I s'pose,
+leastways--said, 'tain't much use to give names in this part of the
+world, but the name he's goin' by is Jim Hockson."
+
+The young lady screamed and fell.
+
+
+IV.
+
+"Whether to do it or not, is what bothers me," soliloquized Mr. Weasel,
+pacing meditatively in front of the saloon. "The old man offers me two
+thousand to get Tarpaulin away from them fellers, and let him know where
+to meet him an' his daughter. Two thousand's a pretty penny, an' the
+bein' picked out by so smart a lookin' man is an honor big enough to set
+off agin' a few hundred dollars more. But, on t'other hand, if they
+catch him, they'll come back here, an' who knows but what they'll want
+the old man an' girl as bad as they wanted Tarpaulin? A bird in the
+hand's worth two in the bush--better keep near the ones I got, I reckon.
+Here they come now!"
+
+As Mr. Weasel concluded his dialogue with himself, Mr. Botayne and
+Millicent approached, in company with the colonel.
+
+The colonel stopped just beyond the saloon, and said:
+
+"Now, here's your best p'int--you can see the hill-trail fur better'n
+five miles, an' the crick fur a mile an' a half. I'll jest hev a shed
+knocked together to keep the lady from the sun. An' keep a stiff upper
+lip, both of yer--trust Jim Hockson; nobody in the mines ever knowed him
+to fail."
+
+Millicent shivered at the mention of Jim's name, and the colonel,
+unhappily ignorant of the cause of her agitation, tried to divert her
+mind from the chances of harm to Tarpaulin by growing eloquent in praise
+of Jim Hockson.
+
+Suddenly the colonel himself started and grew pale. He quickly recovered
+himself, however, and, with the delicacy of a gentleman, walked rapidly
+away, as Millicent and her father looked in the direction from which the
+colonel's surprise came.
+
+There, handcuffed, with beard and hair singed close, clothes torn and
+face bleeding, walked Ethelbert Brown between the two detectives, while
+Jim Hockson, with head bowed and hands behind his back, followed a few
+yards behind.
+
+Some one gave the word at the saloon, and the boys hurried out, but the
+colonel pointed significantly toward the sorrowful couple, while with
+the other hand he pointed an ugly pistol, cocked, toward the saloon.
+
+Millicent hurried from her father's side, and flung her arms about the
+sorry figure of her lover; and Jim Hockson, finding his pathway impeded,
+raised his eyes, and then blushed violently.
+
+"Sorry for you, sir," said one of the detectives, touching his hat to
+Mr. Botayne, "but can't help being glad we got a day ahead of you."
+
+"What amount of money will buy your prisoner?" demanded the unhappy
+father.
+
+"Beg pardon, sir--very sorry, but--we'd be compounding felony in that
+case, you know," replied one of the officers, gazing with genuine pity
+on the weeping girl.
+
+"Don't worry," whispered the colonel in Mr. Botayne's ear; "we'll clean
+out them two fellers, and let Tarpaulin loose again. _Ev'ry_ feller come
+here for _somethin'_ darn it!" with which sympathizing expression the
+colonel again retired.
+
+"I'll give you as much as the bank offers," said Mr. Botayne.
+
+"Very sorry, sir; but can't," replied the detective. "We'd be just as
+bad then in the eyes of the law as before. Reward, five thousand, bank
+lose twenty-five thousand--thirty thousand, in odd figures, is least we
+could take. Even _that_ wouldn't be reg'lar; but it would be a safe
+risk, seeing all the bank cares for's to get its money back."
+
+Mr. Botayne groaned.
+
+"We'll make it as pleasant as we can for you, sir," continued the
+detective, "if you and the lady'll go back on the ship with us. We'll
+give him the liberty of the ship as soon as we're well away from land.
+We'd consider it our duty to watch him, of course; but we'd try to do it
+so's not to give offense--we've _got_ hearts, though we _are_ in this
+business. Hope you can buy him clear when you get home, sir?"
+
+"I've sacrificed everything to get here--I can never clear him," sighed
+Mr Botayne.
+
+"_I_ can!" exclaimed a clear, manly voice.
+
+Millicent raised her eyes, and for the first time saw Jim Hockson.
+
+She gave him a look in which astonishment, gratitude and fear strove for
+the mastery, and he gave her a straightforward, honest, respectful look
+in return.
+
+The two detectives dropped their lower jaws alarmingly, and raised their
+eyebrows to their hat-rims.
+
+"The bank at San Francisco has an agent here," said Jim. "Colonel, won't
+you fetch him?"
+
+The colonel took a lively double-quick, and soon returned with a
+business-looking man.
+
+"Mr. Green," said Jim, "please tell me how much I have in your bank?"
+
+The clerk looked over a small book he extracted from his pocket, and
+replied, briefly:
+
+"Over two thousand ounces."
+
+"Please give these gentlemen a check, made whatever way they like it,
+for the equivalent of thirty thousand dollars. I'll sign it," said Jim.
+
+The clerk and one of the detectives retired to an adjacent hut, and soon
+called Jim. Jim joined them, and immediately he and the officer returned
+to the prisoner.
+
+"It's all right, Maxley," said the officer; "let him go."
+
+The officer removed the handcuffs, and Ethelbert Brown was free. His
+first motion was to seize Jim's hand.
+
+"Hockson, tell me why you helped those detectives," said he.
+
+"Revenge!" replied Jim.
+
+"For what?" cried Brown, changing color.
+
+"Gaining Millie Botayne's love," replied Jim.
+
+Brown looked at Millicent, and read the story from her face.
+
+He turned toward Jim a wondering look, and asked, slowly:
+
+"Then, why did you free me?"
+
+"Because she loved you," said Jim, and then he walked quietly away.
+
+
+V.
+
+"Why, Miss Peekin!"
+
+"It's a fact: Eben Javash, that went out better'n a year ago, hez got
+back, and he wuz at the next diggins an' heerd all about it. 'T seems
+the officers ketched Brown, an' Jim Hockson gave 'em thirty thousand
+dollars to pay them an' the bank too, and then they let him go. Might's
+well ha kept his money, though, seein' Brown washed overboard on the way
+back.
+
+"I ain't a bettin' man," said the deacon, "but I'd risk our white-faced
+cow that them thirty thousand dollars preached the greatest sermon ever
+heerd in Californy--ur in Crankett either."
+
+Miss Peekin threw a withering glance at the deacon; it was good he was
+not on trial for heresy, with Miss Peekin for judge and jury. She
+continued:
+
+"Eben says there was a fellow named Weasel that hid close by, an' heerd
+all 'twas said, and when he went to the rum-shop an' told the miners,
+they hooray'd for Jim ez ef they wuz mad. Just like them crazy
+fellers--they hain't no idee when money's wasted."
+
+"The Lord waste all the money in the world that way!" devoutly
+exclaimed the deacon.
+
+"An' that feller Weasel," continued Miss Peekin, giving the deacon's pet
+cat a vicious kick, "though he'd always been economical, an' never set a
+bad example before by persuadin' folk to be intemprit, actilly drored a
+pistol, and fit with a feller they called Colonel Two--fit for the
+chance of askin' the crowd to drink to Jim Hockson, an' then went aroun'
+to all the diggins, tellin' about Jim, an' wastin' his money treatin'
+folks to drink good luck to Jim. Disgraceful!"
+
+"It's what _I'd_ call a powerful conversion," remarked the deacon.
+
+"But ther's more," said Miss Peekin, with a sigh, and yet with an air of
+importance befitting the bearer of wonderful tidings.
+
+"What?" eagerly asked Mrs. Crankett.
+
+"Jim's back," said Miss Peekin.
+
+"Mercy on us!" cried Mrs. Crankett.
+
+"The Lord bless and prosper him!" earnestly exclaimed the deacon.
+
+"Well," said Miss Peekin, with a disgusted look, "I s'pose He will, from
+the looks o' things; fur Eben sez that when Weasel told the fellers how
+it all wuz, they went to work an' put gold dust in a box fur Jim till
+ther wus more than he giv fur Brown, an' fellers from all round's been
+sendin' him dust ever since. He's mighty sight the richest man anywhere
+near this town."
+
+"Good--bless the Lord!" said the deacon, with delight.
+
+"Ye hain't heerd all of it, though," continued Miss Peekin, with a
+funereal countenance. "They're going to be married."
+
+"Sakes alive '" gasps Mrs. Crankett.
+
+"It's so," said Miss Peekin; "an' they say she sent for him, by way of
+the Isthmus, an' he come back that way. Bad enough to marry him, when
+poor Brown hain't been dead six months, but to _send_ for him--"
+
+"Wuz a real noble, big-hearted, womanly thing to do," declared Mrs.
+Crankett, snatching off her spectacles; "an' I'd hev done it myself ef
+I'd been her."
+
+The deacon gave his old wife an enthusiastic hug; upon seeing which Miss
+Peekin hastily departed, with a severely shocked expression of
+countenance and a nose aspiring heavenward.
+
+
+
+
+MAKING HIS MARK.
+
+
+Black Hat was, in 1851, about as peaceful and well-regulated a village
+as could be found in the United States.
+
+It was not on the road to any place, so it grew but little; the dirt
+paid steadily and well, so but few of the original settlers went away.
+
+The march of civilization, with its churches and circuses, had not yet
+reached Black Hat; marriages never convulsed the settlement with the pet
+excitement of villages generally, and the inhabitants were never arrayed
+at swords' point by either religion, politics or newspapers.
+
+To be sure, the boys gambled every evening and all day Sunday; but a
+famous player, who once passed that way on a prospecting-trip, declared
+that even a preacher would get sick of such playing; for, as everybody
+knew everybody else's game, and as all men who played other than
+squarely had long since been required to leave, there was an utter
+absence of pistols at the tables.
+
+Occasional disagreements took place, to be sure--they have been taking
+place, even among the best people, since the days of Cain and Abel; but
+all difficulties at Black Hat which did not succumb to force of jaw were
+quietly locked in the bosoms of the disputants until the first Sunday.
+
+Sunday, at Black Hat, orthodoxically commenced at sunset on Saturday,
+and was piously extended through to working-time on Monday morning, and
+during this period of thirty-six hours there was submitted to
+arbitrament, by knife or pistol, all unfinished rows of the week.
+
+On Sunday was also performed all of the hard drinking at Black Hat; but
+through the week the inhabitants worked as steadily and lived as
+peacefully as if surrounded by church-steeples court-houses and jails.
+
+Whether owing to the inevitable visitations of the great disturber of
+affairs in the Garden of Eden, or only in the due course of that
+developement which affects communities as well as species, we know not,
+but certain it is that suddenly the city fathers at Black Hat began to
+wear thoughtful faces and wrinkled brows, to indulge in unusual periods
+of silence, and to drink and smoke as if these consoling occupations
+were pursued more as matters of habit than of enjoyment.
+
+The prime cause of the uneasiness of these good men was a red-faced,
+red-haired, red-whiskered fellow, who had been nicknamed "Captain," on
+account of the military cut of the whiskers mentioned above.
+
+The captain was quite a good fellow; but he was suffering severely from
+"the last infirmity of noble minds"--ambition.
+
+He had gone West to make a reputation, and so openly did he work for it
+that no one doubted his object; and so untiring and convincing was he,
+that, in two short weeks, he had persuaded the weaker of the brethren at
+Black Hat that things in general were considerably out of joint. And as
+a, little leaven leaveneth the whole lump, every man at Black Hat was
+soon discussing the captain's criticisms, and was neglecting the more
+peaceable matters of cards and drink, which had previously occupied
+their leisure hours.
+
+The captain was always fully charged with opinions on every subject, and
+his eloquent voice was heard at length on even the smallest matter that
+interested the camp. One day a disloyal miner remarked:
+
+"Captain's jaw is a reg'lar air-trigger; reckon he'll run the camp when
+Whitey leaves."
+
+Straightway a devout respecter of the "powers that be" carried the
+remark to Whitey, the chief of the camp.
+
+Now, it happened that Whitey, an immense but very peaceable and sensible
+fellow, had just been discussing with some of his adherents the probable
+designs of the captain, and this new report seemed to arrive just in
+time, for Whitey instantly said:
+
+"Thar he goes agin, d'ye see, pokin' his shovel in all aroun'. Now, ef
+the boys want me to leave, they kin say so, an' I'll go. 'Tain't the
+easiest claim in the world to work, runnin' this camp ain't, an' I'll
+never hanker to be chief nowhar else; but seein' I've stuck to the boys,
+an' seen 'em through from the fust, 'twouldn't be exactly gent'emanly,
+'pears to me."
+
+And for a moment Whitey hid his emotions in a tin cup, from which
+escaped perfumes suggesting the rye-fields of Kentucky.
+
+"Nobody wants you to go, Whitey," said Wolverine, one of the chief's
+most faithful supporters. "Didn't yer kick that New Hampshire feller out
+of camp when he kept a-sayin' the saloon wuz the gate o' hell?"
+
+"Well," said the chief, with a flush of modest pride, "I don't deny it;
+but _I_ wont remind the boys of it, ef they've forgot it."
+
+"An' didn't yer go to work," said another, "when all the fellers was
+a-askin' what was to be done with them Chinesers--didn't yer just order
+the boys to clean 'em out to wunst?"
+
+"That ain't the best thing yer dun, neither!" exclaimed a third. "I
+wonder does any of them galoots forgit how the saloon got a-fire when
+ev'rybody was asleep--how the chief turned out the camp, and after the
+barkeeper got out the door, how the chief rushed in an' rolled out all
+three of the barrels, and then went dead-bent fur the river with his
+clothes all a-blazin'? Whar'd we hev been for a couple of weeks ef it
+hadn't bin fur them bar'ls?"
+
+The remembrance of this gallant act so affected Wolverine, that he
+exclaimed:
+
+"Whitey, we'll stick to yer like tar-an'-feather, an' ef cap'n an' his
+friends git troublesome we'll jes' show 'em the trail, an' seggest
+they're big enough to git up a concern uv their own, instid of tryin' to
+steal somebody else's."
+
+The chief felt that he was still dear to the hearts of his subjects, and
+so many took pains that day to renew their allegiance that he grew
+magnanimous--in fact, when the chief that evening invited the boys to
+drink, he pushed his own particular bottle to the captain--an attention
+as delicate as that displayed by a clergyman when he invites into his
+pulpit the minister of a different creed.
+
+Still the captain labored. So often did the latter stand treat that the
+barkeeper suddenly ran short of liquor, and was compelled, for a week,
+to restrict general treats to three per diem until he could lay in a
+fresh stock.
+
+The captain could hit corks and half-dollars in the air almost every
+time, but no opportunity occurred in which he could exercise his
+markmanship for the benefit of the camp.
+
+He also told any number of good stories, at which the boys, Whitey
+included, laughed heartily; he sang jolly songs, with a very fair tenor
+voice, and all the boys joined in the chorus; and he played a banjo in
+style, which always set the boys to capering as gracefully as a crowd of
+bachelor bears.
+
+But still Whitey remained in camp and in office, and the captain, who
+was as humane as he was ambitious, had no idea of attempting to remove
+the old chief by force.
+
+On Monday night the whole camp retired early, and slept soundly. Monday
+had at all times a very short evening at Black Hat, for the boys were
+generally weary after the duties and excitements of Sunday; but on this
+particular Monday a slide had threatened on the hillside, and the boys
+had been hard at work cutting and carrying huge logs to make a break or
+barricade.
+
+So, soon after supper they took a drink or two, and sprinkled to their
+several huts, and Black Hat was at peace, There were no dogs or cats to
+make night hideous--no uneasy roosters to be sounding alarm at unearthly
+hours--no horrible policemen thumping the sidewalks with clubs--no
+fashionable or dissipated people rattling about in carriages. Excepting
+an occasional cough, or sneeze, or over-loud snore, the most perfect
+peace reigned at Black Hat.
+
+[Illustration: THEY FOUND HIM SENSELESS, AND CARRIED HIM TO THE SALOON,
+WHERE THE CANDLES WERE ALREADY LIGHTED. ONE OF THE MINERS, WHO HAD BEEN
+A DOCTOR, PROMPTLY EXAMINED HIS BRUISES.]
+
+Suddenly a low but heavy rumble, and a trembling of the ground, roused
+every man in camp, and, rushing out of their huts, the miners saw a mass
+of stones and earth had been loosened far up the hillside, and were
+breaking over the barricade in one place, and coming down in a perfect
+torrent.
+
+They were fortunately moving toward the river on a line obstructed by no
+houses, though the hut of old Miller, who was very sick, was close to
+the rocky torrent.
+
+But while they stared, a young pine-tree, perhaps a foot thick, which
+had been torn loose by the rocks and brought down by them, suddenly
+tumbled, root first, over a steep rock, a few feet in front of old
+Miller's door. The leverage exerted by the lower portion of the stem
+threw the whole tree into a vertical position for an instant; then it
+caught the wind, tottered, and finally fell directly on the front of old
+Miller's hut, crushing in the gable and a portion of the front door, and
+threatening the hut and its unfortunate occupant with immediate
+destruction.
+
+A deep groan and many terrible oaths burst from the boys, and then, with
+one impulse, they rushed to the tree and attempted to move it; but it
+lay at an angle of about forty-five degrees from the horizontal, its
+roots heavy with dirt, on the ground in front of the door, and its top
+high in the air.
+
+The boys could only lift the lower portion; but should they do so, then
+the hut would be entirely crushed by the full weight of the tree.
+
+There was no window through which they could get Miller out, and there
+was no knowing how long the frail hut could resist the weight of the
+tree.
+
+Suddenly a well-known voice was heard shouting;
+
+"Keep your head level, Miller, old chap--we'll hev you out of that in no
+time. Hurry up, somebody, and borrow the barkeeper's ropes. While I'm
+cuttin', throw a rope over the top, and when she commences to go, haul
+all together and suddenly, then 'twill clear the hut."
+
+In an instant later the boys saw, by the bright moonlight, the captain,
+bareheaded, barefooted, with open shirt, standing on the tree directly
+over the crushed gable, and chopping with frantic rapidity.
+
+"Hooray for cap'en!" shouted some one.
+
+"Hooray!" replied the crowd, and a feeble "hooray"' was heard from
+between the logs of old Miller's hut.
+
+Two or three men came hurrying back with the ropes, and one of them was
+dexterously thrown across a branch of the tree. Then the boys
+distributed themselves along both ends of the rope.
+
+"Easy!" screamed the captain. "Plenty of time. I'll give the word. When
+I say, 'Now,' pull quick and all together. I won't be long."
+
+And big chips flew in undiminished quantity, while a commendatory murmur
+ran along both lines of men, and Whitey, the chief, knelt with his lips
+to one of the chinks of the hut, and assured old Miller that he was
+perfectly safe.
+
+"Now!" shrieked the captain, suddenly.
+
+In his excitement, he stepped toward the top instead of the root of the
+tree; in an instant the top of the tree was snatched from the hut, but
+it tossed the unfortunate captain into the air as easily as a sling
+tosses a stone.
+
+Every one rushed to the spot where he had fallen. They found him
+senseless, and carried him to the saloon, where the candles were already
+lighted. One of the miners, who had been a doctor, promptly examined his
+bruises, and exclaimed:
+
+"He's two or three broken ribs, that's all. It's a wonder he didn't
+break every bone in his body. He'll be around all right inside of a
+month."
+
+"Gentlemen," said Whitey, "I resign. All in favor of the cap'en will
+please say 'I.'"
+
+"I," replied every one.
+
+"I don't put the noes," continued Whitey, "because I'm a peaceable man,
+and don't want to hev to kick any man mean enough to vote no. Cap'en,
+you'r boss of this camp, and I'm yourn obediently."
+
+The captain opened his eyes slowly, and replied:
+
+"I'm much obliged, boys, but I won't give Whitey the trouble. Doctor's
+mistaken--there's someting broken inside, and I haven't got many minutes
+more to live."
+
+"Do yer best, cap'en," said the barkeeper, encouragingly. "Promise me
+you'll stay alive, and I'll go straight down to 'Frisco, and get you all
+the champagne you can drink."
+
+"You're very kind," replied the captain, faintly; "but I'm sent for, and
+I've got to go. I've left the East to make my mark, but I didn't expect
+to make it in real estate. Whitey, I was a fool for wanting to be chief
+of Black Hat, and you've forgiven me like a gentleman and a Christian.
+It's getting dark--I'm thirsty--I'm going--gone!"
+
+The doctor felt the captain's wrist, and said:
+
+"Fact, gentlemen, he's panned his last dirt."
+
+"Do the honors, boys," said the barkeeper, placing glasses along the
+bar.
+
+Each man filled his glass, and all looked at Whitey.
+
+"Boys," said Whitey, solemnly, "ef the cap'en hed struck a nugget, good
+luck might hev spiled him; ef he'd been chief of Black Hat, or any other
+place, he might hev got shot. But he's made his mark, so nobody
+begrudges him, an' nobody can rub it out. So here's to 'the cap'en's
+mark, a dead sure thing.' Bottoms up."
+
+The glasses were emptied in silence, and turned bottoms uppermost on the
+bar.
+
+The boys were slowly dispersing, when one, who was strongly suspected of
+having been a Church member remarked:
+
+"He was took of a sudden, so he shouldn't be stuck up."
+
+Whitey turned to him, and replied, with some asperity:
+
+"Young man, you'll be lucky ef _you're_ ever stuck up as high as the
+captain."
+
+And all the boys understood what Whitey meant.
+
+
+
+
+CODAGO.
+
+
+Two o'clock A.M. is supposed to be a popular sleeping hour the world
+over, and as Flatfoot Bar was a portion of the terrestrial sphere, it
+was but natural to expect its denizens to be in bed at that hour.
+
+Yet, on a certain morning twenty years ago, when there was neither
+sickness nor a fashionable entertainment to excuse irregular hours in
+camp, a bright light streamed from the only window of Chagres Charley's
+residence at Flatfoot Bar, and inside of the walls of Chagres Charley's
+domicile were half a dozen miners engaged in earnest conversation.
+
+Flatfoot Bar had never formally elected a town committee, for the
+half-dozen men aforesaid had long ago modestly assumed the duties and
+responsibilities of city fathers, and so judicious had been their
+conduct, that no one had ever expressed a desire for a change in the
+government.
+
+The six men, in half a dozen different positions, surrounded Chagres
+Charley's fire, and gazed into it as intently as if they were
+fire-worshipers awaiting the utterances of a salamanderish oracle.
+
+But the doughty Puritans of Cromwell's time, while they trusted in God,
+carefully protected their powder from moisture, and the devout
+Mohammedan, to this day, ties up his camel at night before committing it
+to the keeping of the higher powers; so it was but natural that the
+anxious ones at Flatfoot Bar vigorously ventilated their own ideas while
+they longed for light and knowledge.
+
+"They ain't ornaments to camp, no way you can fix it, them Greasers
+ain't," said a tall miner, bestowing an effective kick upon a stick of
+firewood, which had departed a short distance from his neighbors.
+
+"Mississip's right, fellers," said the host. "They ain't got the
+slightest idee of the duties of citizens. They show themselves down to
+the saloon, to be sure, an' I never seed one of 'em a-waterin.' his
+liquor; but when you've sed that, you've sed ev'rythin'."
+
+"Our distinguished friend, speaks truthfully," remarked Nappy Boney, the
+only Frenchman in camp, and possessing a nickname playfully contracted
+from the name of the first emperor. "_La gloire_ is nothing to them.
+Comprehends any one that they know not even of France's most illustrious
+son, _le petit caporal_?"
+
+"That's bad, to be sure," said Texas, cutting an enormous chew of
+tobacco, and passing both plug and knife; "but that might be overlooked;
+mebbe the schools down in Mexico ain't up with the times. What I'm down
+on is, they hain't got none of the eddication that comes nateral to a
+gentleman, even, ef he never seed the outside of a schoolhouse. Who ever
+heerd of one of 'em hevin' a difficulty with any gentleman, at the
+saloon or on the crick? They drar a good deal of blood, but it's allers
+from some of their own kind, an' up there by 'emselves. Ef they hed a
+grain of public spirit, not to say liberality, they'd do some of their
+amusements before the rest of us, instead of gougin' the camp out of
+_its_ constitutional amusements. Why, I've knowed the time when I've
+held in fur six hours on a stretch, till there could be fellers enough
+around to git a good deal of enjoyment out of it."
+
+"They wash out a sight of dust!" growled Lynn Taps, from the
+Massachusetts shoe district; "but I never could git one of 'em to put up
+an ounce on a game--they jest play by 'emselves, an' keep all their
+washin's to home."
+
+"Blarst 'em hall! let's give 'em tickets-o'-leave, an' show em the
+trail!" roared Bracelets, a stout Englishman, who had on each wrist a
+red scar, which had suggested his name and unpleasant situations. "I
+believe in fair play, but I darsn't keep my eyes hoff of 'em
+sleepy-lookin' tops, when their flippers is anywheres near their knives,
+you know."
+
+"Well, what's to be done to 'em?" demanded Lynn Taps. "All this jawin's
+well enough, but jaw never cleared out anybody 'xcep' that time Samson
+tried, an' _then_ it came from an individual that wasn't related to any
+of _this_ crowd."
+
+"Let 'em alone till next time they git into a muss, an' then clean 'em
+all out of camp," said Chagres Charley. "Let's hev it onderstood that
+while this camp cheerfully recognizes the right of a gentleman to shoot
+at sight an' lay out his man, that it considers stabbin' in the dark's
+the same thing as murder. Them's our principles, and folks might's well
+know 'em fust as last. Good Lord! what's that?"
+
+All the men started to their feet at the sound of a long, loud yell.
+
+"That's one of 'em now!" ejaculated Mississip, with a huge oath. "Nobody
+but a Greaser ken holler that way--sounds like the last despairin' cry
+of a dyin' mule. There's only eight or nine of 'em, an' each of us is
+good fur two Greasers apiece--let's make 'em git this minnit."
+
+And Mississip dashed out of the door, followed by the other five,
+revolvers in hand.
+
+The Mexicans lived together, in a hut made of raw hides, one of which
+constituted the door.
+
+The devoted six reached the hut, Texas snatched aside the hide, and each
+man presented his pistol at full cock.
+
+But no one fired; on the contrary, each man slowly dropped his pistol,
+and opened his eyes.
+
+There was no newly made corpse visible, nor did any Greasers savagely
+wave a bloody stiletto.
+
+But on the ground, insensible, lay a Mexican woman, and about her stood
+seven or eight Greasers, each looking even more dumb, incapable, and
+solemn than usual.
+
+The city fathers felt themselves in an awkward position, and Mississip
+finally asked, in the meekest of tones:
+
+"What's the matter?"
+
+"She Codago's wife," softly replied a Mexican. "They fight in
+Chihuahua--he run away--she follow. She come here now--this minute--she
+fall on Codago--she say something, we know not--he scream an' run."
+
+"He's a low-lived scoundrel!" said Chagres Charley, between his teeth.
+"Ef _my_ wife thort enough of me to follow me to the diggin's, I
+wouldn't do much runnin' away. He's a reg'lar black-hearted,
+white-livered--"
+
+"Sh--h--h!" whispered Nappy, the Frenchman. "The lady is recovering, and
+she may have a heart."
+
+"_Maria, Madre purissima_!" low wailed the woman. "_Mi nino--mi nino
+perdido_!"
+
+"What's she a-sayin'?" asked Lynn Taps, in a whisper.
+
+"She talk about little boy lost," said the Mexican.
+
+"An' her husband gone, too, poor woman!" said Chagres Charley, in the
+most sympathizing tones ever heard at Flatfoot Bar. "But a doctor'd be
+more good to her jes' now than forty sich husbands as her'n. Where's the
+nearest doctor, fellers?" continued Chagres Charley.
+
+"Up to Dutch Hill," said Texas; "an' I'll see he's fetched inside of two
+hours."
+
+Saying which, Texas dropped the raw-hide door, and hurried off.
+
+The remaining five strolled slowly back to Chagres Charley's hut.
+
+"Them Greasers hain't never got nothin'," said Mississip, suddenly; "an'
+that woman'll lay thar on the bare ground all night 'fore they think of
+makin' her comfortable. Who's got an extra blanket?"
+
+"I!" said each of the four others; and Nappy Boney expressed the feeling
+of the whole party by exclaiming:
+
+"The blue sky is enough good to cover man when woman needs blankets."
+
+Hastily Mississip collected the four extra blankets and both of his own,
+and, as he sped toward the Mexican hut, he stopped several times by the
+way to dexterously snatch blankets from sleeping forms.
+
+"Here you be," said he, suddenly entering the Mexican hut, and
+startling the inmates into crossing themselves violently. "Make the poor
+thing a decent bed, an' we'll hev a doctor here pretty soon."
+
+[Illustration: SUDDENLY, BY THE GLARE OF A FRESH LIGHT, THE BOYS SAW THE
+FACE OF A RATHER DIRTY, LARGE-EYED, BROWN SKINNED MEXICAN BABY.]
+
+Mississip had barely vanished, when a light scratching was heard on the
+door.
+
+A Mexican opened it, and saw Nappy Boney, with extended hand and bottle.
+
+"It is the _eau-de-vie_ of _la belle France_," he whispered. "Tenderly
+I have cherished, but it is at the lady's service."
+
+Chagres Charley, Lynn Taps and Bracelets were composing their nerves
+with pipes about the fire they had surrounded early in the morning. Lynn
+Taps had just declared his disbelief of a soul inside of the Mexican
+frame, when the door was thrown open and an excited Mexican appeared.
+
+"Her tongue come back!" he cried. "She say she come over mountain--she
+bring little boy--she no eat, it was long time. Soon she must die, boy
+must die. What she do? She put round boy her cloak, an' leave him by
+rock, an' hurry to tell. Maybe coyote get him. What can do?"
+
+"What can we do?" echoed Lynn Taps; "turn out every galoot in camp, and
+foller her tracks till we find it. Souls or no souls, don't make no
+diff'rence. I'll tramp my legs off, 'fore that child shall be left out
+in the snow in them mountains."
+
+Within five minutes every man in camp had been aroused.
+
+Each man swore frightfully at being prematurely turned out--each man
+hated the Greasers with all his heart and soul and strength; but each
+man, as he learned what was the matter, made all possible haste, and
+fluently cursed all who were slower than himself.
+
+In fact, two or three irrepressible spirits, consuming with delay,
+started alone on independent lines of search.
+
+Chagres Charley appeared promptly, and assumed command.
+
+"Boys," said he, "we'll sprinkle out into a line a couple of miles long,
+and march up the mountain till we reach the snow. When I think it's
+time, I'll fire three times, an' then each feller'll face an' tramp to
+the right, keepin' a keerful lookout for a woman's tracks p'intin'
+t'ward camp. Ther can't be no mistakin' 'em, for them sennyritas hez the
+littlest kind o' feet. When any feller finds her tracks, he'll fire, an'
+then we'll rally on him. I wish them other fellers, instid of goin' off
+half-cocked, hed tracked Codago, the low-lived skunk. To think of him
+runnin' away from wife, an' young one, too! Forward, git!"
+
+"They _hain't_ got no souls--that's what made him do it, Charley," said
+Lynn Taps, as the men deployed.
+
+Steadily the miners ascended the rugged slope; rocks, trees, fallen
+trunks and treacherous holes impeded their progress, but did not stop
+them.
+
+A steady wind cut them to the bone, and grew more keen and fierce as
+they neared the snow.
+
+Suddenly Chagres Charley fired, and the boys faced to the right--a
+moment later another shot rallied the party; those nearest it found
+Nappy Boney in a high state of excitement, and leaning over a
+foot-print.
+
+"_Mon Dieu_!" he cried; "they have not the _esprit_, those Mexicans; but
+her footprints might have been made by the adorable feet of one of my
+countrywomen, it is so small."
+
+"Yes," said Mississip; "an' one of them fellers that started ahead hez
+found it fust, fur here's a man's track a-goin' up."
+
+Rapidly the excited miners followed the tracks through the snow, and
+found them gradually leading to the regular trail across the mountain,
+which trail few men ventured upon at that season. Suddenly the men in
+advance stopped.
+
+"Here 'tis, I reckon!" cried Mississip, springing across a small cleft
+in the rocks, and running toward a dark object lying on the sheltered
+side of a small cliff. "Good God!" he continued, as he stooped down;
+"it's Codago! An' he's froze stiff."
+
+"Serve him right, cuss him," growled Lynn Taps. "I almost wish he _had_
+a soul, so he could catch it good an' hot, now he's gone!"
+
+"He's got his pack with him," shouted Mississip, "and a huggin' it ez
+tight ez ef he could take it to--to wherever he's gone to.".
+
+"No man with a soul could hev ben cool enough to pack up his traps after
+seein' that poor woman's face," argued Lynn Taps.
+
+Mississip tore off a piece of his trowsers, struck fire with flint and
+steel, poured on whisky, and blew it into a flame.
+
+Rapidly the miners straggled up the trail, and halted opposite
+Mississip.
+
+"Well, I'll be durned!" shouted the latter; "he ain't got no shirt on,
+an' there's an ugly cut in his arm. It beats anything I ever seed!"
+
+One by one the miners leaped the cleft, and crowded about Mississip and
+stared.
+
+It was certainly Codago, and there was certainly his pack, made up in
+his poncho, in the usual Greaser manner, and held tightly in his arms.
+
+But while they stared, there was a sudden movement of the pack itself.
+
+Lynn Taps gave a mighty tug at it, extricated it from the dead man's
+grasp, and rapidly undid it.
+
+Suddenly, by the glare of a fresh light, the boys saw the face of a
+rather dirty, large-eyed, brown-skinned Mexican baby; and the baby,
+probably by way of recognition, raised high a voice such as the boys
+never heard before on that side of the Rocky Mountains.
+
+"Here's what that cut in his arm means," shouted a miner who had struck
+a light on the trail; "there's a finger-mark, done in blood on the snow,
+by the side of the trail, an' a-pintin' right to that ledge; an' here's
+his shirt a-flappin' on a stick stuck in a snow-bank lookin' t'ward
+camp."
+
+"There ain't no doubt 'bout what the woman said to him, or what made him
+yell an' git, boys," said Chagres Charley, solemnly, as he took a
+blanket from his shoulders and spread it on the ground.
+
+Mississip took off his hat, and lifting the poor Mexican from the snow,
+laid him in the blanket. Lynn Taps hid the baby, rewrapped, under his
+own blanket, and hurried down the mountain, while four men picked up
+Codago and followed.
+
+Lynn Taps scratched on the rawhide door; the doctor opened it.
+
+Lynn Tapps unrolled the bundle, and its occupant again raised its
+voice.
+
+The woman, who was lying motionless and with closed eyes, sprang to her
+feet in an instant, and as Lynn Taps laid his burden on the blankets,
+the woman, her every dull feature softened and lighted with motherly
+tenderness, threw her arms about the astonished Yankee, and then fell
+sobbing at his feet.
+
+"You've brought her the only medicine that'll do her any good," said the
+doctor, giving the baby a gentle dig under the ribs as he picked up his
+saddle-bags.
+
+Lynn Taps made a hasty escape, and reached the saloon, which had been
+hurriedly opened as the crowd was heard approaching.
+
+The bearers of the body deposited it gently on the floor, and the crowd
+filed in quietly.
+
+Lynn Taps walked up to the bar, and rapped upon it.
+
+"Walk up, boys," said he; "fill high; hats off. Here's Codago. Maybe he
+_didn't_ have a soul, but if he _didn't_, souls ain't needed in this
+world. Buttoms up, every man."
+
+The toast was drunk quietly and reverently, and when it was suggested
+that the Greasers themselves should have participated, they were all
+summoned, and the same toast was drank again.
+
+The next day, as the body of Codago was being carried to a newly dug
+grave, on the high ground overlooking the creek, and the Mexicans stood
+about, as if dumb staring and incessant smoking were the only
+proprieties to be observed on such occasions, Lynn Taps thoughtfully
+offered his arm to the weeping widow, and so sorrowful was she
+throughout the performance of the sad rites, that Lynn Taps was heard to
+remark that, however it might be with the men, there could be no doubt
+about Mexican women's possessing souls. As a few weeks later the widow
+became Mrs. Lynn Taps, there can be no doubt that her second husband's
+final convictions were genuine.
+
+
+
+
+THE LAST PIKE AT JAGGER'S BEND
+
+
+Where they came from no one knew. Among the farmers near the Bend there
+was ample ability to conduct researches beset by far more difficulties
+than was that of the origin of the Pikes; but a charge of buckshot which
+a good-natured Yankee received one evening, soon after putting questions
+to a venerable Pike, exerted a depressing influence upon the spirit of
+investigation. They were not bloodthirsty, these Pikes, but they had
+good reason to suspect all inquirers of being at least deputy sheriffs,
+if not worse; and a Pike's hatred of officers of the law is equaled in
+intensity only by his hatred for manual labor.
+
+But while there was doubt as to the fatherland of the little colony of
+Pikes at Jagger's Bend, their every neighbor would willingly make
+affidavit as to the cause of their locating and remaining at the Bend.
+When humanitarians and optimists argued that it was because the water
+was good and convenient, that the Bend itself caught enough drift-wood
+for fuel, and that the dirt would yield a little gold when manipulated
+by placer and pan, all farmers and stockowners would freely admit the
+validity of these reasons; but the admission was made with a countenance
+whose indignation and sorrow indicated that the greater causes were yet
+unnamed. With eyes speaking emotions which words could not express, they
+would point to sections of wheatfields minus the grain-bearing heads--to
+hides and hoofs of cattle unslaughtered by themselves--to mothers of
+promising calves, whose tender bleatings answered not the maternal
+call--to the places which had once known fine horses, but had been
+untenanted since certain Pikes had gone across, the mountains for game.
+They would accuse no man wrongfully, but in a country where all farmers
+had wheat and cattle and horses, and where prowling Indians and Mexicans
+were not, how could these disappearances occur?
+
+But to people owning no property in the neighborhood--to tourists and
+artists--the Pike settlement at the Bend was as interesting and ugly as
+a skye-terrier. The architecture of the village was of original style,
+and no duplicate existed. Of the half-dozen residences, one was composed
+exclusively of sod; another of bark; yet another of poles, roofed with a
+wagon-cover, and plastered on the outside with mud; the fourth was of
+slabs, nicely split from logs which had drifted into the Bend; the fifth
+was of hide stretched over a frame strictly gothic from foundation to
+ridgepole; while the sixth, burrowed into the hillside, displayed only
+the barrel which formed its chimney.
+
+A more aristocratic community did not exist on the Pacific Coast. Visit
+the Pikes when you would, you could never see any one working. Of
+churches, school-houses, stores and other plebeian institutions, there
+were none; and no Pike demeaned himself by entering trade, or soiled his
+hands by agriculture.
+
+Yet unto this peaceful, contented neighborhood there found his way a
+visitor who had been everywhere in the world without once being made
+welcome. He came to the house built of slabs, and threatened the wife of
+Sam Trotwine, owner of the house; and Sam, after sunning himself
+uneasily for a day or two, mounted a pony, and rode off for a doctor to
+drive the intruder away.
+
+When he returned he found all the men in the camp seated on a log in
+front of his own door, and then he knew he must prepare for the
+worst--only one of the great influences of the world could force every
+Pike from his own door at exactly the same time. There they sat,
+yellow-faced, bearded, long-backed and bent, each looking like the
+other, find all like Sam; and, as he dismounted, they all looked at him.
+
+"How is she?" said Sam, tying his horse and the doctor's, while the
+latter went in.
+
+"Well," said the oldest man, with deliberation, "the wimmin's all thar
+ef that's any sign."
+
+Each man on the log inclined his head slightly but positively to the
+left, thus manifesting belief that Sam had been correctly and
+sufficiently answered. Sam himself seemed to regard his information in
+about the same manner.
+
+Suddenly the raw hide which formed the door of Sam's house was pushed
+aside, and a woman came out and called Sam, and he disappeared from his
+log.
+
+As he entered his hut, all the women lifted sorrowful faces and retired;
+no one even lingered, for the Pike has not the common human interest in
+other people's business; he lacks that, as well as certain similar
+virtues of civilization.
+
+Sam dropped by the bedside, and was human; his heart was in the right
+place; and though heavily intrenched by years of laziness and whisky and
+tobacco, it _could_ be brought to the front, and it came now.
+
+The dying woman cast her eyes appealingly at the surgeon, and that
+worthy stepped outside the door. Then the yellow-faced woman said:
+
+"Sam, doctor says I ain't got much time left."
+
+"Mary," said Sam, "I wish ter God I could die fur yer. The children--"
+
+"It's them I want to talk about, Sam," replied his wife. 'An' I wish
+they could die with me, rather'n hev 'em liv ez I've hed to. Not that
+you ain't been a kind husband to me, for you hev. Whenever I wanted meat
+yev got it, somehow; an' when yev been ugly drunk, yev kep' away from
+the house. But I'm dyin', Sam, and it's cos you've killed me."
+
+"Good God, Mary!" cried the astonished Sam, jumping up; "yure
+crazy--here, doctor!"
+
+"Doctor can't do no good, Sam; keep still, and listen, ef yer love me
+like yer once said yer did; for I hevn't got much breath left," gasped
+the woman.
+
+"Mary," said the aggrieved Sam, "I swow to God I dunno what yer drivin'
+at."
+
+"It's jest this, Sam," replied the woman: "Yer tuk me, tellin' me ye'd
+love me an' honor me an' pertect me. You mean to say, now, yev done it?
+I'm a-dyin', Sam--I hain't got no favors to ask of nobody, an' I'm
+tellin' the truth, not knowin' what word'll be my last."
+
+"Then tell a feller where the killin' came in, Mary, for heaven's sake,"
+said the unhappy Sam.
+
+"It's come in all along, Sam," said the woman; "there is women in the
+States, so I've heerd, that marries fur a home, an' bread an' butter,
+but you promised more'n that, Sam. An' I've waited. An' it ain't come.
+An' there's somethin' in me that's all starved and cut to pieces. An'
+it's your fault, Sam. I tuk yer fur better or fur wuss, an' I've never
+grumbled."
+
+"I know yer hain't, Mary," whispered the conscience-stricken Pike. "An'
+I know what yer mean. Ef God'll only let yer be fur a few years, I'll
+see ef the thing can't be helped. Don't cuss me, Mary--I've never knowed
+how I've been a-goin'. I wish there was somethin' I could do 'fore you
+go, to pay yer all I owe yer. I'd go back on everything that makes life
+worth hevin'."
+
+"Pay it to the children, Sam," said the sick woman, raising herself in
+her miserable bed. "I'll forgive yer everything if you'll do the right
+thing fur them. Do--do--everything!" said the woman, throwing up her
+arms and falling backward. Her husband's arm caught her; his lips
+brought to her wan face a smile, which the grim visitor, who an instant
+later stole her breath, pityingly left in full possession of the
+rightful inheritance from which it had been so long excluded.
+
+Sam knelt for a moment with his face beside his wife--what he said or
+did the Lord only knew, but the doctor, who was of a speculative mind,
+afterward said that when Sam appeared at the door he showed the first
+Pike face in which he had ever seen any signs of a soul.
+
+Sam went to the sod house, where lived the oldest woman in the camp, and
+briefly announced the end of his wife. Then, after some consultation
+with the old woman, Sam rode to town on one of his horses, leading
+another. He came back with but one horse and a large bundle; and soon
+the women were making for Mrs. Trotwine her last earthly robe, and the
+first new one she had worn for years. The next day a wagon brought a
+coffin and a minister, and the whole camp silently and respectfully
+followed Mrs. Trotwine to a home with which she could find no fault.
+
+For three days all the male Pikes in the camp sat on the log in front of
+Sam's door, and expressed their sympathy as did the three friends of
+Job--that is, they held their peace. But on the fourth their tongues
+were unloosed. As a conversationalist the Pike is not a success, but
+Sam's actions were so unusual and utterly unheard of, that it seemed as
+if even the stones must have wondered and communed among themselves.
+
+"I never heard of such a thing," said Brown Buck; "he's gone an' bought
+new clothes for each of the four young 'uns."
+
+"Yes," said the patriarch of the camp, "an' this mornin', when I went
+down to the bank to soak my head, 'cos last night's liquor didn't agree
+with it, I seed Sam with all his young 'uns as they wuz a washin' their
+face an' hands with soap. They'll ketch their death an' be on the hill
+with their mother 'fore long, if he don't look out; somebody ort to
+reason with him."
+
+"'Twon't do no good," sighed Limping Jim. "He's lost his head, an'
+reason just goes into one ear and out at t'other. When he was scrapin'
+aroun' the front door t'other day, an' I asked him what he wuz a-layin'
+the ground all bare an' desolate for, he said he was done keepin'
+pig-pen. Now everybody but him knows he never had a pig. His head's
+gone, just mark my words."
+
+On the morning of the fourth day Sam's friends had just secured a full
+attendance on the log, and were at work upon their first pipes, when
+they were startled by seeing Sam harness his horse in the wagon and put
+all his children into it.
+
+"Whar yer bound fur, Sam?" asked the patriarch.
+
+Sam blushed as near as a Pike could, but answered with only a little
+hesitation:
+
+"Goin' to take 'em to school to Maxfield--goin' to do it ev'ry day."
+
+The incumbent of the log were too nearly paralyzed to remonstrate, but
+after a few moments of silence the patriarch remarked, in tones of
+feeling, yet decision:
+
+"He's hed a tough time of it, but he's no bizness to ruin the
+settlement. I'm an old man myself, an' I need peace of mind, so I'm
+goin' to pack up my traps and mosey. When the folks at Maxfield knows
+what he's doin', they'll make him a constable or a justice, an' I'm too
+much of a man to live nigh any sich."
+
+And next day the patriarch wheeled his family and property to parts
+unknown.
+
+A few days later Jim Merrick, a brisk farmer a few miles from the Bend,
+stood in front of his own house, and shaded his eyes in solemn wonder.
+It couldn't be--he'd never heard of such a thing before yet it
+was--there was no doubt of it--there was a Pike riding right toward him,
+in open daylight. He could swear that Pike had often visited him--that
+is, his wheatfield and corral--after dark, but a daylight visit from a
+Pike was as unusual as a social call of a Samaritan upon a Jew. And when
+Sam--for it was he--approached Merrick and made his business known, the
+farmer was more astonished and confused than he had ever been in his
+life before. Sam wanted to know for how much money Merrick would plow
+and plant a hundred and sixty acres of wheat for him, and whether he
+would take Sam's horse--a fine animal, brought from the States, and for
+which Sam could show a bill of sale--as security for the amount until he
+could harvest and sell his crop. Merrick so well understood the Pike
+nature, that he made a very liberal offer, and afterward said he would
+have paid handsomely for the chance.
+
+A few days later, and the remaining Pikes at the Bend experienced the
+greatest scare that had ever visited their souls. A brisk man came into
+the Bend with a tripod on his shoulder, and a wire chain, and some wire
+pins, and a queer machine under his arm, and before dark the Pikes
+understood that Sam had deliberately constituted himself a renegade by
+entering a quarter section of land. Next morning two more residences
+were empty, and the remaining fathers of the hamlet adorned not Sam's
+log, but wandered about with faces vacant of all expression save the
+agony of the patriot who sees his home invaded by corrupting influences
+too powerful for him to resist.
+
+Then Merrick sent up a gang-plow and eight horses, and the tender green
+of Sam's quarter section was rapidly changed to a dull-brown color,
+which is odious unto the eye of the Pike. Day by day the brown spot grew
+larger, and one morning Sam arose to find all his neighbors departed,
+having wreaked their vengeance upon him by taking away his dogs. And in
+his delight at their disappearance, Sam freely forgave them all.
+
+Regularly the children were carried to and from school, and even to
+Sunday-school--regularly every evening Sam visited the grave on the
+hillside, and came back to lie by the hour looking at the sleeping
+darlings--little by little farmers began to realize that their property
+was undisturbed--little by little Sam's wheat grew and waxed golden; and
+then there came a day when a man from 'Frisco came and changed it into a
+heavier gold--more gold than Sam had ever seen before. And the farmers
+began to stop in to see Sam, and their children came to see his, and
+kind women were unusually kind to the orphans, and as day by day Sam
+took his solitary walk on the hillside, the load on his heart grew
+lighter, until he ceased to fear the day when he, too, should lie there.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+FIRST PRAYER AT HANNEY'S
+
+
+Hanney's Diggings certainly needed a missionary, if any place ever did;
+but, as one of the boys once remarked during a great lack of water, "It
+had to keep on a-needin'." Zealous men came up by steamer _via_ the
+Isthmus, and seemed to consume with their fiery haste to get on board
+the vessel for China and Japan, and carry the glad tidings to the
+heathen. Self-sacrificing souls gave up home and friends, and hurried
+across, overland, to brave the Pacific and bury themselves among the
+Australasian savages. But, though they all passed in sight of Hanney's,
+none of them paused to give any attention to the souls who had flocked
+there. Men came out from 'Frisco and the East to labor with the Chinese
+miners, who were the only peaceable and well-behaved people in the
+mines; but the white-faced, good-natured, hard-swearing, generous,
+heavy-drinking, enthusiastic, murderous Anglo-Saxons they let severely
+alone. Perhaps they thought that hearts in which the good seed had once
+been sown, but failed to come up into fruit, were barren soil; perhaps
+they thought it preferable to be killed and eaten by cannibals than to
+be tumbled into a gulch by a revolver-shot, while the shootist strolled
+calmly off in company with his approving conscience, never thinking to
+ascertain whether his bullet had completed the business, or whether a
+wounded man might not have to fight death and coyotes together.
+
+At any rate, the missionaries let Hanney's alone. If any one with an
+unquenchable desire to carry the Word where it is utterly unknown, a
+digestion without fear, and a full-proof article of common sense (these
+last two requisites are absolute), should be looking for an eligible
+location, Hanney's is just the place for him, and he need give himself
+no trouble for fear some one would step in before him. If he has several
+dozens of similarly constituted friends, they can all find similar
+locations by betaking themselves to any mining camp in the West.
+
+As Hanney's had no preacher, it will be readily imagined it had no
+church. With the first crowd who located there came an insolvent
+rumseller from the East. He called himself Pentecost, which was as near
+his right name as is usual with miners, and the boys dubbed his shop
+"Pentecost Chapel" at once. The name, somehow, reached the East, for
+within a few months there reached the post-office at Hanney's a document
+addressed to "Preacher in charge of Pentecost Chapel." The postmaster
+went up and down the brook in high spirits, and told the boys; they
+instantly dropped shovel and pan, formed line, and escorted the
+postmaster and document to the chapel. Pentecost acknowledged the joke,
+and stood treat for the crowd, after which he solemnly tore the wrapper,
+and disclosed the report of a certain missionary society. Modestly
+expressing his gratification at the honor, and his unworthiness of it,
+he moved that old Thompson, who had the loudest voice in the crowd,
+should read the report aloud, he, Pentecost, volunteering to furnish
+Thompson all necessary spirituous aid during the continuance of his
+task. Thompson promptly signified his acquiescence, cleared his throat
+with a glass of amber-colored liquid, and commenced, the boys meanwhile
+listening attentively, and commenting critically.
+
+"Too much cussed heavenly twang," observed one, disapprovingly, as one
+letter largely composed of Scriptural extracts was read.
+
+"Why the deuce didn't he shoot?" indignantly demanded another, as a tale
+of escape from heathen pursuers was read.
+
+"Shot up wimmen in a derned dark room! Well, _I'll_ be durned!"
+soliloquized a yellow-haired Missourian, as Thompson read an account of
+a Zenana. "Reckon they'd set an infernal sight higher by wimmen if they
+wuz in the diggins' six months--hey, fellers?"
+
+"You bet!" emphatically responded a majority of those present.
+
+Before the boys became very restive, Thompson finished the pamphlet,
+including a few lines on the cover, which stated that the society was
+greatly in need of funds, and that contributions might be sent to the
+society's financial agent in Boston. Thompson gracefully concluded his
+service by passing the hat, with the following net result: Two
+revolvers, one double-barreled pistol, three knives, one watch, two
+rings (both home-made, valuable and fearfully ugly), a pocket-inkstand,
+a silver tobacco-box, and forty or fifty ounces of dust and nuggets.
+Boston Bill, who was notoriously absent-minded, dropped in a
+pocket-comb, but, on being sternly called to order by old Thompson,
+cursed himself most fluently, and redeemed his disgraceful contribution
+with a gold double-eagle. "The Webfoot," who was the most unlucky man in
+camp, had been so wrought upon by the tale of one missionary who had
+lost his all many times in succession, sympathetically contributed his
+only shovel, for which act he was enthusiastically cursed and liberally
+treated at the bar, while the shovel was promptly sold at auction to the
+highest bidder, who presented it, with a staggering slap between the
+shoulders, to its original owner. The remaining non-legal tenders were
+then converted into gold-dust, and the whole dispatched by express, with
+a grim note from Pentecost, to the society's treasurer at Boston. As the
+society was controlled by a denomination which does not understand how
+good can come out of evil, no detail of this contribution ever appeared
+in print. But a few months thereafter there _did_ appear at Hanney's a
+thin-chested, large-headed youth, with a heavily loaded mule, who
+announced himself as duly accredited by the aforementioned society to
+preach the Gospel among the miners. The boys received him cordially,
+and Pentecost offered him the nightly hospitality of curling up to sleep
+in front of the bar-room fireplace. His mule's load proved to consist
+largely of tracts, which he vigorously distributed, and which the boys
+used to wrap up dust in. He nearly starved while trying to learn to cook
+his own food, so some of the boys took him in and fed him. He tried to
+persuade the boys to stop drinking, and they good-naturedly laughed; but
+when he attempted to break up the "little game" which was the only
+amusement of the camp--the only _steady_ amusement, for fights were
+short and irregular--the camp rose in its wrath, and the young man
+hastily rose and went for his mule.
+
+But at the time of which this story treats a missionary would have fared
+even worse, for the boys where wholly absorbed by a very unrighteous,
+but still very darling, pleasure. A pair of veteran knifeists, who had
+fought each other at sight for almost ten years every time they met, had
+again found themselves in the same settlement, and Hanney's had the
+honor to be that particular settlement. "Judge" Briggs, one of the
+heroes, had many years before discussed with his neighbor, Billy Bent,
+the merits of two opposing brands of mining shovels. In the course of
+the chat they drank considerable villainous whisky, and naturally
+resorted to knives as final arguments. The matter might have ended here,
+had either gained a decided advantage over the other; but both were
+skillful--each inflicted and received so near the same number of wounds,
+that the wisest men in camp were unable to decide which whipped. Now, to
+average Californians in the mines this is a most distressing state of
+affairs; the spectators and friends of the combatants waste a great deal
+of time, liquor, and blood on the subject, while the combatants
+themselves feel unspeakably uneasy on the neutral ground between victory
+and defeat. At Sonora, where Billy and the Judge had their first
+encounter, there was no verdict, so the Judge indignantly shook the dust
+from his feet and went elsewhere. Soon Billy happened in at the same
+place, and a set-to occurred at sight, in which the average was no
+disarranged. Both men went about, for a month or two, in a patched-up
+condition, and then Billy roamed off, to be soon met by the Judge with
+the usual result. Both men were known by reputation all through the gold
+regions, and the advent of either at any "gulch," or "washin'," was the
+best advertisement the saloon-keepers could desire. In the East,
+hundreds of men would have tried to reason the men out of this feud, and
+some few would have forcibly separated them while fighting; but in the
+diggings any interference in such matters is considered impertinent, and
+deserving of punishment.
+
+[Illustration: 'THOMPSON GRACEFULLY CONCLUDED HIS SERVICE BY PASSING THE
+HAT.']
+
+Hanney's had been fairly excited for a week, for the Judge had arrived
+the week before, and his points had been carefully scrutinized and
+weighed, time and again, by every man in the camp. There seemed nothing
+unusual about him--he was of middle size, and long hair and beard, a not
+unpleasant expression, and very dirty clothes; he never jumped a claim,
+always took his whisky straight, played as fair a game of poker as the
+average of the boys, and never stole a mule from any one whiter than a
+Mexican. The boys had just about ascertained all this, and made their
+"blind" bets on the result of the next fight, when the whole camp was
+convulsed with the intelligence that Billy Bent had also arrived. Work
+immediately ceased, except in the immediate vicinity of the champions,
+and the boys stuck close to the chapel, that being the spot where the
+encounter should naturally take place. Miners thronged in from fifty
+miles around, and nothing but a special mule express saved the camp from
+the horror of Pentecost's bar being inadequate to the demand. Between
+"straight bets" and "hedging" most of the gold dust in camp had been
+"put up," for a bet is the only California backing of an opinion. As the
+men did not seem to seek each other, the boys had ample time to "grind
+things down to a pint," as the camp concisely expressed it, and the
+matter had given excuse for a dozen minor fights, when order was
+suddenly restored one afternoon by the entrance of Billy and his
+neighbors, just as the Judge and _his_ neighbors were finishing a drink.
+
+The boys immediately and silently formed a ring, on the outer edge of
+which were massed all the men who had been outside, and who came pouring
+in like flies before a shower. No one squatted or hugged the wall, for
+it was understood that these two men fought only with knives, so the
+spectators were in a state of abject safety.
+
+The Judge, after settling for the drinks, turned, and saw for the first
+time his enemy.
+
+"Hello, Billy!" said he, pleasantly; "let's take a drink first."
+
+Billy, who was a red-haired man, with a snapping-turtle mouth, but not a
+vicious-looking man for all that, briefly replied, "All right," and
+these two determined enemies clinked their glasses with the unconcern of
+mere social drinkers.
+
+But, after this, they proceeded promptly to business; the Judge, who was
+rather slow on his guard, was the owner of a badly cut arm within three
+minutes by the bar-keeper's watch, but not until he had given Billy, who
+was parrying a thrust, an ugly gash in his left temple.
+
+There was a busy hum during the adjustment of bets on "first blood," and
+the combatants very considerately refrained from doing serious injury
+during this temporary distraction; but within five minutes more they had
+exchanged chest wounds, but too slight to be dangerous.
+
+Betting became furious--each man fought so splendidly, that the boys
+were wild with delight and enthusiasm. Bets were roared back and forth,
+and when Pentecost, by virtue of his universally conceded authority,
+commanded silence, there was a great deal of finger-telegraphy across
+the circle, and head-shaking in return.
+
+Such exquisite carving had never before been seen at Hanney's--that was
+freely admitted by all. Men pitied absent miners all over the State, and
+wondered why this delightful lingering, long-drawn-out system of
+slaughter was not more popular than the brief and commonplace method of
+the revolver. The Webfoot rapturously and softly quoted the good Doctor
+Watt's:
+
+  "My willing soul would stay
+    In such a place as this,
+  And--"
+
+when suddenly his cup of bliss was clashed to the ground, for Billy,
+stumbling, fell upon his own knife, and received a severe cut in the
+abdomen.
+
+Wounds of this sort are generally fatal, and the boys had experience
+enough in such matters to know it. In an instant the men who had been
+calmly viewing a life-and-death conflict bestirred themselves to help
+the sufferer. Pentecost passed the bottle of brandy over the counter;
+half a dozen men ran to the spring for cold water; others hastily tore
+off coats, and even shirts, with which to soften a bench for the wounded
+man. No one went for the Doctor, for that worthy had been viewing the
+fight professionally from the first, and had knelt beside the wounded
+man at exactly the right moment. After a brief examination, he gave his
+opinion in the following professional style:
+
+"No go, Billy; you're done for."
+
+"Good God!" exclaimed the Judge, who had watched the Doctor with
+breathless interest; "ain't ther' no chance?"
+
+"Nary," replied the Doctor, decidedly.
+
+"I'm a ruined man--I'm a used-up cuss," said the Judge, with a look of
+bitter anguish. "I wish I'd gone under, too."
+
+"Easy, old hoss," suggested one of the boys; "_you_ didn't do him, yer
+know."
+
+"That's what's the matter!" roared the Judge, savagely; "nobody'll ever
+know which of us whipped."
+
+And the Judge sorrowfully took himself off, declining most resolutely to
+drink.
+
+Many hearts were full of sympathy for the Judge; but the poor fellow on
+the bench seemed to need most just then. He had asked for some one who
+could write, and was dictating, in whispers, a letter to some person.
+Then he drank some brandy, and then some water; then he freely acquitted
+the Judge of having ever fought any way but fairly. But still his mind
+seemed burdened. Finally, in a very thin, weak voice, he stammered out:
+
+"I don't want--to make--to make it uncomfortable--for--for any of--you
+fellers, but--is ther' a--a preacher in the camp?"
+
+The boys looked at each other inquiringly; men from every calling used
+to go to the mines, and no one would have been surprised if a
+backsliding priest, or even bishop, had stepped to the front. But none
+appeared, and the wounded man, after looking despairingly from one to
+another, gave a smothered cry.
+
+"Oh, God, hez a miserable wretch got to cut hisself open, and then
+flicker out, without anybody to say a prayer for him?"
+
+The boys looked sorrowful--if gold-dust could have bought prayers, Billy
+would have had a first-class assortment in an instant.
+
+"There's Deacon Adams over to Pattin's," suggested a bystander; "an'
+they do say he's a reg'lar rip-roarer at prayin'! But 'twould take four
+hours to go and fetch him."
+
+"Too long," said the Doctor.
+
+"Down in Mexico, at the cathedral," said another, "they pray for a
+feller after he's dead, when yer pay 'em fur it, an' they say it's jist
+the thing--sure pop. I'll give yer my word, Billy, an' no go back, that
+I'll see the job done up in style fur yer, ef that's any comfort."
+
+"I want to hear it myself," groaned the sufferer; "I don't feel right;
+can't nobody pray--nobody in the crowd?"
+
+Again the boys looked inquiringly at each other, but this time it was a
+little shyly. If he had asked for some one to go out and steal a mule,
+or kill a bear, or gallop a buck-jumping mustang to 'Frisco, they would
+have fought for the chance; but praying--praying was entirely out of
+their line.
+
+The silence became painful: soon slouched hats were hauled down over
+moist eyes, and shirt-sleeves and bare arms seemed to find something
+unusual to attend to in the boys' faces. Big Brooks commenced to blubber
+aloud, and was led out by old Thompson, who wanted a chance to get out
+of doors so he might break down in private. Finally matters were brought
+to a crisis by Mose--no one knew his other name. Mose uncovered a sandy
+head, face and beard, and remarked:
+
+"I don't want to put on airs in this here crowd, but ef nobody else ken
+say a word to the Lord about Billy Bent, I'm a-goin' to do it myself.
+It's a bizness I've never bin in, but ther's nothin' like tryin'. This
+meetin' 'll cum to order to wunst."
+
+"Hats off in church, gentlemen!" commanded Pentecost.
+
+Off came every hat, and some of the boys knelt down, as Mose knelt
+beside the bench, and said:
+
+"Oh, Lord, here's Billy Bent needs 'tendin' to! He's panned out his last
+dust, an' he seems to hev a purty clear idee that this is his last
+chance. He wants you to give him a lift, Lord, an' it's the opinion of
+this house thet he needs it. 'Tain't none of our bizness what he's done,
+an' ef it wuz, you'd know more about it than we cud tell yer; but it's
+mighty sartin that a cuss that's been in the digging fur years needs a
+sight of mendin' up before he kicks the bucket."
+
+"That's so," responded two or three, very emphatically.
+
+"Billy's down, Lord, an' no decent man b'lieves that the Lord 'ud hit a
+man when he's down, so there's one or two things got to be done--either
+he's got to be let alone, or he's got to be helped. Lettin' him alone
+won't do him or anybody else enny good, so helpin's the holt, an' as
+enny one uv us tough fellers would help ef we knew how to, it's only
+fair to suppose thet the Lord'll do it a mighty sight quicker. Now, what
+Billy needs is to see the thing in thet light, an' you ken make him do
+it a good deal better than _we_ ken. It's, mighty little fur the Lord to
+do, but it's meat an' drink an' clothes to Billy just now. When we wuz
+boys, sum uv us read some promises ef you'rn in thet Book thet wes writ
+a good spell ago by chaps in the Old Country, an' though Sunday-school
+teachers and preachers mixed the matter up in our minds, an' got us all
+tangle-footed, we know they're dar, an' you'll know what we mean. Now,
+Lord, Billy's jest the boy--he's a hard case, so you can't find no
+better stuff to work on--he's in a bad fix, thet we can't do nuthin'
+fur, so it's jest yer chance. He ain't exactly the chap to make an A
+Number One Angel ef, but he ain't the man to forget a friend, so he'll
+be a handy feller to hev aroun'."
+
+"Feel any better, Billy?" said Mose, stopping the prayer for a moment.
+
+"A little," said Billy, feebly; "but you want to tell the whole yarn.
+I'm sorry for all the wrong I've done."
+
+"He's sorry for all his deviltry, Lord--"
+
+"An' I ain't got nothin' agin the Judge," continued the sufferer.
+
+"An' he don't bear no malice agin the Judge, which he shouldn't, seein'
+he generally gin as good as he took. An' the long an' short of it, Lord,
+is jest this--he's a dyin', an' he wants a chance to die with his mind
+easy, an' nobody else can make it so, so we leave the whole job in your
+hands, only puttin' in, fur Billy's comfort, thet we recollect hearing
+how yer forgiv' a dyin' thief, an' thet it ain't likely yer a-goin' to
+be harder on a chap thet's alwas paid fur what he got. Thet's the whole
+story. Amen."
+
+Billy's hand, rapidly growing cold, reached for that of Mose, and he
+said, with considerable effort:
+
+"Mose, yer came in ez handy as a nugget in a gone-up claim. God bless
+yer, Mose. I feel better inside. Ef I get through the clouds, an' hev a
+livin' chance to say a word to them as is the chiefs dar, thet word'll
+be fur _you_, Mose. God bless yer, Mose, an' ef my blessin's no account,
+it can't cuss yer, ennyhow. This claim's washed out, fellers, an' here
+goes the last shovelful, to see ef ther's enny gold in it er not."
+
+And Billy departed this life, and the boys drank to the repose of his
+soul.
+
+
+
+
+THE NEW SHERIFF OF BUNKER COUNTY.
+
+
+He suited the natives exactly. What they would have done had he not been
+available, they shuddered to contemplate. The county was so new a one
+that but three men had occupied the sheriff's office before Charley
+Mansell was elected. Of the three, the first had not collected taxes
+with proper vigor; the second was so steadily drunk that aggrieved
+farmers had to take the law in their own hands regarding horse-thieves;
+the third was, while a terrible man on the chase or in a fight, so
+good-natured and lazy at other times, that the county came to be overrun
+with rascals. But Charley Mansell fulfilled every duty of his office
+with promptness and thoroughness. He was not very well known, to be
+sure, but neither was any one else among the four or five thousand
+inhabitants of the new county. He had arrived about a year before
+election-day, and established himself as repairer of clocks and
+watches--an occupation which was so unprofitable at Bunkerville, the
+county town, that Charley had an immense amount of leisure time at his
+disposal. He never hung about the stores or liquor-shop after dark; he
+never told doubtful stories, or displayed unusual ability with cards;
+neither did he, on the other hand, identify himself with either of the
+Bunkerville churches, and yet every one liked him. Perhaps it was
+because, although short, he was straight and plump, whereas the other
+inhabitants were thin and bent from many discouraging tussles with ague;
+perhaps it was because he was always the first to see the actual merits
+and demerits of any subject of conversation; perhaps it was because he
+was more eloquent in defense of what he believed to be right than the
+village pastors were in defense of the holy truths to which they were
+committed; perhaps it was because he argued Squire Backett out of
+foreclosing a mortgage on the Widow Worth when every one else feared to
+approach the squire on the subject; but, no matter what the reason was,
+Charley Mansell became every one's favorite, and gave no one an excuse
+to call him enemy. He took no interest in politics, but one day when a
+brutal ruffian, who had assaulted a lame native, escaped because the
+easy-going sheriff was too slow in pursuing, Charley was heard to
+exclaim, "Oh, if I were sheriff!" The man who heard him was both
+impressionable and practical. He said that Charley's face, when he made
+that remark, looked like Christ's might have looked when he was angry,
+but the hearer also remembered that the sheriff-incumbent's term of
+office had nearly expired, and he quietly gathered a few leading spirits
+of each political party, with the result that Charley was nominated and
+elected on a "fusion" ticket. When elected, Charley properly declined,
+on the ground that he could not file security bonds; but, within half an
+hour of the time the county clerk received the letter of declination, at
+least a dozen of the most solid citizens of the county waited upon the
+sheriff-elect and volunteered to go upon his bond, so Charley became
+sheriff in spite of himself.
+
+And he acquitted himself nobly. He arrested a murderer the very day
+after his sureties were accepted, and although Charley was by far the
+smaller and paler of the two, the murderer submitted tamely, and dared
+not look into Charley's eye. Instead of scolding the delinquent
+tax-payers, the new sheriff sympathized with them, and the county
+treasury filled rapidly. The self-appointed "regulators" caught a
+horse-thief a week or two after Charley's installment into office, and
+were about to quietly hang him, after the time-honored custom of Western
+regulators, when Charley dashed into the crowd, pointed his pistol at
+the head of Deacon Bent, the leader of the enraged citizens, remarked
+that _all_ sorts of murder were contrary to the law he had sworn to
+maintain, and then led the thief off to jail. The regulators were
+speechless with indignation for the space of five minutes--then they
+hurried to the jail; and when Charley Mansell, with pale face but set
+teeth, again presented his pistol, they astonished him with three
+roaring cheers, after which each man congratulated him on his courage.
+
+In short, Bunkerville became a quiet place. The new sheriff even went so
+far as to arrest the disturbers of camp-meetings; yet the village boys
+indorsed him heartily, and would, at his command, go to jail in squads
+of half a dozen with no escort but the sheriff himself. Had it not been
+that Charley occasionally went to prayer-meetings and church, not a
+rowdy at Bunkerville could have found any fault with him.
+
+But not even in an out-of-the-way, malarious Missouri village, could a
+model sheriff be for ever the topic of conversation. Civilization moved
+forward in that part of the world in very queer conveyances sometimes,
+and with considerable friction. Gamblers, murderers, horse-thieves,
+counterfeiters, and all sorts of swindlers, were numerous in lands so
+near the border, and Bunkerville was not neglected by them. Neither
+greenbacks nor national bank-notes were known at that time, and home
+productions, in the financial direction, being very unpopular, there was
+a decided preference exhibited for the notes of Eastern banks. And no
+sooner would the issues of any particular bank grow very popular in the
+neighborhood of Bunkerville than merchants began to carefully examine
+every note bearing the name of said bank, lest haply some counterfeiter
+had endeavored to assist in supplying the demand. At one particular time
+the suspicions had numerous and well-founded grounds; where they came
+from nobody knew, but the county was full of them, and full, too, of
+wretched people who held the doubtful notes. It was the usual habit of
+the Bunkerville merchants to put the occasional counterfeits which they
+received into the drawer with their good notes, and pass them when
+unconscious of the fact; but at the time referred to the bad notes were
+all on the same bank, and it was not easy work to persuade the natives
+to accept even the genuine issues. The merchants sent for the sheriff,
+and the sheriff questioned hostlers, liquor-sellers, ferry-owners,
+tollgate-keepers, and other people in the habit of receiving money; but
+the questions were to no effect. These people had all suffered, but at
+the hands of respectable citizens, and no worse by one than by another.
+
+Suddenly the sheriff seemed to get some trace of the counterfeiters. An
+old negro, who saw money so seldom that he accurately remembered the
+history of all the currency in his possession, had received a bad note
+from an emigrant in payment for some hams. A fortnight later, he sold
+some feathers to a different emigrant, and got a note which neither the
+store-keeper or liquor-seller would accept; the negro was sure the wagon
+and horses of the second emigrant were the same as those of the first.
+Then the sheriff mounted his horse and gave chase. He needed only to ask
+the natives along the road leading out of Bunkerville to show him any
+money they had received of late, to learn what route the wagon had taken
+on its second trip.
+
+About this time the natives of Bunkerville began to wonder whether the
+young sheriff was not more brave than prudent. He had started without
+associates (for he had never appointed a deputy); he might have a long
+chase, and into counties where he was unknown, and might be dangerously
+delayed. The final decision--or the only one of any consequence--was
+made by four of the "regulators," who decided to mount and hurry after
+the sheriff and volunteer their aid. By taking turns in riding ahead of
+their own party, these volunteers learned, at the end of the first day,
+that Charley could not be more than ten miles in advance. They
+determined, therefore, to push on during the night, so long as they
+could be sure they were on the right track.
+
+An hour more of riding brought them to a cabin where they received
+startling intelligence. An emigrant wagon, drawn by very good horses,
+had driven by at a trot which was a gait previously unheard of in the
+case of emigrant horses; then a young man on horseback had passed at a
+lively gallop; a few moments later a shot had been heard in the
+direction of the road the wagon had taken. Why hadn't the owner of the
+house hurried up the road to see what was the matter?--Because he minded
+his own business and staid in the house when he heard shooting, he said.
+
+"Come on, boys!" shouted Bill Braymer, giving his panting horse a touch
+with his raw-hide whip; "perhaps, the sheriff's needin' help this
+minute. An' there's generally rewards when counterfeiters are
+captured--mebbe sheriff'll give us a share."
+
+The whole quartet galloped rapidly off. It was growing dark, but there
+was no danger of losing a road which was the only one in that part of
+the country. As they approached a clearing a short distance in front of
+them, they saw a dark mass in the centre of the road, its outlines
+indicating an emigrant wagon of the usual type.
+
+"There they are!" shouted Bill Braymer; "but where's sheriff? Good Lord!
+The shot must have hit _him_!"
+
+"Reckon it did," said Pete Williamson, thrusting his head forward;
+"there's some kind of an animal hid behind that wagon, an' it don't
+enjoy bein' led along, for it's kickin' mighty lively--shouldn't wonder
+if 'twas Mansell's own pony."
+
+"Hoss-thieves too, then?" inquired Braymer; "then mebbe there'll be
+_two_ rewards!"
+
+"Yes," said Williamson's younger brother, "an' mebbe we're leavin' poor
+Charley a-dyin' along behind us in the bushes somewhere. Who'll go back
+an' help hunt for him!"
+
+The quartet unconsciously slackened speed, and the members thereof gazed
+rather sheepishly at each other through the gathering twilight. At
+length the younger Williamson abruptly turned, dismounted, and walked
+slowly backward, peering in the bushes, and examining all indications in
+the road. The other three resumed their rapid gallop, Pete Williamson
+remarking:
+
+"That boy alwus _was_ the saint of the family--look out for long shot,
+boys!--and if there's any money in this job, he's to have a fair share
+of--that _is_ sheriff's horse, sure as shootin'--he shall have half of
+what _I_ make out of it. How'll we take 'em, boys?--Bill right, Sam
+left, and me the rear? If I should get plugged, an' there's any money
+for the crowd, I'll count on you two to see that brother Jim gets my
+share--he's got more the mother in him than all four of us other
+brothers, and--why don't they shoot, do you s'pose?"
+
+"P'r'aps ther ain't nobody but the driver, an' he's got his hands full,
+makin' them hosses travel along that lively," suggested Bill Braymer.
+"Or mebbe he hain't got time to load. Like enough he's captured the
+sheriff, an' is a-takin him off. We've got to be keerful how _we_
+shoot."
+
+The men gained steadily on the wagon, and finally Bill Braymer felt sure
+enough to shout:
+
+"Halt, or we'll fire!"
+
+The only response was a sudden flash at the rear of the wagon; at the
+same instant the challenger's horse fell dead.
+
+"_Hang_ keerfulness about firin'!" exclaimed Braymer. "_I'm_ a-goin' to
+blaze away."
+
+Another shot came from the wagon, and Williamson's horse uttered a
+genuine cry of anguish and stumbled. The indignant rider hastily
+dismounted, and exclaimed:
+
+"It's mighty kind of 'em not to shoot _us_, but they know how to get
+away all the same."
+
+"They know too much about shootin' for _me_ to foller 'em any more,"
+remarked the third man, running rapidly out of the road and in the
+shadow caused by a tree.
+
+"They can't keep up that gait for ever," said Bill Braymer. "I'm goin'
+to foller 'em on foot, if it takes all night; I'll get even with em for
+that hoss they've done me out of."
+
+"I'm with you, Bill," remarked Pete Williamson, "an' mebbe we can
+snatch _their_ hosses, just to show'em how it feels."
+
+The third man lifted up his voice. "I 'llow I've had enough of this here
+kind of thing," said he, "an' I'll get back to the settlement while
+there's anything for me to get there on. I reckon you'll make a haul,
+but--I don't care--I'd rather be poor than spend a counterfeiter's
+money."
+
+And off he rode, just as the younger Williamson, with refreshed horse,
+dashed up, exclaiming:
+
+"No signs of him back yonder, but there's blood-tracks beginnin' in the
+middle of the road, an' leanin' along this way. Come on!"
+
+And away he galloped, while his brother remarked to his companion:
+
+"'Ef _he_ should have luck, an' get the reward, you be sure to tell him
+all the good things I've said about him, won't you?"
+
+Jim Williamson rode rapidly in the direction of the wagon until, finding
+himself alone, and remembering what had befallen his companions, he
+dismounted, tied his horse to a tree, and pursued rapidly on foot. He
+soon saw the wagon looming up in front of him again, and was puzzled to
+know how to reach it and learn the truth, when the wagon turned abruptly
+off the road, and apparently into the forest.
+
+Following as closely as he could under cover of the timber, he found
+that, after picking its way among the trees for a mile, it stopped
+before a small log cabin, of whose existence Jim had never known before.
+
+There were some groans plainly audible as Jim saw one man get out of the
+wagon and half carry and half drag another man into the hut. A moment
+later, and a streak of light appeared under the door of the hut, and
+there seemed to be no windows in the structure; if there were, they were
+covered.
+
+Jim remained behind a sheltering tree for what seemed two hours, and
+then stealthily approached the wagon. No one was in it. Then he removed
+his boots and stole on tiptoe to the hut. At first he could find no
+chink or crevice through which to look, but finally, on one side of the
+log chimney, he spied a ray of light. Approaching the hole and applying
+his eye to it, Jim beheld a picture that startled him into utter
+dumbness.
+
+On the floor of the hut, which was entirely bare, lay a middle-aged man,
+with one arm bandaged and bleeding. Seated on the floor, holding the
+head of the wounded man, and raining kisses upon it, sat Bunker County's
+sheriff!
+
+Then Jim heard some conversation which did not in the least allay his
+astonishment.
+
+"Don't cry, daughter," said the wounded man, faintly, "I deserve to be
+shot by you--I haven't wronged any one else half so much as I have you."
+
+Again the wounded man received a shower of kisses, and hot tears fell
+rapidly upon his face.
+
+"Arrest me--take me back--send me to State's prison," continued the man;
+"nobody has so good a right. Then I'll feel as if your mother was
+honestly avenged. I'll feel better if you'll promise to do it."
+
+"Father, dear," said the sheriff, "I might have suspected it was
+you--oh! if I _had_ have done! But I thought--I hoped I had got away
+from the roach of the cursed business for ever. I've endured
+everything--I've nearly died of loneliness, to avoid it, and then to
+think that I should have hurt my own father."
+
+"You're your mother's own daughter, Nellie," said the counterfeiter; "it
+takes all the pain away to know that I haven't ruined _you_--that _some_
+member of my wretched family is honest. I'd be happy in a prisoner's box
+if I could look at you and feel that you put me there."
+
+"You sha'n't be made happy in that way," said the sheriff. I've got you
+again, and I'm going to keep you to myself. I'll nurse you here--you say
+that nobody ever found this hut but--but the gang, and when you're
+better the wagon shall take us both to some place where we can live or
+starve together. The county can get another sheriff easy enough."
+
+"And they'll suspect you of being in league with counterfeiters," said
+the father.
+
+"They may suspect me of anything they like!" exclaimed the sheriff, "so
+you love me and be--be your own best self and my good father. But this
+bare hut--not a comfort that you need--no food--nothing--oh, if there
+was only some one who had a heart, and could help us!"
+
+"_There is_!" whispered Jim Williamson, with all his might. Both
+occupants started, and the wounded man's eyes glared like a wolf's.
+
+"Don't be frightened," whispered Jim; "I'm yours, body and soul--the
+devil himself would be, if he'd been standin' at this hole the last five
+minutes. I'm Jim Williamson. Let me help you miss--sheriff."
+
+The sheriff blew out the light, opened the door, called softly to Jim,
+led him into the hut, closed the door, relighted the candle
+and--blushed. Jim looked at the sheriff out of the top of his eyes, and
+then blushed himself--then he looked at the wounded man. There was for a
+moment an awkward silence, which Jim broke by clearing his throat
+violently, after which he said:
+
+"Now, both of you make your minds easy. Nobody'll never find you
+here--I've hunted through all these woods, but never saw _this_ cabin
+before. Arm broke?"
+
+"No," said the counterfeiter, "but--but it runs in the family to shoot
+ugly."
+
+Again the sheriff kissed the man repeatedly.
+
+"Then you can move in two or three days," said Jim, "if you're taken
+care of rightly. Nobody'll suspect anything wrong about the sheriff, ef
+he don't turn up again right away. I'll go back to town, throw everybody
+off the track, and bring out a few things to make you comfortable."
+
+Jim looked at the sheriff again, blushed again, and started for the
+door. The wounded man sprang to his feet, and hoarsely whispered:
+
+"Swear--ask God to send you to hell if you play false--swear by
+everything you love and respect and hope for, that you won't let my
+daughter be disgraced because she happened to have a rascal for her
+father!"
+
+Jim hesitated for a moment; then he seized the sheriff's hand.
+
+"I ain't used to swearin' except on somethin' I can see," said he, "an'
+the bizness is only done in one way," with this he kissed the little
+hand in his own, and dashed out of the cabin with a very red face.
+
+Within ten minutes Jim met his brother and Braymer.
+
+"No use, boys," said he, "might as well go back, There ain't no fears
+but what the sheriff'll be smart enough to do 'em yet, if he's alive,
+an' if he's dead we can't help _him_ any."
+
+"If he's dead," remarked Bill Braymer, "an' there's any pay due him, I
+hope part of it'll come for these horses. Mine's dead, an' Pete's might
+as well be."
+
+"Well," said Jim, "I'll go on to town. I want to be out early in the
+mornin' an' see ef I can't get a deer, an' it's time I was in bed." And
+Jim galloped off.
+
+The horse and man which might have been seen threading the woods at
+early daybreak on the following morning, might have set for a picture of
+one of Sherman's bummers. For a month afterward Jim's mother bemoaned
+the unaccountable absence of a tin pail, a meal-bag, two or three
+blankets, her only pair of scissors, and sundry other useful articles,
+while her sorrow was increased by the fact that she had to replenish her
+household stores sooner than she had expected.
+
+The sheriff examined so eagerly the articles which Jim deposited in
+rapid succession on the cabin-floor, that Jim had nothing to do but look
+at the sheriff, which he did industriously, though not exactly to his
+heart's content. At last the sheriff looked up, and Jim saw two eyes
+full of tears, and a pair of lips which parted and trembled in a manner
+very unbecoming in a sheriff.
+
+"Don't, please," said Jim, appealingly. "I wish I could have done
+better for _you_, but somehow I couldn't think of nothin' in the house
+that was fit for a woman, except the scissors."
+
+"Don't think about me at all," said the sheriff, quickly.
+
+"I care for nothing for myself. Forget that I'm alive."
+
+"I--I can't," stammered Jim, looking as guilty as forty counterfeiters
+rolled into one. The sheriff turned away quickly, while the father
+called Jim to his side.
+
+"Young man," said he, "you've been as good as an angel could have been,
+but if you suspect _her_ a minute of being my accomplice, may heaven
+blast you! I taught her engraving, villain that I was, but when she
+found out what the work really was, I thought she'd have died. She
+begged and begged that I'd give the business up, and I promised and
+promised, but it isn't easy to get out of a crowd of your own kind,
+particularly when you're not so much of a man as you should be. At last
+she got sick of waiting, and ran away--then I grew desperate and worse
+than ever. I've been searching everywhere for her; you don't suppose a
+smart--smart counterfeiter has to get rid of his money in the way I've
+been doing, do you? I traced her to this part of the State, and I've
+been going over the roads again and again trying to find her; but I
+never saw her until she put this hole through my arm last night."
+
+"I hadn't any idea who you were," interrupted the sheriff, with a face
+so full of mingled indignation, pain and tenderness, that Jim couldn't
+for the life of him take his eyes from it.
+
+"Don't let any one suspect her, young man," continued the father. "I'll
+stay within reach--deliver me up, if it should be necessary to clear
+_her_."
+
+"Trust to me," said Jim. "I know a man when I see him, even if he _is_ a
+woman."
+
+Two days later the sheriff rode into town, leading behind him the
+counterfeiter's horses, with the wagon and its contents, with thousands
+of dollars in counterfeit money. The counterfeiter had escaped, he
+said, and he had wounded him.
+
+Bunkerville ran wild with enthusiasm, and when the sheriff insisted upon
+paying out of his own pocket the value of Braymer's and Williamson's
+horses, men of all parties agreed that Charley Mansell should be run for
+Congress on an independent ticket.
+
+But the sheriff declined the honor, and, declaring that he had heard of
+the serious illness of his father, insisted upon resigning and leaving
+the country. Like an affectionate son, he purchased some dress-goods,
+which he said might please his mother, and then he departed, leaving the
+whole town in sorrow.
+
+There was one man at Bunkerville who did not suffer so severely as he
+might have done by the sheriff's departure, had not his mind been full
+of strange thoughts. Pete Williamson began to regard his brother with
+suspicion, and there seemed some ground for his feeling. Jim was
+unnaturally quiet and abstracted; he had been a great deal with the
+sheriff before that official's departure, and yet did not seem to be on
+as free and pleasant terms with him as before. So Pete slowly gathered a
+conviction that the sheriff was on the track of a large reward from the
+bank injured by the counterfeiter; that Jim was to have a share for his
+services on the eventful night; that there was some disagreement between
+them on the subject, and that Jim was trying the unbrotherly trick of
+keeping his luck a secret from the brother who had resolved to
+fraternally share anything he might have obtained by the chase. Finally,
+when Pete charged his brother with the unkindness alluded to, and Jim
+looked dreadfully confused, Pete's suspicions were fully confirmed.
+
+The next morning Jim and his horse were absent, ascertaining which fact,
+the irate Peter started in pursuit. For several days he traced his
+brother, and finally learned that he was at a hotel on the Iowa border.
