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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13646 ***
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+      file which includes the original illustrations.
+      See 13646-h.htm or 13646-h.zip:
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13646/13646-h/13646-h.htm)
+      or
+      (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13646/13646-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+
+A BOOK OF NONSENSE
+
+by
+
+EDWARD LEAR
+
+With All the Original Pictures and Verses
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+There was an Old Derry down Derry, who loved to see little folks
+  merry;
+    So he made them a Book, and with laughter they shook
+      At the fun of that Derry down Derry.
+
+
+                 Original Dedication.
+
+                       TO THE
+ GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN, GRAND-NEPHEWS, AND GRAND-NIECES
+           OF EDWARD, 13TH EARL OF DERBY,
+          THIS BOOK OF DRAWINGS AND VERSES
+
+     (The greater part of which were originally
+         made and composed for their parents.)
+
+               Is Dedicated by the Author,
+                                          EDWARD LEAR.
+
+       London, 1862.
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a nose,
+    Who said, "If you choose to suppose
+    That my nose is too long, you are certainly wrong!"
+    That remarkable Man with a nose.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Smyrna,
+    Whose Grandmother threatened to burn her;
+    But she seized on the Cat, and said, "Granny, burn that!
+    You incongruous Old Woman of Smyrna!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on a hill,
+    Who seldom, if ever, stood still;
+    He ran up and down in his Grandmother's gown,
+    Which adorned that Old Man on a hill.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chili,
+    Whose conduct was painful and silly;
+    He sate on the stairs, eating apples and pears,
+    That imprudent Old Person of Chili.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a gong,
+    Who bumped at it all the day long;
+    But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kilkenny,
+    Who never had more than a penny;
+    He spent all that money in onions and honey,
+    That wayward Old Man of Kilkenny.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Columbia,
+    Who was thirsty, and called out for some beer;
+    But they brought it quite hot, in a small copper pot,
+    Which disgusted that man of Columbia.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a tree,
+    Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
+    When they said, "Does it buzz?" he replied, "Yes, it does!
+    It's a regular brute of a Bee."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Chertsey,
+    Who made a remarkable curtsey;
+    She twirled round and round, till she sank underground,
+    Which distressed all the people of Chertsey.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose chin
+    Resembled the point of a pin;
+    So she had it made sharp, and purchased a harp,
+    And played several tunes with her chin.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a flute,--
+    A "sarpint" ran into his boot!
+    But he played day and night, till the "sarpint" took flight,
+    And avoided that Man with a flute.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Portugal,
+    Whose ideas were excessively nautical;
+    She climbed up a tree to examine the sea,
+    But declared she would never leave Portugal.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ischia,
+    Whose conduct grew friskier and friskier;
+    He danced hornpipes and jigs, and ate thousands of figs,
+    That lively Old Person of Ischia
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vienna,
+    Who lived upon Tincture of Senna;
+    When that did not agree, he took Camomile Tea,
+    That nasty Old Man of Vienna.
+
+    [Illustraion]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a boat,
+    Who said, "I'm afloat! I'm afloat!"
+    When they said, "No, you ain't!" he was ready to faint,
+    That unhappy Old Man in a boat.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Buda,
+    Whose conduct grew ruder and ruder,
+    Till at last with a hammer they silenced his clamor.
+    By smashing that Person of Buda.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Moldavia,
+    Who had the most curious behavior;
+    For while he was able, he slept on a table,
+    That funny Old Man of Moldavia.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Hurst,
+    Who drank when he was not athirst;
+    When they said, "You'll grow fatter!" he answered "What matter?"
+    That globular Person of Hurst.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Madras,
+    Who rode on a cream-colored Ass;
+    But the length of its ears so promoted his fears,
+    That it killed that Old Man of Madras.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dover,
+    Who rushed through a field of blue clover;
+    But some very large Bees stung his nose and his knees,
+    So he very soon went back to Dover.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Leeds,
+    Whose head was infested with beads;
+    She sat on a stool and ate gooseberry-fool,
+    Which agreed with that Person of Leeds.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cadiz,
+    Who was always polite to all ladies;
+    But in handing his daughter, he fell into the water,
+    Which drowned that Old Person of Cadiz.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Isles,
+    Whose face was pervaded with smiles;
+    He sang "High dum diddle," and played on the fiddle,
+    That amiable Man of the Isles.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Basing,
+    Whose presence of mind was amazing;
+    He purchased a steed, which he rode at full speed,
+    And escaped from the people of Basing.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who supposed
+    That the street door was partially closed;
+    But some very large Rats ate his coats and his hats,
+    While that futile Old Gentleman dozed.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person whose habits
+    Induced him to feed upon Rabbits;
+    When he'd eaten eighteen, he turned perfectly green,
+    Upon which he relinquished those habits.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who wore a pale plum-colored vest;
+    When they said, "Does it fit?" he replied, "Not a bit!"
