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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, More Nonsense, by Edward Lear
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: More Nonsense
+
+Author: Edward Lear
+
+Release Date: October 8, 2004 [eBook #13648]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MORE NONSENSE***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney, and Project
+Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+ file which includes the original illustrations.
+ See 13648-h.htm or 13648-h.zip:
+ (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13648/13648-h/13648-h.htm)
+ or
+ (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13648/13648-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+
+MORE NONSENSE
+
+Pictures, Rhymes, Botany, etc.
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+ NONSENSE BOTANY
+
+ ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES
+
+ TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+In offering this little book--the third of its kind--to the public, I am
+glad to take the opportunity of recording the pleasure I have received at
+the appreciation its predecessors have met with, as attested by their wide
+circulation, and by the universally kind notices of them from the Press. To
+have been the means of administering innocent mirth to thousands, may
+surely be a just motive for satisfaction, and an excuse for grateful
+expression.
+
+At the same time, I am desirous of adding a few words as to the history of
+the two previously published volumes, and more particularly of the first or
+original "Book of Nonsense," relating to which many absurd reports have
+crept into circulation, such as that it was the composition of the late
+Lord Brougham, the late Earl of Derby, etc.; that the rhymes and pictures
+are by different persons; or that the whole have a symbolical meaning,
+etc.; whereas, every one of the Rhymes was composed by myself, and every
+one of the Illustrations drawn by my own hand at the time the verses were
+made. Moreover, in no portion of these Nonsense drawings have I ever
+allowed any caricature of private or public persons to appear, and
+throughout, more care than might be supposed has been given to make the
+subjects incapable of misinterpretation: "Nonsense," pure and absolute,
+having been my aim throughout.
+
+As for the persistently absurd report of the late Earl of Derby being the
+author of the "First Book of Nonsense," I may relate an incident which
+occurred to me four summers ago, the first that gave me any insight into
+the origin of the rumor.
+
+I was on my way from London to Guildford, in a railway carriage,
+containing, besides myself, one passenger, an elderly gentleman: presently,
+however, two ladies entered, accompanied by two little boys. These, who had
+just had a copy of the "Book of Nonsense" given them, were loud in their
+delight, and by degrees infected the whole party with their mirth.
+
+"How grateful," said the old gentleman to the two ladies, "all children,
+and parents too, ought to be to the statesman who has given his time to
+composing that charming book!"
+
+(The ladies looked puzzled, as indeed was I, the author.)
+
+"Do you not know who is the writer of it?" asked the gentleman.
+
+"The name is 'Edward Lear,'" said one of the ladies.
+
+"Ah!" said the first speaker, "so it is printed; but that is only a whim of
+the real author, the Earl of Derby. 'Edward' is his Christian name, and, as
+you may see, LEAR is only EARL transposed."
+
+"But," said the lady, doubtingly, "here is a dedication to the
+great-grandchildren, grand-nephews, and grand-nieces of Edward, thirteenth
+Earl of Derby, by the author, Edward Lear."
+
+"That," replied the other, "is simply a piece of mystification; I am in a
+position to know that the whole book was composed and illustrated by Lord
+Derby himself. In fact, there is no such a person at all as Edward Lear."
+
+"Yet," said the other lady, "some friends of mine tell me they know Mr.
+Lear."
+
+"Quite a mistake! completely a mistake!" said the old gentleman, becoming
+rather angry at the contradiction; "I am well aware of what I am saying: I
+can inform you, no such a person as 'Edward Lear' exists!"
+
+Hitherto I had kept silence; but as my hat was, as well as my handkerchief
+and stick, largely marked inside with my name, and as I happened to have in
+my pocket several letters addressed to me, the temptation was too great to
+resist; so, flashing all these articles at once on my would-be
+extinguisher's attention, I speedily reduced him to silence.
+
+The second volume of Nonsense, commencing with the verses, "The Owl and the
+Pussy-Cat," was written at different times, and for different sets of
+children: the whole being collected in the course of last year, were then
+illustrated, and published in a single volume, by Mr. R.J. Bush, of 32
+Charing Cross.
