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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13650 ***
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which
+      includes the original illustrations and music clips as well as
+      midi, pdf, and lilypond files.
+      See 13650-h.htm or 13650-h.zip:
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/5/13650/13650-h/13650-h.htm)
+      or
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/5/13650/13650-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOOKS
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+With all the Original Illustrations
+
+1894
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+PUBLISHERS' NOTICE.
+The first _Book of Nonsense_ was published in 1846. Three other volumes,--
+_Nonsense Songs, Stories, etc._, published in 1871; _More Nonsense
+Pictures, etc._, in 1872; and _Laughable Lyrics: A Fresh Book of Nonsense,
+etc._, in 1877,--comprise all the "Nonsense Books" written by Mr. Lear.
+
+
+
+
+  "Surely the most beneficent and innocent of all books
+  yet produced is the _Book of Nonsense_, with its corollary
+  carols, inimitable and refreshing, and perfect in rhythm.
+  I really don't know any author to whom I am half so
+  grateful for my idle self as Edward Lear. I shall put
+  him first of my hundred authors."
+
+  JOHN RUSKIN,
+
+    In the _List of the Best Hundred Authors_.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: EDWARD LEAR. ENGRAVED BY ANDREW FROM A PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN IN
+SAN REMO, BY RONCAROLO.]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+   I.   A BOOK OF NONSENSE.
+   II.  NONSENSE SONGS, STORIES, BOTANY, AND ALPHABETS.
+   III. MORE NONSENSE PICTURES, RHYMES, BOTANY, ETC.
+   IV.  LAUGHABLE LYRICS:
+        A FRESH BOOK OF NONSENSE POEMS, SONGS, BOTANY, ETC.
+
+
+[Illustration: QUI LEGIT REGIT.]
+
+
+
+
+The following lines by Mr. Lear were written for a young lady of his
+acquaintance, who had quoted to him the words of a young lady not of his
+acquaintance,
+
+  "How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"
+
+      "How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"
+        Who has written such volumes of stuff!
+      Some think him ill-tempered and queer,
+        But a few think him pleasant enough.
+
+      His mind is concrete and fastidious,
+        His nose is remarkably big;
+      His visage is more or less hideous,
+        His beard it resembles a wig.
+
+      He has ears, and two eyes, and ten fingers,
+        Leastways if you reckon two thumbs;
+      Long ago he was one of the singers,
+        But now he is one of the dumbs.
+
+      He sits in a beautiful parlor,
+        With hundreds of books on the wall;
+      He drinks a great deal of Marsala,
+        But never gets tipsy at all.
+
+      He has many friends, lay men and clerical,
+        Old Foss is the name of his cat;
+      His body is perfectly spherical,
+        He weareth a runcible hat.
+
+      When he walks in waterproof white,
+        The children run after him so!
+      Calling out, "He's come out in his night-
+        Gown, that crazy old Englishman, oh!"
+
+      He weeps by the side of the ocean,
+        He weeps on the top of the hill;
+      He purchases pancakes and lotion,
+        And chocolate shrimps from the mill.
+
+      He reads, but he cannot speak, Spanish,
+        He cannot abide ginger beer:
+      Ere the days of his pilgrimage vanish,
+        How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+Edward Lear, the artist, Author of "Journals of a Landscape Painter" in
+various out-of-the-way countries, and of the delightful "Books of
+Nonsense," which have amused successive generations of children, died on
+Sunday, January 29, 1888, at San Remo, Italy, where he had lived for twenty
+years. Few names could evoke a wider expression of passing regret at their
+appearance in the obituary column; for until his health began to fail he
+was known to an immense and almost a cosmopolitan circle of acquaintance,
+and popular wherever he was known. Fewer still could call up in the minds
+of intimate friends a deeper and more enduring feeling of sorrow for
+personal loss, mingled with the pleasantest of memories; for it was
+impossible to know him thoroughly and not to love him. London, Rome, the
+Mediterranean countries generally, Ceylon and India, are still all dotted
+with survivors among his generation who will mourn for him affectionately,
+although his latter years were spent in comparatively close retirement. He
+was a man of striking nobility of nature, fearless, independent, energetic,
+given to forming for himself strong opinions, often hastily, sometimes
+bitterly; not always strong or sound in judgment, but always seeking after
+truth in every matter, and following it as he understood it in scorn of
+consequence; utterly unselfish, devoted to his friends, generous even to
+extravagance towards any one who had ever been connected with his fortunes
+or his travels; playful, light-hearted, witty, and humorous, but not
+without those occasional fits of black depression and nervous irritability
+to which such temperaments are liable.
+
+Great and varied as the merits of his pictures are, Lear hardly succeeded
+in achieving any great popularity as a landscape-painter. His work was
+frequently done on private commission, and he rarely sent in pictures for
+the Academy or other exhibitions. His larger and more highly finished
+landscapes were unequal in technical perfection,--sometimes harsh or cold
+in color, or stiff in composition; sometimes full of imagination, at others
+literal and prosaic,--but always impressive reproductions of interesting or
+peculiar scenery. In later years he used in conversation to qualify himself
+as a "topographical artist;" and the definition was true, though not
+exhaustive. He had an intuitive and a perfectly trained eye for the
+character and beauty of distant mountain lines, the solemnity of rocky
+gorges, the majesty of a single mountain rising from a base of plain or
+sea; and he was equally exact in rendering the true forms of the middle
+distances and the specialties of foreground detail belonging to the various
+lands through which he had wandered as a sketcher. Some of his pictures
+show a mastery which has rarely been equalled over the difficulties of
+painting an immense plain as seen from a height, reaching straight away
+from the eye of the spectator until it is lost in a dim horizon. Sir
+Roderick Murchison used to say that he always understood the geological
+peculiarities of a country he had only studied in Lear's sketches. The
+compliment was thoroughly justified; and it is not every landscape-painter
+to whom it could honestly be paid.
+
+The history of Lear's choice of a career was a curious one. He was the
+youngest of twenty-one children, and, through a family mischance, was
+thrown entirely on the limited resources of an elderly sister at a very
+early age. As a boy he had always dabbled in colors for his own amusement,
+and had been given to poring over the ordinary boys' books upon natural
+history. It occurred to him to try to turn his infant talents to account;
+and he painted upon cardboard a couple of birds in the style which the
+older among us remember as having been called Oriental tinting, took them
+to a small shop, and sold them for fourpence. The kindness of friends, to
+whom he was ever grateful, gave him the opportunity of more serious and
+more remunerative study, and he became a patient and accurate zoölogical
+draughtsman. Many of the birds in the earlier volumes of Gould's
+magnificent folios were drawn for him by Lear. A few years back there were
+eagles alive in the Zoölogical Gardens in Regent's Park to which Lear could
+point as old familiar friends that he had drawn laboriously from claw to
+beak fifty years before. He united with this kind of work the more
+unpleasant occupation of drawing the curiosities of disease or deformity in
+hospitals. One day, as he was busily intent on the portrait of a bird in
+the Zoölogical Gardens, an old gentleman came and looked over his shoulder,
+entered into conversation, and finally said to him, "You must come and draw
+my birds at Knowsley." Lear did not know where Knowsley was, or what it
+meant; but the old gentleman was the thirteenth Earl of Derby. The
+successive Earls of Derby have been among Lear's kindest and most generous
+patrons. He went to Knowsley, and the drawings in the "Knowsley Menagerie"
+(now a rare and highly-prized work among book collectors) are by Lear's
+hand. At Knowsley he became a permanent favorite; and it was there that he
+composed in prolific succession his charming and wonderful series of
+utterly nonsensical rhymes and drawings. Lear had already begun seriously
+to study landscape. When English winters began to threaten his health, Lord
+Derby started a subscription which enabled him to go to Rome as a student
+and artist, and no doubt gave him recommendations among Anglo-Roman
+society which laid the foundations of a numerous _clientèle_. It was in the
+Roman summers that Lear first began to exercise the taste for pictorial
+wandering which grew into a habit and a passion, to fill vivid and copious
+note-books as he went, and to illustrate them by spirited and accurate
+drawings; and his first volume of "Illustrated Excursions in Italy,"
+published in 1846, is gratefully dedicated to his Knowsley patron.
+
+Only those who have travelled with him could know what a delightful comrade
+he was to men whose tastes ran more or less parallel to his own. It was not
+everybody who could travel with him; for he was so irrepressibly anxious
+not to lose a moment of the time at his disposal for gathering into his
+garners the beauty and interest of the lands over which he journeyed, that
+he was careless of comfort and health. Calabria, Sicily, the Desert of
+Sinai, Egypt and Nubia, Greece and Albania, Palestine, Syria, Athos,
+Candia, Montenegro, Zagóri (who knows now where Zagóri is, or was?), were
+as thoroughly explored and sketched by him as the more civilized localities
+of Malta, Corsica, and Corfu. He read insatiably before starting all the
+recognized guide-books and histories of the country he intended to draw;
+and his published itineraries are marked by great strength and literary
+interest quite irrespectively of the illustrations. And he had his reward.
+It is not any ordinary journalist and sketcher who could have compelled
+from Tennyson such a tribute as lines "To E.L. on his Travels in Greece":--
+
+    "Illyrian woodlands, echoing falls
+      Of water, sheets of summer glass,
+      The long divine Peneïan pass,
+    The vast Akrokeraunian walls,
+
+    "Tomohrit, Athos, all things fair,
+      With such a pencil, such a pen,
+      You shadow forth to distant men,
+    I read and felt that I was there."
+
+Lear was a man to whom, as to Tennyson's Ulysses,
+
+    "All experience is an arch wherethrough
+    Gleams that untravelled world."
+
+After settling at San Remo, and when he was nearly sixty years old, he
+determined to visit India and Ceylon. He started once and failed, being
+taken so ill at Suez that he was obliged to return. The next year he
+succeeded, and brought away some thousands of drawings of the most striking
+views from all three Presidencies and from the tropical island. His
+appetite for travel continued to grow with what it fed upon; and although
+he hated a long sea-voyage, he used seriously to contemplate as possible a
+visit to relations in New Zealand. It may safely, however, be averred that
+no considerations would have tempted him to visit the Arctic regions.
+
+    A hard-working life, checkered by the odd adventures which happen
+    to the odd and the adventurous and pass over the commonplace; a
+    career brightened by the high appreciation of unimpeachable
+    critics; lightened, till of late, by the pleasant society and good
+    wishes of innumerable friends; saddened by the growing pressure of
+    ill health and solitude; cheered by his constant trust in the love
+    and sympathy of those who knew him best, however far away,--such
+    was the life of Edward Lear.
+
+      --_The London Saturday Review,_ Feb. 4, 1888.
+
+Among the writers who have striven with varying success during the last
+thirty or forty years to awaken the merriment of the "rising generation" of
+the time being, Mr. Edward Lear occupies the first place in seniority, if
+not in merit. The parent of modern nonsense-writers, he is distinguished
+from all his followers and imitators by the superior consistency with which
+he has adhered to his aim,--that of amusing his readers by fantastic
+absurdities, as void of vulgarity or cynicism as they are incapable of
+being made to harbor any symbolical meaning. He "never deviates into
+sense;" but those who appreciate him never feel the need of such deviation.
+He has a genius for coining absurd names and words, which, even when they
+are suggested by the exigencies of his metre, have a ludicrous
+appropriateness to the matter in hand. His verse is, with the exception of
+a certain number of cockney rhymes, wonderfully flowing and even
+melodious--or, as he would say, _meloobious_--while to all these
+qualifications for his task must finally be added the happy gift of
+pictorial expression, enabling him to double, nay, often to quadruple, the
+laughable effect of his text by an inexhaustible profusion of the quaintest
+designs. Generally speaking, these designs are, as it were, an idealization
+of the efforts of a clever child; but now and then--as in the case of the
+nonsense-botany--Mr. Lear reminds us what a genuine and graceful artist he
+really is. The advantage to a humorist of being able to illustrate his own
+text has been shown in the case of Thackeray and Mr. W.S. Gilbert, to
+mention two familiar examples; but in no other instance of such a
+combination have we discovered such geniality as is to be found in the
+nonsense-pictures of Mr. Lear. We have spoken above of the melodiousness of
+Mr. Lear's verses, a quality which renders them excellently suitable for
+musical setting, and which has not escaped the notice of the author
+himself. We have also heard effective arrangements, presumably by other
+composers, of the adventures of the Table and the Chair, and of the cruise
+of the Owl and the Pussy-cat,--the latter introduced into the "drawing-room
+entertainment" of one of the followers of John Parry. Indeed, in these days
+of adaptations, it is to be wondered at that no enterprising librettist has
+attempted to build a children's comic opera out of the materials supplied
+in the four books with which we are now concerned. The first of these,
+originally published in 1846, and brought out in an enlarged form in 1863,
+is exclusively devoted to nonsense-verses of one type. Mr. Lear is careful
+to disclaim the credit of having created this type, for he tells us in the
+preface to his third book that "the lines beginning, 'There was an old man
+of Tobago,' were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+leading itself to limitless variety for Rhymes and Pictures." Dismissing
+the further question of the authorship of "There was an old man of Tobago,"
+we propose to give a few specimens of Mr. Lear's Protean powers as
+exhibited in the variation of this simple type. Here, to begin with, is a
+favorite verse, which we are very glad to have an opportunity of giving, as
+it is often incorrectly quoted, "cocks" being substituted for "owls" in the
+third line:
+
+    "There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard!'"
+
+With the kindly fatalism which is the distinctive note of the foregoing
+stanza, the sentiment of our next extract is in vivid contrast:--
+
+
+    "There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was terribly bored by a bee;
+    When they said, 'Does it buzz?' he replied, 'Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee.'"
+
+To the foregoing verse an historic interest attaches, if, that is, we are
+right in supposing it to have inspired Mr. Gilbert with his famous
+"Nonsense-Rhyme in Blank Verse." We quote from memory:--
+
+    "There was an Old Man of St. Bees,
+    Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
+    When they asked, 'Does it hurt?' he replied, 'No, it doesn't,
+    But I thought all the while 'twas a Hornet!'"
+
+Passing over the lines referring to the "Young Person" of Crete to whom the
+epithet "ombliferous" is applied, we may be pardoned--on the ground of the
+geographical proximity of the two countries named--for quoting together two
+stanzas which in reality are separated by a good many pages:--
+
+    "There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the doors queezed her flat, she exclaimed, 'What of that?'
+    This courageous young person of Norway."
+
+    "There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, 'Weedon Station!' she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden."
+
+A noticeable feature about this first book, and one which we think is
+peculiar to it, is the harsh treatment which the eccentricities of the
+inhabitants of certain towns appear to have met with at the hands of their
+fellow-residents. No less than three people are "smashed,"--the Old Man of
+Whitehaven "who danced a quadrille with a Raven;" the Old Person of Buda;
+and the Old Man with a gong "who bumped at it all the day long," though in
+the last-named case we admit that there was considerable provocation.
+Before quitting the first "Nonsense-Book," we would point out that it
+contains one or two forms that are interesting; for instance, "scroobious,"
+which we take to be a Portmanteau word, and "spickle-speckled," a favorite
+form of reduplication with Mr. Lear, and of which the best specimen occurs
+in his last book, "He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled the bell." The second book,
+published in 1871, shows Mr. Lear in the maturity of sweet desipience, and
+will perhaps remain the favorite volume of the four to grown-up readers.
+The nonsense-songs are all good, and "The Story of the Four little Children
+who went Round the World" is the most exquisite piece of imaginative
+absurdity that the present writer is acquainted with. But before coming to
+that, let us quote a few lines from "The Jumblies," who, as all the world
+knows, went to sea in a sieve:--
+
+      "They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,
+      To a land all covered with trees.
+    And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart,
+    And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart,
+      And a hive of silvery Bees.
+    And they bought a Pig, and some green Jack-Daws,
+    And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws,
+    And forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree,
+      And no end of Stilton Cheese.
+        _Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live.
+        Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve._
+    And in twenty years they all came back,
+      In twenty years or more,
+    And every one said, 'How tall they've grown!
+    For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
+      And the hills of the Chankly Bore.'"
+
+From the pedestrian excursion of the Table and the Chair, we cannot resist
+making a brief quotation, though in this, as in every case, the inability
+to quote the drawings also is a sad drawback:--
+
+    "So they both went slowly down,
+    And walked about the town,
+    With a cheerful bumpy sound,
+    As they toddled round and round.
+    And everybody cried,
+    As they hastened to their side,
+    'See, the Table and the Chair
+    Have come out to take the air!'
+
+    "But in going down an alley
+    To a castle in a valley,
+    They completely lost their way,
+    And wandered all the day,
+    Till, to see them safely back,
+    They paid a Ducky-Quack,
+    And a Beetle and a Mouse,
+    Who took them to their house.
+
+    "Then they whispered to each other,
+    'O delightful little brother,
+    What a lovely walk we've taken!
+    Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!'
+    So the Ducky and the leetle
+    Browny-Mousy, and the Beetle
+    Dined, and danced upon their heads,
+    Till they toddled to their beds."
+
+"The Story of the Four little Children who went Round the World" follows
+next, and the account of the manner in which they occupied themselves while
+on shipboard may be transcribed for the benefit of those unfortunate
+persons who have not perused the original: "During the day-time Violet
+chiefly occupied herself in putting salt-water into a churn, while her
+three brothers churned it violently in the hope it would turn into butter,
+which it seldom if ever did." After journeying for a time, they saw some
+land at a distance, "and when they came to it they found it was an island
+made of water quite surrounded by earth. Besides that it was bordered by
+evanescent isthmuses with a great Gulf-Stream running about all over it, so
+that it was perfectly beautiful, and contained only a single tree, five
+hundred and three feet high." In a later passage, we read how "by-and-by
+the children came to a country where there were no houses, but only an
+incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks, and of a
+dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue bottles
+contained a bluebottlefly, and all these interesting animals live
+continually together in the most copious and rural harmony, nor perhaps in
+many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found."
+Our last quotation from this inimitable recital shall be from the
+description of their adventure on a great plain where they espied an object
+which "on a nearer approach and on an accurately cutaneous inspection,
+seemed to be somebody in a large white wig sitting on an arm-chair made of
+sponge-cake and oyster-shells." This turned out to be the "Co-operative
+Cauliflower," who, "while the whole party from the boat was gazing at him
+with mingled affection and disgust ... suddenly arose, and in a somewhat
+plumdomphious manner hurried off towards the setting sun, his steps
+supported by two superincumbent confidential cucumbers ... till he finally
+disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a crystal cloud of sudorific
+sand. So remarkable a sight of course impressed the four children very
+deeply; and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong sense of
+undeveloped asthma and a great appetite."
+
+In his third book, Mr. Lear takes occasion in an entertaining preface to
+repudiate the charge of harboring any ulterior motive beyond that of
+"Nonsense pure and absolute" in any of his verses or pictures, and tells a
+delightful anecdote illustrative of the "persistently absurd report" that
+the Earl of Derby was the author of the first book of "Nonsense." In this
+volume he reverts once more to the familiar form adopted in his original
+efforts, and with little falling off. It is to be remarked that the third
+division is styled "Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures," although
+there is no more rhyme than reason in any of the set. Our favorite
+illustrations are those of the "Scroobious Snake who always wore a Hat on
+his Head, for fear he should bite anybody," and the "Visibly Vicious
+Vulture who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a Volume bound in
+Vellum." In the fourth and last of Mr. Lear's books, we meet not only with
+familiar words, but personages and places,--old friends like the Jumblies,
+the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, the Quangle Wangle, the hills of the Chankly Bore,
+and the great Gromboolian plain, as well as new creations, such as the Dong
+with a luminous Nose, whose story is a sort of nonsense version of the love
+of Nausicaa for Ulysses, only that the sexes are inverted. In these verses,
+graceful fancy is so subtly interwoven with nonsense as almost to beguile
+us into feeling a real interest in Mr. Lear's absurd creations. So again in
+the Pelican chorus there are some charming lines:--
+
+    "By day we fish, and at eve we stand
+    On long bare islands of yellow sand.
+    And when the sun sinks slowly down,
+    And the great rock-walls grow dark and brown,
+    When the purple river rolls fast and dim,
+    And the ivory Ibis starlike skim,
+    Wing to wing we dance around," etc.
+
+The other nonsense-poems are all good, but we have no space for further
+quotation, and will take leave of our subject by propounding the following
+set of examination questions which a friend who is deeply versed in Mr.
+Lear's books has drawn up for us:--
+
+  1. What do you gather from a study of Mr. Lear's works to
+     have been the prevalent characteristics of the inhabitants of
+     Gretna, Prague, Thermopylae, Wick, and Hong Kong?
+
+  2. State briefly what historical events are connected with
+     Ischia, Chertsey, Whitehaven, Boulak, and Jellibolee.
+
+  3. Comment, with illustrations, upon Mr. Lear's use of the
+     following words: Runcible, propitious, dolomphious, borascible,
+     fizzgiggious, himmeltanious, tumble-dum-down, spongetaneous.
+
+  4. Enumerate accurately all the animals who lived on the
+     Quangle Wangle's Hat, and explain how the Quangle Wangle
+     was enabled at once to enlighten his five travelling companions
+     as to the true nature of the Co-operative Cauliflower.
+
+  5. What were the names of the five daughters of the Old
+     Person of China, and what was the purpose for which the
+     Old Man of the Dargle purchased six barrels of Gargle?
+
+  6. Collect notices of King Xerxes in Mr. Lear's works, and
+     state your theory, if you have any, as to the character and
+     appearance of Nupiter Piffkin.
+
+  7. Draw pictures of the Plum-pudding flea, and the Moppsikon
+     Floppsikon Bear, and state by whom waterproof tubs
+     were first used.
+
+  8.         "There was an old man at a station
+               Who made a promiscuous oration."
+
+     What bearing may we assume the foregoing couplet to have
+     upon Mr. Lear's political views?
+                                   --_The London Spectator_.
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+A BOOK OF NONSENSE
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR.
+
+With All the Original Pictures and Verses
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+There was an Old Derry down Derry, who loved to see little folks
+  merry;
+    So he made them a Book, and with laughter they shook
+      At the fun of that Derry down Derry.
+
+
+
+                 Original Dedication.
+
+                       TO THE
+ GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES
+           OF EDWARD, 13TH EARL OF DERBY,
+          THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES
+
+     (The greater part of which were originally
+         made and composed for their parents.)
+
+               Is Dedicated by the Author,
+                                          EDWARD LEAR.
+
+       London, 1862.
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a nose,
+    Who said, "If you choose to suppose
+    That my nose is too long, you are certainly wrong!"
+    That remarkable Man with a nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Smyrna,
+    Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;
+    But she seized on the Cat, and said, "Granny, burn that!
+    You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on a hill,
+    Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
+    He ran up and down in his Grandmother's gown,
+    Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chili,
+    Whose conduct was painful and silly;
+    He sate on the stairs, eating apples and pears,
+    That imprudent Old Person of Chili.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a gong,
+    Who bumped at it all the day long;
+    But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
+    Who never had more than a penny;
+    He spent all that money in onions and honey,
+    That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Columbia,
+    Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;
+    But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot,
+    Which disgusted that man of Columbia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
+    When they said, "Does it buzz?" he replied, "Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,
+    Who made a remarkable curtsey;
+    She twirled round and round, till she sank underground,
+    Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose chin
+    Resembled the point of a pin;
+    So she had it made sharp, and purchased a harp,
+    And played several tunes with her chin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a flute,--
+    A "sarpint" ran into his boot!
+    But he played day and night, till the "sarpint" took flight,
+    And avoided that Man with a flute.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
+    Whose ideas were excessively nautical;
+    She climbed up a tree to examine the sea,
+    But declared she would never leave Portugal.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ischia,
+    Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;
+    He danced hornpipes and jigs, and ate thousands of figs,
+    That lively Old Person of Ischia
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vienna,
+    Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;
+    When that did not agree, he took Camomile Tea,
+    That nasty Old Man of Vienna.
+
+    [Illustraion]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a boat,
+    Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"
+    When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint,
+    That unhappy Old Man in a boat.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Buda,
+    Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,
+    Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.
+    By smashing that Person of Buda.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
+    Who had the most curious behavior;
+    For while he was able, he slept on a table,
+    That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Hurst,
+    Who drank when he was not athirst;
+    When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"
+    That globular Person of Hurst.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Madras,
+    Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;
+    But the length of its ears so promoted his fears,
+    That it killed that Old Man of Madras.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dover,
+    Who rushed through a field of blue clover;
+    But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees,
+    So he very soon went back to Dover.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Leeds,
+    Whose head was infested with beads;
+    She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool,
+    Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cadiz,
+    Who was always polite to all ladies;
+    But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water,
+    Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Isles,
+    Whose face was pervaded with smiles;
+    He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle,
+    That amiable Man of the Isles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Basing,
+    Whose presence of mind was amazing;
+    He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed,
+    And escaped from the people of Basing.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who supposed
+    That the street door was partially closed;
+    But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats,
+    While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person whose habits
+    Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;
+    When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green,
+    Upon which he relinquished those habits.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who wore a pale plum-colored vest;
+    When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!"
+    That uneasy Old Man of the West.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Marseilles,
+    Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils:
+    They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish,
+    And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,
+    Whose shoes made a horrible creaking;
+    But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather,
+    Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose nose
+    Was so long that it reached to her toes;
+    So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady,
+    To carry that wonderful nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?"
+    This courageous Young Lady of Norway.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Apulia,
+    Whose conduct was very peculiar;
+    He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns,
+    That whimsical Man of Apulia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Quebec,--
+    A beetle ran over his neck;
+    But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!"
+    That angry Old Man of Quebec.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Bute,
+    Who played on a silver-gilt flute;
+    She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs:
+    That amusing Young Lady of Bute.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Philoe,
+    Whose conduct was scroobious and wily;
+    He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm,
+    And observed all the ruins of Philoe.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a poker,
+    Who painted his face with red ochre.
+    When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply,
+    But knocked them all down with his poker.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Prague,
+    Who was suddenly seized with the plague;
+    But they gave him some butter, which caused him to mutter,
+    And cured that Old Person of Prague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru,
+    Who watched his wife making a stew;
+    But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake
+    That unfortunate Man of Peru.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the North,
+    Who fell into a basin of broth;
+    But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook,
+    Which saved that Old Man of the North.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Troy,
+    Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,
+    Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon,
+    In sight of the city of Troy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Mold,
+    Who shrank from sensations of cold;
+    So he purchased some muffs, some furs, and some fluffs,
+    And wrapped himself well from the cold.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tring,
+    Who embellished his nose with a ring;
+    He gazed at the moon every evening in June,
+    That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Nepaul,
+    From his horse had a terrible fall;
+    But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue
+    They mended that man of Nepaul.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Nile,
+    Who sharpened his nails with a file,
+    Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly, "This comes
+    Of sharpening one's nails with a file!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,
+    So blind that he couldn't his foot see;
+    When they said, "That's your toe," he replied, "Is it so?"
+    That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Calcutta,
+    Who perpetually ate bread and butter;
+    Till a great bit of muffin, on which he was stuffing,
+    Choked that horrid Old Man of Calcutta.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
+    Who strongly objected to toads;
+    He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens,
+    That futile Old Person of Rhodes.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the South,
+    Who had an immoderate mouth;
+    But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish,
+    He was choked, that Old Man of the South.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Melrose,
+    Who walked on the tips of his toes;
+    But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present,
+    You stupid Old Man of Melrose."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Dee,
+    Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;
+    When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
+    Whose lovers completely forsook her;
+    She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"
+    Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Coblenz,
+    The length of whose legs was immense;
+    He went with one prance from Turkey to France,
+    That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
+    Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;
+    But one day, to his grief, she married a thief,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Corfu,
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown,
+    That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,
+    Who studied the works of Vitruvius;
+    When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took,
+    That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Dundee,
+    Who frequented the top of a tree;
+    When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose,
+    And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady whose folly
+    Induced her to sit in a holly;
+    Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn,
+    She quickly became melancholy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on some rocks,
+    Who shut his Wife up in a box:
+    When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt
+    You will pass all your life in that box."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rheims,
+    Who was troubled with horrible dreams;
+    So to keep him awake they fed him with cake,
+    Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
+    The smallest that ever was born;
+    But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy,
+    Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a pew,
+    Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;
+    But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces,
+    That cheerful Old Man in a pew.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
+    Who suddenly married a Quaker;
+    But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"
+    Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "How
+    Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
+    I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile,
+    Which may soften the heart of that Cow."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Troy,
+    Whom several large flies did annoy;
+    Some she killed with a thump, some she drowned at the pump,
+    And some she took with her to Troy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Hull,
+    Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
+    But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?"
+    Which distracted that virulent Bull.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dutton,
+    Whose head was as small as a button;
+    So to make it look big he purchased a wig,
+    And rapidly rushed about Dutton.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
+    I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
+    When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all;
+    It is four times as big as the bush!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Russia,
+    Who screamed so that no one could hush her;
+    Her screams were extreme,--no one heard such a scream
+    As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
+    Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
+    At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep,
+    And enchanted the city of Tyre.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Bangor,
+    Whose face was distorted with anger;
+    He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,
+    That borascible Person of Bangor.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the East,
+    Who gave all his children a feast;
+    But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,
+    That it killed that Old Man of the East.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Coast,
+    Who placidly sat on a post;
+    But when it was cold he relinquished his hold,
+    And called for some hot buttered toast.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
+    Who possessed a remarkably fat Cur;
+    His gait and his waddle were held as a model
+    To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Gretna,
+    Who rushed down the crater of Etna;
+    When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!"
+    That mendacious Old Person of Gretna.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who sat on a Horse when he reared;
+    But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,
+    You propitious Old Man with a beard!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Berlin,
+    Whose form was uncommonly thin;
+    Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,
+    So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who never could get any rest;
+    So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,
+    Which cured that Old Man of the West.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cheadle
+    Was put in the stocks by the Beadle
+    For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,
+    That horrible person of Cheadle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Anerley,
+    Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;
+    He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,
+    But returned in the evening to Anerley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Wales,
+    Who caught a large Fish without scales;
+    When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!"
+    That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Welling,
+    Whose praise all the world was a-telling;
+    She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,
+    That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tartary,
+    Who divided his jugular artery;
+    But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life!
+    Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
+    Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;
+    But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chester,
+    Whom several small children did pester;
+    They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,
+    And displeased that Old Person of Chester.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Cape,
+    Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;
+    Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,
+    Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Burton,
+    Whose answers were rather uncertain;
+    When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?"
+    That distressing Old Person of Burton.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ems
+    Who casually fell in the Thames;
+    And when he was found, they said he was drowned,
+    That unlucky Old Person of Ems.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
+    Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;
+    She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,
+    Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Poole,
+    Whose soup was excessively cool;
+    So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,
+    That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Prague,
+    Whose language was horribly vague;
+    When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!"
+    That oracular Lady of Prague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Parma,
+    Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:
+    When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!"
+    That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Sparta,
+    Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"
+    He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,
+    That wonderful Person of Sparta.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on whose nose
+    Most birds of the air could repose;
+    But they all flew away at the closing of day,
+    Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
+    Who wept when the weather was murky;
+    When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,
+    That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Aôsta
+    Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;
+    But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,
+    You invidious Old Man of Aôsta?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Crete,
+    Whose toilette was far from complete;
+    She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,
+    That ombliferous Person of Crete.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Clare,
+    Who was madly pursued by a Bear;
+    When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,
+    That unfortunate Lady of Clare.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
+    Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
+    But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,
+    That she very soon went back to Dorking.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
+    Who wished he had never been born;
+    So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,
+    That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Person of Cromer,
+    Who stood on one leg to read Homer;
+    When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,
+    Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Hague,
+    Whose ideas were excessively vague;
+    He built a balloon to examine the moon,
+    That deluded Old Man of the Hague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Spain,
+    Who hated all trouble and pain;
+    So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,
+    That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Well!
+    Will _nobody_ answer this bell?
+    I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white,
+    But nobody answers this bell!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with an Owl,
+    Who continued to bother and howl;
+    He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,
+    Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a casement,
+    Who held up his hands in amazement;
+    When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" he replied, "Not at all!"
+    That incipient Old Man in a casement.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ewell,
+    Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
+    But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,
+    Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru.
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,
+    That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, "It is just as I feared!--
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose eyes
+    Were unique as to color and size;
+    When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,
+    And started away in surprise.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
+    Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
+    She purchased some clogs, and some small spotty Dogs,
+    And frequently walked about Ryde.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose bonnet
+    Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
+    But she said, "I don't care! all the birds in the air
+    Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+NONSENSE SONGS
+
+Stories, Botany, and Alphabets
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR.
+
+With One Hundred and Fifty Illustrations
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+    NONSENSE SONGS.
+        THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT
+        THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO
+        THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY
+        THE JUMBLIES
+        THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS
+        CALICO PIE
+        MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW
+        THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS THE TABLE AND THE
+        CHAIR
+
+    NONSENSE STORIES.
+        THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD
+        THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE
+
+    NONSENSE COOKERY
+
+    NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+    NONSENSE ALPHABET, No. 1
+      "  "  No. 2
+      "  "  No. 3
+
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE SONGS.
+
+
+THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea
+      In a beautiful pea-green boat:
+    They took some honey, and plenty of money
+      Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
+    The Owl looked up to the stars above,
+      And sang to a small guitar,
+   "O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,
+        What a beautiful Pussy you are,
+          You are,
+          You are!
+      What a beautiful Pussy you are!"
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,
+      How charmingly sweet you sing!
+    Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried:
+      But what shall we do for a ring?"
+    They sailed away, for a year and a day,
+      To the land where the bong-tree grows;
+    And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,
+      With a ring at the end of his nose,
+          His nose,
+          His nose,
+      With a ring at the end of his nose.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    "Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
+      Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."
+    So they took it away, and were married next day
+      By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
+    They dined on mince and slices of quince,
+      Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
+    And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
+      They danced by the light of the moon,
+          The moon,
+          The moon,
+    They danced by the light of the moon.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    Said the Duck to the Kangaroo,
+       "Good gracious! how you hop
+    Over the fields, and the water too,
+        As if you never would stop!
+    My life is a bore in this nasty pond;
+    And I long to go out in the world beyond:
+        I wish I could hop like you,"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+   "Please give me a ride on your back,"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo:
+   "I would sit quite still, and say nothing but 'Quack'
+        The whole of the long day through;
+    And we 'd go the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee,
+    Over the land, and over the sea:
+        Please take me a ride! oh, do!"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    Said the Kangaroo to the Duck,
+       "This requires some little reflection.
+    Perhaps, on the whole, it might bring me luck;
+        And there seems but one objection;
+    Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold,
+    Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold,
+        And would probably give me the roo-
+        Matiz," said the Kangaroo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    Said the Duck, "As I sate on the rocks,
+        I have thought over that completely;
+    And I bought four pairs of worsted socks,
+        Which fit my web-feet neatly;
+    And, to keep out the cold, I've bought a cloak;
+    And every day a cigar I'll smoke;
+        All to follow my own dear true
+        Love of a Kangaroo."
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Said the Kangaroo, "I'm ready,
+        All in the moonlight pale;
+    But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady,
+        And quite at the end of my tail."
+    So away they went with a hop and a bound;
+    And they hopped the whole world three times round.
+        And who so happy, oh! who,
+        As the Duck and the Kangaroo?
+
+             [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    Once Mr. Daddy Long-legs,
+        Dressed in brown and gray,
+    Walked about upon the sands
+        Upon a summer's day:
+    And there among the pebbles,
+        When the wind was rather cold,
+    He met with Mr. Floppy Fly,
+        All dressed in blue and gold;
+    And, as it was too soon to dine,
+    They drank some periwinkle-wine,
+    And played an hour or two, or more,
+    At battlecock and shuttledore.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        To Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "Why do you never come to court?
+        I wish you 'd tell me why.
+    All gold and shine, in dress so fine,
+        You'd quite delight the court.
+    Why do you never go at all?
+        I really think you _ought_.
+    And, if you went, you'd see such sights!
+    Such rugs and jugs and candle-lights!
+    And, more than all, the king and queen,--
+    One in red, and one in green."
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    "O Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"
+        Said Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "It's true I never go to court;
+        And I will tell you why.
+    If I had six long legs like yours,
+        At once I'd go to court;
+    But, oh! I can't, because _my_ legs
+        Are so extremely short.
+    And I'm afraid the king and queen
+    (One in red, and one in green)
+    Would say aloud, 'You are not fit,
+    You Fly, to come to court a bit!'"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    "Oh, Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"
+        Said Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "I wish you 'd sing one little song,
+        One mumbian melody.
+    You used to sing so awful well
+        In former days gone by;
+    But now you never sing at all:
+        I wish you'd tell me why:
+    For, if you would, the silvery sound
+    Would please the shrimps and cockles round,
+    And all the crabs would gladly come
+    To hear you sing, 'Ah, Hum di Hum!'"
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs,
+       "I can never sing again;
+    And, if you wish, I'll tell you why,
+        Although it gives me pain.
+    For years I cannot hum a bit,
+        Or sing the smallest song;
+    And this the dreadful reason is,--
+        My legs are grown too long!
+    My six long legs, all here and there,
+    Oppress my bosom with despair;
+    And, if I stand or lie or sit,
+    I cannot sing one single bit!"
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+    So Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        And Mr. Floppy Fly
+    Sat down in silence by the sea,
+        And gazed upon the sky.
+    They said, "This is a dreadful thing!
+        The world has all gone wrong,
+    Since one has legs too short by half,
+        The other much too long.
+    One never more can go to court,
+    Because his legs have grown too short;
+    The other cannot sing a song,
+    Because his legs have grown too long!"
+
+
+                    VII.
+
+    Then Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        And Mr. Floppy Fly
+    Rushed downward to the foamy sea
+        With one sponge-taneous cry:
+    And there they found a little boat,
+        Whose sails were pink and gray;
+    And off they sailed among the waves,
+        Far and far away:
+    They sailed across the silent main,
+    And reached the great Gromboolian Plain;
+    And there they play forevermore
+    At battlecock and shuttledore.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE JUMBLIES.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    They went to sea in a sieve, they did;
+        In a sieve they went to sea:
+    In spite of all their friends could say,
+    On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
+        In a sieve they went to sea.
+    And when the sieve turned round and round,
+    And every one cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
+    They called aloud, "Our sieve ain't big;
+    But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig:
+        In a sieve we'll go to sea!"
+             Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+             Their heads are green, and their hands are blue
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    They sailed away in a sieve, they did,
+        In a sieve they sailed so fast,
+    With only a beautiful pea-green veil
+    Tied with a ribbon, by way of a sail,
+        To a small tobacco-pipe mast.
+    And every one said who saw them go,
+   "Oh! won't they be soon upset, you know?
+    For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long;
+    And, happen what may, it's extremely wrong
+        In a sieve to sail so fast."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    The water it soon came in, it did;
+        The water it soon came in:
+    So, to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
+        In a pinky paper all folded neat;
+    And they fastened it down with a pin.
+    And they passed the night in a crockery-jar;
+    And each of them said, "How wise we are!
+    Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,
+    Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,
+        While round in our sieve we spin."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    And all night long they sailed away;
+        And when the sun went down,
+    They whistled and warbled a moony song
+        To the echoing sound of a coppery gong,
+    In the shade of the mountains brown.
+   "O Timballoo! How happy we are
+    When we live in a sieve and a crockery-jar!
+    And all night long, in the moonlight pale,
+    We sail away with a pea-green sail
+        In the shade of the mountains brown."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,--
+        To a land all covered with trees:
+    And they bought an owl, and a useful cart,
+        And a pound of rice, and a cranberry-tart,
+    And a hive of silvery bees;
+    And they bought a pig, and some green jackdaws,
+    And a lovely monkey with lollipop paws,
+    And forty bottles of ring-bo-ree,
+        And no end of Stilton cheese.
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    And in twenty years they all came back,--
+        In twenty years or more;
+    And every one said, "How tall they've grown!
+        For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
+    And the hills of the Chankly Bore."
+    And they drank their health, and gave them a feast
+    Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast;
+    And every one said, "If we only live,
+    We, too, will go to sea in a sieve,
+        To the hills of the Chankly Bore."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+
+
+THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    The Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table;
+        The Sugar-tongs sate by a plate at his side;
+    And the Nutcrackers said, "Don't you wish we were able
+        Along the blue hills and green meadows to ride?
+    Must we drag on this stupid existence forever,
+        So idle and weary, so full of remorse,
+    While every one else takes his pleasure, and never
+        Seems happy unless he is riding a horse?
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    "Don't you think we could ride without being instructed,
+        Without any saddle or bridle or spur?
+    Our legs are so long, and so aptly constructed,
+        I'm sure that an accident could not occur.
+    Let us all of a sudden hop down from the table,
+        And hustle downstairs, and each jump on a horse!
+    Shall we try? Shall we go? Do you think we are able?"
+        The Sugar-tongs answered distinctly, "Of course!"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    So down the long staircase they hopped in a minute;
+        The Sugar-tongs snapped, and the Crackers said "Crack!"
+    The stable was open; the horses were in it:
+        Each took out a pony, and jumped on his back.
+    The Cat in a fright scrambled out of the doorway;
+        The Mice tumbled out of a bundle of hay;
+    The brown and white Rats, and the black ones from Norway,
+        Screamed out, "They are taking the horses away!"
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    The whole of the household was filled with amazement:
+        The Cups and the Saucers danced madly about;
+    The Plates and the Dishes looked out of the casement;
+        The Salt-cellar stood on his head with a shout;
+    The Spoons, with a clatter, looked out of the lattice;
+        The Mustard-pot climbed up the gooseberry-pies;
+    The Soup-ladle peeped through a heap of veal-patties,
+        And squeaked with a ladle-like scream of surprise.
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    The Frying-pan said, "It's an awful delusion!"
+        The Tea-kettle hissed, and grew black in the face;
+    And they all rushed downstairs in the wildest confusion
+        To see the great Nutcracker-Sugar-tong race.
+    And out of the stable, with screamings and laughter
+        (Their ponies were cream-colored, speckled with brown),
+    The Nutcrackers first, and the Sugar-tongs after;
+        Rode all round the yard, and then all round the town.
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    They rode through the street, and they rode by the station;
+        They galloped away to the beautiful shore;
+    In silence they rode, and "made no observation,"
+        Save this: "We will never go back any more!"
+    And still you might hear, till they rode out of hearing,
+        The Sugar-tongs snap, and the Crackers say "Crack!"
+    Till, far in the distance their forms disappearing,
+        They faded away; and they never came back!
+
+
+
+
+CALICO PIE.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+      Calico pie,
+      The little birds fly
+    Down to the calico-tree:
+      Their wings were blue,
+      And they sang "Tilly-loo!"
+      Till away they flew;
+        And they never came back to me!
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back,
+        They never came back to me!
+
+
+                     II.
+
+      Calico jam,
+      The little Fish swam
+    Over the Syllabub Sea.
+      He took off his hat
+      To the Sole and the Sprat,
+      And the Willeby-wat:
+        But he never came back to me;
+          He never came back,
+          He never came back,
+        He never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+                     III.
+
+      Calico ban,
+      The little Mice ran
+    To be ready in time for tea;
+      Flippity flup,
+      They drank it all up,
+      And danced in the cup:
+        But they never came back to me;
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back,
+        They never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+      Calico drum,
+      The Grasshoppers come,
+    The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee,
+      Over the ground,
+      Around and round,
+      With a hop and a bound;
+        But they never came back,
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back.
+        They never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    On a little piece of wood
+    Mr. Spikky Sparrow stood:
+    Mrs. Sparrow sate close by,
+    A-making of an insect-pie
+    For her little children five,
+    In the nest and all alive;
+    Singing with a cheerful smile,
+    To amuse them all the while,
+       "Twikky wikky wikky wee,
+        Wikky bikky twikky tee,
+            Spikky bikky bee!"
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    Mrs. Spikky Sparrow said,
+    "Spikky, darling! in my head
+    Many thoughts of trouble come,
+    Like to flies upon a plum.
+    All last night, among the trees,
+    I heard you cough, I heard you sneeze;
+    And thought I, 'It's come to that
+    Because he does not wear a hat!'
+        Chippy wippy sikky tee,
+        Bikky wikky tikky mee,
+            Spikky chippy wee!
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    "Not that you are growing old;
+    But the nights are growing cold.
+    No one stays out all night long
+    Without a hat: I'm sure it's wrong!"
+    Mr. Spikky said, "How kind,
+    Dear, you are, to speak your mind!
+    All your life I wish you luck!
+    You are, you are, a lovely duck!
+        Witchy witchy witchy wee,
+        Twitchy witchy witchy bee,
+            Tikky tikky tee!
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    "I was also sad, and thinking,
+    When one day I saw you winking,
+    And I heard you sniffle-snuffle,
+    And I saw your feathers ruffle:
+    To myself I sadly said,
+    'She's neuralgia in her head!
+    That dear head has nothing on it!
+    Ought she not to wear a bonnet?'
+        Witchy kitchy kitchy wee,
+        Spikky wikky mikky bee,
+            Chippy wippy chee!
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    "Let us both fly up to town:
+    There I'll buy you such a gown!
+    Which, completely in the fashion,
+    You shall tie a sky-blue sash on;
+    And a pair of slippers neat
+    To fit your darling little feet,
+    So that you will look and feel
+    Quite galloobious and genteel.
+        Jikky wikky bikky see,
+        Chicky bikky wikky bee,
+            Twicky witchy wee!"
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    So they both to London went,
+    Alighting on the Monument;
+    Whence they flew down swiftly--pop!
+    Into Moses' wholesale shop:
+    There they bought a hat and bonnet,
+    And a gown with spots upon it,
+    A satin sash of Cloxam blue,
+    And a pair of slippers too.
+        Zikky wikky mikky bee,
+        Witchy witchy mitchy kee,
+            Sikky tikky wee!
+
+
+                     VII.
+
+    Then, when so completely dressed,
+    Back they flew, and reached their nest.
+    Their children cried, "O ma and pa!
+    How truly beautiful you are!"
+    Said they, "We trust that cold or pain
+    We shall never feel again;
+    While, perched on tree or house or steeple,
+    We now shall look like other people.
+        Witchy witchy witchy wee,
+        Twikky mikky bikky bee,
+            Zikky sikky tee!"
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,
+      They all took a drive in the Park;
+    And they each sang a song, ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+      Before they went back in the dark.
+    Mr. Poker he sate quite upright in the coach;
+      Mr. Tongs made a clatter and clash;
+    Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch);
+      Mrs. Broom was in blue (with a sash).
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        And they all sang a song.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+   "O Shovely so lovely!" the Poker he sang,
+     "You have perfectly conquered my heart.
+    Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong! If you're pleased with my song,
+      I will feed you with cold apple-tart.
+    When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound,
+      You enrapture my life with delight,
+    Your nose is so shiny, your head is so round,
+      And your shape is so slender and bright!
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        Ain't you pleased with my song?"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+   "Alas! Mrs. Broom," sighed the Tongs in his song,
+     "Oh! is it because I'm so thin,
+    And my legs are so long,--ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!--
+      That you don't care about me a pin?
+    Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room,
+      Ah! why don't you heed my complaint?
+    Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom,
+      Because you are covered with paint?
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        You are certainly wrong."
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    Mrs. Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang,
+     "What nonsense you're singing to-day!"
+    Said the Shovel, "I'll certainly hit you a bang!"
+      Said the Broom, "And I'll sweep you away!"
+    So the coachman drove homeward as fast as he could,
+      Perceiving their anger with pain;
+    But they put on the kettle, and little by little
+      They all became happy again.
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        There's an end of my song.
+
+
+
+
+THE TABLE AND THE CHAIR.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    Said the Table to the Chair,
+    "You can hardly be aware
+    How I suffer from the heat
+    And from chilblains on my feet.
+    If we took a little walk,
+    We might have a little talk;
+    Pray let us take the air,"
+    Said the Table to the Chair.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    Said the Chair unto the Table,
+    "Now, you _know_ we are not able:
+    How foolishly you talk,
+    When you know we _cannot_ walk!"
+    Said the Table with a sigh,
+    "It can do no harm to try.
+    I've as many legs as you:
+    Why can't we walk on two?"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    So they both went slowly down,
+    And walked about the town
+    With a cheerful bumpy sound
+    As they toddled round and round;
+    And everybody cried,
+    As they hastened to their side,
+    "See! the Table and the Chair
+    Have come out to take the air!"
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    But in going down an alley,
+    To a castle in a valley,
+    They completely lost their way,
+    And wandered all the day;
+    Till, to see them safely back,
+    They paid a Ducky-quack,
+    And a Beetle, and a Mouse,
+    Who took them to their house.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    Then they whispered to each other,
+    "O delightful little brother,
+    What a lovely walk we've taken!
+    Let us dine on beans and bacon."
+    So the Ducky and the leetle
+    Browny-Mousy and the Beetle
+    Dined, and danced upon their heads
+    Till they toddled to their beds.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE STORIES.
+
+
+THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD.
+
+Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little people whose
+names were
+
+[Illustration]
+
+VIOLET, SLINGSBY, GUY, and LIONEL;
+and they all thought they should like to see the world. So they bought a
+large boat to sail quite round the world by sea, and then they were to come
+back on the other side by land. The boat was painted blue with green spots,
+and the sail was yellow with red stripes: and, when they set off, they only
+took a small Cat to steer and look after the boat, besides an elderly
+Quangle-Wangle, who had to cook the dinner and make the tea; for which
+purposes they took a large kettle.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+For the first ten days they sailed on beautifully, and found plenty to eat,
+as there were lots of fish; and they had only to take them out of the sea
+with a long spoon, when the Quangle-Wangle instantly cooked them; and the
+Pussy-Cat was fed with the bones, with which she expressed herself pleased,
+on the whole: so that all the party were very happy.
+
+During the daytime, Violet chiefly occupied herself in putting salt water
+into a churn; while her three brothers churned it violently, in the hope
+that it would turn into butter, which it seldom if ever did; and in the
+evening they all retired into the tea-kettle, where they all managed to
+sleep very comfortably, while Pussy and the Quangle-Wangle managed the
+boat.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After a time, they saw some land at a distance; and, when they came to it,
+they found it was an island made of water quite surrounded by earth.
+Besides that, it was bordered by evanescent isthmuses, with a great
+gulf-stream running about all over it; so that it was perfectly beautiful,
+and contained only a single tree, 503 feet high.
+
+When they had landed, they walked about, but found, to their great
+surprise, that the island was quite full of veal-cutlets and
+chocolate-drops, and nothing else. So they all climbed up the single high
+tree to discover, if possible, if there were any people; but having
+remained on the top of the tree for a week, and not seeing anybody, they
+naturally concluded that there were no inhabitants; and accordingly, when
+they came down, they loaded the boat with two thousand veal-cutlets and a
+million of chocolate-drops; and these afforded them sustenance for more
+than a month, during which time they pursued their voyage with the utmost
+delight and apathy.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After this they came to a shore where there were no less than sixty-five
+great red parrots with blue tails, sitting on a rail all of a row, and all
+fast asleep. And I am sorry to say that the Pussy-Cat and the
+Quangle-Wangle crept softly, and bit off the tail-feathers of all the
+sixty-five parrots; for which Violet reproved them both severely.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Notwithstanding which, she proceeded to insert all the feathers--two
+hundred and sixty in number--in her bonnet; thereby causing it to have a
+lovely and glittering appearance, highly prepossessing and efficacious.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The next thing that happened to them was in a narrow part of the sea, which
+was so entirely full of fishes that the boat could go on no farther: so
+they remained there about six weeks, till they had eaten nearly all the
+fishes, which were soles, and all ready-cooked, and covered with
+shrimp-sauce, so that there was no trouble whatever. And as the few fishes
+who remained uneaten complained of the cold, as well as of the difficulty
+they had in getting any sleep on account of the extreme noise made by the
+arctic bears and the tropical turnspits, which frequented the neighborhood
+in great numbers, Violet most amiably knitted a small woollen frock for
+several of the fishes, and Slingsby administered some opium-drops to them;
+through which kindness they became quite warm, and slept soundly.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Then they came to a country which was wholly covered with immense
+orange-trees of a vast size, and quite full of fruit. So they all landed,
+taking with them the tea-kettle, intending to gather some of the oranges,
+and place them in it. But, while they were busy about this, a most
+dreadfully high wind rose, and blew out most of the parrot-tail feathers
+from Violet's bonnet. That, however, was nothing compared with the calamity
+of the oranges falling down on their heads by millions and millions, which
+thumped and bumped and bumped and thumped them all so seriously, that they
+were obliged to run as hard as they could for their lives; besides that the
+sound of the oranges rattling on the tea-kettle was of the most fearful and
+amazing nature.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Nevertheless, they got safely to the boat, although considerably vexed and
+hurt; and the Quangle-Wangle's right foot was so knocked about, that he had
+to sit with his head in his slipper for at least a week.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+This event made them all for a time rather melancholy: and perhaps they
+might never have become less so, had not Lionel, with a most praiseworthy
+devotion and perseverance, continued to stand on one leg, and whistle to
+them in a loud and lively manner; which diverted the whole party so
+extremely that they gradually recovered their spirits, and agreed that
+whenever they should reach home, they would subscribe towards a testimonial
+to Lionel, entirely made of gingerbread and raspberries, as an earnest
+token of their sincere and grateful infection.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After sailing on calmly for several more days, they came to another
+country, where they were much pleased and surprised to see a countless
+multitude of white Mice with red eyes, all sitting in a great circle,
+slowly eating custard-pudding with the most satisfactory and polite
+demeanor.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And as the four travellers were rather hungry, being tired of eating
+nothing but soles and oranges for so long a period, they held a council as
+to the propriety of asking the Mice for some of their pudding in a humble
+and affecting manner, by which they could hardly be otherwise than
+gratified. It was agreed, therefore, that Guy should go and ask the Mice,
+which he immediately did; and the result was, that they gave a walnut-shell
+only half full of custard diluted with water. Now, this displeased Guy, who
+said, "Out of such a lot of pudding as you have got, I must say, you might
+have spared a somewhat larger quantity." But no sooner had he finished
+speaking than the Mice turned round at once, and sneezed at him in an
+appalling and vindictive manner (and it is impossible to imagine a more
+scroobious and unpleasant sound than that caused by the simultaneous
+sneezing of many millions of angry Mice); so that Guy rushed back to the
+boat, having first shied his cap into the middle of the custard-pudding, by
+which means he completely spoiled the Mice's dinner.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+By and by the four children came to a country where there were no houses,
+but only an incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks,
+and of a dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue
+bottles contained a Blue-Bottle-Fly; and all these interesting animals live
+continually together in the most copious and rural harmony: nor perhaps in
+many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found.
+Violet and Slingsby and Guy and Lionel were greatly struck with this
+singular and instructive settlement; and, having previously asked
+permission of the Blue-Bottle-Flies (which was most courteously granted),
+the boat was drawn up to the shore, and they proceeded to make tea in front
+of the bottles: but as they had no tea-leaves, they merely placed some
+pebbles in the hot water; and the Quangle-Wangle played some tunes over it
+on an accordion, by which, of course, tea was made directly, and of the
+very best quality.
+
+The four children then entered into conversation with the
+Blue-Bottle-Flies, who discoursed in a placid and genteel manner, though
+with a slightly buzzing accent, chiefly owing to the fact that they each
+held a small clothes-brush between their teeth, which naturally occasioned
+a fizzy, extraneous utterance.
+
+"Why," said Violet, "would you kindly inform us, do you reside in bottles;
+and, if in bottles at all, why not, rather, in green or purple, or, indeed,
+in yellow bottles?"
+
+To which questions a very aged Blue-Bottle-Fly answered, "We found the
+bottles here all ready to live in; that is to say, our great-great-great-
+great-great-grandfathers did: so we occupied them at once. And, when the
+winter comes on, we turn the bottles upside down, and consequently rarely
+feel the cold at all; and you know very well that this could not be the
+case with bottles of any other color than blue."
+
+"Of course it could not," said Slingsby. "But, if we may take the liberty
+of inquiring, on what do you chiefly subsist?"
+
+"Mainly on oyster-patties," said the Blue-Bottle-Fly; "and, when these are
+scarce, on raspberry vinegar and Russian leather boiled down to a jelly."
+
+"How delicious!" said Guy.
+
+To which Lionel added, "Huzz!" And all the Blue-Bottle-Flies said, "Buzz!"
+
+At this time, an elderly Fly said it was the hour for the evening-song to
+be sung; and, on a signal being given, all the Blue-Bottle-Flies began to
+buzz at once in a sumptuous and sonorous manner, the melodious and
+mucilaginous sounds echoing all over the waters, and resounding across the
+tumultuous tops of the transitory titmice upon the intervening and verdant
+mountains with a serene and sickly suavity only known to the truly
+virtuous. The Moon was shining slobaciously from the star-bespangled sky,
+while her light irrigated the smooth and shiny sides and wings and backs of
+the Blue-Bottle-Flies with a peculiar and trivial splendor, while all
+Nature cheerfully responded to the cerulean and conspicuous circumstances.
+
+In many long-after years, the four little travellers looked back to that
+evening as one of the happiest in all their lives; and it was already past
+midnight when--the sail of the boat having been set up by the
+Quangle-Wangle, the tea-kettle and churn placed in their respective
+positions, and the Pussy-Cat stationed at the helm--the children each took
+a last and affectionate farewell of the Blue-Bottle-Flies, who walked down
+in a body to the water's edge to see the travellers embark.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+As a token of parting respect and esteem, Violet made a courtesy quite down
+to the ground, and stuck one of her few remaining parrot-tail feathers into
+the back hair of the most pleasing of the Blue-Bottle-Flies; while
+Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel offered them three small boxes, containing,
+respectively, black pins, dried figs, and Epsom salts; and thus they left
+that happy shore forever.
+
+Overcome by their feelings, the four little travellers instantly jumped
+into the tea-kettle, and fell fast asleep. But all along the shore, for
+many hours, there was distinctly heard a sound of severely-suppressed sobs,
+and of a vague multitude of living creatures using their
+pocket-handkerchiefs in a subdued simultaneous snuffle, lingering sadly
+along the walloping waves as the boat sailed farther and farther away from
+the Land of the Happy Blue-Bottle-Flies.
+
+Nothing particular occurred for some days after these events, except that,
+as the travellers were passing a low tract of sand, they perceived an
+unusual and gratifying spectacle; namely, a large number of Crabs and
+Crawfish--perhaps six or seven hundred--sitting by the water-side, and
+endeavoring to disentangle a vast heap of pale pink worsted, which they
+moistened at intervals with a fluid composed of lavender-water and
+white-wine negus.
+
+"Can we be of any service to you, O crusty Crabbies?" said the four
+children.
+
+"Thank you kindly," said the Crabs consecutively. "We are trying to make
+some worsted mittens, but do not know how."
+
+On which Violet, who was perfectly acquainted with the art of
+mitten-making, said to the Crabs, "Do your claws unscrew, or are they
+fixtures?"
+
+"They are all made to unscrew," said the Crabs; and forthwith they
+deposited a great pile of claws close to the boat, with which Violet
+uncombed all the pale pink worsted, and then made the loveliest mittens
+with it you can imagine. These the Crabs, having resumed and screwed on
+their claws, placed cheerfully upon their wrists, and walked away rapidly
+on their hind-legs, warbling songs with a silvery voice and in a minor key.
+
+After this, the four little people sailed on again till they came to a vast
+and wide plain of astonishing dimensions, on which nothing whatever could
+be discovered at first; but, as the travellers walked onward, there
+appeared in the extreme and dim distance a single object, which on a nearer
+approach, and on an accurately cutaneous inspection, seemed to be somebody
+in a large white wig, sitting on an arm-chair made of sponge-cakes and
+oyster-shells. "It does not quite look like a human being," said Violet
+doubtfully; nor could they make out what it really was, till the
+Quangle-Wangle (who had previously been round the world) exclaimed softly
+in a loud voice, "It is the co-operative Cauliflower!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And so, in truth, it was: and they soon found that what they had taken for
+an immense wig was in reality the top of the Cauliflower; and that he had
+no feet at all, being able to walk tolerably well with a fluctuating and
+graceful movement on a single cabbage-stalk,--an accomplishment which
+naturally saved him the expense of stockings and shoes.
+
+Presently, while the whole party from the boat was gazing at him with
+mingled affection and disgust, he suddenly arose, and, in a somewhat
+plumdomphious manner, hurried off towards the setting sun,--his steps
+supported by two superincumbent confidential Cucumbers, and a large number
+of Waterwagtails proceeding in advance of him by three and three in a
+row,--till he finally disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a
+crystal cloud of sudorific sand.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+So remarkable a sight, of course, impressed the four children very deeply;
+and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong sense of
+undeveloped asthma and a great appetite.
+
+Shortly after this, the travellers were obliged to sail directly below some
+high overhanging rocks, from the top of one of which a particularly odious
+little boy, dressed in rose-colored knickerbockers, and with a pewter plate
+upon his head, threw an enormous pumpkin at the boat, by which it was
+instantly upset.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+But this upsetting was of no consequence, because all the party knew how to
+swim very well: and, in fact, they preferred swimming about till after the
+moon rose; when, the water growing chilly, they sponge-taneously entered
+the boat. Meanwhile the Quangle-Wangle threw back the pumpkin with immense
+force, so that it hit the rocks where the malicious little boy in
+rose-colored knickerbockers was sitting; when, being quite full of
+lucifer-matches, the pumpkin exploded surreptitiously into a thousand bits;
+whereon the rocks instantly took fire, and the odious little boy became
+unpleasantly hotter and hotter and hotter, till his knickerbockers were
+turned quite green, and his nose was burnt off.
+
+Two or three days after this had happened, they came to another place,
+where they found nothing at all except some wide and deep pits full of
+mulberry-jam. This is the property of the tiny, yellow-nosed Apes who
+abound in these districts, and who store up the mulberry-jam for their food
+in winter, when they mix it with pellucid pale periwinkle-soup, and serve
+it out in wedgewood china-bowls, which grow freely all over that part of
+the country. Only one of the yellow-nosed Apes was on the spot, and he was
+fast asleep; yet the four travellers and the Quangle-Wangle and Pussy were
+so terrified by the violence and sanguinary sound of his snoring, that they
+merely took a small cupful of the jam, and returned to re-embark in their
+boat without delay.
+
+What was their horror on seeing the boat (including the churn and the
+tea-kettle) in the mouth of an enormous Seeze Pyder, an aquatic and
+ferocious creature truly dreadful to behold, and, happily, only met with in
+those excessive longitudes! In a moment, the beautiful boat was bitten into
+fifty-five thousand million hundred billion bits; and it instantly became
+quite clear that Violet, Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel could no longer
+preliminate their voyage by sea.
+
+The four travellers were therefore obliged to resolve on pursuing their
+wanderings by land: and, very fortunately, there happened to pass by at
+that moment an elderly Rhinoceros, on which they seized; and, all four
+mounting on his back,--the Quangle-Wangle sitting on his horn, and holding
+on by his ears, and the Pussy-Cat swinging at the end of his tail,--they
+set off, having only four small beans and three pounds of mashed potatoes
+to last through their whole journey.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+They were, however, able to catch numbers of the chickens and turkeys and
+other birds who incessantly alighted on the head of the Rhinoceros for the
+purpose of gathering the seeds of the rhododendron-plants which grew
+there; and these creatures they cooked in the most translucent and
+satisfactory manner by means of a fire lighted on the end of the
+Rhinoceros's back. A crowd of Kangaroos and gigantic Cranes accompanied
+them, from feelings of curiosity and complacency; so that they were never
+at a loss for company, and went onward, as it were, in a sort of profuse
+and triumphant procession.
+
+Thus in less than eighteen weeks they all arrived safely at home, where
+they were received by their admiring relatives with joy tempered with
+contempt, and where they finally resolved to carry out the rest of their
+travelling-plans at some more favorable opportunity.
+
+As for the Rhinoceros, in token of their grateful adherence, they had him
+killed and stuffed directly, and then set him up outside the door of their
+father's house as a diaphanous doorscraper.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF
+THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE.
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+
+In former days,--that is to say, once upon a time,--there lived in the Land
+of Gramble-Blamble seven families. They lived by the side of the great Lake
+Pipple-Popple (one of the seven families, indeed, lived _in_ the lake), and
+on the outskirts of the city of Tosh, which, excepting when it was quite
+dark, they could see plainly. The names of all these places you have
+probably heard of; and you have only not to look in your geography-books to
+find out all about them.
+
+Now, the seven families who lived on the borders of the great Lake
+Pipple-Popple were as follows in the next chapter.
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+THE SEVEN FAMILIES.
+
+There was a family of two old Parrots and seven young Parrots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Storks and seven young Storks.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Geese and seven young Geese.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Owls and seven young Owls.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Guinea Pigs and seven young Guinea Pigs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Cats and seven young Cats.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And there was a family of two old Fishes and seven young Fishes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+THE HABITS OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES.
+
+The Parrots lived upon the Soffsky-Poffsky trees, which were beautiful to
+behold, and covered with blue leaves; and they fed upon fruit, artichokes,
+and striped beetles.
+
+The Storks walked in and out of the Lake Pipple-Popple, and ate frogs for
+breakfast, and buttered toast for tea; but on account of the extreme length
+of their legs they could not sit down, and so they walked about
+continually.
+
+The Geese, having webs to their feet, caught quantities of flies, which
+they ate for dinner.
+
+The Owls anxiously looked after mice, which they caught, and made into
+sago-puddings.
+
+The Guinea Pigs toddled about the gardens, and ate lettuces and Cheshire
+cheese.
+
+The Cats sate still in the sunshine, and fed upon sponge biscuits.
+
+The Fishes lived in the lake, and fed chiefly on boiled periwinkles.
+
+And all these seven families lived together in the utmost fun and felicity.
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+THE CHILDREN OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES ARE SENT AWAY.
+
+One day all the seven fathers and the seven mothers of the seven families
+agreed that they would send their children out to see the world.
+
+So they called them all together, and gave them each eight shillings and
+some good advice, some chocolate-drops, and a small green morocco
+pocket-book to set down their expenses in.
+
+They then particularly entreated them not to quarrel; and all the parents
+sent off their children with a parting injunction.
+
+"If," said the old Parrots, "you find a cherry, do not fight about who
+should have it."
+
+"And," said the old Storks, "if you find a frog, divide it carefully into
+seven bits, but on no account quarrel about it."
+
+And the old Geese said to the seven young Geese, "Whatever you do, be sure
+you do not touch a plum-pudding flea."
+
+And the old Owls said, "If you find a mouse, tear him up into seven slices,
+and eat him cheerfully, but without quarrelling."
+
+And the old Guinea Pigs said, "Have a care that you eat your lettuces,
+should you find any, not greedily, but calmly."
+
+And the old Cats said, "Be particularly careful not to meddle with a
+clangle-wangle if you should see one."
+
+And the old Fishes said, "Above all things, avoid eating a blue boss-woss;
+for they do not agree with fishes, and give them a pain in their toes."
+
+So all the children of each family thanked their parents; and, making in
+all forty-nine polite bows, they went into the wide world.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG PARROTS.
+
+The seven young Parrots had not gone far, when they saw a tree with a
+single cherry on it, which the oldest Parrot picked instantly; but the
+other six, being extremely hungry, tried to get it also. On which all the
+seven began to fight; and they
+scuffled,
+     and huffled,
+       and ruffled,
+         and shuffled,
+           and puffled,
+             and muffled,
+               and buffled,
+                 and duffled,
+                   and fluffled,
+                     and guffled,
+                       and bruffled,
+                         and screamed, and shrieked, and squealed,
+and squeaked, and clawed, and snapped, and bit, and bumped, and thumped,
+and dumped, and flumped each other, till they were all torn into little
+bits; and at last there was nothing left to record this painful incident
+except the cherry and seven small green feathers.
+
+And that was the vicious and voluble end of the seven young Parrots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG STORKS.
+
+When the seven young Storks set out, they walked or flew for fourteen weeks
+in a straight line, and for six weeks more in a crooked one; and after that
+they ran as hard as they could for one hundred and eight miles; and after
+that they stood still, and made a himmeltanious chatter-clatter-blattery
+noise with their bills.
+
+About the same time they perceived a large frog, spotted with green, and
+with a sky-blue stripe under each ear.
+
+So, being hungry, they immediately flew at him, and were going to divide
+him into seven pieces, when they began to quarrel as to which of his legs
+should be taken off first. One said this, and another said that; and while
+they were all quarrelling, the frog hopped away. And when they saw that he
+was gone, they began to
+  chatter-clatter,
+      blatter-platter,
+          patter-blatter,
+              matter-clatter,
+                  flatter-quatter,
+more violently than ever; and after they
+had fought for a week, they pecked each other all to little pieces, so that
+at last nothing was left of any of them except their bills.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Storks.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GEESE.
+
+When the seven young Geese began to travel, they went over a large plain,
+on which there was but one tree, and that was, a very bad one.
+
+So four of them went up to the top of it, and looked about them; while the
+other three waddled up and down, and repeated poetry, and their last six
+lessons in arithmetic, geography, and cookery.
+
+Presently they perceived, a long way off, an object of the most interesting
+and obese appearance, having a perfectly round body exactly resembling a
+boiled plum-pudding, with two little wings, and a beak, and three feathers
+growing out of his head, and only one leg.
+
+So, after a time, all the seven young Geese said to each other, "Beyond all
+doubt this beast must be a Plum-pudding Flea!"
+
+On which they incautiously began to sing aloud,
+
+       "Plum-pudding Flea,
+        Plum-pudding Flea,
+        Wherever you be,
+        Oh! come to our tree,
+    And listen, oh! listen, oh! listen to me!"
+
+And no sooner had they sung this verse than the Plum-pudding Flea began to
+hop and skip on his one leg with the most dreadful velocity, and came
+straight to the tree, where he stopped, and looked about him in a vacant
+and voluminous manner.
+
+On which the seven young Geese were greatly alarmed, and all of a
+tremble-bemble: so one of them put out his long neck, and just touched him
+with the tip of his bill; but no sooner had he done this than the
+Plum-pudding Flea skipped and hopped about more and more, and higher and
+higher; after which he opened his mouth, and, to the great surprise and
+indignation of the seven Geese, began to bark so loudly and furiously and
+terribly, that they were totally unable to bear the noise; and by degrees
+every one of them suddenly tumbled down quite dead.
+
+So that was the end of the seven young Geese.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG OWLS.
+
+When the seven young Owls set out, they sate every now and then on the
+branches of old trees, and never went far at one time.
+
+And one night, when it was quite dark, they thought they heard a mouse;
+but, as the gas-lamps were not lighted, they could not see him.
+
+So they called out, "Is that a mouse?"
+
+On which a mouse answered, "Squeaky-peeky-weeky! yes, it is!"
+
+And immediately all the young Owls threw themselves off the tree, meaning
+to alight on the ground; but they did not perceive that there was a large
+well below them, into which they all fell superficially, and were every one
+of them drowned in less than half a minute.
+
+So that was the end of the seven young Owls.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GUINEA PIGS.
+
+The seven young Guinea Pigs went into a garden full of goose-berry-bushes
+and tiggory-trees, under one of which they fell asleep. When they awoke,
+they saw a large lettuce, which had grown out of the ground while they had
+been sleeping, and which had an immense number of green leaves. At which
+they all exclaimed,--
+
+   "Lettuce! O lettuce
+    Let us, O let us,
+    O lettuce-leaves,
+    O let us leave this tree, and eat
+    Lettuce, O let us, lettuce-leaves!"
+
+And instantly the seven young Guinea Pigs rushed with such extreme force
+against the lettuce-plant, and hit their heads so vividly against its
+stalk, that the concussion brought on directly an incipient transitional
+inflammation of their noses, which grew worse and worse and worse and
+worse, till it incidentally killed them all seven.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Guinea Pigs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG CATS.
+
+The seven young Cats set off on their travels with great delight and
+rapacity. But, on coming to the top of a high hill, they perceived at a
+long distance off a Clangle-Wangle (or, as it is more properly written,
+Clangel-Wangel); and, in spite of the warning they had had, they ran
+straight up to it.
+
+(Now, the Clangle-Wangle is a most dangerous and delusive beast, and by no
+means commonly to be met with. They live in the water as well as on land,
+using their long tail as a sail when in the former element. Their speed is
+extreme; but their habits of life are domestic and superfluous, and their
+general demeanor pensive and pellucid. On summer evenings, they may
+sometimes be observed near the Lake Pipple-Popple, standing on their heads,
+and humming their national melodies. They subsist entirely on vegetables,
+excepting when they eat veal or mutton or pork or beef or fish or
+saltpetre.)
+
+The moment the Clangle-Wangle saw the seven young Cats approach, he ran
+away; and as he ran straight on for four months, and the Cats, though they
+continued to run, could never overtake him, they all gradually _died_ of
+fatigue and exhaustion, and never afterwards recovered.
+
+And this was the end of the seven young Cats.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG FISHES.
+
+The seven young Fishes swam across the Lake Pipple-Popple, and into the
+river, and into the ocean; where, most unhappily for them, they saw, on the
+fifteenth day of their travels, a bright-blue Boss-Woss, and instantly swam
+after him. But the Blue Boss-Woss plunged into a
+    perpendicular,
+        spicular,
+            orbicular,
+                quadrangular,
+                     circular depth of soft mud;
+where, in fact, his house was.
+
+And the seven young Fishes, swimming with great and uncomfortable velocity,
+plunged also into the mud quite against their will, and, not being
+accustomed to it, were all suffocated in a very short period.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Fishes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+OF WHAT OCCURRED SUBSEQUENTLY.
+
+After it was known that the
+
+            seven young Parrots,
+    and the seven young Storks,
+    and the seven young Geese,
+    and the seven young Owls,
+    and the seven young Guinea Pigs,
+    and the seven young Cats,
+    and the seven young Fishes,
+
+were all dead, then the Frog, and the Plum-pudding Flea, and the Mouse, and
+the Clangle-Wangle, and the Blue Boss-Woss, all met together to rejoice
+over their good fortune. And they collected the seven feathers of the seven
+young Parrots, and the seven bills of the seven young Storks, and the
+lettuce, and the cherry; and having placed the latter on the lettuce, and
+the other objects in a circular arrangement at their base, they danced a
+hornpipe round all these memorials until they were quite tired; after which
+they gave a tea-party, and a garden-party, and a ball, and a concert, and
+then returned to their respective homes full of joy and respect, sympathy,
+satisfaction, and disgust.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.
+
+OF WHAT BECAME OF THE PARENTS OF THE FORTY-NINE CHILDREN.
+
+BUT when the two old Parrots,
+     and the two old Storks,
+     and the two old Geese,
+     and the two old Owls,
+     and the two old Guinea Pigs,
+     and the two old Cats,
+     and the two old Fishes,
+
+became aware, by reading in the newspapers, of the calamitous extinction of
+the whole of their families, they refused all further sustenance; and,
+sending out to various shops, they purchased great quantities of Cayenne
+pepper and brandy and vinegar and blue sealing-wax, besides seven immense
+glass bottles with air-tight stoppers. And, having done this, they ate a
+light supper of brown-bread and Jerusalem artichokes, and took an
+affecting and formal leave of the whole of their acquaintance, which was
+very numerous and distinguished and select and responsible and ridiculous.
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV.
+
+CONCLUSION.
+
+And after this they filled the bottles with the ingredients for pickling,
+and each couple jumped into a separate bottle; by which effort, of course,
+they all died immediately, and became thoroughly pickled in a few minutes;
+having previously made their wills (by the assistance of the most eminent
+lawyers of the district), in which they left strict orders that the
+stoppers of the seven bottles should be carefully sealed up with the blue
+sealing-wax they had purchased; and that they themselves, in the bottles,
+should be presented to the principal museum of the city of Tosh, to be
+labelled with parchment or any other anti-congenial succedaneum, and to be
+placed on a marble table with silver-gilt legs, for the daily inspection
+and contemplation, and for the perpetual benefit, of the pusillanimous
+public.
+
+And if you ever happen to go to Gramble-Blamble, and visit that museum in
+the city of Tosh, look for them on the ninety-eighth table in the four
+hundred and twenty-seventh room of the right-hand corridor of the left wing
+of the central quadrangle of that magnificent building; for, if you do not,
+you certainly will not see them.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+                 NONSENSE COOKERY.
+
+Extract from "The Nonsense Gazette," for August, 1870.
+
+"Our readers will be interested in the following communications from our
+valued and learned contributor, Prof. Bosh, whose labors in the fields of
+culinary and botanical science are so well known to all the world. The
+first three articles richly merit to be added to the domestic cookery of
+every family: those which follow claim the attention of all botanists; and
+we are happy to be able, through Dr. Bosh's kindness, to present our
+readers with illustrations of his discoveries. All the new flowers are
+found in the Valley of Verrikwier, near the Lake of Oddgrow, and on the
+summit of the Hill Orfeltugg."
+
+
+
+THREE RECEIPTS FOR DOMESTIC COOKERY.
+
+
+TO MAKE AN AMBLONGUS PIE.
+
+Take 4 pounds (say 4-1/2 pounds) of fresh Amblongusses, and put them in a
+small pipkin.
+
+Cover them with water, and boil them for 8 hours incessantly; after which
+add 2 pints of new milk, and proceed to boil for 4 hours more.
+
+When you have ascertained that the Amblongusses are quite soft, take them
+out, and place them in a wide pan, taking care to shake them well
+previously.
+
+Grate some nutmeg over the surface, and cover them carefully with powdered
+gingerbread, curry-powder, and a sufficient quantity of Cayenne pepper.
+
+Remove the pan into the next room, and place it on the floor. Bring it back
+again, and let it simmer for three-quarters of an hour. Shake the pan
+violently till all the Amblongusses have become of a pale purple color.
+
+Then, having prepared the paste, insert the whole carefully; adding at the
+same time a small pigeon, 2 slices of beef, 4 cauliflowers, and any number
+of oysters.
+
+Watch patiently till the crust begins to rise, and add a pinch of salt from
+time to time.
+
+Serve up in a clean dish, and throw the whole out of window as fast as
+possible.
+
+
+TO MAKE CRUMBOBBLIOUS CUTLETS.
+
+Procure some strips of beef, and, having cut them into the smallest
+possible slices, proceed to cut them still smaller,--eight, or perhaps
+nine times.
+
+When the whole is thus minced, brush it up hastily with a new
+clothes-brush, and stir round rapidly and capriciously with a salt-spoon
+or a soup-ladle.
+
+Place the whole in a saucepan, and remove it to a sunny place,--say the
+roof of the house, if free from sparrows or other birds,--and leave it
+there for about a week.
+
+At the end of that time add a little lavender, some oil of almonds, and a
+few herring-bones; and then cover the whole with 4 gallons of clarified
+Crumbobblious sauce, when it will be ready for use.
+
+Cut it into the shape of ordinary cutlets, and serve up in a clean
+table-cloth or dinner-napkin.
+
+
+TO MAKE GOSKY PATTIES.
+
+Take a pig three or four years of age, and tie him by the off hind-leg to a
+post. Place 5 pounds of currants, 3 of sugar, 2 pecks of peas, 18 roast
+chestnuts, a candle, and 6 bushels of turnips, within his reach: if he eats
+these, constantly provide him with more.
+
+Then procure some cream, some slices of Cheshire cheese, 4 quires of
+foolscap paper, and a packet of black pins. Work the whole into a paste,
+and spread it out to dry on a sheet of clean brown waterproof linen.
+
+When the paste is perfectly dry, but not before, proceed to beat the pig
+violently with the handle of a large broom. If he squeals, beat him again.
+
+Visit the paste and beat the pig alternately for some days, and ascertain
+if, at the end of that period, the whole is about to turn into Gosky
+Patties.
+
+If it does not then, it never will; and in that case the pig may be let
+loose, and the whole process may be considered as finished.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Baccopipia Gracilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia.]
+
+[Illustration: Cockatooca Superba.]
+
+[Illustration: Fishia Marina.]
+
+[Illustration: Guittara Pensilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Manypeeplia Upsidownia.]
+
+[Illustration: Phattfacia Stupenda.]
+
+[Illustration: Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis.]
+
+[Illustration: Plumbunnia Nutritiosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Pollybirdia Singularis.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE ALPHABETS.
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    A was an ant
+    Who seldom stood still,
+    And who made a nice house
+    In the side of a hill.
+
+            a!
+     Nice little ant!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    B was a book
+    With a binding of blue,
+    And pictures and stories
+    For me and for you.
+
+            b!
+     Nice little book!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    C was a cat
+    Who ran after a rat;
+    But his courage did fail
+    When she seized on his tail.
+
+            c!
+      Crafty old cat!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    D was a duck
+    With spots on his back,
+    Who lived in the water,
+    And always said "Quack!"
+
+            d!
+      Dear little duck!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    E was an elephant,
+    Stately and wise:
+    He had tusks and a trunk,
+    And two queer little eyes.
+
+            e!
+    Oh, what funny small eyes!
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+
+    F was a fish
+    Who was caught in a net;
+    But he got out again,
+    And is quite alive yet.
+
+            f!
+      Lively young fish!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    G was a goat
+    Who was spotted with brown:
+    When he did not lie still
+    He walked up and down.
+
+            g!
+      Good little goat!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    H was a hat
+    Which was all on one side;
+    Its crown was too high,
+    And its brim was too wide.
+
+            h!
+      Oh, what a hat!
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    I was some ice
+    So white and so nice,
+    But which nobody tasted;
+    And so it was wasted.
+
+            i!
+    All that good ice!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+
+    J was a jackdaw
+    Who hopped up and down
+    In the principal street
+    Of a neighboring town.
+
+            j!
+     All through the town!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    K was a kite
+    Which flew out of sight,
+    Above houses so high,
+    Quite into the sky.
+
+            k
+       Fly away, kite!
+
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    L was a light
+    Which burned all the night,
+    And lighted the gloom
+    Of a very dark room.
+
+            l!
+     Useful nice light!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    M was a mill
+    Which stood on a hill,
+    And turned round and round
+    With a loud hummy sound.
+
+            m!
+      Useful old mill!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    N was a net
+    Which was thrown in the sea
+    To catch fish for dinner
+    For you and for me.
+
+            n!
+      Nice little net!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    O was an orange
+    So yellow and round:
+    When it fell off the tree,
+    It fell down to the ground.
+
+            o!
+    Down to the ground!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    P was a pig,
+    Who was not very big;
+    But his tail was too curly,
+    And that made him surly.
+
+            p!
+    Cross little pig!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a quail
+    With a very short tail;
+    And he fed upon corn
+    In the evening and morn.
+
+            q!
+    Quaint little quail!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    R was a rabbit,
+    Who had a bad habit
+    Of eating the flowers
+    In gardens and bowers.
+
+            r!
+     Naughty fat rabbit!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    S was the sugar-tongs,
+    Nippity-nee,
+    To take up the sugar
+    To put in our tea.
+
+            s!
+       Nippity-nee!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    T was a tortoise,
+    All yellow and black:
+    He walked slowly away,
+    And he never came back.
+
+            t!
+    Torty never came back!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    U was an urn
+    All polished and bright,
+    And full of hot water
+    At noon and at night.
+
+            u!
+     Useful old urn!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    V was a villa
+    Which stood on a hill,
+    By the side of a river,
+    And close to a mill.
+
+            v!
+    Nice little villa!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    W was a whale
+    With a very long tail,
+    Whose movements were frantic
+    Across the Atlantic.
+
+            w!
+   Monstrous old whale!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes,
+    Who, more than all Turks, is
+    Renowned for his fashion
+    Of fury and passion.
+
+            x!
+    Angry old Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a yew,
+    Which flourished and grew
+    By a quiet abode
+    Near the side of a road.
+
+            y!
+     Dark little yew!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Z was some zinc,
+    So shiny and bright,
+    Which caused you to wink
+    In the sun's merry light.
+
+            z!
+       Beautiful zinc!
+
+
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            a
+
+    A was once an apple-pie,
+        Pidy,
+        Widy,
+        Tidy,
+        Pidy,
+      Nice insidy,
+      Apple-pie!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            b
+
+    B was once a little bear,
+        Beary,
+        Wary,
+        Hairy,
+        Beary,
+      Taky cary,
+      Little bear!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            c
+
+    C was once a little cake,
+        Caky,
+        Baky,
+        Maky,
+        Caky,
+      Taky caky,
+      Little cake!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            d
+
+    D was once a little doll,
+        Dolly,
+        Molly,
+        Polly,
+        Nolly,
+      Nursy dolly,
+      Little doll!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            e
+
+    E was once a little eel,
+        Eely,
+        Weely,
+        Peely,
+        Eely,
+      Twirly, tweely,
+        Little eel!
+
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            f
+
+    F was once a little fish,
+        Fishy,
+        Wishy,
+        Squishy,
+        Fishy,
+      In a dishy,
+      Little fish!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            g
+
+    G was once a little goose,
+        Goosy,
+        Moosy,
+        Boosey,
+        Goosey,
+      Waddly-woosy,
+      Little goose!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            h
+
+    H was once a little hen,
+        Henny,
+        Chenny,
+        Tenny,
+        Henny.
+      Eggsy-any,
+      Little hen?
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            i
+
+    I was once a bottle of ink
+        Inky,
+        Dinky,
+        Thinky,
+        Inky,
+      Blacky minky,
+      Bottle of ink!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            j
+
+    J was once a jar of jam,
+        Jammy,
+        Mammy,
+        Clammy,
+        Jammy,
+      Sweety, swammy,
+        Jar of jam!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            k
+
+    K was once a little kite,
+        Kity,
+        Whity,
+        Flighty,
+        Kity,
+      Out of sighty,
+        Little kite!
+
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            l
+
+    L was once a little lark,
+        Larky,
+        Marky,
+        Harky,
+        Larky,
+      In the parky,
+      Little lark!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            m
+
+    M was once a little mouse,
+        Mousy,
+        Bousy,
+        Sousy,
+        Mousy,
+      In the housy,
+      Little mouse!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            n
+
+    N was once a little needle,
+        Needly,
+        Tweedly,
+        Threedly,
+        Needly,
+      Wisky, wheedly,
+      Little needle!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            o
+
+    O was once a little owl,
+        Owly,
+        Prowly,
+        Howly,
+        Owly,
+      Browny fowly,
+      Little owl!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            p
+
+    P was once a little pump,
+        Pumpy,
+        Slumpy,
+        Flumpy,
+        Pumpy,
+      Dumpy, thumpy,
+        Little pump!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            q
+
+    Q was once a little quail,
+        Quaily,
+        Faily,
+        Daily,
+        Quaily,
+      Stumpy-taily,
+      Little quail!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            r
+
+    R was once a little rose,
+        Rosy,
+        Posy,
+        Nosy,
+        Rosy,
+     Blows-y, grows-y,
+       Little rose!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            s
+
+    S was once a little shrimp,
+        Shrimpy,
+        Nimpy,
+        Flimpy,
+        Shrimpy.
+     Jumpy, jimpy,
+      Little shrimp!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            t
+
+    T was once a little thrush,
+        Thrushy,
+        Hushy,
+        Bushy,
+        Thrushy,
+      Flitty, flushy,
+      Little thrush!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            u
+
+    U was once a little urn,
+           Urny,
+           Burny,
+           Turny,
+           Urny,
+      Bubbly, burny,
+        Little urn!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            v
+
+    V was once a little vine,
+        Viny,
+        Winy,
+        Twiny,
+        Viny,
+      Twisty-twiny,
+      Little vine!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            w
+
+    W was once a whale,
+        Whaly,
+        Scaly,
+        Shaly,
+        Whaly,
+      Tumbly-taily,
+      Mighty whale!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            x
+
+    X was once a great king Xerxes,
+          Xerxy,
+          Perxy,
+          Turxy,
+          Xerxy,
+        Linxy, lurxy,
+      Great King Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            y
+
+    Y was once a little yew,
+        Yewdy,
+        Fewdy,
+        Crudy,
+        Yewdy,
+    Growdy, grewdy,
+      Little yew!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            z
+
+    Z was once a piece of zinc,
+        Tinky,
+        Winky,
+        Blinky,
+        Tinky,
+      Tinkly minky,
+      Piece of zinc!
+
+
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    A was an ape,
+    Who stole some white tape,
+    And tied up his toes
+    In four beautiful bows.
+
+            a!
+
+    Funny old ape!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    B was a bat,
+    Who slept all the day,
+    And fluttered about
+    When the sun went away.
+
+            b!
+
+    Brown little bat!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    C was a camel:
+    You rode on his hump;
+    And if you fell off,
+    You came down such a bump!
+
+
+            c!
+
+    What a high camel!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    D was a dove,
+    Who lived in a wood,
+    With such pretty soft wings,
+    And so gentle and good!
+
+            d!
+
+    Dear little dove!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    E was an eagle,
+    Who sat on the rocks,
+    And looked down on the fields
+    And the-far-away flocks.
+
+            e!
+
+    Beautiful eagle!
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    F was a fan
+    Made of beautiful stuff;
+    And when it was used,
+    It went puffy-puff-puff!
+
+            f!
+
+    Nice little fan!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    G was a gooseberry,
+    Perfectly red;
+    To be made into jam,
+    And eaten with bread.
+
+            g!
+
+    Gooseberry red!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    H was a heron,
+    Who stood in a stream:
+    The length of his neck
+    And his legs was extreme.
+
+            h!
+
+    Long-legged heron!
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    I was an inkstand,
+    Which stood on a table,
+    With a nice pen to write with
+    When we are able.
+
+            i!
+
+    Neat little inkstand!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    J was a jug,
+    So pretty and white,
+    With fresh water in it
+    At morning and night.
+
+            j!
+
+    Nice little jug!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    K was a kingfisher:
+    Quickly he flew,
+    So bright and so pretty!--
+    Green, purple, and blue.
+
+            k!
+
+    Kingfisher blue!
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    L was a lily,
+    So white and so sweet!
+    To see it and smell it
+    Was quite a nice treat.
+
+            l!
+
+    Beautiful lily!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    M was a man,
+    Who walked round and round;
+    And he wore a long coat
+    That came down to the ground.
+
+            m!
+
+    Funny old man!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    N was a nut
+    So smooth and so brown!
+    And when it was ripe,
+    It fell tumble-dum-down.
+
+            n!
+
+    Nice little nut!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    O was an oyster,
+    Who lived in his shell:
+    If you let him alone,
+    He felt perfectly well.
+
+            o!
+
+    Open-mouthed oyster!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    P was a polly,
+    All red, blue, and green,--
+    The most beautiful polly
+    That ever was seen.
+
+            p!
+
+    Poor little polly!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a quill
+    Made into a pen;
+    But I do not know where,
+    And I cannot say when.
+
+            q!
+
+    Nice little quill!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    R was a rattlesnake,
+    Rolled up so tight,
+    Those who saw him ran quickly,
+    For fear he should bite.
+
+            r!
+
+    Rattlesnake bite!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    S was a screw
+    To screw down a box;
+    And then it was fastened
+    Without any locks.
+
+            s!
+
+    Valuable screw!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    T was a thimble,
+    Of silver so bright!
+    When placed on the finger,
+    It fitted so tight!
+
+            t!
+
+    Nice little thimble!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    U was an upper-coat,
+    Woolly and warm,
+    To wear over all
+    In the snow or the storm.
+
+            u!
+
+    What a nice upper-coat!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    V was a veil
+    With a border upon it,
+    And a ribbon to tie it
+    All round a pink bonnet.
+
+            v!
+
+    Pretty green veil!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    W was a watch,
+    Where, in letters of gold,
+    The hour of the day
+    You might always behold.
+
+            w!
+
+    Beautiful watch!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes,
+    Who wore on his head
+    A mighty large turban,
+    Green, yellow, and red.
+
+            x!
+
+    Look at King Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a yak,
+    From the land of Thibet:
+    Except his white tail,
+    He was all black as jet.
+
+            y!
+
+    Look at the yak!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Z was a zebra,
+    All striped white and black;
+    And if he were tame,
+    You might ride on his back.
+
+            z!
+
+    Pretty striped zebra!
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+MORE NONSENSE
+
+Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+  NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+  ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES
+
+  TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+In offering this little book--the third of its kind--to the public, I am
+glad to take the opportunity of recording the pleasure I have received at
+the appreciation its predecessors have met with, as attested by their wide
+circulation, and by the universally kind notices of them from the Press. To
+have been the means of administering innocent mirth to thousands, may
+surely be a just motive for satisfaction, and an excuse for grateful
+expression.
+
+At the same time, I am desirous of adding a few words as to the history of
+the two previously published volumes, and more particularly of the first or
+original "Book of Nonsense," relating to which many absurd reports have
+crept into circulation, such as that it was the composition of the late
+Lord Brougham, the late Earl of Derby, etc.; that the rhymes and pictures
+are by different persons; or that the whole have a symbolical meaning,
+etc.; whereas, every one of the Rhymes was composed by myself, and every
+one of the Illustrations drawn by my own hand at the time the verses were
+made. Moreover, in no portion of these Nonsense drawings have I ever
+allowed any caricature of private or public persons to appear, and
+throughout, more care than might be supposed has been given to make the
+subjects incapable of misinterpretation: "Nonsense," pure and absolute,
+having been my aim throughout.
+
+As for the persistently absurd report of the late Earl of Derby being the
+author of the "First Book of Nonsense," I may relate an incident which
+occurred to me four summers ago, the first that gave me any insight into
+the origin of the rumor.
+
+I was on my way from London to Guildford, in a railway carriage,
+containing, besides myself, one passenger, an elderly gentleman: presently,
+however, two ladies entered, accompanied by two little boys. These, who had
+just had a copy of the "Book of Nonsense" given them, were loud in their
+delight, and by degrees infected the whole party with their mirth.
+
+"How grateful," said the old gentleman to the two ladies, "all children,
+and parents too, ought to be to the statesman who has given his time to
+composing that charming book!"
+
+(The ladies looked puzzled, as indeed was I, the author.)
+
+"Do you not know who is the writer of it?" asked the gentleman.
+
+"The name is 'Edward Lear,'" said one of the ladies.
+
+"Ah!" said the first speaker, "so it is printed; but that is only a whim of
+the real author, the Earl of Derby. 'Edward' is his Christian name, and, as
+you may see, LEAR is only EARL transposed."
+
+"But," said the lady, doubtingly, "here is a dedication to the
+great-grandchildren, grand-nephews, and grand-nieces of Edward, thirteenth
+Earl of Derby, by the author, Edward Lear."
+
+"That," replied the other, "is simply a piece of mystification; I am in a
+position to know that the whole book was composed and illustrated by Lord
+Derby himself. In fact, there is no such a person at all as Edward Lear."
+
+"Yet," said the other lady, "some friends of mine tell me they know Mr.
+Lear."
+
+"Quite a mistake! completely a mistake!" said the old gentleman, becoming
+rather angry at the contradiction; "I am well aware of what I am saying: I
+can inform you, no such a person as 'Edward Lear' exists!"
+
+Hitherto I had kept silence; but as my hat was, as well as my handkerchief
+and stick, largely marked inside with my name, and as I happened to have in
+my pocket several letters addressed to me, the temptation was too great to
+resist; so, flashing all these articles at once on my would-be
+extinguisher's attention, I speedily reduced him to silence.
+
+The second volume of Nonsense, commencing with the verses, "The Owl and the
+Pussy-Cat," was written at different times, and for different sets of
+children: the whole being collected in the course of last year, were then
+illustrated, and published in a single volume, by Mr. R.J. Bush, of 32
+Charing Cross.
+
+The contents of the third or present volume were made also at different
+intervals in the last two years.
+
+Long years ago, in days when much of my time was passed in a country house,
+where children and mirth abounded, the lines beginning, "There was an old
+man of Tobago," were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+lending itself to limitless variety for rhymes and pictures; and
+thenceforth the greater part of the original drawings and verses for the
+first "Book of Nonsense" were struck off with a pen, no assistance ever
+having been given me in any way but that of uproarious delight and welcome
+at the appearance of every new absurdity.
+
+Most of these Drawings and Rhymes were transferred to lithographic stones
+in the year 1846, and were then first published by Mr. Thomas McLean, of
+the Haymarket. But that edition having been soon exhausted, and the call
+for the "Book of Nonsense" continuing, I added a considerable number of
+subjects to those previously-published, and having caused the whole to be
+carefully reproduced in woodcuts by Messrs. Dalzell, I disposed of the
+copyright to Messrs. Routledge and Warne, by whom the volume was published
+in 1843.
+                                                              EDWARD LEAR.
+
+VILLA EMILY, SAN REMO,
+August, 1871.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Barkia Howlaloudia.]
+
+[Illustration: Enkoopia Chickabiddia.]
+
+[Illustration: Jinglia Tinkettlia.]
+
+[Illustration: Nasticreechia Krorluppia.]
+
+[Illustration: Arthbroomia Rigida.]
+
+[Illustration: Sophtsluggia Glutinosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Minspysia Deliciosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Shoebootia Utilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Stunnia Dinnerbellia.]
+
+[Illustration: Tickia Orologica.]
+
+[Illustration: Washtubbia Circularis.]
+
+[Illustration: Tigerlillia Terribilis.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Bantry,
+    Who frequently slept in the pantry;
+    When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,
+    That judicious young person of Bantry.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man at a Junction,
+    Whose feelings were wrung with compunction
+    When they said, "The Train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How forlorn!"
+    But remained on the rails of the Junction.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Minety,
+    Who purchased five hundred and ninety
+    Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares
+    At the heads of the people of Minety.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Thermopylae,
+    Who never did anything properly;
+    But they said, "If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,
+    You shall never remain in Thermopylae."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Deal,
+    Who in walking used only his heel;
+    When they said, "Tell us why?" he made no reply,
+    That mysterious old person of Deal.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man on the Humber,
+    Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;
+    When he said, "It's enough!" they only said, "Stuff!
+    You amazing old man on the Humber!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a barge,
+    Whose nose was exceedingly large;
+    But in fishing by night, it supported a light,
+    Which helped that old man in a barge.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dunrose;
+    A parrot seized hold of his nose.
+    When he grew melancholy, they said, "His name's Polly,"
+    Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Toulouse
+    Who purchased a new pair of shoes;
+    When they asked, "Are they pleasant?" he said, "Not at present!"
+    That turbid old man of Toulouse.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bree,
+    Who frequented the depths of the sea;
+    She nurs'd the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,
+    And swam back again into Bree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bromley,
+    Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;
+    He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,
+    That unpleasing old person of Bromley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Shields,
+    Who frequented the vallies and fields;
+    All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,
+    Followed after that person of Shields.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dunluce,
+    Who went out to sea on a goose:
+    When he'd gone out a mile, he observ'd with a smile,
+    "It is time to return to Dunluce."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dee-side
+    Whose hat was exceedingly wide,
+    But he said, "Do not fail, if it happen to hail,
+    To come under my hat at Dee-side!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person in black,
+    A Grasshopper jumped on his back;
+    When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,
+    That helpless old person in black.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of the Dargle
+    Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;
+    For he said, "I'll sit still, and will roll them down hill,
+    For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pinner,
+    As thin as a lath, if not thinner;
+    They dressed him in white, and roll'd him up tight,
+    That elastic old person of Pinner.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of China,
+    Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,
+    Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,
+    And all of them settled in China.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a Marsh,
+    Whose manners were futile and harsh;
+    He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,
+    That instructive old man in a Marsh.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Brill,
+    Who purchased a shirt with a frill;
+    But they said, "Don't you wish, you mayn't look like a fish,
+    You obsequious old person of Brill?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Wick,
+    Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;
+    Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he said nothing more,
+    That laconic old person of Wick.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man at a Station,
+    Who made a promiscuous oration;
+    But they said, "Take some snuff!--You have talk'd quite enough,
+    You afflicting old man at a Station!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Three Bridges,
+    Whose mind was distracted by midges,
+    He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,
+    Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Hong Kong,
+    Who never did anything wrong;
+    He lay on his back, with his head in a sack,
+    That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in green,
+    Who seldom was fit to be seen;
+    She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all,
+    Which enveloped that person in green.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Fife,
+    Who was greatly disgusted with life;
+    They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,
+    Which cured that old person of Fife.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man who screamed out
+    Whenever they knocked him about:
+    So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,
+    And continued to knock him about.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady in white,
+    Who looked out at the depths of the night;
+    But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,
+    And oppressed that young lady in white.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Slough,
+    Who danced at the end of a bough;
+    But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,
+    You imprudent old person of Slough."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Down,
+    Whose face was adorned with a frown;
+    When he opened the door, for one minute or more,
+    He alarmed all the people of Down.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in red,
+    Who carefully covered her head,
+    With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather,
+    Besides some long ribands of red.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Hove,
+    Who frequented the depths of a grove;
+    Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,
+    That tranquil old person of Hove.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in pink,
+    Who called out for something to drink;
+    But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water!"
+    Which vexed that young person in pink.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old lady of France,
+    Who taught little ducklings to dance;
+    When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they only said, "Quack!"
+    Which grieved that old lady of France.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Putney,
+    Whose food was roast spiders and chutney,
+    Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea,
+    That romantic old person of Putney.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Loo,
+    Who said, "What on earth shall I do?"
+    When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay,
+    That vexatious old person of Loo.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Woking,
+    Whose mind was perverse and provoking;
+    He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail,
+    That illusive old person of Woking.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Dean
+    Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
+    For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"
+    That cautious old person of Dean.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady in blue,
+    Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?"
+    When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!"
+    That ungracious young lady in blue.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Man in a Garden,
+    Who always begged every one's pardon;
+    When they asked him, "What for?" he replied, "You're a bore!
+    And I trust you'll go out of my garden."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pisa,
+    Whose daughters did nothing to please her;
+    She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day,
+    Round the walls of the city of Pisa.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Florence,
+    Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
+    He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,
+    Which choked that old person of Florence.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sheen,
+    Whose expression was calm and serene;
+    He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,
+    That placid old person of Sheen.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ware,
+    Who rode on the back of a bear;
+    When they ask'd, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!
+    He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Janina,
+    Whose uncle was always a fanning her;
+    When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said,
+    "You propitious old person of Janina!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Cashmere,
+    Whose movements were scroobious and queer;
+    Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,
+    And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Cassel,
+    Whose nose finished off in a tassel;
+    But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell!"
+    Which perplexed that old person of Cassel.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pett,
+    Who was partly consumed by regret;
+    He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,
+    Which relieved that old person of Pett.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Spithead,
+    Who opened the window, and said,--
+    "Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"
+    That doubtful old man of Spithead.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man on the Border,
+    Who lived in the utmost disorder;
+    He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,
+    Which vexed all the folks on the Border.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dumbree,
+    Who taught little owls to drink tea;
+    For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"
+    That amiable man of Dumbree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Filey,
+    Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
+    He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,
+    And delighted the people of Filey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man whose remorse
+    Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;
+    For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,
+    It will certainly soothe your remorse!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Ibreem,
+    Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;
+    But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue,
+    You disgusting old man of Ibreem!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Wilts,
+    Who constantly walked upon stilts;
+    He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,
+    That elegant person of Wilts.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Grange,
+    Whose manners were scroobious and strange;
+    He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,
+    That aquatic old person of Grange.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Newry,
+    Whose manners were tinctured with fury;
+    He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,
+    Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dumblane,
+    Who greatly resembled a crane;
+    But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
+    To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Port Grigor,
+    Whose actions were noted for vigour;
+    He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,
+    That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of El Hums,
+    Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
+    Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
+    In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of West Dumpet,
+    Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
+    When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,
+    And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sark,
+    Who made an unpleasant remark;
+    But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be,
+    You obnoxious old person of Sark!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man whose despair
+    Induced him to purchase a hare:
+    Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away,
+    Which partly assuaged his despair.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Barnes,
+    Whose garments were covered with darns;
+    But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out,
+    You luminous person of Barnes!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Nice,
+    Whose associates were usually Geese.
+    They walked out together in all sorts of weather,
+    That affable person of Nice!
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Greenwich,
+    Whose garments were border'd with Spinach;
+    But a large spotty Calf bit her shawl quite in half,
+    Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Cannes,
+    Who purchased three fowls and a fan;
+    Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool
+    She constantly fanned them at Cannes.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ickley,
+    Who could not abide to ride quickly;
+    He rode to Karnak on a tortoise's back,
+    That moony old person of Ickley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Hyde,
+    Who walked by the shore with his bride,
+    Till a Crab who came near fill'd their bosoms with fear,
+    And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person in gray,
+    Whose feelings were tinged with dismay;
+    She purchased two parrots, and fed them with carrots,
+    Which pleased that old person in gray.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Ancona,
+    Who found a small dog with no owner,
+    Which he took up and down all the streets of the town,
+    That anxious old man of Ancona.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sestri,
+    Who sate himself down in the vestry;
+    When they said, "You are wrong!" he merely said "Bong!"
+    That repulsive old person of Sestri.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Blythe,
+    Who cut up his meat with a scythe;
+    When they said, "Well! I never!" he cried, "Scythes for ever!"
+    That lively old person of Blythe.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Ayr,
+    Whose head was remarkably square:
+    On the top, in fine weather, she wore a gold feather;
+    Which dazzled the people of Ayr.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Rimini,
+    Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!"
+    When they said, "Please be still!" she ran down a hill,
+    And was never more heard of at Rimini.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There is a young lady, whose nose,
+    Continually prospers and grows;
+    When it grew out of sight, she exclaimed in a fright,
+    "Oh! Farewell to the end of my nose!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ealing,
+    Who was wholly devoid of good feeling;
+    He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig,
+    Which distressed all the people of Ealing.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Thames Ditton,
+    Who called out for something to sit on;
+    But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon that,
+    You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bray,
+    Who sang through the whole of the day
+    To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs,
+    That valuable person of Bray.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person whose history
+    Was always considered a mystery;
+    She sate in a ditch, although no one knew which,
+    And composed a small treatise on history.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bow,
+    Whom nobody happened to know;
+    So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope
+    You will go back directly to Bow!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Rye,
+    Who went up to town on a fly;
+    But they said, "If you cough, you are safe to fall off!
+    You abstemious old person of Rye!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Crowle,
+    Who lived in the nest of an owl;
+    When they screamed in the nest, he screamed out with the rest,
+    That depressing old person of Crowle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,
+    Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see
+    On the floor of my room, sweep it up with the broom!"
+    That exhaustive old Lady of Winchelsea!
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a tree,
+    Whose whiskers were lovely to see;
+    But the birds of the air pluck'd them perfectly bare,
+    To make themselves nests in that tree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Corsica,
+    Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur;
+    Which she fed upon ham, and hot raspberry jam,
+    That expensive young lady of Corsica.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Firle,
+    Whose hair was addicted to curl;
+    It curled up a tree, and all over the sea,
+    That expansive young lady of Firle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Stroud,
+    Who was horribly jammed in a crowd;
+    Some she slew with a kick, some she scrunched with a stick,
+    That impulsive old person of Stroud.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Boulak,
+    Who sate on a Crocodile's back;
+    But they said, "Towr'ds the night he may probably bite,
+    Which might vex you, old man of Boulak!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Skye,
+    Who waltz'd with a Bluebottle fly:
+    They buzz'd a sweet tune, to the light of the moon,
+    And entranced all the people of Skye.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Blackheath,
+    Whose head was adorned with a wreath
+    Of lobsters and spice, pickled onions and mice,
+    That uncommon old man of Blackheath.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man, who when little
+    Fell casually into a kettle;
+    But, growing too stout, he could never get out,
+    So he passed all his life in that kettle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Dundalk,
+    Who tried to teach fishes to walk;
+    When they tumbled down dead, he grew weary, and said,
+    "I had better go back to Dundalk!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Shoreham,
+    Whose habits were marked by decorum;
+    He bought an Umbrella, and sate in the cellar,
+    Which pleased all the people of Shoreham.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bar,
+    Who passed all her life in a jar,
+    Which she painted pea-green, to appear more serene,
+    That placid old person of Bar.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Kew,
+    Whose virtues and vices were few;
+    But with blamable haste she devoured some hot paste,
+    Which destroyed that young person of Kew.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Jodd,
+    Whose ways were perplexing and odd;
+    She purchased a whistle, and sate on a thistle,
+    And squeaked to the people of Jodd.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bude,
+    Whose deportment was vicious and crude;
+    He wore a large ruff of pale straw-colored stuff,
+    Which perplexed all the people of Bude.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Brigg,
+    Who purchased no end of a wig;
+    So that only his nose, and the end of his toes,
+    Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Messina,
+    Whose daughter was named Opsibeena;
+    She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig,
+    To the perfect delight of Messina.
+
+
+
+
+TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES.
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,
+    who resided in a Barrel, and only lived on
+    Soda Water and Pickled Cucumbers.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Bountiful Beetle,
+    who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn't rain,
+    and left it at home when it did.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Comfortable Confidential Cow,
+    who sate in her Red Morocco Arm Chair and
+    toasted her own Bread at the parlour Fire.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Dolomphious Duck,
+    who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner
+    with a Runcible Spoon.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Enthusiastic Elephant,
+    who ferried himself across the water with the
+    Kitchen Poker and a New pair of Ear-rings.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Fizzgiggious Fish,
+    who always walked about upon Stilts,
+    because he had no legs.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Good-natured Grey Gull,
+    who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag,
+    across the river, because he could not swim.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,
+    who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,
+    and bought a Fish for her Supper.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Inventive Indian,
+    who caught a Remarkable Rabbit in a
+    Stupendous Silver Spoon.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Judicious Jubilant Jay,
+    who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses,
+    Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Kicking Kangaroo,
+    who wore a Pale Pink Muslin dress
+    with Blue spots.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Lively Learned Lobster,
+    who mended his own Clothes with
+    a Needle and Thread.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,
+    who played a merry minuet on the
+    Piano-forte.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Nutritious Newt,
+    who purchased a Round Plum-pudding
+    for his grand-daughter.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,
+    who wore Boots to keep his
+    feet quite dry.
+
+    [Illustration: PARSNIP PIE]
+
+    The Perpendicular Purple Polly,
+    who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie
+    with his Spectacles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Queer Querulous Quail,
+    who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of
+    a Tin Tea-kettle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Rural Runcible Raven,
+    who wore a White Wig and flew away
+    with the Carpet Broom.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Scroobious Snake,
+    who always wore a Hat on his Head, for
+    fear he should bite anybody.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,
+    who beat a Drum all day long in the
+    middle of the wilderness.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,
+    whose Face nobody ever saw, because it was
+    always covered by his Umbrella.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Visibly Vicious Vulture,
+    who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a
+    Volume bound in Vellum.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,
+    who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a
+    Flute with a Morning Cap.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Excellent Double-extra XX
+    imbibing King Xerxes, who lived a
+    long while ago.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+    whose Head was ever so much bigger than his
+    Body, and whose Hat was rather small.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,
+    who carried five Monkeys on his back all
+    the way to Jellibolee.
+
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+LAUGHABLE LYRICS
+
+A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+Author of the _Book of Nonsense_, _More Nonsense_,
+_Nonsense Songs, Stories_, etc., etc.
+
+
+With All the Original Illustrations.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+    LAUGHABLE LYRICS.
+        THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE
+        THE TWO OLD BACHELORS
+        THE PELICAN CHORUS
+        THE YONGHY-BONGHY-Bò
+        THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES
+        THE NEW VESTMENTS
+        MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS
+        THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT
+        THE CUMMERBUND
+        THE AKOND OF SWAT
+
+    NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+      " ALPHABET, No. 5
+      "       "   No. 6
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+LAUGHABLE LYRICS.
+
+
+THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    When awful darkness and silence reign
+    Over the great Gromboolian plain,
+        Through the long, long wintry nights;
+    When the angry breakers roar
+    As they beat on the rocky shore;
+        When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights
+    Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,--
+
+    Then, through the vast and gloomy dark
+    There moves what seems a fiery spark,--
+        A lonely spark with silvery rays
+        Piercing the coal-black night,--
+        A Meteor strange and bright:
+    Hither and thither the vision strays,
+        A single lurid light.
+
+    Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,--
+    Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps;
+    And ever as onward it gleaming goes
+    A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.
+    And those who watch at that midnight hour
+    From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,
+    Cry, as the wild light passes along,--
+       "The Dong! the Dong!
+      The wandering Dong through the forest goes!
+        The Dong! the Dong!
+      The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
+
+        Long years ago
+      The Dong was happy and gay,
+    Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl
+      Who came to those shores one day.
+    For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,--
+    Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd
+        Where the Oblong Oysters grow,
+      And the rocks are smooth and gray.
+    And all the woods and the valleys rang
+    With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,--
+        "_Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
+          Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve._"
+
+    Happily, happily passed those days!
+      While the cheerful Jumblies staid;
+        They danced in circlets all night long,
+        To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,
+      In moonlight, shine, or shade.
+    For day and night he was always there
+    By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,
+    With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair;
+    Till the morning came of that hateful day
+    When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,
+    And the Dong was left on the cruel shore
+    Gazing, gazing for evermore,--
+    Ever keeping his weary eyes on
+    That pea-green sail on the far horizon,--
+    Singing the Jumbly Chorus still
+    As he sate all day on the grassy hill,--
+        "_Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
+          Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve_."
+
+    But when the sun was low in the West,
+        The Dong arose and said,--
+    "What little sense I once possessed
+        Has quite gone out of my head!"
+    And since that day he wanders still
+    By lake and forest, marsh and hill,
+    Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain,
+    Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!
+    For ever I'll seek by lake and shore
+    Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!"
+
+        Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,
+        Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks;
+        And because by night he could not see,
+        He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree
+          On the flowery plain that grows.
+          And he wove him a wondrous Nose,--
+        A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!
+
+    Of vast proportions and painted red,
+    And tied with cords to the back of his head.
+        In a hollow rounded space it ended
+        With a luminous Lamp within suspended,
+            All fenced about
+            With a bandage stout
+            To prevent the wind from blowing it out;
+        And with holes all round to send the light
+        In gleaming rays on the dismal night
+
+    And now each night, and all night long,
+    Over those plains still roams the Dong;
+    And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe
+    You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,
+    While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,
+    To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;
+    Lonely and wild, all night he goes,--
+    The Dong with a luminous Nose!
+    And all who watch at the midnight hour,
+    From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,
+    Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,
+    Moving along through the dreary night,--
+       "This is the hour when forth he goes,
+        The Dong with a luminous Nose!
+        Yonder, over the plain he goes,--
+            He goes!
+            He goes,--
+        The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
+
+
+
+
+THE TWO OLD BACHELORS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Two old Bachelors were living in one house;
+One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.
+Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,--
+"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house,
+Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,
+And what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money?
+And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner,
+But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?"
+
+Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,--
+"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'!
+If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;
+But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!"
+
+Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town
+And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down;
+They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found
+In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round.
+
+But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north,
+And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;
+And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,--
+An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page.
+Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all studious as he sits,--
+And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits!
+Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),--
+When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps."
+
+Those two old Bachelors without loss of time
+The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb;
+And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook,
+They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book.
+
+"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in!
+We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!"
+
+But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book,
+At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;
+And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,--
+At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town;
+And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want
+                                                          of Stuffin'),
+The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin.
+
+They left their home in silence by the once convivial door;
+And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more.
+
+
+[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans]
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+THE PELICAN CHORUS.
+
+    King and Queen of the Pelicans we;
+     No other Birds so grand we see!
+    None but we have feet like fins!
+    With lovely leathery throats and chins!
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still
+
+    We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.
+    By night we sleep on the cliffs above;
+    By day we fish, and at eve we stand
+    On long bare islands of yellow sand.
+    And when the sun sinks slowly down,
+    And the great rock walls grow dark and brown,
+
+    Where the purple river rolls fast and dim
+    And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,
+    Wing to wing we dance around,
+    Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound,
+    Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;
+    And this is the song we nightly snort,--
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    Last year came out our Daughter Dell,
+    And all the Birds received her well.
+    To do her honor a feast we made
+    For every bird that can swim or wade,--
+    Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,
+    Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,
+    Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,
+    Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:
+    Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!
+    They ate and drank and danced all night,
+    And echoing back from the rocks you heard
+    Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,--
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    Yes, they came; and among the rest
+    The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.
+    Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float
+    Between the ends of his blue dress-coat;
+    With pea-green trowsers all so neat,
+    And a delicate frill to hide his feet
+    (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows
+    He has got no webs between his toes).
+
+    As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,
+    In violent love that Crane King fell,--
+    On seeing her waddling form so fair,
+    With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair.
+    And before the end of the next long day
+    Our Dell had given her heart away;
+    For the King of the Cranes had won that heart
+    With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.
+    She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,
+    Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;
+    And away they flew in a gathering crowd
+    Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud.
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    And far away in the twilight sky
+    We heard them singing a lessening cry,--
+    Farther and farther, till out of sight,
+    And we stood alone in the silent night!
+    Often since, in the nights of June,
+    We sit on the sand and watch the moon,--
+
+    She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain,
+    And we probably never shall meet again!
+    Oft, in the long still nights of June,
+    We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,--
+    She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore.
+    And we probably never shall see her more.
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+[NOTE.--The Air of this and the following Song by Edward Lear; the
+Arrangement for the Piano by Professor Pomè, of San Remo, Italy.]
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Yonghy Bonghy Bò]
+
+
+
+THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BÃ’.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    On the Coast of Coromandel
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          In the middle of the woods
+      Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    Two old chairs, and half a candle,
+    One old jug without a handle,--
+          These were all his worldly goods:
+          In the middle of the woods,
+          These were all the worldly goods
+      Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bò.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Once, among the Bong-trees walking
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          To a little heap of stones
+      Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    There he heard a Lady talking,
+    To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,--
+        "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!
+          On that little heap of stones
+          Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+   "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!
+         Sitting where the pumpkins blow,
+           Will you come and be my wife?"
+       Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+   "I am tired of living singly--
+    On this coast so wild and shingly,--
+          I'm a-weary of my life;
+          If you'll come and be my wife,
+          Quite serene would be my life!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    "On this Coast of Coromandel
+         Shrimps and watercresses grow,
+           Prawns are plentiful and cheap,"
+       Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+   "You shall have my chairs and candle,
+    And my jug without a handle!
+          Gaze upon the rolling deep
+         (Fish is plentiful and cheap);
+          As the sea, my love is deep!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Lady Jingly answered sadly,
+         And her tears began to flow,--
+          "Your proposal comes too late,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+    I would be your wife most gladly!"
+    (Here she twirled her fingers madly,)
+         "But in England I've a mate!
+          Yes! you've asked me far too late,
+          For in England I've a mate,
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+   "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,--
+         Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.)
+           Dorking fowls delights to send,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+    Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle,
+    And your jug without a handle,--
+          I can merely be your friend!
+          Should my Jones more Dorkings send,
+          I will give you three, my friend!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bò!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+
+
+                    VII.
+
+   "Though you've such a tiny body,
+         And your head so large doth grow,--
+           Though your hat may blow away,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+    Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy,
+    Yet I wish that I could modi-
+          fy the words I needs must say!
+          Will you please to go away?
+          That is all I have to say,
+      Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bò!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!"
+
+
+                    VIII.
+
+    Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle,
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          To the calm and silent sea
+       Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle,
+    Lay a large and lively Turtle.
+         "You're the Cove," he said, "for me;
+          On your back beyond the sea,
+          Turtle, you shall carry me!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    IX.
+
+    Through the silent-roaring ocean
+        Did the Turtle swiftly go;
+          Holding fast upon his shell
+      Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    With a sad primaeval motion
+    Towards the sunset isles of Boshen
+          Still the Turtle bore him well.
+          Holding fast upon his shell,
+         "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"
+      Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    X.
+
+    From the Coast of Coromandel
+        Did that Lady never go;
+          On that heap of stones she mourns
+      For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    On that Coast of Coromandel,
+    In his jug without a handle
+        Still she weeps, and daily moans;
+        On that little heap of stones
+        To her Dorking Hens she moans,
+          For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+          For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+
+
+THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes
+        Had once as many as we;
+    When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;"
+        He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!"
+    And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink
+    Lavender water tinged with pink;
+    For she said, "The World in general knows
+    There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!"
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes,
+        Swam across the Bristol Channel;
+    But before he set out he wrapped his nose
+        In a piece of scarlet flannel.
+    For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm
+    Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;
+    And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes
+    Are safe--provided he minds his nose."
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    The Pobble swam fast and well,
+        And when boats or ships came near him,
+    He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell
+        So that all the world could hear him.
+    And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,
+    When they saw him nearing the further side,--
+   "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's
+    Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    But before he touched the shore,--
+        The shore of the Bristol Channel,
+    A sea-green Porpoise carried away
+        His wrapper of scarlet flannel.
+    And when he came to observe his feet,
+    Formerly garnished with toes so neat,
+    His face at once became forlorn
+    On perceiving that all his toes were gone!
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    And nobody ever knew,
+        From that dark day to the present,
+    Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,
+        In a manner so far from pleasant.
+    Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray,
+    Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,
+    Nobody knew; and nobody knows
+    How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes
+        Was placed in a friendly Bark,
+    And they rowed him back, and carried him up
+        To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.
+    And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,
+    Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;
+    And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,
+    That Pobbles are happier without their toes."
+
+
+
+
+THE NEW VESTMENTS.
+
+    There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,
+    Who invented a purely original dress;
+    And when it was perfectly made and complete,
+    He opened the door and walked into the street.
+
+    By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,
+    In the middle of which he inserted his head;
+    His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,
+    The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;
+    His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;
+    His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;
+    His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;
+    His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;
+    His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,
+    And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;
+    And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,
+    A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.
+
+    He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,
+    Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;
+    And from every long street and dark lane in the town
+    Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.
+    Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;
+    Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;
+    Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,
+    And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;
+    An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his
+    Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;
+    And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,
+    Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.
+    He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,
+    For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:
+    They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;
+    They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;
+    And now from the housetops with screechings descend
+    Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end:
+    They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,
+    When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;
+    They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,
+    And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;
+    They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,--
+    Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.
+
+    And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,
+   "I will not wear a similar dress any more,
+    Any more, any more, any more, never more!"
+
+
+
+
+MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS.
+
+                    I.
+
+    Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
+        Climbed to the top of a wall.
+      And they sate to watch the sunset sky,
+      And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,
+        And the Biscuit Buffalo call.
+    They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,
+    And both were as happy as happy could be,
+            Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,--
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            It has just come into my head,
+      Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!
+                        Darling Mr. Discobbolos!
+
+
+                    II.
+
+   "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,
+        Just like pieces of stone,
+      On to the thorns, or into the moat,
+      What would become of your new green coat?
+        And might you not break a bone?
+    It never occurred to me before,
+    That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"
+            And Mrs. Discobbolos said,
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            What put it into your head
+      To climb up this wall, my own
+                        Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    Mr. Discobbolos answered,
+       "At first it gave me pain,
+      And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink
+      When your exclamation made me think
+        We might never get down again!
+    But now I believe it is wiser far
+    To remain for ever just where we are."
+            And Mr. Discobbolos said,
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            It has just come into my head
+      We shall never go down again,
+                        Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
+        Stood up and began to sing,--
+     "Far away from hurry and strife
+      Here we will pass the rest of life,
+        Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!
+    We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,
+    No tables nor carpets nor household cares;
+            From worry of life we've fled;
+            Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            There is no more trouble ahead,
+      Sorrow or any such thing,
+                        For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"
+
+
+
+
+THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
+        The Quangle Wangle sat,
+    But his face you could not see,
+        On account of his Beaver Hat.
+    For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,
+    With ribbons and bibbons on every side,
+    And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,
+    So that nobody ever could see the face
+            Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    The Quangle Wangle said
+        To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
+    "Jam, and jelly, and bread
+        Are the best of food for me!
+    But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree
+    The plainer than ever it seems to me
+    That very few people come this way
+    And that life on the whole is far from gay!"
+            Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    But there came to the Crumpetty Tree
+        Mr. and Mrs. Canary;
+    And they said, "Did ever you see
+        Any spot so charmingly airy?
+    May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?
+    Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
+    O please let us come and build a nest
+    Of whatever material suits you best,
+            Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree
+        Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;
+    The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,
+        The Frog and the Fimble Fowl
+    (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);
+    And all of them said, "We humbly beg
+    We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,--
+    Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
+       Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    And the Golden Grouse came there,
+        And the Pobble who has no toes,
+    And the small Olympian bear,
+        And the Dong with a luminous nose.
+    And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,
+    And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,
+    And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,--
+    All came and built on the lovely Hat
+      Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+                    VI.
+
+    And the Quangle Wangle said
+        To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
+    "When all these creatures move
+        What a wonderful noise there'll be!"
+    And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon
+    They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,
+    On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,
+    And all were as happy as happy could be,
+      With the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+
+
+THE CUMMERBUND.
+An Indian Poem.
+
+                    I.
+
+She sate upon her Dobie,
+    To watch the Evening Star,
+And all the Punkahs, as they passed,
+    Cried, "My! how fair you are!"
+Around her bower, with quivering leaves,
+    The tall Kamsamahs grew,
+And Kitmutgars in wild festoons
+    Hung down from Tchokis blue.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+Below her home the river rolled
+    With soft meloobious sound,
+Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam,
+    In myriads circling round.
+Above, on tallest trees remote
+    Green Ayahs perched alone,
+And all night long the Mussak moan'd
+    Its melancholy tone.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+And where the purple Nullahs threw
+    Their branches far and wide,
+And silvery Goreewallahs flew
+    In silence, side by side,
+The little Bheesties' twittering cry
+    Rose on the flagrant air,
+And oft the angry Jampan howled
+    Deep in his hateful lair.
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+She sate upon her Dobie,
+    She heard the Nimmak hum,
+When all at once a cry arose,
+    "The Cummerbund is come!"
+In vain she fled: with open jaws
+    The angry monster followed,
+And so (before assistance came)
+    That Lady Fair was swollowed.
+
+
+                    V.
+
+They sought in vain for even a bone
+    Respectfully to bury;
+They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!"
+    (And Echo answered, "Very.")
+They nailed her Dobie to the wall,
+    Where last her form was seen,
+And underneath they wrote these words,
+    In yellow, blue, and green:
+"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!
+    Nor sit out late at night,
+Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,
+    And swollow you outright."
+
+
+NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874.
+
+
+
+
+THE AKOND OF SWAT.
+
+
+    Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT?
+    Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?
+    Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,             or SQUAT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
+    Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,             or HOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,
+    And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,          or TROT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?
+    Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,          or a COT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
+    Does he cross his T's and finish his I's              with a DOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Can he write a letter concisely clear
+    Without a speck or a smudge or smear                    or BLOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Do his people like him extremely well?
+    Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,                   or PLOT,
+                                                    At the Akond of Swat?
+
+    If he catches them then, either old or young,
+    Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,            or _shot_,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Do his people prig in the lanes or park?
+    Or even at times, when days are dark,                   GAROTTE?
+                                                     O the Akond of Swat!
+
+    Does he study the wants of his own dominion?
+    Or doesn't he care for public opinion                    a JOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    To amuse his mind do his people show him
+    Pictures, or any one's last new poem,                    or WHAT,
+                                                   For the Akond of Swat?
+
+    At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,
+    Do they bring him only a few small cakes,               or a LOT,
+                                                   For the Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?
+    Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,      or a DOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like to lie on his back in a boat
+    Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,            SHALLOTT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?
+    Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,           or a SCOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?
+    Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,            or a GROTT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
+    Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?              or a POT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,
+    When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,            or ROT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,
+    And tie it neat in a bow with ends,                    or a KNOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
+    When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,          or NOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
+    Does he sail about on an inland lake,                  in a YACHT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
+    Who or which or why or what
+                                                    Is the Akond of Swat!
+
+
+NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_.
+The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the
+monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia.]
+
+[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.]
+
+[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida.]
+
+[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica.]
+
+[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice.]
+
+[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum.]
+
+[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa.]
+
+[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyöides.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE ALPHABETS.
+
+
+                     A
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    A was an Area Arch
+        Where washerwomen sat;
+    They made a lot of lovely starch
+        To starch Papa's Cravat.
+
+
+                     B
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    B was a Bottle blue,
+        Which was not very small;
+    Papa he filled it full of beer,
+        And then he drank it all.
+
+
+                     C
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    C was Papa's gray Cat,
+        Who caught a squeaky Mouse;
+    She pulled him by his twirly tail
+        All about the house.
+
+
+                     D
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    D was Papa's white Duck,
+        Who had a curly tail;
+    One day it ate a great fat frog,
+        Besides a leetle snail.
+
+
+                     E
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    E was a little Egg,
+        Upon the breakfast table;
+    Papa came in and ate it up
+        As fast as he was able.
+
+
+                     F
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    F was a little Fish.
+        Cook in the river took it
+    Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!
+        And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"
+
+
+                     G
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    G was Papa's new Gun;
+        He put it in a box;
+    And then he went and bought a bun,
+        And walked about the Docks.
+
+
+                     H
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    H was Papa's new Hat;
+        He wore it on his head;
+    Outside it was completely black,
+        But inside it was red.
+
+
+                     I
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    I was an Inkstand new,
+        Papa he likes to use it;
+    He keeps it in his pocket now,
+        For fear that he should lose it.
+
+
+                     J
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    J was some Apple Jam,
+        Of which Papa ate part;
+    But all the rest he took away
+        And stuffed into a tart.
+
+
+                     K
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    K was a great new Kite;
+        Papa he saw it fly
+    Above a thousand chimney pots,
+        And all about the sky.
+
+
+                     L
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    L was a fine new Lamp;
+        But when the wick was lit,
+    Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!
+        I cannot read a bit!"
+
+
+                     M
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    M was a dish of mince;
+        It looked so good to eat!
+    Papa, he quickly ate it up,
+        And said, "This is a treat!"
+
+
+                     N
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    N was a Nut that grew
+        High up upon a tree;
+    Papa, who could not reach it, said,
+        "That's _much_ too high for me!"
+
+
+                     O
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    O was an Owl who flew
+        All in the dark away,
+    Papa said, "What an owl you are!
+        Why don't you fly by day?"
+
+                     P
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    P was a little Pig,
+        Went out to take a walk;
+    Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,
+        He'd all turn into Pork!"
+
+
+                     Q
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a Quince that hung
+        Upon a garden tree;
+    Papa he brought it with him home,
+        And ate it with his tea.
+
+
+                     R
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    R was a Railway Rug
+        Extremely large and warm;
+    Papa he wrapped it round his head,
+        In a most dreadful storm.
+
+
+                     S
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    S was Papa's new Stick,
+        Papa's new thumping Stick,
+    To thump extremely wicked boys,
+        Because it was so thick.
+
+
+                     T
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    T was a tumbler full
+        Of Punch all hot and good;
+    Papa he drank it up, when in
+        The middle of a wood.
+
+
+                     U
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    U was a silver urn,
+        Full of hot scalding water;
+    Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,
+        I'd give it to my daughter!"
+
+
+                     V
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    V was a Villain; once
+        He stole a piece of beef.
+    Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!
+        That Villain is a Thief!"
+
+
+                     W
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    W was a Watch of Gold:
+        It told the time of day,
+    So that Papa knew when to come,
+        And when to go away.
+
+
+                     X
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes, whom
+        Papa much wished to know;
+    But this he could not do, because
+        Xerxes died long ago.
+
+
+                     Y
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a Youth, who kicked
+        And screamed and cried like mad;
+    Papa he said, "Your conduct is
+        Abominably bad!"
+
+
+                     Z
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Z was a Zebra striped
+        And streaked with lines of black;
+    Papa said once, he thought he'd like
+        A ride upon his back.
+
+
+
+
+ALPHABET, No. 6.
+
+    A tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood,
+
+    B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!"
+
+    C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm."
+
+    D said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm."
+
+    E said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well."
+
+    F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell."
+
+    G said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold."
+
+    H said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold."
+
+    I said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon."
+
+    J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!"
+
+    K said, "A Kangaroo is here,--this picture let him see."
+
+    L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea."
+
+    M said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction."
+
+    N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction."
+
+    O said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink."
+
+    P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think."
+
+    Q said, "A Quince I recommend,--a Quince, or else a Quail."
+
+    R said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail."
+
+    S said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!"
+
+    T said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!"
+
+    U said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!"
+
+    V said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!"
+
+    W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!"
+
+    X said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!"
+
+    Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!"
+
+    Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!
+             We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little
+                 master!
+             We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad
+                 disaster!"
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13650 ***
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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Nonsense Books, by Edward Lear
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Nonsense Books
+
+Author: Edward Lear
+
+Release Date: October 8, 2004  [eBook #13650]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NONSENSE BOOKS***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney, A. Deubelbeiss, Stan
+Goodman, and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders
+
+
+
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+      See 13650-h.htm or 13650-h.zip:
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/5/13650/13650-h/13650-h.htm)
+      or
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+
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOOKS
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+With all the Original Illustrations
+
+1894
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+PUBLISHERS' NOTICE.
+The first _Book of Nonsense_ was published in 1846. Three other volumes,--
+_Nonsense Songs, Stories, etc._, published in 1871; _More Nonsense
+Pictures, etc._, in 1872; and _Laughable Lyrics: A Fresh Book of Nonsense,
+etc._, in 1877,--comprise all the "Nonsense Books" written by Mr. Lear.
+
+
+
+
+  "Surely the most beneficent and innocent of all books
+  yet produced is the _Book of Nonsense_, with its corollary
+  carols, inimitable and refreshing, and perfect in rhythm.
+  I really don't know any author to whom I am half so
+  grateful for my idle self as Edward Lear. I shall put
+  him first of my hundred authors."
+
+  JOHN RUSKIN,
+
+    In the _List of the Best Hundred Authors_.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: EDWARD LEAR. ENGRAVED BY ANDREW FROM A PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN IN
+SAN REMO, BY RONCAROLO.]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+   I.   A BOOK OF NONSENSE.
+   II.  NONSENSE SONGS, STORIES, BOTANY, AND ALPHABETS.
+   III. MORE NONSENSE PICTURES, RHYMES, BOTANY, ETC.
+   IV.  LAUGHABLE LYRICS:
+        A FRESH BOOK OF NONSENSE POEMS, SONGS, BOTANY, ETC.
+
+
+[Illustration: QUI LEGIT REGIT.]
+
+
+
+
+The following lines by Mr. Lear were written for a young lady of his
+acquaintance, who had quoted to him the words of a young lady not of his
+acquaintance,
+
+  "How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"
+
+      "How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"
+        Who has written such volumes of stuff!
+      Some think him ill-tempered and queer,
+        But a few think him pleasant enough.
+
+      His mind is concrete and fastidious,
+        His nose is remarkably big;
+      His visage is more or less hideous,
+        His beard it resembles a wig.
+
+      He has ears, and two eyes, and ten fingers,
+        Leastways if you reckon two thumbs;
+      Long ago he was one of the singers,
+        But now he is one of the dumbs.
+
+      He sits in a beautiful parlor,
+        With hundreds of books on the wall;
+      He drinks a great deal of Marsala,
+        But never gets tipsy at all.
+
+      He has many friends, lay men and clerical,
+        Old Foss is the name of his cat;
+      His body is perfectly spherical,
+        He weareth a runcible hat.
+
+      When he walks in waterproof white,
+        The children run after him so!
+      Calling out, "He's come out in his night-
+        Gown, that crazy old Englishman, oh!"
+
+      He weeps by the side of the ocean,
+        He weeps on the top of the hill;
+      He purchases pancakes and lotion,
+        And chocolate shrimps from the mill.
+
+      He reads, but he cannot speak, Spanish,
+        He cannot abide ginger beer:
+      Ere the days of his pilgrimage vanish,
+        How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+Edward Lear, the artist, Author of "Journals of a Landscape Painter" in
+various out-of-the-way countries, and of the delightful "Books of
+Nonsense," which have amused successive generations of children, died on
+Sunday, January 29, 1888, at San Remo, Italy, where he had lived for twenty
+years. Few names could evoke a wider expression of passing regret at their
+appearance in the obituary column; for until his health began to fail he
+was known to an immense and almost a cosmopolitan circle of acquaintance,
+and popular wherever he was known. Fewer still could call up in the minds
+of intimate friends a deeper and more enduring feeling of sorrow for
+personal loss, mingled with the pleasantest of memories; for it was
+impossible to know him thoroughly and not to love him. London, Rome, the
+Mediterranean countries generally, Ceylon and India, are still all dotted
+with survivors among his generation who will mourn for him affectionately,
+although his latter years were spent in comparatively close retirement. He
+was a man of striking nobility of nature, fearless, independent, energetic,
+given to forming for himself strong opinions, often hastily, sometimes
+bitterly; not always strong or sound in judgment, but always seeking after
+truth in every matter, and following it as he understood it in scorn of
+consequence; utterly unselfish, devoted to his friends, generous even to
+extravagance towards any one who had ever been connected with his fortunes
+or his travels; playful, light-hearted, witty, and humorous, but not
+without those occasional fits of black depression and nervous irritability
+to which such temperaments are liable.
+
+Great and varied as the merits of his pictures are, Lear hardly succeeded
+in achieving any great popularity as a landscape-painter. His work was
+frequently done on private commission, and he rarely sent in pictures for
+the Academy or other exhibitions. His larger and more highly finished
+landscapes were unequal in technical perfection,--sometimes harsh or cold
+in color, or stiff in composition; sometimes full of imagination, at others
+literal and prosaic,--but always impressive reproductions of interesting or
+peculiar scenery. In later years he used in conversation to qualify himself
+as a "topographical artist;" and the definition was true, though not
+exhaustive. He had an intuitive and a perfectly trained eye for the
+character and beauty of distant mountain lines, the solemnity of rocky
+gorges, the majesty of a single mountain rising from a base of plain or
+sea; and he was equally exact in rendering the true forms of the middle
+distances and the specialties of foreground detail belonging to the various
+lands through which he had wandered as a sketcher. Some of his pictures
+show a mastery which has rarely been equalled over the difficulties of
+painting an immense plain as seen from a height, reaching straight away
+from the eye of the spectator until it is lost in a dim horizon. Sir
+Roderick Murchison used to say that he always understood the geological
+peculiarities of a country he had only studied in Lear's sketches. The
+compliment was thoroughly justified; and it is not every landscape-painter
+to whom it could honestly be paid.
+
+The history of Lear's choice of a career was a curious one. He was the
+youngest of twenty-one children, and, through a family mischance, was
+thrown entirely on the limited resources of an elderly sister at a very
+early age. As a boy he had always dabbled in colors for his own amusement,
+and had been given to poring over the ordinary boys' books upon natural
+history. It occurred to him to try to turn his infant talents to account;
+and he painted upon cardboard a couple of birds in the style which the
+older among us remember as having been called Oriental tinting, took them
+to a small shop, and sold them for fourpence. The kindness of friends, to
+whom he was ever grateful, gave him the opportunity of more serious and
+more remunerative study, and he became a patient and accurate zoölogical
+draughtsman. Many of the birds in the earlier volumes of Gould's
+magnificent folios were drawn for him by Lear. A few years back there were
+eagles alive in the Zoölogical Gardens in Regent's Park to which Lear could
+point as old familiar friends that he had drawn laboriously from claw to
+beak fifty years before. He united with this kind of work the more
+unpleasant occupation of drawing the curiosities of disease or deformity in
+hospitals. One day, as he was busily intent on the portrait of a bird in
+the Zoölogical Gardens, an old gentleman came and looked over his shoulder,
+entered into conversation, and finally said to him, "You must come and draw
+my birds at Knowsley." Lear did not know where Knowsley was, or what it
+meant; but the old gentleman was the thirteenth Earl of Derby. The
+successive Earls of Derby have been among Lear's kindest and most generous
+patrons. He went to Knowsley, and the drawings in the "Knowsley Menagerie"
+(now a rare and highly-prized work among book collectors) are by Lear's
+hand. At Knowsley he became a permanent favorite; and it was there that he
+composed in prolific succession his charming and wonderful series of
+utterly nonsensical rhymes and drawings. Lear had already begun seriously
+to study landscape. When English winters began to threaten his health, Lord
+Derby started a subscription which enabled him to go to Rome as a student
+and artist, and no doubt gave him recommendations among Anglo-Roman
+society which laid the foundations of a numerous _clientèle_. It was in the
+Roman summers that Lear first began to exercise the taste for pictorial
+wandering which grew into a habit and a passion, to fill vivid and copious
+note-books as he went, and to illustrate them by spirited and accurate
+drawings; and his first volume of "Illustrated Excursions in Italy,"
+published in 1846, is gratefully dedicated to his Knowsley patron.
+
+Only those who have travelled with him could know what a delightful comrade
+he was to men whose tastes ran more or less parallel to his own. It was not
+everybody who could travel with him; for he was so irrepressibly anxious
+not to lose a moment of the time at his disposal for gathering into his
+garners the beauty and interest of the lands over which he journeyed, that
+he was careless of comfort and health. Calabria, Sicily, the Desert of
+Sinai, Egypt and Nubia, Greece and Albania, Palestine, Syria, Athos,
+Candia, Montenegro, Zagóri (who knows now where Zagóri is, or was?), were
+as thoroughly explored and sketched by him as the more civilized localities
+of Malta, Corsica, and Corfu. He read insatiably before starting all the
+recognized guide-books and histories of the country he intended to draw;
+and his published itineraries are marked by great strength and literary
+interest quite irrespectively of the illustrations. And he had his reward.
+It is not any ordinary journalist and sketcher who could have compelled
+from Tennyson such a tribute as lines "To E.L. on his Travels in Greece":--
+
+    "Illyrian woodlands, echoing falls
+      Of water, sheets of summer glass,
+      The long divine Peneïan pass,
+    The vast Akrokeraunian walls,
+
+    "Tomohrit, Athos, all things fair,
+      With such a pencil, such a pen,
+      You shadow forth to distant men,
+    I read and felt that I was there."
+
+Lear was a man to whom, as to Tennyson's Ulysses,
+
+    "All experience is an arch wherethrough
+    Gleams that untravelled world."
+
+After settling at San Remo, and when he was nearly sixty years old, he
+determined to visit India and Ceylon. He started once and failed, being
+taken so ill at Suez that he was obliged to return. The next year he
+succeeded, and brought away some thousands of drawings of the most striking
+views from all three Presidencies and from the tropical island. His
+appetite for travel continued to grow with what it fed upon; and although
+he hated a long sea-voyage, he used seriously to contemplate as possible a
+visit to relations in New Zealand. It may safely, however, be averred that
+no considerations would have tempted him to visit the Arctic regions.
+
+    A hard-working life, checkered by the odd adventures which happen
+    to the odd and the adventurous and pass over the commonplace; a
+    career brightened by the high appreciation of unimpeachable
+    critics; lightened, till of late, by the pleasant society and good
+    wishes of innumerable friends; saddened by the growing pressure of
+    ill health and solitude; cheered by his constant trust in the love
+    and sympathy of those who knew him best, however far away,--such
+    was the life of Edward Lear.
+
+      --_The London Saturday Review,_ Feb. 4, 1888.
+
+Among the writers who have striven with varying success during the last
+thirty or forty years to awaken the merriment of the "rising generation" of
+the time being, Mr. Edward Lear occupies the first place in seniority, if
+not in merit. The parent of modern nonsense-writers, he is distinguished
+from all his followers and imitators by the superior consistency with which
+he has adhered to his aim,--that of amusing his readers by fantastic
+absurdities, as void of vulgarity or cynicism as they are incapable of
+being made to harbor any symbolical meaning. He "never deviates into
+sense;" but those who appreciate him never feel the need of such deviation.
+He has a genius for coining absurd names and words, which, even when they
+are suggested by the exigencies of his metre, have a ludicrous
+appropriateness to the matter in hand. His verse is, with the exception of
+a certain number of cockney rhymes, wonderfully flowing and even
+melodious--or, as he would say, _meloobious_--while to all these
+qualifications for his task must finally be added the happy gift of
+pictorial expression, enabling him to double, nay, often to quadruple, the
+laughable effect of his text by an inexhaustible profusion of the quaintest
+designs. Generally speaking, these designs are, as it were, an idealization
+of the efforts of a clever child; but now and then--as in the case of the
+nonsense-botany--Mr. Lear reminds us what a genuine and graceful artist he
+really is. The advantage to a humorist of being able to illustrate his own
+text has been shown in the case of Thackeray and Mr. W.S. Gilbert, to
+mention two familiar examples; but in no other instance of such a
+combination have we discovered such geniality as is to be found in the
+nonsense-pictures of Mr. Lear. We have spoken above of the melodiousness of
+Mr. Lear's verses, a quality which renders them excellently suitable for
+musical setting, and which has not escaped the notice of the author
+himself. We have also heard effective arrangements, presumably by other
+composers, of the adventures of the Table and the Chair, and of the cruise
+of the Owl and the Pussy-cat,--the latter introduced into the "drawing-room
+entertainment" of one of the followers of John Parry. Indeed, in these days
+of adaptations, it is to be wondered at that no enterprising librettist has
+attempted to build a children's comic opera out of the materials supplied
+in the four books with which we are now concerned. The first of these,
+originally published in 1846, and brought out in an enlarged form in 1863,
+is exclusively devoted to nonsense-verses of one type. Mr. Lear is careful
+to disclaim the credit of having created this type, for he tells us in the
+preface to his third book that "the lines beginning, 'There was an old man
+of Tobago,' were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+leading itself to limitless variety for Rhymes and Pictures." Dismissing
+the further question of the authorship of "There was an old man of Tobago,"
+we propose to give a few specimens of Mr. Lear's Protean powers as
+exhibited in the variation of this simple type. Here, to begin with, is a
+favorite verse, which we are very glad to have an opportunity of giving, as
+it is often incorrectly quoted, "cocks" being substituted for "owls" in the
+third line:
+
+    "There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard!'"
+
+With the kindly fatalism which is the distinctive note of the foregoing
+stanza, the sentiment of our next extract is in vivid contrast:--
+
+
+    "There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was terribly bored by a bee;
+    When they said, 'Does it buzz?' he replied, 'Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee.'"
+
+To the foregoing verse an historic interest attaches, if, that is, we are
+right in supposing it to have inspired Mr. Gilbert with his famous
+"Nonsense-Rhyme in Blank Verse." We quote from memory:--
+
+    "There was an Old Man of St. Bees,
+    Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
+    When they asked, 'Does it hurt?' he replied, 'No, it doesn't,
+    But I thought all the while 'twas a Hornet!'"
+
+Passing over the lines referring to the "Young Person" of Crete to whom the
+epithet "ombliferous" is applied, we may be pardoned--on the ground of the
+geographical proximity of the two countries named--for quoting together two
+stanzas which in reality are separated by a good many pages:--
+
+    "There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the doors queezed her flat, she exclaimed, 'What of that?'
+    This courageous young person of Norway."
+
+    "There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, 'Weedon Station!' she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden."
+
+A noticeable feature about this first book, and one which we think is
+peculiar to it, is the harsh treatment which the eccentricities of the
+inhabitants of certain towns appear to have met with at the hands of their
+fellow-residents. No less than three people are "smashed,"--the Old Man of
+Whitehaven "who danced a quadrille with a Raven;" the Old Person of Buda;
+and the Old Man with a gong "who bumped at it all the day long," though in
+the last-named case we admit that there was considerable provocation.
+Before quitting the first "Nonsense-Book," we would point out that it
+contains one or two forms that are interesting; for instance, "scroobious,"
+which we take to be a Portmanteau word, and "spickle-speckled," a favorite
+form of reduplication with Mr. Lear, and of which the best specimen occurs
+in his last book, "He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled the bell." The second book,
+published in 1871, shows Mr. Lear in the maturity of sweet desipience, and
+will perhaps remain the favorite volume of the four to grown-up readers.
+The nonsense-songs are all good, and "The Story of the Four little Children
+who went Round the World" is the most exquisite piece of imaginative
+absurdity that the present writer is acquainted with. But before coming to
+that, let us quote a few lines from "The Jumblies," who, as all the world
+knows, went to sea in a sieve:--
+
+      "They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,
+      To a land all covered with trees.
+    And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart,
+    And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart,
+      And a hive of silvery Bees.
+    And they bought a Pig, and some green Jack-Daws,
+    And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws,
+    And forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree,
+      And no end of Stilton Cheese.
+        _Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live.
+        Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve._
+    And in twenty years they all came back,
+      In twenty years or more,
+    And every one said, 'How tall they've grown!
+    For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
+      And the hills of the Chankly Bore.'"
+
+From the pedestrian excursion of the Table and the Chair, we cannot resist
+making a brief quotation, though in this, as in every case, the inability
+to quote the drawings also is a sad drawback:--
+
+    "So they both went slowly down,
+    And walked about the town,
+    With a cheerful bumpy sound,
+    As they toddled round and round.
+    And everybody cried,
+    As they hastened to their side,
+    'See, the Table and the Chair
+    Have come out to take the air!'
+
+    "But in going down an alley
+    To a castle in a valley,
+    They completely lost their way,
+    And wandered all the day,
+    Till, to see them safely back,
+    They paid a Ducky-Quack,
+    And a Beetle and a Mouse,
+    Who took them to their house.
+
+    "Then they whispered to each other,
+    'O delightful little brother,
+    What a lovely walk we've taken!
+    Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!'
+    So the Ducky and the leetle
+    Browny-Mousy, and the Beetle
+    Dined, and danced upon their heads,
+    Till they toddled to their beds."
+
+"The Story of the Four little Children who went Round the World" follows
+next, and the account of the manner in which they occupied themselves while
+on shipboard may be transcribed for the benefit of those unfortunate
+persons who have not perused the original: "During the day-time Violet
+chiefly occupied herself in putting salt-water into a churn, while her
+three brothers churned it violently in the hope it would turn into butter,
+which it seldom if ever did." After journeying for a time, they saw some
+land at a distance, "and when they came to it they found it was an island
+made of water quite surrounded by earth. Besides that it was bordered by
+evanescent isthmuses with a great Gulf-Stream running about all over it, so
+that it was perfectly beautiful, and contained only a single tree, five
+hundred and three feet high." In a later passage, we read how "by-and-by
+the children came to a country where there were no houses, but only an
+incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks, and of a
+dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue bottles
+contained a bluebottlefly, and all these interesting animals live
+continually together in the most copious and rural harmony, nor perhaps in
+many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found."
+Our last quotation from this inimitable recital shall be from the
+description of their adventure on a great plain where they espied an object
+which "on a nearer approach and on an accurately cutaneous inspection,
+seemed to be somebody in a large white wig sitting on an arm-chair made of
+sponge-cake and oyster-shells." This turned out to be the "Co-operative
+Cauliflower," who, "while the whole party from the boat was gazing at him
+with mingled affection and disgust ... suddenly arose, and in a somewhat
+plumdomphious manner hurried off towards the setting sun, his steps
+supported by two superincumbent confidential cucumbers ... till he finally
+disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a crystal cloud of sudorific
+sand. So remarkable a sight of course impressed the four children very
+deeply; and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong sense of
+undeveloped asthma and a great appetite."
+
+In his third book, Mr. Lear takes occasion in an entertaining preface to
+repudiate the charge of harboring any ulterior motive beyond that of
+"Nonsense pure and absolute" in any of his verses or pictures, and tells a
+delightful anecdote illustrative of the "persistently absurd report" that
+the Earl of Derby was the author of the first book of "Nonsense." In this
+volume he reverts once more to the familiar form adopted in his original
+efforts, and with little falling off. It is to be remarked that the third
+division is styled "Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures," although
+there is no more rhyme than reason in any of the set. Our favorite
+illustrations are those of the "Scroobious Snake who always wore a Hat on
+his Head, for fear he should bite anybody," and the "Visibly Vicious
+Vulture who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a Volume bound in
+Vellum." In the fourth and last of Mr. Lear's books, we meet not only with
+familiar words, but personages and places,--old friends like the Jumblies,
+the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, the Quangle Wangle, the hills of the Chankly Bore,
+and the great Gromboolian plain, as well as new creations, such as the Dong
+with a luminous Nose, whose story is a sort of nonsense version of the love
+of Nausicaa for Ulysses, only that the sexes are inverted. In these verses,
+graceful fancy is so subtly interwoven with nonsense as almost to beguile
+us into feeling a real interest in Mr. Lear's absurd creations. So again in
+the Pelican chorus there are some charming lines:--
+
+    "By day we fish, and at eve we stand
+    On long bare islands of yellow sand.
+    And when the sun sinks slowly down,
+    And the great rock-walls grow dark and brown,
+    When the purple river rolls fast and dim,
+    And the ivory Ibis starlike skim,
+    Wing to wing we dance around," etc.
+
+The other nonsense-poems are all good, but we have no space for further
+quotation, and will take leave of our subject by propounding the following
+set of examination questions which a friend who is deeply versed in Mr.
+Lear's books has drawn up for us:--
+
+  1. What do you gather from a study of Mr. Lear's works to
+     have been the prevalent characteristics of the inhabitants of
+     Gretna, Prague, Thermopylae, Wick, and Hong Kong?
+
+  2. State briefly what historical events are connected with
+     Ischia, Chertsey, Whitehaven, Boulak, and Jellibolee.
+
+  3. Comment, with illustrations, upon Mr. Lear's use of the
+     following words: Runcible, propitious, dolomphious, borascible,
+     fizzgiggious, himmeltanious, tumble-dum-down, spongetaneous.
+
+  4. Enumerate accurately all the animals who lived on the
+     Quangle Wangle's Hat, and explain how the Quangle Wangle
+     was enabled at once to enlighten his five travelling companions
+     as to the true nature of the Co-operative Cauliflower.
+
+  5. What were the names of the five daughters of the Old
+     Person of China, and what was the purpose for which the
+     Old Man of the Dargle purchased six barrels of Gargle?
+
+  6. Collect notices of King Xerxes in Mr. Lear's works, and
+     state your theory, if you have any, as to the character and
+     appearance of Nupiter Piffkin.
+
+  7. Draw pictures of the Plum-pudding flea, and the Moppsikon
+     Floppsikon Bear, and state by whom waterproof tubs
+     were first used.
+
+  8.         "There was an old man at a station
+               Who made a promiscuous oration."
+
+     What bearing may we assume the foregoing couplet to have
+     upon Mr. Lear's political views?
+                                   --_The London Spectator_.
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+A BOOK OF NONSENSE
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR.
+
+With All the Original Pictures and Verses
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+There was an Old Derry down Derry, who loved to see little folks
+  merry;
+    So he made them a Book, and with laughter they shook
+      At the fun of that Derry down Derry.
+
+
+
+                 Original Dedication.
+
+                       TO THE
+ GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES
+           OF EDWARD, 13TH EARL OF DERBY,
+          THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES
+
+     (The greater part of which were originally
+         made and composed for their parents.)
+
+               Is Dedicated by the Author,
+                                          EDWARD LEAR.
+
+       London, 1862.
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a nose,
+    Who said, "If you choose to suppose
+    That my nose is too long, you are certainly wrong!"
+    That remarkable Man with a nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Smyrna,
+    Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;
+    But she seized on the Cat, and said, "Granny, burn that!
+    You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on a hill,
+    Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
+    He ran up and down in his Grandmother's gown,
+    Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chili,
+    Whose conduct was painful and silly;
+    He sate on the stairs, eating apples and pears,
+    That imprudent Old Person of Chili.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a gong,
+    Who bumped at it all the day long;
+    But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
+    Who never had more than a penny;
+    He spent all that money in onions and honey,
+    That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Columbia,
+    Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;
+    But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot,
+    Which disgusted that man of Columbia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
+    When they said, "Does it buzz?" he replied, "Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,
+    Who made a remarkable curtsey;
+    She twirled round and round, till she sank underground,
+    Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose chin
+    Resembled the point of a pin;
+    So she had it made sharp, and purchased a harp,
+    And played several tunes with her chin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a flute,--
+    A "sarpint" ran into his boot!
+    But he played day and night, till the "sarpint" took flight,
+    And avoided that Man with a flute.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
+    Whose ideas were excessively nautical;
+    She climbed up a tree to examine the sea,
+    But declared she would never leave Portugal.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ischia,
+    Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;
+    He danced hornpipes and jigs, and ate thousands of figs,
+    That lively Old Person of Ischia
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vienna,
+    Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;
+    When that did not agree, he took Camomile Tea,
+    That nasty Old Man of Vienna.
+
+    [Illustraion]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a boat,
+    Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"
+    When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint,
+    That unhappy Old Man in a boat.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Buda,
+    Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,
+    Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.
+    By smashing that Person of Buda.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
+    Who had the most curious behavior;
+    For while he was able, he slept on a table,
+    That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Hurst,
+    Who drank when he was not athirst;
+    When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"
+    That globular Person of Hurst.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Madras,
+    Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;
+    But the length of its ears so promoted his fears,
+    That it killed that Old Man of Madras.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dover,
+    Who rushed through a field of blue clover;
+    But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees,
+    So he very soon went back to Dover.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Leeds,
+    Whose head was infested with beads;
+    She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool,
+    Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cadiz,
+    Who was always polite to all ladies;
+    But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water,
+    Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Isles,
+    Whose face was pervaded with smiles;
+    He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle,
+    That amiable Man of the Isles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Basing,
+    Whose presence of mind was amazing;
+    He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed,
+    And escaped from the people of Basing.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who supposed
+    That the street door was partially closed;
+    But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats,
+    While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person whose habits
+    Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;
+    When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green,
+    Upon which he relinquished those habits.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who wore a pale plum-colored vest;
+    When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!"
+    That uneasy Old Man of the West.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Marseilles,
+    Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils:
+    They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish,
+    And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,
+    Whose shoes made a horrible creaking;
+    But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather,
+    Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose nose
+    Was so long that it reached to her toes;
+    So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady,
+    To carry that wonderful nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?"
+    This courageous Young Lady of Norway.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Apulia,
+    Whose conduct was very peculiar;
+    He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns,
+    That whimsical Man of Apulia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Quebec,--
+    A beetle ran over his neck;
+    But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!"
+    That angry Old Man of Quebec.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Bute,
+    Who played on a silver-gilt flute;
+    She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs:
+    That amusing Young Lady of Bute.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Philoe,
+    Whose conduct was scroobious and wily;
+    He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm,
+    And observed all the ruins of Philoe.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a poker,
+    Who painted his face with red ochre.
+    When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply,
+    But knocked them all down with his poker.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Prague,
+    Who was suddenly seized with the plague;
+    But they gave him some butter, which caused him to mutter,
+    And cured that Old Person of Prague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru,
+    Who watched his wife making a stew;
+    But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake
+    That unfortunate Man of Peru.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the North,
+    Who fell into a basin of broth;
+    But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook,
+    Which saved that Old Man of the North.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Troy,
+    Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,
+    Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon,
+    In sight of the city of Troy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Mold,
+    Who shrank from sensations of cold;
+    So he purchased some muffs, some furs, and some fluffs,
+    And wrapped himself well from the cold.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tring,
+    Who embellished his nose with a ring;
+    He gazed at the moon every evening in June,
+    That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Nepaul,
+    From his horse had a terrible fall;
+    But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue
+    They mended that man of Nepaul.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Nile,
+    Who sharpened his nails with a file,
+    Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly, "This comes
+    Of sharpening one's nails with a file!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,
+    So blind that he couldn't his foot see;
+    When they said, "That's your toe," he replied, "Is it so?"
+    That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Calcutta,
+    Who perpetually ate bread and butter;
+    Till a great bit of muffin, on which he was stuffing,
+    Choked that horrid Old Man of Calcutta.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
+    Who strongly objected to toads;
+    He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens,
+    That futile Old Person of Rhodes.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the South,
+    Who had an immoderate mouth;
+    But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish,
+    He was choked, that Old Man of the South.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Melrose,
+    Who walked on the tips of his toes;
+    But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present,
+    You stupid Old Man of Melrose."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Dee,
+    Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;
+    When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
+    Whose lovers completely forsook her;
+    She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"
+    Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Coblenz,
+    The length of whose legs was immense;
+    He went with one prance from Turkey to France,
+    That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
+    Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;
+    But one day, to his grief, she married a thief,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Corfu,
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown,
+    That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,
+    Who studied the works of Vitruvius;
+    When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took,
+    That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Dundee,
+    Who frequented the top of a tree;
+    When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose,
+    And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady whose folly
+    Induced her to sit in a holly;
+    Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn,
+    She quickly became melancholy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on some rocks,
+    Who shut his Wife up in a box:
+    When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt
+    You will pass all your life in that box."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rheims,
+    Who was troubled with horrible dreams;
+    So to keep him awake they fed him with cake,
+    Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
+    The smallest that ever was born;
+    But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy,
+    Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a pew,
+    Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;
+    But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces,
+    That cheerful Old Man in a pew.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
+    Who suddenly married a Quaker;
+    But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"
+    Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "How
+    Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
+    I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile,
+    Which may soften the heart of that Cow."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Troy,
+    Whom several large flies did annoy;
+    Some she killed with a thump, some she drowned at the pump,
+    And some she took with her to Troy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Hull,
+    Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
+    But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?"
+    Which distracted that virulent Bull.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dutton,
+    Whose head was as small as a button;
+    So to make it look big he purchased a wig,
+    And rapidly rushed about Dutton.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
+    I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
+    When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all;
+    It is four times as big as the bush!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Russia,
+    Who screamed so that no one could hush her;
+    Her screams were extreme,--no one heard such a scream
+    As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
+    Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
+    At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep,
+    And enchanted the city of Tyre.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Bangor,
+    Whose face was distorted with anger;
+    He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,
+    That borascible Person of Bangor.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the East,
+    Who gave all his children a feast;
+    But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,
+    That it killed that Old Man of the East.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Coast,
+    Who placidly sat on a post;
+    But when it was cold he relinquished his hold,
+    And called for some hot buttered toast.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
+    Who possessed a remarkably fat Cur;
+    His gait and his waddle were held as a model
+    To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Gretna,
+    Who rushed down the crater of Etna;
+    When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!"
+    That mendacious Old Person of Gretna.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who sat on a Horse when he reared;
+    But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,
+    You propitious Old Man with a beard!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Berlin,
+    Whose form was uncommonly thin;
+    Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,
+    So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who never could get any rest;
+    So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,
+    Which cured that Old Man of the West.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cheadle
+    Was put in the stocks by the Beadle
+    For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,
+    That horrible person of Cheadle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Anerley,
+    Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;
+    He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,
+    But returned in the evening to Anerley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Wales,
+    Who caught a large Fish without scales;
+    When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!"
+    That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Welling,
+    Whose praise all the world was a-telling;
+    She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,
+    That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tartary,
+    Who divided his jugular artery;
+    But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life!
+    Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
+    Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;
+    But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chester,
+    Whom several small children did pester;
+    They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,
+    And displeased that Old Person of Chester.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Cape,
+    Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;
+    Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,
+    Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Burton,
+    Whose answers were rather uncertain;
+    When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?"
+    That distressing Old Person of Burton.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ems
+    Who casually fell in the Thames;
+    And when he was found, they said he was drowned,
+    That unlucky Old Person of Ems.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
+    Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;
+    She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,
+    Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Poole,
+    Whose soup was excessively cool;
+    So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,
+    That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Prague,
+    Whose language was horribly vague;
+    When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!"
+    That oracular Lady of Prague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Parma,
+    Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:
+    When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!"
+    That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Sparta,
+    Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"
+    He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,
+    That wonderful Person of Sparta.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on whose nose
+    Most birds of the air could repose;
+    But they all flew away at the closing of day,
+    Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
+    Who wept when the weather was murky;
+    When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,
+    That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Aôsta
+    Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;
+    But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,
+    You invidious Old Man of Aôsta?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Crete,
+    Whose toilette was far from complete;
+    She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,
+    That ombliferous Person of Crete.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Clare,
+    Who was madly pursued by a Bear;
+    When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,
+    That unfortunate Lady of Clare.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
+    Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
+    But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,
+    That she very soon went back to Dorking.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
+    Who wished he had never been born;
+    So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,
+    That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Person of Cromer,
+    Who stood on one leg to read Homer;
+    When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,
+    Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Hague,
+    Whose ideas were excessively vague;
+    He built a balloon to examine the moon,
+    That deluded Old Man of the Hague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Spain,
+    Who hated all trouble and pain;
+    So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,
+    That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Well!
+    Will _nobody_ answer this bell?
+    I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white,
+    But nobody answers this bell!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with an Owl,
+    Who continued to bother and howl;
+    He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,
+    Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a casement,
+    Who held up his hands in amazement;
+    When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" he replied, "Not at all!"
+    That incipient Old Man in a casement.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ewell,
+    Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
+    But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,
+    Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru.
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,
+    That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, "It is just as I feared!--
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose eyes
+    Were unique as to color and size;
+    When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,
+    And started away in surprise.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
+    Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
+    She purchased some clogs, and some small spotty Dogs,
+    And frequently walked about Ryde.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose bonnet
+    Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
+    But she said, "I don't care! all the birds in the air
+    Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+NONSENSE SONGS
+
+Stories, Botany, and Alphabets
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR.
+
+With One Hundred and Fifty Illustrations
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+    NONSENSE SONGS.
+        THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT
+        THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO
+        THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY
+        THE JUMBLIES
+        THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS
+        CALICO PIE
+        MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW
+        THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS THE TABLE AND THE
+        CHAIR
+
+    NONSENSE STORIES.
+        THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD
+        THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE
+
+    NONSENSE COOKERY
+
+    NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+    NONSENSE ALPHABET, No. 1
+      "  "  No. 2
+      "  "  No. 3
+
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE SONGS.
+
+
+THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea
+      In a beautiful pea-green boat:
+    They took some honey, and plenty of money
+      Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
+    The Owl looked up to the stars above,
+      And sang to a small guitar,
+   "O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,
+        What a beautiful Pussy you are,
+          You are,
+          You are!
+      What a beautiful Pussy you are!"
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,
+      How charmingly sweet you sing!
+    Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried:
+      But what shall we do for a ring?"
+    They sailed away, for a year and a day,
+      To the land where the bong-tree grows;
+    And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,
+      With a ring at the end of his nose,
+          His nose,
+          His nose,
+      With a ring at the end of his nose.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    "Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
+      Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."
+    So they took it away, and were married next day
+      By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
+    They dined on mince and slices of quince,
+      Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
+    And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
+      They danced by the light of the moon,
+          The moon,
+          The moon,
+    They danced by the light of the moon.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    Said the Duck to the Kangaroo,
+       "Good gracious! how you hop
+    Over the fields, and the water too,
+        As if you never would stop!
+    My life is a bore in this nasty pond;
+    And I long to go out in the world beyond:
+        I wish I could hop like you,"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+   "Please give me a ride on your back,"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo:
+   "I would sit quite still, and say nothing but 'Quack'
+        The whole of the long day through;
+    And we 'd go the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee,
+    Over the land, and over the sea:
+        Please take me a ride! oh, do!"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    Said the Kangaroo to the Duck,
+       "This requires some little reflection.
+    Perhaps, on the whole, it might bring me luck;
+        And there seems but one objection;
+    Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold,
+    Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold,
+        And would probably give me the roo-
+        Matiz," said the Kangaroo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    Said the Duck, "As I sate on the rocks,
+        I have thought over that completely;
+    And I bought four pairs of worsted socks,
+        Which fit my web-feet neatly;
+    And, to keep out the cold, I've bought a cloak;
+    And every day a cigar I'll smoke;
+        All to follow my own dear true
+        Love of a Kangaroo."
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Said the Kangaroo, "I'm ready,
+        All in the moonlight pale;
+    But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady,
+        And quite at the end of my tail."
+    So away they went with a hop and a bound;
+    And they hopped the whole world three times round.
+        And who so happy, oh! who,
+        As the Duck and the Kangaroo?
+
+             [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    Once Mr. Daddy Long-legs,
+        Dressed in brown and gray,
+    Walked about upon the sands
+        Upon a summer's day:
+    And there among the pebbles,
+        When the wind was rather cold,
+    He met with Mr. Floppy Fly,
+        All dressed in blue and gold;
+    And, as it was too soon to dine,
+    They drank some periwinkle-wine,
+    And played an hour or two, or more,
+    At battlecock and shuttledore.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        To Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "Why do you never come to court?
+        I wish you 'd tell me why.
+    All gold and shine, in dress so fine,
+        You'd quite delight the court.
+    Why do you never go at all?
+        I really think you _ought_.
+    And, if you went, you'd see such sights!
+    Such rugs and jugs and candle-lights!
+    And, more than all, the king and queen,--
+    One in red, and one in green."
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    "O Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"
+        Said Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "It's true I never go to court;
+        And I will tell you why.
+    If I had six long legs like yours,
+        At once I'd go to court;
+    But, oh! I can't, because _my_ legs
+        Are so extremely short.
+    And I'm afraid the king and queen
+    (One in red, and one in green)
+    Would say aloud, 'You are not fit,
+    You Fly, to come to court a bit!'"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    "Oh, Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"
+        Said Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "I wish you 'd sing one little song,
+        One mumbian melody.
+    You used to sing so awful well
+        In former days gone by;
+    But now you never sing at all:
+        I wish you'd tell me why:
+    For, if you would, the silvery sound
+    Would please the shrimps and cockles round,
+    And all the crabs would gladly come
+    To hear you sing, 'Ah, Hum di Hum!'"
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs,
+       "I can never sing again;
+    And, if you wish, I'll tell you why,
+        Although it gives me pain.
+    For years I cannot hum a bit,
+        Or sing the smallest song;
+    And this the dreadful reason is,--
+        My legs are grown too long!
+    My six long legs, all here and there,
+    Oppress my bosom with despair;
+    And, if I stand or lie or sit,
+    I cannot sing one single bit!"
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+    So Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        And Mr. Floppy Fly
+    Sat down in silence by the sea,
+        And gazed upon the sky.
+    They said, "This is a dreadful thing!
+        The world has all gone wrong,
+    Since one has legs too short by half,
+        The other much too long.
+    One never more can go to court,
+    Because his legs have grown too short;
+    The other cannot sing a song,
+    Because his legs have grown too long!"
+
+
+                    VII.
+
+    Then Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        And Mr. Floppy Fly
+    Rushed downward to the foamy sea
+        With one sponge-taneous cry:
+    And there they found a little boat,
+        Whose sails were pink and gray;
+    And off they sailed among the waves,
+        Far and far away:
+    They sailed across the silent main,
+    And reached the great Gromboolian Plain;
+    And there they play forevermore
+    At battlecock and shuttledore.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE JUMBLIES.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    They went to sea in a sieve, they did;
+        In a sieve they went to sea:
+    In spite of all their friends could say,
+    On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
+        In a sieve they went to sea.
+    And when the sieve turned round and round,
+    And every one cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
+    They called aloud, "Our sieve ain't big;
+    But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig:
+        In a sieve we'll go to sea!"
+             Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+             Their heads are green, and their hands are blue
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    They sailed away in a sieve, they did,
+        In a sieve they sailed so fast,
+    With only a beautiful pea-green veil
+    Tied with a ribbon, by way of a sail,
+        To a small tobacco-pipe mast.
+    And every one said who saw them go,
+   "Oh! won't they be soon upset, you know?
+    For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long;
+    And, happen what may, it's extremely wrong
+        In a sieve to sail so fast."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    The water it soon came in, it did;
+        The water it soon came in:
+    So, to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
+        In a pinky paper all folded neat;
+    And they fastened it down with a pin.
+    And they passed the night in a crockery-jar;
+    And each of them said, "How wise we are!
+    Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,
+    Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,
+        While round in our sieve we spin."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    And all night long they sailed away;
+        And when the sun went down,
+    They whistled and warbled a moony song
+        To the echoing sound of a coppery gong,
+    In the shade of the mountains brown.
+   "O Timballoo! How happy we are
+    When we live in a sieve and a crockery-jar!
+    And all night long, in the moonlight pale,
+    We sail away with a pea-green sail
+        In the shade of the mountains brown."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,--
+        To a land all covered with trees:
+    And they bought an owl, and a useful cart,
+        And a pound of rice, and a cranberry-tart,
+    And a hive of silvery bees;
+    And they bought a pig, and some green jackdaws,
+    And a lovely monkey with lollipop paws,
+    And forty bottles of ring-bo-ree,
+        And no end of Stilton cheese.
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    And in twenty years they all came back,--
+        In twenty years or more;
+    And every one said, "How tall they've grown!
+        For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
+    And the hills of the Chankly Bore."
+    And they drank their health, and gave them a feast
+    Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast;
+    And every one said, "If we only live,
+    We, too, will go to sea in a sieve,
+        To the hills of the Chankly Bore."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+
+
+THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    The Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table;
+        The Sugar-tongs sate by a plate at his side;
+    And the Nutcrackers said, "Don't you wish we were able
+        Along the blue hills and green meadows to ride?
+    Must we drag on this stupid existence forever,
+        So idle and weary, so full of remorse,
+    While every one else takes his pleasure, and never
+        Seems happy unless he is riding a horse?
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    "Don't you think we could ride without being instructed,
+        Without any saddle or bridle or spur?
+    Our legs are so long, and so aptly constructed,
+        I'm sure that an accident could not occur.
+    Let us all of a sudden hop down from the table,
+        And hustle downstairs, and each jump on a horse!
+    Shall we try? Shall we go? Do you think we are able?"
+        The Sugar-tongs answered distinctly, "Of course!"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    So down the long staircase they hopped in a minute;
+        The Sugar-tongs snapped, and the Crackers said "Crack!"
+    The stable was open; the horses were in it:
+        Each took out a pony, and jumped on his back.
+    The Cat in a fright scrambled out of the doorway;
+        The Mice tumbled out of a bundle of hay;
+    The brown and white Rats, and the black ones from Norway,
+        Screamed out, "They are taking the horses away!"
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    The whole of the household was filled with amazement:
+        The Cups and the Saucers danced madly about;
+    The Plates and the Dishes looked out of the casement;
+        The Salt-cellar stood on his head with a shout;
+    The Spoons, with a clatter, looked out of the lattice;
+        The Mustard-pot climbed up the gooseberry-pies;
+    The Soup-ladle peeped through a heap of veal-patties,
+        And squeaked with a ladle-like scream of surprise.
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    The Frying-pan said, "It's an awful delusion!"
+        The Tea-kettle hissed, and grew black in the face;
+    And they all rushed downstairs in the wildest confusion
+        To see the great Nutcracker-Sugar-tong race.
+    And out of the stable, with screamings and laughter
+        (Their ponies were cream-colored, speckled with brown),
+    The Nutcrackers first, and the Sugar-tongs after;
+        Rode all round the yard, and then all round the town.
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    They rode through the street, and they rode by the station;
+        They galloped away to the beautiful shore;
+    In silence they rode, and "made no observation,"
+        Save this: "We will never go back any more!"
+    And still you might hear, till they rode out of hearing,
+        The Sugar-tongs snap, and the Crackers say "Crack!"
+    Till, far in the distance their forms disappearing,
+        They faded away; and they never came back!
+
+
+
+
+CALICO PIE.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+      Calico pie,
+      The little birds fly
+    Down to the calico-tree:
+      Their wings were blue,
+      And they sang "Tilly-loo!"
+      Till away they flew;
+        And they never came back to me!
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back,
+        They never came back to me!
+
+
+                     II.
+
+      Calico jam,
+      The little Fish swam
+    Over the Syllabub Sea.
+      He took off his hat
+      To the Sole and the Sprat,
+      And the Willeby-wat:
+        But he never came back to me;
+          He never came back,
+          He never came back,
+        He never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+                     III.
+
+      Calico ban,
+      The little Mice ran
+    To be ready in time for tea;
+      Flippity flup,
+      They drank it all up,
+      And danced in the cup:
+        But they never came back to me;
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back,
+        They never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+      Calico drum,
+      The Grasshoppers come,
+    The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee,
+      Over the ground,
+      Around and round,
+      With a hop and a bound;
+        But they never came back,
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back.
+        They never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    On a little piece of wood
+    Mr. Spikky Sparrow stood:
+    Mrs. Sparrow sate close by,
+    A-making of an insect-pie
+    For her little children five,
+    In the nest and all alive;
+    Singing with a cheerful smile,
+    To amuse them all the while,
+       "Twikky wikky wikky wee,
+        Wikky bikky twikky tee,
+            Spikky bikky bee!"
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    Mrs. Spikky Sparrow said,
+    "Spikky, darling! in my head
+    Many thoughts of trouble come,
+    Like to flies upon a plum.
+    All last night, among the trees,
+    I heard you cough, I heard you sneeze;
+    And thought I, 'It's come to that
+    Because he does not wear a hat!'
+        Chippy wippy sikky tee,
+        Bikky wikky tikky mee,
+            Spikky chippy wee!
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    "Not that you are growing old;
+    But the nights are growing cold.
+    No one stays out all night long
+    Without a hat: I'm sure it's wrong!"
+    Mr. Spikky said, "How kind,
+    Dear, you are, to speak your mind!
+    All your life I wish you luck!
+    You are, you are, a lovely duck!
+        Witchy witchy witchy wee,
+        Twitchy witchy witchy bee,
+            Tikky tikky tee!
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    "I was also sad, and thinking,
+    When one day I saw you winking,
+    And I heard you sniffle-snuffle,
+    And I saw your feathers ruffle:
+    To myself I sadly said,
+    'She's neuralgia in her head!
+    That dear head has nothing on it!
+    Ought she not to wear a bonnet?'
+        Witchy kitchy kitchy wee,
+        Spikky wikky mikky bee,
+            Chippy wippy chee!
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    "Let us both fly up to town:
+    There I'll buy you such a gown!
+    Which, completely in the fashion,
+    You shall tie a sky-blue sash on;
+    And a pair of slippers neat
+    To fit your darling little feet,
+    So that you will look and feel
+    Quite galloobious and genteel.
+        Jikky wikky bikky see,
+        Chicky bikky wikky bee,
+            Twicky witchy wee!"
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    So they both to London went,
+    Alighting on the Monument;
+    Whence they flew down swiftly--pop!
+    Into Moses' wholesale shop:
+    There they bought a hat and bonnet,
+    And a gown with spots upon it,
+    A satin sash of Cloxam blue,
+    And a pair of slippers too.
+        Zikky wikky mikky bee,
+        Witchy witchy mitchy kee,
+            Sikky tikky wee!
+
+
+                     VII.
+
+    Then, when so completely dressed,
+    Back they flew, and reached their nest.
+    Their children cried, "O ma and pa!
+    How truly beautiful you are!"
+    Said they, "We trust that cold or pain
+    We shall never feel again;
+    While, perched on tree or house or steeple,
+    We now shall look like other people.
+        Witchy witchy witchy wee,
+        Twikky mikky bikky bee,
+            Zikky sikky tee!"
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,
+      They all took a drive in the Park;
+    And they each sang a song, ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+      Before they went back in the dark.
+    Mr. Poker he sate quite upright in the coach;
+      Mr. Tongs made a clatter and clash;
+    Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch);
+      Mrs. Broom was in blue (with a sash).
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        And they all sang a song.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+   "O Shovely so lovely!" the Poker he sang,
+     "You have perfectly conquered my heart.
+    Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong! If you're pleased with my song,
+      I will feed you with cold apple-tart.
+    When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound,
+      You enrapture my life with delight,
+    Your nose is so shiny, your head is so round,
+      And your shape is so slender and bright!
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        Ain't you pleased with my song?"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+   "Alas! Mrs. Broom," sighed the Tongs in his song,
+     "Oh! is it because I'm so thin,
+    And my legs are so long,--ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!--
+      That you don't care about me a pin?
+    Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room,
+      Ah! why don't you heed my complaint?
+    Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom,
+      Because you are covered with paint?
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        You are certainly wrong."
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    Mrs. Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang,
+     "What nonsense you're singing to-day!"
+    Said the Shovel, "I'll certainly hit you a bang!"
+      Said the Broom, "And I'll sweep you away!"
+    So the coachman drove homeward as fast as he could,
+      Perceiving their anger with pain;
+    But they put on the kettle, and little by little
+      They all became happy again.
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        There's an end of my song.
+
+
+
+
+THE TABLE AND THE CHAIR.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    Said the Table to the Chair,
+    "You can hardly be aware
+    How I suffer from the heat
+    And from chilblains on my feet.
+    If we took a little walk,
+    We might have a little talk;
+    Pray let us take the air,"
+    Said the Table to the Chair.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    Said the Chair unto the Table,
+    "Now, you _know_ we are not able:
+    How foolishly you talk,
+    When you know we _cannot_ walk!"
+    Said the Table with a sigh,
+    "It can do no harm to try.
+    I've as many legs as you:
+    Why can't we walk on two?"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    So they both went slowly down,
+    And walked about the town
+    With a cheerful bumpy sound
+    As they toddled round and round;
+    And everybody cried,
+    As they hastened to their side,
+    "See! the Table and the Chair
+    Have come out to take the air!"
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    But in going down an alley,
+    To a castle in a valley,
+    They completely lost their way,
+    And wandered all the day;
+    Till, to see them safely back,
+    They paid a Ducky-quack,
+    And a Beetle, and a Mouse,
+    Who took them to their house.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    Then they whispered to each other,
+    "O delightful little brother,
+    What a lovely walk we've taken!
+    Let us dine on beans and bacon."
+    So the Ducky and the leetle
+    Browny-Mousy and the Beetle
+    Dined, and danced upon their heads
+    Till they toddled to their beds.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE STORIES.
+
+
+THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD.
+
+Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little people whose
+names were
+
+[Illustration]
+
+VIOLET, SLINGSBY, GUY, and LIONEL;
+and they all thought they should like to see the world. So they bought a
+large boat to sail quite round the world by sea, and then they were to come
+back on the other side by land. The boat was painted blue with green spots,
+and the sail was yellow with red stripes: and, when they set off, they only
+took a small Cat to steer and look after the boat, besides an elderly
+Quangle-Wangle, who had to cook the dinner and make the tea; for which
+purposes they took a large kettle.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+For the first ten days they sailed on beautifully, and found plenty to eat,
+as there were lots of fish; and they had only to take them out of the sea
+with a long spoon, when the Quangle-Wangle instantly cooked them; and the
+Pussy-Cat was fed with the bones, with which she expressed herself pleased,
+on the whole: so that all the party were very happy.
+
+During the daytime, Violet chiefly occupied herself in putting salt water
+into a churn; while her three brothers churned it violently, in the hope
+that it would turn into butter, which it seldom if ever did; and in the
+evening they all retired into the tea-kettle, where they all managed to
+sleep very comfortably, while Pussy and the Quangle-Wangle managed the
+boat.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After a time, they saw some land at a distance; and, when they came to it,
+they found it was an island made of water quite surrounded by earth.
+Besides that, it was bordered by evanescent isthmuses, with a great
+gulf-stream running about all over it; so that it was perfectly beautiful,
+and contained only a single tree, 503 feet high.
+
+When they had landed, they walked about, but found, to their great
+surprise, that the island was quite full of veal-cutlets and
+chocolate-drops, and nothing else. So they all climbed up the single high
+tree to discover, if possible, if there were any people; but having
+remained on the top of the tree for a week, and not seeing anybody, they
+naturally concluded that there were no inhabitants; and accordingly, when
+they came down, they loaded the boat with two thousand veal-cutlets and a
+million of chocolate-drops; and these afforded them sustenance for more
+than a month, during which time they pursued their voyage with the utmost
+delight and apathy.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After this they came to a shore where there were no less than sixty-five
+great red parrots with blue tails, sitting on a rail all of a row, and all
+fast asleep. And I am sorry to say that the Pussy-Cat and the
+Quangle-Wangle crept softly, and bit off the tail-feathers of all the
+sixty-five parrots; for which Violet reproved them both severely.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Notwithstanding which, she proceeded to insert all the feathers--two
+hundred and sixty in number--in her bonnet; thereby causing it to have a
+lovely and glittering appearance, highly prepossessing and efficacious.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The next thing that happened to them was in a narrow part of the sea, which
+was so entirely full of fishes that the boat could go on no farther: so
+they remained there about six weeks, till they had eaten nearly all the
+fishes, which were soles, and all ready-cooked, and covered with
+shrimp-sauce, so that there was no trouble whatever. And as the few fishes
+who remained uneaten complained of the cold, as well as of the difficulty
+they had in getting any sleep on account of the extreme noise made by the
+arctic bears and the tropical turnspits, which frequented the neighborhood
+in great numbers, Violet most amiably knitted a small woollen frock for
+several of the fishes, and Slingsby administered some opium-drops to them;
+through which kindness they became quite warm, and slept soundly.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Then they came to a country which was wholly covered with immense
+orange-trees of a vast size, and quite full of fruit. So they all landed,
+taking with them the tea-kettle, intending to gather some of the oranges,
+and place them in it. But, while they were busy about this, a most
+dreadfully high wind rose, and blew out most of the parrot-tail feathers
+from Violet's bonnet. That, however, was nothing compared with the calamity
+of the oranges falling down on their heads by millions and millions, which
+thumped and bumped and bumped and thumped them all so seriously, that they
+were obliged to run as hard as they could for their lives; besides that the
+sound of the oranges rattling on the tea-kettle was of the most fearful and
+amazing nature.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Nevertheless, they got safely to the boat, although considerably vexed and
+hurt; and the Quangle-Wangle's right foot was so knocked about, that he had
+to sit with his head in his slipper for at least a week.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+This event made them all for a time rather melancholy: and perhaps they
+might never have become less so, had not Lionel, with a most praiseworthy
+devotion and perseverance, continued to stand on one leg, and whistle to
+them in a loud and lively manner; which diverted the whole party so
+extremely that they gradually recovered their spirits, and agreed that
+whenever they should reach home, they would subscribe towards a testimonial
+to Lionel, entirely made of gingerbread and raspberries, as an earnest
+token of their sincere and grateful infection.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After sailing on calmly for several more days, they came to another
+country, where they were much pleased and surprised to see a countless
+multitude of white Mice with red eyes, all sitting in a great circle,
+slowly eating custard-pudding with the most satisfactory and polite
+demeanor.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And as the four travellers were rather hungry, being tired of eating
+nothing but soles and oranges for so long a period, they held a council as
+to the propriety of asking the Mice for some of their pudding in a humble
+and affecting manner, by which they could hardly be otherwise than
+gratified. It was agreed, therefore, that Guy should go and ask the Mice,
+which he immediately did; and the result was, that they gave a walnut-shell
+only half full of custard diluted with water. Now, this displeased Guy, who
+said, "Out of such a lot of pudding as you have got, I must say, you might
+have spared a somewhat larger quantity." But no sooner had he finished
+speaking than the Mice turned round at once, and sneezed at him in an
+appalling and vindictive manner (and it is impossible to imagine a more
+scroobious and unpleasant sound than that caused by the simultaneous
+sneezing of many millions of angry Mice); so that Guy rushed back to the
+boat, having first shied his cap into the middle of the custard-pudding, by
+which means he completely spoiled the Mice's dinner.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+By and by the four children came to a country where there were no houses,
+but only an incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks,
+and of a dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue
+bottles contained a Blue-Bottle-Fly; and all these interesting animals live
+continually together in the most copious and rural harmony: nor perhaps in
+many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found.
+Violet and Slingsby and Guy and Lionel were greatly struck with this
+singular and instructive settlement; and, having previously asked
+permission of the Blue-Bottle-Flies (which was most courteously granted),
+the boat was drawn up to the shore, and they proceeded to make tea in front
+of the bottles: but as they had no tea-leaves, they merely placed some
+pebbles in the hot water; and the Quangle-Wangle played some tunes over it
+on an accordion, by which, of course, tea was made directly, and of the
+very best quality.
+
+The four children then entered into conversation with the
+Blue-Bottle-Flies, who discoursed in a placid and genteel manner, though
+with a slightly buzzing accent, chiefly owing to the fact that they each
+held a small clothes-brush between their teeth, which naturally occasioned
+a fizzy, extraneous utterance.
+
+"Why," said Violet, "would you kindly inform us, do you reside in bottles;
+and, if in bottles at all, why not, rather, in green or purple, or, indeed,
+in yellow bottles?"
+
+To which questions a very aged Blue-Bottle-Fly answered, "We found the
+bottles here all ready to live in; that is to say, our great-great-great-
+great-great-grandfathers did: so we occupied them at once. And, when the
+winter comes on, we turn the bottles upside down, and consequently rarely
+feel the cold at all; and you know very well that this could not be the
+case with bottles of any other color than blue."
+
+"Of course it could not," said Slingsby. "But, if we may take the liberty
+of inquiring, on what do you chiefly subsist?"
+
+"Mainly on oyster-patties," said the Blue-Bottle-Fly; "and, when these are
+scarce, on raspberry vinegar and Russian leather boiled down to a jelly."
+
+"How delicious!" said Guy.
+
+To which Lionel added, "Huzz!" And all the Blue-Bottle-Flies said, "Buzz!"
+
+At this time, an elderly Fly said it was the hour for the evening-song to
+be sung; and, on a signal being given, all the Blue-Bottle-Flies began to
+buzz at once in a sumptuous and sonorous manner, the melodious and
+mucilaginous sounds echoing all over the waters, and resounding across the
+tumultuous tops of the transitory titmice upon the intervening and verdant
+mountains with a serene and sickly suavity only known to the truly
+virtuous. The Moon was shining slobaciously from the star-bespangled sky,
+while her light irrigated the smooth and shiny sides and wings and backs of
+the Blue-Bottle-Flies with a peculiar and trivial splendor, while all
+Nature cheerfully responded to the cerulean and conspicuous circumstances.
+
+In many long-after years, the four little travellers looked back to that
+evening as one of the happiest in all their lives; and it was already past
+midnight when--the sail of the boat having been set up by the
+Quangle-Wangle, the tea-kettle and churn placed in their respective
+positions, and the Pussy-Cat stationed at the helm--the children each took
+a last and affectionate farewell of the Blue-Bottle-Flies, who walked down
+in a body to the water's edge to see the travellers embark.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+As a token of parting respect and esteem, Violet made a courtesy quite down
+to the ground, and stuck one of her few remaining parrot-tail feathers into
+the back hair of the most pleasing of the Blue-Bottle-Flies; while
+Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel offered them three small boxes, containing,
+respectively, black pins, dried figs, and Epsom salts; and thus they left
+that happy shore forever.
+
+Overcome by their feelings, the four little travellers instantly jumped
+into the tea-kettle, and fell fast asleep. But all along the shore, for
+many hours, there was distinctly heard a sound of severely-suppressed sobs,
+and of a vague multitude of living creatures using their
+pocket-handkerchiefs in a subdued simultaneous snuffle, lingering sadly
+along the walloping waves as the boat sailed farther and farther away from
+the Land of the Happy Blue-Bottle-Flies.
+
+Nothing particular occurred for some days after these events, except that,
+as the travellers were passing a low tract of sand, they perceived an
+unusual and gratifying spectacle; namely, a large number of Crabs and
+Crawfish--perhaps six or seven hundred--sitting by the water-side, and
+endeavoring to disentangle a vast heap of pale pink worsted, which they
+moistened at intervals with a fluid composed of lavender-water and
+white-wine negus.
+
+"Can we be of any service to you, O crusty Crabbies?" said the four
+children.
+
+"Thank you kindly," said the Crabs consecutively. "We are trying to make
+some worsted mittens, but do not know how."
+
+On which Violet, who was perfectly acquainted with the art of
+mitten-making, said to the Crabs, "Do your claws unscrew, or are they
+fixtures?"
+
+"They are all made to unscrew," said the Crabs; and forthwith they
+deposited a great pile of claws close to the boat, with which Violet
+uncombed all the pale pink worsted, and then made the loveliest mittens
+with it you can imagine. These the Crabs, having resumed and screwed on
+their claws, placed cheerfully upon their wrists, and walked away rapidly
+on their hind-legs, warbling songs with a silvery voice and in a minor key.
+
+After this, the four little people sailed on again till they came to a vast
+and wide plain of astonishing dimensions, on which nothing whatever could
+be discovered at first; but, as the travellers walked onward, there
+appeared in the extreme and dim distance a single object, which on a nearer
+approach, and on an accurately cutaneous inspection, seemed to be somebody
+in a large white wig, sitting on an arm-chair made of sponge-cakes and
+oyster-shells. "It does not quite look like a human being," said Violet
+doubtfully; nor could they make out what it really was, till the
+Quangle-Wangle (who had previously been round the world) exclaimed softly
+in a loud voice, "It is the co-operative Cauliflower!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And so, in truth, it was: and they soon found that what they had taken for
+an immense wig was in reality the top of the Cauliflower; and that he had
+no feet at all, being able to walk tolerably well with a fluctuating and
+graceful movement on a single cabbage-stalk,--an accomplishment which
+naturally saved him the expense of stockings and shoes.
+
+Presently, while the whole party from the boat was gazing at him with
+mingled affection and disgust, he suddenly arose, and, in a somewhat
+plumdomphious manner, hurried off towards the setting sun,--his steps
+supported by two superincumbent confidential Cucumbers, and a large number
+of Waterwagtails proceeding in advance of him by three and three in a
+row,--till he finally disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a
+crystal cloud of sudorific sand.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+So remarkable a sight, of course, impressed the four children very deeply;
+and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong sense of
+undeveloped asthma and a great appetite.
+
+Shortly after this, the travellers were obliged to sail directly below some
+high overhanging rocks, from the top of one of which a particularly odious
+little boy, dressed in rose-colored knickerbockers, and with a pewter plate
+upon his head, threw an enormous pumpkin at the boat, by which it was
+instantly upset.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+But this upsetting was of no consequence, because all the party knew how to
+swim very well: and, in fact, they preferred swimming about till after the
+moon rose; when, the water growing chilly, they sponge-taneously entered
+the boat. Meanwhile the Quangle-Wangle threw back the pumpkin with immense
+force, so that it hit the rocks where the malicious little boy in
+rose-colored knickerbockers was sitting; when, being quite full of
+lucifer-matches, the pumpkin exploded surreptitiously into a thousand bits;
+whereon the rocks instantly took fire, and the odious little boy became
+unpleasantly hotter and hotter and hotter, till his knickerbockers were
+turned quite green, and his nose was burnt off.
+
+Two or three days after this had happened, they came to another place,
+where they found nothing at all except some wide and deep pits full of
+mulberry-jam. This is the property of the tiny, yellow-nosed Apes who
+abound in these districts, and who store up the mulberry-jam for their food
+in winter, when they mix it with pellucid pale periwinkle-soup, and serve
+it out in wedgewood china-bowls, which grow freely all over that part of
+the country. Only one of the yellow-nosed Apes was on the spot, and he was
+fast asleep; yet the four travellers and the Quangle-Wangle and Pussy were
+so terrified by the violence and sanguinary sound of his snoring, that they
+merely took a small cupful of the jam, and returned to re-embark in their
+boat without delay.
+
+What was their horror on seeing the boat (including the churn and the
+tea-kettle) in the mouth of an enormous Seeze Pyder, an aquatic and
+ferocious creature truly dreadful to behold, and, happily, only met with in
+those excessive longitudes! In a moment, the beautiful boat was bitten into
+fifty-five thousand million hundred billion bits; and it instantly became
+quite clear that Violet, Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel could no longer
+preliminate their voyage by sea.
+
+The four travellers were therefore obliged to resolve on pursuing their
+wanderings by land: and, very fortunately, there happened to pass by at
+that moment an elderly Rhinoceros, on which they seized; and, all four
+mounting on his back,--the Quangle-Wangle sitting on his horn, and holding
+on by his ears, and the Pussy-Cat swinging at the end of his tail,--they
+set off, having only four small beans and three pounds of mashed potatoes
+to last through their whole journey.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+They were, however, able to catch numbers of the chickens and turkeys and
+other birds who incessantly alighted on the head of the Rhinoceros for the
+purpose of gathering the seeds of the rhododendron-plants which grew
+there; and these creatures they cooked in the most translucent and
+satisfactory manner by means of a fire lighted on the end of the
+Rhinoceros's back. A crowd of Kangaroos and gigantic Cranes accompanied
+them, from feelings of curiosity and complacency; so that they were never
+at a loss for company, and went onward, as it were, in a sort of profuse
+and triumphant procession.
+
+Thus in less than eighteen weeks they all arrived safely at home, where
+they were received by their admiring relatives with joy tempered with
+contempt, and where they finally resolved to carry out the rest of their
+travelling-plans at some more favorable opportunity.
+
+As for the Rhinoceros, in token of their grateful adherence, they had him
+killed and stuffed directly, and then set him up outside the door of their
+father's house as a diaphanous doorscraper.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF
+THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE.
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+
+In former days,--that is to say, once upon a time,--there lived in the Land
+of Gramble-Blamble seven families. They lived by the side of the great Lake
+Pipple-Popple (one of the seven families, indeed, lived _in_ the lake), and
+on the outskirts of the city of Tosh, which, excepting when it was quite
+dark, they could see plainly. The names of all these places you have
+probably heard of; and you have only not to look in your geography-books to
+find out all about them.
+
+Now, the seven families who lived on the borders of the great Lake
+Pipple-Popple were as follows in the next chapter.
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+THE SEVEN FAMILIES.
+
+There was a family of two old Parrots and seven young Parrots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Storks and seven young Storks.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Geese and seven young Geese.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Owls and seven young Owls.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Guinea Pigs and seven young Guinea Pigs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Cats and seven young Cats.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And there was a family of two old Fishes and seven young Fishes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+THE HABITS OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES.
+
+The Parrots lived upon the Soffsky-Poffsky trees, which were beautiful to
+behold, and covered with blue leaves; and they fed upon fruit, artichokes,
+and striped beetles.
+
+The Storks walked in and out of the Lake Pipple-Popple, and ate frogs for
+breakfast, and buttered toast for tea; but on account of the extreme length
+of their legs they could not sit down, and so they walked about
+continually.
+
+The Geese, having webs to their feet, caught quantities of flies, which
+they ate for dinner.
+
+The Owls anxiously looked after mice, which they caught, and made into
+sago-puddings.
+
+The Guinea Pigs toddled about the gardens, and ate lettuces and Cheshire
+cheese.
+
+The Cats sate still in the sunshine, and fed upon sponge biscuits.
+
+The Fishes lived in the lake, and fed chiefly on boiled periwinkles.
+
+And all these seven families lived together in the utmost fun and felicity.
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+THE CHILDREN OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES ARE SENT AWAY.
+
+One day all the seven fathers and the seven mothers of the seven families
+agreed that they would send their children out to see the world.
+
+So they called them all together, and gave them each eight shillings and
+some good advice, some chocolate-drops, and a small green morocco
+pocket-book to set down their expenses in.
+
+They then particularly entreated them not to quarrel; and all the parents
+sent off their children with a parting injunction.
+
+"If," said the old Parrots, "you find a cherry, do not fight about who
+should have it."
+
+"And," said the old Storks, "if you find a frog, divide it carefully into
+seven bits, but on no account quarrel about it."
+
+And the old Geese said to the seven young Geese, "Whatever you do, be sure
+you do not touch a plum-pudding flea."
+
+And the old Owls said, "If you find a mouse, tear him up into seven slices,
+and eat him cheerfully, but without quarrelling."
+
+And the old Guinea Pigs said, "Have a care that you eat your lettuces,
+should you find any, not greedily, but calmly."
+
+And the old Cats said, "Be particularly careful not to meddle with a
+clangle-wangle if you should see one."
+
+And the old Fishes said, "Above all things, avoid eating a blue boss-woss;
+for they do not agree with fishes, and give them a pain in their toes."
+
+So all the children of each family thanked their parents; and, making in
+all forty-nine polite bows, they went into the wide world.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG PARROTS.
+
+The seven young Parrots had not gone far, when they saw a tree with a
+single cherry on it, which the oldest Parrot picked instantly; but the
+other six, being extremely hungry, tried to get it also. On which all the
+seven began to fight; and they
+scuffled,
+     and huffled,
+       and ruffled,
+         and shuffled,
+           and puffled,
+             and muffled,
+               and buffled,
+                 and duffled,
+                   and fluffled,
+                     and guffled,
+                       and bruffled,
+                         and screamed, and shrieked, and squealed,
+and squeaked, and clawed, and snapped, and bit, and bumped, and thumped,
+and dumped, and flumped each other, till they were all torn into little
+bits; and at last there was nothing left to record this painful incident
+except the cherry and seven small green feathers.
+
+And that was the vicious and voluble end of the seven young Parrots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG STORKS.
+
+When the seven young Storks set out, they walked or flew for fourteen weeks
+in a straight line, and for six weeks more in a crooked one; and after that
+they ran as hard as they could for one hundred and eight miles; and after
+that they stood still, and made a himmeltanious chatter-clatter-blattery
+noise with their bills.
+
+About the same time they perceived a large frog, spotted with green, and
+with a sky-blue stripe under each ear.
+
+So, being hungry, they immediately flew at him, and were going to divide
+him into seven pieces, when they began to quarrel as to which of his legs
+should be taken off first. One said this, and another said that; and while
+they were all quarrelling, the frog hopped away. And when they saw that he
+was gone, they began to
+  chatter-clatter,
+      blatter-platter,
+          patter-blatter,
+              matter-clatter,
+                  flatter-quatter,
+more violently than ever; and after they
+had fought for a week, they pecked each other all to little pieces, so that
+at last nothing was left of any of them except their bills.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Storks.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GEESE.
+
+When the seven young Geese began to travel, they went over a large plain,
+on which there was but one tree, and that was, a very bad one.
+
+So four of them went up to the top of it, and looked about them; while the
+other three waddled up and down, and repeated poetry, and their last six
+lessons in arithmetic, geography, and cookery.
+
+Presently they perceived, a long way off, an object of the most interesting
+and obese appearance, having a perfectly round body exactly resembling a
+boiled plum-pudding, with two little wings, and a beak, and three feathers
+growing out of his head, and only one leg.
+
+So, after a time, all the seven young Geese said to each other, "Beyond all
+doubt this beast must be a Plum-pudding Flea!"
+
+On which they incautiously began to sing aloud,
+
+       "Plum-pudding Flea,
+        Plum-pudding Flea,
+        Wherever you be,
+        Oh! come to our tree,
+    And listen, oh! listen, oh! listen to me!"
+
+And no sooner had they sung this verse than the Plum-pudding Flea began to
+hop and skip on his one leg with the most dreadful velocity, and came
+straight to the tree, where he stopped, and looked about him in a vacant
+and voluminous manner.
+
+On which the seven young Geese were greatly alarmed, and all of a
+tremble-bemble: so one of them put out his long neck, and just touched him
+with the tip of his bill; but no sooner had he done this than the
+Plum-pudding Flea skipped and hopped about more and more, and higher and
+higher; after which he opened his mouth, and, to the great surprise and
+indignation of the seven Geese, began to bark so loudly and furiously and
+terribly, that they were totally unable to bear the noise; and by degrees
+every one of them suddenly tumbled down quite dead.
+
+So that was the end of the seven young Geese.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG OWLS.
+
+When the seven young Owls set out, they sate every now and then on the
+branches of old trees, and never went far at one time.
+
+And one night, when it was quite dark, they thought they heard a mouse;
+but, as the gas-lamps were not lighted, they could not see him.
+
+So they called out, "Is that a mouse?"
+
+On which a mouse answered, "Squeaky-peeky-weeky! yes, it is!"
+
+And immediately all the young Owls threw themselves off the tree, meaning
+to alight on the ground; but they did not perceive that there was a large
+well below them, into which they all fell superficially, and were every one
+of them drowned in less than half a minute.
+
+So that was the end of the seven young Owls.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GUINEA PIGS.
+
+The seven young Guinea Pigs went into a garden full of goose-berry-bushes
+and tiggory-trees, under one of which they fell asleep. When they awoke,
+they saw a large lettuce, which had grown out of the ground while they had
+been sleeping, and which had an immense number of green leaves. At which
+they all exclaimed,--
+
+   "Lettuce! O lettuce
+    Let us, O let us,
+    O lettuce-leaves,
+    O let us leave this tree, and eat
+    Lettuce, O let us, lettuce-leaves!"
+
+And instantly the seven young Guinea Pigs rushed with such extreme force
+against the lettuce-plant, and hit their heads so vividly against its
+stalk, that the concussion brought on directly an incipient transitional
+inflammation of their noses, which grew worse and worse and worse and
+worse, till it incidentally killed them all seven.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Guinea Pigs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG CATS.
+
+The seven young Cats set off on their travels with great delight and
+rapacity. But, on coming to the top of a high hill, they perceived at a
+long distance off a Clangle-Wangle (or, as it is more properly written,
+Clangel-Wangel); and, in spite of the warning they had had, they ran
+straight up to it.
+
+(Now, the Clangle-Wangle is a most dangerous and delusive beast, and by no
+means commonly to be met with. They live in the water as well as on land,
+using their long tail as a sail when in the former element. Their speed is
+extreme; but their habits of life are domestic and superfluous, and their
+general demeanor pensive and pellucid. On summer evenings, they may
+sometimes be observed near the Lake Pipple-Popple, standing on their heads,
+and humming their national melodies. They subsist entirely on vegetables,
+excepting when they eat veal or mutton or pork or beef or fish or
+saltpetre.)
+
+The moment the Clangle-Wangle saw the seven young Cats approach, he ran
+away; and as he ran straight on for four months, and the Cats, though they
+continued to run, could never overtake him, they all gradually _died_ of
+fatigue and exhaustion, and never afterwards recovered.
+
+And this was the end of the seven young Cats.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG FISHES.
+
+The seven young Fishes swam across the Lake Pipple-Popple, and into the
+river, and into the ocean; where, most unhappily for them, they saw, on the
+fifteenth day of their travels, a bright-blue Boss-Woss, and instantly swam
+after him. But the Blue Boss-Woss plunged into a
+    perpendicular,
+        spicular,
+            orbicular,
+                quadrangular,
+                     circular depth of soft mud;
+where, in fact, his house was.
+
+And the seven young Fishes, swimming with great and uncomfortable velocity,
+plunged also into the mud quite against their will, and, not being
+accustomed to it, were all suffocated in a very short period.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Fishes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+OF WHAT OCCURRED SUBSEQUENTLY.
+
+After it was known that the
+
+            seven young Parrots,
+    and the seven young Storks,
+    and the seven young Geese,
+    and the seven young Owls,
+    and the seven young Guinea Pigs,
+    and the seven young Cats,
+    and the seven young Fishes,
+
+were all dead, then the Frog, and the Plum-pudding Flea, and the Mouse, and
+the Clangle-Wangle, and the Blue Boss-Woss, all met together to rejoice
+over their good fortune. And they collected the seven feathers of the seven
+young Parrots, and the seven bills of the seven young Storks, and the
+lettuce, and the cherry; and having placed the latter on the lettuce, and
+the other objects in a circular arrangement at their base, they danced a
+hornpipe round all these memorials until they were quite tired; after which
+they gave a tea-party, and a garden-party, and a ball, and a concert, and
+then returned to their respective homes full of joy and respect, sympathy,
+satisfaction, and disgust.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.
+
+OF WHAT BECAME OF THE PARENTS OF THE FORTY-NINE CHILDREN.
+
+BUT when the two old Parrots,
+     and the two old Storks,
+     and the two old Geese,
+     and the two old Owls,
+     and the two old Guinea Pigs,
+     and the two old Cats,
+     and the two old Fishes,
+
+became aware, by reading in the newspapers, of the calamitous extinction of
+the whole of their families, they refused all further sustenance; and,
+sending out to various shops, they purchased great quantities of Cayenne
+pepper and brandy and vinegar and blue sealing-wax, besides seven immense
+glass bottles with air-tight stoppers. And, having done this, they ate a
+light supper of brown-bread and Jerusalem artichokes, and took an
+affecting and formal leave of the whole of their acquaintance, which was
+very numerous and distinguished and select and responsible and ridiculous.
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV.
+
+CONCLUSION.
+
+And after this they filled the bottles with the ingredients for pickling,
+and each couple jumped into a separate bottle; by which effort, of course,
+they all died immediately, and became thoroughly pickled in a few minutes;
+having previously made their wills (by the assistance of the most eminent
+lawyers of the district), in which they left strict orders that the
+stoppers of the seven bottles should be carefully sealed up with the blue
+sealing-wax they had purchased; and that they themselves, in the bottles,
+should be presented to the principal museum of the city of Tosh, to be
+labelled with parchment or any other anti-congenial succedaneum, and to be
+placed on a marble table with silver-gilt legs, for the daily inspection
+and contemplation, and for the perpetual benefit, of the pusillanimous
+public.
+
+And if you ever happen to go to Gramble-Blamble, and visit that museum in
+the city of Tosh, look for them on the ninety-eighth table in the four
+hundred and twenty-seventh room of the right-hand corridor of the left wing
+of the central quadrangle of that magnificent building; for, if you do not,
+you certainly will not see them.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+                 NONSENSE COOKERY.
+
+Extract from "The Nonsense Gazette," for August, 1870.
+
+"Our readers will be interested in the following communications from our
+valued and learned contributor, Prof. Bosh, whose labors in the fields of
+culinary and botanical science are so well known to all the world. The
+first three articles richly merit to be added to the domestic cookery of
+every family: those which follow claim the attention of all botanists; and
+we are happy to be able, through Dr. Bosh's kindness, to present our
+readers with illustrations of his discoveries. All the new flowers are
+found in the Valley of Verrikwier, near the Lake of Oddgrow, and on the
+summit of the Hill Orfeltugg."
+
+
+
+THREE RECEIPTS FOR DOMESTIC COOKERY.
+
+
+TO MAKE AN AMBLONGUS PIE.
+
+Take 4 pounds (say 4-1/2 pounds) of fresh Amblongusses, and put them in a
+small pipkin.
+
+Cover them with water, and boil them for 8 hours incessantly; after which
+add 2 pints of new milk, and proceed to boil for 4 hours more.
+
+When you have ascertained that the Amblongusses are quite soft, take them
+out, and place them in a wide pan, taking care to shake them well
+previously.
+
+Grate some nutmeg over the surface, and cover them carefully with powdered
+gingerbread, curry-powder, and a sufficient quantity of Cayenne pepper.
+
+Remove the pan into the next room, and place it on the floor. Bring it back
+again, and let it simmer for three-quarters of an hour. Shake the pan
+violently till all the Amblongusses have become of a pale purple color.
+
+Then, having prepared the paste, insert the whole carefully; adding at the
+same time a small pigeon, 2 slices of beef, 4 cauliflowers, and any number
+of oysters.
+
+Watch patiently till the crust begins to rise, and add a pinch of salt from
+time to time.
+
+Serve up in a clean dish, and throw the whole out of window as fast as
+possible.
+
+
+TO MAKE CRUMBOBBLIOUS CUTLETS.
+
+Procure some strips of beef, and, having cut them into the smallest
+possible slices, proceed to cut them still smaller,--eight, or perhaps
+nine times.
+
+When the whole is thus minced, brush it up hastily with a new
+clothes-brush, and stir round rapidly and capriciously with a salt-spoon
+or a soup-ladle.
+
+Place the whole in a saucepan, and remove it to a sunny place,--say the
+roof of the house, if free from sparrows or other birds,--and leave it
+there for about a week.
+
+At the end of that time add a little lavender, some oil of almonds, and a
+few herring-bones; and then cover the whole with 4 gallons of clarified
+Crumbobblious sauce, when it will be ready for use.
+
+Cut it into the shape of ordinary cutlets, and serve up in a clean
+table-cloth or dinner-napkin.
+
+
+TO MAKE GOSKY PATTIES.
+
+Take a pig three or four years of age, and tie him by the off hind-leg to a
+post. Place 5 pounds of currants, 3 of sugar, 2 pecks of peas, 18 roast
+chestnuts, a candle, and 6 bushels of turnips, within his reach: if he eats
+these, constantly provide him with more.
+
+Then procure some cream, some slices of Cheshire cheese, 4 quires of
+foolscap paper, and a packet of black pins. Work the whole into a paste,
+and spread it out to dry on a sheet of clean brown waterproof linen.
+
+When the paste is perfectly dry, but not before, proceed to beat the pig
+violently with the handle of a large broom. If he squeals, beat him again.
+
+Visit the paste and beat the pig alternately for some days, and ascertain
+if, at the end of that period, the whole is about to turn into Gosky
+Patties.
+
+If it does not then, it never will; and in that case the pig may be let
+loose, and the whole process may be considered as finished.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Baccopipia Gracilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia.]
+
+[Illustration: Cockatooca Superba.]
+
+[Illustration: Fishia Marina.]
+
+[Illustration: Guittara Pensilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Manypeeplia Upsidownia.]
+
+[Illustration: Phattfacia Stupenda.]
+
+[Illustration: Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis.]
+
+[Illustration: Plumbunnia Nutritiosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Pollybirdia Singularis.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE ALPHABETS.
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    A was an ant
+    Who seldom stood still,
+    And who made a nice house
+    In the side of a hill.
+
+            a!
+     Nice little ant!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    B was a book
+    With a binding of blue,
+    And pictures and stories
+    For me and for you.
+
+            b!
+     Nice little book!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    C was a cat
+    Who ran after a rat;
+    But his courage did fail
+    When she seized on his tail.
+
+            c!
+      Crafty old cat!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    D was a duck
+    With spots on his back,
+    Who lived in the water,
+    And always said "Quack!"
+
+            d!
+      Dear little duck!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    E was an elephant,
+    Stately and wise:
+    He had tusks and a trunk,
+    And two queer little eyes.
+
+            e!
+    Oh, what funny small eyes!
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+
+    F was a fish
+    Who was caught in a net;
+    But he got out again,
+    And is quite alive yet.
+
+            f!
+      Lively young fish!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    G was a goat
+    Who was spotted with brown:
+    When he did not lie still
+    He walked up and down.
+
+            g!
+      Good little goat!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    H was a hat
+    Which was all on one side;
+    Its crown was too high,
+    And its brim was too wide.
+
+            h!
+      Oh, what a hat!
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    I was some ice
+    So white and so nice,
+    But which nobody tasted;
+    And so it was wasted.
+
+            i!
+    All that good ice!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+
+    J was a jackdaw
+    Who hopped up and down
+    In the principal street
+    Of a neighboring town.
+
+            j!
+     All through the town!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    K was a kite
+    Which flew out of sight,
+    Above houses so high,
+    Quite into the sky.
+
+            k
+       Fly away, kite!
+
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    L was a light
+    Which burned all the night,
+    And lighted the gloom
+    Of a very dark room.
+
+            l!
+     Useful nice light!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    M was a mill
+    Which stood on a hill,
+    And turned round and round
+    With a loud hummy sound.
+
+            m!
+      Useful old mill!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    N was a net
+    Which was thrown in the sea
+    To catch fish for dinner
+    For you and for me.
+
+            n!
+      Nice little net!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    O was an orange
+    So yellow and round:
+    When it fell off the tree,
+    It fell down to the ground.
+
+            o!
+    Down to the ground!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    P was a pig,
+    Who was not very big;
+    But his tail was too curly,
+    And that made him surly.
+
+            p!
+    Cross little pig!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a quail
+    With a very short tail;
+    And he fed upon corn
+    In the evening and morn.
+
+            q!
+    Quaint little quail!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    R was a rabbit,
+    Who had a bad habit
+    Of eating the flowers
+    In gardens and bowers.
+
+            r!
+     Naughty fat rabbit!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    S was the sugar-tongs,
+    Nippity-nee,
+    To take up the sugar
+    To put in our tea.
+
+            s!
+       Nippity-nee!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    T was a tortoise,
+    All yellow and black:
+    He walked slowly away,
+    And he never came back.
+
+            t!
+    Torty never came back!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    U was an urn
+    All polished and bright,
+    And full of hot water
+    At noon and at night.
+
+            u!
+     Useful old urn!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    V was a villa
+    Which stood on a hill,
+    By the side of a river,
+    And close to a mill.
+
+            v!
+    Nice little villa!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    W was a whale
+    With a very long tail,
+    Whose movements were frantic
+    Across the Atlantic.
+
+            w!
+   Monstrous old whale!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes,
+    Who, more than all Turks, is
+    Renowned for his fashion
+    Of fury and passion.
+
+            x!
+    Angry old Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a yew,
+    Which flourished and grew
+    By a quiet abode
+    Near the side of a road.
+
+            y!
+     Dark little yew!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Z was some zinc,
+    So shiny and bright,
+    Which caused you to wink
+    In the sun's merry light.
+
+            z!
+       Beautiful zinc!
+
+
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            a
+
+    A was once an apple-pie,
+        Pidy,
+        Widy,
+        Tidy,
+        Pidy,
+      Nice insidy,
+      Apple-pie!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            b
+
+    B was once a little bear,
+        Beary,
+        Wary,
+        Hairy,
+        Beary,
+      Taky cary,
+      Little bear!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            c
+
+    C was once a little cake,
+        Caky,
+        Baky,
+        Maky,
+        Caky,
+      Taky caky,
+      Little cake!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            d
+
+    D was once a little doll,
+        Dolly,
+        Molly,
+        Polly,
+        Nolly,
+      Nursy dolly,
+      Little doll!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            e
+
+    E was once a little eel,
+        Eely,
+        Weely,
+        Peely,
+        Eely,
+      Twirly, tweely,
+        Little eel!
+
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            f
+
+    F was once a little fish,
+        Fishy,
+        Wishy,
+        Squishy,
+        Fishy,
+      In a dishy,
+      Little fish!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            g
+
+    G was once a little goose,
+        Goosy,
+        Moosy,
+        Boosey,
+        Goosey,
+      Waddly-woosy,
+      Little goose!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            h
+
+    H was once a little hen,
+        Henny,
+        Chenny,
+        Tenny,
+        Henny.
+      Eggsy-any,
+      Little hen?
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            i
+
+    I was once a bottle of ink
+        Inky,
+        Dinky,
+        Thinky,
+        Inky,
+      Blacky minky,
+      Bottle of ink!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            j
+
+    J was once a jar of jam,
+        Jammy,
+        Mammy,
+        Clammy,
+        Jammy,
+      Sweety, swammy,
+        Jar of jam!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            k
+
+    K was once a little kite,
+        Kity,
+        Whity,
+        Flighty,
+        Kity,
+      Out of sighty,
+        Little kite!
+
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            l
+
+    L was once a little lark,
+        Larky,
+        Marky,
+        Harky,
+        Larky,
+      In the parky,
+      Little lark!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            m
+
+    M was once a little mouse,
+        Mousy,
+        Bousy,
+        Sousy,
+        Mousy,
+      In the housy,
+      Little mouse!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            n
+
+    N was once a little needle,
+        Needly,
+        Tweedly,
+        Threedly,
+        Needly,
+      Wisky, wheedly,
+      Little needle!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            o
+
+    O was once a little owl,
+        Owly,
+        Prowly,
+        Howly,
+        Owly,
+      Browny fowly,
+      Little owl!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            p
+
+    P was once a little pump,
+        Pumpy,
+        Slumpy,
+        Flumpy,
+        Pumpy,
+      Dumpy, thumpy,
+        Little pump!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            q
+
+    Q was once a little quail,
+        Quaily,
+        Faily,
+        Daily,
+        Quaily,
+      Stumpy-taily,
+      Little quail!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            r
+
+    R was once a little rose,
+        Rosy,
+        Posy,
+        Nosy,
+        Rosy,
+     Blows-y, grows-y,
+       Little rose!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            s
+
+    S was once a little shrimp,
+        Shrimpy,
+        Nimpy,
+        Flimpy,
+        Shrimpy.
+     Jumpy, jimpy,
+      Little shrimp!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            t
+
+    T was once a little thrush,
+        Thrushy,
+        Hushy,
+        Bushy,
+        Thrushy,
+      Flitty, flushy,
+      Little thrush!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            u
+
+    U was once a little urn,
+           Urny,
+           Burny,
+           Turny,
+           Urny,
+      Bubbly, burny,
+        Little urn!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            v
+
+    V was once a little vine,
+        Viny,
+        Winy,
+        Twiny,
+        Viny,
+      Twisty-twiny,
+      Little vine!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            w
+
+    W was once a whale,
+        Whaly,
+        Scaly,
+        Shaly,
+        Whaly,
+      Tumbly-taily,
+      Mighty whale!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            x
+
+    X was once a great king Xerxes,
+          Xerxy,
+          Perxy,
+          Turxy,
+          Xerxy,
+        Linxy, lurxy,
+      Great King Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            y
+
+    Y was once a little yew,
+        Yewdy,
+        Fewdy,
+        Crudy,
+        Yewdy,
+    Growdy, grewdy,
+      Little yew!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            z
+
+    Z was once a piece of zinc,
+        Tinky,
+        Winky,
+        Blinky,
+        Tinky,
+      Tinkly minky,
+      Piece of zinc!
+
+
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    A was an ape,
+    Who stole some white tape,
+    And tied up his toes
+    In four beautiful bows.
+
+            a!
+
+    Funny old ape!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    B was a bat,
+    Who slept all the day,
+    And fluttered about
+    When the sun went away.
+
+            b!
+
+    Brown little bat!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    C was a camel:
+    You rode on his hump;
+    And if you fell off,
+    You came down such a bump!
+
+
+            c!
+
+    What a high camel!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    D was a dove,
+    Who lived in a wood,
+    With such pretty soft wings,
+    And so gentle and good!
+
+            d!
+
+    Dear little dove!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    E was an eagle,
+    Who sat on the rocks,
+    And looked down on the fields
+    And the-far-away flocks.
+
+            e!
+
+    Beautiful eagle!
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    F was a fan
+    Made of beautiful stuff;
+    And when it was used,
+    It went puffy-puff-puff!
+
+            f!
+
+    Nice little fan!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    G was a gooseberry,
+    Perfectly red;
+    To be made into jam,
+    And eaten with bread.
+
+            g!
+
+    Gooseberry red!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    H was a heron,
+    Who stood in a stream:
+    The length of his neck
+    And his legs was extreme.
+
+            h!
+
+    Long-legged heron!
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    I was an inkstand,
+    Which stood on a table,
+    With a nice pen to write with
+    When we are able.
+
+            i!
+
+    Neat little inkstand!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    J was a jug,
+    So pretty and white,
+    With fresh water in it
+    At morning and night.
+
+            j!
+
+    Nice little jug!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    K was a kingfisher:
+    Quickly he flew,
+    So bright and so pretty!--
+    Green, purple, and blue.
+
+            k!
+
+    Kingfisher blue!
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    L was a lily,
+    So white and so sweet!
+    To see it and smell it
+    Was quite a nice treat.
+
+            l!
+
+    Beautiful lily!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    M was a man,
+    Who walked round and round;
+    And he wore a long coat
+    That came down to the ground.
+
+            m!
+
+    Funny old man!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    N was a nut
+    So smooth and so brown!
+    And when it was ripe,
+    It fell tumble-dum-down.
+
+            n!
+
+    Nice little nut!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    O was an oyster,
+    Who lived in his shell:
+    If you let him alone,
+    He felt perfectly well.
+
+            o!
+
+    Open-mouthed oyster!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    P was a polly,
+    All red, blue, and green,--
+    The most beautiful polly
+    That ever was seen.
+
+            p!
+
+    Poor little polly!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a quill
+    Made into a pen;
+    But I do not know where,
+    And I cannot say when.
+
+            q!
+
+    Nice little quill!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    R was a rattlesnake,
+    Rolled up so tight,
+    Those who saw him ran quickly,
+    For fear he should bite.
+
+            r!
+
+    Rattlesnake bite!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    S was a screw
+    To screw down a box;
+    And then it was fastened
+    Without any locks.
+
+            s!
+
+    Valuable screw!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    T was a thimble,
+    Of silver so bright!
+    When placed on the finger,
+    It fitted so tight!
+
+            t!
+
+    Nice little thimble!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    U was an upper-coat,
+    Woolly and warm,
+    To wear over all
+    In the snow or the storm.
+
+            u!
+
+    What a nice upper-coat!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    V was a veil
+    With a border upon it,
+    And a ribbon to tie it
+    All round a pink bonnet.
+
+            v!
+
+    Pretty green veil!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    W was a watch,
+    Where, in letters of gold,
+    The hour of the day
+    You might always behold.
+
+            w!
+
+    Beautiful watch!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes,
+    Who wore on his head
+    A mighty large turban,
+    Green, yellow, and red.
+
+            x!
+
+    Look at King Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a yak,
+    From the land of Thibet:
+    Except his white tail,
+    He was all black as jet.
+
+            y!
+
+    Look at the yak!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Z was a zebra,
+    All striped white and black;
+    And if he were tame,
+    You might ride on his back.
+
+            z!
+
+    Pretty striped zebra!
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+MORE NONSENSE
+
+Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+  NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+  ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES
+
+  TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+In offering this little book--the third of its kind--to the public, I am
+glad to take the opportunity of recording the pleasure I have received at
+the appreciation its predecessors have met with, as attested by their wide
+circulation, and by the universally kind notices of them from the Press. To
+have been the means of administering innocent mirth to thousands, may
+surely be a just motive for satisfaction, and an excuse for grateful
+expression.
+
+At the same time, I am desirous of adding a few words as to the history of
+the two previously published volumes, and more particularly of the first or
+original "Book of Nonsense," relating to which many absurd reports have
+crept into circulation, such as that it was the composition of the late
+Lord Brougham, the late Earl of Derby, etc.; that the rhymes and pictures
+are by different persons; or that the whole have a symbolical meaning,
+etc.; whereas, every one of the Rhymes was composed by myself, and every
+one of the Illustrations drawn by my own hand at the time the verses were
+made. Moreover, in no portion of these Nonsense drawings have I ever
+allowed any caricature of private or public persons to appear, and
+throughout, more care than might be supposed has been given to make the
+subjects incapable of misinterpretation: "Nonsense," pure and absolute,
+having been my aim throughout.
+
+As for the persistently absurd report of the late Earl of Derby being the
+author of the "First Book of Nonsense," I may relate an incident which
+occurred to me four summers ago, the first that gave me any insight into
+the origin of the rumor.
+
+I was on my way from London to Guildford, in a railway carriage,
+containing, besides myself, one passenger, an elderly gentleman: presently,
+however, two ladies entered, accompanied by two little boys. These, who had
+just had a copy of the "Book of Nonsense" given them, were loud in their
+delight, and by degrees infected the whole party with their mirth.
+
+"How grateful," said the old gentleman to the two ladies, "all children,
+and parents too, ought to be to the statesman who has given his time to
+composing that charming book!"
+
+(The ladies looked puzzled, as indeed was I, the author.)
+
+"Do you not know who is the writer of it?" asked the gentleman.
+
+"The name is 'Edward Lear,'" said one of the ladies.
+
+"Ah!" said the first speaker, "so it is printed; but that is only a whim of
+the real author, the Earl of Derby. 'Edward' is his Christian name, and, as
+you may see, LEAR is only EARL transposed."
+
+"But," said the lady, doubtingly, "here is a dedication to the
+great-grandchildren, grand-nephews, and grand-nieces of Edward, thirteenth
+Earl of Derby, by the author, Edward Lear."
+
+"That," replied the other, "is simply a piece of mystification; I am in a
+position to know that the whole book was composed and illustrated by Lord
+Derby himself. In fact, there is no such a person at all as Edward Lear."
+
+"Yet," said the other lady, "some friends of mine tell me they know Mr.
+Lear."
+
+"Quite a mistake! completely a mistake!" said the old gentleman, becoming
+rather angry at the contradiction; "I am well aware of what I am saying: I
+can inform you, no such a person as 'Edward Lear' exists!"
+
+Hitherto I had kept silence; but as my hat was, as well as my handkerchief
+and stick, largely marked inside with my name, and as I happened to have in
+my pocket several letters addressed to me, the temptation was too great to
+resist; so, flashing all these articles at once on my would-be
+extinguisher's attention, I speedily reduced him to silence.
+
+The second volume of Nonsense, commencing with the verses, "The Owl and the
+Pussy-Cat," was written at different times, and for different sets of
+children: the whole being collected in the course of last year, were then
+illustrated, and published in a single volume, by Mr. R.J. Bush, of 32
+Charing Cross.
+
+The contents of the third or present volume were made also at different
+intervals in the last two years.
+
+Long years ago, in days when much of my time was passed in a country house,
+where children and mirth abounded, the lines beginning, "There was an old
+man of Tobago," were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+lending itself to limitless variety for rhymes and pictures; and
+thenceforth the greater part of the original drawings and verses for the
+first "Book of Nonsense" were struck off with a pen, no assistance ever
+having been given me in any way but that of uproarious delight and welcome
+at the appearance of every new absurdity.
+
+Most of these Drawings and Rhymes were transferred to lithographic stones
+in the year 1846, and were then first published by Mr. Thomas McLean, of
+the Haymarket. But that edition having been soon exhausted, and the call
+for the "Book of Nonsense" continuing, I added a considerable number of
+subjects to those previously-published, and having caused the whole to be
+carefully reproduced in woodcuts by Messrs. Dalzell, I disposed of the
+copyright to Messrs. Routledge and Warne, by whom the volume was published
+in 1843.
+                                                              EDWARD LEAR.
+
+VILLA EMILY, SAN REMO,
+August, 1871.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Barkia Howlaloudia.]
+
+[Illustration: Enkoopia Chickabiddia.]
+
+[Illustration: Jinglia Tinkettlia.]
+
+[Illustration: Nasticreechia Krorluppia.]
+
+[Illustration: Arthbroomia Rigida.]
+
+[Illustration: Sophtsluggia Glutinosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Minspysia Deliciosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Shoebootia Utilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Stunnia Dinnerbellia.]
+
+[Illustration: Tickia Orologica.]
+
+[Illustration: Washtubbia Circularis.]
+
+[Illustration: Tigerlillia Terribilis.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Bantry,
+    Who frequently slept in the pantry;
+    When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,
+    That judicious young person of Bantry.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man at a Junction,
+    Whose feelings were wrung with compunction
+    When they said, "The Train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How forlorn!"
+    But remained on the rails of the Junction.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Minety,
+    Who purchased five hundred and ninety
+    Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares
+    At the heads of the people of Minety.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Thermopylae,
+    Who never did anything properly;
+    But they said, "If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,
+    You shall never remain in Thermopylae."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Deal,
+    Who in walking used only his heel;
+    When they said, "Tell us why?" he made no reply,
+    That mysterious old person of Deal.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man on the Humber,
+    Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;
+    When he said, "It's enough!" they only said, "Stuff!
+    You amazing old man on the Humber!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a barge,
+    Whose nose was exceedingly large;
+    But in fishing by night, it supported a light,
+    Which helped that old man in a barge.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dunrose;
+    A parrot seized hold of his nose.
+    When he grew melancholy, they said, "His name's Polly,"
+    Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Toulouse
+    Who purchased a new pair of shoes;
+    When they asked, "Are they pleasant?" he said, "Not at present!"
+    That turbid old man of Toulouse.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bree,
+    Who frequented the depths of the sea;
+    She nurs'd the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,
+    And swam back again into Bree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bromley,
+    Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;
+    He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,
+    That unpleasing old person of Bromley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Shields,
+    Who frequented the vallies and fields;
+    All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,
+    Followed after that person of Shields.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dunluce,
+    Who went out to sea on a goose:
+    When he'd gone out a mile, he observ'd with a smile,
+    "It is time to return to Dunluce."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dee-side
+    Whose hat was exceedingly wide,
+    But he said, "Do not fail, if it happen to hail,
+    To come under my hat at Dee-side!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person in black,
+    A Grasshopper jumped on his back;
+    When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,
+    That helpless old person in black.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of the Dargle
+    Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;
+    For he said, "I'll sit still, and will roll them down hill,
+    For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pinner,
+    As thin as a lath, if not thinner;
+    They dressed him in white, and roll'd him up tight,
+    That elastic old person of Pinner.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of China,
+    Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,
+    Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,
+    And all of them settled in China.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a Marsh,
+    Whose manners were futile and harsh;
+    He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,
+    That instructive old man in a Marsh.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Brill,
+    Who purchased a shirt with a frill;
+    But they said, "Don't you wish, you mayn't look like a fish,
+    You obsequious old person of Brill?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Wick,
+    Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;
+    Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he said nothing more,
+    That laconic old person of Wick.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man at a Station,
+    Who made a promiscuous oration;
+    But they said, "Take some snuff!--You have talk'd quite enough,
+    You afflicting old man at a Station!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Three Bridges,
+    Whose mind was distracted by midges,
+    He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,
+    Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Hong Kong,
+    Who never did anything wrong;
+    He lay on his back, with his head in a sack,
+    That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in green,
+    Who seldom was fit to be seen;
+    She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all,
+    Which enveloped that person in green.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Fife,
+    Who was greatly disgusted with life;
+    They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,
+    Which cured that old person of Fife.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man who screamed out
+    Whenever they knocked him about:
+    So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,
+    And continued to knock him about.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady in white,
+    Who looked out at the depths of the night;
+    But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,
+    And oppressed that young lady in white.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Slough,
+    Who danced at the end of a bough;
+    But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,
+    You imprudent old person of Slough."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Down,
+    Whose face was adorned with a frown;
+    When he opened the door, for one minute or more,
+    He alarmed all the people of Down.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in red,
+    Who carefully covered her head,
+    With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather,
+    Besides some long ribands of red.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Hove,
+    Who frequented the depths of a grove;
+    Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,
+    That tranquil old person of Hove.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in pink,
+    Who called out for something to drink;
+    But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water!"
+    Which vexed that young person in pink.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old lady of France,
+    Who taught little ducklings to dance;
+    When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they only said, "Quack!"
+    Which grieved that old lady of France.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Putney,
+    Whose food was roast spiders and chutney,
+    Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea,
+    That romantic old person of Putney.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Loo,
+    Who said, "What on earth shall I do?"
+    When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay,
+    That vexatious old person of Loo.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Woking,
+    Whose mind was perverse and provoking;
+    He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail,
+    That illusive old person of Woking.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Dean
+    Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
+    For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"
+    That cautious old person of Dean.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady in blue,
+    Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?"
+    When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!"
+    That ungracious young lady in blue.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Man in a Garden,
+    Who always begged every one's pardon;
+    When they asked him, "What for?" he replied, "You're a bore!
+    And I trust you'll go out of my garden."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pisa,
+    Whose daughters did nothing to please her;
+    She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day,
+    Round the walls of the city of Pisa.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Florence,
+    Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
+    He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,
+    Which choked that old person of Florence.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sheen,
+    Whose expression was calm and serene;
+    He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,
+    That placid old person of Sheen.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ware,
+    Who rode on the back of a bear;
+    When they ask'd, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!
+    He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Janina,
+    Whose uncle was always a fanning her;
+    When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said,
+    "You propitious old person of Janina!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Cashmere,
+    Whose movements were scroobious and queer;
+    Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,
+    And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Cassel,
+    Whose nose finished off in a tassel;
+    But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell!"
+    Which perplexed that old person of Cassel.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pett,
+    Who was partly consumed by regret;
+    He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,
+    Which relieved that old person of Pett.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Spithead,
+    Who opened the window, and said,--
+    "Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"
+    That doubtful old man of Spithead.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man on the Border,
+    Who lived in the utmost disorder;
+    He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,
+    Which vexed all the folks on the Border.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dumbree,
+    Who taught little owls to drink tea;
+    For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"
+    That amiable man of Dumbree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Filey,
+    Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
+    He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,
+    And delighted the people of Filey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man whose remorse
+    Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;
+    For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,
+    It will certainly soothe your remorse!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Ibreem,
+    Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;
+    But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue,
+    You disgusting old man of Ibreem!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Wilts,
+    Who constantly walked upon stilts;
+    He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,
+    That elegant person of Wilts.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Grange,
+    Whose manners were scroobious and strange;
+    He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,
+    That aquatic old person of Grange.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Newry,
+    Whose manners were tinctured with fury;
+    He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,
+    Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dumblane,
+    Who greatly resembled a crane;
+    But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
+    To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Port Grigor,
+    Whose actions were noted for vigour;
+    He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,
+    That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of El Hums,
+    Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
+    Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
+    In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of West Dumpet,
+    Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
+    When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,
+    And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sark,
+    Who made an unpleasant remark;
+    But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be,
+    You obnoxious old person of Sark!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man whose despair
+    Induced him to purchase a hare:
+    Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away,
+    Which partly assuaged his despair.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Barnes,
+    Whose garments were covered with darns;
+    But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out,
+    You luminous person of Barnes!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Nice,
+    Whose associates were usually Geese.
+    They walked out together in all sorts of weather,
+    That affable person of Nice!
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Greenwich,
+    Whose garments were border'd with Spinach;
+    But a large spotty Calf bit her shawl quite in half,
+    Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Cannes,
+    Who purchased three fowls and a fan;
+    Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool
+    She constantly fanned them at Cannes.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ickley,
+    Who could not abide to ride quickly;
+    He rode to Karnak on a tortoise's back,
+    That moony old person of Ickley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Hyde,
+    Who walked by the shore with his bride,
+    Till a Crab who came near fill'd their bosoms with fear,
+    And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person in gray,
+    Whose feelings were tinged with dismay;
+    She purchased two parrots, and fed them with carrots,
+    Which pleased that old person in gray.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Ancona,
+    Who found a small dog with no owner,
+    Which he took up and down all the streets of the town,
+    That anxious old man of Ancona.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sestri,
+    Who sate himself down in the vestry;
+    When they said, "You are wrong!" he merely said "Bong!"
+    That repulsive old person of Sestri.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Blythe,
+    Who cut up his meat with a scythe;
+    When they said, "Well! I never!" he cried, "Scythes for ever!"
+    That lively old person of Blythe.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Ayr,
+    Whose head was remarkably square:
+    On the top, in fine weather, she wore a gold feather;
+    Which dazzled the people of Ayr.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Rimini,
+    Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!"
+    When they said, "Please be still!" she ran down a hill,
+    And was never more heard of at Rimini.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There is a young lady, whose nose,
+    Continually prospers and grows;
+    When it grew out of sight, she exclaimed in a fright,
+    "Oh! Farewell to the end of my nose!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ealing,
+    Who was wholly devoid of good feeling;
+    He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig,
+    Which distressed all the people of Ealing.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Thames Ditton,
+    Who called out for something to sit on;
+    But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon that,
+    You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bray,
+    Who sang through the whole of the day
+    To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs,
+    That valuable person of Bray.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person whose history
+    Was always considered a mystery;
+    She sate in a ditch, although no one knew which,
+    And composed a small treatise on history.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bow,
+    Whom nobody happened to know;
+    So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope
+    You will go back directly to Bow!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Rye,
+    Who went up to town on a fly;
+    But they said, "If you cough, you are safe to fall off!
+    You abstemious old person of Rye!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Crowle,
+    Who lived in the nest of an owl;
+    When they screamed in the nest, he screamed out with the rest,
+    That depressing old person of Crowle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,
+    Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see
+    On the floor of my room, sweep it up with the broom!"
+    That exhaustive old Lady of Winchelsea!
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a tree,
+    Whose whiskers were lovely to see;
+    But the birds of the air pluck'd them perfectly bare,
+    To make themselves nests in that tree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Corsica,
+    Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur;
+    Which she fed upon ham, and hot raspberry jam,
+    That expensive young lady of Corsica.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Firle,
+    Whose hair was addicted to curl;
+    It curled up a tree, and all over the sea,
+    That expansive young lady of Firle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Stroud,
+    Who was horribly jammed in a crowd;
+    Some she slew with a kick, some she scrunched with a stick,
+    That impulsive old person of Stroud.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Boulak,
+    Who sate on a Crocodile's back;
+    But they said, "Towr'ds the night he may probably bite,
+    Which might vex you, old man of Boulak!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Skye,
+    Who waltz'd with a Bluebottle fly:
+    They buzz'd a sweet tune, to the light of the moon,
+    And entranced all the people of Skye.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Blackheath,
+    Whose head was adorned with a wreath
+    Of lobsters and spice, pickled onions and mice,
+    That uncommon old man of Blackheath.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man, who when little
+    Fell casually into a kettle;
+    But, growing too stout, he could never get out,
+    So he passed all his life in that kettle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Dundalk,
+    Who tried to teach fishes to walk;
+    When they tumbled down dead, he grew weary, and said,
+    "I had better go back to Dundalk!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Shoreham,
+    Whose habits were marked by decorum;
+    He bought an Umbrella, and sate in the cellar,
+    Which pleased all the people of Shoreham.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bar,
+    Who passed all her life in a jar,
+    Which she painted pea-green, to appear more serene,
+    That placid old person of Bar.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Kew,
+    Whose virtues and vices were few;
+    But with blamable haste she devoured some hot paste,
+    Which destroyed that young person of Kew.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Jodd,
+    Whose ways were perplexing and odd;
+    She purchased a whistle, and sate on a thistle,
+    And squeaked to the people of Jodd.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bude,
+    Whose deportment was vicious and crude;
+    He wore a large ruff of pale straw-colored stuff,
+    Which perplexed all the people of Bude.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Brigg,
+    Who purchased no end of a wig;
+    So that only his nose, and the end of his toes,
+    Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Messina,
+    Whose daughter was named Opsibeena;
+    She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig,
+    To the perfect delight of Messina.
+
+
+
+
+TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES.
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,
+    who resided in a Barrel, and only lived on
+    Soda Water and Pickled Cucumbers.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Bountiful Beetle,
+    who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn't rain,
+    and left it at home when it did.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Comfortable Confidential Cow,
+    who sate in her Red Morocco Arm Chair and
+    toasted her own Bread at the parlour Fire.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Dolomphious Duck,
+    who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner
+    with a Runcible Spoon.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Enthusiastic Elephant,
+    who ferried himself across the water with the
+    Kitchen Poker and a New pair of Ear-rings.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Fizzgiggious Fish,
+    who always walked about upon Stilts,
+    because he had no legs.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Good-natured Grey Gull,
+    who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag,
+    across the river, because he could not swim.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,
+    who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,
+    and bought a Fish for her Supper.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Inventive Indian,
+    who caught a Remarkable Rabbit in a
+    Stupendous Silver Spoon.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Judicious Jubilant Jay,
+    who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses,
+    Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Kicking Kangaroo,
+    who wore a Pale Pink Muslin dress
+    with Blue spots.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Lively Learned Lobster,
+    who mended his own Clothes with
+    a Needle and Thread.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,
+    who played a merry minuet on the
+    Piano-forte.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Nutritious Newt,
+    who purchased a Round Plum-pudding
+    for his grand-daughter.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,
+    who wore Boots to keep his
+    feet quite dry.
+
+    [Illustration: PARSNIP PIE]
+
+    The Perpendicular Purple Polly,
+    who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie
+    with his Spectacles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Queer Querulous Quail,
+    who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of
+    a Tin Tea-kettle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Rural Runcible Raven,
+    who wore a White Wig and flew away
+    with the Carpet Broom.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Scroobious Snake,
+    who always wore a Hat on his Head, for
+    fear he should bite anybody.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,
+    who beat a Drum all day long in the
+    middle of the wilderness.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,
+    whose Face nobody ever saw, because it was
+    always covered by his Umbrella.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Visibly Vicious Vulture,
+    who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a
+    Volume bound in Vellum.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,
+    who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a
+    Flute with a Morning Cap.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Excellent Double-extra XX
+    imbibing King Xerxes, who lived a
+    long while ago.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+    whose Head was ever so much bigger than his
+    Body, and whose Hat was rather small.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,
+    who carried five Monkeys on his back all
+    the way to Jellibolee.
+
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+LAUGHABLE LYRICS
+
+A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+Author of the _Book of Nonsense_, _More Nonsense_,
+_Nonsense Songs, Stories_, etc., etc.
+
+
+With All the Original Illustrations.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+    LAUGHABLE LYRICS.
+        THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE
+        THE TWO OLD BACHELORS
+        THE PELICAN CHORUS
+        THE YONGHY-BONGHY-Bò
+        THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES
+        THE NEW VESTMENTS
+        MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS
+        THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT
+        THE CUMMERBUND
+        THE AKOND OF SWAT
+
+    NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+      " ALPHABET, No. 5
+      "       "   No. 6
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+LAUGHABLE LYRICS.
+
+
+THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    When awful darkness and silence reign
+    Over the great Gromboolian plain,
+        Through the long, long wintry nights;
+    When the angry breakers roar
+    As they beat on the rocky shore;
+        When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights
+    Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,--
+
+    Then, through the vast and gloomy dark
+    There moves what seems a fiery spark,--
+        A lonely spark with silvery rays
+        Piercing the coal-black night,--
+        A Meteor strange and bright:
+    Hither and thither the vision strays,
+        A single lurid light.
+
+    Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,--
+    Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps;
+    And ever as onward it gleaming goes
+    A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.
+    And those who watch at that midnight hour
+    From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,
+    Cry, as the wild light passes along,--
+       "The Dong! the Dong!
+      The wandering Dong through the forest goes!
+        The Dong! the Dong!
+      The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
+
+        Long years ago
+      The Dong was happy and gay,
+    Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl
+      Who came to those shores one day.
+    For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,--
+    Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd
+        Where the Oblong Oysters grow,
+      And the rocks are smooth and gray.
+    And all the woods and the valleys rang
+    With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,--
+        "_Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
+          Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve._"
+
+    Happily, happily passed those days!
+      While the cheerful Jumblies staid;
+        They danced in circlets all night long,
+        To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,
+      In moonlight, shine, or shade.
+    For day and night he was always there
+    By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,
+    With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair;
+    Till the morning came of that hateful day
+    When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,
+    And the Dong was left on the cruel shore
+    Gazing, gazing for evermore,--
+    Ever keeping his weary eyes on
+    That pea-green sail on the far horizon,--
+    Singing the Jumbly Chorus still
+    As he sate all day on the grassy hill,--
+        "_Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
+          Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve_."
+
+    But when the sun was low in the West,
+        The Dong arose and said,--
+    "What little sense I once possessed
+        Has quite gone out of my head!"
+    And since that day he wanders still
+    By lake and forest, marsh and hill,
+    Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain,
+    Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!
+    For ever I'll seek by lake and shore
+    Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!"
+
+        Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,
+        Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks;
+        And because by night he could not see,
+        He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree
+          On the flowery plain that grows.
+          And he wove him a wondrous Nose,--
+        A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!
+
+    Of vast proportions and painted red,
+    And tied with cords to the back of his head.
+        In a hollow rounded space it ended
+        With a luminous Lamp within suspended,
+            All fenced about
+            With a bandage stout
+            To prevent the wind from blowing it out;
+        And with holes all round to send the light
+        In gleaming rays on the dismal night
+
+    And now each night, and all night long,
+    Over those plains still roams the Dong;
+    And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe
+    You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,
+    While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,
+    To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;
+    Lonely and wild, all night he goes,--
+    The Dong with a luminous Nose!
+    And all who watch at the midnight hour,
+    From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,
+    Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,
+    Moving along through the dreary night,--
+       "This is the hour when forth he goes,
+        The Dong with a luminous Nose!
+        Yonder, over the plain he goes,--
+            He goes!
+            He goes,--
+        The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
+
+
+
+
+THE TWO OLD BACHELORS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Two old Bachelors were living in one house;
+One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.
+Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,--
+"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house,
+Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,
+And what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money?
+And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner,
+But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?"
+
+Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,--
+"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'!
+If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;
+But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!"
+
+Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town
+And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down;
+They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found
+In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round.
+
+But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north,
+And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;
+And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,--
+An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page.
+Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all studious as he sits,--
+And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits!
+Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),--
+When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps."
+
+Those two old Bachelors without loss of time
+The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb;
+And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook,
+They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book.
+
+"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in!
+We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!"
+
+But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book,
+At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;
+And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,--
+At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town;
+And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want
+                                                          of Stuffin'),
+The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin.
+
+They left their home in silence by the once convivial door;
+And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more.
+
+
+[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans]
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+THE PELICAN CHORUS.
+
+    King and Queen of the Pelicans we;
+     No other Birds so grand we see!
+    None but we have feet like fins!
+    With lovely leathery throats and chins!
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still
+
+    We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.
+    By night we sleep on the cliffs above;
+    By day we fish, and at eve we stand
+    On long bare islands of yellow sand.
+    And when the sun sinks slowly down,
+    And the great rock walls grow dark and brown,
+
+    Where the purple river rolls fast and dim
+    And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,
+    Wing to wing we dance around,
+    Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound,
+    Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;
+    And this is the song we nightly snort,--
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    Last year came out our Daughter Dell,
+    And all the Birds received her well.
+    To do her honor a feast we made
+    For every bird that can swim or wade,--
+    Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,
+    Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,
+    Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,
+    Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:
+    Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!
+    They ate and drank and danced all night,
+    And echoing back from the rocks you heard
+    Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,--
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    Yes, they came; and among the rest
+    The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.
+    Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float
+    Between the ends of his blue dress-coat;
+    With pea-green trowsers all so neat,
+    And a delicate frill to hide his feet
+    (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows
+    He has got no webs between his toes).
+
+    As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,
+    In violent love that Crane King fell,--
+    On seeing her waddling form so fair,
+    With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair.
+    And before the end of the next long day
+    Our Dell had given her heart away;
+    For the King of the Cranes had won that heart
+    With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.
+    She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,
+    Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;
+    And away they flew in a gathering crowd
+    Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud.
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    And far away in the twilight sky
+    We heard them singing a lessening cry,--
+    Farther and farther, till out of sight,
+    And we stood alone in the silent night!
+    Often since, in the nights of June,
+    We sit on the sand and watch the moon,--
+
+    She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain,
+    And we probably never shall meet again!
+    Oft, in the long still nights of June,
+    We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,--
+    She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore.
+    And we probably never shall see her more.
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+[NOTE.--The Air of this and the following Song by Edward Lear; the
+Arrangement for the Piano by Professor Pomè, of San Remo, Italy.]
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Yonghy Bonghy Bò]
+
+
+
+THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BÒ.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    On the Coast of Coromandel
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          In the middle of the woods
+      Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    Two old chairs, and half a candle,
+    One old jug without a handle,--
+          These were all his worldly goods:
+          In the middle of the woods,
+          These were all the worldly goods
+      Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bò.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Once, among the Bong-trees walking
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          To a little heap of stones
+      Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    There he heard a Lady talking,
+    To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,--
+        "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!
+          On that little heap of stones
+          Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+   "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!
+         Sitting where the pumpkins blow,
+           Will you come and be my wife?"
+       Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+   "I am tired of living singly--
+    On this coast so wild and shingly,--
+          I'm a-weary of my life;
+          If you'll come and be my wife,
+          Quite serene would be my life!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    "On this Coast of Coromandel
+         Shrimps and watercresses grow,
+           Prawns are plentiful and cheap,"
+       Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+   "You shall have my chairs and candle,
+    And my jug without a handle!
+          Gaze upon the rolling deep
+         (Fish is plentiful and cheap);
+          As the sea, my love is deep!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Lady Jingly answered sadly,
+         And her tears began to flow,--
+          "Your proposal comes too late,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+    I would be your wife most gladly!"
+    (Here she twirled her fingers madly,)
+         "But in England I've a mate!
+          Yes! you've asked me far too late,
+          For in England I've a mate,
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+   "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,--
+         Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.)
+           Dorking fowls delights to send,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+    Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle,
+    And your jug without a handle,--
+          I can merely be your friend!
+          Should my Jones more Dorkings send,
+          I will give you three, my friend!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bò!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+
+
+                    VII.
+
+   "Though you've such a tiny body,
+         And your head so large doth grow,--
+           Though your hat may blow away,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+    Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy,
+    Yet I wish that I could modi-
+          fy the words I needs must say!
+          Will you please to go away?
+          That is all I have to say,
+      Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bò!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!"
+
+
+                    VIII.
+
+    Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle,
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          To the calm and silent sea
+       Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle,
+    Lay a large and lively Turtle.
+         "You're the Cove," he said, "for me;
+          On your back beyond the sea,
+          Turtle, you shall carry me!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    IX.
+
+    Through the silent-roaring ocean
+        Did the Turtle swiftly go;
+          Holding fast upon his shell
+      Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    With a sad primaeval motion
+    Towards the sunset isles of Boshen
+          Still the Turtle bore him well.
+          Holding fast upon his shell,
+         "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"
+      Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    X.
+
+    From the Coast of Coromandel
+        Did that Lady never go;
+          On that heap of stones she mourns
+      For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    On that Coast of Coromandel,
+    In his jug without a handle
+        Still she weeps, and daily moans;
+        On that little heap of stones
+        To her Dorking Hens she moans,
+          For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+          For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+
+
+THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes
+        Had once as many as we;
+    When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;"
+        He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!"
+    And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink
+    Lavender water tinged with pink;
+    For she said, "The World in general knows
+    There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!"
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes,
+        Swam across the Bristol Channel;
+    But before he set out he wrapped his nose
+        In a piece of scarlet flannel.
+    For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm
+    Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;
+    And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes
+    Are safe--provided he minds his nose."
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    The Pobble swam fast and well,
+        And when boats or ships came near him,
+    He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell
+        So that all the world could hear him.
+    And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,
+    When they saw him nearing the further side,--
+   "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's
+    Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    But before he touched the shore,--
+        The shore of the Bristol Channel,
+    A sea-green Porpoise carried away
+        His wrapper of scarlet flannel.
+    And when he came to observe his feet,
+    Formerly garnished with toes so neat,
+    His face at once became forlorn
+    On perceiving that all his toes were gone!
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    And nobody ever knew,
+        From that dark day to the present,
+    Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,
+        In a manner so far from pleasant.
+    Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray,
+    Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,
+    Nobody knew; and nobody knows
+    How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes
+        Was placed in a friendly Bark,
+    And they rowed him back, and carried him up
+        To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.
+    And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,
+    Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;
+    And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,
+    That Pobbles are happier without their toes."
+
+
+
+
+THE NEW VESTMENTS.
+
+    There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,
+    Who invented a purely original dress;
+    And when it was perfectly made and complete,
+    He opened the door and walked into the street.
+
+    By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,
+    In the middle of which he inserted his head;
+    His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,
+    The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;
+    His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;
+    His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;
+    His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;
+    His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;
+    His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,
+    And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;
+    And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,
+    A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.
+
+    He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,
+    Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;
+    And from every long street and dark lane in the town
+    Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.
+    Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;
+    Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;
+    Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,
+    And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;
+    An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his
+    Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;
+    And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,
+    Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.
+    He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,
+    For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:
+    They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;
+    They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;
+    And now from the housetops with screechings descend
+    Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end:
+    They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,
+    When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;
+    They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,
+    And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;
+    They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,--
+    Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.
+
+    And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,
+   "I will not wear a similar dress any more,
+    Any more, any more, any more, never more!"
+
+
+
+
+MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS.
+
+                    I.
+
+    Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
+        Climbed to the top of a wall.
+      And they sate to watch the sunset sky,
+      And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,
+        And the Biscuit Buffalo call.
+    They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,
+    And both were as happy as happy could be,
+            Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,--
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            It has just come into my head,
+      Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!
+                        Darling Mr. Discobbolos!
+
+
+                    II.
+
+   "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,
+        Just like pieces of stone,
+      On to the thorns, or into the moat,
+      What would become of your new green coat?
+        And might you not break a bone?
+    It never occurred to me before,
+    That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"
+            And Mrs. Discobbolos said,
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            What put it into your head
+      To climb up this wall, my own
+                        Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    Mr. Discobbolos answered,
+       "At first it gave me pain,
+      And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink
+      When your exclamation made me think
+        We might never get down again!
+    But now I believe it is wiser far
+    To remain for ever just where we are."
+            And Mr. Discobbolos said,
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            It has just come into my head
+      We shall never go down again,
+                        Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
+        Stood up and began to sing,--
+     "Far away from hurry and strife
+      Here we will pass the rest of life,
+        Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!
+    We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,
+    No tables nor carpets nor household cares;
+            From worry of life we've fled;
+            Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            There is no more trouble ahead,
+      Sorrow or any such thing,
+                        For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"
+
+
+
+
+THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
+        The Quangle Wangle sat,
+    But his face you could not see,
+        On account of his Beaver Hat.
+    For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,
+    With ribbons and bibbons on every side,
+    And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,
+    So that nobody ever could see the face
+            Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    The Quangle Wangle said
+        To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
+    "Jam, and jelly, and bread
+        Are the best of food for me!
+    But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree
+    The plainer than ever it seems to me
+    That very few people come this way
+    And that life on the whole is far from gay!"
+            Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    But there came to the Crumpetty Tree
+        Mr. and Mrs. Canary;
+    And they said, "Did ever you see
+        Any spot so charmingly airy?
+    May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?
+    Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
+    O please let us come and build a nest
+    Of whatever material suits you best,
+            Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree
+        Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;
+    The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,
+        The Frog and the Fimble Fowl
+    (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);
+    And all of them said, "We humbly beg
+    We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,--
+    Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
+       Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    And the Golden Grouse came there,
+        And the Pobble who has no toes,
+    And the small Olympian bear,
+        And the Dong with a luminous nose.
+    And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,
+    And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,
+    And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,--
+    All came and built on the lovely Hat
+      Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+                    VI.
+
+    And the Quangle Wangle said
+        To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
+    "When all these creatures move
+        What a wonderful noise there'll be!"
+    And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon
+    They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,
+    On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,
+    And all were as happy as happy could be,
+      With the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+
+
+THE CUMMERBUND.
+An Indian Poem.
+
+                    I.
+
+She sate upon her Dobie,
+    To watch the Evening Star,
+And all the Punkahs, as they passed,
+    Cried, "My! how fair you are!"
+Around her bower, with quivering leaves,
+    The tall Kamsamahs grew,
+And Kitmutgars in wild festoons
+    Hung down from Tchokis blue.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+Below her home the river rolled
+    With soft meloobious sound,
+Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam,
+    In myriads circling round.
+Above, on tallest trees remote
+    Green Ayahs perched alone,
+And all night long the Mussak moan'd
+    Its melancholy tone.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+And where the purple Nullahs threw
+    Their branches far and wide,
+And silvery Goreewallahs flew
+    In silence, side by side,
+The little Bheesties' twittering cry
+    Rose on the flagrant air,
+And oft the angry Jampan howled
+    Deep in his hateful lair.
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+She sate upon her Dobie,
+    She heard the Nimmak hum,
+When all at once a cry arose,
+    "The Cummerbund is come!"
+In vain she fled: with open jaws
+    The angry monster followed,
+And so (before assistance came)
+    That Lady Fair was swollowed.
+
+
+                    V.
+
+They sought in vain for even a bone
+    Respectfully to bury;
+They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!"
+    (And Echo answered, "Very.")
+They nailed her Dobie to the wall,
+    Where last her form was seen,
+And underneath they wrote these words,
+    In yellow, blue, and green:
+"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!
+    Nor sit out late at night,
+Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,
+    And swollow you outright."
+
+
+NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874.
+
+
+
+
+THE AKOND OF SWAT.
+
+
+    Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT?
+    Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?
+    Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,             or SQUAT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
+    Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,             or HOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,
+    And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,          or TROT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?
+    Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,          or a COT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
+    Does he cross his T's and finish his I's              with a DOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Can he write a letter concisely clear
+    Without a speck or a smudge or smear                    or BLOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Do his people like him extremely well?
+    Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,                   or PLOT,
+                                                    At the Akond of Swat?
+
+    If he catches them then, either old or young,
+    Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,            or _shot_,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Do his people prig in the lanes or park?
+    Or even at times, when days are dark,                   GAROTTE?
+                                                     O the Akond of Swat!
+
+    Does he study the wants of his own dominion?
+    Or doesn't he care for public opinion                    a JOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    To amuse his mind do his people show him
+    Pictures, or any one's last new poem,                    or WHAT,
+                                                   For the Akond of Swat?
+
+    At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,
+    Do they bring him only a few small cakes,               or a LOT,
+                                                   For the Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?
+    Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,      or a DOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like to lie on his back in a boat
+    Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,            SHALLOTT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?
+    Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,           or a SCOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?
+    Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,            or a GROTT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
+    Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?              or a POT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,
+    When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,            or ROT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,
+    And tie it neat in a bow with ends,                    or a KNOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
+    When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,          or NOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
+    Does he sail about on an inland lake,                  in a YACHT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
+    Who or which or why or what
+                                                    Is the Akond of Swat!
+
+
+NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_.
+The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the
+monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia.]
+
+[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.]
+
+[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida.]
+
+[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica.]
+
+[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice.]
+
+[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum.]
+
+[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa.]
+
+[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyöides.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE ALPHABETS.
+
+
+                     A
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    A was an Area Arch
+        Where washerwomen sat;
+    They made a lot of lovely starch
+        To starch Papa's Cravat.
+
+
+                     B
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    B was a Bottle blue,
+        Which was not very small;
+    Papa he filled it full of beer,
+        And then he drank it all.
+
+
+                     C
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    C was Papa's gray Cat,
+        Who caught a squeaky Mouse;
+    She pulled him by his twirly tail
+        All about the house.
+
+
+                     D
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    D was Papa's white Duck,
+        Who had a curly tail;
+    One day it ate a great fat frog,
+        Besides a leetle snail.
+
+
+                     E
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    E was a little Egg,
+        Upon the breakfast table;
+    Papa came in and ate it up
+        As fast as he was able.
+
+
+                     F
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    F was a little Fish.
+        Cook in the river took it
+    Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!
+        And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"
+
+
+                     G
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    G was Papa's new Gun;
+        He put it in a box;
+    And then he went and bought a bun,
+        And walked about the Docks.
+
+
+                     H
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    H was Papa's new Hat;
+        He wore it on his head;
+    Outside it was completely black,
+        But inside it was red.
+
+
+                     I
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    I was an Inkstand new,
+        Papa he likes to use it;
+    He keeps it in his pocket now,
+        For fear that he should lose it.
+
+
+                     J
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    J was some Apple Jam,
+        Of which Papa ate part;
+    But all the rest he took away
+        And stuffed into a tart.
+
+
+                     K
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    K was a great new Kite;
+        Papa he saw it fly
+    Above a thousand chimney pots,
+        And all about the sky.
+
+
+                     L
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    L was a fine new Lamp;
+        But when the wick was lit,
+    Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!
+        I cannot read a bit!"
+
+
+                     M
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    M was a dish of mince;
+        It looked so good to eat!
+    Papa, he quickly ate it up,
+        And said, "This is a treat!"
+
+
+                     N
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    N was a Nut that grew
+        High up upon a tree;
+    Papa, who could not reach it, said,
+        "That's _much_ too high for me!"
+
+
+                     O
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    O was an Owl who flew
+        All in the dark away,
+    Papa said, "What an owl you are!
+        Why don't you fly by day?"
+
+                     P
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    P was a little Pig,
+        Went out to take a walk;
+    Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,
+        He'd all turn into Pork!"
+
+
+                     Q
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a Quince that hung
+        Upon a garden tree;
+    Papa he brought it with him home,
+        And ate it with his tea.
+
+
+                     R
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    R was a Railway Rug
+        Extremely large and warm;
+    Papa he wrapped it round his head,
+        In a most dreadful storm.
+
+
+                     S
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    S was Papa's new Stick,
+        Papa's new thumping Stick,
+    To thump extremely wicked boys,
+        Because it was so thick.
+
+
+                     T
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    T was a tumbler full
+        Of Punch all hot and good;
+    Papa he drank it up, when in
+        The middle of a wood.
+
+
+                     U
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    U was a silver urn,
+        Full of hot scalding water;
+    Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,
+        I'd give it to my daughter!"
+
+
+                     V
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    V was a Villain; once
+        He stole a piece of beef.
+    Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!
+        That Villain is a Thief!"
+
+
+                     W
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    W was a Watch of Gold:
+        It told the time of day,
+    So that Papa knew when to come,
+        And when to go away.
+
+
+                     X
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes, whom
+        Papa much wished to know;
+    But this he could not do, because
+        Xerxes died long ago.
+
+
+                     Y
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a Youth, who kicked
+        And screamed and cried like mad;
+    Papa he said, "Your conduct is
+        Abominably bad!"
+
+
+                     Z
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Z was a Zebra striped
+        And streaked with lines of black;
+    Papa said once, he thought he'd like
+        A ride upon his back.
+
+
+
+
+ALPHABET, No. 6.
+
+    A tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood,
+
+    B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!"
+
+    C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm."
+
+    D said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm."
+
+    E said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well."
+
+    F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell."
+
+    G said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold."
+
+    H said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold."
+
+    I said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon."
+
+    J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!"
+
+    K said, "A Kangaroo is here,--this picture let him see."
+
+    L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea."
+
+    M said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction."
+
+    N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction."
+
+    O said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink."
+
+    P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think."
+
+    Q said, "A Quince I recommend,--a Quince, or else a Quail."
+
+    R said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail."
+
+    S said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!"
+
+    T said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!"
+
+    U said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!"
+
+    V said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!"
+
+    W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!"
+
+    X said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!"
+
+    Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!"
+
+    Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!
+             We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little
+                 master!
+             We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad
+                 disaster!"
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NONSENSE BOOKS***
+
+
+******* This file should be named 13650-8.txt or 13650-8.zip *******
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+<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, Nonsense Books, by Edward Lear</h1>

