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diff --git a/13649-h/13649-h.htm b/13649-h/13649-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a9a1e3c --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/13649-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2565 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Laughable Lyrics, by Edward Lear</title> +<style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[*/ +<!-- + body {font-family: Times, serif; margin-top:2px; margin-bottom:200px; margin-left: 3%; margin-right: 3%;} + p {margin-top: 2px;} + hr {color: #999999; border-style: solid} + ul {list-style-type: square;} + li {} + + h1 {text-align: center; margin-top:2px; margin-bottom:2px;} + h2 {text-align: center; margin-top:2px; margin-bottom:2px;} + h3 {text-align: center; margin-top:15px; margin-bottom:30px;} + h4 {text-align: center;} + +.book {} +.subbook {} +.chapter {} +.index {} + +.centeredimage {display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} +.smaller {font-size: 0.8em;} +.bigger {font-size: 1.3em;} +.largeletter {font-size: 5em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:0} +.smallletter {font-size: 2em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:0} +.alphaimage {display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top:20px; margin-bottom: 20px;} +.largecap {font-size: 1.3em;} + +.chapternumber {text-align: center; margin-top: 50px; margin-bottom:5px; font-weight: bold;} +.chapterdescription {text-align: center; font-size:0.8em;} +.versenumber {font-weight: bold;} +.learstrip {background-image: url(images/learstrip.gif); height: 30px;} + +.rhymemenu {padding-top:10px; font-size: 0.8em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0.5em;border-top: solid 1px #333333;} +.subbookmenu {padding-top:10px; font-size: 0.9em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0.5em; border-top: solid 1px #333333;} +.alphabetmenu {text-align: center;} + +.thecover {} +.tableofcontents {} +.note {font-size: 0.8em;} +.story {} +.rhyme {display: block; text-align: left; margin-bottom:20px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} +.longpoem {width: 60%; display: block; margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto; margin-bottom:20px; text-align:left;} + .longpoem h3 {text-align: left} +.recipe {margin-right: 10%; margin-left:10%;} + +.botanygrid {text-align: center;} +.rhymegrid {} +.rhymegrid img {margin-bottom:5px;} +.alphagrid {text-align: center;} + +.i1 {display: block; margin-left: 2%;} +.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 4%;} +.i3 {display: block; margin-left: 6%;} +.i4 {display: block; margin-left: 8%;} +.i5 {display: block; margin-left: 10%;} +.i6 {display: block; margin-left: 12%;} +.i7 {display: block; margin-left: 14%;} +.i8 {display: block; margin-left: 16%;} +.i9 {display: block; margin-left: 18%;} +.i10 {display: block; margin-left: 20%;} +.i11 {display: block; margin-left: 22%;} +.i12 {display: block; margin-left: 24%;} +.i13 {display: block; margin-left: 26%;} +.i14 {display: block; margin-left: 28%;} +.i15 {display: block; margin-left: 30%;} +.i16 {display: block; margin-left: 32%;} +.i17 {display: block; margin-left: 34%;} +.i18 {display: block; margin-left: 36%;} +.i19 {display: block; margin-left: 38%;} +.i20 {display: block; margin-left: 40%;} +.i21 {display: block; margin-left: 42%;} +.i22 {display: block; margin-left: 44%;} +.i23 {display: block; margin-left: 46%;} +.i24 {display: block; margin-left: 48%;} +.i25 {display: block; margin-left: 50%;} +.i26 {display: block; margin-left: 52%;} + hr.pg { width: 100%; + color: #000000; + border-style: solid; } + a:link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:visited {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:hover {color:red} + pre {font-size: 8pt;} + --> + /*]]>*/ +</style> +</head> +<body> +<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, Laughable Lyrics, by Edward Lear</h1> +<pre> +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: Laughable Lyrics</p> +<p>Author: Edward Lear</p> +<p>Release Date: October 8, 2004 [eBook #13649]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS***</p> +<br /><br /><h3>E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney,<br /> + A. Deubelbeiss, Stan Goodman,<br /> + and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders</h3><br /><br /> +<div class="book" id="book4"> + <hr /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip"> + <tr> + <td height="30"> + + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <hr /> + <div class="thecover" id="cover4"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page338" id="page338" title="338"></a> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="10" border="0" width="100%"> + <tr> + <td align="center" width="50%"> + <h1><span class="bigger">Laughable Lyrics:</span><br /> + A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc. + </h1> + <h2>by<br /> + Edward Lear,</h2> + <blockquote class="smaller"><i>Author of the 'Book of Nonsense' 'More Nonsense' 'Nonsense + Songs, Stories,' etc., etc.</i> + <img src="images/411.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" /> + </blockquote> + <p align="center">With all the Original Illustrations.</p> + + <h4>1894</h4> + <p align="center">Originally published 1877</p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page339" id="page339" title="339"></a> + </td> + <td align="left"> + <p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book4.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" /></a><br /> + <b>Original Cover</b><br />Click for larger version. + </p> + <ul class="tableofcontents" id="book4contents"> + <li><a href="#laughable"><b>Laughable Lyrics.</b></a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#dong">The Dong With A Luminous Nose</a></li> + <li><a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a></li> + <li><a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#pelicanmusic">sheet music</a></li> + <li><a href="music/pelican.pdf">.pdf</a> / <a href="music/pelican.midi">.midi</a> / <a href="music/pelican.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span></li> + </ul> + </li> + <li><a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò</a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#bomusic">sheet music</a></li> + <li><a href="music/yonghy.pdf">.pdf</a> / <a href="music/yonghy.midi">.midi</a> / <a href="music/yonghy.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span></li> + </ul> + </li> + <li><a href="#pobble">The Pobble Who Has No Toes</a></li> + <li><a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a></li> + <li><a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a></li> + <li><a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a></li> + <li><a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a></li> + <li><a href="#akond">The Akond Of Swat</a></li> + </ul> + </li> + <li><a href="#botany3"><b>Nonsense Botany</b></a></li> + <li><a href="#alphabets2"><b>Nonsense Alphabets</b></a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a></li> + <li><a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a></li> + </ul> + </li> + </ul> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page340" id="page340" title="340"></a> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page341" id="page341" title="341"></a> + <hr /> + <div class="subbook" id="laughable"> + <h2>LAUGHABLE LYRICS.</h2> + <p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#dong">The Dong with a Luminous Nose</a> <a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a> <a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a> <a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò</a> <a href="#pobble">The Pobble who has no Toes</a> <a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a> <a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a> <a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a> <a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a> <a href="#akond">The Akond of Swat</a> + </p> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="dong"> + <img src="images/405.gif" alt="The Dong with a Luminous Nose" /> + <h3>THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.</h3> + <p> + <span class="largecap">W</span>hen awful darkness and silence reign<br /> + Over the great Gromboolian plain,<br /> + <span class="i2">Through the long, long wintry nights;</span> + When the angry breakers roar<br /> + As they beat on the rocky shore;<br /> + <span class="i2">When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights</span> + Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,— + </p> + <p> + Then, through the vast and gloomy dark<br /> + There moves what seems a fiery spark,—<br /> + <span class="i2">A lonely spark with silvery rays</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page342" id="page342" title="342"></a> + <span class="i4">Piercing the coal-black night,—</span> + <span class="i4">A Meteor strange and bright:</span> + <span class="i2">Hither and thither the vision strays,</span> + <span class="i4">A single lurid light.