+
+The contents of the third or present volume were made also at different
+intervals in the last two years.
+
+Long years ago, in days when much of my time was passed in a country house,
+where children and mirth abounded, the lines beginning, "There was an old
+man of Tobago," were suggested to me by a valued friend, as a form of verse
+lending itself to limitless variety for rhymes and pictures; and
+thenceforth the greater part of the original drawings and verses for the
+first "Book of Nonsense" were struck off with a pen, no assistance ever
+having been given me in any way but that of uproarious delight and welcome
+at the appearance of every new absurdity.
+
+Most of these Drawings and Rhymes were transferred to lithographic stones
+in the year 1846, and were then first published by Mr. Thomas McLean, of
+the Haymarket. But that edition having been soon exhausted, and the call
+for the "Book of Nonsense" continuing, I added a considerable number of
+subjects to those previously-published, and having caused the whole to be
+carefully reproduced in woodcuts by Messrs. Dalzell, I disposed of the
+copyright to Messrs. Routledge and Warne, by whom the volume was published
+in 1843.
+ EDWARD LEAR.
+
+VILLA EMILY, SAN REMO,
+August, 1871.
+
+
+
+
+NONSENSE BOTANY.
+
+
+[Illustration: Barkia Howlaloudia.]
+
+[Illustration: Enkoopia Chickabiddia.]
+
+[Illustration: Jinglia Tinkettlia.]
+
+[Illustration: Nasticreechia Krorluppia.]
+
+[Illustration: Arthbroomia Rigida.]
+
+[Illustration: Sophtsluggia Glutinosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Minspysia Deliciosa.]
+
+[Illustration: Shoebootia Utilis.]
+
+[Illustration: Stunnia Dinnerbellia.]
+
+[Illustration: Tickia Orologica.]
+
+[Illustration: Washtubbia Circularis.]
+
+[Illustration: Tigerlillia Terribilis.]
+
+ * * * * *
+
+
+
+
+ONE HUNDRED NONSENSE PICTURES AND RHYMES.
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young person of Bantry,
+ Who frequently slept in the pantry;
+ When disturbed by the mice, she appeased them with rice,
+ That judicious young person of Bantry.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an Old Man at a Junction,
+ Whose feelings were wrung with compunction
+ When they said, "The Train's gone!" he exclaimed, "How forlorn!"
+ But remained on the rails of the Junction.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Minety,
+ Who purchased five hundred and ninety
+ Large apples and pears, which he threw unawares
+ At the heads of the people of Minety.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Thermopylae,
+ Who never did anything properly;
+ But they said, "If you choose to boil eggs in your shoes,
+ You shall never remain in Thermopylae."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Deal,
+ Who in walking used only his heel;
+ When they said, "Tell us why?" he made no reply,
+ That mysterious old person of Deal.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man on the Humber,
+ Who dined on a cake of Burnt Umber;
+ When he said, "It's enough!" they only said, "Stuff!
+ You amazing old man on the Humber!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man in a barge,
+ Whose nose was exceedingly large;
+ But in fishing by night, it supported a light,
+ Which helped that old man in a barge.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Dunrose;
+ A parrot seized hold of his nose.
+ When he grew melancholy, they said, "His name's Polly,"
+ Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Toulouse
+ Who purchased a new pair of shoes;
+ When they asked, "Are they pleasant?" he said, "Not at present!"