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+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or

+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

+with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre>

+<p>Title: Nonsense Books</p>

+<p>Author: Edward Lear</p>

+<p>Release Date: October 8, 2004  [eBook #13650]</p>

+<p>Language: English</p>

+<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p>

+<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NONSENSE BOOKS***</p>

+<br /><br /><h3>E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney,<br />

+                A. Deubelbeiss, Stan Goodman,<br />

+                and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders</h3><br /><br />

+<div class="thecover" id="nonsensebooks">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="thecover">

+		<tr align="center">

+			<td align="center" valign="top" width="40%">

+				<h1>NONSENSE BOOKS</h1>

+				<h2>By Edward Lear.</h2>

+				<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0">

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center" valign="top" width="100%">

+							<img src="images/383.gif" alt="Nonsense Books" />

+							<p align="center">With all the Original Illustrations.<br />

+							</p>

+							<h2>1894.</h2>

+							<p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book1.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book1_t.gif" alt="A Book of Nonsense" /></a> <a href="images/bookcovers/book2.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book2_t.gif" alt="Nonsense Songs, Stories, etc" /></a> <a href="images/bookcovers/book3.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book3_t.gif" alt="More Nonsense Pictures, etc." /></a> <a href="images/bookcovers/book4.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" /></a><br />

+							<b>1894 Covers&#8212;</b> Click for larger versions.

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+				</table>

+			</td>

+			<td align="center" valign="middle">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page003" id="page003" title="003"></a>

+				<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="middle">

+							<ul class="tableofcontents" id="collectioncontents">

+								<li><a href="#nonsensebooks"><b>Nonsense Books</b></a>

+									<ul>

+										<li>"<a href="#pleasant">How Pleasant to Know Mr. Lear</a>"</li>

+										<li><a href="#introduction">Introduction</a></li>

+										<li><b>I.</b> <a href="#book1" id="cont1"><b>A Book of Nonsense</b></a>.

+											<ul>

+												<li><a href="#dedication">Dedication</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#rhymes">Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures</a></li>

+											</ul>

+										</li>

+										<li><b>II.</b> <a href="#book2" id="cont2"><b>Nonsense Songs, Stories, Botany, and Alphabets</b></a>.

+											<ul>

+												<li><a href="#songs">Nonsense Songs</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#stories">Nonsense Stories</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#botany">Nonsense Botany</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#alphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a></li>

+											</ul>

+										</li>

+										<li><b>III.</b> <a href="#book3" id="cont3"><b>More Nonsense Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc</b></a>.

+											<ul>

+												<li><a href="#introduction3">Introduction</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#botany2">Nonsense Botany</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#rhymes2">One Hundred Nonsense Pictures and Rhymes</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#alphabet4">Twenty-six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures</a></li>

+											</ul>

+										</li>

+										<li><b>IV.</b> <a href="#book4" id="cont4"><b>Laughable Lyrics: A Fresh Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, etc</b></a>.

+											<ul>

+												<li><a href="#laughable">Laughable Lyrics.</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#botany3">Nonsense Botany</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#alphabets2">Nonsense Alphabets</a></li>

+											</ul>

+										</li>

+									</ul>

+								</li>

+								<li><a href="#indices"><b>Index</b></a> <span class="smaller">(added 2004)</span>

+									<ul>

+										<li><a href="#indexfirstlines">By First Lines</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#indexalphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#indexbotany">Nonsense Botanies</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#indexpoems">Nonsense Songs and Stories</a></li>

+									</ul>

+								</li>

+							</ul>

+							<p class="note" align="left"><b>PUBLISHERS' NOTICE:</b><br />

+							The first "<a href="#cont1">Book of Nonsense</a>" was published in

+							1846. Three other volumes,&#8212;"<a href="#cont2">Nonsense Songs,

+							Stories, etc.</a>," published in 1871; "<a href="#cont3">More Nonsense

+							Pictures, etc.</a>," in 1872; and "<a href="#cont4">Laughable Lyrics: A

+							Fresh Book of Nonsense, etc.</a>," in 1877,&#8212;comprise

+							all the "Nonsense Books" written by Mr. Lear.

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page005" id="page005" title="005"></a>

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+				</table>

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+		<tr>

+			<td align="left">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page004" id="page004" title="004"></a>

+				<blockquote class="smaller">

+					<i>Surely the most beneficent and innocent of all books

+					yet produced is the "Book of Nonsense," with its corollary

+					carols, inimitable and refreshing, and perfect in rhythm.

+					I really don't know any author to whom I am half so

+					grateful for my idle self as Edward Lear. I shall put

+					him first of my hundred authors</i>.

+				</blockquote>

+				<p class="i10">

+				<span class="smaller"><b>&#8212;JOHN RUSKIN</b>,<br />

+				<i>In the "List of the Best Hundred Authors."</i></span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="smaller" align="center">

+				<img src="images/002.gif" alt="Qui Legit Regit." /><br />

+				</p>

+

+			</td>

+			<td align="center" valign="top">

+				<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="300">

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<img src="images/001.jpg" alt="Edward Lear. Engraved by Andrew From a Photograph Taken In San Remo, by Roncarolo." />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="smaller"><b>EDWARD LEAR</b><br />

+							Engraved by Andrew From a Photograph Taken In San Remo, by Roncarolo.</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+				</table>

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">

+		<tr>

+			<td class="learstrip">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+</div>

+<div class="book" id="pleasant">

+	<hr />

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page006" id="page006" title="006"></a>

+	<p>The following lines by Mr. Lear were written for a

+	young lady of his acquaintance, who had quoted to

+	him the words of a young lady not of his acquaintance,</p>

+	<h1>"HOW PLEASANT TO KNOW MR. LEAR!"</h1>

+	<br />

+	<br />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0">

+		<tr>

+			<td>

+				<p>

+				"How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"<br />

+				<span class="i2">Who has written such volumes of stuff!</span>

+				Some think him ill-tempered and queer,<br />

+				<span class="i2">But a few think him pleasant enough.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				His mind is concrete and fastidious,<br />

+				<span class="i2">His nose is remarkably big;</span>

+				His visage is more or less hideous,<br />

+				<span class="i2">His beard it resembles a wig.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				He has ears, and two eyes, and ten fingers,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Leastways if you reckon two thumbs;</span>

+				Long ago he was one of the singers,<br />

+				<span class="i2">But now he is one of the dumbs.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				He sits in a beautiful parlor,<br />

+				<span class="i2">With hundreds of books on the wall;</span>

+				He drinks a great deal of Marsala,<br />

+				<span class="i2">But never gets tipsy at all.</span>

+				</p>

+			</td>

+			<td valign="top" align="left">

+			<img src="images/pleasant.gif" alt="How Pleasant to Know Mr. Lear!" />

+			</td>

+			<td>

+				<p>

+				He has many friends, lay men and clerical,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Old Foss is the name of his cat;</span>

+				His body is perfectly spherical,<br />

+				<span class="i2">He weareth a runcible hat.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				When he walks in waterproof white,<br />

+				<span class="i2">The children run after him so!</span>

+				Calling out, "He's come out in his night-<br />

+				<span class="i2">Gown, that crazy old Englishman, oh!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				He weeps by the side of the ocean,<br />

+				<span class="i2">He weeps on the top of the hill;</span>

+				He purchases pancakes and lotion,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And chocolate shrimps from the mill.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				He reads, but he cannot speak, Spanish,<br />

+				<span class="i2">He cannot abide ginger beer:</span>

+				Ere the days of his pilgrimage vanish,<br />

+				<span class="i2">How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!</span>

+				</p>

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<br />

+	<br />

+	<br />

+</div>

+<a class="pagenumber" name="page007" id="page007" title="007"></a>

+<div class="book" id="introduction">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">

+		<tr>

+			<td class="learstrip">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<h1>INTRODUCTION.</h1>

+	<hr />
+
+	<p>

+	Edward Lear, the artist, Author of "Journals

+	of a Landscape Painter" in various out-of-the-way

+	countries, and of the delightful "Books of Nonsense,"

+	which have amused successive generations of children,

+	died on Sunday, January 29, 1888, at San Remo, Italy,

+	where he had lived for twenty years. Few names

+	could evoke a wider expression of passing regret at

+	their appearance in the obituary column; for until his

+	health began to fail he was known to an immense and

+	almost a cosmopolitan circle of acquaintance, and popular

+	wherever he was known. Fewer still could call

+	up in the minds of intimate friends a deeper and more

+	enduring feeling of sorrow for personal loss, mingled

+	with the pleasantest of memories; for it was impossible

+	to know him thoroughly and not to love him. London,

+	Rome, the Mediterranean countries generally, Ceylon

+	and India, are still all dotted with survivors among

+	his generation who will mourn for him affectionately,

+	although his latter years were spent in comparatively

+	close retirement. He was a man of striking

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page008" id="page008" title="008"></a>

+	nobility of nature, fearless, independent, energetic,

+	given to forming for himself strong opinions, often hastily,

+	sometimes bitterly; not always strong or sound in

+	judgment, but always seeking after truth in every matter,

+	and following it as he understood it in scorn of

+	consequence; utterly unselfish, devoted to his friends,

+	generous even to extravagance towards any one who

+	had ever been connected with his fortunes or his

+	travels; playful, light-hearted, witty, and humorous,

+	but not without those occasional fits of black depression

+	and nervous irritability to which such temperaments

+	are liable.

+	</p>

+	<p>

+	Great and varied as the merits of his pictures are,

+	Lear hardly succeeded in achieving any great popularity

+	as a landscape-painter. His work was frequently

+	done on private commission, and he rarely sent in pictures

+	for the Academy or other exhibitions. His larger

+	and more highly finished landscapes were unequal in

+	technical perfection,&#8212;sometimes harsh or cold in

+	color, or stiff in composition; sometimes full of imagination,

+	at others literal and prosaic,&#8212;but always

+	impressive reproductions of interesting or peculiar scenery.

+	In later years he used in conversation to qualify

+	himself as a "topographical artist;" and the definition

+	was true, though not exhaustive. He had an intuitive

+	and a perfectly trained eye for the character and

+	beauty of distant mountain lines, the solemnity of rocky

+	gorges, the majesty of a single mountain rising from

+	a base of plain or sea; and he was equally exact in

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page009" id="page009" title="009"></a>

+	rendering the true forms of the middle distances and

+	the specialties of foreground detail belonging to the

+	various lands through which he had wandered as a

+	sketcher. Some of his pictures show a mastery which

+	has rarely been equalled over the difficulties of painting

+	an immense plain as seen from a height, reaching

+	straight away from the eye of the spectator until it is

+	lost in a dim horizon. Sir Roderick Murchison used

+	to say that he always understood the geological peculiarities

+	of a country he had only studied in Lear's

+	sketches. The compliment was thoroughly justified;

+	and it is not every landscape-painter to whom it could

+	honestly be paid.

+	</p>

+	<p>

+	The history of Lear's choice of a career was a curious

+	one. He was the youngest of twenty-one children,

+	and, through a family mischance, was thrown entirely

+	on the limited resources of an elderly sister at a very

+	early age. As a boy he had always dabbled in colors

+	for his own amusement, and had been given to poring

+	over the ordinary boys' books upon natural history.

+	It occurred to him to try to turn his infant talents to

+	account; and he painted upon cardboard a couple of

+	birds in the style which the older among us remember

+	as having been called Oriental tinting, took them to a

+	small shop, and sold them for fourpence. The kindness

+	of friends, to whom he was ever grateful, gave

+	him the opportunity of more serious and more remunerative

+	study, and he became a patient and accurate

+	zo&ouml;logical draughtsman. Many of the birds in the

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page010" id="page010" title="010"></a>

+	earlier volumes of Gould's magnificent folios were

+	drawn for him by Lear. A few years back there were

+	eagles alive in the Zo&ouml;logical Gardens in Regent's

+	Park to which Lear could point as old familiar friends

+	that he had drawn laboriously from claw to beak fifty

+	years before. He united with this kind of work the

+	more unpleasant occupation of drawing the curiosities

+	of disease or deformity in hospitals. One day, as he

+	was busily intent on the portrait of a bird in the Zo&ouml;logical

+	Gardens, an old gentleman came and looked

+	over his shoulder, entered into conversation, and finally

+	said to him, "You must come and draw my birds at

+	Knowsley." Lear did not know where Knowsley was,

+	or what it meant; but the old gentleman was the

+	thirteenth Earl of Derby. The successive Earls of

+	Derby have been among Lear's kindest and most generous

+	patrons. He went to Knowsley, and the drawings

+	in the "Knowsley Menagerie" (now a rare and highly-prized

+	work among book collectors) are by Lear's

+	hand. At Knowsley he became a permanent favorite;

+	and it was there that he composed in prolific succession

+	his charming and wonderful series of utterly nonsensical

+	rhymes and drawings. Lear had already begun seriously

+	to study landscape. When English winters began

+	to threaten his health, Lord Derby started a

+	subscription which enabled him to go to Rome as a

+	student and artist, and no doubt gave him recommendations

+	among Anglo-Roman society which laid the

+	foundations of a numerous <i>client&egrave;le</i>. It was in the

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page011" id="page011" title="011"></a>

+	Roman summers that Lear first began to exercise

+	the taste for pictorial wandering which grew into a

+	habit and a passion, to fill vivid and copious note-books

+	as he went, and to illustrate them by spirited and accurate

+	drawings; and his first volume of "Illustrated

+	Excursions in Italy," published in 1846, is gratefully

+	dedicated to his Knowsley patron.

+	</p>

+	<p>

+	Only those who have travelled with him could know

+	what a delightful comrade he was to men whose tastes

+	ran more or less parallel to his own. It was not everybody

+	who could travel with him; for he was so irrepressibly

+	anxious not to lose a moment of the time at

+	his disposal for gathering into his garners the beauty

+	and interest of the lands over which he journeyed, that

+	he was careless of comfort and health. Calabria, Sicily,

+	the Desert of Sinai, Egypt and Nubia, Greece and

+	Albania, Palestine, Syria, Athos, Candia, Montenegro,

+	Zag&oacute;ri (who knows now where Zag&oacute;ri is, or was?),

+	were as thoroughly explored and sketched by him as

+	the more civilized localities of Malta, Corsica, and

+	Corfu. He read insatiably before starting all the recognized

+	guide-books and histories of the country he

+	intended to draw; and his published itineraries are

+	marked by great strength and literary interest quite

+	irrespectively of the illustrations. And he had

+	his reward. It is not any ordinary journalist and

+	sketcher who could have compelled from Tennyson

+	such a tribute as lines "To E.L. on his Travels in

+	Greece":&#8212;

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page012" id="page012" title="012"></a>						</p>

+	<blockquote>

+			<p>

+			"Illyrian woodlands, echoing falls<br />

+			<span class="i2">Of water, sheets of summer glass,</span>

+			<span class="i2">The long divine Pene&iuml;an pass,</span>

+			The vast Akrokeraunian walls,

+			</p>

+			<p>

+			"Tomohrit, Athos, all things fair,<br />

+			<span class="i2">With such a pencil, such a pen,</span>

+			<span class="i2">You shadow forth to distant men,</span>

+			I read and felt that I was there."

+			</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	Lear was a man to whom, as to Tennyson's Ulysses,

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+			<p>

+			"All experience is an arch wherethrough<br />

+			Gleams that untravelled world."

+			</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	After settling at San Remo, and when he was nearly

+	sixty years old, he determined to visit India and Ceylon.

+	He started once and failed, being taken so ill at Suez

+	that he was obliged to return. The next year he succeeded,

+	and brought away some thousands of drawings

+	of the most striking views from all three Presidencies

+	and from the tropical island. His appetite for travel

+	continued to grow with what it fed upon; and although

+	he hated a long sea-voyage, he used seriously

+	to contemplate as possible a visit to relations in New

+	Zealand. It may safely, however, be averred that no

+	considerations would have tempted him to visit the

+	Arctic regions.

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+	A hard-working life, checkered by the odd adventures

+	which happen to the odd and the adventurous

+	and pass over the commonplace; a career brightened

+	by the high appreciation of unimpeachable critics;

+	lightened, till of late, by the pleasant society and good

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page013" id="page013" title="013"></a>

+	wishes of innumerable friends; saddened by the growing

+	pressure of ill health and solitude; cheered by his

+	constant trust in the love and sympathy of those who

+	knew him best, however far away,&#8212;such was the life

+	of Edward Lear.<br />

+	<span class="i20">&#8212;<i>The London Saturday Review,</i><br />

+	Feb. 4, 1888.

+	</span>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	Among the writers who have striven with varying

+	success during the last thirty or forty years to awaken

+	the merriment of the "rising generation" of the time

+	being, Mr. Edward Lear occupies the first place in

+	seniority, if not in merit. The parent of modern nonsense-writers,

+	he is distinguished from all his followers

+	and imitators by the superior consistency with which

+	he has adhered to his aim,&#8212;that of amusing his readers

+	by fantastic absurdities, as void of vulgarity or

+	cynicism as they are incapable of being made to harbor

+	any symbolical meaning. He "never deviates into

+	sense;" but those who appreciate him never feel the

+	need of such deviation. He has a genius for coining

+	absurd names and words, which, even when they are

+	suggested by the exigencies of his metre, have a ludicrous

+	appropriateness to the matter in hand. His

+	verse is, with the exception of a certain number

+	of cockney rhymes, wonderfully flowing and even

+	melodious&#8212;or, as he would say, <i>meloobious</i>&#8212; while

+	to all these qualifications for his task must finally

+	be added the happy gift of pictorial expression, enabling

+	him to double, nay, often to quadruple, the

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page014" id="page014" title="014"></a>

+	laughable effect of his text by an inexhaustible profusion

+	of the quaintest designs. Generally speaking,

+	these designs are, as it were, an idealization of the

+	efforts of a clever child; but now and then&#8212;as in the

+	case of the nonsense-botany&#8212;Mr. Lear reminds us

+	what a genuine and graceful artist he really is. The

+	advantage to a humorist of being able to illustrate his

+	own text has been shown in the case of Thackeray and

+	Mr. W. S. Gilbert, to mention two familiar examples;

+	but in no other instance of such a combination have we

+	discovered such geniality as is to be found in the nonsense-pictures

+	of Mr. Lear. We have spoken above of

+	the melodiousness of Mr. Lear's verses, a quality which

+	renders them excellently suitable for musical setting,

+	and which has not escaped the notice of the author

+	himself. We have also heard effective arrangements,

+	presumably by other composers, of the adventures of

+	the Table and the Chair, and of the cruise of the Owl

+	and the Pussy-cat,&#8212;the latter introduced into the

+	"drawing-room entertainment" of one of the followers

+	of John Parry. Indeed, in these days of adaptations,

+	it is to be wondered at that no enterprising librettist

+	has attempted to build a children's comic opera out of

+	the materials supplied in the four books with which

+	we are now concerned. The first of these, originally

+	published in 1846, and brought out in an enlarged form

+	in 1863, is exclusively devoted to nonsense-verses of one

+	type. Mr. Lear is careful to disclaim the credit of

+	having created this type, for he tells us in the preface

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page015" id="page015" title="015"></a>

+	to his third book that "the lines beginning, 'There was

+	an old man of Tobago,' were suggested to me by a

+	valued friend, as a form of verse leading itself to limitless

+	variety for Rhymes and Pictures." Dismissing the

+	further question of the authorship of "There was an

+	old man of Tobago," we propose to give a few specimens

+	of Mr. Lear's Protean powers as exhibited in the

+	variation of this simple type. Here, to begin with, is

+	a favorite verse, which we are very glad to have an

+	opportunity of giving, as it is often incorrectly quoted,

+	"cocks" being substituted for "owls" in the third line:

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+			<p>

+			There was an Old Man with a beard,<br />

+			Who said, 'It is just as I feared!<br />

+			Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,<br />

+			Have all built their nests in my beard!'"

+			</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	With the kindly fatalism which is the distinctive note

+	of the foregoing stanza, the sentiment of our next extract

+	is in vivid contrast:&#8212;

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"There was an Old Man in a tree,<br />

+		Who was terribly bored by a bee;<br />

+		When they said, 'Does it buzz?' he replied, 'Yes, it does!<br />

+		It's a regular brute of a Bee.'"

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	To the foregoing verse an historic interest attaches,

+	if, that is, we are right in supposing it to have inspired

+	Mr. Gilbert with his famous "Nonsense-Rhyme in

+	Blank Verse." We quote from memory:&#8212;

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"There was an Old Man of St. Bees,<br />

+		Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.<br />

+		When they asked, 'Does it hurt?' he replied, 'No, it doesn't,<br />

+		But I thought all the while 'twas a Hornet!'"

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page016" id="page016" title="016"></a>

+	Passing over the lines referring to the "Young Person"

+	of Crete to whom the epithet "ombliferous" is applied,

+	we may be pardoned&#8212;on the ground of the geographical

+	proximity of the two countries named&#8212;for quoting

+	together two stanzas which in reality are separated

+	by a good many pages:&#8212;

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"There was a Young Lady of Norway,<br />

+		Who casually sat in a doorway;<br />

+		When the doors queezed her flat, she exclaimed, 'What of that?'<br />

+		This courageous young person of Norway."

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"There was a Young Lady of Sweden,<br />

+		Who went by the slow train to Weedon;<br />

+		When they cried, 'Weedon Station!' she made no observation,<br />

+		But thought she should go back to Sweden."

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	A noticeable feature about this first book, and one

+	which we think is peculiar to it, is the harsh treatment

+	which the eccentricities of the inhabitants of certain

+	towns appear to have met with at the hands of

+	their fellow-residents. No less than three people are

+	"smashed,"&#8212;the Old Man of Whitehaven "who

+	danced a quadrille with a Raven;" the Old Person of

+	Buda; and the Old Man with a gong "who bumped at

+	it all the day long," though in the last-named case we

+	admit that there was considerable provocation. Before

+	quitting the first "Nonsense-Book," we would point

+	out that it contains one or two forms that are interesting;

+	for instance, "scroobious," which we take

+	to be a Portmanteau word, and "spickle-speckled,"

+	a favorite form of reduplication with Mr. Lear, and

+	of which the best specimen occurs in his last book,

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page017" id="page017" title="017"></a>

+	"He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled the bell." The second

+	book, published in 1871, shows Mr. Lear in the

+	maturity of sweet desipience, and will perhaps remain

+	the favorite volume of the four to grown-up readers.

+	The nonsense-songs are all good, and "The Story of

+	the Four little Children who went Round the World"

+	is the most exquisite piece of imaginative absurdity

+	that the present writer is acquainted with. But before

+	coming to that, let us quote a few lines from "The

+	Jumblies," who, as all the world knows, went to sea in

+	a sieve:&#8212;

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		<span class="i2">"They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,</span>

+		<span class="i2">To a land all covered with trees.</span>

+		And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart,<br />

+		And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart,<br />

+		<span class="i2">And a hive of silvery Bees.</span>

+		And they bought a Pig, and some green Jack-Daws,<br />

+		And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws,<br />

+		And forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree,<br />

+		<span class="i2">And no end of Stilton Cheese.</span>

+		<i><span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+		<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live.</span>

+		<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span>

+		<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span></i>

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		And in twenty years they all came back,<br />

+		<span class="i2">In twenty years or more,</span>

+		And every one said, 'How tall they've grown!<br />

+		For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,<br />

+		<span class="i2">And the hills of the Chankly Bore.'"</span>

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	From the pedestrian excursion of the Table and the

+	Chair, we cannot resist making a brief quotation,

+	though in this, as in every case, the inability to quote

+	the drawings also is a sad drawback:&#8212;

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page018" id="page018" title="018"></a>						</p>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"So they both went slowly down,<br />

+		And walked about the town,<br />

+		With a cheerful bumpy sound,<br />

+		As they toddled round and round.<br />

+		And everybody cried,<br />

+		As they hastened to their side,<br />

+		'See, the Table and the Chair<br />

+		Have come out to take the air!'

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"But in going down an alley<br />

+		To a castle in a valley,<br />

+		They completely lost their way,<br />

+		And wandered all the day,<br />

+		Till, to see them safely back,<br />

+		They paid a Ducky-Quack,<br />

+		And a Beetle and a Mouse,<br />

+		Who took them to their house.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"Then they whispered to each other,<br />

+		'O delightful little brother,<br />

+		What a lovely walk we've taken!<br />

+		Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!'<br />

+		So the Ducky and the leetle<br />

+		Browny-Mousy, and the Beetle<br />

+		Dined, and danced upon their heads,<br />

+		Till they toddled to their beds."

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	"The Story of the Four little Children who went

+	Round the World" follows next, and the account of

+	the manner in which they occupied themselves while

+	on shipboard may be transcribed for the benefit of

+	those unfortunate persons who have not perused the

+	original: "During the day-time Violet chiefly occupied

+	herself in putting salt-water into a churn, while

+	her three brothers churned it violently in the hope

+	it would turn into butter, which it seldom if ever

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page019" id="page019" title="019"></a>

+	did." After journeying for a time, they saw some

+	land at a distance, "and when they came to it they

+	found it was an island made of water quite surrounded

+	by earth. Besides that it was bordered by

+	evanescent isthmuses with a great Gulf-Stream running

+	about all over it, so that it was perfectly beautiful,

+	and contained only a single tree, five hundred

+	and three feet high." In a later passage, we read

+	how "by-and-by the children came to a country

+	where there were no houses, but only an incredibly

+	innumerable number of large bottles without corks,

+	and of a dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color.

+	Each of these blue bottles contained a bluebottlefly,

+	and all these interesting animals live continually

+	together in the most copious and rural harmony,

+	nor perhaps in many parts of the world is such

+	perfect and abject happiness to be found." Our last

+	quotation from this inimitable recital shall be from

+	the description of their adventure on a great plain

+	where they espied an object which "on a nearer

+	approach and on an accurately cutaneous inspection,

+	seemed to be somebody in a large white wig sitting on

+	an arm-chair made of sponge-cake and oyster-shells."

+	This turned out to be the "Co-operative Cauliflower,"

+	who, "while the whole party from the boat was gazing

+	at him with mingled affection and disgust ... suddenly

+	arose, and in a somewhat plumdomphious manner

+	hurried off towards the setting sun, his steps supported

+	by two superincumbent confidential cucumbers

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page020" id="page020" title="020"></a>

+	... till he finally disappeared on the brink of the western

+	sky in a crystal cloud of sudorific sand. So remarkable

+	a sight of course impressed the four children very

+	deeply; and they returned immediately to their boat

+	with a strong sense of undeveloped asthma and a great

+	appetite."

+	</p>

+	<p>

+	In his third book, Mr. Lear takes occasion in an

+	entertaining preface to repudiate the charge of harboring

+	any ulterior motive beyond that of "Nonsense

+	pure and absolute" in any of his verses or pictures,

+	and tells a delightful anecdote illustrative of the "persistently

+	absurd report" that the Earl of Derby was the

+	author of the first book of "Nonsense." In this volume

+	he reverts once more to the familiar form adopted in

+	his original efforts, and with little falling off. It is to

+	be remarked that the third division is styled "Twenty-Six

+	Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures," although there is

+	no more rhyme than reason in any of the set. Our

+	favorite illustrations are those of the "Scroobious

+	Snake who always wore a Hat on his Head, for fear he

+	should bite anybody," and the "Visibly Vicious Vulture

+	who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a

+	Volume bound in Vellum." In the fourth and last of

+	Mr. Lear's books, we meet not only with familiar words,

+	but personages and places,&#8212;old friends like the Jumblies,

+	the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, the Quangle Wangle,

+	the hills of the Chankly Bore, and the great Gromboolian

+	plain, as well as new creations, such as the Dong

+	with a luminous Nose, whose story is a sort of nonsense

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page021" id="page021" title="021"></a>

+	 version of the love of Nausicaa for Ulysses, only

+	that the sexes are inverted. In these verses, graceful

+	fancy is so subtly interwoven with nonsense as almost

+	to beguile us into feeling a real interest in Mr. Lear's

+	absurd creations. So again in the Pelican chorus there

+	are some charming lines:&#8212;

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"By day we fish, and at eve we stand<br />

+		On long bare islands of yellow sand.<br />

+		And when the sun sinks slowly down,<br />

+		And the great rock-walls grow dark and brown,<br />

+		When the purple river rolls fast and dim,<br />

+		And the ivory Ibis starlike skim,<br />

+		Wing to wing we dance around," etc.

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	The other nonsense-poems are all good, but we have

+	no space for further quotation, and will take leave of

+	our subject by propounding the following set of examination

+	questions which a friend who is deeply versed

+	in Mr. Lear's books has drawn up for us:&#8212;

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		1. What do you gather from a study of Mr. Lear's works to

+		have been the prevalent characteristics of the inhabitants of

+		Gretna, Prague, Thermopylae, Wick, and Hong Kong?

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		2. State briefly what historical events are connected with

+		Ischia, Chertsey, Whitehaven, Boulak, and Jellibolee.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		3. Comment, with illustrations, upon Mr. Lear's use of the

+		following words: Runcible, propitious, dolomphious, borascible,

+		fizzgiggious, himmeltanious, tumble-dum-down, spongetaneous.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		4. Enumerate accurately all the animals who lived on the

+		Quangle Wangle's Hat, and explain how the Quangle Wangle

+		was enabled at once to enlighten his five travelling companions

+		as to the true nature of the Co-operative Cauliflower.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		5. What were the names of the five daughters of the Old

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page022" id="page022" title="022"></a>

+		Person of China, and what was the purpose for which the

+		Old Man of the Dargle purchased six barrels of Gargle?

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		6. Collect notices of King Xerxes in Mr. Lear's works, and

+		state your theory, if you have any, as to the character and

+		appearance of Nupiter Piffkin.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		7. Draw pictures of the Plum-pudding flea, and the Moppsikon

+		Floppsikon Bear, and state by whom waterproof tubs

+		were first used.

+		</p>

+		<p align="center">

+			8. "There was an old man at a station<br />

+			&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Who made a promiscuous oration."<br />

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		What bearing may we assume the foregoing couplet to have

+		upon Mr. Lear's political views?&#8212;<i>The London Spectator</i>.

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page023" id="page023" title="023"></a>

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+</div>

+<div class="book" id="book1">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="thecover" id="book1cover">

+		<table width="100%">

+			<tr>

+				<td align="center">

+					<h1><span class="bigger">A Book of Nonsense</span></h1>

+					<h2>by Edward Lear.</h2>

+					<p><i>With All the Original Pictures and Verses.</i></p>

+						<img src="images/003.gif" alt="A Book of Nonsense" /><br />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_intro">

+									There was an Old Derry down Derry, who loved to see little folks merry;<br />

+									<span class="i2">So he made them a Book, and with laughter they shook</span>

+									<span class="i4">At the fun of that Derry down Derry.</span>

+									</p>

+									<h4>1894</h4>

+									<p align="center">Originally published 1846</p>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page024" id="page024" title="024"></a>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td>

+						<p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book1.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book1_t.gif" alt="A Book of Nonsense" /></a><br />

+						<b>1894 Cover</b><br />Click for larger version.