</span> + </p> + <p> + Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,—<br /> + Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps;<br /> + And ever as onward it gleaming goes<br /> + A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.<br /> + And those who watch at that midnight hour<br /> + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,<br /> + Cry, as the wild light passes along,—<br /> + <span class="i4">"The Dong! the Dong!</span> + <span class="i2">The wandering Dong through the forest goes!</span> + <span class="i4">The Dong! the Dong!</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!"</span> + </p> + <p> + <span class="i4">Long years ago</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong was happy and gay,</span> + Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl<br /> + <span class="i2">Who came to those shores one day.</span> + For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,—<br /> + Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd<br /> + <span class="i4">Where the Oblong Oysters grow,</span> + <span class="i2">And the rocks are smooth and gray.</span> + And all the woods and the valleys rang<br /> + With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,—<br /> + <i><span class="i6">"Far and few, far and few,</span> + <span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live;</span> + <span class="i6">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span> + <span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve."</span></i> + </p> + <p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page343" id="page343" title="343"></a> + Happily, happily passed those days!<br /> + <span class="i8">While the cheerful Jumblies staid;</span> + <span class="i4">They danced in circlets all night long,</span> + <span class="i4">To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,</span> + <span class="i8">In moonlight, shine, or shade.</span> + For day and night he was always there<br /> + By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,<br /> + With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair;<br /> + Till the morning came of that hateful day<br /> + When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,<br /> + And the Dong was left on the cruel shore<br /> + Gazing, gazing for evermore,—<br /> + Ever keeping his weary eyes on<br /> + That pea-green sail on the far horizon,—<br /> + Singing the Jumbly Chorus still<br /> + As he sate all day on the grassy hill,—<br /> + <i><span class="i10">"Far and few, far and few,</span> + <span class="i10">Are the lands where the Jumblies live;</span> + <span class="i10">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span> + <span class="i10">And they went to sea in a sieve."</span></i> + </p> + <p> + But when the sun was low in the West,<br /> + <span class="i4">The Dong arose and said,—</span> + —"What little sense I once possessed<br /> + <span class="i4">Has quite gone out of my head!"</span> + And since that day he wanders still<br /> + By lake and forest, marsh and hill,<br /> + Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain,<br /> + Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!<br /> + For ever I'll seek by lake and shore<br /> + Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!" + <a class="pagenumber" name="page344" id="page344" title="344"></a> + </p> + <p> + <span class="i2">Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,</span> + <span class="i2">Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks;</span> + <span class="i2">And because by night he could not see,</span> + <span class="i2">He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree</span> + <span class="i4">On the flowery plain that grows.</span> + <span class="i4">And he wove him a wondrous Nose,—</span> + <span class="i2">A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!</span> + Of vast proportions and painted red,<br /> + And tied with cords to the back of his head.<br /> + <span class="i2">—In a hollow rounded space it ended</span> + <span class="i2">With a luminous Lamp within suspended,</span> + <span class="i4">All fenced about</span> + <span class="i4">With a bandage stout</span> + <span class="i4">To prevent the wind from blowing it out;</span> + <span class="i2">And with holes all round to send the light</span> + <span class="i2">In gleaming rays on the dismal night</span> + </p> + <p> + And now each night, and all night long,<br /> + Over those plains still roams the Dong;<br /> + And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe<br /> + You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,<br /> + While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,<br /> + To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;<br /> + Lonely and wild, all night he goes,—<br /> + The Dong with a luminous Nose!<br /> + And all who watch at the midnight hour,<br /> + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,<br /> + Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,<br /> + Moving along through the dreary night,—<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page345" id="page345" title="345"></a> + <span class="i2">"This is the hour when forth he goes,</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!</span> + <span class="i2">Yonder, over the plain he goes,—</span> + <span class="i4">He goes!</span> + <span class="i4">He goes,—</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!"</span> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="bachelors"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page346" id="page346" title="346"></a> + <img src="images/406.gif" alt="The Two Old Bachelors." /> + <h3> + THE TWO OLD BACHELORS. + </h3> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>wo old Bachelors were living in one house;<br /> + One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.<br /> + Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,—<br /> + "This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house,<br /> + Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,<br /> + And what to do for dinner—since we haven't any money?<br /> + And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner,<br /> + But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?" + </p> + <p> + Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,—<br /> + "We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'!<br /> + If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;<br /> + But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!" + </p> + <p> + Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town<br /> + And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down;<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page347" id="page347" title="347"></a> + They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found<br /> + In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round. + </p> + <p> + But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north,<br /> + And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;<br /> + And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,—<br /> + An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page.<br /> + Climb up, and seize him by the toes,—all studious as he sits,—<br /> + And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits!<br /> + Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),—<br /> + When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good—perhaps." + </p> + <p> + Those two old Bachelors without loss of time<br /> + The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb;<br /> + And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook,<br /> + They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book. + </p> + <p> + "You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in!<br /> + We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!" + </p> + <p> + But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book,<br /> + At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;<br /> + And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,—<br /> + At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town;<br /> + And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want of Stuffin'),<br /> + The Mouse had fled—and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin. + </p> + <p> + They left their home in silence by the once convivial door;<br /> + And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more. + <a class="pagenumber" name="page348" id="page348" title="348"></a> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="pelican"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page349" id="page349" title="349"></a> + <h3> + THE PELICAN CHORUS. + </h3> + <img src="images/408.gif" alt="The Pelican Chorus" /> + <p> + <span class="largecap">K</span>ing and Queen of the Pelicans we;<br /> + No other Birds so grand we see!