+ That turbid old man of Toulouse.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Bree,
+ Who frequented the depths of the sea;
+ She nurs'd the small fishes, and washed all the dishes,
+ And swam back again into Bree.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Bromley,
+ Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;
+ He sate in the dust, eating spiders and crust,
+ That unpleasing old person of Bromley.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Shields,
+ Who frequented the vallies and fields;
+ All the mice and the cats, and the snakes and the rats,
+ Followed after that person of Shields.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Dunluce,
+ Who went out to sea on a goose:
+ When he'd gone out a mile, he observ'd with a smile,
+ "It is time to return to Dunluce."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Dee-side
+ Whose hat was exceedingly wide,
+ But he said, "Do not fail, if it happen to hail,
+ To come under my hat at Dee-side!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person in black,
+ A Grasshopper jumped on his back;
+ When it chirped in his ear, he was smitten with fear,
+ That helpless old person in black.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of the Dargle
+ Who purchased six barrels of Gargle;
+ For he said, "I'll sit still, and will roll them down hill,
+ For the fish in the depths of the Dargle."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Pinner,
+ As thin as a lath, if not thinner;
+ They dressed him in white, and roll'd him up tight,
+ That elastic old person of Pinner.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of China,
+ Whose daughters were Jiska and Dinah,
+ Amelia and Fluffy, Olivia and Chuffy,
+ And all of them settled in China.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man in a Marsh,
+ Whose manners were futile and harsh;
+ He sate on a log, and sang songs to a frog,
+ That instructive old man in a Marsh.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Brill,
+ Who purchased a shirt with a frill;
+ But they said, "Don't you wish, you mayn't look like a fish,
+ You obsequious old person of Brill?"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Wick,
+ Who said, "Tick-a-Tick, Tick-a-Tick;
+ Chickabee, Chickabaw." And he said nothing more,
+ That laconic old person of Wick.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man at a Station,
+ Who made a promiscuous oration;
+ But they said, "Take some snuff!--You have talk'd quite enough,
+ You afflicting old man at a Station!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Three Bridges,
+ Whose mind was distracted by midges,
+ He sate on a wheel, eating underdone veal,
+ Which relieved that old man of Three Bridges.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Hong Kong,
+ Who never did anything wrong;
+ He lay on his back, with his head in a sack,
+ That innocuous old man of Hong Kong.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young person in green,
+ Who seldom was fit to be seen;
+ She wore a long shawl, over bonnet and all,
+ Which enveloped that person in green.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Fife,
+ Who was greatly disgusted with life;
+ They sang him a ballad, and fed him on salad,
+ Which cured that old person of Fife.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man who screamed out
+ Whenever they knocked him about:
+ So they took off his boots, and fed him with fruits,
+ And continued to knock him about.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young lady in white,
+ Who looked out at the depths of the night;
+ But the birds of the air, filled her heart with despair,
+ And oppressed that young lady in white.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Slough,
+ Who danced at the end of a bough;
+ But they said, "If you sneeze, you might damage the trees,
+ You imprudent old person of Slough."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Down,
+ Whose face was adorned with a frown;
+ When he opened the door, for one minute or more,
+ He alarmed all the people of Down.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young person in red,
+ Who carefully covered her head,
+ With a bonnet of leather, and three lines of feather,
+ Besides some long ribands of red.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Hove,
+ Who frequented the depths of a grove;
+ Where he studied his books, with the wrens and the rooks,
+ That tranquil old person of Hove.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young person in pink,
+ Who called out for something to drink;
+ But they said, "O my daughter, there's nothing but water!"
+ Which vexed that young person in pink.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old lady of France,
+ Who taught little ducklings to dance;
+ When she said, "Tick-a-tack!" they only said, "Quack!"
+ Which grieved that old lady of France.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Putney,
+ Whose food was roast spiders and chutney,
+ Which he took with his tea, within sight of the sea,
+ That romantic old person of Putney.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Loo,
+ Who said, "What on earth shall I do?"
+ When they said, "Go away!" she continued to stay,
+ That vexatious old person of Loo.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Woking,
+ Whose mind was perverse and provoking;
+ He sate on a rail, with his head in a pail,
+ That illusive old person of Woking.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Dean
+ Who dined on one pea, and one bean;
+ For he said, "More than that, would make me too fat,"
+ That cautious old person of Dean.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young lady in blue,
+ Who said, "Is it you? Is it you?"
+ When they said, "Yes, it is," she replied only, "Whizz!"
+ That ungracious young lady in blue.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old Man in a Garden,
+ Who always begged every one's pardon;
+ When they asked him, "What for?" he replied, "You're a bore!