+The landlord said that he couldn't be seen; he, and a handsome young
+fellow, with a big trunk, and a tall, thin man, and ex-Judge Bates,
+were busy together, and had left word they weren't to be disturbed for a
+couple of hours on any account. Could Pete hang about the door of the
+room, so as to see him as soon as possible?--he was his brother. Well,
+yes; the landlord thought there wouldn't be any harm in that.
+
+The unscrupulous Peter put his eye to the keyhole; he saw the sheriff
+daintily dressed, and as pretty a lady as ever was, in spite of her
+short hair; he heard the judge say:
+
+"By virtue of the authority in me vested by the State of Iowa, I
+pronounce you man and wife;" and then, with vacant countenance, he
+sneaked slowly away, murmuring:
+
+"_That's_ the sort of reward he got, is it? And," continued Pete, after
+a moment, which was apparently one of special inspiration, "I'll bet
+that's the kind of _deer_ he said he was goin' fur on the morning after
+the chase."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+MAJOR MARTT'S FRIEND.
+
+
+East Patten was one of the quietest places in the world. The
+indisposition of a family horse or cow was cause for animated general
+conversation, and the displaying of a new poster or prospectus on the
+post-office door was the signal for a spirited gathering of citizens.
+
+Why, therefore, Major Martt had spent the whole of three successive
+leaves-of-absence at East Patten, where he hadn't a relative, and where
+no other soldier lived, no one could imagine. Even professional
+newsmakers never assigned any reason for it, for although their vigorous
+and experienced imaginations were fully capable of forming some
+plausible theory on the subject of the major's fondness for East Patten,
+they shrank from making public the results of any such labors.
+
+It was perfectly safe to circulate some purely original story about any
+ordinary citizen, but there was no knowing how a military man might
+treat such a matter when it reached his ears, as it was morally sure to
+do.
+
+Live military men had not been seen in East Patten since the
+Revolutionary War, three-quarters of a century before the villagers
+first saw Major Martt; and such soldiers as had been revealed to East
+Patten through the medium of print were as dangerously touchy as the
+hair-triggers of their favorite weapons.
+
+So East Patten let the major's private affairs alone, and was really
+glad to see the major in person. There was a scarcity of men at East
+Patten--of interesting men, at least, for the undoubted sanctity of
+the old men lent no special graces to their features or manners; while
+the young men were merely the residuum of an active emigration which had
+for some years been setting westward from East Patten.
+
+[Illustration: EAST PATTEN WAS ONE OF THE QUIETEST PLACES IN THE WORLD.]
+
+When, therefore, the tall, straight, broad-shouldered, clear-eyed,
+much-whiskered major appeared on the street, looking (as he always did)
+as if he had just been shaved, brushed and polished, the sight was an
+extremely pleasing one, except to certain young men who feared for the
+validity of their titles to their respective sweethearts should the
+major chance to be affectionate.
+
+But the major gave no cause for complaint. When he first came to the
+village he bought Rose Cottage, opposite the splendid Wittleday
+property, and he spent most of his time (his leave-of-absence always
+occurring in the Summer season) in his garden, trimming his shrubs,
+nursing his flowering-plants, growing magnificent roses, and in all ways
+acting utterly unlike a man of blood. Occasionally he played a game of
+chess with Parson Fisher, the jolly ex-clergyman, or smoked a pipe with
+the sadler-postmaster; he attended all the East Patten tea-parties, too,
+but he made himself so uniformly agreeable to all the ladies that the
+mothers in Israel agreed with many sighs, that the major was not a
+marrying man.
+
+It may easily be imagined, then, that when one Summer the major
+reappeared at East Patten with a brother officer who was young and
+reasonably good-looking, the major's popularity did not diminish.
+
+The young man was introduced as Lieutenant Doyson, who had once saved
+the major's life by a lucky shot, as that chieftain, with empty pistols,
+was trying to escape from a well-mounted Indian; and all the young
+ladies in town declared they _knew_ the lieutenant _must_ have done
+something wonderful, he was _so_ splendid.
+
+But, with that fickleness which seems in some way communicable from
+wicked cities to virtuous villages, East Patten suddenly ceased to
+exhibit unusual interest in the pair of warriors, for a new excitement
+had convulsed the village mind to its very centre.
+
+It was whispered that Mrs. Wittleday, the sole and widowed owner of the
+great Wittleday property, had wearied of the mourning she wore for the
+husband she had buried two years previously, and that she would soon
+publicly announce the fact by laying aside her weeds and giving a great
+entertainment, to which every one was to be invited.
+
+There was considerable high-toned deprecation of so early a cessation of
+Mrs. Wittleday's sorrowing, she being still young and handsome, and
+there was some fault found on the economic ground that the widow
+couldn't yet have half worn out her mourning-garments; but as to the
+propriety of her giving an entertainment, the voices of East Patten were
+as one in the affirmative.
+
+Such of the villagers as had chanced to sit at meat with the late Scott
+Wittleday, had reported that dishes with unremembered foreign names were
+as plenty as were the plainer viands on the tables of the old
+inhabitants; such East Pattenites as had not been entertained at the
+Wittleday board rejoiced in a prospect of believing by sight as well as
+by faith.
+
+The report proved to have unusually good foundation. Within a fortnight
+each respectable householder received a note intimating that Mrs.
+Wittleday would be pleased to see self and family on the evening of the
+following Thursday.
+
+The time was short, and the resources of the single store at East Patten
+were limited, but the natives did their best, and the eventful evening
+brought to Mrs. Wittleday's handsome parlors a few gentlemen and ladies,
+and a large number of good people, who, with all the heroism of a
+forlorn hope, were doing their best to appear at ease and happy.
+
+The major and lieutenant were there, of course, and both in uniform, by
+special request of the hostess. The major, who had met Mrs. Wittleday in
+city society before her husband's death, and who had maintained a
+bowing-acquaintance with her during her widowhood, gravely presented the
+lieutenant to Mrs. Wittleday, made a gallant speech about the debt
+society owed to her for again condescending to smile upon it, and then
+presented his respects to the nearest of the several groups of ladies
+who were gazing invitingly at him.
+
+Then he summoned the lieutenant (whose reluctance to leave Mrs.
+Wittleday's side was rendered no less by a bright smile which that lady
+gave him as he departed), and made him acquainted with ladies of all
+ages, and of greatly varying personal appearance. The young warrior went
+through the ordeal with only tolerable composure, and improved his first
+opportunity to escape and regain the society of the hostess. Two or
+three moments later, just as Mrs. Wittleday turned aside to speak to
+stately old Judge Bray, the lieutenant found himself being led rapidly
+toward the veranda. The company had not yet found its way out of the
+parlors to any extent, so the major locked the lieutenant's arm in his
+own, commenced a gentle promenade, and remarked:
+
+"Fred, my boy, you're making an ass of yourself."
+
+"Oh, nonsense, major," answered the young man, with considerable
+impatience. "I don't want to know all these queer, old-fashioned people;
+they're worse than a lot of plebes at West Point."
+
+"I don't mean that, Fred, though, if you don't want to make talk, you
+must make yourself agreeable. But you're too attentive to Mrs.
+Wittleday."
+
+"By George," responded the lieutenant, eagerly, "how can I help it?
+She's divine!"
+
+"A great many others think so, too, Fred--I do myself--but they don't
+make it so plagued evident on short acquaintance. Behave yourself,
+now--your eyesight is good--sit down and play the agreeable to some old
+lady, and look at Mrs. Wittleday across the room, as often as you like."
+
+The lieutenant was young; his face was not under good control, and he
+had no whiskers, and very little mustache to hide it, so, although he
+obeyed the order of his superior, it was with a visage so mournful that
+the major imagined, when once or twice he caught Mrs. Wittleday's eye,
+that that handsome lady was suffering from restrained laughter.
+
+Humorous as the affair had seemed to the major before, he could not
+endure to have his preserver's sorrow the cause of merriment in any one
+else; so, deputing Parson Fisher to make their excuse to the hostess
+when it became possible to penetrate the crowd which had slowly
+surrounded her, the major took his friend's arm and returned to the
+cottage.
+
+"Major!" exclaimed the subaltern, "I--I half wish I'd let that Indian
+catch you; then you wouldn't have spoiled the pleasantest evening I ever
+had--ever _began_ to have, I should say."
+
+"You wouldn't have had an evening at East Patten then, Fred," said the
+major, with a laugh, as he passed the cigars, and lit one himself.
+"Seriously, my boy, you must be more careful. You came here to spend a
+pleasant three months with me, and the first time you're in society you
+act, to a lady you never saw before, too, in such a way, that if it had
+been any one but a lady of experience, she would have imagined you in
+love with her."
+
+"I _am_ in love with her," declared the young man, with a look which was
+intended to be defiant, but which was noticeably shamedfaced. "I'm going
+to tell her so, too--that is, I'm going to write her about it."
+
+"Steady, Fred--steady!" urged the major, kindly. "She'd be more provoked
+than pleased. Don't you suppose fifty men have worshiped her at first
+sight? They have, and she knows it, too--but it hasn't troubled her mind
+at all: handsome women know they turn men's heads in that way, and they
+generally respect the men who are sensible enough to hold their tongues
+about it, at least until there's acquaintance enough between them to
+justify a little confidence."
+
+"Major," said poor Fred, very meekly, almost piteously, "don't--don't
+you suppose I _could_ make her care something for me?"
+
+The major looked thoughtfully, and then tenderly, at the cigar he held
+between his fingers. Finally he said, very gently:
+
+"My dear boy, perhaps you could. Would it be fair, though? Love in
+earnest means marriage. Would you torment a poor woman, who's lost one
+husband, into wondering three-quarters of the time whether the scalp of
+another isn't in the hands of some villainous Apache?"
+
+The unhappy lieutenant hid his face in heavy clouds of tobacco smoke.
+
+"Well," said he, springing to his feet, and pacing the floor like a
+caged animal, "I'll tell you what I'll do; I'll write her, and throw my
+heart at her feet. Of course she won't care. It's just as you say. Why
+should she? But I'll do it, and then I'll go back to the regiment. I
+hate to spoil _your_ fun, major, if it's any fun to you to have such a
+fool in your quarters; but the fact is, the enemy's too much for me. I
+wouldn't feel worse if I was facing a division. I'll write her to
+morrow. I'd rather be refused by her than loved by any other woman."
+
+"Put it off a fortnight, Fred," suggested the major; "it's the polite
+thing to call within a week after this party; you'll have a chance then
+to become better acquainted with her. She's delightful company, I'm
+told. Perhaps you'll make up your mind it's better to enjoy her society,
+during our leave, than to throw away everything in a forlorn hope. Wait
+a fortnight, that's a sensible youth."
+
+"I can't, major!" cried the excited boy. "Hang it! you're an old
+soldier--don't you know how infernally uncomfortable it is to stand
+still and be shot at?"
+
+"I _do_, my boy," said the major, with considerable emphasis, and a
+far-away look at nothing in particular.
+
+"Well, that'll be my fix as long as I stay here and keep quiet," replied
+the lieutenant.
+
+"Wait a week, then," persisted the major. "You don't want to be 'guilty
+of conduct unbecoming an officer and a gentleman,' eh? Don't spoil her
+first remembrances of the first freedom she's known for a couple of
+years."
+
+"Well, call it a week, then," moodily replied the love-sick brave,
+lighting a candle, and moving toward his room. "I suppose it will take
+me a week, anyway, to make up a letter fit to send to such an angel."
+
+The major sighed, put on an easy coat and slippers, and stepped into his
+garden.
+
+"Poor Fred!" he muttered to himself, as he paced the walk in front of
+the piazza; "can't wait a fortnight, eh? Wonder what he would say if he
+knew I'd been waiting for seven or eight years--if he knew I fell in
+love with her as easily as he did, and that I've never recovered myself?
+Wonder what he'd do if some one were to marry her almost before his very
+eyes, as poor Wittleday did while I was longing for her acquaintance?
+Wonder what sort of fool he'd call me if he knew that I came to East
+Patten, time after time, just for a chance of looking at her--that I
+bought Rose Cottage merely to be near her--that I'd kept it all to
+myself, and for a couple of years had felt younger at the thought that I
+might, perchance, win her after all? Poor Fred! And yet, why shouldn't
+she marry him?--women have done stranger things; and he's a great deal
+more attractive-looking than an old campaigner like myself. Well, God
+bless 'em both, and have mercy on an old coward!"
+
+The major looked toward the Wittleday mansion. The door was open; the
+last guests were evidently departing, and their beautiful entertainer
+was standing in the doorway, a flood of light throwing into perfect
+relief her graceful and tastefully dressed figure. She said something
+laughingly to the departing guests; it seemed exquisite music to the
+major. Then the door closed, and the major, with a groan, retired within
+his own door, and sorrowfully consumed many cigars.
+
+The week that followed was a very dismal one to the major. He petted his
+garden as usual, and whistled softly to himself, as was his constant
+habit, but he insanely pinched the buds off the flowering plants, and
+his whistling--sometimes plaintive, sometimes hopeless, sometimes
+wrathful, sometimes vindictive in expression--was restricted to the
+execution of dead-marches alone. He jeopardized his queen so often at
+chess that Parson Fisher deemed it only honorable to call the major's
+attention to his misplays, and to allow him to correct them.
+
+The saddler post-master noticed that the major--usually a most
+accomplished smoker--now consumed a great many matches in relighting
+each pipe that he filled. Only once during the week did he chance to
+meet Mrs. Wittleday, and then the look which accompanied his bow and
+raised hat was so solemn, that his fair neighbor was unusually sober
+herself for a few moments, while she wondered whether she could in any
+way have given the major offense.
+
+As for the lieutenant, he sat at the major's desk for many sorrowful
+hours each day, the general result being a large number of closely
+written and finely torn scraps in the waste-basket. Then coatless,
+collarless, with open vest and hair disarranged in the manner
+traditional among love-sick youths, he would pour mournful airs from a
+flute.
+
+The major complained--rather frequently for a man who had spent years on
+the Plains--of drafts from the front windows, which windows he finally
+kept closed most of the time, thus saving Mrs. Wittleday the annoyance
+which would certainly have resulted from the noise made by the earnest
+but unskilled amateur.
+
+For the major himself, however, neither windows nor doors could afford
+relief; and when, one day, the sergeant accidentally overturned a heavy
+table, which fell upon the flute and crushed it, the major enjoyed the
+only happy moments that were his during the week.
+
+The week drew very near its close. The major had, with a heavy but
+desperate heart, told stories, sung songs, brought up tactical points
+for discussion--he even waxed enthusiastic in favor of a run through
+Europe, he, of course, to bear all the expenses; but the subaltern
+remained faithful and obdurate.
+
+Finally, the morning of the last day arrived, and the lieutenant, to the
+major's surprise and delight, appeared at the table with a very resigned
+air.
+
+"Major," said he, "I wouldn't mention it under any other circumstances,
+but--I saved your life once?"
+
+"You did, my boy. God bless you!" responded the major, promptly.
+
+"Well, now I want to ask a favor on the strength of that act. I'll never
+ask another. It's no use for me to try to write to her--the harder I try
+the more contemptible my words appear. Now, what I ask, is this: _you_
+write me a rough draft of what's fit to send to such an incomparable
+being, and I'll copy it and send it over. I don't expect any answer--all
+I want to do is to throw myself away on her, but I want to do it
+handsomely, and--hang it, I don't know how. Write just as if you were
+doing it for yourself. Will you do it?"
+
+The major tried to wash his heart out of his throat with a sip of
+coffee, and succeeded but partially; yet the appealing look of his
+favorite, added to the unconscious pathos of his tone, restored to him
+his self-command, and he replied:
+
+"I'll do it, Fred, right away."
+
+"Don't spoil your breakfast for it; any time this morning will do," said
+the lieutenant, as the major arose from the table. But the veteran
+needed an excuse for leaving his breakfast untouched, and he rather
+abruptly stepped upon, the piazza and indulged in a thoughtful
+promenade.
+
+"Write just as if you were doing it for yourself."
+
+The young man's words rang constantly in his ears, and before the major
+had thought many moments, he determined to do exactly what he was asked
+to do.
+
+This silly performance of the lieutenant's would, of course, put an end
+to the acquaintanceship of the major and Mrs. Wittleday, unless that
+lady were most unusually gracious. Why should he not say to her, over
+the subaltern's name, all that he had for years been hoping for an
+opportunity to say? No matter that she would not imagine who was the
+real author of the letter--it would still be an unspeakable comfort to
+write the words and know that her eyes would read them--that her heart
+would perhaps--probably, in fact--pity the writer.
+
+The major seated himself, wrote, erased, interlined, rewrote, and
+finally handed to the lieutenant a sheet of letter-paper, of which
+nearly a page was covered with the major's very characteristic
+chirography.
+
+"By gracious, major!" exclaimed the lieutenant, his face having
+lightened perceptibly during the perusal of the letter, "that's
+magnificent! I declare, it puts hope into me; and yet, confound it, it's
+plaguy like marching under some one else's colors."
+
+"Never mind, my boy, copy it, sign it, and send it over, and don't hope
+too much."
+
+The romantic young brave copied the letter carefully, line for line; he
+spoilt several envelopes in addressing one to suit him, and then
+dispatched the missive by the major's servant, laying the rough draft
+away for future (and probably sorrowful) perusal.
+
+The morning hours lagged dreadfully. Both warriors smoked innumerable
+cigars, but only to find fault with the flavor thereof.
+
+The lieutenant tried to keep his heart up by relating two or three
+stories, at the points of each of which the major forced a boisterous
+laugh, but the mirth upon both sides was visibly hollow. Dinner was set
+at noon, the usual military dinner-hour, but little was consumed, except
+a bottle of claret, which the major, who seldom drank, seemed to
+consider it advisable to produce.
+
+The after-dinner cigar lasted only until one o'clock; newspapers by the
+noon-day mail occupied their time for but a scant hour more, and an
+attempted game of cribbage speedily dropped by unspoken but mutual
+consent.
+
+Suddenly the garden gate creaked. The lieutenant sprang to his feet,
+looked out of the window, and exclaimed:
+
+"It's her darkey--he's got an answer--oh, major!"
+
+"Steady, boy, steady!" said the major, arising hastily and laying his
+hand on the young man's shoulder, as that excited person was hastening
+to the door. "'Officer and gentleman,' you know. Let Sam open the door."
+
+The bell rang, the door was opened, a word or two passed between the two
+servants, and Mrs. Wittleday's coachman appeared in the dining-room,
+holding the letter. The lieutenant eagerly reached for it, but the sable
+carrier grinned politely, said:
+
+"It's for de major, sar--wuz told to give it right into his han's, and
+nobody else," fulfilled his instructions, and departed with many bows
+and smiles, while the two soldiers dropped into their respective chairs.
+
+"Hurry up, major--do, please," whispered the lieutenant. But the veteran
+seemed an interminably long time in opening the dainty envelope in his
+hand. Official communications he opened with a dexterity suggesting
+sleight-of-hand, but now he took a penknife from his pocket, opened its
+smallest, brightest blade, and carefully cut Mrs. Wittleday's envelope.
+As he opened the letter his lower jaw fell, and his eyes opened wide. He
+read the letter through, and re-read it, his countenance indicating
+considerable satisfaction, which presently was lost in an expression of
+puzzled wonder.
+
+"Fred," said he to the miserable lieutenant, who started to his feet as
+a prisoner expecting a severe sentence might do, "what in creation did
+you write Mrs. Wittleday?"
+
+"Just what you gave me to write," replied the young man, evidently
+astonished.
+
+"Let me see my draft of it," said the major.
+
+The lieutenant opened a drawer in the major's desk, took out a sheet of
+paper, looked at it, and cried:
+
+"I sent her your draft! _This_ is my letter!"
+
+"And she imagined _I_ wrote it, and has accepted _me_!" gasped the
+major.
+
+The wretched Frederick turned pale, and tottered toward a chair. The
+major went over to him and spoke to him sympathizingly, but despite his
+genial sorrow for the poor boy, the major's heart was so full that he
+did not dare to show his face for a moment; so he stood behind the
+lieutenant, and looked across his own shoulder out of the window.
+
+"Oh, major," exclaimed Fred, "isn't it possible that you're mistaken?"
+
+"Here's her letter, my boy," said the major; "judge for yourself."
+
+The young man took the letter in a mechanical sort of way, and read as
+follows:
+
+"_July_ 23d, 185--.
+
+"DEAR MAJOR--I duly received your note of this morning, and you may
+thank womanly curiosity for my knowing from whom the missive (which you
+omitted to sign) came. I was accidentally looking out of my window, and
+recognized the messenger.
+
+"I have made it an inflexible rule to laugh at declarations of 'love at
+first sight,' but when I remembered how long ago it was when first we
+met, the steadfastness of your regard, proved to me by a new fancy
+(which I pray you not to crush) that your astonishing fondness for East
+Patten was partly on my account, forbade my indulging in any lighter
+sentiment than that of honest gratitude.
+
+"You may call this evening for your answer, which I suppose you, with
+the ready conceit of your sex and profession, will have already
+anticipated.
+
+"Yours, very truly, HELEN WITTLEDAY."
+
+The lieutenant groaned.
+
+"It's all up, major! you'll _have_ to marry her. 'Twould be awfully
+ungentlemanly to let her know there was any mistake."
+
+"Do you think so, Fred?" asked the major, with a perceptible twitch at
+the corners of his mouth.
+
+"Certainly, I do," replied the sorrowful lover; "and I'm sure you can
+learn to love her; she is simply an angel--a goddess. Confound it! you
+can't help loving her."
+
+"You really believe so, do you, my boy?" asked the major, with fatherly
+gravity. "But how would _you_ feel about it?"
+
+"As if no one else on earth was good enough for her--as if she was the
+luckiest woman alive," quickly answered the young man, with a great deal
+of his natural spirit. "'Twould heal _my_ wound entirely."
+
+"Very well, my boy," said the major; "I'll put you out of your misery as
+soon as possible."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Never had the major known an evening whose twilight was of such
+interminable duration. When, however, the darkness was sufficient to
+conceal his face, he walked quickly across the street, and to the door
+of the Wittleday mansion.
+
+That his answer was what he supposed it would be is evinced by the fact
+that, a few months later, his resignation was accepted by the
+Department, and Mrs. Wittleday became Mrs. Martt.
+
+In so strategic a manner that she never suspected the truth, the major
+told his _fiancee_ the story of the lieutenant's unfortunate love, and
+so great was the fair widow's sympathy, that she set herself the task of
+seeing the young man happily engaged. This done, she offered him the
+position of engineer of some mining work on her husband's estate, and
+the major promised him Rose Cottage for a permanent residence as soon as
+he would find a mistress for it.
+
+Naturally, the young man succombed to the influences exerted against
+him, and, after Mr. and Mrs. Doyson were fairly settled, the major told
+his own wife, to her intense amusement, the history of the letter which
+induced her to change her name.
+
+
+
+
+BUFFLE.
+
+
+How he came by his name, no one could tell. In the early days of the
+gold fever there came to California a great many men who did not
+volunteer their names, and as those about them had been equally reticent
+on their own advent, they asked few questions of newcomers.
+
+The hotels of the mining regions never kept registers for the
+accommodation of guests--they were considered well-appointed hotels if
+they kept water-tight roofs and well-stocked bars.
+
+Newcomers were usually designated at first by some peculiarity of
+physiognomy or dress, and were known by such names as "Broken Nose,"
+"Pink Shirt," "Cross Bars," "Gone Ears," etc.; if, afterward, any man
+developed some peculiarity of character, an observing and original miner
+would coin and apply a new name, which would afterward be accepted as
+irrevocably as a name conferred by the holy rite of baptism.
+
+No one wondered that Buffle never divulged his real name, or talked of
+his past life; for in the mines he had such an unhappy faculty of
+winning at cards, getting new horses without visible bills of sale,
+taking drinks beyond ordinary power of computation, stabbing and
+shooting, that it was only reasonable to suppose that he had acquired
+these abilities at the sacrifice of the peace of some other community.
+
+He was not vicious--even a strict theologian could hardly have accused
+him of malice; yet, wherever he went, he was promptly acknowledged
+chief of that peculiar class which renders law and sheriffs necessary
+evils.
+
+He was not exactly a beauty--miners seldom were--yet a connoisseur in
+manliness could have justly wished there were a dash of the Buffle blood
+in the well-regulated veins of many irreproachable characters in quieter
+neighborhoods than Fat Pocket Gulch, where the scene of this story was
+located.
+
+He was tall, active, prompt and generous, and only those who have these
+qualities superadded to their own virtues are worthy to throw stones at
+his memory.
+
+He was brave, too. His bravery had been frequently recorded in lead in
+the mining regions, and such records were transmitted from place to
+place with an alacrity which put official zeal to the deepest blush.
+
+At the fashionable hour of two o'clock at night, Mr. Buffle was
+entertaining some friends at his residence; or, to use the language of
+the mines, "there was a game up to Buffle's." In a shanty of the
+composite order of architecture--it having a foundation of stone,
+succeeded by logs, a gable of coffin misfits and cracker-boxes, and a
+roof of bark and canvas--Buffle and three other miners were playing "old
+sledge."
+
+The table was an empty pork-barrel; the seats were respectively, a block
+of wood, a stone, and a raisin-box, with a well-stuffed knapsack for the
+tallest man.
+
+On one side of the shanty was a low platform of hewn logs, which
+constituted the proprietor's couch when he slept; on another was the
+door, on the third were confusedly piled Buffle's culinary utensils, and
+on the fourth was a fireplace, whose defective draft had been the agent
+of the fine frescoing of soot perceptible on the ceiling. A single
+candle hung on a wire over the barrel, and afforded light auxiliary to
+that thrown out by the fireplace.
+
+The game had been going largely in Buffle's favor, as was usually the
+case, when one of the opposition injudiciously played an ace which was
+clearly from another pack of cards, inasmuch as Buffle, who had
+dealt, had the rightful ace in his own hand. As it was the ace of
+trumps, Buffle's indignation arose, and so did his person and pistol.
+
+[Illustration: "COME IN," ROARED BUFFLES'S PARTNER. "COME IN, HANG YER,
+IF YER LIFE'S INSURED!' THE DOOR OPENED SLOWLY, AND A WOMAN ENTERED.]
+
+"Hang yer," said he, savagely; "yer don't come that game on me. I've got
+that ace myself."
+
+An ordinary man would have drawn pistol also, but Buffle's antagonist
+knew his only safety lay in keeping quiet, so he only stared vacantly at
+the muzzle of the revolver, that was so precisely aimed at his own head.
+
+The two other players had risen to their feet, and were mentally
+composing epitaphs for the victim, when there was heard a decided knock
+on the door.
+
+"Come in!" roared Buffle's partner, who was naturally the least excited
+of the four. "Come in, hang yer, if yer life's insured."
+
+The door opened slowly, and a woman entered.
+
+Now, while there were but few women in the camp, the sight of a single
+woman was not at all unusual. Yet, as she raised her vail, Buffle's
+revolver fell from his hands, and the other players laid down their
+cards; the partner of the guilty man being so overcome as to lay down
+his hand face upward.
+
+Then they all stared, but not one of them spoke; they wanted to, but
+none knew how to do it. It was not usually difficult for any of them to
+address such specimens of the gentler sex as found their way to Fat
+Pocket Gulch, but they all understood at once that this was a different
+sort of woman. They looked reprovingly and beseechingly at each other,
+but the woman, at last, broke the silence by saying:
+
+"I am sorry to disturb you, gentlemen, but I was told I could probably
+find Mr. Buffle here."
+
+"Here he is, ma'am, and yours truly," said Buffle, removing his hat.
+
+He could afford to. She was not beautiful, but she seemed to be in
+trouble, and a troubled woman can command, to the death, even worse men
+than free-and-easy miners. She had a refined, pure face, out of which
+two great brown eyes looked so tenderly and anxiously, that these men
+forgot themselves at once. She seemed young, not more than twenty-three
+or four; she was slightly built, and dressed in a suit of plain black.
+
+"Mr. Buffle," said she, "I was going through by stage to San Francisco,
+when I overheard the driver say to a man seated by him that you knew
+more miners than any man in California--that you had been through the
+whole mining country."
+
+"Well, mum," said Buffle, with a delighted but sheepish look, which
+would have become a missionary complimented on the number of converts he
+had made, "I _hev_ been around a good deal, that's a fact. I reckon I've
+staked a claim purty much ev'rywhar in the diggins."
+
+"So I inferred from what the driver said," she replied, "and I came down
+here to ask you a question."
+
+Here she looked uneasily at the other players. The man who stole the ace
+translated it at once, and said:
+
+"We'll git out ef yer say so, mum; but yer needn't be afraid to say
+ennything before us. We know a lady when we see her, an' mebbe some on
+us ken give yer a lift; if we can't, I've only got to say thet ef yer
+let out enny secrets, grizzlies couldn't tear 'em out uv enny man in
+this crowd. Hey, fellers?"
+
+"You bet," was the firm response of the remaining two, and Buffle
+quickly passed a demijohn, to the ace-thief, as a sign of forgiveness
+and approbation.
+
+"Thank you, gentlemen--God bless you," said the woman, earnestly. "My
+story is soon told. I am looking for my husband, and I _must_ find him.
+His name is Allan Berryn."
+
+Buffle gazed thoughtfully in the fire, and remarked:
+
+"Names ain't much good in this country, mum--no man kerries
+visitin'-cards, an' mighty few gits letters. Besides, lots comes here
+'cos they're wanted elsewhere, an' they take names that ain't much like
+what their mothers giv 'em. Mebbe you could tell us somethin' else to
+put us on the trail of him?"
+
+"Hez he got both of his eyes an' ears, mum?" inquired one of the men.
+
+"Uv course he hez, you fool!" replied Buffle, savagely. "The lady's
+husband's a gentleman, an' 'tain't likely he's, been chawed or gouged."
+
+"I ax parding, mum," said the offender, in the most abject manner.
+
+"He is of medium height, slightly built, has brown hair and eyes, and
+wears a plain gold ring on the third finger of his left hand," continued
+Mrs. Berryn.
+
+"Got all his front teeth, mum?" asked the man Buffle had rebuked; then
+he turned quickly to Buffle, who was frowning suspiciously, and said,
+appeasingly, "Yer know, Buffle, that bein' a gentleman don't keep a
+feller from losin' his teeth in the nateral course of things."
+
+"He had all his front teeth a few months ago," replied Mrs. Berryn. "I
+do not know how to describe him further--he had no scars, moles, or
+other peculiarities which might identify him, except," she continued,
+with a faint blush--a wife's blush, which strongly tempted Buffle to
+kneel and kiss the ground she stood on--"except a locket I once gave
+him, with my portrait, and which he always wore over his heart. I can't
+believe he would take it off," said she, with a sob that was followed by
+a flood of tears.
+
+The men twisted on their seats, and showed every sign of uneasiness; one
+stepped outside to cough, another suddenly attacked the fire and poked
+it savagely, Buffle impolitely turned his back to the company, while the
+fourth man lost himself in the contemplation of the king of spades,
+which card ever afterward showed in its centre a blotch which seemed the
+result of a drop of water. Finally Buffle broke the silence by saying:
+
+"I'd give my last ounce, and my shootin'-iron besides, mum, ef I could
+put yer on his trail; but I can't remember no such man; ken you,
+fellers?"
+
+Three melancholy nods replied in the negative.
+
+"I am very much obliged to you, gentlemen," said Mrs. Berryn. "I will
+go back to the crossing and take the next stage. Perhaps, Mr. Buffle, if
+I send you my address when I reach San Francisco, you will let me know
+if you ever find any traces of him?"
+
+"Depend upon all of us for that, mum," replied Buffle.
+
+"Thank you," said she, and departed as suddenly as she had entered,
+leaving the men staring stupidly at each other.
+
+"Wonder how she got here from the crossin'?" finally remarked one.
+
+"Ef she came alone, she's got a black ride back," said another. "It's
+nigh onto fourteen miles to that crossin'."
+
+"An' she orten't to be travelin' at all," said little Muggy, the
+smallest man of the party. "I'm a family man--or I wuz once--an' I tell
+yer she ort to be where she ken keep quiet, an' wait for what's comin'
+soon."
+
+The men glanced at each other significantly, but without any of the
+levity which usually follows such an announcement in more cultured
+circles.
+
+"This game's up, boys," said Buffle, rising suddenly. "The stage don't
+reach the crossin' till noon, an' she is goin' to hev this shanty to
+stay in till daylight, anyhow. You fellers had better git, right away."
+
+Saying which, Buffle hurried out to look for Mrs. Berryn. He soon
+overtook her, and awkwardly said:
+
+"Mum!"
+
+She stopped.
+
+"Yer don't need to start till after daylight to reach that stage, mum,
+an' you'd better come back and rest yerself in my shanty till mornin'."
+
+"I am very much obliged, sir," she replied, "but--"
+
+"Don't be afeard, mum," said Buffle, hastily. "We're rough, but a lady's
+as safe here as she'd be among her family. Ye'll have the cabin all to
+yerself, an' I'll leave a revolver with yer to make yer feel better."
+
+"You are very kind, sir, but--it will take me some time to get back."
+
+"Horse lame, p'r'aps?"
+
+"No, sir; the truth is, I walked."
+
+"Good God!" ejaculated Buffle; "I'll kill any scoundrel of a
+station-agent that'll let a woman take such a walk as this. I'll take
+you back on a good horse before noon to-morrow, and I'll put a hole
+through that rascal right before your eyes, mum."
+
+Mrs. Berryn shuddered, at sight of which Buffle mentally consigned his
+eyes to a locality boasting a superheated atmosphere, for talking so
+roughly to a lady.
+
+"Don't harm him, Mr. Buffle," said she. "He knew nothing about it. I
+asked him the road to Fat Pocket Gulch, and he pointed it out. He did
+not know but what I had a horse or a carriage. Unfortunately, the stage
+was robbed the day before yesterday, and all my money was taken, or I
+should not have walked here, I assure you. My passage is paid to San
+Francisco, and the driver told me that if I wished to come down here,
+the next stage would take me through to San Francisco. When I get there,
+I can soon obtain money from the East."
+
+"Madame," said Buffle, unconsciously taking off his hat, "any lady
+that'll make that walk by dark is clear gold all the way down to
+bed-rock. Ef yer husband's in California, I'll find him fur yer, in
+spite of man or devil--_I_ will, an' I'll be on the trail in half an
+hour. An' you'd better stay here till I come back, or send yer word. I
+don't want to brag, but thar ain't a man in the Gulch that'll dare
+molest anythin' aroun' _my_ shanty, an' as thar's plenty of pervisions
+thar--plain, but good--yer can't suffer. The spring is close by, an'
+you'll allers find firewood by the door. An' ef yer want help about
+anythin', ask the fust man yer see, and say I told yer to."
+
+Mrs. Berryn looked earnestly into his face for a moment, and then
+trusted him.
+
+"Mr. Buffle," she said, "he is the best man that ever lived. But we were
+both proud, and we quarrelled, and he left me in anger. I accidentally
+heard he was in California, through an acquaintance who saw him leave
+New York on the California steamer. If you see him, tell him I was
+wrong, and that I will die if he does not come back. Tell him--tell
+him--that."
+
+"Never mind, mum," said Buffle, leading her hastily toward the shanty,
+and talking with unusual rapidity. "I'll bring him back all right ef I
+find him; an' find him I will, ef he's on top of the ground."
+
+They entered the cabin, and Buffle was rather astonished at the
+appearance of his own home. The men were gone, but on the bare logs,
+where Buffle usually reposed, they had spread their coats neatly, and
+covered them with a blanket which little Muggy usually wore.
+
+The cards had disappeared, and in their place lay a very small fragment
+of looking-glass; the demijohn stood in its accustomed place, but
+against it leaned a large chip, on which was scrawled, in charcoal, the
+word _Worter_.
+
+"Good," said Buffle, approvingly. "Now, mum, keep up yer heart. I tell
+yer I'll fetch him, an' any man at the Gulch ken tell yer thet lyin'
+ain't my gait."
+
+Buffle slammed the door, called at two or three other shanties, and gave
+orders in a style befitting a feudal lord, and in ten minutes was on
+horseback, galloping furiously out on the trail to Green Flat.
+
+The Green Flatites wondered at finding the great man among them, and
+treated him with the most painful civility. As he neither hung about the
+saloon, "got up" a game, nor provoked a horse-trade, it was immediately
+surmised that he was looking for some one, and each man searchingly
+questioned his trembling memory whether he had ever done Buffle an
+injury.
+
+All preserved a respectful silence as Buffle walked from claim to claim,
+carefully scrutinizing many, and all breathed freer as they saw him and
+his horse disappear over the hill on the Sonora trail.
+
+At Sonora he considered it wise to stay over Sunday--not to enjoy
+religious privileges, but because on Sunday sinners from all parts of
+the country round flocked into Sonora, to commune with the spirits,
+infernal rather than celestial, gathered there.
+
+He made the tour of all the saloons, dashed eagerly at two or three men,
+with plain gold rings on left fore-fingers, disgustedly found them the
+wrong men beyond doubt, cursed them, and invited them to drink. Then he
+closely catechised all the barkeepers, who were the only reliable
+directories in that country; they were anxious to oblige him, but none
+could remember such a man. So Buffle took his horse, and sought his man
+elsewhere.
+
+Meanwhile, Mrs. Berryn remained in camp, where she was cared for in a
+manner which called out her astonishment equally with her gratitude.
+Buffle was hardly well out of the Gulch when Mrs. Berryn heard a knock
+at the door; she opened it, and a man handed her a frying-pan, with the
+remark, "Buffle is cracked," and hastily disappeared.
+
+In the morning she was awakened by a crash outside the door, and, on
+looking out, discovered a quantity of firewood ready cut; each morning
+thereafter found in the same place a fresh supply, which was usually
+decorated with offerings of different degrees of appropriateness--pieces
+of fresh meat, strings of dried ditto, blankets enough for a large
+hotel, little packages of gold dust, case knives and forks, cans of salt
+butter, and all sorts of provisions, in quantity.
+
+Each man in camp fondly believed his own particular revolver was better
+than any other, and, as a natural consequence, the camp became almost
+peaceful, by reason of the number of pistols that were left in front of
+Mrs. Berryn's door. But she carefully left them alone, and when this was
+discovered the boys sorrowfully removed them.
+
+Then old Griff, living up the Gulch, with a horrible bulldog for
+companion, brought his darling animal down late one dark night, and tied
+him near the lady's residence, where he discoursed sweet sounds for two
+hours, until, to Mrs. Berryn's delight, he broke his chain, and returned
+to his old home.
+
+Then Sandytop, the ace-thief, suddenly left camp. Many were the
+surmises and bets on the subject; and on the third day, when two men,
+one of whom believed he had gone to steal a mule, and the other believed
+he had rolled into the creek while drunk, were about to refer the whole
+matter to pistols, they were surprised at seeing Sandytop stagger into
+camp, under a large, unsightly bundle. The next day Mrs. Berryn ate from
+crockery instead of tin, and had a china wash-bowl and pitcher.
+
+Little Muggy, who sold out his claim the day after Buffle left, went to
+San Francisco, but reappeared in camp in a few days, with a large
+bundle, a handsaw and a plane. Some light was thrown on the contents of
+the bundle by sundry scraps of linen, cotton, and very soft flannel,
+that the wind occasionally blew from the direction of Mrs. Berryn's
+abode; but why Muggy suddenly needed a very large window in the only
+boarded side of his house; why he never staked another claim and went to
+"washing;" why his door always had to be unlocked from the inside before
+any one could get in, instead of being ajar, as was the usual custom
+with doors at Fat Pocket Gulch; why visitors always found the floor
+strewn with shavings and blocks, but were told to mind their business if
+they asked what he was making; and why Uppercrust, an aristocratic young
+reprobate, who had been a doctor in the States, had suddenly taken up
+his abode with Muggy, were mysteries unsolvable by the united intellects
+of Fat Pocket Gulch.
+
+It was finally suggested by some one, that, as Muggy had often and
+fluently cursed the "rockers" used to wash out dirt along the Gulch, it
+was likely enough he was inventing a new one, and the ex-doctor, who, of
+course, knew something about chemistry, was helping him to work an
+amalgamator into it; a careful comparison of bets showed this to be a
+fairly accepted opinion, and so the matter rested.
+
+Meanwhile, Buffle had been untiring in his search, as his horse, could
+he have spoken, would have testified. Men wondered what Berryn had done
+to Buffle, and odds of ten to one that some undertaker would soon have
+reason to bless Buffle were freely offered, but seldom taken. One night
+Buffle's horse galloped into Deadlock Ridge, and the rider, hailing the
+first man he met, inquired the way to the saloon.
+
+"I don't know," replied the man.
+
+"Come, no foolin' thar," said Buffle, indignantly.
+
+"I don't know, I tell you--I don't drink."
+
+"Hang yer!" roared Buffle, in honest fury at what seemed to him the most
+stupendous lie ever told by a miner, "I'll teach yer to lie to me." And
+out came Buffle's pistol.
+
+The man saw his danger, and, springing at Buffle with the agility of a
+cat, snatched the pistol and threw it on the ground; in an instant
+Buffle's hand had firmly grasped the man by his shirt-collar, and, the
+horse taking fright, Buffle, a second later, found in his hand a torn
+piece of red flannel, a chain, and a locket, while the man lay on the
+ground.
+
+"At last!" exclaimed Buffle, convinced that he had found his man; but
+his emotions were quickly cooled by the man in the road, who, jumping
+from the ground, picked up Buffle's pistol, cocked and aimed it, and
+spoke in a grating voice, as if through set teeth:
+
+"Give back that locket this second, or, as God lives, I'll take it out
+of a dead man's hand."
+
+The rapidity of human thought is never so beautifully illustrated as
+when the owner of a human mind is serving involuntarily as a target.
+
+"My friend," said Buffle, "ef I've got anything uv yourn, yer ken hev it
+on provin' property. We'll go to whar that fust light is up above--I'll
+walk the hoss slow an' yer ken keep me covered with the pistol; ain't
+that fair?"
+
+"Be quick, then," said the man, excitedly; "start!"
+
+The trip was not more than two minutes in length, but it seemed a good
+hour to Buffle, whose acquaintanceship the delicacy of the trigger of
+his beloved pistol caused his past life to pass in retrospect before
+him several times before they reached the light. The light proved to be
+in the saloon whose locality had provoked the quarrel. The saloon was
+full, the door was open, and there was a buzz of astonishment, which
+culminated in a volley of ejaculations, in which strength predominated
+over elegance, as a large man, followed closely by a small man with a
+cocked pistol, marched up to the bar.
+
+"Gentlemen," said Buffle, "this feller sez I've got some uv his
+property, an' he's come here to prove it. Now, feller, wot's yer claim?"
+
+"A chain and locket," said the man; "hang you, I see them in your hand
+now."
+
+"Ennybody ken see a chain an' locket in my hand," said Buffle, "but that
+don't make it yourn."
+
+"The locket contains the portrait of a lady, and the inscription
+'Frances to Allan'--look quick, or I'll shoot!" said the little man,
+savagely.
+
+Buffle opened it, and saw Mrs. Berryn's portrait.
+
+"Mister, yer right," said he; "here's yer property, an' I'll apologize,
+er drink, er fight--er apologize, _an_' drink, _an'_ fight, whichever is
+yer style. Fust, however, ef ye'll drop that pistol, I'll drink myself,
+considerin'--never mind. Denominate yer pizen, gentlemen," said he, as
+the audience crowded to the bar.
+
+"Buffle," whispered the barkeeper, who knew the great man by sight,
+"he's a littler man than you."
+
+"I know it, boss," replied Buffle, most brazenly. "He sez he don't
+drink."
+
+"Never saw him _here_ before--there, he's goin' out now," said the
+barkeeper.
+
+Buffle turned and dashed through the crowd; all who held glasses quickly
+laid them down and followed.
+
+"Stand back, the hull crowd uv yer," said Buffle; "this ain't no
+fight--me an' the gentleman got private bizness." And, laying his hand
+on Berryn's shoulder, he said, "What are yer doin' here, when yer know a
+lady like that?"
+
+"Suffering hell for abusing heaven,'" replied Berryn, passionately.
+
+"Then why don't yer go back?" inquired Buffle.
+
+"Because I've got no money; all luck has failed me ever since I left
+home--shipwreck, hunger, poverty--"
+
+"Come back a minute," interrupted Buffle. "I forgot to come down with
+the dust for the drinks. Now I tell yer what--I want yer to go back to
+my camp--I've got plenty uv gold, an' it's no good to me, only fur
+gamblin' an' drinkin'; yer welcome to enough uv it to git yerself home,
+an' git on yer feet when yer get thar."
+
+Berryn looked doubtingly at him as they entered the saloon.
+
+"P'r'aps somebody here ken tell this gentleman my name?" said Buffle.
+
+"Buffle!" said several voices in chorus.
+
+"Bully! Now, p'r'aps you same fellers ken tell him ef I'm a man uv my
+word?"
+
+"You bet," responded the same chorus.
+
+"An' now, p'r'aps some uv yer'll sell me a good hoss, pervidin' yer
+don't want him stole mighty sudden?"
+
+Several men invited attention to their respective animals, tied near the
+door. Promptly selecting one, paying for it, and settling with the
+barkeeper, and mounting his own horse while Berryn mounted the new one,
+the two men galloped away, leaving the bystanders lost in astonishment,
+from which they only recovered after almost superhuman industry on the
+part of the barkeeper.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+One evening, when the daily labors and household cares of the Pat Pocket
+Gulchites had ended, the residents of that quiet village were
+congregated, as usual, at the saloon. It was too early for gambling and
+fighting, and the boys chatted peacefully, pausing only a few times to
+drink "Here's her," which had become the standard toast of the Gulch.
+Conversation turned on Muggy's invention, and a few bets were
+exchanged, which showed the boys were not quite sure it was a rocker,
+after all. Suddenly Sandytop, who had been leaning against the
+door-frame, and, looking in the direction of Buffle's old cabin,
+ejaculated:
+
+"'_Tis_ a rocker, boys--it's a rocker, but--but not that kind."
+
+The boys poured out the door, and saw an unusual procession approaching
+Mrs. Berryn's cabin; first came Uppercrust, the young ex-doctor, then an
+Irishwoman from a neighboring settlement, and then Muggy, bearing a
+baby's cradle, neatly made of pine boards. The doctor and woman went in,
+and Muggy, dropping the cradle, ran at full speed to the saloon, and up
+to the bar, the crowd following.
+
+Muggy looked along the line, saw all the glasses were filled and in
+hand, and then, raising his own, exclaimed, "Here's her, boys!" and then
+went into a fully developed boo-hoo. And he was not alone; for once the
+boys watered their liquor, and purer water God never made.
+
+It was some moments before shirt-sleeves ceased to officiate as
+handkerchiefs; but just as the boys commenced to look savagely at each
+other, as if threatening cold lead if any one suspected undue
+tenderness, Sandytop, who had returned to his post at the door to give
+ease to the stream which his sleeve could not staunch, again startled
+the crowd by staring earnestly toward the hill over which led the trail,
+and exclaiming, "Good God!"
+
+There was another rush to the door, and there, galloping down the trail,
+was Buffle and another man. The boys stared at each other, but said
+nothing--their gift of swearing was not equal to the occasion.
+
+Steadily they stared at the two men, until Buffle, reining back a
+little, pointed his pistol threateningly. They took the hint, and after
+they were all inside, Sandytop closed the door and the shutters of the
+unglazed windows.
+
+"Thar's my shanty," said Buffle, as they neared it from one side; "that
+one with two bar'ls fur a chimley. You jest go right in. I'll be thar ez
+soon ez I put up the hosses."
+
+As they reached the front, both men started at the sight of the cradle.
+
+"Why, I didn't know you were a married man, Buffle?" said his companion.
+
+"I--well--I--I--don't tell everything" stammered Buffle; and, catching
+the bridle of Berryn's horse the moment his rider had dismounted, Buffle
+dashed off to the saloon, and took numerous solitary drinks, at which no
+one took offense. Then he turned, nodded significantly toward the old
+shanty, and asked:
+
+"How long since?"
+
+"Not quite yit--yer got him here in time, Buffle," said Muggy.
+
+"Thank the Lord!" said Buffle. His lips were very familiar with the name
+of the Lord, but they had never before used it in this sense.
+
+Then, while several men were getting ready to ask Buffle where he found
+his man--Californians never ask questions in a hurry--there came from
+the direction of Buffle's shanty the sound of a subdued cry.
+
+"Gentlemen," said the barkeeper, "there's no more drinking at this bar
+to-night until--until I say so."
+
+No one murmured. No one swore. No one suggested a game. An old enemy of
+Buffle's happened in, but that worthy, instead of feeling for his
+pistol, quietly left the leaning-post, and bowed his enemy into it.
+
+The boys stood and sat about, studied the cracks in the floor, the
+pattern of the shutters, contemplated the insides of their hats, and
+chewed tobacco as if their lives depended on it.
+
+Buffle made frequent trips to the door, and looked out. Suddenly he
+closed the door, and had barely time to whisper, "No noise, now, or I'll
+shoot," when the doctor walked in. The crowd arose.
+
+"It's all right, gentlemen," said the doctor--"as fine a boy as I ever
+saw."
+
+"My treat for the rest of the evening, boys," said the barkeeper,
+hurriedly crowding glasses and bottles on the bar. "Her," "Him," "Him,
+Junior," "Buffle," "Doc.," and "Old Rockershop," as some happily
+inspired miner dubbed little Muggy, were drunk successively.
+
+The door opened again, and in walked Allan Berryn. Glancing quickly
+about, he soon distinguished Buffle. He grasped his hand, looked him
+steadily in the eye, and exclaimed:
+
+"Buffle, you--"
+
+He was a Harvard graduate, and a fine talker, was Allan Berryn, but,
+when he had spoken two words, he somehow forgot the remainder of the
+speech he had made up on his way over; his silence for two or three
+seconds seemed of hours to every man who looked on his face, so that it
+was a relief to all when he gave Buffle a mighty hug, and then
+precipitately retreated.
+
+Buffle looked sheepish, and shook himself.
+
+"That feller can outhug a grizzly," said he. "Boys," he continued, "that
+chap's been buckin' agin luck sence he's been in the diggin's, an' is
+clean busted. But his luck begun to turn this evening, an' here's what
+goes for keepin' the ball a-rollin'. Here's my ante;" saying which, he
+laid his old hat on the bar, took out his buckskin bag of gold-dust, and
+emptied it into the hat.
+
+Bags came out of pockets all around, and were either entirely emptied,
+or had their contents largely diminished by knife-blades, which scooped
+out the precious dust, and dropped it into the hat.
+
+"There," said Buffle, looking into the hat, "I reckon that'll kerry 'em
+back to their folks."
+
+For a fortnight the saloon was as quiet as a well-ordered
+prayer-meeting, and it was solemnly decided that no fight with pistols
+should take place nearer than The Bend, which was, at least, a mile from
+where the new resident's cradle was located.
+
+One pleasant, quiet evening, Buffle, who frequently passed an hour with
+Berryn on the latter's woodpile, was seen approaching the saloon with a
+very small bundle, which, nevertheless, occupied both his arms and all
+his attention.
+
+"It, by thunder," said one. So it was; a wee, pink-faced, blue-eyed,
+fuzzy-topped little thing, with one hand frantically clutching three
+hairs of Buflle's beard.
+
+"See the little thing pull," said one.
+
+"Is that all the nose they hev at fust?" asked another, seriously.
+
+"Can't yer take them pipes out uv yer mouths when the baby's aroun'?"
+indignantly demanded another.
+
+Little Muggy edged his way through the crowd, threw away his quid of
+tobacco, took the baby from Buffle, and kissed it a dozen times.
+
+"I'm goin' home, fellers," said Muggy, finally. "I'm wanted by the
+lawyers for cuttin' a man that sassed me while I was shoe-makin'. But
+I'm a-goin' to see my young uns, even if all creation wants me."
+
+"An' I'm a-goin', too," said Buffle. "I'm wanted pretty bad by some
+that's East, but I reckon I'm well enough hid by the bar that's grow'd
+sence I wuz a boy, an' dug out from old Varmont. I've had a new taste uv
+decency lately, an' I'm goin' to see ef I can't stan' it for a stiddy
+diet. The chap over to the shanty sez he ken git me somethin' to do, an'
+ennythin's better'n gamblin', drinkin', and fightin'.
+
+"It's agin the law to kerry shootin'-irons there, Buffle," suggested
+one.
+
+"Yes, an' they got a new kind uv a law there, to keep a man from takin'
+his bitters," said another.
+
+"Yes," said Buffle, "all that's mighty tough, but ef a feller's bound
+fur bed-rock, he might ez well git that all uv a sudden, ef he ken."
+
+Buffle started toward the door, stopped as if he had something else to
+say, started again, hesitated, feigned indignation at the baby, flushed
+the least bit, opened the door, partly closed it again, squeezed himself
+out and displaying only the tip of his nose, roared:
+
+"This baby's name is Allan Buffle Berryn--Allen _Buffle_ Berryn!" and
+then rushed at full speed to leave the baby at home, while the boys
+clinked glasses melodiously.
+
+At the end of another fortnight there was a procession formed at Fat
+Pocket Gulch; two horses, one wearing a side-saddle, were brought to the
+door of Buffle's old house, and Mrs. Berryn and her husband mounted
+them; they were soon joined by Buffle and Muggy.
+
+[Illustration: "THIS BABY'S NAME IS ALLAN BUFFLE BERRYN."]
+
+For months after there was mourning far and wide among owners of mules
+and horses, for each Gulchite had been out stealing, that he might ride
+with the escort which was to see the Berryns safely to the crossing. An
+advance-guard was sent ahead, and the party were about to start, when
+Buffle suddenly dismounted and entered his old cabin; when he
+reappeared, a cloud of smoke followed him.
+
+"Thar," said he, a moment later, as flames were seen bursting through
+the roof, "no galoot uv a miner don't live in that shanty after that.
+Git."
+
+Away galloped the party, the baby in the arms of its father. The
+crossing was safely reached, and the stage had room for the whole party,
+and, after a hearty hand-shaking all around, the stage started. Sandytop
+threw one of his only two shoes after it for luck.
+
+As the stage was disappearing around a bend, a little way from the
+crossing, the back curtain was suddenly thrown up, a baby, backed by a
+white hat and yellow beard, was seen, and a familiar voice was heard to
+roar, "Allan _Buffle_ Berryn."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+MATALETTE'S SECTION.
+
+
+"Nice place? I guess it is; ther hain't no such farm in _this_ part of
+Illinoy, nor anywhere else that _I_ knows on. Two-story house, and
+painted instead of being whitewashed; blinds on the winders; no
+thirty-dollar horses in the barn, an' no old, unpainted wagons around;
+no deadened trees standin' aroun' in the corn-lot or the
+wheat-field--not a one. Good cribs to hold his corn, instead of leaving
+it on the stalk, or tuckin' it away in holler sycamore logs, good pump
+to h'ist his drinkin'-water with, good help to keep up with the
+work--why, ther hain't a man on Matalette's whole place that don't look
+smart enough to run a farm all alone by himself. And money--well, he
+don't ask no credit of no man: he just hauls out his money and pays up,
+as if he enjoyed gettin' rid of it. There's nobody like him in these
+parts, you can just bet your life."
+
+The speaker was a Southern Illinoisan of twenty-five years ago, and his
+only auditor was a brother farmer.
+
+Both worked hard and shook often (with ague) between the seed time and
+harvest, but neither had succeeded in amassing such comfortable results
+as had seemed to reward the efforts of their neighbor Matalette. For the
+listener had not heard half the story of Matalette's advantages. He was
+as good-natured, smart and hospitable as he was lucky. He indulged in
+the unusual extravagance of a hired cook; and the neighbors, though
+they, on principle, disapproved of such expenditure, never failed to
+appreciate the results of the said cook's labors.
+
+Matalette had a sideboard, too, and the contents smelled and tasted
+very unlike the liquor which was sold at the only store in Bonpas
+Bottoms.
+
+When young Lauquer, who was making a gallant fight against a stumpy
+quarter section, had his only horse lie down and die just as the second
+corn-plowing season came on, it was Matalette who supplied the money
+which bought the new horse.
+
+When the inhabitants of the Bottoms wondered and talked and argued about
+the advisability of trying some new seed-wheat, which had the reputation
+of being very heavy, Matalette settled the whole question by ordering a
+large lot, and distributing it with his compliments.
+
+Lastly--though the statement has not, strictly speaking, any
+agricultural bearing--Matalette had a daughter. There were plenty of
+daughters among the families in Bonpas Bottoms, and many of them were
+very estimable girls; but Helen Matalette was very different from any of
+them.
+
+"Always knows just what to say and do," remarked Syle-Conover, one day,
+at the store, where the male gossips of the neighborhood met to exchange
+views. "A fellow goes up to see Matalette--goes in his shirt-sleeves,
+not expectin' to see any women around--when who comes to the door but
+_her_. For a minute a fellow wishes he could fly, or sink; next minute
+he feels as if he'd been acquainted with her for a year. Hanged if I
+understand it, but she's the kind of gal I go in fur!"
+
+The latter clause of Syle's speech fitly expressed the sentiments of all
+the young men in Bonpas Bottoms, as well as of many gentlemen not so
+young.
+
+Old men--farmers with daughters of their own--would cheerfully forego
+the delights of either a prayer-meeting or a circus, and suddenly find
+some business to transact with Matalette, whenever there seemed a
+reasonable chance of seeing Helen; and such of them as had sons of a
+marriageable age would express to those young men their entire
+willingness to be promoted to the rank of fathers-in-law.
+
+There was just one unpleasant thing about the Matalettes, both father
+and daughter, and that was, the ease with which one could startle them.
+
+It was rather chilling, until one knew Matalette well, to see him
+tremble and start violently on being merely slapped on the shoulder by
+some one whose approach he had not noticed; it was equally unpleasant
+for a newcomer, on suddenly confronting Helen, to see her turn pale, and
+look quickly and furtively about, as if preparing to run.
+
+The editor of the _Bonpas Cornblade_, in a sonnet addressed to "H.M.,"
+compared this action to that of a startled fawn; but the public wondered
+whether Helen's father could possibly be excused in like manner, and
+whether the comparison could, with propriety, be extended so as to
+include the three hired men, who, curiously enough, were equally
+timorous at first acquaintance.
+
+But this single fault of the Matalettes and their adherents was soon
+forgotten, for it did not require a long residence in Bonpas Bottoms to
+make the acquaintance of every person living in that favored section,
+and strangers--except such passengers as occasionally strolled ashore
+while the steamboat landed supplies for the store, or shipped the grain
+which Matalette was continually buying and sending to New
+Orleans--seldom found their way to Bonpas Bottoms.
+
+The Matalettes sat at supper one evening, when there was heard a knock
+at the door. There was in an instant an unusual commotion about the
+table, at which sat the three hired men, with the host and his
+daughter--a commotion most extraordinary for a land in which neither
+Indians nor burglars were known.
+
+Each of the hired men hastily clicked something under the table, while
+Helen turned pale, but quickly drew a small stiletto from a fold of her
+dress.
+
+"Ready?" asked Matalette, in a low tone, as he took a candle from the
+table, and placed his unoccupied hand in his pocket.
+
+"Yes," whispered each of the men, while Helen nodded.
+
+"Who's there?" shouted Matalette, approaching the outer door.
+
+"I--Asbury Crewne--the new circuit preacher," replied a voice. "I'm wet,
+cold and hungry--can you give me shelter, in the name of my Master?"
+
+"Certainly!" cried Matalette, hastening to open the door, while the
+three hired men rapidly repocketed their pistols, and Helen gave vent to
+a sigh of relief.
+
+They heard a heavy pack thrown on the floor, a hearty greeting from
+Matalette, and then they saw in the doorway a tall, straight young man,
+whose blue eyes, heavy, closely curling yellow hair and finely cut
+features made him extremely handsome, despite a solemn, puritanical look
+which not even a driving rain and a cold wind had been able to banish
+from his face.
+
+There were many worthy young men in the Bonpas Bottoms, but none of them
+were at all so fine-looking as Asbury Crewne; so, at least, Helen seemed
+to think, for she looked at him steadily, except when he was looking at
+her. Of course, Crewne, being a preacher, took none but a spiritual
+interest in young ladies; but where a person's face seems to show forth
+the owner's whole soul, as was the case with Helen Matalette's, a
+minister of the Gospel is certainly justifiable in looking oft and long
+at it--nay, is even grossly culpable if he does not regard it with a
+lively and tender interest.
+
+Such seemed to be the young divine's train of reasoning, and his
+consequent conclusion, for, from the time he exchanged his dripping
+clothing for a suit of Matalette's own, he addressed his conversation
+almost entirely to Helen. And Helen, who very seldom met, in the Bonpas
+Bottoms, gentlemen of taste and intelligence, seemed to be spending an
+unusually agreeable evening, if her radiant and expressive countenance
+might be trusted to tell the truth.
+
+When the young preacher, according to the custom of his class and
+denomination, at that day, finally turned the course of conversation
+toward the one reputed object of his life, it was with a sigh which
+indicated, perhaps, how earnestly he regretted that the dominion of
+Satan in the world compelled him to withdraw his soul from such pure and
+unusual delights as had been his during that evening. And when, after
+offering a prayer with the family, Crewne followed Matalette to a
+chamber to rest, Helen bade him good-night with a bright smile which
+mixed itself up inextricably with his private devotions, his thoughts
+and his plans for forthcoming sermons, and seriously curtailed his
+night's rest in addition.
+
+In the morning it was found that his clothing was still wet, so, as it
+was absolutely necessary that he should go to fulfil an appointment, it
+was arranged that he should retain Matalette's clothing, and return
+within a few days for his own.
+
+Then Matalette, learning that the young man was traveling his circuit on
+foot, insisted on lending him a horse, and on giving him money with
+which to purchase one.
+
+It was a great sum of money--more than his salary for a year amounted
+to--and the young man's feelings almost overcame him as he tried to
+utter his thanks; but just then Helen made her first appearance during
+the morning, and from the instant she greeted Crewne all thoughts of
+gratitude seemed to escape his mind, unless, indeed, he suddenly
+determined to express his thanks through a third party. Such a
+supposition would have been fully warranted by the expressive looks he
+cast upon Helen's handsome face.
+
+Had any member of the flock at Mount Pisgah Station seen these two young
+people during the moment or two which followed Helen's appearance, he
+would have sorrowfully but promptly dismissed from his mind any
+expectation of hearing the sermon which Crewne had promised to preach at
+Mount Pisgah that morning. But the young preacher was of no ordinary
+human pattern: with sorrow, yet determination, he bade Helen good-by,
+and though, as he rode away, he frequently turned his head, he never
+stopped his horse.
+
+Down the road through the dense forest he went, trying, by reading his
+Bible as he rode, to get his mind in proper condition for a mighty
+effort at Mount Pisgah. He wasn't conscious of doing such a thing--he
+could honestly lay his hand on his heart and say he hadn't the slightest
+intention of doing anything of the kind, yet somehow his Bible opened at
+the Song of Solomon. For a moment he read, but for a moment only; then
+he shut his lips tightly, and deliberately commenced reading the Book of
+Psalms.
+
+He had fairly restored his mind to working shape, and was just
+whispering fervent thanks to the Lord, when a couple of horsemen
+galloped up to him. As he turned his head to see who they might be, he
+observed that each of them held a pistol in a very threatening manner.
+As he looked, however, the pistols dropped, and one of the riders
+indulged in a profane expression of disappointment.
+
+"It's Matalette's clothes and horse, Jim," he said to his companion,
+"but it's the preacher's face.
+
+"And you have been providentially deferred from committing a great
+crime!" exclaimed Crewne, with a reproving look. "Mr. Matalette took me
+in last night, wet, cold, and footsore; this morning I departed,
+refreshed, clothed and mounted. To rob a man who is so lavish of--"
+
+"Beg your pardon, parson," interrupted one of the men, "but you haven't
+got the right pig by the ear. We're not highwaymen. I'm the sheriff of
+this county, and Jim's a constable. And as for Matalette, he's a
+counterfeiter, and we're after him."
+
+Crewne dropped his bridle-rein, and his lower jaw, as he exclaimed:
+
+"Impossible!"
+
+"'Tis, eh?" said the sheriff. "Well, we've examined several lots of
+money he's paid out lately, and there isn't a good bill among 'em."
+
+Crewne mechanically put his hands in his pocket and drew forth the money
+Matalette had given him to buy a horse with. The sheriff snatched it.
+
+"That's some of his stock?" said he, looking it rapidly over. _That_
+seems good enough."
+
+"What will become of his poor daughter?" ejaculated the young preacher,
+with a vacant look.
+
+"What, Helen?" queried the sheriff. "She's the best engraver of
+counterfeits there is in the whole West."
+
+"Dreadful--dreadful!" exclaimed the young preacher, putting his hand
+over his eyes.
+
+"Fact," replied the sheriff. "You parsons have got a big job to do 'fore
+this world's in the right shape, an' sheriffs and constables ain't
+needed. Wish you good luck at it, though 'twill be bad for trade. You'll
+keep mum 'bout this case, of course. We'll catch 'em in the act finally;
+then there won't be any danger about not getting a conviction, an' our
+reward, that's offered by the banks."
+
+The sheriff and his assistant galloped on to the village they had been
+approaching when they overtook Crewne; but the young minister did not
+accompany them, although the village toward which they rode was the one
+in which he was to preach that morning.
+
+Perhaps he needed more time and quietness in which to compose his
+sermon. If this supposition is correct, it may account for the fact that
+the members of the Mount Pisgah congregation pronounced his sermon that
+day, from the text, "All is vanity," one of his most powerful efforts.
+
+In fact, old Mrs. Reets, who had for time immemorial entertained the
+probable angels who appeared at Mount Pisgah in ministerial guise,
+remarked that "preacher seemed all tuckered out by that talk; tuk his
+critter, an' left town 'fore the puddin' was done."
+
+That same evening, the sheriff and his deputy, with several special
+assistants, rode from Mount Pisgah toward Matalette's section.
+
+The night was dark, rainy and cloudy; the horses stumbled over roots and
+logs in the imperfectly made road; the low-hanging branches spitefully
+cut the faces of the riders, and brought several hats to grief, and
+snatched the sheriff's pipe out of his mouth.
+
+And yet the sheriff seemed in excellent spirits. To be sure, he softly
+whistled the air of, "Jordan is a hard road to travel," which was the
+popular air twenty-five years ago, but there was a merry tone to his
+whistle. He stopped whistling suddenly, and remarked to the constable:
+
+"Got notice to-day of another new counterfeit. Five hundred offered for
+arrest and conviction on _that_. Hope we can prove _that_ on Matalette's
+gang. We can go out of politics, and run handsome farms of our own, if
+things go all right to-night. Don't know but I'd give my whole share,
+though, to whoever would arrest Helen. It's a dog's life, anyhow, this
+bein' a sheriff. I won't complain, however, if we get that gang
+to-night."
+
+The party rode on until they were within a mile of Matalette's section,
+when they reined their horses into the woods, dismounted, left a man on
+watch, and approached the dwelling on foot.
+
+Reaching the fence, the party halted, whispered together for a moment,
+and silently surrounded the house in different directions.
+
+The sheriff removed his boots, walked noiselessly around the house, saw
+that he had a man at each door and window, and posted one at the
+cellar-door. Then the sheriff put on his boots, approached the front
+door, and knocked loudly.
+
+There was no response. The light was streaming brightly from one of the
+windows, and the sheriff tried to look in, but the thick curtain
+prevented him. He knocked again, and louder, but still there was no
+response. Then he became uneasy. He was a brave man when he knew what
+was to be met, but now all sorts of uncomfortable suspicions crossed his
+mind; the rascals might be up-stairs waiting for a quiet opportunity to
+shoot down at him, or they might be under the small stoop on which he
+stood, and preparing to fire up at him. They might be quietly burning
+their spurious money up-stairs, so as to destroy the evidence against
+them; they might be in the cellar burying the plates.
+
+The sheriff could endure the suspense no longer. Signaling to him two of
+his men, he, with a blow of a stick of wood, broke in the window-sash.
+As, immediately afterward, he tore aside the curtain, he and his
+assistance presented pistols and shouted:
+
+"Surrender!"
+
+No one was visible, and the sheriff only concealed his sheepish feelings
+by jumping into the room. His assistants followed him, and they searched
+the entire house without finding any one.
+
+They searched the cellar, the outhouses, and the barn, but encountered
+only the inquiring glances of the horses and cattle. Then they searched
+the house anew, hoping to find proof of the guilt of Matalette and his
+family; but, excepting holes in the floor of a vacant room, they found
+nothing which might not be expected in a comfortable home.
+
+Suddenly some one thought of the boats which Matalette kept at the mouth
+of the creek, and a detachment, headed by the sheriff, went hastily down
+to examine them.
+
+The boats were gone--not even the tiniest canoe or most dilapidated
+skiff remained. It is grievous to relate--but truth is truth--that the
+sheriff, who was on Sundays a Sabbath-school superintendent, now lost
+his temper and swore frightfully. But no boats were conjured up by the
+sheriff's language, nor did his assistance succeed in finding any up the
+creek; so the party returned to the house, and resorted to the illegal
+measure of helping themselves liberally to the contents of Matalette's
+sideboard.
+
+Meanwhile a black mass, floating down the Wabash, about a dozen miles
+below the Bonpas's mouth, seemed the cause of some mysterious plunging
+and splashing in the river. Finally an aperture appeared in the black
+mass, and the light streamed out. Then the figure of a man appeared in
+the aperture, and all was dark again.
+
+As the figure disappeared within the mass, three bearded men, dressed
+like emigrants, looked up furtively, one yellow-haired man stared
+vacantly and sadly into the fire which illumed the cabin of the little
+trading boat, while Helen Matalette sprang forward and threw her arms
+about the figure's neck.
+
+"It's all gone, Nell," said the man. "Presses and plates are where
+nobody will be likely to find them. The Wabash won't tell secrets."
+
+"I'm so glad--_oh_, so glad!" cried the girl.
+
+"It's a fortune thrown away," said one of the men, moodily.
+
+"Yes, and a bad name, too," said she, with flashing eyes.
+
+"We're beggars for life, anyhow," growled another of the men.
+
+"Nonsense!" exclaimed Matalette. "Nell's right--if we're not tracked and
+caught, I'll never be sorry that we sunk the accursed business for ever.
+And, considering our narrow escape, and how it happened, I don't think
+we're very gentlemanly to sit here bemoaning our luck. Mr. Crewne,"
+continued Matalette, crossing to the yellow-haired figure in front of
+the fire, "you've saved me--what can I give you?"
+
+The young preacher recovered himself, and replied, briefly:
+
+"Your soul."
+
+Matalette winced, and, in a weak voice, asked:
+
+"Anything else?"
+
+Crewne looked toward Helen; Helen blushed, and looked a little
+frightened; Crewne blushed, too, and seemed to be clearing his throat;
+then, with a mighty effort, he said:
+
+"Yes--Helen."
+
+The counterfeiter looked at his daughter for an instant, and then failed
+to see her partly because something marred the clearness of his vision
+just then, and partly because Crewne, interpreting the father's silence
+as consent, took possession of the reward he had named, and almost hid
+her from her father's view.
+
+Matalette's section was finally sold for taxes, and was never reclaimed,
+but the excitement relating to its former occupants was for years so
+great that the purchasers of the estate found it worldly wisdom to
+dispense refreshments on the ground.
+
+As for Crewne--a few months after the occurrences mentioned above there
+appeared, in the wilds of Missouri, a young preacher with unusual zeal,
+and a handsome wife. And about the same time four men entered a
+quarter-section of prairie-land near the young preacher's station, and
+appeared then and evermore to be the most ardent and faithful of the
+young man's admirers.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+A STORY OF TEN MILE GULCH.
+
+
+I.
+
+The horse which Mr. Tom Ruger rode kept the path, steep and rugged
+though it was, without any guidance from him, and its mate followed
+demurely. They were accustomed to it; and many a mile had they traversed
+in this way, taking turns at carrying their owner and master. Indeed,
+the trio seemed inseparable, and "as happy as Tom Ruger and his horses"
+was a phrase that was very often heard in every mining camp and
+settlement.
+
+As for Mr. Tom Ruger himself, very little was known of him save what had
+been learned during the two years that he had sojourned among them.
+Where he came from never was known, nor asked but once by the same
+person. All that could be said of him might be summed up in the
+following statement:
+
+"The finest-looking, the best-dressed, and the best-mannered man on the
+Pacific coast, and the best horseman."
+
+These were the words of "mine host" at the Ten Mile House, and, as he
+was a gentleman whose word was as good as his paper, we will accept them
+as truth.
+
+As Mr. Ruger rode down the mountain-side that beautiful Autumn day,
+dressed in the finest of broadcloth, with linen of the most immaculate
+whiteness, smoking what appeared to be a very good cigar, and humming to
+himself a fragment of some old song, he looked strangely out of place.
+
+So thought Miss Fanny Borlan as she looked out of the stage-window, and
+caught her first glimpse of him just where his path intersected the
+stage-road; and she would have asked the driver about him, had he not
+been so near.
+
+Mr. Ruger caught sight of her face about that time, and tossing away the
+cigar, he lifted his hat to her in the most approved style.
+
+She acknowledged the salute by a bow, and when he rode up to the side of
+the stage, and made some casual remark about the fine weather, she did
+not choose to consider it out of the way to receive this advance toward
+a traveling acquaintance with seeming cordiality.
+
+"Have you traveled far?" he asked.
+
+"From the Atlantic coast, sir."
+
+"The same journey that I intend to take some of these days, only that I
+hope to substitute the word Pacific at its termination. I hope you are
+near the end of your journey in this direction?"
+
+"My destination is Ten Mile Gulch, I believe; but you have such horrid
+names out here."
+
+"I presume they do appear somewhat queer to a stranger, but they nearly
+all have the merit of being appropriate. You stop at the settlement?"
+
+"I do not know. My brother wrote to me to come to Ten Mile Gulch. Is it
+the name of a town?"
+
+"Both of a village and a mining district, from which the village takes
+its name. Is your brother a miner?"
+
+"Yes, sir."
+
+"I presume he intended to meet you at the settlement You will no doubt
+find him at the tavern; if not, I will tell him of your arrival, for my
+way leads through the mines."
+
+"Thank you, sir. My brother's name is John Borlan."
+
+"I am somewhat acquainted with him," said Mr. Kuger, "though in this
+region of strange names we call him Jack. My name is Thomas Ruger."
+
+"Tom, in California style?" she asked, with a merry twinkle in her eye.
+
+"Yes, Miss Borlan," he said, also smiling. "Tom Ruger is well known
+where Thomas Ruger never was heard of. And now I will bid you good-day,
+Miss Borlan, for I am in something of a hurry to reach the settlement.
+If I do not find Jack there, I will go on to the mines and tell him."
+
+"Ah, Miss, you don't have such men as Tom Ruger out where you come
+from," said the driver, as Tom disappeared up the road. "And them nags
+of his'n can't be beat this side of the mountains. He makes a heap o'
+money with 'em."
+
+"What! a horse-jockey?" exclaimed Miss Borlan.
+
+"We don't call him that, miss. Some says he's a sportin' man, which
+ain't nothin' ag'in him, for the country's new, ye see. He's got heaps
+o' money anyway, and there ain't a camp nor a town on the coast that
+don't know Tom Ruger. Ah, ye don't have such men as Tommy. He'd be at
+home in a palace, now wouldn't he? And it's jest the same in a miner's
+shanty. Ye don't have such men as he. If he takes a likin' to anybody,
+he sticks to 'em through thick and thin; but if he gits ag'in ye once,
+he's--the--very--deuce. Ah, ye don't have no such man out where you come
+from."
+
+She did not care to dispute this point. In fact, after what she had seen
+and heard, she was inclined to believe that there was no such men as Tom
+Ruger out where she had come from; so she made no reply; and the driver,
+following out his train of thought, rattled on about Tom Ruger until
+they came in sight of Ten Mile Gulch, winding up his narrative with the
+sage, but rather unexpected, remark, that there weren't no such men as
+Tom Ruger out where she had come from.
+
+
+II.
+
+The barroom at the Miners' Home might have been more crowded at some
+former period of its existence, but to have duplicated the two dozen
+faces and forms of the two dozen Ten Milers who were congregated there
+that beautiful Autumn afternoon would have been a hopeless task.
+
+Ten Mile Gulch had turned out _en masse_, and those same Ten Milers
+were distinguished neither for their good looks, nor taste in dress, nor
+softness of heart or language, nor elegance of manners. Further than
+that we do not care to go at present.
+
+But there was one face and one form absent. No more would the genial
+atmosphere of that barroom respond to the heavings of his broad chest,
+no more would the dignified concoctor of rare and villainous drinks pass
+him the whisky-straight. Alas! Bill Foster had passed in his checks, and
+gone the way of all Ten Milers.
+
+And it was this fact that brought these diligent delvers after hidden
+treasure from their work, for Bill had not gone in the ordinary way. At
+night he was in the full enjoyment of health and a game of poker; in the
+morning they found him just outside the domicile of Jack Borlan, with a
+small puncture near the heart to tell how it was done. Such was life at
+Ten Mile Gulch.
+
+Who made the puncture?
+
+Circumstances pointed to Jack Borlan, and they escorted him down to the
+settlement. He stood by the bar conversing with the dispenser of liquid
+lightning. Two very calm-looking Ten Milers were within easy reach of
+Mr. Borlan; two more at the door, which was left temptingly open; two
+more at each window, and the remainder scattered about the room to suit
+themselves.
+
+Mr. Bob Watson was the only one calm enough to enjoy a seat, and he was
+whittling away at the pine bench with such energy that a stranger might
+have concluded that whittling was his best hold. Not so, however; he
+whittled until he found a nail with the edge of his knife, and then
+varied his diversion by grasping the point of the blade between the
+thumb and first finger of his right hand, and throwing it at the left
+eye of a very flattering representation of Yankee Sullivan which graced
+the wall.
+
+By a slight miscalculation of distance and elevation, the eye was
+unharmed, but the well-developed nose was more effectually ruined than
+its original ever was by the most scientific pugilist.
+
+"Well, gentlemen, what shall we do with the prisoner?" asks Watson.
+
+"We're waiting for _you_," said a tall Ten Miler, who had been a pleased
+witness of the knife-throwing and its results.
+
+"Well, you need not," retorted Mr. Watson, as he made a fling at
+Yankee's other eye, and with very good success. "You know my sentiments,
+gentlemen. I was opposed to bringing the prisoner here. We might have
+fixed up the matter all at one time, and saved a heap of diggin'."
+
+"It--might--have--done," said the tall Miler, doubtfully; "but I
+wouldn't like to see the two together. It would spoil all my enjoyment
+of the occasion."
+
+"Bet yer ten to one ye don't swing him!" cried Watson, springing to his
+feet with sudden inspiration, and mounting the bench he had been
+whittling. "Twenty to one Jack Borlan don't choke this heat! Who takes
+me? who? who?"
+
+No one seemed disposed to take him.
+
+"Bosh! you Ten Milers are all babies. Now, if this had happened up at
+Quit Claim, Borlan would have had a beautiful tombstone over him long
+ago. What do _you_ say, Borlan?"
+
+The prisoner, thus addressed, cut short some remark he was making, and
+turned to Watson. "There have been cases where the prisoner had the
+benefit of a trial, Mr. Watson."
+
+"Which is so, Mr. Borlan. Obliged to you fur reminding me. Let's have
+one, gentlemen. I'll be prosecuting attorney, if no one objects; now,
+who'll defend the prisoner at the bar?"
+
+"I'll make a feeble attempt that way," was the reply that came from the
+doorway. All eyes turned, and recognized Tom Ruger.
+
+"This is betwixt us Ten Milers," said Watson. "Borlan is guilty, and
+we're bound to hang him before sundown; but we want to do the fair
+thing, and give him the benefit of a trial. Who of you Ten Milers will
+defend him?"
+
+"I told you _I_ would defend Mr. Borlan," said Tom Ruger, as he removed
+his silk hat and wiped his broad forehead with the finest of silk
+handkerchiefs.
+
+"I tell you we won't have any outsiders in this game," said Watson.
+
+"I really dislike to contradict you, Mr. Watson," remarked Tom Ruger, as
+he very carefully readjusted his hat. "Very sorry, Mr. Watson, and I do
+hope you'll pardon me when I repeat that I will defend Mr.
+Borlan--_with--my--life_!"
+
+This remark surprised no one more than Jack Borlan. He had never spoken
+to Mr. Ruger a dozen times in his life, and he could not account for
+such disinterestedness. However, there was not much time for conjecture,
+for Mr. Watson had taken offense.
+
+"With your death, Tom Ruger, if you interfere!" cried Watson, jumping
+down from his elevation.
+
+It did look that way; but Mr. Ruger had not strolled up and down that
+auriferous coast without acquiring some knowledge of the usual means of
+defense in that sunny clime, as well as some practice. It was quite warm
+for a moment; then Mr. Borlan, believing it to be his duty, as client,
+to aid his counsel in the defense, went in gladly.
+
+Still it was quite warm; also somewhat smoky from the powder that had
+been burned; likewise noisy. Not so noisy, however, that Mr. Borlan
+could not hear his counsel say:
+
+"Clear yourself, Borlan! My horses are down at the ford!"
+
+Mr. Borlan followed the advice of his counsel, and Mr. Ruger followed
+Mr. Borlan. The Ten Milers--some of them--followed both counsel and
+client.
+
+It was neck and heels until the horses were reached. After that the
+pursuers were left at a great disadvantage.
+
+"I'll have his heart!" ejaculated Watson. Which heart he meant we have
+no means of knowing. "Give me a horse! quick!"
+
+They brought a mule.
+
+"Wait here, every man of you!" Watson shouted back over the shaved tail
+of his substitute for a horse. "I'll bring him back, dead or alive, or
+my name ain't Watson!"
+
+And over the way the stage had stopped, and Fanny Borlan had reached Ten
+Mile Gulch at last.
+
+
+III.
+
+A little after sunrise, the next morning, Mr. Tom Ruger might have been
+seen leisurely riding along the bridle-path between the mines and the
+settlement of Ten Mile Gulch. He was headed toward the village, and was
+nine and three-quarter miles nearer to it than the mines. He had found
+another good cigar somewhere, and was humming the selfsame tune as on
+the previous afternoon; but the riderless horse was not with him.
+
+As Mr. Ruger rode into the only street in the village, his approach was
+heralded, and the Ten Milers, who were waiting for Watson's return,
+filed out of the Miners' Home, and took stations in the street.
+
+Mr. Ruger took note of this demonstration, and, with a very
+business-like air, examined the contents of his holsters. He also
+noticed that patched noses and heads, and canes and crutches, were the
+predominating features in the group of Ten Milers, with an occasional
+closed eye and a bandaged hand to vary the monotony.
+
+Miss Fanny Borlan, from her window at the Ten Mile House, also noticed
+the dilapidated looks of the frequenters of the Miners' Home, and
+wondered if they kept a hospital there. Then she saw Mr. Ruger, and
+bowed and smiled as he drew up at her window.
+
+"So you arrived all safe, Miss Borlan? How do you like the place?"
+
+"Better than the inhabitants," she answered, with a glance over the
+way. "Than those, I mean. Is it a hospital?"
+
+"For the present I believe it is."
+
+"And will be for some time to come, if they all stay till they're cured.
+But have you seen Jack?"
+
+"Yes--last evening. He was very sorry that he could not wait for you,
+but it may be as well, however. He has gone down to San Francisco, and
+he will wait for you there. The stage leaves here in about two hours,
+and I advise you to take passage in it, if you are not too much
+fatigued."
+
+"I'm not tired a bit, Mr. Kuger. I will go back. Thank you for the
+trouble you have taken."
+
+"No trouble, Miss Borlan. Give my respects to Jack, and tell him I will
+be down in a week or two. Good-morning."
+
+While talking, Mr. Ruger had about evenly divided his glances between
+the very beautiful face of Fanny Borlan and the somewhat expressive
+countenances of the Ten Milers. Not that he found anything to admire in
+their damaged physiognomies, but he never wholly ignored the presence of
+any one.
+
+"Good-morning, gentlemen," he said, as he rode up in front of them.
+
+"Not to _you_, Tom Ruger," spoke a tall Ten Miler--the only one,
+by-the-way, who had come out of the previous day's trial unscathed. "Not
+to you, Tom Ruger! Where's Borlan?"
+
+"He's gone down the coast on business," said Ruger, "and may not be back
+for several months."
+
+"We'll not wait for _him_" was the miner's reply.
+
+At the same time he drew a revolver.
+
+"You had _better_ wait," said Ruger, also producing a revolver.
+
+The Ten Miler paused, and looked around at his companions. They did not
+present a formidable array of fighting stock. In fact, they were the
+sorest-looking men that Ten Mile Gulch ever saw; and as the unscathed
+surveyed them, he seemed to think he _had_ better wait.
+
+[Illustration: "YOU HAD BETTER WAIT," SAID RUGER, ALSO PRODUCING A
+REVOLVER.]
+
+"You'll wait for Mr. Borlan?" queried Ruger.
+
+"I reckon we'd better," answered the unscathed.
+
+"And while you are waiting, you had better take a cursory glance at Mr.
+Watson," suggested Ruger. "At the present time he is reposing in the
+shade of an acacia-bush, just back of the late lamented William Foster's
+rural habitation. Good-morning, gentlemen; and don't get impatient."
+
+If Mr. Ruger had any fear of treachery, he did not exhibit it, for he
+never turned his head as he rode off toward the valley. Nor was there
+any danger; for beneath his suggestions about Mr. Watson the unscathed
+had detected a thing or two.
+
+"I'm glad we waited," he said. "I begin to see a thing or two. Them as
+is able will follow me up the Gulch."
+
+About half a score went with him. Mr. Watson was still enjoying the
+shade of the acacia-bush. In fact, he couldn't get away, which Mr. Ruger
+well knew.
+
+"It's all up with me, Gulchers," whispered Watson. "Ruger was too many
+for me, and I ought to have known it. You'll find Bill Foster's dust in
+a flour-sack, in my cabin. My respects to Borlan when you see him, and
+tell him I beg his pardon for discommoding him. Give what dust is
+honestly mine to him. It's all I can do now. Good-by, boys. I'm jest
+played out; but take my advice and never buck against Tom Ruger. He's
+too many for any dozen chaps on the coast. I knew 'twas all up with me
+the minute Tom came in, for he can look right through a feller's heart.
