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diff --git a/1367-h/1367-h.htm b/1367-h/1367-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..76b3139 --- /dev/null +++ b/1367-h/1367-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1270 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Findelkind, by Louise de La Ramee (aka Ouida) + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1367 ***</div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + FINDELKIND + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Louise de la Ramee (AKA Ouida) + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Works of Louisa de la Ramee ("Ouida") + + Findelkind + Muriella + A Dog of Flanders + The Nurnberg Stove + A Provence Rose + Two Little Wooden Shoes + </pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h1> + FINDELKIND + </h1> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <p> + There was a little boy, a year or two ago, who lived under the shadow of + Martinswand. Most people know, I should suppose, that the Martinswand is + that mountain in the Oberinnthal, where, several centuries past, brave + Kaiser Max lost his footing as he stalked the chamois, and fell upon a + ledge of rock, and stayed there, in mortal peril, for thirty hours, till + he was rescued by the strength and agility of a Tyrol hunter,—an + angel in the guise of a hunter, as the chronicles of the time prefer to + say. + </p> + <p> + The Martinswand is a grand mountain, being one of the spurs of the greater + Sonnstein, and rises precipitously, looming, massive and lofty, like a + very fortress for giants, where it stands right across that road which, if + you follow it long enough, takes you through Zell to Landeck,—old, + picturesque, poetic Landeck, where Frederick of the Empty Pockets rhymed + his sorrows in ballads to his people,—and so on by Bludenz into + Switzerland itself, by as noble a highway as any traveller can ever desire + to traverse on a summer's day. It is within a mile of the little burg of + Zell, where the people, in the time of their emperor's peril, came out + with torches and bells, and the Host lifted up by their priest, and all + prayed on their knees underneath the steep, gaunt pile of limestone, that + is the same today as it was then, whilst Kaiser Max is dust; it soars up + on one side of this road, very steep and very majestic, having bare stone + at its base, and being all along its summit crowned with pine woods; and + on the other side of the road are a little stone church, quaint and low, + and gray with age, and a stone farmhouse, and cattle-sheds, and + timber-sheds, all of wood that is darkly brown from time; and beyond these + are some of the most beautiful meadows in the world, full of tall grass + and countless flowers, with pools and little estuaries made by the + brimming Inn River that flows by them; and beyond the river are the + glaciers of the Sonnstein and the Selrain and the wild Arlberg region, and + the golden glow of sunset in the west, most often seen from here through + the veil of falling rain. + </p> + <p> + At this farmhouse, with Martinswand towering above it, and Zell a mile + beyond, there lived, and lives still, a little boy who bears the old + historical name of Findelkind, whose father, Otto Korner, is the last of a + sturdy race of yeomen, who had fought with Hofer and Haspinger, and had + been free men always. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind came in the middle of seven other children, and was a pretty + boy of nine years, with slenderer limbs and paler cheeks than his rosy + brethren, and tender dreamy eyes that had the look, his mother told him, + of seeking stars in midday: de chercher midi a quatorze heures, as the + French have it. He was a good little lad, and seldom gave any trouble from + disobedience, though he often gave it from forgetfulness. His father + angrily complained that he was always in the clouds,—that is, he was + always dreaming, and so very often would spill the milk out of the pails, + chop his own fingers instead of the wood, and stay watching the swallows + when he was sent to draw water. His brothers and sisters were always + making fun of him; they were sturdier, ruddier, and merrier children than + he was, loved romping and climbing, and nutting, thrashing the + walnut-trees and sliding down snow-drifts, and got into mischief of a more + common and childish sort than Findelkind's freaks of fancy. For, indeed, + he was a very fanciful little boy: everything around had tongues for him; + and he would sit for hours among the long rushes on the river's edge, + trying to imagine what the wild green-gray water had found in its + wanderings, and asking the water-rats and the ducks to tell him about it; + but both rats and ducks were too busy to attend to an idle little boy, and + never spoke, which vexed him. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind, however, was very fond of his books: he would study day and + night, in his little ignorant, primitive fashion. He loved his missal and + his primer, and could spell them both out very fairly, and was learning to + write of a good priest in Zirl, where he trotted three times a week with + his two little brothers. When not at school, he was chiefly set to guard + the sheep and the cows, which occupation left him very much to himself, so + that he had many hours in the summer-time to stare up to the skies and + wonder—wonder—wonder about all sorts of things; while in the + winter—the long, white, silent winter, when the post-wagons ceased + to run, and the road into Switzerland was blocked, and the whole world + seemed asleep, except for the roaring of the winds—Findelkind, who + still trotted over the snow to school in Zirl, would dream still, sitting + on the wooden settle by the fire, when he came home again under + Martinswand. For the worst—or the best—of it all was that he + was Findelkind. + </p> + <p> + This is what was always haunting him. He was Findelkind; and to bear this + name seemed to him to mark him out from all other children, and to + dedicate him to heaven. One day, three years before, when he had been only + six years old, the priest in Zirl, who was a very kindly and cheerful man, + and amused the children as much as he taught them, had not allowed + Findelkind to leave school to go home, because the storm of snow and wind + was so violent, but had kept him until the worst should pass, with one or + two other little lads who lived some way off, and had let the boys roast a + meal of apples and chestnuts by the stove in his little room, and, while + the wind howled and the blinding snow fell without, had told the children + the story of another Findelkind,—an earlier Findelkind, who had + lived in the flesh on Arlberg as far back as 1381, and had been a little + shepherd lad, "just like you," said the good man, looking at the little + boys munching their roast crabs, and whose country had been over there, + above Stuben, where Danube and Rhine meet and part. + </p> + <p> + The pass of Arlberg is even still so bleak and bitter that few care to + climb there; the mountains around are drear and barren, and snow lies till + midsummer, and even longer sometimes. "But in the early ages," said the + priest (and this is quite a true tale that the children heard with open + eyes, and mouths only not open because they were full of crabs and + chestnuts), "in the early