<br /> + None but we have feet like fins!<br /> + With lovely leathery throats and chins!<br /> + <span class="i2">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i2">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i2">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!</span> + <span class="i2">We think so then, and we thought so still</span> + </p> + <p> + We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.<br /> + By night we sleep on the cliffs above;<br /> + By day we fish, and at eve we stand<br /> + On long bare islands of yellow sand.<br /> + And when the sun sinks slowly down,<br /> + And the great rock walls grow dark and brown,<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page350" id="page350" title="350"></a> + Where the purple river rolls fast and dim<br /> + And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,<br /> + Wing to wing we dance around,<br /> + Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound,<br /> + Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;<br /> + And this is the song we nightly snort,—<br /> + <span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + Last year came out our Daughter Dell,<br /> + And all the Birds received her well.<br /> + To do her honor a feast we made<br /> + For every bird that can swim or wade,—<br /> + Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,<br /> + Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,<br /> + Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,<br /> + Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:<br /> + Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!<br /> + They ate and drank and danced all night,<br /> + And echoing back from the rocks you heard<br /> + Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,—<br /> + <span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + Yes, they came; and among the rest<br /> + The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page351" id="page351" title="351"></a> + Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float<br /> + Between the ends of his blue dress-coat;<br /> + With pea-green trowsers all so neat,<br /> + And a delicate frill to hide his feet<br /> + (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows<br /> + He has got no webs between his toes).<br /> + </p> + <p> + As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,<br /> + In violent love that Crane King fell,—<br /> + On seeing her waddling form so fair,<br /> + With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair.<br /> + And before the end of the next long day<br /> + Our Dell had given her heart away;<br /> + For the King of the Cranes had won that heart<br /> + With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.<br /> + She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,<br /> + Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;<br /> + And away they flew in a gathering crowd<br /> + Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud.<br /> + <span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + And far away in the twilight sky<br /> + We heard them singing a lessening cry,—<br /> + Farther and farther, till out of sight,<br /> + And we stood alone in the silent night!<br /> + Often since, in the nights of June,<br /> + We sit on the sand and watch the moon,—<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page352" id="page352" title="352"></a> + She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain,<br /> + And we probably never shall meet again!<br /> + Oft, in the long still nights of June,<br /> + We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,—<br /> + She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore.<br /> + And we probably never shall see her more.<br /> + <span class="i2">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i2">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i2">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i2">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + <img src="images/407.gif" alt="'Sheet Music: The Pelicans" id="pelicanmusic" /><br /> + 2004: also available as <a href="music/pelican.pdf">.pdf</a>, <a href="music/pelican.midi">.midi</a>, or <a href="music/pelican.ly">Lilypond markup</a> + </p> + <p class="smaller"><b>NOTE.—</b>The Air of this and the following Song by Edward Lear; the + Arrangement for the Piano by Professor Pomè, of San Remo, Italy. + <a class="pagenumber" name="page353" id="page353" title="353"></a></p> + </div> + + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="bo"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page354" id="page354" title="354"></a> + <img src="images/410.gif" alt="The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo" /> + <h3> + THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BÒ. + </h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">O</span>n the Coast of Coromandel<br /> + <span class="i4">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i6">In the middle of the woods</span> + <span class="i2">Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + Two old chairs, and half a candle,<br /> + One old jug without a handle,—<br /> + <span class="i4">These were all his worldly goods:</span> + <span class="i4">In the middle of the woods,</span> + <span class="i4">These were all the worldly goods</span> + <span class="i2">Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bò.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page355" id="page355" title="355"></a> + </p> + <p class="versenumber"> II.</p> + <p> + Once, among the Bong-trees walking<br /> + <span class="i2">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i4">To a little heap of stones</span> + <span class="i2">Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + There he heard a Lady talking,<br /> + To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,—<br /> + <span class="i6">"'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!</span> + <span class="i6">On that little heap of stones</span> + <span class="i6">Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"</span> + <span class="i4">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i4">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!<br /> + <span class="i2">Sitting where the pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i4">Will you come and be my wife?"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + "I am tired of living singly"—<br /> + On this coast so wild and shingly,—<br /> + <span class="i4">I'm a-weary of my life;</span> + <span class="i4">If you'll come and be my wife,</span> + <span class="i4">Quite serene would be my life!"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + "On this Coast of Coromandel<br /> + <span class="i2">Shrimps and watercresses grow,</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page356" id="page356" title="356"></a> + <span class="i4">Prawns are plentiful and cheap,"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + "You shall have my chairs and candle,<br /> + And my jug without a handle!<br /> + <span class="i4">Gaze upon the rolling deep</span> + <span class="i4">(Fish is plentiful and cheap);</span> + <span class="i4">As the sea, my love is deep!"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + Lady Jingly answered sadly,<br /> + <span class="i2">And her tears began to flow,—</span> + <span class="i4">"Your proposal comes too late,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + I would be your wife most gladly!"<br /> + (Here she twirled her fingers madly,)<br /> + <span class="i4">"But in England I've a mate!</span> + <span class="i4">Yes! you've asked me far too late,</span> + <span class="i4">For in England I've a mate,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VI.</p> + <p> + "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,—<br /> + <span class="i2">Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.)</span> + <span class="i4">Dorking fowls delights to send,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle,<br /> + And your jug without a handle,—<br /> + <span class="i4">I can merely be your friend!</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page357" id="page357" title="357"></a> + <span class="i4">Should my Jones more Dorkings send,</span> + <span class="i4">I will give you three, my friend!