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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13645 ***
+
+#THE TATLER#
+
+Edited with Introduction & Notes by #George A. Aitken#
+
+_Author of_ "The Life of Richard Steele," Etc.
+
+Vol. I
+
+New York
+Hadley & Mathews
+156 Fifth Avenue
+London: Duckworth & Co.
+1899
+
+
+
+Preface
+
+_The original numbers of the _Tatler_ were reissued in two forms in
+1710-11; one edition, in octavo, being published by subscription, while
+the other, in duodecimo, was for the general public. The present edition
+has been printed from a copy of the latter issue, which, as recorded on
+the title-page, was "revised and corrected by the Author"; but I have
+had by my side, for constant reference, a complete set of the folio
+sheets, containing the "Lucubrations of Isaac Bickerstaff" in the form
+in which they were first presented to the world. Scrupulous accuracy in
+the text has been aimed at, but the eccentricities of spelling--which
+were the printer's, not the author's--have not been preserved, and the
+punctuation has occasionally been corrected.
+
+The first and the most valuable of the annotated editions of the
+_Tatler_ was published by John Nichols and others in 1786, with notes by
+Dr. Percy, Bishop of Dromore, Dr. John Calder, and Dr. Pearce, Bishop
+of Rochester; and though these notes are often irrelevant and out of
+date, they contain an immense amount of information, and have been
+freely made use of by subsequent editors. I have endeavoured to preserve
+what is of value in the older editions, and to supplement it, as
+concisely as possible, by such further information as appeared
+desirable. The eighteenth-century diaries and letters published of late
+years have in many cases enabled me to throw light on passages which
+have hitherto been obscure, and sometimes useful illustrations have been
+found in the contemporary newspapers and periodicals.
+
+The portraits of Steele, Addison, and Swift, the writers most associated
+with the _Tatler_, have been taken from contemporary engravings in the
+British Museum; and the imaginary portrait of Isaac Bickerstaff in the
+last volume is from a rare picture drawn by Lens in 1710 as a
+frontispiece to collections of the original folio numbers._
+
+G. A. A.
+
+_August 1898._
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+When the first number of the _Tatler_ appeared in 1709, Steele and
+Addison were about thirty-seven years of age, while Swift, then still
+counted among the Whigs, was more than four years their senior. Addison
+and Steele had been friends at the Charterhouse School and at Oxford,
+and though they had during the following years had varying experiences,
+their friendship had in no way lessened. Addison had been a fellow of
+his college, had gained the patronage of Charles Montague and Lord
+Somers, had made the grand tour, and published an account of his
+travels; had gained popularity by his poem "The Campaign," written in
+celebration of the victory at Blenheim; had been made an Under-Secretary
+of State, and finally (in December 1708) had been appointed secretary to
+Lord Wharton, the Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. Steele, on the other hand,
+had enlisted in the Guards, without taking any degree; had obtained an
+ensign's commission after dedicating to Lord Cutts a poem on Queen
+Mary's death; and had written a little book called "The Christian Hero,"
+designed "to fix upon his own mind a strong impression of virtue and
+religion, in opposition to a stronger propensity towards unwarrantable
+pleasures." At the close of the same year (1701) he brought out a
+successful comedy, "The Funeral," which was followed by "The Lying
+Lover" and "The Tender Husband," plays which gave strong evidence of the
+influence of Jeremy Collier's attack on the immorality of the stage.
+"The Tender Husband" owed "many applauded strokes" to Addison, to whom
+it was dedicated by Steele, who wished "to show the esteem I have for
+you, and that I look upon my intimacy with you as one of the most
+valuable enjoyments of my life." In 1705 Steele married a lady with
+property in Barbados, and on her death married, in 1707, Mary Scurlock,
+the "dear Prue" to whom he addressed his well-known letters. For the
+rest, he had been made gentleman-waiter to Prince George of Denmark, and
+appointed Gazetteer, with a salary of £300, less a tax of £45 a year. He
+was disappointed in his hopes of obtaining the Under-Secretaryship
+vacated by Addison.
+
+From 1705 onwards there is evidence of frequent and familiar intercourse
+between Swift and Addison and Steele. After Sir William Temple's death,
+Swift had become chaplain to the Earl of Berkeley, who gave him the
+living of Laracor; and during a visit to England in 1704 he had gained a
+position in the front rank of authors by the "Tale of a Tub" and the
+"Battle of the Books." At the close of 1707 he was again in England,
+charged with a mission to obtain for the Irish clergy the remission of
+First Fruits and Tenths already conceded to the English, and throughout
+1708 what he calls "the triumvirate of Addison, Steele and me" were in
+constant communication. In that year Swift published a pamphlet called
+"A Project for the Advancement of Religion and the Reformation of
+Manners," which anticipated many of the arguments used in the _Tatler_
+and _Spectator_; and he also commenced his attack on John Partridge,
+quack doctor and maker of astrological almanacs. On the appearance of
+Partridge's "Merlinus Liberatus" for 1708, Swift--borrowing a name from
+the signboard of a shoemaker--published "Predictions for the year 1708,
+wherein the month and day of the month are set down, the persons named,
+and the great actions and events of next year particularly related, as
+they will come to pass. Written to prevent the people of England from
+being further imposed on by vulgar almanack-makers. By Isaac
+Bickerstaff, Esq." Isaac Bickerstaff professed to be a true astrologer,
+disgusted at the lies told by impostors, and he said that he was willing
+to be hooted at as a cheat if his prophecies were not exactly fulfilled.
+His first prediction was that Partridge would die on the 29th of March;
+and on the 30th a second pamphlet was published, "The accomplishment of
+the first of Mr. Bickerstaff's Predictions ... in a letter to a person
+of quality, in which a detailed account is given of Partridge's death,
+at five minutes after seven, by which it is clear that Mr. Bickerstaff
+was mistaken almost four hours in his calculation.... Whether he had
+been the cause of this poor man's death, as well as the predictor, may
+be very reasonably disputed." The joke was maintained by Swift and
+others in various pieces, and when Partridge, in his almanac for 1709,
+protested that he was still living, Swift replied, in "A Vindication of
+Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq.," which was advertised in the fifth number of
+the _Tatler_, that he could prove that Partridge was not alive; for no
+one living could have written such rubbish as the new almanac. In
+starting his new paper Steele assumed the name of the astrologer Isaac
+Bickerstaff, rendered famous by Swift, and made frequent use of Swift's
+leading idea. He himself summed up the controversy in the words, "if a
+man's art is gone, the man is gone, though his body still appear."
+
+Much has been written on the interesting question of the early history
+of the periodical press; but with one exception none of its predecessors
+had much effect on the _Tatler_. John Dunton's _Athenian Mercury_ was
+the forerunner of our _Notes and Queries_; and it was followed by the
+_British Apollo_ (1708-11), the second title of which was "Curious
+Amusements for the Ingenious. To which are added the most Material
+Occurrences, Foreign and Domestic. Performed by a Society of Gentlemen."
+_The Gentleman's Journal_ of 1692-4, a monthly paper of poems and other
+miscellaneous matter, was succeeded, in 1707, by Oldmixon's _Muses'
+Mercury; or, The Monthly Miscellany_, a periodical which contained also
+notices of new plays and books, and numbered Steele among its
+contributors. Defoe's _Review_, begun in 1704, aimed at setting the
+affairs of Europe in a clearer light, regardless of party; but, added
+Defoe, "After our serious matters are over, we shall at the end of every
+paper present you with a little diversion, as anything occurs to make
+the world merry; and whether friend or foe, one party or another, if
+anything happens so scandalous as to require an open reproof, the world
+will meet with it there." Accordingly, of the eight pages in the first
+number, one and a half pages consist of "Mercure Scandale; or, Advice
+from the Scandalous Club, Translated out of French." The censure was to
+be of the actions of men, not of parties; and the design was to expose
+not persons but things. A monthly supplement, dealing with "the
+immediate subject then on the tongues of the town," was begun in
+September 1704; and pressure on the space before long pushed the Advices
+from the Scandal Club out of the ordinary issue of the _Review_.
+Subsequently Defoe wrote more than once in praise of the way in which
+his work had been taken up by Isaac Bickerstaff.
+
+Probably the _Tatler_ was started by Steele without any very definite
+designs for the future. According to the first number, published on
+April 12, 1709, the aim was to instruct the public what to think, after
+their reading, and there was to be something for the entertainment of
+the fair sex. The numbers were published three times a week, on the
+post-days, at the price of one penny. Each paper consisted of a single
+folio sheet, and the first four were distributed gratuitously. Steele
+probably thought that his position of Gazetteer would enable him to give
+the latest news, and he says that these paragraphs brought in a
+multitude of readers; but as the position of the _Tatler_ became
+established, the need for the support of these items of news grew less,
+and after the first eighty numbers they are of rare occurrence. Quite
+early in the career of the paper Addison, speaking of the distress which
+would be caused among the news-writers by the conclusion of a peace,
+said that Bickerstaff was not personally concerned in the matter; "for
+as my chief scenes of action are coffee-houses, playhouses, and my own
+apartment, I am in no need of camps, fortifications, and fields of
+battle to support me.... I shall still be safe as long as there are men
+or women, or politicians, or lovers, or poets, or nymphs, or swains, or
+cits, or courtiers in being."[1]
+
+The subject of each article was to be indicated by the name of the
+coffee-house or other place from which it was supposed to come: "All
+accounts of gallantry, pleasure, and entertainment shall be under the
+article of White's Chocolate-house; Poetry, under that of Will's
+Coffee-house; Learning, under the title of Grecian; Foreign and Domestic
+News you will have from Saint James's Coffee-house; and what else I have
+to offer on any other subject shall be dated from my own Apartment." For
+some time each number contained short papers from all or several of
+these places; but gradually it became usual to devote the whole number
+to one topic. The motto of the first forty numbers was "Quicquid agunt
+homines ... nostri farrago libelli"; but in the following numbers it was
+changed to "Celebrare domestica facta"; and afterwards each number
+generally had a quotation bearing upon the subject of the day. Writing
+some time after the commencement of the fatter, Steele said, in the
+Dedication prefixed to the first volume, "The general purpose of this
+paper is to expose the false arts of life, to pull off the disguises of
+cunning, vanity, and affectation, and to recommend a general simplicity
+in our dress, our discourse, and our behaviour." And elsewhere he says:
+"As for my labours, which he is pleased to inquire after, if they but
+wear one impertinence out of human life, destroy a single vice, or give
+a morning's cheerfulness to an honest mind; in short, if the world can
+be but one virtue the better, or in any degree less vicious, or receive
+from them the smallest addition to their innocent diversions; I shall
+not think my pains, or indeed my life, to have been spent in vain."[2]
+At the close, speaking in his own name, Steele wrote: "The general
+purpose of the whole has been to recommend truth, innocence, honour, and
+virtue, as the chief ornaments of life; but I considered, that severity
+of manners was absolutely necessary to him who would censure others, and
+for that reason, and that only, chose to talk in a mask. I shall not
+carry my humility so far as to call myself a vicious man, but at the
+same time must confess my life is at best but pardonable."[3]
+
+With his usual generosity, Steele more than once spoke in the warmest
+terms of the assistance rendered to him by Addison. In the preface to
+the collected edition he said: "I have only one gentleman, who will be
+nameless, to thank for any frequent assistance to me, which indeed it
+would have been barbarous in him to have denied to one with whom he had
+lived in an intimacy from childhood, considering the great ease with
+which he is able to despatch the most entertaining pieces of this
+nature. This good office he performed with such force of genius, humour,
+wit, and learning that I fared like a distressed prince, who calls in a
+powerful neighbour to his aid; I was undone by my auxiliary; when I had
+called him in I could not subsist without dependence on him." And in
+1722, after Addison's death, in a preface to his friend's play, "The
+Drummer," Steele wrote of the _Tatler_, "That paper was advanced indeed!
+for it was raised to a greater thing than I intended it! For the
+elegance, purity, and correctness which appeared in his writings were
+not so much my purpose, as (in any intelligible manner, as I could) to
+rally all those singularities of human life, through the different
+professions and characters in it, which obstruct anything that was truly
+good and great."
+
+It is only fair to Steele to point out that the original idea of the
+_Tatler_ was entirely his own, and that he alone was responsible for the
+regular supply of material. Addison was in Ireland when the paper was
+begun, and did not know who was the author until several numbers had
+appeared. His occasional contributions were of little importance until
+after eighty numbers had been published; and of the whole 271 numbers
+Steele wrote about 188 and Addison only 42, while they were jointly
+responsible for 36. Swift contributed only to about a dozen numbers; and
+the assistance received from other writers was so slight that it does
+not call for notice here. Steele, unlike Addison, was probably at his
+best in the _Tatler_, where he had a freer hand, and described, in a
+perfectly fresh and unaffected style, the impressions of the moment.
+Hastily composed in coffee-house or printing-office, as they often were,
+and at very short notice, his papers frequently appeal to the reader of
+the present day more than the carefully elaborated and highly finished
+work of his friend, who wrote only when he found a suitable topic. And
+if Addison's art is of a higher standard than Steele's, it is to Steele
+that we owe Addison. A minor poet and the author of a book of travels
+and of an unsuccessful opera, Addison found no opportunity for his
+peculiar genius until his friend provided the means in the _Tatler_. It
+is tolerably certain that he would himself never have taken the
+necessary step of founding a periodical appealing to the general public;
+and Steele himself said with perfect truth, "I claim to myself the merit
+of having extorted excellent productions from a person of the greatest
+abilities, who would not have let them appear by any other means."[4]
+
+If more is said here of Steele than of Addison, it is because it is
+Steele whose name is most intimately connected with the _Tatler_. The
+field in which Addison shone brightest was the _Spectator_, where the
+whole plan was arranged in the manner best suited to his genius. But his
+influence is, nevertheless, visible in the development of the earlier
+paper, and some of his individual articles are equal to anything he
+afterwards wrote. It is only necessary to mention his papers on the
+Distress of the News-Writers[5]; on the poetaster, Ned Softly[6]; on the
+pedant and "broker in learning," Tom Folio[7]; on the Political
+Upholsterer, who was more inquisitive to know what passed in Poland than
+in his own family[8]; and on the Adventures of a Shilling.[9] His, too,
+are the Vision of Justice[10]; the story of a dream;[11] and the amusing
+account of the visit to London of Sir Harry Quickset, who, with his
+old-world breeding, was the forerunner of Sir Roger de Coverley.[12]
+
+Unlike the members of the Spectator's Club, the _dramatis personæ_
+introduced in the _Tatler_ do not occupy a very prominent place in
+the development of the work. Isaac Bickerstaff himself, an old man of
+sixty-four, "a philosopher, an humourist, an astrologer, and a censor,"
+is rather vaguely sketched, and his familiar, Pacolet, is made use of
+chiefly in the earlier numbers. The occasional references to Bickerstaff's
+half-sister, Jenny Distaff,[13] and her husband, Tanquillus, and to his
+three nephews and their conduct in the presence of a "beautiful woman of
+honour,"[14] gave Steele a framework for some charming sketches of
+domestic life. It is not until No. 132 that we have the amusing account
+of the members of Bickerstaff's Club, the Trumpet, in Shire Lane. There
+were Sir Geoffrey Notch, a gentleman of an ancient family, who had
+wasted his estate in his youth, and called every thriving man a pitiful
+upstart; Major Matchlock, with his reminiscences of the Civil War; Dick
+Reptile, and the Bencher who was always praising the wit of former days,
+and telling stories of Jack Ogle, with whom he pretended to have been
+intimate in his youth. Very little use was afterwards made of this
+promising material.
+
+The poet John Gay has given an excellent account of the work
+accomplished by Steele and Addison in a pamphlet called "The Present
+State of Wit" (1711). Speaking of the discontinuance of the _Tatler_, he
+says: "His disappearing seemed to be bewailed as some general calamity:
+every one wanted so agreeable an amusement; and the coffee-houses began
+to be sensible that the Esquire's Lucubrations alone had brought them
+more customers than all their other newspapers put together. It must,
+indeed, be confessed that never man threw up his pen under stronger
+temptations to have employed it longer; his reputation was at a greater
+height than, I believe, ever any living author's was before him....
+There is this noble difference between him and all the rest of our
+polite and gallant authors: the latter have endeavoured to please the
+age by falling in with them, and encouraging them in their fashionable
+vices and false notions of things. It would have been a jest some time
+since, for a man to have asserted that anything witty could be said in
+praise of a married state; or that devotion and virtue were any way
+necessary to the character of a fine gentleman. Bickerstaff ventured to
+tell the town that they were a parcel of fops, fools, and vain
+coquettes; but in such a manner as even pleased them, and made them more
+than half inclined to believe that he spoke truth. Instead of complying
+with the false sentiments or vicious tastes of the age, either in
+morality, criticism, or good breeding, he has boldly assured them that
+they were altogether in the wrong, and commanded them, with an authority
+which perfectly well became him, to surrender themselves to his
+arguments for virtue and good sense.
+
+"It is incredible to conceive the effect his writings have had on the
+town; how many thousand follies they have either quite banished, or
+given a very great check to; how much countenance they have added to
+virtue and religion; how many people they have rendered happy, by
+showing them it was their own fault if they were not so; and, lastly,
+how entirely they have convinced our fops and young fellows of the value
+and advantages of learning. He has indeed rescued it out of the hands of
+pedants and fools, and discovered the true method of making it amiable
+and lovely to all mankind. In the dress he gives it, it is a most
+welcome guest at tea-tables and assemblies, and is relished and caressed
+by the merchants on the 'Change; accordingly, there is not a lady at
+Court, nor a banker in Lombard Street, who is not verily persuaded that
+Captain Steele is the greatest scholar and best casuist of any man in
+England.
+
+"Lastly, his writings have set all our wits and men of letters upon a
+new way of thinking, of which they had little or no notion before; and
+though we cannot yet say that any of them have come up to the beauties
+of the original, I think we may venture to affirm that every one of them
+writes and thinks much more justly than they did some time since."
+
+Gay's opinion has been confirmed by the best judges of nearly two
+centuries, and there is no need to labour the question of the wit and
+wisdom of the _Tatler_. But some examples may be cited in illustration
+of the topics on which Steele and his friends wrote, and the manner in
+which they dealt with them. The very first numbers contained
+illustrations of most of what were to be the characteristics of the
+paper. There is the account of the very pretty gentleman at White's
+Chocolate-house thrown into a sad condition by a passing vision of a
+young lady; the notice of Betterton's benefit performance; the comments
+on the war; the campaign against Partridge, with the declaration that
+all who were good for nothing would be included among the deceased; the
+discussion on the morality of the stage, with praise of Mrs. Bicknell
+and reproaches upon a young nobleman who came drunk to the play; the
+comparison of the rival beauties, Chloe and Clarissa; the satire on the
+Italian opera, and on Pinkethman's company of strollers; and the
+allegorical paper on Fælicia, or Britain. All these and other matters
+are dealt with in the four numbers which were distributed gratuitously;
+as the work progressed the principal change, besides the disappearance
+of the paragraphs of news, was the development of the sustained essay on
+morals or manners, and the less frequent indulgence in satire upon
+individual offenders, and in personal allusions in general. This change
+seems to have been the result partly of design, and partly of
+circumstances, including Addison's influence on the work. Steele himself
+said, as we have seen, that the _Tatler_ was raised to a greater height
+than he had designed; but no doubt he realised that he must feel his
+way, and be at first a tatler rather than a preacher. After some grave
+remarks about duelling in an early paper (No. 26), he makes Pacolet,
+Bickerstaff's familiar, say, "It was too soon to give my discourse on
+this subject so serious a turn; you have chiefly to do with that part of
+mankind which must be led into reflection by degrees, and you must treat
+this custom with humour and raillery to get an audience, before you come
+to pronounce sentence upon it."
+
+Follies and weaknesses are ridiculed in the _Tatler_ in a genial
+spirit, by one who was fully alive to his own imperfections, and point
+is usually given to the papers by a sketch of some veiled or imaginary
+individual. In this way Bickerstaff treats of fops,[15] of wags,[16] of
+coquettes,[17] of the lady who condemned the vice of the age, meaning
+the only vice of which she was not guilty;[18] of impudence;[19] and of
+pride and vanity.[20] In a graver tone he attacks the practice of
+duelling;[21] gamesters and sharpers;[22] drunken "roarers" and
+"scowrers";[23] and brutal pastimes at the Bear Garden and
+elsewhere.[24] The campaign against swindlers exposed Steele to serious
+threats on more than one occasion.[25]
+
+Of what Coleridge called Steele's "pure humanity" there is nowhere
+better evidence than in the _Tatler_. It is enough to cite once more the
+well-known examples of the account of his father's death and his
+mother's grief;[26] the stories of Unnion and Valentine,[27] of the
+Cornish lovers,[28] of Clarinda and Chloe,[29] and of Mr. Eustace,[30]
+and the charming account of the married happiness of an old friend, with
+the pathetic picture of the death of the wife, and the grief of husband
+and children.[31] In the last number Steele said, "It has been a most
+exquisite pleasure to me to frame characters of domestic life"; and we
+know from his letters that when he wrote of children he was only
+expressing the deep affection which he felt for his own. Equally in
+advance of his time was his respect for women, one of whom--Lady
+Elizabeth Hastings--he has immortalised in the words, "To love her is a
+liberal education."[32] In the same number he wrote, "As charity is
+esteemed a conjunction of the good qualities necessary to a virtuous
+man, so love is the happy composition of all the accomplishments that
+make a fine gentleman." In a time of much laxity he constantly dwelt on
+the happiness of marriage; "wife is the most amiable term in human
+life."[33] But good nature must be cultivated if the married life is to
+be happy,[34] and all unnecessary provocations avoided. "Dear Jenny,"
+says Bickerstaff to his sister, "remember me, and avoid
+Snap-Dragon."[35] Women must be rightly educated before they can expect
+to be treated by, and to influence men as they should.[36] The make of
+the mind greatly contributes to the ornament of the body; "there is so
+immediate a relation between our thoughts and gestures that a woman must
+think well to look well."[37] The habit of scandal-mongering and other
+weaknesses are the result of an improper training of the mind.[38] "All
+women especially," says Thackeray, "are bound to be grateful to Steele,
+as he was the first of our writers who really seemed to admire and
+respect them." His pity extended to the hunted deer: "I have more than
+once rode off at the death," he says; "to be apt to shed tears is a sign
+of a great as well as a little spirit."[39]
+
+Steele's teaching on morals and right living enters intimately into his
+literary criticism. His love for Shakespeare was real and intelligent;
+there is no formal discussion of the rules of the drama, but throughout
+the _Tatler_ there are references which show the keenest appreciation
+of Shakespeare's powers as poet and philosopher. "The vitiated tastes of
+the audience at the theatre could only be amended," says Steele, "by
+encouraging the representation of the noble characters drawn by
+Shakespeare and others, from whence it is impossible to return without
+strong impressions of honour and humanity. On these occasions, distress
+is laid before us with all its causes and consequences, and our
+resentment placed according to the merit of the persons afflicted. Were
+dramas of this nature more acceptable to the taste of the town, men who
+have genius would bend their studies to excel in them."[40] Still more
+remarkable are the allusions to "Paradise Lost," for Milton was then even
+less appreciated than Shakespeare. As in so many other things, Addison's
+more elaborate criticism in the _Spectator_ was foreshadowed in the
+_Tatler_ by Steele; and the comparison of passages by Milton and
+Dryden[41] must have been very striking to the reader of that time, who
+usually knew Shakespeare or Chaucer only through the adaptations of Dryden
+or Tate.
+
+Though it is not true, as some have represented, that the _Tatler_ is
+for the most part a mere society journal, concerned chiefly with the
+gossip of the day, yet its contributors made use of the scenes and
+events familiar to their readers in order to bring home the kindly
+lessons they wished to teach; and in so doing they have given us a
+picture of the daily life of the town which would alone have given
+lasting interest to the paper. The distinctly "moral" papers have had
+countless imitators, and sometimes therefore they are apt to pall upon
+us, but the social articles are at least as interesting now as when they
+were written, and one of the reasons why some excellent judges have
+prefered the _Tatler_ to the _Spectator_, is that there is a greater
+proportion of these gossiping papers, combining wisdom with satire, and
+bringing before us as in a mirror the London of Queen Anne's day.
+Bickerstaff takes us from club to coffee-house, from St. James's to the
+Exchange; we see the poets and wits at Will's, the politicians at
+White's, the merchants at Garraway's, the Templars at the Smyrna; we see
+Betterton and the rest on the stage, and the ladies and gentlemen in the
+front or side boxes; we see Pinkethman's players at Greenwich, Powell's
+puppet-show, Don Saltero's Museum at Chelsea, and the bear-baiting and
+prize-fights at Hockley-in-the-Hole. We are taken to the Mall at St.
+James's, or the Ring in Hyde Park, and we study the fine ladies and the
+beaux, with their red heels and their amber-headed canes suspended from
+their waistcoats; or we follow them to Charles Lillie's, the perfumer,
+or to Mather's toy-shop, or to Motteux's china warehouse; or to the
+shops in the New Exchange, where the men bought trifles and ogled the
+attendants. Or yet again we watch the exposure of the sharpers and
+bullies, and the denunciation of others who brought even greater ruin on
+those who fell into their clutches. We see the worshipping and the
+flirtations in the church, with Smalridge and Atterbury, Hoadly and
+Blackall among the preachers, and hear something of the controversies
+between High and Low Church, Whig and Tory. We hear, too, of the war
+with France, and of the hopes of peace. Steele tells us not only of
+Marlborough and Prince Eugene, but of privates and non-commissioned
+officers, of their lives and tragedies, of their comrades and friends.
+All Sergeant Hall knew of the battle was that he wished there had not
+been so many killed; he had himself a very bad shot in the head, but
+would recover, if it pleased God. "To me," says Steele, recalling his
+own service as a trooper, "I take the gallantry of private soldiers to
+proceed from the same, if not from a nobler impulse than that of
+gentlemen and officers.... Sergeant Hall would die ten thousand deaths
+rather than a word should be spoken at the Red Lattice, or any part of
+the Butcher Row, in prejudice to his courage or honesty." His letter to
+his friend was "the picture of the bravest sort of man, that is to say,
+a man of great courage and small hopes."[42]
+
+Something must be said of the events of 1710, which led to the
+discontinuance of the _Tatler_. The trial of Dr. Sacheverell in March
+was followed by the fall of the Whigs in the autumn; and in October
+Steele lost his post of Gazetteer. Swift says it was "for writing a
+_Tatler_ some months ago, against Mr. Harley, who gave him the post at
+first." There was a growing coldness between Swift and his old friends,
+and on the 3rd of November Swift wrote, "We have scurvy _Tatlers_ of
+late, so pray do not suspect me." On the preceding day Swift's first
+paper in the Tory _Examiner_ had been published. He still met Steele
+from time to time, and he says that he interceded for him with Harley,
+but was frustrated by Addison. However this may be, it is certain that
+Harley saw Steele, and that as the result of their interview Steele
+retained his post as Commissioner of the Stamp Office, and brought the
+_Tatler_ to a close on January 2, 1711, without consulting Addison. "To
+say the truth, it was time," says Swift; "for he grew cruel dull and
+dry." It is true that there is a falling off towards the close of the
+_Tatler_, but that it was not want of matter that brought about the
+abandonment of the paper is proved by the commencement only two months
+later of the _Spectator_. Steele himself said that on many accounts it
+had become an irksome task to personate Mr. Bickerstaff any longer; he
+had in some places touched upon matters concerning Church and State, and
+he could not be cold enough to conceal his opinions. Gay tells us, in
+"The Present State of Wit," that the town being generally of opinion
+that Steele was quite spent as regards matter, was the more surprised
+when the _Spectator_ appeared; people were therefore driven to accept
+the alternative view that the _Tatler_ was laid down "as a sort of
+submission to, or composition with, the Government for some past
+offences."
+
+Excellent testimony to the immediate popularity of the _Tatler_ is
+furnished by the fact that its successive numbers were reprinted in
+Dublin and in Edinburgh. At least sixty-nine numbers of the Dublin
+issue, in quarto, were printed. The Scottish re-issue was a folio sheet,
+commenced about February 1710, and continued until the close of the
+paper. The date of each number of the Edinburgh paper--"printed by
+James Watson, and sold at his shop next door to the Red Lion, opposite
+to the Lucken Booths"--is five or six days later than that of the
+original issue; it was evidently worked off as soon as the London post
+came in. Other evidence of the popularity of the _Tatler_ in the
+provinces is afforded by the foundation of the "Gentleman's Society" at
+Spalding. Maurice Johnson, a native of Spalding and a member of the
+Inner Temple, gives this account of the matter: "In April 1709, that
+great genius Captain Richard Steele ... published the _Tatlers_, which,
+as they came out in half-sheets, were taken in by a gentleman, who
+communicated them to his acquaintances at the coffee-house then in the
+Abbey Yard; and these papers being universally approved as both
+instructive and entertaining, they ordered them to be sent down thither,
+with the Gazettes and Votes, for which they paid out of charity to the
+person who kept the coffee-house, and they were accordingly had and read
+there every post-day, generally aloud to the company, who would sit and
+talk over the subject afterwards. This insensibly drew the men of sense
+and letters into a sociable way of conversing, and continued the next
+year, 1710, until the publication of these papers desisted, which was in
+December, to their great regret." Afterwards the _Spectator_ was taken
+in, and a regular society was started in 1712, by the encouragement of
+Addison, Steele, and other members of Button's Club.
+
+One indication of the popularity of the _Tatler_ in its own day is the
+long subscription list prefixed to the reprint in four octavo volumes.
+Some copies were printed on "royal," others on "medium" paper; and the
+price of the former was a guinea a volume, while that of the latter was
+half a guinea. There was also an authorised cheap edition, in duodecimo,
+at half a crown a volume, besides a pirated edition at the same price. A
+still more conclusive proof of the success of the _Tatler_ was the
+number of papers started in imitation of its methods. Addison mentioned
+some of those periodicals in No. 229, where details will be found of the
+"Female Tatler," "Tit for Tat," and the like. But besides these, several
+spurious continuations of the _Tatler_ appeared directly after the
+discontinuance of the genuine paper, including one by William Harrison,
+written with Swift's encouragement and assistance. But Harrison, as
+Swift said, had "not the true vein for it," and his paper reached only
+to fifty-two numbers, which were afterwards reprinted as a fifth volume
+to the collected edition of the original _Tatler_. Gay said that
+Steele's imitators seemed to think "that what was only the garnish of
+the former _Tatlers_ was that which recommended them, and not those
+substantial entertainments which they everywhere abound in." The town,
+in the absence of anything better, welcomed their occasional and faint
+endeavours at humour; "but even those are at present become wholly
+invisible, and quite swallowed up in the blaze of the _Spectator_."
+Steele himself said that his imitators held the censorship in
+commission.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 1: No. 18.]
+
+[Footnote 2: No. 89.]
+
+[Footnote 3: No. 271.]
+
+[Footnote 4: _Spectator_, No. 532.]
+
+[Footnote 5: _Tatler_, No. 18.]
+
+[Footnote 6: No. 163.]
+
+[Footnote 7: No. 158.]
+
+[Footnote 8: Nos. 155, 160.]
+
+[Footnote 9: No. 249.]
+
+[Footnote 10: Nos. 100, 102.]
+
+[Footnote 11: No. 117.]
+
+[Footnote 12: No. 86.]
+
+[Footnote 13: No. 10.]
+
+[Footnote 14: No. 30.]
+
+[Footnote 15: No. 142.]
+
+[Footnote 16: No. 184.]
+
+[Footnote 17: No. 27.]
+
+[Footnote 18: No. 210.]
+
+[Footnote 19: No. 168.]
+
+[Footnote 20: Nos. 127, 186.]
+
+[Footnote 21: Nos. 25, 26, 29, 31, 38, 39.]
+
+[Footnote 22: Nos. 56, &c.]
+
+[Footnote 23: Nos. 40, 45.]
+
+[Footnote 24: No. 134.]
+
+[Footnote 25: See Nos. 115, 271.]
+
+[Footnote 26: No. 181.]
+
+[Footnote 27: No. 5.]
+
+[Footnote 28: No. 82.]
+
+[Footnote 29: No. 94.]
+
+[Footnote 30: No. 172.]
+
+[Footnote 31: Nos. 95, 114.]
+
+[Footnote 32: No. 49.]
+
+[Footnote 33: No. 33.]
+
+[Footnote 34: No. 149.]
+
+[Footnote 35: No. 85. See, too, No. 104.]
+
+[Footnote 36: Nos. 141, 248.]
+
+[Footnote 37: No. 212.]
+
+[Footnote 38: Nos, 40, 42, 47.]
+
+[Footnote 39: No. 68.]
+
+[Footnote 40: No. 8.]
+
+[Footnote 41: No. 6.]
+
+[Footnote 42: No. 87.]
+
+
+
+
+THE TATLER
+
+
+
+
+THE PREFACE.[43]
+
+In the last _Tatler_ I promised some explanation of passages and persons
+mentioned in this work, as well as some account of the assistances I
+have had in the performance. I shall do this in very few words; for when
+a man has no design but to speak plain truth, he may say a great deal in
+a very narrow compass. I have in the dedication of the first volume made
+my acknowledgments to Dr. Swift, whose pleasant writings, in the name of
+Bickerstaff, created an inclination in the town towards anything that
+could appear in the same disguise. I must acknowledge also, that at my
+first entering upon this work, a certain uncommon way of thinking, and a
+turn in conversation peculiar to that agreeable gentleman, rendered his
+company very advantageous to one whose imagination was to be continually
+employed upon obvious and common subjects, though at the same time
+obliged to treat of them in a new and unbeaten method. His verses on the
+Shower in Town,[44] and the Description of the Morning,[45] are
+instances of the happiness of that genius, which could raise such
+pleasing ideas upon occasions so barren to an ordinary invention.
+
+When I am upon the house of Bickerstaff, I must not forget that
+genealogy of the family sent to me by the post, and written, as I since
+understand, by Mr. Twysden,[46] who died at the battle of Mons, and has
+a monument in Westminster Abbey, suitable to the respect which is due to
+his wit and his valour. There are through the course of the work very
+many incidents which were written by unknown correspondents. Of this
+kind is the tale in the second _Tatler_, and the epistle from Mr. Downes
+the prompter,[47] with others which were very well received by the
+public. But I have only one gentleman,[48] who will be nameless, to
+thank for any frequent assistance to me, which indeed it would have been
+barbarous in him to have denied to one with whom he has lived in an
+intimacy from childhood, considering the great ease with which he is
+able to dispatch the most entertaining pieces of this nature. This good
+office he performed with such force of genius, humour, wit and learning,
+that I fared like a distressed prince who calls in a powerful neighbour
+to his aid; I was undone by my auxiliary; when I had once called him in,
+I could not subsist without dependence on him.
+
+The same hand writ the distinguishing characters of men and women under
+the names of Musical Instruments, the Distress of the News-writers, the
+Inventory of the Playhouse, and the Description of the Thermometer,[49]
+which I cannot but look upon as the greatest embellishments of this
+work.
+
+Thus far I thought necessary to say relating to the great hands which
+have been concerned in these volumes, with relation to the spirit and
+genius of the work; and am far from pretending to modesty in making this
+acknowledgment. What a man obtains from the good opinion and friendship
+of worthy men, is a much greater honour than he can possibly reap from
+any accomplishments of his own. But all the credit of wit which was
+given me by the gentlemen above mentioned (with whom I have now
+accounted) has not been able to atone for the exceptions made against me
+for some raillery in behalf of that learned advocate for the episcopacy
+of the Church, and the liberty of the people, Mr. Hoadly. I mention this
+only to defend myself against the imputation of being moved rather by
+party than opinion;[50] and I think it is apparent, I have with the
+utmost frankness allowed merit wherever I found it, though joined in
+interests different from those for which I have declared myself. When my
+Favonius[51] is acknowledged to be Dr. Smalridge, and the amiable
+character of the dean in the sixty-sixth _Tatler_ drawn for Dr.
+Atterbury, I hope I need say no more as to my impartiality.
+
+I really have acted in these cases with honesty, and am concerned it
+should be thought otherwise: for wit, if a man had it, unless it be
+directed to some useful end, is but a wanton frivolous quality; all that
+one should value himself upon in this kind is, that he had some
+honourable intention in it.
+
+As for this point, never hero in romance was carried away with a more
+furious ambition to conquer giants and tyrants, than I have been in
+extirpating gamesters and duellists. And indeed, like one of those
+knights too, though I was calm before, I am apt to fly out again, when
+the thing that first disturbed me is presented to my imagination. I
+shall therefore leave off when I am well, and fight with windmills no
+more: only shall be so arrogant as to say of myself, that in spite of
+all the force of fashion and prejudice, in the face of all the world, I
+alone bewailed the condition of an English gentleman, whose fortune and
+life are at this day precarious; while his estate is liable to the
+demands of gamesters, through a false sense of justice; and to the
+demands of duellists, through a false sense of honour. As to the first
+of these orders of men, I have not one word more to say of them: as to
+the latter, I shall conclude all I have more to offer against them (with
+respect to their being prompted by the fear of shame) by applying to the
+duellist what I think Dr. South says somewhere of the liar, "He is a
+coward to man, and a brave to God."
+
+_To_ Mr. Maynwaring.[52]
+
+SIR,
+
+The state of conversation and business in this town having been long
+perplexed with pretenders in both kinds, in order to open men's eyes
+against such abuses, it appeared no unprofitable undertaking to publish
+a paper which should observe upon the manners of the pleasureable, as
+well as the busy part of mankind. To make this generally read, it seemed
+the most proper method to form it by way of a letter of intelligence,
+consisting of such parts as might gratify the curiosity of persons of
+all conditions, and of each sex. But a work of this nature requiring
+time to grow into the notice of the world, it happened very luckily,
+that a little before I had resolved upon this design, a gentleman[53]
+had written Predictions, and two or three other pieces in my name, which
+had rendered it famous through all parts of Europe; and by an inimitable
+spirit and humour, raised it to as high a pitch of reputation as it
+could possibly arrive at.
+
+By this good fortune, the name of Isaac Bickerstaff gained an audience
+of all who had any taste of wit, and the addition of the ordinary
+occurrences of common journals of news brought in a multitude of other
+readers. I could not, I confess, long keep up the opinion of the town,
+that these lucubrations were written by the same hand with the first
+works which were published under my name; but before I lost the
+participation of that author's fame, I had already found the advantage
+of his authority, to which I owe the sudden acceptance which my labours
+met with in the world.
+
+The general purpose of this paper, is to expose the false arts of life,
+to pull off the disguises of cunning, vanity, and affectation, and
+recommend a general simplicity in our dress, our discourse, and our
+behaviour. No man has a better judgment for the discovery, or a nobler
+spirit for the contempt of such impostures, than your self; which
+qualities render you the most proper patron for the author of these
+essays. In the general, the design, however executed, has met with so
+great success, that there is hardly a name now eminent among us for
+power, wit, beauty, valour, or wisdom, which is not subscribed, for the
+encouragement of the two volumes in octavo, on a royal or medium
+paper.[54] This is indeed an honour, for which it is impossible to
+express a suitable gratitude; and there is nothing could be an addition
+to the pleasure I take in it, but the reflection that it gives me the
+most conspicuous occasion I can ever have, of subscribing myself,
+
+Sir,
+
+Your most obliged, most obedient, and most humble Servant,
+
+ISAAC BICKERSTAFF.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 43: This Preface was originally prefixed to the fourth volume
+of the collected edition issued in 1710-11.]
+
+[Footnote 44: No. 238.]
+
+[Footnote 45: No. 9.]
+
+[Footnote 46: See No. 11.]
+
+[Footnote 47: No. 193.]
+
+[Footnote 48: Addison.]
+
+[Footnote 49: Nos. 153, 18, 42, 220.]
+
+[Footnote 50: Benjamin Hoadly, afterwards Bishop of Bangor, Salisbury,
+and Winchester, successively, was in 1709 engaged in controversy with
+Dr. Francis Atterbury, who represented the high-church party. George
+Smalridge, afterwards Bishop of Bristol, was a Jacobite.]
+
+[Footnote 51: See Nos. 72, 114.]
+
+[Footnote 52: Arthur Maynwaring was descended from the ancient family of
+the Maynwarings of Over Peover, Cheshire. He was born in 1668, at
+Ightfield, Shropshire, and was educated at the Shrewsbury Grammar School
+and at Christ Church, Oxford, where Smalridge was his tutor. Filled with
+prejudices against the Revolution, he came to London to study law, but a
+political satire which he published brought him under Dryden's notice,
+and the kind reception given him by several Whig statesmen, to whom he
+was introduced, caused him to change his views on politics, and after
+his father's death in 1693 he gave up the law and determined to push his
+fortunes at the Court. He was made a Commissioner of Customs and
+afterwards Auditor of the Imprests. He was admitted to the Kit-Cat Club,
+and in 1706 the interest of Godolphin procured him a seat in the House
+of Commons. Upon the fall of the Whig ministry in 1710, Maynwaring set
+up the _Medley_, a weekly paper in which the attacks of the _Examiner_
+were answered, and wrote various political pamphlets. But his health
+soon broke down, and he died in November, 1712. Mrs. Oldfield, the
+actress, was the sole executrix of his will, by which he divided his
+small property of some £3000 between her, a son that he had by her, and
+his sister. There appear to have been many good points in his character.
+His "Life and Posthumous Works" were published by Oldmixon in 1715.
+"Maynwaring, whom we hear nothing of now, was the ruling man in all
+conversations, indeed what he wrote had very little merit in it" (Pope,
+in Spence's "Anecdotes," 1820, p. 338). Steele says that Harley told him
+that he had to thank Maynwaring for his post of Gazetteer.]
+
+[Footnote 53: Swift.]
+
+[Footnote 54: "Encouragement of these volumes," in the octavo edition.
+The list of subscribers to the original octavo edition comprised the
+names of some four hundred of the most prominent persons of the day.]
+
+
+
+
+THE TATLER
+
+BY ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, ESQ.
+
+
+
+
+No. 1. [STEELE.
+
+_Tuesday, April 12_, 1709.
+
+    Quicquid agunt homines ... nostri farrago libelli.
+                                            Juv., Sat. I. 85, 86.[55]
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Though the other papers which are published for the use of the good
+people of England have certainly very wholesome effects, and are
+laudable in their particular kinds, yet they do not seem to come up to
+the main design of such narrations, which, I humbly presume, should be
+principally intended for the use of politic persons, who are so public
+spirited as to neglect their own affairs to look into transactions of
+State. Now these gentlemen, for the most part, being men of strong zeal
+and weak intellects, it is both a charitable and necessary work to offer
+something, whereby such worthy and well-affected members of the
+commonwealth may be instructed, after their reading, what to think;
+which shall be the end and purpose of this my paper: wherein I shall
+from time to time report and consider all matters of what kind soever
+that shall occur to me, and publish such my advices and reflections
+every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday in the week for the convenience
+of the post.[56] I have also resolved to have something which may be of
+entertainment to the fair sex, in honour of whom I have taken the title
+of this paper. I therefore earnestly desire all persons, without
+distinction, to take it in for the present gratis, and hereafter at the
+price of one penny, forbidding all hawkers to take more for it at their
+peril. And I desire my readers to consider, that I am at a very great
+charge for proper materials for this work, as well as that before I
+resolved upon it, I had settled a correspondence in all parts of the
+known and knowing world. And forasmuch as this globe is not trodden upon
+by mere drudges of business only, but that men of spirit and genius are
+justly to be esteemed as considerable agents in it, we shall not, upon a
+dearth of news, present you with musty foreign edicts, or dull
+proclamations, but shall divide our relation of the passages which occur
+in action or discourse throughout this town, as well as elsewhere, under
+such dates of places as may prepare you for the matter you are to
+expect, in the following manner:
+
+All accounts of gallantry, pleasure, and entertainment, shall be under
+the article of White's Chocolate-house;[57] poetry, under that of Will's
+Coffee-house;[58] learning, under the title of Grecian;[59] foreign and
+domestic news, you will have from St. James's Coffee-house;[60] and what
+else I shall on any other subject offer, shall be dated from my own
+apartment.
+
+I once more desire my readers to consider that as I cannot keep an
+ingenious man to go daily to Will's under twopence each day merely
+for his charges,[61] to White's under sixpence, nor to the Grecian
+without allowing him some plain Spanish,[62] to be as able as others at
+the learned table; and that a good observer cannot speak with even
+Kidney[63] at St. James's without clean linen; I say, these
+considerations will, I hope, make all persons willing to comply with my
+humble request (when my gratis stock is exhausted) of a penny a piece;
+especially since they are sure of some proper amusement, and that it is
+impossible for me to want means to entertain them, having, besides the
+helps of my own parts, the power of divination, and that I can, by
+casting a figure, tell you all that will happen before it comes to pass.
+
+But this last faculty I shall use very sparingly, and not speak of
+anything until it is passed, for fear of divulging matters which may
+offend our superiors.[64]
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, April 11.
+
+The deplorable condition of a very pretty gentleman, who walks here at
+the hours when men of quality first appear, is what is very much
+lamented. His history is, that on the 9th of September, 1705, being in
+his one and twentieth year, he was washing his teeth at a tavern window
+in Pall Mall, when a fine equipage passed by, and in it a young lady,
+who looked up at him; away goes the coach, and the young gentleman
+pulled off his nightcap, and instead of rubbing his gums, as he ought to
+do out of the window till about four o'clock, he sits him down, and
+spoke not a word till twelve at night; after which, he began to inquire,
+if anybody knew the lady. The company asked, "What lady?" But he said no
+more until they broke up at six in the morning. All the ensuing winter
+he went from church to church every Sunday, and from play-house to
+play-house all the week, but could never find the original of the
+picture which dwelt in his bosom. In a word, his attention to anything
+but his passion, was utterly gone. He has lost all the money he ever
+played for, and been confuted in every argument he has entered upon
+since the moment he first saw her. He is of a noble family, has
+naturally a very good air, and is of a frank, honest temper: but this
+passion has so extremely mauled him, that his features are set and
+uninformed, and his whole visage is deadened by a long absence of
+thought. He never appears in any alacrity, but when raised by wine; at
+which time he is sure to come hither, and throw away a great deal of wit
+on fellows, who have no sense further than just to observe, that our
+poor lover has most understanding when he is drunk, and is least in his
+senses when he is sober.[65]
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, April 8.
+
+On Thursday last[66] was presented, for the benefit of Mr.
+Betterton,[67] the celebrated comedy, called "Love for Love."[68] Those
+excellent players, Mrs. Barry,[69] Mrs. Bracegirdle,[70] and Mr.
+Doggett,[71] though not at present concerned in the house, acted on that
+occasion. There has not been known so great a concourse of persons of
+distinction as at that time; the stage itself was covered with gentlemen
+and ladies, and when the curtain was drawn, it discovered even there a
+very splendid audience. This unusual encouragement, which was given to a
+play for the advantage of so great an actor, gives an undeniable
+instance, that the true relish for manly entertainments and rational
+pleasures is not wholly lost. All the parts were acted to perfection;
+the actors were careful of their carriage, and no one was guilty of the
+affectation to insert witticisms of his own, but a due respect was had
+to the audience, for encouraging this accomplished player. It is not now
+doubted but plays will revive, and take their usual place in the opinion
+of persons of wit and merit, notwithstanding their late apostacy in
+favour of dress and sound. This place is very much altered since Mr.
+Dryden frequented it; where you used to see songs, epigrams, and satires
+in the hands of every man you met, you have now only a pack of cards;
+and instead of the cavils about the turn of the expression, the elegance
+of the style, and the like, the learned now dispute only about the truth
+of the game. But, however the company is altered, all have shown a great
+respect for Mr. Betterton: and the very gaming part of this house have
+been so much touched with a sense of the uncertainty of human affairs
+(which alter with themselves every moment) that in this gentleman, they
+pitied Mark Antony of Rome, Hamlet of Denmark, Mithridates of Pontus,
+Theodosius of Greece, and Henry the Eighth of England. It is well known
+he has been in the condition of each of those illustrious personages for
+several hours together, and behaved himself in those high stations, in
+all the changes of the scene, with suitable dignity. For these reasons,
+we intend to repeat this favour to him on a proper occasion, lest he who
+can instruct us so well in personating feigned sorrows, should be lost
+to us by suffering under real ones. The town is at present in very great
+expectation of seeing a comedy now in rehearsal, which is the
+twenty-fifth production of my honoured friend Mr. Thomas D'Urfey;[72]
+who, besides his great abilities in the dramatic, has a peculiar talent
+in the lyric way of writing, and that with a manner wholly new and
+unknown to the ancient Greeks and Romans, wherein he is but faintly
+imitated in the translations of the modern Italian operas.[73]
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, April 11.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 16th say, that Major-General Cadogan[74]
+was gone to Brussels, with orders to disperse proper instructions for
+assembling the whole force of the allies in Flanders in the beginning of
+the next month.[75] The late offers concerning peace were made in the
+style of persons who think themselves upon equal terms. But the allies
+have so just a sense of their present advantages, that they will not
+admit of a treaty, except France offers what is more suitable to her
+present condition. At the same time we make preparations, as if we were
+alarmed by a greater force than that which we are carrying into the
+field. Thus this point seems now to be argued sword in hand. This was
+what a great general[76] alluded to, when being asked the names of those
+who were to be plenipotentiaries for the ensuing peace, answered, with a
+serious air, "There are about a hundred thousand of us." Mr. Kidney, who
+has the ear of the greatest politicians that come hither, tells me,
+there is a mail come in to-day with letters, dated Hague, April 19,
+N.S., which say, a design of bringing part of our troops into the field
+at the latter end of this month, is now altered to a resolution of
+marching towards the camp about the 20th of the next. There happened the
+other day, in the road of Scheveling, an engagement between a privateer
+of Zealand and one of Dunkirk. The Dunkirker, carrying 33 pieces of
+cannon, was taken and brought into the Texel. It is said, the courier of
+Monsieur Rouillé[77] is returned to him from the Court of France.
+Monsieur Vendôme being reinstated in the favour of the Duchess of
+Burgundy, is to command in Flanders.
+
+Mr. Kidney added, that there were letters of the 17th from Ghent, which
+give an account, that the enemy had formed a design to surprise two
+battalions of the allies which lay at Alost; but those battalions
+received advice of their march, and retired to Dendermond.
+Lieutenant-General Wood[78] appeared on this occasion at the head of
+5000 foot, and 1000 horse, upon which the enemy withdrew, without making
+any further attempt.
+
+
+From my own Apartment.
+
+I am sorry I am obliged to trouble the public with so much discourse
+upon a matter which I at the very first mentioned as a trifle--viz. the
+death of Mr. Partridge,[79] under whose name there is an almanack come
+out for the year 1709, in one page of which it is asserted by the said
+John Partridge, that he is still living, and that not only so, but that
+he was also living some time before, and even at the instant when I writ
+of his death. I have in another place, and in a paper by itself,
+sufficiently convinced this man that he is dead, and if he has any
+shame, I don't doubt but that by this time he owns it to all his
+acquaintance: for though the legs and arms, and whole body of that man
+may still appear and perform their animal functions; yet since, as I
+have elsewhere observed, his art is gone, the man is gone. I am, as I
+said, concerned, that this little matter should make so much noise; but
+since I am engaged, I take myself obliged in honour to go on in my
+lucubrations, and by the help of these arts of which I am master, as
+well as my skill in astrological speculations, I shall, as I see
+occasion, proceed to confute other dead men, who pretend to be in being,
+that they are actually deceased. I therefore give all men fair warning
+to mend their manners, for I shall from time to time print bills of
+mortality; and I beg the pardon of all such who shall be named therein,
+if they who are good for nothing shall find themselves in the number of
+the deceased.[80]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 55: This motto was repeated at the head of each of the first
+40 numbers in the folio issue.]
+
+[Footnote 56: These were the days on which the post left London for the
+different parts of the country.]
+
+[Footnote 57: White's Chocolate-house, five doors from the bottom of the
+west side of St. James's Street, was established in 1698. It was burnt
+on April 28, 1733, while kept by Mr. Arthur. Plate VI. of Hogarth's
+"Rake's Progress" depicts gamblers engrossed in play in a room in this
+house during the fire; see also Plate IV. Swift gives it a bad character
+in his "Essay on Modern Education;" it had a strong character for
+gambling (Timbs's "Clubs and Club Life in London," where, at p. 48,
+there is a sketch of White's from an old drawing). The house became a
+private club, as we now have it, about 1736.]
+
+[Footnote 58: Will's Coffee-house, named after Will Urwin, its
+proprietor, was the corner house on the north side of Russell Street,
+Covent Garden, at the end of Bow Street. The present house, 21 Russell
+Street, is probably part of the old building. Will's was ceasing to be
+the resort of the wits in 1709; it was in its glory at the close of the
+seventeenth century. The wits' room, where Dryden presided, was on the
+first floor.]
+
+[Footnote 59: The Grecian, in Devereux Court in the Strand, was probably
+the most ancient coffee-house in or about London. In 1652 an English
+Turkey merchant brought home with him a Greek servant, who first opened
+a house for making and selling coffee. This man's name was Constantine,
+and his house was much resorted to by lawyers, Greek scholars, and
+Members of the Royal Society. (See Thoresby's Diary, i. 111, 117.) Foote
+and Goldsmith afterwards frequented it. In Dr. King's "Anecdotes" there
+is a story of two gentlemen friends who disputed at the Grecian
+Coffee-house about the accent of a Greek word to such a length that they
+went out into Devereux Court and drew swords, when one of them was
+killed on the spot.]
+
+[Footnote 60: The St. James's Coffee-house was the last house but one on
+the S.W. corner of St. James's Street. It was frequented by Whig
+statesmen, and was closed about 1806. Swift and Steele were at a supper
+given by the keeper on the 19th November, 1710.]
+
+[Footnote 61: Cf. the _Spectator_, No. 31: "Laying down my penny upon
+the bar."]
+
+[Footnote 62: Wine.]
+
+[Footnote 63: A waiter. See Nos. 10, 26.]
+
+[Footnote 64: This introduction was repeated in Nos. 2 and 3 of the
+original issue.]
+
+[Footnote 65: "The reader is desired to take notice of the article from
+this place from time to time, for I design to be very exact in the
+progress this unhappy gentleman makes, which may be of great instruction
+to all who actually are, or who ever shall be, in love." (Original
+folio.) For Viscount Hinchinbroke ("Cynthio"), see No. 5.]
+
+[Footnote 66: April 7, 1709. Cibber acknowledges that Steele did the
+stage very considerable service by the papers on the theatre in the
+_Tatler_.]
+
+[Footnote 67: For further particulars of Thomas Betterton (1635-1710),
+see Nos. 71 and 167. Cibber says: "I never heard a line in tragedy come
+from Betterton wherein my judgment, my ear and my imagination were not
+fully satisfied.... The person of this excellent actor was suitable to
+his voice, more manly than sweet, not exceeding the middle stature,
+inclining to be corpulent; of a serious and penetrating aspect; his
+limbs nearer the athletic than the delicate proportion; yet, however
+formed, there arose from the harmony of the whole a commanding mien of
+majesty."]
+
+[Footnote 68: By Congreve, 1695.]
+
+[Footnote 69: Mrs. Elizabeth Barry on this occasion spoke an epilogue,
+written by Rowe. She was the daughter of Edward Barry, barrister, whose
+fortunes were ruined by his attachment to Charles I. Tony Aston, in his
+"Supplement to Cibber's Apology," says she was woman to Lady Shelton, of
+Norfolk, his godmother; and Curll tells us that she was early taken
+under the protection of Lady Davenant. She was certainly on the stage in
+1673. At her first appearance there was so little hope of her success,
+that at the end of the season she was discharged [from] the theatre. It
+is probable that at this time she became acquainted with Lord Rochester,
+who took her under his protection, and gave her instructions in her
+theatrical performances. By his interest she seems to have been restored
+to the stage, and, improving daily in her profession, she soon eclipsed
+all her competitors, and in the part of Monimia in "The Orphan"
+established her reputation, which was enhanced by her performance as
+Belvidera in "Venice Preserved," and as Isabella in "The Fatal
+Marriage." "In characters of greatness," says Cibber, "Mrs. Barry had a
+presence of elevated dignity, her mien and motion superb, and gracefully
+majestic; her voice full, clear, and strong, so that no violence of
+passion could be too much for her, and when distress or tenderness
+possessed her she subsided into the most affecting melody and softness.
+In the art of exciting pity she had a power beyond all the actresses I
+have yet seen, or what your imagination can conceive. In scenes of
+anger, defiance, or resentment, while she was impetuous and terrible,
+she poured out the sentiment with an enchanting harmony.... In tragedy
+she was solemn and august, in comedy alert, easy, and genteel, pleasant
+in her face and action, filling the stage with a variety of gesture. She
+could neither sing nor dance, no not in a country dance. She adhered to
+Betterton in all the revolutions of the theatre, which she quitted about
+1707, on account of ill-health." She returned, however, for one night
+with Mrs. Bracegirdle, April 7, 1709, and performed Mrs. Frail in "Love
+for Love" for Betterton's benefit. She died at Acton in 1713. Mrs.
+Barry, Mrs. Bracegirdle, Mr. Betterton, and Mr. Varbriggen were sworn as
+Comedians in Ordinary to her Majesty, 30th Oct., 2 Anne (1703). On the
+3rd March, 1692, Mrs. Barry received £25 for acting in "The Orphan"
+before their Majesties, and on the 10th June, 1693, £25 for Caius
+Marius. (Lord Chamberlain's Records, Warrant Books, No. 20, p. 151; No.
+18, pp. 30, 242.)]
+
+[Footnote 70: Mrs. Anne Bracegirdle was the daughter of Justinian
+Bracegirdle, of Northamptonshire. By the imprudence of her father, who
+ruined himself by becoming surety for some friends, she was early left
+to the care of Betterton and his wife, whose attentions to her she
+always acknowledged to be truly paternal. By them she was first
+introduced to the stage, and, while very young, performed the page in
+"The Orphan." Increasing in years, and in ability, she became the
+favourite performer of the times. Cibber describes her in these terms:
+"Mrs. Bracegirdle was now but just blooming in her maturity; her
+reputation, as an actress, gradually rising with that of her person;
+never any woman was in such general favour of her spectators, which, to
+the last scene of her dramatic life, she maintained by not being
+unguarded in her private character. This discretion contributed not a
+little to make her the _Cara_, the darling of the theatre: for it will
+be no extravagant thing to say scarce an audience saw her that were less
+than half of them lovers, without a suspected favourite among them: and
+though she might be said to have been the universal passion and under
+the highest temptations, her constancy in resisting them served but to
+increase the number of her admirers. And this perhaps you will more
+easily believe, when I extend not my encomiums on her person beyond a
+sincerity that can be suspected; for she had no greater claim to beauty
+than what the most desirable brunette might pretend to. But her youth
+and lively aspect threw out such a glow of health and cheerfulness,
+that, on the stage, few spectators that were not past it, could behold
+her without desire. There were two very different characters in which
+she acquitted herself with uncommon applause: if anything could excuse
+that desperate extravagance of love, that almost frantic passion of
+Lee's Alexander the Great, it must have been when Mrs. Bracegirdle was
+his Statira: as when she acted Millamant, all the faults, follies, and
+affectation of that agreeable tyrant were venially melted down into so
+many charms and attractions of a conscious beauty." In the theatrical
+disputes of the times, she adhered to her benefactor Betterton, and
+continued to perform with applause until 1707, when, on the preference
+being given to Mrs. Oldfield in a contention between that actress and
+Mrs. Bracegirdle, she left the stage, except for one night, when she
+returned with Mrs. Barry to the theatre, and performed Angelica for
+Betterton's benefit (the performance described in this number). She died
+in 1748.]
+
+[Footnote 71: Thomas Doggett died in 1721. In 1695 he created the
+character of Ben in Congreve's "Love for Love." Afterwards he was
+associated with Steele in the management of Drury Lane Theatre.]
+
+[Footnote 72: D'Urfey's "Modern Prophets" was produced in 1709. Thomas
+D'Urfey died in 1723, aged 70, leaving Steele a watch and chain, which
+his friend wore at the funeral. He wrote many plays and songs. See also
+Nos. 11, 43.]
+
+[Footnote 73: See No. 4.]
+
+[Footnote 74: William, First Earl Cadogan (1675-1726), was an able
+officer who took a very prominent part in Marlborough's campaigns. In
+January, 1709, he was made lieutenant-general, and he was dangerously
+wounded at the siege of Mons. He was appointed Lieutenant of the Tower
+of London in December.]
+
+[Footnote 75: The news-paragraphs in the earlier numbers of the _Tatler_
+are here preserved for the sake of completeness, but for the most part
+the details recorded are not of permanent interest, and do not call for
+comment. The reader may be reminded generally that in the spring of 1709
+the French, after the battle of Oudenarde and the fall of Lille,
+followed by a very severe winter, were driven to think of terms of
+peace. The negotiations, however, fell through for the time, and the
+campaign was begun in the Netherlands, where Marlborough and Prince
+Eugene had an army of 110,000 men. The French were entrenched under
+Villars between Douay and Béthune, and were strengthened by part of the
+garrison of Tournay. Marlborough seized the opportunity of attacking the
+half-defended town, which was obliged to surrender on July 29, after a
+siege of nineteen days. The French then made a great effort, and brought
+an army of 100,000 men into the field, with the result that the battle
+of Malplaquet (Sept. 11) was a very bloody and hard-earned victory for
+the allies. The subsequent fall of Mons brought the campaign to a
+close.]
+
+[Footnote 76: Marlborough.]
+
+[Footnote 77: A merchant entrusted by Lewis XIV. to negotiate terms of
+peace with the Dutch.]
+
+[Footnote 78: General Wood played a distinguished part in the battles of
+Donauwerth (1704) and Ramilies (1706).]
+
+[Footnote 79: See the Introduction.]
+
+[Footnote 80: "A Vindication of Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., against what is
+objected to him by Mr. Partridge in his Almanack for the present year
+1709. By the said Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., London, printed in the year
+1709." (Advertisement in folio issue.) In a pamphlet called "Predictions
+for the Year 1712. By Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq.; in a Letter to the author
+of the Oxford Almanack. Printed in the year 1712," this "Vindication" is
+thus noticed: "I can't but express my resentment against a gentleman who
+personated me in a paper called 'Mr. Bickerstaff's Vindication.' I'm
+grieved to find the times should be so very wicked, that one impostor
+should set up to reform another, and that a false Bickerstaff should
+write against an imaginary Partridge. And I am heartily concerned that
+one who shows so much wit, such extreme civility, and writes such a
+gentlemanlike style, should prefix my name to writings in which there
+appears so little solidity and no knowledge of the Arabian philosophy.
+If this paper should be transmitted to posterity (as, perhaps, it might
+have been by the authority of the name it wears in the front) it might
+have been a lasting reflection upon me to the end of the world.... Till
+seeing four volumes of writings--the collected edition of the
+_Tatler_--pretended to be mine, and a serious philosopher's name
+prefixed to papers as free from my solidity as they are full of wit, I
+thought it high time to vindicate myself, and give the world a taste of
+my writings; for I am now persuaded 'twill be more for my reputation to
+convince than to despise mankind."]
+
+
+
+
+No. 2. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, April 12_, to _Thursday, April 14_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, April 13.
+
+There has lain all this evening, on the table, the following poem. The
+subject of it being matter very useful for families, I thought it
+deserved to be considered, and made more public. The turn the poet[81]
+gives it is very happy; but the foundation is from a real accident
+which happened among my acquaintance.[82] A young gentleman of a great
+estate fell desperately in love with a great beauty of very high
+quality, but as ill-natured as long flattery and an habitual self-will
+could make her. However, my young spark ventures upon her, like a man of
+quality, without being acquainted with her, or having ever saluted her,
+till it was a crime to kiss any woman else. Beauty is a thing which
+palls with possession; and the charms of this lady soon wanted the
+support of good humour and complaisancy of manners. Upon this my spark
+flies to the bottle for relief from his satiety. She disdains him for
+being tired with that for which all men envied him; and he never came
+home, but it was: "Was there no sot that would stay longer? Would any
+man living but you? Did I leave all the world for this usage?" To which
+he: "Madam, split me, you are very impertinent!" In a word, this match
+was wedlock in its most terrible appearances. She, at last weary of
+railing to no purpose, applies to a good uncle, who gives her a bottle
+of water. "The virtue of this powerful liquor," said he, "is such, that
+if the woman you marry proves a scold (which, it seems, my dear niece,
+is your misfortune, as it was your good mother's before you), let her
+hold six spoonfuls in her mouth, for a full half hour after you come
+home--" But I find I am not in humour for telling a tale, and nothing in
+nature is so ungrateful as story-telling against the grain, therefore
+take it as the author has given it you.
+
+
+The MEDECINE.
+
+#A Tale--for the Ladies.#
+
+    Miss Molly, a famed toast, was fair and young,
+    Had wealth and charms, but then she had a tongue
+    From morn to night, the eternal larum run,
+    Which often lost those hearts her eyes had won.
+
+    Sir John was smitten, and confessed his flame,
+    Sighed out the usual time, then wed the dame:
+    Possessed he thought of every joy of life,
+    But his dear Molly proved a very wife.
