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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:43:00 -0700 |
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| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:43:00 -0700 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/13821-0.txt b/13821-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..dd4d212 --- /dev/null +++ b/13821-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3978 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13821 *** + +TALES OF WONDER + +by Lord Dunsany + + + + + A Tale of London + Thirteen at Table + The City on Mallington Moor + Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn + The Bad Old Woman in Black + The Bird of the Difficult Eye + The Long Porter's Tale + The Loot of Loma + The Secret of the Sea + How Ali Came to the Black Country + The Bureau d'Echange de Maux + A Story of Land and Sea + + Guarantee To The Reader + + A Tale of the Equator + A Narrow Escape + The Watch-tower + How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire + The Three Sailors' Gambit + The Exiles Club + The Three Infernal Jokes + + + + +Preface + + Ebrington Barracks + + Aug. 16th 1916. + +I do not know where I may be when this preface is read. As I write it +in August 1916, I am at Ebrington Barracks, Londonderry, recovering +from a slight wound. But it does not greatly matter where I am; my +dreams are here before you amongst the following pages; and writing in +a day when life is cheap, dreams seem to me all the dearer, the only +things that survive. + +Just now the civilization of Europe seems almost to have ceased, and +nothing seems to grow in her torn fields but death, yet this is only +for a while and dreams will come back again and bloom as of old, all +the more radiantly for this terrible ploughing, as the flowers will +bloom again where the trenches are and the primroses shelter in +shell-holes for many seasons, when weeping Liberty has come home to +Flanders. + +To some of you in America this may seem an unnecessary and wasteful +quarrel, as other people's quarrels often are; but it comes to this +that though we are all killed there will be songs again, but if we +were to submit and so survive there could be neither songs nor dreams, +nor any joyous free things any more. + +And do not regret the lives that are wasted amongst us, or the work +that the dead would have done, for war is no accident that man's care +could have averted, but is as natural, though not as regular, as the +tides; as well regret the things that the tide has washed away, which +destroys and cleanses and crumbles, and spares the minutest shells. + +And now I will write nothing further about our war, but offer you +these books of dreams from Europe as one throws things of value, if +only to oneself, at the last moment out of a burning house. + + DUNSANY. + + + + + +A Tale of London + +"Come," said the Sultan to his hasheesh-eater in the very furthest +lands that know Bagdad, "dream to me now of London." + +And the hasheesh-eater made a low obeisance and seated himself +cross-legged upon a purple cushion broidered with golden poppies, on +the floor, beside an ivory bowl where the hasheesh was, and having +eaten liberally of the hasheesh blinked seven times and spoke thus: + +"O Friend of God, know then that London is the desiderate town even of +all Earth's cities. Its houses are of ebony and cedar which they roof +with thin copper plates that the hand of Time turns green. They have +golden balconies in which amethysts are where they sit and watch the +sunset. Musicians in the gloaming steal softly along the ways; unheard +their feet fall on the white sea-sand with which those ways are +strewn, and in the darkness suddenly they play on dulcimers and +instruments with strings. Then are there murmurs in the balconies +praising their skill, then are there bracelets cast down to them for +reward and golden necklaces and even pearls. + +"Indeed but the city is fair; there is by the sandy ways a paving all +alabaster, and the lanterns along it are of chrysoprase, all night +long they shine green, but of amethyst are the lanterns of the +balconies. + +"As the musicians go along the ways dancers gather about them and +dance upon the alabaster pavings, for joy and not for hire. Sometimes +a window opens far up in an ebony palace and a wreath is cast down to +a dancer or orchids showered upon them. + +"Indeed of many cities have I dreamt but of none fairer, through many +marble metropolitan gates hasheesh has led me, but London is its +secret, the last gate of all; the ivory bowl has nothing more to show. +And indeed even now the imps that crawl behind me and that will not +let me be are plucking me by the elbow and bidding my spirit return, +for well they know that I have seen too much. 'No, not London,' they +say; and therefore I will speak of some other city, a city of some +less mysterious land, and anger not the imps with forbidden things. I +will speak of Persepolis or famous Thebes." + +A shade of annoyance crossed the Sultan's face, a look of thunder that +you had scarcely seen, but in those lands they watched his visage +well, and though his spirit was wandering far away and his eyes were +bleared with hasheesh yet that storyteller there and then perceived +the look that was death, and sent his spirit back at once to London as +a man runs into his house when the thunder comes. + +"And therefore," he continued, "in the desiderate city, in London, all +their camels are pure white. Remarkable is the swiftness of their +horses, that draw their chariots that are of ivory along those sandy +ways and that are of surpassing lightness, they have little bells of +silver upon their horses' heads. O Friend of God, if you perceived +their merchants! The glory of their dresses in the noonday! They are +no less gorgeous than those butterflies that float about their +streets. They have overcloaks of green and vestments of azure, huge +purple flowers blaze on their overcloaks, the work of cunning needles, +the centres of the flowers are of gold and the petals of purple. All +their hats are black--" ("No, no," said the Sultan)--"but irises are +set about the brims, and green plumes float above the crowns of them. + +"They have a river that is named the Thames, on it their ships go up +with violet sails bringing incense for the braziers that perfume the +streets, new songs exchanged for gold with alien tribes, raw silver +for the statues of their heroes, gold to make balconies where the +women sit, great sapphires to reward their poets with, the secrets of +old cities and strange lands, the earning of the dwellers in far +isles, emeralds, diamonds, and the hoards of the sea. And whenever a +ship comes into port and furls its violet sails and the news spreads +through London that she has come, then all the merchants go down to +the river to barter, and all day long the chariots whirl through the +streets, and the sound of their going is a mighty roar all day until +evening, their roar is even like--" + +"Not so," said the Sultan. + +"Truth is not hidden from the Friend of God," replied the +hasheesh-eater, "I have erred being drunken with the hasheesh, for in +the desiderate city, even in London, so thick upon the ways is the +white sea-sand with which the city glimmers that no sound comes from +the path of the charioteers, but they go softly like a light +sea-wind." ("It is well," said the Sultan.) "They go softly down to +the port where the vessels are, and the merchandise in from the sea, +amongst the wonders that the sailors show, on land by the high ships, +and softly they go though swiftly at evening back to their homes. + +"O would that the Munificent, the Illustrious, the Friend of God, had +even seen these things, had seen the jewellers with their empty +baskets, bargaining there by the ships, when the barrels of emeralds +came up from the hold. Or would that he had seen the fountains there +in silver basins in the midst of the ways. I have seen small spires +upon their ebony houses and the spires were all of gold, birds +strutted there upon the copper roofs from golden spire to spire that +have no equal for splendour in all the woods of the world. And over +London the desiderate city the sky is so deep a blue that by this +alone the traveller may know where he has come, and may end his +fortunate journey. Nor yet for any colour of the sky is there too +great heat in London, for along its ways a wind blows always from the +South gently and cools the city. + +"Such, O Friend of God, is indeed the city of London, lying very far +off on the yonder side of Bagdad, without a peer for beauty or +excellence of its ways among the towns of the earth or cities of song; +and even so, as I have told, its fortunate citizens dwell, with their +hearts ever devising beautiful things and from the beauty of their own +fair work that is more abundant around them every year, receiving new +inspirations to work things more beautiful yet." + +"And is their government good?" the Sultan said. + +"It is most good," said the hasheesh-eater, and fell backwards upon +the floor. + +He lay thus and was silent. And when the Sultan perceived he would +speak no more that night he smiled and lightly applauded. + +And there was envy in that palace, in lands beyond Bagdad, of all that +dwell in London. + + + + + +Thirteen at Table + +In front of a spacious fireplace of the old kind, when the logs were +well alight, and men with pipes and glasses were gathered before it in +great easeful chairs, and the wild weather outside and the comfort +that was within, and the season of the year--for it was Christmas--and +the hour of the night, all called for the weird or uncanny, then out +spoke the ex-master of foxhounds and told this tale. + +I once had an odd experience too. It was when I had the Bromley and +Sydenham, the year I gave them up--as a matter of fact it was the last +day of the season. It was no use going on because there were no foxes +left in the county, and London was sweeping down on us. You could see +it from the kennels all along the skyline like a terrible army in +grey, and masses of villas every year came skirmishing down our +valleys. Our coverts were mostly on the hills, and as the town came +down upon the valleys the foxes used to leave them and go right away +out of the county and they never returned. I think they went by night +and moved great distances. Well it was early April and we had drawn +blank all day, and at the last draw of all, the very last of the +season, we found a fox. He left the covert with his back to London and +its railways and villas and wire and slipped away towards the chalk +country and open Kent. I felt as I once felt as a child on one +summer's day when I found a door in a garden where I played left +luckily ajar, and I pushed it open and the wide lands were before me +and waving fields of corn. + +We settled down into a steady gallop and the fields began to drift by +under us, and a great wind arose full of fresh breath. We left the +clay lands where the bracken grows and came to a valley at the edge of +the chalk. As we went down into it we saw the fox go up the other side +like a shadow that crosses the evening, and glide into a wood that +stood on the top. We saw a flash of primroses in the wood and we were +out the other side, hounds hunting perfectly and the fox still going +absolutely straight. It began to dawn on me then that we were in for a +great hunt, I took a deep breath when I thought of it; the taste of +the air of that perfect Spring afternoon as it came to one galloping, +and the thought of a great run, were together like some old rare wine. +Our faces now were to another valley, large fields led down to it, +with easy hedges, at the bottom of it a bright blue stream went +singing and a rambling village smoked, the sunlight on the opposite +slopes danced like a fairy; and all along the top old woods were +frowning, but they dreamed of Spring. The "field" had fallen of and +were far behind and my only human companion was James, my old first +whip, who had a hound's instinct, and a personal animosity against a +fox that even embittered his speech. + +Across the valley the fox went as straight as a railway line, and +again we went without a check straight through the woods at the top. I +remember hearing men sing or shout as they walked home from work, and +sometimes children whistled; the sounds came up from the village to +the woods at the top of the valley. After that we saw no more +villages, but valley after valley arose and fell before us as though +we were voyaging some strange and stormy sea, and all the way before +us the fox went dead up-wind like the fabulous Flying Dutchman. There +was no one in sight now but my first whip and me, we had both of us +got on to our second horses as we drew the last covert. + +Two or three times we checked in those great lonely valleys beyond the +village, but I began to have inspirations, I felt a strange certainty +within me that this fox was going on straight up-wind till he died or +until night came and we could hunt no longer, so I reversed ordinary +methods and only cast straight ahead and always we picked up the scent +again at once. I believe that this fox was the last one left in the +villa-haunted lands and that he was prepared to leave them for remote +uplands far from men, that if we had come the following day he would +not have been there, and that we just happened to hit off his journey. + +Evening began to descend upon the valleys, still the hounds drifted +on, like the lazy but unresting shadows of clouds upon a summer's day, +we heard a shepherd calling to his dog, we saw two maidens move +towards a hidden farm, one of them singing softly; no other sounds, +but ours, disturbed the leisure and the loneliness of haunts that +seemed not yet to have known the inventions of steam and gun-powder +(even as China, they say, in some of her further mountains does not +yet know that she has fought Japan). + +And now the day and our horses were wearing out, but that resolute fox +held on. I began to work out the run and to wonder where we were. The +last landmark I had ever seen before must have been over five miles +back and from there to the start was at least ten miles more. If only +we could kill! Then the sun set. I wondered what chance we had of +killing our fox. I looked at James' face as he rode beside me. He did +not seem to have lost any confidence yet his horse was as tired as +mine. It was a good clear twilight and the scent was as strong as +ever, and the fences were easy enough, but those valleys were terribly +trying and they still rolled on and on. It looked as if the light +would outlast all possible endurance both of the fox and the horses, +if the scent held good and he did not go to ground, otherwise night +would end it. For long we had seen no houses and no roads, only chalk +slopes with the twilight on them, and here and there some sheep, and +scattered copses darkening in the evening. At some moment I seemed to +realise all at once that the light was spent and that darkness was +hovering, I looked at James, he was solemnly shaking his head. +Suddenly in a little wooded valley we saw climb over the oaks the +red-brown gables of a queer old house, at that instant I saw the fox +scarcely heading by fifty yards. We blundered through a wood into full +sight of the house, but no avenue led up to it or even a path nor were +there any signs of wheel-marks anywhere. Already lights shone here and +there in windows. We were in a park, and a fine park, but unkempt +beyond credibility; brambles grew everywhere. It was too dark to see +the fox any more but we knew he was dead beat, the hounds were just +before us,--and a four-foot railing of oak. I shouldn't have tried it +on a fresh horse the beginning of a run, and here was a horse near his +last gasp. But what a run! an event standing out in a lifetime, and +the hounds close up on their fox, slipping into the darkness as I +hesitated. I decided to try it. My horse rose about eight inches and +took it fair with his breast, and the oak log flew into handfuls of +wet decay--it rotten with years. And then we were on a lawn and at the +far end of it the hounds were tumbling over their fox. Fox, hounds and +light were all done together at the of a twenty-mile point. We made +some noise then, but nobody came out of the queer old house. + +I felt pretty stiff as I walked round to the hall door with the mask +and the brush while James went with the hounds and the two horses to +look for the stables. I rang a bell marvellously encrusted with rust, +and after a long while the door opened a little way revealing a hall +with much old armour in it and the shabbiest butler that I have ever +known. + +I asked him who lived there. Sir Richard Arlen. I explained that my +horse could go no further that night and that I wished to ask Sir +Richard Arlen for a bed for the night. + +"O, no one ever comes here, sir," said the butler. + +I pointed out that I had come. + +"I don't think it would be possible, sir," he said. + +This annoyed me and I asked to see Sir Richard, and insisted until he +came. Then I apologised and explained the situation. He looked only +fifty, but a 'Varsity oar on the wall with the date of the early +seventies, made him older than that; his face had something of the shy +look of the hermit; he regretted that he had not room to put me up. I +was sure that this was untrue, also I had to be put up there, there +was nowhere else within miles, so I almost insisted. Then to my +astonishment he turned to the butler and they talked it over in an +undertone. At last they seemed to think that they could manage it, +though clearly with reluctance. It was by now seven o' clock and Sir +Richard told me he dined at half past seven. There was no question of +clothes for me other than those I stood in, as my host was shorter and +broader. He showed me presently to the drawing-room and there he +reappeared before half past seven in evening dress and a white +waistcoat. The drawing-room was large and contained old furniture but +it was rather worn than venerable, an Aubusson carpet flapped about +the floor, the wind seemed momently to enter the room, and old +draughts haunted corners; the stealthy feet of rats that were never at +rest indicated the extent of the ruin that time had wrought in the +wainscot; somewhere far off a shutter flapped to and fro, the +guttering candles were insufficient to light so large a room. The +gloom that these things suggested was quite in keeping with Sir +Richard's first remark to me after he entered the room: "I must tell +you, sir, that I have led a wicked life. O, a very wicked life." + +Such confidences from a man much older than oneself after one has +known him for half an hour are so rare that any possible answer merely +does not suggest itself. I said rather slowly, "O, really," and +chiefly to forestall another such remark I said "What a charming house +you have." + +"Yes," he said, "I have not left it for nearly forty years. Since I +left the 'Varsity. One is young there, you know, and one has +opportunities; but I make no excuses, no excuses." And the door +slipping its rusty latch, came drifting on the draught into the room, +and the long carpet flapped and the hangings upon the walls, then the +draught fell rustling away and the door slammed to again. + +"Ah, Marianne," he said, "we have a guest to-night. Mr. Linton. This +is Marianne Gib." And everything became clear to me. "Mad," I said to +myself, for no one had entered the room. + +The rats ran up the length of the room behind the wainscot +ceaselessly, and the wind unlatched the door again and the folds of +the carpet fluttered up to our feet and stopped there, for our weight +held it down. + +"Let me introduce Mr. Linton," said my host--"Lady Mary Errinjer." + +The door slammed back again. I bowed politely. Even had I been invited +I should have humoured him, but it was the very least that an +uninvited guest could do. + +This kind of thing happened eleven times, the rustling, and the +fluttering of the carpet and the footsteps of the rats, and the +restless door, and then the sad voice of my host introducing me to +phantoms. Then for some while we waited while I struggled with the +situation; conversation flowed slowly. And again the draught came +trailing up the room, while the flaring candles filled it with +hurrying shadows. "Ah, late again, Cicely," said my host in his soft, +mournful way. "Always late, Cicely." Then I went down to dinner with +that man and his mind and the twelve phantoms that haunted it. I found +a long table with fine old silver on it and places laid for fourteen. +The butler was now in evening dress, there were fewer draughts in the +dining-room, the scene was less gloomy there. "Will you sit next to +Rosalind at the other end," Richard said to me. "She always takes the +head of the table, I wronged her most of all." I said, "I shall be +delighted." + +I looked at the butler closely, but never did I see by any expression +of his face or by anything that he did any suggestion that he waited +upon less than fourteen people in the complete possession of all their +faculties. Perhaps a dish appeared to be refused more often than taken +but every glass was equally filled with champagne. At first I found +little to say, but when Sir Richard speaking from the far end of the +table said, "You are tired, Mr. Linton," I was reminded that I owed +something to a host upon whom I had forced myself. It was excellent +champagne and with the help of a second glass I made the effort to +begin a conversation with a Miss Helen Errold for whom the place upon +one side of me was laid. It came more easy to me very soon, I +frequently paused in my monologue, like Mark Anthony, for a reply, and +sometimes I turned and spoke to Miss Rosalind Smith. Sir Richard at +the other end talked sorrowfully on, he spoke as a condemned man might +speak to his judge, and yet somewhat as a judge might speak to one +that he once condemned wrongly. My own mind began to turn to mournful +things. I drank another glass of champagne, but I was still thirsty. I +felt as if all the moisture in my body had been blown away over the +downs of Kent by the wind up which we had galloped. Still I was not +talking enough; my host was looking at me. I made another effort, +after all I had something to talk about, a twenty-mile point is not +often seen in a lifetime, especially south of the Thames. I began to +describe the run to Rosalind Smith. I could see then that my host was +pleased, the sad look in his face gave a kind of a flicker, like mist +upon the mountains on a miserable day when a faint puff comes from the +sea and the mist would lift if it could. And the butler refilled my +glass very attentively. I asked her first if she hunted, and paused +and began my story. I told her where we had found the fox and how fast +and straight he had gone, and how I had got through the village by +keeping to the road, while the little gardens and wire, and then the +river, had stopped the rest of the field. I told her the kind of +country that we crossed and how splendid it looked in the Spring, and +how mysterious the valleys were as soon as the twilight came, and what +a glorious horse I had and how wonderfully he went. I was so fearfully +thirsty after the great hunt that I had to stop for a moment now and +then, but I went on with my description of that famous run, for I had +warmed to the subject, and after all there was nobody to tell of it +but me except my old whipper-in, and "the old fellow's probably drunk +by now," I thought. I described to her minutely the exact spot in the +run at which it had come to me clearly that this was going to be the +greatest hunt in the whole history of Kent. Sometimes I forgot +incidents that had happened as one well may in a run of twenty miles, +and then I had to fill in the gaps by inventing. I was pleased to be +able to make the party go off well by means of my conversation, and +besides that the lady to whom I was speaking was extremely pretty: I +do not mean in a flesh and blood kind of way but there were little +shadowy lines about the chair beside me that hinted at an unusually +graceful figure when Miss Rosalind Smith was alive; and I began to +perceive that what I first mistook for the smoke of guttering candles +and a table-cloth waving in the draught was in reality an extremely +animated company who listened, and not without interest, to my story +of by far the greatest hunt that the world had ever known: indeed I +told them that I would confidently go further and predict that never +in the history of the world would there be such a run again. Only my +throat was terribly dry. And then as it seemed they wanted to hear +more about my horse. I had forgotten that I had come there on a horse, +but when they reminded me it all came back; they looked so charming +leaning over the table intent upon what I said, that I told them +everything they wanted to know. Everything was going so pleasantly if +only Sir Richard would cheer up. I heard his mournful voice every now +and then--these were very pleasant people if only he would take them +the right way. I could understand that he regretted his past, but the +early seventies seemed centuries away and I felt sure that he +misunderstood these ladies, they were not revengeful as he seemed to +suppose. I wanted to show him how cheerful they really were, and so I +made a joke and they an laughed at it, and then I chaffed them a bit, +especially Rosalind, and nobody resented it in the very least. And +still Sir Richard sat there with that unhappy look, like one that has +ended weeping because it is vain and has not the consolation even of +tears. + +We had been a long time there and many of the candles had burned out, +but there was light enough. I was glad to have an audience for my +exploit, and being happy myself I was determined Sir Richard should +be. I made more jokes and they still laughed good-naturedly; some of +the jokes were a little broad perhaps but no harm was meant. And +then--I do not wish to excuse myself--but I had had a harder day than +I ever had had before and without knowing it I must have been +completely exhausted; in this state the champagne had found me, and +what would have been harmless at any other time must somehow have got +the better of me when quite tired out--anyhow I went too far, I made +some joke--I cannot in the least remember what--that suddenly seemed +to offend them. I felt all at once a commotion in the air, I looked up +and saw that they had all arisen from the table and were sweeping +towards the door: I had not time to open it but it blew open on a +wind, I could scarcely see what Sir Richard was doing because only two +candles were left, I think the rest blew out when the ladies suddenly +rose. I sprang up to apologise, to assure them--and then fatigue +overcame me as it had overcome my horse at the last fence, I clutched +at the table but the cloth came away and then I fell. The fall, and +the darkness on the floor and the pent up fatigue of the day overcame +me all three together. + +The sun shone over glittering fields and in at a bedroom window and +thousands of birds were chanting to the Spring, and there I was in an +old four-poster bed in a quaint old panelled bedroom, fully dressed +and wearing long muddy boots; someone had taken my spurs and that was +all. For a moment I failed to realise and then it all came back, my +enormity and the pressing need of an abject apology to Sir Richard. I +pulled an embroidered bell rope until the butler came. He came in +perfectly cheerful and indescribably shabby. I asked him if Sir +Richard was up, and he said he had just gone down, and told me to my +amazement that it was twelve o'clock. I asked to be shown in to Sir +Richard at once. He was in his smoking-room. "Good morning," he said +cheerfully the moment I went in. I went directly to the matter in +hand. "I fear that I insulted some ladies in your house--" I began. + +"You did indeed," he said, "You did indeed." And then he burst into +tears and took me by the hand. "How can I ever thank you?" he said to +me then. "We have been thirteen at table for thirty years and I never +dared to insult them because I had wronged them all, and now you have +done it and I know they will never dine here again." And for a long +time he still held my hand, and then he gave it a grip and a kind of a +shake which I took to mean "Goodbye" and I drew my hand away then and +left the house. And I found James in the stables with the hounds and +asked him how he had fared, and James, who is a man of very few words, +said he could not rightly remember, and I got my spurs from the butler +and climbed on to my horse and slowly we rode away from that queer old +house, and slowly we wended home, for the hounds were footsore but +happy and the horses were tired still. And when we recalled that the +hunting season was ended we turned our faces to Spring and thought of +the new things that try to replace the old. And that very year I +heard, and have often heard since, of dances and happier dinners at +Sir Richard Arlen's house. + + + + + +The City on Mallington Moor + +Besides the old shepherd at Lingwold whose habits render him +unreliable I am probably the only person that has ever seen the city +on Mallington Moor. + +I had decided one year to do no London season; partly because of the +ugliness of the things in the shops, partly because of the unresisted +invasions of German bands, partly perhaps because some pet parrots in +the oblong where I lived had learned to imitate cab-whistles; but +chiefly because of late there had seized me in London a quite +unreasonable longing for large woods and waste spaces, while the very +thought of little valleys underneath copses full of bracken and +foxgloves was a torment to me and every summer in London the longing +grew worse till the thing was becoming intolerable. So I took a stick +and a knapsack and began walking northwards, starting at Tetherington +and sleeping at inns, where one could get real salt, and the waiter +spoke English and where one had a name instead of a number; and though +the tablecloth might be dirty the windows opened so that the air was +clean, where one had the excellent company of farmers and men of the +wold, who could not be thoroughly vulgar, because they had not the +money to be so even if they had wished it. At first the novelty was +delightful, and then one day in a queer old inn up Uthering way, +beyond Lingwold, I heard for the first time the rumour of the city +said to be on Mallington Moor. They spoke of it quite casually over +their glasses of beer, two farmers at the inn. "They say the queer +folk be at Mallington with their city," one farmer said. "Travelling +they seem to be," said the other. And more came in then and the rumour +spread. And then, such are the contradictions of our little likes and +dislikes and all the whims that drive us, that I, who had come so far +to avoid cities, had a great longing all of a sudden for throngs again +and the great hives of Man, and then and there determined on that +bright Sunday morning to come to Mallington and there search for the +city that rumour spoke of so strangely. + +Mallington Moor, from all that they said of it, was hardly a likely +place to find a thing by searching. It was a huge high moor, very +bleak and desolate and altogether trackless. It seemed a lonely place +from what they said. The Normans when they came had called it Mal Lieu +and afterwards Mallintown and so it changed to Mallington. Though what +a town can ever have had to do with a place so utterly desolate I do +not know. And before that some say that the Saxons called it Baplas, +which I believe to be a corruption of Bad Place. + +And beyond the mere rumour of a beautiful city all of white marble and +with a foreign look up on Mallington Moor, beyond this I could not +get. None of them had seen it himself, "only heard of it like," and my +questions, rather than stimulating conversation, would always stop it +abruptly. I was no more fortunate on the road to Mallington until the +Tuesday, when I was quite near it; I had been walking two days from +the inn where I had heard the rumour and could see the great hill +steep as a headland on which Mallington lay, standing up on the +skyline: the hill was covered with grass, where anything grew at all, +but Mallington Moor is all heather; it is just marked Moor on the map; +nobody goes there and they do not trouble to name it. It was there +where the gaunt hill first came into sight, by the roadside as I +enquired for the marble city of some labourers by the way, that I was +directed, partly I think in derision, to the old shepherd of Lingwold. +It appeared that he, following sometimes sheep that had strayed, and +wandering far from Lingwold, came sometimes up to the edge of +Mallington Moor, and that he would come back from these excursions and +shout through the villages, raving of a city of white marble and +gold-tipped minarets. And hearing me asking questions of this city +they had laughed and directed me to the shepherd of Lingwold. One +well-meant warning they gave me as I went--the old man was not +reliable. + +And late that evening I saw the thatches of Lingwold sheltering under +the edge of that huge hill that Atlas-like held up those miles of moor +to the great winds and heaven. + +They knew less of the city in Lingwold than elsewhere but they knew +the whereabouts of the man I wanted, though they seemed a little +ashamed of him. There was an inn in Lingwold that gave me shelter, +whence in the morning, equipped with purchases, I set out to find +their shepherd. And there he was on the edge of Mallington Moor +standing motionless, gazing stupidly at his sheep; his hands trembled +continually and his eyes had a blear look, but he was quite sober, +wherein all Lingwold had wronged him. + +And then and there I asked him of the city and he said he had never +heard tell of any such place. And I said, "Come, come, you must pull +yourself together." And he looked angrily at me; but when he saw me +draw from amongst my purchases a full bottle of whiskey and a big +glass he became more friendly. As I poured out the whiskey I asked him +again about the marble city on Mallington Moor but he seemed quite +honestly to know nothing about it. The amount of whiskey he drank was +quite incredible, but I seldom express surprise and once more I asked +him the way to the wonderful city. His hand was steadier now and his +eyes more intelligent and he said that he had heard something of some +such city, but his memory was evidently blurred and he was still +unable to give me useful directions. I consequently gave him another +tumbler, which he drank off like the first without any water, and +almost at once he was a different man. The trembling in his hands +stopped altogether, his eye became as quick as a younger man's, he +answered my questions readily and frankly, and, what was more +important to me still, his old memory became alert and clear for even +minutest details. His gratitude to myself I need not mention, for I +make no pretence that I bought the bottle of whiskey that the old +shepherd enjoyed so much without at least some thought of my own +advantage. Yet it was pleasant to reflect that it was due to me that +he had pulled himself together and steadied his shaking hand and +cleared his mind, recovered his memory and his self-respect. He spoke +to me quite clearly, no longer slurring his words; he had seen the +city first one moonlight night when he was lost in the mist on the big +moor, he had wandered far in the mist, and when it lifted he saw the +city by moonlight. He had no food, but luckily had his flask. There +never was such a city, not even in books. Travellers talked sometimes +of Venice seen from the sea, there might be such a place or there +might not, but, whether or no, it was nothing to the city on +Mallington Moor. Men who read books had talked to him in his time, +hundreds of books, but they never could tell of any city like this. +Why, the place was all of marble, roads, walls and palaces, all pure +white marble, and the tops of the tall thin spires were entirely of +gold. And they were queer folk in the city even for foreigners. And +there were camels, but I cut him short for I thought I could judge for +myself, if there was such a place, and, if not, I was wasting my time +as well as a pint of good whiskey. So I got him to speak of the way, +and after more circumlocution than I needed and more talk of the city +he pointed to a tiny track on the black earth just beside us, a little +twisty way you could hardly see. + +I said the moor was trackless; untrodden of man or dog it certainly +was and seemed to have less to do with the ways of man than any waste +I have seen, but the track the old shepherd showed me, if track it +was, was no more than the track of a hare--an elf-path the old man +called it, Heaven knows what he meant. And then before I left him he +insisted on giving me his flask with the queer strong rum it +contained. Whiskey brings out in some men melancholy, in some +rejoicing, with him it was clearly generosity and he insisted until I +took his rum, though I did not mean to drink it. It was lonely up +there, he said, and bitter cold and the city hard to find, being set +in a hollow, and I should need the rum, and he had never seen the +marble city except on days when he had had his flask: he seemed to +regard that rusted iron flask as a sort of mascot, and in the end I +took it. + +I followed that odd, faint track on the black earth under the heather +till I came to the big grey stone beyond the horizon, where the track +divides into two, and I took the one to the left as the old man told +me. I knew by another stone that I saw far off that I had not lost my +way, nor the old man lied. + +And just as I hoped to see the city's ramparts before the gloaming +fell on that desolate place, I suddenly saw a long high wall of +whiteness with pinnacles here and there thrown up above it, floating +towards me silent and grim as a secret, and knew it for that evil +thing the mist. The sun, though low, was shining on every sprig of +heather, the green and scarlet mosses were shining with it too, it +seemed incredible that in three minutes' time all those colours would +be gone and nothing left all round but a grey darkness. I gave up hope +of finding the city that day, a broader path than mine could have been +quite easily lost. I hastily chose for my bed a thick patch of +heather, wrapped myself in a waterproof cloak, and lay down and made +myself comfortable. And then the mist came. It came like the careful +pulling of lace curtains, then like the drawing of grey blinds; it +shut out the horizon to the north, then to the east and west; it +turned the whole sky white and hid the moor; it came down on it like a +metropolis, only utterly silent, silent and white as tombstones. + +And then I was glad of that strange strong rum, or whatever it was in +the flask that the shepherd gave me, for I did not think that the mist +would clear till night, and I feared the night would be cold. So I +nearly emptied the flask; and, sooner than I expected, I fell asleep, +for the first night out as a rule one does not sleep at once but is +kept awake some while by the little winds and the unfamiliar sound of +the things that wander at night, and that cry to one another far-off +with their queer, faint voices; one misses them afterwards when one +gets to houses again. But I heard none of these sounds in the mist +that evening. + +And then I woke and found that the mist was gone and the sun was just +disappearing under the moor, and I knew that I had not slept for as +long as I thought. And I decided to go on while I could, for I thought +that I was not very far from the city. + +I went on and on along the twisty track, bits of the mist came down +and filled the hollows but lifted again at once so that I saw my way. +The twilight faded as I went, a star appeared, and I was able to see +the track no longer. I could go no further that night, yet before I +lay down to sleep I decided to go and look over the edge of a wide +depression in the moor that I saw a little way off. So I left the +track and walked a few hundred yards, and when I got to the edge the +hollow was full of mist all white underneath me. Another star appeared +and a cold wind arose, and with the wind the mist flapped away like a +curtain. And there was the city. + +Nothing the shepherd had said was the least untrue or even +exaggerated. The poor old man had told the simple truth, there is not +a city like it in the world. What he had called thin spires were +minarets, but the little domes on the top were clearly pure gold as he +said. There were the marble terraces he described and the pure white +palaces covered with carving and hundreds of minarets. The city was +obviously of the East and yet where there should have been crescents +on the domes of the minarets there were golden suns with rays, and +wherever one looked one saw things that obscured its origin. I walked +down to it, and, passing through a wicket gate of gold in a low wall +of white marble, I entered the city. The heather went right up to the +city's edge and beat against the marble wall whenever the wind blew +it. Lights began to twinkle from high windows of blue glass as I +walked up the white street, beautiful copper lanterns were lit up and +let down from balconies by silver chains, from doors ajar came the +sound of voices singing, and then I saw the men. Their faces were +rather grey than black, and they wore beautiful robes of coloured silk +with hems embroidered with gold and some with copper, and sometimes +pacing down the marble ways with golden baskets hung on each side of +them I saw the camels of which the old shepherd spoke. + +The people had kindly faces, but, though they were evidently friendly +to strangers, I could not speak with them being ignorant of their +language, nor were the sounds of the syllables they used like any +language I had ever heard: they sounded more like grouse. + +When I tried to ask them by signs whence they had come with their city +they would only point to the moon, which was bright and full and was +shining fiercely on those marble ways till the city danced in light. +And now there began appearing one by one, slipping softly out through +windows, men with stringed instruments in the balconies. They were +strange instruments with huge bulbs of wood, and they played softly on +them and very beautifully, and their queer voices softly sang to the +music weird dirges of the griefs of their native land wherever that +may be. And far off in the heart of the city others were singing too, +the sound of it came to me wherever I roamed, not loud enough to +disturb my thoughts, but gently turning the mind to pleasant things. +Slender carved arches of marble, as delicate almost as lace, crossed +and re-crossed the ways wherever I went. There was none of that hurry +of which foolish cities boast, nothing ugly or sordid so far as I +could see. I saw that it was a city of beauty and song. I wondered how +they had travelled with all that marble, how they had laid it down on +Mallington Moor, whence they had come and what their resources were, +and determined to investigate closely next morning, for the old +shepherd had not troubled his head to think how the city came, he had +only noted that the city was there (and of course no one believed him, +though that is partly his fault for his dissolute ways). But at night +one can see little and I had walked all day, so I determined to find a +place to rest in. And just as I was wondering whether to ask for +shelter of those silk-robed men by signs or whether to sleep outside +the walls and enter again in the morning, I came to a great archway in +one of the marble houses with two black curtains, embroidered below +with gold, hanging across it. Over the archway were carved apparently +in many tongues the words: "Here strangers rest." In Greek, Latin and +Spanish the sentence was repeated and there was writing also in the +language that you see on the walls of the great temples of Egypt, and +Arabic and what I took to be early Assyrian and one or two languages I +had never seen. I entered through the curtains and found a tesselated +marble court with golden braziers burning sleepy incense swinging by +chains from the roof, all round the walls were comfortable mattresses +lying upon the floor covered with cloths and silks. It must have been +ten o'clock and I was tired. Outside the music still softly filled the +streets, a man had set a lantern down on the marble way, five or six +sat down round him, and he was sonorously telling them a story. Inside +there were some already asleep on the beds, in the middle of the wide +court under the braziers a woman dressed in blue was singing very +gently, she did not move, but sung on and on, I never heard a song +that was so soothing. I lay down on one of the mattresses by the wall, +which was all inlaid with mosaics, and pulled over me some of the +cloths with their beautiful alien work, and almost immediately my +thoughts seemed part of the song that the woman was singing in the +midst of the court under the golden braziers that hung from the high +roof, and the song turned them to dreams, and so I fell asleep. + +A small wind having arisen, I was awakened by a sprig of heather that +beat continually against my face. It was morning on Mallington Moor, +and the city was quite gone. + + + + + +Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn + +In the Hall of the Ancient Company of Milkmen round the great +fireplace at the end, when the winter logs are burning and all the +craft are assembled they tell to-day, as their grandfathers told +before them, why the milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. + +When dawn comes creeping over the edges of hills, peers through the +tree-trunks making wonderful shadows, touches the tops of tall columns +of smoke going up from awakening cottages in the valleys, and breaks +all golden over Kentish fields, when going on tip-toe thence it comes +to the walls of London and slips all shyly up those gloomy streets the +milkman perceives it and shudders. + +A man may be a Milkman's Working Apprentice, may know what borax is +and how to mix it, yet not for that is the story told to him. There +are five men alone that tell that story, five men appointed by the +Master of the Company, by whom each place is filled as it falls +vacant, and if you do not hear it from one of them you hear the story +from no one and so can never know why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + +It is the way of one of these five men, greybeards all and milkmen +from infancy, to rub his hands by the fire when the great logs burn, +and to settle himself more easily in his chair, perhaps to sip some +drink far other than milk, then to look round to see that none are +there to whom it would not be fitting the tale should be told and, +looking from face to face and seeing none but the men of the Ancient +Company, and questioning mutely the rest of the five with his eyes, if +some of the five be there, and receiving their permission, to cough +and to tell the tale. And a great hush falls in the Hall of the +Ancient Company, and something about the shape of the roof and the +rafters makes the tale resonant all down the hall so that the youngest +hears it far away from the fire and knows, and dreams of the day when +perhaps he will tell himself why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + +Not as one tells some casual fact is it told, nor is it commented on +from man to man, but it is told by that great fire only and when the +occasion and the stillness of the room and the merit of the wine and +the profit of all seem to warrant it in the opinion of the five +deputed men: then does one of them tell it, as I have said, not +heralded by any master of ceremonies but as though it arose out of the +warmth of the fire before which his knotted hands would chance to be; +not a thing learned by rote, but told differently by each teller, and +differently according to his mood, yet never has one of them dared to +alter its salient points, there is none so base among the Company of +Milkmen. The Company of Powderers for the Face know of this story and +have envied it, the Worthy Company of Chin-Barbers, and the Company of +Whiskerers; but none have heard it in the Milkmen's Hall, through +whose wall no rumour of the secret goes, and though they have invented +tales of their own Antiquity mocks them. + +This mellow story was ripe with honourable years when milkmen wore +beaver hats, its origin was still mysterious when smocks were the +vogue, men asked one another when Stuarts were on the throne (and only +the Ancient Company knew the answer) why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. It is all for envy of this tale's reputation that +the Company of Powderers for the Face have invented the tale that they +too tell of an evening, "Why the Dog Barks when he hears the step of +the Baker"; and because probably all men know that tale the Company of +the Powderers for the Face have dared to consider it famous. Yet it +lacks mystery and is not ancient, is not fortified with classical +allusion, has no secret lore, is common to all who care for an idle +tale, and shares with "The Wars of the Elves," the Calf-butcher's +tale, and "The Story of the Unicorn and the Rose," which is the tale +of the Company of Horse-drivers, their obvious inferiority. + +But unlike all these tales so new to time, and many another that the +last two centuries tell, the tale that the milkmen tell ripples wisely +on, so full of quotation from the profoundest writers, so full of +recondite allusion, so deeply tinged with all the wisdom of man and +instructive with the experience of all times that they that hear it in +the Milkmen's Hall as they interpret allusion after allusion and trace +obscure quotation lose idle curiosity and forget to question why the +milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. + +You also, O my reader, give not yourself up to curiosity. Consider of +how many it is the bane. Would you to gratify this tear away the +mystery from the Milkmen's Hall and wrong the Ancient Company of +Milkmen? Would they if all the world knew it and it became a common +thing to tell that tale any more that they have told for the last four +hundred years? Rather a silence would settle upon their hall and a +universal regret for the ancient tale and the ancient winter evenings. +And though curiosity were a proper consideration yet even then this is +not the proper place nor this the proper occasion for the Tale. For +the proper place is only the Milkmen's Hall and the proper occasion +only when logs burn well and when wine has been deeply drunken, then +when the candles were burning well in long rows down to the dimness, +down to the darkness and mystery that lie at the end of the hall, then +were you one of the Company, and were I one of the five, would I rise +from my seat by the fireside and tell you with all the embellishments +that it has gleaned from the ages that story that is the heirloom of +the milkmen. And the long candles would burn lower and lower and +gutter and gutter away till they liquefied in their sockets, and +draughts would blow from the shadowy end of the hall stronger and +stronger till the shadows came after them, and still I would hold you +with that treasured story, not by any wit of mine but all for the sake +of its glamour and the times out of which it came; one by one the +candles would flare and die and, when all were gone, by the light of +ominous sparks when each milkman's face looks fearful to his fellow, +you would know, as now you cannot, why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + + + + + +The Bad Old Woman in Black + +The bad old woman in black ran down the street of the ox-butchers. + +Windows at once were opened high up in those crazy gables; heads were +thrust out: it was she. Then there arose the counsel of anxious +voices, calling sideways from window to window or across to opposite +houses. Why was she there with her sequins and bugles and old black +gown? Why had she left her dreaded house? On what fell errand she +hasted? + +They watched her lean, lithe figure, and the wind in that old black +dress, and soon she was gone from the cobbled street and under the +town's high gateway. She turned at once to her right and was hid from +the view of the houses. Then they all ran down to their doors, and +small groups formed on the pavement; there they took counsel together, +the eldest speaking first. Of what they had seen they said nothing, +for there was no doubt it was she; it was of the future they spoke, +and the future only. + +In what notorious thing would her errand end? What gains had tempted +her out from her fearful home? What brilliant but sinful scheme had +her genius planned? Above all, what future evil did this portend? Thus +at first it was only questions. And then the old grey-beards spoke, +each one to a little group; they had seen her out before, had known +her when she was younger, and had noted the evil things that had +followed her goings: the small groups listened well to their low and +earnest voices. No one asked questions now or guessed at her infamous +errand, but listened only to the wise old men who knew the things that +had been, and who told the younger men of the dooms that had come +before. + +Nobody knew how many times she had left her dreaded house; but the +oldest recounted all the times that they knew, and the way she had +gone each time, and the doom that had followed her going; and two +could remember the earthquake that there was in the street of the +shearers. + +So were there many tales of the times that were, told on the pavement +near the old green doors by the edge of the cobbled street, and the +experience that the aged men had bought with their white hairs might +be had cheap by the young. But from all their experience only this was +clear, that never twice in their lives had she done the same infamous +thing, and that the same calamity twice had never followed her goings. +Therefore it seemed that means were doubtful and few for finding out +what thing was about to befall; and an ominous feeling of gloom came +down on the street of the ox-butchers. And in the gloom grew fears of +the very worst. This comfort they only had when they put their fear +into words--that the doom that followed her goings had never yet been +anticipated. One feared that with magic she meant to move the moon; +and he would have dammed the high tide on the neighbouring coast, +knowing that as the moon attracted the sea the sea must attract the +moon, and hoping by his device to humble her spells. Another would +have fetched iron bars and clamped them across the street, remembering +the earthquake there was in the street of the shearers. Another would +have honoured his household gods, the little cat-faced idols seated +above his hearth, gods to whom magic was no unusual thing, and, having +paid their fees and honoured them well, would have put the whole case +before them. His scheme found favour with many, and yet at last was +rejected, for others ran indoors and brought out their gods, too, to +be honoured, till there was a herd of gods all seated there on the +pavement; yet would they have honoured them and put their case before +them but that a fat man ran up last of all, carefully holding under a +reverent arm his own two hound-faced gods, though he knew well--as, +indeed, all men must--that they were notoriously at war with the +little cat-faced idols. And although the animosities natural to faith +had all been lulled by the crisis, yet a look of anger had come into +the cat-like faces that no one dared disregard, and all perceived that +if they stayed a moment longer there would be flaming around them the +jealousy of the gods; so each man hastily took his idols home, leaving +the fat man insisting that his hound-faced gods should be honoured. + +Then there were schemes again and voices raised in debate, and many +new dangers feared and new plans made. + +But in the end they made no defence against danger, for they knew not +what it would be, but wrote upon parchment as a warning, and in order +that all might know: "_The bad old woman in black ran down the street +of the ox-butchers._" + + + + + +The Bird of the Difficult Eye + +Observant men and women that know their Bond Street well will +appreciate my astonishment when in a jewellers' shop I perceived that +nobody was furtively watching me. Not only this but when I even picked +up a little carved crystal to examine it no shop-assistants crowded +round me. I walked the whole length of the shop, still no one politely +followed. + +Seeing from this that some extraordinary revolution had occurred in +the jewelry business I went with my curiosity well aroused to a queer +old person half demon and half man who has an idol-shop in a byway of +the City and who keeps me informed of affairs at the Edge of the +World. And briefly over a pinch of heather incense that he takes by +way of snuff he gave me this tremendous information: that Mr. Neepy +Thang the son of Thangobrind had returned from the Edge of the World +and was even now in London. + +The information may not appear tremendous to those unacquainted with +the source of jewelry; but when I say that the only thief employed by +any West-end jeweller since famous Thangobrind's distressing doom is +this same Neepy Thang, and that for lightness of fingers and swiftness +of stockinged foot they have none better in Paris, it will be +understood why the Bond Street jewellers no longer cared what became +of their old stock. + +There were big diamonds in London that summer and a few considerable +sapphires. In certain astounding kingdoms behind the East strange +sovereigns missed from their turbans the heirlooms of ancient wars, +and here and there the keepers of crown jewels who had not heard the +stockinged feet of Thang, were questioned and died slowly. + +And the jewellers gave a little dinner to Thang at the Hotel Great +Magnificent; the windows had not been opened for five years and there +was wine at a guinea a bottle that you could not tell from champagne +and cigars at half a crown with a Havana label. Altogether it was a +splendid evening for Thang. + +But I have to tell of a far sadder thing than a dinner at a hotel. The +public require jewelry and jewelry must be obtained. I have to tell of +Neepy Thang's last journey. + +That year the fashion was emeralds. A man named Green had recently +crossed the Channel on a bicycle and the jewellers said that a green +stone would be particularly appropriate to commemorate the event and +recommended emeralds. + +Now a certain money-lender of Cheapside who had just been made a peer +had divided his gains into three equal parts; one for the purchase of +the peerage, country house and park, and the twenty thousand pheasants +that are absolutely essential, and one for the upkeep of the position, +while the third he banked abroad, partly to cheat the native +tax-gatherer and partly because it seemed to him that the days of the +Peerage were few and that he might at any moment be called upon to +start afresh elsewhere. In the upkeep of the position he included +jewelry for his wife and so it came about that Lord Castlenorman +placed an order with two well-known Bond-street jewellers named +Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell to the extent of £100,000 for a few +reliable emeralds. + +But the emeralds in stock were mostly small and shop-soiled and Neepy +Thang had to set out at once before he had had as much as a week in +London. I will briefly sketch his project. Not many knew it, for where +the form of business is blackmail the fewer creditors you have the +better (which of course in various degrees applies at all times). + +On the shores of the risky seas of Shiroora Shan grows one tree only +so that upon its branches if anywhere in the world there must build +its nest the Bird of the Difficult Eye. Neepy Thang had come by this +information, which was indeed the truth, that if the bird migrated to +Fairyland before the three eggs hatched out they would undoubtedly all +turn into emeralds, while if they hatched out first it would be a bad +business. + +When he had mentioned these eggs to Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell +they had said, "The very thing": they were men of few words, in +English, for it was not their native tongue. + +So Neepy Thang set out. He bought the purple ticket at Victoria +Station. He went by Herne Hill, Bromley and Bickley and passed St. +Mary Cray. At Eynsford he changed and taking a footpath along a +winding valley went wandering into the hills. And at the top of a hill +in a little wood, where all the anemones long since were over and the +perfume of mint and thyme from outside came drifting in with Thang, he +found once more the familiar path, age-old and fair as wonder, that +leads to the Edge of the World. Little to him were its sacred memories +that are one with the secret of earth, for he was on business, and +little would they be to me if I ever put them on paper. Let it suffice +that he went down that path going further and further from the fields +we know, and all the way he muttered to himself, "What if the eggs +hatch out and it be a bad business!" The glamour that is at all times +upon those lonely lands that lie at the back of the chalky hills of +Kent intensified as he went upon his journeys. Queerer and queerer +grew the things that he saw by little World-End Path. Many a twilight +descended upon that journey with all their mysteries, many a blaze of +stars; many a morning came flaming up to a tinkle of silvern horns; +till the outpost elves of Fairyland came in sight and the glittering +crests of Fairyland's three mountains betokened the journey's end. And +so with painful steps (for the shores of the world are covered with +huge crystals) he came to the risky seas of Shiroora Shan and saw them +pounding to gravel the wreckage of fallen stars, saw them and heard +their roar, those shipless seas that between earth and the fairies' +homes heave beneath some huge wind that is none of our four. And there +in the darkness on the grizzly coast, for darkness was swooping +slantwise down the sky as though with some evil purpose, there stood +that lonely, gnarled and deciduous tree. It was a bad place to be +found in after dark, and night descended with multitudes of stars, +beasts prowling in the blackness gluttered [See any dictionary, but in +vain.] at Neepy Thang. And there on a lower branch within easy reach +he clearly saw the Bird of the Difficult Eye sitting upon the nest for +which she is famous. Her face was towards those three inscrutable +mountains, far-off on the other side of the risky seas, whose hidden +valleys are Fairyland. Though not yet autumn in the fields we know, it +was close on midwinter here, the moment as Thang knew when those eggs +hatch out. Had he miscalculated and arrived a minute too late? Yet the +bird was even now about to migrate, her pinions fluttered and her gaze +was toward Fairyland. Thang hoped and muttered a prayer to those pagan +gods whose spite and vengeance he had most reason to fear. It seems +that it was too late or a prayer too small to placate them, for there +and then the stroke of midwinter came and the eggs hatched out in the +roar of Shiroora Shan or ever the bird was gone with her difficult eye +and it was a bad business indeed for Neepy Thang; I haven't the heart +to tell you any more. + +"'Ere," said Lord Castlenorman some few weeks later to Messrs. +Grosvenor and Campbell, "you aren't 'arf taking your time about those +emeralds." + + + + + +The Long Porter's Tale + +There are things that are known only to the long porter of Tong Tong +Tarrup as he sits and mumbles memories to himself in the little +bastion gateway. + +He remembers the war there was in the halls of the gnomes; and how the +fairies came for the opals once, which Tong Tong Tarrup has; and the +way that the giants went through the fields below, he watching from +his gateway: he remembers quests that are even yet a wonder to the +gods. Who dwells in those frozen houses on the high bare brink of the +world not even he has told me, and he is held to be garrulous. Among +the elves, the only living things ever seen moving at that awful +altitude where they quarry turquoise on Earth's highest crag, his name +is a byword for loquacity wherewith they mock the talkative. + +His favourite story if you offer him bash--the drug of which he is +fondest, and for which he will give his service in war to the elves +against the goblins, or vice-versa if the goblins bring him more--his +favourite story, when bodily soothed by the drug and mentally fiercely +excited, tells of a quest undertaken ever so long ago for nothing more +marketable than an old woman's song. + +Picture him telling it. An old man, lean and bearded, and almost +monstrously long, that lolled in a city's gateway on a crag perhaps +ten miles high; the houses for the most part facing eastward, lit by +the sun and moon and the constellations we know, but one house on the +pinnacle looking over the edge of the world and lit by the glimmer of +those unearthly spaces where one long evening wears away the stars: my +little offering of bash; a long forefinger that nipped it at once on a +stained and greedy thumb--all these are in the foreground of the +picture. In the background, the mystery of those silent houses and of +not knowing who their denizens were, or what service they had at the +hands of the long porter and what payment he had in return, and +whether he was mortal. + +Picture him in the gateway of this incredible town, having swallowed +my bash in silence, stretch his great length, lean back, and begin to +speak. + +It seems that one clear morning a hundred years ago, a visitor to Tong +Tong Tarrup was climbing up from the world. He had already passed +above the snow and had set his foot on a step of the earthward +stairway that goes down from Tong Tong Tarrup on to the rocks, when +the long porter saw him. And so painfully did he climb those easy +steps that the grizzled man on watch had long to wonder whether or not +the stranger brought him bash, the drug that gives a meaning to the +stars and seems to explain the twilight. And in the end there was not +a scrap of bash, and the stranger had nothing better to offer that +grizzled man than his mere story only. + +It seems that the stranger's name was Gerald Jones, and he always +lived in London; but once as a child he had been on a Northern moor. +It was so long ago that he did not remember how, only somehow or other +he walked alone on the moor, and all the ling was in flower. There was +nothing in sight but ling and heather and bracken, except, far off +near the sunset, on indistinct hills, there were little vague patches +that looked like the fields of men. With evening a mist crept up and +hid the hills, and still he went walking on over the moor. And then he +came to the valley, a tiny valley in the midst of the moor, whose +sides were incredibly steep. He lay down and looked at it through the +roots of the ling. And a long, long way below him, in a garden by a +cottage, with hollyhocks all round her that were taller than herself, +there sat an old woman on a wooden chair, singing in the evening. And +the man had taken a fancy to the song and remembered it after in +London, and whenever it came to his mind it made him think of +evenings--the kind you don't get in London--and he heard a soft wind +going idly over the moor and the bumble-bees in a hurry, and forgot +the noise of the traffic. And always, whenever he heard men speak of +Time, he grudged to Time most this song. Once afterwards he went to +that Northern moor again and found the tiny valley, but there was no +old woman in the garden, and no one was singing a song. And either +regret for the song that the old woman had sung, on a summer evening +twenty years away and daily receding, troubled his mind, or else the +wearisome work that he did in London, for he worked for a great firm +that was perfectly useless; and he grew old early, as men do in +cities. And at last, when melancholy brought only regret and the +uselessness of his work gained round him with age, he decided to +consult a magician. So to a magician he went and told him his +troubles, and particularly he told him how he had heard the song. "And +now," he said, "it is nowhere in the world." + +"Of course it is not in the world," the magician said, "but over the +Edge of the World you may easily find it." And he told the man that he +was suffering from flux of time and recommended a day at the Edge of +the World. Jones asked what part of the Edge of the World he should go +to, and the magician had heard Tong Tong Tarrup well spoken of; so he +paid him, as is usual, in opals, and started at once on the journey. +The ways to that town are winding; he took the ticket at Victoria +Station that they only give if they know you: he went past Bleth: he +went along the Hills of Neol-Hungar and came to the Gap of Poy. All +these are in that part of the world that pertains to the fields we +know; but beyond the Gap of Poy on those ordinary plains, that so +closely resemble Sussex, one first meets the unlikely. A line of +common grey hills, the Hills of Sneg, may be seen at the edge of the +plain from the Gap of Poy; it is there that the incredible begins, +infrequently at first, but happening more and more as you go up the +hills. For instance, descending once into Poy Plains, the first thing +that I saw was an ordinary shepherd watching a flock of ordinary +sheep. I looked at them for some time and nothing happened, when, +without a word, one of the sheep walked up to the shepherd and +borrowed his pipe and smoked it--an incident that struck me as +unlikely; but in the Hills of Sneg I met an honest politician. Over +these plains went Jones and over the Hills of Sneg, meeting at first +unlikely things, and then incredible things, till he came to the long +slope beyond the hills that leads up to the Edge of the World, and +where, as all guidebooks tell, anything may happen. You might at the +foot of this slope see here and there things that could conceivably +occur in the fields we know; but soon these disappeared, and the +traveller saw nothing but fabulous beasts, browsing on flowers as +astounding as themselves, and rocks so distorted that their shapes had +clearly a meaning, being too startling to be accidental. Even the +trees were shockingly unfamiliar, they had so much to say, and they +leant over to one another whenever they spoke and struck grotesque +attitudes and leered. Jones saw two fir-trees fighting. The effect of +these scenes on his nerves was very severe; still he climbed on, and +was much cheered at last by the sight of a primrose, the only familiar +thing he had seen for hours, but it whistled and skipped away. He saw +the unicorns in their secret valley. Then night in a sinister way +slipped over the sky, and there shone not only the stars, but lesser +and greater moons, and he heard dragons rattling in the dark. + +With dawn there appeared above him among its amazing crags the town of +Tong Tong Tarrup, with the light on its frozen stairs, a tiny cluster +of houses far up in the sky. He was on the steep mountain now: great +mists were leaving it slowly, and revealing, as they trailed away, +more and more astonishing things. Before the mist had all gone he +heard quite near him, on what he had thought was bare mountain, the +sound of a heavy galloping on turf. He had come to the plateau of the +centaurs. And all at once he saw them in the mist: there they were, +the children of fable, five enormous centaurs. Had he paused on +account of any astonishment he had not come so far: he strode on over +the plateau, and came quite near to the centaurs. It is never the +centaurs' wont to notice men; they pawed the ground and shouted to one +another in Greek, but they said no word to him. Nevertheless they +turned and stared at him when he left them, and when he had crossed +the plateau and still went on, all five of them cantered after to the +edge of their green land; for above the high green plateau of the +centaurs is nothing but naked mountains, and the last green thing that +is seen by the mountaineer as he travels to Tong Tong Tarrup is the +grass that the centaurs trample. He came into the snow fields that the +mountain wears like a cape, its head being bare above it, and still +climbed on. The centaurs watched him with increasing wonder. + +Not even fabulous beasts were near him now, nor strange demoniac +trees--nothing but snow and the clean bare crag above it on which was +Tong Tong Tarrup. All day he climbed and evening found him above the +snow-line; and soon he came to the stairway cut in the rock and in +sight of that grizzled man, the long porter of Tong Tong Tarrup, +sitting mumbling amazing memories to himself and expecting in vain +from the stranger a gift of bash. + +It seems that as soon as the stranger arrived at the bastion gateway, +tired though he was, he demanded lodgings at once that commanded a +good view of the Edge of the World. But the long porter, that grizzled +man, disappointed of his bash, demanded the stranger's story to add to +his memories before he would show him the way. And this is the story, +if the long porter has told me the truth and if his memory is still +what it was. And when the story was told, the grizzled man arose, and, +dangling his musical keys, went up through door after door and by many +stairs and led the stranger to the top-most house, the highest roof in +the world, and in its parlour showed him the parlour window. There the +tired stranger sat down in a chair and gazed out of the window sheer +over the Edge of the World. The window was shut, and in its glittering +panes the twilight of the World's Edge blazed and danced, partly like +glow-worms' lamps and partly like the sea; it went by rippling, full +of wonderful moons. But the traveller did not look at the wonderful +moons. For from the abyss there grew with their roots in far +constellations a row of hollyhocks, and amongst them a small green +garden quivered and trembled as scenes tremble in water; higher up, +ling in bloom was floating upon the twilight, more and more floated up +till all the twilight was purple; the little green garden low down was +hung in the midst of it. And the garden down below, and the ling all +round it, seemed all to be trembling and drifting on a song. For the +twilight was full of a song that sang and rang along the edges of the +World, and the green garden and the ling seemed to flicker and ripple +with it as the song rose and fell, and an old woman was singing it +down in the garden. A bumble-bee sailed across from over the Edge of +the World. And the song that was lapping there against the coasts of +the World, and to which the stars were dancing, was the same that he +had heard the old woman sing long since down in the valley in the +midst of the Northern moor. + +But that grizzled man, the long porter, would not let the stranger +stay, because he brought him no bash, and impatiently he shouldered +him away, himself not troubling to glance through the World's +outermost window, for the lands that Time afflicts and the spaces that +Time knows not are all one to that grizzled man, and the bash that he +eats more profoundly astounds his mind than anything man can show him +either in the World we know or over the Edge. And, bitterly +protesting, the traveller went back and down again to the World. + + . . . . . + +Accustomed as I am to the incredible from knowing the Edge of the +World, the story presents difficulties to me. Yet it may be that the +devastation wrought by Time is merely local, and that outside the +scope of his destruction old songs are still being sung by those that +we deem dead. I try to hope so. And yet the more I investigate the +story that the long porter told me in the town of Tong Tong Tarrup the +more plausible the alternative theory appears--that that grizzled man +is a liar. + + + + + +The Loot of Loma + +Coming back laden with the loot of Loma, the four tall men looked +earnestly to the right; to the left they durst not, for the precipice +there that had been with them so long went sickly down on to a bank of +clouds, and how much further below that only their fears could say. + +Loma lay smoking, a city of ruin, behind them, all its defenders dead; +there was no one left to pursue them, and yet their Indian instincts +told them that all was scarcely well. They had gone three days along +that narrow ledge: mountain quite smooth, incredible, above them, and +precipice as smooth and as far below. It was chilly there in the +mountains; at night a stream or a wind in the gloom of the chasm below +them went like a whisper; the stillness of all things else began to +wear the nerve--an enemy's howl would have braced them; they began to +wish their perilous path were wider, they began to wish that they had +not sacked Loma. + +Had that path been any wider the sacking of Loma must indeed have been +harder for them, for the citizens must have fortified the city but +that the awful narrowness of that ten-league pass of the hills had +made their crag-surrounded city secure. And at last an Indian had +said, "Come, let us sack it." Grimly they laughed in the wigwams. Only +the eagles, they said, had ever seen it, its hoard of emeralds and its +golden gods; and one had said he would reach it, and they answered, +"Only the eagles." + +It was Laughing Face who said it, and who gathered thirty braves and +led them into Loma with their tomahawks and their bows; there were +only four left now, but they had the loot of Loma on a mule. They had +four golden gods, a hundred emeralds, fifty-two rubies, a large silver +gong, two sticks of malachite with amethyst handles for holding +incense at religious feasts, four beakers one foot high, each carved +from a rose-quartz crystal; a little coffer carved out of two +diamonds, and (had they but known it) the written curse of a priest. +It was written on parchment in an unknown tongue, and had been slipped +in with the loot by a dying hand. + +From either end of that narrow, terrible ledge the third night was +closing in; it was dropping down on them from the heights of the +mountain and slipping up to them out of the abyss, the third night +since Loma blazed and they had left it. Three more days of tramping +should bring them in triumph home, and yet their instincts said that +all was scarcely well. We who sit at home and draw the blinds and shut +the shutters as soon as night appears, who gather round the fire when +the wind is wild, who pray at regular seasons and in familiar shrines, +know little of the demoniac look of night when it is filled with +curses of false, infuriated gods. Such a night was this. Though in the +heights the fleecy clouds were idle, yet the wind was stirring +mournfully in the abyss and moaning as it stirred, unhappily at first +and full of sorrow; but as day turned away from that awful path a very +definite menace entered its voice which fast grew louder and louder, +and night came on with a long howl. Shadows repeatedly passed over the +stars, and then a mist fell swiftly, as though there were something +suddenly to be done and utterly to be hidden, as in very truth there +was. + +And in the chill of that mist the four tall men prayed to their +totems, the whimsical wooden figures that stood so far away, watching +the pleasant wigwams; the firelight even now would be dancing over +their faces, while there would come to their ears delectable tales of +war. They halted upon the pass and prayed, and waited for any sign. +For a man's totem may be in the likeness perhaps of an otter, and a +man may pray, and if his totem be placable and watching over his man a +noise may be heard at once like the noise that the otter makes, though +it be but a stone that falls on another stone; and the noise is a +sign. The four men's totems that stood so far away were in the +likeness of the coney, the bear, the heron, and the lizard. They +waited, and no sign came. With all the noises of the wind in the +abyss, no noise was like the thump that the coney makes, nor the +bear's growl, nor the heron's screech, nor the rustle of the lizard in +the reeds. + +It seemed that the wind was saying something over and over again, and +that that thing was evil. They prayed again to their totems, and no +sign came. And then they knew that there was some power that night +that was prevailing against the pleasant carvings on painted poles of +wood with the firelight on their faces so far away. Now it was clear +that the wind was saying something, some very, very dreadful thing in +a tongue that they did not know. They listened, but they could not +tell what it said. Nobody could have said from seeing their faces how +much the four tall men desired the wigwams again, desired the +camp-fire and the tales of war and the benignant totems that listened +and smiled in the dusk: nobody could have seen how well they knew that +this was no common night or wholesome mist. + +When at last no answer came nor any sign from their totems, they +pulled out of the bag those golden gods that Loma gave not up except +in flames and when all her men were dead. They had large ruby eyes and +emerald tongues. They set them down upon that mountain pass, the +cross-legged idols with their emerald tongues; and having placed +between them a few decent yards, as it seemed meet there should be +between gods and men, they bowed them down and prayed in their +desperate straits in that dank, ominous night to the gods they had +wronged, for it seemed that there was a vengeance upon the hills and +that they would scarce escape, as the wind knew well. And the gods +laughed, all four, and wagged their emerald tongues; the Indians saw +them, though the night had fallen and though the mist was low. The +four tall men leaped up at once from their knees and would have left +the gods upon the pass but that they feared some hunter of their tribe +might one day find them and say of Laughing Face, "He fled and left +behind his golden gods," and sell the gold and come with his wealth to +the wigwams and be greater than Laughing Face and his three men. And +then they would have cast the gods away, down the abyss, with their +eyes and their emerald tongues, but they knew that enough already they +had wronged Loma's gods, and feared that vengeance enough was waiting +them on the hills. So they packed them back in the bag on the +frightened mule, the bag that held the curse they knew nothing of, and +so pushed on into the menacing night. Till midnight they plodded on +and would not sleep; grimmer and grimmer grew the look of the night, +and the wind more full of meaning, and the mule knew and trembled, and +it seemed that the wind knew, too, as did the instincts of those four +tall men, though they could not reason it out, try how they would. + +And though the squaws waited long where the pass winds out of the +mountains, near where the wigwams are upon the plains, the wigwams and +the totems and the fire, and though they watched by day, and for many +nights uttered familiar calls, still did they never see those four +tall men emerge out of the mountains any more, even though they prayed +to their totems upon their painted poles; but the curse in the +mystical writing that they had unknown in their bag worked there on +that lonely pass six leagues from the ruins of Loma, and nobody can +tell us what it was. + + + + + +The Secret of the Sea + +In an ill-lit ancient tavern that I know, are many tales of the sea; +but not without the wine of Gorgondy, that I had of a private bargain +from the gnomes, was the tale laid bare for which I had waited of an +evening for the greater part of a year. + +I knew my man and listened to his stories, sitting amid the bluster of +his oaths; I plied him with rum and whiskey and mixed drinks, but +there never came the tale for which I sought, and as a last resort I +went to the Huthneth Mountains and bargained there all night with the +chiefs of the gnomes. + +When I came to the ancient tavern and entered the low-roofed room, +bringing the hoard of the gnomes in a bottle of hammered iron, my man +had not yet arrived. The sailors laughed at my old iron bottle, but I +sat down and waited; had I opened it then they would have wept and +sung. I was well content to wait, for I knew my man had the story, and +it was such a one as had profoundly stirred the incredulity of the +faithless. + +He entered and greeted me, and sat down and called for brandy. He was +a hard man to turn from his purpose, and, uncorking my iron bottle, I +sought to dissuade him from brandy for fear that when the brandy, bit +his throat he should refuse to leave it for any other wine. He lifted +his head and said deep and dreadful things of any man that should dare +to speak against brandy. + +I swore that I said nothing against brandy but added that it was often +given to children, while Gorgondy was only drunk by men of such +depravity that they had abandoned sin because all the usual vices had +come to seem genteel. When he asked if Gorgondy was a bad wine to +drink I said that it was so bad that if a man sipped it that was the +one touch that made damnation certain. Then he asked me what I had in +the iron bottle, and I said it was Gorgondy; and then he shouted for +the largest tumbler in that ill-lit ancient tavern, and stood up and +shook his fist at me when it came, and swore, and told me to fill it +with the wine that I got on that bitter night from the treasure house +of the gnomes. + +As he drank it he told me that he had met men who had spoken against +wine, and that they had mentioned Heaven; and therefore he would not +go there--no, not he; and that once he had sent one of them to Hell, +but when he got there he would turn him out, and he had no use for +milksops. + +Over the second tumbler he was thoughtful, but still he said no word +of the tale he knew, until I feared that it would never be heard. But +when the third glass of that terrific wine had burned its way down his +gullet, and vindicated the wickedness of the gnomes, his reticence +withered like a leaf in the fire, and he bellowed out the secret. + +I had long known that there is in ships a will or way of their own, +and had even suspected that when sailors die or abandon their ships at +sea, a derelict, being left to her own devices, may seek her own ends; +but I had never dreamed by night, or fancied during the day, that the +ships had a god that they worshipped, or that they secretly slipped +away to a temple in the sea. + +Over the fourth glass of the wine that the gnomes so sinfully brew but +have kept so wisely from man, until the bargain that I had with their +elders all through that autumn night, the sailor told me the story. I +do not tell it as he told it to me because of the oaths that were in +it; nor is it from delicacy that I refrain from writing these oaths +verbatim, but merely because the horror they caused in me at the time +troubles me still whenever I put them on paper, and I continue to +shudder until I have blotted them out. Therefore, I tell the story in +my own words, which, if they possess a certain decency that was not in +the mouth of that sailor, unfortunately do not smack, as his did, of +rum and blood and the sea. + +You would take a ship to be a dead thing like a table, as dead as bits +of iron and canvas and wood. That is because you always live on shore, +and have never seen the sea, and drink milk. Milk is a more accursed +drink than water. + +What with the captain and what with the man at the wheel, and what +with the crew, a ship has no fair chance of showing a will of her own. + +There is only one moment in the history of ships, that carry crews on +board, when they act by their own free will. This moment comes when +all the crew are drunk. As the last man falls drunk on to the deck, +the ship is free of man, and immediately slips away. She slips away at +once on a new course and is never one yard out in a hundred miles. + +It was like this one night with the Sea-Fancy. Bill Smiles was there +himself, and can vouch for it. Bill Smiles has never told this tale +before for fear that anyone should call him a liar. Nobody dislikes +being hung as much as Bill Smiles would, but he won't be called a +liar. I tell the tale as I heard it, relevancies and irrelevancies, +though in my more decent words; and as I made no doubts of the truth +of it then, I hardly like to now; others can please themselves. + +It is not often that the whole of a crew is drunk. The crew of +the Sea-Fancy was no drunkener than others. It happened like this. + +The captain was always drunk. One day a fancy he had that some spiders +were plotting against him, or a sudden bleeding he had from both his +ears, made him think that drinking might be bad for his health. Next +day he signed the pledge. He was sober all that morning and all the +afternoon, but at evening he saw a sailor drinking a a glass of beer, +and a fit of madness seized him, and he said things that seemed bad to +Bill Smiles. And next morning he made all of them take the pledge. + +For two days nobody had a drop to drink, unless you count water, and +on the third morning the captain was quite drunk. It stood to reason +they all had a glass or two then, except the man at the wheel; and +towards evening the man at the wheel could bear it no longer, and +seems to have had his glass like all the rest, for the ship's course +wobbled a bit and made a circle or two. Then all of a sudden she went +off south by east under full canvas till midnight, and never altered +her course. And at midnight she came to the wide wet courts of the +Temple in the Sea. + +People who think that Mr. Smiles is drunk often make a great mistake. And +people are not the only ones that have made that mistake. Once a +ship made it, and a lot of ships. It's a mistake to think that old Bill +Smiles is drunk just because he can't move. + +Midnight and moonlight and the Temple in the Sea Bill Smiles clearly +remembers, and all the derelicts in the world were there, the old +abandoned ships. The figureheads were nodding to themselves and +blinking at the image. The image was a woman of white marble on a +pedestal in the outer court of the Temple of the Sea: she was clearly +the love of all the man-deserted ships, or the goddess to whom they +prayed their heathen prayers. And as Bill Smiles was watching them, +the lips of the figureheads moved; they all began to pray. But all at +once their lips were closed with a snap when they saw that there were +men on the Sea-Fancy. They all came crowding up and nodded and nodded +and nodded to see if all were drunk, and that's when they made their +mistake about old Bill Smiles, although he couldn't move. They would +have given up the treasuries of the gulfs sooner than let men hear the +prayers they said or guess their love for the goddess. It is the +intimate secret of the sea. + +The sailor paused. And, in my eagerness to hear what lyrical or +blasphemous thing those figureheads prayed by moonlight at midnight in +the sea to the woman of marble who was a goddess to ships, I pressed +on the sailor more of my Gorgondy wine that the gnomes so wickedly +brew. + +I should never have done it; but there he was sitting silent while the +secret was almost mine. He took it moodily and drank a glass; and with +the other glasses that he had had he fell a prey to the villainy of +the gnomes who brew this unbridled wine to no good end. His body +leaned forward slowly, then fell on to the table, his face being +sideways and full of a wicked smile, and, saying very clearly the one +word, "Hell," he became silent for ever with the secret he had from +the sea. + + + + + +How Ali Came to the Black Country + +Shooshan the barber went to Shep the maker of teeth to discuss the +state of England. They agreed that it was time to send for Ali. + +So Shooshan stepped late that night from the little shop near Fleet +Street and made his way back again to his house in the ends of London +and sent at once the message that brought Ali. + +And Ali came, mostly on foot, from the country of Persia, and it took +him a year to come; but when he came he was welcome. + +And Shep told Ali what was the matter with England and Shooshan swore +that it was so, and Ali looking out of the window of the little shop +near Fleet Street beheld the ways of London and audibly blessed King +Solomon and his seal. + +When Shep and Shooshan heard the names of King Solomon and his seal +both asked, as they had scarcely dared before, if Ali had it. Ali +patted a little bundle of silks that he drew from his inner raiment. +It was there. + +Now concerning the movements and courses of the stars and the +influence on them of spirits of Earth and devils this age has been +rightly named by some The Second Age of Ignorance. But Ali knew. And +by watching nightly, for seven nights in Bagdad, the way of certain +stars he had found out the dwelling place of Him they Needed. + +Guided by Ali all three set forth for the Midlands. And by the +reverence that was manifest in the faces of Shep and Shooshan towards +the person of Ali, some knew what Ali carried, while others said that +it was the tablets of the Law, others the name of God, and others that +he must have a lot of money about him. So they passed Slod and Apton. + +And at last they came to the town for which Ali sought, that spot over +which he had seen the shy stars wheel and swerve away from their +orbits, being troubled. Verily when they came there were no stars, +though it was midnight. And Ali said that it was the appointed place. +In harems in Persia in the evening when the tales go round it is still +told how Ali and Shep and Shooshan came to the Black country. + +When it was dawn they looked upon the country and saw how it was +without doubt the appointed place, even as Ali had said, for the earth +had been taken out of pits and burned and left lying in heaps, and +there were many factories, and they stood over the town and as it were +rejoiced. And with one voice Shep and Shooshan gave praise to Ali. + +And Ali said that the great ones of the place must needs be gathered +together, and to this end Shep and Shooshan went into the town and +there spoke craftily. For they said that Ali had of his wisdom +contrived as it were a patent and a novelty which should greatly +benefit England. And when they heard how he sought nothing for his +novelty save only to benefit mankind they consented to speak with Ali +and see his novelty. And they came forth and met Ali. + +And Ali spake and said unto them: "O lords of this place; in the book +that all men know it is written how that a fisherman casting his net +into the sea drew up a bottle of brass, and when he took the stopper +from the bottle a dreadful genie of horrible aspect rose from the +bottle, as it were like a smoke, even to darkening the sky, whereat +the fisherman..." And the great ones of that place said: "We have +heard the story." And Ali said: "What became of that genie after he +was safely thrown back into the sea is not properly spoken of by any +save those that pursue the study of demons and not with certainty by +any man, but that the stopper that bore the ineffable seal and bears +it to this day became separate from the bottle is among those things +that man may know." And when there was doubt among the great ones Ali +drew forth his bundle and one by one removed those many silks till the +seal stood revealed; and some of them knew it for the seal and others +knew it not. + +And they looked curiously at it and listened to Ali, and Ali said: + +"Having heard how evil is the case of England, how a smoke has +darkened the country, and in places (as men say) the grass is black, +and how even yet your factories multiply, and haste and noise have +become such that men have no time for song, I have therefore come at +the bidding of my good friend Shooshan, barber of London, and of Shep, +a maker of teeth, to make things well with you." + +And they said: "But where is your patent and your novelty?" + +And Ali said: "Have I not here the stopper and on it, as good men +know, the ineffable seal? Now I have learned in Persia how that your +trains that make the haste, and hurry men to and fro, and your +factories and the digging of your pits and all the things that are +evil are everyone of them caused and brought about by steam." + +"Is it not so?" said Shooshan. + +"It is even so," said Shep. + +"Now it is clear," said Ali, "that the chief devil that vexes England +and has done all this harm, who herds men into cities and will not let +them rest, is even the devil Steam." + +Then the great ones would have rebuked him but one said: "No, let us +hear him, perhaps his patent may improve on steam." + +And to them hearkening Ali went on thus: "O Lords of this place, let +there be made a bottle of strong steel, for I have no bottle with my +stopper, and this being done let all the factories, trains, digging of +pits, and all evil things soever that may be done by steam be stopped +for seven days, and the men that tend them shall go free, but the +steel bottle for my stopper I will leave open in a likely place. Now +that chief devil, Steam, finding no factories to enter into, nor no +trains, sirens nor pits prepared for him, and being curious and +accustomed to steel pots, will verily enter one night into the bottle +that you shall make for my stopper, and I shall spring forth from my +hiding with my stopper and fasten him down with the ineffable seal +which is the seal of King Solomon and deliver him up to you that you +cast him into the sea." + +And the great ones answered Ali and they said: "But what should we +gain if we lose our prosperity and be no longer rich?" + +And Ali said: "When we have cast this devil into the sea there will +come back again the woods and ferns and all the beautiful things that +the world hath, the little leaping hares shall be seen at play, there +shall be music on the hills again, and at twilight ease and quiet and +after the twilight stars." + +And "Verily," said Shooshan, "there shall be the dance again." + +"Aye," said Shep, "there shall be the country dance." + +But the great ones spake and said, denying Ali: "We will make no such +bottle for your stopper nor stop our healthy factories or good trains, +nor cease from our digging of pits nor do anything that you desire, +for an interference with steam would strike at the roots of that +prosperity that you see so plentifully all around us." + +Thus they dismissed Ali there and then from that place where the earth +was torn up and burnt, being taken out of pits, and where factories +blazed all night with a demoniac glare; and they dismissed with him +both Shooshan, the barber, and Shep, the maker of teeth: so that a +week later Ali started from Calais on his long walk back to Persia. + +And all this happened thirty years ago, and Shep is an old man now and +Shooshan older, and many mouths have bit with the teeth of Shep (for +he has a knack of getting them back whenever his customers die), and +they have written again to Ali away in the country of Persia with +these words, saying: + +"O Ali. The devil has indeed begotten a devil, even that spirit +Petrol. And the young devil waxeth, and increaseth in lustihood and is +ten years old and becoming like to his father. Come therefore and help +us with the ineffable seal. For there is none like Ali." + +And Ali turns where his slaves scatter rose-leaves, letting the letter +fall, and deeply draws from his hookah a puff of the scented smoke, +right down into his lungs, and sighs it forth and smiles, and lolling +round on to his other elbow speaks comfortably and says, "And shall a +man go twice to the help of a dog?" + +And with these words he thinks no more of England but ponders again +the inscrutable ways of God. + + + + + +The Bureau d'Echange de Maux + +I often think of the Bureau d'Echange de Maux and the wondrously evil +old man that sate therein. It stood in a little street that there is +in Paris, its doorway made of three brown beams of wood, the top one +overlapping the others like the Greek letter _pi_, all the rest +painted green, a house far lower and narrower than its neighbours and +infinitely stranger, a thing to take one's fancy. And over the doorway +on the old brown beam in faded yellow letters this legend ran, Bureau +Universel d'Echanges de Maux. + +I entered at once and accosted the listless man that lolled on a stool +by his counter. I demanded the wherefore of his wonderful house, what +evil wares he exchanged, with many other things that I wished to know, +for curiosity led me; and indeed had it not I had gone at once from +that shop, for there was so evil a look in that fattened man, in the +hang of his fallen cheeks and his sinful eye, that you would have said +he had had dealings with Hell and won the advantage by sheer +wickedness. + +Such a man was mine host; but above all the evil of him lay in his +eyes, which lay so still, so apathetic, that you would have sworn that +he was drugged or dead; like lizards motionless on a wall they lay, +then suddenly they darted, and all his cunning flamed up and revealed +itself in what one moment before seemed no more than a sleepy and +ordinary wicked old man. And this was the object and trade of that +peculiar shop, the Bureau Universel d'Echange de Maux: you paid twenty +francs, which the old man proceeded to take from me, for admission to +the bureau and then had the right to exchange any evil or misfortune +with anyone on the premises for some evil or misfortune that he "could +afford," as the old man put it. + +There were four or five men in the dingy ends of that low-ceilinged +room who gesticulated and muttered softly in twos as men who make a +bargain, and now and then more came in, and the eyes of the flabby +owner of the house leaped up at them as they entered, seemed to know +their errands at once and each one's peculiar need, and fell back +again into somnolence, receiving his twenty francs in an almost +lifeless hand and biting the coin as though in pure absence of mind. + +"Some of my clients," he told me. So amazing to me was the trade of +this extraordinary shop that I engaged the old man in conversation, +repulsive though he was, and from his garrulity I gathered these +facts. He spoke in perfect English though his utterance was somewhat +thick and heavy; no language seemed to come amiss to him. He had been +in business a great many years, how many he would not say, and was far +older than he looked. All kinds of people did business in his shop. +What they exchanged with each other he did not care except that it had +to be evils, he was not empowered to carry on any other kind of +business. + +There was no evil, he told me, that was not negotiable there; no evil +the old man knew had ever been taken away in despair from his shop. A +man might have to wait and come back again next day, and next day and +the day after, paying twenty francs each time, but the old man had the +addresses of all his clients and shrewdly knew their needs, and soon +the right two met and eagerly exchanged their commodities. +"Commodities" was the old man's terrible word, said with a gruesome +smack of his heavy lips, for he took a pride in his business and evils +to him were goods. + +I learned from him in ten minutes very much of human nature, more than +I have ever learned from any other man; I learned from him that a +man's own evil is to him the worst thing there is or ever could be, +and that an evil so unbalances all men's minds that they always seek +for extremes in that small grim shop. A woman that had no children had +exchanged with an impoverished half-maddened creature with twelve. On +one occasion a man had exchanged wisdom for folly. + +"Why on earth did he do that?" I said. + +"None of my business," the old man answered in his heavy indolent way. +He merely took his twenty francs from each and ratified the agreement +in the little room at the back opening out of the shop where his +clients do business. Apparently the man that had parted with wisdom +had left the shop upon the tips of his toes with a happy though +foolish expression all over his face, but the other went thoughtfully +away wearing a troubled and very puzzled look. Almost always it seemed +they did business in opposite evils. + +But the thing that puzzled me most in all my talks with that unwieldy +man, the thing that puzzles me still, is that none that had once done +business in that shop ever returned again; a man might come day after +day for many weeks, but once do business and he never returned; so +much the old man told me, but when I asked him why, he only muttered +that he did not know. + +It was to discover the wherefore of this strange thing and for no +other reason at all that I determined myself to do business sooner or +later in the little room at the back of that mysterious shop. I +determined to exchange some very trivial evil for some evil equally +slight, to seek for myself an advantage so very small as scarcely to +give Fate as it were a grip, for I deeply distrusted these bargains, +knowing well that man has never yet benefited by the marvellous and +that the more miraculous his advantage appears to be the more securely +and tightly do the gods or the witches catch him. In a few days more I +was going back to England and I was beginning to fear that I should be +sea-sick: this fear of sea-sickness, not the actual malady but only +the mere fear of it, I decided to exchange for a suitably little evil. +I did not know with whom I should be dealing, who in reality was the +head of the firm (one never does when shopping) but I decided that +neither Jew nor Devil could make very much on so small a bargain as +that. + +I told the old man my project, and he scoffed at the smallness of my +commodity trying to urge me to some darker bargain, but could not move +me from my purpose. And then he told me tales with a somewhat boastful +air of the big business, the great bargains that had passed through +his hands. A man had once run in there to try and exchange death, he +had swallowed poison by accident and had only twelve hours to live. +That sinister old man had been able to oblige him. A client was +willing to exchange the commodity. + +"But what did he give in exchange for death?" I said. + +"Life," said that grim old man with a furtive chuckle. + +"It must have been a horrible life," I said. + +"That was not my affair," the proprietor said, lazily rattling +together as he spoke a little pocketful of twenty-franc pieces. + +Strange business I watched in that shop for the next few days, the +exchange of odd commodities, and heard strange mutterings in corners +amongst couples who presently rose and went to the back room, the old +man following to ratify. + +Twice a day for a week I paid my twenty francs, watching life with its +great needs and its little needs morning and afternoon spread out +before me in all its wonderful variety. + +And one day I met a comfortable man with only a little need, he seemed +to have the very evil I wanted. He always feared the lift was going to +break. I knew too much of hydraulics to fear things as silly as that, +but it was not my business to cure his ridiculous fear. Very few words +were needed to convince him that mine was the evil for him, he never +crossed the sea, and I on the other hand could always walk upstairs, +and I also felt at the time, as many must feel in that shop, that so +absurd a fear could never trouble me. And yet at times it is almost +the curse of my life. When we both had signed the parchment in the +spidery back room and the old man had signed and ratified (for which +we had to pay him fifty francs each) I went back to my hotel, and +there I saw the deadly thing in the basement. They asked me if I would +go upstairs in the lift, from force of habit I risked it, and I held +my breath all the way and clenched my hands. Nothing will induce me to +try such a journey again. I would sooner go up to my room in a +balloon. And why? Because if a balloon goes wrong you have a chance, +it may spread out into a parachute after it has burst, it may catch in +a tree, a hundred and one things may happen, but if the lift falls +down its shaft you are done. As for sea-sickness I shall never be sick +again, I cannot tell you why except that I know that it is so. + +And the shop in which I made this remarkable bargain, the shop to +which none return when their business is done: I set out for it next +day. Blindfold I could have found my way to the unfashionable quarter +out of which a mean street runs, where you take the alley at the end, +whence runs the cul de sac where the queer shop stood. A shop with +pillars, fluted and painted red, stands on its near side, its other +neighbour is a low-class jeweller's with little silver brooches in the +window. In such incongruous company stood the shop with beams with its +walls painted green. + +In half an hour I found the cul de sac to which I had gone twice a day +for the last week, I found the shop with the ugly painted pillars and +the jeweller that sold brooches, but the green house with the three +beams was gone. + +Pulled down, you will say, although in a single night. That can never +be the answer to the mystery, for the house of the fluted pillars +painted on plaster and the low-class jeweller's shop with its silver +brooches (all of which I could identify one by one) were standing side +by side. + + + + + +A Story of Land and Sea + +It is written in the first Book of Wonder how Captain Shard of the bad +ship Desperate Lark, having looted the sea-coast city Bombasharna, +retired from active life; and resigning piracy to younger men, with +the good will of the North and South Atlantic, settled down with a +captured queen on his floating island. + +Sometimes he sank a ship for the sake of old times but he no longer +hovered along the trade-routes; and timid merchants watched for other +men. + +It was not age that caused him to leave his romantic profession; nor +unworthiness of its traditions, nor gun-shot wound, nor drink; but +grim necessity and force majeure. Five navies were after him. How he +gave them the slip one day in the Mediterranean, how he fought with +the Arabs, how a ship's broadside was heard in Lat. 23 N. Long. 4 E. +for the first time and the last, with other things unknown to +Admiralties, I shall proceed to tell. + +He had had his fling, had Shard, captain of pirates, and all his merry +men wore pearls in their ear-rings; and now the English fleet was +after him under full sail along the coast of Spain with a good North +wind behind them. They were not gaining much on Shard's rakish craft, +the bad ship Desperate Lark, yet they were closer than was to his +liking, and they interfered with business. + +For a day and a night they had chased him, when off Cape St. Vincent +at about six a.m. Shard took that step that decided his retirement +from active life, he turned for the Mediterranean. Had he held on +Southwards down the African coast it is doubtful whether in face of +the interference of England, Russia, France, Denmark and Spain, he +could have made piracy pay; but in turning for the Mediterranean he +took what we may call the penultimate step of his life which meant for +him settling down. There were three great courses of action invented +by Shard in his youth, upon which he pondered by day and brooded by +night, consolations in all his dangers, secret even from his men, +three means of escape as he hoped from any peril that might meet him +on the sea. One of these was the floating island that the Book of +Wonder tells of, another was so fantastic that we may doubt if even +the brilliant audacity of Shard could ever have found it practicable, +at least he never tried it so far as is known in that tavern by the +sea in which I glean my news, and the third he determined on carrying +out as he turned that morning for the Mediterranean. True he might yet +have practised piracy in spite of the step that he took, a little +later when the seas grew quiet, but that penultimate step was like +that small house in the country that the business man has his eye on, +like some snug investment put away for old age, there are certain +final courses in men's lives which after taking they never go back to +business. + +He turned then for the Mediterranean with the English fleet behind +him, and his men wondered. + +What madness was this,--muttered Bill the Boatswain in Old Frank's +only ear, with the French fleet waiting in the Gulf of Lyons and the +Spaniards all the way between Sardinia and Tunis: for they knew the +Spaniards' ways. And they made a deputation and waited upon Captain +Shard, all of them sober and wearing their costly clothes, and they +said that the Mediterranean was a trap, and all he said was that the +North wind should hold. And the crew said they were done. + +So they entered the Mediterranean and the English fleet came up and +closed the straits. And Shard went tacking along the Moroccan coast +with a dozen frigates behind him. And the North wind grew in strength. +And not till evening did he speak to his crew, and then he gathered +them all together except the man at the helm, and politely asked them +to come down to the hold. And there he showed them six immense steel +axles and a dozen low iron wheels of enormous width which none had +seen before; and he told his crew how all unknown to the world his +keel had been specially fitted for these same axles and wheels, and +how he meant soon to sail to the wide Atlantic again, though not by +the way of the straits. And when they heard the name of the Atlantic +all his merry men cheered, for they looked on the Atlantic as a wide +safe sea. + +And night came down and Captain Shard sent for his diver. With the sea +getting up it was hard work for the diver, but by midnight things were +done to Shard's satisfaction, and the diver said that of all the jobs +he had done--but finding no apt comparison, and being in need of a +drink, silence fell on him and soon sleep, and his comrades carried +him away to his hammock. All the next day the chase went on with the +English well in sight, for Shard had lost time overnight with his +wheels and axles, and the danger of meeting the Spaniards increased +every hour; and evening came when every minute seemed dangerous, yet +they still went tacking on towards the East where they knew the +Spaniards must be. + +And at last they sighted their topsails right ahead, and still Shard +went on. It was a close thing, but night was coming on, and the Union +Jack which he hoisted helped Shard with the Spaniards for the last few +anxious minutes, though it seemed to anger the English, but as Shard +said, "There's no pleasing everyone," and then the twilight shivered +into darkness. + +"Hard to starboard," said Captain Shard. + +The North wind which had risen all day was now blowing a gale. I do +not know what part of the coast Shard steered for, but Shard knew, for +the coasts of the world were to him what Margate is to some of us. + +At a place where the desert rolling up from mystery and from death, +yea, from the heart of Africa, emerges upon the sea, no less grand +than her, no less terrible, even there they sighted the land quite +close, almost in darkness. Shard ordered every man to the hinder part +of the ship and all the ballast too; and soon the Desperate Lark, her +prow a little high out of the water, doing her eighteen knots before +the wind, struck a sandy beach and shuddered, she heeled over a +little, then righted herself, and slowly headed into the interior of +Africa. + +The men would have given three cheers, but after the first Shard +silenced them and, steering the ship himself, he made them a short +speech while the broad wheels pounded slowly over the African sand, +doing barely five knots in a gale. The perils of the sea he said had +been greatly exaggerated. Ships had been sailing the sea for hundreds +of years and at sea you knew what to do, but on land this was +different. They were on land now and they were not to forget it. At +sea you might make as much noise as you pleased and no harm was done, +but on land anything might happen. One of the perils of the land that +he instanced was that of hanging. For every hundred men that they hung +on land, he said, not more than twenty would be hung at sea. The men +were to sleep at their guns. They would not go far that night; for the +risk of being wrecked at night was another danger peculiar to the +land, while at sea you might sail from set of sun till dawn: yet it +was essential to get out of sight of the sea for if anyone knew they +were there they'd have cavalry after them. And he had sent back +Smerdrak (a young lieutenant of pirates) to cover their tracks where +they came up from the sea. And the merry men vigorously nodded their +heads though they did not dare to cheer, and presently Smerdrak came +running up and they threw him a rope by the stern. And when they had +done fifteen knots they anchored, and Captain Shard gathered his men +about him and, standing by the land-wheel in the bows, under the large +and clear Algerian stars, he explained his system of steering. There +was not much to be said for it, he had with considerable ingenuity +detached and pivoted the portion of the keel that held the leading +axle and could move it by chains which were controlled from the +land-wheel, thus the front pair of wheels could be deflected at will, +but only very slightly, and they afterwards found that in a hundred +yards they could only turn their ship four yards from her course. But +let not captains of comfortable battleships, or owners even of yachts, +criticise too harshly a man who was not of their time and who knew not +modern contrivances; it should be remembered also that Shard was no +longer at sea. His steering may have been clumsy but he did what he +could. + +When the use and limitations of his land-wheel had been made clear to +his men, Shard bade them all turn in except those on watch. Long +before dawn he woke them and by the very first gleam of light they got +their ship under way, so that when those two fleets that had made so +sure of Shard closed in like a great crescent on the Algerian coast +there was no sign to see of the Desperate Lark either on sea or land; +and the flags of the Admiral's ship broke out into a hearty English +oath. + +The gale blew for three days and, Shard using more sail by daylight, +they scudded over the sands at little less than ten knots, though on +the report of rough water ahead (as the lookout man called rocks, low +hills or uneven surface before he adapted himself to his new +surroundings) the rate was much decreased. Those were long summer days +and Shard who was anxious while the wind held good to outpace the +rumour of his own appearance sailed for nineteen hours a day, lying to +at ten in the evening and hoisting sail again at three a.m. when it +first began to be light. + +In those three days he did five hundred miles; then the wind dropped +to a breeze though it still blew from the North, and for a week they +did no more than two knots an hour. The merry men began to murmur +then. Luck had distinctly favoured Shard at first for it sent him at +ten knots through the only populous districts well ahead of crowds +except those who chose to run, and the cavalry were away on a local +raid. As for the runners they soon dropped off when Shard pointed his +cannon though he did not dare to fire, up there near the coast; for +much as he jeered at the intelligence of the English and Spanish +Admirals in not suspecting his manoeuvre, the only one as he said that +was possible in the circumstances, yet he knew that cannon had an +obvious sound which would give his secret away to the weakest mind. +Certainly luck had befriended him, and when it did so no longer he +made out of the occasion all that could be made; for instance while +the wind held good he had never missed opportunities to revictual, if +he passed by a village its pigs and poultry were his, and whenever he +passed by water he filled his tanks to the brim, and now that he could +only do two knots he sailed all night with a man and a lantern before +him: thus in that week he did close on four hundred miles while +another man would have anchored at night and have missed five or six +hours out of the twenty-four. Yet his men murmured. Did he think the +wind would last for ever, they said. And Shard only smoked. It was +clear that he was thinking, and thinking hard. "But what is he +thinking about?" said Bill to Bad Jack. And Bad Jack answered: "He may +think as hard as he likes but thinking won't get us out of the Sahara +if this wind were to drop." + +And towards the end of that week Shard went to his chart-room and laid +a new course for his ship a little to the East and towards +cultivation. And one day towards evening they sighted a village, and +twilight came and the wind dropped altogether. Then the murmurs of the +merry men grew to oaths and nearly to mutiny. "Where were they now?" +they asked, and were they being treated like poor honest men? + +Shard quieted them by asking what they wished to do themselves and +when no one had any better plan than going to the villagers and saying +that they had been blown out of their course by a storm, Shard +unfolded his scheme to them. Long ago he had heard how they drove +carts with oxen in Africa, oxen were very numerous in these parts +wherever there was any cultivation, and for this reason when the wind +had begun to drop he had laid his course for the village: that night +the moment it was dark they were to drive off fifty yoke of oxen; by +midnight they must all be yoked to the bows and then away they would +go at a good round gallop. + +So fine a plan as this astonished the men and they all apologised for +their want of faith in Shard, shaking hands with him every one and +spitting on their hands before they did so in token of good will. + +The raid that night succeeded admirably, but ingenious as Shard was on +land, and a past-master at sea, yet it must be admitted that lack of +experience in this class of seamanship led him to make a mistake, a +slight one it is true, and one that a little practice would have +prevented altogether: the oxen could not gallop. Shard swore at them, +threatened them with his pistol, said they should have no food, and +all to no avail: that night and as long as they pulled the bad ship +Desperate Lark they did one knot an hour and no more. Shard's failures +like everything that came his way were used as stones in the edifice +of his future success, he went at once to his chart-room and worked +out all his calculations anew. + +The matter of the oxen's pace made pursuit impossible to avoid. Shard +therefore countermanded his order to his lieutenant to cover the +tracks in the sand, and the Desperate Lark plodded on into the Sahara +on her new course trusting to her guns. + +The village was not a large one and the little crowd that was sighted +astern next morning disappeared after the first shot from the cannon +in the stern. At first Shard made the oxen wear rough iron bits, +another of his mistakes, and strong bits too. "For if they run away," +he had said, "we might as well be driving before a gale and there's no +saying where we'd find ourselves," but after a day or two he found +that the bits were no good and, like the practical man he was, +immediately corrected his mistake. + +And now the crew sang merry songs all day bringing out mandolins and +clarionets and cheering Captain Shard. All were jolly except the +captain himself whose face was moody and perplexed; he alone expected +to hear more of those villagers; and the oxen were drinking up the +water every day, he alone feared that there was no more to be had, and +a very unpleasant fear that is when your ship is becalmed in a desert. +For over a week they went on like this doing ten knots a day and the +music and singing got on the captain's nerves, but he dared not tell +his men what the trouble was. And then one day the oxen drank up the +last of the water. And Lieutenant Smerdrak came and reported the fact. + +"Give them rum," said Shard, and he cursed the oxen. "What is good +enough for me," he said, "should be good enough for them," and he +swore that they should have rum. + +"Aye, aye, sir," said the young lieutenant of pirates. + +Shard should not be judged by the orders he gave that day, for nearly +a fortnight he had watched the doom that was coming slowly towards +him, discipline cut him off from anyone that might have shared his +fear and discussed it, and all the while he had had to navigate his +ship, which even at sea is an arduous responsibility. These things had +fretted the calm of that clear judgment that had once baffled five +navies. Therefore he cursed the oxen and ordered them rum, and +Smerdrak had said "Aye, aye, sir," and gone below. + +Towards sunset Shard was standing on the poop, thinking of death; it +would not come to him by thirst; mutiny first, he thought. The oxen +were refusing rum for the last time, and the men were beginning to eye +Captain Shard in a very ominous way, not muttering, but each man +looking at him with a sidelong look of the eye as though there were +only one thought among them all that had no need of words. A score of +geese like a long letter "V" were crossing the evening sky, they +slanted their necks and all went twisting downwards somewhere about +the horizon. Captain Shard rushed to his chart-room, and presently the +men came in at the door with Old Frank in front looking awkward and +twisting his cap in his hand. + +"What is it?" said Shard as though nothing were wrong. + +Then Old Frank said what he had come to say: "We want to know what you +be going to do." + +And the men nodded grimly. + +"Get water for the oxen," said Captain Shard, "as the swine won't have +rum, and they'll have to work for it, the lazy beasts. Up anchor!" + +And at the word water a look came into their faces like when some +wanderer suddenly thinks of home. + +"Water!" they said. + +"Why not?" said Captain Shard. And none of them ever knew that but for +those geese, that slanted their necks and suddenly twisted downwards, +they would have found no water that night nor ever after, and the +Sahara would have taken them as she has taken so many and shall take +so many more. All that night they followed their new course: at dawn +they found an oasis and the oxen drank. + +And here, on this green acre or so with its palm-trees and its well, +beleaguered by thousands of miles of desert and holding out through +the ages, here they decided to stay: for those who have been without +water for a while in one of Africa's deserts come to have for that +simple fluid such a regard as you, O reader, might not easily credit. +And here each man chose a site where he would build his hut, and +settle down, and marry perhaps, and even forget the sea; when Captain +Shard having filled his tanks and barrels peremptorily ordered them to +weigh anchor. There was much dissatisfaction, even some grumbling, but +when a man has twice saved his fellows from death by the sheer +freshness of his mind they come to have a respect for his judgment +that is not shaken by trifles. It must be remembered that in the +affair of the dropping of the wind and again when they ran out of +water these men were at their wits' end: so was Shard on the last +occasion, but that they did not know. All this Shard knew, and he +chose this occasion to strengthen the reputation that he had in the +minds of the men of that bad ship by explaining to them his motives, +which usually he kept secret. The oasis he said must be a port of call +for all the travellers within hundreds of miles: how many men did you +see gathered together in any part of the world where there was a drop +of whiskey to be had! And water here was rarer than whiskey in decent +countries and, such was the peculiarity of the Arabs, even more +precious. Another thing he pointed out to them, the Arabs were a +singularly inquisitive people and if they came upon a ship in the +desert they would probably talk about it; and the world having a +wickedly malicious tongue would never construe in its proper light +their difference with the English and Spanish fleets, but would merely +side with the strong against the weak. + +And the men sighed, and sang the capstan song and hoisted the anchor +and yoked the oxen up, and away they went doing their steady knot, +which nothing could increase. It may be thought strange that with all +sail furled in dead calm and while the oxen rested they should have +cast anchor at all. But custom is not easily overcome and long +survives its use. Rather enquire how many such useless customs we +ourselves preserve: the flaps for instance to pull up the tops of +hunting-boots though the tops no longer pull up, the bows on our +evening shoes that neither tie nor untie. They said they felt safer +that way and there was an end of it. + +Shard lay a course of South by West and they did ten knots that day, +the next day they did seven or eight and Shard hove to. Here he +intended to stop, they had huge supplies of fodder on board for the +oxen, for his men he had a pig or so, plenty of poultry, several sacks +of biscuits and ninety-eight oxen (for two were already eaten), and +they were only twenty miles from water. Here he said they would stay +till folks forgot their past, someone would invent something or some +new thing would turn up to take folks' minds off them and the ships he +had sunk: he forgot that there are men who are well paid to remember. + +Half way between him and the oasis he established a little depot where +he buried his water-barrels. As soon as a barrel was empty he sent +half a dozen men to roll it by turns to the depot. This they would do +at night, keeping hid by day, and next night they would push on to the +oasis, fill the barrel and roll it back. Thus only ten miles away he +soon had a store of water, unknown to the thirstiest native of Africa, +from which he could safely replenish his tanks at will. He allowed his +men to sing and even within reason to light fires. Those were jolly +nights while the rum held out; sometimes they saw gazelles watching +them curiously, sometimes a lion went by over the sand, the sound of +his roar added to their sense of the security of their ship; all round +them level, immense lay the Sahara: "This is better than an English +prison," said Captain Shard. + +And still the dead calm lasted, not even the sand whispered at night +to little winds; and when the rum gave out and it looked like trouble, +Shard reminded them what little use it had been to them when it was +all they had and the oxen wouldn't look at it. + +And the days wore on with singing, and even dancing at times, and at +nights round a cautious fire in a hollow of sand with only one man on +watch they told tales of the sea. It was all a relief after arduous +watches and sleeping by the guns, a rest to strained nerves and eyes; +and all agreed, for all that they missed their rum, that the best +place for a ship like theirs was the land. + +This was in Latitude 23 North, Longitude 4 East, where, as I have +said, a ship's broadside was heard for the first time and the last. It +happened this way. + +They had been there several weeks and had eaten perhaps ten or a dozen +oxen and all that while there had been no breath of wind and they had +seen no one: when one morning about two bells when the crew were at +breakfast the lookout man reported cavalry on the port side. Shard who +had already surrounded his ship with sharpened stakes ordered all his +men on board, the young trumpeter who prided himself on having picked +up the ways of the land, sounded "Prepare to receive cavalry". Shard +sent a few men below with pikes to the lower port-holes, two more +aloft with muskets, the rest to the guns, he changed the "grape" or +"canister" with which the guns were loaded in case of surprise, for +shot, cleared the decks, drew in ladders, and before the cavalry came +within range everything was ready for them. The oxen were always yoked +in order that Shard could manoeuvre his ship at a moment's notice. + +When first sighted the cavalry were trotting but they were coming on +now at a slow canter. Arabs in white robes on good horses. Shard +estimated that there were two or three hundred of them. At sixty yards +Shard opened with one gun, he had had the distance measured, but had +never practised for fear of being heard at the oasis: the shot went +high. The next one fell short and ricochetted over the Arabs' heads. +Shard had the range then and by the time the ten remaining guns of his +broadside were given the same elevation as that of his second gun the +Arabs had come to the spot where the last shot pitched. The broadside +hit the horses, mostly low, and ricochetted on amongst them; one +cannon-ball striking a rock at the horses' feet shattered it and sent +fragments flying amongst the Arabs with the peculiar scream of things +set free by projectiles from their motionless harmless state, and the +cannon-ball went on with them with a great howl, this shot alone +killed three men. + +"Very satisfactory," said Shard rubbing his chin. "Load with grape," +he added sharply. + +The broadside did not stop the Arabs nor even reduce their speed but +they crowded in closer together as though for company in their time of +danger, which they should not have done. They were four hundred yards +off now, three hundred and fifty; and then the muskets began, for the +two men in the crow's-nest had thirty loaded muskets besides a few +pistols, the muskets all stood round them leaning against the rail; +they picked them up and fired them one by one. Every shot told, but +still the Arabs came on. They were galloping now. It took some time to +load the guns in those days. Three hundred yards, two hundred and +fifty, men dropping all the way, two hundred yards; Old Frank for all +his one ear had terrible eyes; it was pistols now, they had fired all +their muskets; a hundred and fifty; Shard had marked the fifties with +little white stones. Old Frank and Bad Jack up aloft felt pretty +uneasy when they saw the Arabs had come to that little white stone, +they both missed their shots. + +"All ready?" said Captain Shard. + +"Aye, aye, sir," said Smerdrak. + +"Right," said Captain Shard raising a finger. + +A hundred and fifty yards is a bad range at which to be caught by +grape (or "case" as we call it now), the gunners can hardly miss and +the charge has time to spread. Shard estimated afterwards that he got +thirty Arabs by that broadside alone and as many horses. + +There were close on two hundred of them still on their horses, yet the +broadside of grape had unsettled them, they surged round the ship but +seemed doubtful what to do. They carried swords and scimitars in their +hands, though most had strange long muskets slung behind them, a few +unslung them and began firing wildly. They could not reach Shard's +merry men with their swords. Had it not been for that broadside that +took them when it did they might have climbed up from their horses and +carried the bad ship by sheer force of numbers, but they would have +had to have been very steady, and the broadside spoiled all that. +Their best course was to have concentrated all their efforts in +setting fire to the ship but this they did not attempt. Part of them +swarmed all round the ship brandishing their swords and looking vainly +for an easy entrance; perhaps they expected a door, they were not +sea-faring people; but their leaders were evidently set on driving off +the oxen not dreaming that the Desperate Lark had other means of +travelling. And this to some extent they succeeded in doing. Thirty +they drove off, cutting the traces, twenty they killed on the spot +with their scimitars though the bow gun caught them twice as they did +their work, and ten more were unluckily killed by Shard's bow gun. +Before they could fire a third time from the bows they all galloped +away, firing back at the oxen with their muskets and killing three +more, and what troubled Shard more than the loss of his oxen was the +way that they manoeuvred, galloping off just when the bow gun was +ready and riding off by the port bow where the broadside could not get +them, which seemed to him to show more knowledge of guns than they +could have learned on that bright morning. What, thought Shard to +himself, if they should bring big guns against the Desperate Lark! And +the mere thought of it made him rail at Fate. But the merry men all +cheered when they rode away. Shard had only twenty-two oxen left, and +then a score or so of the Arabs dismounted while the rest rode further +on leading their horses. And the dismounted men lay down on the port +bow behind some rocks two hundred yards away and began to shoot at the +oxen. Shard had just enough of them left to manoeuvre his ship with an +effort and he turned his ship a few points to the starboard so as to +get a broadside at the rocks. But grape was of no use here as the only +way he could get an Arab was by hitting one of the rocks with shot +behind which an Arab was lying, and the rocks were not easy to hit +except by chance, and as often as he manoeuvred his ship the Arabs +changed their ground. This went on all day while the mounted Arabs +hovered out of range watching what Shard would do; and all the while +the oxen were growing fewer, so good a mark were they, until only ten +were left, and the ship could manoeuvre no longer. But then they all +rode off. + +The merry men were delighted, they calculated that one way and another +they had unhorsed a hundred Arabs and on board there had been no more +than one man wounded: Bad Jack had been hit in the wrist; probably by +a bullet meant for the men at the guns, for the Arabs were firing +high. They had captured a horse and had found quaint weapons on the +bodies of the dead Arabs and an interesting kind of tobacco. It was +evening now and they talked over the fight, made jokes about their +luckier shots, smoked their new tobacco and sang; altogether it was +the jolliest evening they'd had. But Shard alone on the quarter-deck +paced to and fro pondering, brooding and wondering. He had chopped off +Bad Jack's wounded hand and given him a hook out of store, for captain +does doctor upon these occasions and Shard, who was ready for most +things, kept half a dozen or so of neat new limbs, and of course a +chopper. Bad Jack had gone below swearing a little and said he'd lie +down for a bit, the men were smoking and singing on the sand, and +Shard was there alone. The thought that troubled Shard was: what would +the Arabs do? They did not look like men to go away for nothing. And +at back of all his thoughts was one that reiterated guns, guns, guns. +He argued with himself that they could not drag them all that way on +the sand, that the Desperate Lark was not worth it, that they had +given it up. Yet he knew in his heart that that was what they would +do. He knew there were fortified towns in Africa, and as for its being +worth it, he knew that there was no pleasant thing left now to those +defeated men except revenge, and if the Desperate Lark had come over +the sand why not guns? He knew that the ship could never hold out +against guns and cavalry, a week perhaps, two weeks, even three: what +difference did it make how long it was, and the men sang: + + Away we go, Oho, Oho, Oho, + A drop of rum for you and me + And the world's as round as the letter O + And round it runs the sea. + +A melancholy settled down on Shard. + +About sunset Lieutenant Smerdrak came up for orders. Shard ordered a +trench to be dug along the port side of the ship. The men wanted to +sing and grumbled at having to dig, especially as Shard never +mentioned his fear of guns, but he fingered his pistols and in the end +Shard had his way. No one on board could shoot like Captain Shard. +That is often the way with captains of pirate ships, it is a difficult +position to hold. Discipline is essential to those that have the right +to fly the skull-and-cross-bones, and Shard was the man to enforce it. +It was starlight by the time the trench was dug to the captain's +satisfaction and the men that it was to protect when the worst came to +the worst swore all the time as they dug. And when it was finished +they clamoured to make a feast on some of the killed oxen, and this +Shard let them do. And they lit a huge fire for the first time, +burning abundant scrub, they thinking that Arabs daren't return, Shard +knowing that concealment was now useless. All that night they feasted +and sang, and Shard sat up in his chart-room making his plans. + +When morning came they rigged up the cutter as they called the +captured horse and told off her crew. As there were only two men that +could ride at all these became the crew of the cutter. Spanish Dick +and Bill the Boatswain were the two. + +Shard's orders were that turn and turn about they should take command +of the cutter and cruise about five miles off to the North East all +the day but at night they were to come in. And they fitted the horse +up with a flagstaff in front of the saddle so that they could signal +from her, and carried an anchor behind for fear she should run away. + +And as soon as Spanish Dick had ridden off Shard sent some men to roll +all the barrels back from the depot where they were buried in the +sand, with orders to watch the cutter all the time and, if she +signalled, to return as fast as they could. + +They buried the Arabs that day, removing their water-bottles and any +provisions they had, and that night they got all the water-barrels in, +and for days nothing happened. One event of extraordinary importance +did indeed occur, the wind got up one day, but it was due South, and +as the oasis lay to the North of them and beyond that they might pick +up the camel track Shard decided to stay where he was. If it had +looked to him like lasting Shard might have hoisted sail but it it +dropped at evening as he knew it would, and in any case it was not the +wind he wanted. And more days went by, two weeks without a breeze. The +dead oxen would not keep and they had had to kill three more, there +were only seven left now. + +Never before had the men been so long without rum. And Captain Shard +had doubled the watch besides making two more men sleep at the guns. +They had tired of their simple games, and most of their songs, and +their tales that were never true were no longer new. And then one day +the monotony of the desert came down upon them. + +There is a fascination in the Sahara, a day there is delightful, a +week is pleasant, a fortnight is a matter of opinion, but it was +running into months. The men were perfectly polite but the boatswain +wanted to know when Shard thought of moving on. It was an unreasonable +question to ask of the captain of any ship in a dead calm in a desert, +but Shard said he would set a course and let him know in a day or two. +And a day or two went by over the monotony of the Sahara, who for +monotony is unequalled by all the parts of the earth. Great marshes +cannot equal it, nor plains of grass nor the sea, the Sahara alone +lies unaltered by the seasons, she has no altering surface, no flowers +to fade or grow, year in year out she is changeless for hundreds and +hundreds of miles. And the boatswain came again and took off his cap +and asked Captain Shard to be so kind as to tell them about his new +course. Shard said he meant to stay until they had eaten three more of +the oxen as they could only take three of them in the hold, there were +only six left now. But what if there was no wind, the boatswain said. +And at that moment the faintest breeze from the North ruffled the +boatswain's forelock as he stood with his cap in his hand. + +"Don't talk about the wind to _me_," said Captain Shard: and Bill was +a little frightened for Shard's mother had been a gipsy. + +But it was only a breeze astray, a trick of the Sahara. And another +week went by and they ate two more oxen. + +They obeyed Captain Shard ostentatiously now but they wore ominous +looks. Bill came again and Shard answered him in Romany. + +Things were like this one hot Sahara morning when the cutter +signalled. The lookout man told Shard and Shard read the message, +"Cavalry astern" it read, and then a little later she signalled, "With +guns." + +"Ah," said Captain Shard. + +One ray of hope Shard had; the flags on the cutter fluttered. For the +first time for five weeks a light breeze blew from the North, very +light, you hardly felt it. Spanish Dick rode in and anchored his horse +to starboard and the cavalry came on slowly from the port. + +Not till the afternoon did they come in sight, and all the while that +little breeze was blowing. + +"One knot," said Shard at noon. "Two knots," he said at six bells and +still it grew and the Arabs trotted nearer. By five o'clock the merry +men of the bad ship Desperate Lark could make out twelve long +old-fashioned guns on low wheeled carts dragged by horses and what +looked like lighter guns carried on camels. The wind was blowing a +little stronger now. "Shall we hoist sail, sir?" said Bill. + +"Not yet," said Shard. + +By six o'clock the Arabs were just outside the range of cannon and +there they halted. Then followed an anxious hour or so, but the Arabs +came no nearer. They evidently meant to wait till dark to bring their +guns up. Probably they intended to dig a gun epaulment from which they +could safely pound away at the ship. + +"We could do three knots," said Shard half to himself as he was +walking up and down his quarter-deck with very fast short paces. And +then the sun set and they heard the Arabs praying and Shard's merry +men cursed at the top of their voices to show that they were as good +men as they. + +The Arabs had come no nearer, waiting for night. They did not know how +Shard was longing for it too, he was gritting his teeth and sighing +for it, he even would have prayed, but that he feared that it might +remind Heaven of him and his merry men. + +Night came and the stars. "Hoist sail," said Shard. The men sprang to +their places, they had had enough of that silent lonely spot. They +took the oxen on board and let the great sails down, and like a lover +coming from over sea, long dreamed of, long expected, like a lost +friend seen again after many years, the North wind came into the +pirates' sails. And before Shard could stop it a ringing English cheer +went away to the wondering Arabs. + +They started off at three knots and soon they might have done four but +Shard would not risk it at night. All night the wind held good, and +doing three knots from ten to four they were far out of sight of the +Arabs when daylight came. And then Shard hoisted more sail and they +did four knots and by eight bells they were doing four and a half. The +spirits of those volatile men rose high, and discipline became +perfect. So long as there was wind in the sails and water in the tanks +Captain Shard felt safe at least from mutiny. Great men can only be +overthrown while their fortunes are at their lowest. Having failed to +depose Shard when his plans were open to criticism and he himself +scarce knew what to do next it was hardly likely they could do it now; +and whatever we think of his past and his way of living we cannot deny +that Shard was among the great men of the world. + +Of defeat by the Arabs he did not feel so sure. It was useless to try +to cover his tracks even if he had had time, the Arab cavalry could +have picked them up anywhere. And he was afraid of their camels with +those light guns on board, he had heard they could do seven knots and +keep it up most of the day and if as much as one shot struck the +mainmast... and Shard taking his mind off useless fears worked out on +his chart when the Arabs were likely to overtake them. He told his men +that the wind would hold good for a week, and, gipsy or no, he +certainly knew as much about the wind as is good for a sailor to know. + +Alone in his chart-room he worked it out like this, mark two hours to +the good for surprise and finding the tracks and delay in starting, +say three hours if the guns were mounted in their epaulments, then the +Arabs should start at seven. Supposing the camels go twelve hours a +day at seven knots they would do eighty-four knots a day, while Shard +doing three knots from ten to four, and four knots the rest of the +time, was doing ninety and actually gaining. But when it came to it he +wouldn't risk more than two knots at night while the enemy were out of +sight, for he rightly regarded anything more than that as dangerous +when sailing on land at night, so he too did eighty-four knots a day. +It was a pretty race. I have not troubled to see if Shard added up his +figures wrongly or if he under-rated the pace of camels, but whatever +it was the Arabs gained slightly, for on the fourth day Spanish Jack, +five knots astern on what they called the cutter, sighted the camels a +very long way off and signalled the fact to Shard. They had left their +cavalry behind as Shard supposed they would. The wind held good, they +had still two oxen left and could always eat their "cutter", and they +had a fair, though not ample, supply of water, but the appearance of +the Arabs was a blow to Shard for it showed him that there was no +getting away from them, and of all things he dreaded guns. He made +light of it to the men: said they would sink the lot before they had +been in action half an hour: yet he feared that once the guns came up +it was only a question of time before his rigging was cut or his +steering gear disabled. + +One point the Desperate Lark scored over the Arabs and a very good one +too, darkness fell just before they could have sighted her and now +Shard used the lantern ahead as he dared not do on the first night +when the Arabs were close, and with the help of it managed to do three +knots. The Arabs encamped in the evening and the Desperate Lark gained +twenty knots. But the next evening they appeared again and this time +they saw the sails of the Desperate Lark. + +On the sixth day they were close. On the seventh they were closer. And +then, a line of verdure across their bows, Shard saw the Niger River. + +Whether he knew that for a thousand miles it rolled its course through +forest, whether he even knew that it was there at all; what his plans +were, or whether he lived from day to day like a man whose days are +numbered he never told his men. Nor can I get an indication on this +point from the talk that I hear from sailors in their cups in a +certain tavern I know of. His face was expressionless, his mouth shut, +and he held his ship to her course. That evening they were up to the +edge of the tree trunks and the Arabs camped and waited ten knots +astern and the wind had sunk a little. + +There Shard anchored a little before sunset and landed at once. At +first he explored the forest a little on foot. Then he sent for +Spanish Dick. They had slung the cutter on board some days ago when +they found she could not keep up. Shard could not ride but he sent for +Spanish Dick and told him he must take him as a passenger. So Spanish +Dick slung him in front of the saddle "before the mast" as Shard +called it, for they still carried a mast on the front of the saddle, +and away they galloped together. "Rough weather," said Shard, but he +surveyed the forest as he went and the long and short of it was he +found a place where the forest was less than half a mile thick and the +Desperate Lark might get through: but twenty trees must be cut. Shard +marked the trees himself, sent Spanish Dick right back to watch the +Arabs and turned the whole of his crew on to those twenty trees. It +was a frightful risk, the Desperate Lark was empty, with an enemy no +more than ten knots astern, but it was a moment for bold measures and +Shard took the chance of being left without his ship in the heart of +Africa in the hope of being repaid by escaping altogether. + +The men worked all night on those twenty trees, those that had no axes +bored with bradawls and blasted, and then relieved those that had. + +Shard was indefatigable, he went from tree to tree showing exactly +what way every one was to fall, and what was to be done with them when +they were down. Some had to be cut down because their branches would +get in the way of the masts, others because their trunks would be in +the way of the wheels; in the case of the last the stumps had to be +made smooth and low with saws and perhaps a bit of the trunk sawn off +and rolled away. This was the hardest work they had. And they were all +large trees, on the other hand had they been small there would have +been many more of them and they could not have sailed in and out, +sometimes for hundreds of yards, without cutting any at all: and all +this Shard calculated on doing if only there was time. + +The light before dawn came and it looked as if they would never do it +at all. And then dawn came and it was all done but one tree, the hard +part of the work had all been done in the night and a sort of final +rush cleared everything up except that one huge tree. And then the +cutter signalled the Arabs were moving. At dawn they had prayed, and +now they had struck their camp. Shard at once ordered all his men to +the ship except ten whom he left at the tree, they had some way to go +and the Arabs had been moving some ten minutes before they got there. +Shard took in the cutter which wasted five minutes, hoisted sail +short-handed and that took five minutes more, and slowly got under +way. + +The wind was dropping still and by the time the Desperate Lark had +come to the edge of that part of the forest through which Shard had +laid his course the Arabs were no more than five knots away. He had +sailed East half a mile, which he ought to have done overnight so as +to be ready, but he could not spare time or thought or men away from +those twenty trees. Then Shard turned into the forest and the Arabs +were dead astern. They hurried when they saw the Desperate Lark enter +the forest. + +"Doing ten knots," said Shard as he watched them from the deck. The +Desperate Lark was doing no more than a knot and a half for the wind +was weak under the lee of the trees. Yet all went well for a while. +The big tree had just come down some way ahead, and the ten men were +sawing bits off the trunk. + +And then Shard saw a branch that he had not marked on the chart, it +would just catch the top of the mainmast. He anchored at once and sent +a hand aloft who sawed it half way through and did the rest with a +pistol, and now the Arabs were only three knots astern. For a quarter +of a mile Shard steered them through the forest till they came to the +ten men and that bad big tree, another foot had yet to come off one +corner of the stump for the wheels had to pass over it. Shard turned +all hands on to the stump and it was then that the Arabs came within +shot. But they had to unpack their gun. And before they had it mounted +Shard was away. If they had charged things might have been different. +When they saw the Desperate Lark under way again the Arabs came on to +within three hundred yards and there they mounted two guns. Shard +watched them along his stern gun but would not fire. They were six +hundred yards away before the Arabs could fire and then they fired too +soon and both guns missed. And Shard and his merry men saw clear water +only ten fathoms ahead. Then Shard loaded his stern gun with canister +instead of shot and at the same moment the Arabs charged on their +camels; they came galloping down through the forest waving long +lances. Shard left the steering to Smerdrak and stood by the stern +gun, the Arabs were within fifty yards and still Shard did not fire; +he had most of his men in the stern with muskets beside him. Those +lances carried on camels were altogether different from swords in the +hands of horsemen, they could reach the men on deck. The men could see +the horrible barbs on the lanceheads, they were almost at their faces +when Shard fired, and at the same moment the Desperate Lark with her +dry and suncracked keel in air on the high bank of the Niger fell +forward like a diver. The gun went off through the tree-tops, a wave +came over the bows and swept the stern, the Desperate Lark wriggled +and righted herself, she was back in her element. + +The merry men looked at the wet decks and at their dripping +clothes. "Water," they said almost wonderingly. + +The Arabs followed a little way through the forest but when they saw +that they had to face a broadside instead of one stern gun and +perceived that a ship afloat is less vulnerable to cavalry even than +when on shore, they abandoned ideas of revenge, and comforted +themselves with a text out of their sacred book which tells how in +other days and other places our enemies shall suffer even as we +desire. + +For a thousand miles with the flow of the Niger and the help of +occasional winds, the Desperate Lark moved seawards. At first he +sweeps East a little and then Southwards, till you come to Akassa and +the open sea. + +I will not tell you how they caught fish and ducks, raided a village +here and there and at last came to Akassa, for I have said much +already of Captain Shard. Imagine them drawing nearer and nearer the +sea, bad men all, and yet with a feeling for something where we feel +for our king, our country or our home, a feeling for something that +burned in them not less ardently than our feelings in us, and that +something the sea. Imagine them nearing it till sea birds appeared and +they fancied they felt sea breezes and all sang songs again that they +had not sung for weeks. Imagine them heaving at last on the salt +Atlantic again. + +I have said much already of Captain Shard and I fear lest I shall +weary you, O my reader, if I tell you any more of so bad a man. I too +at the top of a tower all alone am weary. + +And yet it is right that such a tale should be told. A journey almost +due South from near Algiers to Akassa in a ship that we should call no +more than a yacht. Let it be a stimulus to younger men. + + + Guarantee To The Reader + +Since writing down for your benefit, O my reader, all this long tale +that I heard in the tavern by the sea I have travelled in Algeria and +Tunisia as well as in the Desert. Much that I saw in those countries +seems to throw doubt on the tale that the sailor told me. To begin +with the Desert does not come within hundreds of miles of the coast +and there are more mountains to cross than you would suppose, the +Atlas mountains in particular. It is just possible Shard might have +got through by El Cantara, following the camel road which is many +centuries old; or he may have gone by Algiers and Bou Saada and +through the mountain pass El Finita Dem, though that is a bad enough +way for camels to go (let alone bullocks with a ship) for which reason +the Arabs call it Finita Dem--the Path of Blood. + +I should not have ventured to give this story the publicity of print +had the sailor been sober when he told it, for fear that he I should +have deceived you, O my reader; but this was never the case with him +as I took good care to ensure: "in vino veritas" is a sound old +proverb, and I never had cause to doubt his word unless that proverb +lies. + +If it should prove that he has deceived me, let it pass; but if he has +been the means of deceiving you there are little things about him that +I know, the common gossip of that ancient tavern whose leaded +bottle-glass windows watch the sea, which I will tell at once to every +judge of my acquaintance, and it will be a pretty race to see which of +them will hang him. + +Meanwhile, O my reader, believe the story, resting assured that if you +are taken in the thing shall be a matter for the hangman. + + + + + +A Tale of the Equator + +He who is Sultan so remote to the East that his dominions were deemed +fabulous in Babylon, whose name is a by-word for distance today in the +streets of Bagdad, whose capital bearded travellers invoke by name in +the gate at evening to gather hearers to their tales when the smoke of +tobacco arises, dice rattle and taverns shine; even he in that very +city made mandate, and said: "Let there be brought hither all my +learned men that they may come before me and rejoice my heart with +learning." + +Men ran and clarions sounded, and it was so that there came before the +Sultan all of his learned men. And many were found wanting. But of +those that were able to say acceptable things, ever after to be named +The Fortunate, one said that to the South of the Earth lay a Land-- +said Land was crowned with lotus--where it was summer in our winter +days and where it was winter in summer. + +And when the Sultan of those most distant lands knew that the Creator +of All had contrived a device so vastly to his delight his merriment +knew no bounds. On a sudden he spake and said, and this was the gist +of his saying, that upon that line of boundary or limit that divided +the North from the South a palace be made, where in the Northern +courts should summer be, while in the South was winter; so should he +move from court to court according to his mood, and dally with the +summer in the morning and spend the noon with snow. So the Sultan's +poets were sent for and bade to tell of that city, foreseeing its +splendour far away to the South and in the future of time; and some +were found fortunate. And of those that were found fortunate and were +crowned with flowers none earned more easily the Sultan's smile (on +which long days depended) than he that foreseeing the city spake of it +thus: + +"In seven years and seven days, O Prop of Heaven, shall thy builders +build it, thy palace that is neither North nor South, where neither +summer nor winter is sole lord of the hours. White I see it, very +vast, as a city, very fair, as a woman, Earth's wonder, with many +windows, with thy princesses peering out at twilight; yea, I behold +the bliss of the gold balconies, and hear a rustling down long +galleries and the doves' coo upon its sculptured eaves. O Prop of +Heaven, would that so fair a city were built by thine ancient sires, +the children of the sun, that so might all men see it even today, and +not the poets only, whose vision sees it so far away to the South and +in the future of time. + +"O King of the Years, it shall stand midmost on that line that +divideth equally the North from the South and that parteth the seasons +asunder as with a screen. On the Northern side when summer is in the +North thy silken guards shall pace by dazzling walls while thy +spearsmen clad in furs go round the South. But at the hour of noon in +the midmost day of the year thy chamberlain shall go down from his +high place and into the midmost court, and men with trumpets shall go +down behind him, and he shall utter a great cry at noon, and the men +with trumpets shall cause their trumpets to blare, and the spearsmen +clad in furs shall march to the North and thy silken guard shall take +their place in the South, and summer shall leave the North and go to +the South, and all the swallows shall rise and follow after. And alone +in thine inner courts shall no change be, for they shall lie narrowly +along that line that parteth the seasons in sunder and divideth the +North from the South, and thy long gardens shall lie under them. + +"And in thy gardens shall spring always be, for spring lies ever at +the marge of summer; and autumn also shall always tint thy gardens, +for autumn always flares at winter's edge, and those gardens shall lie +apart between winter and summer. And there shall be orchards in thy +garden, too, with all the burden of autumn on their boughs and all the +blossom of spring. + +"Yea, I behold this palace, for we see future things; I see its white +wall shine in the huge glare of midsummer, and the lizards lying along +it motionless in the sun, and men asleep in the noonday, and the +butterflies floating by, and birds of radiant plumage chasing +marvellous moths; far off the forest and great orchids glorying there, +and iridescent insects dancing round in the light. I see the wall upon +the other side; the snow has come upon the battlements, the icicles +have fringed them like frozen beards, a wild wind blowing out of +lonely places and crying to the cold fields as it blows has sent the +snowdrifts higher than the buttresses; they that look out through +windows on that side of thy palace see the wild geese flying low and +all the birds of the winter, going by swift in packs beat low by the +bitter wind, and the clouds above them are black, for it is midwinter +there; while in thine other courts the fountains tinkle, falling on +marble warmed by the fire of the summer sun. + +"Such, O King of the Years, shall thy palace be, and its name shall be +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder; and thy wisdom shall bid thine +architects build at once, that all may see what as yet the poets see +only, and that prophecy be fulfilled." + +And when the poet ceased the Sultan spake, and said, as all men +hearkened with bent heads: + +"It will be unnecessary for my builders to build this palace, +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder, for in hearing thee we have drunk +already its pleasures." + +And the poet went forth from the Presence and dreamed a new thing. + + . . . . . + + + + + +A Narrow Escape + +It was underground. + +In that dank cavern down below Belgrave Square the walls were +dripping. But what was that to the magician? It was secrecy that he +needed, not dryness. There he pondered upon the trend of events, +shaped destinies and concocted magical brews. + +For the last few years the serenity of his ponderings had been +disturbed by the noise of the motor-bus; while to his keen ears there +came the earthquake-rumble, far off, of the train in the tube, going +down Sloane Street; and when he heard of the world above his head was +not to its credit. + +He decided one evening over his evil pipe, down there in his dank +chamber, that London had lived long enough, had abused its +opportunities, had gone too far, in fine, with its civilisation. And +so he decided to wreck it. + +Therefore he beckoned up his acolyte from the weedy end of the cavern, +and, "Bring me," he said, "the heart of the toad that dwelleth in +Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." The acolyte slipped away by +the hidden door, leaving that grim old man with his frightful pipe, +and whither he went who knows but the gipsy people, or by what path he +returned; but within a year he stood in the cavern again, slipping +secretly in by the trap while the old man smoked, and he brought with +him a little fleshy thing that rotted in a casket of pure gold. + +"What is it?" the old man croaked. + +"It is," said the acolyte, "the heart of the toad that dwelt once +in Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." + +The old man's crooked fingers closed on it, and he blessed the acolyte +with his rasping voice and claw-like hand uplifted; the motor-bus +rumbled above on its endless journey; far off the train shook Sloane +Street. + +"Come," said the old magician, "it is time." And there and then they +left the weedy cavern, the acolyte carrying cauldron, gold poker and +all things needful, and went abroad in the light. And very wonderful +the old man looked in his silks. + +Their goal was the outskirts of London; the old man strode in front +and the acolyte ran behind him, and there was something magical in the +old man's stride alone, without his wonderful dress, the cauldron and +wand, the hurrying acolyte and the small gold poker. + +Little boys jeered till they caught the old man's eye. So there went +on through London this strange procession of two, too swift for any to +follow. Things seemed worse up there than they did in the cavern, and +the further they got on their way towards London's outskirts the worse +London got. "It is time," said the old man, "surely." + +And so they came at last to London's edge and a small hill watching it +with a mournful look. It was so mean that the acolyte longed for the +cavern, dank though it was and full of terrible sayings that the old +man said when he slept. + +They climbed the hill and put the cauldron down, and put there in the +necessary things, and lit a fire of herbs that no chemist will sell +nor decent gardener grow, and stirred the cauldron with the golden +poker. The magician retired a little apart and muttered, then he +strode back to the cauldron and, all being ready, suddenly opened the +casket and let the fleshy thing fall in to boil. + +Then he made spells, then he flung up his arms; the fumes from the +cauldron entering in at his mind he said raging things that he had not +known before and runes that were dreadful (the acolyte screamed); +there he cursed London from fog to loam-pit, from zenith to the abyss, +motor-bus, factory, shop, parliament, people. "Let them all perish," +he said, "and London pass away, tram lines and bricks and pavement, +the usurpers too long of the fields, let them all pass away and the +wild hares come back, blackberry and briar-rose." + +"Let it pass," he said, "pass now, pass utterly." + +In the momentary silence the old man coughed, then waited with eager +eyes; and the long long hum of London hummed as it always has since +first the reed-huts were set up by the river, changing its note at +times but always humming, louder now than it was in years gone by, but +humming night and day though its voice be cracked with age; so it +hummed on. + +And the old man turned him round to his trembling acolyte and terribly +said as he sank into the earth: "YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT ME THE HEART +OF THE TOAD THAT DWELLETH IN ARABIA NOR BY THE MOUNTAINS OF BETHANY!" + + + + + +The Watch-tower + +I sat one April in Provence on a small hill above an ancient town +that Goth and Vandal as yet have forborne to "bring up to date." + +On the hill was an old worn castle with a watch-tower, and a well with +narrow steps and water in it still. + +The watch-tower, staring South with neglected windows, faced a broad +valley full of the pleasant twilight and the hum of evening things: it +saw the fires of wanderers blink from the hills, beyond them the long +forest black with pines, one star appearing, and darkness settling +slowly down on Var. + +Sitting there listening to the green frogs croaking, hearing far +voices clearly but all transmuted by evening, watching the windows in +the little town glimmering one by one, and seeing the gloaming dwindle +solemnly into night, a great many things fell from mind that seem +important by day, and evening in their place planted strange fancies. + +Little winds had arisen and were whispering to and fro, it grew cold, +and I was about to descend the hill, when I heard a voice behind me +saying, "Beware, beware." + +So much the voice appeared a part of the evening that I did not turn +round at first; it was like voices that one hears in sleep and thinks +to be of one's dream. And the word was monotonously repeated, in +French. + +When I turned round I saw an old man with a horn. He had a white beard +marvellously long, and still went on saying slowly, "Beware, beware." +He had clearly just come from the tower by which he stood, though I +had heard no footfall. Had a man come stealthily upon me at such an +hour and in so lonesome a place I had certainly felt surprised; but I +saw almost at once that he was a spirit, and he seemed with his +uncouth horn and his long white beard and that noiseless step of his +to be so native to that time and place that I spoke to him as one does +to some fellow-traveller who asks you if you mind having the window +up. + +I asked him what there was to beware of. + +"Of what should a town beware," he said, "but the Saracens?" + +"Saracens?" I said. + +"Yes, Saracens, Saracens," he answered and brandished his horn. + +"And who are you?" I said. + +"I, I am the spirit of the tower," he said. + +When I asked him how he came by so human an aspect and was so unlike +the material tower beside him he told me that the lives of all the +watchers who had ever held the horn in the tower there had gone to +make the spirit of the tower. "It takes a hundred lives," he said. +"None hold the horn of late and men neglect the tower. When the walls +are in ill repair the Saracens come: it was ever so." + +"The Saracens don't come nowadays," I said. + +But he was gazing past me watching, and did not seem to heed me. + +"They will run down those hills," he said, pointing away to the South, +"out of the woods about nightfall, and I shall blow my horn. The +people will all come up from the town to the tower again; but the +loopholes are in very ill repair." + +"We never hear of the Saracens now," I said. + +"Hear of the Saracens!" the old spirit said. "Hear of the Saracens! +They slip one evening out of that forest, in the long white robes that +they wear, and I blow my horn. That is the first that anyone ever +hears of the Saracens." + +"I mean," I said, "that they never come at all. They cannot come and +men fear other things." For I thought the old spirit might rest if he +knew that the Saracens can never come again. But he said, "There is +nothing in the world to fear but the Saracens. Nothing else matters. +How can men fear other things?" + +Then I explained, so that he might have rest, and told him how all +Europe, and in particular France, had terrible engines of war, both on +land and sea; and how the Saracens had not these terrible engines +either on sea or land, and so could by no means cross the +Mediterranean or escape destruction on shore even though they should +come there. I alluded to the European railways that could move armies +night and day faster than horses could gallop. And when as well as I +could I had explained all, he answered, "In time all these things pass +away and then there will still be the Saracens." + +And then I said, "There has not been a Saracen either in France +or Spain for over four hundred years." + +And he said, "The Saracens! You do not know their cunning. That was +ever the way of the Saracens. They do not come for a while, no not +they, for a long while, and then one day they come." + +And peering southwards, but not seeing clearly because of the rising +mist, he silently moved to his tower and up its broken steps. + + + + + +How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire + +In a thatched cottage of enormous size, so vast that we might consider +it a palace, but only a cottage in the style of its building, its +timbers and the nature of its interior, there lived Plash-Goo. + +Plash-Goo was of the children of the giants, whose sire was Uph. And +the lineage of Uph had dwindled in bulk for the last five hundred +years, till the giants were now no more than fifteen foot high; but +Uph ate elephants which he caught with his hands. + +Now on the tops of the mountains above the house of Plash-Goo, for +Plash-Goo lived in the plains, there dwelt the dwarf whose name was +Lrippity-Kang. And the dwarf used to walk at evening on the edge of +the tops of the mountains, and would walk up and down along it, and +was squat and ugly and hairy, and was plainly seen of Plash-Goo. + +And for many weeks the giant had suffered the sight of him, but at +length grew irked at the sight (as men are by little things), and +could not sleep of a night and lost his taste for pigs. And at last +there came the day, as anyone might have known, when Plash-Goo +shouldered his club and went up to look for the dwarf. + +And the dwarf though briefly squat was broader than may be dreamed, +beyond all breadth of man, and stronger than men may know; strength in +its very essence dwelt in that little frame, as a spark in the heart +of a flint: but to Plash-Goo he was no more than mis-shapen, bearded +and squat, a thing that dared to defy all natural laws by being more +broad than long. + +When Plash-Goo came to the mountain he cast his chimahalk down (for so +he named the club of his heart's desire) lest the dwarf should defy +him with nimbleness; and stepped towards Lrippity-Kang with gripping +hands, who stopped in his mountainous walk without a word, and swung +round his hideous breadth to confront Plash-Goo. Already then +Plash-Goo in the deeps of his mind had seen himself seize the dwarf in +one large hand and hurl him with his beard and his hated breadth sheer +down the precipice that dropped away from that very place to the land +of None's Desire. Yet it was otherwise that Fate would have it. For +the dwarf parried with his little arms the grip of those monstrous +hands, and gradually working along the enormous limbs came at length +to the giant's body where by dwarfish cunning he obtained a grip; and +turning Plash-Goo about, as a spider does some great fly, till his +little grip was suitable to his purpose, he suddenly lifted the giant +over his head. Slowly at first, by the edge of that precipice whose +base sheer distance hid, he swung his giant victim round his head, but +soon faster and faster; and at last when Plash-Goo was streaming round +the hated breadth of the dwarf and the no less hated beard was +flapping in the wind, Lrippity-Kang let go. Plash-Goo shot over the +edge and for some way further, out towards Space, like a stone; then +he began to fall. It was long before he believed and truly knew that +this was really he that fell from this mountain, for we do not +associate such dooms with ourselves; but when he had fallen for some +while through the evening and saw below him, where there had been +nothing to see, or began to see, the glimmer of tiny fields, then his +optimism departed; till later on when the fields were greener and +larger he saw that this was indeed (and growing now terribly nearer) +that very land to which he had destined the dwarf. + +At last he saw it unmistakable, close, with its grim houses and its +dreadful ways, and its green fields shining in the light of the +evening. His cloak was streaming from him in whistling shreds. + +So Plash-Goo came to the Land of None's Desire. + + + + + +The Three Sailors' Gambit + +Sitting some years ago in the ancient tavern at Over, one afternoon in +Spring, I was waiting, as was my custom, for something strange to +happen. In this I was not always disappointed for the very curious +leaded panes of that tavern, facing the sea, let a light into the +low-ceilinged room so mysterious, particularly at evening, that it +somehow seemed to affect the events within. Be that as it may, I have +seen strange things in that tavern and heard stranger things told. + +And as I sat there three sailors entered the tavern, just back, as +they said, from sea, and come with sunburned skins from a very long +voyage to the South; and one of them had a board and chessmen under +his arm, and they were complaining that they could find no one who +knew how to play chess. This was the year that the Tournament was in +England. And a little dark man at a table in a corner of the room, +drinking sugar and water, asked them why they wished to play chess; +and they said they would play any man for a pound. They opened their +box of chessmen then, a cheap and nasty set, and the man refused to +play with such uncouth pieces, and the sailors suggested that perhaps +he could find better ones; and in the end he went round to his +lodgings near by and brought his own, and then they sat down to play +for a pound a side. It was a consultation game on the part of the +sailors, they said that all three must play. + +Well, the little dark man turned out to be Stavlokratz. + +Of course he was fabulously poor, and the sovereign meant more to him +than it did to the sailors, but he didn't seem keen to play, it was +the sailors that insisted; he had made the badness of the sailors' +chessmen an excuse for not playing at all, but the sailors had +overruled that, and then he told them straight out who he was, and the +sailors had never heard of Stavlokratz. + +Well, no more was said after that. Stavlokratz said no more, either +because he did not wish to boast or because he was huffed that they +did not know who he was. And I saw no reason to enlighten the sailors +about him; if he took their pound they had brought it upon themselves, +and my boundless admiration for his genius made me feel that he +deserved whatever might come his way. He had not asked to play, they +had named the stakes, he had warned them, and gave them the first +move; there was nothing unfair about Stavlokratz. + +I had never seen Stavlokratz before, but I had played over nearly +every one of his games in the World Championship for the last three or +four years; he was always of course the model chosen by students. Only +young chess-players can appreciate my delight at seeing him play first +hand. + +Well, the sailors used to lower their heads almost as low as the table +and mutter together before every move, but they muttered so low that +you could not hear what they planned. + +They lost three pawns almost straight off, then a knight, and shortly +after a bishop; they were playing in fact the famous Three Sailors' +Gambit. + +Stavlokratz was playing with the easy confidence that they say was +usual with him, when suddenly at about the thirteenth move I saw him +look surprised; he leaned forward and looked at the board and then at +the sailors, but he learned nothing from their vacant faces; he looked +back at the board again. + +He moved more deliberately after that; the sailors lost two more +pawns, Stavlokratz had lost nothing as yet. He looked at me I thought +almost irritably, as though something would happen that he wished I +was not there to see. I believed at first that he had qualms about +taking the sailors' pound, until it dawned on me that he might lose +the game; I saw that possibility in his face, not on the board, for +the game had become almost incomprehensible to me. I cannot describe +my astonishment. And a few moves later Stavlokratz resigned. + +The sailors showed no more elation than if they had won some game with +greasy cards, playing amongst themselves. + +Stavlokratz asked them where they got their opening. "We kind of +thought of it," said one. "It just come into our heads like," said +another. He asked them questions about the ports they had touched at. +He evidently thought as I did myself that they had learned their +extraordinary gambit, perhaps in some old dependancy of Spain, from +some young master of chess whose fame had not reached Europe. He was +very eager to find out who this man could be, for neither of us +imagined that those sailors had invented it, nor would anyone who had +seen them. But he got no information from the sailors. + +Stavlokratz could very ill afford the loss of a pound. He offered to +play them again for the same stakes. The sailors began to set up the +white pieces. Stavlokratz pointed out that it was his turn for the +first move. The sailors agreed but continued to set up the white +pieces and sat with the white before them waiting for him to move. It +was a trivial incident, but it revealed to Stavlokratz and myself that +none of these sailors was aware that white always moves first. + +Stavlokratz played them on his own opening, reasoning of course that +as they had never heard of Stavlokratz they would not know of his +opening; and with probably a very good hope of getting back his pound +he played the fifth variation with its tricky seventh move, at least +so he intended, but it turned to a variation unknown to the students +of Stavlokratz. + +Throughout this game I watched the sailors closely, and I became sure, +as only an attentive watcher can be, that the one on their left, Jim +Bunion, did not even know the moves. + +When I had made up my mind about this I watched only the other two, +Adam Bailey and Bill Sloggs, trying to make out which was the master +mind; and for a long while I could not. And then I heard Adam Bailey +mutter six words, the only words I heard throughout the game, of all +their consultations, "No, him with the horse's head." And I decided +that Adam Bailey did not know what a knight was, though of course he +might have been explaining things to Bill Sloggs, but it did not sound +like that; so that left Bill Sloggs. I watched Bill Sloggs after that +with a certain wonder; he was no more intellectual than the others to +look at, though rather more forceful perhaps. Poor old Stavlokratz was +beaten again. + +Well, in the end I paid for Stavlokratz, and tried to get a game with +Bill Sloggs alone, but this he would not agree to, it must be all +three or none: and then I went back with Stavlokratz to his lodgings. +He very kindly gave me a game: of course it did not last long but I am +prouder of having been beaten by Stavlokratz than of any game that I +have ever won. And then we talked for an hour about the sailors, and +neither of us could make head or tail of them. I told him what I had +noticed about Jim Bunion and Adam Bailey, and he agreed with me that +Bill Sloggs was the man, though as to how he had come by that gambit +or that variation of Stavlokratz's own opening he had no theory. + +I had the sailors' address which was that tavern as much as anywhere, +and they were to be there all evening. As evening drew in I went back +to the tavern, and found there still the three sailors. And I offered +Bill Sloggs two pounds for a game with him alone and he refused, but +in the end he played me for a drink. And then I found that he had not +heard of the "en passant" rule, and believed that the fact of checking +the king prevented him from castling, and did not know that a player +can have two or more queens on the board at the same time if he queens +his pawns, or that a pawn could ever become a knight; and he made as +many of the stock mistakes as he had time for in a short game, which I +won. I thought that I should have got at the secret then, but his +mates who had sat scowling all the while in the corner came up and +interfered. It was a breach of their compact apparently for one to +play by himself, at any rate they seemed angry. So I left the tavern +then and came back again next day, and the next day and the day after, +and often saw the sailors, but none were in a communicative mood. I +had got Stavlokratz to keep away, and they could get no one to play +chess with at a pound a side, and I would not play with them unless +they told me the secret. + +And then one evening I found Jim Bunion drunk, yet not so drunk as he +wished, for the two pounds were spent; and I gave him very nearly a +tumbler of whiskey, or what passed for whiskey in that tavern at Over, +and he told me the secret at once. I had given the others some whiskey +to keep them quiet, and later on in the evening they must have gone +out, but Jim Bunion stayed with me by a little table leaning across it +and talking low, right into my face, his breath smelling all the while +of what passed for whiskey. + +The wind was blowing outside as it does on bad nights in November, +coming up with moans from the South, towards which the tavern faced +with all its leaded panes, so that none but I was able to hear his +voice as Jim Bunion gave up his secret. They had sailed for years, he +told me, with Bill Snyth; and on their last voyage home Bill Snyth had +died. And he was buried at sea. Just the other side of the line they +buried him, and his pals divided his kit, and these three got his +crystal that only they knew he had, which Bill got one night in Cuba. +They played chess with the crystal. + +And he was going on to tell me about that night in Cuba when Bill had +bought the crystal from the stranger, how some folks might think they +had seen thunderstorms, but let them go and listen to that one that +thundered in Cuba when Bill was buying his crystal and they'd find +that they didn't know what thunder was. But then I interrupted him, +unfortunately perhaps, for it broke the thread of his tale and set him +rambling a while, and cursing other people and talking of other lands, +China, Port Said and Spain: but I brought him back to Cuba again in +the end. I asked him how they could play chess with a crystal; and he +said that you looked at the board and looked at the crystal, and there +was the game in the crystal the same as it was on the board, with all +the odd little pieces looking just the same though smaller, horses' +heads and whatnots; and as soon as the other man moved the move came +out in the crystal, and then your move appeared after it, and all you +had to do was to make it on the board. If you didn't make the move +that you saw in the crystal things got very bad in it, everything +horribly mixed and moving about rapidly, and scowling and making the +same move over and over again, and the crystal getting cloudier and +cloudier; it was best to take one's eyes away from it then, or one +dreamt about it afterwards, and the foul little pieces came and cursed +you in your sleep and moved about all night with their crooked moves. + +I thought then that, drunk though he was, he was not telling the +truth, and I promised to show him to people who played chess all their +lives so that he and his mates could get a pound whenever they liked, +and I promised not to reveal his secret even to Stavlokratz, if only +he would tell me all the truth; and this promise I have kept till long +after the three sailors have lost their secret. I told him straight +out that I did not believe in the crystal. Well, Jim Bunion leaned +forward then, even further across the table, and swore he had seen the +man from whom Bill had bought the crystal and that he was one to whom +anything was possible. To begin with his hair was villainously dark, +and his features were unmistakable even down there in the South, and +he could play chess with his eyes shut, and even then he could beat +anyone in Cuba. But there was more than this, there was the bargain he +made with Bill that told one who he was. He sold that crystal for Bill +Snyth's soul. + +Jim Bunion leaning over the table with his breath in my face nodded +his head several times and was silent. + +I began to question him then. Did they play chess as far away as Cuba? +He said they all did. Was it conceivable that any man would make such +a bargain as Snyth made? Wasn't the trick well known? Wasn't it in +hundreds of books? And if he couldn't read books mustn't he have heard +from sailors that it is the Devil's commonest dodge to get souls from +silly people? + +Jim Bunion had leant back in his own chair quietly smiling at my +questions but when I mentioned silly people he leaned forward again, +and thrust his face close to mine and asked me several times if I +called Bill Snyth silly. It seemed that these three sailors thought a +great deal of Bill Snyth and it made Jim Bunion angry to hear anything +said against him. I hastened to say that the bargain seemed silly +though not of course the man who made it; for the sailor was almost +threatening, and no wonder for the whiskey in that dim tavern would +madden a nun. + +When I said that the bargain seemed silly he smiled again, and then he +thundered his fist down on the table and said that no one had ever yet +got the best of Bill Snyth and that that was the worst bargain for +himself that the Devil ever made, and that from all he had read or +heard of the Devil he had never been so badly had before as the night +when he met Bill Snyth at the inn in the thunderstorm in Cuba, for +Bill Snyth already had the damndest soul at sea; Bill was a good +fellow, but his soul was damned right enough, so he got the crystal +for nothing. + +Yes, he was there and saw it all himself, Bill Snyth in the Spanish +inn and the candles flaring, and the Devil walking in and out of the +rain, and then the bargain between those two old hands, and the Devil +going out into the lightning, and the thunderstorm raging on, and Bill +Snyth sitting chuckling to himself between the bursts of the thunder. + +But I had more questions to ask and interrupted this reminiscence. Why +did they all three always play together? And a look of something like +fear came over Jim Bunion's face; and at first he would not speak. And +then he said to me that it was like this; they had not paid for that +crystal, but got it as their share of Bill Snyth's kit. If they had +paid for it or given something in exchange to Bill Snyth that would +have been all right, but they couldn't do that now because Bill was +dead, and they were not sure if the old bargain might not hold good. +And Hell must be a large and lonely place, and to go there alone must +be bad, and so the three agreed that they would all stick together, +and use the crystal all three or not at all, unless one died, and then +the two would use it and the one that was gone would wait for them. +And the last of the three to go would take the crystal with him, or +maybe the crystal would bring him. They didn't think, they said, they +were the kind of men for Heaven, and he hoped they knew their place +better than that, but they didn't fancy the notion of Hell alone, if +Hell it had to be. It was all right for Bill Snyth, he was afraid of +nothing. He had known perhaps five men that were not afraid of death, +but Bill Snyth was not afraid of Hell. He died with a smile on his +face like a child in its sleep; it was drink killed poor Bill Snyth. + +This was why I had beaten Bill Sloggs; Sloggs had the crystal on him +while we played, but would not use it; these sailors seemed to fear +loneliness as some people fear being hurt; he was the only one of the +three who could play chess at all, he had learnt it in order to be +able to answer questions and keep up their pretence, but he had learnt +it badly, as I found. I never saw the crystal, they never showed it to +anyone; but Jim Bunion told me that night that it was about the size +that the thick end of a hen's egg would be if it were round. And then +he fell asleep. + +There were many more questions that I would have asked him but I could +not wake him up. I even pulled the table away so that he fell to the +floor, but he slept on, and all the tavern was dark but for one candle +burning; and it was then that I noticed for the first time that the +other two sailors had gone, no one remained at all but Jim Bunion and +I and the sinister barman of that curious inn, and he too was asleep. + +When I saw that it was impossible to wake the sailor I went out into +the night. Next day Jim Bunion would talk of it no more; and when I +went back to Stavlokratz I found him already putting on paper his +theory about the sailors, which became accepted by chess-players, that +one of them had been taught their curious gambit and that the other +two between them had learnt all the defensive openings as well as +general play. Though who taught them no one could say, in spite of +enquiries made afterwards all along the Southern Pacific. + +I never learnt any more details from any of the three sailors, they +were always too drunk to speak or else not drunk enough to be +communicative. I seem just to have taken Jim Bunion at the flood. But +I kept my promise, it was I that introduced them to the Tournament, +and a pretty mess they made of established reputations. And so they +kept on for months, never losing a game and always playing for their +pound a side. I used to follow them wherever they went merely to watch +their play. They were more marvellous than Stavlokratz even in his +youth. + +But then they took to liberties such as giving their queen when +playing first-class players. And in the end one day when all three +were drunk they played the best player in England with only a row of +pawns. They won the game all right. But the ball broke to pieces. I +never smelt such a stench in all my life. + +The three sailors took it stoically enough, they signed on to +different ships and went back again to the sea, and the world of chess +lost sight, for ever I trust, of the most remarkable players it ever +knew, who would have altogether spoiled the game. + + + + + +The Exiles Club + +It was an evening party; and something someone had said to me had +started me talking about a subject that to me is full of fascination, +the subject of old religions, forsaken gods. The truth (for all +religions have some of it), the wisdom, the beauty, of the religions +of countries to which I travel have not the same appeal for me; for +one only notices in them their tyranny and intolerance and the abject +servitude that they claim from thought; but when a dynasty has been +dethroned in heaven and goes forgotten and outcast even among men, +one's eyes no longer dazzled by its power find something very wistful +in the faces of fallen gods suppliant to be remembered, something +almost tearfully beautiful, like a long warm summer twilight fading +gently away after some day memorable in the story of earthly wars. +Between what Zeus, for instance, has been once and the half-remembered +tale he is today there lies a space so great that there is no change +of fortune known to man whereby we may measure the height down which +he has fallen. And it is the same with many another god at whom once +the ages trembled and the twentieth century treats as an old wives' +tale. The fortitude that such a fall demands is surely more than +human. + +Some such things as these I was saying, and being upon a subject that +much attracts me I possibly spoke too loudly, certainly I was not +aware that standing close behind me was no less a person than the +ex-King of Eritivaria, the thirty islands of the East, or I would have +moderated my voice and moved away a little to give him more room. I +was not aware of his presence until his satellite, one who had fallen +with him into exile but still revolved about him, told me that his +master desired to know me; and so to my surprise I was presented +though neither of them even knew my name. And that was how I came to +be invited by the ex-King to dine at his club. + +At the time I could only account for his wishing to know me by +supposing that he found in his own exiled condition some likeness to +the fallen fortunes of the gods of whom I talked unwitting of his +presence; but now I know that it was not of himself he was thinking +when he asked me to dine at that club. + +The club would have been the most imposing building in any street in +London, but in that obscure mean quarter of London in which they had +built it it appeared unduly enormous. Lifting right up above those +grotesque houses and built in that Greek style that we call Georgian, +there was something Olympian about it. To my host an unfashionable +street could have meant nothing, through all his youth wherever he had +gone had become fashionable the moment he went there; words like the +East End could have had no meaning to him. + +Whoever built that house had enormous wealth and cared nothing for +fashion, perhaps despised it. As I stood gazing at the magnificent +upper windows draped with great curtains, indistinct in the evening, +on which huge shadows flickered my host attracted my attention from +the doorway, and so I went in and met for the second time the ex-King +of Eritivaria. + +In front of us a stairway of rare marble led upwards, he took me +through a side-door and downstairs and we came to a banqueting-hall of +great magnificence. A long table ran up the middle of it, laid for +quite twenty people, and I noticed the peculiarity that instead of +chairs there were thrones for everyone except me, who was the only +guest and for whom there was an ordinary chair. My host explained to +me when we all sat down that everyone who belonged to that club was by +rights a king. + +In fact none was permitted, he told me, to belong to the club until +his claim to a kingdom made out in writing had been examined and +allowed by those whose duty it was. The whim of a populace or the +candidate's own misrule were never considered by the investigators, +nothing counted with them but heredity and lawful descent from kings, +all else was ignored. At that table there were those who had once +reigned themselves, others lawfully claimed descent from kings that +the world had forgotten, the kingdoms claimed by some had even changed +their names. Hatzgurh, the mountain kingdom, is almost regarded as +mythical. + +I have seldom seen greater splendour than that long hall provided +below the level of the street. No doubt by day it was a little sombre, +as all basements are, but at night with its great crystal chandeliers, +and the glitter of heirlooms that had gone into exile, it surpassed +the splendour of palaces that have only one king. They had come to +London suddenly most of those kings, or their fathers before them, or +forefathers; some had come away from their kingdoms by night, in a +light sleigh, flogging the horses, or had galloped clear with morning +over the border, some had trudged roads for days from their capital in +disguise, yet many had had time just as they left to snatch up some +small thing without price in markets, for the sake of old times as +they said, but quite as much, I thought, with an eye to the future. +And there these treasures glittered on that long table in the +banqueting-hall of the basement of that strange club. Merely to see +them was much, but to hear their story that their owners told was to +go back in fancy to epic times on the romantic border of fable and +fact, where the heroes of history fought with the gods of myth. The +famous silver horses of Gilgianza were there climbing their sheer +mountain, which they did by miraculous means before the time of the +Goths. It was not a large piece of silver but its workmanship +outrivalled the skill of the bees. + +A yellow Emperor had brought out of the East a piece of that +incomparable porcelain that had made his dynasty famous though all +their deeds are forgotten, it had the exact shade of the right purple. + +And there was a little golden statuette of a dragon stealing a diamond +from a lady, the dragon had the diamond in his claws, large and of the +first water. There had been a kingdom whose whole constitution and +history were founded on the legend, from which alone its kings had +claimed their right to the scepter, that a dragon stole a diamond from +a lady. When its last king left that country, because his favorite +general used a peculiar formation under the fire of artillery, he +brought with him the little ancient image that no longer proved him a +king outside that singular club. + +There was the pair of amethyst cups of the turbaned King of Foo, the +one that he drank from himself, and the one that he gave to his +enemies, eye could not tell which was which. + +All these things the ex-King of Eritivaria showed me, telling me a +marvelous tale of each; of his own he had brought nothing, except the +mascot that used once to sit on the top of the water tube of his +favorite motor. + +I have not outlined a tenth of the splendour of that table, I had +meant to come again and examine each piece of plate and make notes of +its history; had I known that this was the last time I should wish to +enter that club I should have looked at its treasures more +attentively, but now as the wine went round and the exiles began to +talk I took my eyes from the table and listened to strange tales of +their former state. + +He that has seen better times has usually a poor tale to tell, some +mean and trivial thing has been his undoing, but they that dined in +that basement had mostly fallen like oaks on nights of abnormal +tempest, had fallen mightily and shaken a nation. Those who had not +been kings themselves, but claimed through an exiled ancestor, had +stories to tell of even grander disaster, history seeming to have +mellowed their dynasty's fate as moss grows over an oak a great while +fallen. There were no jealousies there as so often there are among +kings, rivalry must have ceased with the loss of their navies and +armies, and they showed no bitterness against those that had turned +them out, one speaking of the error of his Prime Minister by which he +had lost his throne as "poor old Friedrich's Heaven-sent gift of +tactlessness." + +They gossiped pleasantly of many things, the tittle-tattle we all had +to know when we were learning history, and many a wonderful story I +might have heard, many a side light on mysterious wars had I not made +use of one unfortunate word. That word was "upstairs." + +The ex-King of Eritivaria having pointed out to me those unparalleled +heirlooms to which I have alluded, and many more besides, hospitably +asked me if there was anything else that I would care to see, he meant +the pieces of plate that they had in the cupboards, the curiously +graven swords of other princes, historic jewels, legendary seals, but +I who had had a glimpse of their marvelous staircase, whose balustrade +I believed to be solid gold and wondering why in such a stately house +they chose to dine in the basement, mentioned the word "upstairs." A +profound hush came down on the whole assembly, the hush that might +greet levity in a cathedral. + +"Upstairs!" he gasped. "We cannot go upstairs." + +I perceived that what I had said was an ill-chosen thing. I tried to +excuse myself but knew not how. + +"Of course," I muttered, "members may not take guests upstairs." + +"Members!" he said to me. "We are not the members!" + +There was such reproof in his voice that I said no more, I looked at +him questioningly, perhaps my lips moved, I may have said "What are +you?" A great surprise had come on me at their attitude. + +"We are the waiters," he said. + +That I could not have known, here at last was honest ignorance that I +had no need to be ashamed of, the very opulence of their table denied +it. + +"Then who are the members?" I asked. + +Such a hush fell at that question, such a hush of genuine awe, that +all of a sudden a wild thought entered my head, a thought strange and +fantastic and terrible. I gripped my host by the wrist and hushed my +voice. + +"Are they too exiles?" I asked. + +Twice as he looked in my face he gravely nodded his head. + +I left that club very swiftly indeed, never to see it again, scarcely +pausing to say farewell to those menial kings, and as I left the door +a great window opened far up at the top of the house and a flash of +lightning streamed from it and killed a dog. + + + + + +The Three Infernal Jokes + +This is the story that the desolate man told to me on the lonely +Highland road one autumn evening with winter coming on and the stags +roaring. + +The saddening twilight, the mountain already black, the dreadful +melancholy of the stags' voices, his friendless mournful face, all +seemed to be of some most sorrowful play staged in that valley by an +outcast god, a lonely play of which the hills were part and he the +only actor. + +For long we watched each other drawing out of the solitudes of those +forsaken spaces. Then when we met he spoke. + +"I will tell you a thing that will make you die of laughter. I will +keep it to myself no longer. But first I must tell you how I came by +it." + +I do not give the story in his words with all his woeful interjections +and the misery of his frantic self-reproaches for I would not convey +unnecessarily to my readers that atmosphere of sadness that was about +all he said and that seemed to go with him where-ever he moved. + +It seems that he had been a member of a club, a West-end club he +called it, a respectable but quite inferior affair, probably in the +City: agents belonged to it, fire insurance mostly, but life insurance +and motor-agents too, it was in fact a touts' club. It seems that a +few of them one evening, forgetting for a moment their encyclopedias +and non-stop tyres, were talking loudly over a card-table when the +game had ended about their personal virtues, and a very little man +with waxed moustaches who disliked the taste of wine was boasting +heartily of his temperance. It was then that he who told this mournful +story, drawn on by the boasts of others, leaned forward a little over +the green baize into the light of the two guttering candles and +revealed, no doubt a little shyly, his own extraordinary virtue. One +woman was to him as ugly as another. + +And the silenced boasters rose and went home to bed leaving him all +alone, as he supposed, with his unequalled virtue. And yet he was not +alone, for when the rest had gone there arose a member out of a deep +arm-chair at the dark end of the room and walked across to him, a man +whose occupation he did not know and only now suspects. + +"You have," said the stranger, "a surpassing virtue." + +"I have no possible use for it," my poor friend replied. + +"Then doubtless you would sell it cheap," said the stranger. + +Something in the man's manner or appearance made the desolate teller +of this mournful tale feel his own inferiority, which probably made +him feel acutely shy, so that his mind abased itself as an Oriental +does his body in the presence of a superior, or perhaps he was sleepy, +or merely a little drunk. Whatever it was he only mumbled, "O yes," +instead of contradicting so mad a remark. And the stranger led the way +to the room where the telephone was. + +"I think you will find my firm will give a good price for it," he +said: and without more ado he began with a pair of pincers to cut the +wire of the telephone and the receiver. The old waiter who looked +after the club they had left shuffling round the other room putting +things away for the night. + +"Whatever are you doing of?" said my friend. + +"This way," said the stranger. Along a passage they went and away to +the back of the club and there the stranger leaned out of a window and +fastened the severed wires to the lightning conductor. My friend has +no doubt of that, a broad ribbon of copper, half an inch wide, perhaps +wider, running down from the roof to the earth. + +"Hell," said the stranger with his mouth to the telephone; then +silence for a while with his ear to the receiver, leaning out of the +window. And then my friend heard his poor virtue being several times +repeated, and then words like Yes and No. + +"They offer you three jokes," said the stranger, "which shall make all +who hear them simply die of laughter." + +I think my friend was reluctant then to have anything more to do with +it, he wanted to go home; he said he didn't want jokes. + +"They think very highly of your virtue," I said the stranger. And at +that, odd as it seems, my friend wavered, for logically if they +thought highly of the goods they should have paid a higher price. + +"O all right," he said. The extraordinary document that the agent drew +from his pocket ran something like this: + +"I . . . . . in consideration of three new jokes received from Mr. +Montagu-Montague, hereinafter to be called the agent, and warranted to +be as by him stated and described, do assign to him, yield, abrogate +and give up all recognitions, emoluments, perquisites or rewards due +to me Here or Elsewhere on account of the following virtue, to wit and +that is to say . . . . . that all women are to me equally ugly." The +last eight words being filled in in ink by Mr. Montagu-Montague. + +My poor friend duly signed it. "These are the jokes," said the agent. +They were boldly written on three slips of paper. "They don't seem +very funny," said the other when he had read them. "You are immune," +said Mr. Montagu-Montague, "but anyone else who hears them will simply +die of laughter: that we guarantee." + +An American firm had bought at the price of waste paper a hundred +thousand copies of The Dictionary of Electricity written when +electricity was new,--and it had turned out that even at the time its +author had not rightly grasped his subject,--the firm had paid +£10,000 to a respectable English paper (no other in fact than +the Briton) for the use of its name, and to obtain orders for The +Briton Dictionary of Electricity was the occupation of my unfortunate +friend. He seems to have had a way with him. Apparently he knew by a +glance at a man, or a look round at his garden, whether to recommend +the book as "an absolutely up-to-date achievement, the finest thing of +its kind in the world of modern science" or as "at once quaint and +imperfect, a thing to buy and to keep as a tribute to those dear old +times that are gone." So he went on with this quaint though usual +business, putting aside the memory of that night as an occasion on +which he had "somewhat exceeded" as they say in circles where a spade +is called neither a spade nor an agricultural implement but is never +mentioned at all, being altogether too vulgar. And then one night he +put on his suit of dress clothes and found the three jokes in the +pocket. That was perhaps a shock. He seems to have thought it over +carefully then, and the end of it was he gave a dinner at the club to +twenty of the members. The dinner would do no harm he thought--might +even help the business, and if the joke came off he would be a witty +fellow, and two jokes still up his sleeve. + +Whom he invited or how the dinner went I do not know for he began to +speak rapidly and came straight to the point, as a stick that nears a +cataract suddenly goes faster and faster. The dinner was duly served, +the port went round, the twenty men were smoking, two waiters +loitered, when he after carefully reading the best of the jokes told +it down the table. They laughed. One man accidentally inhaled his +cigar smoke and spluttered, the two waiters overheard and tittered +behind their hands, one man, a bit of a raconteur himself, quite +clearly wished not to laugh, but his veins swelled dangerously in +trying to keep it back, and in the end he laughed too. The joke had +succeeded; my friend smiled at the thought; he wished to say little +deprecating things to the man on his right; but the laughter did not +stop and the waiters would not be silent. He waited, and waited +wondering; the laughter went roaring on, distinctly louder now, and +the waiters as loud as any. It had gone on for three or four minutes +when this frightful thought leaped up all at once in his mind: _it was +forced laughter!