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bò!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VII.</p> + <p> + "Though you've such a tiny body,<br /> + <span class="i2">And your head so large doth grow,—</span> + <span class="i4">Though your hat may blow away,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy,<br /> + Yet I wish that I could modi-<br /> + <span class="i4">fy the words I needs must say!</span> + <span class="i4">Will you please to go away?</span> + <span class="i4">That is all I have to say,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber"><br /> + VIII.<br /> + </p> + <p> + Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle,<br /> + <span class="i2">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i4">To the calm and silent sea</span> + <span class="i2">Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle,<br /> + Lay a large and lively Turtle.<br /> + <span class="i4">"You're the Cove," he said, "for me;</span> + <span class="i4">On your back beyond the sea,</span> + <span class="i4">Turtle, you shall carry me!"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page358" id="page358" title="358"></a> + <img src="images/411.gif" alt="The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo" /><br /> + <p class="versenumber">IX.</p> + <p> + Through the silent-roaring ocean<br /> + <span class="i2">Did the Turtle swiftly go;</span> + <span class="i4">Holding fast upon his shell</span> + <span class="i2">Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + With a sad primaeval motion<br /> + Towards the sunset isles of Boshen<br /> + <span class="i4">Still the Turtle bore him well.</span> + <span class="i4">Holding fast upon his shell,</span> + <span class="i4">"Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"</span> + <span class="i2">Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">X.</p> + <p> + From the Coast of Coromandel<br /> + <span class="i2">Did that Lady never go;</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page359" id="page359" title="359"></a> + <span class="i4">On that heap of stones she mourns</span> + <span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + On that Coast of Coromandel,<br /> + In his jug without a handle<br /> + <span class="i4">Still she weeps, and daily moans;</span> + <span class="i4">On that little heap of stones</span> + <span class="i4">To her Dorking Hens she moans,</span> + <span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page360" id="page360" title="360"></a> + </p> + <img src="images/409.gif" alt="Sheet Music: The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò" id="bomusic" /><br /> + Also available as <a href="music/yonghy.pdf">.pdf</a>, <a href="music/yonghy.midi">.midi</a>, or <a href="music/yonghy.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span> + </div> + <div class="longpoem" id="pobble"> + + <hr /> + + <img src="images/412.gif" alt="The Pobble who has no Toes" /> + <h3> + THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES. + </h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>he Pobble who has no toes<br /> + <span class="i2">Had once as many as we;</span> + When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;"<br /> + <span class="i2">He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!"</span> + And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink<br /> + Lavender water tinged with pink;<br /> + For she said, "The World in general knows<br /> + There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!" + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>he Pobble who has no toes,<br /> + <span class="i2">Swam across the Bristol Channel;</span> + But before he set out he wrapped his nose<br /> + <span class="i2">In a piece of scarlet flannel.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page361" id="page361" title="361"></a> + For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm<br /> + Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;<br /> + And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes<br /> + Are safe—provided he minds his nose." + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + The Pobble swam fast and well,<br /> + <span class="i2">And when boats or ships came near him,</span> + He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell<br /> + <span class="i2">So that all the world could hear him.</span> + And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,<br /> + When they saw him nearing the further side,—<br /> + "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's<br /> + Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!" + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + But before he touched the shore,—<br /> + <span class="i2">The shore of the Bristol Channel,</span> + A sea-green Porpoise carried away<br /> + <span class="i2">His wrapper of scarlet flannel.</span> + And when he came to observe his feet,<br /> + Formerly garnished with toes so neat,<br /> + His face at once became forlorn<br /> + On perceiving that all his toes were gone! + </p> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + And nobody ever knew,<br /> + <span class="i2">From that dark day to the present,</span> + Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,<br /> + <span class="i2">In a manner so far from pleasant.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page362" id="page362" title="362"></a> + Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray,<br /> + Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,<br /> + Nobody knew; and nobody knows<br /> + How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes! + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VI.</p> + <p> + The Pobble who has no toes<br /> + <span class="i2">Was placed in a friendly Bark,</span> + And they rowed him back, and carried him up<br /> + <span class="i2">To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.</span> + And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,<br /> + Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;<br /> + And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,<br /> + That Pobbles are happier without their toes."<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page363" id="page363" title="363"></a> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="vestments"> + <h3> + THE NEW VESTMENTS. + </h3> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>here lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,<br /> + Who invented a purely original dress;<br /> + And when it was perfectly made and complete,<br /> + He opened the door and walked into the street. + </p> + <p> + By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,<br /> + In the middle of which he inserted his head;<br /> + His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,<br /> + The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;<br /> + His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;<br /> + His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;<br /> + His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;<br /> + His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;<br /> + His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,<br /> + And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;<br /> + And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,<br /> + A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together. + </p> + <p> + He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,<br /> + Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;<br /> + And from every long street and dark lane in the town<br /> + Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.<br /> + Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;<br /> + Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page364" id="page364" title="364"></a> + Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,<br /> + And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;<br /> + An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore <i>up</i> his<br /> + Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;<br /> + And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,<br /> + Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.