+						</p>

+						<ul class="tableofcontents">

+							<li><a href="#dedication">Original Dedication</a></li>

+							<li><a href="#rhymes">Nonsense Pictures and Rhymes</a></li>

+						</ul>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+			</table>

+

+	</div>

+	<div id="dedication" class="subbook">

+		<hr />

+		<img src="images/dedication.gif" class="centeredimage" alt="To the Great-Grandchildren, Grand-Nephews, and Grand-Nieces of Edward, 13th Earl of Derby, this book of drawings snd verses (the greater part of which were originally made and composed for their parents.) is dedicated by the author, EDWARD LEAR. London, 1862." />

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="subbook" id="rhymes">

+		<h2>NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES</h2>

+		<p class="rhymemenu"><a href="#rhyme1_1">1</a> <a href="#rhyme1_2">2</a> <a href="#rhyme1_3">3</a> <a href="#rhyme1_4">4</a> <a href="#rhyme1_5">5</a> <a href="#rhyme1_6">6</a> <a href="#rhyme1_7">7</a> <a href="#rhyme1_8">8</a> <a href="#rhyme1_9">9</a> <a href="#rhyme1_10">10</a> <a href="#rhyme1_11">11</a> <a href="#rhyme1_12">12</a> <a href="#rhyme1_13">13</a> <a href="#rhyme1_14">14</a> <a href="#rhyme1_15">15</a> <a href="#rhyme1_16">16</a> <a href="#rhyme1_17">17</a> <a href="#rhyme1_18">18</a> <a href="#rhyme1_19">19</a> <a href="#rhyme1_20">20</a> <a href="#rhyme1_21">21</a> <a href="#rhyme1_22">22</a> <a href="#rhyme1_23">23</a> <a href="#rhyme1_24">24</a> <a href="#rhyme1_25">25</a> <a href="#rhyme1_26">26</a> <a href="#rhyme1_27">27</a> <a href="#rhyme1_28">28</a> <a href="#rhyme1_29">29</a> <a href="#rhyme1_30">30</a> <a href="#rhyme1_31">31</a> <a href="#rhyme1_32">32</a> <a href="#rhyme1_33">33</a> <a href="#rhyme1_34">34</a> <a href="#rhyme1_35">35</a> <a href="#rhyme1_36">36</a> <a href="#rhyme1_37">37</a> <a href="#rhyme1_38">38</a> <a href="#rhyme1_39">39</a> <a href="#rhyme1_40">40</a> <a href="#rhyme1_41">41</a> <a href="#rhyme1_42">42</a> <a href="#rhyme1_43">43</a> <a href="#rhyme1_44">44</a> <a href="#rhyme1_45">45</a> <a href="#rhyme1_46">46</a> <a href="#rhyme1_47">47</a> <a href="#rhyme1_48">48</a> <a href="#rhyme1_49">49</a> <a href="#rhyme1_50">50</a> <a href="#rhyme1_51">51</a> <a href="#rhyme1_52">52</a> <a href="#rhyme1_53">53</a> <a href="#rhyme1_54">54</a> <a href="#rhyme1_55">55</a> <a href="#rhyme1_56">56</a> <a href="#rhyme1_57">57</a> <a href="#rhyme1_58">58</a> <a href="#rhyme1_59">59</a> <a href="#rhyme1_60">60</a> <a href="#rhyme1_61">61</a> <a href="#rhyme1_62">62</a> <a href="#rhyme1_63">63</a> <a href="#rhyme1_64">64</a> <a href="#rhyme1_65">65</a> <a href="#rhyme1_66">66</a> <a href="#rhyme1_67">67</a> <a href="#rhyme1_68">68</a> <a href="#rhyme1_69">69</a> <a href="#rhyme1_70">70</a> <a href="#rhyme1_71">71</a> <a href="#rhyme1_72">72</a> <a href="#rhyme1_73">73</a> <a href="#rhyme1_74">74</a> <a href="#rhyme1_75">75</a> <a href="#rhyme1_76">76</a> <a href="#rhyme1_77">77</a> <a href="#rhyme1_78">78</a> <a href="#rhyme1_79">79</a> <a href="#rhyme1_80">80</a> <a href="#rhyme1_81">81</a> <a href="#rhyme1_82">82</a> <a href="#rhyme1_83">83</a> <a href="#rhyme1_84">84</a> <a href="#rhyme1_85">85</a> <a href="#rhyme1_86">86</a> <a href="#rhyme1_87">87</a> <a href="#rhyme1_88">88</a> <a href="#rhyme1_89">89</a> <a href="#rhyme1_90">90</a> <a href="#rhyme1_91">91</a> <a href="#rhyme1_92">92</a> <a href="#rhyme1_93">93</a> <a href="#rhyme1_94">94</a> <a href="#rhyme1_95">95</a> <a href="#rhyme1_96">96</a> <a href="#rhyme1_97">97</a> <a href="#rhyme1_98">98</a> <a href="#rhyme1_99">99</a> <a href="#rhyme1_100">100</a> <a href="#rhyme1_101">101</a> <a href="#rhyme1_102">102</a> <a href="#rhyme1_103">103</a> <a href="#rhyme1_104">104</a> <a href="#rhyme1_105">105</a> <a href="#rhyme1_106">106</a> <a href="#rhyme1_107">107</a> <a href="#rhyme1_108">108</a> <a href="#rhyme1_109">109</a> <a href="#rhyme1_110">110</a> <a href="#rhyme1_111">111</a> <a href="#rhyme1_112">112</a>

+		</p>

+		<hr />

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page025" id="page025" title="025"></a>

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="rhymegrid">

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="top" width="50%" align="center">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" width="370">

+						<tr>

+							<td>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_1">

+								<img src="images/004.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a nose,<br />

+								Who said, "If you choose to suppose<br />

+								That my nose is too long, you are certainly wrong!"<br />

+								That remarkable Man with a nose.<br />

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_2">

+								<img src="images/005.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Person of Smyrna,<br />

+								Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;<br />

+								But she seized on the Cat, and said, "Granny, burn that!<br />

+								You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page026" id="page026" title="026"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_3">

+								<img src="images/006.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man on a hill,<br />

+								Who seldom, if ever, stood still;<br />

+								He ran up and down in his Grandmother's gown,<br />

+								Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_4">

+								<img src="images/007.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Chili,<br />

+								Whose conduct was painful and silly;<br />

+								He sate on the stairs, eating apples and pears,<br />

+								That imprudent Old Person of Chili.<br />

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page027" id="page027" title="027"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_5">

+								<img src="images/008.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a gong,<br />

+								Who bumped at it all the day long;<br />

+								But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"<br />

+								So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_6">

+								<img src="images/009.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,<br />

+								Who never had more than a penny;<br />

+								He spent all that money in onions and honey,<br />

+								That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.<br />

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page028" id="page028" title="028"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_7">

+								<img src="images/010.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Columbia,<br />

+								Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;<br />

+								But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot,<br />

+								Which disgusted that man of Columbia.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_8">

+								<img src="images/011.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man in a tree,<br />

+								Who was horribly bored by a Bee;<br />

+								When they said, "Does it buzz?" he replied, "Yes, it does!<br />

+								It's a regular brute of a Bee."

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page029" id="page029" title="029"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_9">

+								<img src="images/012.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,<br />

+								Who made a remarkable curtsey;<br />

+								She twirled round and round, till she sank underground,<br />

+								Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_10">

+								<img src="images/013.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady whose chin<br />

+								Resembled the point of a pin;<br />

+								So she had it made sharp, and purchased a harp,<br />

+								And played several tunes with her chin.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page030" id="page030" title="030"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_11">

+								<img src="images/014.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a flute,&#8212;<br />

+								A "sarpint" ran into his boot!<br />

+								But he played day and night, till the "sarpint" took flight,<br />

+								And avoided that Man with a flute.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_12">

+								<img src="images/015.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Portugal,<br />

+								Whose ideas were excessively nautical;<br />

+								She climbed up a tree to examine the sea,<br />

+								But declared she would never leave Portugal.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page031" id="page031" title="031"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_13">

+								<img src="images/016.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Ischia,<br />

+								Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;<br />

+								He danced hornpipes and jigs, and ate thousands of figs,<br />

+								That lively Old Person of Ischia

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_14">

+								<img src="images/017.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Vienna,<br />

+								Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;<br />

+								When that did not agree, he took Camomile Tea,<br />

+								That nasty Old Man of Vienna.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page032" id="page032" title="032"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_15">

+									<img src="images/018.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man in a boat,<br />

+								Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"<br />

+								When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint,<br />

+								That unhappy Old Man in a boat.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_16">

+								<img src="images/019.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Buda,<br />

+								Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,<br />

+								Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.<br />

+								By smashing that Person of Buda.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page033" id="page033" title="033"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_17">

+								<img src="images/020.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Moldavia,<br />

+								Who had the most curious behavior;<br />

+								For while he was able, he slept on a table,<br />

+								That funny Old Man of Moldavia.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_18">

+								<img src="images/021.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Hurst,<br />

+								Who drank when he was not athirst;<br />

+								When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"<br />

+								That globular Person of Hurst.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page034" id="page034" title="034"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_19">

+								<img src="images/022.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Madras,<br />

+								Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;<br />

+								But the length of its ears so promoted his fears,<br />

+								That it killed that Old Man of Madras.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_20">

+								<img src="images/023.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Dover,<br />

+								Who rushed through a field of blue clover;<br />

+								But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees,<br />

+								So he very soon went back to Dover.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page035" id="page035" title="035"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_21">

+								<img src="images/024.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Leeds,<br />

+								Whose head was infested with beads;<br />

+								She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool,<br />

+								Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_22">

+								<img src="images/025.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Cadiz,<br />

+								Who was always polite to all ladies;<br />

+								But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water,<br />

+								Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page036" id="page036" title="036"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_23">

+								<img src="images/026.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Isles,<br />

+								Whose face was pervaded with smiles;<br />

+								He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle,<br />

+								That amiable Man of the Isles.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_24">

+								<img src="images/027.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Basing,<br />

+								Whose presence of mind was amazing;<br />

+								He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed,<br />

+								And escaped from the people of Basing.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page037" id="page037" title="037"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_25">

+								<img src="images/028.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man who supposed<br />

+								That the street door was partially closed;<br />

+								But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats,<br />

+								While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_26">

+								<img src="images/029.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person whose habits<br />

+								Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;<br />

+								When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green,<br />

+								Upon which he relinquished those habits.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page038" id="page038" title="038"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_27">

+								<img src="images/030.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the West,<br />

+								Who wore a pale plum-colored vest;<br />

+								When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!"<br />

+								That uneasy Old Man of the West.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_28">

+								<img src="images/031.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Marseilles,<br />

+								Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils:<br />

+								They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish,<br />

+								And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page039" id="page039" title="039"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_29">

+								<img src="images/032.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,<br />

+								Whose shoes made a horrible creaking;<br />

+								But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather,<br />

+								Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_30">

+								<img src="images/033.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady whose nose<br />

+								Was so long that it reached to her toes;<br />

+								So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady,<br />

+								To carry that wonderful nose.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page040" id="page040" title="040"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_31">

+								<img src="images/034.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Norway,<br />

+								Who casually sat in a doorway;<br />

+								When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?"<br />

+								This courageous Young Lady of Norway.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_32">

+								<img src="images/035.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Apulia,<br />

+								Whose conduct was very peculiar;<br />

+								He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns,<br />

+								That whimsical Man of Apulia.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page041" id="page041" title="041"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_33">

+								<img src="images/036.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Quebec,&#8212;<br />

+								A beetle ran over his neck;<br />

+								But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!"<br />

+								That angry Old Man of Quebec.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_34">

+								<img src="images/037.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Bute,<br />

+								Who played on a silver-gilt flute;<br />

+								She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs:<br />

+								That amusing Young Lady of Bute.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page042" id="page042" title="042"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_35">

+								<img src="images/038.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Phil&#339;,<br />

+								Whose conduct was scroobious and wily;<br />

+								He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm,<br />

+								And observed all the ruins of Phil&#339;.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_36">

+								<img src="images/039.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a poker,<br />

+								Who painted his face with red ochre.<br />

+								When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply,<br />

+								But knocked them all down with his poker.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page043" id="page043" title="043"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_37">

+									<img src="images/040.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Prague,<br />

+								Who was suddenly seized with the plague;<br />

+								But they gave him some butter, which caused him to mutter,<br />

+								And cured that Old Person of Prague.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_38">

+								<img src="images/041.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Peru,<br />

+								Who watched his wife making a stew;<br />

+								But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake<br />

+								That unfortunate Man of Peru.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page044" id="page044" title="044"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_39">

+								<img src="images/042.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the North,<br />

+								Who fell into a basin of broth;<br />

+								But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook,<br />

+								Which saved that Old Man of the North.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_40">

+								<img src="images/043.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Troy,<br />

+								Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,<br />

+								Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon,<br />

+								In sight of the city of Troy.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page045" id="page045" title="045"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_41">

+								<img src="images/044.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Mold,<br />

+								Who shrank from sensations of cold;<br />

+								So he purchased some muffs, some furs, and some fluffs,<br />

+								And wrapped himself well from the cold.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_42">

+								<img src="images/045.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Tring,<br />

+								Who embellished his nose with a ring;<br />

+								He gazed at the moon every evening in June,<br />

+								That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page046" id="page046" title="046"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_43">

+								<img src="images/046.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Nepaul,<br />

+								From his horse had a terrible fall;<br />

+								But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue<br />

+								They mended that man of Nepaul.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_44">

+								<img src="images/047.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Nile,<br />

+								Who sharpened his nails with a file,<br />

+								Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly, "This comes<br />

+								Of sharpening one's nails with a file!"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page047" id="page047" title="047"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_45">

+								<img src="images/048.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,<br />

+								So blind that he couldn't his foot see;<br />

+								When they said, "That's your toe," he replied, "Is it so?"<br />

+								That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_46">

+								<img src="images/049.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Calcutta,<br />

+								Who perpetually ate bread and butter;<br />

+								Till a great bit of muffin, on which he was stuffing,<br />

+								Choked that horrid Old Man of Calcutta.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page048" id="page048" title="048"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_47">

+								<img src="images/050.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Rhodes,<br />

+								Who strongly objected to toads;<br />

+								He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens,<br />

+								That futile Old Person of Rhodes.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_48">

+								<img src="images/051.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the South,<br />

+								Who had an immoderate mouth;<br />

+								But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish,<br />

+								He was choked, that Old Man of the South.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page049" id="page049" title="049"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_49">

+								<img src="images/052.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Melrose,<br />

+								Who walked on the tips of his toes;<br />

+								But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present,<br />

+								You stupid Old Man of Melrose."

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_50">

+								<img src="images/053.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Dee,<br />

+								Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;<br />

+								When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet,<br />

+								Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page050" id="page050" title="050"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_51">

+								<img src="images/054.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Lucca,<br />

+								Whose lovers completely forsook her;<br />

+								She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"<br />

+								Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_52">

+								<img src="images/055.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Coblenz,<br />

+								The length of whose legs was immense;<br />

+								He went with one prance from Turkey to France,<br />

+								That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page051" id="page051" title="051"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_53">

+								<img src="images/056.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Bohemia,<br />

+								Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;<br />

+								But one day, to his grief, she married a thief,<br />

+								Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_54">

+								<img src="images/057.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Corfu,<br />

+								Who never knew what he should do;<br />

+								So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown,<br />

+								That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page052" id="page052" title="052"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_55">

+								<img src="images/058.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,<br />

+								Who studied the works of Vitruvius;<br />

+								When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took,<br />

+								That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_56">

+								<img src="images/059.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Dundee,<br />

+								Who frequented the top of a tree;<br />

+								When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose,<br />

+								And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee!"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page053" id="page053" title="053"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_57">

+								<img src="images/060.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Lady whose folly<br />

+								Induced her to sit in a holly;<br />

+								Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn,<br />

+								She quickly became melancholy.

+								</p>

+							</td>

+						</tr>

+					</table>

+				</td>

+				<td valign="top" width="50%" align="center">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" width="370">

+						<tr>

+							<td>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_58">

+								<img src="images/061.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man on some rocks,<br />

+								Who shut his Wife up in a box:<br />

+								When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt<br />

+								You will pass all your life in that box."

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page054" id="page054" title="054"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_59">

+								<img src="images/062.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Rheims,<br />

+								Who was troubled with horrible dreams;<br />

+								So to keep him awake they fed him with cake,<br />

+								Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_60">

+								<img src="images/063.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Leghorn,<br />

+								The smallest that ever was born;<br />

+								But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy,<br />

+								Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page055" id="page055" title="055"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_61">

+								<img src="images/064.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man in a pew,<br />

+								Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;<br />

+								But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces,<br />

+								That cheerful Old Man in a pew.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_62">

+								<img src="images/065.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Jamaica,<br />

+								Who suddenly married a Quaker;<br />

+								But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"<br />

+								Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page056" id="page056" title="056"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_63">

+								<img src="images/066.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man who said, "How<br />

+								Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?<br />

+								I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile,<br />

+								Which may soften the heart of that Cow."

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_64">

+								<img src="images/067.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Troy,<br />

+								Whom several large flies did annoy;<br />

+								Some she killed with a thump, some she drowned at the pump,<br />

+								And some she took with her to Troy.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page057" id="page057" title="057"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_65">

+								<img src="images/068.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Hull,<br />

+								Who was chased by a virulent Bull;<br />

+								But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?"<br />

+								Which distracted that virulent Bull.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_66">

+								<img src="images/069.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Dutton,<br />

+								Whose head was as small as a button;<br />

+								So to make it look big he purchased a wig,<br />

+								And rapidly rushed about Dutton.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page058" id="page058" title="058"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_67">

+								<img src="images/070.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!<br />

+								I perceive a young bird in this bush!"<br />

+								When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all;<br />

+								It is four times as big as the bush!"

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_68">

+								<img src="images/071.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Russia,<br />

+								Who screamed so that no one could hush her;<br />

+								Her screams were extreme,&#8212;no one heard such a scream<br />

+								As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page059" id="page059" title="059"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_69">

+								<img src="images/072.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Tyre,<br />

+								Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;<br />

+								At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep,<br />

+								And enchanted the city of Tyre.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_70">

+								<img src="images/073.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Bangor,<br />

+								Whose face was distorted with anger;<br />

+								He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,<br />

+								That borascible Person of Bangor.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page060" id="page060" title="060"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_71">

+								<img src="images/074.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the East,<br />

+								Who gave all his children a feast;<br />

+								But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,<br />

+								That it killed that Old Man of the East.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_72">

+								<img src="images/075.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Coast,<br />

+								Who placidly sat on a post;<br />

+								But when it was cold he relinquished his hold,<br />

+								And called for some hot buttered toast.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page061" id="page061" title="061"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_73">

+								<img src="images/076.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,<br />

+								Who possessed a remarkably fat Cur;<br />

+								His gait and his waddle were held as a model<br />

+								To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_74">

+								<img src="images/077.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Gretna,<br />

+								Who rushed down the crater of Etna;<br />

+								When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!"<br />

+								That mendacious Old Person of Gretna.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page062" id="page062" title="062"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_75">

+								<img src="images/078.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a beard,<br />

+								Who sat on a Horse when he reared;<br />

+								But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,<br />

+								You propitious Old Man with a beard!"

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_76">

+								<img src="images/079.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Berlin,<br />

+								Whose form was uncommonly thin;<br />

+								Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,<br />

+								So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page063" id="page063" title="063"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_77">

+								<img src="images/080.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the West,<br />

+								Who never could get any rest;<br />

+								So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,<br />

+								Which cured that Old Man of the West.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_78">

+								<img src="images/081.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Cheadle<br />

+								Was put in the stocks by the Beadle<br />

+								For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,<br />

+								That horrible person of Cheadle.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page064" id="page064" title="064"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_79">

+								<img src="images/082.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Anerley,<br />

+								Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;<br />

+								He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,<br />

+								But returned in the evening to Anerley.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_80">

+								<img src="images/083.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Wales,<br />

+								Who caught a large Fish without scales;<br />

+								When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!"<br />

+								That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page065" id="page065" title="065"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_81">

+								<img src="images/084.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Welling,<br />

+								Whose praise all the world was a-telling;<br />

+								She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,<br />

+								That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_82">

+								<img src="images/085.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Tartary,<br />

+								Who divided his jugular artery;<br />

+								But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life!<br />

+								Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page066" id="page066" title="066"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_83">

+								<img src="images/086.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,<br />

+								Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;<br />

+								But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"<br />

+								So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_84">

+								<img src="images/087.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Sweden,<br />

+								Who went by the slow train to Weedon;<br />

+								When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation,<br />

+								But thought she should go back to Sweden.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page067" id="page067" title="067"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_85">

+								<img src="images/088.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Chester,<br />

+								Whom several small children did pester;<br />

+								They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,<br />

+								And displeased that Old Person of Chester.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_86">

+									<img src="images/089.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Cape,<br />

+								Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;<br />

+								Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,<br />

+								Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page068" id="page068" title="068"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_87">

+								<img src="images/090.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Burton,<br />

+								Whose answers were rather uncertain;<br />

+								When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?"<br />

+								That distressing Old Person of Burton.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_88">

+								<img src="images/091.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Ems<br />

+								Who casually fell in the Thames;<br />

+								And when he was found, they said he was drowned,<br />

+								That unlucky Old Person of Ems.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page069" id="page069" title="069"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_89">

+								<img src="images/092.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Girl of Majorca,<br />

+								Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;<br />

+								She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,<br />

+								Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_90">

+								<img src="images/093.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Poole,<br />

+								Whose soup was excessively cool;<br />

+								So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,<br />

+								That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page070" id="page070" title="070"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_91">

+								<img src="images/094.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Lady of Prague,<br />

+								Whose language was horribly vague;<br />

+								When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!"<br />

+								That oracular Lady of Prague.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_92">

+								<img src="images/095.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Parma,<br />

+								Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:<br />

+								When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!"<br />

+								That provoking Young Lady of Parma.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page071" id="page071" title="071"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_93">

+								<img src="images/096.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Sparta,<br />

+								Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"<br />

+								He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,<br />

+								That wonderful Person of Sparta.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_94">

+								<img src="images/097.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man on whose nose<br />

+								Most birds of the air could repose;<br />

+								But they all flew away at the closing of day,<br />

+								Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page072" id="page072" title="072"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_95">

+								<img src="images/098.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Turkey,<br />

+								Who wept when the weather was murky;<br />

+								When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,<br />

+								That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_96">

+								<img src="images/099.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of A&ocirc;sta<br />

+								Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;<br />

+								But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,<br />

+								You invidious Old Man of A&ocirc;sta?"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page073" id="page073" title="073"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_97">

+								<img src="images/100.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Person of Crete,<br />

+								Whose toilette was far from complete;<br />

+								She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,<br />

+								That ombliferous Person of Crete.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_98">

+								<img src="images/101.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Clare,<br />

+								Who was madly pursued by a Bear;<br />

+								When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,<br />

+								That unfortunate Lady of Clare.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page074" id="page074" title="074"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_99">

+								<img src="images/102.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Dorking,<br />

+								Who bought a large bonnet for walking;<br />

+								But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,<br />

+								That she very soon went back to Dorking.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page075" id="page075" title="075"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_100">

+								<img src="images/103.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,<br />

+								Who wished he had never been born;<br />

+								So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,<br />

+								That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page076" id="page076" title="076"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_101">

+								<img src="images/104.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old Person of Cromer,<br />

+								Who stood on one leg to read Homer;<br />

+								When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,<br />

+								Which concluded that Person of Cromer.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page077" id="page077" title="077"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_102">

+								<img src="images/105.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Hague,<br />

+								Whose ideas were excessively vague;<br />

+								He built a balloon to examine the moon,<br />

+								That deluded Old Man of the Hague.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page078" id="page078" title="078"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_103">

+								<img src="images/106.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Spain,<br />

+								Who hated all trouble and pain;<br />

+								So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,<br />

+								That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page079" id="page079" title="079"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_104">

+								<img src="images/107.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man who said, "Well!<br />

+								Will <i>nobody</i> answer this bell?<br />

+								I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white,<br />

+								But nobody answers this bell!"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page080" id="page080" title="080"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_105">

+								<img src="images/108.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with an Owl,<br />

+								Who continued to bother and howl;<br />

+								He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,<br />

+								Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page081" id="page081" title="081"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_106">

+								<img src="images/109.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man in a casement,<br />

+								Who held up his hands in amazement;<br />

+								When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" he replied, "Not at all!"<br />

+								That incipient Old Man in a casement.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page082" id="page082" title="082"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_107">

+								<img src="images/110.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Ewell,<br />

+								Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;<br />

+								But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,<br />

+								Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page083" id="page083" title="083"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_108">

+								<img src="images/111.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Peru.<br />

+								Who never knew what he should do;<br />

+								So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,<br />

+								That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page084" id="page084" title="084"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_109">

+								<img src="images/112.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a beard,<br />

+								Who said, "It is just as I feared!&#8212;<br />

+								Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,<br />

+								Have all built their nests in my beard."

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_110">

+								<img src="images/113.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady whose eyes<br />

+								Were unique as to color and size;<br />

+								When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,<br />

+								And started away in surprise.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page085" id="page085" title="085"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_111">

+								<img src="images/114.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Ryde,<br />

+								Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;<br />

+								She purchased some clogs, and some small spotty Dogs,<br />

+								And frequently walked about Ryde.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_112">

+								<img src="images/115.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady whose bonnet<br />

+								Came untied when the birds sate upon it;<br />

+								But she said, "I don't care! all the birds in the air<br />

+								Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"

+								</p>

+							</td>

+						</tr>

+					</table>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+</div>

+

+<div class="book" id="book2">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="thecover" id="book2cover">

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page086" id="page086" title="086"></a>

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" class="tablecover" border="0" cellpadding="10" cellspacing="0">

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" valign="top" align="center">

+					<h1><span class="bigger">Nonsense Songs,</span><br />Stories, Botany, and Alphabets.</h1>

+					<h2>By Edward Lear.</h2>

+					<img src="images/116.gif" alt="Nonsense Songs, Stories, Botany and Alphabets" /><br />

+					<p>With One Hundred and Fifty Illustrations.</p>

+					<h4>1894</h4>

+					<p align="center">Originally published 1871</p>

+				</td>

+				<td align="center">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">

+						<tr>

+							<td align="left" valign="middle">

+								<p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book2.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book2_t.gif" alt="Nonsense Songs, Stories, etc" /></a><br />

+								<b>1894 Cover</b><br />Click for larger version.

+								</p>

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page087" id="page087" title="087"></a>

+								<ul class="tableofcontents">

+									<li><a href="#songs"><b>Nonsense Songs</b></a>.

+										<ul>

+										<li><a href="#owlandpussy">The Owl and the Pussy-Cat</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#duckandkangaroo">The Duck and the Kangaroo</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#daddyandfly">The Daddy Long-Legs and the Fly</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#jumblies">The Jumblies</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#nutandsugar">The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-Tongs</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#calico">Calico Pie</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#sparrows">Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#broomshovelpoker">The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker, and the Tongs</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#tableandchair">The Table And The Chair</a></li>

+										</ul>

+									</li>

+									<li><a href="#stories"><b>Nonsense Stories</b></a>.

+										<ul>

+										<li><a href="#children">The Story of the Four Little Children Who Went Round The World</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#pipple">The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple</a></li>

+										</ul>

+									</li>

+									<li><a href="#cookery"><b>Nonsense Cookery</b></a></li>

+									<li><a href="#botany"><b>Nonsense Botany</b></a></li>

+									<li><a href="#alphabets"><b>Nonsense Alphabets</b></a>

+										<ul>

+										<li><a href="#alphabet1">No. 1</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#alphabet2">No. 2</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#alphabet3">No. 3</a></li>

+										</ul>

+									</li>

+								</ul>
+							</td>

+						</tr>

+					</table>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>
+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page088" id="page088" title="088"></a>

+	<div class="subbook" id="songs">

+			<hr />

+			<h2>NONSENSE SONGS.</h2>

+			<p class="subbookmenu">

+			<a href="#owlandpussy">The Owl and the Pussy-Cat</a> <a href="#duckandkangaroo">The Duck and the Kangaroo</a> <a href="#daddyandfly">The Daddy Long-Legs and the Fly</a> <a href="#jumblies">The Jumblies</a> <a href="#nutandsugar">The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-Tongs</a> <a href="#calico">Calico Pie</a> <a href="#sparrows">Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow</a> <a href="#broomshovelpoker">The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker, and the Tongs</a> <a href="#tableandchair">The Table And The Chair</a>

+			</p>

+			<hr />

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page089" id="page089" title="089"></a>

+

+			<div class="longpoem" id="owlandpussy">

+			<img src="images/117.gif" alt="The Owl and The Pussy-cat" />

+			<h3>THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>he Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea<br />

+				<span class="i4">In a beautiful pea-green boat:</span>

+				They took some honey, and plenty of money<br />

+				<span class="i2">Wrapped up in a five-pound note.</span>

+				The Owl looked up to the stars above,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And sang to a small guitar,</span>

+				"O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,<br />

+				<span class="i2">What a beautiful Pussy you are,</span>

+				<span class="i6">You are,</span>

+				<span class="i6">You are!</span>

+				<span class="i2">What a beautiful Pussy you are!"</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page090" id="page090" title="090"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,<br />

+				<span class="i2">How charmingly sweet you sing!</span>

+				Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried:<br />

+				<span class="i2">But what shall we do for a ring?"</span>

+				They sailed away, for a year and a day,<br />

+				<span class="i2">To the land where the bong-tree grows;</span>

+				And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,<br />

+				<span class="i2">With a ring at the end of his nose,</span>

+				<span class="i6">His nose,</span>

+				<span class="i6">His nose,</span>

+				<span class="i2">With a ring at the end of his nose.</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/118.gif" alt="The Owl and the Pussy-cat" />

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling<br />

+				<span class="i2">Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."</span>

+				So they took it away, and were married next day<br />

+				<span class="i2">By the Turkey who lives on the hill.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page091" id="page091" title="091"></a>

+				They dined on mince and slices of quince,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Which they ate with a runcible spoon;</span>

+				And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,<br />

+				<span class="i2">They danced by the light of the moon,</span>

+				<span class="i4">The moon,</span>

+				<span class="i4">The moon,</span>

+				<span class="i2">They danced by the light of the moon.</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/116.gif" alt="The Owl and the Pussy-cat" />

+			</div>

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page092" id="page092" title="092"></a>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="duckandkangaroo">

+				<img src="images/120.gif" alt="The Duck and the Kangaroo" />
+
+				<h3>THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">S</span>aid the Duck to the Kangaroo,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"Good gracious! how you hop</span>

+				Over the fields, and the water too,<br />

+				<span class="i2">As if you never would stop!</span>

+				My life is a bore in this nasty pond;<br />

+				And I long to go out in the world beyond:<br />

+				<span class="i2">I wish I could hop like you,"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Please give me a ride on your back,"<br />

+				<span class="i2">Said the Duck to the Kangaroo:</span>

+				"I would sit quite still, and say nothing but 'Quack'<br />

+				<span class="i2">The whole of the long day through;</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page093" id="page093" title="093"></a>

+				And we 'd go the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee,<br />

+				Over the land, and over the sea:<br />

+				<span class="i2">Please take me a ride! oh, do!"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/121.gif" alt="The Duck and the Kangaroo" />

+				<p class="versenumber">

+				III.<br />

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Said the Kangaroo to the Duck,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"This requires some little reflection.</span>

+				Perhaps, on the whole, it might bring me luck;<br />

+				<span class="i2">And there seems but one objection;</span>

+				Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold,<br />

+				Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And would probably give me the roo-</span>

+				<span class="i2">Matiz," said the Kangaroo.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page094" id="page094" title="094"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				Said the Duck, "As I sate on the rocks,<br />

+				<span class="i2">I have thought over that completely;</span>

+				And I bought four pairs of worsted socks,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Which fit my web-feet neatly;</span>

+				And, to keep out the cold, I've bought a cloak;<br />

+				And every day a cigar I'll smoke;<br />

+				<span class="i2">All to follow my own dear true</span>

+				<span class="i2">Love of a Kangaroo."</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				Said the Kangaroo, "I'm ready,<br />

+				<span class="i2">All in the moonlight pale;</span>

+				But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And quite at the end of my tail."</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/122.gif" alt="The Duck and the Kangaroo" />

+				<p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page095" id="page095" title="095"></a>

+				So away they went with a hop and a bound;<br />

+				And they hopped the whole world three times round.<br />

+				<span class="i2">And who so happy, oh! who,</span>

+				<span class="i2">As the Duck and the Kangaroo?</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/123.gif" alt="The Duck and the Kangaroo" />

+			</div>

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page096" id="page096" title="096"></a>
+			<hr />
+
			<div class="longpoem" id="daddyandfly">

+				<img src="images/124.gif" alt="The Daddy Long-legs and the Fly" />
+				<h3>THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">O</span>nce Mr. Daddy Long-legs,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Dressed in brown and gray,</span>

+				Walked about upon the sands<br />

+				<span class="i2">Upon a summer's day:</span>

+				And there among the pebbles,<br />

+				<span class="i2">When the wind was rather cold,</span>

+				He met with Mr. Floppy Fly,<br />

+				<span class="i2">All dressed in blue and gold;</span>

+				And, as it was too soon to dine,<br />

+				They drank some periwinkle-wine,<br />

+				And played an hour or two, or more,<br />

+				At battlecock and shuttledore.<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page097" id="page097" title="097"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs<br />

+				<span class="i4">To Mr. Floppy Fly,</span>

+				"Why do you never come to court?<br />

+				<span class="i4">I wish you 'd tell me why.</span>

+				All gold and shine, in dress so fine,<br />

+				<span class="i4">You'd quite delight the court.</span>

+				Why do you never go at all?<br />

+				<span class="i4">I really think you <i>ought</i>.</span>

+				And, if you went, you'd see such sights!<br />

+				Such rugs and jugs and candle-lights!<br />

+				And, more than all, the king and queen,&#8212;<br />

+				One in red, and one in green."<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				"O Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"<br />

+				<span class="i4">Said Mr. Floppy Fly,</span>

+				"It's true I never go to court;<br />

+				<span class="i4">And I will tell you why.</span>

+				If I had six long legs like yours,<br />

+				<span class="i4">At once I'd go to court;</span>

+				But, oh! I can't, because <i>my</i> legs<br />

+				<span class="i4">Are so extremely short.</span>

+				And I'm afraid the king and queen<br />

+				(One in red, and one in green)<br />

+				Would say aloud, 'You are not fit,<br />

+				You Fly, to come to court a bit!'"<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Oh, Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"<br />

+				<span class="i4">Said Mr. Floppy Fly,</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page098" id="page098" title="098"></a>

+				"I wish you 'd sing one little song,<br />

+				<span class="i2">One mumbian melody.</span>

+				You used to sing so awful well<br />

+				<span class="i2">In former days gone by;</span>

+				But now you never sing at all:<br />

+				<span class="i2">I wish you'd tell me why:</span>

+				For, if you would, the silvery sound<br />

+				Would please the shrimps and cockles round,<br />

+				And all the crabs would gladly come<br />

+				To hear you sing, 'Ah, Hum di Hum!'"<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"I can never sing again;</span>

+				And, if you wish, I'll tell you why,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Although it gives me pain.</span>

+				For years I cannot hum a bit,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Or sing the smallest song;</span>

+				And this the dreadful reason is,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">My legs are grown too long!</span>

+				My six long legs, all here and there,<br />

+				Oppress my bosom with despair;<br />

+				And, if I stand or lie or sit,<br />

+				I cannot sing one single bit!"<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				So Mr. Daddy Long-legs<br />

+				<span class="i2">And Mr. Floppy Fly</span>

+				Sat down in silence by the sea,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And gazed upon the sky.</span>

+				They said, "This is a dreadful thing!<br />

+				<span class="i2">The world has all gone wrong,</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page099" id="page099" title="099"></a>

+				Since one has legs too short by half,<br />

+				<span class="i2">The other much too long.</span>

+				One never more can go to court,<br />

+				Because his legs have grown too short;<br />

+				The other cannot sing a song,<br />

+				Because his legs have grown too long!"

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VII.</p>

+				<p>

+				Then Mr. Daddy Long-legs<br />

+				<span class="i2">And Mr. Floppy Fly</span>

+				Rushed downward to the foamy sea<br />

+				<span class="i2">With one sponge-taneous cry:</span>

+				And there they found a little boat,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Whose sails were pink and gray;</span>

+				And off they sailed among the waves,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Far and far away:</span>

+				They sailed across the silent main,<br />

+				And reached the great Gromboolian Plain;<br />

+				And there they play forevermore<br />

+				At battlecock and shuttledore.<br />

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/125.gif" alt="The Daddy Long-legs and the Fly" />

+			</div>

+

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page100" id="page100" title="100"></a>

+

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="jumblies">

+				<img src="images/126.gif" alt="The Jumblies" align="right" />

+				<h3>THE JUMBLIES.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>hey went to sea in a sieve, they did;<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a sieve they went to sea:</span>

+				In spite of all their friends could say,<br />

+				On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a sieve they went to sea.</span>

+				And when the sieve turned round and round,<br />

+				And every one cried, "You'll all be drowned!"<br />

+				They called aloud, "Our sieve ain't big;<br />

+				But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig:<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a sieve we'll go to sea!"</span>

+				<span class="i6">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i8">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i6">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue</span>

+				<span class="i8">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page101" id="page101" title="101"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				They sailed away in a sieve, they did,<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a sieve they sailed so fast,</span>

+				With only a beautiful pea-green veil<br />

+				Tied with a ribbon, by way of a sail,<br />

+				<span class="i2">To a small tobacco-pipe mast.</span>

+				And every one said who saw them go,<br />

+				"Oh! won't they be soon upset, you know?<br />

+				For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long;<br />

+				And, happen what may, it's extremely wrong<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a sieve to sail so fast."</span>

+				<span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				The water it soon came in, it did;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The water it soon came in:</span>

+				So, to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet<br />

+				In a pinky paper all folded neat;<br />

+				<span class="i2">And they fastened it down with a pin.</span>

+				And they passed the night in a crockery-jar;<br />

+				And each of them said, "How wise we are!<br />

+				Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,<br />

+				Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,<br />

+				<span class="i2">While round in our sieve we spin."</span>

+				<span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page102" id="page102" title="102"></a>						</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				And all night long they sailed away;<br />

+				<span class="i2">And when the sun went down,</span>

+				They whistled and warbled a moony song<br />

+				To the echoing sound of a coppery gong,<br />

+				<span class="i2">In the shade of the mountains brown.</span>

+				"O Timballoo! How happy we are<br />

+				When we live in a sieve and a crockery-jar!<br />

+				And all night long, in the moonlight pale,<br />

+				We sail away with a pea-green sail<br />

+				<span class="i2">In the shade of the mountains brown."</span>

+				<span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">To a land all covered with trees:</span>

+				And they bought an owl, and a useful cart,<br />

+				And a pound of rice, and a cranberry-tart,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And a hive of silvery bees;</span>

+				And they bought a pig, and some green jackdaws,<br />

+				And a lovely monkey with lollipop paws,<br />

+				And forty bottles of ring-bo-ree,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And no end of Stilton cheese.</span>

+				<span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page103" id="page103" title="103"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				And in twenty years they all came back,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">In twenty years or more;</span>

+				And every one said, "How tall they've grown!<br />

+				For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And the hills of the Chankly Bore."</span>

+				And they drank their health, and gave them a feast<br />

+				Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast;<br />

+				And every one said, "If we only live,<br />

+				We, too, will go to sea in a sieve,<br />

+				<span class="i2">To the hills of the Chankly Bore."</span>

+				<span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+				</p>

+			</div>

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page104" id="page104" title="104"></a>

+		<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="nutandsugar">

+				<img src="images/127.gif" alt="The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-tongs" />

+				<br />

+				<h3>THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS.</h3>
+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>he Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Sugar-tongs sate by a plate at his side;</span>

+				And the Nutcrackers said, "Don't you wish we were able<br />

+				<span class="i2">Along the blue hills and green meadows to ride?</span>

+				Must we drag on this stupid existence forever,<br />

+				<span class="i2">So idle and weary, so full of remorse,</span>

+				While every one else takes his pleasure, and never<br />

+				<span class="i2">Seems happy unless he is riding a horse?</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Don't you think we could ride without being instructed,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Without any saddle or bridle or spur?</span>

+				Our legs are so long, and so aptly constructed,<br />

+				<span class="i2">I'm sure that an accident could not occur.</span>

+				Let us all of a sudden hop down from the table,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And hustle downstairs, and each jump on a horse!</span>

+				Shall we try? Shall we go? Do you think we are able?"<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Sugar-tongs answered distinctly, "Of course!"</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page105" id="page105" title="105"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				So down the long staircase they hopped in a minute;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Sugar-tongs snapped, and the Crackers said "Crack!"</span>

+				The stable was open; the horses were in it:<br />

+				<span class="i2">Each took out a pony, and jumped on his back.</span>

+				The Cat in a fright scrambled out of the doorway;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Mice tumbled out of a bundle of hay;</span>

+				The brown and white Rats, and the black ones from Norway,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Screamed out, "They are taking the horses away!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				The whole of the household was filled with amazement:<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Cups and the Saucers danced madly about;</span>

+				The Plates and the Dishes looked out of the casement;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Salt-cellar stood on his head with a shout;</span>

+				The Spoons, with a clatter, looked out of the lattice;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Mustard-pot climbed up the gooseberry-pies;</span>

+				The Soup-ladle peeped through a heap of veal-patties,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And squeaked with a ladle-like scream of surprise.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				The Frying-pan said, "It's an awful delusion!"<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Tea-kettle hissed, and grew black in the face;</span>

+				And they all rushed downstairs in the wildest confusion<br />

+				<span class="i2">To see the great Nutcracker-Sugar-tong race.</span>

+				And out of the stable, with screamings and laughter<br />

+				<span class="i2">(Their ponies were cream-colored, speckled with brown),</span>

+				The Nutcrackers first, and the Sugar-tongs after;<br />

+				<span class="i2">Rode all round the yard, and then all round the town.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page106" id="page106" title="106"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				They rode through the street, and they rode by the station;<br />

+				<span class="i2">They galloped away to the beautiful shore;</span>

+				In silence they rode, and "made no observation,"<br />

+				<span class="i2">Save this: "We will never go back any more!"</span>

+				And still you might hear, till they rode out of hearing,<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Sugar-tongs snap, and the Crackers say "Crack!"</span>

+				Till, far in the distance their forms disappearing,<br />

+				<span class="i2">They faded away; and they never came back!</span>

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page107" id="page107" title="107"></a>						</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+

+			<div class="longpoem" id="calico">
+				<h3>CALICO PIE.</h3>
+				<img src="images/128.gif" alt="Calico Pie" align="right"/>
+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i2"><span class="largecap">C</span>alico pie,</span>

+				<span class="i4">The little birds fly</span>

+				<span class="i2">Down to the calico-tree:</span>

+				Their wings were blue,<br />

+				And they sang "Tilly-loo!"<br />

+				Till away they flew;<br />

+				<span class="i2">And they never came back to me!</span>

+				<span class="i4">They never came back,</span>

+				<span class="i4">They never came back,</span>

+				<span class="i2">They never came back to me!</span>

+

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page108" id="page108" title="108"></a>

+

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i2">Calico jam,</span>

+				<span class="i2">The little Fish swam</span>

+				Over the Syllabub Sea.<br />

+				<span class="i2">He took off his hat</span>

+				<span class="i2">To the Sole and the Sprat,</span>

+				<span class="i2">And the Willeby-wat:</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/129.gif" alt="Calico Pie" />

+				<p>

+				But he never came back to me;<br />

+				<span class="i2">He never came back,</span>

+				<span class="i2">He never came back,</span>

+				He never came back to me.<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i2">Calico ban,</span>

+				<span class="i2">The little Mice ran</span>

+				To be ready in time for tea;<br />

+				<span class="i2">Flippity flup,</span>

+				<span class="i2">They drank it all up,</span>

+				<span class="i2">And danced in the cup:</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page109" id="page109" title="109"></a>

+				But they never came back to me;<br />

+				<span class="i2">They never came back,</span>

+				<span class="i2">They never came back,</span>

+				They never came back to me<br />

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/130.gif" alt="Calico Pie" />

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i2">Calico drum,</span>

+				<span class="i2">The Grasshoppers come,</span>

+				The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Over the ground,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Around and round,</span>

+				<span class="i2">With a hop and a bound;</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/131.gif" alt="Calico Pie" />

+				<p>

+				But they never came back,<br />

+				<span class="i2">They never came back,</span>

+				<span class="i2">They never came back.</span>

+				They never came back to me.<br />

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page110" id="page110" title="110"></a>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="sparrows">

+				<img src="images/132.gif" alt="Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow" />

+				<br />

+				<h3>MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">O</span>n a little piece of wood<br />

+				Mr. Spikky Sparrow stood:<br />

+				Mrs. Sparrow sate close by,<br />

+				A-making of an insect-pie<br />

+				For her little children five,<br />

+				In the nest and all alive;<br />

+				Singing with a cheerful smile,<br />

+				To amuse them all the while,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"Twikky wikky wikky wee,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Wikky bikky twikky tee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Spikky bikky bee!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Mrs. Spikky Sparrow said,<br />

+				"Spikky, darling! in my head<br />

+				Many thoughts of trouble come,<br />

+				Like to flies upon a plum.<br />

+				All last night, among the trees,<br />

+				I heard you cough, I heard you sneeze;<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page111" id="page111" title="111"></a>

+				And thought I, 'It's come to that<br />

+				Because he does not wear a hat!'<br />

+				<span class="i4">Chippy wippy sikky tee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Bikky wikky tikky mee,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Spikky chippy wee!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Not that you are growing old;<br />

+				But the nights are growing cold.<br />

+				No one stays out all night long<br />

+				Without a hat: I'm sure it's wrong!"<br />

+				Mr. Spikky said, "How kind,<br />

+				Dear, you are, to speak your mind!<br />

+				All your life I wish you luck!<br />

+				You are, you are, a lovely duck!<br />

+				<span class="i4">Witchy witchy witchy wee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Twitchy witchy witchy bee,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Tikky tikky tee!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				"I was also sad, and thinking,<br />

+				When one day I saw you winking,<br />

+				And I heard you sniffle-snuffle,<br />

+				And I saw your feathers ruffle:<br />

+				To myself I sadly said,<br />

+				'She's neuralgia in her head!<br />

+				That dear head has nothing on it!<br />

+				Ought she not to wear a bonnet?'<br />

+				<span class="i4">Witchy kitchy kitchy wee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Spikky wikky mikky bee,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Chippy wippy chee!</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page112" id="page112" title="112"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Let us both fly up to town:<br />

+				There I'll buy you such a gown!<br />

+				Which, completely in the fashion,<br />

+				You shall tie a sky-blue sash on;<br />

+				And a pair of slippers neat<br />

+				To fit your darling little feet,<br />

+				So that you will look and feel<br />

+				Quite galloobious and genteel.<br />

+				<span class="i2">Jikky wikky bikky see,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Chicky bikky wikky bee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Twicky witchy wee!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				So they both to London went,<br />

+				Alighting on the Monument;<br />

+				Whence they flew down swiftly&#8212;pop!<br />

+				Into Moses' wholesale shop:<br />

+				There they bought a hat and bonnet,<br />

+				And a gown with spots upon it,<br />

+				A satin sash of Cloxam blue,<br />

+				And a pair of slippers too.<br />

+				<span class="i2">Zikky wikky mikky bee,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Witchy witchy mitchy kee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Sikky tikky wee!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VII.</p>

+				<p>

+				Then, when so completely dressed,<br />

+				Back they flew, and reached their nest.<br />

+				Their children cried, "O ma and pa!<br />

+				How truly beautiful you are!"<br />

+

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page113" id="page113" title="113"></a>

+

+				Said they, "We trust that cold or pain<br />

+				We shall never feel again;<br />

+				While, perched on tree or house or steeple,<br />

+				We now shall look like other people.<br />

+				<span class="i2">Witchy witchy witchy wee,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Twikky mikky bikky bee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Zikky sikky tee!"</span>

+				<img src="images/133.gif" alt="Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow" />

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page114" id="page114" title="114"></a>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="broomshovelpoker">

+				<img src="images/134.gif" alt="The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker, and the Tongs." />

+				<h3>THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS.</h3>

+

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>he Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,<br />

+				<span class="i2">They all took a drive in the Park;</span>

+				And they each sang a song, ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!<br />

+				<span class="i2">Before they went back in the dark.</span>

+				Mr. Poker he sate quite upright in the coach;<br />

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Tongs made a clatter and clash;</span>

+				Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch);<br />

+				<span class="i2">Mrs. Broom was in blue (with a sash).</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!</span>

+				<span class="i4">And they all sang a song.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				"O Shovely so lovely!" the Poker he sang,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"You have perfectly conquered my heart.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page115" id="page115" title="115"></a>

+				Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong! If you're pleased with my song,<br />

+				<span class="i2">I will feed you with cold apple-tart.</span>

+				When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound,<br />

+				<span class="i2">You enrapture my life with delight,</span>

+				Your nose is so shiny, your head is so round,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And your shape is so slender and bright!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ain't you pleased with my song?"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Alas! Mrs. Broom," sighed the Tongs in his song,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"Oh! is it because I'm so thin,</span>

+				And my legs are so long,&#8212;ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">That you don't care about me a pin?</span>

+				Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Ah! why don't you heed my complaint?</span>

+				Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Because you are covered with paint?</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!</span>

+				<span class="i4">You are certainly wrong."</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				Mrs. Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"What nonsense you're singing to-day!"</span>

+				Said the Shovel, "I'll certainly hit you a bang!"<br />

+				<span class="i2">Said the Broom, "And I'll sweep you away!"</span>

+				So the coachman drove homeward as fast as he could,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Perceiving their anger with pain;</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page116" id="page116" title="116"></a>

+				But they put on the kettle, and little by little<br />

+				<span class="i2">They all became happy again.</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!</span>

+				<span class="i4">There's an end of my song.</span>

+			<img src="images/135.gif" alt="The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker, and the Tongs." />

+			</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page117" id="page117" title="117"></a>

+			<div class="longpoem" id="tableandchair">

+				<img src="images/136.gif" alt="The Table and the Chair" /><br />

+				<h3>THE TABLE AND THE CHAIR.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">S</span>aid the Table to the Chair,<br />

+				"You can hardly be aware<br />

+				How I suffer from the heat<br />

+				And from chilblains on my feet.<br />

+				If we took a little walk,<br />

+				We might have a little talk;<br />

+				Pray let us take the air,"<br />

+				Said the Table to the Chair.<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Said the Chair unto the Table,<br />

+				"Now, you <i>know</i> we are not able:<br />

+				How foolishly you talk,<br />

+				When you know we <i>cannot</i> walk!"<br />

+				Said the Table with a sigh,<br />

+				"It can do no harm to try.<br />

+				I've as many legs as you:<br />

+				Why can't we walk on two?"<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page118" id="page118" title="118"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				So they both went slowly down,<br />

+				And walked about the town<br />

+				With a cheerful bumpy sound<br />

+				As they toddled round and round;<br />

+				And everybody cried,<br />

+				As they hastened to their side,<br />

+				"See! the Table and the Chair<br />

+				Have come out to take the air!"<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				But in going down an alley,<br />

+				To a castle in a valley,<br />

+				They completely lost their way,<br />

+				And wandered all the day;<br />

+				Till, to see them safely back,<br />

+				They paid a Ducky-quack,<br />

+				And a Beetle, and a Mouse,<br />

+				Who took them to their house.<br />

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/137.gif" alt="The Table and the Chair" />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page119" id="page119" title="119"></a>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				Then they whispered to each other,<br />

+				"O delightful little brother,<br />

+				What a lovely walk we've taken!<br />

+				Let us dine on beans and bacon."<br />

+				So the Ducky and the leetle<br />

+				Browny-Mousy and the Beetle<br />

+				Dined, and danced upon their heads<br />

+				Till they toddled to their beds.<br />

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/138.gif" alt="The Table and the Chair" />

+			</div>

+<a class="pagenumber" name="page120" id="page120" title="120"></a>

+		</div>

+

+		<div class="subbook" id="stories">

+			<hr />

+			<h2>NONSENSE STORIES.</h2>

+			<p class="subbookmenu">

+			<a href="#children">The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World</a> <a href="#pipple">The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple</a>

+			</p>

+			<hr />

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page121" id="page121" title="121"></a>

+			<div class="chapter" id="children">

+					<h3>THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD.</h3>

+					<p>

+					Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little

+					people whose names were<br />

+					<br />

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/139.gif" alt="Violet, Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel;" />

+					<br />

+					and they all thought they should like to see the world. So they

+					bought a large boat to sail quite round the world by sea, and then

+					they were to come back on the other side by land. The boat was

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page122" id="page122" title="122"></a>

+					painted blue with green spots, and the sail was yellow with red

+					stripes: and, when they set off, they only took a small Cat to steer

+					and look after the boat, besides an elderly Quangle-Wangle, who

+					had to cook the dinner and make the tea; for which purposes they

+					took a large kettle.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/140.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					For the first ten days they sailed on beautifully, and found plenty

+					to eat, as there were lots of fish; and they had only to take them

+					out of the sea with a long spoon, when the Quangle-Wangle instantly

+					cooked them; and the Pussy-Cat was fed with the bones,

+					with which she expressed herself pleased, on the whole: so that all

+					the party were very happy.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/141.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page123" id="page123" title="123"></a>

+					<p>

+					During the daytime, Violet chiefly occupied herself in putting

+					salt water into a churn; while her three brothers churned it violently,

+					in the hope that it would turn into butter, which it seldom

+					if ever did; and in the evening they all retired into the tea-kettle,

+					where they all managed to sleep very comfortably, while Pussy and

+					the Quangle-Wangle managed the boat.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/142.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					After a time, they saw some land at a distance; and, when they

+					came to it, they found it was an island made of water quite surrounded

+					by earth. Besides that, it was bordered by evanescent

+					isthmuses, with a great gulf-stream running about all over it; so

+					that it was perfectly beautiful, and contained only a single tree,

+					503 feet high.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					<img src="images/143.gif" align="left" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." /><br />

+					When they had landed, they walked about, but found, to their

+					great surprise, that the island was quite full of veal-cutlets and

+					chocolate-drops, and nothing else. So they all climbed up the

+					single high tree to discover, if possible, if there were any people;

+					but having remained on the top of the tree for a week, and not

+					seeing anybody, they naturally concluded that there were no inhabitants;

+					and accordingly, when they came down, they loaded

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page124" id="page124" title="124"></a>

+					the boat with two thousand veal-cutlets

+					and a million of chocolate-drops;

+					and these afforded

+					them sustenance for more than

+					a month, during which time

+					they pursued their voyage with

+					the utmost delight and apathy.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/144.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World."/><br />

+					After this they came to a

+					shore where there were no less than sixty-five

+					great red parrots with blue tails, sitting

+					on a rail all of a row, and all fast asleep.

+					And I am sorry to say that the Pussy-Cat

+					and the Quangle-Wangle crept softly, and

+					bit off the tail-feathers of all the sixty-five

+					parrots; for which Violet reproved them

+					both severely.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Notwithstanding which, she proceeded

+					to insert all the feathers&#8212;two hundred

+					and sixty in number&#8212;in her bonnet;

+					thereby causing it to have a lovely and

+					glittering appearance, highly prepossessing

+					and efficacious.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/145.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					The next thing that happened to them

+					was in a narrow part of the sea, which was

+					so entirely full of fishes that the boat could

+					go on no farther: so they remained there

+					about six weeks, till they had eaten nearly

+					all the fishes, which were soles, and all

+					ready-cooked, and covered with shrimp-sauce,

+					so that there was no trouble whatever.

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page125" id="page125" title="125"></a>

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					And as the few fishes who remained uneaten complained of

+					the cold, as well as of the difficulty they had in getting any sleep on

+					account of the extreme noise made by the arctic bears and the tropical

+					turnspits, which frequented the neighborhood in great numbers,

+					Violet most amiably knitted a small woollen frock for several of

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page126" id="page126" title="126"></a>

+					the fishes, and Slingsby administered some opium-drops to them;

+					through which kindness they became quite warm, and slept soundly.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/146.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					Then they came to a country which was wholly covered with

+					immense orange-trees of a vast size, and quite full of fruit. So they

+					all landed, taking with them the tea-kettle, intending to gather some

+					of the oranges, and place them in it. But, while they were busy

+					about this, a most dreadfully high wind rose, and blew out most of

+					the parrot-tail feathers from Violet's bonnet. That, however, was

+					nothing compared with the calamity of the oranges falling down on

+					their heads by millions and millions, which thumped and bumped

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page127" id="page127" title="127"></a>

+					and bumped and thumped them all so seriously, that they were

+					obliged to run as hard as they could for their lives; besides that

+					the sound of the oranges rattling on the tea-kettle was of the most

+					fearful and amazing nature.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/147.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					Nevertheless, they got safely to the boat, although considerably

+					vexed and hurt; and the Quangle-Wangle's right foot was so

+					knocked about, that he had to sit with his head in his slipper for

+					at least a week.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/148.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." /><br />

+					<p>

+					This event made them all for a time rather melancholy: and perhaps

+					they might never have become less so, had not Lionel, with a

+					most praiseworthy devotion and perseverance, continued to stand

+					on one leg,<br />

+					and whistle to them in a loud and lively manner; which

+					diverted the whole party so extremely

+					that they gradually recovered

+					their spirits, and agreed

+					that whenever they should reach

+					home, they would subscribe towards

+					a testimonial to Lionel, entirely

+					made of gingerbread and

+					raspberries, as an earnest token of

+					their sincere and grateful infection.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/149.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />
+
+					<p>

+					After sailing on calmly for

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page128" id="page128" title="128"></a>

+					several more days, they came to another country, where they were

+					much pleased and surprised to see a countless multitude of white

+					Mice with red eyes, all sitting in a great circle, slowly eating

+					custard-pudding with the most satisfactory and polite demeanor.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/150.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					And as the four travellers were rather hungry, being tired of eating

+					nothing but soles and oranges for so long a period, they held

+					a council as to the propriety of asking the Mice for some of their

+					pudding in a humble and affecting manner, by which they could

+					hardly be otherwise than gratified. It was agreed, therefore, that

+					Guy should go and ask the Mice, which he immediately did; and

+					the result was, that they gave a walnut-shell only half full of custard

+					diluted with water. Now, this displeased Guy, who said, "Out of

+					such a lot of pudding as you have got, I must say, you might have

+					spared a somewhat larger quantity." But no sooner had he finished

+					speaking than the Mice turned round at once, and sneezed at him

+					in an appalling and vindictive manner (and it is impossible to

+					imagine a more scroobious and unpleasant sound than that caused by

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page129" id="page129" title="129"></a>

+					the simultaneous sneezing of many millions of angry Mice); so that

+					Guy rushed back to the boat, having first shied his cap into the

+					middle of the custard-pudding, by which means he completely

+					spoiled the Mice's dinner.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/151.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					By and by the four children came to a country where there were

+					no houses, but only an incredibly innumerable number of large

+					bottles without corks, and of a dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue

+					color. Each of these blue bottles contained a Blue-Bottle-Fly; and

+					all these interesting animals live continually together in the most

+					copious and rural harmony: nor perhaps in many parts of the world

+					is such perfect and abject happiness to be found. Violet and

+					Slingsby and Guy and Lionel were greatly struck with this singular

+					and instructive settlement; and, having previously asked permission

+					of the Blue-Bottle-Flies (which was most courteously granted), the

+					boat was drawn up to the shore, and they proceeded to make tea in

+					front of the bottles: but as they had no tea-leaves, they merely

+					placed some pebbles in the hot water; and the Quangle-Wangle

+					played some tunes over it on an accordion, by which, of course, tea

+					was made directly, and of the very best quality.

+					</p>

+				<img class="centeredimage" src="images/152.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					The four children then entered into conversation with the Blue-Bottle-Flies,

+					who discoursed in a placid and genteel manner, though

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page130" id="page130" title="130"></a>

+					with a slightly buzzing accent, chiefly owing to the fact that they

+					each held a small clothes-brush between their teeth, which naturally

+					occasioned a fizzy, extraneous utterance.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"Why," said Violet, "would you kindly inform us, do you reside

+					in bottles; and, if in bottles at all, why not, rather, in green or purple,

+					or, indeed, in yellow bottles?"

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					To which questions a very aged Blue-Bottle-Fly answered, "We

+					found the bottles here all ready to live in; that is to say, our

+					great-great-great-great-great-grandfathers did: so we occupied them at

+					once. And, when the winter comes on, we turn the bottles upside

+					down, and consequently rarely feel the cold at all; and you know

+					very well that this could not be the case with bottles of any other

+					color than blue."

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"Of course it could not," said Slingsby. "But, if we may take

+					the liberty of inquiring, on what do you chiefly subsist?"

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"Mainly on oyster-patties," said the Blue-Bottle-Fly; "and,

+					when these are scarce, on raspberry vinegar and Russian leather

+					boiled down to a jelly."

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"How delicious!" said Guy.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					To which Lionel added, "Huzz!" And all the Blue-Bottle-Flies

+					said, "Buzz!"

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					At this time, an elderly Fly said it was the hour for the evening-song

+					to be sung; and, on a signal being given, all the Blue-Bottle-Flies

+					began to buzz at once in a sumptuous and sonorous manner,

+					the melodious and mucilaginous sounds echoing all over the waters,

+					and resounding across the tumultuous tops of the transitory titmice

+					upon the intervening and verdant mountains with a serene and

+					sickly suavity only known to the truly virtuous. The Moon was

+					shining slobaciously from the star-bespangled sky, while her light

+					irrigated the smooth and shiny sides and wings and backs of the

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page131" id="page131" title="131"></a>

+					Blue-Bottle-Flies with a peculiar and trivial splendor, while all

+					Nature cheerfully responded to the cerulean and conspicuous

+					circumstances.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					In many long-after years, the four little travellers looked back to

+					that evening as one of the happiest in all their lives; and it was

+					already past midnight when&#8212;the sail of the boat having been set

+					up by the Quangle-Wangle, the tea-kettle and churn placed in their

+					respective positions, and the Pussy-Cat stationed at the helm&#8212;the

+					children each took a last and affectionate farewell of the Blue-Bottle-Flies,

+					who walked down in a body to the water's edge to see the

+					travellers embark.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/153.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					As a token of parting respect and esteem, Violet made a courtesy

+					quite down to the ground, and stuck one of her few remaining

+					parrot-tail feathers into the back hair of the most pleasing of the

+					Blue-Bottle-Flies; while Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel offered them

+					three small boxes, containing, respectively, black pins, dried figs,

+					and Epsom salts; and thus they left that happy shore forever.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Overcome by their feelings, the four little travellers instantly

+					jumped into the tea-kettle, and fell fast asleep. But all along

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page132" id="page132" title="132"></a>

+					the shore, for many hours, there was distinctly heard a sound of

+					severely-suppressed sobs, and of a vague multitude of living creatures

+					using their pocket-handkerchiefs in a subdued simultaneous

+					snuffle, lingering sadly along the walloping waves as the boat sailed

+					farther and farther away from the Land of the Happy Blue-Bottle-Flies.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Nothing particular occurred for some days after these events,

+					except that, as the travellers were passing a low tract of sand, they

+					perceived an unusual and gratifying spectacle; namely, a large

+					number of Crabs and Crawfish&#8212;perhaps six or seven hundred&#8212;sitting

+					by the water-side, and endeavoring to disentangle a vast

+					heap of pale pink worsted, which they moistened at intervals with

+					a fluid composed of lavender-water and white-wine negus.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"Can we be of any service to you, O crusty Crabbies?" said the

+					four children.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"Thank you kindly," said the Crabs consecutively. "We are

+					trying to make some worsted mittens, but do not know how."

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					On which Violet, who was perfectly acquainted with the art of

+					mitten-making, said to the Crabs, "Do your claws unscrew, or are

+					they fixtures?"

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"They are all made to unscrew," said the Crabs; and forthwith

+					they deposited a great pile of claws close to the boat, with which

+					Violet uncombed all the pale pink worsted, and then made the loveliest

+					mittens with it you can imagine. These the Crabs, having

+					resumed and screwed on their claws, placed cheerfully upon their

+					wrists, and walked away rapidly on their hind-legs, warbling songs

+					with a silvery voice and in a minor key.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					After this, the four little people sailed on again till they came to

+					a vast and wide plain of astonishing dimensions, on which nothing

+					whatever could be discovered at first; but, as the travellers walked

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page133" id="page133" title="133"></a>

+					onward, there appeared in the extreme and dim distance a single

+					object, which on a nearer approach, and on an accurately cutaneous

+					inspection, seemed to be somebody in a large white wig, sitting on

+					an arm-chair made of sponge-cakes and oyster-shells. "It does not

+					quite look like a human being," said Violet doubtfully; nor could

+					they make out what it really was, till the Quangle-Wangle (who had

+					previously been round the world) exclaimed softly in a loud voice,

+					"It is the co-operative Cauliflower!"

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/154.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					And so, in truth, it was: and they soon found that what they had

+					taken for an immense wig was in reality the top of the Cauliflower;

+					and that he had no feet at all, being able to walk tolerably well with

+					a fluctuating and graceful movement on a single cabbage-stalk,&#8212;an

+					accomplishment which naturally saved him the expense of stockings

+					and shoes.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Presently, while the whole party from the boat was gazing at

+					him with mingled affection and disgust, he suddenly arose, and,

+					in a somewhat plumdomphious manner, hurried off towards the

+					setting sun,&#8212;his steps supported by two superincumbent confidential

+					Cucumbers, and a large number of Waterwagtails proceeding

+					in advance of him by three and three in a row,&#8212;till he finally

+					disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a crystal cloud of

+					sudorific sand.

+					</p>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page134" id="page134" title="134"></a>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/155.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					So remarkable a sight, of course, impressed the four children very

+					deeply; and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong

+					sense of undeveloped asthma and a great appetite.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Shortly after this, the travellers were obliged to sail directly below

+					some high overhanging rocks, from the top of one of which a particularly

+					odious little boy, dressed in rose-colored knickerbockers,

+					and with a pewter plate upon his head, threw an enormous pumpkin

+					at the boat, by which it was instantly upset.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/156.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					But this upsetting was of no consequence, because all the party

+					knew how to swim very well: and, in fact, they preferred swimming

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page135" id="page135" title="135"></a>

+					about till after the moon rose; when, the water growing chilly, they

+					sponge-taneously entered the boat. Meanwhile the Quangle-Wangle

+					threw back the pumpkin with immense force, so that it hit the rocks

+					where the malicious little boy in rose-colored knickerbockers was

+					sitting; when, being quite full of lucifer-matches, the pumpkin

+					exploded surreptitiously into a thousand bits; whereon the rocks

+					instantly took fire, and the odious little boy became unpleasantly

+					hotter and hotter and hotter, till his knickerbockers were turned

+					quite green, and his nose was burnt off.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Two or three days after this had happened, they came to another

+					place, where they found nothing at all except some wide and deep

+					pits full of mulberry-jam. This is the property of the tiny, yellow-nosed

+					Apes who abound in these districts, and who store up the

+					mulberry-jam for their food in winter, when they mix it with pellucid

+					pale periwinkle-soup, and serve it out in wedgewood china-bowls,

+					which grow freely all over that part of the country. Only

+					one of the yellow-nosed Apes was on the spot, and he was fast

+					asleep; yet the four travellers and the Quangle-Wangle and Pussy

+					were so terrified by the violence and sanguinary sound of his snoring,

+					that they merely took a small cupful of the jam, and returned

+					to re-embark in their boat without delay.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					What was their horror on seeing the boat (including the churn

+					and the tea-kettle) in the mouth of an enormous Seeze Pyder, an

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page136" id="page136" title="136"></a>

+					aquatic and ferocious creature truly dreadful to behold, and,

+					happily, only met with in those excessive longitudes! In a moment,

+					the beautiful boat was bitten into fifty-five thousand million hundred

+					billion bits; and it instantly became quite clear that Violet, Slingsby,

+					Guy, and Lionel could no longer preliminate their voyage by sea.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/157.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					The four travellers were therefore obliged to resolve on pursuing

+					their wanderings by land: and, very fortunately, there happened

+					to pass by at that moment an elderly Rhinoceros, on which they

+					seized; and, all four mounting on his back,&#8212;the Quangle-Wangle

+					sitting on his horn, and holding on by his ears, and the Pussy-Cat

+					swinging at the end of his tail,&#8212;they set off, having only four small

+					beans and three pounds of mashed potatoes to last through their

+					whole journey.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/158.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					They were, however, able to catch numbers of the chickens and

+					turkeys and other birds who incessantly alighted on the head of the

+					Rhinoceros for the purpose of gathering the seeds of the rhododendron-plants which grew there; and these creatures they cooked in

+					the most translucent and satisfactory manner by means of a fire

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page137" id="page137" title="137"></a>

+					lighted on the end of the Rhinoceros's back. A crowd of Kangaroos

+					and gigantic Cranes accompanied them, from feelings of curiosity

+					and complacency; so that they were never at a loss for company,

+					and went onward, as it were, in a sort of profuse and triumphant

+					procession.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Thus in less than eighteen weeks they all arrived safely at

+					home, where they were received by their admiring relatives with

+					joy tempered with contempt, and where they finally resolved to

+					carry out the rest of their travelling-plans at some more favorable

+					opportunity.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					As for the Rhinoceros, in token of their grateful adherence, they

+					had him killed and stuffed directly, and then set him up outside

+					the door of their father's house as a diaphanous doorscraper.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/159.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page138" id="page138" title="138"></a>

+				</div>

+				<hr />

+				<div class="story" id="pipple">

+					<h3>THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE.</h3>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter1">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER I.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">INTRODUCTORY.</p>

+						<p>

+						In former days,&#8212;that is to say, once upon a time,&#8212;there lived

+						in the Land of Gramble-Blamble seven families. They lived

+						by the side of the great Lake Pipple-Popple (one of the seven

+						families, indeed, lived <i>in</i> the lake), and on the outskirts of the city

+						of Tosh, which, excepting when it was quite dark, they could see

+						plainly. The names of all these places you have probably heard

+						of; and you have only not to look in your geography-books to

+						find out all about them.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						Now, the seven families who lived on the borders of the great

+						Lake Pipple-Popple were as follows in the next chapter.

+						</p>

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter2" align="center">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER II.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE SEVEN FAMILIES.</p>

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Parrots and seven young

+						Parrots.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page139" id="page139" title="139"></a>						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/160.gif" alt="parrots" /><br />

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Storks and seven young Storks.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/161.gif" alt="storks" /><br />

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Geese and seven young Geese.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/162.gif" alt="geese" /><br />

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page140" id="page140" title="140"></a>

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Owls and seven young Owls.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/163.gif" alt="owls" />

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Guinea Pigs and seven young

+						Guinea Pigs.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/164.gif" alt="guinea pigs" />

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Cats and seven young Cats.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/165.gif" alt="cats" />

+						<p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page141" id="page141" title="141"></a>

+						And there was a family of two old Fishes and seven young

+						Fishes.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/166.gif" alt="fishes" />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter3">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER III.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HABITS OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES.</p>

+						<p>

+						The Parrots lived upon the Soffsky-Poffsky trees, which were

+						beautiful to behold, and covered with blue leaves; and they

+						fed upon fruit, artichokes, and striped beetles.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The Storks walked in and out of the Lake Pipple-Popple, and

+						ate frogs for breakfast, and buttered toast for tea; but on account

+						of the extreme length of their legs they could not sit down, and so

+						they walked about continually.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The Geese, having webs to their feet, caught quantities of flies,

+						which they ate for dinner.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The Owls anxiously looked after mice, which they caught, and

+						made into sago-puddings.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The Guinea Pigs toddled about the gardens, and ate lettuces

+						and Cheshire cheese.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page142" id="page142" title="142"></a>

+						The Cats sate still in the sunshine, and fed upon sponge biscuits.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The Fishes lived in the lake, and fed chiefly on boiled periwinkles.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And all these seven families lived together in the utmost fun and

+						felicity.

+						</p>

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter4">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER IV.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE CHILDREN OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES ARE SENT AWAY.</p>

+						<p>

+						One day all the seven fathers and the seven mothers of the

+						seven families agreed that they would send their children

+						out to see the world.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So they called them all together, and gave them each eight

+						shillings and some good advice, some chocolate-drops, and a small

+						green morocco pocket-book to set down their expenses in.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						They then particularly entreated them not to quarrel; and all

+						the parents sent off their children with a parting injunction.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						"If," said the old Parrots, "you find a cherry, do not fight

+						about who should have it."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						"And," said the old Storks, "if you find a frog, divide it carefully

+						into seven bits, but on no account quarrel about it."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And the old Geese said to the seven young Geese, "Whatever

+						you do, be sure you do not touch a plum-pudding flea."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And the old Owls said, "If you find a mouse, tear him up into

+						seven slices, and eat him cheerfully, but without quarrelling."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And the old Guinea Pigs said, "Have a care that you eat your

+						lettuces, should you find any, not greedily, but calmly."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And the old Cats said, "Be particularly careful not to meddle

+						with a clangle-wangle if you should see one."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page143" id="page143" title="143"></a>

+						And the old Fishes said, "Above all things, avoid eating a blue

+						boss-woss; for they do not agree with fishes, and give them a pain

+						in their toes."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So all the children of each family thanked their parents; and,

+						making in all forty-nine polite bows, they went into the wide

+						world.

+						</p>

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter5">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER V.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG PARROTS.</p>

+						<p>

+						The seven young Parrots had not gone far, when they saw

+						a tree with a single cherry on it, which the oldest Parrot

+						picked instantly; but the other six, being extremely hungry, tried

+						to get it also. On which all the seven began to fight; and they

+						scuffled,<br />

+						<span class="i5">and huffled,</span>

+						<span class="i7">and ruffled,</span>

+						<span class="i9">and shuffled,</span>

+						<span class="i11">and puffled,</span>

+						<span class="i13">and muffled,</span>

+						<span class="i15">and buffled,</span>

+						<span class="i17">and duffled,</span>

+						<span class="i19">and fluffled,</span>

+						<span class="i21">and guffled,</span>

+						<span class="i23">and bruffled, and</span>

+						<span class="i25">screamed, and shrieked, and squealed,</span>

+						and squeaked, and clawed, and snapped, and bit, and bumped,

+						and thumped, and dumped, and flumped each other, till they were

+						all torn into little bits; and at last there was nothing left to record

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page144" id="page144" title="144"></a>

+						this painful incident except the cherry and seven small green

+						feathers.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And that was the vicious and voluble end of the seven young

+						Parrots.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/167.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter6">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER VI.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG STORKS.</p>

+						<p>

+						When the seven young Storks set out, they walked or flew for

+						fourteen weeks in a straight line, and for six weeks more in

+						a crooked one; and after that they ran as hard as they could for

+						one hundred and eight miles; and after that they stood still, and

+						made a himmeltanious chatter-clatter-blattery noise with their bills.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						About the same time they perceived a large frog, spotted with

+						green, and with a sky-blue stripe under each ear.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So, being hungry, they immediately flew at him, and were going

+						to divide him into seven pieces, when they began to quarrel as to

+						which of his legs should be taken off first. One said this, and

+						another said that; and while they were all quarrelling, the frog

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page145" id="page145" title="145"></a>

+						hopped away. And when they saw that he was gone, they began

+						to chatter-clatter,<br />

+						<span class="i7">blatter-platter,</span>

+						<span class="i9">patter-blatter,</span>

+						<span class="i11">matter-clatter,</span>

+						<span class="i13">flatter-quatter,</span>

+						more violently than ever; and after they

+						had fought for a week, they pecked each other all to little pieces,

+						so that at last nothing was left of any of them except their bills.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And that was the end of the seven young Storks.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/168.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter7">

+

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER VII.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GEESE.</p>

+						<p>

+						When the seven young Geese began to travel, they went over

+						a large plain, on which there was but one tree, and that was,

+						a very bad one.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page146" id="page146" title="146"></a>

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So four of them went up to the top of it, and looked about

+						them; while the other three waddled up and down, and repeated

+						poetry, and their last six lessons in arithmetic, geography, and

+						cookery.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						Presently they perceived, a long way off, an object of the most

+						interesting and obese appearance, having a perfectly round body

+						exactly resembling a boiled plum-pudding, with two little wings, and

+						a beak, and three feathers growing out of his head, and only one

+						leg.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So, after a time, all the seven young Geese said to each

+						other, "Beyond all doubt this beast must be a Plum-pudding

+						Flea!"

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						On which they incautiously began to sing aloud,

+						</p>

+						<blockquote>

+						<span class="i12">"Plum-pudding Flea,</span>

+						<span class="i12">Plum-pudding Flea,</span>

+						<span class="i12">Wherever you be,</span>

+						<span class="i12">Oh! come to our tree,</span>

+						<span class="i8">And listen, oh! listen, oh! listen to me!"</span>

+						</blockquote>

+						<p>

+						And no sooner had they sung this verse than the Plum-pudding

+						Flea began to hop and skip on his one leg with the

+						most dreadful velocity, and came straight to the tree, where he

+						stopped, and looked about him in a vacant and voluminous

+						manner.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						On which the seven young Geese were greatly alarmed, and all

+						of a tremble-bemble: so one of them put out his long neck, and

+						just touched him with the tip of his bill; but no sooner had he

+						done this than the Plum-pudding Flea skipped and hopped about

+						more and more, and higher and higher; after which he opened

+						his mouth, and, to the great surprise and indignation of the seven

+						Geese, began to bark so loudly and furiously and terribly, that

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page147" id="page147" title="147"></a>

+						they were totally unable to bear the noise; and by degrees every

+						one of them suddenly tumbled down quite dead.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So that was the end of the seven young Geese.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/169.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter8">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER VIII.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG OWLS.</p>

+						<p>

+						When the seven young Owls set out, they sate every now and

+						then on the branches of old trees, and never went far at

+						one time.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And one night, when it was quite dark, they thought they heard

+						a mouse; but, as the gas-lamps were not lighted, they could not

+						see him.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So they called out, "Is that a mouse?"

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						On which a mouse answered, "Squeaky-peeky-weeky! yes, it is!"

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And immediately all the young Owls threw themselves off the

+						tree, meaning to alight on the ground; but they did not perceive

+						that there was a large well below them, into which they all fell superficially,

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page148" id="page148" title="148"></a>

+						and were every one of them drowned in less than half a

+						minute.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So that was the end of the seven young Owls.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/170.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter9">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER IX.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GUINEA PIGS.</p>

+						<p>

+						The seven young Guinea Pigs went into a garden full of goose-berry-bushes

+						and tiggory-trees, under one of which they fell

+						asleep. When they awoke, they saw a large lettuce, which had

+						grown out of the ground while they had been sleeping, and which

+						had an immense number of green leaves. At which they all

+						exclaimed,&#8212;

+						</p>

+						<blockquote>

+						"Lettuce! O lettuce<br />

+						Let us, O let us,<br />

+						O lettuce-leaves,<br />

+						O let us leave this tree, and eat<br />

+						Lettuce, O let us, lettuce-leaves!"

+						</blockquote>

+						<p>

+										<a class="pagenumber" name="page149" id="page149" title="149"></a>

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And instantly the seven young Guinea Pigs rushed with such extreme

+						force against the lettuce-plant, and hit their heads so vividly

+						against its stalk, that the concussion brought on directly an incipient

+						transitional inflammation of their noses, which grew worse and worse

+						and worse and worse, till it incidentally killed them all seven.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And that was the end of the seven young Guinea Pigs.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/171.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter10">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER X.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG CATS.</p>

+						<p>

+						The seven young Cats set off on their travels with great delight

+						and rapacity. But, on coming to the top of a high hill, they

+						perceived at a long distance off a Clangle-Wangle (or, as it is more

+						properly written, Clangel-Wangel); and, in spite of the warning

+						they had had, they ran straight up to it.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						(Now, the Clangle-Wangle is a most dangerous and delusive

+						beast, and by no means commonly to be met with. They live in

+						the water as well as on land, using their long tail as a sail when in

+						the former element. Their speed is extreme; but their habits of

+						life are domestic and superfluous, and their general demeanor pensive

+										<a class="pagenumber" name="page150" id="page150" title="150"></a>

+						and pellucid. On summer evenings, they may sometimes be

+						observed near the Lake Pipple-Popple, standing on their heads, and

+						humming their national melodies. They subsist entirely on vegetables,

+						excepting when they eat veal or mutton or pork or beef or

+						fish or saltpetre.)

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The moment the Clangle-Wangle saw the seven young Cats approach,

+						he ran away; and as he ran straight on for four months,

+						and the Cats, though they continued to run, could never overtake

+						him, they all gradually <i>died</i> of fatigue and exhaustion, and never

+						afterwards recovered.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And this was the end of the seven young Cats.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/172.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter11">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER XI.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG FISHES.</p>

+						<p>

+						The seven young Fishes swam across the Lake Pipple-Popple,

+						and into the river, and into the ocean; where, most unhappily

+						for them, they saw, on the fifteenth day of their travels, a

+						bright-blue Boss-Woss, and instantly swam after him. But the Blue

+						Boss-Woss plunged into a perpendicular,<br />

+						<span class="i16">spicular,</span>

+						<span class="i18">orbicular,</span>

+						<span class="i20">quadrangular,</span>

+						<span class="i22">circular depth of soft mud;</span>

+						where, in fact, his house was.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page151" id="page151" title="151"></a>

+						And the seven young Fishes, swimming with great and uncomfortable

+						velocity, plunged also into the mud quite against their will,

+						and, not being accustomed to it, were all suffocated in a very short

+						period.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And that was the end of the seven young Fishes.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/173.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<p>

+					CHAPTER XII.

+					</p>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter12">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER XII.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">OF WHAT OCCURRED SUBSEQUENTLY.</p>

+						<p>

+						After it was known that the

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						<span class="i2">seven young Parrots,</span>

+						and the seven young Storks,<br />

+						and the seven young Geese,<br />

+						and the seven young Owls,<br />

+						and the seven young Guinea Pigs,<br />

+						and the seven young Cats,<br />

+						and the seven young Fishes,

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						were all dead, then the Frog, and the Plum-pudding Flea, and the

+						Mouse, and the Clangle-Wangle, and the Blue Boss-Woss, all met

+						together to rejoice over their good fortune. And they collected

+						the seven feathers of the seven young Parrots, and the seven bills of

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page152" id="page152" title="152"></a>

+						the seven young Storks, and the lettuce, and the cherry; and

+						having placed the latter on the lettuce, and the other objects in a

+						circular arrangement at their base, they danced a hornpipe round

+						all these memorials until they were quite tired; after which they

+						gave a tea-party, and a garden-party, and a ball, and a concert, and

+						then returned to their respective homes full of joy and respect,

+						sympathy, satisfaction, and disgust.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/174.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter13">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER XIII.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">OF WHAT BECAME OF THE PARENTS OF THE FORTY-NINE CHILDREN.</p>

+						<p>

+						BUT when the two old Parrots,<br />

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Storks,</span>

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Geese,</span>

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Owls,</span>

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Guinea Pigs,</span>

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Cats,</span>

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Fishes,</span>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page153" id="page153" title="153"></a>

+						became aware, by reading in the newspapers, of the calamitous extinction

+						of the whole of their families, they refused all further sustenance;

+						and, sending out to various shops, they purchased great

+						quantities of Cayenne pepper and brandy and vinegar and blue

+						sealing-wax, besides seven immense glass bottles with air-tight

+						stoppers. And, having done this, they ate a light supper of brown-bread

+						and Jerusalem artichokes, and took an affecting and formal

+						leave of the whole of their acquaintance, which was very numerous

+						and distinguished and select and responsible and ridiculous.

+						</p>

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter14">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER XIV.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">CONCLUSION.</p>

+						<p>

+						And after this they filled the bottles with the ingredients for

+						pickling, and each couple jumped into a separate bottle; by

+						which effort, of course, they all died immediately, and became

+						thoroughly pickled in a few minutes; having previously made

+						their wills (by the assistance of the most eminent lawyers of the

+						district), in which they left strict orders that the stoppers of the

+						seven bottles should be carefully sealed up with the blue sealing-wax

+						they had purchased; and that they themselves, in the bottles,

+						should be presented to the principal museum of the city of Tosh,

+						to be labelled with parchment or any other anti-congenial succedaneum,

+						and to be placed on a marble table with silver-gilt legs, for

+						the daily inspection and contemplation, and for the perpetual

+						benefit, of the pusillanimous public.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And if you ever happen to go to Gramble-Blamble, and visit

+						that museum in the city of Tosh, look for them on the ninety-eighth

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page154" id="page154" title="154"></a>

+						table in the four hundred and twenty-seventh room of the

+						right-hand corridor of the left wing of the central quadrangle of

+						that magnificent building; for, if you do not, you certainly will

+						not see them.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/175.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page155" id="page155" title="155"></a>

+					</div>

+				</div>

+			</div>

+

+			<div class="subbook" id="cookery">

+			<hr />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page156" id="page156" title="156"></a>

+				<h2>NONSENSE COOKERY.</h2>

+				<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#cook1">Amblongus Pie</a> <a href="#cook2">Crumbobblious Cutlets</a> <a href="#cook3">Gosky Patties</a>

+				</p>

+				<hr />

+				<p>

+				Extract from the <i>Nonsense Gazette</i>, for August, 1870.

+				</p>

+				<blockquote>

+				"Our readers will be interested in the following communications

+				from our valued and learned contributor, Prof. Bosh,

+				whose labors in the fields of culinary and botanical science are so

+				well known to all the world. The first three articles richly merit

+				to be added to the domestic cookery of every family: those which

+				follow claim the attention of all botanists; and we are happy to

+				be able, through Dr. Bosh's kindness, to present our readers with

+				illustrations of his discoveries. All the new flowers are found in

+				the Valley of Verrikwier, near the Lake of Oddgrow, and on the

+				summit of the Hill Orfeltugg."

+				</blockquote>

+				<hr />

+				<h3>THREE RECEIPTS FOR DOMESTIC COOKERY.</h3>

+				<hr />

+				<div class="recipe" id="cook1">

+					<h4>TO MAKE AN AMBLONGUS PIE.</h4>

+					<p>

+					Take 4 pounds (say 4&#189; pounds) of fresh Amblongusses, and

+					put them in a small pipkin.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Cover them with water, and boil them for 8 hours incessantly;

+					after which add 2 pints of new milk, and proceed to boil for 4

+					hours more.

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page157" id="page157" title="157"></a>						</p>

+					<p>

+					When you have ascertained that the Amblongusses are quite

+					soft, take them out, and place them in a wide pan, taking care to

+					shake them well previously.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Grate some nutmeg over the surface, and cover them carefully

+					with powdered gingerbread, curry-powder, and a sufficient quantity

+					of Cayenne pepper.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Remove the pan into the next room, and place it on the floor.

+					Bring it back again, and let it simmer for three-quarters of an hour.

+					Shake the pan violently till all the Amblongusses have become of a

+					pale purple color.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Then, having prepared the paste, insert the whole carefully;

+					adding at the same time a small pigeon, 2 slices of beef, 4 cauliflowers,

+					and any number of oysters.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Watch patiently till the crust begins to rise, and add a pinch of

+					salt from time to time.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Serve up in a clean dish, and throw the whole out of window

+					as fast as possible.

+					</p>

+				</div>

+				<hr />

+				<div class="recipe" id="cook2">

+					<h4>TO MAKE CRUMBOBBLIOUS CUTLETS.</h4>

+					<p>

+					Procure some strips of beef, and, having cut them into the

+					smallest possible slices, proceed to cut them still smaller,&#8212;

+					eight, or perhaps nine times.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					When the whole is thus minced, brush it up hastily with a new

+					clothes-brush, and stir round rapidly and capriciously with a salt-spoon

+					or a soup-ladle.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Place the whole in a saucepan, and remove it to a sunny place,

+					&#8212;say the roof of the house, if free from sparrows or other birds,&#8212;

+					and leave it there for about a week.

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page158" id="page158" title="158"></a>

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					At the end of that time add a little lavender, some oil of almonds,

+					and a few herring-bones; and then cover the whole with

+					4 gallons of clarified Crumbobblious sauce, when it will be ready

+					for use.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Cut it into the shape of ordinary cutlets, and serve up in a clean

+					table-cloth or dinner-napkin.

+					</p>

+				</div>

+				<hr />

+				<div class="recipe" id="cook3">

+					<h4>TO MAKE GOSKY PATTIES.</h4>

+					<p>

+					Take a pig three or four years of age, and tie him by the off

+					hind-leg to a post. Place 5 pounds of currants, 3 of sugar, 2

+					pecks of peas, 18 roast chestnuts, a candle, and 6 bushels of turnips,

+					within his reach: if he eats these, constantly provide him

+					with more.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Then procure some cream, some slices of Cheshire cheese, 4

+					quires of foolscap paper, and a packet of black pins. Work the

+					whole into a paste, and spread it out to dry on a sheet of clean

+					brown waterproof linen.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					When the paste is perfectly dry, but not before, proceed to beat

+					the pig violently with the handle of a large broom. If he squeals,

+					beat him again.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Visit the paste and beat the pig alternately for some days, and

+					ascertain if, at the end of that period, the whole is about to turn

+					into Gosky Patties.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					If it does not then, it never will; and in that case the pig

+					may be let loose, and the whole process may be considered as

+					finished.

+					</p>

+				</div>

+			</div>

+

+			<div class="subbook" id="botany" align="center">

+			<hr />

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page159" id="page159" title="159"></a>

+				<h2>NONSENSE BOTANY.</h2>

+				<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#botany1_1">Baccopipia Gracilis</a> <a href="#botany1_2">Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia</a> <a href="#botany1_3">Cockatooca Superba</a> <a href="#botany1_4">Fishia Marina</a> <a href="#botany1_5">Guittara Pensilis</a> <a href="#botany1_6">Manypeeplia Upsidownia</a> <a href="#botany1_7">Phattfacia Stupenda</a> <a href="#botany1_8">Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis</a> <a href="#botany1_9">Plumbunnia Nutritiosa</a> <a href="#botany1_10">Pollybirdia Singularis</a>

+				</p>

+				<hr />

+				<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="20" border="0" class="botanygrid">

+					<tr>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page160" id="page160" title="160"></a>

+							<img src="images/176.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Baccopipia Gracilis." id="botany1_1" /><br />

+							Baccopipia Gracilis.

+						</td>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page161" id="page161" title="161"></a>

+							<img src="images/177.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia." id="botany1_2" /><br />

+							Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia.

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page162" id="page162" title="162"></a>

+							<img src="images/178.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Cockatooca Superba." id="botany1_3" /><br />

+							Cockatooca Superba.

+						</td>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page163" id="page163" title="163"></a>

+							<img src="images/179.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Fishia Marina." id="botany1_4" /><br />

+							Fishia Marina.

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page164" id="page164" title="164"></a>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<img src="images/180.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Guittara Pensilis." id="botany1_5" /><br />

+							Guittara Pensilis.

+						</td>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page165" id="page165" title="165"></a>

+							<img src="images/181.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Manypeeplia Upsidownia." id="botany1_6" /><br />

+							Manypeeplia Upsidownia.

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page166" id="page166" title="166"></a>

+							<img src="images/182.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Phattfacia Stupenda." id="botany1_7" /><br />

+							Phattfacia Stupenda.

+						</td>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page167" id="page167" title="167"></a>

+							<img src="images/183.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis." id="botany1_8" /><br />

+							Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis.

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page168" id="page168" title="168"></a>

+							<img src="images/184.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Plumbunnia Nutritiosa." id="botany1_9" /><br />

+							Plumbunnia Nutritiosa.

+						</td>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page169" id="page169" title="169"></a>

+							<img src="images/185.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Pollybirdia Singularis." id="botany1_10" /><br />

+							Pollybirdia Singularis.

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+				</table>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page170" id="page170" title="170"></a>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="subbook" id="alphabets">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page171" id="page171" title="171"></a>

+				<h2>NONSENSE ALPHABETS.</h2>

+				<p class="subbookmenu">

+				<a href="#alphabet1">No. 1</a> <a href="#alphabet2">No. 2</a> <a href="#alphabet3">No. 3</a>

+				</p>

+				<div class="chapter" id="alphabet1">

+				<hr />

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+						<tr>

+							<td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu">

+								<a href="#a1">a</a> <a href="#b1">b</a> <a href="#c1">c</a> <a href="#d1">d</a> <a href="#e1">e</a> <a href="#f1">f</a> <a href="#g1">g</a> <a href="#h1">h</a> <a href="#i1">i</a> <a href="#j1">j</a> <a href="#k1">k</a> <a href="#l1">l</a> <a href="#m1">m</a> <a href="#n1">n</a> <a href="#o1">o</a> <a href="#p1">p</a> <a href="#q1">q</a> <a href="#r1">r</a> <a href="#s1">s</a> <a href="#t1">t</a> <a href="#u1">u</a> <a href="#v1">v</a> <a href="#w1">w</a> <a href="#x1">x</a> <a href="#y1">y</a> <a href="#z1">z</a>

+								<hr />

+							</td>

+						</tr>

+						<tr>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="a1">A</p>

+							<img src="images/186.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="ant" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">A</span> was an ant<br />

+										Who seldom stood still,<br />

+										And who made a nice house<br />

+										In the side of a hill.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">a</p>

+							<p>Nice little ant!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="b1">B</p>

+							<img src="images/187.gif" alt="book" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">B</span> was a book<br />

+										With a binding of blue,<br />

+										And pictures and stories<br />

+										For me and for you.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">b</p>

+							<p>Nice little book!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="c1">C</p>

+							<img src="images/188.gif" alt="cat" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">C</span> was a cat<br />

+										Who ran after a rat;<br />

+										But his courage did fail<br />

+										When she seized on his tail.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">c</p>

+							<p>Crafty old cat!</p>

+

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="d1">D</p>

+							<img src="images/189.gif" alt="duck" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">D</span> was a duck<br />

+										With spots on his back,<br />

+										Who lived in the water,<br />

+										And always said "Quack!"</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">d</p>

+							<p>Dear little duck!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="e1">E</p>

+							<img src="images/190.gif" alt="elephant" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">E</span> was an elephant,<br />

+										Stately and wise:<br />

+										He had tusks and a trunk,<br />

+										And two queer little eyes.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">e</p>

+							<p>Oh, what funny small eyes!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="f1">F</p>

+							<img src="images/191.gif" alt="fish" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">F</span> was a fish<br />

+										Who was caught in a net;<br />

+										But he got out again,<br />

+										And is quite alive yet.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">f</p>

+							<p>Lively young fish!</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="g1">G</p>

+							<img src="images/192.gif" alt="goat" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+									<tr>

+										<td align="left"><p>

+											<span class="largecap">G</span> was a goat<br />

+											Who was spotted with brown:<br />

+											When he did not lie still<br />

+											He walked up and down.</p>

+										</td>

+									</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">g</p>

+							<p>Good little goat!</p>

+

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="h1">H</p>

+							<img src="images/193.gif" alt="hat" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">H</span> was a hat<br />

+										Which was all on one side;<br />

+										Its crown was too high,<br />

+										And its brim was too wide.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">h</p>

+							<p>Oh, what a hat!</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="i1">I</p>

+							<img src="images/194.gif" alt="ice" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">I</span> was some ice<br />

+										So white and so nice,<br />

+										But which nobody tasted;<br />

+										And so it was wasted.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">i</p>

+						<p>All that good ice!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="j1">J</p>

+							<img src="images/195.gif" alt="jackdaw" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+									<span class="largecap">J</span> was a jackdaw<br />

+									Who hopped up and down<br />

+									In the principal street<br />

+									Of a neighboring town.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">j</p>

+							<p>All through the town!</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="k1">K</p>

+							<img src="images/196.gif" alt="kite" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">K</span> was a kite<br />

+										Which flew out of sight,<br />

+										Above houses so high,<br />

+										Quite into the sky.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">k</p>

+							<p>Fly away, kite!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="l1">L</p>

+							<img src="images/197.gif" alt="light" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">L</span> was a light<br />

+										Which burned all the night,<br />

+										And lighted the gloom<br />

+										Of a very dark room.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">l</p>

+							<p>Useful nice light!</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="m1">M</p>

+							<img src="images/198.gif" alt="mill" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">M</span> was a mill<br />

+										Which stood on a hill,<br />

+										And turned round and round<br />

+										With a loud hummy sound.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">m</p>

+						<p>Useful old mill!</p>

+

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="n1">N</p>

+							<img src="images/199.gif" alt="net" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">N</span> was a net<br />

+										Which was thrown in the sea<br />

+										To catch fish for dinner<br />

+										For you and for me.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">n</p>

+							<p>Nice little net!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+

+							<p class="largeletter" id="o1">O</p>

+							<img src="images/200.gif" alt="orange" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">O</span> was an orange<br />

+										So yellow and round:<br />

+										When it fell off the tree,<br />

+										It fell down to the ground.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">o</p>

+							<p>Down to the ground!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="p1">P</p>

+							<img src="images/201.gif" alt="pig" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">P</span> was a pig,<br />

+										Who was not very big;<br />

+										But his tail was too curly,<br />

+										And that made him surly.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">p</p>

+							<p>Cross little pig!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="q1">Q</p>

+							<img src="images/202.gif" alt="quail" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Q</span> was a quail<br />

+										With a very short tail;<br />

+										And he fed upon corn<br />

+										In the evening and morn.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">q</p>

+							<p>Quaint little quail!</p>

+

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="r1">R</p>

+							<img src="images/203.gif" alt="rabbit" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">R</span> was a rabbit,<br />

+										Who had a bad habit<br />

+										Of eating the flowers<br />

+										In gardens and bowers.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">r</p>

+							<p>Naughty fat rabbit!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="s1">S</p>

+							<img src="images/204.gif" alt="sugar-tongs" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">S</span> was the sugar-tongs,<br />

+										Nippity-nee,<br />

+										To take up the sugar<br />

+										To put in our tea.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">s</p>

+							<p>Nippity-nee!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="t1">T</p>

+							<img src="images/205.gif" alt="tortoise" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+									<span class="largecap">T</span> was a tortoise,<br />

+									All yellow and black:<br />

+									He walked slowly away,<br />

+									And he never came back.</p>

+								</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">t</p>

+							<p>Torty never came back!</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="u1">U</p>

+							<img src="images/206.gif" alt="urn" class="alphaimage" />

+

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">U</span> was an urn<br />

+										All polished and bright,<br />

+										And full of hot water<br />

+										At noon and at night.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">u</p>

+							<p>Useful old urn!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="v1">V</p>

+							<img src="images/207.gif" alt="villa" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">V</span> was a villa<br />

+										Which stood on a hill,<br />

+										By the side of a river,<br />

+										And close to a mill.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">v</p>

+							<p>Nice little villa!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+

+							<p class="largeletter" id="w1">W</p>

+							<img src="images/208.gif" alt="whale" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">W</span> was a whale<br />

+										With a very long tail,<br />

+										Whose movements were frantic<br />

+										Across the Atlantic.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">w</p>

+							<p>Monstrous old whale!</p>

+

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="x1">X</p>

+							<img src="images/209.gif" alt="King Xerxes" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">X</span> was King Xerxes,<br />

+										Who, more than all Turks, is<br />

+										Renowned for his fashion<br />

+										Of fury and passion.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">x</p>

+							<p>Angry old Xerxes!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="y1">Y</p>

+							<img src="images/210.gif" alt="yew" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Y</span> was a yew,<br />

+										Which flourished and grew<br />

+										By a quiet abode<br />

+										Near the side of a road.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">y</p>

+							<p>Dark little yew!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="z1">Z</p>

+							<img src="images/211.gif" alt="zebra" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Z</span> was some zinc,<br />

+										So shiny and bright,<br />

+										Which caused you to wink<br />

+										In the sun's merry light.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">z</p>

+							<p>Beautiful zinc!</p>

+						</td>

+						</tr>

+				</table>

+				</div>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page193" id="page193" title="193"></a>

+

+				<div class="chapter" id="alphabet2">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+						<tr>

+							<td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu">

+								<hr />

+								<a href="#a2">a</a> <a href="#b2">b</a> <a href="#c2">c</a> <a href="#d2">d</a> <a href="#e2">e</a> <a href="#f2">f</a> <a href="#g2">g</a> <a href="#h2">h</a> <a href="#i2">i</a> <a href="#j2">j</a> <a href="#k2">k</a> <a href="#l2">l</a> <a href="#m2">m</a> <a href="#n2">n</a> <a href="#o2">o</a> <a href="#p2">p</a> <a href="#q2">q</a> <a href="#r2">r</a> <a href="#s2">s</a> <a href="#t2">t</a> <a href="#u2">u</a> <a href="#v2">v</a> <a href="#w2">w</a> <a href="#x2">x</a> <a href="#y2">y</a> <a href="#z2">z</a>

+								<hr />

+							</td>

+						</tr>

+						<tr>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="a2">A</p>

+							<img src="images/212.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="apple-pie" /><br />

+							<p class="smallletter">a</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td>

+										<p>

+										<span class="largecap">A</span> was once an apple-pie,<br />

+										<span class="i2">Pidy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Widy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Tidy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Pidy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Nice insidy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Apple-pie!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+

+						</td>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="b2">B</p>

+							<img src="images/213.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="bear" />

+							<p class="smallletter">b</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td>

+										<p>

+										<span class="largecap">B</span> was once a little bear,<br />

+										<span class="i2">Beary,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Wary,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Hairy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Beary,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Taky cary,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little bear!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="c2">C</p>

+							<img src="images/214.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="cake" />

+							<p class="smallletter">c</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td>

+										<p>

+										<span class="largecap">C</span> was once a little cake,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Caky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Baky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Maky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Caky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Taky caky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little cake!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="d2">D</p>

+							<img src="images/215.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="doll" />

+							<p class="smallletter">d</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td>

+										<p>

+										<span class="largecap">D</span> was once a little doll,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Dolly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Molly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Polly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Nolly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Nursy dolly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little doll!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="e2">E</p>

+							<img src="images/216.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="eel" />

+							<p class="smallletter">e</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td>

+										<p>

+										<span class="largecap">E</span> was once a little eel,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Eely,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Weely,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Peely,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Eely,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Twirly, tweely,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Little eel!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="f2">F</p>

+							<img src="images/217.gif" alt="fish" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">f</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">F</span> was once a little fish,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Fishy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Wishy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Squishy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Fishy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">In a dishy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little fish!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="g2">G</p>

+							<img src="images/218.gif" alt="goose" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">g</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">G</span> was once a little goose,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Goosy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Moosy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Boosey,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Goosey,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Waddly-woosy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little goose!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="h2">H</p>

+							<img src="images/219.gif" alt="hen" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">h</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">H</span> was once a little hen,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Henny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Chenny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Tenny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Henny.</span>

+										<span class="i2">Eggsy-any,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little hen?</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="i2">I</p>

+							<img src="images/220.gif" alt="ink" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">i</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">I</span> was once a bottle of ink<br />

+										<span class="i4">Inky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Dinky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Thinky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Inky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Blacky minky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Bottle of ink!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="j2">J</p>

+							<img src="images/221.gif" alt="ink" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">j</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">J</span> was once a jar of jam,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Jammy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Mammy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Clammy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Jammy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Sweety, swammy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Jar of jam!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="k2">K</p>

+							<img src="images/222.gif" alt="kite" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">k</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">K</span> was once a little kite,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Kity,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Whity,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Flighty,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Kity,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Out of sighty,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Little kite!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="l2">L</p>

+							<img src="images/223.gif" alt="lark" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">l</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">L</span> was once a little lark,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Larky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Marky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Harky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Larky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">In the parky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little lark!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="m2">M</p>

+							<img src="images/224.gif" alt="mouse" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">m</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">M</span> was once a little mouse,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Mousy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Bousy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Sousy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Mousy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">In the housy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little mouse!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="n2">N</p>

+							<img src="images/225.gif" alt="needle" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">n</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">N</span> was once a little needle,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Needly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Tweedly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Threedly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Needly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Wisky, wheedly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little needle!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="o2">O</p>

+							<img src="images/226.gif" alt="owl" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">o</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">O</span> was once a little owl,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Owly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Prowly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Howly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Owly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Browny fowly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little owl!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="p2">P</p>

+							<img src="images/227.gif" alt="pump" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">p</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">P</span> was once a little pump,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Pumpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Slumpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Flumpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Pumpy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Dumpy, thumpy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Little pump!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="q2">Q</p>

+							<img src="images/228.gif" alt="quail" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">q</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Q</span> was once a little quail,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Quaily,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Faily,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Daily,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Quaily,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Stumpy-taily,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little quail!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="r2">R</p>

+							<img src="images/229.gif" alt="rose" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">r</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">R</span> was once a little rose,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Rosy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Posy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Nosy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Rosy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Blows-y, grows-y,</span>

+										<span class="i3">Little rose!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="s2">S</p>

+							<img src="images/230.gif" alt="shrimp" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">s</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">S</span> was once a little shrimp,

+										<span class="i6">Shrimpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Nimpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Flimpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Shrimpy.</span>

+										<span class="i3">Jumpy, jimpy,</span>

+										<span class="i3">Little shrimp!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="t2">T</p>

+							<img src="images/231.gif" alt="thrush" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">t</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">T</span> was once a little thrush,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Thrushy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Hushy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Bushy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Thrushy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Flitty, flushy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little thrush!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="u2">U</p>

+							<img src="images/232.gif" alt="urn" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">u</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">U</span> was once a little urn,<br />

+										<span class="i7">Urny,</span>

+										<span class="i7">Burny,</span>

+										<span class="i7">Turny,</span>

+										<span class="i7">Urny,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Bubbly, burny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Little urn!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="v2">V</p>

+							<img src="images/233.gif" alt="vine" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">v</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">V</span> was once a little vine,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Viny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Winy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Twiny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Viny,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Twisty-twiny,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little vine!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="w2">W</p>

+							<img src="images/234.gif" alt="whale" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">w</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">W</span> was once a whale,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Whaly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Scaly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Shaly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Whaly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Tumbly-taily,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Mighty whale!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="x2">X</p>

+							<img src="images/235.gif" alt="xerxes" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">x</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">X</span> was once a great king Xerxes,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Xerxy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Perxy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Turxy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Xerxy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Linxy, lurxy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Great King Xerxes!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="y2">Y</p>

+							<img src="images/236.gif" alt="yew" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">y</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Y</span> was once a little yew,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Yewdy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Fewdy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Crudy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Yewdy,</span>

+										<span class="i1">Growdy, grewdy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little yew!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="z2">Z</p>

+							<img src="images/237.gif" alt="zinc" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">z</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Z</span> was once a piece of zinc,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Tinky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Winky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Blinky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Tinky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Tinkly minky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Piece of zinc!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+				</table>

+			</div>

+		<hr />

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page215" id="page215" title="215"></a>

+		<div class="chapter" id="alphabet3">

+			<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="3" class="alphabetmenu">

+						<hr />

+						<a href="#a3">a</a> <a href="#b3">b</a> <a href="#c3">c</a> <a href="#d3">d</a> <a href="#e3">e</a> <a href="#f3">f</a> <a href="#g3">g</a> <a href="#h3">h</a> <a href="#i3">i</a> <a href="#j3">j</a> <a href="#k3">k</a> <a href="#l3">l</a> <a href="#m3">m</a> <a href="#n3">n</a> <a href="#o3">o</a> <a href="#p3">p</a> <a href="#q3">q</a> <a href="#r3">r</a> <a href="#s3">s</a> <a href="#t3">t</a> <a href="#u3">u</a> <a href="#v3">v</a> <a href="#w3">w</a> <a href="#x3">x</a> <a href="#y3">y</a> <a href="#z3">z</a>

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="a3">A</p>

+						<img src="images/238.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="ape" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">A</span> was an ape,<br />

+									Who stole some white tape,<br />

+									And tied up his toes<br />

+									In four beautiful bows.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">a!</p>

+						<p>Funny old Ape!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="b3">B</p>

+						<img src="images/239.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="bat" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">B</span> was a bat,<br />

+									Who slept all the day,<br />

+									And fluttered about<br />

+									When the sun went away.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">b!</p>

+						<p>Brown little bat!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="c3">C</p>

+						<img src="images/240.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="camel" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">C</span> was a camel:<br />

+									You rode on his hump;<br />

+									And if you fell off,<br />

+									You came down such a bump!

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">c!</p>

+						<p>What a high camel!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="d3">D</p>

+						<img src="images/241.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="dove" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">D</span> was a dove,<br />

+									Who lived in a wood,<br />

+									With such pretty soft wings,<br />

+									And so gentle and good!

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">d!</p>

+						<p>Dear little Dove!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="e3">E</p>

+						<img src="images/242.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="eagle" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">E</span> was an eagle,<br />

+									Who sat on the rocks,<br />

+									And looked down on the fields<br />

+									And the-far-away flocks.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">e!</p>

+						<p>Beautiful eagle!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="f3">F</p>

+						<img src="images/243.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="fan" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">F</span> was a fan<br />

+									Made of beautiful stuff;<br />

+									And when it was used,<br />

+									It went puffy-puff-puff!

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">f!</p>

+						<p>Nice little fan.</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="g3">G</p>

+						<img src="images/244.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="gooseberry" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">G</span> was a gooseberry,<br />

+									Perfectly red;<br />

+									To be made into jam,<br />

+									And eaten with bread.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">g!</p>

+						<p>Gooseberry red!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="h3">H</p>

+						<img src="images/245.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="heron" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">H</span> was a heron,<br />

+									Who stood in a stream:<br />

+									The length of his neck<br />

+									And his legs was extreme.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">h!</p>

+						<p>Long-legged Heron!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="i3">I</p>

+						<img src="images/246.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="inkstand" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">I</span> was an inkstand,<br />

+									Which stood on a table,<br />

+									With a nice pen to write with<br />

+									When we are able.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">i!</p>

+						<p>Neat little inkstand!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="j3">J</p>

+						<img src="images/247.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="jug" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">J</span> was a jug,<br />

+									So pretty and white,<br />

+									With fresh water in it<br />

+									At morning and night.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">j!</p>

+						<p>Nice little jug!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="k3">K</p>

+						<img src="images/248.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="kingfisher" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">K</span> was a kingfisher:<br />

+									Quickly he flew,<br />

+									So bright and so pretty!&#8212;<br />

+									Green, purple, and blue.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">k!</p>

+						<p>Kingfisher, blue!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="l3">L</p>

+						<img src="images/249.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="lily" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">L</span> was a lily,<br />

+									So white and so sweet!<br />

+									To see it and smell it<br />

+									Was quite a nice treat.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">l!</p>

+						<p>Beautiful Lily!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="m3">M</p>

+						<img src="images/250.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="man" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">M</span> was a man,<br />

+									Who walked round and round;<br />

+									And he wore a long coat<br />

+									That came down to the ground.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">m!</p>

+						<p>Funny old Man!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="n3">N</p>

+						<img src="images/251.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="nut" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">N</span> was a nut<br />

+									So smooth and so brown!<br />

+									And when it was ripe,<br />

+									It fell tumble-dum-down.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">n!</p>

+						<p>Nice little Nut!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="o3">O</p>

+						<img src="images/252.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="oyster" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">O</span> was an oyster,<br />

+									Who lived in his shell:<br />

+									If you let him alone,<br />

+									He felt perfectly well.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">o!</p>

+						<p>Open-mouthed oyster!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="p3">P</p>

+						<img src="images/253.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="polly" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">P</span> was a polly,<br />

+									All red, blue, and green,&#8212;<br />

+									The most beautiful polly<br />

+									That ever was seen.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">p!</p>

+						<p>Poor little Polly!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="q3">Q</p>

+						<img src="images/254.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="quill" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Q</span> was a quill<br />

+									Made into a pen;<br />

+									But I do not know where,<br />

+									And I cannot say when.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">q!</p>

+						<p>Nice little Quill!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="r3">R</p>

+						<img src="images/255.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="rattlesnake" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">R</span> was a rattlesnake,<br />

+									Rolled up so tight,<br />

+									Those who saw him ran quickly,<br />

+									For fear he should bite.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">r!</p>

+						<p>Rattlesnake bite!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="s3">S</p>

+						<img src="images/256.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="screw" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">S</span> was a screw<br />

+									To screw down a box;<br />

+									And then it was fastened<br />

+									Without any locks.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">s!</p>

+						<p>Valuable screw!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="t3">T</p>

+						<img src="images/257.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="thimble" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">T</span> was a thimble,<br />

+									Of silver so bright!<br />

+									When placed on the finger,<br />

+									It fitted so tight!

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">t!</p>

+						<p>Nice little thimble!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="u3">U</p>

+						<img src="images/258.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="upper-coat" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">U</span> was an upper-coat,<br />

+									Woolly and warm,<br />

+									To wear over all<br />

+									In the snow or the storm.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">u!</p>

+						<p>What a nice upper-coat!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="v3">V</p>

+						<img src="images/259.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="veil" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">V</span> was a veil<br />

+									With a border upon it,<br />

+									And a ribbon to tie it<br />

+									All round a pink bonnet.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">v!</p>

+						<p>Pretty green Veil!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="w3">W</p>

+						<img src="images/260.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="watch" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">W</span> was a watch,<br />

+									Where, in letters of gold,<br />

+									The hour of the day<br />

+									You might always behold.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">w!</p>

+						<p>Beautiful watch!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="x3">X</p>

+						<img src="images/261.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="xerxes" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">X</span> was King Xerxes,<br />

+									Who wore on his head A mighty large turban,<br />

+									Green, yellow, and red.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">x!</p>

+						<p>Look at King Xerxes!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="y3">Y</p>

+						<img src="images/262.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="yak" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Y</span> was a yak,<br />

+									From the land of Thibet:<br />

+									Except his white tail,<br />

+									He was all black as jet.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">y!</p>

+						<p>Look at the Yak!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="z3">Z</p>

+						<img src="images/263.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="zebra" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Z</span> was a zebra,<br />

+									All striped white and black;<br />

+									And if he were tame,<br />

+									You might ride on his back.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">z!</p>

+						<p>Pretty striped Zebra!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+			</table>

+		</div>

+	</div>

+</div>

+<div class="book" id="book3">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page238" id="page238" title="238"></a>

+	<div class="thecover" id="book3cover">

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" class="tablecover" border="0" cellpadding="10" cellspacing="0">

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" valign="top">

+					<h1>

+					<span class="bigger">More Nonsense</span><br />Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc.

+					</h1>

+					<h2>

+					By Edward Lear.

+					</h2>

+					<img src="images/264.gif" alt="More Nonsense" />

+					<h4>1894</h4>

+					<p align="center">Originally published 1872</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" valign="middle">

+					<p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book3.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book3_t.gif" alt="More Nonsense Pictures, etc." /></a><br />

+					<b>1894 Cover</b><br />Click for larger version.

+					</p>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page239" id="page239" title="239"></a>

+					<ul class="tableofcontents">

+						<li><a href="#introduction3">Introduction</a></li>

+						<li><a href="#botany3">Nonsense Botany</a></li>

+						<li><a href="#rhymes2">One Hundred Nonsense Pictures And Rhymes</a></li>

+						<li><a href="#alphabet4">Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes And Pictures</a></li>

+					</ul>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page240" id="page240" title="240"></a>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div id="introduction3">

+		<h2>

+		INTRODUCTION.

+		</h2>

+		<hr />

+		<img src="images/265.gif" alt="Edward Lear Self-Portrait" align="right" hspace="20" vspace="20" /><p>

+		In offering this little book&#8212;the third of its kind&#8212;to

+		the public, I am glad to take the opportunity

+		of recording the pleasure I have received at the appreciation

+		its predecessors have met with, as attested

+		by their wide circulation, and by the universally kind

+		notices of them from the Press. To have been the

+		means of administering innocent mirth to thousands,

+		may surely be a just motive for satisfaction, and an

+		excuse for grateful expression.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		At the same time, I am desirous of adding a few

+		words as to the history of the two previously published

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page241" id="page241" title="241"></a>

+		volumes, and more particularly of the first or

+		original "Book of Nonsense," relating to which many

+		absurd reports have crept into circulation, such as that

+		it was the composition of the late Lord Brougham, the

+		late Earl of Derby, etc.; that the rhymes and pictures

+		are by different persons; or that the whole have a

+		symbolical meaning, etc.; whereas, every one of the

+		Rhymes was composed by myself, and every one of

+		the Illustrations drawn by my own hand at the time

+		the verses were made. Moreover, in no portion of

+		these Nonsense drawings have I ever allowed any caricature

+		of private or public persons to appear, and

+		throughout, more care than might be supposed has

+		been given to make the subjects incapable of misinterpretation:

+		"Nonsense," pure and absolute, having

+		been my aim throughout.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		As for the persistently absurd report of the late Earl

+		of Derby being the author of the "First Book of Nonsense,"

+		I may relate an incident which occurred to me

+		four summers ago, the first that gave me any insight

+		into the origin of the rumor.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		I was on my way from London to Guildford, in a

+		railway carriage, containing, besides myself, one passenger,

+		an elderly gentleman: presently, however, two

+		ladies entered, accompanied by two little boys. These,

+		who had just had a copy of the "Book of Nonsense"

+		given them, were loud in their delight, and by degrees

+		infected the whole party with their mirth.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"How grateful," said the old gentleman to the two

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page242" id="page242" title="242"></a>

+		ladies, "all children, and parents too, ought to be to

+		the statesman who has given his time to composing

+		that charming book!"

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		(The ladies looked puzzled, as indeed was I, the

+		author.)

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"Do you not know who is the writer of it?" asked

+		the gentleman.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"The name is 'Edward Lear,'" said one of the

+		ladies.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"Ah!" said the first speaker, "so it is printed; but

+		that is only a whim of the real author, the Earl of

+		Derby. 'Edward' is his Christian name, and, as you

+		may see, LEAR is only EARL transposed."

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"But," said the lady, doubtingly, "here is a dedication

+		to the great-grandchildren, grand-nephews, and

+		grand-nieces of Edward, thirteenth Earl of Derby, by

+		the author, Edward Lear."

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"That," replied the other, "is simply a piece of

+		mystification; I am in a position to know that the

+		whole book was composed and illustrated by Lord

+		Derby himself. In fact, there is no such a person at

+		all as Edward Lear."

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"Yet," said the other lady, "some friends of mine

+		tell me they know Mr. Lear."

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"Quite a mistake! completely a mistake!" said the

+		old gentleman, becoming rather angry at the contradiction;

+		"I am well aware of what I am saying: I

+		can inform you, no such a person as 'Edward Lear'

+		exists!"

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page243" id="page243" title="243"></a>

+

+		Hitherto I had kept silence; but as my hat was, as

+		well as my handkerchief and stick, largely marked inside

+		with my name, and as I happened to have in my

+		pocket several letters addressed to me, the temptation

+		was too great to resist; so, flashing all these articles at

+		once on my would-be extinguisher's attention, I speedily

+		reduced him to silence.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		The second volume of Nonsense, commencing with

+		the verses, "The Owl and the Pussy-Cat," was written

+		at different times, and for different sets of children:

+		the whole being collected in the course of last year,

+		were then illustrated, and published in a single volume,

+		by Mr. R.J. Bush, of 32 Charing Cross.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		The contents of the third or present volume were

+		made also at different intervals in the last two years.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		Long years ago, in days when much of my time

+		was passed in a country house, where children and

+		mirth abounded, the lines beginning, "There was an

+		old man of Tobago," were suggested to me by a valued

+		friend, as a form of verse lending itself to limitless

+		variety for rhymes and pictures; and thenceforth the

+		greater part of the original drawings and verses for

+		the first "Book of Nonsense" were struck off with

+		a pen, no assistance ever having been given me in any

+		way but that of uproarious delight and welcome at the

+		appearance of every new absurdity.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		Most of these Drawings and Rhymes were transferred

+		to lithographic stones in the year 1846, and

+		were then first published by Mr. Thomas McLean, of

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page244" id="page244" title="244"></a>

+		the Haymarket. But that edition having been soon

+		exhausted, and the call for the "Book of Nonsense"

+		continuing, I added a considerable number of subjects

+		to those previously-published, and having caused the

+		whole to be carefully reproduced in woodcuts by

+		Messrs. Dalzell, I disposed of the copyright to Messrs.

+		Routledge and Warne, by whom the volume was

+		published in 1843.

+		</p>

+		<p align="right">

+		<b>EDWARD LEAR</b>.

+		</p>

+		<p align="left" class="smaller">

+		VILLA EMILY, SAN REMO,<br />

+		<i>August</i>, 1871.

+		</p>

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="subbook" id="botany2">

+		<h2>NONSENSE BOTANY.</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu">

+		<a href="#botany2_1">Barkia Howlaloudia</a> <a href="#botany2_2">Enkoopia Chickabiddia</a> <a href="#botany2_3">Jinglia Tinkettlia</a> <a href="#botany2_4">Nasticreechia Krorluppia</a> <a href="#botany2_5">Arthbroomia Rigida</a> <a href="#botany2_6">Sophtsluggia Glutinosa</a> <a href="#botany2_7">Minspysia Deliciosa</a> <a href="#botany2_8">Shoebootia Utilis</a> <a href="#botany2_9">Stunnia Dinnerbellia</a> <a href="#botany2_10">Tickia Orologica</a> <a href="#botany2_11">Washtubbia Circularis</a> <a href="#botany2_12">Tigerlillia Terribilis</a>

+		</p>

+		<hr />

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="20px" border="0" class="botanygrid">

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page245" id="page245" title="245"></a>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page246" id="page246" title="246"></a>

+					<img src="images/266.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Barkia Howlaloudia." id="botany2_1"/><br />

+					Barkia Howlaloudia.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page247" id="page247" title="247"></a>

+					<img src="images/267.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Enkoopia Chickabiddia." id="botany2_2" /><br />

+					Enkoopia Chickabiddia.

+				</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page248" id="page248" title="248"></a>

+					<img src="images/268.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Jinglia Tinkettlia" id="botany2_3" /><br />

+					Jinglia Tinkettlia.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page249" id="page249" title="249"></a>

+					<img src="images/269.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Nasticreechia Krorluppia." id="botany2_4" /><br />

+					Nasticreechia Krorluppia.

+				</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page250" id="page250" title="250"></a>

+					<img src="images/270.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Arthbroomia Rigida." id="botany2_5" /><br />

+					Arthbroomia Rigida.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page251" id="page251" title="251"></a>

+					<img src="images/271.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Sophtsluggia Glutinosa." id="botany2_6" /><br />

+					Sophtsluggia Glutinosa.

+				</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page252" id="page252" title="252"></a>

+					<img src="images/272.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Minspysia Deliciosa." id="botany2_7" /><br />

+					Minspysia Deliciosa.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page253" id="page253" title="253"></a>

+					<img src="images/273.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Shoebootia Utilis." id="botany2_8" /><br />

+					Shoebootia Utilis.

+				</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page254" id="page254" title="254"></a>

+					<img src="images/274.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Stunnia Dinnerbellia." id="botany2_9" /><br />

+					Stunnia Dinnerbellia.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page255" id="page255" title="255"></a>

+					<img src="images/275.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Tickia Orologica." id="botany2_10" /><br />

+					Tickia Orologica.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page256" id="page256" title="256"></a>

+					<img src="images/276.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Washtubbia Circularis." id="botany2_11" /><br />

+					Washtubbia Circularis.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page257" id="page257" title="257"></a>

+					<img src="images/277.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Tigerlillia Terribilis." id="botany2_12" /><br />

+					Tigerlillia Terribilis.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="subbook" id="rhymes2">

+		<h2>

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page258" id="page258" title="258"></a>

+		ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.

+		</h2>

+		<p class="rhymemenu"><a href="#rhyme2_1">1</a> <a href="#rhyme2_2">2</a> <a href="#rhyme2_3">3</a> <a href="#rhyme2_4">4</a> <a href="#rhyme2_5">5</a> <a href="#rhyme2_6">6</a> <a href="#rhyme2_7">7</a> <a href="#rhyme2_8">8</a> <a href="#rhyme2_9">9</a> <a href="#rhyme2_10">10</a> <a href="#rhyme2_11">11</a> <a href="#rhyme2_12">12</a> <a href="#rhyme2_13">13</a> <a href="#rhyme2_14">14</a> <a href="#rhyme2_15">15</a> <a href="#rhyme2_16">16</a> <a href="#rhyme2_17">17</a> <a href="#rhyme2_18">18</a> <a href="#rhyme2_19">19</a> <a href="#rhyme2_20">20</a> <a href="#rhyme2_21">21</a> <a href="#rhyme2_22">22</a> <a href="#rhyme2_23">23</a> <a href="#rhyme2_24">24</a> <a href="#rhyme2_25">25</a> <a href="#rhyme2_26">26</a> <a href="#rhyme2_27">27</a> <a href="#rhyme2_28">28</a> <a href="#rhyme2_29">29</a> <a href="#rhyme2_30">30</a> <a href="#rhyme2_31">31</a> <a href="#rhyme2_32">32</a> <a href="#rhyme2_33">33</a> <a href="#rhyme2_34">34</a> <a href="#rhyme2_35">35</a> <a href="#rhyme2_36">36</a> <a href="#rhyme2_37">37</a> <a href="#rhyme2_38">38</a> <a href="#rhyme2_39">39</a> <a href="#rhyme2_40">40</a> <a href="#rhyme2_41">41</a> <a href="#rhyme2_42">42</a> <a href="#rhyme2_43">43</a> <a href="#rhyme2_44">44</a> <a href="#rhyme2_45">45</a> <a href="#rhyme2_46">46</a> <a href="#rhyme2_47">47</a> <a href="#rhyme2_48">48</a> <a href="#rhyme2_49">49</a> <a href="#rhyme2_50">50</a> <a href="#rhyme2_51">51</a> <a href="#rhyme2_52">52</a> <a href="#rhyme2_53">53</a> <a href="#rhyme2_54">54</a> <a href="#rhyme2_55">55</a> <a href="#rhyme2_56">56</a> <a href="#rhyme2_57">57</a> <a href="#rhyme2_58">58</a> <a href="#rhyme2_59">59</a> <a href="#rhyme2_60">60</a> <a href="#rhyme2_61">61</a> <a href="#rhyme2_62">62</a> <a href="#rhyme2_63">63</a> <a href="#rhyme2_64">64</a> <a href="#rhyme2_65">65</a> <a href="#rhyme2_66">66</a> <a href="#rhyme2_67">67</a> <a href="#rhyme2_68">68</a> <a href="#rhyme2_69">69</a> <a href="#rhyme2_70">70</a> <a href="#rhyme2_71">71</a> <a href="#rhyme2_72">72</a> <a href="#rhyme2_73">73</a> <a href="#rhyme2_74">74</a> <a href="#rhyme2_75">75</a> <a href="#rhyme2_76">76</a> <a href="#rhyme2_77">77</a> <a href="#rhyme2_78">78</a> <a href="#rhyme2_79">79</a> <a href="#rhyme2_80">80</a> <a href="#rhyme2_81">81</a> <a href="#rhyme2_82">82</a> <a href="#rhyme2_83">83</a> <a href="#rhyme2_84">84</a> <a href="#rhyme2_85">85</a> <a href="#rhyme2_86">86</a> <a href="#rhyme2_87">87</a> <a href="#rhyme2_88">88</a> <a href="#rhyme2_89">89</a> <a href="#rhyme2_90">90</a> <a href="#rhyme2_91">91</a> <a href="#rhyme2_92">92</a> <a href="#rhyme2_93">93</a> <a href="#rhyme2_94">94</a> <a href="#rhyme2_95">95</a> <a href="#rhyme2_96">96</a> <a href="#rhyme2_97">97</a> <a href="#rhyme2_98">98</a> <a href="#rhyme2_99">99</a> <a href="#rhyme2_100">100</a>

+		</p>

+		<hr />

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" class="rhymegrid" width="100%">

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="top" align="center" width="50%">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0" width="370">

+						<tr>

+							<td>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_1">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page259" id="page259" title="259"></a>

+								<img src="images/278.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person of Bantry,<br />

+								Who frequently slept in the pantry;<br />

+								When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,<br />

+								That judicious young person of Bantry.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_2">

+								<img src="images/279.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man at a Junction,<br />

+								Whose feelings were wrung with compunction<br />

+								When they said, "The Train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How forlorn!"<br />

+								But remained on the rails of the Junction.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_3">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page260" id="page260" title="260"></a>

+								<img src="images/280.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Minety,<br />

+								Who purchased five hundred and ninety<br />

+								Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares<br />

+								At the heads of the people of Minety.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_4">

+								<img src="images/281.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Thermopylae,<br />

+								Who never did anything properly;<br />

+								But they said, "If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,<br />

+								You shall never remain in Thermopylae."

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_5">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page261" id="page261" title="261"></a>

+								<img src="images/282.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Deal,<br />

+								Who in walking used only his heel;<br />

+								When they said, "Tell us why?" he made no reply,<br />

+								That mysterious old person of Deal.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_6">

+								<img src="images/283.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man on the Humber,<br />

+								Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;<br />

+								When he said, "It's enough!" they only said, "Stuff!<br />

+								You amazing old man on the Humber!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_7">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page262" id="page262" title="262"></a>

+								<img src="images/284.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man in a barge,<br />

+								Whose nose was exceedingly large;<br />

+								But in fishing by night, it supported a light,<br />

+								Which helped that old man in a barge.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_8">

+								<img src="images/285.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Dunrose;<br />

+								A parrot seized hold of his nose.<br />

+								When he grew melancholy, they said, "His name's Polly,"<br />

+								Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_9">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page263" id="page263" title="263"></a>

+								<img src="images/286.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Toulouse<br />

+								Who purchased a new pair of shoes;<br />

+								When they asked, "Are they pleasant?" he said, "Not at present!"<br />

+								That turbid old man of Toulouse.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_10">

+								<img src="images/287.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bree,<br />

+								Who frequented the depths of the sea;<br />

+								She nurs'd the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,<br />

+								And swam back again into Bree.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_11">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page264" id="page264" title="264"></a>

+								<img src="images/288.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bromley,<br />

+								Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;<br />

+								He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,<br />

+								That unpleasing old person of Bromley.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_12">

+								<img src="images/289.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Shields,<br />

+								Who frequented the vallies and fields;<br />

+								All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,<br />

+								Followed after that person of Shields.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_13">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page265" id="page265" title="265"></a>

+								<img src="images/290.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Dunluce,<br />

+								Who went out to sea on a goose:<br />

+								When he'd gone out a mile, he observ'd with a smile,<br />

+								"It is time to return to Dunluce."

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_14">

+								<img src="images/291.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Dee-side<br />

+								Whose hat was exceedingly wide,<br />

+								But he said, "Do not fail, if it happen to hail,<br />

+								To come under my hat at Dee-side!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_15">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page266" id="page266" title="266"></a>

+								<img src="images/292.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person in black,<br />

+								A Grasshopper jumped on his back;<br />

+								When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,<br />

+								That helpless old person in black.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_16">

+								<img src="images/293.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of the Dargle<br />

+								Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;<br />

+								For he said, "I'll sit still, and will roll them down hill,<br />

+								For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_17">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page267" id="page267" title="267"></a>

+								<img src="images/294.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Pinner,<br />

+								As thin as a lath, if not thinner;<br />

+								They dressed him in white, and roll'd him up tight,<br />

+								That elastic old person of Pinner.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_18">

+								<img src="images/295.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of China,<br />

+								Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,<br />

+								Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,<br />

+								And all of them settled in China.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_19">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page268" id="page268" title="268"></a>

+								<img src="images/296.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man in a Marsh,<br />

+								Whose manners were futile and harsh;<br />

+								He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,<br />

+								That instructive old man in a Marsh.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_20">

+								<img src="images/297.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Brill,<br />

+								Who purchased a shirt with a frill;<br />

+								But they said, "Don't you wish, you mayn't look like a fish,<br />

+								You obsequious old person of Brill?"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_21">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page269" id="page269" title="269"></a>

+								<img src="images/298.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Wick,<br />

+								Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;<br />

+								Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he said nothing more,<br />

+								That laconic old person of Wick.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_22">

+								<img src="images/299.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man at a Station,<br />

+								Who made a promiscuous oration;<br />

+								But they said, "Take some snuff!&#8212;You have talk'd quite enough,<br />

+								You afflicting old man at a Station!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_23">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page270" id="page270" title="270"></a>

+								<img src="images/300.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Three Bridges,<br />

+								Whose mind was distracted by midges,<br />

+								He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,<br />

+								Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_24">

+								<img src="images/301.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Hong Kong,<br />

+								Who never did anything wrong;<br />

+								He lay on his back, with his head in a sack,<br />

+								That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_25">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page271" id="page271" title="271"></a>

+								<img src="images/302.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person in green,<br />

+								Who seldom was fit to be seen;<br />

+								She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all,<br />

+								Which enveloped that person in green.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_26">

+								<img src="images/303.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Fife,<br />

+								Who was greatly disgusted with life;<br />

+								They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,<br />

+								Which cured that old person of Fife.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_27">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page272" id="page272" title="272"></a>

+								<img src="images/304.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man who screamed out<br />

+								Whenever they knocked him about:<br />

+								So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,<br />

+								And continued to knock him about.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_28">

+								<img src="images/305.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young lady in white,<br />

+								Who looked out at the depths of the night;<br />

+								But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,<br />

+								And oppressed that young lady in white.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_29">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page273" id="page273" title="273"></a>

+								<img src="images/306.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Slough,<br />

+								Who danced at the end of a bough;<br />

+								But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,<br />

+								You imprudent old person of Slough."

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_30">

+								<img src="images/307.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Down,<br />

+								Whose face was adorned with a frown;<br />

+								When he opened the door, for one minute or more,<br />

+								He alarmed all the people of Down.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_31">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page274" id="page274" title="274"></a>

+								<img src="images/308.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person in red,<br />

+								Who carefully covered her head,<br />

+								With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather,<br />

+								Besides some long ribands of red.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_32">

+								<img src="images/309.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Hove,<br />

+								Who frequented the depths of a grove;<br />

+								Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,<br />

+								That tranquil old person of Hove.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_33">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page275" id="page275" title="275"></a>

+								<img src="images/310.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person in pink,<br />

+								Who called out for something to drink;<br />

+								But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water!"<br />

+								Which vexed that young person in pink.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_34">

+								<img src="images/311.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old lady of France,<br />

+								Who taught little ducklings to dance;<br />

+								When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they only said, "Quack!"<br />

+								Which grieved that old lady of France.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_35">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page276" id="page276" title="276"></a>

+								<img src="images/312.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Putney,<br />

+								Whose food was roast spiders and chutney,<br />

+								Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea,<br />

+								That romantic old person of Putney.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_36">

+								<img src="images/313.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Loo,<br />

+								Who said, "What on earth shall I do?"<br />

+								When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay,<br />

+								That vexatious old person of Loo.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_37">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page277" id="page277" title="277"></a>

+								<img src="images/314.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Woking,<br />

+								Whose mind was perverse and provoking;<br />

+								He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail,<br />

+								That illusive old person of Woking.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_38">

+								<img src="images/315.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Dean<br />

+								Who dined on one pea, and one bean;<br />

+								For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"<br />

+								That cautious old person of Dean.<br />

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_39">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page278" id="page278" title="278"></a>

+								<img src="images/316.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young lady in blue,<br />

+								Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?"<br />

+								When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!"<br />

+								That ungracious young lady in blue.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_40">

+								<img src="images/317.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old Man in a Garden,<br />

+								Who always begged every one's pardon;<br />

+								When they asked him, "What for?" he replied, "You're a bore!<br />

+								And I trust you'll go out of my garden."<br />

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_41">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page279" id="page279" title="279"></a>

+								<img src="images/318.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Pisa,<br />

+								Whose daughters did nothing to please her;<br />

+								She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day,<br />

+								Round the walls of the city of Pisa.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_42">

+								<img src="images/319.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Florence,<br />

+								Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;<br />

+								He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,<br />

+								Which choked that old person of Florence.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_43">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page280" id="page280" title="280"></a>

+								<img src="images/320.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Sheen,<br />

+								Whose expression was calm and serene;<br />

+								He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,<br />

+								That placid old person of Sheen.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_44">

+								<img src="images/321.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Ware,<br />

+								Who rode on the back of a bear;<br />

+								When they ask'd, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!<br />

+								He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_45">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page281" id="page281" title="281"></a>

+								<img src="images/322.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person of Janina,<br />

+								Whose uncle was always a fanning her;<br />

+								When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said,<br />

+								"You propitious old person of Janina!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_46">

+								<img src="images/323.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Cashmere,<br />

+								Whose movements were scroobious and queer;<br />

+								Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,<br />

+								And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_47">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page282" id="page282" title="282"></a>

+								<img src="images/324.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Cassel,<br />

+								Whose nose finished off in a tassel;<br />

+								But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell!"<br />

+								Which perplexed that old person of Cassel.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_48">

+								<img src="images/325.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Pett,<br />

+								Who was partly consumed by regret;<br />

+								He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,<br />

+								Which relieved that old person of Pett.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_49">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page283" id="page283" title="283"></a>

+								<img src="images/326.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Spithead,<br />

+								Who opened the window, and said,&#8212;<br />

+								"Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"<br />

+								That doubtful old man of Spithead.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_50">

+								<img src="images/327.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man on the Border,<br />

+								Who lived in the utmost disorder;<br />

+								He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,<br />

+								Which vexed all the folks on the Border.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_51">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page284" id="page284" title="284"></a>

+								<img src="images/328.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Dumbree,<br />

+								Who taught little owls to drink tea;<br />

+								For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"<br />

+								That amiable man of Dumbree.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_52">

+								<img src="images/329.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Filey,<br />

+								Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;<br />

+								He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,<br />

+								And delighted the people of Filey.

+								</p>

+							</td>

+						</tr>

+					</table>

+				</td>

+				<td valign="top" align="center" width="50%">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0">

+						<tr>

+							<td>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_53">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page285" id="page285" title="285"></a>

+								<img src="images/330.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man whose remorse<br />

+								Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;<br />

+								For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,<br />

+								It will certainly soothe your remorse!"<br />

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_54">

+								<img src="images/331.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Ibreem,<br />

+								Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;<br />

+								But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue,<br />

+								You disgusting old man of Ibreem!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_55">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page286" id="page286" title="286"></a>

+								<img src="images/332.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Wilts,<br />

+								Who constantly walked upon stilts;<br />

+								He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,<br />

+								That elegant person of Wilts.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_56">

+								<img src="images/333.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Grange,<br />

+								Whose manners were scroobious and strange;<br />

+								He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,<br />

+								That aquatic old person of Grange.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_57">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page287" id="page287" title="287"></a>

+								<img src="images/334.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Newry,<br />

+								Whose manners were tinctured with fury;<br />

+								He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,<br />

+								Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_58">

+								<img src="images/335.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Dumblane,<br />

+								Who greatly resembled a crane;<br />

+								But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,<br />

+								To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_59">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page288" id="page288" title="288"></a>

+								<img src="images/336.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Port Grigor,<br />

+								Whose actions were noted for vigour;<br />

+								He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,<br />

+								That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_60">

+								<img src="images/337.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of El Hums,<br />

+								Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,<br />

+								Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,<br />

+								In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_61">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page289" id="page289" title="289"></a>

+								<img src="images/338.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of West Dumpet,<br />

+								Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;<br />

+								When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,<br />

+								And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_62">

+								<img src="images/339.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Sark,<br />

+								Who made an unpleasant remark;<br />

+								But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be,<br />

+								You obnoxious old person of Sark!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_63">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page290" id="page290" title="290"></a>

+								<img src="images/340.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man whose despair<br />

+								Induced him to purchase a hare:<br />

+								Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away,<br />

+								Which partly assuaged his despair.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_64">

+								<img src="images/341.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Barnes,<br />

+								Whose garments were covered with darns;<br />

+								But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out,<br />

+								You luminous person of Barnes!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_65">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page291" id="page291" title="291"></a>

+								<img src="images/342.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Nice,<br />

+								Whose associates were usually Geese.<br />

+								They walked out together in all sorts of weather,<br />

+								That affable person of Nice!

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_66">

+								<img src="images/343.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young lady of Greenwich,<br />

+								Whose garments were border'd with Spinach;<br />

+								But a large spotty Calf bit her shawl quite in half,<br />

+								Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_67">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page292" id="page292" title="292"></a>

+								<img src="images/344.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Cannes,<br />

+								Who purchased three fowls and a fan;<br />

+								Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool<br />

+								She constantly fanned them at Cannes.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_68">

+								<img src="images/345.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Ickley,<br />

+								Who could not abide to ride quickly;<br />

+								He rode to Karnak on a tortoise's back,<br />

+								That moony old person of Ickley.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_69">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page293" id="page293" title="293"></a>

+								<img src="images/346.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Hyde,<br />

+								Who walked by the shore with his bride,<br />

+								Till a Crab who came near fill'd their bosoms with fear,<br />

+								And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_70">

+								<img src="images/347.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person in gray,<br />

+								Whose feelings were tinged with dismay;<br />

+								She purchased two parrots, and fed them with carrots,<br />

+								Which pleased that old person in gray.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_71">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page294" id="page294" title="294"></a>

+								<img src="images/348.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Ancona,<br />

+								Who found a small dog with no owner,<br />

+								Which he took up and down all the streets of the town,<br />

+								That anxious old man of Ancona.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_72">

+								<img src="images/349.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Sestri,<br />

+								Who sate himself down in the vestry;<br />

+								When they said, "You are wrong!" he merely said "Bong!"<br />

+								That repulsive old person of Sestri.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_73">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page295" id="page295" title="295"></a>

+								<img src="images/350.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Blythe,<br />

+								Who cut up his meat with a scythe;<br />

+								When they said, "Well! I never!" he cried, "Scythes for ever!"<br />

+								That lively old person of Blythe.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_74">

+								<img src="images/351.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person of Ayr,<br />

+								Whose head was remarkably square:<br />

+								On the top, in fine weather, she wore a gold feather;<br />

+								Which dazzled the people of Ayr.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_75">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page296" id="page296" title="296"></a>

+								<img src="images/352.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Rimini,<br />

+								Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!"<br />

+								When they said, "Please be still!" she ran down a hill,<br />

+								And was never more heard of at Rimini.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_76">

+								<img src="images/353.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There is a young lady, whose nose,<br />

+								Continually prospers and grows;<br />

+								When it grew out of sight, she exclaimed in a fright,<br />

+								"Oh! Farewell to the end of my nose!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_77">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page297" id="page297" title="297"></a>

+								<img src="images/354.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Ealing,<br />

+								Who was wholly devoid of good feeling;<br />

+								He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig,<br />

+								Which distressed all the people of Ealing.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_78">

+								<img src="images/355.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Thames Ditton,<br />

+								Who called out for something to sit on;<br />

+								But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon that,<br />

+								You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_79">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page298" id="page298" title="298"></a>

+								<img src="images/356.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bray,<br />

+								Who sang through the whole of the day<br />

+								To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs,<br />

+								That valuable person of Bray.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_80">

+								<img src="images/357.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person whose history<br />

+								Was always considered a mystery;<br />

+								She sate in a ditch, although no one knew which,<br />

+								And composed a small treatise on history.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_81">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page299" id="page299" title="299"></a>

+								<img src="images/358.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bow,<br />

+								Whom nobody happened to know;<br />

+								So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope<br />

+								You will go back directly to Bow!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_82">

+								<img src="images/359.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Rye,<br />

+								Who went up to town on a fly;<br />

+								But they said, "If you cough, you are safe to fall off!<br />

+								You abstemious old person of Rye!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_83">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page300" id="page300" title="300"></a>

+								<img src="images/360.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Crowle,<br />

+								Who lived in the nest of an owl;<br />

+								When they screamed in the nest, he screamed out with the rest,<br />

+								That depressing old person of Crowle.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_84">

+								<img src="images/361.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,<br />

+								Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see<br />

+								On the floor of my room, sweep it up with the broom!"<br />

+								That exhaustive old Lady of Winchelsea!

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_85">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page301" id="page301" title="301"></a>

+								<img src="images/362.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man in a tree,<br />

+								Whose whiskers were lovely to see;<br />

+								But the birds of the air pluck'd them perfectly bare,<br />

+								To make themselves nests in that tree.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_86">

+								<img src="images/363.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young lady of Corsica,<br />

+								Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur;<br />

+								Which she fed upon ham, and hot raspberry jam,<br />

+								That expensive young lady of Corsica.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_87">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page302" id="page302" title="302"></a>

+								<img src="images/364.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young lady of Firle,<br />

+								Whose hair was addicted to curl;<br />

+								It curled up a tree, and all over the sea,<br />

+								That expansive young lady of Firle.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_88">

+								<img src="images/365.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Stroud,<br />

+								Who was horribly jammed in a crowd;<br />

+								Some she slew with a kick, some she scrunched with a stick,<br />

+								That impulsive old person of Stroud.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_89">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page303" id="page303" title="303"></a>

+								<img src="images/366.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Boulak,<br />

+								Who sate on a Crocodile's back;<br />

+								But they said, "Towr'ds the night he may probably bite,<br />

+								Which might vex you, old man of Boulak!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_90">

+								<img src="images/367.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Skye,<br />

+								Who waltz'd with a Bluebottle fly:<br />

+								They buzz'd a sweet tune, to the light of the moon,<br />

+								And entranced all the people of Skye.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_91">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page304" id="page304" title="304"></a>

+								<img src="images/368.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Blackheath,<br />

+								Whose head was adorned with a wreath<br />

+								Of lobsters and spice, pickled onions and mice,<br />

+								That uncommon old man of Blackheath.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_92">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page305" id="page305" title="305"></a>

+								<img src="images/369.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man, who when little<br />

+								Fell casually into a kettle;<br />

+								But, growing too stout, he could never get out,<br />

+								So he passed all his life in that kettle.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_93">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page306" id="page306" title="306"></a>

+								<img src="images/370.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Dundalk,<br />

+								Who tried to teach fishes to walk;<br />

+								When they tumbled down dead, he grew weary, and said,<br />

+								"I had better go back to Dundalk!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_94">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page307" id="page307" title="307"></a>

+								<img src="images/371.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Shoreham,<br />

+								Whose habits were marked by decorum;<br />

+								He bought an Umbrella, and sate in the cellar,<br />

+								Which pleased all the people of Shoreham.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_95">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page308" id="page308" title="308"></a>

+								<img src="images/372.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bar,<br />

+								Who passed all her life in a jar,<br />

+								Which she painted pea-green, to appear more serene,<br />

+								That placid old person of Bar.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_96">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page309" id="page309" title="309"></a>

+								<img src="images/373.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person of Kew,<br />

+								Whose virtues and vices were few;<br />

+								But with blamable haste she devoured some hot paste,<br />

+								Which destroyed that young person of Kew.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_97">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page310" id="page310" title="310"></a>

+								<img src="images/374.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Jodd,<br />

+								Whose ways were perplexing and odd;<br />

+								She purchased a whistle, and sate on a thistle,<br />

+								And squeaked to the people of Jodd.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_98">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page311" id="page311" title="311"></a>

+								<img src="images/375.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bude,<br />

+								Whose deportment was vicious and crude;<br />

+								He wore a large ruff of pale straw-colored stuff,<br />

+								Which perplexed all the people of Bude.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_99">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page312" id="page312" title="312"></a>

+								<img src="images/376.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Brigg,<br />

+								Who purchased no end of a wig;<br />

+								So that only his nose, and the end of his toes,<br />

+								Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_100">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page313" id="page313" title="313"></a>

+								<img src="images/377.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Messina,<br />

+								Whose daughter was named Opsibeena;<br />

+								She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig,<br />

+								To the perfect delight of Messina.<br />

+								</p>

+							</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>
+		</table>

+	</div>

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page314" id="page314" title="314"></a>

+	<hr />
+	<div id="alphabet4" class="subbook">

+		<h2>

+			TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES<br />

+			AND PICTURES.<br />

+		</h2>

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu">

+					<hr />

+					<a href="#a4">a</a> <a href="#b4">b</a> <a href="#c4">c</a> <a href="#d4">d</a> <a href="#e4">e</a> <a href="#f4">f</a> <a href="#g4">g</a> <a href="#h4">h</a> <a href="#i4">i</a> <a href="#j4">j</a> <a href="#k4">k</a> <a href="#l4">l</a> <a href="#m4">m</a> <a href="#n4">n</a> <a href="#o4">o</a> <a href="#p4">p</a> <a href="#q4">q</a> <a href="#r4">r</a> <a href="#s4">s</a> <a href="#t4">t</a> <a href="#u4">u</a> <a href="#v4">v</a> <a href="#w4">w</a> <a href="#x4">x</a> <a href="#y4">y</a> <a href="#z4">z</a>

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page315" id="page315" title="315"></a>

+					<img src="images/378.gif" alt="ass" class="alphaimage" id="a4" />

+					<p>

+						The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,<br />

+						who resided in a Barrel, and only lived on<br />

+						Soda Water and Pickled Cucumbers.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page316" id="page316" title="316"></a>

+					<img src="images/379.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="beetle" id="b4" />

+					<p>

+						The Bountiful Beetle,<br />

+						who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn't rain,<br />

+						and left it at home when it did.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/380.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="cow" id="c4" />

+					<p>

+						The Comfortable Confidential Cow,<br />

+						who sate in her Red Morocco Arm Chair and<br />

+						toasted her own Bread at the parlour Fire.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page317" id="page317" title="317"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/381.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="duck" id="d4"/>

+					<p>

+						The Dolomphious Duck,<br />

+						who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner<br />

+						with a Runcible Spoon.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/382.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="elephant" id="e4" />

+					<p>

+						The Enthusiastic Elephant,<br />

+						who ferried himself across the water with the<br />

+						Kitchen Poker and a New pair of Ear-rings.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page318" id="page318" title="318"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/383.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="fish" id="f4" />

+					<p>

+						The Fizzgiggious Fish,<br />

+						who always walked about upon Stilts,<br />

+						because he had no legs.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page319" id="page319" title="319"></a>

+					<img src="images/384.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="gull" id="g4" />

+					<p>

+						The Good-natured Grey Gull,<br />

+						who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag,<br />

+						across the river, because he could not swim.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page320" id="page320" title="320"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/385.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="hen" id="h4" />

+					<p>

+						The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,<br />

+						who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,<br />

+						and bought a Fish for her Supper.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page321" id="page321" title="324"></a>

+

+					<img src="images/386.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="indian" id="i4" />

+					<p>

+						The Inventive Indian,<br />

+						who caught a Remarkable Rabbit in a<br />

+						Stupendous Silver Spoon.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page322" id="page322" title="322"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/387.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="jay" id="j4" />

+					<p>

+						The Judicious Jubilant Jay,<br />

+						who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses,<br />

+						Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page323" id="page323" title="323"></a>

+					<img src="images/388.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="kangaroo" id="k4" />

+					<p>

+						The Kicking Kangaroo,<br />

+						who wore a Pale Pink Muslin dress<br />

+						with Blue spots.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page324" id="page324" title="324"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/389.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="lobster" id="l4" />

+					<p>

+						The Lively Learned Lobster,<br />

+						who mended his own Clothes with<br />

+						a Needle and Thread.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page325" id="page325" title="325"></a>

+					<img src="images/390.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="mouse" id="m4" />

+					<p>

+						The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,<br />

+						who played a merry minuet on the<br />

+						Piano-forte.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page326" id="page326" title="326"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/391.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="newt" id="n4" />

+					<p>

+						The Nutritious Newt,<br />

+						who purchased a Round Plum-pudding<br />

+						for his grand-daughter.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page327" id="page327" title="327"></a>

+					<img src="images/392.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="ostrich" id="o4" />

+					<p>

+						The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,<br />

+						who wore Boots to keep his<br />

+						feet quite dry.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page328" id="page328" title="328"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/393.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="polly" id="p4" />

+					<p>

+						The Perpendicular Purple Polly,<br />

+						who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie<br />

+						with his Spectacles.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page329" id="page329" title="329"></a>

+					<img src="images/394.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="quail" id="q4" />

+					<p>

+						The Queer Querulous Quail,<br />

+						who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of<br />

+						a Tin Tea-kettle.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page330" id="page330" title="330"></a>

+					</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/395.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="raven" id="r4" />

+					<p>

+						The Rural Runcible Raven,<br />

+						who wore a White Wig and flew away<br />

+						with the Carpet Broom.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page331" id="page331" title="334"></a>

+					<img src="images/396.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="snake" id="s4" />

+					<p>

+						The Scroobious Snake,<br />

+						who always wore a Hat on his Head, for<br />

+						fear he should bite anybody.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/397.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="tortoise" id="t4" />

+					<p>

+						The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,<br />

+						who beat a Drum all day long in the<br />

+						middle of the wilderness.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page332" id="page332" title="332"></a>

+					<img src="images/398.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="umbrella-maker" id="u4" />

+					<p>

+						The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,<br />

+						whose Face nobody ever saw, because it was<br />

+						always covered by his Umbrella.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page333" id="page333" title="333"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/399.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="vulture" id="v4" />

+					<p>

+						The Visibly Vicious Vulture,<br />

+						who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a<br />

+						Volume bound in Vellum.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page334" id="page334" title="334"></a>

+					<img src="images/400.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="wasp" id="w4" />

+					<p>

+						The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,<br />

+						who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a<br />

+						Flute with a Morning Cap.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page335" id="page335" title="335"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/401.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="xerxes" id="x4" />

+					<p>

+						The Excellent Double-extra XX<br />

+						imbibing King Xerxes, who lived a<br />

+						long while ago.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page336" id="page336" title="336"></a>

+					<img src="images/402.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="yonghy-bonghy-bo" id="y4" />

+					<p>

+						The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,<br />

+						whose Head was ever so much bigger than his<br />

+						Body, and whose Hat was rather small.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page337" id="page337" title="337"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/403.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="zebra" id="z4" />

+					<p>

+						The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,<br />

+						who carried five Monkeys on his back all<br />

+						the way to Jellibolee.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+</div>

+<div class="book" id="book4">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="thecover" id="cover4">

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page338" id="page338" title="338"></a>

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="10" border="0" width="100%">

+			<tr>

+				<td align="center" width="50%">

+					<h1><span class="bigger">Laughable Lyrics:</span><br />

+					A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc.