+    Excess of fondness did in time decline,
+    Madam loved money, and the knight loved wine.
+    From whence some petty discords would arise,
+    As, "You're a fool"; and, "You are mighty wise!"
+
+    Though he and all the world allowed her wit,
+    Her voice was shrill, and rather loud than sweet,
+    When she began,--for hat and sword he'd call.
+    Then, after a faint kiss, cry, "B'y, dear Moll:
+    Supper and friends expect me at the Rose."[83]
+    And, "What, Sir John, you'll get your usual dose!
+    Go, stink of smoke, and guzzle nasty wine,
+    Sure, never virtuous love was used like mine!"
+
+    Oft as the watchful bellman marched his round,
+    At a fresh bottle gay Sir John he found.
+    By four the knight would get his business done,
+    And only then reeled off, because alone;
+    Full well he knew the dreadful storm to come,
+    But armed with bordeaux, he durst venture home.
+
+    My lady with her tongue was still prepared,
+    She rattled loud, and he impatient heard:
+    "'Tis a fine hour? In a sweet pickle made!
+    And this, Sir John, is every day the trade.
+    Here I sit moping all the live-long night,
+    Devoured with spleen, and stranger to delight;
+    'Till morn sends staggering home a drunken beast,
+    Resolved to break my heart, as well as rest."
+
+    "Hey! Hoop! d'ye hear my damned obstreperous spouse!
+    What, can't you find one bed about the house!
+    Will that perpetual clack lie never still!
+    That rival to the softness of a mill!
+    Some couch and distant room must be my choice,
+    Where I may sleep uncursed with wife and noise."
+
+    Long this uncomfortable life they led,
+    With snarling meals, and each, a separate bed.
+    To an old uncle oft she would complain,
+    Beg his advice, and scarce from tears refrain.
+    Old Wisewood smoked the matter as it was,
+    "Cheer up!" cried he, "and I'll remove the cause.
+
+    "A wonderous spring within my garden flows,
+    Of sovereign virtue, chiefly to compose
+    Domestic jars, and matrimonial strife,
+    The best elixir t' appease man and wife;
+    Strange are th' effects, the qualities divine,
+    'Tis water called, but worth its weight in wine.
+    If in his sullen airs Sir John should come,
+    Three spoonfuls take, hold in your mouth--then mum:
+    Smile, and look pleased, when he shall rage and scold,
+    Still in your mouth the healing cordial hold;
+    One month this sympathetic medecine tried,
+    He'll grow a lover, you a happy bride.
+    But, dearest niece, keep this grand secret close,
+    Or every prattling hussy'll beg a dose."
+
+    A water-bottle's brought for her relief,
+    Not Nantz could sooner ease the lady's grief:
+    Her busy thoughts are on the trial bent,
+    And female-like, impatient for th' event:
+
+    The bonny knight reels home exceeding clear,
+    Prepared for clamour, and domestic war.
+    Entering, he cries, "Hey! where's our thunder fled?
+    No hurricane! Betty, 's your lady dead?"
+    Madam, aside, an ample mouthful takes,
+    Curtsies, looks kind, but not a word she speaks:
+    Wondering, he stared, scarcely his eyes believed,
+    But found his ears agreeably deceived.
+    "Why, how now, Molly, what's the crotchet now?"
+    She smiles, and answers only with a bow.
+    Then clasping her about,--"Why, let me die!
+    These nightclothes, Moll, become thee mightily!"
+    With that, he sighed, her hand began to press,
+    And Betty calls, her lady to undress;
+    "Nay, kiss me, Molly, for I'm much inclined."
+    Her lace she cuts, to take him in the mind.
+    Thus the fond pair to bed enamoured went,
+    The lady pleased, and the good knight content.
+
+    For many days these fond endearments passed,
+    The reconciling bottle fails at last;
+    'Twas used and gone: Then midnight storms arose,
+    And looks and words the union discompose.
+    Her coach is ordered, and post-haste she flies,
+    To beg her uncle for some fresh supplies;
+    Transported does the strange effects relate,
+    Her knight's conversion, and her happy state!
+
+    "Why, niece," says he, "I prithee apprehend
+    The water's water. Be thyself thy friend;
+    Such beauty would the coldest husband warm,
+    But your provoking tongue undoes the charm:
+    Be silent, and complying; you'll soon find,
+    Sir John, without a medecine, will be kind."
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, April 13.
+
+Letters from Venice say, the disappointment of their expectation to see
+his Danish Majesty, has very much disquieted the Court of Rome. Our last
+advices from Germany inform us, that the minister of Hanover has urged
+the council at Ratisbon to exert themselves in behalf of the common
+cause, and taken the liberty to say, that the dignity, the virtue, the
+prudence of his electoral highness, his master, were called to the head
+of their affairs in vain, if they thought fit to leave him naked of the
+proper means to make those excellences useful for the honour and safety
+of the Empire. They write from Berlin of the 13th, O.S., that the true
+design of General Fleming's visit to that Court was, to insinuate, that
+it will be for the mutual interest of the King of Prussia and King
+Augustus to enter into a new alliance; but that the ministers of Prussia
+are not inclined to his sentiments. We hear from Vienna, that his
+Imperial Majesty has expressed great satisfaction in their high
+mightinesses having communicated to him the whole that has passed in the
+affair of a peace. Though there have been practices used by the agents
+of France, in all the Courts of Europe, to break the good understanding
+of the allies, they have had no other effect, but to make all the
+members concerned in the alliance, more doubtful of their safety from
+the great offers of the enemy. The Empire is roused by this alarm, and
+the frontiers of all the French dominions are in danger of being
+insulted the ensuing campaign: advices from all parts confirm, that it
+is impossible for France to find a way to obtain so much credit, as to
+gain any one potentate of the allies, or make any hope for safety from
+other prospects.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, April 13.
+
+I find it of very great use, now I am setting up for a writer of news,
+that I am an adept in astrological speculations; by which means, I avoid
+speaking of things which may offend great persons. But at the same time,
+I must not prostitute the liberal sciences so far, as not to utter the
+truth in cases which do not immediately concern the good of my native
+country. I must therefore boldly contradict what has been so assuredly
+reported by the news-writers of England, that France is in the most
+deplorable condition, and that their people die in great multitudes. I
+will therefore let the world know, that my correspondent, by the way of
+Brussels, informs me, upon his honour, that the gentleman who writes the
+Gazette of Paris, and ought to know as well as any man, has told him,
+that ever since the king has been past his 63rd year, or grand
+climacteric, there has not one man died of the French nation who was
+younger than his Majesty, except a very few, who were taken suddenly
+near the village of Hochsted[84] in Germany; and some more, who were
+straitened for lodging at a place called Ramilies, and died on the road
+to Ghent and Bruges. There are also other things given out by the
+allies, which are shifts below a conquering nation to make use of. Among
+others, 'tis said, there is a general murmuring among the people of
+France, though at the same time all my letters agree, that there is so
+good an understanding among them, that there is not one morsel carried
+out of any market in the kingdom, but what is delivered upon credit.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 81: William Harrison (1685-1713) was a favourite with Swift
+and Addison. He wrote verses, and a continuation of the _Tatler_, and
+afterwards obtained office in the diplomatic service; but his health
+soon broke down, and he died when 28.]
+
+[Footnote 82: There is a similar story in Burton's "Anatomy of
+Melancholy."]
+
+[Footnote 83: The Rose Tavern, in Russell Street, adjoined Drury Lane
+Theatre, and was a favourite resort during and after the play.]
+
+[Footnote 84: The Battle of Blenheim.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 3. [STEELE.
+
+From _Thursday, April 14_, to _Saturday, April 16_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, April 14.
+
+This evening, the comedy called "The Country Wife"[85] was acted in
+Drury Lane, for the benefit of Mrs. Bignell.[86] The part which gives
+name to the play was performed by herself. Through the whole action, she
+made a very pretty figure, and exactly entered into the nature of the
+part. Her husband in the drama, is represented to be one of those
+debauchees who run through the vices of the town, and believe when they
+think fit they can marry, and settle at their ease. His own knowledge of
+the iniquity of the age, makes him choose a wife wholly ignorant of it,
+and place his security in her want of skill how to abuse him. The poet,
+on many occasions, where the propriety of the character will admit of
+it, insinuates, that there is no defence against vice, but the contempt
+of it: and has, in the natural ideas of an untainted innocent, shown the
+gradual steps to ruin and destruction, which persons of condition run
+into, without the help of a good education how to form their conduct.
+The torment of a jealous coxcomb, which arises from his own false
+maxims, and the aggravation of his pain, by the very words in which he
+sees her innocence, makes a very pleasant and instructive satire. The
+character of Horner, and the design of it, is a good representation of
+the age in which that comedy was written; at which time love and
+wenching were the business of life, and the gallant manner of pursuing
+women was the best recommendation at Court. To which only it is to be
+imputed, that a gentleman of Mr. Wycherley's character and sense,
+condescends to represent the insults done to the honour of the bed,
+without just reproof; but to have drawn a man of probity with regard to
+such considerations, had been a monster, and a poet had at that time
+discovered his want of knowing the manners of the Court he lived in, by
+a virtuous character in his fine gentleman, as he would show his
+ignorance, by drawing a vicious one to please the present audience. Mrs.
+Bignell did her part very happily, and had a certain grace in her
+rusticity, which gave us hopes of seeing her a very skilful player, and
+in some parts, supply our loss of Mrs. Verbruggen.[87] I cannot be of
+the same opinion with my friends and fellow-labourers, the Reformers of
+Manners,[88] in their severity towards plays, but must allow that a good
+play acted before a well-bred audience, must raise very proper
+incitements to good behaviour, and be the most quick and most prevailing
+method of giving young people a turn of sense and breeding. But as I
+have set up for a weekly historian, I resolve to be a faithful one; and
+therefore take this public occasion to admonish a young nobleman, who
+came flustered into the box last night, and let him know, how much all
+his friends were out of countenance for him. The women sat in terror of
+hearing something that should shock their modesty, and all the gentlemen
+in as much pain, out of compassion to the ladies, and perhaps resentment
+for the indignity which was offered in coming into their presence in so
+disrespectful a manner. Wine made him say nothing that was rude,
+therefore he is forgiven, upon condition he will never hazard his
+offending more in this kind. As I just now hinted, I own myself of the
+Society for Reformation of Manners. We have lower instruments than those
+of the family of Bickerstaff, for punishing great crimes, and exposing
+the abandoned. Therefore, as I design to have notices from all public
+assemblies, I shall take upon me only indecorums, improprieties, and
+negligences, in such as should give us better examples. After this
+declaration, if a fine lady thinks fit to giggle at church, or a great
+beau come in drunk to a play, either shall be sure to hear of it in my
+ensuing paper: for merely as a well-bred man, I cannot bear these
+enormities.
+
+After the play, we naturally stroll to this coffee-house, in hopes of
+meeting some new poem, or other entertainment, among the men of wit and
+pleasure, where there is a dearth at present. But it is wonderful there
+should be so few writers, when the art is become merely mechanic, and
+men may make themselves great that way, by as certain and infallible
+rules, as you may be a joiner or a mason. There happens a good instance
+of this, in what the hawker just now has offered to sale; to wit,
+"Instructions to Vanderbank; a Sequel to the Advice to the Poets: A
+Poem, occasioned by the Glorious Success of her Majesty's Arms, under
+the Command of the Duke of Marlborough, the last Year in Flanders."[89]
+Here you are to understand, that the author finding the poets would not
+take his advice, he troubles himself no more about them; but has met
+with one Vanderbank,[90] who works in arras, and makes very good
+tapestry hangings. Therefore, in order to celebrate the hero of the age,
+he claps me together all that can be said of a man that makes hangings, as:
+
+    _Then, artist, who dost Nature's face express
+    In silk and gold, and scenes of action dress;
+    Dost figured arras animated leave,
+    Spin a bright story, or a passion weave
+    By mingling threads; canst mingle shade and light,
+    Delineate triumphs, or describe a fight._
+
+Well, what shall this workman do? Why, to show how great an hero the
+poet intends, he provides him a very good horse:
+
+    _Champing his foam, and bounding on the plain,
+    Arch his high neck, and graceful spread his mane._
+
+Now as to the intrepidity, the calm courage, the constant application of
+the hero, it is not necessary to take that upon yourself; you may, in
+the lump, bid him you employ raise him as high as he can, and if he does
+it not, let him answer for disobeying orders:
+
+    _Let fame and victory in inferior sky,
+    Hover with ballanced wings, and smiling fly
+    Above his head, &c._
+
+A whole poem of this kind may be ready against an ensuing campaign, as
+well as a space left in the canvas of a piece of tapestry for the
+principal figure, while the underparts are working: so that in effect,
+the adviser copies after the man he pretends to direct. This method
+should, methinks, encourage young beginners: for the invention is so
+fitted to all capacities, that by the help of it a man may make a
+receipt for a poem. A young man may observe, that the jig[91] of the
+thing is, as I said, finding out all that can be said of his way [whom]
+you employ to set forth your worthy. Waller and Denham had worn out the
+expedient of "Advice to a Painter."[92] This author has transferred the
+work, and sent his advice to the Poets; that is to say, to the turners
+of verse, as he calls them. Well, that thought is worn out also,
+therefore he directs his genius to the loom, and will have a new set of
+hangings in honour of the last year in Flanders. I must own to you, I
+approve extremely this invention, and it might be improved for the
+benefit of manufactory: as, suppose an ingenious gentleman should write
+a poem of advice to a calico-printer: do you think there is a girl in
+England, that would wear anything but the taking of Lille, or the Battle
+of Oudenarde? They would certainly be all the fashion, till the heroes
+abroad had cut out some more patterns. I should fancy small skirmishes
+might do for under-petticoats, provided they had a siege for the upper.
+If our adviser were well imitated, many industrious people might be put
+to work. Little Mr. Dactile, now in the room, who formerly writ a song
+and a half, is a week gone in a very pretty work upon this hint: he is
+writing an epigram to a young virgin who knits very well ('tis a
+thousand pities he is a Jacobite); but his epigram is by way of advice
+to this damsel, to knit all the actions of the Pretender and the Duke of
+Burgundy last campaign in the clock of a stocking. It were endless to
+enumerate the many hands and trades that may be employed by poets, of so
+useful a turn as this adviser's. I shall think of it; and in this time
+of taxes, shall consult a great critic employed in the custom-house, in
+order to propose what tax may be proper to put upon knives, seals,
+rings, hangings, wrought-beds, gowns and petticoats, where any of those
+commodities bear mottoes, or are worked upon poetical grounds.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, April 15.
+
+Letters from Turin of the 3rd instant, N.S., inform us, that his Royal
+Highness employs all his address in alarming the enemy, and perplexing
+their speculations concerning his real designs the ensuing campaign.
+Contracts are entered into with the merchants of Milan, for a great
+number of mules to transport his provisions and ammunition. His Royal
+Highness has ordered the train of artillery to be conveyed to Susa
+before the 20th of the next month. In the meantime, all accounts agree,
+that the enemy are very backward in their preparations, and almost
+incapable of defending themselves against an invasion, by reason of the
+general murmurs of their own people; which, they find, are no way to be
+quieted, but by giving them hopes of a speedy peace. When these letters
+were dispatched, the Marshal de Thesse was arrived at Genoa, where he
+has taken much pains to keep the correspondents of the merchants of
+France in hopes, that measures will be found out to support the credit
+and commerce between that state and Lyons. But the late declaration of
+the agents of Monsieur Bernard, that they cannot discharge the demands
+made upon them, has quite dispirited all those who are engaged in the
+remittances of France.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, April 15.
+
+It is a very natural passion in all good members of the commonwealth, to
+take what care they can of their families. Therefore I hope the reader
+will forgive me, that I desire he would go to the play, called the
+"Stratagem,"[93] this evening, which is to be acted for the benefit of
+my near kinsman, Mr. John Bickerstaff.[94] I protest to you the
+gentleman has not spoken to me to desire this favour; but I have a
+respect for him, as well in regard to consanguinity, as that he is an
+intimate friend of that famous and heroic actor, Mr. George Powell, who
+formerly played Alexander the Great in all places, though he is lately
+grown so reserved as to act it only on the stage.[95]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 85: By Wycherley, first acted in 1683.]
+
+[Footnote 86: Mrs. Bicknell (or Bignell) was born about 1695. It is not
+clear whether she was married, or whether the name Bicknell was taken to
+distinguish her from her sister, Mrs. Young, who was also an actress. We
+first hear of her acting in 1706; she took parts in which sauciness and
+coquetry were the chief features. Her last recorded appearance was on
+the 2nd of April, 1723; and she died in May. She signed a petition "M.
+Bicknell"; probably her name was Margaret, her mother's name. Steele
+alludes to her as "pretty Mrs. Bignell" in No. 11, and as his friend in
+the _Guardian_, No. 50. She was Miss Prue in Congreve's "Love for Love,"
+and Miss Hoyden in Vanbrugh's "Relapse." In the _Spectator_ (No. 370)
+Steele praises her dancing.]
+
+[Footnote 87: Cibber writes thus of this actress: "Mrs. Mountford, whose
+second marriage gave her the name of Verbruggen, was mistress of more
+variety of humour than I ever knew in any one woman actress. This
+variety, too, was attended with an equal vivacity, which made her
+excellent in characters extremely different.... She was so fond of
+humour, in what low part soever to be found, that she would make no
+scruple of defacing her fair form to come heartily into it." She could
+act admirably as a Devonshire lass, a pretty fellow, or a fine lady.
+Mrs. Verbruggen's first husband, the actor Mountford, was killed by
+Captain Hill, with the assistance of Lord Mohun, in 1692, because Hill,
+who was making unsuccessful suit to Mrs. Bracegirdle was jealous of her
+fellow-actor. Mountford was then in his thirty-third year. Mrs.
+Mountford's second husband, John Verbruggen, is described by Tony Aston
+as "nature without extravagance." ... "That rough diamond shone more
+bright than all the artful polished brilliants that ever sparkled on our
+stage." The same writer says of Mrs. Verbruggen: "She was all art, but
+dressed so nice, it looked like nature. She was the most easy actress in
+the world. Her maiden name was Percival."]
+
+[Footnote 88: Various Societies for the Reformation of Manners were
+founded in the reign of William III. An "Account" of these societies was
+published in 1699, and Defoe often wrote on the subject. In 1708 the
+Society for London and Westminster secured the conviction of 3299 "lewd
+and scandalous" persons, guilty of Sunday trading swearing, drunkenness,
+&c.]
+
+[Footnote 89: See Steele's apology to Blackmore, author of this poem, in
+No. 14. Sir Richard Blackmore (died 1729) was a Whig physician who wrote
+epics on religious and other subjects, and was often at loggerheads with
+the actors and wits. Though he was not a poet, Addison and Steele
+praised him on account of the religious tone of his work (see
+_Spectator_, Nos. 6, 339).]
+
+[Footnote 90: Vanderbank, or as his father sometimes wrote his name,
+Vandrebanc, was a son of Peter Vanderbank, a Parisian, who came into
+England with Gascar the painter, about 1674, and died at Bradfield, in
+Hertfordshire, in 1697. His father was admired for the softness of his
+prints, and still more for the size of them, some of his heads being the
+largest that had then appeared in England; but the prices he received by
+no means compensated for the time employed on his works, and he was
+reduced to want, and died at the house of Mr. Forester, his
+brother-in-law. After his death, his widow sold his plates to one Brown,
+a print-seller, who made a great profit by them. His eldest son had some
+share in the theatre at Dublin; the youngest, William, was a poor
+labourer, who gave an account of his father and the family to Vertue.
+The person mentioned in this paper was probably his father's name-son,
+and might be, as Walpole conjectures, an engraver. Whatever concern the
+father might have had in any manufacture of tapestry, he could not be
+the person meant here, for at this time he had been dead above ten
+years. The suite of tapestry, in the Duke of Ancaster's sale, with
+Vanderbank's name to it, mentioned by Walpole, must therefore be
+supposed to belong to the son, who is said, upon the authority of the
+French translator of the _Tatler_, to have represented nature very
+happily in works of tapestry, and to have been a man inimitable in this
+way. (See Walpole's "Anecdotes of Painting," 1782, vol. v. p. 166.)]
+
+[Footnote 91: Trick (the early editions have "gigg").]
+
+[Footnote 92: Waller wrote "Instructions to a Painter" and "Advice to a
+Painter," and Denham "Directions to a Painter."]
+
+[Footnote 93: Farquhar's "Beaux' Stratagem," 1707.]
+
+[Footnote 94: Bickerstaff acted the part of the Captain in Mrs.
+Centlivre's farce, "A Bickerstaff's Burying; or, Work for the Upholders"
+(1713), which was dedicated to the "magnificent Company of Upholders,
+whom the judicious Censor of Great Britain has so often condescended to
+mention." In the "British Apollo," vol. ii. No. 107 (Feb. 27 to March 1,
+1710), is a "New Prologue to 'Don Quixote' for Mr. Bickerstaff's Benefit
+at the Theatre Royal, spoken by himself." The prologue ends:
+
+    "I need not from the ladies fear my doom,
+    When it shall thus be said, in my behalf,
+    He bears the awful name of BICKERSTAFF."
+
+In the _Daily Courant_ for Feb. 4, 1710, there was advertised a
+performance of the "Comical History of Don Quixote" at Drury Lane, "at
+the desire of Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., for the benefit of his cousin,
+John Bickerstaff."]
+
+[Footnote 95: George Powell, actor and dramatist, gave way often to
+drink. He died in 1714. Addison praised his acting of tragic parts in
+No. 40 of the _Spectator_. See also No. 31. An order to the comedians in
+Dorset Gardens forbade them acting till further order, because they had
+allowed Powell to play after he was committed for drawing his sword on
+Colonel Stanhope and Mr. Davenant. This is dated May 3, 10 Will. III.
+(1698); but on May 4 there was another order for the comedians to resume
+acting. (Lord Chamberlain's Records, Warrant Book No. 19, p. 80.)
+Cibber's remarks on this incident will be found in his "Apology," chap.
+x.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 4. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday April 16_, to _Tuesday, April 19, 1709_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It is usual with persons who mount the stage for the cure or information
+of the crowd about them, to make solemn professions of their being
+wholly disinterested in the pains they take for the public good. At the
+same time, those very men, who make harangues in plush doublets, and
+extol their own abilities and generous inclinations, tear their lungs in
+vending a drug, and show no act of bounty, except it be, that they lower
+a demand of a crown, to six, nay, to one penny. We have a contempt for
+such paltry barterers, and have therefore all along informed the public
+that we intend to give them our advices for our own sakes, and are
+labouring to make our lucubrations come to some price in money, for our
+more convenient support in the service of the public. It is certain,
+that many other schemes have been proposed to me; as a friend offered to
+show me a treatise he had writ, which he called "The Whole Art of Life,
+or the Introduction to Great Men, illustrated in a Pack of Cards." But
+being a novice at all manner of play I declined the offer. Another
+advised me, for want of money, to set up my coach and practise physic,
+but having been bred a scholar, I feared I should not succeed that way
+neither; therefore resolved to go on in my present project. But you are
+to understand, that I shall not pretend to raise a credit to this work,
+upon the weight of my politic news only, but, as my Latin sentence in
+the title-page informs you, shall take anything that offers for the
+subject of my discourse. Thus, new persons, as well as new things, are
+to come under my consideration; as, when a toast, or a wit, is first
+pronounced such, you shall have the freshest advice of their preferment
+from me, with a description of the beauty's manner, and the wit's style;
+as also, in whose places they are advanced. For this town is never
+good-natured enough to raise one, without depressing another. But it is
+my design, to avoid saying anything, of any person, which ought justly
+to displease; but shall endeavour, by the variety of the matter and
+style, to give entertainment for men of pleasure, without offence to
+those of business.
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, April 18.
+
+All hearts at present pant for two ladies only[96], who have for some
+time engrossed the dominion of the town. They are indeed both exceeding
+charming, but differ very much in their excellences. The beauty of
+Clarissa is soft, that of Chloe piercing. When you look at Clarissa,
+you see the most exact harmony of feature, complexion, and shape; you
+find in Chloe nothing extraordinary in any one of those particulars, but
+the whole woman irresistible. Clarissa looks languishing; Chloe,
+killing. Clarissa never fails of gaining admiration; Chloe, of moving
+desire. The gazers at Clarissa are at first unconcerned, as if they were
+observing a fine picture. They who behold Chloe, at the first glance,
+discover transport, as if they met their dearest friend. These different
+perfections are suitably represented by the last great painter Italy has
+sent us, Mr. Jervas.[97] Clarissa is, by that skilful hand, placed in a
+manner that looks artless, and innocent of the torments she gives; Chloe
+drawn with a liveliness that shows she is conscious, but not affected,
+of her perfections. Clarissa is a shepherdess; Chloe, a country girl. I
+must own, the design of Chloe's picture shows, to me, great mastery in
+the painter; for nothing could be better imagined than the dress he has
+given her, of a straw hat and riband, to represent that sort of beauty
+which enters the heart with a certain familiarity, and cheats it into a
+belief, that it has received a lover as well as an object of love. The
+force of their different beauties is seen also in the effects it makes
+on their lovers. The admirers of Chloe are eternally gay and
+well-pleased: those of Clarissa, melancholy and thoughtful. And as this
+passion always changes the natural man into a quite different creature
+from what he was before, the love of Chloe makes coxcombs; that of
+Clarissa, madmen. There were of each kind just now here. Here was one
+that whistles, laughs, sings, and cuts capers, for love of Chloe.
+Another has just now written three lines to Clarissa, then taken a turn
+in the garden, then came back again, then tore his fragment, then called
+for some chocolate, then went away without it.
+
+Chloe has so many admirers in the room at present, that there is too
+much noise to proceed in my narration, so that the progress of the loves
+of Clarissa and Chloe, together with the bottles that are drank each
+night for the one, and the many sighs which are uttered, and songs
+written, on the other, must be our subject on future occasions.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, April 18.
+
+Letters from the Haymarket inform us, that on Saturday night last the
+opera of "Pyrrhus and Demetrius"[98] was performed with great applause.
+This intelligence is not very acceptable to us friends of the theatre;
+for the stage being an entertainment of the reason and all our
+faculties, this way of being pleased with the suspense of them for three
+hours together, and being given up to the shallow satisfaction of the
+eyes and ears only, seems to arise rather from the degeneracy of our
+understanding, than an improvement of our diversions.[99] That the
+understanding has no part in the pleasure is evident, from what these
+letters very positively assert, to wit, that a great part of the
+performance was done in Italian: and a great critic fell into fits in
+the gallery, at feeling, not only time and place, but languages and
+nations confused in the most incorrigible manner. His spleen is so
+extremely moved on this occasion, that he is going to publish a treatise
+against operas, which, he thinks, have already inclined us to thoughts
+of peace, and if tolerated, must infallibly dispirit us from carrying on
+the war. He has communicated his scheme to the whole room, and declared
+in what manner things of this kind were first introduced. He has upon
+this occasion considered the nature of sounds in general, and made a
+very elaborate digression upon the London cries,[100] wherein he has
+shown from reason and philosophy why oysters are cried,
+card-matches[101] sung, and turnips and all other vegetables neither
+cried, sung, nor said, but sold, with an accent and tone neither natural
+to man or beast. This piece seems to be taken from the model of that
+excellent discourse of Mrs. Manly the schoolmistress, concerning
+samplers.[102] Advices from the upper end of Piccadilly say that Mayfair
+is utterly abolished;[103] and we hear Mr. Pinkethman[104] has removed
+his ingenious company of strollers to Greenwich: but other letters from
+Deptford say, the company is only making thither, and not yet settled;
+but that several heathen gods and goddesses, which are to descend in
+machines, landed at the King's Head Stairs last Saturday. Venus and
+Cupid went on foot from thence to Greenwich; Mars got drunk in the town,
+and broke his landlord's head; for which he sat in the stocks the whole
+evening; but Mr. Pinkethman giving security that he should do nothing
+this ensuing summer, he was set at liberty. The most melancholy part of
+all, was, that Diana was taken in the act of fornication with a boatman,
+and committed by Justice Wrathful, which has, it seems, put a stop to
+the diversions of the theatre of Blackheath. But there goes down another
+Diana and a patient Grissel next tide from Billingsgate.[105]
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, April 18.
+
+They write from Saxony of the 13th instant, N.S., that the Grand General
+of the Crown of Poland was so far from entering into a treaty with King
+Stanislaus, that he had written circular letters, wherein he exhorted
+the Palatinates to join against him; declaring, that this was the most
+favourable conjuncture for asserting their liberty.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 23rd instant, N.S., say, they have advices
+from Vienna, which import, that his Electoral Highness of Hanover had
+signified to the Imperial Court, that he did not intend to put himself
+at the head of the troops of the Empire, except more effectual measures
+were taken for acting vigorously against the enemy the ensuing campaign.
+Upon this representation, the Emperor has given orders to several
+regiments to march towards the Rhine, and despatched expresses to the
+respective princes of the Empire to desire an augmentation of their
+forces.
+
+These letters add, that an express arrived at the Hague on the 20th
+instant, with advice, that the enemy having made a detachment from
+Tournay of 1500 horse, each trooper carrying a foot-soldier behind him,
+in order to surprise the garrison of Alost; the allies, upon notice of
+their march, sent out a strong body of troops from Ghent, which engaged
+the enemy at Asche, and took 200 of them prisoners, obliging the rest to
+retire without making any further attempt. On the 22nd in the morning a
+fleet of merchant ships coming from Scotland, were attacked by six
+French privateers at the entrance of the Meuse. We have yet no certain
+advice of the event: but letters from Rotterdam say, that a Dutch
+man-of-war of forty guns, which was convoy to the said fleet, was taken,
+as were also eighteen of the merchants. The Swiss troops, in the
+service of the States, have completed the augmentation of their
+respective companies. Those of Wirtemberg and Prussia are expected on
+the frontiers within few days; and the auxiliaries from Saxony, as also
+a battalion of Holstein, and another of Wolfembuttel, are advancing
+thither with all expedition. On the 21st instant, the deputies of the
+States had a conference near Woerden with the President Rouillé, but the
+matter which was therein debated is not made public. His Grace the Duke
+of Marlborough and Prince Eugene continue at the Hague.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, April 18.
+
+I have lately been very studious for intelligence, and have just now, by
+my astrological flying-post, received a packet from Felicia,[106] an
+island in America, with an account that gives me great satisfaction, and
+lets me understand that the island was never in greater prosperity, or
+the administration in so good hands, since the death of their late
+valiant king. These letters import, that the chief minister has entered
+into a firm league with the ablest and best men of the nation, to carry
+on the cause of liberty, to the encouragement of religion, virtue, and
+honour. Those persons at the helm are so useful, and in themselves of
+such weight, that their strict alliance must needs tend to the universal
+prosperity of the people. Camillo,[107] it seems, presides over the
+deliberations of state; and is so highly valued by all men, for his
+singular probity, courage, affability, and love of mankind, that his
+being placed in that station has dissipated the fears of that people,
+who of all the world are the most jealous of their liberty and
+happiness. The next member of their society is Horatio,[108] who makes
+all the public despatches. This minister is master of all the languages
+in use to great perfection: he is held in the highest veneration
+imaginable for a severe honesty, and love of his country: he lives in a
+court, unsullied with any of its artifices, the refuge of the oppressed,
+and terror of oppressors. Martio[109] has joined himself to this
+council; a man of most undaunted resolution and great knowledge in
+maritime affairs; famous for destroying the navy of the Franks,[110] and
+singularly happy in one particular, that he never preferred a man who
+has not proved remarkably serviceable to his country. Philander[111] is
+mentioned with particular distinction; a nobleman who has the most
+refined taste of the true pleasures and elegance of life, joined to an
+indefatigable industry in business; a man eloquent in assemblies,
+agreeable in conversation, and dextrous in all manner of public
+negotiations. These letters add, that Verono,[112] who is also of this
+council, has lately set sail to his government of Patricia, with design
+to confirm the affections of the people in the interests of his queen.
+This minister is master of great abilities, and is as industrious and
+restless for the preservation of the liberties of the people, as the
+greatest enemy can be to subvert them. The influence of these
+personages, who are men of such distinguished parts and virtues, makes
+the people enjoy the utmost tranquillity in the midst of a war, and
+gives them undoubted hopes of a secure peace from their vigilance and
+integrity.[113]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 96: In a copy of the original edition of the _Tatler_, with
+MS. notes written early in the last century, which was sold at Messrs.
+Sotheby's, in April, 1887, the ladies here described were said to be
+Mrs. Chetwine and Mrs. Hales respectively. Mrs. Hales was a maid of
+honour who married Mr. Coke, vice-chamberlain, in July, 1709 (Luttrell's
+"Brief Relation," vi. 462); "Mrs. Chetwine" was probably the wife of
+William Richard Chetwynd, afterwards third Viscount Chetwynd, who
+married Honora, daughter of John Baker, Consul at Algiers; or the wife
+of his brother Walter, M.P. for Stafford, and Master of the Buckhounds.
+In 1717, Lady M. W. Montagu, describing a week spent by a fashionable
+lady, said, 'Friday, Mrs. Chetwynd's, &c.; a perpetual round of hearing
+the same scandal' (Pope's Works, ix. 385).]
+
+[Footnote 97: Charles Jervas, portrait painter (died 1739), became
+principal painter to George I. and George II. He also made a translation
+of "Don Quixote," first published in 1742.]
+
+[Footnote 98: A translation of Owen McSwiney (1709) from the Italian of
+Scarlatti.]
+
+[Footnote 99: In the _Spectator_ (Nos. 1, 5, 13, &c.) Addison often
+wrote against the Italian opera. In 1706, Dennis published "An Essay on
+the Operas after the Italian Manner, which are about to be established
+on the English Stage: with some reflections on the damage which they may
+bring to the Public." He traces to the recent alterations in the
+entertainments of the stage, the fact that familiar conversation among
+all classes was confined to two points, news and toasting, neither of
+which required much intelligence.]
+
+[Footnote 100: The street cries of 1709 are described in Lauron's
+"Habits and Cries of the City of London." They included "Any
+card-matches or save-alls" and "Twelve-pence a peck, oysters."]
+
+[Footnote 101: Matches made by dipping pieces of card in melted sulphur.
+In the _Spectator_ (No. 251), Addison speaks of vendors of card-matches
+as examples of the fact that those made most noise who had least to
+sell.]
+
+[Footnote 102: In vol. ii. of Dr. W. King's Works (1776) is "An Essay on
+the Invention of Samplers, by Mrs. Arabella Manly, schoolmistress at
+Hackney."]
+
+[Footnote 103: May Fair was abolished in 1709, after it had on several
+occasions been presented as a nuisance by the Grand Jury at Westminster.
+This fair was granted by King James II. under the Great Seal, in the
+fourth year of his reign, to Sir John Coell and his heirs for ever, in
+trust for Henry Lord Dover and his heirs for ever, to be held in the
+field called Brookfield, in the parish of St. Martin's, Westminster, to
+commence on the first day of May, and to continue fifteen days yearly.
+It soon became the resort of the idle, the dissipated, and the
+profligate, insomuch that the peace-officers were frequently opposed in
+the performance of their duty; and, in the year 1702, John Cooper, one
+of the constables, was killed, for which a fencing-master, named Cook,
+was executed. (See also No. 20.) The fair was revived under George I.,
+but was finally abolished through the exertions of the sixth Earl of
+Coventry.]
+
+[Footnote 104: William Pinkethman, the popular actor and droll, was
+spoken of by Gildon as "the flower of Bartholomew Fair, and the idol of
+the rabble." In June, 1710, he opened a theatre at Greenwich, and in
+1711 his "wonderful invention called The Pantheon, or, The Temple of the
+Heathen Gods," with over 100 figures, was to be seen in the Little
+Piazza, Covent Garden (_Spectator_, No. 46, advertisement).]
+
+[Footnote 105: "It is credibly reported that Mr. D----y has agreed with
+Mr. Pinkethman to have his play acted before that audience as soon as it
+has had its first sixteen days' run in Drury Lane" (folio). The play was
+D'Urfey's "Modern Prophets."]
+
+[Footnote 106: Britain.]
+
+[Footnote 107: John, Lord Somers, President of the Council.]
+
+[Footnote 108: Sidney, Lord Godolphin, the Lord High Treasurer; or
+(according to the MS. notes in the copy mentioned above) Lord
+Sunderland.]
+
+[Footnote 109: Edward, Earl of Orford.]
+
+[Footnote 110: At La Hogue, 1692.]
+
+[Footnote 111: Probably Lord Halifax.]
+
+[Footnote 112: Thomas, Earl of Wharton, Lord Lieutenant of Ireland.]
+
+[Footnote 113: "Advertisement.--Upon the humble petition of Running
+Stationers, &c., this paper maybe had of them, for the future, at the
+price of one penny" (folio). The first four numbers were distributed
+gratuitously.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 5. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, April 19_, to _Thursday, April 21_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, April 20.
+
+    _Who names that lost thing, love, without a tear,
+    Since so debauched by ill-bred customs here,
+    To an exact perfection they have brought
+    The action, love, the passion is forgot._
+
+This was long ago a witty author's lamentation, but the evil still
+continues; and if a man of any delicacy were to attend the discourses of
+the young fellows of this age, they would believe there were none but
+prostitutes to make the objects of passion. So true it is what the
+author of the above verses said, a little before his death, of the
+modern pretenders to gallantry: "They set up for wits in this age, by
+saying when they are sober, what they of the last spoke only when they
+were drunk." But Cupid is not only blind at present, but dead-drunk, he
+has lost all his faculties: else how should Celia be so long a maid with
+that agreeable behaviour? Corinna, with that uprightly wit? Lesbia, with
+that heavenly voice? And Sacharissa, with all those excellences in one
+person, frequent the park, the play, and murder the poor tits that drag
+her to public places, and not a man turn pale at her appearance? But
+such is the fallen state of love, that if it were not for honest
+Cynthio,[114] who is true to the cause, we should hardly have a pattern
+left of the ancient worthies that way: and indeed he has but very little
+encouragement to persevere; but he has a devotion, rather than love, for
+his mistress; and says,
+
+    Only tell her that I love,
+      Leave the rest to her, and Fate;
+    Some kind planet from above,
+    May, perhaps, her passsion move:
+      Lovers on their stars must wait.[115]
+
+But the stars I am so intimately acquainted with, that I can assure him,
+he will never have her: for would you believe it, though Cynthio has
+wit, good sense, fortune, and his very being depends on her, the
+termagant for whom he sighs, is in love with a fellow, who stares in the
+glass all the time he is with her, and lets her plainly see, she may
+possibly be his rival, but never his mistress. Yet Cynthio, the same
+unhappy man whom I mentioned in my first narrative, pleases himself with
+a vain imagination, that with the language of his eyes, now he has found
+who she is, he shall conquer her, though her eyes are intent upon one
+who looks from her; which is ordinary with the sex. It is certainly a
+mistake in the ancients, to draw the little gentleman, Love, as a blind
+boy; for his real character is, a little thief that squints. For ask
+Mrs. Meddle, who is a confidante, or spy, upon all the passions in town,
+and she will tell you, that the whole is a game of cross purposes. The
+lover is generally pursuing one who is in pursuit of another, and
+running from one that desires to meet him. Nay, the figure of this
+passion is so justly represented in a squinting little thief (who is
+always in a double action) that do but observe Clarissa next time you
+see her, and you'll find, when her eyes have made their tour round the
+company, she makes no stay on him they say she is to marry, but rests
+two seconds of a minute on Wildair, who neither looks nor thinks on her,
+or any woman else. However, Cynthio had a bow from her the other day,
+upon which he is very much come to himself; and I heard him send his man
+of an errand yesterday without any manner of hesitation; a quarter of an
+hour after which he reckoned twenty, remembered he was to sup with a
+friend, and went exactly to his appointment. I sent to know how he did
+this morning, and I find he very perfectly remembers that he spoke to me
+yesterday.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, April 20.
+
+This week[116] being sacred to holy things, and no public diversions
+allowed, there has been taken notice of, even here, a little treatise,
+called, "A Project for the Advancement of Religion; dedicated to the
+Countess of Berkeley."[117] The title was so uncommon, and promised so
+peculiar a way of thinking, that every man here has read it, and as
+many as have done so, have approved it. It is written with the spirit of
+one, who has seen the world enough to undervalue it with good breeding.
+The author must certainly be a man of wisdom, as well as piety, and have
+spent much time in the exercise of both. The real causes of the decay of
+the interest of religion, are set forth in a clear and lively manner,
+without unseasonable passions; and the whole air of the book, as to the
+language, the sentiments, and the reasonings, show it was written by one
+whose virtue sits easy about him, and to whom vice is thoroughly
+contemptible. It was said by one of this company,[118] alluding to the
+knowledge the author seems to have of the world, "The man writes much
+like a gentleman, and goes to heaven with a very good mien."
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, April 20.
+
+Letters from Italy say, that the Marquis de Prie, upon the receipt of an
+express from the Court of Vienna, went immediately to the palace of
+Cardinal Paulucci, minister of state to his Holiness, and demanded in
+the name of his Imperial Majesty, that King Charles should be forthwith
+acknowledged king of Spain, by a solemn act of the congregation of
+cardinals appointed for that purpose: he declared at the same time, that
+if the least hesitation were made in this most important article of the
+late treaty, he should not only be obliged to leave Rome himself, but
+also transmit his master's orders to the imperial troops to face about,
+and return into the ecclesiastical dominions. When the cardinal reported
+this message to the Pope, he was struck with so sensible an affliction,
+that he burst into tears. His sorrow was aggravated by letters which
+immediately after arrived from the Court of Madrid, wherein his Nuncio
+acquainted his Holiness, that upon the news of his accommodation with
+the Emperor, he had received a message to forbear coming to Court; and
+the people were so highly provoked, that they could hardly be restrained
+from insulting his palace. These letters add, that the King of Denmark
+was gone from Florence to Pisa, and from Pisa to Leghorn, where the
+governor paid his Majesty all imaginable honours. The king designed to
+go from thence to Lucca, where a magnificent tournament was prepared for
+his diversion. An English man-of-war, which came from Port Mahon to
+Leghorn in six days, brought advice, that the fleet commanded by Admiral
+Whitaker, was safely arrived at Barcelona, with the troops and
+ammunition which he had taken in at Naples.
+
+General Boneval, Governor of Commacchio, had summoned the magistrates of
+all the towns near that place to appear before him, and take an oath of
+fidelity to his Imperial Majesty, commanding also the gentry to pay him
+homage, on pain of death and confiscation of goods. Advices from
+Switzerland inform us, that the bankers of Geneva were utterly ruined by
+the failure of Mr. Bernard. They add, that the deputies of the Swiss
+Cantons were returned from Solleure, where they were assembled at the
+instance of the French Ambassador; but were very much dissatisfied with
+the reception they had from that minister. 'Tis true, he omitted no
+civilities, or expressions of friendship from his master, but he took no
+notice of their pensions and arrears; what further provoked their
+indignation, was, that instead of twenty-five pistoles formerly allowed
+to each member, for their charge in coming to the Diet, he had
+presented them with six only. They write from Dresden, that King
+Augustus was still busy in recruiting his cavalry, and that the Danish
+troops, which lately served in Hungary, had orders to be in Saxony in
+the middle of May, and that his Majesty of Denmark was expected at
+Dresden in the beginning of that month. King Augustus makes great
+preparations for his reception, and has appointed sixty coaches, each
+drawn by six horses for that purpose: the interview of these princes
+affords great matter for speculation. Letters from Paris of the 22nd of
+this month say, that Mareschal Harcourt and the Duke of Berwick were
+preparing to go into Alsace and Dauphine, but that their troops were in
+want of all manner of necessaries. The Court of France had received
+advices from Madrid, that on the 7th of this month, the States of Spain
+had with much magnificence acknowledged the Prince of Asturias
+presumptive heir of the crown. This was performed at Buen Retiro; the
+deputies took the oaths on that occasion by the hands of Cardinal
+Portocarrero. Those advices add, that it was signified to the Pope's
+Nuncio, by order of council, to depart from that Court in twenty-four
+hours, and that a guard was accordingly appointed to conduct him to
+Bayonne.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 26th instant inform us, that Prince Eugene
+was to set out the next day for Brussels, to put all things in a
+readiness for opening the campaign. They add, that the Grand Pensioner
+having reported to the Duke of Marlborough what passed in the last
+conference with Mr. Rouillé,[119] his Grace had taken a resolution
+immediately to return to Great Britain, to communicate to her Majesty
+all that has been transacted in that important affair.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, April 20.
+
+The nature of my miscellaneous work is such, that I shall always take
+the liberty to tell for news such things (let them have happened never
+so much before the time of writing) as have escaped public notice, or
+have been misrepresented to the world, provided that I am still within
+rules, and trespass not as a Tatler any further than in an incorrectness
+of style, and writing in an air of common speech. Thus if anything that
+is said, even of old Anchises or Æneas, be set by me in a different
+light than has hitherto been hit upon, in order to inspire the love and
+admiration of worthy actions, you will, gentle reader, I hope, accept of
+it for intelligence you had not before. But I am going upon a narrative,
+the matter of which I know to be true: it is not only doing justice to
+the deceased merit[120] of such persons, as, had they lived, would not
+have had it in their power to thank me, but also an instance of the
+greatness of spirit in the lowest of her Majesty's subjects; take it as
+follows:
+
+At the siege of Namur by the Allies, there were in the ranks of the
+company commanded by Captain Pincent, in Colonel Frederick Hamilton's
+regiment, one Unnion a corporal, and one Valentine a private sentinel:
+there happened between these two men a dispute about a matter of love,
+which, upon some aggravations, grew to an irreconcilable hatred. Unnion
+being the officer of Valentine, took all opportunities even to strike
+his rival, and profess the spite and revenge which moved him to it. The
+sentinel bore it without resistance, but frequently said he would die to
+be revenged of that tyrant. They had spent whole months thus, one
+injuring, the other complaining; when in the midst of this rage towards
+each other, they were commanded upon the attack of the castle, where the
+corporal received a shot in the thigh, and fell; the French pressing on,
+and he expecting to be trampled to death, called out to his enemy, "Ah,
+Valentine! Can you leave me here?" Valentine immediately ran back, and
+in the midst of a thick fire of the French, took the corporal upon his
+back, and brought him through all that danger as far as the Abbey of
+Salsine, where a cannon-ball took off his head: his body fell under his
+enemy whom he was carrying off Unnion immediately forgot his wound, rose
+up, tearing his hair, and then threw himself upon the bleeding carcass,
+crying, "Ah, Valentine! Was it for me, who have so barbarously used
+thee, that thou hast died? I will not Jive after thee." He was not by
+any means to be forced from the body, but was removed with it bleeding
+in his arms, and attended with tears by all their comrades, who knew
+their enmity. When he was brought to a tent, his wounds were dressed by
+force; but the next day, still calling upon Valentine, and lamenting his
+cruelties to him, he died in the pangs of remorse and despair.
+
+It may be a question among men of noble sentiments, whether of these
+unfortunate persons had the greater soul; he that was so generous as to
+venture his life for his enemy, or he who could not survive the man that
+died, in laying upon him such an obligation?
+
+When we see spirits like these in a people, to what heights may we not
+suppose their glory may arise, but (as it is excellently observed by
+Sallust[121]) it is not only to the general bent of a nation that great
+revolutions are owing, but to the extraordinary genios[122] that lead
+them. On which occasion he proceeds to say that the Roman greatness was
+neither to be attributed to their superior policy, for in that the
+Carthaginians excelled; nor to their valour, for in that the French were
+preferable; but to particular men, who were born for the good of their
+country, and formed for great attempts. This he says, to introduce the
+characters of Cassar and Cato. It would be entering into too weighty a
+discourse for this place, if I attempted to show that our nation has
+produced as great and able men for public affairs, as any other. But I
+believe the reader outruns me, and fixes his imagination upon the Duke
+of Marlborough. It is, methinks, a pleasing reflection, to consider the
+dispensations of Providence in the fortune of this illustrious man, who,
+in the space of forty years, has passed through all the gradations of
+human life, till he has ascended to the character of a prince, and
+become the scourge of a tyrant, who sat in one of the greatest thrones
+of Europe, before the man who was to have the greatest part in his
+downfall had made one step in the world.[123] But such elevations are
+the natural consequences of an exact prudence, a calm courage, a
+well-governed temper, a patient ambition, and an affable behaviour.
+These arts, as they are the steps to his greatness, so they are the
+pillars of it now it is raised. To this her glorious son, Great Britain
+is indebted for the happy conduct of her arms, in whom she can boast,
+she has produced a man formed by nature to lead a nation of heroes.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 114: Edward Richard Montagu, styled Viscount Hinchinbroke, who
+died before his father, on October 3, 1722, was the only son of Edward,
+third Earl of Sandwich. He was born about 1690, and became colonel of
+the First Regiment of Foot Guards, and Lord Lieutenant of
+Huntingdonshire. In 1707, he married Elizabeth, daughter of Alexander
+Popham, of Littlecot, Wilts, and of Anne, daughter of the first Duke of
+Montagu. (See Nos. 1, 22, 35, 85, and the _Lover_, No. 38.)]
+
+[Footnote 115: These lines are part of a song by Lord Cutts, under whom
+Steele had served as secretary when in the army. The verses will be
+found in Nichols' "Select Collection" (1780), ii. 327.]
+
+[Footnote 116: Passion Week.]
+
+[Footnote 117: First published as "By a Person of Quality." "The
+gentleman I here intended was Dr. Swift, this kind of man I thought him
+at that time. We have not met of late, but I hope he deserves this
+character still." (Steele's "Apology," 1714.) This pamphlet is closely
+in accord with the _Tatler_ in its condemnation of gaming, drunkenness,
+swearing, immorality on the stage, and other evils of the time. Swift
+suggests, too, a revival of censors.]
+
+[Footnote 118: Forster suggests that it was Addison.]
+
+[Footnote 119: See No. 1.]
+
+[Footnote 120: This phrase, as well as Unnion's forgetting his wound, is
+criticised in a little book called, "Annotations on the _Tatler_, in two
+parts," 12mo, said to have been written originally in French by Monsieur
+Bournelle, and translated into English by Walter Wagstaff, Esq. London,
+Bernard Lintott, 1710. The annotator goes no farther with his
+annotations than to _Tatler_ No. 83. See Nos. 78, 191.]
+
+[Footnote 121: "Bell. Catal.," c. 53.]
+
+[Footnote 122: "A man of a particular turn of mind" (Johnson).]
+
+[Footnote 123: In 1705, after the battle of Blenheim, Marlborough was
+made Prince of Mildenheim by the Emperor. Lewis XIV. succeeded to the
+French throne in 1643; Marlborough was born in 1650.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 6. [STEELE.
+
+From _Thursday, April 21_, to _Saturday, April 23_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, April 22.
+
+I am just come from visiting Sappho,[124] a fine lady, who writes
+verses, sings, dances and can say and do whatever she pleases, without
+the imputation of anything that can injure her character; for she is so
+well known to have no passion but self-love, or folly, but affectation;
+that now upon any occasion they only cry, "'Tis her way," and "That's so
+like her," without further reflection. As I came into the room, she
+cries, "O Mr. Bickerstaff, I am utterly undone! I have broke that pretty
+Italian fan I showed you when you were here last, wherein were so
+admirably drawn our first parents in Paradise asleep in each other's
+arms." But there is such an affinity between painting and poetry, that I
+have been improving the images which were raised by that picture, by
+reading the same representation in two of our greatest poets. Look you,
+here are the passages in Milton and in Dryden. All Milton's thoughts are
+wonderfully just and natural, in this inimitable description which Adam
+makes of himself in the eighth book of "Paradise Lost." But there is
+none of them finer than that contained in the following lines, where he
+tells us his thoughts when he was falling asleep a little after his
+creation.
+
+    _While thus I called, and strayed I know not whither,
+    From whence I first drew air, and first beheld
+    This happy light; when answer none returned,
+    On a green shady bank, profuse of flowers,
+    Pensive I sate me down, there gentle sleep
+    First found me, and with soft oppression seized
+    My drowned sense, untroubled, though I thought
+    I then was passing to my former state,
+    Insensible, and forthwith to dissolve._[125]
+
+But now I can't forgive this odious thing, this Dryden, who, in his
+"State of Innocence," has given my great-grand-mother Eve the same
+apprehension of annihilation, on a very different occasion, as Adam
+pronounces it of himself, when he was seized with a pleasing kind of
+stupor and deadness, Eve fancies herself falling away, and dissolving in
+the hurry of a rapture. However, the verses are very good, and I don't
+know but it may be natural what she says. I'll read them:
+
+    _When your kind eyes looked languishing on mine,
+    And wreathing arms did soft embraces join,
+    A doubtful trembling seized me first all o'er,
+    Then wishes, and a warmth unknown before;
+    What followed was all extasy and trance,
+    Immortal pleasures round my swimming eyes did dance,
+    And speechless joys, in whose sweet tumults tost,
+    I thought my breath and my new being lost._[126]
+
+She went on, and said a thousand good things at random, but so strangely
+mixed that you would be apt to say all her wit is mere good luck, and
+not the effect of reason and judgment. When I made my escape hither I
+found a gentleman playing the critic on two other great poets, even
+Virgil and Homer.[127] He was observing, that Virgil is more judicious
+than the other in the epithets he gives his hero. "Homer's usual
+epithet," said he, "is Πόδας ὠχὺς [Pódas ôchùs], or Ποδάρχης [Podárchês],
+and his indiscretion has been often rallied by the critics, for
+mentioning the nimbleness of foot in Achilles, though he describes him
+standing, sitting, lying down, fighting, eating, drinking, or in any
+other circumstance, however foreign or repugnant to speed and activity.
+Virgil's common epithet to Æneas, is 'Pius' or 'Pater.' I have therefore
+considered," said he, "what passage there is in any of his hero's actions,
+where either of these appellations would have been most improper, to see
+if I could catch him at the same fault with Homer: and this, I think, is
+his meeting with Dido in the cave, where Pius Æneas would have been
+absurd, and Pater Æneas a burlesque: the poet has therefore wisely
+dropped them both for Dux Trojanus,
+
+    "_Speluncam Dido dux et Trojanus eandem Devenient;_[128]
+
+which he has repeated twice in Juno's speech, and his own narration: for
+he very well knew a loose action might be consistent enough with the
+usual manners of a soldier, though it became neither the chastity of a
+pious man, nor the gravity of the father of a people."
+
+
+Grecian Coffee-house, April 22.
+
+While other parts of the town are amused with the present actions, we
+generally spend the evening at this table in inquiries into antiquity,
+and think anything news which gives us new knowledge. Thus we are making
+a very pleasant entertainment to ourselves, in putting the actions of
+Homer's "Iliad" into an exact journal.
+
+This poem is introduced by Chryses, King of Chryseis, and priest of
+Apollo, who comes to re-demand his daughter, who was carried off at the
+taking of that city, and given to Agamemnon for his part of the booty.
+The refusal he received enrages Apollo, who for nine days showered down
+darts upon them, which occasioned the pestilence.
+
+The tenth day Achilles assembles the council, and encourages Chalcas to
+speak for the surrender of Chryseis to appease Apollo. Agamemnon and
+Achilles storm at one another, notwithstanding which Agamemnon will not
+release his prisoner, unless he has Briseis in her stead. After long
+contestations, wherein Agamemnon gives a glorious character of Achilles'
+valour, he determines to restore Briseis to her father, and sends two
+heralds to fetch away Chryseis from Achilles, who abandons himself to
+sorrow and despair. His mother Thetis came to comfort him under his
+affliction, and promises to represent his sorrowful lamentations to
+Jupiter; but he could not attend it; for the evening before, he had
+appointed to divert himself for two days beyond the seas with the
+harmless Æthiopians.
+
+It was the twenty-first day after Chryseis' arrival to the camp, that
+Thetis went very early to demand an audience of Jupiter. The means he
+uses to satisfy her were, to persuade the Greeks to attack the Trojans;
+that so they might perceive the consequence of condemning Achilles and
+the miseries they suffer if he does not head them. The next night he
+orders Agamemnon, in a dream, to attack them; who was deceived with the
+hopes of obtaining a victory, and also taking the city, without sharing
+the honour with Achilles.
+
+On the 22nd, in the morning, he assembles the council, and having made a
+feint of raising the siege and retiring, he declares to them his dream;
+and, together with Nestor and Ulysses, resolves on an engagement.
+
+This was the twenty-third day, which is full of incidents, and which
+continues from almost the beginning of the second canto to the eighth.
+The armies being then drawn up in view of one another, Hector brings it
+about that Menelaus and Paris, the two persons concerned in the quarrel,
+should decide it by a single combat; which tending to the advantage of
+Menelaus, was interrupted by a cowardice infused by Minerva: then both
+armies engage, where the Trojans have the disadvantage; but being
+afterwards animated by Apollo, they repulse the enemy, yet they are once
+again forced to give ground; but their affairs were retrieved by Hector,
+who has a single combat with Ajax. The gods threw themselves into the
+battle, Juno and Minerva took the Grecians' part, and Apollo and Mars
+the Trojans': but Mars and Venus are both wounded by Diomedes.
+
+The truce for burying the slain ended the twenty-third day; after which
+the Greeks threw up a great entrenchment to secure their navy from
+danger. Councils are held on both sides. On the morning of the
+twenty-fourth day the battle is renewed, but in a very disadvantageous
+manner to the Greeks, who were beaten back to their retrenchments.
+Agamemnon being in despair at this ill success, proposes to the council
+to quit the enterprise and retire from Troy. But by the advice of
+Nestor, he is persuaded to regain Achilles, by returning Chryseis, and
+sending him considerable presents. Hereupon, Ulysses and Ajax are sent
+to that hero, who continues inflexible in his anger. Ulysses, at his
+return, joins himself with Diomedes, and goes in the night to gain
+intelligence of the enemy: they enter into their very camp, where,
+finding the sentinels asleep, they made a great slaughter. Rhesus, who
+was just then arrived with recruits from Thrace for the Trojans, was
+killed in that action. Here ends the tenth canto. The sequel of this
+journal will be inserted in the next article from this place.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, April 22.
+
+We hear from Italy, that notwithstanding the Pope has received a letter
+from the Duke of Anjou, demanding of him to explain himself upon the
+affair of acknowledging King Charles: his Holiness has not yet thought
+fit to send any answer to that prince. The Court of Rome appears very
+much mortified, that they are not to see his Majesty of Denmark in that
+city, having perhaps given themselves vain hopes from a visit made by a
+Protestant priest to that see. The Pope has despatched a gentleman to
+compliment his Majesty, and sent the king a present of all the
+curiosities and antiquities of Rome, represented in seventeen volumes,
+very richly bound, which were taken out of the Vatican library. Letters
+from Genoa of the 14th instant say, a felucca was arrived there in five
+days from Marseilles, with an account, that the people of that city had
+made an insurrection, by reason of the scarcity of provisions, and that
+the Intendant had ordered some companies of marines, and the men
+belonging to the galleys, to stand to their arms to protect him from
+violence; but that he began to be in as much apprehension of his guards
+as those from whom they were to defend him. When that vessel came away,
+the soldiers murmured publicly for want of pay, and it was generally
+believed they would pillage the magazines, as the garrison of Grenoble,
+and other towns of France, had already done. A vessel which lately came
+into Leghorn, brought advice, that the British squadron was arrived at
+Port Mahon, where they were taking in more troops, in order to attempt
+the relief of Alicante, which still made a very vigorous defence. 'Tis
+said, Admiral Byng will be at the head of that expedition. The King of
+Denmark was gone from Leghorn towards Lucca.
+
+They write from Vienna, that in case the Allies should enter into a
+treaty of peace with France, Count Zinzendorf will be appointed first
+plenipotentiary, the Count de Goes the second, and Monsieur van
+Konsbruch a third. Major-General Palmes, Envoy Extraordinary from her
+Britannic Majesty, has been very urgent with that Court to make their
+utmost efforts against France the ensuing campaign, in order to oblige
+it to such a peace, as may establish the tranquillity of Europe for the
+future.
+
+We are also informed, that the Pope uses all imaginable shifts to elude
+the treaty concluded with the Emperor, and that he demanded the
+immediate restitution of Commacchio; insisting also, that his Imperial
+Majesty should ask pardon, and desire absolution for what has formerly
+passed, before he would solemnly acknowledge King Charles: but this was
+utterly refused.
+
+They hear at Vienna, by letters from Constantinople, dated the 22nd of
+February last, that on the 12th of that month the Grand Signior took
+occasion, at the celebration of the festivals of the Mussulmen, to set
+all the Christian slaves which were in the galleys at liberty.
+
+Advices from Switzerland import, that the preachers of the county of
+Tockenburg continue to create new jealousies of the Protestants, and
+some disturbances lately happened there on that account. The Protestants
+and Papists in the town of Hamman go to divine service one after another
+in the same church, as is usual in many other parts of Switzerland; but
+on Sunday, the 10th instant, the Popish curate, having ended his
+service, attempted to hinder the Protestants from entering into the
+church according to custom; but the Protestants briskly attacked him and
+his party, and broke into it by force.
+
+Last night between seven and eight, his Grace the Duke of Marlborough
+arrived at Court.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, April 22.
+
+The present great captains of the age, the Duke of Marlborough and
+Prince Eugene, having been the subject of the discourse of the last
+company I was in, it has naturally led me into a consideration of
+Alexander and Cæsar, the two greatest names which ever appeared before
+this century. In order to enter into their characters, there needs no
+more but examining their behaviour in parallel circumstances. It must be
+allowed, that they had an equal greatness of soul; but Cæsar's was more
+corrected and allayed by a mixture of prudence and circumspection. This
+is seen conspicuously in one particular in their histories, wherein they
+seem to have shown exactly the difference of their tempers. When
+Alexander, after a long course of victories, would still have led his
+soldiers farther from home, they unanimously refused to follow him. We
+meet with the like behaviour in Cæsar's army in the midst of his march
+against Ariovistus. Let us therefore observe the conduct of our two
+generals in so nice an affair: and here we find Alexander at the head of
+his army, upbraiding them with their cowardice, and meanness of spirit;
+and in the end, telling them plainly, he would go forward himself,
+though not a man followed him. This showed indeed an excessive bravery;
+but how would the commander have come off, if the speech had not
+succeeded, and the soldiers had taken him at his word? The project seems
+of a piece with Mr. Bayes' in "The Rehearsal,"[129] who, to gain a clap
+in his prologue, comes out, with a terrible fellow in a fur cap
+following him, and tells his audience, if they would not like his play,
+he would lie down and have his head struck off. If this gained a clap,
+all was well; but if not, there was nothing left but for the executioner
+to do his office. But Cæsar would not leave the success of his speech
+to such uncertain events: he shows his men the unreasonableness of their
+fears in an obliging manner, and concludes, that if none else would
+march along with them, he would go himself with the Tenth Legion, for he
+was assured of their fidelity and valour, though all the rest forsook
+him; not but that in all probability they were as much against the march
+as the rest. The result of all was very natural: the Tenth Legion, fired
+with the praises of their general, send thanks to him for the just
+opinion he entertains of them; and the rest, ashamed to be outdone,
+assure him, that they are as ready to follow where he pleases to lead
+them, as any other part of the army.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 124: It has been suggested, with little or no reason, that
+Sappho is meant for Mrs. Manley (Author of the "New Atalantis"), or Mrs.
+Elizabeth Thomas (known as "Corinna"), or Mrs. Elizabeth Heywood. See
+No. 40.]
+
+[Footnote 125: "Paradise Lost," viii. 283.]
+
+[Footnote 126: Dryden's "State of Innocence and Fall of Man: an Opera,"
+act iii. sc. i. In the _Spectator_ (No. 345), Addison illustrated
+Milton's chaste treatment of the subject of Eve's nuptials by
+contrasting what he says with the account in the opera in which Dryden,
+according to Lee's verses, refined "Milton's golden ore, and new-weaved
+his hard-spun thought."]
+
+[Footnote 127: Addison, on reading here this remark upon Virgil, which
+he himself had communicated to Steele, discovered that his friend was
+the author of the _Tatler_. He was at this time in Ireland, Secretary to
+Lord Wharton, and returned to England with the Lord Lieutenant on the
+8th of September following. (Tickell's Preface to Addison's Works.)]
+
+[Footnote 128: "Æneid," iv. 124.]