ages," said the priest to them, "the Arlberg was + far more dreary than it is now. There was only a mule-track over it, and + no refuge for man or beast; so that wanderers and peddlers, and those + whose need for work or desire for battle brought them over that frightful + pass, perished in great numbers, and were eaten by the bears and the + wolves. The little shepherd boy Findelkind—who was a little boy five + hundred years ago, remember," the priest repeated—"was sorely + disturbed and distressed to see these poor dead souls in the snow winter + after winter, and seeing the blanched bones lie on the bare earth, + unburied, when summer melted the snow. It made him unhappy, very unhappy; + and what could he do, he a little boy keeping sheep? He had as his wages + two florins a year; that was all; but his heart rose high, and he had + faith in God. Little as he was, he said to himself he would try and do + something, so that year after year those poor lost travellers and beasts + should not perish so. He said nothing to anybody, but he took the few + florins he had saved up, bade his master farewell, and went on his way + begging,—a little fourteenth century boy, with long, straight hair, + and a girdled tunic, as you see them," continued the priest, "in the + miniatures in the black-letter missal that lies upon my desk. No doubt + heaven favoured him very strongly, and the saints watched over him; still, + without the boldness of his own courage, and the faith in his own heart, + they would not have done so. I suppose, too, that when knights in their + armour, and soldiers in their camps, saw such a little fellow all alone, + they helped him, and perhaps struck some blows for him, and so sped him on + his way, and protected him from robbers and from wild beasts. Still, be + sure that the real shield and the real reward that served Findelkind of + Arlberg was the pure and noble purpose that armed him night and day. Now, + history does not tell us where Findelkind went, nor how he fared, nor how + long he was about it; but history does tell us that the little barefooted, + long-haired boy, knocking so loudly at castle gates and city walls in the + name of Christ and Christ's poor brethren, did so well succeed in his + quest that before long he had returned to his mountain home with means to + have a church and a rude dwelling built, where he lived with six other + brave and charitable souls, dedicating themselves to St. Christopher, and + going out night and day to the sound of the Angelus, seeking the lost and + weary. This is really what Findelkind of Arlberg did five centuries ago, + and did so quickly that his fraternity of St. Christopher, twenty years + after, numbered among its members archdukes, and prelates, and knights + without number, and lasted as a great order down to the days of Joseph II. + This is what Findelkind in the fourteenth century did, I tell you. Bear + like faith in your hearts, my children; and though your generation is a + harder one than this, because it is without faith, yet you shall move + mountains, because Christ and St. Christopher will be with you." + </p> + <p> + Then the good man, having said that, blessed them, and left them alone to + their chestnuts and crabs, and went into his own oratory to prayer. The + other boys laughed and chattered; but Findelkind sat very quietly, + thinking of his namesake, all the day after, and for many days and weeks + and months this story haunted him. A little boy had done all that; and + this little boy had been called Findelkind: Findelkind, just like himself. + </p> + <p> + It was beautiful, and yet it tortured him. If the good man had known how + the history would root itself in the child's mind, perhaps he would never + have told it; for night and day it vexed Findelkind, and yet seemed + beckoning to him and crying, "Go thou and do likewise!" + </p> + <p> + But what could he do? + </p> + <p> + There was the snow, indeed, and there were the mountains, as in the + fourteenth century, but there were no travellers lost. The diligence did + not go into Switzerland after autumn, and the country people who went by + on their mules and in their sledges to Innspruck knew their way very well, + and were never likely to be adrift on a winter's night, or eaten by a wolf + or a bear. + </p> + <p> + When spring came, Findelkind sat by the edge of the bright pure water + among the flowering grasses, and felt his heart heavy. Findelkind of + Arlberg who was in heaven now must look down, he fancied, and think him so + stupid and so selfish, sitting there. The first Findelkind, a few + centuries before, had trotted down on his bare feet from his mountain + pass, and taken his little crook, and gone out boldly over all the land on + his pilgrimage, and knocked at castle gates and city walls in Christ's + name, and for love of the poor! That was to do something indeed! + </p> + <p> + This poor little living Findelkind would look at the miniatures in the + priest's missal, in one of which there was the little fourteenth-century + boy, with long hanging hair and a wallet and bare feet, and he never + doubted that it was the portrait of the blessed Findelkind who was in + heaven; and he wondered if he looked like a little boy there, or if he + were changed to the likeness of an angel. + </p> + <p> + "He was a boy just like me," thought the poor little fellow, and he felt + so ashamed of himself,—so very ashamed; and the priest had told him + to try and do the same. He brooded over it so much, and it made him so + anxious and so vexed, that his brothers ate his porridge and he did not + notice it, his sisters pulled his curls and he did not feel it, his father + brought a stick down on his back, and he only started and stared, and his + mother cried because he was losing his mind, and would grow daft, and even + his mother's tears he scarcely saw. He was always thinking of Findelkind + in heaven. + </p> + <p> + When he went for water, he spilt one-half; when he did his lessons, he + forgot the chief part; when he drove out the cow, he let her munch the + cabbages; and when he was set to watch the oven he let the loaves burn, + like great Alfred. He was always busied thinking, "Little Findelkind that + is in heaven did so great a thing: why may not I? I ought! I ought!" What + was the use of being named after Findelkind that was in heaven, unless one + did something great, too? + </p> + <p> + Next to the church there is a little stone lodge, or shed, with two arched + openings, and from it you look into the tiny church, with its crucifixes + and relics, or out to great, bold, sombre Martinswand, as you like best; + and in this spot Findelkind would sit hour after hour while his brothers + and sisters were playing, and look up at the mountains or on to the altar, + and wish and pray and vex his little soul most wofully; and his ewes and + his lambs would crop the grass about the entrance, and bleat to make him + notice them and lead them farther afield, but all in vain. Even his dear + sheep he hardly heeded, and his pet ewes, Katte and Greta, and the big ram + Zips, rubbed their soft noses in his hand unnoticed. So the summer droned + away,—the summer that is so short in the mountains, and yet so green + and so radiant, with the torrents tumbling through the flowers, and the + hay tossing in the meadows, and the lads and lasses climbing to cut the + rich, sweet grass of the alps. The