+    That uneasy Old Man of the West.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Marseilles,
+    Whose daughters wore bottle-green veils:
+    They caught several Fish, which they put in a dish,
+    And sent to their Pa at Marseilles.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Wrekin,
+    Whose shoes made a horrible creaking;
+    But they said, "Tell us whether your shoes are of leather,
+    Or of what, you Old Man of the Wrekin?"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose nose
+    Was so long that it reached to her toes;
+    So she hired an Old Lady, whose conduct was steady,
+    To carry that wonderful nose.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Norway,
+    Who casually sat in a doorway;
+    When the door squeezed her flat, she exclaimed, "What of that?"
+    This courageous Young Lady of Norway.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Apulia,
+    Whose conduct was very peculiar;
+    He fed twenty sons upon nothing but buns,
+    That whimsical Man of Apulia.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Quebec,--
+    A beetle ran over his neck;
+    But he cried, "With a needle I'll slay you, O beadle!"
+    That angry Old Man of Quebec.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Bute,
+    Who played on a silver-gilt flute;
+    She played several jigs to her Uncle's white Pigs:
+    That amusing Young Lady of Bute.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Philoe,
+    Whose conduct was scroobious and wily;
+    He rushed up a Palm when the weather was calm,
+    And observed all the ruins of Philoe.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a poker,
+    Who painted his face with red ochre.
+    When they said, "You 're a Guy!" he made no reply,
+    But knocked them all down with his poker.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Prague,
+    Who was suddenly seized with the plague;
+    But they gave him some butter, which caused him to mutter,
+    And cured that Old Person of Prague.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru,
+    Who watched his wife making a stew;
+    But once, by mistake, in a stove she did bake
+    That unfortunate Man of Peru.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the North,
+    Who fell into a basin of broth;
+    But a laudable cook fished him out with a hook,
+    Which saved that Old Man of the North.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Troy,
+    Whose drink was warm brandy and soy,
+    Which he took with a spoon, by the light of the moon,
+    In sight of the city of Troy.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Mold,
+    Who shrank from sensations of cold;
+    So he purchased some muffs, some furs, and some fluffs,
+    And wrapped himself well from the cold.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tring,
+    Who embellished his nose with a ring;
+    He gazed at the moon every evening in June,
+    That ecstatic Old Person of Tring.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Nepaul,
+    From his horse had a terrible fall;
+    But, though split quite in two, with some very strong glue
+    They mended that man of Nepaul.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Nile,
+    Who sharpened his nails with a file,
+    Till he cut off his thumbs, and said calmly, "This comes
+    Of sharpening one's nails with a file!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of th' Abruzzi,
+    So blind that he couldn't his foot see;
+    When they said, "That's your toe," he replied, "Is it so?"
+    That doubtful Old Man of th' Abruzzi.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Calcutta,
+    Who perpetually ate bread and butter;
+    Till a great bit of muffin, on which he was stuffing,
+    Choked that horrid Old Man of Calcutta.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rhodes,
+    Who strongly objected to toads;
+    He paid several cousins to catch them by dozens,
+    That futile Old Person of Rhodes.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the South,
+    Who had an immoderate mouth;
+    But in swallowing a dish that was quite full of Fish,
+    He was choked, that Old Man of the South.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Melrose,
+    Who walked on the tips of his toes;
+    But they said, "It ain't pleasant to see you at present,
+    You stupid Old Man of Melrose."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Dee,
+    Who was sadly annoyed by a Flea;
+    When he said, "I will scratch it!" they gave him a hatchet,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of the Dee.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Lucca,
+    Whose lovers completely forsook her;
+    She ran up a tree, and said "Fiddle-de-dee!"