+
+[Footnote 129: "The Rehearsal," act i. sc. 2. This play of the Duke of
+Buckingham's was produced in 1671, and the poet Bayes, as finally drawn
+after revision, was a satire on Dryden.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 7. [STEELE
+
+From _Saturday, April 23_, to _Tuesday, April 26_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+It is so just an observation, that mocking is catching, that I am become
+an unhappy instance of it, and am (in the same manner that I have
+represented Mr. Partridge) myself a dying man in comparison of the
+vigour with which I first set out in the world. Had it been otherwise,
+you may be sure I would not have pretended to have given for news, as I
+did last Saturday, a diary of the siege of Troy. But man is a creature
+very inconsistent with himself: the greatest heroes are sometimes
+fearful, the sprightliest wits at some hours dull; and the greatest
+politicians on some occasions whimsical. But I shall not pretend to
+palliate, or excuse the matter; for I find, by a calculation of my own
+nativity, that I cannot hold out with any tolerable wit longer than two
+minutes after twelve o'clock at night, between the 18th and 19th of the
+next month. For which space of time you may still expect to hear from
+me, but no longer, except you will transmit to me the occurrences you
+meet with relating to your amours, or any other subject within the rules
+by which I have proposed to walk. If any gentleman or lady sends to
+Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., at Mr. Morphew's,[130] near Stationers' Hall,
+by the Penny Post, the grief or joy of their soul, what they think fit
+of the matter shall be related in colours as much to their advantage, as
+those in which Jervas[131] has drawn the agreeable Chloe. But since,
+without such assistance, I frankly confess, and am sensible, that I
+have not a month's wit more, I think I ought, while I am in my sound
+health and senses, to make my will and testament; which I do in manner
+and form following:
+
+Imprimis, I give to the stockjobbers about the Exchange of London, as a
+security for the trusts daily reposed in them, all my real estate; which
+I do hereby vest in the said body of worthy citizens for ever.
+
+Item, Forasmuch as it is very hard to keep land in repair without ready
+cash, I do, out of my personal estate, bestow the bearskin,[132] which I
+have frequently lent to several societies about this town, to supply
+their necessities. I say, I give also the said bearskin, as an immediate
+fund to the said citizens for ever.
+
+Item, I do hereby appoint a certain number of the said citizens to take
+all the custom-house or customary oaths, concerning all goods imported
+to the whole city, strictly directing, that some select members, and not
+the whole number of a body corporate, should be perjured.
+
+Item, I forbid all n----s and persons of q----ty to watch bargains near
+and about the Exchange, to the diminution and wrong of the said
+stockjobbers.
+
+Thus far, in as brief and intelligible a manner as any will can appear,
+till it is explained by the learned, I have disposed of my real and
+personal estate: but, as I am an adept, I have by birth an equal right
+to give also an indefeasible title to my endowments and qualifications;
+which I do in the following manner:
+
+Item, I give my chastity to all virgins who have withstood their
+market.
+
+Item, I give my courage among all who are ashamed of their distressed
+friends, all sneakers in assemblies, and men who show valour in common
+conversation.
+
+Item, I give my wit (as rich men give to the rich) among such as think
+they have enough already. And in case they shall not accept of the
+legacy, I give it to Bentivolio,[133] to defend his works from time to
+time, as he shall think fit to publish them.
+
+Item, I bestow my learning upon the honorary members of the Royal
+Society.[134]
+
+Now for the disposal of this body.
+
+As these eyes must one day cease to gaze on Teraminta, and this heart
+shall one day pant no more for her indignation: that is to say, since
+this body must be earth, I shall commit it to the dust in a manner
+suitable to my character. Therefore, as there are those who dispute,
+whether there is any such real person as Isaac Bickerstaff or not, I
+shall excuse all persons who appear what they really are, from coming to
+my funeral. But all those who are, in their way of life, persons, as the
+Latins have it, persons assumed, and who appear what they really are
+not, are hereby invited to that solemnity.
+
+The body shall be carried by six watchmen, who are never seen in the
+day.
+
+Item, The pall shall be held up by the six most known pretenders to
+honesty, wealth and power, who are not possessed of any of them. The
+two first, an half-lawyer, a complete justice. The two next, a chemist,
+a projector. The third couple, a Treasury solicitor, and a small
+courtier.
+
+To make my funeral (what that solemnity, when done to common men, really
+is in itself) a very farce; and since all mourners are mere actors on
+these occasions, I shall desire those who are professedly such, to
+attend me. I humbly therefore beseech Mrs. Barry[135] to act once more,
+and be my widow. When she swoons away at the church-porch, I appoint the
+merry Sir John Falstaff, and the gay Sir Harry Wildair, to support her.
+I desire Mr. Pinkethman[136] to follow in the habit of a cardinal, and
+Mr. Bullock[137] in that of a privy councillor. To make up the rest of
+the appearance, I desire all the ladies from the balconies to weep with
+Mrs. Barry, as they hope to be wives and widows themselves. I invite
+all, who have nothing else to do, to accept of gloves and scarves.
+
+Thus, with the great Charles V. of Spain, I resign the glories of this
+transitory world: yet, at the same time, to show you my indifference,
+and that my desires are not too much fixed upon anything, I own to you,
+I am as willing to stay as go: therefore leave it in the choice of my
+gentle readers, whether I shall hear from them, or they hear no more
+from me.
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, April 25.
+
+Easter Day being a time when you can't well meet with any but humble
+adventures; and there being such a thing as low gallantry, as well as a
+low comedy, Colonel Ramble[138] and myself went early this morning into
+the fields, which were strewed with shepherds and shepherdesses, but
+indeed of a different turn from the simplicity of those of Arcadia.
+Every hedge was conscious of more than what the representations of
+enamoured swains admit of. While we were surveying the crowd around us,
+we saw at a distance a company coming towards Pancras Church; but though
+there was not much disorder, we thought we saw the figure of a man stuck
+through with a sword, and at every step ready to fall, if a woman by his
+side had not supported him; the rest followed two and two. When we came
+nearer this appearance, who should it be but Monsieur Guardeloop, mine
+and Ramble's French tailor, attended by others, leading one of Madame
+Depingle's[139] maids to the church, in order to their espousals. It was
+his sword tucked so high above his waist, and the circumflex which
+persons of his profession take in their walking, that made him appear at
+a distance wounded and falling. But the morning being rainy, methought
+the march to this wedding was but too lively a picture of wedlock
+itself. They seemed both to have a month's mind to make the best of
+their way single; yet both tugged arm in arm; and when they were in a
+dirty way, he was but deeper in the mire, by endeavouring to pull out
+his companion, and yet without helping her. The bridegroom's feathers in
+his hat all drooped, one of his shoes had lost an heel. In short, he was
+in his whole person and dress so extremely soused, that there did not
+appear one inch or single thread about him unmarried.[140] Pardon me,
+that the melancholy object still dwells upon me so far, as to reduce me
+to punning. However, we attended to the chapel, where we stayed to hear
+the irrevocable words pronounced upon our old servant, and made the best
+of our way to town. I took a resolution to forbear all married persons,
+or any, in danger of being such, for four-and-twenty hours at least;
+therefore dressed, and went to visit Florimel, the vainest thing in
+town, where I knew would drop in Colonel Picket, just come from the
+camp, her professed admirer. He is of that order of men who has much
+honour and merit, but withal a coxcomb; the other of that set of
+females, who has innocence and wit, but the first of coquettes. It is
+easy to believe, these must be admirers of each other. She says, "The
+Colonel rides the best of any man in England": the Colonel says, "She
+talks the best of any woman." At the same time, he understands wit just
+as she does horsemanship. You are to know, these extraordinary persons
+see each other daily; and they themselves, as well as the town, think it
+will be a match: but it can never happen that they can come to the
+point; for instead of addressing to each other, they spend their whole
+time in reports of themselves. He is satisfied if he can convince her he
+is a fine gentleman, and a man of consequence; and she, in appearing to
+him an accomplished lady and a wit, without further design. Thus he
+tells her of his manner of posting his men at such a pass, with the
+numbers he commanded on that detachment: she tells him, how she was
+dressed on such a day at Court, and what offers were made her the week
+following. She seems to hear the repetition of his men's names with
+admiration; and waits only to answer him with as false a muster of
+lovers. They talk to each other not to be informed, but approved. Thus
+they are so like, that they are to be ever distant, and the parallel
+lines may run together for ever, but never meet.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, April 25.
+
+This evening, the comedy, called "Epsom Wells,"[141] was acted for the
+benefit of Mr. Bullock,[142] who, though he is a person of much wit and
+ingenuity, has a peculiar talent of looking like a fool, and therefore
+excellently well qualified for the part of Biskett in this play. I
+cannot indeed sufficiently admire his way of bearing a beating, as he
+does in this drama, and that with such a natural air and propriety of
+folly, that one cannot help wishing the whip in one's own hand; so
+richly does he seem to deserve his chastisement. Skilful actors think it
+a very peculiar happiness to play in a scene with such as top their
+parts. Therefore I cannot but say, when the judgment of any good author
+directs him to write a beating for Mr. Bullock from Mr. William
+Pinkethman, or for Mr. William Pinkethman from Mr. Bullock, those
+excellent players seem to be in their most shining circumstances, and
+please me more, but with a different sort of delight, than that which I
+receive from those grave scenes of Brutus and Cassius, or Antony and
+Ventidius. The whole comedy is very just, and the low part of human life
+represented with much humour and wit.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, April 25.
+
+We are advised from Vienna, by letters of the 20th instant, that the
+Emperor hath lately added twenty new members to his Council of State,
+but they have not yet taken their places at the board. General Thaun is
+returned from Baden, his health being so well re-established by the
+baths of that place, that he designs to set out next week for Turin, to
+his command of the Imperial troops in the service of the Duke of Savoy.
+His Imperial Majesty has advanced his brother Count Henry Thaun to be a
+brigadier, and a Councillor of the Aulic Council of War. These letters
+import, that King Stanislaus and the Swedish General Crassau are
+directing their march to the Nieper, to join the King of Sweden's army
+in Ukrania: that the States of Austria have furnished Marshal Heister
+with a considerable sum of money, to enable him to push on the war
+vigorously in Hungary, where all things as yet are in perfect
+tranquillity: and that General Thungen has been very importunate for a
+speedy reinforcement of the forces on the Upper Rhine, representing at
+the same time, what miseries the inhabitants must necessarily undergo,
+if the designs of France on those parts be not speedily and effectually
+prevented.
+
+Letters from Rome, dated the 13th instant, say, that on the preceding
+Sunday his Holiness was carried in an open chair from St. Peter's to St.
+Mary's, attended by the Sacred College, in cavalcade; and, after Mass,
+distributed several dowries for the marriage of poor and distressed
+virgins. The proceedings of that Court are very dilatory concerning the
+recognition of King Charles, notwithstanding the pressing instances of
+the Marquis de Prie, who has declared, that if this affair be not wholly
+concluded by the 15th instant, he will retire from that Court, and order
+the Imperial troops to return into the ecclesiastical state. On the
+other hand, the Duke of Anjou's minister has, in the name of his master,
+demanded of his Holiness to explain himself on that affair; which, it is
+said, will be finally determined in a consistory to be held on Monday
+next; the Duke d'Uzeda designing to delay his departure till he sees the
+issue. These letters also say, that the Court was mightily alarmed at
+the news which they received by an express from Ferrara, that General
+Boneval, who commands in Commachio, had sent circular letters to the
+inhabitants of St. Alberto, Longastrino, Fillo, and other adjacent
+parts, enjoining them to come and swear fealty to the Emperor, and
+receive new investitures of their fiefs from his hands. Letters from
+other parts of Italy say, that the King of Denmark continues at Lucca;
+that four English and Dutch men-of-war were seen off of Oneglia, bound
+for Final, in order to transport the troops designed for Barcelona; and
+that her Majesty's ship the _Colchester_ arrived at Leghorn the 4th
+instant from Port Mahon, with advice, that Major-General Stanhope
+designed to part from thence the 1st instant with 6000 or 7000 men to
+attempt the relief of the Castle of Alicant.
+
+Our last advices from Berlin, bearing date the 27th instant, import,
+that the King was gone to Linum, and the Queen to Mecklenburg; but that
+their Majesties designed to return the next week to Oranienburg, where a
+great chase of wild beasts was prepared for their diversion, and from
+thence they intend to proceed together to Potsdam; that the Prince Royal
+was set out for Brabant, but intended to make some short stay at
+Hanover. These letters also inform us, that they are advised from Obory,
+that the King of Sweden, being on his march towards Holki, met General
+Renne with a detachment of Muscovites, who placing some regiments in
+ambuscade, attacked the Swedes in their rear, and putting them to
+flight, killed 2000 men, the king himself having his horse shot under
+him.
+
+We hear from Copenhagen, that, the ice being broke, the Sound is again
+open for the ships; and that they hoped his Majesty would return sooner
+than they at first expected.
+
+Letters from the Hague, dated May the 4th, N.S., say that an express
+arrived there on the 1st from Prince Eugene to his Grace the Duke of
+Marlborough. The States are advised, that the auxiliaries of Saxony
+were arrived on the frontiers of the United Provinces; as also, that the
+two regiments of Wolfembuttel, and 4000 troops from Wirtemberg, which
+are to serve in Flanders, are in full march thither. Letters from
+Flanders, say that the great convoy of ammunition and provisions which
+set out from Ghent for Lille, was safely arrived at Courtray. We hear
+from Paris, that the King has ordered the militia on the coasts of
+Normandy and Bretagne to be in a readiness to march; and that the Court
+was in apprehension of a descent, to animate the people to rise in the
+midst of their present hardships.
+
+They write from Spain, that the Pope's Nuncio left Madrid the 10th of
+April, in order to go to Bayonne; that the Marquis de Bay was at Badajos
+to observe the motions of the Portuguese; and that the Count d'Estain,
+with a body of 5000 men, was on his march to attack Gironne. The Duke
+of Anjou has deposed the Bishop of Lerida, as being a favourer of the
+interest of King Charles; and has summoned a convocation at Madrid,
+composed of the archbishops, bishops and states of that kingdom,
+wherein he hopes they will come to a resolution to send for no more
+bulls to Rome.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 130: John Morphew was the publisher of the _Tatler_.]
+
+[Footnote 131: See No. 4.]
+
+[Footnote 132: Stockjobbers, who contract for a sale of stock which they
+do not possess, are called sellers of bearskins; and universally whoever
+sells what he does not possess was said to sell the bear's skin, while
+the bear runs in the woods. "You never heard such bellowing about the
+town of the state of the nation, especially among the sharpers, sellers
+of bearskins--_i.e._ stockjobbers, &c." (Swift). See No. 38.]
+
+[Footnote 133: Dr. Richard Bentley, Master of Trinity College,
+Cambridge, took a leading part in the controversy regarding the
+genuineness of the Epistles of Phalaris. In 1709 he published critical
+notes on the Tusculan Disputations.]
+
+[Footnote 134: There are several sneers at the members of the Royal
+Society in the _Tatler_.]
+
+[Footnote 135: See No. 1.]
+
+[Footnote 136: See No. 4.]
+
+[Footnote 137: William Bullock was a comic actor whose abilities are
+praised by Gildon and others. He was the original Sir Tunbelly Clumsy in
+Vanbrugh's "Relapse." Later on in this number (p. 70), Steele says that
+Bullock had a peculiar talent of looking like a fool, and in No. 188 he
+compares Bullock and Pinkethman in a satirical vein.]
+
+[Footnote 138: Perhaps Colonel Hunter, afterwards Governor of New York;
+or Colonel Brett, one of the managers of Drury Lane Theatre.]
+
+[Footnote 139: See No. 34.]
+
+[Footnote 140: The pun is, of course, on the word "unmarred."]
+
+[Footnote 141: By Thomas Shadwell, 1676.]
+
+[Footnote 142: See note on p. 67, above.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 8. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, April 26._ to _Thursday, April 28_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Wills Coffee-house, April 26.
+
+The play of "The London Cuckolds"[143] was acted this evening before a
+suitable audience, who were extremely well diverted with that heap of
+vice and absurdity. The indignation which Eugenio, who is a gentleman
+of a just taste, has, upon occasion of seeing human nature fall so low
+in their delights, made him, I thought, expatiate upon the mention of
+this play very agreeably. "Of all men living," said he, "I pity players
+(who must be men of good understanding to be capable of being such) that
+they are obliged to repeat and assume proper gestures for representing
+things, of which their reason must be ashamed, and which they must
+disdain their audience for approving. The amendment of these low
+gratifications is only to be made by people of condition, by encouraging
+the presentation of the noble characters drawn by Shakespeare and
+others, from whence it is impossible to return without strong
+impressions of honour and humanity. On these occasions, distress is laid
+before us with all its causes and consequences, and our resentment
+placed according to the merit of the persons afflicted. Were dramas of
+this nature more acceptable to the taste of the town, men who have
+genius would bend their studies to excel in them. How forcible an effect
+this would have on our minds, one needs no more than to observe how
+strongly we are touched by mere pictures. Who can see Le Brun's[144]
+picture of the Battle of Porus, without entering into the character of
+that fierce gallant man,[145] and being accordingly spurred to an
+emulation of his constancy and courage? When he is falling with his
+wound, the features are at the same time very terrible and languishing;
+and there is such a stern faintness diffused through his look, as is
+apt to move a kind of horror, as well as pity, in the beholder. This, I
+say, is an effect wrought by mere lights and shades; consider also a
+representation made by words only, as in an account given by a good
+writer: Catiline in Sallust makes just such a figure as Porus by Le
+Brun. It is said of him, 'Catilina vero longe a suis inter hostium
+cadavera repertus est; paululum etiam spirans, ferocitatemque animi quam
+vivus habuerat in vultu retinens.'[146] ('Catiline was found killed far
+from his own men among the dead bodies of the enemy: he seemed still to
+breathe, and still retained in his face the same fierceness he had when
+he was living.') You have in that one sentence, a lively impression of
+his whole life and actions. What I would insinuate from all this, is,
+that if the painter and the historian can do thus much in colours and
+language, what may not be performed by an excellent poet, when the
+character he draws is presented by the person, the manner, the look, and
+the motion, of an accomplished player? If a thing painted or related can
+irresistibly enter our hearts, what may not be brought to pass by seeing
+generous things performed before our eyes?" Eugenio ended his discourse,
+by recommending the apt use of a theatre, as the most agreeable and easy
+method of making a polite and moral gentry, which would end in rendering
+the rest of the people regular in their behaviour, and ambitious of
+laudable undertakings.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, April 27.
+
+Letters from Naples of the 9th instant, N.S., advise, that Cardinal
+Grimani had ordered the regiment commanded by General Pate to march
+towards Final, in order to embark for Catalonia, whither also a
+thousand horse are to be transported from Sardinia, besides the troops
+which come from the Milanese. An English man-of-war has taken two
+prizes, one a vessel of Malta, the other of Genoa, both laden with goods
+of the enemy. They write from Florence of the 13th, that his Majesty of
+Denmark had received a courier from the Hague, with an account of some
+matters relating to the treaty of a peace; upon which he declared, that
+he thought it necessary to hasten to his own dominions.
+
+Letters from Switzerland inform us, that the effects of the great
+scarcity of corn in France were felt at Geneva; the magistrates of which
+city had appointed deputies to treat with the cantons of Berne and
+Zurich, for leave to buy up such quantities of grain within their
+territories as should be thought necessary. The Protestants of
+Tockenburg are still in arms about the convent of St. John, and have
+declared, that they will not lay them down, till they shall have
+sufficient security from the Roman Catholics, of living unmolested in
+the exercise of their religion. In the meantime the deputies of Berne
+and Tockenburg have frequent conferences at Zurich, with the regency of
+that canton, to find out methods for the quieting these disorders.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 3rd of May advise, that the President
+Rouillé, after his last conference with the deputies of the States, had
+retired to Bodegrave, five miles distant from Worden, and expected the
+return of a courier from France on the 4th, with new instructions. It is
+said, if his answer from the French Court shall not prove satisfactory,
+he will be desired to withdraw out of these parts. In the meantime it is
+also reported, that his equipage, as an ambassador on this great
+occasion, is actually on the march towards him. They write from
+Flanders, that the great convoy of provisions, which set out from Ghent,
+is safely arrived at Lille. Those advices add, that the enemy had
+assembled near Tournay a considerable body of troops drawn out of the
+neighbouring garrisons. Their high mightinesses having sent orders to
+their Ministers at Hamburg and Dantzic, to engage the magistrates of
+those cities to forbid the sale of corn to the French, and to signify to
+them, that the Dutch merchants will buy up as much of that commodity as
+they can spare, the Hamburgers have accordingly contracted with the
+Dutch, and refused any commerce with the French on that occasion.
+
+
+From my own Apartment.
+
+After the lassitude of a day spent in the strolling manner, which is
+usual with men of pleasure in this town, and with a head full of a
+million of impertinences, which had danced round it for ten hours
+together, I came to my lodging, and hastened to bed. My
+_valet-de-chambre_[147] knows my University trick of reading there; and
+he being: a good scholar for a gentleman, ran over the names of Horace,
+Tibullus, Ovid, and others, to know which I would have. "Bring Virgil,"
+said I, "and if I fall asleep, take care of the candle." I read the
+sixth book over with the most exquisite delight, and had gone half
+through it a second time, when the pleasing ideas of Elysian Fields,
+deceased worthies walking in them, sincere lovers enjoying their
+languishment without pain, compassion for the unhappy spirits who had
+misspent their short daylight, and were exiled from the seats of bliss
+for ever; I say, I was deep again in my reading, when this mixture of
+images had taken place of all others in my imagination before, and
+lulled me into a dream, from which I am just awake, to my great
+disadvantage. The happy mansions of Elysium by degrees seemed to be
+wafted from me, and the very traces of my late waking thoughts began to
+fade away, when I was cast by a sudden whirlwind upon an island,
+encompassed with a roaring and troubled sea, which shaked its very
+centre, and rocked its inhabitants as in a cradle. The islanders lay on
+their faces, without offering to look up, or hope for preservation; all
+her harbours were crowded with mariners, and tall vessels of war lay in
+danger of being driven to pieces on her shores. "Bless me!" said I, "why
+have I lived in such a manner that the convulsion of nature should be so
+terrible to me, when I feel in myself, that the better part of me is to
+survive it? Oh! may that be in happiness." A sudden shriek, in which the
+whole people on their faces joined, interrupted my soliloquy, and turned
+my eyes and attention to the object which had given us that sudden
+start, in the midst of an inconsolable and speechless affliction.
+Immediately the winds grew calm, the waves subsided, and the people
+stood up, turning their faces upon a magnificent pile in the midst of
+the island. There we beheld an hero of a comely and erect aspect, but
+pale and languid, sitting under a canopy of state. By the faces and dumb
+sorrow of those who attended we thought him in the article of death. At
+a distance sat a lady, whose life seemed to hang upon the same thread
+with his: she kept her eyes fixed upon him, and seemed to smother ten
+thousand thousand nameless things, which urged her tenderness to clasp
+him in her arms: but her greatness of spirit overcame those sentiments,
+and gave her power to forbear disturbing his last moment; which
+immediately approached. The hero looked up with an air of negligence,
+and satiety of being, rather than of pain to leave it; and leaning back
+his head, expired.[148]
+
+When the heroine, who sat at a distance, saw his last instant come, she
+threw herself at his feet, and kneeling, pressed his hand to her lips;
+in which posture she continued under the agony of an unutterable sorrow,
+till conducted from our sight by her attendants. That commanding awe,
+which accompanies the grief of great minds, restrained the multitude
+while in her presence; but as soon as she retired, they gave way to
+their distraction, and all the islanders called upon their deceased
+hero. To him, methought, they cried out, as to a guardian being, and I
+gathered from their broken accents, that it was he who had the empire
+over the ocean and its powers, by which he had long protected the island
+from shipwreck and invasion. They now give a loose to their moan, and
+think themselves exposed without hopes of human or divine assistance.
+While the people ran wild, and expressed all the different forms of
+lamentation, methought a sable cloud overshadowed the whole land, and
+covered its inhabitants with darkness: no glimpse of light appeared,
+except one ray from heaven upon the place in which the heroine now
+secluded herself from the world, with her eyes fixed on those abodes to
+which her consort was ascended.[149] Methought, a long period of time
+had passed away in mourning and in darkness, when a twilight began by
+degrees to enlighten the hemisphere; and looking round me, I saw a boat
+rowed towards the shore, in which sat a personage adorned with warlike
+trophies, bearing on his left arm a shield, on which was engraven the
+image of Victory, and in his right hand a branch of olive. His visage
+was at once so winning and so awful, that the shield and the olive
+seemed equally suitable to his genius.
+
+When this illustrious person[150] touched on the shore, he was received
+by the acclamations of the people, and followed to the palace of the
+heroine. No pleasure in the glory of her arms, or the acclamations
+of her applauding subjects, were ever capable to suspend her sorrow for
+one moment, until she saw the olive branch in the hand of that
+auspicious messenger. At that sight, as Heaven bestows its blessings on
+the wants and importunities of mortals, out of its native bounty, and
+not to increase its own power, or honour, in compassion to the world,
+the celestial mourner was then first seen to turn her regard to things
+below; and taking the branch out of the warrior's hand, looked at it
+with much satisfaction, and spoke of the blessings of peace, with a
+voice and accent, such as that in which guardian spirits whisper to
+dying penitents assurances of happiness. The air was hushed, the
+multitude attentive, and all nature in a pause, while she was speaking.
+But as soon as the messenger of peace had made some low reply, in
+which, methought, I heard the word Iberia, the heroine assuming a more
+severe air, but such as spoke resolution, without rage, returned him
+the olive, and again veiled her face. Loud cries and clashing of arms
+immediately followed, which forced me from my charming vision, and
+drove me back to these mansions of care and sorrow.[151]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 143: A very coarse play by Edward Ravenscroft, produced in
+1682, and often acted on Lord Mayors' days and other holidays.]
+
+[Footnote 144: Charles Le Brun, who was born in 1619, and died in 1690,
+was the son of a sculptor, of Scotch extraction. Under Colbert's
+patronage he founded the Academy of Painting and Sculpture, at Paris,
+and he received many honours from Louis XIV. Le Brun's painting of the
+Defeat of Porus is 16 feet high and 39 feet 5 inches long.]
+
+[Footnote 145: Porus was an Indian king who was defeated and put to
+death by Alexander the Great. See Q. Curtius, viii. 12, 14.]
+
+[Footnote 146: "Bell. Catil." cap. 61.]
+
+[Footnote 147: Steele seems to have forgotten that he was Isaac
+Bickerstaff, Esq., and had only an old maid-servant. (Nichols.)]
+
+[Footnote 148: Prince George of Denmark, the consort of Queen Anne, died
+on October 21, 1708, after a few days' illness. This dream gives a
+picture of the state of England from his death until the conclusion of
+the negotiations at the Hague in 1709.]
+
+[Footnote 149: The mourning of Queen Anne was so long that the
+manufacturers remonstrated, and secured a limit to the duration of
+public mournings.]
+
+[Footnote 150: About this time the D[uke]. of M[arlborough]. returned
+from Holland with the preliminaries of a peace.--(Steele.)]
+
+[Footnote 151: "Mr. Bickerstaff thanks Mr. Quarterstaff for his kind and
+instructive letter dated the 26th instant" (folio).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 9. [STEELE.
+
+From _Thursday, April 28_, to _Saturday, April 30_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, April 28.
+
+This evening we were entertained with "The Old Bachelor,"[152] a comedy
+of deserved reputation. In the character which gives name to the play,
+there is excellently represented the reluctance of a battered debauchee
+to come into the trammels of order and decency: he neither languishes
+nor burns, but frets for love. The gentlemen of more regular behaviour
+are drawn with much spirit and wit, and the drama introduced by the
+dialogue of the first scene with uncommon, yet natural conversation. The
+part of Fondlewife is a lively image of the unseasonable fondness of age
+and impotence. But instead of such agreeable works as these, the town
+has this half age been tormented with insects called "easy writers,"
+whose abilities Mr. Wycherley one day described excellently well in one
+word: "That," said he, "among these fellows is called easy writing,
+which any one may easily write." Such jaunty scribblers are so justly
+laughed at for their sonnets on Phillis and Chloris, and fantastical
+descriptions in them, that an ingenious kinsman of mine,[153] of the
+family of the Staffs, Mr. Humphrey Wagstaff by name, has, to avoid their
+strain, run into a way perfectly new, and described things exactly as
+they happen: he never forms fields, or nymphs, or groves, where they are
+not, but makes the incidents just as they really appear. For an example
+of it; I stole out of his manuscript the following lines: they are a
+Description of the Morning, but of the morning in town; nay, of the
+morning at this end of the town, where my kinsman at present lodges.
+
+    Now hardly here and there an hackney coach
+    Appearing, showed the ruddy morn's approach.
+    Now Betty from her master's bed had flown,
+    And softly stole to discompose her own.
+    The slipshod 'prentice from his master's door,
+    Had pared the street, and sprinkled round the floor.
+    Now Moll had whirled her mop with dext'rous airs,
+    Prepared to scrub the entry and the stairs.
+    The youth with broomy stumps began to trace
+    The kennel edge, where wheels had worn the place.
+    The smallcoal-man was heard with cadence deep,
+    Till drowned in shriller notes of chimney-sweep.
+    Duns at his lordship's gate began to meet;
+    And Brickdust Moll had screamed through half a street;
+    The turnkey now his flock returning sees,
+    Duly let out at nights to steal for fees.
+    The watchful bailiffs take their silent stands;
+    And schoolboys lag with satchels in their hands.
+
+All that I apprehend is, that dear Numps will be angry I have published
+these lines; not that he has any reason to be ashamed of them, but for
+fear of those rogues, the bane to all excellent performances, the
+imitators. Therefore, beforehand, I bar all descriptions of the
+evenings; as, a medley of verses signifying, grey-peas are now cried
+warm: that wenches now begin to amble round the passages of the
+playhouse: or of noon; as, that fine ladies and great beaux are just
+yawning out of their beds and windows in Pall Mall, and so forth. I
+forewarn also all persons from encouraging any draughts after my
+cousin; and foretell any man who shall go about to imitate him, that he
+will be very insipid. The family stock is embarked in this design, and
+we will not admit of counterfeits: Dr. Anderson[154] and his heirs enjoy
+his pills, Sir. William Read[155] has the cure of eyes, and Monsieur
+Rozelli[156] can only cure the gout. We pretend to none of these things;
+but to examine who and who are together, to tell any mistaken man he is
+not what he believes he is, to distinguish merit, and expose false
+pretences to it, is a liberty our family has by law in them, from an
+intermarriage with a daughter of Mr. Scoggan,[157] the famous droll of
+the last century. This right I design to make use of; but will not
+encroach upon the above-mentioned adepts, or any other. At the same
+time I shall take all the privileges I may, as an Englishman, and will
+lay hold of the late Act of Naturalisation[158] to introduce what I
+shall think fit from France. The use of that law may, I hope, be
+extended to people the polite world with new characters, as well as the
+kingdom itself with new subjects. Therefore an author of that nation,
+called La Bruyère, I shall make bold with on such occasions. The last
+person I read of in that writer, was Lord Timon.[159] Timon, says my
+author, is the most generous of all men; but is so hurried away with
+that strong impulse of bestowing, that he confers benefits without
+distinction, and is munificent without laying obligations. For all the
+unworthy, who receive from him, have so little sense of this noble
+infirmity, that they look upon themselves rather as partners in a spoil,
+than partakers of a bounty. The other day, coming into Paris, I met
+Timon going out on horseback, attended only by one servant. It struck me
+with a sudden damp, to see a man of so excellent a disposition, and that
+understood making a figure so very well, so much shortened in his
+retinue. But passing by his house, I saw his great coach break to pieces
+before his door, and by a strange enchantment, immediately turned into
+many different vehicles. The first was a very pretty chariot, into which
+stepped his lordship's secretary. The second was hung a little heavier;
+into that strutted the fat steward. In an instant followed a chaise,
+which was entered by the butler. The rest of the body and wheels were
+forthwith changed into go-carts, and ran away with by the nurses and
+brats of the rest of the family. What makes these misfortunes in the
+affairs of Timon the more astonishing, is, that he has a better
+understanding than those who cheat him; so that a man knows not which
+more to wonder at, the indifference of the master, or the impudence of
+the servant.
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, April 29.
+
+It is matter of much speculation among the beaux and oglers, what it is
+that can have made so sudden a change, as has been of late observed, in
+the whole behaviour of Pastorella, who never sat still a moment till she
+was eighteen, which she has now exceeded by two months. Her aunt, who
+has the care of her, has not been always so rigid as she is at this
+present date; but has so good a sense of the frailty of woman, and
+falsehood of man, that she resolved on all manner of methods to keep
+Pastorella, if possible, in safety, against herself, and all her
+admirers. At the same time the good lady knew by long experience, that
+a gay inclination, curbed too rashly, would but run to the greater
+excesses for that restraint: therefore intended to watch her, and take
+some opportunity of engaging her insensibly in her own interests,
+without the anguish of an admonition. You are to know then, that miss,
+with all her flirting and ogling, had also naturally a strong curiosity
+in her, and was the greatest eavesdropper breathing. Parisatis (for so
+her prudent aunt is called) observed this humour, and retires one day to
+her closet, into which she knew Pastorella would peep, and listen to
+know how she was employed. It happened accordingly, and the young lady
+saw her good governante on her knees, and after a mental behaviour,
+break into these words: "As for the dear child committed to my care, let
+her sobriety of carriage, and severity of behaviour, be such, as may
+make that noble lord, who is taken with her beauty, turn his designs to
+such as are honourable." Here Parisatis heard her niece nestle closer to
+the keyhole: she then goes on; "Make her the joyful mother of a numerous
+and wealthy offspring, and let her carriage be such, as may make this
+noble youth expect the blessings of an happy marriage, from the
+singularity of her life, in this loose and censorious age." Miss having
+heard enough, sneaks off for fear of discovery, and immediately at her
+glass, alters the sitting of her head; then pulls up her tucker,[160]
+and forms herself into the exact manner of Lindamira: in a word, becomes
+a sincere convert to everything that's commendable in a fine young lady;
+and two or three such matches as her aunt feigned in her devotions, are
+at this day in her choice. This is the history and original cause of
+Pastorella's conversion from coquetry. The prudence in the management
+of this young lady's temper, and good judgment of it, is hardly to be
+exceeded. I scarce remember a greater instance of forbearance of the
+usual peevish way with which the aged treat the young, than this, except
+that of our famous Noye,[161] whose good nature went so far, as to make
+him put off his admonitions to his son, even till after his death; and
+did not give him his thoughts of him, till he came to read that
+memorable passage in his will: "All the rest of my estate," says he, "I
+leave to my son Edward (who is executor to this my will) to be
+squandered as he shall think fit: I leave it him for that purpose, and
+hope no better from him." A generous disdain and reflection, upon how
+little he deserved from so excellent a father, reformed the young man,
+and made Edward, from an errant rake, become a fine gentleman.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, April 29.
+
+Letters from Portugal of the 18th instant, dated from Estremos, say,
+that on the 6th the Earl of Galway arrived at that place, and had the
+satisfaction to see the quarters well furnished with all manner of
+provisions, and a quantity of bread sufficient for subsisting the troops
+for sixty days, besides biscuits for twenty-five days. The enemy give
+out, that they shall bring into the field 14 regiments of horse, and 24
+battalions. The troops in the service of Portugal will make up 14,000
+foot, and 4000 horse. On the day these letters were despatched, the
+Earl of Galway received advice, that the Marquis de Bay was preparing
+for some enterprise, by gathering his troops together on the frontiers.
+Whereupon his Excellency resolved to go that same night to Villa-Vicosa,
+to assemble the troops in that neighbourhood, in order to disappoint his
+designs.
+
+Yesterday in the evening Captain Foxon, aide-de-camp to Major-General
+Cadogan, arrived here express from the Duke of Marlborough. And this day
+a mail is come in, with letters dated from Brussels of the 6th of May,
+N.S., which advise, that the enemy had drawn together a body, consisting
+of 20,000 men, with a design, as was supposed, to intercept the great
+convoy on the march towards Lille, which was safely arrived at Menin and
+Courtray, in its way to that place, the French having retired without
+making any attempt.
+
+We hear from the Hague, that a person of the first quality is arrived in
+the Low Countries from France, in order to be a plenipotentiary in an
+ensuing treaty of peace.
+
+Letters from France acknowledge, that Monsieur Bernard has made no
+higher offers of satisfaction to his creditors than of £35 per cent.
+
+These advices add, that the Marshal Boufflers, Monsieur Torcy (who
+distinguished himself formerly, by advising the Court of France to
+adhere to the treaty of partition), and Monsieur d'Harcourt (who
+negotiated with Cardinal Portocarrero for the succession of the crown of
+Spain in the House of Bourbon), are all three joined in a commission for
+a treaty of peace. The Marshal is come to Ghent: the other two are
+arrived at the Hague.
+
+It is confidently reported here that the Right Honourable the Lord
+Townshend is to go with his Grace the Duke of Marlborough into
+Holland.[162]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 152: Congreve's first play, produced in 1693. See also No.
+193. This piece is attacked in Jeremy Collier's "Short View of the
+Profaneness and Immorality of the English Stage," 1698.]
+
+[Footnote 153: Swift.]
+
+[Footnote 154: A Scotch physician in the reigns of Charles I. and
+Charles II. An advertisement of his "famous Scots Pills" requested the
+public to beware of counterfeits, especially an ignorant pretender, one
+Muffen, who kept a china-shop.]
+
+[Footnote 155: "Henley would fain have me to go with Steele and Rowe,
+&c., to an invitation at Sir William Read's. Surely you have heard of
+him. He has been a mountebank, and is the Queen's oculist; he makes
+admirable punch, and treats you in gold vessels. But I am engaged, and
+won't go; neither indeed am I fond of the jaunt" (Swift's "Journal,"
+April 11, 1711). Read was knighted in 1705, for services done in curing
+soldiers and sailors of blindness gratis. Beginning life as a tailor, he
+became Queen Anne's oculist in ordinary, and died in 1715. See
+_Spectator_, No. 547.]
+
+[Footnote 156: Rozelli, the inventor of a specific for the gout, died at
+the Hague. In No. 33 was an advertisement of the "Memoirs of the Life
+and Adventures of Signior Rozelli, at the Hague, giving a particular
+account of his birth, education, slavery, monastic state, imprisonment
+in the Inquisition at Rome, and the different figures he has since made,
+as well in Italy, as in France and Holland.... Done into English from
+the second edition of the French." This work, like the continuation of
+1724, has been wrongly attributed to Defoe. Rozelli advertised in the
+_London Gazette_, for July 19, 1709, that the book was entirely
+fictitious, and a libel upon his character.]
+
+[Footnote 157: We learn from Ben Jonson, that Scoggan, or Skogan, was
+M.A., and lived in the time of Henry IV. "He made disguises for the
+King's sons, writ in ballad-royal daintily well, and was regarded and
+rewarded." Jonson calls him the moral Skogan; and introduces him with
+Skelton, the poet laureate of Henry VIII., into his Masque, entitled
+"The Fortunate Isles," where he keeps them in character, and makes them
+rhyme in their own manner.]
+
+[Footnote 158: 7 Anne, cap. 5, was an "Act for naturalising Foreign
+Protestants." After the preamble, "Whereas many strangers of the
+Protestant or reformed religion would be induced to transport themselves
+and their estates into this kingdom, if they might be made partakers of
+the advantages and privileges which the natural-born subjects thereof do
+enjoy," it was enacted that all persons taking the oaths, and making and
+subscribing the declaration appointed by 6 Anne, cap. 23, should be
+deemed natural-born subjects; but no person was to have the benefit of
+this Act unless he received the sacrament. The Act was repealed by 10
+Anne, c. 5, because "divers mischiefs and inconveniences have been found
+by experience to follow from the same, to the discouragement of the
+natural-born subjects of this kingdom, and to the detriment of the trade
+and wealth thereof."]
+
+[Footnote 159: It has been alleged that there is here an allusion to the
+Duke of Ormond, whose servants enriched themselves at their master's
+expense (see _Examiner_, vol. iii. p. 48). But in the _Guardian_, No.
+53, Steele, writing in his own name, declared that the character of
+Timon was not disgraceful, and that when he drew it he thought it
+resembled himself more than any one else.]
+
+[Footnote 160: The tucker, an edging round the top of a low dress, began
+to be discontinued about 1713, as appears from complaints in the
+_Guardian_, _passim_.]
+
+[Footnote 161: "William Noye, of St. Burian in Cornwall, gentleman, was
+made Attorney-General in 1631; his will is dated June 3, 1634, about a
+month or six weeks before his death. The expedient did not operate an
+alteration in his son so altogether favourable; for within two years
+Edward was slain in a duel by one Captain Byron, who was pardoned for
+it" (Wood's "Athen. Oxon." 1691, i. 506). Noye's character is drawn in
+the first book of Clarendon's "History of the Civil War."]
+
+[Footnote 162: "Mr. Bickerstaff has received the epistles of Mrs.
+Rebecca Wagstaff, Timothy Pikestaff and Wagstaff, which he will
+acknowledge farther as occasion shall serve" (folio).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 10. [STEELE.
+
+By Mrs.[163] JENNY DISTAFF, half-sister to Mr. BICKERSTAFF.
+
+From _Saturday, April 30_, to _Tuesday, May 3_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 1.
+
+My brother Isaac having a sudden occasion to go out of town, ordered me
+to take upon me the despatch of the next advices from home, with liberty
+to speak it my own way; not doubting the allowances which would be given
+to a writer of my sex. You may be sure I undertook it with much
+satisfaction, and I confess, I am not a little pleased with the
+opportunity of running over all the papers in his closet, which he has
+left open for my use on this occasion. The first that I lay my hands on,
+is, a treatise concerning "The Empire of Beauty," and the effects it
+has had in all nations of the world, upon the public and private actions
+of men; with an appendix, which he calls, "The Bachelor's Scheme for
+Governing his Wife." The first thing he makes this gentleman propose,
+is, that she shall be no woman; for she is to have an aversion to balls,
+to operas, to visits: she is to think his company sufficient to fill up
+all the hours of life with great satisfaction: she is never to believe
+any other man wise, learned, or valiant; or at least but in a second
+degree. In the next place, he intends she shall be a cuckold; but
+expects, that he himself must live in perfect security from that terror.
+He dwells a great while on instructions for her discreet behaviour, in
+case of his falsehood. I have not patience with these unreasonable
+expectations, therefore turn back to the treatise itself. Here, indeed,
+my brother deduces all the revolutions among men from the passion of
+love; and in his preface, answers that usual observation against us,
+that there is no quarrel without a woman in it, with a gallant
+assertion, that there is nothing else worth quarrelling for. My brother
+is of a complexion truly amorous; all his thoughts and actions carry in
+them a tincture of that obliging inclination; and this turn has opened
+his eyes to see, we are not the inconsiderable creatures which unlucky
+pretenders to our favour would insinuate. He observes that no man begins
+to make any tolerable figure, till he sets out with the hopes of
+pleasing some one of us. No sooner he takes that in hand, but he pleases
+every one else by-the-bye. It has an immediate effect upon his
+behaviour. There is Colonel Ranter, who never spoke without an oath,
+till he saw the Lady Betty Modish;[164] now never gives his man an
+order, but it is, "Pray, Tom, do it." The drawers where he drinks live
+in perfect happiness. He asked Will at the "George" the other day how he
+did? Where he used to say, "Damn it, it is so," he now believes there is
+some mistake: he must confess, he is of another opinion; but however he
+won't insist.
+
+Every temper, except downright insipid, is to be animated and softened
+by the influence of beauty: but of this untractable sort is a lifeless
+handsome fellow that visits us, whom I have dressed at this twelvemonth;
+but he is as insensible of all the arts I use, as if he conversed all
+that time with his nurse. He outdoes our whole sex in all the faults our
+enemies impute to us; he has brought laziness into an opinion, and makes
+his indolence his philosophy: insomuch, that no longer ago than
+yesterday in the evening he gave me this account of himself: "I am,
+madam, perfectly unmoved at all that passes among men, and seldom give
+myself the fatigue of going among them; but when I do, I always appear
+the same thing to those whom I converse with. My hours of existence, or
+being awake, are from eleven in the morning to eleven at night; half of
+which I live to myself, in picking my teeth, washing my hands, paring my
+nails, and looking in the glass. The insignificancy of my manners to the
+rest of the world makes the laughers call me a _quidnunc_, a phrase I
+shall never inquire what they mean by it. The last of me each night is
+at St. James's Coffee-house, where I converse, yet never fall into a
+dispute on any occasion, but leave the understanding I have, passive of
+all that goes through it, without entering into the business of life.
+And thus, madam, have I arrived by laziness, to what others pretend to
+by devotion, a perfect neglect of the world." Sure, if our sex had the
+liberty of frequenting public-houses and conversations, we should put
+these rivals of our faults and follies out of countenance. However, we
+shall soon have the pleasure of being acquainted with them one way or
+other, for my brother Isaac designs, for the use of our sex, to give the
+exact characters of all the chief politicians who frequent any of the
+coffee-houses from St. James's to the Change; but designs to begin with
+that cluster of wise heads, as they are found sitting every evening,
+from the left side of the fire, at the Smyrna,[165] to the door. This
+will be of great service for us, and I have authority to promise an
+exact journal of their deliberations; the publication of which I am to
+be allowed for pin-money. In the meantime, I cast my eye upon a new
+book, which gave me a more pleasing entertainment, being a sixth part of
+"Miscellany Poems," published by Jacob Tonson,[166] which I find, by my
+brother's notes upon it, no way inferior to the other volumes. There
+are, it seems, in this, a collection of the best pastorals that have
+hitherto appeared in England; but among them, none superior to that
+dialogue between Sylvia and Dorinda, written by one of my own sex,[167]
+where all our little weaknesses are laid open in a manner more just,
+and with, truer raillery than ever man yet hit upon.
+
+    _Only this I now discern.
+    From the things thou'st have me learn;
+    That womankind's peculiar joys
+    From past or present beauties rise._
+
+But to reassume my first design, there cannot be a greater instance of
+the command of females, than in the prevailing charms of the heroine in
+the play which was acted this night, called "All for Love; or, The World
+Well Lost."[168] The enamoured Antony resigns glory and power to the
+force of the attractive Cleopatra, whose charms were the defence of her
+diadem, against a people otherwise invincible. It is so natural for
+women to talk of themselves, that it is to be hoped all my own sex, at
+least, will pardon me, that I could fall into no other discourse. If we
+have their favour, we give ourselves very little anxiety for the rest of
+our readers. I believe I see a sentence of Latin in my brother's
+day-book of wit, which seems applicable on this occasion, and in
+contempt of the critics.
+
+      --_Tristitiam et metus
+    Tradam protectis in mare Criticum
+    Portare ventis._[169]
+
+But I am interrupted by a packet from Mr. Kidney,[170] from the St.
+James's Coffee-house, which I am obliged to insert in the very style and
+words which Mr. Kidney uses in his letter.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 2.
+
+We are advised by letters from Berne, dated the 1st instant, N.S., that
+the Duke of Berwick arrived at Lyons the 25th of the last month, and
+continued his journey the next day to visit the passes of the mountains,
+and other posts in Dauphine and Provence. These letters also informed
+us, that the miseries of the people in France are heightened to that
+degree, that unless a peace be speedily concluded, half of that kingdom
+would perish for want of bread. On the 24th, the Marshal de Thesse
+passed through Lyons, in his way to Versailles; and two battalions,
+which were marching from Alsace to reinforce the army of the Duke of
+Berwick, passed also through that place. Those troops were to be
+followed by six Battalions more.
+
+Letters from Naples of the 16th of April say, that the Marquis de Prie's
+son was arrived there, with instructions from his father, to signify to
+the viceroy the necessity his Imperial Majesty was under, of desiring an
+aid from that kingdom, for carrying on the extraordinary expenses of the
+war. On the 14th of the same month, they made a review of the Spanish
+troops in that garrison, and afterwards of the marines; one part of whom
+will embark with those designed for Barcelona, and the rest are to be
+sent on board the galleys appointed to convoy provisions to that place.
+
+We hear from Rome, by letters dated the 20th of April, that the Count de
+Mellos, envoy from the King of Portugal, had made his public entry into
+that city with much state and magnificence. The Pope has lately held two
+other consistories, wherein he made a promotion of two cardinals; but
+the acknowledgment of King Charles is still deferred.
+
+Letters from other parts of Italy advise us, that the Doge of Venice
+continues dangerously ill: that the Prince de Carignan, having relapsed
+into a violent fever, died the 23rd of April, in his 80th year.
+
+Advices from Vienna of the 27th of April import, that the Archbishop of
+Saltzburg is dead, who is succeeded by Count Harrach, formerly Bishop of
+Vienna, and for these last three years coadjutor to the said Archbishop;
+and that Prince Maximilian of Lichtenstein has likewise departed this
+life, at his country seat called Cromaw in Moravia. These advices add,
+that the Emperor has named Count Zinzendorf, Count Goes, and Monsieur
+Consbruck, for his plenipotentiaries in an ensuing treaty of peace; and
+they hear from Hungary, that the Imperialists have had several
+successful skirmishes with the malcontents.
+
+Letters from Paris, dated May the 6th, say, that the Marshal de Thesse
+arrived there on the 29th of the last month; and that the Chevalier de
+Beuil was sent thither by Don Pedro Ronquillo with advice, that the
+confederate squadron appeared before Alicante the 17th, and having for
+some time cannonaded the city, endeavoured to land some troops for the
+relief of the castle; but General Stanhope finding the passes well
+guarded, and the enterprise dangerous, demanded to capitulate for the
+castle; which being granted him, the garrison, consisting of 600 regular
+troops, marched out with their arms and baggage the day following; and
+being received on board, they immediately set sail for Barcelona. These
+letters add, that the march of the French and Swiss regiments is further
+deferred for a few days; and that the Duke of Noailles was just ready to
+set out for Roussillon, as well as the Count de Bezons for Catalonia.
+
+The same advices say, bread was sold at Paris for 6d. per pound; and
+that there was not half enough, even at that rate, to supply the
+necessities of the people, which reduced them to the utmost despair;
+that 300 men had taken up arms, and having plundered the market of the
+suburb St. Germain, pressed down by their multitude the King's Guards
+who opposed them. Two of those mutineers were afterwards seized, and
+condemned to death; but four others went to the magistrate who
+pronounced that sentence, and told him, he must expect to answer with
+his own life for those of their comrades. All order and sense of
+government being thus lost among the enraged people, to keep up a show
+of authority, the captain of the Guards, who saw all their insolence,
+pretended, that he had represented to the King their deplorable
+condition, and had obtained their pardon. It is further reported, that
+the Dauphin and Duchess of Burgundy, as they went to the Opera, were
+surrounded by crowds of people, who upbraided them with their neglect of
+the general calamity, in going to diversions, when the whole people were
+ready to perish for want of bread. Edicts are daily published to
+suppress these riots, and papers, with menaces against the Government,
+are publicly thrown about. Among others, these words were dropped in a
+court of justice: "France wants a Ravilliac or a Jesuit to deliver her."
+Besides this universal distress, there is a contagious sickness, which,
+it is feared, will end in a pestilence. Letters from Bordeaux bring
+accounts no less lamentable: the peasants are driven by hunger from
+their abodes into that city, and make lamentations in the streets
+without redress.
+
+We are advised by letters from the Hague, dated the 10th instant, N.S.,
+that on the 6th, the Marquis de Torcy arrived there from Paris; but the
+passport, by which he came, having been sent blank by Monsieur Rouillé,
+he was there two days before his quality was known. That Minister
+offered to communicate to Monsieur Heinsius the proposals which he had
+to make; but the pensionary refused to see them, and said, he would
+signify it to the States, who deputed some of their own body to acquaint
+him, That they would enter into no negotiation till the arrival of his
+Grace the Duke of Marlborough, and the other Ministers of the Alliance.
+Prince Eugene was expected there the 12th instant from Brussels. It is
+said, that besides Monsieur de Torcy and Monsieur Pajot,
+Director-general of the Posts, there are two or three persons at the
+Hague whose names are not known; but it is supposed that the Duke
+d'Alba, ambassador from the Duke of Anjou, was one of them. The States
+have sent letters to all the cities of the Provinces, desiring them to
+send their deputies to receive the propositions of peace made by the
+Court of France.[171]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 163: The word "Miss" was still confined, in Steele's day, to
+very young girls or to young women of giddy or doubtful character. Thus
+Pastorella in No. 9 is called "Miss," and similarly we find "Miss Gruel"
+in No. 33. In the "Original Letters to the _Tatler_ and _Spectator_,"
+printed by Charles Lillie (i. 223) there is a "Table of the Titles and
+Distinctions of Women," from which what follows is extracted. "Let all
+country-gentlewomen, without regard to more or less fortune, content
+themselves with being addressed by the style of 'Mrs.' Let 'Madam'
+govern independently in the city, &c. Let no women after the known age
+of 21 presume to admit of her being called 'Miss,' unless she can fairly
+prove she is not out of her sampler. Let every common maid-servant be
+plain 'Jane,' 'Doll,' or 'Sue,' and let the better-born and
+higher-placed be distinguished by 'Mrs. Patience,' 'Mrs. Prue,' or 'Mrs.
+Abigail.'"]
+
+[Footnote 164: Perhaps there is here an illusion to Mrs. Anne Oldfield
+(died 1730), and Brigadier-General Charles Churchill, brother of the
+Duke of Marlborough. Mrs. Oldfield acted as Lady Betty Modish in
+Cibber's "Careless Husband," a part which was not only written for, but
+copied from her. Her son by Churchill married Lady Mary Walpole.]
+
+[Footnote 165: A coffee-house in Pall Mall. Swift and Prior frequented
+it: "Prior and I came away at nine, and sat at the Smyrna till eleven
+receiving acquaintance." "I walked a little in the Park till Prior made
+me go with him to the Smyrna Coffee-house."--("Journal to Stella," Oct.
+15, 1710; Feb. 19, 1711.)]
+
+[Footnote 166: The sixth and last volume of the "Dryden" Miscellany
+Poems was published by Tonson in 1709. The elder Tonson, who was founder
+and secretary of the Kit Cat Club, died in 1736.]
+
+[Footnote 167: By Elizabeth Singer, who became Mrs. Rowe in 1710, and
+died in 1737. Besides poems which gained for her the friendship of
+Prior, Dr. Watts, and Bishop Ken, she published "Friendship in Death, in
+twenty letters from the Dead to the Living," and "Letters Moral and
+Entertaining."]
+
+[Footnote 168: Dryden's version of "Antony and Cleopatra" was produced
+in 1673.]
+
+[Footnote 169: Horace, 1 Od. xxvi. 2. The joke consists in Mrs. Jenny
+Distaff mistaking Horace's "Creticum" for "Criticum," and so misapplying
+the passage.]
+
+[Footnote 170: See No. 1.]
+
+[Footnote 171: "In the absence of Mr. Bickerstaff, Mrs. Distaff has
+received Mr. Nathaniel Broomstick's letter" (folio).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 11. [STEELE.
+
+By ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esq.
+
+From _Tuesday May 3,_ to _Thursday, May 5_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, May 3.
+
+A kinsman[172] has sent me a letter, wherein he informs me, he had
+lately resolved to write an heroic poem, but by business had been
+interrupted, and has only made one similitude, which he should be
+afflicted to have wholly lost, and begs of me to apply it to something,
+being very desirous to see it well placed in the world. I am so willing
+to help the distressed, that I have taken it in; but though his greater
+genius might very well distinguish his verses from mine, I have marked
+where his begin. His lines are a description of the sun in eclipse,
+which I know nothing more like than a brave man in sorrow, who bears it
+as he should, without imploring the pity of his friends, or being
+dejected with the contempt of his enemies. As in the case of Cato:
+
+    When all the globe to Cæsar's fortune bowed,
+    Cato alone his empire disallowed;
+    With inborn strength alone opposed mankind,
+    With heaven in view, to all below it blind:
+    Regardless of his friend's applause, or moan,
+    Alone triumphant, since he falls alone.
+
+    "Thus when the Ruler of the genial day,
+    Behind some darkening planet forms his way,
+    Desponding mortals, with officious care,
+    The concave drum, and magic brass prepare;
+    Implore him to sustain the important fight,
+    And save depending worlds from endless night.
+    Fondly they hope their labour may avail,
+    To ease his conflict, and assist his toil.
+    Whilst he in beams of native splendour bright, }
+    (Though dark his orb appear to human sight)    }
+    Shines to the gods with more diffusive light.  }
+    To distant stars with equal glory burns,
+    Inflames their lamps, and feeds their golden urns.
+    Sure to retain his known superior tract,
+    And proves the more illustrious by defect."
+
+This is a very lively image; but I must take the liberty to say, my
+kinsman drives the sun a little like Phaëton: he has all the warmth of
+Phœbus, but won't stay for his direction of it. Avail and toil, defect
+and tract, will never do for rhymes. But, however, he has the true
+spirit in him; for which reason I was willing to entertain anything he
+pleased to send me. The subject which he writes upon, naturally raises
+great reflections in the soul, and puts us in mind of the mixed
+condition which we mortals are to support; which, as it varies to good
+or bad, adorns or defaces our actions to the beholders: All which glory
+and shame must end in what we so much repine at, death. But doctrines on
+this occasion, any other than that of living well, are the most
+insignificant and most empty of all the labours of men. None but a
+tragedian can die by rule, and wait till he discovers a plot, or says a
+fine thing upon his exit. In real life, this is a chimera; and by noble
+spirits, it will be done decently, without the ostentation of it. We see
+men of all conditions and characters go through it with equal
+resolution: and if we consider the speeches of the mighty philosophers,
+heroes, law-givers, and great captains, they can produce no more in a
+discerning spirit, than rules to make a man a fop on his death-bed.
+Commend me to that natural greatness of soul, expressed by an innocent,
+and consequently resolute, country fellow, who said in the pains of the
+colic, "If I once get this breath out of my body, you shall hang me
+before you put it in again." Honest Ned! and so he died.[173]
+
+But it is to be supposed, from this place you may expect an account of
+such a thing as a new play is not to be omitted. That acted this night
+is the newest that ever was writ. The author is my ingenious friend Mr.
+Thomas D----y. The drama is called, "The Modern Prophets,"[174] and is a
+most unanswerable satire against the late spirit of enthusiasm. The
+writer had by long experience observed, that in company, very grave
+discourses have been followed by bawdry; and therefore has turned the
+humour that way with great success, and taken from his audience all
+manner of superstition, by the agitations of pretty Mrs. Bignell,[175]
+whom he has, with great subtlety, made a lay-sister, as well as a
+prophetess; by which means, she carries on the affairs of both worlds
+with great success. My friend designs to go on with another work against
+winter, which he intends to call, "The Modern Poets"; a people no less
+mistaken in their opinions of being inspired than the other. In order to
+this, he has by him seven songs, besides many ambiguities, which cannot
+be mistaken for anything but what he means them. Mr. D----y generally
+writes state-plays, and is wonderfully useful to the world in such
+representations. This method is the same that was used by old Athenians,
+to laugh out of countenance, or promote opinions among the people. My
+friend has therefore, against this play is acted for his own benefit,
+made two dances, which may be also of an universal benefit. In the first
+he has represenced absolute power, in the person of a tall man with a
+hat and feather, who gives his first minister, that stands just before
+him, a huge kick: the minister gives the kick to the next before; and so
+to the end of the stage. In this moral and practical jest, you are made
+to understand, that there is, in an absolute government, no
+gratification, but giving the kick you receive from one above you to one
+below you. This is performed to a grave and melancholy air; but on a
+sudden the tune moves quicker, and the whole company fall into a circle
+and take hands; then, at a certain sharp note, they move round, and kick
+as kick can. This latter performance he makes to be the representation
+of a free state; where, if you all mind your steps, you may go round and
+round very jollily, with a motion pleasant to yourselves and those you
+dance with: nay, if you put yourselves out, at the worst you only kick,
+and are kicked, like friends and equals.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 4.
+
+Of all the vanities under the sun, I confess, that of being proud of
+one's birth is the greatest. At the same time, since in this
+unreasonable age, by the force of prevailing custom, things in which men
+have no hand are imputed to them; and that I am used by some people, as
+if Isaac Bickerstaff, though I write myself "Esquire," was nobody: to
+set the world right in that particular, I shall give you my genealogy,
+as a kinsman of ours has sent it me from the Heralds' Office. It is
+certain, and observed by the wisest writers, that there are women who
+are not nicely chaste, and men not severely honest in all families;
+therefore let those who may be apt to raise aspersions upon ours, please
+to give us as impartial an account of their own, and we shall be
+satisfied. The business of heralds is a matter of so great nicety, that
+to avoid mistakes, I shall give you my cousin's letter verbatim, without
+altering a syllable.[176]
+
+"DEAR COUSIN,
+
+"Since you have been pleased to make yourself so famous of late, by your
+ingenious writings, and some time ago by your learned Predictions: since
+Partridge, of immortal memory, is dead and gone, who, poetical as he
+was, could not understand his own poetry; and philomathical as he was,
+could not read his own destiny: since the Pope, the King of France, and
+great part of his Court, are either literally or metaphorically defunct:
+since, I say, these things (not foretold by any one but yourself) have
+come to pass after so surprising a manner; it is with no small concern I
+see the original of the Staffian race so little known in the world as it
+is at this time; for which reason, as you have employed your studies in
+astronomy and the occult sciences, so I, my mother being a Welsh woman,
+dedicated mine to genealogy, particularly that of our own family, which,
+for its antiquity and number, may challenge any in Great Britain. The
+Staffs are originally of Staffordshire, which took its name from them:
+the first that I find of the Staffs was one Jacobstaff, a famous and
+renowned astronomer, who by Dorothy his wife, had issue seven sons;
+viz., Bickerstaff, Longstaff, Wagstaff, Quarterstaff, Whitestaff,
+Falstaff, and Tipstaff. He also had a younger brother who was twice
+married, and had five sons; viz., Distaff, Pikestaff, Mopstaff,
+Broomstaff, and Raggedstaff. As for the branch from whence you spring,
+I shall say very little of it, only that it is the chief of the Staffs,
+and called Bickerstaff, _quasi_ Biggerstaff; as much as to say, the
+great staff, or staff of staffs; and that it has applied itself to
+astronomy with great success, after the example of our aforesaid
+forefather. The descendants from Longstaff, the second son, were a
+rakish disorderly sort of people, and rambled from one place to another,
+till in Harry II.'s time they settled in Kent, and were called
+Long-tails, from the long tails which were sent them as a punishment for
+the murder of Thomas-à-Becket, as the legends say; they have been always
+sought after by the ladies; but whether it be to show their aversion to
+popery, or their love to miracles, I can't say. The Wagstaffs are a
+merry thoughtless sort of people, who have always been opinionated of
+their own wit; they have turned themselves mostly to poetry. This is the
+most numerous branch of our family, and the poorest. The Quarterstaffs
+are most of them prize-fighters or deer-stealers. There have been so
+many of them hanged lately, that there are very few of that branch of
+our family left. The Whitestaffs[177] are all courtiers, and have had
+very considerable places: there have been some of them of that strength
+and dexterity, that five hundred of the ablest men in the kingdom[178]
+have often tugged in vain to pull a staff out of their hands. The
+Falstaffs are strangely given to whoring and drinking: there are
+abundance of them in and about London. And one thing is very remarkable
+of this branch, and that is, there are just as many women as men in it.
+There was a wicked stick of wood of this name in Harry IV.'s time, one
+Sir John Falstaff. As for Tipstaff, the youngest son, he was an honest
+fellow; but his sons, and his sons' sons, have all of them been the
+veriest rogues living: it is this unlucky branch has stocked the nation
+with that swarm of lawyers, attorneys, serjeants, and bailiffs, with
+which the nation is overrun. Tipstaff, being a seventh son, used to cure
+the king's evil; but his rascally descendants are so far from having
+that healing quality, that by a touch upon the shoulder, they give a man
+such an ill habit of body, that he can never come abroad afterwards.
+This is all I know of the line of Jacobstaff: his younger brother
+Isaacstaff, as I told you before, had five sons, and was married twice;
+his first wife was a Staff (for they did not stand upon false heraldry
+in those days), by whom he had one son, who in process of time, being a
+schoolmaster, and well read in the Greek, called himself Distaff or
+Twicestaff: he was not very rich, so he put his children out to trades;
+and the Distaffs have ever since been employed in the woollen and linen
+manufactures, except myself, who am a genealogist. Pikestaff, the eldest
+son by the second venter, was a man of business, a downright plodding
+fellow, and withal so plain, that he became a proverb. Most of this
+family are at present in the army. Raggedstaff was an unlucky boy, and
+used to tear his clothes getting birds' nests, and was always playing
+with a tame bear his father kept. Mopstaff fell in love with one of his
+father's maids, and used to help her to clean the house. Broomstaff was
+a chimney-sweeper. The Mopstaffs and Broomstaffs are naturally as civil
+people as ever went out of doors; but alas! if they once get into ill
+hands, they knock down all before them. Pilgrimstaff run away from his
+friends, and went strolling about the country: and Pipestaff was a
+wine-cooper. These two were the unlawful issue of Longstaff.
+
+"N.B. The Canes, the Clubs, the Cudgels, the Wands, the Devil upon two
+Sticks, and one Bread, that goes by the name of Staff of Life, are none
+of our relations.
+
+"I am, dear Cousin,
+
+"Your humble Servant,
+
+                                        "D. DISTAFF.
+
+"From the Heralds' Office, _May 1_."
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 4.