+					</h1>

+					<h2>by<br />

+					Edward Lear,</h2>

+					<blockquote class="smaller"><i>Author of the 'Book of Nonsense' 'More Nonsense' 'Nonsense

+					Songs, Stories,' etc., etc.</i>

+					<img src="images/411.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" />

+					</blockquote>

+					<p align="center">With all the Original Illustrations.</p>
+					<h4>1894</h4>

+					<p align="center">Originally published 1877</p>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page339" id="page339" title="339"></a>

+				</td>

+				<td align="left">

+					<p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book4.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" /></a><br />

+					<b>1894 Cover</b><br />Click for larger version.

+					</p>

+					<ul class="tableofcontents" id="book4contents">

+						<li><a href="#laughable"><b>Laughable Lyrics.</b></a>

+							<ul>

+								<li><a href="#dong">The Dong With A Luminous Nose</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a>

+									<ul>

+										<li><a href="#pelicanmusic">sheet music</a></li>

+										<li><a href="music/pelican.pdf">.pdf</a> / <a href="music/pelican.midi">.midi</a> / <a href="music/pelican.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span></li>

+									</ul>

+								</li>

+								<li><a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;</a>

+									<ul>

+										<li><a href="#bomusic">sheet music</a></li>

+										<li><a href="music/yonghy.pdf">.pdf</a> / <a href="music/yonghy.midi">.midi</a> / <a href="music/yonghy.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span></li>

+									</ul>

+								</li>

+								<li><a href="#pobble">The Pobble Who Has No Toes</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#akond">The Akond Of Swat</a></li>

+							</ul>

+						</li>

+						<li><a href="#botany3"><b>Nonsense Botany</b></a></li>

+						<li><a href="#alphabets2"><b>Nonsense Alphabets</b></a>

+							<ul>

+								<li><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a></li>

+							</ul>

+						</li>

+					</ul>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page340" id="page340" title="340"></a>

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page341" id="page341" title="341"></a>

+	<hr />

+		<div class="subbook" id="laughable">

+			<h2>LAUGHABLE LYRICS.</h2>

+			<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#dong">The Dong with a Luminous Nose</a> <a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a> <a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a> <a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;</a> <a href="#pobble">The Pobble who has no Toes</a> <a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a> <a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a> <a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a> <a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a> <a href="#akond">The Akond of Swat</a>

+			</p>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="dong">

+				<img src="images/405.gif" alt="The Dong with a Luminous Nose" />

+				<h3>THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.</h3>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">W</span>hen awful darkness and silence reign<br />

+				Over the great Gromboolian plain,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Through the long, long wintry nights;</span>

+				When the angry breakers roar<br />

+				As they beat on the rocky shore;<br />

+				<span class="i2">When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights</span>

+				Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,&#8212;

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Then, through the vast and gloomy dark<br />

+				There moves what seems a fiery spark,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">A lonely spark with silvery rays</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page342" id="page342" title="342"></a>

+				<span class="i4">Piercing the coal-black night,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i4">A Meteor strange and bright:</span>

+				<span class="i2">Hither and thither the vision strays,</span>

+				<span class="i4">A single lurid light.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,&#8212;<br />

+				Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps;<br />

+				And ever as onward it gleaming goes<br />

+				A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.<br />

+				And those who watch at that midnight hour<br />

+				From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,<br />

+				Cry, as the wild light passes along,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">"The Dong! the Dong!</span>

+				<span class="i2">The wandering Dong through the forest goes!</span>

+				<span class="i4">The Dong! the Dong!</span>

+				<span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i4">Long years ago</span>

+				<span class="i2">The Dong was happy and gay,</span>

+				Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl<br />

+				<span class="i2">Who came to those shores one day.</span>

+				For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,&#8212;<br />

+				Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd<br />

+				<span class="i4">Where the Oblong Oysters grow,</span>

+				<span class="i2">And the rocks are smooth and gray.</span>

+				And all the woods and the valleys rang<br />

+				With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,&#8212;<br />

+				<i><span class="i6">"Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live;</span>

+				<span class="i6">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve."</span></i>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page343" id="page343" title="343"></a>

+				Happily, happily passed those days!<br />

+				<span class="i8">While the cheerful Jumblies staid;</span>

+				<span class="i4">They danced in circlets all night long,</span>

+				<span class="i4">To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,</span>

+				<span class="i8">In moonlight, shine, or shade.</span>

+				For day and night he was always there<br />

+				By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,<br />

+				With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair;<br />

+				Till the morning came of that hateful day<br />

+				When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,<br />

+				And the Dong was left on the cruel shore<br />

+				Gazing, gazing for evermore,&#8212;<br />

+				Ever keeping his weary eyes on<br />

+				That pea-green sail on the far horizon,&#8212;<br />

+				Singing the Jumbly Chorus still<br />

+				As he sate all day on the grassy hill,&#8212;<br />

+				<i><span class="i10">"Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i10">Are the lands where the Jumblies live;</span>

+				<span class="i10">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span>

+				<span class="i10">And they went to sea in a sieve."</span></i>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				But when the sun was low in the West,<br />

+				<span class="i4">The Dong arose and said,&#8212;</span>

+				&#8212;"What little sense I once possessed<br />

+				<span class="i4">Has quite gone out of my head!"</span>

+				And since that day he wanders still<br />

+				By lake and forest, marsh and hill,<br />

+				Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain,<br />

+				Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!<br />

+				For ever I'll seek by lake and shore<br />

+				Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!"

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page344" id="page344" title="344"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i2">Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks;</span>

+				<span class="i2">And because by night he could not see,</span>

+				<span class="i2">He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree</span>

+				<span class="i4">On the flowery plain that grows.</span>

+				<span class="i4">And he wove him a wondrous Nose,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i2">A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!</span>

+				Of vast proportions and painted red,<br />

+				And tied with cords to the back of his head.<br />

+				<span class="i2">&#8212;In a hollow rounded space it ended</span>

+				<span class="i2">With a luminous Lamp within suspended,</span>

+				<span class="i4">All fenced about</span>

+				<span class="i4">With a bandage stout</span>

+				<span class="i4">To prevent the wind from blowing it out;</span>

+				<span class="i2">And with holes all round to send the light</span>

+				<span class="i2">In gleaming rays on the dismal night</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				And now each night, and all night long,<br />

+				Over those plains still roams the Dong;<br />

+				And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe<br />

+				You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,<br />

+				While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,<br />

+				To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;<br />

+				Lonely and wild, all night he goes,&#8212;<br />

+				The Dong with a luminous Nose!<br />

+				And all who watch at the midnight hour,<br />

+				From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,<br />

+				Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,<br />

+				Moving along through the dreary night,&#8212;<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page345" id="page345" title="345"></a>

+				<span class="i2">"This is the hour when forth he goes,</span>

+				<span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Yonder, over the plain he goes,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i4">He goes!</span>

+				<span class="i4">He goes,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!"</span>

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="bachelors">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page346" id="page346" title="346"></a>

+				<img src="images/406.gif" alt="The Two Old Bachelors." />

+				<h3>

+				THE TWO OLD BACHELORS.

+				</h3>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>wo old Bachelors were living in one house;<br />

+				One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.<br />

+				Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,&#8212;<br />

+				"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house,<br />

+				Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,<br />

+				And what to do for dinner&#8212;since we haven't any money?<br />

+				And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner,<br />

+				But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?"

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,&#8212;<br />

+				"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'!<br />

+				If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;<br />

+				But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!"

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town<br />

+				And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down;<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page347" id="page347" title="347"></a>

+				They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found<br />

+				In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north,<br />

+				And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;<br />

+				And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,&#8212;<br />

+				An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page.<br />

+				Climb up, and seize him by the toes,&#8212;all studious as he sits,&#8212;<br />

+				And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits!<br />

+				Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),&#8212;<br />

+				When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good&#8212;perhaps."

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Those two old Bachelors without loss of time<br />

+				The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb;<br />

+				And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook,<br />

+				They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in!<br />

+				We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!"

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book,<br />

+				At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;<br />

+				And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,&#8212;<br />

+				At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town;<br />

+				And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want of Stuffin'),<br />

+				The Mouse had fled&#8212;and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				They left their home in silence by the once convivial door;<br />

+				And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more.

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page348" id="page348" title="348"></a>

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="pelican">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page349" id="page349" title="349"></a>

+				<h3>

+				THE PELICAN CHORUS.

+				</h3>

+				<img src="images/408.gif" alt="The Pelican Chorus" />

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">K</span>ing and Queen of the Pelicans we;<br />

+				No other Birds so grand we see!<br />

+				None but we have feet like fins!<br />

+				With lovely leathery throats and chins!<br />

+				<span class="i2">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span>

+				<span class="i2">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!</span>

+				<span class="i2">We think so then, and we thought so still</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.<br />

+				By night we sleep on the cliffs above;<br />

+				By day we fish, and at eve we stand<br />

+				On long bare islands of yellow sand.<br />

+				And when the sun sinks slowly down,<br />

+				And the great rock walls grow dark and brown,<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page350" id="page350" title="350"></a>

+				Where the purple river rolls fast and dim<br />

+				And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,<br />

+				Wing to wing we dance around,<br />

+				Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound,<br />

+				Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;<br />

+				And this is the song we nightly snort,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Last year came out our Daughter Dell,<br />

+				And all the Birds received her well.<br />

+				To do her honor a feast we made<br />

+				For every bird that can swim or wade,&#8212;<br />

+				Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,<br />

+				Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,<br />

+				Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,<br />

+				Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:<br />

+				Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!<br />

+				They ate and drank and danced all night,<br />

+				And echoing back from the rocks you heard<br />

+				Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Yes, they came; and among the rest<br />

+				The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page351" id="page351" title="351"></a>

+				Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float<br />

+				Between the ends of his blue dress-coat;<br />

+				With pea-green trowsers all so neat,<br />

+				And a delicate frill to hide his feet<br />

+				(For though no one speaks of it, every one knows<br />

+				He has got no webs between his toes).<br />

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,<br />

+				In violent love that Crane King fell,&#8212;<br />

+				On seeing her waddling form so fair,<br />

+				With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair.<br />

+				And before the end of the next long day<br />

+				Our Dell had given her heart away;<br />

+				For the King of the Cranes had won that heart<br />

+				With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.<br />

+				She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,<br />

+				Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;<br />

+				And away they flew in a gathering crowd<br />

+				Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud.<br />

+				<span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				And far away in the twilight sky<br />

+				We heard them singing a lessening cry,&#8212;<br />

+				Farther and farther, till out of sight,<br />

+				And we stood alone in the silent night!<br />

+				Often since, in the nights of June,<br />

+				We sit on the sand and watch the moon,&#8212;<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page352" id="page352" title="352"></a>

+				She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain,<br />

+				And we probably never shall meet again!<br />

+				Oft, in the long still nights of June,<br />

+				We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,&#8212;<br />

+				She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore.<br />

+				And we probably never shall see her more.<br />

+				<span class="i2">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span>

+				<span class="i2">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span>

+				<span class="i2">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<img src="images/407.gif" alt="'Sheet Music: The Pelicans" id="pelicanmusic" /><br />

+				2004: also available as <a href="music/pelican.pdf">.pdf</a>, <a href="music/pelican.midi">.midi</a>, or <a href="music/pelican.ly">Lilypond markup</a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="smaller"><b>NOTE.&#8212;</b>The Air of this and the following Song by Edward Lear; the

+			Arrangement for the Piano by Professor Pom&egrave;, of San Remo, Italy.

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page353" id="page353" title="353"></a></p>

+			</div>

+

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="bo">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page354" id="page354" title="354"></a>

+				<img src="images/410.gif" alt="The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo" />

+				<h3>

+				THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-B&Ograve;.

+				</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">O</span>n the Coast of Coromandel<br />

+				<span class="i4">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span>

+				<span class="i6">In the middle of the woods</span>

+				<span class="i2">Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				Two old chairs, and half a candle,<br />

+				One old jug without a handle,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">These were all his worldly goods:</span>

+				<span class="i4">In the middle of the woods,</span>

+				<span class="i4">These were all the worldly goods</span>

+				<span class="i2">Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Of the Yonghy-Bonghy B&ograve;.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page355" id="page355" title="355"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">	II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Once, among the Bong-trees walking<br />

+				<span class="i2">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span>

+				<span class="i4">To a little heap of stones</span>

+				<span class="i2">Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				There he heard a Lady talking,<br />

+				To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i6">"'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!</span>

+				<span class="i6">On that little heap of stones</span>

+				<span class="i6">Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"</span>

+				<span class="i4">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!<br />

+				<span class="i2">Sitting where the pumpkins blow,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Will you come and be my wife?"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				"I am tired of living singly"&#8212;<br />

+				On this coast so wild and shingly,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">I'm a-weary of my life;</span>

+				<span class="i4">If you'll come and be my wife,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Quite serene would be my life!"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				"On this Coast of Coromandel<br />

+				<span class="i2">Shrimps and watercresses grow,</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page356" id="page356" title="356"></a>

+				<span class="i4">Prawns are plentiful and cheap,"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				"You shall have my chairs and candle,<br />

+				And my jug without a handle!<br />

+				<span class="i4">Gaze upon the rolling deep</span>

+				<span class="i4">(Fish is plentiful and cheap);</span>

+				<span class="i4">As the sea, my love is deep!"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				Lady Jingly answered sadly,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And her tears began to flow,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i4">"Your proposal comes too late,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				I would be your wife most gladly!"<br />

+				(Here she twirled her fingers madly,)<br />

+				<span class="i4">"But in England I've a mate!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Yes! you've asked me far too late,</span>

+				<span class="i4">For in England I've a mate,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">Handel Jones, Esquire, &amp; Co.)</span>

+				<span class="i4">Dorking fowls delights to send,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle,<br />

+				And your jug without a handle,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">I can merely be your friend!</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page357" id="page357" title="357"></a>

+				<span class="i4">Should my Jones more Dorkings send,</span>

+				<span class="i4">I will give you three, my friend!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VII.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Though you've such a tiny body,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And your head so large doth grow,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i4">Though your hat may blow away,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy,<br />

+				Yet I wish that I could modi-<br />

+				<span class="i4">fy the words I needs must say!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Will you please to go away?</span>

+				<span class="i4">That is all I have to say,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber"><br />

+				VIII.<br />

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span>

+				<span class="i4">To the calm and silent sea</span>

+				<span class="i2">Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle,<br />

+				Lay a large and lively Turtle.<br />

+				<span class="i4">"You're the Cove," he said, "for me;</span>

+				<span class="i4">On your back beyond the sea,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Turtle, you shall carry me!"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				</p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page358" id="page358" title="358"></a>

+				<img src="images/411.gif" alt="The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo" /><br />

+				<p class="versenumber">IX.</p>

+				<p>

+				Through the silent-roaring ocean<br />

+				<span class="i2">Did the Turtle swiftly go;</span>

+				<span class="i4">Holding fast upon his shell</span>

+				<span class="i2">Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				With a sad primaeval motion<br />

+				Towards the sunset isles of Boshen<br />

+				<span class="i4">Still the Turtle bore him well.</span>

+				<span class="i4">Holding fast upon his shell,</span>

+				<span class="i4">"Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">X.</p>

+				<p>

+				From the Coast of Coromandel<br />

+				<span class="i2">Did that Lady never go;</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page359" id="page359" title="359"></a>

+				<span class="i4">On that heap of stones she mourns</span>

+				<span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				On that Coast of Coromandel,<br />

+				In his jug without a handle<br />

+				<span class="i4">Still she weeps, and daily moans;</span>

+				<span class="i4">On that little heap of stones</span>

+				<span class="i4">To her Dorking Hens she moans,</span>

+				<span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page360" id="page360" title="360"></a>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/409.gif" alt="Sheet Music: The Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;" id="bomusic" /><br />

+				Also available as <a href="music/yonghy.pdf">.pdf</a>, <a href="music/yonghy.midi">.midi</a>, or <a href="music/yonghy.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span>

+			</div>

+			<div class="longpoem" id="pobble">
+
+				<hr />
+
+				<img src="images/412.gif" alt="The Pobble who has no Toes" />

+				<h3>

+				THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES.

+				</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>he Pobble who has no toes<br />

+				<span class="i2">Had once as many as we;</span>

+				When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;"<br />

+				<span class="i2">He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!"</span>

+				And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink<br />

+				Lavender water tinged with pink;<br />

+				For she said, "The World in general knows<br />

+				There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!"

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>he Pobble who has no toes,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Swam across the Bristol Channel;</span>

+				But before he set out he wrapped his nose<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a piece of scarlet flannel.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page361" id="page361" title="361"></a>

+				For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm<br />

+				Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;<br />

+				And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes<br />

+				Are safe&#8212;provided he minds his nose."

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				The Pobble swam fast and well,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And when boats or ships came near him,</span>

+				He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell<br />

+				<span class="i2">So that all the world could hear him.</span>

+				And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,<br />

+				When they saw him nearing the further side,&#8212;<br />

+				"He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's<br />

+				Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!"

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				But before he touched the shore,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The shore of the Bristol Channel,</span>

+				A sea-green Porpoise carried away<br />

+				<span class="i2">His wrapper of scarlet flannel.</span>

+				And when he came to observe his feet,<br />

+				Formerly garnished with toes so neat,<br />

+				His face at once became forlorn<br />

+				On perceiving that all his toes were gone!

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				And nobody ever knew,<br />

+				<span class="i2">From that dark day to the present,</span>

+				Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a manner so far from pleasant.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page362" id="page362" title="362"></a>

+				Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray,<br />

+				Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,<br />

+				Nobody knew; and nobody knows<br />

+				How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				The Pobble who has no toes<br />

+				<span class="i2">Was placed in a friendly Bark,</span>

+				And they rowed him back, and carried him up<br />

+				<span class="i2">To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.</span>

+				And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,<br />

+				Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;<br />

+				And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,<br />

+				That Pobbles are happier without their toes."<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page363" id="page363" title="363"></a>

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="vestments">

+				<h3>

+				THE NEW VESTMENTS.

+				</h3>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>here lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,<br />

+				Who invented a purely original dress;<br />

+				And when it was perfectly made and complete,<br />

+				He opened the door and walked into the street.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,<br />

+				In the middle of which he inserted his head;<br />

+				His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,<br />

+				The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;<br />

+				His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;<br />

+				His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;<br />

+				His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;<br />

+				His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;<br />

+				His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,<br />

+				And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;<br />

+				And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,<br />

+				A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,<br />

+				Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;<br />

+				And from every long street and dark lane in the town<br />

+				Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.<br />

+				Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;<br />

+				Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page364" id="page364" title="364"></a>

+				Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,<br />

+				And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;<br />

+				An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore <i>up</i> his<br />

+				Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;<br />

+				And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,<br />

+				Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.<br />

+				He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,<br />

+				For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:<br />

+				They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;<br />

+				They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;<br />

+				And now from the housetops with screechings descend<br />

+				Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end:<br />

+				They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,<br />

+				When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;<br />

+				They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,<br />

+				And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;<br />

+				They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,&#8212;<br />

+				Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,<br />

+				"I will not wear a similar dress any more,<br />

+				Any more, any more, any more, never more!"

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="discobbolos">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page365" id="page365" title="365"></a>

+				<h3>

+				MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS.

+				</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">M</span>r. and Mrs. Discobbolos

+				<span class="i4">Climbed to the top of a wall.</span>

+				<span class="i2">And they sate to watch the sunset sky,</span>

+				<span class="i2">And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,</span>

+				<span class="i4">And the Biscuit Buffalo call.</span>

+				They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,<br />

+				And both were as happy as happy could be,<br />

+				<span class="i8">Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span>

+				<span class="i8">It has just come into my head,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!</span>

+				<span class="i16">Darling Mr. Discobbolos!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,<br />

+				<span class="i4">Just like pieces of stone,</span>

+				<span class="i2">On to the thorns, or into the moat,</span>

+				<span class="i2">What would become of your new green coat?</span>

+				<span class="i4">And might you not break a bone?</span>

+				It never occurred to me before,<br />

+				That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"<br />

+				<span class="i8">And Mrs. Discobbolos said,</span>

+				<span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page366" id="page366" title="366"></a>

+				<span class="i8">What put it into your head</span>

+				<span class="i4">To climb up this wall, my own</span>

+				<span class="i16">Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">	III.</p>

+				<p>

+				Mr. Discobbolos answered,<br />

+				<span class="i4">"At first it gave me pain,</span>

+				<span class="i2">And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink</span>

+				<span class="i2">When your exclamation made me think</span>

+				<span class="i4">We might never get down again!</span>

+				But now I believe it is wiser far<br />

+				To remain for ever just where we are."<br />

+				<span class="i8">And Mr. Discobbolos said,</span>

+				<span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span>

+				<span class="i8">It has just come into my head</span>

+				<span class="i4">We shall never go down again,</span>

+				<span class="i16">Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos<br />

+				<span class="i4">Stood up and began to sing,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i2">"Far away from hurry and strife</span>

+				<span class="i2">Here we will pass the rest of life,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!</span>

+				We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,<br />

+				No tables nor carpets nor household cares;<br />

+				<span class="i8">From worry of life we've fled;</span>

+				<span class="i8">Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span>

+				<span class="i8">There is no more trouble ahead,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Sorrow or any such thing,</span>

+				<span class="i16">For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page367" id="page367" title="367"></a>

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="quangle">

+				<img src="images/413.gif" alt="The Quangle Wangle's Hat" />

+				<h3>THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">O</span>n the top of the Crumpetty Tree<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Quangle Wangle sat,</span>

+				But his face you could not see,<br />

+				<span class="i2">On account of his Beaver Hat.</span>

+				For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,<br />

+				With ribbons and bibbons on every side,<br />

+				And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,<br />

+				So that nobody ever could see the face<br />

+				<span class="i6">Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				The Quangle Wangle said<br />

+				<span class="i2">To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page368" id="page368" title="368"></a>

+				"Jam, and jelly, and bread<br />

+				<span class="i2">Are the best of food for me!</span>

+				But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree<br />

+				The plainer than ever it seems to me<br />

+				That very few people come this way<br />

+				And that life on the whole is far from gay!"<br />

+				<span class="i6">Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				But there came to the Crumpetty Tree<br />

+				<span class="i2">Mr. and Mrs. Canary;</span>

+				And they said, "Did ever you see<br />

+				<span class="i2">Any spot so charmingly airy?</span>

+				May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?<br />

+				Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!<br />

+				O please let us come and build a nest<br />

+				Of whatever material suits you best,<br />

+				<span class="i6">Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree<br />

+				<span class="i2">Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;</span>

+				The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Frog and the Fimble Fowl</span>

+				(The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);<br />

+				And all of them said, "We humbly beg<br />

+				We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,&#8212;<br />

+				Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!<br />

+				<span class="i6">Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page369" id="page369" title="369"></a>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				And the Golden Grouse came there,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And the Pobble who has no toes,</span>

+				And the small Olympian bear,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And the Dong with a luminous nose.</span>

+				And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,<br />

+				And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,<br />

+				And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,&#8212;<br />

+				All came and built on the lovely Hat<br />

+				<span class="i6">Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				And the Quangle Wangle said<br />

+				<span class="i2">To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,</span>

+				"When all these creatures move<br />

+				<span class="i2">What a wonderful noise there'll be!"</span>

+				And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon<br />

+				They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,<br />

+				On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,<br />

+				And all were as happy as happy could be,<br />

+				<span class="i6">With the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span>

+				</p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page370" id="page370" title="370"></a>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="cummerbund">

+				<h3>THE CUMMERBUND.<br /><span class="chapterdescription">An Indian Poem.</span></h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">S</span>he sate upon her Dobie,

+				<span class="i2">To watch the Evening Star,</span>

+				And all the Punkahs, as they passed,

+				<span class="i2">Cried, "My! how fair you are!"</span>

+				Around her bower, with quivering leaves,

+				<span class="i2">The tall Kamsamahs grew,</span>

+				And Kitmutgars in wild festoons

+				<span class="i2">Hung down from Tchokis blue.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Below her home the river rolled

+				<span class="i2">With soft meloobious sound,</span>

+				Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam,

+				<span class="i2">In myriads circling round.</span>

+				Above, on tallest trees remote

+				<span class="i2">Green Ayahs perched alone,</span>

+				And all night long the Mussak moan'd

+				<span class="i2">Its melancholy tone.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				And where the purple Nullahs threw

+				<span class="i2">Their branches far and wide,</span>

+								</p>

+				<p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page371" id="page371" title="371"></a>

+				And silvery Goreewallahs flew

+				<span class="i2">In silence, side by side,</span>

+				The little Bheesties' twittering cry

+				<span class="i2">Rose on the flagrant air,</span>

+				And oft the angry Jampan howled

+				<span class="i2">Deep in his hateful lair.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				She sate upon her Dobie,

+				<span class="i2">She heard the Nimmak hum,</span>

+				When all at once a cry arose,

+				<span class="i2">"The Cummerbund is come!"</span>

+				In vain she fled: with open jaws

+				<span class="i2">The angry monster followed,</span>

+				And so (before assistance came)

+				<span class="i2">That Lady Fair was swollowed.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				They sought in vain for even a bone

+				<span class="i2">Respectfully to bury;</span>

+				They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!"

+				<span class="i2">(And Echo answered, "Very.")</span>

+				They nailed her Dobie to the wall,

+				<span class="i2">Where last her form was seen,</span>

+				And underneath they wrote these words,

+				<span class="i2">In yellow, blue, and green:</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!

+				<span class="i2">Nor sit out late at night,</span>

+				Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,

+				<span class="i2">And swollow you outright."</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="smaller">

+				<b>NOTE.&#8212;</b>First published in <i>Times of India</i>, Bombay, July, 1874.

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="akond">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page372" id="page372" title="372"></a>

+				<h3>THE AKOND OF SWAT.</h3>

+				<table width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5">

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							<span class="largecap">W</span>ho, or why, or which, or <i>what</i>,

+							Is the Akond of SWAT?<br />

+							Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?<br />

+							Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" width="33%" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or SQUAT?<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Is he wise or foolish, young or old?<br />

+							Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" width="33%" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or HOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,<br />

+							And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or TROT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?<br />

+							Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a COT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							When he writes a copy in round-hand size,<br />

+							Does he cross his T's and finish his I's<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							with a DOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Can he write a letter concisely clear<br />

+							Without a speck or a smudge or smear<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or BLOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Do his people like him extremely well?<br />

+							Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or PLOT,<br />

+							At the Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							If he catches them then, either old or young,<br />

+							Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or <i>shot</i>,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Do his people prig in the lanes or park?<br />

+							Or even at times, when days are dark,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p>

+							GAROTTE?<br />

+							O the Akond of Swat!

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he study the wants of his own dominion?<br />

+							Or doesn't he care for public opinion<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							a JOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							To amuse his mind do his people show him<br />

+							Pictures, or any one's last new poem,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or WHAT,<br />

+							For the Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,<br />

+							Do they bring him only a few small cakes,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a LOT,<br />

+							For the Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?<br />

+							Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a DOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he like to lie on his back in a boat<br />

+							Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							SHALLOTT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?<br />

+							Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a SCOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?<br />

+							Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a GROTT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?<br />

+							Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a POT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page374" id="page374" title="374"></a>

+							Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,<br />

+							When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or ROT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,<br />

+							And tie it neat in a bow with ends,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a KNOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?<br />

+							When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or NOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?<br />

+							Does he sail about on an inland lake,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							in a YACHT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Some one, or nobody, knows I wot<br />

+							Who or which or why or what<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							Is the Akond of Swat!<br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+			</table>

+			<p class="smaller">

+			<b>NOTE.&#8212;</b>For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, <i>passim</i>.

+			The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the

+			monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus.

+			</p>

+		</div>

+	</div>

+		<hr />
+
+	<div class="subbook" id="botany3">

+	<h2>NONSENSE BOTANY.</h2>

+			<p class="subbookmenu">

+			<a href="#botany3_1">Armchairia Comfortabilis</a> <a href="#botany3_2">Bassia Palealensis</a> <a href="#botany3_3">Bubblia Blowpipia</a> <a href="#botany3_4">Bluebottlia Buzztilentia</a> <a href="#botany3_5">Crabbia Horrida</a> <a href="#botany3_6">Smalltoothcombia Domestica</a> <a href="#botany3_7">Knutmigrata Simplice</a> <a href="#botany3_8">Tureenia Ladlecum</a> <a href="#botany3_9">Puffia Leatherbellowsa</a> <a href="#botany3_10">Queeriflora Baby&ouml;ides</a>

+			</p>

+		<hr />

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="20px" border="0" class="botanygrid">

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page375" id="page375" title="375"></a>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page376" id="page376" title="376"></a>

+					<img src="images/414.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Armchairia Comfortabilis." id="botany3_1" /><br />

+					Armchairia Comfortabilis.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page377" id="page377" title="377"></a>

+					<img src="images/415.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bassia Palealensis." id="botany3_2" /><br />

+					Bassia Palealensis.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page378" id="page378" title="378"></a>

+					<img src="images/416.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bubblia Blowpipia." id="botany3_3" /><br />

+					Bubblia Blowpipia.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page379" id="page379" title="379"></a>

+					<img src="images/417.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bluebottlia Buzztilentia." id="botany3_4" /><br />

+					Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page380" id="page380" title="380"></a>

+					<img src="images/418.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Crabbia Horrida." id="botany3_5" /><br />

+					Crabbia Horrida.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page381" id="page381" title="381"></a>

+					<img src="images/419.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Smalltoothcombia Domestica." id="botany3_6" /><br />

+					Smalltoothcombia Domestica.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page382" id="page382" title="382"></a>

+					<img src="images/420.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Knutmigrata Simplice." id="botany3_7" /><br />

+					Knutmigrata Simplice.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page383" id="page383" title="383"></a>

+					<img src="images/421.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Tureenia Ladlecum." id="botany3_8" /><br />

+					Tureenia Ladlecum.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page384" id="page384" title="384"></a>

+					<img src="images/422.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Puffia Leatherbellowsa." id="botany3_9" /><br />

+					Puffia Leatherbellowsa.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page385" id="page385" title="385"></a>

+					<img src="images/423.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Queeriflora Baby&ouml;ides." id="botany3_10" /><br />

+					Queeriflora Baby&ouml;ides.

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page386" id="page386" title="386"></a>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="subbook" id="alphabets2">

+		<h2>NONSENSE ALPHABETS.</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a> <a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a>

+		</p>

+
+
+		<div class="chapter" id="alphabet5">
+
+			<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu">

+						<hr />

+						<a href="#a5">a</a> <a href="#b5">b</a> <a href="#c5">c</a> <a href="#d5">d</a> <a href="#e5">e</a> <a href="#f5">f</a> <a href="#g5">g</a> <a href="#h5">h</a> <a href="#i5">i</a> <a href="#j5">j</a> <a href="#k5">k</a> <a href="#l5">l</a> <a href="#m5">m</a> <a href="#n5">n</a> <a href="#o5">o</a> <a href="#p5">p</a> <a href="#q5">q</a> <a href="#r5">r</a> <a href="#s5">s</a> <a href="#t5">t</a> <a href="#u5">u</a> <a href="#v5">v</a> <a href="#w5">w</a> <a href="#x5">x</a> <a href="#y5">y</a> <a href="#z5">z</a>

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="a5">A</p>

+						<img src="images/424.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">A</span> was an Area Arch<br />

+									<span class="i2">Where washerwomen sat;</span>

+									They made a lot of lovely starch<br />

+									<span class="i2">To starch Papa's Cravat.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page388" id="page388" title="388"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="b5">B</p>

+						<img src="images/425.gif" alt="bottle" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left"><p>

+									<span class="largecap">B</span> was a Bottle blue,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Which was not very small;</span>

+									Papa he filled it full of beer,

+									<span class="i2">And then he drank it all.</span>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="c5">C</p>

+						<img src="images/426.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="cat" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">C</span> was Papa's gray Cat,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Who caught a squeaky Mouse;</span>

+									She pulled him by his twirly tail<br />

+									<span class="i2">All about the house.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page390" id="page390" title="390"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="d5">D</p>

+						<img src="images/427.gif" alt="duck" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">D</span> was Papa's white Duck,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Who had a curly tail;</span>

+									One day it ate a great fat frog,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Besides a leetle snail.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page395" id="page395" title="395"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="e5">E</p>

+						<img src="images/428.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="egg" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">E</span> was a little Egg,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Upon the breakfast table;</span>

+									Papa came in and ate it up<br />

+									<span class="i2">As fast as he was able.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page392" id="page392" title="392"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="f5">F</p>

+						<img src="images/429.gif" alt="fish" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">F</span> was a little Fish.<br />

+									<span class="i2">Cook in the river took it</span>

+									Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!<br />

+									<span class="i2">And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page393" id="page393" title="393"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="g5">G</p>

+						<img src="images/430.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="gun" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">G</span> was Papa's new Gun;<br />

+									<span class="i2">He put it in a box;</span>

+									And then he went and bought a bun,<br />

+									<span class="i2">And walked about the Docks.</span>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="h5">H</p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page394" id="page394" title="394"></a>

+						<img src="images/431.gif" alt="hat" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">H</span> was Papa's new Hat;<br />

+									<span class="i2">He wore it on his head;</span>

+									Outside it was completely black,<br />

+									<span class="i2">But inside it was red.</span>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="i5">I</p>

+						<img src="images/432.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">I</span> was an Inkstand new,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Papa he likes to use it;</span>

+									He keeps it in his pocket now,<br />

+									<span class="i2">For fear that he should lose it.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page396" id="page396" title="396"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="j5">J</p>

+						<img src="images/433.gif" alt="jam" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">J</span> was some Apple Jam,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Of which Papa ate part;</span>

+									But all the rest he took away<br />

+									<span class="i2">And stuffed into a tart.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page397" id="page397" title="397"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="k5">K</p>

+						<img src="images/434.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">K</span> was a great new Kite;<br />

+									<span class="i2">Papa he saw it fly</span>

+									Above a thousand chimney pots,<br />

+									<span class="i2">And all about the sky.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page398" id="page398" title="398"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="l5">L</p>

+						<img src="images/435.gif" alt="lamp" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">L</span> was a fine new Lamp;<br />

+									<span class="i2">But when the wick was lit,</span>

+									Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!<br />

+									<span class="i2">I cannot read a bit!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page399" id="page399" title="399"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="m5">M</p>

+						<img src="images/436.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="mince" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">M</span> was a dish of mince;<br />

+									<span class="i2">It looked so good to eat!</span>

+									Papa, he quickly ate it up,<br />

+									<span class="i2">And said, "This is a treat!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page400" id="page400" title="400"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="n5">N</p>

+						<img src="images/437.gif" alt="nut" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">N</span> was a Nut that grew<br />

+									<span class="i2">High up upon a tree;</span>

+									Papa, who could not reach it, said,<br />

+									<span class="i2">"That's <i>much</i> too high for me!"</span>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="o5">O</p>

+						<img src="images/438.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="owl" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">O</span> was an Owl who flew<br />

+									<span class="i2">All in the dark away,</span>

+									Papa said, "What an owl you are!<br />

+									<span class="i2">Why don't you fly by day?"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page402" id="page402" title="402"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="p5">P</p>

+						<img src="images/439.gif" alt="pig" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">P</span> was a little Pig,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Went out to take a walk;</span>

+									Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,<br />

+									<span class="i2">He'd all turn into Pork!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page403" id="page403" title="403"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="q5">Q</p>

+						<img src="images/440.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="quince" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Q</span> was a Quince that hung<br />

+									<span class="i2">Upon a garden tree;</span>

+									Papa he brought it with him home,<br />

+									<span class="i2">And ate it with his tea.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page404" id="page404" title="404"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="r5">R</p>

+						<img src="images/441.gif" alt="rug" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">R</span> was a Railway Rug<br />

+									<span class="i2">Extremely large and warm;</span>

+									Papa he wrapped it round his head,<br />

+									<span class="i2">In a most dreadful storm.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page405" id="page405" title="405"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="s5">S</p>

+						<img src="images/442.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="stick" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">S</span> was Papa's new Stick,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Papa's new thumping Stick,</span>

+									To thump extremely wicked boys,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Because it was so thick.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page406" id="page406" title="406"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="t5">T</p>

+						<img src="images/443.gif" alt="tumbler" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">T</span> was a tumbler full<br />

+									<span class="i2">Of Punch all hot and good;</span>

+									Papa he drank it up, when in<br />

+									<span class="i2">The middle of a wood.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page407" id="page407" title="407"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="u5">U</p>

+						<img src="images/444.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="urn" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">U</span> was a silver urn,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Full of hot scalding water;</span>

+									Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,<br />

+									<span class="i2">I'd give it to my daughter!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page408" id="page408" title="408"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="v5">V</p>

+						<img src="images/445.gif" alt="villain" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">V</span> was a Villain; once<br />

+									<span class="i2">He stole a piece of beef.</span>

+									Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!<br />

+									<span class="i2">That Villain is a Thief!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page409" id="page409" title="409"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="w5">W</p>

+						<img src="images/446.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="watch" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">W</span> was a Watch of Gold:<br />

+									<span class="i2">It told the time of day,</span>

+									So that Papa knew when to come,<br />

+									<span class="i2">And when to go away.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page410" id="page410" title="410"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="x5">X</p>

+						<img src="images/447.gif" alt="xerxes" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">X</span> was King Xerxes, whom<br />

+									<span class="i2">Papa much wished to know;</span>

+									But this he could not do, because<br />

+									<span class="i2">Xerxes died long ago.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page415" id="page415" title="415"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="y5">Y</p>

+						<img src="images/448.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="youth" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Y</span> was a Youth, who kicked<br />

+									<span class="i2">And screamed and cried like mad;</span>

+									Papa he said, "Your conduct is<br />

+									<span class="i2">Abominably bad!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page412" id="page412" title="412"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="z5">Z</p>

+						<img src="images/449.gif" alt="zebra" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Z</span> was a Zebra striped<br />

+									<span class="i2">And streaked with lines of black;</span>

+									Papa said once, he thought he'd like<br />

+									<span class="i2">A ride upon his back.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page413" id="page413" title="413"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+			</table>

+		</div>

+		<div class="chapter" id="alphabet6">

+			<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu">

+						<hr />

+						<a href="#a6">a</a> <a href="#b6">b</a> <a href="#c6">c</a> <a href="#d6">d</a> <a href="#e6">e</a> <a href="#f6">f</a> <a href="#g6">g</a> <a href="#h6">h</a> <a href="#i6">i</a> <a href="#j6">j</a> <a href="#k6">k</a> <a href="#l6">l</a> <a href="#m6">m</a> <a href="#n6">n</a> <a href="#o6">o</a> <a href="#p6">p</a> <a href="#q6">q</a> <a href="#r6">r</a> <a href="#s6">s</a> <a href="#t6">t</a> <a href="#u6">u</a> <a href="#v6">v</a> <a href="#w6">w</a> <a href="#x6">x</a> <a href="#y6">y</a> <a href="#z6">z</a>

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="a6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/a.gif" alt="A" align="middle" />tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood,

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="b6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/b.gif" alt="B" align="middle" />said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="c6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/c.gif" alt="C" align="middle" />said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="d6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/d.gif" alt="D" align="middle" />said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="e6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/e.gif" alt="E" align="middle" />said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="f6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/f.gif" alt="F" align="middle" />said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="g6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/g.gif" alt="G" align="middle" />said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="h6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/h.gif" alt="H" align="middle" />said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="i6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/i.gif" alt="I" align="middle" />said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="j6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/j.gif" alt="J" align="middle" />said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="k6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/k.gif" alt="K" align="middle" />said, "A Kangaroo is here,&#8212;this picture let him see."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="l6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/l.gif" alt="L" align="middle" />said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="m6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/m.gif" alt="M" align="middle" />said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="n6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/n.gif" alt="N" align="middle" />said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="o6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/o.gif" alt="O" align="middle" />said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="p6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/p.gif" alt="P" align="middle" />

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page414" id="page414" title="414"></a>

+						P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="q6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/q.gif" alt="Q" align="middle" />said, "A Quince I recommend,&#8212;a Quince, or else a Quail."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="r6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/r.gif" alt="R" align="middle" />said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="s6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/s.gif" alt="S" align="middle" />said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="t6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/t.gif" alt="T" align="middle" />said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="u6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/u.gif" alt="U" align="middle" />said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="v6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/v.gif" alt="V" align="middle" />said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="w6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/w.gif" alt="W" align="middle" />said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="x6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/x.gif" alt="X" align="middle" />said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="y6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/y.gif" alt="Y" align="middle" />said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="z6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/z.gif" alt="Z" align="middle" />said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!<br />

+						<span class="i9">We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little master!</span>

+						<span class="i9">We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad disaster!"</span>

+						</p>

+						<br />

+						<br />

+						<br />

+						<br />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+			</table>

+		</div>

+	</div>

+</div>

+<div class="book" id="indices">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<h1>Index</h1>

+	<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#indexfirstlines">First Lines</a> <a href="#indexalphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a> <a href="#indexbotany">Nonsense Botanies</a> <a href="#indexpoems">Nonsense Songs and Stories</a>

+	</p>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="index" id="indexfirstlines">

+		<h2>An Index of First Lines</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#indexalphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a> <a href="#indexbotany">Nonsense Botanies</a> <a href="#indexpoems">Nonsense Songs and Stories</a> <a href="#collectioncontents">Table of Contents</a>

+		</p>

+		<ul class="tableofcontents">

+			<li><a href="#a6">A tumbled down,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#a5">A was an Area Arch</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#a1">A was an ant</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#a3">A was an ape,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#a2">A was once an apple-pie,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#a4">The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b6">B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b5">B was a Bottle blue,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b3">B was a bat,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b1">B was a book</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b2">B was once a little bear,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b4">The Bountiful Beetle,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#broomshovelpoker">The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c6">C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c5">C was Papa's gray Cat,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c3">C was a camel:</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c1">C was a cat</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c2">C was once a little cake,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#calico">Calico pie, the little birds fly</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c4">The Comfortable Confidential Cow,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d6">D said, "A Doctor should be fetched,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d5">D was Papa's white Duck,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d3">D was a dove,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d1">D was a duck</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d2">D was once a little doll,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d4">The Dolomphious Duck,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e6">E said, "An Egg beat up with milk</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e5">E was a little Egg,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e3">E was an eagle,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e1">E was an elephant,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e2">E was once a little eel,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e4">The Enthusiastic Elephant,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x4">The Excellent Double-extra XX</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f6">F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f3">F was a fan</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f1">F was a fish</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f5">F was a little Fish.</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f2">F was once a little fish,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f4">The Fizzgiggious Fish,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g6">G said, "Green Gooseberry fool,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g5">G was Papa's new Gun;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g1">G was a goat</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g3">G was a gooseberry,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g2">G was once a little goose,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g4">The Good-natured Grey Gull,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h6">H said, "His Hat should be kept on,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h5">H was Papa's new Hat;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h1">H was a hat</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h3">H was a heron,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h2">H was once a little hen,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h4">The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#pleasant">"How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i6">I said, "Some Ice upon his head</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i5">I was an Inkstand new,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i3">I was an inkstand,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i2">I was once a bottle of ink</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i1">I was some ice</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#pipple">In former days,that is to say, once upon a time,there lived in the Land of Gramble-Blamble seven families. </a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i4">The Inventive Indian,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j6">J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j1">J was a jackdaw</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j3">J was a jug,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j2">J was once a jar of jam,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j5">J was some Apple Jam,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j4">The Judicious Jubilant Jay,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k6">K said, "A Kangaroo is here,&#8212;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k5">K was a great new Kite;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k3">K was a kingfisher:</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k1">K was a kite</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k2">K was once a little kite,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k4">The Kicking Kangaroo,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#pelican">King and Queen of the Pelicans we;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l6">L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l5">L was a fine new Lamp;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l1">L was a light</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l3">L was a lily,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l2">L was once a little lark,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l4">The Lively Learned Lobster,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m6">M said, "A Mulberry or two</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m5">M was a dish of mince;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m3">M was a man,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m1">M was a mill</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m2">M was once a little mouse,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m4">The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#discobbolos">Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n6">N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n1">N was a net</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n5">N was a Nut that grew</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n3">N was a nut</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n2">N was once a little needle,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#nutandsugar">The Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n4">The Nutritious Newt,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o6">O said, "An Owl might make him laugh,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o1">O was an orange</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o3">O was an oyster,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o5">O was an Owl who flew</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o2">O was once a little owl,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o4">The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#sparrows">On a little piece of wood,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#bo">On the Coast of Coromandel</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#quangle">On the top of the Crumpetty Tree</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#daddyandfly">Once Mr. Daddy Long-legs,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#children">Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little people whose names were Violet, Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#owlandpussy">The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p6">P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p5">P was a little Pig,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p1">P was a pig,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p3">P was a polly,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p2">P was once a little pump,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p4">The Perpendicular Purple Polly,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#pobble">The Pobble who has no toes</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q6">Q said, "A Quince I recommend,&#8212;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q5">Q was a Quince that hung</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q1">Q was a quail</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q3">Q was a quill</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q2">Q was once a little quail,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q4">The Queer Querulous Quail,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r6">R said, "Some Rats might make him move,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r5">R was a Railway Rug</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r1">R was a rabbit,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r3">R was a rattlesnake,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r2">R was once a little rose,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r4">The Rural Runcible Raven,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s6">S said, "A Song should now be sung,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s5">S was Papa's new Stick,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s2">S was once a little shrimp,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s3">S was a screw</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s1">S was the sugar-tongs,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#duckandkangaroo">Said the Duck to the Kangaroo,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#tableandchair">Said the Table to the Chair,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s4">The Scroobious Snake,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#cummerbund">She sate upon her Dobie,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t6">T said, "A Turnip might avail,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t3">T was a thimble,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t1">T was a tortoise,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t5">T was a tumbler full</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t2">T was once a little thrush,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_76">There is a young lady, whose nose,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#vestments">There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_89">There was a Young Girl of Majorca,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_34">There was a Young Lady of Bute,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_98">There was a Young Lady of Clare,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_99">There was a Young Lady of Dorking,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_65">There was a Young Lady of Hull,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_51">There was a Young Lady of Lucca,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_31">There was a Young Lady of Norway,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_92">There was a Young Lady of Parma,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_90">There was a Young Lady of Poole,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_12">There was a Young Lady of Portugal,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_68">There was a Young Lady of Russia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_111">There was a Young Lady of Ryde,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_84">There was a Young Lady of Sweden,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_64">There was a Young Lady of Troy,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_95">There was a Young Lady of Turkey,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_69">There was a Young Lady of Tyre,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_80">There was a Young Lady of Wales,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_81">There was a Young Lady of Welling,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_112">There was a Young Lady whose bonnet</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_10">There was a Young Lady whose chin</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_110">There was a Young Lady whose eyes</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_30">There was a Young Lady whose nose</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_97">There was a Young Person of Crete,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_2">There was a Young Person of Smyrna,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_39">There was a young lady in blue,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_28">There was a young lady in white,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_86">There was a young lady of Corsica,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_87">There was a young lady of Firle,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_66">There was a young lady of Greenwich,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_25">There was a young person in green,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_33">There was a young person in pink,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_31">There was a young person in red,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_74">There was a young person of Ayr,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_1">There was a young person of Bantry,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_45">There was a young person of Janina,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_96">There was a young person of Kew,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_80">There was a young person whose history</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_intro">There was an Old Derry down Derry,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_9">There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_91">There was an Old Lady of Prague,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_57">There was an Old Lady whose folly</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_2">There was an Old Man at a Junction,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_15">There was an Old Man in a boat,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_106">There was an Old Man in a casement,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_61">There was an Old Man in a pew,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_8">There was an Old Man in a tree,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_96">There was an Old Man of A&ocirc;sta</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_32">There was an Old Man of Apulia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_76">There was an Old Man of Berlin,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_53">There was an Old Man of Bohemia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_46">There was an Old Man of Calcutta,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_100">There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_52">There was an Old Man of Coblenz,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_7">There was an Old Man of Columbia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_54">There was an Old Man of Corfu,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_56">There was an Old Man of Dundee,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_62">There was an Old Man of Jamaica,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_73">There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_6">There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_60">There was an Old Man of Leghorn,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_19">There was an Old Man of Madras,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_28">There was an Old Man of Marseilles,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_49">There was an Old Man of Melrose,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_17">There was an Old Man of Moldavia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_43">There was an Old Man of Nepaul,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_38">There was an Old Man of Peru,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_108">There was an Old Man of Peru.</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_33">There was an Old Man of Quebec,&#8212;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_55">There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_14">There was an Old Man of Vienna,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_83">There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_45">There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_86">There was an Old Man of the Cape,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_72">There was an Old Man of the Coast,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_50">There was an Old Man of the Dee,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_71">There was an Old Man of the East,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_102">There was an Old Man of the Hague,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_23">There was an Old Man of the Isles,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_44">There was an Old Man of the Nile,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_39">There was an Old Man of the North,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_48">There was an Old Man of the South,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_27">There was an Old Man of the West,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_77">There was an Old Man of the West,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_29">There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_3">There was an Old Man on a hill,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_58">There was an Old Man on some rocks,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_94">There was an Old Man on whose nose</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_63">There was an Old Man who said, "How</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_67">There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_104">There was an Old Man who said, "Well!</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_25">There was an Old Man who supposed</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_109">There was an Old Man with a beard,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_75">There was an Old Man with a beard,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_11">There was an Old Man with a flute,&#8212;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_5">There was an Old Man with a gong,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_1">There was an Old Man with a nose,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_36">There was an Old Man with a poker,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_105">There was an Old Man with an Owl,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_79">There was an Old Person of Anerley,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_70">There was an Old Person of Bangor,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_24">There was an Old Person of Basing,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_16">There was an Old Person of Buda,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_87">There was an Old Person of Burton,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_22">There was an Old Person of Cadiz,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_78">There was an Old Person of Cheadle</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_85">There was an Old Person of Chester,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_4">There was an Old Person of Chili,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_20">There was an Old Person of Dover,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_66">There was an Old Person of Dutton,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_88">There was an Old Person of Ems</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_107">There was an Old Person of Ewell,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_74">There was an Old Person of Gretna,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_18">There was an Old Person of Hurst,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_13">There was an Old Person of Ischia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_21">There was an Old Person of Leeds,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_41">There was an Old Person of Mold,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_35">There was an Old Person of Phil&#339;,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_37">There was an Old Person of Prague,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_59">There was an Old Person of Rheims,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_47">There was an Old Person of Rhodes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_103">There was an Old Person of Spain,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_93">There was an Old Person of Sparta,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_82">There was an Old Person of Tartary,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_42">There was an Old Person of Tring,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_40">There was an Old Person of Troy,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_26">There was an Old Person whose habits</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_84">There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_40">There was an old Man in a Garden,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_101">There was an old Person of Cromer,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_34">There was an old lady of France,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_22">There was an old man at a Station,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_19">There was an old man in a Marsh,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_7">There was an old man in a barge,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_85">There was an old man in a tree,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_71">There was an old man of Ancona,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_91">There was an old man of Blackheath,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_89">There was an old man of Boulak,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_46">There was an old man of Cashmere,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_14">There was an old man of Dee-side</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_58">There was an old man of Dumblane,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_51">There was an old man of Dumbree,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_13">There was an old man of Dunluce,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_8">There was an old man of Dunrose;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_60">There was an old man of El Hums,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_24">There was an old man of Hong Kong,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_54">There was an old man of Ibreem,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_100">There was an old man of Messina,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_59">There was an old man of Port Grigor,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_49">There was an old man of Spithead,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_78">There was an old man of Thames Ditton,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_4">There was an old man of Thermopylae,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_23">There was an old man of Three Bridges,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_9">There was an old man of Toulouse</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_61">There was an old man of West Dumpet,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_16">There was an old man of the Dargle</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_50">There was an old man on the Border,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_6">There was an old man on the Humber,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_27">There was an old man who screamed out</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_63">There was an old man whose despair</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_53">There was an old man whose remorse</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_92">There was an old man, who when little</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_15">There was an old person in black,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_70">There was an old person in gray,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_95">There was an old person of Bar,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_64">There was an old person of Barnes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_73">There was an old person of Blythe,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_81">There was an old person of Bow,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_79">There was an old person of Bray,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_10">There was an old person of Bree,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_99">There was an old person of Brigg,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_20">There was an old person of Brill,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_11">There was an old person of Bromley,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_98">There was an old person of Bude,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_67">There was an old person of Cannes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_47">There was an old person of Cassel,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_18">There was an old person of China,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_83">There was an old person of Crowle,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_5">There was an old person of Deal,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_38">There was an old person of Dean</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_30">There was an old person of Down,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_93">There was an old person of Dundalk,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_77">There was an old person of Ealing,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_26">There was an old person of Fife,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_52">There was an old person of Filey,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_42">There was an old person of Florence,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_56">There was an old person of Grange,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_32">There was an old person of Hove,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_69">There was an old person of Hyde,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_68">There was an old person of Ickley,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_97">There was an old person of Jodd,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_36">There was an old person of Loo,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_3">There was an old person of Minety,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_57">There was an old person of Newry,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_65">There was an old person of Nice,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_48">There was an old person of Pett,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_17">There was an old person of Pinner,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_41">There was an old person of Pisa,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_35">There was an old person of Putney,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_75">There was an old person of Rimini,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_82">There was an old person of Rye,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_62">There was an old person of Sark,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_72">There was an old person of Sestri,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_43">There was an old person of Sheen,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_12">There was an old person of Shields,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_94">There was an old person of Shoreham,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_90">There was an old person of Skye,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_29">There was an old person of Slough,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_88">There was an old person of Stroud,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_44">There was an old person of Ware,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_21">There was an old person of Wick,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_55">There was an old person of Wilts,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_37">There was an old person of Woking,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#jumblies">They went to sea in a sieve, they did;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t4">The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#bachelors">Two old Bachelors were living in one house;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u6">U said, "An Urn, with water hot</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u5">U was a silver urn,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u3">U was an upper-coat,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u1">U was an urn</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u2">U was once a little urn,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u4">The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v6">V said, "I'll stand upon a chair,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v3">V was a veil</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v5">V was a Villain; once</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v1">V was a villa</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v2">V was once a little vine,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v4">The Visibly Vicious Vulture,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w6">W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w5">W was a Watch of Gold:</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w3">W was a watch,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w1">W was a whale</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w2">W was once a whale,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#dong">When awful darkness and silence reign</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#akond">Who, or why, or which, or <i>what</i></a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w4">The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x6">X said, "Some double XX ale</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x5">X was King Xerxes, whom</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x1">X was King Xerxes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x3">X was King Xerxes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x2">X was once a great king Xerxes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y6">Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y3">Y was a yak,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y1">Y was a yew,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y5">Y was a Youth, who kicked</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y2">Y was once a little yew,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y4">The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z6">Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc!</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z5">Z was a Zebra striped</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z3">Z was a zebra,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z2">Z was once a piece of zinc,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z1">Z was some zinc,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z4">The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,</a></li>

+		</ul>

+

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="index" id="indexalphabets">

+		<h2>An Index of Nonsense Alphabets by Edward Lear.</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#indexfirstlines">First Lines</a> <a href="#indexbotany">Nonsense Botanies</a> <a href="#indexpoems">Nonsense Songs and Stories</a> <a href="#collectioncontents">Table of Contents</a>

+		</p>

+		<ul class="tableofcontents">

+			<li><b>Alphabets</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet1">No. 1</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet2">No. 2</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet3">No. 3</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet4">No. 4</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a></li>

+				</ul>

+			</li>

+			<li><b>By Letter</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li>

+						<a href="#a1">ant</a>

+						<a href="#a3">ape</a>

+						<a href="#a2">apple-pie</a>

+						<a href="#a5">arch</a>

+						<a href="#a6">arm</a>

+						<a href="#a4">ass</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#b3">bat</a>

+						<a href="#b2">bear</a>

+						<a href="#b4">beetle</a>

+						<a href="#b1">book</a>

+						<a href="#b5">bottle</a>

+						<a href="#b6">boy</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#c2">cake</a>

+						<a href="#c3">camel</a>

+						<a href="#c1">cat</a>

+						<a href="#c5">cat</a>

+						<a href="#c6">coffee</a>

+						<a href="#c4">cow</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#d6">doctor</a>

+						<a href="#d2">doll</a>

+						<a href="#d3">dove</a>

+						<a href="#d1">duck</a>

+						<a href="#d4">duck</a>

+						<a href="#d5">duck</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#e3">eagle</a>

+						<a href="#e2">eel</a>

+						<a href="#e5">egg</a>

+						<a href="#e6">egg</a>

+						<a href="#e1">elephant</a>

+						<a href="#e4">elephant</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#f3">fan</a>

+						<a href="#f1">fish</a>

+						<a href="#f2">fish</a>

+						<a href="#f4">fish</a>

+						<a href="#f5">fish</a>

+						<a href="#f6">fish</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#g1">goat</a>

+						<a href="#g2">goose</a>

+						<a href="#g3">gooseberry</a>

+						<a href="#g6">gooseberry</a>

+						<a href="#g4">gull</a>

+						<a href="#g5">gun</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#h1">hat</a>

+						<a href="#h5">hat</a>

+						<a href="#h6">hat</a>

+						<a href="#h2">hen</a>

+						<a href="#h4">hen</a>

+						<a href="#h3">heron</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#i1">ice</a>

+						<a href="#i6">ice</a>

+						<a href="#i4">indian</a>

+						<a href="#i2">ink</a>

+						<a href="#i3">inkstand</a>

+						<a href="#i5">inkstand</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#j1">jackdaw</a>

+						<a href="#j2">jam</a>

+						<a href="#j5">jam</a>

+						<a href="#j6">jam</a>

+						<a href="#j4">jay</a>

+						<a href="#j3">jug</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#k4">kangaroo</a>

+						<a href="#k6">kangaroo</a>

+						<a href="#k3">kingfisher</a>

+						<a href="#k1">kite</a>

+						<a href="#k2">kite</a>

+						<a href="#k5">kite</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#l5">lamp</a>

+						<a href="#l6">lamp</a>

+						<a href="#l2">lark</a>

+						<a href="#l1">light</a>

+						<a href="#l3">lily</a>

+						<a href="#l4">lobster</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#m3">man</a>

+						<a href="#m1">mill</a>

+						<a href="#m5">mince</a>

+						<a href="#m2">mouse</a>

+						<a href="#m4">mouse</a>

+						<a href="#m6">mulberry</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#n2">needle</a>

+						<a href="#n1">net</a>

+						<a href="#n4">newt</a>

+						<a href="#n5">nut</a>

+						<a href="#n3">nut</a>

+						<a href="#n6">nuts</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#o1">orange</a>

+						<a href="#o4">ostrich</a>

+						<a href="#o2">owl</a>

+						<a href="#o5">owl</a>

+						<a href="#o6">owl</a>

+						<a href="#o3">oyster</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#p1">pig</a>

+						<a href="#p5">pig</a>

+						<a href="#p6">poetry</a>

+						<a href="#p3">polly</a>

+						<a href="#p4">polly</a>

+						<a href="#p2">pump</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#q1">quail</a>

+						<a href="#q2">quail</a>

+						<a href="#q3">quail</a>

+						<a href="#q4">quill</a>

+						<a href="#q5">quince</a>

+						<a href="#q6">quince</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#r1">rabbit</a>

+						<a href="#r6">rats</a>

+						<a href="#r3">rattlesnake</a>

+						<a href="#r4">raven</a>

+						<a href="#r2">rose</a>

+						<a href="#r5">rug</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#s3">screw</a>

+						<a href="#s2">shrimp</a>

+						<a href="#s4">snake</a>

+						<a href="#s6">song</a>

+						<a href="#s5">stick</a>

+						<a href="#s1">sugar-tongs</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#t3">thimble</a>

+						<a href="#t2">thrush</a>

+						<a href="#t1">tortoise</a>

+						<a href="#t4">tortoise</a>

+						<a href="#t5">tumbler</a>

+						<a href="#t6">turnip</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#u4">umbrella-maker</a>

+						<a href="#u3">upper-coat</a>

+						<a href="#u1">urn</a>

+						<a href="#u2">urn</a>

+						<a href="#u5">urn</a>

+						<a href="#u6">urn</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#v3">veil</a>

+						<a href="#v1">villa</a>

+						<a href="#v5">villain</a>

+						<a href="#v2">vine</a>

+						<a href="#v6">violin</a>

+						<a href="#v4">vulture</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#w4">wasp</a>

+						<a href="#w3">watch</a>

+						<a href="#w5">watch</a>

+						<a href="#w1">whale</a>

+						<a href="#w2">whale</a>

+						<a href="#w6">whisky-whizzigigs</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#x1">Xerxes</a>

+						<a href="#x2">Xerxes</a>

+						<a href="#x3">Xerxes</a>

+						<a href="#x4">Xerxes</a>

+						<a href="#x5">Xerxes</a>

+						<a href="#x6">XX ale</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#y3">yak</a>

+						<a href="#y6">yeast</a>

+						<a href="#y1">yew</a>

+						<a href="#y2">yew</a>

+						<a href="#y4">Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo</a>

+						<a href="#y5">youth</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#z3">zebra</a>

+						<a href="#z5">zebra</a>

+						<a href="#z6">zebra</a>

+						<a href="#z1">zinc</a>

+						<a href="#z2">zinc</a>

+						<a href="#z6">zinc</a>

+					</li>

+				</ul>

+			</li>

+		</ul>

+	</div>

+	<hr />
+
+	<div class="index" id="indexbotany">

+		<h2>An Index of Nonsense Botanies by Edward Lear.</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#indexfirstlines">First Lines</a> <a href="#indexalphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a> <a href="#indexpoems">Nonsense Songs and Stories</a> <a href="#collectioncontents">Table of Contents</a>

+		</p>

+		<ul class="tableofcontents">

+			<li><b>Botanies</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li><a href="#botany">No. 1</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2">No. 2</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3">No. 3</a></li>

+				</ul>

+			</li>

+			<li><b>Species</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_1">Armchairia Comfortabilis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_5">Arthbroomia Rigida</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_1">Baccopipia Gracilis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_1">Barkia Howlaloudia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_2">Bassia Palealensis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_4">Bluebottlia Buzztilentia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_2">Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_3">Bubblia Blowpipia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_3">Cockatooca Superba</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_5">Crabbia Horrida</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_2">Enkoopia Chickabiddia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_4">Fishia Marina</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_5">Guittara Pensilis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_3">Jinglia Tinkettlia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_7">Knutmigrata Simplice</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_6">Manypeeplia Upsidownia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_7">Minspysia Deliciosa</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_4">Nasticreechia Krorluppia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_7">Phattfacia Stupenda</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_8">Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_9">Plumbunnia Nutritiosa</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_10">Pollybirdia Singularis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_9">Puffia Leatherbellowsa</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_10">Queeriflora Baby&ouml;ides</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_8">Shoebootia Utilis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_6">Smalltoothcombia Domestica</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_6">Sophtsluggia Glutinosa</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_9">Stunnia Dinnerbellia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_10">Tickia Orologica</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_12">Tigerlillia Terribilis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_8">Tureenia Ladlecum</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_11">Washtubbia Circularis</a></li>

+				</ul>

+			</li>

+		</ul>

+	</div>

+	<hr />
+
+	<div class="index" id="indexpoems">

+		<h2>An Index of Nonsense Songs and Stories by Edward Lear.</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#indexfirstlines">First Lines</a> <a href="#indexalphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a> <a href="#indexbotany">Nonsense Botanies</a> <a href="#collectioncontents">Table of Contents</a>

+		</p>

+		<ul class="tableofcontents">

+			<li><b>Songs</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li><a href="#akond">The Akond of Swat</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#broomshovelpoker">The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker, and the Tongs</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#calico">Calico Pie</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#daddyandfly">The Daddy Long-Legs and the Fly</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#dong">The Dong with a Luminous Nose</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#duckandkangaroo">The Duck and the Kangaroo</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#jumblies">The Jumblies</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#sparrows">Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#nutandsugar">The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-Tongs</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#owlandpussy">The Owl and the Pussy-Cat</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#pobble">The Pobble who has no Toes</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#tableandchair">The Table And The Chair</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;</a></li>

+				</ul>

+			</li>

+			<li><b>Stories</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li><a href="#children">The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#pipple">The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple</a></li>