_ However could anything have induced him to tell so +foolish a joke? He saw its absurdity as in revelation; and the more he +thought of it as these people laughed at him, even the waiters too, +the more he felt that he could never lift up his head with his brother +touts again. And still the laughter went roaring and choking on. He +was very angry. There was not much use in having a friend, he thought, +if one silly joke could not be overlooked; he had fed them too. And +then he felt that he had no friends at all, and his anger faded away, +and a great unhappiness came down on him, and he got quietly up and +slunk from the room and slipped away from the club. Poor man, he +scarcely had the heart next morning even to glance at the papers, but +you did not need to glance at them, big type was bandied about that +day as though it were common type, the words of the headlines stared +at you; and the headlines said:--Twenty-Two Dead Men at a Club. + +Yes, he saw it then: the laughter had not stopped, some had probably +burst blood vessels, some must have choked, some succumbed to nausea, +heart-failure must have mercifully taken some, and they were his +friends after all, and none had escaped, not I even the waiters. It +was that infernal joke. + +He thought out swiftly, and remembers clear as a nightmare, the drive +to Victoria Station, the boat-train to Dover and going disguised to +the boat: and on the boat pleasantly smiling, almost obsequious, two +constables that wished to speak for a moment with Mr. Watkyn-Jones. +That was his name. + +In a third-class carriage with handcuffs on his wrists, with forced +conversation when any, he returned between his captors to Victoria to +be tried for murder at the High Court of Bow. + +At the trial he was defended by a young barrister of considerable +ability who had gone into the Cabinet in order to enhance his forensic +reputation. And he was ably defended. It is no exaggeration to say +that the speech for the defence showed it to be usual, even natural +and right, to give a dinner to twenty men and to slip away without +ever saying a word, leaving all, with the waiters, dead. That was the +impression left in the minds of the jury. And Mr. Watkyn-Jones felt +himself practically free, with all the advantages of his awful +experience, and his two jokes intact. But lawyers are still +experimenting with the new act which allows a prisoner to give +evidence. They do not like to make no use of it for fear they may be +thought not to know of the act, and a lawyer who is not in touch with +the very latest laws is soon regarded as not being up to date and he +may drop as much as £50,000 a year in fees. And therefore though +it always hangs their clients they hardly like to neglect it. + +Mr. Watkyn-Jones was put in the witness box. There he told the simple +truth, and a very poor affair it seemed after the impassioned and +beautiful things that were uttered by the counsel for the defence. Men +and women had wept when they heard that. They did not weep when they +heard Watkyn-Jones. Some tittered. It no longer seemed a right and +natural thing to leave one's guests all dead and to fly the country. +Where was Justice, they asked, if anyone could do that? And when his +story was told the judge rather happily asked if he could make him die +of laughter too. And what was the joke? For in so grave a place as a +Court of Justice no fatal effects need be feared. And hesitatingly the +prisoner pulled from his pocket the three slips of paper: and +perceived for the first time that the one on which the first and best +joke had been written had become quite blank. Yet he could remember +it, and only too clearly. And he told it from memory to the Court. + +"An Irishman once on being asked by his master to buy a morning paper +said in his usual witty way, 'Arrah and begorrah and I will be after +wishing you the top of the morning.'" + +No joke sounds quite so good the second time it is told, it seems to +lose something of its essence, but Watkyn-Jones was not prepared for +the awful stillness with which this one was received; nobody smiled; +and it had killed twenty-two men. The joke was bad, devilish bad; +counsel for the defence was frowning, and an usher was looking in a +little bag for something the judge wanted. And at this moment, as +though from far away, without his wishing it, there entered the +prisoner's head, and shone there and would not go, this old bad +proverb: "As well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb." The jury seemed +to be just about to retire. "I have another joke," said Watkyn-Jones, +and then and there he read from the second slip of paper. He watched +the paper curiously to see if it would go blank, occupying his mind +with so slight a thing as men in dire distress very often do, and the +words were almost immediately expunged, swept swiftly as if by a hand, +and he saw the paper before him as blank as the first. And they were +laughing this time, judge, jury, counsel for the prosecution, audience +and all, and the grim men that watched him upon either side. There was +no mistake about this joke. + +He did not stay to see the end, and walked out with his eyes fixed on +the ground, unable to bear a glance to the right or left. And since +then he has wandered, avoiding ports and roaming lonely places. Two +years have known him on the Highland roads, often hungry, always +friendless, always changing his district, wandering lonely on with his +deadly joke. + +Sometimes for a moment he will enter inns, driven by cold and hunger, +and hear men in the evening telling jokes and even challenging him; +but he sits desolate and silent, lest his only weapon should escape +from him and his last joke spread mourning in a hundred cots. His +beard has grown and turned grey and is mixed with moss and weeds, so +that no one, I think, not even the police, would recognise him now for +that dapper tout that sold The Briton Dictionary of Electricity in +such a different land. + +He paused, his story told, and then his lip quivered as though he +would say more, and I believe he intended then and there to yield up +his deadly joke on that Highland road and to go forth then with his +three blank slips of paper, perhaps to a felon's cell, with one more +murder added to his crimes, but harmless at last to man. I therefore +hurried on, and only heard him mumbling sadly behind me, standing +bowed and broken, all alone in the twilight, perhaps telling over and +over even then the last infernal joke. + + + THE END + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Tales of Wonder, by +Baron Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett Dunsany + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13821 *** diff --git a/13821-h/13821-h.htm b/13821-h/13821-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4b82481 --- /dev/null +++ b/13821-h/13821-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,4946 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<HTML> +<HEAD> + +<META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=UTF-8"> + +<TITLE> +The Project Gutenberg E-text of Tales of Wonder, by Lord Dunsany +</TITLE> + +<STYLE TYPE="text/css"> +BODY { color: Black; + background: White; + margin-right: 10%; + margin-left: 10%; + font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; + text-align: justify } + +P {text-indent: 4% } + +P.noindent {text-indent: 0% } + +P.poem {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10%;} + +P.letter {text-indent: 0%; + margin-left: 10% ; + margin-right: 10% } + +P.footnote {font-size: 80%; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.transnote {text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.intro {font-size: 90% ; + text-indent: -5% ; + margin-left: 5% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +P.finis { font-size: larger ; + text-align: center ; + text-indent: 0% ; + margin-left: 0% ; + margin-right: 0% } + +</STYLE> + +</HEAD> + +<BODY> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13821 ***</div> + +<BR><BR> + +<H1 ALIGN="center"> +TALES OF WONDER +</H1> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +by Lord Dunsany +</H3> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<P CLASS="noindent"> + <A HREF="#london">A Tale of London</A><BR> + <A HREF="#thirteen">Thirteen at Table</A><BR> + <A HREF="#moor">The City on Mallington Moor</A><BR> + <A HREF="#milkman">Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn</A><BR> + <A HREF="#woman">The Bad Old Woman in Black</A><BR> + <A HREF="#bird">The Bird of the Difficult Eye</A><BR> + <A HREF="#porter">The Long Porter's Tale</A><BR> + <A HREF="#loma">The Loot of Loma</A><BR> + <A HREF="#secret">The Secret of the Sea</A><BR> + <A HREF="#black">How Ali Came to the Black Country</A><BR> + <A HREF="#bureau">The Bureau d'Echange de Maux</A><BR> + <A HREF="#story">A Story of Land and Sea</A><BR> +<BR> + <A HREF="#guarantee">Guarantee To The Reader</A><BR> +<BR> + <A HREF="#equator">A Tale of the Equator</A><BR> + <A HREF="#escape">A Narrow Escape</A><BR> + <A HREF="#tower">The Watch-tower</A><BR> + <A HREF="#plash">How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire</A><BR> + <A HREF="#gambit">The Three Sailors' Gambit</A><BR> + <A HREF="#exiles">The Exiles Club</A><BR> + <A HREF="#jokes">The Three Infernal Jokes</A><BR> +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +Preface +</H3> + +<P CLASS="noindent"> + Ebrington Barracks<BR> +<BR> + Aug. 16th 1916.<BR> +</P> + +<P> +I do not know where I may be when this preface is read. As I write it +in August 1916, I am at Ebrington Barracks, Londonderry, recovering +from a slight wound. But it does not greatly matter where I am; my +dreams are here before you amongst the following pages; and writing in +a day when life is cheap, dreams seem to me all the dearer, the only +things that survive. +</P> + +<P> +Just now the civilization of Europe seems almost to have ceased, and +nothing seems to grow in her torn fields but death, yet this is only +for a while and dreams will come back again and bloom as of old, all +the more radiantly for this terrible ploughing, as the flowers will +bloom again where the trenches are and the primroses shelter in +shell-holes for many seasons, when weeping Liberty has come home to +Flanders. +</P> + +<P> +To some of you in America this may seem an unnecessary and wasteful +quarrel, as other people's quarrels often are; but it comes to this +that though we are all killed there will be songs again, but if we +were to submit and so survive there could be neither songs nor dreams, +nor any joyous free things any more. +</P> + +<P> +And do not regret the lives that are wasted amongst us, or the work +that the dead would have done, for war is no accident that man's care +could have averted, but is as natural, though not as regular, as the +tides; as well regret the things that the tide has washed away, which +destroys and cleanses and crumbles, and spares the minutest shells. +</P> + +<P> +And now I will write nothing further about our war, but offer you +these books of dreams from Europe as one throws things of value, if +only to oneself, at the last moment out of a burning house. +</P> + +<P CLASS="noindent"> + DUNSANY.<BR> +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="london"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A Tale of London +</H3> + +<P> +"Come," said the Sultan to his hasheesh-eater in the very furthest +lands that know Bagdad, "dream to me now of London." +</P> + +<P> +And the hasheesh-eater made a low obeisance and seated himself +cross-legged upon a purple cushion broidered with golden poppies, on +the floor, beside an ivory bowl where the hasheesh was, and having +eaten liberally of the hasheesh blinked seven times and spoke thus: +</P> + +<P> +"O Friend of God, know then that London is the desiderate town even of +all Earth's cities. Its houses are of ebony and cedar which they roof +with thin copper plates that the hand of Time turns green. They have +golden balconies in which amethysts are where they sit and watch the +sunset. Musicians in the gloaming steal softly along the ways; unheard +their feet fall on the white sea-sand with which those ways are +strewn, and in the darkness suddenly they play on dulcimers and +instruments with strings. Then are there murmurs in the balconies +praising their skill, then are there bracelets cast down to them for +reward and golden necklaces and even pearls. +</P> + +<P> +"Indeed but the city is fair; there is by the sandy ways a paving all +alabaster, and the lanterns along it are of chrysoprase, all night +long they shine green, but of amethyst are the lanterns of the +balconies. +</P> + +<P> +"As the musicians go along the ways dancers gather about them and +dance upon the alabaster pavings, for joy and not for hire. Sometimes +a window opens far up in an ebony palace and a wreath is cast down to +a dancer or orchids showered upon them. +</P> + +<P> +"Indeed of many cities have I dreamt but of none fairer, through many +marble metropolitan gates hasheesh has led me, but London is its +secret, the last gate of all; the ivory bowl has nothing more to show. +And indeed even now the imps that crawl behind me and that will not +let me be are plucking me by the elbow and bidding my spirit return, +for well they know that I have seen too much. 'No, not London,' they +say; and therefore I will speak of some other city, a city of some +less mysterious land, and anger not the imps with forbidden things. I +will speak of Persepolis or famous Thebes." +</P> + +<P> +A shade of annoyance crossed the Sultan's face, a look of thunder that +you had scarcely seen, but in those lands they watched his visage +well, and though his spirit was wandering far away and his eyes were +bleared with hasheesh yet that storyteller there and then perceived +the look that was death, and sent his spirit back at once to London as +a man runs into his house when the thunder comes. +</P> + +<P> +"And therefore," he continued, "in the desiderate city, in London, all +their camels are pure white. Remarkable is the swiftness of their +horses, that draw their chariots that are of ivory along those sandy +ways and that are of surpassing lightness, they have little bells of +silver upon their horses' heads. O Friend of God, if you perceived +their merchants! The glory of their dresses in the noonday! They are +no less gorgeous than those butterflies that float about their +streets. They have overcloaks of green and vestments of azure, huge +purple flowers blaze on their overcloaks, the work of cunning needles, +the centres of the flowers are of gold and the petals of purple. All +their hats are black—" ("No, no," said the Sultan)—"but irises are +set about the brims, and green plumes float above the crowns of them. +</P> + +<P> +"They have a river that is named the Thames, on it their ships go up +with violet sails bringing incense for the braziers that perfume the +streets, new songs exchanged for gold with alien tribes, raw silver +for the statues of their heroes, gold to make balconies where the +women sit, great sapphires to reward their poets with, the secrets of +old cities and strange lands, the earning of the dwellers in far +isles, emeralds, diamonds, and the hoards of the sea. And whenever a +ship comes into port and furls its violet sails and the news spreads +through London that she has come, then all the merchants go down to +the river to barter, and all day long the chariots whirl through the +streets, and the sound of their going is a mighty roar all day until +evening, their roar is even like—" +</P> + +<P> +"Not so," said the Sultan. +</P> + +<P> +"Truth is not hidden from the Friend of God," replied the +hasheesh-eater, "I have erred being drunken with the hasheesh, for in +the desiderate city, even in London, so thick upon the ways is the +white sea-sand with which the city glimmers that no sound comes from +the path of the charioteers, but they go softly like a light +sea-wind." ("It is well," said the Sultan.) "They go softly down to +the port where the vessels are, and the merchandise in from the sea, +amongst the wonders that the sailors show, on land by the high ships, +and softly they go though swiftly at evening back to their homes. +</P> + +<P> +"O would that the Munificent, the Illustrious, the Friend of God, had +even seen these things, had seen the jewellers with their empty +baskets, bargaining there by the ships, when the barrels of emeralds +came up from the hold. Or would that he had seen the fountains there +in silver basins in the midst of the ways. I have seen small spires +upon their ebony houses and the spires were all of gold, birds +strutted there upon the copper roofs from golden spire to spire that +have no equal for splendour in all the woods of the world. And over +London the desiderate city the sky is so deep a blue that by this +alone the traveller may know where he has come, and may end his +fortunate journey. Nor yet for any colour of the sky is there too +great heat in London, for along its ways a wind blows always from the +South gently and cools the city. +</P> + +<P> +"Such, O Friend of God, is indeed the city of London, lying very far +off on the yonder side of Bagdad, without a peer for beauty or +excellence of its ways among the towns of the earth or cities of song; +and even so, as I have told, its fortunate citizens dwell, with their +hearts ever devising beautiful things and from the beauty of their own +fair work that is more abundant around them every year, receiving new +inspirations to work things more beautiful yet." +</P> + +<P> +"And is their government good?" the Sultan said. +</P> + +<P> +"It is most good," said the hasheesh-eater, and fell backwards upon +the floor. +</P> + +<P> +He lay thus and was silent. And when the Sultan perceived he would +speak no more that night he smiled and lightly applauded. +</P> + +<P> +And there was envy in that palace, in lands beyond Bagdad, of all that +dwell in London. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="thirteen"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +Thirteen at Table +</H3> + +<P> +In front of a spacious fireplace of the old kind, when the logs were +well alight, and men with pipes and glasses were gathered before it in +great easeful chairs, and the wild weather outside and the comfort +that was within, and the season of the year—for it was Christmas—and +the hour of the night, all called for the weird or uncanny, then out +spoke the ex-master of foxhounds and told this tale. +</P> + +<P> +I once had an odd experience too. It was when I had the Bromley and +Sydenham, the year I gave them up—as a matter of fact it was the last +day of the season. It was no use going on because there were no foxes +left in the county, and London was sweeping down on us. You could see +it from the kennels all along the skyline like a terrible army in +grey, and masses of villas every year came skirmishing down our +valleys. Our coverts were mostly on the hills, and as the town came +down upon the valleys the foxes used to leave them and go right away +out of the county and they never returned. I think they went by night +and moved great distances. Well it was early April and we had drawn +blank all day, and at the last draw of all, the very last of the +season, we found a fox. He left the covert with his back to London and +its railways and villas and wire and slipped away towards the chalk +country and open Kent. I felt as I once felt as a child on one +summer's day when I found a door in a garden where I played left +luckily ajar, and I pushed it open and the wide lands were before me +and waving fields of corn. +</P> + +<P> +We settled down into a steady gallop and the fields began to drift by +under us, and a great wind arose full of fresh breath. We left the +clay lands where the bracken grows and came to a valley at the edge of +the chalk. As we went down into it we saw the fox go up the other side +like a shadow that crosses the evening, and glide into a wood that +stood on the top. We saw a flash of primroses in the wood and we were +out the other side, hounds hunting perfectly and the fox still going +absolutely straight. It began to dawn on me then that we were in for a +great hunt, I took a deep breath when I thought of it; the taste of +the air of that perfect Spring afternoon as it came to one galloping, +and the thought of a great run, were together like some old rare wine. +Our faces now were to another valley, large fields led down to it, +with easy hedges, at the bottom of it a bright blue stream went +singing and a rambling village smoked, the sunlight on the opposite +slopes danced like a fairy; and all along the top old woods were +frowning, but they dreamed of Spring. The "field" had fallen of and +were far behind and my only human companion was James, my old first +whip, who had a hound's instinct, and a personal animosity against a +fox that even embittered his speech. +</P> + +<P> +Across the valley the fox went as straight as a railway line, and +again we went without a check straight through the woods at the top. I +remember hearing men sing or shout as they walked home from work, and +sometimes children whistled; the sounds came up from the village to +the woods at the top of the valley. After that we saw no more +villages, but valley after valley arose and fell before us as though +we were voyaging some strange and stormy sea, and all the way before +us the fox went dead up-wind like the fabulous Flying Dutchman. There +was no one in sight now but my first whip and me, we had both of us +got on to our second horses as we drew the last covert. +</P> + +<P> +Two or three times we checked in those great lonely valleys beyond the +village, but I began to have inspirations, I felt a strange certainty +within me that this fox was going on straight up-wind till he died or +until night came and we could hunt no longer, so I reversed ordinary +methods and only cast straight ahead and always we picked up the scent +again at once. I believe that this fox was the last one left in the +villa-haunted lands and that he was prepared to leave them for remote +uplands far from men, that if we had come the following day he would +not have been there, and that we just happened to hit off his journey. +</P> + +<P> +Evening began to descend upon the valleys, still the hounds drifted +on, like the lazy but unresting shadows of clouds upon a summer's day, +we heard a shepherd calling to his dog, we saw two maidens move +towards a hidden farm, one of them singing softly; no other sounds, +but ours, disturbed the leisure and the loneliness of haunts that +seemed not yet to have known the inventions of steam and gun-powder +(even as China, they say, in some of her further mountains does not +yet know that she has fought Japan). +</P> + +<P> +And now the day and our horses were wearing out, but that resolute fox +held on. I began to work out the run and to wonder where we were. The +last landmark I had ever seen before must have been over five miles +back and from there to the start was at least ten miles more. If only +we could kill! Then the sun set. I wondered what chance we had of +killing our fox. I looked at James' face as he rode beside me. He did +not seem to have lost any confidence yet his horse was as tired as +mine. It was a good clear twilight and the scent was as strong as +ever, and the fences were easy enough, but those valleys were terribly +trying and they still rolled on and on. It looked as if the light +would outlast all possible endurance both of the fox and the horses, +if the scent held good and he did not go to ground, otherwise night +would end it. For long we had seen no houses and no roads, only chalk +slopes with the twilight on them, and here and there some sheep, and +scattered copses darkening in the evening. At some moment I seemed to +realise all at once that the light was spent and that darkness was +hovering, I looked at James, he was solemnly shaking his head. +Suddenly in a little wooded valley we saw climb over the oaks the +red-brown gables of a queer old house, at that instant I saw the fox +scarcely heading by fifty yards. We blundered through a wood into full +sight of the house, but no avenue led up to it or even a path nor were +there any signs of wheel-marks anywhere. Already lights shone here and +there in windows. We were in a park, and a fine park, but unkempt +beyond credibility; brambles grew everywhere. It was too dark to see +the fox any more but we knew he was dead beat, the hounds were just +before us,—and a four-foot railing of oak. I shouldn't have tried it +on a fresh horse the beginning of a run, and here was a horse near his +last gasp. But what a run! an event standing out in a lifetime, and +the hounds close up on their fox, slipping into the darkness as I +hesitated. I decided to try it. My horse rose about eight inches and +took it fair with his breast, and the oak log flew into handfuls of +wet decay—it rotten with years. And then we were on a lawn and at the +far end of it the hounds were tumbling over their fox. Fox, hounds and +light were all done together at the of a twenty-mile point. We made +some noise then, but nobody came out of the queer old house. +</P> + +<P> +I felt pretty stiff as I walked round to the hall door with the mask +and the brush while James went with the hounds and the two horses to +look for the stables. I rang a bell marvellously encrusted with rust, +and after a long while the door opened a little way revealing a hall +with much old armour in it and the shabbiest butler that I have ever +known. +</P> + +<P> +I asked him who lived there. Sir Richard Arlen. I explained that my +horse could go no further that night and that I wished to ask Sir +Richard Arlen for a bed for the night. +</P> + +<P> +"O, no one ever comes here, sir," said the butler. +</P> + +<P> +I pointed out that I had come. +</P> + +<P> +"I don't think it would be possible, sir," he said. +</P> + +<P> +This annoyed me and I asked to see Sir Richard, and insisted until he +came. Then I apologised and explained the situation. He looked only +fifty, but a 'Varsity oar on the wall with the date of the early +seventies, made him older than that; his face had something of the shy +look of the hermit; he regretted that he had not room to put me up. I +was sure that this was untrue, also I had to be put up there, there +was nowhere else within miles, so I almost insisted. Then to my +astonishment he turned to the butler and they talked it over in an +undertone. At last they seemed to think that they could manage it, +though clearly with reluctance. It was by now seven o' clock and Sir +Richard told me he dined at half past seven. There was no question of +clothes for me other than those I stood in, as my host was shorter and +broader. He showed me presently to the drawing-room and there he +reappeared before half past seven in evening dress and a white +waistcoat. The drawing-room was large and contained old furniture but +it was rather worn than venerable, an Aubusson carpet flapped about +the floor, the wind seemed momently to enter the room, and old +draughts haunted corners; the stealthy feet of rats that were never at +rest indicated the extent of the ruin that time had wrought in the +wainscot; somewhere far off a shutter flapped to and fro, the +guttering candles were insufficient to light so large a room. The +gloom that these things suggested was quite in keeping with Sir +Richard's first remark to me after he entered the room: "I must tell +you, sir, that I have led a wicked life. O, a very wicked life." +</P> + +<P> +Such confidences from a man much older than oneself after one has +known him for half an hour are so rare that any possible answer merely +does not suggest itself. I said rather slowly, "O, really," and +chiefly to forestall another such remark I said "What a charming house +you have." +</P> + +<P> +"Yes," he said, "I have not left it for nearly forty years. Since I +left the 'Varsity. One is young there, you know, and one has +opportunities; but I make no excuses, no excuses." And the door +slipping its rusty latch, came drifting on the draught into the room, +and the long carpet flapped and the hangings upon the walls, then the +draught fell rustling away and the door slammed to again. +</P> + +<P> +"Ah, Marianne," he said, "we have a guest to-night. Mr. Linton. This +is Marianne Gib." And everything became clear to me. "Mad," I said to +myself, for no one had entered the room. +</P> + +<P> +The rats ran up the length of the room behind the wainscot +ceaselessly, and the wind unlatched the door again and the folds of +the carpet fluttered up to our feet and stopped there, for our weight +held it down. +</P> + +<P> +"Let me introduce Mr. Linton," said my host—"Lady Mary Errinjer." +</P> + +<P> +The door slammed back again. I bowed politely. Even had I been invited +I should have humoured him, but it was the very least that an +uninvited guest could do. +</P> + +<P> +This kind of thing happened eleven times, the rustling, and the +fluttering of the carpet and the footsteps of the rats, and the +restless door, and then the sad voice of my host introducing me to +phantoms. Then for some while we waited while I struggled with the +situation; conversation flowed slowly. And again the draught came +trailing up the room, while the flaring candles filled it with +hurrying shadows. "Ah, late again, Cicely," said my host in his soft, +mournful way. "Always late, Cicely." Then I went down to dinner with +that man and his mind and the twelve phantoms that haunted it. I found +a long table with fine old silver on it and places laid for fourteen. +The butler was now in evening dress, there were fewer draughts in the +dining-room, the scene was less gloomy there. "Will you sit next to +Rosalind at the other end," Richard said to me. "She always takes the +head of the table, I wronged her most of all." I said, "I shall be +delighted." +</P> + +<P> +I looked at the butler closely, but never did I see by any expression +of his face or by anything that he did any suggestion that he waited +upon less than fourteen people in the complete possession of all their +faculties. Perhaps a dish appeared to be refused more often than taken +but every glass was equally filled with champagne. At first I found +little to say, but when Sir Richard speaking from the far end of the +table said, "You are tired, Mr. Linton," I was reminded that I owed +something to a host upon whom I had forced myself. It was excellent +champagne and with the help of a second glass I made the effort to +begin a conversation with a Miss Helen Errold for whom the place upon +one side of me was laid. It came more easy to me very soon, I +frequently paused in my monologue, like Mark Anthony, for a reply, and +sometimes I turned and spoke to Miss Rosalind Smith. Sir Richard at +the other end talked sorrowfully on, he spoke as a condemned man might +speak to his judge, and yet somewhat as a judge might speak to one +that he once condemned wrongly. My own mind began to turn to mournful +things. I drank another glass of champagne, but I was still thirsty. I +felt as if all the moisture in my body had been blown away over the +downs of Kent by the wind up which we had galloped. Still I was not +talking enough; my host was looking at me. I made another effort, +after all I had something to talk about, a twenty-mile point is not +often seen in a lifetime, especially south of the Thames. I began to +describe the run to Rosalind Smith. I could see then that my host was +pleased, the sad look in his face gave a kind of a flicker, like mist +upon the mountains on a miserable day when a faint puff comes from the +sea and the mist would lift if it could. And the butler refilled my +glass very attentively. I asked her first if she hunted, and paused +and began my story. I told her where we had found the fox and how fast +and straight he had gone, and how I had got through the village by +keeping to the road, while the little gardens and wire, and then the +river, had stopped the rest of the field. I told her the kind of +country that we crossed and how splendid it looked in the Spring, and +how mysterious the valleys were as soon as the twilight came, and what +a glorious horse I had and how wonderfully he went. I was so fearfully +thirsty after the great hunt that I had to stop for a moment now and +then, but I went on with my description of that famous run, for I had +warmed to the subject, and after all there was nobody to tell of it +but me except my old whipper-in, and "the old fellow's probably drunk +by now," I thought. I described to her minutely the exact spot in the +run at which it had come to me clearly that this was going to be the +greatest hunt in the whole history of Kent. Sometimes I forgot +incidents that had happened as one well may in a run of twenty miles, +and then I had to fill in the gaps by inventing. I was pleased to be +able to make the party go off well by means of my conversation, and +besides that the lady to whom I was speaking was extremely pretty: I +do not mean in a flesh and blood kind of way but there were little +shadowy lines about the chair beside me that hinted at an unusually +graceful figure when Miss Rosalind Smith was alive; and I began to +perceive that what I first mistook for the smoke of guttering candles +and a table-cloth waving in the draught was in reality an extremely +animated company who listened, and not without interest, to my story +of by far the greatest hunt that the world had ever known: indeed I +told them that I would confidently go further and predict that never +in the history of the world would there be such a run again. Only my +throat was terribly dry. And then as it seemed they wanted to hear +more about my horse. I had forgotten that I had come there on a horse, +but when they reminded me it all came back; they looked so charming +leaning over the table intent upon what I said, that I told them +everything they wanted to know. Everything was going so pleasantly if +only Sir Richard would cheer up. I heard his mournful voice every now +and then—these were very pleasant people if only he would take them +the right way. I could understand that he regretted his past, but the +early seventies seemed centuries away and I felt sure that he +misunderstood these ladies, they were not revengeful as he seemed to +suppose. I wanted to show him how cheerful they really were, and so I +made a joke and they an laughed at it, and then I chaffed them a bit, +especially Rosalind, and nobody resented it in the very least. And +still Sir Richard sat there with that unhappy look, like one that has +ended weeping because it is vain and has not the consolation even of +tears. +</P> + +<P> +We had been a long time there and many of the candles had burned out, +but there was light enough. I was glad to have an audience for my +exploit, and being happy myself I was determined Sir Richard should +be. I made more jokes and they still laughed good-naturedly; some of +the jokes were a little broad perhaps but no harm was meant. And +then—I do not wish to excuse myself—but I had had a harder day than +I ever had had before and without knowing it I must have been +completely exhausted; in this state the champagne had found me, and +what would have been harmless at any other time must somehow have got +the better of me when quite tired out—anyhow I went too far, I made +some joke—I cannot in the least remember what—that suddenly seemed +to offend them. I felt all at once a commotion in the air, I looked up +and saw that they had all arisen from the table and were sweeping +towards the door: I had not time to open it but it blew open on a +wind, I could scarcely see what Sir Richard was doing because only two +candles were left, I think the rest blew out when the ladies suddenly +rose. I sprang up to apologise, to assure them—and then fatigue +overcame me as it had overcome my horse at the last fence, I clutched +at the table but the cloth came away and then I fell. The fall, and +the darkness on the floor and the pent up fatigue of the day overcame +me all three together. +</P> + +<P> +The sun shone over glittering fields and in at a bedroom window and +thousands of birds were chanting to the Spring, and there I was in an +old four-poster bed in a quaint old panelled bedroom, fully dressed +and wearing long muddy boots; someone had taken my spurs and that was +all. For a moment I failed to realise and then it all came back, my +enormity and the pressing need of an abject apology to Sir Richard. I +pulled an embroidered bell rope until the butler came. He came in +perfectly cheerful and indescribably shabby. I asked him if Sir +Richard was up, and he said he had just gone down, and told me to my +amazement that it was twelve o'clock. I asked to be shown in to Sir +Richard at once. He was in his smoking-room. "Good morning," he said +cheerfully the moment I went in. I went directly to the matter in +hand. "I fear that I insulted some ladies in your house—" I began. +</P> + +<P> +"You did indeed," he said, "You did indeed." And then he burst into +tears and took me by the hand. "How can I ever thank you?" he said to +me then. "We have been thirteen at table for thirty years and I never +dared to insult them because I had wronged them all, and now you have +done it and I know they will never dine here again." And for a long +time he still held my hand, and then he gave it a grip and a kind of a +shake which I took to mean "Goodbye" and I drew my hand away then and +left the house. And I found James in the stables with the hounds and +asked him how he had fared, and James, who is a man of very few words, +said he could not rightly remember, and I got my spurs from the butler +and climbed on to my horse and slowly we rode away from that queer old +house, and slowly we wended home, for the hounds were footsore but +happy and the horses were tired still. And when we recalled that the +hunting season was ended we turned our faces to Spring and thought of +the new things that try to replace the old. And that very year I +heard, and have often heard since, of dances and happier dinners at +Sir Richard Arlen's house. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="moor"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The City on Mallington Moor +</H3> + +<P> +Besides the old shepherd at Lingwold whose habits render him +unreliable I am probably the only person that has ever seen the city +on Mallington Moor. +</P> + +<P> +I had decided one year to do no London season; partly because of the +ugliness of the things in the shops, partly because of the unresisted +invasions of German bands, partly perhaps because some pet parrots in +the oblong where I lived had learned to imitate cab-whistles; but +chiefly because of late there had seized me in London a quite +unreasonable longing for large woods and waste spaces, while the very +thought of little valleys underneath copses full of bracken and +foxgloves was a torment to me and every summer in London the longing +grew worse till the thing was becoming intolerable. So I took a stick +and a knapsack and began walking northwards, starting at Tetherington +and sleeping at inns, where one could get real salt, and the waiter +spoke English and where one had a name instead of a number; and though +the tablecloth might be dirty the windows opened so that the air was +clean, where one had the excellent company of farmers and men of the +wold, who could not be thoroughly vulgar, because they had not the +money to be so even if they had wished it. At first the novelty was +delightful, and then one day in a queer old inn up Uthering way, +beyond Lingwold, I heard for the first time the rumour of the city +said to be on Mallington Moor. They spoke of it quite casually over +their glasses of beer, two farmers at the inn. "They say the queer +folk be at Mallington with their city," one farmer said. "Travelling +they seem to be," said the other. And more came in then and the rumour +spread. And then, such are the contradictions of our little likes and +dislikes and all the whims that drive us, that I, who had come so far +to avoid cities, had a great longing all of a sudden for throngs again +and the great hives of Man, and then and there determined on that +bright Sunday morning to come to Mallington and there search for the +city that rumour spoke of so strangely. +</P> + +<P> +Mallington Moor, from all that they said of it, was hardly a likely +place to find a thing by searching. It was a huge high moor, very +bleak and desolate and altogether trackless. It seemed a lonely place +from what they said. The Normans when they came had called it Mal Lieu +and afterwards Mallintown and so it changed to Mallington. Though what +a town can ever have had to do with a place so utterly desolate I do +not know. And before that some say that the Saxons called it Baplas, +which I believe to be a corruption of Bad Place. +</P> + +<P> +And beyond the mere rumour of a beautiful city all of white marble and +with a foreign look up on Mallington Moor, beyond this I could not +get. None of them had seen it himself, "only heard of it like," and my +questions, rather than stimulating conversation, would always stop it +abruptly. I was no more fortunate on the road to Mallington until the +Tuesday, when I was quite near it; I had been walking two days from +the inn where I had heard the rumour and could see the great hill +steep as a headland on which Mallington lay, standing up on the +skyline: the hill was covered with grass, where anything grew at all, +but Mallington Moor is all heather; it is just marked Moor on the map; +nobody goes there and they do not trouble to name it. It was there +where the gaunt hill first came into sight, by the roadside as I +enquired for the marble city of some labourers by the way, that I was +directed, partly I think in derision, to the old shepherd of Lingwold. +It appeared that he, following sometimes sheep that had strayed, and +wandering far from Lingwold, came sometimes up to the edge of +Mallington Moor, and that he would come back from these excursions and +shout through the villages, raving of a city of white marble and +gold-tipped minarets. And hearing me asking questions of this city +they had laughed and directed me to the shepherd of Lingwold. One +well-meant warning they gave me as I went—the old man was not +reliable. +</P> + +<P> +And late that evening I saw the thatches of Lingwold sheltering under +the edge of that huge hill that Atlas-like held up those miles of moor +to the great winds and heaven. +</P> + +<P> +They knew less of the city in Lingwold than elsewhere but they knew +the whereabouts of the man I wanted, though they seemed a little +ashamed of him. There was an inn in Lingwold that gave me shelter, +whence in the morning, equipped with purchases, I set out to find +their shepherd. And there he was on the edge of Mallington Moor +standing motionless, gazing stupidly at his sheep; his hands trembled +continually and his eyes had a blear look, but he was quite sober, +wherein all Lingwold had wronged him. +</P> + +<P> +And then and there I asked him of the city and he said he had never +heard tell of any such place. And I said, "Come, come, you must pull +yourself together." And he looked angrily at me; but when he saw me +draw from amongst my purchases a full bottle of whiskey and a big +glass he became more friendly. As I poured out the whiskey I asked him +again about the marble city on Mallington Moor but he seemed quite +honestly to know nothing about it. The amount of whiskey he drank was +quite incredible, but I seldom express surprise and once more I asked +him the way to the wonderful city. His hand was steadier now and his +eyes more intelligent and he said that he had heard something of some +such city, but his memory was evidently blurred and he was still +unable to give me useful directions. I consequently gave him another +tumbler, which he drank off like the first without any water, and +almost at once he was a different man. The trembling in his hands +stopped altogether, his eye became as quick as a younger man's, he +answered my questions readily and frankly, and, what was more +important to me still, his old memory became alert and clear for even +minutest details. His gratitude to myself I need not mention, for I +make no pretence that I bought the bottle of whiskey that the old +shepherd enjoyed so much without at least some thought of my own +advantage. Yet it was pleasant to reflect that it was due to me that +he had pulled himself together and steadied his shaking hand and +cleared his mind, recovered his memory and his self-respect. He spoke +to me quite clearly, no longer slurring his words; he had seen the +city first one moonlight night when he was lost in the mist on the big +moor, he had wandered far in the mist, and when it lifted he saw the +city by moonlight. He had no food, but luckily had his flask. There +never was such a city, not even in books. Travellers talked sometimes +of Venice seen from the sea, there might be such a place or there +might not, but, whether or no, it was nothing to the city on +Mallington Moor. Men who read books had talked to him in his time, +hundreds of books, but they never could tell of any city like this. +Why, the place was all of marble, roads, walls and palaces, all pure +white marble, and the tops of the tall thin spires were entirely of +gold. And they were queer folk in the city even for foreigners. And +there were camels, but I cut him short for I thought I could judge for +myself, if there was such a place, and, if not, I was wasting my time +as well as a pint of good whiskey. So I got him to speak of the way, +and after more circumlocution than I needed and more talk of the city +he pointed to a tiny track on the black earth just beside us, a little +twisty way you could hardly see. +</P> + +<P> +I said the moor was trackless; untrodden of man or dog it certainly +was and seemed to have less to do with the ways of man than any waste +I have seen, but the track the old shepherd showed me, if track it +was, was no more than the track of a hare—an elf-path the old man +called it, Heaven knows what he meant. And then before I left him he +insisted on giving me his flask with the queer strong rum it +contained. Whiskey brings out in some men melancholy, in some +rejoicing, with him it was clearly generosity and he insisted until I +took his rum, though I did not mean to drink it. It was lonely up +there, he said, and bitter cold and the city hard to find, being set +in a hollow, and I should need the rum, and he had never seen the +marble city except on days when he had had his flask: he seemed to +regard that rusted iron flask as a sort of mascot, and in the end I +took it. +</P> + +<P> +I followed that odd, faint track on the black earth under the heather +till I came to the big grey stone beyond the horizon, where the track +divides into two, and I took the one to the left as the old man told +me. I knew by another stone that I saw far off that I had not lost my +way, nor the old man lied. +</P> + +<P> +And just as I hoped to see the city's ramparts before the gloaming +fell on that desolate place, I suddenly saw a long high wall of +whiteness with pinnacles here and there thrown up above it, floating +towards me silent and grim as a secret, and knew it for that evil +thing the mist. The sun, though low, was shining on every sprig of +heather, the green and scarlet mosses were shining with it too, it +seemed incredible that in three minutes' time all those colours would +be gone and nothing left all round but a grey darkness. I gave up hope +of finding the city that day, a broader path than mine could have been +quite easily lost. I hastily chose for my bed a thick patch of +heather, wrapped myself in a waterproof cloak, and lay down and made +myself comfortable. And then the mist came. It came like the careful +pulling of lace curtains, then like the drawing of grey blinds; it +shut out the horizon to the north, then to the east and west; it +turned the whole sky white and hid the moor; it came down on it like a +metropolis, only utterly silent, silent and white as tombstones. +</P> + +<P> +And then I was glad of that strange strong rum, or whatever it was in +the flask that the shepherd gave me, for I did not think that the mist +would clear till night, and I feared the night would be cold. So I +nearly emptied the flask; and, sooner than I expected, I fell asleep, +for the first night out as a rule one does not sleep at once but is +kept awake some while by the little winds and the unfamiliar sound of +the things that wander at night, and that cry to one another far-off +with their queer, faint voices; one misses them afterwards when one +gets to houses again. But I heard none of these sounds in the mist +that evening. +</P> + +<P> +And then I woke and found that the mist was gone and the sun was just +disappearing under the moor, and I knew that I had not slept for as +long as I thought. And I decided to go on while I could, for I thought +that I was not very far from the city. +</P> + +<P> +I went on and on along the twisty track, bits of the mist came down +and filled the hollows but lifted again at once so that I saw my way. +The twilight faded as I went, a star appeared, and I was able to see +the track no longer. I could go no further that night, yet before I +lay down to sleep I decided to go and look over the edge of a wide +depression in the moor that I saw a little way off. So I left the +track and walked a few hundred yards, and when I got to the edge the +hollow was full of mist all white underneath me. Another star appeared +and a cold wind arose, and with the wind the mist flapped away like a +curtain. And there was the city. +</P> + +<P> +Nothing the shepherd had said was the least untrue or even +exaggerated. The poor old man had told the simple truth, there is not +a city like it in the world. What he had called thin spires were +minarets, but the little domes on the top were clearly pure gold as he +said. There were the marble terraces he described and the pure white +palaces covered with carving and hundreds of minarets. The city was +obviously of the East and yet where there should have been crescents +on the domes of the minarets there were golden suns with rays, and +wherever one looked one saw things that obscured its origin. I walked +down to it, and, passing through a wicket gate of gold in a low wall +of white marble, I entered the city. The heather went right up to the +city's edge and beat against the marble wall whenever the wind blew +it. Lights began to twinkle from high windows of blue glass as I +walked up the white street, beautiful copper lanterns were lit up and +let down from balconies by silver chains, from doors ajar came the +sound of voices singing, and then I saw the men. Their faces were +rather grey than black, and they wore beautiful robes of coloured silk +with hems embroidered with gold and some with copper, and sometimes +pacing down the marble ways with golden baskets hung on each side of +them I saw the camels of which the old shepherd spoke. +</P> + +<P> +The people had kindly faces, but, though they were evidently friendly +to strangers, I could not speak with them being ignorant of their +language, nor were the sounds of the syllables they used like any +language I had ever heard: they sounded more like grouse. +</P> + +<P> +When I tried to ask them by signs whence they had come with their city +they would only point to the moon, which was bright and full and was +shining fiercely on those marble ways till the city danced in light. +And now there began appearing one by one, slipping softly out through +windows, men with stringed instruments in the balconies. They were +strange instruments with huge bulbs of wood, and they played softly on +them and very beautifully, and their queer voices softly sang to the +music weird dirges of the griefs of their native land wherever that +may be. And far off in the heart of the city others were singing too, +the sound of it came to me wherever I roamed, not loud enough to +disturb my thoughts, but gently turning the mind to pleasant things. +Slender carved arches of marble, as delicate almost as lace, crossed +and re-crossed the ways wherever I went. There was none of that hurry +of which foolish cities boast, nothing ugly or sordid so far as I +could see. I saw that it was a city of beauty and song. I wondered how +they had travelled with all that marble, how they had laid it down on +Mallington Moor, whence they had come and what their resources were, +and determined to investigate closely next morning, for the old +shepherd had not troubled his head to think how the city came, he had +only noted that the city was there (and of course no one believed him, +though that is partly his fault for his dissolute ways). But at night +one can see little and I had walked all day, so I determined to find a +place to rest in. And just as I was wondering whether to ask for +shelter of those silk-robed men by signs or whether to sleep outside +the walls and enter again in the morning, I came to a great archway in +one of the marble houses with two black curtains, embroidered below +with gold, hanging across it. Over the archway were carved apparently +in many tongues the words: "Here strangers rest." In Greek, Latin and +Spanish the sentence was repeated and there was writing also in the +language that you see on the walls of the great temples of Egypt, and +Arabic and what I took to be early Assyrian and one or two languages I +had never seen. I entered through the curtains and found a tesselated +marble court with golden braziers burning sleepy incense swinging by +chains from the roof, all round the walls were comfortable mattresses +lying upon the floor covered with cloths and silks. It must have been +ten o'clock and I was tired. Outside the music still softly filled the +streets, a man had set a lantern down on the marble way, five or six +sat down round him, and he was sonorously telling them a story. Inside +there were some already asleep on the beds, in the middle of the wide +court under the braziers a woman dressed in blue was singing very +gently, she did not move, but sung on and on, I never heard a song +that was so soothing. I lay down on one of the mattresses by the wall, +which was all inlaid with mosaics, and pulled over me some of the +cloths with their beautiful alien work, and almost immediately my +thoughts seemed part of the song that the woman was singing in the +midst of the court under the golden braziers that hung from the high +roof, and the song turned them to dreams, and so I fell asleep. +</P> + +<P> +A small wind having arisen, I was awakened by a sprig of heather that +beat continually against my face. It was morning on Mallington Moor, +and the city was quite gone. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="milkman"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn +</H3> + +<P> +In the Hall of the Ancient Company of Milkmen round the great +fireplace at the end, when the winter logs are burning and all the +craft are assembled they tell to-day, as their grandfathers told +before them, why the milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. +</P> + +<P> +When dawn comes creeping over the edges of hills, peers through the +tree-trunks making wonderful shadows, touches the tops of tall columns +of smoke going up from awakening cottages in the valleys, and breaks +all golden over Kentish fields, when going on tip-toe thence it comes +to the walls of London and slips all shyly up those gloomy streets the +milkman perceives it and shudders. +</P> + +<P> +A man may be a Milkman's Working Apprentice, may know what borax is +and how to mix it, yet not for that is the story told to him. There +are five men alone that tell that story, five men appointed by the +Master of the Company, by whom each place is filled as it falls +vacant, and if you do not hear it from one of them you hear the story +from no one and so can never know why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. +</P> + +<P> +It is the way of one of these five men, greybeards all and milkmen +from infancy, to rub his hands by the fire when the great logs burn, +and to settle himself more easily in his chair, perhaps to sip some +drink far other than milk, then to look round to see that none are +there to whom it would not be fitting the tale should be told and, +looking from face to face and seeing none but the men of the Ancient +Company, and questioning mutely the rest of the five with his eyes, if +some of the five be there, and receiving their permission, to cough +and to tell the tale. And a great hush falls in the Hall of the +Ancient Company, and something about the shape of the roof and the +rafters makes the tale resonant all down the hall so that the youngest +hears it far away from the fire and knows, and dreams of the day when +perhaps he will tell himself why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. +</P> + +<P> +Not as one tells some casual fact is it told, nor is it commented on +from man to man, but it is told by that great fire only and when the +occasion and the stillness of the room and the merit of the wine and +the profit of all seem to warrant it in the opinion of the five +deputed men: then does one of them tell it, as I have said, not +heralded by any master of ceremonies but as though it arose out of the +warmth of the fire before which his knotted hands would chance to be; +not a thing learned by rote, but told differently by each teller, and +differently according to his mood, yet never has one of them dared to +alter its salient points, there is none so base among the Company of +Milkmen. The Company of Powderers for the Face know of this story and +have envied it, the Worthy Company of Chin-Barbers, and the Company of +Whiskerers; but none have heard it in the Milkmen's Hall, through +whose wall no rumour of the secret goes, and though they have invented +tales of their own Antiquity mocks them. +</P> + +<P> +This mellow story was ripe with honourable years when milkmen wore +beaver hats, its origin was still mysterious when smocks were the +vogue, men asked one another when Stuarts were on the throne (and only +the Ancient Company knew the answer) why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. It is all for envy of this tale's reputation that +the Company of Powderers for the Face have invented the tale that they +too tell of an evening, "Why the Dog Barks when he hears the step of +the Baker"; and because probably all men know that tale the Company of +the Powderers for the Face have dared to consider it famous. Yet it +lacks mystery and is not ancient, is not fortified with classical +allusion, has no secret lore, is common to all who care for an idle +tale, and shares with "The Wars of the Elves," the Calf-butcher's +tale, and "The Story of the Unicorn and the Rose," which is the tale +of the Company of Horse-drivers, their obvious inferiority. +</P> + +<P> +But unlike all these tales so new to time, and many another that the +last two centuries tell, the tale that the milkmen tell ripples wisely +on, so full of quotation from the profoundest writers, so full of +recondite allusion, so deeply tinged with all the wisdom of man and +instructive with the experience of all times that they that hear it in +the Milkmen's Hall as they interpret allusion after allusion and trace +obscure quotation lose idle curiosity and forget to question why the +milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. +</P> + +<P> +You also, O my reader, give not yourself up to curiosity. Consider of +how many it is the bane. Would you to gratify this tear away the +mystery from the Milkmen's Hall and wrong the Ancient Company of +Milkmen? Would they if all the world knew it and it became a common +thing to tell that tale any more that they have told for the last four +hundred years? Rather a silence would settle upon their hall and a +universal regret for the ancient tale and the ancient winter evenings. +And though curiosity were a proper consideration yet even then this is +not the proper place nor this the proper occasion for the Tale. For +the proper place is only the Milkmen's Hall and the proper occasion +only when logs burn well and when wine has been deeply drunken, then +when the candles were burning well in long rows down to the dimness, +down to the darkness and mystery that lie at the end of the hall, then +were you one of the Company, and were I one of the five, would I rise +from my seat by the fireside and tell you with all the embellishments +that it has gleaned from the ages that story that is the heirloom of +the milkmen. And the long candles would burn lower and lower and +gutter and gutter away till they liquefied in their sockets, and +draughts would blow from the shadowy end of the hall stronger and +stronger till the shadows came after them, and still I would hold you +with that treasured story, not by any wit of mine but all for the sake +of its glamour and the times out of which it came; one by one the +candles would flare and die and, when all were gone, by the light of +ominous sparks when each milkman's face looks fearful to his fellow, +you would know, as now you cannot, why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="woman"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Bad Old Woman in Black +</H3> + +<P> +The bad old woman in black ran down the street of the ox-butchers. +</P> + +<P> +Windows at once were opened high up in those crazy gables; heads were +thrust out: it was she. Then there arose the counsel of anxious +voices, calling sideways from window to window or across to opposite +houses. Why was she there with her sequins and bugles and old black +gown? Why had she left her dreaded house? On what fell errand she +hasted? +</P> + +<P> +They watched her lean, lithe figure, and the wind in that old black +dress, and soon she was gone from the cobbled street and under the +town's high gateway. She turned at once to her right and was hid from +the view of the houses. Then they all ran down to their doors, and +small groups formed on the pavement; there they took counsel together, +the eldest speaking first. Of what they had seen they said nothing, +for there was no doubt it was she; it was of the future they spoke, +and the future only. +</P> + +<P> +In what notorious thing would her errand end? What gains had tempted +her out from her fearful home? What brilliant but sinful scheme had +her genius planned? Above all, what future evil did this portend? Thus +at first it was only questions. And then the old grey-beards spoke, +each one to a little group; they had seen her out before, had known +her when she was younger, and had noted the evil things that had +followed her goings: the small groups listened well to their low and +earnest voices. No one asked questions now or guessed at her infamous +errand, but listened only to the wise old men who knew the things that +had been, and who told the younger men of the dooms that had come +before. +</P> + +<P> +Nobody knew how many times she had left her dreaded house; but the +oldest recounted all the times that they knew, and the way she had +gone each time, and the doom that had followed her going; and two +could remember the earthquake that there was in the street of the +shearers. +</P> + +<P> +So were there many tales of the times that were, told on the pavement +near the old green doors by the edge of the cobbled street, and the +experience that the aged men had bought with their white hairs might +be had cheap by the young. But from all their experience only this was +clear, that never twice in their lives had she done the same infamous +thing, and that the same calamity twice had never followed her goings. +Therefore it seemed that means were doubtful and few for finding out +what thing was about to befall; and an ominous feeling of gloom came +down on the street of the ox-butchers. And in the gloom grew fears of +the very worst. This comfort they only had when they put their fear +into words—that the doom that followed her goings had never yet been +anticipated. One feared that with magic she meant to move the moon; +and he would have dammed the high tide on the neighbouring coast, +knowing that as the moon attracted the sea the sea must attract the +moon, and hoping by his device to humble her spells. Another would +have fetched iron bars and clamped them across the street, remembering +the earthquake there was in the street of the shearers. Another would +have honoured his household gods, the little cat-faced idols seated +above his hearth, gods to whom magic was no unusual thing, and, having +paid their fees and honoured them well, would have put the whole case +before them. His scheme found favour with many, and yet at last was +rejected, for others ran indoors and brought out their gods, too, to +be honoured, till there was a herd of gods all seated there on the +pavement; yet would they have honoured them and put their case before +them but that a fat man ran up last of all, carefully holding under a +reverent arm his own two hound-faced gods, though he knew well—as, +indeed, all men must—that they were notoriously at war with the +little cat-faced idols. And although the animosities natural to faith +had all been lulled by the crisis, yet a look of anger had come into +the cat-like faces that no one dared disregard, and all perceived that +if they stayed a moment longer there would be flaming around them the +jealousy of the gods; so each man hastily took his idols home, leaving +the fat man insisting that his hound-faced gods should be honoured. +</P> + +<P> +Then there were schemes again and voices raised in debate, and many +new dangers feared and new plans made. +</P> + +<P> +But in the end they made no defence against danger, for they knew not +what it would be, but wrote upon parchment as a warning, and in order +that all might know: "<I>The bad old woman in black ran down the street +of the ox-butchers.</I>" +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="bird"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Bird of the Difficult Eye +</H3> + +<P> +Observant men and women that know their Bond Street well will +appreciate my astonishment when in a jewellers' shop I perceived that +nobody was furtively watching me. Not only this but when I even picked +up a little carved crystal to examine it no shop-assistants crowded +round me. I walked the whole length of the shop, still no one politely +followed. +</P> + +<P> +Seeing from this that some extraordinary revolution had occurred in +the jewelry business I went with my curiosity well aroused to a queer +old person half demon and half man who has an idol-shop in a byway of +the City and who keeps me informed of affairs at the Edge of the +World. And briefly over a pinch of heather incense that he takes by +way of snuff he gave me this tremendous information: that Mr. Neepy +Thang the son of Thangobrind had returned from the Edge of the World +and was even now in London. +</P> + +<P> +The information may not appear tremendous to those unacquainted with +the source of jewelry; but when I say that the only thief employed by +any West-end jeweller since famous Thangobrind's distressing doom is +this same Neepy Thang, and that for lightness of fingers and swiftness +of stockinged foot they have none better in Paris, it will be +understood why the Bond Street jewellers no longer cared what became +of their old stock. +</P> + +<P> +There were big diamonds in London that summer and a few considerable +sapphires. In certain astounding kingdoms behind the East strange +sovereigns missed from their turbans the heirlooms of ancient wars, +and here and there the keepers of crown jewels who had not heard the +stockinged feet of Thang, were questioned and died slowly. +</P> + +<P> +And the jewellers gave a little dinner to Thang at the Hotel Great +Magnificent; the windows had not been opened for five years and there +was wine at a guinea a bottle that you could not tell from champagne +and cigars at half a crown with a Havana label. Altogether it was a +splendid evening for Thang. +</P> + +<P> +But I have to tell of a far sadder thing than a dinner at a hotel. The +public require jewelry and jewelry must be obtained. I have to tell of +Neepy Thang's last journey. +</P> + +<P> +That year the fashion was emeralds. A man named Green had recently +crossed the Channel on a bicycle and the jewellers said that a green +stone would be particularly appropriate to commemorate the event and +recommended emeralds. +</P> + +<P> +Now a certain money-lender of Cheapside who had just been made a peer +had divided his gains into three equal parts; one for the purchase of +the peerage, country house and park, and the twenty thousand pheasants +that are absolutely essential, and one for the upkeep of the position, +while the third he banked abroad, partly to cheat the native +tax-gatherer and partly because it seemed to him that the days of the +Peerage were few and that he might at any moment be called upon to +start afresh elsewhere. In the upkeep of the position he included +jewelry for his wife and so it came about that Lord Castlenorman +placed an order with two well-known Bond-street jewellers named +Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell to the extent of £100,000 for a few +reliable emeralds. +</P> + +<P> +But the emeralds in stock were mostly small and shop-soiled and Neepy +Thang had to set out at once before he had had as much as a week in +London. I will briefly sketch his project. Not many knew it, for where +the form of business is blackmail the fewer creditors you have the +better (which of course in various degrees applies at all times). +</P> + +<P> +On the shores of the risky seas of Shiroora Shan grows one tree only +so that upon its branches if anywhere in the world there must build +its nest the Bird of the Difficult Eye. Neepy Thang had come by this +information, which was indeed the truth, that if the bird migrated to +Fairyland before the three eggs hatched out they would undoubtedly all +turn into emeralds, while if they hatched out first it would be a bad +business. +</P> + +<P> +When he had mentioned these eggs to Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell +they had said, "The very thing": they were men of few words, in +English, for it was not their native tongue. +</P> + +<P> +So Neepy Thang set out. He bought the purple ticket at Victoria +Station. He went by Herne Hill, Bromley and Bickley and passed St. +Mary Cray. At Eynsford he changed and taking a footpath along a +winding valley went wandering into the hills. And at the top of a hill +in a little wood, where all the anemones long since were over and the +perfume of mint and thyme from outside came drifting in with Thang, he +found once more the familiar path, age-old and fair as wonder, that +leads to the Edge of the World. Little to him were its sacred memories +that are one with the secret of earth, for he was on business, and +little would they be to me if I ever put them on paper. Let it suffice +that he went down that path going further and further from the fields +we know, and all the way he muttered to himself, "What if the eggs +hatch out and it be a bad business!" The glamour that is at all times +upon those lonely lands that lie at the back of the chalky hills of +Kent intensified as he went upon his journeys. Queerer and queerer +grew the things that he saw by little World-End Path. Many a twilight +descended upon that journey with all their mysteries, many a blaze of +stars; many a morning came flaming up to a tinkle of silvern horns; +till the outpost elves of Fairyland came in sight and the glittering +crests of Fairyland's three mountains betokened the journey's end. And +so with painful steps (for the shores of the world are covered with +huge crystals) he came to the risky seas of Shiroora Shan and saw them +pounding to gravel the wreckage of fallen stars, saw them and heard +their roar, those shipless seas that between earth and the fairies' +homes heave beneath some huge wind that is none of our four. And there +in the darkness on the grizzly coast, for darkness was swooping +slantwise down the sky as though with some evil purpose, there stood +that lonely, gnarled and deciduous tree. It was a bad place to be +found in after dark, and night descended with multitudes of stars, +beasts prowling in the blackness gluttered [See any dictionary, but in +vain.] at Neepy Thang. And there on a lower branch within easy reach +he clearly saw the Bird of the Difficult Eye sitting upon the nest for +which she is famous. Her face was towards those three inscrutable +mountains, far-off on the other side of the risky seas, whose hidden +valleys are Fairyland. Though not yet autumn in the fields we know, it +was close on midwinter here, the moment as Thang knew when those eggs +hatch out. Had he miscalculated and arrived a minute too late? Yet the +bird was even now about to migrate, her pinions fluttered and her gaze +was toward Fairyland. Thang hoped and muttered a prayer to those pagan +gods whose spite and vengeance he had most reason to fear. It seems +that it was too late or a prayer too small to placate them, for there +and then the stroke of midwinter came and the eggs hatched out in the +roar of Shiroora Shan or ever the bird was gone with her difficult eye +and it was a bad business indeed for Neepy Thang; I haven't the heart +to tell you any more. +</P> + +<P> +"'Ere," said Lord Castlenorman some few weeks later to Messrs. +Grosvenor and Campbell, "you aren't 'arf taking your time about those +emeralds." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="porter"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Long Porter's Tale +</H3> + +<P> +There are things that are known only to the long porter of Tong Tong +Tarrup as he sits and mumbles memories to himself in the little +bastion gateway. +</P> + +<P> +He remembers the war there was in the halls of the gnomes; and how the +fairies came for the opals once, which Tong Tong Tarrup has; and the +way that the giants went through the fields below, he watching from +his gateway: he remembers quests that are even yet a wonder to the +gods. Who dwells in those frozen houses on the high bare brink of the +world not even he has told me, and he is held to be garrulous. Among +the elves, the only living things ever seen moving at that awful +altitude where they quarry turquoise on Earth's highest crag, his name +is a byword for loquacity wherewith they mock the talkative. +</P> + +<P> +His favourite story if you offer him bash—the drug of which he is +fondest, and for which he will give his service in war to the elves +against the goblins, or vice-versa if the goblins bring him more—his +favourite story, when bodily soothed by the drug and mentally fiercely +excited, tells of a quest undertaken ever so long ago for nothing more +marketable than an old woman's song. +</P> + +<P> +Picture him telling it. An old man, lean and bearded, and almost +monstrously long, that lolled in a city's gateway on a crag perhaps +ten miles high; the houses for the most part facing eastward, lit by +the sun and moon and the constellations we know, but one house on the +pinnacle looking over the edge of the world and lit by the glimmer of +those unearthly spaces where one long evening wears away the stars: my +little offering of bash; a long forefinger that nipped it at once on a +stained and greedy thumb—all these are in the foreground of the +picture. In the background, the mystery of those silent houses and of +not knowing who their denizens were, or what service they had at the +hands of the long porter and what payment he had in return, and +whether he was mortal. +</P> + +<P> +Picture him in the gateway of this incredible town, having swallowed +my bash in silence, stretch his great length, lean back, and begin to +speak. +</P> + +<P> +It seems that one clear morning a hundred years ago, a visitor to Tong +Tong Tarrup was climbing up from the world. He had already passed +above the snow and had set his foot on a step of the earthward +stairway that goes down from Tong Tong Tarrup on to the rocks, when +the long porter saw him. And so painfully did he climb those easy +steps that the grizzled man on watch had long to wonder whether or not +the stranger brought him bash, the drug that gives a meaning to the +stars and seems to explain the twilight. And in the end there was not +a scrap of bash, and the stranger had nothing better to offer that +grizzled man than his mere story only. +</P> + +<P> +It seems that the stranger's name was Gerald Jones, and he always +lived in London; but once as a child he had been on a Northern moor. +It was so long ago that he did not remember how, only somehow or other +he walked alone on the moor, and all the ling was in flower. There was +nothing in sight but ling and heather and bracken, except, far off +near the sunset, on indistinct hills, there were little vague patches +that looked like the fields of men. With evening a mist crept up and +hid the hills, and still he went walking on over the moor. And then he +came to the valley, a tiny valley in the midst of the moor, whose +sides were incredibly steep. He lay down and looked at it through the +roots of the ling. And a long, long way below him, in a garden by a +cottage, with hollyhocks all round her that were taller than herself, +there sat an old woman on a wooden chair, singing in the evening. And +the man had taken a fancy to the song and remembered it after in +London, and whenever it came to his mind it made him think of +evenings—the kind you don't get in London—and he heard a soft wind +going idly over the moor and the bumble-bees in a hurry, and forgot +the noise of the traffic. And always, whenever he heard men speak of +Time, he grudged to Time most this song. Once afterwards he went to +that Northern moor again and found the tiny valley, but there was no +old woman in the garden, and no one was singing a song. And either +regret for the song that the old woman had sung, on a summer evening +twenty years away and daily receding, troubled his mind, or else the +wearisome work that he did in London, for he worked for a great firm +that was perfectly useless; and he grew old early, as men do in +cities. And at last, when melancholy brought only regret and the +uselessness of his work gained round him with age, he decided to +consult a magician. So to a magician he went and told him his +troubles, and particularly he told him how he had heard the song. "And +now," he said, "it is nowhere in the world." +</P> + +<P> +"Of course it is not in the world," the magician said, "but over the +Edge of the World you may easily find it." And he told the man that he +was suffering from flux of time and recommended a day at the Edge of +the World. Jones asked what part of the Edge of the World he should go +to, and the magician had heard Tong Tong Tarrup well spoken of; so he +paid him, as is usual, in opals, and started at once on the journey. +The ways to that town are winding; he took the ticket at Victoria +Station that they only give if they know you: he went past Bleth: he +went along the Hills of Neol-Hungar and came to the Gap of Poy. All +these are in that part of the world that pertains to the fields we +know; but beyond the Gap of Poy on those ordinary plains, that so +closely resemble Sussex, one first meets the unlikely. A line of +common grey hills, the Hills of Sneg, may be seen at the edge of the +plain from the Gap of Poy; it is there that the incredible begins, +infrequently at first, but happening more and more as you go up the +hills. For instance, descending once into Poy Plains, the first thing +that I saw was an ordinary shepherd watching a flock of ordinary +sheep. I looked at them for some time and nothing happened, when, +without a word, one of the sheep walked up to the shepherd and +borrowed his pipe and smoked it—an incident that struck me as +unlikely; but in the Hills of Sneg I met an honest politician. Over +these plains went Jones and over the Hills of Sneg, meeting at first +unlikely things, and then incredible things, till he came to the long +slope beyond the hills that leads up to the Edge of the World, and +where, as all guidebooks tell, anything may happen. You might at the +foot of this slope see here and there things that could conceivably +occur in the fields we know; but soon these disappeared, and the +traveller saw nothing but fabulous beasts, browsing on flowers as +astounding as themselves, and rocks so distorted that their shapes had +clearly a meaning, being too startling to be accidental. Even the +trees were shockingly unfamiliar, they had so much to say, and they +leant over to one another whenever they spoke and struck grotesque +attitudes and leered. Jones saw two fir-trees fighting. The effect of +these scenes on his nerves was very severe; still he climbed on, and +was much cheered at last by the sight of a primrose, the only familiar +thing he had seen for hours, but it whistled and skipped away. He saw +the unicorns in their secret valley. Then night in a sinister way +slipped over the sky, and there shone not only the stars, but lesser +and greater moons, and he heard dragons rattling in the dark. +</P> + +<P> +With dawn there appeared above him among its amazing crags the town of +Tong Tong Tarrup, with the light on its frozen stairs, a tiny cluster +of houses far up in the sky. He was on the steep mountain now: great +mists were leaving it slowly, and revealing, as they trailed away, +more and more astonishing things. Before the mist had all gone he +heard quite near him, on what he had thought was bare mountain, the +sound of a heavy galloping on turf. He had come to the plateau of the +centaurs. And all at once he saw them in the mist: there they were, +the children of fable, five enormous centaurs. Had he paused on +account of any astonishment he had not come so far: he strode on over +the plateau, and came quite near to the centaurs. It is never the +centaurs' wont to notice men; they pawed the ground and shouted to one +another in Greek, but they said no word to him. Nevertheless they +turned and stared at him when he left them, and when he had crossed +the plateau and still went on, all five of them cantered after to the +edge of their green land; for above the high green plateau of the +centaurs is nothing but naked mountains, and the last green thing that +is seen by the mountaineer as he travels to Tong Tong Tarrup is the +grass that the centaurs trample. He came into the snow fields that the +mountain wears like a cape, its head being bare above it, and still +climbed on. The centaurs watched him with increasing wonder. +</P> + +<P> +Not even fabulous beasts were near him now, nor strange demoniac +trees—nothing but snow and the clean bare crag above it on which was +Tong Tong Tarrup. All day he climbed and evening found him above the +snow-line; and soon he came to the stairway cut in the rock and in +sight of that grizzled man, the long porter of Tong Tong Tarrup, +sitting mumbling amazing memories to himself and expecting in vain +from the stranger a gift of bash. +</P> + +<P> +It seems that as soon as the stranger arrived at the bastion gateway, +tired though he was, he demanded lodgings at once that commanded a +good view of the Edge of the World. But the long porter, that grizzled +man, disappointed of his bash, demanded the stranger's story to add to +his memories before he would show him the way. And this is the story, +if the long porter has told me the truth and if his memory is still +what it was. And when the story was told, the grizzled man arose, and, +dangling his musical keys, went up through door after door and by many +stairs and led the stranger to the top-most house, the highest roof in +the world, and in its parlour showed him the parlour window. There the +tired stranger sat down in a chair and gazed out of the window sheer +over the Edge of the World. The window was shut, and in its glittering +panes the twilight of the World's Edge blazed and danced, partly like +glow-worms' lamps and partly like the sea; it went by rippling, full +of wonderful moons. But the traveller did not look at the wonderful +moons. For from the abyss there grew with their roots in far +constellations a row of hollyhocks, and amongst them a small green +garden quivered and trembled as scenes tremble in water; higher up, +ling in bloom was floating upon the twilight, more and more floated up +till all the twilight was purple; the little green garden low down was +hung in the midst of it. And the garden down below, and the ling all +round it, seemed all to be trembling and drifting on a song. For the +twilight was full of a song that sang and rang along the edges of the +World, and the green garden and the ling seemed to flicker and ripple +with it as the song rose and fell, and an old woman was singing it +down in the garden. A bumble-bee sailed across from over the Edge of +the World. And the song that was lapping there against the coasts of +the World, and to which the stars were dancing, was the same that he +had heard the old woman sing long since down in the valley in the +midst of the Northern moor. +</P> + +<P> +But that grizzled man, the long porter, would not let the stranger +stay, because he brought him no bash, and impatiently he shouldered +him away, himself not troubling to glance through the World's +outermost window, for the lands that Time afflicts and the spaces that +Time knows not are all one to that grizzled man, and the bash that he +eats more profoundly astounds his mind than anything man can show him +either in the World we know or over the Edge. And, bitterly +protesting, the traveller went back and down again to the World. +</P> + +<P CLASS="noindent" ALIGN="center"> +<SPAN STYLE="letter-spacing: 4em">*****</SPAN><BR> +</P> + +<P> +Accustomed as I am to the incredible from knowing the Edge of the +World, the story presents difficulties to me. Yet it may be that the +devastation wrought by Time is merely local, and that outside the +scope of his destruction old songs are still being sung by those that +we deem dead. I try to hope so. And yet the more I investigate the +story that the long porter told me in the town of Tong Tong Tarrup the +more plausible the alternative theory appears—that that grizzled man +is a liar. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="loma"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Loot of Loma +</H3> + +<P> +Coming back laden with the loot of Loma, the four tall men looked +earnestly to the right; to the left they durst not, for the precipice +there that had been with them so long went sickly down on to a bank of +clouds, and how much further below that only their fears could say. +</P> + +<P> +Loma lay smoking, a city of ruin, behind them, all its defenders dead; +there was no one left to pursue them, and yet their Indian instincts +told them that all was scarcely well. They had gone three days along +that narrow ledge: mountain quite smooth, incredible, above them, and +precipice as smooth and as far below. It was chilly there in the +mountains; at night a stream or a wind in the gloom of the chasm below +them went like a whisper; the stillness of all things else began to +wear the nerve—an enemy's howl would have braced them; they began to +wish their perilous path were wider, they began to wish that they had +not sacked Loma. +</P> + +<P> +Had that path been any wider the sacking of Loma must indeed have been +harder for them, for the citizens must have fortified the city but +that the awful narrowness of that ten-league pass of the hills had +made their crag-surrounded city secure. And at last an Indian had +said, "Come, let us sack it." Grimly they laughed in the wigwams. Only +the eagles, they said, had ever seen it, its hoard of emeralds and its +golden gods; and one had said he would reach it, and they answered, +"Only the eagles." +</P> + +<P> +It was Laughing Face who said it, and who gathered thirty braves and +led them into Loma with their tomahawks and their bows; there were +only four left now, but they had the loot of Loma on a mule. They had +four golden gods, a hundred emeralds, fifty-two rubies, a large silver +gong, two sticks of malachite with amethyst handles for holding +incense at religious feasts, four beakers one foot high, each carved +from a rose-quartz crystal; a little coffer carved out of two +diamonds, and (had they but known it) the written curse of a priest. +It was written on parchment in an unknown tongue, and had been slipped +in with the loot by a dying hand. +</P> + +<P> +From either end of that narrow, terrible ledge the third night was +closing in; it was dropping down on them from the heights of the +mountain and slipping up to them out of the abyss, the third night +since Loma blazed and they had left it. Three more days of tramping +should bring them in triumph home, and yet their instincts said that +all was scarcely well. We who sit at home and draw the blinds and shut +the shutters as soon as night appears, who gather round the fire when +the wind is wild, who pray at regular seasons and in familiar shrines, +know little of the demoniac look of night when it is filled with +curses of false, infuriated gods. Such a night was this. Though in the +heights the fleecy clouds were idle, yet the wind was stirring +mournfully in the abyss and moaning as it stirred, unhappily at first +and full of sorrow; but as day turned away from that awful path a very +definite menace entered its voice which fast grew louder and louder, +and night came on with a long howl. Shadows repeatedly passed over the +stars, and then a mist fell swiftly, as though there were something +suddenly to be done and utterly to be hidden, as in very truth there +was. +</P> + +<P> +And in the chill of that mist the four tall men prayed to their +totems, the whimsical wooden figures that stood so far away, watching +the pleasant wigwams; the firelight even now would be dancing over +their faces, while there would come to their ears delectable tales of +war. They halted upon the pass and prayed, and waited for any sign. +For a man's totem may be in the likeness perhaps of an otter, and a +man may pray, and if his totem be placable and watching over his man a +noise may be heard at once like the noise that the otter makes, though +it be but a stone that falls on another stone; and the noise is a +sign. The four men's totems that stood so far away were in the +likeness of the coney, the bear, the heron, and the lizard. They +waited, and no sign came. With all the noises of the wind in the +abyss, no noise was like the thump that the coney makes, nor the +bear's growl, nor the heron's screech, nor the rustle of the lizard in +the reeds. +</P> + +<P> +It seemed that the wind was saying something over and over again, and +that that thing was evil. They prayed again to their totems, and no +sign came. And then they knew that there was some power that night +that was prevailing against the pleasant carvings on painted poles of +wood with the firelight on their faces so far away. Now it was clear +that the wind was saying something, some very, very dreadful thing in +a tongue that they did not know. They listened, but they could not +tell what it said. Nobody could have said from seeing their faces how +much the four tall men desired the wigwams again, desired the +camp-fire and the tales of war and the benignant totems that listened +and smiled in the dusk: nobody could have seen how well they knew that +this was no common night or wholesome mist. +</P> + +<P> +When at last no answer came nor any sign from their totems, they +pulled out of the bag those golden gods that Loma gave not up except +in flames and when all her men were dead. They had large ruby eyes and +emerald tongues. They set them down upon that mountain pass, the +cross-legged idols with their emerald tongues; and having placed +between them a few decent yards, as it seemed meet there should be +between gods and men, they bowed them down and prayed in their +desperate straits in that dank, ominous night to the gods they had +wronged, for it seemed that there was a vengeance upon the hills and +that they would scarce escape, as the wind knew well. And the gods +laughed, all four, and wagged their emerald tongues; the Indians saw +them, though the night had fallen and though the mist was low. The +four tall men leaped up at once from their knees and would have left +the gods upon the pass but that they feared some hunter of their tribe +might one day find them and say of Laughing Face, "He fled and left +behind his golden gods," and sell the gold and come with his wealth to +the wigwams and be greater than Laughing Face and his three men. And +then they would have cast the gods away, down the abyss, with their +eyes and their emerald tongues, but they knew that enough already they +had wronged Loma's gods, and feared that vengeance enough was waiting +them on the hills. So they packed them back in the bag on the +frightened mule, the bag that held the curse they knew nothing of, and +so pushed on into the menacing night. Till midnight they plodded on +and would not sleep; grimmer and grimmer grew the look of the night, +and the wind more full of meaning, and the mule knew and trembled, and +it seemed that the wind knew, too, as did the instincts of those four +tall men, though they could not reason it out, try how they would. +</P> + +<P> +And though the squaws waited long where the pass winds out of the +mountains, near where the wigwams are upon the plains, the wigwams and +the totems and the fire, and though they watched by day, and for many +nights uttered familiar calls, still did they never see those four +tall men emerge out of the mountains any more, even though they prayed +to their totems upon their painted poles; but the curse in the +mystical writing that they had unknown in their bag worked there on +that lonely pass six leagues from the ruins of Loma, and nobody can +tell us what it was. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="secret"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Secret of the Sea +</H3> + +<P> +In an ill-lit ancient tavern that I know, are many tales of the sea; +but not without the wine of Gorgondy, that I had of a private bargain +from the gnomes, was the tale laid bare for which I had waited of an +evening for the greater part of a year. +</P> + +<P> +I knew my man and listened to his stories, sitting amid the bluster of +his oaths; I plied him with rum and whiskey and mixed drinks, but +there never came the tale for which I sought, and as a last resort I +went to the Huthneth Mountains and bargained there all night with the +chiefs of the gnomes. +</P> + +<P> +When I came to the ancient tavern and entered the low-roofed room, +bringing the hoard of the gnomes in a bottle of hammered iron, my man +had not yet arrived. The sailors laughed at my old iron bottle, but I +sat down and waited; had I opened it then they would have wept and +sung. I was well content to wait, for I knew my man had the story, and +it was such a one as had profoundly stirred the incredulity of the +faithless. +</P> + +<P> +He entered and greeted me, and sat down and called for brandy. He was +a hard man to turn from his purpose, and, uncorking my iron bottle, I +sought to dissuade him from brandy for fear that when the brandy, bit +his throat he should refuse to leave it for any other wine. He lifted +his head and said deep and dreadful things of any man that should dare +to speak against brandy. +</P> + +<P> +I swore that I said nothing against brandy but added that it was often +given to children, while Gorgondy was only drunk by men of such +depravity that they had abandoned sin because all the usual vices had +come to seem genteel. When he asked if Gorgondy was a bad wine to +drink I said that it was so bad that if a man sipped it that was the +one touch that made damnation certain. Then he asked me what I had in +the iron bottle, and I said it was Gorgondy; and then he shouted for +the largest tumbler in that ill-lit ancient tavern, and stood up and +shook his fist at me when it came, and swore, and told me to fill it +with the wine that I got on that bitter night from the treasure house +of the gnomes. +</P> + +<P> +As he drank it he told me that he had met men who had spoken against +wine, and that they had mentioned Heaven; and therefore he would not +go there—no, not he; and that once he had sent one of them to Hell, +but when he got there he would turn him out, and he had no use for +milksops. +</P> + +<P> +Over the second tumbler he was thoughtful, but still he said no word +of the tale he knew, until I feared that it would never be heard. But +when the third glass of that terrific wine had burned its way down his +gullet, and vindicated the wickedness of the gnomes, his reticence +withered like a leaf in the fire, and he bellowed out the secret. +</P> + +<P> +I had long known that there is in ships a will or way of their own, +and had even suspected that when sailors die or abandon their ships at +sea, a derelict, being left to her own devices, may seek her own ends; +but I had never dreamed by night, or fancied during the day, that the +ships had a god that they worshipped, or that they secretly slipped +away to a temple in the sea. +</P> + +<P> +Over the fourth glass of the wine that the gnomes so sinfully brew but +have kept so wisely from man, until the bargain that I had with their +elders all through that autumn night, the sailor told me the story. I +do not tell it as he told it to me because of the oaths that were in +it; nor is it from delicacy that I refrain from writing these oaths +verbatim, but merely because the horror they caused in me at the time +troubles me still whenever I put them on paper, and I continue to +shudder until I have blotted them out. Therefore, I tell the story in +my own words, which, if they possess a certain decency that was not in +the mouth of that sailor, unfortunately do not smack, as his did, of +rum and blood and the sea. +</P> + +<P> +You would take a ship to be a dead thing like a table, as dead as bits +of iron and canvas and wood. That is because you always live on shore, +and have never seen the sea, and drink milk. Milk is a more accursed +drink than water. +</P> + +<P> +What with the captain and what with the man at the wheel, and what +with the crew, a ship has no fair chance of showing a will of her own. +</P> + +<P> +There is only one moment in the history of ships, that carry crews on +board, when they act by their own free will. This moment comes when +all the crew are drunk. As the last man falls drunk on to the deck, +the ship is free of man, and immediately slips away. She slips away at +once on a new course and is never one yard out in a hundred miles. +</P> + +<P> +It was like this one night with the Sea-Fancy. Bill Smiles was there +himself, and can vouch for it. Bill Smiles has never told this tale +before for fear that anyone should call him a liar. Nobody dislikes +being hung as much as Bill Smiles would, but he won't be called a +liar. I tell the tale as I heard it, relevancies and irrelevancies, +though in my more decent words; and as I made no doubts of the truth +of it then, I hardly like to now; others can please themselves. +</P> + +<P> +It is not often that the whole of a crew is drunk. The crew of the +Sea-Fancy was no drunkener than others. It happened like this. +</P> + +<P> +The captain was always drunk. One day a fancy he had that some spiders +were plotting against him, or a sudden bleeding he had from both his +ears, made him think that drinking might be bad for his health. Next +day he signed the pledge. He was sober all that morning and all the +afternoon, but at evening he saw a sailor drinking a a glass of beer, +and a fit of madness seized him, and he said things that seemed bad to +Bill Smiles. And next morning he made all of them take the pledge. +</P> + +<P> +For two days nobody had a drop to drink, unless you count water, and +on the third morning the captain was quite drunk. It stood to reason +they all had a glass or two then, except the man at the wheel; and +towards evening the man at the wheel could bear it no longer, and +seems to have had his glass like all the rest, for the ship's course +wobbled a bit and made a circle or two. Then all of a sudden she went +off south by east under full canvas till midnight, and never altered +her course. And at midnight she came to the wide wet courts of the +Temple in the Sea. +</P> + +<P> +People who think that Mr. Smiles is drunk often make a great mistake. +And people are not the only ones that have made that mistake. Once a +ship made it, and a lot of ships. It's a mistake to think that old +Bill Smiles is drunk just because he can't move. +</P> + +<P> +Midnight and moonlight and the Temple in the Sea Bill Smiles clearly +remembers, and all the derelicts in the world were there, the old +abandoned ships. The figureheads were nodding to themselves and +blinking at the image. The image was a woman of white marble on a +pedestal in the outer court of the Temple of the Sea: she was clearly +the love of all the man-deserted ships, or the goddess to whom they +prayed their heathen prayers. And as Bill Smiles was watching them, +the lips of the figureheads moved; they all began to pray. But all at +once their lips were closed with a snap when they saw that there were +men on the Sea-Fancy. They all came crowding up and nodded and nodded +and nodded to see if all were drunk, and that's when they made their +mistake about old Bill Smiles, although he couldn't move. They would +have given up the treasuries of the gulfs sooner than let men hear the +prayers they said or guess their love for the goddess. It is the +intimate secret of the sea. +</P> + +<P> +The sailor paused. And, in my eagerness to hear what lyrical or +blasphemous thing those figureheads prayed by moonlight at midnight in +the sea to the woman of marble who was a goddess to ships, I pressed +on the sailor more of my Gorgondy wine that the gnomes so wickedly +brew. +</P> + +<P> +I should never have done it; but there he was sitting silent while the +secret was almost mine. He took it moodily and drank a glass; and with +the other glasses that he had had he fell a prey to the villainy of +the gnomes who brew this unbridled wine to no good end. His body +leaned forward slowly, then fell on to the table, his face being +sideways and full of a wicked smile, and, saying very clearly the one +word, "Hell," he became silent for ever with the secret he had from +the sea. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="black"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +How Ali Came to the Black Country +</H3> + +<P> +Shooshan the barber went to Shep the maker of teeth to discuss the +state of England. They agreed that it was time to send for Ali. +</P> + +<P> +So Shooshan stepped late that night from the little shop near Fleet +Street and made his way back again to his house in the ends of London +and sent at once the message that brought Ali. +</P> + +<P> +And Ali came, mostly on foot, from the country of Persia, and it took +him a year to come; but when he came he was welcome. +</P> + +<P> +And Shep told Ali what was the matter with England and Shooshan swore +that it was so, and Ali looking out of the window of the little shop +near Fleet Street beheld the ways of London and audibly blessed King +Solomon and his seal. +</P> + +<P> +When Shep and Shooshan heard the names of King Solomon and his seal +both asked, as they had scarcely dared before, if Ali had it. Ali +patted a little bundle of silks that he drew from his inner raiment. +It was there. +</P> + +<P> +Now concerning the movements and courses of the stars and the +influence on them of spirits of Earth and devils this age has been +rightly named by some The Second Age of Ignorance. But Ali knew. And +by watching nightly, for seven nights in Bagdad, the way of certain +stars he had found out the dwelling place of Him they Needed. +</P> + +<P> +Guided by Ali all three set forth for the Midlands. And by the +reverence that was manifest in the faces of Shep and Shooshan towards +the person of Ali, some knew what Ali carried, while others said that +it was the tablets of the Law, others the name of God, and others that +he must have a lot of money about him. So they passed Slod and Apton. +</P> + +<P> +And at last they came to the town for which Ali sought, that spot over +which he had seen the shy stars wheel and swerve away from their +orbits, being troubled. Verily when they came there were no stars, +though it was midnight. And Ali said that it was the appointed place. +In harems in Persia in the evening when the tales go round it is still +told how Ali and Shep and Shooshan came to the Black country. +</P> + +<P> +When it was dawn they looked upon the country and saw how it was +without doubt the appointed place, even as Ali had said, for the earth +had been taken out of pits and burned and left lying in heaps, and +there were many factories, and they stood over the town and as it were +rejoiced. And with one voice Shep and Shooshan gave praise to Ali. +</P> + +<P> +And Ali said that the great ones of the place must needs be gathered +together, and to this end Shep and Shooshan went into the town and +there spoke craftily. For they said that Ali had of his wisdom +contrived as it were a patent and a novelty which should greatly +benefit England. And when they heard how he sought nothing for his +novelty save only to benefit mankind they consented to speak with Ali +and see his novelty. And they came forth and met Ali. +</P> + +<P> +And Ali spake and said unto them: "O lords of this place; in the book +that all men know it is written how that a fisherman casting his net +into the sea drew up a bottle of brass, and when he took the stopper +from the bottle a dreadful genie of horrible aspect rose from the +bottle, as it were like a smoke, even to darkening the sky, whereat +the fisherman..." And the great ones of that place said: "We have +heard the story." And Ali said: "What became of that genie after he +was safely thrown back into the sea is not properly spoken of by any +save those that pursue the study of demons and not with certainty by +any man, but that the stopper that bore the ineffable seal and bears +it to this day became separate from the bottle is among those things +that man may know." And when there was doubt among the great ones Ali +drew forth his bundle and one by one removed those many silks till the +seal stood revealed; and some of them knew it for the seal and others +knew it not. +</P> + +<P> +And they looked curiously at it and listened to Ali, and Ali said: +</P> + +<P> +"Having heard how evil is the case of England, how a smoke has +darkened the country, and in places (as men say) the grass is black, +and how even yet your factories multiply, and haste and noise have +become such that men have no time for song, I have therefore come at +the bidding of my good friend Shooshan, barber of London, and of Shep, +a maker of teeth, to make things well with you." +</P> + +<P> +And they said: "But where is your patent and your novelty?" +</P> + +<P> +And Ali said: "Have I not here the stopper and on it, as good men +know, the ineffable seal? Now I have learned in Persia how that your +trains that make the haste, and hurry men to and fro, and your +factories and the digging of your pits and all the things that are +evil are everyone of them caused and brought about by steam." +</P> + +<P> +"Is it not so?" said Shooshan. +</P> + +<P> +"It is even so," said Shep. +</P> + +<P> +"Now it is clear," said Ali, "that the chief devil that vexes England +and has done all this harm, who herds men into cities and will not let +them rest, is even the devil Steam." +</P> + +<P> +Then the great ones would have rebuked him but one said: "No, let us +hear him, perhaps his patent may improve on steam." +</P> + +<P> +And to them hearkening Ali went on thus: "O Lords of this place, let +there be made a bottle of strong steel, for I have no bottle with my +stopper, and this being done let all the factories, trains, digging of +pits, and all evil things soever that may be done by steam be stopped +for seven days, and the men that tend them shall go free, but the +steel bottle for my stopper I will leave open in a likely place. Now +that chief devil, Steam, finding no factories to enter into, nor no +trains, sirens nor pits prepared for him, and being curious and +accustomed to steel pots, will verily enter one night into the bottle +that you shall make for my stopper, and I shall spring forth from my +hiding with my stopper and fasten him down with the ineffable seal +which is the seal of King Solomon and deliver him up to you that you +cast him into the sea." +</P> + +<P> +And the great ones answered Ali and they said: "But what should we +gain if we lose our prosperity and be no longer rich?" +</P> + +<P> +And Ali said: "When we have cast this devil into the sea there will +come back again the woods and ferns and all the beautiful things that +the world hath, the little leaping hares shall be seen at play, there +shall be music on the hills again, and at twilight ease and quiet and +after the twilight stars." +</P> + +<P> +And "Verily," said Shooshan, "there shall be the dance again." +</P> + +<P> +"Aye," said Shep, "there shall be the country dance." +</P> + +<P> +But the great ones spake and said, denying Ali: "We will make no such +bottle for your stopper nor stop our healthy factories or good trains, +nor cease from our digging of pits nor do anything that you desire, +for an interference with steam would strike at the roots of that +prosperity that you see so plentifully all around us." +</P> + +<P> +Thus they dismissed Ali there and then from that place where the earth +was torn up and burnt, being taken out of pits, and where factories +blazed all night with a demoniac glare; and they dismissed with him +both Shooshan, the barber, and Shep, the maker of teeth: so that a +week later Ali started from Calais on his long walk back to Persia. +</P> + +<P> +And all this happened thirty years ago, and Shep is an old man now and +Shooshan older, and many mouths have bit with the teeth of Shep (for +he has a knack of getting them back whenever his customers die), and +they have written again to Ali away in the country of Persia with +these words, saying: +</P> + +<P> +"O Ali. The devil has indeed begotten a devil, even that spirit +Petrol. And the young devil waxeth, and increaseth in lustihood and is +ten years old and becoming like to his father. Come therefore and help +us with the ineffable seal. For there is none like Ali." +</P> + +<P> +And Ali turns where his slaves scatter rose-leaves, letting the letter +fall, and deeply draws from his hookah a puff of the scented smoke, +right down into his lungs, and sighs it forth and smiles, and lolling +round on to his other elbow speaks comfortably and says, "And shall a +man go twice to the help of a dog?" +</P> + +<P> +And with these words he thinks no more of England but ponders again +the inscrutable ways of God. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="bureau"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Bureau d'Echange de Maux +</H3> + +<P> +I often think of the Bureau d'Echange de Maux and the wondrously evil +old man that sate therein. It stood in a little street that there is +in Paris, its doorway made of three brown beams of wood, the top one +overlapping the others like the Greek letter <I>pi</I>, all the rest +painted green, a house far lower and narrower than its neighbours and +infinitely stranger, a thing to take one's fancy. And over the doorway +on the old brown beam in faded yellow letters this legend ran, Bureau +Universel d'Echanges de Maux. +</P> + +<P> +I entered at once and accosted the listless man that lolled on a stool +by his counter. I demanded the wherefore of his wonderful house, what +evil wares he exchanged, with many other things that I wished to know, +for curiosity led me; and indeed had it not I had gone at once from +that shop, for there was so evil a look in that fattened man, in the +hang of his fallen cheeks and his sinful eye, that you would have said +he had had dealings with Hell and won the advantage by sheer +wickedness. +</P> + +<P> +Such a man was mine host; but above all the evil of him lay in his +eyes, which lay so still, so apathetic, that you would have sworn that +he was drugged or dead; like lizards motionless on a wall they lay, +then suddenly they darted, and all his cunning flamed up and revealed +itself in what one moment before seemed no more than a sleepy and +ordinary wicked old man. And this was the object and trade of that +peculiar shop, the Bureau Universel d'Echange de Maux: you paid twenty +francs, which the old man proceeded to take from me, for admission to +the bureau and then had the right to exchange any evil or misfortune +with anyone on the premises for some evil or misfortune that he "could +afford," as the old man put it. +</P> + +<P> +There were four or five men in the dingy ends of that low-ceilinged +room who gesticulated and muttered softly in twos as men who make a +bargain, and now and then more came in, and the eyes of the flabby +owner of the house leaped up at them as they entered, seemed to know +their errands at once and each one's peculiar need, and fell back +again into somnolence, receiving his twenty francs in an almost +lifeless hand and biting the coin as though in pure absence of mind. +</P> + +<P> +"Some of my clients," he told me. So amazing to me was the trade of +this extraordinary shop that I engaged the old man in conversation, +repulsive though he was, and from his garrulity I gathered these +facts. He spoke in perfect English though his utterance was somewhat +thick and heavy; no language seemed to come amiss to him. He had been +in business a great many years, how many he would not say, and was far +older than he looked. All kinds of people did business in his shop. +What they exchanged with each other he did not care except that it had +to be evils, he was not empowered to carry on any other kind of +business. +</P> + +<P> +There was no evil, he told me, that was not negotiable there; no evil +the old man knew had ever been taken away in despair from his shop. A +man might have to wait and come back again next day, and next day and +the day after, paying twenty francs each time, but the old man had the +addresses of all his clients and shrewdly knew their needs, and soon +the right two met and eagerly exchanged their commodities. +"Commodities" was the old man's terrible word, said with a gruesome +smack of his heavy lips, for he took a pride in his business and evils +to him were goods. +</P> + +<P> +I learned from him in ten minutes very much of human nature, more than +I have ever learned from any other man; I learned from him that a +man's own evil is to him the worst thing there is or ever could be, +and that an evil so unbalances all men's minds that they always seek +for extremes in that small grim shop. A woman that had no children had +exchanged with an impoverished half-maddened creature with twelve. On +one occasion a man had exchanged wisdom for folly. +</P> + +<P> +"Why on earth did he do that?" I said. +</P> + +<P> +"None of my business," the old man answered in his heavy indolent way. +He merely took his twenty francs from each and ratified the agreement +in the little room at the back opening out of the shop where his +clients do business. Apparently the man that had parted with wisdom +had left the shop upon the tips of his toes with a happy though +foolish expression all over his face, but the other went thoughtfully +away wearing a troubled and very puzzled look. Almost always it seemed +they did business in opposite evils. +</P> + +<P> +But the thing that puzzled me most in all my talks with that unwieldy +man, the thing that puzzles me still, is that none that had once done +business in that shop ever returned again; a man might come day after +day for many weeks, but once do business and he never returned; so +much the old man told me, but when I asked him why, he only muttered +that he did not know. +</P> + +<P> +It was to discover the wherefore of this strange thing and for no +other reason at all that I determined myself to do business sooner or +later in the little room at the back of that mysterious shop. I +determined to exchange some very trivial evil for some evil equally +slight, to seek for myself an advantage so very small as scarcely to +give Fate as it were a grip, for I deeply distrusted these bargains, +knowing well that man has never yet benefited by the marvellous and +that the more miraculous his advantage appears to be the more securely +and tightly do the gods or the witches catch him. In a few days more I +was going back to England and I was beginning to fear that I should be +sea-sick: this fear of sea-sickness, not the actual malady but only +the mere fear of it, I decided to exchange for a suitably little evil. +I did not know with whom I should be dealing, who in reality was the +head of the firm (one never does when shopping) but I decided that +neither Jew nor Devil could make very much on so small a bargain as +that. +</P> + +<P> +I told the old man my project, and he scoffed at the smallness of my +commodity trying to urge me to some darker bargain, but could not move +me from my purpose. And then he told me tales with a somewhat boastful +air of the big business, the great bargains that had passed through +his hands. A man had once run in there to try and exchange death, he +had swallowed poison by accident and had only twelve hours to live. +That sinister old man had been able to oblige him. A client was +willing to exchange the commodity. +</P> + +<P> +"But what did he give in exchange for death?" I said. +</P> + +<P> +"Life," said that grim old man with a furtive chuckle. +</P> + +<P> +"It must have been a horrible life," I said. +</P> + +<P> +"That was not my affair," the proprietor said, lazily rattling +together as he spoke a little pocketful of twenty-franc pieces. +</P> + +<P> +Strange business I watched in that shop for the next few days, the +exchange of odd commodities, and heard strange mutterings in corners +amongst couples who presently rose and went to the back room, the old +man following to ratify. +</P> + +<P> +Twice a day for a week I paid my twenty francs, watching life with its +great needs and its little needs morning and afternoon spread out +before me in all its wonderful variety. +</P> + +<P> +And one day I met a comfortable man with only a little need, he seemed +to have the very evil I wanted. He always feared the lift was going to +break. I knew too much of hydraulics to fear things as silly as that, +but it was not my business to cure his ridiculous fear. Very few words +were needed to convince him that mine was the evil for him, he never +crossed the sea, and I on the other hand could always walk upstairs, +and I also felt at the time, as many must feel in that shop, that so +absurd a fear could never trouble me. And yet at times it is almost +the curse of my life. When we both had signed the parchment in the +spidery back room and the old man had signed and ratified (for which +we had to pay him fifty francs each) I went back to my hotel, and +there I saw the deadly thing in the basement. They asked me if I would +go upstairs in the lift, from force of habit I risked it, and I held +my breath all the way and clenched my hands. Nothing will induce me to +try such a journey again. I would sooner go up to my room in a +balloon. And why? Because if a balloon goes wrong you have a chance, +it may spread out into a parachute after it has burst, it may catch in +a tree, a hundred and one things may happen, but if the lift falls +down its shaft you are done. As for sea-sickness I shall never be sick +again, I cannot tell you why except that I know that it is so. +</P> + +<P> +And the shop in which I made this remarkable bargain, the shop to +which none return when their business is done: I set out for it next +day. Blindfold I could have found my way to the unfashionable quarter +out of which a mean street runs, where you take the alley at the end, +whence runs the cul de sac where the queer shop stood. A shop with +pillars, fluted and painted red, stands on its near side, its other +neighbour is a low-class jeweller's with little silver brooches in the +window. In such incongruous company stood the shop with beams with its +walls painted green. +</P> + +<P> +In half an hour I found the cul de sac to which I had gone twice a day +for the last week, I found the shop with the ugly painted pillars and +the jeweller that sold brooches, but the green house with the three +beams was gone. +</P> + +<P> +Pulled down, you will say, although in a single night. That can never +be the answer to the mystery, for the house of the fluted pillars +painted on plaster and the low-class jeweller's shop with its silver +brooches (all of which I could identify one by one) were standing side +by side. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="story"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A Story of Land and Sea +</H3> + +<P> +It is written in the first Book of Wonder how Captain Shard of the bad +ship Desperate Lark, having looted the sea-coast city Bombasharna, +retired from active life; and resigning piracy to younger men, with +the good will of the North and South Atlantic, settled down with a +captured queen on his floating island. +</P> + +<P> +Sometimes he sank a ship for the sake of old times but he no longer +hovered along the trade-routes; and timid merchants watched for other +men. +</P> + +<P> +It was not age that caused him to leave his romantic profession; nor +unworthiness of its traditions, nor gun-shot wound, nor drink; but +grim necessity and force majeure. Five navies were after him. How he +gave them the slip one day in the Mediterranean, how he fought with +the Arabs, how a ship's broadside was heard in Lat. 23 N. Long. 4 E. +for the first time and the last, with other things unknown to +Admiralties, I shall proceed to tell. +</P> + +<P> +He had had his fling, had Shard, captain of pirates, and all his merry +men wore pearls in their ear-rings; and now the English fleet was +after him under full sail along the coast of Spain with a good North +wind behind them. They were not gaining much on Shard's rakish craft, +the bad ship Desperate Lark, yet they were closer than was to his +liking, and they interfered with business. +</P> + +<P> +For a day and a night they had chased him, when off Cape St. Vincent +at about six a.m. Shard took that step that decided his retirement +from active life, he turned for the Mediterranean. Had he held on +Southwards down the African coast it is doubtful whether in face of +the interference of England, Russia, France, Denmark and Spain, he +could have made piracy pay; but in turning for the Mediterranean he +took what we may call the penultimate step of his life which meant for +him settling down. There were three great courses of action invented +by Shard in his youth, upon which he pondered by day and brooded by +night, consolations in all his dangers, secret even from his men, +three means of escape as he hoped from any peril that might meet him +on the sea. One of these was the floating island that the Book of +Wonder tells of, another was so fantastic that we may doubt if even +the brilliant audacity of Shard could ever have found it practicable, +at least he never tried it so far as is known in that tavern by the +sea in which I glean my news, and the third he determined on carrying +out as he turned that morning for the Mediterranean. True he might yet +have practised piracy in spite of the step that he took, a little +later when the seas grew quiet, but that penultimate step was like +that small house in the country that the business man has his eye on, +like some snug investment put away for old age, there are certain +final courses in men's lives which after taking they never go back to +business. +</P> + +<P> +He turned then for the Mediterranean with the English fleet behind +him, and his men wondered. +</P> + +<P> +What madness was this,—muttered Bill the Boatswain in Old Frank's +only ear, with the French fleet waiting in the Gulf of Lyons and the +Spaniards all the way between Sardinia and Tunis: for they knew the +Spaniards' ways. And they made a deputation and waited upon Captain +Shard, all of them sober and wearing their costly clothes, and they +said that the Mediterranean was a trap, and all he said was that the +North wind should hold. And the crew said they were done. +</P> + +<P> +So they entered the Mediterranean and the English fleet came up and +closed the straits. And Shard went tacking along the Moroccan coast +with a dozen frigates behind him. And the North wind grew in strength. +And not till evening did he speak to his crew, and then he gathered +them all together except the man at the helm, and politely asked them +to come down to the hold. And there he showed them six immense steel +axles and a dozen low iron wheels of enormous width which none had +seen before; and he told his crew how all unknown to the world his +keel had been specially fitted for these same axles and wheels, and +how he meant soon to sail to the wide Atlantic again, though not by +the way of the straits. And when they heard the name of the Atlantic +all his merry men cheered, for they looked on the Atlantic as a wide +safe sea. +</P> + +<P> +And night came down and Captain Shard sent for his diver. With the sea +getting up it was hard work for the diver, but by midnight things were +done to Shard's satisfaction, and the diver said that of all the jobs +he had done—but finding no apt comparison, and being in need of a +drink, silence fell on him and soon sleep, and his comrades carried +him away to his hammock. All the next day the chase went on with the +English well in sight, for Shard had lost time overnight with his +wheels and axles, and the danger of meeting the Spaniards increased +every hour; and evening came when every minute seemed dangerous, yet +they still went tacking on towards the East where they knew the +Spaniards must be. +</P> + +<P> +And at last they sighted their topsails right ahead, and still Shard +went on. It was a close thing, but night was coming on, and the Union +Jack which he hoisted helped Shard with the Spaniards for the last few +anxious minutes, though it seemed to anger the English, but as Shard +said, "There's no pleasing everyone," and then the twilight shivered +into darkness. +</P> + +<P> +"Hard to starboard," said Captain Shard. +</P> + +<P> +The North wind which had risen all day was now blowing a gale. I do +not know what part of the coast Shard steered for, but Shard knew, for +the coasts of the world were to him what Margate is to some of us. +</P> + +<P> +At a place where the desert rolling up from mystery and from death, +yea, from the heart of Africa, emerges upon the sea, no less grand +than her, no less terrible, even there they sighted the land quite +close, almost in darkness. Shard ordered every man to the hinder part +of the ship and all the ballast too; and soon the Desperate Lark, her +prow a little high out of the water, doing her eighteen knots before +the wind, struck a sandy beach and shuddered, she heeled over a +little, then righted herself, and slowly headed into the interior of +Africa. +</P> + +<P> +The men would have given three cheers, but after the first Shard +silenced them and, steering the ship himself, he made them a short +speech while the broad wheels pounded slowly over the African sand, +doing barely five knots in a gale. The perils of the sea he said had +been greatly exaggerated. Ships had been sailing the sea for hundreds +of years and at sea you knew what to do, but on land this was +different. They were on land now and they were not to forget it. At +sea you might make as much noise as you pleased and no harm was done, +but on land anything might happen. One of the perils of the land that +he instanced was that of hanging. For every hundred men that they hung +on land, he said, not more than twenty would be hung at sea. The men +were to sleep at their guns. They would not go far that night; for the +risk of being wrecked at night was another danger peculiar to the +land, while at sea you might sail from set of sun till dawn: yet it +was essential to get out of sight of the sea for if anyone knew they +were there they'd have cavalry after them. And he had sent back +Smerdrak (a young lieutenant of pirates) to cover their tracks where +they came up from the sea. And the merry men vigorously nodded their +heads though they did not dare to cheer, and presently Smerdrak came +running up and they threw him a rope by the stern. And when they had +done fifteen knots they anchored, and Captain Shard gathered his men +about him and, standing by the land-wheel in the bows, under the large +and clear Algerian stars, he explained his system of steering. There +was not much to be said for it, he had with considerable ingenuity +detached and pivoted the portion of the keel that held the leading +axle and could move it by chains which were controlled from the +land-wheel, thus the front pair of wheels could be deflected at will, +but only very slightly, and they afterwards found that in a hundred +yards they could only turn their ship four yards from her course. But +let not captains of comfortable battleships, or owners even of yachts, +criticise too harshly a man who was not of their time and who knew not +modern contrivances; it should be remembered also that Shard was no +longer at sea. His steering may have been clumsy but he did what he +could. +</P> + +<P> +When the use and limitations of his land-wheel had been made clear to +his men, Shard bade them all turn in except those on watch. Long +before dawn he woke them and by the very first gleam of light they got +their ship under way, so that when those two fleets that had made so +sure of Shard closed in like a great crescent on the Algerian coast +there was no sign to see of the Desperate Lark either on sea or land; +and the flags of the Admiral's ship broke out into a hearty English +oath. +</P> + +<P> +The gale blew for three days and, Shard using more sail by daylight, +they scudded over the sands at little less than ten knots, though on +the report of rough water ahead (as the lookout man called rocks, low +hills or uneven surface before he adapted himself to his new +surroundings) the rate was much decreased. Those were long summer days +and Shard who was anxious while the wind held good to outpace the +rumour of his own appearance sailed for nineteen hours a day, lying to +at ten in the evening and hoisting sail again at three a.m. when it +first began to be light. +</P> + +<P> +In those three days he did five hundred miles; then the wind dropped +to a breeze though it still blew from the North, and for a week they +did no more than two knots an hour. The merry men began to murmur +then. Luck had distinctly favoured Shard at first for it sent him at +ten knots through the only populous districts well ahead of crowds +except those who chose to run, and the cavalry were away on a local +raid. As for the runners they soon dropped off when Shard pointed his +cannon though he did not dare to fire, up there near the coast; for +much as he jeered at the intelligence of the English and Spanish +Admirals in not suspecting his manoeuvre, the only one as he said that +was possible in the circumstances, yet he knew that cannon had an +obvious sound which would give his secret away to the weakest mind. +Certainly luck had befriended him, and when it did so no longer he +made out of the occasion all that could be made; for instance while +the wind held good he had never missed opportunities to revictual, if +he passed by a village its pigs and poultry were his, and whenever he +passed by water he filled his tanks to the brim, and now that he could +only do two knots he sailed all night with a man and a lantern before +him: thus in that week he did close on four hundred miles while +another man would have anchored at night and have missed five or six +hours out of the twenty-four. Yet his men murmured. Did he think the +wind would last for ever, they said. And Shard only smoked. It was +clear that he was thinking, and thinking hard. "But what is he +thinking about?" said Bill to Bad Jack. And Bad Jack answered: "He may +think as hard as he likes but thinking won't get us out of the Sahara +if this wind were to drop." +</P> + +<P> +And towards the end of that week Shard went to his chart-room and laid +a new course for his ship a little to the East and towards +cultivation. And one day towards evening they sighted a village, and +twilight came and the wind dropped altogether. Then the murmurs of the +merry men grew to oaths and nearly to mutiny. "Where were they now?" +they asked, and were they being treated like poor honest men? +</P> + +<P> +Shard quieted them by asking what they wished to do themselves and +when no one had any better plan than going to the villagers and saying +that they had been blown out of their course by a storm, Shard +unfolded his scheme to them. Long ago he had heard how they drove +carts with oxen in Africa, oxen were very numerous in these parts +wherever there was any cultivation, and for this reason when the wind +had begun to drop he had laid his course for the village: that night +the moment it was dark they were to drive off fifty yoke of oxen; by +midnight they must all be yoked to the bows and then away they would +go at a good round gallop. +</P> + +<P> +So fine a plan as this astonished the men and they all apologised for +their want of faith in Shard, shaking hands with him every one and +spitting on their hands before they did so in token of good will. +</P> + +<P> +The raid that night succeeded admirably, but ingenious as Shard was on +land, and a past-master at sea, yet it must be admitted that lack of +experience in this class of seamanship led him to make a mistake, a +slight one it is true, and one that a little practice would have +prevented altogether: the oxen could not gallop. Shard swore at them, +threatened them with his pistol, said they should have no food, and +all to no avail: that night and as long as they pulled the bad ship +Desperate Lark they did one knot an hour and no more. Shard's failures +like everything that came his way were used as stones in the edifice +of his future success, he went at once to his chart-room and worked +out all his calculations anew. +</P> + +<P> +The matter of the oxen's pace made pursuit impossible to avoid. Shard +therefore countermanded his order to his lieutenant to cover the +tracks in the sand, and the Desperate Lark plodded on into the Sahara +on her new course trusting to her guns. +</P> + +<P> +The village was not a large one and the little crowd that was sighted +astern next morning disappeared after the first shot from the cannon +in the stern. At first Shard made the oxen wear rough iron bits, +another of his mistakes, and strong bits too. "For if they run away," +he had said, "we might as well be driving before a gale and there's no +saying where we'd find ourselves," but after a day or two he found +that the bits were no good and, like the practical man he was, +immediately corrected his mistake. +</P> + +<P> +And now the crew sang merry songs all day bringing out mandolins and +clarionets and cheering Captain Shard. All were jolly except the +captain himself whose face was moody and perplexed; he alone expected +to hear more of those villagers; and the oxen were drinking up the +water every day, he alone feared that there was no more to be had, and +a very unpleasant fear that is when your ship is becalmed in a desert. +For over a week they went on like this doing ten knots a day and the +music and singing got on the captain's nerves, but he dared not tell +his men what the trouble was. And then one day the oxen drank up the +last of the water. And Lieutenant Smerdrak came and reported the fact. +</P> + +<P> +"Give them rum," said Shard, and he cursed the oxen. "What is good +enough for me," he said, "should be good enough for them," and he +swore that they should have rum. +</P> + +<P> +"Aye, aye, sir," said the young lieutenant of pirates. +</P> + +<P> +Shard should not be judged by the orders he gave that day, for nearly +a fortnight he had watched the doom that was coming slowly towards +him, discipline cut him off from anyone that might have shared his +fear and discussed it, and all the while he had had to navigate his +ship, which even at sea is an arduous responsibility. These things had +fretted the calm of that clear judgment that had once baffled five +navies. Therefore he cursed the oxen and ordered them rum, and +Smerdrak had said "Aye, aye, sir," and gone below. +</P> + +<P> +Towards sunset Shard was standing on the poop, thinking of death; it +would not come to him by thirst; mutiny first, he thought. The oxen +were refusing rum for the last time, and the men were beginning to eye +Captain Shard in a very ominous way, not muttering, but each man +looking at him with a sidelong look of the eye as though there were +only one thought among them all that had no need of words. A score of +geese like a long letter "V" were crossing the evening sky, they +slanted their necks and all went twisting downwards somewhere about +the horizon. Captain Shard rushed to his chart-room, and presently the +men came in at the door with Old Frank in front looking awkward and +twisting his cap in his hand. +</P> + +<P> +"What is it?" said Shard as though nothing were wrong. +</P> + +<P> +Then Old Frank said what he had come to say: "We want to know what you +be going to do." +</P> + +<P> +And the men nodded grimly. +</P> + +<P> +"Get water for the oxen," said Captain Shard, "as the swine won't have +rum, and they'll have to work for it, the lazy beasts. Up anchor!" +</P> + +<P> +And at the word water a look came into their faces like when some +wanderer suddenly thinks of home. +</P> + +<P> +"Water!" they said. +</P> + +<P> +"Why not?" said Captain Shard. And none of them ever knew that but for +those geese, that slanted their necks and suddenly twisted downwards, +they would have found no water that night nor ever after, and the +Sahara would have taken them as she has taken so many and shall take +so many more. All that night they followed their new course: at dawn +they found an oasis and the oxen drank. +</P> + +<P> +And here, on this green acre or so with its palm-trees and its well, +beleaguered by thousands of miles of desert and holding out through +the ages, here they decided to stay: for those who have been without +water for a while in one of Africa's deserts come to have for that +simple fluid such a regard as you, O reader, might not easily credit. +And here each man chose a site where he would build his hut, and +settle down, and marry perhaps, and even forget the sea; when Captain +Shard having filled his tanks and barrels peremptorily ordered them to +weigh anchor. There was much dissatisfaction, even some grumbling, but +when a man has twice saved his fellows from death by the sheer +freshness of his mind they come to have a respect for his judgment +that is not shaken by trifles. It must be remembered that in the +affair of the dropping of the wind and again when they ran out of +water these men were at their wits' end: so was Shard on the last +occasion, but that they did not know. All this Shard knew, and he +chose this occasion to strengthen the reputation that he had in the +minds of the men of that bad ship by explaining to them his motives, +which usually he kept secret. The oasis he said must be a port of call +for all the travellers within hundreds of miles: how many men did you +see gathered together in any part of the world where there was a drop +of whiskey to be had! And water here was rarer than whiskey in decent +countries and, such was the peculiarity of the Arabs, even more +precious. Another thing he pointed out to them, the Arabs were a +singularly inquisitive people and if they came upon a ship in the +desert they would probably talk about it; and the world having a +wickedly malicious tongue would never construe in its proper light +their difference with the English and Spanish fleets, but would merely +side with the strong against the weak. +</P> + +<P> +And the men sighed, and sang the capstan song and hoisted the anchor +and yoked the oxen up, and away they went doing their steady knot, +which nothing could increase. It may be thought strange that with all +sail furled in dead calm and while the oxen rested they should have +cast anchor at all. But custom is not easily overcome and long +survives its use. Rather enquire how many such useless customs we +ourselves preserve: the flaps for instance to pull up the tops of +hunting-boots though the tops no longer pull up, the bows on our +evening shoes that neither tie nor untie. They said they felt safer +that way and there was an end of it. +</P> + +<P> +Shard lay a course of South by West and they did ten knots that day, +the next day they did seven or eight and Shard hove to. Here he +intended to stop, they had huge supplies of fodder on board for the +oxen, for his men he had a pig or so, plenty of poultry, several sacks +of biscuits and ninety-eight oxen (for two were already eaten), and +they were only twenty miles from water. Here he said they would stay +till folks forgot their past, someone would invent something or some +new thing would turn up to take folks' minds off them and the ships he +had sunk: he forgot that there are men who are well paid to remember. +</P> + +<P> +Half way between him and the oasis he established a little depot where +he buried his water-barrels. As soon as a barrel was empty he sent +half a dozen men to roll it by turns to the depot. This they would do +at night, keeping hid by day, and next night they would push on to the +oasis, fill the barrel and roll it back. Thus only ten miles away he +soon had a store of water, unknown to the thirstiest native of Africa, +from which he could safely replenish his tanks at will. He allowed his +men to sing and even within reason to light fires. Those were jolly +nights while the rum held out; sometimes they saw gazelles watching +them curiously, sometimes a lion went by over the sand, the sound of +his roar added to their sense of the security of their ship; all round +them level, immense lay the Sahara: "This is better than an English +prison," said Captain Shard. +</P> + +<P> +And still the dead calm lasted, not even the sand whispered at night +to little winds; and when the rum gave out and it looked like trouble, +Shard reminded them what little use it had been to them when it was +all they had and the oxen wouldn't look at it. +</P> + +<P> +And the days wore on with singing, and even dancing at times, and at +nights round a cautious fire in a hollow of sand with only one man on +watch they told tales of the sea. It was all a relief after arduous +watches and sleeping by the guns, a rest to strained nerves and eyes; +and all agreed, for all that they missed their rum, that the best +place for a ship like theirs was the land. +</P> + +<P> +This was in Latitude 23 North, Longitude 4 East, where, as I have +said, a ship's broadside was heard for the first time and the last. It +happened this way. +</P> + +<P> +They had been there several weeks and had eaten perhaps ten or a dozen +oxen and all that while there had been no breath of wind and they had +seen no one: when one morning about two bells when the crew were at +breakfast the lookout man reported cavalry on the port side. Shard who +had already surrounded his ship with sharpened stakes ordered all his +men on board, the young trumpeter who prided himself on having picked +up the ways of the land, sounded "Prepare to receive cavalry". Shard +sent a few men below with pikes to the lower port-holes, two more +aloft with muskets, the rest to the guns, he changed the "grape" or +"canister" with which the guns were loaded in case of surprise, for +shot, cleared the decks, drew in ladders, and before the cavalry came +within range everything was ready for them. The oxen were always yoked +in order that Shard could manoeuvre his ship at a moment's notice. +</P> + +<P> +When first sighted the cavalry were trotting but they were coming on +now at a slow canter. Arabs in white robes on good horses. Shard +estimated that there were two or three hundred of them. At sixty yards +Shard opened with one gun, he had had the distance measured, but had +never practised for fear of being heard at the oasis: the shot went +high. The next one fell short and ricochetted over the Arabs' heads. +Shard had the range then and by the time the ten remaining guns of his +broadside were given the same elevation as that of his second gun the +Arabs had come to the spot where the last shot pitched. The broadside +hit the horses, mostly low, and ricochetted on amongst them; one +cannon-ball striking a rock at the horses' feet shattered it and sent +fragments flying amongst the Arabs with the peculiar scream of things +set free by projectiles from their motionless harmless state, and the +cannon-ball went on with them with a great howl, this shot alone +killed three men. +</P> + +<P> +"Very satisfactory," said Shard rubbing his chin. "Load with grape," +he added sharply. +</P> + +<P> +The broadside did not stop the Arabs nor even reduce their speed but +they crowded in closer together as though for company in their time of +danger, which they should not have done. They were four hundred yards +off now, three hundred and fifty; and then the muskets began, for the +two men in the crow's-nest had thirty loaded muskets besides a few +pistols, the muskets all stood round them leaning against the rail; +they picked them up and fired them one by one. Every shot told, but +still the Arabs came on. They were galloping now. It took some time to +load the guns in those days. Three hundred yards, two hundred and +fifty, men dropping all the way, two hundred yards; Old Frank for all +his one ear had terrible eyes; it was pistols now, they had fired all +their muskets; a hundred and fifty; Shard had marked the fifties with +little white stones. Old Frank and Bad Jack up aloft felt pretty +uneasy when they saw the Arabs had come to that little white stone, +they both missed their shots. +</P> + +<P> +"All ready?" said Captain Shard. +</P> + +<P> +"Aye, aye, sir," said Smerdrak. +</P> + +<P> +"Right," said Captain Shard raising a finger. +</P> + +<P> +A hundred and fifty yards is a bad range at which to be caught by +grape (or "case" as we call it now), the gunners can hardly miss and +the charge has time to spread. Shard estimated afterwards that he got +thirty Arabs by that broadside alone and as many horses. +</P> + +<P> +There were close on two hundred of them still on their horses, yet the +broadside of grape had unsettled them, they surged round the ship but +seemed doubtful what to do. They carried swords and scimitars in their +hands, though most had strange long muskets slung behind them, a few +unslung them and began firing wildly. They could not reach Shard's +merry men with their swords. Had it not been for that broadside that +took them when it did they might have climbed up from their horses and +carried the bad ship by sheer force of numbers, but they would have +had to have been very steady, and the broadside spoiled all that. +Their best course was to have concentrated all their efforts in +setting fire to the ship but this they did not attempt. Part of them +swarmed all round the ship brandishing their swords and looking vainly +for an easy entrance; perhaps they expected a door, they were not +sea-faring people; but their leaders were evidently set on driving off +the oxen not dreaming that the Desperate Lark had other means of +travelling. And this to some extent they succeeded in doing. Thirty +they drove off, cutting the traces, twenty they killed on the spot +with their scimitars though the bow gun caught them twice as they did +their work, and ten more were unluckily killed by Shard's bow gun. +Before they could fire a third time from the bows they all galloped +away, firing back at the oxen with their muskets and killing three +more, and what troubled Shard more than the loss of his oxen was the +way that they manoeuvred, galloping off just when the bow gun was +ready and riding off by the port bow where the broadside could not get +them, which seemed to him to show more knowledge of guns than they +could have learned on that bright morning. What, thought Shard to +himself, if they should bring big guns against the Desperate Lark! And +the mere thought of it made him rail at Fate. But the merry men all +cheered when they rode away. Shard had only twenty-two oxen left, and +then a score or so of the Arabs dismounted while the rest rode further +on leading their horses. And the dismounted men lay down on the port +bow behind some rocks two hundred yards away and began to shoot at the +oxen. Shard had just enough of them left to manoeuvre his ship with an +effort and he turned his ship a few points to the starboard so as to +get a broadside at the rocks. But grape was of no use here as the only +way he could get an Arab was by hitting one of the rocks with shot +behind which an Arab was lying, and the rocks were not easy to hit +except by chance, and as often as he manoeuvred his ship the Arabs +changed their ground. This went on all day while the mounted Arabs +hovered out of range watching what Shard would do; and all the while +the oxen were growing fewer, so good a mark were they, until only ten +were left, and the ship could manoeuvre no longer. But then they all +rode off. +</P> + +<P> +The merry men were delighted, they calculated that one way and another +they had unhorsed a hundred Arabs and on board there had been no more +than one man wounded: Bad Jack had been hit in the wrist; probably by +a bullet meant for the men at the guns, for the Arabs were firing +high. They had captured a horse and had found quaint weapons on the +bodies of the dead Arabs and an interesting kind of tobacco. It was +evening now and they talked over the fight, made jokes about their +luckier shots, smoked their new tobacco and sang; altogether it was +the jolliest evening they'd had. But Shard alone on the quarter-deck +paced to and fro pondering, brooding and wondering. He had chopped off +Bad Jack's wounded hand and given him a hook out of store, for captain +does doctor upon these occasions and Shard, who was ready for most +things, kept half a dozen or so of neat new limbs, and of course a +chopper. Bad Jack had gone below swearing a little and said he'd lie +down for a bit, the men were smoking and singing on the sand, and +Shard was there alone. The thought that troubled Shard was: what would +the Arabs do? They did not look like men to go away for nothing. And +at back of all his thoughts was one that reiterated guns, guns, guns. +He argued with himself that they could not drag them all that way on +the sand, that the Desperate Lark was not worth it, that they had +given it up. Yet he knew in his heart that that was what they would +do. He knew there were fortified towns in Africa, and as for its being +worth it, he knew that there was no pleasant thing left now to those +defeated men except revenge, and if the Desperate Lark had come over +the sand why not guns? He knew that the ship could never hold out +against guns and cavalry, a week perhaps, two weeks, even three: what +difference did it make how long it was, and the men sang: +</P> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + Away we go, Oho, Oho, Oho,<BR> + A drop of rum for you and me<BR> + And the world's as round as the letter O<BR> + And round it runs the sea.<BR> +</P> + +<P> +A melancholy settled down on Shard. +</P> + +<P> +About sunset Lieutenant Smerdrak came up for orders. Shard ordered a +trench to be dug along the port side of the ship. The men wanted to +sing and grumbled at having to dig, especially as Shard never +mentioned his fear of guns, but he fingered his pistols and in the end +Shard had his way. No one on board could shoot like Captain Shard. +That is often the way with captains of pirate ships, it is a difficult +position to hold. Discipline is essential to those that have the right +to fly the skull-and-cross-bones, and Shard was the man to enforce it. +It was starlight by the time the trench was dug to the captain's +satisfaction and the men that it was to protect when the worst came to +the worst swore all the time as they dug. And when it was finished +they clamoured to make a feast on some of the killed oxen, and this +Shard let them do. And they lit a huge fire for the first time, +burning abundant scrub, they thinking that Arabs daren't return, Shard +knowing that concealment was now useless. All that night they feasted +and sang, and Shard sat up in his chart-room making his plans. +</P> + +<P> +When morning came they rigged up the cutter as they called the +captured horse and told off her crew. As there were only two men that +could ride at all these became the crew of the cutter. Spanish Dick +and Bill the Boatswain were the two. +</P> + +<P> +Shard's orders were that turn and turn about they should take command +of the cutter and cruise about five miles off to the North East all +the day but at night they were to come in. And they fitted the horse +up with a flagstaff in front of the saddle so that they could signal +from her, and carried an anchor behind for fear she should run away. +</P> + +<P> +And as soon as Spanish Dick had ridden off Shard sent some men to roll +all the barrels back from the depot where they were buried in the +sand, with orders to watch the cutter all the time and, if she +signalled, to return as fast as they could. +</P> + +<P> +They buried the Arabs that day, removing their water-bottles and any +provisions they had, and that night they got all the water-barrels in, +and for days nothing happened. One event of extraordinary importance +did indeed occur, the wind got up one day, but it was due South, and +as the oasis lay to the North of them and beyond that they might pick +up the camel track Shard decided to stay where he was. If it had +looked to him like lasting Shard might have hoisted sail but it it +dropped at evening as he knew it would, and in any case it was not the +wind he wanted. And more days went by, two weeks without a breeze. The +dead oxen would not keep and they had had to kill three more, there +were only seven left now. +</P> + +<P> +Never before had the men been so long without rum. And Captain Shard +had doubled the watch besides making two more men sleep at the guns. +They had tired of their simple games, and most of their songs, and +their tales that were never true were no longer new. And then one day +the monotony of the desert came down upon them. +</P> + +<P> +There is a fascination in the Sahara, a day there is delightful, a +week is pleasant, a fortnight is a matter of opinion, but it was +running into months. The men were perfectly polite but the boatswain +wanted to know when Shard thought of moving on. It was an unreasonable +question to ask of the captain of any ship in a dead calm in a desert, +but Shard said he would set a course and let him know in a day or two. +And a day or two went by over the monotony of the Sahara, who for +monotony is unequalled by all the parts of the earth. Great marshes +cannot equal it, nor plains of grass nor the sea, the Sahara alone +lies unaltered by the seasons, she has no altering surface, no flowers +to fade or grow, year in year out she is changeless for hundreds and +hundreds of miles. And the boatswain came again and took off his cap +and asked Captain Shard to be so kind as to tell them about his new +course. Shard said he meant to stay until they had eaten three more of +the oxen as they could only take three of them in the hold, there were +only six left now. But what if there was no wind, the boatswain said. +And at that moment the faintest breeze from the North ruffled the +boatswain's forelock as he stood with his cap in his hand. +</P> + +<P> +"Don't talk about the wind to <I>me</I>," said Captain Shard: and Bill was +a little frightened for Shard's mother had been a gipsy. +</P> + +<P> +But it was only a breeze astray, a trick of the Sahara. And another +week went by and they ate two more oxen. +</P> + +<P> +They obeyed Captain Shard ostentatiously now but they wore ominous +looks. Bill came again and Shard answered him in Romany. +</P> + +<P> +Things were like this one hot Sahara morning when the cutter +signalled. The lookout man told Shard and Shard read the message, +"Cavalry astern" it read, and then a little later she signalled, "With +guns." +</P> + +<P> +"Ah," said Captain Shard. +</P> + +<P> +One ray of hope Shard had; the flags on the cutter fluttered. For the +first time for five weeks a light breeze blew from the North, very +light, you hardly felt it. Spanish Dick rode in and anchored his horse +to starboard and the cavalry came on slowly from the port. +</P> + +<P> +Not till the afternoon did they come in sight, and all the while that +little breeze was blowing. +</P> + +<P> +"One knot," said Shard at noon. "Two knots," he said at six bells and +still it grew and the Arabs trotted nearer. By five o'clock the merry +men of the bad ship Desperate Lark could make out twelve long +old-fashioned guns on low wheeled carts dragged by horses and what +looked like lighter guns carried on camels. The wind was blowing a +little stronger now. "Shall we hoist sail, sir?" said Bill. +</P> + +<P> +"Not yet," said Shard. +</P> + +<P> +By six o'clock the Arabs were just outside the range of cannon and +there they halted. Then followed an anxious hour or so, but the Arabs +came no nearer. They evidently meant to wait till dark to bring their +guns up. Probably they intended to dig a gun epaulment from which they +could safely pound away at the ship. +</P> + +<P> +"We could do three knots," said Shard half to himself as he was +walking up and down his quarter-deck with very fast short paces. And +then the sun set and they heard the Arabs praying and Shard's merry +men cursed at the top of their voices to show that they were as good +men as they. +</P> + +<P> +The Arabs had come no nearer, waiting for night. They did not know how +Shard was longing for it too, he was gritting his teeth and sighing +for it, he even would have prayed, but that he feared that it might +remind Heaven of him and his merry men. +</P> + +<P> +Night came and the stars. "Hoist sail," said Shard. The men sprang to +their places, they had had enough of that silent lonely spot. They +took the oxen on board and let the great sails down, and like a lover +coming from over sea, long dreamed of, long expected, like a lost +friend seen again after many years, the North wind came into the +pirates' sails. And before Shard could stop it a ringing English cheer +went away to the wondering Arabs. +</P> + +<P> +They started off at three knots and soon they might have done four but +Shard would not risk it at night. All night the wind held good, and +doing three knots from ten to four they were far out of sight of the +Arabs when daylight came. And then Shard hoisted more sail and they +did four knots and by eight bells they were doing four and a half. The +spirits of those volatile men rose high, and discipline became +perfect. So long as there was wind in the sails and water in the tanks +Captain Shard felt safe at least from mutiny. Great men can only be +overthrown while their fortunes are at their lowest. Having failed to +depose Shard when his plans were open to criticism and he himself +scarce knew what to do next it was hardly likely they could do it now; +and whatever we think of his past and his way of living we cannot deny +that Shard was among the great men of the world. +</P> + +<P> +Of defeat by the Arabs he did not feel so sure. It was useless to try +to cover his tracks even if he had had time, the Arab cavalry could +have picked them up anywhere. And he was afraid of their camels with +those light guns on board, he had heard they could do seven knots and +keep it up most of the day and if as much as one shot struck the +mainmast... and Shard taking his mind off useless fears worked out on +his chart when the Arabs were likely to overtake them. He told his men +that the wind would hold good for a week, and, gipsy or no, he +certainly knew as much about the wind as is good for a sailor to know. +</P> + +<P> +Alone in his chart-room he worked it out like this, mark two hours to +the good for surprise and finding the tracks and delay in starting, +say three hours if the guns were mounted in their epaulments, then the +Arabs should start at seven. Supposing the camels go twelve hours a +day at seven knots they would do eighty-four knots a day, while Shard +doing three knots from ten to four, and four knots the rest of the +time, was doing ninety and actually gaining. But when it came to it he +wouldn't risk more than two knots at night while the enemy were out of +sight, for he rightly regarded anything more than that as dangerous +when sailing on land at night, so he too did eighty-four knots a day. +It was a pretty race. I have not troubled to see if Shard added up his +figures wrongly or if he under-rated the pace of camels, but whatever +it was the Arabs gained slightly, for on the fourth day Spanish Jack, +five knots astern on what they called the cutter, sighted the camels a +very long way off and signalled the fact to Shard. They had left their +cavalry behind as Shard supposed they would. The wind held good, they +had still two oxen left and could always eat their "cutter", and they +had a fair, though not ample, supply of water, but the appearance of +the Arabs was a blow to Shard for it showed him that there was no +getting away from them, and of all things he dreaded guns. He made +light of it to the men: said they would sink the lot before they had +been in action half an hour: yet he feared that once the guns came up +it was only a question of time before his rigging was cut or his +steering gear disabled. +</P> + +<P> +One point the Desperate Lark scored over the Arabs and a very good one +too, darkness fell just before they could have sighted her and now +Shard used the lantern ahead as he dared not do on the first night +when the Arabs were close, and with the help of it managed to do three +knots. The Arabs encamped in the evening and the Desperate Lark gained +twenty knots. But the next evening they appeared again and this time +they saw the sails of the Desperate Lark. +</P> + +<P> +On the sixth day they were close. On the seventh they were closer. And +then, a line of verdure across their bows, Shard saw the Niger River. +</P> + +<P> +Whether he knew that for a thousand miles it rolled its course through +forest, whether he even knew that it was there at all; what his plans +were, or whether he lived from day to day like a man whose days are +numbered he never told his men. Nor can I get an indication on this +point from the talk that I hear from sailors in their cups in a +certain tavern I know of. His face was expressionless, his mouth shut, +and he held his ship to her course. That evening they were up to the +edge of the tree trunks and the Arabs camped and waited ten knots +astern and the wind had sunk a little. +</P> + +<P> +There Shard anchored a little before sunset and landed at once. At +first he explored the forest a little on foot. Then he sent for +Spanish Dick. They had slung the cutter on board some days ago when +they found she could not keep up. Shard could not ride but he sent for +Spanish Dick and told him he must take him as a passenger. So Spanish +Dick slung him in front of the saddle "before the mast" as Shard +called it, for they still carried a mast on the front of the saddle, +and away they galloped together. "Rough weather," said Shard, but he +surveyed the forest as he went and the long and short of it was he +found a place where the forest was less than half a mile thick and the +Desperate Lark might get through: but twenty trees must be cut. Shard +marked the trees himself, sent Spanish Dick right back to watch the +Arabs and turned the whole of his crew on to those twenty trees. It +was a frightful risk, the Desperate Lark was empty, with an enemy no +more than ten knots astern, but it was a moment for bold measures and +Shard took the chance of being left without his ship in the heart of +Africa in the hope of being repaid by escaping altogether. +</P> + +<P> +The men worked all night on those twenty trees, those that had no axes +bored with bradawls and blasted, and then relieved those that had. +</P> + +<P> +Shard was indefatigable, he went from tree to tree showing exactly +what way every one was to fall, and what was to be done with them when +they were down. Some had to be cut down because their branches would +get in the way of the masts, others because their trunks would be in +the way of the wheels; in the case of the last the stumps had to be +made smooth and low with saws and perhaps a bit of the trunk sawn off +and rolled away. This was the hardest work they had. And they were all +large trees, on the other hand had they been small there would have +been many more of them and they could not have sailed in and out, +sometimes for hundreds of yards, without cutting any at all: and all +this Shard calculated on doing if only there was time. +</P> + +<P> +The light before dawn came and it looked as if they would never do it +at all. And then dawn came and it was all done but one tree, the hard +part of the work had all been done in the night and a sort of final +rush cleared everything up except that one huge tree. And then the +cutter signalled the Arabs were moving. At dawn they had prayed, and +now they had struck their camp. Shard at once ordered all his men to +the ship except ten whom he left at the tree, they had some way to go +and the Arabs had been moving some ten minutes before they got there. +Shard took in the cutter which wasted five minutes, hoisted sail +short-handed and that took five minutes more, and slowly got under +way. +</P> + +<P> +The wind was dropping still and by the time the Desperate Lark had +come to the edge of that part of the forest through which Shard had +laid his course the Arabs were no more than five knots away. He had +sailed East half a mile, which he ought to have done overnight so as +to be ready, but he could not spare time or thought or men away from +those twenty trees. Then Shard turned into the forest and the Arabs +were dead astern. They hurried when they saw the Desperate Lark enter +the forest. +</P> + +<P> +"Doing ten knots," said Shard as he watched them from the deck. The +Desperate Lark was doing no more than a knot and a half for the wind +was weak under the lee of the trees. Yet all went well for a while. +The big tree had just come down some way ahead, and the ten men were +sawing bits off the trunk. +</P> + +<P> +And then Shard saw a branch that he had not marked on the chart, it +would just catch the top of the mainmast. He anchored at once and sent +a hand aloft who sawed it half way through and did the rest with a +pistol, and now the Arabs were only three knots astern. For a quarter +of a mile Shard steered them through the forest till they came to the +ten men and that bad big tree, another foot had yet to come off one +corner of the stump for the wheels had to pass over it. Shard turned +all hands on to the stump and it was then that the Arabs came within +shot. But they had to unpack their gun. And before they had it mounted +Shard was away. If they had charged things might have been different. +When they saw the Desperate Lark under way again the Arabs came on to +within three hundred yards and there they mounted two guns. Shard +watched them along his stern gun but would not fire. They were six +hundred yards away before the Arabs could fire and then they fired too +soon and both guns missed. And Shard and his merry men saw clear water +only ten fathoms ahead. Then Shard loaded his stern gun with canister +instead of shot and at the same moment the Arabs charged on their +camels; they came galloping down through the forest waving long +lances. Shard left the steering to Smerdrak and stood by the stern +gun, the Arabs were within fifty yards and still Shard did not fire; +he had most of his men in the stern with muskets beside him. Those +lances carried on camels were altogether different from swords in the +hands of horsemen, they could reach the men on deck. The men could see +the horrible barbs on the lanceheads, they were almost at their faces +when Shard fired, and at the same moment the Desperate Lark with her +dry and suncracked keel in air on the high bank of the Niger fell +forward like a diver. The gun went off through the tree-tops, a wave +came over the bows and swept the stern, the Desperate Lark wriggled +and righted herself, she was back in her element. +</P> + +<P> +The merry men looked at the wet decks and at their dripping clothes. +"Water," they said almost wonderingly. +</P> + +<P> +The Arabs followed a little way through the forest but when they saw +that they had to face a broadside instead of one stern gun and +perceived that a ship afloat is less vulnerable to cavalry even than +when on shore, they abandoned ideas of revenge, and comforted +themselves with a text out of their sacred book which tells how in +other days and other places our enemies shall suffer even as we +desire. +</P> + +<P> +For a thousand miles with the flow of the Niger and the help of +occasional winds, the Desperate Lark moved seawards. At first he +sweeps East a little and then Southwards, till you come to Akassa and +the open sea. +</P> + +<P> +I will not tell you how they caught fish and ducks, raided a village +here and there and at last came to Akassa, for I have said much +already of Captain Shard. Imagine them drawing nearer and nearer the +sea, bad men all, and yet with a feeling for something where we feel +for our king, our country or our home, a feeling for something that +burned in them not less ardently than our feelings in us, and that +something the sea. Imagine them nearing it till sea birds appeared and +they fancied they felt sea breezes and all sang songs again that they +had not sung for weeks. Imagine them heaving at last on the salt +Atlantic again. +</P> + +<P> +I have said much already of Captain Shard and I fear lest I shall +weary you, O my reader, if I tell you any more of so bad a man. I too +at the top of a tower all alone am weary. +</P> + +<P> +And yet it is right that such a tale should be told. A journey almost +due South from near Algiers to Akassa in a ship that we should call no +more than a yacht. Let it be a stimulus to younger men. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="guarantee"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> + Guarantee To The Reader<BR> +</H3> + +<P> +Since writing down for your benefit, O my reader, all this long tale +that I heard in the tavern by the sea I have travelled in Algeria and +Tunisia as well as in the Desert. Much that I saw in those countries +seems to throw doubt on the tale that the sailor told me. To begin +with the Desert does not come within hundreds of miles of the coast +and there are more mountains to cross than you would suppose, the +Atlas mountains in particular. It is just possible Shard might have +got through by El Cantara, following the camel road which is many +centuries old; or he may have gone by Algiers and Bou Saada and +through the mountain pass El Finita Dem, though that is a bad enough +way for camels to go (let alone bullocks with a ship) for which reason +the Arabs call it Finita Dem—the Path of Blood. +</P> + +<P> +I should not have ventured to give this story the publicity of print +had the sailor been sober when he told it, for fear that he I should +have deceived you, O my reader; but this was never the case with him +as I took good care to ensure: "in vino veritas" is a sound old +proverb, and I never had cause to doubt his word unless that proverb +lies. +</P> + +<P> +If it should prove that he has deceived me, let it pass; but if he has +been the means of deceiving you there are little things about him that +I know, the common gossip of that ancient tavern whose leaded +bottle-glass windows watch the sea, which I will tell at once to every +judge of my acquaintance, and it will be a pretty race to see which of +them will hang him. +</P> + +<P> +Meanwhile, O my reader, believe the story, resting assured that if you +are taken in the thing shall be a matter for the hangman. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="equator"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A Tale of the Equator +</H3> + +<P> +He who is Sultan so remote to the East that his dominions were deemed +fabulous in Babylon, whose name is a by-word for distance today in the +streets of Bagdad, whose capital bearded travellers invoke by name in +the gate at evening to gather hearers to their tales when the smoke of +tobacco arises, dice rattle and taverns shine; even he in that very +city made mandate, and said: "Let there be brought hither all my +learned men that they may come before me and rejoice my heart with +learning." +</P> + +<P> +Men ran and clarions sounded, and it was so that there came before the +Sultan all of his learned men. And many were found wanting. But of +those that were able to say acceptable things, ever after to be named +The Fortunate, one said that to the South of the Earth lay a Land— +said Land was crowned with lotus—where it was summer in our winter +days and where it was winter in summer. +</P> + +<P> +And when the Sultan of those most distant lands knew that the Creator +of All had contrived a device so vastly to his delight his merriment +knew no bounds. On a sudden he spake and said, and this was the gist +of his saying, that upon that line of boundary or limit that divided +the North from the South a palace be made, where in the Northern +courts should summer be, while in the South was winter; so should he +move from court to court according to his mood, and dally with the +summer in the morning and spend the noon with snow. So the Sultan's +poets were sent for and bade to tell of that city, foreseeing its +splendour far away to the South and in the future of time; and some +were found fortunate. And of those that were found fortunate and were +crowned with flowers none earned more easily the Sultan's smile (on +which long days depended) than he that foreseeing the city spake of it +thus: +</P> + +<P> +"In seven years and seven days, O Prop of Heaven, shall thy builders +build it, thy palace that is neither North nor South, where neither +summer nor winter is sole lord of the hours. White I see it, very +vast, as a city, very fair, as a woman, Earth's wonder, with many +windows, with thy princesses peering out at twilight; yea, I behold +the bliss of the gold balconies, and hear a rustling down long +galleries and the doves' coo upon its sculptured eaves. O Prop of +Heaven, would that so fair a city were built by thine ancient sires, +the children of the sun, that so might all men see it even today, and +not the poets only, whose vision sees it so far away to the South and +in the future of time. +</P> + +<P> +"O King of the Years, it shall stand midmost on that line that +divideth equally the North from the South and that parteth the seasons +asunder as with a screen. On the Northern side when summer is in the +North thy silken guards shall pace by dazzling walls while thy +spearsmen clad in furs go round the South. But at the hour of noon in +the midmost day of the year thy chamberlain shall go down from his +high place and into the midmost court, and men with trumpets shall go +down behind him, and he shall utter a great cry at noon, and the men +with trumpets shall cause their trumpets to blare, and the spearsmen +clad in furs shall march to the North and thy silken guard shall take +their place in the South, and summer shall leave the North and go to +the South, and all the swallows shall rise and follow after. And alone +in thine inner courts shall no change be, for they shall lie narrowly +along that line that parteth the seasons in sunder and divideth the +North from the South, and thy long gardens shall lie under them. +</P> + +<P> +"And in thy gardens shall spring always be, for spring lies ever at +the marge of summer; and autumn also shall always tint thy gardens, +for autumn always flares at winter's edge, and those gardens shall lie +apart between winter and summer. And there shall be orchards in thy +garden, too, with all the burden of autumn on their boughs and all the +blossom of spring. +</P> + +<P> +"Yea, I behold this palace, for we see future things; I see its white +wall shine in the huge glare of midsummer, and the lizards lying along +it motionless in the sun, and men asleep in the noonday, and the +butterflies floating by, and birds of radiant plumage chasing +marvellous moths; far off the forest and great orchids glorying there, +and iridescent insects dancing round in the light. I see the wall upon +the other side; the snow has come upon the battlements, the icicles +have fringed them like frozen beards, a wild wind blowing out of +lonely places and crying to the cold fields as it blows has sent the +snowdrifts higher than the buttresses; they that look out through +windows on that side of thy palace see the wild geese flying low and +all the birds of the winter, going by swift in packs beat low by the +bitter wind, and the clouds above them are black, for it is midwinter +there; while in thine other courts the fountains tinkle, falling on +marble warmed by the fire of the summer sun. +</P> + +<P> +"Such, O King of the Years, shall thy palace be, and its name shall be +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder; and thy wisdom shall bid thine +architects build at once, that all may see what as yet the poets see +only, and that prophecy be fulfilled." +</P> + +<P> +And when the poet ceased the Sultan spake, and said, as all men +hearkened with bent heads: +</P> + +<P> +"It will be unnecessary for my builders to build this palace, +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder, for in hearing thee we have drunk +already its pleasures." +</P> + +<P> +And the poet went forth from the Presence and dreamed a new thing. +</P> + +<P CLASS="noindent" ALIGN="center"> +<SPAN STYLE="letter-spacing: 4em">*****</SPAN><BR> +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="escape"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A Narrow Escape +</H3> + +<P> +It was underground. +</P> + +<P> +In that dank cavern down below Belgrave Square the walls were +dripping. But what was that to the magician? It was secrecy that he +needed, not dryness. There he pondered upon the trend of events, +shaped destinies and concocted magical brews. +</P> + +<P> +For the last few years the serenity of his ponderings had been +disturbed by the noise of the motor-bus; while to his keen ears there +came the earthquake-rumble, far off, of the train in the tube, going +down Sloane Street; and when he heard of the world above his head was +not to its credit. +</P> + +<P> +He decided one evening over his evil pipe, down there in his dank +chamber, that London had lived long enough, had abused its +opportunities, had gone too far, in fine, with its civilisation. And +so he decided to wreck it. +</P> + +<P> +Therefore he beckoned up his acolyte from the weedy end of the cavern, +and, "Bring me," he said, "the heart of the toad that dwelleth in +Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." The acolyte slipped away by +the hidden door, leaving that grim old man with his frightful pipe, +and whither he went who knows but the gipsy people, or by what path he +returned; but within a year he stood in the cavern again, slipping +secretly in by the trap while the old man smoked, and he brought with +him a little fleshy thing that rotted in a casket of pure gold. +</P> + +<P> +"What is it?" the old man croaked. +</P> + +<P> +"It is," said the acolyte, "the heart of the toad that dwelt once in +Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." +</P> + +<P> +The old man's crooked fingers closed on it, and he blessed the acolyte +with his rasping voice and claw-like hand uplifted; the motor-bus +rumbled above on its endless journey; far off the train shook Sloane +Street. +</P> + +<P> +"Come," said the old magician, "it is time." And there and then they +left the weedy cavern, the acolyte carrying cauldron, gold poker and +all things needful, and went abroad in the light. And very wonderful +the old man looked in his silks. +</P> + +<P> +Their goal was the outskirts of London; the old man strode in front +and the acolyte ran behind him, and there was something magical in the +old man's stride alone, without his wonderful dress, the cauldron and +wand, the hurrying acolyte and the small gold poker. +</P> + +<P> +Little boys jeered till they caught the old man's eye. So there went +on through London this strange procession of two, too swift for any to +follow. Things seemed worse up there than they did in the cavern, and +the further they got on their way towards London's outskirts the worse +London got. "It is time," said the old man, "surely." +</P> + +<P> +And so they came at last to London's edge and a small hill watching it +with a mournful look. It was so mean that the acolyte longed for the +cavern, dank though it was and full of terrible sayings that the old +man said when he slept. +</P> + +<P> +They climbed the hill and put the cauldron down, and put there in the +necessary things, and lit a fire of herbs that no chemist will sell +nor decent gardener grow, and stirred the cauldron with the golden +poker. The magician retired a little apart and muttered, then he +strode back to the cauldron and, all being ready, suddenly opened the +casket and let the fleshy thing fall in to boil. +</P> + +<P> +Then he made spells, then he flung up his arms; the fumes from the +cauldron entering in at his mind he said raging things that he had not +known before and runes that were dreadful (the acolyte screamed); +there he cursed London from fog to loam-pit, from zenith to the abyss, +motor-bus, factory, shop, parliament, people. "Let them all perish," +he said, "and London pass away, tram lines and bricks and pavement, +the usurpers too long of the fields, let them all pass away and the +wild hares come back, blackberry and briar-rose." +</P> + +<P> +"Let it pass," he said, "pass now, pass utterly." +</P> + +<P> +In the momentary silence the old man coughed, then waited with eager +eyes; and the long long hum of London hummed as it always has since +first the reed-huts were set up by the river, changing its note at +times but always humming, louder now than it was in years gone by, but +humming night and day though its voice be cracked with age; so it +hummed on. +</P> + +<P> +And the old man turned him round to his trembling acolyte and terribly +said as he sank into the earth: "YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT ME THE HEART +OF THE TOAD THAT DWELLETH IN ARABIA NOR BY THE MOUNTAINS OF +BETHANY!" +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="tower"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Watch-tower +</H3> + +<P> +I sat one April in Provence on a small hill above an ancient town that +Goth and Vandal as yet have forborne to "bring up to date." +</P> + +<P> +On the hill was an old worn castle with a watch-tower, and a well with +narrow steps and water in it still. +</P> + +<P> +The watch-tower, staring South with neglected windows, faced a broad +valley full of the pleasant twilight and the hum of evening things: it +saw the fires of wanderers blink from the hills, beyond them the long +forest black with pines, one star appearing, and darkness settling +slowly down on Var. +</P> + +<P> +Sitting there listening to the green frogs croaking, hearing far +voices clearly but all transmuted by evening, watching the windows in +the little town glimmering one by one, and seeing the gloaming dwindle +solemnly into night, a great many things fell from mind that seem +important by day, and evening in their place planted strange fancies. +</P> + +<P> +Little winds had arisen and were whispering to and fro, it grew cold, +and I was about to descend the hill, when I heard a voice behind me +saying, "Beware, beware." +</P> + +<P> +So much the voice appeared a part of the evening that I did not turn +round at first; it was like voices that one hears in sleep and thinks +to be of one's dream. And the word was monotonously repeated, in +French. +</P> + +<P> +When I turned round I saw an old man with a horn. He had a white beard +marvellously long, and still went on saying slowly, "Beware, beware." +He had clearly just come from the tower by which he stood, though I +had heard no footfall. Had a man come stealthily upon me at such an +hour and in so lonesome a place I had certainly felt surprised; but I +saw almost at once that he was a spirit, and he seemed with his +uncouth horn and his long white beard and that noiseless step of his +to be so native to that time and place that I spoke to him as one does +to some fellow-traveller who asks you if you mind having the window +up. +</P> + +<P> +I asked him what there was to beware of. +</P> + +<P> +"Of what should a town beware," he said, "but the Saracens?" +</P> + +<P> +"Saracens?" I said. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, Saracens, Saracens," he answered and brandished his horn. +</P> + +<P> +"And who are you?" I said. +</P> + +<P> +"I, I am the spirit of the tower," he said. +</P> + +<P> +When I asked him how he came by so human an aspect and was so unlike +the material tower beside him he told me that the lives of all the +watchers who had ever held the horn in the tower there had gone to +make the spirit of the tower. "It takes a hundred lives," he said. +"None hold the horn of late and men neglect the tower. When the walls +are in ill repair the Saracens come: it was ever so." +</P> + +<P> +"The Saracens don't come nowadays," I said. +</P> + +<P> +But he was gazing past me watching, and did not seem to heed me. +</P> + +<P> +"They will run down those hills," he said, pointing away to the South, +"out of the woods about nightfall, and I shall blow my horn. The +people will all come up from the town to the tower again; but the +loopholes are in very ill repair." +</P> + +<P> +"We never hear of the Saracens now," I said. +</P> + +<P> +"Hear of the Saracens!" the old spirit said. "Hear of the Saracens! +They slip one evening out of that forest, in the long white robes that +they wear, and I blow my horn. That is the first that anyone ever +hears of the Saracens." +</P> + +<P> +"I mean," I said, "that they never come at all. They cannot come and +men fear other things." For I thought the old spirit might rest if he +knew that the Saracens can never come again. But he said, "There is +nothing in the world to fear but the Saracens. Nothing else matters. +How can men fear other things?" +</P> + +<P> +Then I explained, so that he might have rest, and told him how all +Europe, and in particular France, had terrible engines of war, both on +land and sea; and how the Saracens had not these terrible engines +either on sea or land, and so could by no means cross the +Mediterranean or escape destruction on shore even though they should +come there. I alluded to the European railways that could move armies +night and day faster than horses could gallop. And when as well as I +could I had explained all, he answered, "In time all these things pass +away and then there will still be the Saracens." +</P> + +<P> +And then I said, "There has not been a Saracen either in France or +Spain for over four hundred years." +</P> + +<P> +And he said, "The Saracens! You do not know their cunning. That was +ever the way of the Saracens. They do not come for a while, no not +they, for a long while, and then one day they come." +</P> + +<P> +And peering southwards, but not seeing clearly because of the rising +mist, he silently moved to his tower and up its broken steps. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="plash"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire +</H3> + +<P> +In a thatched cottage of enormous size, so vast that we might consider +it a palace, but only a cottage in the style of its building, its +timbers and the nature of its interior, there lived Plash-Goo. +</P> + +<P> +Plash-Goo was of the children of the giants, whose sire was Uph. And +the lineage of Uph had dwindled in bulk for the last five hundred +years, till the giants were now no more than fifteen foot high; but +Uph ate elephants which he caught with his hands. +</P> + +<P> +Now on the tops of the mountains above the house of Plash-Goo, for +Plash-Goo lived in the plains, there dwelt the dwarf whose name was +Lrippity-Kang. And the dwarf used to walk at evening on the edge of +the tops of the mountains, and would walk up and down along it, and +was squat and ugly and hairy, and was plainly seen of Plash-Goo. +</P> + +<P> +And for many weeks the giant had suffered the sight of him, but at +length grew irked at the sight (as men are by little things), and +could not sleep of a night and lost his taste for pigs. And at last +there came the day, as anyone might have known, when Plash-Goo +shouldered his club and went up to look for the dwarf. +</P> + +<P> +And the dwarf though briefly squat was broader than may be dreamed, +beyond all breadth of man, and stronger than men may know; strength in +its very essence dwelt in that little frame, as a spark in the heart +of a flint: but to Plash-Goo he was no more than mis-shapen, bearded +and squat, a thing that dared to defy all natural laws by being more +broad than long. +</P> + +<P> +When Plash-Goo came to the mountain he cast his chimahalk down (for so +he named the club of his heart's desire) lest the dwarf should defy +him with nimbleness; and stepped towards Lrippity-Kang with gripping +hands, who stopped in his mountainous walk without a word, and swung +round his hideous breadth to confront Plash-Goo. Already then +Plash-Goo in the deeps of his mind had seen himself seize the dwarf in +one large hand and hurl him with his beard and his hated breadth sheer +down the precipice that dropped away from that very place to the land +of None's Desire. Yet it was otherwise that Fate would have it. For +the dwarf parried with his little arms the grip of those monstrous +hands, and gradually working along the enormous limbs came at length +to the giant's body where by dwarfish cunning he obtained a grip; and +turning Plash-Goo about, as a spider does some great fly, till his +little grip was suitable to his purpose, he suddenly lifted the giant +over his head. Slowly at first, by the edge of that precipice whose +base sheer distance hid, he swung his giant victim round his head, but +soon faster and faster; and at last when Plash-Goo was streaming round +the hated breadth of the dwarf and the no less hated beard was +flapping in the wind, Lrippity-Kang let go. Plash-Goo shot over the +edge and for some way further, out towards Space, like a stone; then +he began to fall. It was long before he believed and truly knew that +this was really he that fell from this mountain, for we do not +associate such dooms with ourselves; but when he had fallen for some +while through the evening and saw below him, where there had been +nothing to see, or began to see, the glimmer of tiny fields, then his +optimism departed; till later on when the fields were greener and +larger he saw that this was indeed (and growing now terribly nearer) +that very land to which he had destined the dwarf. +</P> + +<P> +At last he saw it unmistakable, close, with its grim houses and its +dreadful ways, and its green fields shining in the light of the +evening. His cloak was streaming from him in whistling shreds. +</P> + +<P> +So Plash-Goo came to the Land of None's Desire. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="gambit"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Three Sailors' Gambit +</H3> + +<P> +Sitting some years ago in the ancient tavern at Over, one afternoon in +Spring, I was waiting, as was my custom, for something strange to +happen. In this I was not always disappointed for the very curious +leaded panes of that tavern, facing the sea, let a light into the +low-ceilinged room so mysterious, particularly at evening, that it +somehow seemed to affect the events within. Be that as it may, I have +seen strange things in that tavern and heard stranger things told. +</P> + +<P> +And as I sat there three sailors entered the tavern, just back, as +they said, from sea, and come with sunburned skins from a very long +voyage to the South; and one of them had a board and chessmen under +his arm, and they were complaining that they could find no one who +knew how to play chess. This was the year that the Tournament was in +England. And a little dark man at a table in a corner of the room, +drinking sugar and water, asked them why they wished to play chess; +and they said they would play any man for a pound. They opened their +box of chessmen then, a cheap and nasty set, and the man refused to +play with such uncouth pieces, and the sailors suggested that perhaps +he could find better ones; and in the end he went round to his +lodgings near by and brought his own, and then they sat down to play +for a pound a side. It was a consultation game on the part of the +sailors, they said that all three must play. +</P> + +<P> +Well, the little dark man turned out to be Stavlokratz. +</P> + +<P> +Of course he was fabulously poor, and the sovereign meant more to him +than it did to the sailors, but he didn't seem keen to play, it was +the sailors that insisted; he had made the badness of the sailors' +chessmen an excuse for not playing at all, but the sailors had +overruled that, and then he told them straight out who he was, and the +sailors had never heard of Stavlokratz. +</P> + +<P> +Well, no more was said after that. Stavlokratz said no more, either +because he did not wish to boast or because he was huffed that they +did not know who he was. And I saw no reason to enlighten the sailors +about him; if he took their pound they had brought it upon themselves, +and my boundless admiration for his genius made me feel that he +deserved whatever might come his way. He had not asked to play, they +had named the stakes, he had warned them, and gave them the first +move; there was nothing unfair about Stavlokratz. +</P> + +<P> +I had never seen Stavlokratz before, but I had played over nearly +every one of his games in the World Championship for the last three or +four years; he was always of course the model chosen by students. Only +young chess-players can appreciate my delight at seeing him play first +hand. +</P> + +<P> +Well, the sailors used to lower their heads almost as low as the table +and mutter together before every move, but they muttered so low that +you could not hear what they planned. +</P> + +<P> +They lost three pawns almost straight off, then a knight, and shortly +after a bishop; they were playing in fact the famous Three Sailors' +Gambit. +</P> + +<P> +Stavlokratz was playing with the easy confidence that they say was +usual with him, when suddenly at about the thirteenth move I saw him +look surprised; he leaned forward and looked at the board and then at +the sailors, but he learned nothing from their vacant faces; he looked +back at the board again. +</P> + +<P> +He moved more deliberately after that; the sailors lost two more +pawns, Stavlokratz had lost nothing as yet. He looked at me I thought +almost irritably, as though something would happen that he wished I +was not there to see. I believed at first that he had qualms about +taking the sailors' pound, until it dawned on me that he might lose +the game; I saw that possibility in his face, not on the board, for +the game had become almost incomprehensible to me. I cannot describe +my astonishment. And a few moves later Stavlokratz resigned. +</P> + +<P> +The sailors showed no more elation than if they had won some game with +greasy cards, playing amongst themselves. +</P> + +<P> +Stavlokratz asked them where they got their opening. "We kind of +thought of it," said one. "It just come into our heads like," said +another. He asked them questions about the ports they had touched at. +He evidently thought as I did myself that they had learned their +extraordinary gambit, perhaps in some old dependancy of Spain, from +some young master of chess whose fame had not reached Europe. He was +very eager to find out who this man could be, for neither of us +imagined that those sailors had invented it, nor would anyone who had +seen them. But he got no information from the sailors. +</P> + +<P> +Stavlokratz could very ill afford the loss of a pound. He offered to +play them again for the same stakes. The sailors began to set up the +white pieces. Stavlokratz pointed out that it was his turn for the +first move. The sailors agreed but continued to set up the white +pieces and sat with the white before them waiting for him to move. It +was a trivial incident, but it revealed to Stavlokratz and myself that +none of these sailors was aware that white always moves first. +</P> + +<P> +Stavlokratz played them on his own opening, reasoning of course that +as they had never heard of Stavlokratz they would not know of his +opening; and with probably a very good hope of getting back his pound +he played the fifth variation with its tricky seventh move, at least +so he intended, but it turned to a variation unknown to the students +of Stavlokratz. +</P> + +<P> +Throughout this game I watched the sailors closely, and I became sure, +as only an attentive watcher can be, that the one on their left, Jim +Bunion, did not even know the moves. +</P> + +<P> +When I had made up my mind about this I watched only the other two, +Adam Bailey and Bill Sloggs, trying to make out which was the master +mind; and for a long while I could not. And then I heard Adam Bailey +mutter six words, the only words I heard throughout the game, of all +their consultations, "No, him with the horse's head." And I decided +that Adam Bailey did not know what a knight was, though of course he +might have been explaining things to Bill Sloggs, but it did not sound +like that; so that left Bill Sloggs. I watched Bill Sloggs after that +with a certain wonder; he was no more intellectual than the others to +look at, though rather more forceful perhaps. Poor old Stavlokratz was +beaten again. +</P> + +<P> +Well, in the end I paid for Stavlokratz, and tried to get a game with +Bill Sloggs alone, but this he would not agree to, it must be all +three or none: and then I went back with Stavlokratz to his lodgings. +He very kindly gave me a game: of course it did not last long but I am +prouder of having been beaten by Stavlokratz than of any game that I +have ever won. And then we talked for an hour about the sailors, and +neither of us could make head or tail of them. I told him what I had +noticed about Jim Bunion and Adam Bailey, and he agreed with me that +Bill Sloggs was the man, though as to how he had come by that gambit +or that variation of Stavlokratz's own opening he had no theory. +</P> + +<P> +I had the sailors' address which was that tavern as much as anywhere, +and they were to be there all evening. As evening drew in I went back +to the tavern, and found there still the three sailors. And I offered +Bill Sloggs two pounds for a game with him alone and he refused, but +in the end he played me for a drink. And then I found that he had not +heard of the "en passant" rule, and believed that the fact of checking +the king prevented him from castling, and did not know that a player +can have two or more queens on the board at the same time if he queens +his pawns, or that a pawn could ever become a knight; and he made as +many of the stock mistakes as he had time for in a short game, which I +won. I thought that I should have got at the secret then, but his +mates who had sat scowling all the while in the corner came up and +interfered. It was a breach of their compact apparently for one to +play by himself, at any rate they seemed angry. So I left the tavern +then and came back again next day, and the next day and the day after, +and often saw the sailors, but none were in a communicative mood. I +had got Stavlokratz to keep away, and they could get no one to play +chess with at a pound a side, and I would not play with them unless +they told me the secret. +</P> + +<P> +And then one evening I found Jim Bunion drunk, yet not so drunk as he +wished, for the two pounds were spent; and I gave him very nearly a +tumbler of whiskey, or what passed for whiskey in that tavern at Over, +and he told me the secret at once. I had given the others some whiskey +to keep them quiet, and later on in the evening they must have gone +out, but Jim Bunion stayed with me by a little table leaning across it +and talking low, right into my face, his breath smelling all the while +of what passed for whiskey. +</P> + +<P> +The wind was blowing outside as it does on bad nights in November, +coming up with moans from the South, towards which the tavern faced +with all its leaded panes, so that none but I was able to hear his +voice as Jim Bunion gave up his secret. They had sailed for years, he +told me, with Bill Snyth; and on their last voyage home Bill Snyth had +died. And he was buried at sea. Just the other side of the line they +buried him, and his pals divided his kit, and these three got his +crystal that only they knew he had, which Bill got one night in Cuba. +They played chess with the crystal. +</P> + +<P> +And he was going on to tell me about that night in Cuba when Bill had +bought the crystal from the stranger, how some folks might think they +had seen thunderstorms, but let them go and listen to that one that +thundered in Cuba when Bill was buying his crystal and they'd find +that they didn't know what thunder was. But then I interrupted him, +unfortunately perhaps, for it broke the thread of his tale and set him +rambling a while, and cursing other people and talking of other lands, +China, Port Said and Spain: but I brought him back to Cuba again in +the end. I asked him how they could play chess with a crystal; and he +said that you looked at the board and looked at the crystal, and there +was the game in the crystal the same as it was on the board, with all +the odd little pieces looking just the same though smaller, horses' +heads and whatnots; and as soon as the other man moved the move came +out in the crystal, and then your move appeared after it, and all you +had to do was to make it on the board. If you didn't make the move +that you saw in the crystal things got very bad in it, everything +horribly mixed and moving about rapidly, and scowling and making the +same move over and over again, and the crystal getting cloudier and +cloudier; it was best to take one's eyes away from it then, or one +dreamt about it afterwards, and the foul little pieces came and cursed +you in your sleep and moved about all night with their crooked moves. +</P> + +<P> +I thought then that, drunk though he was, he was not telling the +truth, and I promised to show him to people who played chess all their +lives so that he and his mates could get a pound whenever they liked, +and I promised not to reveal his secret even to Stavlokratz, if only +he would tell me all the truth; and this promise I have kept till long +after the three sailors have lost their secret. I told him straight +out that I did not believe in the crystal. Well, Jim Bunion leaned +forward then, even further across the table, and swore he had seen the +man from whom Bill had bought the crystal and that he was one to whom +anything was possible. To begin with his hair was villainously dark, +and his features were unmistakable even down there in the South, and +he could play chess with his eyes shut, and even then he could beat +anyone in Cuba. But there was more than this, there was the bargain he +made with Bill that told one who he was. He sold that crystal for Bill +Snyth's soul. +</P> + +<P> +Jim Bunion leaning over the table with his breath in my face nodded +his head several times and was silent. +</P> + +<P> +I began to question him then. Did they play chess as far away as Cuba? +He said they all did. Was it conceivable that any man would make such +a bargain as Snyth made? Wasn't the trick well known? Wasn't it in +hundreds of books? And if he couldn't read books mustn't he have heard +from sailors that it is the Devil's commonest dodge to get souls from +silly people? +</P> + +<P> +Jim Bunion had leant back in his own chair quietly smiling at my +questions but when I mentioned silly people he leaned forward again, +and thrust his face close to mine and asked me several times if I +called Bill Snyth silly. It seemed that these three sailors thought a +great deal of Bill Snyth and it made Jim Bunion angry to hear anything +said against him. I hastened to say that the bargain seemed silly +though not of course the man who made it; for the sailor was almost +threatening, and no wonder for the whiskey in that dim tavern would +madden a nun. +</P> + +<P> +When I said that the bargain seemed silly he smiled again, and then he +thundered his fist down on the table and said that no one had ever yet +got the best of Bill Snyth and that that was the worst bargain for +himself that the Devil ever made, and that from all he had read or +heard of the Devil he had never been so badly had before as the night +when he met Bill Snyth at the inn in the thunderstorm in Cuba, for +Bill Snyth already had the damndest soul at sea; Bill was a good +fellow, but his soul was damned right enough, so he got the crystal +for nothing. +</P> + +<P> +Yes, he was there and saw it all himself, Bill Snyth in the Spanish +inn and the candles flaring, and the Devil walking in and out of the +rain, and then the bargain between those two old hands, and the Devil +going out into the lightning, and the thunderstorm raging on, and Bill +Snyth sitting chuckling to himself between the bursts of the thunder. +</P> + +<P> +But I had more questions to ask and interrupted this reminiscence. Why +did they all three always play together? And a look of something like +fear came over Jim Bunion's face; and at first he would not speak. And +then he said to me that it was like this; they had not paid for that +crystal, but got it as their share of Bill Snyth's kit. If they had +paid for it or given something in exchange to Bill Snyth that would +have been all right, but they couldn't do that now because Bill was +dead, and they were not sure if the old bargain might not hold good. +And Hell must be a large and lonely place, and to go there alone must +be bad, and so the three agreed that they would all stick together, +and use the crystal all three or not at all, unless one died, and then +the two would use it and the one that was gone would wait for them. +And the last of the three to go would take the crystal with him, or +maybe the crystal would bring him. They didn't think, they said, they +were the kind of men for Heaven, and he hoped they knew their place +better than that, but they didn't fancy the notion of Hell alone, if +Hell it had to be. It was all right for Bill Snyth, he was afraid of +nothing. He had known perhaps five men that were not afraid of death, +but Bill Snyth was not afraid of Hell. He died with a smile on his +face like a child in its sleep; it was drink killed poor Bill Snyth. +</P> + +<P> +This was why I had beaten Bill Sloggs; Sloggs had the crystal on him +while we played, but would not use it; these sailors seemed to fear +loneliness as some people fear being hurt; he was the only one of the +three who could play chess at all, he had learnt it in order to be +able to answer questions and keep up their pretence, but he had learnt +it badly, as I found. I never saw the crystal, they never showed it to +anyone; but Jim Bunion told me that night that it was about the size +that the thick end of a hen's egg would be if it were round. And then +he fell asleep. +</P> + +<P> +There were many more questions that I would have asked him but I could +not wake him up. I even pulled the table away so that he fell to the +floor, but he slept on, and all the tavern was dark but for one candle +burning; and it was then that I noticed for the first time that the +other two sailors had gone, no one remained at all but Jim Bunion and +I and the sinister barman of that curious inn, and he too was asleep. +</P> + +<P> +When I saw that it was impossible to wake the sailor I went out into +the night. Next day Jim Bunion would talk of it no more; and when I +went back to Stavlokratz I found him already putting on paper his +theory about the sailors, which became accepted by chess-players, that +one of them had been taught their curious gambit and that the other +two between them had learnt all the defensive openings as well as +general play. Though who taught them no one could say, in spite of +enquiries made afterwards all along the Southern Pacific. +</P> + +<P> +I never learnt any more details from any of the three sailors, they +were always too drunk to speak or else not drunk enough to be +communicative. I seem just to have taken Jim Bunion at the flood. But +I kept my promise, it was I that introduced them to the Tournament, +and a pretty mess they made of established reputations. And so they +kept on for months, never losing a game and always playing for their +pound a side. I used to follow them wherever they went merely to watch +their play. They were more marvellous than Stavlokratz even in his +youth. +</P> + +<P> +But then they took to liberties such as giving their queen when +playing first-class players. And in the end one day when all three +were drunk they played the best player in England with only a row of +pawns. They won the game all right. But the ball broke to pieces. I +never smelt such a stench in all my life. +</P> + +<P> +The three sailors took it stoically enough, they signed on to +different ships and went back again to the sea, and the world of chess +lost sight, for ever I trust, of the most remarkable players it ever +knew, who would have altogether spoiled the game. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="exiles"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Exiles Club +</H3> + +<P> +It was an evening party; and something someone had said to me had +started me talking about a subject that to me is full of fascination, +the subject of old religions, forsaken gods. The truth (for all +religions have some of it), the wisdom, the beauty, of the religions +of countries to which I travel have not the same appeal for me; for +one only notices in them their tyranny and intolerance and the abject +servitude that they claim from thought; but when a dynasty has been +dethroned in heaven and goes forgotten and outcast even among men, +one's eyes no longer dazzled by its power find something very wistful +in the faces of fallen gods suppliant to be remembered, something +almost tearfully beautiful, like a long warm summer twilight fading +gently away after some day memorable in the story of earthly wars. +Between what Zeus, for instance, has been once and the half-remembered +tale he is today there lies a space so great that there is no change +of fortune known to man whereby we may measure the height down which +he has fallen. And it is the same with many another god at whom once +the ages trembled and the twentieth century treats as an old wives' +tale. The fortitude that such a fall demands is surely more than +human. +</P> + +<P> +Some such things as these I was saying, and being upon a subject that +much attracts me I possibly spoke too loudly, certainly I was not +aware that standing close behind me was no less a person than the +ex-King of Eritivaria, the thirty islands of the East, or I would have +moderated my voice and moved away a little to give him more room. I +was not aware of his presence until his satellite, one who had fallen +with him into exile but still revolved about him, told me that his +master desired to know me; and so to my surprise I was presented +though neither of them even knew my name. And that was how I came to +be invited by the ex-King to dine at his club. +</P> + +<P> +At the time I could only account for his wishing to know me by +supposing that he found in his own exiled condition some likeness to +the fallen fortunes of the gods of whom I talked unwitting of his +presence; but now I know that it was not of himself he was thinking +when he asked me to dine at that club. +</P> + +<P> +The club would have been the most imposing building in any street in +London, but in that obscure mean quarter of London in which they had +built it it appeared unduly enormous. Lifting right up above those +grotesque houses and built in that Greek style that we call Georgian, +there was something Olympian about it. To my host an unfashionable +street could have meant nothing, through all his youth wherever he had +gone had become fashionable the moment he went there; words like the +East End could have had no meaning to him. +</P> + +<P> +Whoever built that house had enormous wealth and cared nothing for +fashion, perhaps despised it. As I stood gazing at the magnificent +upper windows draped with great curtains, indistinct in the evening, +on which huge shadows flickered my host attracted my attention from +the doorway, and so I went in and met for the second time the ex-King +of Eritivaria. +</P> + +<P> +In front of us a stairway of rare marble led upwards, he took me +through a side-door and downstairs and we came to a banqueting-hall of +great magnificence. A long table ran up the middle of it, laid for +quite twenty people, and I noticed the peculiarity that instead of +chairs there were thrones for everyone except me, who was the only +guest and for whom there was an ordinary chair. My host explained to +me when we all sat down that everyone who belonged to that club was by +rights a king. +</P> + +<P> +In fact none was permitted, he told me, to belong to the club until +his claim to a kingdom made out in writing had been examined and +allowed by those whose duty it was. The whim of a populace or the +candidate's own misrule were never considered by the investigators, +nothing counted with them but heredity and lawful descent from kings, +all else was ignored. At that table there were those who had once +reigned themselves, others lawfully claimed descent from kings that +the world had forgotten, the kingdoms claimed by some had even changed +their names. Hatzgurh, the mountain kingdom, is almost regarded as +mythical. +</P> + +<P> +I have seldom seen greater splendour than that long hall provided +below the level of the street. No doubt by day it was a little sombre, +as all basements are, but at night with its great crystal chandeliers, +and the glitter of heirlooms that had gone into exile, it surpassed +the splendour of palaces that have only one king. They had come to +London suddenly most of those kings, or their fathers before them, or +forefathers; some had come away from their kingdoms by night, in a +light sleigh, flogging the horses, or had galloped clear with morning +over the border, some had trudged roads for days from their capital in +disguise, yet many had had time just as they left to snatch up some +small thing without price in markets, for the sake of old times as +they said, but quite as much, I thought, with an eye to the future. +And there these treasures glittered on that long table in the +banqueting-hall of the basement of that strange club. Merely to see +them was much, but to hear their story that their owners told was to +go back in fancy to epic times on the romantic border of fable and +fact, where the heroes of history fought with the gods of myth. The +famous silver horses of Gilgianza were there climbing their sheer +mountain, which they did by miraculous means before the time of the +Goths. It was not a large piece of silver but its workmanship +outrivalled the skill of the bees. +</P> + +<P> +A yellow Emperor had brought out of the East a piece of that +incomparable porcelain that had made his dynasty famous though all +their deeds are forgotten, it had the exact shade of the right purple. +</P> + +<P> +And there was a little golden statuette of a dragon stealing a diamond +from a lady, the dragon had the diamond in his claws, large and of the +first water. There had been a kingdom whose whole constitution and +history were founded on the legend, from which alone its kings had +claimed their right to the scepter, that a dragon stole a diamond from +a lady. When its last king left that country, because his favorite +general used a peculiar formation under the fire of artillery, he +brought with him the little ancient image that no longer proved him a +king outside that singular club. +</P> + +<P> +There was the pair of amethyst cups of the turbaned King of Foo, the +one that he drank from himself, and the one that he gave to his +enemies, eye could not tell which was which. +</P> + +<P> +All these things the ex-King of Eritivaria showed me, telling me a +marvelous tale of each; of his own he had brought nothing, except the +mascot that used once to sit on the top of the water tube of his +favorite motor. +</P> + +<P> +I have not outlined a tenth of the splendour of that table, I had +meant to come again and examine each piece of plate and make notes of +its history; had I known that this was the last time I should wish to +enter that club I should have looked at its treasures more +attentively, but now as the wine went round and the exiles began to +talk I took my eyes from the table and listened to strange tales of +their former state. +</P> + +<P> +He that has seen better times has usually a poor tale to tell, some +mean and trivial thing has been his undoing, but they that dined in +that basement had mostly fallen like oaks on nights of abnormal +tempest, had fallen mightily and shaken a nation. Those who had not +been kings themselves, but claimed through an exiled ancestor, had +stories to tell of even grander disaster, history seeming to have +mellowed their dynasty's fate as moss grows over an oak a great while +fallen. There were no jealousies there as so often there are among +kings, rivalry must have ceased with the loss of their navies and +armies, and they showed no bitterness against those that had turned +them out, one speaking of the error of his Prime Minister by which he +had lost his throne as "poor old Friedrich's Heaven-sent gift of +tactlessness." +</P> + +<P> +They gossiped pleasantly of many things, the tittle-tattle we all had +to know when we were learning history, and many a wonderful story I +might have heard, many a side light on mysterious wars had I not made +use of one unfortunate word. That word was "upstairs." +</P> + +<P> +The ex-King of Eritivaria having pointed out to me those unparalleled +heirlooms to which I have alluded, and many more besides, hospitably +asked me if there was anything else that I would care to see, he meant +the pieces of plate that they had in the cupboards, the curiously +graven swords of other princes, historic jewels, legendary seals, but +I who had had a glimpse of their marvelous staircase, whose balustrade +I believed to be solid gold and wondering why in such a stately house +they chose to dine in the basement, mentioned the word "upstairs." A +profound hush came down on the whole assembly, the hush that might +greet levity in a cathedral. +</P> + +<P> +"Upstairs!" he gasped. "We cannot go upstairs." +</P> + +<P> +I perceived that what I had said was an ill-chosen thing. I tried to +excuse myself but knew not how. +</P> + +<P> +"Of course," I muttered, "members may not take guests upstairs." +</P> + +<P> +"Members!" he said to me. "We are not the members!" +</P> + +<P> +There was such reproof in his voice that I said no more, I looked at +him questioningly, perhaps my lips moved, I may have said "What are +you?" A great surprise had come on me at their attitude. +</P> + +<P> +"We are the waiters," he said. +</P> + +<P> +That I could not have known, here at last was honest ignorance that I +had no need to be ashamed of, the very opulence of their table denied +it. +</P> + +<P> +"Then who are the members?" I asked. +</P> + +<P> +Such a hush fell at that question, such a hush of genuine awe, that +all of a sudden a wild thought entered my head, a thought strange and +fantastic and terrible. I gripped my host by the wrist and hushed my +voice. +</P> + +<P> +"Are they too exiles?" I asked. +</P> + +<P> +Twice as he looked in my face he gravely nodded his head. +</P> + +<P> +I left that club very swiftly indeed, never to see it again, scarcely +pausing to say farewell to those menial kings, and as I left the door +a great window opened far up at the top of the house and a flash of +lightning streamed from it and killed a dog. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="jokes"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Three Infernal Jokes +</H3> + +<P> +This is the story that the desolate man told to me on the lonely +Highland road one autumn evening with winter coming on and the stags +roaring. +</P> + +<P> +The saddening twilight, the mountain already black, the dreadful +melancholy of the stags' voices, his friendless mournful face, all +seemed to be of some most sorrowful play staged in that valley by an +outcast god, a lonely play of which the hills were part and he the +only actor. +</P> + +<P> +For long we watched each other drawing out of the solitudes of those +forsaken spaces. Then when we met he spoke. +</P> + +<P> +"I will tell you a thing that will make you die of laughter. I will +keep it to myself no longer. But first I must tell you how I came by +it." +</P> + +<P> +I do not give the story in his words with all his woeful interjections +and the misery of his frantic self-reproaches for I would not convey +unnecessarily to my readers that atmosphere of sadness that was about +all he said and that seemed to go with him where-ever he moved. +</P> + +<P> +It seems that he had been a member of a club, a West-end club he +called it, a respectable but quite inferior affair, probably in the +City: agents belonged to it, fire insurance mostly, but life insurance +and motor-agents too, it was in fact a touts' club. It seems that a +few of them one evening, forgetting for a moment their encyclopedias +and non-stop tyres, were talking loudly over a card-table when the +game had ended about their personal virtues, and a very little man +with waxed moustaches who disliked the taste of wine was boasting +heartily of his temperance. It was then that he who told this mournful +story, drawn on by the boasts of others, leaned forward a little over +the green baize into the light of the two guttering candles and +revealed, no doubt a little shyly, his own extraordinary virtue. One +woman was to him as ugly as another. +</P> + +<P> +And the silenced boasters rose and went home to bed leaving him all +alone, as he supposed, with his unequalled virtue. And yet he was not +alone, for when the rest had gone there arose a member out of a deep +arm-chair at the dark end of the room and walked across to him, a man +whose occupation he did not know and only now suspects. +</P> + +<P> +"You have," said the stranger, "a surpassing virtue." +</P> + +<P> +"I have no possible use for it," my poor friend replied. +</P> + +<P> +"Then doubtless you would sell it cheap," said the stranger. +</P> + +<P> +Something in the man's manner or appearance made the desolate teller +of this mournful tale feel his own inferiority, which probably made +him feel acutely shy, so that his mind abased itself as an Oriental +does his body in the presence of a superior, or perhaps he was sleepy, +or merely a little drunk. Whatever it was he only mumbled, "O yes," +instead of contradicting so mad a remark. And the stranger led the way +to the room where the telephone was. +</P> + +<P> +"I think you will find my firm will give a good price for it," he +said: and without more ado he began with a pair of pincers to cut the +wire of the telephone and the receiver. The old waiter who looked +after the club they had left shuffling round the other room putting +things away for the night. +</P> + +<P> +"Whatever are you doing of?" said my friend. +</P> + +<P> +"This way," said the stranger. Along a passage they went and away to +the back of the club and there the stranger leaned out of a window and +fastened the severed wires to the lightning conductor. My friend has +no doubt of that, a broad ribbon of copper, half an inch wide, perhaps +wider, running down from the roof to the earth. +</P> + +<P> +"Hell," said the stranger with his mouth to the telephone; then +silence for a while with his ear to the receiver, leaning out of the +window. And then my friend heard his poor virtue being several times +repeated, and then words like Yes and No. +</P> + +<P> +"They offer you three jokes," said the stranger, "which shall make all +who hear them simply die of laughter." +</P> + +<P> +I think my friend was reluctant then to have anything more to do with +it, he wanted to go home; he said he didn't want jokes. +</P> + +<P> +"They think very highly of your virtue," I said the stranger. And at +that, odd as it seems, my friend wavered, for logically if they +thought highly of the goods they should have paid a higher price. +</P> + +<P> +"O all right," he said. The extraordinary document that the agent drew +from his pocket ran something like this: +</P> + +<P> +"I . . . . . in consideration of three new jokes received from Mr. +Montagu-Montague, hereinafter to be called the agent, and warranted to +be as by him stated and described, do assign to him, yield, abrogate +and give up all recognitions, emoluments, perquisites or rewards due +to me Here or Elsewhere on account of the following virtue, to wit and +that is to say . . . . . that all women are to me equally ugly." The +last eight words being filled in in ink by Mr. Montagu-Montague. +</P> + +<P> +My poor friend duly signed it. "These are the jokes," said the agent. +They were boldly written on three slips of paper. "They don't seem +very funny," said the other when he had read them. "You are immune," +said Mr. Montagu-Montague, "but anyone else who hears them will simply +die of laughter: that we guarantee." +</P> + +<P> +An American firm had bought at the price of waste paper a hundred +thousand copies of The Dictionary of Electricity written when +electricity was new,—and it had turned out that even at the time its +author had not rightly grasped his subject,—the firm had paid +£10,000 to a respectable English paper (no other in fact than +the Briton) for the use of its name, and to obtain orders for The +Briton Dictionary of Electricity was the occupation of my unfortunate +friend. He seems to have had a way with him. Apparently he knew by a +glance at a man, or a look round at his garden, whether to recommend +the book as "an absolutely up-to-date achievement, the finest thing of +its kind in the world of modern science" or as "at once quaint and +imperfect, a thing to buy and to keep as a tribute to those dear old +times that are gone." So he went on with this quaint though usual +business, putting aside the memory of that night as an occasion on +which he had "somewhat exceeded" as they say in circles where a spade +is called neither a spade nor an agricultural implement but is never +mentioned at all, being altogether too vulgar. And then one night he +put on his suit of dress clothes and found the three jokes in the +pocket. That was perhaps a shock. He seems to have thought it over +carefully then, and the end of it was he gave a dinner at the club to +twenty of the members. The dinner would do no harm he thought—might +even help the business, and if the joke came off he would be a witty +fellow, and two jokes still up his sleeve. +</P> + +<P> +Whom he invited or how the dinner went I do not know for he began to +speak rapidly and came straight to the point, as a stick that nears a +cataract suddenly goes faster and faster. The dinner was duly served, +the port went round, the twenty men were smoking, two waiters +loitered, when he after carefully reading the best of the jokes told +it down the table. They laughed. One man accidentally inhaled his +cigar smoke and spluttered, the two waiters overheard and tittered +behind their hands, one man, a bit of a raconteur himself, quite +clearly wished not to laugh, but his veins swelled dangerously in +trying to keep it back, and in the end he laughed too. The joke had +succeeded; my friend smiled at the thought; he wished to say little +deprecating things to the man on his right; but the laughter did not +stop and the waiters would not be silent. He waited, and waited +wondering; the laughter went roaring on, distinctly louder now, and +the waiters as loud as any. It had gone on for three or four minutes +when this frightful thought leaped up all at once in his mind: <I>it was +forced laughter!</I> However could anything have induced him to tell so +foolish a joke? He saw its absurdity as in revelation; and the more he +thought of it as these people laughed at him, even the waiters too, +the more he felt that he could never lift up his head with his brother +touts again. And still the laughter went roaring and choking on. He +was very angry. There was not much use in having a friend, he thought, +if one silly joke could not be overlooked; he had fed them too. And +then he felt that he had no friends at all, and his anger faded away, +and a great unhappiness came down on him, and he got quietly up and +slunk from the room and slipped away from the club. Poor man, he +scarcely had the heart next morning even to glance at the papers, but +you did not need to glance at them, big type was bandied about that +day as though it were common type, the words of the headlines stared +at you; and the headlines said:—Twenty-Two Dead Men at a Club. +</P> + +<P> +Yes, he saw it then: the laughter had not stopped, some had probably +burst blood vessels, some must have choked, some succumbed to nausea, +heart-failure must have mercifully taken some, and they were his +friends after all, and none had escaped, not I even the waiters. It +was that infernal joke. +</P> + +<P> +He thought out swiftly, and remembers clear as a nightmare, the drive +to Victoria Station, the boat-train to Dover and going disguised to +the boat: and on the boat pleasantly smiling, almost obsequious, two +constables that wished to speak for a moment with Mr. Watkyn-Jones. +That was his name. +</P> + +<P> +In a third-class carriage with handcuffs on his wrists, with forced +conversation when any, he returned between his captors to Victoria to +be tried for murder at the High Court of Bow. +</P> + +<P> +At the trial he was defended by a young barrister of considerable +ability who had gone into the Cabinet in order to enhance his forensic +reputation. And he was ably defended. It is no exaggeration to say +that the speech for the defence showed it to be usual, even natural +and right, to give a dinner to twenty men and to slip away without +ever saying a word, leaving all, with the waiters, dead. That was the +impression left in the minds of the jury. And Mr. Watkyn-Jones felt +himself practically free, with all the advantages of his awful +experience, and his two jokes intact. But lawyers are still +experimenting with the new act which allows a prisoner to give +evidence. They do not like to make no use of it for fear they may be +thought not to know of the act, and a lawyer who is not in touch with +the very latest laws is soon regarded as not being up to date and he +may drop as much as £50,000 a year in fees. And therefore though +it always hangs their clients they hardly like to neglect it. +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Watkyn-Jones was put in the witness box. There he told the simple +truth, and a very poor affair it seemed after the impassioned and +beautiful things that were uttered by the counsel for the defence. Men +and women had wept when they heard that. They did not weep when they +heard Watkyn-Jones. Some tittered. It no longer seemed a right and +natural thing to leave one's guests all dead and to fly the country. +Where was Justice, they asked, if anyone could do that? And when his +story was told the judge rather happily asked if he could make him die +of laughter too. And what was the joke? For in so grave a place as a +Court of Justice no fatal effects need be feared. And hesitatingly the +prisoner pulled from his pocket the three slips of paper: and +perceived for the first time that the one on which the first and best +joke had been written had become quite blank. Yet he could remember +it, and only too clearly. And he told it from memory to the Court. +</P> + +<P> +"An Irishman once on being asked by his master to buy a morning paper +said in his usual witty way, 'Arrah and begorrah and I will be after +wishing you the top of the morning.'" +</P> + +<P> +No joke sounds quite so good the second time it is told, it seems to +lose something of its essence, but Watkyn-Jones was not prepared for +the awful stillness with which this one was received; nobody smiled; +and it had killed twenty-two men. The joke was bad, devilish bad; +counsel for the defence was frowning, and an usher was looking in a +little bag for something the judge wanted. And at this moment, as +though from far away, without his wishing it, there entered the +prisoner's head, and shone there and would not go, this old bad +proverb: "As well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb." The jury seemed +to be just about to retire. "I have another joke," said Watkyn-Jones, +and then and there he read from the second slip of paper. He watched +the paper curiously to see if it would go blank, occupying his mind +with so slight a thing as men in dire distress very often do, and the +words were almost immediately expunged, swept swiftly as if by a hand, +and he saw the paper before him as blank as the first. And they were +laughing this time, judge, jury, counsel for the prosecution, audience +and all, and the grim men that watched him upon either side. There was +no mistake about this joke. +</P> + +<P> +He did not stay to see the end, and walked out with his eyes fixed on +the ground, unable to bear a glance to the right or left. And since +then he has wandered, avoiding ports and roaming lonely places. Two +years have known him on the Highland roads, often hungry, always +friendless, always changing his district, wandering lonely on with his +deadly joke. +</P> + +<P> +Sometimes for a moment he will enter inns, driven by cold and hunger, +and hear men in the evening telling jokes and even challenging him; +but he sits desolate and silent, lest his only weapon should escape +from him and his last joke spread mourning in a hundred cots. His +beard has grown and turned grey and is mixed with moss and weeds, so +that no one, I think, not even the police, would recognise him now for +that dapper tout that sold The Briton Dictionary of Electricity in +such a different land. +</P> + +<P> +He paused, his story told, and then his lip quivered as though he +would say more, and I believe he intended then and there to yield up +his deadly joke on that Highland road and to go forth then with his +three blank slips of paper, perhaps to a felon's cell, with one more +murder added to his crimes, but harmless at last to man. I therefore +hurried on, and only heard him mumbling sadly behind me, standing +bowed and broken, all alone in the twilight, perhaps telling over and +over even then the last infernal joke. +</P> + +<BR><BR> + +<P CLASS="finis"> + THE END<BR> +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR><BR> + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13821 ***</div> +</BODY> + +</HTML> + diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..259368a --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #13821 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13821) diff --git a/old/13821-8.txt b/old/13821-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5a778f0 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13821-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4369 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Tales of Wonder, by +Baron Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett Dunsany + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Tales of Wonder + +Author: Baron Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett Dunsany + +Posting Date: December 12, 2010 [EBook #13821] +Release Date: October 21, 2004 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF WONDER *** + + + + +Produced by Tom Harris. HTML version by Al Haines. + + + + + + + + + +TALES OF WONDER + +by Lord Dunsany + + + + + A Tale of London + Thirteen at Table + The City on Mallington Moor + Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn + The Bad Old Woman in Black + The Bird of the Difficult Eye + The Long Porter's Tale + The Loot of Loma + The Secret of the Sea + How Ali Came to the Black Country + The Bureau d'Echange de Maux + A Story of Land and Sea + + Guarantee To The Reader + + A Tale of the Equator + A Narrow Escape + The Watch-tower + How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire + The Three Sailors' Gambit + The Exiles Club + The Three Infernal Jokes + + + + +Preface + + Ebrington Barracks + + Aug. 16th 1916. + +I do not know where I may be when this preface is read. As I write it +in August 1916, I am at Ebrington Barracks, Londonderry, recovering +from a slight wound. But it does not greatly matter where I am; my +dreams are here before you amongst the following pages; and writing in +a day when life is cheap, dreams seem to me all the dearer, the only +things that survive. + +Just now the civilization of Europe seems almost to have ceased, and +nothing seems to grow in her torn fields but death, yet this is only +for a while and dreams will come back again and bloom as of old, all +the more radiantly for this terrible ploughing, as the flowers will +bloom again where the trenches are and the primroses shelter in +shell-holes for many seasons, when weeping Liberty has come home to +Flanders. + +To some of you in America this may seem an unnecessary and wasteful +quarrel, as other people's quarrels often are; but it comes to this +that though we are all killed there will be songs again, but if we +were to submit and so survive there could be neither songs nor dreams, +nor any joyous free things any more. + +And do not regret the lives that are wasted amongst us, or the work +that the dead would have done, for war is no accident that man's care +could have averted, but is as natural, though not as regular, as the +tides; as well regret the things that the tide has washed away, which +destroys and cleanses and crumbles, and spares the minutest shells. + +And now I will write nothing further about our war, but offer you +these books of dreams from Europe as one throws things of value, if +only to oneself, at the last moment out of a burning house. + + DUNSANY. + + + + + +A Tale of London + +"Come," said the Sultan to his hasheesh-eater in the very furthest +lands that know Bagdad, "dream to me now of London." + +And the hasheesh-eater made a low obeisance and seated himself +cross-legged upon a purple cushion broidered with golden poppies, on +the floor, beside an ivory bowl where the hasheesh was, and having +eaten liberally of the hasheesh blinked seven times and spoke thus: + +"O Friend of God, know then that London is the desiderate town even of +all Earth's cities. Its houses are of ebony and cedar which they roof +with thin copper plates that the hand of Time turns green. They have +golden balconies in which amethysts are where they sit and watch the +sunset. Musicians in the gloaming steal softly along the ways; unheard +their feet fall on the white sea-sand with which those ways are +strewn, and in the darkness suddenly they play on dulcimers and +instruments with strings. Then are there murmurs in the balconies +praising their skill, then are there bracelets cast down to them for +reward and golden necklaces and even pearls. + +"Indeed but the city is fair; there is by the sandy ways a paving all +alabaster, and the lanterns along it are of chrysoprase, all night +long they shine green, but of amethyst are the lanterns of the +balconies. + +"As the musicians go along the ways dancers gather about them and +dance upon the alabaster pavings, for joy and not for hire. Sometimes +a window opens far up in an ebony palace and a wreath is cast down to +a dancer or orchids showered upon them. + +"Indeed of many cities have I dreamt but of none fairer, through many +marble metropolitan gates hasheesh has led me, but London is its +secret, the last gate of all; the ivory bowl has nothing more to show. +And indeed even now the imps that crawl behind me and that will not +let me be are plucking me by the elbow and bidding my spirit return, +for well they know that I have seen too much. 'No, not London,' they +say; and therefore I will speak of some other city, a city of some +less mysterious land, and anger not the imps with forbidden things. I +will speak of Persepolis or famous Thebes." + +A shade of annoyance crossed the Sultan's face, a look of thunder that +you had scarcely seen, but in those lands they watched his visage +well, and though his spirit was wandering far away and his eyes were +bleared with hasheesh yet that storyteller there and then perceived +the look that was death, and sent his spirit back at once to London as +a man runs into his house when the thunder comes. + +"And therefore," he continued, "in the desiderate city, in London, all +their camels are pure white. Remarkable is the swiftness of their +horses, that draw their chariots that are of ivory along those sandy +ways and that are of surpassing lightness, they have little bells of +silver upon their horses' heads. O Friend of God, if you perceived +their merchants! The glory of their dresses in the noonday! They are +no less gorgeous than those butterflies that float about their +streets. They have overcloaks of green and vestments of azure, huge +purple flowers blaze on their overcloaks, the work of cunning needles, +the centres of the flowers are of gold and the petals of purple. All +their hats are black--" ("No, no," said the Sultan)--"but irises are +set about the brims, and green plumes float above the crowns of them. + +"They have a river that is named the Thames, on it their ships go up +with violet sails bringing incense for the braziers that perfume the +streets, new songs exchanged for gold with alien tribes, raw silver +for the statues of their heroes, gold to make balconies where the +women sit, great sapphires to reward their poets with, the secrets of +old cities and strange lands, the earning of the dwellers in far +isles, emeralds, diamonds, and the hoards of the sea. And whenever a +ship comes into port and furls its violet sails and the news spreads +through London that she has come, then all the merchants go down to +the river to barter, and all day long the chariots whirl through the +streets, and the sound of their going is a mighty roar all day until +evening, their roar is even like--" + +"Not so," said the Sultan. + +"Truth is not hidden from the Friend of God," replied the +hasheesh-eater, "I have erred being drunken with the hasheesh, for in +the desiderate city, even in London, so thick upon the ways is the +white sea-sand with which the city glimmers that no sound comes from +the path of the charioteers, but they go softly like a light +sea-wind." ("It is well," said the Sultan.) "They go softly down to +the port where the vessels are, and the merchandise in from the sea, +amongst the wonders that the sailors show, on land by the high ships, +and softly they go though swiftly at evening back to their homes. + +"O would that the Munificent, the Illustrious, the Friend of God, had +even seen these things, had seen the jewellers with their empty +baskets, bargaining there by the ships, when the barrels of emeralds +came up from the hold. Or would that he had seen the fountains there +in silver basins in the midst of the ways. I have seen small spires +upon their ebony houses and the spires were all of gold, birds +strutted there upon the copper roofs from golden spire to spire that +have no equal for splendour in all the woods of the world. And over +London the desiderate city the sky is so deep a blue that by this +alone the traveller may know where he has come, and may end his +fortunate journey. Nor yet for any colour of the sky is there too +great heat in London, for along its ways a wind blows always from the +South gently and cools the city. + +"Such, O Friend of God, is indeed the city of London, lying very far +off on the yonder side of Bagdad, without a peer for beauty or +excellence of its ways among the towns of the earth or cities of song; +and even so, as I have told, its fortunate citizens dwell, with their +hearts ever devising beautiful things and from the beauty of their own +fair work that is more abundant around them every year, receiving new +inspirations to work things more beautiful yet." + +"And is their government good?" the Sultan said. + +"It is most good," said the hasheesh-eater, and fell backwards upon +the floor. + +He lay thus and was silent. And when the Sultan perceived he would +speak no more that night he smiled and lightly applauded. + +And there was envy in that palace, in lands beyond Bagdad, of all that +dwell in London. + + + + + +Thirteen at Table + +In front of a spacious fireplace of the old kind, when the logs were +well alight, and men with pipes and glasses were gathered before it in +great easeful chairs, and the wild weather outside and the comfort +that was within, and the season of the year--for it was Christmas--and +the hour of the night, all called for the weird or uncanny, then out +spoke the ex-master of foxhounds and told this tale. + +I once had an odd experience too. It was when I had the Bromley and +Sydenham, the year I gave them up--as a matter of fact it was the last +day of the season. It was no use going on because there were no foxes +left in the county, and London was sweeping down on us. You could see +it from the kennels all along the skyline like a terrible army in +grey, and masses of villas every year came skirmishing down our +valleys. Our coverts were mostly on the hills, and as the town came +down upon the valleys the foxes used to leave them and go right away +out of the county and they never returned. I think they went by night +and moved great distances. Well it was early April and we had drawn +blank all day, and at the last draw of all, the very last of the +season, we found a fox. He left the covert with his back to London and +its railways and villas and wire and slipped away towards the chalk +country and open Kent. I felt as I once felt as a child on one +summer's day when I found a door in a garden where I played left +luckily ajar, and I pushed it open and the wide lands were before me +and waving fields of corn. + +We settled down into a steady gallop and the fields began to drift by +under us, and a great wind arose full of fresh breath. We left the +clay lands where the bracken grows and came to a valley at the edge of +the chalk. As we went down into it we saw the fox go up the other side +like a shadow that crosses the evening, and glide into a wood that +stood on the top. We saw a flash of primroses in the wood and we were +out the other side, hounds hunting perfectly and the fox still going +absolutely straight. It began to dawn on me then that we were in for a +great hunt, I took a deep breath when I thought of it; the taste of +the air of that perfect Spring afternoon as it came to one galloping, +and the thought of a great run, were together like some old rare wine. +Our faces now were to another valley, large fields led down to it, +with easy hedges, at the bottom of it a bright blue stream went +singing and a rambling village smoked, the sunlight on the opposite +slopes danced like a fairy; and all along the top old woods were +frowning, but they dreamed of Spring. The "field" had fallen of and +were far behind and my only human companion was James, my old first +whip, who had a hound's instinct, and a personal animosity against a +fox that even embittered his speech. + +Across the valley the fox went as straight as a railway line, and +again we went without a check straight through the woods at the top. I +remember hearing men sing or shout as they walked home from work, and +sometimes children whistled; the sounds came up from the village to +the woods at the top of the valley. After that we saw no more +villages, but valley after valley arose and fell before us as though +we were voyaging some strange and stormy sea, and all the way before +us the fox went dead up-wind like the fabulous Flying Dutchman. There +was no one in sight now but my first whip and me, we had both of us +got on to our second horses as we drew the last covert. + +Two or three times we checked in those great lonely valleys beyond the +village, but I began to have inspirations, I felt a strange certainty +within me that this fox was going on straight up-wind till he died or +until night came and we could hunt no longer, so I reversed ordinary +methods and only cast straight ahead and always we picked up the scent +again at once. I believe that this fox was the last one left in the +villa-haunted lands and that he was prepared to leave them for remote +uplands far from men, that if we had come the following day he would +not have been there, and that we just happened to hit off his journey. + +Evening began to descend upon the valleys, still the hounds drifted +on, like the lazy but unresting shadows of clouds upon a summer's day, +we heard a shepherd calling to his dog, we saw two maidens move +towards a hidden farm, one of them singing softly; no other sounds, +but ours, disturbed the leisure and the loneliness of haunts that +seemed not yet to have known the inventions of steam and gun-powder +(even as China, they say, in some of her further mountains does not +yet know that she has fought Japan). + +And now the day and our horses were wearing out, but that resolute fox +held on. I began to work out the run and to wonder where we were. The +last landmark I had ever seen before must have been over five miles +back and from there to the start was at least ten miles more. If only +we could kill! Then the sun set. I wondered what chance we had of +killing our fox. I looked at James' face as he rode beside me. He did +not seem to have lost any confidence yet his horse was as tired as +mine. It was a good clear twilight and the scent was as strong as +ever, and the fences were easy enough, but those valleys were terribly +trying and they still rolled on and on. It looked as if the light +would outlast all possible endurance both of the fox and the horses, +if the scent held good and he did not go to ground, otherwise night +would end it. For long we had seen no houses and no roads, only chalk +slopes with the twilight on them, and here and there some sheep, and +scattered copses darkening in the evening. At some moment I seemed to +realise all at once that the light was spent and that darkness was +hovering, I looked at James, he was solemnly shaking his head. +Suddenly in a little wooded valley we saw climb over the oaks the +red-brown gables of a queer old house, at that instant I saw the fox +scarcely heading by fifty yards. We blundered through a wood into full +sight of the house, but no avenue led up to it or even a path nor were +there any signs of wheel-marks anywhere. Already lights shone here and +there in windows. We were in a park, and a fine park, but unkempt +beyond credibility; brambles grew everywhere. It was too dark to see +the fox any more but we knew he was dead beat, the hounds were just +before us,--and a four-foot railing of oak. I shouldn't have tried it +on a fresh horse the beginning of a run, and here was a horse near his +last gasp. But what a run! an event standing out in a lifetime, and +the hounds close up on their fox, slipping into the darkness as I +hesitated. I decided to try it. My horse rose about eight inches and +took it fair with his breast, and the oak log flew into handfuls of +wet decay--it rotten with years. And then we were on a lawn and at the +far end of it the hounds were tumbling over their fox. Fox, hounds and +light were all done together at the of a twenty-mile point. We made +some noise then, but nobody came out of the queer old house. + +I felt pretty stiff as I walked round to the hall door with the mask +and the brush while James went with the hounds and the two horses to +look for the stables. I rang a bell marvellously encrusted with rust, +and after a long while the door opened a little way revealing a hall +with much old armour in it and the shabbiest butler that I have ever +known. + +I asked him who lived there. Sir Richard Arlen. I explained that my +horse could go no further that night and that I wished to ask Sir +Richard Arlen for a bed for the night. + +"O, no one ever comes here, sir," said the butler. + +I pointed out that I had come. + +"I don't think it would be possible, sir," he said. + +This annoyed me and I asked to see Sir Richard, and insisted until he +came. Then I apologised and explained the situation. He looked only +fifty, but a 'Varsity oar on the wall with the date of the early +seventies, made him older than that; his face had something of the shy +look of the hermit; he regretted that he had not room to put me up. I +was sure that this was untrue, also I had to be put up there, there +was nowhere else within miles, so I almost insisted. Then to my +astonishment he turned to the butler and they talked it over in an +undertone. At last they seemed to think that they could manage it, +though clearly with reluctance. It was by now seven o' clock and Sir +Richard told me he dined at half past seven. There was no question of +clothes for me other than those I stood in, as my host was shorter and +broader. He showed me presently to the drawing-room and there he +reappeared before half past seven in evening dress and a white +waistcoat. The drawing-room was large and contained old furniture but +it was rather worn than venerable, an Aubusson carpet flapped about +the floor, the wind seemed momently to enter the room, and old +draughts haunted corners; the stealthy feet of rats that were never at +rest indicated the extent of the ruin that time had wrought in the +wainscot; somewhere far off a shutter flapped to and fro, the +guttering candles were insufficient to light so large a room. The +gloom that these things suggested was quite in keeping with Sir +Richard's first remark to me after he entered the room: "I must tell +you, sir, that I have led a wicked life. O, a very wicked life." + +Such confidences from a man much older than oneself after one has +known him for half an hour are so rare that any possible answer merely +does not suggest itself. I said rather slowly, "O, really," and +chiefly to forestall another such remark I said "What a charming house +you have." + +"Yes," he said, "I have not left it for nearly forty years. Since I +left the 'Varsity. One is young there, you know, and one has +opportunities; but I make no excuses, no excuses." And the door +slipping its rusty latch, came drifting on the draught into the room, +and the long carpet flapped and the hangings upon the walls, then the +draught fell rustling away and the door slammed to again. + +"Ah, Marianne," he said, "we have a guest to-night. Mr. Linton. This +is Marianne Gib." And everything became clear to me. "Mad," I said to +myself, for no one had entered the room. + +The rats ran up the length of the room behind the wainscot +ceaselessly, and the wind unlatched the door again and the folds of +the carpet fluttered up to our feet and stopped there, for our weight +held it down. + +"Let me introduce Mr. Linton," said my host--"Lady Mary Errinjer." + +The door slammed back again. I bowed politely. Even had I been invited +I should have humoured him, but it was the very least that an +uninvited guest could do. + +This kind of thing happened eleven times, the rustling, and the +fluttering of the carpet and the footsteps of the rats, and the +restless door, and then the sad voice of my host introducing me to +phantoms. Then for some while we waited while I struggled with the +situation; conversation flowed slowly. And again the draught came +trailing up the room, while the flaring candles filled it with +hurrying shadows. "Ah, late again, Cicely," said my host in his soft, +mournful way. "Always late, Cicely." Then I went down to dinner with +that man and his mind and the twelve phantoms that haunted it. I found +a long table with fine old silver on it and places laid for fourteen. +The butler was now in evening dress, there were fewer draughts in the +dining-room, the scene was less gloomy there. "Will you sit next to +Rosalind at the other end," Richard said to me. "She always takes the +head of the table, I wronged her most of all." I said, "I shall be +delighted." + +I looked at the butler closely, but never did I see by any expression +of his face or by anything that he did any suggestion that he waited +upon less than fourteen people in the complete possession of all their +faculties. Perhaps a dish appeared to be refused more often than taken +but every glass was equally filled with champagne. At first I found +little to say, but when Sir Richard speaking from the far end of the +table said, "You are tired, Mr. Linton," I was reminded that I owed +something to a host upon whom I had forced myself. It was excellent +champagne and with the help of a second glass I made the effort to +begin a conversation with a Miss Helen Errold for whom the place upon +one side of me was laid. It came more easy to me very soon, I +frequently paused in my monologue, like Mark Anthony, for a reply, and +sometimes I turned and spoke to Miss Rosalind Smith. Sir Richard at +the other end talked sorrowfully on, he spoke as a condemned man might +speak to his judge, and yet somewhat as a judge might speak to one +that he once condemned wrongly. My own mind began to turn to mournful +things. I drank another glass of champagne, but I was still thirsty. I +felt as if all the moisture in my body had been blown away over the +downs of Kent by the wind up which we had galloped. Still I was not +talking enough; my host was looking at me. I made another effort, +after all I had something to talk about, a twenty-mile point is not +often seen in a lifetime, especially south of the Thames. I began to +describe the run to Rosalind Smith. I could see then that my host was +pleased, the sad look in his face gave a kind of a flicker, like mist +upon the mountains on a miserable day when a faint puff comes from the +sea and the mist would lift if it could. And the butler refilled my +glass very attentively. I asked her first if she hunted, and paused +and began my story. I told her where we had found the fox and how fast +and straight he had gone, and how I had got through the village by +keeping to the road, while the little gardens and wire, and then the +river, had stopped the rest of the field. I told her the kind of +country that we crossed and how splendid it looked in the Spring, and +how mysterious the valleys were as soon as the twilight came, and what +a glorious horse I had and how wonderfully he went. I was so fearfully +thirsty after the great hunt that I had to stop for a moment now and +then, but I went on with my description of that famous run, for I had +warmed to the subject, and after all there was nobody to tell of it +but me except my old whipper-in, and "the old fellow's probably drunk +by now," I thought. I described to her minutely the exact spot in the +run at which it had come to me clearly that this was going to be the +greatest hunt in the whole history of Kent. Sometimes I forgot +incidents that had happened as one well may in a run of twenty miles, +and then I had to fill in the gaps by inventing. I was pleased to be +able to make the party go off well by means of my conversation, and +besides that the lady to whom I was speaking was extremely pretty: I +do not mean in a flesh and blood kind of way but there were little +shadowy lines about the chair beside me that hinted at an unusually +graceful figure when Miss Rosalind Smith was alive; and I began to +perceive that what I first mistook for the smoke of guttering candles +and a table-cloth waving in the draught was in reality an extremely +animated company who listened, and not without interest, to my story +of by far the greatest hunt that the world had ever known: indeed I +told them that I would confidently go further and predict that never +in the history of the world would there be such a run again. Only my +throat was terribly dry. And then as it seemed they wanted to hear +more about my horse. I had forgotten that I had come there on a horse, +but when they reminded me it all came back; they looked so charming +leaning over the table intent upon what I said, that I told them +everything they wanted to know. Everything was going so pleasantly if +only Sir Richard would cheer up. I heard his mournful voice every now +and then--these were very pleasant people if only he would take them +the right way. I could understand that he regretted his past, but the +early seventies seemed centuries away and I felt sure that he +misunderstood these ladies, they were not revengeful as he seemed to +suppose. I wanted to show him how cheerful they really were, and so I +made a joke and they an laughed at it, and then I chaffed them a bit, +especially Rosalind, and nobody resented it in the very least. And +still Sir Richard sat there with that unhappy look, like one that has +ended weeping because it is vain and has not the consolation even of +tears. + +We had been a long time there and many of the candles had burned out, +but there was light enough. I was glad to have an audience for my +exploit, and being happy myself I was determined Sir Richard should +be. I made more jokes and they still laughed good-naturedly; some of +the jokes were a little broad perhaps but no harm was meant. And +then--I do not wish to excuse myself--but I had had a harder day than +I ever had had before and without knowing it I must have been +completely exhausted; in this state the champagne had found me, and +what would have been harmless at any other time must somehow have got +the better of me when quite tired out--anyhow I went too far, I made +some joke--I cannot in the least remember what--that suddenly seemed +to offend them. I felt all at once a commotion in the air, I looked up +and saw that they had all arisen from the table and were sweeping +towards the door: I had not time to open it but it blew open on a +wind, I could scarcely see what Sir Richard was doing because only two +candles were left, I think the rest blew out when the ladies suddenly +rose. I sprang up to apologise, to assure them--and then fatigue +overcame me as it had overcome my horse at the last fence, I clutched +at the table but the cloth came away and then I fell. The fall, and +the darkness on the floor and the pent up fatigue of the day overcame +me all three together. + +The sun shone over glittering fields and in at a bedroom window and +thousands of birds were chanting to the Spring, and there I was in an +old four-poster bed in a quaint old panelled bedroom, fully dressed +and wearing long muddy boots; someone had taken my spurs and that was +all. For a moment I failed to realise and then it all came back, my +enormity and the pressing need of an abject apology to Sir Richard. I +pulled an embroidered bell rope until the butler came. He came in +perfectly cheerful and indescribably shabby. I asked him if Sir +Richard was up, and he said he had just gone down, and told me to my +amazement that it was twelve o'clock. I asked to be shown in to Sir +Richard at once. He was in his smoking-room. "Good morning," he said +cheerfully the moment I went in. I went directly to the matter in +hand. "I fear that I insulted some ladies in your house--" I began. + +"You did indeed," he said, "You did indeed." And then he burst into +tears and took me by the hand. "How can I ever thank you?" he said to +me then. "We have been thirteen at table for thirty years and I never +dared to insult them because I had wronged them all, and now you have +done it and I know they will never dine here again." And for a long +time he still held my hand, and then he gave it a grip and a kind of a +shake which I took to mean "Goodbye" and I drew my hand away then and +left the house. And I found James in the stables with the hounds and +asked him how he had fared, and James, who is a man of very few words, +said he could not rightly remember, and I got my spurs from the butler +and climbed on to my horse and slowly we rode away from that queer old +house, and slowly we wended home, for the hounds were footsore but +happy and the horses were tired still. And when we recalled that the +hunting season was ended we turned our faces to Spring and thought of +the new things that try to replace the old. And that very year I +heard, and have often heard since, of dances and happier dinners at +Sir Richard Arlen's house. + + + + + +The City on Mallington Moor + +Besides the old shepherd at Lingwold whose habits render him +unreliable I am probably the only person that has ever seen the city +on Mallington Moor. + +I had decided one year to do no London season; partly because of the +ugliness of the things in the shops, partly because of the unresisted +invasions of German bands, partly perhaps because some pet parrots in +the oblong where I lived had learned to imitate cab-whistles; but +chiefly because of late there had seized me in London a quite +unreasonable longing for large woods and waste spaces, while the very +thought of little valleys underneath copses full of bracken and +foxgloves was a torment to me and every summer in London the longing +grew worse till the thing was becoming intolerable. So I took a stick +and a knapsack and began walking northwards, starting at Tetherington +and sleeping at inns, where one could get real salt, and the waiter +spoke English and where one had a name instead of a number; and though +the tablecloth might be dirty the windows opened so that the air was +clean, where one had the excellent company of farmers and men of the +wold, who could not be thoroughly vulgar, because they had not the +money to be so even if they had wished it. At first the novelty was +delightful, and then one day in a queer old inn up Uthering way, +beyond Lingwold, I heard for the first time the rumour of the city +said to be on Mallington Moor. They spoke of it quite casually over +their glasses of beer, two farmers at the inn. "They say the queer +folk be at Mallington with their city," one farmer said. "Travelling +they seem to be," said the other. And more came in then and the rumour +spread. And then, such are the contradictions of our little likes and +dislikes and all the whims that drive us, that I, who had come so far +to avoid cities, had a great longing all of a sudden for throngs again +and the great hives of Man, and then and there determined on that +bright Sunday morning to come to Mallington and there search for the +city that rumour spoke of so strangely. + +Mallington Moor, from all that they said of it, was hardly a likely +place to find a thing by searching. It was a huge high moor, very +bleak and desolate and altogether trackless. It seemed a lonely place +from what they said. The Normans when they came had called it Mal Lieu +and afterwards Mallintown and so it changed to Mallington. Though what +a town can ever have had to do with a place so utterly desolate I do +not know. And before that some say that the Saxons called it Baplas, +which I believe to be a corruption of Bad Place. + +And beyond the mere rumour of a beautiful city all of white marble and +with a foreign look up on Mallington Moor, beyond this I could not +get. None of them had seen it himself, "only heard of it like," and my +questions, rather than stimulating conversation, would always stop it +abruptly. I was no more fortunate on the road to Mallington until the +Tuesday, when I was quite near it; I had been walking two days from +the inn where I had heard the rumour and could see the great hill +steep as a headland on which Mallington lay, standing up on the +skyline: the hill was covered with grass, where anything grew at all, +but Mallington Moor is all heather; it is just marked Moor on the map; +nobody goes there and they do not trouble to name it. It was there +where the gaunt hill first came into sight, by the roadside as I +enquired for the marble city of some labourers by the way, that I was +directed, partly I think in derision, to the old shepherd of Lingwold. +It appeared that he, following sometimes sheep that had strayed, and +wandering far from Lingwold, came sometimes up to the edge of +Mallington Moor, and that he would come back from these excursions and +shout through the villages, raving of a city of white marble and +gold-tipped minarets. And hearing me asking questions of this city +they had laughed and directed me to the shepherd of Lingwold. One +well-meant warning they gave me as I went--the old man was not +reliable. + +And late that evening I saw the thatches of Lingwold sheltering under +the edge of that huge hill that Atlas-like held up those miles of moor +to the great winds and heaven. + +They knew less of the city in Lingwold than elsewhere but they knew +the whereabouts of the man I wanted, though they seemed a little +ashamed of him. There was an inn in Lingwold that gave me shelter, +whence in the morning, equipped with purchases, I set out to find +their shepherd. And there he was on the edge of Mallington Moor +standing motionless, gazing stupidly at his sheep; his hands trembled +continually and his eyes had a blear look, but he was quite sober, +wherein all Lingwold had wronged him. + +And then and there I asked him of the city and he said he had never +heard tell of any such place. And I said, "Come, come, you must pull +yourself together." And he looked angrily at me; but when he saw me +draw from amongst my purchases a full bottle of whiskey and a big +glass he became more friendly. As I poured out the whiskey I asked him +again about the marble city on Mallington Moor but he seemed quite +honestly to know nothing about it. The amount of whiskey he drank was +quite incredible, but I seldom express surprise and once more I asked +him the way to the wonderful city. His hand was steadier now and his +eyes more intelligent and he said that he had heard something of some +such city, but his memory was evidently blurred and he was still +unable to give me useful directions. I consequently gave him another +tumbler, which he drank off like the first without any water, and +almost at once he was a different man. The trembling in his hands +stopped altogether, his eye became as quick as a younger man's, he +answered my questions readily and frankly, and, what was more +important to me still, his old memory became alert and clear for even +minutest details. His gratitude to myself I need not mention, for I +make no pretence that I bought the bottle of whiskey that the old +shepherd enjoyed so much without at least some thought of my own +advantage. Yet it was pleasant to reflect that it was due to me that +he had pulled himself together and steadied his shaking hand and +cleared his mind, recovered his memory and his self-respect. He spoke +to me quite clearly, no longer slurring his words; he had seen the +city first one moonlight night when he was lost in the mist on the big +moor, he had wandered far in the mist, and when it lifted he saw the +city by moonlight. He had no food, but luckily had his flask. There +never was such a city, not even in books. Travellers talked sometimes +of Venice seen from the sea, there might be such a place or there +might not, but, whether or no, it was nothing to the city on +Mallington Moor. Men who read books had talked to him in his time, +hundreds of books, but they never could tell of any city like this. +Why, the place was all of marble, roads, walls and palaces, all pure +white marble, and the tops of the tall thin spires were entirely of +gold. And they were queer folk in the city even for foreigners. And +there were camels, but I cut him short for I thought I could judge for +myself, if there was such a place, and, if not, I was wasting my time +as well as a pint of good whiskey. So I got him to speak of the way, +and after more circumlocution than I needed and more talk of the city +he pointed to a tiny track on the black earth just beside us, a little +twisty way you could hardly see. + +I said the moor was trackless; untrodden of man or dog it certainly +was and seemed to have less to do with the ways of man than any waste +I have seen, but the track the old shepherd showed me, if track it +was, was no more than the track of a hare--an elf-path the old man +called it, Heaven knows what he meant. And then before I left him he +insisted on giving me his flask with the queer strong rum it +contained. Whiskey brings out in some men melancholy, in some +rejoicing, with him it was clearly generosity and he insisted until I +took his rum, though I did not mean to drink it. It was lonely up +there, he said, and bitter cold and the city hard to find, being set +in a hollow, and I should need the rum, and he had never seen the +marble city except on days when he had had his flask: he seemed to +regard that rusted iron flask as a sort of mascot, and in the end I +took it. + +I followed that odd, faint track on the black earth under the heather +till I came to the big grey stone beyond the horizon, where the track +divides into two, and I took the one to the left as the old man told +me. I knew by another stone that I saw far off that I had not lost my +way, nor the old man lied. + +And just as I hoped to see the city's ramparts before the gloaming +fell on that desolate place, I suddenly saw a long high wall of +whiteness with pinnacles here and there thrown up above it, floating +towards me silent and grim as a secret, and knew it for that evil +thing the mist. The sun, though low, was shining on every sprig of +heather, the green and scarlet mosses were shining with it too, it +seemed incredible that in three minutes' time all those colours would +be gone and nothing left all round but a grey darkness. I gave up hope +of finding the city that day, a broader path than mine could have been +quite easily lost. I hastily chose for my bed a thick patch of +heather, wrapped myself in a waterproof cloak, and lay down and made +myself comfortable. And then the mist came. It came like the careful +pulling of lace curtains, then like the drawing of grey blinds; it +shut out the horizon to the north, then to the east and west; it +turned the whole sky white and hid the moor; it came down on it like a +metropolis, only utterly silent, silent and white as tombstones. + +And then I was glad of that strange strong rum, or whatever it was in +the flask that the shepherd gave me, for I did not think that the mist +would clear till night, and I feared the night would be cold. So I +nearly emptied the flask; and, sooner than I expected, I fell asleep, +for the first night out as a rule one does not sleep at once but is +kept awake some while by the little winds and the unfamiliar sound of +the things that wander at night, and that cry to one another far-off +with their queer, faint voices; one misses them afterwards when one +gets to houses again. But I heard none of these sounds in the mist +that evening. + +And then I woke and found that the mist was gone and the sun was just +disappearing under the moor, and I knew that I had not slept for as +long as I thought. And I decided to go on while I could, for I thought +that I was not very far from the city. + +I went on and on along the twisty track, bits of the mist came down +and filled the hollows but lifted again at once so that I saw my way. +The twilight faded as I went, a star appeared, and I was able to see +the track no longer. I could go no further that night, yet before I +lay down to sleep I decided to go and look over the edge of a wide +depression in the moor that I saw a little way off. So I left the +track and walked a few hundred yards, and when I got to the edge the +hollow was full of mist all white underneath me. Another star appeared +and a cold wind arose, and with the wind the mist flapped away like a +curtain. And there was the city. + +Nothing the shepherd had said was the least untrue or even +exaggerated. The poor old man had told the simple truth, there is not +a city like it in the world. What he had called thin spires were +minarets, but the little domes on the top were clearly pure gold as he +said. There were the marble terraces he described and the pure white +palaces covered with carving and hundreds of minarets. The city was +obviously of the East and yet where there should have been crescents +on the domes of the minarets there were golden suns with rays, and +wherever one looked one saw things that obscured its origin. I walked +down to it, and, passing through a wicket gate of gold in a low wall +of white marble, I entered the city. The heather went right up to the +city's edge and beat against the marble wall whenever the wind blew +it. Lights began to twinkle from high windows of blue glass as I +walked up the white street, beautiful copper lanterns were lit up and +let down from balconies by silver chains, from doors ajar came the +sound of voices singing, and then I saw the men. Their faces were +rather grey than black, and they wore beautiful robes of coloured silk +with hems embroidered with gold and some with copper, and sometimes +pacing down the marble ways with golden baskets hung on each side of +them I saw the camels of which the old shepherd spoke. + +The people had kindly faces, but, though they were evidently friendly +to strangers, I could not speak with them being ignorant of their +language, nor were the sounds of the syllables they used like any +language I had ever heard: they sounded more like grouse. + +When I tried to ask them by signs whence they had come with their city +they would only point to the moon, which was bright and full and was +shining fiercely on those marble ways till the city danced in light. +And now there began appearing one by one, slipping softly out through +windows, men with stringed instruments in the balconies. They were +strange instruments with huge bulbs of wood, and they played softly on +them and very beautifully, and their queer voices softly sang to the +music weird dirges of the griefs of their native land wherever that +may be. And far off in the heart of the city others were singing too, +the sound of it came to me wherever I roamed, not loud enough to +disturb my thoughts, but gently turning the mind to pleasant things. +Slender carved arches of marble, as delicate almost as lace, crossed +and re-crossed the ways wherever I went. There was none of that hurry +of which foolish cities boast, nothing ugly or sordid so far as I +could see. I saw that it was a city of beauty and song. I wondered how +they had travelled with all that marble, how they had laid it down on +Mallington Moor, whence they had come and what their resources were, +and determined to investigate closely next morning, for the old +shepherd had not troubled his head to think how the city came, he had +only noted that the city was there (and of course no one believed him, +though that is partly his fault for his dissolute ways). But at night +one can see little and I had walked all day, so I determined to find a +place to rest in. And just as I was wondering whether to ask for +shelter of those silk-robed men by signs or whether to sleep outside +the walls and enter again in the morning, I came to a great archway in +one of the marble houses with two black curtains, embroidered below +with gold, hanging across it. Over the archway were carved apparently +in many tongues the words: "Here strangers rest." In Greek, Latin and +Spanish the sentence was repeated and there was writing also in the +language that you see on the walls of the great temples of Egypt, and +Arabic and what I took to be early Assyrian and one or two languages I +had never seen. I entered through the curtains and found a tesselated +marble court with golden braziers burning sleepy incense swinging by +chains from the roof, all round the walls were comfortable mattresses +lying upon the floor covered with cloths and silks. It must have been +ten o'clock and I was tired. Outside the music still softly filled the +streets, a man had set a lantern down on the marble way, five or six +sat down round him, and he was sonorously telling them a story. Inside +there were some already asleep on the beds, in the middle of the wide +court under the braziers a woman dressed in blue was singing very +gently, she did not move, but sung on and on, I never heard a song +that was so soothing. I lay down on one of the mattresses by the wall, +which was all inlaid with mosaics, and pulled over me some of the +cloths with their beautiful alien work, and almost immediately my +thoughts seemed part of the song that the woman was singing in the +midst of the court under the golden braziers that hung from the high +roof, and the song turned them to dreams, and so I fell asleep. + +A small wind having arisen, I was awakened by a sprig of heather that +beat continually against my face. It was morning on Mallington Moor, +and the city was quite gone. + + + + + +Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn + +In the Hall of the Ancient Company of Milkmen round the great +fireplace at the end, when the winter logs are burning and all the +craft are assembled they tell to-day, as their grandfathers told +before them, why the milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. + +When dawn comes creeping over the edges of hills, peers through the +tree-trunks making wonderful shadows, touches the tops of tall columns +of smoke going up from awakening cottages in the valleys, and breaks +all golden over Kentish fields, when going on tip-toe thence it comes +to the walls of London and slips all shyly up those gloomy streets the +milkman perceives it and shudders. + +A man may be a Milkman's Working Apprentice, may know what borax is +and how to mix it, yet not for that is the story told to him. There +are five men alone that tell that story, five men appointed by the +Master of the Company, by whom each place is filled as it falls +vacant, and if you do not hear it from one of them you hear the story +from no one and so can never know why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + +It is the way of one of these five men, greybeards all and milkmen +from infancy, to rub his hands by the fire when the great logs burn, +and to settle himself more easily in his chair, perhaps to sip some +drink far other than milk, then to look round to see that none are +there to whom it would not be fitting the tale should be told and, +looking from face to face and seeing none but the men of the Ancient +Company, and questioning mutely the rest of the five with his eyes, if +some of the five be there, and receiving their permission, to cough +and to tell the tale. And a great hush falls in the Hall of the +Ancient Company, and something about the shape of the roof and the +rafters makes the tale resonant all down the hall so that the youngest +hears it far away from the fire and knows, and dreams of the day when +perhaps he will tell himself why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + +Not as one tells some casual fact is it told, nor is it commented on +from man to man, but it is told by that great fire only and when the +occasion and the stillness of the room and the merit of the wine and +the profit of all seem to warrant it in the opinion of the five +deputed men: then does one of them tell it, as I have said, not +heralded by any master of ceremonies but as though it arose out of the +warmth of the fire before which his knotted hands would chance to be; +not a thing learned by rote, but told differently by each teller, and +differently according to his mood, yet never has one of them dared to +alter its salient points, there is none so base among the Company of +Milkmen. The Company of Powderers for the Face know of this story and +have envied it, the Worthy Company of Chin-Barbers, and the Company of +Whiskerers; but none have heard it in the Milkmen's Hall, through +whose wall no rumour of the secret goes, and though they have invented +tales of their own Antiquity mocks them. + +This mellow story was ripe with honourable years when milkmen wore +beaver hats, its origin was still mysterious when smocks were the +vogue, men asked one another when Stuarts were on the throne (and only +the Ancient Company knew the answer) why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. It is all for envy of this tale's reputation that +the Company of Powderers for the Face have invented the tale that they +too tell of an evening, "Why the Dog Barks when he hears the step of +the Baker"; and because probably all men know that tale the Company of +the Powderers for the Face have dared to consider it famous. Yet it +lacks mystery and is not ancient, is not fortified with classical +allusion, has no secret lore, is common to all who care for an idle +tale, and shares with "The Wars of the Elves," the Calf-butcher's +tale, and "The Story of the Unicorn and the Rose," which is the tale +of the Company of Horse-drivers, their obvious inferiority. + +But unlike all these tales so new to time, and many another that the +last two centuries tell, the tale that the milkmen tell ripples wisely +on, so full of quotation from the profoundest writers, so full of +recondite allusion, so deeply tinged with all the wisdom of man and +instructive with the experience of all times that they that hear it in +the Milkmen's Hall as they interpret allusion after allusion and trace +obscure quotation lose idle curiosity and forget to question why the +milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. + +You also, O my reader, give not yourself up to curiosity. Consider of +how many it is the bane. Would you to gratify this tear away the +mystery from the Milkmen's Hall and wrong the Ancient Company of +Milkmen? Would they if all the world knew it and it became a common +thing to tell that tale any more that they have told for the last four +hundred years? Rather a silence would settle upon their hall and a +universal regret for the ancient tale and the ancient winter evenings. +And though curiosity were a proper consideration yet even then this is +not the proper place nor this the proper occasion for the Tale. For +the proper place is only the Milkmen's Hall and the proper occasion +only when logs burn well and when wine has been deeply drunken, then +when the candles were burning well in long rows down to the dimness, +down to the darkness and mystery that lie at the end of the hall, then +were you one of the Company, and were I one of the five, would I rise +from my seat by the fireside and tell you with all the embellishments +that it has gleaned from the ages that story that is the heirloom of +the milkmen. And the long candles would burn lower and lower and +gutter and gutter away till they liquefied in their sockets, and +draughts would blow from the shadowy end of the hall stronger and +stronger till the shadows came after them, and still I would hold you +with that treasured story, not by any wit of mine but all for the sake +of its glamour and the times out of which it came; one by one the +candles would flare and die and, when all were gone, by the light of +ominous sparks when each milkman's face looks fearful to his fellow, +you would know, as now you cannot, why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + + + + + +The Bad Old Woman in Black + +The bad old woman in black ran down the street of the ox-butchers. + +Windows at once were opened high up in those crazy gables; heads were +thrust out: it was she. Then there arose the counsel of anxious +voices, calling sideways from window to window or across to opposite +houses. Why was she there with her sequins and bugles and old black +gown? Why had she left her dreaded house? On what fell errand she +hasted? + +They watched her lean, lithe figure, and the wind in that old black +dress, and soon she was gone from the cobbled street and under the +town's high gateway. She turned at once to her right and was hid from +the view of the houses. Then they all ran down to their doors, and +small groups formed on the pavement; there they took counsel together, +the eldest speaking first. Of what they had seen they said nothing, +for there was no doubt it was she; it was of the future they spoke, +and the future only. + +In what notorious thing would her errand end? What gains had tempted +her out from her fearful home? What brilliant but sinful scheme had +her genius planned? Above all, what future evil did this portend? Thus +at first it was only questions. And then the old grey-beards spoke, +each one to a little group; they had seen her out before, had known +her when she was younger, and had noted the evil things that had +followed her goings: the small groups listened well to their low and +earnest voices. No one asked questions now or guessed at her infamous +errand, but listened only to the wise old men who knew the things that +had been, and who told the younger men of the dooms that had come +before. + +Nobody knew how many times she had left her dreaded house; but the +oldest recounted all the times that they knew, and the way she had +gone each time, and the doom that had followed her going; and two +could remember the earthquake that there was in the street of the +shearers. + +So were there many tales of the times that were, told on the pavement +near the old green doors by the edge of the cobbled street, and the +experience that the aged men had bought with their white hairs might +be had cheap by the young. But from all their experience only this was +clear, that never twice in their lives had she done the same infamous +thing, and that the same calamity twice had never followed her goings. +Therefore it seemed that means were doubtful and few for finding out +what thing was about to befall; and an ominous feeling of gloom came +down on the street of the ox-butchers. And in the gloom grew fears of +the very worst. This comfort they only had when they put their fear +into words--that the doom that followed her goings had never yet been +anticipated. One feared that with magic she meant to move the moon; +and he would have dammed the high tide on the neighbouring coast, +knowing that as the moon attracted the sea the sea must attract the +moon, and hoping by his device to humble her spells. Another would +have fetched iron bars and clamped them across the street, remembering +the earthquake there was in the street of the shearers. Another would +have honoured his household gods, the little cat-faced idols seated +above his hearth, gods to whom magic was no unusual thing, and, having +paid their fees and honoured them well, would have put the whole case +before them. His scheme found favour with many, and yet at last was +rejected, for others ran indoors and brought out their gods, too, to +be honoured, till there was a herd of gods all seated there on the +pavement; yet would they have honoured them and put their case before +them but that a fat man ran up last of all, carefully holding under a +reverent arm his own two hound-faced gods, though he knew well--as, +indeed, all men must--that they were notoriously at war with the +little cat-faced idols. And although the animosities natural to faith +had all been lulled by the crisis, yet a look of anger had come into +the cat-like faces that no one dared disregard, and all perceived that +if they stayed a moment longer there would be flaming around them the +jealousy of the gods; so each man hastily took his idols home, leaving +the fat man insisting that his hound-faced gods should be honoured. + +Then there were schemes again and voices raised in debate, and many +new dangers feared and new plans made. + +But in the end they made no defence against danger, for they knew not +what it would be, but wrote upon parchment as a warning, and in order +that all might know: "_The bad old woman in black ran down the street +of the ox-butchers._" + + + + + +The Bird of the Difficult Eye + +Observant men and women that know their Bond Street well will +appreciate my astonishment when in a jewellers' shop I perceived that +nobody was furtively watching me. Not only this but when I even picked +up a little carved crystal to examine it no shop-assistants crowded +round me. I walked the whole length of the shop, still no one politely +followed. + +Seeing from this that some extraordinary revolution had occurred in +the jewelry business I went with my curiosity well aroused to a queer +old person half demon and half man who has an idol-shop in a byway of +the City and who keeps me informed of affairs at the Edge of the +World. And briefly over a pinch of heather incense that he takes by +way of snuff he gave me this tremendous information: that Mr. Neepy +Thang the son of Thangobrind had returned from the Edge of the World +and was even now in London. + +The information may not appear tremendous to those unacquainted with +the source of jewelry; but when I say that the only thief employed by +any West-end jeweller since famous Thangobrind's distressing doom is +this same Neepy Thang, and that for lightness of fingers and swiftness +of stockinged foot they have none better in Paris, it will be +understood why the Bond Street jewellers no longer cared what became +of their old stock. + +There were big diamonds in London that summer and a few considerable +sapphires. In certain astounding kingdoms behind the East strange +sovereigns missed from their turbans the heirlooms of ancient wars, +and here and there the keepers of crown jewels who had not heard the +stockinged feet of Thang, were questioned and died slowly. + +And the jewellers gave a little dinner to Thang at the Hotel Great +Magnificent; the windows had not been opened for five years and there +was wine at a guinea a bottle that you could not tell from champagne +and cigars at half a crown with a Havana label. Altogether it was a +splendid evening for Thang. + +But I have to tell of a far sadder thing than a dinner at a hotel. The +public require jewelry and jewelry must be obtained. I have to tell of +Neepy Thang's last journey. + +That year the fashion was emeralds. A man named Green had recently +crossed the Channel on a bicycle and the jewellers said that a green +stone would be particularly appropriate to commemorate the event and +recommended emeralds. + +Now a certain money-lender of Cheapside who had just been made a peer +had divided his gains into three equal parts; one for the purchase of +the peerage, country house and park, and the twenty thousand pheasants +that are absolutely essential, and one for the upkeep of the position, +while the third he banked abroad, partly to cheat the native +tax-gatherer and partly because it seemed to him that the days of the +Peerage were few and that he might at any moment be called upon to +start afresh elsewhere. In the upkeep of the position he included +jewelry for his wife and so it came about that Lord Castlenorman +placed an order with two well-known Bond-street jewellers named +Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell to the extent of £100,000 for a few +reliable emeralds. + +But the emeralds in stock were mostly small and shop-soiled and Neepy +Thang had to set out at once before he had had as much as a week in +London. I will briefly sketch his project. Not many knew it, for where +the form of business is blackmail the fewer creditors you have the +better (which of course in various degrees applies at all times). + +On the shores of the risky seas of Shiroora Shan grows one tree only +so that upon its branches if anywhere in the world there must build +its nest the Bird of the Difficult Eye. Neepy Thang had come by this +information, which was indeed the truth, that if the bird migrated to +Fairyland before the three eggs hatched out they would undoubtedly all +turn into emeralds, while if they hatched out first it would be a bad +business. + +When he had mentioned these eggs to Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell +they had said, "The very thing": they were men of few words, in +English, for it was not their native tongue. + +So Neepy Thang set out. He bought the purple ticket at Victoria +Station. He went by Herne Hill, Bromley and Bickley and passed St. +Mary Cray. At Eynsford he changed and taking a footpath along a +winding valley went wandering into the hills. And at the top of a hill +in a little wood, where all the anemones long since were over and the +perfume of mint and thyme from outside came drifting in with Thang, he +found once more the familiar path, age-old and fair as wonder, that +leads to the Edge of the World. Little to him were its sacred memories +that are one with the secret of earth, for he was on business, and +little would they be to me if I ever put them on paper. Let it suffice +that he went down that path going further and further from the fields +we know, and all the way he muttered to himself, "What if the eggs +hatch out and it be a bad business!" The glamour that is at all times +upon those lonely lands that lie at the back of the chalky hills of +Kent intensified as he went upon his journeys. Queerer and queerer +grew the things that he saw by little World-End Path. Many a twilight +descended upon that journey with all their mysteries, many a blaze of +stars; many a morning came flaming up to a tinkle of silvern horns; +till the outpost elves of Fairyland came in sight and the glittering +crests of Fairyland's three mountains betokened the journey's end. And +so with painful steps (for the shores of the world are covered with +huge crystals) he came to the risky seas of Shiroora Shan and saw them +pounding to gravel the wreckage of fallen stars, saw them and heard +their roar, those shipless seas that between earth and the fairies' +homes heave beneath some huge wind that is none of our four. And there +in the darkness on the grizzly coast, for darkness was swooping +slantwise down the sky as though with some evil purpose, there stood +that lonely, gnarled and deciduous tree. It was a bad place to be +found in after dark, and night descended with multitudes of stars, +beasts prowling in the blackness gluttered [See any dictionary, but in +vain.] at Neepy Thang. And there on a lower branch within easy reach +he clearly saw the Bird of the Difficult Eye sitting upon the nest for +which she is famous. Her face was towards those three inscrutable +mountains, far-off on the other side of the risky seas, whose hidden +valleys are Fairyland. Though not yet autumn in the fields we know, it +was close on midwinter here, the moment as Thang knew when those eggs +hatch out. Had he miscalculated and arrived a minute too late? Yet the +bird was even now about to migrate, her pinions fluttered and her gaze +was toward Fairyland. Thang hoped and muttered a prayer to those pagan +gods whose spite and vengeance he had most reason to fear. It seems +that it was too late or a prayer too small to placate them, for there +and then the stroke of midwinter came and the eggs hatched out in the +roar of Shiroora Shan or ever the bird was gone with her difficult eye +and it was a bad business indeed for Neepy Thang; I haven't the heart +to tell you any more. + +"'Ere," said Lord Castlenorman some few weeks later to Messrs. +Grosvenor and Campbell, "you aren't 'arf taking your time about those +emeralds." + + + + + +The Long Porter's Tale + +There are things that are known only to the long porter of Tong Tong +Tarrup as he sits and mumbles memories to himself in the little +bastion gateway. + +He remembers the war there was in the halls of the gnomes; and how the +fairies came for the opals once, which Tong Tong Tarrup has; and the +way that the giants went through the fields below, he watching from +his gateway: he remembers quests that are even yet a wonder to the +gods. Who dwells in those frozen houses on the high bare brink of the +world not even he has told me, and he is held to be garrulous. Among +the elves, the only living things ever seen moving at that awful +altitude where they quarry turquoise on Earth's highest crag, his name +is a byword for loquacity wherewith they mock the talkative. + +His favourite story if you offer him bash--the drug of which he is +fondest, and for which he will give his service in war to the elves +against the goblins, or vice-versa if the goblins bring him more--his +favourite story, when bodily soothed by the drug and mentally fiercely +excited, tells of a quest undertaken ever so long ago for nothing more +marketable than an old woman's song. + +Picture him telling it. An old man, lean and bearded, and almost +monstrously long, that lolled in a city's gateway on a crag perhaps +ten miles high; the houses for the most part facing eastward, lit by +the sun and moon and the constellations we know, but one house on the +pinnacle looking over the edge of the world and lit by the glimmer of +those unearthly spaces where one long evening wears away the stars: my +little offering of bash; a long forefinger that nipped it at once on a +stained and greedy thumb--all these are in the foreground of the +picture. In the background, the mystery of those silent houses and of +not knowing who their denizens were, or what service they had at the +hands of the long porter and what payment he had in return, and +whether he was mortal. + +Picture him in the gateway of this incredible town, having swallowed +my bash in silence, stretch his great length, lean back, and begin to +speak. + +It seems that one clear morning a hundred years ago, a visitor to Tong +Tong Tarrup was climbing up from the world. He had already passed +above the snow and had set his foot on a step of the earthward +stairway that goes down from Tong Tong Tarrup on to the rocks, when +the long porter saw him. And so painfully did he climb those easy +steps that the grizzled man on watch had long to wonder whether or not +the stranger brought him bash, the drug that gives a meaning to the +stars and seems to explain the twilight. And in the end there was not +a scrap of bash, and the stranger had nothing better to offer that +grizzled man than his mere story only. + +It seems that the stranger's name was Gerald Jones, and he always +lived in London; but once as a child he had been on a Northern moor. +It was so long ago that he did not remember how, only somehow or other +he walked alone on the moor, and all the ling was in flower. There was +nothing in sight but ling and heather and bracken, except, far off +near the sunset, on indistinct hills, there were little vague patches +that looked like the fields of men. With evening a mist crept up and +hid the hills, and still he went walking on over the moor. And then he +came to the valley, a tiny valley in the midst of the moor, whose +sides were incredibly steep. He lay down and looked at it through the +roots of the ling. And a long, long way below him, in a garden by a +cottage, with hollyhocks all round her that were taller than herself, +there sat an old woman on a wooden chair, singing in the evening. And +the man had taken a fancy to the song and remembered it after in +London, and whenever it came to his mind it made him think of +evenings--the kind you don't get in London--and he heard a soft wind +going idly over the moor and the bumble-bees in a hurry, and forgot +the noise of the traffic. And always, whenever he heard men speak of +Time, he grudged to Time most this song. Once afterwards he went to +that Northern moor again and found the tiny valley, but there was no +old woman in the garden, and no one was singing a song. And either +regret for the song that the old woman had sung, on a summer evening +twenty years away and daily receding, troubled his mind, or else the +wearisome work that he did in London, for he worked for a great firm +that was perfectly useless; and he grew old early, as men do in +cities. And at last, when melancholy brought only regret and the +uselessness of his work gained round him with age, he decided to +consult a magician. So to a magician he went and told him his +troubles, and particularly he told him how he had heard the song. "And +now," he said, "it is nowhere in the world." + +"Of course it is not in the world," the magician said, "but over the +Edge of the World you may easily find it." And he told the man that he +was suffering from flux of time and recommended a day at the Edge of +the World. Jones asked what part of the Edge of the World he should go +to, and the magician had heard Tong Tong Tarrup well spoken of; so he +paid him, as is usual, in opals, and started at once on the journey. +The ways to that town are winding; he took the ticket at Victoria +Station that they only give if they know you: he went past Bleth: he +went along the Hills of Neol-Hungar and came to the Gap of Poy. All +these are in that part of the world that pertains to the fields we +know; but beyond the Gap of Poy on those ordinary plains, that so +closely resemble Sussex, one first meets the unlikely. A line of +common grey hills, the Hills of Sneg, may be seen at the edge of the +plain from the Gap of Poy; it is there that the incredible begins, +infrequently at first, but happening more and more as you go up the +hills. For instance, descending once into Poy Plains, the first thing +that I saw was an ordinary shepherd watching a flock of ordinary +sheep. I looked at them for some time and nothing happened, when, +without a word, one of the sheep walked up to the shepherd and +borrowed his pipe and smoked it--an incident that struck me as +unlikely; but in the Hills of Sneg I met an honest politician. Over +these plains went Jones and over the Hills of Sneg, meeting at first +unlikely things, and then incredible things, till he came to the long +slope beyond the hills that leads up to the Edge of the World, and +where, as all guidebooks tell, anything may happen. You might at the +foot of this slope see here and there things that could conceivably +occur in the fields we know; but soon these disappeared, and the +traveller saw nothing but fabulous beasts, browsing on flowers as +astounding as themselves, and rocks so distorted that their shapes had +clearly a meaning, being too startling to be accidental. Even the +trees were shockingly unfamiliar, they had so much to say, and they +leant over to one another whenever they spoke and struck grotesque +attitudes and leered. Jones saw two fir-trees fighting. The effect of +these scenes on his nerves was very severe; still he climbed on, and +was much cheered at last by the sight of a primrose, the only familiar +thing he had seen for hours, but it whistled and skipped away. He saw +the unicorns in their secret valley. Then night in a sinister way +slipped over the sky, and there shone not only the stars, but lesser +and greater moons, and he heard dragons rattling in the dark. + +With dawn there appeared above him among its amazing crags the town of +Tong Tong Tarrup, with the light on its frozen stairs, a tiny cluster +of houses far up in the sky. He was on the steep mountain now: great +mists were leaving it slowly, and revealing, as they trailed away, +more and more astonishing things. Before the mist had all gone he +heard quite near him, on what he had thought was bare mountain, the +sound of a heavy galloping on turf. He had come to the plateau of the +centaurs. And all at once he saw them in the mist: there they were, +the children of fable, five enormous centaurs. Had he paused on +account of any astonishment he had not come so far: he strode on over +the plateau, and came quite near to the centaurs. It is never the +centaurs' wont to notice men; they pawed the ground and shouted to one +another in Greek, but they said no word to him. Nevertheless they +turned and stared at him when he left them, and when he had crossed +the plateau and still went on, all five of them cantered after to the +edge of their green land; for above the high green plateau of the +centaurs is nothing but naked mountains, and the last green thing that +is seen by the mountaineer as he travels to Tong Tong Tarrup is the +grass that the centaurs trample. He came into the snow fields that the +mountain wears like a cape, its head being bare above it, and still +climbed on. The centaurs watched him with increasing wonder. + +Not even fabulous beasts were near him now, nor strange demoniac +trees--nothing but snow and the clean bare crag above it on which was +Tong Tong Tarrup. All day he climbed and evening found him above the +snow-line; and soon he came to the stairway cut in the rock and in +sight of that grizzled man, the long porter of Tong Tong Tarrup, +sitting mumbling amazing memories to himself and expecting in vain +from the stranger a gift of bash. + +It seems that as soon as the stranger arrived at the bastion gateway, +tired though he was, he demanded lodgings at once that commanded a +good view of the Edge of the World. But the long porter, that grizzled +man, disappointed of his bash, demanded the stranger's story to add to +his memories before he would show him the way. And this is the story, +if the long porter has told me the truth and if his memory is still +what it was. And when the story was told, the grizzled man arose, and, +dangling his musical keys, went up through door after door and by many +stairs and led the stranger to the top-most house, the highest roof in +the world, and in its parlour showed him the parlour window. There the +tired stranger sat down in a chair and gazed out of the window sheer +over the Edge of the World. The window was shut, and in its glittering +panes the twilight of the World's Edge blazed and danced, partly like +glow-worms' lamps and partly like the sea; it went by rippling, full +of wonderful moons. But the traveller did not look at the wonderful +moons. For from the abyss there grew with their roots in far +constellations a row of hollyhocks, and amongst them a small green +garden quivered and trembled as scenes tremble in water; higher up, +ling in bloom was floating upon the twilight, more and more floated up +till all the twilight was purple; the little green garden low down was +hung in the midst of it. And the garden down below, and the ling all +round it, seemed all to be trembling and drifting on a song. For the +twilight was full of a song that sang and rang along the edges of the +World, and the green garden and the ling seemed to flicker and ripple +with it as the song rose and fell, and an old woman was singing it +down in the garden. A bumble-bee sailed across from over the Edge of +the World. And the song that was lapping there against the coasts of +the World, and to which the stars were dancing, was the same that he +had heard the old woman sing long since down in the valley in the +midst of the Northern moor. + +But that grizzled man, the long porter, would not let the stranger +stay, because he brought him no bash, and impatiently he shouldered +him away, himself not troubling to glance through the World's +outermost window, for the lands that Time afflicts and the spaces that +Time knows not are all one to that grizzled man, and the bash that he +eats more profoundly astounds his mind than anything man can show him +either in the World we know or over the Edge. And, bitterly +protesting, the traveller went back and down again to the World. + + . . . . . + +Accustomed as I am to the incredible from knowing the Edge of the +World, the story presents difficulties to me. Yet it may be that the +devastation wrought by Time is merely local, and that outside the +scope of his destruction old songs are still being sung by those that +we deem dead. I try to hope so. And yet the more I investigate the +story that the long porter told me in the town of Tong Tong Tarrup the +more plausible the alternative theory appears--that that grizzled man +is a liar. + + + + + +The Loot of Loma + +Coming back laden with the loot of Loma, the four tall men looked +earnestly to the right; to the left they durst not, for the precipice +there that had been with them so long went sickly down on to a bank of +clouds, and how much further below that only their fears could say. + +Loma lay smoking, a city of ruin, behind them, all its defenders dead; +there was no one left to pursue them, and yet their Indian instincts +told them that all was scarcely well. They had gone three days along +that narrow ledge: mountain quite smooth, incredible, above them, and +precipice as smooth and as far below. It was chilly there in the +mountains; at night a stream or a wind in the gloom of the chasm below +them went like a whisper; the stillness of all things else began to +wear the nerve--an enemy's howl would have braced them; they began to +wish their perilous path were wider, they began to wish that they had +not sacked Loma. + +Had that path been any wider the sacking of Loma must indeed have been +harder for them, for the citizens must have fortified the city but +that the awful narrowness of that ten-league pass of the hills had +made their crag-surrounded city secure. And at last an Indian had +said, "Come, let us sack it." Grimly they laughed in the wigwams. Only +the eagles, they said, had ever seen it, its hoard of emeralds and its +golden gods; and one had said he would reach it, and they answered, +"Only the eagles." + +It was Laughing Face who said it, and who gathered thirty braves and +led them into Loma with their tomahawks and their bows; there were +only four left now, but they had the loot of Loma on a mule. They had +four golden gods, a hundred emeralds, fifty-two rubies, a large silver +gong, two sticks of malachite with amethyst handles for holding +incense at religious feasts, four beakers one foot high, each carved +from a rose-quartz crystal; a little coffer carved out of two +diamonds, and (had they but known it) the written curse of a priest. +It was written on parchment in an unknown tongue, and had been slipped +in with the loot by a dying hand. + +From either end of that narrow, terrible ledge the third night was +closing in; it was dropping down on them from the heights of the +mountain and slipping up to them out of the abyss, the third night +since Loma blazed and they had left it. Three more days of tramping +should bring them in triumph home, and yet their instincts said that +all was scarcely well. We who sit at home and draw the blinds and shut +the shutters as soon as night appears, who gather round the fire when +the wind is wild, who pray at regular seasons and in familiar shrines, +know little of the demoniac look of night when it is filled with +curses of false, infuriated gods. Such a night was this. Though in the +heights the fleecy clouds were idle, yet the wind was stirring +mournfully in the abyss and moaning as it stirred, unhappily at first +and full of sorrow; but as day turned away from that awful path a very +definite menace entered its voice which fast grew louder and louder, +and night came on with a long howl. Shadows repeatedly passed over the +stars, and then a mist fell swiftly, as though there were something +suddenly to be done and utterly to be hidden, as in very truth there +was. + +And in the chill of that mist the four tall men prayed to their +totems, the whimsical wooden figures that stood so far away, watching +the pleasant wigwams; the firelight even now would be dancing over +their faces, while there would come to their ears delectable tales of +war. They halted upon the pass and prayed, and waited for any sign. +For a man's totem may be in the likeness perhaps of an otter, and a +man may pray, and if his totem be placable and watching over his man a +noise may be heard at once like the noise that the otter makes, though +it be but a stone that falls on another stone; and the noise is a +sign. The four men's totems that stood so far away were in the +likeness of the coney, the bear, the heron, and the lizard. They +waited, and no sign came. With all the noises of the wind in the +abyss, no noise was like the thump that the coney makes, nor the +bear's growl, nor the heron's screech, nor the rustle of the lizard in +the reeds. + +It seemed that the wind was saying something over and over again, and +that that thing was evil. They prayed again to their totems, and no +sign came. And then they knew that there was some power that night +that was prevailing against the pleasant carvings on painted poles of +wood with the firelight on their faces so far away. Now it was clear +that the wind was saying something, some very, very dreadful thing in +a tongue that they did not know. They listened, but they could not +tell what it said. Nobody could have said from seeing their faces how +much the four tall men desired the wigwams again, desired the +camp-fire and the tales of war and the benignant totems that listened +and smiled in the dusk: nobody could have seen how well they knew that +this was no common night or wholesome mist. + +When at last no answer came nor any sign from their totems, they +pulled out of the bag those golden gods that Loma gave not up except +in flames and when all her men were dead. They had large ruby eyes and +emerald tongues. They set them down upon that mountain pass, the +cross-legged idols with their emerald tongues; and having placed +between them a few decent yards, as it seemed meet there should be +between gods and men, they bowed them down and prayed in their +desperate straits in that dank, ominous night to the gods they had +wronged, for it seemed that there was a vengeance upon the hills and +that they would scarce escape, as the wind knew well. And the gods +laughed, all four, and wagged their emerald tongues; the Indians saw +them, though the night had fallen and though the mist was low. The +four tall men leaped up at once from their knees and would have left +the gods upon the pass but that they feared some hunter of their tribe +might one day find them and say of Laughing Face, "He fled and left +behind his golden gods," and sell the gold and come with his wealth to +the wigwams and be greater than Laughing Face and his three men. And +then they would have cast the gods away, down the abyss, with their +eyes and their emerald tongues, but they knew that enough already they +had wronged Loma's gods, and feared that vengeance enough was waiting +them on the hills. So they packed them back in the bag on the +frightened mule, the bag that held the curse they knew nothing of, and +so pushed on into the menacing night. Till midnight they plodded on +and would not sleep; grimmer and grimmer grew the look of the night, +and the wind more full of meaning, and the mule knew and trembled, and +it seemed that the wind knew, too, as did the instincts of those four +tall men, though they could not reason it out, try how they would. + +And though the squaws waited long where the pass winds out of the +mountains, near where the wigwams are upon the plains, the wigwams and +the totems and the fire, and though they watched by day, and for many +nights uttered familiar calls, still did they never see those four +tall men emerge out of the mountains any more, even though they prayed +to their totems upon their painted poles; but the curse in the +mystical writing that they had unknown in their bag worked there on +that lonely pass six leagues from the ruins of Loma, and nobody can +tell us what it was. + + + + + +The Secret of the Sea + +In an ill-lit ancient tavern that I know, are many tales of the sea; +but not without the wine of Gorgondy, that I had of a private bargain +from the gnomes, was the tale laid bare for which I had waited of an +evening for the greater part of a year. + +I knew my man and listened to his stories, sitting amid the bluster of +his oaths; I plied him with rum and whiskey and mixed drinks, but +there never came the tale for which I sought, and as a last resort I +went to the Huthneth Mountains and bargained there all night with the +chiefs of the gnomes. + +When I came to the ancient tavern and entered the low-roofed room, +bringing the hoard of the gnomes in a bottle of hammered iron, my man +had not yet arrived. The sailors laughed at my old iron bottle, but I +sat down and waited; had I opened it then they would have wept and +sung. I was well content to wait, for I knew my man had the story, and +it was such a one as had profoundly stirred the incredulity of the +faithless. + +He entered and greeted me, and sat down and called for brandy. He was +a hard man to turn from his purpose, and, uncorking my iron bottle, I +sought to dissuade him from brandy for fear that when the brandy, bit +his throat he should refuse to leave it for any other wine. He lifted +his head and said deep and dreadful things of any man that should dare +to speak against brandy. + +I swore that I said nothing against brandy but added that it was often +given to children, while Gorgondy was only drunk by men of such +depravity that they had abandoned sin because all the usual vices had +come to seem genteel. When he asked if Gorgondy was a bad wine to +drink I said that it was so bad that if a man sipped it that was the +one touch that made damnation certain. Then he asked me what I had in +the iron bottle, and I said it was Gorgondy; and then he shouted for +the largest tumbler in that ill-lit ancient tavern, and stood up and +shook his fist at me when it came, and swore, and told me to fill it +with the wine that I got on that bitter night from the treasure house +of the gnomes. + +As he drank it he told me that he had met men who had spoken against +wine, and that they had mentioned Heaven; and therefore he would not +go there--no, not he; and that once he had sent one of them to Hell, +but when he got there he would turn him out, and he had no use for +milksops. + +Over the second tumbler he was thoughtful, but still he said no word +of the tale he knew, until I feared that it would never be heard. But +when the third glass of that terrific wine had burned its way down his +gullet, and vindicated the wickedness of the gnomes, his reticence +withered like a leaf in the fire, and he bellowed out the secret. + +I had long known that there is in ships a will or way of their own, +and had even suspected that when sailors die or abandon their ships at +sea, a derelict, being left to her own devices, may seek her own ends; +but I had never dreamed by night, or fancied during the day, that the +ships had a god that they worshipped, or that they secretly slipped +away to a temple in the sea. + +Over the fourth glass of the wine that the gnomes so sinfully brew but +have kept so wisely from man, until the bargain that I had with their +elders all through that autumn night, the sailor told me the story. I +do not tell it as he told it to me because of the oaths that were in +it; nor is it from delicacy that I refrain from writing these oaths +verbatim, but merely because the horror they caused in me at the time +troubles me still whenever I put them on paper, and I continue to +shudder until I have blotted them out. Therefore, I tell the story in +my own words, which, if they possess a certain decency that was not in +the mouth of that sailor, unfortunately do not smack, as his did, of +rum and blood and the sea. + +You would take a ship to be a dead thing like a table, as dead as bits +of iron and canvas and wood. That is because you always live on shore, +and have never seen the sea, and drink milk. Milk is a more accursed +drink than water. + +What with the captain and what with the man at the wheel, and what +with the crew, a ship has no fair chance of showing a will of her own. + +There is only one moment in the history of ships, that carry crews on +board, when they act by their own free will. This moment comes when +all the crew are drunk. As the last man falls drunk on to the deck, +the ship is free of man, and immediately slips away. She slips away at +once on a new course and is never one yard out in a hundred miles. + +It was like this one night with the Sea-Fancy. Bill Smiles was there +himself, and can vouch for it. Bill Smiles has never told this tale +before for fear that anyone should call him a liar. Nobody dislikes +being hung as much as Bill Smiles would, but he won't be called a +liar. I tell the tale as I heard it, relevancies and irrelevancies, +though in my more decent words; and as I made no doubts of the truth +of it then, I hardly like to now; others can please themselves. + +It is not often that the whole of a crew is drunk. The crew of +the Sea-Fancy was no drunkener than others. It happened like this. + +The captain was always drunk. One day a fancy he had that some spiders +were plotting against him, or a sudden bleeding he had from both his +ears, made him think that drinking might be bad for his health. Next +day he signed the pledge. He was sober all that morning and all the +afternoon, but at evening he saw a sailor drinking a a glass of beer, +and a fit of madness seized him, and he said things that seemed bad to +Bill Smiles. And next morning he made all of them take the pledge. + +For two days nobody had a drop to drink, unless you count water, and +on the third morning the captain was quite drunk. It stood to reason +they all had a glass or two then, except the man at the wheel; and +towards evening the man at the wheel could bear it no longer, and +seems to have had his glass like all the rest, for the ship's course +wobbled a bit and made a circle or two. Then all of a sudden she went +off south by east under full canvas till midnight, and never altered +her course. And at midnight she came to the wide wet courts of the +Temple in the Sea. + +People who think that Mr. Smiles is drunk often make a great mistake. And +people are not the only ones that have made that mistake. Once a +ship made it, and a lot of ships. It's a mistake to think that old Bill +Smiles is drunk just because he can't move. + +Midnight and moonlight and the Temple in the Sea Bill Smiles clearly +remembers, and all the derelicts in the world were there, the old +abandoned ships. The figureheads were nodding to themselves and +blinking at the image. The image was a woman of white marble on a +pedestal in the outer court of the Temple of the Sea: she was clearly +the love of all the man-deserted ships, or the goddess to whom they +prayed their heathen prayers. And as Bill Smiles was watching them, +the lips of the figureheads moved; they all began to pray. But all at +once their lips were closed with a snap when they saw that there were +men on the Sea-Fancy. They all came crowding up and nodded and nodded +and nodded to see if all were drunk, and that's when they made their +mistake about old Bill Smiles, although he couldn't move. They would +have given up the treasuries of the gulfs sooner than let men hear the +prayers they said or guess their love for the goddess. It is the +intimate secret of the sea. + +The sailor paused. And, in my eagerness to hear what lyrical or +blasphemous thing those figureheads prayed by moonlight at midnight in +the sea to the woman of marble who was a goddess to ships, I pressed +on the sailor more of my Gorgondy wine that the gnomes so wickedly +brew. + +I should never have done it; but there he was sitting silent while the +secret was almost mine. He took it moodily and drank a glass; and with +the other glasses that he had had he fell a prey to the villainy of +the gnomes who brew this unbridled wine to no good end. His body +leaned forward slowly, then fell on to the table, his face being +sideways and full of a wicked smile, and, saying very clearly the one +word, "Hell," he became silent for ever with the secret he had from +the sea. + + + + + +How Ali Came to the Black Country + +Shooshan the barber went to Shep the maker of teeth to discuss the +state of England. They agreed that it was time to send for Ali. + +So Shooshan stepped late that night from the little shop near Fleet +Street and made his way back again to his house in the ends of London +and sent at once the message that brought Ali. + +And Ali came, mostly on foot, from the country of Persia, and it took +him a year to come; but when he came he was welcome. + +And Shep told Ali what was the matter with England and Shooshan swore +that it was so, and Ali looking out of the window of the little shop +near Fleet Street beheld the ways of London and audibly blessed King +Solomon and his seal. + +When Shep and Shooshan heard the names of King Solomon and his seal +both asked, as they had scarcely dared before, if Ali had it. Ali +patted a little bundle of silks that he drew from his inner raiment. +It was there. + +Now concerning the movements and courses of the stars and the +influence on them of spirits of Earth and devils this age has been +rightly named by some The Second Age of Ignorance. But Ali knew. And +by watching nightly, for seven nights in Bagdad, the way of certain +stars he had found out the dwelling place of Him they Needed. + +Guided by Ali all three set forth for the Midlands. And by the +reverence that was manifest in the faces of Shep and Shooshan towards +the person of Ali, some knew what Ali carried, while others said that +it was the tablets of the Law, others the name of God, and others that +he must have a lot of money about him. So they passed Slod and Apton. + +And at last they came to the town for which Ali sought, that spot over +which he had seen the shy stars wheel and swerve away from their +orbits, being troubled. Verily when they came there were no stars, +though it was midnight. And Ali said that it was the appointed place. +In harems in Persia in the evening when the tales go round it is still +told how Ali and Shep and Shooshan came to the Black country. + +When it was dawn they looked upon the country and saw how it was +without doubt the appointed place, even as Ali had said, for the earth +had been taken out of pits and burned and left lying in heaps, and +there were many factories, and they stood over the town and as it were +rejoiced. And with one voice Shep and Shooshan gave praise to Ali. + +And Ali said that the great ones of the place must needs be gathered +together, and to this end Shep and Shooshan went into the town and +there spoke craftily. For they said that Ali had of his wisdom +contrived as it were a patent and a novelty which should greatly +benefit England. And when they heard how he sought nothing for his +novelty save only to benefit mankind they consented to speak with Ali +and see his novelty. And they came forth and met Ali. + +And Ali spake and said unto them: "O lords of this place; in the book +that all men know it is written how that a fisherman casting his net +into the sea drew up a bottle of brass, and when he took the stopper +from the bottle a dreadful genie of horrible aspect rose from the +bottle, as it were like a smoke, even to darkening the sky, whereat +the fisherman..." And the great ones of that place said: "We have +heard the story." And Ali said: "What became of that genie after he +was safely thrown back into the sea is not properly spoken of by any +save those that pursue the study of demons and not with certainty by +any man, but that the stopper that bore the ineffable seal and bears +it to this day became separate from the bottle is among those things +that man may know." And when there was doubt among the great ones Ali +drew forth his bundle and one by one removed those many silks till the +seal stood revealed; and some of them knew it for the seal and others +knew it not. + +And they looked curiously at it and listened to Ali, and Ali said: + +"Having heard how evil is the case of England, how a smoke has +darkened the country, and in places (as men say) the grass is black, +and how even yet your factories multiply, and haste and noise have +become such that men have no time for song, I have therefore come at +the bidding of my good friend Shooshan, barber of London, and of Shep, +a maker of teeth, to make things well with you." + +And they said: "But where is your patent and your novelty?" + +And Ali said: "Have I not here the stopper and on it, as good men +know, the ineffable seal? Now I have learned in Persia how that your +trains that make the haste, and hurry men to and fro, and your +factories and the digging of your pits and all the things that are +evil are everyone of them caused and brought about by steam." + +"Is it not so?" said Shooshan. + +"It is even so," said Shep. + +"Now it is clear," said Ali, "that the chief devil that vexes England +and has done all this harm, who herds men into cities and will not let +them rest, is even the devil Steam." + +Then the great ones would have rebuked him but one said: "No, let us +hear him, perhaps his patent may improve on steam." + +And to them hearkening Ali went on thus: "O Lords of this place, let +there be made a bottle of strong steel, for I have no bottle with my +stopper, and this being done let all the factories, trains, digging of +pits, and all evil things soever that may be done by steam be stopped +for seven days, and the men that tend them shall go free, but the +steel bottle for my stopper I will leave open in a likely place. Now +that chief devil, Steam, finding no factories to enter into, nor no +trains, sirens nor pits prepared for him, and being curious and +accustomed to steel pots, will verily enter one night into the bottle +that you shall make for my stopper, and I shall spring forth from my +hiding with my stopper and fasten him down with the ineffable seal +which is the seal of King Solomon and deliver him up to you that you +cast him into the sea." + +And the great ones answered Ali and they said: "But what should we +gain if we lose our prosperity and be no longer rich?" + +And Ali said: "When we have cast this devil into the sea there will +come back again the woods and ferns and all the beautiful things that +the world hath, the little leaping hares shall be seen at play, there +shall be music on the hills again, and at twilight ease and quiet and +after the twilight stars." + +And "Verily," said Shooshan, "there shall be the dance again." + +"Aye," said Shep, "there shall be the country dance." + +But the great ones spake and said, denying Ali: "We will make no such +bottle for your stopper nor stop our healthy factories or good trains, +nor cease from our digging of pits nor do anything that you desire, +for an interference with steam would strike at the roots of that +prosperity that you see so plentifully all around us." + +Thus they dismissed Ali there and then from that place where the earth +was torn up and burnt, being taken out of pits, and where factories +blazed all night with a demoniac glare; and they dismissed with him +both Shooshan, the barber, and Shep, the maker of teeth: so that a +week later Ali started from Calais on his long walk back to Persia. + +And all this happened thirty years ago, and Shep is an old man now and +Shooshan older, and many mouths have bit with the teeth of Shep (for +he has a knack of getting them back whenever his customers die), and +they have written again to Ali away in the country of Persia with +these words, saying: + +"O Ali. The devil has indeed begotten a devil, even that spirit +Petrol. And the young devil waxeth, and increaseth in lustihood and is +ten years old and becoming like to his father. Come therefore and help +us with the ineffable seal. For there is none like Ali." + +And Ali turns where his slaves scatter rose-leaves, letting the letter +fall, and deeply draws from his hookah a puff of the scented smoke, +right down into his lungs, and sighs it forth and smiles, and lolling +round on to his other elbow speaks comfortably and says, "And shall a +man go twice to the help of a dog?" + +And with these words he thinks no more of England but ponders again +the inscrutable ways of God. + + + + + +The Bureau d'Echange de Maux + +I often think of the Bureau d'Echange de Maux and the wondrously evil +old man that sate therein. It stood in a little street that there is +in Paris, its doorway made of three brown beams of wood, the top one +overlapping the others like the Greek letter _pi_, all the rest +painted green, a house far lower and narrower than its neighbours and +infinitely stranger, a thing to take one's fancy. And over the doorway +on the old brown beam in faded yellow letters this legend ran, Bureau +Universel d'Echanges de Maux. + +I entered at once and accosted the listless man that lolled on a stool +by his counter. I demanded the wherefore of his wonderful house, what +evil wares he exchanged, with many other things that I wished to know, +for curiosity led me; and indeed had it not I had gone at once from +that shop, for there was so evil a look in that fattened man, in the +hang of his fallen cheeks and his sinful eye, that you would have said +he had had dealings with Hell and won the advantage by sheer +wickedness. + +Such a man was mine host; but above all the evil of him lay in his +eyes, which lay so still, so apathetic, that you would have sworn that +he was drugged or dead; like lizards motionless on a wall they lay, +then suddenly they darted, and all his cunning flamed up and revealed +itself in what one moment before seemed no more than a sleepy and +ordinary wicked old man. And this was the object and trade of that +peculiar shop, the Bureau Universel d'Echange de Maux: you paid twenty +francs, which the old man proceeded to take from me, for admission to +the bureau and then had the right to exchange any evil or misfortune +with anyone on the premises for some evil or misfortune that he "could +afford," as the old man put it. + +There were four or five men in the dingy ends of that low-ceilinged +room who gesticulated and muttered softly in twos as men who make a +bargain, and now and then more came in, and the eyes of the flabby +owner of the house leaped up at them as they entered, seemed to know +their errands at once and each one's peculiar need, and fell back +again into somnolence, receiving his twenty francs in an almost +lifeless hand and biting the coin as though in pure absence of mind. + +"Some of my clients," he told me. So amazing to me was the trade of +this extraordinary shop that I engaged the old man in conversation, +repulsive though he was, and from his garrulity I gathered these +facts. He spoke in perfect English though his utterance was somewhat +thick and heavy; no language seemed to come amiss to him. He had been +in business a great many years, how many he would not say, and was far +older than he looked. All kinds of people did business in his shop. +What they exchanged with each other he did not care except that it had +to be evils, he was not empowered to carry on any other kind of +business. + +There was no evil, he told me, that was not negotiable there; no evil +the old man knew had ever been taken away in despair from his shop. A +man might have to wait and come back again next day, and next day and +the day after, paying twenty francs each time, but the old man had the +addresses of all his clients and shrewdly knew their needs, and soon +the right two met and eagerly exchanged their commodities. +"Commodities" was the old man's terrible word, said with a gruesome +smack of his heavy lips, for he took a pride in his business and evils +to him were goods. + +I learned from him in ten minutes very much of human nature, more than +I have ever learned from any other man; I learned from him that a +man's own evil is to him the worst thing there is or ever could be, +and that an evil so unbalances all men's minds that they always seek +for extremes in that small grim shop. A woman that had no children had +exchanged with an impoverished half-maddened creature with twelve. On +one occasion a man had exchanged wisdom for folly. + +"Why on earth did he do that?" I said. + +"None of my business," the old man answered in his heavy indolent way. +He merely took his twenty francs from each and ratified the agreement +in the little room at the back opening out of the shop where his +clients do business. Apparently the man that had parted with wisdom +had left the shop upon the tips of his toes with a happy though +foolish expression all over his face, but the other went thoughtfully +away wearing a troubled and very puzzled look. Almost always it seemed +they did business in opposite evils. + +But the thing that puzzled me most in all my talks with that unwieldy +man, the thing that puzzles me still, is that none that had once done +business in that shop ever returned again; a man might come day after +day for many weeks, but once do business and he never returned; so +much the old man told me, but when I asked him why, he only muttered +that he did not know. + +It was to discover the wherefore of this strange thing and for no +other reason at all that I determined myself to do business sooner or +later in the little room at the back of that mysterious shop. I +determined to exchange some very trivial evil for some evil equally +slight, to seek for myself an advantage so very small as scarcely to +give Fate as it were a grip, for I deeply distrusted these bargains, +knowing well that man has never yet benefited by the marvellous and +that the more miraculous his advantage appears to be the more securely +and tightly do the gods or the witches catch him. In a few days more I +was going back to England and I was beginning to fear that I should be +sea-sick: this fear of sea-sickness, not the actual malady but only +the mere fear of it, I decided to exchange for a suitably little evil. +I did not know with whom I should be dealing, who in reality was the +head of the firm (one never does when shopping) but I decided that +neither Jew nor Devil could make very much on so small a bargain as +that. + +I told the old man my project, and he scoffed at the smallness of my +commodity trying to urge me to some darker bargain, but could not move +me from my purpose. And then he told me tales with a somewhat boastful +air of the big business, the great bargains that had passed through +his hands. A man had once run in there to try and exchange death, he +had swallowed poison by accident and had only twelve hours to live. +That sinister old man had been able to oblige him. A client was +willing to exchange the commodity. + +"But what did he give in exchange for death?" I said. + +"Life," said that grim old man with a furtive chuckle. + +"It must have been a horrible life," I said. + +"That was not my affair," the proprietor said, lazily rattling +together as he spoke a little pocketful of twenty-franc pieces. + +Strange business I watched in that shop for the next few days, the +exchange of odd commodities, and heard strange mutterings in corners +amongst couples who presently rose and went to the back room, the old +man following to ratify. + +Twice a day for a week I paid my twenty francs, watching life with its +great needs and its little needs morning and afternoon spread out +before me in all its wonderful variety. + +And one day I met a comfortable man with only a little need, he seemed +to have the very evil I wanted. He always feared the lift was going to +break. I knew too much of hydraulics to fear things as silly as that, +but it was not my business to cure his ridiculous fear. Very few words +were needed to convince him that mine was the evil for him, he never +crossed the sea, and I on the other hand could always walk upstairs, +and I also felt at the time, as many must feel in that shop, that so +absurd a fear could never trouble me. And yet at times it is almost +the curse of my life. When we both had signed the parchment in the +spidery back room and the old man had signed and ratified (for which +we had to pay him fifty francs each) I went back to my hotel, and +there I saw the deadly thing in the basement. They asked me if I would +go upstairs in the lift, from force of habit I risked it, and I held +my breath all the way and clenched my hands. Nothing will induce me to +try such a journey again. I would sooner go up to my room in a +balloon. And why? Because if a balloon goes wrong you have a chance, +it may spread out into a parachute after it has burst, it may catch in +a tree, a hundred and one things may happen, but if the lift falls +down its shaft you are done. As for sea-sickness I shall never be sick +again, I cannot tell you why except that I know that it is so. + +And the shop in which I made this remarkable bargain, the shop to +which none return when their business is done: I set out for it next +day. Blindfold I could have found my way to the unfashionable quarter +out of which a mean street runs, where you take the alley at the end, +whence runs the cul de sac where the queer shop stood. A shop with +pillars, fluted and painted red, stands on its near side, its other +neighbour is a low-class jeweller's with little silver brooches in the +window. In such incongruous company stood the shop with beams with its +walls painted green. + +In half an hour I found the cul de sac to which I had gone twice a day +for the last week, I found the shop with the ugly painted pillars and +the jeweller that sold brooches, but the green house with the three +beams was gone. + +Pulled down, you will say, although in a single night. That can never +be the answer to the mystery, for the house of the fluted pillars +painted on plaster and the low-class jeweller's shop with its silver +brooches (all of which I could identify one by one) were standing side +by side. + + + + + +A Story of Land and Sea + +It is written in the first Book of Wonder how Captain Shard of the bad +ship Desperate Lark, having looted the sea-coast city Bombasharna, +retired from active life; and resigning piracy to younger men, with +the good will of the North and South Atlantic, settled down with a +captured queen on his floating island. + +Sometimes he sank a ship for the sake of old times but he no longer +hovered along the trade-routes; and timid merchants watched for other +men. + +It was not age that caused him to leave his romantic profession; nor +unworthiness of its traditions, nor gun-shot wound, nor drink; but +grim necessity and force majeure. Five navies were after him. How he +gave them the slip one day in the Mediterranean, how he fought with +the Arabs, how a ship's broadside was heard in Lat. 23 N. Long. 4 E. +for the first time and the last, with other things unknown to +Admiralties, I shall proceed to tell. + +He had had his fling, had Shard, captain of pirates, and all his merry +men wore pearls in their ear-rings; and now the English fleet was +after him under full sail along the coast of Spain with a good North +wind behind them. They were not gaining much on Shard's rakish craft, +the bad ship Desperate Lark, yet they were closer than was to his +liking, and they interfered with business. + +For a day and a night they had chased him, when off Cape St. Vincent +at about six a.m. Shard took that step that decided his retirement +from active life, he turned for the Mediterranean. Had he held on +Southwards down the African coast it is doubtful whether in face of +the interference of England, Russia, France, Denmark and Spain, he +could have made piracy pay; but in turning for the Mediterranean he +took what we may call the penultimate step of his life which meant for +him settling down. There were three great courses of action invented +by Shard in his youth, upon which he pondered by day and brooded by +night, consolations in all his dangers, secret even from his men, +three means of escape as he hoped from any peril that might meet him +on the sea. One of these was the floating island that the Book of +Wonder tells of, another was so fantastic that we may doubt if even +the brilliant audacity of Shard could ever have found it practicable, +at least he never tried it so far as is known in that tavern by the +sea in which I glean my news, and the third he determined on carrying +out as he turned that morning for the Mediterranean. True he might yet +have practised piracy in spite of the step that he took, a little +later when the seas grew quiet, but that penultimate step was like +that small house in the country that the business man has his eye on, +like some snug investment put away for old age, there are certain +final courses in men's lives which after taking they never go back to +business. + +He turned then for the Mediterranean with the English fleet behind +him, and his men wondered. + +What madness was this,--muttered Bill the Boatswain in Old Frank's +only ear, with the French fleet waiting in the Gulf of Lyons and the +Spaniards all the way between Sardinia and Tunis: for they knew the +Spaniards' ways. And they made a deputation and waited upon Captain +Shard, all of them sober and wearing their costly clothes, and they +said that the Mediterranean was a trap, and all he said was that the +North wind should hold. And the crew said they were done. + +So they entered the Mediterranean and the English fleet came up and +closed the straits. And Shard went tacking along the Moroccan coast +with a dozen frigates behind him. And the North wind grew in strength. +And not till evening did he speak to his crew, and then he gathered +them all together except the man at the helm, and politely asked them +to come down to the hold. And there he showed them six immense steel +axles and a dozen low iron wheels of enormous width which none had +seen before; and he told his crew how all unknown to the world his +keel had been specially fitted for these same axles and wheels, and +how he meant soon to sail to the wide Atlantic again, though not by +the way of the straits. And when they heard the name of the Atlantic +all his merry men cheered, for they looked on the Atlantic as a wide +safe sea. + +And night came down and Captain Shard sent for his diver. With the sea +getting up it was hard work for the diver, but by midnight things were +done to Shard's satisfaction, and the diver said that of all the jobs +he had done--but finding no apt comparison, and being in need of a +drink, silence fell on him and soon sleep, and his comrades carried +him away to his hammock. All the next day the chase went on with the +English well in sight, for Shard had lost time overnight with his +wheels and axles, and the danger of meeting the Spaniards increased +every hour; and evening came when every minute seemed dangerous, yet +they still went tacking on towards the East where they knew the +Spaniards must be. + +And at last they sighted their topsails right ahead, and still Shard +went on. It was a close thing, but night was coming on, and the Union +Jack which he hoisted helped Shard with the Spaniards for the last few +anxious minutes, though it seemed to anger the English, but as Shard +said, "There's no pleasing everyone," and then the twilight shivered +into darkness. + +"Hard to starboard," said Captain Shard. + +The North wind which had risen all day was now blowing a gale. I do +not know what part of the coast Shard steered for, but Shard knew, for +the coasts of the world were to him what Margate is to some of us. + +At a place where the desert rolling up from mystery and from death, +yea, from the heart of Africa, emerges upon the sea, no less grand +than her, no less terrible, even there they sighted the land quite +close, almost in darkness. Shard ordered every man to the hinder part +of the ship and all the ballast too; and soon the Desperate Lark, her +prow a little high out of the water, doing her eighteen knots before +the wind, struck a sandy beach and shuddered, she heeled over a +little, then righted herself, and slowly headed into the interior of +Africa. + +The men would have given three cheers, but after the first Shard +silenced them and, steering the ship himself, he made them a short +speech while the broad wheels pounded slowly over the African sand, +doing barely five knots in a gale. The perils of the sea he said had +been greatly exaggerated. Ships had been sailing the sea for hundreds +of years and at sea you knew what to do, but on land this was +different. They were on land now and they were not to forget it. At +sea you might make as much noise as you pleased and no harm was done, +but on land anything might happen. One of the perils of the land that +he instanced was that of hanging. For every hundred men that they hung +on land, he said, not more than twenty would be hung at sea. The men +were to sleep at their guns. They would not go far that night; for the +risk of being wrecked at night was another danger peculiar to the +land, while at sea you might sail from set of sun till dawn: yet it +was essential to get out of sight of the sea for if anyone knew they +were there they'd have cavalry after them. And he had sent back +Smerdrak (a young lieutenant of pirates) to cover their tracks where +they came up from the sea. And the merry men vigorously nodded their +heads though they did not dare to cheer, and presently Smerdrak came +running up and they threw him a rope by the stern. And when they had +done fifteen knots they anchored, and Captain Shard gathered his men +about him and, standing by the land-wheel in the bows, under the large +and clear Algerian stars, he explained his system of steering. There +was not much to be said for it, he had with considerable ingenuity +detached and pivoted the portion of the keel that held the leading +axle and could move it by chains which were controlled from the +land-wheel, thus the front pair of wheels could be deflected at will, +but only very slightly, and they afterwards found that in a hundred +yards they could only turn their ship four yards from her course. But +let not captains of comfortable battleships, or owners even of yachts, +criticise too harshly a man who was not of their time and who knew not +modern contrivances; it should be remembered also that Shard was no +longer at sea. His steering may have been clumsy but he did what he +could. + +When the use and limitations of his land-wheel had been made clear to +his men, Shard bade them all turn in except those on watch. Long +before dawn he woke them and by the very first gleam of light they got +their ship under way, so that when those two fleets that had made so +sure of Shard closed in like a great crescent on the Algerian coast +there was no sign to see of the Desperate Lark either on sea or land; +and the flags of the Admiral's ship broke out into a hearty English +oath. + +The gale blew for three days and, Shard using more sail by daylight, +they scudded over the sands at little less than ten knots, though on +the report of rough water ahead (as the lookout man called rocks, low +hills or uneven surface before he adapted himself to his new +surroundings) the rate was much decreased. Those were long summer days +and Shard who was anxious while the wind held good to outpace the +rumour of his own appearance sailed for nineteen hours a day, lying to +at ten in the evening and hoisting sail again at three a.m. when it +first began to be light. + +In those three days he did five hundred miles; then the wind dropped +to a breeze though it still blew from the North, and for a week they +did no more than two knots an hour. The merry men began to murmur +then. Luck had distinctly favoured Shard at first for it sent him at +ten knots through the only populous districts well ahead of crowds +except those who chose to run, and the cavalry were away on a local +raid. As for the runners they soon dropped off when Shard pointed his +cannon though he did not dare to fire, up there near the coast; for +much as he jeered at the intelligence of the English and Spanish +Admirals in not suspecting his manoeuvre, the only one as he said that +was possible in the circumstances, yet he knew that cannon had an +obvious sound which would give his secret away to the weakest mind. +Certainly luck had befriended him, and when it did so no longer he +made out of the occasion all that could be made; for instance while +the wind held good he had never missed opportunities to revictual, if +he passed by a village its pigs and poultry were his, and whenever he +passed by water he filled his tanks to the brim, and now that he could +only do two knots he sailed all night with a man and a lantern before +him: thus in that week he did close on four hundred miles while +another man would have anchored at night and have missed five or six +hours out of the twenty-four. Yet his men murmured. Did he think the +wind would last for ever, they said. And Shard only smoked. It was +clear that he was thinking, and thinking hard. "But what is he +thinking about?" said Bill to Bad Jack. And Bad Jack answered: "He may +think as hard as he likes but thinking won't get us out of the Sahara +if this wind were to drop." + +And towards the end of that week Shard went to his chart-room and laid +a new course for his ship a little to the East and towards +cultivation. And one day towards evening they sighted a village, and +twilight came and the wind dropped altogether. Then the murmurs of the +merry men grew to oaths and nearly to mutiny. "Where were they now?" +they asked, and were they being treated like poor honest men? + +Shard quieted them by asking what they wished to do themselves and +when no one had any better plan than going to the villagers and saying +that they had been blown out of their course by a storm, Shard +unfolded his scheme to them. Long ago he had heard how they drove +carts with oxen in Africa, oxen were very numerous in these parts +wherever there was any cultivation, and for this reason when the wind +had begun to drop he had laid his course for the village: that night +the moment it was dark they were to drive off fifty yoke of oxen; by +midnight they must all be yoked to the bows and then away they would +go at a good round gallop. + +So fine a plan as this astonished the men and they all apologised for +their want of faith in Shard, shaking hands with him every one and +spitting on their hands before they did so in token of good will. + +The raid that night succeeded admirably, but ingenious as Shard was on +land, and a past-master at sea, yet it must be admitted that lack of +experience in this class of seamanship led him to make a mistake, a +slight one it is true, and one that a little practice would have +prevented altogether: the oxen could not gallop. Shard swore at them, +threatened them with his pistol, said they should have no food, and +all to no avail: that night and as long as they pulled the bad ship +Desperate Lark they did one knot an hour and no more. Shard's failures +like everything that came his way were used as stones in the edifice +of his future success, he went at once to his chart-room and worked +out all his calculations anew. + +The matter of the oxen's pace made pursuit impossible to avoid. Shard +therefore countermanded his order to his lieutenant to cover the +tracks in the sand, and the Desperate Lark plodded on into the Sahara +on her new course trusting to her guns. + +The village was not a large one and the little crowd that was sighted +astern next morning disappeared after the first shot from the cannon +in the stern. At first Shard made the oxen wear rough iron bits, +another of his mistakes, and strong bits too. "For if they run away," +he had said, "we might as well be driving before a gale and there's no +saying where we'd find ourselves," but after a day or two he found +that the bits were no good and, like the practical man he was, +immediately corrected his mistake. + +And now the crew sang merry songs all day bringing out mandolins and +clarionets and cheering Captain Shard. All were jolly except the +captain himself whose face was moody and perplexed; he alone expected +to hear more of those villagers; and the oxen were drinking up the +water every day, he alone feared that there was no more to be had, and +a very unpleasant fear that is when your ship is becalmed in a desert. +For over a week they went on like this doing ten knots a day and the +music and singing got on the captain's nerves, but he dared not tell +his men what the trouble was. And then one day the oxen drank up the +last of the water. And Lieutenant Smerdrak came and reported the fact. + +"Give them rum," said Shard, and he cursed the oxen. "What is good +enough for me," he said, "should be good enough for them," and he +swore that they should have rum. + +"Aye, aye, sir," said the young lieutenant of pirates. + +Shard should not be judged by the orders he gave that day, for nearly +a fortnight he had watched the doom that was coming slowly towards +him, discipline cut him off from anyone that might have shared his +fear and discussed it, and all the while he had had to navigate his +ship, which even at sea is an arduous responsibility. These things had +fretted the calm of that clear judgment that had once baffled five +navies. Therefore he cursed the oxen and ordered them rum, and +Smerdrak had said "Aye, aye, sir," and gone below. + +Towards sunset Shard was standing on the poop, thinking of death; it +would not come to him by thirst; mutiny first, he thought. The oxen +were refusing rum for the last time, and the men were beginning to eye +Captain Shard in a very ominous way, not muttering, but each man +looking at him with a sidelong look of the eye as though there were +only one thought among them all that had no need of words. A score of +geese like a long letter "V" were crossing the evening sky, they +slanted their necks and all went twisting downwards somewhere about +the horizon. Captain Shard rushed to his chart-room, and presently the +men came in at the door with Old Frank in front looking awkward and +twisting his cap in his hand. + +"What is it?" said Shard as though nothing were wrong. + +Then Old Frank said what he had come to say: "We want to know what you +be going to do." + +And the men nodded grimly. + +"Get water for the oxen," said Captain Shard, "as the swine won't have +rum, and they'll have to work for it, the lazy beasts. Up anchor!" + +And at the word water a look came into their faces like when some +wanderer suddenly thinks of home. + +"Water!" they said. + +"Why not?" said Captain Shard. And none of them ever knew that but for +those geese, that slanted their necks and suddenly twisted downwards, +they would have found no water that night nor ever after, and the +Sahara would have taken them as she has taken so many and shall take +so many more. All that night they followed their new course: at dawn +they found an oasis and the oxen drank. + +And here, on this green acre or so with its palm-trees and its well, +beleaguered by thousands of miles of desert and holding out through +the ages, here they decided to stay: for those who have been without +water for a while in one of Africa's deserts come to have for that +simple fluid such a regard as you, O reader, might not easily credit. +And here each man chose a site where he would build his hut, and +settle down, and marry perhaps, and even forget the sea; when Captain +Shard having filled his tanks and barrels peremptorily ordered them to +weigh anchor. There was much dissatisfaction, even some grumbling, but +when a man has twice saved his fellows from death by the sheer +freshness of his mind they come to have a respect for his judgment +that is not shaken by trifles. It must be remembered that in the +affair of the dropping of the wind and again when they ran out of +water these men were at their wits' end: so was Shard on the last +occasion, but that they did not know. All this Shard knew, and he +chose this occasion to strengthen the reputation that he had in the +minds of the men of that bad ship by explaining to them his motives, +which usually he kept secret. The oasis he said must be a port of call +for all the travellers within hundreds of miles: how many men did you +see gathered together in any part of the world where there was a drop +of whiskey to be had! And water here was rarer than whiskey in decent +countries and, such was the peculiarity of the Arabs, even more +precious. Another thing he pointed out to them, the Arabs were a +singularly inquisitive people and if they came upon a ship in the +desert they would probably talk about it; and the world having a +wickedly malicious tongue would never construe in its proper light +their difference with the English and Spanish fleets, but would merely +side with the strong against the weak. + +And the men sighed, and sang the capstan song and hoisted the anchor +and yoked the oxen up, and away they went doing their steady knot, +which nothing could increase. It may be thought strange that with all +sail furled in dead calm and while the oxen rested they should have +cast anchor at all. But custom is not easily overcome and long +survives its use. Rather enquire how many such useless customs we +ourselves preserve: the flaps for instance to pull up the tops of +hunting-boots though the tops no longer pull up, the bows on our +evening shoes that neither tie nor untie. They said they felt safer +that way and there was an end of it. + +Shard lay a course of South by West and they did ten knots that day, +the next day they did seven or eight and Shard hove to. Here he +intended to stop, they had huge supplies of fodder on board for the +oxen, for his men he had a pig or so, plenty of poultry, several sacks +of biscuits and ninety-eight oxen (for two were already eaten), and +they were only twenty miles from water. Here he said they would stay +till folks forgot their past, someone would invent something or some +new thing would turn up to take folks' minds off them and the ships he +had sunk: he forgot that there are men who are well paid to remember. + +Half way between him and the oasis he established a little depot where +he buried his water-barrels. As soon as a barrel was empty he sent +half a dozen men to roll it by turns to the depot. This they would do +at night, keeping hid by day, and next night they would push on to the +oasis, fill the barrel and roll it back. Thus only ten miles away he +soon had a store of water, unknown to the thirstiest native of Africa, +from which he could safely replenish his tanks at will. He allowed his +men to sing and even within reason to light fires. Those were jolly +nights while the rum held out; sometimes they saw gazelles watching +them curiously, sometimes a lion went by over the sand, the sound of +his roar added to their sense of the security of their ship; all round +them level, immense lay the Sahara: "This is better than an English +prison," said Captain Shard. + +And still the dead calm lasted, not even the sand whispered at night +to little winds; and when the rum gave out and it looked like trouble, +Shard reminded them what little use it had been to them when it was +all they had and the oxen wouldn't look at it. + +And the days wore on with singing, and even dancing at times, and at +nights round a cautious fire in a hollow of sand with only one man on +watch they told tales of the sea. It was all a relief after arduous +watches and sleeping by the guns, a rest to strained nerves and eyes; +and all agreed, for all that they missed their rum, that the best +place for a ship like theirs was the land. + +This was in Latitude 23 North, Longitude 4 East, where, as I have +said, a ship's broadside was heard for the first time and the last. It +happened this way. + +They had been there several weeks and had eaten perhaps ten or a dozen +oxen and all that while there had been no breath of wind and they had +seen no one: when one morning about two bells when the crew were at +breakfast the lookout man reported cavalry on the port side. Shard who +had already surrounded his ship with sharpened stakes ordered all his +men on board, the young trumpeter who prided himself on having picked +up the ways of the land, sounded "Prepare to receive cavalry". Shard +sent a few men below with pikes to the lower port-holes, two more +aloft with muskets, the rest to the guns, he changed the "grape" or +"canister" with which the guns were loaded in case of surprise, for +shot, cleared the decks, drew in ladders, and before the cavalry came +within range everything was ready for them. The oxen were always yoked +in order that Shard could manoeuvre his ship at a moment's notice. + +When first sighted the cavalry were trotting but they were coming on +now at a slow canter. Arabs in white robes on good horses. Shard +estimated that there were two or three hundred of them. At sixty yards +Shard opened with one gun, he had had the distance measured, but had +never practised for fear of being heard at the oasis: the shot went +high. The next one fell short and ricochetted over the Arabs' heads. +Shard had the range then and by the time the ten remaining guns of his +broadside were given the same elevation as that of his second gun the +Arabs had come to the spot where the last shot pitched. The broadside +hit the horses, mostly low, and ricochetted on amongst them; one +cannon-ball striking a rock at the horses' feet shattered it and sent +fragments flying amongst the Arabs with the peculiar scream of things +set free by projectiles from their motionless harmless state, and the +cannon-ball went on with them with a great howl, this shot alone +killed three men. + +"Very satisfactory," said Shard rubbing his chin. "Load with grape," +he added sharply. + +The broadside did not stop the Arabs nor even reduce their speed but +they crowded in closer together as though for company in their time of +danger, which they should not have done. They were four hundred yards +off now, three hundred and fifty; and then the muskets began, for the +two men in the crow's-nest had thirty loaded muskets besides a few +pistols, the muskets all stood round them leaning against the rail; +they picked them up and fired them one by one. Every shot told, but +still the Arabs came on. They were galloping now. It took some time to +load the guns in those days. Three hundred yards, two hundred and +fifty, men dropping all the way, two hundred yards; Old Frank for all +his one ear had terrible eyes; it was pistols now, they had fired all +their muskets; a hundred and fifty; Shard had marked the fifties with +little white stones. Old Frank and Bad Jack up aloft felt pretty +uneasy when they saw the Arabs had come to that little white stone, +they both missed their shots. + +"All ready?" said Captain Shard. + +"Aye, aye, sir," said Smerdrak. + +"Right," said Captain Shard raising a finger. + +A hundred and fifty yards is a bad range at which to be caught by +grape (or "case" as we call it now), the gunners can hardly miss and +the charge has time to spread. Shard estimated afterwards that he got +thirty Arabs by that broadside alone and as many horses. + +There were close on two hundred of them still on their horses, yet the +broadside of grape had unsettled them, they surged round the ship but +seemed doubtful what to do. They carried swords and scimitars in their +hands, though most had strange long muskets slung behind them, a few +unslung them and began firing wildly. They could not reach Shard's +merry men with their swords. Had it not been for that broadside that +took them when it did they might have climbed up from their horses and +carried the bad ship by