short summer passed as fast as a + dragon-fly flashes by, all green and gold, in the sun; and it was near + winter once more, and still Findelkind was always dreaming and wondering + what he could do for the good of St. Christopher; and the longing to do it + all came more and more into his little heart, and he puzzled his brain + till his head ached. One autumn morning, whilst yet it was dark, + Findelkind made his mind up, and rose before his brothers, and stole + down-stairs and out into the air, as it was easy to do, because the + house-door never was bolted. He had nothing with him; he was barefooted, + and his school-satchel was slung behind him, as Findelkind of Arlberg's + wallet had been five centuries before. + </p> + <p> + He took a little staff from the piles of wood lying about, and went out on + to the highroad, on his way to do heaven's will. He was not very sure what + that divine will wished, but that was because he was only nine years old, + and not very wise; but Findelkind that was in heaven had begged for the + poor; so would he. + </p> + <p> + His parents were very poor, but he did not think of them as in any want at + any time, because he always had his bowlful of porridge and as much bread + as he wanted to eat. This morning he had nothing to eat; he wished to be + away before any one could question him. + </p> + <p> + It was quite dusk in the fresh autumn morning. The sun had not risen + behind the glaciers of the Stubaithal, and the road was scarcely seen; but + he knew it very well, and he set out bravely, saying his prayers to + Christ, and to St. Christopher, and to Findelkind that was in heaven. + </p> + <p> + He was not in any way clear as to what he would do, but he thought he + would find some great thing to do somewhere, lying like a jewel in the + dust; and he went on his way in faith, as Findelkind of Arlberg had done + before him. + </p> + <p> + His heart beat high, and his head lost its aching pains, and his feet felt + light; so light as if there were wings to his ankles. He would not go to + Zirl, because Zirl he knew so well, and there could be nothing very + wonderful waiting there; and he ran fast the other way. When he was fairly + out from under the shadow of Martinswand, he slackened his pace, and saw + the sun come on his path, and the red day redden the gray-green water, and + the early Stellwagen from Landeck, that had been lumbering along all the + night, overtook him. + </p> + <p> + He would have run after it, and called out to the travellers for alms, but + he felt ashamed. His father had never let him beg, and he did not know how + to begin. + </p> + <p> + The Stellwagen rolled on through the autumn mud, and that was one chance + lost. He was sure that the first Findelkind had not felt ashamed when he + had knocked at the first castle gates. + </p> + <p> + By and by, when he could not see Martinswand by turning his head back ever + so, he came to an inn that used to be a post-house in the old days when + men travelled only by road. A woman was feeding chickens in the bright + clear red of the cold daybreak. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind timidly held out his hand. "For the poor!" he murmured, and + doffed his cap. + </p> + <p> + The old woman looked at him sharply. "Oh, is it you, little Findelkind? + Have you run off from school? Be off with you home! I haves mouths enough + to feed here." + </p> + <p> + Findelkind went away, and began to learn that it is not easy to be a + prophet or a hero in one's own country. + </p> + <p> + He trotted a mile farther, and met nothing. At last he came to some cows + by the wayside, and a man tending them. + </p> + <p> + "Would you give me something to help make a monastery?" he said, timidly, + and once more took off his cap. The man gave a great laugh. "A fine monk, + you! And who wants more of these lazy drones? Not I." + </p> + <p> + Findelkind never answered: he remembered the priest had said that the + years he lived in were very hard ones, and men in them had no faith. + </p> + <p> + Ere long he came to a big walled house, with turrets and grated casements,—very + big it looked to him,—like one of the first Findelkind's own + castles. His heart beat loud against his side, but he plucked up his + courage, and knocked as loud as his heart was beating. + </p> + <p> + He knocked and knocked, but no answer came. The house was empty. But he + did not know that; he thought it was that the people within were cruel, + and he went sadly onward with the road winding before him, and on his + right the beautiful impetuous gray river, and on his left the green + Mittelgebirge and the mountains that rose behind it. By this time the day + was up; the sun was glowing on the red of the cranberry shrubs, and the + blue of the bilberry-boughs: he was hungry and thirsty and tired. But he + did not give in for that; he held on steadily; he knew that there was + near, somewhere near, a great city that the people called Sprugg, and + thither he had resolved to go. By noontide he had walked eight miles, and + came to a green place where men were shooting at targets, the tall, thick + grass all around them; and a little way farther off was a train of people + chanting and bearing crosses, and dressed in long flowing robes. + </p> + <p> + The place was the Hottinger Au, and the day was Saturday, and the village + was making ready to perform a miracle-play on the morrow. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind ran to the robed singing-folk, quite sure that he saw the + people of God. "Oh, take me, take me!" he cried to them; "do take me with + you to do heaven's work." + </p> + <p> + But they pushed him aside for a crazy little boy that spoiled their + rehearsing. + </p> + <p> + "It is only for Hotting folk," said a lad older than himself. "Get out of + the way with you, Liebchen." And the man who carried the cross knocked him + with force on the head, by mere accident; but Findelkind thought he had + meant it. + </p> + <p> + Were people so much kinder five centuries before, he wondered, and felt + sad as the many-coloured robes swept on through the grass, and the crack + of the rifles sounded sharply through the music of the chanting voices. He + went on, footsore and sorrowful, thinking of the castle doors that had + opened, and the city gates that had unclosed, at the summons of the little + long-haired boy whose figure was painted on the missal. + </p> + <p> + He had come now to where the houses were much more numerous, though under + the shade of great trees,—lovely old gray houses, some of wood, some + of stone, some with frescoes on them and gold and colour and mottoes, some + with deep barred casements, and carved portals, and sculptured figures; + houses of the poorer people now, but still memorials of a grand and + gracious time. For he had wandered into the quarter of St. Nicholas in + this fair mountain city, which he, like his country-folk, called Sprugg, + though the government calls it Innspruck. + </p> + <p> + He got out upon a long, gray, wooden bridge, and looked up and down the + reaches of the river, and thought to himself, maybe this was not Sprugg + but Jerusalem, so beautiful it looked with its domes shining golden in the + sun, and the snow of the Soldstein and Branjoch behind them. For little + Findelkind had never come so far as this before. As he stood on the bridge + so dreaming, a hand clutched him, and a voice said: + </p> + <p> + "A whole kreutzer, or you do not pass!" + </p> + <p> + Findelkind started and trembled. + </p> + <p> + A kreutzer! he had never owned such a treasure in all his life. + </p> + <p> + "I have no money!" he murmured, timidly, "I came to see if I could get + money for the poor." + </p> + <p> + The keeper of the bridge laughed. + </p> + <p> + "You are a little beggar, you mean? Oh, very well! Then over my bridge you + do not go. + </p> + <p> + "But it is the city on the other side?" + </p> + <p> + "To be sure it is the city; but over nobody goes without a kreutzer." + </p> + <p> + "I never have such a thing of my own! never! never!" said Findelkind, + ready to cry. + </p> + <p> + "Then you were a little fool to come away from your home, wherever that + may be," said the man at the bridge-head. "Well, I will let you go, for + you look a baby. But do not beg; that is bad." + </p> + <p> + "Findelkind did it!" + </p> + <p> + "Then Findelkind was a rogue and a vagabond," said the taker of tolls. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, no—no—no!" + </p> + <p> + "Oh, yes—yes—yes, little sauce-box; and take that," said the + man, giving him a box on the ear, being angry at contradiction. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind's head drooped, and he went slowly over the bridge, forgetting + that he ought to have thanked the toll-taker for a free passage. The world + seemed to him very difficult. How had Findelkind done when he had come to + bridges?—and, oh, how had Findelkind done when he had been hungry? + </p> + <p> + For this poor little Findelkind was getting very hungry, and his stomach + was as empty as was his wallet. + </p> + <p> + A few steps brought him to the Goldenes Dachl. + </p> + <p> + He forgot his hunger and his pain, seeing the sun shine on all that gold, + and the curious painted galleries under it. He thought it was real solid + gold. Real gold laid out on a house-roof,—and the people all so + poor! Findelkind began to muse, and wonder why everybody did not climb up + there and take a tile off and be rich? But perhaps it would be wicked. + Perhaps God put the roof there with all that gold to prove people. + Findelkind got bewildered. + </p> + <p> + If God did such a thing, was it kind? + </p> + <p> + His head seemed to swim, and the sunshine went round and round with him. + There went by him, just then, a very venerable-looking old man with silver + hair; he was wrapped in a long cloak. Findelkind pulled at the coat + gently, and the old man looked down. + </p> + <p> + "What is it, my boy?" he asked. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind answered, "I came out to get gold: may I take it off that + roof?" + </p> + <p> + "It is not gold, child, it is gilding." + </p> + <p> + "What is gilding?" + </p> + <p> + "It is a thing made to look like gold; that is all." + </p> + <p> + "It is a lie, then!" + </p> + <p> + The old man smiled. "Well, nobody thinks so. If you like to put it so, + perhaps it is. What do you want gold for, you wee thing?" + </p> + <p> + "To build a monastery, and house the poor." + </p> + <p> + The old man's face scowled and grew dark, for he was a Lutheran pastor + from Bavaria. + </p> + <p> + "Who taught you such trash?" he said, crossly. + </p> + <p> + "It is not trash. It is faith." + </p> + <p> + And Findelkind's face began to burn, and his blue eyes to darken and + moisten. There was a little crowd beginning to gather, and the crowd was + beginning to laugh. There were many soldiers and rifle-shooters in the + throng, and they jeered and joked, and made fun of the old man in the long + cloak, who grew angry then with the child. "You are a little idolater and + a little impudent sinner!" he said, wrathfully, and shook the boy by the + shoulder, and went away, and the throng that had gathered around had only + poor Findelkind left to tease. + </p> + <p> + He was a very poor little boy indeed to look at, with his sheepskin tunic, + and his bare feet and legs, and his wallet that never was to get filled. + </p> + <p> + "Where do you come from, and what do you want?" they asked; and he + answered, with a sob in his voice: + </p> + <p> + "I want to do like Findelkind of Arlberg." + </p> + <p> + And then the crowd laughed, not knowing at all what he meant, but laughing + just because they did not know, as crowds always will do. And only the big + dogs that are so very big in this country, and are all loose, and free, + and good-natured citizens, came up to him kindly, and rubbed against him, + and made friends; and at that tears came into his eyes, and his courage + rose, and he lifted his head. + </p> + <p> + "You are cruel people to laugh," he said, indignantly; "the dogs are + kinder. People did not laugh at Findelkind. He was a little boy just like + me, no better and no bigger, and as poor, and yet he had so much faith, + and the world then was so good, that he left his sheep, and got money + enough to build a church and a hospice to Christ and St. Christopher. And + I want to do the same for the poor. Not for myself, no; for the poor! I am + Findelkind too, and Findelkind of Arlberg that is in heaven speaks to me." + </p> + <p> + Then he stopped, and a sob rose again in his throat. + </p> + <p> + "He is crazy!" said the people, laughing, yet a little scared; for the + priest at Zirl had said rightly, this is not an age of faith. At that + moment there sounded, coming from the barracks, that used to be the + Schloss in the old days of Kaiser Max and Mary of Burgundy, the sound of + drums and trumpets and the tramp of marching feet. It was one of the corps + of Jagers of Tyrol, going down from the avenue to the Rudolfplatz, with + their band before them and their pennons streaming. It was a familiar + sight, but it drew the street-throngs to it like magic: the age is not + fond of dreamers, but it is very fond of drums. In almost a moment the old + dark arcades and the river-side and the passages near were all empty, + except for the women sitting at their stalls of fruit or cakes, or toys. + They are wonderful old arched arcades, like the cloisters of a cathedral + more than anything else, and the shops under them are all homely and + simple,—shops of leather, of furs, of clothes, of wooden playthings, + of sweet and wholesome bread. They are very quaint, and kept by poor folks + for poor folks; but to the dazed eyes of Findelkind they looked like a + forbidden paradise, for he was so hungry and so heart-broken, and he had + never seen any bigger place than little Zirl. + </p> + <p> + He stood and looked wistfully, but no one offered him anything. Close by + was a stall of splendid purple grapes, but the old woman that kept it was + busy knitting. She only called to him to stand out of her light. + </p> + <p> + "You look a poor brat; have you a home?" said another woman, who sold + bridles and whips and horses' bells, and the like. + </p> + <p> + "Oh, yes, I have a home,—by Martinswand," said Findelkind, with a + sigh. + </p> + <p> + The woman looked at him sharply. "Your parents have sent you on an errand + here?" + </p> + <p> + "No; I have run away." + </p> + <p> + "Run away? Oh, you bad boy!