+				</ul>

+				</li>

+			</ul>

+	</div>

+</div>

+<br />

+<br />

+<hr class="pg" />

+<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NONSENSE BOOKS***</p>

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diff --git a/13650-h/images/435.gif b/13650-h/images/435.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..7f3e020
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/435.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/436.gif b/13650-h/images/436.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..35fa80f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/436.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/437.gif b/13650-h/images/437.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a1d58b5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/437.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/438.gif b/13650-h/images/438.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3a74532
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/438.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/439.gif b/13650-h/images/439.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..cb09367
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/439.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/440.gif b/13650-h/images/440.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..81b91af
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/440.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/441.gif b/13650-h/images/441.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5a91435
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/441.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/442.gif b/13650-h/images/442.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..96c4676
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/442.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/443.gif b/13650-h/images/443.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..03b66be
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/443.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/444.gif b/13650-h/images/444.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b3f8a4a
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+++ b/13650-h/images/444.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/445.gif b/13650-h/images/445.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..85b3357
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/445.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/446.gif b/13650-h/images/446.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b1367c9
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/446.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/447.gif b/13650-h/images/447.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..aad45a4
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+++ b/13650-h/images/447.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/448.gif b/13650-h/images/448.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..747c69e
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+++ b/13650-h/images/448.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/449.gif b/13650-h/images/449.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..77b5e89
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/449.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/450.gif b/13650-h/images/450.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..191dbd5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/450.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/451.gif b/13650-h/images/451.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..54ac21f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/451.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/a.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/a.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..38304b8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/a.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/b.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/b.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..362099d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/b.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/c.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/c.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b9a0d05
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/c.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/d.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/d.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..23ac2e3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/d.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/e.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/e.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..54c03b3
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/e.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/f.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/f.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8f8ce7e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/f.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/g.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/g.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f342647
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/g.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/h.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/h.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a316663
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/h.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/i.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/i.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ed2f68e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/i.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/j.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/j.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c63df59
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/j.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/k.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/k.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d132932
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/k.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/l.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/l.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c0fe77a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/l.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/m.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/m.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..53a3e9b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/m.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/n.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/n.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ae78e3f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/n.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/o.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/o.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d1b0afe
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/o.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/p.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/p.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9e1bd48
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/p.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/q.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/q.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..800b91b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/q.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/r.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/r.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..80471c4
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/r.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/s.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/s.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..30b5d80
--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/t.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/t.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8de27aa
--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/u.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/u.gif
new file mode 100644
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/v.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/v.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8eddb0f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/alphabet/v.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/w.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/w.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3576abd
--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/x.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/x.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..57fe324
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/y.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/y.gif
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index 0000000..00d1788
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/alphabet/z.gif b/13650-h/images/alphabet/z.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3bdd038
--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book1.gif b/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book1.gif
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book1_t.gif b/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book1_t.gif
new file mode 100644
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book2.gif b/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book2.gif
new file mode 100644
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book2_t.gif b/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book2_t.gif
new file mode 100644
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book3.gif b/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book3.gif
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book3_t.gif b/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book3_t.gif
new file mode 100644
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book4.gif b/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book4.gif
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif b/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif
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diff --git a/13650-h/images/bullet.gif b/13650-h/images/bullet.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3bdf191
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/bullet.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/dedication.gif b/13650-h/images/dedication.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c4aac46
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/dedication.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/learstrip.gif b/13650-h/images/learstrip.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..38d3f84
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/learstrip.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/images/pleasant.gif b/13650-h/images/pleasant.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d8735c5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/images/pleasant.gif
diff --git a/13650-h/music/pelican.ly b/13650-h/music/pelican.ly
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e0257fe
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/music/pelican.ly
@@ -0,0 +1,126 @@
+%[**This page is marked up in lilypond notation.**]
+%#(set-global-staff-size 10)
+\paper  {
+  papersize = "letter"
+}
+\version "2.2.0"
+\header {
+%  dedication = "dedication"
+  title = "The Pelicans"
+%  subtitle = "subtitle"
+%  subsubtitle = "Subsubtitle"
+%  composer = "Composer (xxxx-yyyy)"
+%  opus = "Opus 0"
+%  piece = "Piece I"
+%  instrument = "Instrument"
+%  arranger = "Arranger"
+%  poet = "Poet"
+%  texttranslator = "Translator"
+%  copyright = "public domain"
+%  source =  "urtext "
+  enteredby = "Stan Goodman"
+%  maintainerEmail = "your email here"
+%  texidoc = "The standard header that ought to be above a file."
+}
+
+melody = \notes { \relative c'' {
+  \dynamicUp
+  \time 6/8
+  \key e \major
+  b4\< gis8\! e'8.\> dis16 cis8\! | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | b4\< b8 b4 b8\! | b4\> b8 b4\!
+  r8
+  | \break
+  b4\< gis8\! e'8.\> dis16 cis8\! | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | \grace { gis4 } b4
+  fis8
+  fis b cis | dis4 cis8 b4 r8 \bar"||" \break
+  b,4^\markup \italic "Coro--piu sostenuto." gis'8 gis fis gis | b, e fis gis4 b,8 | e4 gis8 gis4 b8 | b8
+  a8
+  gis8 fis4 r8 | \break
+  b,4 dis8 fis eis fis | b, fis' gis a4 gis8 | cis4 b8 a8 gis fis
+  |
+  gis4 fis8 e4 r8 \bar "||"
+} }
+
+text = \lyrics {
+King and Queen of the Peli -- cans we, No other birds so grand we
+see!
+None but we have _ feet like fins with love -- ly lea -- the -- ry
+throats and chins,
+Ploff -- skin, Pluff _ -- skin, Pe -- li -- can Jee! we think no
+birds
+so hap -- py as we!
+Plump -- skin, Ploff _ -- skin, Pe -- li -- can Jill! We think to
+then, and we thought so still!
+}
+
+upper = \notes { \relative c'' {
+  \time 6/8
+  \key e \major
+   << { b4 gis8 e'8. dis16 cis8 } \\ { e,4. e4. } >> | << { b'4 b8
+   gis4 r8 | b4 b8 b4 b8 | b4 b8 b4 r8 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4 s8 | <b
+   fis'>4. <fis' a> | <e gis> <dis fis>4 s8 } >> |
+  << { b'4 gis8 e'8. dis16 cis8 | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | b4 fis8 fis b
+  cis | dis4 cis8 b4 r8 } \\ { e,4. e | e e4 s8 | dis4 dis8 dis4 e8 | <<
+  {
+  fis4. ~ fis4 } \\ { fis4 e8 dis4 s8 } >> } >>  \bar"||"
+  s4 gis8 gis fis gis | b, e fis gis4 << { s8 e4 fis8 } \\ { b,8 ~
+  b4.} >> << { gis'4 b8 } \\ { e,4. } >> | <gis b>8 <fis a> <e
+  gis>
+  <dis fis>4 r8 | \break
+  b4 dis8 fis eis fis | b, fis' gis a4 gis8 | << { cis4 b8 a8 gis
+  fis
+  } \\ { e2. } >> | << { <e gis>4 <dis fis>8 e4 r8 } \\ { b4. b4
+  s8 }
+  >> \bar "||"
+} }
+
+lower = \notes { \relative c {
+  \time 6/8
+  \key e \major
+  << { gis'4 e8 cis'8. b16 a8 | gis4. b4 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4. | e4. ~
+  e4
+  } >> r8 | <b b'>4 b'8 b4 b8 | b4 b8 b4 r8 |
+  << { gis4 e8 cis'8. b16 a8 | gis4. b4 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4. | e4. ~
+  e4 }
+  >> r8 | << { b'4 fis8 fis4. ~ | fis4 ais8 b4 } \\ { <b, fis'>
+  fis8
+  fis4. | fis'4. <b, fis'>4 } >> r8 \bar "||"
+  << { b'4 s4 s4 } \\ <e,, b' e>2. \\ <gis' b>2. >> | << <gis b>2.
+  \\
+  <e, b' e>2. >> | << { gis'4. b4. | b4. ~ b4 } \\ { e,4. e4. |
+  b4. ~
+  b4 } >> r8 |
+  << { b'2. | b4. ~ b4 } \\ { <b, dis a'>2. | <b dis a'>4. ~ <b
+  dis
+  a'>4 } >> e8 | a4 gis8 cis b a | << { b,4 a'8 gis4 } \\ { b, s8
+  e4 }
+  >> r8 \bar "||"
+} }
+
+\score {
+  <<
+    \addlyrics
+      \context Staff = mel {
+        \set Staff.autoBeaming = ##f
+	\set Staff.instrument = "Canto.  "
+         \unset Staff.melismaBusyProperties 
+        \melody
+      }
+      \context Lyrics \text
+
+    \context PianoStaff
+    \set Staff.instrument = "Piano.  "
+    <<
+      \context Staff = upper \upper
+      \context Staff = lower <<
+	\clef bass
+	\lower
+      >>
+    >>
+  >>
+  \paper {
+	  pagenumber=no
+    \context { \RemoveEmptyStaffContext }
+  }
+  \midi { \tempo 4=120 }
+}
diff --git a/13650-h/music/pelican.midi b/13650-h/music/pelican.midi
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2f0786d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/music/pelican.midi
diff --git a/13650-h/music/pelican.pdf b/13650-h/music/pelican.pdf
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9497a00
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/music/pelican.pdf
diff --git a/13650-h/music/yonghy.ly b/13650-h/music/yonghy.ly
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8266e46
--- /dev/null
+++ b/13650-h/music/yonghy.ly
@@ -0,0 +1,149 @@
+% From Edward Lear's "Complete Nonsense".
+% Transcription to Lilypond for Project Gutenberg and Distributed Proofreaders.
+% No copyrights apply.
+
+
+\version "2.2.5"
+
+#(ly:set-point-and-click 'line-column)
+
+\header {
+	title = "The Yonghy Bonghy Bò."
+}
+
+
+verse= \lyrics {
+	On the coast of Co -- ro -- man -- del,
+	where the ear -- ly pump -- kins grow,
+	In the midd -- le of the woods
+	lived the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò.
+	Two old chairs and half a cand -- le,
+	One old jug with -- out a hand -- le,
+	These were all his world -- ly goods,
+	In the midd -- le of the woods,
+	These were all the world -- ly goods,
+	of the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò,
+	of the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò.
+}
+ 
+
+staffVoice = \new Staff \notes {
+	\time 2/4
+	\set Staff.instrument="Canto."
+	\set Staff.midiInstrument="voice oohs"
+	\key e \major
+	\clef treble
+	\relative c' {
+		\context Voice = "melodyVoi" {
+			\autoBeamOff
+			\partial 16*2 		
+			e16 fis 		gis8. fis16 gis8. a16 		gis8 fis r8 dis16. e32
+			fis8. fis16 e8 fis	gis4 r8 gis 16 gis		ais8 ais gis ais
+			b4 r8 b16. b32		cis8 gis ais fis		b4 r8 b16. b32 
+			b8. ais16 b8. cis16	b8\( a\) r a16. a32		a8. gis16 a8. b16
+			a8 gis r gis16. gis32	gis8 gis fis e			fis4 r8 cis'16. cis32
+			cis8 cis cis cis	b4 b8. cis16			b8. a16 b8. a16 
+			gis4 r8 e16. fis32	gis8. a16 fis8. gis16		e4 b8. e16
+			gis8. e16 gis8. fis16	e4 r
+		}
+
+	\bar "|."
+	}
+
+}
+staffPiano = \new PianoStaff {
+	\set PianoStaff.midiInstrument = #"acoustic grand"
+	\set PianoStaff.instrument = #"Piano  "
+	<<
+		\context Staff = RH {  % Right hand 
+			\clef treble
+			\notes {
+				\key e \major
+				\partial 16*2
+				<< { \relative c' { \slurBoth
+					e16 fis						gis8. fis16 gis8. a16
+					gis8 fis  b8\rest dis,16. e32			fis8. fis16 e8 <dis fis>
+					<e gis>4 b'8\rest fis16 gis			ais8 ais gis ais
+					<dis, b'>4 b'8\rest b16. b32			<gis cis>4 <e fis ais>
+					<dis fis b> b'8\rest b16. b32			<gis b>8. <fisis ais>16 <gis b>8. <ais cis>16
+					<gis b>8( <fis a>) b8\rest a16. a32		<fis a>8. <eis gis!>16 <fis a>8. <gis b>16
+					<fis a>8 <e gis> b'8\rest gis16. gis32		gis8( <b, e gis> <a b fis> <gis b e>
+					<fis b dis fis>4) b'8\rest cis16. cis32		cis8 cis cis cis
+					b4 b8. cis16					<gis b>8. <fis a>16 <gis b>8. <fis a>16
+					<e gis>4 b'8\rest e,16. fis32			gis8. a16 fis8. gis16
+					e4 b8. e16					gis8. e16 gis8. fis16
+					e4 b'4\rest
+				} } \\ { \relative c' {
+					s8						e4 e
+					e8 dis s4					dis4 b8 b
+					b4 s4						r8 e4 e8
+					s4. fis8					s2
+					s2						s2
+					s2						s2
+					s2						s2
+					s2						<e a>4 <e a>
+					<e gis> s					dis dis
+					s2						e4 dis
+					cis s						s b(
+					b) s
+				} } >>					
+			}
+		}
+		\context Staff = LH {  % Left hand 			
+			\clef bass
+			\notes {
+				\key e \major
+				\partial 16*2
+				<< { \relative c' { \slurBoth
+					gis16 a						b8. a16 b8. cis16
+					<b, b'>8 <b a'> d\rest fis16. gis32		a8. a16 gis8 fis
+					<e, b' e>4 d'\rest				r8 cis'[ b cis]
+					b4 d,8\rest dis					e[ cis fis fis,]
+					b[ fis b,] d'\rest				b'4 b,
+					b'8[ b, b'] d,\rest				b'4 b,
+					e8[ b e,] d'\rest				s2
+					s4 d\rest					<a e' a> <a e' a>
+					<e e'> d'\rest					<b b'> <b b'>
+					<e b'> d8\rest gis16. a32			<b, b'>4 <b a'>
+					<e gis> d\rest					b'8. gis16  b8. a16
+					gis4 d\rest
+				} } \\ { \relative c { \slurBoth
+					s8						e4 e
+					s2						b4 b8 b
+					s2						fis'4. fis8
+					b4 s						s2
+					s						s
+					s						s
+					s						b,(
+					<b, b'>4) s					s2
+					s						s
+					s						s
+					s						b'4 b
+					e s
+				} } >>	
+			}
+		}
+	>>
+}
+
+
+
+\score { \notes
+	<<
+		\staffVoice
+		\context Lyrics = lmelodyVoi \lyricsto "melodyVoi" \verse		
+		\staffPiano
+	>>
+	
+	\midi {
+		\tempo 4 = 75 
+	}
+		
+	\paper {
+		pagenumber = no
+		\context {
+			\RemoveEmptyStaffContext
+		}
+	}
+
+}
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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Nonsense Books, by Edward Lear
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Nonsense Books
+
+Author: Edward Lear
+
+Release Date: October 8, 2004  [eBook #13650]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NONSENSE BOOKS***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney, A. Deubelbeiss, Stan
+Goodman, and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which
+      includes the original illustrations and music clips as well as
+      midi, pdf, and lilypond files.
+      See 13650-h.htm or 13650-h.zip:
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/5/13650/13650-h/13650-h.htm)
+      or
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/5/13650/13650-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOOKS
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+With all the Original Illustrations
+
+1894
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+PUBLISHERS' NOTICE.
+The first _Book of Nonsense_ was published in 1846. Three other volumes,--
+_Nonsense Songs, Stories, etc._, published in 1871; _More Nonsense
+Pictures, etc._, in 1872; and _Laughable Lyrics: A Fresh Book of Nonsense,
+etc._, in 1877,--comprise all the "Nonsense Books" written by Mr. Lear.
+
+
+
+
+  "Surely the most beneficent and innocent of all books
+  yet produced is the _Book of Nonsense_, with its corollary
+  carols, inimitable and refreshing, and perfect in rhythm.
+  I really don't know any author to whom I am half so
+  grateful for my idle self as Edward Lear. I shall put
+  him first of my hundred authors."
+
+  JOHN RUSKIN,
+
+    In the _List of the Best Hundred Authors_.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: EDWARD LEAR. ENGRAVED BY ANDREW FROM A PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN IN
+SAN REMO, BY RONCAROLO.]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+   I.   A BOOK OF NONSENSE.
+   II.  NONSENSE SONGS, STORIES, BOTANY, AND ALPHABETS.
+   III. MORE NONSENSE PICTURES, RHYMES, BOTANY, ETC.
+   IV.  LAUGHABLE LYRICS:
+        A FRESH BOOK OF NONSENSE POEMS, SONGS, BOTANY, ETC.
+
+
+[Illustration: QUI LEGIT REGIT.]
+
+
+
+
+The following lines by Mr. Lear were written for a young lady of his
+acquaintance, who had quoted to him the words of a young lady not of his
+acquaintance,
+
+  "How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"
+
+      "How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"
+        Who has written such volumes of stuff!
+      Some think him ill-tempered and queer,
+        But a few think him pleasant enough.
+
+      His mind is concrete and fastidious,
+        His nose is remarkably big;
+      His visage is more or less hideous,
+        His beard it resembles a wig.
+
+      He has ears, and two eyes, and ten fingers,
+        Leastways if you reckon two thumbs;
+      Long ago he was one of the singers,
+        But now he is one of the dumbs.
+
+      He sits in a beautiful parlor,
+        With hundreds of books on the wall;
+      He drinks a great deal of Marsala,
+        But never gets tipsy at all.
+
+      He has many friends, lay men and clerical,
+        Old Foss is the name of his cat;
+      His body is perfectly spherical,
+        He weareth a runcible hat.
+
+      When he walks in waterproof white,
+        The children run after him so!
+      Calling out, "He's come out in his night-
+        Gown, that crazy old Englishman, oh!"
+
+      He weeps by the side of the ocean,
+        He weeps on the top of the hill;
+      He purchases pancakes and lotion,
+        And chocolate shrimps from the mill.
+
+      He reads, but he cannot speak, Spanish,
+        He cannot abide ginger beer:
+      Ere the days of his pilgrimage vanish,
+        How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+Edward Lear, the artist, Author of "Journals of a Landscape Painter" in
+various out-of-the-way countries, and of the delightful "Books of
+Nonsense," which have amused successive generations of children, died on
+Sunday, January 29, 1888, at San Remo, Italy, where he had lived for twenty
+years. Few names could evoke a wider expression of passing regret at their
+appearance in the obituary column; for until his health began to fail he
+was known to an immense and almost a cosmopolitan circle of acquaintance,
+and popular wherever he was known. Fewer still could call up in the minds
+of intimate friends a deeper and more enduring feeling of sorrow for
+personal loss, mingled with the pleasantest of memories; for it was
+impossible to know him thoroughly and not to love him. London, Rome, the
+Mediterranean countries generally, Ceylon and India, are still all dotted
+with survivors among his generation who will mourn for him affectionately,
+although his latter years were spent in comparatively close retirement. He
+was a man of striking nobility of nature, fearless, independent, energetic,
+given to forming for himself strong opinions, often hastily, sometimes
+bitterly; not always strong or sound in judgment, but always seeking after
+truth in every matter, and following it as he understood it in scorn of
+consequence; utterly unselfish, devoted to his friends, generous even to
+extravagance towards any one who had ever been connected with his fortunes
+or his travels; playful, light-hearted, witty, and humorous, but not
+without those occasional fits of black depression and nervous irritability
+to which such temperaments are liable.
+
+Great and varied as the merits of his pictures are, Lear hardly succeeded
+in achieving any great popularity as a landscape-painter. His work was
+frequently done on private commission, and he rarely sent in pictures for
+the Academy or other exhibitions. His larger and more highly finished
+landscapes were unequal in technical perfection,--sometimes harsh or cold
+in color, or stiff in composition; sometimes full of imagination, at others
+literal and prosaic,--but always impressive reproductions of interesting or
+peculiar scenery. In later years he used in conversation to qualify himself
+as a "topographical artist;" and the definition was true, though not
+exhaustive. He had an intuitive and a perfectly trained eye for the
+character and beauty of distant mountain lines, the solemnity of rocky
+gorges, the majesty of a single mountain rising from a base of plain or
+sea; and he was equally exact in rendering the true forms of the middle
+distances and the specialties of foreground detail belonging to the various
+lands through which he had wandered as a sketcher. Some of his pictures
+show a mastery which has rarely been equalled over the difficulties of
+painting an immense plain as seen from a height, reaching straight away
+from the eye of the spectator until it is lost in a dim horizon. Sir
+Roderick Murchison used to say that he always understood the geological
+peculiarities of a country he had only studied in Lear's sketches. The
+compliment was thoroughly justified; and it is not every landscape-painter
+to whom it could honestly be paid.
+
+The history of Lear's choice of a career was a curious one. He was the
+youngest of twenty-one children, and, through a family mischance, was
+thrown entirely on the limited resources of an elderly sister at a very
+early age. As a boy he had always dabbled in colors for his own amusement,
+and had been given to poring over the ordinary boys' books upon natural
+history. It occurred to him to try to turn his infant talents to account;
+and he painted upon cardboard a couple of birds in the style which the
+older among us remember as having been called Oriental tinting, took them
+to a small shop, and sold them for fourpence. The kindness of friends, to
+whom he was ever grateful, gave him the opportunity of more serious and
+more remunerative study, and he became a patient and accurate zooelogical
+draughtsman. Many of the birds in the earlier volumes of Gould's
+magnificent folios were drawn for him by Lear. A few years back there were
+eagles alive in the Zooelogical Gardens in Regent's Park to which Lear could
+point as old familiar friends that he had drawn laboriously from claw to
+beak fifty years before. He united with this kind of work the more
+unpleasant occupation of drawing the curiosities of disease or deformity in
+hospitals. One day, as he was busily intent on the portrait of a bird in
+the Zooelogical Gardens, an old gentleman came and looked over his shoulder,
+entered into conversation, and finally said to him, "You must come and draw
+my birds at Knowsley." Lear did not know where Knowsley was, or what it
+meant; but the old gentleman was the thirteenth Earl of Derby. The
+successive Earls of Derby have been among Lear's kindest and most generous
+patrons. He went to Knowsley, and the drawings in the "Knowsley Menagerie"
+(now a rare and highly-prized work among book collectors) are by Lear's
+hand. At Knowsley he became a permanent favorite; and it was there that he
+composed in prolific succession his charming and wonderful series of
+utterly nonsensical rhymes and drawings. Lear had already begun seriously
+to study landscape. When English winters began to threaten his health, Lord
+Derby started a subscription which enabled him to go to Rome as a student
+and artist, and no doubt gave him recommendations among Anglo-Roman
+society which laid the foundations of a numerous _clientele_. It was in the
+Roman summers that Lear first began to exercise the taste for pictorial
+wandering which grew into a habit and a passion, to fill vivid and copious
+note-books as he went, and to illustrate them by spirited and accurate
+drawings; and his first volume of "Illustrated Excursions in Italy,"
+published in 1846, is gratefully dedicated to his Knowsley patron.
+
+Only those who have travelled with him could know what a delightful comrade
+he was to men whose tastes ran more or less parallel to his own. It was not
+everybody who could travel with him; for he was so irrepressibly anxious
+not to lose a moment of the time at his disposal for gathering into his
+garners the beauty and interest of the lands over which he journeyed, that
+he was careless of comfort and health. Calabria, Sicily, the Desert of
+Sinai, Egypt and Nubia, Greece and Albania, Palestine, Syria, Athos,
+Candia, Montenegro, Zagori (who knows now where Zagori is, or was?), were
+as thoroughly explored and sketched by him as the more civilized localities
+of Malta, Corsica, and Corfu. He read insatiably before starting all the
+recognized guide-books and histories of the country he intended to draw;
+and his published itineraries are marked by great strength and literary
+interest quite irrespectively of the illustrations. And he had his reward.
+It is not any ordinary journalist and sketcher who could have compelled
+from Tennyson such a tribute as lines "To E.L. on his Travels in Greece":--
+
+    "Illyrian woodlands, echoing falls
+      Of water, sheets of summer glass,
+      The long divine Peneian pass,
+    The vast Akrokeraunian walls,
+
+    "Tomohrit, Athos, all things fair,
+      With such a pencil, such a pen,
+      You shadow forth to distant men,
+    I read and felt that I was there."
+
+Lear was a man to whom, as to Tennyson's Ulysses,
+
+    "All experience is an arch wherethrough
+    Gleams that untravelled world."
+
+After settling at San Remo, and when he was nearly sixty years old, he
+determined to visit India and Ceylon. He started once and failed, being
+taken so ill at Suez that he was obliged to return. The next year he
+succeeded, and brought away some thousands of drawings of the most striking
+views from all three Presidencies and from the tropical island. His
+appetite for travel continued to grow with what it fed upon; and although
+he hated a long sea-voyage, he used seriously to contemplate as possible a
+visit to relations in New Zealand. It may safely, however, be averred that
+no considerations would have tempted him to visit the Arctic regions.
+
+    A hard-working life, checkered by the odd adventures which happen
+    to the odd and the adventurous and pass over the commonplace; a
+    career brightened by the high appreciation of unimpeachable
+    critics; lightened, till of late, by the pleasant society and good
+    wishes of innumerable friends; saddened by the growing pressure of
+    ill health and solitude; cheered by his constant trust in the love
+    and sympathy of those who knew him best, however far away,--such
+    was the life of Edward Lear.
+
+      --_The London Saturday Review,_ Feb. 4, 1888.
+
+Among the writers who have striven with varying success during the last
+thirty or forty years to awaken the merriment of the "rising generation" of
+the time being, Mr. Edward Lear occupies the first place in seniority, if
+not in merit. The parent of modern nonsense-writers, he is distinguished
+from all his followers and imitators by the superior consistency with which
+he has adhered to his aim,--that of amusing his readers by fantastic
+absurdities, as void of vulgarity or cynicism as they are incapable of
+being made to harbor any symbolical meaning. He "never deviates into
+sense;" but those who appreciate him never feel the need of such deviation.
+He has a genius for coining absurd names and words, which, even when they
+are suggested by the exigencies of his metre, have a ludicrous
+appropriateness to the matter in hand. His verse is, with the exception of
+a certain number of cockney rhymes, wonderfully flowing and even
+melodious--or, as he would say, _meloobious_--while to all these
+qualifications for his task must finally be added the happy gift of
+pictorial expression, enabling him to double, nay, often to quadruple, the
+laughable effect of his text by an inexhaustible profusion of the quaintest
+designs. Generally speaking, these designs are, as it were, an idealization
+of the efforts of a clever child; but now and then--as in the case of the
+nonsense-botany--Mr. Lear reminds us what a genuine and graceful artist he
+really is. The advantage to a humorist of being able to illustrate his own
+text has been shown in the case of Thackeray and Mr. W.S. Gilbert, to
+mention two familiar examples; but in no other instance of such a
+combination have we discovered such geniality as is to be found in the
+nonsense-pictures of Mr. Lear. We have spoken above of the melodiousness of
+Mr. Lear's verses, a quality which renders them excellently suitable for
+musical setting, and which has not escaped the notice of the author
+himself. We have also heard effective arrangements, presumably by other
+composers, of the adventures of the Table and the Chair, and of the cruise
+of the Owl and the Pussy-cat,--the latter introduced into the "drawing-room
+entertainment" of one of the followers of John Parry. Indeed, in these days
+of adaptations, it is to be wondered at that no enterprising librettist has
+attempted to build a children's comic opera out of the materials supplied
+in the four books with which we are now concerned. The first of these,
+originally published in 1846, and brought out in an enlarged form in 1863,
+is exclusively devoted to nonsense-verses of one type. Mr. Lear is careful
+to disclaim the credit of having created this type, for he tells us in the
+preface to his third book that "the lines beginning, 'There was an old man
+of Tobago,' were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+leading itself to limitless variety for Rhymes and Pictures." Dismissing
+the further question of the authorship of "There was an old man of Tobago,"
+we propose to give a few specimens of Mr. Lear's Protean powers as
+exhibited in the variation of this simple type. Here, to begin with, is a
+favorite verse, which we are very glad to have an opportunity of giving, as
+it is often incorrectly quoted, "cocks" being substituted for "owls" in the
+third line:
+
+    "There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard!'"
+
+With the kindly fatalism which is the distinctive note of the foregoing
+stanza, the sentiment of our next extract is in vivid contrast:--
+
+
+    "There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was terribly bored by a bee;
+    When they said, 'Does it buzz?' he replied, 'Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee.'"
+
+To the foregoing verse an historic interest attaches, if, that is, we are
+right in supposing it to have inspired Mr. Gilbert with his famous
+"Nonsense-Rhyme in Blank Verse." We quote from memory:--
+
+    "There was an Old Man of St. Bees,
+    Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
+    When they asked, 'Does it hurt?' he replied, 'No, it doesn't,
+    But I thought all the while 'twas a Hornet!'"
+
+Passing over the lines referring to the "Young Person" of Crete to whom the
+epithet "ombliferous" is applied, we may be pardoned--on the ground of the
+geographical proximity of the two countries named--for quoting together two
+stanzas which in reality are separated by a good many pages:--
+
+    "There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the doors queezed her flat, she exclaimed, 'What of that?'
+    This courageous young person of Norway."
+
+    "There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, 'Weedon Station!' she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden."
+
+A noticeable feature about this first book, and one which we think is
+peculiar to it, is the harsh treatment which the eccentricities of the
+inhabitants of certain towns appear to have met with at the hands of their
+fellow-residents. No less than three people are "smashed,"--the Old Man of
+Whitehaven "who danced a quadrille with a Raven;" the Old Person of Buda;
+and the Old Man with a gong "who bumped at it all the day long," though in
+the last-named case we admit that there was considerable provocation.
+Before quitting the first "Nonsense-Book," we would point out that it
+contains one or two forms that are interesting; for instance, "scroobious,"
+which we take to be a Portmanteau word, and "spickle-speckled," a favorite
+form of reduplication with Mr. Lear, and of which the best specimen occurs
+in his last book, "He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled the bell." The second book,
+published in 1871, shows Mr. Lear in the maturity of sweet desipience, and
+will perhaps remain the favorite volume of the four to grown-up readers.
+The nonsense-songs are all good, and "The Story of the Four little Children
+who went Round the World" is the most exquisite piece of imaginative
+absurdity that the present writer is acquainted with. But before coming to
+that, let us quote a few lines from "The Jumblies," who, as all the world
+knows, went to sea in a sieve:--
+
+      "They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,
+      To a land all covered with trees.
+    And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart,
+    And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart,
+      And a hive of silvery Bees.
+    And they bought a Pig, and some green Jack-Daws,
+    And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws,
+    And forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree,
+      And no end of Stilton Cheese.
+        _Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live.
+        Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve._
+    And in twenty years they all came back,
+      In twenty years or more,
+    And every one said, 'How tall they've grown!
+    For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
+      And the hills of the Chankly Bore.'"
+
+From the pedestrian excursion of the Table and the Chair, we cannot resist
+making a brief quotation, though in this, as in every case, the inability
+to quote the drawings also is a sad drawback:--
+
+    "So they both went slowly down,
+    And walked about the town,
+    With a cheerful bumpy sound,
+    As they toddled round and round.
+    And everybody cried,
+    As they hastened to their side,
+    'See, the Table and the Chair
+    Have come out to take the air!'
+
+    "But in going down an alley
+    To a castle in a valley,
+    They completely lost their way,
+    And wandered all the day,
+    Till, to see them safely back,
+    They paid a Ducky-Quack,
+    And a Beetle and a Mouse,
+    Who took them to their house.
+
+    "Then they whispered to each other,
+    'O delightful little brother,
+    What a lovely walk we've taken!
+    Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!'
+    So the Ducky and the leetle
+    Browny-Mousy, and the Beetle
+    Dined, and danced upon their heads,
+    Till they toddled to their beds."
+
+"The Story of the Four little Children who went Round the World" follows
+next, and the account of the manner in which they occupied themselves while
+on shipboard may be transcribed for the benefit of those unfortunate
+persons who have not perused the original: "During the day-time Violet
+chiefly occupied herself in putting salt-water into a churn, while her
+three brothers churned it violently in the hope it would turn into butter,
+which it seldom if ever did." After journeying for a time, they saw some
+land at a distance, "and when they came to it they found it was an island
+made of water quite surrounded by earth. Besides that it was bordered by
+evanescent isthmuses with a great Gulf-Stream running about all over it, so
+that it was perfectly beautiful, and contained only a single tree, five
+hundred and three feet high." In a later passage, we read how "by-and-by
+the children came to a country where there were no houses, but only an
+incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks, and of a
+dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue bottles
+contained a bluebottlefly, and all these interesting animals live
+continually together in the most copious and rural harmony, nor perhaps in
+many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found."
+Our last quotation from this inimitable recital shall be from the
+description of their adventure on a great plain where they espied an object
+which "on a nearer approach and on an accurately cutaneous inspection,
+seemed to be somebody in a large white wig sitting on an arm-chair made of
+sponge-cake and oyster-shells." This turned out to be the "Co-operative
+Cauliflower," who, "while the whole party from the boat was gazing at him
+with mingled affection and disgust ... suddenly arose, and in a somewhat
+plumdomphious manner hurried off towards the setting sun, his steps
+supported by two superincumbent confidential cucumbers ... till he finally
+disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a crystal cloud of sudorific
+sand. So remarkable a sight of course impressed the four children very
+deeply; and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong sense of
+undeveloped asthma and a great appetite."
+
+In his third book, Mr. Lear takes occasion in an entertaining preface to
+repudiate the charge of harboring any ulterior motive beyond that of
+"Nonsense pure and absolute" in any of his verses or pictures, and tells a
+delightful anecdote illustrative of the "persistently absurd report" that
+the Earl of Derby was the author of the first book of "Nonsense." In this
+volume he reverts once more to the familiar form adopted in his original
+efforts, and with little falling off. It is to be remarked that the third
+division is styled "Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures," although
+there is no more rhyme than reason in any of the set. Our favorite
+illustrations are those of the "Scroobious Snake who always wore a Hat on
+his Head, for fear he should bite anybody," and the "Visibly Vicious
+Vulture who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a Volume bound in
+Vellum." In the fourth and last of Mr. Lear's books, we meet not only with
+familiar words, but personages and places,--old friends like the Jumblies,
+the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, the Quangle Wangle, the hills of the Chankly Bore,
+and the great Gromboolian plain, as well as new creations, such as the Dong
+with a luminous Nose, whose story is a sort of nonsense version of the love
+of Nausicaa for Ulysses, only that the sexes are inverted. In these verses,
+graceful fancy is so subtly interwoven with nonsense as almost to beguile
+us into feeling a real interest in Mr. Lear's absurd creations. So again in
+the Pelican chorus there are some charming lines:--
+
+    "By day we fish, and at eve we stand
+    On long bare islands of yellow sand.
+    And when the sun sinks slowly down,
+    And the great rock-walls grow dark and brown,
+    When the purple river rolls fast and dim,
+    And the ivory Ibis starlike skim,
+    Wing to wing we dance around," etc.
+
+The other nonsense-poems are all good, but we have no space for further
+quotation, and will take leave of our subject by propounding the following
+set of examination questions which a friend who is deeply versed in Mr.
+Lear's books has drawn up for us:--
+
+  1. What do you gather from a study of Mr. Lear's works to
+     have been the prevalent characteristics of the inhabitants of
+     Gretna, Prague, Thermopylae, Wick, and Hong Kong?
+
+  2. State briefly what historical events are connected with
+     Ischia, Chertsey, Whitehaven, Boulak, and Jellibolee.
+
+  3. Comment, with illustrations, upon Mr. Lear's use of the
+     following words: Runcible, propitious, dolomphious, borascible,
+     fizzgiggious, himmeltanious, tumble-dum-down, spongetaneous.
+
+  4. Enumerate accurately all the animals who lived on the
+     Quangle Wangle's Hat, and explain how the Quangle Wangle
+     was enabled at once to enlighten his five travelling companions
+     as to the true nature of the Co-operative Cauliflower.
+
+  5. What were the names of the five daughters of the Old
+     Person of China, and what was the purpose for which the
+     Old Man of the Dargle purchased six barrels of Gargle?
+
+  6. Collect notices of King Xerxes in Mr. Lear's works, and
+     state your theory, if you have any, as to the character and
+     appearance of Nupiter Piffkin.
+
+  7. Draw pictures of the Plum-pudding flea, and the Moppsikon
+     Floppsikon Bear, and state by whom waterproof tubs
+     were first used.
+
+  8.         "There was an old man at a station
+               Who made a promiscuous oration."
+
+     What bearing may we assume the foregoing couplet to have
+     upon Mr. Lear's political views?
+                                   --_The London Spectator_.
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+A BOOK OF NONSENSE
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR.
+
+With All the Original Pictures and Verses
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+There was an Old Derry down Derry, who loved to see little folks
+  merry;
+    So he made them a Book, and with laughter they shook
+      At the fun of that Derry down Derry.
+
+
+
+                 Original Dedication.
+
+                       TO THE
+ GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES
+           OF EDWARD, 13TH EARL OF DERBY,
+          THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES
+
+     (The greater part of which were originally
+         made and composed for their parents.)
+
+               Is Dedicated by the Author,
+                                          EDWARD LEAR.
+
+       London, 1862.
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a nose,
+    Who said, "If you choose to suppose
+    That my nose is too long, you are certainly wrong!"
+    That remarkable Man with a nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Smyrna,
+    Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;
+    But she seized on the Cat, and said, "Granny, burn that!
+    You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on a hill,
+    Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
+    He ran up and down in his Grandmother's gown,
+    Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chili,
+    Whose conduct was painful and silly;
+    He sate on the stairs, eating apples and pears,
+    That imprudent Old Person of Chili.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a gong,
+    Who bumped at it all the day long;
+    But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
+    Who never had more than a penny;
+    He spent all that money in onions and honey,
+    That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Columbia,
+    Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;
+    But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot,
+    Which disgusted that man of Columbia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
+    When they said, "Does it buzz?" he replied, "Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,
+    Who made a remarkable curtsey;
+    She twirled round and round, till she sank underground,
+    Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose chin
+    Resembled the point of a pin;
+    So she had it made sharp, and purchased a harp,
+    And played several tunes with her chin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a flute,--
+    A "sarpint" ran into his boot!
+    But he played day and night, till the "sarpint" took flight,
+    And avoided that Man with a flute.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
+    Whose ideas were excessively nautical;
+    She climbed up a tree to examine the sea,
+    But declared she would never leave Portugal.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ischia,
+    Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;
+    He danced hornpipes and jigs, and ate thousands of figs,
+    That lively Old Person of Ischia
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vienna,
+    Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;
+    When that did not agree, he took Camomile Tea,
+    That nasty Old Man of Vienna.
+
+    [Illustraion]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a boat,
+    Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"
+    When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint,
+    That unhappy Old Man in a boat.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Buda,
+    Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,
+    Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.
+    By smashing that Person of Buda.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
+    Who had the most curious behavior;
+    For while he was able, he slept on a table,
+    That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Hurst,
+    Who drank when he was not athirst;
+    When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"
+    That globular Person of Hurst.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Madras,
+    Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;
+    But the length of its ears so promoted his fears,
+    That it killed that Old Man of Madras.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dover,
+    Who rushed through a field of blue clover;
+    But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees,
+    So he very soon went back to Dover.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Leeds,
+    Whose head was infested with beads;
+    She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool,
+    Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cadiz,
+    Who was always polite to all ladies;
+    But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water,
+    Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Isles,
+    Whose face was pervaded with smiles;
+    He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle,
+    That amiable Man of the Isles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Basing,
+    Whose presence of mind was amazing;
+    He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed,
+    And escaped from the people of Basing.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who supposed
+    That the street door was partially closed;
+    But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats,
+    While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person whose habits
+    Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;
+    When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green,
+    Upon which he relinquished those habits.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who wore a pale plum-colored vest;
+    When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!"
+    That uneasy Old Man of the West.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Marseilles,
+    Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils:
+    They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish,
+    And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,
+    Whose shoes made a horrible creaking;
+    But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather,
+    Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose nose
+    Was so long that it reached to her toes;
+    So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady,
+    To carry that wonderful nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?"
+    This courageous Young Lady of Norway.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Apulia,
+    Whose conduct was very peculiar;
+    He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns,
+    That whimsical Man of Apulia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Quebec,--
+    A beetle ran over his neck;
+    But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!"
+    That angry Old Man of Quebec.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Bute,
+    Who played on a silver-gilt flute;
+    She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs:
+    That amusing Young Lady of Bute.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Philoe,
+    Whose conduct was scroobious and wily;
+    He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm,
+    And observed all the ruins of Philoe.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a poker,
+    Who painted his face with red ochre.
+    When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply,
+    But knocked them all down with his poker.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Prague,
+    Who was suddenly seized with the plague;
+    But they gave him some butter, which caused him to mutter,
+    And cured that Old Person of Prague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru,
+    Who watched his wife making a stew;
+    But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake
+    That unfortunate Man of Peru.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the North,
+    Who fell into a basin of broth;
+    But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook,
+    Which saved that Old Man of the North.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Troy,
+    Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,
+    Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon,
+    In sight of the city of Troy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Mold,
+    Who shrank from sensations of cold;
+    So he purchased some muffs, some furs, and some fluffs,
+    And wrapped himself well from the cold.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tring,
+    Who embellished his nose with a ring;
+    He gazed at the moon every evening in June,
+    That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Nepaul,
+    From his horse had a terrible fall;
+    But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue
+    They mended that man of Nepaul.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Nile,
+    Who sharpened his nails with a file,
+    Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly, "This comes
+    Of sharpening one's nails with a file!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,
+    So blind that he couldn't his foot see;
+    When they said, "That's your toe," he replied, "Is it so?"
+    That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Calcutta,
+    Who perpetually ate bread and butter;
+    Till a great bit of muffin, on which he was stuffing,
+    Choked that horrid Old Man of Calcutta.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
+    Who strongly objected to toads;
+    He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens,
+    That futile Old Person of Rhodes.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the South,
+    Who had an immoderate mouth;
+    But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish,
+    He was choked, that Old Man of the South.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Melrose,
+    Who walked on the tips of his toes;
+    But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present,
+    You stupid Old Man of Melrose."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Dee,
+    Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;
+    When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
+    Whose lovers completely forsook her;
+    She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"
+    Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Coblenz,
+    The length of whose legs was immense;
+    He went with one prance from Turkey to France,
+    That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
+    Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;
+    But one day, to his grief, she married a thief,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Corfu,
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown,
+    That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,
+    Who studied the works of Vitruvius;
+    When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took,
+    That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Dundee,
+    Who frequented the top of a tree;
+    When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose,
+    And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady whose folly
+    Induced her to sit in a holly;
+    Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn,
+    She quickly became melancholy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on some rocks,
+    Who shut his Wife up in a box:
+    When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt
+    You will pass all your life in that box."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rheims,
+    Who was troubled with horrible dreams;
+    So to keep him awake they fed him with cake,
+    Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
+    The smallest that ever was born;
+    But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy,
+    Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a pew,
+    Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;
+    But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces,
+    That cheerful Old Man in a pew.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
+    Who suddenly married a Quaker;
+    But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"
+    Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "How
+    Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
+    I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile,
+    Which may soften the heart of that Cow."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Troy,
+    Whom several large flies did annoy;
+    Some she killed with a thump, some she drowned at the pump,
+    And some she took with her to Troy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Hull,
+    Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
+    But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?"
+    Which distracted that virulent Bull.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dutton,
+    Whose head was as small as a button;
+    So to make it look big he purchased a wig,
+    And rapidly rushed about Dutton.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
+    I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
+    When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all;
+    It is four times as big as the bush!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Russia,
+    Who screamed so that no one could hush her;
+    Her screams were extreme,--no one heard such a scream
+    As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
+    Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
+    At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep,
+    And enchanted the city of Tyre.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Bangor,
+    Whose face was distorted with anger;
+    He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,
+    That borascible Person of Bangor.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the East,
+    Who gave all his children a feast;
+    But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,
+    That it killed that Old Man of the East.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Coast,
+    Who placidly sat on a post;
+    But when it was cold he relinquished his hold,
+    And called for some hot buttered toast.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
+    Who possessed a remarkably fat Cur;
+    His gait and his waddle were held as a model
+    To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Gretna,
+    Who rushed down the crater of Etna;
+    When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!"
+    That mendacious Old Person of Gretna.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who sat on a Horse when he reared;
+    But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,
+    You propitious Old Man with a beard!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Berlin,
+    Whose form was uncommonly thin;
+    Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,
+    So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who never could get any rest;
+    So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,
+    Which cured that Old Man of the West.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cheadle
+    Was put in the stocks by the Beadle
+    For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,
+    That horrible person of Cheadle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Anerley,
+    Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;
+    He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,
+    But returned in the evening to Anerley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Wales,
+    Who caught a large Fish without scales;
+    When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!"
+    That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Welling,
+    Whose praise all the world was a-telling;
+    She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,
+    That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tartary,
+    Who divided his jugular artery;
+    But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life!
+    Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
+    Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;
+    But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chester,
+    Whom several small children did pester;
+    They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,
+    And displeased that Old Person of Chester.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Cape,
+    Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;
+    Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,
+    Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Burton,
+    Whose answers were rather uncertain;
+    When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?"
+    That distressing Old Person of Burton.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ems
+    Who casually fell in the Thames;
+    And when he was found, they said he was drowned,
+    That unlucky Old Person of Ems.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
+    Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;
+    She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,
+    Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Poole,
+    Whose soup was excessively cool;
+    So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,
+    That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Prague,
+    Whose language was horribly vague;
+    When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!"
+    That oracular Lady of Prague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Parma,
+    Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:
+    When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!"
+    That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Sparta,
+    Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"
+    He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,
+    That wonderful Person of Sparta.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on whose nose
+    Most birds of the air could repose;
+    But they all flew away at the closing of day,
+    Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
+    Who wept when the weather was murky;
+    When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,
+    That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Aosta
+    Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;
+    But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,
+    You invidious Old Man of Aosta?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Crete,
+    Whose toilette was far from complete;
+    She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,
+    That ombliferous Person of Crete.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Clare,
+    Who was madly pursued by a Bear;
+    When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,
+    That unfortunate Lady of Clare.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
+    Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
+    But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,
+    That she very soon went back to Dorking.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
+    Who wished he had never been born;
+    So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,
+    That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Person of Cromer,
+    Who stood on one leg to read Homer;
+    When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,
+    Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Hague,
+    Whose ideas were excessively vague;
+    He built a balloon to examine the moon,
+    That deluded Old Man of the Hague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Spain,
+    Who hated all trouble and pain;
+    So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,
+    That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Well!
+    Will _nobody_ answer this bell?
+    I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white,
+    But nobody answers this bell!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with an Owl,
+    Who continued to bother and howl;
+    He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,
+    Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a casement,
+    Who held up his hands in amazement;
+    When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" he replied, "Not at all!"
+    That incipient Old Man in a casement.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ewell,
+    Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
+    But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,
+    Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru.
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,
+    That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, "It is just as I feared!--
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose eyes
+    Were unique as to color and size;
+    When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,
+    And started away in surprise.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
+    Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
+    She purchased some clogs, and some small spotty Dogs,
+    And frequently walked about Ryde.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose bonnet
+    Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
+    But she said, "I don't care! all the birds in the air
+    Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+NONSENSE SONGS
+
+Stories, Botany, and Alphabets
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR.
+
+With One Hundred and Fifty Illustrations
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+    NONSENSE SONGS.
+        THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT
+        THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO
+        THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY
+        THE JUMBLIES
+        THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS
+        CALICO PIE
+        MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW
+        THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS THE TABLE AND THE
+        CHAIR
+
+    NONSENSE STORIES.
+        THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD
+        THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE
+
+    NONSENSE COOKERY
+
+    NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+    NONSENSE ALPHABET, No. 1
+      "  "  No. 2
+      "  "  No. 3
+
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE SONGS.
+
+
+THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea
+      In a beautiful pea-green boat:
+    They took some honey, and plenty of money
+      Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
+    The Owl looked up to the stars above,
+      And sang to a small guitar,
+   "O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,
+        What a beautiful Pussy you are,
+          You are,
+          You are!
+      What a beautiful Pussy you are!"
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,
+      How charmingly sweet you sing!
+    Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried:
+      But what shall we do for a ring?"
+    They sailed away, for a year and a day,
+      To the land where the bong-tree grows;
+    And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,
+      With a ring at the end of his nose,
+          His nose,
+          His nose,
+      With a ring at the end of his nose.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    "Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
+      Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."
+    So they took it away, and were married next day
+      By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
+    They dined on mince and slices of quince,
+      Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
+    And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
+      They danced by the light of the moon,
+          The moon,
+          The moon,
+    They danced by the light of the moon.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    Said the Duck to the Kangaroo,
+       "Good gracious! how you hop
+    Over the fields, and the water too,
+        As if you never would stop!
+    My life is a bore in this nasty pond;
+    And I long to go out in the world beyond:
+        I wish I could hop like you,"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+   "Please give me a ride on your back,"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo:
+   "I would sit quite still, and say nothing but 'Quack'
+        The whole of the long day through;
+    And we 'd go the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee,
+    Over the land, and over the sea:
+        Please take me a ride! oh, do!"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    Said the Kangaroo to the Duck,
+       "This requires some little reflection.
+    Perhaps, on the whole, it might bring me luck;
+        And there seems but one objection;
+    Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold,
+    Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold,
+        And would probably give me the roo-
+        Matiz," said the Kangaroo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    Said the Duck, "As I sate on the rocks,
+        I have thought over that completely;
+    And I bought four pairs of worsted socks,
+        Which fit my web-feet neatly;
+    And, to keep out the cold, I've bought a cloak;
+    And every day a cigar I'll smoke;
+        All to follow my own dear true
+        Love of a Kangaroo."
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Said the Kangaroo, "I'm ready,
+        All in the moonlight pale;
+    But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady,
+        And quite at the end of my tail."
+    So away they went with a hop and a bound;
+    And they hopped the whole world three times round.
+        And who so happy, oh! who,
+        As the Duck and the Kangaroo?
+
+             [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    Once Mr. Daddy Long-legs,
+        Dressed in brown and gray,
+    Walked about upon the sands
+        Upon a summer's day:
+    And there among the pebbles,
+        When the wind was rather cold,
+    He met with Mr. Floppy Fly,
+        All dressed in blue and gold;
+    And, as it was too soon to dine,
+    They drank some periwinkle-wine,
+    And played an hour or two, or more,
+    At battlecock and shuttledore.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        To Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "Why do you never come to court?
+        I wish you 'd tell me why.
+    All gold and shine, in dress so fine,
+        You'd quite delight the court.
+    Why do you never go at all?
+        I really think you _ought_.
+    And, if you went, you'd see such sights!
+    Such rugs and jugs and candle-lights!
+    And, more than all, the king and queen,--
+    One in red, and one in green."
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    "O Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"
+        Said Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "It's true I never go to court;
+        And I will tell you why.
+    If I had six long legs like yours,
+        At once I'd go to court;
+    But, oh! I can't, because _my_ legs
+        Are so extremely short.
+    And I'm afraid the king and queen
+    (One in red, and one in green)
+    Would say aloud, 'You are not fit,
+    You Fly, to come to court a bit!'"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    "Oh, Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"
+        Said Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "I wish you 'd sing one little song,
+        One mumbian melody.
+    You used to sing so awful well
+        In former days gone by;
+    But now you never sing at all:
+        I wish you'd tell me why:
+    For, if you would, the silvery sound
+    Would please the shrimps and cockles round,
+    And all the crabs would gladly come
+    To hear you sing, 'Ah, Hum di Hum!'"
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs,
+       "I can never sing again;
+    And, if you wish, I'll tell you why,
+        Although it gives me pain.
+    For years I cannot hum a bit,
+        Or sing the smallest song;
+    And this the dreadful reason is,--
+        My legs are grown too long!
+    My six long legs, all here and there,
+    Oppress my bosom with despair;
+    And, if I stand or lie or sit,
+    I cannot sing one single bit!"
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+    So Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        And Mr. Floppy Fly
+    Sat down in silence by the sea,
+        And gazed upon the sky.
+    They said, "This is a dreadful thing!
+        The world has all gone wrong,
+    Since one has legs too short by half,
+        The other much too long.
+    One never more can go to court,
+    Because his legs have grown too short;
+    The other cannot sing a song,
+    Because his legs have grown too long!"
+
+
+                    VII.
+
+    Then Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        And Mr. Floppy Fly
+    Rushed downward to the foamy sea
+        With one sponge-taneous cry:
+    And there they found a little boat,
+        Whose sails were pink and gray;
+    And off they sailed among the waves,
+        Far and far away:
+    They sailed across the silent main,
+    And reached the great Gromboolian Plain;
+    And there they play forevermore
+    At battlecock and shuttledore.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE JUMBLIES.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    They went to sea in a sieve, they did;
+        In a sieve they went to sea:
+    In spite of all their friends could say,
+    On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
+        In a sieve they went to sea.
+    And when the sieve turned round and round,
+    And every one cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
+    They called aloud, "Our sieve ain't big;
+    But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig:
+        In a sieve we'll go to sea!"
+             Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+             Their heads are green, and their hands are blue
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    They sailed away in a sieve, they did,
+        In a sieve they sailed so fast,
+    With only a beautiful pea-green veil
+    Tied with a ribbon, by way of a sail,
+        To a small tobacco-pipe mast.
+    And every one said who saw them go,
+   "Oh! won't they be soon upset, you know?
+    For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long;
+    And, happen what may, it's extremely wrong
+        In a sieve to sail so fast."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    The water it soon came in, it did;
+        The water it soon came in:
+    So, to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
+        In a pinky paper all folded neat;
+    And they fastened it down with a pin.
+    And they passed the night in a crockery-jar;
+    And each of them said, "How wise we are!
+    Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,
+    Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,
+        While round in our sieve we spin."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    And all night long they sailed away;
+        And when the sun went down,
+    They whistled and warbled a moony song
+        To the echoing sound of a coppery gong,
+    In the shade of the mountains brown.
+   "O Timballoo! How happy we are
+    When we live in a sieve and a crockery-jar!
+    And all night long, in the moonlight pale,
+    We sail away with a pea-green sail
+        In the shade of the mountains brown."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,--
+        To a land all covered with trees:
+    And they bought an owl, and a useful cart,
+        And a pound of rice, and a cranberry-tart,
+    And a hive of silvery bees;
+    And they bought a pig, and some green jackdaws,
+    And a lovely monkey with lollipop paws,
+    And forty bottles of ring-bo-ree,
+        And no end of Stilton cheese.
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    And in twenty years they all came back,--
+        In twenty years or more;
+    And every one said, "How tall they've grown!
+        For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
+    And the hills of the Chankly Bore."
+    And they drank their health, and gave them a feast
+    Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast;
+    And every one said, "If we only live,
+    We, too, will go to sea in a sieve,
+        To the hills of the Chankly Bore."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+
+
+THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    The Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table;
+        The Sugar-tongs sate by a plate at his side;
+    And the Nutcrackers said, "Don't you wish we were able
+        Along the blue hills and green meadows to ride?
+    Must we drag on this stupid existence forever,
+        So idle and weary, so full of remorse,
+    While every one else takes his pleasure, and never
+        Seems happy unless he is riding a horse?
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    "Don't you think we could ride without being instructed,
+        Without any saddle or bridle or spur?
+    Our legs are so long, and so aptly constructed,
+        I'm sure that an accident could not occur.
+    Let us all of a sudden hop down from the table,
+        And hustle downstairs, and each jump on a horse!
+    Shall we try? Shall we go? Do you think we are able?"
+        The Sugar-tongs answered distinctly, "Of course!"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    So down the long staircase they hopped in a minute;
+        The Sugar-tongs snapped, and the Crackers said "Crack!"
+    The stable was open; the horses were in it:
+        Each took out a pony, and jumped on his back.
+    The Cat in a fright scrambled out of the doorway;
+        The Mice tumbled out of a bundle of hay;
+    The brown and white Rats, and the black ones from Norway,
+        Screamed out, "They are taking the horses away!"
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    The whole of the household was filled with amazement:
+        The Cups and the Saucers danced madly about;
+    The Plates and the Dishes looked out of the casement;
+        The Salt-cellar stood on his head with a shout;
+    The Spoons, with a clatter, looked out of the lattice;
+        The Mustard-pot climbed up the gooseberry-pies;
+    The Soup-ladle peeped through a heap of veal-patties,
+        And squeaked with a ladle-like scream of surprise.
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    The Frying-pan said, "It's an awful delusion!"
+        The Tea-kettle hissed, and grew black in the face;
+    And they all rushed downstairs in the wildest confusion
+        To see the great Nutcracker-Sugar-tong race.
+    And out of the stable, with screamings and laughter
+        (Their ponies were cream-colored, speckled with brown),
+    The Nutcrackers first, and the Sugar-tongs after;
+        Rode all round the yard, and then all round the town.
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    They rode through the street, and they rode by the station;
+        They galloped away to the beautiful shore;
+    In silence they rode, and "made no observation,"
+        Save this: "We will never go back any more!"
+    And still you might hear, till they rode out of hearing,
+        The Sugar-tongs snap, and the Crackers say "Crack!"
+    Till, far in the distance their forms disappearing,
+        They faded away; and they never came back!
+
+
+
+
+CALICO PIE.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+      Calico pie,
+      The little birds fly
+    Down to the calico-tree:
+      Their wings were blue,
+      And they sang "Tilly-loo!"
+      Till away they flew;
+        And they never came back to me!
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back,
+        They never came back to me!
+
+
+                     II.
+
+      Calico jam,
+      The little Fish swam
+    Over the Syllabub Sea.
+      He took off his hat
+      To the Sole and the Sprat,
+      And the Willeby-wat:
+        But he never came back to me;
+          He never came back,
+          He never came back,
+        He never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+                     III.
+
+      Calico ban,
+      The little Mice ran
+    To be ready in time for tea;
+      Flippity flup,
+      They drank it all up,
+      And danced in the cup:
+        But they never came back to me;
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back,
+        They never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+      Calico drum,
+      The Grasshoppers come,
+    The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee,
+      Over the ground,
+      Around and round,
+      With a hop and a bound;
+        But they never came back,
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back.
+        They never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    On a little piece of wood
+    Mr. Spikky Sparrow stood:
+    Mrs. Sparrow sate close by,
+    A-making of an insect-pie
+    For her little children five,
+    In the nest and all alive;
+    Singing with a cheerful smile,
+    To amuse them all the while,
+       "Twikky wikky wikky wee,
+        Wikky bikky twikky tee,
+            Spikky bikky bee!"
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    Mrs. Spikky Sparrow said,
+    "Spikky, darling! in my head
+    Many thoughts of trouble come,
+    Like to flies upon a plum.
+    All last night, among the trees,
+    I heard you cough, I heard you sneeze;
+    And thought I, 'It's come to that
+    Because he does not wear a hat!'
+        Chippy wippy sikky tee,
+        Bikky wikky tikky mee,
+            Spikky chippy wee!
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    "Not that you are growing old;
+    But the nights are growing cold.
+    No one stays out all night long
+    Without a hat: I'm sure it's wrong!"
+    Mr. Spikky said, "How kind,
+    Dear, you are, to speak your mind!
+    All your life I wish you luck!
+    You are, you are, a lovely duck!
+        Witchy witchy witchy wee,
+        Twitchy witchy witchy bee,
+            Tikky tikky tee!
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    "I was also sad, and thinking,
+    When one day I saw you winking,
+    And I heard you sniffle-snuffle,
+    And I saw your feathers ruffle:
+    To myself I sadly said,
+    'She's neuralgia in her head!
+    That dear head has nothing on it!
+    Ought she not to wear a bonnet?'
+        Witchy kitchy kitchy wee,
+        Spikky wikky mikky bee,
+            Chippy wippy chee!
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    "Let us both fly up to town:
+    There I'll buy you such a gown!
+    Which, completely in the fashion,
+    You shall tie a sky-blue sash on;
+    And a pair of slippers neat
+    To fit your darling little feet,
+    So that you will look and feel
+    Quite galloobious and genteel.
+        Jikky wikky bikky see,
+        Chicky bikky wikky bee,
+            Twicky witchy wee!"
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    So they both to London went,
+    Alighting on the Monument;
+    Whence they flew down swiftly--pop!
+    Into Moses' wholesale shop:
+    There they bought a hat and bonnet,
+    And a gown with spots upon it,
+    A satin sash of Cloxam blue,
+    And a pair of slippers too.
+        Zikky wikky mikky bee,
+        Witchy witchy mitchy kee,
+            Sikky tikky wee!
+
+
+                     VII.
+
+    Then, when so completely dressed,
+    Back they flew, and reached their nest.
+    Their children cried, "O ma and pa!
+    How truly beautiful you are!"
+    Said they, "We trust that cold or pain
+    We shall never feel again;
+    While, perched on tree or house or steeple,
+    We now shall look like other people.
+        Witchy witchy witchy wee,
+        Twikky mikky bikky bee,
+            Zikky sikky tee!"
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,
+      They all took a drive in the Park;
+    And they each sang a song, ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+      Before they went back in the dark.
+    Mr. Poker he sate quite upright in the coach;
+      Mr. Tongs made a clatter and clash;
+    Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch);
+      Mrs. Broom was in blue (with a sash).
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        And they all sang a song.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+   "O Shovely so lovely!" the Poker he sang,
+     "You have perfectly conquered my heart.
+    Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong! If you're pleased with my song,
+      I will feed you with cold apple-tart.
+    When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound,
+      You enrapture my life with delight,
+    Your nose is so shiny, your head is so round,
+      And your shape is so slender and bright!
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        Ain't you pleased with my song?"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+   "Alas! Mrs. Broom," sighed the Tongs in his song,
+     "Oh! is it because I'm so thin,
+    And my legs are so long,--ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!--
+      That you don't care about me a pin?
+    Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room,
+      Ah! why don't you heed my complaint?
+    Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom,
+      Because you are covered with paint?
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        You are certainly wrong."
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    Mrs. Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang,
+     "What nonsense you're singing to-day!"
+    Said the Shovel, "I'll certainly hit you a bang!"
+      Said the Broom, "And I'll sweep you away!"
+    So the coachman drove homeward as fast as he could,
+      Perceiving their anger with pain;
+    But they put on the kettle, and little by little
+      They all became happy again.
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        There's an end of my song.
+
+
+
+
+THE TABLE AND THE CHAIR.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    Said the Table to the Chair,
+    "You can hardly be aware
+    How I suffer from the heat
+    And from chilblains on my feet.
+    If we took a little walk,
+    We might have a little talk;
+    Pray let us take the air,"
+    Said the Table to the Chair.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    Said the Chair unto the Table,
+    "Now, you _know_ we are not able:
+    How foolishly you talk,
+    When you know we _cannot_ walk!"
+    Said the Table with a sigh,
+    "It can do no harm to try.
+    I've as many legs as you:
+    Why can't we walk on two?"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    So they both went slowly down,
+    And walked about the town
+    With a cheerful bumpy sound
+    As they toddled round and round;
+    And everybody cried,
+    As they hastened to their side,
+    "See! the Table and the Chair
+    Have come out to take the air!"
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    But in going down an alley,
+    To a castle in a valley,
+    They completely lost their way,
+    And wandered all the day;
+    Till, to see them safely back,
+    They paid a Ducky-quack,
+    And a Beetle, and a Mouse,
+    Who took them to their house.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    Then they whispered to each other,
+    "O delightful little brother,
+    What a lovely walk we've taken!
+    Let us dine on beans and bacon."
+    So the Ducky and the leetle
+    Browny-Mousy and the Beetle
+    Dined, and danced upon their heads
+    Till they toddled to their beds.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE STORIES.
+
+
+THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD.
+
+Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little people whose
+names were
+
+[Illustration]
+
+VIOLET, SLINGSBY, GUY, and LIONEL;
+and they all thought they should like to see the world. So they bought a
+large boat to sail quite round the world by sea, and then they were to come
+back on the other side by land. The boat was painted blue with green spots,
+and the sail was yellow with red stripes: and, when they set off, they only
+took a small Cat to steer and look after the boat, besides an elderly
+Quangle-Wangle, who had to cook the dinner and make the tea; for which
+purposes they took a large kettle.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+For the first ten days they sailed on beautifully, and found plenty to eat,
+as there were lots of fish; and they had only to take them out of the sea
+with a long spoon, when the Quangle-Wangle instantly cooked them; and the
+Pussy-Cat was fed with the bones, with which she expressed herself pleased,
+on the whole: so that all the party were very happy.
+
+During the daytime, Violet chiefly occupied herself in putting salt water
+into a churn; while her three brothers churned it violently, in the hope
+that it would turn into butter, which it seldom if ever did; and in the
+evening they all retired into the tea-kettle, where they all managed to
+sleep very comfortably, while Pussy and the Quangle-Wangle managed the
+boat.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After a time, they saw some land at a distance; and, when they came to it,
+they found it was an island made of water quite surrounded by earth.
+Besides that, it was bordered by evanescent isthmuses, with a great
+gulf-stream running about all over it; so that it was perfectly beautiful,
+and contained only a single tree, 503 feet high.
+
+When they had landed, they walked about, but found, to their great
+surprise, that the island was quite full of veal-cutlets and
+chocolate-drops, and nothing else. So they all climbed up the single high
+tree to discover, if possible, if there were any people; but having
+remained on the top of the tree for a week, and not seeing anybody, they
+naturally concluded that there were no inhabitants; and accordingly, when
+they came down, they loaded the boat with two thousand veal-cutlets and a
+million of chocolate-drops; and these afforded them sustenance for more
+than a month, during which time they pursued their voyage with the utmost
+delight and apathy.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After this they came to a shore where there were no less than sixty-five
+great red parrots with blue tails, sitting on a rail all of a row, and all
+fast asleep. And I am sorry to say that the Pussy-Cat and the
+Quangle-Wangle crept softly, and bit off the tail-feathers of all the
+sixty-five parrots; for which Violet reproved them both severely.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Notwithstanding which, she proceeded to insert all the feathers--two
+hundred and sixty in number--in her bonnet; thereby causing it to have a
+lovely and glittering appearance, highly prepossessing and efficacious.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The next thing that happened to them was in a narrow part of the sea, which
+was so entirely full of fishes that the boat could go on no farther: so
+they remained there about six weeks, till they had eaten nearly all the
+fishes, which were soles, and all ready-cooked, and covered with
+shrimp-sauce, so that there was no trouble whatever. And as the few fishes
+who remained uneaten complained of the cold, as well as of the difficulty
+they had in getting any sleep on account of the extreme noise made by the
+arctic bears and the tropical turnspits, which frequented the neighborhood
+in great numbers, Violet most amiably knitted a small woollen frock for
+several of the fishes, and Slingsby administered some opium-drops to them;
+through which kindness they became quite warm, and slept soundly.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Then they came to a country which was wholly covered with immense
+orange-trees of a vast size, and quite full of fruit. So they all landed,
+taking with them the tea-kettle, intending to gather some of the oranges,
+and place them in it. But, while they were busy about this, a most
+dreadfully high wind rose, and blew out most of the parrot-tail feathers
+from Violet's bonnet. That, however, was nothing compared with the calamity
+of the oranges falling down on their heads by millions and millions, which
+thumped and bumped and bumped and thumped them all so seriously, that they
+were obliged to run as hard as they could for their lives; besides that the
+sound of the oranges rattling on the tea-kettle was of the most fearful and
+amazing nature.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Nevertheless, they got safely to the boat, although considerably vexed and
+hurt; and the Quangle-Wangle's right foot was so knocked about, that he had
+to sit with his head in his slipper for at least a week.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+This event made them all for a time rather melancholy: and perhaps they
+might never have become less so, had not Lionel, with a most praiseworthy
+devotion and perseverance, continued to stand on one leg, and whistle to
+them in a loud and lively manner; which diverted the whole party so
+extremely that they gradually recovered their spirits, and agreed that
+whenever they should reach home, they would subscribe towards a testimonial
+to Lionel, entirely made of gingerbread and raspberries, as an earnest
+token of their sincere and grateful infection.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After sailing on calmly for several more days, they came to another
+country, where they were much pleased and surprised to see a countless
+multitude of white Mice with red eyes, all sitting in a great circle,
+slowly eating custard-pudding with the most satisfactory and polite
+demeanor.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And as the four travellers were rather hungry, being tired of eating
+nothing but soles and oranges for so long a period, they held a council as
+to the propriety of asking the Mice for some of their pudding in a humble
+and affecting manner, by which they could hardly be otherwise than
+gratified. It was agreed, therefore, that Guy should go and ask the Mice,
+which he immediately did; and the result was, that they gave a walnut-shell
+only half full of custard diluted with water. Now, this displeased Guy, who
+said, "Out of such a lot of pudding as you have got, I must say, you might
+have spared a somewhat larger quantity." But no sooner had he finished
+speaking than the Mice turned round at once, and sneezed at him in an
+appalling and vindictive manner (and it is impossible to imagine a more
+scroobious and unpleasant sound than that caused by the simultaneous
+sneezing of many millions of angry Mice); so that Guy rushed back to the
+boat, having first shied his cap into the middle of the custard-pudding, by
+which means he completely spoiled the Mice's dinner.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+By and by the four children came to a country where there were no houses,
+but only an incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks,
+and of a dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue
+bottles contained a Blue-Bottle-Fly; and all these interesting animals live
+continually together in the most copious and rural harmony: nor perhaps in
+many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found.
+Violet and Slingsby and Guy and Lionel were greatly struck with this
+singular and instructive settlement; and, having previously asked
+permission of the Blue-Bottle-Flies (which was most courteously granted),
+the boat was drawn up to the shore, and they proceeded to make tea in front
+of the bottles: but as they had no tea-leaves, they merely placed some
+pebbles in the hot water; and the Quangle-Wangle played some tunes over it
+on an accordion, by which, of course, tea was made directly, and of the
+very best quality.
+
+The four children then entered into conversation with the
+Blue-Bottle-Flies, who discoursed in a placid and genteel manner, though
+with a slightly buzzing accent, chiefly owing to the fact that they each
+held a small clothes-brush between their teeth, which naturally occasioned
+a fizzy, extraneous utterance.
+
+"Why," said Violet, "would you kindly inform us, do you reside in bottles;
+and, if in bottles at all, why not, rather, in green or purple, or, indeed,
+in yellow bottles?"
+
+To which questions a very aged Blue-Bottle-Fly answered, "We found the
+bottles here all ready to live in; that is to say, our great-great-great-
+great-great-grandfathers did: so we occupied them at once. And, when the
+winter comes on, we turn the bottles upside down, and consequently rarely
+feel the cold at all; and you know very well that this could not be the
+case with bottles of any other color than blue."
+
+"Of course it could not," said Slingsby. "But, if we may take the liberty
+of inquiring, on what do you chiefly subsist?"
+
+"Mainly on oyster-patties," said the Blue-Bottle-Fly; "and, when these are
+scarce, on raspberry vinegar and Russian leather boiled down to a jelly."
+
+"How delicious!" said Guy.
+
+To which Lionel added, "Huzz!" And all the Blue-Bottle-Flies said, "Buzz!"
+
+At this time, an elderly Fly said it was the hour for the evening-song to
+be sung; and, on a signal being given, all the Blue-Bottle-Flies began to
+buzz at once in a sumptuous and sonorous manner, the melodious and
+mucilaginous sounds echoing all over the waters, and resounding across the
+tumultuous tops of the transitory titmice upon the intervening and verdant
+mountains with a serene and sickly suavity only known to the truly
+virtuous. The Moon was shining slobaciously from the star-bespangled sky,
+while her light irrigated the smooth and shiny sides and wings and backs of
+the Blue-Bottle-Flies with a peculiar and trivial splendor, while all
+Nature cheerfully responded to the cerulean and conspicuous circumstances.
+
+In many long-after years, the four little travellers looked back to that
+evening as one of the happiest in all their lives; and it was already past
+midnight when--the sail of the boat having been set up by the
+Quangle-Wangle, the tea-kettle and churn placed in their respective
+positions, and the Pussy-Cat stationed at the helm--the children each took
+a last and affectionate farewell of the Blue-Bottle-Flies, who walked down
+in a body to the water's edge to see the travellers embark.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+As a token of parting respect and esteem, Violet made a courtesy quite down
+to the ground, and stuck one of her few remaining parrot-tail feathers into
+the back hair of the most pleasing of the Blue-Bottle-Flies; while
+Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel offered them three small boxes, containing,
+respectively, black pins, dried figs, and Epsom salts; and thus they left
+that happy shore forever.
+
+Overcome by their feelings, the four little travellers instantly jumped
+into the tea-kettle, and fell fast asleep. But all along the shore, for
+many hours, there was distinctly heard a sound of severely-suppressed sobs,
+and of a vague multitude of living creatures using their
+pocket-handkerchiefs in a subdued simultaneous snuffle, lingering sadly
+along the walloping waves as the boat sailed farther and farther away from
+the Land of the Happy Blue-Bottle-Flies.
+
+Nothing particular occurred for some days after these events, except that,
+as the travellers were passing a low tract of sand, they perceived an
+unusual and gratifying spectacle; namely, a large number of Crabs and
+Crawfish--perhaps six or seven hundred--sitting by the water-side, and
+endeavoring to disentangle a vast heap of pale pink worsted, which they
+moistened at intervals with a fluid composed of lavender-water and
+white-wine negus.
+
+"Can we be of any service to you, O crusty Crabbies?" said the four
+children.
+
+"Thank you kindly," said the Crabs consecutively. "We are trying to make
+some worsted mittens, but do not know how."
+
+On which Violet, who was perfectly acquainted with the art of
+mitten-making, said to the Crabs, "Do your claws unscrew, or are they
+fixtures?"
+
+"They are all made to unscrew," said the Crabs; and forthwith they
+deposited a great pile of claws close to the boat, with which Violet
+uncombed all the pale pink worsted, and then made the loveliest mittens
+with it you can imagine. These the Crabs, having resumed and screwed on
+their claws, placed cheerfully upon their wrists, and walked away rapidly
+on their hind-legs, warbling songs with a silvery voice and in a minor key.
+
+After this, the four little people sailed on again till they came to a vast
+and wide plain of astonishing dimensions, on which nothing whatever could
+be discovered at first; but, as the travellers walked onward, there
+appeared in the extreme and dim distance a single object, which on a nearer
+approach, and on an accurately cutaneous inspection, seemed to be somebody
+in a large white wig, sitting on an arm-chair made of sponge-cakes and
+oyster-shells. "It does not quite look like a human being," said Violet
+doubtfully; nor could they make out what it really was, till the
+Quangle-Wangle (who had previously been round the world) exclaimed softly
+in a loud voice, "It is the co-operative Cauliflower!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And so, in truth, it was: and they soon found that what they had taken for
+an immense wig was in reality the top of the Cauliflower; and that he had
+no feet at all, being able to walk tolerably well with a fluctuating and
+graceful movement on a single cabbage-stalk,--an accomplishment which
+naturally saved him the expense of stockings and shoes.
+
+Presently, while the whole party from the boat was gazing at him with
+mingled affection and disgust, he suddenly arose, and, in a somewhat
+plumdomphious manner, hurried off towards the setting sun,--his steps
+supported by two superincumbent confidential Cucumbers, and a large number
+of Waterwagtails proceeding in advance of him by three and three in a
+row,--till he finally disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a
+crystal cloud of sudorific sand.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+So remarkable a sight, of course, impressed the four children very deeply;
+and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong sense of
+undeveloped asthma and a great appetite.
+
+Shortly after this, the travellers were obliged to sail directly below some
+high overhanging rocks, from the top of one of which a particularly odious
+little boy, dressed in rose-colored knickerbockers, and with a pewter plate
+upon his head, threw an enormous pumpkin at the boat, by which it was
+instantly upset.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+But this upsetting was of no consequence, because all the party knew how to
+swim very well: and, in fact, they preferred swimming about till after the
+moon rose; when, the water growing chilly, they sponge-taneously entered
+the boat. Meanwhile the Quangle-Wangle threw back the pumpkin with immense
+force, so that it hit the rocks where the malicious little boy in
+rose-colored knickerbockers was sitting; when, being quite full of
+lucifer-matches, the pumpkin exploded surreptitiously into a thousand bits;
+whereon the rocks instantly took fire, and the odious little boy became
+unpleasantly hotter and hotter and hotter, till his knickerbockers were
+turned quite green, and his nose was burnt off.
+
+Two or three days after this had happened, they came to another place,
+where they found nothing at all except some wide and deep pits full of
+mulberry-jam. This is the property of the tiny, yellow-nosed Apes who
+abound in these districts, and who store up the mulberry-jam for their food
+in winter, when they mix it with pellucid pale periwinkle-soup, and serve
+it out in wedgewood china-bowls, which grow freely all over that part of
+the country. Only one of the yellow-nosed Apes was on the spot, and he was
+fast asleep; yet the four travellers and the Quangle-Wangle and Pussy were
+so terrified by the violence and sanguinary sound of his snoring, that they
+merely took a small cupful of the jam, and returned to re-embark in their
+boat without delay.
+
+What was their horror on seeing the boat (including the churn and the
+tea-kettle) in the mouth of an enormous Seeze Pyder, an aquatic and
+ferocious creature truly dreadful to behold, and, happily, only met with in
+those excessive longitudes! In a moment, the beautiful boat was bitten into
+fifty-five thousand million hundred billion bits; and it instantly became
+quite clear that Violet, Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel could no longer
+preliminate their voyage by sea.
+
+The four travellers were therefore obliged to resolve on pursuing their
+wanderings by land: and, very fortunately, there happened to pass by at
+that moment an elderly Rhinoceros, on which they seized; and, all four
+mounting on his back,--the Quangle-Wangle sitting on his horn, and holding
+on by his ears, and the Pussy-Cat swinging at the end of his tail,--they
+set off, having only four small beans and three pounds of mashed potatoes
+to last through their whole journey.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+They were, however, able to catch numbers of the chickens and turkeys and
+other birds who incessantly alighted on the head of the Rhinoceros for the
+purpose of gathering the seeds of the rhododendron-plants which grew
+there; and these creatures they cooked in the most translucent and
+satisfactory manner by means of a fire lighted on the end of the
+Rhinoceros's back. A crowd of Kangaroos and gigantic Cranes accompanied
+them, from feelings of curiosity and complacency; so that they were never
+at a loss for company, and went onward, as it were, in a sort of profuse
+and triumphant procession.
+
+Thus in less than eighteen weeks they all arrived safely at home, where
+they were received by their admiring relatives with joy tempered with
+contempt, and where they finally resolved to carry out the rest of their
+travelling-plans at some more favorable opportunity.
+
+As for the Rhinoceros, in token of their grateful adherence, they had him
+killed and stuffed directly, and then set him up outside the door of their
+father's house as a diaphanous doorscraper.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF
+THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE.
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+
+In former days,--that is to say, once upon a time,--there lived in the Land
+of Gramble-Blamble seven families. They lived by the side of the great Lake
+Pipple-Popple (one of the seven families, indeed, lived _in_ the lake), and
+on the outskirts of the city of Tosh, which, excepting when it was quite
+dark, they could see plainly. The names of all these places you have
+probably heard of; and you have only not to look in your geography-books to
+find out all about them.
+
+Now, the seven families who lived on the borders of the great Lake
+Pipple-Popple were as follows in the next chapter.
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+THE SEVEN FAMILIES.
+
+There was a family of two old Parrots and seven young Parrots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Storks and seven young Storks.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Geese and seven young Geese.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Owls and seven young Owls.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Guinea Pigs and seven young Guinea Pigs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Cats and seven young Cats.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And there was a family of two old Fishes and seven young Fishes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+THE HABITS OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES.
+
+The Parrots lived upon the Soffsky-Poffsky trees, which were beautiful to
+behold, and covered with blue leaves; and they fed upon fruit, artichokes,
+and striped beetles.
+
+The Storks walked in and out of the Lake Pipple-Popple, and ate frogs for
+breakfast, and buttered toast for tea; but on account of the extreme length
+of their legs they could not sit down, and so they walked about
+continually.
+
+The Geese, having webs to their feet, caught quantities of flies, which
+they ate for dinner.
+
+The Owls anxiously looked after mice, which they caught, and made into
+sago-puddings.
+
+The Guinea Pigs toddled about the gardens, and ate lettuces and Cheshire
+cheese.
+
+The Cats sate still in the sunshine, and fed upon sponge biscuits.
+
+The Fishes lived in the lake, and fed chiefly on boiled periwinkles.
+
+And all these seven families lived together in the utmost fun and felicity.
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+THE CHILDREN OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES ARE SENT AWAY.
+
+One day all the seven fathers and the seven mothers of the seven families
+agreed that they would send their children out to see the world.
+
+So they called them all together, and gave them each eight shillings and
+some good advice, some chocolate-drops, and a small green morocco
+pocket-book to set down their expenses in.
+
+They then particularly entreated them not to quarrel; and all the parents
+sent off their children with a parting injunction.
+
+"If," said the old Parrots, "you find a cherry, do not fight about who
+should have it."
+
+"And," said the old Storks, "if you find a frog, divide it carefully into
+seven bits, but on no account quarrel about it."
+
+And the old Geese said to the seven young Geese, "Whatever you do, be sure
+you do not touch a plum-pudding flea."
+
+And the old Owls said, "If you find a mouse, tear him up into seven slices,
+and eat him cheerfully, but without quarrelling."
+
+And the old Guinea Pigs said, "Have a care that you eat your lettuces,
+should you find any, not greedily, but calmly."
+
+And the old Cats said, "Be particularly careful not to meddle with a
+clangle-wangle if you should see one."
+
+And the old Fishes said, "Above all things, avoid eating a blue boss-woss;
+for they do not agree with fishes, and give them a pain in their toes."
+
+So all the children of each family thanked their parents; and, making in
+all forty-nine polite bows, they went into the wide world.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG PARROTS.
+
+The seven young Parrots had not gone far, when they saw a tree with a
+single cherry on it, which the oldest Parrot picked instantly; but the
+other six, being extremely hungry, tried to get it also. On which all the
+seven began to fight; and they
+scuffled,
+     and huffled,
+       and ruffled,
+         and shuffled,
+           and puffled,
+             and muffled,
+               and buffled,
+                 and duffled,
+                   and fluffled,
+                     and guffled,
+                       and bruffled,
+                         and screamed, and shrieked, and squealed,
+and squeaked, and clawed, and snapped, and bit, and bumped, and thumped,
+and dumped, and flumped each other, till they were all torn into little
+bits; and at last there was nothing left to record this painful incident
+except the cherry and seven small green feathers.
+
+And that was the vicious and voluble end of the seven young Parrots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG STORKS.
+
+When the seven young Storks set out, they walked or flew for fourteen weeks
+in a straight line, and for six weeks more in a crooked one; and after that
+they ran as hard as they could for one hundred and eight miles; and after
+that they stood still, and made a himmeltanious chatter-clatter-blattery
+noise with their bills.
+
+About the same time they perceived a large frog, spotted with green, and
+with a sky-blue stripe under each ear.
+
+So, being hungry, they immediately flew at him, and were going to divide
+him into seven pieces, when they began to quarrel as to which of his legs
+should be taken off first. One said this, and another said that; and while
+they were all quarrelling, the frog hopped away. And when they saw that he
+was gone, they began to
+  chatter-clatter,
+      blatter-platter,
+          patter-blatter,
+              matter-clatter,
+                  flatter-quatter,
+more violently than ever; and after they
+had fought for a week, they pecked each other all to little pieces, so that
+at last nothing was left of any of them except their bills.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Storks.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GEESE.
+
+When the seven young Geese began to travel, they went over a large plain,
+on which there was but one tree, and that was, a very bad one.
+
+So four of them went up to the top of it, and looked about them; while the
+other three waddled up and down, and repeated poetry, and their last six
+lessons in arithmetic, geography, and cookery.
+
+Presently they perceived, a long way off, an object of the most interesting
+and obese appearance, having a perfectly round body exactly resembling a
+boiled plum-pudding, with two little wings, and a beak, and three feathers
+growing out of his head, and only one leg.
+
+So, after a time, all the seven young Geese said to each other, "Beyond all
+doubt this beast must be a Plum-pudding Flea!"
+
+On which they incautiously began to sing aloud,
+
+       "Plum-pudding Flea,
+        Plum-pudding Flea,
+        Wherever you be,
+        Oh! come to our tree,
+    And listen, oh! listen, oh! listen to me!"
+
+And no sooner had they sung this verse than the Plum-pudding Flea began to
+hop and skip on his one leg with the most dreadful velocity, and came
+straight to the tree, where he stopped, and looked about him in a vacant
+and voluminous manner.
+
+On which the seven young Geese were greatly alarmed, and all of a
+tremble-bemble: so one of them put out his long neck, and just touched him
+with the tip of his bill; but no sooner had he done this than the
+Plum-pudding Flea skipped and hopped about more and more, and higher and
+higher; after which he opened his mouth, and, to the great surprise and
+indignation of the seven Geese, began to bark so loudly and furiously and
+terribly, that they were totally unable to bear the noise; and by degrees
+every one of them suddenly tumbled down quite dead.
+
+So that was the end of the seven young Geese.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG OWLS.
+
+When the seven young Owls set out, they sate every now and then on the
+branches of old trees, and never went far at one time.
+
+And one night, when it was quite dark, they thought they heard a mouse;
+but, as the gas-lamps were not lighted, they could not see him.
+
+So they called out, "Is that a mouse?"
+
+On which a mouse answered, "Squeaky-peeky-weeky! yes, it is!"
+
+And immediately all the young Owls threw themselves off the tree, meaning
+to alight on the ground; but they did not perceive that there was a large
+well below them, into which they all fell superficially, and were every one
+of them drowned in less than half a minute.
+
+So that was the end of the seven young Owls.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GUINEA PIGS.
+
+The seven young Guinea Pigs went into a garden full of goose-berry-bushes
+and tiggory-trees, under one of which they fell asleep. When they awoke,
+they saw a large lettuce, which had grown out of the ground while they had
+been sleeping, and which had an immense number of green leaves. At which
+they all exclaimed,--
+
+   "Lettuce! O lettuce
+    Let us, O let us,
+    O lettuce-leaves,
+    O let us leave this tree, and eat
+    Lettuce, O let us, lettuce-leaves!"
+
+And instantly the seven young Guinea Pigs rushed with such extreme force
+against the lettuce-plant, and hit their heads so vividly against its
+stalk, that the concussion brought on directly an incipient transitional
+inflammation of their noses, which grew worse and worse and worse and
+worse, till it incidentally killed them all seven.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Guinea Pigs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG CATS.
+
+The seven young Cats set off on their travels with great delight and
+rapacity. But, on coming to the top of a high hill, they perceived at a
+long distance off a Clangle-Wangle (or, as it is more properly written,
+Clangel-Wangel); and, in spite of the warning they had had, they ran
+straight up to it.
+
+(Now, the Clangle-Wangle is a most dangerous and delusive beast, and by no
+means commonly to be met with. They live in the water as well as on land,
+using their long tail as a sail when in the former element. Their speed is
+extreme; but their habits of life are domestic and superfluous, and their
+general demeanor pensive and pellucid. On summer evenings, they may
+sometimes be observed near the Lake Pipple-Popple, standing on their heads,
+and humming their national melodies. They subsist entirely on vegetables,
+excepting when they eat veal or mutton or pork or beef or fish or
+saltpetre.)
+
+The moment the Clangle-Wangle saw the seven young Cats approach, he ran
+away; and as he ran straight on for four months, and the Cats, though they
+continued to run, could never overtake him, they all gradually _died_ of
+fatigue and exhaustion, and never afterwards recovered.
+
+And this was the end of the seven young Cats.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG FISHES.
+
+The seven young Fishes swam across the Lake Pipple-Popple, and into the
+river, and into the ocean; where, most unhappily for them, they saw, on the
+fifteenth day of their travels, a bright-blue Boss-Woss, and instantly swam
+after him. But the Blue Boss-Woss plunged into a
+    perpendicular,
+        spicular,
+            orbicular,
+                quadrangular,
+                     circular depth of soft mud;
+where, in fact, his house was.
+
+And the seven young Fishes, swimming with great and uncomfortable velocity,
+plunged also into the mud quite against their will, and, not being
+accustomed to it, were all suffocated in a very short period.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Fishes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+OF WHAT OCCURRED SUBSEQUENTLY.
+
+After it was known that the
+
+            seven young Parrots,
+    and the seven young Storks,
+    and the seven young Geese,
+    and the seven young Owls,
+    and the seven young Guinea Pigs,
+    and the seven young Cats,
+    and the seven young Fishes,
+
+were all dead, then the Frog, and the Plum-pudding Flea, and the Mouse, and
+the Clangle-Wangle, and the Blue Boss-Woss, all met together to rejoice
+over their good fortune. And they collected the seven feathers of the seven
+young Parrots, and the seven bills of the seven young Storks, and the
+lettuce, and the cherry; and having placed the latter on the lettuce, and
+the other objects in a circular arrangement at their base, they danced a
+hornpipe round all these memorials until they were quite tired; after which
+they gave a tea-party, and a garden-party, and a ball, and a concert, and
+then returned to their respective homes full of joy and respect, sympathy,
+satisfaction, and disgust.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.
+
+OF WHAT BECAME OF THE PARENTS OF THE FORTY-NINE CHILDREN.
+
+BUT when the two old Parrots,
+     and the two old Storks,
+     and the two old Geese,
+     and the two old Owls,
+     and the two old Guinea Pigs,
+     and the two old Cats,
+     and the two old Fishes,
+
+became aware, by reading in the newspapers, of the calamitous extinction of
+the whole of their families, they refused all further sustenance; and,
+sending out to various shops, they purchased great quantities of Cayenne
+pepper and brandy and vinegar and blue sealing-wax, besides seven immense
+glass bottles with air-tight stoppers. And, having done this, they ate a
+light supper of brown-bread and Jerusalem artichokes, and took an
+affecting and formal leave of the whole of their acquaintance, which was
+very numerous and distinguished and select and responsible and ridiculous.
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV.
+
+CONCLUSION.
+
+And after this they filled the bottles with the ingredients for pickling,
+and each couple jumped into a separate bottle; by which effort, of course,
+they all died immediately, and became thoroughly pickled in a few minutes;
+having previously made their wills (by the assistance of the most eminent
+lawyers of the district), in which they left strict orders that the
+stoppers of the seven bottles should be carefully sealed up with the blue
+sealing-wax they had purchased; and that they themselves, in the bottles,
+should be presented to the principal museum of the city of Tosh, to be
+labelled with parchment or any other anti-congenial succedaneum, and to be
+placed on a marble table with silver-gilt legs, for the daily inspection
+and contemplation, and for the perpetual benefit, of the pusillanimous
+public.
+
+And if you ever happen to go to Gramble-Blamble, and visit that museum in
+the city of Tosh, look for them on the ninety-eighth table in the four
+hundred and twenty-seventh room of the right-hand corridor of the left wing
+of the central quadrangle of that magnificent building; for, if you do not,
+you certainly will not see them.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+                 NONSENSE COOKERY.
+
+Extract from "The Nonsense Gazette," for August, 1870.
+
+"Our readers will be interested in the following communications from our
+valued and learned contributor, Prof. Bosh, whose labors in the fields of
+culinary and botanical science are so well known to all the world. The
+first three articles richly merit to be added to the domestic cookery of
+every family: those which follow claim the attention of all botanists; and
+we are happy to be able, through Dr. Bosh's kindness, to present our
+readers with illustrations of his discoveries. All the new flowers are
+found in the Valley of Verrikwier, near the Lake of Oddgrow, and on the
+summit of the Hill Orfeltugg."
+
+
+
+THREE RECEIPTS FOR DOMESTIC COOKERY.
+
+
+TO MAKE AN AMBLONGUS PIE.
+
+Take 4 pounds (say 4-1/2 pounds) of fresh Amblongusses, and put them in a
+small pipkin.
+
+Cover them with water, and boil them for 8 hours incessantly; after which
+add 2 pints of new milk, and proceed to boil for 4 hours more.
+
+When you have ascertained that the Amblongusses are quite soft, take them
+out, and place them in a wide pan, taking care to shake them well
+previously.
+
+Grate some nutmeg over the surface, and cover them carefully with powdered
+gingerbread, curry-powder, and a sufficient quantity of Cayenne pepper.
+
+Remove the pan into the next room, and place it on the floor. Bring it back
+again, and let it simmer for three-quarters of an hour. Shake the pan
+violently till all the Amblongusses have become of a pale purple color.
+
+Then, having prepared the paste, insert the whole carefully; adding at the
+same time a small pigeon, 2 slices of beef, 4 cauliflowers, and any number
+of oysters.
+
+Watch patiently till the crust begins to rise, and add a pinch of salt from
+time to time.
+
+Serve up in a clean dish, and throw the whole out of window as fast as
+possible.
+
+
+TO MAKE CRUMBOBBLIOUS CUTLETS.
+
+Procure some strips of beef, and, having cut them into the smallest
+possible slices, proceed to cut them still smaller,--eight, or perhaps
+nine times.
+
+When the whole is thus minced, brush it up hastily with a new
+clothes-brush, and stir round rapidly and capriciously with a salt-spoon
+or a soup-ladle.
+
+Place the whole in a saucepan, and remove it to a sunny place,--say the
+roof of the house, if free from sparrows or other birds,--and leave it
+there for about a week.
+
+At the end of that time add a little lavender, some oil of almonds, and a
+few herring-bones; and then cover the whole with 4 gallons of clarified
+Crumbobblious sauce, when it will be ready for use.
+
+Cut it into the shape of ordinary cutlets, and serve up in a clean
+table-cloth or dinner-napkin.
+
+
+TO MAKE GOSKY PATTIES.
+
+Take a pig three or four years of age, and tie him by the off hind-leg to a
+post. Place 5 pounds of currants, 3 of sugar, 2 pecks of peas, 18 roast
+chestnuts, a candle, and 6 bushels of turnips, within his reach: if he eats
+these, constantly provide him with more.
+
+Then procure some cream, some slices of Cheshire cheese, 4 quires of
+foolscap paper, and a packet of black pins. Work the whole into a paste,
+and spread it out to dry on a sheet of clean brown waterproof linen.
+
+When the paste is perfectly dry, but not before, proceed to beat the pig
+violently with the handle of a large broom. If he squeals, beat him again.
+
+Visit the paste and beat the pig alternately for some days, and ascertain
+if, at the end of that period, the whole is about to turn into Gosky
+Patties.
+
+If it does not then, it never will; and in that case the pig may be let
+loose, and the whole process may be considered as finished.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Baccopipia Gracilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia.]
+
+[Illustration: Cockatooca Superba.]
+
+[Illustration: Fishia Marina.]
+
+[Illustration: Guittara Pensilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Manypeeplia Upsidownia.]
+
+[Illustration: Phattfacia Stupenda.]
+
+[Illustration: Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis.]
+
+[Illustration: Plumbunnia Nutritiosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Pollybirdia Singularis.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE ALPHABETS.
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    A was an ant
+    Who seldom stood still,
+    And who made a nice house
+    In the side of a hill.
+
+            a!
+     Nice little ant!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    B was a book
+    With a binding of blue,
+    And pictures and stories
+    For me and for you.
+
+            b!
+     Nice little book!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    C was a cat
+    Who ran after a rat;
+    But his courage did fail
+    When she seized on his tail.
+
+            c!
+      Crafty old cat!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    D was a duck
+    With spots on his back,
+    Who lived in the water,
+    And always said "Quack!"
+
+            d!
+      Dear little duck!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    E was an elephant,
+    Stately and wise:
+    He had tusks and a trunk,
+    And two queer little eyes.
+
+            e!
+    Oh, what funny small eyes!
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+
+    F was a fish
+    Who was caught in a net;
+    But he got out again,
+    And is quite alive yet.
+
+            f!
+      Lively young fish!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    G was a goat
+    Who was spotted with brown:
+    When he did not lie still
+    He walked up and down.
+
+            g!
+      Good little goat!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    H was a hat
+    Which was all on one side;
+    Its crown was too high,
+    And its brim was too wide.
+
+            h!
+      Oh, what a hat!
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    I was some ice
+    So white and so nice,
+    But which nobody tasted;
+    And so it was wasted.
+
+            i!
+    All that good ice!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+
+    J was a jackdaw
+    Who hopped up and down
+    In the principal street
+    Of a neighboring town.
+
+            j!
+     All through the town!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    K was a kite
+    Which flew out of sight,
+    Above houses so high,
+    Quite into the sky.
+
+            k
+       Fly away, kite!
+
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    L was a light
+    Which burned all the night,
+    And lighted the gloom
+    Of a very dark room.
+
+            l!
+     Useful nice light!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    M was a mill
+    Which stood on a hill,
+    And turned round and round
+    With a loud hummy sound.
+
+            m!
+      Useful old mill!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    N was a net
+    Which was thrown in the sea
+    To catch fish for dinner
+    For you and for me.
+
+            n!
+      Nice little net!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    O was an orange
+    So yellow and round:
+    When it fell off the tree,
+    It fell down to the ground.
+
+            o!
+    Down to the ground!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    P was a pig,
+    Who was not very big;
+    But his tail was too curly,
+    And that made him surly.
+
+            p!
+    Cross little pig!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a quail
+    With a very short tail;
+    And he fed upon corn
+    In the evening and morn.
+
+            q!
+    Quaint little quail!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    R was a rabbit,
+    Who had a bad habit
+    Of eating the flowers
+    In gardens and bowers.
+
+            r!
+     Naughty fat rabbit!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    S was the sugar-tongs,
+    Nippity-nee,
+    To take up the sugar
+    To put in our tea.
+
+            s!
+       Nippity-nee!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    T was a tortoise,
+    All yellow and black:
+    He walked slowly away,
+    And he never came back.
+
+            t!
+    Torty never came back!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    U was an urn
+    All polished and bright,
+    And full of hot water
+    At noon and at night.
+
+            u!
+     Useful old urn!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    V was a villa
+    Which stood on a hill,
+    By the side of a river,
+    And close to a mill.
+
+            v!
+    Nice little villa!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    W was a whale
+    With a very long tail,
+    Whose movements were frantic
+    Across the Atlantic.
+
+            w!
+   Monstrous old whale!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes,
+    Who, more than all Turks, is
+    Renowned for his fashion
+    Of fury and passion.
+
+            x!
+    Angry old Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a yew,
+    Which flourished and grew
+    By a quiet abode
+    Near the side of a road.
+
+            y!
+     Dark little yew!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Z was some zinc,
+    So shiny and bright,
+    Which caused you to wink
+    In the sun's merry light.
+
+            z!
+       Beautiful zinc!
+
+
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            a
+
+    A was once an apple-pie,
+        Pidy,
+        Widy,
+        Tidy,
+        Pidy,
+      Nice insidy,
+      Apple-pie!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            b
+
+    B was once a little bear,
+        Beary,
+        Wary,
+        Hairy,
+        Beary,
+      Taky cary,
+      Little bear!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            c
+
+    C was once a little cake,
+        Caky,
+        Baky,
+        Maky,
+        Caky,
+      Taky caky,
+      Little cake!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            d
+
+    D was once a little doll,
+        Dolly,
+        Molly,
+        Polly,
+        Nolly,
+      Nursy dolly,
+      Little doll!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            e
+
+    E was once a little eel,
+        Eely,
+        Weely,
+        Peely,
+        Eely,
+      Twirly, tweely,
+        Little eel!
+
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            f
+
+    F was once a little fish,
+        Fishy,
+        Wishy,
+        Squishy,
+        Fishy,
+      In a dishy,
+      Little fish!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            g
+
+    G was once a little goose,
+        Goosy,
+        Moosy,
+        Boosey,
+        Goosey,
+      Waddly-woosy,
+      Little goose!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            h
+
+    H was once a little hen,
+        Henny,
+        Chenny,
+        Tenny,
+        Henny.
+      Eggsy-any,
+      Little hen?
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            i
+
+    I was once a bottle of ink
+        Inky,
+        Dinky,
+        Thinky,
+        Inky,
+      Blacky minky,
+      Bottle of ink!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            j
+
+    J was once a jar of jam,
+        Jammy,
+        Mammy,
+        Clammy,
+        Jammy,
+      Sweety, swammy,
+        Jar of jam!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            k
+
+    K was once a little kite,
+        Kity,
+        Whity,
+        Flighty,
+        Kity,
+      Out of sighty,
+        Little kite!
+
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            l
+
+    L was once a little lark,
+        Larky,
+        Marky,
+        Harky,
+        Larky,
+      In the parky,
+      Little lark!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            m
+
+    M was once a little mouse,
+        Mousy,
+        Bousy,
+        Sousy,
+        Mousy,
+      In the housy,
+      Little mouse!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            n
+
+    N was once a little needle,
+        Needly,
+        Tweedly,
+        Threedly,
+        Needly,
+      Wisky, wheedly,
+      Little needle!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            o
+
+    O was once a little owl,
+        Owly,
+        Prowly,
+        Howly,
+        Owly,
+      Browny fowly,
+      Little owl!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            p
+
+    P was once a little pump,
+        Pumpy,
+        Slumpy,
+        Flumpy,
+        Pumpy,
+      Dumpy, thumpy,
+        Little pump!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            q
+
+    Q was once a little quail,
+        Quaily,
+        Faily,
+        Daily,
+        Quaily,
+      Stumpy-taily,
+      Little quail!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            r
+
+    R was once a little rose,
+        Rosy,
+        Posy,
+        Nosy,
+        Rosy,
+     Blows-y, grows-y,
+       Little rose!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            s
+
+    S was once a little shrimp,
+        Shrimpy,
+        Nimpy,
+        Flimpy,
+        Shrimpy.
+     Jumpy, jimpy,
+      Little shrimp!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            t
+
+    T was once a little thrush,
+        Thrushy,
+        Hushy,
+        Bushy,
+        Thrushy,
+      Flitty, flushy,
+      Little thrush!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            u
+
+    U was once a little urn,
+           Urny,
+           Burny,
+           Turny,
+           Urny,
+      Bubbly, burny,
+        Little urn!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            v
+
+    V was once a little vine,
+        Viny,
+        Winy,
+        Twiny,
+        Viny,
+      Twisty-twiny,
+      Little vine!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            w
+
+    W was once a whale,
+        Whaly,
+        Scaly,
+        Shaly,
+        Whaly,
+      Tumbly-taily,
+      Mighty whale!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            x
+
+    X was once a great king Xerxes,
+          Xerxy,
+          Perxy,
+          Turxy,
+          Xerxy,
+        Linxy, lurxy,
+      Great King Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            y
+
+    Y was once a little yew,
+        Yewdy,
+        Fewdy,
+        Crudy,
+        Yewdy,
+    Growdy, grewdy,
+      Little yew!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            z
+
+    Z was once a piece of zinc,
+        Tinky,
+        Winky,
+        Blinky,
+        Tinky,
+      Tinkly minky,
+      Piece of zinc!
+
+
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    A was an ape,
+    Who stole some white tape,
+    And tied up his toes
+    In four beautiful bows.
+
+            a!
+
+    Funny old ape!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    B was a bat,
+    Who slept all the day,
+    And fluttered about
+    When the sun went away.
+
+            b!
+
+    Brown little bat!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    C was a camel:
+    You rode on his hump;
+    And if you fell off,
+    You came down such a bump!
+
+
+            c!
+
+    What a high camel!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    D was a dove,
+    Who lived in a wood,
+    With such pretty soft wings,
+    And so gentle and good!
+
+            d!
+
+    Dear little dove!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    E was an eagle,
+    Who sat on the rocks,
+    And looked down on the fields
+    And the-far-away flocks.
+
+            e!
+
+    Beautiful eagle!
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    F was a fan
+    Made of beautiful stuff;
+    And when it was used,
+    It went puffy-puff-puff!
+
+            f!
+
+    Nice little fan!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    G was a gooseberry,
+    Perfectly red;
+    To be made into jam,
+    And eaten with bread.
+
+            g!
+
+    Gooseberry red!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    H was a heron,
+    Who stood in a stream:
+    The length of his neck
+    And his legs was extreme.
+
+            h!
+
+    Long-legged heron!
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    I was an inkstand,
+    Which stood on a table,
+    With a nice pen to write with
+    When we are able.
+
+            i!
+
+    Neat little inkstand!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    J was a jug,
+    So pretty and white,
+    With fresh water in it
+    At morning and night.
+
+            j!
+
+    Nice little jug!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    K was a kingfisher:
+    Quickly he flew,
+    So bright and so pretty!--
+    Green, purple, and blue.
+
+            k!
+
+    Kingfisher blue!
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    L was a lily,
+    So white and so sweet!
+    To see it and smell it
+    Was quite a nice treat.
+
+            l!
+
+    Beautiful lily!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    M was a man,
+    Who walked round and round;
+    And he wore a long coat
+    That came down to the ground.
+
+            m!
+
+    Funny old man!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    N was a nut
+    So smooth and so brown!
+    And when it was ripe,
+    It fell tumble-dum-down.
+
+            n!
+
+    Nice little nut!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    O was an oyster,
+    Who lived in his shell:
+    If you let him alone,
+    He felt perfectly well.
+
+            o!
+
+    Open-mouthed oyster!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    P was a polly,
+    All red, blue, and green,--
+    The most beautiful polly
+    That ever was seen.
+
+            p!
+
+    Poor little polly!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a quill
+    Made into a pen;
+    But I do not know where,
+    And I cannot say when.
+
+            q!
+
+    Nice little quill!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    R was a rattlesnake,
+    Rolled up so tight,
+    Those who saw him ran quickly,
+    For fear he should bite.
+
+            r!
+
+    Rattlesnake bite!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    S was a screw
+    To screw down a box;
+    And then it was fastened
+    Without any locks.
+
+            s!
+
+    Valuable screw!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    T was a thimble,
+    Of silver so bright!
+    When placed on the finger,
+    It fitted so tight!
+
+            t!
+
+    Nice little thimble!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    U was an upper-coat,
+    Woolly and warm,
+    To wear over all
+    In the snow or the storm.
+
+            u!
+
+    What a nice upper-coat!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    V was a veil
+    With a border upon it,
+    And a ribbon to tie it
+    All round a pink bonnet.
+
+            v!
+
+    Pretty green veil!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    W was a watch,
+    Where, in letters of gold,
+    The hour of the day
+    You might always behold.
+
+            w!
+
+    Beautiful watch!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes,
+    Who wore on his head
+    A mighty large turban,
+    Green, yellow, and red.
+
+            x!
+
+    Look at King Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a yak,
+    From the land of Thibet:
+    Except his white tail,
+    He was all black as jet.
+
+            y!
+
+    Look at the yak!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Z was a zebra,
+    All striped white and black;
+    And if he were tame,
+    You might ride on his back.
+
+            z!
+
+    Pretty striped zebra!
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+MORE NONSENSE
+
+Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+  NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+  ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES
+
+  TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+In offering this little book--the third of its kind--to the public, I am
+glad to take the opportunity of recording the pleasure I have received at
+the appreciation its predecessors have met with, as attested by their wide
+circulation, and by the universally kind notices of them from the Press. To
+have been the means of administering innocent mirth to thousands, may
+surely be a just motive for satisfaction, and an excuse for grateful
+expression.
+
+At the same time, I am desirous of adding a few words as to the history of
+the two previously published volumes, and more particularly of the first or
+original "Book of Nonsense," relating to which many absurd reports have
+crept into circulation, such as that it was the composition of the late
+Lord Brougham, the late Earl of Derby, etc.; that the rhymes and pictures
+are by different persons; or that the whole have a symbolical meaning,
+etc.; whereas, every one of the Rhymes was composed by myself, and every
+one of the Illustrations drawn by my own hand at the time the verses were
+made. Moreover, in no portion of these Nonsense drawings have I ever
+allowed any caricature of private or public persons to appear, and
+throughout, more care than might be supposed has been given to make the
+subjects incapable of misinterpretation: "Nonsense," pure and absolute,
+having been my aim throughout.
+
+As for the persistently absurd report of the late Earl of Derby being the
+author of the "First Book of Nonsense," I may relate an incident which
+occurred to me four summers ago, the first that gave me any insight into
+the origin of the rumor.
+
+I was on my way from London to Guildford, in a railway carriage,
+containing, besides myself, one passenger, an elderly gentleman: presently,
+however, two ladies entered, accompanied by two little boys. These, who had
+just had a copy of the "Book of Nonsense" given them, were loud in their
+delight, and by degrees infected the whole party with their mirth.
+
+"How grateful," said the old gentleman to the two ladies, "all children,
+and parents too, ought to be to the statesman who has given his time to
+composing that charming book!"
+
+(The ladies looked puzzled, as indeed was I, the author.)
+
+"Do you not know who is the writer of it?" asked the gentleman.
+
+"The name is 'Edward Lear,'" said one of the ladies.
+
+"Ah!" said the first speaker, "so it is printed; but that is only a whim of
+the real author, the Earl of Derby. 'Edward' is his Christian name, and, as
+you may see, LEAR is only EARL transposed."
+
+"But," said the lady, doubtingly, "here is a dedication to the
+great-grandchildren, grand-nephews, and grand-nieces of Edward, thirteenth
+Earl of Derby, by the author, Edward Lear."
+
+"That," replied the other, "is simply a piece of mystification; I am in a
+position to know that the whole book was composed and illustrated by Lord
+Derby himself. In fact, there is no such a person at all as Edward Lear."
+
+"Yet," said the other lady, "some friends of mine tell me they know Mr.
+Lear."
+
+"Quite a mistake! completely a mistake!" said the old gentleman, becoming
+rather angry at the contradiction; "I am well aware of what I am saying: I
+can inform you, no such a person as 'Edward Lear' exists!"
+
+Hitherto I had kept silence; but as my hat was, as well as my handkerchief
+and stick, largely marked inside with my name, and as I happened to have in
+my pocket several letters addressed to me, the temptation was too great to
+resist; so, flashing all these articles at once on my would-be
+extinguisher's attention, I speedily reduced him to silence.
+
+The second volume of Nonsense, commencing with the verses, "The Owl and the
+Pussy-Cat," was written at different times, and for different sets of
+children: the whole being collected in the course of last year, were then
+illustrated, and published in a single volume, by Mr. R.J. Bush, of 32
+Charing Cross.
+
+The contents of the third or present volume were made also at different
+intervals in the last two years.
+
+Long years ago, in days when much of my time was passed in a country house,
+where children and mirth abounded, the lines beginning, "There was an old
+man of Tobago," were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+lending itself to limitless variety for rhymes and pictures; and
+thenceforth the greater part of the original drawings and verses for the
+first "Book of Nonsense" were struck off with a pen, no assistance ever
+having been given me in any way but that of uproarious delight and welcome
+at the appearance of every new absurdity.
+
+Most of these Drawings and Rhymes were transferred to lithographic stones
+in the year 1846, and were then first published by Mr. Thomas McLean, of
+the Haymarket. But that edition having been soon exhausted, and the call
+for the "Book of Nonsense" continuing, I added a considerable number of
+subjects to those previously-published, and having caused the whole to be
+carefully reproduced in woodcuts by Messrs. Dalzell, I disposed of the
+copyright to Messrs. Routledge and Warne, by whom the volume was published
+in 1843.
+                                                              EDWARD LEAR.
+
+VILLA EMILY, SAN REMO,
+August, 1871.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Barkia Howlaloudia.]
+
+[Illustration: Enkoopia Chickabiddia.]
+
+[Illustration: Jinglia Tinkettlia.]
+
+[Illustration: Nasticreechia Krorluppia.]
+
+[Illustration: Arthbroomia Rigida.]
+
+[Illustration: Sophtsluggia Glutinosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Minspysia Deliciosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Shoebootia Utilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Stunnia Dinnerbellia.]
+
+[Illustration: Tickia Orologica.]
+
+[Illustration: Washtubbia Circularis.]
+
+[Illustration: Tigerlillia Terribilis.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Bantry,
+    Who frequently slept in the pantry;
+    When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,
+    That judicious young person of Bantry.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man at a Junction,
+    Whose feelings were wrung with compunction
+    When they said, "The Train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How forlorn!"
+    But remained on the rails of the Junction.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Minety,
+    Who purchased five hundred and ninety
+    Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares
+    At the heads of the people of Minety.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Thermopylae,
+    Who never did anything properly;
+    But they said, "If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,
+    You shall never remain in Thermopylae."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Deal,
+    Who in walking used only his heel;
+    When they said, "Tell us why?" he made no reply,
+    That mysterious old person of Deal.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man on the Humber,
+    Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;
+    When he said, "It's enough!" they only said, "Stuff!
+    You amazing old man on the Humber!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a barge,
+    Whose nose was exceedingly large;
+    But in fishing by night, it supported a light,
+    Which helped that old man in a barge.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dunrose;
+    A parrot seized hold of his nose.
+    When he grew melancholy, they said, "His name's Polly,"
+    Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Toulouse
+    Who purchased a new pair of shoes;
+    When they asked, "Are they pleasant?" he said, "Not at present!"
+    That turbid old man of Toulouse.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bree,
+    Who frequented the depths of the sea;
+    She nurs'd the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,
+    And swam back again into Bree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bromley,
+    Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;
+    He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,
+    That unpleasing old person of Bromley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Shields,
+    Who frequented the vallies and fields;
+    All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,
+    Followed after that person of Shields.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dunluce,
+    Who went out to sea on a goose:
+    When he'd gone out a mile, he observ'd with a smile,
+    "It is time to return to Dunluce."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dee-side
+    Whose hat was exceedingly wide,
+    But he said, "Do not fail, if it happen to hail,
+    To come under my hat at Dee-side!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person in black,
+    A Grasshopper jumped on his back;
+    When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,
+    That helpless old person in black.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of the Dargle
+    Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;
+    For he said, "I'll sit still, and will roll them down hill,
+    For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pinner,
+    As thin as a lath, if not thinner;
+    They dressed him in white, and roll'd him up tight,
+    That elastic old person of Pinner.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of China,
+    Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,
+    Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,
+    And all of them settled in China.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a Marsh,
+    Whose manners were futile and harsh;
+    He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,
+    That instructive old man in a Marsh.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Brill,
+    Who purchased a shirt with a frill;
+    But they said, "Don't you wish, you mayn't look like a fish,
+    You obsequious old person of Brill?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Wick,
+    Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;
+    Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he said nothing more,
+    That laconic old person of Wick.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man at a Station,
+    Who made a promiscuous oration;
+    But they said, "Take some snuff!--You have talk'd quite enough,
+    You afflicting old man at a Station!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Three Bridges,
+    Whose mind was distracted by midges,
+    He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,
+    Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Hong Kong,
+    Who never did anything wrong;
+    He lay on his back, with his head in a sack,
+    That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in green,
+    Who seldom was fit to be seen;
+    She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all,
+    Which enveloped that person in green.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Fife,
+    Who was greatly disgusted with life;
+    They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,
+    Which cured that old person of Fife.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man who screamed out
+    Whenever they knocked him about:
+    So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,
+    And continued to knock him about.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady in white,
+    Who looked out at the depths of the night;
+    But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,
+    And oppressed that young lady in white.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Slough,
+    Who danced at the end of a bough;
+    But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,
+    You imprudent old person of Slough."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Down,
+    Whose face was adorned with a frown;
+    When he opened the door, for one minute or more,
+    He alarmed all the people of Down.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in red,
+    Who carefully covered her head,
+    With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather,
+    Besides some long ribands of red.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Hove,
+    Who frequented the depths of a grove;
+    Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,
+    That tranquil old person of Hove.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in pink,
+    Who called out for something to drink;
+    But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water!"
+    Which vexed that young person in pink.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old lady of France,
+    Who taught little ducklings to dance;
+    When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they only said, "Quack!"
+    Which grieved that old lady of France.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Putney,
+    Whose food was roast spiders and chutney,
+    Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea,
+    That romantic old person of Putney.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Loo,
+    Who said, "What on earth shall I do?"
+    When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay,
+    That vexatious old person of Loo.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Woking,
+    Whose mind was perverse and provoking;
+    He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail,
+    That illusive old person of Woking.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Dean
+    Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
+    For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"
+    That cautious old person of Dean.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady in blue,
+    Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?"
+    When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!"
+    That ungracious young lady in blue.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Man in a Garden,
+    Who always begged every one's pardon;
+    When they asked him, "What for?" he replied, "You're a bore!
+    And I trust you'll go out of my garden."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pisa,
+    Whose daughters did nothing to please her;
+    She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day,
+    Round the walls of the city of Pisa.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Florence,
+    Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
+    He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,
+    Which choked that old person of Florence.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sheen,
+    Whose expression was calm and serene;
+    He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,
+    That placid old person of Sheen.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ware,
+    Who rode on the back of a bear;
+    When they ask'd, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!
+    He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Janina,
+    Whose uncle was always a fanning her;
+    When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said,
+    "You propitious old person of Janina!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Cashmere,
+    Whose movements were scroobious and queer;
+    Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,
+    And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Cassel,
+    Whose nose finished off in a tassel;
+    But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell!"
+    Which perplexed that old person of Cassel.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pett,
+    Who was partly consumed by regret;
+    He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,
+    Which relieved that old person of Pett.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Spithead,
+    Who opened the window, and said,--
+    "Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"
+    That doubtful old man of Spithead.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man on the Border,
+    Who lived in the utmost disorder;
+    He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,
+    Which vexed all the folks on the Border.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dumbree,
+    Who taught little owls to drink tea;
+    For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"
+    That amiable man of Dumbree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Filey,
+    Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
+    He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,
+    And delighted the people of Filey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man whose remorse
+    Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;
+    For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,
+    It will certainly soothe your remorse!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Ibreem,
+    Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;
+    But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue,
+    You disgusting old man of Ibreem!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Wilts,
+    Who constantly walked upon stilts;
+    He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,
+    That elegant person of Wilts.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Grange,
+    Whose manners were scroobious and strange;
+    He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,
+    That aquatic old person of Grange.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Newry,
+    Whose manners were tinctured with fury;
+    He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,
+    Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dumblane,
+    Who greatly resembled a crane;
+    But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
+    To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Port Grigor,
+    Whose actions were noted for vigour;
+    He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,
+    That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of El Hums,
+    Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
+    Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
+    In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of West Dumpet,
+    Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
+    When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,
+    And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sark,
+    Who made an unpleasant remark;
+    But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be,
+    You obnoxious old person of Sark!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man whose despair
+    Induced him to purchase a hare:
+    Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away,
+    Which partly assuaged his despair.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Barnes,
+    Whose garments were covered with darns;
+    But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out,
+    You luminous person of Barnes!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Nice,
+    Whose associates were usually Geese.
+    They walked out together in all sorts of weather,
+    That affable person of Nice!
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Greenwich,
+    Whose garments were border'd with Spinach;
+    But a large spotty Calf bit her shawl quite in half,
+    Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Cannes,
+    Who purchased three fowls and a fan;
+    Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool
+    She constantly fanned them at Cannes.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ickley,
+    Who could not abide to ride quickly;
+    He rode to Karnak on a tortoise's back,
+    That moony old person of Ickley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Hyde,
+    Who walked by the shore with his bride,
+    Till a Crab who came near fill'd their bosoms with fear,
+    And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person in gray,
+    Whose feelings were tinged with dismay;
+    She purchased two parrots, and fed them with carrots,
+    Which pleased that old person in gray.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Ancona,
+    Who found a small dog with no owner,
+    Which he took up and down all the streets of the town,
+    That anxious old man of Ancona.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sestri,
+    Who sate himself down in the vestry;
+    When they said, "You are wrong!" he merely said "Bong!"
+    That repulsive old person of Sestri.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Blythe,
+    Who cut up his meat with a scythe;
+    When they said, "Well! I never!" he cried, "Scythes for ever!"
+    That lively old person of Blythe.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Ayr,
+    Whose head was remarkably square:
+    On the top, in fine weather, she wore a gold feather;
+    Which dazzled the people of Ayr.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Rimini,
+    Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!"
+    When they said, "Please be still!" she ran down a hill,
+    And was never more heard of at Rimini.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There is a young lady, whose nose,
+    Continually prospers and grows;
+    When it grew out of sight, she exclaimed in a fright,
+    "Oh! Farewell to the end of my nose!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ealing,
+    Who was wholly devoid of good feeling;
+    He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig,
+    Which distressed all the people of Ealing.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Thames Ditton,
+    Who called out for something to sit on;
+    But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon that,
+    You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bray,
+    Who sang through the whole of the day
+    To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs,
+    That valuable person of Bray.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person whose history
+    Was always considered a mystery;
+    She sate in a ditch, although no one knew which,
+    And composed a small treatise on history.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bow,
+    Whom nobody happened to know;
+    So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope
+    You will go back directly to Bow!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Rye,
+    Who went up to town on a fly;
+    But they said, "If you cough, you are safe to fall off!
+    You abstemious old person of Rye!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Crowle,
+    Who lived in the nest of an owl;
+    When they screamed in the nest, he screamed out with the rest,
+    That depressing old person of Crowle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,
+    Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see
+    On the floor of my room, sweep it up with the broom!"
+    That exhaustive old Lady of Winchelsea!
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a tree,
+    Whose whiskers were lovely to see;
+    But the birds of the air pluck'd them perfectly bare,
+    To make themselves nests in that tree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Corsica,
+    Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur;
+    Which she fed upon ham, and hot raspberry jam,
+    That expensive young lady of Corsica.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Firle,
+    Whose hair was addicted to curl;
+    It curled up a tree, and all over the sea,
+    That expansive young lady of Firle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Stroud,
+    Who was horribly jammed in a crowd;
+    Some she slew with a kick, some she scrunched with a stick,
+    That impulsive old person of Stroud.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Boulak,
+    Who sate on a Crocodile's back;
+    But they said, "Towr'ds the night he may probably bite,
+    Which might vex you, old man of Boulak!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Skye,
+    Who waltz'd with a Bluebottle fly:
+    They buzz'd a sweet tune, to the light of the moon,
+    And entranced all the people of Skye.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Blackheath,
+    Whose head was adorned with a wreath
+    Of lobsters and spice, pickled onions and mice,
+    That uncommon old man of Blackheath.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man, who when little
+    Fell casually into a kettle;
+    But, growing too stout, he could never get out,
+    So he passed all his life in that kettle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Dundalk,
+    Who tried to teach fishes to walk;
+    When they tumbled down dead, he grew weary, and said,
+    "I had better go back to Dundalk!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Shoreham,
+    Whose habits were marked by decorum;
+    He bought an Umbrella, and sate in the cellar,
+    Which pleased all the people of Shoreham.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bar,
+    Who passed all her life in a jar,
+    Which she painted pea-green, to appear more serene,
+    That placid old person of Bar.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Kew,
+    Whose virtues and vices were few;
+    But with blamable haste she devoured some hot paste,
+    Which destroyed that young person of Kew.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Jodd,
+    Whose ways were perplexing and odd;
+    She purchased a whistle, and sate on a thistle,
+    And squeaked to the people of Jodd.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bude,
+    Whose deportment was vicious and crude;
+    He wore a large ruff of pale straw-colored stuff,
+    Which perplexed all the people of Bude.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Brigg,
+    Who purchased no end of a wig;
+    So that only his nose, and the end of his toes,
+    Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Messina,
+    Whose daughter was named Opsibeena;
+    She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig,
+    To the perfect delight of Messina.
+
+
+
+
+TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES.
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,
+    who resided in a Barrel, and only lived on
+    Soda Water and Pickled Cucumbers.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Bountiful Beetle,
+    who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn't rain,
+    and left it at home when it did.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Comfortable Confidential Cow,
+    who sate in her Red Morocco Arm Chair and
+    toasted her own Bread at the parlour Fire.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Dolomphious Duck,
+    who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner
+    with a Runcible Spoon.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Enthusiastic Elephant,
+    who ferried himself across the water with the
+    Kitchen Poker and a New pair of Ear-rings.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Fizzgiggious Fish,
+    who always walked about upon Stilts,
+    because he had no legs.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Good-natured Grey Gull,
+    who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag,
+    across the river, because he could not swim.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,
+    who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,
+    and bought a Fish for her Supper.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Inventive Indian,
+    who caught a Remarkable Rabbit in a
+    Stupendous Silver Spoon.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Judicious Jubilant Jay,
+    who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses,
+    Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Kicking Kangaroo,
+    who wore a Pale Pink Muslin dress
+    with Blue spots.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Lively Learned Lobster,
+    who mended his own Clothes with
+    a Needle and Thread.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,
+    who played a merry minuet on the
+    Piano-forte.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Nutritious Newt,
+    who purchased a Round Plum-pudding
+    for his grand-daughter.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,
+    who wore Boots to keep his
+    feet quite dry.
+
+    [Illustration: PARSNIP PIE]
+
+    The Perpendicular Purple Polly,
+    who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie
+    with his Spectacles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Queer Querulous Quail,
+    who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of
+    a Tin Tea-kettle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Rural Runcible Raven,
+    who wore a White Wig and flew away
+    with the Carpet Broom.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Scroobious Snake,
+    who always wore a Hat on his Head, for
+    fear he should bite anybody.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,
+    who beat a Drum all day long in the
+    middle of the wilderness.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,
+    whose Face nobody ever saw, because it was
+    always covered by his Umbrella.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Visibly Vicious Vulture,
+    who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a
+    Volume bound in Vellum.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,
+    who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a
+    Flute with a Morning Cap.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Excellent Double-extra XX
+    imbibing King Xerxes, who lived a
+    long while ago.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+    whose Head was ever so much bigger than his
+    Body, and whose Hat was rather small.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,
+    who carried five Monkeys on his back all
+    the way to Jellibolee.
+
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+LAUGHABLE LYRICS
+
+A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+Author of the _Book of Nonsense_, _More Nonsense_,
+_Nonsense Songs, Stories_, etc., etc.
+
+
+With All the Original Illustrations.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+    LAUGHABLE LYRICS.
+        THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE
+        THE TWO OLD BACHELORS
+        THE PELICAN CHORUS
+        THE YONGHY-BONGHY-Bo
+        THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES
+        THE NEW VESTMENTS
+        MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS
+        THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT
+        THE CUMMERBUND
+        THE AKOND OF SWAT
+
+    NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+      " ALPHABET, No. 5
+      "       "   No. 6
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+LAUGHABLE LYRICS.
+
+
+THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    When awful darkness and silence reign
+    Over the great Gromboolian plain,
+        Through the long, long wintry nights;
+    When the angry breakers roar
+    As they beat on the rocky shore;
+        When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights
+    Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,--
+
+    Then, through the vast and gloomy dark
+    There moves what seems a fiery spark,--
+        A lonely spark with silvery rays
+        Piercing the coal-black night,--
+        A Meteor strange and bright:
+    Hither and thither the vision strays,
+        A single lurid light.
+
+    Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,--
+    Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps;
+    And ever as onward it gleaming goes
+    A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.
+    And those who watch at that midnight hour
+    From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,
+    Cry, as the wild light passes along,--
+       "The Dong! the Dong!
+      The wandering Dong through the forest goes!
+        The Dong! the Dong!
+      The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
+
+        Long years ago
+      The Dong was happy and gay,
+    Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl
+      Who came to those shores one day.
+    For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,--
+    Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd
+        Where the Oblong Oysters grow,
+      And the rocks are smooth and gray.
+    And all the woods and the valleys rang
+    With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,--
+        "_Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
+          Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve._"
+
+    Happily, happily passed those days!
+      While the cheerful Jumblies staid;
+        They danced in circlets all night long,
+        To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,
+      In moonlight, shine, or shade.
+    For day and night he was always there
+    By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,
+    With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair;
+    Till the morning came of that hateful day
+    When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,
+    And the Dong was left on the cruel shore
+    Gazing, gazing for evermore,--
+    Ever keeping his weary eyes on
+    That pea-green sail on the far horizon,--
+    Singing the Jumbly Chorus still
+    As he sate all day on the grassy hill,--
+        "_Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
+          Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve_."
+
+    But when the sun was low in the West,
+        The Dong arose and said,--
+    "What little sense I once possessed
+        Has quite gone out of my head!"
+    And since that day he wanders still
+    By lake and forest, marsh and hill,
+    Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain,
+    Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!
+    For ever I'll seek by lake and shore
+    Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!"
+
+        Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,
+        Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks;
+        And because by night he could not see,
+        He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree
+          On the flowery plain that grows.
+          And he wove him a wondrous Nose,--
+        A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!
+
+    Of vast proportions and painted red,
+    And tied with cords to the back of his head.
+        In a hollow rounded space it ended
+        With a luminous Lamp within suspended,
+            All fenced about
+            With a bandage stout
+            To prevent the wind from blowing it out;
+        And with holes all round to send the light
+        In gleaming rays on the dismal night
+
+    And now each night, and all night long,
+    Over those plains still roams the Dong;
+    And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe
+    You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,
+    While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,
+    To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;
+    Lonely and wild, all night he goes,--
+    The Dong with a luminous Nose!
+    And all who watch at the midnight hour,
+    From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,
+    Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,
+    Moving along through the dreary night,--
+       "This is the hour when forth he goes,
+        The Dong with a luminous Nose!
+        Yonder, over the plain he goes,--
+            He goes!
+            He goes,--
+        The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
+
+
+
+
+THE TWO OLD BACHELORS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Two old Bachelors were living in one house;
+One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.
+Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,--
+"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house,
+Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,
+And what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money?
+And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner,
+But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?"
+
+Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,--
+"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'!
+If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;
+But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!"
+
+Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town
+And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down;
+They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found
+In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round.
+
+But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north,
+And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;
+And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,--
+An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page.
+Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all studious as he sits,--
+And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits!
+Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),--
+When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps."
+
+Those two old Bachelors without loss of time
+The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb;
+And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook,
+They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book.
+
+"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in!
+We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!"
+
+But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book,
+At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;
+And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,--
+At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town;
+And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want
+                                                          of Stuffin'),
+The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin.
+
+They left their home in silence by the once convivial door;
+And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more.
+
+
+[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans]
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+THE PELICAN CHORUS.
+
+    King and Queen of the Pelicans we;
+     No other Birds so grand we see!
+    None but we have feet like fins!
+    With lovely leathery throats and chins!
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still
+
+    We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.
+    By night we sleep on the cliffs above;
+    By day we fish, and at eve we stand
+    On long bare islands of yellow sand.
+    And when the sun sinks slowly down,
+    And the great rock walls grow dark and brown,
+
+    Where the purple river rolls fast and dim
+    And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,
+    Wing to wing we dance around,
+    Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound,
+    Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;
+    And this is the song we nightly snort,--
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    Last year came out our Daughter Dell,
+    And all the Birds received her well.
+    To do her honor a feast we made
+    For every bird that can swim or wade,--
+    Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,
+    Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,
+    Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,
+    Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:
+    Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!
+    They ate and drank and danced all night,
+    And echoing back from the rocks you heard
+    Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,--
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    Yes, they came; and among the rest
+    The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.
+    Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float
+    Between the ends of his blue dress-coat;
+    With pea-green trowsers all so neat,
+    And a delicate frill to hide his feet
+    (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows
+    He has got no webs between his toes).
+
+    As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,
+    In violent love that Crane King fell,--
+    On seeing her waddling form so fair,
+    With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair.
+    And before the end of the next long day
+    Our Dell had given her heart away;
+    For the King of the Cranes had won that heart
+    With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.
+    She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,
+    Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;
+    And away they flew in a gathering crowd
+    Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud.
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    And far away in the twilight sky
+    We heard them singing a lessening cry,--
+    Farther and farther, till out of sight,
+    And we stood alone in the silent night!
+    Often since, in the nights of June,
+    We sit on the sand and watch the moon,--
+
+    She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain,
+    And we probably never shall meet again!
+    Oft, in the long still nights of June,
+    We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,--
+    She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore.
+    And we probably never shall see her more.
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+[NOTE.--The Air of this and the following Song by Edward Lear; the
+Arrangement for the Piano by Professor Pome, of San Remo, Italy.]
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Yonghy Bonghy Bo]
+
+
+
+THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BO.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    On the Coast of Coromandel
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          In the middle of the woods
+      Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+    Two old chairs, and half a candle,
+    One old jug without a handle,--
+          These were all his worldly goods:
+          In the middle of the woods,
+          These were all the worldly goods
+      Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bo.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Once, among the Bong-trees walking
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          To a little heap of stones
+      Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+    There he heard a Lady talking,
+    To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,--
+        "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!
+          On that little heap of stones
+          Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+   "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!
+         Sitting where the pumpkins blow,
+           Will you come and be my wife?"
+       Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+   "I am tired of living singly--
+    On this coast so wild and shingly,--
+          I'm a-weary of my life;
+          If you'll come and be my wife,
+          Quite serene would be my life!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    "On this Coast of Coromandel
+         Shrimps and watercresses grow,
+           Prawns are plentiful and cheap,"
+       Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+   "You shall have my chairs and candle,
+    And my jug without a handle!
+          Gaze upon the rolling deep
+         (Fish is plentiful and cheap);
+          As the sea, my love is deep!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Lady Jingly answered sadly,
+         And her tears began to flow,--
+          "Your proposal comes too late,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+    I would be your wife most gladly!"
+    (Here she twirled her fingers madly,)
+         "But in England I've a mate!
+          Yes! you've asked me far too late,
+          For in England I've a mate,
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+   "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,--
+         Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.)
+           Dorking fowls delights to send,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+    Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle,
+    And your jug without a handle,--
+          I can merely be your friend!
+          Should my Jones more Dorkings send,
+          I will give you three, my friend!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bo!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+
+
+                    VII.
+
+   "Though you've such a tiny body,
+         And your head so large doth grow,--
+           Though your hat may blow away,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+    Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy,
+    Yet I wish that I could modi-
+          fy the words I needs must say!
+          Will you please to go away?
+          That is all I have to say,
+      Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bo!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!"
+
+
+                    VIII.
+
+    Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle,
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          To the calm and silent sea
+       Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+    There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle,
+    Lay a large and lively Turtle.
+         "You're the Cove," he said, "for me;
+          On your back beyond the sea,
+          Turtle, you shall carry me!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    IX.
+
+    Through the silent-roaring ocean
+        Did the Turtle swiftly go;
+          Holding fast upon his shell
+      Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+    With a sad primaeval motion
+    Towards the sunset isles of Boshen
+          Still the Turtle bore him well.
+          Holding fast upon his shell,
+         "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"
+      Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+
+                    X.
+
+    From the Coast of Coromandel
+        Did that Lady never go;
+          On that heap of stones she mourns
+      For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+    On that Coast of Coromandel,
+    In his jug without a handle
+        Still she weeps, and daily moans;
+        On that little heap of stones
+        To her Dorking Hens she moans,
+          For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+          For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+
+
+
+THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes
+        Had once as many as we;
+    When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;"
+        He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!"
+    And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink
+    Lavender water tinged with pink;
+    For she said, "The World in general knows
+    There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!"
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes,
+        Swam across the Bristol Channel;
+    But before he set out he wrapped his nose
+        In a piece of scarlet flannel.
+    For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm
+    Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;
+    And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes
+    Are safe--provided he minds his nose."
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    The Pobble swam fast and well,
+        And when boats or ships came near him,
+    He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell
+        So that all the world could hear him.
+    And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,
+    When they saw him nearing the further side,--
+   "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's
+    Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    But before he touched the shore,--
+        The shore of the Bristol Channel,
+    A sea-green Porpoise carried away
+        His wrapper of scarlet flannel.
+    And when he came to observe his feet,
+    Formerly garnished with toes so neat,
+    His face at once became forlorn
+    On perceiving that all his toes were gone!
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    And nobody ever knew,
+        From that dark day to the present,
+    Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,
+        In a manner so far from pleasant.
+    Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray,
+    Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,
+    Nobody knew; and nobody knows
+    How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes
+        Was placed in a friendly Bark,
+    And they rowed him back, and carried him up
+        To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.
+    And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,
+    Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;
+    And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,
+    That Pobbles are happier without their toes."
+
+
+
+
+THE NEW VESTMENTS.
+
+    There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,
+    Who invented a purely original dress;
+    And when it was perfectly made and complete,
+    He opened the door and walked into the street.
+
+    By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,
+    In the middle of which he inserted his head;
+    His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,
+    The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;
+    His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;
+    His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;
+    His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;
+    His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;
+    His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,
+    And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;
+    And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,
+    A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.
+
+    He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,
+    Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;
+    And from every long street and dark lane in the town
+    Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.
+    Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;
+    Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;
+    Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,
+    And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;
+    An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his
+    Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;
+    And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,
+    Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.
+    He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,
+    For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:
+    They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;
+    They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;
+    And now from the housetops with screechings descend
+    Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end:
+    They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,
+    When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;
+    They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,
+    And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;
+    They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,--
+    Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.
+
+    And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,
+   "I will not wear a similar dress any more,
+    Any more, any more, any more, never more!"
+
+
+
+
+MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS.
+
+                    I.
+
+    Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
+        Climbed to the top of a wall.
+      And they sate to watch the sunset sky,
+      And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,
+        And the Biscuit Buffalo call.
+    They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,
+    And both were as happy as happy could be,
+            Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,--
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            It has just come into my head,
+      Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!
+                        Darling Mr. Discobbolos!
+
+
+                    II.
+
+   "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,
+        Just like pieces of stone,
+      On to the thorns, or into the moat,
+      What would become of your new green coat?
+        And might you not break a bone?
+    It never occurred to me before,
+    That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"
+            And Mrs. Discobbolos said,
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            What put it into your head
+      To climb up this wall, my own
+                        Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    Mr. Discobbolos answered,
+       "At first it gave me pain,
+      And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink
+      When your exclamation made me think
+        We might never get down again!
+    But now I believe it is wiser far
+    To remain for ever just where we are."
+            And Mr. Discobbolos said,
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            It has just come into my head
+      We shall never go down again,
+                        Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
+        Stood up and began to sing,--
+     "Far away from hurry and strife
+      Here we will pass the rest of life,
+        Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!
+    We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,
+    No tables nor carpets nor household cares;
+            From worry of life we've fled;
+            Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            There is no more trouble ahead,
+      Sorrow or any such thing,
+                        For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"
+
+
+
+
+THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
+        The Quangle Wangle sat,
+    But his face you could not see,
+        On account of his Beaver Hat.
+    For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,
+    With ribbons and bibbons on every side,
+    And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,
+    So that nobody ever could see the face
+            Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    The Quangle Wangle said
+        To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
+    "Jam, and jelly, and bread
+        Are the best of food for me!
+    But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree
+    The plainer than ever it seems to me
+    That very few people come this way
+    And that life on the whole is far from gay!"
+            Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    But there came to the Crumpetty Tree
+        Mr. and Mrs. Canary;
+    And they said, "Did ever you see
+        Any spot so charmingly airy?
+    May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?
+    Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
+    O please let us come and build a nest
+    Of whatever material suits you best,
+            Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree
+        Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;
+    The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,
+        The Frog and the Fimble Fowl
+    (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);
+    And all of them said, "We humbly beg
+    We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,--
+    Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
+       Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    And the Golden Grouse came there,
+        And the Pobble who has no toes,
+    And the small Olympian bear,
+        And the Dong with a luminous nose.
+    And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,
+    And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,
+    And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,--
+    All came and built on the lovely Hat
+      Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+                    VI.
+
+    And the Quangle Wangle said
+        To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
+    "When all these creatures move
+        What a wonderful noise there'll be!"
+    And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon
+    They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,
+    On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,
+    And all were as happy as happy could be,
+      With the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+
+
+THE CUMMERBUND.
+An Indian Poem.
+
+                    I.
+
+She sate upon her Dobie,
+    To watch the Evening Star,
+And all the Punkahs, as they passed,
+    Cried, "My! how fair you are!"
+Around her bower, with quivering leaves,
+    The tall Kamsamahs grew,
+And Kitmutgars in wild festoons
+    Hung down from Tchokis blue.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+Below her home the river rolled
+    With soft meloobious sound,
+Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam,
+    In myriads circling round.
+Above, on tallest trees remote
+    Green Ayahs perched alone,
+And all night long the Mussak moan'd
+    Its melancholy tone.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+And where the purple Nullahs threw
+    Their branches far and wide,
+And silvery Goreewallahs flew
+    In silence, side by side,
+The little Bheesties' twittering cry
+    Rose on the flagrant air,
+And oft the angry Jampan howled
+    Deep in his hateful lair.
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+She sate upon her Dobie,
+    She heard the Nimmak hum,
+When all at once a cry arose,
+    "The Cummerbund is come!"
+In vain she fled: with open jaws
+    The angry monster followed,
+And so (before assistance came)
+    That Lady Fair was swollowed.
+
+
+                    V.
+
+They sought in vain for even a bone
+    Respectfully to bury;
+They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!"
+    (And Echo answered, "Very.")
+They nailed her Dobie to the wall,
+    Where last her form was seen,
+And underneath they wrote these words,
+    In yellow, blue, and green:
+"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!
+    Nor sit out late at night,
+Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,
+    And swollow you outright."
+
+
+NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874.
+
+
+
+
+THE AKOND OF SWAT.
+
+
+    Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT?
+    Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?
+    Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,             or SQUAT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
+    Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,             or HOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,
+    And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,          or TROT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?
+    Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,          or a COT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
+    Does he cross his T's and finish his I's              with a DOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Can he write a letter concisely clear
+    Without a speck or a smudge or smear                    or BLOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Do his people like him extremely well?
+    Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,                   or PLOT,
+                                                    At the Akond of Swat?
+
+    If he catches them then, either old or young,
+    Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,            or _shot_,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Do his people prig in the lanes or park?
+    Or even at times, when days are dark,                   GAROTTE?
+                                                     O the Akond of Swat!
+
+    Does he study the wants of his own dominion?
+    Or doesn't he care for public opinion                    a JOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    To amuse his mind do his people show him
+    Pictures, or any one's last new poem,                    or WHAT,
+                                                   For the Akond of Swat?
+
+    At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,
+    Do they bring him only a few small cakes,               or a LOT,
+                                                   For the Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?
+    Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,      or a DOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like to lie on his back in a boat
+    Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,            SHALLOTT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?
+    Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,           or a SCOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?
+    Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,            or a GROTT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
+    Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?              or a POT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,
+    When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,            or ROT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,
+    And tie it neat in a bow with ends,                    or a KNOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
+    When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,          or NOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
+    Does he sail about on an inland lake,                  in a YACHT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
+    Who or which or why or what
+                                                    Is the Akond of Swat!
+
+
+NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_.
+The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the
+monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia.]
+
+[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.]
+
+[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida.]
+
+[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica.]
+
+[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice.]
+
+[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum.]
+
+[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa.]
+
+[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyoeides.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE ALPHABETS.
+
+
+                     A
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    A was an Area Arch
+        Where washerwomen sat;
+    They made a lot of lovely starch
+        To starch Papa's Cravat.
+
+
+                     B
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    B was a Bottle blue,
+        Which was not very small;
+    Papa he filled it full of beer,
+        And then he drank it all.
+
+
+                     C
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    C was Papa's gray Cat,
+        Who caught a squeaky Mouse;
+    She pulled him by his twirly tail
+        All about the house.
+
+
+                     D
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    D was Papa's white Duck,
+        Who had a curly tail;
+    One day it ate a great fat frog,
+        Besides a leetle snail.
+
+
+                     E
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    E was a little Egg,
+        Upon the breakfast table;
+    Papa came in and ate it up
+        As fast as he was able.
+
+
+                     F
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    F was a little Fish.
+        Cook in the river took it
+    Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!
+        And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"
+
+
+                     G
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    G was Papa's new Gun;
+        He put it in a box;
+    And then he went and bought a bun,
+        And walked about the Docks.
+
+
+                     H
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    H was Papa's new Hat;
+        He wore it on his head;
+    Outside it was completely black,
+        But inside it was red.
+
+
+                     I
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    I was an Inkstand new,
+        Papa he likes to use it;
+    He keeps it in his pocket now,
+        For fear that he should lose it.
+
+
+                     J
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    J was some Apple Jam,
+        Of which Papa ate part;
+    But all the rest he took away
+        And stuffed into a tart.
+
+
+                     K
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    K was a great new Kite;
+        Papa he saw it fly
+    Above a thousand chimney pots,
+        And all about the sky.
+
+
+                     L
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    L was a fine new Lamp;
+        But when the wick was lit,
+    Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!
+        I cannot read a bit!"
+
+
+                     M
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    M was a dish of mince;
+        It looked so good to eat!
+    Papa, he quickly ate it up,
+        And said, "This is a treat!"
+
+
+                     N
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    N was a Nut that grew
+        High up upon a tree;
+    Papa, who could not reach it, said,
+        "That's _much_ too high for me!"
+
+
+                     O
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    O was an Owl who flew
+        All in the dark away,
+    Papa said, "What an owl you are!
+        Why don't you fly by day?"
+
+                     P
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    P was a little Pig,
+        Went out to take a walk;
+    Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,
+        He'd all turn into Pork!"
+
+
+                     Q
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a Quince that hung
+        Upon a garden tree;
+    Papa he brought it with him home,
+        And ate it with his tea.
+
+
+                     R
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    R was a Railway Rug
+        Extremely large and warm;
+    Papa he wrapped it round his head,
+        In a most dreadful storm.
+
+
+                     S
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    S was Papa's new Stick,
+        Papa's new thumping Stick,
+    To thump extremely wicked boys,
+        Because it was so thick.
+
+
+                     T
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    T was a tumbler full
+        Of Punch all hot and good;
+    Papa he drank it up, when in
+        The middle of a wood.
+
+
+                     U
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    U was a silver urn,
+        Full of hot scalding water;
+    Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,
+        I'd give it to my daughter!"
+
+
+                     V
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    V was a Villain; once
+        He stole a piece of beef.
+    Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!
+        That Villain is a Thief!"
+
+
+                     W
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    W was a Watch of Gold:
+        It told the time of day,
+    So that Papa knew when to come,
+        And when to go away.
+
+
+                     X
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes, whom
+        Papa much wished to know;
+    But this he could not do, because
+        Xerxes died long ago.
+
+
+                     Y
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a Youth, who kicked
+        And screamed and cried like mad;
+    Papa he said, "Your conduct is
+        Abominably bad!"
+
+
+                     Z
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Z was a Zebra striped
+        And streaked with lines of black;
+    Papa said once, he thought he'd like
+        A ride upon his back.
+
+
+
+
+ALPHABET, No. 6.
+
+    A tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood,
+
+    B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!"
+
+    C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm."
+
+    D said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm."
+
+    E said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well."
+
+    F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell."
+
+    G said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold."
+
+    H said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold."
+
+    I said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon."
+
+    J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!"
+
+    K said, "A Kangaroo is here,--this picture let him see."
+
+    L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea."
+
+    M said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction."
+
+    N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction."
+
+    O said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink."
+
+    P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think."
+
+    Q said, "A Quince I recommend,--a Quince, or else a Quail."
+
+    R said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail."
+
+    S said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!"
+
+    T said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!"
+
+    U said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!"
+
+    V said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!"
+
+    W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!"
+
+    X said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!"
+
+    Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!"
+
+    Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!
+             We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little
+                 master!
+             We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad
+                 disaster!"
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NONSENSE BOOKS***
+
+
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diff --git a/13650.zip b/13650.zip
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #13650 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13650)
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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Nonsense Books, by Edward Lear
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Nonsense Books
+
+Author: Edward Lear
+
+Release Date: October 8, 2004  [eBook #13650]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NONSENSE BOOKS***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney, A. Deubelbeiss, Stan
+Goodman, and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which
+      includes the original illustrations and music clips as well as
+      midi, pdf, and lilypond files.
+      See 13650-h.htm or 13650-h.zip:
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/5/13650/13650-h/13650-h.htm)
+      or
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/5/13650/13650-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOOKS
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+With all the Original Illustrations
+
+1894
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+PUBLISHERS' NOTICE.
+The first _Book of Nonsense_ was published in 1846. Three other volumes,--
+_Nonsense Songs, Stories, etc._, published in 1871; _More Nonsense
+Pictures, etc._, in 1872; and _Laughable Lyrics: A Fresh Book of Nonsense,
+etc._, in 1877,--comprise all the "Nonsense Books" written by Mr. Lear.
+
+
+
+
+  "Surely the most beneficent and innocent of all books
+  yet produced is the _Book of Nonsense_, with its corollary
+  carols, inimitable and refreshing, and perfect in rhythm.
+  I really don't know any author to whom I am half so
+  grateful for my idle self as Edward Lear. I shall put
+  him first of my hundred authors."
+
+  JOHN RUSKIN,
+
+    In the _List of the Best Hundred Authors_.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: EDWARD LEAR. ENGRAVED BY ANDREW FROM A PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN IN
+SAN REMO, BY RONCAROLO.]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+   I.   A BOOK OF NONSENSE.
+   II.  NONSENSE SONGS, STORIES, BOTANY, AND ALPHABETS.
+   III. MORE NONSENSE PICTURES, RHYMES, BOTANY, ETC.
+   IV.  LAUGHABLE LYRICS:
+        A FRESH BOOK OF NONSENSE POEMS, SONGS, BOTANY, ETC.
+
+
+[Illustration: QUI LEGIT REGIT.]
+
+
+
+
+The following lines by Mr. Lear were written for a young lady of his
+acquaintance, who had quoted to him the words of a young lady not of his
+acquaintance,
+
+  "How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"
+
+      "How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"
+        Who has written such volumes of stuff!
+      Some think him ill-tempered and queer,
+        But a few think him pleasant enough.
+
+      His mind is concrete and fastidious,
+        His nose is remarkably big;
+      His visage is more or less hideous,
+        His beard it resembles a wig.
+
+      He has ears, and two eyes, and ten fingers,
+        Leastways if you reckon two thumbs;
+      Long ago he was one of the singers,
+        But now he is one of the dumbs.
+
+      He sits in a beautiful parlor,
+        With hundreds of books on the wall;
+      He drinks a great deal of Marsala,
+        But never gets tipsy at all.
+
+      He has many friends, lay men and clerical,
+        Old Foss is the name of his cat;
+      His body is perfectly spherical,
+        He weareth a runcible hat.
+
+      When he walks in waterproof white,
+        The children run after him so!
+      Calling out, "He's come out in his night-
+        Gown, that crazy old Englishman, oh!"
+
+      He weeps by the side of the ocean,
+        He weeps on the top of the hill;
+      He purchases pancakes and lotion,
+        And chocolate shrimps from the mill.
+
+      He reads, but he cannot speak, Spanish,
+        He cannot abide ginger beer:
+      Ere the days of his pilgrimage vanish,
+        How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+Edward Lear, the artist, Author of "Journals of a Landscape Painter" in
+various out-of-the-way countries, and of the delightful "Books of
+Nonsense," which have amused successive generations of children, died on
+Sunday, January 29, 1888, at San Remo, Italy, where he had lived for twenty
+years. Few names could evoke a wider expression of passing regret at their
+appearance in the obituary column; for until his health began to fail he
+was known to an immense and almost a cosmopolitan circle of acquaintance,
+and popular wherever he was known. Fewer still could call up in the minds
+of intimate friends a deeper and more enduring feeling of sorrow for
+personal loss, mingled with the pleasantest of memories; for it was
+impossible to know him thoroughly and not to love him. London, Rome, the
+Mediterranean countries generally, Ceylon and India, are still all dotted
+with survivors among his generation who will mourn for him affectionately,
+although his latter years were spent in comparatively close retirement. He
+was a man of striking nobility of nature, fearless, independent, energetic,
+given to forming for himself strong opinions, often hastily, sometimes
+bitterly; not always strong or sound in judgment, but always seeking after
+truth in every matter, and following it as he understood it in scorn of
+consequence; utterly unselfish, devoted to his friends, generous even to
+extravagance towards any one who had ever been connected with his fortunes
+or his travels; playful, light-hearted, witty, and humorous, but not
+without those occasional fits of black depression and nervous irritability
+to which such temperaments are liable.
+
+Great and varied as the merits of his pictures are, Lear hardly succeeded
+in achieving any great popularity as a landscape-painter. His work was
+frequently done on private commission, and he rarely sent in pictures for
+the Academy or other exhibitions. His larger and more highly finished
+landscapes were unequal in technical perfection,--sometimes harsh or cold
+in color, or stiff in composition; sometimes full of imagination, at others
+literal and prosaic,--but always impressive reproductions of interesting or
+peculiar scenery. In later years he used in conversation to qualify himself
+as a "topographical artist;" and the definition was true, though not
+exhaustive. He had an intuitive and a perfectly trained eye for the
+character and beauty of distant mountain lines, the solemnity of rocky
+gorges, the majesty of a single mountain rising from a base of plain or
+sea; and he was equally exact in rendering the true forms of the middle
+distances and the specialties of foreground detail belonging to the various
+lands through which he had wandered as a sketcher. Some of his pictures
+show a mastery which has rarely been equalled over the difficulties of
+painting an immense plain as seen from a height, reaching straight away
+from the eye of the spectator until it is lost in a dim horizon. Sir
+Roderick Murchison used to say that he always understood the geological
+peculiarities of a country he had only studied in Lear's sketches. The
+compliment was thoroughly justified; and it is not every landscape-painter
+to whom it could honestly be paid.
+
+The history of Lear's choice of a career was a curious one. He was the
+youngest of twenty-one children, and, through a family mischance, was
+thrown entirely on the limited resources of an elderly sister at a very
+early age. As a boy he had always dabbled in colors for his own amusement,
+and had been given to poring over the ordinary boys' books upon natural
+history. It occurred to him to try to turn his infant talents to account;
+and he painted upon cardboard a couple of birds in the style which the
+older among us remember as having been called Oriental tinting, took them
+to a small shop, and sold them for fourpence. The kindness of friends, to
+whom he was ever grateful, gave him the opportunity of more serious and
+more remunerative study, and he became a patient and accurate zoölogical
+draughtsman. Many of the birds in the earlier volumes of Gould's
+magnificent folios were drawn for him by Lear. A few years back there were
+eagles alive in the Zoölogical Gardens in Regent's Park to which Lear could
+point as old familiar friends that he had drawn laboriously from claw to
+beak fifty years before. He united with this kind of work the more
+unpleasant occupation of drawing the curiosities of disease or deformity in
+hospitals. One day, as he was busily intent on the portrait of a bird in
+the Zoölogical Gardens, an old gentleman came and looked over his shoulder,
+entered into conversation, and finally said to him, "You must come and draw
+my birds at Knowsley." Lear did not know where Knowsley was, or what it
+meant; but the old gentleman was the thirteenth Earl of Derby. The
+successive Earls of Derby have been among Lear's kindest and most generous
+patrons. He went to Knowsley, and the drawings in the "Knowsley Menagerie"
+(now a rare and highly-prized work among book collectors) are by Lear's
+hand. At Knowsley he became a permanent favorite; and it was there that he
+composed in prolific succession his charming and wonderful series of
+utterly nonsensical rhymes and drawings. Lear had already begun seriously
+to study landscape. When English winters began to threaten his health, Lord
+Derby started a subscription which enabled him to go to Rome as a student
+and artist, and no doubt gave him recommendations among Anglo-Roman
+society which laid the foundations of a numerous _clientèle_. It was in the
+Roman summers that Lear first began to exercise the taste for pictorial
+wandering which grew into a habit and a passion, to fill vivid and copious
+note-books as he went, and to illustrate them by spirited and accurate
+drawings; and his first volume of "Illustrated Excursions in Italy,"
+published in 1846, is gratefully dedicated to his Knowsley patron.
+
+Only those who have travelled with him could know what a delightful comrade
+he was to men whose tastes ran more or less parallel to his own. It was not
+everybody who could travel with him; for he was so irrepressibly anxious
+not to lose a moment of the time at his disposal for gathering into his
+garners the beauty and interest of the lands over which he journeyed, that
+he was careless of comfort and health. Calabria, Sicily, the Desert of
+Sinai, Egypt and Nubia, Greece and Albania, Palestine, Syria, Athos,
+Candia, Montenegro, Zagóri (who knows now where Zagóri is, or was?), were
+as thoroughly explored and sketched by him as the more civilized localities
+of Malta, Corsica, and Corfu. He read insatiably before starting all the
+recognized guide-books and histories of the country he intended to draw;
+and his published itineraries are marked by great strength and literary
+interest quite irrespectively of the illustrations. And he had his reward.
+It is not any ordinary journalist and sketcher who could have compelled
+from Tennyson such a tribute as lines "To E.L. on his Travels in Greece":--
+
+    "Illyrian woodlands, echoing falls
+      Of water, sheets of summer glass,
+      The long divine Peneïan pass,
+    The vast Akrokeraunian walls,
+
+    "Tomohrit, Athos, all things fair,
+      With such a pencil, such a pen,
+      You shadow forth to distant men,
+    I read and felt that I was there."
+
+Lear was a man to whom, as to Tennyson's Ulysses,
+
+    "All experience is an arch wherethrough
+    Gleams that untravelled world."
+
+After settling at San Remo, and when he was nearly sixty years old, he
+determined to visit India and Ceylon. He started once and failed, being
+taken so ill at Suez that he was obliged to return. The next year he
+succeeded, and brought away some thousands of drawings of the most striking
+views from all three Presidencies and from the tropical island. His
+appetite for travel continued to grow with what it fed upon; and although
+he hated a long sea-voyage, he used seriously to contemplate as possible a
+visit to relations in New Zealand. It may safely, however, be averred that
+no considerations would have tempted him to visit the Arctic regions.
+
+    A hard-working life, checkered by the odd adventures which happen
+    to the odd and the adventurous and pass over the commonplace; a
+    career brightened by the high appreciation of unimpeachable
+    critics; lightened, till of late, by the pleasant society and good
+    wishes of innumerable friends; saddened by the growing pressure of
+    ill health and solitude; cheered by his constant trust in the love
+    and sympathy of those who knew him best, however far away,--such
+    was the life of Edward Lear.
+
+      --_The London Saturday Review,_ Feb. 4, 1888.
+
+Among the writers who have striven with varying success during the last
+thirty or forty years to awaken the merriment of the "rising generation" of
+the time being, Mr. Edward Lear occupies the first place in seniority, if
+not in merit. The parent of modern nonsense-writers, he is distinguished
+from all his followers and imitators by the superior consistency with which
+he has adhered to his aim,--that of amusing his readers by fantastic
+absurdities, as void of vulgarity or cynicism as they are incapable of
+being made to harbor any symbolical meaning. He "never deviates into
+sense;" but those who appreciate him never feel the need of such deviation.
+He has a genius for coining absurd names and words, which, even when they
+are suggested by the exigencies of his metre, have a ludicrous
+appropriateness to the matter in hand. His verse is, with the exception of
+a certain number of cockney rhymes, wonderfully flowing and even
+melodious--or, as he would say, _meloobious_--while to all these
+qualifications for his task must finally be added the happy gift of
+pictorial expression, enabling him to double, nay, often to quadruple, the
+laughable effect of his text by an inexhaustible profusion of the quaintest
+designs. Generally speaking, these designs are, as it were, an idealization
+of the efforts of a clever child; but now and then--as in the case of the
+nonsense-botany--Mr. Lear reminds us what a genuine and graceful artist he
+really is. The advantage to a humorist of being able to illustrate his own
+text has been shown in the case of Thackeray and Mr. W.S. Gilbert, to
+mention two familiar examples; but in no other instance of such a
+combination have we discovered such geniality as is to be found in the
+nonsense-pictures of Mr. Lear. We have spoken above of the melodiousness of
+Mr. Lear's verses, a quality which renders them excellently suitable for
+musical setting, and which has not escaped the notice of the author
+himself. We have also heard effective arrangements, presumably by other
+composers, of the adventures of the Table and the Chair, and of the cruise
+of the Owl and the Pussy-cat,--the latter introduced into the "drawing-room
+entertainment" of one of the followers of John Parry. Indeed, in these days
+of adaptations, it is to be wondered at that no enterprising librettist has
+attempted to build a children's comic opera out of the materials supplied
+in the four books with which we are now concerned. The first of these,
+originally published in 1846, and brought out in an enlarged form in 1863,
+is exclusively devoted to nonsense-verses of one type. Mr. Lear is careful
+to disclaim the credit of having created this type, for he tells us in the
+preface to his third book that "the lines beginning, 'There was an old man
+of Tobago,' were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+leading itself to limitless variety for Rhymes and Pictures." Dismissing
+the further question of the authorship of "There was an old man of Tobago,"
+we propose to give a few specimens of Mr. Lear's Protean powers as
+exhibited in the variation of this simple type. Here, to begin with, is a
+favorite verse, which we are very glad to have an opportunity of giving, as
+it is often incorrectly quoted, "cocks" being substituted for "owls" in the
+third line:
+
+    "There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard!'"
+
+With the kindly fatalism which is the distinctive note of the foregoing
+stanza, the sentiment of our next extract is in vivid contrast:--
+
+
+    "There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was terribly bored by a bee;
+    When they said, 'Does it buzz?' he replied, 'Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee.'"
+
+To the foregoing verse an historic interest attaches, if, that is, we are
+right in supposing it to have inspired Mr. Gilbert with his famous
+"Nonsense-Rhyme in Blank Verse." We quote from memory:--
+
+    "There was an Old Man of St. Bees,
+    Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
+    When they asked, 'Does it hurt?' he replied, 'No, it doesn't,
+    But I thought all the while 'twas a Hornet!'"
+
+Passing over the lines referring to the "Young Person" of Crete to whom the
+epithet "ombliferous" is applied, we may be pardoned--on the ground of the
+geographical proximity of the two countries named--for quoting together two
+stanzas which in reality are separated by a good many pages:--
+
+    "There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the doors queezed her flat, she exclaimed, 'What of that?'
+    This courageous young person of Norway."
+
+    "There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, 'Weedon Station!' she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden."
+
+A noticeable feature about this first book, and one which we think is
+peculiar to it, is the harsh treatment which the eccentricities of the
+inhabitants of certain towns appear to have met with at the hands of their
+fellow-residents. No less than three people are "smashed,"--the Old Man of
+Whitehaven "who danced a quadrille with a Raven;" the Old Person of Buda;
+and the Old Man with a gong "who bumped at it all the day long," though in
+the last-named case we admit that there was considerable provocation.
+Before quitting the first "Nonsense-Book," we would point out that it
+contains one or two forms that are interesting; for instance, "scroobious,"
+which we take to be a Portmanteau word, and "spickle-speckled," a favorite
+form of reduplication with Mr. Lear, and of which the best specimen occurs
+in his last book, "He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled the bell." The second book,
+published in 1871, shows Mr. Lear in the maturity of sweet desipience, and
+will perhaps remain the favorite volume of the four to grown-up readers.
+The nonsense-songs are all good, and "The Story of the Four little Children
+who went Round the World" is the most exquisite piece of imaginative
+absurdity that the present writer is acquainted with. But before coming to
+that, let us quote a few lines from "The Jumblies," who, as all the world
+knows, went to sea in a sieve:--
+
+      "They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,
+      To a land all covered with trees.
+    And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart,
+    And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart,
+      And a hive of silvery Bees.
+    And they bought a Pig, and some green Jack-Daws,
+    And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws,
+    And forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree,
+      And no end of Stilton Cheese.
+        _Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live.
+        Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve._
+    And in twenty years they all came back,
+      In twenty years or more,
+    And every one said, 'How tall they've grown!
+    For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
+      And the hills of the Chankly Bore.'"
+
+From the pedestrian excursion of the Table and the Chair, we cannot resist
+making a brief quotation, though in this, as in every case, the inability
+to quote the drawings also is a sad drawback:--
+
+    "So they both went slowly down,
+    And walked about the town,
+    With a cheerful bumpy sound,
+    As they toddled round and round.
+    And everybody cried,
+    As they hastened to their side,
+    'See, the Table and the Chair
+    Have come out to take the air!'
+
+    "But in going down an alley
+    To a castle in a valley,
+    They completely lost their way,
+    And wandered all the day,
+    Till, to see them safely back,
+    They paid a Ducky-Quack,
+    And a Beetle and a Mouse,
+    Who took them to their house.
+
+    "Then they whispered to each other,
+    'O delightful little brother,
+    What a lovely walk we've taken!
+    Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!'
+    So the Ducky and the leetle
+    Browny-Mousy, and the Beetle
+    Dined, and danced upon their heads,
+    Till they toddled to their beds."
+
+"The Story of the Four little Children who went Round the World" follows
+next, and the account of the manner in which they occupied themselves while
+on shipboard may be transcribed for the benefit of those unfortunate
+persons who have not perused the original: "During the day-time Violet
+chiefly occupied herself in putting salt-water into a churn, while her
+three brothers churned it violently in the hope it would turn into butter,
+which it seldom if ever did." After journeying for a time, they saw some
+land at a distance, "and when they came to it they found it was an island
+made of water quite surrounded by earth. Besides that it was bordered by
+evanescent isthmuses with a great Gulf-Stream running about all over it, so
+that it was perfectly beautiful, and contained only a single tree, five
+hundred and three feet high." In a later passage, we read how "by-and-by
+the children came to a country where there were no houses, but only an
+incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks, and of a
+dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue bottles
+contained a bluebottlefly, and all these interesting animals live
+continually together in the most copious and rural harmony, nor perhaps in
+many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found."
+Our last quotation from this inimitable recital shall be from the
+description of their adventure on a great plain where they espied an object
+which "on a nearer approach and on an accurately cutaneous inspection,
+seemed to be somebody in a large white wig sitting on an arm-chair made of
+sponge-cake and oyster-shells." This turned out to be the "Co-operative
+Cauliflower," who, "while the whole party from the boat was gazing at him
+with mingled affection and disgust ... suddenly arose, and in a somewhat
+plumdomphious manner hurried off towards the setting sun, his steps
+supported by two superincumbent confidential cucumbers ... till he finally
+disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a crystal cloud of sudorific
+sand. So remarkable a sight of course impressed the four children very
+deeply; and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong sense of
+undeveloped asthma and a great appetite."
+
+In his third book, Mr. Lear takes occasion in an entertaining preface to
+repudiate the charge of harboring any ulterior motive beyond that of
+"Nonsense pure and absolute" in any of his verses or pictures, and tells a
+delightful anecdote illustrative of the "persistently absurd report" that
+the Earl of Derby was the author of the first book of "Nonsense." In this
+volume he reverts once more to the familiar form adopted in his original
+efforts, and with little falling off. It is to be remarked that the third
+division is styled "Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures," although
+there is no more rhyme than reason in any of the set. Our favorite
+illustrations are those of the "Scroobious Snake who always wore a Hat on
+his Head, for fear he should bite anybody," and the "Visibly Vicious
+Vulture who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a Volume bound in
+Vellum." In the fourth and last of Mr. Lear's books, we meet not only with
+familiar words, but personages and places,--old friends like the Jumblies,
+the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, the Quangle Wangle, the hills of the Chankly Bore,
+and the great Gromboolian plain, as well as new creations, such as the Dong
+with a luminous Nose, whose story is a sort of nonsense version of the love
+of Nausicaa for Ulysses, only that the sexes are inverted. In these verses,
+graceful fancy is so subtly interwoven with nonsense as almost to beguile
+us into feeling a real interest in Mr. Lear's absurd creations. So again in
+the Pelican chorus there are some charming lines:--
+
+    "By day we fish, and at eve we stand
+    On long bare islands of yellow sand.
+    And when the sun sinks slowly down,
+    And the great rock-walls grow dark and brown,
+    When the purple river rolls fast and dim,
+    And the ivory Ibis starlike skim,
+    Wing to wing we dance around," etc.
+
+The other nonsense-poems are all good, but we have no space for further
+quotation, and will take leave of our subject by propounding the following
+set of examination questions which a friend who is deeply versed in Mr.
+Lear's books has drawn up for us:--
+
+  1. What do you gather from a study of Mr. Lear's works to
+     have been the prevalent characteristics of the inhabitants of
+     Gretna, Prague, Thermopylae, Wick, and Hong Kong?
+
+  2. State briefly what historical events are connected with
+     Ischia, Chertsey, Whitehaven, Boulak, and Jellibolee.
+
+  3. Comment, with illustrations, upon Mr. Lear's use of the
+     following words: Runcible, propitious, dolomphious, borascible,
+     fizzgiggious, himmeltanious, tumble-dum-down, spongetaneous.
+
+  4. Enumerate accurately all the animals who lived on the
+     Quangle Wangle's Hat, and explain how the Quangle Wangle
+     was enabled at once to enlighten his five travelling companions
+     as to the true nature of the Co-operative Cauliflower.
+
+  5. What were the names of the five daughters of the Old
+     Person of China, and what was the purpose for which the
+     Old Man of the Dargle purchased six barrels of Gargle?
+
+  6. Collect notices of King Xerxes in Mr. Lear's works, and
+     state your theory, if you have any, as to the character and
+     appearance of Nupiter Piffkin.
+
+  7. Draw pictures of the Plum-pudding flea, and the Moppsikon
+     Floppsikon Bear, and state by whom waterproof tubs
+     were first used.
+
+  8.         "There was an old man at a station
+               Who made a promiscuous oration."
+
+     What bearing may we assume the foregoing couplet to have
+     upon Mr. Lear's political views?
+                                   --_The London Spectator_.
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+A BOOK OF NONSENSE
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR.
+
+With All the Original Pictures and Verses
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+There was an Old Derry down Derry, who loved to see little folks
+  merry;
+    So he made them a Book, and with laughter they shook
+      At the fun of that Derry down Derry.
+
+
+
+                 Original Dedication.
+
+                       TO THE
+ GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES
+           OF EDWARD, 13TH EARL OF DERBY,
+          THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES
+
+     (The greater part of which were originally
+         made and composed for their parents.)
+
+               Is Dedicated by the Author,
+                                          EDWARD LEAR.
+
+       London, 1862.
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a nose,
+    Who said, "If you choose to suppose
+    That my nose is too long, you are certainly wrong!"
+    That remarkable Man with a nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Smyrna,
+    Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;
+    But she seized on the Cat, and said, "Granny, burn that!
+    You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on a hill,
+    Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
+    He ran up and down in his Grandmother's gown,
+    Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chili,
+    Whose conduct was painful and silly;
+    He sate on the stairs, eating apples and pears,
+    That imprudent Old Person of Chili.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a gong,
+    Who bumped at it all the day long;
+    But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
+    Who never had more than a penny;
+    He spent all that money in onions and honey,
+    That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Columbia,
+    Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;
+    But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot,
+    Which disgusted that man of Columbia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
+    When they said, "Does it buzz?" he replied, "Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,
+    Who made a remarkable curtsey;
+    She twirled round and round, till she sank underground,
+    Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose chin
+    Resembled the point of a pin;
+    So she had it made sharp, and purchased a harp,
+    And played several tunes with her chin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a flute,--
+    A "sarpint" ran into his boot!
+    But he played day and night, till the "sarpint" took flight,
+    And avoided that Man with a flute.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
+    Whose ideas were excessively nautical;
+    She climbed up a tree to examine the sea,
+    But declared she would never leave Portugal.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ischia,
+    Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;
+    He danced hornpipes and jigs, and ate thousands of figs,
+    That lively Old Person of Ischia
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vienna,
+    Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;
+    When that did not agree, he took Camomile Tea,
+    That nasty Old Man of Vienna.
+
+    [Illustraion]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a boat,
+    Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"
+    When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint,
+    That unhappy Old Man in a boat.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Buda,
+    Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,
+    Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.
+    By smashing that Person of Buda.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
+    Who had the most curious behavior;
+    For while he was able, he slept on a table,
+    That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Hurst,
+    Who drank when he was not athirst;
+    When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"
+    That globular Person of Hurst.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Madras,
+    Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;
+    But the length of its ears so promoted his fears,
+    That it killed that Old Man of Madras.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dover,
+    Who rushed through a field of blue clover;
+    But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees,
+    So he very soon went back to Dover.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Leeds,
+    Whose head was infested with beads;
+    She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool,
+    Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cadiz,
+    Who was always polite to all ladies;
+    But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water,
+    Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Isles,
+    Whose face was pervaded with smiles;
+    He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle,
+    That amiable Man of the Isles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Basing,
+    Whose presence of mind was amazing;
+    He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed,
+    And escaped from the people of Basing.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who supposed
+    That the street door was partially closed;
+    But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats,
+    While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person whose habits
+    Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;
+    When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green,
+    Upon which he relinquished those habits.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who wore a pale plum-colored vest;
+    When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!"
+    That uneasy Old Man of the West.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Marseilles,
+    Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils:
+    They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish,
+    And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,
+    Whose shoes made a horrible creaking;
+    But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather,
+    Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose nose
+    Was so long that it reached to her toes;
+    So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady,
+    To carry that wonderful nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?"
+    This courageous Young Lady of Norway.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Apulia,
+    Whose conduct was very peculiar;
+    He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns,
+    That whimsical Man of Apulia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Quebec,--
+    A beetle ran over his neck;
+    But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!"
+    That angry Old Man of Quebec.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Bute,
+    Who played on a silver-gilt flute;
+    She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs:
+    That amusing Young Lady of Bute.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Philoe,
+    Whose conduct was scroobious and wily;
+    He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm,
+    And observed all the ruins of Philoe.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a poker,
+    Who painted his face with red ochre.
+    When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply,
+    But knocked them all down with his poker.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Prague,
+    Who was suddenly seized with the plague;
+    But they gave him some butter, which caused him to mutter,
+    And cured that Old Person of Prague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru,
+    Who watched his wife making a stew;
+    But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake
+    That unfortunate Man of Peru.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the North,
+    Who fell into a basin of broth;
+    But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook,
+    Which saved that Old Man of the North.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Troy,
+    Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,
+    Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon,
+    In sight of the city of Troy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Mold,
+    Who shrank from sensations of cold;
+    So he purchased some muffs, some furs, and some fluffs,
+    And wrapped himself well from the cold.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tring,
+    Who embellished his nose with a ring;
+    He gazed at the moon every evening in June,
+    That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Nepaul,
+    From his horse had a terrible fall;
+    But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue
+    They mended that man of Nepaul.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Nile,
+    Who sharpened his nails with a file,
+    Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly, "This comes
+    Of sharpening one's nails with a file!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,
+    So blind that he couldn't his foot see;
+    When they said, "That's your toe," he replied, "Is it so?"
+    That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Calcutta,
+    Who perpetually ate bread and butter;
+    Till a great bit of muffin, on which he was stuffing,
+    Choked that horrid Old Man of Calcutta.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
+    Who strongly objected to toads;
+    He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens,
+    That futile Old Person of Rhodes.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the South,
+    Who had an immoderate mouth;
+    But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish,
+    He was choked, that Old Man of the South.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Melrose,
+    Who walked on the tips of his toes;
+    But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present,
+    You stupid Old Man of Melrose."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Dee,
+    Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;
+    When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
+    Whose lovers completely forsook her;
+    She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"
+    Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Coblenz,
+    The length of whose legs was immense;
+    He went with one prance from Turkey to France,
+    That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
+    Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;
+    But one day, to his grief, she married a thief,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Corfu,
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown,
+    That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,
+    Who studied the works of Vitruvius;
+    When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took,
+    That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Dundee,
+    Who frequented the top of a tree;
+    When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose,
+    And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady whose folly
+    Induced her to sit in a holly;
+    Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn,
+    She quickly became melancholy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on some rocks,
+    Who shut his Wife up in a box:
+    When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt
+    You will pass all your life in that box."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rheims,
+    Who was troubled with horrible dreams;
+    So to keep him awake they fed him with cake,
+    Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
+    The smallest that ever was born;
+    But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy,
+    Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a pew,
+    Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;
+    But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces,
+    That cheerful Old Man in a pew.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
+    Who suddenly married a Quaker;
+    But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"
+    Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "How
+    Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
+    I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile,
+    Which may soften the heart of that Cow."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Troy,
+    Whom several large flies did annoy;
+    Some she killed with a thump, some she drowned at the pump,
+    And some she took with her to Troy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Hull,
+    Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
+    But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?"
+    Which distracted that virulent Bull.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dutton,
+    Whose head was as small as a button;
+    So to make it look big he purchased a wig,
+    And rapidly rushed about Dutton.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
+    I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
+    When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all;
+    It is four times as big as the bush!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Russia,
+    Who screamed so that no one could hush her;
+    Her screams were extreme,--no one heard such a scream
+    As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
+    Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
+    At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep,
+    And enchanted the city of Tyre.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Bangor,
+    Whose face was distorted with anger;
+    He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,
+    That borascible Person of Bangor.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the East,
+    Who gave all his children a feast;
+    But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,
+    That it killed that Old Man of the East.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Coast,
+    Who placidly sat on a post;
+    But when it was cold he relinquished his hold,
+    And called for some hot buttered toast.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
+    Who possessed a remarkably fat Cur;
+    His gait and his waddle were held as a model
+    To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Gretna,
+    Who rushed down the crater of Etna;
+    When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!"
+    That mendacious Old Person of Gretna.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who sat on a Horse when he reared;
+    But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,
+    You propitious Old Man with a beard!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Berlin,
+    Whose form was uncommonly thin;
+    Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,
+    So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who never could get any rest;
+    So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,
+    Which cured that Old Man of the West.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cheadle
+    Was put in the stocks by the Beadle
+    For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,
+    That horrible person of Cheadle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Anerley,
+    Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;
+    He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,
+    But returned in the evening to Anerley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Wales,
+    Who caught a large Fish without scales;
+    When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!"
+    That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Welling,
+    Whose praise all the world was a-telling;
+    She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,
+    That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tartary,
+    Who divided his jugular artery;
+    But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life!
+    Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
+    Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;
+    But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chester,
+    Whom several small children did pester;
+    They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,
+    And displeased that Old Person of Chester.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Cape,
+    Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;
+    Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,
+    Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Burton,
+    Whose answers were rather uncertain;
+    When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?"
+    That distressing Old Person of Burton.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ems
+    Who casually fell in the Thames;
+    And when he was found, they said he was drowned,
+    That unlucky Old Person of Ems.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
+    Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;
+    She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,
+    Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Poole,
+    Whose soup was excessively cool;
+    So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,
+    That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Prague,
+    Whose language was horribly vague;
+    When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!"
+    That oracular Lady of Prague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Parma,
+    Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:
+    When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!"
+    That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Sparta,
+    Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"
+    He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,
+    That wonderful Person of Sparta.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on whose nose
+    Most birds of the air could repose;
+    But they all flew away at the closing of day,
+    Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
+    Who wept when the weather was murky;
+    When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,
+    That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Aôsta
+    Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;
+    But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,
+    You invidious Old Man of Aôsta?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Crete,
+    Whose toilette was far from complete;
+    She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,
+    That ombliferous Person of Crete.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Clare,
+    Who was madly pursued by a Bear;
+    When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,
+    That unfortunate Lady of Clare.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
+    Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
+    But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,
+    That she very soon went back to Dorking.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
+    Who wished he had never been born;
+    So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,
+    That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Person of Cromer,
+    Who stood on one leg to read Homer;
+    When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,
+    Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Hague,
+    Whose ideas were excessively vague;
+    He built a balloon to examine the moon,
+    That deluded Old Man of the Hague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Spain,
+    Who hated all trouble and pain;
+    So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,
+    That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Well!
+    Will _nobody_ answer this bell?
+    I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white,
+    But nobody answers this bell!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with an Owl,
+    Who continued to bother and howl;
+    He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,
+    Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a casement,
+    Who held up his hands in amazement;
+    When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" he replied, "Not at all!"
+    That incipient Old Man in a casement.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ewell,
+    Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
+    But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,
+    Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru.
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,
+    That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, "It is just as I feared!--
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose eyes
+    Were unique as to color and size;
+    When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,
+    And started away in surprise.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
+    Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
+    She purchased some clogs, and some small spotty Dogs,
+    And frequently walked about Ryde.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose bonnet
+    Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
+    But she said, "I don't care! all the birds in the air
+    Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+NONSENSE SONGS
+
+Stories, Botany, and Alphabets
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR.
+
+With One Hundred and Fifty Illustrations
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+    NONSENSE SONGS.
+        THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT
+        THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO
+        THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY
+        THE JUMBLIES
+        THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS
+        CALICO PIE
+        MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW
+        THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS THE TABLE AND THE
+        CHAIR
+
+    NONSENSE STORIES.
+        THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD
+        THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE
+
+    NONSENSE COOKERY
+
+    NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+    NONSENSE ALPHABET, No. 1
+      "  "  No. 2
+      "  "  No. 3
+
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE SONGS.
+
+
+THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea
+      In a beautiful pea-green boat:
+    They took some honey, and plenty of money
+      Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
+    The Owl looked up to the stars above,
+      And sang to a small guitar,
+   "O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,
+        What a beautiful Pussy you are,
+          You are,
+          You are!
+      What a beautiful Pussy you are!"
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,
+      How charmingly sweet you sing!
+    Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried:
+      But what shall we do for a ring?"
+    They sailed away, for a year and a day,
+      To the land where the bong-tree grows;
+    And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,
+      With a ring at the end of his nose,
+          His nose,
+          His nose,
+      With a ring at the end of his nose.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    "Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
+      Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."
+    So they took it away, and were married next day
+      By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
+    They dined on mince and slices of quince,
+      Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
+    And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
+      They danced by the light of the moon,
+          The moon,
+          The moon,
+    They danced by the light of the moon.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    Said the Duck to the Kangaroo,
+       "Good gracious! how you hop
+    Over the fields, and the water too,
+        As if you never would stop!
+    My life is a bore in this nasty pond;
+    And I long to go out in the world beyond:
+        I wish I could hop like you,"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+   "Please give me a ride on your back,"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo:
+   "I would sit quite still, and say nothing but 'Quack'
+        The whole of the long day through;
+    And we 'd go the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee,
+    Over the land, and over the sea:
+        Please take me a ride! oh, do!"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    Said the Kangaroo to the Duck,
+       "This requires some little reflection.
+    Perhaps, on the whole, it might bring me luck;
+        And there seems but one objection;
+    Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold,
+    Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold,
+        And would probably give me the roo-
+        Matiz," said the Kangaroo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    Said the Duck, "As I sate on the rocks,
+        I have thought over that completely;
+    And I bought four pairs of worsted socks,
+        Which fit my web-feet neatly;
+    And, to keep out the cold, I've bought a cloak;
+    And every day a cigar I'll smoke;
+        All to follow my own dear true
+        Love of a Kangaroo."
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Said the Kangaroo, "I'm ready,
+        All in the moonlight pale;
+    But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady,
+        And quite at the end of my tail."
+    So away they went with a hop and a bound;
+    And they hopped the whole world three times round.
+        And who so happy, oh! who,
+        As the Duck and the Kangaroo?
+
+             [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    Once Mr. Daddy Long-legs,
+        Dressed in brown and gray,
+    Walked about upon the sands
+        Upon a summer's day:
+    And there among the pebbles,
+        When the wind was rather cold,
+    He met with Mr. Floppy Fly,
+        All dressed in blue and gold;
+    And, as it was too soon to dine,
+    They drank some periwinkle-wine,
+    And played an hour or two, or more,
+    At battlecock and shuttledore.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        To Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "Why do you never come to court?
+        I wish you 'd tell me why.
+    All gold and shine, in dress so fine,
+        You'd quite delight the court.
+    Why do you never go at all?
+        I really think you _ought_.
+    And, if you went, you'd see such sights!
+    Such rugs and jugs and candle-lights!
+    And, more than all, the king and queen,--
+    One in red, and one in green."
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    "O Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"
+        Said Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "It's true I never go to court;
+        And I will tell you why.
+    If I had six long legs like yours,
+        At once I'd go to court;
+    But, oh! I can't, because _my_ legs
+        Are so extremely short.
+    And I'm afraid the king and queen
+    (One in red, and one in green)
+    Would say aloud, 'You are not fit,
+    You Fly, to come to court a bit!'"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    "Oh, Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"
+        Said Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "I wish you 'd sing one little song,
+        One mumbian melody.
+    You used to sing so awful well
+        In former days gone by;
+    But now you never sing at all:
+        I wish you'd tell me why:
+    For, if you would, the silvery sound
+    Would please the shrimps and cockles round,
+    And all the crabs would gladly come
+    To hear you sing, 'Ah, Hum di Hum!'"
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs,
+       "I can never sing again;
+    And, if you wish, I'll tell you why,
+        Although it gives me pain.
+    For years I cannot hum a bit,
+        Or sing the smallest song;
+    And this the dreadful reason is,--
+        My legs are grown too long!
+    My six long legs, all here and there,
+    Oppress my bosom with despair;
+    And, if I stand or lie or sit,
+    I cannot sing one single bit!"
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+    So Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        And Mr. Floppy Fly
+    Sat down in silence by the sea,
+        And gazed upon the sky.
+    They said, "This is a dreadful thing!
+        The world has all gone wrong,
+    Since one has legs too short by half,
+        The other much too long.
+    One never more can go to court,
+    Because his legs have grown too short;
+    The other cannot sing a song,
+    Because his legs have grown too long!"
+
+
+                    VII.
+
+    Then Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        And Mr. Floppy Fly
+    Rushed downward to the foamy sea
+        With one sponge-taneous cry:
+    And there they found a little boat,
+        Whose sails were pink and gray;
+    And off they sailed among the waves,
+        Far and far away:
+    They sailed across the silent main,
+    And reached the great Gromboolian Plain;
+    And there they play forevermore
+    At battlecock and shuttledore.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE JUMBLIES.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    They went to sea in a sieve, they did;
+        In a sieve they went to sea:
+    In spite of all their friends could say,
+    On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
+        In a sieve they went to sea.
+    And when the sieve turned round and round,
+    And every one cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
+    They called aloud, "Our sieve ain't big;
+    But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig:
+        In a sieve we'll go to sea!"
+             Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+             Their heads are green, and their hands are blue
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    They sailed away in a sieve, they did,
+        In a sieve they sailed so fast,
+    With only a beautiful pea-green veil
+    Tied with a ribbon, by way of a sail,
+        To a small tobacco-pipe mast.
+    And every one said who saw them go,
+   "Oh! won't they be soon upset, you know?
+    For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long;
+    And, happen what may, it's extremely wrong
+        In a sieve to sail so fast."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    The water it soon came in, it did;
+        The water it soon came in:
+    So, to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
+        In a pinky paper all folded neat;
+    And they fastened it down with a pin.
+    And they passed the night in a crockery-jar;
+    And each of them said, "How wise we are!
+    Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,
+    Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,
+        While round in our sieve we spin."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    And all night long they sailed away;
+        And when the sun went down,
+    They whistled and warbled a moony song
+        To the echoing sound of a coppery gong,
+    In the shade of the mountains brown.
+   "O Timballoo! How happy we are
+    When we live in a sieve and a crockery-jar!
+    And all night long, in the moonlight pale,
+    We sail away with a pea-green sail
+        In the shade of the mountains brown."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,--
+        To a land all covered with trees:
+    And they bought an owl, and a useful cart,
+        And a pound of rice, and a cranberry-tart,
+    And a hive of silvery bees;
+    And they bought a pig, and some green jackdaws,
+    And a lovely monkey with lollipop paws,
+    And forty bottles of ring-bo-ree,
+        And no end of Stilton cheese.
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    And in twenty years they all came back,--
+        In twenty years or more;
+    And every one said, "How tall they've grown!
+        For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
+    And the hills of the Chankly Bore."
+    And they drank their health, and gave them a feast
+    Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast;
+    And every one said, "If we only live,
+    We, too, will go to sea in a sieve,
+        To the hills of the Chankly Bore."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+
+
+THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    The Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table;
+        The Sugar-tongs sate by a plate at his side;
+    And the Nutcrackers said, "Don't you wish we were able
+        Along the blue hills and green meadows to ride?
+    Must we drag on this stupid existence forever,
+        So idle and weary, so full of remorse,
+    While every one else takes his pleasure, and never
+        Seems happy unless he is riding a horse?
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    "Don't you think we could ride without being instructed,
+        Without any saddle or bridle or spur?
+    Our legs are so long, and so aptly constructed,
+        I'm sure that an accident could not occur.
+    Let us all of a sudden hop down from the table,
+        And hustle downstairs, and each jump on a horse!
+    Shall we try? Shall we go? Do you think we are able?"
+        The Sugar-tongs answered distinctly, "Of course!"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    So down the long staircase they hopped in a minute;
+        The Sugar-tongs snapped, and the Crackers said "Crack!"
+    The stable was open; the horses were in it:
+        Each took out a pony, and jumped on his back.
+    The Cat in a fright scrambled out of the doorway;
+        The Mice tumbled out of a bundle of hay;
+    The brown and white Rats, and the black ones from Norway,
+        Screamed out, "They are taking the horses away!"
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    The whole of the household was filled with amazement:
+        The Cups and the Saucers danced madly about;
+    The Plates and the Dishes looked out of the casement;
+        The Salt-cellar stood on his head with a shout;
+    The Spoons, with a clatter, looked out of the lattice;
+        The Mustard-pot climbed up the gooseberry-pies;
+    The Soup-ladle peeped through a heap of veal-patties,
+        And squeaked with a ladle-like scream of surprise.
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    The Frying-pan said, "It's an awful delusion!"
+        The Tea-kettle hissed, and grew black in the face;
+    And they all rushed downstairs in the wildest confusion
+        To see the great Nutcracker-Sugar-tong race.
+    And out of the stable, with screamings and laughter
+        (Their ponies were cream-colored, speckled with brown),
+    The Nutcrackers first, and the Sugar-tongs after;
+        Rode all round the yard, and then all round the town.
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    They rode through the street, and they rode by the station;
+        They galloped away to the beautiful shore;
+    In silence they rode, and "made no observation,"
+        Save this: "We will never go back any more!"
+    And still you might hear, till they rode out of hearing,
+        The Sugar-tongs snap, and the Crackers say "Crack!"
+    Till, far in the distance their forms disappearing,
+        They faded away; and they never came back!
+
+
+
+
+CALICO PIE.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+      Calico pie,
+      The little birds fly
+    Down to the calico-tree:
+      Their wings were blue,
+      And they sang "Tilly-loo!"
+      Till away they flew;
+        And they never came back to me!
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back,
+        They never came back to me!
+
+
+                     II.
+
+      Calico jam,
+      The little Fish swam
+    Over the Syllabub Sea.
+      He took off his hat
+      To the Sole and the Sprat,
+      And the Willeby-wat:
+        But he never came back to me;
+          He never came back,
+          He never came back,
+        He never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+                     III.
+
+      Calico ban,
+      The little Mice ran
+    To be ready in time for tea;
+      Flippity flup,
+      They drank it all up,
+      And danced in the cup:
+        But they never came back to me;
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back,
+        They never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+      Calico drum,
+      The Grasshoppers come,
+    The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee,
+      Over the ground,
+      Around and round,
+      With a hop and a bound;
+        But they never came back,
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back.
+        They never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    On a little piece of wood
+    Mr. Spikky Sparrow stood:
+    Mrs. Sparrow sate close by,
+    A-making of an insect-pie
+    For her little children five,
+    In the nest and all alive;
+    Singing with a cheerful smile,
+    To amuse them all the while,
+       "Twikky wikky wikky wee,
+        Wikky bikky twikky tee,
+            Spikky bikky bee!"
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    Mrs. Spikky Sparrow said,
+    "Spikky, darling! in my head
+    Many thoughts of trouble come,
+    Like to flies upon a plum.
+    All last night, among the trees,
+    I heard you cough, I heard you sneeze;
+    And thought I, 'It's come to that
+    Because he does not wear a hat!'
+        Chippy wippy sikky tee,
+        Bikky wikky tikky mee,
+            Spikky chippy wee!
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    "Not that you are growing old;
+    But the nights are growing cold.
+    No one stays out all night long
+    Without a hat: I'm sure it's wrong!"
+    Mr. Spikky said, "How kind,
+    Dear, you are, to speak your mind!
+    All your life I wish you luck!
+    You are, you are, a lovely duck!
+        Witchy witchy witchy wee,
+        Twitchy witchy witchy bee,
+            Tikky tikky tee!
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    "I was also sad, and thinking,
+    When one day I saw you winking,
+    And I heard you sniffle-snuffle,
+    And I saw your feathers ruffle:
+    To myself I sadly said,
+    'She's neuralgia in her head!
+    That dear head has nothing on it!
+    Ought she not to wear a bonnet?'
+        Witchy kitchy kitchy wee,
+        Spikky wikky mikky bee,
+            Chippy wippy chee!
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    "Let us both fly up to town:
+    There I'll buy you such a gown!
+    Which, completely in the fashion,
+    You shall tie a sky-blue sash on;
+    And a pair of slippers neat
+    To fit your darling little feet,
+    So that you will look and feel
+    Quite galloobious and genteel.
+        Jikky wikky bikky see,
+        Chicky bikky wikky bee,
+            Twicky witchy wee!"
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    So they both to London went,
+    Alighting on the Monument;
+    Whence they flew down swiftly--pop!
+    Into Moses' wholesale shop:
+    There they bought a hat and bonnet,
+    And a gown with spots upon it,
+    A satin sash of Cloxam blue,
+    And a pair of slippers too.
+        Zikky wikky mikky bee,
+        Witchy witchy mitchy kee,
+            Sikky tikky wee!
+
+
+                     VII.
+
+    Then, when so completely dressed,
+    Back they flew, and reached their nest.
+    Their children cried, "O ma and pa!
+    How truly beautiful you are!"
+    Said they, "We trust that cold or pain
+    We shall never feel again;
+    While, perched on tree or house or steeple,
+    We now shall look like other people.
+        Witchy witchy witchy wee,
+        Twikky mikky bikky bee,
+            Zikky sikky tee!"
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,
+      They all took a drive in the Park;
+    And they each sang a song, ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+      Before they went back in the dark.
+    Mr. Poker he sate quite upright in the coach;
+      Mr. Tongs made a clatter and clash;
+    Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch);
+      Mrs. Broom was in blue (with a sash).
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        And they all sang a song.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+   "O Shovely so lovely!" the Poker he sang,
+     "You have perfectly conquered my heart.
+    Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong! If you're pleased with my song,
+      I will feed you with cold apple-tart.
+    When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound,
+      You enrapture my life with delight,
+    Your nose is so shiny, your head is so round,
+      And your shape is so slender and bright!
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        Ain't you pleased with my song?"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+   "Alas! Mrs. Broom," sighed the Tongs in his song,
+     "Oh! is it because I'm so thin,
+    And my legs are so long,--ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!--
+      That you don't care about me a pin?
+    Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room,
+      Ah! why don't you heed my complaint?
+    Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom,
+      Because you are covered with paint?
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        You are certainly wrong."
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    Mrs. Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang,
+     "What nonsense you're singing to-day!"
+    Said the Shovel, "I'll certainly hit you a bang!"
+      Said the Broom, "And I'll sweep you away!"
+    So the coachman drove homeward as fast as he could,
+      Perceiving their anger with pain;
+    But they put on the kettle, and little by little
+      They all became happy again.
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        There's an end of my song.
+
+
+
+
+THE TABLE AND THE CHAIR.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    Said the Table to the Chair,
+    "You can hardly be aware
+    How I suffer from the heat
+    And from chilblains on my feet.
+    If we took a little walk,
+    We might have a little talk;
+    Pray let us take the air,"
+    Said the Table to the Chair.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    Said the Chair unto the Table,
+    "Now, you _know_ we are not able:
+    How foolishly you talk,
+    When you know we _cannot_ walk!"
+    Said the Table with a sigh,
+    "It can do no harm to try.
+    I've as many legs as you:
+    Why can't we walk on two?"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    So they both went slowly down,
+    And walked about the town
+    With a cheerful bumpy sound
+    As they toddled round and round;
+    And everybody cried,
+    As they hastened to their side,
+    "See! the Table and the Chair
+    Have come out to take the air!"
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    But in going down an alley,
+    To a castle in a valley,
+    They completely lost their way,
+    And wandered all the day;
+    Till, to see them safely back,
+    They paid a Ducky-quack,
+    And a Beetle, and a Mouse,
+    Who took them to their house.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    Then they whispered to each other,
+    "O delightful little brother,
+    What a lovely walk we've taken!
+    Let us dine on beans and bacon."
+    So the Ducky and the leetle
+    Browny-Mousy and the Beetle
+    Dined, and danced upon their heads
+    Till they toddled to their beds.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE STORIES.
+
+
+THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD.
+
+Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little people whose
+names were
+
+[Illustration]
+
+VIOLET, SLINGSBY, GUY, and LIONEL;
+and they all thought they should like to see the world. So they bought a
+large boat to sail quite round the world by sea, and then they were to come
+back on the other side by land. The boat was painted blue with green spots,
+and the sail was yellow with red stripes: and, when they set off, they only
+took a small Cat to steer and look after the boat, besides an elderly
+Quangle-Wangle, who had to cook the dinner and make the tea; for which
+purposes they took a large kettle.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+For the first ten days they sailed on beautifully, and found plenty to eat,
+as there were lots of fish; and they had only to take them out of the sea
+with a long spoon, when the Quangle-Wangle instantly cooked them; and the
+Pussy-Cat was fed with the bones, with which she expressed herself pleased,
+on the whole: so that all the party were very happy.
+
+During the daytime, Violet chiefly occupied herself in putting salt water
+into a churn; while her three brothers churned it violently, in the hope
+that it would turn into butter, which it seldom if ever did; and in the
+evening they all retired into the tea-kettle, where they all managed to
+sleep very comfortably, while Pussy and the Quangle-Wangle managed the
+boat.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After a time, they saw some land at a distance; and, when they came to it,
+they found it was an island made of water quite surrounded by earth.
+Besides that, it was bordered by evanescent isthmuses, with a great
+gulf-stream running about all over it; so that it was perfectly beautiful,
+and contained only a single tree, 503 feet high.
+
+When they had landed, they walked about, but found, to their great
+surprise, that the island was quite full of veal-cutlets and
+chocolate-drops, and nothing else. So they all climbed up the single high
+tree to discover, if possible, if there were any people; but having
+remained on the top of the tree for a week, and not seeing anybody, they
+naturally concluded that there were no inhabitants; and accordingly, when
+they came down, they loaded the boat with two thousand veal-cutlets and a
+million of chocolate-drops; and these afforded them sustenance for more
+than a month, during which time they pursued their voyage with the utmost
+delight and apathy.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After this they came to a shore where there were no less than sixty-five
+great red parrots with blue tails, sitting on a rail all of a row, and all
+fast asleep. And I am sorry to say that the Pussy-Cat and the
+Quangle-Wangle crept softly, and bit off the tail-feathers of all the
+sixty-five parrots; for which Violet reproved them both severely.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Notwithstanding which, she proceeded to insert all the feathers--two
+hundred and sixty in number--in her bonnet; thereby causing it to have a
+lovely and glittering appearance, highly prepossessing and efficacious.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The next thing that happened to them was in a narrow part of the sea, which
+was so entirely full of fishes that the boat could go on no farther: so
+they remained there about six weeks, till they had eaten nearly all the
+fishes, which were soles, and all ready-cooked, and covered with
+shrimp-sauce, so that there was no trouble whatever. And as the few fishes
+who remained uneaten complained of the cold, as well as of the difficulty
+they had in getting any sleep on account of the extreme noise made by the
+arctic bears and the tropical turnspits, which frequented the neighborhood
+in great numbers, Violet most amiably knitted a small woollen frock for
+several of the fishes, and Slingsby administered some opium-drops to them;
+through which kindness they became quite warm, and slept soundly.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Then they came to a country which was wholly covered with immense
+orange-trees of a vast size, and quite full of fruit. So they all landed,
+taking with them the tea-kettle, intending to gather some of the oranges,
+and place them in it. But, while they were busy about this, a most
+dreadfully high wind rose, and blew out most of the parrot-tail feathers
+from Violet's bonnet. That, however, was nothing compared with the calamity
+of the oranges falling down on their heads by millions and millions, which
+thumped and bumped and bumped and thumped them all so seriously, that they
+were obliged to run as hard as they could for their lives; besides that the
+sound of the oranges rattling on the tea-kettle was of the most fearful and
+amazing nature.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Nevertheless, they got safely to the boat, although considerably vexed and
+hurt; and the Quangle-Wangle's right foot was so knocked about, that he had
+to sit with his head in his slipper for at least a week.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+This event made them all for a time rather melancholy: and perhaps they
+might never have become less so, had not Lionel, with a most praiseworthy
+devotion and perseverance, continued to stand on one leg, and whistle to
+them in a loud and lively manner; which diverted the whole party so
+extremely that they gradually recovered their spirits, and agreed that
+whenever they should reach home, they would subscribe towards a testimonial
+to Lionel, entirely made of gingerbread and raspberries, as an earnest
+token of their sincere and grateful infection.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After sailing on calmly for several more days, they came to another
+country, where they were much pleased and surprised to see a countless
+multitude of white Mice with red eyes, all sitting in a great circle,
+slowly eating custard-pudding with the most satisfactory and polite
+demeanor.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And as the four travellers were rather hungry, being tired of eating
+nothing but soles and oranges for so long a period, they held a council as
+to the propriety of asking the Mice for some of their pudding in a humble
+and affecting manner, by which they could hardly be otherwise than
+gratified. It was agreed, therefore, that Guy should go and ask the Mice,
+which he immediately did; and the result was, that they gave a walnut-shell
+only half full of custard diluted with water. Now, this displeased Guy, who
+said, "Out of such a lot of pudding as you have got, I must say, you might
+have spared a somewhat larger quantity." But no sooner had he finished
+speaking than the Mice turned round at once, and sneezed at him in an
+appalling and vindictive manner (and it is impossible to imagine a more
+scroobious and unpleasant sound than that caused by the simultaneous
+sneezing of many millions of angry Mice); so that Guy rushed back to the
+boat, having first shied his cap into the middle of the custard-pudding, by
+which means he completely spoiled the Mice's dinner.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+By and by the four children came to a country where there were no houses,
+but only an incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks,
+and of a dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue
+bottles contained a Blue-Bottle-Fly; and all these interesting animals live
+continually together in the most copious and rural harmony: nor perhaps in
+many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found.
+Violet and Slingsby and Guy and Lionel were greatly struck with this
+singular and instructive settlement; and, having previously asked
+permission of the Blue-Bottle-Flies (which was most courteously granted),
+the boat was drawn up to the shore, and they proceeded to make tea in front
+of the bottles: but as they had no tea-leaves, they merely placed some
+pebbles in the hot water; and the Quangle-Wangle played some tunes over it
+on an accordion, by which, of course, tea was made directly, and of the
+very best quality.
+
+The four children then entered into conversation with the
+Blue-Bottle-Flies, who discoursed in a placid and genteel manner, though
+with a slightly buzzing accent, chiefly owing to the fact that they each
+held a small clothes-brush between their teeth, which naturally occasioned
+a fizzy, extraneous utterance.
+
+"Why," said Violet, "would you kindly inform us, do you reside in bottles;
+and, if in bottles at all, why not, rather, in green or purple, or, indeed,
+in yellow bottles?"
+
+To which questions a very aged Blue-Bottle-Fly answered, "We found the
+bottles here all ready to live in; that is to say, our great-great-great-
+great-great-grandfathers did: so we occupied them at once. And, when the
+winter comes on, we turn the bottles upside down, and consequently rarely
+feel the cold at all; and you know very well that this could not be the
+case with bottles of any other color than blue."
+
+"Of course it could not," said Slingsby. "But, if we may take the liberty
+of inquiring, on what do you chiefly subsist?"
+
+"Mainly on oyster-patties," said the Blue-Bottle-Fly; "and, when these are
+scarce, on raspberry vinegar and Russian leather boiled down to a jelly."
+
+"How delicious!" said Guy.
+
+To which Lionel added, "Huzz!" And all the Blue-Bottle-Flies said, "Buzz!"
+
+At this time, an elderly Fly said it was the hour for the evening-song to
+be sung; and, on a signal being given, all the Blue-Bottle-Flies began to
+buzz at once in a sumptuous and sonorous manner, the melodious and
+mucilaginous sounds echoing all over the waters, and resounding across the
+tumultuous tops of the transitory titmice upon the intervening and verdant
+mountains with a serene and sickly suavity only known to the truly
+virtuous. The Moon was shining slobaciously from the star-bespangled sky,
+while her light irrigated the smooth and shiny sides and wings and backs of
+the Blue-Bottle-Flies with a peculiar and trivial splendor, while all
+Nature cheerfully responded to the cerulean and conspicuous circumstances.
+
+In many long-after years, the four little travellers looked back to that
+evening as one of the happiest in all their lives; and it was already past
+midnight when--the sail of the boat having been set up by the
+Quangle-Wangle, the tea-kettle and churn placed in their respective
+positions, and the Pussy-Cat stationed at the helm--the children each took
+a last and affectionate farewell of the Blue-Bottle-Flies, who walked down
+in a body to the water's edge to see the travellers embark.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+As a token of parting respect and esteem, Violet made a courtesy quite down
+to the ground, and stuck one of her few remaining parrot-tail feathers into
+the back hair of the most pleasing of the Blue-Bottle-Flies; while
+Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel offered them three small boxes, containing,
+respectively, black pins, dried figs, and Epsom salts; and thus they left
+that happy shore forever.
+
+Overcome by their feelings, the four little travellers instantly jumped
+into the tea-kettle, and fell fast asleep. But all along the shore, for
+many hours, there was distinctly heard a sound of severely-suppressed sobs,
+and of a vague multitude of living creatures using their
+pocket-handkerchiefs in a subdued simultaneous snuffle, lingering sadly
+along the walloping waves as the boat sailed farther and farther away from
+the Land of the Happy Blue-Bottle-Flies.
+
+Nothing particular occurred for some days after these events, except that,
+as the travellers were passing a low tract of sand, they perceived an
+unusual and gratifying spectacle; namely, a large number of Crabs and
+Crawfish--perhaps six or seven hundred--sitting by the water-side, and
+endeavoring to disentangle a vast heap of pale pink worsted, which they
+moistened at intervals with a fluid composed of lavender-water and
+white-wine negus.
+
+"Can we be of any service to you, O crusty Crabbies?" said the four
+children.
+
+"Thank you kindly," said the Crabs consecutively. "We are trying to make
+some worsted mittens, but do not know how."
+
+On which Violet, who was perfectly acquainted with the art of
+mitten-making, said to the Crabs, "Do your claws unscrew, or are they
+fixtures?"
+
+"They are all made to unscrew," said the Crabs; and forthwith they
+deposited a great pile of claws close to the boat, with which Violet
+uncombed all the pale pink worsted, and then made the loveliest mittens
+with it you can imagine. These the Crabs, having resumed and screwed on
+their claws, placed cheerfully upon their wrists, and walked away rapidly
+on their hind-legs, warbling songs with a silvery voice and in a minor key.
+
+After this, the four little people sailed on again till they came to a vast
+and wide plain of astonishing dimensions, on which nothing whatever could
+be discovered at first; but, as the travellers walked onward, there
+appeared in the extreme and dim distance a single object, which on a nearer
+approach, and on an accurately cutaneous inspection, seemed to be somebody
+in a large white wig, sitting on an arm-chair made of sponge-cakes and
+oyster-shells. "It does not quite look like a human being," said Violet
+doubtfully; nor could they make out what it really was, till the
+Quangle-Wangle (who had previously been round the world) exclaimed softly
+in a loud voice, "It is the co-operative Cauliflower!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And so, in truth, it was: and they soon found that what they had taken for
+an immense wig was in reality the top of the Cauliflower; and that he had
+no feet at all, being able to walk tolerably well with a fluctuating and
+graceful movement on a single cabbage-stalk,--an accomplishment which
+naturally saved him the expense of stockings and shoes.
+
+Presently, while the whole party from the boat was gazing at him with
+mingled affection and disgust, he suddenly arose, and, in a somewhat
+plumdomphious manner, hurried off towards the setting sun,--his steps
+supported by two superincumbent confidential Cucumbers, and a large number
+of Waterwagtails proceeding in advance of him by three and three in a
+row,--till he finally disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a
+crystal cloud of sudorific sand.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+So remarkable a sight, of course, impressed the four children very deeply;
+and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong sense of
+undeveloped asthma and a great appetite.
+
+Shortly after this, the travellers were obliged to sail directly below some
+high overhanging rocks, from the top of one of which a particularly odious
+little boy, dressed in rose-colored knickerbockers, and with a pewter plate
+upon his head, threw an enormous pumpkin at the boat, by which it was
+instantly upset.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+But this upsetting was of no consequence, because all the party knew how to
+swim very well: and, in fact, they preferred swimming about till after the
+moon rose; when, the water growing chilly, they sponge-taneously entered
+the boat. Meanwhile the Quangle-Wangle threw back the pumpkin with immense
+force, so that it hit the rocks where the malicious little boy in
+rose-colored knickerbockers was sitting; when, being quite full of
+lucifer-matches, the pumpkin exploded surreptitiously into a thousand bits;
+whereon the rocks instantly took fire, and the odious little boy became
+unpleasantly hotter and hotter and hotter, till his knickerbockers were
+turned quite green, and his nose was burnt off.
+
+Two or three days after this had happened, they came to another place,
+where they found nothing at all except some wide and deep pits full of
+mulberry-jam. This is the property of the tiny, yellow-nosed Apes who
+abound in these districts, and who store up the mulberry-jam for their food
+in winter, when they mix it with pellucid pale periwinkle-soup, and serve
+it out in wedgewood china-bowls, which grow freely all over that part of
+the country. Only one of the yellow-nosed Apes was on the spot, and he was
+fast asleep; yet the four travellers and the Quangle-Wangle and Pussy were
+so terrified by the violence and sanguinary sound of his snoring, that they
+merely took a small cupful of the jam, and returned to re-embark in their
+boat without delay.
+
+What was their horror on seeing the boat (including the churn and the
+tea-kettle) in the mouth of an enormous Seeze Pyder, an aquatic and
+ferocious creature truly dreadful to behold, and, happily, only met with in
+those excessive longitudes! In a moment, the beautiful boat was bitten into
+fifty-five thousand million hundred billion bits; and it instantly became
+quite clear that Violet, Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel could no longer
+preliminate their voyage by sea.
+
+The four travellers were therefore obliged to resolve on pursuing their
+wanderings by land: and, very fortunately, there happened to pass by at
+that moment an elderly Rhinoceros, on which they seized; and, all four
+mounting on his back,--the Quangle-Wangle sitting on his horn, and holding
+on by his ears, and the Pussy-Cat swinging at the end of his tail,--they
+set off, having only four small beans and three pounds of mashed potatoes
+to last through their whole journey.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+They were, however, able to catch numbers of the chickens and turkeys and
+other birds who incessantly alighted on the head of the Rhinoceros for the
+purpose of gathering the seeds of the rhododendron-plants which grew
+there; and these creatures they cooked in the most translucent and
+satisfactory manner by means of a fire lighted on the end of the
+Rhinoceros's back. A crowd of Kangaroos and gigantic Cranes accompanied
+them, from feelings of curiosity and complacency; so that they were never
+at a loss for company, and went onward, as it were, in a sort of profuse
+and triumphant procession.
+
+Thus in less than eighteen weeks they all arrived safely at home, where
+they were received by their admiring relatives with joy tempered with
+contempt, and where they finally resolved to carry out the rest of their
+travelling-plans at some more favorable opportunity.
+
+As for the Rhinoceros, in token of their grateful adherence, they had him
+killed and stuffed directly, and then set him up outside the door of their
+father's house as a diaphanous doorscraper.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF
+THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE.
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+
+In former days,--that is to say, once upon a time,--there lived in the Land
+of Gramble-Blamble seven families. They lived by the side of the great Lake
+Pipple-Popple (one of the seven families, indeed, lived _in_ the lake), and
+on the outskirts of the city of Tosh, which, excepting when it was quite
+dark, they could see plainly. The names of all these places you have
+probably heard of; and you have only not to look in your geography-books to
+find out all about them.
+
+Now, the seven families who lived on the borders of the great Lake
+Pipple-Popple were as follows in the next chapter.
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+THE SEVEN FAMILIES.
+
+There was a family of two old Parrots and seven young Parrots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Storks and seven young Storks.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Geese and seven young Geese.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Owls and seven young Owls.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Guinea Pigs and seven young Guinea Pigs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Cats and seven young Cats.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And there was a family of two old Fishes and seven young Fishes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+THE HABITS OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES.
+
+The Parrots lived upon the Soffsky-Poffsky trees, which were beautiful to
+behold, and covered with blue leaves; and they fed upon fruit, artichokes,
+and striped beetles.
+
+The Storks walked in and out of the Lake Pipple-Popple, and ate frogs for
+breakfast, and buttered toast for tea; but on account of the extreme length
+of their legs they could not sit down, and so they walked about
+continually.
+
+The Geese, having webs to their feet, caught quantities of flies, which
+they ate for dinner.
+
+The Owls anxiously looked after mice, which they caught, and made into
+sago-puddings.
+
+The Guinea Pigs toddled about the gardens, and ate lettuces and Cheshire
+cheese.
+
+The Cats sate still in the sunshine, and fed upon sponge biscuits.
+
+The Fishes lived in the lake, and fed chiefly on boiled periwinkles.
+
+And all these seven families lived together in the utmost fun and felicity.
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+THE CHILDREN OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES ARE SENT AWAY.
+
+One day all the seven fathers and the seven mothers of the seven families
+agreed that they would send their children out to see the world.
+
+So they called them all together, and gave them each eight shillings and
+some good advice, some chocolate-drops, and a small green morocco
+pocket-book to set down their expenses in.
+
+They then particularly entreated them not to quarrel; and all the parents
+sent off their children with a parting injunction.
+
+"If," said the old Parrots, "you find a cherry, do not fight about who
+should have it."
+
+"And," said the old Storks, "if you find a frog, divide it carefully into
+seven bits, but on no account quarrel about it."
+
+And the old Geese said to the seven young Geese, "Whatever you do, be sure
+you do not touch a plum-pudding flea."
+
+And the old Owls said, "If you find a mouse, tear him up into seven slices,
+and eat him cheerfully, but without quarrelling."
+
+And the old Guinea Pigs said, "Have a care that you eat your lettuces,
+should you find any, not greedily, but calmly."
+
+And the old Cats said, "Be particularly careful not to meddle with a
+clangle-wangle if you should see one."
+
+And the old Fishes said, "Above all things, avoid eating a blue boss-woss;
+for they do not agree with fishes, and give them a pain in their toes."
+
+So all the children of each family thanked their parents; and, making in
+all forty-nine polite bows, they went into the wide world.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG PARROTS.
+
+The seven young Parrots had not gone far, when they saw a tree with a
+single cherry on it, which the oldest Parrot picked instantly; but the
+other six, being extremely hungry, tried to get it also. On which all the
+seven began to fight; and they
+scuffled,
+     and huffled,
+       and ruffled,
+         and shuffled,
+           and puffled,
+             and muffled,
+               and buffled,
+                 and duffled,
+                   and fluffled,
+                     and guffled,
+                       and bruffled,
+                         and screamed, and shrieked, and squealed,
+and squeaked, and clawed, and snapped, and bit, and bumped, and thumped,
+and dumped, and flumped each other, till they were all torn into little
+bits; and at last there was nothing left to record this painful incident
+except the cherry and seven small green feathers.
+
+And that was the vicious and voluble end of the seven young Parrots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG STORKS.
+
+When the seven young Storks set out, they walked or flew for fourteen weeks
+in a straight line, and for six weeks more in a crooked one; and after that
+they ran as hard as they could for one hundred and eight miles; and after
+that they stood still, and made a himmeltanious chatter-clatter-blattery
+noise with their bills.
+
+About the same time they perceived a large frog, spotted with green, and
+with a sky-blue stripe under each ear.
+
+So, being hungry, they immediately flew at him, and were going to divide
+him into seven pieces, when they began to quarrel as to which of his legs
+should be taken off first. One said this, and another said that; and while
+they were all quarrelling, the frog hopped away. And when they saw that he
+was gone, they began to
+  chatter-clatter,
+      blatter-platter,
+          patter-blatter,
+              matter-clatter,
+                  flatter-quatter,
+more violently than ever; and after they
+had fought for a week, they pecked each other all to little pieces, so that
+at last nothing was left of any of them except their bills.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Storks.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GEESE.
+
+When the seven young Geese began to travel, they went over a large plain,
+on which there was but one tree, and that was, a very bad one.
+
+So four of them went up to the top of it, and looked about them; while the
+other three waddled up and down, and repeated poetry, and their last six
+lessons in arithmetic, geography, and cookery.
+
+Presently they perceived, a long way off, an object of the most interesting
+and obese appearance, having a perfectly round body exactly resembling a
+boiled plum-pudding, with two little wings, and a beak, and three feathers
+growing out of his head, and only one leg.
+
+So, after a time, all the seven young Geese said to each other, "Beyond all
+doubt this beast must be a Plum-pudding Flea!"
+
+On which they incautiously began to sing aloud,
+
+       "Plum-pudding Flea,
+        Plum-pudding Flea,
+        Wherever you be,
+        Oh! come to our tree,
+    And listen, oh! listen, oh! listen to me!"
+
+And no sooner had they sung this verse than the Plum-pudding Flea began to
+hop and skip on his one leg with the most dreadful velocity, and came
+straight to the tree, where he stopped, and looked about him in a vacant
+and voluminous manner.
+
+On which the seven young Geese were greatly alarmed, and all of a
+tremble-bemble: so one of them put out his long neck, and just touched him
+with the tip of his bill; but no sooner had he done this than the
+Plum-pudding Flea skipped and hopped about more and more, and higher and
+higher; after which he opened his mouth, and, to the great surprise and
+indignation of the seven Geese, began to bark so loudly and furiously and
+terribly, that they were totally unable to bear the noise; and by degrees
+every one of them suddenly tumbled down quite dead.
+
+So that was the end of the seven young Geese.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG OWLS.
+
+When the seven young Owls set out, they sate every now and then on the
+branches of old trees, and never went far at one time.
+
+And one night, when it was quite dark, they thought they heard a mouse;
+but, as the gas-lamps were not lighted, they could not see him.
+
+So they called out, "Is that a mouse?"
+
+On which a mouse answered, "Squeaky-peeky-weeky! yes, it is!"
+
+And immediately all the young Owls threw themselves off the tree, meaning
+to alight on the ground; but they did not perceive that there was a large
+well below them, into which they all fell superficially, and were every one
+of them drowned in less than half a minute.
+
+So that was the end of the seven young Owls.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GUINEA PIGS.
+
+The seven young Guinea Pigs went into a garden full of goose-berry-bushes
+and tiggory-trees, under one of which they fell asleep. When they awoke,
+they saw a large lettuce, which had grown out of the ground while they had
+been sleeping, and which had an immense number of green leaves. At which
+they all exclaimed,--
+
+   "Lettuce! O lettuce
+    Let us, O let us,
+    O lettuce-leaves,
+    O let us leave this tree, and eat
+    Lettuce, O let us, lettuce-leaves!"
+
+And instantly the seven young Guinea Pigs rushed with such extreme force
+against the lettuce-plant, and hit their heads so vividly against its
+stalk, that the concussion brought on directly an incipient transitional
+inflammation of their noses, which grew worse and worse and worse and
+worse, till it incidentally killed them all seven.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Guinea Pigs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG CATS.
+
+The seven young Cats set off on their travels with great delight and
+rapacity. But, on coming to the top of a high hill, they perceived at a
+long distance off a Clangle-Wangle (or, as it is more properly written,
+Clangel-Wangel); and, in spite of the warning they had had, they ran
+straight up to it.
+
+(Now, the Clangle-Wangle is a most dangerous and delusive beast, and by no
+means commonly to be met with. They live in the water as well as on land,
+using their long tail as a sail when in the former element. Their speed is
+extreme; but their habits of life are domestic and superfluous, and their
+general demeanor pensive and pellucid. On summer evenings, they may
+sometimes be observed near the Lake Pipple-Popple, standing on their heads,
+and humming their national melodies. They subsist entirely on vegetables,
+excepting when they eat veal or mutton or pork or beef or fish or
+saltpetre.)
+
+The moment the Clangle-Wangle saw the seven young Cats approach, he ran
+away; and as he ran straight on for four months, and the Cats, though they
+continued to run, could never overtake him, they all gradually _died_ of
+fatigue and exhaustion, and never afterwards recovered.
+
+And this was the end of the seven young Cats.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG FISHES.
+
+The seven young Fishes swam across the Lake Pipple-Popple, and into the
+river, and into the ocean; where, most unhappily for them, they saw, on the
+fifteenth day of their travels, a bright-blue Boss-Woss, and instantly swam
+after him. But the Blue Boss-Woss plunged into a
+    perpendicular,
+        spicular,
+            orbicular,
+                quadrangular,
+                     circular depth of soft mud;
+where, in fact, his house was.
+
+And the seven young Fishes, swimming with great and uncomfortable velocity,
+plunged also into the mud quite against their will, and, not being
+accustomed to it, were all suffocated in a very short period.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Fishes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+OF WHAT OCCURRED SUBSEQUENTLY.
+
+After it was known that the
+
+            seven young Parrots,
+    and the seven young Storks,
+    and the seven young Geese,
+    and the seven young Owls,
+    and the seven young Guinea Pigs,
+    and the seven young Cats,
+    and the seven young Fishes,
+
+were all dead, then the Frog, and the Plum-pudding Flea, and the Mouse, and
+the Clangle-Wangle, and the Blue Boss-Woss, all met together to rejoice
+over their good fortune. And they collected the seven feathers of the seven
+young Parrots, and the seven bills of the seven young Storks, and the
+lettuce, and the cherry; and having placed the latter on the lettuce, and
+the other objects in a circular arrangement at their base, they danced a
+hornpipe round all these memorials until they were quite tired; after which
+they gave a tea-party, and a garden-party, and a ball, and a concert, and
+then returned to their respective homes full of joy and respect, sympathy,
+satisfaction, and disgust.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.
+
+OF WHAT BECAME OF THE PARENTS OF THE FORTY-NINE CHILDREN.
+
+BUT when the two old Parrots,
+     and the two old Storks,
+     and the two old Geese,
+     and the two old Owls,
+     and the two old Guinea Pigs,
+     and the two old Cats,
+     and the two old Fishes,
+
+became aware, by reading in the newspapers, of the calamitous extinction of
+the whole of their families, they refused all further sustenance; and,
+sending out to various shops, they purchased great quantities of Cayenne
+pepper and brandy and vinegar and blue sealing-wax, besides seven immense
+glass bottles with air-tight stoppers. And, having done this, they ate a
+light supper of brown-bread and Jerusalem artichokes, and took an
+affecting and formal leave of the whole of their acquaintance, which was
+very numerous and distinguished and select and responsible and ridiculous.
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV.
+
+CONCLUSION.
+
+And after this they filled the bottles with the ingredients for pickling,
+and each couple jumped into a separate bottle; by which effort, of course,
+they all died immediately, and became thoroughly pickled in a few minutes;
+having previously made their wills (by the assistance of the most eminent
+lawyers of the district), in which they left strict orders that the
+stoppers of the seven bottles should be carefully sealed up with the blue
+sealing-wax they had purchased; and that they themselves, in the bottles,
+should be presented to the principal museum of the city of Tosh, to be
+labelled with parchment or any other anti-congenial succedaneum, and to be
+placed on a marble table with silver-gilt legs, for the daily inspection
+and contemplation, and for the perpetual benefit, of the pusillanimous
+public.
+
+And if you ever happen to go to Gramble-Blamble, and visit that museum in
+the city of Tosh, look for them on the ninety-eighth table in the four
+hundred and twenty-seventh room of the right-hand corridor of the left wing
+of the central quadrangle of that magnificent building; for, if you do not,
+you certainly will not see them.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+                 NONSENSE COOKERY.
+
+Extract from "The Nonsense Gazette," for August, 1870.
+
+"Our readers will be interested in the following communications from our
+valued and learned contributor, Prof. Bosh, whose labors in the fields of
+culinary and botanical science are so well known to all the world. The
+first three articles richly merit to be added to the domestic cookery of
+every family: those which follow claim the attention of all botanists; and
+we are happy to be able, through Dr. Bosh's kindness, to present our
+readers with illustrations of his discoveries. All the new flowers are
+found in the Valley of Verrikwier, near the Lake of Oddgrow, and on the
+summit of the Hill Orfeltugg."
+
+
+
+THREE RECEIPTS FOR DOMESTIC COOKERY.
+
+
+TO MAKE AN AMBLONGUS PIE.
+
+Take 4 pounds (say 4-1/2 pounds) of fresh Amblongusses, and put them in a
+small pipkin.
+
+Cover them with water, and boil them for 8 hours incessantly; after which
+add 2 pints of new milk, and proceed to boil for 4 hours more.
+
+When you have ascertained that the Amblongusses are quite soft, take them
+out, and place them in a wide pan, taking care to shake them well
+previously.
+
+Grate some nutmeg over the surface, and cover them carefully with powdered
+gingerbread, curry-powder, and a sufficient quantity of Cayenne pepper.
+
+Remove the pan into the next room, and place it on the floor. Bring it back
+again, and let it simmer for three-quarters of an hour. Shake the pan
+violently till all the Amblongusses have become of a pale purple color.
+
+Then, having prepared the paste, insert the whole carefully; adding at the
+same time a small pigeon, 2 slices of beef, 4 cauliflowers, and any number
+of oysters.
+
+Watch patiently till the crust begins to rise, and add a pinch of salt from
+time to time.
+
+Serve up in a clean dish, and throw the whole out of window as fast as
+possible.
+
+
+TO MAKE CRUMBOBBLIOUS CUTLETS.
+
+Procure some strips of beef, and, having cut them into the smallest
+possible slices, proceed to cut them still smaller,--eight, or perhaps
+nine times.
+
+When the whole is thus minced, brush it up hastily with a new
+clothes-brush, and stir round rapidly and capriciously with a salt-spoon
+or a soup-ladle.
+
+Place the whole in a saucepan, and remove it to a sunny place,--say the
+roof of the house, if free from sparrows or other birds,--and leave it
+there for about a week.
+
+At the end of that time add a little lavender, some oil of almonds, and a
+few herring-bones; and then cover the whole with 4 gallons of clarified
+Crumbobblious sauce, when it will be ready for use.
+
+Cut it into the shape of ordinary cutlets, and serve up in a clean
+table-cloth or dinner-napkin.
+
+
+TO MAKE GOSKY PATTIES.
+
+Take a pig three or four years of age, and tie him by the off hind-leg to a
+post. Place 5 pounds of currants, 3 of sugar, 2 pecks of peas, 18 roast
+chestnuts, a candle, and 6 bushels of turnips, within his reach: if he eats
+these, constantly provide him with more.
+
+Then procure some cream, some slices of Cheshire cheese, 4 quires of
+foolscap paper, and a packet of black pins. Work the whole into a paste,
+and spread it out to dry on a sheet of clean brown waterproof linen.
+
+When the paste is perfectly dry, but not before, proceed to beat the pig
+violently with the handle of a large broom. If he squeals, beat him again.
+
+Visit the paste and beat the pig alternately for some days, and ascertain
+if, at the end of that period, the whole is about to turn into Gosky
+Patties.
+
+If it does not then, it never will; and in that case the pig may be let
+loose, and the whole process may be considered as finished.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Baccopipia Gracilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia.]
+
+[Illustration: Cockatooca Superba.]
+
+[Illustration: Fishia Marina.]
+
+[Illustration: Guittara Pensilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Manypeeplia Upsidownia.]
+
+[Illustration: Phattfacia Stupenda.]
+
+[Illustration: Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis.]
+
+[Illustration: Plumbunnia Nutritiosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Pollybirdia Singularis.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE ALPHABETS.
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    A was an ant
+    Who seldom stood still,
+    And who made a nice house
+    In the side of a hill.
+
+            a!
+     Nice little ant!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    B was a book
+    With a binding of blue,
+    And pictures and stories
+    For me and for you.
+
+            b!
+     Nice little book!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    C was a cat
+    Who ran after a rat;
+    But his courage did fail
+    When she seized on his tail.
+
+            c!
+      Crafty old cat!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    D was a duck
+    With spots on his back,
+    Who lived in the water,
+    And always said "Quack!"
+
+            d!
+      Dear little duck!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    E was an elephant,
+    Stately and wise:
+    He had tusks and a trunk,
+    And two queer little eyes.
+
+            e!
+    Oh, what funny small eyes!
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+
+    F was a fish
+    Who was caught in a net;
+    But he got out again,
+    And is quite alive yet.
+
+            f!
+      Lively young fish!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    G was a goat
+    Who was spotted with brown:
+    When he did not lie still
+    He walked up and down.
+
+            g!
+      Good little goat!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    H was a hat
+    Which was all on one side;
+    Its crown was too high,
+    And its brim was too wide.
+
+            h!
+      Oh, what a hat!
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    I was some ice
+    So white and so nice,
+    But which nobody tasted;
+    And so it was wasted.
+
+            i!
+    All that good ice!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+
+    J was a jackdaw
+    Who hopped up and down
+    In the principal street
+    Of a neighboring town.
+
+            j!
+     All through the town!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    K was a kite
+    Which flew out of sight,
+    Above houses so high,
+    Quite into the sky.
+
+            k
+       Fly away, kite!
+
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    L was a light
+    Which burned all the night,
+    And lighted the gloom
+    Of a very dark room.
+
+            l!
+     Useful nice light!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    M was a mill
+    Which stood on a hill,
+    And turned round and round
+    With a loud hummy sound.
+
+            m!
+      Useful old mill!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    N was a net
+    Which was thrown in the sea
+    To catch fish for dinner
+    For you and for me.
+
+            n!
+      Nice little net!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    O was an orange
+    So yellow and round:
+    When it fell off the tree,
+    It fell down to the ground.
+
+            o!
+    Down to the ground!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    P was a pig,
+    Who was not very big;
+    But his tail was too curly,
+    And that made him surly.
+
+            p!
+    Cross little pig!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a quail
+    With a very short tail;
+    And he fed upon corn
+    In the evening and morn.
+
+            q!
+    Quaint little quail!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    R was a rabbit,
+    Who had a bad habit
+    Of eating the flowers
+    In gardens and bowers.
+
+            r!
+     Naughty fat rabbit!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    S was the sugar-tongs,
+    Nippity-nee,
+    To take up the sugar
+    To put in our tea.
+
+            s!
+       Nippity-nee!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    T was a tortoise,
+    All yellow and black:
+    He walked slowly away,
+    And he never came back.
+
+            t!
+    Torty never came back!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    U was an urn
+    All polished and bright,
+    And full of hot water
+    At noon and at night.
+
+            u!
+     Useful old urn!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    V was a villa
+    Which stood on a hill,
+    By the side of a river,
+    And close to a mill.
+
+            v!
+    Nice little villa!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    W was a whale
+    With a very long tail,
+    Whose movements were frantic
+    Across the Atlantic.
+
+            w!
+   Monstrous old whale!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes,
+    Who, more than all Turks, is
+    Renowned for his fashion
+    Of fury and passion.
+
+            x!
+    Angry old Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a yew,
+    Which flourished and grew
+    By a quiet abode
+    Near the side of a road.
+
+            y!
+     Dark little yew!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Z was some zinc,
+    So shiny and bright,
+    Which caused you to wink
+    In the sun's merry light.
+
+            z!
+       Beautiful zinc!
+
+
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            a
+
+    A was once an apple-pie,
+        Pidy,
+        Widy,
+        Tidy,
+        Pidy,
+      Nice insidy,
+      Apple-pie!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            b
+
+    B was once a little bear,
+        Beary,
+        Wary,
+        Hairy,
+        Beary,
+      Taky cary,
+      Little bear!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            c
+
+    C was once a little cake,
+        Caky,
+        Baky,
+        Maky,
+        Caky,
+      Taky caky,
+      Little cake!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            d
+
+    D was once a little doll,
+        Dolly,
+        Molly,
+        Polly,
+        Nolly,
+      Nursy dolly,
+      Little doll!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            e
+
+    E was once a little eel,
+        Eely,
+        Weely,
+        Peely,
+        Eely,
+      Twirly, tweely,
+        Little eel!
+
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            f
+
+    F was once a little fish,
+        Fishy,
+        Wishy,
+        Squishy,
+        Fishy,
+      In a dishy,
+      Little fish!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            g
+
+    G was once a little goose,
+        Goosy,
+        Moosy,
+        Boosey,
+        Goosey,
+      Waddly-woosy,
+      Little goose!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            h
+
+    H was once a little hen,
+        Henny,
+        Chenny,
+        Tenny,
+        Henny.
+      Eggsy-any,
+      Little hen?
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            i
+
+    I was once a bottle of ink
+        Inky,
+        Dinky,
+        Thinky,
+        Inky,
+      Blacky minky,
+      Bottle of ink!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            j
+
+    J was once a jar of jam,
+        Jammy,
+        Mammy,
+        Clammy,
+        Jammy,
+      Sweety, swammy,
+        Jar of jam!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            k
+
+    K was once a little kite,
+        Kity,
+        Whity,
+        Flighty,
+        Kity,
+      Out of sighty,
+        Little kite!
+
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            l
+
+    L was once a little lark,
+        Larky,
+        Marky,
+        Harky,
+        Larky,
+      In the parky,
+      Little lark!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            m
+
+    M was once a little mouse,
+        Mousy,
+        Bousy,
+        Sousy,
+        Mousy,
+      In the housy,
+      Little mouse!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            n
+
+    N was once a little needle,
+        Needly,
+        Tweedly,
+        Threedly,
+        Needly,
+      Wisky, wheedly,
+      Little needle!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            o
+
+    O was once a little owl,
+        Owly,
+        Prowly,
+        Howly,
+        Owly,
+      Browny fowly,
+      Little owl!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            p
+
+    P was once a little pump,
+        Pumpy,
+        Slumpy,
+        Flumpy,
+        Pumpy,
+      Dumpy, thumpy,
+        Little pump!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            q
+
+    Q was once a little quail,
+        Quaily,
+        Faily,
+        Daily,
+        Quaily,
+      Stumpy-taily,
+      Little quail!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            r
+
+    R was once a little rose,
+        Rosy,
+        Posy,
+        Nosy,
+        Rosy,
+     Blows-y, grows-y,
+       Little rose!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            s
+
+    S was once a little shrimp,
+        Shrimpy,
+        Nimpy,
+        Flimpy,
+        Shrimpy.
+     Jumpy, jimpy,
+      Little shrimp!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            t
+
+    T was once a little thrush,
+        Thrushy,
+        Hushy,
+        Bushy,
+        Thrushy,
+      Flitty, flushy,
+      Little thrush!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            u
+
+    U was once a little urn,
+           Urny,
+           Burny,
+           Turny,
+           Urny,
+      Bubbly, burny,
+        Little urn!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            v
+
+    V was once a little vine,
+        Viny,
+        Winy,
+        Twiny,
+        Viny,
+      Twisty-twiny,
+      Little vine!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            w
+
+    W was once a whale,
+        Whaly,
+        Scaly,
+        Shaly,
+        Whaly,
+      Tumbly-taily,
+      Mighty whale!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            x
+
+    X was once a great king Xerxes,
+          Xerxy,
+          Perxy,
+          Turxy,
+          Xerxy,
+        Linxy, lurxy,
+      Great King Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            y
+
+    Y was once a little yew,
+        Yewdy,
+        Fewdy,
+        Crudy,
+        Yewdy,
+    Growdy, grewdy,
+      Little yew!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            z
+
+    Z was once a piece of zinc,
+        Tinky,
+        Winky,
+        Blinky,
+        Tinky,
+      Tinkly minky,
+      Piece of zinc!
+
+
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    A was an ape,
+    Who stole some white tape,
+    And tied up his toes
+    In four beautiful bows.
+
+            a!
+
+    Funny old ape!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    B was a bat,
+    Who slept all the day,
+    And fluttered about
+    When the sun went away.
+
+            b!
+
+    Brown little bat!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    C was a camel:
+    You rode on his hump;
+    And if you fell off,
+    You came down such a bump!
+
+
+            c!
+
+    What a high camel!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    D was a dove,
+    Who lived in a wood,
+    With such pretty soft wings,
+    And so gentle and good!
+
+            d!
+
+    Dear little dove!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    E was an eagle,
+    Who sat on the rocks,
+    And looked down on the fields
+    And the-far-away flocks.
+
+            e!
+
+    Beautiful eagle!
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    F was a fan
+    Made of beautiful stuff;
+    And when it was used,
+    It went puffy-puff-puff!
+
+            f!
+
+    Nice little fan!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    G was a gooseberry,
+    Perfectly red;
+    To be made into jam,
+    And eaten with bread.
+
+            g!
+
+    Gooseberry red!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    H was a heron,
+    Who stood in a stream:
+    The length of his neck
+    And his legs was extreme.
+
+            h!
+
+    Long-legged heron!
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    I was an inkstand,
+    Which stood on a table,
+    With a nice pen to write with
+    When we are able.
+
+            i!
+
+    Neat little inkstand!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    J was a jug,
+    So pretty and white,
+    With fresh water in it
+    At morning and night.
+
+            j!
+
+    Nice little jug!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    K was a kingfisher:
+    Quickly he flew,
+    So bright and so pretty!--
+    Green, purple, and blue.
+
+            k!
+
+    Kingfisher blue!
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    L was a lily,
+    So white and so sweet!
+    To see it and smell it
+    Was quite a nice treat.
+
+            l!
+
+    Beautiful lily!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    M was a man,
+    Who walked round and round;
+    And he wore a long coat
+    That came down to the ground.
+
+            m!
+
+    Funny old man!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    N was a nut
+    So smooth and so brown!
+    And when it was ripe,
+    It fell tumble-dum-down.
+
+            n!
+
+    Nice little nut!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    O was an oyster,
+    Who lived in his shell:
+    If you let him alone,
+    He felt perfectly well.
+
+            o!
+
+    Open-mouthed oyster!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    P was a polly,
+    All red, blue, and green,--
+    The most beautiful polly
+    That ever was seen.
+
+            p!
+
+    Poor little polly!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a quill
+    Made into a pen;
+    But I do not know where,
+    And I cannot say when.
+
+            q!
+
+    Nice little quill!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    R was a rattlesnake,
+    Rolled up so tight,
+    Those who saw him ran quickly,
+    For fear he should bite.
+
+            r!
+
+    Rattlesnake bite!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    S was a screw
+    To screw down a box;
+    And then it was fastened
+    Without any locks.
+
+            s!
+
+    Valuable screw!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    T was a thimble,
+    Of silver so bright!
+    When placed on the finger,
+    It fitted so tight!
+
+            t!
+
+    Nice little thimble!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    U was an upper-coat,
+    Woolly and warm,
+    To wear over all
+    In the snow or the storm.
+
+            u!
+
+    What a nice upper-coat!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    V was a veil
+    With a border upon it,
+    And a ribbon to tie it
+    All round a pink bonnet.
+
+            v!
+
+    Pretty green veil!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    W was a watch,
+    Where, in letters of gold,
+    The hour of the day
+    You might always behold.
+
+            w!
+
+    Beautiful watch!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes,
+    Who wore on his head
+    A mighty large turban,
+    Green, yellow, and red.
+
+            x!
+
+    Look at King Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a yak,
+    From the land of Thibet:
+    Except his white tail,
+    He was all black as jet.
+
+            y!
+
+    Look at the yak!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Z was a zebra,
+    All striped white and black;
+    And if he were tame,
+    You might ride on his back.
+
+            z!
+
+    Pretty striped zebra!
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+MORE NONSENSE
+
+Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+  NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+  ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES
+
+  TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+In offering this little book--the third of its kind--to the public, I am
+glad to take the opportunity of recording the pleasure I have received at
+the appreciation its predecessors have met with, as attested by their wide
+circulation, and by the universally kind notices of them from the Press. To
+have been the means of administering innocent mirth to thousands, may
+surely be a just motive for satisfaction, and an excuse for grateful
+expression.
+
+At the same time, I am desirous of adding a few words as to the history of
+the two previously published volumes, and more particularly of the first or
+original "Book of Nonsense," relating to which many absurd reports have
+crept into circulation, such as that it was the composition of the late
+Lord Brougham, the late Earl of Derby, etc.; that the rhymes and pictures
+are by different persons; or that the whole have a symbolical meaning,
+etc.; whereas, every one of the Rhymes was composed by myself, and every
+one of the Illustrations drawn by my own hand at the time the verses were
+made. Moreover, in no portion of these Nonsense drawings have I ever
+allowed any caricature of private or public persons to appear, and
+throughout, more care than might be supposed has been given to make the
+subjects incapable of misinterpretation: "Nonsense," pure and absolute,
+having been my aim throughout.
+
+As for the persistently absurd report of the late Earl of Derby being the
+author of the "First Book of Nonsense," I may relate an incident which
+occurred to me four summers ago, the first that gave me any insight into
+the origin of the rumor.
+
+I was on my way from London to Guildford, in a railway carriage,
+containing, besides myself, one passenger, an elderly gentleman: presently,
+however, two ladies entered, accompanied by two little boys. These, who had
+just had a copy of the "Book of Nonsense" given them, were loud in their
+delight, and by degrees infected the whole party with their mirth.
+
+"How grateful," said the old gentleman to the two ladies, "all children,
+and parents too, ought to be to the statesman who has given his time to
+composing that charming book!"
+
+(The ladies looked puzzled, as indeed was I, the author.)
+
+"Do you not know who is the writer of it?" asked the gentleman.
+
+"The name is 'Edward Lear,'" said one of the ladies.
+
+"Ah!" said the first speaker, "so it is printed; but that is only a whim of
+the real author, the Earl of Derby. 'Edward' is his Christian name, and, as
+you may see, LEAR is only EARL transposed."
+
+"But," said the lady, doubtingly, "here is a dedication to the
+great-grandchildren, grand-nephews, and grand-nieces of Edward, thirteenth
+Earl of Derby, by the author, Edward Lear."
+
+"That," replied the other, "is simply a piece of mystification; I am in a
+position to know that the whole book was composed and illustrated by Lord
+Derby himself. In fact, there is no such a person at all as Edward Lear."
+
+"Yet," said the other lady, "some friends of mine tell me they know Mr.
+Lear."
+
+"Quite a mistake! completely a mistake!" said the old gentleman, becoming
+rather angry at the contradiction; "I am well aware of what I am saying: I
+can inform you, no such a person as 'Edward Lear' exists!"
+
+Hitherto I had kept silence; but as my hat was, as well as my handkerchief
+and stick, largely marked inside with my name, and as I happened to have in
+my pocket several letters addressed to me, the temptation was too great to
+resist; so, flashing all these articles at once on my would-be
+extinguisher's attention, I speedily reduced him to silence.
+
+The second volume of Nonsense, commencing with the verses, "The Owl and the
+Pussy-Cat," was written at different times, and for different sets of
+children: the whole being collected in the course of last year, were then
+illustrated, and published in a single volume, by Mr. R.J. Bush, of 32
+Charing Cross.
+
+The contents of the third or present volume were made also at different
+intervals in the last two years.
+
+Long years ago, in days when much of my time was passed in a country house,
+where children and mirth abounded, the lines beginning, "There was an old
+man of Tobago," were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+lending itself to limitless variety for rhymes and pictures; and
+thenceforth the greater part of the original drawings and verses for the
+first "Book of Nonsense" were struck off with a pen, no assistance ever
+having been given me in any way but that of uproarious delight and welcome
+at the appearance of every new absurdity.
+
+Most of these Drawings and Rhymes were transferred to lithographic stones
+in the year 1846, and were then first published by Mr. Thomas McLean, of
+the Haymarket. But that edition having been soon exhausted, and the call
+for the "Book of Nonsense" continuing, I added a considerable number of
+subjects to those previously-published, and having caused the whole to be
+carefully reproduced in woodcuts by Messrs. Dalzell, I disposed of the
+copyright to Messrs. Routledge and Warne, by whom the volume was published
+in 1843.
+                                                              EDWARD LEAR.
+
+VILLA EMILY, SAN REMO,
+August, 1871.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Barkia Howlaloudia.]
+
+[Illustration: Enkoopia Chickabiddia.]
+
+[Illustration: Jinglia Tinkettlia.]
+
+[Illustration: Nasticreechia Krorluppia.]
+
+[Illustration: Arthbroomia Rigida.]
+
+[Illustration: Sophtsluggia Glutinosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Minspysia Deliciosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Shoebootia Utilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Stunnia Dinnerbellia.]
+
+[Illustration: Tickia Orologica.]
+
+[Illustration: Washtubbia Circularis.]
+
+[Illustration: Tigerlillia Terribilis.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Bantry,
+    Who frequently slept in the pantry;
+    When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,
+    That judicious young person of Bantry.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man at a Junction,
+    Whose feelings were wrung with compunction
+    When they said, "The Train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How forlorn!"
+    But remained on the rails of the Junction.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Minety,
+    Who purchased five hundred and ninety
+    Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares
+    At the heads of the people of Minety.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Thermopylae,
+    Who never did anything properly;
+    But they said, "If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,
+    You shall never remain in Thermopylae."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Deal,
+    Who in walking used only his heel;
+    When they said, "Tell us why?" he made no reply,
+    That mysterious old person of Deal.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man on the Humber,
+    Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;
+    When he said, "It's enough!" they only said, "Stuff!
+    You amazing old man on the Humber!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a barge,
+    Whose nose was exceedingly large;
+    But in fishing by night, it supported a light,
+    Which helped that old man in a barge.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dunrose;
+    A parrot seized hold of his nose.
+    When he grew melancholy, they said, "His name's Polly,"
+    Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Toulouse
+    Who purchased a new pair of shoes;
+    When they asked, "Are they pleasant?" he said, "Not at present!"
+    That turbid old man of Toulouse.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bree,
+    Who frequented the depths of the sea;
+    She nurs'd the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,
+    And swam back again into Bree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bromley,
+    Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;
+    He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,
+    That unpleasing old person of Bromley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Shields,
+    Who frequented the vallies and fields;
+    All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,
+    Followed after that person of Shields.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dunluce,
+    Who went out to sea on a goose:
+    When he'd gone out a mile, he observ'd with a smile,
+    "It is time to return to Dunluce."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dee-side
+    Whose hat was exceedingly wide,
+    But he said, "Do not fail, if it happen to hail,
+    To come under my hat at Dee-side!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person in black,
+    A Grasshopper jumped on his back;
+    When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,
+    That helpless old person in black.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of the Dargle
+    Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;
+    For he said, "I'll sit still, and will roll them down hill,
+    For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pinner,
+    As thin as a lath, if not thinner;
+    They dressed him in white, and roll'd him up tight,
+    That elastic old person of Pinner.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of China,
+    Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,
+    Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,
+    And all of them settled in China.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a Marsh,
+    Whose manners were futile and harsh;
+    He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,
+    That instructive old man in a Marsh.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Brill,
+    Who purchased a shirt with a frill;
+    But they said, "Don't you wish, you mayn't look like a fish,
+    You obsequious old person of Brill?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Wick,
+    Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;
+    Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he said nothing more,
+    That laconic old person of Wick.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man at a Station,
+    Who made a promiscuous oration;
+    But they said, "Take some snuff!--You have talk'd quite enough,
+    You afflicting old man at a Station!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Three Bridges,
+    Whose mind was distracted by midges,
+    He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,
+    Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Hong Kong,
+    Who never did anything wrong;
+    He lay on his back, with his head in a sack,
+    That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in green,
+    Who seldom was fit to be seen;
+    She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all,
+    Which enveloped that person in green.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Fife,
+    Who was greatly disgusted with life;
+    They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,
+    Which cured that old person of Fife.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man who screamed out
+    Whenever they knocked him about:
+    So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,
+    And continued to knock him about.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady in white,
+    Who looked out at the depths of the night;
+    But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,
+    And oppressed that young lady in white.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Slough,
+    Who danced at the end of a bough;
+    But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,
+    You imprudent old person of Slough."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Down,
+    Whose face was adorned with a frown;
+    When he opened the door, for one minute or more,
+    He alarmed all the people of Down.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in red,
+    Who carefully covered her head,
+    With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather,
+    Besides some long ribands of red.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Hove,
+    Who frequented the depths of a grove;
+    Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,
+    That tranquil old person of Hove.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in pink,
+    Who called out for something to drink;
+    But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water!"
+    Which vexed that young person in pink.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old lady of France,
+    Who taught little ducklings to dance;
+    When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they only said, "Quack!"
+    Which grieved that old lady of France.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Putney,
+    Whose food was roast spiders and chutney,
+    Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea,
+    That romantic old person of Putney.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Loo,
+    Who said, "What on earth shall I do?"
+    When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay,
+    That vexatious old person of Loo.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Woking,
+    Whose mind was perverse and provoking;
+    He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail,
+    That illusive old person of Woking.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Dean
+    Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
+    For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"
+    That cautious old person of Dean.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady in blue,
+    Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?"
+    When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!"
+    That ungracious young lady in blue.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Man in a Garden,
+    Who always begged every one's pardon;
+    When they asked him, "What for?" he replied, "You're a bore!
+    And I trust you'll go out of my garden."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pisa,
+    Whose daughters did nothing to please her;
+    She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day,
+    Round the walls of the city of Pisa.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Florence,
+    Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
+    He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,
+    Which choked that old person of Florence.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sheen,
+    Whose expression was calm and serene;
+    He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,
+    That placid old person of Sheen.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ware,
+    Who rode on the back of a bear;
+    When they ask'd, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!
+    He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Janina,
+    Whose uncle was always a fanning her;
+    When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said,
+    "You propitious old person of Janina!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Cashmere,
+    Whose movements were scroobious and queer;
+    Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,
+    And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Cassel,
+    Whose nose finished off in a tassel;
+    But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell!"
+    Which perplexed that old person of Cassel.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pett,
+    Who was partly consumed by regret;
+    He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,
+    Which relieved that old person of Pett.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Spithead,
+    Who opened the window, and said,--
+    "Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"
+    That doubtful old man of Spithead.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man on the Border,
+    Who lived in the utmost disorder;
+    He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,
+    Which vexed all the folks on the Border.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dumbree,
+    Who taught little owls to drink tea;
+    For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"
+    That amiable man of Dumbree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Filey,
+    Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
+    He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,
+    And delighted the people of Filey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man whose remorse
+    Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;
+    For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,
+    It will certainly soothe your remorse!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Ibreem,
+    Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;
+    But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue,
+    You disgusting old man of Ibreem!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Wilts,
+    Who constantly walked upon stilts;
+    He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,
+    That elegant person of Wilts.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Grange,
+    Whose manners were scroobious and strange;
+    He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,
+    That aquatic old person of Grange.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Newry,
+    Whose manners were tinctured with fury;
+    He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,
+    Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dumblane,
+    Who greatly resembled a crane;
+    But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
+    To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Port Grigor,
+    Whose actions were noted for vigour;
+    He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,
+    That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of El Hums,
+    Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
+    Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
+    In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of West Dumpet,
+    Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
+    When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,
+    And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sark,
+    Who made an unpleasant remark;
+    But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be,
+    You obnoxious old person of Sark!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man whose despair
+    Induced him to purchase a hare:
+    Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away,
+    Which partly assuaged his despair.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Barnes,
+    Whose garments were covered with darns;
+    But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out,
+    You luminous person of Barnes!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Nice,
+    Whose associates were usually Geese.
+    They walked out together in all sorts of weather,
+    That affable person of Nice!
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Greenwich,
+    Whose garments were border'd with Spinach;
+    But a large spotty Calf bit her shawl quite in half,
+    Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Cannes,
+    Who purchased three fowls and a fan;
+    Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool
+    She constantly fanned them at Cannes.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ickley,
+    Who could not abide to ride quickly;
+    He rode to Karnak on a tortoise's back,
+    That moony old person of Ickley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Hyde,
+    Who walked by the shore with his bride,
+    Till a Crab who came near fill'd their bosoms with fear,
+    And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person in gray,
+    Whose feelings were tinged with dismay;
+    She purchased two parrots, and fed them with carrots,
+    Which pleased that old person in gray.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Ancona,
+    Who found a small dog with no owner,
+    Which he took up and down all the streets of the town,
+    That anxious old man of Ancona.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sestri,
+    Who sate himself down in the vestry;
+    When they said, "You are wrong!" he merely said "Bong!"
+    That repulsive old person of Sestri.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Blythe,
+    Who cut up his meat with a scythe;
+    When they said, "Well! I never!" he cried, "Scythes for ever!"
+    That lively old person of Blythe.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Ayr,
+    Whose head was remarkably square:
+    On the top, in fine weather, she wore a gold feather;
+    Which dazzled the people of Ayr.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Rimini,
+    Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!"
+    When they said, "Please be still!" she ran down a hill,
+    And was never more heard of at Rimini.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There is a young lady, whose nose,
+    Continually prospers and grows;
+    When it grew out of sight, she exclaimed in a fright,
+    "Oh! Farewell to the end of my nose!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ealing,
+    Who was wholly devoid of good feeling;
+    He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig,
+    Which distressed all the people of Ealing.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Thames Ditton,
+    Who called out for something to sit on;
+    But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon that,
+    You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bray,
+    Who sang through the whole of the day
+    To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs,
+    That valuable person of Bray.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person whose history
+    Was always considered a mystery;
+    She sate in a ditch, although no one knew which,
+    And composed a small treatise on history.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bow,
+    Whom nobody happened to know;
+    So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope
+    You will go back directly to Bow!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Rye,
+    Who went up to town on a fly;
+    But they said, "If you cough, you are safe to fall off!
+    You abstemious old person of Rye!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Crowle,
+    Who lived in the nest of an owl;
+    When they screamed in the nest, he screamed out with the rest,
+    That depressing old person of Crowle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,
+    Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see
+    On the floor of my room, sweep it up with the broom!"
+    That exhaustive old Lady of Winchelsea!
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a tree,
+    Whose whiskers were lovely to see;
+    But the birds of the air pluck'd them perfectly bare,
+    To make themselves nests in that tree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Corsica,
+    Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur;
+    Which she fed upon ham, and hot raspberry jam,
+    That expensive young lady of Corsica.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Firle,
+    Whose hair was addicted to curl;
+    It curled up a tree, and all over the sea,
+    That expansive young lady of Firle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Stroud,
+    Who was horribly jammed in a crowd;
+    Some she slew with a kick, some she scrunched with a stick,
+    That impulsive old person of Stroud.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Boulak,
+    Who sate on a Crocodile's back;
+    But they said, "Towr'ds the night he may probably bite,
+    Which might vex you, old man of Boulak!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Skye,
+    Who waltz'd with a Bluebottle fly:
+    They buzz'd a sweet tune, to the light of the moon,
+    And entranced all the people of Skye.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Blackheath,
+    Whose head was adorned with a wreath
+    Of lobsters and spice, pickled onions and mice,
+    That uncommon old man of Blackheath.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man, who when little
+    Fell casually into a kettle;
+    But, growing too stout, he could never get out,
+    So he passed all his life in that kettle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Dundalk,
+    Who tried to teach fishes to walk;
+    When they tumbled down dead, he grew weary, and said,
+    "I had better go back to Dundalk!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Shoreham,
+    Whose habits were marked by decorum;
+    He bought an Umbrella, and sate in the cellar,
+    Which pleased all the people of Shoreham.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bar,
+    Who passed all her life in a jar,
+    Which she painted pea-green, to appear more serene,
+    That placid old person of Bar.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Kew,
+    Whose virtues and vices were few;
+    But with blamable haste she devoured some hot paste,
+    Which destroyed that young person of Kew.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Jodd,
+    Whose ways were perplexing and odd;
+    She purchased a whistle, and sate on a thistle,
+    And squeaked to the people of Jodd.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bude,
+    Whose deportment was vicious and crude;
+    He wore a large ruff of pale straw-colored stuff,
+    Which perplexed all the people of Bude.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Brigg,
+    Who purchased no end of a wig;
+    So that only his nose, and the end of his toes,
+    Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Messina,
+    Whose daughter was named Opsibeena;
+    She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig,
+    To the perfect delight of Messina.
+
+
+
+
+TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES.
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,
+    who resided in a Barrel, and only lived on
+    Soda Water and Pickled Cucumbers.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Bountiful Beetle,
+    who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn't rain,
+    and left it at home when it did.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Comfortable Confidential Cow,
+    who sate in her Red Morocco Arm Chair and
+    toasted her own Bread at the parlour Fire.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Dolomphious Duck,
+    who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner
+    with a Runcible Spoon.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Enthusiastic Elephant,
+    who ferried himself across the water with the
+    Kitchen Poker and a New pair of Ear-rings.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Fizzgiggious Fish,
+    who always walked about upon Stilts,
+    because he had no legs.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Good-natured Grey Gull,
+    who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag,
+    across the river, because he could not swim.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,
+    who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,
+    and bought a Fish for her Supper.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Inventive Indian,
+    who caught a Remarkable Rabbit in a
+    Stupendous Silver Spoon.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Judicious Jubilant Jay,
+    who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses,
+    Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Kicking Kangaroo,
+    who wore a Pale Pink Muslin dress
+    with Blue spots.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Lively Learned Lobster,
+    who mended his own Clothes with
+    a Needle and Thread.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,
+    who played a merry minuet on the
+    Piano-forte.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Nutritious Newt,
+    who purchased a Round Plum-pudding
+    for his grand-daughter.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,
+    who wore Boots to keep his
+    feet quite dry.
+
+    [Illustration: PARSNIP PIE]
+
+    The Perpendicular Purple Polly,
+    who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie
+    with his Spectacles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Queer Querulous Quail,
+    who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of
+    a Tin Tea-kettle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Rural Runcible Raven,
+    who wore a White Wig and flew away
+    with the Carpet Broom.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Scroobious Snake,
+    who always wore a Hat on his Head, for
+    fear he should bite anybody.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,
+    who beat a Drum all day long in the
+    middle of the wilderness.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,
+    whose Face nobody ever saw, because it was
+    always covered by his Umbrella.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Visibly Vicious Vulture,
+    who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a
+    Volume bound in Vellum.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,
+    who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a
+    Flute with a Morning Cap.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Excellent Double-extra XX
+    imbibing King Xerxes, who lived a
+    long while ago.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+    whose Head was ever so much bigger than his
+    Body, and whose Hat was rather small.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,
+    who carried five Monkeys on his back all
+    the way to Jellibolee.
+
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+LAUGHABLE LYRICS
+
+A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+Author of the _Book of Nonsense_, _More Nonsense_,
+_Nonsense Songs, Stories_, etc., etc.
+
+
+With All the Original Illustrations.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+    LAUGHABLE LYRICS.
+        THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE
+        THE TWO OLD BACHELORS
+        THE PELICAN CHORUS
+        THE YONGHY-BONGHY-Bò
+        THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES
+        THE NEW VESTMENTS
+        MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS
+        THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT
+        THE CUMMERBUND
+        THE AKOND OF SWAT
+
+    NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+      " ALPHABET, No. 5
+      "       "   No. 6
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+LAUGHABLE LYRICS.
+
+
+THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    When awful darkness and silence reign
+    Over the great Gromboolian plain,
+        Through the long, long wintry nights;
+    When the angry breakers roar
+    As they beat on the rocky shore;
+        When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights
+    Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,--
+
+    Then, through the vast and gloomy dark
+    There moves what seems a fiery spark,--
+        A lonely spark with silvery rays
+        Piercing the coal-black night,--
+        A Meteor strange and bright:
+    Hither and thither the vision strays,
+        A single lurid light.
+
+    Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,--
+    Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps;
+    And ever as onward it gleaming goes
+    A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.
+    And those who watch at that midnight hour
+    From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,
+    Cry, as the wild light passes along,--
+       "The Dong! the Dong!
+      The wandering Dong through the forest goes!
+        The Dong! the Dong!
+      The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
+
+        Long years ago
+      The Dong was happy and gay,
+    Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl
+      Who came to those shores one day.
+    For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,--
+    Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd
+        Where the Oblong Oysters grow,
+      And the rocks are smooth and gray.
+    And all the woods and the valleys rang
+    With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,--
+        "_Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
+          Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve._"
+
+    Happily, happily passed those days!
+      While the cheerful Jumblies staid;
+        They danced in circlets all night long,
+        To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,
+      In moonlight, shine, or shade.
+    For day and night he was always there
+    By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,
+    With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair;
+    Till the morning came of that hateful day
+    When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,
+    And the Dong was left on the cruel shore
+    Gazing, gazing for evermore,--
+    Ever keeping his weary eyes on
+    That pea-green sail on the far horizon,--
+    Singing the Jumbly Chorus still
+    As he sate all day on the grassy hill,--
+        "_Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
+          Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve_."
+
+    But when the sun was low in the West,
+        The Dong arose and said,--
+    "What little sense I once possessed
+        Has quite gone out of my head!"
+    And since that day he wanders still
+    By lake and forest, marsh and hill,
+    Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain,
+    Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!
+    For ever I'll seek by lake and shore
+    Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!"
+
+        Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,
+        Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks;
+        And because by night he could not see,
+        He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree
+          On the flowery plain that grows.
+          And he wove him a wondrous Nose,--
+        A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!
+
+    Of vast proportions and painted red,
+    And tied with cords to the back of his head.
+        In a hollow rounded space it ended
+        With a luminous Lamp within suspended,
+            All fenced about
+            With a bandage stout
+            To prevent the wind from blowing it out;
+        And with holes all round to send the light
+        In gleaming rays on the dismal night
+
+    And now each night, and all night long,
+    Over those plains still roams the Dong;
+    And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe
+    You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,
+    While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,
+    To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;
+    Lonely and wild, all night he goes,--
+    The Dong with a luminous Nose!
+    And all who watch at the midnight hour,
+    From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,
+    Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,
+    Moving along through the dreary night,--
+       "This is the hour when forth he goes,
+        The Dong with a luminous Nose!
+        Yonder, over the plain he goes,--
+            He goes!
+            He goes,--
+        The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
+
+
+
+
+THE TWO OLD BACHELORS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Two old Bachelors were living in one house;
+One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.
+Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,--
+"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house,
+Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,
+And what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money?
+And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner,
+But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?"
+
+Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,--
+"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'!
+If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;
+But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!"
+
+Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town
+And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down;
+They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found
+In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round.
+
+But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north,
+And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;
+And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,--
+An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page.
+Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all studious as he sits,--
+And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits!
+Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),--
+When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps."
+
+Those two old Bachelors without loss of time
+The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb;
+And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook,
+They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book.
+
+"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in!
+We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!"
+
+But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book,
+At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;
+And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,--
+At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town;
+And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want
+                                                          of Stuffin'),
+The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin.
+
+They left their home in silence by the once convivial door;
+And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more.
+
+
+[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans]
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+THE PELICAN CHORUS.
+
+    King and Queen of the Pelicans we;
+     No other Birds so grand we see!
+    None but we have feet like fins!
+    With lovely leathery throats and chins!
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still
+
+    We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.
+    By night we sleep on the cliffs above;
+    By day we fish, and at eve we stand
+    On long bare islands of yellow sand.
+    And when the sun sinks slowly down,
+    And the great rock walls grow dark and brown,
+
+    Where the purple river rolls fast and dim
+    And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,
+    Wing to wing we dance around,
+    Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound,
+    Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;
+    And this is the song we nightly snort,--
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    Last year came out our Daughter Dell,
+    And all the Birds received her well.
+    To do her honor a feast we made
+    For every bird that can swim or wade,--
+    Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,
+    Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,
+    Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,
+    Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:
+    Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!
+    They ate and drank and danced all night,
+    And echoing back from the rocks you heard
+    Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,--
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    Yes, they came; and among the rest
+    The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.
+    Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float
+    Between the ends of his blue dress-coat;
+    With pea-green trowsers all so neat,
+    And a delicate frill to hide his feet
+    (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows
+    He has got no webs between his toes).
+
+    As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,
+    In violent love that Crane King fell,--
+    On seeing her waddling form so fair,
+    With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair.
+    And before the end of the next long day
+    Our Dell had given her heart away;
+    For the King of the Cranes had won that heart
+    With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.
+    She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,
+    Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;
+    And away they flew in a gathering crowd
+    Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud.
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    And far away in the twilight sky
+    We heard them singing a lessening cry,--
+    Farther and farther, till out of sight,
+    And we stood alone in the silent night!
+    Often since, in the nights of June,
+    We sit on the sand and watch the moon,--
+
+    She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain,
+    And we probably never shall meet again!
+    Oft, in the long still nights of June,
+    We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,--
+    She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore.
+    And we probably never shall see her more.
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+[NOTE.--The Air of this and the following Song by Edward Lear; the
+Arrangement for the Piano by Professor Pomè, of San Remo, Italy.]
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Yonghy Bonghy Bò]
+
+
+
+THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BÒ.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    On the Coast of Coromandel
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          In the middle of the woods
+      Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    Two old chairs, and half a candle,
+    One old jug without a handle,--
+          These were all his worldly goods:
+          In the middle of the woods,
+          These were all the worldly goods
+      Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bò.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Once, among the Bong-trees walking
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          To a little heap of stones
+      Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    There he heard a Lady talking,
+    To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,--
+        "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!
+          On that little heap of stones
+          Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+   "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!
+         Sitting where the pumpkins blow,
+           Will you come and be my wife?"
+       Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+   "I am tired of living singly--
+    On this coast so wild and shingly,--
+          I'm a-weary of my life;
+          If you'll come and be my wife,
+          Quite serene would be my life!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    "On this Coast of Coromandel
+         Shrimps and watercresses grow,
+           Prawns are plentiful and cheap,"
+       Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+   "You shall have my chairs and candle,
+    And my jug without a handle!
+          Gaze upon the rolling deep
+         (Fish is plentiful and cheap);
+          As the sea, my love is deep!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Lady Jingly answered sadly,
+         And her tears began to flow,--
+          "Your proposal comes too late,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+    I would be your wife most gladly!"
+    (Here she twirled her fingers madly,)
+         "But in England I've a mate!
+          Yes! you've asked me far too late,
+          For in England I've a mate,
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+   "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,--
+         Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.)
+           Dorking fowls delights to send,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+    Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle,
+    And your jug without a handle,--
+          I can merely be your friend!
+          Should my Jones more Dorkings send,
+          I will give you three, my friend!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bò!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+
+
+                    VII.
+
+   "Though you've such a tiny body,
+         And your head so large doth grow,--
+           Though your hat may blow away,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!
+    Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy,
+    Yet I wish that I could modi-
+          fy the words I needs must say!
+          Will you please to go away?
+          That is all I have to say,
+      Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bò!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!"
+
+
+                    VIII.
+
+    Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle,
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          To the calm and silent sea
+       Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle,
+    Lay a large and lively Turtle.
+         "You're the Cove," he said, "for me;
+          On your back beyond the sea,
+          Turtle, you shall carry me!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    IX.
+
+    Through the silent-roaring ocean
+        Did the Turtle swiftly go;
+          Holding fast upon his shell
+      Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    With a sad primaeval motion
+    Towards the sunset isles of Boshen
+          Still the Turtle bore him well.
+          Holding fast upon his shell,
+         "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"
+      Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+      Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+                    X.
+
+    From the Coast of Coromandel
+        Did that Lady never go;
+          On that heap of stones she mourns
+      For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+    On that Coast of Coromandel,
+    In his jug without a handle
+        Still she weeps, and daily moans;
+        On that little heap of stones
+        To her Dorking Hens she moans,
+          For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,
+          For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.
+
+
+
+
+THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes
+        Had once as many as we;
+    When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;"
+        He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!"
+    And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink
+    Lavender water tinged with pink;
+    For she said, "The World in general knows
+    There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!"
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes,
+        Swam across the Bristol Channel;
+    But before he set out he wrapped his nose
+        In a piece of scarlet flannel.
+    For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm
+    Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;
+    And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes
+    Are safe--provided he minds his nose."
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    The Pobble swam fast and well,
+        And when boats or ships came near him,
+    He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell
+        So that all the world could hear him.
+    And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,
+    When they saw him nearing the further side,--
+   "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's
+    Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    But before he touched the shore,--
+        The shore of the Bristol Channel,
+    A sea-green Porpoise carried away
+        His wrapper of scarlet flannel.
+    And when he came to observe his feet,
+    Formerly garnished with toes so neat,
+    His face at once became forlorn
+    On perceiving that all his toes were gone!
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    And nobody ever knew,
+        From that dark day to the present,
+    Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,
+        In a manner so far from pleasant.
+    Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray,
+    Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,
+    Nobody knew; and nobody knows
+    How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes
+        Was placed in a friendly Bark,
+    And they rowed him back, and carried him up
+        To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.
+    And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,
+    Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;
+    And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,
+    That Pobbles are happier without their toes."
+
+
+
+
+THE NEW VESTMENTS.
+
+    There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,
+    Who invented a purely original dress;
+    And when it was perfectly made and complete,
+    He opened the door and walked into the street.
+
+    By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,
+    In the middle of which he inserted his head;
+    His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,
+    The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;
+    His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;
+    His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;
+    His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;
+    His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;
+    His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,
+    And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;
+    And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,
+    A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.
+
+    He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,
+    Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;
+    And from every long street and dark lane in the town
+    Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.
+    Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;
+    Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;
+    Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,
+    And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;
+    An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his
+    Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;
+    And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,
+    Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.
+    He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,
+    For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:
+    They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;
+    They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;
+    And now from the housetops with screechings descend
+    Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end:
+    They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,
+    When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;
+    They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,
+    And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;
+    They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,--
+    Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.
+
+    And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,
+   "I will not wear a similar dress any more,
+    Any more, any more, any more, never more!"
+
+
+
+
+MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS.
+
+                    I.
+
+    Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
+        Climbed to the top of a wall.
+      And they sate to watch the sunset sky,
+      And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,
+        And the Biscuit Buffalo call.
+    They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,
+    And both were as happy as happy could be,
+            Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,--
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            It has just come into my head,
+      Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!
+                        Darling Mr. Discobbolos!
+
+
+                    II.
+
+   "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,
+        Just like pieces of stone,
+      On to the thorns, or into the moat,
+      What would become of your new green coat?
+        And might you not break a bone?
+    It never occurred to me before,
+    That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"
+            And Mrs. Discobbolos said,
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            What put it into your head
+      To climb up this wall, my own
+                        Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    Mr. Discobbolos answered,
+       "At first it gave me pain,
+      And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink
+      When your exclamation made me think
+        We might never get down again!
+    But now I believe it is wiser far
+    To remain for ever just where we are."
+            And Mr. Discobbolos said,
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            It has just come into my head
+      We shall never go down again,
+                        Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
+        Stood up and began to sing,--
+     "Far away from hurry and strife
+      Here we will pass the rest of life,
+        Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!
+    We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,
+    No tables nor carpets nor household cares;
+            From worry of life we've fled;
+            Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            There is no more trouble ahead,
+      Sorrow or any such thing,
+                        For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"
+
+
+
+
+THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
+        The Quangle Wangle sat,
+    But his face you could not see,
+        On account of his Beaver Hat.
+    For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,
+    With ribbons and bibbons on every side,
+    And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,
+    So that nobody ever could see the face
+            Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    The Quangle Wangle said
+        To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
+    "Jam, and jelly, and bread
+        Are the best of food for me!
+    But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree
+    The plainer than ever it seems to me
+    That very few people come this way
+    And that life on the whole is far from gay!"
+            Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    But there came to the Crumpetty Tree
+        Mr. and Mrs. Canary;
+    And they said, "Did ever you see
+        Any spot so charmingly airy?
+    May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?
+    Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
+    O please let us come and build a nest
+    Of whatever material suits you best,
+            Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree
+        Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;
+    The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,
+        The Frog and the Fimble Fowl
+    (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);
+    And all of them said, "We humbly beg
+    We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,--
+    Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
+       Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    And the Golden Grouse came there,
+        And the Pobble who has no toes,
+    And the small Olympian bear,
+        And the Dong with a luminous nose.
+    And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,
+    And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,
+    And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,--
+    All came and built on the lovely Hat
+      Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+                    VI.
+
+    And the Quangle Wangle said
+        To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
+    "When all these creatures move
+        What a wonderful noise there'll be!"
+    And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon
+    They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,
+    On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,
+    And all were as happy as happy could be,
+      With the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+
+
+THE CUMMERBUND.
+An Indian Poem.
+
+                    I.
+
+She sate upon her Dobie,
+    To watch the Evening Star,
+And all the Punkahs, as they passed,
+    Cried, "My! how fair you are!"
+Around her bower, with quivering leaves,
+    The tall Kamsamahs grew,
+And Kitmutgars in wild festoons
+    Hung down from Tchokis blue.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+Below her home the river rolled
+    With soft meloobious sound,
+Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam,
+    In myriads circling round.
+Above, on tallest trees remote
+    Green Ayahs perched alone,
+And all night long the Mussak moan'd
+    Its melancholy tone.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+And where the purple Nullahs threw
+    Their branches far and wide,
+And silvery Goreewallahs flew
+    In silence, side by side,
+The little Bheesties' twittering cry
+    Rose on the flagrant air,
+And oft the angry Jampan howled
+    Deep in his hateful lair.
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+She sate upon her Dobie,
+    She heard the Nimmak hum,
+When all at once a cry arose,
+    "The Cummerbund is come!"
+In vain she fled: with open jaws
+    The angry monster followed,
+And so (before assistance came)
+    That Lady Fair was swollowed.
+
+
+                    V.
+
+They sought in vain for even a bone
+    Respectfully to bury;
+They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!"
+    (And Echo answered, "Very.")
+They nailed her Dobie to the wall,
+    Where last her form was seen,
+And underneath they wrote these words,
+    In yellow, blue, and green:
+"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!
+    Nor sit out late at night,
+Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,
+    And swollow you outright."
+
+
+NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874.
+
+
+
+
+THE AKOND OF SWAT.
+
+
+    Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT?
+    Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?
+    Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,             or SQUAT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
+    Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,             or HOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,
+    And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,          or TROT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?
+    Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,          or a COT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
+    Does he cross his T's and finish his I's              with a DOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Can he write a letter concisely clear
+    Without a speck or a smudge or smear                    or BLOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Do his people like him extremely well?
+    Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,                   or PLOT,
+                                                    At the Akond of Swat?
+
+    If he catches them then, either old or young,
+    Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,            or _shot_,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Do his people prig in the lanes or park?
+    Or even at times, when days are dark,                   GAROTTE?
+                                                     O the Akond of Swat!
+
+    Does he study the wants of his own dominion?
+    Or doesn't he care for public opinion                    a JOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    To amuse his mind do his people show him
+    Pictures, or any one's last new poem,                    or WHAT,
+                                                   For the Akond of Swat?
+
+    At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,
+    Do they bring him only a few small cakes,               or a LOT,
+                                                   For the Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?
+    Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,      or a DOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like to lie on his back in a boat
+    Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,            SHALLOTT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?
+    Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,           or a SCOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?
+    Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,            or a GROTT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
+    Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?              or a POT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,
+    When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,            or ROT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,
+    And tie it neat in a bow with ends,                    or a KNOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
+    When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,          or NOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
+    Does he sail about on an inland lake,                  in a YACHT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
+    Who or which or why or what
+                                                    Is the Akond of Swat!
+
+
+NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_.
+The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the
+monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia.]
+
+[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.]
+
+[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida.]
+
+[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica.]
+
+[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice.]
+
+[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum.]
+
+[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa.]
+
+[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyöides.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE ALPHABETS.
+
+
+                     A
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    A was an Area Arch
+        Where washerwomen sat;
+    They made a lot of lovely starch
+        To starch Papa's Cravat.
+
+
+                     B
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    B was a Bottle blue,
+        Which was not very small;
+    Papa he filled it full of beer,
+        And then he drank it all.
+
+
+                     C
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    C was Papa's gray Cat,
+        Who caught a squeaky Mouse;
+    She pulled him by his twirly tail
+        All about the house.
+
+
+                     D
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    D was Papa's white Duck,
+        Who had a curly tail;
+    One day it ate a great fat frog,
+        Besides a leetle snail.
+
+
+                     E
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    E was a little Egg,
+        Upon the breakfast table;
+    Papa came in and ate it up
+        As fast as he was able.
+
+
+                     F
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    F was a little Fish.
+        Cook in the river took it
+    Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!
+        And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"
+
+
+                     G
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    G was Papa's new Gun;
+        He put it in a box;
+    And then he went and bought a bun,
+        And walked about the Docks.
+
+
+                     H
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    H was Papa's new Hat;
+        He wore it on his head;
+    Outside it was completely black,
+        But inside it was red.
+
+
+                     I
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    I was an Inkstand new,
+        Papa he likes to use it;
+    He keeps it in his pocket now,
+        For fear that he should lose it.
+
+
+                     J
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    J was some Apple Jam,
+        Of which Papa ate part;
+    But all the rest he took away
+        And stuffed into a tart.
+
+
+                     K
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    K was a great new Kite;
+        Papa he saw it fly
+    Above a thousand chimney pots,
+        And all about the sky.
+
+
+                     L
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    L was a fine new Lamp;
+        But when the wick was lit,
+    Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!
+        I cannot read a bit!"
+
+
+                     M
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    M was a dish of mince;
+        It looked so good to eat!
+    Papa, he quickly ate it up,
+        And said, "This is a treat!"
+
+
+                     N
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    N was a Nut that grew
+        High up upon a tree;
+    Papa, who could not reach it, said,
+        "That's _much_ too high for me!"
+
+
+                     O
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    O was an Owl who flew
+        All in the dark away,
+    Papa said, "What an owl you are!
+        Why don't you fly by day?"
+
+                     P
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    P was a little Pig,
+        Went out to take a walk;
+    Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,
+        He'd all turn into Pork!"
+
+
+                     Q
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a Quince that hung
+        Upon a garden tree;
+    Papa he brought it with him home,
+        And ate it with his tea.
+
+
+                     R
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    R was a Railway Rug
+        Extremely large and warm;
+    Papa he wrapped it round his head,
+        In a most dreadful storm.
+
+
+                     S
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    S was Papa's new Stick,
+        Papa's new thumping Stick,
+    To thump extremely wicked boys,
+        Because it was so thick.
+
+
+                     T
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    T was a tumbler full
+        Of Punch all hot and good;
+    Papa he drank it up, when in
+        The middle of a wood.
+
+
+                     U
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    U was a silver urn,
+        Full of hot scalding water;
+    Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,
+        I'd give it to my daughter!"
+
+
+                     V
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    V was a Villain; once
+        He stole a piece of beef.
+    Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!
+        That Villain is a Thief!"
+
+
+                     W
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    W was a Watch of Gold:
+        It told the time of day,
+    So that Papa knew when to come,
+        And when to go away.
+
+
+                     X
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes, whom
+        Papa much wished to know;
+    But this he could not do, because
+        Xerxes died long ago.
+
+
+                     Y
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a Youth, who kicked
+        And screamed and cried like mad;
+    Papa he said, "Your conduct is
+        Abominably bad!"
+
+
+                     Z
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Z was a Zebra striped
+        And streaked with lines of black;
+    Papa said once, he thought he'd like
+        A ride upon his back.
+
+
+
+
+ALPHABET, No. 6.
+
+    A tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood,
+
+    B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!"
+
+    C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm."
+
+    D said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm."
+
+    E said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well."
+
+    F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell."
+
+    G said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold."
+
+    H said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold."
+
+    I said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon."
+
+    J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!"
+
+    K said, "A Kangaroo is here,--this picture let him see."
+
+    L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea."
+
+    M said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction."
+
+    N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction."
+
+    O said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink."
+
+    P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think."
+
+    Q said, "A Quince I recommend,--a Quince, or else a Quail."
+
+    R said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail."
+
+    S said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!"
+
+    T said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!"
+
+    U said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!"
+
+    V said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!"
+
+    W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!"
+
+    X said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!"
+
+    Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!"
+
+    Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!
+             We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little
+                 master!
+             We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad
+                 disaster!"
+
+
+
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+<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, Nonsense Books, by Edward Lear</h1>