sheer force of numbers, but they would have +had to have been very steady, and the broadside spoiled all that. +Their best course was to have concentrated all their efforts in +setting fire to the ship but this they did not attempt. Part of them +swarmed all round the ship brandishing their swords and looking vainly +for an easy entrance; perhaps they expected a door, they were not +sea-faring people; but their leaders were evidently set on driving off +the oxen not dreaming that the Desperate Lark had other means of +travelling. And this to some extent they succeeded in doing. Thirty +they drove off, cutting the traces, twenty they killed on the spot +with their scimitars though the bow gun caught them twice as they did +their work, and ten more were unluckily killed by Shard's bow gun. +Before they could fire a third time from the bows they all galloped +away, firing back at the oxen with their muskets and killing three +more, and what troubled Shard more than the loss of his oxen was the +way that they manoeuvred, galloping off just when the bow gun was +ready and riding off by the port bow where the broadside could not get +them, which seemed to him to show more knowledge of guns than they +could have learned on that bright morning. What, thought Shard to +himself, if they should bring big guns against the Desperate Lark! And +the mere thought of it made him rail at Fate. But the merry men all +cheered when they rode away. Shard had only twenty-two oxen left, and +then a score or so of the Arabs dismounted while the rest rode further +on leading their horses. And the dismounted men lay down on the port +bow behind some rocks two hundred yards away and began to shoot at the +oxen. Shard had just enough of them left to manoeuvre his ship with an +effort and he turned his ship a few points to the starboard so as to +get a broadside at the rocks. But grape was of no use here as the only +way he could get an Arab was by hitting one of the rocks with shot +behind which an Arab was lying, and the rocks were not easy to hit +except by chance, and as often as he manoeuvred his ship the Arabs +changed their ground. This went on all day while the mounted Arabs +hovered out of range watching what Shard would do; and all the while +the oxen were growing fewer, so good a mark were they, until only ten +were left, and the ship could manoeuvre no longer. But then they all +rode off. + +The merry men were delighted, they calculated that one way and another +they had unhorsed a hundred Arabs and on board there had been no more +than one man wounded: Bad Jack had been hit in the wrist; probably by +a bullet meant for the men at the guns, for the Arabs were firing +high. They had captured a horse and had found quaint weapons on the +bodies of the dead Arabs and an interesting kind of tobacco. It was +evening now and they talked over the fight, made jokes about their +luckier shots, smoked their new tobacco and sang; altogether it was +the jolliest evening they'd had. But Shard alone on the quarter-deck +paced to and fro pondering, brooding and wondering. He had chopped off +Bad Jack's wounded hand and given him a hook out of store, for captain +does doctor upon these occasions and Shard, who was ready for most +things, kept half a dozen or so of neat new limbs, and of course a +chopper. Bad Jack had gone below swearing a little and said he'd lie +down for a bit, the men were smoking and singing on the sand, and +Shard was there alone. The thought that troubled Shard was: what would +the Arabs do? They did not look like men to go away for nothing. And +at back of all his thoughts was one that reiterated guns, guns, guns. +He argued with himself that they could not drag them all that way on +the sand, that the Desperate Lark was not worth it, that they had +given it up. Yet he knew in his heart that that was what they would +do. He knew there were fortified towns in Africa, and as for its being +worth it, he knew that there was no pleasant thing left now to those +defeated men except revenge, and if the Desperate Lark had come over +the sand why not guns? He knew that the ship could never hold out +against guns and cavalry, a week perhaps, two weeks, even three: what +difference did it make how long it was, and the men sang: + + Away we go, Oho, Oho, Oho, + A drop of rum for you and me + And the world's as round as the letter O + And round it runs the sea. + +A melancholy settled down on Shard. + +About sunset Lieutenant Smerdrak came up for orders. Shard ordered a +trench to be dug along the port side of the ship. The men wanted to +sing and grumbled at having to dig, especially as Shard never +mentioned his fear of guns, but he fingered his pistols and in the end +Shard had his way. No one on board could shoot like Captain Shard. +That is often the way with captains of pirate ships, it is a difficult +position to hold. Discipline is essential to those that have the right +to fly the skull-and-cross-bones, and Shard was the man to enforce it. +It was starlight by the time the trench was dug to the captain's +satisfaction and the men that it was to protect when the worst came to +the worst swore all the time as they dug. And when it was finished +they clamoured to make a feast on some of the killed oxen, and this +Shard let them do. And they lit a huge fire for the first time, +burning abundant scrub, they thinking that Arabs daren't return, Shard +knowing that concealment was now useless. All that night they feasted +and sang, and Shard sat up in his chart-room making his plans. + +When morning came they rigged up the cutter as they called the +captured horse and told off her crew. As there were only two men that +could ride at all these became the crew of the cutter. Spanish Dick +and Bill the Boatswain were the two. + +Shard's orders were that turn and turn about they should take command +of the cutter and cruise about five miles off to the North East all +the day but at night they were to come in. And they fitted the horse +up with a flagstaff in front of the saddle so that they could signal +from her, and carried an anchor behind for fear she should run away. + +And as soon as Spanish Dick had ridden off Shard sent some men to roll +all the barrels back from the depot where they were buried in the +sand, with orders to watch the cutter all the time and, if she +signalled, to return as fast as they could. + +They buried the Arabs that day, removing their water-bottles and any +provisions they had, and that night they got all the water-barrels in, +and for days nothing happened. One event of extraordinary importance +did indeed occur, the wind got up one day, but it was due South, and +as the oasis lay to the North of them and beyond that they might pick +up the camel track Shard decided to stay where he was. If it had +looked to him like lasting Shard might have hoisted sail but it it +dropped at evening as he knew it would, and in any case it was not the +wind he wanted. And more days went by, two weeks without a breeze. The +dead oxen would not keep and they had had to kill three more, there +were only seven left now. + +Never before had the men been so long without rum. And Captain Shard +had doubled the watch besides making two more men sleep at the guns. +They had tired of their simple games, and most of their songs, and +their tales that were never true were no longer new. And then one day +the monotony of the desert came down upon them. + +There is a fascination in the Sahara, a day there is delightful, a +week is pleasant, a fortnight is a matter of opinion, but it was +running into months. The men were perfectly polite but the boatswain +wanted to know when Shard thought of moving on. It was an unreasonable +question to ask of the captain of any ship in a dead calm in a desert, +but Shard said he would set a course and let him know in a day or two. +And a day or two went by over the monotony of the Sahara, who for +monotony is unequalled by all the parts of the earth. Great marshes +cannot equal it, nor plains of grass nor the sea, the Sahara alone +lies unaltered by the seasons, she has no altering surface, no flowers +to fade or grow, year in year out she is changeless for hundreds and +hundreds of miles. And the boatswain came again and took off his cap +and asked Captain Shard to be so kind as to tell them about his new +course. Shard said he meant to stay until they had eaten three more of +the oxen as they could only take three of them in the hold, there were +only six left now. But what if there was no wind, the boatswain said. +And at that moment the faintest breeze from the North ruffled the +boatswain's forelock as he stood with his cap in his hand. + +"Don't talk about the wind to _me_," said Captain Shard: and Bill was +a little frightened for Shard's mother had been a gipsy. + +But it was only a breeze astray, a trick of the Sahara. And another +week went by and they ate two more oxen. + +They obeyed Captain Shard ostentatiously now but they wore ominous +looks. Bill came again and Shard answered him in Romany. + +Things were like this one hot Sahara morning when the cutter +signalled. The lookout man told Shard and Shard read the message, +"Cavalry astern" it read, and then a little later she signalled, "With +guns." + +"Ah," said Captain Shard. + +One ray of hope Shard had; the flags on the cutter fluttered. For the +first time for five weeks a light breeze blew from the North, very +light, you hardly felt it. Spanish Dick rode in and anchored his horse +to starboard and the cavalry came on slowly from the port. + +Not till the afternoon did they come in sight, and all the while that +little breeze was blowing. + +"One knot," said Shard at noon. "Two knots," he said at six bells and +still it grew and the Arabs trotted nearer. By five o'clock the merry +men of the bad ship Desperate Lark could make out twelve long +old-fashioned guns on low wheeled carts dragged by horses and what +looked like lighter guns carried on camels. The wind was blowing a +little stronger now. "Shall we hoist sail, sir?" said Bill. + +"Not yet," said Shard. + +By six o'clock the Arabs were just outside the range of cannon and +there they halted. Then followed an anxious hour or so, but the Arabs +came no nearer. They evidently meant to wait till dark to bring their +guns up. Probably they intended to dig a gun epaulment from which they +could safely pound away at the ship. + +"We could do three knots," said Shard half to himself as he was +walking up and down his quarter-deck with very fast short paces. And +then the sun set and they heard the Arabs praying and Shard's merry +men cursed at the top of their voices to show that they were as good +men as they. + +The Arabs had come no nearer, waiting for night. They did not know how +Shard was longing for it too, he was gritting his teeth and sighing +for it, he even would have prayed, but that he feared that it might +remind Heaven of him and his merry men. + +Night came and the stars. "Hoist sail," said Shard. The men sprang to +their places, they had had enough of that silent lonely spot. They +took the oxen on board and let the great sails down, and like a lover +coming from over sea, long dreamed of, long expected, like a lost +friend seen again after many years, the North wind came into the +pirates' sails. And before Shard could stop it a ringing English cheer +went away to the wondering Arabs. + +They started off at three knots and soon they might have done four but +Shard would not risk it at night. All night the wind held good, and +doing three knots from ten to four they were far out of sight of the +Arabs when daylight came. And then Shard hoisted more sail and they +did four knots and by eight bells they were doing four and a half. The +spirits of those volatile men rose high, and discipline became +perfect. So long as there was wind in the sails and water in the tanks +Captain Shard felt safe at least from mutiny. Great men can only be +overthrown while their fortunes are at their lowest. Having failed to +depose Shard when his plans were open to criticism and he himself +scarce knew what to do next it was hardly likely they could do it now; +and whatever we think of his past and his way of living we cannot deny +that Shard was among the great men of the world. + +Of defeat by the Arabs he did not feel so sure. It was useless to try +to cover his tracks even if he had had time, the Arab cavalry could +have picked them up anywhere. And he was afraid of their camels with +those light guns on board, he had heard they could do seven knots and +keep it up most of the day and if as much as one shot struck the +mainmast... and Shard taking his mind off useless fears worked out on +his chart when the Arabs were likely to overtake them. He told his men +that the wind would hold good for a week, and, gipsy or no, he +certainly knew as much about the wind as is good for a sailor to know. + +Alone in his chart-room he worked it out like this, mark two hours to +the good for surprise and finding the tracks and delay in starting, +say three hours if the guns were mounted in their epaulments, then the +Arabs should start at seven. Supposing the camels go twelve hours a +day at seven knots they would do eighty-four knots a day, while Shard +doing three knots from ten to four, and four knots the rest of the +time, was doing ninety and actually gaining. But when it came to it he +wouldn't risk more than two knots at night while the enemy were out of +sight, for he rightly regarded anything more than that as dangerous +when sailing on land at night, so he too did eighty-four knots a day. +It was a pretty race. I have not troubled to see if Shard added up his +figures wrongly or if he under-rated the pace of camels, but whatever +it was the Arabs gained slightly, for on the fourth day Spanish Jack, +five knots astern on what they called the cutter, sighted the camels a +very long way off and signalled the fact to Shard. They had left their +cavalry behind as Shard supposed they would. The wind held good, they +had still two oxen left and could always eat their "cutter", and they +had a fair, though not ample, supply of water, but the appearance of +the Arabs was a blow to Shard for it showed him that there was no +getting away from them, and of all things he dreaded guns. He made +light of it to the men: said they would sink the lot before they had +been in action half an hour: yet he feared that once the guns came up +it was only a question of time before his rigging was cut or his +steering gear disabled. + +One point the Desperate Lark scored over the Arabs and a very good one +too, darkness fell just before they could have sighted her and now +Shard used the lantern ahead as he dared not do on the first night +when the Arabs were close, and with the help of it managed to do three +knots. The Arabs encamped in the evening and the Desperate Lark gained +twenty knots. But the next evening they appeared again and this time +they saw the sails of the Desperate Lark. + +On the sixth day they were close. On the seventh they were closer. And +then, a line of verdure across their bows, Shard saw the Niger River. + +Whether he knew that for a thousand miles it rolled its course through +forest, whether he even knew that it was there at all; what his plans +were, or whether he lived from day to day like a man whose days are +numbered he never told his men. Nor can I get an indication on this +point from the talk that I hear from sailors in their cups in a +certain tavern I know of. His face was expressionless, his mouth shut, +and he held his ship to her course. That evening they were up to the +edge of the tree trunks and the Arabs camped and waited ten knots +astern and the wind had sunk a little. + +There Shard anchored a little before sunset and landed at once. At +first he explored the forest a little on foot. Then he sent for +Spanish Dick. They had slung the cutter on board some days ago when +they found she could not keep up. Shard could not ride but he sent for +Spanish Dick and told him he must take him as a passenger. So Spanish +Dick slung him in front of the saddle "before the mast" as Shard +called it, for they still carried a mast on the front of the saddle, +and away they galloped together. "Rough weather," said Shard, but he +surveyed the forest as he went and the long and short of it was he +found a place where the forest was less than half a mile thick and the +Desperate Lark might get through: but twenty trees must be cut. Shard +marked the trees himself, sent Spanish Dick right back to watch the +Arabs and turned the whole of his crew on to those twenty trees. It +was a frightful risk, the Desperate Lark was empty, with an enemy no +more than ten knots astern, but it was a moment for bold measures and +Shard took the chance of being left without his ship in the heart of +Africa in the hope of being repaid by escaping altogether. + +The men worked all night on those twenty trees, those that had no axes +bored with bradawls and blasted, and then relieved those that had. + +Shard was indefatigable, he went from tree to tree showing exactly +what way every one was to fall, and what was to be done with them when +they were down. Some had to be cut down because their branches would +get in the way of the masts, others because their trunks would be in +the way of the wheels; in the case of the last the stumps had to be +made smooth and low with saws and perhaps a bit of the trunk sawn off +and rolled away. This was the hardest work they had. And they were all +large trees, on the other hand had they been small there would have +been many more of them and they could not have sailed in and out, +sometimes for hundreds of yards, without cutting any at all: and all +this Shard calculated on doing if only there was time. + +The light before dawn came and it looked as if they would never do it +at all. And then dawn came and it was all done but one tree, the hard +part of the work had all been done in the night and a sort of final +rush cleared everything up except that one huge tree. And then the +cutter signalled the Arabs were moving. At dawn they had prayed, and +now they had struck their camp. Shard at once ordered all his men to +the ship except ten whom he left at the tree, they had some way to go +and the Arabs had been moving some ten minutes before they got there. +Shard took in the cutter which wasted five minutes, hoisted sail +short-handed and that took five minutes more, and slowly got under +way. + +The wind was dropping still and by the time the Desperate Lark had +come to the edge of that part of the forest through which Shard had +laid his course the Arabs were no more than five knots away. He had +sailed East half a mile, which he ought to have done overnight so as +to be ready, but he could not spare time or thought or men away from +those twenty trees. Then Shard turned into the forest and the Arabs +were dead astern. They hurried when they saw the Desperate Lark enter +the forest. + +"Doing ten knots," said Shard as he watched them from the deck. The +Desperate Lark was doing no more than a knot and a half for the wind +was weak under the lee of the trees. Yet all went well for a while. +The big tree had just come down some way ahead, and the ten men were +sawing bits off the trunk. + +And then Shard saw a branch that he had not marked on the chart, it +would just catch the top of the mainmast. He anchored at once and sent +a hand aloft who sawed it half way through and did the rest with a +pistol, and now the Arabs were only three knots astern. For a quarter +of a mile Shard steered them through the forest till they came to the +ten men and that bad big tree, another foot had yet to come off one +corner of the stump for the wheels had to pass over it. Shard turned +all hands on to the stump and it was then that the Arabs came within +shot. But they had to unpack their gun. And before they had it mounted +Shard was away. If they had charged things might have been different. +When they saw the Desperate Lark under way again the Arabs came on to +within three hundred yards and there they mounted two guns. Shard +watched them along his stern gun but would not fire. They were six +hundred yards away before the Arabs could fire and then they fired too +soon and both guns missed. And Shard and his merry men saw clear water +only ten fathoms ahead. Then Shard loaded his stern gun with canister +instead of shot and at the same moment the Arabs charged on their +camels; they came galloping down through the forest waving long +lances. Shard left the steering to Smerdrak and stood by the stern +gun, the Arabs were within fifty yards and still Shard did not fire; +he had most of his men in the stern with muskets beside him. Those +lances carried on camels were altogether different from swords in the +hands of horsemen, they could reach the men on deck. The men could see +the horrible barbs on the lanceheads, they were almost at their faces +when Shard fired, and at the same moment the Desperate Lark with her +dry and suncracked keel in air on the high bank of the Niger fell +forward like a diver. The gun went off through the tree-tops, a wave +came over the bows and swept the stern, the Desperate Lark wriggled +and righted herself, she was back in her element. + +The merry men looked at the wet decks and at their dripping +clothes. "Water," they said almost wonderingly. + +The Arabs followed a little way through the forest but when they saw +that they had to face a broadside instead of one stern gun and +perceived that a ship afloat is less vulnerable to cavalry even than +when on shore, they abandoned ideas of revenge, and comforted +themselves with a text out of their sacred book which tells how in +other days and other places our enemies shall suffer even as we +desire. + +For a thousand miles with the flow of the Niger and the help of +occasional winds, the Desperate Lark moved seawards. At first he +sweeps East a little and then Southwards, till you come to Akassa and +the open sea. + +I will not tell you how they caught fish and ducks, raided a village +here and there and at last came to Akassa, for I have said much +already of Captain Shard. Imagine them drawing nearer and nearer the +sea, bad men all, and yet with a feeling for something where we feel +for our king, our country or our home, a feeling for something that +burned in them not less ardently than our feelings in us, and that +something the sea. Imagine them nearing it till sea birds appeared and +they fancied they felt sea breezes and all sang songs again that they +had not sung for weeks. Imagine them heaving at last on the salt +Atlantic again. + +I have said much already of Captain Shard and I fear lest I shall +weary you, O my reader, if I tell you any more of so bad a man. I too +at the top of a tower all alone am weary. + +And yet it is right that such a tale should be told. A journey almost +due South from near Algiers to Akassa in a ship that we should call no +more than a yacht. Let it be a stimulus to younger men. + + + Guarantee To The Reader + +Since writing down for your benefit, O my reader, all this long tale +that I heard in the tavern by the sea I have travelled in Algeria and +Tunisia as well as in the Desert. Much that I saw in those countries +seems to throw doubt on the tale that the sailor told me. To begin +with the Desert does not come within hundreds of miles of the coast +and there are more mountains to cross than you would suppose, the +Atlas mountains in particular. It is just possible Shard might have +got through by El Cantara, following the camel road which is many +centuries old; or he may have gone by Algiers and Bou Saada and +through the mountain pass El Finita Dem, though that is a bad enough +way for camels to go (let alone bullocks with a ship) for which reason +the Arabs call it Finita Dem--the Path of Blood. + +I should not have ventured to give this story the publicity of print +had the sailor been sober when he told it, for fear that he I should +have deceived you, O my reader; but this was never the case with him +as I took good care to ensure: "in vino veritas" is a sound old +proverb, and I never had cause to doubt his word unless that proverb +lies. + +If it should prove that he has deceived me, let it pass; but if he has +been the means of deceiving you there are little things about him that +I know, the common gossip of that ancient tavern whose leaded +bottle-glass windows watch the sea, which I will tell at once to every +judge of my acquaintance, and it will be a pretty race to see which of +them will hang him. + +Meanwhile, O my reader, believe the story, resting assured that if you +are taken in the thing shall be a matter for the hangman. + + + + + +A Tale of the Equator + +He who is Sultan so remote to the East that his dominions were deemed +fabulous in Babylon, whose name is a by-word for distance today in the +streets of Bagdad, whose capital bearded travellers invoke by name in +the gate at evening to gather hearers to their tales when the smoke of +tobacco arises, dice rattle and taverns shine; even he in that very +city made mandate, and said: "Let there be brought hither all my +learned men that they may come before me and rejoice my heart with +learning." + +Men ran and clarions sounded, and it was so that there came before the +Sultan all of his learned men. And many were found wanting. But of +those that were able to say acceptable things, ever after to be named +The Fortunate, one said that to the South of the Earth lay a Land-- +said Land was crowned with lotus--where it was summer in our winter +days and where it was winter in summer. + +And when the Sultan of those most distant lands knew that the Creator +of All had contrived a device so vastly to his delight his merriment +knew no bounds. On a sudden he spake and said, and this was the gist +of his saying, that upon that line of boundary or limit that divided +the North from the South a palace be made, where in the Northern +courts should summer be, while in the South was winter; so should he +move from court to court according to his mood, and dally with the +summer in the morning and spend the noon with snow. So the Sultan's +poets were sent for and bade to tell of that city, foreseeing its +splendour far away to the South and in the future of time; and some +were found fortunate. And of those that were found fortunate and were +crowned with flowers none earned more easily the Sultan's smile (on +which long days depended) than he that foreseeing the city spake of it +thus: + +"In seven years and seven days, O Prop of Heaven, shall thy builders +build it, thy palace that is neither North nor South, where neither +summer nor winter is sole lord of the hours. White I see it, very +vast, as a city, very fair, as a woman, Earth's wonder, with many +windows, with thy princesses peering out at twilight; yea, I behold +the bliss of the gold balconies, and hear a rustling down long +galleries and the doves' coo upon its sculptured eaves. O Prop of +Heaven, would that so fair a city were built by thine ancient sires, +the children of the sun, that so might all men see it even today, and +not the poets only, whose vision sees it so far away to the South and +in the future of time. + +"O King of the Years, it shall stand midmost on that line that +divideth equally the North from the South and that parteth the seasons +asunder as with a screen. On the Northern side when summer is in the +North thy silken guards shall pace by dazzling walls while thy +spearsmen clad in furs go round the South. But at the hour of noon in +the midmost day of the year thy chamberlain shall go down from his +high place and into the midmost court, and men with trumpets shall go +down behind him, and he shall utter a great cry at noon, and the men +with trumpets shall cause their trumpets to blare, and the spearsmen +clad in furs shall march to the North and thy silken guard shall take +their place in the South, and summer shall leave the North and go to +the South, and all the swallows shall rise and follow after. And alone +in thine inner courts shall no change be, for they shall lie narrowly +along that line that parteth the seasons in sunder and divideth the +North from the South, and thy long gardens shall lie under them. + +"And in thy gardens shall spring always be, for spring lies ever at +the marge of summer; and autumn also shall always tint thy gardens, +for autumn always flares at winter's edge, and those gardens shall lie +apart between winter and summer. And there shall be orchards in thy +garden, too, with all the burden of autumn on their boughs and all the +blossom of spring. + +"Yea, I behold this palace, for we see future things; I see its white +wall shine in the huge glare of midsummer, and the lizards lying along +it motionless in the sun, and men asleep in the noonday, and the +butterflies floating by, and birds of radiant plumage chasing +marvellous moths; far off the forest and great orchids glorying there, +and iridescent insects dancing round in the light. I see the wall upon +the other side; the snow has come upon the battlements, the icicles +have fringed them like frozen beards, a wild wind blowing out of +lonely places and crying to the cold fields as it blows has sent the +snowdrifts higher than the buttresses; they that look out through +windows on that side of thy palace see the wild geese flying low and +all the birds of the winter, going by swift in packs beat low by the +bitter wind, and the clouds above them are black, for it is midwinter +there; while in thine other courts the fountains tinkle, falling on +marble warmed by the fire of the summer sun. + +"Such, O King of the Years, shall thy palace be, and its name shall be +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder; and thy wisdom shall bid thine +architects build at once, that all may see what as yet the poets see +only, and that prophecy be fulfilled." + +And when the poet ceased the Sultan spake, and said, as all men +hearkened with bent heads: + +"It will be unnecessary for my builders to build this palace, +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder, for in hearing thee we have drunk +already its pleasures." + +And the poet went forth from the Presence and dreamed a new thing. + + . . . . . + + + + + +A Narrow Escape + +It was underground. + +In that dank cavern down below Belgrave Square the walls were +dripping. But what was that to the magician? It was secrecy that he +needed, not dryness. There he pondered upon the trend of events, +shaped destinies and concocted magical brews. + +For the last few years the serenity of his ponderings had been +disturbed by the noise of the motor-bus; while to his keen ears there +came the earthquake-rumble, far off, of the train in the tube, going +down Sloane Street; and when he heard of the world above his head was +not to its credit. + +He decided one evening over his evil pipe, down there in his dank +chamber, that London had lived long enough, had abused its +opportunities, had gone too far, in fine, with its civilisation. And +so he decided to wreck it. + +Therefore he beckoned up his acolyte from the weedy end of the cavern, +and, "Bring me," he said, "the heart of the toad that dwelleth in +Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." The acolyte slipped away by +the hidden door, leaving that grim old man with his frightful pipe, +and whither he went who knows but the gipsy people, or by what path he +returned; but within a year he stood in the cavern again, slipping +secretly in by the trap while the old man smoked, and he brought with +him a little fleshy thing that rotted in a casket of pure gold. + +"What is it?" the old man croaked. + +"It is," said the acolyte, "the heart of the toad that dwelt once +in Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." + +The old man's crooked fingers closed on it, and he blessed the acolyte +with his rasping voice and claw-like hand uplifted; the motor-bus +rumbled above on its endless journey; far off the train shook Sloane +Street. + +"Come," said the old magician, "it is time." And there and then they +left the weedy cavern, the acolyte carrying cauldron, gold poker and +all things needful, and went abroad in the light. And very wonderful +the old man looked in his silks. + +Their goal was the outskirts of London; the old man strode in front +and the acolyte ran behind him, and there was something magical in the +old man's stride alone, without his wonderful dress, the cauldron and +wand, the hurrying acolyte and the small gold poker. + +Little boys jeered till they caught the old man's eye. So there went +on through London this strange procession of two, too swift for any to +follow. Things seemed worse up there than they did in the cavern, and +the further they got on their way towards London's outskirts the worse +London got. "It is time," said the old man, "surely." + +And so they came at last to London's edge and a small hill watching it +with a mournful look. It was so mean that the acolyte longed for the +cavern, dank though it was and full of terrible sayings that the old +man said when he slept. + +They climbed the hill and put the cauldron down, and put there in the +necessary things, and lit a fire of herbs that no chemist will sell +nor decent gardener grow, and stirred the cauldron with the golden +poker. The magician retired a little apart and muttered, then he +strode back to the cauldron and, all being ready, suddenly opened the +casket and let the fleshy thing fall in to boil. + +Then he made spells, then he flung up his arms; the fumes from the +cauldron entering in at his mind he said raging things that he had not +known before and runes that were dreadful (the acolyte screamed); +there he cursed London from fog to loam-pit, from zenith to the abyss, +motor-bus, factory, shop, parliament, people. "Let them all perish," +he said, "and London pass away, tram lines and bricks and pavement, +the usurpers too long of the fields, let them all pass away and the +wild hares come back, blackberry and briar-rose." + +"Let it pass," he said, "pass now, pass utterly." + +In the momentary silence the old man coughed, then waited with eager +eyes; and the long long hum of London hummed as it always has since +first the reed-huts were set up by the river, changing its note at +times but always humming, louder now than it was in years gone by, but +humming night and day though its voice be cracked with age; so it +hummed on. + +And the old man turned him round to his trembling acolyte and terribly +said as he sank into the earth: "YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT ME THE HEART +OF THE TOAD THAT DWELLETH IN ARABIA NOR BY THE MOUNTAINS OF BETHANY!" + + + + + +The Watch-tower + +I sat one April in Provence on a small hill above an ancient town +that Goth and Vandal as yet have forborne to "bring up to date." + +On the hill was an old worn castle with a watch-tower, and a well with +narrow steps and water in it still. + +The watch-tower, staring South with neglected windows, faced a broad +valley full of the pleasant twilight and the hum of evening things: it +saw the fires of wanderers blink from the hills, beyond them the long +forest black with pines, one star appearing, and darkness settling +slowly down on Var. + +Sitting there listening to the green frogs croaking, hearing far +voices clearly but all transmuted by evening, watching the windows in +the little town glimmering one by one, and seeing the gloaming dwindle +solemnly into night, a great many things fell from mind that seem +important by day, and evening in their place planted strange fancies. + +Little winds had arisen and were whispering to and fro, it grew cold, +and I was about to descend the hill, when I heard a voice behind me +saying, "Beware, beware." + +So much the voice appeared a part of the evening that I did not turn +round at first; it was like voices that one hears in sleep and thinks +to be of one's dream. And the word was monotonously repeated, in +French. + +When I turned round I saw an old man with a horn. He had a white beard +marvellously long, and still went on saying slowly, "Beware, beware." +He had clearly just come from the tower by which he stood, though I +had heard no footfall. Had a man come stealthily upon me at such an +hour and in so lonesome a place I had certainly felt surprised; but I +saw almost at once that he was a spirit, and he seemed with his +uncouth horn and his long white beard and that noiseless step of his +to be so native to that time and place that I spoke to him as one does +to some fellow-traveller who asks you if you mind having the window +up. + +I asked him what there was to beware of. + +"Of what should a town beware," he said, "but the Saracens?" + +"Saracens?" I said. + +"Yes, Saracens, Saracens," he answered and brandished his horn. + +"And who are you?" I said. + +"I, I am the spirit of the tower," he said. + +When I asked him how he came by so human an aspect and was so unlike +the material tower beside him he told me that the lives of all the +watchers who had ever held the horn in the tower there had gone to +make the spirit of the tower. "It takes a hundred lives," he said. +"None hold the horn of late and men neglect the tower. When the walls +are in ill repair the Saracens come: it was ever so." + +"The Saracens don't come nowadays," I said. + +But he was gazing past me watching, and did not seem to heed me. + +"They will run down those hills," he said, pointing away to the South, +"out of the woods about nightfall, and I shall blow my horn. The +people will all come up from the town to the tower again; but the +loopholes are in very ill repair." + +"We never hear of the Saracens now," I said. + +"Hear of the Saracens!" the old spirit said. "Hear of the Saracens! +They slip one evening out of that forest, in the long white robes that +they wear, and I blow my horn. That is the first that anyone ever +hears of the Saracens." + +"I mean," I said, "that they never come at all. They cannot come and +men fear other things." For I thought the old spirit might rest if he +knew that the Saracens can never come again. But he said, "There is +nothing in the world to fear but the Saracens. Nothing else matters. +How can men fear other things?" + +Then I explained, so that he might have rest, and told him how all +Europe, and in particular France, had terrible engines of war, both on +land and sea; and how the Saracens had not these terrible engines +either on sea or land, and so could by no means cross the +Mediterranean or escape destruction on shore even though they should +come there. I alluded to the European railways that could move armies +night and day faster than horses could gallop. And when as well as I +could I had explained all, he answered, "In time all these things pass +away and then there will still be the Saracens." + +And then I said, "There has not been a Saracen either in France +or Spain for over four hundred years." + +And he said, "The Saracens! You do not know their cunning. That was +ever the way of the Saracens. They do not come for a while, no not +they, for a long while, and then one day they come." + +And peering southwards, but not seeing clearly because of the rising +mist, he silently moved to his tower and up its broken steps. + + + + + +How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire + +In a thatched cottage of enormous size, so vast that we might consider +it a palace, but only a cottage in the style of its building, its +timbers and the nature of its interior, there lived Plash-Goo. + +Plash-Goo was of the children of the giants, whose sire was Uph. And +the lineage of Uph had dwindled in bulk for the last five hundred +years, till the giants were now no more than fifteen foot high; but +Uph ate elephants which he caught with his hands. + +Now on the tops of the mountains above the house of Plash-Goo, for +Plash-Goo lived in the plains, there dwelt the dwarf whose name was +Lrippity-Kang. And the dwarf used to walk at evening on the edge of +the tops of the mountains, and would walk up and down along it, and +was squat and ugly and hairy, and was plainly seen of Plash-Goo. + +And for many weeks the giant had suffered the sight of him, but at +length grew irked at the sight (as men are by little things), and +could not sleep of a night and lost his taste for pigs. And at last +there came the day, as anyone might have known, when Plash-Goo +shouldered his club and went up to look for the dwarf. + +And the dwarf though briefly squat was broader than may be dreamed, +beyond all breadth of man, and stronger than men may know; strength in +its very essence dwelt in that little frame, as a spark in the heart +of a flint: but to Plash-Goo he was no more than mis-shapen, bearded +and squat, a thing that dared to defy all natural laws by being more +broad than long. + +When Plash-Goo came to the mountain he cast his chimahalk down (for so +he named the club of his heart's desire) lest the dwarf should defy +him with nimbleness; and stepped towards Lrippity-Kang with gripping +hands, who stopped in his mountainous walk without a word, and swung +round his hideous breadth to confront Plash-Goo. Already then +Plash-Goo in the deeps of his mind had seen himself seize the dwarf in +one large hand and hurl him with his beard and his hated breadth sheer +down the precipice that dropped away from that very place to the land +of None's Desire. Yet it was otherwise that Fate would have it. For +the dwarf parried with his little arms the grip of those monstrous +hands, and gradually working along the enormous limbs came at length +to the giant's body where by dwarfish cunning he obtained a grip; and +turning Plash-Goo about, as a spider does some great fly, till his +little grip was suitable to his purpose, he suddenly lifted the giant +over his head. Slowly at first, by the edge of that precipice whose +base sheer distance hid, he swung his giant victim round his head, but +soon faster and faster; and at last when Plash-Goo was streaming round +the hated breadth of the dwarf and the no less hated beard was +flapping in the wind, Lrippity-Kang let go. Plash-Goo shot over the +edge and for some way further, out towards Space, like a stone; then +he began to fall. It was long before he believed and truly knew that +this was really he that fell from this mountain, for we do not +associate such dooms with ourselves; but when he had fallen for some +while through the evening and saw below him, where there had been +nothing to see, or began to see, the glimmer of tiny fields, then his +optimism departed; till later on when the fields were greener and +larger he saw that this was indeed (and growing now terribly nearer) +that very land to which he had destined the dwarf. + +At last he saw it unmistakable, close, with its grim houses and its +dreadful ways, and its green fields shining in the light of the +evening. His cloak was streaming from him in whistling shreds. + +So Plash-Goo came to the Land of None's Desire. + + + + + +The Three Sailors' Gambit + +Sitting some years ago in the ancient tavern at Over, one afternoon in +Spring, I was waiting, as was my custom, for something strange to +happen. In this I was not always disappointed for the very curious +leaded panes of that tavern, facing the sea, let a light into the +low-ceilinged room so mysterious, particularly at evening, that it +somehow seemed to affect the events within. Be that as it may, I have +seen strange things in that tavern and heard stranger things told. + +And as I sat there three sailors entered the tavern, just back, as +they said, from sea, and come with sunburned skins from a very long +voyage to the South; and one of them had a board and chessmen under +his arm, and they were complaining that they could find no one who +knew how to play chess. This was the year that the Tournament was in +England. And a little dark man at a table in a corner of the room, +drinking sugar and water, asked them why they wished to play chess; +and they said they would play any man for a pound. They opened their +box of chessmen then, a cheap and nasty set, and the man refused to +play with such uncouth pieces, and the sailors suggested that perhaps +he could find better ones; and in the end he went round to his +lodgings near by and brought his own, and then they sat down to play +for a pound a side. It was a consultation game on the part of the +sailors, they said that all three must play. + +Well, the little dark man turned out to be Stavlokratz. + +Of course he was fabulously poor, and the sovereign meant more to him +than it did to the sailors, but he didn't seem keen to play, it was +the sailors that insisted; he had made the badness of the sailors' +chessmen an excuse for not playing at all, but the sailors had +overruled that, and then he told them straight out who he was, and the +sailors had never heard of Stavlokratz. + +Well, no more was said after that. Stavlokratz said no more, either +because he did not wish to boast or because he was huffed that they +did not know who he was. And I saw no reason to enlighten the sailors +about him; if he took their pound they had brought it upon themselves, +and my boundless admiration for his genius made me feel that he +deserved whatever might come his way. He had not asked to play, they +had named the stakes, he had warned them, and gave them the first +move; there was nothing unfair about Stavlokratz. + +I had never seen Stavlokratz before, but I had played over nearly +every one of his games in the World Championship for the last three or +four years; he was always of course the model chosen by students. Only +young chess-players can appreciate my delight at seeing him play first +hand. + +Well, the sailors used to lower their heads almost as low as the table +and mutter together before every move, but they muttered so low that +you could not hear what they planned. + +They lost three pawns almost straight off, then a knight, and shortly +after a bishop; they were playing in fact the famous Three Sailors' +Gambit. + +Stavlokratz was playing with the easy confidence that they say was +usual with him, when suddenly at about the thirteenth move I saw him +look surprised; he leaned forward and looked at the board and then at +the sailors, but he learned nothing from their vacant faces; he looked +back at the board again. + +He moved more deliberately after that; the sailors lost two more +pawns, Stavlokratz had lost nothing as yet. He looked at me I thought +almost irritably, as though something would happen that he wished I +was not there to see. I believed at first that he had qualms about +taking the sailors' pound, until it dawned on me that he might lose +the game; I saw that possibility in his face, not on the board, for +the game had become almost incomprehensible to me. I cannot describe +my astonishment. And a few moves later Stavlokratz resigned. + +The sailors showed no more elation than if they had won some game with +greasy cards, playing amongst themselves. + +Stavlokratz asked them where they got their opening. "We kind of +thought of it," said one. "It just come into our heads like," said +another. He asked them questions about the ports they had touched at. +He evidently thought as I did myself that they had learned their +extraordinary gambit, perhaps in some old dependancy of Spain, from +some young master of chess whose fame had not reached Europe. He was +very eager to find out who this man could be, for neither of us +imagined that those sailors had invented it, nor would anyone who had +seen them. But he got no information from the sailors. + +Stavlokratz could very ill afford the loss of a pound. He offered to +play them again for the same stakes. The sailors began to set up the +white pieces. Stavlokratz pointed out that it was his turn for the +first move. The sailors agreed but continued to set up the white +pieces and sat with the white before them waiting for him to move. It +was a trivial incident, but it revealed to Stavlokratz and myself that +none of these sailors was aware that white always moves first. + +Stavlokratz played them on his own opening, reasoning of course that +as they had never heard of Stavlokratz they would not know of his +opening; and with probably a very good hope of getting back his pound +he played the fifth variation with its tricky seventh move, at least +so he intended, but it turned to a variation unknown to the students +of Stavlokratz. + +Throughout this game I watched the sailors closely, and I became sure, +as only an attentive watcher can be, that the one on their left, Jim +Bunion, did not even know the moves. + +When I had made up my mind about this I watched only the other two, +Adam Bailey and Bill Sloggs, trying to make out which was the master +mind; and for a long while I could not. And then I heard Adam Bailey +mutter six words, the only words I heard throughout the game, of all +their consultations, "No, him with the horse's head." And I decided +that Adam Bailey did not know what a knight was, though of course he +might have been explaining things to Bill Sloggs, but it did not sound +like that; so that left Bill Sloggs. I watched Bill Sloggs after that +with a certain wonder; he was no more intellectual than the others to +look at, though rather more forceful perhaps. Poor old Stavlokratz was +beaten again. + +Well, in the end I paid for Stavlokratz, and tried to get a game with +Bill Sloggs alone, but this he would not agree to, it must be all +three or none: and then I went back with Stavlokratz to his lodgings. +He very kindly gave me a game: of course it did not last long but I am +prouder of having been beaten by Stavlokratz than of any game that I +have ever won. And then we talked for an hour about the sailors, and +neither of us could make head or tail of them. I told him what I had +noticed about Jim Bunion and Adam Bailey, and he agreed with me that +Bill Sloggs was the man, though as to how he had come by that gambit +or that variation of Stavlokratz's own opening he had no theory. + +I had the sailors' address which was that tavern as much as anywhere, +and they were to be there all evening. As evening drew in I went back +to the tavern, and found there still the three sailors. And I offered +Bill Sloggs two pounds for a game with him alone and he refused, but +in the end he played me for a drink. And then I found that he had not +heard of the "en passant" rule, and believed that the fact of checking +the king prevented him from castling, and did not know that a player +can have two or more queens on the board at the same time if he queens +his pawns, or that a pawn could ever become a knight; and he made as +many of the stock mistakes as he had time for in a short game, which I +won. I thought that I should have got at the secret then, but his +mates who had sat scowling all the while in the corner came up and +interfered. It was a breach of their compact apparently for one to +play by himself, at any rate they seemed angry. So I left the tavern +then and came back again next day, and the next day and the day after, +and often saw the sailors, but none were in a communicative mood. I +had got Stavlokratz to keep away, and they could get no one to play +chess with at a pound a side, and I would not play with them unless +they told me the secret. + +And then one evening I found Jim Bunion drunk, yet not so drunk as he +wished, for the two pounds were spent; and I gave him very nearly a +tumbler of whiskey, or what passed for whiskey in that tavern at Over, +and he told me the secret at once. I had given the others some whiskey +to keep them quiet, and later on in the evening they must have gone +out, but Jim Bunion stayed with me by a little table leaning across it +and talking low, right into my face, his breath smelling all the while +of what passed for whiskey. + +The wind was blowing outside as it does on bad nights in November, +coming up with moans from the South, towards which the tavern faced +with all its leaded panes, so that none but I was able to hear his +voice as Jim Bunion gave up his secret. They had sailed for years, he +told me, with Bill Snyth; and on their last voyage home Bill Snyth had +died. And he was buried at sea. Just the other side of the line they +buried him, and his pals divided his kit, and these three got his +crystal that only they knew he had, which Bill got one night in Cuba. +They played chess with the crystal. + +And he was going on to tell me about that night in Cuba when Bill had +bought the crystal from the stranger, how some folks might think they +had seen thunderstorms, but let them go and listen to that one that +thundered in Cuba when Bill was buying his crystal and they'd find +that they didn't know what thunder was. But then I interrupted him, +unfortunately perhaps, for it broke the thread of his tale and set him +rambling a while, and cursing other people and talking of other lands, +China, Port Said and Spain: but I brought him back to Cuba again in +the end. I asked him how they could play chess with a crystal; and he +said that you looked at the board and looked at the crystal, and there +was the game in the crystal the same as it was on the board, with all +the odd little pieces looking just the same though smaller, horses' +heads and whatnots; and as soon as the other man moved the move came +out in the crystal, and then your move appeared after it, and all you +had to do was to make it on the board. If you didn't make the move +that you saw in the crystal things got very bad in it, everything +horribly mixed and moving about rapidly, and scowling and making the +same move over and over again, and the crystal getting cloudier and +cloudier; it was best to take one's eyes away from it then, or one +dreamt about it afterwards, and the foul little pieces came and cursed +you in your sleep and moved about all night with their crooked moves. + +I thought then that, drunk though he was, he was not telling the +truth, and I promised to show him to people who played chess all their +lives so that he and his mates could get a pound whenever they liked, +and I promised not to reveal his secret even to Stavlokratz, if only +he would tell me all the truth; and this promise I have kept till long +after the three sailors have lost their secret. I told him straight +out that I did not believe in the crystal. Well, Jim Bunion leaned +forward then, even further across the table, and swore he had seen the +man from whom Bill had bought the crystal and that he was one to whom +anything was possible. To begin with his hair was villainously dark, +and his features were unmistakable even down there in the South, and +he could play chess with his eyes shut, and even then he could beat +anyone in Cuba. But there was more than this, there was the bargain he +made with Bill that told one who he was. He sold that crystal for Bill +Snyth's soul. + +Jim Bunion leaning over the table with his breath in my face nodded +his head several times and was silent. + +I began to question him then. Did they play chess as far away as Cuba? +He said they all did. Was it conceivable that any man would make such +a bargain as Snyth made? Wasn't the trick well known? Wasn't it in +hundreds of books? And if he couldn't read books mustn't he have heard +from sailors that it is the Devil's commonest dodge to get souls from +silly people? + +Jim Bunion had leant back in his own chair quietly smiling at my +questions but when I mentioned silly people he leaned forward again, +and thrust his face close to mine and asked me several times if I +called Bill Snyth silly. It seemed that these three sailors thought a +great deal of Bill Snyth and it made Jim Bunion angry to hear anything +said against him. I hastened to say that the bargain seemed silly +though not of course the man who made it; for the sailor was almost +threatening, and no wonder for the whiskey in that dim tavern would +madden a nun. + +When I said that the bargain seemed silly he smiled again, and then he +thundered his fist down on the table and said that no one had ever yet +got the best of Bill Snyth and that that was the worst bargain for +himself that the Devil ever made, and that from all he had read or +heard of the Devil he had never been so badly had before as the night +when he met Bill Snyth at the inn in the thunderstorm in Cuba, for +Bill Snyth already had the damndest soul at sea; Bill was a good +fellow, but his soul was damned right enough, so he got the crystal +for nothing. + +Yes, he was there and saw it all himself, Bill Snyth in the Spanish +inn and the candles flaring, and the Devil walking in and out of the +rain, and then the bargain between those two old hands, and the Devil +going out into the lightning, and the thunderstorm raging on, and Bill +Snyth sitting chuckling to himself between the bursts of the thunder. + +But I had more questions to ask and interrupted this reminiscence. Why +did they all three always play together? And a look of something like +fear came over Jim Bunion's face; and at first he would not speak. And +then he said to me that it was like this; they had not paid for that +crystal, but got it as their share of Bill Snyth's kit. If they had +paid for it or given something in exchange to Bill Snyth that would +have been all right, but they couldn't do that now because Bill was +dead, and they were not sure if the old bargain might not hold good. +And Hell must be a large and lonely place, and to go there alone must +be bad, and so the three agreed that they would all stick together, +and use the crystal all three or not at all, unless one died, and then +the two would use it and the one that was gone would wait for them. +And the last of the three to go would take the crystal with him, or +maybe the crystal would bring him. They didn't think, they said, they +were the kind of men for Heaven, and he hoped they knew their place +better than that, but they didn't fancy the notion of Hell alone, if +Hell it had to be. It was all right for Bill Snyth, he was afraid of +nothing. He had known perhaps five men that were not afraid of death, +but Bill Snyth was not afraid of Hell. He died with a smile on his +face like a child in its sleep; it was drink killed poor Bill Snyth. + +This was why I had beaten Bill Sloggs; Sloggs had the crystal on him +while we played, but would not use it; these sailors seemed to fear +loneliness as some people fear being hurt; he was the only one of the +three who could play chess at all, he had learnt it in order to be +able to answer questions and keep up their pretence, but he had learnt +it badly, as I found. I never saw the crystal, they never showed it to +anyone; but Jim Bunion told me that night that it was about the size +that the thick end of a hen's egg would be if it were round. And then +he fell asleep. + +There were many more questions that I would have asked him but I could +not wake him up. I even pulled the table away so that he fell to the +floor, but he slept on, and all the tavern was dark but for one candle +burning; and it was then that I noticed for the first time that the +other two sailors had gone, no one remained at all but Jim Bunion and +I and the sinister barman of that curious inn, and he too was asleep. + +When I saw that it was impossible to wake the sailor I went out into +the night. Next day Jim Bunion would talk of it no more; and when I +went back to Stavlokratz I found him already putting on paper his +theory about the sailors, which became accepted by chess-players, that +one of them had been taught their curious gambit and that the other +two between them had learnt all the defensive openings as well as +general play. Though who taught them no one could say, in spite of +enquiries made afterwards all along the Southern Pacific. + +I never learnt any more details from any of the three sailors, they +were always too drunk to speak or else not drunk enough to be +communicative. I seem just to have taken Jim Bunion at the flood. But +I kept my promise, it was I that introduced them to the Tournament, +and a pretty mess they made of established reputations. And so they +kept on for months, never losing a game and always playing for their +pound a side. I used to follow them wherever they went merely to watch +their play. They were more marvellous than Stavlokratz even in his +youth. + +But then they took to liberties such as giving their queen when +playing first-class players. And in the end one day when all three +were drunk they played the best player in England with only a row of +pawns. They won the game all right. But the ball broke to pieces. I +never smelt such a stench in all my life. + +The three sailors took it stoically enough, they signed on to +different ships and went back again to the sea, and the world of chess +lost sight, for ever I trust, of the most remarkable players it ever +knew, who would have altogether spoiled the game. + + + + + +The Exiles Club + +It was an evening party; and something someone had said to me had +started me talking about a subject that to me is full of fascination, +the subject of old religions, forsaken gods. The truth (for all +religions have some of it), the wisdom, the beauty, of the religions +of countries to which I travel have not the same appeal for me; for +one only notices in them their tyranny and intolerance and the abject +servitude that they claim from thought; but when a dynasty has been +dethroned in heaven and goes forgotten and outcast even among men, +one's eyes no longer dazzled by its power find something very wistful +in the faces of fallen gods suppliant to be remembered, something +almost tearfully beautiful, like a long warm summer twilight fading +gently away after some day memorable in the story of earthly wars. +Between what Zeus, for instance, has been once and the half-remembered +tale he is today there lies a space so great that there is no change +of fortune known to man whereby we may measure the height down which +he has fallen. And it is the same with many another god at whom once +the ages trembled and the twentieth century treats as an old wives' +tale. The fortitude that such a fall demands is surely more than +human. + +Some such things as these I was saying, and being upon a subject that +much attracts me I possibly spoke too loudly, certainly I was not +aware that standing close behind me was no less a person than the +ex-King of Eritivaria, the thirty islands of the East, or I would have +moderated my voice and moved away a little to give him more room. I +was not aware of his presence until his satellite, one who had fallen +with him into exile but still revolved about him, told me that his +master desired to know me; and so to my surprise I was presented +though neither of them even knew my name. And that was how I came to +be invited by the ex-King to dine at his club. + +At the time I could only account for his wishing to know me by +supposing that he found in his own exiled condition some likeness to +the fallen fortunes of the gods of whom I talked unwitting of his +presence; but now I know that it was not of himself he was thinking +when he asked me to dine at that club. + +The club would have been the most imposing building in any street in +London, but in that obscure mean quarter of London in which they had +built it it appeared unduly enormous. Lifting right up above those +grotesque houses and built in that Greek style that we call Georgian, +there was something Olympian about it. To my host an unfashionable +street could have meant nothing, through all his youth wherever he had +gone had become fashionable the moment he went there; words like the +East End could have had no meaning to him. + +Whoever built that house had enormous wealth and cared nothing for +fashion, perhaps despised it. As I stood gazing at the magnificent +upper windows draped with great curtains, indistinct in the evening, +on which huge shadows flickered my host attracted my attention from +the doorway, and so I went in and met for the second time the ex-King +of Eritivaria. + +In front of us a stairway of rare marble led upwards, he took me +through a side-door and downstairs and we came to a banqueting-hall of +great magnificence. A long table ran up the middle of it, laid for +quite twenty people, and I noticed the peculiarity that instead of +chairs there were thrones for everyone except me, who was the only +guest and for whom there was an ordinary chair. My host explained to +me when we all sat down that everyone who belonged to that club was by +rights a king. + +In fact none was permitted, he told me, to belong to the club until +his claim to a kingdom made out in writing had been examined and +allowed by those whose duty it was. The whim of a populace or the +candidate's own misrule were never considered by the investigators, +nothing counted with them but heredity and lawful descent from kings, +all else was ignored. At that table there were those who had once +reigned themselves, others lawfully claimed descent from kings that +the world had forgotten, the kingdoms claimed by some had even changed +their names. Hatzgurh, the mountain kingdom, is almost regarded as +mythical. + +I have seldom seen greater splendour than that long hall provided +below the level of the street. No doubt by day it was a little sombre, +as all basements are, but at night with its great crystal chandeliers, +and the glitter of heirlooms that had gone into exile, it surpassed +the splendour of palaces that have only one king. They had come to +London suddenly most of those kings, or their fathers before them, or +forefathers; some had come away from their kingdoms by night, in a +light sleigh, flogging the horses, or had galloped clear with morning +over the border, some had trudged roads for days from their capital in +disguise, yet many had had time just as they left to snatch up some +small thing without price in markets, for the sake of old times as +they said, but quite as much, I thought, with an eye to the future. +And there these treasures glittered on that long table in the +banqueting-hall of the basement of that strange club. Merely to see +them was much, but to hear their story that their owners told was to +go back in fancy to epic times on the romantic border of fable and +fact, where the heroes of history fought with the gods of myth. The +famous silver horses of Gilgianza were there climbing their sheer +mountain, which they did by miraculous means before the time of the +Goths. It was not a large piece of silver but its workmanship +outrivalled the skill of the bees. + +A yellow Emperor had brought out of the East a piece of that +incomparable porcelain that had made his dynasty famous though all +their deeds are forgotten, it had the exact shade of the right purple. + +And there was a little golden statuette of a dragon stealing a diamond +from a lady, the dragon had the diamond in his claws, large and of the +first water. There had been a kingdom whose whole constitution and +history were founded on the legend, from which alone its kings had +claimed their right to the scepter, that a dragon stole a diamond from +a lady. When its last king left that country, because his favorite +general used a peculiar formation under the fire of artillery, he +brought with him the little ancient image that no longer proved him a +king outside that singular club. + +There was the pair of amethyst cups of the turbaned King of Foo, the +one that he drank from himself, and the one that he gave to his +enemies, eye could not tell which was which. + +All these things the ex-King of Eritivaria showed me, telling me a +marvelous tale of each; of his own he had brought nothing, except the +mascot that used once to sit on the top of the water tube of his +favorite motor. + +I have not outlined a tenth of the splendour of that table, I had +meant to come again and examine each piece of plate and make notes of +its history; had I known that this was the last time I should wish to +enter that club I should have looked at its treasures more +attentively, but now as the wine went round and the exiles began to +talk I took my eyes from the table and listened to strange tales of +their former state. + +He that has seen better times has usually a poor tale to tell, some +mean and trivial thing has been his undoing, but they that dined in +that basement had mostly fallen like oaks on nights of abnormal +tempest, had fallen mightily and shaken a nation. Those who had not +been kings themselves, but claimed through an exiled ancestor, had +stories to tell of even grander disaster, history seeming to have +mellowed their dynasty's fate as moss grows over an oak a great while +fallen. There were no jealousies there as so often there are among +kings, rivalry must have ceased with the loss of their navies and +armies, and they showed no bitterness against those that had turned +them out, one speaking of the error of his Prime Minister by which he +had lost his throne as "poor old Friedrich's Heaven-sent gift of +tactlessness." + +They gossiped pleasantly of many things, the tittle-tattle we all had +to know when we were learning history, and many a wonderful story I +might have heard, many a side light on mysterious wars had I not made +use of one unfortunate word. That word was "upstairs." + +The ex-King of Eritivaria having pointed out to me those unparalleled +heirlooms to which I have alluded, and many more besides, hospitably +asked me if there was anything else that I would care to see, he meant +the pieces of plate that they had in the cupboards, the curiously +graven swords of other princes, historic jewels, legendary seals, but +I who had had a glimpse of their marvelous staircase, whose balustrade +I believed to be solid gold and wondering why in such a stately house +they chose to dine in the basement, mentioned the word "upstairs." A +profound hush came down on the whole assembly, the hush that might +greet levity in a cathedral. + +"Upstairs!" he gasped. "We cannot go upstairs." + +I perceived that what I had said was an ill-chosen thing. I tried to +excuse myself but knew not how. + +"Of course," I muttered, "members may not take guests upstairs." + +"Members!" he said to me. "We are not the members!" + +There was such reproof in his voice that I said no more, I looked at +him questioningly, perhaps my lips moved, I may have said "What are +you?" A great surprise had come on me at their attitude. + +"We are the waiters," he said. + +That I could not have known, here at last was honest ignorance that I +had no need to be ashamed of, the very opulence of their table denied +it. + +"Then who are the members?" I asked. + +Such a hush fell at that question, such a hush of genuine awe, that +all of a sudden a wild thought entered my head, a thought strange and +fantastic and terrible. I gripped my host by the wrist and hushed my +voice. + +"Are they too exiles?" I asked. + +Twice as he looked in my face he gravely nodded his head. + +I left that club very swiftly indeed, never to see it again, scarcely +pausing to say farewell to those menial kings, and as I left the door +a great window opened far up at the top of the house and a flash of +lightning streamed from it and killed a dog. + + + + + +The Three Infernal Jokes + +This is the story that the desolate man told to me on the lonely +Highland road one autumn evening with winter coming on and the stags +roaring. + +The saddening twilight, the mountain already black, the dreadful +melancholy of the stags' voices, his friendless mournful face, all +seemed to be of some most sorrowful play staged in that valley by an +outcast god, a lonely play of which the hills were part and he the +only actor. + +For long we watched each other drawing out of the solitudes of those +forsaken spaces. Then when we met he spoke. + +"I will tell you a thing that will make you die of laughter. I will +keep it to myself no longer. But first I must tell you how I came by +it." + +I do not give the story in his words with all his woeful interjections +and the misery of his frantic self-reproaches for I would not convey +unnecessarily to my readers that atmosphere of sadness that was about +all he said and that seemed to go with him where-ever he moved. + +It seems that he had been a member of a club, a West-end club he +called it, a respectable but quite inferior affair, probably in the +City: agents belonged to it, fire insurance mostly, but life insurance +and motor-agents too, it was in fact a touts' club. It seems that a +few of them one evening, forgetting for a moment their encyclopedias +and non-stop tyres, were talking loudly over a card-table when the +game had ended about their personal virtues, and a very little man +with waxed moustaches who disliked the taste of wine was boasting +heartily of his temperance. It was then that he who told this mournful +story, drawn on by the boasts of others, leaned forward a little over +the green baize into the light of the two guttering candles and +revealed, no doubt a little shyly, his own extraordinary virtue. One +woman was to him as ugly as another. + +And the silenced boasters rose and went home to bed leaving him all +alone, as he supposed, with his unequalled virtue. And yet he was not +alone, for when the rest had gone there arose a member out of a deep +arm-chair at the dark end of the room and walked across to him, a man +whose occupation he did not know and only now suspects. + +"You have," said the stranger, "a surpassing virtue." + +"I have no possible use for it," my poor friend replied. + +"Then doubtless you would sell it cheap," said the stranger. + +Something in the man's manner or appearance made the desolate teller +of this mournful tale feel his own inferiority, which probably made +him feel acutely shy, so that his mind abased itself as an Oriental +does his body in the presence of a superior, or perhaps he was sleepy, +or merely a little drunk. Whatever it was he only mumbled, "O yes," +instead of contradicting so mad a remark. And the stranger led the way +to the room where the telephone was. + +"I think you will find my firm will give a good price for it," he +said: and without more ado he began with a pair of pincers to cut the +wire of the telephone and the receiver. The old waiter who looked +after the club they had left shuffling round the other room putting +things away for the night. + +"Whatever are you doing of?" said my friend. + +"This way," said the stranger. Along a passage they went and away to +the back of the club and there the stranger leaned out of a window and +fastened the severed wires to the lightning conductor. My friend has +no doubt of that, a broad ribbon of copper, half an inch wide, perhaps +wider, running down from the roof to the earth. + +"Hell," said the stranger with his mouth to the telephone; then +silence for a while with his ear to the receiver, leaning out of the +window. And then my friend heard his poor virtue being several times +repeated, and then words like Yes and No. + +"They offer you three jokes," said the stranger, "which shall make all +who hear them simply die of laughter." + +I think my friend was reluctant then to have anything more to do with +it, he wanted to go home; he said he didn't want jokes. + +"They think very highly of your virtue," I said the stranger. And at +that, odd as it seems, my friend wavered, for logically if they +thought highly of the goods they should have paid a higher price. + +"O all right," he said. The extraordinary document that the agent drew +from his pocket ran something like this: + +"I . . . . . in consideration of three new jokes received from Mr. +Montagu-Montague, hereinafter to be called the agent, and warranted to +be as by him stated and described, do assign to him, yield, abrogate +and give up all recognitions, emoluments, perquisites or rewards due +to me Here or Elsewhere on account of the following virtue, to wit and +that is to say . . . . . that all women are to me equally ugly." The +last eight words being filled in in ink by Mr. Montagu-Montague. + +My poor friend duly signed it. "These are the jokes," said the agent. +They were boldly written on three slips of paper. "They don't seem +very funny," said the other when he had read them. "You are immune," +said Mr. Montagu-Montague, "but anyone else who hears them will simply +die of laughter: that we guarantee." + +An American firm had bought at the price of waste paper a hundred +thousand copies of The Dictionary of Electricity written when +electricity was new,--and it had turned out that even at the time its +author had not rightly grasped his subject,--the firm had paid +£10,000 to a respectable English paper (no other in fact than +the Briton) for the use of its name, and to obtain orders for The +Briton Dictionary of Electricity was the occupation of my unfortunate +friend. He seems to have had a way with him. Apparently he knew by a +glance at a man, or a look round at his garden, whether to recommend +the book as "an absolutely up-to-date achievement, the finest thing of +its kind in the world of modern science" or as "at once quaint and +imperfect, a thing to buy and to keep as a tribute to those dear old +times that are gone." So he went on with this quaint though usual +business, putting aside the memory of that night as an occasion on +which he had "somewhat exceeded" as they say in circles where a spade +is called neither a spade nor an agricultural implement but is never +mentioned at all, being altogether too vulgar. And then one night he +put on his suit of dress clothes and found the three jokes in the +pocket. That was perhaps a shock. He seems to have thought it over +carefully then, and the end of it was he gave a dinner at the club to +twenty of the members. The dinner would do no harm he thought--might +even help the business, and if the joke came off he would be a witty +fellow, and two jokes still up his sleeve. + +Whom he invited or how the dinner went I do not know for he began to +speak rapidly and came straight to the point, as a stick that nears a +cataract suddenly goes faster and faster. The dinner was duly served, +the port went round, the twenty men were smoking, two waiters +loitered, when he after carefully reading the best of the jokes told +it down the table. They laughed. One man accidentally inhaled his +cigar smoke and spluttered, the two waiters overheard and tittered +behind their hands, one man, a bit of a raconteur himself, quite +clearly wished not to laugh, but his veins swelled dangerously in +trying to keep it back, and in the end he laughed too. The joke had +succeeded; my friend smiled at the thought; he wished to say little +deprecating things to the man on his right; but the laughter did not +stop and the waiters would not be silent. He waited, and waited +wondering; the laughter went roaring on, distinctly louder now, and +the waiters as loud as any. It had gone on for three or four minutes +when this frightful thought leaped up all at once in his mind: _it was +forced laughter!_ However could anything have induced him to tell so +foolish a joke? He saw its absurdity as in revelation; and the more he +thought of it as these people laughed at him, even the waiters too, +the more he felt that he could never lift up his head with his brother +touts again. And still the laughter went roaring and choking on. He +was very angry. There was not much use in having a friend, he thought, +if one silly joke could not be overlooked; he had fed them too. And +then he felt that he had no friends at all, and his anger faded away, +and a great unhappiness came down on him, and he got quietly up and +slunk from the room and slipped away from the club. Poor man, he +scarcely had the heart next morning even to glance at the papers, but +you did not need to glance at them, big type was bandied about that +day as though it were common type, the words of the headlines stared +at you; and the headlines said:--Twenty-Two Dead Men at a Club. + +Yes, he saw it then: the laughter had not stopped, some had probably +burst blood vessels, some must have choked, some succumbed to nausea, +heart-failure must have mercifully taken some, and they were his +friends after all, and none had escaped, not I even the waiters. It +was that infernal joke. + +He thought out swiftly, and remembers clear as a nightmare, the drive +to Victoria Station, the boat-train to Dover and going disguised to +the boat: and on the boat pleasantly smiling, almost obsequious, two +constables that wished to speak for a moment with Mr. Watkyn-Jones. +That was his name. + +In a third-class carriage with handcuffs on his wrists, with forced +conversation when any, he returned between his captors to Victoria to +be tried for murder at the High Court of Bow. + +At the trial he was defended by a young barrister of considerable +ability who had gone into the Cabinet in order to enhance his forensic +reputation. And he was ably defended. It is no exaggeration to say +that the speech for the defence showed it to be usual, even natural +and right, to give a dinner to twenty men and to slip away without +ever saying a word, leaving all, with the waiters, dead. That was the +impression left in the minds of the jury. And Mr. Watkyn-Jones felt +himself practically free, with all the advantages of his awful +experience, and his two jokes intact. But lawyers are still +experimenting with the new act which allows a prisoner to give +evidence. They do not like to make no use of it for fear they may be +thought not to know of the act, and a lawyer who is not in touch with +the very latest laws is soon regarded as not being up to date and he +may drop as much as £50,000 a year in fees. And therefore though +it always hangs their clients they hardly like to neglect it. + +Mr. Watkyn-Jones was put in the witness box. There he told the simple +truth, and a very poor affair it seemed after the impassioned and +beautiful things that were uttered by the counsel for the defence. Men +and women had wept when they heard that. They did not weep when they +heard Watkyn-Jones. Some tittered. It no longer seemed a right and +natural thing to leave one's guests all dead and to fly the country. +Where was Justice, they asked, if anyone could do that? And when his +story was told the judge rather happily asked if he could make him die +of laughter too. And what was the joke? For in so grave a place as a +Court of Justice no fatal effects need be feared. And hesitatingly the +prisoner pulled from his pocket the three slips of paper: and +perceived for the first time that the one on which the first and best +joke had been written had become quite blank. Yet he could remember +it, and only too clearly. And he told it from memory to the Court. + +"An Irishman once on being asked by his master to buy a morning paper +said in his usual witty way, 'Arrah and begorrah and I will be after +wishing you the top of the morning.'" + +No joke sounds quite so good the second time it is told, it seems to +lose something of its essence, but Watkyn-Jones was not prepared for +the awful stillness with which this one was received; nobody smiled; +and it had killed twenty-two men. The joke was bad, devilish bad; +counsel for the defence was frowning, and an usher was looking in a +little bag for something the judge wanted. And at this moment, as +though from far away, without his wishing it, there entered the +prisoner's head, and shone there and would not go, this old bad +proverb: "As well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb." The jury seemed +to be just about to retire. "I have another joke," said Watkyn-Jones, +and then and there he read from the second slip of paper. He watched +the paper curiously to see if it would go blank, occupying his mind +with so slight a thing as men in dire distress very often do, and the +words were almost immediately expunged, swept swiftly as if by a hand, +and he saw the paper before him as blank as the first. And they were +laughing this time, judge, jury, counsel for the prosecution, audience +and all, and the grim men that watched him upon either side. There was +no mistake about this joke. + +He did not stay to see the end, and walked out with his eyes fixed on +the ground, unable to bear a glance to the right or left. And since +then he has wandered, avoiding ports and roaming lonely places. Two +years have known him on the Highland roads, often hungry, always +friendless, always changing his district, wandering lonely on with his +deadly joke. + +Sometimes for a moment he will enter inns, driven by cold and hunger, +and hear men in the evening telling jokes and even challenging him; +but he sits desolate and silent, lest his only weapon should escape +from him and his last joke spread mourning in a hundred cots. His +beard has grown and turned grey and is mixed with moss and weeds, so +that no one, I think, not even the police, would recognise him now for +that dapper tout that sold The Briton Dictionary of Electricity in +such a different land. + +He paused, his story told, and then his lip quivered as though he +would say more, and I believe he intended then and there to yield up +his deadly joke on that Highland road and to go forth then with his +three blank slips of paper, perhaps to a felon's cell, with one more +murder added to his crimes, but harmless at last to man. I therefore +hurried on, and only heard him mumbling sadly behind me, standing +bowed and broken, all alone in the twilight, perhaps telling over and +over even then the last infernal joke. + + + THE END + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Tales of Wonder, by +Baron Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett Dunsany + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF WONDER *** + +***** This file should be named 13821-8.txt or 13821-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/8/2/13821/ + +Produced by Tom Harris. HTML version by Al Haines. + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Tales of Wonder + +Author: Baron Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett Dunsany + +Posting Date: December 12, 2010 [EBook #13821] +Release Date: October 21, 2004 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF WONDER *** + + + + +Produced by Tom Harris. HTML version by Al Haines. + + + + + +</pre> + + +<BR><BR> + +<H1 ALIGN="center"> +TALES OF WONDER +</H1> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +by Lord Dunsany +</H3> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<P CLASS="noindent"> + <A HREF="#london">A Tale of London</A><BR> + <A HREF="#thirteen">Thirteen at Table</A><BR> + <A HREF="#moor">The City on Mallington Moor</A><BR> + <A HREF="#milkman">Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn</A><BR> + <A HREF="#woman">The Bad Old Woman in Black</A><BR> + <A HREF="#bird">The Bird of the Difficult Eye</A><BR> + <A HREF="#porter">The Long Porter's Tale</A><BR> + <A HREF="#loma">The Loot of Loma</A><BR> + <A HREF="#secret">The Secret of the Sea</A><BR> + <A HREF="#black">How Ali Came to the Black Country</A><BR> + <A HREF="#bureau">The Bureau d'Echange de Maux</A><BR> + <A HREF="#story">A Story of Land and Sea</A><BR> +<BR> + <A HREF="#guarantee">Guarantee To The Reader</A><BR> +<BR> + <A HREF="#equator">A Tale of the Equator</A><BR> + <A HREF="#escape">A Narrow Escape</A><BR> + <A HREF="#tower">The Watch-tower</A><BR> + <A HREF="#plash">How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire</A><BR> + <A HREF="#gambit">The Three Sailors' Gambit</A><BR> + <A HREF="#exiles">The Exiles Club</A><BR> + <A HREF="#jokes">The Three Infernal Jokes</A><BR> +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +Preface +</H3> + +<P CLASS="noindent"> + Ebrington Barracks<BR> +<BR> + Aug. 16th 1916.<BR> +</P> + +<P> +I do not know where I may be when this preface is read. As I write it +in August 1916, I am at Ebrington Barracks, Londonderry, recovering +from a slight wound. But it does not greatly matter where I am; my +dreams are here before you amongst the following pages; and writing in +a day when life is cheap, dreams seem to me all the dearer, the only +things that survive. +</P> + +<P> +Just now the civilization of Europe seems almost to have ceased, and +nothing seems to grow in her torn fields but death, yet this is only +for a while and dreams will come back again and bloom as of old, all +the more radiantly for this terrible ploughing, as the flowers will +bloom again where the trenches are and the primroses shelter in +shell-holes for many seasons, when weeping Liberty has come home to +Flanders. +</P> + +<P> +To some of you in America this may seem an unnecessary and wasteful +quarrel, as other people's quarrels often are; but it comes to this +that though we are all killed there will be songs again, but if we +were to submit and so survive there could be neither songs nor dreams, +nor any joyous free things any more. +</P> + +<P> +And do not regret the lives that are wasted amongst us, or the work +that the dead would have done, for war is no accident that man's care +could have averted, but is as natural, though not as regular, as the +tides; as well regret the things that the tide has washed away, which +destroys and cleanses and crumbles, and spares the minutest shells. +</P> + +<P> +And now I will write nothing further about our war, but offer you +these books of dreams from Europe as one throws things of value, if +only to oneself, at the last moment out of a burning house. +</P> + +<P CLASS="noindent"> + DUNSANY.<BR> +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="london"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A Tale of London +</H3> + +<P> +"Come," said the Sultan to his hasheesh-eater in the very furthest +lands that know Bagdad, "dream to me now of London." +</P> + +<P> +And the hasheesh-eater made a low obeisance and seated himself +cross-legged upon a purple cushion broidered with golden poppies, on +the floor, beside an ivory bowl where the hasheesh was, and having +eaten liberally of the hasheesh blinked seven times and spoke thus: +</P> + +<P> +"O Friend of God, know then that London is the desiderate town even of +all Earth's cities. Its houses are of ebony and cedar which they roof +with thin copper plates that the hand of Time turns green. They have +golden balconies in which amethysts are where they sit and watch the +sunset. Musicians in the gloaming steal softly along the ways; unheard +their feet fall on the white sea-sand with which those ways are +strewn, and in the darkness suddenly they play on dulcimers and +instruments with strings. Then are there murmurs in the balconies +praising their skill, then are there bracelets cast down to them for +reward and golden necklaces and even pearls. +</P> + +<P> +"Indeed but the city is fair; there is by the sandy ways a paving all +alabaster, and the lanterns along it are of chrysoprase, all night +long they shine green, but of amethyst are the lanterns of the +balconies. +</P> + +<P> +"As the musicians go along the ways dancers gather about them and +dance upon the alabaster pavings, for joy and not for hire. Sometimes +a window opens far up in an ebony palace and a wreath is cast down to +a dancer or orchids showered upon them. +</P> + +<P> +"Indeed of many cities have I dreamt but of none fairer, through many +marble metropolitan gates hasheesh has led me, but London is its +secret, the last gate of all; the ivory bowl has nothing more to show. +And indeed even now the imps that crawl behind me and that will not +let me be are plucking me by the elbow and bidding my spirit return, +for well they know that I have seen too much. 'No, not London,' they +say; and therefore I will speak of some other city, a city of some +less mysterious land, and anger not the imps with forbidden things. I +will speak of Persepolis or famous Thebes." +</P> + +<P> +A shade of annoyance crossed the Sultan's face, a look of thunder that +you had scarcely seen, but in those lands they watched his visage +well, and though his spirit was wandering far away and his eyes were +bleared with hasheesh yet that storyteller there and then perceived +the look that was death, and sent his spirit back at once to London as +a man runs into his house when the thunder comes. +</P> + +<P> +"And therefore," he continued, "in the desiderate city, in London, all +their camels are pure white. Remarkable is the swiftness of their +horses, that draw their chariots that are of ivory along those sandy +ways and that are of surpassing lightness, they have little bells of +silver upon their horses' heads. O Friend of God, if you perceived +their merchants! The glory of their dresses in the noonday! They are +no less gorgeous than those butterflies that float about their +streets. They have overcloaks of green and vestments of azure, huge +purple flowers blaze on their overcloaks, the work of cunning needles, +the centres of the flowers are of gold and the petals of purple. All +their hats are black—" ("No, no," said the Sultan)—"but irises are +set about the brims, and green plumes float above the crowns of them. +</P> + +<P> +"They have a river that is named the Thames, on it their ships go up +with violet sails bringing incense for the braziers that perfume the +streets, new songs exchanged for gold with alien tribes, raw silver +for the statues of their heroes, gold to make balconies where the +women sit, great sapphires to reward their poets with, the secrets of +old cities and strange lands, the earning of the dwellers in far +isles, emeralds, diamonds, and the hoards of the sea. And whenever a +ship comes into port and furls its violet sails and the news spreads +through London that she has come, then all the merchants go down to +the river to barter, and all day long the chariots whirl through the +streets, and the sound of their going is a mighty roar all day until +evening, their roar is even like—" +</P> + +<P> +"Not so," said the Sultan. +</P> + +<P> +"Truth is not hidden from the Friend of God," replied the +hasheesh-eater, "I have erred being drunken with the hasheesh, for in +the desiderate city, even in London, so thick upon the ways is the +white sea-sand with which the city glimmers that no sound comes from +the path of the charioteers, but they go softly like a light +sea-wind." ("It is well," said the Sultan.) "They go softly down to +the port where the vessels are, and the merchandise in from the sea, +amongst the wonders that the sailors show, on land by the high ships, +and softly they go though swiftly at evening back to their homes. +</P> + +<P> +"O would that the Munificent, the Illustrious, the Friend of God, had +even seen these things, had seen the jewellers with their empty +baskets, bargaining there by the ships, when the barrels of emeralds +came up from the hold. Or would that he had seen the fountains there +in silver basins in the midst of the ways. I have seen small spires +upon their ebony houses and the spires were all of gold, birds +strutted there upon the copper roofs from golden spire to spire that +have no equal for splendour in all the woods of the world. And over +London the desiderate city the sky is so deep a blue that by this +alone the traveller may know where he has come, and may end his +fortunate journey. Nor yet for any colour of the sky is there too +great heat in London, for along its ways a wind blows always from the +South gently and cools the city. +</P> + +<P> +"Such, O Friend of God, is indeed the city of London, lying very far +off on the yonder side of Bagdad, without a peer for beauty or +excellence of its ways among the towns of the earth or cities of song; +and even so, as I have told, its fortunate citizens dwell, with their +hearts ever devising beautiful things and from the beauty of their own +fair work that is more abundant around them every year, receiving new +inspirations to work things more beautiful yet." +</P> + +<P> +"And is their government good?" the Sultan said. +</P> + +<P> +"It is most good," said the hasheesh-eater, and fell backwards upon +the floor. +</P> + +<P> +He lay thus and was silent. And when the Sultan perceived he would +speak no more that night he smiled and lightly applauded. +</P> + +<P> +And there was envy in that palace, in lands beyond Bagdad, of all that +dwell in London. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="thirteen"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +Thirteen at Table +</H3> + +<P> +In front of a spacious fireplace of the old kind, when the logs were +well alight, and men with pipes and glasses were gathered before it in +great easeful chairs, and the wild weather outside and the comfort +that was within, and the season of the year—for it was Christmas—and +the hour of the night, all called for the weird or uncanny, then out +spoke the ex-master of foxhounds and told this tale. +</P> + +<P> +I once had an odd experience too. It was when I had the Bromley and +Sydenham, the year I gave them up—as a matter of fact it was the last +day of the season. It was no use going on because there were no foxes +left in the county, and London was sweeping down on us. You could see +it from the kennels all along the skyline like a terrible army in +grey, and masses of villas every year came skirmishing down our +valleys. Our coverts were mostly on the hills, and as the town came +down upon the valleys the foxes used to leave them and go right away +out of the county and they never returned. I think they went by night +and moved great distances. Well it was early April and we had drawn +blank all day, and at the last draw of all, the very last of the +season, we found a fox. He left the covert with his back to London and +its railways and villas and wire and slipped away towards the chalk +country and open Kent. I felt as I once felt as a child on one +summer's day when I found a door in a garden where I played left +luckily ajar, and I pushed it open and the wide lands were before me +and waving fields of corn. +</P> + +<P> +We settled down into a steady gallop and the fields began to drift by +under us, and a great wind arose full of fresh breath. We left the +clay lands where the bracken grows and came to a valley at the edge of +the chalk. As we went down into it we saw the fox go up the other side +like a shadow that crosses the evening, and glide into a wood that +stood on the top. We saw a flash of primroses in the wood and we were +out the other side, hounds hunting perfectly and the fox still going +absolutely straight. It began to dawn on me then that we were in for a +great hunt, I took a deep breath when I thought of it; the taste of +the air of that perfect Spring afternoon as it came to one galloping, +and the thought of a great run, were together like some old rare wine. +Our faces now were to another valley, large fields led down to it, +with easy hedges, at the bottom of it a bright blue stream went +singing and a rambling village smoked, the sunlight on the opposite +slopes danced like a fairy; and all along the top old woods were +frowning, but they dreamed of Spring. The "field" had fallen of and +were far behind and my only human companion was James, my old first +whip, who had a hound's instinct, and a personal animosity against a +fox that even embittered his speech. +</P> + +<P> +Across the valley the fox went as straight as a railway line, and +again we went without a check straight through the woods at the top. I +remember hearing men sing or shout as they walked home from work, and +sometimes children whistled; the sounds came up from the village to +the woods at the top of the valley. After that we saw no more +villages, but valley after valley arose and fell before us as though +we were voyaging some strange and stormy sea, and all the way before +us the fox went dead up-wind like the fabulous Flying Dutchman. There +was no one in sight now but my first whip and me, we had both of us +got on to our second horses as we drew the last covert. +</P> + +<P> +Two or three times we checked in those great lonely valleys beyond the +village, but I began to have inspirations, I felt a strange certainty +within me that this fox was going on straight up-wind till he died or +until night came and we could hunt no longer, so I reversed ordinary +methods and only cast straight ahead and always we picked up the scent +again at once. I believe that this fox was the last one left in the +villa-haunted lands and that he was prepared to leave them for remote +uplands far from men, that if we had come the following day he would +not have been there, and that we just happened to hit off his journey. +</P> + +<P> +Evening began to descend upon the valleys, still the hounds drifted +on, like the lazy but unresting shadows of clouds upon a summer's day, +we heard a shepherd calling to his dog, we saw two maidens move +towards a hidden farm, one of them singing softly; no other sounds, +but ours, disturbed the leisure and the loneliness of haunts that +seemed not yet to have known the inventions of steam and gun-powder +(even as China, they say, in some of her further mountains does not +yet know that she has fought Japan). +</P> + +<P> +And now the day and our horses were wearing out, but that resolute fox +held on. I began to work out the run and to wonder where we were. The +last landmark I had ever seen before must have been over five miles +back and from there to the start was at least ten miles more. If only +we could kill! Then the sun set. I wondered what chance we had of +killing our fox. I looked at James' face as he rode beside me. He did +not seem to have lost any confidence yet his horse was as tired as +mine. It was a good clear twilight and the scent was as strong as +ever, and the fences were easy enough, but those valleys were terribly +trying and they still rolled on and on. It looked as if the light +would outlast all possible endurance both of the fox and the horses, +if the scent held good and he did not go to ground, otherwise night +would end it. For long we had seen no houses and no roads, only chalk +slopes with the twilight on them, and here and there some sheep, and +scattered copses darkening in the evening. At some moment I seemed to +realise all at once that the light was spent and that darkness was +hovering, I looked at James, he was solemnly shaking his head. +Suddenly in a little wooded valley we saw climb over the oaks the +red-brown gables of a queer old house, at that instant I saw the fox +scarcely heading by fifty yards. We blundered through a wood into full +sight of the house, but no avenue led up to it or even a path nor were +there any signs of wheel-marks anywhere. Already lights shone here and +there in windows. We were in a park, and a fine park, but unkempt +beyond credibility; brambles grew everywhere. It was too dark to see +the fox any more but we knew he was dead beat, the hounds were just +before us,—and a four-foot railing of oak. I shouldn't have tried it +on a fresh horse the beginning of a run, and here was a horse near his +last gasp. But what a run! an event standing out in a lifetime, and +the hounds close up on their fox, slipping into the darkness as I +hesitated. I decided to try it. My horse rose about eight inches and +took it fair with his breast, and the oak log flew into handfuls of +wet decay—it rotten with years. And then we were on a lawn and at the +far end of it the hounds were tumbling over their fox. Fox, hounds and +light were all done together at the of a twenty-mile point. We made +some noise then, but nobody came out of the queer old house. +</P> + +<P> +I felt pretty stiff as I walked round to the hall door with the mask +and the brush while James went with the hounds and the two horses to +look for the stables. I rang a bell marvellously encrusted with rust, +and after a long while the door opened a little way revealing a hall +with much old armour in it and the shabbiest butler that I have ever +known. +</P> + +<P> +I asked him who lived there. Sir Richard Arlen. I explained that my +horse could go no further that night and that I wished to ask Sir +Richard Arlen for a bed for the night. +</P> + +<P> +"O, no one ever comes here, sir," said the butler. +</P> + +<P> +I pointed out that I had come. +</P> + +<P> +"I don't think it would be possible, sir," he said. +</P> + +<P> +This annoyed me and I asked to see Sir Richard, and insisted until he +came. Then I apologised and explained the situation. He looked only +fifty, but a 'Varsity oar on the wall with the date of the early +seventies, made him older than that; his face had something of the shy +look of the hermit; he regretted that he had not room to put me up. I +was sure that this was untrue, also I had to be put up there, there +was nowhere else within miles, so I almost insisted. Then to my +astonishment he turned to the butler and they talked it over in an +undertone. At last they seemed to think that they could manage it, +though clearly with reluctance. It was by now seven o' clock and Sir +Richard told me he dined at half past seven. There was no question of +clothes for me other than those I stood in, as my host was shorter and +broader. He showed me presently to the drawing-room and there he +reappeared before half past seven in evening dress and a white +waistcoat. The drawing-room was large and contained old furniture but +it was rather worn than venerable, an Aubusson carpet flapped about +the floor, the wind seemed momently to enter the room, and old +draughts haunted corners; the stealthy feet of rats that were never at +rest indicated the extent of the ruin that time had wrought in the +wainscot; somewhere far off a shutter flapped to and fro, the +guttering candles were insufficient to light so large a room. The +gloom that these things suggested was quite in keeping with Sir +Richard's first remark to me after he entered the room: "I must tell +you, sir, that I have led a wicked life. O, a very wicked life." +</P> + +<P> +Such confidences from a man much older than oneself after one has +known him for half an hour are so rare that any possible answer merely +does not suggest itself. I said rather slowly, "O, really," and +chiefly to forestall another such remark I said "What a charming house +you have." +</P> + +<P> +"Yes," he said, "I have not left it for nearly forty years. Since I +left the 'Varsity. One is young there, you know, and one has +opportunities; but I make no excuses, no excuses." And the door +slipping its rusty latch, came drifting on the draught into the room, +and the long carpet flapped and the hangings upon the walls, then the +draught fell rustling away and the door slammed to again. +</P> + +<P> +"Ah, Marianne," he said, "we have a guest to-night. Mr. Linton. This +is Marianne Gib." And everything became clear to me. "Mad," I said to +myself, for no one had entered the room. +</P> + +<P> +The rats ran up the length of the room behind the wainscot +ceaselessly, and the wind unlatched the door again and the folds of +the carpet fluttered up to our feet and stopped there, for our weight +held it down. +</P> + +<P> +"Let me introduce Mr. Linton," said my host—"Lady Mary Errinjer." +</P> + +<P> +The door slammed back again. I bowed politely. Even had I been invited +I should have humoured him, but it was the very least that an +uninvited guest could do. +</P> + +<P> +This kind of thing happened eleven times, the rustling, and the +fluttering of the carpet and the footsteps of the rats, and the +restless door, and then the sad voice of my host introducing me to +phantoms. Then for some while we waited while I struggled with the +situation; conversation flowed slowly. And again the draught came +trailing up the room, while the flaring candles filled it with +hurrying shadows. "Ah, late again, Cicely," said my host in his soft, +mournful way. "Always late, Cicely." Then I went down to dinner with +that man and his mind and the twelve phantoms that haunted it. I found +a long table with fine old silver on it and places laid for fourteen. +The butler was now in evening dress, there were fewer draughts in the +dining-room, the scene was less gloomy there. "Will you sit next to +Rosalind at the other end," Richard said to me. "She always takes the +head of the table, I wronged her most of all." I said, "I shall be +delighted." +</P> + +<P> +I looked at the butler closely, but never did I see by any expression +of his face or by anything that he did any suggestion that he waited +upon less than fourteen people in the complete possession of all their +faculties. Perhaps a dish appeared to be refused more often than taken +but every glass was equally filled with champagne. At first I found +little to say, but when Sir Richard speaking from the far end of the +table said, "You are tired, Mr. Linton," I was reminded that I owed +something to a host upon whom I had forced myself. It was excellent +champagne and with the help of a second glass I made the effort to +begin a conversation with a Miss Helen Errold for whom the place upon +one side of me was laid. It came more easy to me very soon, I +frequently paused in my monologue, like Mark Anthony, for a reply, and +sometimes I turned and spoke to Miss Rosalind Smith. Sir Richard at +the other end talked sorrowfully on, he spoke as a condemned man might +speak to his judge, and yet somewhat as a judge might speak to one +that he once condemned wrongly. My own mind began to turn to mournful +things. I drank another glass of champagne, but I was still thirsty. I +felt as if all the moisture in my body had been blown away over the +downs of Kent by the wind up which we had galloped. Still I was not +talking enough; my host was looking at me. I made another effort, +after all I had something to talk about, a twenty-mile point is not +often seen in a lifetime, especially south of the Thames. I began to +describe the run to Rosalind Smith. I could see then that my host was +pleased, the sad look in his face gave a kind of a flicker, like mist +upon the mountains on a miserable day when a faint puff comes from the +sea and the mist would lift if it could. And the butler refilled my +glass very attentively. I asked her first if she hunted, and paused +and began my story. I told her where we had found the fox and how fast +and straight he had gone, and how I had got through the village by +keeping to the road, while the little gardens and wire, and then the +river, had stopped the rest of the field. I told her the kind of +country that we crossed and how splendid it looked in the Spring, and +how mysterious the valleys were as soon as the twilight came, and what +a glorious horse I had and how wonderfully he went. I was so fearfully +thirsty after the great hunt that I had to stop for a moment now and +then, but I went on with my description of that famous run, for I had +warmed to the subject, and after all there was nobody to tell of it +but me except my old whipper-in, and "the old fellow's probably drunk +by now," I thought. I described to her minutely the exact spot in the +run at which it had come to me clearly that this was going to be the +greatest hunt in the whole history of Kent. Sometimes I forgot +incidents that had happened as one well may in a run of twenty miles, +and then I had to fill in the gaps by inventing. I was pleased to be +able to make the party go off well by means of my conversation, and +besides that the lady to whom I was speaking was extremely pretty: I +do not mean in a flesh and blood kind of way but there were little +shadowy lines about the chair beside me that hinted at an unusually +graceful figure when Miss Rosalind Smith was alive; and I began to +perceive that what I first mistook for the smoke of guttering candles +and a table-cloth waving in the draught was in reality an extremely +animated company who listened, and not without interest, to my story +of by far the greatest hunt that the world had ever known: indeed I +told them that I would confidently go further and predict that never +in the history of the world would there be such a run again. Only my +throat was terribly dry. And then as it seemed they wanted to hear +more about my horse. I had forgotten that I had come there on a horse, +but when they reminded me it all came back; they looked so charming +leaning over the table intent upon what I said, that I told them +everything they wanted to know. Everything was going so pleasantly if +only Sir Richard would cheer up. I heard his mournful voice every now +and then—these were very pleasant people if only he would take them +the right way. I could understand that he regretted his past, but the +early seventies seemed centuries away and I felt sure that he +misunderstood these ladies, they were not revengeful as he seemed to +suppose. I wanted to show him how cheerful they really were, and so I +made a joke and they an laughed at it, and then I chaffed them a bit, +especially Rosalind, and nobody resented it in the very least. And +still Sir Richard sat there with that unhappy look, like one that has +ended weeping because it is vain and has not the consolation even of +tears. +</P> + +<P> +We had been a long time there and many of the candles had burned out, +but there was light enough. I was glad to have an audience for my +exploit, and being happy myself I was determined Sir Richard should +be. I made more jokes and they still laughed good-naturedly; some of +the jokes were a little broad perhaps but no harm was meant. And +then—I do not wish to excuse myself—but I had had a harder day than +I ever had had before and without knowing it I must have been +completely exhausted; in this state the champagne had found me, and +what would have been harmless at any other time must somehow have got +the better of me when quite tired out—anyhow I went too far, I made +some joke—I cannot in the least remember what—that suddenly seemed +to offend them. I felt all at once a commotion in the air, I looked up +and saw that they had all arisen from the table and were sweeping +towards the door: I had not time to open it but it blew open on a +wind, I could scarcely see what Sir Richard was doing because only two +candles were left, I think the rest blew out when the ladies suddenly +rose. I sprang up to apologise, to assure them—and then fatigue +overcame me as it had overcome my horse at the last fence, I clutched +at the table but the cloth came away and then I fell. The fall, and +the darkness on the floor and the pent up fatigue of the day overcame +me all three together. +</P> + +<P> +The sun shone over glittering fields and in at a bedroom window and +thousands of birds were chanting to the Spring, and there I was in an +old four-poster bed in a quaint old panelled bedroom, fully dressed +and wearing long muddy boots; someone had taken my spurs and that was +all. For a moment I failed to realise and then it all came back, my +enormity and the pressing need of an abject apology to Sir Richard. I +pulled an embroidered bell rope until the butler came. He came in +perfectly cheerful and indescribably shabby. I asked him if Sir +Richard was up, and he said he had just gone down, and told me to my +amazement that it was twelve o'clock. I asked to be shown in to Sir +Richard at once. He was in his smoking-room. "Good morning," he said +cheerfully the moment I went in. I went directly to the matter in +hand. "I fear that I insulted some ladies in your house—" I began. +</P> + +<P> +"You did indeed," he said, "You did indeed." And then he burst into +tears and took me by the hand. "How can I ever thank you?" he said to +me then. "We have been thirteen at table for thirty years and I never +dared to insult them because I had wronged them all, and now you have +done it and I know they will never dine here again." And for a long +time he still held my hand, and then he gave it a grip and a kind of a +shake which I took to mean "Goodbye" and I drew my hand away then and +left the house. And I found James in the stables with the hounds and +asked him how he had fared, and James, who is a man of very few words, +said he could not rightly remember, and I got my spurs from the butler +and climbed on to my horse and slowly we rode away from that queer old +house, and slowly we wended home, for the hounds were footsore but +happy and the horses were tired still. And when we recalled that the +hunting season was ended we turned our faces to Spring and thought of +the new things that try to replace the old. And that very year I +heard, and have often heard since, of dances and happier dinners at +Sir Richard Arlen's house. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="moor"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The City on Mallington Moor +</H3> + +<P> +Besides the old shepherd at Lingwold whose habits render him +unreliable I am probably the only person that has ever seen the city +on Mallington Moor. +</P> + +<P> +I had decided one year to do no London season; partly because of the +ugliness of the things in the shops, partly because of the unresisted +invasions of German bands, partly perhaps because some pet parrots in +the oblong where I lived had learned to imitate cab-whistles; but +chiefly because of late there had seized me in London a quite +unreasonable longing for large woods and waste spaces, while the very +thought of little valleys underneath copses full of bracken and +foxgloves was a torment to me and every summer in London the longing +grew worse till the thing was becoming intolerable. So I took a stick +and a knapsack and began walking northwards, starting at Tetherington +and sleeping at inns, where one could get real salt, and the waiter +spoke English and where one had a name instead of a number; and though +the tablecloth might be dirty the windows opened so that the air was +clean, where one had the excellent company of farmers and men of the +wold, who could not be thoroughly vulgar, because they had not the +money to be so even if they had wished it. At first the novelty was +delightful, and then one day in a queer old inn up Uthering way, +beyond Lingwold, I heard for the first time the rumour of the city +said to be on Mallington Moor. They spoke of it quite casually over +their glasses of beer, two farmers at the inn. "They say the queer +folk be at Mallington with their city," one farmer said. "Travelling +they seem to be," said the other. And more came in then and the rumour +spread. And then, such are the contradictions of our little likes and +dislikes and all the whims that drive us, that I, who had come so far +to avoid cities, had a great longing all of a sudden for throngs again +and the great hives of Man, and then and there determined on that +bright Sunday morning to come to Mallington and there search for the +city that rumour spoke of so strangely. +</P> + +<P> +Mallington Moor, from all that they said of it, was hardly a likely +place to find a thing by searching. It was a huge high moor, very +bleak and desolate and altogether trackless. It seemed a lonely place +from what they said. The Normans when they came had called it Mal Lieu +and afterwards Mallintown and so it changed to Mallington. Though what +a town can ever have had to do with a place so utterly desolate I do +not know. And before that some say that the Saxons called it Baplas, +which I believe to be a corruption of Bad Place. +</P> + +<P> +And beyond the mere rumour of a beautiful city all of white marble and +with a foreign look up on Mallington Moor, beyond this I could not +get. None of them had seen it himself, "only heard of it like," and my +questions, rather than stimulating conversation, would always stop it +abruptly. I was no more fortunate on the road to Mallington until the +Tuesday, when I was quite near it; I had been walking two days from +the inn where I had heard the rumour and could see the great hill +steep as a headland on which Mallington lay, standing up on the +skyline: the hill was covered with grass, where anything grew at all, +but Mallington Moor is all heather; it is just marked Moor on the map; +nobody goes there and they do not trouble to name it. It was there +where the gaunt hill first came into sight, by the roadside as I +enquired for the marble city of some labourers by the way, that I was +directed, partly I think in derision, to the old shepherd of Lingwold. +It appeared that he, following sometimes sheep that had strayed, and +wandering far from Lingwold, came sometimes up to the edge of +Mallington Moor, and that he would come back from these excursions and +shout through the villages, raving of a city of white marble and +gold-tipped minarets. And hearing me asking questions of this city +they had laughed and directed me to the shepherd of Lingwold. One +well-meant warning they gave me as I went—the old man was not +reliable. +</P> + +<P> +And late that evening I saw the thatches of Lingwold sheltering under +the edge of that huge hill that Atlas-like held up those miles of moor +to the great winds and heaven. +</P> + +<P> +They knew less of the city in Lingwold than elsewhere but they knew +the whereabouts of the man I wanted, though they seemed a little +ashamed of him. There was an inn in Lingwold that gave me shelter, +whence in the morning, equipped with purchases, I set out to find +their shepherd. And there he was on the edge of Mallington Moor +standing motionless, gazing stupidly at his sheep; his hands trembled +continually and his eyes had a blear look, but he was quite sober, +wherein all Lingwold had wronged him. +</P> + +<P> +And then and there I asked him of the city and he said he had never +heard tell of any such place. And I said, "Come, come, you must pull +yourself together." And he looked angrily at me; but when he saw me +draw from amongst my purchases a full bottle of whiskey and a big +glass he became more friendly. As I poured out the whiskey I asked him +again about the marble city on Mallington Moor but he seemed quite +honestly to know nothing about it. The amount of whiskey he drank was +quite incredible, but I seldom express surprise and once more I asked +him the way to the wonderful city. His hand was steadier now and his +eyes more intelligent and he said that he had heard something of some +such city, but his memory was evidently blurred and he was still +unable to give me useful directions. I consequently gave him another +tumbler, which he drank off like the first without any water, and +almost at once he was a different man. The trembling in his hands +stopped altogether, his eye became as quick as a younger man's, he +answered my questions readily and frankly, and, what was more +important to me still, his old memory became alert and clear for even +minutest details. His gratitude to myself I need not mention, for I +make no pretence that I bought the bottle of whiskey that the old +shepherd enjoyed so much without at least some thought of my own +advantage. Yet it was pleasant to reflect that it was due to me that +he had pulled himself together and steadied his shaking hand and +cleared his mind, recovered his memory and his self-respect. He spoke +to me quite clearly, no longer slurring his words; he had seen the +city first one moonlight night when he was lost in the mist on the big +moor, he had wandered far in the mist, and when it lifted he saw the +city by moonlight. He had no food, but luckily had his flask. There +never was such a city, not even in books. Travellers talked sometimes +of Venice seen from the sea, there might be such a place or there +might not, but, whether or no, it was nothing to the city on +Mallington Moor. Men who read books had talked to him in his time, +hundreds of books, but they never could tell of any city like this. +Why, the place was all of marble, roads, walls and palaces, all pure +white marble, and the tops of the tall thin spires were entirely of +gold. And they were queer folk in the city even for foreigners. And +there were camels, but I cut him short for I thought I could judge for +myself, if there was such a place, and, if not, I was wasting my time +as well as a pint of good whiskey. So I got him to speak of the way, +and after more circumlocution than I needed and more talk of the city +he pointed to a tiny track on the black earth just beside us, a little +twisty way you could hardly see. +</P> + +<P> +I said the moor was trackless; untrodden of man or dog it certainly +was and seemed to have less to do with the ways of man than any waste +I have seen, but the track the old shepherd showed me, if track it +was, was no more than the track of a hare—an elf-path the old man +called it, Heaven knows what he meant. And then before I left him he +insisted on giving me his flask with the queer strong rum it +contained. Whiskey brings out in some men melancholy, in some +rejoicing, with him it was clearly generosity and he insisted until I +took his rum, though I did not mean to drink it. It was lonely up +there, he said, and bitter cold and the city hard to find, being set +in a hollow, and I should need the rum, and he had never seen the +marble city except on days when he had had his flask: he seemed to +regard that rusted iron flask as a sort of mascot, and in the end I +took it. +</P> + +<P> +I followed that odd, faint track on the black earth under the heather +till I came to the big grey stone beyond the horizon, where the track +divides into two, and I took the one to the left as the old man told +me. I knew by another stone that I saw far off that I had not lost my +way, nor the old man lied. +</P> + +<P> +And just as I hoped to see the city's ramparts before the gloaming +fell on that desolate place, I suddenly saw a long high wall of +whiteness with pinnacles here and there thrown up above it, floating +towards me silent and grim as a secret, and knew it for that evil +thing the mist. The sun, though low, was shining on every sprig of +heather, the green and scarlet mosses were shining with it too, it +seemed incredible that in three minutes' time all those colours would +be gone and nothing left all round but a grey darkness. I gave up hope +of finding the city that day, a broader path than mine could have been +quite easily lost. I hastily chose for my bed a thick patch of +heather, wrapped myself in a waterproof cloak, and lay down and made +myself comfortable. And then the mist came. It came like the careful +pulling of lace curtains, then like the drawing of grey blinds; it +shut out the horizon to the north, then to the east and west; it +turned the whole sky white and hid the moor; it came down on it like a +metropolis, only utterly silent, silent and white as tombstones. +</P> + +<P> +And then I was glad of that strange strong rum, or whatever it was in +the flask that the shepherd gave me, for I did not think that the mist +would clear till night, and I feared the night would be cold. So I +nearly emptied the flask; and, sooner than I expected, I fell asleep, +for the first night out as a rule one does not sleep at once but is +kept awake some while by the little winds and the unfamiliar sound of +the things that wander at night, and that cry to one another far-off +with their queer, faint voices; one misses them afterwards when one +gets to houses again. But I heard none of these sounds in the mist +that evening. +</P> + +<P> +And then I woke and found that the mist was gone and the sun was just +disappearing under the moor, and I knew that I had not slept for as +long as I thought. And I decided to go on while I could, for I thought +that I was not very far from the city. +</P> + +<P> +I went on and on along the twisty track, bits of the mist came down +and filled the hollows but lifted again at once so that I saw my way. +The twilight faded as I went, a star appeared, and I was able to see +the track no longer. I could go no further that night, yet before I +lay down to sleep I decided to go and look over the edge of a wide +depression in the moor that I saw a little way off. So I left the +track and walked a few hundred yards, and when I got to the edge the +hollow was full of mist all white underneath me. Another star appeared +and a cold wind arose, and with the wind the mist flapped away like a +curtain. And there was the city. +</P> + +<P> +Nothing the shepherd had said was the least untrue or even +exaggerated. The poor old man had told the simple truth, there is not +a city like it in the world. What he had called thin spires were +minarets, but the little domes on the top were clearly pure gold as he +said. There were the marble terraces he described and the pure white +palaces covered with carving and hundreds of minarets. The city was +obviously of the East and yet where there should have been crescents +on the domes of the minarets there were golden suns with rays, and +wherever one looked one saw things that obscured its origin. I walked +down to it, and, passing through a wicket gate of gold in a low wall +of white marble, I entered the city. The heather went right up to the +city's edge and beat against the marble wall whenever the wind blew +it. Lights began to twinkle from high windows of blue glass as I +walked up the white street, beautiful copper lanterns were lit up and +let down from balconies by silver chains, from doors ajar came the +sound of voices singing, and then I saw the men. Their faces were +rather grey than black, and they wore beautiful robes of coloured silk +with hems embroidered with gold and some with copper, and sometimes +pacing down the marble ways with golden baskets hung on each side of +them I saw the camels of which the old shepherd spoke. +</P> + +<P> +The people had kindly faces, but, though they were evidently friendly +to strangers, I could not speak with them being ignorant of their +language, nor were the sounds of the syllables they used like any +language I had ever heard: they sounded more like grouse. +</P> + +<P> +When I tried to ask them by signs whence they had come with their city +they would only point to the moon, which was bright and full and was +shining fiercely on those marble ways till the city danced in light. +And now there began appearing one by one, slipping softly out through +windows, men with stringed instruments in the balconies. They were +strange instruments with huge bulbs of wood, and they played softly on +them and very beautifully, and their queer voices softly sang to the +music weird dirges of the griefs of their native land wherever that +may be. And far off in the heart of the city others were singing too, +the sound of it came to me wherever I roamed, not loud enough to +disturb my thoughts, but gently turning the mind to pleasant things. +Slender carved arches of marble, as delicate almost as lace, crossed +and re-crossed the ways wherever I went. There was none of that hurry +of which foolish cities boast, nothing ugly or sordid so far as I +could see. I saw that it was a city of beauty and song. I wondered how +they had travelled with all that marble, how they had laid it down on +Mallington Moor, whence they had come and what their resources were, +and determined to investigate closely next morning, for the old +shepherd had not troubled his head to think how the city came, he had +only noted that the city was there (and of course no one believed him, +though that is partly his fault for his dissolute ways). But at night +one can see little and I had walked all day, so I determined to find a +place to rest in. And just as I was wondering whether to ask for +shelter of those silk-robed men by signs or whether to sleep outside +the walls and enter again in the morning, I came to a great archway in +one of the marble houses with two black curtains, embroidered below +with gold, hanging across it. Over the archway were carved apparently +in many tongues the words: "Here strangers rest." In Greek, Latin and +Spanish the sentence was repeated and there was writing also in the +language that you see on the walls of the great temples of Egypt, and +Arabic and what I took to be early Assyrian and one or two languages I +had never seen. I entered through the curtains and found a tesselated +marble court with golden braziers burning sleepy incense swinging by +chains from the roof, all round the walls were comfortable mattresses +lying upon the floor covered with cloths and silks. It must have been +ten o'clock and I was tired. Outside the music still softly filled the +streets, a man had set a lantern down on the marble way, five or six +sat down round him, and he was sonorously telling them a story. Inside +there were some already asleep on the beds, in the middle of the wide +court under the braziers a woman dressed in blue was singing very +gently, she did not move, but sung on and on, I never heard a song +that was so soothing. I lay down on one of the mattresses by the wall, +which was all inlaid with mosaics, and pulled over me some of the +cloths with their beautiful alien work, and almost immediately my +thoughts seemed part of the song that the woman was singing in the +midst of the court under the golden braziers that hung from the high +roof, and the song turned them to dreams, and so I fell asleep. +</P> + +<P> +A small wind having arisen, I was awakened by a sprig of heather that +beat continually against my face. It was morning on Mallington Moor, +and the city was quite gone. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="milkman"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn +</H3> + +<P> +In the Hall of the Ancient Company of Milkmen round the great +fireplace at the end, when the winter logs are burning and all the +craft are assembled they tell to-day, as their grandfathers told +before them, why the milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. +</P> + +<P> +When dawn comes creeping over the edges of hills, peers through the +tree-trunks making wonderful shadows, touches the tops of tall columns +of smoke going up from awakening cottages in the valleys, and breaks +all golden over Kentish fields, when going on tip-toe thence it comes +to the walls of London and slips all shyly up those gloomy streets the +milkman perceives it and shudders. +</P> + +<P> +A man may be a Milkman's Working Apprentice, may know what borax is +and how to mix it, yet not for that is the story told to him. There +are five men alone that tell that story, five men appointed by the +Master of the Company, by whom each place is filled as it falls +vacant, and if you do not hear it from one of them you hear the story +from no one and so can never know why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. +</P> + +<P> +It is the way of one of these five men, greybeards all and milkmen +from infancy, to rub his hands by the fire when the great logs burn, +and to settle himself more easily in his chair, perhaps to sip some +drink far other than milk, then to look round to see that none are +there to whom it would not be fitting the tale should be told and, +looking from face to face and seeing none but the men of the Ancient +Company, and questioning mutely the rest of the five with his eyes, if +some of the five be there, and receiving their permission, to cough +and to tell the tale. And a great hush falls in the Hall of the +Ancient Company, and something about the shape of the roof and the +rafters makes the tale resonant all down the hall so that the youngest +hears it far away from the fire and knows, and dreams of the day when +perhaps he will tell himself why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. +</P> + +<P> +Not as one tells some casual fact is it told, nor is it commented on +from man to man, but it is told by that great fire only and when the +occasion and the stillness of the room and the merit of the wine and +the profit of all seem to warrant it in the opinion of the five +deputed men: then does one of them tell it, as I have said, not +heralded by any master of ceremonies but as though it arose out of the +warmth of the fire before which his knotted hands would chance to be; +not a thing learned by rote, but told differently by each teller, and +differently according to his mood, yet never has one of them dared to +alter its salient points, there is none so base among the Company of +Milkmen. The Company of Powderers for the Face know of this story and +have envied it, the Worthy Company of Chin-Barbers, and the Company of +Whiskerers; but none have heard it in the Milkmen's Hall, through +whose wall no rumour of the secret goes, and though they have invented +tales of their own Antiquity mocks them. +</P> + +<P> +This mellow story was ripe with honourable years when milkmen wore +beaver hats, its origin was still mysterious when smocks were the +vogue, men asked one another when Stuarts were on the throne (and only +the Ancient Company knew the answer) why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. It is all for envy of this tale's reputation that +the Company of Powderers for the Face have invented the tale that they +too tell of an evening, "Why the Dog Barks when he hears the step of +the Baker"; and because probably all men know that tale the Company of +the Powderers for the Face have dared to consider it famous. Yet it +lacks mystery and is not ancient, is not fortified with classical +allusion, has no secret lore, is common to all who care for an idle +tale, and shares with "The Wars of the Elves," the Calf-butcher's +tale, and "The Story of the Unicorn and the Rose," which is the tale +of the Company of Horse-drivers, their obvious inferiority. +</P> + +<P> +But unlike all these tales so new to time, and many another that the +last two centuries tell, the tale that the milkmen tell ripples wisely +on, so full of quotation from the profoundest writers, so full of +recondite allusion, so deeply tinged with all the wisdom of man and +instructive with the experience of all times that they that hear it in +the Milkmen's Hall as they interpret allusion after allusion and trace +obscure quotation lose idle curiosity and forget to question why the +milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. +</P> + +<P> +You also, O my reader, give not yourself up to curiosity. Consider of +how many it is the bane. Would you to gratify this tear away the +mystery from the Milkmen's Hall and wrong the Ancient Company of +Milkmen? Would they if all the world knew it and it became a common +thing to tell that tale any more that they have told for the last four +hundred years? Rather a silence would settle upon their hall and a +universal regret for the ancient tale and the ancient winter evenings. +And though curiosity were a proper consideration yet even then this is +not the proper place nor this the proper occasion for the Tale. For +the proper place is only the Milkmen's Hall and the proper occasion +only when logs burn well and when wine has been deeply drunken, then +when the candles were burning well in long rows down to the dimness, +down to the darkness and mystery that lie at the end of the hall, then +were you one of the Company, and were I one of the five, would I rise +from my seat by the fireside and tell you with all the embellishments +that it has gleaned from the ages that story that is the heirloom of +the milkmen. And the long candles would burn lower and lower and +gutter and gutter away till they liquefied in their sockets, and +draughts would blow from the shadowy end of the hall stronger and +stronger till the shadows came after them, and still I would hold you +with that treasured story, not by any wit of mine but all for the sake +of its glamour and the times out of which it came; one by one the +candles would flare and die and, when all were gone, by the light of +ominous sparks when each milkman's face looks fearful to his fellow, +you would know, as now you cannot, why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="woman"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Bad Old Woman in Black +</H3> + +<P> +The bad old woman in black ran down the street of the ox-butchers. +</P> + +<P> +Windows at once were opened high up in those crazy gables; heads were +thrust out: it was she. Then there arose the counsel of anxious +voices, calling sideways from window to window or across to opposite +houses. Why was she there with her sequins and bugles and old black +gown? Why had she left her dreaded house? On what fell errand she +hasted? +</P> + +<P> +They watched her lean, lithe figure, and the wind in that old black +dress, and soon she was gone from the cobbled street and under the +town's high gateway. She turned at once to her right and was hid from +the view of the houses. Then they all ran down to their doors, and +small groups formed on the pavement; there they took counsel together, +the eldest speaking first. Of what they had seen they said nothing, +for there was no doubt it was she; it was of the future they spoke, +and the future only. +</P> + +<P> +In what notorious thing would her errand end? What gains had tempted +her out from her fearful home? What brilliant but sinful scheme had +her genius planned? Above all, what future evil did this portend? Thus +at first it was only questions. And then the old grey-beards spoke, +each one to a little group; they had seen her out before, had known +her when she was younger, and had noted the evil things that had +followed her goings: the small groups listened well to their low and +earnest voices. No one asked questions now or guessed at her infamous +errand, but listened only to the wise old men who knew the things that +had been, and who told the younger men of the dooms that had come +before. +</P> + +<P> +Nobody knew how many times she had left her dreaded house; but the +oldest recounted all the times that they knew, and the way she had +gone each time, and the doom that had followed her going; and two +could remember the earthquake that there was in the street of the +shearers. +</P> + +<P> +So were there many tales of the times that were, told on the pavement +near the old green doors by the edge of the cobbled street, and the +experience that the aged men had bought with their white hairs might +be had cheap by the young. But from all their experience only this was +clear, that never twice in their lives had she done the same infamous +thing, and that the same calamity twice had never followed her goings. +Therefore it seemed that means were doubtful and few for finding out +what thing was about to befall; and an ominous feeling of gloom came +down on the street of the ox-butchers. And in the gloom grew fears of +the very worst. This comfort they only had when they put their fear +into words—that the doom that followed her goings had never yet been +anticipated. One feared that with magic she meant to move the moon; +and he would have dammed the high tide on the neighbouring coast, +knowing that as the moon attracted the sea the sea must attract the +moon, and hoping by his device to humble her spells. Another would +have fetched iron bars and clamped them across the street, remembering +the earthquake there was in the street of the shearers. Another would +have honoured his household gods, the little cat-faced idols seated +above his hearth, gods to whom magic was no unusual thing, and, having +paid their fees and honoured them well, would have put the whole case +before them. His scheme found favour with many, and yet at last was +rejected, for others ran indoors and brought out their gods, too, to +be honoured, till there was a herd of gods all seated there on the +pavement; yet would they have honoured them and put their case before +them but that a fat man ran up last of all, carefully holding under a +reverent arm his own two hound-faced gods, though he knew well—as, +indeed, all men must—that they were notoriously at war with the +little cat-faced idols. And although the animosities natural to faith +had all been lulled by the crisis, yet a look of anger had come into +the cat-like faces that no one dared disregard, and all perceived that +if they stayed a moment longer there would be flaming around them the +jealousy of the gods; so each man hastily took his idols home, leaving +the fat man insisting that his hound-faced gods should be honoured. +</P> + +<P> +Then there were schemes again and voices raised in debate, and many +new dangers feared and new plans made. +</P> + +<P> +But in the end they made no defence against danger, for they knew not +what it would be, but wrote upon parchment as a warning, and in order +that all might know: "<I>The bad old woman in black ran down the street +of the ox-butchers.</I>" +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="bird"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Bird of the Difficult Eye +</H3> + +<P> +Observant men and women that know their Bond Street well will +appreciate my astonishment when in a jewellers' shop I perceived that +nobody was furtively watching me. Not only this but when I even picked +up a little carved crystal to examine it no shop-assistants crowded +round me. I walked the whole length of the shop, still no one politely +followed. +</P> + +<P> +Seeing from this that some extraordinary revolution had occurred in +the jewelry business I went with my curiosity well aroused to a queer +old person half demon and half man who has an idol-shop in a byway of +the City and who keeps me informed of affairs at the Edge of the +World. And briefly over a pinch of heather incense that he takes by +way of snuff he gave me this tremendous information: that Mr. Neepy +Thang the son of Thangobrind had returned from the Edge of the World +and was even now in London. +</P> + +<P> +The information may not appear tremendous to those unacquainted with +the source of jewelry; but when I say that the only thief employed by +any West-end jeweller since famous Thangobrind's distressing doom is +this same Neepy Thang, and that for lightness of fingers and swiftness +of stockinged foot they have none better in Paris, it will be +understood why the Bond Street jewellers no longer cared what became +of their old stock. +</P> + +<P> +There were big diamonds in London that summer and a few considerable +sapphires. In certain astounding kingdoms behind the East strange +sovereigns missed from their turbans the heirlooms of ancient wars, +and here and there the keepers of crown jewels who had not heard the +stockinged feet of Thang, were questioned and died slowly. +</P> + +<P> +And the jewellers gave a little dinner to Thang at the Hotel Great +Magnificent; the windows had not been opened for five years and there +was wine at a guinea a bottle that you could not tell from champagne +and cigars at half a crown with a Havana label. Altogether it was a +splendid evening for Thang. +</P> + +<P> +But I have to tell of a far sadder thing than a dinner at a hotel. The +public require jewelry and jewelry must be obtained. I have to tell of +Neepy Thang's last journey. +</P> + +<P> +That year the fashion was emeralds. A man named Green had recently +crossed the Channel on a bicycle and the jewellers said that a green +stone would be particularly appropriate to commemorate the event and +recommended emeralds. +</P> + +<P> +Now a certain money-lender of Cheapside who had just been made a peer +had divided his gains into three equal parts; one for the purchase of +the peerage, country house and park, and the twenty thousand pheasants +that are absolutely essential, and one for the upkeep of the position, +while the third he banked abroad, partly to cheat the native +tax-gatherer and partly because it seemed to him that the days of the +Peerage were few and that he might at any moment be called upon to +start afresh elsewhere. In the upkeep of the position he included +jewelry for his wife and so it came about that Lord Castlenorman +placed an order with two well-known Bond-street jewellers named +Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell to the extent of £100,000 for a few +reliable emeralds. +</P> + +<P> +But the emeralds in stock were mostly small and shop-soiled and Neepy +Thang had to set out at once before he had had as much as a week in +London. I will briefly sketch his project. Not many knew it, for where +the form of business is blackmail the fewer creditors you have the +better (which of course in various degrees applies at all times). +</P> + +<P> +On the shores of the risky seas of Shiroora Shan grows one tree only +so that upon its branches if anywhere in the world there must build +its nest the Bird of the Difficult Eye. Neepy Thang had come by this +information, which was indeed the truth, that if the bird migrated to +Fairyland before the three eggs hatched out they would undoubtedly all +turn into emeralds, while if they hatched out first it would be a bad +business. +</P> + +<P> +When he had mentioned these eggs to Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell +they had said, "The very thing": they were men of few words, in +English, for it was not their native tongue. +</P> + +<P> +So Neepy Thang set out. He bought the purple ticket at Victoria +Station. He went by Herne Hill, Bromley and Bickley and passed St. +Mary Cray. At Eynsford he changed and taking a footpath along a +winding valley went wandering into the hills. And at the top of a hill +in a little wood, where all the anemones long since were over and the +perfume of mint and thyme from outside came drifting in with Thang, he +found once more the familiar path, age-old and fair as wonder, that +leads to the Edge of the World. Little to him were its sacred memories +that are one with the secret of earth, for he was on business, and +little would they be to me if I ever put them on paper. Let it suffice +that he went down that path going further and further from the fields +we know, and all the way he muttered to himself, "What if the eggs +hatch out and it be a bad business!" The glamour that is at all times +upon those lonely lands that lie at the back of the chalky hills of +Kent intensified as he went upon his journeys. Queerer and queerer +grew the things that he saw by little World-End Path. Many a twilight +descended upon that journey with all their mysteries, many a blaze of +stars; many a morning came flaming up to a tinkle of silvern horns; +till the outpost elves of Fairyland came in sight and the glittering +crests of Fairyland's three mountains betokened the journey's end. And +so with painful steps (for the shores of the world are covered with +huge crystals) he came to the risky seas of Shiroora Shan and saw them +pounding to gravel the wreckage of fallen stars, saw them and heard +their roar, those shipless seas that between earth and the fairies' +homes heave beneath some huge wind that is none of our four. And there +in the darkness on the grizzly coast, for darkness was swooping +slantwise down the sky as though with some evil purpose, there stood +that lonely, gnarled and deciduous tree. It was a bad place to be +found in after dark, and night descended with multitudes of stars, +beasts prowling in the blackness gluttered [See any dictionary, but in +vain.] at Neepy Thang. And there on a lower branch within easy reach +he clearly saw the Bird of the Difficult Eye sitting upon the nest for +which she is famous. Her face was towards those three inscrutable +mountains, far-off on the other side of the risky seas, whose hidden +valleys are Fairyland. Though not yet autumn in the fields we know, it +was close on midwinter here, the moment as Thang knew when those eggs +hatch out. Had he miscalculated and arrived a minute too late? Yet the +bird was even now about to migrate, her pinions fluttered and her gaze +was toward Fairyland. Thang hoped and muttered a prayer to those pagan +gods whose spite and vengeance he had most reason to fear. It seems +that it was too late or a prayer too small to placate them, for there +and then the stroke of midwinter came and the eggs hatched out in the +roar of Shiroora Shan or ever the bird was gone with her difficult eye +and it was a bad business indeed for Neepy Thang; I haven't the heart +to tell you any more. +</P> + +<P> +"'Ere," said Lord Castlenorman some few weeks later to Messrs. +Grosvenor and Campbell, "you aren't 'arf taking your time about those +emeralds." +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="porter"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Long Porter's Tale +</H3> + +<P> +There are things that are known only to the long porter of Tong Tong +Tarrup as he sits and mumbles memories to himself in the little +bastion gateway. +</P> + +<P> +He remembers the war there was in the halls of the gnomes; and how the +fairies came for the opals once, which Tong Tong Tarrup has; and the +way that the giants went through the fields below, he watching from +his gateway: he remembers quests that are even yet a wonder to the +gods. Who dwells in those frozen houses on the high bare brink of the +world not even he has told me, and he is held to be garrulous. Among +the elves, the only living things ever seen moving at that awful +altitude where they quarry turquoise on Earth's highest crag, his name +is a byword for loquacity wherewith they mock the talkative. +</P> + +<P> +His favourite story if you offer him bash—the drug of which he is +fondest, and for which he will give his service in war to the elves +against the goblins, or vice-versa if the goblins bring him more—his +favourite story, when bodily soothed by the drug and mentally fiercely +excited, tells of a quest undertaken ever so long ago for nothing more +marketable than an old woman's song. +</P> + +<P> +Picture him telling it. An old man, lean and bearded, and almost +monstrously long, that lolled in a city's gateway on a crag perhaps +ten miles high; the houses for the most part facing eastward, lit by +the sun and moon and the constellations we know, but one house on the +pinnacle looking over the edge of the world and lit by the glimmer of +those unearthly spaces where one long evening wears away the stars: my +little offering of bash; a long forefinger that nipped it at once on a +stained and greedy thumb—all these are in the foreground of the +picture. In the background, the mystery of those silent houses and of +not knowing who their denizens were, or what service they had at the +hands of the long porter and what payment he had in return, and +whether he was mortal. +</P> + +<P> +Picture him in the gateway of this incredible town, having swallowed +my bash in silence, stretch his great length, lean back, and begin to +speak. +</P> + +<P> +It seems that one clear morning a hundred years ago, a visitor to Tong +Tong Tarrup was climbing up from the world. He had already passed +above the snow and had set his foot on a step of the earthward +stairway that goes down from Tong Tong Tarrup on to the rocks, when +the long porter saw him. And so painfully did he climb those easy +steps that the grizzled man on watch had long to wonder whether or not +the stranger brought him bash, the drug that gives a meaning to the +stars and seems to explain the twilight. And in the end there was not +a scrap of bash, and the stranger had nothing better to offer that +grizzled man than his mere story only. +</P> + +<P> +It seems that the stranger's name was Gerald Jones, and he always +lived in London; but once as a child he had been on a Northern moor. +It was so long ago that he did not remember how, only somehow or other +he walked alone on the moor, and all the ling was in flower. There was +nothing in sight but ling and heather and bracken, except, far off +near the sunset, on indistinct hills, there were little vague patches +that looked like the fields of men. With evening a mist crept up and +hid the hills, and still he went walking on over the moor. And then he +came to the valley, a tiny valley in the midst of the moor, whose +sides were incredibly steep. He lay down and looked at it through the +roots of the ling. And a long, long way below him, in a garden by a +cottage, with hollyhocks all round her that were taller than herself, +there sat an old woman on a wooden chair, singing in the evening. And +the man had taken a fancy to the song and remembered it after in +London, and whenever it came to his mind it made him think of +evenings—the kind you don't get in London—and he heard a soft wind +going idly over the moor and the bumble-bees in a hurry, and forgot +the noise of the traffic. And always, whenever he heard men speak of +Time, he grudged to Time most this song. Once afterwards he went to +that Northern moor again and found the tiny valley, but there was no +old woman in the garden, and no one was singing a song. And either +regret for the song that the old woman had sung, on a summer evening +twenty years away and daily receding, troubled his mind, or else the +wearisome work that he did in London, for he worked for a great firm +that was perfectly useless; and he grew old early, as men do in +cities. And at last, when melancholy brought only regret and the +uselessness of his work gained round him with age, he decided to +consult a magician. So to a magician he went and told him his +troubles, and particularly he told him how he had heard the song. "And +now," he said, "it is nowhere in the world." +</P> + +<P> +"Of course it is not in the world," the magician said, "but over the +Edge of the World you may easily find it." And he told the man that he +was suffering from flux of time and recommended a day at the Edge of +the World. Jones asked what part of the Edge of the World he should go +to, and the magician had heard Tong Tong Tarrup well spoken of; so he +paid him, as is usual, in opals, and started at once on the journey. +The ways to that town are winding; he took the ticket at Victoria +Station that they only give if they know you: he went past Bleth: he +went along the Hills of Neol-Hungar and came to the Gap of Poy. All +these are in that part of the world that pertains to the fields we +know; but beyond the Gap of Poy on those ordinary plains, that so +closely resemble Sussex, one first meets the unlikely. A line of +common grey hills, the Hills of Sneg, may be seen at the edge of the +plain from the Gap of Poy; it is there that the incredible begins, +infrequently at first, but happening more and more as you go up the +hills. For instance, descending once into Poy Plains, the first thing +that I saw was an ordinary shepherd watching a flock of ordinary +sheep. I looked at them for some time and nothing happened, when, +without a word, one of the sheep walked up to the shepherd and +borrowed his pipe and smoked it—an incident that struck me as +unlikely; but in the Hills of Sneg I met an honest politician. Over +these plains went Jones and over the Hills of Sneg, meeting at first +unlikely things, and then incredible things, till he came to the long +slope beyond the hills that leads up to the Edge of the World, and +where, as all guidebooks tell, anything may happen. You might at the +foot of this slope see here and there things that could conceivably +occur in the fields we know; but soon these disappeared, and the +traveller saw nothing but fabulous beasts, browsing on flowers as +astounding as themselves, and rocks so distorted that their shapes had +clearly a meaning, being too startling to be accidental. Even the +trees were shockingly unfamiliar, they had so much to say, and they +leant over to one another whenever they spoke and struck grotesque +attitudes and leered. Jones saw two fir-trees fighting. The effect of +these scenes on his nerves was very severe; still he climbed on, and +was much cheered at last by the sight of a primrose, the only familiar +thing he had seen for hours, but it whistled and skipped away. He saw +the unicorns in their secret valley. Then night in a sinister way +slipped over the sky, and there shone not only the stars, but lesser +and greater moons, and he heard dragons rattling in the dark. +</P> + +<P> +With dawn there appeared above him among its amazing crags the town of +Tong Tong Tarrup, with the light on its frozen stairs, a tiny cluster +of houses far up in the sky. He was on the steep mountain now: great +mists were leaving it slowly, and revealing, as they trailed away, +more and more astonishing things. Before the mist had all gone he +heard quite near him, on what he had thought was bare mountain, the +sound of a heavy galloping on turf. He had come to the plateau of the +centaurs. And all at once he saw them in the mist: there they were, +the children of fable, five enormous centaurs. Had he paused on +account of any astonishment he had not come so far: he strode on over +the plateau, and came quite near to the centaurs. It is never the +centaurs' wont to notice men; they pawed the ground and shouted to one +another in Greek, but they said no word to him. Nevertheless they +turned and stared at him when he left them, and when he had crossed +the plateau and still went on, all five of them cantered after to the +edge of their green land; for above the high green plateau of the +centaurs is nothing but naked mountains, and the last green thing that +is seen by the mountaineer as he travels to Tong Tong Tarrup is the +grass that the centaurs trample. He came into the snow fields that the +mountain wears like a cape, its head being bare above it, and still +climbed on. The centaurs watched him with increasing wonder. +</P> + +<P> +Not even fabulous beasts were near him now, nor strange demoniac +trees—nothing but snow and the clean bare crag above it on which was +Tong Tong Tarrup. All day he climbed and evening found him above the +snow-line; and soon he came to the stairway cut in the rock and in +sight of that grizzled man, the long porter of Tong Tong Tarrup, +sitting mumbling amazing memories to himself and expecting in vain +from the stranger a gift of bash. +</P> + +<P> +It seems that as soon as the stranger arrived at the bastion gateway, +tired though he was, he demanded lodgings at once that commanded a +good view of the Edge of the World. But the long porter, that grizzled +man, disappointed of his bash, demanded the stranger's story to add to +his memories before he would show him the way. And this is the story, +if the long porter has told me the truth and if his memory is still +what it was. And when the story was told, the grizzled man arose, and, +dangling his musical keys, went up through door after door and by many +stairs and led the stranger to the top-most house, the highest roof in +the world, and in its parlour showed him the parlour window. There the +tired stranger sat down in a chair and gazed out of the window sheer +over the Edge of the World. The window was shut, and in its glittering +panes the twilight of the World's Edge blazed and danced, partly like +glow-worms' lamps and partly like the sea; it went by rippling, full +of wonderful moons. But the traveller did not look at the wonderful +moons. For from the abyss there grew with their roots in far +constellations a row of hollyhocks, and amongst them a small green +garden quivered and trembled as scenes tremble in water; higher up, +ling in bloom was floating upon the twilight, more and more floated up +till all the twilight was purple; the little green garden low down was +hung in the midst of it. And the garden down below, and the ling all +round it, seemed all to be trembling and drifting on a song. For the +twilight was full of a song that sang and rang along the edges of the +World, and the green garden and the ling seemed to flicker and ripple +with it as the song rose and fell, and an old woman was singing it +down in the garden. A bumble-bee sailed across from over the Edge of +the World. And the song that was lapping there against the coasts of +the World, and to which the stars were dancing, was the same that he +had heard the old woman sing long since down in the valley in the +midst of the Northern moor. +</P> + +<P> +But that grizzled man, the long porter, would not let the stranger +stay, because he brought him no bash, and impatiently he shouldered +him away, himself not troubling to glance through the World's +outermost window, for the lands that Time afflicts and the spaces that +Time knows not are all one to that grizzled man, and the bash that he +eats more profoundly astounds his mind than anything man can show him +either in the World we know or over the Edge. And, bitterly +protesting, the traveller went back and down again to the World. +</P> + +<P CLASS="noindent" ALIGN="center"> +<SPAN STYLE="letter-spacing: 4em">*****</SPAN><BR> +</P> + +<P> +Accustomed as I am to the incredible from knowing the Edge of the +World, the story presents difficulties to me. Yet it may be that the +devastation wrought by Time is merely local, and that outside the +scope of his destruction old songs are still being sung by those that +we deem dead. I try to hope so. And yet the more I investigate the +story that the long porter told me in the town of Tong Tong Tarrup the +more plausible the alternative theory appears—that that grizzled man +is a liar. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="loma"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Loot of Loma +</H3> + +<P> +Coming back laden with the loot of Loma, the four tall men looked +earnestly to the right; to the left they durst not, for the precipice +there that had been with them so long went sickly down on to a bank of +clouds, and how much further below that only their fears could say. +</P> + +<P> +Loma lay smoking, a city of ruin, behind them, all its defenders dead; +there was no one left to pursue them, and yet their Indian instincts +told them that all was scarcely well. They had gone three days along +that narrow ledge: mountain quite smooth, incredible, above them, and +precipice as smooth and as far below. It was chilly there in the +mountains; at night a stream or a wind in the gloom of the chasm below +them went like a whisper; the stillness of all things else began to +wear the nerve—an enemy's howl would have braced them; they began to +wish their perilous path were wider, they began to wish that they had +not sacked Loma. +</P> + +<P> +Had that path been any wider the sacking of Loma must indeed have been +harder for them, for the citizens must have fortified the city but +that the awful narrowness of that ten-league pass of the hills had +made their crag-surrounded city secure. And at last an Indian had +said, "Come, let us sack it." Grimly they laughed in the wigwams. Only +the eagles, they said, had ever seen it, its hoard of emeralds and its +golden gods; and one had said he would reach it, and they answered, +"Only the eagles." +</P> + +<P> +It was Laughing Face who said it, and who gathered thirty braves and +led them into Loma with their tomahawks and their bows; there were +only four left now, but they had the loot of Loma on a mule. They had +four golden gods, a hundred emeralds, fifty-two rubies, a large silver +gong, two sticks of malachite with amethyst handles for holding +incense at religious feasts, four beakers one foot high, each carved +from a rose-quartz crystal; a little coffer carved out of two +diamonds, and (had they but known it) the written curse of a priest. +It was written on parchment in an unknown tongue, and had been slipped +in with the loot by a dying hand. +</P> + +<P> +From either end of that narrow, terrible ledge the third night was +closing in; it was dropping down on them from the heights of the +mountain and slipping up to them out of the abyss, the third night +since Loma blazed and they had left it. Three more days of tramping +should bring them in triumph home, and yet their instincts said that +all was scarcely well. We who sit at home and draw the blinds and shut +the shutters as soon as night appears, who gather round the fire when +the wind is wild, who pray at regular seasons and in familiar shrines, +know little of the demoniac look of night when it is filled with +curses of false, infuriated gods. Such a night was this. Though in the +heights the fleecy clouds were idle, yet the wind was stirring +mournfully in the abyss and moaning as it stirred, unhappily at first +and full of sorrow; but as day turned away from that awful path a very +definite menace entered its voice which fast grew louder and louder, +and night came on with a long howl. Shadows repeatedly passed over the +stars, and then a mist fell swiftly, as though there were something +suddenly to be done and utterly to be hidden, as in very truth there +was. +</P> + +<P> +And in the chill of that mist the four tall men prayed to their +totems, the whimsical wooden figures that stood so far away, watching +the pleasant wigwams; the firelight even now would be dancing over +their faces, while there would come to their ears delectable tales of +war. They halted upon the pass and prayed, and waited for any sign. +For a man's totem may be in the likeness perhaps of an otter, and a +man may pray, and if his totem be placable and watching over his man a +noise may be heard at once like the noise that the otter makes, though +it be but a stone that falls on another stone; and the noise is a +sign. The four men's totems that stood so far away were in the +likeness of the coney, the bear, the heron, and the lizard. They +waited, and no sign came. With all the noises of the wind in the +abyss, no noise was like the thump that the coney makes, nor the +bear's growl, nor the heron's screech, nor the rustle of the lizard in +the reeds. +</P> + +<P> +It seemed that the wind was saying something over and over again, and +that that thing was evil. They prayed again to their totems, and no +sign came. And then they knew that there was some power that night +that was prevailing against the pleasant carvings on painted poles of +wood with the firelight on their faces so far away. Now it was clear +that the wind was saying something, some very, very dreadful thing in +a tongue that they did not know. They listened, but they could not +tell what it said. Nobody could have said from seeing their faces how +much the four tall men desired the wigwams again, desired the +camp-fire and the tales of war and the benignant totems that listened +and smiled in the dusk: nobody could have seen how well they knew that +this was no common night or wholesome mist. +</P> + +<P> +When at last no answer came nor any sign from their totems, they +pulled out of the bag those golden gods that Loma gave not up except +in flames and when all her men were dead. They had large ruby eyes and +emerald tongues. They set them down upon that mountain pass, the +cross-legged idols with their emerald tongues; and having placed +between them a few decent yards, as it seemed meet there should be +between gods and men, they bowed them down and prayed in their +desperate straits in that dank, ominous night to the gods they had +wronged, for it seemed that there was a vengeance upon the hills and +that they would scarce escape, as the wind knew well. And the gods +laughed, all four, and wagged their emerald tongues; the Indians saw +them, though the night had fallen and though the mist was low. The +four tall men leaped up at once from their knees and would have left +the gods upon the pass but that they feared some hunter of their tribe +might one day find them and say of Laughing Face, "He fled and left +behind his golden gods," and sell the gold and come with his wealth to +the wigwams and be greater than Laughing Face and his three men. And +then they would have cast the gods away, down the abyss, with their +eyes and their emerald tongues, but they knew that enough already they +had wronged Loma's gods, and feared that vengeance enough was waiting +them on the hills. So they packed them back in the bag on the +frightened mule, the bag that held the curse they knew nothing of, and +so pushed on into the menacing night. Till midnight they plodded on +and would not sleep; grimmer and grimmer grew the look of the night, +and the wind more full of meaning, and the mule knew and trembled, and +it seemed that the wind knew, too, as did the instincts of those four +tall men, though they could not reason it out, try how they would. +</P> + +<P> +And though the squaws waited long where the pass winds out of the +mountains, near where the wigwams are upon the plains, the wigwams and +the totems and the fire, and though they watched by day, and for many +nights uttered familiar calls, still did they never see those four +tall men emerge out of the mountains any more, even though they prayed +to their totems upon their painted poles; but the curse in the +mystical writing that they had unknown in their bag worked there on +that lonely pass six leagues from the ruins of Loma, and nobody can +tell us what it was. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="secret"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Secret of the Sea +</H3> + +<P> +In an ill-lit ancient tavern that I know, are many tales of the sea; +but not without the wine of Gorgondy, that I had of a private bargain +from the gnomes, was the tale laid bare for which I had waited of an +evening for the greater part of a year. +</P> + +<P> +I knew my man and listened to his stories, sitting amid the bluster of +his oaths; I plied him with rum and whiskey and mixed drinks, but +there never came the tale for which I sought, and as a last resort I +went to the Huthneth Mountains and bargained there all night with the +chiefs of the gnomes. +</P> + +<P> +When I came to the ancient tavern and entered the low-roofed room, +bringing the hoard of the gnomes in a bottle of hammered iron, my man +had not yet arrived. The sailors laughed at my old iron bottle, but I +sat down and waited; had I opened it then they would have wept and +sung. I was well content to wait, for I knew my man had the story, and +it was such a one as had profoundly stirred the incredulity of the +faithless. +</P> + +<P> +He entered and greeted me, and sat down and called for brandy. He was +a hard man to turn from his purpose, and, uncorking my iron bottle, I +sought to dissuade him from brandy for fear that when the brandy, bit +his throat he should refuse to leave it for any other wine. He lifted +his head and said deep and dreadful things of any man that should dare +to speak against brandy. +</P> + +<P> +I swore that I said nothing against brandy but added that it was often +given to children, while Gorgondy was only drunk by men of such +depravity that they had abandoned sin because all the usual vices had +come to seem genteel. When he asked if Gorgondy was a bad wine to +drink I said that it was so bad that if a man sipped it that was the +one touch that made damnation certain. Then he asked me what I had in +the iron bottle, and I said it was Gorgondy; and then he shouted for +the largest tumbler in that ill-lit ancient tavern, and stood up and +shook his fist at me when it came, and swore, and told me to fill it +with the wine that I got on that bitter night from the treasure house +of the gnomes. +</P> + +<P> +As he drank it he told me that he had met men who had spoken against +wine, and that they had mentioned Heaven; and therefore he would not +go there—no, not he; and that once he had sent one of them to Hell, +but when he got there he would turn him out, and he had no use for +milksops. +</P> + +<P> +Over the second tumbler he was thoughtful, but still he said no word +of the tale he knew, until I feared that it would never be heard. But +when the third glass of that terrific wine had burned its way down his +gullet, and vindicated the wickedness of the gnomes, his reticence +withered like a leaf in the fire, and he bellowed out the secret. +</P> + +<P> +I had long known that there is in ships a will or way of their own, +and had even suspected that when sailors die or abandon their ships at +sea, a derelict, being left to her own devices, may seek her own ends; +but I had never dreamed by night, or fancied during the day, that the +ships had a god that they worshipped, or that they secretly slipped +away to a temple in the sea. +</P> + +<P> +Over the fourth glass of the wine that the gnomes so sinfully brew but +have kept so wisely from man, until the bargain that I had with their +elders all through that autumn night, the sailor told me the story. I +do not tell it as he told it to me because of the oaths that were in +it; nor is it from delicacy that I refrain from writing these oaths +verbatim, but merely because the horror they caused in me at the time +troubles me still whenever I put them on paper, and I continue to +shudder until I have blotted them out. Therefore, I tell the story in +my own words, which, if they possess a certain decency that was not in +the mouth of that sailor, unfortunately do not smack, as his did, of +rum and blood and the sea. +</P> + +<P> +You would take a ship to be a dead thing like a table, as dead as bits +of iron and canvas and wood. That is because you always live on shore, +and have never seen the sea, and drink milk. Milk is a more accursed +drink than water. +</P> + +<P> +What with the captain and what with the man at the wheel, and what +with the crew, a ship has no fair chance of showing a will of her own. +</P> + +<P> +There is only one moment in the history of ships, that carry crews on +board, when they act by their own free will. This moment comes when +all the crew are drunk. As the last man falls drunk on to the deck, +the ship is free of man, and immediately slips away. She slips away at +once on a new course and is never one yard out in a hundred miles. +</P> + +<P> +It was like this one night with the Sea-Fancy. Bill Smiles was there +himself, and can vouch for it. Bill Smiles has never told this tale +before for fear that anyone should call him a liar. Nobody dislikes +being hung as much as Bill Smiles would, but he won't be called a +liar. I tell the tale as I heard it, relevancies and irrelevancies, +though in my more decent words; and as I made no doubts of the truth +of it then, I hardly like to now; others can please themselves. +</P> + +<P> +It is not often that the whole of a crew is drunk. The crew of the +Sea-Fancy was no drunkener than others. It happened like this. +</P> + +<P> +The captain was always drunk. One day a fancy he had that some spiders +were plotting against him, or a sudden bleeding he had from both his +ears, made him think that drinking might be bad for his health. Next +day he signed the pledge. He was sober all that morning and all the +afternoon, but at evening he saw a sailor drinking a a glass of beer, +and a fit of madness seized him, and he said things that seemed bad to +Bill Smiles. And next morning he made all of them take the pledge. +</P> + +<P> +For two days nobody had a drop to drink, unless you count water, and +on the third morning the captain was quite drunk. It stood to reason +they all had a glass or two then, except the man at the wheel; and +towards evening the man at the wheel could bear it no longer, and +seems to have had his glass like all the rest, for the ship's course +wobbled a bit and made a circle or two. Then all of a sudden she went +off south by east under full canvas till midnight, and never altered +her course. And at midnight she came to the wide wet courts of the +Temple in the Sea. +</P> + +<P> +People who think that Mr. Smiles is drunk often make a great mistake. +And people are not the only ones that have made that mistake. Once a +ship made it, and a lot of ships. It's a mistake to think that old +Bill Smiles is drunk just because he can't move. +</P> + +<P> +Midnight and moonlight and the Temple in the Sea Bill Smiles clearly +remembers, and all the derelicts in the world were there, the old +abandoned ships. The figureheads were nodding to themselves and +blinking at the image. The image was a woman of white marble on a +pedestal in the outer court of the Temple of the Sea: she was clearly +the love of all the man-deserted ships, or the goddess to whom they +prayed their heathen prayers. And as Bill Smiles was watching them, +the lips of the figureheads moved; they all began to pray. But all at +once their lips were closed with a snap when they saw that there were +men on the Sea-Fancy. They all came crowding up and nodded and nodded +and nodded to see if all were drunk, and that's when they made their +mistake about old Bill Smiles, although he couldn't move. They would +have given up the treasuries of the gulfs sooner than let men hear the +prayers they said or guess their love for the goddess. It is the +intimate secret of the sea. +</P> + +<P> +The sailor paused. And, in my eagerness to hear what lyrical or +blasphemous thing those figureheads prayed by moonlight at midnight in +the sea to the woman of marble who was a goddess to ships, I pressed +on the sailor more of my Gorgondy wine that the gnomes so wickedly +brew. +</P> + +<P> +I should never have done it; but there he was sitting silent while the +secret was almost mine. He took it moodily and drank a glass; and with +the other glasses that he had had he fell a prey to the villainy of +the gnomes who brew this unbridled wine to no good end. His body +leaned forward slowly, then fell on to the table, his face being +sideways and full of a wicked smile, and, saying very clearly the one +word, "Hell," he became silent for ever with the secret he had from +the sea. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="black"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +How Ali Came to the Black Country +</H3> + +<P> +Shooshan the barber went to Shep the maker of teeth to discuss the +state of England. They agreed that it was time to send for Ali. +</P> + +<P> +So Shooshan stepped late that night from the little shop near Fleet +Street and made his way back again to his house in the ends of London +and sent at once the message that brought Ali. +</P> + +<P> +And Ali came, mostly on foot, from the country of Persia, and it took +him a year to come; but when he came he was welcome. +</P> + +<P> +And Shep told Ali what was the matter with England and Shooshan swore +that it was so, and Ali looking out of the window of the little shop +near Fleet Street beheld the ways of London and audibly blessed King +Solomon and his seal. +</P> + +<P> +When Shep and Shooshan heard the names of King Solomon and his seal +both asked, as they had scarcely dared before, if Ali had it. Ali +patted a little bundle of silks that he drew from his inner raiment. +It was there. +</P> + +<P> +Now concerning the movements and courses of the stars and the +influence on them of spirits of Earth and devils this age has been +rightly named by some The Second Age of Ignorance. But Ali knew. And +by watching nightly, for seven nights in Bagdad, the way of certain +stars he had found out the dwelling place of Him they Needed. +</P> + +<P> +Guided by Ali all three set forth for the Midlands. And by the +reverence that was manifest in the faces of Shep and Shooshan towards +the person of Ali, some knew what Ali carried, while others said that +it was the tablets of the Law, others the name of God, and others that +he must have a lot of money about him. So they passed Slod and Apton. +</P> + +<P> +And at last they came to the town for which Ali sought, that spot over +which he had seen the shy stars wheel and swerve away from their +orbits, being troubled. Verily when they came there were no stars, +though it was midnight. And Ali said that it was the appointed place. +In harems in Persia in the evening when the tales go round it is still +told how Ali and Shep and Shooshan came to the Black country. +</P> + +<P> +When it was dawn they looked upon the country and saw how it was +without doubt the appointed place, even as Ali had said, for the earth +had been taken out of pits and burned and left lying in heaps, and +there were many factories, and they stood over the town and as it were +rejoiced. And with one voice Shep and Shooshan gave praise to Ali. +</P> + +<P> +And Ali said that the great ones of the place must needs be gathered +together, and to this end Shep and Shooshan went into the town and +there spoke craftily. For they said that Ali had of his wisdom +contrived as it were a patent and a novelty which should greatly +benefit England. And when they heard how he sought nothing for his +novelty save only to benefit mankind they consented to speak with Ali +and see his novelty. And they came forth and met Ali. +</P> + +<P> +And Ali spake and said unto them: "O lords of this place; in the book +that all men know it is written how that a fisherman casting his net +into the sea drew up a bottle of brass, and when he took the stopper +from the bottle a dreadful genie of horrible aspect rose from the +bottle, as it were like a smoke, even to darkening the sky, whereat +the fisherman..." And the great ones of that place said: "We have +heard the story." And Ali said: "What became of that genie after he +was safely thrown back into the sea is not properly spoken of by any +save those that pursue the study of demons and not with certainty by +any man, but that the stopper that bore the ineffable seal and bears +it to this day became separate from the bottle is among those things +that man may know." And when there was doubt among the great ones Ali +drew forth his bundle and one by one removed those many silks till the +seal stood revealed; and some of them knew it for the seal and others +knew it not. +</P> + +<P> +And they looked curiously at it and listened to Ali, and Ali said: +</P> + +<P> +"Having heard how evil is the case of England, how a smoke has +darkened the country, and in places (as men say) the grass is black, +and how even yet your factories multiply, and haste and noise have +become such that men have no time for song, I have therefore come at +the bidding of my good friend Shooshan, barber of London, and of Shep, +a maker of teeth, to make things well with you." +</P> + +<P> +And they said: "But where is your patent and your novelty?" +</P> + +<P> +And Ali said: "Have I not here the stopper and on it, as good men +know, the ineffable seal? Now I have learned in Persia how that your +trains that make the haste, and hurry men to and fro, and your +factories and the digging of your pits and all the things that are +evil are everyone of them caused and brought about by steam." +</P> + +<P> +"Is it not so?" said Shooshan. +</P> + +<P> +"It is even so," said Shep. +</P> + +<P> +"Now it is clear," said Ali, "that the chief devil that vexes England +and has done all this harm, who herds men into cities and will not let +them rest, is even the devil Steam." +</P> + +<P> +Then the great ones would have rebuked him but one said: "No, let us +hear him, perhaps his patent may improve on steam." +</P> + +<P> +And to them hearkening Ali went on thus: "O Lords of this place, let +there be made a bottle of strong steel, for I have no bottle with my +stopper, and this being done let all the factories, trains, digging of +pits, and all evil things soever that may be done by steam be stopped +for seven days, and the men that tend them shall go free, but the +steel bottle for my stopper I will leave open in a likely place. Now +that chief devil, Steam, finding no factories to enter into, nor no +trains, sirens nor pits prepared for him, and being curious and +accustomed to steel pots, will verily enter one night into the bottle +that you shall make for my stopper, and I shall spring forth from my +hiding with my stopper and fasten him down with the ineffable seal +which is the seal of King Solomon and deliver him up to you that you +cast him into the sea." +</P> + +<P> +And the great ones answered Ali and they said: "But what should we +gain if we lose our prosperity and be no longer rich?" +</P> + +<P> +And Ali said: "When we have cast this devil into the sea there will +come back again the woods and ferns and all the beautiful things that +the world hath, the little leaping hares shall be seen at play, there +shall be music on the hills again, and at twilight ease and quiet and +after the twilight stars." +</P> + +<P> +And "Verily," said Shooshan, "there shall be the dance again." +</P> + +<P> +"Aye," said Shep, "there shall be the country dance." +</P> + +<P> +But the great ones spake and said, denying Ali: "We will make no such +bottle for your stopper nor stop our healthy factories or good trains, +nor cease from our digging of pits nor do anything that you desire, +for an interference with steam would strike at the roots of that +prosperity that you see so plentifully all around us." +</P> + +<P> +Thus they dismissed Ali there and then from that place where the earth +was torn up and burnt, being taken out of pits, and where factories +blazed all night with a demoniac glare; and they dismissed with him +both Shooshan, the barber, and Shep, the maker of teeth: so that a +week later Ali started from Calais on his long walk back to Persia. +</P> + +<P> +And all this happened thirty years ago, and Shep is an old man now and +Shooshan older, and many mouths have bit with the teeth of Shep (for +he has a knack of getting them back whenever his customers die), and +they have written again to Ali away in the country of Persia with +these words, saying: +</P> + +<P> +"O Ali. The devil has indeed begotten a devil, even that spirit +Petrol. And the young devil waxeth, and increaseth in lustihood and is +ten years old and becoming like to his father. Come therefore and help +us with the ineffable seal. For there is none like Ali." +</P> + +<P> +And Ali turns where his slaves scatter rose-leaves, letting the letter +fall, and deeply draws from his hookah a puff of the scented smoke, +right down into his lungs, and sighs it forth and smiles, and lolling +round on to his other elbow speaks comfortably and says, "And shall a +man go twice to the help of a dog?" +</P> + +<P> +And with these words he thinks no more of England but ponders again +the inscrutable ways of God. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="bureau"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Bureau d'Echange de Maux +</H3> + +<P> +I often think of the Bureau d'Echange de Maux and the wondrously evil +old man that sate therein. It stood in a little street that there is +in Paris, its doorway made of three brown beams of wood, the top one +overlapping the others like the Greek letter <I>pi</I>, all the rest +painted green, a house far lower and narrower than its neighbours and +infinitely stranger, a thing to take one's fancy. And over the doorway +on the old brown beam in faded yellow letters this legend ran, Bureau +Universel d'Echanges de Maux. +</P> + +<P> +I entered at once and accosted the listless man that lolled on a stool +by his counter. I demanded the wherefore of his wonderful house, what +evil wares he exchanged, with many other things that I wished to know, +for curiosity led me; and indeed had it not I had gone at once from +that shop, for there was so evil a look in that fattened man, in the +hang of his fallen cheeks and his sinful eye, that you would have said +he had had dealings with Hell and won the advantage by sheer +wickedness. +</P> + +<P> +Such a man was mine host; but above all the evil of him lay in his +eyes, which lay so still, so apathetic, that you would have sworn that +he was drugged or dead; like lizards motionless on a wall they lay, +then suddenly they darted, and all his cunning flamed up and revealed +itself in what one moment before seemed no more than a sleepy and +ordinary wicked old man. And this was the object and trade of that +peculiar shop, the Bureau Universel d'Echange de Maux: you paid twenty +francs, which the old man proceeded to take from me, for admission to +the bureau and then had the right to exchange any evil or misfortune +with anyone on the premises for some evil or misfortune that he "could +afford," as the old man put it. +</P> + +<P> +There were four or five men in the dingy ends of that low-ceilinged +room who gesticulated and muttered softly in twos as men who make a +bargain, and now and then more came in, and the eyes of the flabby +owner of the house leaped up at them as they entered, seemed to know +their errands at once and each one's peculiar need, and fell back +again into somnolence, receiving his twenty francs in an almost +lifeless hand and biting the coin as though in pure absence of mind. +</P> + +<P> +"Some of my clients," he told me. So amazing to me was the trade of +this extraordinary shop that I engaged the old man in conversation, +repulsive though he was, and from his garrulity I gathered these +facts. He spoke in perfect English though his utterance was somewhat +thick and heavy; no language seemed to come amiss to him. He had been +in business a great many years, how many he would not say, and was far +older than he looked. All kinds of people did business in his shop. +What they exchanged with each other he did not care except that it had +to be evils, he was not empowered to carry on any other kind of +business. +</P> + +<P> +There was no evil, he told me, that was not negotiable there; no evil +the old man knew had ever been taken away in despair from his shop. A +man might have to wait and come back again next day, and next day and +the day after, paying twenty francs each time, but the old man had the +addresses of all his clients and shrewdly knew their needs, and soon +the right two met and eagerly exchanged their commodities. +"Commodities" was the old man's terrible word, said with a gruesome +smack of his heavy lips, for he took a pride in his business and evils +to him were goods. +</P> + +<P> +I learned from him in ten minutes very much of human nature, more than +I have ever learned from any other man; I learned from him that a +man's own evil is to him the worst thing there is or ever could be, +and that an evil so unbalances all men's minds that they always seek +for extremes in that small grim shop. A woman that had no children had +exchanged with an impoverished half-maddened creature with twelve. On +one occasion a man had exchanged wisdom for folly. +</P> + +<P> +"Why on earth did he do that?" I said. +</P> + +<P> +"None of my business," the old man answered in his heavy indolent way. +He merely took his twenty francs from each and ratified the agreement +in the little room at the back opening out of the shop where his +clients do business. Apparently the man that had parted with wisdom +had left the shop upon the tips of his toes with a happy though +foolish expression all over his face, but the other went thoughtfully +away wearing a troubled and very puzzled look. Almost always it seemed +they did business in opposite evils. +</P> + +<P> +But the thing that puzzled me most in all my talks with that unwieldy +man, the thing that puzzles me still, is that none that had once done +business in that shop ever returned again; a man might come day after +day for many weeks, but once do business and he never returned; so +much the old man told me, but when I asked him why, he only muttered +that he did not know. +</P> + +<P> +It was to discover the wherefore of this strange thing and for no +other reason at all that I determined myself to do business sooner or +later in the little room at the back of that mysterious shop. I +determined to exchange some very trivial evil for some evil equally +slight, to seek for myself an advantage so very small as scarcely to +give Fate as it were a grip, for I deeply distrusted these bargains, +knowing well that man has never yet benefited by the marvellous and +that the more miraculous his advantage appears to be the more securely +and tightly do the gods or the witches catch him. In a few days more I +was going back to England and I was beginning to fear that I should be +sea-sick: this fear of sea-sickness, not the actual malady but only +the mere fear of it, I decided to exchange for a suitably little evil. +I did not know with whom I should be dealing, who in reality was the +head of the firm (one never does when shopping) but I decided that +neither Jew nor Devil could make very much on so small a bargain as +that. +</P> + +<P> +I told the old man my project, and he scoffed at the smallness of my +commodity trying to urge me to some darker bargain, but could not move +me from my purpose. And then he told me tales with a somewhat boastful +air of the big business, the great bargains that had passed through +his hands. A man had once run in there to try and exchange death, he +had swallowed poison by accident and had only twelve hours to live. +That sinister old man had been able to oblige him. A client was +willing to exchange the commodity. +</P> + +<P> +"But what did he give in exchange for death?" I said. +</P> + +<P> +"Life," said that grim old man with a furtive chuckle. +</P> + +<P> +"It must have been a horrible life," I said. +</P> + +<P> +"That was not my affair," the proprietor said, lazily rattling +together as he spoke a little pocketful of twenty-franc pieces. +</P> + +<P> +Strange business I watched in that shop for the next few days, the +exchange of odd commodities, and heard strange mutterings in corners +amongst couples who presently rose and went to the back room, the old +man following to ratify. +</P> + +<P> +Twice a day for a week I paid my twenty francs, watching life with its +great needs and its little needs morning and afternoon spread out +before me in all its wonderful variety. +</P> + +<P> +And one day I met a comfortable man with only a little need, he seemed +to have the very evil I wanted. He always feared the lift was going to +break. I knew too much of hydraulics to fear things as silly as that, +but it was not my business to cure his ridiculous fear. Very few words +were needed to convince him that mine was the evil for him, he never +crossed the sea, and I on the other hand could always walk upstairs, +and I also felt at the time, as many must feel in that shop, that so +absurd a fear could never trouble me. And yet at times it is almost +the curse of my life. When we both had signed the parchment in the +spidery back room and the old man had signed and ratified (for which +we had to pay him fifty francs each) I went back to my hotel, and +there I saw the deadly thing in the basement. They asked me if I would +go upstairs in the lift, from force of habit I risked it, and I held +my breath all the way and clenched my hands. Nothing will induce me to +try such a journey again. I would sooner go up to my room in a +balloon. And why? Because if a balloon goes wrong you have a chance, +it may spread out into a parachute after it has burst, it may catch in +a tree, a hundred and one things may happen, but if the lift falls +down its shaft you are done. As for sea-sickness I shall never be sick +again, I cannot tell you why except that I know that it is so. +</P> + +<P> +And the shop in which I made this remarkable bargain, the shop to +which none return when their business is done: I set out for it next +day. Blindfold I could have found my way to the unfashionable quarter +out of which a mean street runs, where you take the alley at the end, +whence runs the cul de sac where the queer shop stood. A shop with +pillars, fluted and painted red, stands on its near side, its other +neighbour is a low-class jeweller's with little silver brooches in the +window. In such incongruous company stood the shop with beams with its +walls painted green. +</P> + +<P> +In half an hour I found the cul de sac to which I had gone twice a day +for the last week, I found the shop with the ugly painted pillars and +the jeweller that sold brooches, but the green house with the three +beams was gone. +</P> + +<P> +Pulled down, you will say, although in a single night. That can never +be the answer to the mystery, for the house of the fluted pillars +painted on plaster and the low-class jeweller's shop with its silver +brooches (all of which I could identify one by one) were standing side +by side. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="story"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A Story of Land and Sea +</H3> + +<P> +It is written in the first Book of Wonder how Captain Shard of the bad +ship Desperate Lark, having looted the sea-coast city Bombasharna, +retired from active life; and resigning piracy to younger men, with +the good will of the North and South Atlantic, settled down with a +captured queen on his floating island. +</P> + +<P> +Sometimes he sank a ship for the sake of old times but he no longer +hovered along the trade-routes; and timid merchants watched for other +men. +</P> + +<P> +It was not age that caused him to leave his romantic profession; nor +unworthiness of its traditions, nor gun-shot wound, nor drink; but +grim necessity and force majeure. Five navies were after him. How he +gave them the slip one day in the Mediterranean, how he fought with +the Arabs, how a ship's broadside was heard in Lat. 23 N. Long. 4 E. +for the first time and the last, with other things unknown to +Admiralties, I shall proceed to tell. +</P> + +<P> +He had had his fling, had Shard, captain of pirates, and all his merry +men wore pearls in their ear-rings; and now the English fleet was +after him under full sail along the coast of Spain with a good North +wind behind them. They were not gaining much on Shard's rakish craft, +the bad ship Desperate Lark, yet they were closer than was to his +liking, and they interfered with business. +</P> + +<P> +For a day and a night they had chased him, when off Cape St. Vincent +at about six a.m. Shard took that step that decided his retirement +from active life, he turned for the Mediterranean. Had he held on +Southwards down the African coast it is doubtful whether in face of +the interference of England, Russia, France, Denmark and Spain, he +could have made piracy pay; but in turning for the Mediterranean he +took what we may call the penultimate step of his life which meant for +him settling down. There were three great courses of action invented +by Shard in his youth, upon which he pondered by day and brooded by +night, consolations in all his dangers, secret even from his men, +three means of escape as he hoped from any peril that might meet him +on the sea. One of these was the floating island that the Book of +Wonder tells of, another was so fantastic that we may doubt if even +the brilliant audacity of Shard could ever have found it practicable, +at least he never tried it so far as is known in that tavern by the +sea in which I glean my news, and the third he determined on carrying +out as he turned that morning for the Mediterranean. True he might yet +have practised piracy in spite of the step that he took, a little +later when the seas grew quiet, but that penultimate step was like +that small house in the country that the business man has his eye on, +like some snug investment put away for old age, there are certain +final courses in men's lives which after taking they never go back to +business. +</P> + +<P> +He turned then for the Mediterranean with the English fleet behind +him, and his men wondered. +</P> + +<P> +What madness was this,—muttered Bill the Boatswain in Old Frank's +only ear, with the French fleet waiting in the Gulf of Lyons and the +Spaniards all the way between Sardinia and Tunis: for they knew the +Spaniards' ways. And they made a deputation and waited upon Captain +Shard, all of them sober and wearing their costly clothes, and they +said that the Mediterranean was a trap, and all he said was that the +North wind should hold. And the crew said they were done. +</P> + +<P> +So they entered the Mediterranean and the English fleet came up and +closed the straits. And Shard went tacking along the Moroccan coast +with a dozen frigates behind him. And the North wind grew in strength. +And not till evening did he speak to his crew, and then he gathered +them all together except the man at the helm, and politely asked them +to come down to the hold. And there he showed them six immense steel +axles and a dozen low iron wheels of enormous width which none had +seen before; and he told his crew how all unknown to the world his +keel had been specially fitted for these same axles and wheels, and +how he meant soon to sail to the wide Atlantic again, though not by +the way of the straits. And when they heard the name of the Atlantic +all his merry men cheered, for they looked on the Atlantic as a wide +safe sea. +</P> + +<P> +And night came down and Captain Shard sent for his diver. With the sea +getting up it was hard work for the diver, but by midnight things were +done to Shard's satisfaction, and the diver said that of all the jobs +he had done—but finding no apt comparison, and being in need of a +drink, silence fell on him and soon sleep, and his comrades carried +him away to his hammock. All the next day the chase went on with the +English well in sight, for Shard had lost time overnight with his +wheels and axles, and the danger of meeting the Spaniards increased +every hour; and evening came when every minute seemed dangerous, yet +they still went tacking on towards the East where they knew the +Spaniards must be. +</P> + +<P> +And at last they sighted their topsails right ahead, and still Shard +went on. It was a close thing, but night was coming on, and the Union +Jack which he hoisted helped Shard with the Spaniards for the last few +anxious minutes, though it seemed to anger the English, but as Shard +said, "There's no pleasing everyone," and then the twilight shivered +into darkness. +</P> + +<P> +"Hard to starboard," said Captain Shard. +</P> + +<P> +The North wind which had risen all day was now blowing a gale. I do +not know what part of the coast Shard steered for, but Shard knew, for +the coasts of the world were to him what Margate is to some of us. +</P> + +<P> +At a place where the desert rolling up from mystery and from death, +yea, from the heart of Africa, emerges upon the sea, no less grand +than her, no less terrible, even there they sighted the land quite +close, almost in darkness. Shard ordered every man to the hinder part +of the ship and all the ballast too; and soon the Desperate Lark, her +prow a little high out of the water, doing her eighteen knots before +the wind, struck a sandy beach and shuddered, she heeled over a +little, then righted herself, and slowly headed into the interior of +Africa. +</P> + +<P> +The men would have given three cheers, but after the first Shard +silenced them and, steering the ship himself, he made them a short +speech while the broad wheels pounded slowly over the African sand, +doing barely five knots in a gale. The perils of the sea he said had +been greatly exaggerated. Ships had been sailing the sea for hundreds +of years and at sea you knew what to do, but on land this was +different. They were on land now and they were not to forget it. At +sea you might make as much noise as you pleased and no harm was done, +but on land anything might happen. One of the perils of the land that +he instanced was that of hanging. For every hundred men that they hung +on land, he said, not more than twenty would be hung at sea. The men +were to sleep at their guns. They would not go far that night; for the +risk of being wrecked at night was another danger peculiar to the +land, while at sea you might sail from set of sun till dawn: yet it +was essential to get out of sight of the sea for if anyone knew they +were there they'd have cavalry after them. And he had sent back +Smerdrak (a young lieutenant of pirates) to cover their tracks where +they came up from the sea. And the merry men vigorously nodded their +heads though they did not dare to cheer, and presently Smerdrak came +running up and they threw him a rope by the stern. And when they had +done fifteen knots they anchored, and Captain Shard gathered his men +about him and, standing by the land-wheel in the bows, under the large +and clear Algerian stars, he explained his system of steering. There +was not much to be said for it, he had with considerable ingenuity +detached and pivoted the portion of the keel that held the leading +axle and could move it by chains which were controlled from the +land-wheel, thus the front pair of wheels could be deflected at will, +but only very slightly, and they afterwards found that in a hundred +yards they could only turn their ship four yards from her course. But +let not captains of comfortable battleships, or owners even of yachts, +criticise too harshly a man who was not of their time and who knew not +modern contrivances; it should be remembered also that Shard was no +longer at sea. His steering may have been clumsy but he did what he +could. +</P> + +<P> +When the use and limitations of his land-wheel had been made clear to +his men, Shard bade them all turn in except those on watch. Long +before dawn he woke them and by the very first gleam of light they got +their ship under way, so that when those two fleets that had made so +sure of Shard closed in like a great crescent on the Algerian coast +there was no sign to see of the Desperate Lark either on sea or land; +and the flags of the Admiral's ship broke out into a hearty English +oath. +</P> + +<P> +The gale blew for three days and, Shard using more sail by daylight, +they scudded over the sands at little less than ten knots, though on +the report of rough water ahead (as the lookout man called rocks, low +hills or uneven surface before he adapted himself to his new +surroundings) the rate was much decreased. Those were long summer days +and Shard who was anxious while the wind held good to outpace the +rumour of his own appearance sailed for nineteen hours a day, lying to +at ten in the evening and hoisting sail again at three a.m. when it +first began to be light. +</P> + +<P> +In those three days he did five hundred miles; then the wind dropped +to a breeze though it still blew from the North, and for a week they +did no more than two knots an hour. The merry men began to murmur +then. Luck had distinctly favoured Shard at first for it sent him at +ten knots through the only populous districts well ahead of crowds +except those who chose to run, and the cavalry were away on a local +raid. As for the runners they soon dropped off when Shard pointed his +cannon though he did not dare to fire, up there near the coast; for +much as he jeered at the intelligence of the English and Spanish +Admirals in not suspecting his manoeuvre, the only one as he said that +was possible in the circumstances, yet he knew that cannon had an +obvious sound which would give his secret away to the weakest mind. +Certainly luck had befriended him, and when it did so no longer he +made out of the occasion all that could be made; for instance while +the wind held good he had never missed opportunities to revictual, if +he passed by a village its pigs and poultry were his, and whenever he +passed by water he filled his tanks to the brim, and now that he could +only do two knots he sailed all night with a man and a lantern before +him: thus in that week he did close on four hundred miles while +another man would have anchored at night and have missed five or six +hours out of the twenty-four. Yet his men murmured. Did he think the +wind would last for ever, they said. And Shard only smoked. It was +clear that he was thinking, and thinking hard. "But what is he +thinking about?" said Bill to Bad Jack. And Bad Jack answered: "He may +think as hard as he likes but thinking won't get us out of the Sahara +if this wind were to drop." +</P> + +<P> +And towards the end of that week Shard went to his chart-room and laid +a new course for his ship a little to the East and towards +cultivation. And one day towards evening they sighted a village, and +twilight came and the wind dropped altogether. Then the murmurs of the +merry men grew to oaths and nearly to mutiny. "Where were they now?" +they asked, and were they being treated like poor honest men? +</P> + +<P> +Shard quieted them by asking what they wished to do themselves and +when no one had any better plan than going to the villagers and saying +that they had been blown out of their course by a storm, Shard +unfolded his scheme to them. Long ago he had heard how they drove +carts with oxen in Africa, oxen were very numerous in these parts +wherever there was any cultivation, and for this reason when the wind +had begun to drop he had laid his course for the village: that night +the moment it was dark they were to drive off fifty yoke of oxen; by +midnight they must all be yoked to the bows and then away they would +go at a good round gallop. +</P> + +<P> +So fine a plan as this astonished the men and they all apologised for +their want of faith in Shard, shaking hands with him every one and +spitting on their hands before they did so in token of good will. +</P> + +<P> +The raid that night succeeded admirably, but ingenious as Shard was on +land, and a past-master at sea, yet it must be admitted that lack of +experience in this class of seamanship led him to make a mistake, a +slight one it is true, and one that a little practice would have +prevented altogether: the oxen could not gallop. Shard swore at them, +threatened them with his pistol, said they should have no food, and +all to no avail: that night and as long as they pulled the bad ship +Desperate Lark they did one knot an hour and no more. Shard's failures +like everything that came his way were used as stones in the edifice +of his future success, he went at once to his chart-room and worked +out all his calculations anew. +</P> + +<P> +The matter of the oxen's pace made pursuit impossible to avoid. Shard +therefore countermanded his order to his lieutenant to cover the +tracks in the sand, and the Desperate Lark plodded on into the Sahara +on her new course trusting to her guns. +</P> + +<P> +The village was not a large one and the little crowd that was sighted +astern next morning disappeared after the first shot from the cannon +in the stern. At first Shard made the oxen wear rough iron bits, +another of his mistakes, and strong bits too. "For if they run away," +he had said, "we might as well be driving before a gale and there's no +saying where we'd find ourselves," but after a day or two he found +that the bits were no good and, like the practical man he was, +immediately corrected his mistake. +</P> + +<P> +And now the crew sang merry songs all day bringing out mandolins and +clarionets and cheering Captain Shard. All were jolly except the +captain himself whose face was moody and perplexed; he alone expected +to hear more of those villagers; and the oxen were drinking up the +water every day, he alone feared that there was no more to be had, and +a very unpleasant fear that is when your ship is becalmed in a desert. +For over a week they went on like this doing ten knots a day and the +music and singing got on the captain's nerves, but he dared not tell +his men what the trouble was. And then one day the oxen drank up the +last of the water. And Lieutenant Smerdrak came and reported the fact. +</P> + +<P> +"Give them rum," said Shard, and he cursed the oxen. "What is good +enough for me," he said, "should be good enough for them," and he +swore that they should have rum. +</P> + +<P> +"Aye, aye, sir," said the young lieutenant of pirates. +</P> + +<P> +Shard should not be judged by the orders he gave that day, for nearly +a fortnight he had watched the doom that was coming slowly towards +him, discipline cut him off from anyone that might have shared his +fear and discussed it, and all the while he had had to navigate his +ship, which even at sea is an arduous responsibility. These things had +fretted the calm of that clear judgment that had once baffled five +navies. Therefore he cursed the oxen and ordered them rum, and +Smerdrak had said "Aye, aye, sir," and gone below. +</P> + +<P> +Towards sunset Shard was standing on the poop, thinking of death; it +would not come to him by thirst; mutiny first, he thought. The oxen +were refusing rum for the last time, and the men were beginning to eye +Captain Shard in a very ominous way, not muttering, but each man +looking at him with a sidelong look of the eye as though there were +only one thought among them all that had no need of words. A score of +geese like a long letter "V" were crossing the evening sky, they +slanted their necks and all went twisting downwards somewhere about +the horizon. Captain Shard rushed to his chart-room, and presently the +men came in at the door with Old Frank in front looking awkward and +twisting his cap in his hand. +</P> + +<P> +"What is it?" said Shard as though nothing were wrong. +</P> + +<P> +Then Old Frank said what he had come to say: "We want to know what you +be going to do." +</P> + +<P> +And the men nodded grimly. +</P> + +<P> +"Get water for the oxen," said Captain Shard, "as the swine won't have +rum, and they'll have to work for it, the lazy beasts. Up anchor!" +</P> + +<P> +And at the word water a look came into their faces like when some +wanderer suddenly thinks of home. +</P> + +<P> +"Water!" they said. +</P> + +<P> +"Why not?" said Captain Shard. And none of them ever knew that but for +those geese, that slanted their necks and suddenly twisted downwards, +they would have found no water that night nor ever after, and the +Sahara would have taken them as she has taken so many and shall take +so many more. All that night they followed their new course: at dawn +they found an oasis and the oxen drank. +</P> + +<P> +And here, on this green acre or so with its palm-trees and its well, +beleaguered by thousands of miles of desert and holding out through +the ages, here they decided to stay: for those who have been without +water for a while in one of Africa's deserts come to have for that +simple fluid such a regard as you, O reader, might not easily credit. +And here each man chose a site where he would build his hut, and +settle down, and marry perhaps, and even forget the sea; when Captain +Shard having filled his tanks and barrels peremptorily ordered them to +weigh anchor. There was much dissatisfaction, even some grumbling, but +when a man has twice saved his fellows from death by the sheer +freshness of his mind they come to have a respect for his judgment +that is not shaken by trifles. It must be remembered that in the +affair of the dropping of the wind and again when they ran out of +water these men were at their wits' end: so was Shard on the last +occasion, but that they did not know. All this Shard knew, and he +chose this occasion to strengthen the reputation that he had in the +minds of the men of that bad ship by explaining to them his motives, +which usually he kept secret. The oasis he said must be a port of call +for all the travellers within hundreds of miles: how many men did you +see gathered together in any part of the world where there was a drop +of whiskey to be had! And water here was rarer than whiskey in decent +countries and, such was the peculiarity of the Arabs, even more +precious. Another thing he pointed out to them, the Arabs were a +singularly inquisitive people and if they came upon a ship in the +desert they would probably talk about it; and the world having a +wickedly malicious tongue would never construe in its proper light +their difference with the English and Spanish fleets, but would merely +side with the strong against the weak. +</P> + +<P> +And the men sighed, and sang the capstan song and hoisted the anchor +and yoked the oxen up, and away they went doing their steady knot, +which nothing could increase. It may be thought strange that with all +sail furled in dead calm and while the oxen rested they should have +cast anchor at all. But custom is not easily overcome and long +survives its use. Rather enquire how many such useless customs we +ourselves preserve: the flaps for instance to pull up the tops of +hunting-boots though the tops no longer pull up, the bows on our +evening shoes that neither tie nor untie. They said they felt safer +that way and there was an end of it. +</P> + +<P> +Shard lay a course of South by West and they did ten knots that day, +the next day they did seven or eight and Shard hove to. Here he +intended to stop, they had huge supplies of fodder on board for the +oxen, for his men he had a pig or so, plenty of poultry, several sacks +of biscuits and ninety-eight oxen (for two were already eaten), and +they were only twenty miles from water. Here he said they would stay +till folks forgot their past, someone would invent something or some +new thing would turn up to take folks' minds off them and the ships he +had sunk: he forgot that there are men who are well paid to remember. +</P> + +<P> +Half way between him and the oasis he established a little depot where +he buried his water-barrels. As soon as a barrel was empty he sent +half a dozen men to roll it by turns to the depot. This they would do +at night, keeping hid by day, and next night they would push on to the +oasis, fill the barrel and roll it back. Thus only ten miles away he +soon had a store of water, unknown to the thirstiest native of Africa, +from which he could safely replenish his tanks at will. He allowed his +men to sing and even within reason to light fires. Those were jolly +nights while the rum held out; sometimes they saw gazelles watching +them curiously, sometimes a lion went by over the sand, the sound of +his roar added to their sense of the security of their ship; all round +them level, immense lay the Sahara: "This is better than an English +prison," said Captain Shard. +</P> + +<P> +And still the dead calm lasted, not even the sand whispered at night +to little winds; and when the rum gave out and it looked like trouble, +Shard reminded them what little use it had been to them when it was +all they had and the oxen wouldn't look at it. +</P> + +<P> +And the days wore on with singing, and even dancing at times, and at +nights round a cautious fire in a hollow of sand with only one man on +watch they told tales of the sea. It was all a relief after arduous +watches and sleeping by the guns, a rest to strained nerves and eyes; +and all agreed, for all that they missed their rum, that the best +place for a ship like theirs was the land. +</P> + +<P> +This was in Latitude 23 North, Longitude 4 East, where, as I have +said, a ship's broadside was heard for the first time and the last. It +happened this way. +</P> + +<P> +They had been there several weeks and had eaten perhaps ten or a dozen +oxen and all that while there had been no breath of wind and they had +seen no one: when one morning about two bells when the crew were at +breakfast the lookout man reported cavalry on the port side. Shard who +had already surrounded his ship with sharpened stakes ordered all his +men on board, the young trumpeter who prided himself on having picked +up the ways of the land, sounded "Prepare to receive cavalry". Shard +sent a few men below with pikes to the lower port-holes, two more +aloft with muskets, the rest to the guns, he changed the "grape" or +"canister" with which the guns were loaded in case of surprise, for +shot, cleared the decks, drew in ladders, and before the cavalry came +within range everything was ready for them. The oxen were always yoked +in order that Shard could manoeuvre his ship at a moment's notice. +</P> + +<P> +When first sighted the cavalry were trotting but they were coming on +now at a slow canter. Arabs in white robes on good horses. Shard +estimated that there were two or three hundred of them. At sixty yards +Shard opened with one gun, he had had the distance measured, but had +never practised for fear of being heard at the oasis: the shot went +high. The next one fell short and ricochetted over the Arabs' heads. +Shard had the range then and by the time the ten remaining guns of his +broadside were given the same elevation as that of his second gun the +Arabs had come to the spot where the last shot pitched. The broadside +hit the horses, mostly low, and ricochetted on amongst them; one +cannon-ball striking a rock at the horses' feet shattered it and sent +fragments flying amongst the Arabs with the peculiar scream of things +set free by projectiles from their motionless harmless state, and the +cannon-ball went on with them with a great howl, this shot alone +killed three men. +</P> + +<P> +"Very satisfactory," said Shard rubbing his chin. "Load with grape," +he added sharply. +</P> + +<P> +The broadside did not stop the Arabs nor even reduce their speed but +they crowded in closer together as though for company in their time of +danger, which they should not have done. They were four hundred yards +off now, three hundred and fifty; and then the muskets began, for the +two men in the crow's-nest had thirty loaded muskets besides a few +pistols, the muskets all stood round them leaning against the rail; +they picked them up and fired them one by one. Every shot told, but +still the Arabs came on. They were galloping now. It took some time to +load the guns in those days. Three hundred yards, two hundred and +fifty, men dropping all the way, two hundred yards; Old Frank for all +his one ear had terrible eyes; it was pistols now, they had fired all +their muskets; a hundred and fifty; Shard had marked the fifties with +little white stones. Old Frank and Bad Jack up aloft felt pretty +uneasy when they saw the Arabs had come to that little white stone, +they both missed their shots. +</P> + +<P> +"All ready?" said Captain Shard. +</P> + +<P> +"Aye, aye, sir," said Smerdrak. +</P> + +<P> +"Right," said Captain Shard raising a finger. +</P> + +<P> +A hundred and fifty yards is a bad range at which to be caught by +grape (or "case" as we call it now), the gunners can hardly miss and +the charge has time to spread. Shard estimated afterwards that he got +thirty Arabs by that broadside alone and as many horses. +</P> + +<P> +There were close on two hundred of them still on their horses, yet the +broadside of grape had unsettled them, they surged round the ship but +seemed doubtful what to do. They carried swords and scimitars in their +hands, though most had strange long muskets slung behind them, a few +unslung them and began firing wildly. They could not reach Shard's +merry men with their swords. Had it not been for that broadside that +took them when it did they might have climbed up from their horses and +carried the bad ship by sheer force of numbers, but they would have +had to have been very steady, and the broadside spoiled all that. +Their best course was to have concentrated all their efforts in +setting fire to the ship but this they did not attempt. Part of them +swarmed all round the ship brandishing their swords and looking vainly +for an easy entrance; perhaps they expected a door, they were not +sea-faring people; but their leaders were evidently set on driving off +the oxen not dreaming that the Desperate Lark had other means of +travelling. And this to some extent they succeeded in doing. Thirty +they drove off, cutting the traces, twenty they killed on the spot +with their scimitars though the bow gun caught them twice as they did +their work, and ten more were unluckily killed by Shard's bow gun. +Before they could fire a third time from the bows they all galloped +away, firing back at the oxen with their muskets and killing three +more, and what troubled Shard more than the loss of his oxen was the +way that they manoeuvred, galloping off just when the bow gun was +ready and riding off by the port bow where the broadside could not get +them, which seemed to him to show more knowledge of guns than they +could have learned on that bright morning. What, thought Shard to +himself, if they should bring big guns against the Desperate Lark! And +the mere thought of it made him rail at Fate. But the merry men all +cheered when they rode away. Shard had only twenty-two oxen left, and +then a score or so of the Arabs dismounted while the rest rode further +on leading their horses. And the dismounted men lay down on the port +bow behind some rocks two hundred yards away and began to shoot at the +oxen. Shard had just enough of them left to manoeuvre his ship with an +effort and he turned his ship a few points to the starboard so as to +get a broadside at the rocks. But grape was of no use here as the only +way he could get an Arab was by hitting one of the rocks with shot +behind which an Arab was lying, and the rocks were not easy to hit +except by chance, and as often as he manoeuvred his ship the Arabs +changed their ground. This went on all day while the mounted Arabs +hovered out of range watching what Shard would do; and all the while +the oxen were growing fewer, so good a mark were they, until only ten +were left, and the ship could manoeuvre no longer. But then they all +rode off. +</P> + +<P> +The merry men were delighted, they calculated that one way and another +they had unhorsed a hundred Arabs and on board there had been no more +than one man wounded: Bad Jack had been hit in the wrist; probably by +a bullet meant for the men at the guns, for the Arabs were firing +high. They had captured a horse and had found quaint weapons on the +bodies of the dead Arabs and an interesting kind of tobacco. It was +evening now and they talked over the fight, made jokes about their +luckier shots, smoked their new tobacco and sang; altogether it was +the jolliest evening they'd had. But Shard alone on the quarter-deck +paced to and fro pondering, brooding and wondering. He had chopped off +Bad Jack's wounded hand and given him a hook out of store, for captain +does doctor upon these occasions and Shard, who was ready for most +things, kept half a dozen or so of neat new limbs, and of course a +chopper. Bad Jack had gone below swearing a little and said he'd lie +down for a bit, the men were smoking and singing on the sand, and +Shard was there alone. The thought that troubled Shard was: what would +the Arabs do? They did not look like men to go away for nothing. And +at back of all his thoughts was one that reiterated guns, guns, guns. +He argued with himself that they could not drag them all that way on +the sand, that the Desperate Lark was not worth it, that they had +given it up. Yet he knew in his heart that that was what they would +do. He knew there were fortified towns in Africa, and as for its being +worth it, he knew that there was no pleasant thing left now to those +defeated men except revenge, and if the Desperate Lark had come over +the sand why not guns? He knew that the ship could never hold out +against guns and cavalry, a week perhaps, two weeks, even three: what +difference did it make how long it was, and the men sang: +</P> + +<P CLASS="poem"> + Away we go, Oho, Oho, Oho,<BR> + A drop of rum for you and me<BR> + And the world's as round as the letter O<BR> + And round it runs the sea.<BR> +</P> + +<P> +A melancholy settled down on Shard. +</P> + +<P> +About sunset Lieutenant Smerdrak came up for orders. Shard ordered a +trench to be dug along the port side of the ship. The men wanted to +sing and grumbled at having to dig, especially as Shard never +mentioned his fear of guns, but he fingered his pistols and in the end +Shard had his way. No one on board could shoot like Captain Shard. +That is often the way with captains of pirate ships, it is a difficult +position to hold. Discipline is essential to those that have the right +to fly the skull-and-cross-bones, and Shard was the man to enforce it. +It was starlight by the time the trench was dug to the captain's +satisfaction and the men that it was to protect when the worst came to +the worst swore all the time as they dug. And when it was finished +they clamoured to make a feast on some of the killed oxen, and this +Shard let them do. And they lit a huge fire for the first time, +burning abundant scrub, they thinking that Arabs daren't return, Shard +knowing that concealment was now useless. All that night they feasted +and sang, and Shard sat up in his chart-room making his plans. +</P> + +<P> +When morning came they rigged up the cutter as they called the +captured horse and told off her crew. As there were only two men that +could ride at all these became the crew of the cutter. Spanish Dick +and Bill the Boatswain were the two. +</P> + +<P> +Shard's orders were that turn and turn about they should take command +of the cutter and cruise about five miles off to the North East all +the day but at night they were to come in. And they fitted the horse +up with a flagstaff in front of the saddle so that they could signal +from her, and carried an anchor behind for fear she should run away. +</P> + +<P> +And as soon as Spanish Dick had ridden off Shard sent some men to roll +all the barrels back from the depot where they were buried in the +sand, with orders to watch the cutter all the time and, if she +signalled, to return as fast as they could. +</P> + +<P> +They buried the Arabs that day, removing their water-bottles and any +provisions they had, and that night they got all the water-barrels in, +and for days nothing happened. One event of extraordinary importance +did indeed occur, the wind got up one day, but it was due South, and +as the oasis lay to the North of them and beyond that they might pick +up the camel track Shard decided to stay where he was. If it had +looked to him like lasting Shard might have hoisted sail but it it +dropped at evening as he knew it would, and in any case it was not the +wind he wanted. And more days went by, two weeks without a breeze. The +dead oxen would not keep and they had had to kill three more, there +were only seven left now. +</P> + +<P> +Never before had the men been so long without rum. And Captain Shard +had doubled the watch besides making two more men sleep at the guns. +They had tired of their simple games, and most of their songs, and +their tales that were never true were no longer new. And then one day +the monotony of the desert came down upon them. +</P> + +<P> +There is a fascination in the Sahara, a day there is delightful, a +week is pleasant, a fortnight is a matter of opinion, but it was +running into months. The men were perfectly polite but the boatswain +wanted to know when Shard thought of moving on. It was an unreasonable +question to ask of the captain of any ship in a dead calm in a desert, +but Shard said he would set a course and let him know in a day or two. +And a day or two went by over the monotony of the Sahara, who for +monotony is unequalled by all the parts of the earth. Great marshes +cannot equal it, nor plains of grass nor the sea, the Sahara alone +lies unaltered by the seasons, she has no altering surface, no flowers +to fade or grow, year in year out she is changeless for hundreds and +hundreds of miles. And the boatswain came again and took off his cap +and asked Captain Shard to be so kind as to tell them about his new +course. Shard said he meant to stay until they had eaten three more of +the oxen as they could only take three of them in the hold, there were +only six left now. But what if there was no wind, the boatswain said. +And at that moment the faintest breeze from the North ruffled the +boatswain's forelock as he stood with his cap in his hand. +</P> + +<P> +"Don't talk about the wind to <I>me</I>," said Captain Shard: and Bill was +a little frightened for Shard's mother had been a gipsy. +</P> + +<P> +But it was only a breeze astray, a trick of the Sahara. And another +week went by and they ate two more oxen. +</P> + +<P> +They obeyed Captain Shard ostentatiously now but they wore ominous +looks. Bill came again and Shard answered him in Romany. +</P> + +<P> +Things were like this one hot Sahara morning when the cutter +signalled. The lookout man told Shard and Shard read the message, +"Cavalry astern" it read, and then a little later she signalled, "With +guns." +</P> + +<P> +"Ah," said Captain Shard. +</P> + +<P> +One ray of hope Shard had; the flags on the cutter fluttered. For the +first time for five weeks a light breeze blew from the North, very +light, you hardly felt it. Spanish Dick rode in and anchored his horse +to starboard and the cavalry came on slowly from the port. +</P> + +<P> +Not till the afternoon did they come in sight, and all the while that +little breeze was blowing. +</P> + +<P> +"One knot," said Shard at noon. "Two knots," he said at six bells and +still it grew and the Arabs trotted nearer. By five o'clock the merry +men of the bad ship Desperate Lark could make out twelve long +old-fashioned guns on low wheeled carts dragged by horses and what +looked like lighter guns carried on camels. The wind was blowing a +little stronger now. "Shall we hoist sail, sir?" said Bill. +</P> + +<P> +"Not yet," said Shard. +</P> + +<P> +By six o'clock the Arabs were just outside the range of cannon and +there they halted. Then followed an anxious hour or so, but the Arabs +came no nearer. They evidently meant to wait till dark to bring their +guns up. Probably they intended to dig a gun epaulment from which they +could safely pound away at the ship. +</P> + +<P> +"We could do three knots," said Shard half to himself as he was +walking up and down his quarter-deck with very fast short paces. And +then the sun set and they heard the Arabs praying and Shard's merry +men cursed at the top of their voices to show that they were as good +men as they. +</P> + +<P> +The Arabs had come no nearer, waiting for night. They did not know how +Shard was longing for it too, he was gritting his teeth and sighing +for it, he even would have prayed, but that he feared that it might +remind Heaven of him and his merry men. +</P> + +<P> +Night came and the stars. "Hoist sail," said Shard. The men sprang to +their places, they had had enough of that silent lonely spot. They +took the oxen on board and let the great sails down, and like a lover +coming from over sea, long dreamed of, long expected, like a lost +friend seen again after many years, the North wind came into the +pirates' sails. And before Shard could stop it a ringing English cheer +went away to the wondering Arabs. +</P> + +<P> +They started off at three knots and soon they might have done four but +Shard would not risk it at night. All night the wind held good, and +doing three knots from ten to four they were far out of sight of the +Arabs when daylight came. And then Shard hoisted more sail and they +did four knots and by eight bells they were doing four and a half. The +spirits of those volatile men rose high, and discipline became +perfect. So long as there was wind in the sails and water in the tanks +Captain Shard felt safe at least from mutiny. Great men can only be +overthrown while their fortunes are at their lowest. Having failed to +depose Shard when his plans were open to criticism and he himself +scarce knew what to do next it was hardly likely they could do it now; +and whatever we think of his past and his way of living we cannot deny +that Shard was among the great men of the world. +</P> + +<P> +Of defeat by the Arabs he did not feel so sure. It was useless to try +to cover his tracks even if he had had time, the Arab cavalry could +have picked them up anywhere. And he was afraid of their camels with +those light guns on board, he had heard they could do seven knots and +keep it up most of the day and if as much as one shot struck the +mainmast... and Shard taking his mind off useless fears worked out on +his chart when the Arabs were likely to overtake them. He told his men +that the wind would hold good for a week, and, gipsy or no, he +certainly knew as much about the wind as is good for a sailor to know. +</P> + +<P> +Alone in his chart-room he worked it out like this, mark two hours to +the good for surprise and finding the tracks and delay in starting, +say three hours if the guns were mounted in their epaulments, then the +Arabs should start at seven. Supposing the camels go twelve hours a +day at seven knots they would do eighty-four knots a day, while Shard +doing three knots from ten to four, and four knots the rest of the +time, was doing ninety and actually gaining. But when it came to it he +wouldn't risk more than two knots at night while the enemy were out of +sight, for he rightly regarded anything more than that as dangerous +when sailing on land at night, so he too did eighty-four knots a day. +It was a pretty race. I have not troubled to see if Shard added up his +figures wrongly or if he under-rated the pace of camels, but whatever +it was the Arabs gained slightly, for on the fourth day Spanish Jack, +five knots astern on what they called the cutter, sighted the camels a +very long way off and signalled the fact to Shard. They had left their +cavalry behind as Shard supposed they would. The wind held good, they +had still two oxen left and could always eat their "cutter", and they +had a fair, though not ample, supply of water, but the appearance of +the Arabs was a blow to Shard for it showed him that there was no +getting away from them, and of all things he dreaded guns. He made +light of it to the men: said they would sink the lot before they had +been in action half an hour: yet he feared that once the guns came up +it was only a question of time before his rigging was cut or his +steering gear disabled. +</P> + +<P> +One point the Desperate Lark scored over the Arabs and a very good one +too, darkness fell just before they could have sighted her and now +Shard used the lantern ahead as he dared not do on the first night +when the Arabs were close, and with the help of it managed to do three +knots. The Arabs encamped in the evening and the Desperate Lark gained +twenty knots. But the next evening they appeared again and this time +they saw the sails of the Desperate Lark. +</P> + +<P> +On the sixth day they were close. On the seventh they were closer. And +then, a line of verdure across their bows, Shard saw the Niger River. +</P> + +<P> +Whether he knew that for a thousand miles it rolled its course through +forest, whether he even knew that it was there at all; what his plans +were, or whether he lived from day to day like a man whose days are +numbered he never told his men. Nor can I get an indication on this +point from the talk that I hear from sailors in their cups in a +certain tavern I know of. His face was expressionless, his mouth shut, +and he held his ship to her course. That evening they were up to the +edge of the tree trunks and the Arabs camped and waited ten knots +astern and the wind had sunk a little. +</P> + +<P> +There Shard anchored a little before sunset and landed at once. At +first he explored the forest a little on foot. Then he sent for +Spanish Dick. They had slung the cutter on board some days ago when +they found she could not keep up. Shard could not ride but he sent for +Spanish Dick and told him he must take him as a passenger. So Spanish +Dick slung him in front of the saddle "before the mast" as Shard +called it, for they still carried a mast on the front of the saddle, +and away they galloped together. "Rough weather," said Shard, but he +surveyed the forest as he went and the long and short of it was he +found a place where the forest was less than half a mile thick and the +Desperate Lark might get through: but twenty trees must be cut. Shard +marked the trees himself, sent Spanish Dick right back to watch the +Arabs and turned the whole of his crew on to those twenty trees. It +was a frightful risk, the Desperate Lark was empty, with an enemy no +more than ten knots astern, but it was a moment for bold measures and +Shard took the chance of being left without his ship in the heart of +Africa in the hope of being repaid by escaping altogether. +</P> + +<P> +The men worked all night on those twenty trees, those that had no axes +bored with bradawls and blasted, and then relieved those that had. +</P> + +<P> +Shard was indefatigable, he went from tree to tree showing exactly +what way every one was to fall, and what was to be done with them when +they were down. Some had to be cut down because their branches would +get in the way of the masts, others because their trunks would be in +the way of the wheels; in the case of the last the stumps had to be +made smooth and low with saws and perhaps a bit of the trunk sawn off +and rolled away. This was the hardest work they had. And they were all +large trees, on the other hand had they been small there would have +been many more of them and they could not have sailed in and out, +sometimes for hundreds of yards, without cutting any at all: and all +this Shard calculated on doing if only there was time. +</P> + +<P> +The light before dawn came and it looked as if they would never do it +at all. And then dawn came and it was all done but one tree, the hard +part of the work had all been done in the night and a sort of final +rush cleared everything up except that one huge tree. And then the +cutter signalled the Arabs were moving. At dawn they had prayed, and +now they had struck their camp. Shard at once ordered all his men to +the ship except ten whom he left at the tree, they had some way to go +and the Arabs had been moving some ten minutes before they got there. +Shard took in the cutter which wasted five minutes, hoisted sail +short-handed and that took five minutes more, and slowly got under +way. +</P> + +<P> +The wind was dropping still and by the time the Desperate Lark had +come to the edge of that part of the forest through which Shard had +laid his course the Arabs were no more than five knots away. He had +sailed East half a mile, which he ought to have done overnight so as +to be ready, but he could not spare time or thought or men away from +those twenty trees. Then Shard turned into the forest and the Arabs +were dead astern. They hurried when they saw the Desperate Lark enter +the forest. +</P> + +<P> +"Doing ten knots," said Shard as he watched them from the deck. The +Desperate Lark was doing no more than a knot and a half for the wind +was weak under the lee of the trees. Yet all went well for a while. +The big tree had just come down some way ahead, and the ten men were +sawing bits off the trunk. +</P> + +<P> +And then Shard saw a branch that he had not marked on the chart, it +would just catch the top of the mainmast. He anchored at once and sent +a hand aloft who sawed it half way through and did the rest with a +pistol, and now the Arabs were only three knots astern. For a quarter +of a mile Shard steered them through the forest till they came to the +ten men and that bad big tree, another foot had yet to come off one +corner of the stump for the wheels had to pass over it. Shard turned +all hands on to the stump and it was then that the Arabs came within +shot. But they had to unpack their gun. And before they had it mounted +Shard was away. If they had charged things might have been different. +When they saw the Desperate Lark under way again the Arabs came on to +within three hundred yards and there they mounted two guns. Shard +watched them along his stern gun but would not fire. They were six +hundred yards away before the Arabs could fire and then they fired too +soon and both guns missed. And Shard and his merry men saw clear water +only ten fathoms ahead. Then Shard loaded his stern gun with canister +instead of shot and at the same moment the Arabs charged on their +camels; they came galloping down through the forest waving long +lances. Shard left the steering to Smerdrak and stood by the stern +gun, the Arabs were within fifty yards and still Shard did not fire; +he had most of his men in the stern with muskets beside him. Those +lances carried on camels were altogether different from swords in the +hands of horsemen, they could reach the men on deck. The men could see +the horrible barbs on the lanceheads, they were almost at their faces +when Shard fired, and at the same moment the Desperate Lark with her +dry and suncracked keel in air on the high bank of the Niger fell +forward like a diver. The gun went off through the tree-tops, a wave +came over the bows and swept the stern, the Desperate Lark wriggled +and righted herself, she was back in her element. +</P> + +<P> +The merry men looked at the wet decks and at their dripping clothes. +"Water," they said almost wonderingly. +</P> + +<P> +The Arabs followed a little way through the forest but when they saw +that they had to face a broadside instead of one stern gun and +perceived that a ship afloat is less vulnerable to cavalry even than +when on shore, they abandoned ideas of revenge, and comforted +themselves with a text out of their sacred book which tells how in +other days and other places our enemies shall suffer even as we +desire. +</P> + +<P> +For a thousand miles with the flow of the Niger and the help of +occasional winds, the Desperate Lark moved seawards. At first he +sweeps East a little and then Southwards, till you come to Akassa and +the open sea. +</P> + +<P> +I will not tell you how they caught fish and ducks, raided a village +here and there and at last came to Akassa, for I have said much +already of Captain Shard. Imagine them drawing nearer and nearer the +sea, bad men all, and yet with a feeling for something where we feel +for our king, our country or our home, a feeling for something that +burned in them not less ardently than our feelings in us, and that +something the sea. Imagine them nearing it till sea birds appeared and +they fancied they felt sea breezes and all sang songs again that they +had not sung for weeks. Imagine them heaving at last on the salt +Atlantic again. +</P> + +<P> +I have said much already of Captain Shard and I fear lest I shall +weary you, O my reader, if I tell you any more of so bad a man. I too +at the top of a tower all alone am weary. +</P> + +<P> +And yet it is right that such a tale should be told. A journey almost +due South from near Algiers to Akassa in a ship that we should call no +more than a yacht. Let it be a stimulus to younger men. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="guarantee"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> + Guarantee To The Reader<BR> +</H3> + +<P> +Since writing down for your benefit, O my reader, all this long tale +that I heard in the tavern by the sea I have travelled in Algeria and +Tunisia as well as in the Desert. Much that I saw in those countries +seems to throw doubt on the tale that the sailor told me. To begin +with the Desert does not come within hundreds of miles of the coast +and there are more mountains to cross than you would suppose, the +Atlas mountains in particular. It is just possible Shard might have +got through by El Cantara, following the camel road which is many +centuries old; or he may have gone by Algiers and Bou Saada and +through the mountain pass El Finita Dem, though that is a bad enough +way for camels to go (let alone bullocks with a ship) for which reason +the Arabs call it Finita Dem—the Path of Blood. +</P> + +<P> +I should not have ventured to give this story the publicity of print +had the sailor been sober when he told it, for fear that he I should +have deceived you, O my reader; but this was never the case with him +as I took good care to ensure: "in vino veritas" is a sound old +proverb, and I never had cause to doubt his word unless that proverb +lies. +</P> + +<P> +If it should prove that he has deceived me, let it pass; but if he has +been the means of deceiving you there are little things about him that +I know, the common gossip of that ancient tavern whose leaded +bottle-glass windows watch the sea, which I will tell at once to every +judge of my acquaintance, and it will be a pretty race to see which of +them will hang him. +</P> + +<P> +Meanwhile, O my reader, believe the story, resting assured that if you +are taken in the thing shall be a matter for the hangman. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="equator"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A Tale of the Equator +</H3> + +<P> +He who is Sultan so remote to the East that his dominions were deemed +fabulous in Babylon, whose name is a by-word for distance today in the +streets of Bagdad, whose capital bearded travellers invoke by name in +the gate at evening to gather hearers to their tales when the smoke of +tobacco arises, dice rattle and taverns shine; even he in that very +city made mandate, and said: "Let there be brought hither all my +learned men that they may come before me and rejoice my heart with +learning." +</P> + +<P> +Men ran and clarions sounded, and it was so that there came before the +Sultan all of his learned men. And many were found wanting. But of +those that were able to say acceptable things, ever after to be named +The Fortunate, one said that to the South of the Earth lay a Land— +said Land was crowned with lotus—where it was summer in our winter +days and where it was winter in summer. +</P> + +<P> +And when the Sultan of those most distant lands knew that the Creator +of All had contrived a device so vastly to his delight his merriment +knew no bounds. On a sudden he spake and said, and this was the gist +of his saying, that upon that line of boundary or limit that divided +the North from the South a palace be made, where in the Northern +courts should summer be, while in the South was winter; so should he +move from court to court according to his mood, and dally with the +summer in the morning and spend the noon with snow. So the Sultan's +poets were sent for and bade to tell of that city, foreseeing its +splendour far away to the South and in the future of time; and some +were found fortunate. And of those that were found fortunate and were +crowned with flowers none earned more easily the Sultan's smile (on +which long days depended) than he that foreseeing the city spake of it +thus: +</P> + +<P> +"In seven years and seven days, O Prop of Heaven, shall thy builders +build it, thy palace that is neither North nor South, where neither +summer nor winter is sole lord of the hours. White I see it, very +vast, as a city, very fair, as a woman, Earth's wonder, with many +windows, with thy princesses peering out at twilight; yea, I behold +the bliss of the gold balconies, and hear a rustling down long +galleries and the doves' coo upon its sculptured eaves. O Prop of +Heaven, would that so fair a city were built by thine ancient sires, +the children of the sun, that so might all men see it even today, and +not the poets only, whose vision sees it so far away to the South and +in the future of time. +</P> + +<P> +"O King of the Years, it shall stand midmost on that line that +divideth equally the North from the South and that parteth the seasons +asunder as with a screen. On the Northern side when summer is in the +North thy silken guards shall pace by dazzling walls while thy +spearsmen clad in furs go round the South. But at the hour of noon in +the midmost day of the year thy chamberlain shall go down from his +high place and into the midmost court, and men with trumpets shall go +down behind him, and he shall utter a great cry at noon, and the men +with trumpets shall cause their trumpets to blare, and the spearsmen +clad in furs shall march to the North and thy silken guard shall take +their place in the South, and summer shall leave the North and go to +the South, and all the swallows shall rise and follow after. And alone +in thine inner courts shall no change be, for they shall lie narrowly +along that line that parteth the seasons in sunder and divideth the +North from the South, and thy long gardens shall lie under them. +</P> + +<P> +"And in thy gardens shall spring always be, for spring lies ever at +the marge of summer; and autumn also shall always tint thy gardens, +for autumn always flares at winter's edge, and those gardens shall lie +apart between winter and summer. And there shall be orchards in thy +garden, too, with all the burden of autumn on their boughs and all the +blossom of spring. +</P> + +<P> +"Yea, I behold this palace, for we see future things; I see its white +wall shine in the huge glare of midsummer, and the lizards lying along +it motionless in the sun, and men asleep in the noonday, and the +butterflies floating by, and birds of radiant plumage chasing +marvellous moths; far off the forest and great orchids glorying there, +and iridescent insects dancing round in the light. I see the wall upon +the other side; the snow has come upon the battlements, the icicles +have fringed them like frozen beards, a wild wind blowing out of +lonely places and crying to the cold fields as it blows has sent the +snowdrifts higher than the buttresses; they that look out through +windows on that side of thy palace see the wild geese flying low and +all the birds of the winter, going by swift in packs beat low by the +bitter wind, and the clouds above them are black, for it is midwinter +there; while in thine other courts the fountains tinkle, falling on +marble warmed by the fire of the summer sun. +</P> + +<P> +"Such, O King of the Years, shall thy palace be, and its name shall be +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder; and thy wisdom shall bid thine +architects build at once, that all may see what as yet the poets see +only, and that prophecy be fulfilled." +</P> + +<P> +And when the poet ceased the Sultan spake, and said, as all men +hearkened with bent heads: +</P> + +<P> +"It will be unnecessary for my builders to build this palace, +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder, for in hearing thee we have drunk +already its pleasures." +</P> + +<P> +And the poet went forth from the Presence and dreamed a new thing. +</P> + +<P CLASS="noindent" ALIGN="center"> +<SPAN STYLE="letter-spacing: 4em">*****</SPAN><BR> +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="escape"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +A Narrow Escape +</H3> + +<P> +It was underground. +</P> + +<P> +In that dank cavern down below Belgrave Square the walls were +dripping. But what was that to the magician? It was secrecy that he +needed, not dryness. There he pondered upon the trend of events, +shaped destinies and concocted magical brews. +</P> + +<P> +For the last few years the serenity of his ponderings had been +disturbed by the noise of the motor-bus; while to his keen ears there +came the earthquake-rumble, far off, of the train in the tube, going +down Sloane Street; and when he heard of the world above his head was +not to its credit. +</P> + +<P> +He decided one evening over his evil pipe, down there in his dank +chamber, that London had lived long enough, had abused its +opportunities, had gone too far, in fine, with its civilisation. And +so he decided to wreck it. +</P> + +<P> +Therefore he beckoned up his acolyte from the weedy end of the cavern, +and, "Bring me," he said, "the heart of the toad that dwelleth in +Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." The acolyte slipped away by +the hidden door, leaving that grim old man with his frightful pipe, +and whither he went who knows but the gipsy people, or by what path he +returned; but within a year he stood in the cavern again, slipping +secretly in by the trap while the old man smoked, and he brought with +him a little fleshy thing that rotted in a casket of pure gold. +</P> + +<P> +"What is it?" the old man croaked. +</P> + +<P> +"It is," said the acolyte, "the heart of the toad that dwelt once in +Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." +</P> + +<P> +The old man's crooked fingers closed on it, and he blessed the acolyte +with his rasping voice and claw-like hand uplifted; the motor-bus +rumbled above on its endless journey; far off the train shook Sloane +Street. +</P> + +<P> +"Come," said the old magician, "it is time." And there and then they +left the weedy cavern, the acolyte carrying cauldron, gold poker and +all things needful, and went abroad in the light. And very wonderful +the old man looked in his silks. +</P> + +<P> +Their goal was the outskirts of London; the old man strode in front +and the acolyte ran behind him, and there was something magical in the +old man's stride alone, without his wonderful dress, the cauldron and +wand, the hurrying acolyte and the small gold poker. +</P> + +<P> +Little boys jeered till they caught the old man's eye. So there went +on through London this strange procession of two, too swift for any to +follow. Things seemed worse up there than they did in the cavern, and +the further they got on their way towards London's outskirts the worse +London got. "It is time," said the old man, "surely." +</P> + +<P> +And so they came at last to London's edge and a small hill watching it +with a mournful look. It was so mean that the acolyte longed for the +cavern, dank though it was and full of terrible sayings that the old +man said when he slept. +</P> + +<P> +They climbed the hill and put the cauldron down, and put there in the +necessary things, and lit a fire of herbs that no chemist will sell +nor decent gardener grow, and stirred the cauldron with the golden +poker. The magician retired a little apart and muttered, then he +strode back to the cauldron and, all being ready, suddenly opened the +casket and let the fleshy thing fall in to boil. +</P> + +<P> +Then he made spells, then he flung up his arms; the fumes from the +cauldron entering in at his mind he said raging things that he had not +known before and runes that were dreadful (the acolyte screamed); +there he cursed London from fog to loam-pit, from zenith to the abyss, +motor-bus, factory, shop, parliament, people. "Let them all perish," +he said, "and London pass away, tram lines and bricks and pavement, +the usurpers too long of the fields, let them all pass away and the +wild hares come back, blackberry and briar-rose." +</P> + +<P> +"Let it pass," he said, "pass now, pass utterly." +</P> + +<P> +In the momentary silence the old man coughed, then waited with eager +eyes; and the long long hum of London hummed as it always has since +first the reed-huts were set up by the river, changing its note at +times but always humming, louder now than it was in years gone by, but +humming night and day though its voice be cracked with age; so it +hummed on. +</P> + +<P> +And the old man turned him round to his trembling acolyte and terribly +said as he sank into the earth: "YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT ME THE HEART +OF THE TOAD THAT DWELLETH IN ARABIA NOR BY THE MOUNTAINS OF +BETHANY!" +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="tower"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Watch-tower +</H3> + +<P> +I sat one April in Provence on a small hill above an ancient town that +Goth and Vandal as yet have forborne to "bring up to date." +</P> + +<P> +On the hill was an old worn castle with a watch-tower, and a well with +narrow steps and water in it still. +</P> + +<P> +The watch-tower, staring South with neglected windows, faced a broad +valley full of the pleasant twilight and the hum of evening things: it +saw the fires of wanderers blink from the hills, beyond them the long +forest black with pines, one star appearing, and darkness settling +slowly down on Var. +</P> + +<P> +Sitting there listening to the green frogs croaking, hearing far +voices clearly but all transmuted by evening, watching the windows in +the little town glimmering one by one, and seeing the gloaming dwindle +solemnly into night, a great many things fell from mind that seem +important by day, and evening in their place planted strange fancies. +</P> + +<P> +Little winds had arisen and were whispering to and fro, it grew cold, +and I was about to descend the hill, when I heard a voice behind me +saying, "Beware, beware." +</P> + +<P> +So much the voice appeared a part of the evening that I did not turn +round at first; it was like voices that one hears in sleep and thinks +to be of one's dream. And the word was monotonously repeated, in +French. +</P> + +<P> +When I turned round I saw an old man with a horn. He had a white beard +marvellously long, and still went on saying slowly, "Beware, beware." +He had clearly just come from the tower by which he stood, though I +had heard no footfall. Had a man come stealthily upon me at such an +hour and in so lonesome a place I had certainly felt surprised; but I +saw almost at once that he was a spirit, and he seemed with his +uncouth horn and his long white beard and that noiseless step of his +to be so native to that time and place that I spoke to him as one does +to some fellow-traveller who asks you if you mind having the window +up. +</P> + +<P> +I asked him what there was to beware of. +</P> + +<P> +"Of what should a town beware," he said, "but the Saracens?" +</P> + +<P> +"Saracens?" I said. +</P> + +<P> +"Yes, Saracens, Saracens," he answered and brandished his horn. +</P> + +<P> +"And who are you?" I said. +</P> + +<P> +"I, I am the spirit of the tower," he said. +</P> + +<P> +When I asked him how he came by so human an aspect and was so unlike +the material tower beside him he told me that the lives of all the +watchers who had ever held the horn in the tower there had gone to +make the spirit of the tower. "It takes a hundred lives," he said. +"None hold the horn of late and men neglect the tower. When the walls +are in ill repair the Saracens come: it was ever so." +</P> + +<P> +"The Saracens don't come nowadays," I said. +</P> + +<P> +But he was gazing past me watching, and did not seem to heed me. +</P> + +<P> +"They will run down those hills," he said, pointing away to the South, +"out of the woods about nightfall, and I shall blow my horn. The +people will all come up from the town to the tower again; but the +loopholes are in very ill repair." +</P> + +<P> +"We never hear of the Saracens now," I said. +</P> + +<P> +"Hear of the Saracens!" the old spirit said. "Hear of the Saracens! +They slip one evening out of that forest, in the long white robes that +they wear, and I blow my horn. That is the first that anyone ever +hears of the Saracens." +</P> + +<P> +"I mean," I said, "that they never come at all. They cannot come and +men fear other things." For I thought the old spirit might rest if he +knew that the Saracens can never come again. But he said, "There is +nothing in the world to fear but the Saracens. Nothing else matters. +How can men fear other things?" +</P> + +<P> +Then I explained, so that he might have rest, and told him how all +Europe, and in particular France, had terrible engines of war, both on +land and sea; and how the Saracens had not these terrible engines +either on sea or land, and so could by no means cross the +Mediterranean or escape destruction on shore even though they should +come there. I alluded to the European railways that could move armies +night and day faster than horses could gallop. And when as well as I +could I had explained all, he answered, "In time all these things pass +away and then there will still be the Saracens." +</P> + +<P> +And then I said, "There has not been a Saracen either in France or +Spain for over four hundred years." +</P> + +<P> +And he said, "The Saracens! You do not know their cunning. That was +ever the way of the Saracens. They do not come for a while, no not +they, for a long while, and then one day they come." +</P> + +<P> +And peering southwards, but not seeing clearly because of the rising +mist, he silently moved to his tower and up its broken steps. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="plash"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire +</H3> + +<P> +In a thatched cottage of enormous size, so vast that we might consider +it a palace, but only a cottage in the style of its building, its +timbers and the nature of its interior, there lived Plash-Goo. +</P> + +<P> +Plash-Goo was of the children of the giants, whose sire was Uph. And +the lineage of Uph had dwindled in bulk for the last five hundred +years, till the giants were now no more than fifteen foot high; but +Uph ate elephants which he caught with his hands. +</P> + +<P> +Now on the tops of the mountains above the house of Plash-Goo, for +Plash-Goo lived in the plains, there dwelt the dwarf whose name was +Lrippity-Kang. And the dwarf used to walk at evening on the edge of +the tops of the mountains, and would walk up and down along it, and +was squat and ugly and hairy, and was plainly seen of Plash-Goo. +</P> + +<P> +And for many weeks the giant had suffered the sight of him, but at +length grew irked at the sight (as men are by little things), and +could not sleep of a night and lost his taste for pigs. And at last +there came the day, as anyone might have known, when Plash-Goo +shouldered his club and went up to look for the dwarf. +</P> + +<P> +And the dwarf though briefly squat was broader than may be dreamed, +beyond all breadth of man, and stronger than men may know; strength in +its very essence dwelt in that little frame, as a spark in the heart +of a flint: but to Plash-Goo he was no more than mis-shapen, bearded +and squat, a thing that dared to defy all natural laws by being more +broad than long. +</P> + +<P> +When Plash-Goo came to the mountain he cast his chimahalk down (for so +he named the club of his heart's desire) lest the dwarf should defy +him with nimbleness; and stepped towards Lrippity-Kang with gripping +hands, who stopped in his mountainous walk without a word, and swung +round his hideous breadth to confront Plash-Goo. Already then +Plash-Goo in the deeps of his mind had seen himself seize the dwarf in +one large hand and hurl him with his beard and his hated breadth sheer +down the precipice that dropped away from that very place to the land +of None's Desire. Yet it was otherwise that Fate would have it. For +the dwarf parried with his little arms the grip of those monstrous +hands, and gradually working along the enormous limbs came at length +to the giant's body where by dwarfish cunning he obtained a grip; and +turning Plash-Goo about, as a spider does some great fly, till his +little grip was suitable to his purpose, he suddenly lifted the giant +over his head. Slowly at first, by the edge of that precipice whose +base sheer distance hid, he swung his giant victim round his head, but +soon faster and faster; and at last when Plash-Goo was streaming round +the hated breadth of the dwarf and the no less hated beard was +flapping in the wind, Lrippity-Kang let go. Plash-Goo shot over the +edge and for some way further, out towards Space, like a stone; then +he began to fall. It was long before he believed and truly knew that +this was really he that fell from this mountain, for we do not +associate such dooms with ourselves; but when he had fallen for some +while through the evening and saw below him, where there had been +nothing to see, or began to see, the glimmer of tiny fields, then his +optimism departed; till later on when the fields were greener and +larger he saw that this was indeed (and growing now terribly nearer) +that very land to which he had destined the dwarf. +</P> + +<P> +At last he saw it unmistakable, close, with its grim houses and its +dreadful ways, and its green fields shining in the light of the +evening. His cloak was streaming from him in whistling shreds. +</P> + +<P> +So Plash-Goo came to the Land of None's Desire. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="gambit"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Three Sailors' Gambit +</H3> + +<P> +Sitting some years ago in the ancient tavern at Over, one afternoon in +Spring, I was waiting, as was my custom, for something strange to +happen. In this I was not always disappointed for the very curious +leaded panes of that tavern, facing the sea, let a light into the +low-ceilinged room so mysterious, particularly at evening, that it +somehow seemed to affect the events within. Be that as it may, I have +seen strange things in that tavern and heard stranger things told. +</P> + +<P> +And as I sat there three sailors entered the tavern, just back, as +they said, from sea, and come with sunburned skins from a very long +voyage to the South; and one of them had a board and chessmen under +his arm, and they were complaining that they could find no one who +knew how to play chess. This was the year that the Tournament was in +England. And a little dark man at a table in a corner of the room, +drinking sugar and water, asked them why they wished to play chess; +and they said they would play any man for a pound. They opened their +box of chessmen then, a cheap and nasty set, and the man refused to +play with such uncouth pieces, and the sailors suggested that perhaps +he could find better ones; and in the end he went round to his +lodgings near by and brought his own, and then they sat down to play +for a pound a side. It was a consultation game on the part of the +sailors, they said that all three must play. +</P> + +<P> +Well, the little dark man turned out to be Stavlokratz. +</P> + +<P> +Of course he was fabulously poor, and the sovereign meant more to him +than it did to the sailors, but he didn't seem keen to play, it was +the sailors that insisted; he had made the badness of the sailors' +chessmen an excuse for not playing at all, but the sailors had +overruled that, and then he told them straight out who he was, and the +sailors had never heard of Stavlokratz. +</P> + +<P> +Well, no more was said after that. Stavlokratz said no more, either +because he did not wish to boast or because he was huffed that they +did not know who he was. And I saw no reason to enlighten the sailors +about him; if he took their pound they had brought it upon themselves, +and my boundless admiration for his genius made me feel that he +deserved whatever might come his way. He had not asked to play, they +had named the stakes, he had warned them, and gave them the first +move; there was nothing unfair about Stavlokratz. +</P> + +<P> +I had never seen Stavlokratz before, but I had played over nearly +every one of his games in the World Championship for the last three or +four years; he was always of course the model chosen by students. Only +young chess-players can appreciate my delight at seeing him play first +hand. +</P> + +<P> +Well, the sailors used to lower their heads almost as low as the table +and mutter together before every move, but they muttered so low that +you could not hear what they planned. +</P> + +<P> +They lost three pawns almost straight off, then a knight, and shortly +after a bishop; they were playing in fact the famous Three Sailors' +Gambit. +</P> + +<P> +Stavlokratz was playing with the easy confidence that they say was +usual with him, when suddenly at about the thirteenth move I saw him +look surprised; he leaned forward and looked at the board and then at +the sailors, but he learned nothing from their vacant faces; he looked +back at the board again. +</P> + +<P> +He moved more deliberately after that; the sailors lost two more +pawns, Stavlokratz had lost nothing as yet. He looked at me I thought +almost irritably, as though something would happen that he wished I +was not there to see. I believed at first that he had qualms about +taking the sailors' pound, until it dawned on me that he might lose +the game; I saw that possibility in his face, not on the board, for +the game had become almost incomprehensible to me. I cannot describe +my astonishment. And a few moves later Stavlokratz resigned. +</P> + +<P> +The sailors showed no more elation than if they had won some game with +greasy cards, playing amongst themselves. +</P> + +<P> +Stavlokratz asked them where they got their opening. "We kind of +thought of it," said one. "It just come into our heads like," said +another. He asked them questions about the ports they had touched at. +He evidently thought as I did myself that they had learned their +extraordinary gambit, perhaps in some old dependancy of Spain, from +some young master of chess whose fame had not reached Europe. He was +very eager to find out who this man could be, for neither of us +imagined that those sailors had invented it, nor would anyone who had +seen them. But he got no information from the sailors. +</P> + +<P> +Stavlokratz could very ill afford the loss of a pound. He offered to +play them again for the same stakes. The sailors began to set up the +white pieces. Stavlokratz pointed out that it was his turn for the +first move. The sailors agreed but continued to set up the white +pieces and sat with the white before them waiting for him to move. It +was a trivial incident, but it revealed to Stavlokratz and myself that +none of these sailors was aware that white always moves first. +</P> + +<P> +Stavlokratz played them on his own opening, reasoning of course that +as they had never heard of Stavlokratz they would not know of his +opening; and with probably a very good hope of getting back his pound +he played the fifth variation with its tricky seventh move, at least +so he intended, but it turned to a variation unknown to the students +of Stavlokratz. +</P> + +<P> +Throughout this game I watched the sailors closely, and I became sure, +as only an attentive watcher can be, that the one on their left, Jim +Bunion, did not even know the moves. +</P> + +<P> +When I had made up my mind about this I watched only the other two, +Adam Bailey and Bill Sloggs, trying to make out which was the master +mind; and for a long while I could not. And then I heard Adam Bailey +mutter six words, the only words I heard throughout the game, of all +their consultations, "No, him with the horse's head." And I decided +that Adam Bailey did not know what a knight was, though of course he +might have been explaining things to Bill Sloggs, but it did not sound +like that; so that left Bill Sloggs. I watched Bill Sloggs after that +with a certain wonder; he was no more intellectual than the others to +look at, though rather more forceful perhaps. Poor old Stavlokratz was +beaten again. +</P> + +<P> +Well, in the end I paid for Stavlokratz, and tried to get a game with +Bill Sloggs alone, but this he would not agree to, it must be all +three or none: and then I went back with Stavlokratz to his lodgings. +He very kindly gave me a game: of course it did not last long but I am +prouder of having been beaten by Stavlokratz than of any game that I +have ever won. And then we talked for an hour about the sailors, and +neither of us could make head or tail of them. I told him what I had +noticed about Jim Bunion and Adam Bailey, and he agreed with me that +Bill Sloggs was the man, though as to how he had come by that gambit +or that variation of Stavlokratz's own opening he had no theory. +</P> + +<P> +I had the sailors' address which was that tavern as much as anywhere, +and they were to be there all evening. As evening drew in I went back +to the tavern, and found there still the three sailors. And I offered +Bill Sloggs two pounds for a game with him alone and he refused, but +in the end he played me for a drink. And then I found that he had not +heard of the "en passant" rule, and believed that the fact of checking +the king prevented him from castling, and did not know that a player +can have two or more queens on the board at the same time if he queens +his pawns, or that a pawn could ever become a knight; and he made as +many of the stock mistakes as he had time for in a short game, which I +won. I thought that I should have got at the secret then, but his +mates who had sat scowling all the while in the corner came up and +interfered. It was a breach of their compact apparently for one to +play by himself, at any rate they seemed angry. So I left the tavern +then and came back again next day, and the next day and the day after, +and often saw the sailors, but none were in a communicative mood. I +had got Stavlokratz to keep away, and they could get no one to play +chess with at a pound a side, and I would not play with them unless +they told me the secret. +</P> + +<P> +And then one evening I found Jim Bunion drunk, yet not so drunk as he +wished, for the two pounds were spent; and I gave him very nearly a +tumbler of whiskey, or what passed for whiskey in that tavern at Over, +and he told me the secret at once. I had given the others some whiskey +to keep them quiet, and later on in the evening they must have gone +out, but Jim Bunion stayed with me by a little table leaning across it +and talking low, right into my face, his breath smelling all the while +of what passed for whiskey. +</P> + +<P> +The wind was blowing outside as it does on bad nights in November, +coming up with moans from the South, towards which the tavern faced +with all its leaded panes, so that none but I was able to hear his +voice as Jim Bunion gave up his secret. They had sailed for years, he +told me, with Bill Snyth; and on their last voyage home Bill Snyth had +died. And he was buried at sea. Just the other side of the line they +buried him, and his pals divided his kit, and these three got his +crystal that only they knew he had, which Bill got one night in Cuba. +They played chess with the crystal. +</P> + +<P> +And he was going on to tell me about that night in Cuba when Bill had +bought the crystal from the stranger, how some folks might think they +had seen thunderstorms, but let them go and listen to that one that +thundered in Cuba when Bill was buying his crystal and they'd find +that they didn't know what thunder was. But then I interrupted him, +unfortunately perhaps, for it broke the thread of his tale and set him +rambling a while, and cursing other people and talking of other lands, +China, Port Said and Spain: but I brought him back to Cuba again in +the end. I asked him how they could play chess with a crystal; and he +said that you looked at the board and looked at the crystal, and there +was the game in the crystal the same as it was on the board, with all +the odd little pieces looking just the same though smaller, horses' +heads and whatnots; and as soon as the other man moved the move came +out in the crystal, and then your move appeared after it, and all you +had to do was to make it on the board. If you didn't make the move +that you saw in the crystal things got very bad in it, everything +horribly mixed and moving about rapidly, and scowling and making the +same move over and over again, and the crystal getting cloudier and +cloudier; it was best to take one's eyes away from it then, or one +dreamt about it afterwards, and the foul little pieces came and cursed +you in your sleep and moved about all night with their crooked moves. +</P> + +<P> +I thought then that, drunk though he was, he was not telling the +truth, and I promised to show him to people who played chess all their +lives so that he and his mates could get a pound whenever they liked, +and I promised not to reveal his secret even to Stavlokratz, if only +he would tell me all the truth; and this promise I have kept till long +after the three sailors have lost their secret. I told him straight +out that I did not believe in the crystal. Well, Jim Bunion leaned +forward then, even further across the table, and swore he had seen the +man from whom Bill had bought the crystal and that he was one to whom +anything was possible. To begin with his hair was villainously dark, +and his features were unmistakable even down there in the South, and +he could play chess with his eyes shut, and even then he could beat +anyone in Cuba. But there was more than this, there was the bargain he +made with Bill that told one who he was. He sold that crystal for Bill +Snyth's soul. +</P> + +<P> +Jim Bunion leaning over the table with his breath in my face nodded +his head several times and was silent. +</P> + +<P> +I began to question him then. Did they play chess as far away as Cuba? +He said they all did. Was it conceivable that any man would make such +a bargain as Snyth made? Wasn't the trick well known? Wasn't it in +hundreds of books? And if he couldn't read books mustn't he have heard +from sailors that it is the Devil's commonest dodge to get souls from +silly people? +</P> + +<P> +Jim Bunion had leant back in his own chair quietly smiling at my +questions but when I mentioned silly people he leaned forward again, +and thrust his face close to mine and asked me several times if I +called Bill Snyth silly. It seemed that these three sailors thought a +great deal of Bill Snyth and it made Jim Bunion angry to hear anything +said against him. I hastened to say that the bargain seemed silly +though not of course the man who made it; for the sailor was almost +threatening, and no wonder for the whiskey in that dim tavern would +madden a nun. +</P> + +<P> +When I said that the bargain seemed silly he smiled again, and then he +thundered his fist down on the table and said that no one had ever yet +got the best of Bill Snyth and that that was the worst bargain for +himself that the Devil ever made, and that from all he had read or +heard of the Devil he had never been so badly had before as the night +when he met Bill Snyth at the inn in the thunderstorm in Cuba, for +Bill Snyth already had the damndest soul at sea; Bill was a good +fellow, but his soul was damned right enough, so he got the crystal +for nothing. +</P> + +<P> +Yes, he was there and saw it all himself, Bill Snyth in the Spanish +inn and the candles flaring, and the Devil walking in and out of the +rain, and then the bargain between those two old hands, and the Devil +going out into the lightning, and the thunderstorm raging on, and Bill +Snyth sitting chuckling to himself between the bursts of the thunder. +</P> + +<P> +But I had more questions to ask and interrupted this reminiscence. Why +did they all three always play together? And a look of something like +fear came over Jim Bunion's face; and at first he would not speak. And +then he said to me that it was like this; they had not paid for that +crystal, but got it as their share of Bill Snyth's kit. If they had +paid for it or given something in exchange to Bill Snyth that would +have been all right, but they couldn't do that now because Bill was +dead, and they were not sure if the old bargain might not hold good. +And Hell must be a large and lonely place, and to go there alone must +be bad, and so the three agreed that they would all stick together, +and use the crystal all three or not at all, unless one died, and then +the two would use it and the one that was gone would wait for them. +And the last of the three to go would take the crystal with him, or +maybe the crystal would bring him. They didn't think, they said, they +were the kind of men for Heaven, and he hoped they knew their place +better than that, but they didn't fancy the notion of Hell alone, if +Hell it had to be. It was all right for Bill Snyth, he was afraid of +nothing. He had known perhaps five men that were not afraid of death, +but Bill Snyth was not afraid of Hell. He died with a smile on his +face like a child in its sleep; it was drink killed poor Bill Snyth. +</P> + +<P> +This was why I had beaten Bill Sloggs; Sloggs had the crystal on him +while we played, but would not use it; these sailors seemed to fear +loneliness as some people fear being hurt; he was the only one of the +three who could play chess at all, he had learnt it in order to be +able to answer questions and keep up their pretence, but he had learnt +it badly, as I found. I never saw the crystal, they never showed it to +anyone; but Jim Bunion told me that night that it was about the size +that the thick end of a hen's egg would be if it were round. And then +he fell asleep. +</P> + +<P> +There were many more questions that I would have asked him but I could +not wake him up. I even pulled the table away so that he fell to the +floor, but he slept on, and all the tavern was dark but for one candle +burning; and it was then that I noticed for the first time that the +other two sailors had gone, no one remained at all but Jim Bunion and +I and the sinister barman of that curious inn, and he too was asleep. +</P> + +<P> +When I saw that it was impossible to wake the sailor I went out into +the night. Next day Jim Bunion would talk of it no more; and when I +went back to Stavlokratz I found him already putting on paper his +theory about the sailors, which became accepted by chess-players, that +one of them had been taught their curious gambit and that the other +two between them had learnt all the defensive openings as well as +general play. Though who taught them no one could say, in spite of +enquiries made afterwards all along the Southern Pacific. +</P> + +<P> +I never learnt any more details from any of the three sailors, they +were always too drunk to speak or else not drunk enough to be +communicative. I seem just to have taken Jim Bunion at the flood. But +I kept my promise, it was I that introduced them to the Tournament, +and a pretty mess they made of established reputations. And so they +kept on for months, never losing a game and always playing for their +pound a side. I used to follow them wherever they went merely to watch +their play. They were more marvellous than Stavlokratz even in his +youth. +</P> + +<P> +But then they took to liberties such as giving their queen when +playing first-class players. And in the end one day when all three +were drunk they played the best player in England with only a row of +pawns. They won the game all right. But the ball broke to pieces. I +never smelt such a stench in all my life. +</P> + +<P> +The three sailors took it stoically enough, they signed on to +different ships and went back again to the sea, and the world of chess +lost sight, for ever I trust, of the most remarkable players it ever +knew, who would have altogether spoiled the game. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="exiles"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Exiles Club +</H3> + +<P> +It was an evening party; and something someone had said to me had +started me talking about a subject that to me is full of fascination, +the subject of old religions, forsaken gods. The truth (for all +religions have some of it), the wisdom, the beauty, of the religions +of countries to which I travel have not the same appeal for me; for +one only notices in them their tyranny and intolerance and the abject +servitude that they claim from thought; but when a dynasty has been +dethroned in heaven and goes forgotten and outcast even among men, +one's eyes no longer dazzled by its power find something very wistful +in the faces of fallen gods suppliant to be remembered, something +almost tearfully beautiful, like a long warm summer twilight fading +gently away after some day memorable in the story of earthly wars. +Between what Zeus, for instance, has been once and the half-remembered +tale he is today there lies a space so great that there is no change +of fortune known to man whereby we may measure the height down which +he has fallen. And it is the same with many another god at whom once +the ages trembled and the twentieth century treats as an old wives' +tale. The fortitude that such a fall demands is surely more than +human. +</P> + +<P> +Some such things as these I was saying, and being upon a subject that +much attracts me I possibly spoke too loudly, certainly I was not +aware that standing close behind me was no less a person than the +ex-King of Eritivaria, the thirty islands of the East, or I would have +moderated my voice and moved away a little to give him more room. I +was not aware of his presence until his satellite, one who had fallen +with him into exile but still revolved about him, told me that his +master desired to know me; and so to my surprise I was presented +though neither of them even knew my name. And that was how I came to +be invited by the ex-King to dine at his club. +</P> + +<P> +At the time I could only account for his wishing to know me by +supposing that he found in his own exiled condition some likeness to +the fallen fortunes of the gods of whom I talked unwitting of his +presence; but now I know that it was not of himself he was thinking +when he asked me to dine at that club. +</P> + +<P> +The club would have been the most imposing building in any street in +London, but in that obscure mean quarter of London in which they had +built it it appeared unduly enormous. Lifting right up above those +grotesque houses and built in that Greek style that we call Georgian, +there was something Olympian about it. To my host an unfashionable +street could have meant nothing, through all his youth wherever he had +gone had become fashionable the moment he went there; words like the +East End could have had no meaning to him. +</P> + +<P> +Whoever built that house had enormous wealth and cared nothing for +fashion, perhaps despised it. As I stood gazing at the magnificent +upper windows draped with great curtains, indistinct in the evening, +on which huge shadows flickered my host attracted my attention from +the doorway, and so I went in and met for the second time the ex-King +of Eritivaria. +</P> + +<P> +In front of us a stairway of rare marble led upwards, he took me +through a side-door and downstairs and we came to a banqueting-hall of +great magnificence. A long table ran up the middle of it, laid for +quite twenty people, and I noticed the peculiarity that instead of +chairs there were thrones for everyone except me, who was the only +guest and for whom there was an ordinary chair. My host explained to +me when we all sat down that everyone who belonged to that club was by +rights a king. +</P> + +<P> +In fact none was permitted, he told me, to belong to the club until +his claim to a kingdom made out in writing had been examined and +allowed by those whose duty it was. The whim of a populace or the +candidate's own misrule were never considered by the investigators, +nothing counted with them but heredity and lawful descent from kings, +all else was ignored. At that table there were those who had once +reigned themselves, others lawfully claimed descent from kings that +the world had forgotten, the kingdoms claimed by some had even changed +their names. Hatzgurh, the mountain kingdom, is almost regarded as +mythical. +</P> + +<P> +I have seldom seen greater splendour than that long hall provided +below the level of the street. No doubt by day it was a little sombre, +as all basements are, but at night with its great crystal chandeliers, +and the glitter of heirlooms that had gone into exile, it surpassed +the splendour of palaces that have only one king. They had come to +London suddenly most of those kings, or their fathers before them, or +forefathers; some had come away from their kingdoms by night, in a +light sleigh, flogging the horses, or had galloped clear with morning +over the border, some had trudged roads for days from their capital in +disguise, yet many had had time just as they left to snatch up some +small thing without price in markets, for the sake of old times as +they said, but quite as much, I thought, with an eye to the future. +And there these treasures glittered on that long table in the +banqueting-hall of the basement of that strange club. Merely to see +them was much, but to hear their story that their owners told was to +go back in fancy to epic times on the romantic border of fable and +fact, where the heroes of history fought with the gods of myth. The +famous silver horses of Gilgianza were there climbing their sheer +mountain, which they did by miraculous means before the time of the +Goths. It was not a large piece of silver but its workmanship +outrivalled the skill of the bees. +</P> + +<P> +A yellow Emperor had brought out of the East a piece of that +incomparable porcelain that had made his dynasty famous though all +their deeds are forgotten, it had the exact shade of the right purple. +</P> + +<P> +And there was a little golden statuette of a dragon stealing a diamond +from a lady, the dragon had the diamond in his claws, large and of the +first water. There had been a kingdom whose whole constitution and +history were founded on the legend, from which alone its kings had +claimed their right to the scepter, that a dragon stole a diamond from +a lady. When its last king left that country, because his favorite +general used a peculiar formation under the fire of artillery, he +brought with him the little ancient image that no longer proved him a +king outside that singular club. +</P> + +<P> +There was the pair of amethyst cups of the turbaned King of Foo, the +one that he drank from himself, and the one that he gave to his +enemies, eye could not tell which was which. +</P> + +<P> +All these things the ex-King of Eritivaria showed me, telling me a +marvelous tale of each; of his own he had brought nothing, except the +mascot that used once to sit on the top of the water tube of his +favorite motor. +</P> + +<P> +I have not outlined a tenth of the splendour of that table, I had +meant to come again and examine each piece of plate and make notes of +its history; had I known that this was the last time I should wish to +enter that club I should have looked at its treasures more +attentively, but now as the wine went round and the exiles began to +talk I took my eyes from the table and listened to strange tales of +their former state. +</P> + +<P> +He that has seen better times has usually a poor tale to tell, some +mean and trivial thing has been his undoing, but they that dined in +that basement had mostly fallen like oaks on nights of abnormal +tempest, had fallen mightily and shaken a nation. Those who had not +been kings themselves, but claimed through an exiled ancestor, had +stories to tell of even grander disaster, history seeming to have +mellowed their dynasty's fate as moss grows over an oak a great while +fallen. There were no jealousies there as so often there are among +kings, rivalry must have ceased with the loss of their navies and +armies, and they showed no bitterness against those that had turned +them out, one speaking of the error of his Prime Minister by which he +had lost his throne as "poor old Friedrich's Heaven-sent gift of +tactlessness." +</P> + +<P> +They gossiped pleasantly of many things, the tittle-tattle we all had +to know when we were learning history, and many a wonderful story I +might have heard, many a side light on mysterious wars had I not made +use of one unfortunate word. That word was "upstairs." +</P> + +<P> +The ex-King of Eritivaria having pointed out to me those unparalleled +heirlooms to which I have alluded, and many more besides, hospitably +asked me if there was anything else that I would care to see, he meant +the pieces of plate that they had in the cupboards, the curiously +graven swords of other princes, historic jewels, legendary seals, but +I who had had a glimpse of their marvelous staircase, whose balustrade +I believed to be solid gold and wondering why in such a stately house +they chose to dine in the basement, mentioned the word "upstairs." A +profound hush came down on the whole assembly, the hush that might +greet levity in a cathedral. +</P> + +<P> +"Upstairs!" he gasped. "We cannot go upstairs." +</P> + +<P> +I perceived that what I had said was an ill-chosen thing. I tried to +excuse myself but knew not how. +</P> + +<P> +"Of course," I muttered, "members may not take guests upstairs." +</P> + +<P> +"Members!" he said to me. "We are not the members!" +</P> + +<P> +There was such reproof in his voice that I said no more, I looked at +him questioningly, perhaps my lips moved, I may have said "What are +you?" A great surprise had come on me at their attitude. +</P> + +<P> +"We are the waiters," he said. +</P> + +<P> +That I could not have known, here at last was honest ignorance that I +had no need to be ashamed of, the very opulence of their table denied +it. +</P> + +<P> +"Then who are the members?" I asked. +</P> + +<P> +Such a hush fell at that question, such a hush of genuine awe, that +all of a sudden a wild thought entered my head, a thought strange and +fantastic and terrible. I gripped my host by the wrist and hushed my +voice. +</P> + +<P> +"Are they too exiles?" I asked. +</P> + +<P> +Twice as he looked in my face he gravely nodded his head. +</P> + +<P> +I left that club very swiftly indeed, never to see it again, scarcely +pausing to say farewell to those menial kings, and as I left the door +a great window opened far up at the top of the house and a flash of +lightning streamed from it and killed a dog. +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR> + +<A NAME="jokes"></A> +<H3 ALIGN="center"> +The Three Infernal Jokes +</H3> + +<P> +This is the story that the desolate man told to me on the lonely +Highland road one autumn evening with winter coming on and the stags +roaring. +</P> + +<P> +The saddening twilight, the mountain already black, the dreadful +melancholy of the stags' voices, his friendless mournful face, all +seemed to be of some most sorrowful play staged in that valley by an +outcast god, a lonely play of which the hills were part and he the +only actor. +</P> + +<P> +For long we watched each other drawing out of the solitudes of those +forsaken spaces. Then when we met he spoke. +</P> + +<P> +"I will tell you a thing that will make you die of laughter. I will +keep it to myself no longer. But first I must tell you how I came by +it." +</P> + +<P> +I do not give the story in his words with all his woeful interjections +and the misery of his frantic self-reproaches for I would not convey +unnecessarily to my readers that atmosphere of sadness that was about +all he said and that seemed to go with him where-ever he moved. +</P> + +<P> +It seems that he had been a member of a club, a West-end club he +called it, a respectable but quite inferior affair, probably in the +City: agents belonged to it, fire insurance mostly, but life insurance +and motor-agents too, it was in fact a touts' club. It seems that a +few of them one evening, forgetting for a moment their encyclopedias +and non-stop tyres, were talking loudly over a card-table when the +game had ended about their personal virtues, and a very little man +with waxed moustaches who disliked the taste of wine was boasting +heartily of his temperance. It was then that he who told this mournful +story, drawn on by the boasts of others, leaned forward a little over +the green baize into the light of the two guttering candles and +revealed, no doubt a little shyly, his own extraordinary virtue. One +woman was to him as ugly as another. +</P> + +<P> +And the silenced boasters rose and went home to bed leaving him all +alone, as he supposed, with his unequalled virtue. And yet he was not +alone, for when the rest had gone there arose a member out of a deep +arm-chair at the dark end of the room and walked across to him, a man +whose occupation he did not know and only now suspects. +</P> + +<P> +"You have," said the stranger, "a surpassing virtue." +</P> + +<P> +"I have no possible use for it," my poor friend replied. +</P> + +<P> +"Then doubtless you would sell it cheap," said the stranger. +</P> + +<P> +Something in the man's manner or appearance made the desolate teller +of this mournful tale feel his own inferiority, which probably made +him feel acutely shy, so that his mind abased itself as an Oriental +does his body in the presence of a superior, or perhaps he was sleepy, +or merely a little drunk. Whatever it was he only mumbled, "O yes," +instead of contradicting so mad a remark. And the stranger led the way +to the room where the telephone was. +</P> + +<P> +"I think you will find my firm will give a good price for it," he +said: and without more ado he began with a pair of pincers to cut the +wire of the telephone and the receiver. The old waiter who looked +after the club they had left shuffling round the other room putting +things away for the night. +</P> + +<P> +"Whatever are you doing of?" said my friend. +</P> + +<P> +"This way," said the stranger. Along a passage they went and away to +the back of the club and there the stranger leaned out of a window and +fastened the severed wires to the lightning conductor. My friend has +no doubt of that, a broad ribbon of copper, half an inch wide, perhaps +wider, running down from the roof to the earth. +</P> + +<P> +"Hell," said the stranger with his mouth to the telephone; then +silence for a while with his ear to the receiver, leaning out of the +window. And then my friend heard his poor virtue being several times +repeated, and then words like Yes and No. +</P> + +<P> +"They offer you three jokes," said the stranger, "which shall make all +who hear them simply die of laughter." +</P> + +<P> +I think my friend was reluctant then to have anything more to do with +it, he wanted to go home; he said he didn't want jokes. +</P> + +<P> +"They think very highly of your virtue," I said the stranger. And at +that, odd as it seems, my friend wavered, for logically if they +thought highly of the goods they should have paid a higher price. +</P> + +<P> +"O all right," he said. The extraordinary document that the agent drew +from his pocket ran something like this: +</P> + +<P> +"I . . . . . in consideration of three new jokes received from Mr. +Montagu-Montague, hereinafter to be called the agent, and warranted to +be as by him stated and described, do assign to him, yield, abrogate +and give up all recognitions, emoluments, perquisites or rewards due +to me Here or Elsewhere on account of the following virtue, to wit and +that is to say . . . . . that all women are to me equally ugly." The +last eight words being filled in in ink by Mr. Montagu-Montague. +</P> + +<P> +My poor friend duly signed it. "These are the jokes," said the agent. +They were boldly written on three slips of paper. "They don't seem +very funny," said the other when he had read them. "You are immune," +said Mr. Montagu-Montague, "but anyone else who hears them will simply +die of laughter: that we guarantee." +</P> + +<P> +An American firm had bought at the price of waste paper a hundred +thousand copies of The Dictionary of Electricity written when +electricity was new,—and it had turned out that even at the time its +author had not rightly grasped his subject,—the firm had paid +£10,000 to a respectable English paper (no other in fact than +the Briton) for the use of its name, and to obtain orders for The +Briton Dictionary of Electricity was the occupation of my unfortunate +friend. He seems to have had a way with him. Apparently he knew by a +glance at a man, or a look round at his garden, whether to recommend +the book as "an absolutely up-to-date achievement, the finest thing of +its kind in the world of modern science" or as "at once quaint and +imperfect, a thing to buy and to keep as a tribute to those dear old +times that are gone." So he went on with this quaint though usual +business, putting aside the memory of that night as an occasion on +which he had "somewhat exceeded" as they say in circles where a spade +is called neither a spade nor an agricultural implement but is never +mentioned at all, being altogether too vulgar. And then one night he +put on his suit of dress clothes and found the three jokes in the +pocket. That was perhaps a shock. He seems to have thought it over +carefully then, and the end of it was he gave a dinner at the club to +twenty of the members. The dinner would do no harm he thought—might +even help the business, and if the joke came off he would be a witty +fellow, and two jokes still up his sleeve. +</P> + +<P> +Whom he invited or how the dinner went I do not know for he began to +speak rapidly and came straight to the point, as a stick that nears a +cataract suddenly goes faster and faster. The dinner was duly served, +the port went round, the twenty men were smoking, two waiters +loitered, when he after carefully reading the best of the jokes told +it down the table. They laughed. One man accidentally inhaled his +cigar smoke and spluttered, the two waiters overheard and tittered +behind their hands, one man, a bit of a raconteur himself, quite +clearly wished not to laugh, but his veins swelled dangerously in +trying to keep it back, and in the end he laughed too. The joke had +succeeded; my friend smiled at the thought; he wished to say little +deprecating things to the man on his right; but the laughter did not +stop and the waiters would not be silent. He waited, and waited +wondering; the laughter went roaring on, distinctly louder now, and +the waiters as loud as any. It had gone on for three or four minutes +when this frightful thought leaped up all at once in his mind: <I>it was +forced laughter!</I> However could anything have induced him to tell so +foolish a joke? He saw its absurdity as in revelation; and the more he +thought of it as these people laughed at him, even the waiters too, +the more he felt that he could never lift up his head with his brother +touts again. And still the laughter went roaring and choking on. He +was very angry. There was not much use in having a friend, he thought, +if one silly joke could not be overlooked; he had fed them too. And +then he felt that he had no friends at all, and his anger faded away, +and a great unhappiness came down on him, and he got quietly up and +slunk from the room and slipped away from the club. Poor man, he +scarcely had the heart next morning even to glance at the papers, but +you did not need to glance at them, big type was bandied about that +day as though it were common type, the words of the headlines stared +at you; and the headlines said:—Twenty-Two Dead Men at a Club. +</P> + +<P> +Yes, he saw it then: the laughter had not stopped, some had probably +burst blood vessels, some must have choked, some succumbed to nausea, +heart-failure must have mercifully taken some, and they were his +friends after all, and none had escaped, not I even the waiters. It +was that infernal joke. +</P> + +<P> +He thought out swiftly, and remembers clear as a nightmare, the drive +to Victoria Station, the boat-train to Dover and going disguised to +the boat: and on the boat pleasantly smiling, almost obsequious, two +constables that wished to speak for a moment with Mr. Watkyn-Jones. +That was his name. +</P> + +<P> +In a third-class carriage with handcuffs on his wrists, with forced +conversation when any, he returned between his captors to Victoria to +be tried for murder at the High Court of Bow. +</P> + +<P> +At the trial he was defended by a young barrister of considerable +ability who had gone into the Cabinet in order to enhance his forensic +reputation. And he was ably defended. It is no exaggeration to say +that the speech for the defence showed it to be usual, even natural +and right, to give a dinner to twenty men and to slip away without +ever saying a word, leaving all, with the waiters, dead. That was the +impression left in the minds of the jury. And Mr. Watkyn-Jones felt +himself practically free, with all the advantages of his awful +experience, and his two jokes intact. But lawyers are still +experimenting with the new act which allows a prisoner to give +evidence. They do not like to make no use of it for fear they may be +thought not to know of the act, and a lawyer who is not in touch with +the very latest laws is soon regarded as not being up to date and he +may drop as much as £50,000 a year in fees. And therefore though +it always hangs their clients they hardly like to neglect it. +</P> + +<P> +Mr. Watkyn-Jones was put in the witness box. There he told the simple +truth, and a very poor affair it seemed after the impassioned and +beautiful things that were uttered by the counsel for the defence. Men +and women had wept when they heard that. They did not weep when they +heard Watkyn-Jones. Some tittered. It no longer seemed a right and +natural thing to leave one's guests all dead and to fly the country. +Where was Justice, they asked, if anyone could do that? And when his +story was told the judge rather happily asked if he could make him die +of laughter too. And what was the joke? For in so grave a place as a +Court of Justice no fatal effects need be feared. And hesitatingly the +prisoner pulled from his pocket the three slips of paper: and +perceived for the first time that the one on which the first and best +joke had been written had become quite blank. Yet he could remember +it, and only too clearly. And he told it from memory to the Court. +</P> + +<P> +"An Irishman once on being asked by his master to buy a morning paper +said in his usual witty way, 'Arrah and begorrah and I will be after +wishing you the top of the morning.'" +</P> + +<P> +No joke sounds quite so good the second time it is told, it seems to +lose something of its essence, but Watkyn-Jones was not prepared for +the awful stillness with which this one was received; nobody smiled; +and it had killed twenty-two men. The joke was bad, devilish bad; +counsel for the defence was frowning, and an usher was looking in a +little bag for something the judge wanted. And at this moment, as +though from far away, without his wishing it, there entered the +prisoner's head, and shone there and would not go, this old bad +proverb: "As well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb." The jury seemed +to be just about to retire. "I have another joke," said Watkyn-Jones, +and then and there he read from the second slip of paper. He watched +the paper curiously to see if it would go blank, occupying his mind +with so slight a thing as men in dire distress very often do, and the +words were almost immediately expunged, swept swiftly as if by a hand, +and he saw the paper before him as blank as the first. And they were +laughing this time, judge, jury, counsel for the prosecution, audience +and all, and the grim men that watched him upon either side. There was +no mistake about this joke. +</P> + +<P> +He did not stay to see the end, and walked out with his eyes fixed on +the ground, unable to bear a glance to the right or left. And since +then he has wandered, avoiding ports and roaming lonely places. Two +years have known him on the Highland roads, often hungry, always +friendless, always changing his district, wandering lonely on with his +deadly joke. +</P> + +<P> +Sometimes for a moment he will enter inns, driven by cold and hunger, +and hear men in the evening telling jokes and even challenging him; +but he sits desolate and silent, lest his only weapon should escape +from him and his last joke spread mourning in a hundred cots. His +beard has grown and turned grey and is mixed with moss and weeds, so +that no one, I think, not even the police, would recognise him now for +that dapper tout that sold The Briton Dictionary of Electricity in +such a different land. +</P> + +<P> +He paused, his story told, and then his lip quivered as though he +would say more, and I believe he intended then and there to yield up +his deadly joke on that Highland road and to go forth then with his +three blank slips of paper, perhaps to a felon's cell, with one more +murder added to his crimes, but harmless at last to man. I therefore +hurried on, and only heard him mumbling sadly behind me, standing +bowed and broken, all alone in the twilight, perhaps telling over and +over even then the last infernal joke. +</P> + +<BR><BR> + +<P CLASS="finis"> + THE END<BR> +</P> + +<BR><BR><BR><BR> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Tales of Wonder, by +Baron Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett Dunsany + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF WONDER *** + +***** This file should be named 13821-h.htm or 13821-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/8/2/13821/ + +Produced by Tom Harris. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Tales of Wonder + +Author: Baron Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett Dunsany + +Posting Date: December 12, 2010 [EBook #13821] +Release Date: October 21, 2004 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF WONDER *** + + + + +Produced by Tom Harris. HTML version by Al Haines. + + + + + + + + + +TALES OF WONDER + +by Lord Dunsany + + + + + A Tale of London + Thirteen at Table + The City on Mallington Moor + Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn + The Bad Old Woman in Black + The Bird of the Difficult Eye + The Long Porter's Tale + The Loot of Loma + The Secret of the Sea + How Ali Came to the Black Country + The Bureau d'Echange de Maux + A Story of Land and Sea + + Guarantee To The Reader + + A Tale of the Equator + A Narrow Escape + The Watch-tower + How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire + The Three Sailors' Gambit + The Exiles Club + The Three Infernal Jokes + + + + +Preface + + Ebrington Barracks + + Aug. 16th 1916. + +I do not know where I may be when this preface is read. As I write it +in August 1916, I am at Ebrington Barracks, Londonderry, recovering +from a slight wound. But it does not greatly matter where I am; my +dreams are here before you amongst the following pages; and writing in +a day when life is cheap, dreams seem to me all the dearer, the only +things that survive. + +Just now the civilization of Europe seems almost to have ceased, and +nothing seems to grow in her torn fields but death, yet this is only +for a while and dreams will come back again and bloom as of old, all +the more radiantly for this terrible ploughing, as the flowers will +bloom again where the trenches are and the primroses shelter in +shell-holes for many seasons, when weeping Liberty has come home to +Flanders. + +To some of you in America this may seem an unnecessary and wasteful +quarrel, as other people's quarrels often are; but it comes to this +that though we are all killed there will be songs again, but if we +were to submit and so survive there could be neither songs nor dreams, +nor any joyous free things any more. + +And do not regret the lives that are wasted amongst us, or the work +that the dead would have done, for war is no accident that man's care +could have averted, but is as natural, though not as regular, as the +tides; as well regret the things that the tide has washed away, which +destroys and cleanses and crumbles, and spares the minutest shells. + +And now I will write nothing further about our war, but offer you +these books of dreams from Europe as one throws things of value, if +only to oneself, at the last moment out of a burning house. + + DUNSANY. + + + + + +A Tale of London + +"Come," said the Sultan to his hasheesh-eater in the very furthest +lands that know Bagdad, "dream to me now of London." + +And the hasheesh-eater made a low obeisance and seated himself +cross-legged upon a purple cushion broidered with golden poppies, on +the floor, beside an ivory bowl where the hasheesh was, and having +eaten liberally of the hasheesh blinked seven times and spoke thus: + +"O Friend of God, know then that London is the desiderate town even of +all Earth's cities. Its houses are of ebony and cedar which they roof +with thin copper plates that the hand of Time turns green. They have +golden balconies in which amethysts are where they sit and watch the +sunset. Musicians in the gloaming steal softly along the ways; unheard +their feet fall on the white sea-sand with which those ways are +strewn, and in the darkness suddenly they play on dulcimers and +instruments with strings. Then are there murmurs in the balconies +praising their skill, then are there bracelets cast down to them for +reward and golden necklaces and even pearls. + +"Indeed but the city is fair; there is by the sandy ways a paving all +alabaster, and the lanterns along it are of chrysoprase, all night +long they shine green, but of amethyst are the lanterns of the +balconies. + +"As the musicians go along the ways dancers gather about them and +dance upon the alabaster pavings, for joy and not for hire. Sometimes +a window opens far up in an ebony palace and a wreath is cast down to +a dancer or orchids showered upon them. + +"Indeed of many cities have I dreamt but of none fairer, through many +marble metropolitan gates hasheesh has led me, but London is its +secret, the last gate of all; the ivory bowl has nothing more to show. +And indeed even now the imps that crawl behind me and that will not +let me be are plucking me by the elbow and bidding my spirit return, +for well they know that I have seen too much. 'No, not London,' they +say; and therefore I will speak of some other city, a city of some +less mysterious land, and anger not the imps with forbidden things. I +will speak of Persepolis or famous Thebes." + +A shade of annoyance crossed the Sultan's face, a look of thunder that +you had scarcely seen, but in those lands they watched his visage +well, and though his spirit was wandering far away and his eyes were +bleared with hasheesh yet that storyteller there and then perceived +the look that was death, and sent his spirit back at once to London as +a man runs into his house when the thunder comes. + +"And therefore," he continued, "in the desiderate city, in London, all +their camels are pure white. Remarkable is the swiftness of their +horses, that draw their chariots that are of ivory along those sandy +ways and that are of surpassing lightness, they have little bells of +silver upon their horses' heads. O Friend of God, if you perceived +their merchants! The glory of their dresses in the noonday! They are +no less gorgeous than those butterflies that float about their +streets. They have overcloaks of green and vestments of azure, huge +purple flowers blaze on their overcloaks, the work of cunning needles, +the centres of the flowers are of gold and the petals of purple. All +their hats are black--" ("No, no," said the Sultan)--"but irises are +set about the brims, and green plumes float above the crowns of them. + +"They have a river that is named the Thames, on it their ships go up +with violet sails bringing incense for the braziers that perfume the +streets, new songs exchanged for gold with alien tribes, raw silver +for the statues of their heroes, gold to make balconies where the +women sit, great sapphires to reward their poets with, the secrets of +old cities and strange lands, the earning of the dwellers in far +isles, emeralds, diamonds, and the hoards of the sea. And whenever a +ship comes into port and furls its violet sails and the news spreads +through London that she has come, then all the merchants go down to +the river to barter, and all day long the chariots whirl through the +streets, and the sound of their going is a mighty roar all day until +evening, their roar is even like--" + +"Not so," said the Sultan. + +"Truth is not hidden from the Friend of God," replied the +hasheesh-eater, "I have erred being drunken with the hasheesh, for in +the desiderate city, even in London, so thick upon the ways is the +white sea-sand with which the city glimmers that no sound comes from +the path of the charioteers, but they go softly like a light +sea-wind." ("It is well," said the Sultan.) "They go softly down to +the port where the vessels are, and the merchandise in from the sea, +amongst the wonders that the sailors show, on land by the high ships, +and softly they go though swiftly at evening back to their homes. + +"O would that the Munificent, the Illustrious, the Friend of God, had +even seen these things, had seen the jewellers with their empty +baskets, bargaining there by the ships, when the barrels of emeralds +came up from the hold. Or would that he had seen the fountains there +in silver basins in the midst of the ways. I have seen small spires +upon their ebony houses and the spires were all of gold, birds +strutted there upon the copper roofs from golden spire to spire that +have no equal for splendour in all the woods of the world. And over +London the desiderate city the sky is so deep a blue that by this +alone the traveller may know where he has come, and may end his +fortunate journey. Nor yet for any colour of the sky is there too +great heat in London, for along its ways a wind blows always from the +South gently and cools the city. + +"Such, O Friend of God, is indeed the city of London, lying very far +off on the yonder side of Bagdad, without a peer for beauty or +excellence of its ways among the towns of the earth or cities of song; +and even so, as I have told, its fortunate citizens dwell, with their +hearts ever devising beautiful things and from the beauty of their own +fair work that is more abundant around them every year, receiving new +inspirations to work things more beautiful yet." + +"And is their government good?" the Sultan said. + +"It is most good," said the hasheesh-eater, and fell backwards upon +the floor. + +He lay thus and was silent. And when the Sultan perceived he would +speak no more that night he smiled and lightly applauded. + +And there was envy in that palace, in lands beyond Bagdad, of all that +dwell in London. + + + + + +Thirteen at Table + +In front of a spacious fireplace of the old kind, when the logs were +well alight, and men with pipes and glasses were gathered before it in +great easeful chairs, and the wild weather outside and the comfort +that was within, and the season of the year--for it was Christmas--and +the hour of the night, all called for the weird or uncanny, then out +spoke the ex-master of foxhounds and told this tale. + +I once had an odd experience too. It was when I had the Bromley and +Sydenham, the year I gave them up--as a matter of fact it was the last +day of the season. It was no use going on because there were no foxes +left in the county, and London was sweeping down on us. You could see +it from the kennels all along the skyline like a terrible army in +grey, and masses of villas every year came skirmishing down our +valleys. Our coverts were mostly on the hills, and as the town came +down upon the valleys the foxes used to leave them and go right away +out of the county and they never returned. I think they went by night +and moved great distances. Well it was early April and we had drawn +blank all day, and at the last draw of all, the very last of the +season, we found a fox. He left the covert with his back to London and +its railways and villas and wire and slipped away towards the chalk +country and open Kent. I felt as I once felt as a child on one +summer's day when I found a door in a garden where I played left +luckily ajar, and I pushed it open and the wide lands were before me +and waving fields of corn. + +We settled down into a steady gallop and the fields began to drift by +under us, and a great wind arose full of fresh breath. We left the +clay lands where the bracken grows and came to a valley at the edge of +the chalk. As we went down into it we saw the fox go up the other side +like a shadow that crosses the evening, and glide into a wood that +stood on the top. We saw a flash of primroses in the wood and we were +out the other side, hounds hunting perfectly and the fox still going +absolutely straight. It began to dawn on me then that we were in for a +great hunt, I took a deep breath when I thought of it; the taste of +the air of that perfect Spring afternoon as it came to one galloping, +and the thought of a great run, were together like some old rare wine. +Our faces now were to another valley, large fields led down to it, +with easy hedges, at the bottom of it a bright blue stream went +singing and a rambling village smoked, the sunlight on the opposite +slopes danced like a fairy; and all along the top old woods were +frowning, but they dreamed of Spring. The "field" had fallen of and +were far behind and my only human companion was James, my old first +whip, who had a hound's instinct, and a personal animosity against a +fox that even embittered his speech. + +Across the valley the fox went as straight as a railway line, and +again we went without a check straight through the woods at the top. I +remember hearing men sing or shout as they walked home from work, and +sometimes children whistled; the sounds came up from the village to +the woods at the top of the valley. After that we saw no more +villages, but valley after valley arose and fell before us as though +we were voyaging some strange and stormy sea, and all the way before +us the fox went dead up-wind like the fabulous Flying Dutchman. There +was no one in sight now but my first whip and me, we had both of us +got on to our second horses as we drew the last covert. + +Two or three times we checked in those great lonely valleys beyond the +village, but I began to have inspirations, I felt a strange certainty +within me that this fox was going on straight up-wind till he died or +until night came and we could hunt no longer, so I reversed ordinary +methods and only cast straight ahead and always we picked up the scent +again at once. I believe that this fox was the last one left in the +villa-haunted lands and that he was prepared to leave them for remote +uplands far from men, that if we had come the following day he would +not have been there, and that we just happened to hit off his journey. + +Evening began to descend upon the valleys, still the hounds drifted +on, like the lazy but unresting shadows of clouds upon a summer's day, +we heard a shepherd calling to his dog, we saw two maidens move +towards a hidden farm, one of them singing softly; no other sounds, +but ours, disturbed the leisure and the loneliness of haunts that +seemed not yet to have known the inventions of steam and gun-powder +(even as China, they say, in some of her further mountains does not +yet know that she has fought Japan). + +And now the day and our horses were wearing out, but that resolute fox +held on. I began to work out the run and to wonder where we were. The +last landmark I had ever seen before must have been over five miles +back and from there to the start was at least ten miles more. If only +we could kill! Then the sun set. I wondered what chance we had of +killing our fox. I looked at James' face as he rode beside me. He did +not seem to have lost any confidence yet his horse was as tired as +mine. It was a good clear twilight and the scent was as strong as +ever, and the fences were easy enough, but those valleys were terribly +trying and they still rolled on and on. It looked as if the light +would outlast all possible endurance both of the fox and the horses, +if the scent held good and he did not go to ground, otherwise night +would end it. For long we had seen no houses and no roads, only chalk +slopes with the twilight on them, and here and there some sheep, and +scattered copses darkening in the evening. At some moment I seemed to +realise all at once that the light was spent and that darkness was +hovering, I looked at James, he was solemnly shaking his head. +Suddenly in a little wooded valley we saw climb over the oaks the +red-brown gables of a queer old house, at that instant I saw the fox +scarcely heading by fifty yards. We blundered through a wood into full +sight of the house, but no avenue led up to it or even a path nor were +there any signs of wheel-marks anywhere. Already lights shone here and +there in windows. We were in a park, and a fine park, but unkempt +beyond credibility; brambles grew everywhere. It was too dark to see +the fox any more but we knew he was dead beat, the hounds were just +before us,--and a four-foot railing of oak. I shouldn't have tried it +on a fresh horse the beginning of a run, and here was a horse near his +last gasp. But what a run! an event standing out in a lifetime, and +the hounds close up on their fox, slipping into the darkness as I +hesitated. I decided to try it. My horse rose about eight inches and +took it fair with his breast, and the oak log flew into handfuls of +wet decay--it rotten with years. And then we were on a lawn and at the +far end of it the hounds were tumbling over their fox. Fox, hounds and +light were all done together at the of a twenty-mile point. We made +some noise then, but nobody came out of the queer old house. + +I felt pretty stiff as I walked round to the hall door with the mask +and the brush while James went with the hounds and the two horses to +look for the stables. I rang a bell marvellously encrusted with rust, +and after a long while the door opened a little way revealing a hall +with much old armour in it and the shabbiest butler that I have ever +known. + +I asked him who lived there. Sir Richard Arlen. I explained that my +horse could go no further that night and that I wished to ask Sir +Richard Arlen for a bed for the night. + +"O, no one ever comes here, sir," said the butler. + +I pointed out that I had come. + +"I don't think it would be possible, sir," he said. + +This annoyed me and I asked to see Sir Richard, and insisted until he +came. Then I apologised and explained the situation. He looked only +fifty, but a 'Varsity oar on the wall with the date of the early +seventies, made him older than that; his face had something of the shy +look of the hermit; he regretted that he had not room to put me up. I +was sure that this was untrue, also I had to be put up there, there +was nowhere else within miles, so I almost insisted. Then to my +astonishment he turned to the butler and they talked it over in an +undertone. At last they seemed to think that they could manage it, +though clearly with reluctance. It was by now seven o' clock and Sir +Richard told me he dined at half past seven. There was no question of +clothes for me other than those I stood in, as my host was shorter and +broader. He showed me presently to the drawing-room and there he +reappeared before half past seven in evening dress and a white +waistcoat. The drawing-room was large and contained old furniture but +it was rather worn than venerable, an Aubusson carpet flapped about +the floor, the wind seemed momently to enter the room, and old +draughts haunted corners; the stealthy feet of rats that were never at +rest indicated the extent of the ruin that time had wrought in the +wainscot; somewhere far off a shutter flapped to and fro, the +guttering candles were insufficient to light so large a room. The +gloom that these things suggested was quite in keeping with Sir +Richard's first remark to me after he entered the room: "I must tell +you, sir, that I have led a wicked life. O, a very wicked life." + +Such confidences from a man much older than oneself after one has +known him for half an hour are so rare that any possible answer merely +does not suggest itself. I said rather slowly, "O, really," and +chiefly to forestall another such remark I said "What a charming house +you have." + +"Yes," he said, "I have not left it for nearly forty years. Since I +left the 'Varsity. One is young there, you know, and one has +opportunities; but I make no excuses, no excuses." And the door +slipping its rusty latch, came drifting on the draught into the room, +and the long carpet flapped and the hangings upon the walls, then the +draught fell rustling away and the door slammed to again. + +"Ah, Marianne," he said, "we have a guest to-night. Mr. Linton. This +is Marianne Gib." And everything became clear to me. "Mad," I said to +myself, for no one had entered the room. + +The rats ran up the length of the room behind the wainscot +ceaselessly, and the wind unlatched the door again and the folds of +the carpet fluttered up to our feet and stopped there, for our weight +held it down. + +"Let me introduce Mr. Linton," said my host--"Lady Mary Errinjer." + +The door slammed back again. I bowed politely. Even had I been invited +I should have humoured him, but it was the very least that an +uninvited guest could do. + +This kind of thing happened eleven times, the rustling, and the +fluttering of the carpet and the footsteps of the rats, and the +restless door, and then the sad voice of my host introducing me to +phantoms. Then for some while we waited while I struggled with the +situation; conversation flowed slowly. And again the draught came +trailing up the room, while the flaring candles filled it with +hurrying shadows. "Ah, late again, Cicely," said my host in his soft, +mournful way. "Always late, Cicely." Then I went down to dinner with +that man and his mind and the twelve phantoms that haunted it. I found +a long table with fine old silver on it and places laid for fourteen. +The butler was now in evening dress, there were fewer draughts in the +dining-room, the scene was less gloomy there. "Will you sit next to +Rosalind at the other end," Richard said to me. "She always takes the +head of the table, I wronged her most of all." I said, "I shall be +delighted." + +I looked at the butler closely, but never did I see by any expression +of his face or by anything that he did any suggestion that he waited +upon less than fourteen people in the complete possession of all their +faculties. Perhaps a dish appeared to be refused more often than taken +but every glass was equally filled with champagne. At first I found +little to say, but when Sir Richard speaking from the far end of the +table said, "You are tired, Mr. Linton," I was reminded that I owed +something to a host upon whom I had forced myself. It was excellent +champagne and with the help of a second glass I made the effort to +begin a conversation with a Miss Helen Errold for whom the place upon +one side of me was laid. It came more easy to me very soon, I +frequently paused in my monologue, like Mark Anthony, for a reply, and +sometimes I turned and spoke to Miss Rosalind Smith. Sir Richard at +the other end talked sorrowfully on, he spoke as a condemned man might +speak to his judge, and yet somewhat as a judge might speak to one +that he once condemned wrongly. My own mind began to turn to mournful +things. I drank another glass of champagne, but I was still thirsty. I +felt as if all the moisture in my body had been blown away over the +downs of Kent by the wind up which we had galloped. Still I was not +talking enough; my host was looking at me. I made another effort, +after all I had something to talk about, a twenty-mile point is not +often seen in a lifetime, especially south of the Thames. I began to +describe the run to Rosalind Smith. I could see then that my host was +pleased, the sad look in his face gave a kind of a flicker, like mist +upon the mountains on a miserable day when a faint puff comes from the +sea and the mist would lift if it could. And the butler refilled my +glass very attentively. I asked her first if she hunted, and paused +and began my story. I told her where we had found the fox and how fast +and straight he had gone, and how I had got through the village by +keeping to the road, while the little gardens and wire, and then the +river, had stopped the rest of the field. I told her the kind of +country that we crossed and how splendid it looked in the Spring, and +how mysterious the valleys were as soon as the twilight came, and what +a glorious horse I had and how wonderfully he went. I was so fearfully +thirsty after the great hunt that I had to stop for a moment now and +then, but I went on with my description of that famous run, for I had +warmed to the subject, and after all there was nobody to tell of it +but me except my old whipper-in, and "the old fellow's probably drunk +by now," I thought. I described to her minutely the exact spot in the +run at which it had come to me clearly that this was going to be the +greatest hunt in the whole history of Kent. Sometimes I forgot +incidents that had happened as one well may in a run of twenty miles, +and then I had to fill in the gaps by inventing. I was pleased to be +able to make the party go off well by means of my conversation, and +besides that the lady to whom I was speaking was extremely pretty: I +do not mean in a flesh and blood kind of way but there were little +shadowy lines about the chair beside me that hinted at an unusually +graceful figure when Miss Rosalind Smith was alive; and I began to +perceive that what I first mistook for the smoke of guttering candles +and a table-cloth waving in the draught was in reality an extremely +animated company who listened, and not without interest, to my story +of by far the greatest hunt that the world had ever known: indeed I +told them that I would confidently go further and predict that never +in the history of the world would there be such a run again. Only my +throat was terribly dry. And then as it seemed they wanted to hear +more about my horse. I had forgotten that I had come there on a horse, +but when they reminded me it all came back; they looked so charming +leaning over the table intent upon what I said, that I told them +everything they wanted to know. Everything was going so pleasantly if +only Sir Richard would cheer up. I heard his mournful voice every now +and then--these were very pleasant people if only he would take them +the right way. I could understand that he regretted his past, but the +early seventies seemed centuries away and I felt sure that he +misunderstood these ladies, they were not revengeful as he seemed to +suppose. I wanted to show him how cheerful they really were, and so I +made a joke and they an laughed at it, and then I chaffed them a bit, +especially Rosalind, and nobody resented it in the very least. And +still Sir Richard sat there with that unhappy look, like one that has +ended weeping because it is vain and has not the consolation even of +tears. + +We had been a long time there and many of the candles had burned out, +but there was light enough. I was glad to have an audience for my +exploit, and being happy myself I was determined Sir Richard should +be. I made more jokes and they still laughed good-naturedly; some of +the jokes were a little broad perhaps but no harm was meant. And +then--I do not wish to excuse myself--but I had had a harder day than +I ever had had before and without knowing it I must have been +completely exhausted; in this state the champagne had found me, and +what would have been harmless at any other time must somehow have got +the better of me when quite tired out--anyhow I went too far, I made +some joke--I cannot in the least remember what--that suddenly seemed +to offend them. I felt all at once a commotion in the air, I looked up +and saw that they had all arisen from the table and were sweeping +towards the door: I had not time to open it but it blew open on a +wind, I could scarcely see what Sir Richard was doing because only two +candles were left, I think the rest blew out when the ladies suddenly +rose. I sprang up to apologise, to assure them--and then fatigue +overcame me as it had overcome my horse at the last fence, I clutched +at the table but the cloth came away and then I fell. The fall, and +the darkness on the floor and the pent up fatigue of the day overcame +me all three together. + +The sun shone over glittering fields and in at a bedroom window and +thousands of birds were chanting to the Spring, and there I was in an +old four-poster bed in a quaint old panelled bedroom, fully dressed +and wearing long muddy boots; someone had taken my spurs and that was +all. For a moment I failed to realise and then it all came back, my +enormity and the pressing need of an abject apology to Sir Richard. I +pulled an embroidered bell rope until the butler came. He came in +perfectly cheerful and indescribably shabby. I asked him if Sir +Richard was up, and he said he had just gone down, and told me to my +amazement that it was twelve o'clock. I asked to be shown in to Sir +Richard at once. He was in his smoking-room. "Good morning," he said +cheerfully the moment I went in. I went directly to the matter in +hand. "I fear that I insulted some ladies in your house--" I began. + +"You did indeed," he said, "You did indeed." And then he burst into +tears and took me by the hand. "How can I ever thank you?" he said to +me then. "We have been thirteen at table for thirty years and I never +dared to insult them because I had wronged them all, and now you have +done it and I know they will never dine here again." And for a long +time he still held my hand, and then he gave it a grip and a kind of a +shake which I took to mean "Goodbye" and I drew my hand away then and +left the house. And I found James in the stables with the hounds and +asked him how he had fared, and James, who is a man of very few words, +said he could not rightly remember, and I got my spurs from the butler +and climbed on to my horse and slowly we rode away from that queer old +house, and slowly we wended home, for the hounds were footsore but +happy and the horses were tired still. And when we recalled that the +hunting season was ended we turned our faces to Spring and thought of +the new things that try to replace the old. And that very year I +heard, and have often heard since, of dances and happier dinners at +Sir Richard Arlen's house. + + + + + +The City on Mallington Moor + +Besides the old shepherd at Lingwold whose habits render him +unreliable I am probably the only person that has ever seen the city +on Mallington Moor. + +I had decided one year to do no London season; partly because of the +ugliness of the things in the shops, partly because of the unresisted +invasions of German bands, partly perhaps because some pet parrots in +the oblong where I lived had learned to imitate cab-whistles; but +chiefly because of late there had seized me in London a quite +unreasonable longing for large woods and waste spaces, while the very +thought of little valleys underneath copses full of bracken and +foxgloves was a torment to me and every summer in London the longing +grew worse till the thing was becoming intolerable. So I took a stick +and a knapsack and began walking northwards, starting at Tetherington +and sleeping at inns, where one could get real salt, and the waiter +spoke English and where one had a name instead of a number; and though +the tablecloth might be dirty the windows opened so that the air was +clean, where one had the excellent company of farmers and men of the +wold, who could not be thoroughly vulgar, because they had not the +money to be so even if they had wished it. At first the novelty was +delightful, and then one day in a queer old inn up Uthering way, +beyond Lingwold, I heard for the first time the rumour of the city +said to be on Mallington Moor. They spoke of it quite casually over +their glasses of beer, two farmers at the inn. "They say the queer +folk be at Mallington with their city," one farmer said. "Travelling +they seem to be," said the other. And more came in then and the rumour +spread. And then, such are the contradictions of our little likes and +dislikes and all the whims that drive us, that I, who had come so far +to avoid cities, had a great longing all of a sudden for throngs again +and the great hives of Man, and then and there determined on that +bright Sunday morning to come to Mallington and there search for the +city that rumour spoke of so strangely. + +Mallington Moor, from all that they said of it, was hardly a likely +place to find a thing by searching. It was a huge high moor, very +bleak and desolate and altogether trackless. It seemed a lonely place +from what they said. The Normans when they came had called it Mal Lieu +and afterwards Mallintown and so it changed to Mallington. Though what +a town can ever have had to do with a place so utterly desolate I do +not know. And before that some say that the Saxons called it Baplas, +which I believe to be a corruption of Bad Place. + +And beyond the mere rumour of a beautiful city all of white marble and +with a foreign look up on Mallington Moor, beyond this I could not +get. None of them had seen it himself, "only heard of it like," and my +questions, rather than stimulating conversation, would always stop it +abruptly. I was no more fortunate on the road to Mallington until the +Tuesday, when I was quite near it; I had been walking two days from +the inn where I had heard the rumour and could see the great hill +steep as a headland on which Mallington lay, standing up on the +skyline: the hill was covered with grass, where anything grew at all, +but Mallington Moor is all heather; it is just marked Moor on the map; +nobody goes there and they do not trouble to name it. It was there +where the gaunt hill first came into sight, by the roadside as I +enquired for the marble city of some labourers by the way, that I was +directed, partly I think in derision, to the old shepherd of Lingwold. +It appeared that he, following sometimes sheep that had strayed, and +wandering far from Lingwold, came sometimes up to the edge of +Mallington Moor, and that he would come back from these excursions and +shout through the villages, raving of a city of white marble and +gold-tipped minarets. And hearing me asking questions of this city +they had laughed and directed me to the shepherd of Lingwold. One +well-meant warning they gave me as I went--the old man was not +reliable. + +And late that evening I saw the thatches of Lingwold sheltering under +the edge of that huge hill that Atlas-like held up those miles of moor +to the great winds and heaven. + +They knew less of the city in Lingwold than elsewhere but they knew +the whereabouts of the man I wanted, though they seemed a little +ashamed of him. There was an inn in Lingwold that gave me shelter, +whence in the morning, equipped with purchases, I set out to find +their shepherd. And there he was on the edge of Mallington Moor +standing motionless, gazing stupidly at his sheep; his hands trembled +continually and his eyes had a blear look, but he was quite sober, +wherein all Lingwold had wronged him. + +And then and there I asked him of the city and he said he had never +heard tell of any such place. And I said, "Come, come, you must pull +yourself together." And he looked angrily at me; but when he saw me +draw from amongst my purchases a full bottle of whiskey and a big +glass he became more friendly. As I poured out the whiskey I asked him +again about the marble city on Mallington Moor but he seemed quite +honestly to know nothing about it. The amount of whiskey he drank was +quite incredible, but I seldom express surprise and once more I asked +him the way to the wonderful city. His hand was steadier now and his +eyes more intelligent and he said that he had heard something of some +such city, but his memory was evidently blurred and he was still +unable to give me useful directions. I consequently gave him another +tumbler, which he drank off like the first without any water, and +almost at once he was a different man. The trembling in his hands +stopped altogether, his eye became as quick as a younger man's, he +answered my questions readily and frankly, and, what was more +important to me still, his old memory became alert and clear for even +minutest details. His gratitude to myself I need not mention, for I +make no pretence that I bought the bottle of whiskey that the old +shepherd enjoyed so much without at least some thought of my own +advantage. Yet it was pleasant to reflect that it was due to me that +he had pulled himself together and steadied his shaking hand and +cleared his mind, recovered his memory and his self-respect. He spoke +to me quite clearly, no longer slurring his words; he had seen the +city first one moonlight night when he was lost in the mist on the big +moor, he had wandered far in the mist, and when it lifted he saw the +city by moonlight. He had no food, but luckily had his flask. There +never was such a city, not even in books. Travellers talked sometimes +of Venice seen from the sea, there might be such a place or there +might not, but, whether or no, it was nothing to the city on +Mallington Moor. Men who read books had talked to him in his time, +hundreds of books, but they never could tell of any city like this. +Why, the place was all of marble, roads, walls and palaces, all pure +white marble, and the tops of the tall thin spires were entirely of +gold. And they were queer folk in the city even for foreigners. And +there were camels, but I cut him short for I thought I could judge for +myself, if there was such a place, and, if not, I was wasting my time +as well as a pint of good whiskey. So I got him to speak of the way, +and after more circumlocution than I needed and more talk of the city +he pointed to a tiny track on the black earth just beside us, a little +twisty way you could hardly see. + +I said the moor was trackless; untrodden of man or dog it certainly +was and seemed to have less to do with the ways of man than any waste +I have seen, but the track the old shepherd showed me, if track it +was, was no more than the track of a hare--an elf-path the old man +called it, Heaven knows what he meant. And then before I left him he +insisted on giving me his flask with the queer strong rum it +contained. Whiskey brings out in some men melancholy, in some +rejoicing, with him it was clearly generosity and he insisted until I +took his rum, though I did not mean to drink it. It was lonely up +there, he said, and bitter cold and the city hard to find, being set +in a hollow, and I should need the rum, and he had never seen the +marble city except on days when he had had his flask: he seemed to +regard that rusted iron flask as a sort of mascot, and in the end I +took it. + +I followed that odd, faint track on the black earth under the heather +till I came to the big grey stone beyond the horizon, where the track +divides into two, and I took the one to the left as the old man told +me. I knew by another stone that I saw far off that I had not lost my +way, nor the old man lied. + +And just as I hoped to see the city's ramparts before the gloaming +fell on that desolate place, I suddenly saw a long high wall of +whiteness with pinnacles here and there thrown up above it, floating +towards me silent and grim as a secret, and knew it for that evil +thing the mist. The sun, though low, was shining on every sprig of +heather, the green and scarlet mosses were shining with it too, it +seemed incredible that in three minutes' time all those colours would +be gone and nothing left all round but a grey darkness. I gave up hope +of finding the city that day, a broader path than mine could have been +quite easily lost. I hastily chose for my bed a thick patch of +heather, wrapped myself in a waterproof cloak, and lay down and made +myself comfortable. And then the mist came. It came like the careful +pulling of lace curtains, then like the drawing of grey blinds; it +shut out the horizon to the north, then to the east and west; it +turned the whole sky white and hid the moor; it came down on it like a +metropolis, only utterly silent, silent and white as tombstones. + +And then I was glad of that strange strong rum, or whatever it was in +the flask that the shepherd gave me, for I did not think that the mist +would clear till night, and I feared the night would be cold. So I +nearly emptied the flask; and, sooner than I expected, I fell asleep, +for the first night out as a rule one does not sleep at once but is +kept awake some while by the little winds and the unfamiliar sound of +the things that wander at night, and that cry to one another far-off +with their queer, faint voices; one misses them afterwards when one +gets to houses again. But I heard none of these sounds in the mist +that evening. + +And then I woke and found that the mist was gone and the sun was just +disappearing under the moor, and I knew that I had not slept for as +long as I thought. And I decided to go on while I could, for I thought +that I was not very far from the city. + +I went on and on along the twisty track, bits of the mist came down +and filled the hollows but lifted again at once so that I saw my way. +The twilight faded as I went, a star appeared, and I was able to see +the track no longer. I could go no further that night, yet before I +lay down to sleep I decided to go and look over the edge of a wide +depression in the moor that I saw a little way off. So I left the +track and walked a few hundred yards, and when I got to the edge the +hollow was full of mist all white underneath me. Another star appeared +and a cold wind arose, and with the wind the mist flapped away like a +curtain. And there was the city. + +Nothing the shepherd had said was the least untrue or even +exaggerated. The poor old man had told the simple truth, there is not +a city like it in the world. What he had called thin spires were +minarets, but the little domes on the top were clearly pure gold as he +said. There were the marble terraces he described and the pure white +palaces covered with carving and hundreds of minarets. The city was +obviously of the East and yet where there should have been crescents +on the domes of the minarets there were golden suns with rays, and +wherever one looked one saw things that obscured its origin. I walked +down to it, and, passing through a wicket gate of gold in a low wall +of white marble, I entered the city. The heather went right up to the +city's edge and beat against the marble wall whenever the wind blew +it. Lights began to twinkle from high windows of blue glass as I +walked up the white street, beautiful copper lanterns were lit up and +let down from balconies by silver chains, from doors ajar came the +sound of voices singing, and then I saw the men. Their faces were +rather grey than black, and they wore beautiful robes of coloured silk +with hems embroidered with gold and some with copper, and sometimes +pacing down the marble ways with golden baskets hung on each side of +them I saw the camels of which the old shepherd spoke. + +The people had kindly faces, but, though they were evidently friendly +to strangers, I could not speak with them being ignorant of their +language, nor were the sounds of the syllables they used like any +language I had ever heard: they sounded more like grouse. + +When I tried to ask them by signs whence they had come with their city +they would only point to the moon, which was bright and full and was +shining fiercely on those marble ways till the city danced in light. +And now there began appearing one by one, slipping softly out through +windows, men with stringed instruments in the balconies. They were +strange instruments with huge bulbs of wood, and they played softly on +them and very beautifully, and their queer voices softly sang to the +music weird dirges of the griefs of their native land wherever that +may be. And far off in the heart of the city others were singing too, +the sound of it came to me wherever I roamed, not loud enough to +disturb my thoughts, but gently turning the mind to pleasant things. +Slender carved arches of marble, as delicate almost as lace, crossed +and re-crossed the ways wherever I went. There was none of that hurry +of which foolish cities boast, nothing ugly or sordid so far as I +could see. I saw that it was a city of beauty and song. I wondered how +they had travelled with all that marble, how they had laid it down on +Mallington Moor, whence they had come and what their resources were, +and determined to investigate closely next morning, for the old +shepherd had not troubled his head to think how the city came, he had +only noted that the city was there (and of course no one believed him, +though that is partly his fault for his dissolute ways). But at night +one can see little and I had walked all day, so I determined to find a +place to rest in. And just as I was wondering whether to ask for +shelter of those silk-robed men by signs or whether to sleep outside +the walls and enter again in the morning, I came to a great archway in +one of the marble houses with two black curtains, embroidered below +with gold, hanging across it. Over the archway were carved apparently +in many tongues the words: "Here strangers rest." In Greek, Latin and +Spanish the sentence was repeated and there was writing also in the +language that you see on the walls of the great temples of Egypt, and +Arabic and what I took to be early Assyrian and one or two languages I +had never seen. I entered through the curtains and found a tesselated +marble court with golden braziers burning sleepy incense swinging by +chains from the roof, all round the walls were comfortable mattresses +lying upon the floor covered with cloths and silks. It must have been +ten o'clock and I was tired. Outside the music still softly filled the +streets, a man had set a lantern down on the marble way, five or six +sat down round him, and he was sonorously telling them a story. Inside +there were some already asleep on the beds, in the middle of the wide +court under the braziers a woman dressed in blue was singing very +gently, she did not move, but sung on and on, I never heard a song +that was so soothing. I lay down on one of the mattresses by the wall, +which was all inlaid with mosaics, and pulled over me some of the +cloths with their beautiful alien work, and almost immediately my +thoughts seemed part of the song that the woman was singing in the +midst of the court under the golden braziers that hung from the high +roof, and the song turned them to dreams, and so I fell asleep. + +A small wind having arisen, I was awakened by a sprig of heather that +beat continually against my face. It was morning on Mallington Moor, +and the city was quite gone. + + + + + +Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn + +In the Hall of the Ancient Company of Milkmen round the great +fireplace at the end, when the winter logs are burning and all the +craft are assembled they tell to-day, as their grandfathers told +before them, why the milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. + +When dawn comes creeping over the edges of hills, peers through the +tree-trunks making wonderful shadows, touches the tops of tall columns +of smoke going up from awakening cottages in the valleys, and breaks +all golden over Kentish fields, when going on tip-toe thence it comes +to the walls of London and slips all shyly up those gloomy streets the +milkman perceives it and shudders. + +A man may be a Milkman's Working Apprentice, may know what borax is +and how to mix it, yet not for that is the story told to him. There +are five men alone that tell that story, five men appointed by the +Master of the Company, by whom each place is filled as it falls +vacant, and if you do not hear it from one of them you hear the story +from no one and so can never know why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + +It is the way of one of these five men, greybeards all and milkmen +from infancy, to rub his hands by the fire when the great logs burn, +and to settle himself more easily in his chair, perhaps to sip some +drink far other than milk, then to look round to see that none are +there to whom it would not be fitting the tale should be told and, +looking from face to face and seeing none but the men of the Ancient +Company, and questioning mutely the rest of the five with his eyes, if +some of the five be there, and receiving their permission, to cough +and to tell the tale. And a great hush falls in the Hall of the +Ancient Company, and something about the shape of the roof and the +rafters makes the tale resonant all down the hall so that the youngest +hears it far away from the fire and knows, and dreams of the day when +perhaps he will tell himself why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + +Not as one tells some casual fact is it told, nor is it commented on +from man to man, but it is told by that great fire only and when the +occasion and the stillness of the room and the merit of the wine and +the profit of all seem to warrant it in the opinion of the five +deputed men: then does one of them tell it, as I have said, not +heralded by any master of ceremonies but as though it arose out of the +warmth of the fire before which his knotted hands would chance to be; +not a thing learned by rote, but told differently by each teller, and +differently according to his mood, yet never has one of them dared to +alter its salient points, there is none so base among the Company of +Milkmen. The Company of Powderers for the Face know of this story and +have envied it, the Worthy Company of Chin-Barbers, and the Company of +Whiskerers; but none have heard it in the Milkmen's Hall, through +whose wall no rumour of the secret goes, and though they have invented +tales of their own Antiquity mocks them. + +This mellow story was ripe with honourable years when milkmen wore +beaver hats, its origin was still mysterious when smocks were the +vogue, men asked one another when Stuarts were on the throne (and only +the Ancient Company knew the answer) why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. It is all for envy of this tale's reputation that +the Company of Powderers for the Face have invented the tale that they +too tell of an evening, "Why the Dog Barks when he hears the step of +the Baker"; and because probably all men know that tale the Company of +the Powderers for the Face have dared to consider it famous. Yet it +lacks mystery and is not ancient, is not fortified with classical +allusion, has no secret lore, is common to all who care for an idle +tale, and shares with "The Wars of the Elves," the Calf-butcher's +tale, and "The Story of the Unicorn and the Rose," which is the tale +of the Company of Horse-drivers, their obvious inferiority. + +But unlike all these tales so new to time, and many another that the +last two centuries tell, the tale that the milkmen tell ripples wisely +on, so full of quotation from the profoundest writers, so full of +recondite allusion, so deeply tinged with all the wisdom of man and +instructive with the experience of all times that they that hear it in +the Milkmen's Hall as they interpret allusion after allusion and trace +obscure quotation lose idle curiosity and forget to question why the +milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. + +You also, O my reader, give not yourself up to curiosity. Consider of +how many it is the bane. Would you to gratify this tear away the +mystery from the Milkmen's Hall and wrong the Ancient Company of +Milkmen? Would they if all the world knew it and it became a common +thing to tell that tale any more that they have told for the last four +hundred years? Rather a silence would settle upon their hall and a +universal regret for the ancient tale and the ancient winter evenings. +And though curiosity were a proper consideration yet even then this is +not the proper place nor this the proper occasion for the Tale. For +the proper place is only the Milkmen's Hall and the proper occasion +only when logs burn well and when wine has been deeply drunken, then +when the candles were burning well in long rows down to the dimness, +down to the darkness and mystery that lie at the end of the hall, then +were you one of the Company, and were I one of the five, would I rise +from my seat by the fireside and tell you with all the embellishments +that it has gleaned from the ages that story that is the heirloom of +the milkmen. And the long candles would burn lower and lower and +gutter and gutter away till they liquefied in their sockets, and +draughts would blow from the shadowy end of the hall stronger and +stronger till the shadows came after them, and still I would hold you +with that treasured story, not by any wit of mine but all for the sake +of its glamour and the times out of which it came; one by one the +candles would flare and die and, when all were gone, by the light of +ominous sparks when each milkman's face looks fearful to his fellow, +you would know, as now you cannot, why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + + + + + +The Bad Old Woman in Black + +The bad old woman in black ran down the street of the ox-butchers. + +Windows at once were opened high up in those crazy gables; heads were +thrust out: it was she. Then there arose the counsel of anxious +voices, calling sideways from window to window or across to opposite +houses. Why was she there with her sequins and bugles and old black +gown? Why had she left her dreaded house? On what fell errand she +hasted? + +They watched her lean, lithe figure, and the wind in that old black +dress, and soon she was gone from the cobbled street and under the +town's high gateway. She turned at once to her right and was hid from +the view of the houses. Then they all ran down to their doors, and +small groups formed on the pavement; there they took counsel together, +the eldest speaking first. Of what they had seen they said nothing, +for there was no doubt it was she; it was of the future they spoke, +and the future only. + +In what notorious thing would her errand end? What gains had tempted +her out from her fearful home? What brilliant but sinful scheme had +her genius planned? Above all, what future evil did this portend? Thus +at first it was only questions. And then the old grey-beards spoke, +each one to a little group; they had seen her out before, had known +her when she was younger, and had noted the evil things that had +followed her goings: the small groups listened well to their low and +earnest voices. No one asked questions now or guessed at her infamous +errand, but listened only to the wise old men who knew the things that +had been, and who told the younger men of the dooms that had come +before. + +Nobody knew how many times she had left her dreaded house; but the +oldest recounted all the times that they knew, and the way she had +gone each time, and the doom that had followed her going; and two +could remember the earthquake that there was in the street of the +shearers. + +So were there many tales of the times that were, told on the pavement +near the old green doors by the edge of the cobbled street, and the +experience that the aged men had bought with their white hairs might +be had cheap by the young. But from all their experience only this was +clear, that never twice in their lives had she done the same infamous +thing, and that the same calamity twice had never followed her goings. +Therefore it seemed that means were doubtful and few for finding out +what thing was about to befall; and an ominous feeling of gloom came +down on the street of the ox-butchers. And in the gloom grew fears of +the very worst. This comfort they only had when they put their fear +into words--that the doom that followed her goings had never yet been +anticipated. One feared that with magic she meant to move the moon; +and he would have dammed the high tide on the neighbouring coast, +knowing that as the moon attracted the sea the sea must attract the +moon, and hoping by his device to humble her spells. Another would +have fetched iron bars and clamped them across the street, remembering +the earthquake there was in the street of the shearers. Another would +have honoured his household gods, the little cat-faced idols seated +above his hearth, gods to whom magic was no unusual thing, and, having +paid their fees and honoured them well, would have put the whole case +before them. His scheme found favour with many, and yet at last was +rejected, for others ran indoors and brought out their gods, too, to +be honoured, till there was a herd of gods all seated there on the +pavement; yet would they have honoured them and put their case before +them but that a fat man ran up last of all, carefully holding under a +reverent arm his own two hound-faced gods, though he knew well--as, +indeed, all men must--that they were notoriously at war with the +little cat-faced idols. And although the animosities natural to faith +had all been lulled by the crisis, yet a look of anger had come into +the cat-like faces that no one dared disregard, and all perceived that +if they stayed a moment longer there would be flaming around them the +jealousy of the gods; so each man hastily took his idols home, leaving +the fat man insisting that his hound-faced gods should be honoured. + +Then there were schemes again and voices raised in debate, and many +new dangers feared and new plans made. + +But in the end they made no defence against danger, for they knew not +what it would be, but wrote upon parchment as a warning, and in order +that all might know: "_The bad old woman in black ran down the street +of the ox-butchers._" + + + + + +The Bird of the Difficult Eye + +Observant men and women that know their Bond Street well will +appreciate my astonishment when in a jewellers' shop I perceived that +nobody was furtively watching me. Not only this but when I even picked +up a little carved crystal to examine it no shop-assistants crowded +round me. I walked the whole length of the shop, still no one politely +followed. + +Seeing from this that some extraordinary revolution had occurred in +the jewelry business I went with my curiosity well aroused to a queer +old person half demon and half man who has an idol-shop in a byway of +the City and who keeps me informed of affairs at the Edge of the +World. And briefly over a pinch of heather incense that he takes by +way of snuff he gave me this tremendous information: that Mr. Neepy +Thang the son of Thangobrind had returned from the Edge of the World +and was even now in London. + +The information may not appear tremendous to those unacquainted with +the source of jewelry; but when I say that the only thief employed by +any West-end jeweller since famous Thangobrind's distressing doom is +this same Neepy Thang, and that for lightness of fingers and swiftness +of stockinged foot they have none better in Paris, it will be +understood why the Bond Street jewellers no longer cared what became +of their old stock. + +There were big diamonds in London that summer and a few considerable +sapphires. In certain astounding kingdoms behind the East strange +sovereigns missed from their turbans the heirlooms of ancient wars, +and here and there the keepers of crown jewels who had not heard the +stockinged feet of Thang, were questioned and died slowly. + +And the jewellers gave a little dinner to Thang at the Hotel Great +Magnificent; the windows had not been opened for five years and there +was wine at a guinea a bottle that you could not tell from champagne +and cigars at half a crown with a Havana label. Altogether it was a +splendid evening for Thang. + +But I have to tell of a far sadder thing than a dinner at a hotel. The +public require jewelry and jewelry must be obtained. I have to tell of +Neepy Thang's last journey. + +That year the fashion was emeralds. A man named Green had recently +crossed the Channel on a bicycle and the jewellers said that a green +stone would be particularly appropriate to commemorate the event and +recommended emeralds. + +Now a certain money-lender of Cheapside who had just been made a peer +had divided his gains into three equal parts; one for the purchase of +the peerage, country house and park, and the twenty thousand pheasants +that are absolutely essential, and one for the upkeep of the position, +while the third he banked abroad, partly to cheat the native +tax-gatherer and partly because it seemed to him that the days of the +Peerage were few and that he might at any moment be called upon to +start afresh elsewhere. In the upkeep of the position he included +jewelry for his wife and so it came about that Lord Castlenorman +placed an order with two well-known Bond-street jewellers named +Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell to the extent of L100,000 for a few +reliable emeralds. + +But the emeralds in stock were mostly small and shop-soiled and Neepy +Thang had to set out at once before he had had as much as a week in +London. I will briefly sketch his project. Not many knew it, for where +the form of business is blackmail the fewer creditors you have the +better (which of course in various degrees applies at all times). + +On the shores of the risky seas of Shiroora Shan grows one tree only +so that upon its branches if anywhere in the world there must build +its nest the Bird of the Difficult Eye. Neepy Thang had come by this +information, which was indeed the truth, that if the bird migrated to +Fairyland before the three eggs hatched out they would undoubtedly all +turn into emeralds, while if they hatched out first it would be a bad +business. + +When he had mentioned these eggs to Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell +they had said, "The very thing": they were men of few words, in +English, for it was not their native tongue. + +So Neepy Thang set out. He bought the purple ticket at Victoria +Station. He went by Herne Hill, Bromley and Bickley and passed St. +Mary Cray. At Eynsford he changed and taking a footpath along a +winding valley went wandering into the hills. And at the top of a hill +in a little wood, where all the anemones long since were over and the +perfume of mint and thyme from outside came drifting in with Thang, he +found once more the familiar path, age-old and fair as wonder, that +leads to the Edge of the World. Little to him were its sacred memories +that are one with the secret of earth, for he was on business, and +little would they be to me if I ever put them on paper. Let it suffice +that he went down that path going further and further from the fields +we know, and all the way he muttered to himself, "What if the eggs +hatch out and it be a bad business!" The glamour that is at all times +upon those lonely lands that lie at the back of the chalky hills of +Kent intensified as he went upon his journeys. Queerer and queerer +grew the things that he saw by little World-End Path. Many a twilight +descended upon that journey with all their mysteries, many a blaze of +stars; many a morning came flaming up to a tinkle of silvern horns; +till the outpost elves of Fairyland came in sight and the glittering +crests of Fairyland's three mountains betokened the journey's end. And +so with painful steps (for the shores of the world are covered with +huge crystals) he came to the risky seas of Shiroora Shan and saw them +pounding to gravel the wreckage of fallen stars, saw them and heard +their roar, those shipless seas that between earth and the fairies' +homes heave beneath some huge wind that is none of our four. And there +in the darkness on the grizzly coast, for darkness was swooping +slantwise down the sky as though with some evil purpose, there stood +that lonely, gnarled and deciduous tree. It was a bad place to be +found in after dark, and night descended with multitudes of stars, +beasts prowling in the blackness gluttered [See any dictionary, but in +vain.] at Neepy Thang. And there on a lower branch within easy reach +he clearly saw the Bird of the Difficult Eye sitting upon the nest for +which she is famous. Her face was towards those three inscrutable +mountains, far-off on the other side of the risky seas, whose hidden +valleys are Fairyland. Though not yet autumn in the fields we know, it +was close on midwinter here, the moment as Thang knew when those eggs +hatch out. Had he miscalculated and arrived a minute too late? Yet the +bird was even now about to migrate, her pinions fluttered and her gaze +was toward Fairyland. Thang hoped and muttered a prayer to those pagan +gods whose spite and vengeance he had most reason to fear. It seems +that it was too late or a prayer too small to placate them, for there +and then the stroke of midwinter came and the eggs hatched out in the +roar of Shiroora Shan or ever the bird was gone with her difficult eye +and it was a bad business indeed for Neepy Thang; I haven't the heart +to tell you any more. + +"'Ere," said Lord Castlenorman some few weeks later to Messrs. +Grosvenor and Campbell, "you aren't 'arf taking your time about those +emeralds." + + + + + +The Long Porter's Tale + +There are things that are known only to the long porter of Tong Tong +Tarrup as he sits and mumbles memories to himself in the little +bastion gateway. + +He remembers the war there was in the halls of the gnomes; and how the +fairies came for the opals once, which Tong Tong Tarrup has; and the +way that the giants went through the fields below, he watching from +his gateway: he remembers quests that are even yet a wonder to the +gods. Who dwells in those frozen houses on the high bare brink of the +world not even he has told me, and he is held to be garrulous. Among +the elves, the only living things ever seen moving at that awful +altitude where they quarry turquoise on Earth's highest crag, his name +is a byword for loquacity wherewith they mock the talkative. + +His favourite story if you offer him bash--the drug of which he is +fondest, and for which he will give his service in war to the elves +against the goblins, or vice-versa if the goblins bring him more--his +favourite story, when bodily soothed by the drug and mentally fiercely +excited, tells of a quest undertaken ever so long ago for nothing more +marketable than an old woman's song. + +Picture him telling it. An old man, lean and bearded, and almost +monstrously long, that lolled in a city's gateway on a crag perhaps +ten miles high; the houses for the most part facing eastward, lit by +the sun and moon and the constellations we know, but one house on the +pinnacle looking over the edge of the world and lit by the glimmer of +those unearthly spaces where one long evening wears away the stars: my +little offering of bash; a long forefinger that nipped it at once on a +stained and greedy thumb--all these are in the foreground of the +picture. In the background, the mystery of those silent houses and of +not knowing who their denizens were, or what service they had at the +hands of the long porter and what payment he had in return, and +whether he was mortal. + +Picture him in the gateway of this incredible town, having swallowed +my bash in silence, stretch his great length, lean back, and begin to +speak. + +It seems that one clear morning a hundred years ago, a visitor to Tong +Tong Tarrup was climbing up from the world. He had already passed +above the snow and had set his foot on a step of the earthward +stairway that goes down from Tong Tong Tarrup on to the rocks, when +the long porter saw him. And so painfully did he climb those easy +steps that the grizzled man on watch had long to wonder whether or not +the stranger brought him bash, the drug that gives a meaning to the +stars and seems to explain the twilight. And in the end there was not +a scrap of bash, and the stranger had nothing better to offer that +grizzled man than his mere story only. + +It seems that the stranger's name was Gerald Jones, and he always +lived in London; but once as a child he had been on a Northern moor. +It was so long ago that he did not remember how, only somehow or other +he walked alone on the moor, and all the ling was in flower. There was +nothing in sight but ling and heather and bracken, except, far off +near the sunset, on indistinct hills, there were little vague patches +that looked like the fields of men. With evening a mist crept up and +hid the hills, and still he went walking on over the moor. And then he +came to the valley, a tiny valley in the midst of the moor, whose +sides were incredibly steep. He lay down and looked at it through the +roots of the ling. And a long, long way below him, in a garden by a +cottage, with hollyhocks all round her that were taller than herself, +there sat an old woman on a wooden chair, singing in the evening. And +the man had taken a fancy to the song and remembered it after in +London, and whenever it came to his mind it made him think of +evenings--the kind you don't get in London--and he heard a soft wind +going idly over the moor and the bumble-bees in a hurry, and forgot +the noise of the traffic. And always, whenever he heard men speak of +Time, he grudged to Time most this song. Once afterwards he went to +that Northern moor again and found the tiny valley, but there was no +old woman in the garden, and no one was singing a song. And either +regret for the song that the old woman had sung, on a summer evening +twenty years away and daily receding, troubled his mind, or else the +wearisome work that he did in London, for he worked for a great firm +that was perfectly useless; and he grew old early, as men do in +cities. And at last, when melancholy brought only regret and the +uselessness of his work gained round him with age, he decided to +consult a magician. So to a magician he went and told him his +troubles, and particularly he told him how he had heard the song. "And +now," he said, "it is nowhere in the world." + +"Of course it is not in the world," the magician said, "but over the +Edge of the World you may easily find it." And he told the man that he +was suffering from flux of time and recommended a day at the Edge of +the World. Jones asked what part of the Edge of the World he should go +to, and the magician had heard Tong Tong Tarrup well spoken of; so he +paid him, as is usual, in opals, and started at once on the journey. +The ways to that town are winding; he took the ticket at Victoria +Station that they only give if they know you: he went past Bleth: he +went along the Hills of Neol-Hungar and came to the Gap of Poy. All +these are in that part of the world that pertains to the fields we +know; but beyond the Gap of Poy on those ordinary plains, that so +closely resemble Sussex, one first meets the unlikely. A line of +common grey hills, the Hills of Sneg, may be seen at the edge of the +plain from the Gap of Poy; it is there that the incredible begins, +infrequently at first, but happening more and more as you go up the +hills. For instance, descending once into Poy Plains, the first thing +that I saw was an ordinary shepherd watching a flock of ordinary +sheep. I looked at them for some time and nothing happened, when, +without a word, one of the sheep walked up to the shepherd and +borrowed his pipe and smoked it--an incident that struck me as +unlikely; but in the Hills of Sneg I met an honest politician. Over +these plains went Jones and over the Hills of Sneg, meeting at first +unlikely things, and then incredible things, till he came to the long +slope beyond the hills that leads up to the Edge of the World, and +where, as all guidebooks tell, anything may happen. You might at the +foot of this slope see here and there things that could conceivably +occur in the fields we know; but soon these disappeared, and the +traveller saw nothing but fabulous beasts, browsing on flowers as +astounding as themselves, and rocks so distorted that their shapes had +clearly a meaning, being too startling to be accidental. Even the +trees were shockingly unfamiliar, they had so much to say, and they +leant over to one another whenever they spoke and struck grotesque +attitudes and leered. Jones saw two fir-trees fighting. The effect of +these scenes on his nerves was very severe; still he climbed on, and +was much cheered at last by the sight of a primrose, the only familiar +thing he had seen for hours, but it whistled and skipped away. He saw +the unicorns in their secret valley. Then night in a sinister way +slipped over the sky, and there shone not only the stars, but lesser +and greater moons, and he heard dragons rattling in the dark. + +With dawn there appeared above him among its amazing crags the town of +Tong Tong Tarrup, with the light on its frozen stairs, a tiny cluster +of houses far up in the sky. He was on the steep mountain now: great +mists were leaving it slowly, and revealing, as they trailed away, +more and more astonishing things. Before the mist had all gone he +heard quite near him, on what he had thought was bare mountain, the +sound of a heavy galloping on turf. He had come to the plateau of the +centaurs. And all at once he saw them in the mist: there they were, +the children of fable, five enormous centaurs. Had he paused on +account of any astonishment he had not come so far: he strode on over +the plateau, and came quite near to the centaurs. It is never the +centaurs' wont to notice men; they pawed the ground and shouted to one +another in Greek, but they said no word to him. Nevertheless they +turned and stared at him when he left them, and when he had crossed +the plateau and still went on, all five of them cantered after to the +edge of their green land; for above the high green plateau of the +centaurs is nothing but naked mountains, and the last green thing that +is seen by the mountaineer as he travels to Tong Tong Tarrup is the +grass that the centaurs trample. He came into the snow fields that the +mountain wears like a cape, its head being bare above it, and still +climbed on. The centaurs watched him with increasing wonder. + +Not even fabulous beasts were near him now, nor strange demoniac +trees--nothing but snow and the clean bare crag above it on which was +Tong Tong Tarrup. All day he climbed and evening found him above the +snow-line; and soon he came to the stairway cut in the rock and in +sight of that grizzled man, the long porter of Tong Tong Tarrup, +sitting mumbling amazing memories to himself and expecting in vain +from the stranger a gift of bash. + +It seems that as soon as the stranger arrived at the bastion gateway, +tired though he was, he demanded lodgings at once that commanded a +good view of the Edge of the World. But the long porter, that grizzled +man, disappointed of his bash, demanded the stranger's story to add to +his memories before he would show him the way. And this is the story, +if the long porter has told me the truth and if his memory is still +what it was. And when the story was told, the grizzled man arose, and, +dangling his musical keys, went up through door after door and by many +stairs and led the stranger to the top-most house, the highest roof in +the world, and in its parlour showed him the parlour window. There the +tired stranger sat down in a chair and gazed out of the window sheer +over the Edge of the World. The window was shut, and in its glittering +panes the twilight of the World's Edge blazed and danced, partly like +glow-worms' lamps and partly like the sea; it went by rippling, full +of wonderful moons. But the traveller did not look at the wonderful +moons. For from the abyss there grew with their roots in far +constellations a row of hollyhocks, and amongst them a small green +garden quivered and trembled as scenes tremble in water; higher up, +ling in bloom was floating upon the twilight, more and more floated up +till all the twilight was purple; the little green garden low down was +hung in the midst of it. And the garden down below, and the ling all +round it, seemed all to be trembling and drifting on a song. For the +twilight was full of a song that sang and rang along the edges of the +World, and the green garden and the ling seemed to flicker and ripple +with it as the song rose and fell, and an old woman was singing it +down in the garden. A bumble-bee sailed across from over the Edge of +the World. And the song that was lapping there against the coasts of +the World, and to which the stars were dancing, was the same that he +had heard the old woman sing long since down in the valley in the +midst of the Northern moor. + +But that grizzled man, the long porter, would not let the stranger +stay, because he brought him no bash, and impatiently he shouldered +him away, himself not troubling to glance through the World's +outermost window, for the lands that Time afflicts and the spaces that +Time knows not are all one to that grizzled man, and the bash that he +eats more profoundly astounds his mind than anything man can show him +either in the World we know or over the Edge. And, bitterly +protesting, the traveller went back and down again to the World. + + . . . . . + +Accustomed as I am to the incredible from knowing the Edge of the +World, the story presents difficulties to me. Yet it may be that the +devastation wrought by Time is merely local, and that outside the +scope of his destruction old songs are still being sung by those that +we deem dead. I try to hope so. And yet the more I investigate the +story that the long porter told me in the town of Tong Tong Tarrup the +more plausible the alternative theory appears--that that grizzled man +is a liar. + + + + + +The Loot of Loma + +Coming back laden with the loot of Loma, the four tall men looked +earnestly to the right; to the left they durst not, for the precipice +there that had been with them so long went sickly down on to a bank of +clouds, and how much further below that only their fears could say. + +Loma lay smoking, a