+But never mind! It's too late to help it now. I staked everything I had
+against Foster's pile, and I'm beat, beat, beat!"
+
+These were the last words Mr. Bob Watson ever spoke, as many a surviving
+Ten Miler will tell you, and they buried him in the spot where he died,
+without any beautiful stone to mark the place.
+
+
+IV.
+
+Miss Fanny Borlan found Jack awaiting her at San Francisco.
+
+"What made you run away?"
+
+"Why, Fanny, didn't Tom tell you about it?" queried Jack.
+
+"Tom? Oh, you mean Mr. Ruger. He only sent me down here."
+
+"Just like him, Fan; very few words he ever wastes. Ah, sister, we don't
+have such men out East."
+
+"So the stage-driver told me," said Fanny, demurely.
+
+"There, Fan, you're poking fun now. Wait till I get through. Only for
+Tom, you would have found me at Ten Mile Gulch, hanging by the neck to
+the limb of that tree just in front of the Home."
+
+"Hanging, Jack?"
+
+"Hanging, Fan--lynched for a murder I never committed. Tom came along
+just in the nick of time, and--Well, Fan, perhaps you saw some of the
+Ten Milers before you came away?"
+
+"Yes, Jack; and there was only one whole nose in the lot, and I do
+believe that was out of joint. But, oh, Jack! if they had taken your
+life!"
+
+"Never mind now, sis. Tom was too many for 'em; and here I am safe.
+We'll wait here till Tom comes down, for I've got one of his horses,
+which he thinks more of than he does of himself; then for home, sis."
+
+Mr. Tom Ruger went down, as he said he would, and remained with them
+several days. On the morning that they were to sail, Fanny said to Tom:
+
+"I wish you were going with us, Mr. Ruger. We shall miss you very much.
+Won't you go?"
+
+Mr. Ruger was talking with Jack at the time, but he heard Fanny--he
+always heard what _she_ said.
+
+He did not reply at once, however, but said to Jack, in a low tone:
+
+"Jack, you know what I _have_ been--can I ever become worthy of her?"
+
+And Jack answered, promptly:
+
+"God bless you, Tom, you are worthy now!"
+
+"Thank you, Jack--if you believe!"
+
+Then he went over to Fanny.
+
+"I will go," was all he said.
+
+It was a great wonder to both Jack and his sister how Tom could have got
+ready for the journey on so short a notice; but one day, more than a
+year afterward, Tom said to Jack:
+
+"Old friend, I'm not what I was, I hope. Ever since I first saw Fanny on
+the road to Ten Mile Gulch, I have tried to live differently. I hope I
+am better, for she said last night that she would take me for better or
+worse."
+
+And Jack wondered no more.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+CAPTAIN SAM'S CHANGE.
+
+
+"Well, there's nothin' to do, but to hev faith, an' keep a-tryin'."
+
+The speaker was old Mrs. Simmons, boarding-house keeper, and resident of
+a certain town on the Ohio River. The prime cause of her remark was
+Captain Sam Toppie, of the steamboat Queen Ann.
+
+Captain Sam had stopped with Mrs. Simmons every time the Queen Ann laid
+up for repairs, and he was so genial, frank and manly, that he had found
+a warm spot in the good old lady's heart.
+
+But one thing marred the otherwise perfect happiness of Mrs. Simmons
+when in Captain Sam's society, and that was what she styled his "lost
+condition." For Mrs. Simmons was a consistent, conscientious Methodist,
+while Captain Sam was--well, he was a Western steamboat captain.
+
+This useful class of gentlemen are in high repute among shippers and
+barkeepers, and receive many handsome compliments from the daily papers
+along the line of the Western rivers; but, somehow, the religious Press
+is entirely silent about them, nor have we ever seen of any special
+mission having been sent to them.
+
+Captain Sam was a good specimen of the fraternity--good-looking,
+good-natured, quick-witted, prompt, and faithful, as well as
+quick-tempered, profane, and perpetually thirsty. To carry a full load,
+put his boat through in time, and always drink up to his peg, were his
+cardinal principles, and he faithfully lived up to them.
+
+Of the fair sex he was a most devoted admirer, and if he had not
+possessed a great deal of modesty, for a steamboat captain, he could
+have named two or three score of young women who thought almost as much
+of him as the worthy boarding-house keeper did.
+
+Good Mrs. Simmons had, to use her own language, "kerried him before the
+Lord, and wrastled for him;" but it was very evident, from Sam's walk
+and conversation, that his case had not yet been adjudicated according
+to Mrs. Simmons's liking.
+
+He still had occasional difficulties with the hat-stand and stairway
+after coming home late at night; his breath, though generally odorous,
+seemed to grieve Mrs. Simmons's olfactories, and his conversation, as
+heard through his open door in Summer, was thickly seasoned with
+expressions far more Scriptural than reverential.
+
+One Christmas, the old lady presented to the captain a handsome Bible,
+with his name stamped in large gilt letters on the cover. He was so
+delighted and so proud of his present, that he straightway wrapped it in
+many folds of paper to prevent its being soiled, and then stowed it
+neatly away in the Queen Ann's safe, for secure keeping.
+
+When he told Mrs. Simmons what he had done, she sighed deeply; but fully
+alive to the importance of the case, promised him a common one, not too
+good to read daily.
+
+"Daily! Bless you, Mrs. Simmons! Why, I hardly have time to look in the
+paper, and see who's gone up, and who's gone down, and who's been beat."
+
+"But your better part, cap'en?" pleaded the old lady.
+
+"I--I don't know, my good woman--hard to find it, I guess--the hull lot
+averages purty low."
+
+"But, cap'en," she continued, "don't you feel your need of a change?"
+
+"Not from the Queen Ann, ma'am--she only needs bigger engines--"
+
+"Change of heart, I mean, cap'en," interrupted Mrs. Simmons. "Don't you
+feel your need of religion?"
+
+"Ha! ha!" roared Captain Sam; "the idea of a steamboat captain with
+religion! Why, bless your dear, innocent, old soul, the fust time he
+wanted to wood up in a hurry, his religion would git, quicker'n
+lightnin'. The only steamboatman I ever knowed in the meetin'-house line
+went up for seven year for settin' fire to his own boat to git the
+insurance."
+
+Mrs. Simmons could not recall at the moment the remembrance of any pious
+captain, so she ceased laboring with Captain Sam. But when he went out,
+she placed on his table a tract, entitled "The Furnace Seven Times
+Heated," which tract the captain considerately handed to his engineer,
+supposing it to be a circular on intensified caloric.
+
+Year after year the captain laid up for repairs, and put up with Mrs.
+Simmons. Year after year he was jolly, genial, chivalrous, generous,
+but--not what good Mrs. Simmons earnestly wanted him to be.
+
+He would buy tickets to all the church fairs, give free passages to all
+preachers recommended by Mrs. Simmons, and on Sunday morning he would
+respectfully escort the old lady as far as the church-door.
+
+On one occasion, when Mrs. Simmons's church building was struck by
+lightning, a deacon dropped in with a subscription-paper, while the
+captain was in. The generous steamboatman immediately put himself down
+for fifty dollars; and although he improved the occasion to condemn
+severely the meanness of certain holy people, and though his language
+seemed to create an atmosphere which must certainly melt the money--for
+those were specie days--Mrs. Simmons declared to herself that "he
+couldn't be fur from the kingdom when his heart was so little set on
+Mammon as that."
+
+"He's too good for Satan--the Lord _must_ hev him," thought the good old
+lady.
+
+Once again the Queen Ann needed repairing, and again the captain found
+himself at his old boarding-place.
+
+Good Mrs. Simmons surveyed him tenderly through her glasses, and
+instantly saw there had something unusual happened. Could it be--oh! if
+it only _could_ be--that he had put off the old man, which is sin! She
+longed to ask him, yet, with a woman's natural delicacy, she determined
+to find out without direct questioning.
+
+"Good season, cap'en?" she inquired.
+
+"A No. 1, ma'am--positively first-class," replied the captain.
+
+"Hed good health--no ager?" she continued.
+
+"Never was better, my dear woman--healthy right to the top notch," he
+answered.
+
+"It must be," said good Mrs. Simmons, to herself--"it can't be nothin'
+else. Bless the Lord!"
+
+This pious sentiment she followed up by a hymn, whose irregularities of
+time and tune were fully atoned for by the spirit with which she sung. A
+knock at the door interrupted her.
+
+"Come in!" she cried.
+
+Captain Sam entered, and laid a good-sized, flat flask on the table,
+saying:
+
+"I've just been unpackin', an' I found this; p'r'aps you ken use it fur
+cookin'. It's no use to me; I've sworn off drinkin'."
+
+And before the astonished lady could say a word, he was gone.
+
+But the good soul could endure the suspense no longer. She hurried to
+the door, and cried:
+
+"Cap'en!"
+
+"That's me," answered Captain Sam, returning.
+
+"Cap'en," said Mrs. Simmons, in a voice in which solemnity and
+excitement struggled for the mastery, "hez the Lord sent His angel unto
+you?"
+
+"He hez," replied the captain, in a very decided tone, and abruptly
+turned, and hurried to his own room.
+
+"Bless the Lord, O my soul!" almost shouted Mrs. Simmons, in her
+ecstacy. "We musn't worry them that's weak in the faith, but I sha'n't
+be satisfied till I hear him tell his experience. Oh, _what_ a blessed
+thing to relate at prayer-meetin' to-night!"
+
+There was, indeed, a rattling of dry bones at the prayer-meeting that
+night, for it was the first time in the history of the church that the
+conversion of a steamboat captain had been reported.
+
+On returning home from the meeting, additional proof awaited the happy
+old saint. The captain was in his room--in his room at nine o'clock in
+the evening! She had known the captain for years, but he had never
+before got in so early. There could be no doubt about it, though--there
+he was, softly whistling.
+
+"I'd rather hear him whistlin' Windham or Boylston," thought Mrs.
+Simmons; "that tune don't fit any hymn _I_ know. P'r'aps, though, they
+sing it in some of them churches up to Cincinnaty," she charitably
+continued.
+
+"Cap'en," said she, at breakfast, next morning, when the other guests
+had departed, "is your mind at peace?"
+
+"Peace?" echoed the captain--"peaceful as the Ohio at low water."
+
+The captain's simile was not so Scriptural as the old lady could have
+desired, but she remembered that he was but a young convert, and that
+holy conversation was a matter of gradual attainment. So, simply and
+piously making the best of it, she fervently exclaimed:
+
+"That it may ever be thus is my earnest prayer, cap'en."
+
+"Amen to that," said Captain Sam, very heartily, upsetting the chair in
+his haste to get out of the room.
+
+For several days Mrs. Simmons lived in a state of bliss unknown to
+boarding-house keepers, whose joys come only from a sense of provisions
+purchased cheaply and paying boarders secured.
+
+From the kitchen, the dining-room, or wherever she was, issued sounds of
+praise and devotion, intoned to some familiar church melody. Scrubbing
+the kitchen-floor dampened not her ardor, and even the fateful
+washing-day produced no visible effects on her spirits. From over the
+bread-pan she sent exultant strains to echo through the house, and her
+fists vigorously marked time in the yielding dough. From the third-story
+window, as she hung out the bed-linen to air, her holy notes fell on the
+ears of passing teamsters, and caused them to cast wondering glances
+upward. What was the heat of the kitchen-stove to her, now that Captain
+Sam was insured against flames eternal? What, now, was even money, since
+Captain Sam had laid up his treasures above?
+
+And the captain's presence, which had always comforted her, was now a
+perpetual blessing. Always pleasant, kind, and courteous, as of old, but
+oh, so different!
+
+All the coal-scuttles and water-pails in the house might occupy the
+stairway at night, but the captain could safely thread his way among
+them.
+
+No longer did she hurry past his door, with her fingers ready, at the
+slightest alarm, to act as compressors to her ears; no, the captain's
+language, though not exactly religious, was eminently proper.
+
+He was at home so much evenings, that his lamp consumed more oil in a
+week than it used to in months; but the old lady cheerfully refilled it,
+and complained not that the captain's goodness was costly.
+
+The captain brought home a book or two daily, and left them in his room,
+seeing which, his self-denying hostess carried up the two flights of
+stairs her own copies of "Clarke's Commentaries," "The Saints' Best,"
+"Joy's Exercises," and "Morning and Night Watches," and arranged them
+neatly on his table.
+
+Finally, after a few days, Captain Sam seemed to have something to
+say--something which his usual power of speech was scarcely equal to.
+Mrs. Simmons gave him every opportunity.
+
+At last, when he ejaculated, "Mrs. Simmons," just as she was carrying
+her beloved glass preserve-dish to its place in the parlor-closet, she
+was so excited that she dropped the brittle treasure, and uttered not a
+moan over the fragments.
+
+"Mrs. Simmons, I've made up my mind to lead an entirely new life," said
+the captain, gravely.
+
+"It's what I've been hopin' fur years an' years, cap'en," responded the
+happy old lady.
+
+"Hev you, though? God bless your motherly old soul," said the captain,
+warmly. "Well, I've turned over a new leaf, and it don't git turned back
+again."
+
+"That's right," said Mrs. Simmons, with a happy tear under each
+spectacle-glass. "Fight the good fight, cap'en."
+
+"Just my little game," continued the captain. "'Tain't ev'ry day that a
+man ken find an angel willin' to look out fur him, Mrs. Simmons."
+
+"An angel! Oh, cap'en, how richly blessed you hev been!" sobbed Mrs.
+Simmons. "Many's the one that hez prayed all their lives long for the
+comin' of a good sperrit to guide 'em."
+
+"Well, _I've_ got one, sure pop," continued Captain Sam; "and happy
+ain't any kind of a name fur what I be all the time now."
+
+"Bless you!" said the good woman, wringing the captain's hand fervidly.
+"But you'll hev times of trouble an' doubt, off an' on."
+
+"Is that so?" asked the captain, thoughtfully.
+
+"Yes," continued Mrs. Simmons; "but don't be afeard; ev'ry thing'll come
+right in the end. I know--I've been through it all."
+
+"That's so," said the captain, "you hev that. Well, now, would you mind
+interdoosin' me to your minister?"
+
+"Mind!" said the good old lady. "I've been a-dyin' to do it ever since
+you come. I've told him about it, and he's ez glad fur you ez I am."
+
+"Oh!" said the captain, looking a little confused, "you suspected it,
+did you?"
+
+"From the very minute you fust kem," replied Mrs. Simmons; "I know the
+signs."
+
+"Well," said the captain, "might ez well see him fust as last then, I
+reckon."
+
+"I'll get ready right away," said Mrs. Simmons. And away she hurried,
+leaving the captain greatly puzzled.
+
+The old lady put on her newest bombazine dress--all this happened ten
+years ago, ladies--and a hat to match.
+
+Never before had these articles of dress been seen by the irreligious
+light of a weekday; the day seemed fully as holy as an ordinary Sabbath.
+
+They attracted considerable attention, in their good clothes and solemn
+faces, and finally, as they stood on the parson's doorstep, two of the
+captain's own deckhands saw him, and straightway drank themselves into a
+state of beastly intoxication in trying to decide what the captain could
+want of a preacher.
+
+The minister entered, cordially greeted Mrs. Simmons, and expressed his
+pleasure at forming the captain's acquaintance.
+
+"Parson," said the captain, in trembling accents--"don't go away, Mrs.
+Simmons--parson, my good friend here tells me you know all about my
+case; now the question is, how soon can you do the business?"
+
+The reverend gentleman shivered a little at hearing the word "business"
+applied to holy things, but replied, in excellent temper:
+
+"The next opportunity will occur on the first Sabbath of the coming
+month, and I shall be truly delighted to gather into our fold one whose
+many worthy qualities have been made known to us by our dearly beloved
+sister Simmons. And let me further remind you that there is joy in
+heaven over one sinner that repenteth, and that therefore--"
+
+"Just so, parson," interrupted the captain, wincing a little, and
+looking exceedingly puzzled--"just so; but ain't thar no day but Sunday
+for a man to be married--"
+
+"Married!" ejaculated the minister, looking inquiringly at Mrs. Simmons.
+
+"Married!" screamed the old lady, staring wildly at the
+captain--"married! Oh, what shall I do? I thought you'd experienced a
+change! And I've told everybody about it!"
+
+The captain burst into a laugh, which made the minister's chandeliers
+rattle, and the holy man himself, seeing through the mistake, heartily
+joined the captain.
+
+But poor Mrs. Simmons burst into an agony of tears.
+
+"My dear, good old friend," said the captain, tenderly putting his arm
+about her, "I'm very sorry you have been disappointed; but one thing at
+a time, you know. When you see my angel, you'll think I'm in a fair way
+to be an angel myself some day, I guess. Annie's her name--Annie
+May--an' I've named the boat after her. Don't take on so, an' I'll show
+you the old boat, new painted, an' the name Annie May stuck on wherever
+there's a chance."
+
+But the good old woman only wrung her hands, and exclaimed:
+
+"Thar's a lovely experience completely spiled--completely spiled!"
+
+At length she was quieted and escorted home, and a few days afterward
+appeared, in smiles and the new bombazine, at the captain's wedding.
+
+The bride, a motherless girl, speedily adopted Mrs. Simmons as mother,
+and made many happy hours for the old lady; but that venerable and pious
+person is frequently heard to say to herself, in periods of
+thoughtfulness:
+
+"A lovely experience completely spiled!"
+
+[Illustration: THE CAPTAIN BURST INTO A LAUGH, WHICH MADE THE
+MINISTER'S CHANDELIERS RATTLE.]
+
+
+
+
+MISS FEWNE'S LAST CONQUEST.
+
+
+How many conquests Mabel Fewne had made since she had entered society no
+one was able to tell. Perhaps the conqueror herself kept some record of
+the havoc she had worked, but if she did, no one but herself ever saw
+it. Even such of her rivals as were envious admitted that Miss Fewne's
+victims could be counted by dozens, while the men who came under the
+influence of that charming young lady were wont to compute their
+fellow-sufferers by the hundred. It mattered not where Miss Fewne spent
+her time: whether she enjoyed the season in New York or Washington,
+Baltimore or Boston, she found that climatic surroundings did not in the
+least change the conduct of men toward her. In what her attractions
+especially consisted, her critics and admirers were not all agreed.
+Palette, the artist, who was among her earliest victims, said she was
+the embodiment of all ideal harmonies; while old Coupon, who at sixty
+offered her himself and his property, declared in confidence to another
+unfortunate that what took him was her solid sense. At least one young
+man, who thought himself a poet, fell in love with her for what he
+called the golden foam of her hair; a theological student went into
+pious ecstasy (and subsequent dejection) over the spiritual light of her
+eyes. The habitual pose of her pretty fingers accounted for the awkward
+attentions of at least a score of young men, and the piquancy of her
+manner attracted, to their certain detriment, all the professional beaus
+who met her. And yet, a clear-headed literary Bostonian declared that
+she was better read than some of his distinguished _confreres_; while a
+member of Congress excused himself for monopolizing her for an entire
+half-hour, at an evening party, by saying that Miss Fewne talked
+politics so sensibly, that for the first time in his life he had learned
+how much he himself knew. As for the ladies, some said any one could get
+as much admiration as Mabel Fewne if they could dress as expensively;
+others said she was so skillful a flirt that no man could see through
+her wily ways; two or three inclined to the theory of personal
+magnetism; while a few brave women said that Mabel was so pretty and
+tasteful, and modest and sensible and sweet, that men would be idiots if
+they didn't fall in love with her at sight.
+
+But one season came in which those who envied and feared Mabel were left
+in peace, for that young lady determined to spend the Winter with her
+sister, who was the wife of a military officer stationed at Smithton, in
+the Far West. Smithton was a small town, but a pleasant one; it had a
+railroad and mines; a government land office was established there, as
+was the State Government also; trading was incessant, money was plenty,
+so men of wit and culture came there to pay their respects to the
+almighty dollar; and as there were nearly two-score of refined ladies in
+the town, society was delightful to the fullest extent of its existence.
+And Mabel Fewne enjoyed it intensely; the change of air and of scene
+gave stimulus to her spirits and new grace to her form and features, so
+that she soon had at her feet all the unmarried men in Smithton, while
+many sober Benedicts admired as much as they could safely do without
+transferring their allegiance.
+
+Smithton was not inhabited exclusively by people of energy and culture.
+New settlements, like all other things new, powerfully attract
+incapables, and Smithton was no excuse to the rule. In one portion of
+it, yclept "the End," were gathered many characters more odd than
+interesting. Their local habitations seemed to be the liquor-shops which
+fairly filled that portion of the town. About the doors of these shops
+the "Enders" were most frequently seen. If one of them chanced to stray
+into the business street of the town, he seemed as greatly confused and
+troubled as a lost boy. In his own quarter, however, and among his own
+kind, the Ender displayed a composure which was simply superb. No one
+could pass through the End by daylight without seeing many of the
+inhabitants thereof leaning against fences, trees, buildings, and such
+other objects as could sustain without assistance the weight of the
+human frame. From these points of support the Enders would contemplate
+whatever was transpiring about them, with that immobility of countenance
+which characterizes the finished tourist and the North American Indian.
+There were occasions when these self-possessed beings assumed erect
+positions and manifested ordinary human interest. One of these was the
+breaking out of a fight between either men or animals; another was the
+passing of a lady of either handsome face or showy dress. So it happened
+that, when pretty, well-dressed Mabel Fewne was enjoying a drive with
+one of her admirers, there was quite a stir among such Enders as chanced
+to see her. The venders of the beverages for which the Enders spent most
+of their money noticed that, upon that particular afternoon, an unusual
+proportion of their customers stood at the bar with no assistance from
+the bar itself, that some spirit was manifest in their walk and
+conversation, and yet they were less than usual inclined to be
+quarrelsome. So great was the excitement caused by Miss Fewne's
+appearance, that one Ender was heard to ask another who she was--an
+exhibition of curiosity very unusual in that part of the town. Even
+more: One member of that apparently hopeless gang was known to wash his
+face and hands, purchase a suit of cheap--but new and clean--clothing,
+and take an eastern-bound train, presumably to appear among respectable
+people he had known during some earlier period of his existence.
+
+On the evening of the next day a delightful little party was enjoyed by
+the well-to-do inhabitants of Smithton. New as was the town, the
+parlors of Mrs. General Wader (her husband was something for the railway
+company) were handsomely furnished, the ladies were elaborately dressed,
+the gentlemen lacked not one of the funereal garments which men
+elsewhere wear to evening parties, and stupid people were noticeably
+rarer than, in similar social gatherings, in older communities. Mabel
+Fewne was there, and as human nature is the same at Smithton as in the
+East, she was the belle of the evening. She entered the room on the arm
+of her brother-in-law, and that warrior's height, breadth, bronzed
+countenance and severe uniform, made all the more striking the figure
+which, clad apparently in a pale blue cloud, edged with silver and
+crowned with gold, floated beside him. Men crowded about her at once,
+and the other ladies present had almost undisturbed opportunity in which
+to converse with each other.
+
+At the End there was likewise a social gathering. The place was Drake's
+saloon, and the guests were self-invited. Their toilets, though unusual,
+scarcely require description, and a list of their diversions would not
+interest people of taste Refreshments were as plentiful as at Mrs.
+Wader's, and, after the manner of refreshments everywhere, they caused a
+general unbending of spirits. Not all the effects were pleasing to
+contemplate. One of them was a pistol-shot, which, missing the man for
+whom it was intended, struck a person called Baggs, and remarkable only
+for general worthlessness. Baggs had a physical system of the
+conventional type, however, and the bullet caused some disarrangement so
+radical in its nature, that Baggs was soon stretched upon the floor of
+the saloon, with a face much whiter than he usually wore. The barkeeper
+poured out a glass of brandy, and passed it over the bar, but the
+wounded man declined it; he also rejected a box of pills which was
+proffered. An Ender, who claimed to have been a physician, stooped over
+the victim, felt his pulse, and remarked:
+
+"Baggs, you're a goner."
+
+"I know it," said Baggs; "and I want to be prayed for."
+
+The barkeeper looked puzzled. He was a public-spirited man, whose heart
+and pocket were open to people in real trouble, but for prayers he had
+never been asked before, and, was entirely destitute of them. He felt
+relieved when one of his customers--a leaden-visaged man, with bulbous
+nose and a bad temper--advanced toward the wounded man, raised one hand,
+threw his head back a trifle, and exclaimed:
+
+"Once in grace, always in grace. I've _been_ there, I know. Let us
+pray."
+
+The victim waived his hand impatiently, and faintly exclaimed:
+
+"_You_ won't do; somebody that's better acquainted with God than _you_
+are must do it."
+
+"But, Baggs," reasoned the barkeeper, "perhaps he's been a
+preacher--you'd better not throw away a chance."
+
+"Don't care if he has," whispered Baggs; "he don't look like any of the
+prayin' people mother used to know."
+
+The would-be petitioner took his rebuff considerably to heart, and
+began, in a low and rapid voice, an argument with himself upon the
+duration of the state of grace. The Enders listened but indifferently,
+however; the dying man was more interesting to them than living
+questions, for he had no capacity for annoyance. The barkeeper scratched
+his head and pinched his brow, but, gaining no idea thereby, he asked:
+
+"Do _you_ know the right man, Baggs?"
+
+"Not here, I don't," gasped the sufferer; "not the right _man_."
+
+The emphasis on the last word was not unheeded by the bystanders; they
+looked at each other with as much astonishment as Enders were capable of
+displaying, and thrust their hands deep into the pockets of their
+pantaloons, in token of their inability to handle the case. Baggs spoke
+again.
+
+"I wish mother was here!" he said. "_She'd_ know just to say and how to
+say it."
+
+"She's too far away; leastways, I suppose she is," said the barkeeper.
+
+"I know it," whispered the wounded man; "an' yet a woman--"
+
+Baggs looked inquiringly, appealingly about him, but seemed unable to
+finish his sentence. His glance finally rested upon Brownie, a man as
+characteristic as himself, but at times displaying rather more heart
+than was common among Enders. Brownie obeyed the summons, and stooped
+beside Baggs. The bystanders noticed that there followed some
+whispering, at times shame-faced, and then in the agony of earnestness
+on the part of Baggs, and replied to by Brownie with averted face and
+eyes gazing into nowhere.
+
+Finally Brownie arose with an un-Ender-like decision, and left the
+saloon. No one else said much, but there seemed to circulate an
+impression that Baggs was consuming more time than was customary at the
+End.
+
+Very different was the scene in Mrs. Wader's parlor; instead of a dying
+man surrounded by uncouth beings, there stood a beautiful woman, radiant
+with health and animation; while about her stood a throng of
+well-dressed gentlemen, some of them handsome, all of them smart, and
+each one craving a smile, a word, or a look. Suddenly the pompous voice
+of General Wader arose:
+
+"Most astonishing thing I ever heard of," said he. "An Ender has the
+impudence to ask to see Miss Fewne!"
+
+"An Ender?" exclaimed the lady, her pretty lips parting with surprise.
+
+"Yes, and he declares you could not have the heart to say no, if you
+knew his story."
+
+"Is it possible, Miss Fewne," asked one admirer, "that your cruelty can
+have driven any one to have become an Ender?"
+
+Mabel's eyes seemed to glance inward, and she made no reply. She
+honestly believed she had never knowingly encouraged a man to become her
+victim; yet she had heard of men doing very silly things when they
+thought themselves disappointed in love. She cast a look of timid
+inquiry at her host.
+
+"Oh, perfectly safe, if you like," said the general. "The fellow is at
+the door, and several of our guests are in the hall."
+
+Miss Fewne looked serious, and hurried to the door. She saw a man in
+shabby clothing and with unkempt beard and hair, yet with a not
+unpleasing expression.
+
+"Madame," said he, "I'm a loafer, but I've been a gentleman, and I know
+better than to intrude without a good cause. The cause is a dying man.
+He's as rough and worthless as I am, but all the roughness has gone out
+of him, just now, and he's thinking about his mother and a sweetheart he
+used to have. He wants some one to pray for him--some one as unlike
+himself and his associates as possible. He cried for his mother--then he
+whispered to me that he had seen, here in Smithton, a lady that looked
+like an angel--seen her driving only to-day. He meant you. He isn't
+pretty; but, when a _dying_ man says a lady is an angel, he means what
+he says."
+
+Two or three moments later Miss Fewne, with a very pale face, and with
+her brother-in-law as escort, was following Brownie. The door of the
+saloon was thrown open, and when the Enders saw who was following
+Brownie they cowered and fell back as if a sheriff with his _posse_ had
+appeared. The lady looked quickly about her, until her eye rested upon
+the figure of the wounded man; him she approached, and as she looked
+down her lip began to tremble.
+
+"I didn't mean it," whispered Baggs, self-depreciation and pain striving
+for the possession of his face. "If I hadn't have been a-goin', I
+shouldn't have thought of such a thing, but dyin' takes away one's
+reg'lar senses. It's not my fault, ma'am, but when I thought about what
+mother used to say about heaven, _you_ came into my mind. I felt as if I
+was insultin' you just by thinkin' about you--a feller such as me to be
+thinking about such a lady. I tried to see mother an' Liz, my
+sweetheart that was, just as I've seen 'em when my eyes was shut, but I
+couldn't see nothin' but you, the way you looked goin' along that road
+and makin' the End look bright. I'd shoot myself for the imperdence of
+the thing if I was goin' to get well again, but I ain't. Ther needs to
+be a word said for me by somebody--somebody that don't chaw, nor drink,
+nor swear--somebody that'll catch God's eye if He happens to be lookin'
+down--and I never saw that kind of a person in Smithton till to-day."
+
+Mabel stood speechless, with a tear in each eye.
+
+"Don't, if you don't think best," continued Baggs. "I'd rather go to--to
+t'other place than bother a lady. Don't speak a word, if you don't want
+to; but mebbe you'll _think_ the least thing? God _can't_ refuse _you_.
+But if you think t'other place is best for me, all right."
+
+The fright, the sense of strangeness, were slowly departing from Mabel,
+and as she recovered herself her heart seemed to come into her face and
+eyes.
+
+"Ev'rybody about here is rough, or dirty, or mean, or rich, or proud, or
+somethin'," continued the dying man, in a thin yet earnest voice. "It's
+all as good as I deserve; but my heart's ached sometimes to look at
+somebody that would keep me from b'leevin' that ev'rything was black an'
+awful. And I've seen her. Can I just touch my finger to your dress? I've
+heard mother read how that somebody in the Old Country was once made all
+right by just touchin' the clothes Christ had on."
+
+In his earnestness, the wretched man had raised himself upon one elbow,
+and out of his face had departed every expression but one of pitiful
+pleading. Still Mabel could not speak; but, bending slightly forward,
+she extended one of her slender, dainty hands toward the one which Baggs
+had raised in his appeal.
+
+"White--shining--good--all right," he murmured. Then all of Baggs which
+fell back upon the floor was clay.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+With the prudence of a conqueror, who knows when the full extent of his
+powers has been reached, Mabel Fewne married within six months. The
+happy man was not a new conquest, but an old victim, who was willfully
+pardoned with such skill, that he never doubted that his acceptance to
+favor was the result of the renewal of his homage.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+MARKSON'S HOUSE.
+
+
+Raines is my name--Joseph Raines. I am a house-builder by profession,
+and as I do not often see my writings in print, except as prepaid
+advertisements, I consider this a good opportunity to say to the public
+in general that I can build as good a house for a given sum of money as
+any other builder, and that I am a square man to deal with. I am aware
+of the fact that both of these assertions have been made by many other
+persons about themselves; but to prove their trustworthiness when
+uttered by me, the public needs only to give me a trial. (In justice to
+other builders, I must admit they can use even this last statement of
+mine with perfect safety for the present, and with prospective profit if
+they get a contract to build a house.)
+
+I suppose it will be considered very presumptuous in me to attempt to
+write a story, for, while some professions seem relatives of literature,
+I freely admit that there is no carpenter's tool which prepares one to
+handle a pen. To be sure, I have read some stories which, it seemed to
+me, could have been improved by the judicious use of a handsaw, had that
+extremely radical tool been able to work aesthetically as it does
+practically; and while I have read certain other stories, and essays,
+and poems, I have been tormented by an intense desire to apply to them a
+smoothing-plane, a pair of compasses, or a square, or even to so far
+interfere with their arrangement as to cut a window-hole or two, and an
+occasional ventilator. Still, admitting that the carpenter should stick
+to his bench--or to his office or carriage, if he is a master builder,
+as I am--I must yet insist that there are occasions when a man is
+absolutely compelled to handle tools to which he is not accustomed.
+Doctor Buzzle, my own revered pastor, established this principle firmly
+in my mind one day by means of a mild rebuke, administered on the
+occasion of my volunteering to repair some old chairs which had come
+down to him through several generations. The doctor was at work upon
+them himself, and although he seemed to regard the very chips and
+sawdust--even such as found a way into his eyes--with a reverent
+affection, he was certainly ruining good material in a shocking manner.
+But when I proffered my assistance, he replied:
+
+"Thank you, Joseph; but--they wouldn't be the same chairs if any one
+else touched them."
+
+I feel similarly about the matter of my story--perhaps you will
+understand why as you read it.
+
+When I had finished my apprenticeship, people seemed to like me, and
+some of our principal men advised me to stay at Bartley, my native
+village--it was so near the city, they said, and would soon fill up with
+city people, who would want villas and cottages built. So I staid, and
+between small jobs of repairing, and contracts to build fences, stables
+and carriage-houses, I managed to keep myself busy, and to save a little
+money after I had paid my bills.
+
+One day it was understood that a gentleman from the city had bought a
+villa site overlooking the town, and intended to build very soon. I
+immediately wrote him a note, saying I would be glad to see his plans
+and make an estimate; and in the course of time the plans were sent me,
+and I am happy to say that I under-estimated every one, even my own old
+employer.
+
+Then the gentleman--Markson his name was--drove out to see me, and he
+put me through a severe course of questions, until I wondered if he was
+not some distinguished architect. But he wasn't--he was a
+shipping-merchant. It's certainly astonishing how smart some of those
+city fellows are about everything.
+
+The upshot was, he gave me the contract, and a very pretty one it was:
+ten thousand three hundred and forty dollars. To be sure, he made me
+alter the specifications so that the sills should be of stuff ten inches
+square, instead of the thin stuff we usually use for the sills of
+balloon-frame houses, such as his was to be; and though the alteration
+would add quite a few dollars to the cost of materials, I did not dare
+to add a cent to my estimate, for fear of losing the contract.
+Besides--though, of course, I did not intend to do so dishonorable a
+thing--I knew that I could easily make up the difference by using cheap
+paint instead of good English lead for priming, or in either one of a
+dozen other ways; builders have such tricks, just as ministers and
+manufacturers and railroadmen do.
+
+I felt considerably stuck up at getting Markson's house to build, and my
+friends said I had a perfect right to feel so, for no house so costly
+had been built at Bartley for several years.
+
+So anxious were my friends that I should make a first-class job of it,
+that they all dropped in to discuss the plan with me, and to give me
+some advice, until--thanks to their thoughtful kindness--my head would
+have been in a muddle had the contemplated structure been a cheap barn
+instead of a costly villa.
+
+But, by a careful review of the original plan every night after my
+friends departed, and a thoughtful study of it each morning before going
+to work, I succeeded in completing it according to the ideas of the only
+two persons really concerned--I refer to Mr. Markson and myself.
+
+Admitting in advance that there is in the house-building business very
+little that teaches a man to be a literary critic, I must nevertheless
+say that many poets of ancient and modern times might have found the
+building of a house a far more inspiring theme than some upon which they
+have written, and even a more respectable one than certain others which
+some distinguished rhymers have unfortunately selected.
+
+I have always wondered why, after Mr. Longfellow wrote "The Building of
+a Ship," some one did not exercise his muse upon a house. I never
+attempted poetry myself, except upon my first baby, and even _those_
+verses I transcribed with my left hand, so they might not betray me to
+the editor of the Bartley _Conservator_, to whom I sent them, and by
+whom they were published.
+
+I say I never attempted poetry-writing save once; but sometimes when I
+am working on a house, and think of all that must transpire within
+it--of the precious ones who will escape, no matter how strongly I build
+the walls; of the destroyer who will get in, in spite of the improved
+locks I put on all my houses; of the darkness which cannot at times be
+dispelled, no matter how large the windows, nor how perfect the glass
+may be (I am very particular about the glass I put in); of the
+occasional joys which seem meet for heavenly mansions not built by
+contract; of the unseen heroisms greater than any that men have ever
+cheered, and the conquests in comparison with which the achievements of
+mighty kings are only as splintery hemlock to Georgia pine--when I think
+of all this, I am so lifted above all that is prosaic and
+matter-of-fact, that I am likely even to forget that I am working by
+contract instead of by the day.
+
+Besides, Markson's house was my first job on a residence, and it was a
+large one, and I was young, and full of what I fancied were original
+ideas of taste and effect; and as I was unmarried, and without any
+special lady friend, I was completely absorbed in Markson's house.
+
+How it would look when it was finished; what views it would command;
+whether its architectural style was not rather subdued, considering the
+picturesque old hemlocks which stood near by; what particular shade of
+color would be effective alike to the distant observer and to those who
+stood close by when the light reached it only through the green of the
+hemlock; just what color and blending of slate to select, so the
+steep-pitched roof should not impart a sombre effect to the whole house;
+how much money I would make on it (for this is a matter of utter
+uncertainty until your work is done, and you know what you've paid out
+and what you get); whether Markson could influence his friends in my
+favor; what sort of a family he had, and whether they were worthy of the
+extra pains I was taking on their house--these and a thousand other
+wonderings and reveries kept possession of my mind; while the natural
+pride and hope and confidence of a young man turned to sweet music the
+sound of saw and hammer and trowel, and even translated the rustling of
+pine shavings with hopeful whispers.
+
+The foundations had been laid, and the sills placed in position, and I
+was expecting to go on with the work as soon as Markson himself had
+inspected the sills--this, he said, he wished to do before anything
+further was done; and, so that he might not have any fault to find with
+them, I had them sawn to order, and made half an inch larger each way,
+so they couldn't possibly shrink before he could measure them.
+
+The night before he was to come up and examine them, I was struck at the
+supper-table by the idea that perhaps, from one of the western
+chamber-windows, there might be seen the river which lay, between the
+hills, a couple of miles beyond. As the moon was up and full, I could
+not rest until I had ascertained whether I was right or wrong; so I put
+a twenty-foot tapeline in my pocket, and hurried off to the hill where
+the house was to stand.
+
+Foundation three feet, height of parlor ceilings twelve feet, allow for
+floors two feet more, made the chamber-floor seventeen feet above the
+level of the ground.
+
+Climbing one of the hemlocks which I thought must be in line with the
+river and the window, I dropped my line until I had unrolled seventeen
+feet, and then ascended until the end of the line just touched the
+ground. I found I was right in my supposition; and in the clear, mellow
+light of the moon the river, the hills and valleys, woods, fields,
+orchards, houses and rocks (the latter ugly enough by daylight, and
+utterly useless for building purposes) made a picture which set me
+thinking of a great many exquisite things entirely out of the
+housebuilding line.
+
+I might have stared till the moon went down, for when I've nothing else
+to do I dearly enjoy dreaming with my eyes open; but I heard a rustling
+in the leaves a little way off, and then I heard footsteps, and then,
+looking downward, I saw a man come up the path, and stop under the tree
+in which I was.
+
+Of course I wondered what he wanted; I should have done so, even if I
+had had no business there myself; but under the circumstances, I became
+very much excited.
+
+Who could it be? Perhaps some rival builder, come to take revenge by
+setting my lumber afire! I would go down and reason with him. But, wait
+a moment; if he _has_ come for that purpose, he may make things
+uncomfortable for me before I reach the ground. And if he sets the
+lumber afire, and it catches the tree I am in, as it will certainly do,
+I will be--
+
+There is no knowing what sort of a quandary I might not have got into if
+the man had not stepped out into the moonlight, and up on the sills, and
+shown himself to be--Mr. Markson.
+
+"Well," I thought, "you _are_ the most particular man I ever knew--and
+the most anxious! I don't know, though--it's natural enough; if _I_
+can't keep away from this house, it's not strange that _he_ should want
+to see all of it he can. It's natural enough, and it does him credit."
+
+But Mr. Markson's next action was neither natural nor to his credit. He
+took off his traveling shawl, and disclosed a carpenter's brace; this
+and the shawl he laid on the ground, and then he examined the sills at
+the corners, where they were joined.
+
+They were only half joined, as we say in the trade--that is, the ends of
+each piece of timber were sawn half through and the partially detached
+portions cut out, so that the ends lapped over each other.
+
+Well, Mr. Markson hastily stacked up bricks and boards to the height of
+the foundation, and then made a similar stack at the other end of the
+foundation-wall, and then he rolled one of the sills over on these two
+supports, so it was bottom side up. Then he fitted a bit--a good wide
+one, an inch and a quarter, at least, I should say--to the brace, and
+then commenced boring a hole in the sill.
+
+I was astonished, but not too much so to be angry. That piece of timber
+was mine; Mr. Markson had not paid me a cent yet, and was not to do so
+until the next morning, after examining the foundations and sills.
+
+I had heard of such tricks before; my old employer had had men secretly
+injure a building, so as to claim it was not built according to contract
+when the money came due, but none of them did it so early in the course
+of the business.
+
+Within a few seconds my opinion of Mr. Markson's smartness altered
+greatly, and so did my opinion of human nature in general. I would have
+sadly, but promptly sold out my contract with Mr. Markson for the price
+of a ticket for the West, and I should have taken the first train.
+
+As he bored that hole I could see just how all the other builders in
+town would look when I had to take the law on Markson, and how all my
+friends would come and tell me I ought to have insisted on a payment in
+advance.
+
+But, after several sorrowful moments had elapsed, I commenced to think,
+and I soon made up my mind what I would do. I would _not_ descend from
+the tree while he was there--I have too much respect for my person to
+put it at the mercy of an ill-disposed individual. But as soon as he
+left the place, I would hasten to the ground, follow him, and demand an
+explanation. He might be armed, but I was, too--there were hard
+characters at Bartley, and they knew my pocket-book was sometimes full.
+
+Hole after hole that man bored; he made one join another until he had a
+string of them ten inches long, or thereabouts; then he began another
+string, right beside the first, and then another.
+
+I saw that his bit went but six or seven inches deep, so that it did
+not pierce the sill, and I could almost believe him in league with some
+rival builder to ruin my reputation by turning over, next morning, a log
+apparently sound, and showing it to be full of holes.
+
+I didn't feel any better-natured, either, when I noticed that he had
+carefully put a newspaper under where he was boring to catch all the
+chips, and destroy any idea of the mischief having been done wilfully
+and on the spot; but I determined I would follow him, and secure that
+paper of chips as evidence.
+
+Suddenly he stopped boring, and took a chisel from somewhere about his
+clothes, and he soon chiseled that honeycombed spot into a single hole,
+about five inches by ten, and six or seven inches deep.
+
+It slowly dawned over me that perhaps his purpose wasn't malicious,
+after all; and by the time I had reasoned the matter he helped me to a
+conclusion by taking from his pocket a little flat package, which he put
+into the hole.
+
+It looked as if it might be papers, or something the size of folded
+papers; but it was wrapped in something yellow and shiny--oil skin,
+probably, to keep it from the damp. Then he drove a few little nails
+inside the holes to keep the package from falling out when the sill was
+turned over; and then he did something which I never saw mixed with
+carpenter-work in my life--he stooped and kissed the package as it lay
+in the hole, and then he knelt on the ground beside the sill, and I
+could see by his face upturned in the moonlight, showing his closed eyes
+and moving lips, that he was praying.
+
+[Illustration: HE KNELT ON THE GROUND BESIDES THE SILL, AND I COULD SEE
+THAT HE WAS PRAYING.]
+
+Up to that moment I had been curious to know what was in that package;
+but after what I saw then, I never thought of it without wanting to
+utter a small prayer myself, though I never could decide what would be
+the appropriate thing to say, seeing I knew none of the circumstances. I
+am very particular not to give recommendations except where I am very
+sure the person I recommend is all right.
+
+Well, Markson disappeared a moment or two after, first carefully
+replacing the sill, and carrying away the chips, and I got out of my
+tree, forgetting all about the view I had discovered; and the unexpected
+scene I had looked at ran in my mind so constantly that, during the
+night, I dreamed that Markson stood in the hemlock-tree, with a gigantic
+brace and bit, and bored holes in the hills beside the river, while I
+kneeled in the second story window-frame, and kissed my contract with
+Markson, and prayed that I might make a hundred thousand dollars out of
+it. It is perfectly astonishing what things a sensible man will
+sometimes dream.
+
+Next morning I arrived at the building a few minutes before seven, and
+found Markson there before me. He expressed himself satisfied with
+everything, and paid me then and there a thousand dollars, which was due
+on acceptance of the work as far as then completed.
+
+He hung around all day while we put up the post and studding--probably
+to see that the sill was not turned over and his secret disclosed; and
+it was with this idea that I set the studding first on his particular
+sill. By night we had the frame so near up, that there was no
+possibility of the sill being moved; and then Markson went away.
+
+He came up often, after that, to see how his house was getting along.
+Each time he came he would saunter around to that particular sill, and
+when I noticed that he did this, I made some excuse to call the men away
+from that side of the house.
+
+Sometimes he brought his family with him, and I scarcely knew whether to
+be glad or sorry; for, while his daughter, a handsome, strong, bright,
+honest, golden-haired girl of fifteen or sixteen, always affected me as
+if she was a streak of sunshine, and made me hope I should some day have
+a daughter like her, his wife always affected me unpleasantly.
+
+I am not a good physiognomist, but I notice most people resemble animals
+of some sort, and when I decide on what animal it is, in any particular
+case, I judge the person accordingly.
+
+Now, Mrs. Markson--who was evidently her husband's second wife, for she
+was too young to be Helen's mother--was rather handsome and extremely
+elegant, but neither manners nor dress could hide a certain tigerish
+expression which was always in her face. It was generally inactive, but
+it was never absent, and the rapidity with which it awoke once or twice
+when she disapproved something which was done or said, made me
+understand why Mr. Markson, who always seemed pleasant and genial with
+any one else, was quite silent and guarded when his wife was with him.
+
+Pretty soon the people of Bartley knew all about the Marksons. How
+people learn all about other people is more than I can explain. _I_
+never have a chance to know all about my neighbors, for I am kept busy
+in looking to myself; but if all the energy that is devoted to other
+people's business in Bartley were expended on house-building, trade
+would soon be so dull that I should be longing for a mansion in the
+skies.
+
+Everybody in Bartley knew that Helen Markson's mother, who was very
+beautiful and lovable, had died years before, and that her stepmother
+had been Mrs. Markson only two or three years; that the second Mrs.
+Markson had married for money, and that her husband was afraid of her,
+and would run away from her if it wasn't for Helen; that Mrs. Markson
+sometimes got angry, and then she raved like mad, and that it was
+wearing Mr. Markson's life away; for he was a tender-hearted man, in
+spite of his smartness. Some even declared that Markson had willed her
+all his property, and insured his life heavily for her besides, and that
+if he died before Helen was married, Helen would be a beggar.
+
+But none of these things had anything to do with my contract. I worked
+away and had good weather, so I lost no time, and at the end of five
+months I had finished the house, been paid for it, had paid my bills,
+and made a clear two thousand dollars on the job. I could have made a
+thousand more, without any one being the wiser for it, but I don't
+build houses in that way--the public will greatly oblige me by cutting
+this out. This money gave me a handsome business start, and having had
+no serious losses, nor any houses thrown back upon my hands--(for I
+always make it a point to do a little better than I promise, so folks
+can't find fault)--I am now quite well off, and building houses on my
+own account, to sell; while some of my competitors, who started before I
+did, have been through bankruptcy, while some have been too poor to do
+even that.
+
+A few years after building Markson's house, I went with a Southern
+friend into a black-walnut speculation. We bought land in the Southwest,
+cut the timber, got it to market, and made a handsome profit, I am glad
+to say. This business took me away from home, and kept me for months,
+but, as I was still without family ties, I did not suffer much during my
+absence. Still the old village seemed to take on a kind of motherly air
+as the stage, with me in it, rattled into town, and I was just dropping
+into a pleasant little reverie, when a carriage, which I recognized as
+Markson's, dashed down the road, met us, and stopped, while the coachman
+shouted:
+
+"Raines's foreman says the old man's coming home to-day."
+
+He meant me.
+
+"Reckon his head was purty level," replied the stage-driver, tossing his
+head backward toward me.
+
+"Mr. Raines," said the coachman, recognizing me, "Mr. Markson is awful
+sick--like to die any minute--an' he wants to see you right away--wishes
+you wouldn't wait for anything."
+
+What to make of it I didn't know, and said so, upon which the
+stage-driver rather pettishly suggested that 'twouldn't take long to
+find out if I got behind Markson's team; and, as I agreed with him, I
+changed conveyances, and was soon at Markson's house.
+
+Helen met me at the door, and led me immediately to Markson's chamber.
+The distance from the door of his room to the side of his bed couldn't
+have been more than twenty feet, yet, in passing over it, it seemed to
+me that I imagined at least fifty reasons why the sick man had sent for
+me, but not one of the fifty was either sensible or satisfactory.
+
+I was even foolish enough to imagine Markson's conscience was troubled,
+and that he was going to pay me some money which he justly owed me,
+whereas he had paid me every cent, according to contract.
+
+We reached his bedside before I had determined what it could be. Helen
+took his hand, and said:
+
+"Father, here is Mr. Raines."
+
+Markson, who was lying motionless, with his face to the wall, turned
+quickly over and grasped my hand and beckoned me closer. I put my head
+down, and he whispered:
+
+"I'm glad you've come; I want to ask you a favor--a dying man's last
+request. You're an honest man (N.B.--People intending to build will
+please make a note of this.--J.R.), I am sure, and I want you to help me
+do justice. You have seen my wife; she can be a tiger when she wants to.
+She married me for money; she thinks the will I made some time ago,
+leaving everything to her, is my last. But it is not. I've deceived her,
+for the sake of peace. I made one since, leaving the bulk of my property
+to Helen; it came to me through her dear mother. I know nobody to trust
+it with. Mrs. Markson can wrap almost any one around her finger when she
+tries, and--"
+
+His breath began to fail, and the entrance of his wife did not seem to
+strengthen him any; but he finally regained it, and continued:
+
+"She will try it with _you_; but you are cool as well as honest, I
+believe. I meant to tell Helen where the will was the day after I put it
+there; but she was so young--it seemed dreadful to let her know how
+cowardly her father was--how he feared her. Get it--get a good
+lawyer--see she has her rights. I put it--no one could suspect where--I
+put it--in--the--"
+
+His breath failed him entirely, and he fixed his eyes on mine with an
+agonized expression which makes me shiver whenever I think of it.
+Suddenly his strange operation with that sill, of which I had not
+thought for a long time, came into my mind, and I whispered, quickly:
+
+"In the sill of the house?"
+
+His expression instantly changed to a very happy one, and yet he looked
+wonderstruck, which was natural enough.
+
+"I saw you put it there," said I. "But," I continued, fearing the dying
+man might suspect me of spying, and so fear he had mistaken my
+character--"but I did not mean to--I was on the ground when you came
+there that evening; and when I saw what you were doing, I could not move
+for fear of disturbing you. I know where to find it, and I can swear you
+put it there."
+
+Markson closed his eyes, and never opened them again; and his last act,
+before going out of the world, was to give my hand a squeeze, which,
+under the circumstances, I could not help believing was an honest one.
+
+As his hand relaxed, I felt that I had better give place to those who
+had a right to it, so I quietly retired. Helen fell on her knees by his
+bedside, but Mrs. Markson followed me out of the room.
+
+"Mr. Raines," said she, with a very pleasant smile for a woman widowed
+but a moment before, "what did my dear husband want?"
+
+Now, I am an honest man and a Church-member--and I was one then, and
+believed in truth and straightforwardness just as much as I do now--but,
+somehow, when such a person speaks to me, I feel as if I were all of a
+sudden a velvet-pawed cat myself. So I answered, with the straightest of
+faces:
+
+"Only to see to one of the sills of the house, ma'am, and he made me
+solemnly swear to do it right away. He was an extraordinary man, ma'am,
+to think of the good of his family up to the last moment."
+
+"Ah, yes, dear man!" said she, with a sigh which her face plainly
+showed came from nowhere deeper than her lips. "I hope it won't take
+long, though," she continued, "for I can't endure noise in the house."
+
+"Not more than an hour," I replied.
+
+"Oh, I'm glad to hear it!" said she. "Perhaps, then, you might do it
+while we are at the funeral, day after to-morrow? We will be gone at
+least two hours."
+
+"Easily, ma'am," said I, with my heart in my mouth at the idea of
+managing the matter so soon, and having the papers for Helen as soon as,
+in any sort of decency, Mrs. Markson would be likely to have the old
+will read.
+
+For the rest of the day I was so absent-minded to everything except this
+business of Markson's that my acquaintances remarked that, considering
+how long I had been gone, I didn't seem very glad to see any one.
+
+Finally I went to old Judge Bardlow, who was as true as steel, and told
+him the whole story, and he advised me to get the papers, and give them
+to him to examine. So, on the day of the funeral, I entered the house
+with a mallet and a mortizing chisel, and within fifteen minutes I had
+in my pocket the package Markson had put in the sill years before, and
+was hurrying to the judge's office.
+
+He informed me that Mrs. Markson's lawyer, from the city, had called on
+him that very morning, and invited him to be present at the reading of
+the will in the afternoon, so he would be able to put things in proper
+shape at once.
+
+I was more nervous all that day than I ever was in waiting to hear from
+an estimate. It was none of my business, to be sure; but I longed to see
+Mrs. Markson punished for the mischief which I and every one else
+believed she had done her husband; and I longed to see Helen, whom every
+one liked, triumph over her stepmother, who, still young and gay, was
+awfully jealous of Helen's beauty and general attractiveness.
+
+Finally the long day wore away, and an hour or two after the carriages
+returned from the funeral, the city lawyer called the judge, and, at the
+judge's suggestion, they both called for me.
+
+We found Mrs. Markson and Helen, with some of Mrs. Markson's
+relatives--Helen had not one in the world--in the parlor, Mrs. Markson
+looking extremely pretty in her neat-fitting suit of black, and Helen
+looking extremely disconsolate.
+
+The judge, in a courtly, old-fashioned way, but with a good deal of
+heart for all that, expressed his sympathy for Helen, and I tried to say
+a kind word to her myself. To be sure, it was all praise of her father,
+whom I really respected very highly (aside from my having had my first
+contract from him), but she was large-hearted enough to like it all the
+better for that. I was still speaking to her when Mrs. Markson's lawyer
+announced that he would read the last will and testament of the
+deceased; so, when she sat down on a sofa, I took a seat beside her.
+
+The document was very brief. He left Helen the interest of twenty
+thousand dollars a year, the same to cease if she married; all the rest
+of the property he left to his wife. As the lawyer concluded, Helen's
+face put on an expression of wonder and grief, succeeded by one of utter
+loneliness; while from Mrs. Markson's eyes there flashed an exultant
+look that had so much of malignity in it that it made me understand the
+nature of Satan a great deal more clearly than any sermon ever made me
+do. Poor Helen tried to meet it with fearlessness and dignity, but she
+seemed to feel as if even her father had abandoned her, and she dropped
+her head and burst into tears.
+
+I know it wasn't the thing to do before company, but I took her hand and
+called her a poor girl, and begged her to keep a good heart, and trust
+that her father loved her truly, and that her wrongs would be righted at
+the proper time.
+
+Being kind to my fellow-creatures is the biggest part of my religion,
+for it's the part of religion I understand best; but even if I had been
+a heathen, I couldn't have helped wishing well to a noble, handsome
+woman like Helen Markson. I tried to speak in a very low tone, but Mrs.
+Markson seemed to understand what I said, for she favored me with a look
+more malevolent than any I had ever received from my most impecunious
+debtor; the natural effect was to wake up all the old Adam there was in
+me, and to make me long for what was coming.
+
+"May I ask the date of that will?" asked Judge Bardlow.
+
+"Certainly, sir," replied Mrs. Markson's lawyer, handing the document to
+the judge. The judge looked at the date, handed the will back to the
+lawyer, and drew from his pocket an envelope.
+
+"Here is a will made by Mr. Markson," said the judge, "and dated three
+months later."
+
+Mrs. Markson started; her eyes flashed with a sort of fire which I hope
+I may never see again, and she caught her lower lip up between her
+teeth. The judge read the document as calmly as if it had been a mere
+supervisor's notice, whereas it was different to the first will in every
+respect, for it gave to Helen all of his property, of every description,
+on condition that she paid to Mrs. Markson yearly the interest of twenty
+thousand dollars until death or marriage, "this being the amount," as
+the will said, "that she assured me would be amply sufficient for my
+daughter under like circumstances."
+
+As the judge ceased reading, and folded the document, Mrs. Markson
+sprang at him as if she were a wild beast.
+
+"Give it to me!" she screamed--hissed, rather; "'tis a vile, hateful
+forgery!"
+
+"Madame," said the judge, hastily putting the will in his pocket, and
+taking off his glasses, "that is a matter which the law wisely provides
+shall not be decided by interested parties. When I present it for
+probate--"
+
+"I'll _break_ it!" interrupted Mrs. Markson, glaring, as my family cat
+does when a mouse is too quick for her.
+
+Mrs. Markson's lawyer asked permission to look at the newer will, which
+the judge granted. He looked carefully at the signature of Markson and
+the witnesses, and returned the document with a sigh.
+
+"Don't attempt it, madame--no use," said he. "I know all the signatures;
+seen them a hundred times. I'm sorry, very--affects _my_ pocket some,
+for it cuts some of my prospective fees, but--_that_ will can't be
+broken."
+
+Mrs. Markson turned, looked at Helen a second, and then dashed at her,
+as if "to scatter, tear and slay," as the old funeral hymn says. Helen
+stumbled and cowered a little toward me, seeing which I--how on earth I
+came to do it I don't know--put my arm around her, and looked
+indignantly at Mrs. Markson.
+
+"You treacherous hussy!" said Mrs. Markson, stamping her foot--"you
+scheming little minx! I could kill you! I could tear you to pieces! I
+could drink your very heart's blood--I could--"
+
+What else she could do she was prevented from telling, for she fell into
+a fit, and was carried out rigid and foaming at the mouth.
+
+I am generally sorry to see even wicked people suffer, but I wasn't a
+bit sorry to see Mrs. Markson; for, while she was talking, poor Helen
+trembled so violently that it seemed to me she would be scared to death
+if her cruel stepmother talked much longer.
+
+Two hours later Mrs. Markson, with all her relatives and personal
+effects, left the house, and six months afterward Mrs. Markson entrapped
+some other rich man into marrying her. She never tried to break
+Marston's will.
+
+As Helen was utterly ignorant of the existence of this new will until
+she heard it read, the judge explained to her where it came from; and as
+she was naturally anxious for all the particulars of its discovery, the
+judge sent me to her to tell her the whole story. So I dressed myself
+and drove down--for, though still under thirty, I was well off, and
+drove my own span--and told her of my interview with her father, on his
+deathbed, as well as of the scene on the night he hid the will.
+
+As I told the latter part of the story a reverent, loving,
+self-forgetful look came into her face, and made her seem to me like an
+angel. As for myself, the recalling of the incident, now that I knew its
+sequel, prevented my keeping my eyes dry. I felt a little ashamed of
+myself and hurried away, but her look while I spoke of her father, and
+her trembling form in my arms while Mrs. Markson raved at her, were
+constantly in my mind, and muddled a great many important estimates.
+They finally troubled me so that I drove down again and had a long and
+serious talk with Helen.
+
+What we said, though perfectly proper and sensible, might not be
+interesting in print, so I omit it. I will say, however, that my
+longing--when I first saw Helen as a little girl--for a daughter just
+like her, has been fulfilled so exactly, that I have named her Helen
+Markson Raines, after her mother; and if she is not as much comfort to
+me as I supposed she would be, it is no fault of hers, but rather
+because the love of her mother makes me, twenty years after the
+incidents of this story occurred, so constantly happy, that I need the
+affection of no one else.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+GRUMP'S PET.
+
+
+On a certain day in November, 1850, there meandered into the new mining
+camp of Painter Bar, State of California, an individual who was
+instantly pronounced, all voices concurring, the ugliest man in the
+camp. The adjective ugly was applied to the man's physiognomy alone; but
+time soon gave the word, as applied to him, a far wider significance. In
+fact, the word was not at all equal to the requirements made of it, and
+this was probably what influenced the prefixing of numerous adjectives,
+sacred and profane, to this little word of four letters.
+
+The individual in question stated that he came from "no whar in
+pu'tiklar," and the savage, furtive glance that shot from his hyena-like
+eyes seemed to plainly indicate why the land of his origin was so
+indefinitely located. A badly broken nose failed to soften the
+expression of his eyes, a long, prominent, dull-red scar divided one of
+his cheeks, his mustache was not heavy enough to hide a hideous
+hare-lip; while a ragged beard, and a head of stiff, bristly red hair,
+formed a setting which intensified rather than embellished the
+peculiarities we have noted.
+
+The first settlers, who seemed quite venerable and dignified, now that
+the camp was nearly a fortnight old, were in the habit of extending
+hospitality to all newcomers until these latter could build huts for
+themselves; but no one hastened to invite this beauty to partake of
+cracker, pork and lodging-place, and he finally betook himself to the
+southerly side of a large rock, against which he placed a few boughs to
+break the wind.
+
+The morning after his arrival, certain men missed provisions, and the
+ugly man was suspected; but so depressing, as one miner mildly put it,
+was his aspect when even looked at inquiringly, that the bravest of the
+boys found excuse for not asking questions of the suspected man.
+
+"Ain't got no chum," suggested Bozen, an ex-sailor, one day, after the
+crowd had done considerable staring at this unpleasant object; "ain't
+got no chum, and's lonesome--needs cheerin' up." So Bozen
+philanthropically staked a new claim near the stranger, apart from the
+main party. The next morning found him back on his old claim, and
+volunteering to every one the information that "stranger's a grump--a
+reg'lar grump." From that time forth "Grump" was the only name by which
+the man was known.
+
+Time rolled on, and in the course of a month Painter Bar was mentioned
+as an old camp. It had its mining rules, its saloon, blacksmith-shop,
+and faro-bank, like the proudest camp on the Run, and one could find
+there colonels, judges, doctors, and squires by the dozen, besides one
+deacon and a dominie or two.
+
+Still, the old inhabitants kept an open eye for newcomers, and displayed
+an open-hearted friendliness from whose example certain Eastern cities
+might profit.
+
+But on one particular afternoon, the estimable reception committee were
+put to their wit's end. They were enjoying their _otium cum dignitale_
+on a rude bench in front of the saloon, when some one called attention
+to an unfamiliar form which leaned against a stunted tree a few rods
+off.
+
+It was of a short, loose-jointed young man, who seemed so thin and lean,
+that Black Tom ventured the opinion that "that feller had better hold
+tight to the groun', ter keep from fallen' upards." His eyes were
+colorless, his nose was enormous, his mouth hung wide open and then shut
+with a twitch, as if its owner were eating flies, his chin seemed to
+have been entirely forgotten, and his thin hair was in color somewhere
+between sand and mud.
+
+As he leaned against the tree he afforded a fine opportunity for the
+study of acute and obtuse angles. His neck, shoulders, elbows, wrists,
+back, knees and feet all described angles, and even the toes of his
+shocking boots deflected from the horizontal in a most decided manner.
+
+"Somebody ort to go say somethin' to him," said the colonel, who was
+recognized as leader by the miners.
+
+"Fact, colonel," replied one of the men; "but what's a feller to say to
+sich a meanderin' bone-yard ez that? Might ask him, fur perliteness
+sake, to take fust pick uv lots in a new buryin' ground; but then
+Perkins died last week, yur know."
+
+"Say _somethin'_, somebody," commanded the colonel, and as he spoke his
+eyes alighted on Slim Sam, who obediently stepped out to greet the
+newcomer.
+
+"Mister," said Sam, producing a plug of tobacco, "hev a chaw?"
+
+"I don't use tobacco," languidly replied the man, and his answer was so
+unexpected that Sam precipitately retired.
+
+Then Black Tom advanced, and pleasantly asked:
+
+"What's yer fav'rit game, stranger?"
+
+"Blind man's buff," replied the stranger.
+
+"What's that?" inquired Tom, blushing with shame at being compelled to
+display ignorance about games; "anything like going it blind at poker?"
+
+"Poker?--I don't know what that is," replied the youth.
+
+"He's from the country," said the colonel, compassionately, "an' hesn't
+hed the right schoolin'. P'r'aps," continued the colonel, "he'd enjoy
+the cockfight at the saloon to-night--these country boys are pretty well
+up on roosters. Ask him, Tom."
+
+Tom put the question, and the party, in deep disgust, heard the man
+reply:
+
+"No, thank you; I think it's cruel to make the poor birds hurt each
+other."
+
+"Look here," said the good-natured Bozen, "the poor lubber's all gone in
+amidships--see how flat his breadbasket is. I say, messmate," continued
+Bozen, with a roar, and a jerk of his thumb over his shoulder, "come and
+splice the main-brace."
+
+"No, thank you," answered the unreasonable stranger; "I don't drink."
+
+The boys looked incredulously at each other, while the colonel arose and
+paced the front of the saloon two or three times, looking greatly
+puzzled. He finally stopped and said:
+
+"The mizzable rat isn't fit to be out uv doors, an' needs takin' keer
+ov. Come here, feller," called the colonel; "be kinder sociable--don't
+stand there a gawpin' at us ez ef we wuz a menagerie."
+
+The youth approached slowly, stared through the crowd, and finally
+asked:
+
+"Is there any one here from Pawkin Centre?"
+
+No one responded.
+
+"Some men went out to Californy from Pawkin Centre, and I didn't know
+but some of 'em was here. I come from ther' myself--my name's Mix," the
+youth continued..
+
+"Meanin' no disrespect to your dad," said the colonel, "Mr. Mix, Senior,
+ortn't to hev let you come out here--you ain't strong enough--you'll git
+fever 'n ager 'fore you've washed dirt half a day."
+
+"I ain't got no dad," replied the stranger; "leastways he ran away ten
+years ago, an' mother had a powerful hard time since, a-bringin' up the
+young uns, an' we thought I might help along a big sight if I was out
+here."
+
+The colonel was not what in the States would be called a prayer-meeting
+man, but he looked steadily at the young man, and inwardly breathed a
+very earnest "God have mercy on you all." Then he came back to the more
+immediate present, and, looking about, asked:
+
+"Who's got sleepin'-room for this young man?"
+
+"I hev," quickly answered Grump, who had approached, unnoticed, while
+the newcomer was being interviewed.
+
+Every one started, and Grump's countenance did not gather amiability as
+he sneakingly noticed the general distrust.
+
+"Yer needn't glare like that," said he, savagely; "I sed it, an' I mean
+it. Come along, youngster--it's about the time I generally fry my pork."
+
+And the two beauties walked away together, while the crowd stared in
+speechless astonishment.
+
+"He won't make much out uv that boy, that's one comfort," said Black
+Tom, who had partially recovered from his wonder. "You ken bet yer
+eye-teeth that his pockets wouldn't pan out five dollars."
+
+"Then what does he want uv him?" queried Slim Sam.
+
+"Somethin' mean an' underhand, for certain," said the colonel, "and the
+boy must be purtected. And I hereby app'int this whole crowd to keep an
+eye on Grump, an' see he don't make a slave of the boy, an' don't rob
+him of dust. An' I reckon I'll take one of yer with me, an' keep watch
+of the old rascal to-night. I don't trust him wuth a durn."
+
+That night the boys at the saloon wrinkled their brows like unto an
+impecunious Committee of Ways and Means, as they vainly endeavored to
+surmise why Grump could want that young man as a lodger. Men who pursued
+wittling as an aid to reason made pecks of chips and shavings, and were
+no nearer a solution than when they began.
+
+There were a number of games played, but so great was the
+absentmindedness of the players, that several hardened scamps indulged
+in some most unscrupulous "stocking" of the cards without detection. But
+even one of these, after having dealt himself both bowers and the king,
+besides two aces, suddenly imagined he had discovered Grump's motive,
+and so earnest was he in exposing that nefarious wretch, that one of his
+opponents changed hands with him. Even the barkeeper mixed the bottles
+badly, and on one occasion, just as the boys were raising their glasses,
+he metaphorically dashed the cup from their lips by a violent, "I tell
+you what" and an unsatisfactory theory. Finally the colonel arose.
+
+"Boys," said he, in the tone of a man whose mind is settled, "'tain't
+'cos the youngster looked like lively comp'ny, fur he didn't. 'Taint
+'cos Grump wanted to do him a good turn, fur 'tain't his style.
+Cons'kently, thar's sumthin' wrong. Tom, I reckon I take _you_ along."
+
+And Tom and the colonel departed.
+
+During the month which had elapsed since his advent, Grump had managed
+to build him a hut of the usual mining pattern, and the colonel and Tom
+stealthily examined its walls, front and rear, until they found crevices
+which would admit the muzzle of a revolver, should it be necessary. Then
+they applied their eyes to the same cracks, and saw the youth asleep on
+a pile of dead grass, with Grump's knapsack for a pillow, and one of
+Grump's blankets over him. Grump himself was sitting on a fragment of
+stone, staring into the fire, with his face in his hands.
+
+He sat so long that the worthy colonel began to feel indignant; to sit
+in a cramped position on the outside of a house, for the sake of abused
+human nature, was an action more praiseworthy than comfortable, and the
+colonel began to feel personally aggrieved at Grump's delay. Besides,
+the colonel was growing thirsty.
+
+Suddenly Grump arose, looked down at the sleeping youth, and then knelt
+beside him. The colonel briskly brought his pistol to bear on him, and
+with great satisfaction noted that Tom's muzzle occupied a crack in the
+front walls, and that he himself was out of range.
+
+A slight tremor seemed to run through the sleeper; "and no wonder," said
+the colonel, when he recounted the adventure to the boys; "anybody'd
+shiver to hev _that_ catamount glarin' at him."
+
+Grump arose, and softly went to a corner which was hidden by the
+chimney.
+
+"Gone for his knife, I'll bet," whispered the colonel to himself. "I
+hope Tom don't spile my mad by firin' fust."
+
+Grump returned to view; but instead of a knife, he bore another blanket,
+which he gently spread over his sleeping guest, then he lay down beside
+Mix with a log of wood for a pillow.
+
+The colonel withdrew his pistol, and softly muttered to himself a dozen
+or two enormous oaths; then he arose, straightened out his cramped legs,
+and started to find Tom. That worthy had started on a similar errand,
+and on meeting, the two stared at each other in the moonlight as blankly
+as a couple of well-preserved mummies.
+
+"S'pose the boys'll believe us?" whispered the colonel.
+
+"We ken bring 'em down to see the show themselves, ef they don't,"
+replied Tom.
+
+The colonel's report was productive of the choicest assortment of
+ejaculations that had been heard in camp since Natchez, the leader of
+the Vinegar Gulch Boys, joined the Church and commenced preaching.
+
+The good-natured Bozen was for drinking Grump's health at once, but the
+colonel demurred. So did Slim Sam.
+
+"He's goin' to make him work on sheers, or some hocus-pocusin'
+arrangement, an' he can't afford to hev him git sick. That's what his
+kindness amounts to," said Sam.
+
+"Ur go fur his gratitude--and dust, when he gets any," suggested
+another, and no one repelled the insinuation.
+
+It was evident, however, that there was but little chance of either
+inquest or funeral from Grump's, and the crowd finally dispersed with
+the confirmed assurance that there would be one steady cause of
+excitement for some time to come.
+
+Next morning young Mix staked a claim adjoining Grump. The colonel led
+him aside, bound him to secrecy and told him that there was a far
+richer dirt further down the stream. The young man pointed toward the
+hut, and replied:
+
+"He sed 'twas payin' dirt, an' I ort to take his advice, seein' he giv
+me a pick an' shovel an' pan--sed he'd hev to git new ones anyhow."
+
+"Thunder!" ejaculated the colonel, more puzzled than ever knowing well
+how a miner will cling as long as possible to tools with which he is
+acquainted.
+
+"Jest wait till that boy gets a bag of dust," said a miner, when the
+colonel had narrated the second wonder. "The express agent'll be here
+next week to git what fellers wants to send to their folks--the boy'll
+want to send some to his'n--his bag'll be missin' 'bout then--jist wait,
+and ef my words don't come true, call me greaser."
+
+The colonel pondered over the prophecy, and finally determined on
+another vigil outside Grump's hut.
+
+Meanwhile, Grump's Pet, as Mix had been nicknamed, afforded the camp a
+great deal of amusement. He was not at all reserved, and was easily
+drawn out on the subject of his protector, of whom he spoke in terms of
+unmeasured praise.
+
+"By the piper that played before Moses," said one of the boys one day,
+"ef half that boy sez is true, some day Grump'll hev wings sprout
+through his shirt, an' 'll be sittin' on the sharp edge uv a cloud an'
+playin' onto a harp, jist like the other angels."
+
+As for Grump himself, he improved so much that suspicion was half
+disarmed when one looked at him; nevertheless the colonel deemed it
+prudent to watch the Pet's landlord on the night preceding the express
+day.
+
+The colonel timed himself by counting the games of old sledge that were
+played. At the end of the sixth game after dark he made his way to
+Grump's hut and quietly located himself at the same crack as before.
+
+The Pet and his friend were both lying down, but by the light of the
+fire the colonel could see the eyes of the former were closed, while
+those of the latter were wide open. The moments flew by, and still the
+two men remained in the same positions, the Pet apparently fast asleep,
+and Grump wide awake.
+
+The interior of a miner's hut, though displaying great originality of
+design, and ingenious artistic effects, becomes after a time rather a
+tiresome object of contemplation. The colonel found it so, and he
+relieved his strained eyes by an occasional amateur astronomical
+observation. On turning his head, with a yawn, from one of these, he saw
+inside the hut a state of affairs which caused him to feel hurriedly for
+his pistol.
+
+Grump had risen upon one elbow, and was stealthily feeling with his
+other hand under the Pet's head.
+
+"Ha!" thought the colonel; "right at last."
+
+Slowly Grump's hand emerged from beneath the Pet's head, and with it
+came a leather bag containing gold dust.
+
+The colonel drew a perfect bead on Grump's temple.
+
+"I'll jest wait till you're stowin' that away, my golden-haired beauty,"
+said the colonel, within himself, "an' then we'll see what cold lead's
+got to say about it."
+
+Grump untied the bag, set it upon his own pillow, drew forth his own
+pouch, and untied it; the colonel's aim remained true to its unconscious
+mark.
+
+"Ef that's the game," continued the colonel, to himself, "I reckon the
+proper time to play my trump is just when you're a-pourin' from his bag
+into your'n. It'll be ez good's a theatre, to bring the boys up to see
+how 'twas done. Lord! I wish he'd hurry up!"
+
+Grump placed a hand upon each bag, and the colonel felt for his trigger.
+Grump's left hand opened wide the mouth of Pet's bag, and his right hand
+raised his own; in a moment he had poured out all his own gold into
+Pet's bag, tied it, and replaced it under Pet's head.
+
+The colonel retired quietly for a hundred yards, or more, then he
+started for the saloon like a man inspired by a three-days' thirst. As
+he entered the saloon the crowd arose.
+
+"Any feller ken say I lie," meekly spoke the colonel, "an' I won't
+shoot, _I_ wouldn't believe it ef I hedn't seen it with my own eyes.
+Grump's poured all his gold into the Pet's pouch!"
+
+The whole party, in chorus, condemned their optical organs to
+supernatural warmth; some, more energetic than the rest, signified that
+the operation should extend to their lungs and lives. But the doubter of
+the party again spoke:
+
+"Mind yer," said he, "to-morrow he'll be complainin' that the Pet stole
+it, an' then he'll claim all in the Pet's pouch."
+
+The colonel looked doubtful; several voices expressed dissent; Bozen,
+reviving his proposition to drink to Grump, found opinion about equally
+balanced, but conservative. It was agreed, however, that all the boys
+should "hang around" the express agent next day, and should, if Grump
+made the Pet any trouble, dispose of him promptly, and give the Pet a
+clear title to all of Grump's rights and properties.
+
+The agent came, and one by one the boys deposited their dust, saw it
+weighed, and took their receipts. Presently there was a stir near the
+door, and Grump and Pet entered. Pet's gold was weighed, his mother's
+name given, and a receipt tendered.
+
+"Thinks he's goin' to hev conviction in writin'," whispered the doubter
+to the colonel.
+
+But the agent finished his business, took the stage, and departed. Grump
+started to the door to see the last of it. The doubter was there before
+him, and saw a big tear in the corner of each of Grump's eyes.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A few days after Grump went to Placerville for a new pick for the
+Pet--the old one was too heavy for a light man, Grump said. Pet himself
+felt rather lonesome working on his neighbor's claim, so he sauntered
+down the creek, and got a kind word from almost every man. His
+ridiculous anatomy had escaped the grave so long, he was so industrious
+and so inoffensive, that the boys began to have a sort of affection for
+the boy who had come so far to "help the folks."
+
+Finally, some weak miner, unable to hold the open secret any longer,
+told the Pet about Grump's operation in dust. Great was the astonishment
+of the young man, and puzzling miners gained sympathy from the weak eyes
+and open mouth of the Pet as he meandered homeward, evidently as much
+at a loss as themselves.
+
+Unlucky was the spirit which prompted Grump in the selection of his
+claim! It was just beyond a small bend which the Run made, and was,
+therefore, out of sight of the claims of the other men belonging to the
+camp. And it came to pass that while Pet was standing on his own claim,
+leaning on his spade, and puzzling his feeble brain, there came down the
+Run the great Broady, chief of the Jolly Grasshoppers, who were working
+several miles above.
+
+Mr. Broady had found a nugget a few days before, and, in his exultation,
+had ceased work and become a regular member of the bar. A week's
+industrious drinking developed in him that peculiar amiability and
+humanity which is characteristic of cheap whisky, and as Pet was small,
+ugly and alone, Broady commenced working off on him his own superfluous
+energy.
+
+Poor Pet's resistance only increased the fury of Broady, and the family
+at Pawkin Centre seemed in imminent danger of being supported by the
+town, when suddenly a pair of enormous stubby hands seized Broady by the
+throat, and a harsh voice, which Pet joyfully recognized as Grump's,
+exclaimed:
+
+"Let him go, or I'll tear yer into mince-meat, curse yer!"
+
+The chief of the Jolly Grasshoppers was not in the habit of obeying
+orders, but Grump's hands imparted to his command considerable moral
+force.
+
+No sooner, however, had Broady extricated himself from Grump's grasp
+than he drew his revolver and fired. Grump fell, and the chief of the
+Jolly Grasshoppers, his injured dignity made whole, walked peacefully
+away.
+
+The sound of the shot brought up all the boys from below.
+
+"They've fit!" gasped the doubter, catching his breath as he ran, "an'
+the boy--boy's hed to--lay him out."
+
+It seemed as if the doubter might be right, for the boys found Grump
+lying on the ground bleeding badly, and the Pet on his hands and knees.
+
+"How did it come 'bout?" asked the colonel of Pet.
+
+"Broady done it," replied Grump, in a hoarse whisper; "he pounded the
+boy, and I tackled him--then he fired."
+
+The doubter went around and raised the dying man's head. Pet seemed
+collecting all his energies for some great effort; finally he asked:
+
+"What made you pour your dust into my pouch?"
+
+"'Cause," whispered the dying man, putting one arm about Pet's neck, and
+drawing him closer, "_'cause I'm yer dad_; give this to yer mar," and on
+Pet's homely face the ugliest man at Painter Bar put the first token of
+human affection ever displayed in that neighborhood.
+
+The arm relaxed its grasp and fell loosely, and the red eyes closed. The
+experienced colonel gazed into the upturned face, and gently said:
+
+"Pet, yer an orphan."
+
+Reverently the boys carried the dead man into his own hut. Several men
+dug a grave beside that of Perkins, while the colonel and doubter acted
+as undertakers, the latter donating his only white shirt for a shroud.
+
+This duty done, they went to the saloon, and the doubter called up the
+crowd. The glasses filled, the doubter raised his own, and exclaimed:
+
+"Boys, here's corpse--corpse is the best-looking man in camp."
+
+And so he was. For the first time in his wretched life his soul had
+reached his face, and the Judge mercifully took him while he was yet in
+His own image.
+
+The body was placed in a rude coffin, and borne to the grave on a litter
+of spades, followed by every man in camp, the colonel supporting the
+only family mourner. Each man threw a shovelful of dirt upon the coffin
+before the filling began. As the last of the surface of the coffin
+disappeared from view, Pet raised a loud cry and wept bitterly, at which
+operation he was joined by the whole party.
+
+
+
+
+WARDELOW'S BOY.
+
+
+New Boston has once been the most promising of the growing cities of the
+West, according to some New York gentleman who constituted a land
+improvement company, distributed handsome maps gratis, and courted
+susceptible Eastern editors. Its water-power was unrivaled; ground for
+all desirable public buildings, and for a handsome park with ready-grown
+trees and a natural lake, had been securely provided for by the terms of
+the company's charter; building material abounded; the water was good;
+the soil of unequaled fertility; while the company, with admirable
+forethought, had a well-stocked store on the ground, and had made
+arrangements to send to the town a skillful physician and a popular
+preacher.
+
+A reasonable number of colonists found their way to the ground in the
+pleasant Spring time, and, in spite of sundry local peculiarities not
+mentioned in the company's circular, they might have remained, had not a
+mighty freshet, in June, driven them away, and even saved some of them
+the trouble of moving their houses.
+
+When, however, most of the residences floated down the river, some of
+them bearing their owners on their roofs, such of the inhabitants as had
+money left the promised land for ever; while the others made themselves
+such homes as they could in the nearest settlements which were above
+water, and fraternized with the natives through the medium of that
+common bond of sympathy in the Western lowlands, the ague.
+
+Only a single one of the original inhabitants remained, and he,
+although he might have chosen the best of the abandoned houses for his
+residence, or even the elegant but deserted "company's store," continued
+to inhabit the cabin he had built upon his arrival. The solid business
+men of the neighboring town of Mount Pisgah, situated upon a bluff,
+voted him a fool whenever his name was mentioned; but the wives of these
+same men, when they chanced to see old Wardelow passing by, with the
+wistful face he always wore, looked after him tenderly, and never lost
+an opportunity to speak to him kindly. When they met at tea-parties, or
+quilting-bees, or sewing-societies, or in other gatherings exclusively
+feminine, there were not a few of them who had the courage to say that
+the world would be better if more men were like old Wardelow.
+
+For love seemed the sole motive of old Wardelow's life. The cemetery
+which the thoughtful projectors of New Boston had presented to the
+inhabitants had for its only occupant the wife of old Wardelow; and she
+had been conveyed thereto by a husband who was both young and handsome.
+The freshet which had, soon afterward, swept the town, had carried with
+it Wardelow's only child, a boy of seven years, who had been playing in
+a boat which he, in some way, unloosed.
+
+From that day the father had found no trace of his child, yet he never
+ceased hoping for his return. Every steamboat captain on the river knew
+the old man, and the roughest of them had cheerfuly replied in the
+affirmative when asked if they wouldn't bring up a small boy who might
+some day come on board, report himself as Stevie Wardelow, and ask to be
+taken to New Boston.
+
+Almost every steamboat man, from captain and pilot down to fireman and
+roustabout, carried and posted Wardelow's circulars wherever they
+went--up Red River, the Yazoo, the White, the Arkansas, the Missouri,
+and all the smaller tributaries of the Mississippi.
+
+New Boston had long been dropped from the list of post-towns, but every
+cross-road for miles around had a fingerboard showing the direction and
+telling the distance to New Boston. Upon a tall cottonwood-tree on the
+river-bank, and nearly in front of Wardelow's residence, was an immense
+signboard bearing the name of "New Boston Landing," and on the other
+side of the river, at a ferry-staging belonging to a crossing whose
+other terminus was a mile further down the river, was a sign which
+informed travelers that persons wishing to go to New Boston would find a
+skiff marked "Wardelow" tied near the staging.
+
+The old man never went to Mount Pisgah for stores, or up the river to
+fish, or even into his own cornfield and garden, without affixing to his
+door a placard telling where he had gone and when he would return.
+
+When he went to the cemetery, which he frequently did, a statement to
+that effect, and a plan showing the route to and through the cemetery,
+was always appended to his door, and, as he could never clearly imagine
+his boy as having passed the childhood in which he had last seen him,
+all the signboards, placards, and circulars were in large capital
+letters.
+
+Even when the river overflowed its banks, which it did nearly every
+Spring, the old man did not leave his house. He would not have another
+story built upon it, as he was advised to do, lest Stevie might fail to
+recognize it on his return; but, after careful study, he had the house
+raised until the foundation was above high-water mark, and then had the
+ground made higher, but sloped so gradually that the boy could not
+notice the change.
+
+When one after another of the city's "plots," upon which deserted houses
+stood, were sold for default in payment of taxes, old Wardelow bought
+them himself--they always went for a song, and the old man preferred to
+own them, lest some one else might destroy the ruins, and thus make the
+place unfamiliar to the returning wanderer.
+
+Of friends he had almost none. Although he was intelligent, industrious,
+ingenious, and owned a library which passed for quite a large one in
+those days and in the new West, he cared to talk on only one subject,
+and as that was of no particular interest to other people, and
+became, in the course of time, extremely stale to those who did not like
+it, the people of Mount Pisgah and the adjoining country did not spend
+more time upon old Wardelow than was required by the necessities of
+business.
+
+[Illustration: THE OLD MAN NEVER LEFT HIS HOUSE WITHOUT AFFIXING TO HIS
+DOOR A PLACARD TELLING WHERE HE HAD GONE AND WHEN HE WOULD RETURN.]
+
+There were a few exceptions to this rule. Old Mrs. Perry, who passed for
+a saint, and whose life did not belie her reputation, used to drive her
+old pony up to New Boston about once a month, carrying some home-made
+delicacy with her, and chatting sympathetically for an hour or two.
+
+Among the Mount Pisgah merchants there was one--who had never had a
+child of his own--who always pressed the old man's hand warmly, and
+admitted the possibility of whatever new hope Wardelow might express.