<br /> + He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,<br /> + For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:<br /> + They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;<br /> + They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;<br /> + And now from the housetops with screechings descend<br /> + Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end:<br /> + They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,<br /> + When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;<br /> + They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,<br /> + And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;<br /> + They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,—<br /> + Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all. + </p> + <p> + And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,<br /> + "I will not wear a similar dress any more,<br /> + Any more, any more, any more, never more!" + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="discobbolos"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page365" id="page365" title="365"></a> + <h3> + MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS. + </h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">M</span>r. and Mrs. Discobbolos + <span class="i4">Climbed to the top of a wall.</span> + <span class="i2">And they sate to watch the sunset sky,</span> + <span class="i2">And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,</span> + <span class="i4">And the Biscuit Buffalo call.</span> + They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,<br /> + And both were as happy as happy could be,<br /> + <span class="i8">Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,—</span> + <span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <span class="i8">It has just come into my head,</span> + <span class="i4">Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!</span> + <span class="i16">Darling Mr. Discobbolos!</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,<br /> + <span class="i4">Just like pieces of stone,</span> + <span class="i2">On to the thorns, or into the moat,</span> + <span class="i2">What would become of your new green coat?</span> + <span class="i4">And might you not break a bone?</span> + It never occurred to me before,<br /> + That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"<br /> + <span class="i8">And Mrs. Discobbolos said,</span> + <span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page366" id="page366" title="366"></a> + <span class="i8">What put it into your head</span> + <span class="i4">To climb up this wall, my own</span> + <span class="i16">Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber"> III.</p> + <p> + Mr. Discobbolos answered,<br /> + <span class="i4">"At first it gave me pain,</span> + <span class="i2">And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink</span> + <span class="i2">When your exclamation made me think</span> + <span class="i4">We might never get down again!</span> + But now I believe it is wiser far<br /> + To remain for ever just where we are."<br /> + <span class="i8">And Mr. Discobbolos said,</span> + <span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <span class="i8">It has just come into my head</span> + <span class="i4">We shall never go down again,</span> + <span class="i16">Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos<br /> + <span class="i4">Stood up and began to sing,—</span> + <span class="i2">"Far away from hurry and strife</span> + <span class="i2">Here we will pass the rest of life,</span> + <span class="i4">Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!</span> + We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,<br /> + No tables nor carpets nor household cares;<br /> + <span class="i8">From worry of life we've fled;</span> + <span class="i8">Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <span class="i8">There is no more trouble ahead,</span> + <span class="i4">Sorrow or any such thing,</span> + <span class="i16">For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page367" id="page367" title="367"></a> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="quangle"> + <img src="images/413.gif" alt="The Quangle Wangle's Hat" /> + <h3>THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.</h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">O</span>n the top of the Crumpetty Tree<br /> + <span class="i2">The Quangle Wangle sat,</span> + But his face you could not see,<br /> + <span class="i2">On account of his Beaver Hat.</span> + For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,<br /> + With ribbons and bibbons on every side,<br /> + And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,<br /> + So that nobody ever could see the face<br /> + <span class="i6">Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + The Quangle Wangle said<br /> + <span class="i2">To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page368" id="page368" title="368"></a> + "Jam, and jelly, and bread<br /> + <span class="i2">Are the best of food for me!</span> + But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree<br /> + The plainer than ever it seems to me<br /> + That very few people come this way<br /> + And that life on the whole is far from gay!"<br /> + <span class="i6">Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + But there came to the Crumpetty Tree<br /> + <span class="i2">Mr. and Mrs. Canary;</span> + And they said, "Did ever you see<br /> + <span class="i2">Any spot so charmingly airy?</span> + May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?<br /> + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!<br /> + O please let us come and build a nest<br /> + Of whatever material suits you best,<br /> + <span class="i6">Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree<br /> + <span class="i2">Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;</span> + The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,<br /> + <span class="i2">The Frog and the Fimble Fowl</span> + (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);<br /> + And all of them said, "We humbly beg<br /> + We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,—<br /> + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!<br /> + <span class="i6">Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"</span> + </p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page369" id="page369" title="369"></a> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + And the Golden Grouse came there,<br /> + <span class="i2">And the Pobble who has no toes,</span> + And the small Olympian bear,<br /> + <span class="i2">And the Dong with a luminous nose.</span> + And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,<br /> + And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,<br /> + And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,—<br /> + All came and built on the lovely Hat<br /> + <span class="i6">Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VI.</p> + <p> + And the Quangle Wangle said<br /> + <span class="i2">To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,</span> + "When all these creatures move<br /> + <span class="i2">What a wonderful noise there'll be!"</span> + And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon<br /> + They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,<br /> + On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,<br /> + And all were as happy as happy could be,<br /> + <span class="i6">With the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page370" id="page370" title="370"></a> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="cummerbund"> + <h3>THE CUMMERBUND.<br /><span class="chapterdescription">An Indian Poem.</span></h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">S</span>he sate upon her Dobie, + <span class="i2">To watch the Evening Star,</span> + And all the Punkahs, as they passed, + <span class="i2">Cried, "My! how fair you are!"</span> + Around her bower, with quivering leaves, + <span class="i2">The tall Kamsamahs grew,</span> + And Kitmutgars in wild festoons + <span class="i2">Hung down from Tchokis blue.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + Below her home the river rolled + <span class="i2">With soft meloobious sound,</span> + Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam, + <span class="i2">In myriads circling round.</span> + Above, on tallest trees remote + <span class="i2">Green Ayahs perched alone,</span> + And all night long the Mussak moan'd + <span class="i2">Its melancholy tone.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + And where the purple Nullahs threw + <span class="i2">Their branches far and wide,</span> + </p> + <p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page371" id="page371" title="371"></a> + And silvery Goreewallahs flew + <span class="i2">In silence, side by side,</span> + The little Bheesties' twittering cry + <span class="i2">Rose on the flagrant air,</span> + And oft the angry Jampan howled + <span class="i2">Deep in his hateful lair.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + She sate upon her Dobie, + <span class="i2">She heard the Nimmak hum,</span> + When all at once a cry arose, + <span class="i2">"The Cummerbund is come!"