city of ruin, behind them, all its defenders dead; +there was no one left to pursue them, and yet their Indian instincts +told them that all was scarcely well. They had gone three days along +that narrow ledge: mountain quite smooth, incredible, above them, and +precipice as smooth and as far below. It was chilly there in the +mountains; at night a stream or a wind in the gloom of the chasm below +them went like a whisper; the stillness of all things else began to +wear the nerve--an enemy's howl would have braced them; they began to +wish their perilous path were wider, they began to wish that they had +not sacked Loma. + +Had that path been any wider the sacking of Loma must indeed have been +harder for them, for the citizens must have fortified the city but +that the awful narrowness of that ten-league pass of the hills had +made their crag-surrounded city secure. And at last an Indian had +said, "Come, let us sack it." Grimly they laughed in the wigwams. Only +the eagles, they said, had ever seen it, its hoard of emeralds and its +golden gods; and one had said he would reach it, and they answered, +"Only the eagles." + +It was Laughing Face who said it, and who gathered thirty braves and +led them into Loma with their tomahawks and their bows; there were +only four left now, but they had the loot of Loma on a mule. They had +four golden gods, a hundred emeralds, fifty-two rubies, a large silver +gong, two sticks of malachite with amethyst handles for holding +incense at religious feasts, four beakers one foot high, each carved +from a rose-quartz crystal; a little coffer carved out of two +diamonds, and (had they but known it) the written curse of a priest. +It was written on parchment in an unknown tongue, and had been slipped +in with the loot by a dying hand. + +From either end of that narrow, terrible ledge the third night was +closing in; it was dropping down on them from the heights of the +mountain and slipping up to them out of the abyss, the third night +since Loma blazed and they had left it. Three more days of tramping +should bring them in triumph home, and yet their instincts said that +all was scarcely well. We who sit at home and draw the blinds and shut +the shutters as soon as night appears, who gather round the fire when +the wind is wild, who pray at regular seasons and in familiar shrines, +know little of the demoniac look of night when it is filled with +curses of false, infuriated gods. Such a night was this. Though in the +heights the fleecy clouds were idle, yet the wind was stirring +mournfully in the abyss and moaning as it stirred, unhappily at first +and full of sorrow; but as day turned away from that awful path a very +definite menace entered its voice which fast grew louder and louder, +and night came on with a long howl. Shadows repeatedly passed over the +stars, and then a mist fell swiftly, as though there were something +suddenly to be done and utterly to be hidden, as in very truth there +was. + +And in the chill of that mist the four tall men prayed to their +totems, the whimsical wooden figures that stood so far away, watching +the pleasant wigwams; the firelight even now would be dancing over +their faces, while there would come to their ears delectable tales of +war. They halted upon the pass and prayed, and waited for any sign. +For a man's totem may be in the likeness perhaps of an otter, and a +man may pray, and if his totem be placable and watching over his man a +noise may be heard at once like the noise that the otter makes, though +it be but a stone that falls on another stone; and the noise is a +sign. The four men's totems that stood so far away were in the +likeness of the coney, the bear, the heron, and the lizard. They +waited, and no sign came. With all the noises of the wind in the +abyss, no noise was like the thump that the coney makes, nor the +bear's growl, nor the heron's screech, nor the rustle of the lizard in +the reeds. + +It seemed that the wind was saying something over and over again, and +that that thing was evil. They prayed again to their totems, and no +sign came. And then they knew that there was some power that night +that was prevailing against the pleasant carvings on painted poles of +wood with the firelight on their faces so far away. Now it was clear +that the wind was saying something, some very, very dreadful thing in +a tongue that they did not know. They listened, but they could not +tell what it said. Nobody could have said from seeing their faces how +much the four tall men desired the wigwams again, desired the +camp-fire and the tales of war and the benignant totems that listened +and smiled in the dusk: nobody could have seen how well they knew that +this was no common night or wholesome mist. + +When at last no answer came nor any sign from their totems, they +pulled out of the bag those golden gods that Loma gave not up except +in flames and when all her men were dead. They had large ruby eyes and +emerald tongues. They set them down upon that mountain pass, the +cross-legged idols with their emerald tongues; and having placed +between them a few decent yards, as it seemed meet there should be +between gods and men, they bowed them down and prayed in their +desperate straits in that dank, ominous night to the gods they had +wronged, for it seemed that there was a vengeance upon the hills and +that they would scarce escape, as the wind knew well. And the gods +laughed, all four, and wagged their emerald tongues; the Indians saw +them, though the night had fallen and though the mist was low. The +four tall men leaped up at once from their knees and would have left +the gods upon the pass but that they feared some hunter of their tribe +might one day find them and say of Laughing Face, "He fled and left +behind his golden gods," and sell the gold and come with his wealth to +the wigwams and be greater than Laughing Face and his three men. And +then they would have cast the gods away, down the abyss, with their +eyes and their emerald tongues, but they knew that enough already they +had wronged Loma's gods, and feared that vengeance enough was waiting +them on the hills. So they packed them back in the bag on the +frightened mule, the bag that held the curse they knew nothing of, and +so pushed on into the menacing night. Till midnight they plodded on +and would not sleep; grimmer and grimmer grew the look of the night, +and the wind more full of meaning, and the mule knew and trembled, and +it seemed that the wind knew, too, as did the instincts of those four +tall men, though they could not reason it out, try how they would. + +And though the squaws waited long where the pass winds out of the +mountains, near where the wigwams are upon the plains, the wigwams and +the totems and the fire, and though they watched by day, and for many +nights uttered familiar calls, still did they never see those four +tall men emerge out of the mountains any more, even though they prayed +to their totems upon their painted poles; but the curse in the +mystical writing that they had unknown in their bag worked there on +that lonely pass six leagues from the ruins of Loma, and nobody can +tell us what it was. + + + + + +The Secret of the Sea + +In an ill-lit ancient tavern that I know, are many tales of the sea; +but not without the wine of Gorgondy, that I had of a private bargain +from the gnomes, was the tale laid bare for which I had waited of an +evening for the greater part of a year. + +I knew my man and listened to his stories, sitting amid the bluster of +his oaths; I plied him with rum and whiskey and mixed drinks, but +there never came the tale for which I sought, and as a last resort I +went to the Huthneth Mountains and bargained there all night with the +chiefs of the gnomes. + +When I came to the ancient tavern and entered the low-roofed room, +bringing the hoard of the gnomes in a bottle of hammered iron, my man +had not yet arrived. The sailors laughed at my old iron bottle, but I +sat down and waited; had I opened it then they would have wept and +sung. I was well content to wait, for I knew my man had the story, and +it was such a one as had profoundly stirred the incredulity of the +faithless. + +He entered and greeted me, and sat down and called for brandy. He was +a hard man to turn from his purpose, and, uncorking my iron bottle, I +sought to dissuade him from brandy for fear that when the brandy, bit +his throat he should refuse to leave it for any other wine. He lifted +his head and said deep and dreadful things of any man that should dare +to speak against brandy. + +I swore that I said nothing against brandy but added that it was often +given to children, while Gorgondy was only drunk by men of such +depravity that they had abandoned sin because all the usual vices had +come to seem genteel. When he asked if Gorgondy was a bad wine to +drink I said that it was so bad that if a man sipped it that was the +one touch that made damnation certain. Then he asked me what I had in +the iron bottle, and I said it was Gorgondy; and then he shouted for +the largest tumbler in that ill-lit ancient tavern, and stood up and +shook his fist at me when it came, and swore, and told me to fill it +with the wine that I got on that bitter night from the treasure house +of the gnomes. + +As he drank it he told me that he had met men who had spoken against +wine, and that they had mentioned Heaven; and therefore he would not +go there--no, not he; and that once he had sent one of them to Hell, +but when he got there he would turn him out, and he had no use for +milksops. + +Over the second tumbler he was thoughtful, but still he said no word +of the tale he knew, until I feared that it would never be heard. But +when the third glass of that terrific wine had burned its way down his +gullet, and vindicated the wickedness of the gnomes, his reticence +withered like a leaf in the fire, and he bellowed out the secret. + +I had long known that there is in ships a will or way of their own, +and had even suspected that when sailors die or abandon their ships at +sea, a derelict, being left to her own devices, may seek her own ends; +but I had never dreamed by night, or fancied during the day, that the +ships had a god that they worshipped, or that they secretly slipped +away to a temple in the sea. + +Over the fourth glass of the wine that the gnomes so sinfully brew but +have kept so wisely from man, until the bargain that I had with their +elders all through that autumn night, the sailor told me the story. I +do not tell it as he told it to me because of the oaths that were in +it; nor is it from delicacy that I refrain from writing these oaths +verbatim, but merely because the horror they caused in me at the time +troubles me still whenever I put them on paper, and I continue to +shudder until I have blotted them out. Therefore, I tell the story in +my own words, which, if they possess a certain decency that was not in +the mouth of that sailor, unfortunately do not smack, as his did, of +rum and blood and the sea. + +You would take a ship to be a dead thing like a table, as dead as bits +of iron and canvas and wood. That is because you always live on shore, +and have never seen the sea, and drink milk. Milk is a more accursed +drink than water. + +What with the captain and what with the man at the wheel, and what +with the crew, a ship has no fair chance of showing a will of her own. + +There is only one moment in the history of ships, that carry crews on +board, when they act by their own free will. This moment comes when +all the crew are drunk. As the last man falls drunk on to the deck, +the ship is free of man, and immediately slips away. She slips away at +once on a new course and is never one yard out in a hundred miles. + +It was like this one night with the Sea-Fancy. Bill Smiles was there +himself, and can vouch for it. Bill Smiles has never told this tale +before for fear that anyone should call him a liar. Nobody dislikes +being hung as much as Bill Smiles would, but he won't be called a +liar. I tell the tale as I heard it, relevancies and irrelevancies, +though in my more decent words; and as I made no doubts of the truth +of it then, I hardly like to now; others can please themselves. + +It is not often that the whole of a crew is drunk. The crew of +the Sea-Fancy was no drunkener than others. It happened like this. + +The captain was always drunk. One day a fancy he had that some spiders +were plotting against him, or a sudden bleeding he had from both his +ears, made him think that drinking might be bad for his health. Next +day he signed the pledge. He was sober all that morning and all the +afternoon, but at evening he saw a sailor drinking a a glass of beer, +and a fit of madness seized him, and he said things that seemed bad to +Bill Smiles. And next morning he made all of them take the pledge. + +For two days nobody had a drop to drink, unless you count water, and +on the third morning the captain was quite drunk. It stood to reason +they all had a glass or two then, except the man at the wheel; and +towards evening the man at the wheel could bear it no longer, and +seems to have had his glass like all the rest, for the ship's course +wobbled a bit and made a circle or two. Then all of a sudden she went +off south by east under full canvas till midnight, and never altered +her course. And at midnight she came to the wide wet courts of the +Temple in the Sea. + +People who think that Mr. Smiles is drunk often make a great mistake. And +people are not the only ones that have made that mistake. Once a +ship made it, and a lot of ships. It's a mistake to think that old Bill +Smiles is drunk just because he can't move. + +Midnight and moonlight and the Temple in the Sea Bill Smiles clearly +remembers, and all the derelicts in the world were there, the old +abandoned ships. The figureheads were nodding to themselves and +blinking at the image. The image was a woman of white marble on a +pedestal in the outer court of the Temple of the Sea: she was clearly +the love of all the man-deserted ships, or the goddess to whom they +prayed their heathen prayers. And as Bill Smiles was watching them, +the lips of the figureheads moved; they all began to pray. But all at +once their lips were closed with a snap when they saw that there were +men on the Sea-Fancy. They all came crowding up and nodded and nodded +and nodded to see if all were drunk, and that's when they made their +mistake about old Bill Smiles, although he couldn't move. They would +have given up the treasuries of the gulfs sooner than let men hear the +prayers they said or guess their love for the goddess. It is the +intimate secret of the sea. + +The sailor paused. And, in my eagerness to hear what lyrical or +blasphemous thing those figureheads prayed by moonlight at midnight in +the sea to the woman of marble who was a goddess to ships, I pressed +on the sailor more of my Gorgondy wine that the gnomes so wickedly +brew. + +I should never have done it; but there he was sitting silent while the +secret was almost mine. He took it moodily and drank a glass; and with +the other glasses that he had had he fell a prey to the villainy of +the gnomes who brew this unbridled wine to no good end. His body +leaned forward slowly, then fell on to the table, his face being +sideways and full of a wicked smile, and, saying very clearly the one +word, "Hell," he became silent for ever with the secret he had from +the sea. + + + + + +How Ali Came to the Black Country + +Shooshan the barber went to Shep the maker of teeth to discuss the +state of England. They agreed that it was time to send for Ali. + +So Shooshan stepped late that night from the little shop near Fleet +Street and made his way back again to his house in the ends of London +and sent at once the message that brought Ali. + +And Ali came, mostly on foot, from the country of Persia, and it took +him a year to come; but when he came he was welcome. + +And Shep told Ali what was the matter with England and Shooshan swore +that it was so, and Ali looking out of the window of the little shop +near Fleet Street beheld the ways of London and audibly blessed King +Solomon and his seal. + +When Shep and Shooshan heard the names of King Solomon and his seal +both asked, as they had scarcely dared before, if Ali had it. Ali +patted a little bundle of silks that he drew from his inner raiment. +It was there. + +Now concerning the movements and courses of the stars and the +influence on them of spirits of Earth and devils this age has been +rightly named by some The Second Age of Ignorance. But Ali knew. And +by watching nightly, for seven nights in Bagdad, the way of certain +stars he had found out the dwelling place of Him they Needed. + +Guided by Ali all three set forth for the Midlands. And by the +reverence that was manifest in the faces of Shep and Shooshan towards +the person of Ali, some knew what Ali carried, while others said that +it was the tablets of the Law, others the name of God, and others that +he must have a lot of money about him. So they passed Slod and Apton. + +And at last they came to the town for which Ali sought, that spot over +which he had seen the shy stars wheel and swerve away from their +orbits, being troubled. Verily when they came there were no stars, +though it was midnight. And Ali said that it was the appointed place. +In harems in Persia in the evening when the tales go round it is still +told how Ali and Shep and Shooshan came to the Black country. + +When it was dawn they looked upon the country and saw how it was +without doubt the appointed place, even as Ali had said, for the earth +had been taken out of pits and burned and left lying in heaps, and +there were many factories, and they stood over the town and as it were +rejoiced. And with one voice Shep and Shooshan gave praise to Ali. + +And Ali said that the great ones of the place must needs be gathered +together, and to this end Shep and Shooshan went into the town and +there spoke craftily. For they said that Ali had of his wisdom +contrived as it were a patent and a novelty which should greatly +benefit England. And when they heard how he sought nothing for his +novelty save only to benefit mankind they consented to speak with Ali +and see his novelty. And they came forth and met Ali. + +And Ali spake and said unto them: "O lords of this place; in the book +that all men know it is written how that a fisherman casting his net +into the sea drew up a bottle of brass, and when he took the stopper +from the bottle a dreadful genie of horrible aspect rose from the +bottle, as it were like a smoke, even to darkening the sky, whereat +the fisherman..." And the great ones of that place said: "We have +heard the story." And Ali said: "What became of that genie after he +was safely thrown back into the sea is not properly spoken of by any +save those that pursue the study of demons and not with certainty by +any man, but that the stopper that bore the ineffable seal and bears +it to this day became separate from the bottle is among those things +that man may know." And when there was doubt among the great ones Ali +drew forth his bundle and one by one removed those many silks till the +seal stood revealed; and some of them knew it for the seal and others +knew it not. + +And they looked curiously at it and listened to Ali, and Ali said: + +"Having heard how evil is the case of England, how a smoke has +darkened the country, and in places (as men say) the grass is black, +and how even yet your factories multiply, and haste and noise have +become such that men have no time for song, I have therefore come at +the bidding of my good friend Shooshan, barber of London, and of Shep, +a maker of teeth, to make things well with you." + +And they said: "But where is your patent and your novelty?" + +And Ali said: "Have I not here the stopper and on it, as good men +know, the ineffable seal? Now I have learned in Persia how that your +trains that make the haste, and hurry men to and fro, and your +factories and the digging of your pits and all the things that are +evil are everyone of them caused and brought about by steam." + +"Is it not so?" said Shooshan. + +"It is even so," said Shep. + +"Now it is clear," said Ali, "that the chief devil that vexes England +and has done all this harm, who herds men into cities and will not let +them rest, is even the devil Steam." + +Then the great ones would have rebuked him but one said: "No, let us +hear him, perhaps his patent may improve on steam." + +And to them hearkening Ali went on thus: "O Lords of this place, let +there be made a bottle of strong steel, for I have no bottle with my +stopper, and this being done let all the factories, trains, digging of +pits, and all evil things soever that may be done by steam be stopped +for seven days, and the men that tend them shall go free, but the +steel bottle for my stopper I will leave open in a likely place. Now +that chief devil, Steam, finding no factories to enter into, nor no +trains, sirens nor pits prepared for him, and being curious and +accustomed to steel pots, will verily enter one night into the bottle +that you shall make for my stopper, and I shall spring forth from my +hiding with my stopper and fasten him down with the ineffable seal +which is the seal of King Solomon and deliver him up to you that you +cast him into the sea." + +And the great ones answered Ali and they said: "But what should we +gain if we lose our prosperity and be no longer rich?" + +And Ali said: "When we have cast this devil into the sea there will +come back again the woods and ferns and all the beautiful things that +the world hath, the little leaping hares shall be seen at play, there +shall be music on the hills again, and at twilight ease and quiet and +after the twilight stars." + +And "Verily," said Shooshan, "there shall be the dance again." + +"Aye," said Shep, "there shall be the country dance." + +But the great ones spake and said, denying Ali: "We will make no such +bottle for your stopper nor stop our healthy factories or good trains, +nor cease from our digging of pits nor do anything that you desire, +for an interference with steam would strike at the roots of that +prosperity that you see so plentifully all around us." + +Thus they dismissed Ali there and then from that place where the earth +was torn up and burnt, being taken out of pits, and where factories +blazed all night with a demoniac glare; and they dismissed with him +both Shooshan, the barber, and Shep, the maker of teeth: so that a +week later Ali started from Calais on his long walk back to Persia. + +And all this happened thirty years ago, and Shep is an old man now and +Shooshan older, and many mouths have bit with the teeth of Shep (for +he has a knack of getting them back whenever his customers die), and +they have written again to Ali away in the country of Persia with +these words, saying: + +"O Ali. The devil has indeed begotten a devil, even that spirit +Petrol. And the young devil waxeth, and increaseth in lustihood and is +ten years old and becoming like to his father. Come therefore and help +us with the ineffable seal. For there is none like Ali." + +And Ali turns where his slaves scatter rose-leaves, letting the letter +fall, and deeply draws from his hookah a puff of the scented smoke, +right down into his lungs, and sighs it forth and smiles, and lolling +round on to his other elbow speaks comfortably and says, "And shall a +man go twice to the help of a dog?" + +And with these words he thinks no more of England but ponders again +the inscrutable ways of God. + + + + + +The Bureau d'Echange de Maux + +I often think of the Bureau d'Echange de Maux and the wondrously evil +old man that sate therein. It stood in a little street that there is +in Paris, its doorway made of three brown beams of wood, the top one +overlapping the others like the Greek letter _pi_, all the rest +painted green, a house far lower and narrower than its neighbours and +infinitely stranger, a thing to take one's fancy. And over the doorway +on the old brown beam in faded yellow letters this legend ran, Bureau +Universel d'Echanges de Maux. + +I entered at once and accosted the listless man that lolled on a stool +by his counter. I demanded the wherefore of his wonderful house, what +evil wares he exchanged, with many other things that I wished to know, +for curiosity led me; and indeed had it not I had gone at once from +that shop, for there was so evil a look in that fattened man, in the +hang of his fallen cheeks and his sinful eye, that you would have said +he had had dealings with Hell and won the advantage by sheer +wickedness. + +Such a man was mine host; but above all the evil of him lay in his +eyes, which lay so still, so apathetic, that you would have sworn that +he was drugged or dead; like lizards motionless on a wall they lay, +then suddenly they darted, and all his cunning flamed up and revealed +itself in what one moment before seemed no more than a sleepy and +ordinary wicked old man. And this was the object and trade of that +peculiar shop, the Bureau Universel d'Echange de Maux: you paid twenty +francs, which the old man proceeded to take from me, for admission to +the bureau and then had the right to exchange any evil or misfortune +with anyone on the premises for some evil or misfortune that he "could +afford," as the old man put it. + +There were four or five men in the dingy ends of that low-ceilinged +room who gesticulated and muttered softly in twos as men who make a +bargain, and now and then more came in, and the eyes of the flabby +owner of the house leaped up at them as they entered, seemed to know +their errands at once and each one's peculiar need, and fell back +again into somnolence, receiving his twenty francs in an almost +lifeless hand and biting the coin as though in pure absence of mind. + +"Some of my clients," he told me. So amazing to me was the trade of +this extraordinary shop that I engaged the old man in conversation, +repulsive though he was, and from his garrulity I gathered these +facts. He spoke in perfect English though his utterance was somewhat +thick and heavy; no language seemed to come amiss to him. He had been +in business a great many years, how many he would not say, and was far +older than he looked. All kinds of people did business in his shop. +What they exchanged with each other he did not care except that it had +to be evils, he was not empowered to carry on any other kind of +business. + +There was no evil, he told me, that was not negotiable there; no evil +the old man knew had ever been taken away in despair from his shop. A +man might have to wait and come back again next day, and next day and +the day after, paying twenty francs each time, but the old man had the +addresses of all his clients and shrewdly knew their needs, and soon +the right two met and eagerly exchanged their commodities. +"Commodities" was the old man's terrible word, said with a gruesome +smack of his heavy lips, for he took a pride in his business and evils +to him were goods. + +I learned from him in ten minutes very much of human nature, more than +I have ever learned from any other man; I learned from him that a +man's own evil is to him the worst thing there is or ever could be, +and that an evil so unbalances all men's minds that they always seek +for extremes in that small grim shop. A woman that had no children had +exchanged with an impoverished half-maddened creature with twelve. On +one occasion a man had exchanged wisdom for folly. + +"Why on earth did he do that?" I said. + +"None of my business," the old man answered in his heavy indolent way. +He merely took his twenty francs from each and ratified the agreement +in the little room at the back opening out of the shop where his +clients do business. Apparently the man that had parted with wisdom +had left the shop upon the tips of his toes with a happy though +foolish expression all over his face, but the other went thoughtfully +away wearing a troubled and very puzzled look. Almost always it seemed +they did business in opposite evils. + +But the thing that puzzled me most in all my talks with that unwieldy +man, the thing that puzzles me still, is that none that had once done +business in that shop ever returned again; a man might come day after +day for many weeks, but once do business and he never returned; so +much the old man told me, but when I asked him why, he only muttered +that he did not know. + +It was to discover the wherefore of this strange thing and for no +other reason at all that I determined myself to do business sooner or +later in the little room at the back of that mysterious shop. I +determined to exchange some very trivial evil for some evil equally +slight, to seek for myself an advantage so very small as scarcely to +give Fate as it were a grip, for I deeply distrusted these bargains, +knowing well that man has never yet benefited by the marvellous and +that the more miraculous his advantage appears to be the more securely +and tightly do the gods or the witches catch him. In a few days more I +was going back to England and I was beginning to fear that I should be +sea-sick: this fear of sea-sickness, not the actual malady but only +the mere fear of it, I decided to exchange for a suitably little evil. +I did not know with whom I should be dealing, who in reality was the +head of the firm (one never does when shopping) but I decided that +neither Jew nor Devil could make very much on so small a bargain as +that. + +I told the old man my project, and he scoffed at the smallness of my +commodity trying to urge me to some darker bargain, but could not move +me from my purpose. And then he told me tales with a somewhat boastful +air of the big business, the great bargains that had passed through +his hands. A man had once run in there to try and exchange death, he +had swallowed poison by accident and had only twelve hours to live. +That sinister old man had been able to oblige him. A client was +willing to exchange the commodity. + +"But what did he give in exchange for death?" I said. + +"Life," said that grim old man with a furtive chuckle. + +"It must have been a horrible life," I said. + +"That was not my affair," the proprietor said, lazily rattling +together as he spoke a little pocketful of twenty-franc pieces. + +Strange business I watched in that shop for the next few days, the +exchange of odd commodities, and heard strange mutterings in corners +amongst couples who presently rose and went to the back room, the old +man following to ratify. + +Twice a day for a week I paid my twenty francs, watching life with its +great needs and its little needs morning and afternoon spread out +before me in all its wonderful variety. + +And one day I met a comfortable man with only a little need, he seemed +to have the very evil I wanted. He always feared the lift was going to +break. I knew too much of hydraulics to fear things as silly as that, +but it was not my business to cure his ridiculous fear. Very few words +were needed to convince him that mine was the evil for him, he never +crossed the sea, and I on the other hand could always walk upstairs, +and I also felt at the time, as many must feel in that shop, that so +absurd a fear could never trouble me. And yet at times it is almost +the curse of my life. When we both had signed the parchment in the +spidery back room and the old man had signed and ratified (for which +we had to pay him fifty francs each) I went back to my hotel, and +there I saw the deadly thing in the basement. They asked me if I would +go upstairs in the lift, from force of habit I risked it, and I held +my breath all the way and clenched my hands. Nothing will induce me to +try such a journey again. I would sooner go up to my room in a +balloon. And why? Because if a balloon goes wrong you have a chance, +it may spread out into a parachute after it has burst, it may catch in +a tree, a hundred and one things may happen, but if the lift falls +down its shaft you are done. As for sea-sickness I shall never be sick +again, I cannot tell you why except that I know that it is so. + +And the shop in which I made this remarkable bargain, the shop to +which none return when their business is done: I set out for it next +day. Blindfold I could have found my way to the unfashionable quarter +out of which a mean street runs, where you take the alley at the end, +whence runs the cul de sac where the queer shop stood. A shop with +pillars, fluted and painted red, stands on its near side, its other +neighbour is a low-class jeweller's with little silver brooches in the +window. In such incongruous company stood the shop with beams with its +walls painted green. + +In half an hour I found the cul de sac to which I had gone twice a day +for the last week, I found the shop with the ugly painted pillars and +the jeweller that sold brooches, but the green house with the three +beams was gone. + +Pulled down, you will say, although in a single night. That can never +be the answer to the mystery, for the house of the fluted pillars +painted on plaster and the low-class jeweller's shop with its silver +brooches (all of which I could identify one by one) were standing side +by side. + + + + + +A Story of Land and Sea + +It is written in the first Book of Wonder how Captain Shard of the bad +ship Desperate Lark, having looted the sea-coast city Bombasharna, +retired from active life; and resigning piracy to younger men, with +the good will of the North and South Atlantic, settled down with a +captured queen on his floating island. + +Sometimes he sank a ship for the sake of old times but he no longer +hovered along the trade-routes; and timid merchants watched for other +men. + +It was not age that caused him to leave his romantic profession; nor +unworthiness of its traditions, nor gun-shot wound, nor drink; but +grim necessity and force majeure. Five navies were after him. How he +gave them the slip one day in the Mediterranean, how he fought with +the Arabs, how a ship's broadside was heard in Lat. 23 N. Long. 4 E. +for the first time and the last, with other things unknown to +Admiralties, I shall proceed to tell. + +He had had his fling, had Shard, captain of pirates, and all his merry +men wore pearls in their ear-rings; and now the English fleet was +after him under full sail along the coast of Spain with a good North +wind behind them. They were not gaining much on Shard's rakish craft, +the bad ship Desperate Lark, yet they were closer than was to his +liking, and they interfered with business. + +For a day and a night they had chased him, when off Cape St. Vincent +at about six a.m. Shard took that step that decided his retirement +from active life, he turned for the Mediterranean. Had he held on +Southwards down the African coast it is doubtful whether in face of +the interference of England, Russia, France, Denmark and Spain, he +could have made piracy pay; but in turning for the Mediterranean he +took what we may call the penultimate step of his life which meant for +him settling down. There were three great courses of action invented +by Shard in his youth, upon which he pondered by day and brooded by +night, consolations in all his dangers, secret even from his men, +three means of escape as he hoped from any peril that might meet him +on the sea. One of these was the floating island that the Book of +Wonder tells of, another was so fantastic that we may doubt if even +the brilliant audacity of Shard could ever have found it practicable, +at least he never tried it so far as is known in that tavern by the +sea in which I glean my news, and the third he determined on carrying +out as he turned that morning for the Mediterranean. True he might yet +have practised piracy in spite of the step that he took, a little +later when the seas grew quiet, but that penultimate step was like +that small house in the country that the business man has his eye on, +like some snug investment put away for old age, there are certain +final courses in men's lives which after taking they never go back to +business. + +He turned then for the Mediterranean with the English fleet behind +him, and his men wondered. + +What madness was this,--muttered Bill the Boatswain in Old Frank's +only ear, with the French fleet waiting in the Gulf of Lyons and the +Spaniards all the way between Sardinia and Tunis: for they knew the +Spaniards' ways. And they made a deputation and waited upon Captain +Shard, all of them sober and wearing their costly clothes, and they +said that the Mediterranean was a trap, and all he said was that the +North wind should hold. And the crew said they were done. + +So they entered the Mediterranean and the English fleet came up and +closed the straits. And Shard went tacking along the Moroccan coast +with a dozen frigates behind him. And the North wind grew in strength. +And not till evening did he speak to his crew, and then he gathered +them all together except the man at the helm, and politely asked them +to come down to the hold. And there he showed them six immense steel +axles and a dozen low iron wheels of enormous width which none had +seen before; and he told his crew how all unknown to the world his +keel had been specially fitted for these same axles and wheels, and +how he meant soon to sail to the wide Atlantic again, though not by +the way of the straits. And when they heard the name of the Atlantic +all his merry men cheered, for they looked on the Atlantic as a wide +safe sea. + +And night came down and Captain Shard sent for his diver. With the sea +getting up it was hard work for the diver, but by midnight things were +done to Shard's satisfaction, and the diver said that of all the jobs +he had done--but finding no apt comparison, and being in need of a +drink, silence fell on him and soon sleep, and his comrades carried +him away to his hammock. All the next day the chase went on with the +English well in sight, for Shard had lost time overnight with his +wheels and axles, and the danger of meeting the Spaniards increased +every hour; and evening came when every minute seemed dangerous, yet +they still went tacking on towards the East where they knew the +Spaniards must be. + +And at last they sighted their topsails right ahead, and still Shard +went on. It was a close thing, but night was coming on, and the Union +Jack which he hoisted helped Shard with the Spaniards for the last few +anxious minutes, though it seemed to anger the English, but as Shard +said, "There's no pleasing everyone," and then the twilight shivered +into darkness. + +"Hard to starboard," said Captain Shard. + +The North wind which had risen all day was now blowing a gale. I do +not know what part of the coast Shard steered for, but Shard knew, for +the coasts of the world were to him what Margate is to some of us. + +At a place where the desert rolling up from mystery and from death, +yea, from the heart of Africa, emerges upon the sea, no less grand +than her, no less terrible, even there they sighted the land quite +close, almost in darkness. Shard ordered every man to the hinder part +of the ship and all the ballast too; and soon the Desperate Lark, her +prow a little high out of the water, doing her eighteen knots before +the wind, struck a sandy beach and shuddered, she heeled over a +little, then righted herself, and slowly headed into the interior of +Africa. + +The men would have given three cheers, but after the first Shard +silenced them and, steering the ship himself, he made them a short +speech while the broad wheels pounded slowly over the African sand, +doing barely five knots in a gale. The perils of the sea he said had +been greatly exaggerated. Ships had been sailing the sea for hundreds +of years and at sea you knew what to do, but on land this was +different. They were on land now and they were not to forget it. At +sea you might make as much noise as you pleased and no harm was done, +but on land anything might happen. One of the perils of the land that +he instanced was that of hanging. For every hundred men that they hung +on land, he said, not more than twenty would be hung at sea. The men +were to sleep at their guns. They would not go far that night; for the +risk of being wrecked at night was another danger peculiar to the +land, while at sea you might sail from set of sun till dawn: yet it +was essential to get out of sight of the sea for if anyone knew they +were there they'd have cavalry after them. And he had sent back +Smerdrak (a young lieutenant of pirates) to cover their tracks where +they came up from the sea. And the merry men vigorously nodded their +heads though they did not dare to cheer, and presently Smerdrak came +running up and they threw him a rope by the stern. And when they had +done fifteen knots they anchored, and Captain Shard gathered his men +about him and, standing by the land-wheel in the bows, under the large +and clear Algerian stars, he explained his system of steering. There +was not much to be said for it, he had with considerable ingenuity +detached and pivoted the portion of the keel that held the leading +axle and could move it by chains which were controlled from the +land-wheel, thus the front pair of wheels could be deflected at will, +but only very slightly, and they afterwards found that in a hundred +yards they could only turn their ship four yards from her course. But +let not captains of comfortable battleships, or owners even of yachts, +criticise too harshly a man who was not of their time and who knew not +modern contrivances; it should be remembered also that Shard was no +longer at sea. His steering may have been clumsy but he did what he +could. + +When the use and limitations of his land-wheel had been made clear to +his men, Shard bade them all turn in except those on watch. Long +before dawn he woke them and by the very first gleam of light they got +their ship under way, so that when those two fleets that had made so +sure of Shard closed in like a great crescent on the Algerian coast +there was no sign to see of the Desperate Lark either on sea or land; +and the flags of the Admiral's ship broke out into a hearty English +oath. + +The gale blew for three days and, Shard using more sail by daylight, +they scudded over the sands at little less than ten knots, though on +the report of rough water ahead (as the lookout man called rocks, low +hills or uneven surface before he adapted himself to his new +surroundings) the rate was much decreased. Those were long summer days +and Shard who was anxious while the wind held good to outpace the +rumour of his own appearance sailed for nineteen hours a day, lying to +at ten in the evening and hoisting sail again at three a.m. when it +first began to be light. + +In those three days he did five hundred miles; then the wind dropped +to a breeze though it still blew from the North, and for a week they +did no more than two knots an hour. The merry men began to murmur +then. Luck had distinctly favoured Shard at first for it sent him at +ten knots through the only populous districts well ahead of crowds +except those who chose to run, and the cavalry were away on a local +raid. As for the runners they soon dropped off when Shard pointed his +cannon though he did not dare to fire, up there near the coast; for +much as he jeered at the intelligence of the English and Spanish +Admirals in not suspecting his manoeuvre, the only one as he said that +was possible in the circumstances, yet he knew that cannon had an +obvious sound which would give his secret away to the weakest mind. +Certainly luck had befriended him, and when it did so no longer he +made out of the occasion all that could be made; for instance while +the wind held good he had never missed opportunities to revictual, if +he passed by a village its pigs and poultry were his, and whenever he +passed by water he filled his tanks to the brim, and now that he could +only do two knots he sailed all night with a man and a lantern before +him: thus in that week he did close on four hundred miles while +another man would have anchored at night and have missed five or six +hours out of the twenty-four. Yet his men murmured. Did he think the +wind would last for ever, they said. And Shard only smoked. It was +clear that he was thinking, and thinking hard. "But what is he +thinking about?" said Bill to Bad Jack. And Bad Jack answered: "He may +think as hard as he likes but thinking won't get us out of the Sahara +if this wind were to drop." + +And towards the end of that week Shard went to his chart-room and laid +a new course for his ship a little to the East and towards +cultivation. And one day towards evening they sighted a village, and +twilight came and the wind dropped altogether. Then the murmurs of the +merry men grew to oaths and nearly to mutiny. "Where were they now?" +they asked, and were they being treated like poor honest men? + +Shard quieted them by asking what they wished to do themselves and +when no one had any better plan than going to the villagers and saying +that they had been blown out of their course by a storm, Shard +unfolded his scheme to them. Long ago he had heard how they drove +carts with oxen in Africa, oxen were very numerous in these parts +wherever there was any cultivation, and for this reason when the wind +had begun to drop he had laid his course for the village: that night +the moment it was dark they were to drive off fifty yoke of oxen; by +midnight they must all be yoked to the bows and then away they would +go at a good round gallop. + +So fine a plan as this astonished the men and they all apologised for +their want of faith in Shard, shaking hands with him every one and +spitting on their hands before they did so in token of good will. + +The raid that night succeeded admirably, but ingenious as Shard was on +land, and a past-master at sea, yet it must be admitted that lack of +experience in this class of seamanship led him to make a mistake, a +slight one it is true, and one that a little practice would have +prevented altogether: the oxen could not gallop. Shard swore at them, +threatened them with his pistol, said they should have no food, and +all to no avail: that night and as long as they pulled the bad ship +Desperate Lark they did one knot an hour and no more. Shard's failures +like everything that came his way were used as stones in the edifice +of his future success, he went at once to his chart-room and worked +out all his calculations anew. + +The matter of the oxen's pace made pursuit impossible to avoid. Shard +therefore countermanded his order to his lieutenant to cover the +tracks in the sand, and the Desperate Lark plodded on into the Sahara +on her new course trusting to her guns. + +The village was not a large one and the little crowd that was sighted +astern next morning disappeared after the first shot from the cannon +in the stern. At first Shard made the oxen wear rough iron bits, +another of his mistakes, and strong bits too. "For if they run away," +he had said, "we might as well be driving before a gale and there's no +saying where we'd find ourselves," but after a day or two he found +that the bits were no good and, like the practical man he was, +immediately corrected his mistake. + +And now the crew sang merry songs all day bringing out mandolins and +clarionets and cheering Captain Shard. All were jolly except the +captain himself whose face was moody and perplexed; he alone expected +to hear more of those villagers; and the oxen were drinking up the +water every day, he alone feared that there was no more to be had, and +a very unpleasant fear that is when your ship is becalmed in a desert. +For over a week they went on like this doing ten knots a day and the +music and singing got on the captain's nerves, but he dared not tell +his men what the trouble was. And then one day the oxen drank up the +last of the water. And Lieutenant Smerdrak came and reported the fact. + +"Give them rum," said Shard, and he cursed the oxen. "What is good +enough for me," he said, "should be good enough for them," and he +swore that they should have rum. + +"Aye, aye, sir," said the young lieutenant of pirates. + +Shard should not be judged by the orders he gave that day, for nearly +a fortnight he had watched the doom that was coming slowly towards +him, discipline cut him off from anyone that might have shared his +fear and discussed it, and all the while he had had to navigate his +ship, which even at sea is an arduous responsibility. These things had +fretted the calm of that clear judgment that had once baffled five +navies. Therefore he cursed the oxen and ordered them rum, and +Smerdrak had said "Aye, aye, sir," and gone below. + +Towards sunset Shard was standing on the poop, thinking of death; it +would not come to him by thirst; mutiny first, he thought. The oxen +were refusing rum for the last time, and the men were beginning to eye +Captain Shard in a very ominous way, not muttering, but each man +looking at him with a sidelong look of the eye as though there were +only one thought among them all that had no need of words. A score of +geese like a long letter "V" were crossing the evening sky, they +slanted their necks and all went twisting downwards somewhere about +the horizon. Captain Shard rushed to his chart-room, and presently the +men came in at the door with Old Frank in front looking awkward and +twisting his cap in his hand. + +"What is it?" said Shard as though nothing were wrong. + +Then Old Frank said what he had come to say: "We want to know what you +be going to do." + +And the men nodded grimly. + +"Get water for the oxen," said Captain Shard, "as the swine won't have +rum, and they'll have to work for it, the lazy beasts. Up anchor!" + +And at the word water a look came into their faces like when some +wanderer suddenly thinks of home. + +"Water!" they said. + +"Why not?" said Captain Shard. And none of them ever knew that but for +those geese, that slanted their necks and suddenly twisted downwards, +they would have found no water that night nor ever after, and the +Sahara would have taken them as she has taken so many and shall take +so many more. All that night they followed their new course: at dawn +they found an oasis and the oxen drank. + +And here, on this green acre or so with its palm-trees and its well, +beleaguered by thousands of miles of desert and holding out through +the ages, here they decided to stay: for those who have been without +water for a while in one of Africa's deserts come to have for that +simple fluid such a regard as you, O reader, might not easily credit. +And here each man chose a site where he would build his hut, and +settle down, and marry perhaps, and even forget the sea; when Captain +Shard having filled his tanks and barrels peremptorily ordered them to +weigh anchor. There was much dissatisfaction, even some grumbling, but +when a man has twice saved his fellows from death by the sheer +freshness of his mind they come to have a respect for his judgment +that is not shaken by trifles. It must be remembered that in the +affair of the dropping of the wind and again when they ran out of +water these men were at their wits' end: so was Shard on the last +occasion, but that they did not know. All this Shard knew, and he +chose this occasion to strengthen the reputation that he had in the +minds of the men of that bad ship by explaining to them his motives, +which usually he kept secret. The oasis he said must be a port of call +for all the travellers within hundreds of miles: how many men did you +see gathered together in any part of the world where there was a drop +of whiskey to be had! And water here was rarer than whiskey in decent +countries and, such was the peculiarity of the Arabs, even more +precious. Another thing he pointed out to them, the Arabs were a +singularly inquisitive people and if they came upon a ship in the +desert they would probably talk about it; and the world having a +wickedly malicious tongue would never construe in its proper light +their difference with the English and Spanish fleets, but would merely +side with the strong against the weak. + +And the men sighed, and sang the capstan song and hoisted the anchor +and yoked the oxen up, and away they went doing their steady knot, +which nothing could increase. It may be thought strange that with all +sail furled in dead calm and while the oxen rested they should have +cast anchor at all. But custom is not easily overcome and long +survives its use. Rather enquire how many such useless customs we +ourselves preserve: the flaps for instance to pull up the tops of +hunting-boots though the tops no longer pull up, the bows on our +evening shoes that neither tie nor untie. They said they felt safer +that way and there was an end of it. + +Shard lay a course of South by West and they did ten knots that day, +the next day they did seven or eight and Shard hove to. Here he +intended to stop, they had huge supplies of fodder on board for the +oxen, for his men he had a pig or so, plenty of poultry, several sacks +of biscuits and ninety-eight oxen (for two were already eaten), and +they were only twenty miles from water. Here he said they would stay +till folks forgot their past, someone would invent something or some +new thing would turn up to take folks' minds off them and the ships he +had sunk: he forgot that there are men who are well paid to remember. + +Half way between him and the oasis he established a little depot where +he buried his water-barrels. As soon as a barrel was empty he sent +half a dozen men to roll it by turns to the depot. This they would do +at night, keeping hid by day, and next night they would push on to the +oasis, fill the barrel and roll it back. Thus only ten miles away he +soon had a store of water, unknown to the thirstiest native of Africa, +from which he could safely replenish his tanks at will. He allowed his +men to sing and even within reason to light fires. Those were jolly +nights while the rum held out; sometimes they saw gazelles watching +them curiously, sometimes a lion went by over the sand, the sound of +his roar added to their sense of the security of their ship; all round +them level, immense lay the Sahara: "This is better than an English +prison," said Captain Shard. + +And still the dead calm lasted, not even the sand whispered at night +to little winds; and when the rum gave out and it looked like trouble, +Shard reminded them what little use it had been to them when it was +all they had and the oxen wouldn't look at it. + +And the days wore on with singing, and even dancing at times, and at +nights round a cautious fire in a hollow of sand with only one man on +watch they told tales of the sea. It was all a relief after arduous +watches and sleeping by the guns, a rest to strained nerves and eyes; +and all agreed, for all that they missed their rum, that the best +place for a ship like theirs was the land. + +This was in Latitude 23 North, Longitude 4 East, where, as I have +said, a ship's broadside was heard for the first time and the last. It +happened this way. + +They had been there several weeks and had eaten perhaps ten or a dozen +oxen and all that while there had been no breath of wind and they had +seen no one: when one morning about two bells when the crew were at +breakfast the lookout man reported cavalry on the port side. Shard who +had already surrounded his ship with sharpened stakes ordered all his +men on board, the young trumpeter who prided himself on having picked +up the ways of the land, sounded "Prepare to receive cavalry". Shard +sent a few men below with pikes to the lower port-holes, two more +aloft with muskets, the rest to the guns, he changed the "grape" or +"canister" with which the guns were loaded in case of surprise, for +shot, cleared the decks, drew in ladders, and before the cavalry came +within range everything was ready for them. The oxen were always yoked +in order that Shard could manoeuvre his ship at a moment's notice. + +When first sighted the cavalry were trotting but they were coming on +now at a slow canter. Arabs in white robes on good horses. Shard +estimated that there were two or three hundred of them. At sixty yards +Shard opened with one gun, he had had the distance measured, but had +never practised for fear of being heard at the oasis: the shot went +high. The next one fell short and ricochetted over the Arabs' heads. +Shard had the range then and by the time the ten remaining guns of his +broadside were given the same elevation as that of his second gun the +Arabs had come to the spot where the last shot pitched. The broadside +hit the horses, mostly low, and ricochetted on amongst them; one +cannon-ball striking a rock at the horses' feet shattered it and sent +fragments flying amongst the Arabs with the peculiar scream of things +set free by projectiles from their motionless harmless state, and the +cannon-ball went on with them with a great howl, this shot alone +killed three men. + +"Very satisfactory," said Shard rubbing his chin. "Load with grape," +he added sharply. + +The broadside did not stop the Arabs nor even reduce their speed but +they crowded in closer together as though for company in their time of +danger, which they should not have done. They were four hundred yards +off now, three hundred and fifty; and then the muskets began, for the +two men in the crow's-nest had thirty loaded muskets besides a few +pistols, the muskets all stood round them leaning against the rail; +they picked them up and fired them one by one. Every shot told, but +still the Arabs came on. They were galloping now. It took some time to +load the guns in those days. Three hundred yards, two hundred and +fifty, men dropping all the way, two hundred yards; Old Frank for all +his one ear had terrible eyes; it was pistols now, they had fired all +their muskets; a hundred and fifty; Shard had marked the fifties with +little white stones. Old Frank and Bad Jack up aloft felt pretty +uneasy when they saw the Arabs had come to that little white stone, +they both missed their shots. + +"All ready?" said Captain Shard. + +"Aye, aye, sir," said Smerdrak. + +"Right," said Captain Shard raising a finger. + +A hundred and fifty yards is a bad range at which to be caught by +grape (or "case" as we call it now), the gunners can hardly miss and +the charge has time to spread. Shard estimated afterwards that he got +thirty Arabs by that broadside alone and as many horses. + +There were close on two hundred of them still on their horses, yet the +broadside of grape had unsettled them, they surged round the ship but +seemed doubtful what to do. They carried swords and scimitars in their +hands, though most had strange long muskets slung behind them, a few +unslung them and began firing wildly. They could not reach Shard's +merry men with their swords. Had it not been for that broadside that +took them when it did they might have climbed up from their horses and +carried the bad ship by sheer force of numbers, but they would have +had to have been very steady, and the broadside spoiled all that. +Their best course was to have concentrated all their efforts in +setting fire to the ship but this they did not attempt. Part of them +swarmed all round the ship brandishing their swords and looking vainly +for an easy entrance; perhaps they expected a door, they were not +sea-faring people; but their leaders were evidently set on driving off +the oxen not dreaming that the Desperate Lark had other means of +travelling. And this to some extent they succeeded in doing. Thirty +they drove off, cutting the traces, twenty they killed on the spot +with their scimitars though the bow gun caught them twice as they did +their work, and ten more were unluckily killed by Shard's bow gun. +Before they could fire a third time from the bows they all galloped +away, firing back at the oxen with their muskets and killing three +more, and what troubled Shard more than the loss of his oxen was the +way that they manoeuvred, galloping off just when the bow gun was +ready and riding off by the port bow where the broadside could not get +them, which seemed to him to show more knowledge of guns than they +could have learned on that bright morning. What, thought Shard to +himself, if they should bring big guns against the Desperate Lark! And +the mere thought of it made him rail at Fate. But the merry men all +cheered when they rode away. Shard had only twenty-two oxen left, and +then a score or so of the Arabs dismounted while the rest rode further +on leading their horses. And the dismounted men lay down on the port +bow behind some rocks two hundred yards away and began to shoot at the +oxen. Shard had just enough of them left to manoeuvre his ship with an +effort and he turned his ship a few points to the starboard so as to +get a broadside at the rocks. But grape was of no use here as the only +way he could get an Arab was by hitting one of the rocks with shot +behind which an Arab was lying, and the rocks were not easy to hit +except by chance, and as often as he manoeuvred his ship the Arabs +changed their ground. This went on all day while the mounted Arabs +hovered out of range watching what Shard would do; and all the while +the oxen were growing fewer, so good a mark were they, until only ten +were left, and the ship could manoeuvre no longer. But then they all +rode off. + +The merry men were delighted, they calculated that one way and another +they had unhorsed a hundred Arabs and on board there had been no more +than one man wounded: Bad Jack had been hit in the wrist; probably by +a bullet meant for the men at the guns, for the Arabs were firing +high. They had captured a horse and had found quaint weapons on the +bodies of the dead Arabs and an interesting kind of tobacco. It was +evening now and they talked over the fight, made jokes about their +luckier shots, smoked their new tobacco and sang; altogether it was +the jolliest evening they'd had. But Shard alone on the quarter-deck +paced to and fro pondering, brooding and wondering. He had chopped off +Bad Jack's wounded hand and given him a hook out of store, for captain +does doctor upon these occasions and Shard, who was ready for most +things, kept half a dozen or so of neat new limbs, and of course a +chopper. Bad Jack had gone below swearing a little and said he'd lie +down for a bit, the men were smoking and singing on the sand, and +Shard was there alone. The thought that troubled Shard was: what would +the Arabs do? They did not look like men to go away for nothing. And +at back of all his thoughts was one that reiterated guns, guns, guns. +He argued with himself that they could not drag them all that way on +the sand, that the Desperate Lark was not worth it, that they had +given it up. Yet he knew in his heart that that was what they would +do. He knew there were fortified towns in Africa, and as for its being +worth it, he knew that there was no pleasant thing left now to those +defeated men except revenge, and if the Desperate Lark had come over +the sand why not guns? He knew that the ship could never hold out +against guns and cavalry, a week perhaps, two weeks, even three: what +difference did it make how long it was, and the men sang: + + Away we go, Oho, Oho, Oho, + A drop of rum for you and me + And the world's as round as the letter O + And round it runs the sea. + +A melancholy settled down on Shard. + +About sunset Lieutenant Smerdrak came up for orders. Shard ordered a +trench to be dug along the port side of the ship. The men wanted to +sing and grumbled at having to dig, especially as Shard never +mentioned his fear of guns, but he fingered his pistols and in the end +Shard had his way. No one on board could shoot like Captain Shard. +That is often the way with captains of pirate ships, it is a difficult +position to hold. Discipline is essential to those that have the right +to fly the skull-and-cross-bones, and Shard was the man to enforce it. +It was starlight by the time the trench was dug to the captain's +satisfaction and the men that it was to protect when the worst came to +the worst swore all the time as they dug. And when it was finished +they clamoured to make a feast on some of the killed oxen, and this +Shard let them do. And they lit a huge fire for the first time, +burning abundant scrub, they thinking that Arabs daren't return, Shard +knowing that concealment was now useless. All that night they feasted +and sang, and Shard sat up in his chart-room making his plans. + +When morning came they rigged up the cutter as they called the +captured horse and told off her crew. As there were only two men that +could ride at all these became the crew of the cutter. Spanish Dick +and Bill the Boatswain were the two. + +Shard's orders were that turn and turn about they should take command +of the cutter and cruise about five miles off to the North East all +the day but at night they were to come in. And they fitted the horse +up with a flagstaff in front of the saddle so that they could signal +from her, and carried an anchor behind for fear she should run away. + +And as soon as Spanish Dick had ridden off Shard sent some men to roll +all the barrels back from the depot where they were buried in the +sand, with orders to watch the cutter all the time and, if she +signalled, to return as fast as they could. + +They buried the Arabs that day, removing their water-bottles and any +provisions they had, and that night they got all the water-barrels in, +and for days nothing happened. One event of extraordinary importance +did indeed occur, the wind got up one day, but it was due South, and +as the oasis lay to the North of them and beyond that they might pick +up the camel track Shard decided to stay where he was. If it had +looked to him like lasting Shard might have hoisted sail but it it +dropped at evening as he knew it would, and in any case it was not the +wind he wanted. And more days went by, two weeks without a breeze. The +dead oxen would not keep and they had had to kill three more, there +were only seven left now. + +Never before had the men been so long without rum. And Captain Shard +had doubled the watch besides making two more men sleep at the guns. +They had tired of their simple games, and most of their songs, and +their tales that were never true were no longer new. And then one day +the monotony of the desert came down upon them. + +There is a fascination in the Sahara, a day there is delightful, a +week is pleasant, a fortnight is a matter of opinion, but it was +running into months. The men were perfectly polite but the boatswain +wanted to know when Shard thought of moving on. It was an unreasonable +question to ask of the captain of any ship in a dead calm in a desert, +but Shard said he would set a course and let him know in a day or two. +And a day or two went by over the monotony of the Sahara, who for +monotony is unequalled by all the parts of the earth. Great marshes +cannot equal it, nor plains of grass nor the sea, the Sahara alone +lies unaltered by the seasons, she has no altering surface, no flowers +to fade or grow, year in year out she is changeless for hundreds and +hundreds of miles. And the boatswain came again and took off his cap +and asked Captain Shard to be so kind as to tell them about his new +course. Shard said he meant to stay until they had eaten three more of +the oxen as they could only take three of them in the hold, there were +only six left now. But what if there was no wind, the boatswain said. +And at that moment the faintest breeze from the North ruffled the +boatswain's forelock as he stood with his cap in his hand. + +"Don't talk about the wind to _me_," said Captain Shard: and Bill was +a little frightened for Shard's mother had been a gipsy. + +But it was only a breeze astray, a trick of the Sahara. And another +week went by and they ate two more oxen. + +They obeyed Captain Shard ostentatiously now but they wore ominous +looks. Bill came again and Shard answered him in Romany. + +Things were like this one hot Sahara morning when the cutter +signalled. The lookout man told Shard and Shard read the message, +"Cavalry astern" it read, and then a little later she signalled, "With +guns." + +"Ah," said Captain Shard. + +One ray of hope Shard had; the flags on the cutter fluttered. For the +first time for five weeks a light breeze blew from the North, very +light, you hardly felt it. Spanish Dick rode in and anchored his horse +to starboard and the cavalry came on slowly from the port. + +Not till the afternoon did they come in sight, and all the while that +little breeze was blowing. + +"One knot," said Shard at noon. "Two knots," he said at six bells and +still it grew and the Arabs trotted nearer. By five o'clock the merry +men of the bad ship Desperate Lark could make out twelve long +old-fashioned guns on low wheeled carts dragged by horses and what +looked like lighter guns carried on camels. The wind was blowing a +little stronger now. "Shall we hoist sail, sir?" said Bill. + +"Not yet," said Shard. + +By six o'clock the Arabs were just outside the range of cannon and +there they halted. Then followed an anxious hour or so, but the Arabs +came no nearer. They evidently meant to wait till dark to bring their +guns up. Probably they intended to dig a gun epaulment from which they +could safely pound away at the ship. + +"We could do three knots," said Shard half to himself as he was +walking up and down his quarter-deck with very fast short paces. And +then the sun set and they heard the Arabs praying and Shard's merry +men cursed at the top of their voices to show that they were as good +men as they. + +The Arabs had come no nearer, waiting for night. They did not know how +Shard was longing for it too, he was gritting his teeth and sighing +for it, he even would have prayed, but that he feared that it might +remind Heaven of him and his merry men. + +Night came and the stars. "Hoist sail," said Shard. The men sprang to +their places, they had had enough of that silent lonely spot. They +took the oxen on board and let the great sails down, and like a lover +coming from over sea, long dreamed of, long expected, like a lost +friend seen again after many years, the North wind came into the +pirates' sails. And before Shard could stop it a ringing English cheer +went away to the wondering Arabs. + +They started off at three knots and soon they might have done four but +Shard would not risk it at night. All night the wind held good, and +doing three knots from ten to four they were far out of sight of the +Arabs when daylight came. And then Shard hoisted more sail and they +did four knots and by eight bells they were doing four and a half. The +spirits of those volatile men rose high, and discipline became +perfect. So long as there was wind in the sails and water in the tanks +Captain Shard felt safe at least from mutiny. Great men can only be +overthrown while their fortunes are at their lowest. Having failed to +depose Shard when his plans were open to criticism and he himself +scarce knew what to do next it was hardly likely they could do it now; +and whatever we think of his past and his way of living we cannot deny +that Shard was among the great men of the world. + +Of defeat by the Arabs he did not feel so sure. It was useless to try +to cover his tracks even if he had had time, the Arab cavalry could +have picked them up anywhere. And he was afraid of their camels with +those light guns on board, he had heard they could do seven knots and +keep it up most of the day and if as much as one shot struck the +mainmast... and Shard taking his mind off useless fears worked out on +his chart when the Arabs were likely to overtake them. He told his men +that the wind would hold good for a week, and, gipsy or no, he +certainly knew as much about the wind as is good for a sailor to know. + +Alone in his chart-room he worked it out like this, mark two hours to +the good for surprise and finding the tracks and delay in starting, +say three hours if the guns were mounted in their epaulments, then the +Arabs should start at seven. Supposing the camels go twelve hours a +day at seven knots they would do eighty-four knots a day, while Shard +doing three knots from ten to four, and four knots the rest of the +time, was doing ninety and actually gaining. But when it came to it he +wouldn't risk more than two knots at night while the enemy were out of +sight, for he rightly regarded anything more than that as dangerous +when sailing on land at night, so he too did eighty-four knots a day. +It was a pretty race. I have not troubled to see if Shard added up his +figures wrongly or if he under-rated the pace of camels, but whatever +it was the Arabs gained slightly, for on the fourth day Spanish Jack, +five knots astern on what they called the cutter, sighted the camels a +very long way off and signalled the fact to Shard. They had left their +cavalry behind as Shard supposed they would. The wind held good, they +had still two oxen left and could always eat their "cutter", and they +had a fair, though not ample, supply of water, but the appearance of +the Arabs was a blow to Shard for it showed him that there was no +getting away from them, and of all things he dreaded guns. He made +light of it to the men: said they would sink the lot before they had +been in action half an hour: yet he feared that once the guns came up +it was only a question of time before his rigging was cut or his +steering gear disabled. + +One point the Desperate Lark scored over the Arabs and a very good one +too, darkness fell just before they could have sighted her and now +Shard used the lantern ahead as he dared not do on the first night +when the Arabs were close, and with the help of it managed to do three +knots. The Arabs encamped in the evening and the Desperate Lark gained +twenty knots. But the next evening they appeared again and this time +they saw the sails of the Desperate Lark. + +On the sixth day they were close. On the seventh they were closer. And +then, a line of verdure across their bows, Shard saw the Niger River. + +Whether he knew that for a thousand miles it rolled its course through +forest, whether he even knew that it was there at all; what his plans +were, or whether he lived from day to day like a man whose days are +numbered he never told his men. Nor can I get an indication on this +point from the talk that I hear from sailors in their cups in a +certain tavern I know of. His face was expressionless, his mouth shut, +and he held his ship to her course. That evening they were up to the +edge of the tree trunks and the Arabs camped and waited ten knots +astern and the wind had sunk a little. + +There Shard anchored a little before sunset and landed at once. At +first he explored the forest a little on foot. Then he sent for +Spanish Dick. They had slung the cutter on board some days ago when +they found she could not keep up. Shard could not ride but he sent for +Spanish Dick and told him he must take him as a passenger. So Spanish +Dick slung him in front of the saddle "before the mast" as Shard +called it, for they still carried a mast on the front of the saddle, +and away they galloped together. "Rough weather," said Shard, but he +surveyed the forest as he went and the long and short of it was he +found a place where the forest was less than half a mile thick and the +Desperate Lark might get through: but twenty trees must be cut. Shard +marked the trees himself, sent Spanish Dick right back to watch the +Arabs and turned the whole of his crew on to those twenty trees. It +was a frightful risk, the Desperate Lark was empty, with an enemy no +more than ten knots astern, but it was a moment for bold measures and +Shard took the chance of being left without his ship in the heart of +Africa in the hope of being repaid by escaping altogether. + +The men worked all night on those twenty trees, those that had no axes +bored with bradawls and blasted, and then relieved those that had. + +Shard was indefatigable, he went from tree to tree showing exactly +what way every one was to fall, and what was to be done with them when +they were down. Some had to be cut down because their branches would +get in the way of the masts, others because their trunks would be in +the way of the wheels; in the case of the last the stumps had to be +made smooth and low with saws and perhaps a bit of the trunk sawn off +and rolled away. This was the hardest work they had. And they were all +large trees, on the other hand had they been small there would have +been many more of them and they could not have sailed in and out, +sometimes for hundreds of yards, without cutting any at all: and all +this Shard calculated on doing if only there was time. + +The light before dawn came and it looked as if they would never do it +at all. And then dawn came and it was all done but one tree, the hard +part of the work had all been done in the night and a sort of final +rush cleared everything up except that one huge tree. And then the +cutter signalled the Arabs were moving. At dawn they had prayed, and +now they had struck their camp. Shard at once ordered all his men to +the ship except ten whom he left at the tree, they had some way to go +and the Arabs had been moving some ten minutes before they got there. +Shard took in the cutter which wasted five minutes, hoisted sail +short-handed and that took five minutes more, and slowly got under +way. + +The wind was dropping still and by the time the Desperate Lark had +come to the edge of that part of the forest through which Shard had +laid his course the Arabs were no more than five knots away. He had +sailed East half a mile, which he ought to have done overnight so as +to be ready, but he could not spare time or thought or men away from +those twenty trees. Then Shard turned into the forest and the Arabs +were dead astern. They hurried when they saw the Desperate Lark enter +the forest. + +"Doing ten knots," said Shard as he watched them from the deck. The +Desperate Lark was doing no more than a knot and a half for the wind +was weak under the lee of the trees. Yet all went well for a while. +The big tree had just come down some way ahead, and the ten men were +sawing bits off the trunk. + +And then Shard saw a branch that he had not marked on the chart, it +would just catch the top of the mainmast. He anchored at once and sent +a hand aloft who sawed it half way through and did the rest with a +pistol, and now the Arabs were only three knots astern. For a quarter +of a mile Shard steered them through the forest till they came to the +ten men and that bad big tree, another foot had yet to come off one +corner of the stump for the wheels had to pass over it. Shard turned +all hands on to the stump and it was then that the Arabs came within +shot. But they had to unpack their gun. And before they had it mounted +Shard was away. If they had charged things might have been different. +When they saw the Desperate Lark under way again the Arabs came on to +within three hundred yards and there they mounted two guns. Shard +watched them along his stern gun but would not fire. They were six +hundred yards away before the Arabs could fire and then they fired too +soon and both guns missed. And Shard and his merry men saw clear water +only ten fathoms ahead. Then Shard loaded his stern gun with canister +instead of shot and at the same moment the Arabs charged on their +camels; they came galloping down through the forest waving long +lances. Shard left the steering to Smerdrak and stood by the stern +gun, the Arabs were within fifty yards and still Shard did not fire; +he had most of his men in the stern with muskets beside him. Those +lances carried on camels were altogether different from swords in the +hands of horsemen, they could reach the men on deck. The men could see +the horrible barbs on the lanceheads, they were almost at their faces +when Shard fired, and at the same moment the Desperate Lark with her +dry and suncracked keel in air on the high bank of the Niger fell +forward like a diver. The gun went off through the tree-tops, a wave +came over the bows and swept the stern, the Desperate Lark wriggled +and righted herself, she was back in her element. + +The merry men looked at the wet decks and at their dripping +clothes. "Water," they said almost wonderingly. + +The Arabs followed a little way through the forest but when they saw +that they had to face a broadside instead of one stern gun and +perceived that a ship afloat is less vulnerable to cavalry even than +when on shore, they abandoned ideas of revenge, and comforted +themselves with a text out of their sacred book which tells how in +other days and other places our enemies shall suffer even as we +desire. + +For a thousand miles with the flow of the Niger and the help of +occasional winds, the Desperate Lark moved seawards. At first he +sweeps East a little and then Southwards, till you come to Akassa and +the open sea. + +I will not tell you how they caught fish and ducks, raided a village +here and there and at last came to Akassa, for I have said much +already of Captain Shard. Imagine them drawing nearer and nearer the +sea, bad men all, and yet with a feeling for something where we feel +for our king, our country or our home, a feeling for something that +burned in them not less ardently than our feelings in us, and that +something the sea. Imagine them nearing it till sea birds appeared and +they fancied they felt sea breezes and all sang songs again that they +had not sung for weeks. Imagine them heaving at last on the salt +Atlantic again. + +I have said much already of Captain Shard and I fear lest I shall +weary you, O my reader, if I tell you any more of so bad a man. I too +at the top of a tower all alone am weary. + +And yet it is right that such a tale should be told. A journey almost +due South from near Algiers to Akassa in a ship that we should call no +more than a yacht. Let it be a stimulus to younger men. + + + Guarantee To The Reader + +Since writing down for your benefit, O my reader, all this long tale +that I heard in the tavern by the sea I have travelled in Algeria and +Tunisia as well as in the Desert. Much that I saw in those countries +seems to throw doubt on the tale that the sailor told me. To begin +with the Desert does not come within hundreds of miles of the coast +and there are more mountains to cross than you would suppose, the +Atlas mountains in particular. It is just possible Shard might have +got through by El Cantara, following the camel road which is many +centuries old; or he may have gone by Algiers and Bou Saada and +through the mountain pass El Finita Dem, though that is a bad enough +way for camels to go (let alone bullocks with a ship) for which reason +the Arabs call it Finita Dem--the Path of Blood. + +I should not have ventured to give this story the publicity of print +had the sailor been sober when he told it, for fear that he I should +have deceived you, O my reader; but this was never the case with him +as I took good care to ensure: "in vino veritas" is a sound old +proverb, and I never had cause to doubt his word unless that proverb +lies. + +If it should prove that he has deceived me, let it pass; but if he has +been the means of deceiving you there are little things about him that +I know, the common gossip of that ancient tavern whose leaded +bottle-glass windows watch the sea, which I will tell at once to every +judge of my acquaintance, and it will be a pretty race to see which of +them will hang him. + +Meanwhile, O my reader, believe the story, resting assured that if you +are taken in the thing shall be a matter for the hangman. + + + + + +A Tale of the Equator + +He who is Sultan so remote to the East that his dominions were deemed +fabulous in Babylon, whose name is a by-word for distance today in the +streets of Bagdad, whose capital bearded travellers invoke by name in +the gate at evening to gather hearers to their tales when the smoke of +tobacco arises, dice rattle and taverns shine; even he in that very +city made mandate, and said: "Let there be brought hither all my +learned men that they may come before me and rejoice my heart with +learning." + +Men ran and clarions sounded, and it was so that there came before the +Sultan all of his learned men. And many were found wanting. But of +those that were able to say acceptable things, ever after to be named +The Fortunate, one said that to the South of the Earth lay a Land-- +said Land was crowned with lotus--where it was summer in our winter +days and where it was winter in summer. + +And when the Sultan of those most distant lands knew that the Creator +of All had contrived a device so vastly to his delight his merriment +knew no bounds. On a sudden he spake and said, and this was the gist +of his saying, that upon that line of boundary or limit that divided +the North from the South a palace be made, where in the Northern +courts should summer be, while in the South was winter; so should he +move from court to court according to his mood, and dally with the +summer in the morning and spend the noon with snow. So the Sultan's +poets were sent for and bade to tell of that city, foreseeing its +splendour far away to the South and in the future of time; and some +were found fortunate. And of those that were found fortunate and were +crowned with flowers none earned more easily the Sultan's smile (on +which long days depended) than he that foreseeing the city spake of it +thus: + +"In seven years and seven days, O Prop of Heaven, shall thy builders +build it, thy palace that is neither North nor South, where neither +summer nor winter is sole lord of the hours. White I see it, very +vast, as a city, very fair, as a woman, Earth's wonder, with many +windows, with thy princesses peering out at twilight; yea, I behold +the bliss of the gold balconies, and hear a rustling down long +galleries and the doves' coo upon its sculptured eaves. O Prop of +Heaven, would that so fair a city were built by thine ancient sires, +the children of the sun, that so might all men see it even today, and +not the poets only, whose vision sees it so far away to the South and +in the future of time. + +"O King of the Years, it shall stand midmost on that line that +divideth equally the North from the South and that parteth the seasons +asunder as with a screen. On the Northern side when summer is in the +North thy silken guards shall pace by dazzling walls while thy +spearsmen clad in furs go round the South. But at the hour of noon in +the midmost day of the year thy chamberlain shall go down from his +high place and into the midmost court, and men with trumpets shall go +down behind him, and he shall utter a great cry at noon, and the men +with trumpets shall cause their trumpets to blare, and the spearsmen +clad in furs shall march to the North and thy silken guard shall take +their place in the South, and summer shall leave the North and go to +the South, and all the swallows shall rise and follow after. And alone +in thine inner courts shall no change be, for they shall lie narrowly +along that line that parteth the seasons in sunder and divideth the +North from the South, and thy long gardens shall lie under them. + +"And in thy gardens shall spring always be, for spring lies ever at +the marge of summer; and autumn also shall always tint thy gardens, +for autumn always flares at winter's edge, and those gardens shall lie +apart between winter and summer. And there shall be orchards in thy +garden, too, with all the burden of autumn on their boughs and all the +blossom of spring. + +"Yea, I behold this palace, for we see future things; I see its white +wall shine in the huge glare of midsummer, and the lizards lying along +it motionless in the sun, and men asleep in the noonday, and the +butterflies floating by, and birds of radiant plumage chasing +marvellous moths; far off the forest and great orchids glorying there, +and iridescent insects dancing round in the light. I see the wall upon +the other side; the snow has come upon the battlements, the icicles +have fringed them like frozen beards, a wild wind blowing out of +lonely places and crying to the cold fields as it blows has sent the +snowdrifts higher than the buttresses; they that look out through +windows on that side of thy palace see the wild geese flying low and +all the birds of the winter, going by swift in packs beat low by the +bitter wind, and the clouds above them are black, for it is midwinter +there; while in thine other courts the fountains tinkle, falling on +marble warmed by the fire of the summer sun. + +"Such, O King of the Years, shall thy palace be, and its name shall be +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder; and thy wisdom shall bid thine +architects build at once, that all may see what as yet the poets see +only, and that prophecy be fulfilled." + +And when the poet ceased the Sultan spake, and said, as all men +hearkened with bent heads: + +"It will be unnecessary for my builders to build this palace, +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder, for in hearing thee we have drunk +already its pleasures." + +And the poet went forth from the Presence and dreamed a new thing. + + . . . . . + + + + + +A Narrow Escape + +It was underground. + +In that dank cavern down below Belgrave Square the walls were +dripping. But what was that to the magician? It was secrecy that he +needed, not dryness. There he pondered upon the trend of events, +shaped destinies and concocted magical brews. + +For the last few years the serenity of his ponderings had been +disturbed by the noise of the motor-bus; while to his keen ears there +came the earthquake-rumble, far off, of the train in the tube, going +down Sloane Street; and when he heard of the world above his head was +not to its credit. + +He decided one evening over his evil pipe, down there in his dank +chamber, that London had lived long enough, had abused its +opportunities, had gone too far, in fine, with its civilisation. And +so he decided to wreck it. + +Therefore he beckoned up his acolyte from the weedy end of the cavern, +and, "Bring me," he said, "the heart of the toad that dwelleth in +Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." The acolyte slipped away by +the hidden door, leaving that grim old man with his frightful pipe, +and whither he went who knows but the gipsy people, or by what path he +returned; but within a year he stood in the cavern again, slipping +secretly in by the trap while the old man smoked, and he brought with +him a little fleshy thing that rotted in a casket of pure gold. + +"What is it?" the old man croaked. + +"It is," said the acolyte, "the heart of the toad that dwelt once +in Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." + +The old man's crooked fingers closed on it, and he blessed the acolyte +with his rasping voice and claw-like hand uplifted; the motor-bus +rumbled above on its endless journey; far off the train shook Sloane +Street. + +"Come," said the old magician, "it is time." And there and then they +left the weedy cavern, the acolyte carrying cauldron, gold poker and +all things needful, and went abroad in the light. And very wonderful +the old man looked in his silks. + +Their goal was the outskirts of London; the old man strode in front +and the acolyte ran behind him, and there was something magical in the +old man's stride alone, without his wonderful dress, the cauldron and +wand, the hurrying acolyte and the small gold poker. + +Little boys jeered till they caught the old man's eye. So there went +on through London this strange procession of two, too swift for any to +follow. Things seemed worse up there than they did in the cavern, and +the further they got on their way towards London's outskirts the worse +London got. "It is time," said the old man, "surely." + +And so they came at last to London's edge and a small hill watching it +with a mournful look. It was so mean that the acolyte longed for the +cavern, dank though it was and full of terrible sayings that the old +man said when he slept. + +They climbed the hill and put the cauldron down, and put there in the +necessary things, and lit a fire of herbs that no chemist will sell +nor decent gardener grow, and stirred the cauldron with the golden +poker. The magician retired a little apart and muttered, then he +strode back to the cauldron and, all being ready, suddenly opened the +casket and let the fleshy thing fall in to boil. + +Then he made spells, then he flung up his arms; the fumes from the +cauldron entering in at his mind he said raging things that he had not +known before and runes that were dreadful (the acolyte screamed); +there he cursed London from fog to loam-pit, from zenith to the abyss, +motor-bus, factory, shop, parliament, people. "Let them all perish," +he said, "and London pass away, tram lines and bricks and pavement, +the usurpers too long of the fields, let them all pass away and the +wild hares come back, blackberry and briar-rose." + +"Let it pass," he said, "pass now, pass utterly." + +In the momentary silence the old man coughed, then waited with eager +eyes; and the long long hum of London hummed as it always has since +first the reed-huts were set up by the river, changing its note at +times but always humming, louder now than it was in years gone by, but +humming night and day though its voice be cracked with age; so it +hummed on. + +And the old man turned him round to his trembling acolyte and terribly +said as he sank into the earth: "YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT ME THE HEART +OF THE TOAD THAT DWELLETH IN ARABIA NOR BY THE MOUNTAINS OF BETHANY!" + + + + + +The Watch-tower + +I sat one April in Provence on a small hill above an ancient town +that Goth and Vandal as yet have forborne to "bring up to date." + +On the hill was an old worn castle with a watch-tower, and a well with +narrow steps and water in it still. + +The watch-tower, staring South with neglected windows, faced a broad +valley full of the pleasant twilight and the hum of evening things: it +saw the fires of wanderers blink from the hills, beyond them the long +forest black with pines, one star appearing, and darkness settling +slowly down on Var. + +Sitting there listening to the green frogs croaking, hearing far +voices clearly but all transmuted by evening, watching the windows in +the little town glimmering one by one, and seeing the gloaming dwindle +solemnly into night, a great many things fell from mind that seem +important by day, and evening in their place planted strange fancies. + +Little winds had arisen and were whispering to and fro, it grew cold, +and I was about to descend the hill, when I heard a voice behind me +saying, "Beware, beware." + +So much the voice appeared a part of the evening that I did not turn +round at first; it was like voices that one hears in sleep and thinks +to be of one's dream. And the word was monotonously repeated, in +French. + +When I turned round I saw an old man with a horn. He had a white beard +marvellously long, and still went on saying slowly, "Beware, beware." +He had clearly just come from the tower by which he stood, though I +had heard no footfall. Had a man come stealthily upon me at such an +hour and in so lonesome a place I had certainly felt surprised; but I +saw almost at once that he was a spirit, and he seemed with his +uncouth horn and his long white beard and that noiseless step of his +to be so native to that time and place that I spoke to him as one does +to some fellow-traveller who asks you if you mind having the window +up. + +I asked him what there was to beware of. + +"Of what should a town beware," he said, "but the Saracens?" + +"Saracens?" I said. + +"Yes, Saracens, Saracens," he answered and brandished his horn. + +"And who are you?" I said. + +"I, I am the spirit of the tower," he said. + +When I asked him how he came by so human an aspect and was so unlike +the material tower beside him he told me that the lives of all the +watchers who had ever held the horn in the tower there had gone to +make the spirit of the tower. "It takes a hundred lives," he said. +"None hold the horn of late and men neglect the tower. When the walls +are in ill repair the Saracens come: it was ever so." + +"The Saracens don't come nowadays," I said. + +But he was gazing past me watching, and did not seem to heed me. + +"They will run down those hills," he said, pointing away to the South, +"out of the woods about nightfall, and I shall blow my horn. The +people will all come up from the town to the tower again; but the +loopholes are in very ill repair." + +"We never hear of the Saracens now," I said. + +"Hear of the Saracens!" the old spirit said. "Hear of the Saracens! +They slip one evening out of that forest, in the long white robes that +they wear, and I blow my horn. That is the first that anyone ever +hears of the Saracens." + +"I mean," I said, "that they never come at all. They cannot come and +men fear other things." For I thought the old spirit might rest if he +knew that the Saracens can never come again. But he said, "There is +nothing in the world to fear but the Saracens. Nothing else matters. +How can men fear other things?" + +Then I explained, so that he might have rest, and told him how all +Europe, and in particular France, had terrible engines of war, both on +land and sea; and how the Saracens had not these terrible engines +either on sea or land, and so could by no means cross the +Mediterranean or escape destruction on shore even though they should +come there. I alluded to the European railways that could move armies +night and day faster than horses could gallop. And when as well as I +could I had explained all, he answered, "In time all these things pass +away and then there will still be the Saracens." + +And then I said, "There has not been a Saracen either in France +or Spain for over four hundred years." + +And he said, "The Saracens! You do not know their cunning. That was +ever the way of the Saracens. They do not come for a while, no not +they, for a long while, and then one day they come." + +And peering southwards, but not seeing clearly because of the rising +mist, he silently moved to his tower and up its broken steps. + + + + + +How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire + +In a thatched cottage of enormous size, so vast that we might consider +it a palace, but only a cottage in the style of its building, its +timbers and the nature of its interior, there lived Plash-Goo. + +Plash-Goo was of the children of the giants, whose sire was Uph. And +the lineage of Uph had dwindled in bulk for the last five hundred +years, till the giants were now no more than fifteen foot high; but +Uph ate elephants which he caught with his hands. + +Now on the tops of the mountains above the house of Plash-Goo, for +Plash-Goo lived in the plains, there dwelt the dwarf whose name was +Lrippity-Kang. And the dwarf used to walk at evening on the edge of +the tops of the mountains, and would walk up and down along it, and +was squat and ugly and hairy, and was plainly seen of Plash-Goo. + +And for many weeks the giant had suffered the sight of him, but at +length grew irked at the sight (as men are by little things), and +could not sleep of a night and lost his taste for pigs. And at last +there came the day, as anyone might have known, when Plash-Goo +shouldered his club and went up to look for the dwarf. + +And the dwarf though briefly squat was broader than may be dreamed, +beyond all breadth of man, and stronger than men may know; strength in +its very essence dwelt in that little frame, as a spark in the heart +of a flint: but to Plash-Goo he was no more than mis-shapen, bearded +and squat, a thing that dared to defy all natural laws by being more +broad than long. + +When Plash-Goo came to the mountain he cast his chimahalk down (for so +he named the club of his heart's desire) lest the dwarf should defy +him with nimbleness; and stepped towards Lrippity-Kang with gripping +hands, who stopped in his mountainous walk without a word, and swung +round his hideous breadth to confront Plash-Goo. Already then +Plash-Goo in the deeps of his mind had seen himself seize the dwarf in +one large hand and hurl him with his beard and his hated breadth sheer +down the precipice that dropped away from that very place to the land +of None's Desire. Yet it was otherwise that Fate would have it. For +the dwarf parried with his little arms the grip of those monstrous +hands, and gradually working along the enormous limbs came at length +to the giant's body where by dwarfish cunning he obtained a grip; and +turning Plash-Goo about, as a spider does some great fly, till his +little grip was suitable to his purpose, he suddenly lifted the giant +over his head. Slowly at first, by the edge of that precipice whose +base sheer distance hid, he swung his giant victim round his head, but +soon faster and faster; and at last when Plash-Goo was streaming round +the hated breadth of the dwarf and the no less hated beard was +flapping in the wind, Lrippity-Kang let go. Plash-Goo shot over the +edge and for some way further, out towards Space, like a stone; then +he began to fall. It was long before he believed and truly knew that +this was really he that fell from this mountain, for we do not +associate such dooms with ourselves; but when he had fallen for some +while through the evening and saw below him, where there had been +nothing to see, or began to see, the glimmer of tiny fields, then his +optimism departed; till later on when the fields were greener and +larger he saw that this was indeed (and growing now terribly nearer) +that very land to which he had destined the dwarf. + +At last he saw it unmistakable, close, with its grim houses and its +dreadful ways, and its green fields shining in the light of the +evening. His cloak was streaming from him in whistling shreds. + +So Plash-Goo came to the Land of None's Desire. + + + + + +The Three Sailors' Gambit + +Sitting some years ago in the ancient tavern at Over, one afternoon in +Spring, I was waiting, as was my custom, for something strange to +happen. In this I was not always disappointed for the very curious +leaded panes of that tavern, facing the sea, let a light into the +low-ceilinged room so mysterious, particularly at evening, that it +somehow seemed to affect the events within. Be that as it may, I have +seen strange things in that tavern and heard stranger things told. + +And as I sat there three sailors entered the tavern, just back, as +they said, from sea, and come with sunburned skins from a very long +voyage to the South; and one of them had a board and chessmen under +his arm, and they were complaining that they could find no one who +knew how to play chess. This was the year that the Tournament was in +England. And a little dark man at a table in a corner of the room, +drinking sugar and water, asked them why they wished to play chess; +and they said they would play any man for a pound. They opened their +box of chessmen then, a cheap and nasty set, and the man refused to +play with such uncouth pieces, and the sailors suggested that perhaps +he could find better ones; and in the end he went round to his +lodgings near by and brought his own, and then they sat down to play +for a pound a side. It was a consultation game on the part of the +sailors, they said that all three must play. + +Well, the little dark man turned out to be Stavlokratz. + +Of course he was fabulously poor, and the sovereign meant more to him +than it did to the sailors, but he didn't seem keen to play, it was +the sailors that insisted; he had made the badness of the sailors' +chessmen an excuse for not playing at all, but the sailors had +overruled that, and then he told them straight out who he was, and the +sailors had never heard of Stavlokratz. + +Well, no more was said after that. Stavlokratz said no more, either +because he did not wish to boast or because he was huffed that they +did not know who he was. And I saw no reason to enlighten the sailors +about him; if he took their pound they had brought it upon themselves, +and my boundless admiration for his genius made me feel that he +deserved whatever might come his way. He had not asked to play, they +had named the stakes, he had warned them, and gave them the first +move; there was nothing unfair about Stavlokratz. + +I had never seen Stavlokratz before, but I had played over nearly +every one of his games in the World Championship for the last three or +four years; he was always of course the model chosen by students. Only +young chess-players can appreciate my delight at seeing him play first +hand. + +Well, the sailors used to lower their heads almost as low as the table +and mutter together before every move, but they muttered so low that +you could not hear what they planned. + +They lost three pawns almost straight off, then a knight, and shortly +after a bishop; they were playing in fact the famous Three Sailors' +Gambit. + +Stavlokratz was playing with the easy confidence that they say was +usual with him, when suddenly at about the thirteenth move I saw him +look surprised; he leaned forward and looked at the board and then at +the sailors, but he learned nothing from their vacant faces; he looked +back at the board again. + +He moved more deliberately after that; the sailors lost two more +pawns, Stavlokratz had lost nothing as yet. He looked at me I thought +almost irritably, as though something would happen that he wished I +was not there to see. I believed at first that he had qualms about +taking the sailors' pound, until it dawned on me that he might lose +the game; I saw that possibility in his face, not on the board, for +the game had become almost incomprehensible to me. I cannot describe +my astonishment. And a few moves later Stavlokratz resigned. + +The sailors showed no more elation than if they had won some game with +greasy cards, playing amongst themselves. + +Stavlokratz asked them where they got their opening. "We kind of +thought of it," said one. "It just come into our heads like," said +another. He asked them questions about the ports they had touched at. +He evidently thought as I did myself that they had learned their +extraordinary gambit, perhaps in some old dependancy of Spain, from +some young master of chess whose fame had not reached Europe. He was +very eager to find out who this man could be, for neither of us +imagined that those sailors had invented it, nor would anyone who had +seen them. But he got no information from the sailors. + +Stavlokratz could very ill afford the loss of a pound. He offered to +play them again for the same stakes. The sailors began to set up the +white pieces. Stavlokratz pointed out that it was his turn for the +first move. The sailors agreed but continued to set up the white +pieces and sat with the white before them waiting for him to move. It +was a trivial incident, but it revealed to Stavlokratz and myself that +none of these sailors was aware that white always moves first. + +Stavlokratz played them on his own opening, reasoning of course that +as they had never heard of Stavlokratz they would not know of his +opening; and with probably a very good hope of getting back his pound +he played the fifth variation with its tricky seventh move, at least +so he intended, but it turned to a variation unknown to the students +of Stavlokratz. + +Throughout this game I watched the sailors closely, and I became sure, +as only an attentive watcher can be, that the one on their left, Jim +Bunion, did not even know the moves. + +When I had made up my mind about this I watched only the other two, +Adam Bailey and Bill Sloggs, trying to make out which was the master +mind; and for a long while I could not. And then I heard Adam Bailey +mutter six words, the only words I heard throughout the game, of all +their consultations, "No, him with the horse's head." And I decided +that Adam Bailey did not know what a knight was, though of course he +might have been explaining things to Bill Sloggs, but it did not sound +like that; so that left Bill Sloggs. I watched Bill Sloggs after that +with a certain wonder; he was no more intellectual than the others to +look at, though rather more forceful perhaps. Poor old Stavlokratz was +beaten again. + +Well, in the end I paid for Stavlokratz, and tried to get a game with +Bill Sloggs alone, but this he would not agree to, it must be all +three or none: and then I went back with Stavlokratz to his lodgings. +He very kindly gave me a game: of course it did not last long but I am +prouder of having been beaten by Stavlokratz than of any game that I +have ever won. And then we talked for an hour about the sailors, and +neither of us could make head or tail of them. I told him what I had +noticed about Jim Bunion and Adam Bailey, and he agreed with me that +Bill Sloggs was the man, though as to how he had come by that gambit +or that variation of Stavlokratz's own opening he had no theory. + +I had the sailors' address which was that tavern as much as anywhere, +and they were to be there all evening. As evening drew in I went back +to the tavern, and found there still the three sailors. And I offered +Bill Sloggs two pounds for a game with him alone and he refused, but +in the end he played me for a drink. And then I found that he had not +heard of the "en passant" rule, and believed that the fact of checking +the king prevented him from castling, and did not know that a player +can have two or more queens on the board at the same time if he queens +his pawns, or that a pawn could ever become a knight; and he made as +many of the stock mistakes as he had time for in a short game, which I +won. I thought that I should have got at the secret then, but his +mates who had sat scowling all the while in the corner came up and +interfered. It was a breach of their compact apparently for one to +play by himself, at any rate they seemed angry. So I left the tavern +then and came back again next day, and the next day and the day after, +and often saw the sailors, but none were in a communicative mood. I +had got Stavlokratz to keep away, and they could get no one to play +chess with at a pound a side, and I would not play with them unless +they told me the secret. + +And then one evening I found Jim Bunion drunk, yet not so drunk as he +wished, for the two pounds were spent; and I gave him very nearly a +tumbler of whiskey, or what passed for whiskey in that tavern at Over, +and he told me the secret at once. I had given the others some whiskey +to keep them quiet, and later on in the evening they must have gone +out, but Jim Bunion stayed with me by a little table leaning across it +and talking low, right into my face, his breath smelling all the while +of what passed for whiskey. + +The wind was blowing outside as it does on bad nights in November, +coming up with moans from the South, towards which the tavern faced +with all its leaded panes, so that none but I was able to hear his +voice as Jim Bunion gave up his secret. They had sailed for years, he +told me, with Bill Snyth; and on their last voyage home Bill Snyth had +died. And he was buried at sea. Just the other side of the line they +buried him, and his pals divided his kit, and these three got his +crystal that only they knew he had, which Bill got one night in Cuba. +They played chess with the crystal. + +And he was going on to tell me about that night in Cuba when Bill had +bought the crystal from the stranger, how some folks might think they +had seen thunderstorms, but let them go and listen to that one that +thundered in Cuba when Bill was buying his crystal and they'd find +that they didn't know what thunder was. But then I interrupted him, +unfortunately perhaps, for it broke the thread of his tale and set him +rambling a while, and cursing other people and talking of other lands, +China, Port Said and Spain: but I brought him back to Cuba again in +the end. I asked him how they could play chess with a crystal; and he +said that you looked at the board and looked at the crystal, and there +was the game in the crystal the same as it was on the board, with all +the odd little pieces looking just the same though smaller, horses' +heads and whatnots; and as soon as the other man moved the move came +out in the crystal, and then your move appeared after it, and all you +had to do was to make it on the board. If you didn't make the move +that you saw in the crystal things got very bad in it, everything +horribly mixed and moving about rapidly, and scowling and making the +same move over and over again, and the crystal getting cloudier and +cloudier; it was best to take one's eyes away from it then, or one +dreamt about it afterwards, and the foul little pieces came and cursed +you in your sleep and moved about all night with their crooked moves. + +I thought then that, drunk though he was, he was not telling the +truth, and I promised to show him to people who played chess all their +lives so that he and his mates could get a pound whenever they liked, +and I promised not to reveal his secret even to Stavlokratz, if only +he would tell me all the truth; and this promise I have kept till long +after the three sailors have lost their secret. I told him straight +out that I did not believe in the crystal. Well, Jim Bunion leaned +forward then, even further across the table, and swore he had seen the +man from whom Bill had bought the crystal and that he was one to whom +anything was possible. To begin with his hair was villainously dark, +and his features were unmistakable even down there in the South, and +he could play chess with his eyes shut, and even then he could beat +anyone in Cuba. But there was more than this, there was the bargain he +made with Bill that told one who he was. He sold that crystal for Bill +Snyth's soul. + +Jim Bunion leaning over the table with his breath in my face nodded +his head several times and was silent. + +I began to question him then. Did they play chess as far away as Cuba? +He said they all did. Was it conceivable that any man would make such +a bargain as Snyth made? Wasn't the trick well known? Wasn't it in +hundreds of books? And if he couldn't read books mustn't he have heard +from sailors that it is the Devil's commonest dodge to get souls from +silly people? + +Jim Bunion had leant back in his own chair quietly smiling at my +questions but when I mentioned silly people he leaned forward again, +and thrust his face close to mine and asked me several times if I +called Bill Snyth silly. It seemed that these three sailors thought a +great deal of Bill Snyth and it made Jim Bunion angry to hear anything +said against him. I hastened to say that the bargain seemed silly +though not of course the man who made it; for the sailor was almost +threatening, and no wonder for the whiskey in that dim tavern would +madden a nun. + +When I said that the bargain seemed silly he smiled again, and then he +thundered his fist down on the table and said that no one had ever yet +got the best of Bill Snyth and that that was the worst bargain for +himself that the Devil ever made, and that from all he had read or +heard of the Devil he had never been so badly had before as the night +when he met Bill Snyth at the inn in the thunderstorm in Cuba, for +Bill Snyth already had the damndest soul at sea; Bill was a good +fellow, but his soul was damned right enough, so he got the crystal +for nothing. + +Yes, he was there and saw it all himself, Bill Snyth in the Spanish +inn and the candles flaring, and the Devil walking in and out of the +rain, and then the bargain between those two old hands, and the Devil +going out into the lightning, and the thunderstorm raging on, and Bill +Snyth sitting chuckling to himself between the bursts of the thunder. + +But I had more questions to ask and interrupted this reminiscence. Why +did they all three always play together? And a look of something like +fear came over Jim Bunion's face; and at first he would not speak. And +then he said to me that it was like this; they had not paid for that +crystal, but got it as their share of Bill Snyth's kit. If they had +paid for it or given something in exchange to Bill Snyth that would +have been all right, but they couldn't do that now because Bill was +dead, and they were not sure if the old bargain might not hold good. +And Hell must be a large and lonely place, and to go there alone must +be bad, and so the three agreed that they would all stick together, +and use the crystal all three or not at all, unless one died, and then +the two would use it and the one that was gone would wait for them. +And the last of the three to go would take the crystal with him, or +maybe the crystal would bring him. They didn't think, they said, they +were the kind of men for Heaven, and he hoped they knew their place +better than that, but they didn't fancy the notion of Hell alone, if +Hell it had to be. It was all right for Bill Snyth, he was afraid of +nothing. He had known perhaps five men that were not afraid of death, +but Bill Snyth was not afraid of Hell. He died with a smile on his +face like a child in its sleep; it was drink killed poor Bill Snyth. + +This was why I had beaten Bill Sloggs; Sloggs had the crystal on him +while we played, but would not use it; these sailors seemed to fear +loneliness as some people fear being hurt; he was the only one of the +three who could play chess at all, he had learnt it in order to be +able to answer questions and keep up their pretence, but he had learnt +it badly, as I found. I never saw the crystal, they never showed it to +anyone; but Jim Bunion told me that night that it was about the size +that the thick end of a hen's egg would be if it were round. And then +he fell asleep. + +There were many more questions that I would have asked him but I could +not wake him up. I even pulled the table away so that he fell to the +floor, but he slept on, and all the tavern was dark but for one candle +burning; and it was then that I noticed for the first time that the +other two sailors had gone, no one remained at all but Jim Bunion and +I and the sinister barman of that curious inn, and he too was asleep. + +When I saw that it was impossible to wake the sailor I went out into +the night. Next day Jim Bunion would talk of it no more; and when I +went back to Stavlokratz I found him already putting on paper his +theory about the sailors, which became accepted by chess-players, that +one of them had been taught their curious gambit and that the other +two between them had learnt all the defensive openings as well as +general play. Though who taught them no one could say, in spite of +enquiries made afterwards all along the Southern Pacific. + +I never learnt any more details from any of the three sailors, they +were always too drunk to speak or else not drunk enough to be +communicative. I seem just to have taken Jim Bunion at the flood. But +I kept my promise, it was I that introduced them to the Tournament, +and a pretty mess they made of established reputations. And so they +kept on for months, never losing a game and always playing for their +pound a side. I used to follow them wherever they went merely to watch +their play. They were more marvellous than Stavlokratz even in his +youth. + +But then they took to liberties such as giving their queen when +playing first-class players. And in the end one day when all three +were drunk they played the best player in England with only a row of +pawns. They won the game all right. But the ball broke to pieces. I +never smelt such a stench in all my life. + +The three sailors took it stoically enough, they signed on to +different ships and went back again to the sea, and the world of chess +lost sight, for ever I trust, of the most remarkable players it ever +knew, who would have altogether spoiled the game. + + + + + +The Exiles Club + +It was an evening party; and something someone had said to me had +started me talking about a subject that to me is full of fascination, +the subject of old religions, forsaken gods. The truth (for all +religions have some of it), the wisdom, the beauty, of the religions +of countries to which I travel have not the same appeal for me; for +one only notices in them their tyranny and intolerance and the abject +servitude that they claim from thought; but when a dynasty has been +dethroned in heaven and goes forgotten and outcast even among men, +one's eyes no longer dazzled by its power find something very wistful +in the faces of fallen gods suppliant to be remembered, something +almost tearfully beautiful, like a long warm summer twilight fading +gently away after some day memorable in the story of earthly wars. +Between what Zeus, for instance, has been once and the half-remembered +tale he is today there lies a space so great that there is no change +of fortune known to man whereby we may measure the height down which +he has fallen. And it is the same with many another god at whom once +the ages trembled and the twentieth century treats as an old wives' +tale. The fortitude that such a fall demands is surely more than +human. + +Some such things as these I was saying, and being upon a subject that +much attracts me I possibly spoke too loudly, certainly I was not +aware that standing close behind me was no less a person than the +ex-King of Eritivaria, the thirty islands of the East, or I would have +moderated my voice and moved away a little to give him more room. I +was not aware of his presence until his satellite, one who had fallen +with him into exile but still revolved about him, told me that his +master desired to know me; and so to my surprise I was presented +though neither of them even knew my name. And that was how I came to +be invited by the ex-King to dine at his club. + +At the time I could only account for his wishing to know me by +supposing that he found in his own exiled condition some likeness to +the fallen fortunes of the gods of whom I talked unwitting of his +presence; but now I know that it was not of himself he was thinking +when he asked me to dine at that club. + +The club would have been the most imposing building in any street in +London, but in that obscure mean quarter of London in which they had +built it it appeared unduly enormous. Lifting right up above those +grotesque houses and built in that Greek style that we call Georgian, +there was something Olympian about it. To my host an unfashionable +street could have meant nothing, through all his youth wherever he had +gone had become fashionable the moment he went there; words like the +East End could have had no meaning to him. + +Whoever built that house had enormous wealth and cared nothing for +fashion, perhaps despised it. As I stood gazing at the magnificent +upper windows draped with great curtains, indistinct in the evening, +on which huge shadows flickered my host attracted my attention from +the doorway, and so I went in and met for the second time the ex-King +of Eritivaria. + +In front of us a stairway of rare marble led upwards, he took me +through a side-door and downstairs and we came to a banqueting-hall of +great magnificence. A long table ran up the middle of it, laid for +quite twenty people, and I noticed the peculiarity that instead of +chairs there were thrones for everyone except me, who was the only +guest and for whom there was an ordinary chair. My host explained to +me when we all sat down that everyone who belonged to that club was by +rights a king. + +In fact none was permitted, he told me, to belong to the club until +his claim to a kingdom made out in writing had been examined and +allowed by those whose duty it was. The whim of a populace or the +candidate's own misrule were never considered by the investigators, +nothing counted with them but heredity and lawful descent from kings, +all else was ignored. At that table there were those who had once +reigned themselves, others lawfully claimed descent from kings that +the world had forgotten, the kingdoms claimed by some had even changed +their names. Hatzgurh, the mountain kingdom, is almost regarded as +mythical. + +I have seldom seen greater splendour than that long hall provided +below the level of the street. No doubt by day it was a little sombre, +as all basements are, but at night with its great crystal chandeliers, +and the glitter of heirlooms that had gone into exile, it surpassed +the splendour of palaces that have only one king. They had come to +London suddenly most of those kings, or their fathers before them, or +forefathers; some had come away from their kingdoms by night, in a +light sleigh, flogging the horses, or had galloped clear with morning +over the border, some had trudged roads for days from their capital in +disguise, yet many had had time just as they left to snatch up some +small thing without price in markets, for the sake of old times as +they said, but quite as much, I thought, with an eye to the future. +And there these treasures glittered on that long table in the +banqueting-hall of the basement of that strange club. Merely to see +them was much, but to hear their story that their owners told was to +go back in fancy to epic times on the romantic border of fable and +fact, where the heroes of history fought with the gods of myth. The +famous silver horses of Gilgianza were there climbing their sheer +mountain, which they did by miraculous means before the time of the +Goths. It was not a large piece of silver but its workmanship +outrivalled the skill of the bees. + +A yellow Emperor had brought out of the East a piece of that +incomparable porcelain that had made his dynasty famous though all +their deeds are forgotten, it had the exact shade of the right purple. + +And there was a little golden statuette of a dragon stealing a diamond +from a lady, the dragon had the diamond in his claws, large and of the +first water. There had been a kingdom whose whole constitution and +history were founded on the legend, from which alone its kings had +claimed their right to the scepter, that a dragon stole a diamond from +a lady. When its last king left that country, because his favorite +general used a peculiar formation under the fire of artillery, he +brought with him the little ancient image that no longer proved him a +king outside that singular club. + +There was the pair of amethyst cups of the turbaned King of Foo, the +one that he drank from himself, and the one that he gave to his +enemies, eye could not tell which was which. + +All these things the ex-King of Eritivaria showed me, telling me a +marvelous tale of each; of his own he had brought nothing, except the +mascot that used once to sit on the top of the water tube of his +favorite motor. + +I have not outlined a tenth of the splendour of that table, I had +meant to come again and examine each piece of plate and make notes of +its history; had I known that this was the last time I should wish to +enter that club I should have looked at its treasures more +attentively, but now as the wine went round and the exiles began to +talk I took my eyes from the table and listened to strange tales of +their former state. + +He that has seen better times has usually a poor tale to tell, some +mean and trivial thing has been his undoing, but they that dined in +that basement had mostly fallen like oaks on nights of abnormal +tempest, had fallen mightily and shaken a nation. Those who had not +been kings themselves, but claimed through an exiled ancestor, had +stories to tell of even grander disaster, history seeming to have +mellowed their dynasty's fate as moss grows over an oak a great while +fallen. There were no jealousies there as so often there are among +kings, rivalry must have ceased with the loss of their navies and +armies, and they showed no bitterness against those that had turned +them out, one speaking of the error of his Prime Minister by which he +had lost his throne as "poor old Friedrich's Heaven-sent gift of +tactlessness." + +They gossiped pleasantly of many things, the tittle-tattle we all had +to know when we were learning history, and many a wonderful story I +might have heard, many a side light on mysterious wars had I not made +use of one unfortunate word. That word was "upstairs." + +The ex-King of Eritivaria having pointed out to me those unparalleled +heirlooms to which I have alluded, and many more besides, hospitably +asked me if there was anything else that I would care to see, he meant +the pieces of plate that they had in the cupboards, the curiously +graven swords of other princes, historic jewels, legendary seals, but +I who had had a glimpse of their marvelous staircase, whose balustrade +I believed to be solid gold and wondering why in such a stately house +they chose to dine in the basement, mentioned the word "upstairs." A +profound hush came down on the whole assembly, the hush that might +greet levity in a cathedral. + +"Upstairs!" he gasped. "We cannot go upstairs." + +I perceived that what I had said was an ill-chosen thing. I tried to +excuse myself but knew not how. + +"Of course," I muttered, "members may not take guests upstairs." + +"Members!" he said to me. "We are not the members!" + +There was such reproof in his voice that I said no more, I looked at +him questioningly, perhaps my lips moved, I may have said "What are +you?" A great surprise had come on me at their attitude. + +"We are the waiters," he said. + +That I could not have known, here at last was honest ignorance that I +had no need to be ashamed of, the very opulence of their table denied +it. + +"Then who are the members?" I asked. + +Such a hush fell at that question, such a hush of genuine awe, that +all of a sudden a wild thought entered my head, a thought strange and +fantastic and terrible. I gripped my host by the wrist and hushed my +voice. + +"Are they too exiles?" I asked. + +Twice as he looked in my face he gravely nodded his head. + +I left that club very swiftly indeed, never to see it again, scarcely +pausing to say farewell to those menial kings, and as I left the door +a great window opened far up at the top of the house and a flash of +lightning streamed from it and killed a dog. + + + + + +The Three Infernal Jokes + +This is the story that the desolate man told to me on the lonely +Highland road one autumn evening with winter coming on and the stags +roaring. + +The saddening twilight, the mountain already black, the dreadful +melancholy of the stags' voices, his friendless mournful face, all +seemed to be of some most sorrowful play staged in that valley by an +outcast god, a lonely play of which the hills were part and he the +only actor. + +For long we watched each other drawing out of the solitudes of those +forsaken spaces. Then when we met he spoke. + +"I will tell you a thing that will make you die of laughter. I will +keep it to myself no longer. But first I must tell you how I came by +it." + +I do not give the story in his words with all his woeful interjections +and the misery of his frantic self-reproaches for I would not convey +unnecessarily to my readers that atmosphere of sadness that was about +all he said and that seemed to go with him where-ever he moved. + +It seems that he had been a member of a club, a West-end club he +called it, a respectable but quite inferior affair, probably in the +City: agents belonged to it, fire insurance mostly, but life insurance +and motor-agents too, it was in fact a touts' club. It seems that a +few of them one evening, forgetting for a moment their encyclopedias +and non-stop tyres, were talking loudly over a card-table when the +game had ended about their personal virtues, and a very little man +with waxed moustaches who disliked the taste of wine was boasting +heartily of his temperance. It was then that he who told this mournful +story, drawn on by the boasts of others, leaned forward a little over +the green baize into the light of the two guttering candles and +revealed, no doubt a little shyly, his own extraordinary virtue. One +woman was to him as ugly as another. + +And the silenced boasters rose and went home to bed leaving him all +alone, as he supposed, with his unequalled virtue. And yet he was not +alone, for when the rest had gone there arose a member out of a deep +arm-chair at the dark end of the room and walked across to him, a man +whose occupation he did not know and only now suspects. + +"You have," said the stranger, "a surpassing virtue." + +"I have no possible use for it," my poor friend replied. + +"Then doubtless you would sell it cheap," said the stranger. + +Something in the man's manner or appearance made the desolate teller +of this mournful tale feel his own inferiority, which probably made +him feel acutely shy, so that his mind abased itself as an Oriental +does his body in the presence of a superior, or perhaps he was sleepy, +or merely a little drunk. Whatever it was he only mumbled, "O yes," +instead of contradicting so mad a remark. And the stranger led the way +to the room where the telephone was. + +"I think you will find my firm will give a good price for it," he +said: and without more ado he began with a pair of pincers to cut the +wire of the telephone and the receiver. The old waiter who looked +after the club they had left shuffling round the other room putting +things away for the night. + +"Whatever are you doing of?" said my friend. + +"This way," said the stranger. Along a passage they went and away to +the back of the club and there the stranger leaned out of a window and +fastened the severed wires to the lightning conductor. My friend has +no doubt of that, a broad ribbon of copper, half an inch wide, perhaps +wider, running down from the roof to the earth. + +"Hell," said the stranger with his mouth to the telephone; then +silence for a while with his ear to the receiver, leaning out of the +window. And then my friend heard his poor virtue being several times +repeated, and then words like Yes and No. + +"They offer you three jokes," said the stranger, "which shall make all +who hear them simply die of laughter." + +I think my friend was reluctant then to have anything more to do with +it, he wanted to go home; he said he didn't want jokes. + +"They think very highly of your virtue," I said the stranger. And at +that, odd as it seems, my friend wavered, for logically if they +thought highly of the goods they should have paid a higher price. + +"O all right," he said. The extraordinary document that the agent drew +from his pocket ran something like this: + +"I . . . . . in consideration of three new jokes received from Mr. +Montagu-Montague, hereinafter to be called the agent, and warranted to +be as by him stated and described, do assign to him, yield, abrogate +and give up all recognitions, emoluments, perquisites or rewards due +to me Here or Elsewhere on account of the following virtue, to wit and +that is to say . . . . . that all women are to me equally ugly." The +last eight words being filled in in ink by Mr. Montagu-Montague. + +My poor friend duly signed it. "These are the jokes," said the agent. +They were boldly written on three slips of paper. "They don't seem +very funny," said the other when he had read them. "You are immune," +said Mr. Montagu-Montague, "but anyone else who hears them will simply +die of laughter: that we guarantee." + +An American firm had bought at the price of waste paper a hundred +thousand copies of The Dictionary of Electricity written when +electricity was new,--and it had turned out that even at the time its +author had not rightly grasped his subject,--the firm had paid +L10,000 to a respectable English paper (no other in fact than +the Briton) for the use of its name, and to obtain orders for The +Briton Dictionary of Electricity was the occupation of my unfortunate +friend. He seems to have had a way with him. Apparently he knew by a +glance at a man, or a look round at his garden, whether to recommend +the book as "an absolutely up-to-date achievement, the finest thing of +its kind in the world of modern science" or as "at once quaint and +imperfect, a thing to buy and to keep as a tribute to those dear old +times that are gone." So he went on with this quaint though usual +business, putting aside the memory of that night as an occasion on +which he had "somewhat exceeded" as they say in circles where a spade +is called neither a spade nor an agricultural implement but is never +mentioned at all, being altogether too vulgar. And then one night he +put on his suit of dress clothes and found the three jokes in the +pocket. That was perhaps a shock. He seems to have thought it over +carefully then, and the end of it was he gave a dinner at the club to +twenty of the members. The dinner would do no harm he thought--might +even help the business, and if the joke came off he would be a witty +fellow, and two jokes still up his sleeve. + +Whom he invited or how the dinner went I do not know for he began to +speak rapidly and came straight to the point, as a stick that nears a +cataract suddenly goes faster and faster. The dinner was duly served, +the port went round, the twenty men were smoking, two waiters +loitered, when he after carefully reading the best of the jokes told +it down the table. They laughed. One man accidentally inhaled his +cigar smoke and spluttered, the two waiters overheard and tittered +behind their hands, one man, a bit of a raconteur himself, quite +clearly wished not to laugh, but his veins swelled dangerously in +trying to keep it back, and in the end he laughed too. The joke had +succeeded; my friend smiled at the thought; he wished to say little +deprecating things to the man on his right; but the laughter did not +stop and the waiters would not be silent. He waited, and waited +wondering; the laughter went roaring on, distinctly louder now, and +the waiters as loud as any. It had gone on for three or four minutes +when this frightful thought leaped up all at once in his mind: _it was +forced laughter!_ However could anything have induced him to tell so +foolish a joke? He saw its absurdity as in revelation; and the more he +thought of it as these people laughed at him, even the waiters too, +the more he felt that he could never lift up his head with his brother +touts again. And still the laughter went roaring and choking on. He +was very angry. There was not much use in having a friend, he thought, +if one silly joke could not be overlooked; he had fed them too. And +then he felt that he had no friends at all, and his anger faded away, +and a great unhappiness came down on him, and he got quietly up and +slunk from the room and slipped away from the club. Poor man, he +scarcely had the heart next morning even to glance at the papers, but +you did not need to glance at them, big type was bandied about that +day as though it were common type, the words of the headlines stared +at you; and the headlines said:--Twenty-Two Dead Men at a Club. + +Yes, he saw it then: the laughter had not stopped, some had probably +burst blood vessels, some must have choked, some succumbed to nausea, +heart-failure must have mercifully taken some, and they were his +friends after all, and none had escaped, not I even the waiters. It +was that infernal joke. + +He thought out swiftly, and remembers clear as a nightmare, the drive +to Victoria Station, the boat-train to Dover and going disguised to +the boat: and on the boat pleasantly smiling, almost obsequious, two +constables that wished to speak for a moment with Mr. Watkyn-Jones. +That was his name. + +In a third-class carriage with handcuffs on his wrists, with forced +conversation when any, he returned between his captors to Victoria to +be tried for murder at the High Court of Bow. + +At the trial he was defended by a young barrister of considerable +ability who had gone into the Cabinet in order to enhance his forensic +reputation. And he was ably defended. It is no exaggeration to say +that the speech for the defence showed it to be usual, even natural +and right, to give a dinner to twenty men and to slip away without +ever saying a word, leaving all, with the waiters, dead. That was the +impression left in the minds of the jury. And Mr. Watkyn-Jones felt +himself practically free, with all the advantages of his awful +experience, and his two jokes intact. But lawyers are still +experimenting with the new act which allows a prisoner to give +evidence. They do not like to make no use of it for fear they may be +thought not to know of the act, and a lawyer who is not in touch with +the very latest laws is soon regarded as not being up to date and he +may drop as much as L50,000 a year in fees. And therefore though +it always hangs their clients they hardly like to neglect it. + +Mr. Watkyn-Jones was put in the witness box. There he told the simple +truth, and a very poor affair it seemed after the impassioned and +beautiful things that were uttered by the counsel for the defence. Men +and women had wept when they heard that. They did not weep when they +heard Watkyn-Jones. Some tittered. It no longer seemed a right and +natural thing to leave one's guests all dead and to fly the country. +Where was Justice, they asked, if anyone could do that? And when his +story was told the judge rather happily asked if he could make him die +of laughter too. And what was the joke? For in so grave a place as a +Court of Justice no fatal effects need be feared. And hesitatingly the +prisoner pulled from his pocket the three slips of paper: and +perceived for the first time that the one on which the first and best +joke had been written had become quite blank. Yet he could remember +it, and only too clearly. And he told it from memory to the Court. + +"An Irishman once on being asked by his master to buy a morning paper +said in his usual witty way, 'Arrah and begorrah and I will be after +wishing you the top of the morning.'" + +No joke sounds quite so good the second time it is told, it seems to +lose something of its essence, but Watkyn-Jones was not prepared for +the awful stillness with which this one was received; nobody smiled; +and it had killed twenty-two men. The joke was bad, devilish bad; +counsel for the defence was frowning, and an usher was looking in a +little bag for something the judge wanted. And at this moment, as +though from far away, without his wishing it, there entered the +prisoner's head, and shone there and would not go, this old bad +proverb: "As well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb." The jury seemed +to be just about to retire. "I have another joke," said Watkyn-Jones, +and then and there he read from the second slip of paper. He watched +the paper curiously to see if it would go blank, occupying his mind +with so slight a thing as men in dire distress very often do, and the +words were almost immediately expunged, swept swiftly as if by a hand, +and he saw the paper before him as blank as the first. And they were +laughing this time, judge, jury, counsel for the prosecution, audience +and all, and the grim men that watched him upon either side. There was +no mistake about this joke. + +He did not stay to see the end, and walked out with his eyes fixed on +the ground, unable to bear a glance to the right or left. And since +then he has wandered, avoiding ports and roaming lonely places. Two +years have known him on the Highland roads, often hungry, always +friendless, always changing his district, wandering lonely on with his +deadly joke. + +Sometimes for a moment he will enter inns, driven by cold and hunger, +and hear men in the evening telling jokes and even challenging him; +but he sits desolate and silent, lest his only weapon should escape +from him and his last joke spread mourning in a hundred cots. His +beard has grown and turned grey and is mixed with moss and weeds, so +that no one, I think, not even the police, would recognise him now for +that dapper tout that sold The Briton Dictionary of Electricity in +such a different land. + +He paused, his story told, and then his lip quivered as though he +would say more, and I believe he intended then and there to yield up +his deadly joke on that Highland road and to go forth then with his +three blank slips of paper, perhaps to a felon's cell, with one more +murder added to his crimes, but harmless at last to man. I therefore +hurried on, and only heard him mumbling sadly behind me, standing +bowed and broken, all alone in the twilight, perhaps telling over and +over even then the last infernal joke. + + + THE END + + + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Tales of Wonder, by +Baron Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett Dunsany + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF WONDER *** + +***** This file should be named 13821.txt or 13821.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/8/2/13821/ + +Produced by Tom Harris. HTML version by Al Haines. + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/old/13821.zip b/old/13821.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..03f13cd --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13821.zip diff --git a/old/old/20041021-13821-8.txt b/old/old/20041021-13821-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cec5a9d --- /dev/null +++ b/old/old/20041021-13821-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4334 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Tales of Wonder, by Lord Dunsany + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net + + +Title: Tales of Wonder + +Author: Lord Dunsany + +Release Date: October 21, 2004 [EBook #13821] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF WONDER *** + + + + +Produced by Tom Harris + + + + + +TALES OF WONDER + +by Lord Dunsany + + + + + +Preface + + Ebrington Barracks + + Aug. 16th 1916. + +I do not know where I may be when this preface is read. As I write it +in August 1916, I am at Ebrington Barracks, Londonderry, recovering +from a slight wound. But it does not greatly matter where I am; my +dreams are here before you amongst the following pages; and writing in +a day when life is cheap, dreams seem to me all the dearer, the only +things that survive. + +Just now the civilization of Europe seems almost to have ceased, and +nothing seems to grow in her torn fields but death, yet this is only +for a while and dreams will come back again and bloom as of old, all +the more radiantly for this terrible ploughing, as the flowers will +bloom again where the trenches are and the primroses shelter in +shell-holes for many seasons, when weeping Liberty has come home to +Flanders. + +To some of you in America this may seem an unnecessary and wasteful +quarrel, as other people's quarrels often are; but it comes to this +that though we are all killed there will be songs again, but if we +were to submit and so survive there could be neither songs nor dreams, +nor any joyous free things any more. + +And do not regret the lives that are wasted amongst us, or the work +that the dead would have done, for war is no accident that man's care +could have averted, but is as natural, though not as regular, as the +tides; as well regret the things that the tide has washed away, which +destroys and cleanses and crumbles, and spares the minutest shells. + +And now I will write nothing further about our war, but offer you +these books of dreams from Europe as one throws things of value, if +only to oneself, at the last moment out of a burning house. + + DUNSANY. + + + + + +A Tale of London + +"Come," said the Sultan to his hasheesh-eater in the very furthest +lands that know Bagdad, "dream to me now of London." + +And the hasheesh-eater made a low obeisance and seated himself +cross-legged upon a purple cushion broidered with golden poppies, on +the floor, beside an ivory bowl where the hasheesh was, and having +eaten liberally of the hasheesh blinked seven times and spoke thus: + +"O Friend of God, know then that London is the desiderate town even of +all Earth's cities. Its houses are of ebony and cedar which they roof +with thin copper plates that the hand of Time turns green. They have +golden balconies in which amethysts are where they sit and watch the +sunset. Musicians in the gloaming steal softly along the ways; unheard +their feet fall on the white sea-sand with which those ways are +strewn, and in the darkness suddenly they play on dulcimers and +instruments with strings. Then are there murmurs in the balconies +praising their skill, then are there bracelets cast down to them for +reward and golden necklaces and even pearls. + +"Indeed but the city is fair; there is by the sandy ways a paving all +alabaster, and the lanterns along it are of chrysoprase, all night +long they shine green, but of amethyst are the lanterns of the +balconies. + +"As the musicians go along the ways dancers gather about them and +dance upon the alabaster pavings, for joy and not for hire. Sometimes +a window opens far up in an ebony palace and a wreath is cast down to +a dancer or orchids showered upon them. + +"Indeed of many cities have I dreamt but of none fairer, through many +marble metropolitan gates hasheesh has led me, but London is its +secret, the last gate of all; the ivory bowl has nothing more to show. +And indeed even now the imps that crawl behind me and that will not +let me be are plucking me by the elbow and bidding my spirit return, +for well they know that I have seen too much. 'No, not London,' they +say; and therefore I will speak of some other city, a city of some +less mysterious land, and anger not the imps with forbidden things. I +will speak of Persepolis or famous Thebes." + +A shade of annoyance crossed the Sultan's face, a look of thunder that +you had scarcely seen, but in those lands they watched his visage +well, and though his spirit was wandering far away and his eyes were +bleared with hasheesh yet that storyteller there and then perceived +the look that was death, and sent his spirit back at once to London as +a man runs into his house when the thunder comes. + +"And therefore," he continued, "in the desiderate city, in London, all +their camels are pure white. Remarkable is the swiftness of their +horses, that draw their chariots that are of ivory along those sandy +ways and that are of surpassing lightness, they have little bells of +silver upon their horses' heads. O Friend of God, if you perceived +their merchants! The glory of their dresses in the noonday! They are +no less gorgeous than those butterflies that float about their +streets. They have overcloaks of green and vestments of azure, huge +purple flowers blaze on their overcloaks, the work of cunning needles, +the centres of the flowers are of gold and the petals of purple. All +their hats are black--" ("No, no," said the Sultan)--"but irises are +set about the brims, and green plumes float above the crowns of them. + +"They have a river that is named the Thames, on it their ships go up +with violet sails bringing incense for the braziers that perfume the +streets, new songs exchanged for gold with alien tribes, raw silver +for the statues of their heroes, gold to make balconies where the +women sit, great sapphires to reward their poets with, the secrets of +old cities and strange lands, the earning of the dwellers in far +isles, emeralds, diamonds, and the hoards of the sea. And whenever a +ship comes into port and furls its violet sails and the news spreads +through London that she has come, then all the merchants go down to +the river to barter, and all day long the chariots whirl through the +streets, and the sound of their going is a mighty roar all day until +evening, their roar is even like--" + +"Not so," said the Sultan. + +"Truth is not hidden from the Friend of God," replied the +hasheesh-eater, "I have erred being drunken with the hasheesh, for in +the desiderate city, even in London, so thick upon the ways is the +white sea-sand with which the city glimmers that no sound comes from +the path of the charioteers, but they go softly like a light +sea-wind." ("It is well," said the Sultan.) "They go softly down to +the port where the vessels are, and the merchandise in from the sea, +amongst the wonders that the sailors show, on land by the high ships, +and softly they go though swiftly at evening back to their homes. + +"O would that the Munificent, the Illustrious, the Friend of God, had +even seen these things, had seen the jewellers with their empty +baskets, bargaining there by the ships, when the barrels of emeralds +came up from the hold. Or would that he had seen the fountains there +in silver basins in the midst of the ways. I have seen small spires +upon their ebony houses and the spires were all of gold, birds +strutted there upon the copper roofs from golden spire to spire that +have no equal for splendour in all the woods of the world. And over +London the desiderate city the sky is so deep a blue that by this +alone the traveller may know where he has come, and may end his +fortunate journey. Nor yet for any colour of the sky is there too +great heat in London, for along its ways a wind blows always from the +South gently and cools the city. + +"Such, O Friend of God, is indeed the city of London, lying very far +off on the yonder side of Bagdad, without a peer for beauty or +excellence of its ways among the towns of the earth or cities of song; +and even so, as I have told, its fortunate citizens dwell, with their +hearts ever devising beautiful things and from the beauty of their own +fair work that is more abundant around them every year, receiving new +inspirations to work things more beautiful yet." + +"And is their government good?" the Sultan said. + +"It is most good," said the hasheesh-eater, and fell backwards upon +the floor. + +He lay thus and was silent. And when the Sultan perceived he would +speak no more that night he smiled and lightly applauded. + +And there was envy in that palace, in lands beyond Bagdad, of all that +dwell in London. + + + + + +Thirteen at Table + +In front of a spacious fireplace of the old kind, when the logs were +well alight, and men with pipes and glasses were gathered before it in +great easeful chairs, and the wild weather outside and the comfort +that was within, and the season of the year--for it was Christmas--and +the hour of the night, all called for the weird or uncanny, then out +spoke the ex-master of foxhounds and told this tale. + +I once had an odd experience too. It was when I had the Bromley and +Sydenham, the year I gave them up--as a matter of fact it was the last +day of the season. It was no use going on because there were no foxes +left in the county, and London was sweeping down on us. You could see +it from the kennels all along the skyline like a terrible army in +grey, and masses of villas every year came skirmishing down our +valleys. Our coverts were mostly on the hills, and as the town came +down upon the valleys the foxes used to leave them and go right away +out of the county and they never returned. I think they went by night +and moved great distances. Well it was early April and we had drawn +blank all day, and at the last draw of all, the very last of the +season, we found a fox. He left the covert with his back to London and +its railways and villas and wire and slipped away towards the chalk +country and open Kent. I felt as I once felt as a child on one +summer's day when I found a door in a garden where I played left +luckily ajar, and I pushed it open and the wide lands were before me +and waving fields of corn. + +We settled down into a steady gallop and the fields began to drift by +under us, and a great wind arose full of fresh breath. We left the +clay lands where the bracken grows and came to a valley at the edge of +the chalk. As we went down into it we saw the fox go up the other side +like a shadow that crosses the evening, and glide into a wood that +stood on the top. We saw a flash of primroses in the wood and we were +out the other side, hounds hunting perfectly and the fox still going +absolutely straight. It began to dawn on me then that we were in for a +great hunt, I took a deep breath when I thought of it; the taste of +the air of that perfect Spring afternoon as it came to one galloping, +and the thought of a great run, were together like some old rare wine. +Our faces now were to another valley, large fields led down to it, +with easy hedges, at the bottom of it a bright blue stream went +singing and a rambling village smoked, the sunlight on the opposite +slopes danced like a fairy; and all along the top old woods were +frowning, but they dreamed of Spring. The "field" had fallen of and +were far behind and my only human companion was James, my old first +whip, who had a hound's instinct, and a personal animosity against a +fox that even embittered his speech. + +Across the valley the fox went as straight as a railway line, and +again we went without a check straight through the woods at the top. I +remember hearing men sing or shout as they walked home from work, and +sometimes children whistled; the sounds came up from the village to +the woods at the top of the valley. After that we saw no more +villages, but valley after valley arose and fell before us as though +we were voyaging some strange and stormy sea, and all the way before +us the fox went dead up-wind like the fabulous Flying Dutchman. There +was no one in sight now but my first whip and me, we had both of us +got on to our second horses as we drew the last covert. + +Two or three times we checked in those great lonely valleys beyond the +village, but I began to have inspirations, I felt a strange certainty +within me that this fox was going on straight up-wind till he died or +until night came and we could hunt no longer, so I reversed ordinary +methods and only cast straight ahead and always we picked up the scent +again at once. I believe that this fox was the last one left in the +villa-haunted lands and that he was prepared to leave them for remote +uplands far from men, that if we had come the following day he would +not have been there, and that we just happened to hit off his journey. + +Evening began to descend upon the valleys, still the hounds drifted +on, like the lazy but unresting shadows of clouds upon a summer's day, +we heard a shepherd calling to his dog, we saw two maidens move +towards a hidden farm, one of them singing softly; no other sounds, +but ours, disturbed the leisure and the loneliness of haunts that +seemed not yet to have known the inventions of steam and gun-powder +(even as China, they say, in some of her further mountains does not +yet know that she has fought Japan). + +And now the day and our horses were wearing out, but that resolute fox +held on. I began to work out the run and to wonder where we were. The +last landmark I had ever seen before must have been over five miles +back and from there to the start was at least ten miles more. If only +we could kill! Then the sun set. I wondered what chance we had of +killing our fox. I looked at James' face as he rode beside me. He did +not seem to have lost any confidence yet his horse was as tired as +mine. It was a good clear twilight and the scent was as strong as +ever, and the fences were easy enough, but those valleys were terribly +trying and they still rolled on and on. It looked as if the light +would outlast all possible endurance both of the fox and the horses, +if the scent held good and he did not go to ground, otherwise night +would end it. For long we had seen no houses and no roads, only chalk +slopes with the twilight on them, and here and there some sheep, and +scattered copses darkening in the evening. At some moment I seemed to +realise all at once that the light was spent and that darkness was +hovering, I looked at James, he was solemnly shaking his head. +Suddenly in a little wooded valley we saw climb over the oaks the +red-brown gables of a queer old house, at that instant I saw the fox +scarcely heading by fifty yards. We blundered through a wood into full +sight of the house, but no avenue led up to it or even a path nor were +there any signs of wheel-marks anywhere. Already lights shone here and +there in windows. We were in a park, and a fine park, but unkempt +beyond credibility; brambles grew everywhere. It was too dark to see +the fox any more but we knew he was dead beat, the hounds were just +before us,--and a four-foot railing of oak. I shouldn't have tried it +on a fresh horse the beginning of a run, and here was a horse near his +last gasp. But what a run! an event standing out in a lifetime, and +the hounds close up on their fox, slipping into the darkness as I +hesitated. I decided to try it. My horse rose about eight inches and +took it fair with his breast, and the oak log flew into handfuls of +wet decay--it rotten with years. And then we were on a lawn and at the +far end of it the hounds were tumbling over their fox. Fox, hounds and +light were all done together at the of a twenty-mile point. We made +some noise then, but nobody came out of the queer old house. + +I felt pretty stiff as I walked round to the hall door with the mask +and the brush while James went with the hounds and the two horses to +look for the stables. I rang a bell marvellously encrusted with rust, +and after a long while the door opened a little way revealing a hall +with much old armour in it and the shabbiest butler that I have ever +known. + +I asked him who lived there. Sir Richard Arlen. I explained that my +horse could go no further that night and that I wished to ask Sir +Richard Arlen for a bed for the night. + +"O, no one ever comes here, sir," said the butler. + +I pointed out that I had come. + +"I don't think it would be possible, sir," he said. + +This annoyed me and I asked to see Sir Richard, and insisted until he +came. Then I apologised and explained the situation. He looked only +fifty, but a 'Varsity oar on the wall with the date of the early +seventies, made him older than that; his face had something of the shy +look of the hermit; he regretted that he had not room to put me up. I +was sure that this was untrue, also I had to be put up there, there +was nowhere else within miles, so I almost insisted. Then to my +astonishment he turned to the butler and they talked it over in an +undertone. At last they seemed to think that they could manage it, +though clearly with reluctance. It was by now seven o' clock and Sir +Richard told me he dined at half past seven. There was no question of +clothes for me other than those I stood in, as my host was shorter and +broader. He showed me presently to the drawing-room and there he +reappeared before half past seven in evening dress and a white +waistcoat. The drawing-room was large and contained old furniture but +it was rather worn than venerable, an Aubusson carpet flapped about +the floor, the wind seemed momently to enter the room, and old +draughts haunted corners; the stealthy feet of rats that were never at +rest indicated the extent of the ruin that time had wrought in the +wainscot; somewhere far off a shutter flapped to and fro, the +guttering candles were insufficient to light so large a room. The +gloom that these things suggested was quite in keeping with Sir +Richard's first remark to me after he entered the room: "I must tell +you, sir, that I have led a wicked life. O, a very wicked life." + +Such confidences from a man much older than oneself after one has +known him for half an hour are so rare that any possible answer merely +does not suggest itself. I said rather slowly, "O, really," and +chiefly to forestall another such remark I said "What a charming house +you have." + +"Yes," he said, "I have not left it for nearly forty years. Since I +left the 'Varsity. One is young there, you know, and one has +opportunities; but I make no excuses, no excuses." And the door +slipping its rusty latch, came drifting on the draught into the room, +and the long carpet flapped and the hangings upon the walls, then the +draught fell rustling away and the door slammed to again. + +"Ah, Marianne," he said, "we have a guest to-night. Mr. Linton. This +is Marianne Gib." And everything became clear to me. "Mad," I said to +myself, for no one had entered the room. + +The rats ran up the length of the room behind the wainscot +ceaselessly, and the wind unlatched the door again and the folds of +the carpet fluttered up to our feet and stopped there, for our weight +held it down. + +"Let me introduce Mr. Linton," said my host--"Lady Mary Errinjer." + +The door slammed back again. I bowed politely. Even had I been invited +I should have humoured him, but it was the very least that an +uninvited guest could do. + +This kind of thing happened eleven times, the rustling, and the +fluttering of the carpet and the footsteps of the rats, and the +restless door, and then the sad voice of my host introducing me to +phantoms. Then for some while we waited while I struggled with the +situation; conversation flowed slowly. And again the draught came +trailing up the room, while the flaring candles filled it with +hurrying shadows. "Ah, late again, Cicely," said my host in his soft, +mournful way. "Always late, Cicely." Then I went down to dinner with +that man and his mind and the twelve phantoms that haunted it. I found +a long table with fine old silver on it and places laid for fourteen. +The butler was now in evening dress, there were fewer draughts in the +dining-room, the scene was less gloomy there. "Will you sit next to +Rosalind at the other end," Richard said to me. "She always takes the +head of the table, I wronged her most of all." I said, "I shall be +delighted." + +I looked at the butler closely, but never did I see by any expression +of his face or by anything that he did any suggestion that he waited +upon less than fourteen people in the complete possession of all their +faculties. Perhaps a dish appeared to be refused more often than taken +but every glass was equally filled with champagne. At first I found +little to say, but when Sir Richard speaking from the far end of the +table said, "You are tired, Mr. Linton," I was reminded that I owed +something to a host upon whom I had forced myself. It was excellent +champagne and with the help of a second glass I made the effort to +begin a conversation with a Miss Helen Errold for whom the place upon +one side of me was laid. It came more easy to me very soon, I +frequently paused in my monologue, like Mark Anthony, for a reply, and +sometimes I turned and spoke to Miss Rosalind Smith. Sir Richard at +the other end talked sorrowfully on, he spoke as a condemned man might +speak to his judge, and yet somewhat as a judge might speak to one +that he once condemned wrongly. My own mind began to turn to mournful +things. I drank another glass of champagne, but I was still thirsty. I +felt as if all the moisture in my body had been blown away over the +downs of Kent by the wind up which we had galloped. Still I was not +talking enough; my host was looking at me. I made another effort, +after all I had something to talk about, a twenty-mile point is not +often seen in a lifetime, especially south of the Thames. I began to +describe the run to Rosalind Smith. I could see then that my host was +pleased, the sad look in his face gave a kind of a flicker, like mist +upon the mountains on a miserable day when a faint puff comes from the +sea and the mist would lift if it could. And the butler refilled my +glass very attentively. I asked her first if she hunted, and paused +and began my story. I told her where we had found the fox and how fast +and straight he had gone, and how I had got through the village by +keeping to the road, while the little gardens and wire, and then the +river, had stopped the rest of the field. I told her the kind of +country that we crossed and how splendid it looked in the Spring, and +how mysterious the valleys were as soon as the twilight came, and what +a glorious horse I had and how wonderfully he went. I was so fearfully +thirsty after the great hunt that I had to stop for a moment now and +then, but I went on with my description of that famous run, for I had +warmed to the subject, and after all there was nobody to tell of it +but me except my old whipper-in, and "the old fellow's probably drunk +by now," I thought. I described to her minutely the exact spot in the +run at which it had come to me clearly that this was going to be the +greatest hunt in the whole history of Kent. Sometimes I forgot +incidents that had happened as one well may in a run of twenty miles, +and then I had to fill in the gaps by inventing. I was pleased to be +able to make the party go off well by means of my conversation, and +besides that the lady to whom I was speaking was extremely pretty: I +do not mean in a flesh and blood kind of way but there were little +shadowy lines about the chair beside me that hinted at an unusually +graceful figure when Miss Rosalind Smith was alive; and I began to +perceive that what I first mistook for the smoke of guttering candles +and a table-cloth waving in the draught was in reality an extremely +animated company who listened, and not without interest, to my story +of by far the greatest hunt that the world had ever known: indeed I +told them that I would confidently go further and predict that never +in the history of the world would there be such a run again. Only my +throat was terribly dry. And then as it seemed they wanted to hear +more about my horse. I had forgotten that I had come there on a horse, +but when they reminded me it all came back; they looked so charming +leaning over the table intent upon what I said, that I told them +everything they wanted to know. Everything was going so pleasantly if +only Sir Richard would cheer up. I heard his mournful voice every now +and then--these were very pleasant people if only he would take them +the right way. I could understand that he regretted his past, but the +early seventies seemed centuries away and I felt sure that he +misunderstood these ladies, they were not revengeful as he seemed to +suppose. I wanted to show him how cheerful they really were, and so I +made a joke and they an laughed at it, and then I chaffed them a bit, +especially Rosalind, and nobody resented it in the very least. And +still Sir Richard sat there with that unhappy look, like one that has +ended weeping because it is vain and has not the consolation even of +tears. + +We had been a long time there and many of the candles had burned out, +but there was light enough. I was glad to have an audience for my +exploit, and being happy myself I was determined Sir Richard should +be. I made more jokes and they still laughed good-naturedly; some of +the jokes were a little broad perhaps but no harm was meant. And +then--I do not wish to excuse myself--but I had had a harder day than +I ever had had before and without knowing it I must have been +completely exhausted; in this state the champagne had found me, and +what would have been harmless at any other time must somehow have got +the better of me when quite tired out--anyhow I went too far, I made +some joke--I cannot in the least remember what--that suddenly seemed +to offend them. I felt all at once a commotion in the air, I looked up +and saw that they had all arisen from the table and were sweeping +towards the door: I had not time to open it but it blew open on a +wind, I could scarcely see what Sir Richard was doing because only two +candles were left, I think the rest blew out when the ladies suddenly +rose. I sprang up to apologise, to assure them--and then fatigue +overcame me as it had overcome my horse at the last fence, I clutched +at the table but the cloth came away and then I fell. The fall, and +the darkness on the floor and the pent up fatigue of the day overcame +me all three together. + +The sun shone over glittering fields and in at a bedroom window and +thousands of birds were chanting to the Spring, and there I was in an +old four-poster bed in a quaint old panelled bedroom, fully dressed +and wearing long muddy boots; someone had taken my spurs and that was +all. For a moment I failed to realise and then it all came back, my +enormity and the pressing need of an abject apology to Sir Richard. I +pulled an embroidered bell rope until the butler came. He came in +perfectly cheerful and indescribably shabby. I asked him if Sir +Richard was up, and he said he had just gone down, and told me to my +amazement that it was twelve o'clock. I asked to be shown in to Sir +Richard at once. He was in his smoking-room. "Good morning," he said +cheerfully the moment I went in. I went directly to the matter in +hand. "I fear that I insulted some ladies in your house--" I began. + +"You did indeed," he said, "You did indeed." And then he burst into +tears and took me by the hand. "How can I ever thank you?" he said to +me then. "We have been thirteen at table for thirty years and I never +dared to insult them because I had wronged them all, and now you have +done it and I know they will never dine here again." And for a long +time he still held my hand, and then he gave it a grip and a kind of a +shake which I took to mean "Goodbye" and I drew my hand away then and +left the house. And I found James in the stables with the hounds and +asked him how he had fared, and James, who is a man of very few words, +said he could not rightly remember, and I got my spurs from the butler +and climbed on to my horse and slowly we rode away from that queer old +house, and slowly we wended home, for the hounds were footsore but +happy and the horses were tired still. And when we recalled that the +hunting season was ended we turned our faces to Spring and thought of +the new things that try to replace the old. And that very year I +heard, and have often heard since, of dances and happier dinners at +Sir Richard Arlen's house. + + + + + +The City on Mallington Moor + +Besides the old shepherd at Lingwold whose habits render him +unreliable I am probably the only person that has ever seen the city +on Mallington Moor. + +I had decided one year to do no London season; partly because of the +ugliness of the things in the shops, partly because of the unresisted +invasions of German bands, partly perhaps because some pet parrots in +the oblong where I lived had learned to imitate cab-whistles; but +chiefly because of late there had seized me in London a quite +unreasonable longing for large woods and waste spaces, while the very +thought of little valleys underneath copses full of bracken and +foxgloves was a torment to me and every summer in London the longing +grew worse till the thing was becoming intolerable. So I took a stick +and a knapsack and began walking northwards, starting at Tetherington +and sleeping at inns, where one could get real salt, and the waiter +spoke English and where one had a name instead of a number; and though +the tablecloth might be dirty the windows opened so that the air was +clean, where one had the excellent company of farmers and men of the +wold, who could not be thoroughly vulgar, because they had not the +money to be so even if they had wished it. At first the novelty was +delightful, and then one day in a queer old inn up Uthering way, +beyond Lingwold, I heard for the first time the rumour of the city +said to be on Mallington Moor. They spoke of it quite casually over +their glasses of beer, two farmers at the inn. "They say the queer +folk be at Mallington with their city," one farmer said. "Travelling +they seem to be," said the other. And more came in then and the rumour +spread. And then, such are the contradictions of our little likes and +dislikes and all the whims that drive us, that I, who had come so far +to avoid cities, had a great longing all of a sudden for throngs again +and the great hives of Man, and then and there determined on that +bright Sunday morning to come to Mallington and there search for the +city that rumour spoke of so strangely. + +Mallington Moor, from all that they said of it, was hardly a likely +place to find a thing by searching. It was a huge high moor, very +bleak and desolate and altogether trackless. It seemed a lonely place +from what they said. The Normans when they came had called it Mal Lieu +and afterwards Mallintown and so it changed to Mallington. Though what +a town can ever have had to do with a place so utterly desolate I do +not know. And before that some say that the Saxons called it Baplas, +which I believe to be a corruption of Bad Place. + +And beyond the mere rumour of a beautiful city all of white marble and +with a foreign look up on Mallington Moor, beyond this I could not +get. None of them had seen it himself, "only heard of it like," and my +questions, rather than stimulating conversation, would always stop it +abruptly. I was no more fortunate on the road to Mallington until the +Tuesday, when I was quite near it; I had been walking two days from +the inn where I had heard the rumour and could see the great hill +steep as a headland on which Mallington lay, standing up on the +skyline: the hill was covered with grass, where anything grew at all, +but Mallington Moor is all heather; it is just marked Moor on the map; +nobody goes there and they do not trouble to name it. It was there +where the gaunt hill first came into sight, by the roadside as I +enquired for the marble city of some labourers by the way, that I was +directed, partly I think in derision, to the old shepherd of Lingwold. +It appeared that he, following sometimes sheep that had strayed, and +wandering far from Lingwold, came sometimes up to the edge of +Mallington Moor, and that he would come back from these excursions and +shout through the villages, raving of a city of white marble and +gold-tipped minarets. And hearing me asking questions of this city +they had laughed and directed me to the shepherd of Lingwold. One +well-meant warning they gave me as I went--the old man was not +reliable. + +And late that evening I saw the thatches of Lingwold sheltering under +the edge of that huge hill that Atlas-like held up those miles of moor +to the great winds and heaven. + +They knew less of the city in Lingwold than elsewhere but they knew +the whereabouts of the man I wanted, though they seemed a little +ashamed of him. There was an inn in Lingwold that gave me shelter, +whence in the morning, equipped with purchases, I set out to find +their shepherd. And there he was on the edge of Mallington Moor +standing motionless, gazing stupidly at his sheep; his hands trembled +continually and his eyes had a blear look, but he was quite sober, +wherein all Lingwold had wronged him. + +And then and there I asked him of the city and he said he had never +heard tell of any such place. And I said, "Come, come, you must pull +yourself together." And he looked angrily at me; but when he saw me +draw from amongst my purchases a full bottle of whiskey and a big +glass he became more friendly. As I poured out the whiskey I asked him +again about the marble city on Mallington Moor but he seemed quite +honestly to know nothing about it. The amount of whiskey he drank was +quite incredible, but I seldom express surprise and once more I asked +him the way to the wonderful city. His hand was steadier now and his +eyes more intelligent and he said that he had heard something of some +such city, but his memory was evidently blurred and he was still +unable to give me useful directions. I consequently gave him another +tumbler, which he drank off like the first without any water, and +almost at once he was a different man. The trembling in his hands +stopped altogether, his eye became as quick as a younger man's, he +answered my questions readily and frankly, and, what was more +important to me still, his old memory became alert and clear for even +minutest details. His gratitude to myself I need not mention, for I +make no pretence that I bought the bottle of whiskey that the old +shepherd enjoyed so much without at least some thought of my own +advantage. Yet it was pleasant to reflect that it was due to me that +he had pulled himself together and steadied his shaking hand and +cleared his mind, recovered his memory and his self-respect. He spoke +to me quite clearly, no longer slurring his words; he had seen the +city first one moonlight night when he was lost in the mist on the big +moor, he had wandered far in the mist, and when it lifted he saw the +city by moonlight. He had no food, but luckily had his flask. There +never was such a city, not even in books. Travellers talked sometimes +of Venice seen from the sea, there might be such a place or there +might not, but, whether or no, it was nothing to the city on +Mallington Moor. Men who read books had talked to him in his time, +hundreds of books, but they never could tell of any city like this. +Why, the place was all of marble, roads, walls and palaces, all pure +white marble, and the tops of the tall thin spires were entirely of +gold. And they were queer folk in the city even for foreigners. And +there were camels, but I cut him short for I thought I could judge for +myself, if there was such a place, and, if not, I was wasting my time +as well as a pint of good whiskey. So I got him to speak of the way, +and after more circumlocution than I needed and more talk of the city +he pointed to a tiny track on the black earth just beside us, a little +twisty way you could hardly see. + +I said the moor was trackless; untrodden of man or dog it certainly +was and seemed to have less to do with the ways of man than any waste +I have seen, but the track the old shepherd showed me, if track it +was, was no more than the track of a hare--an elf-path the old man +called it, Heaven knows what he meant. And then before I left him he +insisted on giving me his flask with the queer strong rum it +contained. Whiskey brings out in some men melancholy, in some +rejoicing, with him it was clearly generosity and he insisted until I +took his rum, though I did not mean to drink it. It was lonely up +there, he said, and bitter cold and the city hard to find, being set +in a hollow, and I should need the rum, and he had never seen the +marble city except on days when he had had his flask: he seemed to +regard that rusted iron flask as a sort of mascot, and in the end I +took it. + +I followed that odd, faint track on the black earth under the heather +till I came to the big grey stone beyond the horizon, where the track +divides into two, and I took the one to the left as the old man told +me. I knew by another stone that I saw far off that I had not lost my +way, nor the old man lied. + +And just as I hoped to see the city's ramparts before the gloaming +fell on that desolate place, I suddenly saw a long high wall of +whiteness with pinnacles here and there thrown up above it, floating +towards me silent and grim as a secret, and knew it for that evil +thing the mist. The sun, though low, was shining on every sprig of +heather, the green and scarlet mosses were shining with it too, it +seemed incredible that in three minutes' time all those colours would +be gone and nothing left all round but a grey darkness. I gave up hope +of finding the city that day, a broader path than mine could have been +quite easily lost. I hastily chose for my bed a thick patch of +heather, wrapped myself in a waterproof cloak, and lay down and made +myself comfortable. And then the mist came. It came like the careful +pulling of lace curtains, then like the drawing of grey blinds; it +shut out the horizon to the north, then to the east and west; it +turned the whole sky white and hid the moor; it came down on it like a +metropolis, only utterly silent, silent and white as tombstones. + +And then I was glad of that strange strong rum, or whatever it was in +the flask that the shepherd gave me, for I did not think that the mist +would clear till night, and I feared the night would be cold. So I +nearly emptied the flask; and, sooner than I expected, I fell asleep, +for the first night out as a rule one does not sleep at once but is +kept awake some while by the little winds and the unfamiliar sound of +the things that wander at night, and that cry to one another far-off +with their queer, faint voices; one misses them afterwards when one +gets to houses again. But I heard none of these sounds in the mist +that evening. + +And then I woke and found that the mist was gone and the sun was just +disappearing under the moor, and I knew that I had not slept for as +long as I thought. And I decided to go on while I could, for I thought +that I was not very far from the city. + +I went on and on along the twisty track, bits of the mist came down +and filled the hollows but lifted again at once so that I saw my way. +The twilight faded as I went, a star appeared, and I was able to see +the track no longer. I could go no further that night, yet before I +lay down to sleep I decided to go and look over the edge of a wide +depression in the moor that I saw a little way off. So I left the +track and walked a few hundred yards, and when I got to the edge the +hollow was full of mist all white underneath me. Another star appeared +and a cold wind arose, and with the wind the mist flapped away like a +curtain. And there was the city. + +Nothing the shepherd had said was the least untrue or even +exaggerated. The poor old man had told the simple truth, there is not +a city like it in the world. What he had called thin spires were +minarets, but the little domes on the top were clearly pure gold as he +said. There were the marble terraces he described and the pure white +palaces covered with carving and hundreds of minarets. The city was +obviously of the East and yet where there should have been crescents +on the domes of the minarets there were golden suns with rays, and +wherever one looked one saw things that obscured its origin. I walked +down to it, and, passing through a wicket gate of gold in a low wall +of white marble, I entered the city. The heather went right up to the +city's edge and beat against the marble wall whenever the wind blew +it. Lights began to twinkle from high windows of blue glass as I +walked up the white street, beautiful copper lanterns were lit up and +let down from balconies by silver chains, from doors ajar came the +sound of voices singing, and then I saw the men. Their faces were +rather grey than black, and they wore beautiful robes of coloured silk +with hems embroidered with gold and some with copper, and sometimes +pacing down the marble ways with golden baskets hung on each side of +them I saw the camels of which the old shepherd spoke. + +The people had kindly faces, but, though they were evidently friendly +to strangers, I could not speak with them being ignorant of their +language, nor were the sounds of the syllables they used like any +language I had ever heard: they sounded more like grouse. + +When I tried to ask them by signs whence they had come with their city +they would only point to the moon, which was bright and full and was +shining fiercely on those marble ways till the city danced in light. +And now there began appearing one by one, slipping softly out through +windows, men with stringed instruments in the balconies. They were +strange instruments with huge bulbs of wood, and they played softly on +them and very beautifully, and their queer voices softly sang to the +music weird dirges of the griefs of their native land wherever that +may be. And far off in the heart of the city others were singing too, +the sound of it came to me wherever I roamed, not loud enough to +disturb my thoughts, but gently turning the mind to pleasant things. +Slender carved arches of marble, as delicate almost as lace, crossed +and re-crossed the ways wherever I went. There was none of that hurry +of which foolish cities boast, nothing ugly or sordid so far as I +could see. I saw that it was a city of beauty and song. I wondered how +they had travelled with all that marble, how they had laid it down on +Mallington Moor, whence they had come and what their resources were, +and determined to investigate closely next morning, for the old +shepherd had not troubled his head to think how the city came, he had +only noted that the city was there (and of course no one believed him, +though that is partly his fault for his dissolute ways). But at night +one can see little and I had walked all day, so I determined to find a +place to rest in. And just as I was wondering whether to ask for +shelter of those silk-robed men by signs or whether to sleep outside +the walls and enter again in the morning, I came to a great archway in +one of the marble houses with two black curtains, embroidered below +with gold, hanging across it. Over the archway were carved apparently +in many tongues the words: "Here strangers rest." In Greek, Latin and +Spanish the sentence was repeated and there was writing also in the +language that you see on the walls of the great temples of Egypt, and +Arabic and what I took to be early Assyrian and one or two languages I +had never seen. I entered through the curtains and found a tesselated +marble court with golden braziers burning sleepy incense swinging by +chains from the roof, all round the walls were comfortable mattresses +lying upon the floor covered with cloths and silks. It must have been +ten o'clock and I was tired. Outside the music still softly filled the +streets, a man had set a lantern down on the marble way, five or six +sat down round him, and he was sonorously telling them a story. Inside +there were some already asleep on the beds, in the middle of the wide +court under the braziers a woman dressed in blue was singing very +gently, she did not move, but sung on and on, I never heard a song +that was so soothing. I lay down on one of the mattresses by the wall, +which was all inlaid with mosaics, and pulled over me some of the +cloths with their beautiful alien work, and almost immediately my +thoughts seemed part of the song that the woman was singing in the +midst of the court under the golden braziers that hung from the high +roof, and the song turned them to dreams, and so I fell asleep. + +A small wind having arisen, I was awakened by a sprig of heather that +beat continually against my face. It was morning on Mallington Moor, +and the city was quite gone. + + + + + +Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn + +In the Hall of the Ancient Company of Milkmen round the great +fireplace at the end, when the winter logs are burning and all the +craft are assembled they tell to-day, as their grandfathers told +before them, why the milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. + +When dawn comes creeping over the edges of hills, peers through the +tree-trunks making wonderful shadows, touches the tops of tall columns +of smoke going up from awakening cottages in the valleys, and breaks +all golden over Kentish fields, when going on tip-toe thence it comes +to the walls of London and slips all shyly up those gloomy streets the +milkman perceives it and shudders. + +A man may be a Milkman's Working Apprentice, may know what borax is +and how to mix it, yet not for that is the story told to him. There +are five men alone that tell that story, five men appointed by the +Master of the Company, by whom each place is filled as it falls +vacant, and if you do not hear it from one of them you hear the story +from no one and so can never know why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + +It is the way of one of these five men, greybeards all and milkmen +from infancy, to rub his hands by the fire when the great logs burn, +and to settle himself more easily in his chair, perhaps to sip some +drink far other than milk, then to look round to see that none are +there to whom it would not be fitting the tale should be told and, +looking from face to face and seeing none but the men of the Ancient +Company, and questioning mutely the rest of the five with his eyes, if +some of the five be there, and receiving their permission, to cough +and to tell the tale. And a great hush falls in the Hall of the +Ancient Company, and something about the shape of the roof and the +rafters makes the tale resonant all down the hall so that the youngest +hears it far away from the fire and knows, and dreams of the day when +perhaps he will tell himself why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + +Not as one tells some casual fact is it told, nor is it commented on +from man to man, but it is told by that great fire only and when the +occasion and the stillness of the room and the merit of the wine and +the profit of all seem to warrant it in the opinion of the five +deputed men: then does one of them tell it, as I have said, not +heralded by any master of ceremonies but as though it arose out of the +warmth of the fire before which his knotted hands would chance to be; +not a thing learned by rote, but told differently by each teller, and +differently according to his mood, yet never has one of them dared to +alter its salient points, there is none so base among the Company of +Milkmen. The Company of Powderers for the Face know of this story and +have envied it, the Worthy Company of Chin-Barbers, and the Company of +Whiskerers; but none have heard it in the Milkmen's Hall, through +whose wall no rumour of the secret goes, and though they have invented +tales of their own Antiquity mocks them. + +This mellow story was ripe with honourable years when milkmen wore +beaver hats, its origin was still mysterious when smocks were the +vogue, men asked one another when Stuarts were on the throne (and only +the Ancient Company knew the answer) why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. It is all for envy of this tale's reputation that +the Company of Powderers for the Face have invented the tale that they +too tell of an evening, "Why the Dog Barks when he hears the step of +the Baker"; and because probably all men know that tale the Company of +the Powderers for the Face have dared to consider it famous. Yet it +lacks mystery and is not ancient, is not fortified with classical +allusion, has no secret lore, is common to all who care for an idle +tale, and shares with "The Wars of the Elves," the Calf-butcher's +tale, and "The Story of the Unicorn and the Rose," which is the tale +of the Company of Horse-drivers, their obvious inferiority. + +But unlike all these tales so new to time, and many another that the +last two centuries tell, the tale that the milkmen tell ripples wisely +on, so full of quotation from the profoundest writers, so full of +recondite allusion, so deeply tinged with all the wisdom of man and +instructive with the experience of all times that they that hear it in +the Milkmen's Hall as they interpret allusion after allusion and trace +obscure quotation lose idle curiosity and forget to question why the +milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. + +You also, O my reader, give not yourself up to curiosity. Consider of +how many it is the bane. Would you to gratify this tear away the +mystery from the Milkmen's Hall and wrong the Ancient Company of +Milkmen? Would they if all the world knew it and it became a common +thing to tell that tale any more that they have told for the last four +hundred years? Rather a silence would settle upon their hall and a +universal regret for the ancient tale and the ancient winter evenings. +And though curiosity were a proper consideration yet even then this is +not the proper place nor this the proper occasion for the Tale. For +the proper place is only the Milkmen's Hall and the proper occasion +only when logs burn well and when wine has been deeply drunken, then +when the candles were burning well in long rows down to the dimness, +down to the darkness and mystery that lie at the end of the hall, then +were you one of the Company, and were I one of the five, would I rise +from my seat by the fireside and tell you with all the embellishments +that it has gleaned from the ages that story that is the heirloom of +the milkmen. And the long candles would burn lower and lower and +gutter and gutter away till they liquefied in their sockets, and +draughts would blow from the shadowy end of the hall stronger and +stronger till the shadows came after them, and still I would hold you +with that treasured story, not by any wit of mine but all for the sake +of its glamour and the times out of which it came; one by one the +candles would flare and die and, when all were gone, by the light of +ominous sparks when each milkman's face looks fearful to his fellow, +you would know, as now you cannot, why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + + + + + +The Bad Old Woman in Black + +The bad old woman in black ran down the street of the ox-butchers. + +Windows at once were opened high up in those crazy gables; heads were +thrust out: it was she. Then there arose the counsel of anxious +voices, calling sideways from window to window or across to opposite +houses. Why was she there with her sequins and bugles and old black +gown? Why had she left her dreaded house? On what fell errand she +hasted? + +They watched her lean, lithe figure, and the wind in that old black +dress, and soon she was gone from the cobbled street and under the +town's high gateway. She turned at once to her right and was hid from +the view of the houses. Then they all ran down to their doors, and +small groups formed on the pavement; there they took counsel together, +the eldest speaking first. Of what they had seen they said nothing, +for there was no doubt it was she; it was of the future they spoke, +and the future only. + +In what notorious thing would her errand end? What gains had tempted +her out from her fearful home? What brilliant but sinful scheme had +her genius planned? Above all, what future evil did this portend? Thus +at first it was only questions. And then the old grey-beards spoke, +each one to a little group; they had seen her out before, had known +her when she was younger, and had noted the evil things that had +followed her goings: the small groups listened well to their low and +earnest voices. No one asked questions now or guessed at her infamous +errand, but listened only to the wise old men who knew the things that +had been, and who told the younger men of the dooms that had come +before. + +Nobody knew how many times she had left her dreaded house; but the +oldest recounted all the times that they knew, and the way she had +gone each time, and the doom that had followed her going; and two +could remember the earthquake that there was in the street of the +shearers. + +So were there many tales of the times that were, told on the pavement +near the old green doors by the edge of the cobbled street, and the +experience that the aged men had bought with their white hairs might +be had cheap by the young. But from all their experience only this was +clear, that never twice in their lives had she done the same infamous +thing, and that the same calamity twice had never followed her goings. +Therefore it seemed that means were doubtful and few for finding out +what thing was about to befall; and an ominous feeling of gloom came +down on the street of the ox-butchers. And in the gloom grew fears of +the very worst. This comfort they only had when they put their fear +into words--that the doom that followed her goings had never yet been +anticipated. One feared that with magic she meant to move the moon; +and he would have dammed the high tide on the neighbouring coast, +knowing that as the moon attracted the sea the sea must attract the +moon, and hoping by his device to humble her spells. Another would +have fetched iron bars and clamped them across the street, remembering +the earthquake there was in the street of the shearers. Another would +have honoured his household gods, the little cat-faced idols seated +above his hearth, gods to whom magic was no unusual thing, and, having +paid their fees and honoured them well, would have put the whole case +before them. His scheme found favour with many, and yet at last was +rejected, for others ran indoors and brought out their gods, too, to +be honoured, till there was a herd of gods all seated there on the +pavement; yet would they have honoured them and put their case before +them but that a fat man ran up last of all, carefully holding under a +reverent arm his own two hound-faced gods, though he knew well--as, +indeed, all men must--that they were notoriously at war with the +little cat-faced idols. And although the animosities natural to faith +had all been lulled by the crisis, yet a look of anger had come into +the cat-like faces that no one dared disregard, and all perceived that +if they stayed a moment longer there would be flaming around them the +jealousy of the gods; so each man hastily took his idols home, leaving +the fat man insisting that his hound-faced gods should be honoured. + +Then there were schemes again and voices raised in debate, and many +new dangers feared and new plans made. + +But in the end they made no defence against danger, for they knew not +what it would be, but wrote upon parchment as a warning, and in order +that all might know: "_The bad old woman in black ran down the street +of the ox-butchers._" + + + + + +The Bird of the Difficult Eye + +Observant men and women that know their Bond Street well will +appreciate my astonishment when in a jewellers' shop I perceived that +nobody was furtively watching me. Not only this but when I even picked +up a little carved crystal to examine it no shop-assistants crowded +round me. I walked the whole length of the shop, still no one politely +followed. + +Seeing from this that some extraordinary revolution had occurred in +the jewelry business I went with my curiosity well aroused to a queer +old person half demon and half man who has an idol-shop in a byway of +the City and who keeps me informed of affairs at the Edge of the +World. And briefly over a pinch of heather incense that he takes by +way of snuff he gave me this tremendous information: that Mr. Neepy +Thang the son of Thangobrind had returned from the Edge of the World +and was even now in London. + +The information may not appear tremendous to those unacquainted with +the source of jewelry; but when I say that the only thief employed by +any West-end jeweller since famous Thangobrind's distressing doom is +this same Neepy Thang, and that for lightness of fingers and swiftness +of stockinged foot they have none better in Paris, it will be +understood why the Bond Street jewellers no longer cared what became +of their old stock. + +There were big diamonds in London that summer and a few considerable +sapphires. In certain astounding kingdoms behind the East strange +sovereigns missed from their turbans the heirlooms of ancient wars, +and here and there the keepers of crown jewels who had not heard the +stockinged feet of Thang, were questioned and died slowly. + +And the jewellers gave a little dinner to Thang at the Hotel Great +Magnificent; the windows had not been opened for five years and there +was wine at a guinea a bottle that you could not tell from champagne +and cigars at half a crown with a Havana label. Altogether it was a +splendid evening for Thang. + +But I have to tell of a far sadder thing than a dinner at a hotel. The +public require jewelry and jewelry must be obtained. I have to tell of +Neepy Thang's last journey. + +That year the fashion was emeralds. A man named Green had recently +crossed the Channel on a bicycle and the jewellers said that a green +stone would be particularly appropriate to commemorate the event and +recommended emeralds. + +Now a certain money-lender of Cheapside who had just been made a peer +had divided his gains into three equal parts; one for the purchase of +the peerage, country house and park, and the twenty thousand pheasants +that are absolutely essential, and one for the upkeep of the position, +while the third he banked abroad, partly to cheat the native +tax-gatherer and partly because it seemed to him that the days of the +Peerage were few and that he might at any moment be called upon to +start afresh elsewhere. In the upkeep of the position he included +jewelry for his wife and so it came about that Lord Castlenorman +placed an order with two well-known Bond-street jewellers named +Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell to the extent of £100,000 for a few +reliable emeralds. + +But the emeralds in stock were mostly small and shop-soiled and Neepy +Thang had to set out at once before he had had as much as a week in +London. I will briefly sketch his project. Not many knew it, for where +the form of business is blackmail the fewer creditors you have the +better (which of course in various degrees applies at all times). + +On the shores of the risky seas of Shiroora Shan grows one tree only +so that upon its branches if anywhere in the world there must build +its nest the Bird of the Difficult Eye. Neepy Thang had come by this +information, which was indeed the truth, that if the bird migrated to +Fairyland before the three eggs hatched out they would undoubtedly all +turn into emeralds, while if they hatched out first it would be a bad +business. + +When he had mentioned these eggs to Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell +they had said, "The very thing": they were men of few words, in +English, for it was not their native tongue. + +So Neepy Thang set out. He bought the purple ticket at Victoria +Station. He went by Herne Hill, Bromley and Bickley and passed St. +Mary Cray. At Eynsford he changed and taking a footpath along a +winding valley went wandering into the hills. And at the top of a hill +in a little wood, where all the anemones long since were over and the +perfume of mint and thyme from outside came drifting in with Thang, he +found once more the familiar path, age-old and fair as wonder, that +leads to the Edge of the World. Little to him were its sacred memories +that are one with the secret of earth, for he was on business, and +little would they be to me if I ever put them on paper. Let it suffice +that he went down that path going further and further from the fields +we know, and all the way he muttered to himself, "What if the eggs +hatch out and it be a bad business!" The glamour that is at all times +upon those lonely lands that lie at the back of the chalky hills of +Kent intensified as he went upon his journeys. Queerer and queerer +grew the things that he saw by little World-End Path. Many a twilight +descended upon that journey with all their mysteries, many a blaze of +stars; many a morning came flaming up to a tinkle of silvern horns; +till the outpost elves of Fairyland came in sight and the glittering +crests of Fairyland's three mountains betokened the journey's end. And +so with painful steps (for the shores of the world are covered with +huge crystals) he came to the risky seas of Shiroora Shan and saw them +pounding to gravel the wreckage of fallen stars, saw them and heard +their roar, those shipless seas that between earth and the fairies' +homes heave beneath some huge wind that is none of our four. And there +in the darkness on the grizzly coast, for darkness was swooping +slantwise down the sky as though with some evil purpose, there stood +that lonely, gnarled and deciduous tree. It was a bad place to be +found in after dark, and night descended with multitudes of stars, +beasts prowling in the blackness gluttered [See any dictionary, but in +vain.] at Neepy Thang. And there on a lower branch within easy reach +he clearly saw the Bird of the Difficult Eye sitting upon the nest for +which she is famous. Her face was towards those three inscrutable +mountains, far-off on the other side of the risky seas, whose hidden +valleys are Fairyland. Though not yet autumn in the fields we know, it +was close on midwinter here, the moment as Thang knew when those eggs +hatch out. Had he miscalculated and arrived a minute too late? Yet the +bird was even now about to migrate, her pinions fluttered and her gaze +was toward Fairyland. Thang hoped and muttered a prayer to those pagan +gods whose spite and vengeance he had most reason to fear. It seems +that it was too late or a prayer too small to placate them, for there +and then the stroke of midwinter came and the eggs hatched out in the +roar of Shiroora Shan or ever the bird was gone with her difficult eye +and it was a bad business indeed for Neepy Thang; I haven't the heart +to tell you any more. + +"'Ere," said Lord Castlenorman some few weeks later to Messrs. +Grosvenor and Campbell, "you aren't 'arf taking your time about those +emeralds." + + + + + +The Long Porter's Tale + +There are things that are known only to the long porter of Tong Tong +Tarrup as he sits and mumbles memories to himself in the little +bastion gateway. + +He remembers the war there was in the halls of the gnomes; and how the +fairies came for the opals once, which Tong Tong Tarrup has; and the +way that the giants went through the fields below, he watching from +his gateway: he remembers quests that are even yet a wonder to the +gods. Who dwells in those frozen houses on the high bare brink of the +world not even he has told me, and he is held to be garrulous. Among +the elves, the only living things ever seen moving at that awful +altitude where they quarry turquoise on Earth's highest crag, his name +is a byword for loquacity wherewith they mock the talkative. + +His favourite story if you offer him bash--the drug of which he is +fondest, and for which he will give his service in war to the elves +against the goblins, or vice-versa if the goblins bring him more--his +favourite story, when bodily soothed by the drug and mentally fiercely +excited, tells of a quest undertaken ever so long ago for nothing more +marketable than an old woman's song. + +Picture him telling it. An old man, lean and bearded, and almost +monstrously long, that lolled in a city's gateway on a crag perhaps +ten miles high; the houses for the most part facing eastward, lit by +the sun and moon and the constellations we know, but one house on the +pinnacle looking over the edge of the world and lit by the glimmer of +those unearthly spaces where one long evening wears away the stars: my +little offering of bash; a long forefinger that nipped it at once on a +stained and greedy thumb--all these are in the foreground of the +picture. In the background, the mystery of those silent houses and of +not knowing who their denizens were, or what service they had at the +hands of the long porter and what payment he had in return, and +whether he was mortal. + +Picture him in the gateway of this incredible town, having swallowed +my bash in silence, stretch his great length, lean back, and begin to +speak. + +It seems that one clear morning a hundred years ago, a visitor to Tong +Tong Tarrup was climbing up from the world. He had already passed +above the snow and had set his foot on a step of the earthward +stairway that goes down from Tong Tong Tarrup on to the rocks, when +the long porter saw him. And so painfully did he climb those easy +steps that the grizzled man on watch had long to wonder whether or not +the stranger brought him bash, the drug that gives a meaning to the +stars and seems to explain the twilight. And in the end there was not +a scrap of bash, and the stranger had nothing better to offer that +grizzled man than his mere story only. + +It seems that the stranger's name was Gerald Jones, and he always +lived in London; but once as a child he had been on a Northern moor. +It was so long ago that he did not remember how, only somehow or other +he walked alone on the moor, and all the ling was in flower. There was +nothing in sight but ling and heather and bracken, except, far off +near the sunset, on indistinct hills, there were little vague patches +that looked like the fields of men. With evening a mist crept up and +hid the hills, and still he went walking on over the moor. And then he +came to the valley, a tiny valley in the midst of the moor, whose +sides were incredibly steep. He lay down and looked at it through the +roots of the ling. And a long, long way below him, in a garden by a +cottage, with hollyhocks all round her that were taller than herself, +there sat an old woman on a wooden chair, singing in the evening. And +the man had taken a fancy to the song and remembered it after in +London, and whenever it came to his mind it made him think of +evenings--the kind you don't get in London--and he heard a soft wind +going idly over the moor and the bumble-bees in a hurry, and forgot +the noise of the traffic. And always, whenever he heard men speak of +Time, he grudged to Time most this song. Once afterwards he went to +that Northern moor again and found the tiny valley, but there was no +old woman in the garden, and no one was singing a song. And either +regret for the song that the old woman had sung, on a summer evening +twenty years away and daily receding, troubled his mind, or else the +wearisome work that he did in London, for he worked for a great firm +that was perfectly useless; and he grew old early, as men do in +cities. And at last, when melancholy brought only regret and the +uselessness of his work gained round him with age, he decided to +consult a magician. So to a magician he went and told him his +troubles, and particularly he told him how he had heard the song. "And +now," he said, "it is nowhere in the world." + +"Of course it is not in the world," the magician said, "but over the +Edge of the World you may easily find it." And he told the man that he +was suffering from flux of time and recommended a day at the Edge of +the World. Jones asked what part of the Edge of the World he should go +to, and the magician had heard Tong Tong Tarrup well spoken of; so he +paid him, as is usual, in opals, and started at once on the journey. +The ways to that town are winding; he took the ticket at Victoria +Station that they only give if they know you: he went past Bleth: he +went along the Hills of Neol-Hungar and came to the Gap of Poy. All +these are in that part of the world that pertains to the fields we +know; but beyond the Gap of Poy on those ordinary plains, that so +closely resemble Sussex, one first meets the unlikely. A line of +common grey hills, the Hills of Sneg, may be seen at the edge of the +plain from the Gap of Poy; it is there that the incredible begins, +infrequently at first, but happening more and more as you go up the +hills. For instance, descending once into Poy Plains, the first thing +that I saw was an ordinary shepherd watching a flock of ordinary +sheep. I looked at them for some time and nothing happened, when, +without a word, one of the sheep walked up to the shepherd and +borrowed his pipe and smoked it--an incident that struck me as +unlikely; but in the Hills of Sneg I met an honest politician. Over +these plains went Jones and over the Hills of Sneg, meeting at first +unlikely things, and then incredible things, till he came to the long +slope beyond the hills that leads up to the Edge of the World, and +where, as all guidebooks tell, anything may happen. You might at the +foot of this slope see here and there things that could conceivably +occur in the fields we know; but soon these disappeared, and the +traveller saw nothing but fabulous beasts, browsing on flowers as +astounding as themselves, and rocks so distorted that their shapes had +clearly a meaning, being too startling to be accidental. Even the +trees were shockingly unfamiliar, they had so much to say, and they +leant over to one another whenever they spoke and struck grotesque +attitudes and leered. Jones saw two fir-trees fighting. The effect of +these scenes on his nerves was very severe; still he climbed on, and +was much cheered at last by the sight of a primrose, the only familiar +thing he had seen for hours, but it whistled and skipped away. He saw +the unicorns in their secret valley. Then night in a sinister way +slipped over the sky, and there shone not only the stars, but lesser +and greater moons, and he heard dragons rattling in the dark. + +With dawn there appeared above him among its amazing crags the town of +Tong Tong Tarrup, with the light on its frozen stairs, a tiny cluster +of houses far up in the sky. He was on the steep mountain now: great +mists were leaving it slowly, and revealing, as they trailed away, +more and more astonishing things. Before the mist had all gone he +heard quite near him, on what he had thought was bare mountain, the +sound of a heavy galloping on turf. He had come to the plateau of the +centaurs. And all at once he saw them in the mist: there they were, +the children of fable, five enormous centaurs. Had he paused on +account of any astonishment he had not come so far: he strode on over +the plateau, and came quite near to the centaurs. It is never the +centaurs' wont to notice men; they pawed the ground and shouted to one +another in Greek, but they said no word to him. Nevertheless they +turned and stared at him when he left them, and when he had crossed +the plateau and still went on, all five of them cantered after to the +edge of their green land; for above the high green plateau of the +centaurs is nothing but naked mountains, and the last green thing that +is seen by the mountaineer as he travels to Tong Tong Tarrup is the +grass that the centaurs trample. He came into the snow fields that the +mountain wears like a cape, its head being bare above it, and still +climbed on. The centaurs watched him with increasing wonder. + +Not even fabulous beasts were near him now, nor strange demoniac +trees--nothing but snow and the clean bare crag above it on which was +Tong Tong Tarrup. All day he climbed and evening found him above the +snow-line; and soon he came to the stairway cut in the rock and in +sight of that grizzled man, the long porter of Tong Tong Tarrup, +sitting mumbling amazing memories to himself and expecting in vain +from the stranger a gift of bash. + +It seems that as soon as the stranger arrived at the bastion gateway, +tired though he was, he demanded lodgings at once that commanded a +good view of the Edge of the World. But the long porter, that grizzled +man, disappointed of his bash, demanded the stranger's story to add to +his memories before he would show him the way. And this is the story, +if the long porter has told me the truth and if his memory is still +what it was. And when the story was told, the grizzled man arose, and, +dangling his musical keys, went up through door after door and by many +stairs and led the stranger to the top-most house, the highest roof in +the world, and in its parlour showed him the parlour window. There the +tired stranger sat down in a chair and gazed out of the window sheer +over the Edge of the World. The window was shut, and in its glittering +panes the twilight of the World's Edge blazed and danced, partly like +glow-worms' lamps and partly like the sea; it went by rippling, full +of wonderful moons. But the traveller did not look at the wonderful +moons. For from the abyss there grew with their roots in far +constellations a row of hollyhocks, and amongst them a small green +garden quivered and trembled as scenes tremble in water; higher up, +ling in bloom was floating upon the twilight, more and more floated up +till all the twilight was purple; the little green garden low down was +hung in the midst of it. And the garden down below, and the ling all +round it, seemed all to be trembling and drifting on a song. For the +twilight was full of a song that sang and rang along the edges of the +World, and the green garden and the ling seemed to flicker and ripple +with it as the song rose and fell, and an old woman was singing it +down in the garden. A bumble-bee sailed across from over the Edge of +the World. And the song that was lapping there against the coasts of +the World, and to which the stars were dancing, was the same that he +had heard the old woman sing long since down in the valley in the +midst of the Northern moor. + +But that grizzled man, the long porter, would not let the stranger +stay, because he brought him no bash, and impatiently he shouldered +him away, himself not troubling to glance through the World's +outermost window, for the lands that Time afflicts and the spaces that +Time knows not are all one to that grizzled man, and the bash that he +eats more profoundly astounds his mind than anything man can show him +either in the World we know or over the Edge. And, bitterly +protesting, the traveller went back and down again to the World. + + . . . . . + +Accustomed as I am to the incredible from knowing the Edge of the +World, the story presents difficulties to me. Yet it may be that the +devastation wrought by Time is merely local, and that outside the +scope of his destruction old songs are still being sung by those that +we deem dead. I try to hope so. And yet the more I investigate the +story that the long porter told me in the town of Tong Tong Tarrup the +more plausible the alternative theory appears--that that grizzled man +is a liar. + + + + + +The Loot of Loma + +Coming back laden with the loot of Loma, the four tall men looked +earnestly to the right; to the left they durst not, for the precipice +there that had been with them so long went sickly down on to a bank of +clouds, and how much further below that only their fears could say. + +Loma lay smoking, a city of ruin, behind them, all its defenders dead; +there was no one left to pursue them, and yet their Indian instincts +told them that all was scarcely well. They had gone three days along +that narrow ledge: mountain quite smooth, incredible, above them, and +precipice as smooth and as far below. It was chilly there in the +mountains; at night a stream or a wind in the gloom of the chasm below +them went like a whisper; the stillness of all things else began to +wear the nerve--an enemy's howl would have braced them; they began to +wish their perilous path were wider, they began to wish that they had +not sacked Loma. + +Had that path been any wider the sacking of Loma must indeed have been +harder for them, for the citizens must have fortified the city but +that the awful narrowness of that ten-league pass of the hills had +made their crag-surrounded city secure. And at last an Indian had +said, "Come, let us sack it." Grimly they laughed in the wigwams. Only +the eagles, they said, had ever seen it, its hoard of emeralds and its +golden gods; and one had said he would reach it, and they answered, +"Only the eagles." + +It was Laughing Face who said it, and who gathered thirty braves and +led them into Loma with their tomahawks and their bows; there were +only four left now, but they had the loot of Loma on a mule. They had +four golden gods, a hundred emeralds, fifty-two rubies, a large silver +gong, two sticks of malachite with amethyst handles for holding +incense at religious feasts, four beakers one foot high, each carved +from a rose-quartz crystal; a little coffer carved out of two +diamonds, and (had they but known it) the written curse of a priest. +It was written on parchment in an unknown tongue, and had been slipped +in with the loot by a dying hand. + +From either end of that narrow, terrible ledge the third night was +closing in; it was dropping down on them from the heights of the +mountain and slipping up to them out of the abyss, the third night +since Loma blazed and they had left it. Three more days of tramping +should bring them in triumph home, and yet their instincts said that +all was scarcely well. We who sit at home and draw the blinds and shut +the shutters as soon as night appears, who gather round the fire when +the wind is wild, who pray at regular seasons and in familiar shrines, +know little of the demoniac look of night when it is filled with +curses of false, infuriated gods. Such a night was this. Though in the +heights the fleecy clouds were idle, yet the wind was stirring +mournfully in the abyss and moaning as it stirred, unhappily at first +and full of sorrow; but as day turned away from that awful path a very +definite menace entered its voice which fast grew louder and louder, +and night came on with a long howl. Shadows repeatedly passed over the +stars, and then a mist fell swiftly, as though there were something +suddenly to be done and utterly to be hidden, as in very truth there +was. + +And in the chill of that mist the four tall men prayed to their +totems, the whimsical wooden figures that stood so far away, watching +the pleasant wigwams; the firelight even now would be dancing over +their faces, while there would come to their ears delectable tales of +war. They halted upon the pass and prayed, and waited for any sign. +For a man's totem may be in the likeness perhaps of an otter, and a +man may pray, and if his totem be placable and watching over his man a +noise may be heard at once like the noise that the otter makes, though +it be but a stone that falls on another stone; and the noise is a +sign. The four men's totems that stood so far away were in the +likeness of the coney, the bear, the heron, and the lizard. They +waited, and no sign came. With all the noises of the wind in the +abyss, no noise was like the thump that the coney makes, nor the +bear's growl, nor the heron's screech, nor the rustle of the lizard in +the reeds. + +It seemed that the wind was saying something over and over again, and +that that thing was evil. They prayed again to their totems, and no +sign came. And then they knew that there was some power that night +that was prevailing against the pleasant carvings on painted poles of +wood with the firelight on their faces so far away. Now it was clear +that the wind was saying something, some very, very dreadful thing in +a tongue that they did not know. They listened, but they could not +tell what it said. Nobody could have said from seeing their faces how +much the four tall men desired the wigwams again, desired the +camp-fire and the tales of war and the benignant totems that listened +and smiled in the dusk: nobody could have seen how well they knew that +this was no common night or wholesome mist. + +When at last no answer came nor any sign from their totems, they +pulled out of the bag those golden gods that Loma gave not up except +in flames and when all her men were dead. They had large ruby eyes and +emerald tongues. They set them down upon that mountain pass, the +cross-legged idols with their emerald tongues; and having placed +between them a few decent yards, as it seemed meet there should be +between gods and men, they bowed them down and prayed in their +desperate straits in that dank, ominous night to the gods they had +wronged, for it seemed that there was a vengeance upon the hills and +that they would scarce escape, as the wind knew well. And the gods +laughed, all four, and wagged their emerald tongues; the Indians saw +them, though the night had fallen and though the mist was low. The +four tall men leaped up at once from their knees and would have left +the gods upon the pass but that they feared some hunter of their tribe +might one day find them and say of Laughing Face, "He fled and left +behind his golden gods," and sell the gold and come with his wealth to +the wigwams and be greater than Laughing Face and his three men. And +then they would have cast the gods away, down the abyss, with their +eyes and their emerald tongues, but they knew that enough already they +had wronged Loma's gods, and feared that vengeance enough was waiting +them on the hills. So they packed them back in the bag on the +frightened mule, the bag that held the curse they knew nothing of, and +so pushed on into the menacing night. Till midnight they plodded on +and would not sleep; grimmer and grimmer grew the look of the night, +and the wind more full of meaning, and the mule knew and trembled, and +it seemed that the wind knew, too, as did the instincts of those four +tall men, though they could not reason it out, try how they would. + +And though the squaws waited long where the pass winds out of the +mountains, near where the wigwams are upon the plains, the wigwams and +the totems and the fire, and though they watched by day, and for many +nights uttered familiar calls, still did they never see those four +tall men emerge out of the mountains any more, even though they prayed +to their totems upon their painted poles; but the curse in the +mystical writing that they had unknown in their bag worked there on +that lonely pass six leagues from the ruins of Loma, and nobody can +tell us what it was. + + + + + +The Secret of the Sea + +In an ill-lit ancient tavern that I know, are many tales of the sea; +but not without the wine of Gorgondy, that I had of a private bargain +from the gnomes, was the tale laid bare for which I had waited of an +evening for the greater part of a year. + +I knew my man and listened to his stories, sitting amid the bluster of +his oaths; I plied him with rum and whiskey and mixed drinks, but +there never came the tale for which I sought, and as a last resort I +went to the Huthneth Mountains and bargained there all night with the +chiefs of the gnomes. + +When I came to the ancient tavern and entered the low-roofed room, +bringing the hoard of the gnomes in a bottle of hammered iron, my man +had not yet arrived. The sailors laughed at my old iron bottle, but I +sat down and waited; had I opened it then they would have wept and +sung. I was well content to wait, for I knew my man had the story, and +it was such a one as had profoundly stirred the incredulity of the +faithless. + +He entered and greeted me, and sat down and called for brandy. He was +a hard man to turn from his purpose, and, uncorking my iron bottle, I +sought to dissuade him from brandy for fear that when the brandy, bit +his throat he should refuse to leave it for any other wine. He lifted +his head and said deep and dreadful things of any man that should dare +to speak against brandy. + +I swore that I said nothing against brandy but added that it was often +given to children, while Gorgondy was only drunk by men of such +depravity that they had abandoned sin because all the usual vices had +come to seem genteel. When he asked if Gorgondy was a bad wine to +drink I said that it was so bad that if a man sipped it that was the +one touch that made damnation certain. Then he asked me what I had in +the iron bottle, and I said it was Gorgondy; and then he shouted for +the largest tumbler in that ill-lit ancient tavern, and stood up and +shook his fist at me when it came, and swore, and told me to fill it +with the wine that I got on that bitter night from the treasure house +of the gnomes. + +As he drank it he told me that he had met men who had spoken against +wine, and that they had mentioned Heaven; and therefore he would not +go there--no, not he; and that once he had sent one of them to Hell, +but when he got there he would turn him out, and he had no use for +milksops. + +Over the second tumbler he was thoughtful, but still he said no word +of the tale he knew, until I feared that it would never be heard. But +when the third glass of that terrific wine had burned its way down his +gullet, and vindicated the wickedness of the gnomes, his reticence +withered like a leaf in the fire, and he bellowed out the secret. + +I had long known that there is in ships a will or way of their own, +and had even suspected that when sailors die or abandon their ships at +sea, a derelict, being left to her own devices, may seek her own ends; +but I had never dreamed by night, or fancied during the day, that the +ships had a god that they worshipped, or that they secretly slipped +away to a temple in the sea. + +Over the fourth glass of the wine that the gnomes so sinfully brew but +have kept so wisely from man, until the bargain that I had with their +elders all through that autumn night, the sailor told me the story. I +do not tell it as he told it to me because of the oaths that were in +it; nor is it from delicacy that I refrain from writing these oaths +verbatim, but merely because the horror they caused in me at the time +troubles me still whenever I put them on paper, and I continue to +shudder until I have blotted them out. Therefore, I tell the story in +my own words, which, if they possess a certain decency that was not in +the mouth of that sailor, unfortunately do not smack, as his did, of +rum and blood and the sea. + +You would take a ship to be a dead thing like a table, as dead as bits +of iron and canvas and wood. That is because you always live on shore, +and have never seen the sea, and drink milk. Milk is a more accursed +drink than water. + +What with the captain and what with the man at the wheel, and what +with the crew, a ship has no fair chance of showing a will of her own. + +There is only one moment in the history of ships, that carry crews on +board, when they act by their own free will. This moment comes when +all the crew are drunk. As the last man falls drunk on to the deck, +the ship is free of man, and immediately slips away. She slips away at +once on a new course and is never one yard out in a hundred miles. + +It was like this one night with the Sea-Fancy. Bill Smiles was there +himself, and can vouch for it. Bill Smiles has never told this tale +before for fear that anyone should call him a liar. Nobody dislikes +being hung as much as Bill Smiles would, but he won't be called a +liar. I tell the tale as I heard it, relevancies and irrelevancies, +though in my more decent words; and as I made no doubts of the truth +of it then, I hardly like to now; others can please themselves. + +It is not often that the whole of a crew is drunk. The crew of +the Sea-Fancy was no drunkener than others. It happened like this. + +The captain was always drunk. One day a fancy he had that some spiders +were plotting against him, or a sudden bleeding he had from both his +ears, made him think that drinking might be bad for his health. Next +day he signed the pledge. He was sober all that morning and all the +afternoon, but at evening he saw a sailor drinking a a glass of beer, +and a fit of madness seized him, and he said things that seemed bad to +Bill Smiles. And next morning he made all of them take the pledge. + +For two days nobody had a drop to drink, unless you count water, and +on the third morning the captain was quite drunk. It stood to reason +they all had a glass or two then, except the man at the wheel; and +towards evening the man at the wheel could bear it no longer, and +seems to have had his glass like all the rest, for the ship's course +wobbled a bit and made a circle or two. Then all of a sudden she went +off south by east under full canvas till midnight, and never altered +her course. And at midnight she came to the wide wet courts of the +Temple in the Sea. + +People who think that Mr. Smiles is drunk often make a great mistake. And +people are not the only ones that have made that mistake. Once a +ship made it, and a lot of ships. It's a mistake to think that old Bill +Smiles is drunk just because he can't move. + +Midnight and moonlight and the Temple in the Sea Bill Smiles clearly +remembers, and all the derelicts in the world were there, the old +abandoned ships. The figureheads were nodding to themselves and +blinking at the image. The image was a woman of white marble on a +pedestal in the outer court of the Temple of the Sea: she was clearly +the love of all the man-deserted ships, or the goddess to whom they +prayed their heathen prayers. And as Bill Smiles was watching them, +the lips of the figureheads moved; they all began to pray. But all at +once their lips were closed with a snap when they saw that there were +men on the Sea-Fancy. They all came crowding up and nodded and nodded +and nodded to see if all were drunk, and that's when they made their +mistake about old Bill Smiles, although he couldn't move. They would +have given up the treasuries of the gulfs sooner than let men hear the +prayers they said or guess their love for the goddess. It is the +intimate secret of the sea. + +The sailor paused. And, in my eagerness to hear what lyrical or +blasphemous thing those figureheads prayed by moonlight at midnight in +the sea to the woman of marble who was a goddess to ships, I pressed +on the sailor more of my Gorgondy wine that the gnomes so wickedly +brew. + +I should never have done it; but there he was sitting silent while the +secret was almost mine. He took it moodily and drank a glass; and with +the other glasses that he had had he fell a prey to the villainy of +the gnomes who brew this unbridled wine to no good end. His body +leaned forward slowly, then fell on to the table, his face being +sideways and full of a wicked smile, and, saying very clearly the one +word, "Hell," he became silent for ever with the secret he had from +the sea. + + + + + +How Ali Came to the Black Country + +Shooshan the barber went to Shep the maker of teeth to discuss the +state of England. They agreed that it was time to send for Ali. + +So Shooshan stepped late that night from the little shop near Fleet +Street and made his way back again to his house in the ends of London +and sent at once the message that brought Ali. + +And Ali came, mostly on foot, from the country of Persia, and it took +him a year to come; but when he came he was welcome. + +And Shep told Ali what was the matter with England and Shooshan swore +that it was so, and Ali looking out of the window of the little shop +near Fleet Street beheld the ways of London and audibly blessed King +Solomon and his seal. + +When Shep and Shooshan heard the names of King Solomon and his seal +both asked, as they had scarcely dared before, if Ali had it. Ali +patted a little bundle of silks that he drew from his inner raiment. +It was there. + +Now concerning the movements and courses of the stars and the +influence on them of spirits of Earth and devils this age has been +rightly named by some The Second Age of Ignorance. But Ali knew. And +by watching nightly, for seven nights in Bagdad, the way of certain +stars he had found out the dwelling place of Him they Needed. + +Guided by Ali all three set forth for the Midlands. And by the +reverence that was manifest in the faces of Shep and Shooshan towards +the person of Ali, some knew what Ali carried, while others said that +it was the tablets of the Law, others the name of God, and others that +he must have a lot of money about him. So they passed Slod and Apton. + +And at last they came to the town for which Ali sought, that spot over +which he had seen the shy stars wheel and swerve away from their +orbits, being troubled. Verily when they came there were no stars, +though it was midnight. And Ali said that it was the appointed place. +In harems in Persia in the evening when the tales go round it is still +told how Ali and Shep and Shooshan came to the Black country. + +When it was dawn they looked upon the country and saw how it was +without doubt the appointed place, even as Ali had said, for the earth +had been taken out of pits and burned and left lying in heaps, and +there were many factories, and they stood over the town and as it were +rejoiced. And with one voice Shep and Shooshan gave praise to Ali. + +And Ali said that the great ones of the place must needs be gathered +together, and to this end Shep and Shooshan went into the town and +there spoke craftily. For they said that Ali had of his wisdom +contrived as it were a patent and a novelty which should greatly +benefit England. And when they heard how he sought nothing for his +novelty save only to benefit mankind they consented to speak with Ali +and see his novelty. And they came forth and met Ali. + +And Ali spake and said unto them: "O lords of this place; in the book +that all men know it is written how that a fisherman casting his net +into the sea drew up a bottle of brass, and when he took the stopper +from the bottle a dreadful genie of horrible aspect rose from the +bottle, as it were like a smoke, even to darkening the sky, whereat +the fisherman..." And the great ones of that place said: "We have +heard the story." And Ali said: "What became of that genie after he +was safely thrown back into the sea is not properly spoken of by any +save those that pursue the study of demons and not with certainty by +any man, but that the stopper that bore the ineffable seal and bears +it to this day became separate from the bottle is among those things +that man may know." And when there was doubt among the great ones Ali +drew forth his bundle and one by one removed those many silks till the +seal stood revealed; and some of them knew it for the seal and others +knew it not. + +And they looked curiously at it and listened to Ali, and Ali said: + +"Having heard how evil is the case of England, how a smoke has +darkened the country, and in places (as men say) the grass is black, +and how even yet your factories multiply, and haste and noise have +become such that men have no time for song, I have therefore come at +the bidding of my good friend Shooshan, barber of London, and of Shep, +a maker of teeth, to make things well with you." + +And they said: "But where is your patent and your novelty?" + +And Ali said: "Have I not here the stopper and on it, as good men +know, the ineffable seal? Now I have learned in Persia how that your +trains that make the haste, and hurry men to and fro, and your +factories and the digging of your pits and all the things that are +evil are everyone of them caused and brought about by steam." + +"Is it not so?" said Shooshan. + +"It is even so," said Shep. + +"Now it is clear," said Ali, "that the chief devil that vexes England +and has done all this harm, who herds men into cities and will not let +them rest, is even the devil Steam." + +Then the great ones would have rebuked him but one said: "No, let us +hear him, perhaps his patent may improve on steam." + +And to them hearkening Ali went on thus: "O Lords of this place, let +there be made a bottle of strong steel, for I have no bottle with my +stopper, and this being done let all the factories, trains, digging of +pits, and all evil things soever that may be done by steam be stopped +for seven days, and the men that tend them shall go free, but the +steel bottle for my stopper I will leave open in a likely place. Now +that chief devil, Steam, finding no factories to enter into, nor no +trains, sirens nor pits prepared for him, and being curious and +accustomed to steel pots, will verily enter one night into the bottle +that you shall make for my stopper, and I shall spring forth from my +hiding with my stopper and fasten him down with the ineffable seal +which is the seal of King Solomon and deliver him up to you that you +cast him into the sea." + +And the great ones answered Ali and they said: "But what should we +gain if we lose our prosperity and be no longer rich?" + +And Ali said: "When we have cast this devil into the sea there will +come back again the woods and ferns and all the beautiful things that +the world hath, the little leaping hares shall be seen at play, there +shall be music on the hills again, and at twilight ease and quiet and +after the twilight stars." + +And "Verily," said Shooshan, "there shall be the dance again." + +"Aye," said Shep, "there shall be the country dance." + +But the great ones spake and said, denying Ali: "We will make no such +bottle for your stopper nor stop our healthy factories or good trains, +nor cease from our digging of pits nor do anything that you desire, +for an interference with steam would strike at the roots of that +prosperity that you see so plentifully all around us." + +Thus they dismissed Ali there and then from that place where the earth +was torn up and burnt, being taken out of pits, and where factories +blazed all night with a demoniac glare; and they dismissed with him +both Shooshan, the barber, and Shep, the maker of teeth: so that a +week later Ali started from Calais on his long walk back to Persia. + +And all this happened thirty years ago, and Shep is an old man now and +Shooshan older, and many mouths have bit with the teeth of Shep (for +he has a knack of getting them back whenever his customers die), and +they have written again to Ali away in the country of Persia with +these words, saying: + +"O Ali. The devil has indeed begotten a devil, even that spirit +Petrol. And the young devil waxeth, and increaseth in lustihood and is +ten years old and becoming like to his father. Come therefore and help +us with the ineffable seal. For there is none like Ali." + +And Ali turns where his slaves scatter rose-leaves, letting the letter +fall, and deeply draws from his hookah a puff of the scented smoke, +right down into his lungs, and sighs it forth and smiles, and lolling +round on to his other elbow speaks comfortably and says, "And shall a +man go twice to the help of a dog?" + +And with these words he thinks no more of England but ponders again +the inscrutable ways of God. + + + + + +The Bureau d'Echange de Maux + +I often think of the Bureau d'Echange de Maux and the wondrously evil +old man that sate therein. It stood in a little street that there is +in Paris, its doorway made of three brown beams of wood, the top one +overlapping the others like the Greek letter _pi_, all the rest +painted green, a house far lower and narrower than its neighbours and +infinitely stranger, a thing to take one's fancy. And over the doorway +on the old brown beam in faded yellow letters this legend ran, Bureau +Universel d'Echanges de Maux. + +I entered at once and accosted the listless man that lolled on a stool +by his counter. I demanded the wherefore of his wonderful house, what +evil wares he exchanged, with many other things that I wished to know, +for curiosity led me; and indeed had it not I had gone at once from +that shop, for there was so evil a look in that fattened man, in the +hang of his fallen cheeks and his sinful eye, that you would have said +he had had dealings with Hell and won the advantage by sheer +wickedness. + +Such a man was mine host; but above all the evil of him lay in his +eyes, which lay so still, so apathetic, that you would have sworn that +he was drugged or dead; like lizards motionless on a wall they lay, +then suddenly they darted, and all his cunning flamed up and revealed +itself in what one moment before seemed no more than a sleepy and +ordinary wicked old man. And this was the object and trade of that +peculiar shop, the Bureau Universel d'Echange de Maux: you paid twenty +francs, which the old man proceeded to take from me, for admission to +the bureau and then had the right to exchange any evil or misfortune +with anyone on the premises for some evil or misfortune that he "could +afford," as the old man put it. + +There were four or five men in the dingy ends of that low-ceilinged +room who gesticulated and muttered softly in twos as men who make a +bargain, and now and then more came in, and the eyes of the flabby +owner of the house leaped up at them as they entered, seemed to know +their errands at once and each one's peculiar need, and fell back +again into somnolence, receiving his twenty francs in an almost +lifeless hand and biting the coin as though in pure absence of mind. + +"Some of my clients," he told me. So amazing to me was the trade of +this extraordinary shop that I engaged the old man in conversation, +repulsive though he was, and from his garrulity I gathered these +facts. He spoke in perfect English though his utterance was somewhat +thick and heavy; no language seemed to come amiss to him. He had been +in business a great many years, how many he would not say, and was far +older than he looked. All kinds of people did business in his shop. +What they exchanged with each other he did not care except that it had +to be evils, he was not empowered to carry on any other kind of +business. + +There was no evil, he told me, that was not negotiable there; no evil +the old man knew had ever been taken away in despair from his shop. A +man might have to wait and come back again next day, and next day and +the day after, paying twenty francs each time, but the old man had the +addresses of all his clients and shrewdly knew their needs, and soon +the right two met and eagerly exchanged their commodities. +"Commodities" was the old man's terrible word, said with a gruesome +smack of his heavy lips, for he took a pride in his business and evils +to him were goods. + +I learned from him in ten minutes very much of human nature, more than +I have ever learned from any other man; I learned from him that a +man's own evil is to him the worst thing there is or ever could be, +and that an evil so unbalances all men's minds that they always seek +for extremes in that small grim shop. A woman that had no children had +exchanged with an impoverished half-maddened creature with twelve. On +one occasion a man had exchanged wisdom for folly. + +"Why on earth did he do that?" I said. + +"None of my business," the old man answered in his heavy indolent way. +He merely took his twenty francs from each and ratified the agreement +in the little room at the back opening out of the shop where his +clients do business. Apparently the man that had parted with wisdom +had left the shop upon the tips of his toes with a happy though +foolish expression all over his face, but the other went thoughtfully +away wearing a troubled and very puzzled look. Almost always it seemed +they did business in opposite evils. + +But the thing that puzzled me most in all my talks with that unwieldy +man, the thing that puzzles me still, is that none that had once done +business in that shop ever returned again; a man might come day after +day for many weeks, but once do business and he never returned; so +much the old man told me, but when I asked him why, he only muttered +that he did not know. + +It was to discover the wherefore of this strange thing and for no +other reason at all that I determined myself to do business sooner or +later in the little room at the back of that mysterious shop. I +determined to exchange some very trivial evil for some evil equally +slight, to seek for myself an advantage so very small as scarcely to +give Fate as it were a grip, for I deeply distrusted these bargains, +knowing well that man has never yet benefited by the marvellous and +that the more miraculous his advantage appears to be the more securely +and tightly do the gods or the witches catch him. In a few days more I +was going back to England and I was beginning to fear that I should be +sea-sick: this fear of sea-sickness, not the actual malady but only +the mere fear of it, I decided to exchange for a suitably little evil. +I did not know with whom I should be dealing, who in reality was the +head of the firm (one never does when shopping) but I decided that +neither Jew nor Devil could make very much on so small a bargain as +that. + +I told the old man my project, and he scoffed at the smallness of my +commodity trying to urge me to some darker bargain, but could not move +me from my purpose. And then he told me tales with a somewhat boastful +air of the big business, the great bargains that had passed through +his hands. A man had once run in there to try and exchange death, he +had swallowed poison by accident and had only twelve hours to live. +That sinister old man had been able to oblige him. A client was +willing to exchange the commodity. + +"But what did he give in exchange for death?" I said. + +"Life," said that grim old man with a furtive chuckle. + +"It must have been a horrible life," I said. + +"That was not my affair," the proprietor said, lazily rattling +together as he spoke a little pocketful of twenty-franc pieces. + +Strange business I watched in that shop for the next few days, the +exchange of odd commodities, and heard strange mutterings in corners +amongst couples who presently rose and went to the back room, the old +man following to ratify. + +Twice a day for a week I paid my twenty francs, watching life with its +great needs and its little needs morning and afternoon spread out +before me in all its wonderful variety. + +And one day I met a comfortable man with only a little need, he seemed +to have the very evil I wanted. He always feared the lift was going to +break. I knew too much of hydraulics to fear things as silly as that, +but it was not my business to cure his ridiculous fear. Very few words +were needed to convince him that mine was the evil for him, he never +crossed the sea, and I on the other hand could always walk upstairs, +and I also felt at the time, as many must feel in that shop, that so +absurd a fear could never trouble me. And yet at times it is almost +the curse of my life. When we both had signed the parchment in the +spidery back room and the old man had signed and ratified (for which +we had to pay him fifty francs each) I went back to my hotel, and +there I saw the deadly thing in the basement. They asked me if I would +go upstairs in the lift, from force of habit I risked it, and I held +my breath all the way and clenched my hands. Nothing will induce me to +try such a journey again. I would sooner go up to my room in a +balloon. And why? Because if a balloon goes wrong you have a chance, +it may spread out into a parachute after it has burst, it may catch in +a tree, a hundred and one things may happen, but if the lift falls +down its shaft you are done. As for sea-sickness I shall never be sick +again, I cannot tell you why except that I know that it is so. + +And the shop in which I made this remarkable bargain, the shop to +which none return when their business is done: I set out for it next +day. Blindfold I could have found my way to the unfashionable quarter +out of which a mean street runs, where you take the alley at the end, +whence runs the cul de sac where the queer shop stood. A shop with +pillars, fluted and painted red, stands on its near side, its other +neighbour is a low-class jeweller's with little silver brooches in the +window. In such incongruous company stood the shop with beams with its +walls painted green. + +In half an hour I found the cul de sac to which I had gone twice a day +for the last week, I found the shop with the ugly painted pillars and +the jeweller that sold brooches, but the green house with the three +beams was gone. + +Pulled down, you will say, although in a single night. That can never +be the answer to the mystery, for the house of the fluted pillars +painted on plaster and the low-class jeweller's shop with its silver +brooches (all of which I could identify one by one) were standing side +by side. + + + + + +A Story of Land and Sea + +It is written in the first Book of Wonder how Captain Shard of the bad +ship Desperate Lark, having looted the sea-coast city Bombasharna, +retired from active life; and resigning piracy to younger men, with +the good will of the North and South Atlantic, settled down with a +captured queen on his floating island. + +Sometimes he sank a ship for the sake of old times but he no longer +hovered along the trade-routes; and timid merchants watched for other +men. + +It was not age that caused him to leave his romantic profession; nor +unworthiness of its traditions, nor gun-shot wound, nor drink; but +grim necessity and force majeure. Five navies were after him. How he +gave them the slip one day in the Mediterranean, how he fought with +the Arabs, how a ship's broadside was heard in Lat. 23 N. Long. 4 E. +for the first time and the last, with other things unknown to +Admiralties, I shall proceed to tell. + +He had had his fling, had Shard, captain of pirates, and all his merry +men wore pearls in their ear-rings; and now the English fleet was +after him under full sail along the coast of Spain with a good North +wind behind them. They were not gaining much on Shard's rakish craft, +the bad ship Desperate Lark, yet they were closer than was to his +liking, and they interfered with business. + +For a day and a night they had chased him, when off Cape St. Vincent +at about six a.m. Shard took that step that decided his retirement +from active life, he turned for the Mediterranean. Had he held on +Southwards down the African coast it is doubtful whether in face of +the interference of England, Russia, France, Denmark and Spain, he +could have made piracy pay; but in turning for the Mediterranean he +took what we may call the penultimate step of his life which meant for +him settling down. There were three great courses of action invented +by Shard in his youth, upon which he pondered by day and brooded by +night, consolations in all his dangers, secret even from his men, +three means of escape as he hoped from any peril that might meet him +on the sea. One of these was the floating island that the Book of +Wonder tells of, another was so fantastic that we may doubt if even +the brilliant audacity of Shard could ever have found it practicable, +at least he never tried it so far as is known in that tavern by the +sea in which I glean my news, and the third he determined on carrying +out as he turned that morning for the Mediterranean. True he might yet +have practised piracy in spite of the step that he took, a little +later when the seas grew quiet, but that penultimate step was like +that small house in the country that the business man has his eye on, +like some snug investment put away for old age, there are certain +final courses in men's lives which after taking they never go back to +business. + +He turned then for the Mediterranean with the English fleet behind +him, and his men wondered. + +What madness was this,--muttered Bill the Boatswain in Old Frank's +only ear, with the French fleet waiting in the Gulf of Lyons and the +Spaniards all the way between Sardinia and Tunis: for they knew the +Spaniards' ways. And they made a deputation and waited upon Captain +Shard, all of them sober and wearing their costly clothes, and they +said that the Mediterranean was a trap, and all he said was that the +North wind should hold. And the crew said they were done. + +So they entered the Mediterranean and the English fleet came up and +closed the straits. And Shard went tacking along the Moroccan coast +with a dozen frigates behind him. And the North wind grew in strength. +And not till evening did he speak to his crew, and then he gathered +them all together except the man at the helm, and politely asked them +to come down to the hold. And there he showed them six immense steel +axles and a dozen low iron wheels of enormous width which none had +seen before; and he told his crew how all unknown to the world his +keel had been specially fitted for these same axles and wheels, and +how he meant soon to sail to the wide Atlantic again, though not by +the way of the straits. And when they heard the name of the Atlantic +all his merry men cheered, for they looked on the Atlantic as a wide +safe sea. + +And night came down and Captain Shard sent for his diver. With the sea +getting up it was hard work for the diver, but by midnight things were +done to Shard's satisfaction, and the diver said that of all the jobs +he had done--but finding no apt comparison, and being in need of a +drink, silence fell on him and soon sleep, and his comrades carried +him away to his hammock. All the next day the chase went on with the +English well in sight, for Shard had lost time overnight with his +wheels and axles, and the danger of meeting the Spaniards increased +every hour; and evening came when every minute seemed dangerous, yet +they still went tacking on towards the East where they knew the +Spaniards must be. + +And at last they sighted their topsails right ahead, and still Shard +went on. It was a close thing, but night was coming on, and the Union +Jack which he hoisted helped Shard with the Spaniards for the last few +anxious minutes, though it seemed to anger the English, but as Shard +said, "There's no pleasing everyone," and then the twilight shivered +into darkness. + +"Hard to starboard," said Captain Shard. + +The North wind which had risen all day was now blowing a gale. I do +not know what part of the coast Shard steered for, but Shard knew, for +the coasts of the world were to him what Margate is to some of us. + +At a place where the desert rolling up from mystery and from death, +yea, from the heart of Africa, emerges upon the sea, no less grand +than her, no less terrible, even there they sighted the land quite +close, almost in darkness. Shard ordered every man to the hinder part +of the ship and all the ballast too; and soon the Desperate Lark, her +prow a little high out of the water, doing her eighteen knots before +the wind, struck a sandy beach and shuddered, she heeled over a +little, then righted herself, and slowly headed into the interior of +Africa. + +The men would have given three cheers, but after the first Shard +silenced them and, steering the ship himself, he made them a short +speech while the broad wheels pounded slowly over the African sand, +doing barely five knots in a gale. The perils of the sea he said had +been greatly exaggerated. Ships had been sailing the sea for hundreds +of years and at sea you knew what to do, but on land this was +different. They were on land now and they were not to forget it. At +sea you might make as much noise as you pleased and no harm was done, +but on land anything might happen. One of the perils of the land that +he instanced was that of hanging. For every hundred men that they hung +on land, he said, not more than twenty would be hung at sea. The men +were to sleep at their guns. They would not go far that night; for the +risk of being wrecked at night was another danger peculiar to the +land, while at sea you might sail from set of sun till dawn: yet it +was essential to get out of sight of the sea for if anyone knew they +were there they'd have cavalry after them. And he had sent back +Smerdrak (a young lieutenant of pirates) to cover their tracks where +they came up from the sea. And the merry men vigorously nodded their +heads though they did not dare to cheer, and presently Smerdrak came +running up and they threw him a rope by the stern. And when they had +done fifteen knots they anchored, and Captain Shard gathered his men +about him and, standing by the land-wheel in the bows, under the large +and clear Algerian stars, he explained his system of steering. There +was not much to be said for it, he had with considerable ingenuity +detached and pivoted the portion of the keel that held the leading +axle and could move it by chains which were controlled from the +land-wheel, thus the front pair of wheels could be deflected at will, +but only very slightly, and they afterwards found that in a hundred +yards they could only turn their ship four yards from her course. But +let not captains of comfortable battleships, or owners even of yachts, +criticise too harshly a man who was not of their time and who knew not +modern contrivances; it should be remembered also that Shard was no +longer at sea. His steering may have been clumsy but he did what he +could. + +When the use and limitations of his land-wheel had been made clear to +his men, Shard bade them all turn in except those on watch. Long +before dawn he woke them and by the very first gleam of light they got +their ship under way, so that when those two fleets that had made so +sure of Shard closed in like a great crescent on the Algerian coast +there was no sign to see of the Desperate Lark either on sea or land; +and the flags of the Admiral's ship broke out into a hearty English +oath. + +The gale blew for three days and, Shard using more sail by daylight, +they scudded over the sands at little less than ten knots, though on +the report of rough water ahead (as the lookout man called rocks, low +hills or uneven surface before he adapted himself to his new +surroundings) the rate was much decreased. Those were long summer days +and Shard who was anxious while the wind held good to outpace the +rumour of his own appearance sailed for nineteen hours a day, lying to +at ten in the evening and hoisting sail again at three a.m. when it +first began to be light. + +In those three days he did five hundred miles; then the wind dropped +to a breeze though it still blew from the North, and for a week they +did no more than two knots an hour. The merry men began to murmur +then. Luck had distinctly favoured Shard at first for it sent him at +ten knots through the only populous districts well ahead of crowds +except those who chose to run, and the cavalry were away on a local +raid. As for the runners they soon dropped off when Shard pointed his +cannon though he did not dare to fire, up there near the coast; for +much as he jeered at the intelligence of the English and Spanish +Admirals in not suspecting his manoeuvre, the only one as he said that +was possible in the circumstances, yet he knew that cannon had an +obvious sound which would give his secret away to the weakest mind. +Certainly luck had befriended him, and when it did so no longer he +made out of the occasion all that could be made; for instance while +the wind held good he had never missed opportunities to revictual, if +he passed by a village its pigs and poultry were his, and whenever he +passed by water he filled his tanks to the brim, and now that he could +only do two knots he sailed all night with a man and a lantern before +him: thus in that week he did close on four hundred miles while +another man would have anchored at night and have missed five or six +hours out of the twenty-four. Yet his men murmured. Did he think the +wind would last for ever, they said. And Shard only smoked. It was +clear that he was thinking, and thinking hard. "But what is he +thinking about?" said Bill to Bad Jack. And Bad Jack answered: "He may +think as hard as he likes but thinking won't get us out of the Sahara +if this wind were to drop." + +And towards the end of that week Shard went to his chart-room and laid +a new course for his ship a little to the East and towards +cultivation. And one day towards evening they sighted a village, and +twilight came and the wind dropped altogether. Then the murmurs of the +merry men grew to oaths and nearly to mutiny. "Where were they now?" +they asked, and were they being treated like poor honest men? + +Shard quieted them by asking what they wished to do themselves and +when no one had any better plan than going to the villagers and saying +that they had been blown out of their course by a storm, Shard +unfolded his scheme to them. Long ago he had heard how they drove +carts with oxen in Africa, oxen were very numerous in these parts +wherever there was any cultivation, and for this reason when the wind +had begun to drop he had laid his course for the village: that night +the moment it was dark they were to drive off fifty yoke of oxen; by +midnight they must all be yoked to the bows and then away they would +go at a good round gallop. + +So fine a plan as this astonished the men and they all apologised for +their want of faith in Shard, shaking hands with him every one and +spitting on their hands before they did so in token of good will. + +The raid that night succeeded admirably, but ingenious as Shard was on +land, and a past-master at sea, yet it must be admitted that lack of +experience in this class of seamanship led him to make a mistake, a +slight one it is true, and one that a little practice would have +prevented altogether: the oxen could not gallop. Shard swore at them, +threatened them with his pistol, said they should have no food, and +all to no avail: that night and as long as they pulled the bad ship +Desperate Lark they did one knot an hour and no more. Shard's failures +like everything that came his way were used as stones in the edifice +of his future success, he went at once to his chart-room and worked +out all his calculations anew. + +The matter of the oxen's pace made pursuit impossible to avoid. Shard +therefore countermanded his order to his lieutenant to cover the +tracks in the sand, and the Desperate Lark plodded on into the Sahara +on her new course trusting to her guns. + +The village was not a large one and the little crowd that was sighted +astern next morning disappeared after the first shot from the cannon +in the stern. At first Shard made the oxen wear rough iron bits, +another of his mistakes, and strong bits too. "For if they run away," +he had said, "we might as well be driving before a gale and there's no +saying where we'd find ourselves," but after a day or two he found +that the bits were no good and, like the practical man he was, +immediately corrected his mistake. + +And now the crew sang merry songs all day bringing out mandolins and +clarionets and cheering Captain Shard. All were jolly except the +captain himself whose face was moody and perplexed; he alone expected +to hear more of those villagers; and the oxen were drinking up the +water every day, he alone feared that there was no more to be had, and +a very unpleasant fear that is when your ship is becalmed in a desert. +For over a week they went on like this doing ten knots a day and the +music and singing got on the captain's nerves, but he dared not tell +his men what the trouble was. And then one day the oxen drank up the +last of the water. And Lieutenant Smerdrak came and reported the fact. + +"Give them rum," said Shard, and he cursed the oxen. "What is good +enough for me," he said, "should be good enough for them," and he +swore that they should have rum. + +"Aye, aye, sir," said the young lieutenant of pirates. + +Shard should not be judged by the orders he gave that day, for nearly +a fortnight he had watched the doom that was coming slowly towards +him, discipline cut him off from anyone that might have shared his +fear and discussed it, and all the while he had had to navigate his +ship, which even at sea is an arduous responsibility. These things had +fretted the calm of that clear judgment that had once baffled five +navies. Therefore he cursed the oxen and ordered them rum, and +Smerdrak had said "Aye, aye, sir," and gone below. + +Towards sunset Shard was standing on the poop, thinking of death; it +would not come to him by thirst; mutiny first, he thought. The oxen +were refusing rum for the last time, and the men were beginning to eye +Captain Shard in a very ominous way, not muttering, but each man +looking at him with a sidelong look of the eye as though there were +only one thought among them all that had no need of words. A score of +geese like a long letter "V" were crossing the evening sky, they +slanted their necks and all went twisting downwards somewhere about +the horizon. Captain Shard rushed to his chart-room, and presently the +men came in at the door with Old Frank in front looking awkward and +twisting his cap in his hand. + +"What is it?" said Shard as though nothing were wrong. + +Then Old Frank said what he had come to say: "We want to know what you +be going to do." + +And the men nodded grimly. + +"Get water for the oxen," said Captain Shard, "as the swine won't have +rum, and they'll have to work for it, the lazy beasts. Up anchor!" + +And at the word water a look came into their faces like when some +wanderer suddenly thinks of home. + +"Water!" they said. + +"Why not?" said Captain Shard. And none of them ever knew that but for +those geese, that slanted their necks and suddenly twisted downwards, +they would have found no water that night nor ever after, and the +Sahara would have taken them as she has taken so many and shall take +so many more. All that night they followed their new course: at dawn +they found an oasis and the oxen drank. + +And here, on this green acre or so with its palm-trees and its well, +beleaguered by thousands of miles of desert and holding out through +the ages, here they decided to stay: for those who have been without +water for a while in one of Africa's deserts come to have for that +simple fluid such a regard as you, O reader, might not easily credit. +And here each man chose a site where he would build his hut, and +settle down, and marry perhaps, and even forget the sea; when Captain +Shard having filled his tanks and barrels peremptorily ordered them to +weigh anchor. There was much dissatisfaction, even some grumbling, but +when a man has twice saved his fellows from death by the sheer +freshness of his mind they come to have a respect for his judgment +that is not shaken by trifles. It must be remembered that in the +affair of the dropping of the wind and again when they ran out of +water these men were at their wits' end: so was Shard on the last +occasion, but that they did not know. All this Shard knew, and he +chose this occasion to strengthen the reputation that he had in the +minds of the men of that bad ship by explaining to them his motives, +which usually he kept secret. The oasis he said must be a port of call +for all the travellers within hundreds of miles: how many men did you +see gathered together in any part of the world where there was a drop +of whiskey to be had! And water here was rarer than whiskey in decent +countries and, such was the peculiarity of the Arabs, even more +precious. Another thing he pointed out to them, the Arabs were a +singularly inquisitive people and if they came upon a ship in the +desert they would probably talk about it; and the world having a +wickedly malicious tongue would never construe in its proper light +their difference with the English and Spanish fleets, but would merely +side with the strong against the weak. + +And the men sighed, and sang the capstan song and hoisted the anchor +and yoked the oxen up, and away they went doing their steady knot, +which nothing could increase. It may be thought strange that with all +sail furled in dead calm and while the oxen rested they should have +cast anchor at all. But custom is not easily overcome and long +survives its use. Rather enquire how many such useless customs we +ourselves preserve: the flaps for instance to pull up the tops of +hunting-boots though the tops no longer pull up, the bows on our +evening shoes that neither tie nor untie. They said they felt safer +that way and there was an end of it. + +Shard lay a course of South by West and they did ten knots that day, +the next day they did seven or eight and Shard hove to. Here he +intended to stop, they had huge supplies of fodder on board for the +oxen, for his men he had a pig or so, plenty of poultry, several sacks +of biscuits and ninety-eight oxen (for two were already eaten), and +they were only twenty miles from water. Here he said they would stay +till folks forgot their past, someone would invent something or some +new thing would turn up to take folks' minds off them and the ships he +had sunk: he forgot that there are men who are well paid to remember. + +Half way between him and the oasis he established a little depot where +he buried his water-barrels. As soon as a barrel was empty he sent +half a dozen men to roll it by turns to the depot. This they would do +at night, keeping hid by day, and next night they would push on to the +oasis, fill the barrel and roll it back. Thus only ten miles away he +soon had a store of water, unknown to the thirstiest native of Africa, +from which he could safely replenish his tanks at will. He allowed his +men to sing and even within reason to light fires. Those were jolly +nights while the rum held out; sometimes they saw gazelles watching +them curiously, sometimes a lion went by over the sand, the sound of +his roar added to their sense of the security of their ship; all round +them level, immense lay the Sahara: "This is better than an English +prison," said Captain Shard. + +And still the dead calm lasted, not even the sand whispered at night +to little winds; and when the rum gave out and it looked like trouble, +Shard reminded them what little use it had been to them when it was +all they had and the oxen wouldn't look at it. + +And the days wore on with singing, and even dancing at times, and at +nights round a cautious fire in a hollow of sand with only one man on +watch they told tales of the sea. It was all a relief after arduous +watches and sleeping by the guns, a rest to strained nerves and eyes; +and all agreed, for all that they missed their rum, that the best +place for a ship like theirs was the land. + +This was in Latitude 23 North, Longitude 4 East, where, as I have +said, a ship's broadside was heard for the first time and the last. It +happened this way. + +They had been there several weeks and had eaten perhaps ten or a dozen +oxen and all that while there had been no breath of wind and they had +seen no one: when one morning about two bells when the crew were at +breakfast the lookout man reported cavalry on the port side. Shard who +had already surrounded his ship with sharpened stakes ordered all his +men on board, the young trumpeter who prided himself on having picked +up the ways of the land, sounded "Prepare to receive cavalry". Shard +sent a few men below with pikes to the lower port-holes, two more +aloft with muskets, the rest to the guns, he changed the "grape" or +"canister" with which the guns were loaded in case of surprise, for +shot, cleared the decks, drew in ladders, and before the cavalry came +within range everything was ready for them. The oxen were always yoked +in order that Shard could manoeuvre his ship at a moment's notice. + +When first sighted the cavalry were trotting but they were coming on +now at a slow canter. Arabs in white robes on good horses. Shard +estimated that there were two or three hundred of them. At sixty yards +Shard opened with one gun, he had had the distance measured, but had +never practised for fear of being heard at the oasis: the shot went +high. The next one fell short and ricochetted over the Arabs' heads. +Shard had the range then and by the time the ten remaining guns of his +broadside were given the same elevation as that of his second gun the +Arabs had come to the spot where the last shot pitched. The broadside +hit the horses, mostly low, and ricochetted on amongst them; one +cannon-ball striking a rock at the horses' feet shattered it and sent +fragments flying amongst the Arabs with the peculiar scream of things +set free by projectiles from their motionless harmless state, and the +cannon-ball went on with them with a great howl, this shot alone +killed three men. + +"Very satisfactory," said Shard rubbing his chin. "Load with grape," +he added sharply. + +The broadside did not stop the Arabs nor even reduce their speed but +they crowded in closer together as though for company in their time of +danger, which they should not have done. They were four hundred yards +off now, three hundred and fifty; and then the muskets began, for the +two men in the crow's-nest had thirty loaded muskets besides a few +pistols, the muskets all stood round them leaning against the rail; +they picked them up and fired them one by one. Every shot told, but +still the Arabs came on. They were galloping now. It took some time to +load the guns in those days. Three hundred yards, two hundred and +fifty, men dropping all the way, two hundred yards; Old Frank for all +his one ear had terrible eyes; it was pistols now, they had fired all +their muskets; a hundred and fifty; Shard had marked the fifties with +little white stones. Old Frank and Bad Jack up aloft felt pretty +uneasy when they saw the Arabs had come to that little white stone, +they both missed their shots. + +"All ready?" said Captain Shard. + +"Aye, aye, sir," said Smerdrak. + +"Right," said Captain Shard raising a finger. + +A hundred and fifty yards is a bad range at which to be caught by +grape (or "case" as we call it now), the gunners can hardly miss and +the charge has time to spread. Shard estimated afterwards that he got +thirty Arabs by that broadside alone and as many horses. + +There were close on two hundred of them still on their horses, yet the +broadside of grape had unsettled them, they surged round the ship but +seemed doubtful what to do. They carried swords and scimitars in their +hands, though most had strange long muskets slung behind them, a few +unslung them and began firing wildly. They could not reach Shard's +merry men with their swords. Had it not been for that broadside that +took them when it did they might have climbed up from their horses and +carried the bad ship by sheer force of numbers, but they would have +had to have been very steady, and the broadside spoiled all that. +Their best course was to have concentrated all their efforts in +setting fire to the ship but this they did not attempt. Part of them +swarmed all round the ship brandishing their swords and looking vainly +for an easy entrance; perhaps they expected a door, they were not +sea-faring people; but their leaders were evidently set on driving off +the oxen not dreaming that the Desperate Lark had other means of +travelling. And this to some extent they succeeded in doing. Thirty +they drove off, cutting the traces, twenty they killed on the spot +with their scimitars though the bow gun caught them twice as they did +their work, and ten more were unluckily killed by Shard's bow gun. +Before they could fire a third time from the bows they all galloped +away, firing back at the oxen with their muskets and killing three +more, and what troubled Shard more than the loss of his oxen was the +way that they manoeuvred, galloping off just when the bow gun was +ready and riding off by the port bow where the broadside could not get +them, which seemed to him to show more knowledge of guns than they +could have learned on that bright morning. What, thought Shard to +himself, if they should bring big guns against the Desperate Lark! And +the mere thought of it made him rail at Fate. But the merry men all +cheered when they rode away. Shard had only twenty-two oxen left, and +then a score or so of the Arabs dismounted while the rest rode further +on leading their horses. And the dismounted men lay down on the port +bow behind some rocks two hundred yards away and began to shoot at the +oxen. Shard had just enough of them left to manoeuvre his ship with an +effort and he turned his ship a few points to the starboard so as to +get a broadside at the rocks. But grape was of no use here as the only +way he could get an Arab was by hitting one of the rocks with shot +behind which an Arab was lying, and the rocks were not easy to hit +except by chance, and as often as he manoeuvred his ship the Arabs +changed their ground. This went on all day while the mounted Arabs +hovered out of range watching what Shard would do; and all the while +the oxen were growing fewer, so good a mark were they, until only ten +were left, and the ship could manoeuvre no longer. But then they all +rode off. + +The merry men were delighted, they calculated that one way and another +they had unhorsed a hundred Arabs and on board there had been no more +than one man wounded: Bad Jack had been hit in the wrist; probably by +a bullet meant for the men at the guns, for the Arabs were firing +high. They had captured a horse and had found quaint weapons on the +bodies of the dead Arabs and an interesting kind of tobacco. It was +evening now and they talked over the fight, made jokes about their +luckier shots, smoked their new tobacco and sang; altogether it was +the jolliest evening they'd had. But Shard alone on the quarter-deck +paced to and fro pondering, brooding and wondering. He had chopped off +Bad Jack's wounded hand and given him a hook out of store, for captain +does doctor upon these occasions and Shard, who was ready for most +things, kept half a dozen or so of neat new limbs, and of course a +chopper. Bad Jack had gone below swearing a little and said he'd lie +down for a bit, the men were smoking and singing on the sand, and +Shard was there alone. The thought that troubled Shard was: what would +the Arabs do? They did not look like men to go away for nothing. And +at back of all his thoughts was one that reiterated guns, guns, guns. +He argued with himself that they could not drag them all that way on +the sand, that the Desperate Lark was not worth it, that they had +given it up. Yet he knew in his heart that that was what they would +do. He knew there were fortified towns in Africa, and as for its being +worth it, he knew that there was no pleasant thing left now to those +defeated men except revenge, and if the Desperate Lark had come over +the sand why not guns? He knew that the ship could never hold out +against guns and cavalry, a week perhaps, two weeks, even three: what +difference did it make how long it was, and the men sang: + + Away we go, Oho, Oho, Oho, + A drop of rum for you and me + And the world's as round as the letter O + And round it runs the sea. + +A melancholy settled down on Shard. + +About sunset Lieutenant Smerdrak came up for orders. Shard ordered a +trench to be dug along the port side of the ship. The men wanted to +sing and grumbled at having to dig, especially as Shard never +mentioned his fear of guns, but he fingered his pistols and in the end +Shard had his way. No one on board could shoot like Captain Shard. +That is often the way with captains of pirate ships, it is a difficult +position to hold. Discipline is essential to those that have the right +to fly the skull-and-cross-bones, and Shard was the man to enforce it. +It was starlight by the time the trench was dug to the captain's +satisfaction and the men that it was to protect when the worst came to +the worst swore all the time as they dug. And when it was finished +they clamoured to make a feast on some of the killed oxen, and this +Shard let them do. And they lit a huge fire for the first time, +burning abundant scrub, they thinking that Arabs daren't return, Shard +knowing that concealment was now useless. All that night they feasted +and sang, and Shard sat up in his chart-room making his plans. + +When morning came they rigged up the cutter as they called the +captured horse and told off her crew. As there were only two men that +could ride at all these became the crew of the cutter. Spanish Dick +and Bill the Boatswain were the two. + +Shard's orders were that turn and turn about they should take command +of the cutter and cruise about five miles off to the North East all +the day but at night they were to come in. And they fitted the horse +up with a flagstaff in front of the saddle so that they could signal +from her, and carried an anchor behind for fear she should run away. + +And as soon as Spanish Dick had ridden off Shard sent some men to roll +all the barrels back from the depot where they were buried in the +sand, with orders to watch the cutter all the time and, if she +signalled, to return as fast as they could. + +They buried the Arabs that day, removing their water-bottles and any +provisions they had, and that night they got all the water-barrels in, +and for days nothing happened. One event of extraordinary importance +did indeed occur, the wind got up one day, but it was due South, and +as the oasis lay to the North of them and beyond that they might pick +up the camel track Shard decided to stay where he was. If it had +looked to him like lasting Shard might have hoisted sail but it it +dropped at evening as he knew it would, and in any case it was not the +wind he wanted. And more days went by, two weeks without a breeze. The +dead oxen would not keep and they had had to kill three more, there +were only seven left now. + +Never before had the men been so long without rum. And Captain Shard +had doubled the watch besides making two more men sleep at the guns. +They had tired of their simple games, and most of their songs, and +their tales that were never true were no longer new. And then one day +the monotony of the desert came down upon them. + +There is a fascination in the Sahara, a day there is delightful, a +week is pleasant, a fortnight is a matter of opinion, but it was +running into months. The men were perfectly polite but the boatswain +wanted to know when Shard thought of moving on. It was an unreasonable +question to ask of the captain of any ship in a dead calm in a desert, +but Shard said he would set a course and let him know in a day or two. +And a day or two went by over the monotony of the Sahara, who for +monotony is unequalled by all the parts of the earth. Great marshes +cannot equal it, nor plains of grass nor the sea, the Sahara alone +lies unaltered by the seasons, she has no altering surface, no flowers +to fade or grow, year in year out she is changeless for hundreds and +hundreds of miles. And the boatswain came again and took off his cap +and asked Captain Shard to be so kind as to tell them about his new +course. Shard said he meant to stay until they had eaten three more of +the oxen as they could only take three of them in the hold, there were +only six left now. But what if there was no wind, the boatswain said. +And at that moment the faintest breeze from the North ruffled the +boatswain's forelock as he stood with his cap in his hand. + +"Don't talk about the wind to _me_," said Captain Shard: and Bill was +a little frightened for Shard's mother had been a gipsy. + +But it was only a breeze astray, a trick of the Sahara. And another +week went by and they ate two more oxen. + +They obeyed Captain Shard ostentatiously now but they wore ominous +looks. Bill came again and Shard answered him in Romany. + +Things were like this one hot Sahara morning when the cutter +signalled. The lookout man told Shard and Shard read the message, +"Cavalry astern" it read, and then a little later she signalled, "With +guns." + +"Ah," said Captain Shard. + +One ray of hope Shard had; the flags on the cutter fluttered. For the +first time for five weeks a light breeze blew from the North, very +light, you hardly felt it. Spanish Dick rode in and anchored his horse +to starboard and the cavalry came on slowly from the port. + +Not till the afternoon did they come in sight, and all the while that +little breeze was blowing. + +"One knot," said Shard at noon. "Two knots," he said at six bells and +still it grew and the Arabs trotted nearer. By five o'clock the merry +men of the bad ship Desperate Lark could make out twelve long +old-fashioned guns on low wheeled carts dragged by horses and what +looked like lighter guns carried on camels. The wind was blowing a +little stronger now. "Shall we hoist sail, sir?" said Bill. + +"Not yet," said Shard. + +By six o'clock the Arabs were just outside the range of cannon and +there they halted. Then followed an anxious hour or so, but the Arabs +came no nearer. They evidently meant to wait till dark to bring their +guns up. Probably they intended to dig a gun epaulment from which they +could safely pound away at the ship. + +"We could do three knots," said Shard half to himself as he was +walking up and down his quarter-deck with very fast short paces. And +then the sun set and they heard the Arabs praying and Shard's merry +men cursed at the top of their voices to show that they were as good +men as they. + +The Arabs had come no nearer, waiting for night. They did not know how +Shard was longing for it too, he was gritting his teeth and sighing +for it, he even would have prayed, but that he feared that it might +remind Heaven of him and his merry men. + +Night came and the stars. "Hoist sail," said Shard. The men sprang to +their places, they had had enough of that silent lonely spot. They +took the oxen on board and let the great sails down, and like a lover +coming from over sea, long dreamed of, long expected, like a lost +friend seen again after many years, the North wind came into the +pirates' sails. And before Shard could stop it a ringing English cheer +went away to the wondering Arabs. + +They started off at three knots and soon they might have done four but +Shard would not risk it at night. All night the wind held good, and +doing three knots from ten to four they were far out of sight of the +Arabs when daylight came. And then Shard hoisted more sail and they +did four knots and by eight bells they were doing four and a half. The +spirits of those volatile men rose high, and discipline became +perfect. So long as there was wind in the sails and water in the tanks +Captain Shard felt safe at least from mutiny. Great men can only be +overthrown while their fortunes are at their lowest. Having failed to +depose Shard when his plans were open to criticism and he himself +scarce knew what to do next it was hardly likely they could do it now; +and whatever we think of his past and his way of living we cannot deny +that Shard was among the great men of the world. + +Of defeat by the Arabs he did not feel so sure. It was useless to try +to cover his tracks even if he had had time, the Arab cavalry could +have picked them up anywhere. And he was afraid of their camels with +those light guns on board, he had heard they could do seven knots and +keep it up most of the day and if as much as one shot struck the +mainmast... and Shard taking his mind off useless fears worked out on +his chart when the Arabs were likely to overtake them. He told his men +that the wind would hold good for a week, and, gipsy or no, he +certainly knew as much about the wind as is good for a sailor to know. + +Alone in his chart-room he worked it out like this, mark two hours to +the good for surprise and finding the tracks and delay in starting, +say three hours if the guns were mounted in their epaulments, then the +Arabs should start at seven. Supposing the camels go twelve hours a +day at seven knots they would do eighty-four knots a day, while Shard +doing three knots from ten to four, and four knots the rest of the +time, was doing ninety and actually gaining. But when it came to it he +wouldn't risk more than two knots at night while the enemy were out of +sight, for he rightly regarded anything more than that as dangerous +when sailing on land at night, so he too did eighty-four knots a day. +It was a pretty race. I have not troubled to see if Shard added up his +figures wrongly or if he under-rated the pace of camels, but whatever +it was the Arabs gained slightly, for on the fourth day Spanish Jack, +five knots astern on what they called the cutter, sighted the camels a +very long way off and signalled the fact to Shard. They had left their +cavalry behind as Shard supposed they would. The wind held good, they +had still two oxen left and could always eat their "cutter", and they +had a fair, though not ample, supply of water, but the appearance of +the Arabs was a blow to Shard for it showed him that there was no +getting away from them, and of all things he dreaded guns. He made +light of it to the men: said they would sink the lot before they had +been in action half an hour: yet he feared that once the guns came up +it was only a question of time before his rigging was cut or his +steering gear disabled. + +One point the Desperate Lark scored over the Arabs and a very good one +too, darkness fell just before they could have sighted her and now +Shard used the lantern ahead as he dared not do on the first night +when the Arabs were close, and with the help of it managed to do three +knots. The Arabs encamped in the evening and the Desperate Lark gained +twenty knots. But the next evening they appeared again and this time +they saw the sails of the Desperate Lark. + +On the sixth day they were close. On the seventh they were closer. And +then, a line of verdure across their bows, Shard saw the Niger River. + +Whether he knew that for a thousand miles it rolled its course through +forest, whether he even knew that it was there at all; what his plans +were, or whether he lived from day to day like a man whose days are +numbered he never told his men. Nor can I get an indication on this +point from the talk that I hear from sailors in their cups in a +certain tavern I know of. His face was expressionless, his mouth shut, +and he held his ship to her course. That evening they were up to the +edge of the tree trunks and the Arabs camped and waited ten knots +astern and the wind had sunk a little. + +There Shard anchored a little before sunset and landed at once. At +first he explored the forest a little on foot. Then he sent for +Spanish Dick. They had slung the cutter on board some days ago when +they found she could not keep up. Shard could not ride but he sent for +Spanish Dick and told him he must take him as a passenger. So Spanish +Dick slung him in front of the saddle "before the mast" as Shard +called it, for they still carried a mast on the front of the saddle, +and away they galloped together. "Rough weather," said Shard, but he +surveyed the forest as he went and the long and short of it was he +found a place where the forest was less than half a mile thick and the +Desperate Lark might get through: but twenty trees must be cut. Shard +marked the trees himself, sent Spanish Dick right back to watch the +Arabs and turned the whole of his crew on to those twenty trees. It +was a frightful risk, the Desperate Lark was empty, with an enemy no +more than ten knots astern, but it was a moment for bold measures and +Shard took the chance of being left without his ship in the heart of +Africa in the hope of being repaid by escaping altogether. + +The men worked all night on those twenty trees, those that had no axes +bored with bradawls and blasted, and then relieved those that had. + +Shard was indefatigable, he went from tree to tree showing exactly +what way every one was to fall, and what was to be done with them when +they were down. Some had to be cut down because their branches would +get in the way of the masts, others because their trunks would be in +the way of the wheels; in the case of the last the stumps had to be +made smooth and low with saws and perhaps a bit of the trunk sawn off +and rolled away. This was the hardest work they had. And they were all +large trees, on the other hand had they been small there would have +been many more of them and they could not have sailed in and out, +sometimes for hundreds of yards, without cutting any at all: and all +this Shard calculated on doing if only there was time. + +The light before dawn came and it looked as if they would never do it +at all. And then dawn came and it was all done but one tree, the hard +part of the work had all been done in the night and a sort of final +rush cleared everything up except that one huge tree. And then the +cutter signalled the Arabs were moving. At dawn they had prayed, and +now they had struck their camp. Shard at once ordered all his men to +the ship except ten whom he left at the tree, they had some way to go +and the Arabs had been moving some ten minutes before they got there. +Shard took in the cutter which wasted five minutes, hoisted sail +short-handed and that took five minutes more, and slowly got under +way. + +The wind was dropping still and by the time the Desperate Lark had +come to the edge of that part of the forest through which Shard had +laid his course the Arabs were no more than five knots away. He had +sailed East half a mile, which he ought to have done overnight so as +to be ready, but he could not spare time or thought or men away from +those twenty trees. Then Shard turned into the forest and the Arabs +were dead astern. They hurried when they saw the Desperate Lark enter +the forest. + +"Doing ten knots," said Shard as he watched them from the deck. The +Desperate Lark was doing no more than a knot and a half for the wind +was weak under the lee of the trees. Yet all went well for a while. +The big tree had just come down some way ahead, and the ten men were +sawing bits off the trunk. + +And then Shard saw a branch that he had not marked on the chart, it +would just catch the top of the mainmast. He anchored at once and sent +a hand aloft who sawed it half way through and did the rest with a +pistol, and now the Arabs were only three knots astern. For a quarter +of a mile Shard steered them through the forest till they came to the +ten men and that bad big tree, another foot had yet to come off one +corner of the stump for the wheels had to pass over it. Shard turned +all hands on to the stump and it was then that the Arabs came within +shot. But they had to unpack their gun. And before they had it mounted +Shard was away. If they had charged things might have been different. +When they saw the Desperate Lark under way again the Arabs came on to +within three hundred yards and there they mounted two guns. Shard +watched them along his stern gun but would not fire. They were six +hundred yards away before the Arabs could fire and then they fired too +soon and both guns missed. And Shard and his merry men saw clear water +only ten fathoms ahead. Then Shard loaded his stern gun with canister +instead of shot and at the same moment the Arabs charged on their +camels; they came galloping down through the forest waving long +lances. Shard left the steering to Smerdrak and stood by the stern +gun, the Arabs were within fifty yards and still Shard did not fire; +he had most of his men in the stern with muskets beside him. Those +lances carried on camels were altogether different from swords in the +hands of horsemen, they could reach the men on deck. The men could see +the horrible barbs on the lanceheads, they were almost at their faces +when Shard fired, and at the same moment the Desperate Lark with her +dry and suncracked keel in air on the high bank of the Niger fell +forward like a diver. The gun went off through the tree-tops, a wave +came over the bows and swept the stern, the Desperate Lark wriggled +and righted herself, she was back in her element. + +The merry men looked at the wet decks and at their dripping +clothes. "Water," they said almost wonderingly. + +The Arabs followed a little way through the forest but when they saw +that they had to face a broadside instead of one stern gun and +perceived that a ship afloat is less vulnerable to cavalry even than +when on shore, they abandoned ideas of revenge, and comforted +themselves with a text out of their sacred book which tells how in +other days and other places our enemies shall suffer even as we +desire. + +For a thousand miles with the flow of the Niger and the help of +occasional winds, the Desperate Lark moved seawards. At first he +sweeps East a little and then Southwards, till you come to Akassa and +the open sea. + +I will not tell you how they caught fish and ducks, raided a village +here and there and at last came to Akassa, for I have said much +already of Captain Shard. Imagine them drawing nearer and nearer the +sea, bad men all, and yet with a feeling for something where we feel +for our king, our country or our home, a feeling for something that +burned in them not less ardently than our feelings in us, and that +something the sea. Imagine them nearing it till sea birds appeared and +they fancied they felt sea breezes and all sang songs again that they +had not sung for weeks. Imagine them heaving at last on the salt +Atlantic again. + +I have said much already of Captain Shard and I fear lest I shall +weary you, O my reader, if I tell you any more of so bad a man. I too +at the top of a tower all alone am weary. + +And yet it is right that such a tale should be told. A journey almost +due South from near Algiers to Akassa in a ship that we should call no +more than a yacht. Let it be a stimulus to younger men. + + + Guarantee To The Reader + +Since writing down for your benefit, O my reader, all this long tale +that I heard in the tavern by the sea I have travelled in Algeria and +Tunisia as well as in the Desert. Much that I saw in those countries +seems to throw doubt on the tale that the sailor told me. To begin +with the Desert does not come within hundreds of miles of the coast +and there are more mountains to cross than you would suppose, the +Atlas mountains in particular. It is just possible Shard might have +got through by El Cantara, following the camel road which is many +centuries old; or he may have gone by Algiers and Bou Saada and +through the mountain pass El Finita Dem, though that is a bad enough +way for camels to go (let alone bullocks with a ship) for which reason +the Arabs call it Finita Dem--the Path of Blood. + +I should not have ventured to give this story the publicity of print +had the sailor been sober when he told it, for fear that he I should +have deceived you, O my reader; but this was never the case with him +as I took good care to ensure: "in vino veritas" is a sound old +proverb, and I never had cause to doubt his word unless that proverb +lies. + +If it should prove that he has deceived me, let it pass; but if he has +been the means of deceiving you there are little things about him that +I know, the common gossip of that ancient tavern whose leaded +bottle-glass windows watch the sea, which I will tell at once to every +judge of my acquaintance, and it will be a pretty race to see which of +them will hang him. + +Meanwhile, O my reader, believe the story, resting assured that if you +are taken in the thing shall be a matter for the hangman. + + + + + +A Tale of the Equator + +He who is Sultan so remote to the East that his dominions were deemed +fabulous in Babylon, whose name is a by-word for distance today in the +streets of Bagdad, whose capital bearded travellers invoke by name in +the gate at evening to gather hearers to their tales when the smoke of +tobacco arises, dice rattle and taverns shine; even he in that very +city made mandate, and said: "Let there be brought hither all my +learned men that they may come before me and rejoice my heart with +learning." + +Men ran and clarions sounded, and it was so that there came before the +Sultan all of his learned men. And many were found wanting. But of +those that were able to say acceptable things, ever after to be named +The Fortunate, one said that to the South of the Earth lay a Land-- +said Land was crowned with lotus--where it was summer in our winter +days and where it was winter in summer. + +And when the Sultan of those most distant lands knew that the Creator +of All had contrived a device so vastly to his delight his merriment +knew no bounds. On a sudden he spake and said, and this was the gist +of his saying, that upon that line of boundary or limit that divided +the North from the South a palace be made, where in the Northern +courts should summer be, while in the South was winter; so should he +move from court to court according to his mood, and dally with the +summer in the morning and spend the noon with snow. So the Sultan's +poets were sent for and bade to tell of that city, foreseeing its +splendour far away to the South and in the future of time; and some +were found fortunate. And of those that were found fortunate and were +crowned with flowers none earned more easily the Sultan's smile (on +which long days depended) than he that foreseeing the city spake of it +thus: + +"In seven years and seven days, O Prop of Heaven, shall thy builders +build it, thy palace that is neither North nor South, where neither +summer nor winter is sole lord of the hours. White I see it, very +vast, as a city, very fair, as a woman, Earth's wonder, with many +windows, with thy princesses peering out at twilight; yea, I behold +the bliss of the gold balconies, and hear a rustling down long +galleries and the doves' coo upon its sculptured eaves. O Prop of +Heaven, would that so fair a city were built by thine ancient sires, +the children of the sun, that so might all men see it even today, and +not the poets only, whose vision sees it so far away to the South and +in the future of time. + +"O King of the Years, it shall stand midmost on that line that +divideth equally the North from the South and that parteth the seasons +asunder as with a screen. On the Northern side when summer is in the +North thy silken guards shall pace by dazzling walls while thy +spearsmen clad in furs go round the South. But at the hour of noon in +the midmost day of the year thy chamberlain shall go down from his +high place and into the midmost court, and men with trumpets shall go +down behind him, and he shall utter a great cry at noon, and the men +with trumpets shall cause their trumpets to blare, and the spearsmen +clad in furs shall march to the North and thy silken guard shall take +their place in the South, and summer shall leave the North and go to +the South, and all the swallows shall rise and follow after. And alone +in thine inner courts shall no change be, for they shall lie narrowly +along that line that parteth the seasons in sunder and divideth the +North from the South, and thy long gardens shall lie under them. + +"And in thy gardens shall spring always be, for spring lies ever at +the marge of summer; and autumn also shall always tint thy gardens, +for autumn always flares at winter's edge, and those gardens shall lie +apart between winter and summer. And there shall be orchards in thy +garden, too, with all the burden of autumn on their boughs and all the +blossom of spring. + +"Yea, I behold this palace, for we see future things; I see its white +wall shine in the huge glare of midsummer, and the lizards lying along +it motionless in the sun, and men asleep in the noonday, and the +butterflies floating by, and birds of radiant plumage chasing +marvellous moths; far off the forest and great orchids glorying there, +and iridescent insects dancing round in the light. I see the wall upon +the other side; the snow has come upon the battlements, the icicles +have fringed them like frozen beards, a wild wind blowing out of +lonely places and crying to the cold fields as it blows has sent the +snowdrifts higher than the buttresses; they that look out through +windows on that side of thy palace see the wild geese flying low and +all the birds of the winter, going by swift in packs beat low by the +bitter wind, and the clouds above them are black, for it is midwinter +there; while in thine other courts the fountains tinkle, falling on +marble warmed by the fire of the summer sun. + +"Such, O King of the Years, shall thy palace be, and its name shall be +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder; and thy wisdom shall bid thine +architects build at once, that all may see what as yet the poets see +only, and that prophecy be fulfilled." + +And when the poet ceased the Sultan spake, and said, as all men +hearkened with bent heads: + +"It will be unnecessary for my builders to build this palace, +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder, for in hearing thee we have drunk +already its pleasures." + +And the poet went forth from the Presence and dreamed a new thing. + + . . . . . + + + + + +A Narrow Escape + +It was underground. + +In that dank cavern down below Belgrave Square the walls were +dripping. But what was that to the magician? It was secrecy that he +needed, not dryness. There he pondered upon the trend of events, +shaped destinies and concocted magical brews. + +For the last few years the serenity of his ponderings had been +disturbed by the noise of the motor-bus; while to his keen ears there +came the earthquake-rumble, far off, of the train in the tube, going +down Sloane Street; and when he heard of the world above his head was +not to its credit. + +He decided one evening over his evil pipe, down there in his dank +chamber, that London had lived long enough, had abused its +opportunities, had gone too far, in fine, with its civilisation. And +so he decided to wreck it. + +Therefore he beckoned up his acolyte from the weedy end of the cavern, +and, "Bring me," he said, "the heart of the toad that dwelleth in +Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." The acolyte slipped away by +the hidden door, leaving that grim old man with his frightful pipe, +and whither he went who knows but the gipsy people, or by what path he +returned; but within a year he stood in the cavern again, slipping +secretly in by the trap while the old man smoked, and he brought with +him a little fleshy thing that rotted in a casket of pure gold. + +"What is it?" the old man croaked. + +"It is," said the acolyte, "the heart of the toad that dwelt once +in Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." + +The old man's crooked fingers closed on it, and he blessed the acolyte +with his rasping voice and claw-like hand uplifted; the motor-bus +rumbled above on its endless journey; far off the train shook Sloane +Street. + +"Come," said the old magician, "it is time." And there and then they +left the weedy cavern, the acolyte carrying cauldron, gold poker and +all things needful, and went abroad in the light. And very wonderful +the old man looked in his silks. + +Their goal was the outskirts of London; the old man strode in front +and the acolyte ran behind him, and there was something magical in the +old man's stride alone, without his wonderful dress, the cauldron and +wand, the hurrying acolyte and the small gold poker. + +Little boys jeered till they caught the old man's eye. So there went +on through London this strange procession of two, too swift for any to +follow. Things seemed worse up there than they did in the cavern, and +the further they got on their way towards London's outskirts the worse +London got. "It is time," said the old man, "surely." + +And so they came at last to London's edge and a small hill watching it +with a mournful look. It was so mean that the acolyte longed for the +cavern, dank though it was and full of terrible sayings that the old +man said when he slept. + +They climbed the hill and put the cauldron down, and put there in the +necessary things, and lit a fire of herbs that no chemist will sell +nor decent gardener grow, and stirred the cauldron with the golden +poker. The magician retired a little apart and muttered, then he +strode back to the cauldron and, all being ready, suddenly opened the +casket and let the fleshy thing fall in to boil. + +Then he made spells, then he flung up his arms; the fumes from the +cauldron entering in at his mind he said raging things that he had not +known before and runes that were dreadful (the acolyte screamed); +there he cursed London from fog to loam-pit, from zenith to the abyss, +motor-bus, factory, shop, parliament, people. "Let them all perish," +he said, "and London pass away, tram lines and bricks and pavement, +the usurpers too long of the fields, let them all pass away and the +wild hares come back, blackberry and briar-rose." + +"Let it pass," he said, "pass now, pass utterly." + +In the momentary silence the old man coughed, then waited with eager +eyes; and the long long hum of London hummed as it always has since +first the reed-huts were set up by the river, changing its note at +times but always humming, louder now than it was in years gone by, but +humming night and day though its voice be cracked with age; so it +hummed on. + +And the old man turned him round to his trembling acolyte and terribly +said as he sank into the earth: "YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT ME THE HEART +OF THE TOAD THAT DWELLETH IN ARABIA NOR BY THE MOUNTAINS OF BETHANY!" + + + + + +The Watch-tower + +I sat one April in Provence on a small hill above an ancient town +that Goth and Vandal as yet have forborne to "bring up to date." + +On the hill was an old worn castle with a watch-tower, and a well with +narrow steps and water in it still. + +The watch-tower, staring South with neglected windows, faced a broad +valley full of the pleasant twilight and the hum of evening things: it +saw the fires of wanderers blink from the hills, beyond them the long +forest black with pines, one star appearing, and darkness settling +slowly down on Var. + +Sitting there listening to the green frogs croaking, hearing far +voices clearly but all transmuted by evening, watching the windows in +the little town glimmering one by one, and seeing the gloaming dwindle +solemnly into night, a great many things fell from mind that seem +important by day, and evening in their place planted strange fancies. + +Little winds had arisen and were whispering to and fro, it grew cold, +and I was about to descend the hill, when I heard a voice behind me +saying, "Beware, beware." + +So much the voice appeared a part of the evening that I did not turn +round at first; it was like voices that one hears in sleep and thinks +to be of one's dream. And the word was monotonously repeated, in +French. + +When I turned round I saw an old man with a horn. He had a white beard +marvellously long, and still went on saying slowly, "Beware, beware." +He had clearly just come from the tower by which he stood, though I +had heard no footfall. Had a man come stealthily upon me at such an +hour and in so lonesome a place I had certainly felt surprised; but I +saw almost at once that he was a spirit, and he seemed with his +uncouth horn and his long white beard and that noiseless step of his +to be so native to that time and place that I spoke to him as one does +to some fellow-traveller who asks you if you mind having the window +up. + +I asked him what there was to beware of. + +"Of what should a town beware," he said, "but the Saracens?" + +"Saracens?" I said. + +"Yes, Saracens, Saracens," he answered and brandished his horn. + +"And who are you?" I said. + +"I, I am the spirit of the tower," he said. + +When I asked him how he came by so human an aspect and was so unlike +the material tower beside him he told me that the lives of all the +watchers who had ever held the horn in the tower there had gone to +make the spirit of the tower. "It takes a hundred lives," he said. +"None hold the horn of late and men neglect the tower. When the walls +are in ill repair the Saracens come: it was ever so." + +"The Saracens don't come nowadays," I said. + +But he was gazing past me watching, and did not seem to heed me. + +"They will run down those hills," he said, pointing away to the South, +"out of the woods about nightfall, and I shall blow my horn. The +people will all come up from the town to the tower again; but the +loopholes are in very ill repair." + +"We never hear of the Saracens now," I said. + +"Hear of the Saracens!" the old spirit said. "Hear of the Saracens! +They slip one evening out of that forest, in the long white robes that +they wear, and I blow my horn. That is the first that anyone ever +hears of the Saracens." + +"I mean," I said, "that they never come at all. They cannot come and +men fear other things." For I thought the old spirit might rest if he +knew that the Saracens can never come again. But he said, "There is +nothing in the world to fear but the Saracens. Nothing else matters. +How can men fear other things?" + +Then I explained, so that he might have rest, and told him how all +Europe, and in particular France, had terrible engines of war, both on +land and sea; and how the Saracens had not these terrible engines +either on sea or land, and so could by no means cross the +Mediterranean or escape destruction on shore even though they should +come there. I alluded to the European railways that could move armies +night and day faster than horses could gallop. And when as well as I +could I had explained all, he answered, "In time all these things pass +away and then there will still be the Saracens." + +And then I said, "There has not been a Saracen either in France +or Spain for over four hundred years." + +And he said, "The Saracens! You do not know their cunning. That was +ever the way of the Saracens. They do not come for a while, no not +they, for a long while, and then one day they come." + +And peering southwards, but not seeing clearly because of the rising +mist, he silently moved to his tower and up its broken steps. + + + + + +How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire + +In a thatched cottage of enormous size, so vast that we might consider +it a palace, but only a cottage in the style of its building, its +timbers and the nature of its interior, there lived Plash-Goo. + +Plash-Goo was of the children of the giants, whose sire was Uph. And +the lineage of Uph had dwindled in bulk for the last five hundred +years, till the giants were now no more than fifteen foot high; but +Uph ate elephants which he caught with his hands. + +Now on the tops of the mountains above the house of Plash-Goo, for +Plash-Goo lived in the plains, there dwelt the dwarf whose name was +Lrippity-Kang. And the dwarf used to walk at evening on the edge of +the tops of the mountains, and would walk up and down along it, and +was squat and ugly and hairy, and was plainly seen of Plash-Goo. + +And for many weeks the giant had suffered the sight of him, but at +length grew irked at the sight (as men are by little things), and +could not sleep of a night and lost his taste for pigs. And at last +there came the day, as anyone might have known, when Plash-Goo +shouldered his club and went up to look for the dwarf. + +And the dwarf though briefly squat was broader than may be dreamed, +beyond all breadth of man, and stronger than men may know; strength in +its very essence dwelt in that little frame, as a spark in the heart +of a flint: but to Plash-Goo he was no more than mis-shapen, bearded +and squat, a thing that dared to defy all natural laws by being more +broad than long. + +When Plash-Goo came to the mountain he cast his chimahalk down (for so +he named the club of his heart's desire) lest the dwarf should defy +him with nimbleness; and stepped towards Lrippity-Kang with gripping +hands, who stopped in his mountainous walk without a word, and swung +round his hideous breadth to confront Plash-Goo. Already then +Plash-Goo in the deeps of his mind had seen himself seize the dwarf in +one large hand and hurl him with his beard and his hated breadth sheer +down the precipice that dropped away from that very place to the land +of None's Desire. Yet it was otherwise that Fate would have it. For +the dwarf parried with his little arms the grip of those monstrous +hands, and gradually working along the enormous limbs came at length +to the giant's body where by dwarfish cunning he obtained a grip; and +turning Plash-Goo about, as a spider does some great fly, till his +little grip was suitable to his purpose, he suddenly lifted the giant +over his head. Slowly at first, by the edge of that precipice whose +base sheer distance hid, he swung his giant victim round his head, but +soon faster and faster; and at last when Plash-Goo was streaming round +the hated breadth of the dwarf and the no less hated beard was +flapping in the wind, Lrippity-Kang let go. Plash-Goo shot over the +edge and for some way further, out towards Space, like a stone; then +he began to fall. It was long before he believed and truly knew that +this was really he that fell from this mountain, for we do not +associate such dooms with ourselves; but when he had fallen for some +while through the evening and saw below him, where there had been +nothing to see, or began to see, the glimmer of tiny fields, then his +optimism departed; till later on when the fields were greener and +larger he saw that this was indeed (and growing now terribly nearer) +that very land to which he had destined the dwarf. + +At last he saw it unmistakable, close, with its grim houses and its +dreadful ways, and its green fields shining in the light of the +evening. His cloak was streaming from him in whistling shreds. + +So Plash-Goo came to the Land of None's Desire. + + + + + +The Three Sailors' Gambit + +Sitting some years ago in the ancient tavern at Over, one afternoon in +Spring, I was waiting, as was my custom, for something strange to +happen. In this I was not always disappointed for the very curious +leaded panes of that tavern, facing the sea, let a light into the +low-ceilinged room so mysterious, particularly at evening, that it +somehow seemed to affect the events within. Be that as it may, I have +seen strange things in that tavern and heard stranger things told. + +And as I sat there three sailors entered the tavern, just back, as +they said, from sea, and come with sunburned skins from a very long +voyage to the South; and one of them had a board and chessmen under +his arm, and they were complaining that they could find no one who +knew how to play chess. This was the year that the Tournament was in +England. And a little dark man at a table in a corner of the room, +drinking sugar and water, asked them why they wished to play chess; +and they said they would play any man for a pound. They opened their +box of chessmen then, a cheap and nasty set, and the man refused to +play with such uncouth pieces, and the sailors suggested that perhaps +he could find better ones; and in the end he went round to his +lodgings near by and brought his own, and then they sat down to play +for a pound a side. It was a consultation game on the part of the +sailors, they said that all three must play. + +Well, the little dark man turned out to be Stavlokratz. + +Of course he was fabulously poor, and the sovereign meant more to him +than it did to the sailors, but he didn't seem keen to play, it was +the sailors that insisted; he had made the badness of the sailors' +chessmen an excuse for not playing at all, but the sailors had +overruled that, and then he told them straight out who he was, and the +sailors had never heard of Stavlokratz. + +Well, no more was said after that. Stavlokratz said no more, either +because he did not wish to boast or because he was huffed that they +did not know who he was. And I saw no reason to enlighten the sailors +about him; if he took their pound they had brought it upon themselves, +and my boundless admiration for his genius made me feel that he +deserved whatever might come his way. He had not asked to play, they +had named the stakes, he had warned them, and gave them the first +move; there was nothing unfair about Stavlokratz. + +I had never seen Stavlokratz before, but I had played over nearly +every one of his games in the World Championship for the last three or +four years; he was always of course the model chosen by students. Only +young chess-players can appreciate my delight at seeing him play first +hand. + +Well, the sailors used to lower their heads almost as low as the table +and mutter together before every move, but they muttered so low that +you could not hear what they planned. + +They lost three pawns almost straight off, then a knight, and shortly +after a bishop; they were playing in fact the famous Three Sailors' +Gambit. + +Stavlokratz was playing with the easy confidence that they say was +usual with him, when suddenly at about the thirteenth move I saw him +look surprised; he leaned forward and looked at the board and then at +the sailors, but he learned nothing from their vacant faces; he looked +back at the board again. + +He moved more deliberately after that; the sailors lost two more +pawns, Stavlokratz had lost nothing as yet. He looked at me I thought +almost irritably, as though something would happen that he wished I +was not there to see. I believed at first that he had qualms about +taking the sailors' pound, until it dawned on me that he might lose +the game; I saw that possibility in his face, not on the board, for +the game had become almost incomprehensible to me. I cannot describe +my astonishment. And a few moves later Stavlokratz resigned. + +The sailors showed no more elation than if they had won some game with +greasy cards, playing amongst themselves. + +Stavlokratz asked them where they got their opening. "We kind of +thought of it," said one. "It just come into our heads like," said +another. He asked them questions about the ports they had touched at. +He evidently thought as I did myself that they had learned their +extraordinary gambit, perhaps in some old dependancy of Spain, from +some young master of chess whose fame had not reached Europe. He was +very eager to find out who this man could be, for neither of us +imagined that those sailors had invented it, nor would anyone who had +seen them. But he got no information from the sailors. + +Stavlokratz could very ill afford the loss of a pound. He offered to +play them again for the same stakes. The sailors began to set up the +white pieces. Stavlokratz pointed out that it was his turn for the +first move. The sailors agreed but continued to set up the white +pieces and sat with the white before them waiting for him to move. It +was a trivial incident, but it revealed to Stavlokratz and myself that +none of these sailors was aware that white always moves first. + +Stavlokratz played them on his own opening, reasoning of course that +as they had never heard of Stavlokratz they would not know of his +opening; and with probably a very good hope of getting back his pound +he played the fifth variation with its tricky seventh move, at least +so he intended, but it turned to a variation unknown to the students +of Stavlokratz. + +Throughout this game I watched the sailors closely, and I became sure, +as only an attentive watcher can be, that the one on their left, Jim +Bunion, did not even know the moves. + +When I had made up my mind about this I watched only the other two, +Adam Bailey and Bill Sloggs, trying to make out which was the master +mind; and for a long while I could not. And then I heard Adam Bailey +mutter six words, the only words I heard throughout the game, of all +their consultations, "No, him with the horse's head." And I decided +that Adam Bailey did not know what a knight was, though of course he +might have been explaining things to Bill Sloggs, but it did not sound +like that; so that left Bill Sloggs. I watched Bill Sloggs after that +with a certain wonder; he was no more intellectual than the others to +look at, though rather more forceful perhaps. Poor old Stavlokratz was +beaten again. + +Well, in the end I paid for Stavlokratz, and tried to get a game with +Bill Sloggs alone, but this he would not agree to, it must be all +three or none: and then I went back with Stavlokratz to his lodgings. +He very kindly gave me a game: of course it did not last long but I am +prouder of having been beaten by Stavlokratz than of any game that I +have ever won. And then we talked for an hour about the sailors, and +neither of us could make head or tail of them. I told him what I had +noticed about Jim Bunion and Adam Bailey, and he agreed with me that +Bill Sloggs was the man, though as to how he had come by that gambit +or that variation of Stavlokratz's own opening he had no theory. + +I had the sailors' address which was that tavern as much as anywhere, +and they were to be there all evening. As evening drew in I went back +to the tavern, and found there still the three sailors. And I offered +Bill Sloggs two pounds for a game with him alone and he refused, but +in the end he played me for a drink. And then I found that he had not +heard of the "en passant" rule, and believed that the fact of checking +the king prevented him from castling, and did not know that a player +can have two or more queens on the board at the same time if he queens +his pawns, or that a pawn could ever become a knight; and he made as +many of the stock mistakes as he had time for in a short game, which I +won. I thought that I should have got at the secret then, but his +mates who had sat scowling all the while in the corner came up and +interfered. It was a breach of their compact apparently for one to +play by himself, at any rate they seemed angry. So I left the tavern +then and came back again next day, and the next day and the day after, +and often saw the sailors, but none were in a communicative mood. I +had got Stavlokratz to keep away, and they could get no one to play +chess with at a pound a side, and I would not play with them unless +they told me the secret. + +And then one evening I found Jim Bunion drunk, yet not so drunk as he +wished, for the two pounds were spent; and I gave him very nearly a +tumbler of whiskey, or what passed for whiskey in that tavern at Over, +and he told me the secret at once. I had given the others some whiskey +to keep them quiet, and later on in the evening they must have gone +out, but Jim Bunion stayed with me by a little table leaning across it +and talking low, right into my face, his breath smelling all the while +of what passed for whiskey. + +The wind was blowing outside as it does on bad nights in November, +coming up with moans from the South, towards which the tavern faced +with all its leaded panes, so that none but I was able to hear his +voice as Jim Bunion gave up his secret. They had sailed for years, he +told me, with Bill Snyth; and on their last voyage home Bill Snyth had +died. And he was buried at sea. Just the other side of the line they +buried him, and his pals divided his kit, and these three got his +crystal that only they knew he had, which Bill got one night in Cuba. +They played chess with the crystal. + +And he was going on to tell me about that night in Cuba when Bill had +bought the crystal from the stranger, how some folks might think they +had seen thunderstorms, but let them go and listen to that one that +thundered in Cuba when Bill was buying his crystal and they'd find +that they didn't know what thunder was. But then I interrupted him, +unfortunately perhaps, for it broke the thread of his tale and set him +rambling a while, and cursing other people and talking of other lands, +China, Port Said and Spain: but I brought him back to Cuba again in +the end. I asked him how they could play chess with a crystal; and he +said that you looked at the board and looked at the crystal, and there +was the game in the crystal the same as it was on the board, with all +the odd little pieces looking just the same though smaller, horses' +heads and whatnots; and as soon as the other man moved the move came +out in the crystal, and then your move appeared after it, and all you +had to do was to make it on the board. If you didn't make the move +that you saw in the crystal things got very bad in it, everything +horribly mixed and moving about rapidly, and scowling and making the +same move over and over again, and the crystal getting cloudier and +cloudier; it was best to take one's eyes away from it then, or one +dreamt about it afterwards, and the foul little pieces came and cursed +you in your sleep and moved about all night with their crooked moves. + +I thought then that, drunk though he was, he was not telling the +truth, and I promised to show him to people who played chess all their +lives so that he and his mates could get a pound whenever they liked, +and I promised not to reveal his secret even to Stavlokratz, if only +he would tell me all the truth; and this promise I have kept till long +after the three sailors have lost their secret. I told him straight +out that I did not believe in the crystal. Well, Jim Bunion leaned +forward then, even further across the table, and swore he had seen the +man from whom Bill had bought the crystal and that he was one to whom +anything was possible. To begin with his hair was villainously dark, +and his features were unmistakable even down there in the South, and +he could play chess with his eyes shut, and even then he could beat +anyone in Cuba. But there was more than this, there was the bargain he +made with Bill that told one who he was. He sold that crystal for Bill +Snyth's soul. + +Jim Bunion leaning over the table with his breath in my face nodded +his head several times and was silent. + +I began to question him then. Did they play chess as far away as Cuba? +He said they all did. Was it conceivable that any man would make such +a bargain as Snyth made? Wasn't the trick well known? Wasn't it in +hundreds of books? And if he couldn't read books mustn't he have heard +from sailors that it is the Devil's commonest dodge to get souls from +silly people? + +Jim Bunion had leant back in his own chair quietly smiling at my +questions but when I mentioned silly people he leaned forward again, +and thrust his face close to mine and asked me several times if I +called Bill Snyth silly. It seemed that these three sailors thought a +great deal of Bill Snyth and it made Jim Bunion angry to hear anything +said against him. I hastened to say that the bargain seemed silly +though not of course the man who made it; for the sailor was almost +threatening, and no wonder for the whiskey in that dim tavern would +madden a nun. + +When I said that the bargain seemed silly he smiled again, and then he +thundered his fist down on the table and said that no one had ever yet +got the best of Bill Snyth and that that was the worst bargain for +himself that the Devil ever made, and that from all he had read or +heard of the Devil he had never been so badly had before as the night +when he met Bill Snyth at the inn in the thunderstorm in Cuba, for +Bill Snyth already had the damndest soul at sea; Bill was a good +fellow, but his soul was damned right enough, so he got the crystal +for nothing. + +Yes, he was there and saw it all himself, Bill Snyth in the Spanish +inn and the candles flaring, and the Devil walking in and out of the +rain, and then the bargain between those two old hands, and the Devil +going out into the lightning, and the thunderstorm raging on, and Bill +Snyth sitting chuckling to himself between the bursts of the thunder. + +But I had more questions to ask and interrupted this reminiscence. Why +did they all three always play together? And a look of something like +fear came over Jim Bunion's face; and at first he would not speak. And +then he said to me that it was like this; they had not paid for that +crystal, but got it as their share of Bill Snyth's kit. If they had +paid for it or given something in exchange to Bill Snyth that would +have been all right, but they couldn't do that now because Bill was +dead, and they were not sure if the old bargain might not hold good. +And Hell must be a large and lonely place, and to go there alone must +be bad, and so the three agreed that they would all stick together, +and use the crystal all three or not at all, unless one died, and then +the two would use it and the one that was gone would wait for them. +And the last of the three to go would take the crystal with him, or +maybe the crystal would bring him. They didn't think, they said, they +were the kind of men for Heaven, and he hoped they knew their place +better than that, but they didn't fancy the notion of Hell alone, if +Hell it had to be. It was all right for Bill Snyth, he was afraid of +nothing. He had known perhaps five men that were not afraid of death, +but Bill Snyth was not afraid of Hell. He died with a smile on his +face like a child in its sleep; it was drink killed poor Bill Snyth. + +This was why I had beaten Bill Sloggs; Sloggs had the crystal on him +while we played, but would not use it; these sailors seemed to fear +loneliness as some people fear being hurt; he was the only one of the +three who could play chess at all, he had learnt it in order to be +able to answer questions and keep up their pretence, but he had learnt +it badly, as I found. I never saw the crystal, they never showed it to +anyone; but Jim Bunion told me that night that it was about the size +that the thick end of a hen's egg would be if it were round. And then +he fell asleep. + +There were many more questions that I would have asked him but I could +not wake him up. I even pulled the table away so that he fell to the +floor, but he slept on, and all the tavern was dark but for one candle +burning; and it was then that I noticed for the first time that the +other two sailors had gone, no one remained at all but Jim Bunion and +I and the sinister barman of that curious inn, and he too was asleep. + +When I saw that it was impossible to wake the sailor I went out into +the night. Next day Jim Bunion would talk of it no more; and when I +went back to Stavlokratz I found him already putting on paper his +theory about the sailors, which became accepted by chess-players, that +one of them had been taught their curious gambit and that the other +two between them had learnt all the defensive openings as well as +general play. Though who taught them no one could say, in spite of +enquiries made afterwards all along the Southern Pacific. + +I never learnt any more details from any of the three sailors, they +were always too drunk to speak or else not drunk enough to be +communicative. I seem just to have taken Jim Bunion at the flood. But +I kept my promise, it was I that introduced them to the Tournament, +and a pretty mess they made of established reputations. And so they +kept on for months, never losing a game and always playing for their +pound a side. I used to follow them wherever they went merely to watch +their play. They were more marvellous than Stavlokratz even in his +youth. + +But then they took to liberties such as giving their queen when +playing first-class players. And in the end one day when all three +were drunk they played the best player in England with only a row of +pawns. They won the game all right. But the ball broke to pieces. I +never smelt such a stench in all my life. + +The three sailors took it stoically enough, they signed on to +different ships and went back again to the sea, and the world of chess +lost sight, for ever I trust, of the most remarkable players it ever +knew, who would have altogether spoiled the game. + + + + + +The Exiles Club + +It was an evening party; and something someone had said to me had +started me talking about a subject that to me is full of fascination, +the subject of old religions, forsaken gods. The truth (for all +religions have some of it), the wisdom, the beauty, of the religions +of countries to which I travel have not the same appeal for me; for +one only notices in them their tyranny and intolerance and the abject +servitude that they claim from thought; but when a dynasty has been +dethroned in heaven and goes forgotten and outcast even among men, +one's eyes no longer dazzled by its power find something very wistful +in the faces of fallen gods suppliant to be remembered, something +almost tearfully beautiful, like a long warm summer twilight fading +gently away after some day memorable in the story of earthly wars. +Between what Zeus, for instance, has been once and the half-remembered +tale he is today there lies a space so great that there is no change +of fortune known to man whereby we may measure the height down which +he has fallen. And it is the same with many another god at whom once +the ages trembled and the twentieth century treats as an old wives' +tale. The fortitude that such a fall demands is surely more than +human. + +Some such things as these I was saying, and being upon a subject that +much attracts me I possibly spoke too loudly, certainly I was not +aware that standing close behind me was no less a person than the +ex-King of Eritivaria, the thirty islands of the East, or I would have +moderated my voice and moved away a little to give him more room. I +was not aware of his presence until his satellite, one who had fallen +with him into exile but still revolved about him, told me that his +master desired to know me; and so to my surprise I was presented +though neither of them even knew my name. And that was how I came to +be invited by the ex-King to dine at his club. + +At the time I could only account for his wishing to know me by +supposing that he found in his own exiled condition some likeness to +the fallen fortunes of the gods of whom I talked unwitting of his +presence; but now I know that it was not of himself he was thinking +when he asked me to dine at that club. + +The club would have been the most imposing building in any street in +London, but in that obscure mean quarter of London in which they had +built it it appeared unduly enormous. Lifting right up above those +grotesque houses and built in that Greek style that we call Georgian, +there was something Olympian about it. To my host an unfashionable +street could have meant nothing, through all his youth wherever he had +gone had become fashionable the moment he went there; words like the +East End could have had no meaning to him. + +Whoever built that house had enormous wealth and cared nothing for +fashion, perhaps despised it. As I stood gazing at the magnificent +upper windows draped with great curtains, indistinct in the evening, +on which huge shadows flickered my host attracted my attention from +the doorway, and so I went in and met for the second time the ex-King +of Eritivaria. + +In front of us a stairway of rare marble led upwards, he took me +through a side-door and downstairs and we came to a banqueting-hall of +great magnificence. A long table ran up the middle of it, laid for +quite twenty people, and I noticed the peculiarity that instead of +chairs there were thrones for everyone except me, who was the only +guest and for whom there was an ordinary chair. My host explained to +me when we all sat down that everyone who belonged to that club was by +rights a king. + +In fact none was permitted, he told me, to belong to the club until +his claim to a kingdom made out in writing had been examined and +allowed by those whose duty it was. The whim of a populace or the +candidate's own misrule were never considered by the investigators, +nothing counted with them but heredity and lawful descent from kings, +all else was ignored. At that table there were those who had once +reigned themselves, others lawfully claimed descent from kings that +the world had forgotten, the kingdoms claimed by some had even changed +their names. Hatzgurh, the mountain kingdom, is almost regarded as +mythical. + +I have seldom seen greater splendour than that long hall provided +below the level of the street. No doubt by day it was a little sombre, +as all basements are, but at night with its great crystal chandeliers, +and the glitter of heirlooms that had gone into exile, it surpassed +the splendour of palaces that have only one king. They had come to +London suddenly most of those kings, or their fathers before them, or +forefathers; some had come away from their kingdoms by night, in a +light sleigh, flogging the horses, or had galloped clear with morning +over the border, some had trudged roads for days from their capital in +disguise, yet many had had time just as they left to snatch up some +small thing without price in markets, for the sake of old times as +they said, but quite as much, I thought, with an eye to the future. +And there these treasures glittered on that long table in the +banqueting-hall of the basement of that strange club. Merely to see +them was much, but to hear their story that their owners told was to +go back in fancy to epic times on the romantic border of fable and +fact, where the heroes of history fought with the gods of myth. The +famous silver horses of Gilgianza were there climbing their sheer +mountain, which they did by miraculous means before the time of the +Goths. It was not a large piece of silver but its workmanship +outrivalled the skill of the bees. + +A yellow Emperor had brought out of the East a piece of that +incomparable porcelain that had made his dynasty famous though all +their deeds are forgotten, it had the exact shade of the right purple. + +And there was a little golden statuette of a dragon stealing a diamond +from a lady, the dragon had the diamond in his claws, large and of the +first water. There had been a kingdom whose whole constitution and +history were founded on the legend, from which alone its kings had +claimed their right to the scepter, that a dragon stole a diamond from +a lady. When its last king left that country, because his favorite +general used a peculiar formation under the fire of artillery, he +brought with him the little ancient image that no longer proved him a +king outside that singular club. + +There was the pair of amethyst cups of the turbaned King of Foo, the +one that he drank from himself, and the one that he gave to his +enemies, eye could not tell which was which. + +All these things the ex-King of Eritivaria showed me, telling me a +marvelous tale of each; of his own he had brought nothing, except the +mascot that used once to sit on the top of the water tube of his +favorite motor. + +I have not outlined a tenth of the splendour of that table, I had +meant to come again and examine each piece of plate and make notes of +its history; had I known that this was the last time I should wish to +enter that club I should have looked at its treasures more +attentively, but now as the wine went round and the exiles began to +talk I took my eyes from the table and listened to strange tales of +their former state. + +He that has seen better times has usually a poor tale to tell, some +mean and trivial thing has been his undoing, but they that dined in +that basement had mostly fallen like oaks on nights of abnormal +tempest, had fallen mightily and shaken a nation. Those who had not +been kings themselves, but claimed through an exiled ancestor, had +stories to tell of even grander disaster, history seeming to have +mellowed their dynasty's fate as moss grows over an oak a great while +fallen. There were no jealousies there as so often there are among +kings, rivalry must have ceased with the loss of their navies and +armies, and they showed no bitterness against those that had turned +them out, one speaking of the error of his Prime Minister by which he +had lost his throne as "poor old Friedrich's Heaven-sent gift of +tactlessness." + +They gossiped pleasantly of many things, the tittle-tattle we all had +to know when we were learning history, and many a wonderful story I +might have heard, many a side light on mysterious wars had I not made +use of one unfortunate word. That word was "upstairs." + +The ex-King of Eritivaria having pointed out to me those unparalleled +heirlooms to which I have alluded, and many more besides, hospitably +asked me if there was anything else that I would care to see, he meant +the pieces of plate that they had in the cupboards, the curiously +graven swords of other princes, historic jewels, legendary seals, but +I who had had a glimpse of their marvelous staircase, whose balustrade +I believed to be solid gold and wondering why in such a stately house +they chose to dine in the basement, mentioned the word "upstairs." A +profound hush came down on the whole assembly, the hush that might +greet levity in a cathedral. + +"Upstairs!" he gasped. "We cannot go upstairs." + +I perceived that what I had said was an ill-chosen thing. I tried to +excuse myself but knew not how. + +"Of course," I muttered, "members may not take guests upstairs." + +"Members!" he said to me. "We are not the members!" + +There was such reproof in his voice that I said no more, I looked at +him questioningly, perhaps my lips moved, I may have said "What are +you?" A great surprise had come on me at their attitude. + +"We are the waiters," he said. + +That I could not have known, here at last was honest ignorance that I +had no need to be ashamed of, the very opulence of their table denied +it. + +"Then who are the members?" I asked. + +Such a hush fell at that question, such a hush of genuine awe, that +all of a sudden a wild thought entered my head, a thought strange and +fantastic and terrible. I gripped my host by the wrist and hushed my +voice. + +"Are they too exiles?" I asked. + +Twice as he looked in my face he gravely nodded his head. + +I left that club very swiftly indeed, never to see it again, scarcely +pausing to say farewell to those menial kings, and as I left the door +a great window opened far up at the top of the house and a flash of +lightning streamed from it and killed a dog. + + + + + +The Three Infernal Jokes + +This is the story that the desolate man told to me on the lonely +Highland road one autumn evening with winter coming on and the stags +roaring. + +The saddening twilight, the mountain already black, the dreadful +melancholy of the stags' voices, his friendless mournful face, all +seemed to be of some most sorrowful play staged in that valley by an +outcast god, a lonely play of which the hills were part and he the +only actor. + +For long we watched each other drawing out of the solitudes of those +forsaken spaces. Then when we met he spoke. + +"I will tell you a thing that will make you die of laughter. I will +keep it to myself no longer. But first I must tell you how I came by +it." + +I do not give the story in his words with all his woeful interjections +and the misery of his frantic self-reproaches for I would not convey +unnecessarily to my readers that atmosphere of sadness that was about +all he said and that seemed to go with him where-ever he moved. + +It seems that he had been a member of a club, a West-end club he +called it, a respectable but quite inferior affair, probably in the +City: agents belonged to it, fire insurance mostly, but life insurance +and motor-agents too, it was in fact a touts' club. It seems that a +few of them one evening, forgetting for a moment their encyclopedias +and non-stop tyres, were talking loudly over a card-table when the +game had ended about their personal virtues, and a very little man +with waxed moustaches who disliked the taste of wine was boasting +heartily of his temperance. It was then that he who told this mournful +story, drawn on by the boasts of others, leaned forward a little over +the green baize into the light of the two guttering candles and +revealed, no doubt a little shyly, his own extraordinary virtue. One +woman was to him as ugly as another. + +And the silenced boasters rose and went home to bed leaving him all +alone, as he supposed, with his unequalled virtue. And yet he was not +alone, for when the rest had gone there arose a member out of a deep +arm-chair at the dark end of the room and walked across to him, a man +whose occupation he did not know and only now suspects. + +"You have," said the stranger, "a surpassing virtue." + +"I have no possible use for it," my poor friend replied. + +"Then doubtless you would sell it cheap," said the stranger. + +Something in the man's manner or appearance made the desolate teller +of this mournful tale feel his own inferiority, which probably made +him feel acutely shy, so that his mind abased itself as an Oriental +does his body in the presence of a superior, or perhaps he was sleepy, +or merely a little drunk. Whatever it was he only mumbled, "O yes," +instead of contradicting so mad a remark. And the stranger led the way +to the room where the telephone was. + +"I think you will find my firm will give a good price for it," he +said: and without more ado he began with a pair of pincers to cut the +wire of the telephone and the receiver. The old waiter who looked +after the club they had left shuffling round the other room putting +things away for the night. + +"Whatever are you doing of?" said my friend. + +"This way," said the stranger. Along a passage they went and away to +the back of the club and there the stranger leaned out of a window and +fastened the severed wires to the lightning conductor. My friend has +no doubt of that, a broad ribbon of copper, half an inch wide, perhaps +wider, running down from the roof to the earth. + +"Hell," said the stranger with his mouth to the telephone; then +silence for a while with his ear to the receiver, leaning out of the +window. And then my friend heard his poor virtue being several times +repeated, and then words like Yes and No. + +"They offer you three jokes," said the stranger, "which shall make all +who hear them simply die of laughter." + +I think my friend was reluctant then to have anything more to do with +it, he wanted to go home; he said he didn't want jokes. + +"They think very highly of your virtue," I said the stranger. And at +that, odd as it seems, my friend wavered, for logically if they +thought highly of the goods they should have paid a higher price. + +"O all right," he said. The extraordinary document that the agent drew +from his pocket ran something like this: + +"I . . . . . in consideration of three new jokes received from Mr. +Montagu-Montague, hereinafter to be called the agent, and warranted to +be as by him stated and described, do assign to him, yield, abrogate +and give up all recognitions, emoluments, perquisites or rewards due +to me Here or Elsewhere on account of the following virtue, to wit and +that is to say . . . . . that all women are to me equally ugly." The +last eight words being filled in in ink by Mr. Montagu-Montague. + +My poor friend duly signed it. "These are the jokes," said the agent. +They were boldly written on three slips of paper. "They don't seem +very funny," said the other when he had read them. "You are immune," +said Mr. Montagu-Montague, "but anyone else who hears them will simply +die of laughter: that we guarantee." + +An American firm had bought at the price of waste paper a hundred +thousand copies of The Dictionary of Electricity written when +electricity was new,--and it had turned out that even at the time its +author had not rightly grasped his subject,--the firm had paid +£10,000 to a respectable English paper (no other in fact than +the Briton) for the use of its name, and to obtain orders for The +Briton Dictionary of Electricity was the occupation of my unfortunate +friend. He seems to have had a way with him. Apparently he knew by a +glance at a man, or a look round at his garden, whether to recommend +the book as "an absolutely up-to-date achievement, the finest thing of +its kind in the world of modern science" or as "at once quaint and +imperfect, a thing to buy and to keep as a tribute to those dear old +times that are gone." So he went on with this quaint though usual +business, putting aside the memory of that night as an occasion on +which he had "somewhat exceeded" as they say in circles where a spade +is called neither a spade nor an agricultural implement but is never +mentioned at all, being altogether too vulgar. And then one night he +put on his suit of dress clothes and found the three jokes in the +pocket. That was perhaps a shock. He seems to have thought it over +carefully then, and the end of it was he gave a dinner at the club to +twenty of the members. The dinner would do no harm he thought--might +even help the business, and if the joke came off he would be a witty +fellow, and two jokes still up his sleeve. + +Whom he invited or how the dinner went I do not know for he began to +speak rapidly and came straight to the point, as a stick that nears a +cataract suddenly goes faster and faster. The dinner was duly served, +the port went round, the twenty men were smoking, two waiters +loitered, when he after carefully reading the best of the jokes told +it down the table. They laughed. One man accidentally inhaled his +cigar smoke and spluttered, the two waiters overheard and tittered +behind their hands, one man, a bit of a raconteur himself, quite +clearly wished not to laugh, but his veins swelled dangerously in +trying to keep it back, and in the end he laughed too. The joke had +succeeded; my friend smiled at the thought; he wished to say little +deprecating things to the man on his right; but the laughter did not +stop and the waiters would not be silent. He waited, and waited +wondering; the laughter went roaring on, distinctly louder now, and +the waiters as loud as any. It had gone on for three or four minutes +when this frightful thought leaped up all at once in his mind: _it was +forced laughter!_ However could anything have induced him to tell so +foolish a joke? He saw its absurdity as in revelation; and the more he +thought of it as these people laughed at him, even the waiters too, +the more he felt that he could never lift up his head with his brother +touts again. And still the laughter went roaring and choking on. He +was very angry. There was not much use in having a friend, he thought, +if one silly joke could not be overlooked; he had fed them too. And +then he felt that he had no friends at all, and his anger faded away, +and a great unhappiness came down on him, and he got quietly up and +slunk from the room and slipped away from the club. Poor man, he +scarcely had the heart next morning even to glance at the papers, but +you did not need to glance at them, big type was bandied about that +day as though it were common type, the words of the headlines stared +at you; and the headlines said:--Twenty-Two Dead Men at a Club. + +Yes, he saw it then: the laughter had not stopped, some had probably +burst blood vessels, some must have choked, some succumbed to nausea, +heart-failure must have mercifully taken some, and they were his +friends after all, and none had escaped, not I even the waiters. It +was that infernal joke. + +He thought out swiftly, and remembers clear as a nightmare, the drive +to Victoria Station, the boat-train to Dover and going disguised to +the boat: and on the boat pleasantly smiling, almost obsequious, two +constables that wished to speak for a moment with Mr. Watkyn-Jones. +That was his name. + +In a third-class carriage with handcuffs on his wrists, with forced +conversation when any, he returned between his captors to Victoria to +be tried for murder at the High Court of Bow. + +At the trial he was defended by a young barrister of considerable +ability who had gone into the Cabinet in order to enhance his forensic +reputation. And he was ably defended. It is no exaggeration to say +that the speech for the defence showed it to be usual, even natural +and right, to give a dinner to twenty men and to slip away without +ever saying a word, leaving all, with the waiters, dead. That was the +impression left in the minds of the jury. And Mr. Watkyn-Jones felt +himself practically free, with all the advantages of his awful +experience, and his two jokes intact. But lawyers are still +experimenting with the new act which allows a prisoner to give +evidence. They do not like to make no use of it for fear they may be +thought not to know of the act, and a lawyer who is not in touch with +the very latest laws is soon regarded as not being up to date and he +may drop as much as £50,000 a year in fees. And therefore though +it always hangs their clients they hardly like to neglect it. + +Mr. Watkyn-Jones was put in the witness box. There he told the simple +truth, and a very poor affair it seemed after the impassioned and +beautiful things that were uttered by the counsel for the defence. Men +and women had wept when they heard that. They did not weep when they +heard Watkyn-Jones. Some tittered. It no longer seemed a right and +natural thing to leave one's guests all dead and to fly the country. +Where was Justice, they asked, if anyone could do that? And when his +story was told the judge rather happily asked if he could make him die +of laughter too. And what was the joke? For in so grave a place as a +Court of Justice no fatal effects need be feared. And hesitatingly the +prisoner pulled from his pocket the three slips of paper: and +perceived for the first time that the one on which the first and best +joke had been written had become quite blank. Yet he could remember +it, and only too clearly. And he told it from memory to the Court. + +"An Irishman once on being asked by his master to buy a morning paper +said in his usual witty way, 'Arrah and begorrah and I will be after +wishing you the top of the morning.'" + +No joke sounds quite so good the second time it is told, it seems to +lose something of its essence, but Watkyn-Jones was not prepared for +the awful stillness with which this one was received; nobody smiled; +and it had killed twenty-two men. The joke was bad, devilish bad; +counsel for the defence was frowning, and an usher was looking in a +little bag for something the judge wanted. And at this moment, as +though from far away, without his wishing it, there entered the +prisoner's head, and shone there and would not go, this old bad +proverb: "As well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb." The jury seemed +to be just about to retire. "I have another joke," said Watkyn-Jones, +and then and there he read from the second slip of paper. He watched +the paper curiously to see if it would go blank, occupying his mind +with so slight a thing as men in dire distress very often do, and the +words were almost immediately expunged, swept swiftly as if by a hand, +and he saw the paper before him as blank as the first. And they were +laughing this time, judge, jury, counsel for the prosecution, audience +and all, and the grim men that watched him upon either side. There was +no mistake about this joke. + +He did not stay to see the end, and walked out with his eyes fixed on +the ground, unable to bear a glance to the right or left. And since +then he has wandered, avoiding ports and roaming lonely places. Two +years have known him on the Highland roads, often hungry, always +friendless, always changing his district, wandering lonely on with his +deadly joke. + +Sometimes for a moment he will enter inns, driven by cold and hunger, +and hear men in the evening telling jokes and even challenging him; +but he sits desolate and silent, lest his only weapon should escape +from him and his last joke spread mourning in a hundred cots. His +beard has grown and turned grey and is mixed with moss and weeds, so +that no one, I think, not even the police, would recognise him now for +that dapper tout that sold The Briton Dictionary of Electricity in +such a different land. + +He paused, his story told, and then his lip quivered as though he +would say more, and I believe he intended then and there to yield up +his deadly joke on that Highland road and to go forth then with his +three blank slips of paper, perhaps to a felon's cell, with one more +murder added to his crimes, but harmless at last to man. I therefore +hurried on, and only heard him mumbling sadly behind me, standing +bowed and broken, all alone in the twilight, perhaps telling over and +over even then the last infernal joke. + + + THE END + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Tales of Wonder, by Lord Dunsany + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF WONDER *** + +***** This file should be named 13821-8.txt or 13821-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.net/1/3/8/2/13821/ + +Produced by Tom Harris + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + http://www.gutenberg.net + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. diff --git a/old/old/20041021-13821-8.zip b/old/old/20041021-13821-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..963d5b3 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/old/20041021-13821-8.zip diff --git a/old/old/20041021-13821.txt b/old/old/20041021-13821.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..50b1545 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/old/20041021-13821.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4334 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Tales of Wonder, by Lord Dunsany + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net + + +Title: Tales of Wonder + +Author: Lord Dunsany + +Release Date: October 21, 2004 [EBook #13821] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF WONDER *** + + + + +Produced by Tom Harris + + + + + +TALES OF WONDER + +by Lord Dunsany + + + + + +Preface + + Ebrington Barracks + + Aug. 16th 1916. + +I do not know where I may be when this preface is read. As I write it +in August 1916, I am at Ebrington Barracks, Londonderry, recovering +from a slight wound. But it does not greatly matter where I am; my +dreams are here before you amongst the following pages; and writing in +a day when life is cheap, dreams seem to me all the dearer, the only +things that survive. + +Just now the civilization of Europe seems almost to have ceased, and +nothing seems to grow in her torn fields but death, yet this is only +for a while and dreams will come back again and bloom as of old, all +the more radiantly for this terrible ploughing, as the flowers will +bloom again where the trenches are and the primroses shelter in +shell-holes for many seasons, when weeping Liberty has come home to +Flanders. + +To some of you in America this may seem an unnecessary and wasteful +quarrel, as other people's quarrels often are; but it comes to this +that though we are all killed there will be songs again, but if we +were to submit and so survive there could be neither songs nor dreams, +nor any joyous free things any more. + +And do not regret the lives that are wasted amongst us, or the work +that the dead would have done, for war is no accident that man's care +could have averted, but is as natural, though not as regular, as the +tides; as well regret the things that the tide has washed away, which +destroys and cleanses and crumbles, and spares the minutest shells. + +And now I will write nothing further about our war, but offer you +these books of dreams from Europe as one throws things of value, if +only to oneself, at the last moment out of a burning house. + + DUNSANY. + + + + + +A Tale of London + +"Come," said the Sultan to his hasheesh-eater in the very furthest +lands that know Bagdad, "dream to me now of London." + +And the hasheesh-eater made a low obeisance and seated himself +cross-legged upon a purple cushion broidered with golden poppies, on +the floor, beside an ivory bowl where the hasheesh was, and having +eaten liberally of the hasheesh blinked seven times and spoke thus: + +"O Friend of God, know then that London is the desiderate town even of +all Earth's cities. Its houses are of ebony and cedar which they roof +with thin copper plates that the hand of Time turns green. They have +golden balconies in which amethysts are where they sit and watch the +sunset. Musicians in the gloaming steal softly along the ways; unheard +their feet fall on the white sea-sand with which those ways are +strewn, and in the darkness suddenly they play on dulcimers and +instruments with strings. Then are there murmurs in the balconies +praising their skill, then are there bracelets cast down to them for +reward and golden necklaces and even pearls. + +"Indeed but the city is fair; there is by the sandy ways a paving all +alabaster, and the lanterns along it are of chrysoprase, all night +long they shine green, but of amethyst are the lanterns of the +balconies. + +"As the musicians go along the ways dancers gather about them and +dance upon the alabaster pavings, for joy and not for hire. Sometimes +a window opens far up in an ebony palace and a wreath is cast down to +a dancer or orchids showered upon them. + +"Indeed of many cities have I dreamt but of none fairer, through many +marble metropolitan gates hasheesh has led me, but London is its +secret, the last gate of all; the ivory bowl has nothing more to show. +And indeed even now the imps that crawl behind me and that will not +let me be are plucking me by the elbow and bidding my spirit return, +for well they know that I have seen too much. 