+
+The pastors of the several churches at Mount Pisgah, however much they
+disagreed on doctrinal points, were in perfect accord as to the beauty
+of a character which was so completely under the control of a noble
+principle that had no promise of money in it; most of them, therefore,
+paid the old man professional visits, from which they generally returned
+with more benefit than they had conferred.
+
+Time had rolled on as usual, in spite of Wardelow's great sorrow. The
+Mexican war was just breaking out when New Boston was settled, and
+Wardelow's hair was black, and Mount Pisgah was a little cluster of log
+huts; but when Lincoln was elected, Wardelow had been gray and called
+old for nearly ten years, and Mount Pisgah had quite a number of
+two-story residences and brick stores, and was a county town, with
+court-house and jail all complete.
+
+None of the railway lines projected toward and through Mount Pisgah had
+been completed, however, nor had the town telegraphic communication with
+anywhere; so, compared with localities enjoying the higher benefits of
+civilization, Mount Pisgah and its surroundings constituted quite a
+paradise for horse-thieves.
+
+There were still sparsely settled places, too, which needed the
+ministrations of the Methodist circuit-rider.
+
+The young man who had been sent by the Southern Illinois Conference to
+preach the Word on the Mount Pisgah circuit was great-hearted and
+impetuous, and tremendously in earnest in all that he did or said; but,
+like all such men, he paid the penalty of being in advance of his day
+and generation by suffering some terrible fits of depression over the
+small results of his labor.
+
+And so, following the example of most of his predecessors on the Mount
+Pisgah circuit, he paid many a visit to old Wardelow, to learn strength
+from this perfect example of patient faith.
+
+As the circuit-rider left the old man one evening, and sought his
+faithful horse in the deserted barn in which he had tied him, he was
+somewhat astonished to find the horse unloosed, and another man quietly
+leading him away.
+
+Courage and decision being among the qualities which are natural to the
+successful circuit-rider, he sprang at the thief and knocked him down.
+The operator in horse-flesh speedily regained his feet, however, and as
+he closed with the preacher the latter saw, under the starlight, the
+gleam of a knife.
+
+Commending himself to the Lord, he made such vigorous efforts for the
+safety of his body that, within two or three moments, he had the thief
+face downward on the ground, his own knee on the thief's back, one hand
+upon the thief's neck, and in his other hand the thief's knife. Then the
+circuit-rider delivered a short address.
+
+"My sinful friend," said he, "when two men get into such a scrape as
+this, and one of them is in your line of business, one or the other will
+have to die, and I don't propose to be the one. I haven't finished the
+work which the Master has given me to do. If you've any dying messages
+to send to anybody, I give you my word as a preacher that they shall be
+delivered, but you must speak quick. What's your name?"
+
+"I'll give you five hundred dollars to let me off--you may holler for
+help and tie my hand, and--"
+
+"No use--speak quick," hissed the preacher--"what's your name?"
+
+"Stephen Wardelow," gasped the thief.
+
+"What!" roared the preacher, loosening his grasp, but instantly
+tightening it again.
+
+"Stephen Wardelow," replied the thief. "But I haven't got any messages
+to send to anybody. I haven't a relative in the world, and nobody would
+care if I was dead. I might as well go now as any time. Hit square when
+yo _do_ let me have it--that's all!"
+
+"Where's your parents?" asked the preacher.
+
+"Dead, I reckon," the thief answered. "Leastways, I know mother is, and
+dad lived in a fever an' aguerish place, an' I s'pose he's gone, too,
+before this."
+
+"Where did he live?"
+
+"I don't know--some new settlement somewheres in Illinois. I got lost in
+the river when I was a little boy, an' was picked up by a tradin'-boat
+an' sold for a nearly-white nigger--I s'pose I _was_ pretty dark."
+
+There was a silence; the captive lay perfectly quiet, as if expecting
+the fatal blow. Suddenly a voice was heard:
+
+"Not wishin' to interfere in a fair fight--it's me, parson, Sheriff
+Peters--not wishin' to interfere in a fair fight, I've been a-lookin' on
+here, where I'd tracked the thief myself, and would have grabbed him if
+you hadn't been about half a minute ahead of me. And if you want to know
+my honest opinion--my professional opinion--it's just this: There was
+stuff for a splendid sheriff spiled when you went a-preachin'. How you'd
+get along when it come to collectin' taxes, I don't know, never havin'
+been at any meetin' where you took up a collection; but when it come to
+an arrest, you'd be just chain-lightning ground down to a pint. The
+pris'ner's yours, and so's all the rewards that's offered for him,
+though they're not offered for a man of the name _he_ gives. But,
+honest, now, don't you think there's a chance of mitigatin'
+circumstances in his case? Let's talk it over--I'll help you tie him so
+he can't slip you."
+
+The sheriff lighted a pocket-lantern and placed it in a window-frame
+behind him, then he tied the prisoner's feet and legs in several places,
+tied his hands behind his back, sat him upon the ground with his face
+toward the door, cocked a pistol, and then beckoned the preacher toward
+a corner. The sheriff opened his pocketbook and took out a paper,
+whispering as he did so:
+
+"I've carried this as a sort of a curiosity, but it may come in handy
+now. Let's see--confound it!--the poor old fellow is describing the
+child just as it was fifteen years ago. Oh, here's a point or
+two!--'brown eyes, black hair'--oh, bully! here's the best thing
+yet!--'first joint of the left fore-finger gone.'"
+
+The sheriff snatched the light, and both men hastened to examine the
+prisoner's hand. After a single glance their eyes met and each set of
+optics inquired of the other.
+
+At length the sheriff remarked: "He's _your_ pris'ner."
+
+The circuit-rider flushed and then turned pale. He took the lantern from
+the sheriff, turned the light full on the prisoner's face, and said:
+
+"Prisoner, suppose you were to find that your father was alive?"
+
+The horse-thief replied with a piercing glance, which was full of
+wonder, but said not a word. A moment or two passed, and the preacher
+said:
+
+"Suppose you were to find that your father was alive, and had searched
+everywhere for _you_, and that he thought of nothing but you, and was
+all the time hoping for your return--that he had grown old before his
+time, all because of his longing and sorrow for you?" The thief dropped
+his eyes, then his face twitched; at last he burst out crying. "Your
+father _is_ alive; he isn't far from this cabin; he's very sick; I've
+just left him. Nothing but the sight of you will do him any good; but I
+think so much of him that I'd rather kill you this instant than let him
+know what business you've been in."
+
+"Them's my sentiments, too," remarked the sheriff.
+
+"Let me see him!" exclaimed the prisoner, clasping and raising his
+manacled hands, while his face filled with an earnestness which was
+literally terrible--"let me see him, if it's only for a few minutes! You
+needn't be afraid that _I'll_ tell him what I am, and _you_ won't be
+mean enough to do it, if I don't try to run away. Have mercy on me! You
+don't know what it is to never have had anybody to love you, and then
+suddenly to find that there _is_ some one that wants you!"
+
+The preacher turned to the officer and said:
+
+"I'm a law-abiding citizen, sheriff."
+
+And the sheriff replied:
+
+"He's _your_ pris'ner."
+
+"Then suppose I let him go, on his promise to stick to his father for
+the rest of his life!"
+
+"He's your pris'ner," repeated the sheriff.
+
+"Suppose, then, I were to insist upon your taking him into custody."
+
+"Why, then," said the sheriff, speaking like a man in the depths of
+meditation, "I would let him go myself, and--and I'd have to shoot _you_
+to save my reputation as a faithful officer."
+
+The preacher made a peculiar face. The prisoner exclaimed:
+
+"Hurry, you brutes!"
+
+The preacher said, at last:
+
+"Let him loose."
+
+The sheriff removed the handcuffs, dived into his own pocket, brought
+out a pocket-comb and glass, and handed them to the thief; then he
+placed the lantern in front of him, and said:
+
+"Fix yourself up a little. Your hat's a miz'able one--I'll swap with
+you. You've got to make up some cock-and-bull story now, for the old
+man'll want to know everything. You might say you'd been a sheriff down
+South somewhere since you got away from the feller that owned you."
+
+The preacher paused over a knot in one of the cords on the prisoner's
+legs, and said:
+
+"Say you were a circuit-rider--that's more near the literal truth."
+
+The sheriff seemed to demur somewhat, and he said, at length:
+
+"Without meanin' any disrespect, parson, don't you think 'twould tickle
+the old man and the citizens more to think he'd been a sheriff? They
+wouldn't dare to ask him so many questions then, either. And it might be
+onhandy for him if he was asked to preach, while a smart horse-thief has
+naturally got some of the p'ints of a real sheriff about him."
+
+"You insist upon it that he's my prisoner," said the preacher, tugging
+away at his knot, "and I insist upon the circuit-rider story. And,"
+continued the young man, with one mighty pull at the knot, "he's _got_
+to be a circuit-rider, and I'm going to make one of him. Do you hear
+that, young man? I'm the man that's setting you free and giving you to
+your father!"
+
+"You can make anything you please out of me," said the prisoner. "Only
+hurry!"
+
+"As you say, parson," remarked the sheriff, with admirable meekness;
+"he's _your_ prisoner, but I _could_ make a splendid deputy out of him
+if you'd let him take my advice. And I'd agree to work for his
+nomination for my place when my term runs out. Think of what he might
+get to be!--there _has_ sheriffs gone to the Legislature, and I've heard
+of one that went to Congress."
+
+"Circuit-riders get higher than that, sometimes," said the preacher,
+leading his prisoner toward old Wardelow's cabin; "they get as high as
+heaven!"
+
+"Oh!" remarked the sheriff, and gave up the contest.
+
+Both men accompanied the prisoner toward his father's house. The
+preacher began to deliver some cautionary remarks, but the young man
+burst from him, threw open the door, and shouted:
+
+"Father!"
+
+The old man started from his bed, shaded his eyes, and exclaimed:
+
+"Stevie!"
+
+The father and son embraced, seeing which the sheriff proved that even
+sheriffs are human by snatching the circuit-rider in his arms and giving
+him a mighty hug.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The father recovered and lived happily. The son and the preacher
+fulfilled their respective promises, and the sheriff, always, on meeting
+either of them, so abounded in genial winks and effusive handshakings,
+that he nearly lost his next election by being suspected of having
+become religious himself.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+TOM CHAFFLIN'S LUCK.
+
+
+"Luck? Why, I never seed anything like it! Yer might give him the
+sweepin's of a saloon to wash, an' he'd pan out a nugget ev'ry time--do
+it ez shure as shootin'!"
+
+This rather emphatic speech proceeded one day from the lips of Cairo
+Jake, an industrious washer of the golden sands of California; but it
+was evident to all intelligent observers that even language so strong as
+to seem almost figurative did not fully express Cairo Jake's conviction,
+for he shook his head so positively that his hat fell off into the
+stream, which found a level only an inch or two below Jacob's boottops,
+and he stamped his right foot so vigorously as to endanger his
+equilibrium.
+
+"Well," sighed a discontented miner from New Jersey, "Providence knows
+His own bizness best, I s'pose; but I could have found him a feller that
+could have made a darn sight better use of his good luck--ef he'd had
+any--than Tom Chafflin. _He_ don't know nothin' 'bout the worth of
+money--never seed him drunk in my life, an' he don't seem to get no fun
+out of keerds."
+
+"Providence'll hev a season's job a-satisfyin' _you_, old Redbank,"
+replied Cairo Jake; "but it's all-fired queer, for all that. Ef a feller
+could only learn how he done it, 'twouldn't seem so funny; but he don't
+seem to have no way in p'tickler about him that a feller ken find out."
+
+"Fact," said Redbank, with a solemn groan. "I've studied his face--why,
+ef I'd studied half ez hard at school I'd be a president, or
+missionary, or somethin' now--but I don't make it out. Once I 'llowed
+'twas cos he didn't keer, an' was kind o' reckless--sort o' went it
+blind. So I tried it on a-playin' monte."
+
+"Well, how did it work?" asked the gentleman from Cairo.
+
+"Work?" echoed the Jerseyman, with the air of an unsuccessful candidate
+musing over the "saddest words of thought or pen;" "I started with
+thirteen ounces, an' in twenty minutes I was borryin' the price of a
+drink from the dealer. _That's_ how it worked."
+
+Certain other miners looked sorrowful; it was evident that they, too,
+had been reckless, and had trusted to luck, and that in a place where
+gold-digging and gambling were the only two means of proving the
+correctness of their theory, it was not difficult to imagine by which
+one they were disappointed.
+
+"Long an' short of it's jest this," resumed Cairo Jake, straightening
+himself for a moment, and picking some coarse gravel from his pan, "Tom
+Chafflin's always in luck. His claim pays better'n anybody else's; he
+always gets the lucky number at a raffle, his shovel don't never break,
+an' his chimbly ain't always catchin' a-fire. He's gone down to 'Frisco
+now, an' I'll bet a dozen ounces that jest cos he's aboard, the old
+boat'll go down an' back without runnin' aground a solitary durned
+time."
+
+No one took up Cairo Jake's bet, so that it was evident he uttered the
+general sentiment of the mining camp of Quicksilver Bar.
+
+Every man, in the temporary silence which followed Jake's summary, again
+bent industriously over his pan, until the scene suggested an amateur
+water-cure establishment returning thanks for basins of gruel, when
+suddenly the whole line was startled into suspension of labor by the
+appearance of London George, who was waving his hat with one hand and a
+red silk handkerchief with the other, while with his left foot he was
+performing certain _pas_ not necessary to successful pedestrianism.
+
+"Quicksilver Bar hain't up to snuff--oh, no! Ain't a-catchin' up with
+Frisco--not at all! Little Chestnut don't know how to run a saloon, an'
+make other shops weep--not in the least--not at all--oh, no!"
+
+"Eh?" inquired half a dozen.
+
+"Don't b'leeve me if you don't want to, but just bet against it 'fore
+you go to see--that's all!" continued London George, fanning himself
+with his hat.
+
+"George," said Judge Baggs, with considerable asperity, "ef you _are_ an
+Englishman, try to speak your native tongue, an' explain what you mean
+by actin' ez ef you'd jes' broke out of a lunatic 'sylum. Speak quick,
+or I'll fine you drinks for the crowd."
+
+"Just as lieve you would," said the unabashed Briton, "seein'--seein'
+Chestnut's got a female--a woman--a lady cashier--there! Guess them San
+Francisco saloons ain't the only ones that knows what's what--not any!"
+
+"I don't b'leeve a word of it," said the judge, washing his hands rather
+hastily; "but I'll jest see for myself."
+
+Cairo Jake looked thoughtfully on the retreating form of the judge, and
+remarked:
+
+"He'll feel ashamed of hisself when he gits thar an' finds he'll hev to
+drink alone. Reckon I'll go up, jest to keep him from feelin' bad."
+
+Several others seemed impressed by the same idea, and moved quite
+briskly in the direction of Chestnut's saloon.
+
+The judge, protected by his age and a pair of green spectacles, boldly
+entered, while his followers dispersed themselves sheepishly just
+outside the open door, past which they marched and re-marched as
+industriously as a lot of special sentries.
+
+There was no doubt about it. Chestnut had installed a lady at the end of
+the bar, and as, between breakfast and dinner, there was but little
+business done at the saloon, the lady was amusing herself by weighing
+corks and pebbles in the tiny scales which were to weigh the metallic
+equivalent for refreshments.
+
+The judge contemplated the arrangements with considerable satisfaction,
+and immediately called up all thirsty souls present.
+
+Those outside the door entered with the caution of veterans in an
+enemy's country, and with a bashfulness that was painful to contemplate.
+They stood before the bar, they glanced cautiously to the right, and
+gently inclined their heads backward, until only a line of eyes and
+noses were visible from the cashier's desk.
+
+Then the judge raised his green glasses a moment, and smiled benignantly
+on the new cashier as he raised his liquor aloft; then he turned to his
+party, and they drank the toast as solemnly as if they were the soldiers
+of Miles Standish fortifying the inner man against fear of the Pequods.
+Then they separated into small groups, and conversed gravely on subjects
+in which they had not the slightest interest, while each one pretended
+not to look toward the cashier, and each one saw what the others were
+earnestly striving to do.
+
+But when the judge settled the score, and chatted for several minutes
+with the receiver of treasure, and the lady--young, and rather pretty,
+and quite pleasant and modest and business-like--laughed merrily at
+something the judge said, an idea gradually dawned upon the bystanders,
+and within a few moments the boys feverishly awaited their chances to
+treat the crowd, for the sole purpose of having an excuse to speak to
+the new cashier, and to stand within three feet of her for about the
+space of a minute.
+
+Great was the excitement on the Creek when the party returned, and
+testified to the entire accuracy of London George's report.
+
+Every one went to the saloon that night--there _had_ been some games
+arranged to take place at certain huts, but they were postponed by
+mutual consent.
+
+Even the Dominie--an ex-preacher, who had never yet set foot upon the
+profane floor of the saloon--appeared there that evening in search of
+some one so exceeding hard to find that the Dominie was compelled to
+make several tours of all the tables and benches in the room.
+
+Chestnut himself, when questioned, said she had come by the way of the
+Isthmus with her father and mother, who had both died of the Chagres
+fever before reaching San Francisco--that some friends of her family and
+his had been trying to get her something to do in 'Frisco, and that he
+had engaged her at an ounce a day; and, furthermore, that he would be
+greatly obliged if the boys at Quicksilver wouldn't marry her before she
+had worked out her passage-money from 'Frisco, which he had advanced.
+But the boys at Quicksilver were not so thoughtful of Chestnut's
+interests as they might have been. They began to buy blacking and
+neckties and white shirts, and to patronize the barber.
+
+No one had any opportunity for love-making, for the lady's working hours
+were all spent in public, and in a business which caused frequent
+interruptions of even the most agreeable conversation.
+
+It soon became understood that certain men had proposed and been
+declined, and betting on who would finally capture the lady was the most
+popular excitement in camp.
+
+Cool-headed betting men watched closely the countenance of Sunrise (as
+some effusive miner had named the new cashier) as each man approached to
+pay in his coin or dust, and though they were intensely disgusted by its
+revelations, they unhesitatingly offered two to one that Dominie would
+be the fortunate man.
+
+To be sure, she saw less of the Dominie than of any one else, for,
+though he did not drink, or pay for the liquor consumed by any one else,
+he occasionally came in to get a large coin changed, and then it was
+noticed that Sunrise regarded him with a sort of earnestness which she
+never exhibited toward any one else.
+
+"Too bad!" sighed Cairo Jake. "Somebody ort to tell her that he's only a
+preacher, an' she'll only throw herself away ef she takes him. Ef any
+stranger wuz to insult her, Dominie wouldn't be man 'nuff to draw on
+him."
+
+"Beats thunder, though!" sighed Redbank, "how them preachers kin take
+folks in. Thar's Chestnut himself, _he's_ took with Dominie--'stead of
+orderin' him out, he talks with him an' her just ez ef he'd as lieve get
+rid of her as not."
+
+[Illustration: TOM WALKED RAPIDLY TO THE CASHIER'S DESK, AND GAVE
+SUNRISE SEVERAL HEARTY KISSES.]
+
+"Boat's a-comin'!" shouted Cairo Jake, looking toward the place, half a
+mile below, where the creek emptied into the river. "See her smoke? Like
+'nuff Tom Chafflin's on board. He wuz a-goin' to try to come back by the
+first boat, an' of course he's done it--jest his luck. Ef he'd only come
+sooner, somebody besides the preacher would hev got her--you kin just
+bet your bottom ounce on it. Let's go down an' see ef he's got any
+news."
+
+Several miners dropped tools and pans, and followed Jake to the landing,
+and gave a hearty welcome to Tom Chafflin.
+
+He certainly looked like anything but a lucky man; he was good-looking,
+and seemed smart, but his face wore a dismal expression, which seemed
+decidedly out of place on the countenance of a habitually lucky man.
+
+"Things hain't gone right, Tom?" asked Cairo Jake.
+
+"Never went worse," declared Tom, gloomily. "Guess I'll sell out, an'
+try my luck somewheres else."
+
+"_Ef_ you'd only come a little sooner!" sighed Jake, "you'd hev hed a
+chance that would hev made ev'rything seem to go right till Judgment
+Day. I'll show yer."
+
+Jake opened the saloon-door, and there sat Sunrise, as bright, modest,
+and pleasant-looking as ever.
+
+With the air of a man who has conferred a great benefit, and is calmly
+awaiting his rightful reward, Jake turned to Tom; but his expression
+speedily changed to one of hopeless wonder, and then to one of delight,
+as Tom Chafflin walked rapidly up to the cashier's desk, pushed the
+Dominie one side and the little scales the other, and gave Sunrise
+several very hearty kisses, to which the lady didn't make the slightest
+objection--in fact, she blushed deeply, and seemed very happy.
+
+"That's what I went to 'Frisco to look for," explained Tom, to the
+staring bystander, "but I couldn't find out a word about her."
+
+"Don't wonder yer looked glum, then," said Cairo Jake; "but--but it's
+jest your luck!"
+
+"Dominie here was going down to hurry you back," said Sunrise; "but--"
+
+"But we'll give him a different job now, my dear," said Tom, completing
+the sentence.
+
+And they did.
+
+
+
+
+OLD TWITCHETT'S TREASURE.
+
+
+Old Twitchett was in a very bad way. He must have been in a bad way, for
+Crockey, the extremely mean storekeeper at Bender, had given up his own
+bed to Twitchett, and when Crockey was moved with sympathy for any one,
+it was a sure sign that the object of his commiseration was going to
+soon stake a perpetual claim in a distant land, whose very streets, we
+are told, are of precious metal, and whose walls and gates are of rare
+and beautiful stones.
+
+It was Twitchett's own fault, the boys said, with much sorrowful
+profanity. When they abandoned Black Peter Gulch to the Chinese, and
+located at Bender, Twitchett should have come along with the crowd,
+instead of staying there by himself, in such an unsociable way. Perhaps
+he preferred the society of rattlesnakes and horned toads to that of
+high-toned, civilized beings--there was no accounting for tastes--but
+then he should have remembered that all the rattlesnakes in the valley
+couldn't have raised a single dose of quinine between them, and that the
+most sociable horned toad in the world, and the most obliging one,
+couldn't fry a sick man's pork, or make his coffee.
+
+But, then, Twitchett was queer, they agreed--he always was queer. He
+kept himself so much apart from the crowd, that until to-night, when the
+boys were excited about him, few had ever noticed that he was a
+white-haired, delicate young man, instead of a decrepit old one, and
+that the twitching of his lips was rather touching than comical.
+
+At any rate it was good for Twitchett that two old residents of Black
+Peter Gulch had, ignorant of the abandonment of the camp, revisited it,
+and accidentally found him insensible, yet alive, on the floor of his
+hut. They had taken turns in carrying him--for he was wasted and
+light--until they reached Crockey's store, and when they laid him down,
+while they should drink, the proprietor of the establishment (so said a
+pessimist in the camp), seeing that his presence, while he lived, and
+until he was buried, would attract trade and increase the demand for
+drinks, insisted on putting Twitchett between the proprietary blankets.
+
+Twitchett had rallied a little, thanks to some of Crockey's best brandy,
+but it was evident to those who saw him that when he left Crockey's he
+would be entirely unconscious of the fact. Suddenly Twitchett seemed to
+realize as much himself, and to imagine that his exit might be made very
+soon, for he asked for the men who brought him in, and motioned to them
+to kneel beside him.
+
+"I'm very grateful, boys, for your kindness--I wish I could reward you;
+but haven't got anything--I've got nothing at all. The only treasure I
+had I buried--buried it in the hut, when I thought I was going to die
+alone--I didn't wan't those heathens to touch it. I put it in a can--I
+wish you'd git it, and--it's a dying man's last request--take it--and--"
+
+If Twitchett finished his remark, it was heard only by auditors in some
+locality yet unvisited by Sam Baker and Boylston Smith, who still knelt
+beside the dead man's face, and with averted eyes listened for the
+remainder of Twitchett's last sentence.
+
+Slowly they comprehended that Twitchett was in a condition which,
+according to a faithful proverb, effectually precluded the telling of
+tales; then they gazed solemnly into each other's faces, and each man
+placed his dexter fore-finger upon his lips. Then Boylston Smith
+whispered:
+
+"Virtue is its own reward--hey, Sam?"
+
+"You bet," whispered Mr. Baker, in reply. "It's on the square now,
+between us?"
+
+"Square as a die," whispered Boylston.
+
+"When'll we go for it?" asked Sam Baker.
+
+"Can't go till after the fun'ril," virtuously whispered Boylston.
+"'Twould be mighty ungrateful to go back on the corpse that's made our
+fortunes."
+
+"Fact," remarked Mr. Baker, holding near the nostrils of Old Twitchett a
+pocket-mirror he had been polishing on his sleeve. After a few seconds
+he examined the mirror, and whispered:
+
+"Nary a sign--might's well tell the boys."
+
+The announcement of Twitchett's death was the signal for an animated
+discussion and considerable betting. How much dust he had washed, and
+what he had done with it, seeing that he neither drank nor gambled, was
+the sole theme of discussion. There was no debate on the deceased's
+religious evidences--no distribution of black crape--no tearful beating
+down of the undertaker; these accessories of a civilized deathbed were
+all scornfully disregarded by the bearded men who had feelingly drank to
+Twitchett's good luck in whatever world he had gone to. But when it came
+to deceased's gold--his money--the bystanders exhibited an interest
+which was one of those touches of nature which certifies the universal
+kinship.
+
+Each man knew all about Twitchett's money, though no two agreed. He had
+hid it--he had been unlucky, and had not found much--he had slyly sent
+it home--he had wasted it by sending it East for lottery tickets which
+always drew blanks--he had been supporting a benevolent institution. Old
+Deacon Baggs mildly suggested that perhaps he only washed out such gold
+as he actually needed to purchase eatables with, but the boys smiled
+derisively--they didn't like to laugh at the deacon's gray hairs, but he
+_was_ queer.
+
+Old Twitchett was buried, and Sam Baker and Boylston Smith reverently
+uncovered with the rest of the boys, while Deacon Baggs made an
+extempore prayer. But for the remainder of the day Old Twitchett's
+administrators foamed restlessly about, and watched each other narrowly,
+and listened to the conversation of every group of men who seemed to be
+talking with any spirit; they kept a sharp eye on the trail to Black
+Peter Gulch, lest some unscrupulous miner should suspect the truth and
+constitute himself sole legatee.
+
+But when the shades of evening had gathered, and a few round drinks had
+stimulated the citizens to more spirited discussion, Sam and Boylston
+strode rapidly out on the Black Peter Gulch trail, to obtain the reward
+of virtue.
+
+"He didn't say what kind of a can it was," remarked Mr. Baker, after the
+outskirts of Bender had been left behind.
+
+"Just what I thought," replied Boylston; "pity he couldn't hev lasted
+long enough for us to hev asked him. But I've been a-workin' some sums
+about different kinds of cans--I learned how from Phipps, this
+afternoon--he's been to college, an' his head's cram-full of sech
+puzzlin' things. It took multiplyin' with four figures to git the
+answer, but I couldn't take a peaceful drink till I knowed somethin'
+'bout how the find would pan out."
+
+"Well?" inquired Mr. Baker, anathematizing a stone over which he had
+just stumbled.
+
+"Well," replied Boylston, stopping in an exasperating manner to light
+his pipe, "the smallest can a-goin' is a half-pound powder-can, and
+that'll hold over two thousand dollars worth--even _that_ wouldn't be
+bad for a single night's work--eh?"
+
+"Just so," responded Mr. Baker; "then there's oyster-cans an'
+meat-cans."
+
+"Yes," said Boylston, "an' the smallest of 'em's good fur ten thousand,
+ef it's full. An' when yer come to five-pound powders--why, one of them
+would make two fellers rich!"
+
+They passed quickly and quietly through Greenhorn's Bar. The diggings
+at the Bar were very rich, and experienced poker-players, such as were
+Twitchett's executors, had made snug little sums in a single night out
+of the innocent countrymen who had located at the Bar; but what were the
+chances of the most brilliant game to the splendid certainty which lay
+before them?
+
+They reached Black Peter Gulch and found Twitchett's hut still
+unoccupied, save by a solitary rattlesnake, whose warning scared them
+not. Mr. Baker carefully covered the single window with his coat, and
+then Boylston lit a candle and examined the clay floor. There were
+several little depressions in its surface, and in each of these Boylston
+vigorously drove his pick, while Mr. Baker stood outside alternately
+looking out for would-be disturbers, and looking in through a crack in
+the door to see that his partner should not, in case he found the can,
+absentmindedly spill some of the contents into his own pocket before he
+made a formal division.
+
+Boylston stopped a moment for breath, leaned on his pick, stroked his
+yellow beard thoughtfully, and offered to bet that it would be an
+oyster-can. Mr. Baker whispered through the crack that he would take
+that bet, and make it an ounce.
+
+Boylston again bent to the labor, which, while it wearied his body,
+seemed to excite his imagination, for he paused long enough to bet that
+it would be a five-pound powder-can, and Mr. Baker, again willing to
+fortify himself against possible loss, accepted the bet in ounces.
+
+Suddenly Boylston's pick brought to light something yellow and
+round--something the size of an oyster-can, and wrapped in a piece of
+oilskin.
+
+"You've won _one_, bet," whispered Mr. Baker, who was inside before the
+yellow package had ceased rolling across the floor.
+
+"Not ef _this_ is it," growled Boylston; "it don't weigh more'n ounce
+can, wrapper and all. Might's well see what 'tis, though."
+
+The two men approached the candle, hastily tore off the oilskin, and
+carefully shook the contents from the can. The contents proved to be a
+small package, labeled: "_My only treasures_."
+
+Boylston mentioned the name of the arch-adversary of souls, while Mr.
+Baker, with a well-directed blow of his heel, reduced the can from a
+cylindrical form to one not easily described by any geometric term.
+
+Unwrapping the package, Mr. Baker discovered a picture-case, which, when
+opened, disclosed the features of a handsome young lady; while from the
+wrappings fell a small envelope, which seemed distended in the middle.
+
+"Gold in that, mebbe," suggested Boylston, picking it up and opening it.
+It _was_ gold; fine, yellow, and brilliant, but not the sort of gold the
+dead man's friends were seeking, for it was a ringlet of hair.
+
+Sadly Mr. Baker put on his coat, careless of the light which streamed
+through the window; slowly and sorely they wended their way homeward;
+wrathfully they bemoaned their wasted time, as they passed by the
+auriferous slumberers of Greenhorn's Bar; depressing was the general
+nature of their conversation. Yet they were human in spite of their
+disappointment, for, as old Deacon Baggs, who was an early riser,
+strolled out in the gray dawn for a quiet season of meditation, he saw
+Boylston Smith filling up a little hole he had made on top of Old
+Twitchett's grave, and putting the dirt down very tenderly with his
+hands.
+
+
+
+
+BLIZZER'S WIFE.
+
+
+The mining-camp of Tough Case, though small, had its excitements, as
+well as did many camps of half a dozen saloon-power; and on the first
+day of November, 1850, it was convulsed by the crisis of by far the
+greatest excitement it had ever enjoyed.
+
+It was not a lucky "find," for some of the largest nuggets in the State
+had been taken out at Tough Case. It was not a grand spree, for _all_
+sprees at Tough Case were grand, and they took place every Sunday. It
+was not a fight, for when the average of fully-developed fights fell
+below one a fortnight, some patriotic citizen would improvise one, that
+the honor of his village should not suffer.
+
+No; all these promoters of delicious and refreshing Tumult were as
+nothing to the agitation which, commencing three months before, had
+increased and taken firmer hold of all hearts at Tough Case, until
+to-day it had reached its culmination.
+
+Blizzer's wife had come out, and was to reach camp by that day's boat.
+
+Since Blizzer had first announced his expectation, every man in camp had
+been secretly preparing for the event; but to-day all secrecy was at an
+end, and white shirts, standing collars, new pants, black hats, polished
+boots, combs, brushes and razors, and even hair-oil and white
+handkerchiefs, so transformed the tremulous miners, that a smart
+detective would have been puzzled in looking for any particular citizen
+of Tough Case.
+
+Even old Hatchetjaw, whose nickname correctly indicated the moral
+import of his countenance, sheepishly gave Moosoo, the old Frenchman, an
+ounce of gold-dust for an hour's labor bestowed on Hatchetjaw's
+self-asserting red hair.
+
+Bets as to what she looked like were numerous; and, as no one had the
+slightest knowledge on the subject, experienced bettists made handsome
+fortunes in betting against every description which was backed by money.
+For each man had so long pondered over the subject, that his ideal
+portrait seemed to him absolutely correct; and an amateur phrenologist,
+who had carefully studied Blizzer's cranium and the usually accepted
+laws of affinity, consistently bet his last ounce, his pistol, hut,
+frying-pan, blankets, and even a pack of cards in a tolerable state of
+preservation.
+
+Sailors, collegemen, Pikes, farmers, clerks, loafers, and
+sentimentalists, stood in front of Sim Ripson's store, and stared their
+eyes into watery redness in vain attempts to hurry the boat.
+
+A bet of drinks for the crowd, lost by the non-arrival of the boat on
+time, was just being paid, when Sim Ripson, whose bar-window commanded
+the river, exclaimed:
+
+"She's comin'!"
+
+Many were the heeltaps left in glasses as the crowd hurried to the door;
+numerous were the stealthy glances bestowed on shirt-cuffs and
+finger-nails and boot-legs. Crosstree, a dandyish young sailor, hung
+back to regard himself in a small fragment of looking-glass he carried
+in his pocket, but was rebuked for his vanity by stumbling over the
+door-sill--an operation which finally resulted in his nose being laid up
+in ordinary.
+
+The little steamer neared the landing, whistled shrilly, snorted
+defiantly, buried her nose in the muddy bank in front of the store, and
+shoved out a plank.
+
+Several red-shirted strangers got off, but no one noticed them; at any
+other time, so large an addition to the population of Tough Case would
+have justified an extra spree.
+
+Sundry barrels were rolled out, but not even old Guzzle inspected the
+brand; barrels and bags of onions and potatoes were stacked on the bank,
+but though the camp was sadly in need of vegetables, no one expressed
+becoming exultation.
+
+All eyes were fixed on the steamer-end of the gang-plank, and every
+heart beat wildly as Blizzer appeared, leading a figure displaying only
+the top of a big bonnet and a blanket-shawl hanging on one arm.
+
+They stepped on the gang-plank, they reached the shore, and then the
+figure raised its head and dropped the shawl.
+
+"Thunder!" ejaculated Fourteenth Street, and immediately retired and
+drank himself into a deplorable condition.
+
+The remaining observers dispersed respectfully; but the reckless manner
+in which they wandered through mud-puddles and climbed over barrels and
+potato-sacks, indicated plainly that their disappointment had been
+severe.
+
+After another liquid bet had been paid, and while sleeves but lately
+tenderly protected were carelessly drying damp mustaches, an old miner
+remarked:
+
+"Reckon that's why he left the States;" and the emphatic "You bet!"
+which followed his words showed that the Tough Caseites were unanimous
+on the subject of Mrs. Blizzer.
+
+For she was short and fat, and had a pug nose, and a cast in one eye;
+her forehead was low and square, and her hair was of a color which
+seemed "fugitive," as the paper-makers say. Her hands were large and
+pudgy, her feet afforded broad foundations for the structure above them,
+and her gait was not suggestive of any popular style. Besides, she
+seemed ten years older than her husband, who was not yet thirty.
+
+For several days boots were allowed to grow rusty and chins unshaven, as
+the boys gradually drank and worked themselves into a dumb forgetfulness
+of their lately cherished ideals.
+
+But one evening, during a temporary lull in the conversation at Sim
+Ripson's, old Uncle Ben, ex-deacon of a New Hampshire church, lifted up
+his voice, and remarked:
+
+"'Pears to me Blizzer's beginnin' to look scrumptious. He used to be the
+shabbiest man in camp."
+
+Through the open door the boys saw Blizzer carrying a pail of water; and
+though water-carrying in the American manner is not an especially
+graceful performance, Blizzer certainly looked unusually neat.
+
+Palette, who had spoiled many canvases and paintbrushes in the East,
+attentively studied Blizzer in detail, and found his hair was combed,
+his shirt buttoned at the collar, and his trowsers lacking the
+California soil which always adorns the seat and knees of orthodox
+mining pantaloons.
+
+"It's her as did it," said Pat Fadden; "an' 'tain't all she's done. Fhat
+d'ye tink she did dhis mornin'? I was a-fixin' me pork, jist as ivery
+other bye in camp allers does it, an' jist then who should come along
+but hersilf. I tuk off me pork, and comminced me breakfast, when sez she
+to me, sez she, 'Ye don't ate it widout gravy, do ye?' 'Gravy, is it?'
+sez I. 'Nobody iver heard of gravy here,' sez I. 'Thin it's toime,' sez
+she, an' she poured off the fat, an' crumbled a bit of cracker in the
+pan, an' put in some wather, an' whin I thought the ould thing 'ud blow
+up for the shteam it made, she poured the gravy on me plate--yes, she
+did."
+
+There were but a few men at Tough Case who were not willing to have
+their daily fare improved, and as Mrs. Blizzer did not make a tour of
+instruction, the boys made it convenient to stand near Mrs. Blizzer's
+own fire, and see the mysteries of cooking.
+
+As a natural consequence, Sim Ripson began to have inquiries for
+articles which he had never heard of, much less sold, and he found a
+hurried trip to 'Frisco was an actual business necessity.
+
+As several miners took their departure, after one of these culinary
+lessons, Arkansas Bill, with a mysterious air, took Fourteenth Street
+aside.
+
+"Forty," said he, in a most appealing tone, "ken _you_ see what 'twas
+about? She kep' a-lookin' at my left han' all the time, ez ef she thort
+there wuz somethin' the matter with it. Mebbe she thort I was tuckin'
+biscuits up my sleeves, like keerds in a live game. _Ken_ you see any
+thin' the matter with that paw?"
+
+The aristocratic young reprobate gave the hand a critical glance, and
+replied:
+
+"Perhaps she thought you didn't know what buttons and buttonholes were
+made for."
+
+"Thunder!" exclaimed the miner, with an expression of countenance which
+Archimedes might have worn when he made his famous discovery.
+
+From that day forward the gentleman from Arkansas instituted a rigid
+buttonhole inspection before venturing from his hut, besides purchasing
+a share in a new clothesbroom.
+
+"'Pears to me I don't see Blizzer playin' keerds with you fellers ez
+much ez he wuz," remarked Uncle Ben one evening at the store.
+
+"No," said Flipp, the champion euchre-player, with a sad face and a
+strong oath. "He used to lose his ounces like a man. But t'other night I
+knocked at his door, and asked him to come down an' hev a han'. He
+didn't say nothin', but _she_ up an' sed he'd stopped playin'. I reely
+tuk it to be my duty to argy with her, an' show her how tough it wuz to
+cut off a feller's enjoyment; but she sed 'twas too high-priced fur the
+fun it fetched."
+
+"That ain't the wust, nuther," said Topjack Flipp's usual partner.
+"There wuz Arkansas Bill an' Jerry Miller, thet used to be ez fond of
+ther little game ez anybody. Now, ev'ry night they go up thar to
+Blizzer's, an' jest do nothin' but sit aroun' an' talk. It's enough to
+make a marble statoo cuss to see good men spiled that way."
+
+"Somethin' 'stonishin' 'bout what comes of it, though," resumed the
+deacon. "'Twas only yestiddy thet Bill was kerryin' a bucket of dirt to
+the crick, an' jest ez he got there his foot slipped in, an' he went
+kerslosh. Knowin' Bill's language on sech occasions ain't what a
+church-member ort to hear, I was makin' it convenient to leave, when
+along come _her_, an' he choked off ez suddin ez a feller on the
+gallers."
+
+Day by day the boys dug dirt, and carried it to the creek, and washed
+out the precious gold; day by day the denizens of Tough Case worked as
+many hours and as industriously as men anywhere. But no Tough Caseite
+was so wicked as to work on Sunday.
+
+Sunday at Tough Case commenced at sunset on Saturday, after the good old
+Puritan fashion, and lasted through until working-time on Monday
+morning. But beyond this matter of time the Puritan parallel could not
+be pursued, for on Sunday was transacted all the irregular business of
+the week; on Sunday was done all the hard drinking and heavy gambling;
+and on Sunday were settled such personal difficulties as were superior
+to the limited time and low liquor-pressure of the week.
+
+The evening sun of the first Saturday of Mrs. Blizzer's residence at
+Tough Case considered his day's work done, and retired under the snowy
+coverlets the Sierras lent him. The tired miners gladly dropped pick,
+shovel, and pan, but bedclothing was an article which at that moment
+they scorned to consider; there was important business and
+entertainment, which would postpone sleep for many hours.
+
+The express would be along in the morning, and no prudent man could
+sleep peaceably until he had deposited his gold dust in the company's
+strong box. Then there were two or three old feuds which _might_ come to
+a head--they always _did_ on Sunday. And above all, Redwing, a man with
+enormous red whiskers, had been threatening all week to have back the
+money Flipp had won from him on the preceding Sunday, and Redwing had
+been very lucky in his claim all week, and the two men were very nearly
+matched, and were magnificent players, so the game promised to last many
+hours, and afford handsome opportunities for outside betting.
+
+Sim Ripson understood his business. By sunset he had all his bottles
+freshly filled, and all his empty boxes distributed about the room for
+seats, and twice as many candles lighted as usual, and the card-tables
+reinforced by some upturned barrels. He also had a neat little woodpile
+under the bar to serve as a barricade against stray shots.
+
+The boys dropped in pleasantly, two or three at a time, and drank
+merrily with each other; and the two or three who were not drinking men
+sauntered in to compare notes with the others.
+
+There were no aristocrats or paupers at Tough Case, nor any cliques;
+whatever the men were at home, here they were equal, and Sim Ripson's
+was the general gathering-place for everybody.
+
+But in the course of two or three hours there was a perceptible change
+of the general tone at Sim Ripson's--it was so every Saturday night, or
+Sunday morning. Old Hatchetjaw said it was because Sim Ripson's liquor
+wasn't good; Moosoo, the Frenchman, maintained it was due to the absence
+of chivalrous spirit; Crosstree, the sailor, said it was always so with
+landsmen; Fourteenth Street privately confided to several that 'twas
+because there was no good blood in camp; the amateur phrenologist
+ascribed it to an undue cerebral circulation; and Uncle Ben, the deacon,
+insisted upon it that the fiend, personally, was the disturbing element.
+
+Probably all of them were right, for it seemed impossible that the
+Sunday excitements at Sim Ripson's could proceed from any single
+cause--their proportions were too magnificent.
+
+Drinking, singing, swearing, gambling, and fighting, the Tough Caseites
+made night so hideous that Uncle Ben spent half the night in earnest
+prayer for these misguided men, and the remainder of it in trying to
+make up his mind to start for home.
+
+But by far the greater number of the boys, on that particular night,
+surrounded the table at which sat Redwing and Flip. Both were playing
+their best, and as honestly as each was compelled to do by his
+adversary's watchfulness.
+
+Each had several times accused the other of cheating; each had his
+revolver at his right hand; and the crowd about them had the double
+pleasure of betting on the game and on which would shoot first.
+
+Suddenly Redwing arose, as Flipp played an ace on his adversary's last
+card, and raked the dust toward himself.
+
+"Yer tuk that ace out of yer sleeve--I seed yer do it. Give me back my
+ounces," said Redwing.
+
+"It's a lie!" roared the great Flipp, springing to his feet, and seizing
+Redwing's pistol-arm.
+
+The weapon fell, and both men clutched like tigers. Sim Ripson leaped
+over the bar and separated them.
+
+"No rasslin' here!" said he. "When gentlemen gits too mad to hold in,
+an' shoots at sight, I hev to stan' it, but rasslin's vulgar--you'll hev
+to go out o' doors to do it."
+
+"I'll hev it out with him with pistols, then!" cried Redwing, picking up
+his weapon.
+
+"'Greed!" roared Flip, whose pistol lay on the table. "We'll do it cross
+the crick, at daylight.
+
+"It's daylight now," said Sim Ripson, hurriedly, after looking out of
+his window at the end of the bar.
+
+He was a good storekeeper, was Sam Ripson, and he knew how to mix
+drinks, but he had an unconquerable aversion to washing blood stains out
+of the floor.
+
+The two gamblers rushed out of the door, pistols in hand, and the crowd
+followed, each man talking at the top of his voice, and betting on the
+chances of the combatants.
+
+Suddenly, above all the noise, they heard a cracked soprano voice
+singing with some unauthorized flatting and sharping:
+
+  "Another six days' work is done,
+  Another Sabbath is begun.
+  Return, my soul, enjoy thy rest,
+  Improve the day thy God has blessed."
+
+Redwing stopped, and dropped his head to one side, as if expecting
+more; Flipp stopped; everybody did. Arkansas Bill, whose good habits had
+been laid aside late Saturday afternoon, exclaimed:
+
+"Well, I'll be blowed!"
+
+Bill didn't mean anything of the sort, but the tone in which he said it
+expressed precisely the feeling of the crowd. The voice was again heard:
+
+  "Oh, that our thoughts and thanks may rise,
+  As grateful incense to the skies;
+  And draw from heaven that sweet repose
+  Which none but he that feels it knows."
+
+Redwing turned abruptly on his heel.
+
+"Keep the ounces," said he. "Ther's an old woman to hum that thinks a
+sight o' me--I reckon, myself, I'm good fur somethin' besides fillin' a
+hole in the ground."
+
+That night Sim Ripson complained that it had been the poorest Sunday he
+had ever had at Tough Case; the boys drank, but it was a sort of
+nerveless, unbusinesslike way that Sim Ripson greatly regretted; and
+very few bets were settled in Sim Ripson's principal stock in trade.
+
+When Sim finally learned the cause of his trouble, he promptly announced
+his intention of converting Mrs. Blizzer to common sense, and as he had
+argued Uncle Ben, first into a perfect frenzy and then into silence, the
+crowd considered Mrs. Blizzer's faith doomed.
+
+Monday morning, bright and early, as men with aching heads were taking
+their morning bitters, Mrs. Blizzer appeared at Sim Ripson's store, and
+purchased a bar of soap.
+
+"Boys heard ye singin' yesterday," said Sim.
+
+"Yes?" inquired Mrs. Blizzer.
+
+"Yes--all of 'em delighted," said Sim, gallantly. "But ye don't believe
+in no sich stuff, I s'pose, do ye?"
+
+"What stuff?" asked Mrs. Blizzer.
+
+"Why, 'bout heaven an' hell, an' the Bible, an' all them things. Do ye
+know what the Greek fur hell meant? An' do ye know the Bible's all the
+time contradictin' itself?" I can show ye--"
+
+"I tell you what I _do_ know, Mr. Ripson," said the woman; "I know some
+things in my heart that no mortal bein' never told me, an' they couldn't
+be skeered out by all the dictionaries an' commentators a-goin; that's
+what I know."
+
+And Mrs. Blizzer departed, while the astonished theologian sheepishly
+admitted that he owed drinks to the crowd.
+
+While the ex-deacon, Uncle Ben, was trying to determine to go home, he
+found quite a pretty nugget that settled his mind, and he announced that
+same night, at the store, that all his mining property was for sale, as
+he was going back East.
+
+"I'll go with you, Uncle Ben," said Fourteenth Street.
+
+The crowd was astounded; men of Fourteenth Street's calibre seldom had
+pluck enough to go to the mines, and their getting away, or their doing
+_any_ thing that required manliness, was of still more unfrequent
+occurrence.
+
+"I know it," said the young man, translating the glances which met his
+eye. "You fellows think I don't amount to much, anyway. Perhaps I don't.
+I came out here because I fell out with a girl I thought I loved. She
+acted like a fool, and I made up my mind _all_ women were fools. But
+that wife of Blizzer's has shown me more about true womanliness than all
+the girls I ever knew, and I'm going back to try it over again."
+
+One morning a small crowd of early drinkers at Sim Ripson's dropped
+their glasses, yet did not go briskly out to work as usual. In fact,
+they even hung aloof, in a most ungentlemanly manner, from Jerry Miller,
+who had just stood treat, and both these departures from the usual
+custom indicated that something unusual was the matter. Finally, Topjack
+remarked:
+
+"He's a stranger, an' typhus is a bad thing to hev aroun', but
+_somethin'_ 'ort to be done for him. 'Taint the thing to ax fur
+volunteers, fur it's danger without no chance of pleasin' excitement. We
+might throw keerds aroun', one to each feller in the camp, and him as
+gets ace of spades is to tend to the poor cuss."
+
+"I think Jerry ought to go himself," argued Flipp.
+
+"He's been exposed already, by lookin' in to the feller's shanty, an's
+prob'bly hurt ez bad as he's goin' to be."
+
+"I might go," said Sim Ripson, who, in his character of barkeeper, had
+to sustain a reputation for bravery and public spirit, "but 'twouldn't
+do to shut up the store, ye know, an' specially the bar--nobody'd stan'
+it."
+
+"Needn't trouble yerselves," said Arkansas Bill, who had entered during
+the conversation; "_she's_ thar."
+
+"Thunder!" exclaimed Topjack, frowning, and then looking sheepish.
+
+"Yes," continued Bill; "she stopped me ez I wuz comin' along, an' sed
+she'd jist heerd of it, an' was a-goin'. I tol' her ther' wuz men enough
+in camp to look out fur him, but she said she reckoned she could do it
+best. Wants some things from 'Frisco, though, an' I'm a-goin' for 'em."
+
+And Arkansas Bill departed, while the men at Sim Ripson's sneaked
+guiltily down to the creek.
+
+For many days the boys hung about the camp's single street every
+morning, unwilling to go to work until they had seen Mrs. Blizzer appear
+in front of the sick man's hut. The boys took turns at carrying water,
+making fires, and serving Mrs. Blizzer generally, and even paid
+handsomely for the chance.
+
+One morning Mrs. Blizzer failed to appear at the usual hour. The boys
+walked about nervously--they smoked many pipes, and took hurried drinks,
+and yet she did not appear. The boys looked suggestingly at her husband,
+and he himself appeared to be anxious; but being one of the shiftless
+kind, he found anxiety far easier than action.
+
+Suddenly Arkansas Bill remarked, "I can't stan' it any longer," and
+walked rapidly toward the sick man's hut, and knocked lightly on the
+door, and looked in. There lay the sick man, his eyes partly open, and
+on the ground, apparently asleep, and with a very purple face, lay Mrs.
+Blizzer.
+
+"Do somethin' for her," gasped the sick man; "give her a chance, for
+God's sake. I don't know how long I've been here, but I kind o' woke up
+las' night ez ef I'd been asleep; she wuz a-standin' lookin' in my
+eyes, an' hed a han' on my cheek. 'I b'lieve it's turned,' sez she,
+still a-lookin'. After a bit she sez: 'It's turned sure,' an' all of a
+sudden she tumbled. I couldn't holler--I wish to God I could."
+
+[Illustration: ARKANSAS BILL KNOCKED LIGHTLY ON THE DOOR, AND LOOKED IN.
+THERE LAY THE SICK MAN, HIS EYES PARTLY OPEN. AND ON THE GROUND,
+APPARENTLY ASLEEP, AND WITH PURPLE FACE, LAY MRS. BLIZZER.]
+
+Arkansas Bill opened the door, and called Blizzer, and the crowd
+followed Blizzer, though at a respectful distance. In a moment Blizzer
+reappeared with his wife, no longer fat, in his arms, and Arkansas Bill
+hurried on to open Blizzer's door. The crowd halted, and didn't know
+what to do, until Moosoo, the little Frenchman, lifted his hat, upon,
+which every man promptly uncovered his head.
+
+A moment later Arkansas Bill was on Sim Ripson's horse, and galloping
+off for a doctor, and Sim Ripson, who had always threatened sudden death
+to any one touching his beloved animal, saw him, and refrained even from
+profanity. The doctor came, and the boys crowded the door to hear what
+he had to say.
+
+"Hum!" said the doctor, a rough miner himself, "new arrival--been
+fat--worn out--rainy season just coming on--not much chance. No business
+to come to California--ought to have had sense enough to stay home."
+
+"Look a' here, doctor," said Arkansas Bill, indignantly; "she's got this
+way a-nussin' a feller--stranger, too--that ev'ry _man_ in camp wuz
+afeard to go nigh."
+
+"Is that so?" asked the doctor, in a tone considerably softened; "then
+she shall get well, if my whole time and attention can bring it about."
+
+The sick woman lay in a burning fever for days, and the boys
+industriously drank her health, and bet heavy odds on her recovery. No
+singing was 'allowed anywhere in camp, and when an old feud broke out
+afresh between two miners, and they drew their pistols, a committee was
+appointed to conduct them at least two miles from camp, before allowing
+them to shoot.
+
+The Sundays were allowed to pass in the commonplace quietness peculiar
+to the rest of the week, and men who were unable to forego their regular
+weekly spree were compelled to emigrate. Sim Ripson, though admitting
+that the change was decidedly injurious to his business, declared that
+he would cheerfully be ruined in business rather than have that woman
+disturbed; he was ever heard to say that, though of course there was no
+such place as heaven, there _ought_ to be, for such woman.
+
+One evening, as the crowd were quietly drinking and betting, Arkansas
+Bill suddenly opened the door of the store, and cried: "She's mendin'!
+The fever's broke--'sh-h!"
+
+"My treat, boys," said Sim Ripson, hurrying glasses and favorite bottles
+on the bar.
+
+The boys were just clinking glasses with Blizzer himself, who, during
+his wife's absence and illness, had drifted back to the store, when
+Arkansas Bill again opened the door.
+
+"She's a-sinkin', all of a sudden!" he gasped. "Blizzer, yer wanted."
+
+The two men hurried away, and the crowd poured out of the store. By the
+light of a fire in front of the hut in which the sick woman lay, they
+saw Blizzer enter, and Arkansas Bill remain outside the hut, near the
+door.
+
+The boys stood on one foot, put their hands into their pockets and took
+them out again, snapped their fingers, and looked at each other, as if
+they wanted to talk about something that they couldn't. Suddenly the
+doctor emerged from the hut, and said something to Arkansas Bill, and
+the boys saw Arkansas Bill put both hands up to his face. Then the boys
+knew that their sympathy could help Blizzer's wife no longer.
+
+Slowly the crowd re-entered the store, and mechanically picked up the
+yet untasted glasses. Sim Ripson filled a glass for himself, looked a
+second at the crowd, and dropping his eyes, raised them again, looked as
+if he had something to say, looked intently into his glass, as if
+espying some irregularity, looked up again, and exclaimed:
+
+"Boys, it's no use--mebbe ther's no hell--mebbe the Bible contradicts
+itself, but--but ther _is_ a heaven, or such folks would never git their
+just dues. Here's to Blizzer's wife, the best man in camp, an' may the
+Lord send us somebody like her!"
+
+In silence, and with uncovered heads, was the toast drank; and for many
+days did the boys mourn for her whose advent brought them such
+disappointment.
+
+
+
+
+A BOARDING HOUSE ROMANCE.
+
+
+I keep a boarding-house.
+
+If any fair proportion of my readers were likely to be members of my own
+profession, I should expect the above announcement to call forth more
+sympathetic handkerchiefs than have waved in unison for many a day. But
+I don't expect anything of the sort; I know my business too well to
+suppose for a moment that any boarding-house proprietor, no matter how
+full her rooms, or how good pay her boarders are, ever finds time to
+read a story. Even if they did, they'd be so lost in wonder at one of
+themselves finding time to _write_ a story, that they'd forget the whole
+plot and point of the thing.
+
+I can't help it, though--I _must_ tell about poor dear Mrs. Perry, even
+if I run the risk of cook's overdoing the beef, so that Mr. Bluff, who
+is English, and the best of pay, can't get the rare cut he loves so
+well. Mrs. Perry's story has run in my head so long, that it has made me
+forget to take change from the grocer at least once to my knowledge, and
+even made me lose a good boarder, by showing a room before the bed was
+made up. They say that poets get things out of their heads by writing
+them down, and I don't know why boarding-house keepers can't do the same
+thing.
+
+It's about three months since Mrs. Perry came here to board. I'm very
+sure about the time, and it was the day I was to pay my quarter's rent,
+and to-morrow will be quarter-day again; thank the Lord I've got the
+money ready.
+
+I _didn't_ have the money ready then, though, and the landlord left his
+temper behind him, instead of a receipt, and I was just having a little
+cry in my apron, and asking the Lord _why_ it was that a poor lone woman
+who was working her finger-ends off should have such a hard time, when
+the door-bell rang.
+
+"That's the landlord again. _I_ know his ways, the mean wretch!" said I
+to myself, hastily rubbing my eyes dry, and making up before the mirror
+in the hat-tree as fierce a face as I could. Then I snatched open the
+door, and tried to make believe my heart _wasn't_ in my mouth.
+
+But the landlord wasn't there, and I've always been a little sorry, for
+I was looking so savage, that a wee little woman, who _was_ at the door,
+trembled all over, and started to go down the steps.
+
+"Don't go, ma'am," I said, very quickly, with the best smile I could put
+on (and I think I've been long enough in the business to give the right
+kind of a smile to a person that looks like a new boarder). "Don't go--I
+thought it was--I thought it was--somebody else that rang. Come in, do."
+
+She looked as if I was doing her a great honor, and I thought that
+looked like poor pay, but I was too glad at not seeing the landlord just
+then to care if I did lose _one_ week's board; besides, she didn't look
+as if she _could_ eat much.
+
+"I see you advertise a small bedroom to let," said she, looking
+appealing-like, as if she was going to beat me down on the strength of
+being poor. "How much is it a week?"
+
+"Eight dollars," said I, rather shortly. Seven dollars was all I
+expected to get, but I put on one, so as to be beaten down without
+losing anything. "I can get eight from a single gentleman, the only
+objection being that he wants to keep a dog in the back yard."
+
+"Oh, I'll pay it," said she, quickly taking out her pocketbook. "I'll
+take it for six weeks, anyhow."
+
+I never felt so ashamed of myself in my life. I made up my mind to read
+a penitential passage of Scripture as soon as I closed the bargain with
+her, but, remembering the Book says to be reconciled to your brother
+before laying your gift on the altar, I says, quick as I could, for
+fear that if I thought over it again I couldn't be honest:
+
+"You shall have it for seven, my dear madame, if you're going to stay so
+long, and I'll do your washing without extra charge."
+
+This last I said to punish myself for suspecting an innocent little
+lady.
+
+"Oh, thank you--thank you _very_ much," said she, and then she began to
+cry.
+
+I knew _that_ wasn't for effect, for we were already agreed on terms,
+and she had her pocketbook open showing more money that _I_ ever have at
+a time, unless it's rent-day.
+
+She tried to stop crying by burying her face in her hands, and it made
+her look so much smaller and so pitiful that I picked her right up, as
+if she was a baby, and kissed her. Then she cried harder, and I--a woman
+over forty, too--couldn't find anything better to do than to cry with
+her.
+
+I knew her whole story within five minutes--knew it perfectly well
+before I'd fairly shown her the room and got it aired.
+
+They were from the West, and had been married about a year. She hadn't a
+relative in the world, but _his_ folks had friends in Philadelphia, so
+he'd got a place as clerk in a big clothing factory, at twelve hundred
+dollars a year. They'd been keeping house, just as cozy as could be in
+four rooms, and were as happy as anybody in the world, when one night he
+didn't come home.
+
+She was almost frantic about him all night long, and first thing in the
+morning she was at the factory. She waited until all the clerks got
+there, but George--his name was George Perry--didn't come. The
+proprietor was a good-hearted man, and went with her to the
+police-office, and they telegraphed all over the city; but there didn't
+seem to be any such man found dead or drunk, or arrested for anything.
+
+She hadn't heard a word from him since. Her husband's family's friends
+were rich--the stuck up brutes!--but they seemed to be annoyed by her
+coming so often to ask if there wasn't any other way of looking for him,
+so she, like the modest, frightened little thing she was, staid away
+from them. Then somebody told her that New York was the place everybody
+went to, so she sold all her furniture and pawned almost all her
+clothes, and came to New York with about fifty dollars in her pocket.
+
+"What I'll do when that's gone I don't know," said she, commencing to
+cry again, "unless I find George. I won't live on _you_, though, ma'am,"
+she said, lifting her face up quickly out of her handkerchief; "I won't,
+indeed. I'll go to the poorhouse first. But--"
+
+Then she cried worse than before, and I cried, too, and took her in my
+arms, and called her a poor little thing, and told her she shouldn't go
+to any poorhouse, but should stay with me and be my daughter.
+
+I don't know how I came to say it, for, goodness knows, I find it hard
+enough to keep out of the poorhouse myself, but I did say it, and I
+meant it, too.
+
+Her things were all in a little valise, and she soon had the room to
+rights, and when I went up again in a few minutes to carry her a cup of
+tea, she pointed to her husband's picture which she had hung on the
+wall, and asked me if I didn't think he was very handsome.
+
+I said yes, but I'm glad she looked at the tea instead of me, for I
+believe she'd seen by my face that I didn't like her George. The fact
+is, men look very differently to their wives or sweethearts than they do
+to older people and to boarding-house keepers. There was nothing vicious
+about George Perry's face, but if he'd been a boarder of mine, I'd have
+insisted on my board promptly--not for fear of his trying to cheat me,
+but because if he saw anything else he wanted, he'd spend his money
+without thinking of what he owed.
+
+I felt so certain that he'd got into some mischief or trouble, and was
+afraid or ashamed to come back to his wife, that I risked the price of
+three ribs of prime roasting beef in the following "Personal"
+advertisement:
+
+"GEORGE P.--Your wife don't know anything about it, and is dying to see
+you. Answer through Personals."
+
+But no answer came, and his wife grew more and more poorly, and I
+couldn't help seeing what was the matter with her. Then her money ran
+out, and she talked of going away, but I wouldn't hear of it. I just
+took her to my own room, which was the back parlor, and told her she
+wasn't to think again of going away; that she was to be my daughter, and
+I would be her mother, until she found George again.
+
+I was afraid, for _her_ sake, that it meant we were to be with each
+other for ever, for there was no sign of George.
+
+She wrote to his family in the West, but _they_ hadn't heard anything
+from him or about him, and they took pains not to invite her there, or
+even to say anything about giving her a helping hand.
+
+There was only one thing left to do, and that was to pray, and pray I
+_did_, more constantly and earnestly than I ever did before, although,
+the good Lord knows there _have_ been times, about quarter-day, when I
+haven't kept much peace before the Throne.
+
+Finally, one day Mrs. Perry was taken unusually bad, and the doctor had
+to be sent for in a hurry. We were in her room--the doctor and Mrs.
+Perry and I--I was endeavoring to comfort and strengthen the poor thing,
+when the servant knocked, and said a lady and gentleman had come to look
+at rooms.
+
+I didn't _dare_ to lose boarders, for I'd had three empty rooms for a
+month, so I hurried into the parlor. I was almost knocked down for a
+second, for the gentleman was George Perry, and no mistake, if the
+picture his wife had was to be trusted.
+
+In a second more I was cooler and clearer-headed than I ever was in my
+life before. I felt more like an angel of the Lord than a boarding-house
+keeper.
+
+"Kate," said I, to the servant "show the lady all the rooms."
+
+Kate stared, for I'd never trusted her, or any other girl, with such
+important work, and she knew it. She went though, followed by the lady,
+who, though she seemed a weak, silly sort of thing, I _hated_ with all
+my might. Then I turned quickly, and said:
+
+"Don't you want a room for your wife, too, George Perry?"
+
+He stared at me a moment, and then turned pale and looked confused. Then
+he tried to rally himself, and he said:
+
+"You seem to know me, ma'am."
+
+"Yes," said I; "and I know Mrs. Perry, too; and if ever a woman needed
+her husband she does _now_, even if her husband _is_ a rascal."
+
+He tried to be angry, but he couldn't. He walked up and down the room
+once or twice, his face twitching all the time, and then he said, a word
+or two at a time:
+
+"I wish I could--poor girl!--God forgive me!--what _can_ I do?--I wish I
+was dead!"
+
+"You wouldn't be any use to _any_body then but the Evil One, George
+Perry, and you're not ready to see _him_ just yet," said I.
+
+Just then there came a low, long groan from the backroom, and at the
+same time some one came into the parlor. I was too excited to notice who
+it was; and George Perry, when he heard the groan, stopped short and
+exclaimed:
+
+"Good God! who's that?"
+
+"Your wife," said I, almost ready to scream, I was so wrought up.
+
+He hid his face in his hands, and trembled all over.
+
+There was half a minute's silence--it seemed half an hour--and then we
+heard a long, thin wail from a voice that hadn't ever been heard on
+earth before.
+
+"What's that?" said Perry, in a hoarse whisper, his eyes starting out of
+his head, and hands thrown up.
+
+"Your baby--just born," said I. "Will you take rooms for your family
+_now_, George Perry?" I asked.
+
+"_I_ sha'n't stand in the way," said a voice behind me.
+
+I turned around quickly, just in time to see, with her eyes full of
+tears, the woman who had come with George go out the door and shut the
+hall-door behind her.
+
+"Thank God!" said George, dropping on his knees.
+
+"Amen!" said I, hurrying out of the parlor and locking the door behind
+me.
+
+I thought if he wanted to pray while on his knees he shouldn't be
+disturbed, while if he should suddenly be tempted to follow his late
+companion, _I_ shouldn't be held at the Judgment day for any share of
+the guilt.
+
+I found the doctor bustling about, getting ready to go, and Mrs. Perry
+looking very peaceful and happy, with a little bundle hugged up close to
+her.
+
+"I guess the Lord will bring him _now_," said Mrs. Perry, "if it's only
+to see his little boy."
+
+"Like enough, my dear," said I, thanking the Lord for opening the
+question, for my wits were all gone by this time, and I hadn't any more
+idea of what to do than the man in the moon; "but," said I, "He won't
+bring him till you're well, and able to bear the excitement."
+
+"Oh, I could bear it any time now," said she, very calmly, "It would
+seem just as natural as could be to have him come in and kiss me, and
+see his baby and bless it."
+
+"Would it?" I asked, with my heart all in a dance. "Well, trust the Lord
+to do just what's right."
+
+I hurried out and opened the parlor-door. There stood George Perry,
+changed so I hardly knew him. He seemed years older; his thick lips
+seemed to have suddenly grown thin, and were pressed tightly together,
+and there was such an appealing look from his eyes.
+
+"Be very careful now," I whispered, "and you may see them. She expects
+you, and don't imagine anything has gone wrong."
+
+I took him into the room, and she looked up with a face like what I
+hope the angels have. I didn't see anything more, for my eyes filled up
+all of a sudden, so I hurried up-stairs into an empty room, and spent
+half an hour crying and thanking the Lord.
+
+There was a pretty to-do at the dinner table that day. I'd intended to
+have _souffle_ for desert, and I always make my own _souffles_; but I
+forgot everything but the Perrys, and the boarders grumbled awfully. I
+didn't care, though; I was too happy to feel abused.
+
+I don't know how George Perry explained his absence to his wife; perhaps
+he hasn't done it at all. But I know she seems to be the happiest woman
+alive, and that _he_ don't seem to care for anything in the world but
+his wife and baby.
+
+As to the woman who came with him to look at a room, I haven't seen her
+since; but if she happens to read this story, she may have the
+consolation of knowing that there's an old woman who remembers her one
+good deed, and prays for her often and earnestly.
+
+
+
+
+RETIRING FROM BUSINESS.
+
+
+What the colonel's business was nobody knew, nor did any one care,
+particularly. He purchased for cash only, and he never grumbled at the
+price of anything that he wanted; who could ask more than that?
+
+Curious people occasionally wondered how, when it had been fully two
+years since the colonel, with every one else, abandoned Duck Creek to
+the Chinese, he managed to spend money freely, and to lose considerable
+at cards and horse-races. In fact, the keeper of that one of the two
+Challenge Hill saloons which the colonel did not patronize was once
+heard to absentmindedly wonder whether the colonel hadn't a money-mill
+somewhere, where he turned out double-eagles and "slugs" (the Coast name
+for fifty-dollar gold-pieces).
+
+When so important a personage as a barkeeper indulged publicly in an
+idea, the inhabitants of Challenge Hill, like good Californians
+everywhere, considered themselves in duty bound to give it grave
+consideration; so, for a few days, certain industrious professional
+gentlemen, who won money of the colonel, carefully weighed some of the
+brightest pieces and tested them with acids, and tasted them and sawed
+them in two, and retried them and melted them up, and had the lumps
+assayed.
+
+The result was a complete vindication of the colonel, and a loss of
+considerable custom to the indiscreet barkeeper.
+
+The colonel was as good-natured a man as had ever been known at
+Challenge Hill, but, being mortal, the colonel had his occasional times
+of despondency, and one of them occurred after a series of races, in
+which he had staked his all on his own bay mare Tipsie, and had lost.
+
+Looking reproachfully at his beloved animal failed to heal the aching
+void of his pockets, and drinking deeply, swearing eloquently and
+glaring defiantly at all mankind, were equally unproductive of coin.
+
+The boys at the saloon sympathized most feelingly with the colonel; they
+were unceasing in their invitations to drink, and they even exhibited
+considerable Christian forbearance when the colonel savagely dissented
+with every one who advanced any proposition, no matter how
+incontrovertible.
+
+But unappreciated sympathy grows decidedly tiresome to the giver, and it
+was with a feeling of relief that the boys saw the colonel stride out of
+the saloon, mount Tipsie, and gallop furiously away.
+
+Riding on horseback has always been considered an excellent sort of
+exercise, and fast riding is universally admitted to be one of the most
+healthful and delightful means of exhilaration in the world.
+
+But when a man is so absorbed in his exercise that he will not stop to
+speak to a friend; and when his exhilaration is so complete that he
+turns his eyes from well-meaning thumbs pointing significantly into
+doorways through which a man has often passed while seeking bracing
+influences, it is but natural that people should express some wonder.
+
+The colonel was well known at Toddy Flat, Lone Hand, Blazers, Murderer's
+Bar, and several other villages through which he passed, and as no one
+had been seen to precede him, betting men were soon offering odds that
+the colonel was running away from somebody.
+
+Strictly speaking they were wrong, but they won all the money that had
+been staked against them; for within half an hour's time there passed
+over the same road an anxious-looking individual, who reined up in front
+of the principal saloon of each place, and asked if the colonel had
+passed.
+
+Had the gallant colonel known that he was followed, and by whom, there
+would have been an extra election held at the latter place very shortly
+after, for the colonel's pursuer was no other than the constable of
+Challenge Hill, and for constables and all other officers of the law the
+colonel possessed hatred of unspeakable intensity.
+
+On galloped the colonel, following the stage-road, which threaded the
+old mining camps on Duck Creek; but suddenly he turned abruptly out of
+the road, and urged his horse through the young pines and bushes, which
+grew thickly by the road, while the constable galloped rapidly on to the
+next camp.
+
+There seemed to be no path through the thicket into which the colonel
+had turned, but Tipsie walked between trees and bushes as if they were
+but the familiar objects of her own stable-yard.
+
+Suddenly a voice from the bushes shouted:
+
+"What's up?"
+
+"Business--_that's_ what," replied the colonel.
+
+"It's time," replied the voice, and its owner--a bearded
+six-footer--emerged from the bushes, and stroked Tipsie's nose with the
+freedom of an old acquaintance. "We hain't had a nip sence last night,
+an' thar' ain't a cracker or a handful of flour in the shanty. The old
+gal go back on yer?"
+
+"Yes," replied the colonel, ruefully--lost ev'ry blasted race. 'Twasn't
+_her_ fault, bless her--she done her level best. Ev'rybody to home?"
+
+"You bet," said the man. "All ben a-prayin' for yer to turn up with the
+rocks, an' somethin' with more color than spring water. Come on."
+
+The man led the way, and Tipsie and the colonel followed, and the trio
+suddenly found themselves before a small log hut, in front of which sat
+three solemn, disconsolate-looking individuals, who looked appealingly
+at the colonel.
+
+"Mac'll tell yer how 'twas, fellers," said the colonel, meekly, "while
+I picket the mare."
+
+The colonel was absent but a very few moments, but when he returned each
+of the four men was attired in pistols and knives, while Mac was
+distributing some dominoes, made from a rather dirty flour-bag.
+
+"'Tain't so late as all that, is it?" inquired the colonel.
+
+"Better be an hour ahead than miss it this _'ere_ night," said one of
+the four. "I ain't been so thirsty sence I come round the Horn, in '50,
+an' we run short of water. _Somebody_'ll get hurt ef thar' ain't no
+bitters on the old concern--they will, or my name ain't Perkins."
+
+"Don't count yer chickings 'fore they're hetched, Perky," said one of
+the party, as he adjusted his domino under the rim of his hat.
+"'S'posin' ther' shud be too many for us?"
+
+"Stiddy, Cranks!" remonstrated the colonel. "Nobody ever gets along ef
+they 'low 'emselves to be skeered."
+
+"Fact," chimed in the smallest and thinnest man of the party. "The Bible
+says somethin' mighty hot 'bout that. I disremember dzackly how it goes;
+but I've heerd Parson Buzzy, down in Maine, preach a rippin' old sermon
+from that text many a time. The old man never thort what a comfort them
+sermons wus a-goin' to be to a road-agent, though. That time we stopped
+Slim Mike's stage, an' he didn't hev no more manners than to draw on me,
+them sermons wus a perfec' blessin' to me--the thought uv 'em cleared my
+head ez quick ez a cocktail. An'--"
+
+"I don't want to disturb Logroller's pious yarn," interrupted the
+colonel; "but ez it's Old Black that's drivin' to-day instid of Slim
+Mike, an' ez Old Black ollers makes his time, hedn't we better vamose?"
+
+The door of the shanty was hastily closed, and the men filed through the
+thicket until near the road, when they marched rapidly on parallel lines
+with it. After about half an hour, Perkins, who was leading, halted, and
+wiped his perspiring brow with his shirt-sleeve.
+
+"Far enough from home now," said he. "'Tain't no use bein' a gentleman
+ef yer hev to work _too_ hard."
+
+"Safe enough, I reckon," replied the colonel. "We'll do the usual; I'll
+halt 'em, Logroller'll tend to the driver, Cranks takes the boot, an'
+Mac an' Perk takes right an' left. An'--I know it's tough--but
+consid'rin' how everlastin' eternally hard up we are, I reckon we'll
+have to ask contributions from the ladies, too, ef ther's any
+aboard--eh, boy?"
+
+"Reckon so," replied Logroller, with a chuckle that seemed to inspire
+even his black domino with a merry wrinkle or two. "What's the use of
+women's rights ef they don't ever hev a chance of exercisin' 'em? Hevin'
+ther purses borrowed 'ud show 'em the hull doctrine in a bran-new
+light."
+
+"They're treacherous critters, women is," remarked Cranks; "some of 'em
+might put a knife into a feller while he was 'pologizin'."
+
+"Ef _you're_ afeard of 'em," said Perkins, "you ken go back an' clean up
+the shanty."
+
+"Reminds me of what the Bible sez," said Logroller; "'there's a lion on
+the trail; I'll be chawed up, sez the lazy galoot,' ur words to that
+effect."
+
+"Come, come boys," interposed the colonel; "don't mix religion an'
+bizness. They don't mix no more than--Hello, thar's the crack of Old
+Black's whip! Pick yer bushes--quick! All jump when I whistle!"
+
+Each man secreted himself near the roadside. The stage came swinging
+along handsomely; the inside passengers were laughing heartily about
+something, and Old Black was just giving a delicate touch to the flank
+of the off leader, when the colonel gave a shrill, quick whistle, and
+the five men sprang into the road.
+
+The horses stopped as suddenly as if it was a matter of common
+occurrence, Old Black dropped his reins, crossed his legs, and stared
+into the sky, and the passengers all put out their heads with a rapidity
+equaled only by that with which they withdrew them as they saw the
+dominoes and revolvers of the road-agents.
+
+"Seems to be something the matter, gentlemen," said the colonel,
+blandly, as he opened the door. "Won't you please git out? Don't trouble
+yourselves to draw, cos my friend here's got his weapon cocked, an' his
+fingers is rather nervous. Ain't got a han'kercher, hev yer?" asked the
+colonel of the first passenger who descended from the stage. "Hev? Well,
+now, that's lucky. Jest put yer hands behind yer, please--so--that's
+it." And the unfortunate man was securely bound in an instant.
+
+The remaining passengers were treated with similar courtesy, and then
+the colonel and his friends examined the pockets of the captives. Old
+Black remained unmolested, for who ever heard of a stage-driver having
+money?
+
+"Boys," said the colonel, calling his brother agents aside, and
+comparing receipts, "'tain't much of a haul; but there's only one woman,
+an' she's old enough to be a feller's grandmother. Better let her alone,
+eh?"
+
+"Like enough she'll pan out more'n all the rest of the stage put
+together," growled Cranks, carefully testing the thickness of case of a
+gold watch. "Jest like the low-lived deceitfulness of some folks, to
+hire an old woman to kerry ther money so it 'ud go safe. Mebbe what
+she's got hain't nothin' to some folks thet's got hosses thet ken win
+'em money at races, but--"
+
+The colonel abruptly ended the conversation, and approached the stage.
+The colonel was very chivalrous, but Cranks's sarcastic reference to
+Tipsie needed avenging, and as he could not consistently with business
+arrangements put an end to Cranks, the old lady would have to suffer.
+
+"I beg your parding, ma'am," said the colonel, raising his hat politely
+with one hand, while he reopened the coach-door with the other, "but
+we're a-takin' up a collection fur some very deservin' object. We _wuz_
+a-goin' to make the gentlemen fork over the hull amount, but ez they
+hain't got enough, we'll hev to bother _you_."
+
+The old lady trembled, and felt for her pocketbook, and raised her
+vail. The colonel looked into her face, slammed the stage-door, and,
+sitting down on the hub of one of the wheels, stared vacantly into
+space.
+
+"Nothin'?" queried Perkins, in a whisper, and with a face full of
+genuine sympathy.
+
+"No--yes," said the colonel, dreamily. "That is, untie em and let the
+stage go ahead," he continued, springing to his feet. "_I'll_ hurry back
+to the cabin."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And the colonel dashed into the bushes, and left his followers so
+paralyzed with astonishment, that Old Black afterward remarked that, "ef
+ther'd ben anybody to hold the hosses, he could hev cleaned out the hull
+crowd with his whip."
+
+The passengers, now relieved of their weapons, were unbound, and
+allowed to re-enter the stage, and the door was slammed, upon which Old
+Black picked up his reins as coolly as if he had merely laid them down
+at the station while horses were being changed; then he cracked his
+whip, and the stage rolled off, while the colonel's party hastened back
+to their hut, fondly inspecting as they went certain flasks they had
+obtained while transacting their business with the occupants of the
+stage.
+
+Great was the surprise of the road-agents as they entered their hut, for
+there stood the colonel in a clean white shirt, and in a suit of
+clothing made up from the limited spare wardrobes of the other members
+of the gang.
+
+But the suspicious Cranks speedily subordinated his wonder to his
+prudence, as, laying on the table a watch, two pistols, a pocket-book,
+and a heavy purse, he exclaimed:
+
+"Come, colonel, bizness before pleasure; let's divide an' scatter. Ef
+anybody should hear 'bout it, an' find our trail, an' ketch us with the
+traps in our possession, they might--"
+
+"Divide yerselves!" said the colonel, with abruptness and a great oath.
+"_I_ don't want none of it."
+
+"Colonel," said Perkins, removing his own domino, and looking anxiously
+into the leader's face, "be you sick? Here's some bully brandy I found
+in one of the passengers' pockets."
+
+"I hain't nothin'," replied the colonel. "I'm a-goin', an' I'm
+a-retirin' from _this_ bizness for ever."
+
+"Ain't a-goin' to turn evidence?" cried Cranks, grasping the pistol on
+the table.
+
+"I'm a-goin' to make a lead-mine of _you_ ef you don't take that back!"
+roared the colonel, with a bound, which caused Cranks to drop his
+pistol, and retire precipitately backward, apologizing as he went. "I'm
+goin' to tend to my own bizness, and that's enough to keep _any_ man
+busy. Somebody lend me fifty, till I see him again?"
+
+Perkins pressed the money into the colonel's hand, and within two
+minutes the colonel was on Tipsie's back, and galloping on in the
+direction the stage had taken.
+
+He overtook it, he passed it, and still he galloped on.
+
+The people at Mud Gulch knew the colonel well, and made it a rule never
+to be astonished at anything he did; but they made an exception to the
+rule when the colonel canvassed the principal bar-rooms for men who
+wished to purchase a horse; and when a gambler, who was flush, obtained
+Tipsie in exchange for twenty slugs--only a thousand dollars, when the
+colonel had always said that there wasn't gold enough on top of the
+ground to buy her--Mud Gulch experienced a decided sensation.
+
+One or two enterprising persons speedily discovered that the colonel was
+not in a communicative mood, so every one retired to his favorite
+saloon, and bet according to his own opinion of the colonel's motives
+and actions.
+
+But when the colonel, after remaining in a barber-shop for half an hour,
+emerged with his face clean shaven and his hair neatly trimmed and
+parted, betting was so wild that a cool-headed sporting man speedily
+made a fortune by betting against every theory that was advanced.
+
+Then the colonel made a tour of the stores, and fitted himself to a new
+suit of clothes, carefully eschewing all of the generous patterns and
+pronounced colors so dear to the average miner. He bought a new hat, put
+on a pair of boots, and pruned his finger-nails, and, stranger than all,
+he mildly but firmly declined all invitations to drink.
+
+As the colonel stood in the door of the principal saloon, where the
+stage always stopped, the Challenge Hill constable was seen to approach
+the colonel, and tap him on the shoulder, upon which all men who had bet
+that the colonel was dodging somebody claimed the stakes. But those who
+stood near the colonel heard the constable say:
+
+"Colonel, I take it all back, an' I own up fair an' square. When I seed
+you git out of Challenge Hill, it come to me all of a sudden that you
+might be in the road-agent business, so I followed you--duty, you know.
+But after I seed you sell Tipsie, I knowed I was on the wrong trail. I
+wouldn't suspect you now if all the stages in the State was robbed; an'
+I'll give you satisfaction any way you want it."
+
+"It's all right," said the colonel, with a smile. The constable
+afterward said that nobody had any idea of how curiously the colonel
+smiled when his beard was off. "Give this fifty to Jim Perkins fust time
+yer see him? I'm leavin' the State."
+
+Suddenly the stage pulled up at the door with a crash, and the male
+passengers hurried into the saloon, in a state of utter indignation and
+impecuniosity.
+
+The story of the robbery attracted everybody, and during the excitement
+the colonel slipped quietly out, and opened the door of the stage. The
+old lady started, and cried:
+
+"George!"
+
+And the colonel, jumping into the stage, and putting his arms tenderly
+about the trembling form of the old lady, exclaimed:
+
+"Mother!"
+
+[Illustration: THE OLD LADY CRIED, "GEORGE!" AND THE COLONEL EXCLAIMED,
+"MOTHER!"]
+
+
+
+
+THE HARDHACK MISTAKE.
+
+
+Excitement? The venerable Deacon Twinkham, the oldest inhabitant, said
+there had not been such an excitement at Hardhack since the
+meeting-house steeple blew down in a terrible equinoctial, forty-seven
+years before.
+
+And who could wonder?
+
+Even a larger town than Hardhack would have experienced unusual
+agitation at seeing one of its own boys, who had a few years before gone
+away poor, slender and twenty, come back with broad shoulders, a full
+beard, and a pocketful of money, dug out of the ugly hills of Nevada.
+
+But even the return of Nathan Brown, in so unusual a condition for a
+Hardhackian to be found in, was not the fullness of Hardhack's
+excitement, for Nathan had brought with him Tom Crewne and Harry Faxton,
+two friends he had made during his absence, and both of them
+broad-shouldered, full-bearded, and auriferous as Nathan himself.
+
+No wonder the store at Hardhack was all the while crowded with those who
+knew all about Nathan, or wanted to--no wonder that "Seen 'm?" was the
+passing form of salutation for days.
+
+The news spread like wildfire, and industrious farmers deliberately took
+a day, drove to town, and stood patiently on the door-steps of the store
+until they had seen one or more of the wonderful men.
+
+The good Deacon Twinkham himself, who had, at a late prayer-meeting,
+stated that "his feet already felt the splashin' of Jordan's waves,"
+temporarily withdrew his aged limbs from the rugged banks famed in song,
+and caused them to bear him industriously up and down the Ridge Road,
+past Nathan's mother's house, until he saw all three of the bearded
+Croesuses seat themselves on the piazza to smoke. Then he departed, his
+good face affording an excellent study for a "Simeon in the Temple."
+
+Even the peaceful influences of the Sabbath were unable to restore
+tranquillity to Hardhack.
+
+On Sunday morning the meeting-house was fuller than it had been since
+the funeral services of the last pastor. At each squeak of the door,
+every head was quickly turned; and when, in the middle of the first
+hymn, the three ex-miners filed decorously in, the staring organist held
+one chord of "Windham" so long that the breath of the congregation was
+entirely exhausted.
+
+The very pulpit itself succombed to the popular excitement; and the
+Reverend Abednego Choker, after reading of the treasures of Solomon's
+Temple, and of the glories of the New Testament, for the first and
+second lessons, preached from Isaiah xlvi. 6: "They lavish gold out of
+the bag and weigh silver in the balance."
+
+But all this excitement was as nothing compared with the tumult which
+agitated the tender hearts of the maidens at Hardhack.
+
+Young, old, handsome, plain, smart and stupid, until now few of them had
+dared to hope for a change of name; for, while they possessed as many
+mental and personal charms as girls in general, all the enterprising
+boys of Hardhack had departed from their birthplace in search of the
+lucre which Hardback's barren hills and lean meadows failed to supply,
+and the cause of their going was equally a preventive of the coming of
+others to fill their places.
+
+But now--oh, hope!--here were three young men, good-looking, rich,
+and--if the other two were fit companions for the well-born and bred
+Nathan--all safe custodians for tender hearts.
+
+Few girls were there in Hardhack who did not determine, in their
+innermost hearts, to strive as hard as Yankee wit and maiden modesty
+would allow for one of those tempting prizes.
+
+Nor were they unaided. Rich and respectable sons-in-law are scarce
+enough the world over, so it was no wonder that all the parents of
+marriageable daughters strove to make Hardhack pleasant for the young
+men.