+
+As politic news is not the principal subject on which we treat, we are
+so happy as to have no occasion for that art of cookery, which our
+brother-newsmongers so much excel in; as appears by their excellent and
+inimitable manner of dressing up a second time for your taste the same
+dish which they gave you the day before, in case there come over no new
+pickles from Holland. Therefore, when we have nothing to say to you from
+courts and camps, we hope still to give you somewhat new and curious
+from ourselves: the women of our house, upon occasion, being capable of
+carrying on the business, according to the laudable custom of the wives
+in Holland; but, without further preface, take what we have not
+mentioned in our former relations.
+
+Letters from Hanover of the 30th of the last month say, that the Prince
+Royal of Prussia arrived there on the 15th, and left that Court on the
+2nd of this month, in pursuit of his journey to Flanders, where he makes
+the ensuing campaign. Those advices add, that the young Prince Nassau,
+hereditary governor of Friesland, consummated on the 26th of the last
+month his marriage with the beauteous princess of Hesse-Cassel, with a
+pomp and magnificence suitable to their age and quality.
+
+Letters from Paris say, his most Christian Majesty retired to Marli on
+the 1st instant, N.S., and our last advices from Spain inform us, that
+the Prince of Asturias had made his public entry into Madrid in great
+splendour. The Duke of Anjou has given Don Joseph Hartado de Amaraga the
+government of Terra-Firma de Veragua, and the presidency of Panama in
+America. They add, That the forces commanded by the Marquis de Bay had
+been reinforced by six battalions of Spanish and Walloon guards. Letters
+from Lisbon advise, That the army of the King of Portugal was at Elvas
+on the 22nd of the last month, and would decamp on the 24th, in order to
+march upon the enemy, who lay at Badajos.
+
+Yesterday, at four in the morning, his Grace the Duke of Marlborough set
+out for Margate, and embarked for Holland at eight this morning.
+
+Yesterday also, Sir George Thorold was declared Alderman of Cordwainers'
+Ward, in the room of his brother Sir Charles Thorold, deceased.[179]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 172: Jabez Hughes (died 1731), the author of these verses, was
+the younger brother of John Hughes. He published several translations,
+and his "Miscellanies in Verse and Prose" appeared in 1737.]
+
+[Footnote 173: "Honest Ned" was a farmer on the estate of Anthony
+Henley, who mentions this saying in a letter to Swift.]
+
+[Footnote 174: D'Urfey's "Modern Prophets" attacked the enthusiasts
+known as "French Prophets," who were in the habit of assembling in
+Moorfields to exert their alleged gifts. Lord Chesterfield says that the
+Government took no steps, except to direct Powell, the puppet-show man,
+to make Punch turn prophet, which he did so well, that it put an end to
+the fanatics.]
+
+[Footnote 175: See No. 3.]
+
+[Footnote 176: The letter is by Heneage Twysden. (See Steele's Preface.)
+Heneage Twysden was the seventh son of Sir William Twysden, Bart., of
+Roydon Hall, East Peckham, Kent. At the time of his death (1709, aged
+29) he was a captain of foot in Sir Richard Temple's Regiment, and
+aide-de-camp to John, Duke of Argyle. Near his monument in the north
+aisle of the Abbey are two other small ones to the memory of his
+brothers Josiah and John. Josiah, a captain of foot, was killed in
+Flanders in 1708, in his 23rd year; John was a lieutenant in the
+admiral's ship, under Sir Cloudesley Shovel, and perished with him in
+1707, in his 24th year. [Chalmers.]--Heneage Twysden was killed at the
+battle of Blarequies.]
+
+[Footnote 177: The allusion is to the staff carried by the First Lord of
+the Treasury.]
+
+[Footnote 178: The House of Commons.]
+
+[Footnote 179: "Any ladies who have any particular stories of their
+acquaintance, which they are willing privately to make public, may send
+them by the penny-post to Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., enclosed to Mr. John
+Morphew, near Stationers' Hall" (folio).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 12. [STEELE.
+
+From _Thursday, May 5_, to _Saturday, May 7_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+May 5.
+
+When a man has engaged to keep a stage-coach, he is obliged, whether he
+has passengers or not, to set out: thus it fares with us weekly
+historians; but indeed, for my particular, I hope I shall soon have
+little more to do in this work, than to publish what is sent me from
+such as have leisure and capacity for giving delight, and being pleased
+in an elegant manner. The present grandeur of the British nation might
+make us expect, that we should rise in our public diversions, and manner
+of enjoying life, in proportion to our advancement in glory and power.
+Instead of that, take and survey this town, and you'll find, rakes and
+debauchees are your men of pleasure; thoughtless atheists, and
+illiterate drunkards, call themselves free thinkers; and gamesters,
+banterers, biters,[180] swearers, and twenty new-born insects more, are,
+in their several species, the modern men of wit. Hence it is, that a man
+who has been out of town but one half-year, has lost the language, and
+must have some friend to stand by him, and keep him in countenance for
+talking common sense. To-day I saw a short interlude at White's of this
+nature, which I took notes of, and put together as well as I could in a
+public place. The persons of the drama are, Pip, the last gentleman that
+has been made so at cards; Trimmer, a person half undone at them, and is
+now between a cheat and a gentleman; Acorn, an honest Englishman, of
+good plain sense and meaning; and Mr. Friendly, a reasonable man of the
+town.
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, May 5.
+
+[_Enter_ PIP, TRIM, _and_ ACORN.
+
+AC. What's the matter, gentlemen? What! Take no notice of an old friend?
+
+PIP. Pox on it! don't talk to me, I am voweled by the Count, and
+cursedly out of humour.
+
+AC. Voweled! Prithee, Trimmer, what does he mean by that?
+
+TRIM. Have a care, Harry, speak softly; don't show your ignorance:--If
+you do, they'll bite you where-e'er they meet you; they are such cursed
+curs,--the present wits.
+
+AC. Bite me! What do you mean?
+
+PIP. Why! Don't you know what biting is? Nay, you are in the right on
+it. However, one would learn it only to defend oneself against men of
+wit, as one would know the tricks of play, to be secure against the
+cheats. But don't you hear, Acorn, that report, that some potentates of
+the Alliance have taken care of themselves, exclusive of us?
+
+AC. How! Heaven forbid! After all our glorious victories; all this
+expense of blood and treasure!
+
+PIP. Bite--
+
+AC. Bite! How?
+
+TRIM. Nay, he has bit you fairly enough; that's certain.
+
+AC. Pox! I don't feel it--how? Where?
+
+[_Exit_ PIP _and_ TRIMMER, _laughing._
+
+AC. Ho! Mr. Friendly, your most humble servant; you heard what passed
+between those fine gentlemen and me. Pip complained to me, that he has
+been voweled; and they tell me, I am bit.
+
+FRIEND. You are to understand, sir, that simplicity of behaviour, which
+is the perfection of good breeding and good sense, is utterly lost in
+the world; and in the room of it, there are started a thousand little
+inventions, which men, barren of better things, take up in the place of
+it. Thus, for every character in conversation that used to please, there
+is an impostor put upon you. Him whom we allowed formerly for a certain
+pleasant subtilty, and natural way of giving you an unexpected hit,
+called a droll, is now mimicked by a biter, who is a dull fellow, that
+tells you a lie with a grave face, and laughs at you for knowing him no
+better than to believe him. Instead of that sort of companion, who could
+rally you, and keep his countenance, till he made you fall into some
+little inconsistency of behaviour, at which you yourself could laugh
+with him, you have the sneerer, who will keep you company from morning
+to night, to gather your follies of the day (which perhaps you commit
+out of confidence in him), and expose you in the evening to all the
+scorners in town. For your man of sense and free spirit, whose set of
+thoughts were built upon learning, reason, and experience, you have now
+an impudent creature made up of vice only, who supports his ignorance by
+his courage, and want of learning by contempt of it.
+
+AC. Dear sir, hold: what you have told me already of this change in
+conversation, is too miserable to be heard with any delight; but,
+methinks, as these new creatures appear in the world, it might give an
+excellent field to writers for the stage, to divert us with the
+representation of them there.
+
+FRIEND. No, no: as you say, there might be some hopes of redress of
+these grievances, if there were proper care taken of the theatre; but
+the history of that is yet more lamentable than that of the decay of
+conversation I gave you.
+
+AC. Pray, sir, a little: I haven't been in town these six years, till
+within this fortnight.
+
+FRIEND. It is now some years since several revolutions in the gay world
+had made the empire of the stage subject to very fatal convulsions,
+which were too dangerous to be cured by the skill of little King
+Oberon,[181] who then sat in the throne of it. The laziness of this
+prince threw him upon the choice of a person who was fit to spend his
+life in contentions, an able and profound attorney, to whom he mortgaged
+his whole empire. This Divito[182] is the most skilful of all
+politicians: he has a perfect art in being unintelligible in discourse,
+and uncomeatable in business. But he having no understanding in this
+polite way, brought in upon us, to get in his money,
+ladder-dancers,[183] rope-dancers, jugglers, and mountebanks, to strut
+in the place of Shakespeare's heroes, and Jonson's humorists. When the
+seat of wit was thus mortgaged, without equity of redemption, an
+architect[184] arose, who has built the muse a new palace, but secured
+her no retinue; so that instead of action there, we have been put off
+by song and dance. This latter help of sound has also begun to fail for
+want of voices; therefore the palace has since been put into the hands
+of a surgeon,[185] who cuts any foreign fellow into an eunuch, and
+passes him upon us for a singer of Italy.
+
+AC. I'll go out of town to-morrow.
+
+FRIEND.[186] Things are come to this pass; and yet the world will not
+understand, that the theatre has much the same effect on the manners of
+the age, as the bank on the credit of the nation. Wit and spirit, humour
+and good sense, can never be revived, but under the government of those
+who are judges of such talents, who know, that whatever is put up in
+their stead, is but a short and trifling expedient, to support the
+appearance of them for a season. It is possible, a peace will give
+leisure to put these matters under new regulations; but at present, all
+the assistance we can see towards our recovery, is as far from giving us
+help, as a poultice is from performing what can be done only by the
+Grand Elixir.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, May 6.
+
+According to our late design in the applauded verses on the
+Morning,[187] which you lately had from hence, we proceed to improve
+that just intention, and present you with other labours, made proper to
+the place in which they were written. The following poem comes from
+Copenhagen, and is as fine a winter-piece as we have ever had from any
+of the schools of the most learned painters. Such images as these give
+us a new pleasure in our sight, and fix upon our minds traces of
+reflection, which accompany us whenever the like objects occur. In
+short, excellent poetry and description dwell upon us so agreeably, that
+all the readers of them are made to think, if not write, like men of
+wit. But it would be injury to detain you longer from this excellent
+performance, which is addressed to the Earl of Dorset by Mr.
+Philips,[188] the author of several choice poems in Mr. Tonson's new
+Miscellany.[189]
+
+                                            _Copenhagen, March 9_, 1709.
+    From frozen climes, and endless tracks of snow,
+    From streams that northern winds forbid to flow;
+    What present shall the muse to Dorset bring;
+    Or how, so near the Pole, attempt to sing?
+    The hoary winter here conceals from sight
+    All pleasing objects that to verse invite.
+    The hills and dales, and the delightful woods,
+    The flowery plains, and silver streaming floods,
+    By snow disguised, in bright confusion lie,
+    And with one dazzling waste fatigue the eye.
+
+    No gentle breathing breeze prepares the spring,
+    No birds within the desert region sing.
+    The ships unmoved the boisterous winds defy,
+    While rattling chariots o'er the ocean fly.
+    The vast leviathan wants room to play,
+    And spout his waters in the face of day.
+    The starving wolves along the main sea prowl,
+    And to the moon in icy valleys howl.
+    For many a shining league the level main
+    Here spreads itself into a glassy plain:
+    There solid billows of enormous size,
+    Alps of green ice, in wild disorder rise.
+
+    And yet but lately have I seen e'en here,
+    The winter in a lovely dress appear;
+    Ere yet the clouds let fall the treasured snow,
+    Or winds begun through hazy skies to blow.
+    At evening a keen eastern breeze arose;
+    And the descending rain unsullied froze.
+    Soon as the silent shades of night withdrew,
+    The ruddy morn disclosed at once to view
+    The face of nature in a rich disguise,
+    And brightened every object to my eyes.
+    For every shrub, and every blade of grass,
+    And every pointed thorn, seemed wrought in glass,
+    In pearls and rubies rich the hawthorns show,
+    While through the ice the crimson berries glow.
+    The thick-sprung reeds the watery marshes yield,
+    Seem polished lances in a hostile field.
+    The stag in limpid currents with surprise,
+    Sees crystal branches on his forehead rise.
+    The spreading oak, the beech, and towering pine,
+    Glazed over, in the freezing ether shine.
+    The frighted birds the rattling branches shun,
+    That wave and glitter in the distant sun.
+
+    When if a sudden gust of wind arise,
+    The brittle forest into atoms flies:
+    The crackling wood beneath the tempest bends,
+    And in a spangled shower the prospect ends.
+    Or if a southern gale the region warm,
+    And by degrees unbind the wintry charm;
+    The traveller a miry country sees,
+    And journeys sad beneath the dropping trees.
+
+    Like some deluded peasant, Merlin leads
+    Through fragrant bowers, and through delicious meads;
+    While here enchanted gardens to him rise,
+    And airy fabrics there attract his eyes,
+    His wandering feet the magic paths pursue;
+    And while he thinks the fair illusion true,
+    The trackless scenes disperse in fluid air,
+    And woods and wilds, and thorny ways appear:
+    A tedious road the weary wretch returns,
+    And, as he goes, the transient vision mourns.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 6.
+
+There has a mail this day arrived from Holland; but the matter of the
+advices importing rather what gives us great expectations, than any
+positive assurances, I shall, for this time, decline giving you what I
+know, and apply the following verses of Mr. Dryden, in the second part
+of "Almanzor," to the present circumstances of things, without
+discovering what my knowledge in astronomy suggests to me.
+
+    _When empire in its childhood first appears,
+    A watchful fate o'er sees its tender years:
+    Till grown more strong, it thrusts and stretches out,
+    And elbows all the kingdoms round about.
+    The place thus made for its first breathing free,
+    It moves again for ease and luxury;
+    Till swelling by degrees it has possest
+    The greater space, and now crowds up the rest.
+    When from behind there starts some petty state,
+    And pushes on its now unwieldy fate.
+    Then down the precipice of time it goes,
+    And sinks in minutes, which in ages rose._[190]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 180: "I'll teach you a way to outwit Mrs. Johnson; it is a
+new-fashioned way of being witty, and they call it a _bite_. You must
+ask a bantering question, or tell some damned lie in a serious manner,
+then she will answer, or speak as if you were in earnest, and then cry
+you, 'Madam, there's a _bite_.' I would not have you undervalue this,
+for it is the constant amusement in Court, and everywhere else among the
+great people; and I let you know it, in order to have it obtain among
+you, and to teach you a new refinement" (Swift's "Journal"). See the
+_Spectator_, Nos. 47, 504: "_A Biter_ is one who tells you a thing you
+have no reason to disbelieve in itself; and perhaps has given you,
+before he bit you, no reason to disbelieve it for his saying it; and if
+you give him credit, laughs in your face, and triumphs that he has
+deceived you. In a word, a _Biter_ is one who thinks you a fool, because
+you do not think him a knave."]
+
+[Footnote 181: Owen McSwiney, a manager of Drury Lane Theatre, and
+afterwards of the Haymarket Theatre. After living in Italy for some
+years, he obtained a place in the Custom-house, and was keeper of the
+King's Mews. On his death in 1754 he left his fortune to Mrs.
+Woffington.]
+
+[Footnote 182: Christopher Rich, manager of Drury Lane Theatre, who died
+in 1714, was at this time involved in a quarrel with the principal
+actors about the profits of their benefits.]
+
+[Footnote 183: Cibber ("Apology," chap. x.) complains that Rich paid
+extraordinary prices to singers, dancers, and other exotic performers,
+which were as constantly deducted out of the sinking salaries of his
+actors. In December, 1709, the Lord Chamberlain ordered that no new
+representations were to be brought upon the stage which were not
+necessary to the better performance of comedy or opera, "such as
+ladder-dancing, antic postures," &c., without his leave.--(Lord
+Chamberlain's Records, Warrant Book, No. 22.)]
+
+[Footnote 184: Sir John Vanbrugh built the Haymarket Theatre in 1705.
+The new house was opened with a translation of an Italian opera, "The
+Triumph of Love", which met with little success. This was followed by
+Vanbrugh's "Confederacy."]
+
+[Footnote 185: John James Heidegger, who died in 1749, aged 90, was the
+son of a Swiss clergyman. When over 40 he came to England, and became
+the chief director of the opera-house and masquerades. His face was
+remarkably ugly.]
+
+[Footnote 186: "Trim", in original editions.]
+
+[Footnote 187: See No. 9.]
+
+[Footnote 188: "Philips writeth verses in a sledge upon the frozen sea,"
+wrote Swift, "and transmits them hither to thrive in our warm climate
+under the shelter of my Lord Dorset." Addison refers to this poem by
+Ambrose Philips in No. 223 of the _Spectator_, and Pope commends it.]
+
+[Footnote 189: The sixth and last volume of Tonson's "Miscellany" opens
+with Philips' Pastorals, and closes with those of Pope.]
+
+[Footnote 190: "Almanzor and Almahide; or, The Conquest of Granada. The
+Second Part," act i. sc. I.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 13. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, May 7_, to _Tuesday, May 10_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 8.
+
+Much hurry and business had to-day perplexed me into a mood too
+thoughtful for going into company; for which reason, instead of the
+tavern, I went into Lincoln's Inn Walks; and having taken a round or
+two, I sat down, according to the allowed familiarity of these places,
+on a bench; at the other end of which sat a venerable gentleman, who
+speaking with a very affable air, "Mr. Bickerstaff," said he, "I take it
+for a very great piece of good fortune, that you have found me out."
+"Sir," said I, "I had never, that I know of, the honour of seeing you
+before." "That," replied he, "is what I have often lamented; but I
+assure you, I have for many years done you good offices, without being
+observed by you; or else, when you had any little glimpse of my being
+concerned in an affair, you have fled from me, and shunned me like an
+enemy; but however, the part I am to act in the world is such, that I am
+to go on in doing good, though I meet with never so many repulses, even
+from those I oblige." This, thought I, shows a great good nature, but
+little judgment in the persons upon whom he confers his favours. He
+immediately took notice to me, that he observed by my countenance I
+thought him indiscreet in his beneficence, and proceeded to tell me his
+quality in the following manner: "I know thee, Isaac, to be so well
+versed in the occult sciences, that I need not much preface, or make
+long preparations to gain your faith that there are airy beings, who are
+employed in the care and attendance of men, as nurses are to infants,
+till they come to an age in which they can act of themselves. These
+beings are usually called amongst men, guardian angels; and, Mr.
+Bickerstaff, I am to acquaint you, that I am to be yours for some time
+to come; it being our orders to vary our stations, and sometimes to have
+one patient under our protection, and sometimes another, with a power of
+assuming what shape we please, to ensnare our wards into their own good.
+I have of late been upon such hard duty, and know you have so much work
+for me, that I think fit to appear to you face to face, to desire you
+would give me as little occasion for vigilance as you can." "Sir," said
+I, "it will be a great instruction to me in my behaviour, if you please
+to give me some account of your late employments, and what hardships or
+satisfactions you have had in them, that I may govern myself
+accordingly." He answered: "To give you an example of the drudgery we go
+through, I will entertain you only with my three last stations: I was on
+the 1st of April last, put to mortify a great beauty, with whom I was a
+week; from her I went to a common swearer, and have been last with a
+gamester. When I first came to my lady, I found my great work was to
+guard well her eyes and ears; but her flatterers were so numerous, and
+the house, after the modern way, so full of looking-glasses, that I
+seldom had her safe but in her sleep. Whenever we went abroad, we were
+surrounded by an army of enemies: when a well-made man appeared, he was
+sure to have a side-glance of observation: if a disagreeable fellow, he
+had a full face, out of mere inclination to conquests. But at the close
+of the evening, on the sixth of the last month, my ward was sitting on a
+couch, reading Ovid's 'Epistles'; and as she came to this line of Helen
+to Paris,
+
+    _She half consents who silently denies;_[191]
+
+entered Philander,[192] who is the most skilful of all men in an address
+to women. He is arrived at the perfection of that art which gains them,
+which is, to talk like a very miserable man, but look like a very happy
+one. I saw Dictinna blush at his entrance, which gave me the alarm; but
+he immediately said something so agreeable on her being at study, and
+the novelty of finding a lady employed in so grave a manner, that he on
+a sudden became very familiarly a man of no consequence; and in an
+instant laid all her suspicions of his skill asleep, as he almost had
+done mine, till I observed him very dangerously turn his discourse upon
+the elegance of her dress, and her judgment in the choice of that very
+pretty mourning. Having had women before under my care, I trembled at
+the apprehension of a man of sense, who could talk upon trifles, and
+resolved to stick to my post with all the circumspection imaginable. In
+short, I prepossessed her against all he could say to the advantage of
+her dress and person; but he turned again the discourse, where I found I
+had no power over her, on the abusing her friends and acquaintance. He
+allowed indeed, that Flora had a little beauty, and a great deal of wit;
+but then she was so ungainly in her behaviour, and such a laughing
+hoyden--Pastorella had with him the allowance of being blameless: but
+what was that towards being praiseworthy? To be only innocent, is not to
+be virtuous. He afterwards spoke so much against Mrs. Dipple's forehead,
+Mrs. Prim's mouth, Mrs. Dentifrice's teeth, and Mrs. Fidget's cheeks,
+that she grew downright in love with him: for it is always to be
+understood, that a lady takes all you detract from the rest of her sex
+to be a gift to her. In a word, things went so far, that I was
+dismissed, and she will remember that evening nine months, from the 6th
+of April, by a very remarkable token. The next, as I said, I went to was
+a common swearer: never was creature so puzzled as myself when I came
+first to view his brain; half of it was worn out, and filled up with
+mere expletives, that had nothing to do with any other parts of the
+texture; therefore, when he called for his clothes in a morning, he
+would cry, 'John--?' John does not answer. 'What a plague! Nobody there?
+What the devil, and rot me! John, for a lazy dog as you are.' I knew no
+way to cure him, but by writing down all he said one morning as he was
+dressing, and laying it before him on the toilet when he came to pick
+his teeth. The last recital I gave him of what he said for half an hour
+before, was, 'What, a pox rot me! Where is the washball? Call the
+chairmen: damn them, I warrant they are at the ale-house already!
+Zounds, and confound them.' When he came to the glass, he takes up my
+note--'Ha! this fellow is worse than me: what, does he swear with pen
+and ink?' But reading on, he found them to be his own words. The
+stratagem had so good an effect upon him, that he grew immediately a new
+man, and is learning to speak without an oath, which makes him extremely
+short in his phrases; for, as I observed before, a common swearer has a
+brain without any idea on the swearing side; therefore my ward has yet
+mighty little to say, and is forced to substitute some other vehicle of
+nonsense to supply the defect of his usual expletives. When I left him,
+he made use of, 'Oddsbodikins!' 'Oh me!' and, 'Never stir alive!' and so
+forth; which gave me hopes of his recovery. So I went to the next I told
+you of, the gamester. When we first take our place about a man, the
+receptacles of the pericranium are immediately searched. In his, I found
+no one ordinary trace of thinking; but strong passion, violent desires,
+and a continued series of different changes, had torn it to pieces.
+There appeared no middle condition; the triumph of a prince, or the
+misery of a beggar, were his alternate states. I was with him no longer
+than one day, which was yesterday. In the morning at twelve, we were
+worth four thousand pounds; at three, we were arrived at six thousand;
+half an hour after, we were reduced to one thousand; at four of the
+clock, we were down to two hundred; at five, to fifty; at six, to five;
+at seven, to one guinea; the next bet, to nothing: this morning, he
+borrowed half a crown of the maid who cleans his shoes; and is now
+gaming in Lincoln's Inn Fields among the boys for farthings and oranges,
+till he has made up three pieces, and then he returns to White's into
+the best company in town." This ended our first discourse; and it is
+hoped, you will forgive me, that I have picked so little out of my
+companion at our first interview. In the next, it is possible he may
+tell me more pleasing incidents; for though he is a familiar, he is not
+an evil spirit.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 9.
+
+We hear from the Hague of the 14th instant, N.S., that Monsieur de Torcy
+hath had frequent conferences with the Grand Pensioner, and the other
+Ministers who were heretofore commissioned to treat with Monsieur
+Rouillé. The preliminaries of a peace are almost settled, and the
+proceedings wait only for the arrival of the Duke of Marlborough; after
+whose approbation of the articles proposed, it is not doubted but the
+methods of the treaty will be publicly known. In the meantime, the
+States have declared an abhorrence of making any step in this great
+affair, but in concert with the Court of Great Britain, and other
+princes of the Alliance. The posture of affairs in France does
+necessarily oblige that nation to be very much in earnest in their
+offers; and Monsieur de Torcy hath professed to the Grand Pensioner,
+that he will avoid all occasions of giving him the least jealousy of his
+using any address in private conversations for accomplishing the ends of
+his embassy. It is said, that as soon as the preliminaries are adjusted,
+that Minister is to return to the French Court. The States of Holland
+have resolved to make it an instruction to all their men-of-war and
+privateers, to bring into their ports whatever neutral ships they shall
+meet with laden with corn, and bound for France; and to avoid all cause
+of complaint from the potentates to whom these ships shall belong, their
+full demand for their freight shall be paid them there. The French
+Protestants residing in that country have applied themselves to their
+respective magistrates, desiring that there may be an article in the
+treaty of peace, which may give liberty of conscience to the Protestants
+in France. Monsieur Bosnage, minister of the Walloon church at
+Rotterdam, has been at the Hague and hath had some conferences with the
+deputies of the States on that subject. It is reported there, that all
+the French refugees in those dominions are to be naturalised, that they
+may enjoy the same good effects of the treaty with the Hollanders
+themselves, in respect of France.
+
+Letters from Paris say, the people conceive great hopes of a sudden
+peace, from Monsieur Torcy's being employed in the negotiation, he being
+a Minister of too great weight in that Court, to be sent on any
+employment in which his master would not act in a manner wherein he
+might justly promise himself success. The French advices add, that there
+is an insurrection in Poictou; 3000 men having taken up arms, and beaten
+the troops which were appointed to disperse them: three of the mutineers
+being taken, were immediately executed; and as many of the king's party
+were used after the same manner.
+
+Our late Act of Naturalisation[193] hath had so great an effect in
+foreign parts, that some princes have prohibited the French refugees in
+their dominions to sell or transfer their estates to any other of their
+subjects; and at the same time have granted them greater immunities than
+they hitherto enjoyed. It has been also thought necessary to restrain
+their own subjects from leaving their native country, on pain of death.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 191: Ovid's "Epistles," 1709; translation of "Helen's Epistle
+to Paris," by the Earl of Mulgrave and Dryden.]
+
+[Footnote 192: An original for Philander has been found in Lord Halifax.
+See No. 49.]
+
+[Footnote 193: See No. 9. "If the Whigs were now restored to power, the
+bill [for a general naturalisation] now to be repealed, would then be
+re-enacted, and the birthright of an Englishman reduced again to the
+value of twelve pence."--(_Examiner_, vol. i. No. 26.)]
+
+
+
+
+No. 14. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday May 10_, to _Thursday, May 12_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 10.
+
+Had it not been that my familiar had appeared to me, as I told you in my
+last, in person, I had certainly been unable to have found even words,
+without meaning, to keep up my intelligence with the town: but he has
+checked me severely for my despondence, and ordered me to go on in my
+design of observing upon things, and forbearing persons; "for," said he,
+"the age you live in is such, that a good picture of any vice or virtue
+will infallibly be misrepresented; and though none will take the kind
+descriptions you make so much to themselves, as to wish well to the
+author, yet all will resent the ill characters you produce, out of fear
+of their own turn in the licence you must be obliged to take, if you
+point at particular persons." I took his admonition kindly, and
+immediately promised him to beg pardon of the author of the "Advice to
+the Poets,"[194] for my raillery upon his work; though I aimed at no
+more in that examination, but to convince him, and all men of genius, of
+the folly of laying themselves out on such plans as are below their
+characters. I hope too it was done without ill-breeding, and nothing
+spoken below what a civilian (as it is allowed I am) may utter to a
+physician. After this preface, all the world may be safe from my
+writings; for if I can find nothing to commend, I am silent, and will
+forbear the subject: for, though I am a reformer, I scorn to be an
+inquisitor.
+
+It would become all men, as well as me, to lay before them the noble
+character of Verus the magistrate,[195] who always sat in triumph over,
+and contempt of, vice; he never searched after it, or spared it when it
+came before him: at the same time, he could see through the hypocrisy
+and disguise of those, who have no pretence to virtue themselves, but by
+their severity to the vicious. This same Verus was, in times long past,
+chief justice (as we call it amongst us) in Fælicia.[196] He was a man
+of profound knowledge of the laws of his country, and as just an
+observer of them in his own person. He considered justice as a cardinal
+virtue, not as a trade for maintenance. Wherever he was judge, he never
+forgot that he was also counsel. The criminal before him was always sure
+he stood before his country, and, in a sort, a parent of it. The
+prisoner knew, that though his spirit was broken with guilt, and
+incapable of language to defend itself, all would be gathered from him
+which could conduce to his safety; and that his judge would wrest no law
+to destroy him, nor conceal any that could save him. In his time, there
+were a nest of pretenders to justice, who happened to be employed to put
+things in a method for being examined before him at his usual sessions:
+these animals were to Verus, as monkeys are to men, so like, that you
+can hardly disown them; but so base, that you are ashamed of their
+fraternity. It grew a phrase, "Who would do justice on the justices?"
+That certainly would Verus. I have seen an old trial where he sat judge
+on two of them; one was called Trick-Track, the other Tearshift;[197]
+one was a learned judge of sharpers, the other the quickest of all men
+at finding out a wench. Trick-Track never spared a pickpocket, but was a
+companion to cheats: Tearshift would make compliments to wenches of
+quality, but certainly commit poor ones. If a poor rogue wanted a
+lodging, Trick-Track sent him to gaol for a thief: if a poor whore went
+only with one thin petticoat, Tearshift would imprison her for being
+loose in her dress. These patriots infested the days of Verus, while
+they alternately committed and released each other's prisoners. But
+Verus regarded them as criminals, and always looked upon men as they
+stood in the eye of justice, without respecting whether they sat on the
+bench, or stood at the bar.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, May 11
+
+Yesterday we were entertained with the tragedy of "The Earl of
+Essex,"[198] in which there is not one good line, and yet a play which
+was never seen without drawing tears from some part of the audience: a
+remarkable instance, that the soul is not to be moved by words, but
+things; for the incidents in this drama are laid together so happily,
+that the spectator makes the play for himself, by the force which the
+circumstance has upon his imagination. Thus, in spite of the most dry
+discourses, and expressions almost ridiculous with respect to propriety,
+it is impossible for one unprejudiced to see it untouched with pity. I
+must confess, this effect is not wrought on such as examine why they are
+pleased; but it never fails to appear on those who are not too learned
+in nature, to be moved by her first suggestions. It is certain, the
+person and behaviour of Mr. Wilks[199] has no small share in conducing
+to the popularity of the play; and when a handsome fellow is going to a
+more coarse exit than beheading, his shape and countenance make every
+tender one reprieve him with all her heart, without waiting till she
+hears his dying words.
+
+This evening "The Alchemist"[200] was played. This comedy is an example
+of Ben's extensive genius and penetration into the passions and follies
+of mankind. The scene in the fourth act, where all the cheated people
+oppose the man that would open their eyes, has something in it so
+inimitably excellent, that it is certainly as great a masterpiece as has
+ever appeared by any hand. The author's great address in showing
+covetousness the motive of the actions of the Puritan, the epicure, the
+gamester, and the trader; and that all their endeavours, how differently
+soever they seem to tend, centre only in that one point of gain, shows
+he had to a great perfection, that discernment of spirit, which
+constitutes a genius for comedy.
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, May 11.
+
+It is not to be imagined how far the violence of our desires will carry
+us towards our own deceit in the pursuit of what we wish for. A
+gentleman here this evening was giving me an account of a dumb
+fortune-teller,[201] who outdoes Mr. Partridge, myself, or the
+unborn-doctor,[202] for predictions. All his visitants come to him full
+of expectations, and pay his own rate for the interpretations they put
+upon his shrugs and nods. There is a fine rich City widow stole thither
+the other day (though it is not six weeks since her husband's departure
+from her company to rest), and, with her trusty maid, demanded of him,
+whether she should marry again, by holding up two fingers, like horns on
+her forehead. The wizard held up both his hands forked. The relict
+desired to know, whether he meant by his holding up both hands, to
+represent that she had one husband before, and that she should have
+another? Or that he intimated, she should have two more? The cunning-man
+looked a little sour; upon which Betty jogged her mistress, who gave the
+other guinea; and he made her understand, she should positively have two
+more; but shaked his head, and hinted, that they should not live long
+with her. The widow sighed, and gave him the other half-guinea. After
+this prepossession, all that she had next to do, was to make sallies to
+our end of the town, and find out who it is her fate to have. There are
+two who frequent this place, whom she takes for men of vogue, and of
+whom her imagination has given her the choice. They are both the
+appearances of fine gentlemen, to such as do not know when they see
+persons of that turn; and indeed, they are industrious enough to come at
+that character, to deserve the reputation of being such: but this town
+will not allow us to be the things we seem to aim at, and are too
+discerning to be fobbed off with pretences. One of these pretty fellows
+fails by his laborious exactness; the other, by his as much studied
+negligence. Frank Careless, as soon as his valet has helped on and
+adjusted his clothes, goes to his glass, sets his wig awry, tumbles his
+cravat; and in short, undresses himself to go into company. Will Nice is
+so little satisfied with his dress, that all the time he is at a visit,
+he is still mending it, and is for that reason the more insufferable;
+for he who studies carelessness, has, at least, his work the sooner done
+of the two. The widow is distracted whom to take for her first man; for
+Nice is every way so careful, that she fears his length of days; and
+Frank is so loose, that she has apprehensions for her own health with
+him. I am puzzled how to give a just idea of them; but in a word,
+Careless is a coxcomb, and Nice a fop: both, you'll say, very hopeful
+candidates for a gay woman just set at liberty. But there is a whisper,
+her maid will give her to Tom Terrour the gamester. This fellow has
+undone so many women, that he'll certainly succeed if he is introduced;
+for nothing so much prevails with the vain part of that sex, as the
+glory of deceiving them who have deceived others.
+
+    _Desunt multa_.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 11.
+
+Letters from Berlin, bearing date May 11, N.S., inform us, that the
+birthday of her Prussian Majesty has been celebrated there with all
+possible magnificence; and the king made her on that occasion a present
+of jewels to the value of thirty thousand crowns. The Marquis de Quesne,
+who has distinguished himself by his great zeal for the Protestant
+interest, was, at the time of the despatch of these letters, at that
+Court, soliciting the king to take care, that an article in behalf of
+the refugees, admitting their return to France, should be inserted in
+the treaty of peace. They write from Hanover of the 14th, that his
+electoral highness had received an express from Count Merci,
+representing how necessary it was to the common cause, that he would
+please to hasten to the Rhine; for that nothing but his presence could
+quicken the measures towards bringing the imperial army into the field.
+There are very many speculations upon the intended interview of the King
+of Denmark and King Augustus. The latter has made such preparations for
+the reception of the other, that it is said his Danish Majesty will be
+entertained in Saxony with much more elegance than he met with in Italy
+itself.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 18th instant, N.S., say, that his Grace
+the Duke of Marlborough landed the night before at the Brill, after
+having been kept out at sea by adverse winds two days longer than is
+usual in that passage. His Excellency the Lord Townshend, her Majesty's
+ambassador extraordinary and plenipotentiary to the States-General, was
+driven into the Veere in Zealand on Thursday last, from whence he came
+to the Hague within few hours after the arrival of his grace. The duke,
+soon after his coming to the Hague, had a visit from the Pensioner of
+Holland. All things relating to the peace were in suspense till this
+interview; nor is it yet known what resolutions will be taken on that
+subject; for the troops of the Allies have fresh orders despatched to
+them to move from their respective quarters, and march with all
+expedition to the frontiers, where the enemy are making their utmost
+efforts for the defence of their country. These advices further inform
+us, that the Marquis de Torcy had received an answer from the Court of
+France to his letters which he had sent thither by an express on the
+Friday before.
+
+Mr. Bickerstaff has received letters from Mr. Coltstaff, Mr. Whipstaff,
+and Mrs. Rebecca Wagstaff; all which relate chiefly to their being left
+out in the genealogy of the family lately published;[203] but my cousin
+being a clerk in the Heralds' Office who writ that draught, and being at
+present under the displeasure of the chapter, it is feared, if that
+matter should be touched upon at this time, the young gentleman would
+lose his place for treason against the Kings at Arms.[204]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 194: Sir Richard Blackmore. See No. 3.]
+
+[Footnote 195: Sir John Holt (see _Examiner_, vol. iv. No. 14) was born
+in 1642, made Recorder of London and knighted in 1686, and appointed
+Chief Justice of the King's Bench in 1689, a position which he filled
+very ably and impartially for twenty-one years. He died March 5, 1710.]
+
+[Footnote 196: Britain.]
+
+[Footnote 197: According to a MS. note in the copy of the Tatler
+referred to in a note to No. 4, these justices were "Sir H. C---- and
+Mr. C----r." Who the latter was I do not know; the former appears to be
+meant for Sir Henry Colt, of whom Luttrell gives some particulars. In
+April 1694, a Bill was found against Sir Henry Colt and Mr. Lake, son to
+the late Bishop of Chichester, for fighting a duel in St. James's Park;
+the trial was to be on May 31. Sir Henry Colt, a Justice of the Peace,
+had a duel with Beau Feilding on the 11th January, 1696, and Colt was
+run through the body. A reward of £200 was offered for Feilding's
+arrest, and he was captured in March; but in the following month he was
+set at liberty upon Colt promising not to prosecute. In July 1698, Colt
+unsuccessfully contested Westminster, and in December the Committee of
+Privileges decided that his petition against the return of Mr.
+Chancellor Montague and Mr. Secretary Vernon was vexatious, frivolous
+and scandalous; and Colt was put out of the commission of the peace for
+Westminster and Middlesex. In 1701, he became M.P. for Westminster, for
+one Parliament only. In August 1702, he was again displaced from being a
+Justice for Westminster. In July 1708, he was defeated at Westminster,
+and the petition which he lodged against Mr. Medlicot's election was
+dismissed, after Huggins, the head bailiff, had been examined.]
+
+[Footnote 198: By John Banks, 1685.]
+
+[Footnote 199: Robert Wilks died in 1732, age 62. See No. 182, and the
+_Spectator_, Nos. 268, 370: "When I am commending Wilks for representing
+the tenderness of a husband and a father in 'Macbeth', the contrition of
+a reformed prodigal in 'Harry the Fourth', the winning emptiness of a
+young man of good-nature and wealth in 'The Trip to the Jubilee', the
+officiousness of an artful servant in 'The Fox', when thus I celebrate
+Wilks, I talk to all the world who are engaged in any of those
+circumstances."]
+
+[Footnote 200: Ben Jonson's "Alchemist" was published in 1610.]
+
+[Footnote 201: Duncan Campbell, who is best known through Defoe's
+"History of the Life and Adventures of Mr. Duncan Campbell, a gentleman,
+who, though deaf and dumb, writes down any strange name at first sight,
+with their future contingencies of fortune," 1720. Several other books
+about Campbell appeared, and some said that he only pretended to be deaf
+and dumb. Campbell had a very large number of clients (_Spectator_, No.
+560). He died in 1730.]
+
+[Footnote 202: The name of this quack was Kirleus. He pretended to
+extraordinary endowments, on the score of his having been introduced
+into the world by means of the Cesarean operation. In the _Examiner_,
+vol. i. No. 49, original edition in folio, there is among the
+advertisements subjoined, July 5, 1711, notice given that some of his
+nostrums, which had been tested for fifty years, were to be had of "Mary
+Kirleus, widow of John Kirleus, son of Dr. Tho. Kirleus, a sworn
+physician in ordinary to K. Charles II." Nichols says that there were
+two male and two female quacks of the name of Kirleus; Thomas the
+father, and his son John, Susannah the widow of Thomas, and Mary the
+relict of John; but it does not appear that any of them all were rich.
+The women, after the decease of their husbands, engaged in a paper war,
+which was carried on about this time in polemical advertisements. Dr.
+Kirleus and Dr. Case (see No. 20) are said to have been sent for to
+prescribe to Partridge in his last illness. Garth ("Dispensary," canto
+iii.) wrote:
+
+    "Whole troops of quacks shall join us on the place,
+    From great Kirleus down to Doctor Case."
+
+"In Grays-Inn-lane in Plow-yard, the third door, lives Dr. Thomas
+Kirleus, a Collegiate Physician and sworn Physician in Ordinary to King
+Charles the Second until his death; who with a drink and pill (hindring
+no business) undertakes to cure any ulcers," &c. &c. "Take heed whom you
+trust in physick, for it's become a common cheat to profess it. He gives
+his opinion to all that writes or comes for nothing" (_Athenian
+Mercury_, February 13, 1694). See also _Tatler_, Nos. 41, 226, 240.]
+
+[Footnote 203: See No. 11.]
+
+[Footnote 204: "Castabella's complaint is come to hand" (folio). See No.
+16.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 15. [STEELE.
+
+From _Thursday, May 12_, to _Saturday, May 14_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 12.
+
+I have taken a resolution hereafter, on any want of intelligence, to
+carry my familiar abroad with me, who has promised to give me very
+proper and just notices of persons and things, to make up the history of
+the passing day. He is wonderfully skilful in the knowledge of men and
+manners, which has made me more than ordinary curious to know how he
+came to that perfection, and I communicated to him that doubt. "Mr.
+Pacolet," said I, "I am mightily surprised to see you so good a judge of
+our nature and circumstances, since you are a mere spirit, and have no
+knowledge of the bodily part of us." He answered, smiling, "You are
+mistaken, I have been one of you, and lived a month amongst you, which
+gives me an exact sense of your condition. You are to know, that all who
+enter into human life, have a certain date or stamen given to their
+being, which they only who die of age may be said to have arrived at;
+but it is ordered sometimes by fate, that such as die infants, are after
+death to attend mankind to the end of that stamen of being in
+themselves, which was broke off by sickness or any other disaster. These
+are proper guardians to men, as being sensible of the infirmity of their
+state. You are philosopher enough to know, that the difference of men's
+understanding proceeds only from the various dispositions of their
+organs; so that he who dies at a month old, is in the next life as
+knowing (though more innocent) as they who live to fifty; and after
+death, they have as perfect a memory and judgment of all that passed in
+their lifetime, as I have of all the revolutions in that uneasy,
+turbulent condition of yours; and, you'd say, I had enough of it in a
+month, were I to tell you all my misfortunes." "A life of a month, can't
+have, one would think, much variety; but pray," said I, "let us have
+your story."
+
+Then he proceeds in the following manner:
+
+"It was one of the most wealthy families in Great Britain into which I
+was born, and it was a very great happiness to me that it so happened,
+otherwise I had still, in all probability, been living: but I shall
+recount to you all the occurrences of my short and miserable existence,
+just as, by examining into the traces made in my brain, they appeared
+to me at that time. The first thing that ever struck my senses, was a
+noise over my head of one shrieking; after which, methought I took a
+full jump, and found myself in the hands of a sorceress, who seemed as
+if she had been long waking and employed in some incantation: I was
+thoroughly frightened, and cried out, but she immediately seemed to go
+on in some magical operation, and anointed me from head to foot. What
+they meant I could not imagine; for there gathered a great crowd about
+me, crying, 'An heir, an heir'; upon which I grew a little still, and
+believed this was a ceremony to be used only to great persons, and such
+as made them, what they called, Heirs. I lay very quiet; but the witch,
+for no manner of reason or provocation in the world, takes me and binds
+my head as hard as possibly she could, then ties up both my legs, and
+makes me swallow down a horrid mixture; I thought it a harsh entrance
+into life to begin with taking physic; but I was forced to it, or else
+must have taken down a great instrument in which she gave it me. When I
+was thus dressed, I was carried to a bedside, where a fine young lady
+(my mother I wot) had like to have hugged me to death. From her, they
+faced me about, and there was a thing with quite another look from the
+rest of the room, to whom they talked about my nose. He seemed
+wonderfully pleased to see me; but I knew since, my nose belonged to
+another family. That into which I was born, is one of the most numerous
+amongst you; therefore crowds of relations came every day to
+congratulate my arrival; among others, my cousin Betty, the greatest
+romp in nature; she whisks me such a height over her head, that I cried
+out for fear of falling. She pinched me, and called me squealing chit,
+and threw me into a girl's arms that was taken in to tend me. The girl
+was very proud of the womanly employment of a nurse, and took upon her
+to strip and dress me anew, because I made a noise, to see what ailed
+me: she did so, and stuck a pin in every joint about me. I still cried:
+upon which, she lays me on my face in her lap; and to quiet me, fell a
+nailing in all the pins, by clapping me on the back, and screaming a
+lullaby. But my pain made me exalt my voice above hers, which brought up
+the nurse, the witch I first saw, and my grandmother. The girl is turned
+down stairs, and I stripped again, as well to find out what ailed me, as
+to satisfy my granam's further curiosity. This good old woman's visit
+was the cause of all my troubles. You are to understand, that I was
+hitherto bred by hand, and anybody that stood next, gave me pap, if I
+did but open my lips; insomuch, that I was grown so cunning, as to
+pretend myself asleep when I was not, to prevent my being crammed. But
+my grandmother began a loud lecture upon the idleness of the wives of
+this age, who, for fear of their shape, forbear suckling their own
+offspring; and ten nurses were immediately sent for; one was whispered
+to have a wanton eye, and would soon spoil her milk; another was in a
+consumption; the third had an ill voice, and would frighten me, instead
+of lulling me to sleep. Such exceptions were made against all but one
+country milch-wench, to whom I was committed, and put to the breast.
+This careless jade was eternally romping with the footmen, and downright
+starved me; insomuch that I daily pined away, and should never have been
+relieved, had it not been, that on the thirtieth day of my life, a
+fellow of the Royal Society,[205] who had writ upon Cold Baths, came to
+visit me, and solemnly protested, I was utterly lost for want of that
+method: upon which he soused me head and ears into a pail of water,
+where I had the good fortune to be drowned, and so escaped being lashed
+into a linguist till sixteen, running after wenches till twenty-five,
+and being married to an ill-natured wife till sixty: which had certainly
+been my fate, had not the enchantment between body and soul been broke
+by this philosopher. Thus, till the age I should have otherwise lived, I
+am obliged to watch the steps of men; and if you please, shall accompany
+you in your present walks, and get you intelligence from the aërial
+lackey, who is in waiting, what are the thoughts and purposes of any
+whom you inquire for." I accepted his kind offer, and immediately took
+him with me in a hack to White's.
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, May 13.
+
+We got in hither, and my companion threw a powder round us, that made me
+as invisible as himself; so that we could see and hear all others;
+ourselves unseen and unheard.
+
+The first thing we took notice of, was a nobleman of a goodly and frank
+aspect, with his generous birth and temper visible in it, playing at
+cards with a creature of a black and horrid countenance, wherein were
+plainly delineated the arts of his mind, cozenage and falsehood. They
+were marking their game with counters, on which we could see
+inscriptions, imperceptible to any but us. My lord had scored with
+pieces of ivory, on which were writ, Good Fame, Glory, Riches, Honour,
+and Posterity. The spectre over against him had on his counters the
+inscriptions of, Dishonour, Impudence, Poverty, Ignorance, and Want of
+Shame. "Bless me!" said I, "sure my lord does not see what he plays
+for!" "As well as I do," says Pacolet. "He despises that fellow he
+plays with, and scorns himself for making him his companion." At the
+very instant he was speaking, I saw the fellow who played with my lord,
+hide two cards in the roll of his stocking: Pacolet immediately stole
+them from thence; upon which the nobleman soon after won the game. The
+little triumph he appeared in, when he got such a trifling stock of
+ready money, though he had ventured so great sums with indifference,
+increased my admiration. But Pacolet began to talk to me. "Mr. Isaac,
+this to you looks wonderful, but not at all to us higher beings: that
+noble has as many good qualities as any man of his order, and seems to
+have no faults but what, as I may say, are excrescences from virtues: he
+is generous to a prodigality, more affable than is consistent with his
+quality, and courageous to a rashness. Yet, after all this, the source
+of his whole conduct is (though he would hate himself if he knew it)
+mere avarice. The ready cash laid before the gamester's counters makes
+him venture, as you see, and lay distinction against infamy, abundance
+against want; in a word, all that's desirable against all that's to be
+avoided." "However," said I, "be sure you disappoint the sharpers
+to-night, and steal from them all the cards they hide." Pacolet obeyed
+me, and my lord went home with their whole bank in his pocket.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, May 13.
+
+To-night was acted a second time a comedy, called "The Busy Body:"[206]
+this play is written by a lady. In old times, we used to sit upon a play
+here after it was acted; but now the entertainment is turned another
+way; not but there are considerable men appear in all ages, who, for
+some eminent quality or invention, deserve the esteem and thanks of the
+public. Such a benefactor is a gentleman of this house, who is observed
+by the surgeons with much envy; for he has invented an engine for the
+prevention of harms by love adventures, and by great care and
+application, hath made it an immodesty to name his name. This act of
+self-denial has gained this worthy member of the commonwealth a great
+reputation. Some lawgivers have departed from their abodes for ever, and
+commanded the observation of their laws till their return; others have
+used other artifices to fly the applause of their merit; but this person
+shuns glory with greater address, and has, by giving his engine his own
+name, made it obscene to speak of him more. However, he is ranked among,
+and received by the modern wits, as a great promoter of gallantry and
+pleasure. But I fear, pleasure is less understood in this age, which so
+much pretends to it, than in any since the creation. It was admirably
+said of him who first took notice, that (_res est severa voluptas_)
+there is a certain severity in pleasure. Without that, all decency is
+banished; and if reason is not to be present at our greatest
+satisfactions, of all the races of creatures, the human is the most
+miserable. It was not so of old; when Virgil describes a wit, he always
+means a virtuous man; and all his sentiments of men of genius are such
+as show persons distinguished from the common level of mankind; such as
+placed happiness in the contempt of low fears, and mean gratifications:
+fears, which we are subject to with the vulgar; and pleasures, which we
+have in common with beasts. With these illustrious personages, the
+wisest man was the greatest wit; and none was thought worthy of that
+character, unless he answered this excellent description of the poet:
+
+    _Qui--metus omnes et inexorabile fatum
+    Subjecit pedibus, strepitumque Acherontis avari._[207]
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 13.
+
+We had this morning advice, that some English merchant-ships, convoyed
+by the _Bristol_ of fifty-four guns, were met with by a part of Mons. du
+Guy Trouin's squadron, who engaged the convoy. That ship defended itself
+till the English merchants got clear of the enemy, but being disabled
+was herself taken. Within few hours after, my Lord Dursley[208] came up
+with part of his squadron and engaging the French, retook the _Bristol_
+(which being very much shattered, sunk), and took the _Glorieux_, a ship
+of forty-four guns, as also a privateer of fourteen. Before this action,
+his lordship had taken two French merchant-men; and had, at the despatch
+of these advices, brought the whole safe into Plymouth.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 205: Probably William Oliver, M.D., F.R.S., who published a
+Dissertation on Bath waters, and cold baths, in 1709 (_Flying Post_,
+Feb. 10 to 12, 1709). Sir John Floyer's "Inquiry into the right Use and
+Abuses of the Hot, Cold, and Temperate Baths in England, &c.," appeared
+in 1697.]
+
+[Footnote 206: By Mrs. Susannah Centlivre, a lady of Whig views, who was
+possessed of considerable beauty. (See also No. 19.) Isaac Bickerstaff
+had promised a prologue to "The Busy Body" before it was to be first
+played, as appears from a poetical epistle of Mrs. Centlivre, claiming
+the performance of such a promise, printed by Charles Lillie ("Orig.
+Letters to _Tatler_ and _Spectator_" vol. ii. pp. 33, 34). Leigh Hunt
+("The Town") suggests that Pope put Mrs. Centlivre in the "Dunciad" (ii.
+410--"At last Centlivre felt her voice to fail") on account of her
+intimacy with Steele and other friends of Addison. Mrs. Centlivre
+(1667-1723) married, as her second husband, Mr. Carrol, a gentleman of
+the army, and afterwards Mr. Joseph Centlivre, principal cook to Queen
+Anne, 1706.]
+
+[Footnote 207: Virgil, "Georgics," ii. 492.]
+
+[Footnote 208: In November 1709, James Viscount Dursley was raised to
+the rank of Vice-Admiral of the Blue. Next year he succeeded his father
+in the title of Earl of Berkeley.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 16. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, May 14_, to _Tuesday, May 17_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, May 15.
+
+Sir Thomas,[209] of this house, has shown me some letters from the Bath,
+which give accounts of what passes among the good company of that place;
+and allowed me to transcribe one of them, that seems to be writ by some
+of Sir Thomas' particular acquaintances, and is as follows:
+
+"DEAR KNIGHT,
+
+"I desire you would give my humble service to all our friends, which I
+speak of to you (out of method) in the very beginning of my epistle,
+lest the present disorders, by which this seat of gallantry and pleasure
+is torn to pieces, should make me forget it. You keep so good company,
+that you know Bath is stocked with such as come hither to be relieved
+from luxuriant health, or imaginary sickness, and consequently is always
+as well stowed with gallants as invalids, who live together in a very
+good understanding. But the season is so early, that our fine company is
+not yet arrived: and the warm Bath, which in heathen times was dedicated
+to Venus, is now used only by such as really want it for health's sake.
+There are however a good many strangers, among whom are two ambitious
+ladies, who being both in the autumn of their life, take the opportunity
+of placing themselves at the head of such as we are, before the Chloes,
+Clarissas, and Pastorellas come down. One of these two is excessively
+in pain, that the ugly being called Time will make wrinkles in spite of
+the lead forehead-cloth; and therefore hides, with the gaiety of her
+air, the volubility of her tongue, and quickness of her motion, the
+injuries which it has done her. The other lady is but two years behind
+her in life, and dreads as much being laid aside as the former, and
+consequently has taken the necessary precautions to prevent her reign
+over us. But she is very discreet, and wonderfully turned for ambition,
+being never apparently transported either with affection or malice.
+Thus, while Florimel is talking in public, and spreading her graces in
+assemblies, to gain a popular dominion over our diversions, Prudentia
+visits very cunningly all the lame, the splenetic, and the
+superannuated, who have their distinct classes of followers and friends.
+Among these, she has found that some body has sent down printed
+certificates of Florimel's age, which she has read and distributed to
+this unjoyful set of people, who are always enemies to those in
+possession of the good opinion of the company. This unprovoked injury
+done by Prudentia, was the first occasion of our fatal divisions here,
+and a declaration of war between these rivals. Florimel has abundance of
+wit, which she has lavished in decrying Prudentia, and giving defiance
+to her little arts. For an instance of her superior power, she bespoke
+the play of 'Alexander the Great,'[210] to be acted by the company of
+strollers, and desired us all to be there on Thursday last. When she
+spoke to me to come, 'As you are,' said she, 'a lover, you will not fail
+the death of Alexander: the passion of love is wonderfully hit--Statira!
+Oh that happy woman--to have a conqueror at her feet--but you will be
+sure to be there.' I, and several others, resolved to be of her party.
+But see the irresistible strength of that unsuspected creature, a silent
+woman. Prudentia had counterplotted us, and had bespoke on the same
+evening the puppet-show of 'The Creation of the World.'[211] She had
+engaged everybody to be there, and, to turn our leader into ridicule,
+had secretly let them know, that the puppet Eve was made the most like
+Florimel that ever was seen. On Thursday morning the puppet-drummer,
+Adam and Eve, and several others who lived before the Flood, passed
+through the streets on horseback, to invite us all to the pastime, and
+the representation of such things as we all knew to be true; and Mr.
+Mayor was so wise as to prefer these innocent people the puppets, who,
+he said, were to represent Christians, before the wicked players, who
+were to show Alexander, a heathen philosopher. To be short, this
+Prudentia had so laid it, that at ten of the clock footmen were sent to
+take places at the puppet-show, and all we of Florimel's party were to
+be out of fashion, or desert her. We chose the latter. All the world
+crowded to Prudentia's house, because it was given out, nobody could get
+in. When we came to Noah's flood in the show, Punch and his wife were
+introduced dancing in the Ark. An honest plain friend of Florimel's, but
+a critic withal, rose up in the midst of the representation, and made
+many very good exceptions to the drama itself, and told us, that it was
+against all morality, as well as rules of the stage, that Punch should
+be in jest in the Deluge, or indeed that he should appear at all. This
+was certainly a just remark, and I thought to second him; but he was
+hissed by Prudentia's party; upon which, really, Sir Thomas, we who were
+his friends, hissed him too. Old Mrs. Petulant desired both her
+daughters to mind the moral; then whispered Mrs. Mayoress, 'This is very
+proper for young people to see.' Punch at the end of the play made Madam
+Prudentia a compliment, and was very civil to the whole company, making
+bows till his buttons touched the ground. All was carried triumphantly
+against our party. In the meantime Florimel went to the tragedy, dressed
+as fine as hands could make her, in hopes to see Prudentia pine away
+with envy. Instead of that, she sat a full hour alone, and at last was
+entertained with this whole relation from Statira, who wiped her eyes
+with her tragical-cut handkerchief, and lamented the ignorance of the
+quality. Florimel was stung with this affront, and the next day bespoke
+the puppet-show. Prudentia, insolent with power, bespoke 'Alexander.'
+The whole company came then to 'Alexander.' Madam Petulant desired her
+daughters to mind the moral, and believe no man's fair words; 'For
+you'll see, children,' said she, 'these soldiers are never to be
+depended upon; they are sometimes here, sometimes there--don't you see,
+daughter Betty, Colonel Clod, our next neighbour in the country, pulls
+off his hat to you? Courtesy, good child, his estate is just by us.'
+Florimel was now mortified down to Prudentia's humour; and Prudentia
+exalted into hers. This was observed: Florimel invites us to the play a
+second time, Prudentia to the show. See the uncertainty of human
+affairs! The beaux, the wits, the gamesters, the prues,[212] the
+coquettes, the valetudinarians, and gallants, all now wait upon
+Florimel. Such is the state of things at this present date; and if there
+happens any new commotions, you shall have immediate advice from,
+
+"Sir,
+
+"Your affectionate Friend
+
+"and Servant.
+
+"Bath, _May 11_, 1709."
+
+#"_To Castabella._#
+
+"MADAM,
+
+I have the honour of a letter from a friend of yours, relating to an
+incivility done to you at the opera, by one of your own sex; but I, who
+was an eye-witness of the accident, can testify to you, that though she
+pressed before you, she lost her ends in that design; for she was taken
+notice of for no other reason, but her endeavours to hide a finer woman
+than herself. But indeed, I dare not go farther in this matter, than
+just this bare mention; for though it was taking your place of right,
+rather than place of precedence, yet it is so tender a point, and on
+which the very life of female ambition depends, that it is of the last
+consequence to meddle in it: all my hopes are from your beautiful sex;
+and those bright eyes, which are the bane of others, are my only
+sunshine. My writings are sacred to you; and I hope I shall always have
+the good fortune to live under your protection; therefore take this
+public opportunity to signify to all the world, that I design to forbear
+anything that may in the least tend to the diminution of your interest,
+reputation, or power. You will therefore forgive me, that I strive to
+conceal every wrong step made by any who have the honour to wear
+petticoats; and shall at all times do what is in my power, to make all
+mankind as much their slaves as myself. If they would consider things as
+they ought, there needs not much argument to convince them, that it is
+their fate to be obedient to you, and that your greatest rebels do only
+serve with a worse grace.
+
+"I am, Madam,
+
+"Your most obedient, and
+
+"most humble Servant,
+
+                                        "ISAAC BICKERSTAFF.
+
+"_May 16._"
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 16.
+
+Letters from the Hague, bearing date the 21st instant, N.S., advise,
+that his Grace the Duke of Marlborough, immediately after his arrival,
+sent his secretary to the President and the Pensionary, to acquaint them
+therewith. Soon after, these Ministers visited the duke, and made him
+compliments in the name of the States-General; after which they entered
+into a conference with him on the present posture of affairs, and gave
+his grace assurances of the firm adherence of the States to the
+alliance: at the same time acquainting him, that all overtures of peace
+were rejected, till they had an opportunity of acting in concert with
+their allies on that subject. After this interview, the Pensionary and
+the President returned to the assembly of the States. Monsieur Torcy has
+had a conference at the Pensioner's house with his Grace the Duke of
+Marlborough, Prince Eugene, and his Excellency the Lord Townshend. The
+result of what was debated at that time is kept secret; but there
+appears an air of satisfaction and good understanding between these
+Ministers. We are apt also to give ourselves very hopeful prospects from
+Monsieur Torcy's being employed in this negotiation, who has been always
+remarkable for a particular way of thinking, in his sense of the
+greatness of France; which he has always said, was to be promoted rather
+by the arts of peace, than those of war. His delivering himself freely
+on this subject, has formerly appeared an unsuccessful way to power in
+that Court; but in its present circumstances, those maxims are better
+received; and it is thought a certain argument of the sincerity of the
+French king's intentions, that this Minister is at present made use of.
+The marquis is to return to Paris within few days, who has sent a
+courier thither to give notice of the reasons of his return, that the
+Court may be the sooner able to despatch commissions for a formal
+treaty.
+
+The expectations of peace are increased by advices from Paris of the
+17th instant, which say, the Dauphin hath altered his resolution of
+commanding in Flanders the ensuing campaign. The Saxon and Prussian
+reinforcements, together with Count Merci's regiment of Imperial horse,
+are encamped in the neighbourhood of Brussels; and sufficient stores of
+corn and forage are transported to that place and Ghent for the service
+of the confederate army.
+
+They write from Mons, that the Elector of Bavaria had advice, that an
+advanced party of the Portuguese army had been defeated by the
+Spaniards.
+
+We hear from Languedoc, that their corn, olives and figs, were wholly
+destroyed; but that they have a hopeful prospect of a plentiful vintage.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 209: The nickname of a waiter at White's (see No. 1).]
+
+[Footnote 210: "The Rival Queens; or, Alexander the Great," by Nathaniel
+Lee, 1677.]
+
+[Footnote 211: The following advertisement is among the Harleian MSS.
+(Bayford's Coll. 5931): "At Crawley's show at the Golden Lion, near St.
+George's Church, during the time of Southwark Fair, will be presented
+the whole story of the old 'Creation of the World, or Paradise Lost,'
+yet newly revived with the addition of 'Noah's Flood'; &c. The best
+known puppet-show man was Martin Powell. (See No. 236.)]
+
+[Footnote 212: So in the folio and original collected editions. "Prue"
+was Steele's favourite name for his wife; here it means "prude," and no
+doubt Steele sometimes thought "dear Prue" was unnecessarily and
+unreasonably particular.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 17. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, May 17_, to _Thursday, May 19_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, May 18.
+
+The discourse has happened to turn this evening upon the true nature of
+panegyric, the perfection of which was asserted to consist in a certain
+artful way of conveying the applause in an indirect manner. There was a
+gentleman gave us several instances of it: among others, he quoted, from
+Sir Francis Bacon, in his "Advancement of Learning," a very great
+compliment made to Tiberius, as follows: In a full debate upon public
+affairs in the Senate, one of the assembly rose up, and with a very
+grave air said, he thought it for the honour and dignity of the
+commonwealth, that Tiberius should be declared a god, and have divine
+worship paid him. The Emperor was surprised at the proposal, and
+demanded of him to declare whether he had made any application to
+incline him to that overture? The senator answered, with a bold and
+haughty tone, "Sir, in matters that concern the commonwealth, I will be
+governed by no man."[213] Another gentleman mentioned something of the
+same kind spoken by the late Duke of B----m,[214] to the late Earl of
+O----y:[215] "My lord," says the duke, after his libertine way, "you
+will certainly be damned." "How, my lord!" says the earl with some
+warmth. "Nay," said the duke, "there's no help for it, for it is
+positively said, 'Cursed is he of whom all men speak well.'"[216] This
+is taking a man by surprise, and being welcome when you have so
+surprised him. The person flattered receives you into his closet at
+once; and the sudden change in his heart, from the expectation of an
+ill-wisher, to find you his friend, makes you in his full favour in a
+moment. The spirits that were raised so suddenly against you, are as
+suddenly for you. There was another instance given of this kind at the
+table: a gentleman who had a very great favour done him, and an
+employment bestowed upon him, without so much as being known to his
+benefactor, waited upon the great man who was so generous, and was
+beginning to say, he was infinitely obliged. "Not at all," says the
+patron, turning from him to another, "had I known a more deserving man
+in England, he should not have had it."