'No, not London,' they +say; and therefore I will speak of some other city, a city of some +less mysterious land, and anger not the imps with forbidden things. I +will speak of Persepolis or famous Thebes." + +A shade of annoyance crossed the Sultan's face, a look of thunder that +you had scarcely seen, but in those lands they watched his visage +well, and though his spirit was wandering far away and his eyes were +bleared with hasheesh yet that storyteller there and then perceived +the look that was death, and sent his spirit back at once to London as +a man runs into his house when the thunder comes. + +"And therefore," he continued, "in the desiderate city, in London, all +their camels are pure white. Remarkable is the swiftness of their +horses, that draw their chariots that are of ivory along those sandy +ways and that are of surpassing lightness, they have little bells of +silver upon their horses' heads. O Friend of God, if you perceived +their merchants! The glory of their dresses in the noonday! They are +no less gorgeous than those butterflies that float about their +streets. They have overcloaks of green and vestments of azure, huge +purple flowers blaze on their overcloaks, the work of cunning needles, +the centres of the flowers are of gold and the petals of purple. All +their hats are black--" ("No, no," said the Sultan)--"but irises are +set about the brims, and green plumes float above the crowns of them. + +"They have a river that is named the Thames, on it their ships go up +with violet sails bringing incense for the braziers that perfume the +streets, new songs exchanged for gold with alien tribes, raw silver +for the statues of their heroes, gold to make balconies where the +women sit, great sapphires to reward their poets with, the secrets of +old cities and strange lands, the earning of the dwellers in far +isles, emeralds, diamonds, and the hoards of the sea. And whenever a +ship comes into port and furls its violet sails and the news spreads +through London that she has come, then all the merchants go down to +the river to barter, and all day long the chariots whirl through the +streets, and the sound of their going is a mighty roar all day until +evening, their roar is even like--" + +"Not so," said the Sultan. + +"Truth is not hidden from the Friend of God," replied the +hasheesh-eater, "I have erred being drunken with the hasheesh, for in +the desiderate city, even in London, so thick upon the ways is the +white sea-sand with which the city glimmers that no sound comes from +the path of the charioteers, but they go softly like a light +sea-wind." ("It is well," said the Sultan.) "They go softly down to +the port where the vessels are, and the merchandise in from the sea, +amongst the wonders that the sailors show, on land by the high ships, +and softly they go though swiftly at evening back to their homes. + +"O would that the Munificent, the Illustrious, the Friend of God, had +even seen these things, had seen the jewellers with their empty +baskets, bargaining there by the ships, when the barrels of emeralds +came up from the hold. Or would that he had seen the fountains there +in silver basins in the midst of the ways. I have seen small spires +upon their ebony houses and the spires were all of gold, birds +strutted there upon the copper roofs from golden spire to spire that +have no equal for splendour in all the woods of the world. And over +London the desiderate city the sky is so deep a blue that by this +alone the traveller may know where he has come, and may end his +fortunate journey. Nor yet for any colour of the sky is there too +great heat in London, for along its ways a wind blows always from the +South gently and cools the city. + +"Such, O Friend of God, is indeed the city of London, lying very far +off on the yonder side of Bagdad, without a peer for beauty or +excellence of its ways among the towns of the earth or cities of song; +and even so, as I have told, its fortunate citizens dwell, with their +hearts ever devising beautiful things and from the beauty of their own +fair work that is more abundant around them every year, receiving new +inspirations to work things more beautiful yet." + +"And is their government good?" the Sultan said. + +"It is most good," said the hasheesh-eater, and fell backwards upon +the floor. + +He lay thus and was silent. And when the Sultan perceived he would +speak no more that night he smiled and lightly applauded. + +And there was envy in that palace, in lands beyond Bagdad, of all that +dwell in London. + + + + + +Thirteen at Table + +In front of a spacious fireplace of the old kind, when the logs were +well alight, and men with pipes and glasses were gathered before it in +great easeful chairs, and the wild weather outside and the comfort +that was within, and the season of the year--for it was Christmas--and +the hour of the night, all called for the weird or uncanny, then out +spoke the ex-master of foxhounds and told this tale. + +I once had an odd experience too. It was when I had the Bromley and +Sydenham, the year I gave them up--as a matter of fact it was the last +day of the season. It was no use going on because there were no foxes +left in the county, and London was sweeping down on us. You could see +it from the kennels all along the skyline like a terrible army in +grey, and masses of villas every year came skirmishing down our +valleys. Our coverts were mostly on the hills, and as the town came +down upon the valleys the foxes used to leave them and go right away +out of the county and they never returned. I think they went by night +and moved great distances. Well it was early April and we had drawn +blank all day, and at the last draw of all, the very last of the +season, we found a fox. He left the covert with his back to London and +its railways and villas and wire and slipped away towards the chalk +country and open Kent. I felt as I once felt as a child on one +summer's day when I found a door in a garden where I played left +luckily ajar, and I pushed it open and the wide lands were before me +and waving fields of corn. + +We settled down into a steady gallop and the fields began to drift by +under us, and a great wind arose full of fresh breath. We left the +clay lands where the bracken grows and came to a valley at the edge of +the chalk. As we went down into it we saw the fox go up the other side +like a shadow that crosses the evening, and glide into a wood that +stood on the top. We saw a flash of primroses in the wood and we were +out the other side, hounds hunting perfectly and the fox still going +absolutely straight. It began to dawn on me then that we were in for a +great hunt, I took a deep breath when I thought of it; the taste of +the air of that perfect Spring afternoon as it came to one galloping, +and the thought of a great run, were together like some old rare wine. +Our faces now were to another valley, large fields led down to it, +with easy hedges, at the bottom of it a bright blue stream went +singing and a rambling village smoked, the sunlight on the opposite +slopes danced like a fairy; and all along the top old woods were +frowning, but they dreamed of Spring. The "field" had fallen of and +were far behind and my only human companion was James, my old first +whip, who had a hound's instinct, and a personal animosity against a +fox that even embittered his speech. + +Across the valley the fox went as straight as a railway line, and +again we went without a check straight through the woods at the top. I +remember hearing men sing or shout as they walked home from work, and +sometimes children whistled; the sounds came up from the village to +the woods at the top of the valley. After that we saw no more +villages, but valley after valley arose and fell before us as though +we were voyaging some strange and stormy sea, and all the way before +us the fox went dead up-wind like the fabulous Flying Dutchman. There +was no one in sight now but my first whip and me, we had both of us +got on to our second horses as we drew the last covert. + +Two or three times we checked in those great lonely valleys beyond the +village, but I began to have inspirations, I felt a strange certainty +within me that this fox was going on straight up-wind till he died or +until night came and we could hunt no longer, so I reversed ordinary +methods and only cast straight ahead and always we picked up the scent +again at once. I believe that this fox was the last one left in the +villa-haunted lands and that he was prepared to leave them for remote +uplands far from men, that if we had come the following day he would +not have been there, and that we just happened to hit off his journey. + +Evening began to descend upon the valleys, still the hounds drifted +on, like the lazy but unresting shadows of clouds upon a summer's day, +we heard a shepherd calling to his dog, we saw two maidens move +towards a hidden farm, one of them singing softly; no other sounds, +but ours, disturbed the leisure and the loneliness of haunts that +seemed not yet to have known the inventions of steam and gun-powder +(even as China, they say, in some of her further mountains does not +yet know that she has fought Japan). + +And now the day and our horses were wearing out, but that resolute fox +held on. I began to work out the run and to wonder where we were. The +last landmark I had ever seen before must have been over five miles +back and from there to the start was at least ten miles more. If only +we could kill! Then the sun set. I wondered what chance we had of +killing our fox. I looked at James' face as he rode beside me. He did +not seem to have lost any confidence yet his horse was as tired as +mine. It was a good clear twilight and the scent was as strong as +ever, and the fences were easy enough, but those valleys were terribly +trying and they still rolled on and on. It looked as if the light +would outlast all possible endurance both of the fox and the horses, +if the scent held good and he did not go to ground, otherwise night +would end it. For long we had seen no houses and no roads, only chalk +slopes with the twilight on them, and here and there some sheep, and +scattered copses darkening in the evening. At some moment I seemed to +realise all at once that the light was spent and that darkness was +hovering, I looked at James, he was solemnly shaking his head. +Suddenly in a little wooded valley we saw climb over the oaks the +red-brown gables of a queer old house, at that instant I saw the fox +scarcely heading by fifty yards. We blundered through a wood into full +sight of the house, but no avenue led up to it or even a path nor were +there any signs of wheel-marks anywhere. Already lights shone here and +there in windows. We were in a park, and a fine park, but unkempt +beyond credibility; brambles grew everywhere. It was too dark to see +the fox any more but we knew he was dead beat, the hounds were just +before us,--and a four-foot railing of oak. I shouldn't have tried it +on a fresh horse the beginning of a run, and here was a horse near his +last gasp. But what a run! an event standing out in a lifetime, and +the hounds close up on their fox, slipping into the darkness as I +hesitated. I decided to try it. My horse rose about eight inches and +took it fair with his breast, and the oak log flew into handfuls of +wet decay--it rotten with years. And then we were on a lawn and at the +far end of it the hounds were tumbling over their fox. Fox, hounds and +light were all done together at the of a twenty-mile point. We made +some noise then, but nobody came out of the queer old house. + +I felt pretty stiff as I walked round to the hall door with the mask +and the brush while James went with the hounds and the two horses to +look for the stables. I rang a bell marvellously encrusted with rust, +and after a long while the door opened a little way revealing a hall +with much old armour in it and the shabbiest butler that I have ever +known. + +I asked him who lived there. Sir Richard Arlen. I explained that my +horse could go no further that night and that I wished to ask Sir +Richard Arlen for a bed for the night. + +"O, no one ever comes here, sir," said the butler. + +I pointed out that I had come. + +"I don't think it would be possible, sir," he said. + +This annoyed me and I asked to see Sir Richard, and insisted until he +came. Then I apologised and explained the situation. He looked only +fifty, but a 'Varsity oar on the wall with the date of the early +seventies, made him older than that; his face had something of the shy +look of the hermit; he regretted that he had not room to put me up. I +was sure that this was untrue, also I had to be put up there, there +was nowhere else within miles, so I almost insisted. Then to my +astonishment he turned to the butler and they talked it over in an +undertone. At last they seemed to think that they could manage it, +though clearly with reluctance. It was by now seven o' clock and Sir +Richard told me he dined at half past seven. There was no question of +clothes for me other than those I stood in, as my host was shorter and +broader. He showed me presently to the drawing-room and there he +reappeared before half past seven in evening dress and a white +waistcoat. The drawing-room was large and contained old furniture but +it was rather worn than venerable, an Aubusson carpet flapped about +the floor, the wind seemed momently to enter the room, and old +draughts haunted corners; the stealthy feet of rats that were never at +rest indicated the extent of the ruin that time had wrought in the +wainscot; somewhere far off a shutter flapped to and fro, the +guttering candles were insufficient to light so large a room. The +gloom that these things suggested was quite in keeping with Sir +Richard's first remark to me after he entered the room: "I must tell +you, sir, that I have led a wicked life. O, a very wicked life." + +Such confidences from a man much older than oneself after one has +known him for half an hour are so rare that any possible answer merely +does not suggest itself. I said rather slowly, "O, really," and +chiefly to forestall another such remark I said "What a charming house +you have." + +"Yes," he said, "I have not left it for nearly forty years. Since I +left the 'Varsity. One is young there, you know, and one has +opportunities; but I make no excuses, no excuses." And the door +slipping its rusty latch, came drifting on the draught into the room, +and the long carpet flapped and the hangings upon the walls, then the +draught fell rustling away and the door slammed to again. + +"Ah, Marianne," he said, "we have a guest to-night. Mr. Linton. This +is Marianne Gib." And everything became clear to me. "Mad," I said to +myself, for no one had entered the room. + +The rats ran up the length of the room behind the wainscot +ceaselessly, and the wind unlatched the door again and the folds of +the carpet fluttered up to our feet and stopped there, for our weight +held it down. + +"Let me introduce Mr. Linton," said my host--"Lady Mary Errinjer." + +The door slammed back again. I bowed politely. Even had I been invited +I should have humoured him, but it was the very least that an +uninvited guest could do. + +This kind of thing happened eleven times, the rustling, and the +fluttering of the carpet and the footsteps of the rats, and the +restless door, and then the sad voice of my host introducing me to +phantoms. Then for some while we waited while I struggled with the +situation; conversation flowed slowly. And again the draught came +trailing up the room, while the flaring candles filled it with +hurrying shadows. "Ah, late again, Cicely," said my host in his soft, +mournful way. "Always late, Cicely." Then I went down to dinner with +that man and his mind and the twelve phantoms that haunted it. I found +a long table with fine old silver on it and places laid for fourteen. +The butler was now in evening dress, there were fewer draughts in the +dining-room, the scene was less gloomy there. "Will you sit next to +Rosalind at the other end," Richard said to me. "She always takes the +head of the table, I wronged her most of all." I said, "I shall be +delighted." + +I looked at the butler closely, but never did I see by any expression +of his face or by anything that he did any suggestion that he waited +upon less than fourteen people in the complete possession of all their +faculties. Perhaps a dish appeared to be refused more often than taken +but every glass was equally filled with champagne. At first I found +little to say, but when Sir Richard speaking from the far end of the +table said, "You are tired, Mr. Linton," I was reminded that I owed +something to a host upon whom I had forced myself. It was excellent +champagne and with the help of a second glass I made the effort to +begin a conversation with a Miss Helen Errold for whom the place upon +one side of me was laid. It came more easy to me very soon, I +frequently paused in my monologue, like Mark Anthony, for a reply, and +sometimes I turned and spoke to Miss Rosalind Smith. Sir Richard at +the other end talked sorrowfully on, he spoke as a condemned man might +speak to his judge, and yet somewhat as a judge might speak to one +that he once condemned wrongly. My own mind began to turn to mournful +things. I drank another glass of champagne, but I was still thirsty. I +felt as if all the moisture in my body had been blown away over the +downs of Kent by the wind up which we had galloped. Still I was not +talking enough; my host was looking at me. I made another effort, +after all I had something to talk about, a twenty-mile point is not +often seen in a lifetime, especially south of the Thames. I began to +describe the run to Rosalind Smith. I could see then that my host was +pleased, the sad look in his face gave a kind of a flicker, like mist +upon the mountains on a miserable day when a faint puff comes from the +sea and the mist would lift if it could. And the butler refilled my +glass very attentively. I asked her first if she hunted, and paused +and began my story. I told her where we had found the fox and how fast +and straight he had gone, and how I had got through the village by +keeping to the road, while the little gardens and wire, and then the +river, had stopped the rest of the field. I told her the kind of +country that we crossed and how splendid it looked in the Spring, and +how mysterious the valleys were as soon as the twilight came, and what +a glorious horse I had and how wonderfully he went. I was so fearfully +thirsty after the great hunt that I had to stop for a moment now and +then, but I went on with my description of that famous run, for I had +warmed to the subject, and after all there was nobody to tell of it +but me except my old whipper-in, and "the old fellow's probably drunk +by now," I thought. I described to her minutely the exact spot in the +run at which it had come to me clearly that this was going to be the +greatest hunt in the whole history of Kent. Sometimes I forgot +incidents that had happened as one well may in a run of twenty miles, +and then I had to fill in the gaps by inventing. I was pleased to be +able to make the party go off well by means of my conversation, and +besides that the lady to whom I was speaking was extremely pretty: I +do not mean in a flesh and blood kind of way but there were little +shadowy lines about the chair beside me that hinted at an unusually +graceful figure when Miss Rosalind Smith was alive; and I began to +perceive that what I first mistook for the smoke of guttering candles +and a table-cloth waving in the draught was in reality an extremely +animated company who listened, and not without interest, to my story +of by far the greatest hunt that the world had ever known: indeed I +told them that I would confidently go further and predict that never +in the history of the world would there be such a run again. Only my +throat was terribly dry. And then as it seemed they wanted to hear +more about my horse. I had forgotten that I had come there on a horse, +but when they reminded me it all came back; they looked so charming +leaning over the table intent upon what I said, that I told them +everything they wanted to know. Everything was going so pleasantly if +only Sir Richard would cheer up. I heard his mournful voice every now +and then--these were very pleasant people if only he would take them +the right way. I could understand that he regretted his past, but the +early seventies seemed centuries away and I felt sure that he +misunderstood these ladies, they were not revengeful as he seemed to +suppose. I wanted to show him how cheerful they really were, and so I +made a joke and they an laughed at it, and then I chaffed them a bit, +especially Rosalind, and nobody resented it in the very least. And +still Sir Richard sat there with that unhappy look, like one that has +ended weeping because it is vain and has not the consolation even of +tears. + +We had been a long time there and many of the candles had burned out, +but there was light enough. I was glad to have an audience for my +exploit, and being happy myself I was determined Sir Richard should +be. I made more jokes and they still laughed good-naturedly; some of +the jokes were a little broad perhaps but no harm was meant. And +then--I do not wish to excuse myself--but I had had a harder day than +I ever had had before and without knowing it I must have been +completely exhausted; in this state the champagne had found me, and +what would have been harmless at any other time must somehow have got +the better of me when quite tired out--anyhow I went too far, I made +some joke--I cannot in the least remember what--that suddenly seemed +to offend them. I felt all at once a commotion in the air, I looked up +and saw that they had all arisen from the table and were sweeping +towards the door: I had not time to open it but it blew open on a +wind, I could scarcely see what Sir Richard was doing because only two +candles were left, I think the rest blew out when the ladies suddenly +rose. I sprang up to apologise, to assure them--and then fatigue +overcame me as it had overcome my horse at the last fence, I clutched +at the table but the cloth came away and then I fell. The fall, and +the darkness on the floor and the pent up fatigue of the day overcame +me all three together. + +The sun shone over glittering fields and in at a bedroom window and +thousands of birds were chanting to the Spring, and there I was in an +old four-poster bed in a quaint old panelled bedroom, fully dressed +and wearing long muddy boots; someone had taken my spurs and that was +all. For a moment I failed to realise and then it all came back, my +enormity and the pressing need of an abject apology to Sir Richard. I +pulled an embroidered bell rope until the butler came. He came in +perfectly cheerful and indescribably shabby. I asked him if Sir +Richard was up, and he said he had just gone down, and told me to my +amazement that it was twelve o'clock. I asked to be shown in to Sir +Richard at once. He was in his smoking-room. "Good morning," he said +cheerfully the moment I went in. I went directly to the matter in +hand. "I fear that I insulted some ladies in your house--" I began. + +"You did indeed," he said, "You did indeed." And then he burst into +tears and took me by the hand. "How can I ever thank you?" he said to +me then. "We have been thirteen at table for thirty years and I never +dared to insult them because I had wronged them all, and now you have +done it and I know they will never dine here again." And for a long +time he still held my hand, and then he gave it a grip and a kind of a +shake which I took to mean "Goodbye" and I drew my hand away then and +left the house. And I found James in the stables with the hounds and +asked him how he had fared, and James, who is a man of very few words, +said he could not rightly remember, and I got my spurs from the butler +and climbed on to my horse and slowly we rode away from that queer old +house, and slowly we wended home, for the hounds were footsore but +happy and the horses were tired still. And when we recalled that the +hunting season was ended we turned our faces to Spring and thought of +the new things that try to replace the old. And that very year I +heard, and have often heard since, of dances and happier dinners at +Sir Richard Arlen's house. + + + + + +The City on Mallington Moor + +Besides the old shepherd at Lingwold whose habits render him +unreliable I am probably the only person that has ever seen the city +on Mallington Moor. + +I had decided one year to do no London season; partly because of the +ugliness of the things in the shops, partly because of the unresisted +invasions of German bands, partly perhaps because some pet parrots in +the oblong where I lived had learned to imitate cab-whistles; but +chiefly because of late there had seized me in London a quite +unreasonable longing for large woods and waste spaces, while the very +thought of little valleys underneath copses full of bracken and +foxgloves was a torment to me and every summer in London the longing +grew worse till the thing was becoming intolerable. So I took a stick +and a knapsack and began walking northwards, starting at Tetherington +and sleeping at inns, where one could get real salt, and the waiter +spoke English and where one had a name instead of a number; and though +the tablecloth might be dirty the windows opened so that the air was +clean, where one had the excellent company of farmers and men of the +wold, who could not be thoroughly vulgar, because they had not the +money to be so even if they had wished it. At first the novelty was +delightful, and then one day in a queer old inn up Uthering way, +beyond Lingwold, I heard for the first time the rumour of the city +said to be on Mallington Moor. They spoke of it quite casually over +their glasses of beer, two farmers at the inn. "They say the queer +folk be at Mallington with their city," one farmer said. "Travelling +they seem to be," said the other. And more came in then and the rumour +spread. And then, such are the contradictions of our little likes and +dislikes and all the whims that drive us, that I, who had come so far +to avoid cities, had a great longing all of a sudden for throngs again +and the great hives of Man, and then and there determined on that +bright Sunday morning to come to Mallington and there search for the +city that rumour spoke of so strangely. + +Mallington Moor, from all that they said of it, was hardly a likely +place to find a thing by searching. It was a huge high moor, very +bleak and desolate and altogether trackless. It seemed a lonely place +from what they said. The Normans when they came had called it Mal Lieu +and afterwards Mallintown and so it changed to Mallington. Though what +a town can ever have had to do with a place so utterly desolate I do +not know. And before that some say that the Saxons called it Baplas, +which I believe to be a corruption of Bad Place. + +And beyond the mere rumour of a beautiful city all of white marble and +with a foreign look up on Mallington Moor, beyond this I could not +get. None of them had seen it himself, "only heard of it like," and my +questions, rather than stimulating conversation, would always stop it +abruptly. I was no more fortunate on the road to Mallington until the +Tuesday, when I was quite near it; I had been walking two days from +the inn where I had heard the rumour and could see the great hill +steep as a headland on which Mallington lay, standing up on the +skyline: the hill was covered with grass, where anything grew at all, +but Mallington Moor is all heather; it is just marked Moor on the map; +nobody goes there and they do not trouble to name it. It was there +where the gaunt hill first came into sight, by the roadside as I +enquired for the marble city of some labourers by the way, that I was +directed, partly I think in derision, to the old shepherd of Lingwold. +It appeared that he, following sometimes sheep that had strayed, and +wandering far from Lingwold, came sometimes up to the edge of +Mallington Moor, and that he would come back from these excursions and +shout through the villages, raving of a city of white marble and +gold-tipped minarets. And hearing me asking questions of this city +they had laughed and directed me to the shepherd of Lingwold. One +well-meant warning they gave me as I went--the old man was not +reliable. + +And late that evening I saw the thatches of Lingwold sheltering under +the edge of that huge hill that Atlas-like held up those miles of moor +to the great winds and heaven. + +They knew less of the city in Lingwold than elsewhere but they knew +the whereabouts of the man I wanted, though they seemed a little +ashamed of him. There was an inn in Lingwold that gave me shelter, +whence in the morning, equipped with purchases, I set out to find +their shepherd. And there he was on the edge of Mallington Moor +standing motionless, gazing stupidly at his sheep; his hands trembled +continually and his eyes had a blear look, but he was quite sober, +wherein all Lingwold had wronged him. + +And then and there I asked him of the city and he said he had never +heard tell of any such place. And I said, "Come, come, you must pull +yourself together." And he looked angrily at me; but when he saw me +draw from amongst my purchases a full bottle of whiskey and a big +glass he became more friendly. As I poured out the whiskey I asked him +again about the marble city on Mallington Moor but he seemed quite +honestly to know nothing about it. The amount of whiskey he drank was +quite incredible, but I seldom express surprise and once more I asked +him the way to the wonderful city. His hand was steadier now and his +eyes more intelligent and he said that he had heard something of some +such city, but his memory was evidently blurred and he was still +unable to give me useful directions. I consequently gave him another +tumbler, which he drank off like the first without any water, and +almost at once he was a different man. The trembling in his hands +stopped altogether, his eye became as quick as a younger man's, he +answered my questions readily and frankly, and, what was more +important to me still, his old memory became alert and clear for even +minutest details. His gratitude to myself I need not mention, for I +make no pretence that I bought the bottle of whiskey that the old +shepherd enjoyed so much without at least some thought of my own +advantage. Yet it was pleasant to reflect that it was due to me that +he had pulled himself together and steadied his shaking hand and +cleared his mind, recovered his memory and his self-respect. He spoke +to me quite clearly, no longer slurring his words; he had seen the +city first one moonlight night when he was lost in the mist on the big +moor, he had wandered far in the mist, and when it lifted he saw the +city by moonlight. He had no food, but luckily had his flask. There +never was such a city, not even in books. Travellers talked sometimes +of Venice seen from the sea, there might be such a place or there +might not, but, whether or no, it was nothing to the city on +Mallington Moor. Men who read books had talked to him in his time, +hundreds of books, but they never could tell of any city like this. +Why, the place was all of marble, roads, walls and palaces, all pure +white marble, and the tops of the tall thin spires were entirely of +gold. And they were queer folk in the city even for foreigners. And +there were camels, but I cut him short for I thought I could judge for +myself, if there was such a place, and, if not, I was wasting my time +as well as a pint of good whiskey. So I got him to speak of the way, +and after more circumlocution than I needed and more talk of the city +he pointed to a tiny track on the black earth just beside us, a little +twisty way you could hardly see. + +I said the moor was trackless; untrodden of man or dog it certainly +was and seemed to have less to do with the ways of man than any waste +I have seen, but the track the old shepherd showed me, if track it +was, was no more than the track of a hare--an elf-path the old man +called it, Heaven knows what he meant. And then before I left him he +insisted on giving me his flask with the queer strong rum it +contained. Whiskey brings out in some men melancholy, in some +rejoicing, with him it was clearly generosity and he insisted until I +took his rum, though I did not mean to drink it. It was lonely up +there, he said, and bitter cold and the city hard to find, being set +in a hollow, and I should need the rum, and he had never seen the +marble city except on days when he had had his flask: he seemed to +regard that rusted iron flask as a sort of mascot, and in the end I +took it. + +I followed that odd, faint track on the black earth under the heather +till I came to the big grey stone beyond the horizon, where the track +divides into two, and I took the one to the left as the old man told +me. I knew by another stone that I saw far off that I had not lost my +way, nor the old man lied. + +And just as I hoped to see the city's ramparts before the gloaming +fell on that desolate place, I suddenly saw a long high wall of +whiteness with pinnacles here and there thrown up above it, floating +towards me silent and grim as a secret, and knew it for that evil +thing the mist. The sun, though low, was shining on every sprig of +heather, the green and scarlet mosses were shining with it too, it +seemed incredible that in three minutes' time all those colours would +be gone and nothing left all round but a grey darkness. I gave up hope +of finding the city that day, a broader path than mine could have been +quite easily lost. I hastily chose for my bed a thick patch of +heather, wrapped myself in a waterproof cloak, and lay down and made +myself comfortable. And then the mist came. It came like the careful +pulling of lace curtains, then like the drawing of grey blinds; it +shut out the horizon to the north, then to the east and west; it +turned the whole sky white and hid the moor; it came down on it like a +metropolis, only utterly silent, silent and white as tombstones. + +And then I was glad of that strange strong rum, or whatever it was in +the flask that the shepherd gave me, for I did not think that the mist +would clear till night, and I feared the night would be cold. So I +nearly emptied the flask; and, sooner than I expected, I fell asleep, +for the first night out as a rule one does not sleep at once but is +kept awake some while by the little winds and the unfamiliar sound of +the things that wander at night, and that cry to one another far-off +with their queer, faint voices; one misses them afterwards when one +gets to houses again. But I heard none of these sounds in the mist +that evening. + +And then I woke and found that the mist was gone and the sun was just +disappearing under the moor, and I knew that I had not slept for as +long as I thought. And I decided to go on while I could, for I thought +that I was not very far from the city. + +I went on and on along the twisty track, bits of the mist came down +and filled the hollows but lifted again at once so that I saw my way. +The twilight faded as I went, a star appeared, and I was able to see +the track no longer. I could go no further that night, yet before I +lay down to sleep I decided to go and look over the edge of a wide +depression in the moor that I saw a little way off. So I left the +track and walked a few hundred yards, and when I got to the edge the +hollow was full of mist all white underneath me. Another star appeared +and a cold wind arose, and with the wind the mist flapped away like a +curtain. And there was the city. + +Nothing the shepherd had said was the least untrue or even +exaggerated. The poor old man had told the simple truth, there is not +a city like it in the world. What he had called thin spires were +minarets, but the little domes on the top were clearly pure gold as he +said. There were the marble terraces he described and the pure white +palaces covered with carving and hundreds of minarets. The city was +obviously of the East and yet where there should have been crescents +on the domes of the minarets there were golden suns with rays, and +wherever one looked one saw things that obscured its origin. I walked +down to it, and, passing through a wicket gate of gold in a low wall +of white marble, I entered the city. The heather went right up to the +city's edge and beat against the marble wall whenever the wind blew +it. Lights began to twinkle from high windows of blue glass as I +walked up the white street, beautiful copper lanterns were lit up and +let down from balconies by silver chains, from doors ajar came the +sound of voices singing, and then I saw the men. Their faces were +rather grey than black, and they wore beautiful robes of coloured silk +with hems embroidered with gold and some with copper, and sometimes +pacing down the marble ways with golden baskets hung on each side of +them I saw the camels of which the old shepherd spoke. + +The people had kindly faces, but, though they were evidently friendly +to strangers, I could not speak with them being ignorant of their +language, nor were the sounds of the syllables they used like any +language I had ever heard: they sounded more like grouse. + +When I tried to ask them by signs whence they had come with their city +they would only point to the moon, which was bright and full and was +shining fiercely on those marble ways till the city danced in light. +And now there began appearing one by one, slipping softly out through +windows, men with stringed instruments in the balconies. They were +strange instruments with huge bulbs of wood, and they played softly on +them and very beautifully, and their queer voices softly sang to the +music weird dirges of the griefs of their native land wherever that +may be. And far off in the heart of the city others were singing too, +the sound of it came to me wherever I roamed, not loud enough to +disturb my thoughts, but gently turning the mind to pleasant things. +Slender carved arches of marble, as delicate almost as lace, crossed +and re-crossed the ways wherever I went. There was none of that hurry +of which foolish cities boast, nothing ugly or sordid so far as I +could see. I saw that it was a city of beauty and song. I wondered how +they had travelled with all that marble, how they had laid it down on +Mallington Moor, whence they had come and what their resources were, +and determined to investigate closely next morning, for the old +shepherd had not troubled his head to think how the city came, he had +only noted that the city was there (and of course no one believed him, +though that is partly his fault for his dissolute ways). But at night +one can see little and I had walked all day, so I determined to find a +place to rest in. And just as I was wondering whether to ask for +shelter of those silk-robed men by signs or whether to sleep outside +the walls and enter again in the morning, I came to a great archway in +one of the marble houses with two black curtains, embroidered below +with gold, hanging across it. Over the archway were carved apparently +in many tongues the words: "Here strangers rest." In Greek, Latin and +Spanish the sentence was repeated and there was writing also in the +language that you see on the walls of the great temples of Egypt, and +Arabic and what I took to be early Assyrian and one or two languages I +had never seen. I entered through the curtains and found a tesselated +marble court with golden braziers burning sleepy incense swinging by +chains from the roof, all round the walls were comfortable mattresses +lying upon the floor covered with cloths and silks. It must have been +ten o'clock and I was tired. Outside the music still softly filled the +streets, a man had set a lantern down on the marble way, five or six +sat down round him, and he was sonorously telling them a story. Inside +there were some already asleep on the beds, in the middle of the wide +court under the braziers a woman dressed in blue was singing very +gently, she did not move, but sung on and on, I never heard a song +that was so soothing. I lay down on one of the mattresses by the wall, +which was all inlaid with mosaics, and pulled over me some of the +cloths with their beautiful alien work, and almost immediately my +thoughts seemed part of the song that the woman was singing in the +midst of the court under the golden braziers that hung from the high +roof, and the song turned them to dreams, and so I fell asleep. + +A small wind having arisen, I was awakened by a sprig of heather that +beat continually against my face. It was morning on Mallington Moor, +and the city was quite gone. + + + + + +Why the Milkman Shudders When He Perceives the Dawn + +In the Hall of the Ancient Company of Milkmen round the great +fireplace at the end, when the winter logs are burning and all the +craft are assembled they tell to-day, as their grandfathers told +before them, why the milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. + +When dawn comes creeping over the edges of hills, peers through the +tree-trunks making wonderful shadows, touches the tops of tall columns +of smoke going up from awakening cottages in the valleys, and breaks +all golden over Kentish fields, when going on tip-toe thence it comes +to the walls of London and slips all shyly up those gloomy streets the +milkman perceives it and shudders. + +A man may be a Milkman's Working Apprentice, may know what borax is +and how to mix it, yet not for that is the story told to him. There +are five men alone that tell that story, five men appointed by the +Master of the Company, by whom each place is filled as it falls +vacant, and if you do not hear it from one of them you hear the story +from no one and so can never know why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + +It is the way of one of these five men, greybeards all and milkmen +from infancy, to rub his hands by the fire when the great logs burn, +and to settle himself more easily in his chair, perhaps to sip some +drink far other than milk, then to look round to see that none are +there to whom it would not be fitting the tale should be told and, +looking from face to face and seeing none but the men of the Ancient +Company, and questioning mutely the rest of the five with his eyes, if +some of the five be there, and receiving their permission, to cough +and to tell the tale. And a great hush falls in the Hall of the +Ancient Company, and something about the shape of the roof and the +rafters makes the tale resonant all down the hall so that the youngest +hears it far away from the fire and knows, and dreams of the day when +perhaps he will tell himself why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + +Not as one tells some casual fact is it told, nor is it commented on +from man to man, but it is told by that great fire only and when the +occasion and the stillness of the room and the merit of the wine and +the profit of all seem to warrant it in the opinion of the five +deputed men: then does one of them tell it, as I have said, not +heralded by any master of ceremonies but as though it arose out of the +warmth of the fire before which his knotted hands would chance to be; +not a thing learned by rote, but told differently by each teller, and +differently according to his mood, yet never has one of them dared to +alter its salient points, there is none so base among the Company of +Milkmen. The Company of Powderers for the Face know of this story and +have envied it, the Worthy Company of Chin-Barbers, and the Company of +Whiskerers; but none have heard it in the Milkmen's Hall, through +whose wall no rumour of the secret goes, and though they have invented +tales of their own Antiquity mocks them. + +This mellow story was ripe with honourable years when milkmen wore +beaver hats, its origin was still mysterious when smocks were the +vogue, men asked one another when Stuarts were on the throne (and only +the Ancient Company knew the answer) why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. It is all for envy of this tale's reputation that +the Company of Powderers for the Face have invented the tale that they +too tell of an evening, "Why the Dog Barks when he hears the step of +the Baker"; and because probably all men know that tale the Company of +the Powderers for the Face have dared to consider it famous. Yet it +lacks mystery and is not ancient, is not fortified with classical +allusion, has no secret lore, is common to all who care for an idle +tale, and shares with "The Wars of the Elves," the Calf-butcher's +tale, and "The Story of the Unicorn and the Rose," which is the tale +of the Company of Horse-drivers, their obvious inferiority. + +But unlike all these tales so new to time, and many another that the +last two centuries tell, the tale that the milkmen tell ripples wisely +on, so full of quotation from the profoundest writers, so full of +recondite allusion, so deeply tinged with all the wisdom of man and +instructive with the experience of all times that they that hear it in +the Milkmen's Hall as they interpret allusion after allusion and trace +obscure quotation lose idle curiosity and forget to question why the +milkman shudders when he perceives the dawn. + +You also, O my reader, give not yourself up to curiosity. Consider of +how many it is the bane. Would you to gratify this tear away the +mystery from the Milkmen's Hall and wrong the Ancient Company of +Milkmen? Would they if all the world knew it and it became a common +thing to tell that tale any more that they have told for the last four +hundred years? Rather a silence would settle upon their hall and a +universal regret for the ancient tale and the ancient winter evenings. +And though curiosity were a proper consideration yet even then this is +not the proper place nor this the proper occasion for the Tale. For +the proper place is only the Milkmen's Hall and the proper occasion +only when logs burn well and when wine has been deeply drunken, then +when the candles were burning well in long rows down to the dimness, +down to the darkness and mystery that lie at the end of the hall, then +were you one of the Company, and were I one of the five, would I rise +from my seat by the fireside and tell you with all the embellishments +that it has gleaned from the ages that story that is the heirloom of +the milkmen. And the long candles would burn lower and lower and +gutter and gutter away till they liquefied in their sockets, and +draughts would blow from the shadowy end of the hall stronger and +stronger till the shadows came after them, and still I would hold you +with that treasured story, not by any wit of mine but all for the sake +of its glamour and the times out of which it came; one by one the +candles would flare and die and, when all were gone, by the light of +ominous sparks when each milkman's face looks fearful to his fellow, +you would know, as now you cannot, why the milkman shudders when he +perceives the dawn. + + + + + +The Bad Old Woman in Black + +The bad old woman in black ran down the street of the ox-butchers. + +Windows at once were opened high up in those crazy gables; heads were +thrust out: it was she. Then there arose the counsel of anxious +voices, calling sideways from window to window or across to opposite +houses. Why was she there with her sequins and bugles and old black +gown? Why had she left her dreaded house? On what fell errand she +hasted? + +They watched her lean, lithe figure, and the wind in that old black +dress, and soon she was gone from the cobbled street and under the +town's high gateway. She turned at once to her right and was hid from +the view of the houses. Then they all ran down to their doors, and +small groups formed on the pavement; there they took counsel together, +the eldest speaking first. Of what they had seen they said nothing, +for there was no doubt it was she; it was of the future they spoke, +and the future only. + +In what notorious thing would her errand end? What gains had tempted +her out from her fearful home? What brilliant but sinful scheme had +her genius planned? Above all, what future evil did this portend? Thus +at first it was only questions. And then the old grey-beards spoke, +each one to a little group; they had seen her out before, had known +her when she was younger, and had noted the evil things that had +followed her goings: the small groups listened well to their low and +earnest voices. No one asked questions now or guessed at her infamous +errand, but listened only to the wise old men who knew the things that +had been, and who told the younger men of the dooms that had come +before. + +Nobody knew how many times she had left her dreaded house; but the +oldest recounted all the times that they knew, and the way she had +gone each time, and the doom that had followed her going; and two +could remember the earthquake that there was in the street of the +shearers. + +So were there many tales of the times that were, told on the pavement +near the old green doors by the edge of the cobbled street, and the +experience that the aged men had bought with their white hairs might +be had cheap by the young. But from all their experience only this was +clear, that never twice in their lives had she done the same infamous +thing, and that the same calamity twice had never followed her goings. +Therefore it seemed that means were doubtful and few for finding out +what thing was about to befall; and an ominous feeling of gloom came +down on the street of the ox-butchers. And in the gloom grew fears of +the very worst. This comfort they only had when they put their fear +into words--that the doom that followed her goings had never yet been +anticipated. One feared that with magic she meant to move the moon; +and he would have dammed the high tide on the neighbouring coast, +knowing that as the moon attracted the sea the sea must attract the +moon, and hoping by his device to humble her spells. Another would +have fetched iron bars and clamped them across the street, remembering +the earthquake there was in the street of the shearers. Another would +have honoured his household gods, the little cat-faced idols seated +above his hearth, gods to whom magic was no unusual thing, and, having +paid their fees and honoured them well, would have put the whole case +before them. His scheme found favour with many, and yet at last was +rejected, for others ran indoors and brought out their gods, too, to +be honoured, till there was a herd of gods all seated there on the +pavement; yet would they have honoured them and put their case before +them but that a fat man ran up last of all, carefully holding under a +reverent arm his own two hound-faced gods, though he knew well--as, +indeed, all men must--that they were notoriously at war with the +little cat-faced idols. And although the animosities natural to faith +had all been lulled by the crisis, yet a look of anger had come into +the cat-like faces that no one dared disregard, and all perceived that +if they stayed a moment longer there would be flaming around them the +jealousy of the gods; so each man hastily took his idols home, leaving +the fat man insisting that his hound-faced gods should be honoured. + +Then there were schemes again and voices raised in debate, and many +new dangers feared and new plans made. + +But in the end they made no defence against danger, for they knew not +what it would be, but wrote upon parchment as a warning, and in order +that all might know: "_The bad old woman in black ran down the street +of the ox-butchers._" + + + + + +The Bird of the Difficult Eye + +Observant men and women that know their Bond Street well will +appreciate my astonishment when in a jewellers' shop I perceived that +nobody was furtively watching me. Not only this but when I even picked +up a little carved crystal to examine it no shop-assistants crowded +round me. I walked the whole length of the shop, still no one politely +followed. + +Seeing from this that some extraordinary revolution had occurred in +the jewelry business I went with my curiosity well aroused to a queer +old person half demon and half man who has an idol-shop in a byway of +the City and who keeps me informed of affairs at the Edge of the +World. And briefly over a pinch of heather incense that he takes by +way of snuff he gave me this tremendous information: that Mr. Neepy +Thang the son of Thangobrind had returned from the Edge of the World +and was even now in London. + +The information may not appear tremendous to those unacquainted with +the source of jewelry; but when I say that the only thief employed by +any West-end jeweller since famous Thangobrind's distressing doom is +this same Neepy Thang, and that for lightness of fingers and swiftness +of stockinged foot they have none better in Paris, it will be +understood why the Bond Street jewellers no longer cared what became +of their old stock. + +There were big diamonds in London that summer and a few considerable +sapphires. In certain astounding kingdoms behind the East strange +sovereigns missed from their turbans the heirlooms of ancient wars, +and here and there the keepers of crown jewels who had not heard the +stockinged feet of Thang, were questioned and died slowly. + +And the jewellers gave a little dinner to Thang at the Hotel Great +Magnificent; the windows had not been opened for five years and there +was wine at a guinea a bottle that you could not tell from champagne +and cigars at half a crown with a Havana label. Altogether it was a +splendid evening for Thang. + +But I have to tell of a far sadder thing than a dinner at a hotel. The +public require jewelry and jewelry must be obtained. I have to tell of +Neepy Thang's last journey. + +That year the fashion was emeralds. A man named Green had recently +crossed the Channel on a bicycle and the jewellers said that a green +stone would be particularly appropriate to commemorate the event and +recommended emeralds. + +Now a certain money-lender of Cheapside who had just been made a peer +had divided his gains into three equal parts; one for the purchase of +the peerage, country house and park, and the twenty thousand pheasants +that are absolutely essential, and one for the upkeep of the position, +while the third he banked abroad, partly to cheat the native +tax-gatherer and partly because it seemed to him that the days of the +Peerage were few and that he might at any moment be called upon to +start afresh elsewhere. In the upkeep of the position he included +jewelry for his wife and so it came about that Lord Castlenorman +placed an order with two well-known Bond-street jewellers named +Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell to the extent of L100,000 for a few +reliable emeralds. + +But the emeralds in stock were mostly small and shop-soiled and Neepy +Thang had to set out at once before he had had as much as a week in +London. I will briefly sketch his project. Not many knew it, for where +the form of business is blackmail the fewer creditors you have the +better (which of course in various degrees applies at all times). + +On the shores of the risky seas of Shiroora Shan grows one tree only +so that upon its branches if anywhere in the world there must build +its nest the Bird of the Difficult Eye. Neepy Thang had come by this +information, which was indeed the truth, that if the bird migrated to +Fairyland before the three eggs hatched out they would undoubtedly all +turn into emeralds, while if they hatched out first it would be a bad +business. + +When he had mentioned these eggs to Messrs. Grosvenor and Campbell +they had said, "The very thing": they were men of few words, in +English, for it was not their native tongue. + +So Neepy Thang set out. He bought the purple ticket at Victoria +Station. He went by Herne Hill, Bromley and Bickley and passed St. +Mary Cray. At Eynsford he changed and taking a footpath along a +winding valley went wandering into the hills. And at the top of a hill +in a little wood, where all the anemones long since were over and the +perfume of mint and thyme from outside came drifting in with Thang, he +found once more the familiar path, age-old and fair as wonder, that +leads to the Edge of the World. Little to him were its sacred memories +that are one with the secret of earth, for he was on business, and +little would they be to me if I ever put them on paper. Let it suffice +that he went down that path going further and further from the fields +we know, and all the way he muttered to himself, "What if the eggs +hatch out and it be a bad business!" The glamour that is at all times +upon those lonely lands that lie at the back of the chalky hills of +Kent intensified as he went upon his journeys. Queerer and queerer +grew the things that he saw by little World-End Path. Many a twilight +descended upon that journey with all their mysteries, many a blaze of +stars; many a morning came flaming up to a tinkle of silvern horns; +till the outpost elves of Fairyland came in sight and the glittering +crests of Fairyland's three mountains betokened the journey's end. And +so with painful steps (for the shores of the world are covered with +huge crystals) he came to the risky seas of Shiroora Shan and saw them +pounding to gravel the wreckage of fallen stars, saw them and heard +their roar, those shipless seas that between earth and the fairies' +homes heave beneath some huge wind that is none of our four. And there +in the darkness on the grizzly coast, for darkness was swooping +slantwise down the sky as though with some evil purpose, there stood +that lonely, gnarled and deciduous tree. It was a bad place to be +found in after dark, and night descended with multitudes of stars, +beasts prowling in the blackness gluttered [See any dictionary, but in +vain.] at Neepy Thang. And there on a lower branch within easy reach +he clearly saw the Bird of the Difficult Eye sitting upon the nest for +which she is famous. Her face was towards those three inscrutable +mountains, far-off on the other side of the risky seas, whose hidden +valleys are Fairyland. Though not yet autumn in the fields we know, it +was close on midwinter here, the moment as Thang knew when those eggs +hatch out. Had he miscalculated and arrived a minute too late? Yet the +bird was even now about to migrate, her pinions fluttered and her gaze +was toward Fairyland. Thang hoped and muttered a prayer to those pagan +gods whose spite and vengeance he had most reason to fear. It seems +that it was too late or a prayer too small to placate them, for there +and then the stroke of midwinter came and the eggs hatched out in the +roar of Shiroora Shan or ever the bird was gone with her difficult eye +and it was a bad business indeed for Neepy Thang; I haven't the heart +to tell you any more. + +"'Ere," said Lord Castlenorman some few weeks later to Messrs. +Grosvenor and Campbell, "you aren't 'arf taking your time about those +emeralds." + + + + + +The Long Porter's Tale + +There are things that are known only to the long porter of Tong Tong +Tarrup as he sits and mumbles memories to himself in the little +bastion gateway. + +He remembers the war there was in the halls of the gnomes; and how the +fairies came for the opals once, which Tong Tong Tarrup has; and the +way that the giants went through the fields below, he watching from +his gateway: he remembers quests that are even yet a wonder to the +gods. Who dwells in those frozen houses on the high bare brink of the +world not even he has told me, and he is held to be garrulous. Among +the elves, the only living things ever seen moving at that awful +altitude where they quarry turquoise on Earth's highest crag, his name +is a byword for loquacity wherewith they mock the talkative. + +His favourite story if you offer him bash--the drug of which he is +fondest, and for which he will give his service in war to the elves +against the goblins, or vice-versa if the goblins bring him more--his +favourite story, when bodily soothed by the drug and mentally fiercely +excited, tells of a quest undertaken ever so long ago for nothing more +marketable than an old woman's song. + +Picture him telling it. An old man, lean and bearded, and almost +monstrously long, that lolled in a city's gateway on a crag perhaps +ten miles high; the houses for the most part facing eastward, lit by +the sun and moon and the constellations we know, but one house on the +pinnacle looking over the edge of the world and lit by the glimmer of +those unearthly spaces where one long evening wears away the stars: my +little offering of bash; a long forefinger that nipped it at once on a +stained and greedy thumb--all these are in the foreground of the +picture. In the background, the mystery of those silent houses and of +not knowing who their denizens were, or what service they had at the +hands of the long porter and what payment he had in return, and +whether he was mortal. + +Picture him in the gateway of this incredible town, having swallowed +my bash in silence, stretch his great length, lean back, and begin to +speak. + +It seems that one clear morning a hundred years ago, a visitor to Tong +Tong Tarrup was climbing up from the world. He had already passed +above the snow and had set his foot on a step of the earthward +stairway that goes down from Tong Tong Tarrup on to the rocks, when +the long porter saw him. And so painfully did he climb those easy +steps that the grizzled man on watch had long to wonder whether or not +the stranger brought him bash, the drug that gives a meaning to the +stars and seems to explain the twilight. And in the end there was not +a scrap of bash, and the stranger had nothing better to offer that +grizzled man than his mere story only. + +It seems that the stranger's name was Gerald Jones, and he always +lived in London; but once as a child he had been on a Northern moor. +It was so long ago that he did not remember how, only somehow or other +he walked alone on the moor, and all the ling was in flower. There was +nothing in sight but ling and heather and bracken, except, far off +near the sunset, on indistinct hills, there were little vague patches +that looked like the fields of men. With evening a mist crept up and +hid the hills, and still he went walking on over the moor. And then he +came to the valley, a tiny valley in the midst of the moor, whose +sides were incredibly steep. He lay down and looked at it through the +roots of the ling. And a long, long way below him, in a garden by a +cottage, with hollyhocks all round her that were taller than herself, +there sat an old woman on a wooden chair, singing in the evening. And +the man had taken a fancy to the song and remembered it after in +London, and whenever it came to his mind it made him think of +evenings--the kind you don't get in London--and he heard a soft wind +going idly over the moor and the bumble-bees in a hurry, and forgot +the noise of the traffic. And always, whenever he heard men speak of +Time, he grudged to Time most this song. Once afterwards he went to +that Northern moor again and found the tiny valley, but there was no +old woman in the garden, and no one was singing a song. And either +regret for the song that the old woman had sung, on a summer evening +twenty years away and daily receding, troubled his mind, or else the +wearisome work that he did in London, for he worked for a great firm +that was perfectly useless; and he grew old early, as men do in +cities. And at last, when melancholy brought only regret and the +uselessness of his work gained round him with age, he decided to +consult a magician. So to a magician he went and told him his +troubles, and particularly he told him how he had heard the song. "And +now," he said, "it is nowhere in the world." + +"Of course it is not in the world," the magician said, "but over the +Edge of the World you may easily find it." And he told the man that he +was suffering from flux of time and recommended a day at the Edge of +the World. Jones asked what part of the Edge of the World he should go +to, and the magician had heard Tong Tong Tarrup well spoken of; so he +paid him, as is usual, in opals, and started at once on the journey. +The ways to that town are winding; he took the ticket at Victoria +Station that they only give if they know you: he went past Bleth: he +went along the Hills of Neol-Hungar and came to the Gap of Poy. All +these are in that part of the world that pertains to the fields we +know; but beyond the Gap of Poy on those ordinary plains, that so +closely resemble Sussex, one first meets the unlikely. A line of +common grey hills, the Hills of Sneg, may be seen at the edge of the +plain from the Gap of Poy; it is there that the incredible begins, +infrequently at first, but happening more and more as you go up the +hills. For instance, descending once into Poy Plains, the first thing +that I saw was an ordinary shepherd watching a flock of ordinary +sheep. I looked at them for some time and nothing happened, when, +without a word, one of the sheep walked up to the shepherd and +borrowed his pipe and smoked it--an incident that struck me as +unlikely; but in the Hills of Sneg I met an honest politician. Over +these plains went Jones and over the Hills of Sneg, meeting at first +unlikely things, and then incredible things, till he came to the long +slope beyond the hills that leads up to the Edge of the World, and +where, as all guidebooks tell, anything may happen. You might at the +foot of this slope see here and there things that could conceivably +occur in the fields we know; but soon these disappeared, and the +traveller saw nothing but fabulous beasts, browsing on flowers as +astounding as themselves, and rocks so distorted that their shapes had +clearly a meaning, being too startling to be accidental. Even the +trees were shockingly unfamiliar, they had so much to say, and they +leant over to one another whenever they spoke and struck grotesque +attitudes and leered. Jones saw two fir-trees fighting. The effect of +these scenes on his nerves was very severe; still he climbed on, and +was much cheered at last by the sight of a primrose, the only familiar +thing he had seen for hours, but it whistled and skipped away. He saw +the unicorns in their secret valley. Then night in a sinister way +slipped over the sky, and there shone not only the stars, but lesser +and greater moons, and he heard dragons rattling in the dark. + +With dawn there appeared above him among its amazing crags the town of +Tong Tong Tarrup, with the light on its frozen stairs, a tiny cluster +of houses far up in the sky. He was on the steep mountain now: great +mists were leaving it slowly, and revealing, as they trailed away, +more and more astonishing things. Before the mist had all gone he +heard quite near him, on what he had thought was bare mountain, the +sound of a heavy galloping on turf. He had come to the plateau of the +centaurs. And all at once he saw them in the mist: there they were, +the children of fable, five enormous centaurs. Had he paused on +account of any astonishment he had not come so far: he strode on over +the plateau, and came quite near to the centaurs. It is never the +centaurs' wont to notice men; they pawed the ground and shouted to one +another in Greek, but they said no word to him. Nevertheless they +turned and stared at him when he left them, and when he had crossed +the plateau and still went on, all five of them cantered after to the +edge of their green land; for above the high green plateau of the +centaurs is nothing but naked mountains, and the last green thing that +is seen by the mountaineer as he travels to Tong Tong Tarrup is the +grass that the centaurs trample. He came into the snow fields that the +mountain wears like a cape, its head being bare above it, and still +climbed on. The centaurs watched him with increasing wonder. + +Not even fabulous beasts were near him now, nor strange demoniac +trees--nothing but snow and the clean bare crag above it on which was +Tong Tong Tarrup. All day he climbed and evening found him above the +snow-line; and soon he came to the stairway cut in the rock and in +sight of that grizzled man, the long porter of Tong Tong Tarrup, +sitting mumbling amazing memories to himself and expecting in vain +from the stranger a gift of bash. + +It seems that as soon as the stranger arrived at the bastion gateway, +tired though he was, he demanded lodgings at once that commanded a +good view of the Edge of the World. But the long porter, that grizzled +man, disappointed of his bash, demanded the stranger's story to add to +his memories before he would show him the way. And this is the story, +if the long porter has told me the truth and if his memory is still +what it was. And when the story was told, the grizzled man arose, and, +dangling his musical keys, went up through door after door and by many +stairs and led the stranger to the top-most house, the highest roof in +the world, and in its parlour showed him the parlour window. There the +tired stranger sat down in a chair and gazed out of the window sheer +over the Edge of the World. The window was shut, and in its glittering +panes the twilight of the World's Edge blazed and danced, partly like +glow-worms' lamps and partly like the sea; it went by rippling, full +of wonderful moons. But the traveller did not look at the wonderful +moons. For from the abyss there grew with their roots in far +constellations a row of hollyhocks, and amongst them a small green +garden quivered and trembled as scenes tremble in water; higher up, +ling in bloom was floating upon the twilight, more and more floated up +till all the twilight was purple; the little green garden low down was +hung in the midst of it. And the garden down below, and the ling all +round it, seemed all to be trembling and drifting on a song. For the +twilight was full of a song that sang and rang along the edges of the +World, and the green garden and the ling seemed to flicker and ripple +with it as the song rose and fell, and an old woman was singing it +down in the garden. A bumble-bee sailed across from over the Edge of +the World. And the song that was lapping there against the coasts of +the World, and to which the stars were dancing, was the same that he +had heard the old woman sing long since down in the valley in the +midst of the Northern moor. + +But that grizzled man, the long porter, would not let the stranger +stay, because he brought him no bash, and impatiently he shouldered +him away, himself not troubling to glance through the World's +outermost window, for the lands that Time afflicts and the spaces that +Time knows not are all one to that grizzled man, and the bash that he +eats more profoundly astounds his mind than anything man can show him +either in the World we know or over the Edge. And, bitterly +protesting, the traveller went back and down again to the World. + + . . . . . + +Accustomed as I am to the incredible from knowing the Edge of the +World, the story presents difficulties to me. Yet it may be that the +devastation wrought by Time is merely local, and that outside the +scope of his destruction old songs are still being sung by those that +we deem dead. I try to hope so. And yet the more I investigate the +story that the long porter told me in the town of Tong Tong Tarrup the +more plausible the alternative theory appears--that that grizzled man +is a liar. + + + + + +The Loot of Loma + +Coming back laden with the loot of Loma, the four tall men looked +earnestly to the right; to the left they durst not, for the precipice +there that had been with them so long went sickly down on to a bank of +clouds, and how much further below that only their fears could say. + +Loma lay smoking, a city of ruin, behind them, all its defenders dead; +there was no one left to pursue them, and yet their Indian instincts +told them that all was scarcely well. They had gone three days along +that narrow ledge: mountain quite smooth, incredible, above them, and +precipice as smooth and as far below. It was chilly there in the +mountains; at night a stream or a wind in the gloom of the chasm below +them went like a whisper; the stillness of all things else began to +wear the nerve--an enemy's howl would have braced them; they began to +wish their perilous path were wider, they began to wish that they had +not sacked Loma. + +Had that path been any wider the sacking of Loma must indeed have been +harder for them, for the citizens must have fortified the city but +that the awful narrowness of that ten-league pass of the hills had +made their crag-surrounded city secure. And at last an Indian had +said, "Come, let us sack it." Grimly they laughed in the wigwams. Only +the eagles, they said, had ever seen it, its hoard of emeralds and its +golden gods; and one had said he would reach it, and they answered, +"Only the eagles." + +It was Laughing Face who said it, and who gathered thirty braves and +led them into Loma with their tomahawks and their bows; there were +only four left now, but they had the loot of Loma on a mule. They had +four golden gods, a hundred emeralds, fifty-two rubies, a large silver +gong, two sticks of malachite with amethyst handles for holding +incense at religious feasts, four beakers one foot high, each carved +from a rose-quartz crystal; a little coffer carved out of two +diamonds, and (had they but known it) the written curse of a priest. +It was written on parchment in an unknown tongue, and had been slipped +in with the loot by a dying hand. + +From either end of that narrow, terrible ledge the third night was +closing in; it was dropping down on them from the heights of the +mountain and slipping up to them out of the abyss, the third night +since Loma blazed and they had left it. Three more days of tramping +should bring them in triumph home, and yet their instincts said that +all was scarcely well. We who sit at home and draw the blinds and shut +the shutters as soon as night appears, who gather round the fire when +the wind is wild, who pray at regular seasons and in familiar shrines, +know little of the demoniac look of night when it is filled with +curses of false, infuriated gods. Such a night was this. Though in the +heights the fleecy clouds were idle, yet the wind was stirring +mournfully in the abyss and moaning as it stirred, unhappily at first +and full of sorrow; but as day turned away from that awful path a very +definite menace entered its voice which fast grew louder and louder, +and night came on with a long howl. Shadows repeatedly passed over the +stars, and then a mist fell swiftly, as though there were something +suddenly to be done and utterly to be hidden, as in very truth there +was. + +And in the chill of that mist the four tall men prayed to their +totems, the whimsical wooden figures that stood so far away, watching +the pleasant wigwams; the firelight even now would be dancing over +their faces, while there would come to their ears delectable tales of +war. They halted upon the pass and prayed, and waited for any sign. +For a man's totem may be in the likeness perhaps of an otter, and a +man may pray, and if his totem be placable and watching over his man a +noise may be heard at once like the noise that the otter makes, though +it be but a stone that falls on another stone; and the noise is a +sign. The four men's totems that stood so far away were in the +likeness of the coney, the bear, the heron, and the lizard. They +waited, and no sign came. With all the noises of the wind in the +abyss, no noise was like the thump that the coney makes, nor the +bear's growl, nor the heron's screech, nor the rustle of the lizard in +the reeds. + +It seemed that the wind was saying something over and over again, and +that that thing was evil. They prayed again to their totems, and no +sign came. And then they knew that there was some power that night +that was prevailing against the pleasant carvings on painted poles of +wood with the firelight on their faces so far away. Now it was clear +that the wind was saying something, some very, very dreadful thing in +a tongue that they did not know. They listened, but they could not +tell what it said. Nobody could have said from seeing their faces how +much the four tall men desired the wigwams again, desired the +camp-fire and the tales of war and the benignant totems that listened +and smiled in the dusk: nobody could have seen how well they knew that +this was no common night or wholesome mist. + +When at last no answer came nor any sign from their totems, they +pulled out of the bag those golden gods that Loma gave not up except +in flames and when all her men were dead. They had large ruby eyes and +emerald tongues. They set them down upon that mountain pass, the +cross-legged idols with their emerald tongues; and having placed +between them a few decent yards, as it seemed meet there should be +between gods and men, they bowed them down and prayed in their +desperate straits in that dank, ominous night to the gods they had +wronged, for it seemed that there was a vengeance upon the hills and +that they would scarce escape, as the wind knew well. And the gods +laughed, all four, and wagged their emerald tongues; the Indians saw +them, though the night had fallen and though the mist was low. The +four tall men leaped up at once from their knees and would have left +the gods upon the pass but that they feared some hunter of their tribe +might one day find them and say of Laughing Face, "He fled and left +behind his golden gods," and sell the gold and come with his wealth to +the wigwams and be greater than Laughing Face and his three men. And +then they would have cast the gods away, down the abyss, with their +eyes and their emerald tongues, but they knew that enough already they +had wronged Loma's gods, and feared that vengeance enough was waiting +them on the hills. So they packed them back in the bag on the +frightened mule, the bag that held the curse they knew nothing of, and +so pushed on into the menacing night. Till midnight they plodded on +and would not sleep; grimmer and grimmer grew the look of the night, +and the wind more full of meaning, and the mule knew and trembled, and +it seemed that the wind knew, too, as did the instincts of those four +tall men, though they could not reason it out, try how they would. + +And though the squaws waited long where the pass winds out of the +mountains, near where the wigwams are upon the plains, the wigwams and +the totems and the fire, and though they watched by day, and for many +nights uttered familiar calls, still did they never see those four +tall men emerge out of the mountains any more, even though they prayed +to their totems upon their painted poles; but the curse in the +mystical writing that they had unknown in their bag worked there on +that lonely pass six leagues from the ruins of Loma, and nobody can +tell us what it was. + + + + + +The Secret of the Sea + +In an ill-lit ancient tavern that I know, are many tales of the sea; +but not without the wine of Gorgondy, that I had of a private bargain +from the gnomes, was the tale laid bare for which I had waited of an +evening for the greater part of a year. + +I knew my man and listened to his stories, sitting amid the bluster of +his oaths; I plied him with rum and whiskey and mixed drinks, but +there never came the tale for which I sought, and as a last resort I +went to the Huthneth Mountains and bargained there all night with the +chiefs of the gnomes. + +When I came to the ancient tavern and entered the low-roofed room, +bringing the hoard of the gnomes in a bottle of hammered iron, my man +had not yet arrived. The sailors laughed at my old iron bottle, but I +sat down and waited; had I opened it then they would have wept and +sung. I was well content to wait, for I knew my man had the story, and +it was such a one as had profoundly stirred the incredulity of the +faithless. + +He entered and greeted me, and sat down and called for brandy. He was +a hard man to turn from his purpose, and, uncorking my iron bottle, I +sought to dissuade him from brandy for fear that when the brandy, bit +his throat he should refuse to leave it for any other wine. He lifted +his head and said deep and dreadful things of any man that should dare +to speak against brandy. + +I swore that I said nothing against brandy but added that it was often +given to children, while Gorgondy was only drunk by men of such +depravity that they had abandoned sin because all the usual vices had +come to seem genteel. When he asked if Gorgondy was a bad wine to +drink I said that it was so bad that if a man sipped it that was the +one touch that made damnation certain. Then he asked me what I had in +the iron bottle, and I said it was Gorgondy; and then he shouted for +the largest tumbler in that ill-lit ancient tavern, and stood up and +shook his fist at me when it came, and swore, and told me to fill it +with the wine that I got on that bitter night from the treasure house +of the gnomes. + +As he drank it he told me that he had met men who had spoken against +wine, and that they had mentioned Heaven; and therefore he would not +go there--no, not he; and that once he had sent one of them to Hell, +but when he got there he would turn him out, and he had no use for +milksops. + +Over the second tumbler he was thoughtful, but still he said no word +of the tale he knew, until I feared that it would never be heard. But +when the third glass of that terrific wine had burned its way down his +gullet, and vindicated the wickedness of the gnomes, his reticence +withered like a leaf in the fire, and he bellowed out the secret. + +I had long known that there is in ships a will or way of their own, +and had even suspected that when sailors die or abandon their ships at +sea, a derelict, being left to her own devices, may seek her own ends; +but I had never dreamed by night, or fancied during the day, that the +ships had a god that they worshipped, or that they secretly slipped +away to a temple in the sea. + +Over the fourth glass of the wine that the gnomes so sinfully brew but +have kept so wisely from man, until the bargain that I had with their +elders all through that autumn night, the sailor told me the story. I +do not tell it as he told it to me because of the oaths that were in +it; nor is it from delicacy that I refrain from writing these oaths +verbatim, but merely because the horror they caused in me at the time +troubles me still whenever I put them on paper, and I continue to +shudder until I have blotted them out. Therefore, I tell the story in +my own words, which, if they possess a certain decency that was not in +the mouth of that sailor, unfortunately do not smack, as his did, of +rum and blood and the sea. + +You would take a ship to be a dead thing like a table, as dead as bits +of iron and canvas and wood. That is because you always live on shore, +and have never seen the sea, and drink milk. Milk is a more accursed +drink than water. + +What with the captain and what with the man at the wheel, and what +with the crew, a ship has no fair chance of showing a will of her own. + +There is only one moment in the history of ships, that carry crews on +board, when they act by their own free will. This moment comes when +all the crew are drunk. As the last man falls drunk on to the deck, +the ship is free of man, and immediately slips away. She slips away at +once on a new course and is never one yard out in a hundred miles. + +It was like this one night with the Sea-Fancy. Bill Smiles was there +himself, and can vouch for it. Bill Smiles has never told this tale +before for fear that anyone should call him a liar. Nobody dislikes +being hung as much as Bill Smiles would, but he won't be called a +liar. I tell the tale as I heard it, relevancies and irrelevancies, +though in my more decent words; and as I made no doubts of the truth +of it then, I hardly like to now; others can please themselves. + +It is not often that the whole of a crew is drunk. The crew of +the Sea-Fancy was no drunkener than others. It happened like this. + +The captain was always drunk. One day a fancy he had that some spiders +were plotting against him, or a sudden bleeding he had from both his +ears, made him think that drinking might be bad for his health. Next +day he signed the pledge. He was sober all that morning and all the +afternoon, but at evening he saw a sailor drinking a a glass of beer, +and a fit of madness seized him, and he said things that seemed bad to +Bill Smiles. And next morning he made all of them take the pledge. + +For two days nobody had a drop to drink, unless you count water, and +on the third morning the captain was quite drunk. It stood to reason +they all had a glass or two then, except the man at the wheel; and +towards evening the man at the wheel could bear it no longer, and +seems to have had his glass like all the rest, for the ship's course +wobbled a bit and made a circle or two. Then all of a sudden she went +off south by east under full canvas till midnight, and never altered +her course. And at midnight she came to the wide wet courts of the +Temple in the Sea. + +People who think that Mr. Smiles is drunk often make a great mistake. And +people are not the only ones that have made that mistake. Once a +ship made it, and a lot of ships. It's a mistake to think that old Bill +Smiles is drunk just because he can't move. + +Midnight and moonlight and the Temple in the Sea Bill Smiles clearly +remembers, and all the derelicts in the world were there, the old +abandoned ships. The figureheads were nodding to themselves and +blinking at the image. The image was a woman of white marble on a +pedestal in the outer court of the Temple of the Sea: she was clearly +the love of all the man-deserted ships, or the goddess to whom they +prayed their heathen prayers. And as Bill Smiles was watching them, +the lips of the figureheads moved; they all began to pray. But all at +once their lips were closed with a snap when they saw that there were +men on the Sea-Fancy. They all came crowding up and nodded and nodded +and nodded to see if all were drunk, and that's when they made their +mistake about old Bill Smiles, although he couldn't move. They would +have given up the treasuries of the gulfs sooner than let men hear the +prayers they said or guess their love for the goddess. It is the +intimate secret of the sea. + +The sailor paused. And, in my eagerness to hear what lyrical or +blasphemous thing those figureheads prayed by moonlight at midnight in +the sea to the woman of marble who was a goddess to ships, I pressed +on the sailor more of my Gorgondy wine that the gnomes so wickedly +brew. + +I should never have done it; but there he was sitting silent while the +secret was almost mine. He took it moodily and drank a glass; and with +the other glasses that he had had he fell a prey to the villainy of +the gnomes who brew this unbridled wine to no good end. His body +leaned forward slowly, then fell on to the table, his face being +sideways and full of a wicked smile, and, saying very clearly the one +word, "Hell," he became silent for ever with the secret he had from +the sea. + + + + + +How Ali Came to the Black Country + +Shooshan the barber went to Shep the maker of teeth to discuss the +state of England. They agreed that it was time to send for Ali. + +So Shooshan stepped late that night from the little shop near Fleet +Street and made his way back again to his house in the ends of London +and sent at once the message that brought Ali. + +And Ali came, mostly on foot, from the country of Persia, and it took +him a year to come; but when he came he was welcome. + +And Shep told Ali what was the matter with England and Shooshan swore +that it was so, and Ali looking out of the window of the little shop +near Fleet Street beheld the ways of London and audibly blessed King +Solomon and his seal. + +When Shep and Shooshan heard the names of King Solomon and his seal +both asked, as they had scarcely dared before, if Ali had it. Ali +patted a little bundle of silks that he drew from his inner raiment. +It was there. + +Now concerning the movements and courses of the stars and the +influence on them of spirits of Earth and devils this age has been +rightly named by some The Second Age of Ignorance. But Ali knew. And +by watching nightly, for seven nights in Bagdad, the way of certain +stars he had found out the dwelling place of Him they Needed. + +Guided by Ali all three set forth for the Midlands. And by the +reverence that was manifest in the faces of Shep and Shooshan towards +the person of Ali, some knew what Ali carried, while others said that +it was the tablets of the Law, others the name of God, and others that +he must have a lot of money about him. So they passed Slod and Apton. + +And at last they came to the town for which Ali sought, that spot over +which he had seen the shy stars wheel and swerve away from their +orbits, being troubled. Verily when they came there were no stars, +though it was midnight. And Ali said that it was the appointed place. +In harems in Persia in the evening when the tales go round it is still +told how Ali and Shep and Shooshan came to the Black country. + +When it was dawn they looked upon the country and saw how it was +without doubt the appointed place, even as Ali had said, for the earth +had been taken out of pits and burned and left lying in heaps, and +there were many factories, and they stood over the town and as it were +rejoiced. And with one voice Shep and Shooshan gave praise to Ali. + +And Ali said that the great ones of the place must needs be gathered +together, and to this end Shep and Shooshan went into the town and +there spoke craftily. For they said that Ali had of his wisdom +contrived as it were a patent and a novelty which should greatly +benefit England. And when they heard how he sought nothing for his +novelty save only to benefit mankind they consented to speak with Ali +and see his novelty. And they came forth and met Ali. + +And Ali spake and said unto them: "O lords of this place; in the book +that all men know it is written how that a fisherman casting his net +into the sea drew up a bottle of brass, and when he took the stopper +from the bottle a dreadful genie of horrible aspect rose from the +bottle, as it were like a smoke, even to darkening the sky, whereat +the fisherman..." And the great ones of that place said: "We have +heard the story." And Ali said: "What became of that genie after he +was safely thrown back into the sea is not properly spoken of by any +save those that pursue the study of demons and not with certainty by +any man, but that the stopper that bore the ineffable seal and bears +it to this day became separate from the bottle is among those things +that man may know." And when there was doubt among the great ones Ali +drew forth his bundle and one by one removed those many silks till the +seal stood revealed; and some of them knew it for the seal and others +knew it not. + +And they looked curiously at it and listened to Ali, and Ali said: + +"Having heard how evil is the case of England, how a smoke has +darkened the country, and in places (as men say) the grass is black, +and how even yet your factories multiply, and haste and noise have +become such that men have no time for song, I have therefore come at +the bidding of my good friend Shooshan, barber of London, and of Shep, +a maker of teeth, to make things well with you." + +And they said: "But where is your patent and your novelty?" + +And Ali said: "Have I not here the stopper and on it, as good men +know, the ineffable seal? Now I have learned in Persia how that your +trains that make the haste, and hurry men to and fro, and your +factories and the digging of your pits and all the things that are +evil are everyone of them caused and brought about by steam." + +"Is it not so?" said Shooshan. + +"It is even so," said Shep. + +"Now it is clear," said Ali, "that the chief devil that vexes England +and has done all this harm, who herds men into cities and will not let +them rest, is even the devil Steam." + +Then the great ones would have rebuked him but one said: "No, let us +hear him, perhaps his patent may improve on steam." + +And to them hearkening Ali went on thus: "O Lords of this place, let +there be made a bottle of strong steel, for I have no bottle with my +stopper, and this being done let all the factories, trains, digging of +pits, and all evil things soever that may be done by steam be stopped +for seven days, and the men that tend them shall go free, but the +steel bottle for my stopper I will leave open in a likely place. Now +that chief devil, Steam, finding no factories to enter into, nor no +trains, sirens nor pits prepared for him, and being curious and +accustomed to steel pots, will verily enter one night into the bottle +that you shall make for my stopper, and I shall spring forth from my +hiding with my stopper and fasten him down with the ineffable seal +which is the seal of King Solomon and deliver him up to you that you +cast him into the sea." + +And the great ones answered Ali and they said: "But what should we +gain if we lose our prosperity and be no longer rich?" + +And Ali said: "When we have cast this devil into the sea there will +come back again the woods and ferns and all the beautiful things that +the world hath, the little leaping hares shall be seen at play, there +shall be music on the hills again, and at twilight ease and quiet and +after the twilight stars." + +And "Verily," said Shooshan, "there shall be the dance again." + +"Aye," said Shep, "there shall be the country dance." + +But the great ones spake and said, denying Ali: "We will make no such +bottle for your stopper nor stop our healthy factories or good trains, +nor cease from our digging of pits nor do anything that you desire, +for an interference with steam would strike at the roots of that +prosperity that you see so plentifully all around us." + +Thus they dismissed Ali there and then from that place where the earth +was torn up and burnt, being taken out of pits, and where factories +blazed all night with a demoniac glare; and they dismissed with him +both Shooshan, the barber, and Shep, the maker of teeth: so that a +week later Ali started from Calais on his long walk back to Persia. + +And all this happened thirty years ago, and Shep is an old man now and +Shooshan older, and many mouths have bit with the teeth of Shep (for +he has a knack of getting them back whenever his customers die), and +they have written again to Ali away in the country of Persia with +these words, saying: + +"O Ali. The devil has indeed begotten a devil, even that spirit +Petrol. And the young devil waxeth, and increaseth in lustihood and is +ten years old and becoming like to his father. Come therefore and help +us with the ineffable seal. For there is none like Ali." + +And Ali turns where his slaves scatter rose-leaves, letting the letter +fall, and deeply draws from his hookah a puff of the scented smoke, +right down into his lungs, and sighs it forth and smiles, and lolling +round on to his other elbow speaks comfortably and says, "And shall a +man go twice to the help of a dog?" + +And with these words he thinks no more of England but ponders again +the inscrutable ways of God. + + + + + +The Bureau d'Echange de Maux + +I often think of the Bureau d'Echange de Maux and the wondrously evil +old man that sate therein. It stood in a little street that there is +in Paris, its doorway made of three brown beams of wood, the top one +overlapping the others like the Greek letter _pi_, all the rest +painted green, a house far lower and narrower than its neighbours and +infinitely stranger, a thing to take one's fancy. And over the doorway +on the old brown beam in faded yellow letters this legend ran, Bureau +Universel d'Echanges de Maux. + +I entered at once and accosted the listless man that lolled on a stool +by his counter. I demanded the wherefore of his wonderful house, what +evil wares he exchanged, with many other things that I wished to know, +for curiosity led me; and indeed had it not I had gone at once from +that shop, for there was so evil a look in that fattened man, in the +hang of his fallen cheeks and his sinful eye, that you would have said +he had had dealings with Hell and won the advantage by sheer +wickedness. + +Such a man was mine host; but above all the evil of him lay in his +eyes, which lay so still, so apathetic, that you would have sworn that +he was drugged or dead; like lizards motionless on a wall they lay, +then suddenly they darted, and all his cunning flamed up and revealed +itself in what one moment before seemed no more than a sleepy and +ordinary wicked old man. And this was the object and trade of that +peculiar shop, the Bureau Universel d'Echange de Maux: you paid twenty +francs, which the old man proceeded to take from me, for admission to +the bureau and then had the right to exchange any evil or misfortune +with anyone on the premises for some evil or misfortune that he "could +afford," as the old man put it. + +There were four or five men in the dingy ends of that low-ceilinged +room who gesticulated and muttered softly in twos as men who make a +bargain, and now and then more came in, and the eyes of the flabby +owner of the house leaped up at them as they entered, seemed to know +their errands at once and each one's peculiar need, and fell back +again into somnolence, receiving his twenty francs in an almost +lifeless hand and biting the coin as though in pure absence of mind. + +"Some of my clients," he told me. So amazing to me was the trade of +this extraordinary shop that I engaged the old man in conversation, +repulsive though he was, and from his garrulity I gathered these +facts. He spoke in perfect English though his utterance was somewhat +thick and heavy; no language seemed to come amiss to him. He had been +in business a great many years, how many he would not say, and was far +older than he looked. All kinds of people did business in his shop. +What they exchanged with each other he did not care except that it had +to be evils, he was not empowered to carry on any other kind of +business. + +There was no evil, he told me, that was not negotiable there; no evil +the old man knew had ever been taken away in despair from his shop. A +man might have to wait and come back again next day, and next day and +the day after, paying twenty francs each time, but the old man had the +addresses of all his clients and shrewdly knew their needs, and soon +the right two met and eagerly exchanged their commodities. +"Commodities" was the old man's terrible word, said with a gruesome +smack of his heavy lips, for he took a pride in his business and evils +to him were goods. + +I learned from him in ten minutes very much of human nature, more than +I have ever learned from any other man; I learned from him that a +man's own evil is to him the worst thing there is or ever could be, +and that an evil so unbalances all men's minds that they always seek +for extremes in that small grim shop. A woman that had no children had +exchanged with an impoverished half-maddened creature with twelve. On +one occasion a man had exchanged wisdom for folly. + +"Why on earth did he do that?" I said. + +"None of my business," the old man answered in his heavy indolent way. +He merely took his twenty francs from each and ratified the agreement +in the little room at the back opening out of the shop where his +clients do business. Apparently the man that had parted with wisdom +had left the shop upon the tips of his toes with a happy though +foolish expression all over his face, but the other went thoughtfully +away wearing a troubled and very puzzled look. Almost always it seemed +they did business in opposite evils. + +But the thing that puzzled me most in all my talks with that unwieldy +man, the thing that puzzles me still, is that none that had once done +business in that shop ever returned again; a man might come day after +day for many weeks, but once do business and he never returned; so +much the old man told me, but when I asked him why, he only muttered +that he did not know. + +It was to discover the wherefore of this strange thing and for no +other reason at all that I determined myself to do business sooner or +later in the little room at the back of that mysterious shop. I +determined to exchange some very trivial evil for some evil equally +slight, to seek for myself an advantage so very small as scarcely to +give Fate as it were a grip, for I deeply distrusted these bargains, +knowing well that man has never yet benefited by the marvellous and +that the more miraculous his advantage appears to be the more securely +and tightly do the gods or the witches catch him. In a few days more I +was going back to England and I was beginning to fear that I should be +sea-sick: this fear of sea-sickness, not the actual malady but only +the mere fear of it, I decided to exchange for a suitably little evil. +I did not know with whom I should be dealing, who in reality was the +head of the firm (one never does when shopping) but I decided that +neither Jew nor Devil could make very much on so small a bargain as +that. + +I told the old man my project, and he scoffed at the smallness of my +commodity trying to urge me to some darker bargain, but could not move +me from my purpose. And then he told me tales with a somewhat boastful +air of the big business, the great bargains that had passed through +his hands. A man had once run in there to try and exchange death, he +had swallowed poison by accident and had only twelve hours to live. +That sinister old man had been able to oblige him. A client was +willing to exchange the commodity. + +"But what did he give in exchange for death?" I said. + +"Life," said that grim old man with a furtive chuckle. + +"It must have been a horrible life," I said. + +"That was not my affair," the proprietor said, lazily rattling +together as he spoke a little pocketful of twenty-franc pieces. + +Strange business I watched in that shop for the next few days, the +exchange of odd commodities, and heard strange mutterings in corners +amongst couples who presently rose and went to the back room, the old +man following to ratify. + +Twice a day for a week I paid my twenty francs, watching life with its +great needs and its little needs morning and afternoon spread out +before me in all its wonderful variety. + +And one day I met a comfortable man with only a little need, he seemed +to have the very evil I wanted. He always feared the lift was going to +break. I knew too much of hydraulics to fear things as silly as that, +but it was not my business to cure his ridiculous fear. Very few words +were needed to convince him that mine was the evil for him, he never +crossed the sea, and I on the other hand could always walk upstairs, +and I also felt at the time, as many must feel in that shop, that so +absurd a fear could never trouble me. And yet at times it is almost +the curse of my life. When we both had signed the parchment in the +spidery back room and the old man had signed and ratified (for which +we had to pay him fifty francs each) I went back to my hotel, and +there I saw the deadly thing in the basement. They asked me if I would +go upstairs in the lift, from force of habit I risked it, and I held +my breath all the way and clenched my hands. Nothing will induce me to +try such a journey again. I would sooner go up to my room in a +balloon. And why? Because if a balloon goes wrong you have a chance, +it may spread out into a parachute after it has burst, it may catch in +a tree, a hundred and one things may happen, but if the lift falls +down its shaft you are done. As for sea-sickness I shall never be sick +again, I cannot tell you why except that I know that it is so. + +And the shop in which I made this remarkable bargain, the shop to +which none return when their business is done: I set out for it next +day. Blindfold I could have found my way to the unfashionable quarter +out of which a mean street runs, where you take the alley at the end, +whence runs the cul de sac where the queer shop stood. A shop with +pillars, fluted and painted red, stands on its near side, its other +neighbour is a low-class jeweller's with little silver brooches in the +window. In such incongruous company stood the shop with beams with its +walls painted green. + +In half an hour I found the cul de sac to which I had gone twice a day +for the last week, I found the shop with the ugly painted pillars and +the jeweller that sold brooches, but the green house with the three +beams was gone. + +Pulled down, you will say, although in a single night. That can never +be the answer to the mystery, for the house of the fluted pillars +painted on plaster and the low-class jeweller's shop with its silver +brooches (all of which I could identify one by one) were standing side +by side. + + + + + +A Story of Land and Sea + +It is written in the first Book of Wonder how Captain Shard of the bad +ship Desperate Lark, having looted the sea-coast city Bombasharna, +retired from active life; and resigning piracy to younger men, with +the good will of the North and South Atlantic, settled down with a +captured queen on his floating island. + +Sometimes he sank a ship for the sake of old times but he no longer +hovered along the trade-routes; and timid merchants watched for other +men. + +It was not age that caused him to leave his romantic profession; nor +unworthiness of its traditions, nor gun-shot wound, nor drink; but +grim necessity and force majeure. Five navies were after him. How he +gave them the slip one day in the Mediterranean, how he fought with +the Arabs, how a ship's broadside was heard in Lat. 23 N. Long. 4 E. +for the first time and the last, with other things unknown to +Admiralties, I shall proceed to tell. + +He had had his fling, had Shard, captain of pirates, and all his merry +men wore pearls in their ear-rings; and now the English fleet was +after him under full sail along the coast of Spain with a good North +wind behind them. They were not gaining much on Shard's rakish craft, +the bad ship Desperate Lark, yet they were closer than was to his +liking, and they interfered with business. + +For a day and a night they had chased him, when off Cape St. Vincent +at about six a.m. Shard took that step that decided his retirement +from active life, he turned for the Mediterranean. Had he held on +Southwards down the African coast it is doubtful whether in face of +the interference of England, Russia, France, Denmark and Spain, he +could have made piracy pay; but in turning for the Mediterranean he +took what we may call the penultimate step of his life which meant for +him settling down. There were three great courses of action invented +by Shard in his youth, upon which he pondered by day and brooded by +night, consolations in all his dangers, secret even from his men, +three means of escape as he hoped from any peril that might meet him +on the sea. One of these was the floating island that the Book of +Wonder tells of, another was so fantastic that we may doubt if even +the brilliant audacity of Shard could ever have found it practicable, +at least he never tried it so far as is known in that tavern by the +sea in which I glean my news, and the third he determined on carrying +out as he turned that morning for the Mediterranean. True he might yet +have practised piracy in spite of the step that he took, a little +later when the seas grew quiet, but that penultimate step was like +that small house in the country that the business man has his eye on, +like some snug investment put away for old age, there are certain +final courses in men's lives which after taking they never go back to +business. + +He turned then for the Mediterranean with the English fleet behind +him, and his men wondered. + +What madness was this,--muttered Bill the Boatswain in Old Frank's +only ear, with the French fleet waiting in the Gulf of Lyons and the +Spaniards all the way between Sardinia and Tunis: for they knew the +Spaniards' ways. And they made a deputation and waited upon Captain +Shard, all of them sober and wearing their costly clothes, and they +said that the Mediterranean was a trap, and all he said was that the +North wind should hold. And the crew said they were done. + +So they entered the Mediterranean and the English fleet came up and +closed the straits. And Shard went tacking along the Moroccan coast +with a dozen frigates behind him. And the North wind grew in strength. +And not till evening did he speak to his crew, and then he gathered +them all together except the man at the helm, and politely asked them +to come down to the hold. And there he showed them six immense steel +axles and a dozen low iron wheels of enormous width which none had +seen before; and he told his crew how all unknown to the world his +keel had been specially fitted for these same axles and wheels, and +how he meant soon to sail to the wide Atlantic again, though not by +the way of the straits. And when they heard the name of the Atlantic +all his merry men cheered, for they looked on the Atlantic as a wide +safe sea. + +And night came down and Captain Shard sent for his diver. With the sea +getting up it was hard work for the diver, but by midnight things were +done to Shard's satisfaction, and the diver said that of all the jobs +he had done--but finding no apt comparison, and being in need of a +drink, silence fell on him and soon sleep, and his comrades carried +him away to his hammock. All the next day the chase went on with the +English well in sight, for Shard had lost time overnight with his +wheels and axles, and the danger of meeting the Spaniards increased +every hour; and evening came when every minute seemed dangerous, yet +they still went tacking on towards the East where they knew the +Spaniards must be. + +And at last they sighted their topsails right ahead, and still Shard +went on. It was a close thing, but night was coming on, and the Union +Jack which he hoisted helped Shard with the Spaniards for the last few +anxious minutes, though it seemed to anger the English, but as Shard +said, "There's no pleasing everyone," and then the twilight shivered +into darkness. + +"Hard to starboard," said Captain Shard. + +The North wind which had risen all day was now blowing a gale. I do +not know what part of the coast Shard steered for, but Shard knew, for +the coasts of the world were to him what Margate is to some of us. + +At a place where the desert rolling up from mystery and from death, +yea, from the heart of Africa, emerges upon the sea, no less grand +than her, no less terrible, even there they sighted the land quite +close, almost in darkness. Shard ordered every man to the hinder part +of the ship and all the ballast too; and soon the Desperate Lark, her +prow a little high out of the water, doing her eighteen knots before +the wind, struck a sandy beach and shuddered, she heeled over a +little, then righted herself, and slowly headed into the interior of +Africa. + +The men would have given three cheers, but after the first Shard +silenced them and, steering the ship himself, he made them a short +speech while the broad wheels pounded slowly over the African sand, +doing barely five knots in a gale. The perils of the sea he said had +been greatly exaggerated. Ships had been sailing the sea for hundreds +of years and at sea you knew what to do, but on land this was +different. They were on land now and they were not to forget it. At +sea you might make as much noise as you pleased and no harm was done, +but on land anything might happen. One of the perils of the land that +he instanced was that of hanging. For every hundred men that they hung +on land, he said, not more than twenty would be hung at sea. The men +were to sleep at their guns. They would not go far that night; for the +risk of being wrecked at night was another danger peculiar to the +land, while at sea you might sail from set of sun till dawn: yet it +was essential to get out of sight of the sea for if anyone knew they +were there they'd have cavalry after them. And he had sent back +Smerdrak (a young lieutenant of pirates) to cover their tracks where +they came up from the sea. And the merry men vigorously nodded their +heads though they did not dare to cheer, and presently Smerdrak came +running up and they threw him a rope by the stern. And when they had +done fifteen knots they anchored, and Captain Shard gathered his men +about him and, standing by the land-wheel in the bows, under the large +and clear Algerian stars, he explained his system of steering. There +was not much to be said for it, he had with considerable ingenuity +detached and pivoted the portion of the keel that held the leading +axle and could move it by chains which were controlled from the +land-wheel, thus the front pair of wheels could be deflected at will, +but only very slightly, and they afterwards found that in a hundred +yards they could only turn their ship four yards from her course. But +let not captains of comfortable battleships, or owners even of yachts, +criticise too harshly a man who was not of their time and who knew not +modern contrivances; it should be remembered also that Shard was no +longer at sea. His steering may have been clumsy but he did what he +could. + +When the use and limitations of his land-wheel had been made clear to +his men, Shard bade them all turn in except those on watch. Long +before dawn he woke them and by the very first gleam of light they got +their ship under way, so that when those two fleets that had made so +sure of Shard closed in like a great crescent on the Algerian coast +there was no sign to see of the Desperate Lark either on sea or land; +and the flags of the Admiral's ship broke out into a hearty English +oath. + +The gale blew for three days and, Shard using more sail by daylight, +they scudded over the sands at little less than ten knots, though on +the report of rough water ahead (as the lookout man called rocks, low +hills or uneven surface before he adapted himself to his new +surroundings) the rate was much decreased. Those were long summer days +and Shard who was anxious while the wind held good to outpace the +rumour of his own appearance sailed for nineteen hours a day, lying to +at ten in the evening and hoisting sail again at three a.m. when it +first began to be light. + +In those three days he did five hundred miles; then the wind dropped +to a breeze though it still blew from the North, and for a week they +did no more than two knots an hour. The merry men began to murmur +then. Luck had distinctly favoured Shard at first for it sent him at +ten knots through the only populous districts well ahead of crowds +except those who chose to run, and the cavalry were away on a local +raid. As for the runners they soon dropped off when Shard pointed his +cannon though he did not dare to fire, up there near the coast; for +much as he jeered at the intelligence of the English and Spanish +Admirals in not suspecting his manoeuvre, the only one as he said that +was possible in the circumstances, yet he knew that cannon had an +obvious sound which would give his secret away to the weakest mind. +Certainly luck had befriended him, and when it did so no longer he +made out of the occasion all that could be made; for instance while +the wind held good he had never missed opportunities to revictual, if +he passed by a village its pigs and poultry were his, and whenever he +passed by water he filled his tanks to the brim, and now that he could +only do two knots he sailed all night with a man and a lantern before +him: thus in that week he did close on four hundred miles while +another man would have anchored at night and have missed five or six +hours out of the twenty-four. Yet his men murmured. Did he think the +wind would last for ever, they said. And Shard only smoked. It was +clear that he was thinking, and thinking hard. "But what is he +thinking about?" said Bill to Bad Jack. And Bad Jack answered: "He may +think as hard as he likes but thinking won't get us out of the Sahara +if this wind were to drop." + +And towards the end of that week Shard went to his chart-room and laid +a new course for his ship a little to the East and towards +cultivation. And one day towards evening they sighted a village, and +twilight came and the wind dropped altogether. Then the murmurs of the +merry men grew to oaths and nearly to mutiny. "Where were they now?" +they asked, and were they being treated like poor honest men? + +Shard quieted them by asking what they wished to do themselves and +when no one had any better plan than going to the villagers and saying +that they had been blown out of their course by a storm, Shard +unfolded his scheme to them. Long ago he had heard how they drove +carts with oxen in Africa, oxen were very numerous in these parts +wherever there was any cultivation, and for this reason when the wind +had begun to drop he had laid his course for the village: that night +the moment it was dark they were to drive off fifty yoke of oxen; by +midnight they must all be yoked to the bows and then away they would +go at a good round gallop. + +So fine a plan as this astonished the men and they all apologised for +their want of faith in Shard, shaking hands with him every one and +spitting on their hands before they did so in token of good will. + +The raid that night succeeded admirably, but ingenious as Shard was on +land, and a past-master at sea, yet it must be admitted that lack of +experience in this class of seamanship led him to make a mistake, a +slight one it is true, and one that a little practice would have +prevented altogether: the oxen could not gallop. Shard swore at them, +threatened them with his pistol, said they should have no food, and +all to no avail: that night and as long as they pulled the bad ship +Desperate Lark they did one knot an hour and no more. Shard's failures +like everything that came his way were used as stones in the edifice +of his future success, he went at once to his chart-room and worked +out all his calculations anew. + +The matter of the oxen's pace made pursuit impossible to avoid. Shard +therefore countermanded his order to his lieutenant to cover the +tracks in the sand, and the Desperate Lark plodded on into the Sahara +on her new course trusting to her guns. + +The village was not a large one and the little crowd that was sighted +astern next morning disappeared after the first shot from the cannon +in the stern. At first Shard made the oxen wear rough iron bits, +another of his mistakes, and strong bits too. "For if they run away," +he had said, "we might as well be driving before a gale and there's no +saying where we'd find ourselves," but after a day or two he found +that the bits were no good and, like the practical man he was, +immediately corrected his mistake. + +And now the crew sang merry songs all day bringing out mandolins and +clarionets and cheering Captain Shard. All were jolly except the +captain himself whose face was moody and perplexed; he alone expected +to hear more of those villagers; and the oxen were drinking up the +water every day, he alone feared that there was no more to be had, and +a very unpleasant fear that is when your ship is becalmed in a desert. +For over a week they went on like this doing ten knots a day and the +music and singing got on the captain's nerves, but he dared not tell +his men what the trouble was. And then one day the oxen drank up the +last of the water. And Lieutenant Smerdrak came and reported the fact. + +"Give them rum," said Shard, and he cursed the oxen. "What is good +enough for me," he said, "should be good enough for them," and he +swore that they should have rum. + +"Aye, aye, sir," said the young lieutenant of pirates. + +Shard should not be judged by the orders he gave that day, for nearly +a fortnight he had watched the doom that was coming slowly towards +him, discipline cut him off from anyone that might have shared his +fear and discussed it, and all the while he had had to navigate his +ship, which even at sea is an arduous responsibility. These things had +fretted the calm of that clear judgment that had once baffled five +navies. Therefore he cursed the oxen and ordered them rum, and +Smerdrak had said "Aye, aye, sir," and gone below. + +Towards sunset Shard was standing on the poop, thinking of death; it +would not come to him by thirst; mutiny first, he thought. The oxen +were refusing rum for the last time, and the men were beginning to eye +Captain Shard in a very ominous way, not muttering, but each man +looking at him with a sidelong look of the eye as though there were +only one thought among them all that had no need of words. A score of +geese like a long letter "V" were crossing the evening sky, they +slanted their necks and all went twisting downwards somewhere about +the horizon. Captain Shard rushed to his chart-room, and presently the +men came in at the door with Old Frank in front looking awkward and +twisting his cap in his hand. + +"What is it?" said Shard as though nothing were wrong. + +Then Old Frank said what he had come to say: "We want to know what you +be going to do." + +And the men nodded grimly. + +"Get water for the oxen," said Captain Shard, "as the swine won't have +rum, and they'll have to work for it, the lazy beasts. Up anchor!" + +And at the word water a look came into their faces like when some +wanderer suddenly thinks of home. + +"Water!" they said. + +"Why not?" said Captain Shard. And none of them ever knew that but for +those geese, that slanted their necks and suddenly twisted downwards, +they would have found no water that night nor ever after, and the +Sahara would have taken them as she has taken so many and shall take +so many more. All that night they followed their new course: at dawn +they found an oasis and the oxen drank. + +And here, on this green acre or so with its palm-trees and its well, +beleaguered by thousands of miles of desert and holding out through +the ages, here they decided to stay: for those who have been without +water for a while in one of Africa's deserts come to have for that +simple fluid such a regard as you, O reader, might not easily credit. +And here each man chose a site where he would build his hut, and +settle down, and marry perhaps, and even forget the sea; when Captain +Shard having filled his tanks and barrels peremptorily ordered them to +weigh anchor. There was much dissatisfaction, even some grumbling, but +when a man has twice saved his fellows from death by the sheer +freshness of his mind they come to have a respect for his judgment +that is not shaken by trifles. It must be remembered that in the +affair of the dropping of the wind and again when they ran out of +water these men were at their wits' end: so was Shard on the last +occasion, but that they did not know. All this Shard knew, and he +chose this occasion to strengthen the reputation that he had in the +minds of the men of that bad ship by explaining to them his motives, +which usually he kept secret. The oasis he said must be a port of call +for all the travellers within hundreds of miles: how many men did you +see gathered together in any part of the world where there was a drop +of whiskey to be had! And water here was rarer than whiskey in decent +countries and, such was the peculiarity of the Arabs, even more +precious. Another thing he pointed out to them, the Arabs were a +singularly inquisitive people and if they came upon a ship in the +desert they would probably talk about it; and the world having a +wickedly malicious tongue would never construe in its proper light +their difference with the English and Spanish fleets, but would merely +side with the strong against the weak. + +And the men sighed, and sang the capstan song and hoisted the anchor +and yoked the oxen up, and away they went doing their steady knot, +which nothing could increase. It may be thought strange that with all +sail furled in dead calm and while the oxen rested they should have +cast anchor at all. But custom is not easily overcome and long +survives its use. Rather enquire how many such useless customs we +ourselves preserve: the flaps for instance to pull up the tops of +hunting-boots though the tops no longer pull up, the bows on our +evening shoes that neither tie nor untie. They said they felt safer +that way and there was an end of it. + +Shard lay a course of South by West and they did ten knots that day, +the next day they did seven or eight and Shard hove to. Here he +intended to stop, they had huge supplies of fodder on board for the +oxen, for his men he had a pig or so, plenty of poultry, several sacks +of biscuits and ninety-eight oxen (for two were already eaten), and +they were only twenty miles from water. Here he said they would stay +till folks forgot their past, someone would invent something or some +new thing would turn up to take folks' minds off them and the ships he +had sunk: he forgot that there are men who are well paid to remember. + +Half way between him and the oasis he established a little depot where +he buried his water-barrels. As soon as a barrel was empty he sent +half a dozen men to roll it by turns to the depot. This they would do +at night, keeping hid by day, and next night they would push on to the +oasis, fill the barrel and roll it back. Thus only ten miles away he +soon had a store of water, unknown to the thirstiest native of Africa, +from which he could safely replenish his tanks at will. He allowed his +men to sing and even within reason to light fires. Those were jolly +nights while the rum held out; sometimes they saw gazelles watching +them curiously, sometimes a lion went by over the sand, the sound of +his roar added to their sense of the security of their ship; all round +them level, immense lay the Sahara: "This is better than an English +prison," said Captain Shard. + +And still the dead calm lasted, not even the sand whispered at night +to little winds; and when the rum gave out and it looked like trouble, +Shard reminded them what little use it had been to them when it was +all they had and the oxen wouldn't look at it. + +And the days wore on with singing, and even dancing at times, and at +nights round a cautious fire in a hollow of sand with only one man on +watch they told tales of the sea. It was all a relief after arduous +watches and sleeping by the guns, a rest to strained nerves and eyes; +and all agreed, for all that they missed their rum, that the best +place for a ship like theirs was the land. + +This was in Latitude 23 North, Longitude 4 East, where, as I have +said, a ship's broadside was heard for the first time and the last. It +happened this way. + +They had been there several weeks and had eaten perhaps ten or a dozen +oxen and all that while there had been no breath of wind and they had +seen no one: when one morning about two bells when the crew were at +breakfast the lookout man reported cavalry on the port side. Shard who +had already surrounded his ship with sharpened stakes ordered all his +men on board, the young trumpeter who prided himself on having picked +up the ways of the land, sounded "Prepare to receive cavalry". Shard +sent a few men below with pikes to the lower port-holes, two more +aloft with muskets, the rest to the guns, he changed the "grape" or +"canister" with which the guns were loaded in case of surprise, for +shot, cleared the decks, drew in ladders, and before the cavalry came +within range everything was ready for them. The oxen were always yoked +in order that Shard could manoeuvre his ship at a moment's notice. + +When first sighted the cavalry were trotting but they were coming on +now at a slow canter. Arabs in white robes on good horses. Shard +estimated that there were two or three hundred of them. At sixty yards +Shard opened with one gun, he had had the distance measured, but had +never practised for fear of being heard at the oasis: the shot went +high. The next one fell short and ricochetted over the Arabs' heads. +Shard had the range then and by the time the ten remaining guns of his +broadside were given the same elevation as that of his second gun the +Arabs had come to the spot where the last shot pitched. The broadside +hit the horses, mostly low, and ricochetted on amongst them; one +cannon-ball striking a rock at the horses' feet shattered it and sent +fragments flying amongst the Arabs with the peculiar scream of things +set free by projectiles from their motionless harmless state, and the +cannon-ball went on with them with a great howl, this shot alone +killed three men. + +"Very satisfactory," said Shard rubbing his chin. "Load with grape," +he added sharply. + +The broadside did not stop the Arabs nor even reduce their speed but +they crowded in closer together as though for company in their time of +danger, which they should not have done. They were four hundred yards +off now, three hundred and fifty; and then the muskets began, for the +two men in the crow's-nest had thirty loaded muskets besides a few +pistols, the muskets all stood round them leaning against the rail; +they picked them up and fired them one by one. Every shot told, but +still the Arabs came on. They were galloping now. It took some time to +load the guns in those days. Three hundred yards, two hundred and +fifty, men dropping all the way, two hundred yards; Old Frank for all +his one ear had terrible eyes; it was pistols now, they had fired all +their muskets; a hundred and fifty; Shard had marked the fifties with +little white stones. Old Frank and Bad Jack up aloft felt pretty +uneasy when they saw the Arabs had come to that little white stone, +they both missed their shots. + +"All ready?" said Captain Shard. + +"Aye, aye, sir," said Smerdrak. + +"Right," said Captain Shard raising a finger. + +A hundred and fifty yards is a bad range at which to be caught by +grape (or "case" as we call it now), the gunners can hardly miss and +the charge has time to spread. Shard estimated afterwards that he got +thirty Arabs by that broadside alone and as many horses. + +There were close on two hundred of them still on their horses, yet the +broadside of grape had unsettled them, they surged round the ship but +seemed doubtful what to do. They carried swords and scimitars in their +hands, though most had strange long muskets slung behind them, a few +unslung them and began firing wildly. They could not reach Shard's +merry men with their swords. Had it not been for that broadside that +took them when it did they might have climbed up from their horses and +carried the bad ship by sheer force of numbers, but they would have +had to have been very steady, and the broadside spoiled all that. +Their best course was to have concentrated all their efforts in +setting fire to the ship but this they did not attempt. Part of them +swarmed all round the ship brandishing their swords and looking vainly +for an easy entrance; perhaps they expected a door, they were not +sea-faring people; but their leaders were evidently set on driving off +the oxen not dreaming that the Desperate Lark had other means of +travelling. And this to some extent they succeeded in doing. Thirty +they drove off, cutting the traces, twenty they killed on the spot +with their scimitars though the bow gun caught them twice as they did +their work, and ten more were unluckily killed by Shard's bow gun. +Before they could fire a third time from the bows they all galloped +away, firing back at the oxen with their muskets and killing three +more, and what troubled Shard more than the loss of his oxen was the +way that they manoeuvred, galloping off just when the bow gun was +ready and riding off by the port bow where the broadside could not get +them, which seemed to him to show more knowledge of guns than they +could have learned on that bright morning. What, thought Shard to +himself, if they should bring big guns against the Desperate Lark! And +the mere thought of it made him rail at Fate. But the merry men all +cheered when they rode away. Shard had only twenty-two oxen left, and +then a score or so of the Arabs dismounted while the rest rode further +on leading their horses. And the dismounted men lay down on the port +bow behind some rocks two hundred yards away and began to shoot at the +oxen. Shard had just enough of them left to manoeuvre his ship with an +effort and he turned his ship a few points to the starboard so as to +get a broadside at the rocks. But grape was of no use here as the only +way he could get an Arab was by hitting one of the rocks with shot +behind which an Arab was lying, and the rocks were not easy to hit +except by chance, and as often as he manoeuvred his ship the Arabs +changed their ground. This went on all day while the mounted Arabs +hovered out of range watching what Shard would do; and all the while +the oxen were growing fewer, so good a mark were they, until only ten +were left, and the ship could manoeuvre no longer. But then they all +rode off. + +The merry men were delighted, they calculated that one way and another +they had unhorsed a hundred Arabs and on board there had been no more +than one man wounded: Bad Jack had been hit in the wrist; probably by +a bullet meant for the men at the guns, for the Arabs were firing +high. They had captured a horse and had found quaint weapons on the +bodies of the dead Arabs and an interesting kind of tobacco. It was +evening now and they talked over the fight, made jokes about their +luckier shots, smoked their new tobacco and sang; altogether it was +the jolliest evening they'd had. But Shard alone on the quarter-deck +paced to and fro pondering, brooding and wondering. He had chopped off +Bad Jack's wounded hand and given him a hook out of store, for captain +does doctor upon these occasions and Shard, who was ready for most +things, kept half a dozen or so of neat new limbs, and of course a +chopper. Bad Jack had gone below swearing a little and said he'd lie +down for a bit, the men were smoking and singing on the sand, and +Shard was there alone. The thought that troubled Shard was: what would +the Arabs do? They did not look like men to go away for nothing. And +at back of all his thoughts was one that reiterated guns, guns, guns. +He argued with himself that they could not drag them all that way on +the sand, that the Desperate Lark was not worth it, that they had +given it up. Yet he knew in his heart that that was what they would +do. He knew there were fortified towns in Africa, and as for its being +worth it, he knew that there was no pleasant thing left now to those +defeated men except revenge, and if the Desperate Lark had come over +the sand why not guns? He knew that the ship could never hold out +against guns and cavalry, a week perhaps, two weeks, even three: what +difference did it make how long it was, and the men sang: + + Away we go, Oho, Oho, Oho, + A drop of rum for you and me + And the world's as round as the letter O + And round it runs the sea. + +A melancholy settled down on Shard. + +About sunset Lieutenant Smerdrak came up for orders. Shard ordered a +trench to be dug along the port side of the ship. The men wanted to +sing and grumbled at having to dig, especially as Shard never +mentioned his fear of guns, but he fingered his pistols and in the end +Shard had his way. No one on board could shoot like Captain Shard. +That is often the way with captains of pirate ships, it is a difficult +position to hold. Discipline is essential to those that have the right +to fly the skull-and-cross-bones, and Shard was the man to enforce it. +It was starlight by the time the trench was dug to the captain's +satisfaction and the men that it was to protect when the worst came to +the worst swore all the time as they dug. And when it was finished +they clamoured to make a feast on some of the killed oxen, and this +Shard let them do. And they lit a huge fire for the first time, +burning abundant scrub, they thinking that Arabs daren't return, Shard +knowing that concealment was now useless. All that night they feasted +and sang, and Shard sat up in his chart-room making his plans. + +When morning came they rigged up the cutter as they called the +captured horse and told off her crew. As there were only two men that +could ride at all these became the crew of the cutter. Spanish Dick +and Bill the Boatswain were the two. + +Shard's orders were that turn and turn about they should take command +of the cutter and cruise about five miles off to the North East all +the day but at night they were to come in. And they fitted the horse +up with a flagstaff in front of the saddle so that they could signal +from her, and carried an anchor behind for fear she should run away. + +And as soon as Spanish Dick had ridden off Shard sent some men to roll +all the barrels back from the depot where they were buried in the +sand, with orders to watch the cutter all the time and, if she +signalled, to return as fast as they could. + +They buried the Arabs that day, removing their water-bottles and any +provisions they had, and that night they got all the water-barrels in, +and for days nothing happened. One event of extraordinary importance +did indeed occur, the wind got up one day, but it was due South, and +as the oasis lay to the North of them and beyond that they might pick +up the camel track Shard decided to stay where he was. If it had +looked to him like lasting Shard might have hoisted sail but it it +dropped at evening as he knew it would, and in any case it was not the +wind he wanted. And more days went by, two weeks without a breeze. The +dead oxen would not keep and they had had to kill three more, there +were only seven left now. + +Never before had the men been so long without rum. And Captain Shard +had doubled the watch besides making two more men sleep at the guns. +They had tired of their simple games, and most of their songs, and +their tales that were never true were no longer new. And then one day +the monotony of the desert came down upon them. + +There is a fascination in the Sahara, a day there is delightful, a +week is pleasant, a fortnight is a matter of opinion, but it was +running into months. The men were perfectly polite but the boatswain +wanted to know when Shard thought of moving on. It was an unreasonable +question to ask of the captain of any ship in a dead calm in a desert, +but Shard said he would set a course and let him know in a day or two. +And a day or two went by over the monotony of the Sahara, who for +monotony is unequalled by all the parts of the earth. Great marshes +cannot equal it, nor plains of grass nor the sea, the Sahara alone +lies unaltered by the seasons, she has no altering surface, no flowers +to fade or grow, year in year out she is changeless for hundreds and +hundreds of miles. And the boatswain came again and took off his cap +and asked Captain Shard to be so kind as to tell them about his new +course. Shard said he meant to stay until they had eaten three more of +the oxen as they could only take three of them in the hold, there were +only six left now. But what if there was no wind, the boatswain said. +And at that moment the faintest breeze from the North ruffled the +boatswain's forelock as he stood with his cap in his hand. + +"Don't talk about the wind to _me_," said Captain Shard: and Bill was +a little frightened for Shard's mother had been a gipsy. + +But it was only a breeze astray, a trick of the Sahara. And another +week went by and they ate two more oxen. + +They obeyed Captain Shard ostentatiously now but they wore ominous +looks. Bill came again and Shard answered him in Romany. + +Things were like this one hot Sahara morning when the cutter +signalled. The lookout man told Shard and Shard read the message, +"Cavalry astern" it read, and then a little later she signalled, "With +guns." + +"Ah," said Captain Shard. + +One ray of hope Shard had; the flags on the cutter fluttered. For the +first time for five weeks a light breeze blew from the North, very +light, you hardly felt it. Spanish Dick rode in and anchored his horse +to starboard and the cavalry came on slowly from the port. + +Not till the afternoon did they come in sight, and all the while that +little breeze was blowing. + +"One knot," said Shard at noon. "Two knots," he said at six bells and +still it grew and the Arabs trotted nearer. By five o'clock the merry +men of the bad ship Desperate Lark could make out twelve long +old-fashioned guns on low wheeled carts dragged by horses and what +looked like lighter guns carried on camels. The wind was blowing a +little stronger now. "Shall we hoist sail, sir?" said Bill. + +"Not yet," said Shard. + +By six o'clock the Arabs were just outside the range of cannon and +there they halted. Then followed an anxious hour or so, but the Arabs +came no nearer. They evidently meant to wait till dark to bring their +guns up. Probably they intended to dig a gun epaulment from which they +could safely pound away at the ship. + +"We could do three knots," said Shard half to himself as he was +walking up and down his quarter-deck with very fast short paces. And +then the sun set and they heard the Arabs praying and Shard's merry +men cursed at the top of their voices to show that they were as good +men as they. + +The Arabs had come no nearer, waiting for night. They did not know how +Shard was longing for it too, he was gritting his teeth and sighing +for it, he even would have prayed, but that he feared that it might +remind Heaven of him and his merry men. + +Night came and the stars. "Hoist sail," said Shard. The men sprang to +their places, they had had enough of that silent lonely spot. They +took the oxen on board and let the great sails down, and like a lover +coming from over sea, long dreamed of, long expected, like a lost +friend seen again after many years, the North wind came into the +pirates' sails. And before Shard could stop it a ringing English cheer +went away to the wondering Arabs. + +They started off at three knots and soon they might have done four but +Shard would not risk it at night. All night the wind held good, and +doing three knots from ten to four they were far out of sight of the +Arabs when daylight came. And then Shard hoisted more sail and they +did four knots and by eight bells they were doing four and a half. The +spirits of those volatile men rose high, and discipline became +perfect. So long as there was wind in the sails and water in the tanks +Captain Shard felt safe at least from mutiny. Great men can only be +overthrown while their fortunes are at their lowest. Having failed to +depose Shard when his plans were open to criticism and he himself +scarce knew what to do next it was hardly likely they could do it now; +and whatever we think of his past and his way of living we cannot deny +that Shard was among the great men of the world. + +Of defeat by the Arabs he did not feel so sure. It was useless to try +to cover his tracks even if he had had time, the Arab cavalry could +have picked them up anywhere. And he was afraid of their camels with +those light guns on board, he had heard they could do seven knots and +keep it up most of the day and if as much as one shot struck the +mainmast... and Shard taking his mind off useless fears worked out on +his chart when the Arabs were likely to overtake them. He told his men +that the wind would hold good for a week, and, gipsy or no, he +certainly knew as much about the wind as is good for a sailor to know. + +Alone in his chart-room he worked it out like this, mark two hours to +the good for surprise and finding the tracks and delay in starting, +say three hours if the guns were mounted in their epaulments, then the +Arabs should start at seven. Supposing the camels go twelve hours a +day at seven knots they would do eighty-four knots a day, while Shard +doing three knots from ten to four, and four knots the rest of the +time, was doing ninety and actually gaining. But when it came to it he +wouldn't risk more than two knots at night while the enemy were out of +sight, for he rightly regarded anything more than that as dangerous +when sailing on land at night, so he too did eighty-four knots a day. +It was a pretty race. I have not troubled to see if Shard added up his +figures wrongly or if he under-rated the pace of camels, but whatever +it was the Arabs gained slightly, for on the fourth day Spanish Jack, +five knots astern on what they called the cutter, sighted the camels a +very long way off and signalled the fact to Shard. They had left their +cavalry behind as Shard supposed they would. The wind held good, they +had still two oxen left and could always eat their "cutter", and they +had a fair, though not ample, supply of water, but the appearance of +the Arabs was a blow to Shard for it showed him that there was no +getting away from them, and of all things he dreaded guns. He made +light of it to the men: said they would sink the lot before they had +been in action half an hour: yet he feared that once the guns came up +it was only a question of time before his rigging was cut or his +steering gear disabled. + +One point the Desperate Lark scored over the Arabs and a very good one +too, darkness fell just before they could have sighted her and now +Shard used the lantern ahead as he dared not do on the first night +when the Arabs were close, and with the help of it managed to do three +knots. The Arabs encamped in the evening and the Desperate Lark gained +twenty knots. But the next evening they appeared again and this time +they saw the sails of the Desperate Lark. + +On the sixth day they were close. On the seventh they were closer. And +then, a line of verdure across their bows, Shard saw the Niger River. + +Whether he knew that for a thousand miles it rolled its course through +forest, whether he even knew that it was there at all; what his plans +were, or whether he lived from day to day like a man whose days are +numbered he never told his men. Nor can I get an indication on this +point from the talk that I hear from sailors in their cups in a +certain tavern I know of. His face was expressionless, his mouth shut, +and he held his ship to her course. That evening they were up to the +edge of the tree trunks and the Arabs camped and waited ten knots +astern and the wind had sunk a little. + +There Shard anchored a little before sunset and landed at once. At +first he explored the forest a little on foot. Then he sent for +Spanish Dick. They had slung the cutter on board some days ago when +they found she could not keep up. Shard could not ride but he sent for +Spanish Dick and told him he must take him as a passenger. So Spanish +Dick slung him in front of the saddle "before the mast" as Shard +called it, for they still carried a mast on the front of the saddle, +and away they galloped together. "Rough weather," said Shard, but he +surveyed the forest as he went and the long and short of it was he +found a place where the forest was less than half a mile thick and the +Desperate Lark might get through: but twenty trees must be cut. Shard +marked the trees himself, sent Spanish Dick right back to watch the +Arabs and turned the whole of his crew on to those twenty trees. It +was a frightful risk, the Desperate Lark was empty, with an enemy no +more than ten knots astern, but it was a moment for bold measures and +Shard took the chance of being left without his ship in the heart of +Africa in the hope of being repaid by escaping altogether. + +The men worked all night on those twenty trees, those that had no axes +bored with bradawls and blasted, and then relieved those that had. + +Shard was indefatigable, he went from tree to tree showing exactly +what way every one was to fall, and what was to be done with them when +they were down. Some had to be cut down because their branches would +get in the way of the masts, others because their trunks would be in +the way of the wheels; in the case of the last the stumps had to be +made smooth and low with saws and perhaps a bit of the trunk sawn off +and rolled away. This was the hardest work they had. And they were all +large trees, on the other hand had they been small there would have +been many more of them and they could not have sailed in and out, +sometimes for hundreds of yards, without cutting any at all: and all +this Shard calculated on doing if only there was time. + +The light before dawn came and it looked as if they would never do it +at all. And then dawn came and it was all done but one tree, the hard +part of the work had all been done in the night and a sort of final +rush cleared everything up except that one huge tree. And then the +cutter signalled the Arabs were moving. At dawn they had prayed, and +now they had struck their camp. Shard at once ordered all his men to +the ship except ten whom he left at the tree, they had some way to go +and the Arabs had been moving some ten minutes before they got there. +Shard took in the cutter which wasted five minutes, hoisted sail +short-handed and that took five minutes more, and slowly got under +way. + +The wind was dropping still and by the time the Desperate Lark had +come to the edge of that part of the forest through which Shard had +laid his course the Arabs were no more than five knots away. He had +sailed East half a mile, which he ought to have done overnight so as +to be ready, but he could not spare time or thought or men away from +those twenty trees. Then Shard turned into the forest and the Arabs +were dead astern. They hurried when they saw the Desperate Lark enter +the forest. + +"Doing ten knots," said Shard as he watched them from the deck. The +Desperate Lark was doing no more than a knot and a half for the wind +was weak under the lee of the trees. Yet all went well for a while. +The big tree had just come down some way ahead, and the ten men were +sawing bits off the trunk. + +And then Shard saw a branch that he had not marked on the chart, it +would just catch the top of the mainmast. He anchored at once and sent +a hand aloft who sawed it half way through and did the rest with a +pistol, and now the Arabs were only three knots astern. For a quarter +of a mile Shard steered them through the forest till they came to the +ten men and that bad big tree, another foot had yet to come off one +corner of the stump for the wheels had to pass over it. Shard turned +all hands on to the stump and it was then that the Arabs came within +shot. But they had to unpack their gun. And before they had it mounted +Shard was away. If they had charged things might have been different. +When they saw the Desperate Lark under way again the Arabs came on to +within three hundred yards and there they mounted two guns. Shard +watched them along his stern gun but would not fire. They were six +hundred yards away before the Arabs could fire and then they fired too +soon and both guns missed. And Shard and his merry men saw clear water +only ten fathoms ahead. Then Shard loaded his stern gun with canister +instead of shot and at the same moment the Arabs charged on their +camels; they came galloping down through the forest waving long +lances. Shard left the steering to Smerdrak and stood by the stern +gun, the Arabs were within fifty yards and still Shard did not fire; +he had most of his men in the stern with muskets beside him. Those +lances carried on camels were altogether different from swords in the +hands of horsemen, they could reach the men on deck. The men could see +the horrible barbs on the lanceheads, they were almost at their faces +when Shard fired, and at the same moment the Desperate Lark with her +dry and suncracked keel in air on the high bank of the Niger fell +forward like a diver. The gun went off through the tree-tops, a wave +came over the bows and swept the stern, the Desperate Lark wriggled +and righted herself, she was back in her element. + +The merry men looked at the wet decks and at their dripping +clothes. "Water," they said almost wonderingly. + +The Arabs followed a little way through the forest but when they saw +that they had to face a broadside instead of one stern gun and +perceived that a ship afloat is less vulnerable to cavalry even than +when on shore, they abandoned ideas of revenge, and comforted +themselves with a text out of their sacred book which tells how in +other days and other places our enemies shall suffer even as we +desire. + +For a thousand miles with the flow of the Niger and the help of +occasional winds, the Desperate Lark moved seawards. At first he +sweeps East a little and then Southwards, till you come to Akassa and +the open sea. + +I will not tell you how they caught fish and ducks, raided a village +here and there and at last came to Akassa, for I have said much +already of Captain Shard. Imagine them drawing nearer and nearer the +sea, bad men all, and yet with a feeling for something where we feel +for our king, our country or our home, a feeling for something that +burned in them not less ardently than our feelings in us, and that +something the sea. Imagine them nearing it till sea birds appeared and +they fancied they felt sea breezes and all sang songs again that they +had not sung for weeks. Imagine them heaving at last on the salt +Atlantic again. + +I have said much already of Captain Shard and I fear lest I shall +weary you, O my reader, if I tell you any more of so bad a man. I too +at the top of a tower all alone am weary. + +And yet it is right that such a tale should be told. A journey almost +due South from near Algiers to Akassa in a ship that we should call no +more than a yacht. Let it be a stimulus to younger men. + + + Guarantee To The Reader + +Since writing down for your benefit, O my reader, all this long tale +that I heard in the tavern by the sea I have travelled in Algeria and +Tunisia as well as in the Desert. Much that I saw in those countries +seems to throw doubt on the tale that the sailor told me. To begin +with the Desert does not come within hundreds of miles of the coast +and there are more mountains to cross than you would suppose, the +Atlas mountains in particular. It is just possible Shard might have +got through by El Cantara, following the camel road which is many +centuries old; or he may have gone by Algiers and Bou Saada and +through the mountain pass El Finita Dem, though that is a bad enough +way for camels to go (let alone bullocks with a ship) for which reason +the Arabs call it Finita Dem--the Path of Blood. + +I should not have ventured to give this story the publicity of print +had the sailor been sober when he told it, for fear that he I should +have deceived you, O my reader; but this was never the case with him +as I took good care to ensure: "in vino veritas" is a sound old +proverb, and I never had cause to doubt his word unless that proverb +lies. + +If it should prove that he has deceived me, let it pass; but if he has +been the means of deceiving you there are little things about him that +I know, the common gossip of that ancient tavern whose leaded +bottle-glass windows watch the sea, which I will tell at once to every +judge of my acquaintance, and it will be a pretty race to see which of +them will hang him. + +Meanwhile, O my reader, believe the story, resting assured that if you +are taken in the thing shall be a matter for the hangman. + + + + + +A Tale of the Equator + +He who is Sultan so remote to the East that his dominions were deemed +fabulous in Babylon, whose name is a by-word for distance today in the +streets of Bagdad, whose capital bearded travellers invoke by name in +the gate at evening to gather hearers to their tales when the smoke of +tobacco arises, dice rattle and taverns shine; even he in that very +city made mandate, and said: "Let there be brought hither all my +learned men that they may come before me and rejoice my heart with +learning." + +Men ran and clarions sounded, and it was so that there came before the +Sultan all of his learned men. And many were found wanting. But of +those that were able to say acceptable things, ever after to be named +The Fortunate, one said that to the South of the Earth lay a Land-- +said Land was crowned with lotus--where it was summer in our winter +days and where it was winter in summer. + +And when the Sultan of those most distant lands knew that the Creator +of All had contrived a device so vastly to his delight his merriment +knew no bounds. On a sudden he spake and said, and this was the gist +of his saying, that upon that line of boundary or limit that divided +the North from the South a palace be made, where in the Northern +courts should summer be, while in the South was winter; so should he +move from court to court according to his mood, and dally with the +summer in the morning and spend the noon with snow. So the Sultan's +poets were sent for and bade to tell of that city, foreseeing its +splendour far away to the South and in the future of time; and some +were found fortunate. And of those that were found fortunate and were +crowned with flowers none earned more easily the Sultan's smile (on +which long days depended) than he that foreseeing the city spake of it +thus: + +"In seven years and seven days, O Prop of Heaven, shall thy builders +build it, thy palace that is neither North nor South, where neither +summer nor winter is sole lord of the hours. White I see it, very +vast, as a city, very fair, as a woman, Earth's wonder, with many +windows, with thy princesses peering out at twilight; yea, I behold +the bliss of the gold balconies, and hear a rustling down long +galleries and the doves' coo upon its sculptured eaves. O Prop of +Heaven, would that so fair a city were built by thine ancient sires, +the children of the sun, that so might all men see it even today, and +not the poets only, whose vision sees it so far away to the South and +in the future of time. + +"O King of the Years, it shall stand midmost on that line that +divideth equally the North from the South and that parteth the seasons +asunder as with a screen. On the Northern side when summer is in the +North thy silken guards shall pace by dazzling walls while thy +spearsmen clad in furs go round the South. But at the hour of noon in +the midmost day of the year thy chamberlain shall go down from his +high place and into the midmost court, and men with trumpets shall go +down behind him, and he shall utter a great cry at noon, and the men +with trumpets shall cause their trumpets to blare, and the spearsmen +clad in furs shall march to the North and thy silken guard shall take +their place in the South, and summer shall leave the North and go to +the South, and all the swallows shall rise and follow after. And alone +in thine inner courts shall no change be, for they shall lie narrowly +along that line that parteth the seasons in sunder and divideth the +North from the South, and thy long gardens shall lie under them. + +"And in thy gardens shall spring always be, for spring lies ever at +the marge of summer; and autumn also shall always tint thy gardens, +for autumn always flares at winter's edge, and those gardens shall lie +apart between winter and summer. And there shall be orchards in thy +garden, too, with all the burden of autumn on their boughs and all the +blossom of spring. + +"Yea, I behold this palace, for we see future things; I see its white +wall shine in the huge glare of midsummer, and the lizards lying along +it motionless in the sun, and men asleep in the noonday, and the +butterflies floating by, and birds of radiant plumage chasing +marvellous moths; far off the forest and great orchids glorying there, +and iridescent insects dancing round in the light. I see the wall upon +the other side; the snow has come upon the battlements, the icicles +have fringed them like frozen beards, a wild wind blowing out of +lonely places and crying to the cold fields as it blows has sent the +snowdrifts higher than the buttresses; they that look out through +windows on that side of thy palace see the wild geese flying low and +all the birds of the winter, going by swift in packs beat low by the +bitter wind, and the clouds above them are black, for it is midwinter +there; while in thine other courts the fountains tinkle, falling on +marble warmed by the fire of the summer sun. + +"Such, O King of the Years, shall thy palace be, and its name shall be +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder; and thy wisdom shall bid thine +architects build at once, that all may see what as yet the poets see +only, and that prophecy be fulfilled." + +And when the poet ceased the Sultan spake, and said, as all men +hearkened with bent heads: + +"It will be unnecessary for my builders to build this palace, +Erlathdronion, Earth's Wonder, for in hearing thee we have drunk +already its pleasures." + +And the poet went forth from the Presence and dreamed a new thing. + + . . . . . + + + + + +A Narrow Escape + +It was underground. + +In that dank cavern down below Belgrave Square the walls were +dripping. But what was that to the magician? It was secrecy that he +needed, not dryness. There he pondered upon the trend of events, +shaped destinies and concocted magical brews. + +For the last few years the serenity of his ponderings had been +disturbed by the noise of the motor-bus; while to his keen ears there +came the earthquake-rumble, far off, of the train in the tube, going +down Sloane Street; and when he heard of the world above his head was +not to its credit. + +He decided one evening over his evil pipe, down there in his dank +chamber, that London had lived long enough, had abused its +opportunities, had gone too far, in fine, with its civilisation. And +so he decided to wreck it. + +Therefore he beckoned up his acolyte from the weedy end of the cavern, +and, "Bring me," he said, "the heart of the toad that dwelleth in +Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." The acolyte slipped away by +the hidden door, leaving that grim old man with his frightful pipe, +and whither he went who knows but the gipsy people, or by what path he +returned; but within a year he stood in the cavern again, slipping +secretly in by the trap while the old man smoked, and he brought with +him a little fleshy thing that rotted in a casket of pure gold. + +"What is it?" the old man croaked. + +"It is," said the acolyte, "the heart of the toad that dwelt once +in Arabia and by the mountains of Bethany." + +The old man's crooked fingers closed on it, and he blessed the acolyte +with his rasping voice and claw-like hand uplifted; the motor-bus +rumbled above on its endless journey; far off the train shook Sloane +Street. + +"Come," said the old magician, "it is time." And there and then they +left the weedy cavern, the acolyte carrying cauldron, gold poker and +all things needful, and went abroad in the light. And very wonderful +the old man looked in his silks. + +Their goal was the outskirts of London; the old man strode in front +and the acolyte ran behind him, and there was something magical in the +old man's stride alone, without his wonderful dress, the cauldron and +wand, the hurrying acolyte and the small gold poker. + +Little boys jeered till they caught the old man's eye. So there went +on through London this strange procession of two, too swift for any to +follow. Things seemed worse up there than they did in the cavern, and +the further they got on their way towards London's outskirts the worse +London got. "It is time," said the old man, "surely." + +And so they came at last to London's edge and a small hill watching it +with a mournful look. It was so mean that the acolyte longed for the +cavern, dank though it was and full of terrible sayings that the old +man said when he slept. + +They climbed the hill and put the cauldron down, and put there in the +necessary things, and lit a fire of herbs that no chemist will sell +nor decent gardener grow, and stirred the cauldron with the golden +poker. The magician retired a little apart and muttered, then he +strode back to the cauldron and, all being ready, suddenly opened the +casket and let the fleshy thing fall in to boil. + +Then he made spells, then he flung up his arms; the fumes from the +cauldron entering in at his mind he said raging things that he had not +known before and runes that were dreadful (the acolyte screamed); +there he cursed London from fog to loam-pit, from zenith to the abyss, +motor-bus, factory, shop, parliament, people. "Let them all perish," +he said, "and London pass away, tram lines and bricks and pavement, +the usurpers too long of the fields, let them all pass away and the +wild hares come back, blackberry and briar-rose." + +"Let it pass," he said, "pass now, pass utterly." + +In the momentary silence the old man coughed, then waited with eager +eyes; and the long long hum of London hummed as it always has since +first the reed-huts were set up by the river, changing its note at +times but always humming, louder now than it was in years gone by, but +humming night and day though its voice be cracked with age; so it +hummed on. + +And the old man turned him round to his trembling acolyte and terribly +said as he sank into the earth: "YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT ME THE HEART +OF THE TOAD THAT DWELLETH IN ARABIA NOR BY THE MOUNTAINS OF BETHANY!" + + + + + +The Watch-tower + +I sat one April in Provence on a small hill above an ancient town +that Goth and Vandal as yet have forborne to "bring up to date." + +On the hill was an old worn castle with a watch-tower, and a well with +narrow steps and water in it still. + +The watch-tower, staring South with neglected windows, faced a broad +valley full of the pleasant twilight and the hum of evening things: it +saw the fires of wanderers blink from the hills, beyond them the long +forest black with pines, one star appearing, and darkness settling +slowly down on Var. + +Sitting there listening to the green frogs croaking, hearing far +voices clearly but all transmuted by evening, watching the windows in +the little town glimmering one by one, and seeing the gloaming dwindle +solemnly into night, a great many things fell from mind that seem +important by day, and evening in their place planted strange fancies. + +Little winds had arisen and were whispering to and fro, it grew cold, +and I was about to descend the hill, when I heard a voice behind me +saying, "Beware, beware." + +So much the voice appeared a part of the evening that I did not turn +round at first; it was like voices that one hears in sleep and thinks +to be of one's dream. And the word was monotonously repeated, in +French. + +When I turned round I saw an old man with a horn. He had a white beard +marvellously long, and still went on saying slowly, "Beware, beware." +He had clearly just come from the tower by which he stood, though I +had heard no footfall. Had a man come stealthily upon me at such an +hour and in so lonesome a place I had certainly felt surprised; but I +saw almost at once that he was a spirit, and he seemed with his +uncouth horn and his long white beard and that noiseless step of his +to be so native to that time and place that I spoke to him as one does +to some fellow-traveller who asks you if you mind having the window +up. + +I asked him what there was to beware of. + +"Of what should a town beware," he said, "but the Saracens?" + +"Saracens?" I said. + +"Yes, Saracens, Saracens," he answered and brandished his horn. + +"And who are you?" I said. + +"I, I am the spirit of the tower," he said. + +When I asked him how he came by so human an aspect and was so unlike +the material tower beside him he told me that the lives of all the +watchers who had ever held the horn in the tower there had gone to +make the spirit of the tower. "It takes a hundred lives," he said. +"None hold the horn of late and men neglect the tower. When the walls +are in ill repair the Saracens come: it was ever so." + +"The Saracens don't come nowadays," I said. + +But he was gazing past me watching, and did not seem to heed me. + +"They will run down those hills," he said, pointing away to the South, +"out of the woods about nightfall, and I shall blow my horn. The +people will all come up from the town to the tower again; but the +loopholes are in very ill repair." + +"We never hear of the Saracens now," I said. + +"Hear of the Saracens!" the old spirit said. "Hear of the Saracens! +They slip one evening out of that forest, in the long white robes that +they wear, and I blow my horn. That is the first that anyone ever +hears of the Saracens." + +"I mean," I said, "that they never come at all. They cannot come and +men fear other things." For I thought the old spirit might rest if he +knew that the Saracens can never come again. But he said, "There is +nothing in the world to fear but the Saracens. Nothing else matters. +How can men fear other things?" + +Then I explained, so that he might have rest, and told him how all +Europe, and in particular France, had terrible engines of war, both on +land and sea; and how the Saracens had not these terrible engines +either on sea or land, and so could by no means cross the +Mediterranean or escape destruction on shore even though they should +come there. I alluded to the European railways that could move armies +night and day faster than horses could gallop. And when as well as I +could I had explained all, he answered, "In time all these things pass +away and then there will still be the Saracens." + +And then I said, "There has not been a Saracen either in France +or Spain for over four hundred years." + +And he said, "The Saracens! You do not know their cunning. That was +ever the way of the Saracens. They do not come for a while, no not +they, for a long while, and then one day they come." + +And peering southwards, but not seeing clearly because of the rising +mist, he silently moved to his tower and up its broken steps. + + + + + +How Plash-Goo Came to the Land of None's Desire + +In a thatched cottage of enormous size, so vast that we might consider +it a palace, but only a cottage in the style of its building, its +timbers and the nature of its interior, there lived Plash-Goo. + +Plash-Goo was of the children of the giants, whose sire was Uph. And +the lineage of Uph had dwindled in bulk for the last five hundred +years, till the giants were now no more than fifteen foot high; but +Uph ate elephants which he caught with his hands. + +Now on the tops of the mountains above the house of Plash-Goo, for +Plash-Goo lived in the plains, there dwelt the dwarf whose name was +Lrippity-Kang. And the dwarf used to walk at evening on the edge of +the tops of the mountains, and would walk up and down along it, and +was squat and ugly and hairy, and was plainly seen of Plash-Goo. + +And for many weeks the giant had suffered the sight of him, but at +length grew irked at the sight (as men are by little things), and +could not sleep of a night and lost his taste for pigs. And at last +there came the day, as anyone might have known, when Plash-Goo +shouldered his club and went up to look for the dwarf. + +And the dwarf though briefly squat was broader than may be dreamed, +beyond all breadth of man, and stronger than men may know; strength in +its very essence dwelt in that little frame, as a spark in the heart +of a flint: but to Plash-Goo he was no more than mis-shapen, bearded +and squat, a thing that dared to defy all natural laws by being more +broad than long. + +When Plash-Goo came to the mountain he cast his chimahalk down (for so +he named the club of his heart's desire) lest the dwarf should defy +him with nimbleness; and stepped towards Lrippity-Kang with gripping +hands, who stopped in his mountainous walk without a word, and swung +round his hideous breadth to confront Plash-Goo. Already then +Plash-Goo in the deeps of his mind had seen himself seize the dwarf in +one large hand and hurl him with his beard and his hated breadth sheer +down the precipice that dropped away from that very place to the land +of None's Desire. Yet it was otherwise that Fate would have it. For +the dwarf parried with his little arms the grip of those monstrous +hands, and gradually working along the enormous limbs came at length +to the giant's body where by dwarfish cunning he obtained a grip; and +turning Plash-Goo about, as a spider does some great fly, till his +little grip was suitable to his purpose, he suddenly lifted the giant +over his head. Slowly at first, by the edge of that precipice whose +base sheer distance hid, he swung his giant victim round his head, but +soon faster and faster; and at last when Plash-Goo was streaming round +the hated breadth of the dwarf and the no less hated beard was +flapping in the wind, Lrippity-Kang let go. Plash-Goo shot over the +edge and for some way further, out towards Space, like a stone; then +he began to fall. It was long before he believed and truly knew that +this was really he that fell from this mountain, for we do not +associate such dooms with ourselves; but when he had fallen for some +while through the evening and saw below him, where there had been +nothing to see, or began to see, the glimmer of tiny fields, then his +optimism departed; till later on when the fields were greener and +larger he saw that this was indeed (and growing now terribly nearer) +that very land to which he had destined the dwarf. + +At last he saw it unmistakable, close, with its grim houses and its +dreadful ways, and its green fields shining in the light of the +evening. His cloak was streaming from him in whistling shreds. + +So Plash-Goo came to the Land of None's Desire. + + + + + +The Three Sailors' Gambit + +Sitting some years ago in the ancient tavern at Over, one afternoon in +Spring, I was waiting, as was my custom, for something strange to +happen. In this I was not always disappointed for the very curious +leaded panes of that tavern, facing the sea, let a light into the +low-ceilinged room so mysterious, particularly at evening, that it +somehow seemed to affect the events within. Be that as it may, I have +seen strange things in that tavern and heard stranger things told. + +And as I sat there three sailors entered the tavern, just back, as +they said, from sea, and come with sunburned skins from a very long +voyage to the South; and one of them had a board and chessmen under +his arm, and they were complaining that they could find no one who +knew how to play chess. This was the year that the Tournament was in +England. And a little dark man at a table in a corner of the room, +drinking sugar and water, asked them why they wished to play chess; +and they said they would play any man for a pound. They opened their +box of chessmen then, a cheap and nasty set, and the man refused to +play with such uncouth pieces, and the sailors suggested that perhaps +he could find better ones; and in the end he went round to his +lodgings near by and brought his own, and then they sat down to play +for a pound a side. It was a consultation game on the part of the +sailors, they said that all three must play. + +Well, the little dark man turned out to be Stavlokratz. + +Of course he was fabulously poor, and the sovereign meant more to him +than it did to the sailors, but he didn't seem keen to play, it was +the sailors that insisted; he had made the badness of the sailors' +chessmen an excuse for not playing at all, but the sailors had +overruled that, and then he told them straight out who he was, and the +sailors had never heard of Stavlokratz. + +Well, no more was said after that. Stavlokratz said no more, either +because he did not wish to boast or because he was huffed that they +did not know who he was. And I saw no reason to enlighten the sailors +about him; if he took their pound they had brought it upon themselves, +and my boundless admiration for his genius made me feel that he +deserved whatever might come his way. He had not asked to play, they +had named the stakes, he had warned them, and gave them the first +move; there was nothing unfair about Stavlokratz. + +I had never seen Stavlokratz before, but I had played over nearly +every one of his games in the World Championship for the last three or +four years; he was always of course the model chosen by students. Only +young chess-players can appreciate my delight at seeing him play first +hand. + +Well, the sailors used to lower their heads almost as low as the table +and mutter together before every move, but they muttered so low that +you could not hear what they planned. + +They lost three pawns almost straight off, then a knight, and shortly +after a bishop; they were playing in fact the famous Three Sailors' +Gambit. + +Stavlokratz was playing with the easy confidence that they say was +usual with him, when suddenly at about the thirteenth move I saw him +look surprised; he leaned forward and looked at the board and then at +the sailors, but he learned nothing from their vacant faces; he looked +back at the board again. + +He moved more deliberately after that; the sailors lost two more +pawns, Stavlokratz had lost nothing as yet. He looked at me I thought +almost irritably, as though something would happen that he wished I +was not there to see. I believed at first that he had qualms about +taking the sailors' pound, until it dawned on me that he might lose +the game; I saw that possibility in his face, not on the board, for +the game had become almost incomprehensible to me. I cannot describe +my astonishment. And a few moves later Stavlokratz resigned. + +The sailors showed no more elation than if they had won some game with +greasy cards, playing amongst themselves. + +Stavlokratz asked them where they got their opening. "We kind of +thought of it," said one. "It just come into our heads like," said +another. He asked them questions about the ports they had touched at. +He evidently thought as I did myself that they had learned their +extraordinary gambit, perhaps in some old dependancy of Spain, from +some young master of chess whose fame had not reached Europe. He was +very eager to find out who this man could be, for neither of us +imagined that those sailors had invented it, nor would anyone who had +seen them. But he got no information from the sailors. + +Stavlokratz could very ill afford the loss of a pound. He offered to +play them again for the same stakes. The sailors began to set up the +white pieces. Stavlokratz pointed out that it was his turn for the +first move. The sailors agreed but continued to set up the white +pieces and sat with the white before them waiting for him to move. It +was a trivial incident, but it revealed to Stavlokratz and myself that +none of these sailors was aware that white always moves first. + +Stavlokratz played them on his own opening, reasoning of course that +as they had never heard of Stavlokratz they would not know of his +opening; and with probably a very good hope of getting back his pound +he played the fifth variation with its tricky seventh move, at least +so he intended, but it turned to a variation unknown to the students +of Stavlokratz. + +Throughout this game I watched the sailors closely, and I became sure, +as only an attentive watcher can be, that the one on their left, Jim +Bunion, did not even know the moves. + +When I had made up my mind about this I watched only the other two, +Adam Bailey and Bill Sloggs, trying to make out which was the master +mind; and for a long while I could not. And then I heard Adam Bailey +mutter six words, the only words I heard throughout the game, of all +their consultations, "No, him with the horse's head." And I decided +that Adam Bailey did not know what a knight was, though of course he +might have been explaining things to Bill Sloggs, but it did not sound +like that; so that left Bill Sloggs. I watched Bill Sloggs after that +with a certain wonder; he was no more intellectual than the others to +look at, though rather more forceful perhaps. Poor old Stavlokratz was +beaten again. + +Well, in the end I paid for Stavlokratz, and tried to get a game with +Bill Sloggs alone, but this he would not agree to, it must be all +three or none: and then I went back with Stavlokratz to his lodgings. +He very kindly gave me a game: of course it did not last long but I am +prouder of having been beaten by Stavlokratz than of any game that I +have ever won. And then we talked for an hour about the sailors, and +neither of us could make head or tail of them. I told him what I had +noticed about Jim Bunion and Adam Bailey, and he agreed with me that +Bill Sloggs was the man, though as to how he had come by that gambit +or that variation of Stavlokratz's own opening he had no theory. + +I had the sailors' address which was that tavern as much as anywhere, +and they were to be there all evening. As evening drew in I went back +to the tavern, and found there still the three sailors. And I offered +Bill Sloggs two pounds for a game with him alone and he refused, but +in the end he played me for a drink. And then I found that he had not +heard of the "en passant" rule, and believed that the fact of checking +the king prevented him from castling, and did not know that a player +can have two or more queens on the board at the same time if he queens +his pawns, or that a pawn could ever become a knight; and he made as +many of the stock mistakes as he had time for in a short game, which I +won. I thought that I should have got at the secret then, but his +mates who had sat scowling all the while in the corner came up and +interfered. It was a breach of their compact apparently for one to +play by himself, at any rate they seemed angry. So I left the tavern +then and came back again next day, and the next day and the day after, +and often saw the sailors, but none were in a communicative mood. I +had got Stavlokratz to keep away, and they could get no one to play +chess with at a pound a side, and I would not play with them unless +they told me the secret. + +And then one evening I found Jim Bunion drunk, yet not so drunk as he +wished, for the two pounds were spent; and I gave him very nearly a +tumbler of whiskey, or what passed for whiskey in that tavern at Over, +and he told me the secret at once. I had given the others some whiskey +to keep them quiet, and later on in the evening they must have gone +out, but Jim Bunion stayed with me by a little table leaning across it +and talking low, right into my face, his breath smelling all the while +of what passed for whiskey. + +The wind was blowing outside as it does on bad nights in November, +coming up with moans from the South, towards which the tavern faced +with all its leaded panes, so that none but I was able to hear his +voice as Jim Bunion gave up his secret. They had sailed for years, he +told me, with Bill Snyth; and on their last voyage home Bill Snyth had +died. And he was buried at sea. Just the other side of the line they +buried him, and his pals divided his kit, and these three got his +crystal that only they knew he had, which Bill got one night in Cuba. +They played chess with the crystal. + +And he was going on to tell me about that night in Cuba when Bill had +bought the crystal from the stranger, how some folks might think they +had seen thunderstorms, but let them go and listen to that one that +thundered in Cuba when Bill was buying his crystal and they'd find +that they didn't know what thunder was. But then I interrupted him, +unfortunately perhaps, for it broke the thread of his tale and set him +rambling a while, and cursing other people and talking of other lands, +China, Port Said and Spain: but I brought him back to Cuba again in +the end. I asked him how they could play chess with a crystal; and he +said that you looked at the board and looked at the crystal, and there +was the game in the crystal the same as it was on the board, with all +the odd little pieces looking just the same though smaller, horses' +heads and whatnots; and as soon as the other man moved the move came +out in the crystal, and then your move appeared after it, and all you +had to do was to make it on the board. If you didn't make the move +that you saw in the crystal things got very bad in it, everything +horribly mixed and moving about rapidly, and scowling and making the +same move over and over again, and the crystal getting cloudier and +cloudier; it was best to take one's eyes away from it then, or one +dreamt about it afterwards, and the foul little pieces came and cursed +you in your sleep and moved about all night with their crooked moves. + +I thought then that, drunk though he was, he was not telling the +truth, and I promised to show him to people who played chess all their +lives so that he and his mates could get a pound whenever they liked, +and I promised not to reveal his secret even to Stavlokratz, if only +he would tell me all the truth; and this promise I have kept till long +after the three sailors have lost their secret. I told him straight +out that I did not believe in the crystal. Well, Jim Bunion leaned +forward then, even further across the table, and swore he had seen the +man from whom Bill had bought the crystal and that he was one to whom +anything was possible. To begin with his hair was villainously dark, +and his features were unmistakable even down there in the South, and +he could play chess with his eyes shut, and even then he could beat +anyone in Cuba. But there was more than this, there was the bargain he +made with Bill that told one who he was. He sold that crystal for Bill +Snyth's soul. + +Jim Bunion leaning over the table with his breath in my face nodded +his head several times and was silent. + +I began to question him then. Did they play chess as far away as Cuba? +He said they all did. Was it conceivable that any man would make such +a bargain as Snyth made? Wasn't the trick well known? Wasn't it in +hundreds of books? And if he couldn't read books mustn't he have heard +from sailors that it is the Devil's commonest dodge to get souls from +silly people? + +Jim Bunion had leant back in his own chair quietly smiling at my +questions but when I mentioned silly people he leaned forward again, +and thrust his face close to mine and asked me several times if I +called Bill Snyth silly. It seemed that these three sailors thought a +great deal of Bill Snyth and it made Jim Bunion angry to hear anything +said against him. I hastened to say that the bargain seemed silly +though not of course the man who made it; for the sailor was almost +threatening, and no wonder for the whiskey in that dim tavern would +madden a nun. + +When I said that the bargain seemed silly he smiled again, and then he +thundered his fist down on the table and said that no one had ever yet +got the best of Bill Snyth and that that was the worst bargain for +himself that the Devil ever made, and that from all he had read or +heard of the Devil he had never been so badly had before as the night +when he met Bill Snyth at the inn in the thunderstorm in Cuba, for +Bill Snyth already had the damndest soul at sea; Bill was a good +fellow, but his soul was damned right enough, so he got the crystal +for nothing. + +Yes, he was there and saw it all himself, Bill Snyth in the Spanish +inn and the candles flaring, and the Devil walking in and out of the +rain, and then the bargain between those two old hands, and the Devil +going out into the lightning, and the thunderstorm raging on, and Bill +Snyth sitting chuckling to himself between the bursts of the thunder. + +But I had more questions to ask and interrupted this reminiscence. Why +did they all three always play together? And a look of something like +fear came over Jim Bunion's face; and at first he would not speak. And +then he said to me that it was like this; they had not paid for that +crystal, but got it as their share of Bill Snyth's kit. If they had +paid for it or given something in exchange to Bill Snyth that would +have been all right, but they couldn't do that now because Bill was +dead, and they were not sure if the old bargain might not hold good. +And Hell must be a large and lonely place, and to go there alone must +be bad, and so the three agreed that they would all stick together, +and use the crystal all three or not at all, unless one died, and then +the two would use it and the one that was gone would wait for them. +And the last of the three to go would take the crystal with him, or +maybe the crystal would bring him. They didn't think, they said, they +were the kind of men for Heaven, and he hoped they knew their place +better than that, but they didn't fancy the notion of Hell alone, if +Hell it had to be. It was all right for Bill Snyth, he was afraid of +nothing. He had known perhaps five men that were not afraid of death, +but Bill Snyth was not afraid of Hell. He died with a smile on his +face like a child in its sleep; it was drink killed poor Bill Snyth. + +This was why I had beaten Bill Sloggs; Sloggs had the crystal on him +while we played, but would not use it; these sailors seemed to fear +loneliness as some people fear being hurt; he was the only one of the +three who could play chess at all, he had learnt it in order to be +able to answer questions and keep up their pretence, but he had learnt +it badly, as I found. I never saw the crystal, they never showed it to +anyone; but Jim Bunion told me that night that it was about the size +that the thick end of a hen's egg would be if it were round. And then +he fell asleep. + +There were many more questions that I would have asked him but I could +not wake him up. I even pulled the table away so that he fell to the +floor, but he slept on, and all the tavern was dark but for one candle +burning; and it was then that I noticed for the first time that the +other two sailors had gone, no one remained at all but Jim Bunion and +I and the sinister barman of that curious inn, and he too was asleep. + +When I saw that it was impossible to wake the sailor I went out into +the night. Next day Jim Bunion would talk of it no more; and when I +went back to Stavlokratz I found him already putting on paper his +theory about the sailors, which became accepted by chess-players, that +one of them had been taught their curious gambit and that the other +two between them had learnt all the defensive openings as well as +general play. Though who taught them no one could say, in spite of +enquiries made afterwards all along the Southern Pacific. + +I never learnt any more details from any of the three sailors, they +were always too drunk to speak or else not drunk enough to be +communicative. I seem just to have taken Jim Bunion at the flood. But +I kept my promise, it was I that introduced them to the Tournament, +and a pretty mess they made of established reputations. And so they +kept on for months, never losing a game and always playing for their +pound a side. I used to follow them wherever they went merely to watch +their play. They were more marvellous than Stavlokratz even in his +youth. + +But then they took to liberties such as giving their queen when +playing first-class players. And in the end one day when all three +were drunk they played the best player in England with only a row of +pawns. They won the game all right. But the ball broke to pieces. I +never smelt such a stench in all my life. + +The three sailors took it stoically enough, they signed on to +different ships and went back again to the sea, and the world of chess +lost sight, for ever I trust, of the most remarkable players it ever +knew, who would have altogether spoiled the game. + + + + + +The Exiles Club + +It was an evening party; and something someone had said to me had +started me talking about a subject that to me is full of fascination, +the subject of old religions, forsaken gods. The truth (for all +religions have some of it), the wisdom, the beauty, of the religions +of countries to which I travel have not the same appeal for me; for +one only notices in them their tyranny and intolerance and the abject +servitude that they claim from thought; but when a dynasty has been +dethroned in heaven and goes forgotten and outcast even among men, +one's eyes no longer dazzled by its power find something very wistful +in the faces of fallen gods suppliant to be remembered, something +almost tearfully beautiful, like a long warm summer twilight fading +gently away after some day memorable in the story of earthly wars. +Between what Zeus, for instance, has been once and the half-remembered +tale he is today there lies a space so great that there is no change +of fortune known to man whereby we may measure the height down which +he has fallen. And it is the same with many another god at whom once +the ages trembled and the twentieth century treats as an old wives' +tale. The fortitude that such a fall demands is surely more than +human. + +Some such things as these I was saying, and being upon a subject that +much attracts me I possibly spoke too loudly, certainly I was not +aware that standing close behind me was no less a person than the +ex-King of Eritivaria, the thirty islands of the East, or I would have +moderated my voice and moved away a little to give him more room. I +was not aware of his presence until his satellite, one who had fallen +with him into exile but still revolved about him, told me that his +master desired to know me; and so to my surprise I was presented +though neither of them even knew my name. And that was how I came to +be invited by the ex-King to dine at his club. + +At the time I could only account for his wishing to know me by +supposing that he found in his own exiled condition some likeness to +the fallen fortunes of the gods of whom I talked unwitting of his +presence; but now I know that it was not of himself he was thinking +when he asked me to dine at that club. + +The club would have been the most imposing building in any street in +London, but in that obscure mean quarter of London in which they had +built it it appeared unduly enormous. Lifting right up above those +grotesque houses and built in that Greek style that we call Georgian, +there was something Olympian about it. To my host an unfashionable +street could have meant nothing, through all his youth wherever he had +gone had become fashionable the moment he went there; words like the +East End could have had no meaning to him. + +Whoever built that house had enormous wealth and cared nothing for +fashion, perhaps despised it. As I stood gazing at the magnificent +upper windows draped with great curtains, indistinct in the evening, +on which huge shadows flickered my host attracted my attention from +the doorway, and so I went in and met for the second time the ex-King +of Eritivaria. + +In front of us a stairway of rare marble led upwards, he took me +through a side-door and downstairs and we came to a banqueting-hall of +great magnificence. A long table ran up the middle of it, laid for +quite twenty people, and I noticed the peculiarity that instead of +chairs there were thrones for everyone except me, who was the only +guest and for whom there was an ordinary chair. My host explained to +me when we all sat down that everyone who belonged to that club was by +rights a king. + +In fact none was permitted, he told me, to belong to the club until +his claim to a kingdom made out in writing had been examined and +allowed by those whose duty it was. The whim of a populace or the +candidate's own misrule were never considered by the investigators, +nothing counted with them but heredity and lawful descent from kings, +all else was ignored. At that table there were those who had once +reigned themselves, others lawfully claimed descent from kings that +the world had forgotten, the kingdoms claimed by some had even changed +their names. Hatzgurh, the mountain kingdom, is almost regarded as +mythical. + +I have seldom seen greater splendour than that long hall provided +below the level of the street. No doubt by day it was a little sombre, +as all basements are, but at night with its great crystal chandeliers, +and the glitter of heirlooms that had gone into exile, it surpassed +the splendour of palaces that have only one king. They had come to +London suddenly most of those kings, or their fathers before them, or +forefathers; some had come away from their kingdoms by night, in a +light sleigh, flogging the horses, or had galloped clear with morning +over the border, some had trudged roads for days from their capital in +disguise, yet many had had time just as they left to snatch up some +small thing without price in markets, for the sake of old times as +they said, but quite as much, I thought, with an eye to the future. +And there these treasures glittered on that long table in the +banqueting-hall of the basement of that strange club. Merely to see +them was much, but to hear their story that their owners told was to +go back in fancy to epic times on the romantic border of fable and +fact, where the heroes of history fought with the gods of myth. The +famous silver horses of Gilgianza were there climbing their sheer +mountain, which they did by miraculous means before the time of the +Goths. It was not a large piece of silver but its workmanship +outrivalled the skill of the bees. + +A yellow Emperor had brought out of the East a piece of that +incomparable porcelain that had made his dynasty famous though all +their deeds are forgotten, it had the exact shade of the right purple. + +And there was a little golden statuette of a dragon stealing a diamond +from a lady, the dragon had the diamond in his claws, large and of the +first water. There had been a kingdom whose whole constitution and +history were founded on the legend, from which alone its kings had +claimed their right to the scepter, that a dragon stole a diamond from +a lady. When its last king left that country, because his favorite +general used a peculiar formation under the fire of artillery, he +brought with him the little ancient image that no longer proved him a +king outside that singular club. + +There was the pair of amethyst cups of the turbaned King of Foo, the +one that he drank from himself, and the one that he gave to his +enemies, eye could not tell which was which. + +All these things the ex-King of Eritivaria showed me, telling me a +marvelous tale of each; of his own he had brought nothing, except the +mascot that used once to sit on the top of the water tube of his +favorite motor. + +I have not outlined a tenth of the splendour of that table, I had +meant to come again and examine each piece of plate and make notes of +its history; had I known that this was the last time I should wish to +enter that club I should have looked at its treasures more +attentively, but now as the wine went round and the exiles began to +talk I took my eyes from the table and listened to strange tales of +their former state. + +He that has seen better times has usually a poor tale to tell, some +mean and trivial thing has been his undoing, but they that dined in +that basement had mostly fallen like oaks on nights of abnormal +tempest, had fallen mightily and shaken a nation. Those who had not +been kings themselves, but claimed through an exiled ancestor, had +stories to tell of even grander disaster, history seeming to have +mellowed their dynasty's fate as moss grows over an oak a great while +fallen. There were no jealousies there as so often there are among +kings, rivalry must have ceased with the loss of their navies and +armies, and they showed no bitterness against those that had turned +them out, one speaking of the error of his Prime Minister by which he +had lost his throne as "poor old Friedrich's Heaven-sent gift of +tactlessness." + +They gossiped pleasantly of many things, the tittle-tattle we all had +to know when we were learning history, and many a wonderful story I +might have heard, many a side light on mysterious wars had I not made +use of one unfortunate word. That word was "upstairs." + +The ex-King of Eritivaria having pointed out to me those unparalleled +heirlooms to which I have alluded, and many more besides, hospitably +asked me if there was anything else that I would care to see, he meant +the pieces of plate that they had in the cupboards, the curiously +graven swords of other princes, historic jewels, legendary seals, but +I who had had a glimpse of their marvelous staircase, whose balustrade +I believed to be solid gold and wondering why in such a stately house +they chose to dine in the basement, mentioned the word "upstairs." A +profound hush came down on the whole assembly, the hush that might +greet levity in a cathedral. + +"Upstairs!" he gasped. "We cannot go upstairs." + +I perceived that what I had said was an ill-chosen thing. I tried to +excuse myself but knew not how. + +"Of course," I muttered, "members may not take guests upstairs." + +"Members!" he said to me. "We are not the members!" + +There was such reproof in his voice that I said no more, I looked at +him questioningly, perhaps my lips moved, I may have said "What are +you?" A great surprise had come on me at their attitude. + +"We are the waiters," he said. + +That I could not have known, here at last was honest ignorance that I +had no need to be ashamed of, the very opulence of their table denied +it. + +"Then who are the members?" I asked. + +Such a hush fell at that question, such a hush of genuine awe, that +all of a sudden a wild thought entered my head, a thought strange and +fantastic and terrible. I gripped my host by the wrist and hushed my +voice. + +"Are they too exiles?" I asked. + +Twice as he looked in my face he gravely nodded his head. + +I left that club very swiftly indeed, never to see it again, scarcely +pausing to say farewell to those menial kings, and as I left the door +a great window opened far up at the top of the house and a flash of +lightning streamed from it and killed a dog. + + + + + +The Three Infernal Jokes + +This is the story that the desolate man told to me on the lonely +Highland road one autumn evening with winter coming on and the stags +roaring. + +The saddening twilight, the mountain already black, the dreadful +melancholy of the stags' voices, his friendless mournful face, all +seemed to be of some most sorrowful play staged in that valley by an +outcast god, a lonely play of which the hills were part and he the +only actor. + +For long we watched each other drawing out of the solitudes of those +forsaken spaces. Then when we met he spoke. + +"I will tell you a thing that will make you die of laughter. I will +keep it to myself no longer. But first I must tell you how I came by +it." + +I do not give the story in his words with all his woeful interjections +and the misery of his frantic self-reproaches for I would not convey +unnecessarily to my readers that atmosphere of sadness that was about +all he said and that seemed to go with him where-ever he moved. + +It seems that he had been a member of a club, a West-end club he +called it, a respectable but quite inferior affair, probably in the +City: agents belonged to it, fire insurance mostly, but life insurance +and motor-agents too, it was in fact a touts' club. It seems that a +few of them one evening, forgetting for a moment their encyclopedias +and non-stop tyres, were talking loudly over a card-table when the +game had ended about their personal virtues, and a very little man +with waxed moustaches who disliked the taste of wine was boasting +heartily of his temperance. It was then that he who told this mournful +story, drawn on by the boasts of others, leaned forward a little over +the green baize into the light of the two guttering candles and +revealed, no doubt a little shyly, his own extraordinary virtue. One +woman was to him as ugly as another. + +And the silenced boasters rose and went home to bed leaving him all +alone, as he supposed, with his unequalled virtue. And yet he was not +alone, for when the rest had gone there arose a member out of a deep +arm-chair at the dark end of the room and walked across to him, a man +whose occupation he did not know and only now suspects. + +"You have," said the stranger, "a surpassing virtue." + +"I have no possible use for it," my poor friend replied. + +"Then doubtless you would sell it cheap," said the stranger. + +Something in the man's manner or appearance made the desolate teller +of this mournful tale feel his own inferiority, which probably made +him feel acutely shy, so that his mind abased itself as an Oriental +does his body in the presence of a superior, or perhaps he was sleepy, +or merely a little drunk. Whatever it was he only mumbled, "O yes," +instead of contradicting so mad a remark. And the stranger led the way +to the room where the telephone was. + +"I think you will find my firm will give a good price for it," he +said: and without more ado he began with a pair of pincers to cut the +wire of the telephone and the receiver. The old waiter who looked +after the club they had left shuffling round the other room putting +things away for the night. + +"Whatever are you doing of?" said my friend. + +"This way," said the stranger. Along a passage they went and away to +the back of the club and there the stranger leaned out of a window and +fastened the severed wires to the lightning conductor. My friend has +no doubt of that, a broad ribbon of copper, half an inch wide, perhaps +wider, running down from the roof to the earth. + +"Hell," said the stranger with his mouth to the telephone; then +silence for a while with his ear to the receiver, leaning out of the +window. And then my friend heard his poor virtue being several times +repeated, and then words like Yes and No. + +"They offer you three jokes," said the stranger, "which shall make all +who hear them simply die of laughter." + +I think my friend was reluctant then to have anything more to do with +it, he wanted to go home; he said he didn't want jokes. + +"They think very highly of your virtue," I said the stranger. And at +that, odd as it seems, my friend wavered, for logically if they +thought highly of the goods they should have paid a higher price. + +"O all right," he said. The extraordinary document that the agent drew +from his pocket ran something like this: + +"I . . . . . in consideration of three new jokes received from Mr. +Montagu-Montague, hereinafter to be called the agent, and warranted to +be as by him stated and described, do assign to him, yield, abrogate +and give up all recognitions, emoluments, perquisites or rewards due +to me Here or Elsewhere on account of the following virtue, to wit and +that is to say . . . . . that all women are to me equally ugly." The +last eight words being filled in in ink by Mr. Montagu-Montague. + +My poor friend duly signed it. "These are the jokes," said the agent. +They were boldly written on three slips of paper. "They don't seem +very funny," said the other when he had read them. "You are immune," +said Mr. Montagu-Montague, "but anyone else who hears them will simply +die of laughter: that we guarantee." + +An American firm had bought at the price of waste paper a hundred +thousand copies of The Dictionary of Electricity written when +electricity was new,--and it had turned out that even at the time its +author had not rightly grasped his subject,--the firm had paid +L10,000 to a respectable English paper (no other in fact than +the Briton) for the use of its name, and to obtain orders for The +Briton Dictionary of Electricity was the occupation of my unfortunate +friend. He seems to have had a way with him. Apparently he knew by a +glance at a man, or a look round at his garden, whether to recommend +the book as "an absolutely up-to-date achievement, the finest thing of +its kind in the world of modern science" or as "at once quaint and +imperfect, a thing to buy and to keep as a tribute to those dear old +times that are gone." So he went on with this quaint though usual +business, putting aside the memory of that night as an occasion on +which he had "somewhat exceeded" as they say in circles where a spade +is called neither a spade nor an agricultural implement but is never +mentioned at all, being altogether too vulgar. And then one night he +put on his suit of dress clothes and found the three jokes in the +pocket. That was perhaps a shock. He seems to have thought it over +carefully then, and the end of it was he gave a dinner at the club to +twenty of the members. The dinner would do no harm he thought--might +even help the business, and if the joke came off he would be a witty +fellow, and two jokes still up his sleeve. + +Whom he invited or how the dinner went I do not know for he began to +speak rapidly and came straight to the point, as a stick that nears a +cataract suddenly goes faster and faster. The dinner was duly served, +the port went round, the twenty men were smoking, two waiters +loitered, when he after carefully reading the best of the jokes told +it down the table. They laughed. One man accidentally inhaled his +cigar smoke and spluttered, the two waiters overheard and tittered +behind their hands, one man, a bit of a raconteur himself, quite +clearly wished not to laugh, but his veins swelled dangerously in +trying to keep it back, and in the end he laughed too. The joke had +succeeded; my friend smiled at the thought; he wished to say little +deprecating things to the man on his right; but the laughter did not +stop and the waiters would not be silent. He waited, and waited +wondering; the laughter went roaring on, distinctly louder now, and +the waiters as loud as any. It had gone on for three or four minutes +when this frightful thought leaped up all at once in his mind: _it was +forced laughter!_ However could anything have induced him to tell so +foolish a joke? He saw its absurdity as in revelation; and the more he +thought of it as these people laughed at him, even the waiters too, +the more he felt that he could never lift up his head with his brother +touts again. And still the laughter went roaring and choking on. He +was very angry. There was not much use in having a friend, he thought, +if one silly joke could not be overlooked; he had fed them too. And +then he felt that he had no friends at all, and his anger faded away, +and a great unhappiness came down on him, and he got quietly up and +slunk from the room and slipped away from the club. Poor man, he +scarcely had the heart next morning even to glance at the papers, but +you did not need to glance at them, big type was bandied about that +day as though it were common type, the words of the headlines stared +at you; and the headlines said:--Twenty-Two Dead Men at a Club. + +Yes, he saw it then: the laughter had not stopped, some had probably +burst blood vessels, some must have choked, some succumbed to nausea, +heart-failure must have mercifully taken some, and they were his +friends after all, and none had escaped, not I even the waiters. It +was that infernal joke. + +He thought out swiftly, and remembers clear as a nightmare, the drive +to Victoria Station, the boat-train to Dover and going disguised to +the boat: and on the boat pleasantly smiling, almost obsequious, two +constables that wished to speak for a moment with Mr. Watkyn-Jones. +That was his name. + +In a third-class carriage with handcuffs on his wrists, with forced +conversation when any, he returned between his captors to Victoria to +be tried for murder at the High Court of Bow. + +At the trial he was defended by a young barrister of considerable +ability who had gone into the Cabinet in order to enhance his forensic +reputation. And he was ably defended. It is no exaggeration to say +that the speech for the defence showed it to be usual, even natural +and right, to give a dinner to twenty men and to slip away without +ever saying a word, leaving all, with the waiters, dead. That was the +impression left in the minds of the jury. And Mr. Watkyn-Jones felt +himself practically free, with all the advantages of his awful +experience, and his two jokes intact. But lawyers are still +experimenting with the new act which allows a prisoner to give +evidence. They do not like to make no use of it for fear they may be +thought not to know of the act, and a lawyer who is not in touch with +the very latest laws is soon regarded as not being up to date and he +may drop as much as L50,000 a year in fees. And therefore though +it always hangs their clients they hardly like to neglect it. + +Mr. Watkyn-Jones was put in the witness box. There he told the simple +truth, and a very poor affair it seemed after the impassioned and +beautiful things that were uttered by the counsel for the defence. Men +and women had wept when they heard that. They did not weep when they +heard Watkyn-Jones. Some tittered. It no longer seemed a right and +natural thing to leave one's guests all dead and to fly the country. +Where was Justice, they asked, if anyone could do that? And when his +story was told the judge rather happily asked if he could make him die +of laughter too. And what was the joke? For in so grave a place as a +Court of Justice no fatal effects need be feared. And hesitatingly the +prisoner pulled from his pocket the three slips of paper: and +perceived for the first time that the one on which the first and best +joke had been written had become quite blank. Yet he could remember +it, and only too clearly. And he told it from memory to the Court. + +"An Irishman once on being asked by his master to buy a morning paper +said in his usual witty way, 'Arrah and begorrah and I will be after +wishing you the top of the morning.'" + +No joke sounds quite so good the second time it is told, it seems to +lose something of its essence, but Watkyn-Jones was not prepared for +the awful stillness with which this one was received; nobody smiled; +and it had killed twenty-two men. The joke was bad, devilish bad; +counsel for the defence was frowning, and an usher was looking in a +little bag for something the judge wanted. And at this moment, as +though from far away, without his wishing it, there entered the +prisoner's head, and shone there and would not go, this old bad +proverb: "As well be hung for a sheep as for a lamb." The jury seemed +to be just about to retire. "I have another joke," said Watkyn-Jones, +and then and there he read from the second slip of paper. He watched +the paper curiously to see if it would go blank, occupying his mind +with so slight a thing as men in dire distress very often do, and the +words were almost immediately expunged, swept swiftly as if by a hand, +and he saw the paper before him as blank as the first. And they were +laughing this time, judge, jury, counsel for the prosecution, audience +and all, and the grim men that watched him upon either side. There was +no mistake about this joke. + +He did not stay to see the end, and walked out with his eyes fixed on +the ground, unable to bear a glance to the right or left. And since +then he has wandered, avoiding ports and roaming lonely places. Two +years have known him on the Highland roads, often hungry, always +friendless, always changing his district, wandering lonely on with his +deadly joke. + +Sometimes for a moment he will enter inns, driven by cold and hunger, +and hear men in the evening telling jokes and even challenging him; +but he sits desolate and silent, lest his only weapon should escape +from him and his last joke spread mourning in a hundred cots. His +beard has grown and turned grey and is mixed with moss and weeds, so +that no one, I think, not even the police, would recognise him now for +that dapper tout that sold The Briton Dictionary of Electricity in +such a different land. + +He paused, his story told, and then his lip quivered as though he +would say more, and I believe he intended then and there to yield up +his deadly joke on that Highland road and to go forth then with his +three blank slips of paper, perhaps to a felon's cell, with one more +murder added to his crimes, but harmless at last to man. I therefore +hurried on, and only heard him mumbling sadly behind me, standing +bowed and broken, all alone in the twilight, perhaps telling over and +over even then the last infernal joke. + + + THE END + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Tales of Wonder, by Lord Dunsany + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK TALES OF WONDER *** + +***** This file should be named 13821.txt or 13821.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + http://www.gutenberg.net/1/3/8/2/13821/ + +Produced by Tom Harris + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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