</span> + In vain she fled: with open jaws + <span class="i2">The angry monster followed,</span> + And so (before assistance came) + <span class="i2">That Lady Fair was swollowed.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + They sought in vain for even a bone + <span class="i2">Respectfully to bury;</span> + They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!" + <span class="i2">(And Echo answered, "Very.")</span> + They nailed her Dobie to the wall, + <span class="i2">Where last her form was seen,</span> + And underneath they wrote these words, + <span class="i2">In yellow, blue, and green:</span> + </p> + <p> + "Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware! + <span class="i2">Nor sit out late at night,</span> + Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come, + <span class="i2">And swollow you outright."</span> + </p> + <p class="smaller"> + <b>NOTE.—</b>First published in <i>Times of India</i>, Bombay, July, 1874. + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="akond"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page372" id="page372" title="372"></a> + <h3>THE AKOND OF SWAT.</h3> + <table width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5"> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">W</span>ho, or why, or which, or <i>what</i>, + Is the Akond of SWAT?<br /> + Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?<br /> + Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" width="33%" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or SQUAT?<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Is he wise or foolish, young or old?<br /> + Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" width="33%" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or HOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,<br /> + And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or TROT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?<br /> + Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a COT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + When he writes a copy in round-hand size,<br /> + Does he cross his T's and finish his I's<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + with a DOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Can he write a letter concisely clear<br /> + Without a speck or a smudge or smear<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or BLOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Do his people like him extremely well?<br /> + Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or PLOT,<br /> + At the Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + If he catches them then, either old or young,<br /> + Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or <i>shot</i>,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Do his people prig in the lanes or park?<br /> + Or even at times, when days are dark,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center"> + <p> + GAROTTE?<br /> + O the Akond of Swat! + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he study the wants of his own dominion?<br /> + Or doesn't he care for public opinion<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + a JOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + To amuse his mind do his people show him<br /> + Pictures, or any one's last new poem,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or WHAT,<br /> + For the Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,<br /> + Do they bring him only a few small cakes,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a LOT,<br /> + For the Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?<br /> + Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a DOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he like to lie on his back in a boat<br /> + Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + SHALLOTT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?<br /> + Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a SCOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?<br /> + Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a GROTT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?<br /> + Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a POT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page374" id="page374" title="374"></a> + Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,<br /> + When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or ROT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,<br /> + And tie it neat in a bow with ends,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a KNOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?<br /> + When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or NOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?<br /> + Does he sail about on an inland lake,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + in a YACHT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Some one, or nobody, knows I wot<br /> + Who or which or why or what<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + Is the Akond of Swat!<br /> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p class="smaller"> + <b>NOTE.—</b>For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, <i>passim</i>. + The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the + monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus. + </p> + </div> </div> + <hr /> + + <div class="subbook" id="botany3"> + <h2>NONSENSE BOTANY.</h2> + <p class="subbookmenu"> + <a href="#botany3_1">Armchairia Comfortabilis</a> <a href="#botany3_2">Bassia Palealensis</a> <a href="#botany3_3">Bubblia Blowpipia</a> <a href="#botany3_4">Bluebottlia Buzztilentia</a> <a href="#botany3_5">Crabbia Horrida</a> <a href="#botany3_6">Smalltoothcombia Domestica</a> <a href="#botany3_7">Knutmigrata Simplice</a> <a href="#botany3_8">Tureenia Ladlecum</a> <a href="#botany3_9">Puffia Leatherbellowsa</a> <a href="#botany3_10">Queeriflora Babyöides</a> + </p> + <hr /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="20px" border="0" class="botanygrid"> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page375" id="page375" title="375"></a> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page376" id="page376" title="376"></a> + <img src="images/414.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Armchairia Comfortabilis." id="botany3_1" /><br /> + Armchairia Comfortabilis. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page377" id="page377" title="377"></a> + <img src="images/415.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bassia Palealensis." id="botany3_2" /><br /> + Bassia Palealensis. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page378" id="page378" title="378"></a> + <img src="images/416.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bubblia Blowpipia." id="botany3_3" /><br /> + Bubblia Blowpipia. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page379" id="page379" title="379"></a> + <img src="images/417.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bluebottlia Buzztilentia." id="botany3_4" /><br /> + Bluebottlia Buzztilentia. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page380" id="page380" title="380"></a> + <img src="images/418.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Crabbia Horrida." id="botany3_5" /><br /> + Crabbia Horrida. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page381" id="page381" title="381"></a> + <img src="images/419.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Smalltoothcombia Domestica." id="botany3_6" /><br /> + Smalltoothcombia Domestica. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page382" id="page382" title="382"></a> + <img src="images/420.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Knutmigrata Simplice." id="botany3_7" /><br /> + Knutmigrata Simplice. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page383" id="page383" title="383"></a> + <img src="images/421.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Tureenia Ladlecum." id="botany3_8" /><br /> + Tureenia Ladlecum. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page384" id="page384" title="384"></a> + <img src="images/422.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Puffia Leatherbellowsa." id="botany3_9" /><br /> + Puffia Leatherbellowsa. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page385" id="page385" title="385"></a> + <img src="images/423.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Queeriflora Babyöides." id="botany3_10" /><br /> + Queeriflora Babyöides. + <a class="pagenumber" name="page386" id="page386" title="386"></a> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="subbook" id="alphabets2"> + <h2>NONSENSE ALPHABETS.