+    Which embarrassed the people of Lucca.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Coblenz,
+    The length of whose legs was immense;
+    He went with one prance from Turkey to France,
+    That surprising Old Man of Coblenz.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Bohemia,
+    Whose daughter was christened Euphemia;
+    But one day, to his grief, she married a thief,
+    Which grieved that Old Man of Bohemia.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Corfu,
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he rushed up and down, till the sun made him brown,
+    That bewildered Old Man of Corfu.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Vesuvius,
+    Who studied the works of Vitruvius;
+    When the flames burnt his book, to drinking he took,
+    That morbid Old Man of Vesuvius.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Dundee,
+    Who frequented the top of a tree;
+    When disturbed by the Crows, he abruptly arose,
+    And exclaimed, "I'll return to Dundee!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady whose folly
+    Induced her to sit in a holly;
+    Whereon, by a thorn her dress being torn,
+    She quickly became melancholy.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on some rocks,
+    Who shut his Wife up in a box:
+    When she said, "Let me out," he exclaimed, "Without doubt
+    You will pass all your life in that box."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Rheims,
+    Who was troubled with horrible dreams;
+    So to keep him awake they fed him with cake,
+    Which amused that Old Person of Rheims.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Leghorn,
+    The smallest that ever was born;
+    But quickly snapt up he was once by a Puppy,
+    Who devoured that Old Man of Leghorn.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a pew,
+    Whose waistcoat was spotted with blue;
+    But he tore it in pieces, to give to his Nieces,
+    That cheerful Old Man in a pew.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Jamaica,
+    Who suddenly married a Quaker;
+    But she cried out, "Oh, lack! I have married a black!"
+    Which distressed that Old Man of Jamaica.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "How
+    Shall I flee from this horrible Cow?
+    I will sit on this stile, and continue to smile,
+    Which may soften the heart of that Cow."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Troy,
+    Whom several large flies did annoy;
+    Some she killed with a thump, some she drowned at the pump,
+    And some she took with her to Troy.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Hull,
+    Who was chased by a virulent Bull;
+    But she seized on a spade, and called out, "Who's afraid?"
+    Which distracted that virulent Bull.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Dutton,
+    Whose head was as small as a button;
+    So to make it look big he purchased a wig,
+    And rapidly rushed about Dutton.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Hush!
+    I perceive a young bird in this bush!"
+    When they said, "Is it small?" he replied, "Not at all;
+    It is four times as big as the bush!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Russia,
+    Who screamed so that no one could hush her;
+    Her screams were extreme,--no one heard such a scream
+    As was screamed by that Lady of Russia.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Tyre,
+    Who swept the loud chords of a lyre;
+    At the sound of each sweep she enraptured the deep,
+    And enchanted the city of Tyre.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Bangor,
+    Whose face was distorted with anger;
+    He tore off his boots, and subsisted on roots,
+    That borascible Person of Bangor.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the East,
+    Who gave all his children a feast;
+    But they all ate so much, and their conduct was such,
+    That it killed that Old Man of the East.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Coast,
+    Who placidly sat on a post;
+    But when it was cold he relinquished his hold,
+    And called for some hot buttered toast.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Kamschatka,
+    Who possessed a remarkably fat Cur;
+    His gait and his waddle were held as a model
+    To all the fat dogs in Kamschatka.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Gretna,
+    Who rushed down the crater of Etna;
+    When they said, "Is it hot?" he replied, "No, it's not!"
+    That mendacious Old Person of Gretna.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who sat on a Horse when he reared;
+    But they said, "Never mind! you will fall off behind,
+    You propitious Old Man with a beard!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Berlin,
+    Whose form was uncommonly thin;
+    Till he once, by mistake, was mixed up in a cake,
+    So they baked that Old Man of Berlin.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the West,
+    Who never could get any rest;
+    So they set him to spin on his nose and his chin,
+    Which cured that Old Man of the West.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Cheadle
+    Was put in the stocks by the Beadle
+    For stealing some pigs, some coats, and some wigs,
+    That horrible person of Cheadle.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Anerley,
+    Whose conduct was strange and unmannerly;
+    He rushed down the Strand with a Pig in each hand,
+    But returned in the evening to Anerley.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Wales,
+    Who caught a large Fish without scales;
+    When she lifted her hook, she exclaimed, "Only look!"
+    That ecstatic Young Lady of Wales.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Welling,
+    Whose praise all the world was a-telling;
+    She played on the harp, and caught several Carp,
+    That accomplished Young Lady of Welling.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Tartary,
+    Who divided his jugular artery;
+    But he screeched to his Wife, and she said, "Oh, my life!
+    Your death will be felt by all Tartary!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Whitehaven,
+    Who danced a quadrille with a Raven;
+    But they said, "It's absurd to encourage this bird!"