+
+We should certainly have had more examples, had not a gentleman
+produced a book which he thought an instance of this kind: it was a
+pamphlet, called, "The Naked Truth."[217] The idea any one would have
+of that work from the title, was, that there would be much plain
+dealing with people in power, and that we should see things in their
+proper light, stripped of the ornaments which are usually given to the
+actions of the great: but the skill of this author is such, that he
+has, under that rugged appearance, approved himself the finest
+gentleman and courtier that ever writ. The language is extremely
+sublime, and not at all to be understood by the vulgar: the sentiments
+are such as would make no figure in ordinary words; but such is the
+art of the expression, and the thoughts are elevated to so high a
+degree, that I question whether the discourse will sell much. There
+was an ill-natured fellow present, who hates all panegyric mortally.
+"P---- take him!" said he, "what the devil means his 'Naked Truth,'
+in speaking nothing but to the advantage of all whom he mentions?
+This is just such a great action as that of the champion's on a
+coronation day, who challenges all mankind to dispute with him the
+right of the sovereign, surrounded with his guards." The gentleman
+who produced the treatise, desired him to be cautious, and said, it
+was writ by an excellent soldier, which made the company observe it
+more narrowly: and, as critics are the greatest conjurers at finding
+out a known truth, one said, he was sure it was writ by the hand of
+his sword-arm. I could not perceive much wit in that expression: but
+it raised a laugh, and I suppose, was meant as a sneer upon valiant men.
+The same man pretended to see in the style, that it was a horse officer;
+but sure that's being too nice: for though you may know officers of the
+cavalry by the turn of their feet, I can't imagine how you should
+discern their hands from those of other men. But it is always thus with
+pedants, they will ever be carping; if a gentleman or a man of honour
+puts pen to paper, I don't doubt, but this author will find this
+assertion too true, and that obloquy is not repulsed by the force of
+arms. I will therefore set this excellent piece in a light too glaring
+for weak eyes, and, in imitation of the critic Longinus, shall, as well
+as I can, make my observations in a style like the author's, of whom I
+treat; which perhaps I am as capable of as another, having an unbounded
+force of thinking, as well as a most exquisite address, extensively and
+wisely indulged to me by the supreme powers. My author, I will dare to
+assert, shows the most universal knowledge of any writer who has
+appeared this century. He is a poet, and merchant, which is seen in two
+master-words, Credit Blossoms. He is a grammarian, and a politician; for
+he says, the uniting the two kingdoms is the emphasis of the security to
+the Protestant Succession. Some would be apt to say he is a conjurer;
+for he has found that a republic is not made up of every body of
+animals, but is composed of men only, and not of horses. Liberty and
+property have chosen their retreat within the emulating circle of a
+human commonwealth. He is a physician; for he says, "I observe a
+constant equality in its pulse, and a just quickness of its vigorous
+circulation." And again: "I view the strength of our Constitution
+plainly appear in the sanguine and ruddy complexion of a well-contented
+city." He is a divine; for he says, "I cannot but bless myself." And
+indeed, this excellent treatise has had that good effect upon me, who am
+far from being superstitious, that I, also, can't but bless myself.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 18.
+
+This day arrived a mail from Lisbon, with letters of the 13th instant,
+N.S., containing a particular account of the late action in Portugal. On
+the 7th instant, the army of Portugal, under the command of the Marquis
+de Frontera, lay on the side of the Caya, and the army of the Duke of
+Anjou, commanded by the Marquis de Bay, on the other. The latter
+commander having an ambition to ravage the country, in a manner in sight
+of the Portuguese, made a motion with the whole body of his horse toward
+Fort St. Christopher, near the town of Badajos. The generals of the
+Portuguese, disdaining that such an insult should be offered to their
+arms, took a resolution to pass the river, and oppose the designs of the
+enemy. The Earl of Galway represented to them, that the present posture
+of affairs was such on the side of the Allies, that there needed no more
+to be done at present in that country, but to carry on a defensive part.
+But his arguments could not avail in the council of war. Upon which, a
+great detachment of foot, and the whole of the horse of the King of
+Portugal's army, passed the river, and with some pieces of cannon did
+good execution on the enemy. Upon observing this, the Marquis de Bay
+advanced with his horse, and attacked the right wing of the Portuguese
+cavalry, who faced about, and fled, without standing the first
+encounter. But their foot repulsed the same body of horse in three
+successive charges, with great order and resolution. While this was
+transacting, the British general commanded the brigade of Pearce to
+keep the enemy in diversion by a new attack. This was so well executed,
+that the Portuguese infantry had time to retire in good order, and
+repass the river. But that brigade, which rescued them, was itself
+surrounded by the enemy, and Major-General Sarkey, Brigadier Pearce,
+together with both their regiments, and that of the Lord Galway, lately
+raised, were taken prisoners.
+
+During the engagement, the Earl of Barrymore having advanced too far to
+give some necessary order, was hemmed in by a squadron of the enemy; but
+found means to gallop up to the brigade of Pearce, with which he remains
+also a prisoner. My Lord Galway had his horse shot under him in this
+action; and the Conde de St. Juan, a Portuguese general, was taken
+prisoner. The same night the army encamped at Aronches, and on the 9th
+moved to Elvas, where they lay when these despatches came away. Colonel
+Stanwix's regiment is also taken. The whole of this affair has given the
+Portuguese a great idea of the capacity and courage of my Lord Galway,
+against whose advice they entered upon this unfortunate affair, and by
+whose conduct they were rescued from it. The prodigious constancy and
+resolution of that great man is hardly to be paralleled, who, under the
+oppression of a maimed body, and the reflection of repeated ill fortune,
+goes on with an unspeakable alacrity in the service of the common cause.
+He has already put things in a very good posture after this ill
+accident, and made the necessary dispositions for covering the country
+from any further attempt of the enemy, who lie still in the camp they
+were in before the battle.
+
+Letters from Brussels, dated the 25th instant, advise, that
+notwithstanding the negotiations of a peace seem so far advanced, that
+some do confidently report the preliminaries of a treaty to be actually
+agreed on; yet the Allies hasten their preparations for opening the
+campaign; and the forces of the Empire, the Prussians, the Danes, the
+Wirtembergers, the Palatines, and Saxon auxiliaries, are in motion
+towards the general rendezvous, they being already arrived in the
+neighbourhood of Brussels. These advices add, that the deputies of the
+States of Holland having made a general review of the troops in
+Flanders, set out for Antwerp on the 21st instant from that place. On
+the same day the Prince Royal of Prussia came thither _incognito_, with
+a design to make the ensuing campaign under his Grace the Duke of
+Marlborough.
+
+This day is published a treatise called, "The Difference between Scandal
+and Admonition." By Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq.; and on the 1st of July
+next, you may expect, "A Prophecy of Things Past; wherein the Art of
+Fortune-telling is laid open to the meanest capacity." And on the Monday
+following, "Choice Sentences for the Company of Masons and Bricklayers,
+to be put upon new Houses, with a translation of all the Latin sentences
+that have been built of late years, together with a comment upon stone
+walls," by the same hand.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 213: See Tacitus, "Annals," i. 8.]
+
+[Footnote 214: George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham.]
+
+[Footnote 215: Roger Boyle, Earl of Orrery.]
+
+[Footnote 216: Luke vi. 26.]
+
+[Footnote 217: Like Nichols, I have not been able to see a copy of this
+pamphlet, or the defence of it, mentioned in No. 21; but a letter from
+Peter Wentworth to Lord Raby, dated 20 May, 1709, throws some light on
+the matter: "Dear Brother, ... Brigadeer Crowder of late has made some
+talk in the Coffee Houses upon a peice he has lately been pleased to
+print, he did me the favour to show it me some time agoe in manuscript,
+and I complymented him with desiring a coppy of it, that I might have
+the pleasure of reading it more than once, and that I might communicate
+the like sattisfaction to you by sending it to Berlin. He told me it had
+the approbation of very ingenious men and good scholars, and his very
+good friends who had persuaded him to print it, and then you, as he
+always esteem'd to be such, shou'd be sure to have one. The day before
+yesterday he perform'd his promise but desir'd I wou'd not tell you
+directly who was the author, but recommend it to you with his most
+humble service, as from a friend of his. Yesterday came out this
+_Tatler_, and tho' I reckon myself a little base after all the fine
+complyments he made me upon my great judgment, I can't forbear sending
+it you as a fine peice of rallery upon his elaborate work, which I can
+assure you he has not been a little proud of. I han't seen him since to
+know if this _Tatler_ has given him any mortification. I know before he
+was prepar'd for the censorious, for he said lett people say what they
+wou'd, he was sure the intention was good, and his meaning for the
+service of the public. I am sorry he has printed, for he's very civill
+to me, and always profess a great respect for you, and I wou'd have none
+that does so exposed" ("Wentworth Papers," pp. 86-7). See No. 46. A
+writer in "Notes and Queries" (7 S. iii. 526), in reply to a question of
+mine, stated that there is a copy of "Naked Truth," 4to, 1709, in the
+Bamburgh Castle Library. The pamphlet is anonymous, but is ascribed in
+the catalogue to Colonel Crowder. In May 1710, Thomas Crowther was made
+a Major-General (Pointer's "Chron. History," ii. 679).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 18. [STEELE AND ADDISON.[218]
+
+From _Thursday, May 19_, to _Saturday, May 21_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 20.
+
+It is observed too often, that men of wit do so much employ their
+thoughts upon fine speculations, that things useful to mankind are
+wholly neglected; and they are busy in making emendations upon some
+enclitics in a Greek author, while obvious things, that every man may
+have use for, are wholly overlooked. It would be a happy thing, if such
+as have real capacities for public service, were employed in works of
+general use; but because a thing is everybody's business, it is nobody's
+business: this is for want of public spirit. As for my part, who am only
+a student, and a man of no great interest, I can only remark things, and
+recommend the correction of them to higher powers. There is an offence I
+have a thousand times lamented, but fear I shall never see remedied;
+which is, that in a nation where learning is so frequent as in Great
+Britain, there should be so many gross errors as there are in the very
+directions of things, wherein accuracy is necessary for the conduct of
+life. This is notoriously observed by all men of letters when they first
+come to town (at which time they are usually curious that way) in the
+inscriptions on sign-posts. I have cause to know this matter as well as
+anybody; for I have (when I went to Merchant Taylors' School) suffered
+stripes for spelling after the signs I observed in my way; though at the
+same time, I must confess, staring at those inscriptions first gave me
+an idea and curiosity for medals; in which I have since arrived at some
+knowledge.[219] Many a man has lost his way and his dinner by this
+general want of skill in orthography: for, considering that the painters
+are usually so very bad, that you cannot know the animal under whose
+sign you are to live that day, how must the stranger be misled, if it be
+wrong spelled, as well as ill painted? I have a cousin now in town, who
+has answered under Bachelor at Queen's College, whose name is Humphrey
+Mopstaff (he is akin to us by his mother). This young man going to see a
+relation in Barbican, wandered a whole day by the mistake of one letter;
+for it was written, "This is the BEER," instead of "This is the BEAR."
+He was set right at last, by inquiring for the house, of a fellow who
+could not read, and knew the place mechanically, only by having been
+often drunk there. But, in the name of goodness, let us make our
+learning of use to us, or not. Was not this a shame, that a philosopher
+should be thus directed by a cobbler? I'll be sworn, if it were known
+how many have suffered in this kind by false spelling since the union,
+this matter would not long lie thus. What makes these evils the more
+insupportable, is, that they are so easily amended, and nothing done in
+it. But it is so far from that, that the evil goes on in other arts as
+well as orthography. Places are confounded, as well for want of proper
+distinctions, as things for want of true characters. Had I not come by
+the other day very early in the morning, there might have been mischief
+done; for a worthy North Briton was swearing at Stocks Market,[220] that
+they would not let him in at his lodgings; but I knowing the gentleman,
+and observing him look often at the King on horseback, and then double
+his oaths, that he was sure he was right, found he mistook that for
+Charing Cross, by the erection of the like statue in each place. I
+grant, private men may distinguish their abodes as they please; as one
+of my acquaintance who lives at Marylebone, has put a good sentence of
+his own invention upon his dwelling-place, to find out where he lives:
+he is so near London, that his conceit is this, "The country in town;
+or, the town in the country"; for you know, if they are both in one,
+they are all one. Besides that, the ambiguity is not of great
+consequence; if you are safe at the place, it is no matter if you do not
+distinctly know where to say the place is. But to return to the
+orthography of public places: I propose that every tradesman in the
+cities of London and Westminster shall give me sixpence a quarter for
+keeping their signs in repair, as to the grammatical part; and I will
+take into my house a Swiss Count[221] of my acquaintance, who can
+remember all their names without book, for despatch sake, setting up the
+head of the said foreigner for my sign; the features being strong, and
+fit for hanging high.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 20.
+
+This day a mail arrived from Holland, by which there are advices from
+Paris, that the kingdom of France is in the utmost misery and
+distraction. The merchants of Lyons have been at Court, to remonstrate
+their great sufferings by the failure of their public credit; but have
+received no other satisfaction, than promises of a sudden peace; and
+that their debts will be made good by funds out of the revenue, which
+will not answer, but in case of the peace which is promised. In the
+meantime, the cries of the common people are loud for want of bread, the
+gentry have lost all spirit and zeal for their country, and the king
+himself seems to languish under the anxiety of the pressing calamities
+of the nation, and retires from hearing those grievances which he hath
+not power to redress. Instead of preparations for war, and the defence
+of their country, there is nothing to be seen but evident marks of a
+general despair. Processions, fastings, public mournings, and
+humiliations, are become the sole employments of a people, who were
+lately the most vain and gay of any in the universe.
+
+The Pope has written to the French king on the subject of a peace, and
+his Majesty has answered in the lowliest terms, that he entirely submits
+his affairs to divine providence, and shall soon show the world, that he
+prefers the tranquillity of his people to the glory of his arms, and
+extent of his conquests.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 24th say, that his Excellency the Lord
+Townshend delivered his credentials on that day to the States-General,
+as plenipotentiary from the Queen of Great Britain; as did also Count
+Zinzendorf, who bears the same character from the Emperor.
+
+Prince Eugene intended to set out the next day for Brussels, and his
+Grace the Duke of Marlborough on the Tuesday following. The Marquis de
+Torcy talks daily of going, but still continues here. The army of the
+Allies is to assemble on the 7th of the next month at Helchin; though it
+is generally believed, that the preliminaries to a treaty are fully
+adjusted.
+
+The approach of a peace[222] strikes a panic through our armies, though
+that of a battle could never do it, and they almost repent of their
+bravery, that made such haste to humble themselves and the French king.
+The Duke of Marlborough, though otherwise the greatest general of the
+age, has plainly shown himself unacquainted with the arts of husbanding
+a war. He might have grown as old as the Duke of Alva, or Prince
+Waldeck, in the Low Countries, and yet have got reputation enough every
+year for any reasonable man: for the command of general in Flanders hath
+been ever looked upon as a provision for life. For my part, I can't see
+how his grace can answer it to the world, for the great eagerness he
+hath shown to send a hundred thousand of the bravest fellows in Europe a
+begging. But the private gentlemen of the infantry will be able to shift
+for themselves; a brave man can never starve in a country stocked with
+hen-roosts. "There is not a yard of linen," says my honoured progenitor,
+Sir John Falstaff, "in my whole company; but as for that," says this
+worthy knight, "I am in no great pain, we shall find shirts on every
+hedge."[223] There is another sort of gentlemen whom I am much more
+concerned for, and that is, the ingenious fraternity of which I have the
+honour to be an unworthy member; I mean the news-writers of Great
+Britain, whether Postmen or Postboys,[224] or by what other name or
+title soever dignified or distinguished. The case of these gentlemen is,
+I think, more hard than that of the soldiers, considering that they
+have taken more towns, and fought more battles. They have been upon
+parties and skirmishes, when our armies have lain still; and given the
+general assault to many a place, when the besiegers were quiet in their
+trenches. They have made us masters of several strong towns many weeks
+before our generals could do it; and completed victories, when our
+greatest captains have been glad to come off with a drawn battle. Where
+Prince Eugene has slain his thousands, Boyer[225] has slain his ten
+thousands. This, gentleman can indeed be never enough commended for his
+courage and intrepidity during this whole war: he has laid about him
+with an inexpressible fury, and like the offended Marius of ancient
+Rome, made such havoc among his countrymen, as must be the work of two
+or three ages to repair. It must be confessed, the redoubted Mr.
+Buckley[226] has shed as much blood as the former; but I cannot forbear
+saying (and I hope it will not look like envy) that we regard our
+brother Buckley as a Drawcansir,[227] who spares neither friend nor foe,
+but generally kills as many of his own side as the enemy's. It is
+impossible for this ingenious sort of men to subsist after a peace:
+every one remembers the shifts they were driven to in the reign of King
+Charles II., when they could not furnish out a single paper of news,
+without lighting up a comet in Germany, or a fire in Moscow. There
+scarce appeared a letter without a paragraph on an earthquake. Prodigies
+were grown so familiar, that they had lost their name, as a great poet
+of that age has it. I remember Mr. Dyer,[228] who is justly looked upon
+by all the fox-hunters in the nation as the greatest statesman our
+country has produced, was particularly famous for dealing in whales;
+insomuch that in five months' time (for I had the curiosity to examine
+his letters on that occasion) he brought three into the mouth of the
+river Thames, besides two porpoises and a sturgeon. The judicious and
+wary Mr. I. Dawks[229] hath all along been the rival of this great
+writer, and got himself a reputation from plagues and famines, by which,
+in those days, he destroyed as great multitudes as he has lately done by
+the sword. In every dearth of news, Grand Cairo was sure to be
+unpeopled.
+
+It being therefore visible, that our society will be greater sufferers
+by the peace than the soldiery itself; insomuch that the _Daily
+Courant_[230] is in danger of being broken, my friend Dyer of being
+reformed, and the very best of the whole band of being reduced to
+half-pay; might I presume to offer anything in the behalf of my
+distressed brethren, I would humbly move, that an appendix of proper
+apartments furnished with pen, ink, and paper, and other necessaries of
+life should be added to the Hospital of Chelsea,[231] for the relief of
+such decayed news-writers as have served their country in the wars; and
+that for their exercise, they should compile the annals of their
+brother-veterans, who have been engaged in the same service, and are
+still obliged to do duty after the same manner.
+
+I cannot be thought to speak this out of an eye to any private interest;
+for, as my chief scenes of action are coffee-houses, play-houses, and my
+own apartment, I am in no need of camps, fortifications, and fields of
+battle, to support me; I don't call out for heroes and generals to my
+assistance. Though the officers are broken, and the armies disbanded, I
+shall still be safe as long as there are men or women, or politicians,
+or lovers, or poets, or nymphs, or swains, or cits, or courtiers in
+being.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 218: It is very possible that the first article in this number
+(see the allusion to medals) is by Addison, as well as the account of
+the Distress of the News-writers.]
+
+[Footnote 219: There is much about medals in Addison's "Remarks on
+several Parts of Italy," 1705. His "Dialogues on Medals" was published
+posthumously by Tickell.]
+
+[Footnote 220: Stocks Market was so named from a pair of stocks which
+were erected there as early as the 13th century. The two statues
+referred to were really very unlike. The one was of white marble; the
+other, of brass, was originally intended for John Sobieski, King of
+Poland, but being bought by Sir Robert Viner in 1672, it was altered and
+erected in honour of King Charles II. The Turk underneath the horse was
+metamorphosed into Oliver Cromwell; but his turban escaped unnoticed or
+unaltered, to testify the truth. The statue in Stocks Market, with the
+conduit and all its ornaments, was removed to make way for the Mansion
+House in 1739. Marvell refers to these statues in his "Satires."]
+
+[Footnote 221: Heidegger. See No. 12.]
+
+[Footnote 222: The remainder of this paper is by Addison. See Steele's
+Preface, and his Dedication of "The Drummer" to Congreve.]
+
+[Footnote 223: "There's but a shirt and a half in all my company; and
+the half-shirt is two napkins, tacked together, and thrown over the
+shoulders like a herald's coat without sleeves; and the shirt, to say
+the truth, stolen from my host of St. Alban, or the red-nosed innkeeper
+of Daintry. But that's all one, they'll find linen enough on every
+hedge." (1 Henry IV., act iii. sc. 2).]
+
+[Footnote 224: The Tory _Postboy_ was published by Abel Roper; and the
+Whig _Flying Post_ by George Ridpath:
+
+    "There Ridpath, Roper, cudgelled might ye view,
+    The very worsted still looked black and blue."
+
+("Dunciad," ii. 149.) It is remarkable that both Roper and Ridpath died
+on the same day, Feb. 5, 1726. Swift and others sometimes contributed to
+Roper's paper for party purposes.]
+
+[Footnote 225: Abel Boyer (1667-1729), author of "The Political State of
+Great Britain," was a Whig journalist towards whom Swift felt bitterly.
+"The Secretary promises me to swinge him," he wrote in 1711; "I must
+make that rogue an example for a warning to others." Boyer compiled a
+valuable French and English dictionary.]
+
+[Footnote 226: Samuel Buckley was printer of the _London Gazette, Daily
+Courant_, and _Spectator_. He died in 1741.]
+
+[Footnote 227: Drawcansir, in "The Rehearsal," is described by another
+character as "a great hero, who frights his mistress, snubs up kings,
+baffles armies, and does what he will, without regard to number, good
+sense, or justice."]
+
+[Footnote 228: John Dyer was a Jacobite journalist who issued a
+news-letter to country subscribers, among whom was Sir Roger de Coverley
+(_Spectator_, No. 127), by whom he was held in high esteem. Defoe
+(_Review_, vi. 132) says that Dyer "did not so much write what his
+readers should believe, as what they would believe." Vellum, in
+Addison's "The Drummer" (act ii. sc. i), cannot but believe his master
+is living, "because the news of his death was first published in Dyer's
+Letter." See also _Spectator_, Nos. 43 and 457. At the trial of John
+Tutchin for seditious libel (Howell's "State Trials," xiv. 1150), on
+complaint being made by counsel that Dyer had charged him with broaching
+seditious principles, Lord Chief Justice Holt said, "Dyer is very
+familiar with me too sometimes; but you need not fear such a little
+scandalous paper of such a scandalous author."]
+
+[Footnote 229: Ichabod Dawks was another "epistolary historian" (see
+_Spectator_, No. 457, and _Tatler_, No. 178). Dawks and Dyer are both
+introduced by Edmund Smith, author of "Phædra and Hippolitus," in his
+poem, "Charlettus Percivallo suo":
+
+    "Scribe securus, quid agit Senatus,
+    Quid caput stertit grave Lambethanum,
+    Quid comes Guilford, quid habent novorum.
+                                            "Dawksque Dyerque."
+]
+
+[Footnote 230: The _Daily Courant_, our first daily newspaper, was begun
+in 1702.]
+
+[Footnote 231: Chelsea Hospital, for old soldiers, was founded in 1682.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 19. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, May 21_, to _Tuesday, May 24_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 23.
+
+There is nothing can give a man of any consideration greater pain, than
+to see order and distinction laid aside amongst men, especially when the
+rank (of which he himself is a member) is intruded upon by such as have
+no pretence to that honour. The appellation of Esquire is the most
+notoriously abused in this kind of any class amongst men, insomuch that
+it is become almost the subject of derision: but I will be bold to say,
+this behaviour towards it proceeds from the ignorance of the people in
+its true origin. I shall therefore, as briefly as possible, do myself
+and all true esquires the justice to look into antiquity upon this
+subject.
+
+In the first ages of the world, before the invention of jointures and
+settlements, when the noble passion of love had possession of the hearts
+of men, and the fair sex were not yet cultivated into the merciful
+disposition which they have showed in latter centuries, it was natural
+for great and heroic spirits to retire to rivulets, woods, and caves, to
+lament their destiny, and the cruelty of the fair persons who were deaf
+to their lamentations. The hero in this distress was generally in
+armour, and in a readiness to fight any man he met with, especially if
+distinguished by any extraordinary qualifications, it being the nature
+of heroic love to hate all merit, lest it should come within the
+observation of the cruel one, by whom its own perfections are neglected.
+A lover of this kind had always about him a person of a second value,
+and subordinate to him, who could hear his afflictions, carry an
+enchantment for his wounds, hold his helmet when he was eating (if ever
+he did eat); or in his absence, when he was retired to his apartment in
+any king's palace, tell the prince himself, or perhaps his daughter, the
+birth, parentage, and adventures, of his valiant master. This trusty
+companion was styled his esquire, and was always fit for any offices
+about him; was as gentle and chaste as a gentleman usher, quick and
+active as an equerry, smooth and eloquent as a master of the ceremonies.
+A man thus qualified was the first, as the ancients affirm, who was
+called an esquire; and none without these accomplishments ought to
+assume our order: but, to the utter disgrace and confusion of the
+heralds, every pretender is admitted into this fraternity, even persons
+the most foreign to this courteous institution. I have taken an
+inventory of all within this city, and looked over every letter in the
+post-office for my better information. There are of the Middle Temple,
+including all in the buttery books, and in the lists of the house, 5000.
+In the Inner, 4000. In the King's Bench Walks, the whole buildings are
+inhabited by esquires only. The adjacent street of Essex, from Morris'
+Coffee-house, and the turning towards the Grecian, you cannot meet one
+who is not an esquire, till you take water. Every house in Norfolk and
+Arundel Streets is governed also by a squire, or his lady. Soho Square,
+Bloomsbury Square, and all other places where the floors rise above nine
+feet, are so many universities, where you enter yourselves, and become
+of our order. However, if this were the worst of the evil, it were to be
+supported, because they are generally men of some figure and use; though
+I know no pretence they have to an honour which had its rise from
+chivalry. But if you travel into the counties of Great Britain, we are
+still more imposed upon by innovation. We are indeed derived from the
+field: but shall that give title to all that ride mad after foxes, that
+halloo when they see a hare, or venture their necks full speed after a
+hawk, immediately to commence esquires? No, our order is temperate,
+cleanly, sober, and chaste; but these rural esquires commit immodesties
+upon haycocks, wear shirts half a week, and are drunk twice a day. These
+men are also to the last degree excessive in their food: an esquire of
+Norfolk eats two pounds of dumpling every meal, as if obliged to it by
+our order: an esquire of Hampshire is as ravenous in devouring hogs'
+flesh: one of Essex has as little mercy on calves. But I must take the
+liberty to protest against them, and acquaint those persons, that it is
+not the quantity they eat, but the manner of eating, that shows a
+squire. But above all, I am most offended at small quillmen, and
+transcribing clerks, who are all come into our order, for no reason that
+I know of, but that they can easily flourish it at the end of their
+name. I'll undertake, that if you read the superscriptions to all the
+offices in the kingdom, you will not find three letters directed to any
+but esquires. I have myself a couple of clerks, and the rogues make
+nothing of leaving messages upon each other's desk: one directs, to
+"Degory Goosequill, Esq."; to which the other replies by a note, to
+"Nehemiah Dashwell, Esq.; with respect." In a word, it is now, _populus
+armigerorum_, a people of esquires. And I don't know, but, by the late
+Act of Naturalisation,[232] foreigners will assume that title, as part
+of the immunity of being Englishmen. All these improprieties flow from
+the negligence of the Heralds' Office. Those gentlemen in parti-coloured
+habits do not so rightly, as they ought, understand themselves; though
+they are dressed _cap-a-pié_ in hieroglyphics, they are inwardly but
+ignorant men. I asked an acquaintance of mine, who is a man of wit, but
+of no fortune, and is forced to appear as Jack Pudding on the stage to a
+mountebank: "Prithee, Jack, why is your coat of so many colours?" He
+replied, "I act a fool, and this spotted dress is to signify, that every
+man living has a weak place about him; for I am knight of the shire, and
+represent you all." I wish the heralds would know as well as this man
+does, in his way, that they are to act for us in the case of our arms
+and appellations: we should not then be jumbled together in so
+promiscuous and absurd a manner. I design to take this matter into
+further consideration, and no man shall be received as an esquire, who
+cannot bring a certificate, that he has conquered some lady's obdurate
+heart; that he can lead up a country dance, or carry a message between
+her and her lover, with address, secrecy and diligence. A squire is
+properly born for the service of the sex, and his credentials shall be
+signed by three toasts, and one prude, before his title shall be
+received in my office.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, May 23.
+
+On Saturday last was presented, "The Busy Body," a comedy, written (as I
+have heretofore remarked) by a woman.[233] The plot and incidents of the
+play are laid with that subtlety of spirit which is peculiar to females
+of wit, and is very seldom well performed by those of the other sex, in
+whom craft in love is an act of invention, and not, as with women, the
+effect of nature and instinct.
+
+To-morrow will be acted a play, called, "The Trip to the Jubilee."[234]
+This performance is the greatest instance that we can have of the
+irresistible force of proper action. The dialogue in itself has
+something too low to bear a criticism upon it: but Mr. Wilks enters into
+the part with so much skill, that the gallantry, the youth, and gaiety
+of a young man of a plentiful fortune, is looked upon with as much
+indulgence on the stage, as in real life, without any of those
+intermixtures of wit and humour, which usually prepossess us in favour
+of such characters in other plays.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 23.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 23rd instant, N.S., say, Mr. Walpole[235]
+(who is since arrived) was going with all expedition to Great Britain,
+whither they doubted not but he carried with him the preliminaries to a
+treaty of peace. The French Minister, Monsieur Torcy, has been observed
+in this whole negotiation to turn his discourse upon the calamities sent
+down by Heaven upon France, and imputed the necessities they were under
+to the immediate hand of Providence, in inflicting a general scarcity of
+provision, rather than the superior genius of the generals, or the
+bravery of the armies against them. It would be impious not to
+acknowledge the indulgence of Heaven to us; but at the same time, as we
+are to love our enemies, we are glad to see them mortified enough to mix
+Christianity with their politics. An authentic letter from Madame
+Maintenon to Monsieur Torcy has been stolen by a person about him, who
+has communicated a copy of it to some of the dependants of a Minister of
+the Allies. That epistle is writ in the most pathetic manner imaginable,
+and in a style which shows her genius, that has so long engrossed the
+heart of this great monarch.[236]
+
+"SIR,
+
+"I received yours, and am sensible of the address and capacity with
+which you have hitherto transacted the great affair under your
+management. You well observe, that our wants here are not to be
+concealed; and that it is vanity to use artifices with the knowing men
+with whom you are to deal. Let me beg you therefore, in this
+representation of our circumstances, to lay aside art, which ceases to
+be such when it is seen, and make use of all your skill, to gain us what
+advantages you can from the enemy's jealousy of each other's greatness;
+which is the place where only you have room for any dexterity. If you
+have any passion for your unhappy country, or any affection for your
+distressed master, come home with peace. O Heaven! Do I live to talk of
+Lewis the Great as the object of pity? The king shows a great uneasiness
+to be informed of all that passes; but at the same time, is fearful of
+every one who appears in his presence, lest he should bring an account
+of some new calamity. I know not in what terms to represent my thoughts
+to you, when I speak of the king, with relation to his bodily health.
+Figure to yourself that immortal man, who stood in our public places,
+represented with trophies, armour, and terrors, on his pedestal:
+consider, the Invincible, the Great, the Good, the Pious, the Mighty,
+which were the usual epithets we gave him, both in our language and
+thoughts. I say, consider him whom you knew the most glorious and great
+of monarchs; and now think you see the same man an unhappy Lazar, in the
+lowest circumstances of human nature itself, without regard to the state
+from whence he is fallen. I write from his bedside: he is at present in
+a slumber. I have many, many things to add; but my tears flow too fast,
+and my sorrow is too big for utterance.
+
+"I am, etc."
+
+There is such a veneration due from all men to the persons of princes,
+that it were a sort of dishonesty to represent further the condition
+which the king is in; but it is certain, that soon after the receipt of
+these advices, Monsieur Torcy waited upon his Grace the Duke of
+Marlborough and the Lord Townshend, and in that conference gave up many
+points, which he had before said were such, as he must return to France
+before he could answer.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 232: See No. 13.]
+
+[Footnote 233: Mrs. Centlivre. See No. 15.]
+
+[Footnote 234: Wilks took the part of Sir Harry Wildair in Farquhar's
+"The Constant Couple; or, A Trip to the Jubilee," 1699.]
+
+[Footnote 235: Horatio Walpole, Secretary to the Embassy at the Hague,
+and brother of Sir Robert Walpole.]
+
+[Footnote 236: This letter is a pure invention.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 20. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, May 24_, to _Thursday, May 26_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, May 24.
+
+It is not to be imagined how far prepossession will run away with
+people's understandings, in cases wherein they are under present
+uneasiness. The following narration is a sufficient testimony of the
+truth of this observation.
+
+I had the honour the other day of a visit from a gentlewoman (a stranger
+to me) who seemed to be about thirty. Her complexion is brown; but the
+air of her face has an agreeableness, which surpasses the beauties of
+the fairest women. There appeared in her look and mien a sprightly
+health; and her eyes had too much vivacity to become the language of
+complaint, which she began to enter into. She seemed sensible of it; and
+therefore, with downcast looks, said she, "Mr. Bickerstaff, you see
+before you the unhappiest of women; and therefore, as you are esteemed
+by all the world both a great civilian, as well as an astrologer, I must
+desire your advice and assistance, in putting me in a method of
+obtaining a divorce from a marriage, which I know the law will pronounce
+void." "Madam," said I, "your grievance is of such a nature, that you
+must be very ingenuous in representing the causes of your complaint, or
+I cannot give you the satisfaction you desire." "Sir," she answers, "I
+believed there would be no need of half your skill in the art of
+divination, to guess why a woman would part from her husband." "It is
+true," said I; "but suspicions, or guesses at what you mean, nay
+certainty of it, except you plainly speak it, are no foundation for a
+formal suit." She clapped her fan before her face; "My husband," said
+she, "is no more a husband" (here she burst into tears) "than one of the
+Italian singers."
+
+"Madam," said I, "the affliction you complain of, is to be redressed by
+law; but at the same time, consider what mortifications you are to go
+through in bringing it into open court; how you will be able to bear the
+impertinent whispers of the people present at the trial, the licentious
+reflections of the pleaders, and the interpretations that will in
+general be put upon your conduct by all the world: 'How little,' will
+they say, 'could that lady command her passions.' Besides, consider,
+that curbing our desires is the greatest glory we can arrive at in this
+world, and will be most rewarded in the next." She answered, like a
+prudent matron, "Sir, if you please to remember the office of matrimony,
+the first cause of its institution is that of having posterity:
+therefore, as to the curbing desires, I am willing to undergo any
+abstinence from food as you please to enjoin me; but I cannot, with any
+quiet of mind, live in the neglect of a necessary duty, and an express
+commandment, Increase and multiply." Observing she was learned, and
+knew so well the duties of life, I turned my arguments rather to dehort
+her from this public procedure by examples, than precepts. "Do but
+consider, madam, what crowds of beauteous women live in nunneries,
+secluded for ever from the sight and conversation of men, with all the
+alacrity of spirit imaginable; they spend their time in heavenly
+raptures, in constant and frequent devotions, and at proper hours in
+agreeable conversations." "Sir," said she hastily, "tell not me of
+Papists, or any of their idolatries." "Well then, madam, consider how
+many fine ladies live innocently in the eye of the world, and this gay
+town, in the midst of temptation: there's the witty Mrs. W---- is a
+virgin of 44, Mrs. T----s is 39, Mrs. L----ce, 33; yet you see, they
+laugh and are gay, at the park, at the playhouse, at balls, and at
+visits; and so much at ease, that all this seems hardly a self-denial."
+"Mr. Bickerstaff," said she, with some emotion, "you are an excellent
+casuist; but the last word destroyed your whole argument; if it is not
+self-denial, it is no virtue. I presented you with a half-guinea, in
+hopes not only to have my conscience eased, but my fortune told. Yet--"
+"Well, madam," said I, "pray of what age is your husband?" "He is,"
+replied my injured client, "fifty, and I have been his wife fifteen
+years." "How happened it, you never communicated your distress in all
+this time to your friends and relations?" She answered, "He has been
+thus but a fortnight." I am the most serious man in the world to look
+at, and yet could not forbear laughing out. "Why, madam, in case of
+infirmity, which proceeds only from age, the law gives no remedy."
+"Sir," said she, "I find you have no more learning than Dr. Case;[237]
+and I am told of a young man, not five and twenty, just come from
+Oxford, to whom I will communicate this whole matter, and doubt not but
+he will appear to have seven times more useful and satisfactory
+knowledge than you and all your boasted family." Thus I have entirely
+lost my client: but if this tedious narrative preserves Pastorella from
+the intended marriage with one twenty years her senior--To save a fine
+lady, I am contented to have my learning decried, and my predictions
+bound up with Poor Robin's Almanacks.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, May 25.
+
+This evening was acted, "The Recruiting Officer,"[238] in which Mr.
+Estcourt's[239] proper sense and observation is what supports the play.
+There is not, in my humble opinion, the humour hit in Sergeant Kite; but
+it is admirably supplied by his action. If I have skill to judge, that
+man is an excellent actor; but the crowd of the audience are fitter for
+representations at Mayfair, than a theatre royal. Yet that fair is now
+broke,[240] as well as the theatre is breaking: but it is allowed still
+to sell animals there. Therefore, if any lady or gentleman have occasion
+for a tame elephant, let them inquire of Mr. Pinkethman, who has one to
+dispose of at a reasonable rate.[241] The downfall of Mayfair has quite
+sunk the price of this noble creature, as well as of many other
+curiosities of nature. A tiger will sell almost as cheap as an ox; and I
+am credibly informed, a man may purchase a cat with three legs, for very
+near the value of one with four. I hear likewise, that there is a great
+desolation among the gentlemen and ladies who were the ornaments of the
+town, and used to shine in plumes and diadems; the heroes being most of
+them pressed, and the queens beating hemp. Mrs. Sarabrand, so famous for
+her ingenious puppet-show, has set up a shop in the Exchange,[242] where
+she sells her little troop under the term of jointed babies.[243] I
+could not but be solicitous to know of her, how she had disposed of that
+rake-hell Punch, whose lewd life and conversation had given so much
+scandal, and did not a little contribute to the ruin of the fair. She
+told me, with a sigh, that despairing of ever reclaiming him, she would
+not offer to place him in a civil family, but got him in a post upon a
+stall in Wapping, where he may be seen from sun-rising to sun-setting,
+with a glass in one hand, and a pipe in the other, as sentry to a
+brandy-shop. The great revolutions of this nature bring to my mind the
+distresses of the unfortunate Camilla[244], who has had the ill-luck to
+break before her voice, and to disappear at a time when her beauty was
+in the height of its bloom. This lady entered so thoroughly into the
+great characters she acted, that when she had finished her part, she
+could not think of retrenching her equipage, but would appear in her own
+lodgings with the same magnificence that she did upon the stage. This
+greatness of soul has reduced that unhappy princess to an involuntary
+retirement, where she now passes her time among the woods and forests,
+thinking on the crowns and sceptres she has lost, and often humming over
+in her solitude,
+
+    _"I was born of royal race,
+    Yet must wander in disgrace," &c._
+
+But for fear of being overheard, and her quality known, she usually
+sings it in Italian:
+
+    _"Naqui al regno, naqui al trono
+    E pur sono
+    Inventurata Pastorella--"_
+
+Since I have touched upon this subject, I shall communicate to my reader
+part of a letter I have received from an ingenious friend at Amsterdam,
+where there is a very noble theatre; though the manner of furnishing it
+with actors is something peculiar to that place, and gives us occasion
+to admire both the politeness and frugality of the people.
+
+My friends have kept me here a week longer than ordinary to see one of
+their plays, which was performed last night with great applause. The
+actors are all of them tradesmen, who, after their day's work is over,
+earn about a guilder a night by personating kings and generals. The hero
+of the tragedy I saw, was a journeyman tailor, and his first minister of
+state a coffee-man. The empress made me think of Parthenope[245] in "The
+Rehearsal"; for her mother keeps an ale-house in the suburbs of
+Amsterdam. When the tragedy was over, they entertained us with a short
+farce, in which the cobbler did his part to a miracle; but upon inquiry,
+I found he had really been working at his own trade, and representing on
+the stage what he acted every day in his shop. The profits of the
+theatre maintain a hospital: for as here they do not think the
+profession of an actor the only trade that a man ought to exercise, so
+they will not allow anybody to grow rich on a profession that in their
+opinion so little conduces to the good of the commonwealth. If I am not
+mistaken, your playhouses in England have done the same thing; for,
+unless I am misinformed, the hospital at Dulwich was erected and endowed
+by Mr. Alleyn,[246] a player: and it is also said, a famous
+she-tragedian[247] has settled her estate, after her death, for the
+maintenance of decayed wits, who are to be taken in as soon as they grow
+dull, at whatever time of their life that shall happen.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 25.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 31st instant, N.S., say, that the articles
+preliminary to a general peace were settled, communicated to the
+States-General and all the foreign Ministers residing there, and
+transmitted to their respective masters on the 28th. Monsieur Torcy
+immediately returned to the Court of France, from whence he is expected
+again on the 4th of the next month, with those articles ratified by that
+Court. The Hague is agreed upon for the place of treaty, and the 15th of
+the next month the day on which it is to commence. The terms on which
+this negotiation is founded, are not yet declared by public authority;
+but what is most generally received, is as follows:
+
+Her Majesty's right and title, and the Protestant succession to those
+dominions, is forthwith to be acknowledged. King Charles is also to be
+owned the lawful sovereign of Spain; and the French king shall not only
+recall his troops out of that kingdom, and deliver up to the Allies the
+towns of Roses, Fontarabia, and Pampeluna; but in case the Duke of Anjou
+shall not retire out of the Spanish dominions, he shall be obliged to
+assist the Allies to force him from thence. A cessation of arms is
+agreed upon for two months from the first day of the treaty. The port
+and fortifications of Dunkirk are to be demolished within four months;
+but the town itself left in the hands of the French. The Pretender is to
+be obliged to leave France. All Newfoundland is to be restored to the
+English. As to the other parts of America, the French are to restore
+whatever they may have taken from the English, as the English in like
+manner to give up what they may have taken from the French before the
+commencement of the treaty. The trade between Great Britain and France
+shall be settled upon the same foundation as in the reign of King
+Charles II.
+
+The Dutch are to have for their barriers, Nieuport, Berg, St. Vinox,
+Furnes, Ipres, Lille, Tournay, Douay, Valenciennes, Condé, Maubeuge,
+Mons, Charleroy, Namur, and Luxemburg; all which places shall be
+delivered up to the Allies before the end of June. The trade between
+Holland and France shall be on the same foot as in 1664. The cities of
+Strasburg, Brisac, and Alsatia, shall be restored to the Emperor and
+Empire; and the King of France, pursuant to the Treaty of Westphalia in
+1648, shall only retain the protection of ten imperial cities, viz.,
+Colmar, Schlestat, Haguenau, Munster, Turkeim, Keisemberg, Obrenheim,
+Rosheim, Weisemburg, and Landau. Huninguen, Fort Louis, Fort Kiel, and
+New Brisac shall be demolished, and all the fortifications from Basle to
+Philipsburg. The King of Prussia shall remain in the peaceable
+possession of Neufchatel. The affair of Orange, as also the pretensions
+of his Prussian Majesty in the French Comté, shall be determined at this
+general negotiation of peace. The Duke of Savoy shall have a restitution
+made of all that has been taken from him by the French, and remain
+master of Exilles, Chamont, Fenestrelles, and the Valley of
+Pragelas.[248]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 237: John Case, astrologer and friend of John Partridge,
+succeeded to Saffold's habitation in Blackfriars gateway, opposite to
+Ludgate Church, whence he issued many advertisements. "Their old
+physician begged they would not forget him--he gives his advice for
+nothing--his cures are private. At Lilly's Head, &c., is the only place
+to obtain health, long life, and happiness, by your old friend Dr. Case,
+who extirpates the foundation of all diseases":
+
+    "At the Golden Ball and Lillie's Head
+    John Case lives though Saffold's dead."
+
+His handbills were commonly adorned with a variety of emblematic devices
+and poetry. See note on Kirleus, in No. 14; and Nos. 216, 240. Case's
+most important book was his "Compendium Anatomicum nova methodo
+institutum," 1695.]
+
+[Footnote 238: By Farquhar; first acted in 1706.]
+
+[Footnote 239: Richard Estcourt (1668-1712), whom Farquhar specially
+selected to act the part of Sergeant Kite, is celebrated by Steele in a
+well-known paper in the _Spectator_ (No. 468; see also No. 390).
+Estcourt was providore of the Beefsteak Club, and wrote two or three
+dramatic pieces. See No. 51.]
+
+[Footnote 240: See No. 4. This article was printed by Tickell among
+Addison's works.]
+
+[Footnote 241: In 1704, Pinkethman advertised that at his booth he would
+speak an epilogue upon an elephant between nine and ten feet high,
+arrived from Guinea, led upon the stage by six blacks.]
+
+[Footnote 242: This may be either the Royal Exchange or the New
+Exchange, in the Strand. There were shops for the sale of trinkets and
+toys at both places.]
+
+[Footnote 243: "Baby" was a term often applied to dolls.]
+
+[Footnote 244: Mrs. Katherine Tofts sang in English to Nicolini's
+Italian, in Buononcini's opera of "Camilla," but this absurdity was
+forgiven on account of the charm of their voices. In 1709, in the height
+of her beauty, Mrs. Tofts left the stage, owing to her intellect
+becoming disordered; but afterwards she married Mr. Joseph Smith, a
+gentleman who lived in great state; but his wife's mind again gave way,
+and she spent hours walking and singing in a garden attached to a remote
+part of the house. She died in 1760. See _Spectator,_ Nos. 18, 22 and
+443, where there is a letter purporting to be from Mrs. Tofts, at
+Venice.]
+
+[Footnote 245: In act iii. sc. 2 of "The Rehearsal," Prince Volscius
+falls in love at first sight with Parthenope, who says:
+
+    "My mother, sir, sells ale by the town-walls,
+    And me her dear Parthenope she calls;"
+
+whereupon Volscius (repeating words from Davenant's "Siege of Rhodes")
+replies:
+
+    "Can vulgar vestments high-born beauty shroud?
+    Thou bring'st the morning pictured in a cloud."
+]
+
+[Footnote 246: Edward Alleyn, the actor, who died in 1626, aged 61,
+founded Dulwich Hospital.]
+
+[Footnote 247: Mrs. Bracegirdle; see No. 1.]
+
+[Footnote 248: "It is said that Monsieur Torcy, when he signed this
+instrument broke into this exclamation: 'Would Colbert have signed such
+a treaty for France?' On which a Minister present was pleased to say,
+'Colbert himself would have been proud to have saved France in these
+circumstances on such terms'" (folio).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 21. [STEELE.
+
+From _Thursday, May 26_, to _Saturday, May 28_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, May 26.
+
+A gentleman has writ to me out of the country a very civil letter, and
+said things which I suppress with great violence to my vanity. There are
+many terms in my narratives which he complains want explaining, and has
+therefore desired, that, for the benefit of my country readers, I would
+let him know what I mean by a Gentleman, a Pretty Fellow, a Toast, a
+Coquette, a Critic, a Wit, and all other appellations in the gayer
+world, who are in present possession of these several characters;
+together with an account of those who unfortunately pretend to them. I
+shall begin with him we usually call a Gentleman, or man of
+conversation. It is generally thought, that warmth of imagination, quick
+relish of pleasure, and a manner of becoming it, are the most essential
+qualities for forming this sort of man. But any one that is much in
+company will observe, that the height of good breeding is shown rather
+in never giving offence, than in doing obliging things. Thus, he that
+never shocks you, though he is seldom entertaining, is more likely to
+keep your favour, than he who often entertains, and sometimes displeases
+you. The most necessary talent therefore in a man of conversation, which
+is what we ordinarily intend by a fine gentleman, is a good judgment. He
+that has this in perfection, is master of his companion, without letting
+him see it; and has the same advantage over men of any other
+qualifications whatsoever, as one that can see would have over a blind
+man of ten times his strength. This is what makes Sophronius the
+darling of all who converse with him, and the most powerful with his
+acquaintance of any man in town. By the light of this faculty, he acts
+with great ease and freedom among the men of pleasure, and acquits
+himself with skill and despatch among the men of business. This he
+performs with so much success, that, with as much discretion in life as
+any man ever had, he neither is, nor appears, cunning. But as he does a
+good office, if he ever does it, with readiness and alacrity; so he
+denies what he does not care to engage in, in a manner that convinces
+you, that you ought not to have asked it. His judgment is so good and
+unerring, and accompanied with so cheerful a spirit, that his
+conversation is a continual feast, at which he helps some, and is helped
+by others, in such a manner, that the equality of society is perfectly
+kept up, and every man obliges as much as he is obliged: for it is the
+greatest and justest skill in a man of superior understanding, to know
+how to be on a level with his companions. This sweet disposition runs
+through all the actions of Sophronius, and makes his company desired by
+women, without being envied by men. Sophronius would be as just as he
+is, if there were no law; and would be as discreet as he is, if there
+were no such thing as calumny.
+
+In imitation of this agreeable being, is made that animal we call a
+Pretty Fellow; who being just able to find out, that what makes
+Sophronius acceptable, is a natural behaviour; in order to the same
+reputation, makes his own an artificial one. Jack Dimple is his perfect
+mimic, whereby he is of course the most unlike him of all men living.
+Sophronius just now passed into the inner room directly forward: Jack
+comes as fast after as he can for the right and left looking-glass, in
+which he had but just approved himself by a nod at each, and marched on.
+He will meditate within for half an hour, till he thinks he is not
+careless enough in his air, and come back to the mirror to recollect his
+forgetfulness.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, May 27.
+
+This night was acted the comedy, called, "The Fox";[249] but I wonder
+the modern writers do not use their interest in the house to suppress
+such representations. A man that has been at this, will hardly like any
+other play during the season: therefore I humbly move, that the
+writings, as well as dresses, of the last age, should give way to the
+present fashion. We are come into a good method enough (if we were not
+interrupted in our mirth by such an apparition as a play of Jonson's) to
+be entertained at more ease, both to the spectator and the writer, than
+in the days of old. It is no difficulty to get hats, and swords, and
+wigs, and shoes, and everything else, from the shops in town, and make a
+man show himself by his habit, without more ado, to be a counsellor, a
+fop, a courtier, or a citizen, and not be obliged to make those
+characters talk in different dialects to be distinguished from each
+other. This is certainly the surest and best way of writing: but such a
+play as this makes a man for a month after overrun with criticism, and
+inquire, what every man on the stage said? What had such a one to do to
+meddle with such a thing? How came the other, who was bred after such a
+manner, to speak so like a man conversant among a different people?
+These questions rob us of all our pleasure; for at this rate, no one
+sentence in a play should be spoken by any one character, which could
+possibly enter into the head of any other man represented in it; but
+every sentiment should be peculiar to him only who utters it. Laborious
+Ben's works will bear this sort of inquisition; but if the present
+writers were thus examined, and the offences against this rule cut out,
+few plays would be long enough for the whole evening's entertainment.
+But I don't know how they did in those old times: this same Ben Jonson
+has made every one's passion in this play be towards money, and yet not
+one of them expresses that desire, or endeavours to obtain it any way
+but what is peculiar to him only: one sacrifices his wife, another his
+profession, another his posterity from the same motive; but their
+characters are kept so skilfully apart, that it seems prodigious their
+discourses should rise from the invention of the same author. But the
+poets are a nest of hornets, and I'll drive these thoughts no farther,
+but must mention some hard treatment I am like to meet with from my
+brother-writers. I am credibly informed, that the author of a play,
+called, "Love in a Hollow Tree,"[250] has made some remarks upon my late
+discourse on "The Naked Truth."[251] I cannot blame a gentleman for
+writing against any error; it is for the good of the learned world. But
+I would have the thing fairly left between us two, and not under the
+protection of patrons. But my intelligence is, that he has dedicated his
+treatise to the Honourable Mr. Ed----d H----rd.[252]
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 27.
+
+"_To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq._
+
+"York, May 16, 1709.
+
+"SIR,
+
+"Being convinced as the whole world is, how infallible your predictions
+are, and having the honour to be your near relation, of the Staffian
+family, I was under great concern at one of your predictions relating to
+yourself, wherein you foretold your own death would happen on the 17th
+instant, unless it were prevented by the assistance of well-disposed
+people:[253] I have therefore prevailed on my own modesty to send you a
+piece of news, which may serve instead of Goddard's Drops,[254] to keep
+you alive for two days, till nature be able to recover itself, or till
+you meet with some better help from other hands. Therefore, without
+further ceremony, I will go on to relate a singular adventure just
+happened in the place where I am writing, wherein it may be highly
+useful for the public to be informed.[255]
+
+"Three young ladies of our town were on Saturday last indicted for
+witchcraft. The witnesses against the first deposed upon oath before
+Justice Bindover, that she kept spirits locked up in velvets, which
+sometimes appeared in flames of blue fire; that she used magical herbs,
+with some of which she drew in hundreds of men daily to her, who went
+out from her presence all inflamed, their mouths parched, and a hot
+steam issuing from them, attended with a grievous stench; that many of
+the said men were by the force of that herb metamorphosed into swine,
+and lay wallowing in the kennels for twenty-four hours, before they
+could reassume their shapes or their senses.
+
+"It was proved against the second, that she cut off by night the limbs
+from dead bodies that were hanged, and was seen to dig holes in the
+ground, to mutter some conjuring words, and bury pieces of the flesh,
+after the usual manner of witches.
+
+"The third was accused for a notorious piece of sorcery, long practised
+by hags, of moulding up pieces of dough into the shapes of men, women,
+and children; then heating them at a gentle fire, which had a
+sympathetic power to torment the bowels of those in the neighbourhood.
+
+"This was the sum of what was objected against the three ladies, who
+indeed had nothing to say in their own defence, but downright denying
+the facts, which is like to avail very little when they come upon their
+trials.
+
+"But the parson of our parish, a strange refractory man, will believe
+nothing of all this; so that the whole town cries out, 'Shame! that one
+of his coat should be such an atheist;' and design to complain of him to
+the bishop. He goes about very oddly to solve the matter. He supposes,
+that the first of these ladies keeping a brandy and tobacco shop, the
+fellows went out smoking, and got drunk towards evening, and made
+themselves beasts. He says, the second is a butcher's daughter, and
+sometimes brings a quarter of mutton from the slaughter-house overnight
+against a market-day, and once buried a bit of beef in the ground, as a
+known receipt to cure warts on her hands. The parson affirms, that the
+third sells gingerbread, which, to please the children, she is forced to
+stamp with images before it is baked; and if it burns their guts, it is
+because they eat too much, or do not drink after it.
+
+"These are the answers he gives to solve this wonderful phenomenon; upon
+which I shall not animadvert, but leave it among the philosophers: and
+so wishing you all success in your undertakings for the amendment of the
+world, I remain,
+
+"Dear Cousin,
+
+"Your most affectionate Kinsman,
+
+"and humble Servant,
+
+                                        "EPHRAIM BEDSTAFF."
+
+"P.S.--Those who were condemned to death among the Athenians, were
+obliged to take a dose of poison, which made them die upwards, seizing
+first upon their feet, making them cold and insensible, and so ascending
+gradually, till it reached the vital parts. I believe your death, which
+you foretold would happen on the 17th instant, will fall out the same
+way, and that your distemper hath already seized on you, and makes
+progress daily. The lower part of you, that is, the advertisements,[256]
+is dead; and these have risen for these ten days last past, so that they
+now take up almost a whole paragraph. Pray, sir, do your endeavour to
+drive this distemper as much as possible to the extreme parts, and keep
+it there, as wise folks do the gout; for if it once gets into your
+stomach, it will soon fly up into your head, and you are a dead man."
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, May 27.
+
+We hear from Leghorn, that Sir Edward Whitaker, with five men-of-war,
+four transports, and two fire-ships, was arrived at that port, and
+Admiral Byng was suddenly expected. Their squadrons being joined, they
+design to sail directly for Final, to transport the reinforcements,
+lodged in those parts, to Barcelona.
+
+They write from Milan, that Count Thaun arrived there on the 16th
+instant, N.S., and proceeded on his journey to Turin on the 21st, in
+order to concert such measures with his royal highness, as shall appear
+necessary for the operations of the ensuing campaign.
+
+Advices from Dauphiny say, that the troops of the Duke of Savoy began
+already to appear in those valleys, whereof he made himself master the
+last year; and that the Duke of Berwick applied himself with all
+imaginable diligence to secure the passes of the mountains by ordering
+entrenchments to be made towards Briançon, Tourneau, and the Valley of
+Queiras. That general has also been at Marseilles and Toulon, to hasten
+the transportation of the corn and provisions designed for his army.
+
+Letters from Vienna, bearing date May 23, N.S., import, that the
+Cardinal of Saxe-Zeits and the Prince of Lichtenstein were preparing to
+set out for Presburg, to assist at the Diet of the States of Hungary,
+which is to be assembled at that place on the 25th of this month.
+General Heister would shortly appear at the head of his army at
+Trentschin, which place is appointed for the general rendezvous of the
+Imperial forces in Hungary; from whence he will advance to lay siege to
+Neuhausel: in the meantime, reinforcements, with a great train of
+artillery, are marching the same way. The King of Denmark arrived on the
+both instant at Innspruck, and on the 26th at Dresden, under a triple
+discharge of the artillery of that place; but his Majesty refused the
+ceremonies of a public entry.
+
+Our letters from the Upper Rhine say, that the Imperial army began to
+form itself at Etlingen; where the respective deputies of the Elector
+Palatine, the Prince of Baden Durlach, the Bishopric of Spires, &c. were
+assembled, and had taken the necessary measures for the provision of
+forage, the security of the country against the incursions of the enemy,
+and laying a bridge over the Rhine. Several vessels laden with corn are
+daily passing before Frankfort for the Lower Rhine.
+
+Letters from Poland inform us, that a detachment of Muscovite cavalry,
+under the command of General Infland, had joined the confederate army;
+and the infantry commanded by General Goltz, was expected to come up
+within few days. These succours will amount to 20,000 men.
+
+Our last advices from the Hague, dated June the 4th, N.S., say, that
+they expected a courier from the French Court with the ratification of
+the preliminaries that night or the day following. His Grace the Duke of
+Marlborough will set out for Brussels on Wednesday or Thursday next, if
+the despatches which are expected from Paris don't alter his
+resolutions. Letters from Majorca confirm the honourable capitulation of
+the castle of Alicante, and also the death of the governor,
+Major-General Richards, Colonel Sibourg, and Major Vignolles, who were
+all buried in the ruins of that place, by the springing of their great
+mine, which did, it seems, more execution than was reported. Monsieur
+Torcy passed through Mons in his return, and had there a long conference
+with the Elector of Bavaria; after which, that prince spoke publicly of
+the treatment he had from France with the utmost indignation.
+
+Any person that shall come publicly abroad in a fantastical habit,
+contrary to the present mode and fashion, except Don Diego
+Dismallo,[257] or any other out of poverty, shall have his name and
+dress inserted in our next.
+
+N.B.--Mr. How'd'call is desired to leave off those buttons.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 249: Ben Jonson's "Volpone; or, The Fox."]
+
+[Footnote 250: The comedy, "Love in a Hollow Tree; or, The Lawyer's
+Fortune," was published by William, Lord Viscount Grimston (1683-1756),
+when he was twenty-two years of age. On the occasion of a contested
+election for the borough of St. Albans (1736), it was reprinted--by the
+Duchess of Marlborough, it is said--with notes attacking the author, and
+adorned with the frontispiece of an elephant dancing on a rope. The
+viscount bought up as nearly as he could the whole edition. "This worthy
+notleman was a good husband to one of the best of wives, an indulgent
+father of a numerous offspring, a kind master to his servants, a
+generous friend, and an affable, hospitable neighbour." (Biog. Dram.)]
+
+[Footnote 251: See No. 17]
+
+[Footnote 252: Probably the Hon. Edward Howard, second son of Henry,
+fifth Earl of Suffolk. On the death of his nephew without issue in 1722,
+he became eighth Earl of Suffolk, but he died unmarried in 1731.]
+
+[Footnote 253: See No. 7.]
+
+[Footnote 254: Dr. Jonathan Goddard, the physician and confidant of
+Cromwell, a member of the Royal Society, and medical professor of
+Gresham College, discovered in the course of his chemical experiments,
+the famous elixir, called here his "drops." Dr. Goddard died of an
+apoplexy in 1675. "March 24, 1674-5. About 10 o'clock that night, my
+very good friend, Dr. Jonathan Goddard, reader of the physic lectures at
+Gresham College, suddenly fell down dead in the street, as he was
+entering into a coach. He was a pretty corpulent and tall man, a
+bachelor between 45 and 50 years of age; he was melancholy, inclined to
+be cynical, and used now and then to complain of giddiness in his head.
+He was an excellent mathematician, and some time physician to Oliver the
+Protector" (John Coniers, apothecary, in Shoe Lane. MSS. Sloan. 958).
+The "drops" were a preparation of spirit of hartshorn, with other
+things; they were used in fainting, apoplexies, &c.]
+
+[Footnote 255: With this satire on the vulgar prejudices concerning
+witches, may be compared what Addison says in the _Spectator_ (No. 117):
+"I believe in general that there is and has been such a thing as
+witchcraft; but at the same time can give no credit to any particular
+instance of it."]
+
+[Footnote 256: The number of advertisements in the Tatler gradually
+increased; but as a compensation the "news" paragraph was dropped.]
+
+[Footnote 257: This name was afterwards applied by the Tory writers to
+the Earl of Nottingham; and the author of the 'Examiner' (vol. iii. No
+48) says that it was Steele who first used the name for this nobleman,
+"and upon no less an important affair, than the oddness of his buttons."
+In the 'Guardian (No. 53), however, Steele disavowed any reference to
+Lord Nottingham: "I do not remember the mention of Don Diego; nor do I
+remember tht ever I thought of Lord Nottingham in any character drawn in
+any one paper of Bickerstaff." See also No. 31, below.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 22. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, May 28_, to _Tuesday, May 31_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, May 28.
+
+I came hither this evening to see fashions, and who should I first
+encounter but my old friend Cynthio[258] (encompassed by a crowd of
+young fellows) dictating on the passion of love with the gayest air
+imaginable. "Well," says he, "as to what I know of the matter, there is
+nothing but ogling with skill carries a woman; but indeed it is not
+every fool that is capable of this art: you will find twenty can speak
+eloquently, fifty can fight manfully, and a thousand that can dress
+genteelly at a mistress, where there is one that can gaze skilfully.
+This requires an exquisite judgment, to take the language of her eyes to
+yours exactly, and not let yours talk too fast for hers; as at a play
+between the acts, when Beau Frisk stands upon a bench full in
+Lindamira's face, and her dear eyes are searching round to avoid that
+flaring open fool; she meets the watchful glance of her true lover, and
+sees his heart attentive on her charms, and waiting for a second twinkle
+of her eye for its next motion." Here the good company sneered; but he
+goes on. "Nor is this attendance a slavery, when a man meets
+encouragement, and her eye comes often in his way: for, after an evening
+so spent, and the repetition of four or five significant looks at him,
+the happy man goes home to his lodging, full of ten thousand pleasing
+images: his brain is dilated, and gives him all the ideas and prospects
+which it ever lets in to its seat of pleasure. Thus a kind look from
+Lindamira revives in his imagination all the beauteous lawns, green
+fields, woods, forests, rivers and solitudes, which he had ever before
+seen in picture, description, or real life: and all with this addition,
+that he now sees them with the eyes of a happy lover, as before only
+with those of a common man. You laugh, gentlemen: but consider
+yourselves (you common people that were never in love) and compare
+yourselves in good humour with yourselves out of humour, and you will
+then acknowledge, that all external objects affect you according to the
+disposition you are in to receive their impressions, and not as those
+objects are in their own nature. How much more shall all that passes
+within his view and observation, touch with delight a man who is
+prepossessed with successful love, which is an assemblage of soft
+affections, gay desires, and hopeful resolutions?" Poor Cynthio went on
+at this rate to the crowd about him, without any purpose in his talk,
+but to vent a heart overflowing with sense of success. I wondered what
+could exalt him from the distress in which he had long appeared, to so
+much alacrity. But my familiar has given me the state of his affairs. It
+seems then, that lately coming out of the play-house, his mistress, who
+knows he is in her livery (as the manner of insolent beauties is),
+resolved to keep him still so, and gave him so much wages, as to
+complain to him of the crowd she was to pass through. He had his wits
+and resolution enough about him to take her hand, and say, he would
+attend her to her coach. All the way thither, my good young man
+stammered at every word, and stumbled at every step. His mistress,
+wonderfully pleased with her triumph, put him to a thousand questions,
+to make a man of his natural wit speak with hesitation, and let drop her
+fan, to see him recover it awkwardly. This is the whole foundation of
+Cynthio's recovery to the sprightly air he appears with at present. I
+grew mighty curious to know something more of that lady's affairs, as
+being amazed how she could dally with an offer of one of his merit and
+fortune. I sent Pacolet to her lodgings; he immediately brought me back
+the following letter to her friend and confidante Amanda in the country,
+wherein she has opened her heart and all its folds.