+
+Fathers read up on Nevada, and cultivated the three ex-miners; mothers
+ransacked cook-books and old trunks; Ladies' Companions were
+industriously searched for pleasing patterns; crimping-irons and
+curling-tongs were extemporized, and the demand for ribbons and
+trimmings became so great that the storekeeper hurried to the city for a
+fresh supply.
+
+Then began that season of mad hilarity and reckless dissipation, which
+seemed almost a dream to the actors themselves, and to which patriotic
+Hardhackians have since referred to with feelings like those of the
+devout Jew as he recalls the glorious deeds of his forefathers, or of
+the modern Roman as, from the crumbling arches of the Coliseum, he
+conjures up the mighty shade of the Cæsarian period.
+
+The fragrant bohea flowed as freely as champagne would have done in a
+less pious locality; ethereal sponge-cakes and transparent
+currant-jellies became too common to excite comment; the surrounding
+country was heavily drawn upon for fatted calves, chickens and turkeys,
+and mince-pies were so plenty, that observing children wondered if the
+Governor had not decreed a whole year of special Thanksgiving.
+
+Bravely the three great catches accepted every invitation, and, though
+it was a very unusual addition to his regular duties, the Reverend
+Abednego Choker faithfully attended all the evening festivities, to the
+end that they might be decorously closed with prayer, as had from time
+immemorial been the custom of Hardhack.
+
+And the causes of all these efforts on the part of Hardhack society
+enjoyed themselves intensely. Young men of respectable inclinations, who
+have lived for several years in a society composed principally of
+scoundrels, and modified only by the occasional presence of an honest
+miner or a respectable mule-driver, would have considered as Elysium a
+place far less proper and agreeable than Hardhack. In fact, the trio was
+so delighted, that its eligibility soon became diminished in quantity.
+
+Faxton, at one of the first parties, made an unconditional surrender to
+a queenly damsel, while Nathan, having found his old schoolday
+sweetheart still unmarried, whispered something in her ear (probably the
+secret of some rare cosmetic), which filled her cheeks with roses from
+that time forth.
+
+But Crewne, the handsomest and most brilliant of the three, still
+remained, and over him the fight was far more intense than in the
+opening of the campaign, when weapons were either rusty or untried, and
+the chances of success were seemingly more numerous.
+
+But to designate any particular lady as surest of success seemed
+impossible. Even Nathan and Faxton, when besought for an opinion by the
+two ladies who now claimed their innermost thoughts, could only say that
+no one but Crewne knew, and perhaps even _he_ didn't.
+
+Crewne was a very odd boy, they said--excellent company, the best of
+good fellows, the staunchest of friends, and the very soul of honor; but
+there were some things about him they never _could_ understand. In fact,
+he was something like that sum of all impossibilities, a schoolgirl's
+hero.
+
+"But, Harry," said the prospective Mrs. Faxton, with rather an angry
+pout for a Church-member in full communion, "just see what splendid
+girls are dying for him! I'm sure there are no nicer girls anywhere than
+in Hardhack, and he needn't be so stuck up--"
+
+"My dear," interrupted Faxton, "I say it with fear and trembling, but
+perhaps Crewne don't want to be in love at all."
+
+An indignant flash of doubt went over the lady's face.
+
+"Just notice him at a party," continued Faxton. "He seems to distribute
+his attentions with exact equality among all the ladies present, as if
+he were trying to discourage the idea that he was a marrying man."
+
+"Well," said the lady, still indignant, "I think you might ask him and
+settle the matter."
+
+"Excuse me, my dear," replied Faxton. "I have seen others manifest an
+interest in Crewne's affairs, and the result was discouraging. I'd
+rather not try the experiment."
+
+A few mornings later Mrs. Leekins, who took the place of a newspaper at
+Hardhack, was seen hurrying from house to house on her own street, and
+such housekeepers as saw her instantly discovered that errands must be
+made to houses directly in Mrs. Leekins's route.
+
+Mrs. Leekins's story was soon told. Crewne had suddenly gone to the
+city, first purchasing the cottage which Deacon Twinkham had built
+several years before for a son who had never come back from sea.
+
+Crewne had hired old Mrs. Bruff to put the cottage to rights, and to
+arrange the carpets and furniture, which he was to forward immediately.
+But who was to be mistress of the cottage Mrs. Leekins was unable to
+tell, or even to guess.
+
+The clerks at the store had been thoroughly pumped; but while they
+admitted that one young lady had purchased an unusual quantity of
+inserting, another had ordered a dress pattern of gray empress cloth,
+which was that year the fashionable material and color for traveling
+dresses.
+
+Old Mrs. Bruff had received unusual consideration and unlimited tea, but
+even the most systematic question failed to elicit from her anything
+satisfactory.
+
+At any rate, it was certain that Crewne was absent from Hardhack, and it
+was evident that _he_ had decided who was to be the lady of the cottage,
+so the season of festivity was brought to an abrupt close, and the
+digestions of Hardhack were snatched from ruin.
+
+From kitchen-windows were now wafted odors of boiled corned beef and
+stewed apples, instead of the fragrance of delicate preserves and
+delicious turkey.
+
+Young ladies, when they met in the street, greeted each, other with a
+shade less of cordiality than usual, and fathers and mothers in Israel
+cast into each other's eyes searching and suspicious glances.
+
+One afternoon, when the pious matrons of Hardhack were gathering at the
+pastor's residence to take part in the regular weekly mothers'
+prayer-meeting, the mail-coach rolled into town, and Mrs. Leekins, who
+was sitting by the window, as she always did, exclaimed:
+
+"He's come back--there he is--on the seat with the driver!"
+
+Every one hurried to the window, and saw that Mrs. Leekins had spoken
+truly, for there sat Crewne with a pleasant smile on his face, while on
+top of the stage were several large trunks marked C.
+
+[Illustration: THE SISTERS HASTENED TO THE WINDOW.]
+
+"Must have got a handsome fit-out," suggested Mrs. Leekins.
+
+The stage stopped at the door of Crewne's new cottage, and Crewne got
+out. The pastor entered the parlor to open the meeting, and was
+selecting a hymn, when Mrs. Leekins startled the meeting by ejaculating:
+
+"Lands alive!"
+
+The meeting was demoralized; the sisters hastened to the window, and the
+good pastor, laying down his hymn-book, followed in time to see Crewne
+helping out a well-dressed and apparently young and handsome lady.
+
+"Hardhack girls not good 'nough for him, it seems!" sneered Mrs.
+Leekins.
+
+A resigned and sympathetic sigh broke from the motherly lips present,
+then Mrs. Leekins cried:
+
+"Gracious sakes! married a widder with children!"
+
+It certainly seemed that she told the truth, for Crewne lifted out
+two children, the youngest of whom seemed not more than three years old.
+
+The gazers abruptly left the window, and the general tone of the meeting
+was that of melancholy resignation.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+"Why didn't he ever say he was a married man?" asked the prospective
+Mrs. Faxton, of her lover, that evening.
+
+"Partly because he is too much of a gentleman to talk of his own
+affairs," replied Faxton; "but principally because there had been, as he
+told me this afternoon, an unfortunate quarrel between them, which drove
+him to the mines. A few days ago he heard from her, for the first time
+in three years, and they've patched up matters, and are very happy."
+
+"Well," said the lady, with considerable decision, "Hardhack will never
+forgive him."
+
+Hardhack did, however, for Crewne and his two friends drew about them a
+few of their old comrades, who took unto themselves wives from the
+people about them, and made of Hardhack one of the pleasantest villages
+in the State.
+
+
+
+
+THE CARMI CHUMS.
+
+
+The Carmi Chums was the name they went by all along the river. Most
+other roustabouts had each a name of his own; so had the Carmi Chums for
+that matter, but the men themselves were never mentioned
+individually--always collectively.
+
+No steamboat captain who wanted only a single man ever attempted to hire
+half of the Carmi Chums at a time--as easy would it have been to have
+hired half of the Siamese Twins. No steamboat mate who knew them ever
+attempted to "tell off" the Chums into different watches, and any mate
+who, not knowing them, committed this blunder, and adhered to it after
+explanation was made, was sure to be two men short immediately after
+leaving the steamer's next landing.
+
+There seemed no possible way of separating them; they never fell out
+with each other in the natural course of events; they never fought when
+drunk, as other friendly roustabouts sometimes did, for the Carmi Chums
+never got drunk; there never sprang up any coolness between them because
+of love for the same lady, for they did not seem to care at all for
+female society, unless they happened to meet some old lady whom one
+might love as a mother rather than as a sweetheart.
+
+Even professional busybodies, from whose presence roustabouts are no
+freer than Church-members, were unable to provoke the Carmi Chums even
+to suspicion, and those of them who attempted it too persistently were
+likely to have a difficulty with the slighter of the Chums.
+
+This man, who was called Black, because of the color of his hair, was
+apparently forty years of age, and of very ordinary appearance, except
+when an occasional furtive, frightened look came into his face and
+attracted attention.
+
+His companion, called Red, because his hair was of the hue of the
+carrots, and because it was occasionally necessary to distinguish him
+from his friend, seemed of about the same age and degree of ordinaries
+as Black, but was rather stouter, more cheery, and, to use the favorite
+roustabout simile, held his head closer to the current.
+
+He seemed, when Black was absent-minded (as he generally was while off
+duty), to be the leading spirit of the couple, and to be tenderly alive
+to all of his partner's needs; but observing roustabouts noticed that
+when freight was being moved, or wood taken on board, Black was always
+where he could keep an eye on his chum, and where he could demand
+instant reparation from any wretch who trod upon Red's toes, or who,
+with a shoulder-load of wood, grazed Red's head, or touched Red with a
+box or barrel.
+
+Next to neighborly wonder as to the existence of the friendship between
+the Chums, roustabouts with whom the couple sailed concerned themselves
+most with the cause of the bond between them. Their searches after first
+causes were no more successful, however, than those of the naturalists
+who are endeavoring to ascertain who laid the cosmic egg.
+
+They gave out that they came from Carmi, so, once or twice, when
+captains with whom the Chums were engaged determined to seek a cargo up
+the Wabash, upon which river Carmi was located, inquisitive roustabouts
+became light-hearted. But, alas, for the vanity of human hopes! when the
+boat reached Carmi the Chums could not be found, nor could any
+inhabitant of Carmi identify them by the descriptions which were given
+by inquiring friends.
+
+At length they became known, in their collective capacity, as one of
+the institutions of the river. Captains knew them as well as they knew
+Natchez or Piankishaw Bend, and showed them to distinguished passengers
+as regularly as they showed General Zach. Taylor's plantation, or the
+scene of the Grand Gulf "cave," where a square mile of Louisiana dropped
+into the river one night. Captains rather cultivated them, in fact,
+although it was a difficult bit of business, for roustabouts who
+wouldn't say "thank you" for a glass of French brandy, or a genuine,
+old-fashioned "plantation cigar," seemed destitute of ordinary handles
+of which a steamboat captain, could take hold.
+
+Lady passengers took considerable notice of them, and were more
+successful than any one else at drawing them into conversation. The
+linguistic accomplishments of the Chums were not numerous, but it did
+one good to see Black lose his scared, furtive look when a lady
+addressed him, and to see the affectionate deference with which he
+appealed to Red, until that worthy was drawn into the conversation. When
+Black succeeded in this latter-named operation, he would, by insensible
+stages, draw himself away, and give himself up to enthusiastic
+admiration of his partner, or, apparently, of his conversational
+ability.
+
+The Spring of 1869 found the Chums in the crew of the _Bennett_, "the
+peerless floating palace of the Mississippi," as she was called by those
+newspapers whose reporters had the freedom of the _Bennett's_ bar; and
+the same season saw the _Bennett_ staggering down the Mississippi with
+so heavy a load of sacked corn, that the gunwales amidships were fairly
+under water.
+
+The river was very low, so the _Bennett_ kept carefully in the channel;
+but the channel of the great muddy ditch which drains half the Union is
+as fickle as disappointed lovers declare women to be, and it has no more
+respect for great steamer-loads of corn than Goliath had for David.
+
+A little Ohio river-boat, bound upward, had reported the sudden
+disappearance of a woodyard a little way above Milliken's Bend, where
+the channel hugged the shore, and with the woodyard there had
+disappeared an enormous sycamore-tree, which had for years served as a
+tying-post for steamers.
+
+As live sycamores are about as disinclined to float as bars of lead are,
+the captain and pilot of the _Bennett_ were somewhat concerned--for the
+sake of the corn--to know the exact location of the tree.
+
+Half a mile from the spot it became evident, even to the passengers
+clustered forward on the cabin-deck, that the sycamore had remained
+quite near to its old home, for a long, rough ripple was seen directly
+across the line of the channel.
+
+Then arose the question as to how much water was on top of the tree, and
+whether any bar had had time to accumulate.
+
+The steamer was stopped, the engines were reversed and worked by hand to
+keep the _Bennett_ from drifting down-stream, a boat was lowered and
+manned, the Chums forming part of her crew, and the second officer went
+down to take soundings; while the passengers, to whom even so small a
+cause for excitement was a godsend, crowded the rail and stared.
+
+The boat shot rapidly down stream, headed for the shore-end of the
+ripple. She seemed almost into the boiling mud in front of her when the
+passengers on the steamer heard the mate in the boat shout: "Back all!"
+
+The motion of the oars changed in an instant, but a little too late,
+for, a heavy root of the fallen giant, just covered by the water, caught
+the little craft, and caused it to careen so violently that one man was
+thrown into the water. As she righted, another man went in.
+
+"Confound it!" growled the captain, who was leaning out of the
+pilot-house window. "I hope they can swim, still, 'tain't as bad as it
+would be if we had any more cargo to take aboard."
+
+"It's the Chums," remarked the pilot, who had brought a glass to bear
+upon the boat.
+
+"Thunder!" exclaimed the captain, striking a bell. "Below there! Lower
+away another boat--lively!" Then, turning to the passengers, he
+exclaimed: "Nobody on the river'd forgive me if I lost the Chums.
+'Twould be as bad as Barnum losing the giraffe."
+
+The occupants of the first boat were evidently of the captain's own
+mind, for they were eagerly peering over her side, and into the water.
+
+Suddenly the pilot dropped his glass, extemporized a. trumpet with both
+hands, and shouted:
+
+"Forrard--forrard! One of 'em's up!" Then he put, his mouth to the
+speaking-tube, and screamed to the engineer: "Let her drop down a
+little, Billy!"
+
+The sounding party headed toward a black speck, apparently a hundred
+yards below them, and the great steamer slowly drifted down-stream. The
+speck moved toward shore, and the boat, rapidly shortening distance,
+seemed to scrape the bank with her port oars.
+
+"Safe enough now, I guess!" exclaimed Judge Turner, of one of the
+Southern Illinois circuits.
+
+The Judge had been interrupted in telling a story when the accident
+occurred, and was in a hurry to resume.
+
+"As I was saying," said he, "he hardly looked like a professional
+horse-thief. He was little and quiet, and had always worked away
+steadily at his trade. I believed him when he said 'twas his first
+offense, and that he did it to raise money to bury his child; and I was
+going to give him an easy sentence, and ask the Governor to pardon him.
+The laws have to be executed, you know, but there's no law against mercy
+being practiced afterward. Well, the sheriff was bringing him from jail
+to hear the verdict and the sentence, when the short man, with red hair,
+knocked the sheriff down, and off galloped that precious couple for the
+Wabash. I saw the entire--"
+
+"The deuce!" interrupted the pilot, again dropping his glass.
+
+The Judge glared angrily; the passengers saw, across the shortened
+distance, one of the Chums holding by a root to the bank, and trying to
+support the other, whose shirt hung in rags, and who seemed exhausted.
+
+"Which one's hurt?" asked the captain. "Give me the glass."
+
+But the pilot had left the house and taken the glass with him.
+
+The Judge continued:
+
+"I saw the whole transaction through the window. I was so close that I
+saw the sheriff's assailant's very eyes. I'd know that fellow's face if
+I saw it in Africa."
+
+"Why, they're _both_ hurt!" exclaimed the captain. "They've thrown a
+coat over one, and they're crowdin' around the other. What the--They're
+comin' back without 'em--need whisky to bring 'em to, I suppose. Why
+didn't I send whisky down by the other boat? There's an awful amount of
+time being wasted here. What's the matter, Mr. Bell?" shouted the
+captain, as the boat approached the steamer.
+
+"Both dead!" replied the officer.
+
+"Both? Now, ladies and gentlemen," exclaimed the captain, turning toward
+the passengers, who were crowded forward just below him, "I want to know
+if that isn't a streak of the meanest kind of luck? Both the Chums gone!
+Why, I won't be able to hold up my head in New Orleans. How came it that
+just those two fellows were knocked out?"
+
+"Red tumbled out, and Black jumped in after him," replied the officer.
+"Red must have been caught in an eddy and tangled in the old tree's
+roots--clothes torn almost off--head caved in. Black must have burst a
+blood-vessel--his face looked like a copper pan when he reached shore,
+and he just groaned and dropped."
+
+The captain was sorry, so sorry that he sent a waiter for brandy. But
+the captain was human--business was business--the rain was falling, and
+a big log was across the boat's bow; so he shouted:
+
+"Hurry up and bury 'em, then. You ought to have let the second boat's
+crew gone on with that, and you have gone back to your soundings. They
+_was_ the Chums, to be sure, but now they're only dead roustabouts.
+Below there! Pass out a couple of shovels!"
+
+"Perhaps some ladies would go down with the boat, captain--and a
+preacher, too, if there's one aboard," remarked the mate, with an
+earnest but very mysterious expression.
+
+"Why, what in thunder does the fellow mean?" soliloquized the captain,
+audibly. "Women--and a preacher--for dead roustabouts? What do you mean,
+Mr. Bell?"
+
+"Red's a woman," briefly responded the mate.
+
+The passengers all started--the captain brought his hands together with
+a tremendous clap, and exclaimed:
+
+"Murder will out! But who'd have thought _I_ was to be the man to find
+out the secret of the Carmi Chums? Guess I'll be the biggest man on the
+New Orleans levee, after all. Yes, certainly--of course some ladies'll
+go--and a preacher, too, if there's such a man aboard. Hold up,
+though--we'll _all_ go. Take your soundings, quick, and we'll drop the
+steamer just below the point, and tie up. I wonder if there's a preacher
+aboard?"
+
+No one responded for the moment; then the Judge spoke.
+
+"Before I went into the law I was the regularly settled pastor of a
+Presbyterian Church," said he. "I'm decidedly rusty now, but a little
+time will enable me to prepare myself properly. Excuse me, ladies and
+gentlemen."
+
+The sounding-boat pulled away, and the Judge retired to his stateroom.
+The ladies, with very pale faces, gathered in a group and whispered
+earnestly with each other; then ensued visits to each other's
+staterooms, and the final regathering of the ladies with two or three
+bundles. The soundings were taken, and, as the steamer dropped
+down-stream, men were seen cutting a path down the rather steep clay
+bank. The captain put his hands to his mouth and shouted:
+
+"Dig only _one_ grave--make it wide enough for two."
+
+And all the passengers nodded assent and satisfaction.
+
+Time had been short since the news reached the steamer, but the
+_Bennett's_ carpenter, who was himself a married man, had made a plain
+coffin by the time the boat tied up, and another by the time the grave
+was dug. The first one was put upon a long handbarrow, over which the
+captain had previously spread a tablecloth, and, followed by the ladies,
+was deposited by the side of the body of Red. Half an hour later, the
+men placed Black in the other coffin, removed both to the side of the
+grave, and signalled the boat.
+
+"Now, ladies and gentlemen," said the captain.
+
+The Judge appeared with a very solemn face, his coat buttoned tight to
+his throat, and the party started. Colonel May, of Missouri, who read
+Voltaire and didn't believe in anything, maliciously took the Judge's
+arm, and remarked:
+
+"You didn't finish your story, Judge."
+
+The Judge frowned reprovingly.
+
+"But, really," persisted the colonel, "I don't want curiosity to divert
+my mind from the solemn services about to take place. Do tell me if they
+ever caught the rascals."
+
+"They never did," replied the Judge. "The sheriff hunted and advertised,
+but he could never hear a word of either of them. But I'd know either
+one of them at sight. Sh--h--here we are at the grave."
+
+The passengers, officers, and crew gathered about the grave. The Judge
+removed his hat, and, as the captain uncovered the faces of the dead,
+commenced:
+
+"'I am the resurrection and the life'--Why, there's the horse-thief now,
+colonel! I beg your pardon, ladies and gentlemen. 'He that believeth
+in--'"
+
+Just then the Judge's eye fell upon the dead woman's face, and he
+screamed:
+
+"And there's the sheriff's assailant!"
+
+
+
+
+LITTLE GUZZY.
+
+
+Bowerton was a very quiet place. It had no factories, mills, or mines,
+or other special inducements to offer people looking for new localities;
+and as it was not on a railroad line, nor even on an important
+post-road, it gained but few new inhabitants.
+
+Even of travelers Bowerton saw very few. An occasional enterprising
+peddler or venturesome thief found his way to the town, and took away
+such cash as came in their way while pursuing their respective callings;
+but peddlers were not considered exactly trustworthy as news-bearers,
+while house-breakers, when detained long enough to be questioned, were
+not in that communicative frame of mind which is essential to one who
+would interest the general public.
+
+When, therefore, the mail-coach one day brought to Bowerton an old lady
+and a young one, who appeared to be mother and daughter, excitement ran
+high.
+
+The proprietor of the Bowerton House, who was his own clerk, hostler,
+and table-waiter, was for a day or two the most popular man in town;
+even the three pastors of the trio of churches of Bowerton did not
+consider it beneath their dignity to join the little groups which were
+continually to be seen about the person of the landlord, and listening
+to the meagre intelligence he was able to give.
+
+The old lady was quite feeble, he said, and the daughter was very
+affectionate and very handsome. He didn't know where they were going,
+but they registered themselves from Boston. Name was Wyett--young lady's
+name was Helen. He hoped they wouldn't leave for a long time--travelers
+weren't any too plenty at Bowerton, and landlords found it hard work to
+scratch along. Talked about locating at Bowerton if they could find a
+suitable cottage. Wished 'em well, but hoped they'd take their time, and
+not be in a hurry to leave the Bowerton House, where--if _he_ did say it
+as shouldn't--they found good rooms and good board at the lowest living
+price.
+
+The Wyetts finally found a suitable cottage, and soon afterward they
+began to receive heavy packages and boxes from the nearest railway
+station.
+
+Then it was that the responsible gossips of Bowerton were worked nearly
+to death, but each one was sustained by a fine professional pride which
+enabled them to pass creditably through the most exciting period.
+
+For years they had skillfully pried into each other's private affairs,
+but then they had some starting-place, some clue; now, alas! there was
+not in all Bowerton a single person who had emigrated from Boston, where
+the Wyetts had lived. Worse still, there was not a single Bowertonian
+who had a Boston correspondent.
+
+To be sure, one of the Bowerton pastors had occasional letters from a
+missionary board, whose headquarters were at the Hub, but not even the
+most touching appeals from members of his flock could induce him to
+write the board concerning the newcomers.
+
+But Bowerton was not to be balked in its striving after accurate
+intelligence.
+
+From Squire Brown, who leased Mrs. Wyett a cottage, it learned that Mrs.
+Wyett had made payment by check on an excellent Boston bank. The poor
+but respectable female who washed the floors of the cottage informed the
+public that the whole first floor was to be carpeted with Brussels.
+
+The postmaster's clerk ascertained and stated that Mrs. Wyett received
+_two_ religious papers per week, whereas no else in Bowerton took more
+than one.
+
+The grocer said that Mrs. Wyett was, by jingo, the sort of person _he_
+liked to trade with--wouldn't have anything that wasn't the very best.
+
+The man who helped to do the unpacking was willing to take oath that
+among the books were a full set of Barnes, Notes, and two sets of
+commentaries, while Mrs. Battle, who lived in the house next to the
+cottage, and who was suddenly, on hearing the crashing of crockery next
+door, moved to neighborly kindness to the extent of carrying in a nice
+hot pie to the newcomers, declared that, as she hoped to be saved, there
+wasn't a bit of crockery in that house which wasn't pure china.
+
+Bowerton asked no more. Brussels carpets, religious tendencies, a bank
+account, the ability to live on the best that the market afforded, and
+to eat it from china, and china only--why, either one of these
+qualifications was a voucher of respectability, and any two of them
+constituted a patent of aristocracy of the Bowerton standard.
+
+Bowerton opened its doors, and heartily welcomed Mrs. and Miss Wyett.
+
+It is grievous to relate, but the coming of the estimable people was the
+cause of considerable trouble in Bowerton.
+
+Bowerton, like all other places, contained lovers, and some of the young
+men were not so blinded by the charms of their own particular lady
+friends as to be oblivious to the beauty of Miss Wyett.
+
+She was extremely modest and retiring, but she was also unusually
+handsome and graceful, and she had an expression which the young men of
+Bowerton could not understand, but which they greatly admired.
+
+It was useless for plain girls to say that they couldn't see anything
+remarkable about Miss Wyett; it was equally unavailing for good-looking
+girls to caution their gallants against too much of friendly regard even
+for a person of whose antecedents they really knew scarcely anything.
+
+Even casting chilling looks at Miss Wyett when they met her failed to
+make that unoffending young lady any less attractive to the young men
+of Bowerton, and critical analysis of Miss Wyett's style of dressing
+only provoked manly comparisons, which were as exasperating as they were
+unartistic.
+
+Finally Jack Whiffer, who was of a first family, and was a store-clerk
+besides, proposed to Miss Wyett and was declined; then the young ladies
+of Bowerton thought that perhaps Helen Wyett had some sense after all.
+
+Then young Baggs, son of a deceased Congressman, wished to make Miss
+Wyett mistress of the Baggs mansion and sharer of the Baggs money, but
+his offer was rejected.
+
+Upon learning this fact, the maidens of Bowerton pronounced Helen a
+noble-spirited girl to refuse to take Baggs away from the dear, abused
+woman who had been engaged to him for a long time.
+
+Several other young men had been seen approaching the Wyett cottage in
+the full glory of broadcloth and hair-oil, and were noticeably depressed
+in spirits for days afterward, and the native ladies of marriageable age
+were correspondingly elated when they heard of it.
+
+When at last the one unmarried minister of Bowerton, who had been the
+desire of many hearts, manfully admitted that he had proposed and been
+rejected, and that Miss Wyett had informed him that she was already
+engaged, all the Bowerton girls declared that Helen Wyett was a darling
+old thing, and that it was perfectly shameful that she couldn't be let
+alone.
+
+After thus proving that their own hearts were in the right place, all
+the Bowerton girls asked each other who the lucky man could be.
+
+Of course he couldn't be a Bowerton man, for Miss Wyett was seldom seen
+in company with _any_ gentleman. He must he a Boston man--he was
+probably very literary--Boston men always were.
+
+Besides, if he was at all fit for her, he must certainly be very
+handsome.
+
+Suddenly Miss Wyett became the rage among the Bowerton girls.
+Blushingly and gushingly they told her of their own loves, and they
+showed her their lovers, or pictures of those gentlemen.
+
+Miss Wyett listened, smiled and sympathized, but when they sat silently
+expectant of similar confidences, they were disappointed, and when they
+endeavored to learn even the slightest particular of Helen Wyett's love,
+she changed the subject of conversation so quickly and decidedly that
+they had not the courage to renew the attempt.
+
+But while most Bowertonians despaired of learning much more about the
+Wyetts, and especially about Helen's lover, there was one who had
+resolved not only to know the favored man, but to do him some frightful
+injury, and that was little Guzzy.
+
+Though Guzzy's frame was small, his soul was immense, and Helen's
+failure to comprehend Guzzy's greatness when he laid it all at her feet
+had made Guzzy extremely bilious and gloomy.
+
+Many a night, when Guzzy's soul and body should have been taking their
+rest, they roamed in company up and down the quiet street on which the
+Wyetts' cottage was located, and Guzzy's eyes, instead of being fixed on
+sweet pictures in dreamland, gazed vigilantly in the direction of Mrs.
+Wyett's gate.
+
+He did not meditate inflicting personal violence on the hated wretch who
+had snatched away Helen from his hopes--no, personal violence could
+produce suffering but feeble compared with that under which the victim
+would writhe as Guzzy poured forth the torrent of scornful invective
+which he had compiled from the memories of his bilious brain and the
+pages of his "Webster Unabridged."
+
+At length there came a time when most men would have despaired.
+
+Love is warm, but what warmth is proof against the chilling blasts and
+pelting rains of the equinoctial storm?
+
+But then it was that the fervor of little Guzzy's soul showed itself;
+for, wrapped in the folds of a waterproof overcoat, he paced his
+accustomed beat with the calmness of a faithful policeman.
+
+And he had his reward.
+
+As one night he stood unseen against the black background of a high
+wall, opposite the residence of Mrs. Wyett, he heard the gate--_her_
+gate--creak on its hinges.
+
+It could be no ordinary visitor, for it was after nine o'clock--it must
+be _he_.
+
+Ha! the lights were out! He would be disappointed, the villain! Now was
+the time, while his heart would be bleeding with sorrow, to wither him
+with reproaches. To be sure, he seemed a large man, while Guzzy was very
+small, but Guzzy believed his own thin legs to be faithful in an
+emergency.
+
+The unknown man knocked softly at the front-door, then he seemed to tap
+at several of the windows.
+
+Suddenly he raised one of the windows, and Guzzy, who had not until then
+suspected that he had been watching a house-breaker, sped away like the
+wind and alarmed the solitary constable of Bowerton.
+
+That functionary requested Guzzy to notify Squire Jones, justice of the
+peace, that there was business ahead, and then hastened away himself.
+
+Guzzy labored industriously for some moments, for Squire Jones was very
+old, and very cautious, and very stupid; but he was at last fully
+aroused, and then Guzzy had an opportunity to reflect on the greatness
+which would be his when Bowerton knew of his meritorious action.
+
+And Helen Wyett--what would be her shame and contrition when she learned
+that the man whose love she had rejected had become the preserver of her
+peace of mind and her portable personal property?
+
+He could not exult over _her_, for that would be unchivalrous; but would
+not her own conscience reproach her bitterly?
+
+Perhaps she would burst into tears in the court-room, and thank him
+effusively and publicly! Guzzy's soul swelled at the thought, and he
+rapidly composed a reply appropriate to such an occasion. Suddenly Guzzy
+heard footsteps approaching, and voices in earnest altercation.
+
+Guzzy hastened into the squire's office, and struck an attitude
+befitting the importance of a principal witness.
+
+An instant later the constable entered, followed by two smart-looking
+men, who had between them a third man, securely handcuffed.
+
+The prisoner was a very handsome, intelligent-looking young man, except
+for a pair of restless, over-bright eyes.
+
+"There's a difference of opinion 'bout who the prisoner belongs to,"
+said the constable, addressing the squire; "and we agreed to leave the
+matter to you. When I reached the house, these gentlemen already had him
+in hand, and they claim he's an escaped convict, and that they've
+tracked him from the prison right straight to Bowerton."
+
+The prisoner gave the officers a very wicked look, while these officials
+produced their warrants and handed them to the justice for inspection.
+
+Guzzy seemed to himself to grow big with accumulating importance.
+
+"The officers seem to be duly authorized," said the squire, after a long
+and minute examination of their papers; "but they should identify the
+prisoner as the escaped convict for whom they are searching."
+
+"Here's a description," said one of the officers, "in an advertisement:
+'Escaped from the Penitentiary, on the ----th instant, William Beigh,
+_alias_ Bay Billy, _alias_ Handsome; age, twenty-eight; height, five
+feet ten; complexion dark, hair black, eyes dark brown, mole on left
+cheek; general appearance handsome, manly, and intelligent. A skillful
+and dangerous burglar. Sentenced in 1866 to five years'
+imprisonment--two years yet to serve.' That," continued the officer,
+"describes him to a dot; and, if there's any further doubt, look here!"
+
+As he spoke, he unclasped a cloak which the prisoner wore, and disclosed
+the striped uniform of the prison.
+
+"There seems no reasonable doubt in this case, and the prisoner will
+have to go back to prison," said the justice. "But I must detain him
+until I ascertain whether he has stolen anything from Mrs. Wyett's
+residence. In case he has done so, we can prosecute at the expiration of
+his term."
+
+The prisoner seemed almost convulsed with rage, though of a sort which
+one of the officers whispered to the other, he did not exactly
+understand.
+
+Guzzy eyed him resentfully, and glared at the officers with considerable
+disfavor.
+
+Guzzy was a law-abiding man, but to have an expected triumph belittled
+and postponed because of foreign interference was enough to blind almost
+_any_ man's judicial eyesight.
+
+"Well," said one of the officers, "put him in the lock-up' and
+investigate in the morning; we won't want to start until then, after the
+tramp he's given us. Oh, Bay Billy, you're a smart one--no mistake about
+that. Why in thunder don't you use your smartness in the right
+way?--there's more money in business than in cracking cribs."
+
+"Besides the moral advantage," added the squire, who was deacon as well,
+and who, now that he had concluded his official duties, was not adverse
+to laying down the higher law.
+
+"Just so," exclaimed the officer; "and for his family's sake, too. Why,
+would you believe it, judge? They say Billy has one of the finest wives
+in the commonwealth--handsome, well-educated, religious, rich, and of
+good family. Of course she didn't know what his profession was when she
+married him."
+
+Again the prisoner seemed convulsed with that strange rage which the
+officer did not understand. But the officers were tired, and they were
+too familiar with the disapprobation of prisoners to be seriously
+affected by it; so, after an appointment by the squire, and a final
+glare of indignation from little Guzzy, they started, under the
+constable's guidance, to the lock-up.
+
+Suddenly the door was thrown open, and there appeared, with uncovered
+head, streaming hair, weeping yet eager eyes, and mud-splashed garments,
+Helen Wyett.
+
+[Illustration: "WE MAY AS WELL FINISH THIS CASE TO-NIGHT, IF MISS WYETT
+IS PREPARED TO TESTIFY," SAID THE JUDGE.]
+
+Every one started, the officers stared, the squire looked a degree or
+two less stupid, and hastened to button his dressing-gown; the restless
+eyes of the convict fell on Helen's beautiful face, and were restless
+no longer; while little Guzzy assumed a dignified pose, which did not
+seem at all consistent with his confused and shamefaced countenance.
+
+"We may as well finish this case to-night, if Miss Wyett is prepared to
+testify," said the squire, at length. "Have you lost anything, Miss
+Wyett?"
+
+"No," said Helen; "but I have found my dearest treasure--my own
+husband!"
+
+And putting her arms around the convict's neck, she kissed him, and
+then, dropping her head upon his shoulder, she sobbed violently.
+
+The squire was startled into complete wakefulness, and as the moral
+aspect of the scene presented itself to him, he groaned:
+
+"Onequally yoked with an onbeliever."
+
+The officers looked as if they were depraved yet remorseful convicts
+themselves, while little Guzzy's diminutive dimensions seemed to
+contract perceptibly.
+
+At length the convict quieted his wife, and persuaded her to return to
+her home, with a promise from the officers that she should see him in
+the morning.
+
+Then the officers escorted the prisoner to the jail, and Guzzy sneaked
+quietly out, while the squire retired to his slumbers, with the firm
+conviction that if Solomon had been a justice of the peace at Bowerton,
+his denial of the newness of anything under the sun would never have
+been made.
+
+Now, the jail at Bowerton, like everything else in the town, was
+decidedly antiquated, and consisted simply of a thickly-walled room in a
+building which contained several offices and living apartments.
+
+It was as extensive a jail as Bowerton needed, and was fully strong
+enough to hold the few drunken and quarrelsome people who were
+occasionally lodged in it.
+
+But Beigh, _alias_ Bay Billy, _alias_ Handsome, was no ordinary and
+vulgar jail-bird, the officers told him, and, that he and they might
+sleep securely, they considered it advisable to carefully iron his
+hands.
+
+A couple of hours rolled away, and left Beigh still sitting moody and
+silent on the single bedstead in the Bowerton jail.
+
+Suddenly the train of his thoughts was interrupted by a low "stt--stt"
+from the one little, high, grated window of the jail.
+
+The prisoner looked up quickly, and saw the shadow of a man's head
+outside the grating.
+
+"Hello!" whispered Beigh, hurrying under the window.
+
+"Are you alone?" inquired the shadow.
+
+"Yes," replied the prisoner.
+
+"All right, then," whispered the voice. "There _are_ secrets which no
+vulgar ears should hear. My name is Guzzy. I have been in love with your
+wife. I hadn't any idea she was married; but I've brought you my
+apology."
+
+"I'll forgive you," whispered the criminal; "but--"
+
+"'Tain't that kind of apology," whispered Guzzy. "It's a steel one--a
+tool--one of those things that gunsmiths shorten gun-barrels with. If
+they can saw a rifle-barrel in two in five minutes, you ought to get out
+of here inside of an hour."
+
+"Not quite," whispered Beigh. "My hands and feet are ironed."
+
+"Then I'll do the job myself," whispered Guzzy, as he applied the tool
+to one of the bars; "for it will be daylight within two hours."
+
+The unaccustomed labor--for Guzzy was a bookkeeper--made his arms ache
+severely, but still he sawed away.
+
+He wondered what his employer would say should he be found out, but
+still he sawed.
+
+Visions of the uplifted hands and horror-struck countenances of his
+brother Church-members came before his eyes, and the effect of his
+example upon his Sunday-school class, should he be discovered, tormented
+his soul; but neither of these influences affected his saw.
+
+Bar after bar disappeared, and when Guzzy finally stopped to rest, Beigh
+saw a small square of black sky, unobstructed by any bars whatever.
+
+"Now," whispered Guzzy, "I'll drop in a small box you can stand on, so
+you can put your hands out and let me file off your irons. I brought a
+file or two, thinking they might come handy."
+
+Five minutes later the convict, his hands unbound, crawled through the
+window, and was helped to the ground by Guzzy.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Seizing the file from the little bookkeeper, Beigh commenced freeing his
+feet. Suddenly he stopped and whispered:
+
+"You'd better go now. I can take care of myself, but if those cursed
+officers should take a notion to look around, it would go hard with
+_you_. Run, God bless you, run!"
+
+But little Guzzy straightened himself and folded his arms.
+
+The convict rasped away rapidly, and finally dropped the file and the
+fragments of the last fetter. Then he seized little Guzzy's hand.
+
+"My friend," said he, "criminal though I am, I am man enough to
+appreciate your manliness and honor. I think I am smart enough to keep
+myself free, now I am out of jail. But, if ever you want a friend, tell
+Helen, _she_ will know where I am, and I will serve you, no matter what
+the risk and pain."
+
+"Thank you," said Guzzy; "but the only favor I'll ever ask of you might
+as well be named now, and you ought to be able to do it without risk or
+pain either. It's only this; be an honest man, for Helen's sake."
+
+Beigh dropped his head.
+
+"There _are_ men who would die daily for the sake of making her happy,
+but you've put it out of their power, seeing you've married her,"
+continued Guzzy. "_I'm_ nothing to her, and can't be, but for her sake
+to-night I've broken open the gunsmith's shop, broken a jail, and"--here
+he stooped, and picked up a bundle--"robbed my own employer's store of a
+suit of clothes for you, so you mayn't be caught again in those prison
+stripes. If I've made myself a criminal for her sake: can't her husband
+be an honest man for the same reason?"
+
+The convict wrung the hand of his preserver. He seemed to be trying to
+speak, but to have some great obstruction in his throat.
+
+Suddenly a bright light shone on the two men, and a voice was heard
+exclaiming, in low but very ferocious tones:
+
+"Do it, you scoundrel, or I'll put a bullet through your head!"
+
+Both men looked up to the window of the cell, and saw a bull's-eye
+lantern, the muzzle of a pistol, and the face of the Bowerton constable.
+
+The constable's right eye, the sights of his pistol and the breast of
+the convict were on the same visual line.
+
+Without altering his position or that of his weapon, the constable
+whispered:
+
+"I've had you covered for the last ten minutes. I only held in to find
+out who was helping you; but I heard too much for _my_ credit as a
+faithful officer. Now, what are you going to do?"
+
+"Turn over a new leaf," said the convict, bursting into tears.
+
+"Then get out," whispered the officer, "and be lively, too--it's almost
+daybreak."
+
+"I'll tell you what to do," said little Guzzy, when the constable
+hurriedly whispered:
+
+"Wait until _I_ get out of hearing."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+The excitement which possessed Bowerton the next morning, when the
+events of the previous night were made public, was beyond the
+descriptive powers of the best linguists in the village.
+
+Helen Wyett a burglar's wife!
+
+At first the Bowertonians scarcely knew whether it would be proper to
+recognize her at all, and before they were able to arrive at a
+conclusion the intelligence of the convict's escape, the breaking open
+of the gunsmith's shop, the finding of the front door of Cashing's store
+ajar, and the discovery by Cashing that at least one suit of valuable
+clothing had been taken, came upon the astonished villagers and rendered
+them incapable of reason, and of every other mental attribute except
+wonder.
+
+That the prisoner had an accomplice seemed certain, and some suspicious
+souls suggested that the prisoner's wife _might_ have been the person;
+but as one of the officers declared he had watched her house all night
+for fear of some such attempt, that theory was abandoned.
+
+Under the guidance of the constable, who zealously assisted them in
+every possible manner, the officers searched every house in Bowerton
+that might seem likely to afford a hiding-place, and then departed on
+what they considered the prisoner's most likely route.
+
+For some days Helen Wyett gave the Bowertonians no occasion to modify
+their conduct toward her, for she kept herself constantly out of sight.
+
+When, however, she did appear in the street again, she met only the
+kindest looks and salutations, for the venerable Squire Jones had talked
+incessantly in praise of her courage and affection, and the Squire's
+fellow-townsmen knew that when their principal magistrate was affected
+to tenderness and mercy, it was from causes which would have simply
+overwhelmed any ordinary mortal.
+
+It was months before Bowerton gossip descended again to its normal
+level; for a few weeks after the escape of Beigh, little Guzzy, who had
+never been supposed to have unusual credit, and whose family certainly
+hadn't any money, left his employer and started an opposition store.
+
+Next to small scandal, finance was the favorite burden of conversation
+at Bowerton, so the source of Guzzy's sudden prosperity was so
+industriously sought and surmised that the gossips were soon at needles'
+points about it.
+
+Then it was suddenly noised abroad that Mrs. Baggs, Sr., who knew
+everybody, had given Guzzy a letter of introduction to the Governor of
+the State.
+
+Bowerton was simply confounded. What _could_ he want? The Governor had
+very few appointments at his disposal, and none of them were fit for
+Guzzy, except those for which Guzzy was not fit.
+
+Even the local politicians became excited, and both sides consulted
+Guzzy.
+
+Finally, when Guzzy started for the State capital, and Helen Wyett, as
+people still called her, accompanied him, the people of Bowerton put on
+countenances of hopeless resignation, and of a mute expectation which
+nothing could astonish.
+
+It might be an elopement--it might be that they were going as
+missionaries; but no one expressed a positive opinion, and every one
+expressed a perfect willingness to believe anything that was supported
+by even a shadow of proof.
+
+Their mute agony was suddenly ended, for within forty-eight hours Guzzy
+and his traveling companion returned.
+
+The latter seemed unusually happy for the wife of a convict, while the
+former went straight to Squire Jones and the constable's.
+
+Half an hour later all Bowerton knew that William Beigh, _alias_ Bay
+Billy, _alias_ Handsome, had received a full and free pardon from the
+Governor.
+
+The next day Bowerton saw a tall, handsome stranger, with downcast eyes,
+walk rapidly through the principal street and disappear behind Mrs.
+Wyett's gate.
+
+A day later, and Bowerton was electrified by the intelligence that the
+ex-burglar had been installed as a clerk in Guzzy's store.
+
+People said that it was a shame--that nobody knew how soon Beigh might
+take to his old tricks again. Nevertheless, they crowded to Guzzy's
+store, to look at him, until shrewd people began to wonder whether Guzzy
+hadn't really taken Beigh as a sort of advertisement to draw trade.
+
+A few months later, however, they changed their opinions, for the
+constable, after the expiration of his term of office, and while under
+the influence of a glass too much, related the whole history of the
+night of Beigh's first arrival at Bowerton.
+
+The Bowertonians were law-abiding people; but, somehow, Guzzy's
+customers increased from that very day, and his prosperity did not
+decline even after "Guzzy & Beigh" was the sign over the door of the
+store which had been built and stocked with Mrs. Wyett's money.
+
+
+
+
+A ROMANCE OF HAPPY REST.
+
+
+Happy Rest is a village whose name has never appeared in gazetteer or
+census report. This remark should not cause any depreciation of the
+faithfulness of public and private statisticians, for Happy Rest
+belonged to a class of settlements which sprang up about as suddenly as
+did Jonah's Gourd, and, after a short existence, disappeared so quickly
+that the last inhabitant generally found himself alone before he knew
+that anything unusual was going on.
+
+When the soil of Happy Rest supported nothing more artificial than a
+broken wagon wheel, left behind by some emigrants going overland to
+California, a deserter from a fort near by discovered that the soil was
+auriferous.
+
+His statement to that effect, made in a bar-room in the first town he
+reached thereafter, led to his being invited to drink, which operation
+resulted in certain supplementary statements and drinks.
+
+Within three hours every man within five miles of that barroom knew that
+the most paying dirt on the continent had been discovered not far away,
+and three hours later a large body of gold-hunters, guided by the
+deserter, were _en route_ for the auriferous locality; while a
+storekeeper and a liquor-dealer, with their respective stocks-in-trade,
+followed closely after.
+
+The ground was found; it proved to be tolerably rich; tents went up,
+underground residences were burrowed, and the grateful miners ordered
+the barkeeper to give unlimited credit to the locality's discoverer. The
+barkeeper obeyed the order, and the ex-warrior speedily met his death
+in a short but glorious contest with John Barleycorn.
+
+There was no available lumber from which to construct a coffin, and the
+storekeeper had no large boxes; but as the liquor-seller had already
+emptied two barrels, these were taken, neatly joined in the centre, and
+made to contain the remains of the founder of the hamlet. The method of
+his death and origin of his coffin led a spirituous miner to suggest
+that he rested happily, and from this remark the name of the town was
+elaborated.
+
+Of course, no ladies accompanied the expedition. Men who went West for
+gold did not take their families with them, as a rule, and the settlers
+of new mining towns were all of the masculine gender.
+
+When a town had attained to the dignity of a hotel, members of the
+gentler sex occasionally appeared, but--with the exception of an
+occasional washerwoman--their influence was decidedly the reverse of
+that usually attributed to woman's society.
+
+For the privileges of their society, men fought with pistols and knives,
+and bought of them disgrace and sorrow for gold. But at first Happy Rest
+was unblessed and uncursed by the presence of any one who did not wear
+pantaloons.
+
+On the fifth day of its existence, however, when the arrival of an
+express agent indicated that Capital had formally acknowledged the
+existence of Happy Rest, there was an unusual commotion in the
+never-quiet village.
+
+An important rumor had spread among the tents and gopher-holes, and, one
+after another, the citizens visited the saloon, took the barkeeper
+mysteriously aside, and, with faces denoting the greatest concern,
+whispered earnestly to him. The barkeeper felt his importance as the
+sole custodian of all the village news, but he replied with affability
+to all questions:
+
+"Well, yes; there _had_ a lady come; come by the same stage as the
+express agent. What kind?--Well, he really couldn't say--some might
+think one way, an' some another. _He_ thought she was a real lady,
+though she wouldn't 'low anything to be sent her from the bar, and she
+hedn't brought no baggage. Thought so--_knowed_ she was a lady--in fact,
+would bet drinks for the crowd on it. 'Cos why?--'Cos nobody heerd her
+cuss or seed her laugh. H'd bet three to two she was a lady--_might_ bet
+two to one, ef he got his dander up on the subject. Then, on t'other
+hand, she'd axed for Major Axel, and the major, ez everybody know'd,
+was--well, he wasn't 'xactly a saint. Besides, as the major hedn't come
+to Happy Rest, nohow, it looked ez if he was dodgin' her for somethin'.
+Where was she stopping?--up to Old Psalmsinger's. Old Psalm bed turned
+himself out of house an' home, and bought her a new tea-kettle to boot.
+If anybody know'd anybody that wanted to take three to two, send him
+along."
+
+A few men called to bet, and bets were exchanged all over the camp, but
+most of the excitement centred about the storekeeper's.
+
+Argonauts, pioneers, heroes, or whatever else the early gold-seekers
+were, they were likewise mortal men, so they competed vigorously for the
+few blacking-brushes, boxes of blacking, looking-glasses, pocket-combs
+and neckties which the store contained. They bought toilet-soap, and
+borrowed razors; and when they had improved their personal appearance to
+the fullest possible extent, they stood aimlessly about, like unemployed
+workmen in the market-place. Each one, however, took up a position which
+should rake the only entrance to old Psalmsinger's tent.
+
+Suddenly, two or three scores of men struck various attitudes, as if to
+be photographed, and exclaimed in unison:
+
+"There she is!"
+
+From the tent of old Psalmsinger there had emerged the only member of
+the gentler sex who had reached Happy Rest.
+
+For only a moment she stood still and looked about her, as if uncertain
+which way to go; but before she had taken a step, old Psalmsinger raised
+his voice, and said:
+
+"I thort it last night, when I only seed her in the moonlight, but I
+_know_ it now--she's a lady, an' no mistake. Ef I was a bettin' man, I'd
+bet all my dust on it, an' my farm to hum besides!"
+
+A number of men immediately announced that they would bet, in the
+speaker's place, to any amount, and in almost any odds. For, though old
+Psalm, by reason of non-participation in any of the drinks, fights, or
+games with which the camp refreshed itself, was considered a mere
+nonentity, it was generally admitted that men of his style could tell a
+lady or a preacher at sight.
+
+The gentle unknown finally started toward the largest group of men,
+seeing which, several smaller groups massed themselves on the larger
+with alacrity.
+
+As she neared them, the men could see that she was plainly dressed, but
+that every article of attire was not only neat but tasteful, and that
+she had enough grace of form and carriage to display everything to
+advantage. A few steps nearer, and she displayed a set of sad but
+refined features, marred only by an irresolute, purposeless mouth.
+
+Then an ex-reporter from New York turned suddenly to a graceless young
+scamp who had once been a regular ornament to Broadway, and exclaimed:
+
+"Louise Mattray, isn't it?"
+
+"'Tis, by thunder!" replied the young man. "I knew I'd seen her
+somewhere. Wonder what she's doing here?"
+
+The reporter shrugged his shoulders.
+
+"Some wild-goose speculation, I suppose. Smart and gritty--if _I_ had
+her stick I shouldn't be here--but she always slips up--can't keep all
+her wires well in hand. Was an advertising agent when I left the
+East--picked up a good many ads, too, and made folks treat her
+respectfully, when they'd have kicked a man out of doors if he'd come on
+the same errand."
+
+"Say she's been asking for Axel," remarked the young man.
+
+"That so!" queried the reporter, wrinkling his brow, and hurrying
+through his mental notebook. "Oh, yes--there was some talk about them at
+one time. Some said they were married--_she_ said so, but she never took
+his name. She had a handsome son, that looked like her and the major,
+but she didn't know how to manage him--went to the dogs, or worse,
+before he was eighteen."
+
+"Axell here?" asked the young man.
+
+"No," replied the reporter; "and 'twouldn't do her any good if he was.
+The major's stylish and good-looking, and plays a brilliant game, but he
+hasn't any more heart than is absolutely necessary to his circulation.
+Besides, his--"
+
+The reporter was interrupted by a heavy hand falling on his shoulder,
+and found, on turning, that the hand belonged to "The General."
+
+The general was not a military man, but his title had been conferred in
+recognition of the fact that he was a born leader. Wherever he went the
+general assumed the reins of government, and his administration had
+always been popular as well as judicious.
+
+But at this particular moment the general seemed to feel unequal to what
+was evidently his duty, and he, like a skillful general, sought a
+properly qualified assistant, and the reporter seemed to him to be just
+the man he wanted.
+
+"Spidertracks," said the general, with an air in which authority and
+supplication were equally prominent, "you've told an awful sight of lies
+in your time. Don't deny it, now--nobody that ever reads the papers will
+b'leeve you. Now's yer chance to put yer gift of gab to a respectable
+use. The lady's bothered, and wants to say somethin' or ask somethin',
+and she'll understand your lingo better'n mine. Fire away now, lively!"
+
+The ex-shorthand-writer seemed complimented by the general's address,
+and stepping forward and raising the remains of what had once been a
+hat, said:
+
+"Can I serve you in any way, madame?"
+
+The lady glanced at him quickly and searchingly, and then, seeming
+assured of the reporter's honesty, replied:
+
+"I am looking for an old acquaintance of mine--one Major Axell."
+
+"He is not in camp, ma'am," said Spidertracks. "He was at Rum Valley a
+few days ago, when our party was organized to come here."
+
+"I was there yesterday," said the lady, looking greatly disappointed,
+"and was told he started for here a day or two before."
+
+"Some mistake, ma'am, I assure you," replied Spidertracks. "I should
+have known of his arrival if he had come. I'm an old newspaper man,
+ma'am, and can't get out of the habit of getting the news."
+
+The lady turned away, but seemed irresolute. The reporter followed her.
+
+"If you will return to Rum Yalley, ma'am, I'll find the major for you,
+if he is hereabouts," said he. "You will be more comfortable there, and
+I will be more likely than you to find him."
+
+The lady hesitated for a moment longer; then she drew from her pocket a
+diary, wrote a line or two on one of its leaves, tore it out and handed
+it to the reporter.
+
+"I will accept your offer, and be very grateful for it, for I do not
+bear this mountain traveling very well. If you find him, give him this
+scrawl and tell him where I am--that will be sufficient."
+
+"Trust me to find him, ma'am," replied Spidertracks. "And as the stage
+is just starting, and there won't be another for a week, allow me to see
+you into it. Any baggage?"
+
+"Only a small hand-bag in the tent," said she.
+
+They hurried off together, Spidertracks found the bag, and five minutes
+later was bowing and waving his old hat to the cloud of dust which the
+departing stage left behind it. But when even the dust itself had
+disappeared, he drew from his pocket the paper the fair passenger had
+given him.
+
+"'Tain't sealed," said he, reasoning with himself, "so there can't be
+any secrets in it. Let's see--hello! 'Ernest is somewhere in this
+country; I wish to see you about _him_--and about nothing else.'
+Whew-w-w! What splendid material for a column, if there was only a live
+paper in this infernal country! Looking for that young scamp, eh? There
+_is_ something to her, and I'll help her if I can. Wonder if I'd
+recognize him if I saw him again? I _ought_ to, if he looks as much like
+his parents as he used to do. 'Twould do my soul good to make the poor
+woman smile once; but it's an outrageous shame there's no good daily
+paper here to work the whole thing up in. With the chase, and fighting,
+and murder that _may_ come of it, 'twould make the leading sensation for
+a week!"
+
+The agonized reporter clasped his hands behind him and walked slowly
+back to where he had left the crowd. Most of the citizens had, on seeing
+the lady depart, taken a drink as a partial antidote to dejection, and
+strolled away to their respective claims, regardless of the occasional
+mud which threatened the polish on their boots; but two or three
+gentlemen of irascible tempers and judicial minds lingered, to decide
+whether Spidertracks had not, by the act of seeing the lady to the
+stage, made himself an accessory to her departure, and consequently a
+fit subject for challenge by every disappointed man in camp.
+
+The reporter was in the midst of a very able and voluble defense, when
+the attention of his hearers seemed distracted by something on the trail
+by which the original settlers had entered the village.
+
+Spidertracks himself looked, shaded his eyes, indulged in certain
+disconnected fragments of profanity, and finally exclaimed:
+
+"Axell himself, by the white coat of Horace Greeley! Wonder who he's got
+with him! They seem to be having a difficulty about something!"
+
+The gentlemen who had arraigned Spidertracks allowed him to be acquitted
+by default. Far better to them was a fight near by than the most
+interesting lady afar off.
+
+They stuck their hands into their pockets, and stared intently. Finally
+one of them, in a tone of disgusted resignation, remarked:
+
+"Axell ought to be ashamed of hisself; he's draggin' along a little
+feller not half the size _he_ is. Blamed if he ain't got his match,
+though; the little feller's jest doin' some gellorious chawin' an'
+diggin'."
+
+The excitement finally overcame the inertia of the party, and each man
+started deliberately to meet the major and his captive. Spidertracks,
+faithful to his profession, kept well in advance of the others. Suddenly
+he exclaimed to himself:
+
+"Good Lord! don't they know each other? The major didn't wear that beard
+when in New York; but the boy--he's just the same scamp, in spite of his
+dirt and rags. If _she_ were to see them now--but, pshaw! 'twould all
+fall flat--no live paper to take hold of the matter and work it up."
+
+"There, curse your treacherous heart!" roared the major, as he gave his
+prisoner a push which threw him into the reporter's arms. "Now we're in
+a civilized community, and you'll have a chance of learning the opinions
+of gentlemen on such irregularities. Tried to kill me, gentlemen, upon
+my honor!--did it after I had shared my eatables and pocket-pistol with
+him, too. Did it to get my dust. Got me at a disadvantage for a moment,
+and made a formal demand for the dust, and backed his request with a
+pistol--my own pistol, gentlemen! I've only just reached here; I don't
+yet know who's here, but I imagine there's public spirit enough to
+discourage treachery. Will some one see to him while I take something?"
+
+Spidertracks drew his revolver, mildly touched the young man on the
+shoulder, and remarked:
+
+"Come on."
+
+The ex-knight of the pencil bowed his prisoner into an abandoned
+gopher-hole (_i.e._, an artificial cave,) cocked his revolver, and then
+stretched himself on the ground and devoted himself to staring at the
+unfortunate youth. To a student of human nature Ernest Mattray was
+curious, fascinating, and repulsive. Short, slight, handsome, delicate,
+nervous, unscrupulous, selfish, effeminate, dishonest, and cruel, he was
+an excellent specimen of what city life could make of a boy with no
+father and an irresolute mother.
+
+The reporter, who had many a time studied faces in the Tombs, felt
+almost as if at his old vocation again as he gazed into the restless
+eyes and sullen features of the prisoner.
+
+Meanwhile Happy Rest was becoming excited. There had been some little
+fighting done since the settlement of the place, but as there had been
+no previous attempt at highway robbery and murder made in the vicinity,
+the prisoner was an object of considerable interest.
+
+In fact, the major told so spirited a story, that most of the
+inhabitants strolled up, one after another, to look at the innovator,
+while that individual himself, with the modesty which seems inseparable
+from true greatness, retired to the most secluded of the three
+apartments into which the cave was divided, and declined all the
+attentions which were thrust upon him.
+
+The afternoon had faded almost into evening, when a decrepit figure, in
+a black dress and bonnet, approached the cave, and gave Spidertracks a
+new element for the thrilling report he had composed and mentally
+rearranged during his few hours of duty as jailer.
+
+"Beats the dickens," muttered the reporter to himself, "how these
+Sisters of Charity always know when a tough case has been caught.
+Natural enough in New York. But where did _she_ come from? Who told her?
+Cross, beads, and all. Hello! Oh, Louise Mattray, you're a deep one; but
+it's a pity your black robe isn't quite long enough to hide the very
+tasty dress you wore this morning? Queer dodge, too--wonder what it
+means? Wonder if she's caught sight of the major, and don't want to be
+recognized?"
+
+The figure approached.
+
+"May I see the prisoner?" she asked.
+
+"No one has a better right, Mrs. Mattray," said the guardian of the
+cave, with a triumphant smile, while the poor woman started and
+trembled. "Don't be frightened--no one is going to hurt you. Heard all
+about it, I suppose?--know who just missed being the victim?"
+
+"Yes," said the unhappy woman, entering the cave.
+
+When she emerged it was growing quite dark. She passed the reporter with
+head and vail down, and whispered:
+
+"Thank you."
+
+"Don't mention it," said the reporter, quickly. "Going to stay until you
+see how things go with him?"
+
+She shook her head and passed on.
+
+The sky grew darker. The reporter almost wished it might grow so dark
+that the prisoner could escape unperceived, or so quickly that a random
+shot could not find him. There were strange noises in camp.
+
+The storekeeper, who never traveled except by daylight, was apparently
+harnessing his mules to the wagon--he was moving the wagon itself to the
+extreme left of the camp, where there was nothing to haul but wood, and
+even that was still standing in the shape of fine old trees.
+
+There seemed to be an unusual clearness in the air, for Spidertracks
+distinctly heard the buzz of some earnest conversation. There seemed
+strange shadows floating in the air--a strange sense of something moving
+toward him--something almost shapeless, yet tangible--something that
+approached him--that gave him a sense of insecurity and then of alarm.
+Suddenly the indefinable something uttered a yell, and resolved itself
+into a party of miners, led by the gallant and aggrieved major himself,
+who shouted:
+
+"Lynch the scoundrel, boys--that's the only thing to do!"
+
+The excited reporter sprang to his feet in an agony of genuine humanity
+and suppressed itemizing, and screamed:
+
+"Major, wait a minute--you'll be sorry if you don't!"
+
+But the gallant major had been at the bar for two or three hours,
+preparing himself for this valorous deed, and the courage he had there
+imbibed knew not how to brook delay--not until the crowd had reached the
+mouth of the cave and found it dark, and had heard one unduly prudent
+miner suggest that it might be well to have a light, so as to dodge
+being sliced in the dark.
+
+"Bring a light quick, then," shouted the major. "_I'll_ drag him out
+when it comes; he knows _my_ grip, curse him!"
+
+A bunch of dried grass was hastily lighted and thrown into the cave, and
+the major rapidly followed it, while as many miners as could crowd in
+after him hastened to do so. They found the major, with white face and
+trembling limbs, standing in front of the lady for whose sake they had
+done so much elaborate dressing in the morning, and who they had
+afterwards wrathfully seen departing in the stage.
+
+The major rallied, turned around, and said:
+
+"There's some mistake here, gentlemen. Won't you have the kindness to
+leave us alone?"
+
+Slowly--very slowly--the crowd withdrew. It seemed to them that, in the
+nature of things, the lady ought to have it out with the major with
+pistols or knives for disturbing her, and that they, who were in all the
+sadness of disappointment at failure of a well-planned independent
+execution, ought to see the end of the whole affair. But a beseeching
+look from the lady herself finally cleared the cave, and the major
+exclaimed:
+
+"Louise, what does this mean?"
+
+"It means," said the lady, with most perfect composure, "that, thanks to
+a worthless father and a bad bringing-up by an incapable mother, Ernest
+has found his way into this country. I came to find him, and I found him
+in this hole, to which his affectionate father brought him to-day. It is
+about as well, I imagine, that I helped him to escape, seeing to what
+further kind attentions you had reserved him."
+
+"Please don't be so icy, Louise," begged the major. "He attempted to rob
+and kill me, the young rascal; besides, I had not the faintest idea of
+who he was."
+
+"Perhaps," said the lady, still very calm, "you will tell me from whom
+he inherited the virtues which prompted his peculiar actions towards
+you? His _mother_ has always earned her livelihood honorably."
+
+"Louise," said the major, with a humility which would have astonished
+his acquaintance, "won't you have the kindness to reserve your sarcasm
+until I am better able to bear it? You probably think I have no heart--I
+acknowledge I have thought as much myself--but _something_ is making me
+feel very weak and tender just now."
+
+The lady looked critically at him for a moment, and then burst into
+tears.
+
+"Oh, God!" she sobbed, "what else is there in store for this poor,
+miserable, injured life of mine?"
+
+"Restitution," whispered the major softly--"if you will let me make it,
+or try to make it."
+
+The weeping woman looked up inquiringly, and said only the words:
+
+"And she?"
+
+"My first wife?" answered the major. "Dead--_really_ dead, Louise, as I
+hope to be saved. She died several years ago, and I longed to do you
+justice then, but the memory of our parting was too much for my cowardly
+soul. If you will take me as I am, Louise, I will, as long as I live,
+remember the past, and try to atone for it."
+
+She put her hand in his, and they left the gopher-hole together. As they
+disappeared in the outer darkness, there emerged from one of the
+compartments of the cave an individual whose features were
+indistinguishable in the darkness, but who was heard to emphatically
+exclaim:
+
+"If I had the dust, I'd start a live daily here, just to tell the whole
+story; though the way he got out didn't do _me_ any particular credit."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+For days the residents of Happy Rest used all available mental
+stimulants to aid them in solving the mystery of the major and the
+wonderful lady; but, as the mental stimulants aforesaid were all
+spirituous, the results were more deplorable than satisfactory. But
+when, a few days later, the couple took the stage for Rum Valley, the
+enterprising Spidertracks took an outside passage, and at the end of the
+route had his persistency rewarded by seeing, in the Bangup House, a
+Sister of Charity tenderly embrace the major's fair charge, start at the
+sight of the major, and then, after some whispering by the happy mother,
+sullenly extend a hand, which the major grasped heartily, and over which
+there dropped something which, though a drop of water, was not a
+rain-drop. Then did Spidertracks return to the home of his adoption, and
+lavish the stores of his memory; and for days his name was famous, and
+his liquor was paid for by admiring auditors.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+TWO POWERFUL ARGUMENTS.
+
+
+"Got him?"
+
+"You bet!"
+
+The questioner looked pleased, yet not as if his pleasure engendered any
+mental excitement. The man who answered spoke in an ordinary, careless
+tone, and with unmoved countenance, as if he were merely signifying the
+employment of an additional workman, or the purchase of a desirable
+rooster.
+
+Yet the subject of the brief conversation repeated above was no other
+than Bill Bowney, the most industrious and successful of the
+horse-thieves and "road-agents" that honored the southern portion of
+California with their presence.
+
+Nor did Bowney restrict himself to the duty of redistributing the
+property of other people. Perhaps he belonged to that class of political
+economists which considers superfluous population an evil; perhaps he
+was a religious enthusiast, and ardently longed that all mankind should
+speedily see the pearly gates of the New Jerusalem.
+
+Be his motives what they might, it is certain that when an unarmed man
+met Bowney, entered into a discussion with him, and lived verbally to
+report the same, he was looked upon with considerably more interest than
+a newly-made Congressman or a ten-thousand-acre farmer was able to
+inspire.
+
+The two men whose conversation we have recorded studied the ears of
+their own horses for several minutes, after which the first speaker
+asked:
+
+"How did you do it?"
+
+"Well," replied the other man, "ther' wasn't anything p'tickler 'bout
+it. Me an' him wuzn't acquainted, so he didn't suspect me. But I know'd
+his face--he wuz p'inted out to me once, durin' the gold-rush to Kern
+River, an' I never forgot him. I wuz on a road I never traveled
+before--goin' to see an old greaser, ownin' a mighty pretty piece of
+ground I wanted--when all of a sudden I come on a cabin, an' thar stood
+Bill in front of it, a-smokin'. I axed him fur a light, an' when he came
+up to give it to me, I grabbed him by the shirt-collar an' dug the spur
+into the mare. 'Twus kind of a mean trick, imposin' on hospitality
+that-a-way; but 'twuz Bowney, you know. He hollered, an' I let him walk
+in front, but I kep' him covered with the revolver till I met some
+fellers, that tied him good an' tight. 'Twuzn't excitin' wurth a
+durn--that is, ixcep' when his wife--I s'pose 'twuz--hollered, then I
+a'most wished I'd let him go."
+
+"Sheriff got him?" inquired the first speaker.
+
+"Well, no," returned the captor. "Sheriff an' judge mean well, I s'pose;
+but they're slow--mighty slow. Besides, he's got friends, an' they might
+be too much fur the sheriff some night. We tuk him to the Broad Oak, an'
+we thought we'd ax the neighbors over thar to-night, to talk it over. Be
+thar?"
+
+"You bet!" replied the first speaker. "And I'll bring my friends;
+nothing like having plenty of witnesses in important legal cases."
+
+"Jus' so," responded the other. "Well, here's till then;" and the two
+men separated.
+
+The Broad Oak was one of those magnificent trees which are found
+occasionally through Southern California, singly or dispersed in
+handsome natural parks.
+
+The specimen which had so impressed people as to gain a special name for
+itself was not only noted for its size, but because it had occasionally
+been selected as the handiest place in which Judge Lynch could hold his
+court without fear of molestation by rival tribunals.
+
+Bill Bowney, under favorable circumstances, appeared to be a very
+homely, lazy, sneaking sort of an individual; but Bill Bowney, covered
+with dust, his eyes bloodshot, his clothes torn, and his hands and feet
+tightly bound, had not a single attractive feature about him.
+
+He stared earnestly up into the noble tree under whose shadow he lay;
+but his glances were not of admiration--they seemed, rather, to be
+resting on two or three fragments of rope which remained on one of the
+lower limbs, and to express sentiments of the most utter loathing and
+disgust.
+
+The afternoon wore away, and the moon shone brilliantly down from the
+cloudless sky.
+
+The tramp of a horse was heard at a distance, but rapidly growing more
+distinct, and soon Bowney's captor galloped up to the tree.
+
+Then another horse was heard, then others, and soon ten or a dozen men
+were gathered together.
+
+Each man, after dismounting, walked up to where the captive lay, and
+gave him a searching look, and then they joined those who had already
+preceded them, and who were quietly chatting about wheat, cattle,
+trees--everything but the prisoner.
+
+Suddenly one of the party separated himself from the others, and
+exclaimed:
+
+"Gentlemen, there don't seem to be anybody else a-comin'--we might as
+well 'tend to bizness. I move that Major Burkess takes the chair, if
+there's no objections."
+
+No objections were made, and Major Burkess--a slight, peaceable,
+gentlemanly-looking man--stepped out of the crowd, and said:
+
+"You all know the object of this meeting, gentlemen. The first thing in
+order is to prove the identity of the prisoner."
+
+"Needn't trouble yourself 'bout that," growled the prisoner. "I'm Bill
+Bowney; an' yer too cowardly to untie me, though ther _be_ a dozen uv
+yer."
+
+"The prisoner admits he is Bill Bowney," continued the major, "but of
+course no gentleman will take offense at his remarks. Has any one any
+charge to make against him?"
+
+"Charges?" cried an excitable farmer. "Didn't I catch him untying my
+horse, an' ridin' off on him from Budley's? Didn't I tell him to drop
+that anamile, an' didn't he purty near drop _me_ instead?
+Charges?--here's the charge!" concluded the farmer, pointing
+significantly to a scar on his own temple.
+
+"Pity I didn't draw a better bead!" growled the prisoner. "The hoss only
+fetched two ounces."
+
+"Prisoner admits stealing Mr. Barke's horse, and firing on Mr. Barke.
+Any further evidence?"
+
+"Rather," drawled an angular gentleman. "I was goin' up the valley by
+the stage, an' all of a sudden the driver stopped where there wasn't no
+station. There was fellers had hold of the leaders, an' there was
+pistols p'inted at the driver an' folks in general. Then our money an'
+watches was took, an' the feller that took mine had a cross-cut scar on
+the back of his hand--right hand; maybe somebody'll look at Bill's."
+
+The prisoner was carried into the moonlight, and the back of his right
+hand was examined by the major. The prisoner was again placed under the
+tree.
+
+"The cut's there, as described," said the major. "Anything else?"
+
+"Ther's this much," said another. "I busted up flat, you all know, on
+account of the dry season, last year, an' I hadn't nothin' left but my
+hoss. Bill Bowney knowed it as well's anybody else, yet he come and
+stole that hoss. It pawed like thunder, an' woke me up--fur 'twas night,
+an' light as 'tis now--an' I seed Bowney a-ridin' him off. 'Twas a
+sneakin', mean, cowardly trick."
+
+The prisoner hung his head; he would plead guilty to theft and attempt
+to kill, and defy his captors to do their worst; but when meanness and
+cowardice were proved against him, he seemed ashamed of himself.
+
+"Prisoner virtually admits the charge," said the major, looking
+critically at Bowney.
+
+"Gentlemen," said Caney, late of Texas, "what's the use of wastin' time
+this way? Everybody knows that Bowney's been at the bottom of all the
+deviltry that's been done in the county this three year. Highway
+robbery's a hangin' offense in Texas an' every other well-regilated
+State; so's hoss-stealin', an' so's shootin' a man in the back, an' yit
+Bowney's done ev'ry one of 'em over an' over agin. Ev'rybody knows what
+we come here fur, else what's the reason ev'ry man's got a nice little
+coil o' rope on his saddle fur? The longer the bizness is put off, the
+harder it'll be to do. I move we string him up instanter."
+
+"Second the motion!" exclaimed some one.
+
+"I move we give him a chance to save himself," said a quiet farmer from
+New England. "When he's in the road-agent business, he has a crowd to
+help him. Now, 'twould do us more good to clean _them_ out than him
+alone, so let's give him a chance to leave the State if he'll tell who
+his confederates are. Somebody'll have to take care of him, of course,
+till we can catch them, and make sure of it."
+
+"'Twon't cost the somebody much, then," said the prisoner, firmly; "an'
+I'd give a cool thousand for a shot at any low-lived coyote that 'ud ax
+me to do sich an ungentlemanly thing."
+
+"Spoke like a man," said Caney, of Texas. "I hope ye'll die easy for
+that, Bill."
+
+"The original motion prevails," said the major; "all in favor will say
+ay."
+
+A decided "ay" broke from the party.
+
+"Whoever has the tallest horse will please lead him up and unsaddle
+him," said the major, after a slight pause. "The witnesses will take the
+prisoner in charge."
+
+A horse was brought under the limb, with the fragments of rope upon it,
+and the witnesses, one of them bearing a piece of rope, approached the
+prisoner.
+
+The silence was terrible, and the feelings of all present were greatly
+relieved when Bill Bowney--placed on the horse, and seeing the rope
+hauled taught and fastened to a bough by a man in the tree--broke into a
+frenzy of cursing, and displayed the defiant courage peculiar to an
+animal at bay.
+
+"Has the prisoner anything to say?" asked the major, as Bowney stopped
+for breath.
+
+"Better own up, and save yourself and reform, and help rid the world of
+those other scoundrels," pleaded the New Englander.
+
+"Don't yer do it, Bill--don't yer do it!" cried Caney, of Texas. "Stick
+to yer friends, an' die like a man!"
+
+"That's me!" said the prisoner, directing a special volley of curses at
+the New Englander. "It's ben said here that I wuz sneakin' an' cowardly;
+ther's _one_ way of givin' that feller the lie--hurry up an' do it!"
+
+"When I raise my hand," said the major, "lead the horse away; and may
+the Lord have mercy on your soul, Bowney!"
+
+"Amen!" fervently exclaimed the New Englander.
+
+Again there was a moment of terrible silence, and when a gentle wind
+swept over the wild oats and through the tree, there seemed to sound on
+the air a sigh and a shudder.
+
+Suddenly all the horses started and pricked up their ears.
+
+"Somebody's comin'!" whispered one of the party. "Sheriff's got wind of
+the arrangements, maybe!"
+
+"Comes from the wrong direction," cried Caney, of Texas, quickly. "It's
+somebody on foot--an' tired--an' light-footed--ther's two or
+three--dunno what kind o' bein's they _ken_ be. Thunder an' lightnin'!"
+
+Caney's concluding remark was inspired by the sudden appearance of a
+woman, who rushed into the shadow of the tree, stopped, looked wildly
+about for a moment, and then threw herself against the prisoner's feet,
+and uttered a low, pitiful cry.
+
+There was a low murmur from the crowd, and the major cried:
+
+"Take him down; give him fifteen minutes with his wife, and see she
+doesn't untie him."
+
+[Illustration: "TAKE HIM DOWN; GIVE HIM FIFTEEN MINUTES WITH HIS WIFE."]
+
+The man in the tree loosened the rope, Bowney was lifted off and placed
+on the ground again, and the woman threw herself on the ground beside
+him, caressed his ugly face, and wailed pitifully. The judge and jury
+fidgeted about restlessly. Still the horses stood on the alert, and soon
+three came through the oats--three children, all crying.
+
+As they saw the men they became dumb, and stood mute and frightened,
+staring at their parents.
+
+They were not pretty--they were not even interesting. Mother and
+children were alike--unwashed, uncombed, shoeless, and clothed in dirty,
+faded calico. The children were all girls--the oldest not more than ten
+years old, and the youngest scarce five. None of them pleaded for the
+prisoner, but still the woman wailed and moaned, and the children stood
+staring in dumb piteousness.
+
+The major stood quietly gazing at the face of his watch. There was not
+in Southern California a more honest man than Major Burkess; yet the
+minute-hand of his watch had not indicated more than one-half of fifteen
+minutes, when he exclaimed:
+
+"Time's up!"
+
+The men approached the prisoner--the woman threw her arms around him,
+and cried:
+
+"My husband! Oh, God!"
+
+"Madam," said the major, "your husband's life is in his own hands. He
+can save himself by giving the names of his confederates and leaving the
+State."
+
+"I'll tell you who they are?" cried the woman.
+
+"God curse yer if yer do!" hissed Bowney from between his teeth.
+
+"Better let him be, madam," argued Caney, of Texas. He'd better die like
+a man than go back on his friends. Might tell us which of 'em was man
+enough to fetch you and the young uns here? We'll try to be easy on him
+when we ketch him."
+
+"None of 'em," sobbed the woman. "We walked, an' I took turns totin' the
+young uns. My husband! Oh, God! my husband!"
+
+"Beg yer pardon, ma'am," said Bowney's captor, "but nobody can't b'leeve
+that; it's nigh onto twenty mile."
+
+"I'd ha' done it ef it had been fifty," cried the woman, angrily, "when
+_he_ wuz in trouble. Oh, God! Oh, God! Don't yer b'leeve it? Then look
+here!" She picked up the smallest child as she spoke, and in the dim
+light the men saw that its little feet were torn and bleeding. "'Twas
+their blood or his'n," cried the woman, rapidly, "an' I didn't know how
+to choose between 'em. God hev mercy on me! I'm nigh crazy!"
+
+Caney, of Texas, took the child from its mother and carried it to where
+the moonlight was unobstructed. He looked carefully at its feet, and
+then shouted:
+
+"Bring the prisoner out here."
+
+Two men carried Bowney to where Caney was standing, and the whole party,
+with the woman and remaining children, followed.
+
+"Bill," said Caney, "_I_ ain't a askin' yer to go back on yer friends,
+but _them_ is--look at 'em."
+
+And Caney held the child's feet before the father's eyes, while the
+woman threw her arms around his neck, and the two older children crept
+up to the prisoner, and laid their faces against his legs.
+
+"They're a-talkin' to yer, Bill," resumed Caney, of Texas, "an' they're
+the convincenist talkers _I_ ever seed."
+
+The desperado turned his eyes away; but Caney moved the child so its
+bleeding feet were still before its father's eyes.
+
+The remaining men all retired beneath the shadow of the tree, for the
+tender little feet were talking to them, too, and they were ashamed of
+the results.
+
+Suddenly Bowney uttered a deep groan.
+
+"'Tain't no use a-tryin'," said he, in a resigned tone. "Everybody'll be
+down on me, an' after all I've done, too! But yer ken hev their names,
+curse yer!"
+
+The woman went into hysterics; the children cried; Caney, of Texas,
+ejaculated, "Bully!" and then kissed the poor little bruised feet.
+
+The New Englander fervently exclaimed, "Thank God!"
+
+"I'll answer fur him till we get 'em," said Caney, after the major had
+written down the names Bowney gave him; "an'," continued Caney,
+"somebody git the rest of these young uns an' ther mother to my cabin
+powerful quick. Good Lord, don't I jist wish they wuz boys! I'd adopt
+the hull family."
+
+The court informally adjourned _sine die_, but had so many meetings
+afterward at the same place to dispose of Bowney's accomplices, that his
+freedom was considered fairly purchased, and he and his family were
+located a good way from the scenes of his most noted exploits.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+MR. PUTCHETT'S LOVE.
+
+
+Just after two o'clock, on a July afternoon, Mr. Putchett mounted
+several steps of the Sub-Treasury in Wall Street, and gazed inquiringly
+up and down the street.
+
+To the sentimental observer Mr. Putchett's action, in taking the
+position we have indicated, may have seemed to signify that Mr. Putchett
+was of an aspiring disposition, and that in ascending the steps he
+exemplified his desire to get above the curbstone whose name was used as
+a qualifying adjective whenever Mr. Putchett was mentioned as a broker.
+Those persons, however, who enjoyed the honor of Mr. Putchett's
+acquaintance immediately understood that the operator in question was in
+funds that day, and that he had taken the position from which he could
+most easily announce his moneyed condition to all who might desire
+assistance from him.
+
+It was rather late in the day for business, and certain persons who had
+until that hour been unsuccessful in obtaining the accommodations
+desired were not at all particular whether their demands were satisfied
+in a handsome office, or under the only roof that can be enjoyed free of
+rent.
+
+There came to Mr. Putchett oddly-clothed members of his own profession,
+and offered for sale securities whose numbers Mr. Putchett compared with
+those on a list of bonds stolen; men who deposited with him small
+articles of personal property--principally jewelry--as collaterals on
+small loans at short time and usurious rates; men who stood before him
+on the sidewalk, caught his eye, summoned him by a slight motion of the
+head, and disappeared around the corner, whither Mr. Putchett followed
+them only to promptly transact business and hurry back to his
+business-stand.
+
+In fact, Mr. Putchett was very busy, and as in his case business
+invariably indicated profit, it was not wonderful that his rather
+unattractive face lightened and expressed its owner's satisfaction at
+the amount of business he was doing. Suddenly, however, there attacked
+Mr. Putchett the fate which, in its peculiarity of visiting people in
+their happiest hours, has been bemoaned by poets of genuine and doubtful
+inspiration, from the days of the sweet singer of Israel unto those of
+that sweet singer of Erin, whose recital of experience with young
+gazelles illustrates the remorselessness of the fate alluded to.
+
+Plainly speaking, Mr. Putchett went suddenly under a cloud, for during
+one of his dashes around the corner after a man who had signaled him,
+and at the same time commenced to remove a ring from his finger, a
+small, dirty boy handed Mr. Putchett a soiled card, on which was
+penciled:
+
+"Bayle is after you, about that diamond."
+
+Despite the fact that Mr. Putchett had not been shaved for some days,
+and had apparently neglected the duty of facial ablution for quite as
+long a time, he turned pale and looked quickly behind him and across the
+street; then muttering "Just my luck!" and a few other words more
+desponding than polite in nature, he hurried to the Post-Office, where
+he penciled and dispatched a few postal-cards, signed in initials only,
+announcing an unexpected and temporary absence. Then, still looking
+carefully and often at the faces in sight, he entered a newspaper office
+and consulted a railway directory. He seemed in doubt, as he rapidly
+turned the leaves; and when he reached the timetable of a certain road
+running near and parallel to the seaside, the change in his countenance
+indicated that he had learned the whereabouts of a city of refuge.
+
+An hour later Mr. Putchett, having to bid no family good-by, to care
+for no securities save those stowed away in his capacious pockets, and
+freed from the annoyance of baggage by reason of the fact that he had on
+his back the only outer garments that he owned, was rapidly leaving New
+York on a train, which he had carefully assured himself did not carry
+the dreaded Bayle.
+
+Once fairly started, Mr. Putchett in some measure recovered his spirits.
+He introduced himself to a brakeman by means of a cigar, and questioned
+him until he satisfied himself that the place to which he had purchased
+a ticket was indeed unknown to the world, being far from the city,
+several miles from the railroad, and on a beach where boats could not
+safely land. He also learned that it was not a fashionable Summer
+resort, and that a few farmhouses (whose occupants took Summer boarders)
+and an unsuccessful hotel were the only buildings in the place.
+
+Arrived at his destination, Mr. Putchett registered at the hotel and
+paid the week's board which the landlord, after a critical survey of his
+new patron, demanded in advance.
+
+Then the exiled operator tilted a chair in the barroom, lit an execrable
+cigar, and, instead of expressing sentiments of gratitude appropriate to
+the occasion, gave way to profane condemnations of the bad fortune which
+had compelled him to abandon his business.
+
+He hungrily examined the faces of the few fishermen of the neighboring
+bay who came in to drink and smoke, but no one of them seemed likely to
+need money--certainly no one of them seemed to have acceptable
+collaterals about his person or clothing. On the contrary, these men,
+while each one threw Mr. Putchett a stare of greater or less magnitude,
+let the financier alone so completely that he was conscious of a severe
+wound in his self-esteem.
+
+It was a strange experience, and at first it angered him so that he
+strode up to the bar, ordered a glass of best brandy, and defiantly
+drank alone; but neither the strength of the liquor nor the intensity of
+his anger prevented him from soon feeling decidedly lonely.
+
+At the cheap hotel at which he lodged when in New York there was no one
+who loved him or even feared him, but there were a few men of his own
+kind who had, for purposes of mutual recreation, tabooed business
+transactions with each other, and among these he found a grim sort of
+enjoyment--of companionship, at least. Here, however, he was so utterly
+alone as to be almost frightened, and the murmuring and moaning of the
+surf on the beach near the hotel added to his loneliness a sense of
+terror.
+
+Almost overcome by dismal forebodings, Mr. Putchett hurried out of the
+hotel and toward the beach. Once upon the sands, he felt better; the few
+people who were there were strangers, of course, but they were women and
+children; and if the expression of those who noticed him was wondering,
+it was inoffensive--at times even pitying, and Mr. Putchett was in a
+humor to gratefully accept even pity.
+
+Soon the sun fell, and the people straggled toward their respective
+boarding-houses, and Mr. Putchett, to fight off loneliness as long as
+possible, rose from the bench on which he had been sitting and followed
+the party up the beach.
+
+He had supposed himself the last person that left the beach, but in a
+moment or two he heard a childish voice shouting:
+
+"Mister, mister! I guess you've lost something!"
+
+Mr. Putchett turned quickly, and saw a little girl, six or seven years
+of age, running toward him. In one hand she held a small pail and wooden
+shovel, and in the other something bright, which was too large for her
+little hand to cover.
+
+She reached the broker's side, turned up a bright, healthy face, opened
+her hand and displayed a watch, and said:
+
+"It was right there on the bench where you were sitting. I couldn't
+think what it was, it shone so."
+
+Mr. Putchett at first looked suspiciously at the child, for he had at
+one period of his life labored industriously in the business of dropping
+bogus pocketbooks and watches, and obtaining rewards from persons
+claiming to be their owners.
+
+[Illustration: MR. PUTCHETT'S NEW FRIEND.]
+
+Examining the watch which the child handed him, however, he recognized
+it as one upon which he had lent twenty dollars earlier in the day.