—unless, indeed,—are they cruel to + you?" + </p> + <p> + "No; very good." + </p> + <p> + "Are you a little rogue, then, or a thief?" + </p> + <p> + "You are a bad woman to think such things," said Findelkind, hotly, + knowing himself on how innocent and sacred a quest he was. + </p> + <p> + "Bad? I? Oh, ho!" said the old dame, cracking one of her new whips in the + air, "I should like to make you jump about with this, you thankless little + vagabond. Be off!" + </p> + <p> + Findelkind sighed again, his momentary anger passing; for he had been born + with a gentle temper, and thought himself to blame much more readily than + he thought other people were,—as, indeed, every wise child does, + only there are so few children—or men—that are wise. + </p> + <p> + He turned his head away from the temptation of the bread and fruit stalls, + for in truth hunger gnawed him terribly, and wandered a little to the + left. From where he stood he could see the long, beautiful street of + Teresa, with its oriels and arches, painted windows and gilded signs, and + the steep, gray, dark mountains closing it in at the distance; but the + street frightened him, it looked so grand, and he knew it would tempt him; + so he went where he saw the green tops of some high elms and beeches. The + trees, like the dogs, seemed like friends. It was the human creatures that + were cruel. + </p> + <p> + At that moment there came out of the barrack gates, with great noise of + trumpets and trampling of horses, a group of riders in gorgeous uniforms, + with sabres and chains glancing and plumes tossing. It looked to + Findelkind like a group of knights,—those knights who had helped and + defended his namesake with their steel and their gold in the old days of + the Arlberg quest. His heart gave a great leap, and he jumped on the dust + for joy, and he ran forward and fell on his knees and waved his cap like a + little mad thing, and cried out: + </p> + <p> + "Oh, dear knights! oh, great soldiers! help me! Fight for me, for the love + of the saints! I have come all the way from Martinswand, and I am + Findelkind, and I am trying to serve St. Christopher like Findelkind of + Arlberg." + </p> + <p> + But his little swaying body and pleading hands and shouting voice and + blowing curls frightened the horses; one of them swerved and very nearly + settled the woes of Findelkind for ever and aye by a kick. The soldier who + rode the horse reined him in with difficulty. He was at the head of the + little staff, being indeed no less or more than the general commanding the + garrison, which in this city is some fifteen thousand strong. An orderly + sprang from his saddle and seized the child, and shook him, and swore at + him. Findelkind was frightened; but he shut his eyes and set his teeth, + and said to himself that the martyrs must have had very much worse than + these things to suffer in their pilgrimage. He had fancied these riders + were knights, such knights as the priest had shown him the likeness of in + old picture-books, whose mission it had been to ride through the world + succouring the weak and weary, and always defending the right. + </p> + <p> + "What are your swords for, if you are not knights?" he cried, desperately + struggling in his captor's grip, and seeing through his half-closed lids + the sunshine shining on steel scabbards. + </p> + <p> + "What does he want?" asked the officer in command of the garrison, whose + staff all this bright and martial array was. He was riding out from the + barracks to an inspection on the Rudolfplatz. He was a young man, and had + little children himself, and was half amused, half touched, to see the + tiny figure of the little dusty boy. + </p> + <p> + "I want to build a monastery, like Findelkind of Arlberg, and to help the + poor," said our Findelkind, valorously, though his heart was beating like + that of a little mouse caught in a trap; for the horses were trampling up + the dust around him, and the orderly's grip was hard. + </p> + <p> + The officers laughed aloud; and indeed he looked a poor little scrap of a + figure, very ill able to help even himself. + </p> + <p> + "Why do you laugh?" cried Findelkind, losing his terror in his + indignation, and inspired with the courage which a great earnestness + always gives. "You should not laugh. If you were true knights, you would + not laugh; you would fight for me. I am little, I know,—I am very + little,—but he was no bigger than I; and see what great things he + did. But the soldiers were good in those days; they did not laugh and use + bad words—" + </p> + <p> + And Findelkind, on whose shoulder the orderly's hold was still fast, faced + the horses, which looked to him as huge as Martinswand, and the swords, + which he little doubted were to be sheathed in his heart. + </p> + <p> + The officers stared, laughed again, then whispered together, and + Findelkind heard them say the word "crazed." Findelkind, whose quick + little ears were both strained like a mountain leveret's, understood that + the great men were saying among themselves that it was not safe for him to + be about alone, and that it would be kinder to him to catch and cage him,—the + general view with which the world regards enthusiasts. + </p> + <p> + He heard, he understood; he knew that they did not mean to help him, these + men with the steel weapons and the huge steeds, but that they meant to + shut him up in a prison—he, little free-born, forest-fed Findelkind. + He wrenched himself out of the soldier's grip, as the rabbit wrenches + itself out of the jaws of the trap even at the cost of leaving a limb + behind, shot between the horses' legs, doubled like a hunted thing, and + spied a refuge. Opposite the avenue of gigantic poplars and pleasant + stretches of grass shaded by other bigger trees, there stands a very + famous church, famous alike in the annals of history and of art,—the + church of the Franciscans, that holds the tomb of Kaiser Max, though, + alas! it holds not his ashes, as his dying desire was that it should. The + church stands here, a noble, sombre place, with the Silver Chapel of + Philippina Wessler adjoining it, and in front the fresh cool avenues that + lead to the river and broad water-meadows and the grand Hall road bordered + with the painted stations of the Cross. + </p> + <p> + There were some peasants coming in from the country driving cows, and some + burghers in their carts, with fat, slow horses; some little children were + at play under the poplars and the elms; great dogs were lying about on the + grass; everything was happy and at peace, except the poor throbbing heart + of little Findelkind, who thought the soldiers were coming after him to + lock him up as mad, and ran and ran as fast as his trembling legs would + carry him, making for sanctuary, as, in the old bygone days that he loved, + many a soul less innocent than his had done. The wide doors of the + Hofkirche stood open, and on the steps lay a black-and-tan hound, watching + no doubt for its master or mistress, who had gone within to pray. + Findelkind, in his terror, vaulted over the dog, and into the church + tumbled headlong. + </p> + <p> + It seemed quite dark, after the brilliant sunshine on the river and the + grass; his forehead touched the stone floor as he fell, and as he raised + himself and stumbled forward, reverent and bareheaded, looking for the + altar to cling to when the soldiers should enter to seize him, his + uplifted eyes fell on the great tomb. + </p> + <p> + The tomb seems entirely to fill the church, as, with its twenty-four + guardian figures around it, it towers up in the twilight that reigns here + even at midday. There