+
+"DEAR AMANDA,
+
+The town grows so empty, that you must expect my letter so too, except
+you will allow me to talk of myself instead of others: you cannot
+imagine what pain it is, after a whole day spent in public, to want
+your company, and the ease which friendship allows in being vain to each
+other, and speaking all our minds. An account of the slaughter which
+these unhappy eyes have made within ten days last past, would make me
+appear too great a tyrant to be allowed in a Christian country. I shall
+therefore confine myself to my principal conquests, which are the hearts
+of Beau Frisk, and Jack Freeland, besides Cynthio, who, you know, wore
+my fetters before you went out of town. Shall I tell you my weakness? I
+begin to love Frisk: it is the best-humoured impertinent thing in the
+world: he is always too in waiting, and will certainly carry me off one
+time or other. Freeland's father and mine have been upon treaty without
+consulting me; and Cynthio has been eternally watching my eyes, without
+approaching me, my friends, my maid, or any one about me: he hopes to
+get me, I believe, as they say the rattlesnake does the squirrel, by
+staring at me till I drop into his mouth. Freeland demands me for a
+jointure which he thinks deserves me; Cynthio thinks nothing high enough
+to be my value: Freeland therefore will take it for no obligation to
+have me; and Cynthio's idea of me, is what will vanish by knowing me
+better. Familiarity will equally turn the veneration of the one, and the
+indifference of the other, into contempt. I will stick therefore to my
+old maxim, to have that sort of man, who can have no greater views than
+what are in my power to give him possession of. The utmost of my dear
+Frisk's ambition is, to be thought a man of fashion; and therefore has
+been so much in mode, as to resolve upon me, because the whole town
+likes me. Thus I choose rather a man who loves me because others do,
+than one who approves me on his own judgment. He that judges for himself
+in love, will often change his opinion; but he that follows the sense of
+others, must be constant, as long as a woman can make advances. The
+visits I make, the entertainments I give, and the addresses I receive,
+will be all arguments for me with a man of Frisk's second-hand genius;
+but would be so many bars to my happiness with any other man. However,
+since Frisk can wait, I shall enjoy a summer or two longer, and remain a
+single woman, in the sublime pleasure of being followed and admired;
+which nothing can equal, except that of being beloved by you.
+
+"I am, &c."
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, May 30.
+
+My chief business here this evening was to speak to my friends in behalf
+of honest Cave Underhill,[259] who has been a comic for three
+generations: my father[260] admired him extremely when he was a boy.
+There is certainly nature excellently represented in his manner of
+action; in which he ever avoided that general fault in players, of doing
+too much. It must be confessed, he has not the merit of some ingenious
+persons now on the stage, of adding to his authors; for the actors were
+so dull in the last age, that many of them have gone out of the world,
+without having ever spoke one word of their own in the theatre. Poor
+Cave is so mortified, that he quibbles, and tells you, he pretends only
+to act a part fit for a man who has one foot in the grave; viz., a
+gravedigger. All admirers of true comedy, it is hoped, will have the
+gratitude to be present on the last day of his acting, who, if he does
+not happen to please them, will have it even then to say, that it is his
+first offence.
+
+But there is a gentleman here, who says he has it from good hands, that
+there is actually a subscription made by many persons of wit and
+quality, for the encouragement of new comedies. This design will very
+much contribute to the improvement and diversion of the town: but as
+every man is most concerned for himself, I, who am of a saturnine and
+melancholy complexion, cannot but murmur, that there is not an equal
+invitation to write tragedies, having by me, in my book of commonplaces,
+enough to enable me to finish a very sad one by the 5th of next month. I
+have the farewell of a general, with a truncheon in his hand, dying for
+love, in six lines. I have the principles of a politician (who does all
+the mischief in the play) together with his declaration on the vanity of
+ambition in his last moments, expressed in a page and a half. I have all
+my oaths ready, and my similes want nothing but application. I won't
+pretend to give you an account of the plot, it being the same design
+upon which all tragedies have been writ for several years last past; and
+from the beginning of the first scene, the frequenters of the house may
+know, as well as the author, when the battle is to be fought, the lady
+to yield, and the hero to proceed to his wedding and coronation. Besides
+these advantages which I have in readiness, I have an eminent tragedian
+very much my friend, who shall come in, and go through the whole five
+acts, without troubling me for one sentence, whether he is to kill or be
+killed, love or be loved, win battles or lose them, or whatever other
+tragical performance I shall please to assign him.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 30.
+
+I have this day received a letter subscribed "Fidelia," that gives me an
+account of an enchantment under which a young lady suffers, and desires
+my help to exorcise her from the power of the sorcerer. Her lover is a
+rake of sixty; the lady a virtuous woman of twenty-five: her relations
+are to the last degree afflicted, and amazed at this irregular passion:
+their sorrow I know not how to remove, but can their astonishment; for
+there is no spirit in woman half so prevalent as that of contradiction,
+which is the sole cause of her perseverance. Let the whole family go
+dressed in a body, and call the bride to-morrow morning to her nuptials,
+and I'll undertake, the inconstant will forget her lover in the midst of
+all his aches. But if this expedient does not succeed, I must be so just
+to the young lady's distinguishing sense, as to applaud her choice. A
+fine young woman, at last, is but what is due from fate to an honest
+fellow, who has suffered so unmercifully by the sex; and I think we
+cannot enough celebrate her heroic virtue, who (like the patriot that
+ended a pestilence by plunging himself into a gulf) gives herself up to
+gorge that dragon which has devoured so many virgins before her.
+
+A letter directed to "Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq.; astrologer and physician
+in ordinary to her Majesty's subjects of Great Britain, with respect,"
+is come to hand.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 258: See Nos. 1, 5, 35, 85.]
+
+[Footnote 259: The following advertisement appeared in Nos. 20 and 22:
+"Mr. Cave Underhill, the famous comedian in the reigns of Charles II.,
+King James II., King William and Queen Mary, and her present Majesty
+Queen Anne; but now not able to perform so often as heretofore in the
+playhouse, and having had losses to the value of near £2500, is to have
+the tragedy of 'Hamlet' acted for his benefit, on Friday, the 3rd of
+June next, at the Theatre Royal in Drury Lane, in which he is to perform
+his original part, the Grave-maker. Tickets may be had at the Mitre
+Tavern in Fleet Street." Colley Cibber says that Underhill was
+particularly admired in the character of the Grave-digger; and he adds:
+"Underhill was a correct and natural comedian; his particular excellence
+was in characters that may be called still-life; I mean the stiff, the
+heavy, and the stupid; to these he gave the exactest and most expressive
+colours, and in some of them looked as if it were not in the power of
+human passions to alter a feature of him. A countenance of wood could
+not be more fixed than his, when the blockhead of a character required
+it; his face was full and long; from his crown to the end of his nose
+was the shorter half of it, so that the disproportion of his lower
+features, when soberly composed, threw him into the most lumpish, moping
+mortal, that ever made beholders merry; not but, at other times, he
+could be wakened into spirit equally ridiculous." Genest says that
+Underhill acted again as the Grave-digger on Feb. 23, 1710, at Drury
+Lane.]
+
+[Footnote 260: "Grandfather" (folio).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 23. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, May 31_, to _Thursday, June 2_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, May 31.
+
+The generality of mankind are so very fond of this world, and of staying
+in it, that a man cannot have eminent skill in any one art, but they
+will, in spite of his teeth, make him a physician also, that being the
+science the worldlings have most need of. I pretended, when I first set
+up, to astrology only; but I am told, I have deep skill also in
+medicine. I am applied to now by a gentleman for my advice in behalf of
+his wife, who, upon the least matrimonial difficulty, is excessively
+troubled with fits, and can bear no manner of passion without falling
+into immediate convulsions. I must confess, it is a case I have known
+before, and remember the party was recovered by certain words pronounced
+in the midst of the fit by the learned doctor who performed the cure.
+These ails have usually their beginning from the affections of the mind:
+therefore you must have patience to let me give you an instance, whereby
+you may discern the cause of the distemper, and then proceed in the cure
+as follows:
+
+A fine town lady was married to a gentleman of ancient descent in one of
+the counties of Great Britain, who had good humour to a weakness, and
+was that sort of person, of whom it is usually said, he is no man's
+enemy but his own: one who had too much tenderness of soul to have any
+authority with his wife; and she too little sense to give him authority
+for that reason. His kind wife observed this temper in him, and made
+proper use of it. But knowing it was below a gentlewoman to wrangle, she
+resolved upon an expedient to save decorum, and wear her dear to her
+point at the same time. She therefore took upon her to govern him, by
+falling into fits whenever she was repulsed in a request, or
+contradicted in a discourse. It was a fish-day, when in the midst of her
+husband's good humour at table, she bethought herself to try her
+project. She made signs that she had swallowed a bone. The man grew pale
+as ashes, and ran to her assistance, calling for drink. "No, my dear,"
+said she, recovering, "it is down; don't be frightened." This accident
+betrayed his softness enough. The next day she complained, a lady's
+chariot, whose husband had not half his estate, had a crane-neck, and
+hung with twice the air that hers did. He answered, "Madam, you know my
+income; you know I have lost two coach-horses this spring."--Down she
+fell.--"Hartshorn! Betty, Susan, Alice, throw water in her face." With
+much care and pains she was at last brought to herself, and the vehicle
+in which she visited was amended in the nicest manner, to prevent
+relapses; but they frequently happened during that husband's whole life,
+which he had the good fortune to end in few years after. The
+disconsolate soon pitched upon a very agreeable successor, whom she very
+prudently designed to govern by the same method. This man knew her
+little arts, and resolved to break through all tenderness, and be
+absolute master, as soon as occasion offered. One day it happened, that
+a discourse arose about furniture: he was very glad of the occasion, and
+fell into an invective against china,[261] protesting, he would never
+let five pounds more of his money be laid out that way as long as he
+breathed. She immediately fainted--he starts up as amazed, and calls for
+help--the maids ran to the closet--he chafes her face, bends her
+forwards, and beats the palms of her hands: her convulsions increase,
+and down she tumbles on the floor, where she lies quite dead, in spite
+of what the whole family, from the nursery to the kitchen, could do for
+her relief.
+
+While every servant was thus helping or lamenting their mistress, he,
+fixing his cheek to hers, seemed to be following her in a trance of
+sorrow; but secretly whispers her, "My dear, this will never do: what is
+within my power and fortune, you may always command, but none of your
+artifices: you are quite in other hands than those you passed these
+pretty passions upon." This made her almost in the condition she
+pretended; her convulsions now came thicker, nor was she to be held
+down. The kind man doubles his care, helps the servants to throw water
+in her face by full quarts; and when the sinking part of the fit came
+again, "Well, my dear," said he, "I applaud your action; but I must take
+my leave of you till you are more sincere with me. Farewell for ever:
+you shall always know where to hear of me, and want for nothing." With
+that, he ordered the maids to keep plying her with hartshorn, while he
+went for a physician: he was scarce at the stairhead when she followed;
+and pulling him into a closet, thanked him for her cure; which was so
+absolute, that she gave me this relation herself, to be communicated for
+the benefit of all the voluntary invalids of her sex.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, May 31.
+
+The public is not so little my concern, though I am but a student, as
+that I should not interest myself in the present great things in
+agitation. I am still of opinion, the French king will sign the
+preliminaries. With that view, I have sent him by my familiar the
+following epistle, and admonished him, on pain of what I shall say of
+him to future generations, to act with sincerity on this occasion.
+
+#"London, May 31.#
+
+#"Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., of Great Britain, to Lewis XIV. of France.#
+
+"The surprising news which arrived this day, of your Majesty's having
+refused to sign the treaty your Ministers have in a manner sued for, is
+what gives ground to this application to your Majesty, from one whose
+name, perhaps, is too obscure to have ever reached your territories; but
+one who, with all the European world, is affected with your
+determinations. Therefore, as it is mine and the common cause of
+mankind, I presume to expostulate with you on this occasion. It will, I
+doubt not, appear to the vulgar extravagant, that the actions of a
+mighty prince should be balanced by the censure of a private man, whose
+approbation or dislike are equally contemptible in their eyes, when they
+regard the thrones of sovereigns. But your Majesty has shown, through
+the whole course of your reign, too great a value for liberal arts to be
+insensible, that true fame lies only in the hands of learned men, by
+whom it is to be transmitted to futurity, with marks of honour or
+reproach to the end of time. The date of human life is too short to
+recompense the cares which attend the most private condition: therefore
+it is, that our souls are made as it were too big for it, and extend
+themselves in the prospect of a longer existence, in a good fame and
+memory of worthy actions after our decease. The whole race of men have
+this passion in some degree implanted in their bosoms, which is the
+strongest and noblest incitation to honest attempts: but the base use of
+the arts of peace, eloquence, poetry, and all the parts of learning,
+have been possessed by souls so unworthy those faculties, that the names
+and appellations of things have been confounded by the labours and
+writings of prostituted men, who have stamped a reputation upon such
+actions as are in themselves the objects of contempt and disgrace. This
+is that which has misled your Majesty in the conduct of your reign, and
+made that life, which might have been the most imitable, the most to be
+avoided. To this it is, that the great and excellent qualities of which
+your Majesty is master, are lost in their application; and your Majesty
+has been carrying on for many years the most cruel tyranny, with all the
+noble methods which are used to support a just reign. Thus it is, that
+it avails nothing that you are a bountiful master; that you are so
+generous as to reward even the unsuccessful with honour and riches; that
+no laudable action passes unrewarded in your kingdoms; that you have
+searched all nations for obscure merit; in a word, that you are in your
+private character endowed with every princely quality, when all this is
+subjected to unjust and ill-taught ambition, which to the injury of the
+world, is gilded by those endowments. However, if your Majesty will
+condescend to look into your own soul, and consider all its faculties
+and weaknesses with impartiality; if you will but be convinced, that
+life is supported in you by the ordinary methods of food, rest, and
+sleep; you would think it impossible that you could ever be so much
+imposed on, as to have been wrought into a belief, that so many
+thousands of the same make with yourself, were formed by Providence for
+no other end, but by the hazard of their very being to extend the
+conquests and glory of an individual of their own species. A very little
+reflection will convince your Majesty, that such cannot be the intent of
+the Creator; and if not, what horror must it give your Majesty to think
+of the vast devastations your ambition has made among your fellow
+creatures? While the warmth of youth, the flattery of crowds, and a
+continual series of success and triumph, indulged your Majesty in this
+allusion of mind, it was less to be wondered at, that you proceeded in
+this mistaken pursuit of grandeur; but when age, disappointments, public
+calamities, personal distempers, and the reverse of all that makes men
+forget their true being, are fallen upon you: heavens! is it possible
+you can live without remorse? Can the wretched man be a tyrant? Can
+grief study torments? Can sorrow be cruel?--
+
+"Your Majesty will observe, I do not bring against you a railing
+accusation; but as you are a strict professor of religion, I beseech
+your Majesty to stop the effusion of blood, by receiving the opportunity
+which presents itself, for the preservation of your distressed people.
+Be no longer so infatuated, as to hope for renown from murder and
+violence: but consider, that the great day will come, in which this
+world and all its glory shall change in a moment: when nature shall
+sicken, and the earth and sea give up the bodies committed to them, to
+appear before the last tribunal. Will it then, O king! be an answer for
+the lives of millions who have fallen by the sword, 'They perished for
+my glory'? That day will come on, and one like it is immediately
+approaching: injured nations advance towards thy habitation: vengeance
+has begun its march, which is to be diverted only by the penitence of
+the oppressor. Awake, O monarch, from thy lethargy! Disdain the abuses
+thou hast received: pull down the statue which calls thee immortal: be
+truly great: tear thy purple, and put on sackcloth.
+
+"I am,
+
+"Thy generous Enemy,
+
+                                        "ISAAC BICKERSTAFF."
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 1.
+
+Advices from Brussels of the 6th instant, N.S., say, his Highness Prince
+Eugene had received a letter from Monsieur Torcy, wherein that Minister,
+after many expressions of great respect, acquaints him, that his master
+had absolutely refused to sign the preliminaries to the treaty which he
+had, in his Majesty's behalf, consented to at the Hague. Upon the
+receipt of this intelligence, the face of things at that place were
+immediately altered, and the necessary orders were transmitted to the
+troops (which lay most remote from thence) to move towards the place of
+rendezvous with all expedition. The enemy seem also to prepare for the
+field, and have at present drawn together twenty-five thousand men in
+the plains of Lenz. Marshal Villars is at the head of those troops; and
+has given the generals under his command all possible assurances, that
+he will turn the fate of the war to the advantage of his master.
+
+They write from the Hague of the 7th, that Monsieur Rouillé had received
+orders from the Court of France, to signify to the States-General and
+the Ministers of the High Allies, that the king could not consent to the
+preliminaries of a treaty of peace, as it was offered to him by Monsieur
+Torcy. The great difficulty is the business of Spain, on which
+particular his Ministers seemed only to say, during the treaty, that it
+was not so immediately under their master's direction, as that he could
+answer for its being relinquished by the Duke of Anjou: but now he
+positively answers, that he cannot comply with what his Minister has
+promised in his behalf, even in such points as are wholly in himself to
+act in or not. This has had no other effect, than to give the Alliance
+fresh arguments for being diffident of engagements entered into by
+France. The Pensioner made a report of all which this Minister had
+declared to the Deputies of the States-General, and all things turn
+towards a vigorous war. The Duke of Marlborough designed to leave the
+Hague within two days, in order to put himself at the head of the army,
+which is to assemble on the 17th instant between the Scheldt and the
+Lis. A fleet of eighty sail, laden with corn from the Baltic, is arrived
+in the Texel. The States have sent circular letters to all the
+provinces, to notify this change of affairs, and animate their subjects
+to new resolutions in defence of their country.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 261: Addison ridiculed the prevalent craze for collecting
+china in No. 10 of the _Lover_; and Swift wrote to Steele, "What do I
+know whether china is dear or not; I once took a fancy of resolving to
+go mad for it, but now it is off."]
+
+
+
+
+No. 24. [ADDISON.
+
+From _Thursday, June 2_, to _Saturday, June 4_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, June 2.
+
+In my paper of the 28th of the last month,[262] I mentioned several
+characters which want explanation to the generality of readers: among
+others, I spoke of a Pretty Fellow; but I have received a kind
+admonition in a letter, to take care that I do not omit to show also
+what is meant by a Very Pretty Fellow, which is to be allowed as a
+character by itself, and a person exalted above the other by a peculiar
+sprightliness, as one who, by a distinguishing vigour, outstrips his
+companions, and has thereby deserved and obtained a particular
+appellation, or nickname of familiarity. Some have this distinction from
+the fair sex, who are so generous as to take into their protection those
+who are laughed at by the men, and place them for that reason in degrees
+of favour. The chief of this sort is Colonel Brunett, who is a man of
+fashion, because he will be so; and practises a very jaunty way of
+behaviour, because he is too careless to know when he offends, and too
+sanguine to be mortified if he did know it. Thus the colonel has met
+with a town ready to receive him, and cannot possibly see why he should
+not make use of their favour, and set himself in the first degree of
+conversation. Therefore he is very successfully loud among the wits,
+familiar among the ladies, and dissolute among the rakes. Thus he is
+admitted in one place, because he is so in another; and every man treats
+Brunett well, not out of his particular esteem for him, but in respect
+to the opinion of others. It is to me a solid pleasure to see the world
+thus mistaken on the good-natured side; for it is ten to one but the
+colonel mounts into a general officer, marries a fine lady, and is
+master of a good estate, before they come to explain upon him. What
+gives most delight to me in this observation, is, that all this arises
+from pure nature, and the colonel can account for his success no more
+than those by whom he succeeds. For these causes and considerations, I
+pronounce him a true woman's man, and in the first degree, "a very
+pretty fellow." The next to a man of this universal genius, is one who
+is peculiarly formed for the service of the ladies, and his merit
+chiefly is to be of no consequence. I am indeed a little in doubt,
+whether he ought not rather to be called a "very happy," than a "very
+pretty" fellow? For he is admitted at all hours: all he says or does,
+which would offend in another, are passed over in him; and all actions
+and speeches which please, doubly please if they come from him: no one
+wonders or takes notice when he is wrong; but all admire him when he is
+in the right. By the way it is fit to remark, that there are people of
+better sense than these, who endeavour at this character; but they are
+out of nature; and though, with some industry, they get the characters
+of fools, they cannot arrive to be "very," seldom to be merely "pretty
+fellows." But where nature has formed a person for this station amongst
+men, he is gifted with a peculiar genius for success, and his very
+errors and absurdities contribute to it; this felicity attending him to
+his life's end. For it being in a manner necessary that he should be of
+no consequence, he is as well in old age as youth; and I know a man,
+whose son has been some years a pretty fellow, who is himself at this
+hour a "very" pretty fellow. One must move tenderly in this place, for
+we are now in the ladies' lodgings, and speaking of such as are
+supported by their influence and favour; against which there is not,
+neither ought there to be, any dispute or observation. But when we come
+into more free air, one may talk a little more at large. Give me leave
+then to mention three, whom I do not doubt but we shall see make
+considerable figures; and these are such as, for their Bacchanalian
+performances, must be admitted into this order. They are three brothers
+lately landed from Holland: as yet, indeed, they have not made their
+public entry, but lodge and converse at Wapping. They have merited
+already on the waterside particular titles: the first is called
+Hogshead; the second Culverin; and the third Musket. This fraternity is
+preparing for our end of the town by their ability in the exercises of
+Bacchus, and measure their time and merit by liquid weight, and power
+of drinking. Hogshead is a prettier fellow than Culverin by two quarts,
+and Culverin than Musket by a full pint. It is to be feared, Hogshead is
+so often too full, and Culverin overloaded, that Musket will be the only
+lasting "very" pretty fellow of the three.[263] A third sort of this
+denomination are such as, by very daring adventures in love, have
+purchased to themselves renown and new names; as, Joe Carry, for his
+excessive strength and vigour; Tom Drybones, for his generous loss of
+youth and health; and Cancrum, for his meritorious rottenness. These
+great and leading spirits are proposed to all such of our British youth
+as would arrive at perfection in these different kinds; and if their
+parts and accomplishments were well imitated, it is not doubted but that
+our nation would soon excel all others in wit and arts, as they already
+do in arms.
+
+N.B.--The gentleman who stole Betty Pepin,[264] may own it, for he is
+allowed to be a "very" pretty fellow.
+
+#But we must proceed to the explanation of other terms in our writings.#
+
+To know what a Toast is in the country, gives as much perplexity as she
+herself does in town: and, indeed, the learned differ very much upon the
+original of this word, and the acceptation of it among the moderns.
+However, it is by all agreed to have a joyous and cheerful import. A
+toast in a cold morning, heightened by nutmeg, and sweetened with sugar,
+has for many ages been given to our rural dissenters of justice, before
+they entered upon causes, and has been of great and politic use to take
+off the severity of their sentences; but has indeed been remarkable for
+one ill effect, that it inclines those who use it immoderately, to speak
+Latin, to the admiration, rather than information, of an audience. This
+application of "a toast" makes it very obvious, that the word may,
+without a metaphor, be understood as an apt name for a thing which
+raises us in the most sovereign degree. But many of the wits of the last
+age will assert, that the word, in its present sense, was known among
+them in their youth, and had its rise from an accident at the town of
+Bath, in the reign of King Charles II. It happened, that on a public day
+a celebrated beauty of those times was in the Cross Bath, and one of the
+crowd of her admirers took a glass of the water in which the fair one
+stood, and drank her health to the company. There was in the place a gay
+fellow, half fuddled, who offered to jump in, and swore, though he liked
+not the liquor, he would have the toast. He was opposed in his
+resolution; yet this whim gave foundation to the present honour which is
+done to the lady we mention in our liquors, who has ever since been
+called a "toast." Though this institution had so trivial a beginning, it
+is now elevated into a formal order; and that happy virgin who is
+received and drank to at their meetings, has no more to do in this life,
+but to judge and accept of the first good offer. The manner of her
+inauguration is much like that of the choice of a Doge in Venice: it is
+performed by balloting; and when she is so chosen, she reigns
+indisputably for that ensuing year; but must be elected anew to prolong
+her empire a moment beyond it. When she is regularly chosen, her name is
+written with a diamond on a drinking-glass.[265] The hieroglyphic of the
+diamond is to show her, that her value is imaginary; and that of the
+glass to acquaint her, that her condition is frail, and depends on the
+hand which holds her. This wise design admonishes her, neither to
+overrate nor depreciate her charms; as well considering and applying,
+that it is perfectly according to the humour and taste of the company,
+whether the toast is eaten, or left as an offal.
+
+The foremost of the whole rank of toasts, and the most undisputed in
+their present empire, are Mrs. Gatty and Mrs. Frontlet: the first, an
+agreeable; the second, an awful beauty. These ladies are perfect
+friends, out of a knowledge that their perfections are too different to
+stand in competition. He that likes Gatty can have no relish for so
+solemn a creature as Frontlet; and an admirer of Frontlet will call
+Gatty a maypole-girl. Gatty for ever smiles upon you; and Frontlet
+disdains to see you smile. Gatty's love is a shining quick flame;
+Frontlet's a slow wasting fire. Gatty likes the man that diverts her;
+Frontlet him who adores her. Gatty always improves the soil in which she
+travels; Frontlet lays waste the country. Gatty does not only smile, but
+laughs at her lover; Frontlet not only looks serious, but frowns at him.
+All the men of wit (and coxcombs their followers) are professed servants
+of Gatty: the politicians and pretenders give solemn worship to
+Frontlet. Their reign will be best judged of by its duration. Frontlet
+will never be chosen more; and Gatty is a toast for life.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 3.
+
+Letters from Hamburg of the 7th instant, N.S., inform us, that no art or
+cost is omitted to make the stay of his Danish Majesty at Dresden
+agreeable; but there are various speculations upon the interview between
+King Augustus and that prince, many putting politic constructions upon
+his Danish Majesty's arrival, at a time when his troops are marching out
+of Hungary, with orders to pass through Saxony, where it is given out,
+that they are to be recruited. It is said also, that several Polish
+senators have invited King Augustus to return into Poland. His Majesty
+of Sweden, according to the same advices, has passed the Dnieper without
+any opposition from the Muscovites, and advances with all possible
+expedition towards Voldinia, where he proposes to join King Stanislaus
+and General Cressau.
+
+We hear from Berne of the 1st instant, N.S., that there is not a
+province in France, from whence the Court is not apprehensive of
+receiving accounts of public emotions, occasioned by the want of corn.
+The General Diet of the thirteen cantons is assembled at Baden, but have
+not yet entered upon business, so that the affair of Tockenburg is yet
+at a stand.
+
+Letters from the Hague, dated the 11th instant, N.S., advise that
+Monsieur Rouillé having acquainted the Ministers of the Allies, that his
+master had refused to ratify the preliminaries of a treaty adjusted with
+Monsieur Torcy, set out for Paris on Sunday morning. The same day the
+foreign Ministers met a committee of the States-General, where Monsieur
+van Hessen opened the business upon which they were assembled, and in a
+very warm discourse laid before them the conduct of France in the late
+negotiations, representing the abject manner in which she had laid open
+her own distresses, which reduced her to a compliance with the demands
+of all the Allies, and the mean manner in receding from those points to
+which her Minister had consented. The respective Ministers of each
+potentate of the Alliance severally expressed their resentment of the
+faithless behaviour of the French, and gave each other mutual assurances
+of the constancy and resolution of their principles to proceed with the
+utmost vigour against the common enemy. His Grace the Duke of
+Marlborough set out from the Hague on the 9th, in the afternoon, and lay
+that night at Rotterdam, from whence at four the next morning he
+proceeded towards Antwerp, with design to reach Ghent as on this day.
+All the troops in the Low Countries are in motion towards the general
+rendezvous between the Scheldt and Lis, and the whole army will be
+formed on the 12th instant; and it is said that on the 14th they will
+advance towards the enemy's country. In the meantime the Marshal de
+Villars has assembled the French army between Lens, la Bassée, and
+Douay.
+
+Yesterday morning Sir John Norris[266] with the squadron under his
+command, sailed from the Downs for Holland.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 3.
+
+I have the honour of the following letter from a gentleman whom I
+receive into my family, and order the heralds at arms to enroll him
+accordingly.
+
+"MR. BICKERSTAFF,
+
+"Though you have excluded me the honour of your family, yet I have
+ventured to correspond with the same great persons as yourself, and have
+wrote this post to the King of France; though I'm in a manner unknown
+in his country, and have not been seen there these many months.
+
+#"'To Lewis le Grand.#
+
+    "'Though in your country I'm unknown,
+      Yet, sir, I must advise you;
+    Of late so poor and mean you're grown,
+      That all the world despise you.
+
+    Here vermin eat your majesty,
+      There meagre subjects stand unfed;
+    What surer signs of poverty,
+      Than many lice, and little bread?
+
+    Then, sir, the present minute choose,
+      Our armies are advanced;
+    Those terms you at the Hague refuse,
+      At Paris won't be granted.
+
+    Consider this, and Dunkirk raze,
+      And Anna's title own;
+    Send one Pretender out to graze,
+      And call the other home.'
+
+"Your humble Servant,
+
+                                        "BREAD, THE STAFF OF LIFE."
+
+
+
+[Footnote 262: No. 21.]
+
+[Footnote 263: It would seem from the passage in the _Examiner_ (vol.
+iii. No. 48), that three men of distinction at that time, probably
+noblemen, were supposed to be denoted under the names of Hogshead,
+Culverin, and Musket, from Wapping; or, as they are named by the
+_Examiner_, "Tun, Gun, and Pistol, from Wapping." They are there
+mentioned among others, said to have been, "with at least fifty more,
+sufferers of figure under this author's satire, in the days of his
+mirth," &c. In the _Guardian_ (No. 53) Steele says, "Tun, Gun, and
+Pistol from Wapping, laughed at the representation which was made of
+them, and were observed to be more regular in their conduct
+afterwards."]
+
+[Footnote 264: The kept mistress of a knight of the shire near
+Brentford, who squandered his estate on women, and in contested
+elections. He has long since gone into the land of oblivion. See No.
+51.--(Nichols.)]
+
+[Footnote 265: Several such verses, inscribed on the glasses of the Kit
+Cat Club, are given in Nichols' "Select Collection of Poems," v.
+168-178.]
+
+[Footnote 266: Admiral Sir John Norris (died 1749) was sent in June
+1709, with a small squadron, to stop the French supply of corn from the
+Baltic.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 25. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, June 4_, to _Tuesday, June 7_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, June 6.
+
+A letter from a young lady, written in the most passionate terms
+(wherein she laments the misfortune of a gentleman, her lover, who was
+lately wounded in a duel), has turned my thoughts to that subject, and
+inclined me to examine into the causes which precipitate men into so
+fatal a folly.[267] And as it has been proposed to treat of subjects of
+gallantry in the article from hence, and no one point of nature is more
+proper to be considered by the company who frequent this place, than
+that of duels, it is worth our consideration to examine into this
+chimerical groundless humour, and to lay every other thought aside, till
+we have stripped it of all its false pretences to credit and reputation
+amongst men. But I must confess, when I consider what I am going about,
+and run over in my imagination all the endless crowd of men of honour
+who will be offended at such a discourse, I am undertaking, methinks, a
+work worthy an invulnerable hero in romance, rather than a private
+gentleman with a single rapier; but as I am pretty well acquainted by
+great opportunities with the nature of man, and know of a truth, that
+all men fight against their will, the danger vanishes, and resolution
+rises upon this subject. For this reason I shall talk very freely on a
+custom which all men wish exploded, though no man has courage enough to
+resist it. But there is one unintelligible word which I fear will
+extremely perplex my dissertation, and I confess to you I find very
+hard to explain, which is, the term "satisfaction." An honest country
+gentleman had the misfortune to fall into company with two or three
+modern men of honour, where he happened to be very ill-treated; and one
+of the company being conscious of his offence, sends a note to him in
+the morning, and tells him, he was ready to give him satisfaction. "This
+is fine doing," says the plain fellow: "last night he sent me away
+cursedly out of humour, and this morning he fancies it would be a
+satisfaction to be run through the body." As the matter at present
+stands, it is not to do handsome actions denominates a man of honour; it
+is enough if he dares to defend ill ones. Thus you often see a common
+sharper in competition with a gentleman of the first rank; though all
+mankind is convinced, that a fighting gamester is only a pickpocket with
+the courage of a highwayman. One cannot with any patience reflect on the
+unaccountable jumble of persons and things in this town and nation,
+which occasions very frequently, that a brave man falls by a hand below
+that of the common hangman, and yet his executioner escapes the clutches
+of the hangman for doing it. I shall therefore hereafter consider, how
+the bravest men in other ages and nations have behaved themselves upon
+such incidents as we decide by combat; and show, from their practice,
+that this resentment neither has its foundation from true reason, nor
+solid fame; but is an imposture,[268] made up of cowardice, falsehood,
+and want of understanding. For this work, a good history of quarrels
+would be very edifying to the public, and I apply myself to the town for
+particulars and circumstances within their knowledge, which may serve to
+embellish the dissertation with proper cuts. Most of the quarrels I have
+ever known, have proceeded from some valiant coxcomb's persisting in
+the wrong, to defend some prevailing folly, and preserve himself from
+the ingenuity of owning a mistake.[269]
+
+By this means it is called, "giving a man satisfaction," to urge your
+offence against him with your sword; which puts me in mind of Peter's
+order to the keeper, in the "Tale of a Tub": "If you neglect to do all
+this, damn you and your generation for ever; and so we bid you heartily
+farewell."[270] If the contradiction in the very terms of one of our
+challenges were as well explained, and turned into plain English, would
+it not run after this manner?
+
+"SIR,
+
+"Your extraordinary behaviour last night, and the liberty you were
+pleased to take with me, makes me this morning give you this, to tell
+you, because you are an ill-bred puppy, I will meet you in Hyde Park an
+hour hence; and because you want both breeding and humanity, I desire
+you would come with a pistol in your hand, on horseback, and endeavour
+to shoot me through the head; to teach you more manners. If you fail of
+doing me this pleasure, I shall say, you are a rascal on every post in
+town: and so, sir, if you will not injure me more, I shall never forgive
+what you have done already. Pray sir, do not fail of getting everything
+ready, and you will infinitely oblige,
+
+"Sir,
+
+"Your most obedient,
+
+"humble Servant, &c."
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 6.
+
+Among the many employments I am necessarily put upon by my friends, that
+of giving advice is the most unwelcome to me; and indeed, I am forced to
+use a little art in the matter; for some people will ask counsel of you,
+when they have already acted what they tell you is still under
+deliberation. I had almost lost a very good friend the other day, who
+came to know how I liked his design to marry such a lady. I answered,
+"By no means; and I must be positive against it, for very solid reasons,
+which are not proper to communicate." "Not proper to communicate!" said
+he with a grave air, "I will know the bottom of this." I saw him moved,
+and knew from thence he was already determined; therefore evaded it by
+saying, "To tell you the truth, dear Frank, of all women living, I would
+have her myself." "Isaac," said he, "thou art too late, for we have been
+both one these two months." I learned this caution by a gentleman's
+consulting me formerly about his son. He railed at his damned
+extravagance, and told me, in a very little time, he would beggar him by
+the exorbitant bills which came from Oxford every quarter. "Make the
+rogue bite upon the bridle,"[271] said I, "pay none of his bills, it
+will but encourage him to further trespasses." He looked plaguy sour at
+me. His son soon after sent up a paper of verses, forsooth, in print, on
+the last public occasion; upon which, he is convinced the boy has parts,
+and a lad of spirit is not to be too much cramped in his maintenance,
+lest he take ill courses. Neither father nor son can ever since endure
+the sight of me. These sort of people ask opinions, only out of the
+fulness of their heart on the subject of their perplexity, and not from
+a desire of information. There is nothing so easy as to find out which
+opinion the person in doubt has a mind to; therefore the sure way is to
+tell him, that is certainly to be chosen. Then you are to be very clear
+and positive; leave no handle for scruple. "Bless me! sir, there is no
+room for a question." This rivets you into his heart; for you at once
+applaud his wisdom, and gratify his inclination. However, I had too much
+bowels to be insincere to a man who came yesterday to know of me, with
+which of two eminent men in the City he should place his son? Their
+names are Paulo and Avaro.[272] This gave me much debate with myself,
+because not only the fortune of the youth, but his virtue also depended
+upon this choice. The men are equally wealthy; but they differ in the
+use and application of their riches, which you immediately see upon
+entering their doors.
+
+The habitation of Paulo has at once the air of a nobleman and a
+merchant. You see the servants act with affection to their master, and
+satisfaction in themselves: the master meets you with an open
+countenance, full of benevolence and integrity: your business is
+despatched with that confidence and welcome which always accompanies
+honest minds: his table is the image of plenty and generosity, supported
+by justice and frugality. After we had dined here, our affair was to
+visit Avaro: out comes an awkward fellow with a careful countenance;
+"Sir, would you speak with my master? May I crave your name?" After the
+first preambles, he leads us into a noble solitude, a great house that
+seemed uninhabited; but from the end of the spacious hall moves towards
+us Avaro, with a suspicious aspect, as if he believed us thieves; and as
+for my part, I approached him as if I knew him a cut-purse. We fell
+into discourse of his noble dwelling, and the great estate all the world
+knew he had to enjoy in it: and I, to plague him, fell a commending
+Paulo's way of living. "Paulo," answered Avaro, "is a very good man; but
+we who have smaller estates, must cut our coat according to our cloth."
+"Nay," says I, "every man knows his own circumstance best; you are in
+the right, if you haven't wherewithal." He looked very sour (for it is,
+you must know, the utmost vanity of a mean-spirited rich man to be
+contradicted, when he calls himself poor). But I was resolved to vex
+him, by consenting to all he said; the main design of which was, that he
+would have us find out, he was one of the wealthiest men in London, and
+lived like a beggar. We left him, and took a turn on the 'Change. My
+friend was ravished with Avaro. "This," said he, "is certainly a sure
+man." I contradicted him with much warmth, and summed up their different
+characters as well as I could. "This Paulo," said I, "grows wealthy by
+being a common good; Avaro, by being a general evil: Paulo has the art,
+Avaro the craft of trade. When Paulo gains, all men he deals with are
+the better: whenever Avaro profits, another certainly loses. In a word,
+Paulo is a citizen, and Avaro a cit." I convinced my friend, and carried
+the young gentleman the next day to Paulo, where he will learn the way
+both to gain, and enjoy a good fortune. And though I cannot say, I have,
+by keeping him from Avaro, saved him from the gallows, I have prevented
+his deserving it every day he lives: for with Paulo he will be an honest
+man, without being so for fear of the law; as with Avaro, he would have
+been a villain within the protection of it.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 6.
+
+We hear from Vienna of the 1st instant, that Baron Imoff, who attended
+her Catholic Majesty with the character of Envoy from the Duke of
+Wolfembuttel, was returned thither. That Minister brought an account,
+that Major-general Stanhope, with the troops which embarked at Naples,
+was returned to Barcelona. We hear from Berlin, by advices of the 8th
+instant, that his Prussian Majesty had received intelligence from his
+Minister at Dresden, that the King of Denmark desired to meet his
+Majesty at Magdeburg. The King of Prussia has sent answer, that his
+present indisposition will not admit of so great a journey; but has sent
+the king a very pressing invitation to come to Berlin or Potsdam. These
+advices say, that the Minister of the King of Sweden has produced a
+letter from his master to the King of Poland, dated from Batitzau the
+30th of March, O.S., wherein he acquaints him, that he has been
+successful against the Muscovites in all the occasions which have
+happened since his march into their country. Great numbers have revolted
+to the Swedes since General Mazeppa went over to that side; and as many
+as have done so, have taken solemn oaths to adhere to the interests of
+his Swedish Majesty.
+
+Advices from the Hague of the 14th instant, N.S., say, that all things
+tended to a vigorous and active campaign; the Allies having strong
+resentments against the late behaviour of the Court of France; and the
+French using all possible endeavours to animate their men to defend
+their country against a victorious and exasperated enemy. Monsieur
+Rouillé had passed through Brussels without visiting either the Duke of
+Marlborough or Prince Eugene, who were both there at that time. The
+States have met, and publicly declared their satisfaction in the
+conduct of their deputies during the whole treaty. Letters from France
+say, that the Court is resolved to put all to the issue of the ensuing
+campaign. In the meantime, they have ordered the preliminary treaty to
+be published, with observation upon each article, in order to quiet the
+minds of the people, and persuade them, that it has not been in the
+power of the king to procure a peace, but to the diminution of his
+Majesty's glory, and the hazard of his dominions. His Grace the Duke of
+Marlborough and Prince Eugene arrived at Ghent on Wednesday last, where,
+at an assembly of all the general officers, it was thought proper, by
+reason of the great rains which have lately fallen, to defer forming a
+camp, or bringing the troops together; but as soon as the weather would
+permit, to march upon the enemy with all expedition.[273]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 267: For Steele's other papers on duelling, see Nos. 26, 28,
+29, 31, 38, 39.]
+
+[Footnote 268: Something imposed upon us.]
+
+[Footnote 269: "While this barbarous custom of duelling is tolerated, we
+shall never be rid of coxcombs, who will defend their understandings by
+the sword, and force us to bear nonsense on pain of death."--(Steele,
+_Theatre_, No. 26.)]
+
+[Footnote 270: Swift's "Tale of a Tub," sect. 4.]
+
+[Footnote 271: _I.e._, hold him in.]
+
+[Footnote 272: Said to be Bateman and Heathcote, both eminent
+citizens--(_Gentleman's Magazine_, lx. 679.)]
+
+[Footnote 273: "Mr. Bickerstaff has received a letter, dated June 6,
+with the just exceptions against the pretence of persons therein
+mentioned, to the name of Pretty Fellows, which shall be taken notice of
+accordingly: as likewise, the letter from Anthony Longtail of
+Canterbury, concerning the death of Thomas à Becket" (folio). See Nos.
+24, 26.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 26. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, June 7_, to _Thursday, June 9_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 8.
+
+I have read the following letter with delight and approbation, and I
+hereby order Mr. Kidney at St. James's, and Sir Thomas at White's[274]
+(who are my clerks for enrolling all men in their distant classes,
+before they presume to drink tea or chocolate in those places), to take
+care, that the persons within the descriptions in the letter be
+admitted, and excluded according to my friend's remonstrance.[275]
+
+"_To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq.; at Mr. Morphew's near Stationers' Hall._
+
+"_June 6_, 1709.
+
+"SIR,
+
+"Your paper of Saturday[276] has raised up in me a noble emulation, to
+be recorded in the foremost rank of worthies therein mentioned; and if
+any regard be had to merit or industry, I may hope to succeed in the
+promotion, for I have omitted no toil or expense to be a proficient; and
+if my friends do not flatter, they assure me, I have not lost my time
+since I came to town. To enumerate but a few particulars; there's hardly
+a coachman I meet with, but desires to be excused taking me, because he
+has had me before. I have compounded two or three rapes; and let out to
+hire as many bastards to beggars. I never saw above the first act of a
+play: and as to my courage, it is well known, I have more than once had
+sufficient witnesses of my drawing my sword both in tavern and
+playhouse. Dr. Wall[277] is my particular friend; and if it were any
+service to the public to compose the difference between Marten and
+Sintilaer[278] the pearl-driller, I don't know a judge of more
+experience than myself: for in that I may say with the poet,
+
+    "'_Quæ regio in villa nostri non plena laboris?_'[279]
+
+"I omit other less particulars, the necessary consequences of greater
+actions. But my reason for troubling you at this present is, to put a
+stop, if it may be, to an insinuating, increasing set of people, who
+sticking to the letter of your treatise, and not to the spirit of it, do
+assume the name of 'pretty fellows'; nay, and even get new names, as you
+very well hint. Some of them I have heard calling to one another, as I
+have sat at White's and St. James's, by the names of Betty, Nelly, and
+so forth. You see them accost each other with effeminate airs: they have
+their signs and tokens like freemasons: they rail at women-kind; receive
+visits on their beds in gowns, and do a thousand other unintelligible
+prettinesses that I cannot tell what to make of. I therefore heartily
+desire you would exclude all this sort of animals.
+
+"There is another matter I am foreseeing an ill consequence from, but
+may be timely prevented by prudence; which is, that for the last
+fortnight, prodigious shoals of volunteers have gone over to bully the
+French, upon hearing the peace was just signing; and this is so true,
+that I can assure you, all engrossing work about the Temple is risen
+above 3_s_. in the pound for want of hands. Now as it is possible some
+little alteration of affairs may have broken their measures, and that
+they will post back again, I am under the last apprehension, that these
+will, at their return, all set up for 'pretty fellows,' and thereby
+confound all merit and service, and impose on us some new alteration in
+our nightcap-wigs[280] and pockets, unless you can provide a particular
+class for them. I cannot apply myself better than to you, and I am sure
+I speak the mind of a very great number as deserving as myself."
+
+The pretensions of this correspondent are worthy a particular
+distinction: he cannot indeed be admitted as a "pretty," but is, what we
+more justly call, a "smart fellow." Never to pay at the playhouse, is an
+act of frugality, that lets you into his character. And his expedient in
+sending his children a-begging before they can go, are characteristical
+instances that he belongs to this class. I never saw the gentleman; but
+I know by his letter, he hangs his cane on his button;[281] and by some
+lines of it, he should wear red-heeled shoes;[282] which are essential
+parts of the habit belonging to the order of "smart fellows."
+
+My familiar is returned with the following letter from the French king:
+
+"Versailles, _June 13_, 1709.
+
+#"_Louis XIV. to Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq._[283]#
+
+"SIR,
+
+"I have your epistle, and must take the liberty to say, that there has
+been a time, when there were generous spirits in Great Britain, who
+would not have suffered my name to be treated with the familiarity you
+think fit to use. I thought liberal men would not be such time-servers,
+as to fall upon a man because his friends are not in power. But having
+some concern for what you may transmit to posterity concerning me, I am
+willing to keep terms with you, and make a request to you, which is,
+that you would give my service to the nineteenth century (if ever you or
+yours reach to them), and tell them, that I have settled all matters
+between them and me by Monsieur Boileau. I should be glad to see you
+here."
+
+It is very odd this prince should offer to invite me into his dominions,
+or believe I should accept the invitation. No, no, I remember too well
+how he served an ingenious gentleman, a friend of mine,[284] whom he
+locked up in the Bastille for no reason in the world, but because he was
+a wit, and feared he might mention him with justice in some of his
+writings. His way is, that all men of sense are preferred, banished, or
+imprisoned. He has indeed a sort of justice in him, like that of the
+gamesters; if a stander-by sees one at play cheat, he has a right to
+come in for snares, for knowing the mysteries of the game. This is a
+very wise and just maxim; and if I have not left at Mr. Morphew's,
+directed to me, bank bills for £200 on or before this day sevennight, I
+shall tell how Tom Cash got his estate. I expect three hundred pounds of
+Mr. Soilett, for concealing all the money he has lent to himself, and
+his landed friend bound with him, at thirty per cent. at his
+scrivener's. Absolute princes make people pay what they please in
+deference to their power: I do not know why I should not do the same,
+out of fear or respect to my knowledge. I always preserve decorums and
+civilities to the fair sex: therefore if a certain lady, who left her
+coach at the New Exchange[285] door in the Strand, and whipped down
+Durham Yard into a boat with a young gentleman for Fox Hall;[286] I say,
+if she will send me word, that I may give the fan which she dropped, and
+I found, to my sister Jenny, there shall be no more said of it. I expect
+hush-money to be regularly sent for every folly or vice any one commits
+in this whole town; and hope I may pretend to deserve it better than a
+chamber-maid, or _valet-de-chambre_: they only whisper it to the little
+set of their companions; but I can tell it to all men living, or who are
+to live. Therefore I desire all my readers to pay their fines, or mend
+their lives.
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, June 8.
+
+My familiar being come from France, with an answer to my letter to Lewis
+of that kingdom, instead of going on in a discourse of what he had seen
+in that Court, he put on the immediate concern of a guardian, and fell
+to inquiring into my thoughts and adventures since his journey. As short
+as his stay had been, I confessed I had had many occasions for his
+assistance in my conduct; but communicated to him my thoughts of putting
+all my force against the horrid and senseless custom of duels. "If it
+were possible," said he, "to laugh at things in themselves so deeply
+tragical as the impertinent profusion of human life, I think I could
+divert you with a figure I saw just after my death, when the philosopher
+threw me, as I told you some days ago, into the pail of water.[287] You
+are to know, that when men leave the body, there are receptacles for
+them as soon as they depart, according to the manner in which they lived
+and died. At the very instant that I was killed, there came away with me
+a spirit which had lost its body in a duel. We were both examined. Me,
+the whole assembly looked at with kindness and pity, but at the same
+time with an air of welcome, and consolation: they pronounced me very
+happy, who had died in innocence; and told me, a quite different place
+was allotted to me, than that which was appointed for my companion;
+there being a great distance from the mansions of fools and innocents:
+'though at the same time,' said one of the ghosts, there is a great
+affinity between an idiot who has been so for long life, and a child who
+departs before maturity. But this gentleman who has arrived with you is
+a fool of his own making, is ignorant out of choice, and will fare
+accordingly.' The assembly began to flock about him, and one said to
+him, 'Sir, I observed you came into the gate of persons murdered, and I
+desire to know what brought you to your untimely end?' He said, he had
+been a second. Socrates (who may be said to have been murdered by the
+commonwealth of Athens) stood by, and began to draw near him, in order,
+after his manner, to lead him into a sense of his error by concessions
+in his own discourse. 'Sir,' said that divine and amicable spirit, 'what
+was the quarrel?' He answered, 'We shall know very suddenly, when the
+principal in the business comes, for he was desperately wounded before I
+fell.' 'Sir,' said the sage, 'had you an estate?' 'Yes, sir,' the new
+guest answered, 'I have left it in a very good condition; I made my will
+the night before this occasion.' 'Did you read it before you signed it?'
+'Yes sure, sir,' said the newcomer. Socrates replies, could a man that
+would not give his estate without reading the instrument, dispose of his
+life without asking a question? That illustrious shade turned from him,
+and a crowd of impertinent goblins, who had been drolls and parasites in
+their lifetime, and were knocked on the head for their sauciness, came
+about my fellow-traveller, and made themselves very merry with questions
+about the words 'carte' and 'terce' and other terms of fencers. But his
+thoughts began to settle into reflection upon the adventure which had
+robbed him of his late being; and with a wretched sigh, said he, 'How
+terrible are conviction and guilt when they come too late for
+penitence!'" Pacolet was going on in this strain, but he recovered from
+it, and told me, it was too soon to give my discourse on this subject so
+serious a turn; you have chiefly to do with that part of mankind which
+must be led into reflection by degrees, and you must treat this custom
+with humour and raillery to get an audience, before you come to
+pronounce sentence upon it. There is foundation enough for raising such
+entertainments from the practice on this occasion. Don't you know, that
+often a man is called out of bed to follow implicitly a coxcomb (with
+whom he would not keep company on any other occasion) to ruin and death?
+Then a good list of such as are qualified by the laws of these
+uncourteous men of chivalry to enter into combat (who are often persons
+of honour without common honesty): these, I say, ranged and drawn up in
+their proper order, would give an aversion to doing anything in common
+with such as men laugh at and contemn. But to go through this work, you
+must not let your thoughts vary, or make excursions from your theme:
+consider at the same time, that the matter has been often treated by the
+ablest and greatest writers; yet that must not discourage you; for the
+properest person to handle it, is one who has roved into mixed
+conversations, and must have opportunities (which I shall give you) of
+seeing these sort of men in their pleasures and gratifications; among
+which, they pretend to reckon fighting. It was pleasantly enough said of
+a bully in France, when duels first began to be punished: "The king has
+taken away gaming, and stage-playing, and now fighting too; how does he
+expect gentlemen shall divert themselves?"[288]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 274: See Nos. 1, 10, 16.]
+
+[Footnote 275: This letter is probably by Anthony Henley; see
+advertisement at end of No. 25. At this time Henley was M.P. for
+Weymouth, and a friend of the wits belonging to the Whig party. He died
+in 1711. See Nos. 11, 193.]
+
+[Footnote 276: No. 21.]
+
+[Footnote 277: Wall and the others named were quack doctors.]
+
+[Footnote 278: Sintelaer, who lived in High Holborn, published in Feb.
+1709, "The Scourge of Venus and Mercury. With an appendix in answer to
+Mr. John Marten's reflections thereupon" (_Postman_, Feb. 24 to 26,
+1709).]
+
+[Footnote 279: "Æneid," i. 460. Steele alters Virgil's "terriss" to
+"villa."]
+
+[Footnote 280: A sort of periwig, with a short tie and small round head.
+See No. 30, end. In the _Spectator_ (No. 319), Dorinda describes a
+humble servant of hers who "appeared to me in one of those wigs that I
+think you call a 'night-cap,' which had altered him more effectually
+than before. He afterwards played a couple of black riding wigs upon me,
+with the same success."]
+
+[Footnote 281: The elaborate canes used by the beaux commonly had a
+ribbon to enable them to be hung on the button of the waistcoat. Thus we
+find among the advertisements for lost canes, "A cane with a silver head
+and a black ribbon in it, the top of it amber, part of the head to turn
+round, and in it a perspective glass."]
+
+[Footnote 282: Men of fashion wore very high-heeled shoes, and their red
+heels are often satirised by Steele and Addison (cf. _Spectator_, No.
+311). In No. 16 of the _Spectator_ Addison said, "It is not my intention
+to sink the dignity of this my paper with reflections upon red-heels or
+topknots."]
+
+[Footnote 283: See Nos. 19, 23.]
+
+[Footnote 284: Probably Sir John Vanbrugh.]
+
+[Footnote 285: A bazaar on the south side of the Strand, between George
+Court and Durham Street, and opposite Bedford Street. There were two
+long and double galleries, one above the other, containing shops, with
+pretty attendants. The New Exchange was a favourite lounge, and is
+frequently mentioned in the Restoration literature; it was pulled down
+in 1737. See _Spectator_, Nos. 96, 155, and Steele's "Lying Lover," act
+ii. sc. 2, where Young Bookwit says, "My choice was so distracted among
+the pretty merchants and their dealers, that I knew not where to run
+first." On the other hand, we find complaints that young fops hindered
+business by lolling on the counter an hour longer than was necessary,
+and annoyed the young women who served them with ingenious ribaldry.]
+
+[Footnote 286: Vauxhall, or Fox-hall, Gardens were formed about 1661, on
+the Surrey side of the Thames, and were at first called the New Spring
+Gardens, to distinguish them from the Old Spring Gardens at Charing
+Cross. At the end of the seventeenth century Vauxhall was a favourite
+place for assignations, and Pepys was scandalised at scenes he there
+witnessed. The gardens were reopened in 1732, after being closed, it
+would seem, for some years, and they continued to be a place of
+fashionable resort until the end of the reign of George III.]
+
+[Footnote 287: See No. 15.]
+
+[Footnote 288: "Whereas several gentlemen have desired this paper with a
+blank leaf to write business on, and for the convenience of the post;
+this is to give notice, that this day, and for the future, it may be had
+of Mr. Morphew, near Stationers' Hall" (folio, advertisement).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 27. [STEELE.
+
+From _Thursday, June 9_, to _Saturday, June 11, 1709_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, June 9.
+
+Pacolet being gone a strolling among the men of the sword, in order to
+find out the secret causes of the frequent disputes we meet with, and
+furnish me with material for my treatise on duelling; I have room left
+to go on in my information to my country readers, whereby they may
+understand the bright people whose memoirs I have taken upon me to
+write. But in my discourse of the 28th of the last month,[289] I omitted
+to mention the most agreeable of all bad characters; and that is, a
+Rake.
+
+A Rake is a man always to be pitied; and if he lives, is one day
+certainly reclaimed; for his faults proceed not from choice or
+inclination, but from strong passions and appetites, which are in youth
+too violent for the curb of reason, good sense, good manners, and good
+nature: all which he must have by nature and education, before he can be
+allowed to be, or have been of this order. He is a poor unwieldy wretch,
+that commits faults out of the redundance of his good qualities. His
+pity and compassion make him sometimes a bubble to all his fellows, let
+them be never so much below him in understanding. His desires run away
+with him through the strength and force of a lively imagination, which
+hurries him on to unlawful pleasures, before reason has power to come in
+to his rescue. Thus, with all the good intentions in the world to
+amendment, this creature sins on against heaven, himself, his friends,
+and his country, who all call for a better use of his talents. There is
+not a being under the sun so miserable as this: he goes on in a pursuit
+he himself disapproves, and has no enjoyment but what is followed by
+remorse; no relief from remorse, but the repetition of his crime. It is
+possible I may talk of this person with too much indulgence; but I must
+repeat it, that I think this a character which is the most the object of
+pity of any in the world. The man in the pangs of the stone, gout, or
+any acute distempers, is not in so deplorable a condition in the eye of
+right sense, as he that errs and repents, and repents and errs on. The
+fellow with broken limbs justly deserves your alms for his impotent
+condition; but he that cannot use his own reason, is in a much worse
+state; for you see him in miserable circumstances, with his remedy at
+the same time in his own possession, if he would or could use it. This
+is the cause, that of all ill characters, the rake has the best quarter
+in the world; for when he is himself, and unruffled with intemperance,
+you see his natural faculties exert themselves, and attract an eye of
+favour towards his infirmities. But if we look round us here, how many
+dull rogues are there, that would fain be what this poor man hates
+himself for? All the noise towards six in the evening,[290] is caused by
+his mimics and imitators. How ought men of sense to be careful of their
+actions, if it were merely from the indignation of feeling themselves
+ill drawn by such little pretenders? not to say, he that leads, is
+guilty of all the actions of his followers: and a rake has imitators
+whom you would never expect should prove so. Second-hand vice sure of
+all is the most nauseous. There is hardly a folly more absurd, or which
+seems less to be accounted for (though it is what we see every day) than
+that grave and honest natures give into this way, and at the same time
+have good sense, if they thought fit to use it: but the fatality (under
+which most men labour) of desiring to be what they are not, makes them
+go out of a method, in which they might be received with applause, and
+would certainly excel, into one, wherein they will all their life have
+the air of strangers to what they aim at. For this reason, I have not
+lamented the metamorphosis of any one I know so much as of Nobilis, who
+was born with sweetness of temper, just apprehension, and everything
+else that might make him a man fit for his order. But instead of the
+pursuit of sober studies and applications, in which he would certainly
+be capable of making a considerable figure in the noblest assembly of
+men in the world; I say, in spite of that good nature, which is his
+proper bent, he will say ill-natured things aloud, put such as he was,
+and still should be, out of countenance, and drown all the natural good
+in him, to receive an artificial ill character, in which he will never
+succeed: for Nobilis is no rake. He may guzzle as much wine as he
+pleases, talk bawdy if he thinks fit; but he may as well drink
+water-gruel, and go twice a day to church, for it will never do. I
+pronounce it again, Nobilis is no rake. To be of that order, he must be
+vicious against his will, and not so by study or application. All Pretty
+Fellows are also excluded to a man, as well as all Inamaratos, or
+persons of the epicene gender, who gaze at one another in the presence
+of ladies. This class, of which I am giving you an account, is pretended
+to also by men of strong abilities in drinking; though they are such
+whom the liquor, not the conversation, keeps together. But blockheads
+may roar, fight, and stab, and be never the nearer; their labour is also
+lost; they want sense: they are no rakes.
+
+As a rake among men is the man who lives in the constant abuse of his
+reason, so a coquette among women is one who lives in continual
+misapplication of her beauty. The chief of all whom I have the honour to
+be acquainted with, is pretty Mrs. Toss: she is ever in practice of
+something which disfigures her, and takes from her charms; though all
+she does, tends to a contrary effect. She has naturally a very agreeable
+voice and utterance, which she has changed for the prettiest lisp
+imaginable. She sees what she has a mind to see, at half a mile distance;
+but poring with her eyes half shut at every one she passes by, she
+believes much more becoming. The Cupid on her fan and she have their eyes
+full on each other, all the time in which they are not both in motion.
+Whenever her eye is turned from that dear object, you may have a glance,
+and your bow, if she is in humour, returned as civilly as you make it;
+but that must not be in the presence of a man of greater quality: for
+Mrs. Toss is so thoroughly well bred, that the chief person present has
+all her regards. And she, who giggles at divine service, and laughs at
+her very mother, can compose herself at the approach of a man of a good
+estate.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, June 9.
+
+A fine lady showed a gentleman of this company, for an eternal answer to
+all his addresses, a paper of verses, with which she is so captivated,
+that she professed, the author should be the happy man in spite of all
+other pretenders. It is ordinary for love to make men poetical, and it
+had that effect on this enamoured man: but he was resolved to try his
+vein upon some of her confidantes or retinue, before he ventured upon so
+high a theme as herself. To do otherwise than so, would be like making
+an heroic poem a man's first attempt. Among the favourites to the fair
+one, he found her parrot not to be in the last degree: he saw Poll had
+her ear, when his sighs were neglected. To write against him, had been a
+fruitless labour; therefore he resolved to flatter him into his
+interests, in the following manner:
+
+#"To a Lady on her Parrot.#
+
+    _"When nymphs were coy, and love could not prevail,
+    The gods disguised were seldom known to fail,
+    Leda was chaste, but yet a feathered Jove
+    Surprised the fair, and taught her how to love.
+    There's no celestial but his heaven would quit,
+    For any form which might to thee admit.
+    See how the wanton bird, at every glance,
+    Swells his glad plumes, and feels an amorous trance.
+    The queen of beauty has forsook the dove,
+    Henceforth the parrot be the bird of love."_
+
+It is indeed a very just proposition, to give that honour rather to the
+parrot than the other volatile. The parrot represents us in the state of
+making love: the dove in the possession of the object beloved. But
+instead of turning the dove off, I fancy it would be better if the
+chaise of Venus had hereafter a parrot added (as we see sometimes a
+third horse to a coach) which might intimate, that to be a parrot, is
+the only way to succeed; and to be a dove, to preserve your conquests.
+If the swain would go on successfully, he must imitate the bird he
+writes upon. For he who would be loved by women, must never be silent
+before the favour, or open his lips after it.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 10.
+
+I have so many messages from young gentlemen who expect preferment and
+distinction, that I am wholly at a loss in what manner to acquit myself.
+The writer of the following letter tells me in a postscript, he cannot
+go out of town till I have taken some notice of him, and is very urgent
+to be somebody, in town before he leaves it, and returns to his commons
+at the university. But take it from himself.
+
+#"_To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq., Monitor-General of Great Britain._#
+
+"Shire Lane, _June 8._
+
+I have been above six months from the university, of age these three
+months, and so long in town. I was recommended to one Charles
+Bubbleboy[291] near the Temple, who has supplied me with all the
+furniture he says a gentleman ought to have. I desired a certificate
+thereof from him, which he said would require some time to consider of;
+and when I went yesterday morning for it, he tells me, upon due
+consideration, I still want some few odd things more, to the value of
+threescore or fourscore pounds, to make me complete. I have bespoke
+them; and the favour I beg of you is, to know, when I am equipped, in
+what part or class of men in this town you will place me. Pray send me
+word what I am, and you shall find me,
+
+"Sir,
+
+"Your most humble Servant,
+
+                                        "JEFFRY NICKNACK."
+
+I am very willing to encourage young beginners; but am extremely in the
+dark how to dispose of this gentleman. I cannot see either his person or
+habit in this letter; but I'll call at Charles', and know the shape of
+his snuff-box, by which I can settle his character. Though indeed, to
+know his full capacity, I ought to be informed, whether he takes Spanish
+or musty.[292]
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 10.
+
+Letters from the Low Countries of the 17th instant say, that the Duke of
+Marlborough and the Prince of Savoy intended to leave Ghent on that day,
+and join the army, which lies between Pont d'Espiere and Courtray, their
+headquarters being at Helchin. The same day the Palatine foot was
+expected at Brussels. Lieutenant-General Dompre, with a body of eight
+thousand men, is posted at Alost, in order to cover Ghent and Brussels.
+The Marshal de Villars was still on the plains of Lens; and it is said,
+the Duke of Vendôme is appointed to command in conjunction with that
+general. Advices from Paris say, Monsieur Voisin is made Secretary of
+State, upon Monsieur Chamillard's resignation of that employment. The
+want of money in that kingdom is so great, that the Court has thought
+fit to command all the plate of private families to be brought into the
+Mint. They write from the Hague of the 18th, that the States of Holland
+continue their session; and that they have approved the resolution of
+the States-General, to publish a second edict to prohibit the sale of
+corn to the enemy. Many eminent persons in that assembly have declared,
+that they are of opinion, that all commerce whatsoever with France
+should be wholly forbidden: which point is under present deliberation;
+but it is feared it will meet with powerful opposition.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 289: No. 21.]
+
+[Footnote 290: People of fashion dined at about four o'clock in Queen
+Anne's time, and by six the men, who had often drunk a good deal of
+wine, would be finding their way to the clubs and coffee-houses.]
+
+[Footnote 291: Charles Mather, a toyman in Fleet Street, next door to
+Nandoe's Coffee-house, over against Chancery Lane. Swift wrote ("Sid
+Hamet's Rod," 1710):
+
+    "No hobby horse with gorgeous top,
+    The dearest in Charles Mather's shop;
+    Or glittering tinsel of Mayfair
+    Could with the rod of Sid compare."