+ And I trust you'll go out of my garden."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Pisa,
+ Whose daughters did nothing to please her;
+ She dressed them in gray, and banged them all day,
+ Round the walls of the city of Pisa.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Florence,
+ Who held mutton chops in abhorrence;
+ He purchased a Bustard, and fried him in Mustard,
+ Which choked that old person of Florence.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Sheen,
+ Whose expression was calm and serene;
+ He sate in the water, and drank bottled porter,
+ That placid old person of Sheen.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Ware,
+ Who rode on the back of a bear;
+ When they ask'd, "Does it trot?" he said, "Certainly not!
+ He's a Moppsikon Floppsikon bear!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young person of Janina,
+ Whose uncle was always a fanning her;
+ When he fanned off her head, she smiled sweetly, and said,
+ "You propitious old person of Janina!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Cashmere,
+ Whose movements were scroobious and queer;
+ Being slender and tall, he looked over a wall,
+ And perceived two fat ducks of Cashmere.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Cassel,
+ Whose nose finished off in a tassel;
+ But they call'd out, "Oh well! don't it look like a bell!"
+ Which perplexed that old person of Cassel.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Pett,
+ Who was partly consumed by regret;
+ He sate in a cart, and ate cold apple tart,
+ Which relieved that old person of Pett.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Spithead,
+ Who opened the window, and said,--
+ "Fil-jomble, fil-jumble, fil-rumble-come-tumble!"
+ That doubtful old man of Spithead.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man on the Border,
+ Who lived in the utmost disorder;
+ He danced with the cat, and made tea in his hat,
+ Which vexed all the folks on the Border.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Dumbree,
+ Who taught little owls to drink tea;
+ For he said, "To eat mice is not proper or nice,"
+ That amiable man of Dumbree.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Filey,
+ Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
+ He danced perfectly well, to the sound of a bell,
+ And delighted the people of Filey.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man whose remorse
+ Induced him to drink Caper Sauce;
+ For they said, "If mixed up with some cold claret-cup,
+ It will certainly soothe your remorse!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Ibreem,
+ Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;
+ But they said, "If you do, we will thump you quite blue,
+ You disgusting old man of Ibreem!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Wilts,
+ Who constantly walked upon stilts;
+ He wreathed them with lilies and daffy-down-dillies,
+ That elegant person of Wilts.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Grange,
+ Whose manners were scroobious and strange;
+ He sailed to St. Blubb in a waterproof tub,
+ That aquatic old person of Grange.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Newry,
+ Whose manners were tinctured with fury;
+ He tore all the rugs, and broke all the jugs,
+ Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Dumblane,
+ Who greatly resembled a crane;
+ But they said, "Is it wrong, since your legs are so long,
+ To request you won't stay in Dumblane?"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Port Grigor,
+ Whose actions were noted for vigour;
+ He stood on his head till his waistcoat turned red,
+ That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of El Hums,
+ Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
+ Which he picked off the ground, with the other birds round,
+ In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of West Dumpet,
+ Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
+ When he blew it aloud, it astonished the crowd,
+ And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Sark,
+ Who made an unpleasant remark;
+ But they said, "Don't you see what a brute you must be,
+ You obnoxious old person of Sark!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man whose despair
+ Induced him to purchase a hare:
+ Whereon one fine day he rode wholly away,
+ Which partly assuaged his despair.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Barnes,
+ Whose garments were covered with darns;
+ But they said, "Without doubt, you will soon wear them out,
+ You luminous person of Barnes!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Nice,
+ Whose associates were usually Geese.
+ They walked out together in all sorts of weather,
+ That affable person of Nice!
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young lady of Greenwich,
+ Whose garments were border'd with Spinach;
+ But a large spotty Calf bit her shawl quite in half,
+ Which alarmed that young lady of Greenwich.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Cannes,
+ Who purchased three fowls and a fan;
+ Those she placed on a stool, and to make them feel cool
+ She constantly fanned them at Cannes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Ickley,
+ Who could not abide to ride quickly;
+ He rode to Karnak on a tortoise's back,
+ That moony old person of Ickley.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Hyde,
+ Who walked by the shore with his bride,
+ Till a Crab who came near fill'd their bosoms with fear,
+ And they said, "Would we'd never left Hyde!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person in gray,
+ Whose feelings were tinged with dismay;
+ She purchased two parrots, and fed them with carrots,
+ Which pleased that old person in gray.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Ancona,
+ Who found a small dog with no owner,
+ Which he took up and down all the streets of the town,
+ That anxious old man of Ancona.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Sestri,
+ Who sate himself down in the vestry;
+ When they said, "You are wrong!" he merely said "Bong!"