are a stern majesty and grandeur in it which dwarf + every other monument and mausoleum. It is grim, it is rude, it is savage, + with the spirit of the rough ages that created it; but it is great with + their greatness, it is heroic with their heroism, it is simple with their + simplicity. + </p> + <p> + As the awestricken eyes of the terrified child fell on the mass of stone + and bronze, the sight smote him breathless. The mailed warriors standing + around it, so motionless, so solemn, filled him with a frozen, nameless + fear. He had never a doubt that they were the dead arisen. The foremost + that met his eyes were Theodoric and Arthur; the next, grim Rudolf, father + of a dynasty of emperors. There, leaning on their swords, the three gazed + down on him, armoured, armed, majestic, serious, guarding the empty grave, + which to the child, who knew nothing of its history, seemed a bier; and at + the feet of Theodoric, who alone of them all looked young and merciful, + poor little desperate Findelkind fell with a piteous sob, and cried, "I am + not mad! Indeed, indeed, I am not mad!" + </p> + <p> + He did not know that these grand figures were but statues of bronze. He + was quite sure they were the dead, arisen, and meeting there, around that + tomb on which the solitary kneeling knight watched and prayed, encircled, + as by a wall of steel, by these his comrades. He was not frightened, he + was rather comforted and stilled, as with a sudden sense of some deep calm + and certain help. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind, without knowing that he was like so many dissatisfied poets + and artists much bigger than himself, dimly felt in his little tired mind + how beautiful and how gorgeous and how grand the world must have been when + heroes and knights like these had gone by in its daily sunshine and its + twilight storms. No wonder Findelkind of Arlberg had found his pilgrimage + so fair, when if he had needed any help he had only had to kneel and clasp + these firm, mailed limbs, these strong cross-hilted swords, in the name of + Christ and of the poor. + </p> + <p> + Theodoric seemed to look down on him with benignant eyes from under the + raised visor; and our poor Findelkind, weeping, threw his small arms + closer and closer around the bronze knees of the heroic figure, and sobbed + aloud, "Help me, help me! Oh, turn the hearts of the people to me, and + help me to do good!" + </p> + <p> + But Theodoric answered nothing. + </p> + <p> + There was no sound in the dark, hushed church; the gloom grew darker over + Findelkind's eyes; the mighty forms of monarchs and of heroes grew dim + before his sight. He lost consciousness, and fell prone upon the stones at + Theodoric's feet; for he had fainted from hunger and emotion. + </p> + <p> + When he awoke it was quite evening; there was a lantern held over his + head; voices were muttering curiously and angrily; bending over him were + two priests, a sacristan of the church, and his own father. His little + wallet lay by him on the stones, always empty. + </p> + <p> + "Boy of mine! were you mad?" cried his father, half in rage, half in + tenderness. "The chase you have led me!—and your mother thinking you + were drowned!—and all the working day lost, running after old + women's tales of where they had seen you! Oh, little fool, little fool! + What was amiss with Martinswand, that you must leave it?" + </p> + <p> + Findelkind slowly and feebly rose, and sat up on the pavement, and looked + up, not at his father, but at the knight Theodoric. + </p> + <p> + "I thought they would help me to keep the poor," he muttered, feebly, as + he glanced at his own wallet. "And it is empty,—empty." + </p> + <p> + "And are we not poor enough?" cried his father, with natural impatience, + ready to tear his hair with vexation at having such a little idiot for a + son. "Must you rove afield to find poverty to help, when it sits cold + enough, the Lord knows, at our own hearth? Oh, little ass, little dolt, + little maniac, fit only for a madhouse, talking to iron figures and taking + them for real men! What have I done, O heaven, that I should be afflicted + thus?" + </p> + <p> + And the poor man wept, being a good affectionate soul, but not very wise, + and believing that his boy was mad. Then, seized with sudden rage once + more, at thought of his day all wasted, and its hours harassed and + miserable through searching for the lost child, he plucked up the light, + slight figure of Findelkind in his own arms, and, with muttered thanks and + excuses to the sacristan of the church, bore the boy out with him into the + evening air, and lifted him into a cart, which stood there with a horse + harnessed to one side of the pole, as the country-people love to do, to + the risk of their own lives and their neighbours'. Findelkind said never a + word; he was as dumb as Theodoric had been to him; he felt stupid, heavy, + half blind; his father pushed him some bread, and he ate it by sheer + instinct, as a lost animal will do; the cart jogged on, the stars shone, + the great church vanished in the gloom of night. + </p> + <p> + As they went through the city toward the riverside along the homeward way, + never a word did his father, who was a silent man at all times, address to + him. Only once, as they jogged over the bridge, he spoke. + </p> + <p> + "Son," he asked, "did you run away truly thinking to please God and help + the poor?" + </p> + <p> + "Truly I did!" answered Findelkind, with a sob in his throat. + </p> + <p> + "Then thou wert an ass!" said his father. "Didst never think of thy + mother's love and of my toil? Look at home." + </p> + <p> + Findelkind was mute. The drive was very long, backward by the same way, + with the river shining in the moonlight, and the mountains half covered + with the clouds. + </p> + <p> + It was ten by the bells of Zirl when they came once more under the solemn + shadow of grave Martinswand. There were lights moving about his house, his + brothers and sisters were still up, his mother ran out into the road, + weeping and laughing with fear and joy. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind himself said nothing. + </p> + <p> + He hung his head. + </p> + <p> + They were too fond of him to scold him or to jeer at him; they made him go + quickly to his bed, and his mother made him a warm milk posset, and kissed + him. + </p> + <p> + "We will punish thee tomorrow, naughty and cruel one," said his parent. + "But thou art punished enough already, for in thy place little Stefan had + the sheep, and he has lost Katte's lambs,—the beautiful twin lambs! + I dare not tell thy father tonight. Dost hear the poor thing mourn? Do not + go afield for thy duty again." + </p> + <p> + A pang went through the heart of Findelkind, as if a knife had pierced it. + He loved Katte better than almost any other living thing, and she was + bleating under his window childless and alone. They were such beautiful + lambs, too!—lambs that his father had promised should never be + killed, but be reared to swell the flock. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind cowered down in his bed, and felt wretched beyond all + wretchedness. He had been brought back; his wallet was empty; and Katte's + lambs were lost. He could not sleep. + </p> + <p> + His pulses were beating like so many steam-hammers; he felt as if his body + were all one great throbbing heart. His brothers, who lay in the same + chamber with him, were sound asleep; very soon his father and mother + snored also, on the other side of the wall. Findelkind was alone wide + awake, watching the big white moon sail past his little casement, and + hearing Katte bleat. + </p> + <p> + Where were her poor twin lambs? + </p> + <p> + The night was bitterly cold, for it was already far on in autumn; the + rivers had swollen and flooded many fields, the snow for the last week had + fallen quite low down on the mountainsides. + </p> + <p> + Even if still living, the little lambs would die, out on such a night + without the mother or food and shelter of any sort. Findelkind, whose + vivid brain always saw everything that he imagined as if it were being + acted before his eyes, in fancy saw his two dear lambs floating dead down + the swollen tide, entangled in rushes on the flooded shore, or fallen with + broken limbs upon a crest of rocks. He saw them so plainly that scarcely + could he hold back his breath from screaming aloud in the still night and + answering the mourning wail of the desolate mother. + </p> + <p> + At last he could bear it no longer: his head burned, and his brain seemed + whirling round; at a bound he leaped out of bed quite noiselessly, slid + into his sheepskins, and stole out as he had done the night before, hardly + knowing what he did. Poor Katte was mourning in the wooden shed with the + other sheep, and the wail of her sorrow sounded sadly across the loud roar + of the rushing river. + </p> + <p> + The moon was still high. + </p> + <p> + Above, against the sky, black and awful with clouds floating over its + summit, was the great Martinswand. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind this time called the big dog Waldmar to him, and, with the dog + beside him, went once more out into the cold and the gloom, whilst his + father and mother, his brothers and sisters, wore sleeping, and poor + childless Katte alone was awake. + </p> + <p> + He looked up at the mountain and then across the water-swept meadows to + the river. He was in doubt which way to take. Then he thought that in all + likelihood the lambs would have been seen if they had wandered the river + way, and even little Stefan would have had too much sense to let them go + there. So he crossed the road and began to climb Martinswand. + </p> + <p> + With the instinct of the born mountaineer, he had brought out his crampons + with him, and had now fastened them on his feet; he knew every part and + ridge of the mountains, and had more than once climbed over to that very + spot where Kaiser Max had hung in peril of his life. + </p> + <p> + On second thoughts he bade Waldmar go back to the house. The dog was a + clever mountaineer, too, but Findelkind did not wish to lead him into + danger. "I have done the wrong, and I will bear the brunt," he said to + himself; for he felt as if he had killed Katte's children, and the weight + of the sin was like lead on his heart, and he would not kill good Waldmar, + too. + </p> + <p> + His little lantern did not show much light, and as he went higher upwards + he lost sight of the moon. The cold was nothing to him, because the clear + still air was that in which he had been reared; and the darkness he did + not mind, because he was used to that also; but the weight of sorrow upon + him he scarcely knew how to bear, and how to find two tiny lambs in this + vast waste of silence and shadow would have puzzled and wearied older + minds than his. Garibaldi and all his household, old soldiers tried and + true, sought all night once upon Caprera in such a quest, in vain. + </p> + <p> + If he could only have awakened his brother Stefan to ask him which way + they had gone! but then, to be sure, he remembered, Stefan must have told + that to all those who had been looking for the lambs from sunset to + nightfall. All alone he began the ascent. + </p> + <p> + Time and again, in the glad spring-time and the fresh summer weather, he + had driven his flock upwards to eat the grass that grew, in the clefts of + the rocks and on the broad green alps. The sheep could not climb to the + highest points; but the goats did, and he with them. Time and again he had + lain on his back in these uppermost heights, with the lower clouds behind + him and the black wings of the birds and the crows almost touching his + forehead, as he lay gazing up into the blue depth of the sky, and + dreaming, dreaming, dreaming. + </p> + <p> + He would never dream any more now, he thought to himself. His dreams had + cost Katte her lambs, and the world of the dead Findelkind was gone for + ever: gone were all the heroes and knights; gone all the faith and the + force; gone every one who cared for the dear Christ and the poor in pain. + </p> + <p> + The bells of Zirl were ringing midnight. Findelkind heard, and wondered + that only two hours had gone by since his mother had kissed him in his + bed. It seemed to him as if long, long nights had rolled away, and he had + lived a hundred years. + </p> + <p> + He did not feel any fear of the dark calm night, lit now and then by + silvery gleams of moon and stars. The mountain was his old familiar + friend, and the ways of it had no more terror for him than these hills + here used to have for the bold heart of Kaiser Max. Indeed, all he thought + of was Katte,—Katte and the lambs. He knew the way that the + sheep-tracks ran; the sheep could not climb so high as the goats; and he + knew, too, that little Stefan could not climb so high as he. So he began + his search low down upon Martinswand. + </p> + <p> + After midnight the cold increased; there were snow-clouds hanging near, + and they opened over his head, and the soft snow came flying along. For + himself he did not mind it, but alas for the lambs!—if it covered + them, how would he find them? And if they slept in it, they were dead. + </p> + <p> + It was bleak and bare on the mountain-side, though there were still + patches of grass such as the flocks liked, that had grown since the hay + was cut. The frost of the night made the stone slippery, and even the + irons gripped it with difficulty; and there was a strong wind rising like + a giant's breath, and blowing his small horn lantern to and fro. + </p> + <p> + Now and then he quaked a little with fear,—not fear of the night or + the mountains, but of strange spirits and dwarfs and goblins of ill + repute, said to haunt Martinswand after nightfall. Old women had told him + of such things, though the priest always said that they were only foolish + tales, there being nothing on God's earth wicked save men and women who + had not clean hearts and hands. Findelkind believed the priest; still, all + alone on the side of the mountain with the snowflakes flying around him, + he felt a nervous thrill that made him tremble and almost turn backward. + Almost, but not quite; for he thought of Katte and the poor little lambs + lost—and perhaps dead—through his fault. + </p> + <p> + The path went zigzag and was very steep; the Arolla pines swayed their + boughs in his face; stones that lay in his path unseen in the gloom made + him stumble. Now and then a large bird of the night flew by with a rushing + sound; the air grew so cold that all Martinswand might have been turning + to one huge glacier. All at once he heard through the stillness—for + there is nothing so still as a mountainside in snow—a little pitiful + bleat. All his terrors vanished; all his memories of ghost-tales passed + away; his heart gave a leap of joy; he was sure it was the cry of the + lambs. He stopped to listen more surely. He was now many score of feet + above the level of his home and of Zirl; he was, as nearly as he could + judge, half-way as high as where the cross in the cavern marks the spot of + the Kaiser's peril. The little bleat sounded above him, very feeble and + faint. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind set his lantern down, braced himself up by drawing tighter his + old leathern girdle, set his sheepskin cap firm on his forehead, and went + toward the sound as far as he could judge that it might be. He was out of + the woods now; there were only a few straggling pines rooted here and + there in a mass of loose-lying rock and slate; so much he could tell by + the light of the lantern, and the lambs by the bleating, seemed still + above him. + </p> + <p> + It does not, perhaps, seem very hard labour to hunt about by a dusky light + upon a desolate mountainside; but when the snow is falling fast,—when + the light is only a small circle, wavering, yellowish on the white,—when + around is a wilderness of loose stones and yawning clefts,—when the + air is ice and the hour is past midnight,—the task is not a light + one for a man; and Findelkind was a child, like that Findelkind that was + in heaven. + </p> + <p> + Long, very long was his search; he grew hot and forgot all fear except a + spasm of terror lest his light should burn low and die out. The bleating + had quite ceased now, and there was not even a sigh to guide him; but he + knew that near him the lambs must be, and he did not waver or despair. + </p> + <p> + He did not pray; praying in the morning had been no use; but he trusted in + God, and he laboured hard, toiling to and fro, seeking in every nook and + behind each stone, and straining every muscle and nerve, till the sweat + rolled in a briny dew off his forehead, and his curls dripped with wet. At + last, with a scream of joy, he touched some soft close wool that gleamed + white as the white snow. He knelt down on the ground, and peered behind + the stone by the full light of his lantern; there lay the little lambs,—two + little brothers, twin brothers, huddled close together, asleep. Asleep? He + was sure they were asleep, for they were so silent and still. + </p> + <p> + He bowed over them, and kissed them, and laughed, and cried, and kissed + them again. Then a sudden horror smote him; they were so very still. There + they lay, cuddled close, one on another, one little white head on each + little white body,—drawn closer than ever together, to try and get + warm. + </p> + <p> + He called to them, he touched them, then he caught them up in his arms, + and kissed them again, and again, and again. Alas! they were frozen and + dead. Never again would they leap in the long green grass, and frisk with + each other, and lie happy by Katte's side; they had died calling for their + mother, and in the long, cold, cruel night, only death had answered. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind did not weep, or scream, or tremble; his heart seemed frozen, + like the dead lambs. + </p> + <p> + It was he who had killed them. + </p> + <p> + He rose up and gathered them in his arms, and cuddled them in the skirts + of his sheepskin tunic, and cast his staff away that he might carry them, + and so, with their weight, set his face to the snow and the wind once + more, and began his downward way. + </p> + <p> + Once a great sob shook him; that was all. Now he had no fear. + </p> + <p> + The night might have been noonday, the snow-storm might have been summer, + for aught that he knew or cared. + </p> + <p> + Long and weary was the way, and often he stumbled and had to rest; often + the terrible sleep of the snow lay heavy on his eyelids, and he longed to + lie down and be at rest, as the little brothers were; often it seemed to + him that he would never reach home again. But he shook the lethargy off + him, and resisted the longing, and held on his way; he knew that his + mother would mourn for him as Katte mourned for the lambs. At length, + through all difficulty and danger, when his light had spent itself, and + his strength had well-nigh spent itself too, his feet touched the old + highroad. There were flickering torches and many people, and loud cries + around the church, as there had been four hundred years before, when the + last sacrament had been said in the valley for the hunter-king in peril + above. + </p> + <p> + His mother, being sleepless and anxious, had risen long before it was + dawn, and had gone to the children's chamber, and had found the bed of + Findelkind empty once more. + </p> + <p> + He came into the midst of the people with the two little lambs in his + arms, and he heeded neither the outcries of neighbours nor the frenzied + joy of his mother; his eyes looked straight before him, and his face was + white like the snow. + </p> + <p> + "I killed them," he said, and then two great tears rolled down his cheeks + and fell on the little cold bodies of the two little dead brothers. + </p> + <p> + Findelkind was very ill for many nights and many days after that. + </p> + <p> + Whenever he spoke in his fever he always said, "I killed them!" + </p> + <p> + Never anything else. + </p> + <p> + So the dreary winter months went by, while the deep snow filled up lands + and meadows, and covered the great mountains from summit to base, and all + around Martinswand was quite still, and now and then the post went by to + Zirl, and on the holy-days the bells tolled; that was all. His mother sat + between the stove and his bed with a sore heart; and his father, as he + went to and fro between the walls of beaten snow from the wood-shed to the + cattle-byre, was sorrowful, thinking to himself the child would die, and + join that earlier Findelkind whose home was with the saints. + </p> + <p> + But the child did not die. + </p> + <p> + He lay weak and wasted and almost motionless a long time; but slowly, as + the springtime drew near, and the snows on the lower hills loosened, and + the abounding waters coursed green and crystal clear down all the sides of + the hills, Findelkind revived as the earth did, and by the time the new + grass was springing, and the first blue of the gentian gleamed on the + alps, he was well. + </p> + <p> + But to this day he seldom plays and scarcely ever laughs. His face is sad, + and his eyes have a look of trouble. + </p> + <p> + Sometimes the priest of Zirl says of him to others, "He will be a great + poet or a great hero some day." Who knows? + </p> + <p> + Meanwhile, in the heart of the child there remains always a weary pain, + that lies on his childish life as a stone may lie on a flower. + </p> + <p> + "I killed them!" he says often to himself, thinking of the two little + white brothers frozen to death on Martinswand that cruel night; and he + does the things that are told him, and is obedient, and tries to be + content with the humble daily duties that are his lot, and when he says + his prayers at bedtime always ends them so: + </p> + <p> + "Dear God, do let the little lambs play with the other Findelkind that is + in heaven." + </p> + <p> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </p> + <div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1367 ***</div> +</body> +</html> |