+
+See Nos. 113, 142, and _Spectator_, Nos. 328, 503 ("One of Charles
+Mather's fine tablets"), and 570 ("The famous Charles Mather was bred up
+under him").]
+
+[Footnote 292: Charles Lillie, the perfumer, tells us how snuff came
+into use. A great quantity of musty snuff was captured in the Spanish
+fleet taken at Vigo in 1702, and snuff with this special musty flavour
+became the fashion. In No. 138 of the _Spectator_, Steele humorously
+announced that "the exercise of the snuff-box, according to the most
+fashionable airs and motions, in opposition to the exercise of the fair,
+will be taught with the best plain or perfumed snuff at Charles
+Lillie's, perfumer, at the corner of Beaufort Buildings in the Strand."]
+
+
+
+
+No. 28. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, June 11_, to _Tuesday, June 14, 1709._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, June 13.
+
+I had suspended the business of duelling to a distant time, but that I
+am called upon to declare myself on a point proposed in the following
+letter.
+
+                                        "_June 9, at night._
+
+"Sir,
+
+"I desire the favour of you to decide this question, whether calling a
+gentleman a 'smart fellow' is an affront or not? A youth entering a
+certain coffee-house, with his cane tied at his button, wearing
+red-heeled shoes, I thought of your description,[293] and could not
+forbear telling a friend of mine next to me, 'There enters a smart
+fellow.' The gentleman hearing it, had immediately a mind to pick a
+quarrel with me, and desired satisfaction: at which I was more puzzled
+than at the other, remembering what mention your familiar makes of those
+that had lost their lives on such occasions. The thing is referred to
+your judgment, and I expect you to be my second, since you have been the
+cause of our quarrel. I am,
+
+"Sir,
+
+"Your Friend and humble Servant."
+
+I absolutely pronounce, that there is no occasion of offence given in
+this expression; for a "smart fellow" is always an appellation of
+praise, and is a man of double capacity. The true cast or mould in which
+you may be sure to know him is, when his livelihood or education is in
+the Civil List, and you see him express a vivacity or mettle above the
+way he is in by a little jerk in his motion, short trip in his steps,
+well-fancied lining of his coat, or any other indications which may be
+given in a vigorous dress. Now, what possible insinuation can there be,
+that it is a cause of quarrel for a man to say, he allows a gentleman
+really to be, what he, his tailor, his hosier, and his milliner, have
+conspired to make him? I confess, if this person who appeals to me had
+said, he was _not_ a "smart fellow," there had been cause for
+resentment; but if he stands to it that he is one, he leaves no manner
+of ground for a misunderstanding. Indeed, it is a most lamentable thing,
+that there should be a dispute raised upon a man's saying another is,
+what he plainly takes pains to be thought. But this point cannot be so
+well adjusted, as by inquiring what are the sentiments of wise nations
+and communities of the use of the sword, and from thence conclude,
+whether it is honourable to draw it so frequently or not? An illustrious
+commonwealth of Italy[294] has preserved itself for many ages, without
+letting one of their subjects handle this destructive instrument, always
+leaving that work to such of mankind as understand the use of a whole
+skin so little, as to make a profession of exposing it to cuts and
+scars. But what need we run to such foreign instances: our own ancient
+and well-governed cities are conspicuous examples to all mankind in
+their regulation of military achievements. The chief citizens, like the
+noble Italians, hire mercenaries to carry arms in their stead; and you
+shall have a fellow of a desperate fortune, for the gain of one
+half-crown, go through all the dangers of Tothill Fields, or the
+Artillery Ground,[295] clap his right jaw within two inches of the
+touch-hole of a musket, fire it off, and huzza, with as little concern
+as he tears a pullet. Thus you see to what scorn of danger these
+mercenaries arrive, out of a mere love of sordid gain: but methinks it
+should take off the strong prepossession men have in favour of bold
+actions, when they see upon what low motives men aspire to them. Do but
+observe the common practice in the government of those heroic bodies,
+our militia and lieutenancies, the most ancient corps of soldiers,
+perhaps, in the universe. I question whether there is one instance of an
+animosity between any two of these illustrious sons of Mars since their
+institution, which was decided by combat? I remember indeed to have read
+the chronicle of an accident which had like to have occasioned bloodshed
+in the very field before all the general officers, though most of them
+were justices of the peace: Captain Crabtree of Birching Lane,
+haberdasher, had drawn a bill upon Major-General Maggot, cheesemonger in
+Thames Street. Crabtree draws this upon Mr. William Maggot and Company.
+A country lad received this bill, and not understanding the word
+"company," used in drawing bills on men in partnership, carried it to
+Mr. Jeffry Stick of Crooked Lane (lieutenant of the major-general's
+company) whom he had the day before seen march by the door in all the
+pomp of his commission. The lieutenant accepts it, for the honour of the
+company, since it had come to him. But repayment being asked from the
+major-general, he absolutely refuses. Upon this, the lieutenant thinks
+of nothing less than to bring this to a rupture, and takes for his
+second, Tobias Armstrong of the Counter,[296] and sends him with a
+challenge in a script of parchment, wherein was written, "Stitch contra
+Maggot," and all the fury vanished in a moment. The major-general gives
+satisfaction to the second, and all was well. Hence it is, that the bold
+spirits of our city are kept in such subjection to the civil power.
+Otherwise, where would our liberties soon be? If wealth and valour were
+suffered to exert themselves with their utmost force: if such officers
+as are employed in the terrible bands above-mentioned, were to draw
+bills as well as swords: these dangerous captains, who could victual an
+army as well as lead it, would be too powerful for the State. But the
+point of honour justly gives way to that of gain; and by long and wise
+regulation, the richest is the bravest man. I have known a captain rise
+to a colonel in two days by the fall of stocks; and a major, my good
+friend, near the Monument, ascended to that honour by the fall of the
+price of spirits, and the rising of right Nantz. By this true sense of
+honour, that body of warriors are ever in good order and discipline,
+with their colours and coats all whole: as in other battalions (where
+their principles of action are less solid) you see the men of service
+look like spectres, with long sides, and lank cheeks. In this army, you
+may measure a man's services by his waist, and the most prominent belly
+is certainly the man who has been most upon action. Besides all this,
+there is another excellent remark to be made in the discipline of these
+troops. It being of absolute necessity that the people of England should
+see what they have for their money, and be eye-witnesses of the
+advantages they gain by it, all battles which are fought abroad are
+represented here. But since one side must be beaten, and the other
+conquer, which might create disputes, the eldest company is always to
+make the other run, and the younger retreats, according to the last news
+and best intelligence. I have myself seen Prince Eugene make Catinat fly
+from the back-side of Gray's Inn Lane to Hockley-in-the-Hole,[297] and
+not give over the pursuit, till obliged to leave the Bear Garden on the
+right, to avoid being borne down by fencers, wild bulls and monsters,
+too terrible for the encounter of any heroes, but such whose lives are
+their livelihood.
+
+We have here seen, that wise nations do not admit of fighting, even in
+the defence of their country, as a laudable action; and they live
+within the walls of our own city in great honour and reputation without
+it. It would be very necessary to understand, by what force of the
+climate, food, education, or employment, one man's sense is brought to
+differ so essentially from that of another; that one is ridiculous and
+contemptible for forbearing a thing which makes for his safety; and
+another applauded for consulting his ruin and destruction.
+
+It will therefore be necessary for us (to show our travelling) to
+examine this subject fully, and tell you how it comes to pass, that a
+man of honour in Spain, though you offend him never so gallantly, stabs
+you basely; in England, though you offend never so basely, challenges
+fairly: the former kills you out of revenge; the latter out of good
+breeding. But to probe the heart of a man in this particular to its
+utmost thoughts and recesses, I must wait for the return of Pacolet, who
+is now attending a gentleman lately in a duel, and sometimes visits the
+person by whose hand he received his wounds.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 13.
+
+Letters from Vienna of the 8th instant say, there has been a journal of
+the marches and actions of the King of Sweden, from the beginning of
+January to the 11th of April, N.S., communicated by the Swedish
+Ministers to that Court. These advices inform, that his Swedish Majesty
+entered the territories of Muscovy in February last with the main body
+of his army, in order to oblige the enemy to a general engagement; but
+that the Muscovites declining a battle, and a universal thaw having
+rendered the rivers unpassable, the king returned into Ukrania. There
+are mentioned several rencounters between considerable detachments of
+the Swedish and Russian armies. Marshal Heister intended to take his
+leave of the Court on the day after the date of these letters, and put
+himself at the head of the army in Hungary. The malcontents had
+attempted to send in a supply of provisions into Neuheusel; but their
+design was disappointed by the Germans.
+
+Advices from Berlin of the 15th instant, N.S., say, that his Danish
+Majesty having received an invitation from the King of Prussia to an
+interview, designed to come to Potsdam within few days; and that King
+Augustus resolved to accompany him thither. To avoid all difficulties in
+ceremony, the three kings, and all the company who shall have the honour
+to sit with them at table, are to draw lots, and take precedence
+accordingly.
+
+They write from Hamburg of the 18th instant, N.S., that some particular
+letters from Dantzic speak of a late action between the Swedes and
+Muscovites near Jaroslaw; but that engagement being mentioned from no
+other place, there is not much credit given to this intelligence.
+
+We hear from Brussels, by letters, dated the 20th, that on the 14th in
+the evening the Duke of Marlborough and Prince Eugene arrived at
+Courtray, with a design to proceed the day following to Lille, in the
+neighbourhood of which city the confederate army was to rendezvous the
+same day. Advices from Paris inform us, that the Marshal de Bezons is
+appointed to command in Dauphiné; and that the Duke of Berwick is set
+out for Spain, with a design to follow the fortunes of the Duke of
+Anjou, in case the French king should comply with the late demands of
+the Allies.
+
+The Court of France has sent a circular letter to all the governors of
+the provinces, to recommend to their consideration his Majesty's late
+conduct in the affair of peace. It is thought fit in that epistle, to
+condescend to a certain appeal to the people, whether it is consistent
+with the dignity of the crown, or the French name, to submit to the
+preliminaries demanded by the confederates? The letter dwells upon the
+unreasonableness of the Allies, in requiring, that his Majesty should
+assist in dethroning his grandson, and treats this particular in
+language more suitable to it, as it is a topic of oratory, than a real
+circumstance, on which the interests of nations, and reasons of State,
+which affect all Europe, are concerned.
+
+The close of this memorial seems to prepare the people to expect all
+events, attributing the confidence of the enemy to the goodness of their
+troops; but acknowledging, that his sole dependence is upon the
+intervention of Providence.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 293: See No. 26.]
+
+[Footnote 294: Venice, where mercenaries were employed for fighting
+purposes.]
+
+[Footnote 295: The City train-bands were often the subject of ridicule
+by the wits. See "Harleian Misc." i. 206, Cowper's "John Gilpin," and
+Nos. 38, 41. Tothill Fields, Westminster, and the Artillery Ground,
+Finsbury, were the usual exercising-grounds for the train-bands.]
+
+[Footnote 296: The Compter was a prison for the city of London, where
+debtors and others were confined.]
+
+[Footnote 297: Steele wrote at length in the _Spectator_ (No. 436) of a
+trial of skill in the noble art of self-defence at Hockley-in-the-Hole;
+and in No. 630 there is an allusion to the gladiators of
+Hockley-in-the-Hole. In the "Beggar's Opera," Mrs. Peachum says: "You
+should to Hockley-in-the-Hole and to Marybone, child, to learn valour;
+there are the schools that have bred so many brave men." As to the other
+sports at the Bear Garden, see No. 134, and Gay's "Trivia," ii. 407-12:
+
+    "When thro' the town, with slow and solemn air,
+    Led by the nostril, walks the muzzled bear;
+    Behind him moves, majestically dull,
+    The pride of Hockley-hole, the surly bull;
+    Learn hence the periods of the week to name:
+    Mondays and Thursdays are the days of game."
+
+There were seats, at half a crown and upwards, for the quality; the
+neighbourhood of the Bear Garden was infested by thieves. The following
+are specimens of the advertisements common about 1709: "At the
+Bear-garden, in Hockley in the Hole. A trial of skill, to be performed
+between two profound masters of the noble science of defence, on
+Wednesday next, the 13th of July, 1702, at two o'clock precisely. I
+George Gray, born in the city of Norwich, who has fought in most parts
+of the West Indies, viz., Jamaica, Barbadoes, and several other parts of
+the world, in all twenty-five times upon the stage, and was never yet
+worsted; and am now lately come to London, do invite James Harris to
+meet, and exercise at the following weapons, back-sword, sword and
+dagger, sword and buckler, single falchon, and case of falchons. I James
+Harris, master of the said noble science of defence, who formerly rid in
+the Horse-guards, and hath fought 110 prizes, and never left a stage to
+any man, will not fail (God willing) to meet this brave and bold
+inviter, at the time and place appointed, desiring sharp swords, and
+from him no favour. No person to be upon the stage, but the seconds.
+_Vivat Regina_."
+
+"At the Bear-garden in Hockley in the Hole, near Clerkenwell Green,
+1710. This is to give notice to all gentlemen, gamesters, and others,
+that on this present Monday is a match to be fought by two dogs, one
+from Newgate-market, against one from Honey-lane market, at a bull, for
+a guinea to be spent, five let-goes out of hand, which goes fairest and
+fastest in, wins all. Likewise, a green bull to be baited, which was
+never baited before; and a bull to be turned loose with fireworks all
+over him. Also a mad ass to be baited. With a variety of bull-baiting
+and bear-baiting, and a dog to be drawn up with fireworks. To begin
+exactly at three of the clock."]
+
+
+
+
+No. 29. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, June 14_, to _Thursday, June 16, 1709._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, June 14.
+
+Having a very solid respect for human nature, however it is distorted
+from its natural make, by affectation, humour, custom, misfortune, or
+vice, I do apply myself to my friends to help me in raising arguments
+for preserving it in all its individuals, as long as it is permitted. To
+one of my letters on this subject, I have received the following
+answer:[298]
+
+"SIR,
+
+"In answer to your question, why men of sense, virtue, and experience,
+are seen still to comply with that ridiculous custom of duelling, I must
+desire you to reflect, that custom has dished up in ruffs the wisest
+heads of our ancestors, and put the best of the present age into huge
+falbala periwigs.[299] Men of sense would not impose such encumbrances
+on themselves; but be glad they might show their faces decently in
+public upon easier terms. If then such men appear reasonably slaves to
+the fashion, in what regards the figure of their persons, we ought not
+to wonder, that they are at least so in what seems to touch their
+reputations. Besides, you can't be ignorant, that dress and chivalry
+have been always encouraged by the ladies, as the two principal branches
+of gallantry. It is to avoid being sneered at for his singularity, and
+from a desire to appear more agreeable to his mistress, that a wise,
+experienced, and polite man, complies with the dress commonly received,
+and is prevailed upon to violate his reason and principles, in hazarding
+his life and estate by a tilt, as well as suffering his pleasures to be
+constrained and soured by the constant apprehension of a quarrel. This
+is the more surprising, because men of the most delicate sense and
+principles have naturally in other cases a particular repugnance in
+accommodating themselves to the maxims of the world: but one may easily
+distinguish the man that is affected with beauty, and the reputation of
+a tilt, from him who complies with both, merely as they are imposed upon
+him by custom; for in the former you will remark an air of vanity and
+triumph; whereas when the latter appears in a long Duvillier full of
+powder, or has decided a quarrel by the sword, you may perceive in his
+face, that he appeals to custom for an excuse. I think it may not be
+improper to inquire into the genealogy of this chimerical monster,
+called a 'duel', which I take to be an illegitimate species of the
+ancient knight-errantry. By the laws of this whim, your heroic person,
+or man of gallantry, was indispensably obliged to starve in armour a
+certain number of years in the chase of monsters, encounter them at the
+peril of his life, and suffer great hardships, in order to gain the
+affection of the fair lady, and qualify himself for assuming the
+_belair_, that is, of a pretty fellow, or man of honour according to the
+fashion: but since the publishing of 'Don Quixote' and extinction of the
+race of dragons, which Suetonius says happened in that of Wantley,[300]
+the gallant and heroic spirits of these latter times have been under the
+necessity of creating new chimerical monsters to entertain themselves
+with, by way of single combats, as the only proofs they are able to give
+their own sex, and the ladies, that they are in all points men of nice
+honour. But to do justice to the ancient and real monsters, I must
+observe, that they never molested those who were not of a humour to hunt
+for them in the woods and deserts; whereas on the contrary, our modern
+monsters are so familiarly admitted and entertained in all the Courts
+and cities of Europe (except France) that one can scarce be in the most
+humanised society without risking one's life; the people of the best
+sort, and the fine gentlemen of the age, being so fond of them, that
+they seldom appear in any public place without one. I have some further
+considerations upon this subject, which, as you encourage me, shall be
+communicated to you, by, sir, a cousin but once removed from the best
+family of the Staffs, namely, "Sir,
+
+"Your humble Servant,
+
+"Kinsman and Friend,
+
+                                        "TIM SWITCH."
+
+It is certain, Mr. Switch has hit upon the true source of this evil; and
+that it proceeds only from the force of custom that we contradict
+ourselves in half the particulars and occurrences of life. But such a
+tyranny in love, which the fair impose upon us, is a little too severe,
+that we must demonstrate our affection for them by no certain proof but
+hatred to one another, or come at them (only as one does to an estate)
+by survivorship. This way of application to gain a lady's heart, is
+taking her as we do towns and castles, by distressing the place, and
+letting none come near them without our pass. Were such a lover once to
+write the truth of his heart, and let her know his whole thoughts, he
+would appear indeed to have a passion for her; but it would hardly be
+called love. The billet-doux would run to this purpose:
+
+"MADAM,
+
+"I have so tender a regard for you and your interests, that I'll knock
+any man in the head whom I observe to be of my mind, and like you. Mr.
+Truman the other day looked at you in so languishing a manner, that I am
+resolved to run him through to-morrow morning: this, I think, he
+deserves for his guilt in admiring you; than which I cannot have a
+greater reason for murdering him, except it be that you also approve
+him. Whoever says he dies for you, I will make his words good, for I
+will kill him. I am,
+
+"Madam,
+
+"Your most obedient,
+
+"Most humble Servant."
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 14.
+
+I am just come hither at ten at night, and have ever since six been in
+the most celebrated, though most nauseous, company in town: the two
+leaders of the society were a critic and a wit. These two gentlemen are
+great opponents upon all occasions, not discerning that they are the
+nearest each other in temper and talents of any two classes of men in
+the world; for to profess judgment, and to profess wit, both arise from
+the same failure, which is want of judgment. The poverty of the critic
+this way proceeds from the abuse of his faculty; that of the wit from
+the neglect of it. It is a particular observation I have always made,
+that of all mortals, a critic is the silliest; for by inuring himself
+to examine all things, whether they are of consequence or not, be never
+looks upon anything but with a design of passing sentence upon it; by
+which means, he is never a companion, but always a censor. This makes
+him earnest upon trifles; and dispute on the most indifferent occasions
+with vehemence. If he offers to speak or write, that talent which should
+approve the work of the other faculties, prevents their operation. He
+comes upon action in armour; but without weapons: he stands in safety;
+but can gain no glory. The wit on the other hand has been hurried so
+long away by imagination only, that judgment seems not to have ever been
+one of his natural faculties. This gentleman takes himself to be as much
+obliged to be merry, as the other to be grave. A thorough critic is a
+sort of Puritan in the polite world. As an enthusiast in religion
+stumbles at the ordinary occurrences of life, if he cannot quote
+scripture examples on the occasion; so the critic is never safe in his
+speech or writing, without he has among the celebrated writers an
+authority for the truth of his sentence. You will believe we had a very
+good time with these brethren, who were so far out of the dress of their
+native country, and so lost to its dialect, that they were as much
+strangers to themselves, as to their relation to each other. They took
+up the whole discourse; sometimes the critic grew passionate, and when
+reprimanded by the wit for any trip or hesitation in his voice, he would
+answer, Mr. Dryden makes such a character on such an occasion break off
+in the same manner; so that the stop was according to nature, and as a
+man in a passion should do. The wit, who is as far gone in letters as
+himself, seems to be at a loss to answer such an apology; and concludes
+only, that though his anger is justly vented, it wants fire in the
+utterance. If wit is to be measured by the circumstances of time and
+place, there is no man has generally so little of that talent, as he who
+is a wit by profession. What he says, instead of arising from the
+occasion, has an occasion invented to bring it in. Thus he is new for no
+other reason, but that he talks like nobody else; but has taken up a
+method of his own, without commerce of dialogue with other people. The
+lively Jasper Dactyle[301] is one of this character. He seems to have
+made a vow to be witty to his life's end. When you meet him, "What do
+you think," says he, "I have been entertaining myself with?" Then out
+comes a premeditated turn, to which it is to no purpose to answer; for
+he goes on in the same strain of thought he designed without your
+speaking. Therefore I have a general answer to all he can say; as, "Sure
+there never was any creature had so much fire!" Spondee, who is a
+critic, is seldom out of this fine man's company. They have no manner of
+affection for each other, but keep together, like Novel and Oldfox in
+"The Plain Dealer,"[302] because they show each other. I know several of
+sense who can be diverted with this couple; but I see no curiosity in
+the thing, except it be, that Spondee is dull, and seems dull; but
+Dactyle is heavy with a brisk face. It must be owned also, that Dactyle
+has almost vigour enough to be a coxcomb; but Spondee, by the lowness of
+his constitution, is only a blockhead.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 15.
+
+We have no particulars of moment since our last, except it be, that the
+copy of the following original letter came by the way of Ostend. It is
+said to have been found in the closet of Monsieur Chamillard, the late
+Secretary of State of France, since his disgrace. It was signed by two
+brothers of the famous Cavallier,[303] who led the Cevennois, and had a
+personal interview with the king, as well as a capitulation to lay down
+his arms, and leave the dominions of France. There are many other names
+to it; among whom, is the chief of the family of the Marquis
+Guiscard.[304] It is not yet known, whether Monsieur Chamillard had any
+real design to favour the Protestant interest, or only thought to place
+himself at the head of that people, to make himself considerable enough
+to oppose his enemies at Court, and reinstate himself in power there.
+
+"SIR,
+
+"We have read your Majesty's[305] letter to the governors of your
+provinces, with instructions what sentiments to insinuate into the minds
+of your people: but as you have always acted upon the maxim, that we
+were made for you, and not you for us, we must take leave to assure your
+Majesty, that we are exactly of the contrary opinion, and must desire
+you to send for your grandson home, and acquaint him, that you now know
+by experience, absolute power is only a vertigo in the brain of princes,
+which for a time may quicken their motion, and double in their diseased
+sight the instances of power above them; but must end in their fall and
+destruction. Your memorial speaks a good father of your family, but a
+very ill one of your people. Your Majesty is reduced to hear truth when
+you are obliged to speak it: there is no governing any but savages by
+any methods but their own consent, which you seem to acknowledge, in
+appealing to us for our opinion of your conduct in treating of peace.
+Had your people been always of your council, the King of France had
+never been reduced so low, as to acknowledge his arms were fallen into
+contempt. But since it is thus, we must ask, 'How is any man of France,
+but they of the House of Bourbon, the better that Philip is King of
+Spain?' We have outgrown that folly of placing our happiness in your
+Majesty's being called, The Great; therefore as you and we are all alike
+bankrupts,[306] and undone, let us not deceive ourselves, but compound
+with our adversaries, and not talk like their equals. Your Majesty must
+forgive us that we cannot wish you success, or lend you help; for if you
+lose one battle more, we may have a hand in the peace you make; and
+doubt not but your Majesty's faith in treaties will require the
+ratification of the states of your kingdoms. So we bid you heartily
+farewell, till we have the honour to meet you assembled in Parliament.
+This happy expectation makes us willing to wait the event of another
+campaign, from whence we hope to be raised from the misery of slaves, to
+the privileges of subjects. We are,
+
+"Your Majesty's
+
+"Truly faithful, and
+
+"Loyal Subjects, &c."
+
+
+
+[Footnote 298: See Nos. 25, 26, 28.]
+
+[Footnote 299: The full-bottomed dress wigs. Another name was
+"Duvillier," used below.]
+
+[Footnote 300: See Percy's "Reliques of Ancient English Poetry," ed.
+Wheatley, iii. 279. "The Dragon of Wantley" is a satire on the old
+ballads of chivalry.]
+
+[Footnote 301: See Nos. 3, 63.]
+
+[Footnote 302: In the list of characters, Wycherley defines Novel as "a
+pert railing coxcomb, and an admirer of novelties," and Major Oldfox as
+"an old impertinent fop, given to scribbling."]
+
+[Footnote 303: James Cavallier was the celebrated leader of the French
+Protestants in the Cevennes, when these warlike but enthusiastic
+mountaineers opposed the tyranny of Lewis XIV. and made a vigorous stand
+against the whole power of France, which for a long time laboured in
+vain to subdue them. It was in the heat of this gallant struggle to
+preserve themselves from religious slavery, that the first seeds of that
+wild fanaticism were sown, which afterwards grew up to such an amazing
+extravagance, and distinguished them, by the name of French Prophets,
+among the most extraordinary enthusiasts that are to be found in the
+history of human folly. Cavallier, who found in his latter days an
+hospitable asylum in Ireland, published, in 1726, "Memoirs of the Wars
+of the Cevennes, under Col. Cavallier, in defence of the Protestants
+persecuted in that country, and of the peace concluded between him and
+the Mareschal Duke of Villars; of his conference with the King of
+France, after the conclusion of the peace; with letters relating
+thereto, from Mareschal Villars, and Chamillard, secretary of state."
+(Percy.)]
+
+[Footnote 304: It was a younger brother, an abbé, who used his pen and
+sword against Lewis XIV. He was employed in England, had preferment in
+the army, and a pension; but, being found a useless villain, he was soon
+discarded. He then endeavoured to make his peace with France, by acting
+here as a spy; but being detected, he was brought before the Cabinet
+Council, to be examined, March 8, 1711. In the course of his examination
+he took an opportunity to stab Mr. Harley. Of the wounds given to this
+assassin on that occasion, he died in Newgate soon after. See the
+"Narrative of Guiscard's Examination," by Mrs. Manley, from facts
+communicated to her by Dr. Swift. See also _Examiner_, No. 32.
+(Nichols.)]
+
+[Footnote 305: Soon after the conclusion of the late treaty of peace,
+the French king dispersed a letter through his dominions, wherein he
+shows the reasons why he could not ratify the preliminaries. _Vide_ the
+public newspapers of this date. (Steele.)]
+
+[Footnote 306: N.B.--Mons. Bernard and the chief bankers of France
+became bankrupts about this time (Steele).--See news paragraph in Nos.
+3, 5, 9.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 30. [STEELE.
+
+From _Thursday, June 16_, to _Saturday, June 18, 1709._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 16.
+
+The vigilance, the anxiety, the tenderness, which I have for the good
+people of England, I am persuaded will in time be much commended; but I
+doubt whether they will ever be rewarded. However, I must go on
+cheerfully in my work of reformation: that being my great design, I am
+studious to prevent my labours increasing upon me; therefore am
+particularly observant of the temper and inclinations of childhood and
+youth, that we may not give vice and folly supplies from the growing
+generation. It is hardly to be imagined how useful this study is, and
+what great evils or benefits arise from putting us in our tender years
+to what we are fit, or unfit: therefore on Tuesday last (with a design
+to sound their inclinations) I took three lads who are under my
+guardianship a rambling, in a hackney-coach, to show them the town, as
+the lions,[307] the tombs,[308] Bedlam,[309] and the other places which
+are entertainments to raw minds, because they strike forcibly on the
+fancy. The boys are brothers, one of sixteen, the other of fourteen, the
+other of twelve. The first was his father's darling, the second his
+mother's, and the third is mine, who am their uncle. Mr. William is a
+lad of true genius; but being at the upper end of a great school, and
+having all the lads below him, his arrogance is insupportable. If I
+begin to show a little of my Latin, he immediately interrupts: "Uncle,
+under favour, that which you say is not understood in that manner."
+"Brother," says my boy Jack, "you do not show your manners much in
+contradicting my Uncle Isaac." "You queer cur," says Mr. William, "do
+you think my uncle takes any notice of such a dull rogue as you are?"
+Mr. William goes on; "He is the most stupid of all my mother's children:
+he knows nothing of his book: when he should mind that, he is hiding or
+hoarding his taws and marbles, or laying up farthings. His way of
+thinking is, four and twenty farthings make sixpence, and two sixpences
+a shilling, two shillings and sixpence half a crown, and two half-crowns
+five shillings. So within these two months, the close hunks has scraped
+up twenty shillings, and we'll make him spend it all before he comes
+home." Jack immediately claps his hands into both pockets, and turns as
+pale as ashes. There is nothing touches a parent (and such I am to Jack)
+so nearly, as a provident temper. This lad has in him the true temper
+for a good husband, a kind father, and an honest executor. All the great
+people you see make considerable figures on the 'Change, in Court, and
+sometimes in Senates, are such as in reality have no greater faculty
+than what may be called human instinct, which is a natural tendency to
+their own preservation, and that of their friends, without being capable
+of striking out of the road for adventures. There is Sir William Scrip
+was of this sort of capacity from his childhood: he has bought the
+country round him, and makes a bargain better than Sir Harry Wildfire
+with all his wit and humour. Sir Harry never wants money but he comes to
+Scrip, laughs at him half an hour, and then gives bond for the other
+thousand. The close men are incapable of placing merit anywhere but in
+their pence, and therefore gain it; while others, who have larger
+capacities, are diverted from the pursuit by enjoyments, which can be
+supported only by that cash which they despise; and therefore are in the
+end, slaves to their inferiors both in fortune and understanding. I once
+heard a man of excellent sense observe, that more affairs in the world
+failed by being in the hands of men of too large capacities for their
+business, than by being in the conduct of such as wanted abilities to
+execute them. Jack therefore being of a plodding make, shall be a
+citizen; and I design him to be the refuge of the family in their
+distress, as well as their jest in prosperity. His brother Will, shall
+go to Oxford with all speed, where, if he does not arrive at being a man
+of sense, he will soon be informed wherein he is a coxcomb. There is in
+that place such a true spirit of raillery and humour, that if they can't
+make you a wise man, they will certainly let you know you are a fool,
+which is all my cousin wants to cease to be so. Thus having taken these
+two out of the way, I have leisure to look at my third lad. I observe in
+the young rogue a natural subtilty of mind, which discovers itself
+rather in forbearing to declare his thoughts on any occasion, than in
+any visible way of exerting himself in discourse. For which reason I
+will place him where, if he commits no faults, he may go farther than
+those in other stations, though they excel in virtues. The boy is well
+fashioned, and will easily fall into a graceful manner; wherefore, I
+have a design to make him a page to a great lady of my acquaintance; by
+which means he will be well skilled in the common modes of life, and
+make a greater progress in the world by that knowledge, than with the
+greatest qualities without it. A good mien in a Court will carry a man
+greater lengths than a good understanding in any other place. We see a
+world of pains taken, and the best years of life spent, in collecting a
+set of thoughts in a college for the conduct of life; and after all, the
+man so qualified shall hesitate in his speech to a good suit of clothes,
+and want common sense before an agreeable woman. Hence it is, that
+wisdom, valour, justice, and learning, can't keep a man in countenance
+that is possessed with these excellences, if he wants that less art of
+life and behaviour, called "good breeding." A man endowed with great
+perfections without this, is like one who has his pockets full of gold,
+but always wants change for his ordinary occasions. Will. Courtly is a
+living instance of this truth, and has had the same education which I am
+giving my nephew. He never spoke a thing but what was said before; and
+yet can converse with the wittiest men without being ridiculous. Among
+the learned, he does not appear ignorant; nor with the wise, indiscreet.
+Living in conversation from his infancy, makes him nowhere at a loss;
+and a long familiarity with the persons of men, is in a manner of the
+same service to him, as if he knew their arts. As ceremony is the
+invention of wise men to keep fools at a distance, so good breeding is
+an expedient to make fools and wise men equals.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, June 17.
+
+The suspension of the playhouse[310] has made me have nothing to send
+you from hence; but calling here this evening, I found the party I
+usually sit with, upon the business of writing, and examining what was
+the handsomest style in which to address women, and write letters of
+gallantry. Many were the opinions which were immediately declared on
+this subject: some were for a certain softness; some for I know not what
+delicacy; others for something inexpressibly tender: when it came to me,
+I said there was no rule in the world to be made for writing letters,
+but that of being as near what you speak face to face as you can; which
+is so great a truth, that I am of opinion, writing has lost more
+mistresses than any one mistake in the whole legend of love. For when
+you write to a lady for whom you have a solid and honourable love, the
+great idea you have of her, joined to a quick sense of her absence,
+fills your mind with a sort of tenderness, that gives your language too
+much the air of complaint, which is seldom successful. For a man may
+flatter himself as he pleases, but he will find, that the women have
+more understanding in their own affairs than we have, and women of
+spirit are not to be won by mourners. Therefore he that can keep
+handsomely within rules, and support the carriage of a companion to his
+mistress, is much more likely to prevail, than he who lets her see, the
+whole relish of his life depends upon her. If possible therefore divert
+your mistress, rather than sigh to her. The pleasant man she will desire
+for her own sake; but the languishing lover has nothing to hope from but
+her pity. To show the difference I produced two letters a lady gave me,
+which had been writ to her by two gentlemen who pretended to her, but
+were both killed the next day after the date at the battle of Almanza.
+One of them was a mercurial gay-humoured man; the other a man of a
+serious, but a great and gallant spirit. Poor Jack Careless! This is his
+letter: you see how it is folded: the air of it is so negligent, one
+might have read half of it by peeping into it, without breaking it open.
+He had no exactness.
+
+"MADAM,
+
+"It is a very pleasant circumstance I am in, that while I should be
+thinking of the good company we are to meet within a day or two, where
+we shall go to loggerheads, my thoughts are running upon a fair enemy in
+England. I was in hopes I had left you there; but you follow the camp,
+though I have endeavoured to make some of our leaguer ladies drive you
+out of the field. All my comfort is, you are more troublesome to my
+colonel than myself: I permit you to visit me only now and then; but he
+downright keeps you. I laugh at his Honour as far as his gravity will
+allow me; but I know him to be a man of too much merit to succeed with a
+woman. Therefore defend your heart as well as you can, I shall come home
+this winter irresistibly dressed, and with quite a new foreign air. And
+so I had like to say, I rest, but alas! I remain,
+
+"Madam,
+
+"Your most obedient,
+
+"Most humble Servant,
+
+                                        "JOHN CARELESS."
+
+Now for Colonel Constant's epistle; you see it is folded and directed
+with the utmost care.
+
+"MADAM,
+
+"I do myself the honour to write to you this evening, because I believe
+to-morrow will be a day of battle, and something forebodes in my breast
+that I shall fall in it. If it proves so, I hope you will hear, I have
+done nothing below a man who had a love of his country, quickened by a
+passion for a woman of honour. If there be anything noble in going to a
+certain death; if there be any merit, that I meet it with pleasure, by
+promising myself a place in your esteem; if your applause, when I am no
+more, is preferable to the most glorious life without you: I say, madam,
+if any of these considerations can have weight with you, you will give
+me a kind place in your memory, which I prefer to the glory of Cæsar. I
+hope, this will be read, as it is writ, with tears."
+
+The beloved lady is a woman of a sensible mind; but she has confessed
+to me, that after all her true and solid value for Constant, she had
+much more concern for the loss of Careless. Those great and serious
+spirits have something equal to the adversities they meet with, and
+consequently lessen the objects of pity. Great accidents seem not cut
+out so much for men of familiar characters, which makes them more easily
+pitied, and soon after beloved. Add to this, that the sort of love which
+generally succeeds, is a stranger to awe and distance. I asked Romana,
+whether of the two she should have chosen had they survived? She said,
+she knew she ought to have taken Constant; but believed she should have
+chosen Careless.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 17.
+
+Letters from Lisbon of the 9th instant, N.S., say, that the enemy's
+army, having blocked up Olivenza, was posted on the Guadiana. The
+Portuguese are very apprehensive that the garrison of that place, though
+it consists of five of the best regiments of their army, will be obliged
+to surrender, if not timely relieved, they not being supplied with
+provisions for more than six weeks. Hereupon their generals held a
+council of war on the 4th instant, wherein it was concluded to advance
+towards Badajos. With this design the army decamped on the 5th from
+Jerumena, and marched to Cancaon. It is hoped, that if the enemy follow
+their motions, they may have opportunity to put a sufficient quantity of
+provision and ammunition into Olivenza.
+
+Mr. Bickerstaff gives notice to all persons that dress themselves as
+they please, without regard to decorum (as with blue and red stockings
+in mourning; tucked cravats, and nightcap wigs, before people of the
+first quality) that he has yet received no fine for indulging them in
+that liberty, and that he expects their compliance with this demand, or
+that they go home immediately and shift themselves. This is further to
+acquaint the town, that the report that the hosiers, toymen, and
+milliners, have compounded with Mr. Bickerstaff for tolerating such
+enormities, is utterly false and scandalous.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 307: At the Tower of London. The Tower menagerie was one of
+the sights of London until its removal in 1834. See Addison's
+_Freeholder_; No. 47.]
+
+[Footnote 308: In Westminster Abbey.]
+
+[Footnote 309: The Priory of Bethlem, in St. Botolph Without,
+Bishopsgate, was given by Henry VIII. to the Corporation of London, and
+was from thenceforth used as a hospital for lunatics. In 1675 a new
+hospital was built near London Wall, in Moorfields, at a cost of
+£17,000. See Hogarth's "Rake's Progress," Plate 8. In No. 127, Steele
+calls Bedlam "that magnificent palace."]
+
+[Footnote 310: Drury Lane Theatre was closed on June 6, 1709, by order
+of the Lord Chamberlain, in consequence of Rich's ill-treatment of the
+actors.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 31. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, June 18_, to _Tuesday, June 21, 1709._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Grecian Coffee-house, June 18.
+
+In my dissertation against the custom of single combat,[311] it has been
+objected, that there is not learning, or much reading, shown therein,
+which is the very life and soul of all treatises; for which reason,
+being always easy to receive admonitions, and reform my errors, I
+thought fit to consult this learned board on the subject. Upon proposing
+some doubts, and desiring their assistance, a very hopeful young
+gentleman, my relation, who is to be called to the bar within a year and
+a half at farthest, told me, that he had ever since I first mentioned
+duelling turned his head that way; and that he was principally moved
+thereto, by reason that he thought to follow the circuits in the North
+of England and South of Scotland, and to reside mostly at his own estate
+at Landbadernawz[312] in Cardiganshire. The northern Britons and
+southern Scots are a warm people, and the Welsh a nation of gentlemen;
+so that it behoved him to understand well the science of quarrelling.
+The young gentleman proceeded admirably well, and gave the board an
+account, that he had read Fitzherbert's "Grand Abridgment,"[313] and had
+found, that duelling is a very ancient part of the law: for when a man
+is sued, be it for his life or his land, the person that joins the
+issue, whether plaintiff or defendant, may put the trial upon the duel.
+Further he argued, under favour of the court, that when the issue is
+joined by the duel in treason or other capital crimes, the parties
+accused and accuser must fight in their own proper persons: but if the
+dispute be for lands, you may hire a champion at
+Hockley-in-the-Hole,[314] for anywhere else. This part of the law we had
+from the Saxons; and they had it, as also the trial by ordeal, from the
+Laplanders.[315] "It is indeed agreed," said he, "the Southern and
+Eastern nations never knew anything of it; for though the ancient Romans
+would scold, and call names filthily, yet there is not an example of a
+challenge that ever passed amongst them." His quoting the Eastern
+nations, put another gentleman in mind of an account he had from a
+boatswain of an East Indiaman; which was, that a Chinese had tricked and
+bubbled him, and that when he came to demand satisfaction the next
+morning, and like a true tar of honour called him "Son of a whore,"
+"Liar," "Dog," and other rough appellatives used by persons conversant
+with winds and waves; the Chinese, with great tranquillity, desired him
+not to come aboard fasting, nor put himself in a heat, for it would
+prejudice his health. Thus the East knows nothing of this gallantry.
+There sat at the left of the table a person of a venerable aspect, who
+asserted, that half the impositions which are put upon these ages, have
+been transmitted by writers who have given too great pomp and
+magnificence to the exploits of the ancient Bear Garden, and made their
+gladiators, by fabulous tradition, greater than Gorman[316] and others
+of Great Britain. He informed the company, that he had searched
+authorities for what he said, and that a learned antiquary, Humphrey
+Scarecrow, Esq., of Hockley-in-the-Hole, recorder to the Bear Garden,
+was then writing a discourse on the subject. It appears by the best
+accounts, says this gentleman, that the high names which are used among
+us with so great veneration, were no other than stage-fighters, and
+worthies of the ancient Bear Garden. The renowned Hercules always
+carried a quarterstaff, and was from thence called Claviger. A learned
+chronologist is about proving what wood this staff was made of, whether
+oak, ash, or crab-tree. The first trial of skill he ever performed, was
+with one Cacus, a deer-stealer; the next was with Typhonus, a giant of
+forty feet four inches. Indeed it was unhappily recorded, that meeting
+at last with a sailor's wife, she made his staff of prowess serve her
+own use, and dwindle away to a distaff: she clapped him on an old tar
+jacket of her husband's; so that this great hero drooped like a scabbed
+sheep. Him his contemporary Theseus succeeded in the Bear Garden, which
+honour he held for many years: this grand duellist went to hell, and was
+the only one of that sort that ever came back again. As for Achilles and
+Hector (as the ballads of those times mention), they were pretty smart
+fellows; they fought at sword and buckler; but the former had much the
+better of it; his mother, who was an oyster-woman, having got a
+blacksmith of Lemnos to make her son's weapons. There is a pair of
+trusty Trojans in a song of Virgil's, that were famous for handling
+their gauntlets, Dares, and Entellus;[317] and indeed it does appear,
+they fought [for] no sham prize. What arms the great Alexander used, is
+uncertain; however, the historian mentions, when he attacked Thalestris,
+it was only at single rapier; but the weapon soon failed; for it was
+always observed, that the Amazons had a sort of enchantment about them,
+which made the blade of the weapon, though of never so good metal, at
+every home push, lose its edge and grow feeble. The Roman Bear Garden
+was abundantly more magnificent than anything Greece could boast of; it
+flourished most under those delights of mankind, Nero and Domitian: at
+one time it is recorded, four hundred senators entered the list, and
+thought it an honour to be cudgelled and quarterstaffed.[318] I observe,
+the Lanistaé were the people chiefly employed, which makes me imagine
+our Bear Garden copied much after this, the butchers being the greatest
+men in it. Thus far the glory and honour of the Bear Garden stood
+secure, till fate, that irresistible ruler of sublunary things, in that
+universal ruin of arts and politer learning, by those savage people the
+Goths and Vandals, destroyed and levelled it to the ground. Thus fell
+the grandeur and bravery of the Roman state, till at last the warlike
+genius (but accompanied with more courtesy) revived in the Christian
+world under those puissant champions, St. George, St. Denis, and other
+dignified heroes: one killed his dragon, another his lion, and were all
+afterwards canonised for it, having red letters before them to
+illustrate their martial temper.[319] The Spanish nation, it must be
+owned, were devoted to gallantry and chivalry above the rest of the
+world. What a great figure does that great name, Don Quixote, make in
+history? How shines this glorious star in the Western world? O renowned
+hero! O mirror of knighthood!
+
+    _Thy brandished whinyard all the world defies,
+    And kills as sure as del Tobosa's eyes._
+
+I am forced to break off abruptly, being sent for in haste, with my
+rule, to measure the degree of an affront, before the two gentlemen (who
+are now in their breeches and pumps ready to engage behind Montague
+House[320]) have made a pass.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 18.
+
+It is an unreasonable objection I find against my labours, that my stock
+is not all my own, and therefore the kind reception I have met with is
+not so deserved as it ought to be. But I hope, though it be never so
+true that I am obliged to my friends for laying their cash in my hands,
+since I give it them again when they please, and leave them at their
+liberty to call it home, it will not hurt me with my gentle readers. Ask
+all the merchants who act upon consignments, where is the necessity (if
+they answer readily what their correspondents draw) of their being
+wealthy themselves? Ask the greatest bankers, if all the men they deal
+with were to draw at once, what would be the consequence? But indeed a
+country friend has writ me a letter which gives me great mortification;
+wherein I find I am so far from expecting a supply from thence, that
+some have not heard of me, and the rest do not understand me. His
+epistle is as follows:[321]
+
+"DEAR COUSIN,
+
+"I thought when I left the town to have raised your fame here, and
+helped you to support it by intelligence from hence; but alas! they had
+never heard of the _Tatler_ until I brought down a set. I lent them from
+house to house; but they asked me what they meant. I began to enlighten
+them, by telling who and who were supposed to be intended by the
+characters drawn. I said for instance, Chloe[322] and Clarissa are two
+eminent toasts. A gentleman (who keeps his greyhound and gun, and one
+would think might know better) told me, he supposed they were papishes,
+for their names were not English: 'Then,' said he, 'why do you call live
+people "toasts"?' I answered, that was a new name found out by the wits,
+to make a lady have the same effect as burridge[323] in the glass when a
+man is drinking. 'But,' says I, 'sir, I perceive this is to you all
+bamboozling; why you look as if you were Don Diego'd[324] to the tune of
+a thousand pounds.' All this good language was lost upon him: he only
+stared, though he is as good a scholar as any layman in the town, except
+the barber. Thus, cousin, you must be content with London for the centre
+of your wealth and fame; we have no relish for you. Wit must describe
+its proper circumference, and not go beyond it, lest (like little boys,
+when they straggle out of their own parish), it may wander to places
+where it is not known, and be lost. Since it is so, you must excuse me
+that I am forced at a visit to sit silent, and only lay up what
+excellent things pass at such conversations.
+
+"This evening I was with a couple of young ladies; one of them has the
+character of the prettiest company, yet really I thought her but silly;
+the other, who talked a great deal less, I observed to have
+understanding. The lady who is reckoned such a companion among her
+acquaintance, has only, with a very brisk air, a knack of saying the
+commonest things: the other, with a sly serious one, says home things
+enough. The first (Mistress Giddy) is very quick; but the second (Mrs.
+Slim) fell into Giddy's own style, and was as good company as she. Giddy
+happens to drop her glove; Slim reaches it to her: 'Madam,' says Giddy,
+'I hope you'll have a better office.' Upon which Slim immediately
+repartees, and sits in her lap, and cries, 'Are you not sorry for my
+heaviness?' This sly wench pleased me to see how she hit her height of
+understanding so well. We sat down to supper. Says Giddy, mighty
+prettily, 'Two hands in a dish and one in a purse': says Slim, 'Ay,
+madam, the more the merrier; but the fewer the better cheer.' I quickly
+took the hint, and was as witty and talkative as they. Says I,
+
+    "_'He that will not when he may,
+    When he will he shall have nay;'_
+
+and so helped myself. Giddy turns about, 'What, have you found your
+tongue?' 'Yes,' says I, 'it is manners to speak when I am spoken to; but
+your greatest talkers are little doers, and the still sow eats up all
+the broth.' 'Ha! ha!' says Giddy, 'one would think he had nothing in
+him, and do you hear how he talks when he pleases.' I grew immediately
+roguish and pleasant to a degree in the same strain. Slim, who knew how
+good company we had been, cries, 'You'll certainly print this bright
+conversation.'"
+
+It is so; and hereby you may see how small an appearance the prettiest
+things said in company, make when in print.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 20.
+
+A mail from Lisbon has brought advices of June the 12th, from the King
+of Portugal's army encamped at Torre Allegada, which inform us, that the
+general of the army called a court-martial on the 4th at the camp of
+Gerumhena, where it was resolved to march with a design to attempt the
+succour of Olivenza. Accordingly the army moved on the 5th, and marched
+towards Badajos. Upon their approach, the Marquis de Bay detached so
+great a party from the blockade of Olivenza, that the Marquis des Minas,
+at the head of a large detachment, covered a great convoy of provisions
+towards Olivenza, which threw in their stores, and marched back to the
+main army, without molestation from the Spaniards. They add, that each
+army must necessarily march into quarters within twenty days.
+
+Whosoever can discover a surgeon's apprentice, who fell upon Mr.
+Bickerstaff's messenger, or (as the printers call him) devil, going to
+the press, and tore out of his hand part of his essay against duels, in
+the fragments of which were the words, "You lie," and "Man of honour,"
+taken up at the Temple Gate; and the words, "Perhaps,"--"May be
+not,"--"By your leave, sir,"--and other terms of provocation, taken up
+at the door of Young Man's Coffee-house,[325] shall receive satisfaction
+from Mr. Morphew, besides a set of arguments to be spoken to any man in
+a passion, which, if the said enraged man listens to, will prevent
+quarrelling.
+
+Mr. Bickerstaff does hereby give notice, that he has taken the two
+famous universities of this land under his immediate care, and does
+hereby promise all tutors and pupils, that he will hear what can be said
+of each side between them, and to correct them impartially, by placing
+them in orders and classes in the learned world, according to their
+merit.[326]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 311: See Nos. 25, 26, 28, 29.]
+
+[Footnote 312: Probably meant for Llanbadern Vawr, if not a name coined
+for the occasion.]
+
+[Footnote 313: Sir Anthony Fitzherbert's book was published in 1514.]
+
+[Footnote 314: See Nos. 28, 134.]
+
+[Footnote 315: See Selden, "De Duello" (1610), p. 19.]
+
+[Footnote 316: A prize-fighter mentioned in Lansdowne's epilogue to "The
+Jew of Venice."]
+
+[Footnote 317: "Æneid," v. 437 _seq._]
+
+[Footnote 318: Suetonius, "Life of Nero," chap. 12.]
+
+[Footnote 319: An allusion to the rubrics in Roman missals.]
+
+[Footnote 320: The fields at the back of Montague House, Bloomsbury,
+were a favourite place for duels in the first half of the eighteenth
+century. Cf. _Spectator_, No. 91: "I shall be glad to meet you
+immediately in Hyde Park or behind Montague House, or attend you to Barn
+Elms, or any other fashionable place that's fit for a gentleman to die
+in."]
+
+[Footnote 321: It has been suggested, with some probability, that this
+letter is by Swift.]
+
+[Footnote 322: See No. 4.]
+
+[Footnote 323: Borago was a plant formerly used as a cordial.]
+
+[Footnote 324: See No. 21.]
+
+[Footnote 325: Young Man's Coffee-house at Charing Cross, had a back
+door into Spring Garden. It seems to have been specially frequented by
+officers.]
+
+[Footnote 326: "Mr. Bickerstaff has received the advices from Clay Hill,
+which, with all intelligence from honest Mr. Sturdy and others, shall
+have their place in our future story" (folio).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 32. [SWIFT AND STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, June 21_, to _Thursday, June 23, 1709._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, June 22.
+
+An answer to the following letter being absolutely necessary to be
+despatched with all expedition, I must trespass upon all that come with
+horary questions into my ante-chamber, to give the gentlemen my opinion.
+
+#"_To Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq._#
+
+"_June 18_, 1709.
+
+"SIR,
+
+"I know not whether you ought to pity or laugh at me; for I am fallen
+desperately in love with a professed Platonne, the most unaccountable
+creature of her sex. To hear her talk seraphics, and run over
+Norris,[327] and More,[328] and Milton,[329] and the whole set of
+intellectual triflers, torments me heartily; for to a lover who
+understands metaphors, all this pretty prattle of ideas gives very fine
+views of pleasure, which only the dear declaimer prevents, by
+understanding them literally. Why should she wish to be a cherubim, when
+it is flesh and blood that makes her adorable? If I speak to her, that
+is a high breach of the idea of intuition: if I offer at her hand or
+lip, she shrinks from the touch like a sensitive plant, and would
+contract herself into mere spirit. She calls her chariot, 'vehicle'; her
+furbelowed scarf, 'pinions': her blue mant and petticoat is her 'azure
+dress'; and her footman goes by the name of Oberon. It is my misfortune
+to be six foot and a half high, two full spans between the shoulders,
+thirteen inches diameter in the calves; and before I was in love, I had
+a noble stomach, and usually went to bed sober with two bottles. I am
+not quite six and twenty, and my nose is marked truly aquiline. For
+these reasons, I am in a very particular manner her aversion. What shall
+I do? Impudence itself cannot reclaim her. If I write miserable, she
+reckons me among the children of perdition, and discards me her region:
+if I assume the gross and substantial, she plays the real ghost with me,
+and vanishes in a moment. I had hopes in the hypocrisy of her sex; but
+perseverance makes it as bad as fixed aversion. I desire your opinion,
+whether I may not lawfully play the Inquisition upon her, make use of a
+little force, and put her to the rack and the torture, only to convince
+her she has really fine limbs, without spoiling or distorting them. I
+expect your directions, ere I proceed to dwindle and fall away with
+despair; which at present I don't think advisable; because, if she
+should recant, she may then hate me perhaps in the other extreme for my
+tenuity. I am (with impatience) "Your most humble Servant,
+
+                                        "CHARLES STURDY."
+
+My patient has put his case with very much warmth, and represented it in
+so lively a manner, that I see both his torment and tormentor with great
+perspicuity. This order of platonic ladies are to be dealt with in a
+peculiar manner from all the rest of the sex. Flattery is the general
+way, and the way in this case; but it is not to be done grossly. Every
+man that has wit, and humour, and raillery, can make a good flatterer
+for woman in general; but a Platonne is not to be touched with
+panegyric: she will tell you, it is a sensuality in the soul to be
+delighted that way. You are not therefore to commend, but silently
+consent to all she does, and says. You are to consider in her the scorn
+of you is not humour, but opinion. There were some years since a set of
+these ladies who were of quality, and gave out, that virginity was to be
+their state of life during this mortal condition, and therefore resolved
+to join their fortunes, and erect a nunnery. The place of residence was
+pitched upon; and a pretty situation, full of natural falls and risings
+of waters, with shady coverts, and flowery arbours, was approved by
+seven of the founders. There were as many of our sex who took the
+liberty to visit those mansions of intended severity; among others, a
+famous rake of that time, who had the grave way to an excellence. He
+came in first; but upon seeing a servant coming towards him, with a
+design to tell him, this was no place for him or his companions, up goes
+my grave impudence to the maid: "Young woman," said he, "if any of the
+ladies are in the way on this side of the house, pray carry us on the
+other side towards the gardens: we are, you must know, gentlemen that
+are travelling England; after which we shall go into foreign parts,
+where some of us have already been." Here he bows in the most humble
+manner, and kissed the girl, who knew not how to behave to such a sort
+of carriage. He goes on: "Now you must know we have an ambition to have
+it to say, that we have a Protestant nunnery in England: but pray Mrs.
+Betty--" "Sir," she replied, "my name is Susan, at your service." "Then
+I heartily beg your pardon--" "No offence in the least," says she, "for
+I have a cousin-german whose name is Betty." "Indeed," said he, "I
+protest to you that was more than I knew, I spoke at random: but since
+it happens that I was near in the right, give me leave to present this
+gentleman to the favour of a civil salute." His friend advances, and so
+on, till that they had all saluted her. By this means, the poor girl was
+in the middle of the crowd of these fellows, at a loss what to do,
+without courage to pass through them; and the Platonics, at several
+peep-holes, pale, trembling, and fretting. Rake perceived they were
+observed, and therefore took care to keep Suky in chat with questions
+concerning their way of life; when appeared at last Madonella,[330] a
+lady who had writ a fine book concerning the recluse life, and was the
+projectrix of the foundation. She approaches into the hall; and Rake,
+knowing the dignity of his own mien and aspect, goes deputy from his
+company. She begins, "Sir, I am obliged to follow the servant, who was
+sent out to know, what affair could make strangers press upon a solitude
+which we, who are to inhabit this place, have devoted to Heaven and our
+own thoughts?" "Madam," replies Rake, with an air of great distance,
+mixed with a certain indifference, by which he could dissemble
+dissimulation, "your great intention has made more noise in the world
+than you design it should; and we travellers, who have seen many foreign
+institutions of this kind, have a curiosity to see, in its first
+rudiments, this seat of primitive piety; for such it must be called by
+future ages, to the eternal honour of the founders. I have read
+Madonella's excellent and seraphic discourse on this subject." The lady
+immediately answers, "If what I have said could have contributed to
+raise any thoughts in you that may make for the advancement of
+intellectual and divine conversation, I should think myself extremely
+happy." He immediately fell back with the profoundest veneration; then
+advancing, "Are you then that admired lady? If I may approach lips which
+have uttered things so sacred--" He salutes her. His friends follow his
+example. The devoted within stood in amazement where this would end, to
+see Madonella receive their address and their company. But Rake goes on,
+"We would not transgress rules; but if we may take the liberty to see
+the place you have thought fit to choose for ever, we would go into such
+parts of the gardens as is consistent with the severities you have
+imposed on yourselves." To be short, Madonella permitted Rake to lead
+her into the assembly of nuns, followed by his friends, and each took
+his fair one by the hand, after due explanation, to walk round the
+gardens. The conversation turned upon the lilies, the flowers, the
+arbors, and the growing vegetables; and Rake had the solemn impudence,
+when the whole company stood round him, to say, "That he sincerely
+wished that men might rise out of the earth like plants; and that our
+minds were not of necessity to be sullied with carnivorous appetites for
+the generation, as well as support of our species."[331] This was spoke
+with so easy and fixed an assurance, that Madonella answered, "Sir,
+under the notion of a pious thought, you deceive yourself in wishing an
+institution foreign to that of Providence: these desires were implanted
+in us for reverent purposes, in preserving the race of men, and giving
+opportunities for making our chastity more heroic." The conference was
+continued in this celestial strain, and carried on so well by the
+managers on both sides, that it created a second and a third[332]
+interview; and, without entering into further particulars, there was
+hardly one of them but was a mother or father that day twelve-month.
+
+Any unnatural part is long taking up, and as long laying aside;
+therefore Mr. Sturdy may assure himself, Platonica will fly for ever
+from a forward behaviour; but if he approaches her according to this
+model, she will fall in with the necessities of mortal life, and
+condescend to look with pity upon an unhappy man, imprisoned in so much
+body, and urged by such violent desires.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 22.
+
+The evils of this town increase upon me to so great a degree, that I am
+half afraid I shall not leave the world much better than I found it.
+Several worthy gentlemen and critics have applied to me, to give my
+censure of an enormity which has been revived (after being long
+oppressed) and is called Punning.[333] I have several arguments ready to
+prove, that he cannot be a man of honour who is guilty of this abuse of
+human society. But the way to expose it, is like the expedient of curing
+drunkenness, showing a man in that condition: therefore I must give my
+reader warning, to expect a collection of these offences; without which
+preparation, I thought it too adventurous to introduce the very mention
+of it in good company; and hope I shall be understood to do it, as a
+divine mentions oaths and curses, only for their condemnation. I shall
+dedicate this discourse to a gentleman my very good friend, who is the
+Janus[334] of our times, and whom by his years and wit, you would take
+to be of the last age; but by his dress and morals, of this.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 22.
+
+Last night arrived two mails from Holland, which brings letters from the
+Hague of the 28th instant, N.S., with advice, that the enemy lay
+encamped behind a strong retrenchment, with the marsh of Remières on
+their right and left, extending itself as far as Bethune: La Bassée is
+in their front, Lens in their rear, and their camp is strengthened by
+another line from Lens to Douay. The Duke of Marlborough caused an exact
+observation to be made of their ground, and the works by which they were
+covered, which appeared so strong, that it was not thought proper to
+attack them in their present posture. However, the Duke thought fit to
+make a feint as if he designed it; and accordingly marching from the
+abbey at Looze, as did Prince Eugene from Lampret, advanced with all
+possible diligence towards the enemy. To favour the appearance of an
+intended assault, the ways were made, and orders distributed in such a
+manner, that none in either camp could have thoughts of anything but
+charging the enemy by break of day the next morning: but soon after the
+fall of the night of the 26th, the whole army faced towards Tournay,
+which place they invested early in the morning of the 27th. The Marshal
+Villars was so confident that we designed to attack him, that he had
+drawn great part of the garrison of the place, which is now invested,
+into the field: for which reason, it is presumed it must submit within a
+small time; which the enemy cannot prevent, but by coming out of their
+present camp, and hazarding a general engagement. These advices add,
+that the garrison of Mons had marched out under the command of Marshal
+d'Arco; which, with the Bavarians, Walloons, and the troops of Cologne,
+have joined the grand army of the enemy.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 327: John Norris (1657-1711), the divine, published, in 1688,
+"The Theory and Regulation of Love, a Moral Essay; to which are added
+Letters Philosophical and Moral between the author and Doctor Henry
+More."]
+
+[Footnote 328: Henry More, the platonist (1614-87), published "Divine
+Dialogues," "Conjectura Cabalistica," and many other works.]
+
+[Footnote 329: It is not clear why Milton is bracketed with Norris and
+More; perhaps Swift had in mind such passages about heavenly love as
+that in "Paradise Lost," viii. 588-614.]
+
+[Footnote 330: Swift seems to have been the author of this first portion
+of No. 32, which contains a scandalous attack on Mary Astell. Nichols
+thought that Addison also had a share in it. See Nos. 59, 63. Mrs.
+Astell, a friend of Lady Elizabeth Hastings and John Norris, published,
+in 1694, her "Serious Proposal to the Ladies," advocating a Church of
+England monastery, without any irrevocable vows. Provision was made for
+mental as well as moral training; in fact, the institution was to have
+been "rather academical than monastic." But Bishop Burnet advised Lady
+Elizabeth Hastings not to subscribe to the proposed building, and the
+scheme fell through. In 1709, Miss Astell published a book called
+"Bart'lemy Fair; or, An Enquiry after Wit.... By Mr. Wotton, in answer
+to Lord Shaftesbury's Letter concerning Enthusiasm, and other profane
+writers." In the advertisement to the Second Edition ("An Enquiry after
+Wit," &c., 1722), Mary Astell says that, although her book was at first
+published under a borrowed name, it was ascribed to her, and drew upon
+her the resentment of that sort of men of wit who were exposed, and was
+the true cause of the fable published in the _Tatler_ a little after the
+"Enquiry" appeared. But she notes that, although the _Tatler_ showed its
+teeth against the "Proposal to the Ladies," the compilator made amends
+to the author (if not to the bookseller), by transcribing above a
+hundred pages into his _Ladies' Library_ verbatim, except in a few
+places, which would not be found to be improved. The "Enquiry after Wit"
+is dedicated "To the most Illustrious Society of the Kit-Cats," with
+many sarcastic allusions to their luxury, oaths, &c. True, their names
+had not been heard of from Hochsted or Ramillies, but then their heroism
+found in every place an ample theatre for their merits. "The Bath, the
+Wells, and every Fair, each Chocolate, Gaming House and Tavern resounds
+with your noble exploits."]
+
+[Footnote 331: This is borrowed from Sir Thomas Browne's "Religio
+Medici," part ii. sect. 9.]
+
+[Footnote 332: "Second," in original editions.]
+
+[Footnote 333: There is an apology for punning in No. 36 of the
+_Guardian_.]
+
+[Footnote 334: Swift.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 33. [STEELE.
+
+By Mrs. JENNY DISTAFF, half-sister to Mr. BICKERSTAFF.
+
+From _Thursday, June 23_, to _Saturday, June 25_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 23.
+
+My brother has made an excursion into the country, and the work against
+Saturday lies upon me. I am very glad I have got pen and ink in my hand;
+for I have for some time longed for his absence, to give a right idea of
+things, which I thought he put in a very odd light, and some of them to
+the disadvantage of my own sex. It is much to be lamented, that it is
+necessary to make discourses, and publish treatises, to keep the horrid
+creatures, the men, within the rules of common decency. Turning over the
+papers of memorials or hints for the ensuing discourses, I find a letter
+subscribed by Mr. Truman.
+
+"SIR,
+
+"I am lately come to town, and have read your works with much pleasure.
+You make wit subservient to good principles and good manners. Yet,
+because I design to buy the _Tatlers_ for my daughters to read, I take
+the freedom to desire you, for the future, to say nothing about any
+combat between Alexander and Thalestris."[335]
+
+This offence gives me occasion to express myself with the resentment I
+ought, on people who take liberties of speech before that sex of whom
+the honoured names of mother, daughter, and sister, are a part: I had
+liked to have named wife in the number; but the senseless world are so
+mistaken in their sentiments of pleasure, that the most amiable term in
+human life is become the derision of fools and scorners. My brother and
+I have at least fifty times quarrelled upon this topic. I ever argue,
+that the frailties of women are to be imputed to the false ornaments
+which men of wit put upon our folly and coquetry. He lays all the vices
+of men upon women's secret approbation of libertine characters in them.