+ That repulsive old person of Sestri.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Blythe,
+ Who cut up his meat with a scythe;
+ When they said, "Well! I never!" he cried, "Scythes for ever!"
+ That lively old person of Blythe.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young person of Ayr,
+ Whose head was remarkably square:
+ On the top, in fine weather, she wore a gold feather;
+ Which dazzled the people of Ayr.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Rimini,
+ Who said, "Gracious! Goodness! O Gimini!"
+ When they said, "Please be still!" she ran down a hill,
+ And was never more heard of at Rimini.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There is a young lady, whose nose,
+ Continually prospers and grows;
+ When it grew out of sight, she exclaimed in a fright,
+ "Oh! Farewell to the end of my nose!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Ealing,
+ Who was wholly devoid of good feeling;
+ He drove a small gig, with three Owls and a Pig,
+ Which distressed all the people of Ealing.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Thames Ditton,
+ Who called out for something to sit on;
+ But they brought him a hat, and said, "Sit upon that,
+ You abruptious old man of Thames Ditton!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Bray,
+ Who sang through the whole of the day
+ To his ducks and his pigs, whom he fed upon figs,
+ That valuable person of Bray.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young person whose history
+ Was always considered a mystery;
+ She sate in a ditch, although no one knew which,
+ And composed a small treatise on history.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Bow,
+ Whom nobody happened to know;
+ So they gave him some soap, and said coldly, "We hope
+ You will go back directly to Bow!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Rye,
+ Who went up to town on a fly;
+ But they said, "If you cough, you are safe to fall off!
+ You abstemious old person of Rye!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Crowle,
+ Who lived in the nest of an owl;
+ When they screamed in the nest, he screamed out with the rest,
+ That depressing old person of Crowle.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,
+ Who said, "If you needle or pin shall see
+ On the floor of my room, sweep it up with the broom!"
+ That exhaustive old Lady of Winchelsea!
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man in a tree,
+ Whose whiskers were lovely to see;
+ But the birds of the air pluck'd them perfectly bare,
+ To make themselves nests in that tree.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young lady of Corsica,
+ Who purchased a little brown saucy-cur;
+ Which she fed upon ham, and hot raspberry jam,
+ That expensive young lady of Corsica.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young lady of Firle,
+ Whose hair was addicted to curl;
+ It curled up a tree, and all over the sea,
+ That expansive young lady of Firle.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Stroud,
+ Who was horribly jammed in a crowd;
+ Some she slew with a kick, some she scrunched with a stick,
+ That impulsive old person of Stroud.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Boulak,
+ Who sate on a Crocodile's back;
+ But they said, "Towr'ds the night he may probably bite,
+ Which might vex you, old man of Boulak!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Skye,
+ Who waltz'd with a Bluebottle fly:
+ They buzz'd a sweet tune, to the light of the moon,
+ And entranced all the people of Skye.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Blackheath,
+ Whose head was adorned with a wreath
+ Of lobsters and spice, pickled onions and mice,
+ That uncommon old man of Blackheath.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man, who when little
+ Fell casually into a kettle;
+ But, growing too stout, he could never get out,
+ So he passed all his life in that kettle.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Dundalk,
+ Who tried to teach fishes to walk;
+ When they tumbled down dead, he grew weary, and said,
+ "I had better go back to Dundalk!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Shoreham,
+ Whose habits were marked by decorum;
+ He bought an Umbrella, and sate in the cellar,
+ Which pleased all the people of Shoreham.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Bar,
+ Who passed all her life in a jar,
+ Which she painted pea-green, to appear more serene,
+ That placid old person of Bar.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was a young person of Kew,
+ Whose virtues and vices were few;
+ But with blamable haste she devoured some hot paste,
+ Which destroyed that young person of Kew.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Jodd,
+ Whose ways were perplexing and odd;
+ She purchased a whistle, and sate on a thistle,
+ And squeaked to the people of Jodd.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Bude,
+ Whose deportment was vicious and crude;
+ He wore a large ruff of pale straw-colored stuff,
+ Which perplexed all the people of Bude.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old person of Brigg,
+ Who purchased no end of a wig;
+ So that only his nose, and the end of his toes,
+ Could be seen when he walked about Brigg.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ There was an old man of Messina,
+ Whose daughter was named Opsibeena;
+ She wore a small wig, and rode out on a pig,
+ To the perfect delight of Messina.