+    So they smashed that Old Man of Whitehaven.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Sweden,
+    Who went by the slow train to Weedon;
+    When they cried, "Weedon Station!" she made no observation,
+    But thought she should go back to Sweden.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Chester,
+    Whom several small children did pester;
+    They threw some large stones, which broke most of his bones,
+    And displeased that Old Person of Chester.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Cape,
+    Who possessed a large Barbary Ape;
+    Till the Ape, one dark night, set the house all alight,
+    Which burned that Old Man of the Cape.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Burton,
+    Whose answers were rather uncertain;
+    When they said, "How d' ye do?" he replied, "Who are you?"
+    That distressing Old Person of Burton.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ems
+    Who casually fell in the Thames;
+    And when he was found, they said he was drowned,
+    That unlucky Old Person of Ems.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Girl of Majorca,
+    Whose Aunt was a very fast walker;
+    She walked seventy miles, and leaped fifteen stiles,
+    Which astonished that Girl of Majorca.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Poole,
+    Whose soup was excessively cool;
+    So she put it to boil by the aid of some oil,
+    That ingenious Young Lady of Poole.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Lady of Prague,
+    Whose language was horribly vague;
+    When they said, "Are these caps?" she answered, "Perhaps!"
+    That oracular Lady of Prague.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Parma,
+    Whose conduct grew calmer and calmer:
+    When they said, "Are you dumb?" she merely said, "Hum!"
+    That provoking Young Lady of Parma.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Sparta,
+    Who had twenty-five sons and one "darter;"
+    He fed them on Snails, and weighed them in scales,
+    That wonderful Person of Sparta.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man on whose nose
+    Most birds of the air could repose;
+    But they all flew away at the closing of day,
+    Which relieved that Old Man and his nose.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Turkey,
+    Who wept when the weather was murky;
+    When the day turned out fine, she ceased to repine,
+    That capricious Young Lady of Turkey.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Aôsta
+    Who possessed a large Cow, but he lost her;
+    But they said, "Don't you see she has run up a tree,
+    You invidious Old Man of Aôsta?"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Person of Crete,
+    Whose toilette was far from complete;
+    She dressed in a sack spickle-speckled with black,
+    That ombliferous Person of Crete.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Clare,
+    Who was madly pursued by a Bear;
+    When she found she was tired, she abruptly expired,
+    That unfortunate Lady of Clare.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Dorking,
+    Who bought a large bonnet for walking;
+    But its color and size so bedazzled her eyes,
+    That she very soon went back to Dorking.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Cape Horn,
+    Who wished he had never been born;
+    So he sat on a Chair till he died of despair,
+    That dolorous Man of Cape Horn.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an old Person of Cromer,
+    Who stood on one leg to read Homer;
+    When he found he grew stiff, he jumped over the cliff,
+    Which concluded that Person of Cromer.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of the Hague,
+    Whose ideas were excessively vague;
+    He built a balloon to examine the moon,
+    That deluded Old Man of the Hague.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Spain,
+    Who hated all trouble and pain;
+    So he sate on a chair with his feet in the air,
+    That umbrageous Old Person of Spain.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man who said, "Well!
+    Will _nobody_ answer this bell?
+    I have pulled day and night, till my hair has grown white,
+    But nobody answers this bell!"
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with an Owl,
+    Who continued to bother and howl;
+    He sat on a rail, and imbibed bitter ale,
+    Which refreshed that Old Man and his Owl.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man in a casement,
+    Who held up his hands in amazement;
+    When they said, "Sir, you'll fall!" he replied, "Not at all!"
+    That incipient Old Man in a casement.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Person of Ewell,
+    Who chiefly subsisted on gruel;
+    But to make it more nice, he inserted some Mice,
+    Which refreshed that Old Person of Ewell.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man of Peru.
+    Who never knew what he should do;
+    So he tore off his hair, and behaved like a bear,
+    That intrinsic Old Man of Peru.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was an Old Man with a beard,
+    Who said, "It is just as I feared!--
+    Two Owls and a Hen, four Larks and a Wren,
+    Have all built their nests in my beard."
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose eyes
+    Were unique as to color and size;
+    When she opened them wide, people all turned aside,
+    And started away in surprise.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady of Ryde,
+    Whose shoe-strings were seldom untied;
+    She purchased some clogs, and some small spotty Dogs,
+    And frequently walked about Ryde.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+    There was a Young Lady whose bonnet
+    Came untied when the birds sate upon it;
+    But she said, "I don't care! all the birds in the air
+    Are welcome to sit on my bonnet!"
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13646 ***