+
+First prudently replacing the watch in the pocket of his pantaloons, so
+as to avoid any complication while settling with the finder, he handed
+the child a quarter.
+
+"Oh, no, thank you," said she, hastily; "mamma gives me money whenever I
+need it."
+
+The experienced operator immediately placed the fractional currency
+where it might not tempt the child to change her mind. Then he studied
+her face with considerable curiosity, and asked:
+
+"Do you live here?"
+
+"Oh, no," she replied; "we're only spending the Summer here. We live in
+New York."
+
+Mr. Putchett opened his eyes, whistled, and remarked:
+
+"It's very funny."
+
+"Why, I don't think so," said the child, very innocently. "Lots of
+people that board here come from New York. Don't you want to see my
+well? I dug the deepest well of anybody to-day. Just come and see--it's
+only a few steps from here."
+
+Mechanically, as one straggling with a problem above his comprehension,
+the financier followed the child, and gazed into a hole, perhaps a foot
+and a half deep, on the beach.
+
+"That's my well," said she, "and that one next it is Frank's. Nellie's
+is way up there. I guess hers _would_ have been the biggest, but a wave
+came up and spoiled it."
+
+Mr. Putchett looked from the well into the face of its little digger,
+and was suddenly conscious of an insane desire to drink some of the
+water. He took the child's pail, dipped some water, and was carrying it
+to his lips, when the child spoiled what was probably the first
+sentimental feeling of Mr. Putchett's life by hastily exclaiming:
+
+"You mustn't drink that--it's salty!"
+
+The sentimentalist sorrowfully put the bitter draught away, and the
+child rattled on:
+
+"If you're down here to-morrow, I'll show you where we find
+scallop-shells; maybe you can find some with pink and yellow spots on
+them. _I've_ got some. If you don't find any, I'll give you one."
+
+"Thank you," said her companion.
+
+Just then some one shouted "Alice!" and the child exclaiming, "Mamma's
+calling me; good-by," hurried away, while the broker walked slowly
+toward the hotel with an expression of countenance which would have
+hidden him from his oldest acquaintance.
+
+Mr. Putchett spent the evening on the piazza instead of in the barroom,
+and he neither smoked nor drank. Before retiring he contracted with the
+colored cook to shave him in the morning, and to black his boots; and he
+visited the single store of the neighborhood and purchased a shirt, some
+collars, and a cravat.
+
+When in the morning he was duly shaved, dressed and brushed, he
+critically surveyed himself in the glass, and seemed quite dissatisfied.
+He moved from the glass, spread a newspaper on the table, and put into
+it the contents of his capacious pockets. A second examination before
+the glass seemed more satisfactory in result, thus indicating that to
+the eye of Mr. Putchett his well-stuffed pockets had been unsightly in
+effect.
+
+The paper and its contents he gave the landlord to deposit in the hotel
+safe; then he ate a hurried, scanty breakfast, and again sought the
+bench on the beach.
+
+No one was in sight, for it was scarcely breakfast-time at the
+boarding-houses; so he looked for little Alice's well, and mourned to
+find that the tide had not even left any sign of its location.
+
+Then he seated himself on the bench again, contemplating his boots,
+looked up the road, stared out to sea, and then looked up the road
+again, tried to decipher some of the names carved on the bench, walked
+backward and forward, looking up the road at each turn he made, and in
+every way indicated the unpleasant effect of hope deferred.
+
+Finally, however, after two hours of fruitless search, Mr. Putchett's
+eyes were rewarded by the sight of little Alice approaching the beach
+with a bathing-party. He at first hurried forward to meet her, but he
+was restrained by a sentiment found alike in curbstone-brokers and in
+charming young ladies--a feeling that it is not well to give one's self
+away without first being sufficiently solicited to do so.
+
+He noticed, with a mingled pleasure and uneasiness, that little Alice
+did not at first recognize him, so greatly had his toilet altered his
+general appearance.
+
+Even after he made himself known, he was compelled to submit to further
+delay, for the party had come to the beach to bathe, and little Alice
+must bathe, too.
+
+She emerged from a bathing-house in a garb very odd to the eyes of Mr.
+Putchett, but one which did not at all change that gentleman's opinion
+of the wearer. She ran into the water, was thrown down by the surf, she
+was swallowed by some big waves and dived through others, and all the
+while the veteran operator watched her with a solicitude, which, despite
+his anxiety for her safety, gave him a sensation as delightful as it was
+strange.
+
+The bath ended, Alice rejoined Mr. Putchett and conducted him to the
+spot where the wonderful shells with pink and yellow spots were found.
+The new shell-seeker was disgusted when the child shouted "Come along!"
+to several other children, and was correspondingly delighted when they
+said, in substance, that shells were not so attractive as once they
+were.
+
+Mr. Putchett's researches in conchology were not particularly
+successful, for while he manfully moved about in the uncomfortable and
+ungraceful position peculiar to shell-seekers, he looked rather at the
+healthy, honest, eager little face near him than at the beach itself.
+
+Suddenly, however, Mr. Putchett's opinion of shells underwent a radical
+change, for the child, straightening herself and taking something from
+her pocket, exclaimed:
+
+"Oh, dear, somebody's picked up all the pretty ones. I thought, may be,
+there mightn't be any here, so I brought you one; just see what pretty
+pink and yellow spots there are on it."
+
+Mr. Putchett looked, and there came into his face the first flush of
+color that had been there--except in anger--for years. He had
+occasionally received presents from business acquaintances, but he had
+correctly looked at them as having been forwarded as investments, so
+they awakened feelings of suspicion rather than of pleasure.
+
+But at little Alice's shell he looked long and earnestly, and when he
+put it into his pocket he looked for two or three moments far away, and
+yet at nothing in particular.
+
+"Do you have a nice boarding-house?" asked Alice, as they sauntered
+along the beach, stopping occasionally to pick up pebbles and to dig
+wells.
+
+"Not very," said Mr. Putchett, the sanded barroom and his own rather
+dismal chamber coming to his mind.
+
+"You ought to board where we do," said Alice, enthusiastically. "We have
+_heaps_ of fun. Have you got a barn?"
+
+Mr. Putchett confessed that he did not know.
+
+"Oh, we've got a splendid one!" exclaimed the child. "There's stalls,
+and a granary, and a carriage-house and _two_ lofts in it. We put out
+hay to the horses, and they eat it right out of our hands--aren't afraid
+a bit. Then we get into the granary, and bury ourselves all up in the
+oats, so only our heads stick out. The lofts are just _lovely_: one's
+full of hay and the other's full of wheat, and we chew the wheat, and
+make gum of it. The hay-stalks are real nice and sweet to chew, too.
+They only cut the hay last week, and we all rode in on the wagon--one,
+two, three, four--seven of us. Then we've got two croquet sets, and the
+boys make us whistles and squalks."
+
+"Squalks?" interrogated the broker.
+
+"Yes; they're split quills, and you blow in them. They don't make very
+pretty music, but it's ever so funny. We've got two big swings and a
+hammock, too."
+
+"Is the house very full?" asked Mr. Putchett.
+
+"Not so very," replied the child. "If you come there to board, I'll make
+Frank teach you how to make whistles."
+
+That afternoon Mr. Putchett took the train for New York, from which city
+he returned the next morning with quite a well-filled trunk. It was
+afterward stated by a person who had closely observed the capitalist's
+movements during his trip, that he had gone into a first-class
+clothier's and demanded suits of the best material and latest cut,
+regardless of cost, and that he had pursued the same singular coarse at
+a gent's furnishing store, and a fashionable jeweler's.
+
+Certain it is that on the morning of Mr. Putchett's return a gentleman
+very well dressed, though seemingly ill at ease in his clothing, called
+at Mrs. Brown's boarding-house, and engaged a room, and that the younger
+ladies pronounced him very stylish and the older ones thought him very
+odd. But as he never intruded, spoke only when spoken to, and devoted
+himself earnestly and entirely to the task of amusing the children, the
+boarders all admitted that he was very good-hearted.
+
+Among Alice's numerous confidences, during her second stroll with Mr.
+Putchett, was information as to the date of her seventh birthday, now
+very near at hand. When the day arrived, her adorer arose unusually
+early, and spent an impatient hour or two awaiting Alice's appearance.
+As she bade him good-morning, he threw about her neck a chain, to which
+was attached an exquisite little watch; then, while the delighted child
+was astonishing her parents and the other boarders, Mr. Putchett betook
+himself to the barn in a state of abject sheepishness. He did not appear
+again until summoned by the breakfast-bell, and even then he sat with a
+very red face, and with eyes directed at his plate only. The child's
+mother remonstrated against so much money being squandered on a child,
+and attempted to return the watch, but he seemed so distressed at the
+idea that the lady dropped the subject.
+
+For a fortnight, Mr. Putchett remained at the boarding-house, and grew
+daily in the estimation of every one. From being thought queer and
+strange, he gradually gained the reputation of being the best-hearted,
+most guileless, most considerate man alive. He was the faithful squire
+of all the ladies, both young and old, and was adored by all the
+children. His conversational powers--except on matters of business--were
+not great, but his very ignorance on all general topics, and the
+humility born of that ignorance, gave to his manners a deference which
+was more gratifying to most ladies than brilliant loquacity would have
+been. He even helped little Alice to study a Sunday-school lesson, and
+the experience was so entirely new to him, that he became more deeply
+interested than the little learner herself. He went to church on Sunday,
+and was probably the most attentive listener the rather prosy old pastor
+had.
+
+Of course he bathed--everybody did. A stout rope was stretched from a
+post on the shore to a buoy in deep water where it was anchored, and
+back and forth on this rope capered every day twenty or thirty hideously
+dressed but very happy people, among whom might always be seen Mr.
+Putchett with a child on his shoulder.
+
+One day the waves seemed to viciously break near the shore, and the
+bathers all followed the rope out to where there were swells instead of
+breakers. Mr. Putchett was there, of course, with little Alice. He
+seemed perfectly enamored of the water, and delighted in venturing as
+far to the sea as the rope would allow, and there ride on the swells,
+and go through all other ridiculously happy antics peculiar to
+ocean-lovers who cannot swim.
+
+Suddenly Mr. Putchett's hand seemed to receive a shock, and he felt
+himself sinking lower than usual, while above the noise of the surf and
+the confusion of voices he heard some one roar:
+
+"The rope has broken--scramble ashore!"
+
+[Illustration: HE THREW UP HIS HAND AS A SIGNAL THAT THE LINE SHOULD BE
+DRAWN IN.]
+
+The startled man pulled frantically at the piece of rope in his hand,
+but found to his horror that it offered no assistance; it was evident
+that the break was between him and the shore. He kicked and paddled
+rapidly, but seemed to make no headway, and while Alice, realizing the
+danger, commenced to cry piteously, Mr. Putchett plainly saw on the
+shore the child's mother in an apparent frenzy of excitement and terror.
+
+The few men present--mostly boarding-house keepers and also ex-sailors
+and fishermen--hastened with a piece of the broken rope to drag down a
+fishing-boat which lay on the sand beyond reach of the tide. Meanwhile a
+boy found a fishing-line, to the end of which a stone was fastened and
+thrown toward the imperiled couple.
+
+Mr. Putchett snatched at the line and caught it, and in an instant half
+a dozen women pulled upon it, only to have it break almost inside Mr.
+Putchett's hands. Again it was thrown, and again the frightened broker
+caught it. This time he wound it about Alice's arm, put the end into her
+hand, kissed her forehead, said, "Good-by, little angel, God bless you,"
+and threw up his hand as a signal that the line should be drawn in. In
+less than a minute little Alice was in her mother's arms, but when the
+line was ready to be thrown again, Mr. Putchett was not visible.
+
+By this time the boat was at the water's edge, and four men--two of whom
+were familiar with rowing--sat at the oars, while two of the old
+fishermen stood by to launch the boat at the proper instant. Suddenly
+they shot it into the water, but the clumsy dip of an oar turned it
+broadside to the wave, and in an instant it was thrown, waterlogged,
+upon the beach. Several precious moments were spent in righting the boat
+and bailing out the water, after which the boat was safely launched, the
+fishermen sprang to the oars, and in a moment or two were abreast the
+buoy.
+
+Mr. Putchett was not to be seen--even had he reached the buoy it could
+not have supported him, for it was but a small stick of wood. One of
+the boarders--he who had swamped the boat--dived several times, and
+finally there came to the surface a confused mass of humanity which
+separated into the forms of the diver and the broker.
+
+A few strokes of the oars beached the boat, and old "Captain" Redding,
+who had spent his Winters at a government life-saving station, picked up
+Mr. Putchett, carried him up to the dry sand, laid him face downward,
+raised his head a little, and shouted:
+
+"Somebody stand between him and the sun so's to shade his head! Slap his
+hands, one man to each hand. Scrape up some of that hot, dry sand, and
+pile it on his feet and legs. Everybody else stand off and give him
+air."
+
+The captain's orders were promptly obeyed, and there the women and
+children, some of them weeping, and all of them pale and silent, stood
+in a group in front of the bathing-house and looked up.
+
+"Somebody run to the hotel for brandy," shouted the captain.
+
+"Here's brandy," said a strange voice, "and I've got a hundred dollars
+for you if you bring him to life."
+
+Every one looked at the speaker, and seemed rather to dislike what they
+saw. He was a smart-looking man, but his face seemed very cold and
+forbidding; he stood apart, with arms folded, and seemed regardless of
+the looks fastened upon him. Finally Mrs. Blough, one of the most
+successful and irrepressible gossips in the neighborhood, approached him
+and asked him if he was a relative of Mr. Putchett's.
+
+"No, ma'am," replied the man, with unmoved countenance. "I'm an officer
+with a warrant for his arrest, on suspicion of receiving stolen goods.
+I've searched his traps at the hotel and boarding-house this morning,
+but can't find what I'm looking for. It's been traced to him,
+though--has he shown any of you ladies a large diamond?"
+
+"No," said Mrs. Blough, quite tartly, "and none of us would have
+believed it of him, either."
+
+"I suppose not," said the officer, his face softening a little. "I've
+seen plenty of such cases before, though. Besides, it isn't my first
+call on Putchett--not by several."
+
+Mrs. Blough walked indignantly away, but, true to her nature, she
+quickly repeated her news to her neighbors.
+
+"He's coming to!" shouted the captain, turning Mr. Putchett on his back
+and attempting to provoke respiration. The officer was by his side in a
+moment. Mr. Putchett's eyes had closed naturally, the captain said, and
+his lips had moved. Suddenly the stranger laid a hand on the collar of
+the insensible man, and disclosed a cord about his neck.
+
+"Captain," said the officer, in a voice very low, but hurried and
+trembling with excitement, "Putchett's had a very narrow escape, and I
+hate to trouble him, but I must do my duty. There's been a five thousand
+dollar diamond traced to him. He advanced money on it, knowing it was
+stolen. I've searched his property and can't find it, but I'll bet a
+thousand it's on that string around his neck--that's Putchett all over.
+Now, you let me take it, and I'll let him alone; nobody else need know
+what's happened. He seems to have behaved himself here, judging by the
+good opinion folks have of him, and he deserves to have a chance which
+he won't get if I take him to jail."
+
+The women had comprehended, from the look of the stranger and the
+captain, that something unusual was going on, and they had crowded
+nearer and nearer, until they heard the officer's last words.
+
+"You're a dreadful, hateful man!" exclaimed little Alice.
+
+The officer winced.
+
+"Hush, daughter," said Alice's mother; then she said: "Let him take it,
+captain; it's too awful to think of a man's going right to prison from
+the gates of death."
+
+The officer did not wait for further permission, but hastily opened the
+bathing-dress of the still insensible figure.
+
+Suddenly the officer started back with an oath, and the people saw,
+fastened to a string and lying over Mr. Putchett's heart, a small
+scallop-shell, variegated with pink and yellow spots.
+
+"It's one I gave him when I first came here, because he couldn't find
+any," sobbed little Alice.
+
+The officer, seeming suddenly to imagine that the gem might be secreted
+in the hollow of the shell, snatched at it and turned it over. Mr.
+Putchett's arm suddenly moved; his hand grasped the shell and carried it
+toward his lips; his eyes opened for a moment and fell upon the officer,
+at the sight of whom Mr. Putchett shivered and closed his eyes again.
+
+"That chill's a bad sign," muttered the captain.
+
+Mr. Putchett's eyes opened once more, and sought little Alice; his face
+broke into a faint smile, and she stooped and kissed him. The smile on
+his face grew brighter for an instant, then he closed his eyes and
+quietly carried the case up to a Court of Final Appeals, before which
+the officer showed no desire to give evidence.
+
+Mr. Putchett was buried the next day, and most of the people in the
+neighborhood were invited to the funeral. The story went rapidly about
+the neighborhood, and in consequence there were present at the funeral a
+number of uninvited persons: among these were the cook, bar-keeper and
+hostler of the hotel, who stood uncomfortably a little way from the
+house until the procession started, when they followed at a respectful
+distance in the rear.
+
+When the grave was reached, those who dug it--who were also of those who
+carried the bier--were surprised to find the bottom of the coffin-box
+strewn and hidden with wild flowers and scraps of evergreen.
+
+The service of the Church of England was read, and as the words, "Ashes
+to ashes; dust to dust," were repeated, a bouquet of wild flowers was
+tossed over the heads of the mourners and into the grave. Mrs. Blough,
+though deeply affected by the services, looked quickly back to see who
+was the giver, and saw the officer (who had not been seen before that
+day) with such an embarrassed countenance as to leave no room for doubt.
+He left before daylight next morning, to catch a very early train: but
+persons passing the old graveyard that day beheld on Putchett's grave a
+handsome bush of white roses, which bush old Mrs. Gale, living near the
+hotel, declared was a darling pot-plant which had been purchased of her
+on the previous evening by an ill-favored man who declared he _must_
+have it, no matter how much he paid for it.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE MEANEST MAN AT BLUGSEY'S.
+
+
+To miners, whose gold-fever had not reached a ridiculous degree of heat,
+Blugsey's was certainly a very satisfactory location. The dirt was rich,
+the river ran dry, there was plenty of standing-room on the banks, which
+were devoid of rocks, the storekeeper dealt strictly on the square, and
+the saloon contained a pleasing variety of consolatory fluids, which
+were dispensed by Stumpy Flukes, ex-sailor, and as hearty a fellow as
+any one would ask to see.
+
+All thieves and claim-jumpers had been shot as fast as discovered, and
+the men who remained had taken each other's measures with such accuracy,
+that genuine fights were about as unfrequent as prayer-meetings.
+
+The miners dug and washed, ate, drank, swore and gambled with that
+delightful freedom which exists only in localities where society is
+established on a firm and well-settled basis.
+
+Such being the condition of affairs at Blugsey's, it seemed rather
+strange one morning, hours after breakfast, to see, sprinkled in every
+direction, a great number of idle picks, shovels and pans; in fact, the
+only mining implements in use that morning were those handled by a
+single miner, who was digging and carrying and washing dirt with an
+industry which seemed to indicate that he was working as a substitute
+for each and every man in the camp.
+
+He was anything but a type of gold-hunters in general; he was short and
+thin, and slight and stooping, and greatly round-shouldered; his eyes
+were of a painfully uncertain gray, and one of them displayed a cast
+which was his only striking feature; his nose had started as a very
+retiring nose, but had changed its mind half-way down; his lips were
+thin, and seemed to yearn for a close acquaintance with his large ears;
+his face was sallow and thin, and thickly seamed, and his chin appeared
+to be only one of Nature's hasty afterthoughts. Long, thin gray hair
+hung about his face, and imparted the only relief to the monotonous
+dinginess of his features and clothing.
+
+Such being the appearance of the man, it was scarcely natural to expect
+that miners in general would regard him as a special ornament to the
+profession.
+
+In fact, he had been dubbed "Old Scrabblegrab" on the second day of his
+occupancy of Claim No. 32, and such of his neighbors as possessed the
+gift of tongues had, after more intimate acquaintance with him,
+expressed themselves doubtful of the ability of language to properly
+embody Scrabblegrab's character in a single name.
+
+The principal trouble was, that they were unable to make anything at all
+of his character; there was nothing about him which they could
+understand, so they first suspected him, and then hated him violently,
+after the usual manner of society toward the incomprehensible.
+
+And on the particular morning which saw Scrabblegrab the only worker at
+Blugsey's, the remaining miners were assembled in solemn conclave at
+Stumpy Fluke's saloon, to determine what was to be done with the
+detested man.
+
+The scene was certainly an impressive one; for such quiet had not been
+known at the saloon since the few moments which intervened between the
+time, weeks before, when Broadhorn Jerry gave the lie to Captain Greed,
+and the captain, whose pistol happened to be unloaded, was ready to
+proceed to business.
+
+The average miner, when sober, possesses a degree of composure and
+gravity which would be admirable even in a judge of ripe experience, and
+miners, assembled as a deliberative body, can display a dignity which
+would drive a venerable Senator or a British M.P. to the uttermost
+extreme of envy.
+
+On the occasion mentioned above, the miners ranged themselves near the
+unoccupied walls, and leaned at various graceful and awkward angles.
+Boston Ben, who was by natural right the ruler of the camp, took the
+chair--that is, he leaned against the centre of the bar. On the other
+side of the bar leaned Stumpy Flukes, displaying that degree of
+conscious importance which was only becoming to a man who, by virtue of
+his position, was sole and perpetual secretary and recorder to all
+stated meetings at Blugsey's.
+
+Boston Ben glanced around the room, and then collectively announced the
+presence of a quorum, the formal organization of the meeting, and its
+readiness for deliberation, by quietly remarking:
+
+"Blaze away!"
+
+Immediately one of the leaners regained the perpendicular, departed a
+pace from the wall, rolled his tobacco neatly into one cheek, and
+remarked:
+
+"We've stood it long enough--the bottom's clean out of the pan, Mr.
+Chairman. Scrabblegrab's declined bitters from half the fellers in camp,
+an' though his gray old topknot's kept 'em from takin' satisfaction in
+the usual manner, they don't feel no better 'bout it than they did."
+
+The speaker subsided into his section of wall, composed himself into his
+own especial angles, and looked like a man who had fully discharged a
+conscientious duty.
+
+From the opposite wall there appeared another speaker, who indignantly
+remarked:
+
+"Goin' back on bitters ain't a toothful to what he's done. There's young
+Curly, that went last week. That boy played his hand in a style that
+would take the conceit clean out uv an angel. But all to onct Curly took
+to lookin' flaxed, an' the judge here overheard Scrabblegrab askin'
+Curly what he thort his mother'd say ef she knew he was makin' his money
+that way? The boy took on wuss an' wuss, an' now he's vamosed. Don't
+b'lieve me ef yer don't want ter, fellers--here's the judge hisself."
+
+The judge briskly advanced his spectacles, which had gained him his
+title, and said:
+
+"True ez gospel; and when I asked him ef he wasn't ashamed of himself
+fur takin' away the boy's comfort, he said No, an' that I'd be a more
+decent man ef I'd give up keards myself."
+
+"He's alive yit!" said the first speaker, in a tone half of inquiry and
+half of reproof.
+
+"I know it," said the judge, hastening to explain. "I'd lent my
+pepperbox to Mose when he went to 'Frisco, an' the old man's too little
+fur a man uv my size to hit."
+
+The judge looked anxiously about until he felt assured his explanation
+had been generally accepted. Then he continued:
+
+"What's he good fur, anyhow? He can't sing a song, except somethin'
+about 'Tejus an' tasteless hours,' that nobody ever heard before, an'
+don't want to agin; he don't drink, he don't play keards, he don't even
+cuss when he tumbles into the river. Ev'ry man's got his p'ints, an' ef
+he hain't got no good uns, he's sure to have bad uns. Ef he'd only show
+'em out, there might be somethin' honest about it; but when a feller
+jist eats an' sleeps an' works, an' never shows any uv the tastes uv a
+gentleman, ther's somethin' wrong."
+
+"I don't wish him any harm," said a tall, good-natured fellow, who
+succeeded the judge; "but the feller's looks is agin the reputation uv
+the place. In a camp like this here one, whar society's first-class--no
+greasers nur pigtails nur loafers--it ain't the thing to hev anybody
+around that looks like a corkscrew that's been fed on green apples and
+watered with vinegar--it's discouragin' to gentlemen that might hev a
+notion of stakin' a claim, fur the sake uv enjoyin' our social
+advantages."
+
+"N-none uv yer hev got to the wust uv it yit," remarked another. "The
+old cuss is too fond uv his dust. Billy Banks seen him a-buyin' pork up
+to the store, an' he handled his pouch ez ef 'twas eggs instid of gold
+dust--poured it out as keerful ez yer please, an' even scraped up a
+little bit he spilt. Now, when I wuz a little rat, an' went to
+Sunday-school, they used to keep a-waggin' at me 'bout evil
+communication a-corruptin' o' good manners. That's what _he'll_ do--fust
+thing yer know, _other_ fellers'll begin to be stingy, an' think gold
+dust wuz made to save instid uv to buy drinks an' play keards fur.
+_That's_ what it'll come to."
+
+"Beggin' ev'rybody's pardon," interposed a deserter from the army, "but
+these here perceedin's is irreg'lar. 'Tain't the square thing to take
+evidence till the pris'ner's in court."
+
+Boston Ben immediately detailed a special officer to summon Old
+Scrabblegrab, declared a recess of five minutes, and invited the boys to
+drink with him.
+
+Those who took sugar in theirs had the cup dashed from their lips just
+as they were draining the delicious dregs, for the officer and culprit
+appeared, and the chairman rapped the assembly to order.
+
+Boston Ben had been an interested attendant at certain law-courts in the
+States, so in the calm consciousness of his acquaintance with legal
+procedure he rapidly arraigned Scrabblegrab.
+
+"Scrabblegrab, you're complained uv for goin' back on bitters, coaxin'
+Curly to give up keards, thus spoilin' his fun, an' knockin'
+appreciatin' observers out of their amusement; uv insultin' the judge,
+uv not cussin' when you stumble into the river, uv not havin' any good
+p'ints, an' not showin' yer bad ones; uv bein' a set-back on the tone uv
+the place--lookin' like a green-apple-fed, vinegar-watered corkscrew, or
+words to that effect; an', finally, in savin' yer money. What hev you
+got to say agin' sentence bein' passed on yer?"
+
+The old man flushed as the chairman proceeded, and when the indictment
+reached its end, he replied, in a tone which indicated anything but
+respect for the court:
+
+"I've got just this to say, that I paid my way here, I've asked no
+odds of any man sence I've ben here, an' that anybody that takes pains
+to meddle with my affairs is an impudent scoundrel!"
+
+Saying which, the old man turned to go, while the court was paralyzed
+into silence.
+
+But Tom Dosser, a new arrival, and a famous shot, now stepped in front
+of the old man.
+
+"I ax yer parding," said Tom, in the blandest of tones, "but, uv course,
+yer didn't mean me when yer mentioned impudent scoundrels?"
+
+"Yes, I did--I meant you, and ev'rybody like yer," replied the old man.
+
+Tom's hand moved toward his pistol. The chairman expeditiously got out
+of range. Stumpy Flukes promptly retired to the extreme end of the bar,
+and groaned audibly.
+
+The old man _was_ in the wrong; but, then, wasn't it _too_ mean, when
+blood was so hard to get out, that these difficulties _always_ took
+place just after he'd got the floor clean?
+
+[Illustration: "I DON'T GENERALLY SHOOT TILL THE OTHER FELLER DRAWS."]
+
+"I don't generally shoot till the other feller draws," explained Tom
+Dosser, while each man in the room wept with emotion as they realized
+they had lived to see Tom's skill displayed before their very eyes--"I
+don't generally shoot till the other feller draws; but you'd better be
+spry. I usually make a little allowance for age, but--"
+
+Tom's further explanations were indefinitely delayed by an abnormal
+contraction of his trachea, the same being induced by the old man's
+right hand, while his left seized the unhappy Thomas by his waist-belt,
+and a second later the dead shot of Blugsey's was tossed into the middle
+of the floor, somewhat as a sheaf of oats is tossed by a practiced hand.
+
+"Anybody else?" inquired the old man. "I'll back Vermont bone an' muscle
+agin' the hull passel of ye, even if I _be_ a deacon.' The angel of the
+Lord encampeth round about them that fear him.'"
+
+"The angel needn't hurry hisself," said Tom Dosser, picking himself up,
+one joint at a time. "Ef that's the crowd yer travelin' with, and
+they've got a grip anything like yourn, I don't want nothin' to do with
+'em."
+
+Boston Ben looked excited, and roared:
+
+"This court's adjourned _sine die_."
+
+Then he rushed up to the newly announced deacon, caught him firmly by
+the right hand, slapped him heartily between the shoulders, and
+inquired, rather indignantly:
+
+"Say, old Angelchum, why didn't you ever let folks know yer style,
+instead uv trottin' 'round like a melancholy clam with his shells shut
+up tight? That's what this crowd wants to know! Now yev opened down to
+bed-rock, we'll git English Sam from Sonora, an' git up the tallest kind
+uv a rasslin' match."
+
+"Not unless English Sam meddles with my business, you won't," replied
+the deacon, quickly. "I've got enough to do fightin' speretual foes."
+
+"Oh," said Boston Ben, "we'll manage it so the church folks needn't
+think 'twas a set-up job. We'll put Sam up to botherin' yer, and yer can
+tackle him at sight. Then--"
+
+"Excuse me, Boston," interrupted Tom Dosser, "but yer don't hit the
+mark. I'm from Vermont myself, an' deacons there don't fight for the fun
+of it, whatever they may do in the village _you_ hail from." Then,
+turning to the old man, Tom asked: "What part uv the old State be ye
+from, deacon, an' what fetched ye out?"
+
+"From nigh Rutland," replied the deacon, "I hed a nice little place
+thar, an' wuz doin' well. But the young one's eyes is bad. None uv the
+doctors thereabouts could do anythin' fur 'em. Took her to Boston;
+nobody thar could do anythin'--said some of the European doctors were
+the only ones that could do the job safely. Costs money goin' to Europe
+an' payin' doctors--I couldn't make it to hum in twenty year; so I come
+here."
+
+"Only child?" inquired Tom Dosser, while the boys crowded about the two
+Vermonters, and got up a low buzz of sympathetic conversation.
+
+The old man heard it all, and to his lonesome and homesick soul it was
+so sweet and comforting, that it melted his natural reserve, and made
+him anxious to unbosom himself to some one. So he answered Tom:
+
+"Only child of my only darter."
+
+"Father dead?" inquired Tom Dosser.
+
+"Better be," replied the deacon, bitterly. "He left her soon after they
+were married."
+
+"Mean skunk!" said Tom, sympathetically.
+
+"I want to judge as I'd _be_ judged," replied the deacon; "but I feel ez
+ef I couldn't call that man bad enough names. Hesby was ez good a gal ez
+ever lived, but she went to visit some uv our folks at Burlington, an'
+fust thing I know'd she writ me she'd met this chap, and they'd been
+married, an' wanted us to forgive her; but he was so good, an' she loved
+him so dearly."
+
+"Good for the gal," said Tom, and a murmur of approbation ran through
+the crowd.
+
+"Of course, we forgave her. We'd hev done it ef she married Satan
+himself," continued the deacon. "But we begged her to bring her husband
+up home, an' let us look at him. Whatever was good enough for _her_ to
+love was good enough for us, and we meant to try to love Hesby's
+husband."
+
+"Done yer credit, deacon, too," declared Tom, and again the crowd
+uttered a confirmatory murmur. "Ef some folks--deacons, too--wuz ez
+good--But go ahead, deac'n."
+
+"Next thing we heard from her, he had gone to the place he was raised
+in; but a friend of his, who went with him, came back, an' let out he'd
+got tight, an' been arrested. She writ him right off, beggin' him to
+come home, and go with her up to our place, where he could be out of
+temptation an' where she'd love him dearer than ever."
+
+"Pure gold, by thunder!" ejaculated Tom, while a low "You bet," was
+heard all over the room.
+
+Tom's eyes were in such a condition that he thought the deacon's were
+misty, and the deacon noticed the same peculiarities about Tom.
+
+"She never got a word from him," continued the deacon; "but one of her
+own came back, addressed in his writing."
+
+"The infernal scoundrel!" growled Tom, while from the rest of the boys
+escaped epithets which caused the deacon, indignant as he was, to shiver
+with horror.
+
+"She was nearly crazy, an' started to find him, but nobody knowed where
+he was. The postmaster said he'd come to the office ev'ry day for a
+fortnight, askin' for a letter, so he must hev got hers."
+
+"Ef all women had such stuff in 'em," sighed Tom, "there'll be one fool
+less in California. 'Xcuse me, deac'n."
+
+"She never gev up hopin' he'd come back," said the deacon, in accents
+that seemed to indicate labored breath "an' it sometimes seems ez ef
+such faith 'd be rewarded by the Lord some time or other. She teaches
+Pet--that's her child--to talk about her papa, an' to kiss his pictur;
+an' when she an' Pet goes to sleep, his pictur's on the pillar beween
+'em."
+
+"An' the idee that any feller could be mean enough to go back on such a
+woman! Deacon, I'd track him right through the world, an' just tell him
+what you've told us. Ef _that_ didn't fetch him, I'd consider it a
+Christian duty an' privilege to put a hole through him."
+
+"I couldn't do that," replied the deacon, "even ef I was a man uv blood;
+fur Hesby loves him, an' he's Pet's dad; Besides, his pictur looks like
+a decent young chap--ain't got no hair on his face, an' looks more like
+an innercent boy than anythin' else. Hesby thinks Pet looks like him,
+an' I couldn't touch nobody looking like Pet. Mebbe you'd like to see
+her pictur," continued the deacon, drawing from his pocket an ambrotype,
+which he opened and handed Tom.
+
+"Looks sweet ez a posy," said Tom, regarding it tenderly. "Them little
+lips uv hern look jest like a rose when it don't know whether to open a
+little further or not."
+
+The deacon looked pleased, and extracted another picture, and remarked,
+as he handed it to Tom:
+
+"That's Pet's mother."
+
+[Illustration: THE DEACON LOOKED PLEASED, AND EXTRACTED ANOTHER
+PICTURE, AND REMARKED, AS HE HANDED IT TO TOM, "THAT'S PET'S MOTHER."
+TOM TOOK IT, LOOKED AT IT, AND SCREAMED, "MY WIFE!"]
+
+Tom took it, looked at it, and screamed:
+
+"_My wife_!"
+
+He threw himself on the floor, and cried as only a big-hearted man _can_
+cry.
+
+The deacon gazed wildly about, and gasped:
+
+"What's his name?--tell me quick!"
+
+"Tom Dosser!" answered a dozen or more.
+
+"That's him! Bless the Lord!" cried the deacon, and finding a seat,
+dropped into it, and buried his face in his hands.
+
+For several moments there was a magnificent attempt at silence, but it
+utterly failed. The boys saw that the deacon and Tom were working a very
+large claim, and to the best of their ability they assisted.
+
+Stumpy Flukes, under the friendly shelter of the bar, was able to fully
+express his feelings through his eyelids, but the remainder of the
+party, by taking turns at staring out the windows, and contemplating the
+bottles behind the bar, managed to delude themselves into the belief
+that their eyes were invisible. Finally, Tom arose. "Deacon--boys," he
+said, "I never got that letter. I wus afeard she'd hear about my scrape,
+so I wrote her all about it, ez soon ez I got sober, an' begged her to
+forgive me. An' I waited an' hoped an' prayed for an answer, till I
+growed desperate; an' came out here."
+
+"She never heerd from you, Thomas," sighed the deacon.
+
+"Deac'n," said Tom, "do you s'pose I'd hev kerried this for years"--here
+he drew out a small miniature of his wife--"ef I hadn't loved her? Yes,
+an' this too," continued Tom, producing a thin package, wrapped in
+oilskin. "There's the only two letters I ever got from her, an', just
+cos her hand writ 'em, I've had 'em just where I took 'em from for four
+years. I got 'em at Albany, 'fore I got on that cussed tare, an' they
+was both so sweet an' wifely, that I've never dared to read 'em since,
+fur fear that thinkin' on what I'd lost would make me even wuss than I
+am. But I ain't afeard now," said Tom, eagerly tearing off the oilskin,
+and disclosing two envelopes.
+
+He opened one, took out the letter, opened it with trembling hands,
+stared blankly at it, and handed it to the deacon.
+
+"Thar's my letter now--I got 'em in the wrong envelope!"
+
+"Thomas," said the deacon, "the best thing you can do is to deliver that
+letter yourself. An' don't let any grass grow under your feet, ef you
+ken help it."
+
+"I'm goin' by the first hoss I ken steal," said Tom.
+
+"An' tell her I'll be along ez soon as I pan out enough," continued the
+deacon.
+
+"An' tell her," said Boston Ben, "that the gov'nor won't be much behind
+you. Tell her that when the crowd found out how game the old man was,
+and what was on his mind, that the court was so ashamed of hisself that
+he passed around the hat for Pet's benefit, and"--here Boston Ben
+thoughtfully weighed the hat in his hands--"and that the apology's heavy
+enough to do Europe a dozen times; I know it, for I've had to travel
+myself occasionally."
+
+Here he deposited the venerable tile with its precious contents on the
+floor in front of the deacon. The old man looked at it, and his eyes
+filled afresh, as he exclaimed:
+
+"God bless you! I wish I could do something for you in return."
+
+"Don't mention it," said Boston Ben, "unless--you--You _couldn't_ make
+up your mind to a match with English Sam, could you?"
+
+"Come, boys," interrupted Stumpy Flukes; "its my treat--name your
+medicine--fill high--all charged?--now then--bottom up, to 'The meanest
+man at Blugsey's'!"
+
+"That _did_ mean _you_, deacon!" exclaimed Tom; "but I claim it myself
+now, so--so I won't drink it."
+
+The remainder of the crowd clashed glasses, while Tom and his
+father-in-law bowed profoundly. Then the whole crowd went out to steal
+horses for the two men, and had them on the trail within an hour. As
+they rode off, Stumpy Flukes remarked:
+
+"There's a splendid shot ruined for life."
+
+"Yes," said Boston Ben, with a deep sigh struggling out of his manly
+bosom, "an' a bully rassler, too. The Church has got a good deal to
+answer fur, fur sp'ilin' that man's chances."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+DEACON BARKER'S CONVERSION.
+
+
+Of the several pillars of the Church at Pawkin Centre, Deacon Barker was
+by all odds the strongest. His orthodoxy was the admiration of the
+entire congregation, and the terror of all the ministers within easy
+driving distance of the Deacon's native village. He it was who had
+argued the late pastor of the Pawkin Centre Church into that state of
+disquietude which had carried him, through a few days of delirious
+fever, into the Church triumphant; and it was also Deacon Barker whose
+questions at the examination of seekers for the ex-pastor's shoes had
+cast such consternation into divinity-schools, far and near, that soon
+it was very hard to find a candidate for ministerial honors at Pawkin
+Centre.
+
+Nor was his faith made manifest by words alone. Be the weather what it
+might, the Deacon was always in his pew, both morning and evening, in
+time to join in the first hymn, and on every Thursday night, at a
+quarter past seven in winter, and a quarter before eight in summer, the
+good Deacon's cane and shoes could be heard coming solemnly down the
+aisle, bringing to the prayer-meeting the champion of orthodoxy. Nor did
+the holy air of the prayer-meeting even one single evening fail to
+vibrate to the voice of the Deacon, as he made, in scriptural language,
+humble confessions and tearful pleadings before the throne, or--still
+strictly scriptural in expression--he warned and exhorted the
+impenitent. The contribution-box always received his sixpence as long as
+specie payment lasted, and the smallest fractional currency note
+thereafter; and to each of the regular annual offerings to the
+missionary cause, the Bible cause, and kindred Christian enterprises,
+the Deacon regularly contributed his dollar and his prayers.
+
+The Deacon could quote scripture in a manner which put Biblical
+professors to the blush, and every principle of his creed so bristled
+with texts, confirmatory, sustentive and aggressive, that doubters were
+rebuked and free-thinkers were speedily reduced to speechless humility
+or rage. But the unregenerate, and even some who professed
+righteousness, declared that more fondly than to any other scriptural
+passage did the good Deacon cling to the injunction, "Make to yourselves
+friends of the mammon of unrighteousness." Meekly insisting that he was
+only a steward of the Lord, he put out his Lord's money that he might
+receive it again with usury, and so successful had he been that almost
+all mortgages held on property near Pawkin Centre were in the hands of
+the good Deacon, and few were the foreclosure sales in which he was not
+the seller.
+
+The new pastor at Pawkin Centre, like good pastors everywhere, had
+tortured himself into many a headache over the perplexing question, "How
+are we to reach the impenitent in our midst!" The said impenitent were,
+with but few exceptions, industrious, honest, respectable, law-abiding
+people, and the worthy pastor, as fully impregnated with Yankee-thrift
+as with piety, shuddered to think of the waste of souls that was
+constantly threatening. At length, like many another pastor, he called a
+meeting of the brethren, to prayerfully consider this momentous
+question. The Deacon came, of course, and so did all the other pillars,
+and many of them presented their views. Brother Grave thought the final
+doom of the impenitent should be more forcibly presented; Deacon Struggs
+had an abiding conviction that it was the Man of Sin holding dominion in
+their hearts that kept these people away from the means of grace; Deacon
+Ponder mildly suggested that the object might perhaps be attained if
+those within the fold maintained a more godly walk and conversation,
+but he was promptly though covertly rebuked by the good Deacon Barker,
+who reminded the brethren that "it is the _Spirit_ that quickeneth";
+Brother Flite, who hadn't any money, thought the Church ought to build a
+"working-man's chapel," but this idea was promptly and vigorously
+combated by all men of property in the congregation. By this time the
+usual closing hour had arrived, and after a benediction the faithful
+dispersed, each with about the ideas he brought to the meeting.
+
+Early next morning the good Deacon Barker, with his mind half full of
+the state of the unconverted, and half of his unfinished cow-shed, took
+his stick and hobbled about the village in search of a carpenter to
+finish the incomplete structure. There was Moggs, but Moggs had been
+busy all the season, and it would be just like him to want full price
+for a day's work. Stubb was idle, but Stubb was slow. Augur--Augur used
+liquor, and the Deacon had long ago firmly resolved that not a cent of
+_his_ money, if he could help it, should ever go for the accursed stuff.
+But there was Hay--he hadn't seen him at work for a long time--perhaps
+he would be anxious enough for work to do it cheaply.
+
+The Deacon knocked at Hay's door, and Hay himself shouted:
+
+"Come in."
+
+"How are ye, George," said the Deacon, looking hastily about the room,
+and delightfully determining, from the patient face of sad-eyed Mrs. Hay
+and the scanty furnishing of the yet uncleared breakfast-table, that he
+had been providentially guided to the right spot. "How's times with ye?"
+
+"Not very good, Deac'n," replied Hay. "Nothin' much doin' in town."
+
+"Money's awful sceerce," groaned the Deacon.
+
+"Dreadful," responded George, devoutly thanking the Lord that he owed
+the Deacon nothing.
+
+"Got much to do this winter?" asked the Deacon.
+
+"Not by a d--day's job--not a single day," sorrowfully replied Hay.
+
+The Deacon's pious ear had been shocked by the young man's imperfectly
+concealed profanity, and for an instant he thought of administering a
+rebuke, but the charms of prospective cheap labor lured the good man
+from the path of rectitude.
+
+"I'm fixin' my cow-shed--might p'raps give ye a job on't. 'Spose ye'd do
+it cheap, seein' how dull ev'ry thin' is?"
+
+The sad eyes of Mrs. Hay grew bright in an instant. Her husband's heart
+jumped up, but he knew to whom he was talking, so he said, as calmly as
+possible:
+
+"Three dollars is reg'lar pay."
+
+The Deacon immediately straightened up as if to go.
+
+"Too much," said he; "I'd better hire a common lab'rer at a dollar 'n a
+half, an' boss him myself. It's only a cow-shed, ye know."
+
+"Guess, though, ye won't want the nails druv no less p'ticler, will ye,
+Deac'n?" inquired Hay. "But I tell yer what I'll do--I'll throw off
+fifty cents a day."
+
+"Two dollars ort to be enough, George," resumed the Deacon.
+"Carpenterin's pooty work, an' takes a sight of headpiece sometimes, but
+there's no intellec' required to work on a cow-shed. Say two dollars,
+an' come along."
+
+The carpenter thought bitterly of what a little way the usual three
+dollars went, and of how much would have to be done with what he could
+get out of the cow-shed, but the idea of losing even that was too
+horrible to be endured, so he hastily replied:
+
+"Two an' a quarter, an' I'm your man."
+
+"Well," said the Deacon, "it's a powerful price to pay for work on a
+cow-shed, but I s'pose I mus' stan' it. Hurry up; thar's the
+mill-whistle blowin' seven."
+
+Hay snatched his tools, kissed a couple of thankful tears, out of his
+wife's eyes, and was soon busy on the cow-shed, with the Deacon looking
+on.
+
+"George," said the Deacon suddenly, causing the carpenter to stop his
+hammer in mid-air, "think it over agen, an' say two dollars."
+
+Hay gave the good Deacon a withering glance, and for a few moments the
+force of suppressed profanity caused his hammer to bang with unusual
+vigor, while the owner of the cow-shed rubbed his hands in ecstasy at
+the industry of his _employe_.
+
+The air was bracing, the Winter sun shone brilliantly, the Deacon's
+breakfast was digesting fairly, and his mind had not yet freed itself
+from the influences of the Sabbath. Besides, he had secured a good
+workman at a low price, and all these influences combined to put the
+Deacon in a pleasant frame of mind. He rambled through his mind for a
+text which would piously express his condition, and texts brought back
+Sunday, and Sunday reminded him of the meeting of the night before. And
+here was one of those very men before him--a good man in many respects,
+though he _was_ higher-priced than he should be. How was the cause of
+the Master to be prospered if His servants made no effort? Then there
+came to the Deacon's mind the passage, "--he which converteth the sinner
+from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a
+multitude of sins." What particular sins of his own needed hiding the
+Deacon did not find it convenient to remember just then, but he meekly
+admitted to himself and the Lord that he had them, in a general way.
+Then, with that directness and grace which were characteristic of him,
+the Deacon solemnly said:
+
+"George, what is to be the sinner's doom?"
+
+"I dunno," replied George, his wrath still warm; "'pears to me you've
+left that bizness till pretty late in life, Deac'n!"
+
+"Don't trifle with sacrid subjec's, George," said the Deacon, still very
+solemn, and with a suspicion of annoyance in his voice. "The wicked
+shall be cast into hell, with--"
+
+"They can't kerry their cow-sheds with 'em, neither," interrupted
+George, consolingly.
+
+"Come, George," said the good Deacon, in an appealing tone, "remember
+the apostle says, 'Suffer the word of exhortation.'"
+
+"'Xcuse me, Deac'n, but one sufferin' at a time; I ain't through
+sufferin' at bein' beaten down yet. How about deac'ns not being 'given
+to filthy lucre?'"
+
+The good Deacon was pained, and he was almost out of patience with the
+apostle for writing things which came so handy to the lips of the
+unregenerate. He commenced an industrious search for a text which should
+completely annihilate the impious carpenter, when that individual
+interrupted him with:
+
+"Out with it, Deac'n--ye had a meetin' las' night to see what was to be
+done with the impenitent. I was there--that is, I sot on a stool jest
+outside the door, an' I heerd all 'twas said. Ye didn't agree on
+nothin'--mebbe ye'v fixed it up sence. Any how, ye'v sot me down fur one
+of the impenitent, an' yer goin' fur me. Well--"
+
+"Go on nailin'," interrupted the economical Deacon, a little testily;
+"the noise don't disturb me; I can hear ye."
+
+"Well, what way am I so much wickeder 'n you be--you an' t'other folks
+at the meetin'-house?" asked Hay.
+
+"George, I never saw ye in God's house in my life," replied the Deacon.
+
+"Well, s'pose ye hevn't--is God so small He can't be nowheres 'xcept in
+your little meetin'-house? How about His seein' folks in their closets?"
+
+"George," said the Deacon, "ef yer a prayin' man, why don't ye jine
+yerself unto the Lord's people?"
+
+"Why? 'Cos the Lord's people, as you call 'em, don't want me. S'pose I
+was to come to the meetin'-house in these clothes--the only ones I've
+got--d'ye s'pose any of the Lord's people 'd open a pew-door to me? An'
+spose my wife an' children, dressed no better 'n I be, but as good 's I
+can afford, was with me, how d'ye s'pose I'd feel?"
+
+"Pride goeth before a fall, an' a haughty sperit before," groaned the
+Deacon, when the carpenter again interrupted.
+
+"I'd feel as ef the people of God was a gang of insultin' hypocrites,
+an' ez ef I didn't ever want to see 'em again. Ef that kind o' pride's
+sinful, the devil's a saint. Ef there's any thin' wrong about a man's
+feelin' so about himself and them God give him, God's to blame for it
+himself; but seein' it's the same feelin' that makes folks keep
+'emselves strait in all other matters, I'll keep on thinkin' it's
+right."
+
+"But the preveleges of the Gospel, George," remonstrated the Deacon.
+
+"Don't you s'pose I know what they're wuth?" continued the carpenter.
+"Haven't I hung around in front of the meetin'-house Summer nights, when
+the winders was open, jest to listen to the singin' and what else I
+could hear? Hezn't my wife ben with me there many a time, and hevn't
+both of us prayed an' groaned an' cried in our hearts, not only 'cos we
+couldn't join in it all ourselves, but 'cos we couldn't send the
+children either, without their learnin' to hate religion 'fore they
+fairly know'd what 'twas? Haven't I sneaked in to the vestibule Winter
+nights, an' sot just where I did last night, an' heard what I'd 'a liked
+my wife and children to hear, an' prayed for the time to come when the
+self-app'inted elect shouldn't offend the little ones? An' after sittin'
+there last night, an' comin' home and tellin' my wife how folks was
+concerned about us, an' our rejoicin' together in the hope that some day
+our children could hev the chances we're shut out of now, who should
+come along this mornin' but one of those same holy people, and Jewed me
+down on pay that the Lord knows is hard enough to live on."
+
+The Deacon _had_ a heart, and he knew the nature of self-respect as well
+as men generally. His mind ran entirely outside of texts for a few
+minutes, and then, with a sigh for the probable expense, he remarked:
+
+"Reckon Flite's notion was right, after all--ther' ort to be a
+workin'-man's chapel."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+"Ort?" responded Hay; "who d'ye s'pose'd go to it? Nobody? Ye can
+rent us second-class houses, an' sell us second-hand clothin', and the
+cheapest cuts o' meat, but when it comes to cheap religion--nobody knows
+its value better 'n we do. We don't want to go into yer parlors on
+carpets and furniture we don't know how to use, an' we don't expect to
+be asked into society where our talk an' manners might make some better
+eddicated people laugh. But when it comes to religion--God knows nobody
+needs an' deserves the very best article more 'n _we_ do."
+
+The Deacon was a reasonable man, and being old, was beginning to try to
+look fairly at matters upon which he expected soon to be very thoroughly
+examined. The indignant protest of the carpenter had, he feared, a great
+deal of reason, and yet--God's people deserved to hold their position,
+if, as usual, the argument ended where it began. So he asked, rather
+triumphantly:
+
+"What _is_ to be done, then?"
+
+"Reform God's people themselves," replied the carpenter, to the horror
+of the pious old man. "When the right hand of fellowship is reached out
+to the front, instead of stuck behind the back when a poor man comes
+along, there'll be plenty that'll be glad to take it. Reform yer own
+people, Deac'n. 'Fore yer pick out of our eyes the motes we'll be glad
+enough to get rid of, ye can get a fine lot of heavy lumber out of yer
+own."
+
+Soldiers of the Cross, no more than any other soldiers, should stand
+still and be peppered when unable to reply; at least so thought the
+Deacon, and he prudently withdrew.
+
+Reform God's people themselves! The Deacon was too old a boy to tell
+tales out of school, but he knew well enough there was room for reform.
+Of course there was--weren't we all poor sinners?--when we would do good
+wasn't evil ever present with us?--what business had other sinners to
+complain, when they weren't, at least, any better? Besides, suppose he
+were to try to reform the ways of Brother Graves and Deacon Struggs and
+others he had in his mind--would they rest until they had attempted to
+reform _him_? And who was to know just what quantity and quality of
+reform was necessary? "Be not carried about with divers and strange
+doctrines." The matter was too great for his comprehension, so he obeyed
+the injunction, "Commit thy way unto the Lord."
+
+But the Lord relegated the entire matter to the Deacon. Hay did a full
+day's work, the Deacon made a neat little sum by recovering on an old
+judgment he had bought for a mere song, and the Deacon's red cow made an
+addition to the family in the calf-pen; yet the Deacon was far from
+comfortable. The idea that certain people must stay away from God's
+house until God's people were reformed, seemed to the Deacon's really
+human heart something terrible. If they _would_ be so proud--and yet,
+people who would stand outside the meeting-house and listen, and pray
+and weep because their children were as badly off as they, could
+scarcely be very proud. He knew there couldn't be many such, else this
+out-of-door congregation would be noticed--there certainly wasn't a full
+congregation of modest mechanics in the vestibule of which Hay spoke,
+and yet, who could tell how many more were anxious and troubled on the
+subject of their eternal welfare.
+
+What a pity it was that those working-men who wished to repair to the
+sanctuary could not have steady work and full pay! If he had only known
+all this early in the morning, he did not know but he might have hired
+him at three dollars; though, really, was a man to blame for doing his
+best in the labor market? "Ye cannot serve God and mammon." Gracious! he
+could almost declare he heard the excited carpenter's voice delivering
+that text. What _had_ brought that text into his head just now?--he had
+never thought of it before.
+
+The Deacon rolled and tossed on his bed, and the subject of his
+conversation with the carpenter tormented him so he could not sleep. Of
+one thing he was certain, and that was that the reform of the Church at
+Pawkin Centre was not to be relied on in an extremity, and was not such
+hungering and thirsting after righteousness an extreme case?--had he
+ever really known many such! If Hay only had means, the problem would
+afford its own solution. The good Deacon solemnly declared to himself
+that if Hay could give good security, he (the Deacon) would try to lend
+him the money.
+
+But even this (to the Deacon) extraordinary concession was unproductive
+of sleep. "He that giveth to the poor lendeth to the Lord." There! he
+could hear that indignant carpenter again. What an unsatisfactory
+passage that was, to be sure! If it would only read the other way--it
+didn't seem a bit business-like the way it stood. And yet, as the Deacon
+questioned himself there in the dark, he was forced to admit that he had
+a very small balance--even of loans--to his credit in the hands of the
+Lord. He had never lent to the Lord except in his usual business
+manner--as small a loan as would be accepted, on as extensive
+collaterals as he could exact. Oh, why did people ever forsake the
+simple raiment of their forefathers, and robe themselves in garments
+grievous in price, and stumbling-blocks in the path of their fellow-men?
+
+But sleep failed even to follow this pious reflection. Suppose--only
+suppose, of course--that he were to give--lend, that is--lend Hay money
+enough to dress his family fit for church--think what a terrible lot of
+money it would take! A common neat suit for a man would cost at least
+thirty dollars, an overcoat nearly twice as much; a suit cloak, and
+other necessities for his wife would amount to as much more, and the
+children--oh, the thing couldn't be done for less than two hundred and
+fifty dollars. Of course, it was entirely out of the question--he had
+only wondered what it _would_ cost--that was all.
+
+Still no sleep. He wished he hadn't spoken with Hay about his soul--next
+time he would mind his own business. He wished he hadn't employed Hay.
+He wished the meeting for consideration of the needs of the impenitent
+had never taken place. "No man can come to me except the Father which
+sent me draw him"--he wished he had remembered that passage, and quoted
+it at the meeting--it was no light matter to interfere with the
+Almighty's plans.
+
+"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy." Hah! _Could_
+that carpenter be in the room, disarranging his train of thought with
+such--such--tantalizing texts! They had kept him awake, and at his time
+of life a restless night was a serious matter. Suppose--
+
+Very early the next morning the village doctor, returning from a
+patient's bedside, met the Deacon with a face which suggested to him
+(the doctor was pious and imaginative) "Abraham on Mount Moriah." The
+village butcher, more practical, hailed the good man, and informed him
+he was in time for a fine steak, but the Deacon shook his head in agony,
+and passed on. He neared the carpenter's house, stopped, tottered, and
+looked over his shoulder as if intending to run; at length he made his
+way behind the house, where Hay was chopping firewood. The carpenter saw
+him and turned pale--he feared the Deacon had found cheaper labor, and
+had come to give him warning.
+
+"George," said the Deacon, "I've been doin' a heap of thinkin' 'bout
+what we talked of yesterday. I've come to say that if you like I'll lend
+you three hundred dollars fur as long as ye'v a mind to, without note,
+security or int'rest; you to spend as much of it ez ye need to dress you
+an' yer hull fam'ly in Sunday clothes, and to put the balance in the
+Savin's Bank, at interest, to go on doin' the same with when necessary.
+An' all of ye to go to church when ye feel so disposed. An' ef nobody
+else's pew-door opens, yer allus welcome to mine. And may the Lord" the
+Deacon finished the sentence to himself--"have mercy on my soul." Then
+he said, aloud:
+
+"That's all."
+
+The carpenter, at the beginning of the Deacon's speech, had dropped his
+axe, to the imminent danger of one of his feet. As the Deacon
+continued, the carpenter dropped his head to one side, raised one
+eye-brow inquiringly, and awaited the conditions. But when the Deacon
+said "That's all," George Hay seized the Deacon's hard old hand, gave it
+a grasp which brought agonized tears to the eyes of its venerable owner,
+and exclaimed:
+
+"Deacon, God's people are reformin'!"
+
+The Deacon staggered a little--he had not thought of it in that light
+before.
+
+"Deacon, that money'll do more good than all the prayin' ye ever done.
+'Xcuse me--I must tell Mary," and the carpenter dashed into the house.
+Had Mrs. Hay respected the dramatic proprieties, she would have made the
+Deacon a neat speech; but the truth is, she regarded him from behind the
+window-blind, and wiped her eyes with the corner of her apron; seeing
+which the Deacon abruptly started for home, making less use of his cane
+than he had done in any day for years.
+
+It is grievous to relate, but truth is mighty--that within a fortnight
+the good Deacon repented of his generous action at least fifty times. He
+would die in the poor-house if he were so extravagant again. Three
+hundred dollars was more than the cow-shed--lumber, shingles, nails,
+labor and all--would cost. Suppose Hay should take the money and go
+West? Suppose he should take to drinking, and spend it all for liquor!
+One suspicion after another tortured the poor man until he grew thin and
+nervous. But on the second Sunday, having satisfied himself that Hay was
+in town, sober, the day before, that he had been to the city and brought
+back bundles, and that he (the Deacon) had seldom been in the street
+without meeting one of Hay's children with a paper of hooks and eyes or
+a spool of thread, the Deacon stationed himself in one of his own front
+windows, and brought his spectacles to bear on Hay's door, a little
+distance off. The first bell had rung, apparently, hours before, yet no
+one appeared--could it be that he had basely sneaked to the city at
+night and pawned everything? No--the door opened--there they came. It
+couldn't be--yes, it was--well, he never imagined Hay and his wife were
+so fine a-looking couple. They came nearer, and the Deacon, forgetting
+his cane, hobbled hurriedly to church, entered his pew, and left the
+door wide open. He waited long, it seemed to him, but they did not come.
+He looked around impatiently, and there, O, joy and wonder!--the
+president of the Pawkin Savings' Institution had invited the whole
+family into his pew! Just then the congregation rose to sing the hymn
+commencing:
+
+  "From all that dwell below the skies
+  Let the Creator's praise arise";
+
+and the Deacon, in his excitement, distanced the choir, and the organ,
+and the congregation, and almost brought the entire musical service to a
+standstill.
+
+The Deacon had intended to watch closely for Hays' conversion, but
+something wonderful prevented--it was reported everywhere that the
+Deacon himself had been converted, and all who now saw the Deacon fully
+believed the report. He was even heard to say that as there seemed to be
+some doubt as to whether faith or works was the saving virtue, he
+intended thereafter to practice both. He no longer mentions the
+poor-house as his prospective dwelling, but is heard to say that in his
+Father's house there are many mansions, and that he is laying up his
+treasure in heaven as fast as possible, and hopes he may get it all on
+the way there before his heart is called for. At the post-office, the
+tin-shop and the rum-shop the Deacon's conversion is constantly
+discussed, and men of all degrees now express a belief in the mighty
+power of the Spirit from on high. Other moneyed men have been smitten
+and changed, and the pastor of the Pawkin Centre Church daily thanks the
+Lord for such a revival as he never heard of before.
+
+
+
+
+JOE GATTER'S LIFE INSURANCE.
+
+
+Good? He was the model boy of Bungfield. While his idle school-mates
+were flying kites and playing marbles, the prudent Joseph was trading
+Sunday-school tickets for strawberries and eggs, which he converted into
+currency of the republic. As he grew up, and his old school-mates
+purchased cravats and hair-oil at Squire Tackey's store, it was the
+industrious Joseph who stood behind the counter, wrapped up their
+purchases, and took their money. When the same boys stood on the
+street-corners and cast sheep's eyes at the girls, the business-like
+Joseph stood in the store-door and contemplated these same boys with
+eyes such as a hungry cat casts upon a brood of young birds who he
+expects to eat when they grow older. Joe never wasted any time at
+parties; he never wore fine clothing; he never drank nor smoked; in
+short, Joe was so industrious that by the time he reached his majority
+he had a thousand dollars in the bank, and not a solitary virtue in his
+heart.
+
+For Joe's money good Squire Tackey had an earnest longing, and soon had
+it to his own credit; while the sign over the store-door read "Tackey &
+Gatter." Then the Squire wanted Joe's soul, too, and so earnest was he
+that Joe soon found it necessary to remonstrate with his partner.
+
+"'Twont do, Squire," said he; "religion's all very well in its place,
+but when a man loses the sale of a dozen eggs, profit seven cents,
+because his partner is talking religion with him so hard that a customer
+gets tired of waiting and goes somewhere else, then religion's out of
+place."
+
+"The human soul's of more cons'kence than many eggs, Joseph," argued
+the Squire.
+
+"That's just it," replied Joe; "money don't hit the value of the soul
+any way, and there's no use trying to mix 'em. And while we're talking,
+don't you think we might be mixing some of the settlings of the molasses
+barrel with the brown sugar?--'twill make it weigh better."
+
+The Squire sighed, but he could not help admitting that Joe was as good
+a partner as a man could want.
+
+In one of Joe's leisure moments it struck him that if he were to die,
+nobody would lose a cent by the operation. The idea was too
+exasperating, and soon the local agents of noted insurance companies
+ceased to enjoy that tranquility which is characteristic of business men
+in the country. Within a fortnight two of the agents were arraigned
+before their respective churches for profane brawling, while Joe had
+squeezed certain agents into dividing commissions to the lowest unit of
+divisibility, and had several policies in the safe at the store.
+
+The Squire, his partner, was agent for the Pantagonian Mutual, and
+endured his full share of the general agony Joe had caused. But when he
+had handed Joe a policy and receipt, and taken the money, and counted it
+twice, and seen to it carefully that all the bills were good, the good
+Squire took his revenge.
+
+"Joseph," said he, "you ain't through with insurance yet--you need to
+insure your soul against risk in the next world, and there's only one
+Agent that does it."
+
+The junior partner stretched himself on the counter and groaned. He knew
+the Squire was right--he had heard that same story from every minister
+he had ever heard. Joe was so agitated that he charged at twelve and a
+half cents some calico he had sold at fifteen.
+
+Only one Agent! But the shrewd Joseph rejoiced to think that those who
+represented the Great Agent differed greatly in the conditions of the
+insurance, and that some made more favorable terms than others, and that
+if he could get the ministers thoroughly interested in him, he would
+have a good opportunity for comparing rates. The good men all wanted
+Joe, for he was a rising young man, and could, if the Spirit moved him,
+make handsome subscriptions to good purposes. So, in their zeal, they
+soon regarded each other with jealous eyes, and reduced their respective
+creeds to gossamer thinness. They agreed about grace being free, and Joe
+accepted that much promptly, as he did _anything_ which could be had
+without price. But Joe was a practical man, and though he found fault
+with none of the doctrines talked at him, he yet hesitated to attach
+himself to any particular congregation. He finally ascertained that the
+Reverend Barzillai Driftwood's church had no debt, and that its
+contributions to missions and other religious purposes were very small,
+so Joe allowed himself to be gathered into the fine assortment of
+crooked sticks which the Reverend Barzillai Driftwood was reserving unto
+the day of burning.
+
+Great was the rejoicing of the congregation at Joe's saving act, and
+sincere was the sorrow of the other churches, who knew their own creeds
+were less shaky. But in the saloon and on the street Joe's religious act
+was discussed exclusively on its merits, and the results were such as
+only special spiritual labor would remove. For no special change was
+noticeable in Joe; on Sunday he abjured the world, but on Monday he made
+things uncomfortable for the Widow Macnilty, whose husband had died in
+the debt of Tackey & Gatter. A customer bought some gingham, on Joe's
+assurance that the colors were fast, but the first washday failed to
+confirm Joe's statement. The proprietor of the stage line between
+Bungfield and Cleopas Valley traded horses with Joe, and was afterward
+heard mentioning his new property in language far more scriptural than
+proper.
+
+Still, Joe was a church-member, and that was a patent of respectability.
+And as he gained years, and building lots, and horses, and commenced
+discounting notes, his respectability grew and waxed great in the minds
+of the practical people of Bungfield. Even good women, real mothers in
+Israel, could not help thinking, as they sorrowed over the sand in the
+bottoms of their coffee-cups, and grew wrathful at "runney" flour bought
+for "A 1 Superfine" of Tackey & Gatter, that Joe would make a valuable
+husband. So thought some of the ladies of Bungfield, and as young ladies
+who can endure the idea of such a man for perpetual partner can also
+signify their opinions, Joe began to comprehend that he was in active
+demand. He regarded the matter as he would a sudden demand for any
+commodity of trade, and by skillfully manipulating the market he was
+soon enabled to choose from a full supply.
+
+Thenceforward Joe was as happy as a man of his nature could be. All his
+investments were paying well: the store was prosperous, he was
+successful in all his trading enterprises, he had purchased, at fearful
+shaves, scores of perfectly good notes, he realized on loans interest
+which would cause a usury law to shrivel and crack, his insurance
+policies brought him fair dividends, and his wife kept house with
+economy and thrift. But the church--the church seemed an unmitigated
+drag. Joe attended all the church meetings--determined to get the worth
+of the money he was compelled to contribute to the current expenses--he
+had himself appointed treasurer, so he could get the use of the church
+money; but the interest, even at the rates Joe generally obtained, did
+not balance the amount of his contribution.
+
+Joe worried over the matter until he became very peevish, yet he came no
+nearer a business-like adjustment of receipts and expenditures. One day
+when his venerable partner presented him a certificate of dividend from
+the Pantagonian Mutual, Joe remarked:
+
+"Never got any dividends on that other insurance you put me up to
+taking, partner--that 'gainst fire risks in the next world, you know.
+'Twill be tough if there's any mistake--church does take a sight of
+money."
+
+"Joseph," said the Squire, in a sorrowful tone, "I've always been afeard
+they didn't look enough into your evidences when they took you into
+that church. How can a man expect to escape on the day of wrath if he's
+all the time grumbling at the cost of his salvation? Mistake? If you
+don't know in your heart the truth of what you profess, there's mighty
+little hope for you, church or no church."
+
+[Illustration: JOE AND HIS VENERABLE PARTNER TALKING OVER INSURANCE
+MATTERS.]
+
+"Know in my heart!" cried Joe. "That's a pretty kind of security. Is
+that what I've been paying church dues for? Better have known it in my
+heart in the first place, and saved the money. What's the use of
+believing all these knotty points, if they don't make a sure thing for a
+man?"
+
+"If your belief don't make you any better or happier, Joseph," rejoined
+the Squire, "you'd better look again and see if you've got a good hold
+of it; those that's got a clear title don't find their investment as
+slow in making returns, while those that find fault are generally the
+ones that's made a mistake."
+
+Poor Joe! He thought he had settled this whole matter; but now, if his
+partner was right, he was worse off than if he hadn't begun. He believed
+in justification by faith; now, wasn't his faith strong--first class, he
+might say? To be sure of being safe, hadn't he believed everything that
+_all_ the ministers had insisted upon as essential? And what _was_
+faith, if it wasn't believing? He would ask his partner; the old man had
+got him into this scrape--now he must see him through.
+
+"Squire," said he, "isn't faith the same thing as believing?"
+
+"Well," said the Squire, adjusting his glasses, and taking from the desk
+the little Testament upon which he administered oaths, "that depends on
+how you believe. Here's a verse on the subject: 'Thou believest in God;
+thou doest well; the devils also believe, and tremble.'"
+
+Ugh! Joe shivered. He wasn't an aristocrat, but would one fancy such
+companionship as the Squire referred to?
+
+"Here," said the Squire, turning the leaves, "is another passage bearin'
+on the subject. 'O, generation of vipers, who hath warned you to flee
+from the wrath to come? Bring forth, therefore, _fruits_ meet for
+repentance.'"
+
+Vipers! Joe uncomfortably wondered who else the Squire was going to
+introduce into the brotherhood of the faith.
+
+"Now, see what it says in another place," continued the Squire, "Not
+every one that saith unto Me Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of
+heaven, but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven."
+
+"Yes," said Joe, grateful for hearing of no more horrible believers,
+"but what _is_ his will but believing on him? Don't the Bible say that
+they that believe shall be saved?"
+
+"Joseph," said the Squire, "when you believed in my store, you put in
+your time and money there. When you believed in hoss-tradin' you devoted
+yourself to practicing it. When you believed life insurance was a good
+thing, you took out policies and paid for them, though you _have_
+complained of the Patagonian dividends. Now, if you do believe in God,
+what have you done to prove it?"
+
+"I've paid over a hundred dollars a year church dues," said Joe,
+wrathfully, "not counting subscriptions to a bell and a new organ."
+
+"That wasn't for God, Joseph," said the Squire; "'twas all for you. God
+never'll thank you for running an asylum for paupers fit to work. You'll
+find in the twenty-fifth chapter of Matthew a description of those
+that's going into the kingdom of heaven--they're the people that give
+food and clothing to the needy, and that visit the sick and prisoners,
+while those that don't do these things _don't_ go in, to put it mildly.
+He don't say a word about belief there, Joseph; for He knows that giving
+away property don't happen till a man's belief is pretty strong."
+
+Joe felt troubled. Could it really be that his eternal insurance was
+going to cost more money? Joe thought enviously of Colonel Bung,
+President of the Bungfield Railroad Co.--the Colonel didn't believe in
+anything; so he saved all his money, and Joe wished he had some of the
+Colonel's courage.
+
+Joe's meditations were interrupted by the entrance of Sam Ottrey, a poor
+fellow who owed Joe some money. Joe had lent Sam a hundred dollars,
+discounted ten per cent, for ninety days, and secured by a chattel
+mortgage on Sam's horse and wagon. But Sam had been sick during most of
+the ninety days, and when he went to Joe to beg a few days of grace,
+that exemplary business man insisted upon immediate payment.
+
+It was easy to see by Sam's hopeless eye and strained features that he
+had not come to pay--he was staring ruin in the face, and felt as
+uncomfortable as if the amount were millions instead of a horse and
+wagon, his only means of support. As for Joe, he had got that hundred
+dollars and horse and wagon mixed up in the oddest way with what he and
+his partner had been talking about. It was utterly unbusiness-like--he
+knew it--he tried to make business business, and religion religion, but,
+try as he might, he could not succeed. Joe thought briskly; he
+determined to try an experiment.
+
+"Sam," said he, "got the money?"
+
+"No," Sam replied; "luck's agin me--I've got to stand it, I suppose."
+
+"Sam," said Joe, "I'll give you all the time you need, at legal
+interest."
+
+Sam was not such a young man as sentimental people would select to try
+good deeds upon. But he was human, and loved his wife and children, and
+the sudden relief he felt caused him to look at Joe in a manner which
+made Joe find a couple of entire strangers in his own eyes. He hurried
+into the little office, and when his partner looked up inquiringly, Joe
+replied:
+
+"I've got a dividend, Squire--one of those we were talking about."
+
+"How's that?" asked the old man, while Joe commenced writing rapidly.
+
+"I'll show you," said Joe, handing the Squire the paper on which he has
+just put in writing his promise to Sam.
+
+"Joseph," said the Squire, after reading the paper several times, to
+assure himself that his eyes did not deceive him, "it beats the widow's
+mites; she gave the Lord all she had, but you've given Him more than you
+ever had in all your life until to-day."
+
+Joe handed Sam the paper, and it was to the teamster the strongest
+evidence of Christianity he had ever seen in Bungfield. He had known of
+some hard cases turning from the saloon and joining the church, but none
+of these things were so wonderful as this action of Joe Gatter's. Sam
+told the story, in strict confidence, to each of his friends, and the
+good seed was thus sown in soil that it had never reached before.
+
+It would be pleasant to relate that Joe forthwith ceased shaving notes
+and selling antiquated grease for butter, and that he devoted the rest
+of his days and money to good deeds, but it wouldn't be true. Those of
+our readers who have always consistently acted according to their own
+light and knowledge are, of course, entitled to throw stones at Joe
+Gatter; but most of us know to our sorrow why he didn't always act
+according to the good promptings he received. Our only remaining duty is
+to say that when, thereafter, Joe's dividends came seldom, he knew who
+to blame.
+
+
+
+
+THE TEMPERANCE MEETING AT BACKLEY.
+
+
+Loud and long rang the single church-bell at Backley, but its industry
+was entirely unnecessary, for the single church at Backley was already
+full from the altar to the doors, and the window-sills and altar-steps
+were crowded with children. The Backleyites had been before to the
+regular yearly temperance meetings, and knew too well the relative
+merits of sitting and standing to wait until called by the bell. Of
+course no one could afford to be absent, for entertainments were
+entirely infrequent at Backley; the populace was too small to support a
+course of lectures, and too moral to give any encouragement to circuses
+and minstrel troupes, but a temperance meeting was both moral and cheap,
+and the children might all be taken without extra cost.
+
+For months all the young men and maidens at Backley had been practising
+the choruses of the songs which the Temperance Glee Club at a
+neighboring town was to sing at the meeting. For weeks had large
+posters, printed in the reddest of ink, announced to the surrounding
+country that the parent society would send to Backley, for this especial
+occasion, one of its most brilliant orators, and although the pastor
+made the statement (in the smallest possible type) that at the close of
+the entertainment a collection would be taken to defray expenses of the
+lecturer, the sorrowing ones took comfort in the fact that certain
+fractional currency represented but a small amount of money. The bell
+ceased ringing, and the crowd at the door attempted to squeeze into the
+aisles; the Backley Cornet Quartette played a stirring air; Squire Breet
+called the meeting to order, and was himself elected permanent Chairman;
+the Reverend Mr. Genial prayed earnestly that intemperance might cease
+to reign; the Glee Club sang several songs, with rousing choruses; a
+pretended drunkard and a cold water advocate (both pupils of the Backley
+High School), delivered a dialogue in which the pretended drunkard was
+handled severely; a tableau of "The Drunkard's Home" was given; and then
+the parent society's brilliant orator took the platform.
+
+The orator was certainly very well informed, logical and convincing,
+besides being quite witty. He proved to the satisfaction of all present
+that alcohol was not nutritious; that it awakened a general and
+unhealthy physical excitement; and that it hardened the tissues of the
+brain. He proved by reports of analyses, that adulteration, and with
+harmful materials, was largely practiced. He quoted from reports of
+police, prison and almshouse authorities, to prove his statement that
+alcohol made most of our criminals. He unrolled a formidable array of
+statistics, and showed how many loaves of bread could be bought with the
+money expended in the United States for intoxicating liquors; how many
+comfortable houses the same money would build; how many schools it would
+support; and how soon it would pay the National Debt.
+
+Then he drew a moving picture of the sorrow of the drunkard's family and
+the awfulness of the drunkard's death, and sat down amid a perfect
+thunder of applause.
+
+The faithful beamed upon each other with glowing and expressive
+countenances; the Cornet Quartette played "Don't you go, Tommy"; the
+smallest young lady sang "Father, dear father, come Home with me Now";
+and then Squire Breet, the Chairman, announced that the meeting was open
+for remarks.
+
+A derisive laugh from some of the half-grown boys, and a titter from
+some of the misses, attracted the attention of the audience, and
+looking round they saw Joe Digg standing up in a pew near the door.
+
+"Put him out!" "It's a shame!" "Disgraceful!" were some of the cries
+which were heard in the room.
+
+"Mr. Digg is a citizen of Backley," said the Chairman, rapping
+vigorously to call the audience to order, "and though not a member of
+the Association, he is entitled to a hearing."
+
+"Thank you, Mr. Chairman," said Joe Digg, when quiet was restored; "your
+words are the first respectful ones I've ever heard in Backley, an' I do
+assure you I appreciate 'em. But I want the audience to understand I
+ain't drunk--I haven't had a cent for two days, an' nobody's treated
+me."
+
+By this time the audience was very quiet, but in a delicious fever of
+excitement. A drunkard speaking right out in a temperance meeting!--they
+had never heard of such a thing in their lives. Verily, Backley was
+going to add one to the roll of modest villages made famous by unusual
+occurrences.
+
+"I 'spose, Mr. Chairman," continued Joe Digg, "that the pint of
+temp'rance meetin's is to stop drunkenness, an' as I'm about the only
+fully developed drunkard in town, I'm most likely to know what this
+meetin's 'mounted to."
+
+Squire Breet inclined his head slightly, as if to admit the correctness
+of Joe Digg's position.
+
+"I believe ev'ry word the gentleman has said," continued the drunkard,
+"and"--here he paused long enough to let an excitable member exclaim
+"Bless the Lord!" and burst into tears--"and he could have put it all a
+good deal stronger without stretchin' the truth. An' the sorrer of a
+drunkard's home can be talked about 'till the Dictionary runs dry, an'
+then ye don't know nothin' 'bout it. But hain't none of ye ever laughed
+'bout lockin' the stable door after the hoss is stolen? That's just what
+this temp'rance meetin' an' all the others comes to."
+
+A general and rather indignant murmur of dissent ran through the
+audience.
+
+"Ye don't believe it," continued Joe Digg, "but I've been a drunkard,
+an' I'm one yet, an' ye all got sense enough to understan' that I ort to
+know best about it."
+
+"Will the gentleman have the kindness to explain?" asked the lecturer.
+
+"I'm a comin' to it, sir, ef my head'll see me through," replied the
+drunkard. "You folks all b'leeve that its lovin' liquor that makes men
+drink it; now, 'taint no sech thing. I never had a chance to taste fancy
+drinks, but I know that every kind of liquor _I_ ever got hold of was
+more like medicine than anything nice."
+
+"Then what _do_ they drink for?" demanded the excitable member.
+
+"I'll tell you," said Joe, "if you'll have a little patience. I have to
+do it in my own way, for I ain't used to public speakin'. You all know
+who I am. My father was a church-member, an' so was mother. Father done
+day's work, fur a dollar'n a quarter a day. How much firewood an'
+clothes an' food d'ye suppose that money could pay for? We had to eat
+what come cheapest, an' when some of the women here wuz a sittin'
+comfortable o' nights, a knittin' an' sewin' an' readin', mother wuz
+hangin' aroun' the butchershop, tryin' to beat the butcher down on the
+scraps that wasn't good enough for you folks. Soon as we young 'uns was
+big enough to do anything we wuz put to work. I've worked for men in
+this room twelve an' fourteen hours a day. I don't blame 'em--they
+didn't mean nothin' out of the way--they worked just as long 'emselves,
+an' so did their boys. But they allers had somethin' inside to keep 'em
+up, an' I didn't. Does anybody wonder that when I harvested with some
+men that kep' liquor in the field, an' found how it helped me along,
+that I took it, an' thought 'twas a reg'lar God's-blessin'? An' when I
+foun' 'twas a-hurtin' me, how was I to go to work an' giv' it up, when
+it stood me instead of the eatables I didn't have, an' never had,
+neither?"
+
+"You should hev prayed," cried old Deacon Towser, springing to his feet;
+"prayed long an' earnest."
+
+[Illustration: THE TEMPERANCE MEETING.]
+
+"Deacon," said Joe Digg, "I've heerd of your dyspepsy for nigh on to
+twenty year; did prayin' ever comfort _your_ stomach?"
+
+The whole audience indulged in a profane laugh, and the good deacon was
+suddenly hauled down by his wife. The drunkard continued:
+
+"There's lots of jest sech folks, here in Backley, an' ev'ry where's
+else--people that don't get half fed, an' do get worked half to death.
+Nobody _means_ to 'buse 'em, but they do hev a hard time of it, an'
+whisky's the best friend they've got."
+
+"I work my men from sunrise to sunset in summer, myself," said Deacon
+Towser, jumping up again, "an' I'm the first man in the field, an' the
+last man to quit. But I don't drink no liquor, an' my boys don't,
+neither."
+
+"But ye don't start in the mornin' with hungry little faces a hauntin'
+ye--ye don't take the dry crusts to the field for yer own dinner, an'
+leave the meat an' butter at home for the wife an' young 'uns. An' ye go
+home without bein' afeard to see a half-fed wife draggin' herself aroun'
+among a lot of puny young 'uns that don't know what's the matter with
+'em. Jesus Christ hissef broke down when it come to the cross, deac'n,
+an' poor human bein's sometimes reaches a pint where they can't stan' no
+more, an' when its wife an' children that brings it on, it gits a man
+awful."
+
+"The gentleman is right, I have no doubt," said the Chairman, "so far as
+a limited class is concerned, but of course no such line of argument
+applies to the majority of cases. There are plenty of well-fed, healthy,
+and lazy young men hanging about the tavern in this very village."
+
+"I know it," said Joe Digg, "an' I want to talk about them too. I don't
+wan't to take up all the time of this meetin', but you'll all 'low I
+know more 'bout that tavern than any body else does. Ther' is lots of
+young men a hanging aroun' it, an' why--'cos it's made pleasant for 'em,
+an' it's the only place in town that is. I've been a faithful attendant
+at that tavern for nigh onto twenty year, an' I never knowed a hanger-on
+there that had a comfortable home of his own. Some of them that don't
+hev to go to bed hungry hev scoldin' or squabblin' parents, an' they
+can't go a visitin' an' hear fine music, an' see nice things of every
+sort to take their minds off, as some young men in this meetin' house
+can. But the tavern is allus comfortable, an' ther's generally somebody
+to sing a song and tell a joke, an' they commence goin' ther' more fur a
+pleasant time than for a drink, at fust. Ther's lots of likely boys
+goin' there that I wish to God 'd stay away, an' I've often felt like
+tellin' 'em so, but what's the use? Where are they to go to?"
+
+"They ort to flee from even the appearance of evil," said Deacon Towser.
+
+"But where be they to flee _to_, Deac'n?" persisted Joe Digg; "would you
+like 'em to come a visitin' to your house?"
+
+"They can come to the church meetings," replied the Deacon; "there's two
+in the week, besides Sundays, an' some of 'em's precious seasons--_all_
+of 'em's an improvement on the wicked tavern."
+
+"'Ligion don't taste no better'n whiskey, tell you get used to it," said
+the drunkard, horrifying all the orthodox people at Backley, "an' taint
+made half so invitin'. 'Taint long ago I heerd ye tellin' another deacon
+that the church-members ort to be 'shamed of 'emselves, 'cos sca'cely
+any of 'em come to the week-evenin' meetin's, so ye can't blame the boys
+at the tavern."
+
+"Does the gentleman mean to convey the idea that all drunkards become so
+from justifying causes?" asked the lecturer.
+
+"No, sir," replied Joe Digg, "but I do mean to say that after you leave
+out them that takes liquor to help 'em do a full day's work, an' them
+that commence drinkin' 'cos they re at the tavern, an' ain't got no
+where's else to go, you've made a mighty big hole in the crowd of
+drinkin'-men--bigger'n temperance meetins' ever begin to make yit"
+
+"But how are they to be 'left out'?" asked the lecturer.
+
+"By temp'rance folks doin' somethin' beside talkin'," replied the
+drunkard. "For twenty year I've been lectured and scolded, an' some good
+men's come to me with tears in their eyes, and put their arms 'roun' my
+neck, an' begged me to stop drinkin'. An' I've wanted to, an' tried to,
+but when all the encouragement a man gits is in words, an' no matter how
+he commenced drinkin', now ev'ry bone an' muscle in him is a beggin' fur
+drink ez soon as he leaves off, an' his mind's dull, an' he ain't fit
+fur much, an' needs takin' care of as p'tic'ler ez a mighty sick man,
+talk's jist as good ez wasted. Ther's been times when ef I'd been ahead
+on flour an' meat an' sich, I could a' stopped drinkin', but when a
+man's hungry, an' ragged, an' weak, and half-crazy, knowin' how his
+family's fixed an he can't do nothin' fur 'em, an' then don't get
+nothin' but words to reform on, he'll go back to the tavern ev'ry time,
+an' he'll drink till he's comfortable an' till he forgits. I want the
+people here, one an' all, to understand that though I'm past helpin'
+now, ther's been fifty times in the last twenty year when I might hed
+been stopped short, ef any body'd been sensible enough and good-hearted
+enough to give me a lift."
+
+Joe Digg sat down, and there was a long pause. The Chairman whispered to
+the leader of the Glee Club, and the club sang a song, but somehow it
+failed to awaken the usual enthusiasm. After the singing had ended, the
+Chairman himself took the floor and moved the appointment of a permanent
+committee to look after the intemperate, and to collect funds when the
+use of money seemed necessary, and the village doctor created a
+sensation by moving that Mr. Joe Digg should be a member of the
+committee. Deacon Towser, who was the richest man in the village, and
+who dreaded subscription papers, started an insidious opposition by
+eloquently vaunting the value of earnest prayer and of determined will,
+in such cases, but the new member of the committee (though manifestly
+out of order) outmanoeuvred the Deacon by accepting both amendments,
+and remarking that in a hard fight folks would take all the help they
+could get.