+
+
+
+
+TWENTY-SIX NONSENSE RHYMES AND PICTURES.
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Absolutely Abstemious Ass,
+ who resided in a Barrel, and only lived on
+ Soda Water and Pickled Cucumbers.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Bountiful Beetle,
+ who always carried a Green Umbrella when it didn't rain,
+ and left it at home when it did.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Comfortable Confidential Cow,
+ who sate in her Red Morocco Arm Chair and
+ toasted her own Bread at the parlour Fire.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Dolomphious Duck,
+ who caught Spotted Frogs for her dinner
+ with a Runcible Spoon.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Enthusiastic Elephant,
+ who ferried himself across the water with the
+ Kitchen Poker and a New pair of Ear-rings.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Fizzgiggious Fish,
+ who always walked about upon Stilts,
+ because he had no legs.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Good-natured Grey Gull,
+ who carried the Old Owl, and his Crimson Carpet-bag,
+ across the river, because he could not swim.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Hasty Higgeldipiggledy Hen,
+ who went to market in a Blue Bonnet and Shawl,
+ and bought a Fish for her Supper.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Inventive Indian,
+ who caught a Remarkable Rabbit in a
+ Stupendous Silver Spoon.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Judicious Jubilant Jay,
+ who did up her Back Hair every morning with a Wreath of Roses,
+ Three feathers, and a Gold Pin.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Kicking Kangaroo,
+ who wore a Pale Pink Muslin dress
+ with Blue spots.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Lively Learned Lobster,
+ who mended his own Clothes with
+ a Needle and Thread.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Melodious Meritorious Mouse,
+ who played a merry minuet on the
+ Piano-forte.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Nutritious Newt,
+ who purchased a Round Plum-pudding
+ for his grand-daughter.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Obsequious Ornamental Ostrich,
+ who wore Boots to keep his
+ feet quite dry.
+
+ [Illustration: PARSNIP PIE]
+
+ The Perpendicular Purple Polly,
+ who read the Newspaper and ate Parsnip Pie
+ with his Spectacles.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Queer Querulous Quail,
+ who smoked a Pipe of tobacco on the top of
+ a Tin Tea-kettle.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Rural Runcible Raven,
+ who wore a White Wig and flew away
+ with the Carpet Broom.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Scroobious Snake,
+ who always wore a Hat on his Head, for
+ fear he should bite anybody.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Tumultuous Tom-tommy Tortoise,
+ who beat a Drum all day long in the
+ middle of the wilderness.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Umbrageous Umbrella-maker,
+ whose Face nobody ever saw, because it was
+ always covered by his Umbrella.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Visibly Vicious Vulture,
+ who wrote some Verses to a Veal-cutlet in a
+ Volume bound in Vellum.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Worrying Whizzing Wasp,
+ who stood on a Table, and played sweetly on a
+ Flute with a Morning Cap.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Excellent Double-extra XX
+ imbibing King Xerxes, who lived a
+ long while ago.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo,
+ whose Head was ever so much bigger than his
+ Body, and whose Hat was rather small.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+ The Zigzag Zealous Zebra,
+ who carried five Monkeys on his back all
+ the way to Jellibolee.
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MORE NONSENSE***
+
+
+******* This file should be named 13648.txt or 13648.zip *******
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