+<pre>

+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with

+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or

+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included

+with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre>

+<p>Title: Nonsense Books</p>

+<p>Author: Edward Lear</p>

+<p>Release Date: October 8, 2004  [eBook #13650]</p>

+<p>Language: English</p>

+<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p>

+<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NONSENSE BOOKS***</p>

+<br /><br /><h3>E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney,<br />

+                A. Deubelbeiss, Stan Goodman,<br />

+                and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders</h3><br /><br />

+<div class="thecover" id="nonsensebooks">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" id="thecover">

+		<tr align="center">

+			<td align="center" valign="top" width="40%">

+				<h1>NONSENSE BOOKS</h1>

+				<h2>By Edward Lear.</h2>

+				<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0">

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center" valign="top" width="100%">

+							<img src="images/383.gif" alt="Nonsense Books" />

+							<p align="center">With all the Original Illustrations.<br />

+							</p>

+							<h2>1894.</h2>

+							<p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book1.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book1_t.gif" alt="A Book of Nonsense" /></a> <a href="images/bookcovers/book2.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book2_t.gif" alt="Nonsense Songs, Stories, etc" /></a> <a href="images/bookcovers/book3.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book3_t.gif" alt="More Nonsense Pictures, etc." /></a> <a href="images/bookcovers/book4.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" /></a><br />

+							<b>1894 Covers&#8212;</b> Click for larger versions.

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+				</table>

+			</td>

+			<td align="center" valign="middle">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page003" id="page003" title="003"></a>

+				<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="middle">

+							<ul class="tableofcontents" id="collectioncontents">

+								<li><a href="#nonsensebooks"><b>Nonsense Books</b></a>

+									<ul>

+										<li>"<a href="#pleasant">How Pleasant to Know Mr. Lear</a>"</li>

+										<li><a href="#introduction">Introduction</a></li>

+										<li><b>I.</b> <a href="#book1" id="cont1"><b>A Book of Nonsense</b></a>.

+											<ul>

+												<li><a href="#dedication">Dedication</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#rhymes">Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures</a></li>

+											</ul>

+										</li>

+										<li><b>II.</b> <a href="#book2" id="cont2"><b>Nonsense Songs, Stories, Botany, and Alphabets</b></a>.

+											<ul>

+												<li><a href="#songs">Nonsense Songs</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#stories">Nonsense Stories</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#botany">Nonsense Botany</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#alphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a></li>

+											</ul>

+										</li>

+										<li><b>III.</b> <a href="#book3" id="cont3"><b>More Nonsense Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc</b></a>.

+											<ul>

+												<li><a href="#introduction3">Introduction</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#botany2">Nonsense Botany</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#rhymes2">One Hundred Nonsense Pictures and Rhymes</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#alphabet4">Twenty-six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures</a></li>

+											</ul>

+										</li>

+										<li><b>IV.</b> <a href="#book4" id="cont4"><b>Laughable Lyrics: A Fresh Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, etc</b></a>.

+											<ul>

+												<li><a href="#laughable">Laughable Lyrics.</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#botany3">Nonsense Botany</a></li>

+												<li><a href="#alphabets2">Nonsense Alphabets</a></li>

+											</ul>

+										</li>

+									</ul>

+								</li>

+								<li><a href="#indices"><b>Index</b></a> <span class="smaller">(added 2004)</span>

+									<ul>

+										<li><a href="#indexfirstlines">By First Lines</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#indexalphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#indexbotany">Nonsense Botanies</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#indexpoems">Nonsense Songs and Stories</a></li>

+									</ul>

+								</li>

+							</ul>

+							<p class="note" align="left"><b>PUBLISHERS' NOTICE:</b><br />

+							The first "<a href="#cont1">Book of Nonsense</a>" was published in

+							1846. Three other volumes,&#8212;"<a href="#cont2">Nonsense Songs,

+							Stories, etc.</a>," published in 1871; "<a href="#cont3">More Nonsense

+							Pictures, etc.</a>," in 1872; and "<a href="#cont4">Laughable Lyrics: A

+							Fresh Book of Nonsense, etc.</a>," in 1877,&#8212;comprise

+							all the "Nonsense Books" written by Mr. Lear.

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page005" id="page005" title="005"></a>

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+				</table>

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+		<tr>

+			<td align="left">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page004" id="page004" title="004"></a>

+				<blockquote class="smaller">

+					<i>Surely the most beneficent and innocent of all books

+					yet produced is the "Book of Nonsense," with its corollary

+					carols, inimitable and refreshing, and perfect in rhythm.

+					I really don't know any author to whom I am half so

+					grateful for my idle self as Edward Lear. I shall put

+					him first of my hundred authors</i>.

+				</blockquote>

+				<p class="i10">

+				<span class="smaller"><b>&#8212;JOHN RUSKIN</b>,<br />

+				<i>In the "List of the Best Hundred Authors."</i></span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="smaller" align="center">

+				<img src="images/002.gif" alt="Qui Legit Regit." /><br />

+				</p>

+

+			</td>

+			<td align="center" valign="top">

+				<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="300">

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<img src="images/001.jpg" alt="Edward Lear. Engraved by Andrew From a Photograph Taken In San Remo, by Roncarolo." />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="smaller"><b>EDWARD LEAR</b><br />

+							Engraved by Andrew From a Photograph Taken In San Remo, by Roncarolo.</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+				</table>

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">

+		<tr>

+			<td class="learstrip">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+</div>

+<div class="book" id="pleasant">

+	<hr />

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page006" id="page006" title="006"></a>

+	<p>The following lines by Mr. Lear were written for a

+	young lady of his acquaintance, who had quoted to

+	him the words of a young lady not of his acquaintance,</p>

+	<h1>"HOW PLEASANT TO KNOW MR. LEAR!"</h1>

+	<br />

+	<br />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0">

+		<tr>

+			<td>

+				<p>

+				"How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"<br />

+				<span class="i2">Who has written such volumes of stuff!</span>

+				Some think him ill-tempered and queer,<br />

+				<span class="i2">But a few think him pleasant enough.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				His mind is concrete and fastidious,<br />

+				<span class="i2">His nose is remarkably big;</span>

+				His visage is more or less hideous,<br />

+				<span class="i2">His beard it resembles a wig.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				He has ears, and two eyes, and ten fingers,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Leastways if you reckon two thumbs;</span>

+				Long ago he was one of the singers,<br />

+				<span class="i2">But now he is one of the dumbs.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				He sits in a beautiful parlor,<br />

+				<span class="i2">With hundreds of books on the wall;</span>

+				He drinks a great deal of Marsala,<br />

+				<span class="i2">But never gets tipsy at all.</span>

+				</p>

+			</td>

+			<td valign="top" align="left">

+			<img src="images/pleasant.gif" alt="How Pleasant to Know Mr. Lear!" />

+			</td>

+			<td>

+				<p>

+				He has many friends, lay men and clerical,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Old Foss is the name of his cat;</span>

+				His body is perfectly spherical,<br />

+				<span class="i2">He weareth a runcible hat.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				When he walks in waterproof white,<br />

+				<span class="i2">The children run after him so!</span>

+				Calling out, "He's come out in his night-<br />

+				<span class="i2">Gown, that crazy old Englishman, oh!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				He weeps by the side of the ocean,<br />

+				<span class="i2">He weeps on the top of the hill;</span>

+				He purchases pancakes and lotion,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And chocolate shrimps from the mill.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				He reads, but he cannot speak, Spanish,<br />

+				<span class="i2">He cannot abide ginger beer:</span>

+				Ere the days of his pilgrimage vanish,<br />

+				<span class="i2">How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!</span>

+				</p>

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<br />

+	<br />

+	<br />

+</div>

+<a class="pagenumber" name="page007" id="page007" title="007"></a>

+<div class="book" id="introduction">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">

+		<tr>

+			<td class="learstrip">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<h1>INTRODUCTION.</h1>

+	<hr />
+
+	<p>

+	Edward Lear, the artist, Author of "Journals

+	of a Landscape Painter" in various out-of-the-way

+	countries, and of the delightful "Books of Nonsense,"

+	which have amused successive generations of children,

+	died on Sunday, January 29, 1888, at San Remo, Italy,

+	where he had lived for twenty years. Few names

+	could evoke a wider expression of passing regret at

+	their appearance in the obituary column; for until his

+	health began to fail he was known to an immense and

+	almost a cosmopolitan circle of acquaintance, and popular

+	wherever he was known. Fewer still could call

+	up in the minds of intimate friends a deeper and more

+	enduring feeling of sorrow for personal loss, mingled

+	with the pleasantest of memories; for it was impossible

+	to know him thoroughly and not to love him. London,

+	Rome, the Mediterranean countries generally, Ceylon

+	and India, are still all dotted with survivors among

+	his generation who will mourn for him affectionately,

+	although his latter years were spent in comparatively

+	close retirement. He was a man of striking

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page008" id="page008" title="008"></a>

+	nobility of nature, fearless, independent, energetic,

+	given to forming for himself strong opinions, often hastily,

+	sometimes bitterly; not always strong or sound in

+	judgment, but always seeking after truth in every matter,

+	and following it as he understood it in scorn of

+	consequence; utterly unselfish, devoted to his friends,

+	generous even to extravagance towards any one who

+	had ever been connected with his fortunes or his

+	travels; playful, light-hearted, witty, and humorous,

+	but not without those occasional fits of black depression

+	and nervous irritability to which such temperaments

+	are liable.

+	</p>

+	<p>

+	Great and varied as the merits of his pictures are,

+	Lear hardly succeeded in achieving any great popularity

+	as a landscape-painter. His work was frequently

+	done on private commission, and he rarely sent in pictures

+	for the Academy or other exhibitions. His larger

+	and more highly finished landscapes were unequal in

+	technical perfection,&#8212;sometimes harsh or cold in

+	color, or stiff in composition; sometimes full of imagination,

+	at others literal and prosaic,&#8212;but always

+	impressive reproductions of interesting or peculiar scenery.

+	In later years he used in conversation to qualify

+	himself as a "topographical artist;" and the definition

+	was true, though not exhaustive. He had an intuitive

+	and a perfectly trained eye for the character and

+	beauty of distant mountain lines, the solemnity of rocky

+	gorges, the majesty of a single mountain rising from

+	a base of plain or sea; and he was equally exact in

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page009" id="page009" title="009"></a>

+	rendering the true forms of the middle distances and

+	the specialties of foreground detail belonging to the

+	various lands through which he had wandered as a

+	sketcher. Some of his pictures show a mastery which

+	has rarely been equalled over the difficulties of painting

+	an immense plain as seen from a height, reaching

+	straight away from the eye of the spectator until it is

+	lost in a dim horizon. Sir Roderick Murchison used

+	to say that he always understood the geological peculiarities

+	of a country he had only studied in Lear's

+	sketches. The compliment was thoroughly justified;

+	and it is not every landscape-painter to whom it could

+	honestly be paid.

+	</p>

+	<p>

+	The history of Lear's choice of a career was a curious

+	one. He was the youngest of twenty-one children,

+	and, through a family mischance, was thrown entirely

+	on the limited resources of an elderly sister at a very

+	early age. As a boy he had always dabbled in colors

+	for his own amusement, and had been given to poring

+	over the ordinary boys' books upon natural history.

+	It occurred to him to try to turn his infant talents to

+	account; and he painted upon cardboard a couple of

+	birds in the style which the older among us remember

+	as having been called Oriental tinting, took them to a

+	small shop, and sold them for fourpence. The kindness

+	of friends, to whom he was ever grateful, gave

+	him the opportunity of more serious and more remunerative

+	study, and he became a patient and accurate

+	zo&ouml;logical draughtsman. Many of the birds in the

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page010" id="page010" title="010"></a>

+	earlier volumes of Gould's magnificent folios were

+	drawn for him by Lear. A few years back there were

+	eagles alive in the Zo&ouml;logical Gardens in Regent's

+	Park to which Lear could point as old familiar friends

+	that he had drawn laboriously from claw to beak fifty

+	years before. He united with this kind of work the

+	more unpleasant occupation of drawing the curiosities

+	of disease or deformity in hospitals. One day, as he

+	was busily intent on the portrait of a bird in the Zo&ouml;logical

+	Gardens, an old gentleman came and looked

+	over his shoulder, entered into conversation, and finally

+	said to him, "You must come and draw my birds at

+	Knowsley." Lear did not know where Knowsley was,

+	or what it meant; but the old gentleman was the

+	thirteenth Earl of Derby. The successive Earls of

+	Derby have been among Lear's kindest and most generous

+	patrons. He went to Knowsley, and the drawings

+	in the "Knowsley Menagerie" (now a rare and highly-prized

+	work among book collectors) are by Lear's

+	hand. At Knowsley he became a permanent favorite;

+	and it was there that he composed in prolific succession

+	his charming and wonderful series of utterly nonsensical

+	rhymes and drawings. Lear had already begun seriously

+	to study landscape. When English winters began

+	to threaten his health, Lord Derby started a

+	subscription which enabled him to go to Rome as a

+	student and artist, and no doubt gave him recommendations

+	among Anglo-Roman society which laid the

+	foundations of a numerous <i>client&egrave;le</i>. It was in the

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page011" id="page011" title="011"></a>

+	Roman summers that Lear first began to exercise

+	the taste for pictorial wandering which grew into a

+	habit and a passion, to fill vivid and copious note-books

+	as he went, and to illustrate them by spirited and accurate

+	drawings; and his first volume of "Illustrated

+	Excursions in Italy," published in 1846, is gratefully

+	dedicated to his Knowsley patron.

+	</p>

+	<p>

+	Only those who have travelled with him could know

+	what a delightful comrade he was to men whose tastes

+	ran more or less parallel to his own. It was not everybody

+	who could travel with him; for he was so irrepressibly

+	anxious not to lose a moment of the time at

+	his disposal for gathering into his garners the beauty

+	and interest of the lands over which he journeyed, that

+	he was careless of comfort and health. Calabria, Sicily,

+	the Desert of Sinai, Egypt and Nubia, Greece and

+	Albania, Palestine, Syria, Athos, Candia, Montenegro,

+	Zag&oacute;ri (who knows now where Zag&oacute;ri is, or was?),

+	were as thoroughly explored and sketched by him as

+	the more civilized localities of Malta, Corsica, and

+	Corfu. He read insatiably before starting all the recognized

+	guide-books and histories of the country he

+	intended to draw; and his published itineraries are

+	marked by great strength and literary interest quite

+	irrespectively of the illustrations. And he had

+	his reward. It is not any ordinary journalist and

+	sketcher who could have compelled from Tennyson

+	such a tribute as lines "To E.L. on his Travels in

+	Greece":&#8212;

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page012" id="page012" title="012"></a>						</p>

+	<blockquote>

+			<p>

+			"Illyrian woodlands, echoing falls<br />

+			<span class="i2">Of water, sheets of summer glass,</span>

+			<span class="i2">The long divine Pene&iuml;an pass,</span>

+			The vast Akrokeraunian walls,

+			</p>

+			<p>

+			"Tomohrit, Athos, all things fair,<br />

+			<span class="i2">With such a pencil, such a pen,</span>

+			<span class="i2">You shadow forth to distant men,</span>

+			I read and felt that I was there."

+			</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	Lear was a man to whom, as to Tennyson's Ulysses,

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+			<p>

+			"All experience is an arch wherethrough<br />

+			Gleams that untravelled world."

+			</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	After settling at San Remo, and when he was nearly

+	sixty years old, he determined to visit India and Ceylon.

+	He started once and failed, being taken so ill at Suez

+	that he was obliged to return. The next year he succeeded,

+	and brought away some thousands of drawings

+	of the most striking views from all three Presidencies

+	and from the tropical island. His appetite for travel

+	continued to grow with what it fed upon; and although

+	he hated a long sea-voyage, he used seriously

+	to contemplate as possible a visit to relations in New

+	Zealand. It may safely, however, be averred that no

+	considerations would have tempted him to visit the

+	Arctic regions.

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+	A hard-working life, checkered by the odd adventures

+	which happen to the odd and the adventurous

+	and pass over the commonplace; a career brightened

+	by the high appreciation of unimpeachable critics;

+	lightened, till of late, by the pleasant society and good

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page013" id="page013" title="013"></a>

+	wishes of innumerable friends; saddened by the growing

+	pressure of ill health and solitude; cheered by his

+	constant trust in the love and sympathy of those who

+	knew him best, however far away,&#8212;such was the life

+	of Edward Lear.<br />

+	<span class="i20">&#8212;<i>The London Saturday Review,</i><br />

+	Feb. 4, 1888.

+	</span>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	Among the writers who have striven with varying

+	success during the last thirty or forty years to awaken

+	the merriment of the "rising generation" of the time

+	being, Mr. Edward Lear occupies the first place in

+	seniority, if not in merit. The parent of modern nonsense-writers,

+	he is distinguished from all his followers

+	and imitators by the superior consistency with which

+	he has adhered to his aim,&#8212;that of amusing his readers

+	by fantastic absurdities, as void of vulgarity or

+	cynicism as they are incapable of being made to harbor

+	any symbolical meaning. He "never deviates into

+	sense;" but those who appreciate him never feel the

+	need of such deviation. He has a genius for coining

+	absurd names and words, which, even when they are

+	suggested by the exigencies of his metre, have a ludicrous

+	appropriateness to the matter in hand. His

+	verse is, with the exception of a certain number

+	of cockney rhymes, wonderfully flowing and even

+	melodious&#8212;or, as he would say, <i>meloobious</i>&#8212; while

+	to all these qualifications for his task must finally

+	be added the happy gift of pictorial expression, enabling

+	him to double, nay, often to quadruple, the

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page014" id="page014" title="014"></a>

+	laughable effect of his text by an inexhaustible profusion

+	of the quaintest designs. Generally speaking,

+	these designs are, as it were, an idealization of the

+	efforts of a clever child; but now and then&#8212;as in the

+	case of the nonsense-botany&#8212;Mr. Lear reminds us

+	what a genuine and graceful artist he really is. The

+	advantage to a humorist of being able to illustrate his

+	own text has been shown in the case of Thackeray and

+	Mr. W. S. Gilbert, to mention two familiar examples;

+	but in no other instance of such a combination have we

+	discovered such geniality as is to be found in the nonsense-pictures

+	of Mr. Lear. We have spoken above of

+	the melodiousness of Mr. Lear's verses, a quality which

+	renders them excellently suitable for musical setting,

+	and which has not escaped the notice of the author

+	himself. We have also heard effective arrangements,

+	presumably by other composers, of the adventures of

+	the Table and the Chair, and of the cruise of the Owl

+	and the Pussy-cat,&#8212;the latter introduced into the

+	"drawing-room entertainment" of one of the followers

+	of John Parry. Indeed, in these days of adaptations,

+	it is to be wondered at that no enterprising librettist

+	has attempted to build a children's comic opera out of

+	the materials supplied in the four books with which

+	we are now concerned. The first of these, originally

+	published in 1846, and brought out in an enlarged form

+	in 1863, is exclusively devoted to nonsense-verses of one

+	type. Mr. Lear is careful to disclaim the credit of

+	having created this type, for he tells us in the preface

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page015" id="page015" title="015"></a>

+	to his third book that "the lines beginning, 'There was

+	an old man of Tobago,' were suggested to me by a

+	valued friend, as a form of verse leading itself to limitless

+	variety for Rhymes and Pictures." Dismissing the

+	further question of the authorship of "There was an

+	old man of Tobago," we propose to give a few specimens

+	of Mr. Lear's Protean powers as exhibited in the

+	variation of this simple type. Here, to begin with, is

+	a favorite verse, which we are very glad to have an

+	opportunity of giving, as it is often incorrectly quoted,

+	"cocks" being substituted for "owls" in the third line:

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+			<p>

+			There was an Old Man with a beard,<br />

+			Who said, 'It is just as I feared!<br />

+			Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,<br />

+			Have all built their nests in my beard!'"

+			</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	With the kindly fatalism which is the distinctive note

+	of the foregoing stanza, the sentiment of our next extract

+	is in vivid contrast:&#8212;

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"There was an Old Man in a tree,<br />

+		Who was terribly bored by a bee;<br />

+		When they said, 'Does it buzz?' he replied, 'Yes, it does!<br />

+		It's a regular brute of a Bee.'"

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	To the foregoing verse an historic interest attaches,

+	if, that is, we are right in supposing it to have inspired

+	Mr. Gilbert with his famous "Nonsense-Rhyme in

+	Blank Verse." We quote from memory:&#8212;

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"There was an Old Man of St. Bees,<br />

+		Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.<br />

+		When they asked, 'Does it hurt?' he replied, 'No, it doesn't,<br />

+		But I thought all the while 'twas a Hornet!'"

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page016" id="page016" title="016"></a>

+	Passing over the lines referring to the "Young Person"

+	of Crete to whom the epithet "ombliferous" is applied,

+	we may be pardoned&#8212;on the ground of the geographical

+	proximity of the two countries named&#8212;for quoting

+	together two stanzas which in reality are separated

+	by a good many pages:&#8212;

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"There was a Young Lady of Norway,<br />

+		Who casually sat in a doorway;<br />

+		When the doors queezed her flat, she exclaimed, 'What of that?'<br />

+		This courageous young person of Norway."

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"There was a Young Lady of Sweden,<br />

+		Who went by the slow train to Weedon;<br />

+		When they cried, 'Weedon Station!' she made no observation,<br />

+		But thought she should go back to Sweden."

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	A noticeable feature about this first book, and one

+	which we think is peculiar to it, is the harsh treatment

+	which the eccentricities of the inhabitants of certain

+	towns appear to have met with at the hands of

+	their fellow-residents. No less than three people are

+	"smashed,"&#8212;the Old Man of Whitehaven "who

+	danced a quadrille with a Raven;" the Old Person of

+	Buda; and the Old Man with a gong "who bumped at

+	it all the day long," though in the last-named case we

+	admit that there was considerable provocation. Before

+	quitting the first "Nonsense-Book," we would point

+	out that it contains one or two forms that are interesting;

+	for instance, "scroobious," which we take

+	to be a Portmanteau word, and "spickle-speckled,"

+	a favorite form of reduplication with Mr. Lear, and

+	of which the best specimen occurs in his last book,

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page017" id="page017" title="017"></a>

+	"He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled the bell." The second

+	book, published in 1871, shows Mr. Lear in the

+	maturity of sweet desipience, and will perhaps remain

+	the favorite volume of the four to grown-up readers.

+	The nonsense-songs are all good, and "The Story of

+	the Four little Children who went Round the World"

+	is the most exquisite piece of imaginative absurdity

+	that the present writer is acquainted with. But before

+	coming to that, let us quote a few lines from "The

+	Jumblies," who, as all the world knows, went to sea in

+	a sieve:&#8212;

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		<span class="i2">"They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,</span>

+		<span class="i2">To a land all covered with trees.</span>

+		And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart,<br />

+		And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart,<br />

+		<span class="i2">And a hive of silvery Bees.</span>

+		And they bought a Pig, and some green Jack-Daws,<br />

+		And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws,<br />

+		And forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree,<br />

+		<span class="i2">And no end of Stilton Cheese.</span>

+		<i><span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+		<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live.</span>

+		<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span>

+		<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span></i>

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		And in twenty years they all came back,<br />

+		<span class="i2">In twenty years or more,</span>

+		And every one said, 'How tall they've grown!<br />

+		For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,<br />

+		<span class="i2">And the hills of the Chankly Bore.'"</span>

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	From the pedestrian excursion of the Table and the

+	Chair, we cannot resist making a brief quotation,

+	though in this, as in every case, the inability to quote

+	the drawings also is a sad drawback:&#8212;

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page018" id="page018" title="018"></a>						</p>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"So they both went slowly down,<br />

+		And walked about the town,<br />

+		With a cheerful bumpy sound,<br />

+		As they toddled round and round.<br />

+		And everybody cried,<br />

+		As they hastened to their side,<br />

+		'See, the Table and the Chair<br />

+		Have come out to take the air!'

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"But in going down an alley<br />

+		To a castle in a valley,<br />

+		They completely lost their way,<br />

+		And wandered all the day,<br />

+		Till, to see them safely back,<br />

+		They paid a Ducky-Quack,<br />

+		And a Beetle and a Mouse,<br />

+		Who took them to their house.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"Then they whispered to each other,<br />

+		'O delightful little brother,<br />

+		What a lovely walk we've taken!<br />

+		Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!'<br />

+		So the Ducky and the leetle<br />

+		Browny-Mousy, and the Beetle<br />

+		Dined, and danced upon their heads,<br />

+		Till they toddled to their beds."

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	"The Story of the Four little Children who went

+	Round the World" follows next, and the account of

+	the manner in which they occupied themselves while

+	on shipboard may be transcribed for the benefit of

+	those unfortunate persons who have not perused the

+	original: "During the day-time Violet chiefly occupied

+	herself in putting salt-water into a churn, while

+	her three brothers churned it violently in the hope

+	it would turn into butter, which it seldom if ever

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page019" id="page019" title="019"></a>

+	did." After journeying for a time, they saw some

+	land at a distance, "and when they came to it they

+	found it was an island made of water quite surrounded

+	by earth. Besides that it was bordered by

+	evanescent isthmuses with a great Gulf-Stream running

+	about all over it, so that it was perfectly beautiful,

+	and contained only a single tree, five hundred

+	and three feet high." In a later passage, we read

+	how "by-and-by the children came to a country

+	where there were no houses, but only an incredibly

+	innumerable number of large bottles without corks,

+	and of a dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color.

+	Each of these blue bottles contained a bluebottlefly,

+	and all these interesting animals live continually

+	together in the most copious and rural harmony,

+	nor perhaps in many parts of the world is such

+	perfect and abject happiness to be found." Our last

+	quotation from this inimitable recital shall be from

+	the description of their adventure on a great plain

+	where they espied an object which "on a nearer

+	approach and on an accurately cutaneous inspection,

+	seemed to be somebody in a large white wig sitting on

+	an arm-chair made of sponge-cake and oyster-shells."

+	This turned out to be the "Co-operative Cauliflower,"

+	who, "while the whole party from the boat was gazing

+	at him with mingled affection and disgust ... suddenly

+	arose, and in a somewhat plumdomphious manner

+	hurried off towards the setting sun, his steps supported

+	by two superincumbent confidential cucumbers

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page020" id="page020" title="020"></a>

+	... till he finally disappeared on the brink of the western

+	sky in a crystal cloud of sudorific sand. So remarkable

+	a sight of course impressed the four children very

+	deeply; and they returned immediately to their boat

+	with a strong sense of undeveloped asthma and a great

+	appetite."

+	</p>

+	<p>

+	In his third book, Mr. Lear takes occasion in an

+	entertaining preface to repudiate the charge of harboring

+	any ulterior motive beyond that of "Nonsense

+	pure and absolute" in any of his verses or pictures,

+	and tells a delightful anecdote illustrative of the "persistently

+	absurd report" that the Earl of Derby was the

+	author of the first book of "Nonsense." In this volume

+	he reverts once more to the familiar form adopted in

+	his original efforts, and with little falling off. It is to

+	be remarked that the third division is styled "Twenty-Six

+	Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures," although there is

+	no more rhyme than reason in any of the set. Our

+	favorite illustrations are those of the "Scroobious

+	Snake who always wore a Hat on his Head, for fear he

+	should bite anybody," and the "Visibly Vicious Vulture

+	who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a

+	Volume bound in Vellum." In the fourth and last of

+	Mr. Lear's books, we meet not only with familiar words,

+	but personages and places,&#8212;old friends like the Jumblies,

+	the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, the Quangle Wangle,

+	the hills of the Chankly Bore, and the great Gromboolian

+	plain, as well as new creations, such as the Dong

+	with a luminous Nose, whose story is a sort of nonsense

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page021" id="page021" title="021"></a>

+	 version of the love of Nausicaa for Ulysses, only

+	that the sexes are inverted. In these verses, graceful

+	fancy is so subtly interwoven with nonsense as almost

+	to beguile us into feeling a real interest in Mr. Lear's

+	absurd creations. So again in the Pelican chorus there

+	are some charming lines:&#8212;

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		"By day we fish, and at eve we stand<br />

+		On long bare islands of yellow sand.<br />

+		And when the sun sinks slowly down,<br />

+		And the great rock-walls grow dark and brown,<br />

+		When the purple river rolls fast and dim,<br />

+		And the ivory Ibis starlike skim,<br />

+		Wing to wing we dance around," etc.

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+	<p>

+	The other nonsense-poems are all good, but we have

+	no space for further quotation, and will take leave of

+	our subject by propounding the following set of examination

+	questions which a friend who is deeply versed

+	in Mr. Lear's books has drawn up for us:&#8212;

+	</p>

+	<blockquote>

+		<p>

+		1. What do you gather from a study of Mr. Lear's works to

+		have been the prevalent characteristics of the inhabitants of

+		Gretna, Prague, Thermopylae, Wick, and Hong Kong?

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		2. State briefly what historical events are connected with

+		Ischia, Chertsey, Whitehaven, Boulak, and Jellibolee.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		3. Comment, with illustrations, upon Mr. Lear's use of the

+		following words: Runcible, propitious, dolomphious, borascible,

+		fizzgiggious, himmeltanious, tumble-dum-down, spongetaneous.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		4. Enumerate accurately all the animals who lived on the

+		Quangle Wangle's Hat, and explain how the Quangle Wangle

+		was enabled at once to enlighten his five travelling companions

+		as to the true nature of the Co-operative Cauliflower.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		5. What were the names of the five daughters of the Old

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page022" id="page022" title="022"></a>

+		Person of China, and what was the purpose for which the

+		Old Man of the Dargle purchased six barrels of Gargle?

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		6. Collect notices of King Xerxes in Mr. Lear's works, and

+		state your theory, if you have any, as to the character and

+		appearance of Nupiter Piffkin.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		7. Draw pictures of the Plum-pudding flea, and the Moppsikon

+		Floppsikon Bear, and state by whom waterproof tubs

+		were first used.

+		</p>

+		<p align="center">

+			8. "There was an old man at a station<br />

+			&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Who made a promiscuous oration."<br />

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		What bearing may we assume the foregoing couplet to have

+		upon Mr. Lear's political views?&#8212;<i>The London Spectator</i>.

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page023" id="page023" title="023"></a>

+		</p>

+	</blockquote>

+</div>

+<div class="book" id="book1">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="thecover" id="book1cover">

+		<table width="100%">

+			<tr>

+				<td align="center">

+					<h1><span class="bigger">A Book of Nonsense</span></h1>

+					<h2>by Edward Lear.</h2>

+					<p><i>With All the Original Pictures and Verses.</i></p>

+						<img src="images/003.gif" alt="A Book of Nonsense" /><br />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_intro">

+									There was an Old Derry down Derry, who loved to see little folks merry;<br />

+									<span class="i2">So he made them a Book, and with laughter they shook</span>

+									<span class="i4">At the fun of that Derry down Derry.</span>

+									</p>

+									<h4>1894</h4>

+									<p align="center">Originally published 1846</p>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page024" id="page024" title="024"></a>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td>

+						<p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book1.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book1_t.gif" alt="A Book of Nonsense" /></a><br />

+						<b>1894 Cover</b><br />Click for larger version.

+						</p>

+						<ul class="tableofcontents">

+							<li><a href="#dedication">Original Dedication</a></li>

+							<li><a href="#rhymes">Nonsense Pictures and Rhymes</a></li>

+						</ul>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+			</table>

+

+	</div>

+	<div id="dedication" class="subbook">

+		<hr />

+		<img src="images/dedication.gif" class="centeredimage" alt="To the Great-Grandchildren, Grand-Nephews, and Grand-Nieces of Edward, 13th Earl of Derby, this book of drawings snd verses (the greater part of which were originally made and composed for their parents.) is dedicated by the author, EDWARD LEAR. London, 1862." />

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="subbook" id="rhymes">

+		<h2>NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES</h2>

+		<p class="rhymemenu"><a href="#rhyme1_1">1</a> <a href="#rhyme1_2">2</a> <a href="#rhyme1_3">3</a> <a href="#rhyme1_4">4</a> <a href="#rhyme1_5">5</a> <a href="#rhyme1_6">6</a> <a href="#rhyme1_7">7</a> <a href="#rhyme1_8">8</a> <a href="#rhyme1_9">9</a> <a href="#rhyme1_10">10</a> <a href="#rhyme1_11">11</a> <a href="#rhyme1_12">12</a> <a href="#rhyme1_13">13</a> <a href="#rhyme1_14">14</a> <a href="#rhyme1_15">15</a> <a href="#rhyme1_16">16</a> <a href="#rhyme1_17">17</a> <a href="#rhyme1_18">18</a> <a href="#rhyme1_19">19</a> <a href="#rhyme1_20">20</a> <a href="#rhyme1_21">21</a> <a href="#rhyme1_22">22</a> <a href="#rhyme1_23">23</a> <a href="#rhyme1_24">24</a> <a href="#rhyme1_25">25</a> <a href="#rhyme1_26">26</a> <a href="#rhyme1_27">27</a> <a href="#rhyme1_28">28</a> <a href="#rhyme1_29">29</a> <a href="#rhyme1_30">30</a> <a href="#rhyme1_31">31</a> <a href="#rhyme1_32">32</a> <a href="#rhyme1_33">33</a> <a href="#rhyme1_34">34</a> <a href="#rhyme1_35">35</a> <a href="#rhyme1_36">36</a> <a href="#rhyme1_37">37</a> <a href="#rhyme1_38">38</a> <a href="#rhyme1_39">39</a> <a href="#rhyme1_40">40</a> <a href="#rhyme1_41">41</a> <a href="#rhyme1_42">42</a> <a href="#rhyme1_43">43</a> <a href="#rhyme1_44">44</a> <a href="#rhyme1_45">45</a> <a href="#rhyme1_46">46</a> <a href="#rhyme1_47">47</a> <a href="#rhyme1_48">48</a> <a href="#rhyme1_49">49</a> <a href="#rhyme1_50">50</a> <a href="#rhyme1_51">51</a> <a href="#rhyme1_52">52</a> <a href="#rhyme1_53">53</a> <a href="#rhyme1_54">54</a> <a href="#rhyme1_55">55</a> <a href="#rhyme1_56">56</a> <a href="#rhyme1_57">57</a> <a href="#rhyme1_58">58</a> <a href="#rhyme1_59">59</a> <a href="#rhyme1_60">60</a> <a href="#rhyme1_61">61</a> <a href="#rhyme1_62">62</a> <a href="#rhyme1_63">63</a> <a href="#rhyme1_64">64</a> <a href="#rhyme1_65">65</a> <a href="#rhyme1_66">66</a> <a href="#rhyme1_67">67</a> <a href="#rhyme1_68">68</a> <a href="#rhyme1_69">69</a> <a href="#rhyme1_70">70</a> <a href="#rhyme1_71">71</a> <a href="#rhyme1_72">72</a> <a href="#rhyme1_73">73</a> <a href="#rhyme1_74">74</a> <a href="#rhyme1_75">75</a> <a href="#rhyme1_76">76</a> <a href="#rhyme1_77">77</a> <a href="#rhyme1_78">78</a> <a href="#rhyme1_79">79</a> <a href="#rhyme1_80">80</a> <a href="#rhyme1_81">81</a> <a href="#rhyme1_82">82</a> <a href="#rhyme1_83">83</a> <a href="#rhyme1_84">84</a> <a href="#rhyme1_85">85</a> <a href="#rhyme1_86">86</a> <a href="#rhyme1_87">87</a> <a href="#rhyme1_88">88</a> <a href="#rhyme1_89">89</a> <a href="#rhyme1_90">90</a> <a href="#rhyme1_91">91</a> <a href="#rhyme1_92">92</a> <a href="#rhyme1_93">93</a> <a href="#rhyme1_94">94</a> <a href="#rhyme1_95">95</a> <a href="#rhyme1_96">96</a> <a href="#rhyme1_97">97</a> <a href="#rhyme1_98">98</a> <a href="#rhyme1_99">99</a> <a href="#rhyme1_100">100</a> <a href="#rhyme1_101">101</a> <a href="#rhyme1_102">102</a> <a href="#rhyme1_103">103</a> <a href="#rhyme1_104">104</a> <a href="#rhyme1_105">105</a> <a href="#rhyme1_106">106</a> <a href="#rhyme1_107">107</a> <a href="#rhyme1_108">108</a> <a href="#rhyme1_109">109</a> <a href="#rhyme1_110">110</a> <a href="#rhyme1_111">111</a> <a href="#rhyme1_112">112</a>

+		</p>

+		<hr />

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page025" id="page025" title="025"></a>

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="rhymegrid">

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="top" width="50%" align="center">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" width="370">

+						<tr>

+							<td>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_1">

+								<img src="images/004.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a nose,<br />

+								Who said, "If you choose to suppose<br />

+								That my nose is too long, you are certainly wrong!"<br />

+								That remarkable Man with a nose.<br />

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_2">

+								<img src="images/005.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Person of Smyrna,<br />

+								Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;<br />

+								But she seized on the Cat, and said, "Granny, burn that!<br />

+								You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page026" id="page026" title="026"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_3">

+								<img src="images/006.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man on a hill,<br />

+								Who seldom, if ever, stood still;<br />

+								He ran up and down in his Grandmother's gown,<br />

+								Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_4">

+								<img src="images/007.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Chili,<br />

+								Whose conduct was painful and silly;<br />

+								He sate on the stairs, eating apples and pears,<br />

+								That imprudent Old Person of Chili.<br />

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page027" id="page027" title="027"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_5">

+								<img src="images/008.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a gong,<br />

+								Who bumped at it all the day long;<br />

+								But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"<br />

+								So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_6">

+								<img src="images/009.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,<br />

+								Who never had more than a penny;<br />

+								He spent all that money in onions and honey,<br />

+								That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.<br />

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page028" id="page028" title="028"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_7">

+								<img src="images/010.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Columbia,<br />

+								Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;<br />

+								But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot,<br />

+								Which disgusted that man of Columbia.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_8">

+								<img src="images/011.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man in a tree,<br />

+								Who was horribly bored by a Bee;<br />

+								When they said, "Does it buzz?" he replied, "Yes, it does!<br />

+								It's a regular brute of a Bee."

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page029" id="page029" title="029"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_9">

+								<img src="images/012.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,<br />

+								Who made a remarkable curtsey;<br />

+								She twirled round and round, till she sank underground,<br />

+								Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_10">

+								<img src="images/013.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady whose chin<br />

+								Resembled the point of a pin;<br />

+								So she had it made sharp, and purchased a harp,<br />

+								And played several tunes with her chin.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page030" id="page030" title="030"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_11">

+								<img src="images/014.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a flute,&#8212;<br />

+								A "sarpint" ran into his boot!<br />

+								But he played day and night, till the "sarpint" took flight,<br />

+								And avoided that Man with a flute.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_12">

+								<img src="images/015.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Portugal,<br />

+								Whose ideas were excessively nautical;<br />

+								She climbed up a tree to examine the sea,<br />

+								But declared she would never leave Portugal.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page031" id="page031" title="031"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_13">

+								<img src="images/016.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Ischia,<br />

+								Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;<br />

+								He danced hornpipes and jigs, and ate thousands of figs,<br />

+								That lively Old Person of Ischia

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_14">

+								<img src="images/017.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Vienna,<br />

+								Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;<br />

+								When that did not agree, he took Camomile Tea,<br />

+								That nasty Old Man of Vienna.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page032" id="page032" title="032"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_15">

+									<img src="images/018.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man in a boat,<br />

+								Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"<br />

+								When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint,<br />

+								That unhappy Old Man in a boat.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_16">

+								<img src="images/019.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Buda,<br />

+								Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,<br />

+								Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.<br />

+								By smashing that Person of Buda.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page033" id="page033" title="033"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_17">

+								<img src="images/020.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Moldavia,<br />

+								Who had the most curious behavior;<br />

+								For while he was able, he slept on a table,<br />

+								That funny Old Man of Moldavia.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_18">

+								<img src="images/021.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Hurst,<br />

+								Who drank when he was not athirst;<br />

+								When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"<br />

+								That globular Person of Hurst.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page034" id="page034" title="034"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_19">

+								<img src="images/022.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Madras,<br />

+								Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;<br />

+								But the length of its ears so promoted his fears,<br />

+								That it killed that Old Man of Madras.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_20">

+								<img src="images/023.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Dover,<br />

+								Who rushed through a field of blue clover;<br />

+								But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees,<br />

+								So he very soon went back to Dover.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page035" id="page035" title="035"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_21">

+								<img src="images/024.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Leeds,<br />

+								Whose head was infested with beads;<br />

+								She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool,<br />

+								Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_22">

+								<img src="images/025.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Cadiz,<br />

+								Who was always polite to all ladies;<br />

+								But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water,<br />

+								Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page036" id="page036" title="036"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_23">

+								<img src="images/026.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Isles,<br />

+								Whose face was pervaded with smiles;<br />

+								He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle,<br />

+								That amiable Man of the Isles.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_24">

+								<img src="images/027.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Basing,<br />

+								Whose presence of mind was amazing;<br />

+								He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed,<br />

+								And escaped from the people of Basing.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page037" id="page037" title="037"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_25">

+								<img src="images/028.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man who supposed<br />

+								That the street door was partially closed;<br />

+								But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats,<br />

+								While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_26">

+								<img src="images/029.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person whose habits<br />

+								Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;<br />

+								When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green,<br />

+								Upon which he relinquished those habits.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page038" id="page038" title="038"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_27">

+								<img src="images/030.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the West,<br />

+								Who wore a pale plum-colored vest;<br />

+								When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!"<br />

+								That uneasy Old Man of the West.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_28">

+								<img src="images/031.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Marseilles,<br />

+								Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils:<br />

+								They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish,<br />

+								And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page039" id="page039" title="039"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_29">

+								<img src="images/032.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,<br />

+								Whose shoes made a horrible creaking;<br />

+								But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather,<br />

+								Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_30">

+								<img src="images/033.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady whose nose<br />

+								Was so long that it reached to her toes;<br />

+								So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady,<br />

+								To carry that wonderful nose.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page040" id="page040" title="040"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_31">

+								<img src="images/034.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Norway,<br />

+								Who casually sat in a doorway;<br />

+								When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?"<br />

+								This courageous Young Lady of Norway.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_32">

+								<img src="images/035.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Apulia,<br />

+								Whose conduct was very peculiar;<br />

+								He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns,<br />

+								That whimsical Man of Apulia.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page041" id="page041" title="041"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_33">

+								<img src="images/036.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Quebec,&#8212;<br />

+								A beetle ran over his neck;<br />

+								But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!"<br />

+								That angry Old Man of Quebec.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_34">

+								<img src="images/037.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Bute,<br />

+								Who played on a silver-gilt flute;<br />

+								She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs:<br />

+								That amusing Young Lady of Bute.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page042" id="page042" title="042"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_35">

+								<img src="images/038.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Phil&#339;,<br />

+								Whose conduct was scroobious and wily;<br />

+								He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm,<br />

+								And observed all the ruins of Phil&#339;.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_36">

+								<img src="images/039.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a poker,<br />

+								Who painted his face with red ochre.<br />

+								When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply,<br />

+								But knocked them all down with his poker.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page043" id="page043" title="043"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_37">

+									<img src="images/040.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Prague,<br />

+								Who was suddenly seized with the plague;<br />

+								But they gave him some butter, which caused him to mutter,<br />

+								And cured that Old Person of Prague.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_38">

+								<img src="images/041.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Peru,<br />

+								Who watched his wife making a stew;<br />

+								But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake<br />

+								That unfortunate Man of Peru.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page044" id="page044" title="044"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_39">

+								<img src="images/042.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the North,<br />

+								Who fell into a basin of broth;<br />

+								But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook,<br />

+								Which saved that Old Man of the North.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_40">

+								<img src="images/043.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Troy,<br />

+								Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,<br />

+								Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon,<br />

+								In sight of the city of Troy.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page045" id="page045" title="045"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_41">

+								<img src="images/044.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Mold,<br />

+								Who shrank from sensations of cold;<br />

+								So he purchased some muffs, some furs, and some fluffs,<br />

+								And wrapped himself well from the cold.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_42">

+								<img src="images/045.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Tring,<br />

+								Who embellished his nose with a ring;<br />

+								He gazed at the moon every evening in June,<br />

+								That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page046" id="page046" title="046"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_43">

+								<img src="images/046.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Nepaul,<br />

+								From his horse had a terrible fall;<br />

+								But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue<br />

+								They mended that man of Nepaul.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_44">

+								<img src="images/047.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Nile,<br />

+								Who sharpened his nails with a file,<br />

+								Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly, "This comes<br />

+								Of sharpening one's nails with a file!"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page047" id="page047" title="047"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_45">

+								<img src="images/048.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,<br />

+								So blind that he couldn't his foot see;<br />

+								When they said, "That's your toe," he replied, "Is it so?"<br />

+								That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_46">

+								<img src="images/049.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Calcutta,<br />

+								Who perpetually ate bread and butter;<br />

+								Till a great bit of muffin, on which he was stuffing,<br />

+								Choked that horrid Old Man of Calcutta.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page048" id="page048" title="048"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_47">

+								<img src="images/050.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Rhodes,<br />

+								Who strongly objected to toads;<br />

+								He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens,<br />

+								That futile Old Person of Rhodes.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_48">

+								<img src="images/051.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the South,<br />

+								Who had an immoderate mouth;<br />

+								But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish,<br />

+								He was choked, that Old Man of the South.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page049" id="page049" title="049"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_49">

+								<img src="images/052.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Melrose,<br />

+								Who walked on the tips of his toes;<br />

+								But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present,<br />

+								You stupid Old Man of Melrose."

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_50">

+								<img src="images/053.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Dee,<br />

+								Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;<br />

+								When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet,<br />

+								Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page050" id="page050" title="050"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_51">

+								<img src="images/054.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Lucca,<br />

+								Whose lovers completely forsook her;<br />

+								She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"<br />

+								Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_52">

+								<img src="images/055.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Coblenz,<br />

+								The length of whose legs was immense;<br />

+								He went with one prance from Turkey to France,<br />

+								That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page051" id="page051" title="051"></a>						</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_53">

+								<img src="images/056.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Bohemia,<br />

+								Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;<br />

+								But one day, to his grief, she married a thief,<br />

+								Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_54">

+								<img src="images/057.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Corfu,<br />

+								Who never knew what he should do;<br />

+								So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown,<br />

+								That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page052" id="page052" title="052"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_55">

+								<img src="images/058.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,<br />

+								Who studied the works of Vitruvius;<br />

+								When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took,<br />

+								That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_56">

+								<img src="images/059.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Dundee,<br />

+								Who frequented the top of a tree;<br />

+								When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose,<br />

+								And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee!"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page053" id="page053" title="053"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_57">

+								<img src="images/060.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Lady whose folly<br />

+								Induced her to sit in a holly;<br />

+								Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn,<br />

+								She quickly became melancholy.

+								</p>

+							</td>

+						</tr>

+					</table>

+				</td>

+				<td valign="top" width="50%" align="center">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" width="370">

+						<tr>

+							<td>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_58">

+								<img src="images/061.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man on some rocks,<br />

+								Who shut his Wife up in a box:<br />

+								When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt<br />

+								You will pass all your life in that box."

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page054" id="page054" title="054"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_59">

+								<img src="images/062.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Rheims,<br />

+								Who was troubled with horrible dreams;<br />

+								So to keep him awake they fed him with cake,<br />

+								Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_60">

+								<img src="images/063.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Leghorn,<br />

+								The smallest that ever was born;<br />

+								But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy,<br />

+								Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page055" id="page055" title="055"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_61">

+								<img src="images/064.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man in a pew,<br />

+								Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;<br />

+								But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces,<br />

+								That cheerful Old Man in a pew.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_62">

+								<img src="images/065.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Jamaica,<br />

+								Who suddenly married a Quaker;<br />

+								But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"<br />

+								Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page056" id="page056" title="056"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_63">

+								<img src="images/066.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man who said, "How<br />

+								Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?<br />

+								I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile,<br />

+								Which may soften the heart of that Cow."

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_64">

+								<img src="images/067.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Troy,<br />

+								Whom several large flies did annoy;<br />

+								Some she killed with a thump, some she drowned at the pump,<br />

+								And some she took with her to Troy.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page057" id="page057" title="057"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_65">

+								<img src="images/068.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Hull,<br />

+								Who was chased by a virulent Bull;<br />

+								But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?"<br />

+								Which distracted that virulent Bull.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_66">

+								<img src="images/069.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Dutton,<br />

+								Whose head was as small as a button;<br />

+								So to make it look big he purchased a wig,<br />

+								And rapidly rushed about Dutton.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page058" id="page058" title="058"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_67">

+								<img src="images/070.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!<br />

+								I perceive a young bird in this bush!"<br />

+								When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all;<br />

+								It is four times as big as the bush!"

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_68">

+								<img src="images/071.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Russia,<br />

+								Who screamed so that no one could hush her;<br />

+								Her screams were extreme,&#8212;no one heard such a scream<br />

+								As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page059" id="page059" title="059"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_69">

+								<img src="images/072.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Tyre,<br />

+								Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;<br />

+								At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep,<br />

+								And enchanted the city of Tyre.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_70">

+								<img src="images/073.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Bangor,<br />

+								Whose face was distorted with anger;<br />

+								He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,<br />

+								That borascible Person of Bangor.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page060" id="page060" title="060"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_71">

+								<img src="images/074.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the East,<br />

+								Who gave all his children a feast;<br />

+								But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,<br />

+								That it killed that Old Man of the East.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_72">

+								<img src="images/075.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Coast,<br />

+								Who placidly sat on a post;<br />

+								But when it was cold he relinquished his hold,<br />

+								And called for some hot buttered toast.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page061" id="page061" title="061"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_73">

+								<img src="images/076.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,<br />

+								Who possessed a remarkably fat Cur;<br />

+								His gait and his waddle were held as a model<br />

+								To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_74">

+								<img src="images/077.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Gretna,<br />

+								Who rushed down the crater of Etna;<br />

+								When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!"<br />

+								That mendacious Old Person of Gretna.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page062" id="page062" title="062"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_75">

+								<img src="images/078.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a beard,<br />

+								Who sat on a Horse when he reared;<br />

+								But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,<br />

+								You propitious Old Man with a beard!"

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_76">

+								<img src="images/079.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Berlin,<br />

+								Whose form was uncommonly thin;<br />

+								Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,<br />

+								So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page063" id="page063" title="063"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_77">

+								<img src="images/080.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the West,<br />

+								Who never could get any rest;<br />

+								So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,<br />

+								Which cured that Old Man of the West.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_78">

+								<img src="images/081.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Cheadle<br />

+								Was put in the stocks by the Beadle<br />

+								For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,<br />

+								That horrible person of Cheadle.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page064" id="page064" title="064"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_79">

+								<img src="images/082.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Anerley,<br />

+								Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;<br />

+								He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,<br />

+								But returned in the evening to Anerley.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_80">

+								<img src="images/083.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Wales,<br />

+								Who caught a large Fish without scales;<br />

+								When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!"<br />

+								That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page065" id="page065" title="065"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_81">

+								<img src="images/084.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Welling,<br />

+								Whose praise all the world was a-telling;<br />

+								She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,<br />

+								That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_82">

+								<img src="images/085.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Tartary,<br />

+								Who divided his jugular artery;<br />

+								But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life!<br />

+								Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page066" id="page066" title="066"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_83">

+								<img src="images/086.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,<br />

+								Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;<br />

+								But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"<br />

+								So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_84">

+								<img src="images/087.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Sweden,<br />

+								Who went by the slow train to Weedon;<br />

+								When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation,<br />

+								But thought she should go back to Sweden.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page067" id="page067" title="067"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_85">

+								<img src="images/088.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Chester,<br />

+								Whom several small children did pester;<br />

+								They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,<br />

+								And displeased that Old Person of Chester.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_86">

+									<img src="images/089.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Cape,<br />

+								Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;<br />

+								Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,<br />

+								Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page068" id="page068" title="068"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_87">

+								<img src="images/090.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Burton,<br />

+								Whose answers were rather uncertain;<br />

+								When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?"<br />

+								That distressing Old Person of Burton.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_88">

+								<img src="images/091.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Ems<br />

+								Who casually fell in the Thames;<br />

+								And when he was found, they said he was drowned,<br />

+								That unlucky Old Person of Ems.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page069" id="page069" title="069"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_89">

+								<img src="images/092.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Girl of Majorca,<br />

+								Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;<br />

+								She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,<br />

+								Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_90">

+								<img src="images/093.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Poole,<br />

+								Whose soup was excessively cool;<br />

+								So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,<br />

+								That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page070" id="page070" title="070"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_91">

+								<img src="images/094.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Lady of Prague,<br />

+								Whose language was horribly vague;<br />

+								When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!"<br />

+								That oracular Lady of Prague.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_92">

+								<img src="images/095.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Parma,<br />

+								Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:<br />

+								When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!"<br />

+								That provoking Young Lady of Parma.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page071" id="page071" title="071"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_93">

+								<img src="images/096.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Sparta,<br />

+								Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"<br />

+								He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,<br />

+								That wonderful Person of Sparta.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_94">

+								<img src="images/097.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man on whose nose<br />

+								Most birds of the air could repose;<br />

+								But they all flew away at the closing of day,<br />

+								Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page072" id="page072" title="072"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_95">

+								<img src="images/098.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Turkey,<br />

+								Who wept when the weather was murky;<br />

+								When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,<br />

+								That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_96">

+								<img src="images/099.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of A&ocirc;sta<br />

+								Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;<br />

+								But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,<br />

+								You invidious Old Man of A&ocirc;sta?"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page073" id="page073" title="073"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_97">

+								<img src="images/100.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Person of Crete,<br />

+								Whose toilette was far from complete;<br />

+								She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,<br />

+								That ombliferous Person of Crete.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_98">

+								<img src="images/101.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Clare,<br />

+								Who was madly pursued by a Bear;<br />

+								When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,<br />

+								That unfortunate Lady of Clare.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page074" id="page074" title="074"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_99">

+								<img src="images/102.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Dorking,<br />

+								Who bought a large bonnet for walking;<br />

+								But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,<br />

+								That she very soon went back to Dorking.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page075" id="page075" title="075"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_100">

+								<img src="images/103.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,<br />

+								Who wished he had never been born;<br />

+								So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,<br />

+								That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page076" id="page076" title="076"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_101">

+								<img src="images/104.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old Person of Cromer,<br />

+								Who stood on one leg to read Homer;<br />

+								When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,<br />

+								Which concluded that Person of Cromer.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page077" id="page077" title="077"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_102">

+								<img src="images/105.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of the Hague,<br />

+								Whose ideas were excessively vague;<br />

+								He built a balloon to examine the moon,<br />

+								That deluded Old Man of the Hague.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page078" id="page078" title="078"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_103">

+								<img src="images/106.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Spain,<br />

+								Who hated all trouble and pain;<br />

+								So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,<br />

+								That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page079" id="page079" title="079"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_104">

+								<img src="images/107.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man who said, "Well!<br />

+								Will <i>nobody</i> answer this bell?<br />

+								I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white,<br />

+								But nobody answers this bell!"

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page080" id="page080" title="080"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_105">

+								<img src="images/108.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with an Owl,<br />

+								Who continued to bother and howl;<br />

+								He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,<br />

+								Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page081" id="page081" title="081"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_106">

+								<img src="images/109.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man in a casement,<br />

+								Who held up his hands in amazement;<br />

+								When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" he replied, "Not at all!"<br />

+								That incipient Old Man in a casement.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page082" id="page082" title="082"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_107">

+								<img src="images/110.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Person of Ewell,<br />

+								Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;<br />

+								But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,<br />

+								Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page083" id="page083" title="083"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_108">

+								<img src="images/111.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man of Peru.<br />

+								Who never knew what he should do;<br />

+								So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,<br />

+								That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page084" id="page084" title="084"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_109">

+								<img src="images/112.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man with a beard,<br />

+								Who said, "It is just as I feared!&#8212;<br />

+								Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,<br />

+								Have all built their nests in my beard."

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_110">

+								<img src="images/113.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady whose eyes<br />

+								Were unique as to color and size;<br />

+								When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,<br />

+								And started away in surprise.

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page085" id="page085" title="085"></a>

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_111">

+								<img src="images/114.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady of Ryde,<br />

+								Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;<br />

+								She purchased some clogs, and some small spotty Dogs,<br />

+								And frequently walked about Ryde.

+								</p>

+

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme1_112">

+								<img src="images/115.gif" alt="nonsense pictures" /><br />

+								There was a Young Lady whose bonnet<br />

+								Came untied when the birds sate upon it;<br />

+								But she said, "I don't care! all the birds in the air<br />

+								Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"

+								</p>

+							</td>

+						</tr>

+					</table>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+</div>

+

+<div class="book" id="book2">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="thecover" id="book2cover">

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page086" id="page086" title="086"></a>

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" class="tablecover" border="0" cellpadding="10" cellspacing="0">

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" valign="top" align="center">

+					<h1><span class="bigger">Nonsense Songs,</span><br />Stories, Botany, and Alphabets.</h1>

+					<h2>By Edward Lear.</h2>

+					<img src="images/116.gif" alt="Nonsense Songs, Stories, Botany and Alphabets" /><br />

+					<p>With One Hundred and Fifty Illustrations.</p>

+					<h4>1894</h4>

+					<p align="center">Originally published 1871</p>

+				</td>

+				<td align="center">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0">

+						<tr>

+							<td align="left" valign="middle">

+								<p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book2.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book2_t.gif" alt="Nonsense Songs, Stories, etc" /></a><br />

+								<b>1894 Cover</b><br />Click for larger version.

+								</p>

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page087" id="page087" title="087"></a>

+								<ul class="tableofcontents">

+									<li><a href="#songs"><b>Nonsense Songs</b></a>.

+										<ul>

+										<li><a href="#owlandpussy">The Owl and the Pussy-Cat</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#duckandkangaroo">The Duck and the Kangaroo</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#daddyandfly">The Daddy Long-Legs and the Fly</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#jumblies">The Jumblies</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#nutandsugar">The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-Tongs</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#calico">Calico Pie</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#sparrows">Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#broomshovelpoker">The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker, and the Tongs</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#tableandchair">The Table And The Chair</a></li>

+										</ul>

+									</li>

+									<li><a href="#stories"><b>Nonsense Stories</b></a>.

+										<ul>

+										<li><a href="#children">The Story of the Four Little Children Who Went Round The World</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#pipple">The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple</a></li>

+										</ul>

+									</li>

+									<li><a href="#cookery"><b>Nonsense Cookery</b></a></li>

+									<li><a href="#botany"><b>Nonsense Botany</b></a></li>

+									<li><a href="#alphabets"><b>Nonsense Alphabets</b></a>

+										<ul>

+										<li><a href="#alphabet1">No. 1</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#alphabet2">No. 2</a></li>

+										<li><a href="#alphabet3">No. 3</a></li>

+										</ul>

+									</li>

+								</ul>
+							</td>

+						</tr>

+					</table>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>
+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page088" id="page088" title="088"></a>

+	<div class="subbook" id="songs">

+			<hr />

+			<h2>NONSENSE SONGS.</h2>

+			<p class="subbookmenu">

+			<a href="#owlandpussy">The Owl and the Pussy-Cat</a> <a href="#duckandkangaroo">The Duck and the Kangaroo</a> <a href="#daddyandfly">The Daddy Long-Legs and the Fly</a> <a href="#jumblies">The Jumblies</a> <a href="#nutandsugar">The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-Tongs</a> <a href="#calico">Calico Pie</a> <a href="#sparrows">Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow</a> <a href="#broomshovelpoker">The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker, and the Tongs</a> <a href="#tableandchair">The Table And The Chair</a>

+			</p>

+			<hr />

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page089" id="page089" title="089"></a>

+

+			<div class="longpoem" id="owlandpussy">

+			<img src="images/117.gif" alt="The Owl and The Pussy-cat" />

+			<h3>THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>he Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea<br />

+				<span class="i4">In a beautiful pea-green boat:</span>

+				They took some honey, and plenty of money<br />

+				<span class="i2">Wrapped up in a five-pound note.</span>

+				The Owl looked up to the stars above,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And sang to a small guitar,</span>

+				"O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,<br />

+				<span class="i2">What a beautiful Pussy you are,</span>

+				<span class="i6">You are,</span>

+				<span class="i6">You are!</span>

+				<span class="i2">What a beautiful Pussy you are!"</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page090" id="page090" title="090"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,<br />

+				<span class="i2">How charmingly sweet you sing!</span>

+				Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried:<br />

+				<span class="i2">But what shall we do for a ring?"</span>

+				They sailed away, for a year and a day,<br />

+				<span class="i2">To the land where the bong-tree grows;</span>

+				And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,<br />

+				<span class="i2">With a ring at the end of his nose,</span>

+				<span class="i6">His nose,</span>

+				<span class="i6">His nose,</span>

+				<span class="i2">With a ring at the end of his nose.</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/118.gif" alt="The Owl and the Pussy-cat" />

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling<br />

+				<span class="i2">Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."</span>

+				So they took it away, and were married next day<br />

+				<span class="i2">By the Turkey who lives on the hill.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page091" id="page091" title="091"></a>

+				They dined on mince and slices of quince,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Which they ate with a runcible spoon;</span>

+				And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,<br />

+				<span class="i2">They danced by the light of the moon,</span>

+				<span class="i4">The moon,</span>

+				<span class="i4">The moon,</span>

+				<span class="i2">They danced by the light of the moon.</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/116.gif" alt="The Owl and the Pussy-cat" />

+			</div>

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page092" id="page092" title="092"></a>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="duckandkangaroo">

+				<img src="images/120.gif" alt="The Duck and the Kangaroo" />
+
+				<h3>THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">S</span>aid the Duck to the Kangaroo,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"Good gracious! how you hop</span>

+				Over the fields, and the water too,<br />

+				<span class="i2">As if you never would stop!</span>

+				My life is a bore in this nasty pond;<br />

+				And I long to go out in the world beyond:<br />

+				<span class="i2">I wish I could hop like you,"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Please give me a ride on your back,"<br />

+				<span class="i2">Said the Duck to the Kangaroo:</span>

+				"I would sit quite still, and say nothing but 'Quack'<br />

+				<span class="i2">The whole of the long day through;</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page093" id="page093" title="093"></a>

+				And we 'd go the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee,<br />

+				Over the land, and over the sea:<br />

+				<span class="i2">Please take me a ride! oh, do!"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/121.gif" alt="The Duck and the Kangaroo" />

+				<p class="versenumber">

+				III.<br />

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Said the Kangaroo to the Duck,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"This requires some little reflection.</span>

+				Perhaps, on the whole, it might bring me luck;<br />

+				<span class="i2">And there seems but one objection;</span>

+				Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold,<br />

+				Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And would probably give me the roo-</span>

+				<span class="i2">Matiz," said the Kangaroo.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page094" id="page094" title="094"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				Said the Duck, "As I sate on the rocks,<br />

+				<span class="i2">I have thought over that completely;</span>

+				And I bought four pairs of worsted socks,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Which fit my web-feet neatly;</span>

+				And, to keep out the cold, I've bought a cloak;<br />

+				And every day a cigar I'll smoke;<br />

+				<span class="i2">All to follow my own dear true</span>

+				<span class="i2">Love of a Kangaroo."</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				Said the Kangaroo, "I'm ready,<br />

+				<span class="i2">All in the moonlight pale;</span>

+				But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And quite at the end of my tail."</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/122.gif" alt="The Duck and the Kangaroo" />

+				<p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page095" id="page095" title="095"></a>

+				So away they went with a hop and a bound;<br />

+				And they hopped the whole world three times round.<br />

+				<span class="i2">And who so happy, oh! who,</span>

+				<span class="i2">As the Duck and the Kangaroo?</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/123.gif" alt="The Duck and the Kangaroo" />

+			</div>

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page096" id="page096" title="096"></a>
+			<hr />
+
			<div class="longpoem" id="daddyandfly">

+				<img src="images/124.gif" alt="The Daddy Long-legs and the Fly" />
+				<h3>THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">O</span>nce Mr. Daddy Long-legs,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Dressed in brown and gray,</span>

+				Walked about upon the sands<br />

+				<span class="i2">Upon a summer's day:</span>

+				And there among the pebbles,<br />

+				<span class="i2">When the wind was rather cold,</span>

+				He met with Mr. Floppy Fly,<br />

+				<span class="i2">All dressed in blue and gold;</span>

+				And, as it was too soon to dine,<br />

+				They drank some periwinkle-wine,<br />

+				And played an hour or two, or more,<br />

+				At battlecock and shuttledore.<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page097" id="page097" title="097"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs<br />

+				<span class="i4">To Mr. Floppy Fly,</span>

+				"Why do you never come to court?<br />

+				<span class="i4">I wish you 'd tell me why.</span>

+				All gold and shine, in dress so fine,<br />

+				<span class="i4">You'd quite delight the court.</span>

+				Why do you never go at all?<br />

+				<span class="i4">I really think you <i>ought</i>.</span>

+				And, if you went, you'd see such sights!<br />

+				Such rugs and jugs and candle-lights!<br />

+				And, more than all, the king and queen,&#8212;<br />

+				One in red, and one in green."<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				"O Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"<br />

+				<span class="i4">Said Mr. Floppy Fly,</span>

+				"It's true I never go to court;<br />

+				<span class="i4">And I will tell you why.</span>

+				If I had six long legs like yours,<br />

+				<span class="i4">At once I'd go to court;</span>

+				But, oh! I can't, because <i>my</i> legs<br />

+				<span class="i4">Are so extremely short.</span>

+				And I'm afraid the king and queen<br />

+				(One in red, and one in green)<br />

+				Would say aloud, 'You are not fit,<br />

+				You Fly, to come to court a bit!'"<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Oh, Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"<br />

+				<span class="i4">Said Mr. Floppy Fly,</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page098" id="page098" title="098"></a>

+				"I wish you 'd sing one little song,<br />

+				<span class="i2">One mumbian melody.</span>

+				You used to sing so awful well<br />

+				<span class="i2">In former days gone by;</span>

+				But now you never sing at all:<br />

+				<span class="i2">I wish you'd tell me why:</span>

+				For, if you would, the silvery sound<br />

+				Would please the shrimps and cockles round,<br />

+				And all the crabs would gladly come<br />

+				To hear you sing, 'Ah, Hum di Hum!'"<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"I can never sing again;</span>

+				And, if you wish, I'll tell you why,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Although it gives me pain.</span>

+				For years I cannot hum a bit,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Or sing the smallest song;</span>

+				And this the dreadful reason is,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">My legs are grown too long!</span>

+				My six long legs, all here and there,<br />

+				Oppress my bosom with despair;<br />

+				And, if I stand or lie or sit,<br />

+				I cannot sing one single bit!"<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				So Mr. Daddy Long-legs<br />

+				<span class="i2">And Mr. Floppy Fly</span>

+				Sat down in silence by the sea,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And gazed upon the sky.</span>

+				They said, "This is a dreadful thing!<br />

+				<span class="i2">The world has all gone wrong,</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page099" id="page099" title="099"></a>

+				Since one has legs too short by half,<br />

+				<span class="i2">The other much too long.</span>

+				One never more can go to court,<br />

+				Because his legs have grown too short;<br />

+				The other cannot sing a song,<br />

+				Because his legs have grown too long!"

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VII.</p>

+				<p>

+				Then Mr. Daddy Long-legs<br />

+				<span class="i2">And Mr. Floppy Fly</span>

+				Rushed downward to the foamy sea<br />

+				<span class="i2">With one sponge-taneous cry:</span>

+				And there they found a little boat,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Whose sails were pink and gray;</span>

+				And off they sailed among the waves,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Far and far away:</span>

+				They sailed across the silent main,<br />

+				And reached the great Gromboolian Plain;<br />

+				And there they play forevermore<br />

+				At battlecock and shuttledore.<br />

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/125.gif" alt="The Daddy Long-legs and the Fly" />

+			</div>

+

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page100" id="page100" title="100"></a>

+

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="jumblies">

+				<img src="images/126.gif" alt="The Jumblies" align="right" />

+				<h3>THE JUMBLIES.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>hey went to sea in a sieve, they did;<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a sieve they went to sea:</span>

+				In spite of all their friends could say,<br />

+				On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a sieve they went to sea.</span>

+				And when the sieve turned round and round,<br />

+				And every one cried, "You'll all be drowned!"<br />

+				They called aloud, "Our sieve ain't big;<br />

+				But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig:<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a sieve we'll go to sea!"</span>

+				<span class="i6">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i8">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i6">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue</span>

+				<span class="i8">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page101" id="page101" title="101"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				They sailed away in a sieve, they did,<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a sieve they sailed so fast,</span>

+				With only a beautiful pea-green veil<br />

+				Tied with a ribbon, by way of a sail,<br />

+				<span class="i2">To a small tobacco-pipe mast.</span>

+				And every one said who saw them go,<br />

+				"Oh! won't they be soon upset, you know?<br />

+				For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long;<br />

+				And, happen what may, it's extremely wrong<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a sieve to sail so fast."</span>

+				<span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				The water it soon came in, it did;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The water it soon came in:</span>

+				So, to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet<br />

+				In a pinky paper all folded neat;<br />

+				<span class="i2">And they fastened it down with a pin.</span>

+				And they passed the night in a crockery-jar;<br />

+				And each of them said, "How wise we are!<br />

+				Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,<br />

+				Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,<br />

+				<span class="i2">While round in our sieve we spin."</span>

+				<span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page102" id="page102" title="102"></a>						</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				And all night long they sailed away;<br />

+				<span class="i2">And when the sun went down,</span>

+				They whistled and warbled a moony song<br />

+				To the echoing sound of a coppery gong,<br />

+				<span class="i2">In the shade of the mountains brown.</span>

+				"O Timballoo! How happy we are<br />

+				When we live in a sieve and a crockery-jar!<br />

+				And all night long, in the moonlight pale,<br />

+				We sail away with a pea-green sail<br />

+				<span class="i2">In the shade of the mountains brown."</span>

+				<span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">To a land all covered with trees:</span>

+				And they bought an owl, and a useful cart,<br />

+				And a pound of rice, and a cranberry-tart,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And a hive of silvery bees;</span>

+				And they bought a pig, and some green jackdaws,<br />

+				And a lovely monkey with lollipop paws,<br />

+				And forty bottles of ring-bo-ree,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And no end of Stilton cheese.</span>

+				<span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page103" id="page103" title="103"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				And in twenty years they all came back,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">In twenty years or more;</span>

+				And every one said, "How tall they've grown!<br />

+				For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And the hills of the Chankly Bore."</span>

+				And they drank their health, and gave them a feast<br />

+				Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast;<br />

+				And every one said, "If we only live,<br />

+				We, too, will go to sea in a sieve,<br />

+				<span class="i2">To the hills of the Chankly Bore."</span>

+				<span class="i4">Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live:</span>

+				<span class="i4">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve.</span>

+				</p>

+			</div>

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page104" id="page104" title="104"></a>

+		<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="nutandsugar">

+				<img src="images/127.gif" alt="The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-tongs" />

+				<br />

+				<h3>THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS.</h3>
+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>he Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Sugar-tongs sate by a plate at his side;</span>

+				And the Nutcrackers said, "Don't you wish we were able<br />

+				<span class="i2">Along the blue hills and green meadows to ride?</span>

+				Must we drag on this stupid existence forever,<br />

+				<span class="i2">So idle and weary, so full of remorse,</span>

+				While every one else takes his pleasure, and never<br />

+				<span class="i2">Seems happy unless he is riding a horse?</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Don't you think we could ride without being instructed,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Without any saddle or bridle or spur?</span>

+				Our legs are so long, and so aptly constructed,<br />

+				<span class="i2">I'm sure that an accident could not occur.</span>

+				Let us all of a sudden hop down from the table,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And hustle downstairs, and each jump on a horse!</span>

+				Shall we try? Shall we go? Do you think we are able?"<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Sugar-tongs answered distinctly, "Of course!"</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page105" id="page105" title="105"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				So down the long staircase they hopped in a minute;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Sugar-tongs snapped, and the Crackers said "Crack!"</span>

+				The stable was open; the horses were in it:<br />

+				<span class="i2">Each took out a pony, and jumped on his back.</span>

+				The Cat in a fright scrambled out of the doorway;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Mice tumbled out of a bundle of hay;</span>

+				The brown and white Rats, and the black ones from Norway,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Screamed out, "They are taking the horses away!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				The whole of the household was filled with amazement:<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Cups and the Saucers danced madly about;</span>

+				The Plates and the Dishes looked out of the casement;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Salt-cellar stood on his head with a shout;</span>

+				The Spoons, with a clatter, looked out of the lattice;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Mustard-pot climbed up the gooseberry-pies;</span>

+				The Soup-ladle peeped through a heap of veal-patties,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And squeaked with a ladle-like scream of surprise.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				The Frying-pan said, "It's an awful delusion!"<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Tea-kettle hissed, and grew black in the face;</span>

+				And they all rushed downstairs in the wildest confusion<br />

+				<span class="i2">To see the great Nutcracker-Sugar-tong race.</span>

+				And out of the stable, with screamings and laughter<br />

+				<span class="i2">(Their ponies were cream-colored, speckled with brown),</span>

+				The Nutcrackers first, and the Sugar-tongs after;<br />

+				<span class="i2">Rode all round the yard, and then all round the town.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page106" id="page106" title="106"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				They rode through the street, and they rode by the station;<br />

+				<span class="i2">They galloped away to the beautiful shore;</span>

+				In silence they rode, and "made no observation,"<br />

+				<span class="i2">Save this: "We will never go back any more!"</span>

+				And still you might hear, till they rode out of hearing,<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Sugar-tongs snap, and the Crackers say "Crack!"</span>

+				Till, far in the distance their forms disappearing,<br />

+				<span class="i2">They faded away; and they never came back!</span>

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page107" id="page107" title="107"></a>						</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+

+			<div class="longpoem" id="calico">
+				<h3>CALICO PIE.</h3>
+				<img src="images/128.gif" alt="Calico Pie" align="right"/>
+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i2"><span class="largecap">C</span>alico pie,</span>

+				<span class="i4">The little birds fly</span>

+				<span class="i2">Down to the calico-tree:</span>

+				Their wings were blue,<br />

+				And they sang "Tilly-loo!"<br />

+				Till away they flew;<br />

+				<span class="i2">And they never came back to me!</span>

+				<span class="i4">They never came back,</span>

+				<span class="i4">They never came back,</span>

+				<span class="i2">They never came back to me!</span>

+

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page108" id="page108" title="108"></a>

+

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i2">Calico jam,</span>

+				<span class="i2">The little Fish swam</span>

+				Over the Syllabub Sea.<br />

+				<span class="i2">He took off his hat</span>

+				<span class="i2">To the Sole and the Sprat,</span>

+				<span class="i2">And the Willeby-wat:</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/129.gif" alt="Calico Pie" />

+				<p>

+				But he never came back to me;<br />

+				<span class="i2">He never came back,</span>

+				<span class="i2">He never came back,</span>

+				He never came back to me.<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i2">Calico ban,</span>

+				<span class="i2">The little Mice ran</span>

+				To be ready in time for tea;<br />

+				<span class="i2">Flippity flup,</span>

+				<span class="i2">They drank it all up,</span>

+				<span class="i2">And danced in the cup:</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page109" id="page109" title="109"></a>

+				But they never came back to me;<br />

+				<span class="i2">They never came back,</span>

+				<span class="i2">They never came back,</span>

+				They never came back to me<br />

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/130.gif" alt="Calico Pie" />

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i2">Calico drum,</span>

+				<span class="i2">The Grasshoppers come,</span>

+				The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Over the ground,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Around and round,</span>

+				<span class="i2">With a hop and a bound;</span>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/131.gif" alt="Calico Pie" />

+				<p>

+				But they never came back,<br />

+				<span class="i2">They never came back,</span>

+				<span class="i2">They never came back.</span>

+				They never came back to me.<br />

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page110" id="page110" title="110"></a>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="sparrows">

+				<img src="images/132.gif" alt="Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow" />

+				<br />

+				<h3>MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">O</span>n a little piece of wood<br />

+				Mr. Spikky Sparrow stood:<br />

+				Mrs. Sparrow sate close by,<br />

+				A-making of an insect-pie<br />

+				For her little children five,<br />

+				In the nest and all alive;<br />

+				Singing with a cheerful smile,<br />

+				To amuse them all the while,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"Twikky wikky wikky wee,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Wikky bikky twikky tee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Spikky bikky bee!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Mrs. Spikky Sparrow said,<br />

+				"Spikky, darling! in my head<br />

+				Many thoughts of trouble come,<br />

+				Like to flies upon a plum.<br />

+				All last night, among the trees,<br />

+				I heard you cough, I heard you sneeze;<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page111" id="page111" title="111"></a>

+				And thought I, 'It's come to that<br />

+				Because he does not wear a hat!'<br />

+				<span class="i4">Chippy wippy sikky tee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Bikky wikky tikky mee,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Spikky chippy wee!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Not that you are growing old;<br />

+				But the nights are growing cold.<br />

+				No one stays out all night long<br />

+				Without a hat: I'm sure it's wrong!"<br />

+				Mr. Spikky said, "How kind,<br />

+				Dear, you are, to speak your mind!<br />

+				All your life I wish you luck!<br />

+				You are, you are, a lovely duck!<br />

+				<span class="i4">Witchy witchy witchy wee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Twitchy witchy witchy bee,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Tikky tikky tee!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				"I was also sad, and thinking,<br />

+				When one day I saw you winking,<br />

+				And I heard you sniffle-snuffle,<br />

+				And I saw your feathers ruffle:<br />

+				To myself I sadly said,<br />

+				'She's neuralgia in her head!<br />

+				That dear head has nothing on it!<br />

+				Ought she not to wear a bonnet?'<br />

+				<span class="i4">Witchy kitchy kitchy wee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Spikky wikky mikky bee,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Chippy wippy chee!</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page112" id="page112" title="112"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Let us both fly up to town:<br />

+				There I'll buy you such a gown!<br />

+				Which, completely in the fashion,<br />

+				You shall tie a sky-blue sash on;<br />

+				And a pair of slippers neat<br />

+				To fit your darling little feet,<br />

+				So that you will look and feel<br />

+				Quite galloobious and genteel.<br />

+				<span class="i2">Jikky wikky bikky see,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Chicky bikky wikky bee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Twicky witchy wee!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				So they both to London went,<br />

+				Alighting on the Monument;<br />

+				Whence they flew down swiftly&#8212;pop!<br />

+				Into Moses' wholesale shop:<br />

+				There they bought a hat and bonnet,<br />

+				And a gown with spots upon it,<br />

+				A satin sash of Cloxam blue,<br />

+				And a pair of slippers too.<br />

+				<span class="i2">Zikky wikky mikky bee,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Witchy witchy mitchy kee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Sikky tikky wee!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VII.</p>

+				<p>

+				Then, when so completely dressed,<br />

+				Back they flew, and reached their nest.<br />

+				Their children cried, "O ma and pa!<br />

+				How truly beautiful you are!"<br />

+

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page113" id="page113" title="113"></a>

+

+				Said they, "We trust that cold or pain<br />

+				We shall never feel again;<br />

+				While, perched on tree or house or steeple,<br />

+				We now shall look like other people.<br />

+				<span class="i2">Witchy witchy witchy wee,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Twikky mikky bikky bee,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Zikky sikky tee!"</span>

+				<img src="images/133.gif" alt="Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow" />

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page114" id="page114" title="114"></a>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="broomshovelpoker">

+				<img src="images/134.gif" alt="The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker, and the Tongs." />

+				<h3>THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS.</h3>

+

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>he Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,<br />

+				<span class="i2">They all took a drive in the Park;</span>

+				And they each sang a song, ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!<br />

+				<span class="i2">Before they went back in the dark.</span>

+				Mr. Poker he sate quite upright in the coach;<br />

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Tongs made a clatter and clash;</span>

+				Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch);<br />

+				<span class="i2">Mrs. Broom was in blue (with a sash).</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!</span>

+				<span class="i4">And they all sang a song.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				"O Shovely so lovely!" the Poker he sang,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"You have perfectly conquered my heart.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page115" id="page115" title="115"></a>

+				Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong! If you're pleased with my song,<br />

+				<span class="i2">I will feed you with cold apple-tart.</span>

+				When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound,<br />

+				<span class="i2">You enrapture my life with delight,</span>

+				Your nose is so shiny, your head is so round,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And your shape is so slender and bright!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ain't you pleased with my song?"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Alas! Mrs. Broom," sighed the Tongs in his song,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"Oh! is it because I'm so thin,</span>

+				And my legs are so long,&#8212;ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">That you don't care about me a pin?</span>

+				Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Ah! why don't you heed my complaint?</span>

+				Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Because you are covered with paint?</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!</span>

+				<span class="i4">You are certainly wrong."</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				Mrs. Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang,<br />

+				<span class="i2">"What nonsense you're singing to-day!"</span>

+				Said the Shovel, "I'll certainly hit you a bang!"<br />

+				<span class="i2">Said the Broom, "And I'll sweep you away!"</span>

+				So the coachman drove homeward as fast as he could,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Perceiving their anger with pain;</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page116" id="page116" title="116"></a>

+				But they put on the kettle, and little by little<br />

+				<span class="i2">They all became happy again.</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!</span>

+				<span class="i4">There's an end of my song.</span>

+			<img src="images/135.gif" alt="The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker, and the Tongs." />

+			</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page117" id="page117" title="117"></a>

+			<div class="longpoem" id="tableandchair">

+				<img src="images/136.gif" alt="The Table and the Chair" /><br />

+				<h3>THE TABLE AND THE CHAIR.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">S</span>aid the Table to the Chair,<br />

+				"You can hardly be aware<br />

+				How I suffer from the heat<br />

+				And from chilblains on my feet.<br />

+				If we took a little walk,<br />

+				We might have a little talk;<br />

+				Pray let us take the air,"<br />

+				Said the Table to the Chair.<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Said the Chair unto the Table,<br />

+				"Now, you <i>know</i> we are not able:<br />

+				How foolishly you talk,<br />

+				When you know we <i>cannot</i> walk!"<br />

+				Said the Table with a sigh,<br />

+				"It can do no harm to try.<br />

+				I've as many legs as you:<br />

+				Why can't we walk on two?"<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page118" id="page118" title="118"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				So they both went slowly down,<br />

+				And walked about the town<br />

+				With a cheerful bumpy sound<br />

+				As they toddled round and round;<br />

+				And everybody cried,<br />

+				As they hastened to their side,<br />

+				"See! the Table and the Chair<br />

+				Have come out to take the air!"<br />

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				But in going down an alley,<br />

+				To a castle in a valley,<br />

+				They completely lost their way,<br />

+				And wandered all the day;<br />

+				Till, to see them safely back,<br />

+				They paid a Ducky-quack,<br />

+				And a Beetle, and a Mouse,<br />

+				Who took them to their house.<br />

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/137.gif" alt="The Table and the Chair" />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page119" id="page119" title="119"></a>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				Then they whispered to each other,<br />

+				"O delightful little brother,<br />

+				What a lovely walk we've taken!<br />

+				Let us dine on beans and bacon."<br />

+				So the Ducky and the leetle<br />

+				Browny-Mousy and the Beetle<br />

+				Dined, and danced upon their heads<br />

+				Till they toddled to their beds.<br />

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/138.gif" alt="The Table and the Chair" />

+			</div>

+<a class="pagenumber" name="page120" id="page120" title="120"></a>

+		</div>

+

+		<div class="subbook" id="stories">

+			<hr />

+			<h2>NONSENSE STORIES.</h2>

+			<p class="subbookmenu">

+			<a href="#children">The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World</a> <a href="#pipple">The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple</a>

+			</p>

+			<hr />

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page121" id="page121" title="121"></a>

+			<div class="chapter" id="children">

+					<h3>THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD.</h3>

+					<p>

+					Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little

+					people whose names were<br />

+					<br />

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/139.gif" alt="Violet, Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel;" />

+					<br />

+					and they all thought they should like to see the world. So they

+					bought a large boat to sail quite round the world by sea, and then

+					they were to come back on the other side by land. The boat was

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page122" id="page122" title="122"></a>

+					painted blue with green spots, and the sail was yellow with red

+					stripes: and, when they set off, they only took a small Cat to steer

+					and look after the boat, besides an elderly Quangle-Wangle, who

+					had to cook the dinner and make the tea; for which purposes they

+					took a large kettle.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/140.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					For the first ten days they sailed on beautifully, and found plenty

+					to eat, as there were lots of fish; and they had only to take them

+					out of the sea with a long spoon, when the Quangle-Wangle instantly

+					cooked them; and the Pussy-Cat was fed with the bones,

+					with which she expressed herself pleased, on the whole: so that all

+					the party were very happy.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/141.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page123" id="page123" title="123"></a>

+					<p>

+					During the daytime, Violet chiefly occupied herself in putting

+					salt water into a churn; while her three brothers churned it violently,

+					in the hope that it would turn into butter, which it seldom

+					if ever did; and in the evening they all retired into the tea-kettle,

+					where they all managed to sleep very comfortably, while Pussy and

+					the Quangle-Wangle managed the boat.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/142.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					After a time, they saw some land at a distance; and, when they

+					came to it, they found it was an island made of water quite surrounded

+					by earth. Besides that, it was bordered by evanescent

+					isthmuses, with a great gulf-stream running about all over it; so

+					that it was perfectly beautiful, and contained only a single tree,

+					503 feet high.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					<img src="images/143.gif" align="left" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." /><br />

+					When they had landed, they walked about, but found, to their

+					great surprise, that the island was quite full of veal-cutlets and

+					chocolate-drops, and nothing else. So they all climbed up the

+					single high tree to discover, if possible, if there were any people;

+					but having remained on the top of the tree for a week, and not

+					seeing anybody, they naturally concluded that there were no inhabitants;

+					and accordingly, when they came down, they loaded

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page124" id="page124" title="124"></a>

+					the boat with two thousand veal-cutlets

+					and a million of chocolate-drops;

+					and these afforded

+					them sustenance for more than

+					a month, during which time

+					they pursued their voyage with

+					the utmost delight and apathy.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/144.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World."/><br />

+					After this they came to a

+					shore where there were no less than sixty-five

+					great red parrots with blue tails, sitting

+					on a rail all of a row, and all fast asleep.

+					And I am sorry to say that the Pussy-Cat

+					and the Quangle-Wangle crept softly, and

+					bit off the tail-feathers of all the sixty-five

+					parrots; for which Violet reproved them

+					both severely.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Notwithstanding which, she proceeded

+					to insert all the feathers&#8212;two hundred

+					and sixty in number&#8212;in her bonnet;

+					thereby causing it to have a lovely and

+					glittering appearance, highly prepossessing

+					and efficacious.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/145.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					The next thing that happened to them

+					was in a narrow part of the sea, which was

+					so entirely full of fishes that the boat could

+					go on no farther: so they remained there

+					about six weeks, till they had eaten nearly

+					all the fishes, which were soles, and all

+					ready-cooked, and covered with shrimp-sauce,

+					so that there was no trouble whatever.

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page125" id="page125" title="125"></a>

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					And as the few fishes who remained uneaten complained of

+					the cold, as well as of the difficulty they had in getting any sleep on

+					account of the extreme noise made by the arctic bears and the tropical

+					turnspits, which frequented the neighborhood in great numbers,

+					Violet most amiably knitted a small woollen frock for several of

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page126" id="page126" title="126"></a>

+					the fishes, and Slingsby administered some opium-drops to them;

+					through which kindness they became quite warm, and slept soundly.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/146.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					Then they came to a country which was wholly covered with

+					immense orange-trees of a vast size, and quite full of fruit. So they

+					all landed, taking with them the tea-kettle, intending to gather some

+					of the oranges, and place them in it. But, while they were busy

+					about this, a most dreadfully high wind rose, and blew out most of

+					the parrot-tail feathers from Violet's bonnet. That, however, was

+					nothing compared with the calamity of the oranges falling down on

+					their heads by millions and millions, which thumped and bumped

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page127" id="page127" title="127"></a>

+					and bumped and thumped them all so seriously, that they were

+					obliged to run as hard as they could for their lives; besides that

+					the sound of the oranges rattling on the tea-kettle was of the most

+					fearful and amazing nature.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/147.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					Nevertheless, they got safely to the boat, although considerably

+					vexed and hurt; and the Quangle-Wangle's right foot was so

+					knocked about, that he had to sit with his head in his slipper for

+					at least a week.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/148.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." /><br />

+					<p>

+					This event made them all for a time rather melancholy: and perhaps

+					they might never have become less so, had not Lionel, with a

+					most praiseworthy devotion and perseverance, continued to stand

+					on one leg,<br />

+					and whistle to them in a loud and lively manner; which

+					diverted the whole party so extremely

+					that they gradually recovered

+					their spirits, and agreed

+					that whenever they should reach

+					home, they would subscribe towards

+					a testimonial to Lionel, entirely

+					made of gingerbread and

+					raspberries, as an earnest token of

+					their sincere and grateful infection.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/149.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />
+
+					<p>

+					After sailing on calmly for

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page128" id="page128" title="128"></a>

+					several more days, they came to another country, where they were

+					much pleased and surprised to see a countless multitude of white

+					Mice with red eyes, all sitting in a great circle, slowly eating

+					custard-pudding with the most satisfactory and polite demeanor.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/150.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					And as the four travellers were rather hungry, being tired of eating

+					nothing but soles and oranges for so long a period, they held

+					a council as to the propriety of asking the Mice for some of their

+					pudding in a humble and affecting manner, by which they could

+					hardly be otherwise than gratified. It was agreed, therefore, that

+					Guy should go and ask the Mice, which he immediately did; and

+					the result was, that they gave a walnut-shell only half full of custard

+					diluted with water. Now, this displeased Guy, who said, "Out of

+					such a lot of pudding as you have got, I must say, you might have

+					spared a somewhat larger quantity." But no sooner had he finished

+					speaking than the Mice turned round at once, and sneezed at him

+					in an appalling and vindictive manner (and it is impossible to

+					imagine a more scroobious and unpleasant sound than that caused by

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page129" id="page129" title="129"></a>

+					the simultaneous sneezing of many millions of angry Mice); so that

+					Guy rushed back to the boat, having first shied his cap into the

+					middle of the custard-pudding, by which means he completely

+					spoiled the Mice's dinner.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/151.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					By and by the four children came to a country where there were

+					no houses, but only an incredibly innumerable number of large

+					bottles without corks, and of a dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue

+					color. Each of these blue bottles contained a Blue-Bottle-Fly; and

+					all these interesting animals live continually together in the most

+					copious and rural harmony: nor perhaps in many parts of the world

+					is such perfect and abject happiness to be found. Violet and

+					Slingsby and Guy and Lionel were greatly struck with this singular

+					and instructive settlement; and, having previously asked permission

+					of the Blue-Bottle-Flies (which was most courteously granted), the

+					boat was drawn up to the shore, and they proceeded to make tea in

+					front of the bottles: but as they had no tea-leaves, they merely

+					placed some pebbles in the hot water; and the Quangle-Wangle

+					played some tunes over it on an accordion, by which, of course, tea

+					was made directly, and of the very best quality.

+					</p>

+				<img class="centeredimage" src="images/152.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					The four children then entered into conversation with the Blue-Bottle-Flies,

+					who discoursed in a placid and genteel manner, though

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page130" id="page130" title="130"></a>

+					with a slightly buzzing accent, chiefly owing to the fact that they

+					each held a small clothes-brush between their teeth, which naturally

+					occasioned a fizzy, extraneous utterance.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"Why," said Violet, "would you kindly inform us, do you reside

+					in bottles; and, if in bottles at all, why not, rather, in green or purple,

+					or, indeed, in yellow bottles?"

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					To which questions a very aged Blue-Bottle-Fly answered, "We

+					found the bottles here all ready to live in; that is to say, our

+					great-great-great-great-great-grandfathers did: so we occupied them at

+					once. And, when the winter comes on, we turn the bottles upside

+					down, and consequently rarely feel the cold at all; and you know

+					very well that this could not be the case with bottles of any other

+					color than blue."

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"Of course it could not," said Slingsby. "But, if we may take

+					the liberty of inquiring, on what do you chiefly subsist?"

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"Mainly on oyster-patties," said the Blue-Bottle-Fly; "and,

+					when these are scarce, on raspberry vinegar and Russian leather

+					boiled down to a jelly."

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"How delicious!" said Guy.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					To which Lionel added, "Huzz!" And all the Blue-Bottle-Flies

+					said, "Buzz!"

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					At this time, an elderly Fly said it was the hour for the evening-song

+					to be sung; and, on a signal being given, all the Blue-Bottle-Flies

+					began to buzz at once in a sumptuous and sonorous manner,

+					the melodious and mucilaginous sounds echoing all over the waters,

+					and resounding across the tumultuous tops of the transitory titmice

+					upon the intervening and verdant mountains with a serene and

+					sickly suavity only known to the truly virtuous. The Moon was

+					shining slobaciously from the star-bespangled sky, while her light

+					irrigated the smooth and shiny sides and wings and backs of the

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page131" id="page131" title="131"></a>

+					Blue-Bottle-Flies with a peculiar and trivial splendor, while all

+					Nature cheerfully responded to the cerulean and conspicuous

+					circumstances.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					In many long-after years, the four little travellers looked back to

+					that evening as one of the happiest in all their lives; and it was

+					already past midnight when&#8212;the sail of the boat having been set

+					up by the Quangle-Wangle, the tea-kettle and churn placed in their

+					respective positions, and the Pussy-Cat stationed at the helm&#8212;the

+					children each took a last and affectionate farewell of the Blue-Bottle-Flies,

+					who walked down in a body to the water's edge to see the

+					travellers embark.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/153.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					As a token of parting respect and esteem, Violet made a courtesy

+					quite down to the ground, and stuck one of her few remaining

+					parrot-tail feathers into the back hair of the most pleasing of the

+					Blue-Bottle-Flies; while Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel offered them

+					three small boxes, containing, respectively, black pins, dried figs,

+					and Epsom salts; and thus they left that happy shore forever.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Overcome by their feelings, the four little travellers instantly

+					jumped into the tea-kettle, and fell fast asleep. But all along

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page132" id="page132" title="132"></a>

+					the shore, for many hours, there was distinctly heard a sound of

+					severely-suppressed sobs, and of a vague multitude of living creatures

+					using their pocket-handkerchiefs in a subdued simultaneous

+					snuffle, lingering sadly along the walloping waves as the boat sailed

+					farther and farther away from the Land of the Happy Blue-Bottle-Flies.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Nothing particular occurred for some days after these events,

+					except that, as the travellers were passing a low tract of sand, they

+					perceived an unusual and gratifying spectacle; namely, a large

+					number of Crabs and Crawfish&#8212;perhaps six or seven hundred&#8212;sitting

+					by the water-side, and endeavoring to disentangle a vast

+					heap of pale pink worsted, which they moistened at intervals with

+					a fluid composed of lavender-water and white-wine negus.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"Can we be of any service to you, O crusty Crabbies?" said the

+					four children.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"Thank you kindly," said the Crabs consecutively. "We are

+					trying to make some worsted mittens, but do not know how."

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					On which Violet, who was perfectly acquainted with the art of

+					mitten-making, said to the Crabs, "Do your claws unscrew, or are

+					they fixtures?"

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					"They are all made to unscrew," said the Crabs; and forthwith

+					they deposited a great pile of claws close to the boat, with which

+					Violet uncombed all the pale pink worsted, and then made the loveliest

+					mittens with it you can imagine. These the Crabs, having

+					resumed and screwed on their claws, placed cheerfully upon their

+					wrists, and walked away rapidly on their hind-legs, warbling songs

+					with a silvery voice and in a minor key.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					After this, the four little people sailed on again till they came to

+					a vast and wide plain of astonishing dimensions, on which nothing

+					whatever could be discovered at first; but, as the travellers walked

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page133" id="page133" title="133"></a>

+					onward, there appeared in the extreme and dim distance a single

+					object, which on a nearer approach, and on an accurately cutaneous

+					inspection, seemed to be somebody in a large white wig, sitting on

+					an arm-chair made of sponge-cakes and oyster-shells. "It does not

+					quite look like a human being," said Violet doubtfully; nor could

+					they make out what it really was, till the Quangle-Wangle (who had

+					previously been round the world) exclaimed softly in a loud voice,

+					"It is the co-operative Cauliflower!"

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/154.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					And so, in truth, it was: and they soon found that what they had

+					taken for an immense wig was in reality the top of the Cauliflower;

+					and that he had no feet at all, being able to walk tolerably well with

+					a fluctuating and graceful movement on a single cabbage-stalk,&#8212;an

+					accomplishment which naturally saved him the expense of stockings

+					and shoes.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Presently, while the whole party from the boat was gazing at

+					him with mingled affection and disgust, he suddenly arose, and,

+					in a somewhat plumdomphious manner, hurried off towards the

+					setting sun,&#8212;his steps supported by two superincumbent confidential

+					Cucumbers, and a large number of Waterwagtails proceeding

+					in advance of him by three and three in a row,&#8212;till he finally

+					disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a crystal cloud of

+					sudorific sand.

+					</p>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page134" id="page134" title="134"></a>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/155.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					So remarkable a sight, of course, impressed the four children very

+					deeply; and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong

+					sense of undeveloped asthma and a great appetite.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Shortly after this, the travellers were obliged to sail directly below

+					some high overhanging rocks, from the top of one of which a particularly

+					odious little boy, dressed in rose-colored knickerbockers,

+					and with a pewter plate upon his head, threw an enormous pumpkin

+					at the boat, by which it was instantly upset.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/156.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					But this upsetting was of no consequence, because all the party

+					knew how to swim very well: and, in fact, they preferred swimming

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page135" id="page135" title="135"></a>

+					about till after the moon rose; when, the water growing chilly, they

+					sponge-taneously entered the boat. Meanwhile the Quangle-Wangle

+					threw back the pumpkin with immense force, so that it hit the rocks

+					where the malicious little boy in rose-colored knickerbockers was

+					sitting; when, being quite full of lucifer-matches, the pumpkin

+					exploded surreptitiously into a thousand bits; whereon the rocks

+					instantly took fire, and the odious little boy became unpleasantly

+					hotter and hotter and hotter, till his knickerbockers were turned

+					quite green, and his nose was burnt off.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Two or three days after this had happened, they came to another

+					place, where they found nothing at all except some wide and deep

+					pits full of mulberry-jam. This is the property of the tiny, yellow-nosed

+					Apes who abound in these districts, and who store up the

+					mulberry-jam for their food in winter, when they mix it with pellucid

+					pale periwinkle-soup, and serve it out in wedgewood china-bowls,

+					which grow freely all over that part of the country. Only

+					one of the yellow-nosed Apes was on the spot, and he was fast

+					asleep; yet the four travellers and the Quangle-Wangle and Pussy

+					were so terrified by the violence and sanguinary sound of his snoring,

+					that they merely took a small cupful of the jam, and returned

+					to re-embark in their boat without delay.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					What was their horror on seeing the boat (including the churn

+					and the tea-kettle) in the mouth of an enormous Seeze Pyder, an

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page136" id="page136" title="136"></a>

+					aquatic and ferocious creature truly dreadful to behold, and,

+					happily, only met with in those excessive longitudes! In a moment,

+					the beautiful boat was bitten into fifty-five thousand million hundred

+					billion bits; and it instantly became quite clear that Violet, Slingsby,

+					Guy, and Lionel could no longer preliminate their voyage by sea.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/157.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					The four travellers were therefore obliged to resolve on pursuing

+					their wanderings by land: and, very fortunately, there happened

+					to pass by at that moment an elderly Rhinoceros, on which they

+					seized; and, all four mounting on his back,&#8212;the Quangle-Wangle

+					sitting on his horn, and holding on by his ears, and the Pussy-Cat

+					swinging at the end of his tail,&#8212;they set off, having only four small

+					beans and three pounds of mashed potatoes to last through their

+					whole journey.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/158.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<p>

+					They were, however, able to catch numbers of the chickens and

+					turkeys and other birds who incessantly alighted on the head of the

+					Rhinoceros for the purpose of gathering the seeds of the rhododendron-plants which grew there; and these creatures they cooked in

+					the most translucent and satisfactory manner by means of a fire

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page137" id="page137" title="137"></a>

+					lighted on the end of the Rhinoceros's back. A crowd of Kangaroos

+					and gigantic Cranes accompanied them, from feelings of curiosity

+					and complacency; so that they were never at a loss for company,

+					and went onward, as it were, in a sort of profuse and triumphant

+					procession.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Thus in less than eighteen weeks they all arrived safely at

+					home, where they were received by their admiring relatives with

+					joy tempered with contempt, and where they finally resolved to

+					carry out the rest of their travelling-plans at some more favorable

+					opportunity.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					As for the Rhinoceros, in token of their grateful adherence, they

+					had him killed and stuffed directly, and then set him up outside

+					the door of their father's house as a diaphanous doorscraper.

+					</p>

+					<img class="centeredimage" src="images/159.gif" alt="The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World." />

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page138" id="page138" title="138"></a>

+				</div>

+				<hr />

+				<div class="story" id="pipple">

+					<h3>THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE.</h3>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter1">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER I.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">INTRODUCTORY.</p>

+						<p>

+						In former days,&#8212;that is to say, once upon a time,&#8212;there lived

+						in the Land of Gramble-Blamble seven families. They lived

+						by the side of the great Lake Pipple-Popple (one of the seven

+						families, indeed, lived <i>in</i> the lake), and on the outskirts of the city

+						of Tosh, which, excepting when it was quite dark, they could see

+						plainly. The names of all these places you have probably heard

+						of; and you have only not to look in your geography-books to

+						find out all about them.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						Now, the seven families who lived on the borders of the great

+						Lake Pipple-Popple were as follows in the next chapter.