+
+Somehow, as soon as the new committee--determining to open a place of
+entertainment in opposition to the tavern, and furnish it pleasantly,
+and make it an attractive gathering-place for young men--asked for
+contributions to enable them to do it, the temperance excitement at
+Backley abated marvelously. But Squire Breet, and the doctor, and
+several other enterprising men, took the entire burden on their own
+shoulders--or pockets--and Joe Digg was as useful as a reformed thief to
+a police department. For the doctor, whose professional education had
+left him a large portion of his natural common-sense in working order,
+took a practical interest in the old drunkard's case, and others of the
+committee looked to the necessities of his family, and it came to pass
+that Joe was one of the earliest of the reformers. Men still go to the
+tavern at Backley, but as, even when the twelve spake with inspired
+tongues, some people remained impenitent, the temperance men at Backley
+feel that they have great cause for encouragement, and that they have,
+at least, accomplished more within a few months than did all the
+temperance meetings ever held in their village.
+
+
+
+
+JUDE.
+
+
+Gopher Hill had determined that it could not endure Jude any longer.
+
+The inhabitants of Gopher Hill possessed an unusual amount of kindness
+and long-suffering, as was proved by the fact that Chinamen were allowed
+to work all abandoned claims at the Hill. Had further proof been
+necessary, it would have been afforded by the existence of a church
+directly beside the saloon, although the frequenters of the sacred
+edifice had often, during week-evening meetings, annoyed convivial souls
+in the saloon by requesting them to be less noisy.
+
+But Jude was too much for Gopher Hill. No one molested him when he first
+appeared, but each citizen entered a mental protest within his own
+individual consciousness; for Jude had a bad reputation in most of the
+settlements along Spanish Creek.
+
+It was not that he had killed his man, and stolen several horses and
+mules, and got himself into a state of most disorderly inebriation, for,
+in the opinion of many Gopher Hillites, these actions _might_ have been
+the visible results of certain virtuous conditions of mind.
+
+But Jude had, after killing a man, spent the victim's money; he had
+stolen from men who had befriended him; he had jumped claims; he had
+denied his score at the storekeeper's; he had lied on all possible
+occasions; and had gambled away money which had been confided to him in
+trust.
+
+One mining camp after another had become too hot for him; but he never
+adopted a new set of principles when he staked a new claim, so his stay
+in new localities was never of sufficient length to establish the fact
+of legal residence. His name seemed to be a respectable cognomen of
+Scriptural extraction, but it was really a contraction of a name which,
+while equally Scriptural and far more famous, was decidedly
+unpopular--the name of Judas Iscariot.
+
+The whole name had been originally bestowed upon Jude, in recognition of
+his success in swindling a mining partner; but, with an acuteness of
+perception worthy of emulation, the miners determined that the length of
+the appellation detracted from its force, so they shortened it to Jude.
+
+As a few of the more enterprising citizens of Gopher Hill were one
+morning discussing the desirableness of getting rid of Jude, and
+wondering how best to effect such a result, they received important
+foreign aid.
+
+A man rode up to the saloon, dismounted, and tacked on the wall a poster
+offering one thousand dollars reward for the apprehension of a certain
+person who had committed an atrocious murder a month before at Duck Run.
+
+The names and _aliases_ of the guilty person were unfamiliar to those
+who gathered about the poster, but the description of the murderer's
+appearance was so suggestive, that Squire Bogern, one of the bystanders,
+found Jude, and requested him to read the poster.
+
+"Well, 'twasn't _me_ done it," sulkily growled the namesake of the
+apostolic treasurer.
+
+"Ther' hain't nobody in Gopher that 'ud take a feller up fur a reward,"
+replied the squire, studiously oblivious of Jude's denial; "but it's a
+nice mornin' fur a walk. Ye can't miss the trail an' git lost, ye know.
+An', seein' yer hevn't staked any claim, an' so hain't got any to
+dispose of, mebbe yer could git, inside of five minutes."
+
+Jude was accustomed to "notices to quit," and was able to extract their
+import from any verbiage whatever, so he drank by and to himself, and
+immediately sauntered out of town, with an air of bravado in his
+carriage, and a very lonesome look in his face.
+
+Down the trail he tramped, past claims whose occupants knew him well
+enough, but who, just as he passed, found some excuse for looking the
+other way.
+
+He passed through one camp after another, and discovered (for he stopped
+at each saloon) that the man on horseback had preceded him, and that
+there seemed a wonderful unanimity of opinion as to the identity of the
+man who was wanted.
+
+Finally, after passing through several of the small camps, which were
+dotted along the trail, a mile or two apart, Jude flung himself on the
+ground under a clump of azaleas, with the air of a man whose temper had
+been somewhat ruffled.
+
+"I wonder," he remarked, after a discursive, fitful, but very spicy
+preface of ten minutes' duration, "why they couldn't find somethin' I
+_hed_ done, instead of tuckin' some other feller's job on me? I _hev_
+had difficulties, but this here one's just one more than _I_ knows on.
+Like 'nuff some galoot'll be mean 'nuff to try to git that thousand. I'd
+try it myself, ef I wuz only somebody else. Wonder why I can't be
+decent, like other fellers. 'Twon't pay to waste time thinkin' 'bout
+that, though, fur I'll hev to make a livin' somehow."
+
+Jude indulged in a long sigh, perhaps a penitential one, and drew from
+his pocket a well-filled flask, which he had purchased at the last
+saloon he had passed.
+
+As he extracted it, there came also from his pocket a copy of the
+poster, which he had abstracted from a tree _en route_.
+
+"Thar 'tis again!" he exclaimed, angrily. "Can't be satisfied showin'
+itself ev'rywhar, but must come out of my pocket without bein' axed.
+Let's see, p'r'aps it don't mean me, after all--'One eye gone, broken
+nose, scar on right cheek, powder-marks on left, stumpy beard, sallow
+complexion, hangdog look.' _I'd_ give a thousand ef I had it to git the
+feller that writ that; an' yit it means me, an' no dodgin'. Lord, Lord!
+what 'ud the old woman say ef she wuz to see me nowadays?"
+
+He looked intently at the flask for a moment or two, as if expecting an
+answer therefrom, then he extracted the cork, and took a generous drink.
+But even the liquor failed to help him to a more cheerful view of the
+situation, for he continued:
+
+"Nobody knows me--nobody sez, 'Hello!'--nobody axes me to name my
+bitters--nobody even cusses me. They let me stake a claim, but nobody
+offers to lend me a pick or a shovel, an' nobody ever comes to the
+shanty to spend the evenin', 'less it's a greenhorn. Curse 'em all! I'll
+make some of 'em bleed fur it. I'll git their dust, an' go back East;
+ther's plenty of folks _thar_ that'll be glad to see me, ef I've got the
+dust. An' mebbe 'twould comfort the old woman some, after all the
+trouble I've made her. Offer rewards fur me, do they? I'll give 'em some
+reason to do it. I hain't afeard of the hull State of Californy,
+an'--Good Lord! what's that?"
+
+The gentleman who was not afraid of the whole State of California sprang
+hastily to his feet, turned very pale, and felt for his revolver, for he
+heard rapid footsteps approaching by a little path in the bushes.
+
+But though the footsteps seemed to come nearer, and very rapidly, he
+slowly took his hand from his pistol, and changed his scared look for a
+puzzled one.
+
+"Cryin'! Reckon I ain't in danger from anybody that's bellerin'; but
+it's the fust time I've heerd that kind of a noise in _these_ parts.
+Must be a woman. Sounds like what I used to hear to home when I got on a
+tear; _'tis_ a woman!"
+
+As he concluded, there emerged from the path a woman, who was neither
+very young nor very pretty, but her face was full of pain, and her eyes
+full of tears, which signs of sorrow were augmented by a considerable
+scare, as she suddenly found herself face to face with the unhandsome
+Jude.
+
+"Don't be afeard of me, marm," said Jude, as the woman retreated a step
+or two. "I'm durned sorry for yer, whatever's the matter. I've got a
+wife to home, an' it makes me so sorry to hear her cry, that I get blind
+drunk ez quick ez I ken."
+
+This tender statement seemed to reassure the woman, for she looked
+inquiringly at Jude, and asked:
+
+"Have ye seen a man and woman go 'long with a young one?
+
+"Nary," replied Jude. "Young one lost?"
+
+"Yes!" exclaimed the woman, commencing to cry again; "an' a husban',
+too. I don't care much for _him_, for he's a brute, but Johnny--blessed
+little Johnny--oh, oh!"
+
+And the poor woman sobbed pitifully.
+
+Jude looked uneasy, and remembering his antidote for domestic tears,
+extracted the bottle again. He slowly put it back untasted, however, and
+exclaimed:
+
+"What does he look like, marm?--the husband I mean. I never wanted an
+excuse to put a hole through a feller ez bad ez I do this mornin'!"
+
+"Don't--don't hurt him, for God's sake!" cried the woman. "He ain't a
+good husband--he's run off with another woman, but--but he's Johnny's
+father. Yet, if you could get Johnny back--he's the only comfort I ever
+had in the world, the dear little fellow--oh, dear me!"
+
+And again she sobbed as if her heart was broken.
+
+"Tell us 'bout 'em. Whar hev they gone to? what do they luk like? Mebbe
+I ken git him fur yer," said Jude, looking as if inclined to beat a
+retreat, or do anything to get away from the sound of the woman's
+crying.
+
+[Illustration: "GET HIM--GET JOHNNY!" CRIED THE WOMAN, FALLING ON HER
+KNEES, AND SEIZING JUDE'S HAND.]
+
+"Get him--get Johnny?" cried the woman, falling on her knees, and
+seizing Jude's hand. "I can't give you anything for doin' it, but I'll
+pray for you, as long as I've got breath, that God may reward you!"
+
+"I reckon," said Jude, as he awkwardly disengaged his hand, "that
+prayin' is what'll do me more good than anythin' else jest now. Big
+feller is yer husband? An' got any idee whar he is?"
+
+"He _is_ a big man," replied the woman, "and he goes by the name of
+Marksey in these parts; and you'll find him at the Widow Beckel's,
+across the creek. Kill _her_ if you like--I hope _somebody_ will. But
+Johnny--Johnny has got the loveliest brown eyes, and the sweetest mouth
+that was ever made, and--"
+
+"Reckon I'll judge fur myself," interrupted Jude, starting off toward
+the creek, and followed by the woman. "I know whar Wider Beckel's is,
+an'--an' I've done enough stealin', I guess, to be able to grab a little
+boy without gittin' ketched. Spanish Crick's purty deep along here, an'
+the current runs heavy, but--"
+
+The remainder of Jude's sentence was left unspoken, for just then he
+stepped into the creek, and the chill of the snow-fed stream caused him
+to hold his breath.
+
+"Remember you aint to hurt _him_!" screamed the woman; "nor her,
+neither--God forgive me. But bring Johnny--bring Johnny, and God be with
+you."
+
+The woman stood with clasped hands watching Jude until he reached the
+opposite bank, shook himself, and disappeared, and then she leaned
+against a tree and trembled and cried until she was startled by hearing
+some one say:
+
+"Beg pardon, madame, but have you seen any one pass?"
+
+The woman raised her head, and saw a respectable, severe looking man, in
+clothing rather neater than was common along Spanish Creek.
+
+"Only one," she replied, "and he's the best man livin'. He's gone to get
+Johnny--he won't be gone long."
+
+"Your husband, ma'am?"
+
+"'Oh, no, sir; I never saw him before."
+
+"One eye gone; broken nose; scar on right cheek; powder-marks on left--"
+
+"Yes, sir, that's the man," said the wondering woman.
+
+"Perhaps you may not have seen this?" said the man handing her one of
+the posters describing Jude.
+
+Then he uttered a shrill whistle.
+
+The woman read the paper through, and cried:
+
+"It's somebody else--it _must_ be--no murderer would be so kind to a
+poor, friendless woman. Oh, God, have I betrayed him? _Don't_ take him,
+sir--it must be somebody else. I wish I had money--I would pay you more
+than the reward, just to go away and let him alone."
+
+"Madame," replied the man, beckoning to two men who were approaching, "I
+could not accept it; nor will I accept the reward. It is the price of
+blood. But I am a minister of the gospel, ma'am, and in this godless
+generation it is my duty to see that the outraged dignity of the law is
+vindicated. My associates, I regret to say, are actuated by different
+motives."
+
+"You just bet high on that!" exclaimed one of the two men who had
+approached, a low-browed, bestial ruffian. "Half a' thousan' 's more'n I
+could pan out in a fortnight, no matter how good luck I had. Parson he
+is a fool, but _we_, hain't no right to grumble 'bout it, seein' we git
+his share--hey, Parleyvoo?"
+
+"You speak truly, Mike," replied his companion, a rather handsome
+looking Frenchman, of middle age. "And yet Jean Glorieaux likes not the
+labor. Were it not that he had lost his last ounce at monte, and had the
+fever for play still in his blood, not one sou would he earn in such
+ungentle a manner."
+
+"God's worst curses on all of you!" cried the woman, with an energy
+which inspired her plain face and form with a terrible dignity and
+power, "if you lay a hand on a man who is the only friend a poor woman
+has ever found in the world!"
+
+Glorieaux shuddered, and Mike receded a step or two: but the ex-minister
+maintained the most perfect composure, and exclaimed:
+
+"Poor fools! It is written, 'The curse, causeless, shall not fall.' And
+yet, madame, I assure you that I most tenderly sympathize with you in
+your misfortunes, whatever they may be."
+
+"Then let him alone!" cried the woman. "My only child has been stolen
+away from me--dear little Johnny--and the man offered to go get him. And
+you've made me betray him. Oh, God curse you all!"
+
+"Madame," replied the still imperturbable parson, "the crime of
+blood-guiltiness cannot be imputed to you, for you did not know what you
+were doing."
+
+The woman leaned against a tree, and waited until Glorieaux declared to
+the parson he would abandon the chase.
+
+"It is useless," said he, striking a dramatic attitude, and pointing to
+the woman, "for her tears have quenched the fiery fever in the blood of
+Glorieaux."
+
+"Then I'll git the hull thousand," growled Mike, "an' I'll need it, too,
+if I've got to stand this sort of thing much longer."
+
+A confused sound of voices on the other side of the creek attracted the
+attention of the men, and caused the woman to raise her head. A moment
+later Jude appeared, with a child in his arms, and plunged into the
+water.
+
+"Now we'll have him!" cried the parson; "and you, madame, will have your
+child. Be ready to chase him, men, if he attempts to run when he gets
+ashore."
+
+"Go back! go back!" screamed the woman. "They are after you, these men.
+Try to--"
+
+The law-abiding parson placed his hand over the woman's mouth, but found
+himself promptly flying backward through space, while Mike roared:
+
+"Touch a woman, will yer? No thousand dollars nor any other money, 'll
+hire me to travel with such a scoundrel. Catch him yerself, if yer want
+ter,"
+
+"But if you do," said Glorieaux, politely, as he drew his revolver, "it
+will be necessary for Glorieaux to slay the Lord's anointed."
+
+"Follered, by thunder!" said Mike.
+
+It was true. During the few seconds which had been consumed in
+conversation, Jude got well into the creek. He had not seemed to hear
+the woman's warning; but now a greater danger threatened him, for on the
+opposite bank of the creek there appeared a man, who commenced firing at
+Jude's head and the small portion of his shoulders that was visible.
+
+"The monster. Oh, the wretch!" screamed the woman. "He may hit Johnny,
+his only son! Oh, God have mercy on me, and save my child!"
+
+A shot immediately behind her followed the woman's prayer, and Glorieaux
+exclaimed, pointing to the opposite bank, where Marksey was staggering
+and falling:
+
+"Glorieaux gathered from your words that a divorce would be acceptable,
+madame. Behold, you have it!"
+
+"Pity nobody didn't think of it sooner," observed Mike, shading his eyes
+as he stared intently at Jude, "for there's a red streak in the water
+right behind him."
+
+The woman was already standing at the water's edge, with hands clasped
+in an agony of terror and anxiety. The three men hastened to join her.
+
+"Wish I could swim," said Mike, "for he's gettin' weak, an' needs help."
+
+The parson sprang into the water, and, in spite of the chill and the
+swift current, he was soon by Jude's side.
+
+"Take the young un," gasped Jude, "for I'm a goner."
+
+"Put your hand on my shoulder," said the parson. "I can get you both
+ashore."
+
+'"Tain't no use," said Jude, feebly; "corpses don't count for much in
+Californy."
+
+"But your immortal part," remonstrated the parson, trying to seize Jude
+by the hand which held little Johnny.
+
+"God hev mercy on it!" whispered the dying man; "it's the fust time He
+ever had an excuse to do it."
+
+Strong man and expert swimmer as the ex-minister was, he was compelled
+to relinquish his hold of the wounded man; and Jude, after one or two
+fitful struggles against his fate, drifted lifeless down the stream and
+into eternity, while the widowed mother regained her child. The man of
+God, the chivalrous Frenchman and the brutish Mike slowly returned to
+their camp; but no one who met them could imagine, from their looks,
+that they were either of them anything better than fugitives from
+justice.
+
+
+
+
+A LOVE OF A COTTAGE.
+
+
+We had been married about six months, and were boarding in the most
+comfortable style imaginable, when one evening, after dinner, Sophronia
+announced that her heart was set upon keeping house. _My_ heart sank
+within me; but one of the lessons learned within my half year of married
+life is, that when Sophronia's heart is set upon anything, the protests
+I see fit to make must be uttered only within the secret recesses of my
+own consciousness. Then Sophronia remarked that she had made up her mind
+to keep house in the country, at which information my heart sank still
+lower. Not that I lack appreciation of natural surroundings. I delight
+in localities where beautiful scenery exists, and where tired men can
+rest under trees without even being suspected of inebriety. But when any
+of my friends go house-hunting in the city, in the two or three square
+miles which contain all the desirable houses, their search generally
+occupies a month, during which time the searchers grow thin, nervous,
+absent-minded, and uncompanionable. What, then, would be _my_ fate,
+after searching the several hundred square miles of territory which were
+within twenty miles of New York. But Sophronia had decided that it was
+to be--and I,
+
+  "Mine not to make reply;
+  Mine not to reason why;
+  Mine but to do or die."
+
+By a merciful dispensation of Providence, however, I was saved from the
+full measure of the fate I feared. Sophronia has a highly imaginative
+nature; in her a fancy naturally ethereal has been made super-sensitive
+by long companionship of tender-voiced poets and romancers. So when I
+bought a railway guide and read over the names of stations within a
+reasonable distance of New York, Sophronia's interest was excited in
+exact proportion to the attractiveness of the names themselves.
+Communipaw she pronounced execrable. Ewenville reminded her of a
+dreadful psalm tune. Paterson recalled the vulgar question, "Who struck
+Billy Patterson?" Yonkers sounded Dutch. Morristown had a plebeian air.
+Rutherford Park--well, that sounded endurable; it reminded her of the
+scene in Mrs. Somebody's novel. Elizabeth was a dreadfully old-fashioned
+name. Villa Valley--
+
+"Stop!" exclaimed Sophronia, raising impressively the hand which bore
+her diamond engagement ring; "that is the place, Pierre. (I was
+christened Peter, but _Miss_ Sophronia never looked encouragingly upon
+me until a friend nicknamed me Pierre.) I have a presentiment that our
+home will be at Villa Valley. How melodious--how absolutely enchanting
+it sounds. There is always a lake or a brook in a valley, too, don't you
+know?"
+
+I did _not_ previously possess this exact knowledge of the peculiarity
+of valleys, but I have an accurate knowledge of what my duty is
+regarding any statement which Sophronia may make, so I promptly
+assented. By the rarest good fortune, I found in the morning paper an
+advertisement of a real estate agent who made a specialty of Villa
+Valley property. This agent, when visited by me early in the morning,
+abundantly confirmed Sophronia's intuition regarding brooks and lakes,
+by asserting that his charming town possessed both, beside many other
+attractions, which irresistibly drove us to Villa Valley the next day,
+with a letter to the agent's resident partner.
+
+It was a bright April morning when we started in the resident agent's
+carriage, to visit a number of houses, the rent of which did not exceed
+four hundred dollars.
+
+"Drive first to the Old Stone Cottage," said Sophronia; "the very name
+is enchanting."
+
+The house itself did not support Sophronia's impression. It stood very
+near the road, was a quarter of a mile from any tree or bush, had three
+large and three small rooms, only one of which could be reached without
+passing through two others, for the house had no hall. The woodwork
+would have apparently greeted paint as a life-long stranger; the doors,
+in size and clumsiness, reminded me of the gates of Gaza, as pictured in
+Sunday-school books. The agent said it had once been Washington's
+headquarters, and I saw no reason to doubt his word; though I timidly
+asked whether tradition asserted that the Father of his Country had not
+suffered a twinge of neuralgia while at Villa Valley.
+
+"A Perfect Snuggery" did not belie its name, but in size and ventilation
+forcibly suggested a chicken coop.
+
+"Charming Swiss Cottage" seemed to be a remodeled pig-stye, from which
+objectionable matter had not been removed. "The House in the Woods" was
+approachable only through water half-way up to the carriage body; so we
+regretfully abandoned pursuit of it.
+
+"Silver Lake!" exclaimed Sophronia, reading from the memoranda she had
+penciled from the agent's descriptive list. "_That_, I am sure, will
+suit us. Don't you remember, Pierre, my presentiment about a lake at
+Villa Valley?"
+
+I remembered, by a little stretch of my imagination. But, alas! for the
+uncertainty even of the presentiments of one of Nature's most
+impressible children. The "lake" was a pond, perhaps twenty feet in
+diameter; an antiquated boot, two or three abandoned milk cans, and a
+dead cat, reposed upon its placid beach; and from a sheltered nook upon
+its southerly side, an early-aroused frog appeared, inquiringly, and
+uttered a cry of surprise--or, perhaps, of warning.
+
+"Take me away?" exclaimed Sophronia, "It was a dream--a fateful dream."
+
+"New Cottage, with all modern improvements," seemed really to justify
+its title; but Sophronia declined to look farther than its outside.
+
+"I could never be happy in that house, Pierre," said she, with emphasis;
+"it looks to be entirely new."
+
+"'Tis, ma'am," declared the agent; "the last coat of paint hasn't been
+on a month."
+
+"So I divined," replied Sophronia. "And so it is simply a lifeless mass
+of boards and plaster--no loving heartthrobs ever consecrated its
+walls--no tender romances have been woven under its eaves--no wistful
+yearnings--no agonies of parting have made its chambers instinct with
+life--no--"
+
+"I declare!" exclaimed the agent; "excuse me for interrupting, ma'am,
+but I believe I've got the very house you're looking for. How would you
+like a rambling, old family homestead, a hundred years old, with quaint,
+wide fireplaces, high mantels, overhanging eaves, a heavy screen of
+evergreens, vines clambering over everything, a great wide hall--"
+
+"Exquisite--charming--enchanting--paradisaical--divine!" murmured
+Sophronia.
+
+"And the rent is only three hundred dollars," continued the agent.
+
+This latter bit of information aroused _my_ strongest sentiment, and I
+begged the agent to show us the house at once.
+
+The approach was certainly delightful. We dashed into the gloom of a
+mass of spruces, pines, and arbor-vitæs, and stopped suddenly in front
+of a little, low cottage, which consisted principally of additions, no
+one of which was after any particular architectural order. Sophronia
+gazed an instant; her face assumed an ecstatic expression which I had
+not seen since the day of our engagement; she threw her arms about my
+neck, her head drooped upon my bosom, and she whispered:
+
+"My ideal!"
+
+Then this matchless woman, intuitively realizing that the moment for
+action had arrived, reassumed her natural dignity, and, with the air of
+Mrs. Scott Siddons in "Elizabeth," exclaimed:
+
+"Enough! We take it!"
+
+"Hadn't you better examine the interior first, my love?" I suggested.
+
+"Were the interior only that of a barn," remarked my consistent mate,
+"my decision would not be affected thereby. The eternal unities are
+never disunited, nor are--"
+
+"I don't believe I've got the key with me," said the agent; "but perhaps
+we can get in through one of the windows."
+
+The agent tied his horse and disappeared behind the house. Again
+Sophronia's arm encircled me, and she murmured:
+
+"Oh, Pierre, what bliss!"
+
+"It's a good way from the station, pet," I ventured to remark.
+
+Sophronia's enthusiasm gave place to scorn; she withdrew her
+affectionate demonstration, and replied:
+
+"Spoken like a real man! The practical, always--the ideal, never! Once I
+dreamed of the companionship of a congenial spirit, but, alas! 'A good
+way from the station!' Were _I_ a man, I would, to reside in such a
+bower, plod cheerily over miles of prosaic clods."
+
+"And you'd get your shapely boots most shockingly muddy," I thought, as
+the agent opened one of the front windows and invited us to enter.
+
+"French windows, too!" exclaimed Sophronia; "oh Pierre! And see that
+exquisite old mantel; it looks as if it had been carved from ebony upon
+the banks of one of the Queen of the Adriatic's noiseless by-ways. And
+these tiny rooms, how cozy--how like fairy land! Again I declare, we
+will take it! Let us return at once to the city--how I loathe the
+thought of treading its noisy thoroughfares again!--and order our
+carpets and furniture."
+
+"Are you sure you won't be lonesome here, darling?" I asked. "It is
+quite a distance from any neighbors."
+
+"A true woman is never lonesome when she can commune with Nature,"
+replied Sophronia. "Besides," she continued, in a less exalted strain,
+"I shall have Laura Stanley and Stella Sykes with me most of the time."
+
+The agent drove us back to his office, spending not more than ten
+minutes on the road; yet the time sufficed Sophronia to give me in
+detail her idea of the combination of carpets, shades, furniture,
+pictures, etc., which would be in harmony with our coming domicile.
+Suddenly nature reasserted her claims, and Sophronia addressed the
+agent.
+
+"Your partner told my husband that there were a lake and two brooks at
+Villa Valley. I should like to see them."
+
+"Certainly, ma'am," replied the agent, promptly; "I'll drive you past
+them as you go to the train."
+
+Ten minutes later the lease was made out and signed. I was moved to
+interrupt the agent with occasional questions, such as, "Isn't the house
+damp?" "Any mosquitoes?" "Is the water good and plentiful?" "Does the
+cellar extend under the whole house?" But the coldly practical nature of
+these queries affected Sophronia's spirits so unpleasantly, that, out of
+pure affection, I forebore. Then the agent invited us into his carriage
+again, and said he would drive us to the lower depot.
+
+"Two stations?" I inquired.
+
+"Yes," said he; "and one's as near to your house as the other."
+
+"_Your_ house," whispered Sophronia, turning her soulful eyes full upon
+me, and inserting her delicate elbow with unnecessary force between my
+not heavily covered ribs--"_your_ house! Oh, Pierre! does not the
+dignity of having a house appear to you like a beautiful vision?"
+
+"I strove for an instant to frame a reply in keeping with Sophronia's
+mental condition, when an unpleasant odor saluted my nose. That
+Sophronia was conscious of the same disgusting atmospheric feature, I
+learned by the sound of a decided sniff. Looking about us, I saw a large
+paper mill beside a stream, whose contents looked sewer-like.
+
+"Smell the paper-mash boiling?" asked the agent. "Peculiar, isn't it?
+Very healthy, though, they say."
+
+On the opposite side of the road trickled a small gutter, full of a
+reddish-brown liquid, its source seeming to be a dye-house behind us.
+Just then we drove upon a bridge, which crossed a vile pool, upon the
+shore of which was a rolling-mill.
+
+"Here's the lake," said the agent; "Dellwild Lake, they call it. And
+here's the brooks emptying into it, one on each side of the road."
+
+Sophronia gasped and looked solemn. Her thoughtfulness lasted but a
+moment, however; then she applied her daintily perfumed handkerchief to
+her nose and whispered: "Dellwild! Charbig dabe, Pierre, dod't you thig
+so?"
+
+During the fortnight which followed, Sophronia and I visited
+house-furnishing stores, carpet dealers, furniture warehouses, picture
+stores, and _bric-a-brac_ shops. The agent was very kind; he sent a boy
+to the house with the keys every time the express wished to deliver any
+of our goods. Finally, the carpet dealer having reported the carpets
+laid, Sophronia, I, and our newly engaged servant, started by rail to
+Villa Valley, three double-truck loads of furniture preceding us by way
+of the turnpike. I had thoughtfully ordered quite a quantity of
+provisions put into the house, in advance of our arrival. Hiring a
+carriage at the station, and obtaining the keys of the agent, we drove
+to our residence. Sophronia, to use her own expression, 'felt as she
+imagined Juno did, when first installed as mistress of the rosy summit
+of the divine mount; while I, though scarcely in a mood to compare
+myself with Jove, was conscious of a new and delightful sense of
+manliness. The shades and curtains were in the windows, the sun shone
+warmly upon them, and a bright welcome seemed to extend itself from the
+whole face of the cottage. I unlocked the door and tenderly kissed my
+darling under the lintel; then we stepped into the parlor. Sophronia
+immediately exclaimed:
+
+"Gracious!"
+
+The word that escaped _my_ lips, I shrink from placing upon the printed
+page. A barrel of flour, one of sugar, another of corned beef, and a
+half-barrel of molasses, a box of candles, a can of kerosene oil, some
+cases of canned fruits, a box of laundry soap, three wash-tubs, and a
+firkin of butter--all these, and many other packages, covered the parlor
+floor, and sent up a smell suggestive of an unventilated grocery. The
+flour had sifted between the staves of the barrel, the molasses had
+dripped somewhat, the box of soap had broken open and a single bar had
+been fastened to the carpet by the seal of a boot-heel of heroic size.
+Sophronia stepped into little pools of molasses, and the effect seemed
+to be that the carpet rose to bestow sweet clinging kisses upon the
+dainty feet of the loveliest of her sex.
+
+"Horrible!" ejaculated Sophronia.
+
+"And here come the trucks," said I, looking out of the window, "and the
+one with the parlor furniture is in front."
+
+Fortunately, the truckmen were good-tempered and amenable to reason,
+expressed by means of currency; so we soon had the provisions moved into
+the kitchen. Then the senior truckman kindly consented to dispose of an
+old tarpaulin, at about twice the price of a piece of velvet carpet of
+similar size, and this we spread upon the parlor floor while the
+furniture should be brought in. Sophronia assumed the direction of
+proceedings, but it soon became evident that she was troubled.
+
+"The room, evidently, was not arranged for this furniture," said she.
+
+And she spoke truthfully. We had purchased a lounge, a large
+centre-table, an _etagere_, a Turkish chair, two reception chairs,
+four chairs to match the lounge, a rocker or two, an elegant firescreen,
+and several other articles of furniture, and there was considerable
+difficulty experienced, not only in arranging them, but in getting them
+into the parlor at all. Finally, the senior truckman spoke:
+
+[Illustration: A BRIGHT WELCOME SEEMED TO EXTEND ITSELF FROM THE WHOLE
+FACE OF THE COTTAGE.]
+
+"The only way to git everythin' in, is to fix 'em the way we do at the
+store--set 'em close together."
+
+He spoke truly; and Sophronia, with a sigh, assented to such an
+arrangement, suggesting that we could rearrange the furniture afterward,
+and stipulating only that the lounge should be placed in the front of
+the room. This done, there were three-and-a-half feet of space between
+the front of the lounge and the inside of the window-casings.
+
+We can, at least, sit upon it and lose our souls in the dying glories of
+the sun upon the eternal hills, and--"Gracious, Pierre, where's the
+piano to go?"
+
+Sure enough; and the piano was already at the door. The senior truckman
+cast his professional eye at the vacant space, and spoke:
+
+"You can put it right there," said he. "There won't be no room fur the
+stool to go behind it; but if you put the key-board to the front, an'
+open the winder, you can stand outdoors an' play."
+
+Sophronia eyed the senior truckman suspiciously for a moment, but not
+one of his honest facial muscles moved, so Sophronia exclaimed:
+
+"True. And how romantic!"
+
+While the piano was being placed I became conscious of some shocking
+language being used on the stairway. Looking out I saw two truckmen and
+the headboard of our new bedstead inextricably mixed on the stairs.
+
+"Why don't you go on?" I asked.
+
+The look which one of the truckmen gave me I shall not Forget until my
+dying day; the man's companion remarked that when (qualified) fools
+bought furniture for such (doubly qualified) houses, they ought to have
+brains enough to get things small enough to get up the (trebly
+qualified) stairs.
+
+I could not deny the logic of this statement, impious as were the
+qualifying adjectives which were used thereupon. But something had to be
+done; we could not put the bedstead together upon the stairway and sleep
+upon it there, even were there not other articles of furniture
+imperatively demanding a right of way.
+
+"Try to get it down again," said I.
+
+They tried, and, after one mighty effort, succeeded; they also brought
+down several square yards of ceiling plaster and the entire handrail of
+the stair.
+
+"Think the ceilings of these rooms is high enough to let that bed stand
+up?" asked the senior truckman.
+
+I hastily measured the height of the ceilings, and then of the bedstead,
+and found the latter nearly eighteen inches too high. Then I called
+Sophronia: the bedstead was of her selection, and was an elegant sample
+of fine woods and excessive ornamentation. It was a precious bit of
+furniture, but time was precious, too. The senior truckman suggested
+that the height of the bedstead might be reduced about two feet by the
+removal of the most lofty ornament, and that a healthy man could knock
+it off with his fist.
+
+"Let it be done," said Sophronia. "What matter? A king discrowned is
+still a king at heart."
+
+The senior truckman aimed a deadly blow with a cart-rung, and the
+bedstead filled its appointed place. The remaining furniture followed as
+fast as could be expected; we soon gave up the idea of getting it all
+into the house; but the woodhouse was spacious and easy of access, so we
+stowed there important portions of three chamber sets, a gem of a
+sideboard, the Turkish chair, which had been ordered for the parlor, and
+the hat-rack, which the hall was too small to hold. We also deposited in
+the woodhouse all the pictures, in their original packages.
+
+At length the trucks were emptied; the senior truckman smiled sweetly as
+I passed a small fee into his hand then he looked thoughtfully at the
+roof of the cottage, and remarked:
+
+"It's none of my business, I know; but I hate to see nice things
+spiled. I'd watch that roof, ef I was you, the fust time it rained."
+
+I thanked him; he drove off; I turned and accepted the invitation which
+was presented by Sophronia's outstretched arms.
+
+"Oh, Pierre!" she exclaimed; "at last we are in our own home! No
+uncongenial spirits about us--no one to molest or annoy--no
+unsympathetic souls to stifle our ardent passion for Nature and the work
+of her free, divine hands."
+
+A frowsy head suddenly appeared at the dining-room door, and a voice
+which accompanied it remarked:
+
+"Didn't they bring in any stove, ma'am?"
+
+Sophronia looked inquiringly at me, and I answered:
+
+"No!" looking very blank at the same time.
+
+"Then how am I to make a fire to cook with?" asked the girl.
+
+"In the range, of course," said Sophronia.
+
+Our domestic's next remark had, at least, the effect of teaching what
+was her nationality:
+
+"An' do ye think that I'd ax fur a sthove av dhere was a range in the
+house? Dhivil a bit!"
+
+"Never mind, dear," said I soothingly; "I'm an old soldier; I'll make a
+fire out of doors, and give you as nice a cup of tea and plate of hot
+biscuit as you ever tasted. And I'll order a stove the first thing in
+the morning."
+
+Sophronia consented, and our domestic was appeased. Then I asked the
+domestic to get some water while I should make the fire. The honest
+daughter of toil was absent for many moments, and when she returned, it
+was to report, with some excitement, that there was neither well nor
+cistern on the premises.
+
+Then I grew angry, and remarked, in Sophronia's hearing, that we were a
+couple of fools, to take a house without first proving whether the agent
+had told the truth. But Sophronia, who is a consistent optimist, rebuked
+me for my want of faith in the agent.
+
+"Pierre," said she, "it is unmanly to charge a fellow-man with
+falsehood upon the word of a menial. I know that agent tells the truth,
+for he has such liquid blue eyes; besides, his house is right next to
+the Presbyterian Church."
+
+Either one of these powerful arguments was sufficient to silence me, of
+course; so I took the pail, and sought well and cistern myself. But if
+either was on the place, it was so skillfully secreted that I could not
+find the slightest outward evidence of it. Finally, to be thorough, I
+paced the garden from front to rear, over lines not more than ten feet
+apart, and then scrutinized the fence-corners.
+
+While at this work, I was approached by a gentleman, who seemed to come
+from a house two or three hundred yards off.
+
+"Moved into the cottage, it seems," said he.
+
+"Yes," I replied. "Do you know the place? The agent said there was
+excellent water here, but I can't find it."
+
+"He meant there was good water in my well, where all occupants of the
+cottage have drawn water for several years. The well belonging to your
+place was covered up when the road was cut through, a few years ago, and
+neighbor Hubbell--well, _I_ don't say anything against him--neighbors
+must be neighborly, but folks _do_ say he's too stingy to dig a new
+well. That's the reason the cottage hasn't been occupied much for the
+last few years. But everybody is welcome to draw from my well--come
+along."
+
+I followed the kind-hearted man, but I wished that the liquid depth of
+the agent's blue eyes had a proper parallel upon the estate which he had
+imposed upon me. I returned as full of wrath as my pail was of water,
+when, across the fence, I saw Sophronia's face, so suffused with tender
+exaltation, that admiration speedily banished ill nature.
+
+But it was for a brief moment only, for Sophronia's finely-cut lips
+parted and their owner exclaimed:
+
+"Oh, Pierre! What a charming pastoral picture--you and the pail, and the
+lawn as a background! I wish we might always have to get water from our
+neighbor's, well."
+
+We retired early, and in the delightful quiet of our rural retreat, with
+the moon streaming through our chamber window, Sophronia became poetic,
+and I grew too peaceful and happy even to harbor malice against the
+agent. The eastern sun found his way through the hemlocks to wake us in
+the morning, and the effect was so delightfully different from the
+rising bell of the boarding-house, that when Sophronia indulged in some
+freedom with certain of Whittier's lines, and exclaimed:
+
+  "Sad is the man who never sees
+  The sun shine through his hemlock trees"
+
+I appreciated her sentiment, and expressed my regard in a, loving kiss.
+Again I made a fire out of doors, boiled coffee, fried ham and eggs,
+made some biscuit, begged some milk of our neighbor, and then we had a
+delightful little breakfast. Then I started for the station.
+
+"Don't forget the stove, dear," said Sophronia, as she gave me a parting
+kiss; "and be sure to send a butcher, and baker, and grocer, and--"
+
+Just then our domestic appeared and remarked:
+
+"Arah ye may as well get another girl; the likes ai me isn't goin' to
+bring wather from half-a-mile away."
+
+Sophronia grew pale, but she lost not an atom of her saintly calmness;
+she only said, half to herself:
+
+"Poor thing! she hasn't a bit of poetry in her soul."
+
+When I returned in the evening, I found Sophronia in tears. The stove
+men had not quite completed their work, so Sophronia and her assistant
+had eaten nothing but dry bread since breakfast. The girl interrupted us
+to say that the stove was ready, but that she couldn't get either coal
+or wood, and would I just come and see why? I descended five of the
+cellar stairs, but the others were covered with water, and upon the
+watery expanse about me floated the wagon-load of wood I had purchased.
+The coal heap, under a window fifteen feet away, loomed up like a rugged
+crag of basaltic rock. I took soundings with a stick and found the
+water was rather more than two feet deep. Fortunately, there were among
+my war relics a pair of boots as long as the legs of their owner, so I
+drew these on and descended the stairs with shovel and coal scuttle. The
+boots had not been oiled in ten years, so they found accommodation for
+several quarts of water. As I strode angrily into the kitchen and set
+the scuttle down with a suddenness which shook the floor, Sophronia
+clapped her hands in ecstasy.
+
+"Pierre," she exclaimed, "you look like the picture of the sturdy
+retainers of the old English barons. O, I do hope that water won't go
+away very soon. The rattling of the water in your boots makes your step
+_so_ impressive."
+
+I found that in spite of the hunger from which she had suffered,
+Sophronia had not been idle during the day. She had coaxed the baker's
+man to open the cases of pictures, and she and the domestic had carried
+each picture to the room in which it was to hang. The highest ceiling in
+the house was six and a half feet from the floor, whereas our smallest
+picture measured three feet and a half in height. But Sophronia's
+art-loving soul was not to be daunted; the pictures being too large to
+hang, she had leaned them against the walls.
+
+"It's such an original idea," said she; "and then, too, it gives each
+picture such an unusual effect--don't you think so?"
+
+I certainly did.
+
+We spent the evening in trying to make our rooms look less like
+furniture warehouses, but succeeded only partly. We agreed, too, that we
+could find something for painters and kalsominers to do, for the
+ceilings and walls were blotched and streaked so much that our pretty
+furniture and carpets only made the plastering look more dingy. But when
+again we retired, and our lights were put, and only soft moonbeams
+relieved the darkness, our satisfaction with our new house filled us
+with pleasant dreams, which we exchanged before sleeping. After falling
+asleep, I dreamed of hearing a wonderful symphony performed by an unseen
+orchestra; it seemed as if Liszt might have composed it, and as if the
+score was particularly strong in trombones and drums. Then the scene
+changed, and I was on a ship in a storm at sea; the gale was blowing my
+hair about, and huge rain-drops occasionally struck my face. Sophronia
+was by my side; but, instead of glorying with me in meeting the
+storm-king in his home, she complained bitterly of the rain. The
+unaccountable absence of her constitutional romanticism provoked me, and
+I remonstrated so earnestly, that the effort roused me to wakefulness.
+But Sophronia's complaining continued. I had scarcely realized that I
+was in a cottage chamber instead of on a ship's deck, when Sophronia
+exclaimed:
+
+"Pierre, I wonder if a shower-bath hasn't been arranged just where our
+bed stands? because drops of water are falling in my face once in a
+while. They are lovely and cool, but they trickle off on the pillow, and
+that don't feel nice."
+
+I lit a candle, and examined the ceiling; directly over Sophronia's head
+there was a heavy blotch, from the centre of which the water was
+dropping.
+
+"Another result of taking that liquid blue-eyed agent's word," I
+growled, hastily moving the bed and its occupant, and setting the basin
+on the floor to catch the water and save the carpet.
+
+"Why, Pierre!" exclaimed Sophronia, as I blew out the light, "how unjust
+you are. Who could expect an agent to go over the roof like a cat, and
+examine each shingle? Gracious! it's dropping here, too!"
+
+Again I lighted the candle and moved the bed, but before I had time to
+retire Sophronia complained that a stream was trickling down upon her
+feet. The third time the bed was moved water dropped down upon _my_
+pillow, and the room was too small to re-locate the bed so that none of
+these unauthorized hydrants should moisten us. Then we tried our spare
+chamber, but that was equally damp.
+
+Suddenly I bethought myself of another war relic; and, hurrying to an
+old trunk, extracted an india-rubber blanket. This, if we kept very
+close together, kept the water out, but almost smothered us. We changed
+our positions by sitting up, back to back, and dropping the rubber
+blanket over our heads. By this arrangement the air was allowed to
+circulate freely, and we had some possibilities of conversation left us;
+but the effect of the weight of the blanket resting largely upon our
+respective noses was somewhat depressing. Suddenly Sophronia remarked:
+
+"Oh, Pierre! this reminds me of those stories you used to tell me, of
+how you and all your earthly treasures used to hide under this blanket
+from the rain!"
+
+The remark afforded an opportunity for a very graceful reply, but four
+hours elapsed before I saw it. Sophronia did not seem hurt by my
+negligence, but almost instantly continued:
+
+"It would be just like war, if there was only some shooting going on.
+Can't you fire your revolver out of the window, Pierre?"
+
+"I could," I replied, "if that blue-eyed agent was anywhere within
+range."
+
+"Why, Pierre, I think you're dreadfully unjust to that poor man. _He_
+can't go sleeping around in all the rooms of each of his cottages every
+time there's a rainstorm, to see if they leak. Besides--oh, Pierre! I've
+a brilliant idea! It can't be wet down-stairs."
+
+True. I was so engrossed by different plans of revenge, that I had not
+thought of going into the parlor or dining-room to sleep. We moved to
+the parlor; Sophronia took the lounge, while I found the floor a little
+harder than I supposed an ex-soldier could ever find any plane surface.
+It did not take me long, however, to learn that the parlor-floor was
+_not_ a plane surface. It contained a great many small elevations which
+kept me awake for the remainder of the night, wondering what they could
+be. At early dawn I was as far from a satisfactory theory as ever, and I
+hastily loosened one end of the carpet and looked under. The
+protuberances were knots in the flooring boards. In the days when the
+sturdy patriots of New Jersey despised such monarchical luxuries as
+carpets, the soft portions of these boards had been slowly worn away,
+but the knots--every one has heard the expression "as tough as a pine
+knot." Fortunately, we had indulged in a frightfully expensive rug, and
+upon this I sought and found a brief period of repose and forgetfulness.
+
+While we were at the breakfast-table our girl appeared, with red eyes
+and a hoarse voice, and remarked that now she _must_ leave; she had
+learned to like us, and she loved the country, but she had an aged
+parent whose sole support she was, and could not afford to risk her life
+in such a house.
+
+"Let her go," said Sophronia. "If variety is the spice of life, why
+shouldn't the rule apply to servants?"
+
+"Perhaps it does, my dear," I replied; "but if we have to pay each girl
+a month's wages for two or three days of work, the spice will be more
+costly than enjoyable--eh?"
+
+Immediately after breakfast I sought the agent. I supposed he would meet
+me with downcast eyes and averted head, but he did nothing of the kind;
+he extended his hand cordially, and said he was delighted to see me.
+
+"That roof," said I, getting promptly to business, "leaks--well, it's
+simply a sieve. And you told me the house was dry."
+
+"So the owner told _me_, sir; of course you can't expect us to inspect
+the hundreds of houses we handle in a year."
+
+"Well, however that may be, the owner is mistaken, and he must repair
+the roof at once."
+
+The agent looked thoughtful. "If you had wished the landlord to make
+necessary repairs, you should have so stipulated in the lease. The lease
+you have signed provides that all repairs shall be made at your own
+expense."
+
+"Did the landlord draw up the lease?" I asked, fixing my eye severely
+upon the agent's liquid orbs. But the agent met my gaze with defiance
+and an expression of injured dignity.
+
+"I asked you whether you would have the usual form of lease," said the
+agent, "and you replied, 'Certainly.'"
+
+I abruptly left the agent's presence, went to a lumber yard near by, and
+asked where I could find the best carpenter in town. He happened to be
+on the ground purchasing some lumber, and to him I made known my
+troubles, and begged him to hasten to my relief. The carpenter was a man
+of great decision of character, and he replied promptly, ciphering on a
+card in the meantime:
+
+"No you don't. Every carpenter in town has tried his hand on that roof,
+and made it worse than before. The only way to make it tight is to
+re-shingle it all over. That'll cost you $67.50, unless the scantling is
+too rotten to hold the nails, in which case the job'll cost you $18.75
+more. I guess the rafters are strong enough to hold together a year or
+two longer."
+
+I made some excuse to escape the carpenter and his dreadful figures, and
+he graciously accepted it; doubtless the perfect method in which he did
+it was the result of frequent interviews with other wretched beings who
+had leased the miserable house which I had taken into my confidence. I
+determined to plead with the landlord, whose name I knew, and I asked a
+chance acquaintance on the train if he knew where I could find the
+proprietor of my house.
+
+"Certainly," said he; "there he is in the opposite seat but one, reading
+a religious weekly."
+
+I looked; my heart sank within me, and my body sank into a seat. A
+cold-eyed, hatchet-faced man, from whom not even the most eloquent
+beggar could hope to coax a penny. Of what use would it be to try to
+persuade him to spend sixty-seven dollars and fifty cents on something
+which _I_ had agreed to take care of. _Something_ had to be done,
+however, so I wasted most of the day in consulting New York roofers. The
+conclusion of the whole matter was that I spent about thirty dollars for
+condemned "flies" from "hospital" tents, and had these drawn tightly
+over the roof. When this was done the appearance of the house was such
+that I longed for an incendiary who would compel me to seek a new
+residence; but when Sophronia gazed upon the roof she clapped her hands
+joyfully, and exclaimed:
+
+"Pierre, it will be _almost_ as nice as living in a tent, to have one on
+the roof; it _looks_ just the same, you know, until your eyes get down
+to the edge of it."
+
+There was at least one comfort in living at Villa Valley: the people
+were very intelligent and sociable, and we soon made many pleasant
+acquaintances. But they all had something dreadful to suggest about our
+house. A doctor, who was a remarkably fine fellow, said he would be glad
+of my patronage, and didn't doubt that he would soon have it, unless I
+had the cellar pumped out at once. Then Mrs. Blathe, the leader of
+society in the village, told my wife how a couple who once lived in our
+cottage always had chills, though no one else at Villa Valley had the
+remotest idea of what a chill was. The several coal dealers in the
+village competed in the most lively manner for our custom, and when I
+mentioned the matter, in some surprise, to my grocer, he remarked that
+_they_ knew what houses needed most coal to keep them warm the year
+through, and worked for custom accordingly. A deacon, who was sociable
+but solemn, remarked that some of his most sweetly mournful associations
+clustered about our cottage--he had followed several of its occupants to
+their long homes.
+
+And yet, as the season advanced, and the air was too dry to admit of
+dampness anywhere, and the Summer breezes blew in the windows and doors
+whole clouds of perfume from the rank thickets of old-fashioned roses
+which stood about the garden, we became sincerely attached to the little
+cottage. Then heavy masses of honeysuckles and vines which were trained
+against the house, grew dense and picturesque with foliage, and
+Sophronia would enjoy hours of perfect ecstasy, sitting in an easy-chair
+under the evergreens and gazing at the graceful outlines of the house
+and its verdant ornaments.
+
+But the cellar was obdurate. It was pumped dry several times, but no
+pump could reach the inequalities in its floor, and in August there came
+a crowd of mosquitoes from the water in these small holes. They covered
+the ceilings and walls, they sat in every chair, they sang
+accompaniments to all of Sophronia's songs, they breakfasted, dined, and
+supped with us and upon us. Sophronia began to resemble a person in the
+first stages of varioloid, yet that incomparable woman would sit between
+sunset and dusk, looking, through nearly closed eyes, at the walls and
+ceiling, and would remark:
+
+"Pierre, when you look at the walls in this way, the mosquitoes give
+them the effect of being papered with some of that exquisite new
+Japanese wall-paper, with its quaint spots; don't you think so?"
+
+Finally September came, and with it the equinoctial storm. We lay in bed
+one night, the wind howling about us, and Sophronia rhapsodising,
+through the medium of Longfellow's lines, about
+
+  "The storm-wind of the Equinox,"
+
+when we heard a terrific crash, and then the sound of a falling body
+which shook the whole house. Sophronia clasped me wildly and began to
+pray; but I speedily disengaged myself, lighted a candle, and sought the
+cause of our disturbance. I found it upon the hall-floor: it was the
+front-door and its entire casing, both of which, with considerable
+plaster, lathing, and rotten wood, had been torn from its place by the
+fury of the storm.
+
+In the morning I sought a printer, with a small but strong manuscript
+which I had spent the small hours of the night in preparing. It bore
+this title, "The House I Live In." The printer gave me the proof the
+same day, and I showed it to the owner of the house the same evening,
+remarking that I should mail a copy to every resident of Villa Valley,
+and have one deposited in every Post Office box in New York City. The
+owner offered to cancel my lease if I would give up my unkind intention,
+and I consented. Then we hired a new cottage (_not_ from the agent with
+the liquid blue eyes), and, before accepting it, I examined it as if it
+were to be my residence to all eternity. Yet when all our household
+goods were removed, and Sophronia and I took our final departure, the
+gentle mistress of my home turned regretfully, burst into tears, and
+sobbed:
+
+"Oh, Pierre! in spite of everything, it _is_ a love of a cottage."
+
+
+
+
+THE BLEIGHTON RIVALS.
+
+
+The village of Bleighton contained as many affectionate young people as
+any other place of its size, and was not without young ladies, for the
+possession of whose hearts two or more young men strove against each
+other. When, however, allusion was ever made to "the rivals" no one
+doubted to whom the reference applied: it was always understood that the
+young men mentioned were those two of Miss Florence Elserly's admirers
+for whom Miss Elserly herself seemed to have more regard than she
+manifested toward any one else.
+
+There has always been some disagreement among the young ladies of
+Bleighton as to Miss Elserly's exact rank among beauties, but there was
+no possibility of doubt that Miss Elserly attracted more attention than
+any other lady in the town, and that among her admirers had been every
+young man among whom other Bleighton ladies of taste would have chosen
+their life-partners had the power of choosing pertained to their own
+sex.
+
+The good young men of the village, the successful business men who were
+bachelors, and the stylish young fellows who came from the neighboring
+city in the Summer, bowed before Miss Elserly as naturally as if fate,
+embodied in the person of the lady herself, commanded them.
+
+How many proposals Miss Elserly had received no one knew; for two or
+three years no one was able to substantiate an opinion, from the young
+lady's walk and conversation, that she specially preferred any one of
+her personal acquaintances; but at length it became evident that she
+evinced more than the interest of mere acquaintanceship in Hubert Brown,
+the best of the native-born young men of the village.
+
+Mr. Brown was a theological student, but the march of civilization had
+been such at Bleighton that a prospective shepherd of souls might listen
+to one of Beethoven's symphonies in a city opera-house without having
+any sin imputed unto him! Such music-loving inhabitants of Bleighton as
+listened to one of these symphonies, which was also heard by Mr. Brown
+and Miss Elserly, noticed that when the young couple exchanged words and
+glances, Miss Elserly's well-trained features were not so carefully
+guarded as they usually were in society. Such ladies as had nothing to
+do, and even a few who were not without pressing demands upon their
+time, canvassed the probabilities of the match quite exhaustively, and
+made some prophecies, but were soon confused by the undoubted fact that
+Miss Elserly drove out a great deal with Major Mailing, the dashing
+ex-soldier, and successful broker from the city.
+
+The charm of uncertainty being thus added to the ordinary features of
+interest which pertain to all persons suspected of being in love, made
+Miss Elserly's affairs of unusual importance to every one who knew the
+young lady even by sight, and for three whole months "the rivals" were a
+subject of conversation next in order to the weather. At length there
+came a day when the case seemed decided. For three days Hubert Brown's
+face was very seldom seen on the street, and when seen it was longer and
+more solemn than was required even by that order of sanctity in which
+theological students desire to live.
+
+Then it was noticed that while Miss Elserly's beauty grew no less in
+degree, it changed in kind; that she was more than ever seen in the
+society of the handsome broker, and that the broker's attentions were
+assiduous. Then it was suspected that Mr. Brown had proposed and been
+rejected. Ladies who owed calls to Mr. Brown's mother, made haste to
+pay them, and, as rewards of merit, brought away confirmation of the
+report. Then, before the gossips had reported the probable engagement of
+Miss Elserly to Major Mailing, the lady and major made the announcement
+themselves to their intimate friends, and the news quickly reached every
+one who cared to hear it.
+
+A few weeks later, however, there circulated very rapidly a story whose
+foreshadowing could not have been justly expected of the village
+gossips. The major absented himself for a day or two from his
+boarding-house, and at a time, too, when numerous gentlemen from the
+city came to call upon him.
+
+Some of these callers returned hurriedly to the city, evincing by words
+and looks the liveliest disappointment, while two of them, after
+considerable private conversation with the proprietress of the house,
+and after displaying some papers, in the presence of a local justice of
+the peace, to whom the good old lady sent in her perplexity, took
+possession of the major's room and made quite free with the ex-warrior's
+cigars, liquors, and private papers.
+
+Then the city newspapers told how Mr. Malling, a broker of excellent
+ability and reputation, as well as one of the most gallant of his
+country's defenders in her hour of need, had been unable to meet his
+engagements, and had also failed to restore on demand fifteen thousand
+dollars in United States bonds which had been intrusted to him for
+safe-keeping. A warrant had been issued for Mr. Malling's arrest; but at
+last accounts the officers had been unable to find him.
+
+Miss Elserly immediately went into the closest retirement, and even
+girls whom she had robbed of prospective beaus felt sorry for her.
+People began to suggest that there might have been a chance for Brown,
+after all, if he had staid at home, instead of rushing off to the West
+to play missionary. He owned more property in his own right than the
+major had misplaced for other people; and though some doubts were
+expressed as to Miss Elserly's fitness for the position of a minister's
+wife, the matter was no less interesting as a subject for conversation.
+The excellence of the chance which both Brown and Miss Elserly had lost
+seemed even greater when it became noised abroad that Brown had written
+to some real estate agents in the village that, as he might want to go
+into business in the West, to sell for him, for cash, a valuable farm
+which his father had left him. As for the business which Mr. Brown
+proposed entering, the reader may form his own opinions from a little
+conversation hereinafter recorded.
+
+As Hubert Brown, trying to drown thought and do good, was wandering
+through a Colorado town one evening, he found himself face to face with
+Major Mailing. The major looked seedy, and some years older than he did
+a month before, but his pluck was unchanged. Seeing that an interview
+could not be avoided, he assumed an independent air, and exclaimed:
+
+"Why, Brown, what did you do that you had to come West?"
+
+"Nothing," said the student, flushing a little--"except be useless."
+
+"I thought," said the major, quickly, with a desperate but sickly
+attempt at pleasantry, "that you had gone in for Florence again; she's
+worth all your 'lost sheep of the house of Israel.'"
+
+"I don't make love to women who love other men," replied Brown.
+
+"Don't, please, Brown," said the major, turning manly in a moment. "I
+feel worse about her than about all my creditors or those infernal
+bonds. I got into the snarl before I knew her; that's the only way I can
+quiet my conscience. Of course the--matter is all up now. I wrote her as
+good an apology as I could, and a release; she'd have taken the latter
+without my giving it, but--"
+
+"No she wouldn't," interrupted the student.
+
+"How do you know?" demanded the major, with a suspicious glance, which
+did not escape Brown. "Did you torment her by proposing again upon the
+top of her other troubles?"
+
+"No," said Brown; "don't be insulting. But I know that she keeps herself
+secluded, and that her looks and spirits are dreadfully changed. If she
+cared nothing for you, she knows society would cheerfully forgive her if
+she were to show it."
+
+"I wish to Satan that I hadn't met _you_, then," said the major. "I've
+taken solid comfort in the thought that most likely she was again the
+adored of all adorers, and was forgetting me, as she has so good a right
+to do."
+
+"Major," said Brown, bringing his hand down on the major's shoulder in a
+manner suggestive of a deputy sheriff, "you ought to go back to that
+girl!"
+
+"And fail," suggested the major. "Thank you; and allow me to say you're
+a devilish queer fellow for suggesting it. Is it part of your religion
+to forgive a successful rival?"
+
+"It's part of my religion, when I love, to love the woman more than I
+love myself," said Brown, with a face in which pain and earnestness
+strove for the mastery. "She loves you. I loved her, and want to see her
+happy."
+
+The defaulter grasped the student's hand.
+
+"Brown," said he, "you're one of God's noblemen; _she_ told me so once,
+but I didn't imagine then that I'd ever own up to it myself. It can't be
+done, though; she can't marry a man in disgrace--I can't ask a woman to
+marry me on nothing; and, besides, there's the matter of those infernal
+bonds. I _can't_ clear that up, and keep out of the sheriff's fingers."
+
+"I can," said Brown.
+
+"How?" asked the ex-broker, with staring eyes.
+
+"I'll lend the money."
+
+The major dropped Brown's hand.
+
+"You heavenly lunatic!" said he. "I always _did_ think religion made
+fools of men when they got too much of it. Then I could go back on the
+Street again; the boys would be glad to see me clear myself--not
+meeting my engagements wouldn't be remembered against me. But,
+say--borrow money from an old rival to make myself right with the girl
+_he_ loved! No, excuse me. I've got _some_ sense of honor left!"
+
+"You mean you love yourself more than you do her," suggested Brown.
+"I'll telegraph about the money, and you write her in the meantime.
+Don't ruin her happiness for life by delay or trifling."
+
+The major became a business man again.
+
+"Brown," said he, "I'll take your offer; and, whatever comes of it,
+you'll have one friend you can swear to as long as I live. You haven't
+the money with you?"
+
+"No," said Brown; "but you shall have it in a fortnight. I'll telegraph
+about it, and go East and settle the business for you, so you can come
+back without fear."
+
+"You're a trump; but--don't think hard of me--money's never certain till
+you have it in hand. I'll write and send my letter East by you; when the
+matter's absolutely settled, you can telegraph _me_, and mail her my
+letter. I'd expect to be shot if I made such a proposal to any other
+rival, but you're not a man--you're a saint. Confound you, all the
+sermons I ever heard hadn't as much real goodness in them as I've heard
+the last ten minutes! But 'twould be awful for me to write and then have
+the thing slip up!"
+
+Brown admitted the justice of the major's plan, and took the major to
+his own hotel to keep him from bad company.
+
+During the whole evening the major talked about business: but when,
+after a night of sound sleep, the student awoke, he found the major
+pacing his room with a very pale face, and heard him declare that he had
+not slept a wink.
+
+Brown pitied the major in his nervous condition and did what he could to
+alleviate it. He talked to him of Florence Elserly, of whom he seemed
+never to tire of talking; he spoke to him of his own work and hopes. He
+tried to picture to the major the happy future which was awaiting him
+but still the major was unquiet and absent-minded. Brown called in a
+physician, to whom he said his friend was suffering from severe mental
+depression, brought on by causes now removed; but the doctor's
+prescriptions failed to have any effect. Finally, when Brown was to
+start for the East the major, paler and thinner than ever, handed him a
+letter addressed to Miss Elserly.
+
+"Brown," said the major, "I believe you won't lose any money by your
+goodness. I _can_ make money when I am not reckless, and I'll make it my
+duty to be careful until you are paid. The rest I _can't_ pay, but I'm
+going to try to be as good a man as you are. That's the sort of
+compensation that'll please such an unearthly fellow best, I guess."
+
+When Hubert Brown reached Bleighton, he closed with the best offer that
+had been made for his farm, though the offer itself was one which made
+the natives declare that Hubert Brown had taken leave of his senses.
+Then he settled with the loser of the bonds, saw one or two of the
+major's business acquaintances, and prepared the way for the major's
+return; then he telegraphed the major himself. Lastly, he dressed
+himself with care and called upon Miss Elserly. Before sending up his
+card, he penciled upon it "_avec nouvelles a lire_," which words the
+servant scanned with burning curiosity, but of which she could remember
+but one, when she tried to repeat them to the grocer's young man, and
+this one she pronounced "arick," as was natural enough in a lady of her
+nationality. This much of the message was speedily circulated through
+the town, and caused at least one curious person to journey to a great
+library in the city in quest of a Celtic dictionary. As for the
+recipient of the card, she met her old lover with a face made more than
+beautiful by the conflicting emotions which manifested themselves in it.
+The interview was short. Mr. Brown said he had accidentally met the
+major and had successfully acted as his agent in relieving him from his
+embarrassments. He had the pleasure of delivering a letter from the
+major, and hoped it might make Miss Elserly as happy to receive it as
+it made him to present it. Miss Elserly expressed her thanks, and then
+Mr. Brown said:
+
+[Illustration: HE TOOK MISS ELSERLY'S HAND IN HIS OWN, AND STAMMERED, "I
+CAME TO PLEAD FOR THE MAJOR."]
+
+"Pardon a bit of egotism and reference to an unpleasant subject, Miss
+Elserly, Once I told you that I loved you; in this matter of the
+major's, I have been prompted solely by a sincere desire for your
+happiness; and by acting in this spirit I have entirely taken the pain
+out of my old wound. Mayn't I, therefore, as the major's most sincere
+well-wisher, enjoy once more your friendship?"
+
+Miss Elserly smiled sweetly, and extended her hand, and Hubert Brown
+went home a very happy man. Yet, when he called again, several evenings
+later, he was not as happy as he had hoped to be in Miss Elserly's
+society, for the lady herself, though courteous and cordial, seemed
+somewhat embarrassed and _distrait_, and interrupted the young man on
+several occasions when he spoke in commendation of some good quality of
+the major's. Again he called, and again the same strange embarrassment,
+though less in degree, manifested itself. Finally, it disappeared
+altogether, and Miss Elserly began to recover her health and spirits.
+Even then she did not exhibit as tender an interest in the major as the
+student had hoped she would do; but, as the major's truest friend, he
+continued to sound his praises, and to pay Miss Elserly, in the major's
+stead, every kind of attention he could devise.
+
+Finally he learned that the major was in the city, and he hastened to
+inform Miss Elserly, lest, perhaps, she had not heard so soon. The lady
+received the announcement with an exquisite blush and downcast eyes,
+though she admitted that the major had himself apprised her of his safe
+arrival. On this particular evening the lady seemed to Mr. Brown to be
+personally more charming than ever; yet, on the other hand, the old
+embarrassment was so painfully evident that Mr. Brown made an early
+departure. Arrived at home he found a letter from the major which read
+as follows:
+
+"MY DEAR OLD FELLOW.--From the day on which I met you in Colorado I've
+been trying to live after your pattern; how I succeeded on the third
+day, you may guess from inclosed, which is a copy of a letter I sent to
+Florence by you. I've only just got her permission to send it to you,
+though I've teased her once a week on the subject. God bless you, old
+fellow. Don't worry on my account, for I'm really happy. Yours truly,
+
+"MALLING."
+
+With wondering eyes Hubert Brown read the inclosure, which read as
+follows:
+
+"Miss ELSERLY--Three days ago, while a fugitive from justice, yet
+honestly loving you more than I ever loved any other being, I met Hubert
+Brown. He has cared for me as if I was his dearest friend; he is going
+to make good my financial deficiencies, and restore me to
+respectability. He cannot have done this out of love for _me_, for he
+knows nothing of me but that which should make him hate me, on both
+personal and moral grounds. He says he did it because he loved you, and
+because he wants to see you happy. Miss Elserly, such love cannot be a
+thing of the past only, and it is so great that in comparison with it
+the best love that _I_ have ever given you seems beneath your notice. He
+is begging me to go back for your sake; he is constantly talking to me
+about you in a tone and with a look that shows how strong is the feeling
+he is sacrificing, out of sincere regard for you. Miss Elserly, I never
+imagined the angels loving as purely and strongly as he does. He tells
+me you still retain some regard for me; the mere thought is so great a
+comfort that I cannot bear to reason seriously about it; yet, if any
+such feelings exist, I must earnestly beg of you, out of the sincere and
+faithful affection I have had for you, to give up all thought of me for
+ever, and give yourself entirely to that most incomparable lover, Hubert
+Brown.
+
+"Forgive my intrusion and advice. I give it because the remembrance of
+our late relations will assure you of the honesty and earnestness of my
+meaning. I excuse myself by the thought that to try to put into such
+noble keeping the dearest treasure that I ever possessed, is a duty
+which justifies my departure from any conventional rule. I am, Miss
+Elserly, as ever, your worshiper. More than this I cannot dare to think
+of being, after my own fall and the overpowering sense I have of the
+superior worth of another. God bless you.
+
+"ANDREW MALLING."
+
+Mr. Brown hastily laid the letter aside, and again called upon Miss
+Elserly.
+
+Again she met him with many signs of the embarrassment whose cause he
+now understood so well; yet as he was about to deliver an awkward
+apology a single look from under Miss Elserly's eyebrows--only a glance,
+but as searching and eloquent as it was swift--stopped his tongue. He
+took Miss Elserly's hand in his own and stammered:
+
+"I came to plead for the major."
+
+"And I shan't listen to you," said she, raising her eyes with so tender
+a light in them that Hubert Brown immediately hid the eyes themselves in
+his heart, lest the light should be lost.
+
+
+
+
+BUDGE AND TODDIE AT AUNT ALICE'S.
+
+[_The following is quoted, by permission, from Mr. Habberton's popular
+book_, "OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN," _published by_ G.P. PUTNAM'S SONS,
+_New York_.]
+
+
+Mrs. Burton's birthday dawned brightly, and it is not surprising that,
+as it was her first natal anniversary since her marriage to a man who
+had no intention or ability to cease being a lover--it is not surprising
+that her ante-breakfast moments were too fully and happily occupied to
+allow her to even think of two little boys who had already impressed
+upon her their willingness and general ability to think for themselves.
+As for the young men themselves, they awoke with the lark, and with a
+heavy sense of responsibility also. The room of Mrs. Burton's
+chambermaid joined their own, and the occupant of that room having been
+charged by her mistress with the general care of the boys between dark
+and daylight, she had gradually lost that faculty for profound slumber
+which so notably distinguishes the domestic servant from all other human
+beings. She had grown accustomed to wake at the first sound in the boys'
+room, and on the morning of her mistress's birthday the first sound she
+heard was: "Tod!"
+
+No response could be heard; but a moment later the chambermaid heard:
+
+"T--o--o--od!"
+
+"Ah--h--h--ow!" drawled a voice, not so sleepily but it could sound
+aggrieved.
+
+"Wake up, dear old Toddie, budder--it's Aunt Alice's birthday now."
+
+"Needn't bweak my earzh open, if '_tis,_ whined Toddie."
+
+"I only holloed in _one_ ear, Tod," remonstrated Budge "an' you ought
+to love dear Aunt Alice enough to have _that_ hurt a little rather than
+not wake up."
+
+A series of groans, snarls, whines, grunts, snorts, and remonstrances
+semi-articulate were heard, and at length some complicated wriggles and
+convulsive kicks were made manifest to the listening ear, and then Budge
+said:
+
+"_That's_ right; now let's get up an' get ready. Say; do you know that
+we didn't think anything about having some music. Don't you remember how
+papa played the piano last mamma's birthday when she came down stairs,
+an' how happy it made her, an' we danced around?"
+
+"Aw wight," said Toddie. "Let's."
+
+"_Tell_ you what," said Budge, "let's _both_ bang the piano, like mamma
+an' Aunt Alice does together sometimes."
+
+"Oh, yesh!" exclaimed Toddie. "We can make some awful _big_ bangsh
+before she can get down to tell us to don't."
+
+Then there was heard a scurrying of light feet as the boys picked up
+their various articles of clothing from the corners, chairs, bureau,
+table, etc., where they had been tossed the night before. The
+chambermaid hurried to their assistance, and both boys were soon
+dressed. A plate containing bananas, and another with the hard-earned
+grapes, were on the bureau, and the boys took them and tiptoed down the
+stair and into the drawing-room.
+
+"Gwacious!" said Toddie, as he placed his plate on the sideboard, "maybe
+the gwapes an' buttonanoes has got sour. I guesh we'd better try 'em,
+like mamma does the milk on hot morningsh when the baddy milkman don't
+come time enough," and Toddie suited the action to the word by plucking
+from a cluster the handsomest grape in sight. "I _fink_," said he,
+smacking his lips with the suspicious air of a professional wine-taster;
+"I fink they _is_ gettin' sour." "Let's see," said Budge.
+
+"No," said Toddie, plucking another grape with one hand while with the
+other he endeavored to cover his gift. "Ize bid enough to do it all
+myself. Unless," he added, as a happy inspiration struck him, "you'll
+let me help see if your buttonanoes are sour."
+
+"Then you can only have one bite," said Budge, "You must let me taste
+about six grapes, 'cause 'twould take that many to make one of _your_
+bites on a banana."
+
+"Aw wight," said Toddie; and the boys proceeded to exchange duties,
+Budge taking the precaution to hold the banana himself, so that his
+brother should not abstractedly sample a second time, and Toddie doling
+out the grapes with careful count.
+
+"They _are_ a little sour," said Budge, with a wry face. "Perhaps some
+other bunch is better. I think we'd better try each one, don't you?"
+
+"An' each one of the buttonanoes, too," suggested Toddie. "_That_ one
+wazh pretty good, but maybe some of the others isn't."
+
+The proposition was accepted, and soon each banana had its length
+reduced by a fourth, and the grape-clusters displayed a fine development
+of wood. Then Budge seemed to realize that his present was not as
+sightly as it might be, for he carefully closed the skins at the ends,
+and turned the unbroken ends to the front as deftly as if he were a born
+retailer of fruit.
+
+This done, he exclaimed: "Oh! we want our cards on em, else how will she
+know who they came from?"
+
+"We'll be here to tell her," said Toddie.
+
+"Huh!" said Budge; "That wouldn't make her half so happy. Don't you know
+how when cousin Florence gets presents of flowers, she's always happiest
+when she's lookin' at the card that comes with 'em?"
+
+"Aw right," said Toddie, hurrying into the parlor,'and returning with
+the cards of a lady and gentleman, taken haphazard from his aunt's
+card-receiver.
+
+"Now, we must write 'Happy Birthday' on the backs of 'em," said Budge,
+exploring his pockets, and extracting a stump of a lead-pencil. "Now,"
+continued Budge, leaning over the card, and displaying all the facial
+contortions of the unpracticed writer, as he laboriously printed, in
+large letters, speaking, as he worked, a letter at a time:
+
+"H--A--P--P--E B--U--R--F--D--A--Happy Birthday. Now, you must hold the
+pencil for yours, or else it won't be so sweet--that's what mamma says."
+
+Toddie took the pencil in his pudgy hand, and Budge guided the hand; and
+two juvenile heads touched each other, and swayed, and twisted, and
+bobbed in unison until the work was completed.
+
+"Now, I think she ought to come," said Budge. (Breakfast time was still
+more than an hour distant.) "Why, the rising-bell hasn't rung yet! Let's
+ring it!"
+
+The boys fought for possession of the bell; but superior might
+conquered, and Budge marched up and down the hall, ringing with the
+enthusiasm and duration peculiar to the amateur.
+
+"Bless me!" exclaimed Mrs. Burton, hastening to complete her toilet.
+"How time does fly--sometimes!"
+
+Mr. Burton saw something in his wife's face that seemed to call for
+lover-like treatment; but it was not without a sense of injury that he
+exclaimed, immediately after, as he drew forth his watch:
+
+"I declare! I would make an affidavit that we hadn't been awake half an
+hour. Ah! I forgot to wind up my watch last night."
+
+The boys hurried into the parlor.
+
+"I hear 'em trampin' around!" exclaimed Budge, in great excitement.
+"There!--the piano's shut! Isn't that _too_ mean! Oh, _I'll_ tell
+you--here's Uncle Harry's violin."
+
+"Then whatsh _I_ goin' to play on?" asked Toddie, dancing frantically
+about.
+
+"Wait a minute," said Budge, dropping the violin, and hurrying to the
+floor above, from which he speedily returned with a comb. A bound volume
+of the _Portfolio_ lay upon the table, and opening this, Badge tore the
+tissue paper from one of the etchings and wrapped the comb in it.
+
+"There!" said he, "you fiddle an' I'll blow the comb. Goodness! why
+_don't_ they come down? Oh, we forgot to put pennies under the plate,
+and we don't know how many years old to put 'em for."
+
+"An' we ain't got no pennies," said Toddie.
+
+"_I_ know," said Budge, hurrying to a cabinet in a drawer of which his
+uncle kept the nucleus of a collection of American coinage. "This kind
+of pennies," Budge continued, "isn't so pretty as our kind, but they're
+bigger, an' they'll look better on a table-cloth. Now, how old do you
+think she is?"
+
+"I dunno," said Toddie, going into a reverie of hopeless conjecture.
+"She's about as big as you and me put togevver."
+
+"Well," said Budge, "you're four an' I'm six, an' four an' six is ten--I
+guess ten'll be about the thing."
+
+Mrs. Burton's plate was removed, and the pennies were deposited in a
+circle. There was some painful counting and recounting, and many
+disagreements, additions and subtractions. Finally, the pennies were
+arranged in four rows, two of three each and two of two each, and Budge
+counted the threes and Toddie verified the twos; and Budge was adding
+the four sums together, when footsteps were heard descending the stairs.
+
+Budge hastily dropped the surplus coppers upon the four rows, replaced
+the plate, and seized the comb as Toddie placed the violin against his
+knee, as he had seen small, itinerant Italians do. A second or two
+later, as the host and hostess entered the dining-room, there arose a
+sound which caused Mrs. Burton to clap her fingers to her ears, while
+her husband exclaimed:
+
+'"Scat!"
+
+Then both boys dropped their instruments, Toddie finding the ways of his
+own feet seriously compromised by the strings of the violin, while both
+children turned happy faces toward their aunt, and shouted:
+
+"Happy Burfday!"
+
+Mr. Burton hurried to the rescue of his darling instrument while his
+wife gave each boy an appreciative kiss, and showed them a couple of
+grateful tears. Then her eye was caught by the fruit on the sideboard,
+and she read the cards aloud:
+
+"Mrs. Frank Rommery--this is like her effusiveness. I've never met her
+but once, but I suppose her bananas must atone for her lack of manners.
+Why, Charley Crewne! Dear me! What memories some men have!"
+
+A cloud came upon Mr. Burton's brow. Charlie Crewne had been one of his
+rivals for Miss Mayton's hand, and Mrs. Burton was looking a trifle
+thoughtful, and her husband was as unreasonable as newly-made husbands
+are sure to be, when Mrs. Burton exclaimed:
+
+"Some one has been picking the grapes off in the most shameful manner.
+Boys!"
+
+"_Ain't_ from no Rommerys an' Crewnes," said Toddie. "Theysh from me an'
+Budge, an' we dzust tasted 'em to see if they'd got sour in the night."
+
+"Where did the cards come from?" asked Mrs. Burton.
+
+"Out of the basket in the parlor," said Budge; "but the back is the nice
+part of 'em."
+
+Mrs. Burton's thoughtful expression and her husband's frown disappeared
+together, as they seated themselves at the table. Both boys wriggled
+rigorously until their aunt raised her plate, and then Budge exclaimed:
+
+"A penny for each year, you know."
+
+"Thirty-one!" exclaimed Mrs. Burton, after counting the heap. "How
+complimentary!"
+
+"What doesh you do for little boys on your bifeday?" asked Toddie, after
+breakfast was served. "Mamma does _lots_ of fings."
+
+"Yes," said Budge, "she says she thinks people ought to get their own
+happy by makin' other people happy. An' mamma knows better than you, you
+know, 'cause she's been married longest."
+
+Although Mrs. Burton admitted the facts, the inference seemed scarcely
+natural, and she said so.
+
+"Well--a--a--a--a--_any_how," said Toddie, "mamma always has parties on
+her bifeday, an' we hazh all the cake we want."
+
+"You shall be happy to-day, then," said Mrs. Burton; "for a few friends
+will be in to see me this afternoon, and I am going to have a nice
+little lunch for them, and you shall lunch with us, if you will be very
+good until then, and keep yourselves clean and neat."
+
+"Aw wight," said Toddie. "Izhn't it most time now?"
+
+"Tod's all stomach," said Budge, with some contempt. "Say, Aunt Alice, I
+hope you won't forget to have some fruit-cake. That's the kind _we_ like
+best."
+
+"You'll come home very early, Harry?" asked Mrs. Burton, ignoring her
+nephew's question.
+
+"By noon, at furthest," said the gentleman. "I only want to see my
+morning letters, and fill any orders that may be in them."
+
+"What are you coming so early for, Uncle Harry?" asked Budge.
+
+"To take Aunt Alice riding, old boy," said Mr. Burton.
+
+"Oh! just listen, Tod! Won't that be jolly? Uncle Harry's going to take
+us riding!"
+
+"I said I was going to take your Aunt Alice, Budge," said Mr. Burton.
+
+"I heard you," said Budge, "but that won't trouble us any. She always
+likes to talk to you better than she does to us. When are we going?"
+
+Mr. Burton asked his wife, in German, whether the Lawrence-Burton
+assurance was not charmingly natural, and Mrs. Burton answered in the
+same tongue that it was, but was none the less deserving of rebuke, and
+that she felt it to be her duty to tone it down in her nephews. Mr.
+Burton wished her joy of the attempt, and asked a number of searching
+questions about success already attained, until Mrs. Burton was glad to
+see Toddie come out of a brown study and hear him say:
+
+"I fink that placesh where the river is bwoke off izh the nicest
+placesh."
+
+"What _does_ the child mean?" asked his aunt.
+
+"Don't you know where we went last year, an' you stopped us from seein'
+how far we could hang over, Uncle Harry?" said Budge.
+
+"Oh--Passaic Falls!" exclaimed Mr. Burton.
+
+"Yes, that's it," said Budge.
+
+"Old riverzh bwoke wight in two there," said Toddie, "an' a piece of
+it's way up in the air, an' anuvver piece izh way down in big hole in
+the shtones. _That'sh_ where I want to go widin'."
+
+"Listen, Toddy," said Mrs. Burton. "We like to take you riding with us
+at most times, but _to-day_ we prefer to go alone. You and Budge will
+stay at home--we shan't be gone more than two hours."
+
+"Wantsh to go a-widin'!" exclaimed Toddie.
+
+"I know you do, dear, but you must wait until some other day," said the
+lady.
+
+"But I _wantsh_ to go," Toddie explained.
+
+"And I don't want you to, so you can't," said Mrs. Burton, in a tone
+which would reduce any reasonable person to hopelessness. But Toddie, in
+spite of manifest astonishment, remarked:
+
+"Wantsh to go a-widin'."
+
+"_Now_ the fight is on," murmured Mr. Burton to himself. Then he arose
+hastily from the table, and said:
+
+"I think I'll try to catch the earlier train, my dear, as I am coming
+back so soon."
+
+Mrs. Burton arose to bid her husband Good-by, and was kissed with
+more than usual tenderness, and then held at arm's length, while
+manly eyes looked into her own with an expression which she found
+untranslatable--for two hours at least. Mrs. Burton saw her husband
+fairly on his way, and then she returned to the dining-room, led Toddie
+into the parlor, took him upon her lap, wound her arms tenderly about
+him, and said:
+
+"Now, Toddie, dear, listen carefully to what Aunt Alice tells you. There
+are some reasons why you boys should not go with us to-day, and Aunt
+Alice means just what she says when she tells you you can't go with us.
+If you were to ask a hundred times it would not make the slightest bit
+of difference. You cannot go, and you must stop thinking about it."
+
+Toddie listened intelligently from beginning to end, and replied:
+
+"But I _wantsh_ to go."
+
+"And you can't. That ends the matter."
+
+"No, it don't," said Toddie, "not a single bittle. I wantsh to go badder
+than ever."
+
+"But you are not going."
+
+"I wantsh to go so baddy," said Toddy, beginning to cry.
+
+"I suppose you do, and auntie is very sorry for you," said Mr. Burton,
+kindly; "but that does not alter the case. When grown people say 'No!'
+little boys must understand that they mean it."
+
+"But what I wantsh izh to go a-widin' wif you," said Toddie.
+
+"And what _I_ want is, that you shall stay at home; so you must," said
+Mrs. Burton. Let us have no more talk about it now. Shouldn't you like
+to go into the garden and pick some strawberries all for yourself?"
+
+"No; I'd like to go widin'."
+
+"Toddie," said Mrs. Burton, "don't let me hear one more word about
+riding."
+
+"Well, I want to go."
+
+"Toddie, I will certainly have to punish you if you say any more on this
+subject, and that will make me very unhappy. You don't want to make
+auntie unhappy on her birthday, do you?"
+
+"No; but I do want to go a-widin'."
+
+"Listen Toddie," said Mrs. Burton, with an imperious stamp of her foot,
+and a sudden loss of her entire stock of patience. "If you say one more
+word about that trip, I will lock you up in the attic chamber, where you
+were day before yesterday, and Budge shall not be with you."
+
+[Illustration: TODDIE SUDDENLY FOUND HIMSELF CLASPED TIGHTLY IN HIS
+AUNT'S ARMS, IN WHICH POSITION HE KICKED, PUSHED, SCREAMED, AND ROARED,
+DURING THE PASSAGE OF TWO FLIGHTS OF STAIRS.]
+
+Toddie gave vent to a perfect torrent of tears, and screamed:
+
+"A--h--h--h! I don't want to be locked up, an' I do want to go
+a-widin'."
+
+Toddie suddenly found himself clasped tightly in his aunt's arms, in
+which position he kicked, pushed, screamed, and roared, during the
+passage of two flights of stairs. The moment of his final incarceration
+was marked by a piercing shriek which escaped from the attic window,
+causing the dog Jerry to retire precipitately from a pleasing
+lounging-place on the well-curb, and making a passing farmer to rein up
+his horses, and maintain a listening position for the space of five
+minutes. Meanwhile Mrs. Burton descended to the parlor, more flushed,
+untidy and angry than one had ever before seen her. She soon encountered
+the gaze of her nephew Budge, and it was so full of solemnity that Mrs.
+Burton's anger departed in an instant.
+
+"How would _you_ like to be carried up-stairs screamin' an' put in a
+lonely room, just 'cause you wanted to go riding?" asked Budge.
+
+Mrs. Burton was unable to imagine herself in any such position, but
+replied:
+
+"I should never be so foolish as to keep on wanting what I knew I could
+not have."
+
+"Why!" exclaimed Budge. "Are grown folks as smart, as all that?"
+
+Mrs. Burton's conscience smote her not over-lightly, and she hastened to
+change the subject, and to devote herself assiduously to Budge, as if to
+atone for some injury which she might have done to his brother. An
+occasional howl which fell from the attic-window increased her zeal for
+Budge's comfort. Under each one, however, her resolution grew weaker,
+and finally, with a hypocritical excuse to Budge, Mrs. Burton hurried up
+to the door of Toddie's prison, and said through the keyhole:
+
+"Toddie?"
+
+"What?" said Toddie.
+
+"Will you be a good-boy, now!"
+
+"Yesh, if you'll take me a-widin'."
+
+Mrs. Burton turned abruptly away, and simply flew down the stairs.
+Budge, who awaited her at the foot, instinctively stood aside, and
+exclaimed:
+
+"My! I thought you was goin' to tumble! Why didn't you bring him down?"
+
+"Bring who?" asked Mrs. Burton, indignantly.
+
+"Oh, _I_ know what you went up-stairs for?" said Budge. "Your eyes told
+me all about it."
+
+"You're certainly a rather inconvenient companion," said Mrs. Burton,
+averting her face, "and I want you to run home and ask how your mamma
+and baby-sister are. Don't stay long; remember that lunch will be
+earlier than usual to-day."
+
+Away went Budge, and Mrs. Burton devoted herself to thought and
+self-questioning. Unquestioning obedience had been her own duty since
+she could remember, yet she was certain that her will was as strong as
+Toddie's. If she had been always able to obey, certainly the unhappy
+little boy in the attic was equally capable--why should he not do it?