</h2> + <p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a> <a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a> + </p> + + + <div class="chapter" id="alphabet5"> + + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid"> + <tr> + <td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu"> + <hr /> + <a href="#a5">a</a> <a href="#b5">b</a> <a href="#c5">c</a> <a href="#d5">d</a> <a href="#e5">e</a> <a href="#f5">f</a> <a href="#g5">g</a> <a href="#h5">h</a> <a href="#i5">i</a> <a href="#j5">j</a> <a href="#k5">k</a> <a href="#l5">l</a> <a href="#m5">m</a> <a href="#n5">n</a> <a href="#o5">o</a> <a href="#p5">p</a> <a href="#q5">q</a> <a href="#r5">r</a> <a href="#s5">s</a> <a href="#t5">t</a> <a href="#u5">u</a> <a href="#v5">v</a> <a href="#w5">w</a> <a href="#x5">x</a> <a href="#y5">y</a> <a href="#z5">z</a> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="a5">A</p> + <img src="images/424.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">A</span> was an Area Arch<br /> + <span class="i2">Where washerwomen sat;</span> + They made a lot of lovely starch<br /> + <span class="i2">To starch Papa's Cravat.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page388" id="page388" title="388"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="b5">B</p> + <img src="images/425.gif" alt="bottle" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"><p> + <span class="largecap">B</span> was a Bottle blue,<br /> + <span class="i2">Which was not very small;</span> + Papa he filled it full of beer, + <span class="i2">And then he drank it all.</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="c5">C</p> + <img src="images/426.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="cat" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">C</span> was Papa's gray Cat,<br /> + <span class="i2">Who caught a squeaky Mouse;</span> + She pulled him by his twirly tail<br /> + <span class="i2">All about the house.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page390" id="page390" title="390"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="d5">D</p> + <img src="images/427.gif" alt="duck" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">D</span> was Papa's white Duck,<br /> + <span class="i2">Who had a curly tail;</span> + One day it ate a great fat frog,<br /> + <span class="i2">Besides a leetle snail.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page395" id="page395" title="395"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="e5">E</p> + <img src="images/428.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="egg" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">E</span> was a little Egg,<br /> + <span class="i2">Upon the breakfast table;</span> + Papa came in and ate it up<br /> + <span class="i2">As fast as he was able.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page392" id="page392" title="392"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="f5">F</p> + <img src="images/429.gif" alt="fish" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">F</span> was a little Fish.<br /> + <span class="i2">Cook in the river took it</span> + Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!<br /> + <span class="i2">And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page393" id="page393" title="393"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="g5">G</p> + <img src="images/430.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="gun" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">G</span> was Papa's new Gun;<br /> + <span class="i2">He put it in a box;</span> + And then he went and bought a bun,<br /> + <span class="i2">And walked about the Docks.</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="h5">H</p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page394" id="page394" title="394"></a> + <img src="images/431.gif" alt="hat" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">H</span> was Papa's new Hat;<br /> + <span class="i2">He wore it on his head;</span> + Outside it was completely black,<br /> + <span class="i2">But inside it was red.</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="i5">I</p> + <img src="images/432.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">I</span> was an Inkstand new,<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa he likes to use it;</span> + He keeps it in his pocket now,<br /> + <span class="i2">For fear that he should lose it.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page396" id="page396" title="396"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="j5">J</p> + <img src="images/433.gif" alt="jam" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">J</span> was some Apple Jam,<br /> + <span class="i2">Of which Papa ate part;</span> + But all the rest he took away<br /> + <span class="i2">And stuffed into a tart.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page397" id="page397" title="397"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="k5">K</p> + <img src="images/434.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">K</span> was a great new Kite;<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa he saw it fly</span> + Above a thousand chimney pots,<br /> + <span class="i2">And all about the sky.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page398" id="page398" title="398"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="l5">L</p> + <img src="images/435.gif" alt="lamp" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">L</span> was a fine new Lamp;<br /> + <span class="i2">But when the wick was lit,</span> + Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!<br /> + <span class="i2">I cannot read a bit!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page399" id="page399" title="399"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="m5">M</p> + <img src="images/436.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="mince" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">M</span> was a dish of mince;<br /> + <span class="i2">It looked so good to eat!</span> + Papa, he quickly ate it up,<br /> + <span class="i2">And said, "This is a treat!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page400" id="page400" title="400"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="n5">N</p> + <img src="images/437.gif" alt="nut" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">N</span> was a Nut that grew<br /> + <span class="i2">High up upon a tree;</span> + Papa, who could not reach it, said,<br /> + <span class="i2">"That's <i>much</i> too high for me!"</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="o5">O</p> + <img src="images/438.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="owl" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">O</span> was an Owl who flew<br /> + <span class="i2">All in the dark away,</span> + Papa said, "What an owl you are!<br /> + <span class="i2">Why don't you fly by day?"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page402" id="page402" title="402"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="p5">P</p> + <img src="images/439.gif" alt="pig" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">P</span> was a little Pig,<br /> + <span class="i2">Went out to take a walk;</span> + Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,<br /> + <span class="i2">He'd all turn into Pork!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page403" id="page403" title="403"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="q5">Q</p> + <img src="images/440.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="quince" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">Q</span> was a Quince that hung<br /> + <span class="i2">Upon a garden tree;</span> + Papa he brought it with him home,<br /> + <span class="i2">And ate it with his tea.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page404" id="page404" title="404"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="r5">R</p> + <img src="images/441.gif" alt="rug" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">R</span> was a Railway Rug<br /> + <span class="i2">Extremely large and warm;</span> + Papa he wrapped it round his head,<br /> + <span class="i2">In a most dreadful storm.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page405" id="page405" title="405"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="s5">S</p> + <img src="images/442.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="stick" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">S</span> was Papa's new Stick,<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa's new thumping Stick,</span> + To thump extremely wicked boys,<br /> + <span class="i2">Because it was so thick.