+						</p>

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter2" align="center">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER II.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE SEVEN FAMILIES.</p>

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Parrots and seven young

+						Parrots.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page139" id="page139" title="139"></a>						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/160.gif" alt="parrots" /><br />

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Storks and seven young Storks.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/161.gif" alt="storks" /><br />

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Geese and seven young Geese.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/162.gif" alt="geese" /><br />

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page140" id="page140" title="140"></a>

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Owls and seven young Owls.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/163.gif" alt="owls" />

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Guinea Pigs and seven young

+						Guinea Pigs.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/164.gif" alt="guinea pigs" />

+						<p>

+						There was a family of two old Cats and seven young Cats.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/165.gif" alt="cats" />

+						<p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page141" id="page141" title="141"></a>

+						And there was a family of two old Fishes and seven young

+						Fishes.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/166.gif" alt="fishes" />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter3">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER III.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HABITS OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES.</p>

+						<p>

+						The Parrots lived upon the Soffsky-Poffsky trees, which were

+						beautiful to behold, and covered with blue leaves; and they

+						fed upon fruit, artichokes, and striped beetles.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The Storks walked in and out of the Lake Pipple-Popple, and

+						ate frogs for breakfast, and buttered toast for tea; but on account

+						of the extreme length of their legs they could not sit down, and so

+						they walked about continually.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The Geese, having webs to their feet, caught quantities of flies,

+						which they ate for dinner.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The Owls anxiously looked after mice, which they caught, and

+						made into sago-puddings.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The Guinea Pigs toddled about the gardens, and ate lettuces

+						and Cheshire cheese.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page142" id="page142" title="142"></a>

+						The Cats sate still in the sunshine, and fed upon sponge biscuits.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The Fishes lived in the lake, and fed chiefly on boiled periwinkles.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And all these seven families lived together in the utmost fun and

+						felicity.

+						</p>

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter4">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER IV.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE CHILDREN OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES ARE SENT AWAY.</p>

+						<p>

+						One day all the seven fathers and the seven mothers of the

+						seven families agreed that they would send their children

+						out to see the world.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So they called them all together, and gave them each eight

+						shillings and some good advice, some chocolate-drops, and a small

+						green morocco pocket-book to set down their expenses in.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						They then particularly entreated them not to quarrel; and all

+						the parents sent off their children with a parting injunction.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						"If," said the old Parrots, "you find a cherry, do not fight

+						about who should have it."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						"And," said the old Storks, "if you find a frog, divide it carefully

+						into seven bits, but on no account quarrel about it."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And the old Geese said to the seven young Geese, "Whatever

+						you do, be sure you do not touch a plum-pudding flea."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And the old Owls said, "If you find a mouse, tear him up into

+						seven slices, and eat him cheerfully, but without quarrelling."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And the old Guinea Pigs said, "Have a care that you eat your

+						lettuces, should you find any, not greedily, but calmly."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And the old Cats said, "Be particularly careful not to meddle

+						with a clangle-wangle if you should see one."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page143" id="page143" title="143"></a>

+						And the old Fishes said, "Above all things, avoid eating a blue

+						boss-woss; for they do not agree with fishes, and give them a pain

+						in their toes."

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So all the children of each family thanked their parents; and,

+						making in all forty-nine polite bows, they went into the wide

+						world.

+						</p>

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter5">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER V.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG PARROTS.</p>

+						<p>

+						The seven young Parrots had not gone far, when they saw

+						a tree with a single cherry on it, which the oldest Parrot

+						picked instantly; but the other six, being extremely hungry, tried

+						to get it also. On which all the seven began to fight; and they

+						scuffled,<br />

+						<span class="i5">and huffled,</span>

+						<span class="i7">and ruffled,</span>

+						<span class="i9">and shuffled,</span>

+						<span class="i11">and puffled,</span>

+						<span class="i13">and muffled,</span>

+						<span class="i15">and buffled,</span>

+						<span class="i17">and duffled,</span>

+						<span class="i19">and fluffled,</span>

+						<span class="i21">and guffled,</span>

+						<span class="i23">and bruffled, and</span>

+						<span class="i25">screamed, and shrieked, and squealed,</span>

+						and squeaked, and clawed, and snapped, and bit, and bumped,

+						and thumped, and dumped, and flumped each other, till they were

+						all torn into little bits; and at last there was nothing left to record

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page144" id="page144" title="144"></a>

+						this painful incident except the cherry and seven small green

+						feathers.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And that was the vicious and voluble end of the seven young

+						Parrots.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/167.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter6">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER VI.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG STORKS.</p>

+						<p>

+						When the seven young Storks set out, they walked or flew for

+						fourteen weeks in a straight line, and for six weeks more in

+						a crooked one; and after that they ran as hard as they could for

+						one hundred and eight miles; and after that they stood still, and

+						made a himmeltanious chatter-clatter-blattery noise with their bills.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						About the same time they perceived a large frog, spotted with

+						green, and with a sky-blue stripe under each ear.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So, being hungry, they immediately flew at him, and were going

+						to divide him into seven pieces, when they began to quarrel as to

+						which of his legs should be taken off first. One said this, and

+						another said that; and while they were all quarrelling, the frog

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page145" id="page145" title="145"></a>

+						hopped away. And when they saw that he was gone, they began

+						to chatter-clatter,<br />

+						<span class="i7">blatter-platter,</span>

+						<span class="i9">patter-blatter,</span>

+						<span class="i11">matter-clatter,</span>

+						<span class="i13">flatter-quatter,</span>

+						more violently than ever; and after they

+						had fought for a week, they pecked each other all to little pieces,

+						so that at last nothing was left of any of them except their bills.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And that was the end of the seven young Storks.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/168.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter7">

+

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER VII.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GEESE.</p>

+						<p>

+						When the seven young Geese began to travel, they went over

+						a large plain, on which there was but one tree, and that was,

+						a very bad one.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page146" id="page146" title="146"></a>

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So four of them went up to the top of it, and looked about

+						them; while the other three waddled up and down, and repeated

+						poetry, and their last six lessons in arithmetic, geography, and

+						cookery.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						Presently they perceived, a long way off, an object of the most

+						interesting and obese appearance, having a perfectly round body

+						exactly resembling a boiled plum-pudding, with two little wings, and

+						a beak, and three feathers growing out of his head, and only one

+						leg.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So, after a time, all the seven young Geese said to each

+						other, "Beyond all doubt this beast must be a Plum-pudding

+						Flea!"

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						On which they incautiously began to sing aloud,

+						</p>

+						<blockquote>

+						<span class="i12">"Plum-pudding Flea,</span>

+						<span class="i12">Plum-pudding Flea,</span>

+						<span class="i12">Wherever you be,</span>

+						<span class="i12">Oh! come to our tree,</span>

+						<span class="i8">And listen, oh! listen, oh! listen to me!"</span>

+						</blockquote>

+						<p>

+						And no sooner had they sung this verse than the Plum-pudding

+						Flea began to hop and skip on his one leg with the

+						most dreadful velocity, and came straight to the tree, where he

+						stopped, and looked about him in a vacant and voluminous

+						manner.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						On which the seven young Geese were greatly alarmed, and all

+						of a tremble-bemble: so one of them put out his long neck, and

+						just touched him with the tip of his bill; but no sooner had he

+						done this than the Plum-pudding Flea skipped and hopped about

+						more and more, and higher and higher; after which he opened

+						his mouth, and, to the great surprise and indignation of the seven

+						Geese, began to bark so loudly and furiously and terribly, that

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page147" id="page147" title="147"></a>

+						they were totally unable to bear the noise; and by degrees every

+						one of them suddenly tumbled down quite dead.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So that was the end of the seven young Geese.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/169.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter8">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER VIII.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG OWLS.</p>

+						<p>

+						When the seven young Owls set out, they sate every now and

+						then on the branches of old trees, and never went far at

+						one time.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And one night, when it was quite dark, they thought they heard

+						a mouse; but, as the gas-lamps were not lighted, they could not

+						see him.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So they called out, "Is that a mouse?"

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						On which a mouse answered, "Squeaky-peeky-weeky! yes, it is!"

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And immediately all the young Owls threw themselves off the

+						tree, meaning to alight on the ground; but they did not perceive

+						that there was a large well below them, into which they all fell superficially,

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page148" id="page148" title="148"></a>

+						and were every one of them drowned in less than half a

+						minute.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						So that was the end of the seven young Owls.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/170.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter9">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER IX.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GUINEA PIGS.</p>

+						<p>

+						The seven young Guinea Pigs went into a garden full of goose-berry-bushes

+						and tiggory-trees, under one of which they fell

+						asleep. When they awoke, they saw a large lettuce, which had

+						grown out of the ground while they had been sleeping, and which

+						had an immense number of green leaves. At which they all

+						exclaimed,&#8212;

+						</p>

+						<blockquote>

+						"Lettuce! O lettuce<br />

+						Let us, O let us,<br />

+						O lettuce-leaves,<br />

+						O let us leave this tree, and eat<br />

+						Lettuce, O let us, lettuce-leaves!"

+						</blockquote>

+						<p>

+										<a class="pagenumber" name="page149" id="page149" title="149"></a>

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And instantly the seven young Guinea Pigs rushed with such extreme

+						force against the lettuce-plant, and hit their heads so vividly

+						against its stalk, that the concussion brought on directly an incipient

+						transitional inflammation of their noses, which grew worse and worse

+						and worse and worse, till it incidentally killed them all seven.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And that was the end of the seven young Guinea Pigs.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/171.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter10">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER X.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG CATS.</p>

+						<p>

+						The seven young Cats set off on their travels with great delight

+						and rapacity. But, on coming to the top of a high hill, they

+						perceived at a long distance off a Clangle-Wangle (or, as it is more

+						properly written, Clangel-Wangel); and, in spite of the warning

+						they had had, they ran straight up to it.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						(Now, the Clangle-Wangle is a most dangerous and delusive

+						beast, and by no means commonly to be met with. They live in

+						the water as well as on land, using their long tail as a sail when in

+						the former element. Their speed is extreme; but their habits of

+						life are domestic and superfluous, and their general demeanor pensive

+										<a class="pagenumber" name="page150" id="page150" title="150"></a>

+						and pellucid. On summer evenings, they may sometimes be

+						observed near the Lake Pipple-Popple, standing on their heads, and

+						humming their national melodies. They subsist entirely on vegetables,

+						excepting when they eat veal or mutton or pork or beef or

+						fish or saltpetre.)

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						The moment the Clangle-Wangle saw the seven young Cats approach,

+						he ran away; and as he ran straight on for four months,

+						and the Cats, though they continued to run, could never overtake

+						him, they all gradually <i>died</i> of fatigue and exhaustion, and never

+						afterwards recovered.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And this was the end of the seven young Cats.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/172.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter11">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER XI.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG FISHES.</p>

+						<p>

+						The seven young Fishes swam across the Lake Pipple-Popple,

+						and into the river, and into the ocean; where, most unhappily

+						for them, they saw, on the fifteenth day of their travels, a

+						bright-blue Boss-Woss, and instantly swam after him. But the Blue

+						Boss-Woss plunged into a perpendicular,<br />

+						<span class="i16">spicular,</span>

+						<span class="i18">orbicular,</span>

+						<span class="i20">quadrangular,</span>

+						<span class="i22">circular depth of soft mud;</span>

+						where, in fact, his house was.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page151" id="page151" title="151"></a>

+						And the seven young Fishes, swimming with great and uncomfortable

+						velocity, plunged also into the mud quite against their will,

+						and, not being accustomed to it, were all suffocated in a very short

+						period.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And that was the end of the seven young Fishes.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/173.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<p>

+					CHAPTER XII.

+					</p>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter12">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER XII.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">OF WHAT OCCURRED SUBSEQUENTLY.</p>

+						<p>

+						After it was known that the

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						<span class="i2">seven young Parrots,</span>

+						and the seven young Storks,<br />

+						and the seven young Geese,<br />

+						and the seven young Owls,<br />

+						and the seven young Guinea Pigs,<br />

+						and the seven young Cats,<br />

+						and the seven young Fishes,

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						were all dead, then the Frog, and the Plum-pudding Flea, and the

+						Mouse, and the Clangle-Wangle, and the Blue Boss-Woss, all met

+						together to rejoice over their good fortune. And they collected

+						the seven feathers of the seven young Parrots, and the seven bills of

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page152" id="page152" title="152"></a>

+						the seven young Storks, and the lettuce, and the cherry; and

+						having placed the latter on the lettuce, and the other objects in a

+						circular arrangement at their base, they danced a hornpipe round

+						all these memorials until they were quite tired; after which they

+						gave a tea-party, and a garden-party, and a ball, and a concert, and

+						then returned to their respective homes full of joy and respect,

+						sympathy, satisfaction, and disgust.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/174.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter13">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER XIII.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">OF WHAT BECAME OF THE PARENTS OF THE FORTY-NINE CHILDREN.</p>

+						<p>

+						BUT when the two old Parrots,<br />

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Storks,</span>

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Geese,</span>

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Owls,</span>

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Guinea Pigs,</span>

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Cats,</span>

+						<span class="i5">and the two old Fishes,</span>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page153" id="page153" title="153"></a>

+						became aware, by reading in the newspapers, of the calamitous extinction

+						of the whole of their families, they refused all further sustenance;

+						and, sending out to various shops, they purchased great

+						quantities of Cayenne pepper and brandy and vinegar and blue

+						sealing-wax, besides seven immense glass bottles with air-tight

+						stoppers. And, having done this, they ate a light supper of brown-bread

+						and Jerusalem artichokes, and took an affecting and formal

+						leave of the whole of their acquaintance, which was very numerous

+						and distinguished and select and responsible and ridiculous.

+						</p>

+					</div>

+					<div class="chapter" id="pipplechapter14">

+						<p class="chapternumber">CHAPTER XIV.</p>

+						<p class="chapterdescription">CONCLUSION.</p>

+						<p>

+						And after this they filled the bottles with the ingredients for

+						pickling, and each couple jumped into a separate bottle; by

+						which effort, of course, they all died immediately, and became

+						thoroughly pickled in a few minutes; having previously made

+						their wills (by the assistance of the most eminent lawyers of the

+						district), in which they left strict orders that the stoppers of the

+						seven bottles should be carefully sealed up with the blue sealing-wax

+						they had purchased; and that they themselves, in the bottles,

+						should be presented to the principal museum of the city of Tosh,

+						to be labelled with parchment or any other anti-congenial succedaneum,

+						and to be placed on a marble table with silver-gilt legs, for

+						the daily inspection and contemplation, and for the perpetual

+						benefit, of the pusillanimous public.

+						</p>

+						<p>

+						And if you ever happen to go to Gramble-Blamble, and visit

+						that museum in the city of Tosh, look for them on the ninety-eighth

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page154" id="page154" title="154"></a>

+						table in the four hundred and twenty-seventh room of the

+						right-hand corridor of the left wing of the central quadrangle of

+						that magnificent building; for, if you do not, you certainly will

+						not see them.

+						</p>

+						<img class="centeredimage" src="images/175.gif" alt="The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple." />

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page155" id="page155" title="155"></a>

+					</div>

+				</div>

+			</div>

+

+			<div class="subbook" id="cookery">

+			<hr />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page156" id="page156" title="156"></a>

+				<h2>NONSENSE COOKERY.</h2>

+				<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#cook1">Amblongus Pie</a> <a href="#cook2">Crumbobblious Cutlets</a> <a href="#cook3">Gosky Patties</a>

+				</p>

+				<hr />

+				<p>

+				Extract from the <i>Nonsense Gazette</i>, for August, 1870.

+				</p>

+				<blockquote>

+				"Our readers will be interested in the following communications

+				from our valued and learned contributor, Prof. Bosh,

+				whose labors in the fields of culinary and botanical science are so

+				well known to all the world. The first three articles richly merit

+				to be added to the domestic cookery of every family: those which

+				follow claim the attention of all botanists; and we are happy to

+				be able, through Dr. Bosh's kindness, to present our readers with

+				illustrations of his discoveries. All the new flowers are found in

+				the Valley of Verrikwier, near the Lake of Oddgrow, and on the

+				summit of the Hill Orfeltugg."

+				</blockquote>

+				<hr />

+				<h3>THREE RECEIPTS FOR DOMESTIC COOKERY.</h3>

+				<hr />

+				<div class="recipe" id="cook1">

+					<h4>TO MAKE AN AMBLONGUS PIE.</h4>

+					<p>

+					Take 4 pounds (say 4&#189; pounds) of fresh Amblongusses, and

+					put them in a small pipkin.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Cover them with water, and boil them for 8 hours incessantly;

+					after which add 2 pints of new milk, and proceed to boil for 4

+					hours more.

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page157" id="page157" title="157"></a>						</p>

+					<p>

+					When you have ascertained that the Amblongusses are quite

+					soft, take them out, and place them in a wide pan, taking care to

+					shake them well previously.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Grate some nutmeg over the surface, and cover them carefully

+					with powdered gingerbread, curry-powder, and a sufficient quantity

+					of Cayenne pepper.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Remove the pan into the next room, and place it on the floor.

+					Bring it back again, and let it simmer for three-quarters of an hour.

+					Shake the pan violently till all the Amblongusses have become of a

+					pale purple color.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Then, having prepared the paste, insert the whole carefully;

+					adding at the same time a small pigeon, 2 slices of beef, 4 cauliflowers,

+					and any number of oysters.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Watch patiently till the crust begins to rise, and add a pinch of

+					salt from time to time.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Serve up in a clean dish, and throw the whole out of window

+					as fast as possible.

+					</p>

+				</div>

+				<hr />

+				<div class="recipe" id="cook2">

+					<h4>TO MAKE CRUMBOBBLIOUS CUTLETS.</h4>

+					<p>

+					Procure some strips of beef, and, having cut them into the

+					smallest possible slices, proceed to cut them still smaller,&#8212;

+					eight, or perhaps nine times.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					When the whole is thus minced, brush it up hastily with a new

+					clothes-brush, and stir round rapidly and capriciously with a salt-spoon

+					or a soup-ladle.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Place the whole in a saucepan, and remove it to a sunny place,

+					&#8212;say the roof of the house, if free from sparrows or other birds,&#8212;

+					and leave it there for about a week.

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page158" id="page158" title="158"></a>

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					At the end of that time add a little lavender, some oil of almonds,

+					and a few herring-bones; and then cover the whole with

+					4 gallons of clarified Crumbobblious sauce, when it will be ready

+					for use.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Cut it into the shape of ordinary cutlets, and serve up in a clean

+					table-cloth or dinner-napkin.

+					</p>

+				</div>

+				<hr />

+				<div class="recipe" id="cook3">

+					<h4>TO MAKE GOSKY PATTIES.</h4>

+					<p>

+					Take a pig three or four years of age, and tie him by the off

+					hind-leg to a post. Place 5 pounds of currants, 3 of sugar, 2

+					pecks of peas, 18 roast chestnuts, a candle, and 6 bushels of turnips,

+					within his reach: if he eats these, constantly provide him

+					with more.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Then procure some cream, some slices of Cheshire cheese, 4

+					quires of foolscap paper, and a packet of black pins. Work the

+					whole into a paste, and spread it out to dry on a sheet of clean

+					brown waterproof linen.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					When the paste is perfectly dry, but not before, proceed to beat

+					the pig violently with the handle of a large broom. If he squeals,

+					beat him again.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					Visit the paste and beat the pig alternately for some days, and

+					ascertain if, at the end of that period, the whole is about to turn

+					into Gosky Patties.

+					</p>

+					<p>

+					If it does not then, it never will; and in that case the pig

+					may be let loose, and the whole process may be considered as

+					finished.

+					</p>

+				</div>

+			</div>

+

+			<div class="subbook" id="botany" align="center">

+			<hr />

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page159" id="page159" title="159"></a>

+				<h2>NONSENSE BOTANY.</h2>

+				<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#botany1_1">Baccopipia Gracilis</a> <a href="#botany1_2">Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia</a> <a href="#botany1_3">Cockatooca Superba</a> <a href="#botany1_4">Fishia Marina</a> <a href="#botany1_5">Guittara Pensilis</a> <a href="#botany1_6">Manypeeplia Upsidownia</a> <a href="#botany1_7">Phattfacia Stupenda</a> <a href="#botany1_8">Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis</a> <a href="#botany1_9">Plumbunnia Nutritiosa</a> <a href="#botany1_10">Pollybirdia Singularis</a>

+				</p>

+				<hr />

+				<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="20" border="0" class="botanygrid">

+					<tr>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page160" id="page160" title="160"></a>

+							<img src="images/176.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Baccopipia Gracilis." id="botany1_1" /><br />

+							Baccopipia Gracilis.

+						</td>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page161" id="page161" title="161"></a>

+							<img src="images/177.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia." id="botany1_2" /><br />

+							Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia.

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page162" id="page162" title="162"></a>

+							<img src="images/178.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Cockatooca Superba." id="botany1_3" /><br />

+							Cockatooca Superba.

+						</td>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page163" id="page163" title="163"></a>

+							<img src="images/179.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Fishia Marina." id="botany1_4" /><br />

+							Fishia Marina.

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page164" id="page164" title="164"></a>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<img src="images/180.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Guittara Pensilis." id="botany1_5" /><br />

+							Guittara Pensilis.

+						</td>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page165" id="page165" title="165"></a>

+							<img src="images/181.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Manypeeplia Upsidownia." id="botany1_6" /><br />

+							Manypeeplia Upsidownia.

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page166" id="page166" title="166"></a>

+							<img src="images/182.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Phattfacia Stupenda." id="botany1_7" /><br />

+							Phattfacia Stupenda.

+						</td>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page167" id="page167" title="167"></a>

+							<img src="images/183.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis." id="botany1_8" /><br />

+							Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis.

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page168" id="page168" title="168"></a>

+							<img src="images/184.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Plumbunnia Nutritiosa." id="botany1_9" /><br />

+							Plumbunnia Nutritiosa.

+						</td>

+						<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page169" id="page169" title="169"></a>

+							<img src="images/185.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Pollybirdia Singularis." id="botany1_10" /><br />

+							Pollybirdia Singularis.

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+				</table>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page170" id="page170" title="170"></a>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="subbook" id="alphabets">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page171" id="page171" title="171"></a>

+				<h2>NONSENSE ALPHABETS.</h2>

+				<p class="subbookmenu">

+				<a href="#alphabet1">No. 1</a> <a href="#alphabet2">No. 2</a> <a href="#alphabet3">No. 3</a>

+				</p>

+				<div class="chapter" id="alphabet1">

+				<hr />

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+						<tr>

+							<td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu">

+								<a href="#a1">a</a> <a href="#b1">b</a> <a href="#c1">c</a> <a href="#d1">d</a> <a href="#e1">e</a> <a href="#f1">f</a> <a href="#g1">g</a> <a href="#h1">h</a> <a href="#i1">i</a> <a href="#j1">j</a> <a href="#k1">k</a> <a href="#l1">l</a> <a href="#m1">m</a> <a href="#n1">n</a> <a href="#o1">o</a> <a href="#p1">p</a> <a href="#q1">q</a> <a href="#r1">r</a> <a href="#s1">s</a> <a href="#t1">t</a> <a href="#u1">u</a> <a href="#v1">v</a> <a href="#w1">w</a> <a href="#x1">x</a> <a href="#y1">y</a> <a href="#z1">z</a>

+								<hr />

+							</td>

+						</tr>

+						<tr>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="a1">A</p>

+							<img src="images/186.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="ant" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">A</span> was an ant<br />

+										Who seldom stood still,<br />

+										And who made a nice house<br />

+										In the side of a hill.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">a</p>

+							<p>Nice little ant!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="b1">B</p>

+							<img src="images/187.gif" alt="book" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">B</span> was a book<br />

+										With a binding of blue,<br />

+										And pictures and stories<br />

+										For me and for you.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">b</p>

+							<p>Nice little book!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="c1">C</p>

+							<img src="images/188.gif" alt="cat" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">C</span> was a cat<br />

+										Who ran after a rat;<br />

+										But his courage did fail<br />

+										When she seized on his tail.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">c</p>

+							<p>Crafty old cat!</p>

+

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="d1">D</p>

+							<img src="images/189.gif" alt="duck" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">D</span> was a duck<br />

+										With spots on his back,<br />

+										Who lived in the water,<br />

+										And always said "Quack!"</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">d</p>

+							<p>Dear little duck!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="e1">E</p>

+							<img src="images/190.gif" alt="elephant" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">E</span> was an elephant,<br />

+										Stately and wise:<br />

+										He had tusks and a trunk,<br />

+										And two queer little eyes.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">e</p>

+							<p>Oh, what funny small eyes!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="f1">F</p>

+							<img src="images/191.gif" alt="fish" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">F</span> was a fish<br />

+										Who was caught in a net;<br />

+										But he got out again,<br />

+										And is quite alive yet.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">f</p>

+							<p>Lively young fish!</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="g1">G</p>

+							<img src="images/192.gif" alt="goat" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+									<tr>

+										<td align="left"><p>

+											<span class="largecap">G</span> was a goat<br />

+											Who was spotted with brown:<br />

+											When he did not lie still<br />

+											He walked up and down.</p>

+										</td>

+									</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">g</p>

+							<p>Good little goat!</p>

+

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="h1">H</p>

+							<img src="images/193.gif" alt="hat" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">H</span> was a hat<br />

+										Which was all on one side;<br />

+										Its crown was too high,<br />

+										And its brim was too wide.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">h</p>

+							<p>Oh, what a hat!</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="i1">I</p>

+							<img src="images/194.gif" alt="ice" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">I</span> was some ice<br />

+										So white and so nice,<br />

+										But which nobody tasted;<br />

+										And so it was wasted.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">i</p>

+						<p>All that good ice!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="j1">J</p>

+							<img src="images/195.gif" alt="jackdaw" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+									<span class="largecap">J</span> was a jackdaw<br />

+									Who hopped up and down<br />

+									In the principal street<br />

+									Of a neighboring town.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">j</p>

+							<p>All through the town!</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="k1">K</p>

+							<img src="images/196.gif" alt="kite" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">K</span> was a kite<br />

+										Which flew out of sight,<br />

+										Above houses so high,<br />

+										Quite into the sky.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">k</p>

+							<p>Fly away, kite!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="l1">L</p>

+							<img src="images/197.gif" alt="light" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">L</span> was a light<br />

+										Which burned all the night,<br />

+										And lighted the gloom<br />

+										Of a very dark room.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">l</p>

+							<p>Useful nice light!</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="m1">M</p>

+							<img src="images/198.gif" alt="mill" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">M</span> was a mill<br />

+										Which stood on a hill,<br />

+										And turned round and round<br />

+										With a loud hummy sound.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">m</p>

+						<p>Useful old mill!</p>

+

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="n1">N</p>

+							<img src="images/199.gif" alt="net" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">N</span> was a net<br />

+										Which was thrown in the sea<br />

+										To catch fish for dinner<br />

+										For you and for me.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">n</p>

+							<p>Nice little net!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+

+							<p class="largeletter" id="o1">O</p>

+							<img src="images/200.gif" alt="orange" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">O</span> was an orange<br />

+										So yellow and round:<br />

+										When it fell off the tree,<br />

+										It fell down to the ground.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">o</p>

+							<p>Down to the ground!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="p1">P</p>

+							<img src="images/201.gif" alt="pig" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">P</span> was a pig,<br />

+										Who was not very big;<br />

+										But his tail was too curly,<br />

+										And that made him surly.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">p</p>

+							<p>Cross little pig!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="q1">Q</p>

+							<img src="images/202.gif" alt="quail" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Q</span> was a quail<br />

+										With a very short tail;<br />

+										And he fed upon corn<br />

+										In the evening and morn.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">q</p>

+							<p>Quaint little quail!</p>

+

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="r1">R</p>

+							<img src="images/203.gif" alt="rabbit" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">R</span> was a rabbit,<br />

+										Who had a bad habit<br />

+										Of eating the flowers<br />

+										In gardens and bowers.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">r</p>

+							<p>Naughty fat rabbit!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="s1">S</p>

+							<img src="images/204.gif" alt="sugar-tongs" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">S</span> was the sugar-tongs,<br />

+										Nippity-nee,<br />

+										To take up the sugar<br />

+										To put in our tea.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">s</p>

+							<p>Nippity-nee!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="t1">T</p>

+							<img src="images/205.gif" alt="tortoise" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+									<span class="largecap">T</span> was a tortoise,<br />

+									All yellow and black:<br />

+									He walked slowly away,<br />

+									And he never came back.</p>

+								</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">t</p>

+							<p>Torty never came back!</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="u1">U</p>

+							<img src="images/206.gif" alt="urn" class="alphaimage" />

+

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">U</span> was an urn<br />

+										All polished and bright,<br />

+										And full of hot water<br />

+										At noon and at night.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">u</p>

+							<p>Useful old urn!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="v1">V</p>

+							<img src="images/207.gif" alt="villa" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">V</span> was a villa<br />

+										Which stood on a hill,<br />

+										By the side of a river,<br />

+										And close to a mill.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">v</p>

+							<p>Nice little villa!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+

+							<p class="largeletter" id="w1">W</p>

+							<img src="images/208.gif" alt="whale" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">W</span> was a whale<br />

+										With a very long tail,<br />

+										Whose movements were frantic<br />

+										Across the Atlantic.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">w</p>

+							<p>Monstrous old whale!</p>

+

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="x1">X</p>

+							<img src="images/209.gif" alt="King Xerxes" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">X</span> was King Xerxes,<br />

+										Who, more than all Turks, is<br />

+										Renowned for his fashion<br />

+										Of fury and passion.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">x</p>

+							<p>Angry old Xerxes!</p>

+

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="y1">Y</p>

+							<img src="images/210.gif" alt="yew" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Y</span> was a yew,<br />

+										Which flourished and grew<br />

+										By a quiet abode<br />

+										Near the side of a road.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">y</p>

+							<p>Dark little yew!</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="z1">Z</p>

+							<img src="images/211.gif" alt="zebra" class="alphaimage" />

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td align="left"><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Z</span> was some zinc,<br />

+										So shiny and bright,<br />

+										Which caused you to wink<br />

+										In the sun's merry light.</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+							<p class="smallletter">z</p>

+							<p>Beautiful zinc!</p>

+						</td>

+						</tr>

+				</table>

+				</div>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page193" id="page193" title="193"></a>

+

+				<div class="chapter" id="alphabet2">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+						<tr>

+							<td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu">

+								<hr />

+								<a href="#a2">a</a> <a href="#b2">b</a> <a href="#c2">c</a> <a href="#d2">d</a> <a href="#e2">e</a> <a href="#f2">f</a> <a href="#g2">g</a> <a href="#h2">h</a> <a href="#i2">i</a> <a href="#j2">j</a> <a href="#k2">k</a> <a href="#l2">l</a> <a href="#m2">m</a> <a href="#n2">n</a> <a href="#o2">o</a> <a href="#p2">p</a> <a href="#q2">q</a> <a href="#r2">r</a> <a href="#s2">s</a> <a href="#t2">t</a> <a href="#u2">u</a> <a href="#v2">v</a> <a href="#w2">w</a> <a href="#x2">x</a> <a href="#y2">y</a> <a href="#z2">z</a>

+								<hr />

+							</td>

+						</tr>

+						<tr>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="a2">A</p>

+							<img src="images/212.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="apple-pie" /><br />

+							<p class="smallletter">a</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td>

+										<p>

+										<span class="largecap">A</span> was once an apple-pie,<br />

+										<span class="i2">Pidy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Widy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Tidy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Pidy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Nice insidy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Apple-pie!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+

+						</td>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="b2">B</p>

+							<img src="images/213.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="bear" />

+							<p class="smallletter">b</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td>

+										<p>

+										<span class="largecap">B</span> was once a little bear,<br />

+										<span class="i2">Beary,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Wary,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Hairy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Beary,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Taky cary,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little bear!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="c2">C</p>

+							<img src="images/214.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="cake" />

+							<p class="smallletter">c</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td>

+										<p>

+										<span class="largecap">C</span> was once a little cake,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Caky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Baky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Maky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Caky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Taky caky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little cake!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="d2">D</p>

+							<img src="images/215.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="doll" />

+							<p class="smallletter">d</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td>

+										<p>

+										<span class="largecap">D</span> was once a little doll,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Dolly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Molly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Polly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Nolly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Nursy dolly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little doll!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td width="50%" align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="e2">E</p>

+							<img src="images/216.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="eel" />

+							<p class="smallletter">e</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td>

+										<p>

+										<span class="largecap">E</span> was once a little eel,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Eely,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Weely,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Peely,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Eely,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Twirly, tweely,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Little eel!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="f2">F</p>

+							<img src="images/217.gif" alt="fish" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">f</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">F</span> was once a little fish,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Fishy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Wishy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Squishy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Fishy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">In a dishy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little fish!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="g2">G</p>

+							<img src="images/218.gif" alt="goose" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">g</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">G</span> was once a little goose,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Goosy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Moosy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Boosey,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Goosey,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Waddly-woosy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little goose!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="h2">H</p>

+							<img src="images/219.gif" alt="hen" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">h</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">H</span> was once a little hen,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Henny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Chenny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Tenny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Henny.</span>

+										<span class="i2">Eggsy-any,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little hen?</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="i2">I</p>

+							<img src="images/220.gif" alt="ink" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">i</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">I</span> was once a bottle of ink<br />

+										<span class="i4">Inky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Dinky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Thinky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Inky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Blacky minky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Bottle of ink!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="j2">J</p>

+							<img src="images/221.gif" alt="ink" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">j</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">J</span> was once a jar of jam,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Jammy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Mammy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Clammy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Jammy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Sweety, swammy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Jar of jam!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="k2">K</p>

+							<img src="images/222.gif" alt="kite" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">k</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">K</span> was once a little kite,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Kity,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Whity,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Flighty,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Kity,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Out of sighty,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Little kite!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="l2">L</p>

+							<img src="images/223.gif" alt="lark" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">l</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">L</span> was once a little lark,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Larky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Marky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Harky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Larky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">In the parky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little lark!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="m2">M</p>

+							<img src="images/224.gif" alt="mouse" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">m</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">M</span> was once a little mouse,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Mousy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Bousy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Sousy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Mousy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">In the housy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little mouse!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="n2">N</p>

+							<img src="images/225.gif" alt="needle" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">n</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">N</span> was once a little needle,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Needly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Tweedly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Threedly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Needly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Wisky, wheedly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little needle!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="o2">O</p>

+							<img src="images/226.gif" alt="owl" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">o</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">O</span> was once a little owl,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Owly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Prowly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Howly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Owly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Browny fowly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little owl!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="p2">P</p>

+							<img src="images/227.gif" alt="pump" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">p</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">P</span> was once a little pump,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Pumpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Slumpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Flumpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Pumpy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Dumpy, thumpy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Little pump!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="q2">Q</p>

+							<img src="images/228.gif" alt="quail" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">q</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Q</span> was once a little quail,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Quaily,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Faily,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Daily,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Quaily,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Stumpy-taily,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little quail!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="r2">R</p>

+							<img src="images/229.gif" alt="rose" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">r</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">R</span> was once a little rose,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Rosy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Posy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Nosy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Rosy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Blows-y, grows-y,</span>

+										<span class="i3">Little rose!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="s2">S</p>

+							<img src="images/230.gif" alt="shrimp" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">s</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">S</span> was once a little shrimp,

+										<span class="i6">Shrimpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Nimpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Flimpy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Shrimpy.</span>

+										<span class="i3">Jumpy, jimpy,</span>

+										<span class="i3">Little shrimp!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="t2">T</p>

+							<img src="images/231.gif" alt="thrush" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">t</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">T</span> was once a little thrush,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Thrushy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Hushy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Bushy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Thrushy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Flitty, flushy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little thrush!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="u2">U</p>

+							<img src="images/232.gif" alt="urn" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">u</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">U</span> was once a little urn,<br />

+										<span class="i7">Urny,</span>

+										<span class="i7">Burny,</span>

+										<span class="i7">Turny,</span>

+										<span class="i7">Urny,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Bubbly, burny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Little urn!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="v2">V</p>

+							<img src="images/233.gif" alt="vine" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">v</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">V</span> was once a little vine,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Viny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Winy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Twiny,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Viny,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Twisty-twiny,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little vine!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="w2">W</p>

+							<img src="images/234.gif" alt="whale" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">w</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">W</span> was once a whale,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Whaly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Scaly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Shaly,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Whaly,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Tumbly-taily,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Mighty whale!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="x2">X</p>

+							<img src="images/235.gif" alt="xerxes" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">x</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">X</span> was once a great king Xerxes,<br />

+										<span class="i6">Xerxy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Perxy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Turxy,</span>

+										<span class="i6">Xerxy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Linxy, lurxy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Great King Xerxes!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td colspan="2">

+							<hr />

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="y2">Y</p>

+							<img src="images/236.gif" alt="yew" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">y</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Y</span> was once a little yew,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Yewdy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Fewdy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Crudy,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Yewdy,</span>

+										<span class="i1">Growdy, grewdy,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Little yew!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p class="largeletter" id="z2">Z</p>

+							<img src="images/237.gif" alt="zinc" class="alphaimage" />

+							<p class="smallletter">z</p>

+							<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+								<tr>

+									<td><p>

+										<span class="largecap">Z</span> was once a piece of zinc,<br />

+										<span class="i4">Tinky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Winky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Blinky,</span>

+										<span class="i4">Tinky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Tinkly minky,</span>

+										<span class="i2">Piece of zinc!</span>

+										</p>

+									</td>

+								</tr>

+							</table>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+				</table>

+			</div>

+		<hr />

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page215" id="page215" title="215"></a>

+		<div class="chapter" id="alphabet3">

+			<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="3" class="alphabetmenu">

+						<hr />

+						<a href="#a3">a</a> <a href="#b3">b</a> <a href="#c3">c</a> <a href="#d3">d</a> <a href="#e3">e</a> <a href="#f3">f</a> <a href="#g3">g</a> <a href="#h3">h</a> <a href="#i3">i</a> <a href="#j3">j</a> <a href="#k3">k</a> <a href="#l3">l</a> <a href="#m3">m</a> <a href="#n3">n</a> <a href="#o3">o</a> <a href="#p3">p</a> <a href="#q3">q</a> <a href="#r3">r</a> <a href="#s3">s</a> <a href="#t3">t</a> <a href="#u3">u</a> <a href="#v3">v</a> <a href="#w3">w</a> <a href="#x3">x</a> <a href="#y3">y</a> <a href="#z3">z</a>

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="a3">A</p>

+						<img src="images/238.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="ape" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">A</span> was an ape,<br />

+									Who stole some white tape,<br />

+									And tied up his toes<br />

+									In four beautiful bows.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">a!</p>

+						<p>Funny old Ape!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="b3">B</p>

+						<img src="images/239.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="bat" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">B</span> was a bat,<br />

+									Who slept all the day,<br />

+									And fluttered about<br />

+									When the sun went away.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">b!</p>

+						<p>Brown little bat!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="c3">C</p>

+						<img src="images/240.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="camel" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">C</span> was a camel:<br />

+									You rode on his hump;<br />

+									And if you fell off,<br />

+									You came down such a bump!

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">c!</p>

+						<p>What a high camel!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="d3">D</p>

+						<img src="images/241.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="dove" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">D</span> was a dove,<br />

+									Who lived in a wood,<br />

+									With such pretty soft wings,<br />

+									And so gentle and good!

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">d!</p>

+						<p>Dear little Dove!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="e3">E</p>

+						<img src="images/242.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="eagle" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">E</span> was an eagle,<br />

+									Who sat on the rocks,<br />

+									And looked down on the fields<br />

+									And the-far-away flocks.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">e!</p>

+						<p>Beautiful eagle!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="f3">F</p>

+						<img src="images/243.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="fan" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">F</span> was a fan<br />

+									Made of beautiful stuff;<br />

+									And when it was used,<br />

+									It went puffy-puff-puff!

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">f!</p>

+						<p>Nice little fan.</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="g3">G</p>

+						<img src="images/244.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="gooseberry" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">G</span> was a gooseberry,<br />

+									Perfectly red;<br />

+									To be made into jam,<br />

+									And eaten with bread.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">g!</p>

+						<p>Gooseberry red!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="h3">H</p>

+						<img src="images/245.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="heron" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">H</span> was a heron,<br />

+									Who stood in a stream:<br />

+									The length of his neck<br />

+									And his legs was extreme.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">h!</p>

+						<p>Long-legged Heron!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="i3">I</p>

+						<img src="images/246.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="inkstand" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">I</span> was an inkstand,<br />

+									Which stood on a table,<br />

+									With a nice pen to write with<br />

+									When we are able.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">i!</p>

+						<p>Neat little inkstand!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="j3">J</p>

+						<img src="images/247.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="jug" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">J</span> was a jug,<br />

+									So pretty and white,<br />

+									With fresh water in it<br />

+									At morning and night.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">j!</p>

+						<p>Nice little jug!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="k3">K</p>

+						<img src="images/248.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="kingfisher" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">K</span> was a kingfisher:<br />

+									Quickly he flew,<br />

+									So bright and so pretty!&#8212;<br />

+									Green, purple, and blue.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">k!</p>

+						<p>Kingfisher, blue!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="l3">L</p>

+						<img src="images/249.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="lily" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">L</span> was a lily,<br />

+									So white and so sweet!<br />

+									To see it and smell it<br />

+									Was quite a nice treat.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">l!</p>

+						<p>Beautiful Lily!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="m3">M</p>

+						<img src="images/250.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="man" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">M</span> was a man,<br />

+									Who walked round and round;<br />

+									And he wore a long coat<br />

+									That came down to the ground.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">m!</p>

+						<p>Funny old Man!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="n3">N</p>

+						<img src="images/251.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="nut" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">N</span> was a nut<br />

+									So smooth and so brown!<br />

+									And when it was ripe,<br />

+									It fell tumble-dum-down.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">n!</p>

+						<p>Nice little Nut!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="o3">O</p>

+						<img src="images/252.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="oyster" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">O</span> was an oyster,<br />

+									Who lived in his shell:<br />

+									If you let him alone,<br />

+									He felt perfectly well.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">o!</p>

+						<p>Open-mouthed oyster!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="p3">P</p>

+						<img src="images/253.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="polly" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">P</span> was a polly,<br />

+									All red, blue, and green,&#8212;<br />

+									The most beautiful polly<br />

+									That ever was seen.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">p!</p>

+						<p>Poor little Polly!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="q3">Q</p>

+						<img src="images/254.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="quill" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Q</span> was a quill<br />

+									Made into a pen;<br />

+									But I do not know where,<br />

+									And I cannot say when.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">q!</p>

+						<p>Nice little Quill!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="r3">R</p>

+						<img src="images/255.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="rattlesnake" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">R</span> was a rattlesnake,<br />

+									Rolled up so tight,<br />

+									Those who saw him ran quickly,<br />

+									For fear he should bite.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">r!</p>

+						<p>Rattlesnake bite!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="s3">S</p>

+						<img src="images/256.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="screw" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">S</span> was a screw<br />

+									To screw down a box;<br />

+									And then it was fastened<br />

+									Without any locks.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">s!</p>

+						<p>Valuable screw!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="t3">T</p>

+						<img src="images/257.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="thimble" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">T</span> was a thimble,<br />

+									Of silver so bright!<br />

+									When placed on the finger,<br />

+									It fitted so tight!

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">t!</p>

+						<p>Nice little thimble!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="u3">U</p>

+						<img src="images/258.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="upper-coat" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">U</span> was an upper-coat,<br />

+									Woolly and warm,<br />

+									To wear over all<br />

+									In the snow or the storm.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">u!</p>

+						<p>What a nice upper-coat!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="v3">V</p>

+						<img src="images/259.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="veil" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">V</span> was a veil<br />

+									With a border upon it,<br />

+									And a ribbon to tie it<br />

+									All round a pink bonnet.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">v!</p>

+						<p>Pretty green Veil!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="w3">W</p>

+						<img src="images/260.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="watch" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">W</span> was a watch,<br />

+									Where, in letters of gold,<br />

+									The hour of the day<br />

+									You might always behold.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">w!</p>

+						<p>Beautiful watch!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="x3">X</p>

+						<img src="images/261.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="xerxes" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">X</span> was King Xerxes,<br />

+									Who wore on his head A mighty large turban,<br />

+									Green, yellow, and red.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">x!</p>

+						<p>Look at King Xerxes!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="y3">Y</p>

+						<img src="images/262.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="yak" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Y</span> was a yak,<br />

+									From the land of Thibet:<br />

+									Except his white tail,<br />

+									He was all black as jet.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">y!</p>

+						<p>Look at the Yak!</p>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="z3">Z</p>

+						<img src="images/263.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="zebra" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Z</span> was a zebra,<br />

+									All striped white and black;<br />

+									And if he were tame,<br />

+									You might ride on his back.

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+						<p class="smallletter">z!</p>

+						<p>Pretty striped Zebra!</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+			</table>

+		</div>

+	</div>

+</div>

+<div class="book" id="book3">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page238" id="page238" title="238"></a>

+	<div class="thecover" id="book3cover">

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" class="tablecover" border="0" cellpadding="10" cellspacing="0">

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" valign="top">

+					<h1>

+					<span class="bigger">More Nonsense</span><br />Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc.

+					</h1>

+					<h2>

+					By Edward Lear.

+					</h2>

+					<img src="images/264.gif" alt="More Nonsense" />

+					<h4>1894</h4>

+					<p align="center">Originally published 1872</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" valign="middle">

+					<p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book3.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book3_t.gif" alt="More Nonsense Pictures, etc." /></a><br />

+					<b>1894 Cover</b><br />Click for larger version.

+					</p>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page239" id="page239" title="239"></a>

+					<ul class="tableofcontents">

+						<li><a href="#introduction3">Introduction</a></li>

+						<li><a href="#botany3">Nonsense Botany</a></li>

+						<li><a href="#rhymes2">One Hundred Nonsense Pictures And Rhymes</a></li>

+						<li><a href="#alphabet4">Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes And Pictures</a></li>

+					</ul>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page240" id="page240" title="240"></a>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div id="introduction3">

+		<h2>

+		INTRODUCTION.

+		</h2>

+		<hr />

+		<img src="images/265.gif" alt="Edward Lear Self-Portrait" align="right" hspace="20" vspace="20" /><p>

+		In offering this little book&#8212;the third of its kind&#8212;to

+		the public, I am glad to take the opportunity

+		of recording the pleasure I have received at the appreciation

+		its predecessors have met with, as attested

+		by their wide circulation, and by the universally kind

+		notices of them from the Press. To have been the

+		means of administering innocent mirth to thousands,

+		may surely be a just motive for satisfaction, and an

+		excuse for grateful expression.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		At the same time, I am desirous of adding a few

+		words as to the history of the two previously published

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page241" id="page241" title="241"></a>

+		volumes, and more particularly of the first or

+		original "Book of Nonsense," relating to which many

+		absurd reports have crept into circulation, such as that

+		it was the composition of the late Lord Brougham, the

+		late Earl of Derby, etc.; that the rhymes and pictures

+		are by different persons; or that the whole have a

+		symbolical meaning, etc.; whereas, every one of the

+		Rhymes was composed by myself, and every one of

+		the Illustrations drawn by my own hand at the time

+		the verses were made. Moreover, in no portion of

+		these Nonsense drawings have I ever allowed any caricature

+		of private or public persons to appear, and

+		throughout, more care than might be supposed has

+		been given to make the subjects incapable of misinterpretation:

+		"Nonsense," pure and absolute, having

+		been my aim throughout.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		As for the persistently absurd report of the late Earl

+		of Derby being the author of the "First Book of Nonsense,"

+		I may relate an incident which occurred to me

+		four summers ago, the first that gave me any insight

+		into the origin of the rumor.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		I was on my way from London to Guildford, in a

+		railway carriage, containing, besides myself, one passenger,

+		an elderly gentleman: presently, however, two

+		ladies entered, accompanied by two little boys. These,

+		who had just had a copy of the "Book of Nonsense"

+		given them, were loud in their delight, and by degrees

+		infected the whole party with their mirth.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"How grateful," said the old gentleman to the two

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page242" id="page242" title="242"></a>

+		ladies, "all children, and parents too, ought to be to

+		the statesman who has given his time to composing

+		that charming book!"

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		(The ladies looked puzzled, as indeed was I, the

+		author.)

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"Do you not know who is the writer of it?" asked

+		the gentleman.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"The name is 'Edward Lear,'" said one of the

+		ladies.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"Ah!" said the first speaker, "so it is printed; but

+		that is only a whim of the real author, the Earl of

+		Derby. 'Edward' is his Christian name, and, as you

+		may see, LEAR is only EARL transposed."

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"But," said the lady, doubtingly, "here is a dedication

+		to the great-grandchildren, grand-nephews, and

+		grand-nieces of Edward, thirteenth Earl of Derby, by

+		the author, Edward Lear."

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"That," replied the other, "is simply a piece of

+		mystification; I am in a position to know that the

+		whole book was composed and illustrated by Lord

+		Derby himself. In fact, there is no such a person at

+		all as Edward Lear."

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"Yet," said the other lady, "some friends of mine

+		tell me they know Mr. Lear."

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		"Quite a mistake! completely a mistake!" said the

+		old gentleman, becoming rather angry at the contradiction;

+		"I am well aware of what I am saying: I

+		can inform you, no such a person as 'Edward Lear'

+		exists!"

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page243" id="page243" title="243"></a>

+

+		Hitherto I had kept silence; but as my hat was, as

+		well as my handkerchief and stick, largely marked inside

+		with my name, and as I happened to have in my

+		pocket several letters addressed to me, the temptation

+		was too great to resist; so, flashing all these articles at

+		once on my would-be extinguisher's attention, I speedily

+		reduced him to silence.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		The second volume of Nonsense, commencing with

+		the verses, "The Owl and the Pussy-Cat," was written

+		at different times, and for different sets of children:

+		the whole being collected in the course of last year,

+		were then illustrated, and published in a single volume,

+		by Mr. R.J. Bush, of 32 Charing Cross.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		The contents of the third or present volume were

+		made also at different intervals in the last two years.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		Long years ago, in days when much of my time

+		was passed in a country house, where children and

+		mirth abounded, the lines beginning, "There was an

+		old man of Tobago," were suggested to me by a valued

+		friend, as a form of verse lending itself to limitless

+		variety for rhymes and pictures; and thenceforth the

+		greater part of the original drawings and verses for

+		the first "Book of Nonsense" were struck off with

+		a pen, no assistance ever having been given me in any

+		way but that of uproarious delight and welcome at the

+		appearance of every new absurdity.

+		</p>

+		<p>

+		Most of these Drawings and Rhymes were transferred

+		to lithographic stones in the year 1846, and

+		were then first published by Mr. Thomas McLean, of

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page244" id="page244" title="244"></a>

+		the Haymarket. But that edition having been soon

+		exhausted, and the call for the "Book of Nonsense"

+		continuing, I added a considerable number of subjects

+		to those previously-published, and having caused the

+		whole to be carefully reproduced in woodcuts by

+		Messrs. Dalzell, I disposed of the copyright to Messrs.

+		Routledge and Warne, by whom the volume was

+		published in 1843.

+		</p>

+		<p align="right">

+		<b>EDWARD LEAR</b>.

+		</p>

+		<p align="left" class="smaller">

+		VILLA EMILY, SAN REMO,<br />

+		<i>August</i>, 1871.

+		</p>

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="subbook" id="botany2">

+		<h2>NONSENSE BOTANY.</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu">

+		<a href="#botany2_1">Barkia Howlaloudia</a> <a href="#botany2_2">Enkoopia Chickabiddia</a> <a href="#botany2_3">Jinglia Tinkettlia</a> <a href="#botany2_4">Nasticreechia Krorluppia</a> <a href="#botany2_5">Arthbroomia Rigida</a> <a href="#botany2_6">Sophtsluggia Glutinosa</a> <a href="#botany2_7">Minspysia Deliciosa</a> <a href="#botany2_8">Shoebootia Utilis</a> <a href="#botany2_9">Stunnia Dinnerbellia</a> <a href="#botany2_10">Tickia Orologica</a> <a href="#botany2_11">Washtubbia Circularis</a> <a href="#botany2_12">Tigerlillia Terribilis</a>

+		</p>

+		<hr />

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="20px" border="0" class="botanygrid">

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page245" id="page245" title="245"></a>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page246" id="page246" title="246"></a>

+					<img src="images/266.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Barkia Howlaloudia." id="botany2_1"/><br />

+					Barkia Howlaloudia.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page247" id="page247" title="247"></a>

+					<img src="images/267.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Enkoopia Chickabiddia." id="botany2_2" /><br />

+					Enkoopia Chickabiddia.

+				</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page248" id="page248" title="248"></a>

+					<img src="images/268.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Jinglia Tinkettlia" id="botany2_3" /><br />

+					Jinglia Tinkettlia.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page249" id="page249" title="249"></a>

+					<img src="images/269.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Nasticreechia Krorluppia." id="botany2_4" /><br />

+					Nasticreechia Krorluppia.

+				</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page250" id="page250" title="250"></a>

+					<img src="images/270.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Arthbroomia Rigida." id="botany2_5" /><br />

+					Arthbroomia Rigida.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page251" id="page251" title="251"></a>

+					<img src="images/271.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Sophtsluggia Glutinosa." id="botany2_6" /><br />

+					Sophtsluggia Glutinosa.

+				</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page252" id="page252" title="252"></a>

+					<img src="images/272.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Minspysia Deliciosa." id="botany2_7" /><br />

+					Minspysia Deliciosa.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page253" id="page253" title="253"></a>

+					<img src="images/273.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Shoebootia Utilis." id="botany2_8" /><br />

+					Shoebootia Utilis.

+				</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page254" id="page254" title="254"></a>

+					<img src="images/274.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Stunnia Dinnerbellia." id="botany2_9" /><br />

+					Stunnia Dinnerbellia.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page255" id="page255" title="255"></a>

+					<img src="images/275.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Tickia Orologica." id="botany2_10" /><br />

+					Tickia Orologica.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page256" id="page256" title="256"></a>

+					<img src="images/276.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Washtubbia Circularis." id="botany2_11" /><br />

+					Washtubbia Circularis.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page257" id="page257" title="257"></a>

+					<img src="images/277.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Tigerlillia Terribilis." id="botany2_12" /><br />

+					Tigerlillia Terribilis.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="subbook" id="rhymes2">

+		<h2>

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page258" id="page258" title="258"></a>

+		ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.

+		</h2>

+		<p class="rhymemenu"><a href="#rhyme2_1">1</a> <a href="#rhyme2_2">2</a> <a href="#rhyme2_3">3</a> <a href="#rhyme2_4">4</a> <a href="#rhyme2_5">5</a> <a href="#rhyme2_6">6</a> <a href="#rhyme2_7">7</a> <a href="#rhyme2_8">8</a> <a href="#rhyme2_9">9</a> <a href="#rhyme2_10">10</a> <a href="#rhyme2_11">11</a> <a href="#rhyme2_12">12</a> <a href="#rhyme2_13">13</a> <a href="#rhyme2_14">14</a> <a href="#rhyme2_15">15</a> <a href="#rhyme2_16">16</a> <a href="#rhyme2_17">17</a> <a href="#rhyme2_18">18</a> <a href="#rhyme2_19">19</a> <a href="#rhyme2_20">20</a> <a href="#rhyme2_21">21</a> <a href="#rhyme2_22">22</a> <a href="#rhyme2_23">23</a> <a href="#rhyme2_24">24</a> <a href="#rhyme2_25">25</a> <a href="#rhyme2_26">26</a> <a href="#rhyme2_27">27</a> <a href="#rhyme2_28">28</a> <a href="#rhyme2_29">29</a> <a href="#rhyme2_30">30</a> <a href="#rhyme2_31">31</a> <a href="#rhyme2_32">32</a> <a href="#rhyme2_33">33</a> <a href="#rhyme2_34">34</a> <a href="#rhyme2_35">35</a> <a href="#rhyme2_36">36</a> <a href="#rhyme2_37">37</a> <a href="#rhyme2_38">38</a> <a href="#rhyme2_39">39</a> <a href="#rhyme2_40">40</a> <a href="#rhyme2_41">41</a> <a href="#rhyme2_42">42</a> <a href="#rhyme2_43">43</a> <a href="#rhyme2_44">44</a> <a href="#rhyme2_45">45</a> <a href="#rhyme2_46">46</a> <a href="#rhyme2_47">47</a> <a href="#rhyme2_48">48</a> <a href="#rhyme2_49">49</a> <a href="#rhyme2_50">50</a> <a href="#rhyme2_51">51</a> <a href="#rhyme2_52">52</a> <a href="#rhyme2_53">53</a> <a href="#rhyme2_54">54</a> <a href="#rhyme2_55">55</a> <a href="#rhyme2_56">56</a> <a href="#rhyme2_57">57</a> <a href="#rhyme2_58">58</a> <a href="#rhyme2_59">59</a> <a href="#rhyme2_60">60</a> <a href="#rhyme2_61">61</a> <a href="#rhyme2_62">62</a> <a href="#rhyme2_63">63</a> <a href="#rhyme2_64">64</a> <a href="#rhyme2_65">65</a> <a href="#rhyme2_66">66</a> <a href="#rhyme2_67">67</a> <a href="#rhyme2_68">68</a> <a href="#rhyme2_69">69</a> <a href="#rhyme2_70">70</a> <a href="#rhyme2_71">71</a> <a href="#rhyme2_72">72</a> <a href="#rhyme2_73">73</a> <a href="#rhyme2_74">74</a> <a href="#rhyme2_75">75</a> <a href="#rhyme2_76">76</a> <a href="#rhyme2_77">77</a> <a href="#rhyme2_78">78</a> <a href="#rhyme2_79">79</a> <a href="#rhyme2_80">80</a> <a href="#rhyme2_81">81</a> <a href="#rhyme2_82">82</a> <a href="#rhyme2_83">83</a> <a href="#rhyme2_84">84</a> <a href="#rhyme2_85">85</a> <a href="#rhyme2_86">86</a> <a href="#rhyme2_87">87</a> <a href="#rhyme2_88">88</a> <a href="#rhyme2_89">89</a> <a href="#rhyme2_90">90</a> <a href="#rhyme2_91">91</a> <a href="#rhyme2_92">92</a> <a href="#rhyme2_93">93</a> <a href="#rhyme2_94">94</a> <a href="#rhyme2_95">95</a> <a href="#rhyme2_96">96</a> <a href="#rhyme2_97">97</a> <a href="#rhyme2_98">98</a> <a href="#rhyme2_99">99</a> <a href="#rhyme2_100">100</a>

+		</p>

+		<hr />

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" class="rhymegrid" width="100%">

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="top" align="center" width="50%">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0" width="370">

+						<tr>

+							<td>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_1">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page259" id="page259" title="259"></a>

+								<img src="images/278.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person of Bantry,<br />

+								Who frequently slept in the pantry;<br />

+								When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,<br />

+								That judicious young person of Bantry.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_2">

+								<img src="images/279.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an Old Man at a Junction,<br />

+								Whose feelings were wrung with compunction<br />

+								When they said, "The Train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How forlorn!"<br />

+								But remained on the rails of the Junction.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_3">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page260" id="page260" title="260"></a>

+								<img src="images/280.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Minety,<br />

+								Who purchased five hundred and ninety<br />

+								Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares<br />

+								At the heads of the people of Minety.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_4">

+								<img src="images/281.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Thermopylae,<br />

+								Who never did anything properly;<br />

+								But they said, "If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,<br />

+								You shall never remain in Thermopylae."

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_5">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page261" id="page261" title="261"></a>

+								<img src="images/282.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Deal,<br />

+								Who in walking used only his heel;<br />

+								When they said, "Tell us why?" he made no reply,<br />

+								That mysterious old person of Deal.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_6">

+								<img src="images/283.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man on the Humber,<br />

+								Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;<br />

+								When he said, "It's enough!" they only said, "Stuff!<br />

+								You amazing old man on the Humber!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_7">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page262" id="page262" title="262"></a>

+								<img src="images/284.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man in a barge,<br />

+								Whose nose was exceedingly large;<br />

+								But in fishing by night, it supported a light,<br />

+								Which helped that old man in a barge.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_8">

+								<img src="images/285.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Dunrose;<br />

+								A parrot seized hold of his nose.<br />

+								When he grew melancholy, they said, "His name's Polly,"<br />

+								Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_9">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page263" id="page263" title="263"></a>

+								<img src="images/286.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Toulouse<br />

+								Who purchased a new pair of shoes;<br />

+								When they asked, "Are they pleasant?" he said, "Not at present!"<br />

+								That turbid old man of Toulouse.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_10">

+								<img src="images/287.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bree,<br />

+								Who frequented the depths of the sea;<br />

+								She nurs'd the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,<br />

+								And swam back again into Bree.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_11">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page264" id="page264" title="264"></a>

+								<img src="images/288.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bromley,<br />

+								Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;<br />

+								He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,<br />

+								That unpleasing old person of Bromley.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_12">

+								<img src="images/289.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Shields,<br />

+								Who frequented the vallies and fields;<br />

+								All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,<br />

+								Followed after that person of Shields.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_13">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page265" id="page265" title="265"></a>

+								<img src="images/290.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Dunluce,<br />

+								Who went out to sea on a goose:<br />

+								When he'd gone out a mile, he observ'd with a smile,<br />

+								"It is time to return to Dunluce."

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_14">

+								<img src="images/291.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Dee-side<br />

+								Whose hat was exceedingly wide,<br />

+								But he said, "Do not fail, if it happen to hail,<br />

+								To come under my hat at Dee-side!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_15">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page266" id="page266" title="266"></a>

+								<img src="images/292.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person in black,<br />

+								A Grasshopper jumped on his back;<br />

+								When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,<br />

+								That helpless old person in black.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_16">

+								<img src="images/293.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of the Dargle<br />

+								Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;<br />

+								For he said, "I'll sit still, and will roll them down hill,<br />

+								For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_17">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page267" id="page267" title="267"></a>

+								<img src="images/294.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Pinner,<br />

+								As thin as a lath, if not thinner;<br />

+								They dressed him in white, and roll'd him up tight,<br />

+								That elastic old person of Pinner.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_18">

+								<img src="images/295.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of China,<br />

+								Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,<br />

+								Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,<br />

+								And all of them settled in China.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_19">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page268" id="page268" title="268"></a>

+								<img src="images/296.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man in a Marsh,<br />

+								Whose manners were futile and harsh;<br />

+								He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,<br />

+								That instructive old man in a Marsh.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_20">

+								<img src="images/297.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Brill,<br />

+								Who purchased a shirt with a frill;<br />

+								But they said, "Don't you wish, you mayn't look like a fish,<br />

+								You obsequious old person of Brill?"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_21">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page269" id="page269" title="269"></a>

+								<img src="images/298.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Wick,<br />

+								Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;<br />

+								Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he said nothing more,<br />

+								That laconic old person of Wick.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_22">

+								<img src="images/299.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man at a Station,<br />

+								Who made a promiscuous oration;<br />

+								But they said, "Take some snuff!&#8212;You have talk'd quite enough,<br />

+								You afflicting old man at a Station!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_23">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page270" id="page270" title="270"></a>

+								<img src="images/300.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Three Bridges,<br />

+								Whose mind was distracted by midges,<br />

+								He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,<br />

+								Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_24">

+								<img src="images/301.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Hong Kong,<br />

+								Who never did anything wrong;<br />

+								He lay on his back, with his head in a sack,<br />

+								That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_25">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page271" id="page271" title="271"></a>

+								<img src="images/302.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person in green,<br />

+								Who seldom was fit to be seen;<br />

+								She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all,<br />

+								Which enveloped that person in green.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_26">

+								<img src="images/303.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Fife,<br />

+								Who was greatly disgusted with life;<br />

+								They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,<br />

+								Which cured that old person of Fife.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_27">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page272" id="page272" title="272"></a>

+								<img src="images/304.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man who screamed out<br />

+								Whenever they knocked him about:<br />

+								So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,<br />

+								And continued to knock him about.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_28">

+								<img src="images/305.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young lady in white,<br />

+								Who looked out at the depths of the night;<br />

+								But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,<br />

+								And oppressed that young lady in white.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_29">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page273" id="page273" title="273"></a>

+								<img src="images/306.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Slough,<br />

+								Who danced at the end of a bough;<br />

+								But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,<br />

+								You imprudent old person of Slough."

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_30">

+								<img src="images/307.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Down,<br />

+								Whose face was adorned with a frown;<br />

+								When he opened the door, for one minute or more,<br />

+								He alarmed all the people of Down.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_31">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page274" id="page274" title="274"></a>

+								<img src="images/308.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person in red,<br />

+								Who carefully covered her head,<br />

+								With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather,<br />

+								Besides some long ribands of red.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_32">

+								<img src="images/309.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Hove,<br />

+								Who frequented the depths of a grove;<br />

+								Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,<br />

+								That tranquil old person of Hove.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_33">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page275" id="page275" title="275"></a>

+								<img src="images/310.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person in pink,<br />

+								Who called out for something to drink;<br />

+								But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water!"<br />

+								Which vexed that young person in pink.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_34">

+								<img src="images/311.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old lady of France,<br />

+								Who taught little ducklings to dance;<br />

+								When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they only said, "Quack!"<br />

+								Which grieved that old lady of France.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_35">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page276" id="page276" title="276"></a>

+								<img src="images/312.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Putney,<br />

+								Whose food was roast spiders and chutney,<br />

+								Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea,<br />

+								That romantic old person of Putney.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_36">

+								<img src="images/313.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Loo,<br />

+								Who said, "What on earth shall I do?"<br />

+								When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay,<br />

+								That vexatious old person of Loo.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_37">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page277" id="page277" title="277"></a>

+								<img src="images/314.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Woking,<br />

+								Whose mind was perverse and provoking;<br />

+								He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail,<br />

+								That illusive old person of Woking.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_38">

+								<img src="images/315.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Dean<br />

+								Who dined on one pea, and one bean;<br />

+								For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"<br />

+								That cautious old person of Dean.<br />

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_39">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page278" id="page278" title="278"></a>

+								<img src="images/316.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young lady in blue,<br />

+								Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?"<br />

+								When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!"<br />

+								That ungracious young lady in blue.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_40">

+								<img src="images/317.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old Man in a Garden,<br />

+								Who always begged every one's pardon;<br />

+								When they asked him, "What for?" he replied, "You're a bore!<br />

+								And I trust you'll go out of my garden."<br />

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_41">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page279" id="page279" title="279"></a>

+								<img src="images/318.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Pisa,<br />

+								Whose daughters did nothing to please her;<br />

+								She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day,<br />

+								Round the walls of the city of Pisa.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_42">

+								<img src="images/319.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Florence,<br />

+								Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;<br />

+								He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,<br />

+								Which choked that old person of Florence.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_43">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page280" id="page280" title="280"></a>

+								<img src="images/320.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Sheen,<br />

+								Whose expression was calm and serene;<br />

+								He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,<br />

+								That placid old person of Sheen.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_44">

+								<img src="images/321.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Ware,<br />

+								Who rode on the back of a bear;<br />

+								When they ask'd, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!<br />

+								He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_45">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page281" id="page281" title="281"></a>

+								<img src="images/322.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person of Janina,<br />

+								Whose uncle was always a fanning her;<br />

+								When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said,<br />

+								"You propitious old person of Janina!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_46">

+								<img src="images/323.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Cashmere,<br />

+								Whose movements were scroobious and queer;<br />

+								Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,<br />

+								And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_47">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page282" id="page282" title="282"></a>

+								<img src="images/324.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Cassel,<br />

+								Whose nose finished off in a tassel;<br />

+								But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell!"<br />

+								Which perplexed that old person of Cassel.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_48">

+								<img src="images/325.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Pett,<br />

+								Who was partly consumed by regret;<br />

+								He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,<br />

+								Which relieved that old person of Pett.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_49">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page283" id="page283" title="283"></a>

+								<img src="images/326.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Spithead,<br />

+								Who opened the window, and said,&#8212;<br />

+								"Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"<br />

+								That doubtful old man of Spithead.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_50">

+								<img src="images/327.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man on the Border,<br />

+								Who lived in the utmost disorder;<br />

+								He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,<br />

+								Which vexed all the folks on the Border.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_51">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page284" id="page284" title="284"></a>

+								<img src="images/328.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Dumbree,<br />

+								Who taught little owls to drink tea;<br />

+								For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"<br />

+								That amiable man of Dumbree.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_52">

+								<img src="images/329.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Filey,<br />

+								Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;<br />

+								He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,<br />

+								And delighted the people of Filey.

+								</p>

+							</td>

+						</tr>

+					</table>

+				</td>

+				<td valign="top" align="center" width="50%">

+					<table summary="Nonsense Books" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" border="0">

+						<tr>

+							<td>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_53">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page285" id="page285" title="285"></a>

+								<img src="images/330.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man whose remorse<br />

+								Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;<br />

+								For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,<br />

+								It will certainly soothe your remorse!"<br />

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_54">

+								<img src="images/331.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Ibreem,<br />

+								Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;<br />

+								But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue,<br />

+								You disgusting old man of Ibreem!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_55">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page286" id="page286" title="286"></a>

+								<img src="images/332.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Wilts,<br />

+								Who constantly walked upon stilts;<br />

+								He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,<br />

+								That elegant person of Wilts.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_56">

+								<img src="images/333.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Grange,<br />

+								Whose manners were scroobious and strange;<br />

+								He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,<br />

+								That aquatic old person of Grange.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_57">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page287" id="page287" title="287"></a>

+								<img src="images/334.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Newry,<br />

+								Whose manners were tinctured with fury;<br />

+								He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,<br />

+								Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_58">

+								<img src="images/335.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Dumblane,<br />

+								Who greatly resembled a crane;<br />

+								But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,<br />

+								To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_59">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page288" id="page288" title="288"></a>

+								<img src="images/336.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Port Grigor,<br />

+								Whose actions were noted for vigour;<br />

+								He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,<br />

+								That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_60">

+								<img src="images/337.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of El Hums,<br />

+								Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,<br />

+								Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,<br />

+								In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_61">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page289" id="page289" title="289"></a>

+								<img src="images/338.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of West Dumpet,<br />

+								Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;<br />

+								When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,<br />

+								And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_62">

+								<img src="images/339.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Sark,<br />

+								Who made an unpleasant remark;<br />

+								But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be,<br />

+								You obnoxious old person of Sark!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_63">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page290" id="page290" title="290"></a>

+								<img src="images/340.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man whose despair<br />

+								Induced him to purchase a hare:<br />

+								Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away,<br />

+								Which partly assuaged his despair.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_64">

+								<img src="images/341.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Barnes,<br />

+								Whose garments were covered with darns;<br />

+								But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out,<br />

+								You luminous person of Barnes!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_65">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page291" id="page291" title="291"></a>

+								<img src="images/342.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Nice,<br />

+								Whose associates were usually Geese.<br />

+								They walked out together in all sorts of weather,<br />

+								That affable person of Nice!

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_66">

+								<img src="images/343.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young lady of Greenwich,<br />

+								Whose garments were border'd with Spinach;<br />

+								But a large spotty Calf bit her shawl quite in half,<br />

+								Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_67">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page292" id="page292" title="292"></a>

+								<img src="images/344.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Cannes,<br />

+								Who purchased three fowls and a fan;<br />

+								Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool<br />

+								She constantly fanned them at Cannes.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_68">

+								<img src="images/345.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Ickley,<br />

+								Who could not abide to ride quickly;<br />

+								He rode to Karnak on a tortoise's back,<br />

+								That moony old person of Ickley.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_69">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page293" id="page293" title="293"></a>

+								<img src="images/346.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Hyde,<br />

+								Who walked by the shore with his bride,<br />

+								Till a Crab who came near fill'd their bosoms with fear,<br />

+								And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_70">

+								<img src="images/347.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person in gray,<br />

+								Whose feelings were tinged with dismay;<br />

+								She purchased two parrots, and fed them with carrots,<br />

+								Which pleased that old person in gray.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_71">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page294" id="page294" title="294"></a>

+								<img src="images/348.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Ancona,<br />

+								Who found a small dog with no owner,<br />

+								Which he took up and down all the streets of the town,<br />

+								That anxious old man of Ancona.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_72">

+								<img src="images/349.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Sestri,<br />

+								Who sate himself down in the vestry;<br />

+								When they said, "You are wrong!" he merely said "Bong!"<br />

+								That repulsive old person of Sestri.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_73">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page295" id="page295" title="295"></a>

+								<img src="images/350.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Blythe,<br />

+								Who cut up his meat with a scythe;<br />

+								When they said, "Well! I never!" he cried, "Scythes for ever!"<br />

+								That lively old person of Blythe.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_74">

+								<img src="images/351.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person of Ayr,<br />

+								Whose head was remarkably square:<br />

+								On the top, in fine weather, she wore a gold feather;<br />

+								Which dazzled the people of Ayr.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_75">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page296" id="page296" title="296"></a>

+								<img src="images/352.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Rimini,<br />

+								Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!"<br />

+								When they said, "Please be still!" she ran down a hill,<br />

+								And was never more heard of at Rimini.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_76">

+								<img src="images/353.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There is a young lady, whose nose,<br />

+								Continually prospers and grows;<br />

+								When it grew out of sight, she exclaimed in a fright,<br />

+								"Oh! Farewell to the end of my nose!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_77">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page297" id="page297" title="297"></a>

+								<img src="images/354.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Ealing,<br />

+								Who was wholly devoid of good feeling;<br />

+								He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig,<br />

+								Which distressed all the people of Ealing.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_78">

+								<img src="images/355.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Thames Ditton,<br />

+								Who called out for something to sit on;<br />

+								But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon that,<br />

+								You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_79">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page298" id="page298" title="298"></a>

+								<img src="images/356.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bray,<br />

+								Who sang through the whole of the day<br />

+								To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs,<br />

+								That valuable person of Bray.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_80">

+								<img src="images/357.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person whose history<br />

+								Was always considered a mystery;<br />

+								She sate in a ditch, although no one knew which,<br />

+								And composed a small treatise on history.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_81">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page299" id="page299" title="299"></a>

+								<img src="images/358.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bow,<br />

+								Whom nobody happened to know;<br />

+								So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope<br />

+								You will go back directly to Bow!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_82">

+								<img src="images/359.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Rye,<br />

+								Who went up to town on a fly;<br />

+								But they said, "If you cough, you are safe to fall off!<br />

+								You abstemious old person of Rye!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_83">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page300" id="page300" title="300"></a>

+								<img src="images/360.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Crowle,<br />

+								Who lived in the nest of an owl;<br />

+								When they screamed in the nest, he screamed out with the rest,<br />

+								That depressing old person of Crowle.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_84">

+								<img src="images/361.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,<br />

+								Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see<br />

+								On the floor of my room, sweep it up with the broom!"<br />

+								That exhaustive old Lady of Winchelsea!

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_85">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page301" id="page301" title="301"></a>

+								<img src="images/362.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man in a tree,<br />

+								Whose whiskers were lovely to see;<br />

+								But the birds of the air pluck'd them perfectly bare,<br />

+								To make themselves nests in that tree.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_86">

+								<img src="images/363.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young lady of Corsica,<br />

+								Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur;<br />

+								Which she fed upon ham, and hot raspberry jam,<br />

+								That expensive young lady of Corsica.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_87">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page302" id="page302" title="302"></a>

+								<img src="images/364.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young lady of Firle,<br />

+								Whose hair was addicted to curl;<br />

+								It curled up a tree, and all over the sea,<br />

+								That expansive young lady of Firle.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_88">

+								<img src="images/365.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Stroud,<br />

+								Who was horribly jammed in a crowd;<br />

+								Some she slew with a kick, some she scrunched with a stick,<br />

+								That impulsive old person of Stroud.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_89">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page303" id="page303" title="303"></a>

+								<img src="images/366.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Boulak,<br />

+								Who sate on a Crocodile's back;<br />

+								But they said, "Towr'ds the night he may probably bite,<br />

+								Which might vex you, old man of Boulak!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_90">

+								<img src="images/367.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Skye,<br />

+								Who waltz'd with a Bluebottle fly:<br />

+								They buzz'd a sweet tune, to the light of the moon,<br />

+								And entranced all the people of Skye.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_91">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page304" id="page304" title="304"></a>

+								<img src="images/368.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Blackheath,<br />

+								Whose head was adorned with a wreath<br />

+								Of lobsters and spice, pickled onions and mice,<br />

+								That uncommon old man of Blackheath.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_92">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page305" id="page305" title="305"></a>

+								<img src="images/369.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man, who when little<br />

+								Fell casually into a kettle;<br />

+								But, growing too stout, he could never get out,<br />

+								So he passed all his life in that kettle.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_93">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page306" id="page306" title="306"></a>

+								<img src="images/370.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Dundalk,<br />

+								Who tried to teach fishes to walk;<br />

+								When they tumbled down dead, he grew weary, and said,<br />

+								"I had better go back to Dundalk!"

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_94">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page307" id="page307" title="307"></a>

+								<img src="images/371.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Shoreham,<br />

+								Whose habits were marked by decorum;<br />

+								He bought an Umbrella, and sate in the cellar,<br />

+								Which pleased all the people of Shoreham.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_95">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page308" id="page308" title="308"></a>

+								<img src="images/372.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bar,<br />

+								Who passed all her life in a jar,<br />

+								Which she painted pea-green, to appear more serene,<br />

+								That placid old person of Bar.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_96">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page309" id="page309" title="309"></a>

+								<img src="images/373.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was a young person of Kew,<br />

+								Whose virtues and vices were few;<br />

+								But with blamable haste she devoured some hot paste,<br />

+								Which destroyed that young person of Kew.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_97">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page310" id="page310" title="310"></a>

+								<img src="images/374.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Jodd,<br />

+								Whose ways were perplexing and odd;<br />

+								She purchased a whistle, and sate on a thistle,<br />

+								And squeaked to the people of Jodd.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_98">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page311" id="page311" title="311"></a>

+								<img src="images/375.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Bude,<br />

+								Whose deportment was vicious and crude;<br />

+								He wore a large ruff of pale straw-colored stuff,<br />

+								Which perplexed all the people of Bude.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_99">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page312" id="page312" title="312"></a>

+								<img src="images/376.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old person of Brigg,<br />

+								Who purchased no end of a wig;<br />

+								So that only his nose, and the end of his toes,<br />

+								Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.

+								</p>

+								<p class="rhyme" id="rhyme2_100">

+								<a class="pagenumber" name="page313" id="page313" title="313"></a>

+								<img src="images/377.gif" alt="One Hundred Nonsense Pictures" /><br />

+								There was an old man of Messina,<br />

+								Whose daughter was named Opsibeena;<br />

+								She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig,<br />

+								To the perfect delight of Messina.<br />

+								</p>

+							</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>
+		</table>

+	</div>

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page314" id="page314" title="314"></a>

+	<hr />
+	<div id="alphabet4" class="subbook">

+		<h2>

+			TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES<br />

+			AND PICTURES.<br />

+		</h2>

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu">

+					<hr />

+					<a href="#a4">a</a> <a href="#b4">b</a> <a href="#c4">c</a> <a href="#d4">d</a> <a href="#e4">e</a> <a href="#f4">f</a> <a href="#g4">g</a> <a href="#h4">h</a> <a href="#i4">i</a> <a href="#j4">j</a> <a href="#k4">k</a> <a href="#l4">l</a> <a href="#m4">m</a> <a href="#n4">n</a> <a href="#o4">o</a> <a href="#p4">p</a> <a href="#q4">q</a> <a href="#r4">r</a> <a href="#s4">s</a> <a href="#t4">t</a> <a href="#u4">u</a> <a href="#v4">v</a> <a href="#w4">w</a> <a href="#x4">x</a> <a href="#y4">y</a> <a href="#z4">z</a>

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page315" id="page315" title="315"></a>

+					<img src="images/378.gif" alt="ass" class="alphaimage" id="a4" />

+					<p>

+						The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,<br />

+						who resided in a Barrel, and only lived on<br />

+						Soda Water and Pickled Cucumbers.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page316" id="page316" title="316"></a>

+					<img src="images/379.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="beetle" id="b4" />

+					<p>

+						The Bountiful Beetle,<br />

+						who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn't rain,<br />

+						and left it at home when it did.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/380.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="cow" id="c4" />

+					<p>

+						The Comfortable Confidential Cow,<br />

+						who sate in her Red Morocco Arm Chair and<br />

+						toasted her own Bread at the parlour Fire.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page317" id="page317" title="317"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/381.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="duck" id="d4"/>

+					<p>

+						The Dolomphious Duck,<br />

+						who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner<br />

+						with a Runcible Spoon.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/382.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="elephant" id="e4" />

+					<p>

+						The Enthusiastic Elephant,<br />

+						who ferried himself across the water with the<br />

+						Kitchen Poker and a New pair of Ear-rings.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page318" id="page318" title="318"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/383.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="fish" id="f4" />

+					<p>

+						The Fizzgiggious Fish,<br />

+						who always walked about upon Stilts,<br />

+						because he had no legs.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page319" id="page319" title="319"></a>

+					<img src="images/384.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="gull" id="g4" />

+					<p>

+						The Good-natured Grey Gull,<br />

+						who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag,<br />

+						across the river, because he could not swim.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page320" id="page320" title="320"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/385.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="hen" id="h4" />

+					<p>

+						The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,<br />

+						who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,<br />

+						and bought a Fish for her Supper.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page321" id="page321" title="324"></a>

+

+					<img src="images/386.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="indian" id="i4" />

+					<p>

+						The Inventive Indian,<br />

+						who caught a Remarkable Rabbit in a<br />

+						Stupendous Silver Spoon.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page322" id="page322" title="322"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/387.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="jay" id="j4" />

+					<p>

+						The Judicious Jubilant Jay,<br />

+						who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses,<br />

+						Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page323" id="page323" title="323"></a>

+					<img src="images/388.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="kangaroo" id="k4" />

+					<p>

+						The Kicking Kangaroo,<br />

+						who wore a Pale Pink Muslin dress<br />

+						with Blue spots.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page324" id="page324" title="324"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/389.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="lobster" id="l4" />

+					<p>

+						The Lively Learned Lobster,<br />

+						who mended his own Clothes with<br />

+						a Needle and Thread.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page325" id="page325" title="325"></a>

+					<img src="images/390.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="mouse" id="m4" />

+					<p>

+						The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,<br />

+						who played a merry minuet on the<br />

+						Piano-forte.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page326" id="page326" title="326"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/391.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="newt" id="n4" />

+					<p>

+						The Nutritious Newt,<br />

+						who purchased a Round Plum-pudding<br />

+						for his grand-daughter.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page327" id="page327" title="327"></a>

+					<img src="images/392.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="ostrich" id="o4" />

+					<p>

+						The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,<br />

+						who wore Boots to keep his<br />

+						feet quite dry.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page328" id="page328" title="328"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/393.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="polly" id="p4" />

+					<p>

+						The Perpendicular Purple Polly,<br />

+						who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie<br />

+						with his Spectacles.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page329" id="page329" title="329"></a>

+					<img src="images/394.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="quail" id="q4" />

+					<p>

+						The Queer Querulous Quail,<br />

+						who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of<br />

+						a Tin Tea-kettle.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page330" id="page330" title="330"></a>

+					</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/395.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="raven" id="r4" />

+					<p>

+						The Rural Runcible Raven,<br />

+						who wore a White Wig and flew away<br />

+						with the Carpet Broom.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page331" id="page331" title="334"></a>

+					<img src="images/396.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="snake" id="s4" />

+					<p>

+						The Scroobious Snake,<br />

+						who always wore a Hat on his Head, for<br />

+						fear he should bite anybody.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/397.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="tortoise" id="t4" />

+					<p>

+						The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,<br />

+						who beat a Drum all day long in the<br />

+						middle of the wilderness.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page332" id="page332" title="332"></a>

+					<img src="images/398.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="umbrella-maker" id="u4" />

+					<p>

+						The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,<br />

+						whose Face nobody ever saw, because it was<br />

+						always covered by his Umbrella.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page333" id="page333" title="333"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/399.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="vulture" id="v4" />

+					<p>

+						The Visibly Vicious Vulture,<br />

+						who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a<br />

+						Volume bound in Vellum.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page334" id="page334" title="334"></a>

+					<img src="images/400.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="wasp" id="w4" />

+					<p>

+						The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,<br />

+						who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a<br />

+						Flute with a Morning Cap.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page335" id="page335" title="335"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/401.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="xerxes" id="x4" />

+					<p>

+						The Excellent Double-extra XX<br />

+						imbibing King Xerxes, who lived a<br />

+						long while ago.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page336" id="page336" title="336"></a>

+					<img src="images/402.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="yonghy-bonghy-bo" id="y4" />

+					<p>

+						The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,<br />

+						whose Head was ever so much bigger than his<br />

+						Body, and whose Hat was rather small.

+											<a class="pagenumber" name="page337" id="page337" title="337"></a>						</p>

+				</td>

+				<td width="50%" align="left" valign="bottom">

+					<img src="images/403.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="zebra" id="z4" />

+					<p>

+						The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,<br />

+						who carried five Monkeys on his back all<br />

+						the way to Jellibolee.

+					</p>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+</div>

+<div class="book" id="book4">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="thecover" id="cover4">

+		<a class="pagenumber" name="page338" id="page338" title="338"></a>

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="10" border="0" width="100%">

+			<tr>

+				<td align="center" width="50%">

+					<h1><span class="bigger">Laughable Lyrics:</span><br />

+					A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc.

+					</h1>

+					<h2>by<br />

+					Edward Lear,</h2>

+					<blockquote class="smaller"><i>Author of the 'Book of Nonsense' 'More Nonsense' 'Nonsense

+					Songs, Stories,' etc., etc.</i>

+					<img src="images/411.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" />

+					</blockquote>

+					<p align="center">With all the Original Illustrations.</p>
+					<h4>1894</h4>

+					<p align="center">Originally published 1877</p>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page339" id="page339" title="339"></a>

+				</td>

+				<td align="left">

+					<p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book4.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" /></a><br />

+					<b>1894 Cover</b><br />Click for larger version.

+					</p>

+					<ul class="tableofcontents" id="book4contents">

+						<li><a href="#laughable"><b>Laughable Lyrics.</b></a>

+							<ul>

+								<li><a href="#dong">The Dong With A Luminous Nose</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a>

+									<ul>

+										<li><a href="#pelicanmusic">sheet music</a></li>

+										<li><a href="music/pelican.pdf">.pdf</a> / <a href="music/pelican.midi">.midi</a> / <a href="music/pelican.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span></li>

+									</ul>

+								</li>

+								<li><a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;</a>

+									<ul>

+										<li><a href="#bomusic">sheet music</a></li>

+										<li><a href="music/yonghy.pdf">.pdf</a> / <a href="music/yonghy.midi">.midi</a> / <a href="music/yonghy.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span></li>

+									</ul>

+								</li>

+								<li><a href="#pobble">The Pobble Who Has No Toes</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#akond">The Akond Of Swat</a></li>

+							</ul>

+						</li>

+						<li><a href="#botany3"><b>Nonsense Botany</b></a></li>

+						<li><a href="#alphabets2"><b>Nonsense Alphabets</b></a>

+							<ul>

+								<li><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a></li>

+								<li><a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a></li>

+							</ul>

+						</li>

+					</ul>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page340" id="page340" title="340"></a>

+	<a class="pagenumber" name="page341" id="page341" title="341"></a>

+	<hr />

+		<div class="subbook" id="laughable">

+			<h2>LAUGHABLE LYRICS.</h2>

+			<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#dong">The Dong with a Luminous Nose</a> <a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a> <a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a> <a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;</a> <a href="#pobble">The Pobble who has no Toes</a> <a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a> <a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a> <a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a> <a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a> <a href="#akond">The Akond of Swat</a>

+			</p>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="dong">

+				<img src="images/405.gif" alt="The Dong with a Luminous Nose" />

+				<h3>THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.</h3>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">W</span>hen awful darkness and silence reign<br />

+				Over the great Gromboolian plain,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Through the long, long wintry nights;</span>

+				When the angry breakers roar<br />

+				As they beat on the rocky shore;<br />

+				<span class="i2">When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights</span>

+				Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,&#8212;

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Then, through the vast and gloomy dark<br />

+				There moves what seems a fiery spark,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">A lonely spark with silvery rays</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page342" id="page342" title="342"></a>

+				<span class="i4">Piercing the coal-black night,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i4">A Meteor strange and bright:</span>

+				<span class="i2">Hither and thither the vision strays,</span>

+				<span class="i4">A single lurid light.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,&#8212;<br />

+				Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps;<br />

+				And ever as onward it gleaming goes<br />

+				A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.<br />

+				And those who watch at that midnight hour<br />

+				From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,<br />

+				Cry, as the wild light passes along,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">"The Dong! the Dong!</span>

+				<span class="i2">The wandering Dong through the forest goes!</span>

+				<span class="i4">The Dong! the Dong!</span>

+				<span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i4">Long years ago</span>

+				<span class="i2">The Dong was happy and gay,</span>

+				Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl<br />

+				<span class="i2">Who came to those shores one day.</span>

+				For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,&#8212;<br />

+				Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd<br />

+				<span class="i4">Where the Oblong Oysters grow,</span>

+				<span class="i2">And the rocks are smooth and gray.</span>

+				And all the woods and the valleys rang<br />

+				With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,&#8212;<br />

+				<i><span class="i6">"Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live;</span>

+				<span class="i6">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span>

+				<span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve."</span></i>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page343" id="page343" title="343"></a>

+				Happily, happily passed those days!<br />

+				<span class="i8">While the cheerful Jumblies staid;</span>

+				<span class="i4">They danced in circlets all night long,</span>

+				<span class="i4">To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,</span>

+				<span class="i8">In moonlight, shine, or shade.</span>

+				For day and night he was always there<br />

+				By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,<br />

+				With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair;<br />

+				Till the morning came of that hateful day<br />

+				When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,<br />

+				And the Dong was left on the cruel shore<br />

+				Gazing, gazing for evermore,&#8212;<br />

+				Ever keeping his weary eyes on<br />

+				That pea-green sail on the far horizon,&#8212;<br />

+				Singing the Jumbly Chorus still<br />

+				As he sate all day on the grassy hill,&#8212;<br />

+				<i><span class="i10">"Far and few, far and few,</span>

+				<span class="i10">Are the lands where the Jumblies live;</span>

+				<span class="i10">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span>

+				<span class="i10">And they went to sea in a sieve."</span></i>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				But when the sun was low in the West,<br />

+				<span class="i4">The Dong arose and said,&#8212;</span>

+				&#8212;"What little sense I once possessed<br />

+				<span class="i4">Has quite gone out of my head!"</span>

+				And since that day he wanders still<br />

+				By lake and forest, marsh and hill,<br />

+				Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain,<br />

+				Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!<br />

+				For ever I'll seek by lake and shore<br />

+				Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!"

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page344" id="page344" title="344"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="i2">Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks;</span>

+				<span class="i2">And because by night he could not see,</span>

+				<span class="i2">He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree</span>

+				<span class="i4">On the flowery plain that grows.</span>

+				<span class="i4">And he wove him a wondrous Nose,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i2">A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!</span>

+				Of vast proportions and painted red,<br />

+				And tied with cords to the back of his head.<br />

+				<span class="i2">&#8212;In a hollow rounded space it ended</span>

+				<span class="i2">With a luminous Lamp within suspended,</span>

+				<span class="i4">All fenced about</span>

+				<span class="i4">With a bandage stout</span>

+				<span class="i4">To prevent the wind from blowing it out;</span>

+				<span class="i2">And with holes all round to send the light</span>

+				<span class="i2">In gleaming rays on the dismal night</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				And now each night, and all night long,<br />

+				Over those plains still roams the Dong;<br />

+				And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe<br />

+				You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,<br />

+				While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,<br />

+				To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;<br />

+				Lonely and wild, all night he goes,&#8212;<br />

+				The Dong with a luminous Nose!<br />

+				And all who watch at the midnight hour,<br />

+				From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,<br />

+				Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,<br />

+				Moving along through the dreary night,&#8212;<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page345" id="page345" title="345"></a>

+				<span class="i2">"This is the hour when forth he goes,</span>

+				<span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Yonder, over the plain he goes,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i4">He goes!</span>

+				<span class="i4">He goes,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!"</span>

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="bachelors">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page346" id="page346" title="346"></a>

+				<img src="images/406.gif" alt="The Two Old Bachelors." />

+				<h3>

+				THE TWO OLD BACHELORS.

+				</h3>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>wo old Bachelors were living in one house;<br />

+				One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.<br />

+				Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,&#8212;<br />

+				"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house,<br />

+				Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,<br />

+				And what to do for dinner&#8212;since we haven't any money?<br />

+				And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner,<br />

+				But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?"

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,&#8212;<br />

+				"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'!<br />

+				If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;<br />

+				But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!"

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town<br />

+				And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down;<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page347" id="page347" title="347"></a>

+				They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found<br />

+				In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north,<br />

+				And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;<br />

+				And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,&#8212;<br />

+				An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page.<br />

+				Climb up, and seize him by the toes,&#8212;all studious as he sits,&#8212;<br />

+				And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits!<br />

+				Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),&#8212;<br />

+				When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good&#8212;perhaps."

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Those two old Bachelors without loss of time<br />

+				The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb;<br />

+				And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook,<br />

+				They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in!<br />

+				We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!"

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book,<br />

+				At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;<br />

+				And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,&#8212;<br />

+				At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town;<br />

+				And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want of Stuffin'),<br />

+				The Mouse had fled&#8212;and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				They left their home in silence by the once convivial door;<br />

+				And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more.

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page348" id="page348" title="348"></a>

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="pelican">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page349" id="page349" title="349"></a>

+				<h3>

+				THE PELICAN CHORUS.

+				</h3>

+				<img src="images/408.gif" alt="The Pelican Chorus" />

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">K</span>ing and Queen of the Pelicans we;<br />

+				No other Birds so grand we see!<br />

+				None but we have feet like fins!<br />

+				With lovely leathery throats and chins!<br />

+				<span class="i2">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span>

+				<span class="i2">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!</span>

+				<span class="i2">We think so then, and we thought so still</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.<br />

+				By night we sleep on the cliffs above;<br />

+				By day we fish, and at eve we stand<br />

+				On long bare islands of yellow sand.<br />

+				And when the sun sinks slowly down,<br />

+				And the great rock walls grow dark and brown,<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page350" id="page350" title="350"></a>

+				Where the purple river rolls fast and dim<br />

+				And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,<br />

+				Wing to wing we dance around,<br />

+				Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound,<br />

+				Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;<br />

+				And this is the song we nightly snort,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Last year came out our Daughter Dell,<br />

+				And all the Birds received her well.<br />

+				To do her honor a feast we made<br />

+				For every bird that can swim or wade,&#8212;<br />

+				Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,<br />

+				Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,<br />

+				Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,<br />

+				Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:<br />

+				Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!<br />

+				They ate and drank and danced all night,<br />

+				And echoing back from the rocks you heard<br />

+				Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Yes, they came; and among the rest<br />

+				The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page351" id="page351" title="351"></a>

+				Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float<br />

+				Between the ends of his blue dress-coat;<br />

+				With pea-green trowsers all so neat,<br />

+				And a delicate frill to hide his feet<br />

+				(For though no one speaks of it, every one knows<br />

+				He has got no webs between his toes).<br />

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,<br />

+				In violent love that Crane King fell,&#8212;<br />

+				On seeing her waddling form so fair,<br />

+				With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair.<br />

+				And before the end of the next long day<br />

+				Our Dell had given her heart away;<br />

+				For the King of the Cranes had won that heart<br />

+				With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.<br />

+				She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,<br />

+				Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;<br />

+				And away they flew in a gathering crowd<br />

+				Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud.<br />

+				<span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span>

+				<span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				And far away in the twilight sky<br />

+				We heard them singing a lessening cry,&#8212;<br />

+				Farther and farther, till out of sight,<br />

+				And we stood alone in the silent night!<br />

+				Often since, in the nights of June,<br />

+				We sit on the sand and watch the moon,&#8212;<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page352" id="page352" title="352"></a>

+				She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain,<br />

+				And we probably never shall meet again!<br />

+				Oft, in the long still nights of June,<br />

+				We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,&#8212;<br />

+				She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore.<br />

+				And we probably never shall see her more.<br />

+				<span class="i2">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span>

+				<span class="i2">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span>

+				<span class="i2">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				<img src="images/407.gif" alt="'Sheet Music: The Pelicans" id="pelicanmusic" /><br />

+				2004: also available as <a href="music/pelican.pdf">.pdf</a>, <a href="music/pelican.midi">.midi</a>, or <a href="music/pelican.ly">Lilypond markup</a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="smaller"><b>NOTE.&#8212;</b>The Air of this and the following Song by Edward Lear; the

+			Arrangement for the Piano by Professor Pom&egrave;, of San Remo, Italy.

+			<a class="pagenumber" name="page353" id="page353" title="353"></a></p>

+			</div>

+

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="bo">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page354" id="page354" title="354"></a>

+				<img src="images/410.gif" alt="The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo" />

+				<h3>

+				THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-B&Ograve;.

+				</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">O</span>n the Coast of Coromandel<br />

+				<span class="i4">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span>

+				<span class="i6">In the middle of the woods</span>

+				<span class="i2">Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				Two old chairs, and half a candle,<br />

+				One old jug without a handle,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">These were all his worldly goods:</span>

+				<span class="i4">In the middle of the woods,</span>

+				<span class="i4">These were all the worldly goods</span>

+				<span class="i2">Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Of the Yonghy-Bonghy B&ograve;.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page355" id="page355" title="355"></a>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">	II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Once, among the Bong-trees walking<br />

+				<span class="i2">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span>

+				<span class="i4">To a little heap of stones</span>

+				<span class="i2">Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				There he heard a Lady talking,<br />

+				To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i6">"'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!</span>

+				<span class="i6">On that little heap of stones</span>

+				<span class="i6">Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"</span>

+				<span class="i4">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!<br />

+				<span class="i2">Sitting where the pumpkins blow,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Will you come and be my wife?"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				"I am tired of living singly"&#8212;<br />

+				On this coast so wild and shingly,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">I'm a-weary of my life;</span>

+				<span class="i4">If you'll come and be my wife,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Quite serene would be my life!"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				"On this Coast of Coromandel<br />

+				<span class="i2">Shrimps and watercresses grow,</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page356" id="page356" title="356"></a>

+				<span class="i4">Prawns are plentiful and cheap,"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				"You shall have my chairs and candle,<br />

+				And my jug without a handle!<br />

+				<span class="i4">Gaze upon the rolling deep</span>

+				<span class="i4">(Fish is plentiful and cheap);</span>

+				<span class="i4">As the sea, my love is deep!"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				Lady Jingly answered sadly,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And her tears began to flow,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i4">"Your proposal comes too late,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				I would be your wife most gladly!"<br />

+				(Here she twirled her fingers madly,)<br />

+				<span class="i4">"But in England I've a mate!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Yes! you've asked me far too late,</span>

+				<span class="i4">For in England I've a mate,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">Handel Jones, Esquire, &amp; Co.)</span>

+				<span class="i4">Dorking fowls delights to send,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle,<br />

+				And your jug without a handle,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i4">I can merely be your friend!</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page357" id="page357" title="357"></a>

+				<span class="i4">Should my Jones more Dorkings send,</span>

+				<span class="i4">I will give you three, my friend!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VII.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Though you've such a tiny body,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And your head so large doth grow,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i4">Though your hat may blow away,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy,<br />

+				Yet I wish that I could modi-<br />

+				<span class="i4">fy the words I needs must say!</span>

+				<span class="i4">Will you please to go away?</span>

+				<span class="i4">That is all I have to say,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-B&ograve;!</span>

+				<span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber"><br />

+				VIII.<br />

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span>

+				<span class="i4">To the calm and silent sea</span>

+				<span class="i2">Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle,<br />

+				Lay a large and lively Turtle.<br />

+				<span class="i4">"You're the Cove," he said, "for me;</span>

+				<span class="i4">On your back beyond the sea,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Turtle, you shall carry me!"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				</p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page358" id="page358" title="358"></a>

+				<img src="images/411.gif" alt="The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo" /><br />

+				<p class="versenumber">IX.</p>

+				<p>

+				Through the silent-roaring ocean<br />

+				<span class="i2">Did the Turtle swiftly go;</span>

+				<span class="i4">Holding fast upon his shell</span>

+				<span class="i2">Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				With a sad primaeval motion<br />

+				Towards the sunset isles of Boshen<br />

+				<span class="i4">Still the Turtle bore him well.</span>

+				<span class="i4">Holding fast upon his shell,</span>

+				<span class="i4">"Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"</span>

+				<span class="i2">Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">X.</p>

+				<p>

+				From the Coast of Coromandel<br />

+				<span class="i2">Did that Lady never go;</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page359" id="page359" title="359"></a>

+				<span class="i4">On that heap of stones she mourns</span>

+				<span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				On that Coast of Coromandel,<br />

+				In his jug without a handle<br />

+				<span class="i4">Still she weeps, and daily moans;</span>

+				<span class="i4">On that little heap of stones</span>

+				<span class="i4">To her Dorking Hens she moans,</span>

+				<span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;,</span>

+				<span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page360" id="page360" title="360"></a>

+				</p>

+				<img src="images/409.gif" alt="Sheet Music: The Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;" id="bomusic" /><br />

+				Also available as <a href="music/yonghy.pdf">.pdf</a>, <a href="music/yonghy.midi">.midi</a>, or <a href="music/yonghy.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span>

+			</div>

+			<div class="longpoem" id="pobble">
+
+				<hr />
+
+				<img src="images/412.gif" alt="The Pobble who has no Toes" />

+				<h3>

+				THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES.

+				</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>he Pobble who has no toes<br />

+				<span class="i2">Had once as many as we;</span>

+				When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;"<br />

+				<span class="i2">He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!"</span>

+				And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink<br />

+				Lavender water tinged with pink;<br />

+				For she said, "The World in general knows<br />

+				There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!"

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>he Pobble who has no toes,<br />

+				<span class="i2">Swam across the Bristol Channel;</span>

+				But before he set out he wrapped his nose<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a piece of scarlet flannel.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page361" id="page361" title="361"></a>

+				For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm<br />

+				Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;<br />

+				And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes<br />

+				Are safe&#8212;provided he minds his nose."

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				The Pobble swam fast and well,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And when boats or ships came near him,</span>

+				He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell<br />

+				<span class="i2">So that all the world could hear him.</span>

+				And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,<br />

+				When they saw him nearing the further side,&#8212;<br />

+				"He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's<br />

+				Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!"

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				But before he touched the shore,&#8212;<br />

+				<span class="i2">The shore of the Bristol Channel,</span>

+				A sea-green Porpoise carried away<br />

+				<span class="i2">His wrapper of scarlet flannel.</span>

+				And when he came to observe his feet,<br />

+				Formerly garnished with toes so neat,<br />

+				His face at once became forlorn<br />

+				On perceiving that all his toes were gone!

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				And nobody ever knew,<br />

+				<span class="i2">From that dark day to the present,</span>

+				Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,<br />

+				<span class="i2">In a manner so far from pleasant.</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page362" id="page362" title="362"></a>

+				Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray,<br />

+				Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,<br />

+				Nobody knew; and nobody knows<br />

+				How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				The Pobble who has no toes<br />

+				<span class="i2">Was placed in a friendly Bark,</span>

+				And they rowed him back, and carried him up<br />

+				<span class="i2">To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.</span>

+				And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,<br />

+				Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;<br />

+				And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,<br />

+				That Pobbles are happier without their toes."<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page363" id="page363" title="363"></a>

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="vestments">

+				<h3>

+				THE NEW VESTMENTS.

+				</h3>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">T</span>here lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,<br />

+				Who invented a purely original dress;<br />

+				And when it was perfectly made and complete,<br />

+				He opened the door and walked into the street.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,<br />

+				In the middle of which he inserted his head;<br />

+				His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,<br />

+				The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;<br />

+				His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;<br />

+				His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;<br />

+				His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;<br />

+				His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;<br />

+				His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,<br />

+				And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;<br />

+				And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,<br />

+				A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,<br />

+				Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;<br />

+				And from every long street and dark lane in the town<br />

+				Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.<br />

+				Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;<br />

+				Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;<br />

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page364" id="page364" title="364"></a>

+				Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,<br />

+				And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;<br />

+				An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore <i>up</i> his<br />

+				Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;<br />

+				And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,<br />

+				Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.<br />

+				He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,<br />

+				For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:<br />

+				They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;<br />

+				They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;<br />

+				And now from the housetops with screechings descend<br />

+				Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end:<br />

+				They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,<br />

+				When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;<br />

+				They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,<br />

+				And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;<br />

+				They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,&#8212;<br />

+				Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,<br />

+				"I will not wear a similar dress any more,<br />

+				Any more, any more, any more, never more!"

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="discobbolos">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page365" id="page365" title="365"></a>

+				<h3>

+				MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS.

+				</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">M</span>r. and Mrs. Discobbolos

+				<span class="i4">Climbed to the top of a wall.</span>

+				<span class="i2">And they sate to watch the sunset sky,</span>

+				<span class="i2">And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,</span>

+				<span class="i4">And the Biscuit Buffalo call.</span>

+				They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,<br />

+				And both were as happy as happy could be,<br />

+				<span class="i8">Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span>

+				<span class="i8">It has just come into my head,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!</span>

+				<span class="i16">Darling Mr. Discobbolos!</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				"Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,<br />

+				<span class="i4">Just like pieces of stone,</span>

+				<span class="i2">On to the thorns, or into the moat,</span>

+				<span class="i2">What would become of your new green coat?</span>

+				<span class="i4">And might you not break a bone?</span>

+				It never occurred to me before,<br />

+				That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"<br />

+				<span class="i8">And Mrs. Discobbolos said,</span>

+				<span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page366" id="page366" title="366"></a>

+				<span class="i8">What put it into your head</span>

+				<span class="i4">To climb up this wall, my own</span>

+				<span class="i16">Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">	III.</p>

+				<p>

+				Mr. Discobbolos answered,<br />

+				<span class="i4">"At first it gave me pain,</span>

+				<span class="i2">And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink</span>

+				<span class="i2">When your exclamation made me think</span>

+				<span class="i4">We might never get down again!</span>

+				But now I believe it is wiser far<br />

+				To remain for ever just where we are."<br />

+				<span class="i8">And Mr. Discobbolos said,</span>

+				<span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span>

+				<span class="i8">It has just come into my head</span>

+				<span class="i4">We shall never go down again,</span>

+				<span class="i16">Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos<br />

+				<span class="i4">Stood up and began to sing,&#8212;</span>

+				<span class="i2">"Far away from hurry and strife</span>

+				<span class="i2">Here we will pass the rest of life,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!</span>

+				We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,<br />

+				No tables nor carpets nor household cares;<br />

+				<span class="i8">From worry of life we've fled;</span>

+				<span class="i8">Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span>

+				<span class="i8">There is no more trouble ahead,</span>

+				<span class="i4">Sorrow or any such thing,</span>

+				<span class="i16">For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page367" id="page367" title="367"></a>

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="quangle">

+				<img src="images/413.gif" alt="The Quangle Wangle's Hat" />

+				<h3>THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.</h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">O</span>n the top of the Crumpetty Tree<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Quangle Wangle sat,</span>

+				But his face you could not see,<br />

+				<span class="i2">On account of his Beaver Hat.</span>

+				For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,<br />

+				With ribbons and bibbons on every side,<br />

+				And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,<br />

+				So that nobody ever could see the face<br />

+				<span class="i6">Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				The Quangle Wangle said<br />

+				<span class="i2">To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,</span>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page368" id="page368" title="368"></a>

+				"Jam, and jelly, and bread<br />

+				<span class="i2">Are the best of food for me!</span>

+				But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree<br />

+				The plainer than ever it seems to me<br />

+				That very few people come this way<br />

+				And that life on the whole is far from gay!"<br />

+				<span class="i6">Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				But there came to the Crumpetty Tree<br />

+				<span class="i2">Mr. and Mrs. Canary;</span>

+				And they said, "Did ever you see<br />

+				<span class="i2">Any spot so charmingly airy?</span>

+				May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?<br />

+				Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!<br />

+				O please let us come and build a nest<br />

+				Of whatever material suits you best,<br />

+				<span class="i6">Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree<br />

+				<span class="i2">Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;</span>

+				The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,<br />

+				<span class="i2">The Frog and the Fimble Fowl</span>

+				(The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);<br />

+				And all of them said, "We humbly beg<br />

+				We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,&#8212;<br />

+				Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!<br />

+				<span class="i6">Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"</span>

+				</p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page369" id="page369" title="369"></a>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				And the Golden Grouse came there,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And the Pobble who has no toes,</span>

+				And the small Olympian bear,<br />

+				<span class="i2">And the Dong with a luminous nose.</span>

+				And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,<br />

+				And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,<br />

+				And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,&#8212;<br />

+				All came and built on the lovely Hat<br />

+				<span class="i6">Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">VI.</p>

+				<p>

+				And the Quangle Wangle said<br />

+				<span class="i2">To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,</span>

+				"When all these creatures move<br />

+				<span class="i2">What a wonderful noise there'll be!"</span>

+				And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon<br />

+				They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,<br />

+				On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,<br />

+				And all were as happy as happy could be,<br />

+				<span class="i6">With the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span>

+				</p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page370" id="page370" title="370"></a>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="cummerbund">

+				<h3>THE CUMMERBUND.<br /><span class="chapterdescription">An Indian Poem.</span></h3>

+				<p class="versenumber">I.</p>

+				<p>

+				<span class="largecap">S</span>he sate upon her Dobie,

+				<span class="i2">To watch the Evening Star,</span>

+				And all the Punkahs, as they passed,

+				<span class="i2">Cried, "My! how fair you are!"</span>

+				Around her bower, with quivering leaves,

+				<span class="i2">The tall Kamsamahs grew,</span>

+				And Kitmutgars in wild festoons

+				<span class="i2">Hung down from Tchokis blue.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">II.</p>

+				<p>

+				Below her home the river rolled

+				<span class="i2">With soft meloobious sound,</span>

+				Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam,

+				<span class="i2">In myriads circling round.</span>

+				Above, on tallest trees remote

+				<span class="i2">Green Ayahs perched alone,</span>

+				And all night long the Mussak moan'd

+				<span class="i2">Its melancholy tone.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">III.</p>

+				<p>

+				And where the purple Nullahs threw

+				<span class="i2">Their branches far and wide,</span>

+								</p>

+				<p>

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page371" id="page371" title="371"></a>

+				And silvery Goreewallahs flew

+				<span class="i2">In silence, side by side,</span>

+				The little Bheesties' twittering cry

+				<span class="i2">Rose on the flagrant air,</span>

+				And oft the angry Jampan howled

+				<span class="i2">Deep in his hateful lair.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">IV.</p>

+				<p>

+				She sate upon her Dobie,

+				<span class="i2">She heard the Nimmak hum,</span>

+				When all at once a cry arose,

+				<span class="i2">"The Cummerbund is come!"</span>

+				In vain she fled: with open jaws

+				<span class="i2">The angry monster followed,</span>

+				And so (before assistance came)

+				<span class="i2">That Lady Fair was swollowed.</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="versenumber">V.</p>

+				<p>

+				They sought in vain for even a bone

+				<span class="i2">Respectfully to bury;</span>

+				They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!"

+				<span class="i2">(And Echo answered, "Very.")</span>

+				They nailed her Dobie to the wall,

+				<span class="i2">Where last her form was seen,</span>

+				And underneath they wrote these words,

+				<span class="i2">In yellow, blue, and green:</span>

+				</p>

+				<p>

+				"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!

+				<span class="i2">Nor sit out late at night,</span>

+				Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,

+				<span class="i2">And swollow you outright."</span>

+				</p>

+				<p class="smaller">

+				<b>NOTE.&#8212;</b>First published in <i>Times of India</i>, Bombay, July, 1874.

+				</p>

+			</div>

+			<hr />

+			<div class="longpoem" id="akond">

+				<a class="pagenumber" name="page372" id="page372" title="372"></a>

+				<h3>THE AKOND OF SWAT.</h3>

+				<table width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5">

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							<span class="largecap">W</span>ho, or why, or which, or <i>what</i>,

+							Is the Akond of SWAT?<br />

+							Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?<br />

+							Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" width="33%" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or SQUAT?<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Is he wise or foolish, young or old?<br />

+							Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" width="33%" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or HOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,<br />

+							And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or TROT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?<br />

+							Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a COT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							When he writes a copy in round-hand size,<br />

+							Does he cross his T's and finish his I's<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							with a DOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Can he write a letter concisely clear<br />

+							Without a speck or a smudge or smear<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or BLOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Do his people like him extremely well?<br />

+							Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or PLOT,<br />

+							At the Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							If he catches them then, either old or young,<br />

+							Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or <i>shot</i>,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Do his people prig in the lanes or park?<br />

+							Or even at times, when days are dark,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center">

+							<p>

+							GAROTTE?<br />

+							O the Akond of Swat!

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he study the wants of his own dominion?<br />

+							Or doesn't he care for public opinion<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							a JOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							To amuse his mind do his people show him<br />

+							Pictures, or any one's last new poem,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or WHAT,<br />

+							For the Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,<br />

+							Do they bring him only a few small cakes,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a LOT,<br />

+							For the Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?<br />

+							Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a DOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he like to lie on his back in a boat<br />

+							Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							SHALLOTT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?<br />

+							Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a SCOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?<br />

+							Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a GROTT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?<br />

+							Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a POT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							<a class="pagenumber" name="page374" id="page374" title="374"></a>

+							Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,<br />

+							When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or ROT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,<br />

+							And tie it neat in a bow with ends,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or a KNOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?<br />

+							When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							or NOT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?<br />

+							Does he sail about on an inland lake,<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							in a YACHT,<br />

+							The Akond of Swat?

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+					<tr>

+						<td align="left" valign="top">

+							<p>

+							Some one, or nobody, knows I wot<br />

+							Who or which or why or what<br /><br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+						<td align="center" valign="bottom">

+							<p>

+							Is the Akond of Swat!<br />

+							</p>

+						</td>

+					</tr>

+			</table>

+			<p class="smaller">

+			<b>NOTE.&#8212;</b>For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, <i>passim</i>.

+			The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the

+			monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus.

+			</p>

+		</div>

+	</div>

+		<hr />
+
+	<div class="subbook" id="botany3">

+	<h2>NONSENSE BOTANY.</h2>

+			<p class="subbookmenu">

+			<a href="#botany3_1">Armchairia Comfortabilis</a> <a href="#botany3_2">Bassia Palealensis</a> <a href="#botany3_3">Bubblia Blowpipia</a> <a href="#botany3_4">Bluebottlia Buzztilentia</a> <a href="#botany3_5">Crabbia Horrida</a> <a href="#botany3_6">Smalltoothcombia Domestica</a> <a href="#botany3_7">Knutmigrata Simplice</a> <a href="#botany3_8">Tureenia Ladlecum</a> <a href="#botany3_9">Puffia Leatherbellowsa</a> <a href="#botany3_10">Queeriflora Baby&ouml;ides</a>

+			</p>

+		<hr />

+		<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="20px" border="0" class="botanygrid">

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page375" id="page375" title="375"></a>

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page376" id="page376" title="376"></a>

+					<img src="images/414.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Armchairia Comfortabilis." id="botany3_1" /><br />

+					Armchairia Comfortabilis.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page377" id="page377" title="377"></a>

+					<img src="images/415.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bassia Palealensis." id="botany3_2" /><br />

+					Bassia Palealensis.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page378" id="page378" title="378"></a>

+					<img src="images/416.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bubblia Blowpipia." id="botany3_3" /><br />

+					Bubblia Blowpipia.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page379" id="page379" title="379"></a>

+					<img src="images/417.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bluebottlia Buzztilentia." id="botany3_4" /><br />

+					Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page380" id="page380" title="380"></a>

+					<img src="images/418.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Crabbia Horrida." id="botany3_5" /><br />

+					Crabbia Horrida.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page381" id="page381" title="381"></a>

+					<img src="images/419.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Smalltoothcombia Domestica." id="botany3_6" /><br />

+					Smalltoothcombia Domestica.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page382" id="page382" title="382"></a>

+					<img src="images/420.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Knutmigrata Simplice." id="botany3_7" /><br />

+					Knutmigrata Simplice.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page383" id="page383" title="383"></a>

+					<img src="images/421.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Tureenia Ladlecum." id="botany3_8" /><br />

+					Tureenia Ladlecum.

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td colspan="2">

+					<hr />

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+			<tr>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page384" id="page384" title="384"></a>

+					<img src="images/422.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Puffia Leatherbellowsa." id="botany3_9" /><br />

+					Puffia Leatherbellowsa.

+				</td>

+				<td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%">

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page385" id="page385" title="385"></a>

+					<img src="images/423.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Queeriflora Baby&ouml;ides." id="botany3_10" /><br />

+					Queeriflora Baby&ouml;ides.

+					<a class="pagenumber" name="page386" id="page386" title="386"></a>

+				</td>

+			</tr>

+		</table>

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="subbook" id="alphabets2">

+		<h2>NONSENSE ALPHABETS.</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a> <a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a>

+		</p>

+
+
+		<div class="chapter" id="alphabet5">
+
+			<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu">

+						<hr />

+						<a href="#a5">a</a> <a href="#b5">b</a> <a href="#c5">c</a> <a href="#d5">d</a> <a href="#e5">e</a> <a href="#f5">f</a> <a href="#g5">g</a> <a href="#h5">h</a> <a href="#i5">i</a> <a href="#j5">j</a> <a href="#k5">k</a> <a href="#l5">l</a> <a href="#m5">m</a> <a href="#n5">n</a> <a href="#o5">o</a> <a href="#p5">p</a> <a href="#q5">q</a> <a href="#r5">r</a> <a href="#s5">s</a> <a href="#t5">t</a> <a href="#u5">u</a> <a href="#v5">v</a> <a href="#w5">w</a> <a href="#x5">x</a> <a href="#y5">y</a> <a href="#z5">z</a>

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="a5">A</p>

+						<img src="images/424.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">A</span> was an Area Arch<br />

+									<span class="i2">Where washerwomen sat;</span>

+									They made a lot of lovely starch<br />

+									<span class="i2">To starch Papa's Cravat.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page388" id="page388" title="388"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="b5">B</p>

+						<img src="images/425.gif" alt="bottle" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left"><p>

+									<span class="largecap">B</span> was a Bottle blue,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Which was not very small;</span>

+									Papa he filled it full of beer,

+									<span class="i2">And then he drank it all.</span>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="c5">C</p>

+						<img src="images/426.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="cat" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">C</span> was Papa's gray Cat,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Who caught a squeaky Mouse;</span>

+									She pulled him by his twirly tail<br />

+									<span class="i2">All about the house.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page390" id="page390" title="390"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="d5">D</p>

+						<img src="images/427.gif" alt="duck" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">D</span> was Papa's white Duck,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Who had a curly tail;</span>

+									One day it ate a great fat frog,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Besides a leetle snail.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page395" id="page395" title="395"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="e5">E</p>

+						<img src="images/428.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="egg" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">E</span> was a little Egg,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Upon the breakfast table;</span>

+									Papa came in and ate it up<br />

+									<span class="i2">As fast as he was able.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page392" id="page392" title="392"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="f5">F</p>

+						<img src="images/429.gif" alt="fish" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">F</span> was a little Fish.<br />

+									<span class="i2">Cook in the river took it</span>

+									Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!<br />

+									<span class="i2">And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page393" id="page393" title="393"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="g5">G</p>

+						<img src="images/430.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="gun" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">G</span> was Papa's new Gun;<br />

+									<span class="i2">He put it in a box;</span>

+									And then he went and bought a bun,<br />

+									<span class="i2">And walked about the Docks.</span>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="h5">H</p>

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page394" id="page394" title="394"></a>

+						<img src="images/431.gif" alt="hat" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">H</span> was Papa's new Hat;<br />

+									<span class="i2">He wore it on his head;</span>

+									Outside it was completely black,<br />

+									<span class="i2">But inside it was red.</span>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="i5">I</p>

+						<img src="images/432.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">I</span> was an Inkstand new,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Papa he likes to use it;</span>

+									He keeps it in his pocket now,<br />

+									<span class="i2">For fear that he should lose it.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page396" id="page396" title="396"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="j5">J</p>

+						<img src="images/433.gif" alt="jam" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">J</span> was some Apple Jam,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Of which Papa ate part;</span>

+									But all the rest he took away<br />

+									<span class="i2">And stuffed into a tart.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page397" id="page397" title="397"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="k5">K</p>

+						<img src="images/434.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">K</span> was a great new Kite;<br />

+									<span class="i2">Papa he saw it fly</span>

+									Above a thousand chimney pots,<br />

+									<span class="i2">And all about the sky.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page398" id="page398" title="398"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="l5">L</p>

+						<img src="images/435.gif" alt="lamp" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">L</span> was a fine new Lamp;<br />

+									<span class="i2">But when the wick was lit,</span>

+									Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!<br />

+									<span class="i2">I cannot read a bit!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page399" id="page399" title="399"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="m5">M</p>

+						<img src="images/436.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="mince" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">M</span> was a dish of mince;<br />

+									<span class="i2">It looked so good to eat!</span>

+									Papa, he quickly ate it up,<br />

+									<span class="i2">And said, "This is a treat!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page400" id="page400" title="400"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="n5">N</p>

+						<img src="images/437.gif" alt="nut" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">N</span> was a Nut that grew<br />

+									<span class="i2">High up upon a tree;</span>

+									Papa, who could not reach it, said,<br />

+									<span class="i2">"That's <i>much</i> too high for me!"</span>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="o5">O</p>

+						<img src="images/438.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="owl" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">O</span> was an Owl who flew<br />

+									<span class="i2">All in the dark away,</span>

+									Papa said, "What an owl you are!<br />

+									<span class="i2">Why don't you fly by day?"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page402" id="page402" title="402"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="p5">P</p>

+						<img src="images/439.gif" alt="pig" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">P</span> was a little Pig,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Went out to take a walk;</span>

+									Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,<br />

+									<span class="i2">He'd all turn into Pork!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page403" id="page403" title="403"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="q5">Q</p>

+						<img src="images/440.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="quince" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Q</span> was a Quince that hung<br />

+									<span class="i2">Upon a garden tree;</span>

+									Papa he brought it with him home,<br />

+									<span class="i2">And ate it with his tea.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page404" id="page404" title="404"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="r5">R</p>

+						<img src="images/441.gif" alt="rug" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">R</span> was a Railway Rug<br />

+									<span class="i2">Extremely large and warm;</span>

+									Papa he wrapped it round his head,<br />

+									<span class="i2">In a most dreadful storm.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page405" id="page405" title="405"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="s5">S</p>

+						<img src="images/442.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="stick" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">S</span> was Papa's new Stick,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Papa's new thumping Stick,</span>

+									To thump extremely wicked boys,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Because it was so thick.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page406" id="page406" title="406"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="t5">T</p>

+						<img src="images/443.gif" alt="tumbler" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">T</span> was a tumbler full<br />

+									<span class="i2">Of Punch all hot and good;</span>

+									Papa he drank it up, when in<br />

+									<span class="i2">The middle of a wood.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page407" id="page407" title="407"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="u5">U</p>

+						<img src="images/444.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="urn" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">U</span> was a silver urn,<br />

+									<span class="i2">Full of hot scalding water;</span>

+									Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,<br />

+									<span class="i2">I'd give it to my daughter!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page408" id="page408" title="408"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="v5">V</p>

+						<img src="images/445.gif" alt="villain" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">V</span> was a Villain; once<br />

+									<span class="i2">He stole a piece of beef.</span>

+									Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!<br />

+									<span class="i2">That Villain is a Thief!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page409" id="page409" title="409"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="w5">W</p>

+						<img src="images/446.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="watch" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">W</span> was a Watch of Gold:<br />

+									<span class="i2">It told the time of day,</span>

+									So that Papa knew when to come,<br />

+									<span class="i2">And when to go away.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page410" id="page410" title="410"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="x5">X</p>

+						<img src="images/447.gif" alt="xerxes" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">X</span> was King Xerxes, whom<br />

+									<span class="i2">Papa much wished to know;</span>

+									But this he could not do, because<br />

+									<span class="i2">Xerxes died long ago.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page415" id="page415" title="415"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2">

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="y5">Y</p>

+						<img src="images/448.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="youth" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Y</span> was a Youth, who kicked<br />

+									<span class="i2">And screamed and cried like mad;</span>

+									Papa he said, "Your conduct is<br />

+									<span class="i2">Abominably bad!"</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page412" id="page412" title="412"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+					<td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center">

+						<p class="largeletter" id="z5">Z</p>

+						<img src="images/449.gif" alt="zebra" class="alphaimage" />

+						<table summary="Nonsense Books">

+							<tr>

+								<td align="left">

+									<p>

+									<span class="largecap">Z</span> was a Zebra striped<br />

+									<span class="i2">And streaked with lines of black;</span>

+									Papa said once, he thought he'd like<br />

+									<span class="i2">A ride upon his back.</span>

+									<a class="pagenumber" name="page413" id="page413" title="413"></a>

+									</p>

+								</td>

+							</tr>

+						</table>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+			</table>

+		</div>

+		<div class="chapter" id="alphabet6">

+			<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid">

+				<tr>

+					<td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu">

+						<hr />

+						<a href="#a6">a</a> <a href="#b6">b</a> <a href="#c6">c</a> <a href="#d6">d</a> <a href="#e6">e</a> <a href="#f6">f</a> <a href="#g6">g</a> <a href="#h6">h</a> <a href="#i6">i</a> <a href="#j6">j</a> <a href="#k6">k</a> <a href="#l6">l</a> <a href="#m6">m</a> <a href="#n6">n</a> <a href="#o6">o</a> <a href="#p6">p</a> <a href="#q6">q</a> <a href="#r6">r</a> <a href="#s6">s</a> <a href="#t6">t</a> <a href="#u6">u</a> <a href="#v6">v</a> <a href="#w6">w</a> <a href="#x6">x</a> <a href="#y6">y</a> <a href="#z6">z</a>

+						<hr />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="a6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/a.gif" alt="A" align="middle" />tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood,

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="b6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/b.gif" alt="B" align="middle" />said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="c6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/c.gif" alt="C" align="middle" />said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="d6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/d.gif" alt="D" align="middle" />said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="e6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/e.gif" alt="E" align="middle" />said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="f6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/f.gif" alt="F" align="middle" />said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="g6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/g.gif" alt="G" align="middle" />said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="h6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/h.gif" alt="H" align="middle" />said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="i6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/i.gif" alt="I" align="middle" />said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="j6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/j.gif" alt="J" align="middle" />said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="k6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/k.gif" alt="K" align="middle" />said, "A Kangaroo is here,&#8212;this picture let him see."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="l6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/l.gif" alt="L" align="middle" />said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="m6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/m.gif" alt="M" align="middle" />said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="n6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/n.gif" alt="N" align="middle" />said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="o6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/o.gif" alt="O" align="middle" />said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="p6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/p.gif" alt="P" align="middle" />

+						<a class="pagenumber" name="page414" id="page414" title="414"></a>

+						P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="q6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/q.gif" alt="Q" align="middle" />said, "A Quince I recommend,&#8212;a Quince, or else a Quail."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="r6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/r.gif" alt="R" align="middle" />said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail."

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="s6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/s.gif" alt="S" align="middle" />said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="t6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/t.gif" alt="T" align="middle" />said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="u6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/u.gif" alt="U" align="middle" />said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="v6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/v.gif" alt="V" align="middle" />said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="w6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/w.gif" alt="W" align="middle" />said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="x6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/x.gif" alt="X" align="middle" />said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="y6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/y.gif" alt="Y" align="middle" />said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!"