+Perhaps, she admitted to herself, she had inherited a faculty in this
+direction, and perhaps--yes, certainly, Toddie had done nothing of the
+sort. How was she to overcome the defect in his disposition; or was she
+to do it at all? Was it not something with which no one temporarily
+having a child in charge should interfere? As she pondered, an
+occasional scream from Toddie helped to unbend the severity of her
+principles, but suddenly her eye rested upon a picture of her husband,
+and she seemed to see in one of the eyes a quizzical expression. All her
+determination came back in an instant with heavy reinforcements, and
+Budge came back a few minutes later. His bulletins from home, and his
+stores of experiences _en route_ consumed but a few moments, and then
+Mrs. Burton proceeded to dress for her ride. To exclude Toddie's screams
+she closed her door tightly, but Toddie's voice was one with which all
+timber seemed in sympathy, and it pierced door and window apparently
+without effort. Gradually, however, it seemed to cease, and with the
+growing infrequency of his howls and the increasing feebleness of their
+utterance, Mrs. Burton's spirits revived. Dressing leisurely, she
+ascended Toddie's prison to receive his declaration of penitence and to
+accord a gracious pardon. She knocked softly at the door, and said:
+
+"Toddie?"
+
+There was no response, so Mrs. Burton knocked and called with more
+energy than before, but without reply. A terrible fear occurred to her!
+she had heard of children who screamed themselves to death when angry.
+Hastily she opened the door, and saw Toddie tear-stained and dirty,
+lying on the floor, fast asleep. She stooped over him to be sure that he
+still breathed, and then the expression on his sweetly parted lips was
+such that she could not help kissing them. Then she raised the pathetic,
+desolate little figure softly in her arms, and the little head dropped
+upon her shoulder and nestled close to her neck, and one little arm was
+clasped tightly around her throat, and a soft voice murmured:
+
+"I wantsh to go a'widin'."
+
+And just then Mr. Burton entered, and, with a most exasperating
+affection of ingenuousness and uncertainty, asked:
+
+"Did you conquer his will, my dear?"
+
+His wife annihilated him with a look, and led the way to the
+dining-room; meanwhile Toddie awoke, straightened himself, rubbed his
+eyes, recognized his uncle and exclaimed:
+
+"Uncle Harry, does you know where we's goin' this afternoon? We's goin'
+a-widin'."
+
+And Mr. Burton hid in his napkin all of his face that was below his
+eyes, and his wife wished that his eyes might have been hidden, too, for
+never in her life had she been so averse to having her own eyes looked
+into.
+
+The extreme saintliness of both boys during the afternoon's ride took
+the sting out of Mrs. Burton's defeat. They gabbled to each other about
+flowers and leaves and birds, and they assumed ownership of the few
+Summer clouds that were visible, and made sundry exchanges of them with
+each. When the dog Jerry, who had surreptitiously followed the carriage
+and grown weary, was taken in by his master, they even allowed him to
+lie at their feet without kicking, pinching his ears, or pulling his
+tail.
+
+As for Mrs. Burton, no right-minded husband could willfully torment his
+wife upon her birthday, so she soon forgot the humiliation of the
+morning, and came home with superb spirits and matchless complexion for
+the little party. Her guests soon began to arrive, and after the company
+was assembled Mrs. Burton's chambermaid ushered in Budge and Toddie,
+each in spotless attire, and the dog Jerry ushered himself in, and
+Toddie saw him and made haste to interview him, and the two got
+inextricably mixed about the legs of a light _jardiniere_, and it came
+down with a crash, and then the two were sent into disgrace, which
+suited them exactly; although there was a difference between them as to
+whether the dog Jerry should seek and enjoy the seclusion upon which his
+heart was evidently intent.
+
+Then Budge retired with a face full of fatherly solicitude, and Mrs.
+Burton was enabled to devote herself to the friends to whom she had not
+previously been able to address a single consecutive sentence.
+
+Mrs. Burton occasionally suggested to her husband that it might be well
+to see where the boys were, and what they were doing; but that gentleman
+had seldom before found himself the only man among a dozen comely and
+intelligent ladies, and he was too conscious of the variety of such
+experiences to trouble himself about a couple of people who had
+unlimited ability to keep themselves out of trouble; so the boys were
+undisturbed for the space of two hours. A sudden Summer shower came up
+in the meantime, and a sentimental young lady requested the song "Rain
+upon the Roof," and Mrs. Burton and her husband began to render it as a
+duet; but in the middle of the second stanza Mrs. Burton began to
+cough, Mr. Burton sniffed the air apprehensively, while several of the
+ladies started to their feet while others turned pale. The air of the
+room was evidently filled with smoke.
+
+"There can't be any danger, ladies," said Mrs. Burton. "You all know
+what the American domestic servant is. I suppose our cook, with her
+delicate sense of the appropriate, is relighting her fire, and has the
+kitchen doors wide open, so that all the smoke may escape through the
+house instead of the chimney. I'll go and stop it."
+
+The mere mention of servants had its usual effect; the ladies began at
+once that animated conversation which this subject has always inspired,
+and which it will probably continue to inspire until all housekeepers
+gather in that happy land, one of whose charms it is that the American
+kitchen is undiscernible within its borders, and the purified domestic
+may stand before her mistress without needing a scolding. But one
+nervous young lady, whose agitation was being manifested by her feet
+alone, happened to touch with the toe of her boot the turn-screw of the
+hot-air register. Instantly she sprang back and uttered a piercing
+scream, while from the register there arose a thick column of smoke.
+
+"Fire!" screamed one lady.
+
+"Water!" shrieked another.
+
+"Oh!" shouted several in chorus.
+
+Some ran up-stairs, others into the rainy street, the nervous young lady
+fainted, a business-like young matron, who had for years been maturing
+plans of operation in case of fire, hastily swept into a table-cover a
+dozen books in special morocco bindings, and hurried through the rain
+with them to a house several hundred feet away, while the faithful dog
+Jerry, scenting the trouble afar off, hurried home and did his duty to
+the best of his ability by barking and snapping furiously at every one,
+and galloping frantically through the house, leaving his mark upon
+almost every square yard of the carpet. Meanwhile Mr. Burton hurried
+up-stairs coatless, with disarranged hair, dirty hands, smirched face,
+and assured the ladies that there was no danger, while Budge and Toddie,
+the former deadly pale, and the latter almost apoplectic in color,
+sneaked up to their own chamber.
+
+The company dispersed: ladies who had expected carriages did not wait
+for them, but struggled to the extreme verge of politeness for the use
+of such umbrellas and waterproof-cloaks as Mrs. Burton could supply.
+Fifteen minutes later the only occupant of the parlor was the dog Jerry,
+who lay, with alert head, in the centre of a large "Turkish chair. Mrs.
+Burton, tenderly supported by her husband, descended the stair, and
+contemplated with tightly compressed lips and blazing eyes the disorder
+of her desolated parlor. When, however, she reached the dining-room and
+beheld the exquisitely-set lunch-table, to the arrangement of which she
+had devoted hours of thought in preceding days and weeks, she burst into
+a flood of tears.
+
+"I'll tell you how it was," remarked Budge, who appeared suddenly and
+without invitation, and whose consciousness of good intention made him
+as adamant before the indignant frowns of his uncle and aunt, "_I_
+always think bonfires is the nicest things about celebrations, an' Tod
+an' me have been carryin' sticks for two days to make a big bonfire in
+the back yard to-day. But then it rained, an' rainy sticks won't burn--I
+_guess_ we found that out last Thanksgivin' Day. So we thought we'd make
+one in the cellar, 'cause the top is all tin, an' the bottom's all dirt,
+an' it can't rain in there at all. An' we got lots of newspapers and
+kindlin'-wood, an' put some kerosene on it, an' it blazed up beautiful,
+an' we was just comin' up to ask you all down to look at it, when in
+came Uncle Harry, an' banged me against the wall an' Tod into the
+coal-heap, an' threw a mean old dirty carpet on top of it, an' wet'ed it
+all over."
+
+"Little boysh never _can_ do anyfing nysh wivout bein' made to don't,"
+said Toddie. "Dzust see what an awful big splinter I got in my hand when
+I was froin' wood on the fire! I didn't cry a _bit_ about it then,
+'cause I fought I was makin' uvver folks happy, like the Lord wants
+little boysh to. But they didn't _get_ happy, so now I _am_ goin' to cry
+'bout the splinter!"
+
+And Toddie raised a howl which was as much superior to his usual cry as
+things made to order generally are over the ordinary supply.
+
+"We had a torchlight procession, too," said Budge. "We had to have it in
+the attic, but it wasn't very nice. There wasn't any trees up there for
+the light to dance around on, like it does on 'lection-day nights. So we
+just stopped, an' would have felt real doleful if we hadn't thought of
+the bonfire."
+
+"Where did you leave the torches?" asked Mr. Burton, springing from his
+chair, and lifting his wife to her feet at the same time.
+
+"I--I dunno," said Budge, after a moment of thought.
+
+"Froed 'em in a closet where the rags is, so's not to dyty the nice
+floor wif 'em," said Toddie.
+
+Mr. Burton hurried up-stairs and extinguished a smoldering heap of rags,
+while his wife, truer to herself than she imagined she was, drew Budge
+to her, and said, kindly:
+
+"_Wanting_ to make people happy, and _doing_ it are two very different
+things, Budge."
+
+"Yes, I should think they was," said Budge, with an emphasis which
+explained much that was left unsaid.
+
+"Little boysh is goosies for tryin' to make big folksh happy at all,"
+said Toddie, beginning again to cry.
+
+"Oh, no, they're not, dear," said Mrs. Burton, taking the sorrowful
+child into her lap. "But they don't always understand how best to do it,
+so they ought to ask big folks before they begin."
+
+"Then there wouldn't be no s'prises," complained Toddie. "Say; izh we
+goin' to eat all this supper?"
+
+"I suppose so, if we can," sighed Mrs. Burton.
+
+"I _guesh_ we can--Budgie an' me," said Toddie. "An' _won't_ we be glad
+all them wimmens wented away!"
+
+That evening, after the boys had retired, Mrs. Burton seemed a little
+uneasy of mind, and at length she said to her husband:
+
+"I feel guilty at never having directed the boys' devotions since they
+have been here, and I know no better time than the present in which to
+begin."
+
+Mr. Burton's eyes followed his wife reverently as she left the room. The
+service she proposed to render the children she had sometimes performed
+for himself, with results for which he could not be grateful enough, and
+yet it was not with unalloyed anticipation that he softly followed her
+up the stair. Mrs. Burton went into the chamber and found the boys
+playing battering-ram, each with a pillow in front of him.
+
+"Children," said she, "have you said your prayers?"
+
+"No," said Budge; "somebody's got to be knocked down first. _Then_ we
+will."
+
+A sudden tumble by Toddie was the signal for devotional exercises, and
+both boys knelt beside the bed.
+
+"Now, darlings," said Mrs. Burton, "you have made some sad mistakes
+to-day, and they should teach you that, even when you want most to do
+right, you need to be helped by somebody better. Don't you think so?"
+
+"_I_ do," said Budge. "Lots."
+
+"_I_ don't," said Toddie. "More help I getsh, the worse fings is. Guesh
+I'll do fings all alone affer thish."
+
+"I know what to say to the Lord to-night, Aunt Alice," said Budge.
+
+"_Dear_ little boy," said Mrs. Burton, "go on."
+
+"Dear Lord," said Budge, "we _do_ have the _awfullest_ times when we try
+to make other folks happy. _Do_, please, Lord--please teach big folks
+how hard little folks have to think before they do things for 'em. An'
+make 'em understand little folks _every_ way better than they do, so
+that they don't make little folks unhappy when they try to make big
+folks feel jolly. Make big folks have to think as hard as little folks
+do, for Christ's sake--Amen! Oh, yes, an' bless dear mamma an' the
+sweet little sister baby. How's that, Aunt Alice?"
+
+Mrs. Burton did not reply, and Budge, on turning, saw only her departing
+figure, while Toddie remarked:
+
+"Now, it's _my_ tyne (turn.) Dear Lord, when I getsh to be a little boy
+anzel up in hebben, don't let growed-up anzels come along whenever I'm
+doin' anyfing nice for 'em, an' say '_don't_,' or tumble me down in
+heaps of nashty old black coal. _There_! Amen!"
+
+It was with a sneaking sense of relief that Mrs. Burton awoke on the
+following morning, and realized that the day was Sunday. Even
+schoolteachers have two days of rest in every seven, thought Mrs. Burton
+to herself, and no one doubts that they deserve them. How much more
+deserving of rest and relief, then, must be the volunteer teacher who,
+not for a few hours only, but from dawn to twilight, has charge of two
+children whose capacity for both learning and mischief, surely equals
+any school-full of boys? The realization that she was attempting, for a
+few days only, that which mothers everywhere were doing without hope of
+rest excepting in heaven, made Mrs. Burton feel more humble and
+worthless than she had ever done in her life before, but it did not
+banish her wish to turn the children over to the care of their uncle for
+the day. If Mrs. Burton had been honest with herself she would have
+admitted that the principal cause of her anxiety for relief was her
+unwillingness to have her husband witness the failures which she had
+come to believe were to be her daily lot while trying to train her
+nephews. Thoughts of a Sunday excursion, from participation in which she
+should in some way excuse herself; of volunteering to relieve her
+sister-in-law's nurse during the day, and thus leaving her husband in
+charge of the house and the children; of making that visit to her mother
+which is always in order with the newly-made wife--all these, and other
+devices not so practicable, came before Mrs. Burton's mind's eye for
+comparison, but they all and together took sudden wing when Mr. Burton
+awoke and complained of a raging toothache. Truly pitiful and
+sympathetic as Mrs. Burton was, she exhibited remarkable resignation in
+the face of the thought that her husband would probably need to remain
+in his room all day, and that it would be absolutely necessary to keep
+the children out of his sight and hearing. Then he could find nothing to
+criticise; she might fail as frequently as she probably would, but he
+would know only of her successes.
+
+A light knock was heard at Mrs. Burton's door, and then, without waiting
+for invitation, there came in two fresh, rosy faces, two heads of
+disarranged hair, and two long white nightgowns, and the occupant of the
+longer gown exclaimed:
+
+"Say, Uncle Harry, do you know it's Sunday? What are you going to do
+about it? We always have lots done for us Sundays, 'cause it's the only
+day papa's home."
+
+"Yes, I--think I've heard--something of the kind--before," mumbled Mr.
+Burton, with difficulty, between the fingers which covered his aching
+incisor.
+
+"Oh--h," exclaimed Toddie, "I b'lieve he' goin' to play bear! Come on,
+Budge, we's got to be dogs." And Toddie buried his face in the
+bed-covering and succeeded in fastening his teeth in his uncle's calf. A
+howl from the sufferer did not frighten off the amateur dog, and he was
+finally dislodged only by being clutched by the throat by his victim.
+
+"_That_ izhn't the way to play bear," complained Toddie; "you ought to
+keep on a-howlin' an' let me keep on a-bitin', an' then you give me
+pennies to stop--that's the way papa does."
+
+"_Can_ you see how Tom Lawrence can be so idiotic?" asked Mrs. Burton.
+
+"I suppose I could," replied the gentleman, "if I hadn't such a
+toothache."
+
+"You poor old fellow!" said Mrs. Burton, tenderly. Then she turned to
+her nephews, and exclaimed: "Now, boys, listen to me! Uncle Harry is
+very sick to-day--he has a dreadful toothache, and every particle of
+bother and noise will make it worse. You must both keep away from his
+room, and be as quiet as possible wherever you may be in the house. Even
+the sound of people talking is very annoying to a person with the
+toothache."
+
+"Then you's a baddy woman to stay in here an' keep a-talkin' all the
+whole time," said Toddie, "when it makes poor old Uncle Harry supper so.
+G'way."
+
+Mrs. Burton's lord and master was not in too much pain to shake
+considerably with silent laughter over this unexpected rebuke, and the
+lady herself was too thoroughly startled to devise an appropriate
+retort; so the boys amused themselves by a general exploration of the
+chamber, not omitting even the pockets of their uncle's clothing. This
+work completed, to the full extent of their ability, the boys demanded
+breakfast.
+
+"Breakfast won't be ready until eight o'clock," said Mrs. Burton, "and
+it is now only six. If you little boys don't want to feel dreadfully
+hungry, you had better go back to bed, and lie as quiet as possible."
+
+"Is that the way not to be hungry?" asked Toddie, with wide-open eyes,
+which always accompany the receptive mind.
+
+"Certainly," said Mrs. Burton. "If you run about, you agitate your
+stomachs, and that makes them restless, and so you feel hungry."
+
+"Gwacious!" said Toddie. "What lots of fings little boys has got to lyne
+(learn), hazn't they? Come on, Budgie--let's go put our tummuks to bed,
+an' keep 'em from gettin' ajjerytated."
+
+"All right," said Budge. "But say, Aunt Alice, don't you s'pose our
+stomachs would be sleepier an' not so restless if there was some
+crackers or bread an' butter in 'em?"
+
+"There's no one down-stairs to get you any," said Mrs. Burton.
+
+"Oh," said Budge, "_we_ can find them. We know where everything is in
+the pantries and store-room."
+
+"_I_ wish _I_ were so smart," sighed Mrs Burton. "Go along--get what you
+want--but don't come back to this room again. And don't let me find
+anything in disorder down-stairs, or I shall never trust you in my
+kitchen again."
+
+Away flew the children, but their disappearance only made room for a new
+torment, for Mr. Burton stopped in the middle of the operation of
+shaving himself, and remarked:
+
+"I've been longing for Sunday to come, for your sake, my dear. The boys,
+as you have frequently observed, have very strange notions about holy
+things; but they are also, by nature, quite religious and spiritually
+minded. _You_ are not only this latter, but you are free from strange
+doctrines and the traditions of men. The mystical influences of the day
+will make themselves felt upon those innocent little hearts, and you
+will have the opportunity to correct wrong teachings and instil new
+sentiments and truths."
+
+Mr. Burton's voice had grown a little shaky as he reached the close of
+this neat and reverential speech, so that his wife scrutinized his face
+closely to see if there might not be a laugh somewhere about it. A
+friendly coating of lather protected one cheek, however, and the
+troublesome tooth had distorted the shape of the other, so Mrs. Burton
+was compelled to accept the mingled ascription of praise and
+responsibility, which she did with a sinking heart.
+
+"I'll take care of them while you're at church, my dear," said Mr.
+Burton; "they're always saintly with sick people."
+
+Mrs. Burton breathed a sigh of relief. She determined that she would
+extemporize a special "Children's service" immediately after breakfast,
+and impress her nephews as fully as possible with the spirit of the day;
+then if her husband would but continue the good work thus begun, it
+would be impossible for the boys to fall from grace in the few hours
+which remained between dinner-time and darkness. Full of her project,
+and forgetting that she had allowed her chambermaid to go to early Mass
+and promised herself to see that the children were dressed for
+breakfast, Mrs. Burton, at the breakfast-table, noticed that her nephews
+did not respond with their usual alacrity to the call of the bell.
+Recalling her forgotten duty, she hurried to the boys' chamber, and
+found them already enjoying a repast which was remarkable at least for
+variety. On a small table, drawn to the side of the bed, was a pie, a
+bowl of pickles, a dish of honey in the comb, and a small paper package
+of cinnamon bark, and, with spoons, knives and forks and fingers, the
+boys were helping themselves alternately to these delicacies. Seeing his
+aunt, Toddie looked rather guilty, but Budge displayed the smile of the
+fully justified, and remarked:
+
+"Now, you know what kind of meals little boys like, Aunt Alice. I hope
+you won't forget it while we're here."
+
+"What do you mean!" exclaimed Mrs. Burton, sternly, "by bringing such
+things up-stairs?"
+
+"Why," said Budge, "you told us to get what we wanted, an' we supposed
+you told the troof."
+
+"An' I ain't azh hungry azh I wazh," remarked Toddie, "but my tummuk
+feels as if it growed big and got little again, every minute or two, an'
+it hurts. I wishes we could put tummuks away when we get done usin' 'em,
+like we do hats an' overshoes."
+
+To sweep the remains of the unique morning lunch into a heap and away
+from her nephews, was a work which occupied but a second or two of Mrs.
+Burton's time; this done, two little boys found themselves robed more
+rapidly than they had ever before been. Arrived at the breakfast-table,
+they eyed with withering contempt an irreproachable cutlet, some
+crisp-brown potatoes of wafer-like thinness, and a heap of rolls almost
+as light as snowflakes.
+
+"_We_ don't want done of _this_ kind of breakfast," said Budge.
+
+"Of course we don't," said Toddie, "when we's so awful full of uvver
+fings. I don't know where I'zhe goin' to put my _dinner_ when it comes
+time to eat it."
+
+"Don't fret about _that_, Tod," said Budge. "Don't you know papa says
+that the Bible says something that means 'don't worry till you have
+to.'"
+
+Mrs. Burton raised her eyebrows with horror not unmixed with inquiry,
+and her husband hastened to give Budge's sentiment its proper Biblical
+wording. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof." Mrs. Burton's
+wonder was allayed by the explanation, although her horror was not, and
+she made haste to say:
+
+"Boys, we will have a little Sunday-school, all by ourselves, in the
+parlor, immediately after breakfast."
+
+"Hooray!" shouted Budge. "An' will you give us a ticket an' pass around
+a box for pennies, just like they do in _big_ Sunday-schools?"
+
+"I--suppose so," said Mrs. Burton, who had not previously thought of
+these special attractions of the successful Sunday-school.
+
+"Let's go right in, Tod," said Budge,"'cause the dog's in there. I saw
+him as I came down, and I shut all the doors, so he couldn't get out. We
+can have some fun with him 'fore Sunday-school begins."
+
+Both boys started for the parlor-door, and, guided by that marvelous
+instinct with which Providence arms the few against the many, and the
+weak against the strong, the dog Jerry also approached the door from the
+inside. As the door opened, there was heard a convulsive howl, and a
+general tumbling of small boys, while at almost the same instant the dog
+Jerry flew into the dining-room and hid himself in the folds of his
+mistress's morning-robe. Two or three minutes later Budge entered the
+dining-room with a very rueful countenance, and remarked:
+
+"I guess we need that Sunday-school pretty quick, Aunt Alice. The dog
+don't want to play with us, and we ought to be comforted some way."
+
+"They're grown people, all over again," remarked Mr. Burton, with a
+laugh.
+
+"What do you mean?" demanded Mrs. Burton.
+
+[Illustration: TODDIE LOOKED RATHER GUILTY, BUT BUDGE DISPLAYED THE
+SMILE OF THE FULLY JUSTIFIED, AND REMARKED: "NOW YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF
+MEALS LITTLE BOYS LIKE, AUNT ALICE."]
+
+"Only this--that when their own devices fail, they're in a hurry for
+the consolations of religion," said Mr. Burton. "May I visit the
+Sunday-school?"
+
+"I suppose I can't keep you away," sighed Mrs. Burton, leading the way
+to the parlor. "Boys," said she, greeting her nephews, "first, we'll
+sing a little hymn; what shall it be?"
+
+"Ole Uncle Ned," said Toddie, promptly.
+
+"Oh, that's not a Sunday song," said Mrs. Burton.
+
+"_I_ fink tizh," said Toddie, "'cause it sayzh, free or four timezh,
+'He's gone where de good niggers go,' an' that's _hebben_, you know; so
+it's a Sunday song."
+
+"_I_ think 'Glory, glory, hallelujah!' is nicer," said Budge, "an' I
+know _that's_ a Sunday song, 'cause I've heard it in church."
+
+"Aw wight," said Toddie; and he immediately started the old air himself,
+with the words, "There liezh the whisky-bottle, empty on the sheff," but
+was suddenly brought to order by a shake from his aunt, while his uncle
+danced about the front parlor in an ecstasy not directly traceable to
+toothache.
+
+"That's not a Sunday song either, Toddie," said Mrs. Burton. "The words
+are real rowdyish. Where did you learn them?"
+
+"Round the corner from our housh," said Toddie, "an' you can shing your
+ole shongs yourseff, if you don't like mine."
+
+Mrs. Burton went to the piano, rambled among chords for a few seconds,
+and finally recalled a Sunday-school air in which Toddie joined as
+angelically as if his own musical taste had never been impugned.
+
+"Now I guess we'd better take up the collection before any little boys
+lose their pennies," said Budge, hurrying to the dining-room, and
+returning with a strawberry-box which seemed to have been specially
+provided for the occasion; this he passed gravely before Toddie, and
+Toddie held his hand over it as carefully as if he were depositing
+hundreds, and then Toddie took the box and passed it before Budge, who
+made the same dumb show, after which Budge retook the box, shook it,
+listened, and remarked, "It don't rattle--I guess it's all paper-money,
+to-day," placed it upon the mantel, reseated himself, and remarked:
+
+"_Now_ bring on your lesson."
+
+Mrs. Burton opened her Bible with a sense of utter helplessness. With
+the natural instinct of a person given to thoroughness, she opened at
+the beginning of the book, but she speedily closed it again--the first
+chapter of Genesis had suggested many a puzzling question even to her
+orthodox mind. Turning the leaves rapidly, passing, for conscience sake,
+the record of many a battle, the details of which would have delighted
+the boys, and hurrying by the prophecies as records not for the minds of
+children, she at last reached the New Testament, and the ever-new story
+of the only boy who ever was all that his parents and relatives could
+wish him to be.
+
+"The lesson will be about Jesus," said Mrs. Burton."
+
+"Little-boy Jesus or big-man Jesus?" asked Toddie.
+
+"A--a--both," replied the teacher, in some confusion.
+
+"Aw wight," said Toddie. "G'won."
+
+"There was once a time when all the world was in trouble, without
+knowing exactly why," said Mrs. Burton; "but the Lord understood it, for
+He understands everything."
+
+"Does He knows how it feels to be a little boy?" asked Toddie, "an' be
+sent to bed when He don't want to go?"
+
+"And He determined to comfort the world, as He always does when the
+world finds out it can't comfort itself," continued Mrs. Burton,
+entirely ignoring her nephew's questions.
+
+"But wasn't there lotzh of little boyzh then?" asked Toddie, "an' didn't
+they used to be comforted as well as big folks?"
+
+"I suppose so," said Mrs. Burton. "But He knew if He comforted grown
+people, they would make the children happy."
+
+"I wiss He'd comfort you an' Uncle Harry every mornin', then," said
+Toddie. "G'won."
+
+"So He sent His own Son--his only Son--down to the world to be a dear
+little baby."
+
+"_I_ should think He'd have made Him a _sister_ baby," said Budge, "if
+He'd wanted to make everybody happy."
+
+"He knew best," said Mrs. Burton. "And while smart people everywhere
+were wondering what would or could happen to quiet the restless heart of
+people--"
+
+"Izh restless hearts like restless tummuks?" interrupted Toddie. "Kind
+o' limpy an' wabbley?"
+
+"I suppose so," said Mrs. Burton.
+
+"_Poor_ folks," said Toddie clasping, his hands over his waistband:
+"Izhe sorry for 'em."
+
+"While smart folks were trying to think out what should be done,"
+continued Mrs. Burton, "some simple shepherds, who used to sit around at
+night under the moon and stars, and wonder about things which they could
+not understand, saw a wonderfully bright star up in the sky."
+
+"Was it one of the twinkle-twinkle kind, or one of the stand-still
+kind?" asked Toddie.
+
+"I don't know," said Mrs. Burton, after a moment's reflection. "Why do
+you ask?"
+
+"'Cauzh," said Toddie, "I know what 'twazh there for, an' it ought to
+have twinkled, 'cauzh twinkley star bobs open and shut that way 'cauzh
+they're laughin' and can't keep still, an' I know I'd have laughed if
+I'd been a star an' was goin' to make a lot of folks so awful happy.
+G'won."
+
+"Then," said Mrs. Burton, looking alternately and frequently at the two
+accounts of the Advent, "they suddenly saw an angel, and the shepherds
+were afraid."
+
+"Should fink they _would_ be," said Toddie. "Everybody gets afraid when
+they see good people around. I 'spec' they thought the angel would say
+'don't!' in about a minute."
+
+"But the angel told them not to be afraid," said Mrs. Burton, "for he
+had come to bring good news. There was to be a dear little baby born at
+Bethlehem, and He would make everybody happy."
+
+"_Wouldn't_ it be nice if that angel would come an' do it all over
+again?" said Budge. "Only he ought to pick out little boys instead of
+sheep fellows. _I_ wouldn't be afraid of an angel."
+
+"Neiver would I," said Toddie, "but I dzust go round behind him an' see
+how his wings was fastened on."
+
+"Then a great many other angels came," said Mrs. Burton, "and they all
+sang and sang together. The poor shepherds didn't know what to make of
+it, but after the singing was over, they all started for Bethlehem, to
+see that wonderful baby."
+
+"Just like the other day we went to see the sister-baby."
+
+"Yes," said Mrs. Burton; but instead of finding Him in a pleasant home
+and a nice room, with careful friends and nurses around Him, He was in a
+manger out in a stable."
+
+"That was 'cause he was so smart that He could do just what He wanted
+to, an' be just where he liked," said Budge, "an' He was a little boy,
+an' little boys always like stables better than houses--I wish _I_ could
+live in a stable always an' for ever."
+
+"So do I," said Toddie, "an' sleep in mangers, 'cauzh then the horses
+would kick anybody that made me put on clean clothezh when I didn't want
+to. They gaveded him presentsh, didn't they?"
+
+"Yes," said Mrs. Burton; "gold, frankincense, and myrrh."
+
+"Why didn't they give him rattles and squealey-balls, like folks did
+budder Phillie when _he_ was a baby," asked Toddie.
+
+"Because, Toddie," said Mrs. Burton, glad of an opportunity to get the
+sentiment of the story into her own hands, from which it had departed
+very early in the course of the lesson--"because He was no common baby,
+like other children. He was the Lord."
+
+"What! The Lord once a dear little baby?" exclaimed Toddie.
+
+"Yes," replied Mrs. Burton, shuddering to realize that Toddie had not
+before been taught of the nature of the Holy Trinity.
+
+"An' played around like uvver little boysh?" continued Toddie.
+
+"I--I--suppose so," said Mrs. Burton, fearing lest in trying to instill
+reverence into her nephews, she herself might prove irreverent.
+
+"Did somebody say 'Don't' at _Him_ every time he did anyfing?" continued
+Toddie.
+
+"N--n--n--o! I imagine not," said Mrs. Burton, "because he was always
+good."
+
+"_That_ don't make any diffwelence," said Toddie. "The better a little
+boy triesh to be, the more folks say 'Don't' to him. So I guesh nobody
+had any time to say anyfing elsh at all to Jesus."
+
+"What did He do next?" asked Budge, as deeply interested as if he had
+not heard the same story many times before.
+
+"He grew strong in body and spirit," said Mrs. Burton, "and everybody
+loved Him; but before He had time to do all that, an angel came and
+frightened His papa in a dream, and told him that the king of that
+country would kill little Jesus if he could find Him. So Joseph, the
+papa of Jesus, and Mary, His mamma, got up in the middle of the night,
+and started off to Egypt."
+
+"Seems to me that Egypt was 'bout as bad in those days as Europe is
+now," remarked Budge. "Whenever papa tells about anybody that nobody can
+find, he says, 'Gone to Europe, I s'pose.' What did they find when they
+got there?"
+
+"I don't know," said Mrs. Burton, musing. "I suppose the papa worked
+hard for money to buy good food and comfortable resting-places for his
+wife and baby; and I suppose the mamma walked about the fields, and
+picked pretty flowers for her baby to play with; and I suppose the baby
+cooed when His mamma gave them to Him, and laughed and danced and
+played, and then got tired, and came and hid His little face in His
+mamma's lap, and was taken into her arms and held ever so tight, and
+fell asleep, and that His mother looked into His face as if she would
+look through it, while she tried to find out what her baby would be and
+do when He grew up, and whether He would be taken away from _her_, while
+it seemed as if she couldn't live at all without having Him very closely
+pressed to her breast and--"
+
+Mrs. Burton's voice grew a little shaky, and, finally, failed her
+entirely. Budge came in front of her, scrutinized her intently, but with
+great sympathy, also, and, finally, leaned his elbows on her knees,
+dropped his face into his own hands, looked up into her face, and
+remarked:
+
+"Why, Aunt Alice, she was just like _my_ mamma, wasn't she? An' I think
+_you_ are just like both of 'em!"
+
+Mrs. Burton took Budge hastily into her arms, covered his face with
+kisses, and totally destroyed another chance of explaining the
+difference between the earthly and the heavenly to her pupils, while
+Toddie eyed the couple with evident disfavor, and remarked:
+
+"_I_ fink 'twould be nicer if you'd see if dinner was bein' got ready,
+instead of stoppin' tellin' stories an' huggin' Budge. My tummuk's all
+gotted little again."
+
+Mrs. Burton came back to the world of to-day from that of history,
+though not without a sigh, while the dog Jerry, who had divined the
+peaceful nature of the occasion so far as to feel justified in reclining
+beneath his mistress's chair, now contracted himself into the smallest
+possible space, slunk out of the doorway, and took a lively quickstep in
+the direction of the shrubbery. Toddie had seen him, however, and told
+the news to Budge, and both boys were soon in pursuit; noticing which
+the dog Jerry speedily betook himself to that distant retirement which
+the dog who has experience in small boys knows so well how to discover
+and maintain.
+
+As the morning wore on, the boys grew restless, fought, drummed on the
+piano, snarled when that instrument was closed, meddled with everything
+that was within reach, and finally grew so troublesome that their aunt
+soon felt that to lose was cheaper than to save, so she left the house
+to the children, and sought the side of the lounge upon which her
+afflicted husband reclined. The divining sense of childhood soon found
+her out, however, and Budge remarked:
+
+"Aunt Alice, if you're going to church, seems to me it's time you was
+getting ready."
+
+"I can't go to church, Budge," sighed Mrs. Burton. "If I do, you boys
+will only turn the whole house upside down, and drive your poor uncle
+nearly crazy."
+
+"No, we won't," said Budge. "You don't know what nice nurses we can be
+to sick people. _Papa_ says nobody can even _imagine_ how well we can
+take care of anybody until they see us do it. If you don't believe it,
+just leave us with Uncle Harry, an' stay home from church an' peek
+through the key-hole."
+
+"Go on, Allie," said Mr. Burton. "If you want to go to church, don't be
+afraid to leave me. I think you _should_ go--after your experience of
+this morning. I shouldn't think your mind could be at peace until you
+had joined your voice with that of the great congregation, and
+acknowledged yourself to be a miserable sinner."
+
+Mrs. Burton winced, but nevertheless retired, and soon appeared dressed
+for church, kissed her husband and her nephews, gave many last
+instructions, and departed. Budge followed her with his eye until she
+had stepped from the piazza, and then remarked, with a sigh of relief:
+
+"_Now_ I guess we'll have what papa calls a good, old-fashioned
+time--we've got rid of _her_."
+
+"Budge!" exclaimed Mr. Burton, sternly, and springing to his feet, "do
+you know who you are talking about? Don't you know that your Aunt Alice
+is my wife, and that she has saved you from many a scolding, done you
+many a favor, and been your best friend?"
+
+"Oh, yes," said Budge, with at least a dozen inflections on each word,
+"but ev'ry day friends an' Sunday friends are kind o' different; don't
+you think so? _She_ can't make whistles, or catch bull-frogs, or carry
+both of us up the mountain on her shoulders, or sing 'Roll, Jordan.'"
+
+"And do you expect _me_ to do all these things to-day?" asked Mr.
+Burton.
+
+"N--n--no," said Budge, "unless you should get well an' feel just like
+it; but we'd like to be with somebody who _could_ do 'em if he wanted
+to. We like ladies that's _all_ ladies, but then we like men that's all
+men, too. Aunt Alice is a good deal like an angel, I think, and you--you
+_ain't_. An' we don't want to be with angels all the time until we're
+angels ourselves."
+
+Mr. Burton turned over suddenly and contemplated the back of the lounge
+at this honest avowal of one of humanity's prominent weaknesses, while
+Budge continued:
+
+"We don't want _you_ to get to be an angel, so what I want to know is,
+how to make you well. Don't you think if I borrowed papa's horse and
+carriage an' took you ridin' you'd feel better? I know he'd lend 'em to
+me if I told him you were goin' to drive."
+
+"And if you said you were going with me to take care of me?" suggested
+Mr. Burton.
+
+"Y--e--es," said Budge, as hesitatingly as if such an idea had never
+occurred to him. "An' don't you think that up to the top of the
+Hawksnest Rock an' out to Passaic Falls would be the nicest places for a
+sick man to go? When you got tired of ridin' you could stop the carriage
+an' cut us a cane, or make us whistles, or find us pfingster apples (the
+seed-balls of the wild azalea), or even send us in swimming in a brook
+somewhere if you got tired of us."
+
+"H'm!" grunted Mr. Burton.
+
+"An' you might take fings to eat wif you," suggested Toddie, "an' when
+you got real tired and felt bad, you might stop and have a little
+picnic. I fink that would be dzust the fing for a man wif the toothache.
+And we could help you lotsh."
+
+"I'll see how I feel after dinner," said Mr. Burton. "But what are you
+going to do for me between now and then, to make me feel better?"
+
+"We tell you storiezh," said Toddie. "_Them's_ what sick folks alwayzh
+likesh."
+
+"Very well," said Mr. Burton. "Begin right away."
+
+"Aw wight," said Toddie. "Do you want a sad story or a d'zolly one?"
+
+"Anything," said Mr. Burton. "Men with the toothache can stand nearly
+anything. Don't draw on your imagination _too_ hard."
+
+"Don't _never_ draw on madzinasuns," said Toddie; "I only draws on
+slatesh."
+
+"Never mind; give us the story."
+
+"Well," said Toddie, seating himself in a rocking-chair, and fixing his
+eyes on the ceiling, "guesh I'll tell about AbrahammynIsaac. Onesh the
+Lord told a man named Abraham to go up the mountain an' chop his little
+boy's froat open an' burn him up on a naltar. So Abraham started to go
+to do it. An' he made his little boy Isaac, that he was going to chop
+and burn up carry the kindlin' wood he was goin' to set him a-fire wiz.
+An' I want to know if you fink that wazh very nysh of him?"
+
+"Well,--no," said Mr. Burton.
+
+"Tell you what," said Budge, "you don't ever catch _me_ carryin' sticks
+up the mountain, even if my papa wants me to."
+
+"When they got up there," said Toddie, "Abraham made a naltar an' put
+little Ikey on it, an' took a knife an' was goin' to chop his froat
+open, when a andzel came out of hebben an' said: 'Stop a-doin' that.' So
+Abraham stopped, an' Ikey skooted; an' Abraham saw a sheep caught in the
+bushes, an' he caught _him_ an' killed him. He wasn't goin' to climb way
+up a mountain to kill somebody an' not have his knife bluggy a bit. An'
+he burned the sheep up. An' then he went home again."
+
+"I'll bet you Isaac's mamma never knew what his papa wanted to do with
+him," said Budge, "or she'd never let her little boy go away in the
+mornin'. Do you want to bet?"
+
+"N--no, not on Sunday, I guess," said Mr. Burton. "Now, suppose you
+little boys go out of doors and play for a while, while uncle tries to
+get a nap."
+
+The boys accepted the suggestion and disappeared. Half an hour later, as
+Mrs. Burton was walking home from church under escort of old General
+Porcupine, and enduring with saintly fortitude the general's compliments
+upon her management of the children, there came screams of fear and
+anguish from the general's own grounds, which the couple were passing.
+
+"Who can that be?" exclaimed the general, his short hairs bristling like
+the quills of his titular godfather. "_We_ have no children."
+
+"I--think I know the voices," gasped Mrs. Burton, turning pale.
+
+"Bless my soul!" exclaimed the general, with an accent which showed that
+he was wishing the reverse of blessings upon souls less needy than his
+own. "You don't mean--"
+
+"Oh, I do!" said Mrs. Burton, wringing her hands. "Do hurry!"
+
+The general puffed and snorted up his gravel walk and toward the
+shrubbery, behind which was a fish-pond, from which direction the sound
+came. Mrs. Burton followed, in time to see her nephew Budge help his
+brother out of the pond, while the general tugged at a large crawfish
+which had fastened its claw upon Toddie's finger. The fish was game,
+but, with a mighty pull from the general, and a superhuman shriek from
+Toddie, the fish's claw and body parted company, and the general, still
+holding the latter tightly, staggered backward, and himself fell into
+the pond.
+
+"Ow--ow--ow!" howled Toddie, clasping the skirt of his aunt's mauve silk
+in a ruinous embrace, while the general floundered and snorted like a
+whale in dying agonies, and Budge laughed as merrily as if the whole
+scene had been provided especially for his entertainment. Mrs. Burton
+hurried her nephews away, forgetting, in her mortification, to thank the
+general for his service, and placing a hand over Toddie's mouth.
+
+"It hurts," mumbled Toddie.
+
+"What did you touch the fish at all for?" asked Mrs. Burton.
+
+"It was a little baby-lobster," sobbed Toddie; "an' I loves little
+babies--all kinds of 'em--an' I wanted to pet him. An' then I wanted to
+grop him."
+
+"Why didn't you do it, then?" demanded the lady.
+
+"'Cauze he wouldn't grop," said Toddie; "he isn't all gropped yet."
+
+True enough, the claw of the fish still hung at Toddie's finger, and
+Mrs. Burton spoiled a pair of four-button kids in detaching it, while
+Budge continued to laugh. At length, however, mirth gave place to
+brotherly love, and Budge tenderly remarked:
+
+"Toddie, dear, don't you love Brother Budge?"
+
+"Yesh," sobbed Toddie.
+
+"Then you ought to be happy," said Budge, "for you've made _him_ awful
+happy. If the fish hadn't caught you, the general couldn't have pulled
+him off, an' then he wouldn't have tumbled into the pond, an' oh,
+my!--_didn't_ he splash bully!"
+
+"Then _you's_ got to be bited with a fiss," said Toddie, "an' make him
+tumble in again, for _me_ to laugh 'bout."
+
+"You're two naughty boys," said Mrs. Burton. "Is this the way you take
+care of your sick uncle?"
+
+"_Did_ take care of him," exclaimed Toddie; "told him a lovely Bible
+story, an' you didn't, an' he wouldn't have had no Sunday at all if I
+hadn't done it. An' we's goin' to take him widin' this afternoon."
+
+Mrs. Burton hurried home, but it seemed to her that she had never met so
+many inquiring acquaintances during so short a walk. Arrived at last,
+she ordered her nephews to their room, and flung herself in tears
+beside her husband, murmuring:
+
+"Henry!"
+
+And Mr. Burton, having viewed the ruined dress with the eye of
+experience, uttered the single word:
+
+"Boys!"
+
+"What am I to do with them?" asked the unhappy woman.
+
+Mr. Burton was an affectionate husband. He adored womankind, and
+sincerely bemoaned its special grievances; but he did not resist the
+temptation to recall his wife's announcement of five days before, so he
+whispered:
+
+"Train them."
+
+Mrs. Burton's humiliation by her own lips was postponed by a heavy
+footfall, which, by turning her face, she discovered was that of her
+brother-in-law, Tom Lawrence, who remarked:
+
+"Tender confidences, eh? Well, I'm sorry I intruded. There's nothing
+like them if you want to be happy. But Helen's pretty well to-day, and
+dying to have her boys with her, and I'm even worse with a similar
+longing. You can't spare them, I suppose?"
+
+The peculiar way in which Tom Lawrence's eyes danced as he awaited a
+reply would, at any other time, have roused all the defiance in Alice
+Burton's nature; but now, looking at the front of her beautiful dress,
+she only said:
+
+"Why--I suppose--we _might_ spare them for an hour or two!"
+
+"You poor, dear Spartan," said Tom, with genuine sympathy, "you shall be
+at peace until their bedtime anyhow."
+
+And Mrs. Burton found occasion to rearrange the bandage on her husband's
+face so as to whisper in his ear:
+
+"Thank Heaven!"
+
+
+
+
+SAILING UP STREAM.
+
+[_The following is quoted, by permission, from Mr. Habberton's popular
+book_, "THE BARTON EXPERIMENT," _published by_ G.P. PUTNAM'S SONS, _New
+York_.]
+
+
+The superintendency of the Mississippi Valley Woolen Mills was a
+position which exactly suited Fred Macdonald, and it gave him occasion
+for the expenditure of whatever superfluous energy he found himself
+possessed of, yet it did not engross his entire attention. The faculty
+which the busiest of young men have for finding time in which to present
+themselves, well clothed and unbusiness-like, to at least one young
+woman, is as remarkable and admirable as it is inexplicable. The
+evenings which did not find Fred in Parson Wedgewell's parlor were few
+indeed, and if, when he was with Esther, he did not talk quite as
+sentimentally as he had done in the earlier days of his engagement, and
+if he talked business very frequently, the change did not seem
+distasteful to the lady herself. For the business of which he talked
+was, in the main, a sort which loving women have for ages recognized as
+the inevitable, and to which they have subjected themselves with a
+unanimity which deserves the gratitude of all humanity. Fred talked of a
+cottage which he might enter without first knocking at the door, and of
+a partnership which should be unlimited; if he learned, in the course of
+successive conversations, that even in partnerships of the most extreme
+order many compromises are absolutely necessary, the lesson was one
+which improved his character in the ratio in which it abased his pride.
+The cottage grew as rapidly as the mill, and on his returns from various
+trips for machinery there came with Fred's freight certain packages
+which prevented their owner from appearing so completely the absorbed
+businessman which he flattered himself that he seemed. Then the
+partnership was formed one evening in Parson Wedgewell's own church, in
+the presence of a host of witnesses, Fred appearing as self-satisfied
+and radiant as the gainer in such transactions always does, while
+Esther's noble face and drooping eyes showed beyond doubt who it was
+that was the giver.
+
+As the weeks succeeded each other after the wedding, however, no
+acquaintance of the couple could wonder whether the gainer or the giver
+was the happier. Fred improved rapidly, as the schoolboy improves; but
+Esther's graces were already of mature growth, and rejoiced in their
+opportunity for development. Though she could not have explained how it
+happened, she could not but notice that maidens regarded her
+wonderingly, wives contemplated her wistfully, frowns departed and
+smiles appeared when she approached people who were usually considered
+prosaic. Yet shadows sometimes stole over her face, when she looked at
+certain of her old acquaintances, and the cause thereof soon took a
+development which was anything but pleasing to her husband.
+
+"Fred," said Esther one evening, "it makes me real unhappy sometimes to
+think of the good wives there are who are not as happy as I am. I think
+of Mrs. Moshier and Mrs. Crayme, and the only reason that I can see is,
+their husbands drink."
+
+"I guess you're right, Ettie," said Fred. "They didn't begin their
+domestic tyranny in advance, as _you_ did--bless you for it."
+
+"But why _don't_ their husbands stop?" asked Esther, too deeply
+interested in her subject to notice her husband's compliment. "They must
+see what they're doing, and how cruel it all is."
+
+"They're too far gone to stop; I suppose that's the reason," said Fred.
+"It hasn't been easy work for _me_ to keep my promise, Ettie, and I'm a
+young man; Moshier and Crayme are middle-aged men, and liquor is simply
+necessary to them."
+
+"That dreadful old Bunley wasn't too old to reform, it seems," said
+Esther. "Fred, I believe one reason is that no one has asked them to
+stop. See how good Harry Wainwright has been since he found that so many
+people were interested in him that day!"
+
+"Ye--es," drawled Fred, evidently with a suspicion of what was coming,
+and trying to change the subject by suddenly burying himself in his
+memorandum-book. But this ruse did not succeed, for Esther crossed the
+room to where Fred sat, placed her hands on his shoulders, and a kiss on
+his forehead, and exclaimed:
+
+"Fred, _you're_ the proper person to reform those two men!"
+
+"Oh, Ettie," groaned Fred, "you're entirely mistaken. Why, they'd laugh
+right in my face, if they didn't get angry and knock me down. Reformers
+want to be older men, better men, men like your father, for instance, if
+people are to listen to them."
+
+"Father says they need to be men who understand the nature of those they
+are talking to," replied Esther; and you once told me that you
+understood Moshier and Crayme perfectly."
+
+"But just think of what they are, Ettie," pleaded Fred. "Moshier is a
+contractor, and Crayme's a steamboat captain; _such_ men never reform,
+though they always are good fellows. Why, if I were to speak to either
+of them on the subject, they'd laugh in my face, or curse me. The only
+way I was able to make peace with them for stopping drinking myself, was
+to say that I did it to please my wife."
+
+"Did they accept that as sufficient excuse?" asked Esther.
+
+"Yes," said Fred reluctantly, and biting his lips over this slip of his
+tongue.
+
+"Then you've set them a good example, and I can't believe its effect
+will be lost," said Esther.
+
+"I sincerely hope it won't," said Fred, very willing to seem a reformer
+at heart, "nobody would be gladder than I to see those fellows with
+wives as happy as mine seems to be."
+
+"Then why don't you follow it up, Fred, dear, and make sure of your
+hopes being realized? You can't imagine how much happier _I_ would be if
+I could meet those dear women without feeling that I had to hide the joy
+that's so hard to keep to myself."
+
+The conversation continued with considerable strain to Fred's
+amiability; but his sophistry was no match for his wife's earnestness,
+and he was finally compelled to promise that he would make an appeal to
+Crayme, with whom he had a business engagement, on the arrival of
+Crayme's boat, the _Excellence_.
+
+Before the whistles of the steamer were next heard, however, Esther
+learned something of the sufferings of would-be reformers, and found
+cause to wonder who was to endure most that Mrs. Crayme should have a
+sober husband; for Fred was alternately cross, moody, abstracted, and
+inattentive, and even sullenly remarked at his breakfast-table one
+morning that he shouldn't be sorry if the _Excellence_ were to blow up,
+and leave Mrs. Crayme to find her happiness in widowhood. But no such
+luck befell the lady: the whistle-signals of the _Excellence_ were again
+heard in the river, and the nature of Fred's business with the captain
+made it unadvisable for Fred to make an excuse for leaving the boat
+unvisited.
+
+It _did_ seem to Fred Macdonald as if everything conspired to make his
+task as hard as it could possibly be. Crayme was already under the
+influence of more liquor than was necessary to his well-being, and the
+boat carried as passengers a couple of men, who, though professional
+gamblers, Crayme found very jolly company when they were not engaged in
+their business calling. Besides, Captain Crayme was running against time
+with an opposition boat which had just been put upon the river, and he
+appreciated the necessity of having the boat's bar well stocked and
+freely opened to whoever along the river was influential in making or
+marring the reputation of steamboats. Fred finally got the captain into
+his own room, however, and made a freight contract so absent-mindedly
+that the sagacious captain gained an immense advantage over him; then he
+acted so awkwardly, and looked so pale, that the captain suggested
+chills, and prescribed brandy. Fred smiled feebly, and replied,
+
+"No, thank you, Sam; brandy's at the bottom of the trouble. I"--here
+Fred made a tremendous attempt to rally himself--"I want _you_ to swear
+off, Sam."
+
+The astonishment of Captain Crayme was marked enough to be alarming at
+first; then the ludicrous feature of Fred's request struck him so
+forcibly that he burst into a laugh before whose greatness Fred trembled
+and shrank.
+
+"Well, by thunder!" exclaimed the captain, when he recovered his breath;
+"if that isn't the best thing I ever heard yet! The idea of a steamboat
+captain swearing off his whisky! Say, Fred, don't you want me to join
+the Church? I forgot that you'd married a preacher's daughter, or I
+wouldn't have been so puzzled over your white face to-day. Sam Crayme
+brought down to cold water! Wouldn't the boys along the river get up a
+sweet lot of names for me--the 'Cold-water Captain,' 'Psalm-singing
+Sammy!' and then, when an editor or any other visitor came aboard,
+_wouldn't_ I look the thing, hauling out glasses and a pitcher of water!
+Say, Fred, does your wife let you drink tea and coffee?"
+
+"Sam!" exclaimed Fred, springing to his feet, "if you don't stop
+slanting at my wife, I'll knock you down."
+
+"Good!" said the captain, without exhibiting any signs of trepidation.
+"_Now_ you talk like yourself again. I beg your pardon, old fellow; you
+know I was only joking, but it _is_ too funny. You'll have to take a
+trip or two with me again, though, and be reformed."
+
+"Not any," said Fred, resuming his chair; "take your wife along, and
+reform yourself."
+
+"Look here, now, young man," said the captain, "_you're_ cracking on
+too much steam. Honestly, Fred, I've kept a sharp eye on you for two or
+three months, and I am right glad you can let whisky alone. I've seen
+times when I wished I were in your boots; but steamboats can't be run
+without liquor, however it may be with woolen mills."
+
+"That's all nonsense," said Fred. "You get trade because you run your
+boat on time, charge fair prices, and deliver your freight in good
+order. Who gives you business because you drink and treat?"
+
+The captain, being unable to recall any shipper of the class alluded to
+by Fred, changed his course.
+
+"'Tisn't so much that," said he; "it's a question of reputation. How
+would I feel to go ashore at Pittsburgh or Louisville or Cincinnati, and
+refuse to drink with anybody? Why, 'twould ruin me. It's different with
+you who don't have to meet anybody but religious old farmers. Besides,
+you've just been married."
+
+"And you've been married for five years," said Fred, with a sudden sense
+of help at hand. "How do you suppose _your_ wife feels?"
+
+Captain Crayme's jollity subsided a little, but with only a little
+hesitation he replied:
+
+"Oh! she's used to it; she doesn't mind it."
+
+"You're the only person in town that thinks so, Sam," said Fred.
+
+Captain Crayme got up and paced his little stateroom two or three times,
+with a face full of uncertainty. At last he replied:
+
+"Well, between old friends, Fred, I don't think so very strongly myself.
+Hang it! I wish I'd been brought up a preacher, or something of the
+kind, so I wouldn't have had business ruining my chances of being the
+right sort of a family man. Emily _don't_ like my drinking, and I've
+promised to look up some other business; but 'tisn't easy to get out of
+steamboating when you've got a good boat and a first-rate trade. Once
+she felt so awfully about it that I _did_ swear off--don't tell
+anybody, for God's sake! but I did. I had to look out for my character
+along the river, though; so I swore off on the sly, and played sick. I'd
+give my orders to the mates and clerks from my bed in here, and then I'd
+lock myself in, and read novels and the Bible to keep from thinking.
+'Twas awful dry work all around; but 'whole hog or none' is _my_ style,
+you know. There was fun in it, though, to think of doing something that
+no other captain on the river ever did. But thunder! by the time night
+came, I was so tired of loafing that I wrapped a blanket around my head
+and shoulders, like a Hoosier, sneaked out the outer door here, and
+walked the guards, between towns; but I was so frightened for fear some
+one would know me that the walk did me more harm than good. And blue!
+why a whole cargo of indigo would have looked like a snowstorm alongside
+of my feelings the second day; 'pon my word, Fred, I caught myself
+crying in the afternoon, just before dark, and I couldn't find out what
+for, either. I tell _you_ I was scared, and things got worse as time
+spun along; the dreams I had that night made me howl, and I felt worse
+yet when daylight came along again. Toward the next night I was just
+afraid to go to sleep; so I made up my mind to get well, go on duty, and
+dodge everybody that it seemed I ought to drink with. Why, the Lord
+bless your soul! the first time we shoved off from a town I walked up to
+the bar just as I always did after leaving towns; the barkeeper set out
+my particular bottle naturally enough, knowing nothing about my little
+game; I poured my couple of fingers, and dropped it down as innocent as
+a lamb before I knew what I was doing. By George! my boy, 'twas
+like-opening the lock-gates; I was just heavenly gay before morning.
+There was one good thing about it, though--I never told Emily I was
+going to swear off; I was going to surprise her, so I had the
+disappointment all to myself. Maybe she isn't as happy as your wife; but
+whatever else I've done, or not done, I've never lied to her."
+
+"It's a pity you hadn't promised _her_ then, before you tried your
+experiment," said Fred. The captain shook his head gravely, and replied:
+
+"I guess not; why, I'd have either killed somebody or killed myself if
+I'd gone on a day or two longer. I s'pose I'd have got along better if
+I'd had anybody to keep me company, or reason with me like a
+schoolmaster; but I hadn't. I didn't know anybody that I dared trust
+with a secret like that."
+
+"_I_ hadn't reformed then, eh?" queried Fred.
+
+"You? why you're one of the very fellows I dodged! Just as I got aboard
+the boat--I came down late, on purpose--I saw you out aft. I tell you, I
+was under my blankets, with a towel wrapped around my jaw, in about one
+minute, and was just _a-praying_ that you hadn't seen me come aboard."
+
+Fred laughed, but his laughter soon made place for a look of tender
+solicitude. The unexpected turn that had been reached in the
+conversation he had so dreaded, and the sympathy which had been awakened
+in him by Crayme's confidence and openness, temporarily made of Fred
+Macdonald a man with whom Fred himself had never before been acquainted.
+A sudden idea struck him.
+
+"Sam," said he, "try it over again, and _I'll_ stay by you. I'll nurse
+you, crack jokes, fight off the blues for you, keep your friends away.
+I'll even break your neck for you, if you like, seeing it's you, if
+it'll keep you straight."
+
+"Will you, though?" said the captain, with a look of admiration,
+undisguised except by wonder. "You're the first friend I ever had, then.
+By thunder! how marrying Ettie Wedgewell _did_ improve you, Fred! But,"
+and the captain's face lengthened again, "there's a fellow's reputation
+to be considered, and where'll mine be after it gets around that I've
+sworn off?"
+
+"Reputation be hanged!" exclaimed Fred. "_Lose_ it, for your wife's
+sake. Besides, you'll _make_ reputation instead of lose it: you'll be as
+famous as the Red River Raft, or the Mammoth Cave--the only thing of the
+kind west of the Alleghanies. As for the boys, tell them I've bet you a
+hundred that you can't stay off your liquor for a year, and that, you're
+not the man to take a dare."
+
+"_That_ sounds like business," exclaimed the captain springing to his
+feet.
+
+"Let me draw up a pledge," said Fred, eagerly, drawing, pen and ink
+toward him.
+
+"No, you don't, my boy," said the captain, gently, and pushing Fred out
+of the room and upon the guards. "Emily shall do that. Below
+there!--Perkins, I've got to go uptown for an hour; see if you can't
+pick up freight to pay laying-up expenses somehow. Fred, go home and get
+your traps; 'How's the accepted time,' as your father-in-law has dinged
+at me, many a Sunday, from the pulpit."
+
+As Sam Crayne strode toward the body of the town, his business instincts
+took strong hold of his sentiments, in the manner natural alike to
+saints and sinners, and he laid a plan of operations against whisky
+which was characterized by the apparent recklessness but actual prudence
+which makes for glory in steamboat captains, as it does in army
+commanders. As was his custom in business, he first drove at full speed
+upon the greatest obstacles; so it came to pass he burst into his own
+house, threw his arm around his wife with more than ordinary tenderness,
+and then looking into her eyes with a daring born of utter desperation,
+said:
+
+"Emily, I came back to sign the strongest temperance-pledge that you can
+possibly draw up; Fred Macdonald wanted to write out one, but I told him
+that nobody but you should do it; you've earned the right to, poor
+girl." No such duty and surprise having ever before come hand-in-hand to
+Mrs. Crayme, she acted as every true woman will imagine that she herself
+would have done under similar circumstances, and this action made it not
+so easy as it might otherwise have been to see just where the pen and
+ink were, or to prevent the precious document, when completed, from
+being disfigured by peculiar blots which were neither fingermarks nor
+ink-spots, yet which in shape and size suggested both of these
+indications of unneatness. Mrs. Crayme was not an adept at literary
+composition, and, being conscious of her own deficiency, she begged that
+a verbal pledge might be substituted; but her husband was firm.
+
+"A contract won't steer worth a cent unless it's in writing, Emily,"
+said he, looking over his wife's shoulder as she wrote. "Gracious, girl,
+you're making it too thin; _any_ greenhorn could sail right through that
+and all around it. Here, let _me_ have it." And Crayme wrote, dictating
+aloud to himself as he did so, "And the--party--of the first
+part--hereby agrees to--do everything--else that the--spirit of
+this--agreement--seems to the party--of the second--part to--indicate
+or--imply." This he read over to his wife, saying:
+
+"That's the way we fix contracts that aren't ship-shape, Emily; a
+steamboat couldn't be run in any other way." Then Crayme wrote at the
+foot of the paper, "Sam Crayme, Capt. Str. _Excellence_" surveyed the
+document with evident pride, and handed it to his wife, saying:
+
+"Now, you see, you've got me so I can't ever get out of it by trying to
+make out that 'twas some other Sam Crayme that you reformed."
+
+"Oh husband!" said Mrs. Crayme, throwing her arms about the captain's
+neck, "_don't_ talk in that dreadful business way! I'm too happy to bear
+it. I want to go with you on this trip."
+
+The captain shrank away from his wife's arms, and a cold perspiration
+started all over him as he exclaimed:
+
+"Oh, don't, little girl! Wait till next trip. There's an unpleasant set
+of passengers aboard; the barometer points to rainy weather, so you'd
+have to stay in the cabin all the time; our cook is sick, and his cubs
+serve up the most infernal messes; we're light of freight, and have got
+to stop at every warehouse on the river, and the old boat'll be either
+shrieking, or bumping, or blowing off steam the whole continual time."
+
+Mrs. Crayme's happiness had been frightening some of her years away,
+and her smile carried Sam himself back to his pre-marital period as she
+said:
+
+"Never mind the rest; I see you don't want me to go," and then she
+became Mrs. Crayme again as she said, pressing her face closely to her
+husband's breast, "but I hope you won't get _any_ freight, _anywhere_,
+so you can get home all the sooner."
+
+Then the captain called on Dr. White, and announced such a collection of
+symptoms that the doctor grew alarmed, insisted on absolute quiet, and
+conveyed Crayme in his own carriage to the boat, saw him into his berth,
+and gave to Fred Macdonald a multitude of directions and cautions, the
+sober recording of which upon paper was of great service in saving Fred
+from suffering over the Quixotic aspect which the whole project had
+begun, in his mind, to take on. He felt ashamed even to look squarely
+into Crayme's eye, and his mind was greatly relieved when the captain
+turned his face to the wall and exclaimed:
+
+"Fred, for goodness' sake get out of here; I feel enough like a baby
+now, without having a nurse alongside. I'll do well enough for a few
+hours; just look in once in a while."
+
+During the first day of the trip, Crayme made no trouble for himself or
+Fred; under the friendly shelter of night, the two men had a two-hour
+chat, which was alternately humorous, business-like, and retrospective,
+and then Crayme fell asleep. The next day was reasonably pleasant out of
+doors, so the captain wrapped himself in a blanket and sat in an
+extension-chair on the guards, where with solemn face he received some
+condolences which went far to keep him in good humor after the
+sympathizers had departed. On the second night the captain was restless,
+and the two men played cards. On the third day the captain's physique
+reached the bottom of its stock of patience, and protested indignantly
+at the withdrawal of its customary stimulus; and it acted with more
+consistency, though no less ugliness, than the human mind does when
+under excitement and destitute of control. The captain grew terribly
+despondent, and Fred found ample use for all the good stories he knew.
+Some of these amused the captain greatly, but after one of them he
+sighed.
+
+"Poor old Billy Hockess told me that the only time I ever heard it
+before, and _didn't_ we have a glorious time that night! He'd just put
+all his money into the _Yenesei_--that blew up and took him with it only
+a year afterward--and he gave us a new kind of punch he'd got the hang
+of when he went East for the boat's carpets. 'Twas made of two bottles
+of brandy, one whisky, two rum, one gin, two sherry, and four claret,
+with guava jelly, and lemon peel that had been soaking in curacoa and
+honey for a month. It looks kind of weak when you think about it, but
+there were only six of us in the party, and it went to the spot by the
+time we got through. Golly, but didn't we make Rome howl that night!"
+
+Fred shuddered, and experimented upon his friend with song; he was
+rewarded by hearing the captain hum an occasional accompaniment; but, as
+Fred got fairly into a merry Irish song about one Terry O'Rann, and
+uttered the lines in which the poet states that the hero
+
+  "--took whisky punch
+  Ivery night for his lunch,"
+
+the captain put such a world of expression into a long-drawn sigh that
+Fred began to feel depressed himself; besides, songs were not numerous
+in Fred's repertoire, and those in which there was no allusion to
+drinking could be counted on half his fingers. Then he borrowed the
+barkeeper's violin, and played the airs which had been his favorites in
+the days of his courtship, until Crayme exclaimed:
+
+"Say, Fred, we're not playing church; give us something that don't bring
+all of a fellow's dead friends along with it."
+
+Fred reddened, swung his bow viciously, and dashed into "Natchez Under
+the Hill," an old air which would have delighted Offenbach, but which
+will never appear in a collection of classical music.
+
+"Ah! that's something like music," exclaimed Captain Crayme, as Fred
+paused suddenly to repair a broken string. "I never hear that but I
+think of Wesley Treepoke, that used to run the _Quitman_; went afterward
+to the _Rising Planet_, when the _Quitman's_ owners put her on a new
+line as an opposition boat. Wess and I used to work things so as to make
+Louisville at the same time--he going up, I going down, and then turn
+about--and we always had a glorious night of it, with one or two other
+lively boys that we'd pick up. And Wess had a fireman that could fiddle
+off old 'Natchez' in a way that would just make a corpse dance till its
+teeth rattled, and that fireman would always be called in just as we'd
+got to the place where you can't tell what sort of whisky 'tis you're
+drinking; and I tell you, 'twas so heavenly that a fellow could forgive
+the last boat that beat him on the river, or stole a landing from him.
+And _such_ whisky as Wess kept! used to go cruising around the back
+country, sampling little lots run out of private stills. He'd always
+find nectar, you'd better believe. Poor old boy! the tremens took him
+off at last. He hove his pilot overboard just before he died, and put a
+bullet into Pete Langston, his second clerk--they were both trying to
+hold him, you see--but they never laid it up against him. I wish I knew
+what became of the whiskey he had on hand when he walked off--no, I
+don't either; what am I thinking about? But I do, though--hanged if I
+don't!"
+
+Fred grew pale: he had heard of drunkards growing delirious upon ceasing
+to drink; he had heard of men who, in periods of aberration, were
+impelled by the motive of the last act or recollection which strongly
+impressed them; what if the captain should suddenly become delirious,
+and try to throw _him_ overboard or shoot him? Fred determined to get
+the captain at once upon the guards--no, into the cabin, where there
+would be no sight of water to suggest anything dreadful--and search his
+room for pistols. But the captain objected to being moved into the
+cabin.
+
+"The boys," said the captain, alluding to the gamblers, "are mighty
+sharp in the eye, and like as not they'd see through my little game, and
+then where'd my reputation be? Speaking of the boys reminds me of Harry
+Genang, that cleaned out that rich Kentucky planter at bluff one night,
+and then swore off gambling for life, and gave a good-by supper aboard
+the boat. 'Twas just at the time when Prince Imperial Champagne came
+out, and the whole supper was made of that splendid stuff. I guess I
+must have put away four bottles, and if I'd known how much he'd ordered,
+I could have carried away a couple more. I've always been sorry I
+didn't."
+
+Fred wondered if there was any subject of conversation which would not
+suggest liquor to the captain; he even brought himself to ask if Crayme
+had seen the new Methodist Church at Barton since it had been finished.
+
+"Oh, yes," said the captain; "I started to walk Moshier home one night,
+after we'd punished a couple of bottles of old Crow whisky at our house,
+and he caved in all of a sudden, and I laid him out on the steps of that
+very church till I could get a carriage. Those were my last two bottles
+of Crow, too; it's too bad the way the good things of this life paddle
+off."
+
+The captain raised himself in his berth, sat on the edge thereof, stood
+up, stared out of the window, and began to pace his room with his head
+down and his hands behind his back. Little by little he raised his head,
+drooped his hands, flung himself into a chair, beat the devil's tattoo
+on the table, sprang up excitedly, and exclaimed:
+
+"I'm going back on all the good times I ever had."
+
+"You're only getting ready to try a new kind, Sam," said Fred.
+
+"Well, I'm going back on my friends."
+
+"Not on all of them; the dead ones would pat you on the back, if they
+got a chance."
+
+"A world without whisky looks infernally dismal to a fellow that isn't
+half done living."
+
+"It looks first-rate to a fellow that hasn't got any backdown in him."
+
+"Curse you! I wish I'd made _you_ back down when you first talked
+temperance to me."
+
+"Go ahead! Then curse your wife--don't be afraid; you've been doing it
+ever since you married her."
+
+Crayme flew at Macdonald's throat; the younger man grappled the captain
+and threw him into his bunk. The captain struggled and glared like a
+tiger; Fred gasped between the special efforts dictated by
+self-preservation:
+
+"Sam, I--promised to--to see you--through--and I'm--going to--do it,
+if--if I have to--break your neck."
+
+The captain made one tremendous effort; Fred braced one foot against the
+table, put a knee on the captain's breast, held both the captain's
+wrists tightly, looked full into the captain's eyes, and breathed a
+small prayer--for his own safety. For a moment or two, perhaps longer,
+the captain strained violently, and then relaxed all effort, and cried:
+
+"Fred, you've whipped me!"
+
+"Nonsense! whip yourself," exclaimed Fred, "if you're going to stop
+drinking."
+
+The captain turned his face to the wall and said nothing; but he seemed
+to be so persistently swallowing something that Fred suspected a
+secreted bottle, and moved an investigation so suddenly that the captain
+had not time in which to wipe his eyes.
+
+"Hang it, Fred," said he, rather brokenly; "how _can_ what's babyish in
+men whip a full-grown steamboat captain?"
+
+"The same way that it whipped a full-grown woolen-mill manager once, I
+suppose, old boy," said Macdonald.
+
+"Is that so?" exclaimed the captain, astonishment getting so sudden an
+advantage over shame that he turned over and looked his companion in the
+face. "Why--how are you, Fred? I feel as if I was just being introduced.
+Didn't anybody else help?"
+
+"Yes," said Fred, "a woman; but--you've got a wife, too."
+
+Crayme fell back on his pillow and sighed. "If I could only _think_
+about her, Fred! But I can't; whisky's the only thing that comes into my
+mind."
+
+"Can't think about her!" exclaimed Fred; "why, are you acquainted with
+her yet, I wonder? _I'll_ never forget the evening you were married."
+
+"That _was_ jolly, wasn't it?" said Crayme. "I'll bet such sherry was
+never opened west of the Alleghanies before or--"
+
+"_Hang_ your sherry!" roared Fred; "it's your wife that I remember.
+_You_ couldn't see her, of course, for you were standing alongside of
+her; but the rest of us--well, I wished myself in your place, that's
+all."
+
+"Did you, though?" said Crayme, with a smile which seemed rather proud;
+"well, I guess old Major Pike did too, for he drank to her about twenty
+times that evening. Let's see; she wore a white moire antique, I think
+they called it, and it cost twenty-one dollars a dozen, and there was at
+least one broken bottle in every--"
+
+"And I made up my mind she was throwing herself away, in marrying a
+fellow that would be sure to care more for whisky than he did for her,"
+interrupted Fred.
+
+"Ease off, Fred, ease off now; there wasn't any whisky there; I tried to
+get some of the old Twin Tulip brand for punch, but--"
+
+"But the devil happened to be asleep, and you got a chance to behave
+yourself," said Fred.
+
+Crayme looked appealingly. "Fred," said he, "tell me about her yourself;
+I'll take it as a favor."
+
+"Why, she looked like a lot of lilies and roses," said Fred, "except
+that you couldn't tell where one left off and the other began. As she
+came into the room _I_ felt like getting down on my knees. Old Bayle was
+telling me a vile story just then, but the minute _she_ came in he
+stopped as if he was shot."
+
+"He wouldn't drink a drop that evening," said Crayme, "and I've puzzled
+my wits over that for five years--"
+
+"She looked so proud of _you_" interrupted Fred, with some impatience.
+
+"Did she?" asked Crayme. "Well, I guess I _was_ a good-looking fellow in
+those days; I know Pike came up to me once, with a glass in his hand,
+and said that he ought to drink to _me_, for I was the finest-looking
+groom he'd ever seen. He was so tight, though, that he couldn't hold his
+glass steady; and though you know I never had a drop of stingy blood in
+me, it _did_ go to my heart to see him spill that gorgeous sherry."
+
+"She looked very proud of _you_," Fred repeated; "but I can't see why,
+for I've never seen her do it since."
+
+"You _will_, though, hang you!" exclaimed the captain. "Get out of here!
+I can think about her _now_, and I don't want anybody else around. No
+rudeness meant, you know, Fred."
+
+Fred Macdonald retired quietly, taking with him the keys of both doors,
+and feeling more exhausted than he had been on any Saturday night since
+the building of the mill.
+
+
+
+
+FREE SPEECH.
+
+[_The following is quoted, by permission, from Mr. Habberton's volume_,
+"THE SCRIPTURE CLUB OF VALLEY REST," _published by_ G.P. Putnam's Sons,
+_New York_.]
+
+
+The members of the Scripture Club did not put off their holy interest
+with their Sunday garments, as people of the world do with most things
+religious. When the little steamboat _Oakleaf_ started on her Monday
+morning trip for the city, the members of the Scripture Club might be
+identified by their neglect of the morning papers and their tendency to
+gather in small knots and engage in earnest conversation. In a corner
+behind the paddle-box, securely screened from wind and sun, sat Mr.
+Jodderel and Mr. Primm, the latter adoring with much solemn verbosity
+the sacred word, and the former piling text upon text to demonstrate the
+final removal of all the righteous to a new state of material existence
+in a better-ordered planet. In the one rocking-chair of the cabin sat
+Insurance President Lottson, praising to Mr. Hooper, who leaned
+obsequiously upon the back of the chair and occasionally hopped
+vivaciously around it, the self-disregard of the disciples, and the
+evident inability of any one within sight to follow their example. The
+prudent Wagget was interviewing Dr. Fahrenglotz, who was going to attend
+the meeting of a sort of Theosophic Society, composed almost entirely of
+Germans, and was endeavoring to learn what points there might be in the
+Doctor's belief which would make a man wiser unto salvation, while
+Captain Maile stood by, a critical listener, and distributed pitying
+glances between the two. Well forward, but to the rear of the general
+crowd, stood Deacon Bates, in an attitude which might have seemed
+conservative were it not manifestly helpless; Mr. Buffle, with the
+smile peculiar to the successful business man; Lawyer Scott, with the
+air of a man who had so much to say that time could not possibly suffice
+in which to tell it all; Squire Woodhouse, who was in search of a good
+market for hay; Principal Alleman, who was in chase of an overdue
+shipment of text-books; and Mr. Radley, who, with indifferent success,
+was filling the self-assigned roll of moderator of the little
+assemblage.
+
+"Nothing settled by the meeting?" said Mr. Buffle, echoing a despondent
+suggestion by Deacon Bates. "Of course not. You don't suppose that what
+theologians have been squabbling over for two thousand years can be
+settled in a day, do you? We made a beginning and that's a good half of
+anything. Why, I and every other man that builds boats have been hard at
+work for years, looking for the best model, and we haven't settled the
+question yet. We're in earnest about it--we can't help but be, for
+there's money in it, and while we're waiting we do the next best
+thing--we use the best ones we know about."
+
+"Don't you think you'd get at the model sooner, if some of you weren't
+pig-headed about your own, and too fond of abusing each other's?" asked
+Mr. Radley.
+
+"Certainly," admitted Mr. Buffle, "and that's why I wanted us to get up
+a Bible-class like the one we have. If everybody will try to see what's
+good in his neighbor's theories and what's bad in his own, his
+fortune--his religion, I mean--is a sure thing. Fiddling on one string
+always makes a thin sort of a tune."
+
+"There were a good many small tunes begun yesterday, then," observed
+Squire Woodhouse.
+
+"Well," said Mr. Buffle, "I thought something of the kind, myself, but a
+man can't break an old habit to pieces all at once. Things will be
+different before long, though."
+
+"There is no reason why they shouldn't," said Principal Alleman,
+"excepting one reason that's stronger than any other. You can't get to
+the bottom of any of the sayings of Christ, the Prophets or the
+Apostles, without finding that they mean, Do Right. And when you reach
+that point, what is in the man and not what is in the book comes into
+play; or, rather, it always should but seldom does."
+
+"I suppose that's so," said Mr. Buffle, soberly.
+
+"In and of ourselves we can do nothing," remarked Deacon Bates.
+
+"It's very odd, then, that we should have been told to do so much,"
+replied Principal Alleman.
+
+"It was to teach us our dependence upon a higher power," said Deacon
+Bates, with more than his usual energy.
+
+"Are we only to be taught, and never to learn, then?" asked Principal
+Alleman. "Some of my pupils seem to think so, but those who depend least
+upon the teacher and act most fully up to what they have been taught are
+the ones I call my best scholars."
+
+Deacon Bates's lower lip pushed up its neighbor; in the school-room, the
+Principal's theory might apply, but in religion it was different, or he
+(Deacon Bates) had always been mistaken, and this possibility was not to
+be thought of for an instant. Fortunately for his peace of mind, the
+boat touched her city dock just then, and from that hour until five in
+the afternoon, when he left his store for the boat, religious theories
+absented themselves entirely from Deacon Bates's mind.
+
+The last meeting of the class was still the most popular subject of
+conversation among the members, however, and interest of such a degree
+could not help be contagious. Other residents of Valley Rest,
+overhearing some of the chats between the members, expressed a desire to
+listen to the discussions of the class, and to all was extended a hearty
+welcome, without regard to race, color, or previous condition of
+religious servitude, and all were invited to be doers as well as
+hearers. So at the next session appeared ex-Judge Cottaway, who had
+written a book and was a vestryman of St. Amos Parish; Broker Whilcher,
+who worshiped with the Unitarians, but found them rather narrow, and
+Broker Whilcher's bookkeeper, who read Herbert Spencer, and could not
+tell what he himself believed, even if to escape the penalty of death.
+Various motives brought men from other churches, including even one from
+Father McGarry's flock, and all of them were assured that they might say
+whatever they chose, provided only that they believed it.
+
+"Shall we continue our consideration of last Sunday's lesson?" asked
+Deacon Bates, after the opening prayer had been offered. "We have some
+new members, and should therefore have some additional views to
+consider."
+
+"Let's hear everybody," said Captain Maile. "If we talk as long about
+this verse as we'll _have_ to talk before we reach any agreement, we'll
+all die before we can reach the square up-and-down verses that are
+further along in this same sermon."
+
+"If the class has no objection to offer, we will continue our study of
+the third verse of the fifth chapter of Matthew, and those who spoke on
+last Sunday will allow the newer members and others an opportunity to
+make their views known." As Deacon Bates spoke, his eye rested warningly
+on Mr. Jodderel.
+
+"I think," said Mr. Jodderel, "that the new members ought to know what
+ideas have already been presented, so as to throw any new light upon
+them, if they can. The nature of the kingdom of heaven, now, is the most
+important question suggested by the lesson, and--"
+
+"It won't be of the slightest, consequence to any one," interrupted
+Principal Alleman, "unless they first comply with the condition which
+the verse imposes upon those who want to reach the kingdom."
+
+"I wouldn't be too sure of that," remarked President Lottson; "Jesus
+said that the poor in spirit should have the kingdom of heaven; He
+didn't say that no one else should share it with them. What is written
+doesn't always, express all that is meant."
+
+"It doesn't in insurance policies, anyhow," said Squire Woodhouse;
+"when my barn burned--"
+
+"Time is precious, my brethren," said Deacon Bates hastily, scenting a
+personality. "I will therefore ask Judge Cottaway for his opinion of the
+passage."
+
+"I think," said the judge, with that impressive cough which is the
+rightful indulgence of a man who has written a volume on the rules of
+evidence, "that 'poor in spirit' undoubtedly means unassuming, rightly
+satisfied with what is their due, mindful of the fact that human nature
+is so imperfect that whatever a man obtains is probably more than he
+deserves. They cannot be the meek, for special allusion is made to the
+meek in this same group of specially designated persons. Neither can it
+refer to people who are usually called poor-spirited persons, to wit,
+those who are too devoid of what is commonly designated as spirit, for
+these are properly classified as peace-makers, and have a similar though
+not identical blessing promised to them."
+
+"The class owes its thanks to the judge for his clear definition of the
+term 'poor in spirit,'" said Mr. Jodderel, "and if he can be equally
+distinct upon the expression 'kingdom of heaven' he will put an end to a
+great deal of senseless blundering."
+
+"I know of but one definition," said the judge, "heaven is the abode of
+God and the angels, and of those who are finally saved."
+
+"Ah, but _where_ is it? _that's_ the question this class wants
+answered," said Mr. Jodderel, twisting his body and craning his head
+forward as he awaited the answer.
+
+"Really," said the judge, "you must excuse me. I don't know where it is,
+and I can't see that study as to its locality can throw any light upon
+the lesson."
+
+This opinion, delivered by an ex-judge, who had written a book on the
+rules of evidence, would have quieted almost any one else, and the
+members' faces expressed a sense of relief as they thought that Mr.
+Jodderel was not one of the faint-hearted, and in his opinion
+faint-heartedness and quietness were one and the same thing.
+
+"No light upon the lesson?" echoed Mr. Jodderel. "Why, what is the Bible
+for, if not to inform us of our destiny? What is this world but a place
+of preparation for another? And how can we prepare ourselves unless we
+know what our future place and duty is to be?"
+
+"Next!" exclaimed Deacon Bates with more than his usual energy, and Mr.
+Jodderel sank back into his chair and talked angrily with every feature
+but his mouth, and with his whole body besides. "Mr. Whilcher has some
+new ideas to present, no doubt," continued the leader, bracing himself
+somewhat firmly in his chair, for the Deacon naturally expected an
+assault from a man of Mr. Whilcher's peculiar views.
+
+"Poverty of spirit seems to me to be old English for modesty," said Mr.
+Whilcher, "We know very little, comparatively, of the great designs of
+God, and about as little of the intentions of our fellow-men, so we
+should be very careful how we question our Maker or criticise our
+neighbors. No human being would appreciate divine perfection if he saw
+it; no man can give his fellow men full credit for what they _would_ do,
+if they were angels, and are sorry because they can't do. I think the
+passage means that only by that modesty, that self-repression, by which
+alone a man can accept the inevitable as decreed by God, and forbear
+that fault-finding which comes fully as easy as breathing, can a man be
+fitted for the companionship of the loving company which awaits us all
+in the next world"
+
+"Whereabouts?" asked Mr. Jodderel.
+
+Half-a-dozen members filibustered at once, and Mr. Jodderel was
+temporarily suppressed, after which Squire Woodhouse remarked:
+
+"Well, now, that sounds first-rate--I never knew before that Unitarians
+had such good religion in them--no harm meant, you know, Whilcher."
+
+"Now let us hear from Mr. Bungfloat," said Deacon Bates.
+
+Mr. Bungfloat, bookkeeper to Mr. Whilcher, hopelessly explored his
+memory for something from Herbert Spencer that would bear upon the
+subject, but finding nothing at hand, he quoted some expressions from
+John Stuart Mill's essay on "Nature," and was hopelessly demoralized
+when he realized that they did not bear in the remotest manner upon the
+topic under consideration. Then Deacon Bates announced that the subject
+was open for general remark and comment. Mr. Jodderel was upon his feet
+in an instant, though the class has no rule compelling the members to
+rise while speaking.
+
+"Mr. Leader," said he, "everybody has spoken, but nobody has settled the
+main question, which is, where is the 'kingdom of heaven'? Everybody
+knows who the poor in spirit are; any one that didn't know when we began
+has now a lot of first-class opinions to choose from. But where and what
+is heaven--_that_ is what we want to know."
+
+A subdued but general groan indicated the possibility that Mr. Jodderel
+was mistaken as to the desires of the class. Meanwhile, young Mr. Banty,
+who had been to Europe, and listened to much theological debate in cafes
+and beer-gardens, remarked:
+
+"I'm not a member of this respected body, but I seem to be included in
+the chairman's invitation. I profess to be a man of the world--I've been
+around a good deal--and I never could see that the poor in spirit
+amounted to a row of pins. If they're fit for heaven they ought to be
+fit for something on this side of that undiscovered locality."
+
+"Discovered millions upon millions of times, bless the Lord,"
+interrupted Squire Woodhouse.
+
+"Well, the discoverers sent no word back, at any rate," said young Mr.
+Banty, "so there's one view I think ought to be considered; isn't it
+possible that Jesus was mistaken?"
+
+Mr. Primm turn pale and Deacon Bates shivered violently, while a low hum
+and a general shaking of heads showed the unpopularity of young Mr.
+Banty's idea.
+
+"The class cannot entertain such a theory for an instant," answered
+Deacon Bates, as soon as he could recover his breath, "though it
+encourages the freest expression of opinion."
+
+"Oh!" remarked Mr. Banty, with a derisive smile. The tone in which this
+interjection was delivered put the class upon its spirit at once.
+
+"Our leader means exactly what he says," said Mr. Jodderel; "any honest
+expression of opinion is welcome here."
+
+"If such were not the case," said Mr. Primm, "a rival class would not
+have been formed."
+
+"And none of us would have learned how many sides there are to a great
+question," said. Mr. Buffle.
+
+"Larger liberty wouldn't be possible," said Builder Stott. "Why, I've
+just had to shudder once in a while, but the speakers meant what they
+said, and I rejoiced that there was somewhere where they could say it."
+
+"I've said everything _I've_ wanted to," remarked Squire Woodhouse.
+
+"That's so," exclaimed Insurance President Lottson.
+
+"I haven't seen any man put down," testified Captain Maile, "and I don't
+yet understand what to make of it."
+
+"Nobody could ask a fairer show," declared Mr. Radley.
+
+"The utmost courtesy has been displayed toward me," said Dr.
+Fahrenglotz, "although I am conscious my views are somewhat at variance
+with those of others."
+
+"The nature of proof has not been as clearly understood as it should
+have been," said young Lawyer Scott; "but no one has lacked opportunity
+to express his sentiments."
+
+"So far from fault being found with the freedom of speech," said Mr.
+Alleman, "the sentiment of the class is, I think, that the expression of
+additional individual impressions would have been cordially welcomed, as
+they will also hereafter be."
+
+Young Mr. Banty felt himself to be utterly annihilated, and the pillars
+of the class looked more stable and enduring than ever, and felt
+greatly relieved when the session ended, and they could congratulate
+each other on the glorious spirit of liberty which had marked their
+collective deliberations. And when Squire Woodhouse dashed impetuously
+from the room, and returned to report that Dr. Humbletop's class
+consisted of one solitary pupil, several of the members unconsciously
+indulged in some hearty hand-shaking.
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ROMANCE OF CALIFORNIA LIFE***
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