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page406" id="page406" title="406"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="t5">T</p> + <img src="images/443.gif" alt="tumbler" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span> was a tumbler full<br /> + <span class="i2">Of Punch all hot and good;</span> + Papa he drank it up, when in<br /> + <span class="i2">The middle of a wood.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page407" id="page407" title="407"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="u5">U</p> + <img src="images/444.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="urn" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">U</span> was a silver urn,<br /> + <span class="i2">Full of hot scalding water;</span> + Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,<br /> + <span class="i2">I'd give it to my daughter!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page408" id="page408" title="408"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="v5">V</p> + <img src="images/445.gif" alt="villain" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">V</span> was a Villain; once<br /> + <span class="i2">He stole a piece of beef.</span> + Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!<br /> + <span class="i2">That Villain is a Thief!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page409" id="page409" title="409"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="w5">W</p> + <img src="images/446.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="watch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">W</span> was a Watch of Gold:<br /> + <span class="i2">It told the time of day,</span> + So that Papa knew when to come,<br /> + <span class="i2">And when to go away.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page410" id="page410" title="410"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="x5">X</p> + <img src="images/447.gif" alt="xerxes" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">X</span> was King Xerxes, whom<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa much wished to know;</span> + But this he could not do, because<br /> + <span class="i2">Xerxes died long ago.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page415" id="page415" title="415"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="y5">Y</p> + <img src="images/448.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="youth" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">Y</span> was a Youth, who kicked<br /> + <span class="i2">And screamed and cried like mad;</span> + Papa he said, "Your conduct is<br /> + <span class="i2">Abominably bad!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page412" id="page412" title="412"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="z5">Z</p> + <img src="images/449.gif" alt="zebra" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">Z</span> was a Zebra striped<br /> + <span class="i2">And streaked with lines of black;</span> + Papa said once, he thought he'd like<br /> + <span class="i2">A ride upon his back.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page413" id="page413" title="413"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + <div class="chapter" id="alphabet6"> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid"> + <tr> + <td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu"> + <hr /> + <a href="#a6">a</a> <a href="#b6">b</a> <a href="#c6">c</a> <a href="#d6">d</a> <a href="#e6">e</a> <a href="#f6">f</a> <a href="#g6">g</a> <a href="#h6">h</a> <a href="#i6">i</a> <a href="#j6">j</a> <a href="#k6">k</a> <a href="#l6">l</a> <a href="#m6">m</a> <a href="#n6">n</a> <a href="#o6">o</a> <a href="#p6">p</a> <a href="#q6">q</a> <a href="#r6">r</a> <a href="#s6">s</a> <a href="#t6">t</a> <a href="#u6">u</a> <a href="#v6">v</a> <a href="#w6">w</a> <a href="#x6">x</a> <a href="#y6">y</a> <a href="#z6">z</a> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="a6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/a.gif" alt="A" align="middle" />tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood, + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="b6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/b.gif" alt="B" align="middle" />said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="c6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/c.gif" alt="C" align="middle" />said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="d6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/d.gif" alt="D" align="middle" />said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="e6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/e.gif" alt="E" align="middle" />said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="f6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/f.gif" alt="F" align="middle" />said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="g6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/g.gif" alt="G" align="middle" />said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="h6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/h.gif" alt="H" align="middle" />said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="i6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/i.gif" alt="I" align="middle" />said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="j6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/j.gif" alt="J" align="middle" />said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="k6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/k.gif" alt="K" align="middle" />said, "A Kangaroo is here,—this picture let him see." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="l6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/l.gif" alt="L" align="middle" />said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="m6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/m.gif" alt="M" align="middle" />said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="n6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/n.gif" alt="N" align="middle" />said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="o6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/o.gif" alt="O" align="middle" />said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="p6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/p.gif" alt="P" align="middle" /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page414" id="page414" title="414"></a> + P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="q6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/q.gif" alt="Q" align="middle" />said, "A Quince I recommend,—a Quince, or else a Quail." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="r6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/r.gif" alt="R" align="middle" />said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="s6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/s.gif" alt="S" align="middle" />said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="t6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/t.gif" alt="T" align="middle" />said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="u6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/u.gif" alt="U" align="middle" />said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="v6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/v.gif" alt="V" align="middle" />said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="w6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/w.gif" alt="W" align="middle" />said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="x6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/x.gif" alt="X" align="middle" />said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="y6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/y.gif" alt="Y" align="middle" />said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="z6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/z.gif" alt="Z" align="middle" />said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!<br /> + <span class="i9">We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little master!</span> + <span class="i9">We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad disaster!"</span> + </p> + <br /> + <br /> + <br /> + <br /> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + </div> +</div> +<br /> +<hr class="pg" /> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS***</p> +<p>******* This file should be named 13649-h.txt or 13649-h.zip *******</p> +<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649">https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/6/4/13649</a></p> +<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed.</p> + +<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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