+						</p>

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+				<tr>

+					<td align="left">

+						<p id="z6">

+						<img src="images/alphabet/z.gif" alt="Z" align="middle" />said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!<br />

+						<span class="i9">We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little master!</span>

+						<span class="i9">We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad disaster!"</span>

+						</p>

+						<br />

+						<br />

+						<br />

+						<br />

+					</td>

+				</tr>

+			</table>

+		</div>

+	</div>

+</div>

+<div class="book" id="indices">

+	<hr />

+	<table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip">

+		<tr>

+			<td height="30">

+				&nbsp;

+			</td>

+		</tr>

+	</table>

+	<hr />

+	<h1>Index</h1>

+	<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#indexfirstlines">First Lines</a> <a href="#indexalphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a> <a href="#indexbotany">Nonsense Botanies</a> <a href="#indexpoems">Nonsense Songs and Stories</a>

+	</p>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="index" id="indexfirstlines">

+		<h2>An Index of First Lines</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#indexalphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a> <a href="#indexbotany">Nonsense Botanies</a> <a href="#indexpoems">Nonsense Songs and Stories</a> <a href="#collectioncontents">Table of Contents</a>

+		</p>

+		<ul class="tableofcontents">

+			<li><a href="#a6">A tumbled down,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#a5">A was an Area Arch</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#a1">A was an ant</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#a3">A was an ape,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#a2">A was once an apple-pie,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#a4">The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b6">B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b5">B was a Bottle blue,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b3">B was a bat,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b1">B was a book</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b2">B was once a little bear,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#b4">The Bountiful Beetle,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#broomshovelpoker">The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c6">C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c5">C was Papa's gray Cat,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c3">C was a camel:</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c1">C was a cat</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c2">C was once a little cake,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#calico">Calico pie, the little birds fly</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#c4">The Comfortable Confidential Cow,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d6">D said, "A Doctor should be fetched,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d5">D was Papa's white Duck,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d3">D was a dove,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d1">D was a duck</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d2">D was once a little doll,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#d4">The Dolomphious Duck,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e6">E said, "An Egg beat up with milk</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e5">E was a little Egg,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e3">E was an eagle,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e1">E was an elephant,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e2">E was once a little eel,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#e4">The Enthusiastic Elephant,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x4">The Excellent Double-extra XX</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f6">F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f3">F was a fan</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f1">F was a fish</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f5">F was a little Fish.</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f2">F was once a little fish,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#f4">The Fizzgiggious Fish,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g6">G said, "Green Gooseberry fool,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g5">G was Papa's new Gun;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g1">G was a goat</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g3">G was a gooseberry,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g2">G was once a little goose,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#g4">The Good-natured Grey Gull,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h6">H said, "His Hat should be kept on,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h5">H was Papa's new Hat;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h1">H was a hat</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h3">H was a heron,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h2">H was once a little hen,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#h4">The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#pleasant">"How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i6">I said, "Some Ice upon his head</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i5">I was an Inkstand new,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i3">I was an inkstand,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i2">I was once a bottle of ink</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i1">I was some ice</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#pipple">In former days,that is to say, once upon a time,there lived in the Land of Gramble-Blamble seven families. </a></li>

+			<li><a href="#i4">The Inventive Indian,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j6">J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j1">J was a jackdaw</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j3">J was a jug,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j2">J was once a jar of jam,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j5">J was some Apple Jam,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#j4">The Judicious Jubilant Jay,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k6">K said, "A Kangaroo is here,&#8212;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k5">K was a great new Kite;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k3">K was a kingfisher:</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k1">K was a kite</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k2">K was once a little kite,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#k4">The Kicking Kangaroo,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#pelican">King and Queen of the Pelicans we;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l6">L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l5">L was a fine new Lamp;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l1">L was a light</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l3">L was a lily,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l2">L was once a little lark,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#l4">The Lively Learned Lobster,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m6">M said, "A Mulberry or two</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m5">M was a dish of mince;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m3">M was a man,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m1">M was a mill</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m2">M was once a little mouse,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#m4">The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#discobbolos">Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n6">N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n1">N was a net</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n5">N was a Nut that grew</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n3">N was a nut</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n2">N was once a little needle,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#nutandsugar">The Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#n4">The Nutritious Newt,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o6">O said, "An Owl might make him laugh,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o1">O was an orange</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o3">O was an oyster,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o5">O was an Owl who flew</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o2">O was once a little owl,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#o4">The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#sparrows">On a little piece of wood,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#bo">On the Coast of Coromandel</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#quangle">On the top of the Crumpetty Tree</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#daddyandfly">Once Mr. Daddy Long-legs,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#children">Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little people whose names were Violet, Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#owlandpussy">The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p6">P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p5">P was a little Pig,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p1">P was a pig,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p3">P was a polly,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p2">P was once a little pump,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#p4">The Perpendicular Purple Polly,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#pobble">The Pobble who has no toes</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q6">Q said, "A Quince I recommend,&#8212;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q5">Q was a Quince that hung</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q1">Q was a quail</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q3">Q was a quill</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q2">Q was once a little quail,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#q4">The Queer Querulous Quail,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r6">R said, "Some Rats might make him move,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r5">R was a Railway Rug</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r1">R was a rabbit,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r3">R was a rattlesnake,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r2">R was once a little rose,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#r4">The Rural Runcible Raven,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s6">S said, "A Song should now be sung,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s5">S was Papa's new Stick,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s2">S was once a little shrimp,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s3">S was a screw</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s1">S was the sugar-tongs,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#duckandkangaroo">Said the Duck to the Kangaroo,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#tableandchair">Said the Table to the Chair,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#s4">The Scroobious Snake,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#cummerbund">She sate upon her Dobie,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t6">T said, "A Turnip might avail,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t3">T was a thimble,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t1">T was a tortoise,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t5">T was a tumbler full</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t2">T was once a little thrush,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_76">There is a young lady, whose nose,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#vestments">There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_89">There was a Young Girl of Majorca,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_34">There was a Young Lady of Bute,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_98">There was a Young Lady of Clare,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_99">There was a Young Lady of Dorking,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_65">There was a Young Lady of Hull,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_51">There was a Young Lady of Lucca,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_31">There was a Young Lady of Norway,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_92">There was a Young Lady of Parma,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_90">There was a Young Lady of Poole,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_12">There was a Young Lady of Portugal,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_68">There was a Young Lady of Russia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_111">There was a Young Lady of Ryde,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_84">There was a Young Lady of Sweden,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_64">There was a Young Lady of Troy,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_95">There was a Young Lady of Turkey,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_69">There was a Young Lady of Tyre,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_80">There was a Young Lady of Wales,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_81">There was a Young Lady of Welling,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_112">There was a Young Lady whose bonnet</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_10">There was a Young Lady whose chin</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_110">There was a Young Lady whose eyes</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_30">There was a Young Lady whose nose</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_97">There was a Young Person of Crete,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_2">There was a Young Person of Smyrna,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_39">There was a young lady in blue,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_28">There was a young lady in white,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_86">There was a young lady of Corsica,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_87">There was a young lady of Firle,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_66">There was a young lady of Greenwich,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_25">There was a young person in green,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_33">There was a young person in pink,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_31">There was a young person in red,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_74">There was a young person of Ayr,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_1">There was a young person of Bantry,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_45">There was a young person of Janina,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_96">There was a young person of Kew,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_80">There was a young person whose history</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_intro">There was an Old Derry down Derry,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_9">There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_91">There was an Old Lady of Prague,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_57">There was an Old Lady whose folly</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_2">There was an Old Man at a Junction,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_15">There was an Old Man in a boat,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_106">There was an Old Man in a casement,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_61">There was an Old Man in a pew,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_8">There was an Old Man in a tree,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_96">There was an Old Man of A&ocirc;sta</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_32">There was an Old Man of Apulia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_76">There was an Old Man of Berlin,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_53">There was an Old Man of Bohemia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_46">There was an Old Man of Calcutta,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_100">There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_52">There was an Old Man of Coblenz,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_7">There was an Old Man of Columbia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_54">There was an Old Man of Corfu,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_56">There was an Old Man of Dundee,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_62">There was an Old Man of Jamaica,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_73">There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_6">There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_60">There was an Old Man of Leghorn,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_19">There was an Old Man of Madras,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_28">There was an Old Man of Marseilles,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_49">There was an Old Man of Melrose,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_17">There was an Old Man of Moldavia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_43">There was an Old Man of Nepaul,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_38">There was an Old Man of Peru,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_108">There was an Old Man of Peru.</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_33">There was an Old Man of Quebec,&#8212;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_55">There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_14">There was an Old Man of Vienna,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_83">There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_45">There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_86">There was an Old Man of the Cape,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_72">There was an Old Man of the Coast,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_50">There was an Old Man of the Dee,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_71">There was an Old Man of the East,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_102">There was an Old Man of the Hague,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_23">There was an Old Man of the Isles,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_44">There was an Old Man of the Nile,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_39">There was an Old Man of the North,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_48">There was an Old Man of the South,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_27">There was an Old Man of the West,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_77">There was an Old Man of the West,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_29">There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_3">There was an Old Man on a hill,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_58">There was an Old Man on some rocks,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_94">There was an Old Man on whose nose</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_63">There was an Old Man who said, "How</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_67">There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_104">There was an Old Man who said, "Well!</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_25">There was an Old Man who supposed</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_109">There was an Old Man with a beard,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_75">There was an Old Man with a beard,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_11">There was an Old Man with a flute,&#8212;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_5">There was an Old Man with a gong,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_1">There was an Old Man with a nose,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_36">There was an Old Man with a poker,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_105">There was an Old Man with an Owl,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_79">There was an Old Person of Anerley,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_70">There was an Old Person of Bangor,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_24">There was an Old Person of Basing,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_16">There was an Old Person of Buda,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_87">There was an Old Person of Burton,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_22">There was an Old Person of Cadiz,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_78">There was an Old Person of Cheadle</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_85">There was an Old Person of Chester,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_4">There was an Old Person of Chili,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_20">There was an Old Person of Dover,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_66">There was an Old Person of Dutton,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_88">There was an Old Person of Ems</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_107">There was an Old Person of Ewell,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_74">There was an Old Person of Gretna,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_18">There was an Old Person of Hurst,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_13">There was an Old Person of Ischia,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_21">There was an Old Person of Leeds,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_41">There was an Old Person of Mold,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_35">There was an Old Person of Phil&#339;,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_37">There was an Old Person of Prague,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_59">There was an Old Person of Rheims,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_47">There was an Old Person of Rhodes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_103">There was an Old Person of Spain,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_93">There was an Old Person of Sparta,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_82">There was an Old Person of Tartary,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_42">There was an Old Person of Tring,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_40">There was an Old Person of Troy,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_26">There was an Old Person whose habits</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_84">There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_40">There was an old Man in a Garden,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme1_101">There was an old Person of Cromer,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_34">There was an old lady of France,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_22">There was an old man at a Station,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_19">There was an old man in a Marsh,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_7">There was an old man in a barge,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_85">There was an old man in a tree,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_71">There was an old man of Ancona,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_91">There was an old man of Blackheath,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_89">There was an old man of Boulak,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_46">There was an old man of Cashmere,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_14">There was an old man of Dee-side</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_58">There was an old man of Dumblane,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_51">There was an old man of Dumbree,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_13">There was an old man of Dunluce,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_8">There was an old man of Dunrose;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_60">There was an old man of El Hums,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_24">There was an old man of Hong Kong,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_54">There was an old man of Ibreem,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_100">There was an old man of Messina,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_59">There was an old man of Port Grigor,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_49">There was an old man of Spithead,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_78">There was an old man of Thames Ditton,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_4">There was an old man of Thermopylae,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_23">There was an old man of Three Bridges,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_9">There was an old man of Toulouse</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_61">There was an old man of West Dumpet,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_16">There was an old man of the Dargle</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_50">There was an old man on the Border,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_6">There was an old man on the Humber,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_27">There was an old man who screamed out</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_63">There was an old man whose despair</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_53">There was an old man whose remorse</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_92">There was an old man, who when little</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_15">There was an old person in black,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_70">There was an old person in gray,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_95">There was an old person of Bar,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_64">There was an old person of Barnes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_73">There was an old person of Blythe,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_81">There was an old person of Bow,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_79">There was an old person of Bray,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_10">There was an old person of Bree,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_99">There was an old person of Brigg,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_20">There was an old person of Brill,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_11">There was an old person of Bromley,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_98">There was an old person of Bude,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_67">There was an old person of Cannes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_47">There was an old person of Cassel,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_18">There was an old person of China,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_83">There was an old person of Crowle,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_5">There was an old person of Deal,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_38">There was an old person of Dean</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_30">There was an old person of Down,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_93">There was an old person of Dundalk,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_77">There was an old person of Ealing,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_26">There was an old person of Fife,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_52">There was an old person of Filey,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_42">There was an old person of Florence,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_56">There was an old person of Grange,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_32">There was an old person of Hove,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_69">There was an old person of Hyde,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_68">There was an old person of Ickley,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_97">There was an old person of Jodd,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_36">There was an old person of Loo,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_3">There was an old person of Minety,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_57">There was an old person of Newry,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_65">There was an old person of Nice,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_48">There was an old person of Pett,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_17">There was an old person of Pinner,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_41">There was an old person of Pisa,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_35">There was an old person of Putney,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_75">There was an old person of Rimini,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_82">There was an old person of Rye,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_62">There was an old person of Sark,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_72">There was an old person of Sestri,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_43">There was an old person of Sheen,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_12">There was an old person of Shields,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_94">There was an old person of Shoreham,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_90">There was an old person of Skye,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_29">There was an old person of Slough,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_88">There was an old person of Stroud,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_44">There was an old person of Ware,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_21">There was an old person of Wick,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_55">There was an old person of Wilts,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#rhyme2_37">There was an old person of Woking,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#jumblies">They went to sea in a sieve, they did;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#t4">The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#bachelors">Two old Bachelors were living in one house;</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u6">U said, "An Urn, with water hot</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u5">U was a silver urn,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u3">U was an upper-coat,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u1">U was an urn</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u2">U was once a little urn,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#u4">The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v6">V said, "I'll stand upon a chair,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v3">V was a veil</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v5">V was a Villain; once</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v1">V was a villa</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v2">V was once a little vine,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#v4">The Visibly Vicious Vulture,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w6">W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w5">W was a Watch of Gold:</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w3">W was a watch,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w1">W was a whale</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w2">W was once a whale,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#dong">When awful darkness and silence reign</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#akond">Who, or why, or which, or <i>what</i></a></li>

+			<li><a href="#w4">The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x6">X said, "Some double XX ale</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x5">X was King Xerxes, whom</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x1">X was King Xerxes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x3">X was King Xerxes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#x2">X was once a great king Xerxes,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y6">Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y3">Y was a yak,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y1">Y was a yew,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y5">Y was a Youth, who kicked</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y2">Y was once a little yew,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#y4">The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z6">Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc!</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z5">Z was a Zebra striped</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z3">Z was a zebra,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z2">Z was once a piece of zinc,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z1">Z was some zinc,</a></li>

+			<li><a href="#z4">The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,</a></li>

+		</ul>

+

+	</div>

+	<hr />

+	<div class="index" id="indexalphabets">

+		<h2>An Index of Nonsense Alphabets by Edward Lear.</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#indexfirstlines">First Lines</a> <a href="#indexbotany">Nonsense Botanies</a> <a href="#indexpoems">Nonsense Songs and Stories</a> <a href="#collectioncontents">Table of Contents</a>

+		</p>

+		<ul class="tableofcontents">

+			<li><b>Alphabets</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet1">No. 1</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet2">No. 2</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet3">No. 3</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet4">No. 4</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a></li>

+				</ul>

+			</li>

+			<li><b>By Letter</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li>

+						<a href="#a1">ant</a>

+						<a href="#a3">ape</a>

+						<a href="#a2">apple-pie</a>

+						<a href="#a5">arch</a>

+						<a href="#a6">arm</a>

+						<a href="#a4">ass</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#b3">bat</a>

+						<a href="#b2">bear</a>

+						<a href="#b4">beetle</a>

+						<a href="#b1">book</a>

+						<a href="#b5">bottle</a>

+						<a href="#b6">boy</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#c2">cake</a>

+						<a href="#c3">camel</a>

+						<a href="#c1">cat</a>

+						<a href="#c5">cat</a>

+						<a href="#c6">coffee</a>

+						<a href="#c4">cow</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#d6">doctor</a>

+						<a href="#d2">doll</a>

+						<a href="#d3">dove</a>

+						<a href="#d1">duck</a>

+						<a href="#d4">duck</a>

+						<a href="#d5">duck</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#e3">eagle</a>

+						<a href="#e2">eel</a>

+						<a href="#e5">egg</a>

+						<a href="#e6">egg</a>

+						<a href="#e1">elephant</a>

+						<a href="#e4">elephant</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#f3">fan</a>

+						<a href="#f1">fish</a>

+						<a href="#f2">fish</a>

+						<a href="#f4">fish</a>

+						<a href="#f5">fish</a>

+						<a href="#f6">fish</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#g1">goat</a>

+						<a href="#g2">goose</a>

+						<a href="#g3">gooseberry</a>

+						<a href="#g6">gooseberry</a>

+						<a href="#g4">gull</a>

+						<a href="#g5">gun</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#h1">hat</a>

+						<a href="#h5">hat</a>

+						<a href="#h6">hat</a>

+						<a href="#h2">hen</a>

+						<a href="#h4">hen</a>

+						<a href="#h3">heron</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#i1">ice</a>

+						<a href="#i6">ice</a>

+						<a href="#i4">indian</a>

+						<a href="#i2">ink</a>

+						<a href="#i3">inkstand</a>

+						<a href="#i5">inkstand</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#j1">jackdaw</a>

+						<a href="#j2">jam</a>

+						<a href="#j5">jam</a>

+						<a href="#j6">jam</a>

+						<a href="#j4">jay</a>

+						<a href="#j3">jug</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#k4">kangaroo</a>

+						<a href="#k6">kangaroo</a>

+						<a href="#k3">kingfisher</a>

+						<a href="#k1">kite</a>

+						<a href="#k2">kite</a>

+						<a href="#k5">kite</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#l5">lamp</a>

+						<a href="#l6">lamp</a>

+						<a href="#l2">lark</a>

+						<a href="#l1">light</a>

+						<a href="#l3">lily</a>

+						<a href="#l4">lobster</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#m3">man</a>

+						<a href="#m1">mill</a>

+						<a href="#m5">mince</a>

+						<a href="#m2">mouse</a>

+						<a href="#m4">mouse</a>

+						<a href="#m6">mulberry</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#n2">needle</a>

+						<a href="#n1">net</a>

+						<a href="#n4">newt</a>

+						<a href="#n5">nut</a>

+						<a href="#n3">nut</a>

+						<a href="#n6">nuts</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#o1">orange</a>

+						<a href="#o4">ostrich</a>

+						<a href="#o2">owl</a>

+						<a href="#o5">owl</a>

+						<a href="#o6">owl</a>

+						<a href="#o3">oyster</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#p1">pig</a>

+						<a href="#p5">pig</a>

+						<a href="#p6">poetry</a>

+						<a href="#p3">polly</a>

+						<a href="#p4">polly</a>

+						<a href="#p2">pump</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#q1">quail</a>

+						<a href="#q2">quail</a>

+						<a href="#q3">quail</a>

+						<a href="#q4">quill</a>

+						<a href="#q5">quince</a>

+						<a href="#q6">quince</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#r1">rabbit</a>

+						<a href="#r6">rats</a>

+						<a href="#r3">rattlesnake</a>

+						<a href="#r4">raven</a>

+						<a href="#r2">rose</a>

+						<a href="#r5">rug</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#s3">screw</a>

+						<a href="#s2">shrimp</a>

+						<a href="#s4">snake</a>

+						<a href="#s6">song</a>

+						<a href="#s5">stick</a>

+						<a href="#s1">sugar-tongs</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#t3">thimble</a>

+						<a href="#t2">thrush</a>

+						<a href="#t1">tortoise</a>

+						<a href="#t4">tortoise</a>

+						<a href="#t5">tumbler</a>

+						<a href="#t6">turnip</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#u4">umbrella-maker</a>

+						<a href="#u3">upper-coat</a>

+						<a href="#u1">urn</a>

+						<a href="#u2">urn</a>

+						<a href="#u5">urn</a>

+						<a href="#u6">urn</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#v3">veil</a>

+						<a href="#v1">villa</a>

+						<a href="#v5">villain</a>

+						<a href="#v2">vine</a>

+						<a href="#v6">violin</a>

+						<a href="#v4">vulture</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#w4">wasp</a>

+						<a href="#w3">watch</a>

+						<a href="#w5">watch</a>

+						<a href="#w1">whale</a>

+						<a href="#w2">whale</a>

+						<a href="#w6">whisky-whizzigigs</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#x1">Xerxes</a>

+						<a href="#x2">Xerxes</a>

+						<a href="#x3">Xerxes</a>

+						<a href="#x4">Xerxes</a>

+						<a href="#x5">Xerxes</a>

+						<a href="#x6">XX ale</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#y3">yak</a>

+						<a href="#y6">yeast</a>

+						<a href="#y1">yew</a>

+						<a href="#y2">yew</a>

+						<a href="#y4">Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo</a>

+						<a href="#y5">youth</a>

+					</li>

+

+					<li>

+						<a href="#z3">zebra</a>

+						<a href="#z5">zebra</a>

+						<a href="#z6">zebra</a>

+						<a href="#z1">zinc</a>

+						<a href="#z2">zinc</a>

+						<a href="#z6">zinc</a>

+					</li>

+				</ul>

+			</li>

+		</ul>

+	</div>

+	<hr />
+
+	<div class="index" id="indexbotany">

+		<h2>An Index of Nonsense Botanies by Edward Lear.</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#indexfirstlines">First Lines</a> <a href="#indexalphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a> <a href="#indexpoems">Nonsense Songs and Stories</a> <a href="#collectioncontents">Table of Contents</a>

+		</p>

+		<ul class="tableofcontents">

+			<li><b>Botanies</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li><a href="#botany">No. 1</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2">No. 2</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3">No. 3</a></li>

+				</ul>

+			</li>

+			<li><b>Species</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_1">Armchairia Comfortabilis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_5">Arthbroomia Rigida</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_1">Baccopipia Gracilis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_1">Barkia Howlaloudia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_2">Bassia Palealensis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_4">Bluebottlia Buzztilentia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_2">Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_3">Bubblia Blowpipia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_3">Cockatooca Superba</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_5">Crabbia Horrida</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_2">Enkoopia Chickabiddia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_4">Fishia Marina</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_5">Guittara Pensilis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_3">Jinglia Tinkettlia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_7">Knutmigrata Simplice</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_6">Manypeeplia Upsidownia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_7">Minspysia Deliciosa</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_4">Nasticreechia Krorluppia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_7">Phattfacia Stupenda</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_8">Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_9">Plumbunnia Nutritiosa</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany1_10">Pollybirdia Singularis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_9">Puffia Leatherbellowsa</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_10">Queeriflora Baby&ouml;ides</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_8">Shoebootia Utilis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_6">Smalltoothcombia Domestica</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_6">Sophtsluggia Glutinosa</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_9">Stunnia Dinnerbellia</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_10">Tickia Orologica</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_12">Tigerlillia Terribilis</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany3_8">Tureenia Ladlecum</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#botany2_11">Washtubbia Circularis</a></li>

+				</ul>

+			</li>

+		</ul>

+	</div>

+	<hr />
+
+	<div class="index" id="indexpoems">

+		<h2>An Index of Nonsense Songs and Stories by Edward Lear.</h2>

+		<p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#indexfirstlines">First Lines</a> <a href="#indexalphabets">Nonsense Alphabets</a> <a href="#indexbotany">Nonsense Botanies</a> <a href="#collectioncontents">Table of Contents</a>

+		</p>

+		<ul class="tableofcontents">

+			<li><b>Songs</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li><a href="#akond">The Akond of Swat</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#broomshovelpoker">The Broom, the Shovel, the Poker, and the Tongs</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#calico">Calico Pie</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#daddyandfly">The Daddy Long-Legs and the Fly</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#dong">The Dong with a Luminous Nose</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#duckandkangaroo">The Duck and the Kangaroo</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#jumblies">The Jumblies</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#sparrows">Mr. and Mrs. Spikky Sparrow</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#nutandsugar">The Nutcrackers and the Sugar-Tongs</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#owlandpussy">The Owl and the Pussy-Cat</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#pobble">The Pobble who has no Toes</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#tableandchair">The Table And The Chair</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-B&ograve;</a></li>

+				</ul>

+			</li>

+			<li><b>Stories</b>

+				<ul>

+					<li><a href="#children">The Story of the Four Little Children who Went Round the World</a></li>

+					<li><a href="#pipple">The History of the Seven Families of the Lake Pipple-Popple</a></li>

+				</ul>

+				</li>

+			</ul>

+	</div>

+</div>

+<br />

+<br />

+<hr class="pg" />

+<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NONSENSE BOOKS***</p>

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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/426.gif b/old/13650-h/images/426.gif
new file mode 100644
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/a.gif b/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/a.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/c.gif b/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/c.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/e.gif b/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/e.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/f.gif b/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/f.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/h.gif b/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/h.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/i.gif b/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/i.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/j.gif b/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/j.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/l.gif b/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/l.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/m.gif b/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/m.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/o.gif b/old/13650-h/images/alphabet/o.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book1.gif b/old/13650-h/images/bookcovers/book1.gif
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/bullet.gif b/old/13650-h/images/bullet.gif
new file mode 100644
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--- /dev/null
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diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/dedication.gif b/old/13650-h/images/dedication.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c4aac46
--- /dev/null
+++ b/old/13650-h/images/dedication.gif
diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/learstrip.gif b/old/13650-h/images/learstrip.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..38d3f84
--- /dev/null
+++ b/old/13650-h/images/learstrip.gif
diff --git a/old/13650-h/images/pleasant.gif b/old/13650-h/images/pleasant.gif
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d8735c5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/old/13650-h/images/pleasant.gif
diff --git a/old/13650-h/music/pelican.ly b/old/13650-h/music/pelican.ly
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e0257fe
--- /dev/null
+++ b/old/13650-h/music/pelican.ly
@@ -0,0 +1,126 @@
+%[**This page is marked up in lilypond notation.**]
+%#(set-global-staff-size 10)
+\paper  {
+  papersize = "letter"
+}
+\version "2.2.0"
+\header {
+%  dedication = "dedication"
+  title = "The Pelicans"
+%  subtitle = "subtitle"
+%  subsubtitle = "Subsubtitle"
+%  composer = "Composer (xxxx-yyyy)"
+%  opus = "Opus 0"
+%  piece = "Piece I"
+%  instrument = "Instrument"
+%  arranger = "Arranger"
+%  poet = "Poet"
+%  texttranslator = "Translator"
+%  copyright = "public domain"
+%  source =  "urtext "
+  enteredby = "Stan Goodman"
+%  maintainerEmail = "your email here"
+%  texidoc = "The standard header that ought to be above a file."
+}
+
+melody = \notes { \relative c'' {
+  \dynamicUp
+  \time 6/8
+  \key e \major
+  b4\< gis8\! e'8.\> dis16 cis8\! | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | b4\< b8 b4 b8\! | b4\> b8 b4\!
+  r8
+  | \break
+  b4\< gis8\! e'8.\> dis16 cis8\! | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | \grace { gis4 } b4
+  fis8
+  fis b cis | dis4 cis8 b4 r8 \bar"||" \break
+  b,4^\markup \italic "Coro--piu sostenuto." gis'8 gis fis gis | b, e fis gis4 b,8 | e4 gis8 gis4 b8 | b8
+  a8
+  gis8 fis4 r8 | \break
+  b,4 dis8 fis eis fis | b, fis' gis a4 gis8 | cis4 b8 a8 gis fis
+  |
+  gis4 fis8 e4 r8 \bar "||"
+} }
+
+text = \lyrics {
+King and Queen of the Peli -- cans we, No other birds so grand we
+see!
+None but we have _ feet like fins with love -- ly lea -- the -- ry
+throats and chins,
+Ploff -- skin, Pluff _ -- skin, Pe -- li -- can Jee! we think no
+birds
+so hap -- py as we!
+Plump -- skin, Ploff _ -- skin, Pe -- li -- can Jill! We think to
+then, and we thought so still!
+}
+
+upper = \notes { \relative c'' {
+  \time 6/8
+  \key e \major
+   << { b4 gis8 e'8. dis16 cis8 } \\ { e,4. e4. } >> | << { b'4 b8
+   gis4 r8 | b4 b8 b4 b8 | b4 b8 b4 r8 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4 s8 | <b
+   fis'>4. <fis' a> | <e gis> <dis fis>4 s8 } >> |
+  << { b'4 gis8 e'8. dis16 cis8 | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | b4 fis8 fis b
+  cis | dis4 cis8 b4 r8 } \\ { e,4. e | e e4 s8 | dis4 dis8 dis4 e8 | <<
+  {
+  fis4. ~ fis4 } \\ { fis4 e8 dis4 s8 } >> } >>  \bar"||"
+  s4 gis8 gis fis gis | b, e fis gis4 << { s8 e4 fis8 } \\ { b,8 ~
+  b4.} >> << { gis'4 b8 } \\ { e,4. } >> | <gis b>8 <fis a> <e
+  gis>
+  <dis fis>4 r8 | \break
+  b4 dis8 fis eis fis | b, fis' gis a4 gis8 | << { cis4 b8 a8 gis
+  fis
+  } \\ { e2. } >> | << { <e gis>4 <dis fis>8 e4 r8 } \\ { b4. b4
+  s8 }
+  >> \bar "||"
+} }
+
+lower = \notes { \relative c {
+  \time 6/8
+  \key e \major
+  << { gis'4 e8 cis'8. b16 a8 | gis4. b4 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4. | e4. ~
+  e4
+  } >> r8 | <b b'>4 b'8 b4 b8 | b4 b8 b4 r8 |
+  << { gis4 e8 cis'8. b16 a8 | gis4. b4 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4. | e4. ~
+  e4 }
+  >> r8 | << { b'4 fis8 fis4. ~ | fis4 ais8 b4 } \\ { <b, fis'>
+  fis8
+  fis4. | fis'4. <b, fis'>4 } >> r8 \bar "||"
+  << { b'4 s4 s4 } \\ <e,, b' e>2. \\ <gis' b>2. >> | << <gis b>2.
+  \\
+  <e, b' e>2. >> | << { gis'4. b4. | b4. ~ b4 } \\ { e,4. e4. |
+  b4. ~
+  b4 } >> r8 |
+  << { b'2. | b4. ~ b4 } \\ { <b, dis a'>2. | <b dis a'>4. ~ <b
+  dis
+  a'>4 } >> e8 | a4 gis8 cis b a | << { b,4 a'8 gis4 } \\ { b, s8
+  e4 }
+  >> r8 \bar "||"
+} }
+
+\score {
+  <<
+    \addlyrics
+      \context Staff = mel {
+        \set Staff.autoBeaming = ##f
+	\set Staff.instrument = "Canto.  "
+         \unset Staff.melismaBusyProperties 
+        \melody
+      }
+      \context Lyrics \text
+
+    \context PianoStaff
+    \set Staff.instrument = "Piano.  "
+    <<
+      \context Staff = upper \upper
+      \context Staff = lower <<
+	\clef bass
+	\lower
+      >>
+    >>
+  >>
+  \paper {
+	  pagenumber=no
+    \context { \RemoveEmptyStaffContext }
+  }
+  \midi { \tempo 4=120 }
+}
diff --git a/old/13650-h/music/pelican.midi b/old/13650-h/music/pelican.midi
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2f0786d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/old/13650-h/music/pelican.midi
diff --git a/old/13650-h/music/pelican.pdf b/old/13650-h/music/pelican.pdf
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9497a00
--- /dev/null
+++ b/old/13650-h/music/pelican.pdf
diff --git a/old/13650-h/music/yonghy.ly b/old/13650-h/music/yonghy.ly
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8266e46
--- /dev/null
+++ b/old/13650-h/music/yonghy.ly
@@ -0,0 +1,149 @@
+% From Edward Lear's "Complete Nonsense".
+% Transcription to Lilypond for Project Gutenberg and Distributed Proofreaders.
+% No copyrights apply.
+
+
+\version "2.2.5"
+
+#(ly:set-point-and-click 'line-column)
+
+\header {
+	title = "The Yonghy Bonghy Bò."
+}
+
+
+verse= \lyrics {
+	On the coast of Co -- ro -- man -- del,
+	where the ear -- ly pump -- kins grow,
+	In the midd -- le of the woods
+	lived the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò.
+	Two old chairs and half a cand -- le,
+	One old jug with -- out a hand -- le,
+	These were all his world -- ly goods,
+	In the midd -- le of the woods,
+	These were all the world -- ly goods,
+	of the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò,
+	of the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò.
+}
+ 
+
+staffVoice = \new Staff \notes {
+	\time 2/4
+	\set Staff.instrument="Canto."
+	\set Staff.midiInstrument="voice oohs"
+	\key e \major
+	\clef treble
+	\relative c' {
+		\context Voice = "melodyVoi" {
+			\autoBeamOff
+			\partial 16*2 		
+			e16 fis 		gis8. fis16 gis8. a16 		gis8 fis r8 dis16. e32
+			fis8. fis16 e8 fis	gis4 r8 gis 16 gis		ais8 ais gis ais
+			b4 r8 b16. b32		cis8 gis ais fis		b4 r8 b16. b32 
+			b8. ais16 b8. cis16	b8\( a\) r a16. a32		a8. gis16 a8. b16
+			a8 gis r gis16. gis32	gis8 gis fis e			fis4 r8 cis'16. cis32
+			cis8 cis cis cis	b4 b8. cis16			b8. a16 b8. a16 
+			gis4 r8 e16. fis32	gis8. a16 fis8. gis16		e4 b8. e16
+			gis8. e16 gis8. fis16	e4 r
+		}
+
+	\bar "|."
+	}
+
+}
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@@ -0,0 +1,6879 @@
+The Project Gutenberg eBook, Nonsense Books, by Edward Lear
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: Nonsense Books
+
+Author: Edward Lear
+
+Release Date: October 8, 2004  [eBook #13650]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK NONSENSE BOOKS***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney, A. Deubelbeiss, Stan
+Goodman, and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which
+      includes the original illustrations and music clips as well as
+      midi, pdf, and lilypond files.
+      See 13650-h.htm or 13650-h.zip:
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/5/13650/13650-h/13650-h.htm)
+      or
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/5/13650/13650-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOOKS
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+With all the Original Illustrations
+
+1894
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+PUBLISHERS' NOTICE.
+The first _Book of Nonsense_ was published in 1846. Three other volumes,--
+_Nonsense Songs, Stories, etc._, published in 1871; _More Nonsense
+Pictures, etc._, in 1872; and _Laughable Lyrics: A Fresh Book of Nonsense,
+etc._, in 1877,--comprise all the "Nonsense Books" written by Mr. Lear.
+
+
+
+
+  "Surely the most beneficent and innocent of all books
+  yet produced is the _Book of Nonsense_, with its corollary
+  carols, inimitable and refreshing, and perfect in rhythm.
+  I really don't know any author to whom I am half so
+  grateful for my idle self as Edward Lear. I shall put
+  him first of my hundred authors."
+
+  JOHN RUSKIN,
+
+    In the _List of the Best Hundred Authors_.
+
+
+
+[Illustration: EDWARD LEAR. ENGRAVED BY ANDREW FROM A PHOTOGRAPH TAKEN IN
+SAN REMO, BY RONCAROLO.]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+   I.   A BOOK OF NONSENSE.
+   II.  NONSENSE SONGS, STORIES, BOTANY, AND ALPHABETS.
+   III. MORE NONSENSE PICTURES, RHYMES, BOTANY, ETC.
+   IV.  LAUGHABLE LYRICS:
+        A FRESH BOOK OF NONSENSE POEMS, SONGS, BOTANY, ETC.
+
+
+[Illustration: QUI LEGIT REGIT.]
+
+
+
+
+The following lines by Mr. Lear were written for a young lady of his
+acquaintance, who had quoted to him the words of a young lady not of his
+acquaintance,
+
+  "How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"
+
+      "How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!"
+        Who has written such volumes of stuff!
+      Some think him ill-tempered and queer,
+        But a few think him pleasant enough.
+
+      His mind is concrete and fastidious,
+        His nose is remarkably big;
+      His visage is more or less hideous,
+        His beard it resembles a wig.
+
+      He has ears, and two eyes, and ten fingers,
+        Leastways if you reckon two thumbs;
+      Long ago he was one of the singers,
+        But now he is one of the dumbs.
+
+      He sits in a beautiful parlor,
+        With hundreds of books on the wall;
+      He drinks a great deal of Marsala,
+        But never gets tipsy at all.
+
+      He has many friends, lay men and clerical,
+        Old Foss is the name of his cat;
+      His body is perfectly spherical,
+        He weareth a runcible hat.
+
+      When he walks in waterproof white,
+        The children run after him so!
+      Calling out, "He's come out in his night-
+        Gown, that crazy old Englishman, oh!"
+
+      He weeps by the side of the ocean,
+        He weeps on the top of the hill;
+      He purchases pancakes and lotion,
+        And chocolate shrimps from the mill.
+
+      He reads, but he cannot speak, Spanish,
+        He cannot abide ginger beer:
+      Ere the days of his pilgrimage vanish,
+        How pleasant to know Mr. Lear!
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+Edward Lear, the artist, Author of "Journals of a Landscape Painter" in
+various out-of-the-way countries, and of the delightful "Books of
+Nonsense," which have amused successive generations of children, died on
+Sunday, January 29, 1888, at San Remo, Italy, where he had lived for twenty
+years. Few names could evoke a wider expression of passing regret at their
+appearance in the obituary column; for until his health began to fail he
+was known to an immense and almost a cosmopolitan circle of acquaintance,
+and popular wherever he was known. Fewer still could call up in the minds
+of intimate friends a deeper and more enduring feeling of sorrow for
+personal loss, mingled with the pleasantest of memories; for it was
+impossible to know him thoroughly and not to love him. London, Rome, the
+Mediterranean countries generally, Ceylon and India, are still all dotted
+with survivors among his generation who will mourn for him affectionately,
+although his latter years were spent in comparatively close retirement. He
+was a man of striking nobility of nature, fearless, independent, energetic,
+given to forming for himself strong opinions, often hastily, sometimes
+bitterly; not always strong or sound in judgment, but always seeking after
+truth in every matter, and following it as he understood it in scorn of
+consequence; utterly unselfish, devoted to his friends, generous even to
+extravagance towards any one who had ever been connected with his fortunes
+or his travels; playful, light-hearted, witty, and humorous, but not
+without those occasional fits of black depression and nervous irritability
+to which such temperaments are liable.
+
+Great and varied as the merits of his pictures are, Lear hardly succeeded
+in achieving any great popularity as a landscape-painter. His work was
+frequently done on private commission, and he rarely sent in pictures for
+the Academy or other exhibitions. His larger and more highly finished
+landscapes were unequal in technical perfection,--sometimes harsh or cold
+in color, or stiff in composition; sometimes full of imagination, at others
+literal and prosaic,--but always impressive reproductions of interesting or
+peculiar scenery. In later years he used in conversation to qualify himself
+as a "topographical artist;" and the definition was true, though not
+exhaustive. He had an intuitive and a perfectly trained eye for the
+character and beauty of distant mountain lines, the solemnity of rocky
+gorges, the majesty of a single mountain rising from a base of plain or
+sea; and he was equally exact in rendering the true forms of the middle
+distances and the specialties of foreground detail belonging to the various
+lands through which he had wandered as a sketcher. Some of his pictures
+show a mastery which has rarely been equalled over the difficulties of
+painting an immense plain as seen from a height, reaching straight away
+from the eye of the spectator until it is lost in a dim horizon. Sir
+Roderick Murchison used to say that he always understood the geological
+peculiarities of a country he had only studied in Lear's sketches. The
+compliment was thoroughly justified; and it is not every landscape-painter
+to whom it could honestly be paid.
+
+The history of Lear's choice of a career was a curious one. He was the
+youngest of twenty-one children, and, through a family mischance, was
+thrown entirely on the limited resources of an elderly sister at a very
+early age. As a boy he had always dabbled in colors for his own amusement,
+and had been given to poring over the ordinary boys' books upon natural
+history. It occurred to him to try to turn his infant talents to account;
+and he painted upon cardboard a couple of birds in the style which the
+older among us remember as having been called Oriental tinting, took them
+to a small shop, and sold them for fourpence. The kindness of friends, to
+whom he was ever grateful, gave him the opportunity of more serious and
+more remunerative study, and he became a patient and accurate zooelogical
+draughtsman. Many of the birds in the earlier volumes of Gould's
+magnificent folios were drawn for him by Lear. A few years back there were
+eagles alive in the Zooelogical Gardens in Regent's Park to which Lear could
+point as old familiar friends that he had drawn laboriously from claw to
+beak fifty years before. He united with this kind of work the more
+unpleasant occupation of drawing the curiosities of disease or deformity in
+hospitals. One day, as he was busily intent on the portrait of a bird in
+the Zooelogical Gardens, an old gentleman came and looked over his shoulder,
+entered into conversation, and finally said to him, "You must come and draw
+my birds at Knowsley." Lear did not know where Knowsley was, or what it
+meant; but the old gentleman was the thirteenth Earl of Derby. The
+successive Earls of Derby have been among Lear's kindest and most generous
+patrons. He went to Knowsley, and the drawings in the "Knowsley Menagerie"
+(now a rare and highly-prized work among book collectors) are by Lear's
+hand. At Knowsley he became a permanent favorite; and it was there that he
+composed in prolific succession his charming and wonderful series of
+utterly nonsensical rhymes and drawings. Lear had already begun seriously
+to study landscape. When English winters began to threaten his health, Lord
+Derby started a subscription which enabled him to go to Rome as a student
+and artist, and no doubt gave him recommendations among Anglo-Roman
+society which laid the foundations of a numerous _clientele_. It was in the
+Roman summers that Lear first began to exercise the taste for pictorial
+wandering which grew into a habit and a passion, to fill vivid and copious
+note-books as he went, and to illustrate them by spirited and accurate
+drawings; and his first volume of "Illustrated Excursions in Italy,"
+published in 1846, is gratefully dedicated to his Knowsley patron.
+
+Only those who have travelled with him could know what a delightful comrade
+he was to men whose tastes ran more or less parallel to his own. It was not
+everybody who could travel with him; for he was so irrepressibly anxious
+not to lose a moment of the time at his disposal for gathering into his
+garners the beauty and interest of the lands over which he journeyed, that
+he was careless of comfort and health. Calabria, Sicily, the Desert of
+Sinai, Egypt and Nubia, Greece and Albania, Palestine, Syria, Athos,
+Candia, Montenegro, Zagori (who knows now where Zagori is, or was?), were
+as thoroughly explored and sketched by him as the more civilized localities
+of Malta, Corsica, and Corfu. He read insatiably before starting all the
+recognized guide-books and histories of the country he intended to draw;
+and his published itineraries are marked by great strength and literary
+interest quite irrespectively of the illustrations. And he had his reward.
+It is not any ordinary journalist and sketcher who could have compelled
+from Tennyson such a tribute as lines "To E.L. on his Travels in Greece":--
+
+    "Illyrian woodlands, echoing falls
+      Of water, sheets of summer glass,
+      The long divine Peneian pass,
+    The vast Akrokeraunian walls,
+
+    "Tomohrit, Athos, all things fair,
+      With such a pencil, such a pen,
+      You shadow forth to distant men,
+    I read and felt that I was there."
+
+Lear was a man to whom, as to Tennyson's Ulysses,
+
+    "All experience is an arch wherethrough
+    Gleams that untravelled world."
+
+After settling at San Remo, and when he was nearly sixty years old, he
+determined to visit India and Ceylon. He started once and failed, being
+taken so ill at Suez that he was obliged to return. The next year he
+succeeded, and brought away some thousands of drawings of the most striking
+views from all three Presidencies and from the tropical island. His
+appetite for travel continued to grow with what it fed upon; and although
+he hated a long sea-voyage, he used seriously to contemplate as possible a
+visit to relations in New Zealand. It may safely, however, be averred that
+no considerations would have tempted him to visit the Arctic regions.
+
+    A hard-working life, checkered by the odd adventures which happen
+    to the odd and the adventurous and pass over the commonplace; a
+    career brightened by the high appreciation of unimpeachable
+    critics; lightened, till of late, by the pleasant society and good
+    wishes of innumerable friends; saddened by the growing pressure of
+    ill health and solitude; cheered by his constant trust in the love
+    and sympathy of those who knew him best, however far away,--such
+    was the life of Edward Lear.
+
+      --_The London Saturday Review,_ Feb. 4, 1888.
+
+Among the writers who have striven with varying success during the last
+thirty or forty years to awaken the merriment of the "rising generation" of
+the time being, Mr. Edward Lear occupies the first place in seniority, if
+not in merit. The parent of modern nonsense-writers, he is distinguished
+from all his followers and imitators by the superior consistency with which
+he has adhered to his aim,--that of amusing his readers by fantastic
+absurdities, as void of vulgarity or cynicism as they are incapable of
+being made to harbor any symbolical meaning. He "never deviates into
+sense;" but those who appreciate him never feel the need of such deviation.
+He has a genius for coining absurd names and words, which, even when they
+are suggested by the exigencies of his metre, have a ludicrous
+appropriateness to the matter in hand. His verse is, with the exception of
+a certain number of cockney rhymes, wonderfully flowing and even
+melodious--or, as he would say, _meloobious_--while to all these
+qualifications for his task must finally be added the happy gift of
+pictorial expression, enabling him to double, nay, often to quadruple, the
+laughable effect of his text by an inexhaustible profusion of the quaintest
+designs. Generally speaking, these designs are, as it were, an idealization
+of the efforts of a clever child; but now and then--as in the case of the
+nonsense-botany--Mr. Lear reminds us what a genuine and graceful artist he
+really is. The advantage to a humorist of being able to illustrate his own
+text has been shown in the case of Thackeray and Mr. W.S. Gilbert, to
+mention two familiar examples; but in no other instance of such a
+combination have we discovered such geniality as is to be found in the
+nonsense-pictures of Mr. Lear. We have spoken above of the melodiousness of
+Mr. Lear's verses, a quality which renders them excellently suitable for
+musical setting, and which has not escaped the notice of the author
+himself. We have also heard effective arrangements, presumably by other
+composers, of the adventures of the Table and the Chair, and of the cruise
+of the Owl and the Pussy-cat,--the latter introduced into the "drawing-room
+entertainment" of one of the followers of John Parry. Indeed, in these days
+of adaptations, it is to be wondered at that no enterprising librettist has
+attempted to build a children's comic opera out of the materials supplied
+in the four books with which we are now concerned. The first of these,
+originally published in 1846, and brought out in an enlarged form in 1863,
+is exclusively devoted to nonsense-verses of one type. Mr. Lear is careful
+to disclaim the credit of having created this type, for he tells us in the
+preface to his third book that "the lines beginning, 'There was an old man
+of Tobago,' were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+leading itself to limitless variety for Rhymes and Pictures." Dismissing
+the further question of the authorship of "There was an old man of Tobago,"
+we propose to give a few specimens of Mr. Lear's Protean powers as
+exhibited in the variation of this simple type. Here, to begin with, is a
+favorite verse, which we are very glad to have an opportunity of giving, as
+it is often incorrectly quoted, "cocks" being substituted for "owls" in the
+third line:
+
+    "There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, 'It is just as I feared!
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard!'"
+
+With the kindly fatalism which is the distinctive note of the foregoing
+stanza, the sentiment of our next extract is in vivid contrast:--
+
+
+    "There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was terribly bored by a bee;
+    When they said, 'Does it buzz?' he replied, 'Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee.'"
+
+To the foregoing verse an historic interest attaches, if, that is, we are
+right in supposing it to have inspired Mr. Gilbert with his famous
+"Nonsense-Rhyme in Blank Verse." We quote from memory:--
+
+    "There was an Old Man of St. Bees,
+    Who was stung in the arm by a wasp.
+    When they asked, 'Does it hurt?' he replied, 'No, it doesn't,
+    But I thought all the while 'twas a Hornet!'"
+
+Passing over the lines referring to the "Young Person" of Crete to whom the
+epithet "ombliferous" is applied, we may be pardoned--on the ground of the
+geographical proximity of the two countries named--for quoting together two
+stanzas which in reality are separated by a good many pages:--
+
+    "There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the doors queezed her flat, she exclaimed, 'What of that?'
+    This courageous young person of Norway."
+
+    "There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, 'Weedon Station!' she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden."
+
+A noticeable feature about this first book, and one which we think is
+peculiar to it, is the harsh treatment which the eccentricities of the
+inhabitants of certain towns appear to have met with at the hands of their
+fellow-residents. No less than three people are "smashed,"--the Old Man of
+Whitehaven "who danced a quadrille with a Raven;" the Old Person of Buda;
+and the Old Man with a gong "who bumped at it all the day long," though in
+the last-named case we admit that there was considerable provocation.
+Before quitting the first "Nonsense-Book," we would point out that it
+contains one or two forms that are interesting; for instance, "scroobious,"
+which we take to be a Portmanteau word, and "spickle-speckled," a favorite
+form of reduplication with Mr. Lear, and of which the best specimen occurs
+in his last book, "He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled the bell." The second book,
+published in 1871, shows Mr. Lear in the maturity of sweet desipience, and
+will perhaps remain the favorite volume of the four to grown-up readers.
+The nonsense-songs are all good, and "The Story of the Four little Children
+who went Round the World" is the most exquisite piece of imaginative
+absurdity that the present writer is acquainted with. But before coming to
+that, let us quote a few lines from "The Jumblies," who, as all the world
+knows, went to sea in a sieve:--
+
+      "They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,
+      To a land all covered with trees.
+    And they bought an Owl, and a useful Cart,
+    And a pound of Rice, and a Cranberry Tart,
+      And a hive of silvery Bees.
+    And they bought a Pig, and some green Jack-Daws,
+    And a lovely Monkey with lollipop paws,
+    And forty bottles of Ring-Bo-Ree,
+      And no end of Stilton Cheese.
+        _Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live.
+        Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve._
+    And in twenty years they all came back,
+      In twenty years or more,
+    And every one said, 'How tall they've grown!
+    For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
+      And the hills of the Chankly Bore.'"
+
+From the pedestrian excursion of the Table and the Chair, we cannot resist
+making a brief quotation, though in this, as in every case, the inability
+to quote the drawings also is a sad drawback:--
+
+    "So they both went slowly down,
+    And walked about the town,
+    With a cheerful bumpy sound,
+    As they toddled round and round.
+    And everybody cried,
+    As they hastened to their side,
+    'See, the Table and the Chair
+    Have come out to take the air!'
+
+    "But in going down an alley
+    To a castle in a valley,
+    They completely lost their way,
+    And wandered all the day,
+    Till, to see them safely back,
+    They paid a Ducky-Quack,
+    And a Beetle and a Mouse,
+    Who took them to their house.
+
+    "Then they whispered to each other,
+    'O delightful little brother,
+    What a lovely walk we've taken!
+    Let us dine on Beans and Bacon!'
+    So the Ducky and the leetle
+    Browny-Mousy, and the Beetle
+    Dined, and danced upon their heads,
+    Till they toddled to their beds."
+
+"The Story of the Four little Children who went Round the World" follows
+next, and the account of the manner in which they occupied themselves while
+on shipboard may be transcribed for the benefit of those unfortunate
+persons who have not perused the original: "During the day-time Violet
+chiefly occupied herself in putting salt-water into a churn, while her
+three brothers churned it violently in the hope it would turn into butter,
+which it seldom if ever did." After journeying for a time, they saw some
+land at a distance, "and when they came to it they found it was an island
+made of water quite surrounded by earth. Besides that it was bordered by
+evanescent isthmuses with a great Gulf-Stream running about all over it, so
+that it was perfectly beautiful, and contained only a single tree, five
+hundred and three feet high." In a later passage, we read how "by-and-by
+the children came to a country where there were no houses, but only an
+incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks, and of a
+dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue bottles
+contained a bluebottlefly, and all these interesting animals live
+continually together in the most copious and rural harmony, nor perhaps in
+many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found."
+Our last quotation from this inimitable recital shall be from the
+description of their adventure on a great plain where they espied an object
+which "on a nearer approach and on an accurately cutaneous inspection,
+seemed to be somebody in a large white wig sitting on an arm-chair made of
+sponge-cake and oyster-shells." This turned out to be the "Co-operative
+Cauliflower," who, "while the whole party from the boat was gazing at him
+with mingled affection and disgust ... suddenly arose, and in a somewhat
+plumdomphious manner hurried off towards the setting sun, his steps
+supported by two superincumbent confidential cucumbers ... till he finally
+disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a crystal cloud of sudorific
+sand. So remarkable a sight of course impressed the four children very
+deeply; and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong sense of
+undeveloped asthma and a great appetite."
+
+In his third book, Mr. Lear takes occasion in an entertaining preface to
+repudiate the charge of harboring any ulterior motive beyond that of
+"Nonsense pure and absolute" in any of his verses or pictures, and tells a
+delightful anecdote illustrative of the "persistently absurd report" that
+the Earl of Derby was the author of the first book of "Nonsense." In this
+volume he reverts once more to the familiar form adopted in his original
+efforts, and with little falling off. It is to be remarked that the third
+division is styled "Twenty-Six Nonsense Rhymes and Pictures," although
+there is no more rhyme than reason in any of the set. Our favorite
+illustrations are those of the "Scroobious Snake who always wore a Hat on
+his Head, for fear he should bite anybody," and the "Visibly Vicious
+Vulture who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a Volume bound in
+Vellum." In the fourth and last of Mr. Lear's books, we meet not only with
+familiar words, but personages and places,--old friends like the Jumblies,
+the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, the Quangle Wangle, the hills of the Chankly Bore,
+and the great Gromboolian plain, as well as new creations, such as the Dong
+with a luminous Nose, whose story is a sort of nonsense version of the love
+of Nausicaa for Ulysses, only that the sexes are inverted. In these verses,
+graceful fancy is so subtly interwoven with nonsense as almost to beguile
+us into feeling a real interest in Mr. Lear's absurd creations. So again in
+the Pelican chorus there are some charming lines:--
+
+    "By day we fish, and at eve we stand
+    On long bare islands of yellow sand.
+    And when the sun sinks slowly down,
+    And the great rock-walls grow dark and brown,
+    When the purple river rolls fast and dim,
+    And the ivory Ibis starlike skim,
+    Wing to wing we dance around," etc.
+
+The other nonsense-poems are all good, but we have no space for further
+quotation, and will take leave of our subject by propounding the following
+set of examination questions which a friend who is deeply versed in Mr.
+Lear's books has drawn up for us:--
+
+  1. What do you gather from a study of Mr. Lear's works to
+     have been the prevalent characteristics of the inhabitants of
+     Gretna, Prague, Thermopylae, Wick, and Hong Kong?
+
+  2. State briefly what historical events are connected with
+     Ischia, Chertsey, Whitehaven, Boulak, and Jellibolee.
+
+  3. Comment, with illustrations, upon Mr. Lear's use of the
+     following words: Runcible, propitious, dolomphious, borascible,
+     fizzgiggious, himmeltanious, tumble-dum-down, spongetaneous.
+
+  4. Enumerate accurately all the animals who lived on the
+     Quangle Wangle's Hat, and explain how the Quangle Wangle
+     was enabled at once to enlighten his five travelling companions
+     as to the true nature of the Co-operative Cauliflower.
+
+  5. What were the names of the five daughters of the Old
+     Person of China, and what was the purpose for which the
+     Old Man of the Dargle purchased six barrels of Gargle?
+
+  6. Collect notices of King Xerxes in Mr. Lear's works, and
+     state your theory, if you have any, as to the character and
+     appearance of Nupiter Piffkin.
+
+  7. Draw pictures of the Plum-pudding flea, and the Moppsikon
+     Floppsikon Bear, and state by whom waterproof tubs
+     were first used.
+
+  8.         "There was an old man at a station
+               Who made a promiscuous oration."
+
+     What bearing may we assume the foregoing couplet to have
+     upon Mr. Lear's political views?
+                                   --_The London Spectator_.
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+A BOOK OF NONSENSE
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR.
+
+With All the Original Pictures and Verses
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+There was an Old Derry down Derry, who loved to see little folks
+  merry;
+    So he made them a Book, and with laughter they shook
+      At the fun of that Derry down Derry.
+
+
+
+                 Original Dedication.
+
+                       TO THE
+ GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES
+           OF EDWARD, 13TH EARL OF DERBY,
+          THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES
+
+     (The greater part of which were originally
+         made and composed for their parents.)
+
+               Is Dedicated by the Author,
+                                          EDWARD LEAR.
+
+       London, 1862.
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a nose,
+    Who said, "If you choose to suppose
+    That my nose is too long, you are certainly wrong!"
+    That remarkable Man with a nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Smyrna,
+    Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;
+    But she seized on the Cat, and said, "Granny, burn that!
+    You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on a hill,
+    Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
+    He ran up and down in his Grandmother's gown,
+    Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chili,
+    Whose conduct was painful and silly;
+    He sate on the stairs, eating apples and pears,
+    That imprudent Old Person of Chili.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a gong,
+    Who bumped at it all the day long;
+    But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
+    Who never had more than a penny;
+    He spent all that money in onions and honey,
+    That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Columbia,
+    Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;
+    But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot,
+    Which disgusted that man of Columbia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
+    When they said, "Does it buzz?" he replied, "Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,
+    Who made a remarkable curtsey;
+    She twirled round and round, till she sank underground,
+    Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose chin
+    Resembled the point of a pin;
+    So she had it made sharp, and purchased a harp,
+    And played several tunes with her chin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a flute,--
+    A "sarpint" ran into his boot!
+    But he played day and night, till the "sarpint" took flight,
+    And avoided that Man with a flute.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
+    Whose ideas were excessively nautical;
+    She climbed up a tree to examine the sea,
+    But declared she would never leave Portugal.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ischia,
+    Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;
+    He danced hornpipes and jigs, and ate thousands of figs,
+    That lively Old Person of Ischia
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vienna,
+    Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;
+    When that did not agree, he took Camomile Tea,
+    That nasty Old Man of Vienna.
+
+    [Illustraion]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a boat,
+    Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"
+    When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint,
+    That unhappy Old Man in a boat.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Buda,
+    Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,
+    Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.
+    By smashing that Person of Buda.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
+    Who had the most curious behavior;
+    For while he was able, he slept on a table,
+    That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Hurst,
+    Who drank when he was not athirst;
+    When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"
+    That globular Person of Hurst.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Madras,
+    Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;
+    But the length of its ears so promoted his fears,
+    That it killed that Old Man of Madras.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dover,
+    Who rushed through a field of blue clover;
+    But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees,
+    So he very soon went back to Dover.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Leeds,
+    Whose head was infested with beads;
+    She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool,
+    Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cadiz,
+    Who was always polite to all ladies;
+    But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water,
+    Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Isles,
+    Whose face was pervaded with smiles;
+    He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle,
+    That amiable Man of the Isles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Basing,
+    Whose presence of mind was amazing;
+    He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed,
+    And escaped from the people of Basing.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who supposed
+    That the street door was partially closed;
+    But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats,
+    While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person whose habits
+    Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;
+    When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green,
+    Upon which he relinquished those habits.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who wore a pale plum-colored vest;
+    When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!"
+    That uneasy Old Man of the West.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Marseilles,
+    Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils:
+    They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish,
+    And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,
+    Whose shoes made a horrible creaking;
+    But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather,
+    Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose nose
+    Was so long that it reached to her toes;
+    So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady,
+    To carry that wonderful nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?"
+    This courageous Young Lady of Norway.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Apulia,
+    Whose conduct was very peculiar;
+    He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns,
+    That whimsical Man of Apulia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Quebec,--
+    A beetle ran over his neck;
+    But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!"
+    That angry Old Man of Quebec.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Bute,
+    Who played on a silver-gilt flute;
+    She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs:
+    That amusing Young Lady of Bute.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Philoe,
+    Whose conduct was scroobious and wily;
+    He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm,
+    And observed all the ruins of Philoe.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a poker,
+    Who painted his face with red ochre.
+    When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply,
+    But knocked them all down with his poker.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Prague,
+    Who was suddenly seized with the plague;
+    But they gave him some butter, which caused him to mutter,
+    And cured that Old Person of Prague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru,
+    Who watched his wife making a stew;
+    But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake
+    That unfortunate Man of Peru.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the North,
+    Who fell into a basin of broth;
+    But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook,
+    Which saved that Old Man of the North.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Troy,
+    Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,
+    Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon,
+    In sight of the city of Troy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Mold,
+    Who shrank from sensations of cold;
+    So he purchased some muffs, some furs, and some fluffs,
+    And wrapped himself well from the cold.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tring,
+    Who embellished his nose with a ring;
+    He gazed at the moon every evening in June,
+    That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Nepaul,
+    From his horse had a terrible fall;
+    But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue
+    They mended that man of Nepaul.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Nile,
+    Who sharpened his nails with a file,
+    Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly, "This comes
+    Of sharpening one's nails with a file!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,
+    So blind that he couldn't his foot see;
+    When they said, "That's your toe," he replied, "Is it so?"
+    That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Calcutta,
+    Who perpetually ate bread and butter;
+    Till a great bit of muffin, on which he was stuffing,
+    Choked that horrid Old Man of Calcutta.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
+    Who strongly objected to toads;
+    He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens,
+    That futile Old Person of Rhodes.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the South,
+    Who had an immoderate mouth;
+    But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish,
+    He was choked, that Old Man of the South.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Melrose,
+    Who walked on the tips of his toes;
+    But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present,
+    You stupid Old Man of Melrose."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Dee,
+    Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;
+    When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
+    Whose lovers completely forsook her;
+    She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"
+    Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Coblenz,
+    The length of whose legs was immense;
+    He went with one prance from Turkey to France,
+    That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
+    Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;
+    But one day, to his grief, she married a thief,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Corfu,
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown,
+    That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,
+    Who studied the works of Vitruvius;
+    When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took,
+    That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Dundee,
+    Who frequented the top of a tree;
+    When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose,
+    And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady whose folly
+    Induced her to sit in a holly;
+    Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn,
+    She quickly became melancholy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on some rocks,
+    Who shut his Wife up in a box:
+    When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt
+    You will pass all your life in that box."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rheims,
+    Who was troubled with horrible dreams;
+    So to keep him awake they fed him with cake,
+    Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
+    The smallest that ever was born;
+    But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy,
+    Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a pew,
+    Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;
+    But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces,
+    That cheerful Old Man in a pew.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
+    Who suddenly married a Quaker;
+    But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"
+    Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "How
+    Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
+    I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile,
+    Which may soften the heart of that Cow."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Troy,
+    Whom several large flies did annoy;
+    Some she killed with a thump, some she drowned at the pump,
+    And some she took with her to Troy.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Hull,
+    Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
+    But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?"
+    Which distracted that virulent Bull.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dutton,
+    Whose head was as small as a button;
+    So to make it look big he purchased a wig,
+    And rapidly rushed about Dutton.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
+    I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
+    When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all;
+    It is four times as big as the bush!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Russia,
+    Who screamed so that no one could hush her;
+    Her screams were extreme,--no one heard such a scream
+    As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
+    Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
+    At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep,
+    And enchanted the city of Tyre.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Bangor,
+    Whose face was distorted with anger;
+    He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,
+    That borascible Person of Bangor.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the East,
+    Who gave all his children a feast;
+    But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,
+    That it killed that Old Man of the East.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Coast,
+    Who placidly sat on a post;
+    But when it was cold he relinquished his hold,
+    And called for some hot buttered toast.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
+    Who possessed a remarkably fat Cur;
+    His gait and his waddle were held as a model
+    To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Gretna,
+    Who rushed down the crater of Etna;
+    When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!"
+    That mendacious Old Person of Gretna.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who sat on a Horse when he reared;
+    But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,
+    You propitious Old Man with a beard!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Berlin,
+    Whose form was uncommonly thin;
+    Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,
+    So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who never could get any rest;
+    So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,
+    Which cured that Old Man of the West.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cheadle
+    Was put in the stocks by the Beadle
+    For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,
+    That horrible person of Cheadle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Anerley,
+    Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;
+    He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,
+    But returned in the evening to Anerley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Wales,
+    Who caught a large Fish without scales;
+    When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!"
+    That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Welling,
+    Whose praise all the world was a-telling;
+    She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,
+    That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tartary,
+    Who divided his jugular artery;
+    But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life!
+    Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
+    Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;
+    But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chester,
+    Whom several small children did pester;
+    They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,
+    And displeased that Old Person of Chester.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Cape,
+    Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;
+    Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,
+    Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Burton,
+    Whose answers were rather uncertain;
+    When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?"
+    That distressing Old Person of Burton.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ems
+    Who casually fell in the Thames;
+    And when he was found, they said he was drowned,
+    That unlucky Old Person of Ems.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
+    Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;
+    She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,
+    Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Poole,
+    Whose soup was excessively cool;
+    So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,
+    That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Prague,
+    Whose language was horribly vague;
+    When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!"
+    That oracular Lady of Prague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Parma,
+    Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:
+    When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!"
+    That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Sparta,
+    Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"
+    He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,
+    That wonderful Person of Sparta.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on whose nose
+    Most birds of the air could repose;
+    But they all flew away at the closing of day,
+    Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
+    Who wept when the weather was murky;
+    When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,
+    That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Aosta
+    Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;
+    But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,
+    You invidious Old Man of Aosta?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Crete,
+    Whose toilette was far from complete;
+    She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,
+    That ombliferous Person of Crete.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Clare,
+    Who was madly pursued by a Bear;
+    When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,
+    That unfortunate Lady of Clare.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
+    Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
+    But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,
+    That she very soon went back to Dorking.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
+    Who wished he had never been born;
+    So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,
+    That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Person of Cromer,
+    Who stood on one leg to read Homer;
+    When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,
+    Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Hague,
+    Whose ideas were excessively vague;
+    He built a balloon to examine the moon,
+    That deluded Old Man of the Hague.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Spain,
+    Who hated all trouble and pain;
+    So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,
+    That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Well!
+    Will _nobody_ answer this bell?
+    I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white,
+    But nobody answers this bell!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with an Owl,
+    Who continued to bother and howl;
+    He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,
+    Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a casement,
+    Who held up his hands in amazement;
+    When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" he replied, "Not at all!"
+    That incipient Old Man in a casement.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ewell,
+    Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
+    But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,
+    Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru.
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,
+    That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, "It is just as I feared!--
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose eyes
+    Were unique as to color and size;
+    When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,
+    And started away in surprise.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
+    Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
+    She purchased some clogs, and some small spotty Dogs,
+    And frequently walked about Ryde.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose bonnet
+    Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
+    But she said, "I don't care! all the birds in the air
+    Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+NONSENSE SONGS
+
+Stories, Botany, and Alphabets
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR.
+
+With One Hundred and Fifty Illustrations
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+    NONSENSE SONGS.
+        THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT
+        THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO
+        THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY
+        THE JUMBLIES
+        THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS
+        CALICO PIE
+        MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW
+        THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS THE TABLE AND THE
+        CHAIR
+
+    NONSENSE STORIES.
+        THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD
+        THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE
+
+    NONSENSE COOKERY
+
+    NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+    NONSENSE ALPHABET, No. 1
+      "  "  No. 2
+      "  "  No. 3
+
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE SONGS.
+
+
+THE OWL AND THE PUSSY-CAT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea
+      In a beautiful pea-green boat:
+    They took some honey, and plenty of money
+      Wrapped up in a five-pound note.
+    The Owl looked up to the stars above,
+      And sang to a small guitar,
+   "O lovely Pussy, O Pussy, my love,
+        What a beautiful Pussy you are,
+          You are,
+          You are!
+      What a beautiful Pussy you are!"
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Pussy said to the Owl, "You elegant fowl,
+      How charmingly sweet you sing!
+    Oh! let us be married; too long we have tarried:
+      But what shall we do for a ring?"
+    They sailed away, for a year and a day,
+      To the land where the bong-tree grows;
+    And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood,
+      With a ring at the end of his nose,
+          His nose,
+          His nose,
+      With a ring at the end of his nose.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    "Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling
+      Your ring?" Said the Piggy, "I will."
+    So they took it away, and were married next day
+      By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
+    They dined on mince and slices of quince,
+      Which they ate with a runcible spoon;
+    And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand,
+      They danced by the light of the moon,
+          The moon,
+          The moon,
+    They danced by the light of the moon.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE DUCK AND THE KANGAROO.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    Said the Duck to the Kangaroo,
+       "Good gracious! how you hop
+    Over the fields, and the water too,
+        As if you never would stop!
+    My life is a bore in this nasty pond;
+    And I long to go out in the world beyond:
+        I wish I could hop like you,"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+   "Please give me a ride on your back,"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo:
+   "I would sit quite still, and say nothing but 'Quack'
+        The whole of the long day through;
+    And we 'd go the Dee, and the Jelly Bo Lee,
+    Over the land, and over the sea:
+        Please take me a ride! oh, do!"
+        Said the Duck to the Kangaroo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    Said the Kangaroo to the Duck,
+       "This requires some little reflection.
+    Perhaps, on the whole, it might bring me luck;
+        And there seems but one objection;
+    Which is, if you'll let me speak so bold,
+    Your feet are unpleasantly wet and cold,
+        And would probably give me the roo-
+        Matiz," said the Kangaroo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    Said the Duck, "As I sate on the rocks,
+        I have thought over that completely;
+    And I bought four pairs of worsted socks,
+        Which fit my web-feet neatly;
+    And, to keep out the cold, I've bought a cloak;
+    And every day a cigar I'll smoke;
+        All to follow my own dear true
+        Love of a Kangaroo."
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Said the Kangaroo, "I'm ready,
+        All in the moonlight pale;
+    But to balance me well, dear Duck, sit steady,
+        And quite at the end of my tail."
+    So away they went with a hop and a bound;
+    And they hopped the whole world three times round.
+        And who so happy, oh! who,
+        As the Duck and the Kangaroo?
+
+             [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE DADDY LONG-LEGS AND THE FLY.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    Once Mr. Daddy Long-legs,
+        Dressed in brown and gray,
+    Walked about upon the sands
+        Upon a summer's day:
+    And there among the pebbles,
+        When the wind was rather cold,
+    He met with Mr. Floppy Fly,
+        All dressed in blue and gold;
+    And, as it was too soon to dine,
+    They drank some periwinkle-wine,
+    And played an hour or two, or more,
+    At battlecock and shuttledore.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        To Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "Why do you never come to court?
+        I wish you 'd tell me why.
+    All gold and shine, in dress so fine,
+        You'd quite delight the court.
+    Why do you never go at all?
+        I really think you _ought_.
+    And, if you went, you'd see such sights!
+    Such rugs and jugs and candle-lights!
+    And, more than all, the king and queen,--
+    One in red, and one in green."
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    "O Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"
+        Said Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "It's true I never go to court;
+        And I will tell you why.
+    If I had six long legs like yours,
+        At once I'd go to court;
+    But, oh! I can't, because _my_ legs
+        Are so extremely short.
+    And I'm afraid the king and queen
+    (One in red, and one in green)
+    Would say aloud, 'You are not fit,
+    You Fly, to come to court a bit!'"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    "Oh, Mr. Daddy Long-legs!"
+        Said Mr. Floppy Fly,
+    "I wish you 'd sing one little song,
+        One mumbian melody.
+    You used to sing so awful well
+        In former days gone by;
+    But now you never sing at all:
+        I wish you'd tell me why:
+    For, if you would, the silvery sound
+    Would please the shrimps and cockles round,
+    And all the crabs would gladly come
+    To hear you sing, 'Ah, Hum di Hum!'"
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Said Mr. Daddy Long-legs,
+       "I can never sing again;
+    And, if you wish, I'll tell you why,
+        Although it gives me pain.
+    For years I cannot hum a bit,
+        Or sing the smallest song;
+    And this the dreadful reason is,--
+        My legs are grown too long!
+    My six long legs, all here and there,
+    Oppress my bosom with despair;
+    And, if I stand or lie or sit,
+    I cannot sing one single bit!"
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+    So Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        And Mr. Floppy Fly
+    Sat down in silence by the sea,
+        And gazed upon the sky.
+    They said, "This is a dreadful thing!
+        The world has all gone wrong,
+    Since one has legs too short by half,
+        The other much too long.
+    One never more can go to court,
+    Because his legs have grown too short;
+    The other cannot sing a song,
+    Because his legs have grown too long!"
+
+
+                    VII.
+
+    Then Mr. Daddy Long-legs
+        And Mr. Floppy Fly
+    Rushed downward to the foamy sea
+        With one sponge-taneous cry:
+    And there they found a little boat,
+        Whose sails were pink and gray;
+    And off they sailed among the waves,
+        Far and far away:
+    They sailed across the silent main,
+    And reached the great Gromboolian Plain;
+    And there they play forevermore
+    At battlecock and shuttledore.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE JUMBLIES.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    They went to sea in a sieve, they did;
+        In a sieve they went to sea:
+    In spite of all their friends could say,
+    On a winter's morn, on a stormy day,
+        In a sieve they went to sea.
+    And when the sieve turned round and round,
+    And every one cried, "You'll all be drowned!"
+    They called aloud, "Our sieve ain't big;
+    But we don't care a button, we don't care a fig:
+        In a sieve we'll go to sea!"
+             Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+             Their heads are green, and their hands are blue
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    They sailed away in a sieve, they did,
+        In a sieve they sailed so fast,
+    With only a beautiful pea-green veil
+    Tied with a ribbon, by way of a sail,
+        To a small tobacco-pipe mast.
+    And every one said who saw them go,
+   "Oh! won't they be soon upset, you know?
+    For the sky is dark, and the voyage is long;
+    And, happen what may, it's extremely wrong
+        In a sieve to sail so fast."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    The water it soon came in, it did;
+        The water it soon came in:
+    So, to keep them dry, they wrapped their feet
+        In a pinky paper all folded neat;
+    And they fastened it down with a pin.
+    And they passed the night in a crockery-jar;
+    And each of them said, "How wise we are!
+    Though the sky be dark, and the voyage be long,
+    Yet we never can think we were rash or wrong,
+        While round in our sieve we spin."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    And all night long they sailed away;
+        And when the sun went down,
+    They whistled and warbled a moony song
+        To the echoing sound of a coppery gong,
+    In the shade of the mountains brown.
+   "O Timballoo! How happy we are
+    When we live in a sieve and a crockery-jar!
+    And all night long, in the moonlight pale,
+    We sail away with a pea-green sail
+        In the shade of the mountains brown."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    They sailed to the Western Sea, they did,--
+        To a land all covered with trees:
+    And they bought an owl, and a useful cart,
+        And a pound of rice, and a cranberry-tart,
+    And a hive of silvery bees;
+    And they bought a pig, and some green jackdaws,
+    And a lovely monkey with lollipop paws,
+    And forty bottles of ring-bo-ree,
+        And no end of Stilton cheese.
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    And in twenty years they all came back,--
+        In twenty years or more;
+    And every one said, "How tall they've grown!
+        For they've been to the Lakes, and the Torrible Zone,
+    And the hills of the Chankly Bore."
+    And they drank their health, and gave them a feast
+    Of dumplings made of beautiful yeast;
+    And every one said, "If we only live,
+    We, too, will go to sea in a sieve,
+        To the hills of the Chankly Bore."
+            Far and few, far and few,
+        Are the lands where the Jumblies live:
+            Their heads are green, and their hands are blue;
+        And they went to sea in a sieve.
+
+
+
+
+THE NUTCRACKERS AND THE SUGAR-TONGS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    The Nutcrackers sate by a plate on the table;
+        The Sugar-tongs sate by a plate at his side;
+    And the Nutcrackers said, "Don't you wish we were able
+        Along the blue hills and green meadows to ride?
+    Must we drag on this stupid existence forever,
+        So idle and weary, so full of remorse,
+    While every one else takes his pleasure, and never
+        Seems happy unless he is riding a horse?
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    "Don't you think we could ride without being instructed,
+        Without any saddle or bridle or spur?
+    Our legs are so long, and so aptly constructed,
+        I'm sure that an accident could not occur.
+    Let us all of a sudden hop down from the table,
+        And hustle downstairs, and each jump on a horse!
+    Shall we try? Shall we go? Do you think we are able?"
+        The Sugar-tongs answered distinctly, "Of course!"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    So down the long staircase they hopped in a minute;
+        The Sugar-tongs snapped, and the Crackers said "Crack!"
+    The stable was open; the horses were in it:
+        Each took out a pony, and jumped on his back.
+    The Cat in a fright scrambled out of the doorway;
+        The Mice tumbled out of a bundle of hay;
+    The brown and white Rats, and the black ones from Norway,
+        Screamed out, "They are taking the horses away!"
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    The whole of the household was filled with amazement:
+        The Cups and the Saucers danced madly about;
+    The Plates and the Dishes looked out of the casement;
+        The Salt-cellar stood on his head with a shout;
+    The Spoons, with a clatter, looked out of the lattice;
+        The Mustard-pot climbed up the gooseberry-pies;
+    The Soup-ladle peeped through a heap of veal-patties,
+        And squeaked with a ladle-like scream of surprise.
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    The Frying-pan said, "It's an awful delusion!"
+        The Tea-kettle hissed, and grew black in the face;
+    And they all rushed downstairs in the wildest confusion
+        To see the great Nutcracker-Sugar-tong race.
+    And out of the stable, with screamings and laughter
+        (Their ponies were cream-colored, speckled with brown),
+    The Nutcrackers first, and the Sugar-tongs after;
+        Rode all round the yard, and then all round the town.
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    They rode through the street, and they rode by the station;
+        They galloped away to the beautiful shore;
+    In silence they rode, and "made no observation,"
+        Save this: "We will never go back any more!"
+    And still you might hear, till they rode out of hearing,
+        The Sugar-tongs snap, and the Crackers say "Crack!"
+    Till, far in the distance their forms disappearing,
+        They faded away; and they never came back!
+
+
+
+
+CALICO PIE.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+      Calico pie,
+      The little birds fly
+    Down to the calico-tree:
+      Their wings were blue,
+      And they sang "Tilly-loo!"
+      Till away they flew;
+        And they never came back to me!
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back,
+        They never came back to me!
+
+
+                     II.
+
+      Calico jam,
+      The little Fish swam
+    Over the Syllabub Sea.
+      He took off his hat
+      To the Sole and the Sprat,
+      And the Willeby-wat:
+        But he never came back to me;
+          He never came back,
+          He never came back,
+        He never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+                     III.
+
+      Calico ban,
+      The little Mice ran
+    To be ready in time for tea;
+      Flippity flup,
+      They drank it all up,
+      And danced in the cup:
+        But they never came back to me;
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back,
+        They never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+      Calico drum,
+      The Grasshoppers come,
+    The Butterfly, Beetle, and Bee,
+      Over the ground,
+      Around and round,
+      With a hop and a bound;
+        But they never came back,
+          They never came back,
+          They never came back.
+        They never came back to me.
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+MR. AND MRS. SPIKKY SPARROW.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    On a little piece of wood
+    Mr. Spikky Sparrow stood:
+    Mrs. Sparrow sate close by,
+    A-making of an insect-pie
+    For her little children five,
+    In the nest and all alive;
+    Singing with a cheerful smile,
+    To amuse them all the while,
+       "Twikky wikky wikky wee,
+        Wikky bikky twikky tee,
+            Spikky bikky bee!"
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    Mrs. Spikky Sparrow said,
+    "Spikky, darling! in my head
+    Many thoughts of trouble come,
+    Like to flies upon a plum.
+    All last night, among the trees,
+    I heard you cough, I heard you sneeze;
+    And thought I, 'It's come to that
+    Because he does not wear a hat!'
+        Chippy wippy sikky tee,
+        Bikky wikky tikky mee,
+            Spikky chippy wee!
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    "Not that you are growing old;
+    But the nights are growing cold.
+    No one stays out all night long
+    Without a hat: I'm sure it's wrong!"
+    Mr. Spikky said, "How kind,
+    Dear, you are, to speak your mind!
+    All your life I wish you luck!
+    You are, you are, a lovely duck!
+        Witchy witchy witchy wee,
+        Twitchy witchy witchy bee,
+            Tikky tikky tee!
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    "I was also sad, and thinking,
+    When one day I saw you winking,
+    And I heard you sniffle-snuffle,
+    And I saw your feathers ruffle:
+    To myself I sadly said,
+    'She's neuralgia in her head!
+    That dear head has nothing on it!
+    Ought she not to wear a bonnet?'
+        Witchy kitchy kitchy wee,
+        Spikky wikky mikky bee,
+            Chippy wippy chee!
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    "Let us both fly up to town:
+    There I'll buy you such a gown!
+    Which, completely in the fashion,
+    You shall tie a sky-blue sash on;
+    And a pair of slippers neat
+    To fit your darling little feet,
+    So that you will look and feel
+    Quite galloobious and genteel.
+        Jikky wikky bikky see,
+        Chicky bikky wikky bee,
+            Twicky witchy wee!"
+
+
+                     VI.
+
+    So they both to London went,
+    Alighting on the Monument;
+    Whence they flew down swiftly--pop!
+    Into Moses' wholesale shop:
+    There they bought a hat and bonnet,
+    And a gown with spots upon it,
+    A satin sash of Cloxam blue,
+    And a pair of slippers too.
+        Zikky wikky mikky bee,
+        Witchy witchy mitchy kee,
+            Sikky tikky wee!
+
+
+                     VII.
+
+    Then, when so completely dressed,
+    Back they flew, and reached their nest.
+    Their children cried, "O ma and pa!
+    How truly beautiful you are!"
+    Said they, "We trust that cold or pain
+    We shall never feel again;
+    While, perched on tree or house or steeple,
+    We now shall look like other people.
+        Witchy witchy witchy wee,
+        Twikky mikky bikky bee,
+            Zikky sikky tee!"
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE BROOM, THE SHOVEL, THE POKER, AND THE TONGS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    The Broom and the Shovel, the Poker and Tongs,
+      They all took a drive in the Park;
+    And they each sang a song, ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+      Before they went back in the dark.
+    Mr. Poker he sate quite upright in the coach;
+      Mr. Tongs made a clatter and clash;
+    Miss Shovel was dressed all in black (with a brooch);
+      Mrs. Broom was in blue (with a sash).
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        And they all sang a song.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+   "O Shovely so lovely!" the Poker he sang,
+     "You have perfectly conquered my heart.
+    Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong! If you're pleased with my song,
+      I will feed you with cold apple-tart.
+    When you scrape up the coals with a delicate sound,
+      You enrapture my life with delight,
+    Your nose is so shiny, your head is so round,
+      And your shape is so slender and bright!
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        Ain't you pleased with my song?"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+   "Alas! Mrs. Broom," sighed the Tongs in his song,
+     "Oh! is it because I'm so thin,
+    And my legs are so long,--ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!--
+      That you don't care about me a pin?
+    Ah! fairest of creatures, when sweeping the room,
+      Ah! why don't you heed my complaint?
+    Must you needs be so cruel, you beautiful Broom,
+      Because you are covered with paint?
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        You are certainly wrong."
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    Mrs. Broom and Miss Shovel together they sang,
+     "What nonsense you're singing to-day!"
+    Said the Shovel, "I'll certainly hit you a bang!"
+      Said the Broom, "And I'll sweep you away!"
+    So the coachman drove homeward as fast as he could,
+      Perceiving their anger with pain;
+    But they put on the kettle, and little by little
+      They all became happy again.
+        Ding-a-dong, ding-a-dong!
+        There's an end of my song.
+
+
+
+
+THE TABLE AND THE CHAIR.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                     I.
+
+    Said the Table to the Chair,
+    "You can hardly be aware
+    How I suffer from the heat
+    And from chilblains on my feet.
+    If we took a little walk,
+    We might have a little talk;
+    Pray let us take the air,"
+    Said the Table to the Chair.
+
+
+                     II.
+
+    Said the Chair unto the Table,
+    "Now, you _know_ we are not able:
+    How foolishly you talk,
+    When you know we _cannot_ walk!"
+    Said the Table with a sigh,
+    "It can do no harm to try.
+    I've as many legs as you:
+    Why can't we walk on two?"
+
+
+                     III.
+
+    So they both went slowly down,
+    And walked about the town
+    With a cheerful bumpy sound
+    As they toddled round and round;
+    And everybody cried,
+    As they hastened to their side,
+    "See! the Table and the Chair
+    Have come out to take the air!"
+
+
+                     IV.
+
+    But in going down an alley,
+    To a castle in a valley,
+    They completely lost their way,
+    And wandered all the day;
+    Till, to see them safely back,
+    They paid a Ducky-quack,
+    And a Beetle, and a Mouse,
+    Who took them to their house.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                     V.
+
+    Then they whispered to each other,
+    "O delightful little brother,
+    What a lovely walk we've taken!
+    Let us dine on beans and bacon."
+    So the Ducky and the leetle
+    Browny-Mousy and the Beetle
+    Dined, and danced upon their heads
+    Till they toddled to their beds.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE STORIES.
+
+
+THE STORY OF THE FOUR LITTLE CHILDREN WHO WENT ROUND THE WORLD.
+
+Once upon a time, a long while ago, there were four little people whose
+names were
+
+[Illustration]
+
+VIOLET, SLINGSBY, GUY, and LIONEL;
+and they all thought they should like to see the world. So they bought a
+large boat to sail quite round the world by sea, and then they were to come
+back on the other side by land. The boat was painted blue with green spots,
+and the sail was yellow with red stripes: and, when they set off, they only
+took a small Cat to steer and look after the boat, besides an elderly
+Quangle-Wangle, who had to cook the dinner and make the tea; for which
+purposes they took a large kettle.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+For the first ten days they sailed on beautifully, and found plenty to eat,
+as there were lots of fish; and they had only to take them out of the sea
+with a long spoon, when the Quangle-Wangle instantly cooked them; and the
+Pussy-Cat was fed with the bones, with which she expressed herself pleased,
+on the whole: so that all the party were very happy.
+
+During the daytime, Violet chiefly occupied herself in putting salt water
+into a churn; while her three brothers churned it violently, in the hope
+that it would turn into butter, which it seldom if ever did; and in the
+evening they all retired into the tea-kettle, where they all managed to
+sleep very comfortably, while Pussy and the Quangle-Wangle managed the
+boat.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After a time, they saw some land at a distance; and, when they came to it,
+they found it was an island made of water quite surrounded by earth.
+Besides that, it was bordered by evanescent isthmuses, with a great
+gulf-stream running about all over it; so that it was perfectly beautiful,
+and contained only a single tree, 503 feet high.
+
+When they had landed, they walked about, but found, to their great
+surprise, that the island was quite full of veal-cutlets and
+chocolate-drops, and nothing else. So they all climbed up the single high
+tree to discover, if possible, if there were any people; but having
+remained on the top of the tree for a week, and not seeing anybody, they
+naturally concluded that there were no inhabitants; and accordingly, when
+they came down, they loaded the boat with two thousand veal-cutlets and a
+million of chocolate-drops; and these afforded them sustenance for more
+than a month, during which time they pursued their voyage with the utmost
+delight and apathy.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After this they came to a shore where there were no less than sixty-five
+great red parrots with blue tails, sitting on a rail all of a row, and all
+fast asleep. And I am sorry to say that the Pussy-Cat and the
+Quangle-Wangle crept softly, and bit off the tail-feathers of all the
+sixty-five parrots; for which Violet reproved them both severely.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Notwithstanding which, she proceeded to insert all the feathers--two
+hundred and sixty in number--in her bonnet; thereby causing it to have a
+lovely and glittering appearance, highly prepossessing and efficacious.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+The next thing that happened to them was in a narrow part of the sea, which
+was so entirely full of fishes that the boat could go on no farther: so
+they remained there about six weeks, till they had eaten nearly all the
+fishes, which were soles, and all ready-cooked, and covered with
+shrimp-sauce, so that there was no trouble whatever. And as the few fishes
+who remained uneaten complained of the cold, as well as of the difficulty
+they had in getting any sleep on account of the extreme noise made by the
+arctic bears and the tropical turnspits, which frequented the neighborhood
+in great numbers, Violet most amiably knitted a small woollen frock for
+several of the fishes, and Slingsby administered some opium-drops to them;
+through which kindness they became quite warm, and slept soundly.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Then they came to a country which was wholly covered with immense
+orange-trees of a vast size, and quite full of fruit. So they all landed,
+taking with them the tea-kettle, intending to gather some of the oranges,
+and place them in it. But, while they were busy about this, a most
+dreadfully high wind rose, and blew out most of the parrot-tail feathers
+from Violet's bonnet. That, however, was nothing compared with the calamity
+of the oranges falling down on their heads by millions and millions, which
+thumped and bumped and bumped and thumped them all so seriously, that they
+were obliged to run as hard as they could for their lives; besides that the
+sound of the oranges rattling on the tea-kettle was of the most fearful and
+amazing nature.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Nevertheless, they got safely to the boat, although considerably vexed and
+hurt; and the Quangle-Wangle's right foot was so knocked about, that he had
+to sit with his head in his slipper for at least a week.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+This event made them all for a time rather melancholy: and perhaps they
+might never have become less so, had not Lionel, with a most praiseworthy
+devotion and perseverance, continued to stand on one leg, and whistle to
+them in a loud and lively manner; which diverted the whole party so
+extremely that they gradually recovered their spirits, and agreed that
+whenever they should reach home, they would subscribe towards a testimonial
+to Lionel, entirely made of gingerbread and raspberries, as an earnest
+token of their sincere and grateful infection.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+After sailing on calmly for several more days, they came to another
+country, where they were much pleased and surprised to see a countless
+multitude of white Mice with red eyes, all sitting in a great circle,
+slowly eating custard-pudding with the most satisfactory and polite
+demeanor.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And as the four travellers were rather hungry, being tired of eating
+nothing but soles and oranges for so long a period, they held a council as
+to the propriety of asking the Mice for some of their pudding in a humble
+and affecting manner, by which they could hardly be otherwise than
+gratified. It was agreed, therefore, that Guy should go and ask the Mice,
+which he immediately did; and the result was, that they gave a walnut-shell
+only half full of custard diluted with water. Now, this displeased Guy, who
+said, "Out of such a lot of pudding as you have got, I must say, you might
+have spared a somewhat larger quantity." But no sooner had he finished
+speaking than the Mice turned round at once, and sneezed at him in an
+appalling and vindictive manner (and it is impossible to imagine a more
+scroobious and unpleasant sound than that caused by the simultaneous
+sneezing of many millions of angry Mice); so that Guy rushed back to the
+boat, having first shied his cap into the middle of the custard-pudding, by
+which means he completely spoiled the Mice's dinner.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+By and by the four children came to a country where there were no houses,
+but only an incredibly innumerable number of large bottles without corks,
+and of a dazzling and sweetly susceptible blue color. Each of these blue
+bottles contained a Blue-Bottle-Fly; and all these interesting animals live
+continually together in the most copious and rural harmony: nor perhaps in
+many parts of the world is such perfect and abject happiness to be found.
+Violet and Slingsby and Guy and Lionel were greatly struck with this
+singular and instructive settlement; and, having previously asked
+permission of the Blue-Bottle-Flies (which was most courteously granted),
+the boat was drawn up to the shore, and they proceeded to make tea in front
+of the bottles: but as they had no tea-leaves, they merely placed some
+pebbles in the hot water; and the Quangle-Wangle played some tunes over it
+on an accordion, by which, of course, tea was made directly, and of the
+very best quality.
+
+The four children then entered into conversation with the
+Blue-Bottle-Flies, who discoursed in a placid and genteel manner, though
+with a slightly buzzing accent, chiefly owing to the fact that they each
+held a small clothes-brush between their teeth, which naturally occasioned
+a fizzy, extraneous utterance.
+
+"Why," said Violet, "would you kindly inform us, do you reside in bottles;
+and, if in bottles at all, why not, rather, in green or purple, or, indeed,
+in yellow bottles?"
+
+To which questions a very aged Blue-Bottle-Fly answered, "We found the
+bottles here all ready to live in; that is to say, our great-great-great-
+great-great-grandfathers did: so we occupied them at once. And, when the
+winter comes on, we turn the bottles upside down, and consequently rarely
+feel the cold at all; and you know very well that this could not be the
+case with bottles of any other color than blue."
+
+"Of course it could not," said Slingsby. "But, if we may take the liberty
+of inquiring, on what do you chiefly subsist?"
+
+"Mainly on oyster-patties," said the Blue-Bottle-Fly; "and, when these are
+scarce, on raspberry vinegar and Russian leather boiled down to a jelly."
+
+"How delicious!" said Guy.
+
+To which Lionel added, "Huzz!" And all the Blue-Bottle-Flies said, "Buzz!"
+
+At this time, an elderly Fly said it was the hour for the evening-song to
+be sung; and, on a signal being given, all the Blue-Bottle-Flies began to
+buzz at once in a sumptuous and sonorous manner, the melodious and
+mucilaginous sounds echoing all over the waters, and resounding across the
+tumultuous tops of the transitory titmice upon the intervening and verdant
+mountains with a serene and sickly suavity only known to the truly
+virtuous. The Moon was shining slobaciously from the star-bespangled sky,
+while her light irrigated the smooth and shiny sides and wings and backs of
+the Blue-Bottle-Flies with a peculiar and trivial splendor, while all
+Nature cheerfully responded to the cerulean and conspicuous circumstances.
+
+In many long-after years, the four little travellers looked back to that
+evening as one of the happiest in all their lives; and it was already past
+midnight when--the sail of the boat having been set up by the
+Quangle-Wangle, the tea-kettle and churn placed in their respective
+positions, and the Pussy-Cat stationed at the helm--the children each took
+a last and affectionate farewell of the Blue-Bottle-Flies, who walked down
+in a body to the water's edge to see the travellers embark.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+As a token of parting respect and esteem, Violet made a courtesy quite down
+to the ground, and stuck one of her few remaining parrot-tail feathers into
+the back hair of the most pleasing of the Blue-Bottle-Flies; while
+Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel offered them three small boxes, containing,
+respectively, black pins, dried figs, and Epsom salts; and thus they left
+that happy shore forever.
+
+Overcome by their feelings, the four little travellers instantly jumped
+into the tea-kettle, and fell fast asleep. But all along the shore, for
+many hours, there was distinctly heard a sound of severely-suppressed sobs,
+and of a vague multitude of living creatures using their
+pocket-handkerchiefs in a subdued simultaneous snuffle, lingering sadly
+along the walloping waves as the boat sailed farther and farther away from
+the Land of the Happy Blue-Bottle-Flies.
+
+Nothing particular occurred for some days after these events, except that,
+as the travellers were passing a low tract of sand, they perceived an
+unusual and gratifying spectacle; namely, a large number of Crabs and
+Crawfish--perhaps six or seven hundred--sitting by the water-side, and
+endeavoring to disentangle a vast heap of pale pink worsted, which they
+moistened at intervals with a fluid composed of lavender-water and
+white-wine negus.
+
+"Can we be of any service to you, O crusty Crabbies?" said the four
+children.
+
+"Thank you kindly," said the Crabs consecutively. "We are trying to make
+some worsted mittens, but do not know how."
+
+On which Violet, who was perfectly acquainted with the art of
+mitten-making, said to the Crabs, "Do your claws unscrew, or are they
+fixtures?"
+
+"They are all made to unscrew," said the Crabs; and forthwith they
+deposited a great pile of claws close to the boat, with which Violet
+uncombed all the pale pink worsted, and then made the loveliest mittens
+with it you can imagine. These the Crabs, having resumed and screwed on
+their claws, placed cheerfully upon their wrists, and walked away rapidly
+on their hind-legs, warbling songs with a silvery voice and in a minor key.
+
+After this, the four little people sailed on again till they came to a vast
+and wide plain of astonishing dimensions, on which nothing whatever could
+be discovered at first; but, as the travellers walked onward, there
+appeared in the extreme and dim distance a single object, which on a nearer
+approach, and on an accurately cutaneous inspection, seemed to be somebody
+in a large white wig, sitting on an arm-chair made of sponge-cakes and
+oyster-shells. "It does not quite look like a human being," said Violet
+doubtfully; nor could they make out what it really was, till the
+Quangle-Wangle (who had previously been round the world) exclaimed softly
+in a loud voice, "It is the co-operative Cauliflower!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And so, in truth, it was: and they soon found that what they had taken for
+an immense wig was in reality the top of the Cauliflower; and that he had
+no feet at all, being able to walk tolerably well with a fluctuating and
+graceful movement on a single cabbage-stalk,--an accomplishment which
+naturally saved him the expense of stockings and shoes.
+
+Presently, while the whole party from the boat was gazing at him with
+mingled affection and disgust, he suddenly arose, and, in a somewhat
+plumdomphious manner, hurried off towards the setting sun,--his steps
+supported by two superincumbent confidential Cucumbers, and a large number
+of Waterwagtails proceeding in advance of him by three and three in a
+row,--till he finally disappeared on the brink of the western sky in a
+crystal cloud of sudorific sand.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+So remarkable a sight, of course, impressed the four children very deeply;
+and they returned immediately to their boat with a strong sense of
+undeveloped asthma and a great appetite.
+
+Shortly after this, the travellers were obliged to sail directly below some
+high overhanging rocks, from the top of one of which a particularly odious
+little boy, dressed in rose-colored knickerbockers, and with a pewter plate
+upon his head, threw an enormous pumpkin at the boat, by which it was
+instantly upset.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+But this upsetting was of no consequence, because all the party knew how to
+swim very well: and, in fact, they preferred swimming about till after the
+moon rose; when, the water growing chilly, they sponge-taneously entered
+the boat. Meanwhile the Quangle-Wangle threw back the pumpkin with immense
+force, so that it hit the rocks where the malicious little boy in
+rose-colored knickerbockers was sitting; when, being quite full of
+lucifer-matches, the pumpkin exploded surreptitiously into a thousand bits;
+whereon the rocks instantly took fire, and the odious little boy became
+unpleasantly hotter and hotter and hotter, till his knickerbockers were
+turned quite green, and his nose was burnt off.
+
+Two or three days after this had happened, they came to another place,
+where they found nothing at all except some wide and deep pits full of
+mulberry-jam. This is the property of the tiny, yellow-nosed Apes who
+abound in these districts, and who store up the mulberry-jam for their food
+in winter, when they mix it with pellucid pale periwinkle-soup, and serve
+it out in wedgewood china-bowls, which grow freely all over that part of
+the country. Only one of the yellow-nosed Apes was on the spot, and he was
+fast asleep; yet the four travellers and the Quangle-Wangle and Pussy were
+so terrified by the violence and sanguinary sound of his snoring, that they
+merely took a small cupful of the jam, and returned to re-embark in their
+boat without delay.
+
+What was their horror on seeing the boat (including the churn and the
+tea-kettle) in the mouth of an enormous Seeze Pyder, an aquatic and
+ferocious creature truly dreadful to behold, and, happily, only met with in
+those excessive longitudes! In a moment, the beautiful boat was bitten into
+fifty-five thousand million hundred billion bits; and it instantly became
+quite clear that Violet, Slingsby, Guy, and Lionel could no longer
+preliminate their voyage by sea.
+
+The four travellers were therefore obliged to resolve on pursuing their
+wanderings by land: and, very fortunately, there happened to pass by at
+that moment an elderly Rhinoceros, on which they seized; and, all four
+mounting on his back,--the Quangle-Wangle sitting on his horn, and holding
+on by his ears, and the Pussy-Cat swinging at the end of his tail,--they
+set off, having only four small beans and three pounds of mashed potatoes
+to last through their whole journey.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+They were, however, able to catch numbers of the chickens and turkeys and
+other birds who incessantly alighted on the head of the Rhinoceros for the
+purpose of gathering the seeds of the rhododendron-plants which grew
+there; and these creatures they cooked in the most translucent and
+satisfactory manner by means of a fire lighted on the end of the
+Rhinoceros's back. A crowd of Kangaroos and gigantic Cranes accompanied
+them, from feelings of curiosity and complacency; so that they were never
+at a loss for company, and went onward, as it were, in a sort of profuse
+and triumphant procession.
+
+Thus in less than eighteen weeks they all arrived safely at home, where
+they were received by their admiring relatives with joy tempered with
+contempt, and where they finally resolved to carry out the rest of their
+travelling-plans at some more favorable opportunity.
+
+As for the Rhinoceros, in token of their grateful adherence, they had him
+killed and stuffed directly, and then set him up outside the door of their
+father's house as a diaphanous doorscraper.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES OF
+THE LAKE PIPPLE-POPPLE.
+
+
+CHAPTER I.
+
+INTRODUCTORY.
+
+In former days,--that is to say, once upon a time,--there lived in the Land
+of Gramble-Blamble seven families. They lived by the side of the great Lake
+Pipple-Popple (one of the seven families, indeed, lived _in_ the lake), and
+on the outskirts of the city of Tosh, which, excepting when it was quite
+dark, they could see plainly. The names of all these places you have
+probably heard of; and you have only not to look in your geography-books to
+find out all about them.
+
+Now, the seven families who lived on the borders of the great Lake
+Pipple-Popple were as follows in the next chapter.
+
+
+CHAPTER II.
+
+THE SEVEN FAMILIES.
+
+There was a family of two old Parrots and seven young Parrots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Storks and seven young Storks.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Geese and seven young Geese.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Owls and seven young Owls.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Guinea Pigs and seven young Guinea Pigs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+There was a family of two old Cats and seven young Cats.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+And there was a family of two old Fishes and seven young Fishes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER III.
+
+THE HABITS OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES.
+
+The Parrots lived upon the Soffsky-Poffsky trees, which were beautiful to
+behold, and covered with blue leaves; and they fed upon fruit, artichokes,
+and striped beetles.
+
+The Storks walked in and out of the Lake Pipple-Popple, and ate frogs for
+breakfast, and buttered toast for tea; but on account of the extreme length
+of their legs they could not sit down, and so they walked about
+continually.
+
+The Geese, having webs to their feet, caught quantities of flies, which
+they ate for dinner.
+
+The Owls anxiously looked after mice, which they caught, and made into
+sago-puddings.
+
+The Guinea Pigs toddled about the gardens, and ate lettuces and Cheshire
+cheese.
+
+The Cats sate still in the sunshine, and fed upon sponge biscuits.
+
+The Fishes lived in the lake, and fed chiefly on boiled periwinkles.
+
+And all these seven families lived together in the utmost fun and felicity.
+
+
+CHAPTER IV.
+
+THE CHILDREN OF THE SEVEN FAMILIES ARE SENT AWAY.
+
+One day all the seven fathers and the seven mothers of the seven families
+agreed that they would send their children out to see the world.
+
+So they called them all together, and gave them each eight shillings and
+some good advice, some chocolate-drops, and a small green morocco
+pocket-book to set down their expenses in.
+
+They then particularly entreated them not to quarrel; and all the parents
+sent off their children with a parting injunction.
+
+"If," said the old Parrots, "you find a cherry, do not fight about who
+should have it."
+
+"And," said the old Storks, "if you find a frog, divide it carefully into
+seven bits, but on no account quarrel about it."
+
+And the old Geese said to the seven young Geese, "Whatever you do, be sure
+you do not touch a plum-pudding flea."
+
+And the old Owls said, "If you find a mouse, tear him up into seven slices,
+and eat him cheerfully, but without quarrelling."
+
+And the old Guinea Pigs said, "Have a care that you eat your lettuces,
+should you find any, not greedily, but calmly."
+
+And the old Cats said, "Be particularly careful not to meddle with a
+clangle-wangle if you should see one."
+
+And the old Fishes said, "Above all things, avoid eating a blue boss-woss;
+for they do not agree with fishes, and give them a pain in their toes."
+
+So all the children of each family thanked their parents; and, making in
+all forty-nine polite bows, they went into the wide world.
+
+
+
+CHAPTER V.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG PARROTS.
+
+The seven young Parrots had not gone far, when they saw a tree with a
+single cherry on it, which the oldest Parrot picked instantly; but the
+other six, being extremely hungry, tried to get it also. On which all the
+seven began to fight; and they
+scuffled,
+     and huffled,
+       and ruffled,
+         and shuffled,
+           and puffled,
+             and muffled,
+               and buffled,
+                 and duffled,
+                   and fluffled,
+                     and guffled,
+                       and bruffled,
+                         and screamed, and shrieked, and squealed,
+and squeaked, and clawed, and snapped, and bit, and bumped, and thumped,
+and dumped, and flumped each other, till they were all torn into little
+bits; and at last there was nothing left to record this painful incident
+except the cherry and seven small green feathers.
+
+And that was the vicious and voluble end of the seven young Parrots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VI.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG STORKS.
+
+When the seven young Storks set out, they walked or flew for fourteen weeks
+in a straight line, and for six weeks more in a crooked one; and after that
+they ran as hard as they could for one hundred and eight miles; and after
+that they stood still, and made a himmeltanious chatter-clatter-blattery
+noise with their bills.
+
+About the same time they perceived a large frog, spotted with green, and
+with a sky-blue stripe under each ear.
+
+So, being hungry, they immediately flew at him, and were going to divide
+him into seven pieces, when they began to quarrel as to which of his legs
+should be taken off first. One said this, and another said that; and while
+they were all quarrelling, the frog hopped away. And when they saw that he
+was gone, they began to
+  chatter-clatter,
+      blatter-platter,
+          patter-blatter,
+              matter-clatter,
+                  flatter-quatter,
+more violently than ever; and after they
+had fought for a week, they pecked each other all to little pieces, so that
+at last nothing was left of any of them except their bills.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Storks.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VII.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GEESE.
+
+When the seven young Geese began to travel, they went over a large plain,
+on which there was but one tree, and that was, a very bad one.
+
+So four of them went up to the top of it, and looked about them; while the
+other three waddled up and down, and repeated poetry, and their last six
+lessons in arithmetic, geography, and cookery.
+
+Presently they perceived, a long way off, an object of the most interesting
+and obese appearance, having a perfectly round body exactly resembling a
+boiled plum-pudding, with two little wings, and a beak, and three feathers
+growing out of his head, and only one leg.
+
+So, after a time, all the seven young Geese said to each other, "Beyond all
+doubt this beast must be a Plum-pudding Flea!"
+
+On which they incautiously began to sing aloud,
+
+       "Plum-pudding Flea,
+        Plum-pudding Flea,
+        Wherever you be,
+        Oh! come to our tree,
+    And listen, oh! listen, oh! listen to me!"
+
+And no sooner had they sung this verse than the Plum-pudding Flea began to
+hop and skip on his one leg with the most dreadful velocity, and came
+straight to the tree, where he stopped, and looked about him in a vacant
+and voluminous manner.
+
+On which the seven young Geese were greatly alarmed, and all of a
+tremble-bemble: so one of them put out his long neck, and just touched him
+with the tip of his bill; but no sooner had he done this than the
+Plum-pudding Flea skipped and hopped about more and more, and higher and
+higher; after which he opened his mouth, and, to the great surprise and
+indignation of the seven Geese, began to bark so loudly and furiously and
+terribly, that they were totally unable to bear the noise; and by degrees
+every one of them suddenly tumbled down quite dead.
+
+So that was the end of the seven young Geese.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER VIII.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG OWLS.
+
+When the seven young Owls set out, they sate every now and then on the
+branches of old trees, and never went far at one time.
+
+And one night, when it was quite dark, they thought they heard a mouse;
+but, as the gas-lamps were not lighted, they could not see him.
+
+So they called out, "Is that a mouse?"
+
+On which a mouse answered, "Squeaky-peeky-weeky! yes, it is!"
+
+And immediately all the young Owls threw themselves off the tree, meaning
+to alight on the ground; but they did not perceive that there was a large
+well below them, into which they all fell superficially, and were every one
+of them drowned in less than half a minute.
+
+So that was the end of the seven young Owls.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER IX.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG GUINEA PIGS.
+
+The seven young Guinea Pigs went into a garden full of goose-berry-bushes
+and tiggory-trees, under one of which they fell asleep. When they awoke,
+they saw a large lettuce, which had grown out of the ground while they had
+been sleeping, and which had an immense number of green leaves. At which
+they all exclaimed,--
+
+   "Lettuce! O lettuce
+    Let us, O let us,
+    O lettuce-leaves,
+    O let us leave this tree, and eat
+    Lettuce, O let us, lettuce-leaves!"
+
+And instantly the seven young Guinea Pigs rushed with such extreme force
+against the lettuce-plant, and hit their heads so vividly against its
+stalk, that the concussion brought on directly an incipient transitional
+inflammation of their noses, which grew worse and worse and worse and
+worse, till it incidentally killed them all seven.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Guinea Pigs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER X.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG CATS.
+
+The seven young Cats set off on their travels with great delight and
+rapacity. But, on coming to the top of a high hill, they perceived at a
+long distance off a Clangle-Wangle (or, as it is more properly written,
+Clangel-Wangel); and, in spite of the warning they had had, they ran
+straight up to it.
+
+(Now, the Clangle-Wangle is a most dangerous and delusive beast, and by no
+means commonly to be met with. They live in the water as well as on land,
+using their long tail as a sail when in the former element. Their speed is
+extreme; but their habits of life are domestic and superfluous, and their
+general demeanor pensive and pellucid. On summer evenings, they may
+sometimes be observed near the Lake Pipple-Popple, standing on their heads,
+and humming their national melodies. They subsist entirely on vegetables,
+excepting when they eat veal or mutton or pork or beef or fish or
+saltpetre.)
+
+The moment the Clangle-Wangle saw the seven young Cats approach, he ran
+away; and as he ran straight on for four months, and the Cats, though they
+continued to run, could never overtake him, they all gradually _died_ of
+fatigue and exhaustion, and never afterwards recovered.
+
+And this was the end of the seven young Cats.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XI.
+
+THE HISTORY OF THE SEVEN YOUNG FISHES.
+
+The seven young Fishes swam across the Lake Pipple-Popple, and into the
+river, and into the ocean; where, most unhappily for them, they saw, on the
+fifteenth day of their travels, a bright-blue Boss-Woss, and instantly swam
+after him. But the Blue Boss-Woss plunged into a
+    perpendicular,
+        spicular,
+            orbicular,
+                quadrangular,
+                     circular depth of soft mud;
+where, in fact, his house was.
+
+And the seven young Fishes, swimming with great and uncomfortable velocity,
+plunged also into the mud quite against their will, and, not being
+accustomed to it, were all suffocated in a very short period.
+
+And that was the end of the seven young Fishes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XII.
+
+OF WHAT OCCURRED SUBSEQUENTLY.
+
+After it was known that the
+
+            seven young Parrots,
+    and the seven young Storks,
+    and the seven young Geese,
+    and the seven young Owls,
+    and the seven young Guinea Pigs,
+    and the seven young Cats,
+    and the seven young Fishes,
+
+were all dead, then the Frog, and the Plum-pudding Flea, and the Mouse, and
+the Clangle-Wangle, and the Blue Boss-Woss, all met together to rejoice
+over their good fortune. And they collected the seven feathers of the seven
+young Parrots, and the seven bills of the seven young Storks, and the
+lettuce, and the cherry; and having placed the latter on the lettuce, and
+the other objects in a circular arrangement at their base, they danced a
+hornpipe round all these memorials until they were quite tired; after which
+they gave a tea-party, and a garden-party, and a ball, and a concert, and
+then returned to their respective homes full of joy and respect, sympathy,
+satisfaction, and disgust.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+CHAPTER XIII.
+
+OF WHAT BECAME OF THE PARENTS OF THE FORTY-NINE CHILDREN.
+
+BUT when the two old Parrots,
+     and the two old Storks,
+     and the two old Geese,
+     and the two old Owls,
+     and the two old Guinea Pigs,
+     and the two old Cats,
+     and the two old Fishes,
+
+became aware, by reading in the newspapers, of the calamitous extinction of
+the whole of their families, they refused all further sustenance; and,
+sending out to various shops, they purchased great quantities of Cayenne
+pepper and brandy and vinegar and blue sealing-wax, besides seven immense
+glass bottles with air-tight stoppers. And, having done this, they ate a
+light supper of brown-bread and Jerusalem artichokes, and took an
+affecting and formal leave of the whole of their acquaintance, which was
+very numerous and distinguished and select and responsible and ridiculous.
+
+
+CHAPTER XIV.
+
+CONCLUSION.
+
+And after this they filled the bottles with the ingredients for pickling,
+and each couple jumped into a separate bottle; by which effort, of course,
+they all died immediately, and became thoroughly pickled in a few minutes;
+having previously made their wills (by the assistance of the most eminent
+lawyers of the district), in which they left strict orders that the
+stoppers of the seven bottles should be carefully sealed up with the blue
+sealing-wax they had purchased; and that they themselves, in the bottles,
+should be presented to the principal museum of the city of Tosh, to be
+labelled with parchment or any other anti-congenial succedaneum, and to be
+placed on a marble table with silver-gilt legs, for the daily inspection
+and contemplation, and for the perpetual benefit, of the pusillanimous
+public.
+
+And if you ever happen to go to Gramble-Blamble, and visit that museum in
+the city of Tosh, look for them on the ninety-eighth table in the four
+hundred and twenty-seventh room of the right-hand corridor of the left wing
+of the central quadrangle of that magnificent building; for, if you do not,
+you certainly will not see them.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+                 NONSENSE COOKERY.
+
+Extract from "The Nonsense Gazette," for August, 1870.
+
+"Our readers will be interested in the following communications from our
+valued and learned contributor, Prof. Bosh, whose labors in the fields of
+culinary and botanical science are so well known to all the world. The
+first three articles richly merit to be added to the domestic cookery of
+every family: those which follow claim the attention of all botanists; and
+we are happy to be able, through Dr. Bosh's kindness, to present our
+readers with illustrations of his discoveries. All the new flowers are
+found in the Valley of Verrikwier, near the Lake of Oddgrow, and on the
+summit of the Hill Orfeltugg."
+
+
+
+THREE RECEIPTS FOR DOMESTIC COOKERY.
+
+
+TO MAKE AN AMBLONGUS PIE.
+
+Take 4 pounds (say 4-1/2 pounds) of fresh Amblongusses, and put them in a
+small pipkin.
+
+Cover them with water, and boil them for 8 hours incessantly; after which
+add 2 pints of new milk, and proceed to boil for 4 hours more.
+
+When you have ascertained that the Amblongusses are quite soft, take them
+out, and place them in a wide pan, taking care to shake them well
+previously.
+
+Grate some nutmeg over the surface, and cover them carefully with powdered
+gingerbread, curry-powder, and a sufficient quantity of Cayenne pepper.
+
+Remove the pan into the next room, and place it on the floor. Bring it back
+again, and let it simmer for three-quarters of an hour. Shake the pan
+violently till all the Amblongusses have become of a pale purple color.
+
+Then, having prepared the paste, insert the whole carefully; adding at the
+same time a small pigeon, 2 slices of beef, 4 cauliflowers, and any number
+of oysters.
+
+Watch patiently till the crust begins to rise, and add a pinch of salt from
+time to time.
+
+Serve up in a clean dish, and throw the whole out of window as fast as
+possible.
+
+
+TO MAKE CRUMBOBBLIOUS CUTLETS.
+
+Procure some strips of beef, and, having cut them into the smallest
+possible slices, proceed to cut them still smaller,--eight, or perhaps
+nine times.
+
+When the whole is thus minced, brush it up hastily with a new
+clothes-brush, and stir round rapidly and capriciously with a salt-spoon
+or a soup-ladle.
+
+Place the whole in a saucepan, and remove it to a sunny place,--say the
+roof of the house, if free from sparrows or other birds,--and leave it
+there for about a week.
+
+At the end of that time add a little lavender, some oil of almonds, and a
+few herring-bones; and then cover the whole with 4 gallons of clarified
+Crumbobblious sauce, when it will be ready for use.
+
+Cut it into the shape of ordinary cutlets, and serve up in a clean
+table-cloth or dinner-napkin.
+
+
+TO MAKE GOSKY PATTIES.
+
+Take a pig three or four years of age, and tie him by the off hind-leg to a
+post. Place 5 pounds of currants, 3 of sugar, 2 pecks of peas, 18 roast
+chestnuts, a candle, and 6 bushels of turnips, within his reach: if he eats
+these, constantly provide him with more.
+
+Then procure some cream, some slices of Cheshire cheese, 4 quires of
+foolscap paper, and a packet of black pins. Work the whole into a paste,
+and spread it out to dry on a sheet of clean brown waterproof linen.
+
+When the paste is perfectly dry, but not before, proceed to beat the pig
+violently with the handle of a large broom. If he squeals, beat him again.
+
+Visit the paste and beat the pig alternately for some days, and ascertain
+if, at the end of that period, the whole is about to turn into Gosky
+Patties.
+
+If it does not then, it never will; and in that case the pig may be let
+loose, and the whole process may be considered as finished.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Baccopipia Gracilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bottlephorkia Spoonifolia.]
+
+[Illustration: Cockatooca Superba.]
+
+[Illustration: Fishia Marina.]
+
+[Illustration: Guittara Pensilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Manypeeplia Upsidownia.]
+
+[Illustration: Phattfacia Stupenda.]
+
+[Illustration: Piggiwiggia Pyramidalis.]
+
+[Illustration: Plumbunnia Nutritiosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Pollybirdia Singularis.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE ALPHABETS.
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    A was an ant
+    Who seldom stood still,
+    And who made a nice house
+    In the side of a hill.
+
+            a!
+     Nice little ant!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    B was a book
+    With a binding of blue,
+    And pictures and stories
+    For me and for you.
+
+            b!
+     Nice little book!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    C was a cat
+    Who ran after a rat;
+    But his courage did fail
+    When she seized on his tail.
+
+            c!
+      Crafty old cat!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    D was a duck
+    With spots on his back,
+    Who lived in the water,
+    And always said "Quack!"
+
+            d!
+      Dear little duck!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    E was an elephant,
+    Stately and wise:
+    He had tusks and a trunk,
+    And two queer little eyes.
+
+            e!
+    Oh, what funny small eyes!
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+
+    F was a fish
+    Who was caught in a net;
+    But he got out again,
+    And is quite alive yet.
+
+            f!
+      Lively young fish!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    G was a goat
+    Who was spotted with brown:
+    When he did not lie still
+    He walked up and down.
+
+            g!
+      Good little goat!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    H was a hat
+    Which was all on one side;
+    Its crown was too high,
+    And its brim was too wide.
+
+            h!
+      Oh, what a hat!
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    I was some ice
+    So white and so nice,
+    But which nobody tasted;
+    And so it was wasted.
+
+            i!
+    All that good ice!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+
+    J was a jackdaw
+    Who hopped up and down
+    In the principal street
+    Of a neighboring town.
+
+            j!
+     All through the town!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    K was a kite
+    Which flew out of sight,
+    Above houses so high,
+    Quite into the sky.
+
+            k
+       Fly away, kite!
+
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    L was a light
+    Which burned all the night,
+    And lighted the gloom
+    Of a very dark room.
+
+            l!
+     Useful nice light!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    M was a mill
+    Which stood on a hill,
+    And turned round and round
+    With a loud hummy sound.
+
+            m!
+      Useful old mill!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    N was a net
+    Which was thrown in the sea
+    To catch fish for dinner
+    For you and for me.
+
+            n!
+      Nice little net!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    O was an orange
+    So yellow and round:
+    When it fell off the tree,
+    It fell down to the ground.
+
+            o!
+    Down to the ground!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    P was a pig,
+    Who was not very big;
+    But his tail was too curly,
+    And that made him surly.
+
+            p!
+    Cross little pig!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a quail
+    With a very short tail;
+    And he fed upon corn
+    In the evening and morn.
+
+            q!
+    Quaint little quail!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    R was a rabbit,
+    Who had a bad habit
+    Of eating the flowers
+    In gardens and bowers.
+
+            r!
+     Naughty fat rabbit!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    S was the sugar-tongs,
+    Nippity-nee,
+    To take up the sugar
+    To put in our tea.
+
+            s!
+       Nippity-nee!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    T was a tortoise,
+    All yellow and black:
+    He walked slowly away,
+    And he never came back.
+
+            t!
+    Torty never came back!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    U was an urn
+    All polished and bright,
+    And full of hot water
+    At noon and at night.
+
+            u!
+     Useful old urn!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    V was a villa
+    Which stood on a hill,
+    By the side of a river,
+    And close to a mill.
+
+            v!
+    Nice little villa!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    W was a whale
+    With a very long tail,
+    Whose movements were frantic
+    Across the Atlantic.
+
+            w!
+   Monstrous old whale!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes,
+    Who, more than all Turks, is
+    Renowned for his fashion
+    Of fury and passion.
+
+            x!
+    Angry old Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a yew,
+    Which flourished and grew
+    By a quiet abode
+    Near the side of a road.
+
+            y!
+     Dark little yew!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Z was some zinc,
+    So shiny and bright,
+    Which caused you to wink
+    In the sun's merry light.
+
+            z!
+       Beautiful zinc!
+
+
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            a
+
+    A was once an apple-pie,
+        Pidy,
+        Widy,
+        Tidy,
+        Pidy,
+      Nice insidy,
+      Apple-pie!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            b
+
+    B was once a little bear,
+        Beary,
+        Wary,
+        Hairy,
+        Beary,
+      Taky cary,
+      Little bear!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            c
+
+    C was once a little cake,
+        Caky,
+        Baky,
+        Maky,
+        Caky,
+      Taky caky,
+      Little cake!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            d
+
+    D was once a little doll,
+        Dolly,
+        Molly,
+        Polly,
+        Nolly,
+      Nursy dolly,
+      Little doll!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            e
+
+    E was once a little eel,
+        Eely,
+        Weely,
+        Peely,
+        Eely,
+      Twirly, tweely,
+        Little eel!
+
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            f
+
+    F was once a little fish,
+        Fishy,
+        Wishy,
+        Squishy,
+        Fishy,
+      In a dishy,
+      Little fish!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            g
+
+    G was once a little goose,
+        Goosy,
+        Moosy,
+        Boosey,
+        Goosey,
+      Waddly-woosy,
+      Little goose!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            h
+
+    H was once a little hen,
+        Henny,
+        Chenny,
+        Tenny,
+        Henny.
+      Eggsy-any,
+      Little hen?
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            i
+
+    I was once a bottle of ink
+        Inky,
+        Dinky,
+        Thinky,
+        Inky,
+      Blacky minky,
+      Bottle of ink!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            j
+
+    J was once a jar of jam,
+        Jammy,
+        Mammy,
+        Clammy,
+        Jammy,
+      Sweety, swammy,
+        Jar of jam!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            k
+
+    K was once a little kite,
+        Kity,
+        Whity,
+        Flighty,
+        Kity,
+      Out of sighty,
+        Little kite!
+
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            l
+
+    L was once a little lark,
+        Larky,
+        Marky,
+        Harky,
+        Larky,
+      In the parky,
+      Little lark!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            m
+
+    M was once a little mouse,
+        Mousy,
+        Bousy,
+        Sousy,
+        Mousy,
+      In the housy,
+      Little mouse!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            n
+
+    N was once a little needle,
+        Needly,
+        Tweedly,
+        Threedly,
+        Needly,
+      Wisky, wheedly,
+      Little needle!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            o
+
+    O was once a little owl,
+        Owly,
+        Prowly,
+        Howly,
+        Owly,
+      Browny fowly,
+      Little owl!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            p
+
+    P was once a little pump,
+        Pumpy,
+        Slumpy,
+        Flumpy,
+        Pumpy,
+      Dumpy, thumpy,
+        Little pump!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            q
+
+    Q was once a little quail,
+        Quaily,
+        Faily,
+        Daily,
+        Quaily,
+      Stumpy-taily,
+      Little quail!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            r
+
+    R was once a little rose,
+        Rosy,
+        Posy,
+        Nosy,
+        Rosy,
+     Blows-y, grows-y,
+       Little rose!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            s
+
+    S was once a little shrimp,
+        Shrimpy,
+        Nimpy,
+        Flimpy,
+        Shrimpy.
+     Jumpy, jimpy,
+      Little shrimp!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            t
+
+    T was once a little thrush,
+        Thrushy,
+        Hushy,
+        Bushy,
+        Thrushy,
+      Flitty, flushy,
+      Little thrush!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            u
+
+    U was once a little urn,
+           Urny,
+           Burny,
+           Turny,
+           Urny,
+      Bubbly, burny,
+        Little urn!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            v
+
+    V was once a little vine,
+        Viny,
+        Winy,
+        Twiny,
+        Viny,
+      Twisty-twiny,
+      Little vine!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            w
+
+    W was once a whale,
+        Whaly,
+        Scaly,
+        Shaly,
+        Whaly,
+      Tumbly-taily,
+      Mighty whale!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            x
+
+    X was once a great king Xerxes,
+          Xerxy,
+          Perxy,
+          Turxy,
+          Xerxy,
+        Linxy, lurxy,
+      Great King Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            y
+
+    Y was once a little yew,
+        Yewdy,
+        Fewdy,
+        Crudy,
+        Yewdy,
+    Growdy, grewdy,
+      Little yew!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+            z
+
+    Z was once a piece of zinc,
+        Tinky,
+        Winky,
+        Blinky,
+        Tinky,
+      Tinkly minky,
+      Piece of zinc!
+
+
+
+
+            A
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    A was an ape,
+    Who stole some white tape,
+    And tied up his toes
+    In four beautiful bows.
+
+            a!
+
+    Funny old ape!
+
+
+            B
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    B was a bat,
+    Who slept all the day,
+    And fluttered about
+    When the sun went away.
+
+            b!
+
+    Brown little bat!
+
+
+            C
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    C was a camel:
+    You rode on his hump;
+    And if you fell off,
+    You came down such a bump!
+
+
+            c!
+
+    What a high camel!
+
+
+            D
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    D was a dove,
+    Who lived in a wood,
+    With such pretty soft wings,
+    And so gentle and good!
+
+            d!
+
+    Dear little dove!
+
+
+            E
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    E was an eagle,
+    Who sat on the rocks,
+    And looked down on the fields
+    And the-far-away flocks.
+
+            e!
+
+    Beautiful eagle!
+
+
+            F
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    F was a fan
+    Made of beautiful stuff;
+    And when it was used,
+    It went puffy-puff-puff!
+
+            f!
+
+    Nice little fan!
+
+
+            G
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    G was a gooseberry,
+    Perfectly red;
+    To be made into jam,
+    And eaten with bread.
+
+            g!
+
+    Gooseberry red!
+
+
+            H
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    H was a heron,
+    Who stood in a stream:
+    The length of his neck
+    And his legs was extreme.
+
+            h!
+
+    Long-legged heron!
+
+
+            I
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    I was an inkstand,
+    Which stood on a table,
+    With a nice pen to write with
+    When we are able.
+
+            i!
+
+    Neat little inkstand!
+
+
+            J
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    J was a jug,
+    So pretty and white,
+    With fresh water in it
+    At morning and night.
+
+            j!
+
+    Nice little jug!
+
+
+            K
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    K was a kingfisher:
+    Quickly he flew,
+    So bright and so pretty!--
+    Green, purple, and blue.
+
+            k!
+
+    Kingfisher blue!
+
+            L
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    L was a lily,
+    So white and so sweet!
+    To see it and smell it
+    Was quite a nice treat.
+
+            l!
+
+    Beautiful lily!
+
+
+            M
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    M was a man,
+    Who walked round and round;
+    And he wore a long coat
+    That came down to the ground.
+
+            m!
+
+    Funny old man!
+
+
+            N
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    N was a nut
+    So smooth and so brown!
+    And when it was ripe,
+    It fell tumble-dum-down.
+
+            n!
+
+    Nice little nut!
+
+
+            O
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    O was an oyster,
+    Who lived in his shell:
+    If you let him alone,
+    He felt perfectly well.
+
+            o!
+
+    Open-mouthed oyster!
+
+
+            P
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    P was a polly,
+    All red, blue, and green,--
+    The most beautiful polly
+    That ever was seen.
+
+            p!
+
+    Poor little polly!
+
+
+            Q
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a quill
+    Made into a pen;
+    But I do not know where,
+    And I cannot say when.
+
+            q!
+
+    Nice little quill!
+
+
+            R
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    R was a rattlesnake,
+    Rolled up so tight,
+    Those who saw him ran quickly,
+    For fear he should bite.
+
+            r!
+
+    Rattlesnake bite!
+
+
+            S
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    S was a screw
+    To screw down a box;
+    And then it was fastened
+    Without any locks.
+
+            s!
+
+    Valuable screw!
+
+
+            T
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    T was a thimble,
+    Of silver so bright!
+    When placed on the finger,
+    It fitted so tight!
+
+            t!
+
+    Nice little thimble!
+
+
+            U
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    U was an upper-coat,
+    Woolly and warm,
+    To wear over all
+    In the snow or the storm.
+
+            u!
+
+    What a nice upper-coat!
+
+
+            V
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    V was a veil
+    With a border upon it,
+    And a ribbon to tie it
+    All round a pink bonnet.
+
+            v!
+
+    Pretty green veil!
+
+
+            W
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    W was a watch,
+    Where, in letters of gold,
+    The hour of the day
+    You might always behold.
+
+            w!
+
+    Beautiful watch!
+
+
+            X
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes,
+    Who wore on his head
+    A mighty large turban,
+    Green, yellow, and red.
+
+            x!
+
+    Look at King Xerxes!
+
+
+            Y
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a yak,
+    From the land of Thibet:
+    Except his white tail,
+    He was all black as jet.
+
+            y!
+
+    Look at the yak!
+
+
+            Z
+
+     [Illustration]
+
+    Z was a zebra,
+    All striped white and black;
+    And if he were tame,
+    You might ride on his back.
+
+            z!
+
+    Pretty striped zebra!
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+MORE NONSENSE
+
+Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+CONTENTS.
+
+  NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+  ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES
+
+  TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+INTRODUCTION.
+
+In offering this little book--the third of its kind--to the public, I am
+glad to take the opportunity of recording the pleasure I have received at
+the appreciation its predecessors have met with, as attested by their wide
+circulation, and by the universally kind notices of them from the Press. To
+have been the means of administering innocent mirth to thousands, may
+surely be a just motive for satisfaction, and an excuse for grateful
+expression.
+
+At the same time, I am desirous of adding a few words as to the history of
+the two previously published volumes, and more particularly of the first or
+original "Book of Nonsense," relating to which many absurd reports have
+crept into circulation, such as that it was the composition of the late
+Lord Brougham, the late Earl of Derby, etc.; that the rhymes and pictures
+are by different persons; or that the whole have a symbolical meaning,
+etc.; whereas, every one of the Rhymes was composed by myself, and every
+one of the Illustrations drawn by my own hand at the time the verses were
+made. Moreover, in no portion of these Nonsense drawings have I ever
+allowed any caricature of private or public persons to appear, and
+throughout, more care than might be supposed has been given to make the
+subjects incapable of misinterpretation: "Nonsense," pure and absolute,
+having been my aim throughout.
+
+As for the persistently absurd report of the late Earl of Derby being the
+author of the "First Book of Nonsense," I may relate an incident which
+occurred to me four summers ago, the first that gave me any insight into
+the origin of the rumor.
+
+I was on my way from London to Guildford, in a railway carriage,
+containing, besides myself, one passenger, an elderly gentleman: presently,
+however, two ladies entered, accompanied by two little boys. These, who had
+just had a copy of the "Book of Nonsense" given them, were loud in their
+delight, and by degrees infected the whole party with their mirth.
+
+"How grateful," said the old gentleman to the two ladies, "all children,
+and parents too, ought to be to the statesman who has given his time to
+composing that charming book!"
+
+(The ladies looked puzzled, as indeed was I, the author.)
+
+"Do you not know who is the writer of it?" asked the gentleman.
+
+"The name is 'Edward Lear,'" said one of the ladies.
+
+"Ah!" said the first speaker, "so it is printed; but that is only a whim of
+the real author, the Earl of Derby. 'Edward' is his Christian name, and, as
+you may see, LEAR is only EARL transposed."
+
+"But," said the lady, doubtingly, "here is a dedication to the
+great-grandchildren, grand-nephews, and grand-nieces of Edward, thirteenth
+Earl of Derby, by the author, Edward Lear."
+
+"That," replied the other, "is simply a piece of mystification; I am in a
+position to know that the whole book was composed and illustrated by Lord
+Derby himself. In fact, there is no such a person at all as Edward Lear."
+
+"Yet," said the other lady, "some friends of mine tell me they know Mr.
+Lear."
+
+"Quite a mistake! completely a mistake!" said the old gentleman, becoming
+rather angry at the contradiction; "I am well aware of what I am saying: I
+can inform you, no such a person as 'Edward Lear' exists!"
+
+Hitherto I had kept silence; but as my hat was, as well as my handkerchief
+and stick, largely marked inside with my name, and as I happened to have in
+my pocket several letters addressed to me, the temptation was too great to
+resist; so, flashing all these articles at once on my would-be
+extinguisher's attention, I speedily reduced him to silence.
+
+The second volume of Nonsense, commencing with the verses, "The Owl and the
+Pussy-Cat," was written at different times, and for different sets of
+children: the whole being collected in the course of last year, were then
+illustrated, and published in a single volume, by Mr. R.J. Bush, of 32
+Charing Cross.
+
+The contents of the third or present volume were made also at different
+intervals in the last two years.
+
+Long years ago, in days when much of my time was passed in a country house,
+where children and mirth abounded, the lines beginning, "There was an old
+man of Tobago," were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+lending itself to limitless variety for rhymes and pictures; and
+thenceforth the greater part of the original drawings and verses for the
+first "Book of Nonsense" were struck off with a pen, no assistance ever
+having been given me in any way but that of uproarious delight and welcome
+at the appearance of every new absurdity.
+
+Most of these Drawings and Rhymes were transferred to lithographic stones
+in the year 1846, and were then first published by Mr. Thomas McLean, of
+the Haymarket. But that edition having been soon exhausted, and the call
+for the "Book of Nonsense" continuing, I added a considerable number of
+subjects to those previously-published, and having caused the whole to be
+carefully reproduced in woodcuts by Messrs. Dalzell, I disposed of the
+copyright to Messrs. Routledge and Warne, by whom the volume was published
+in 1843.
+                                                              EDWARD LEAR.
+
+VILLA EMILY, SAN REMO,
+August, 1871.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Barkia Howlaloudia.]
+
+[Illustration: Enkoopia Chickabiddia.]
+
+[Illustration: Jinglia Tinkettlia.]
+
+[Illustration: Nasticreechia Krorluppia.]
+
+[Illustration: Arthbroomia Rigida.]
+
+[Illustration: Sophtsluggia Glutinosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Minspysia Deliciosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Shoebootia Utilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Stunnia Dinnerbellia.]
+
+[Illustration: Tickia Orologica.]
+
+[Illustration: Washtubbia Circularis.]
+
+[Illustration: Tigerlillia Terribilis.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Bantry,
+    Who frequently slept in the pantry;
+    When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,
+    That judicious young person of Bantry.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man at a Junction,
+    Whose feelings were wrung with compunction
+    When they said, "The Train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How forlorn!"
+    But remained on the rails of the Junction.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Minety,
+    Who purchased five hundred and ninety
+    Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares
+    At the heads of the people of Minety.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Thermopylae,
+    Who never did anything properly;
+    But they said, "If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,
+    You shall never remain in Thermopylae."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Deal,
+    Who in walking used only his heel;
+    When they said, "Tell us why?" he made no reply,
+    That mysterious old person of Deal.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man on the Humber,
+    Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;
+    When he said, "It's enough!" they only said, "Stuff!
+    You amazing old man on the Humber!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a barge,
+    Whose nose was exceedingly large;
+    But in fishing by night, it supported a light,
+    Which helped that old man in a barge.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dunrose;
+    A parrot seized hold of his nose.
+    When he grew melancholy, they said, "His name's Polly,"
+    Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Toulouse
+    Who purchased a new pair of shoes;
+    When they asked, "Are they pleasant?" he said, "Not at present!"
+    That turbid old man of Toulouse.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bree,
+    Who frequented the depths of the sea;
+    She nurs'd the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,
+    And swam back again into Bree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bromley,
+    Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;
+    He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,
+    That unpleasing old person of Bromley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Shields,
+    Who frequented the vallies and fields;
+    All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,
+    Followed after that person of Shields.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dunluce,
+    Who went out to sea on a goose:
+    When he'd gone out a mile, he observ'd with a smile,
+    "It is time to return to Dunluce."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dee-side
+    Whose hat was exceedingly wide,
+    But he said, "Do not fail, if it happen to hail,
+    To come under my hat at Dee-side!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person in black,
+    A Grasshopper jumped on his back;
+    When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,
+    That helpless old person in black.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of the Dargle
+    Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;
+    For he said, "I'll sit still, and will roll them down hill,
+    For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pinner,
+    As thin as a lath, if not thinner;
+    They dressed him in white, and roll'd him up tight,
+    That elastic old person of Pinner.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of China,
+    Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,
+    Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,
+    And all of them settled in China.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a Marsh,
+    Whose manners were futile and harsh;
+    He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,
+    That instructive old man in a Marsh.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Brill,
+    Who purchased a shirt with a frill;
+    But they said, "Don't you wish, you mayn't look like a fish,
+    You obsequious old person of Brill?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Wick,
+    Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;
+    Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he said nothing more,
+    That laconic old person of Wick.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man at a Station,
+    Who made a promiscuous oration;
+    But they said, "Take some snuff!--You have talk'd quite enough,
+    You afflicting old man at a Station!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Three Bridges,
+    Whose mind was distracted by midges,
+    He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,
+    Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Hong Kong,
+    Who never did anything wrong;
+    He lay on his back, with his head in a sack,
+    That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in green,
+    Who seldom was fit to be seen;
+    She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all,
+    Which enveloped that person in green.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Fife,
+    Who was greatly disgusted with life;
+    They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,
+    Which cured that old person of Fife.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man who screamed out
+    Whenever they knocked him about:
+    So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,
+    And continued to knock him about.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady in white,
+    Who looked out at the depths of the night;
+    But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,
+    And oppressed that young lady in white.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Slough,
+    Who danced at the end of a bough;
+    But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,
+    You imprudent old person of Slough."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Down,
+    Whose face was adorned with a frown;
+    When he opened the door, for one minute or more,
+    He alarmed all the people of Down.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in red,
+    Who carefully covered her head,
+    With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather,
+    Besides some long ribands of red.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Hove,
+    Who frequented the depths of a grove;
+    Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,
+    That tranquil old person of Hove.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person in pink,
+    Who called out for something to drink;
+    But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water!"
+    Which vexed that young person in pink.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old lady of France,
+    Who taught little ducklings to dance;
+    When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they only said, "Quack!"
+    Which grieved that old lady of France.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Putney,
+    Whose food was roast spiders and chutney,
+    Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea,
+    That romantic old person of Putney.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Loo,
+    Who said, "What on earth shall I do?"
+    When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay,
+    That vexatious old person of Loo.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Woking,
+    Whose mind was perverse and provoking;
+    He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail,
+    That illusive old person of Woking.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Dean
+    Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
+    For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"
+    That cautious old person of Dean.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady in blue,
+    Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?"
+    When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!"
+    That ungracious young lady in blue.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Man in a Garden,
+    Who always begged every one's pardon;
+    When they asked him, "What for?" he replied, "You're a bore!
+    And I trust you'll go out of my garden."
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pisa,
+    Whose daughters did nothing to please her;
+    She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day,
+    Round the walls of the city of Pisa.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Florence,
+    Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
+    He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,
+    Which choked that old person of Florence.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sheen,
+    Whose expression was calm and serene;
+    He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,
+    That placid old person of Sheen.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ware,
+    Who rode on the back of a bear;
+    When they ask'd, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!
+    He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Janina,
+    Whose uncle was always a fanning her;
+    When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said,
+    "You propitious old person of Janina!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Cashmere,
+    Whose movements were scroobious and queer;
+    Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,
+    And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Cassel,
+    Whose nose finished off in a tassel;
+    But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell!"
+    Which perplexed that old person of Cassel.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Pett,
+    Who was partly consumed by regret;
+    He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,
+    Which relieved that old person of Pett.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Spithead,
+    Who opened the window, and said,--
+    "Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"
+    That doubtful old man of Spithead.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man on the Border,
+    Who lived in the utmost disorder;
+    He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,
+    Which vexed all the folks on the Border.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dumbree,
+    Who taught little owls to drink tea;
+    For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"
+    That amiable man of Dumbree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Filey,
+    Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
+    He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,
+    And delighted the people of Filey.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man whose remorse
+    Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;
+    For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,
+    It will certainly soothe your remorse!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Ibreem,
+    Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;
+    But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue,
+    You disgusting old man of Ibreem!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Wilts,
+    Who constantly walked upon stilts;
+    He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,
+    That elegant person of Wilts.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Grange,
+    Whose manners were scroobious and strange;
+    He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,
+    That aquatic old person of Grange.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Newry,
+    Whose manners were tinctured with fury;
+    He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,
+    Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Dumblane,
+    Who greatly resembled a crane;
+    But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
+    To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Port Grigor,
+    Whose actions were noted for vigour;
+    He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,
+    That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of El Hums,
+    Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
+    Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
+    In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of West Dumpet,
+    Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
+    When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,
+    And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sark,
+    Who made an unpleasant remark;
+    But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be,
+    You obnoxious old person of Sark!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man whose despair
+    Induced him to purchase a hare:
+    Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away,
+    Which partly assuaged his despair.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Barnes,
+    Whose garments were covered with darns;
+    But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out,
+    You luminous person of Barnes!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Nice,
+    Whose associates were usually Geese.
+    They walked out together in all sorts of weather,
+    That affable person of Nice!
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Greenwich,
+    Whose garments were border'd with Spinach;
+    But a large spotty Calf bit her shawl quite in half,
+    Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Cannes,
+    Who purchased three fowls and a fan;
+    Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool
+    She constantly fanned them at Cannes.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ickley,
+    Who could not abide to ride quickly;
+    He rode to Karnak on a tortoise's back,
+    That moony old person of Ickley.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Hyde,
+    Who walked by the shore with his bride,
+    Till a Crab who came near fill'd their bosoms with fear,
+    And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person in gray,
+    Whose feelings were tinged with dismay;
+    She purchased two parrots, and fed them with carrots,
+    Which pleased that old person in gray.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Ancona,
+    Who found a small dog with no owner,
+    Which he took up and down all the streets of the town,
+    That anxious old man of Ancona.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Sestri,
+    Who sate himself down in the vestry;
+    When they said, "You are wrong!" he merely said "Bong!"
+    That repulsive old person of Sestri.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Blythe,
+    Who cut up his meat with a scythe;
+    When they said, "Well! I never!" he cried, "Scythes for ever!"
+    That lively old person of Blythe.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Ayr,
+    Whose head was remarkably square:
+    On the top, in fine weather, she wore a gold feather;
+    Which dazzled the people of Ayr.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Rimini,
+    Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!"
+    When they said, "Please be still!" she ran down a hill,
+    And was never more heard of at Rimini.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There is a young lady, whose nose,
+    Continually prospers and grows;
+    When it grew out of sight, she exclaimed in a fright,
+    "Oh! Farewell to the end of my nose!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Ealing,
+    Who was wholly devoid of good feeling;
+    He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig,
+    Which distressed all the people of Ealing.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Thames Ditton,
+    Who called out for something to sit on;
+    But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon that,
+    You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bray,
+    Who sang through the whole of the day
+    To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs,
+    That valuable person of Bray.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person whose history
+    Was always considered a mystery;
+    She sate in a ditch, although no one knew which,
+    And composed a small treatise on history.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bow,
+    Whom nobody happened to know;
+    So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope
+    You will go back directly to Bow!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Rye,
+    Who went up to town on a fly;
+    But they said, "If you cough, you are safe to fall off!
+    You abstemious old person of Rye!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Crowle,
+    Who lived in the nest of an owl;
+    When they screamed in the nest, he screamed out with the rest,
+    That depressing old person of Crowle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,
+    Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see
+    On the floor of my room, sweep it up with the broom!"
+    That exhaustive old Lady of Winchelsea!
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man in a tree,
+    Whose whiskers were lovely to see;
+    But the birds of the air pluck'd them perfectly bare,
+    To make themselves nests in that tree.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Corsica,
+    Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur;
+    Which she fed upon ham, and hot raspberry jam,
+    That expensive young lady of Corsica.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young lady of Firle,
+    Whose hair was addicted to curl;
+    It curled up a tree, and all over the sea,
+    That expansive young lady of Firle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Stroud,
+    Who was horribly jammed in a crowd;
+    Some she slew with a kick, some she scrunched with a stick,
+    That impulsive old person of Stroud.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Boulak,
+    Who sate on a Crocodile's back;
+    But they said, "Towr'ds the night he may probably bite,
+    Which might vex you, old man of Boulak!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Skye,
+    Who waltz'd with a Bluebottle fly:
+    They buzz'd a sweet tune, to the light of the moon,
+    And entranced all the people of Skye.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Blackheath,
+    Whose head was adorned with a wreath
+    Of lobsters and spice, pickled onions and mice,
+    That uncommon old man of Blackheath.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man, who when little
+    Fell casually into a kettle;
+    But, growing too stout, he could never get out,
+    So he passed all his life in that kettle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Dundalk,
+    Who tried to teach fishes to walk;
+    When they tumbled down dead, he grew weary, and said,
+    "I had better go back to Dundalk!"
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Shoreham,
+    Whose habits were marked by decorum;
+    He bought an Umbrella, and sate in the cellar,
+    Which pleased all the people of Shoreham.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bar,
+    Who passed all her life in a jar,
+    Which she painted pea-green, to appear more serene,
+    That placid old person of Bar.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was a young person of Kew,
+    Whose virtues and vices were few;
+    But with blamable haste she devoured some hot paste,
+    Which destroyed that young person of Kew.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Jodd,
+    Whose ways were perplexing and odd;
+    She purchased a whistle, and sate on a thistle,
+    And squeaked to the people of Jodd.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Bude,
+    Whose deportment was vicious and crude;
+    He wore a large ruff of pale straw-colored stuff,
+    Which perplexed all the people of Bude.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old person of Brigg,
+    Who purchased no end of a wig;
+    So that only his nose, and the end of his toes,
+    Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    There was an old man of Messina,
+    Whose daughter was named Opsibeena;
+    She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig,
+    To the perfect delight of Messina.
+
+
+
+
+TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES.
+
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,
+    who resided in a Barrel, and only lived on
+    Soda Water and Pickled Cucumbers.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Bountiful Beetle,
+    who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn't rain,
+    and left it at home when it did.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Comfortable Confidential Cow,
+    who sate in her Red Morocco Arm Chair and
+    toasted her own Bread at the parlour Fire.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Dolomphious Duck,
+    who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner
+    with a Runcible Spoon.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Enthusiastic Elephant,
+    who ferried himself across the water with the
+    Kitchen Poker and a New pair of Ear-rings.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Fizzgiggious Fish,
+    who always walked about upon Stilts,
+    because he had no legs.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Good-natured Grey Gull,
+    who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag,
+    across the river, because he could not swim.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,
+    who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,
+    and bought a Fish for her Supper.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Inventive Indian,
+    who caught a Remarkable Rabbit in a
+    Stupendous Silver Spoon.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Judicious Jubilant Jay,
+    who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses,
+    Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Kicking Kangaroo,
+    who wore a Pale Pink Muslin dress
+    with Blue spots.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Lively Learned Lobster,
+    who mended his own Clothes with
+    a Needle and Thread.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,
+    who played a merry minuet on the
+    Piano-forte.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Nutritious Newt,
+    who purchased a Round Plum-pudding
+    for his grand-daughter.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,
+    who wore Boots to keep his
+    feet quite dry.
+
+    [Illustration: PARSNIP PIE]
+
+    The Perpendicular Purple Polly,
+    who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie
+    with his Spectacles.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Queer Querulous Quail,
+    who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of
+    a Tin Tea-kettle.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Rural Runcible Raven,
+    who wore a White Wig and flew away
+    with the Carpet Broom.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Scroobious Snake,
+    who always wore a Hat on his Head, for
+    fear he should bite anybody.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,
+    who beat a Drum all day long in the
+    middle of the wilderness.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,
+    whose Face nobody ever saw, because it was
+    always covered by his Umbrella.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Visibly Vicious Vulture,
+    who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a
+    Volume bound in Vellum.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,
+    who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a
+    Flute with a Morning Cap.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Excellent Double-extra XX
+    imbibing King Xerxes, who lived a
+    long while ago.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+    whose Head was ever so much bigger than his
+    Body, and whose Hat was rather small.
+
+    [Illustration]
+
+    The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,
+    who carried five Monkeys on his back all
+    the way to Jellibolee.
+
+
+
+
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+LAUGHABLE LYRICS
+
+A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+Author of the _Book of Nonsense_, _More Nonsense_,
+_Nonsense Songs, Stories_, etc., etc.
+
+
+With All the Original Illustrations.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+    LAUGHABLE LYRICS.
+        THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE
+        THE TWO OLD BACHELORS
+        THE PELICAN CHORUS
+        THE YONGHY-BONGHY-Bo
+        THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES
+        THE NEW VESTMENTS
+        MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS
+        THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT
+        THE CUMMERBUND
+        THE AKOND OF SWAT
+
+    NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+      " ALPHABET, No. 5
+      "       "   No. 6
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+LAUGHABLE LYRICS.
+
+
+THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    When awful darkness and silence reign
+    Over the great Gromboolian plain,
+        Through the long, long wintry nights;
+    When the angry breakers roar
+    As they beat on the rocky shore;
+        When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights
+    Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,--
+
+    Then, through the vast and gloomy dark
+    There moves what seems a fiery spark,--
+        A lonely spark with silvery rays
+        Piercing the coal-black night,--
+        A Meteor strange and bright:
+    Hither and thither the vision strays,
+        A single lurid light.
+
+    Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,--
+    Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps;
+    And ever as onward it gleaming goes
+    A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.
+    And those who watch at that midnight hour
+    From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,
+    Cry, as the wild light passes along,--
+       "The Dong! the Dong!
+      The wandering Dong through the forest goes!
+        The Dong! the Dong!
+      The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
+
+        Long years ago
+      The Dong was happy and gay,
+    Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl
+      Who came to those shores one day.
+    For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,--
+    Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd
+        Where the Oblong Oysters grow,
+      And the rocks are smooth and gray.
+    And all the woods and the valleys rang
+    With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,--
+        "_Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
+          Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve._"
+
+    Happily, happily passed those days!
+      While the cheerful Jumblies staid;
+        They danced in circlets all night long,
+        To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,
+      In moonlight, shine, or shade.
+    For day and night he was always there
+    By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,
+    With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair;
+    Till the morning came of that hateful day
+    When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,
+    And the Dong was left on the cruel shore
+    Gazing, gazing for evermore,--
+    Ever keeping his weary eyes on
+    That pea-green sail on the far horizon,--
+    Singing the Jumbly Chorus still
+    As he sate all day on the grassy hill,--
+        "_Far and few, far and few,
+          Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
+          Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
+          And they went to sea in a sieve_."
+
+    But when the sun was low in the West,
+        The Dong arose and said,--
+    "What little sense I once possessed
+        Has quite gone out of my head!"
+    And since that day he wanders still
+    By lake and forest, marsh and hill,
+    Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain,
+    Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!
+    For ever I'll seek by lake and shore
+    Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!"
+
+        Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,
+        Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks;
+        And because by night he could not see,
+        He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree
+          On the flowery plain that grows.
+          And he wove him a wondrous Nose,--
+        A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!
+
+    Of vast proportions and painted red,
+    And tied with cords to the back of his head.
+        In a hollow rounded space it ended
+        With a luminous Lamp within suspended,
+            All fenced about
+            With a bandage stout
+            To prevent the wind from blowing it out;
+        And with holes all round to send the light
+        In gleaming rays on the dismal night
+
+    And now each night, and all night long,
+    Over those plains still roams the Dong;
+    And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe
+    You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,
+    While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,
+    To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;
+    Lonely and wild, all night he goes,--
+    The Dong with a luminous Nose!
+    And all who watch at the midnight hour,
+    From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,
+    Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,
+    Moving along through the dreary night,--
+       "This is the hour when forth he goes,
+        The Dong with a luminous Nose!
+        Yonder, over the plain he goes,--
+            He goes!
+            He goes,--
+        The Dong with a luminous Nose!"
+
+
+
+
+THE TWO OLD BACHELORS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+Two old Bachelors were living in one house;
+One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.
+Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,--
+"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house,
+Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,
+And what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money?
+And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner,
+But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?"
+
+Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,--
+"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'!
+If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;
+But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!"
+
+Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town
+And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down;
+They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found
+In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round.
+
+But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north,
+And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;
+And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,--
+An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page.
+Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all studious as he sits,--
+And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits!
+Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),--
+When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps."
+
+Those two old Bachelors without loss of time
+The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb;
+And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook,
+They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book.
+
+"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in!
+We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!"
+
+But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book,
+At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;
+And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,--
+At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town;
+And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want
+                                                          of Stuffin'),
+The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin.
+
+They left their home in silence by the once convivial door;
+And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more.
+
+
+[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans]
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+THE PELICAN CHORUS.
+
+    King and Queen of the Pelicans we;
+     No other Birds so grand we see!
+    None but we have feet like fins!
+    With lovely leathery throats and chins!
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still
+
+    We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.
+    By night we sleep on the cliffs above;
+    By day we fish, and at eve we stand
+    On long bare islands of yellow sand.
+    And when the sun sinks slowly down,
+    And the great rock walls grow dark and brown,
+
+    Where the purple river rolls fast and dim
+    And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,
+    Wing to wing we dance around,
+    Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound,
+    Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;
+    And this is the song we nightly snort,--
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    Last year came out our Daughter Dell,
+    And all the Birds received her well.
+    To do her honor a feast we made
+    For every bird that can swim or wade,--
+    Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,
+    Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,
+    Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,
+    Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:
+    Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!
+    They ate and drank and danced all night,
+    And echoing back from the rocks you heard
+    Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,--
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    Yes, they came; and among the rest
+    The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.
+    Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float
+    Between the ends of his blue dress-coat;
+    With pea-green trowsers all so neat,
+    And a delicate frill to hide his feet
+    (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows
+    He has got no webs between his toes).
+
+    As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,
+    In violent love that Crane King fell,--
+    On seeing her waddling form so fair,
+    With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair.
+    And before the end of the next long day
+    Our Dell had given her heart away;
+    For the King of the Cranes had won that heart
+    With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.
+    She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,
+    Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;
+    And away they flew in a gathering crowd
+    Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud.
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+    And far away in the twilight sky
+    We heard them singing a lessening cry,--
+    Farther and farther, till out of sight,
+    And we stood alone in the silent night!
+    Often since, in the nights of June,
+    We sit on the sand and watch the moon,--
+
+    She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain,
+    And we probably never shall meet again!
+    Oft, in the long still nights of June,
+    We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,--
+    She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore.
+    And we probably never shall see her more.
+        Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!
+        We think no Birds so happy as we!
+        Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!
+        We think so then, and we thought so still!
+
+[NOTE.--The Air of this and the following Song by Edward Lear; the
+Arrangement for the Piano by Professor Pome, of San Remo, Italy.]
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Yonghy Bonghy Bo]
+
+
+
+THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BO.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    On the Coast of Coromandel
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          In the middle of the woods
+      Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+    Two old chairs, and half a candle,
+    One old jug without a handle,--
+          These were all his worldly goods:
+          In the middle of the woods,
+          These were all the worldly goods
+      Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bo.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    Once, among the Bong-trees walking
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          To a little heap of stones
+      Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+    There he heard a Lady talking,
+    To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,--
+        "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!
+          On that little heap of stones
+          Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+   "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!
+         Sitting where the pumpkins blow,
+           Will you come and be my wife?"
+       Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+   "I am tired of living singly--
+    On this coast so wild and shingly,--
+          I'm a-weary of my life;
+          If you'll come and be my wife,
+          Quite serene would be my life!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    "On this Coast of Coromandel
+         Shrimps and watercresses grow,
+           Prawns are plentiful and cheap,"
+       Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+   "You shall have my chairs and candle,
+    And my jug without a handle!
+          Gaze upon the rolling deep
+         (Fish is plentiful and cheap);
+          As the sea, my love is deep!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    Lady Jingly answered sadly,
+         And her tears began to flow,--
+          "Your proposal comes too late,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+    I would be your wife most gladly!"
+    (Here she twirled her fingers madly,)
+         "But in England I've a mate!
+          Yes! you've asked me far too late,
+          For in England I've a mate,
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+   "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,--
+         Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.)
+           Dorking fowls delights to send,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+    Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle,
+    And your jug without a handle,--
+          I can merely be your friend!
+          Should my Jones more Dorkings send,
+          I will give you three, my friend!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bo!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+
+
+                    VII.
+
+   "Though you've such a tiny body,
+         And your head so large doth grow,--
+           Though your hat may blow away,
+       Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!
+    Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy,
+    Yet I wish that I could modi-
+          fy the words I needs must say!
+          Will you please to go away?
+          That is all I have to say,
+      Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bo!
+      Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!"
+
+
+                    VIII.
+
+    Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle,
+        Where the early pumpkins blow,
+          To the calm and silent sea
+       Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+    There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle,
+    Lay a large and lively Turtle.
+         "You're the Cove," he said, "for me;
+          On your back beyond the sea,
+          Turtle, you shall carry me!"
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+              [Illustration]
+
+
+                    IX.
+
+    Through the silent-roaring ocean
+        Did the Turtle swiftly go;
+          Holding fast upon his shell
+      Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+    With a sad primaeval motion
+    Towards the sunset isles of Boshen
+          Still the Turtle bore him well.
+          Holding fast upon his shell,
+         "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"
+      Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+      Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+
+                    X.
+
+    From the Coast of Coromandel
+        Did that Lady never go;
+          On that heap of stones she mourns
+      For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+    On that Coast of Coromandel,
+    In his jug without a handle
+        Still she weeps, and daily moans;
+        On that little heap of stones
+        To her Dorking Hens she moans,
+          For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+          For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo.
+
+
+
+
+THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes
+        Had once as many as we;
+    When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;"
+        He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!"
+    And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink
+    Lavender water tinged with pink;
+    For she said, "The World in general knows
+    There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!"
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes,
+        Swam across the Bristol Channel;
+    But before he set out he wrapped his nose
+        In a piece of scarlet flannel.
+    For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm
+    Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;
+    And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes
+    Are safe--provided he minds his nose."
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    The Pobble swam fast and well,
+        And when boats or ships came near him,
+    He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell
+        So that all the world could hear him.
+    And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,
+    When they saw him nearing the further side,--
+   "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's
+    Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    But before he touched the shore,--
+        The shore of the Bristol Channel,
+    A sea-green Porpoise carried away
+        His wrapper of scarlet flannel.
+    And when he came to observe his feet,
+    Formerly garnished with toes so neat,
+    His face at once became forlorn
+    On perceiving that all his toes were gone!
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    And nobody ever knew,
+        From that dark day to the present,
+    Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,
+        In a manner so far from pleasant.
+    Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray,
+    Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,
+    Nobody knew; and nobody knows
+    How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes!
+
+
+                    VI.
+
+    The Pobble who has no toes
+        Was placed in a friendly Bark,
+    And they rowed him back, and carried him up
+        To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.
+    And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,
+    Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;
+    And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,
+    That Pobbles are happier without their toes."
+
+
+
+
+THE NEW VESTMENTS.
+
+    There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,
+    Who invented a purely original dress;
+    And when it was perfectly made and complete,
+    He opened the door and walked into the street.
+
+    By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,
+    In the middle of which he inserted his head;
+    His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,
+    The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;
+    His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;
+    His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;
+    His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;
+    His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;
+    His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,
+    And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;
+    And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,
+    A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together.
+
+    He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,
+    Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;
+    And from every long street and dark lane in the town
+    Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.
+    Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;
+    Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;
+    Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,
+    And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;
+    An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his
+    Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;
+    And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,
+    Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.
+    He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,
+    For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:
+    They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;
+    They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;
+    And now from the housetops with screechings descend
+    Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end:
+    They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,
+    When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;
+    They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,
+    And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;
+    They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,--
+    Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all.
+
+    And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,
+   "I will not wear a similar dress any more,
+    Any more, any more, any more, never more!"
+
+
+
+
+MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS.
+
+                    I.
+
+    Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
+        Climbed to the top of a wall.
+      And they sate to watch the sunset sky,
+      And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,
+        And the Biscuit Buffalo call.
+    They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,
+    And both were as happy as happy could be,
+            Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,--
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            It has just come into my head,
+      Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!
+                        Darling Mr. Discobbolos!
+
+
+                    II.
+
+   "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,
+        Just like pieces of stone,
+      On to the thorns, or into the moat,
+      What would become of your new green coat?
+        And might you not break a bone?
+    It never occurred to me before,
+    That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"
+            And Mrs. Discobbolos said,
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            What put it into your head
+      To climb up this wall, my own
+                        Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    Mr. Discobbolos answered,
+       "At first it gave me pain,
+      And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink
+      When your exclamation made me think
+        We might never get down again!
+    But now I believe it is wiser far
+    To remain for ever just where we are."
+            And Mr. Discobbolos said,
+           "Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            It has just come into my head
+      We shall never go down again,
+                        Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos
+        Stood up and began to sing,--
+     "Far away from hurry and strife
+      Here we will pass the rest of life,
+        Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!
+    We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,
+    No tables nor carpets nor household cares;
+            From worry of life we've fled;
+            Oh! W! X! Y! Z!
+            There is no more trouble ahead,
+      Sorrow or any such thing,
+                        For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"
+
+
+
+
+THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+                    I.
+
+    On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
+        The Quangle Wangle sat,
+    But his face you could not see,
+        On account of his Beaver Hat.
+    For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,
+    With ribbons and bibbons on every side,
+    And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,
+    So that nobody ever could see the face
+            Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+    The Quangle Wangle said
+        To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
+    "Jam, and jelly, and bread
+        Are the best of food for me!
+    But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree
+    The plainer than ever it seems to me
+    That very few people come this way
+    And that life on the whole is far from gay!"
+            Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+    But there came to the Crumpetty Tree
+        Mr. and Mrs. Canary;
+    And they said, "Did ever you see
+        Any spot so charmingly airy?
+    May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?
+    Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
+    O please let us come and build a nest
+    Of whatever material suits you best,
+            Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+    And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree
+        Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;
+    The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,
+        The Frog and the Fimble Fowl
+    (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);
+    And all of them said, "We humbly beg
+    We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,--
+    Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!
+       Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"
+
+
+                    V.
+
+    And the Golden Grouse came there,
+        And the Pobble who has no toes,
+    And the small Olympian bear,
+        And the Dong with a luminous nose.
+    And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,
+    And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,
+    And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,--
+    All came and built on the lovely Hat
+      Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+                    VI.
+
+    And the Quangle Wangle said
+        To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,
+    "When all these creatures move
+        What a wonderful noise there'll be!"
+    And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon
+    They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,
+    On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,
+    And all were as happy as happy could be,
+      With the Quangle Wangle Quee.
+
+
+
+
+THE CUMMERBUND.
+An Indian Poem.
+
+                    I.
+
+She sate upon her Dobie,
+    To watch the Evening Star,
+And all the Punkahs, as they passed,
+    Cried, "My! how fair you are!"
+Around her bower, with quivering leaves,
+    The tall Kamsamahs grew,
+And Kitmutgars in wild festoons
+    Hung down from Tchokis blue.
+
+
+                    II.
+
+Below her home the river rolled
+    With soft meloobious sound,
+Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam,
+    In myriads circling round.
+Above, on tallest trees remote
+    Green Ayahs perched alone,
+And all night long the Mussak moan'd
+    Its melancholy tone.
+
+
+                    III.
+
+And where the purple Nullahs threw
+    Their branches far and wide,
+And silvery Goreewallahs flew
+    In silence, side by side,
+The little Bheesties' twittering cry
+    Rose on the flagrant air,
+And oft the angry Jampan howled
+    Deep in his hateful lair.
+
+
+                    IV.
+
+She sate upon her Dobie,
+    She heard the Nimmak hum,
+When all at once a cry arose,
+    "The Cummerbund is come!"
+In vain she fled: with open jaws
+    The angry monster followed,
+And so (before assistance came)
+    That Lady Fair was swollowed.
+
+
+                    V.
+
+They sought in vain for even a bone
+    Respectfully to bury;
+They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!"
+    (And Echo answered, "Very.")
+They nailed her Dobie to the wall,
+    Where last her form was seen,
+And underneath they wrote these words,
+    In yellow, blue, and green:
+"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware!
+    Nor sit out late at night,
+Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come,
+    And swollow you outright."
+
+
+NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874.
+
+
+
+
+THE AKOND OF SWAT.
+
+
+    Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT?
+    Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?
+    Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,             or SQUAT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
+    Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,             or HOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,
+    And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,          or TROT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?
+    Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,          or a COT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
+    Does he cross his T's and finish his I's              with a DOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Can he write a letter concisely clear
+    Without a speck or a smudge or smear                    or BLOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Do his people like him extremely well?
+    Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,                   or PLOT,
+                                                    At the Akond of Swat?
+
+    If he catches them then, either old or young,
+    Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,            or _shot_,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Do his people prig in the lanes or park?
+    Or even at times, when days are dark,                   GAROTTE?
+                                                     O the Akond of Swat!
+
+    Does he study the wants of his own dominion?
+    Or doesn't he care for public opinion                    a JOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    To amuse his mind do his people show him
+    Pictures, or any one's last new poem,                    or WHAT,
+                                                   For the Akond of Swat?
+
+    At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,
+    Do they bring him only a few small cakes,               or a LOT,
+                                                   For the Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?
+    Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,      or a DOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like to lie on his back in a boat
+    Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,            SHALLOTT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?
+    Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,           or a SCOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?
+    Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,            or a GROTT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
+    Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?              or a POT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,
+    When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,            or ROT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,
+    And tie it neat in a bow with ends,                    or a KNOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
+    When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,          or NOT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
+    Does he sail about on an inland lake,                  in a YACHT,
+                                                       The Akond of Swat?
+
+    Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
+    Who or which or why or what
+                                                    Is the Akond of Swat!
+
+
+NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_.
+The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the
+monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus.
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis.]
+
+[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia.]
+
+[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.]
+
+[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida.]
+
+[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica.]
+
+[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice.]
+
+[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum.]
+
+[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa.]
+
+[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyoeides.]
+
+       *        *        *        *        *
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE ALPHABETS.
+
+
+                     A
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    A was an Area Arch
+        Where washerwomen sat;
+    They made a lot of lovely starch
+        To starch Papa's Cravat.
+
+
+                     B
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    B was a Bottle blue,
+        Which was not very small;
+    Papa he filled it full of beer,
+        And then he drank it all.
+
+
+                     C
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    C was Papa's gray Cat,
+        Who caught a squeaky Mouse;
+    She pulled him by his twirly tail
+        All about the house.
+
+
+                     D
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    D was Papa's white Duck,
+        Who had a curly tail;
+    One day it ate a great fat frog,
+        Besides a leetle snail.
+
+
+                     E
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    E was a little Egg,
+        Upon the breakfast table;
+    Papa came in and ate it up
+        As fast as he was able.
+
+
+                     F
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    F was a little Fish.
+        Cook in the river took it
+    Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!
+        And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"
+
+
+                     G
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    G was Papa's new Gun;
+        He put it in a box;
+    And then he went and bought a bun,
+        And walked about the Docks.
+
+
+                     H
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    H was Papa's new Hat;
+        He wore it on his head;
+    Outside it was completely black,
+        But inside it was red.
+
+
+                     I
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    I was an Inkstand new,
+        Papa he likes to use it;
+    He keeps it in his pocket now,
+        For fear that he should lose it.
+
+
+                     J
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    J was some Apple Jam,
+        Of which Papa ate part;
+    But all the rest he took away
+        And stuffed into a tart.
+
+
+                     K
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    K was a great new Kite;
+        Papa he saw it fly
+    Above a thousand chimney pots,
+        And all about the sky.
+
+
+                     L
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    L was a fine new Lamp;
+        But when the wick was lit,
+    Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!
+        I cannot read a bit!"
+
+
+                     M
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    M was a dish of mince;
+        It looked so good to eat!
+    Papa, he quickly ate it up,
+        And said, "This is a treat!"
+
+
+                     N
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    N was a Nut that grew
+        High up upon a tree;
+    Papa, who could not reach it, said,
+        "That's _much_ too high for me!"
+
+
+                     O
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    O was an Owl who flew
+        All in the dark away,
+    Papa said, "What an owl you are!
+        Why don't you fly by day?"
+
+                     P
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    P was a little Pig,
+        Went out to take a walk;
+    Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,
+        He'd all turn into Pork!"
+
+
+                     Q
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Q was a Quince that hung
+        Upon a garden tree;
+    Papa he brought it with him home,
+        And ate it with his tea.
+
+
+                     R
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    R was a Railway Rug
+        Extremely large and warm;
+    Papa he wrapped it round his head,
+        In a most dreadful storm.
+
+
+                     S
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    S was Papa's new Stick,
+        Papa's new thumping Stick,
+    To thump extremely wicked boys,
+        Because it was so thick.
+
+
+                     T
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    T was a tumbler full
+        Of Punch all hot and good;
+    Papa he drank it up, when in
+        The middle of a wood.
+
+
+                     U
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    U was a silver urn,
+        Full of hot scalding water;
+    Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,
+        I'd give it to my daughter!"
+
+
+                     V
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    V was a Villain; once
+        He stole a piece of beef.
+    Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!
+        That Villain is a Thief!"
+
+
+                     W
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    W was a Watch of Gold:
+        It told the time of day,
+    So that Papa knew when to come,
+        And when to go away.
+
+
+                     X
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    X was King Xerxes, whom
+        Papa much wished to know;
+    But this he could not do, because
+        Xerxes died long ago.
+
+
+                     Y
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Y was a Youth, who kicked
+        And screamed and cried like mad;
+    Papa he said, "Your conduct is
+        Abominably bad!"
+
+
+                     Z
+
+               [Illustration]
+
+    Z was a Zebra striped
+        And streaked with lines of black;
+    Papa said once, he thought he'd like
+        A ride upon his back.
+
+
+
+
+ALPHABET, No. 6.
+
+    A tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood,
+
+    B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!"
+
+    C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm."
+
+    D said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm."
+
+    E said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well."
+
+    F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell."
+
+    G said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold."
+
+    H said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold."
+
+    I said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon."
+
+    J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!"
+
+    K said, "A Kangaroo is here,--this picture let him see."
+
+    L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea."
+
+    M said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction."
+
+    N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction."
+
+    O said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink."
+
+    P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think."
+
+    Q said, "A Quince I recommend,--a Quince, or else a Quail."
+
+    R said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail."
+
+    S said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!"
+
+    T said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!"
+
+    U said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!"
+
+    V said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!"
+
+    W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!"
+
+    X said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!"
+
+    Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!"
+
+    Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!
+             We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little
+                 master!
+             We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad
+                 disaster!"
+
+
+
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