+I did not care to give up a point; but now he is out of the way, I
+cannot but own I believe there is very much in what he asserted: for if
+you will believe your eyes, and own, that the wickedest and the wittiest
+of them all marry one day or other, is it possible to believe, that if a
+man thought he should be for ever incapable of being received by a woman
+of merit and honour, he would persist in an abandoned way, and deny
+himself the possibility of enjoying the happiness of well-governed
+desires, orderly satisfactions, and honourable methods of life? If our
+sex were wise, a lover should have a certificate from the last woman he
+served, how he was turned away, before he was received into the service
+of another: but at present any vagabond is welcome, provided he promises
+to enter into our livery. It is wonderful, that we will not take a
+footman without credentials from his last master; and in the greatest
+concern of life, we make no scruple of falling into a treaty with the
+most notorious offender in his behaviour against others. But this breach
+of commerce between the sexes, proceeds from an unaccountable prevalence
+of custom, by which a woman is to the last degree reproachable for being
+deceived, and a man suffers no loss of credit for being a deceiver.
+Since this tyrant humour has gained place, why are we represented in the
+writings of men in ill figures for artifice in our carriage, when we
+have to do with a professed impostor? When oaths, imprecations, vows,
+and adorations, are made use of as words of course, what arts are not
+necessary to defend us from such as glory in the breach of them? As for
+my part, I am resolved to hear all, and believe none of them; and
+therefore solemnly declare, no vow shall deceive me, but that of
+marriage: for I am turned of twenty, and being of a small fortune, some
+wit, and (if I can believe my lovers and my glass) handsome, I have
+heard all that can be said towards my undoing, and shall therefore, for
+warning sake, give an account of the offers that have been made me, my
+manner of rejecting them, and my assistances to keep my resolution. In
+the sixteenth year of my life, I fell into the acquaintance of a lady,
+extremely well known in this town for the quick advancement of her
+husband, and the honours and distinctions which her industry has
+procured him, and all who belong to her. This excellent body sat next to
+me for some months at church, and took the liberty (which she said her
+years and the zeal she had for my welfare gave her claim to) to assure
+me, that she observed some parts of my behaviour which would lead me
+into errors, and give encouragement to some to entertain hopes I did not
+think of. "What made you," said she, "look through your fan at that
+lord, when your eyes should have been turned upward, or closed in
+attention upon better objects?" I blushed, and pretended fifty odd
+excuses;--but confounded myself the more. She wanted nothing but to see
+that confusion, and goes on: "Nay, child, do not be troubled that I take
+notice of it, my value for you made me speak it; for though he is my
+kinsman, I have a nearer regard to virtue than any other consideration."
+She had hardly done speaking, when this noble lord came up to us, and
+took her hand to lead her to her coach. My head ran all that day and
+night on the exemplary carriage of this woman who could be so virtuously
+impertinent, as to admonish one she was hardly acquainted with.
+However, it struck upon the vanity of a girl that it may possibly be,
+his thoughts might have been as favourable of me, as mine were amorous
+of him, and as unlikely things as that have happened, if he should make
+me his wife. She never mentioned this more to me; but I still in all
+public places stole looks at this man, who easily observed my passion
+for him. It is so hard a thing to check the return of agreeable
+thoughts, that he became my dream, my vision, my food, my wish, my
+torment. That minister of darkness, the Lady Sempronia,[336] perceived
+too well the temper I was in, and would one day after evening service
+needs take me to the Park. When we were there, my lord passes by; I
+flushed into a flame. "Mrs. Distaff," said she, "you may very well
+remember the concern I was in upon the first notice I took of your
+regard to that lord, and forgive me, who had a tender friendship for
+your mother (now in her grave) that I am vigilant of your conduct." She
+went on with much severity, and after great solicitation, prevailed on
+me to go with her into the country, and there spend the ensuing summer
+out of the way of a man she saw I loved, and one whom she perceived
+meditated my ruin, by frequently desiring her to introduce him to me;
+which she absolutely refused, except he would give his honour that he
+had no other design but to marry me. To her country house a week or two
+after we went: there was at the farther end of her garden a kind of
+wilderness, in the middle of which ran a soft rivulet by an arbour of
+jessamine. In this place I usually passed my retired hours, and read
+some romantic or poetical tale till the close of the evening. It was
+near that time in the heat of summer, when gentle winds, soft murmurs
+of water, and notes of nightingales had given my mind an indolence,
+which added to that repose of soul, which twilight and the end of a warm
+day naturally throws upon the spirits. It was at such an hour, and in
+such a state of tranquillity I sat, when, to my unexpressible amazement,
+I saw my lord walking towards me, whom I knew not till that moment to
+have been in the country. I could observe in his approach the perplexity
+which attends a man big with design; and I had, while he was coming
+forward, time to reflect that I was betrayed; the sense of which gave me
+a resentment suitable to such a baseness: but when he entered into the
+bower where I was, my heart flew towards him, and, I confess, a certain
+joy came into my mind, with a hope that he might then make a declaration
+of honour and passion. This threw my eye upon him with such tenderness,
+as gave him power, with a broken accent, to begin. "Madam,--You will
+wonder--For it is certain, you must have observed--though I fear you
+will misinterpret the motives--But by Heaven, and all that's sacred! If
+you could--" Here he made a full stand. And I recovered power to say,
+"The consternation I am in you will not, I hope, believe--A helpless
+innocent maid--Besides that, the place--" He saw me in as great
+confusion as himself; which attributing to the same causes, he had the
+audaciousness to throw himself at my feet, and talk of the stillness of
+the evening; then ran into deifications of my person, pure flames,
+constant love, eternal raptures, and a thousand other phrases drawn from
+the images we have of heaven, which ill men use for the service of hell,
+were run over with uncommon vehemence. After which, he seized me in his
+arms: his design was too evident. In my utmost distress, I fell upon my
+knees--"My lord, pity me, on my knees--On my knees in the cause of
+virtue, as you were lately in that of wickedness. Can you think of
+destroying the labour of a whole life, the purpose of a long education,
+for the base service of a sudden appetite, to throw one that loves you,
+that dotes on you, out of the company and road of all that is virtuous
+and praiseworthy? Have I taken in all the instructions of piety,
+religion, and reason, for no other end, but to be the sacrifice of lust,
+and abandoned to scorn? Assume yourself, my lord, and do not attempt to
+vitiate a temple sacred to innocence, honour, and religion. If I have
+injured you, stab this bosom, and let me die, but not be ruined by the
+hand I love." The ardency of my passion made me incapable of uttering
+more; and I saw my lover astonished and reformed by my behaviour: when
+rushed in Sempronia. "Ha! Faithless, base man, could you then steal out
+of town, and lurk like a robber about my house for such brutish
+purposes?" My lord was by this time recovered, and fell into a violent
+laughter at the turn which Sempronia designed to give her villany. He
+bowed to me with the utmost respect: "Mrs. Distaff," said he, "be
+careful hereafter of your company"; and so retired. The fiend Sempronia
+congratulated my deliverance with a flood of tears. This nobleman has
+since very frequently made his addresses to me with honour, but I have
+as often refused them; as well knowing, that familiarity and marriage
+will make him, on some ill-natured occasion, call all I said in the
+arbour a theatrical action. Besides that, I glory in contemning a man
+who had thoughts to my dishonour. And if this method were the imitation
+of the whole sex, innocence would be the only dress of beauty; and all
+affectation by any other arts to please the eyes of men, would be
+banished to the stews for ever. The conquest of passion gives ten times
+more happiness than we can reap from the gratification of it; and she
+that has got over such a one as mine, will stand among beaux and pretty
+fellows, with as much safety as in a summer's day among grasshoppers and
+butterflies.
+
+P.S.--I have ten millions of things more against men, if I ever get the
+pen again.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 24.
+
+Our last advices from the Hague, dated the 28th instant, say, that on
+the 25th a squadron of Dutch men-of-war sailed out of the Texel to join
+Admiral Baker at Spithead. The 26th was observed as a day of fasting and
+humiliation, to implore a blessing on the arms of the Allies this
+ensuing campaign. Letters from Dresden are very particular in the
+account of the gallantry and magnificence in which that Court has
+appeared since the arrival of the King of Denmark. No day has passed in
+which public shows have not been exhibited for his entertainment and
+diversion: the last of that kind which is mentioned is a carousal,
+wherein many of the youth of the first quality, dressed in the most
+splendid manner, ran for the prize. His Danish Majesty condescended to
+the same; but having observed that there was a design laid to throw it
+in his way, passed by without attempting to gain it. The Court of
+Dresden was preparing to accompany his Danish Majesty to Potsdam, where
+the expectation of an interview of three kings had drawn together such
+multitudes of people, that many persons of distinction will be obliged
+to lie in tents as long as those Courts continue in that place.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 335: See No. 31.]
+
+[Footnote 336: See Sallust, "Bell. Catal." chap. 21. The person here
+referred to as Sempronia is said to be the same as the Madam d'Epingle
+elsewhere alluded to.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 34. [STEELE.
+
+By ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esq.
+
+From _Saturday, June 25_, to _Tuesday, June 28, 1709._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, June 25.
+
+Having taken upon me to cure all the distempers which proceed from
+affections of the mind, I have laboured since I first kept this public
+stage, to do all the good I could possibly, and have perfected many
+cures at my own lodging; carefully avoiding the common method of
+mountebanks, to do their most eminent operations in sight of the people;
+but must be so just to my patients as to declare, they have testified
+under their hands their sense of my poor abilities, and the good I have
+done them, which I publish for the benefit of the world, and not out of
+any thoughts of private advantage. I have cured fine Mrs. Spy of a great
+imperfection in her eyes, which made her eternally rolling them from one
+coxcomb to another in public places, in so languishing a manner, that it
+at once lessened her own power, and her beholder's vanity. Twenty drops
+of my ink, placed in certain letters on which she attentively looked for
+half an hour, have restored her to the true use of her sight; which is,
+to guide, and not mislead us. Ever since she took this liquor, which I
+call Bickerstaff's Circumspection Water, she looks right forward, and
+can bear being looked at for half a day without returning one glance.
+This water has a peculiar virtue in it, which makes it the only true
+cosmetic or beauty wash in the world: the nature of it is such, that if
+you go to a glass, with design to admire your face, it immediately
+changes it into downright deformity. If you consult it only to look
+with a better countenance upon your friends, it immediately gives an
+alacrity to the visage, and new grace to the whole person. There is
+indeed a great deal owing to the constitution of the person to whom it
+is applied: it is in vain to give it when the patient is in the rage of
+the distemper; a bride in her first month, a lady soon after her
+husband's being knighted, or any person of either sex who has lately
+obtained any new good fortune or preferment, must be prepared some time
+before they use it. It has an effect upon others, as well as the
+patient, when it is taken in due form. Lady Petulant has by the use of
+it cured her husband of jealousy, and Lady Gad her whole neighbourhood
+of detraction. The fame of these things, added to my being an old
+fellow, makes me extremely acceptable to the fair sex. You would hardly
+believe me, when I tell you there is not a man in town so much their
+delight as myself. They make no more of visiting me, than going to Madam
+d'Epingle's.[337] There were two of them, namely, Damia and Clidamira (I
+assure you women of distinction) who came to see me this morning in
+their way to prayers, and being in a very diverting humour as (innocence
+always makes people cheerful) they would needs have me, according to the
+distinction of "pretty" and "very pretty" fellows, inform them if I
+thought either of them had a title to the "very pretty" among those of
+their own sex; and if I did, which was the more deserving of the two. To
+put them to the trial, "Look ye," said I, "I must not rashly give my
+judgment in matters of this importance; pray let me see you dance: I
+play upon the kit."[338] They immediately fell back to the lower end of
+the room (you may be sure they curtsied low enough to me): and began.
+Never were two in the world so equally matched, and both scholars to my
+namesake Isaac.[339] Never was man in so dangerous a condition as
+myself, when they began to expand their charms. "O! ladies, ladies,"
+cried I, "not half that air, you'll fire the house." Both smiled; for
+by-the bye, there's no carrying a metaphor too far, when a lady's charms
+are spoken of. Somebody, I think, has called a fine woman dancing, a
+brandished torch of beauty.[340] These rivals moved with such an
+agreeable freedom, that you would believe their gesture was the
+necessary effect of the music, and not the product of skill and
+practice. Now Clidamira came on with a crowd of graces, and demanded my
+judgment with so sweet an air--and she had no sooner carried it, but
+Damia made her utterly forgot by a gentle sinking, and a rigadoon
+step.[341] The contest held a full half-hour; and I protest, I saw no
+manner of difference in their perfections, till they came up together,
+and expected my sentence. "Look ye, ladies," said I, "I see no
+difference in the least in your performance; but you Clidamira seem to
+be so well satisfied that I shall determine for you, that I must give it
+to Damia, who stands with so much diffidence and fear, after showing an
+equal merit to what she pretends to. Therefore, Clidamira, you are a
+'pretty'; but, Damia, you are a 'very pretty' lady. For," said I,
+"beauty loses its force, if not accompanied with modesty. She that has a
+humble opinion of herself, will have everybody's applause, because she
+does not expect it; while the vain creature loses approbation through
+too great a sense of deserving it."
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 27.
+
+Being of a very spare and hective constitution, I am forced to make
+frequent journeys of a mile or two for fresh air; and indeed by this
+last, which was no further than the village of Chelsea, I am farther
+convinced of the necessity of travelling to know the world. For as it is
+usual with young voyagers, as soon as they land upon a shore, to begin
+their accounts of the nature of the people, their soil, their
+government, their inclinations, and their passions, so really I fancied
+I could give you an immediate description of this village, from the Five
+Fields,[342] where the robbers lie in wait, to the coffee-house where
+the _literati_ sit in council. A great ancestor of ours by the mother's
+side, Mr. Justice Overdo (whose history is written by Ben Jonson),[343]
+met with more enormities by walking _incog._ than he was capable of
+correcting; and found great mortifications in observing also persons of
+eminence, whom he before knew nothing of. Thus it fared with me, even in
+a place so near the town as this. When I came into the
+coffee-house,[344] I had not time to salute the company, before my eye
+was diverted by ten thousand gimcracks round the room and on the
+ceiling. When my first astonishment was over, comes to me a sage of a
+thin and meagre countenance; which aspect made me doubt, whether reading
+or fretting had made it so philosophic: but I very soon perceived him to
+be of that sect which the ancients call Gingivistæ,[345] in our
+language, tooth-drawers. I immediately had a respect for the man; for
+these practical philosophers go upon a very rational hypothesis, not to
+cure, but take away the part affected. My love of mankind made me very
+benevolent to Mr. Salter, for such is the name of this eminent barber
+and antiquary. Men are usually, but unjustly, distinguished rather by
+their fortunes, than their talents, otherwise this personage would make
+a great figure in that class of men which I distinguish under the title
+of Odd Fellows. But it is the misfortune of persons of great genius, to
+have their faculties dissipated by attention to too many things at once.
+Mr. Salter is an instance of this: if he would wholly give himself up to
+the string,[346] instead of playing twenty beginnings to tunes, he might
+before he dies play "Roger de Caubly"[347] quite out. I heard him go
+through his whole round, and indeed I think he does play the "Merry
+Christ-Church Bells"[348] pretty justly; but he confessed to me, he did
+that rather to show he was orthodox, than that he valued himself upon
+the music itself. Or if he did proceed in his anatomy, why might not he
+hope in time to cut off legs, as well as draw teeth? The particularity
+of this man put me into a deep thought, whence it should proceed, that
+of all the lower order barbers should go farther in hitting the
+ridiculous, than any other set of men. Watermen brawl, cobblers sing;
+but why must a barber be for ever a politician, a musician, an
+anatomist, a poet, and a physician? The learned Vossus says,[349] his
+barber used to comb his head in iambics. And indeed in all ages, one of
+this useful profession, this order of cosmetic philosophers, has been
+celebrated by the most eminent hands. You see the barber in "Don
+Quixote,"[350] is one of the principal characters in the history, which
+gave me satisfaction in the doubt, why Don Saltero writ his name with a
+Spanish termination: for he is descended in a right line, not from John
+Tradescant,[351] as he himself asserts, but from that memorable
+companion of the Knight of Mancha. And I hereby certify all the worthy
+citizens who travel to see his rarities, that his double-barrelled
+pistols, targets, coats of mail, his sclopeta,[352] and sword of
+Toledo,[353] were left to his ancestor by the said Don Quixote, and by
+the said ancestor to all his progeny down to Don Saltero. Though I go
+thus far in favour of Don Saltero's great merit, I cannot allow a
+liberty he takes of imposing several names (without my licence) on the
+collections he has made, to the abuse of the good people of England; one
+of which is particularly calculated to deceive religious persons, to the
+great scandal of the well disposed, and may introduce heterodox
+opinions. He shows you a straw hat, which I know to be made by Madge
+Peskad, within three miles of Bedford; and tells you, it is Pontius
+Pilate's wife's chamber-maid's sister's hat. To my knowledge of this
+very hat, it may be added, that the covering of straw was never used
+among the Jews, since it was demanded of them to make bricks without it.
+Therefore this is really nothing, but under the specious pretence of
+learning and antiquity, to impose upon the world. There are other things
+which I cannot tolerate among his rarities; as, the china figure of a
+lady in the glass case; the Italian engine for the imprisonment of those
+who go abroad with it: both which I hereby order to be taken down, or
+else he may expect to have his letters patents for making punch
+superseded, be debarred wearing his muff next winter, or ever coming to
+London without his wife.[354] It may perhaps be thought I have dwelt too
+long upon the affairs of this operator; but I desire the reader to
+remember, that it is my way to consider men as they stand in merit, and
+not according to their fortune or figure; and if he is in a coffee-house
+at the reading hereof, let him look round, and he will find there may be
+more characters drawn in this account than that of Don Saltero; for half
+the politicians about him, he may observe, are, by their place in
+nature, of the class of tooth-drawers.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 337: See p. 273, note.]
+
+[Footnote 338: A small violin or fiddle. See No. 160.]
+
+[Footnote 339: A dancing-master, who either was French, or pretended to
+be so. See No. 109.]
+
+[Footnote 340: A song of Waller's begins:
+
+    "Behold the brand of beauty tost!
+    See, how the motion doth dilate the flame!"
+                                            (Dobson).
+]
+
+[Footnote 341: The rigadoon was a dance for two persons. Cf. _Guardian_,
+No. 154: "We danced a rigadoon together."]
+
+[Footnote 342: On the site of Eaton and Belgrave Squares. See
+_Spectator_, No. 137: "The Five Fields towards Chelsea."]
+
+[Footnote 343: In "Bartholomew Fair," act ii. sc. i. Overdo went to the
+Fair in disguise, and being mistaken for a cutpurse, was well beaten.]
+
+[Footnote 344: Salter, a barber, opened a coffee-house in Cheyne Walk,
+Chelsea, in 1695. Sir Harry Sloane, whose servant he had been, gave him
+some curiosities to start a museum. Others, including Admiral Munden and
+his fellow-officers, added to the collection, and the first catalogue
+appeared in 1729. The more startling curiosities were, of course, not
+genuine. The remains of the collection were sold in 1799 for about £50.
+A view of Salter's house will be found in Timbs' "Clubs and Club Life in
+London." Verses of a more or less coarse nature by Don Saltero appeared
+not unfrequently in the "British Apollo," in 1709.]
+
+[Footnote 345: From "gingiva," the gum.]
+
+[Footnote 346: Salter played very badly on the fiddle.]
+
+[Footnote 347: "Sir Roger de Coverley," the famous country-dance tune.]
+
+[Footnote 348: By Dr. Henry Aldrich, Dean of Christ Church, Oxford,
+where Steele matriculated.]
+
+[Footnote 349: "De Poematum cantu, et viribus Rythmi," 1673.]
+
+[Footnote 350: Master Nicholas. See "Don Quixote," chap. v.]
+
+[Footnote 351: There were two John Tradescants (father and son) who
+collected objects of natural history. Their collection formed the
+foundation of the Ashmolean Museum at Oxford. The "Museum
+Tradescantianum: or, A Collection of Rarities preserved at South
+Lambeth, near London, by John Tradescant," contains interesting
+portraits of both John Tradescant, senior, and John Tradescant, junior,
+as well as a plate of the Tradescant arms.]
+
+[Footnote 352: A sclopeta or sclopetta was a hand-gun used by
+Spaniards.]
+
+[Footnote 353: Toledo was famous for its sword-blades.]
+
+[Footnote 354: Salter had an old grey muff, which he clapped constantly
+to his nose, and by which he was distinguishable at the distance of a
+quarter of a mile. His wife was none of the best, being much addicted to
+scolding.-(Nichols.)]
+
+
+
+
+No. 35. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, June 28_, to _Thursday, June 30_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Grecian Coffee-house, June 28.
+
+There is a habit or custom which I have put my patience to the utmost
+stretch to have suffered so long, because several of my intimate friends
+are in the guilt; and that is, the humour of taking snuff, and looking
+dirty about the mouth by way of ornament. My method is to dive to the
+bottom of a sore before I pretend to apply a remedy. For this reason, I
+sat by an eminent story-teller and politician who takes half an ounce in
+five seconds, and has mortgaged a pretty tenement near the town, merely
+to improve and dung his brains with this prolific powder. I observed
+this gentleman the other day in the midst of a story diverted from it by
+looking at something at a distance, and I softly hid his box. But he
+returns to his tale, and looking for his box, he cries, "And so, sir--"
+Then when he should have taken a pinch, "As I was saying," says he--"Has
+nobody seen my box?" His friend beseeches him to finish his narration.
+Then he proceeds, "And so, sir--Where can my box be?" Then, turning to
+me, "Pray, sir, did you see my box?" "Yes, sir," said I, "I took it to
+see how long you could live without it." He resumes his tale; and I took
+notice, that his dulness was much more regular and fluent than before. A
+pinch supplied the place of, "As I was saying," "And so, sir"; and he
+went on currently enough in that style which the learned call the
+insipid. This observation easily led me into a philosophic reason for
+taking snuff, which is done only to supply with sensations the want of
+reflection. This I take to be an Ἕυρηκα [Heurêka], a nostrum; upon which
+I hope to receive the thanks of this board. For as it is natural to lift
+a man's hand to a sore, when you fear anything coming at you; so when a
+person feels his thoughts are run out, and has no more to say, it is as
+natural to supply his weak brain with powder at the nearest place of
+access, viz., the nostrils. This is so evident, that nature suggests the
+use according to the indigence of the persons who use this medicine,
+without being prepossessed with the force of fashion or custom. For
+example; the native Hibernians, who are reckoned not much unlike the
+ancient Bœotians, take this specific for emptiness in the head, in
+greater abundance than any other nation under the sun. The learned
+Sotus, as sparing as he is in his words, would be still more silent if
+it were not for this powder. But however low and poor the taking snuff
+argues a man to be in his own stock of thought, or means to employ his
+brains and his fingers, yet there is a poorer creature in the world than
+he, and this is a borrower of snuff; a fellow that keeps no box of his
+own, but is always asking others for a pinch. Such poor rogues put me
+always in mind of a common phrase among schoolboys when they are
+composing their exercise, who run to an upper scholar, and cry, "Pray
+give me a little sense." But of all things, commend me to the ladies who
+are got into this pretty help to discourse.[355] I have been this three
+years persuading Sagissa[356] to leave it off; but she talks so much,
+and is so learned, that she is above contradiction. However, an
+accident the other day brought that about, which my eloquence never
+could accomplish: she had a very pretty fellow in her closet, who ran
+thither to avoid some company that came to visit her. She made an excuse
+to go in to him for some implement they were talking of. Her eager
+gallant snatched a kiss; but being unused to snuff, some grains from off
+her upper lip made him sneeze aloud, which alarmed the visitants, and
+has made a discovery, that profound reading, very much intelligence, and
+a general knowledge of who and who's together, cannot fill up her vacant
+hours so much, but that she is sometimes obliged to descend to
+entertainments less intellectual.
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, June 29.
+
+I know no manner of news for this place, but that Cynthio, having been
+long in despair for the inexorable Clarissa, lately resolved to fall in
+love the good old way of bargain and sale, and has pitched upon a very
+agreeable young woman.[357] He will undoubtedly succeed; for he accosts
+her in a strain of familiarity, without breaking through the deference
+that is due to woman whom a man would choose for his life. I have hardly
+ever heard rough truth spoken with a better grace than in this his
+letter.[358]
+
+"MADAM,
+
+"I writ to you on Saturday by Mrs. Lucy, and give you this trouble to
+urge the same request I made then, which was, that I may be admitted to
+wait upon you. I should be very far from desiring this, if it were a
+transgression of the most severe rules to allow it: I know you are very
+much above the little arts which are frequent in your sex, of giving
+unnecessary torments to their admirers; therefore hope, you'll do so
+much justice to the generous passion I have for you, as to let me have
+an opportunity of acquainting you upon what motives I pretend to your
+good opinion. I shall not trouble you with my sentiments, till I know
+how they will be received; and as I know no reason why difference of sex
+should make our language to each other differ from the ordinary rules of
+right reason, I shall affect plainness and sincerity in my discourse to
+you, as much as other lovers do perplexity and rapture. Instead of
+saying, 'I shall die for you,' I profess I should be glad to lead my
+life with you: you are as beautiful, as witty, as prudent, and as
+good-humoured, as any woman breathing; but I must confess to you, I
+regard all these excellences as you will please to direct them, for my
+happiness or misery. With me, madam, the only lasting motive to love is
+the hope of its becoming mutual. I beg of you to let Mrs. Lucy send me
+word when I may attend you. I promise you, I'll talk of nothing but
+indifferent things; though at the same time I know not how I shall
+approach you in the tender moment of first seeing you, after this
+declaration, of,
+
+"Madam,
+
+"Your most obedient,
+
+"And most faithful
+
+"Humble Servant, &c."
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, June 29.
+
+Having taken a resolution when plays are acted next winter by an entire
+good company, to publish observations from time to time on the
+performance of the actors, I think it but just to give an abstract of
+the law of action, for the help of the less learned part of the
+audience, that they may rationally enjoy so refined and instructive a
+pleasure as a just representation of human life. The great errors in
+playing are admirably well exposed in Hamlet's direction to the
+actors[359] who are to play in his supposed tragedy; by which we shall
+form our future judgments on their behaviour, and for that reason you
+have the discourse as follows:
+
+"Speak the speech as I pronounce it to you, trippingly on the tongue;
+but if you mouth it, as many of our players do, I had as lieve the
+town-crier had spoke my lines: nor do not saw the air too much with your
+hand thus; but use all gently: for in the very torrent, tempest, and, as
+I may say, the whirlwind of passion, you must acquire and beget a
+temperance that may give it smoothness. Oh! it offends me to the soul,
+to see a robustious periwig-pated fellow tear a passion to tatters, to
+very rags, to split the ears of the groundlings, who (for the most part)
+are capable of nothing but inexplicable dumb shows and noise. I could
+have such a fellow whipped for overdoing termagant: it out-Herods Herod.
+Be not too tame neither; but let your own discretion be your tutor: suit
+the action to the word, the word to the action; with this special
+observance, that you overstep not the modesty of nature; for anything so
+overdone, is from the purpose of playing, whose end, both at the first
+and now, was, and is, to hold as it were the mirror up to Nature; to
+show Virtue her own feature; scorn her own image; and the very age and
+body of the time its form and pressure. Now this overdone, or come tardy
+off, though it make the unskilful laugh, cannot but make the judicious
+grieve. The censures of which one, must, in your allowance, oversway a
+whole theatre of others. Oh! there be players, that I have seen play,
+and heard others praise, and that highly (not to speak it profanely),
+that neither having the accent of Christian, Pagan, or Norman, have so
+strutted and bellowed, that I have thought some of Nature's journeymen
+had made men, and not made them well, they imitated humanity so
+abominably. This should be reformed altogether; and let those that play
+your clowns, speak no more than is set down for them: for there be of
+them that will of themselves laugh, to set on some quantity of barren
+spectators to laugh too; though in the meantime, some necessary question
+of the play be then to be considered; that is villanous, and shows a
+most pitiful ambition in the fool that uses it."
+
+
+From my own Apartment, June 29.
+
+It would be a very great obligation, and an assistance to my treatise
+upon Punning,[360] if any one would please to inform in what class,
+among the learned who play with words, to place the author of the
+following letter.[361]
+
+"Sir,
+
+"Not long since you were pleased to give us a chimerical account of the
+famous family of Staffs,[362] from whence I suppose you would insinuate,
+that it is the most ancient and numerous house in all Europe. But I
+positively deny that it is either; and wonder much at your audacious
+proceedings in this matter, since it is well known, that our most
+illustrious, most renowned, and most celebrated Roman family of Ix, has
+enjoyed the precedency to all others from the reign of good old Saturn.
+I could say much to the defamation and disgrace of your family; as, that
+your relations Distaff and Broomstaff were both inconsiderate mean
+persons, one spinning, the other sweeping the streets, for their daily
+bread. But I forbear to vent my spleen on objects so much beneath my
+indignation. I shall only give the world a catalogue of my ancestors,
+and leave them to determine which hath hitherto had, and which for the
+future ought to have, the preference.
+
+"First then comes the most famous and popular Lady Meretrix, parent of
+the fertile family of Bellatrix, Lotrix, Netrix, Nutrix, Obstetrix,
+Famulatrix, Coctrix, Ornatrix, Sarcinatrix, Fextrix, Balneatrix,
+Portatrix, Saltatrix, Divinatrix, Conjectrix, Comtrix, Debitrix,
+Creditrix, Donatrix, Ambulatrix, Mercatrix, Adsectrix, Assectatrix,
+Palpatrix, Præceptrix, Pistrix.
+
+"I am yours,
+
+                                        "ELIZ. POTATRIX."
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, June 29.
+
+Letters from Brussels of the 2nd of July, N.S., say, that the Duke of
+Marlborough and Prince Eugene having received advice, that the Marshal
+Villars had drawn a considerable body out of the garrison of Tournay to
+reinforce his army, marched towards that place, and came before it early
+in the morning of the 27th. As soon as they came into that ground, the
+Prince of Nassau was sent with a strong detachment to take post at St.
+Amand; and at the same time my Lord Orkney received orders to possess
+himself of Mortagne; both which were successfully executed; whereby we
+are masters of the Scheldt and the Scarp. Eight men were drawn out of
+each troop of dragoons and company of foot in the garrison of Tournay,
+to make up the reinforcement which was ordered to join Marshal Villars;
+but upon advice that the Allies were marching towards Tournay, they
+endeavoured to return into the town; but were intercepted by the Earl of
+Orkney, by whom that whole body was killed or taken. These letters add,
+that 1200 dragoons (each horseman carrying a foot-soldier behind him)
+were detached from Mons to throw themselves into Tournay; but upon
+appearance of a great body of horse of the Allies, retired towards
+Condé. We hear, that the garrison does not consist of more than 3500
+men. Of the sixty battalions designed to be employed in this siege,
+seven [_sic_] are English, viz., two of Guards, and the regiments of
+Argyle, Temple, Evans and Meredith.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 355: See Nos. 79, 140; and Swift's "Journal to Stella," Nov.
+3, 1711. A correspondent begged the _Spectator_ (No. 344) to "take
+notice of an impertinent custom the women, the fine women, have lately
+fallen into, of taking snuff."]
+
+[Footnote 356: It has been suggested that Steele here alludes to Mrs. De
+la Rivière Manley.]
+
+[Footnote 357: Lord Hinchinbroke married Elizabeth, only daughter of
+Alexander Popham, Esq. See Nos. 1, 5, 22.]
+
+[Footnote 358: This was one of Steele's own letters to Miss Scurlock.
+(See "Correspondence," 1809, vol. i. p. 93.) "Mrs. Lucy" is "Mrs.
+Warren" in the original.]
+
+[Footnote 359: "Hamlet," act iii. sc. 2.]
+
+[Footnote 360: See No. 32.]
+
+[Footnote 361: This letter is printed in Scott's edition of Swift's
+works.]
+
+[Footnote 362: See No. II.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 36. [? STEELE.[363]
+
+By Mrs. JENNY DISTAFF, half-sister to Mr. BICKERSTAFF.
+
+From _Thursday, June 30_, to _Saturday, July 2_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From our own Apartment, June 30.
+
+Many affairs calling my brother into the country, the care of our
+intelligence with the town is left to me for some time; therefore you
+must expect the advices you meet with in this paper to be such as more
+immediately and naturally fall under the consideration of our sex:
+history therefore written by a woman, you will easily imagine to consist
+of love in all its forms, both in the abuse of, and obedience to that
+passion. As to the faculty of writing itself, it will not, it is hoped,
+be demanded, that style and ornament shall be so much consulted, as
+truth and simplicity; which latter qualities we may more justly pretend
+to beyond the other sex. While therefore the administration of our
+affairs is in my hands, you shall from time to time have an exact
+account of all false lovers, and their shallow pretences for breaking
+off; of all termagant wives who make wedlock a yoke; of men who affect
+the entertainments and manners suitable only to our sex, and women who
+pretend to the conduct of such affairs as are only within the province
+of men. It is necessary further to advertise the reader, that the usual
+places of resort being utterly out of my province or observation, I
+shall be obliged frequently to change the dates of places, as
+occurrences come into my way. The following letter I lately received
+from Epsom.[364]
+
+
+Epsom, June 28.
+
+"It is now almost three weeks since what you writ about happened in this
+place: the quarrel between my friends did not run so high as I find your
+accounts have made it. The truth of the fact you shall have very
+faithfully. You are to understand, that the persons concerned in this
+scene were, Lady Autumn, and Lady Springly:[365] Autumn is a person of
+good breeding, formality, and a singular way practised in the last age;
+and Lady Springly, a modern impertinent of our sex, who affects as
+improper familiarity, as the other does distance. Lady Autumn knows to a
+hair's-breadth where her place is in all assemblies and conversations;
+but Springly neither gives nor takes place of anybody, but understands
+the place to signify no more, than to have room enough to be at ease
+wherever she comes. Thus while Autumn takes the whole of this life to
+consist in understanding punctilio and decorum, Springly takes
+everything to be becoming which contributes to her ease and
+satisfaction. These heroines have married two brothers, both knights.
+Springly is the spouse of the elder, who is a baronet; and Autumn, being
+a rich widow, has taken the younger, and her purse endowed him with an
+equal fortune and knighthood of the same order. This jumble of titles,
+you need not doubt, has been an aching torment to Autumn, who took place
+of the other on no pretence, but her carelessness and disregard of
+distinction. This secret occasion of envy broiled long in the breast of
+Autumn; but no opportunity of contention on that subject happening, kept
+all things quiet till the accident, of which you demand an account.
+
+"It was given out among all the gay people of this place, that on the
+9th instant several damsels, swift of foot, were to run for a suit of
+head-clothes at the Old Wells. Lady Autumn on this occasion invited
+Springly to go with her in her coach to see the race. When they came to
+the place where the governor of Epsom and all his court of citizens were
+assembled, as well as a crowd of people of all orders, a brisk young
+fellow addresses himself to the younger of the ladies, viz., Springly,
+and offers her his service to conduct her into the music-room. Springly
+accepts the compliment, and is led triumphantly through the bowing
+crowd, while Autumn is left among the rabble, and has much ado to get
+back into her coach; but she did it at last: and as it is usual to see
+by the horses my lady's present disposition, she orders John to whip
+furiously home to her husband; where, when she enters, down she sits,
+began to unpin her hood, and lament her foolish fond heart to marry into
+a family where she was so little regarded, she that might--Here she
+stops; then rises up and stamps, and sits down again. Her gentle knight
+made his approaches with a supple beseeching gesture. 'My dear,' said
+he--'Tell me no dears,' replied Autumn; in the presence of the governor
+and all the merchants; 'What will the world say of a woman that has
+thrown herself away at this rate?' Sir Thomas withdrew, and knew it
+would not be long a secret to him; as well as that experience told him,
+he that marries a fortune, is of course guilty of all faults against his
+wife, let them be committed by whom they will. But Springly, an hour or
+two after, returns from the Wells, and finds the whole company together.
+Down she sat, and a profound silence ensued. You know a premeditated
+quarrel usually begins and works up with the words, 'Some people.' The
+silence was broken by Lady Autumn, who began to say, 'There are some
+people who fancy, that if some people--' Springly immediately takes her
+up; 'There are some people who fancy, if other people--' Autumn
+repartees, 'People may give themselves airs; but other people, perhaps,
+who make less ado, may be, perhaps, as agreeable as people who set
+themselves out more.' All the other people at the table sat mute, while
+these two people, who were quarrelling, went on with the use of the word
+'people,' instancing the very accidents between them, as if they kept
+only in distant hints. 'Therefore,' says Autumn, reddening, 'there are
+some people who will go abroad in other people's coaches, and leave
+those, with whom they went, to shift for themselves; and if, perhaps,
+those people have married the younger brother, yet, perhaps, he may be
+beholden to those people for what he is.' Springly smartly answers,
+'People may bring so much ill humour into a family, as people may repent
+their receiving their money'; and goes on--'Everybody is not
+considerable enough to give her uneasiness.' Upon this, Autumn comes up
+to her, and desired her to kiss her, and never to see her again; which
+her sister refusing, my lady gave her a box on the ear. Springly
+returns; 'Ay, ay,' said she, 'I knew well enough you meant me by your
+"some people,"' and gives her another on the other side. To it they went
+with most masculine fury: each husband ran in. The wives immediately
+fell upon their husbands, and tore periwigs and cravats. The company
+interposed; when (according to the slip-knot of matrimony, which makes
+them return to one another when any put in between) the ladies and their
+husbands fell upon all the rest of the company; and having beat all
+their friends and relations out of the house, came to themselves time
+enough to know, there was no bearing the jest of the place after these
+adventures, and therefore marched off the next day. It is said, the
+governor has sent several joints of mutton, and has proposed divers
+dishes very exquisitely dressed, to bring them down again. From his
+address and knowledge in roast and boiled, all our hopes of the return
+of this good company depend. I am,
+
+"Dear Jenny,
+
+"Your ready Friend
+
+"And Servant,
+
+                                        "MARTHA TATLER."
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, June 30.
+
+This day appeared here a figure of a person, whose services to the fair
+sex have reduced him to a kind of existence, for which there is no name.
+If there be a condition between life and death, without being absolutely
+dead or living, his state is that. His aspect and complexion in his
+robust days gave him the illustrious title of Africanus:[366] but it is
+not only from the warm climates in which he has served, nor from the
+disasters which he has suffered, that he deserves the same appellation
+with that renowned Roman; but the magnanimity with which he appears in
+his last moments, is what gives him the undoubted character of Hero.
+Cato stabbed himself, and Hannibal drank poison; but our Africanus lives
+in the continual puncture of aching bones and poisoned juices. The old
+heroes fled from torments by death, and this modern lives in death and
+torments, with a heart wholly bent upon a supply for remaining in them.
+An ordinary spirit would sink under his oppressions; but he makes an
+advantage of his very sorrow, and raises an income from his diseases.
+Long has this worthy been conversant in bartering, and knows, that when
+stocks are lowest, it is the time to buy. Therefore, with much prudence
+and tranquillity, he thinks, that now he has not a bone sound, but a
+thousand nodous parts for which the anatomists have not words, and more
+diseases than the College ever heard of, it is the only time to purchase
+an annuity for life. Sir Thomas[367] told me, it was an entertainment
+more surprising and pleasant than can be imagined, to see an inhabitant
+of neither world without hand to lift, or leg to move, scarce tongue to
+utter his meaning, so keen upon biting the whole world, and making
+bubbles at his exit. Sir Thomas added, that he would have bought twelve
+shillings a year of him, but that he feared there was some trick in it,
+and believed him already dead: "What!" says that knight, "is Mr.
+Partridge, whom I met just now going on both his legs firmer than I can,
+allowed to be quite dead; and shall Africanus, without one limb that can
+do its office, be pronounced alive?" What heightened the tragi-comedy of
+this market for annuities was, that the observation of it provoked
+Monoculus[368] (who is the most eloquent of all men) to many excellent
+reflections, which he spoke with the vehemence and language both of a
+gamester and an orator. "When I cast," said that delightful speaker, "my
+eye upon thee, thou unaccountable Africanus, I cannot but call myself as
+unaccountable as thou art; for certainly we were born to show what
+contradictions nature is pleased to form in the same species. Here am I,
+able to eat, to drink, to sleep, and do all acts of nature, except
+begetting my like; and yet by an unintelligible force of spleen and
+fancy, I every moment imagine I am dying. It is utter madness in thee to
+provide for supper; for I'll bet you ten to one, you don't live till
+half an hour after four; and yet I am so distracted as to be in fear
+every moment, though I'll lay ten to three, I drink three pints of burnt
+claret at your funeral three nights hence. After all, I envy thee; thou
+who dying hast no sense of death, art happier than one in health
+that[369] always fears it." The knight had gone on, but that a third man
+ended the scene by applauding the knight's eloquence and philosophy, in
+a laughter too violent for his own constitution, as much as he mocked
+that of Africanus and Monoculus.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, July 1.
+
+This day arrived three mails from Holland, with advices relating to the
+posture of affairs in the Low Countries, which say, that the Confederate
+army extends from Luchin, on the causeway between Tournay and Lisle, to
+Epain near Mortagne on the Scheldt. The Marshal Villars remains in his
+camp at Lens; but it is said, he detached ten thousand men under the
+command of the Chevalier de Luxembourg, with orders to form a camp at
+Crepin on the Haine, between Condé and St. Guillain, where he is to be
+joined by the Elector of Bavaria with a body of troops, and after their
+conjunction, to attempt to march into Brabant. But they write from
+Brussels, that the Duke of Marlborough having it equally in his power to
+make detachments to the same parts, they are under no apprehensions from
+these reports for the safety of their country. They further add from
+Brussels, that they have good authority for believing that the French
+troops under the conduct of Marshal de Bezons are retiring out of
+Spain.[370]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 363: Nichols argued that this and the two following numbers
+were by Addison. (1) At the end of No. 37 there is a list of errata for
+the preceding number. It was Addison's frequent practice to make verbal
+alterations in a preceding paper, and this Steele never did, except in
+rare cases, or where there was a positive mistake. (2) All the three
+papers are _superscribed_, as Addison's often were, and appear upon the
+face of them, to be of the nature, and in the number of those, for which
+Steele stood sponsor, and was very patiently traduced and calumniated,
+as he acknowledges to Congreve, in the Dedication prefixed to "The
+Drummer." There is nothing in the style or manner of any of the three
+that appears incongruous with such a supposition; and the nature of
+their principal contents seems to support it. They consist chiefly of
+pleasantries and oblique strokes, apparently on persons of fashion, in
+that age, of both sexes. It appears from the Dedication to "The
+Drummer," that Steele had Addison's direct injunctions to hide papers
+which he never did declare to be Addison's. The case, in short, seems to
+be, that as, as Steele says, there are communications in the course of
+this work, which Addison's modesty, so there are likewise others, which
+Addison's prudence, "would never have admitted to come into daylight,
+but under such a shelter." According to the usual rule where there is
+uncertainty, Steele's name is placed at the head of the papers in this
+edition. Probably he was responsible in any case for part of the
+contents of each of these numbers.]
+
+[Footnote 364: Epsom was frequented for its mineral waters, and was also
+a favourite holiday resort. "At the Crown Coffee-house, behind the Royal
+Exchange, fresh Epsom water, with the rest of the purging waters, at 2d.
+per quart, and sold both winter and summer, and Epsom salt." (See
+"British Apollo," vol. iii. No. 15, 1710, and "Post Man," June 11,
+1700.) "The New Wells at Epsom, with variety of raffling-shops, a
+billiard-table, and a bowling-green, and attended with a new set of
+music, are now open," &c. (_Flying Post_, Aug. 4-6, 1709.) The new Wells
+were opened on Easter Monday, 1709 (_Daily Courant_, April 23, 1709). We
+can form some idea of Epsom some years before, with its wells and
+bowling-green, from Shadwell's play, "Epsom Wells," 1673. See also No.
+7.]
+
+[Footnote 365: On July 8, 1709, Peter Wentworth wrote to Lord Raby: "I
+have not sent you the _Tatler_ of last Saturday, because I was told
+'twas dull, but that persons judgement I shall take no more; for having
+since read it I think it diverting enough, the news from Epsom is almost
+matter of fact, wch makes the jest the better; the Ladys are city ladys,
+named Turners" ("Wentworth Papers," p. 93). This is confirmed by the MS.
+annotator mentioned in No. 4.]
+
+[Footnote 366: "I like the description of Africanus, wch is Sir Scipio
+Hill ... Sir Scipio Hill with his new project of getting money occasions
+some diversion and talk at White's. You may have heard for this long
+while he was dieing of the ----; he now come abroad and look a divel, or
+at least a sad _memento mori_. He gives forescore guineas to receive ten
+guineas a quarter for his life, Sir James of the Peak is his agent, and
+runs about offering it all that will take. Boscowen has took it, and two
+or three more, who are of opinion he will not live a month. Those he had
+made his heirs does not approve of this whim, for he's resolved to
+dispose of all his ready money this way if he can find substantial fools
+enough to take it; but the crack begins to run as if he may live a great
+while for all he looks so ill, for he has recovered his voice to a
+miracle" (Peter Wentworth to Lord Raby, July 1 and 8, 1709; "Wentworth
+Papers," pp. 92-3).]
+
+[Footnote 367: The waiter. See No. 16.]
+
+[Footnote 368: Said to be Sir Humphrey Monoux, Bart., who was elected
+M.P. for Tavistock in 1728, and for Stockbridge in 1734. He succeeded to
+the baronetage in 1707, and died without issue in 1757.]
+
+[Footnote 369: "Thou that hast no sense of death, art happier than one
+that" (folio; altered in Errata in No. 37).]
+
+[Footnote 370: "This paper, with a blank leaf to write business on, may
+be had of J. Morphew, near Stationers'-hall" (folio).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 37. [?STEELE.[371]
+
+From _Saturday, July 2_, to _Tuesday, July 5_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, July 2.
+
+It may be thought very unaccountable, that I,[372] who can never be
+supposed to go to White's, should pretend to talk to you of matters
+proper for, or in the style of, that place. But though I do not go to
+these public haunts, I receive visits from those who do; and for all
+they pretend so much to the contrary, they are as talkative as our sex,
+and as much at a loss to entertain the present company, without
+sacrificing the last, as we ourselves. This reflection has led me into
+the consideration of the use of speech; and made me look over in my
+memory all my acquaintance of both sexes, to know to which I may more
+justly impute the sin of superfluous discourse, with regard to
+conversation, and not entering into it as it respects religion. I
+foresee my acquaintance will immediately, upon starting this subject,
+ask me, how I shall celebrate Mrs. Alse Copswood,[373] the Yorkshire
+huntress, who is come to town lately, and moves as if she were on her
+nag, and going to take a five-bar gate; and is as loud as if she were
+following her dogs. I can easily answer that; for she is as soft as
+Damon, in comparison of her brother-in-law Tom Bellfrey,[374] who is the
+most accomplished man in this kingdom for all gentlemanlike activities
+and accomplishments. It is allowed, that he is a professed enemy to the
+Italian performers in music. But then for our own native manner,
+according to the customs and known usages of our island, he is to be
+preferred, for the generality of the pleasure he bestows, much above
+those fellows,[375] though they sing to full theatres. For what is a
+theatrical voice to that of a fox-hunter? I have been at a musical
+entertainment in an open field, where it amazed me to hear to what
+pitches the chief masters would reach. There was a meeting near our seat
+in Staffordshire, and the most eminent of all the counties of England
+were at it. How wonderful was the harmony between men and dogs! Robin
+Cartail of Bucks was to answer to Jowler; Mr. Tinbreast of Cornwall was
+appointed to open with Sweetlips, and Beau Slimber, a Londoner,
+undertook to keep up with Trips, a whelp just set in: Tom Bellfrey and
+Ringwood were coupled together, to fill the cry on all occasions, and be
+in at the death of the fox, hare, or stag; for which both the dog and
+the man were excellently suited, and loved one another, and were as much
+together as Banister and King. When Jowler first alarmed the field,
+Cartail repeated every note; Sweetlips' treble succeeded, and shook the
+wood; Tinbreast echoed a quarter of a mile beyond it. We were soon after
+all at a loss, till we rid up, and found Trips and Slimber at a default
+in half-notes: but the day and the tune was recovered by Tom Bellfrey
+and Ringwood, to the great joy of us all, though they drowned every
+other voice: for Bellfrey carries a note four furlongs, three rood, and
+six paces, farther than any other in England. But I fear the mention of
+this will be thought a digression from my purpose about speech: but I
+answer, No. Since this is used where speech rather should be employed,
+it may come into consideration in the same chapter: for Mr. Bellfrey
+being at a visit where I was, viz., his cousin's (Lady Dainty's) in
+Soho, was asked, what entertainments they had in the country? Now
+Bellfrey is very ignorant, and much a clown; but confident withal. In a
+word, he struck up a fox-chase: Lady Dainty's dog, Mr. Sippet, as she
+calls him, started and jumped out of his lady's lap, and fell a barking.
+Bellfrey went on, and called all the neighbouring parishes into the
+square. Never was woman in such confusion as that delicate lady. But
+there was no stopping her kinsman. A room full of ladies fell into the
+most violent laughter: my lady looked as if she was shrieking; Mr.
+Sippet in the middle of the room, breaking his heart with barking, but
+all of us unheard. As soon as Bellfrey became silent, up gets my lady,
+and takes him by the arm to lead him off: Bellfrey was in his boots. As
+she was hurrying him away, his spurs takes hold of her petticoat; his
+whip throws down a cabinet of china: he cries, "What! are your crocks
+rotten? Are your petticoats ragged? A man can't walk in your house for
+trincums." Every county of Great Britain has one hundred or more of this
+sort of fellows, who roar instead of speaking. Therefore if it be true,
+that we women are also given to greater fluency of words than is
+necessary, sure one that disturbs but a room or a family is more to be
+tolerated, than one who draws together parishes and counties, and
+sometimes (with an estate that might make him the blessing and ornament
+of the world around him) has no other view and ambition, but to be an
+animal above dogs and horses, without the relish of any one enjoyment,
+which is peculiar to the faculties of human nature. But I know it will
+here be said, that talking of mere country squires at this rate, is, as
+it were, to write against Valentine or Orson. To prove anything against
+the race of men, you must take them as they are adorned with education,
+as they live in Courts, or have received instructions in colleges.
+
+But I was so full of my late entertainment by Mr. Bellfrey, that I must
+defer pursuing this subject to another day; and waive the proper
+observations upon the different offenders in this kind, some by profound
+eloquence, on small occasions, others by degrading speech upon great
+circumstances. Expect therefore to hear of the whisperer without
+business, the laugher without wit, the complainer without receiving
+injuries, and a very large crowd, which I shall not forestall, who are
+common (though not commonly observed) impertinents, whose tongues are
+too voluble for their brains, and are the general despisers of us women,
+though we have their superiors, the men of sense, for our servants.[376]
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, July 4.
+
+There has arrived no mail since our last; so that we have no manner of
+foreign news, except we were to give you, for such, the many
+speculations which are on foot concerning what was imported by the last
+advices. There are, it seems, sixty battalions and seventeen squadrons
+appointed to serve in the siege of Tournay; the garrison of which place
+consists but of eleven battalions and four squadrons. Letters of the
+29th of the last month from Berlin have brought advice, that the Kings
+of Denmark, Prussia, and his Majesty Augustus, were within few days to
+come to an interview at Potsdam. These letters mention, that two Polish
+princes of the family of the Sapicha and Lubermirsky, lately arrived
+from Paris, confirm the reports of the misery in France for want of
+provisions, and give a particular instance of it, which is, that on the
+day Monsieur Rouillé returned to Court, the common people gathered in
+crowds about the Dauphin's coach, crying, "Peace and bread, bread and
+peace."
+
+Mrs. Distaff has taken upon her, while she writes this paper, to turn
+her thoughts wholly to the service of her own sex, and to propose
+remedies against the greatest vexations attending female life. She has
+for this end written a small treatise concerning the second word, with
+an appendix on the use of a reply, very useful to all such as are
+married to persons either ill-bred or ill-natured. There is in this
+tract a digression for the use of virgins concerning the words, "I
+will."
+
+A gentlewoman who has a very delicate ear, wants a maid who can whisper,
+and help her in the government of her family. If the said servant can
+clear-starch, lisp, and tread softly, she shall have suitable
+encouragement in her wages.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 371: See note to No. 36.]
+
+[Footnote 372: Jenny Distaff.]
+
+[Footnote 373: The Jacobite Archbishop of York, Dr. John Sharpe, who
+died in 1713. See _Examiner_, vol. iv. No. 22.]
+
+[Footnote 374: Dr. Blackall (1654-1716), who was made Bishop of Exeter
+in 1708.]
+
+[Footnote 375: The French Prophets, from the Cevennes. Dr. Blackall's
+sermon against them was printed by order of the Queen.]
+
+[Footnote 376: The following article appeared only in the folio issue:--
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, July 3.
+
+A very ingenious gentleman was complaining this evening, that the
+players are grown so severe critics, that they would not take in his
+play, though it has as many fine things in it as any play that has been
+writ since the days of Dryden. He began his discourse about his play
+with a preface.
+
+"There is," said he, "somewhat (however we palliate it) in the very
+frame and make of us, that subjects our minds to chagrin and
+irresolution on any emergency of time or place. The difficulty grows on
+our sickened imagination, under all the killing circumstances of danger
+and disappointment. This we see, not only in the men of retirement and
+fancy, but in the characters of the men of action; with this only
+difference, the coward sees the danger, and sickens under it; the hero,
+warmed by the difficulty, dilates, and rises in proportion to that, and
+in some sort makes use of his very fears to disarm it. A remarkable
+instance of this we have in the great Cæsar, when he came to the
+Rubicon, and was entering upon a part, perhaps, the most hazardous he
+ever bore (certainly the most ungrateful), a war with his countrymen.
+When his mind brooded over personal affronts, perhaps his anger burned
+with a desire of revenge. But when more serious reflections laid before
+him the hazard of the enterprise, with the dismal consequences which
+were likely to attend it, aggravated by a special circumstance, What
+figure it would bear in the world, or how be excused to posterity. What
+shall he do?--His honour, which was his religion, bids him arm; and he
+sounds the inclinations of his party, by this set speech:
+
+#_CÆSAR_ to his Party at the Rubicon.#
+
+    Great Jove, attend, and thou my native soil,
+    Safe in my triumphs, glutted in my spoil;
+    Witness with what reluctance I oppose
+    My arms to thine, secure of other foes.
+    What passive breast can bear disgrace like mine?
+    Traitor!--For this I conquered on the Rhine,
+    Endured their ten years' drudgery in Gaul,
+    Adjourned their fate, and saved the Capitol.
+    I grew by every guilty triumph less;
+    The crowd, when drunk with joy, their souls express,
+    Impatient of the war, yet fear success.
+    Brave actions dazzle with too bright a ray,
+    Like birds obscene they chatter at the day;
+    Giddy with rule, and valiant in debate,
+    They throw the die of war, to save the state;
+    And gods! to gild ingratitude with fame,
+    Assume the patriot's, we the rebel's name.
+    Farewell, my friends, your general forlorn,
+    To your bare pity, and the public scorn,
+    Must lay that honour and his laurel down,
+    To serve the vain caprices of the gown;
+    Exposed to all indignities, the brave
+    Deserve of those they gloried but to save,
+    To rods and axes!--No, the slaves can't dare
+    Play with my grief, and tempt my last despair.
+    This shall the honours which it won maintain,
+    Or do me justice, ere I hug my chain."
+
+The reason for cancelling this article when these papers were
+republished in octavo, is obvious; for, being printed by Steele, it
+would naturally be applied to the circumstances in which the Duke of
+Marlborough was at that time: "The Duke having his commission under the
+Great Seal, the order of the Queen was not sufficient to dissolve his
+power. His friends advised him to assemble, by his authority as general,
+all the troops in London, in the different squares, and to take
+possession of St. James's, and the person of the Queen. Oxford, apprised
+of this design, suddenly called together the Cabinet Council. Though he
+probably concealed his intelligence to prevent their fears, he told them
+of the necessity of superseding Marlborough under the Great Seal. This
+business was soon despatched. His dismission in form was sent to the
+Duke. The Earl of Oxford, no stranger to the character of Marlborough,
+knew that he would not act against law, by assembling the troops. The
+natural diffidence of his disposition had made him unfit for enterprises
+of danger, in a degree that furnished his enemies with insinuations
+against his personal courage."--(Macpherson's "State Papers," quoted by
+Nichols.)]
+
+
+
+
+No. 38. [?STEELE.[377]
+
+From _Tuesday, July 5_, to _Thursday, July 7, 1709._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, July 6.
+
+I find among my brother's papers the following letter verbatim, which I
+wonder how he could suppress so long as he has, since it was sent him
+for no other end, but to show the good effect his writings have already
+had upon the ill customs of the age.
+
+                                        "London, _June 23_.
+
+"SIR,
+
+"The end of all public papers ought to be the benefit and instruction,
+as well as the diversion of the readers: to which I see none so truly
+conducive as your late performances; especially those tending to the
+rooting out from amongst us that unchristianlike and bloody custom of
+duelling; which, that you have already in some measure performed, will
+appear to the public in the following no less true than heroic story.
+
+"A noble gentleman of this city, who has the honour of serving his
+country as major in the train-bands, being at that general mart of
+stockjobbers called Jonathan's,[378] endeavouring to raise himself (as
+all men of honour ought) to the degree of colonel at least; it happened
+that he bought the 'bear'[379] of another officer, who, though not
+commissioned in the army, yet no less eminently serves the public than
+the other, in raising the credit of the kingdom, by raising that of the
+stocks. However, having sold the 'bear,' and words arising about the
+delivery, the most noble major, no less scorning to be outwitted in the
+coffee-house, than to run into the field, according to method, abused
+the other with the titles of, 'rogue,' 'villain,' 'bearskin-man,' and
+the like. Whereupon satisfaction was demanded, and accepted: so, forth
+the major marched, commanding his adversary to follow. To a most
+spacious room in the sheriff's house, near the place of quarrel, they
+come; where, having due regard to what you have lately published, they
+resolved not to shed one another's blood in that barbarous manner you
+prohibited; yet, not willing to put up affronts without satisfaction,
+they stripped, and in decent manner fought full fairly with their
+wrathful hands. The combat lasted a quarter of an hour; in which time
+victory was often doubtful, and many a dry blow was strenuously laid on
+by each side, till the major finding his adversary obstinate, unwilling
+to give him further chastisement, with most shrill voice cried out, 'I
+am satisfied, enough.' Whereupon the combat ceased, and both were
+friends immediately.
+
+"Thus the world may see, how necessary it is to encourage those men who
+make it their business to instruct the people in everything necessary
+for their preservation. I am informed, a body of worthy citizens have
+agreed on an address of thanks to you for what you have writ on the
+foregoing subject, whereby they acknowledge one of their highly esteemed
+officers preserved from death.
+
+"Your humble Servant,
+
+                                        "A. B."
+
+I fear the word "bear" is hardly to be understood among the polite
+people; but I take the meaning to be, that one who ensures a real value
+upon an imaginary thing, is said to sell a "bear," and is the same thing
+as a promise among courtiers, or a vow between lovers. I have writ to my
+brother to hasten to town; and hope, that printing the letters directed
+to him, which I knew not how to answer, will bring him speedily; and
+therefore I add also the following:
+
+                                        "_July 5_, 1709.
+
+"MR. BICKERSTAFF,
+
+You having hinted a generous intention of taking under your
+consideration the whisperers without business, and laughers without
+occasion; as you tender the welfare of your country, I entreat you not
+to forget or delay so public-spirited a work. Now or never is the time.
+Many other calamities may cease with the war; but I dismally dread the
+multiplication of these mortals under the ease and luxuriousness of a
+settled peace, half the blessing of which may be destroyed by them.
+Their mistake lies certainly here, in a wretched belief, that their
+mimicry passes for real business, or true wit. Dear sir, convince them,
+that it never was, is, or ever will be, either of them; nor ever did,
+does, or to all futurity ever can, look like either of them; but that it
+is the most cursed disturbance in nature, which is possible to be
+inflicted on mankind, under the noble definition of a sociable creature.
+In doing this, sir, you will oblige more humble servants than can find
+room to subscribe their names."
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, July 6.
+
+In pursuance of my last date from hence, I am to proceed on the accounts
+I promised of several personages among the men, whose conspicuous
+fortunes, or ambition in showing their follies, have exalted them above
+their fellows: the levity of their minds is visible in their every word
+and gesture, and there is not a day passes but puts me in mind of Mr.
+Wycherley's character of a coxcomb: "He is ugly all over with the
+affectation of the fine gentleman." Now though the women may put on
+softness in their looks, or affected severity, or impertinent gaiety, or
+pert smartness, their self-love and admiration cannot, under any of
+these disguises, appear so invincible as that of the men. You may easily
+take notice, that in all their actions there is a secret approbation,
+either in the tone of their voice, the turn of their body, or cast of
+their eye, which shows that they are extremely in their own favour. Take
+one of your men of business, he shall keep you half an hour with your
+hat off, entertaining you with his consideration of that affair you
+spoke of to him last, till he has drawn a crowd that observes you in
+this grimace. Then when he is public enough, he immediately runs into
+secrets, and falls a whispering. You and he make breaks with adverbs;
+as, "But however, thus far"; and then you whisper again, and so on, till
+they who are about you are dispersed, and your busy man's vanity is no
+longer gratified by the notice taken of what importance he is, and how
+inconsiderable you are; for your pretender to business is never in
+secret, but in public. There is my dear Lord Nowhere, of all men the
+most gracious and most obliging, the terror of all _valets-de-chambre_,
+whom he oppresses with good breeding, in inquiring for my good lord, and
+for my good lady's health. This inimitable courtier will whisper a privy
+councillor's lackey with the utmost goodness and condescension, to know
+when they next sit; and is thoroughly taken up, and thinks he has a part
+in a secret, if he knows that there is a secret. "What it is," he will
+whisper you, "that time will discover"; then he shrugs, and calls you
+back again--"Sir, I need not say to you, that these things are not to be
+spoken of--and hark you, no names, I would not be quoted." What adds to
+the jest is, that his emptiness has its moods and seasons, and he will
+not condescend to let you into these his discoveries, except he is in
+very good humour, or has seen somebody in fashion talk to you. He will
+keep his nothing to himself, and pass by and overlook as well as the
+best of them; not observing that he is insolent when he is gracious, and
+obliging when he is haughty. Show me a woman so inconsiderable as this
+frequent character. But my mind (now I am in) turns to many no less
+observable: thou dear Will Shoestring![380] I profess myself in love
+with thee: how shall I speak thee? How shall I address thee? How shall I
+draw thee? Thou dear outside! Will you be combing your wig,[381] playing
+with your box, or picking your teeth? Or choosest thou rather to be
+speaking; to be speaking for thy only purpose in speaking, to show your
+teeth? Rub them no longer, dear Shoestring: do not premeditate murder:
+do not for ever whiten: Oh! that for my quiet and his own they were
+rotten. But I will forget him, and give my hand to the courteous Umbra;
+he is a fine man indeed, but the soft creature bows below my
+apron-string before he takes it; but after the first ceremonies, he is
+as familiar as my physician, and his insignificancy makes me half ready
+to complain to him of all I would to my doctor. But he is so courteous,
+that he carries half the messages of ladies' ails in town to their
+midwives and nurses. He understands too the art of medicine as far as to
+the cure of a pimple or a rash. On occasions of the like importance, he
+is the most assiduous of all men living, in consulting and searching
+precedents from family to family; and then he speaks of his
+obsequiousness and diligence in the style of real services. If you sneer
+at him, and thank him for his great friendship, he bows, and says,
+"Madam, all the good offices in my power, while I have any knowledge or
+credit, shall be at your service." The consideration of so shallow a
+being, and the intent application with which he pursues trifles, has
+made me carefully reflect upon that sort of men we usually call an
+Impertinent: and I am, upon mature deliberation, so far from being
+offended with him, that I am really obliged to him; for though he will
+take you aside, and talk half an hour to you upon matters wholly
+insignificant with the most solemn air, yet I consider, that these
+things are of weight in his imagination, and he thinks he is
+communicating what is for my service. If therefore it be a just rule to
+judge of a man by his intention, according to the equity of good
+breeding, he that is impertinently kind or wise, to do you service,
+ought in return to have a proportionable place both in your affection
+and esteem; so that the courteous Umbra deserves the favour of all his
+acquaintance; for though he never served them, he is ever willing to do
+it, and believes he does it. But as impotent kindness is to be returned
+with all our abilities to oblige, so impotent malice is to be treated
+with all our force to depress it. For this reason Flyblow (who is
+received in all the families in town through the degeneracy and iniquity
+of their manners) is to be treated like a knave, though he is one of the
+weakest of fools: he has by rote, and at second-hand, all that can be
+said of any man of figure, wit, and virtue in town. Name a man of worth,
+and this creature tells you the worst passage of his life. Speak of a
+beautiful woman, and this puppy will whisper the next man to him, though
+he has nothing to say of her. He is a Fly that feeds on the sore part,
+and would have nothing to live on, if the whole body were in health. You
+may know him by the frequency of pronouncing the particle "but"; for
+which reason I never hear him spoke of with common charity, without
+using my "but" against him: for a friend of mine saying the other day,
+Mrs. Distaff has wit, good humour, virtue, and friendship, this oaf
+added, "'But' she is not handsome." Coxcomb! The gentleman was saying
+what I was, not what I was not.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, July 6.
+
+The approaches before Tournay have been carried on with great success;
+and our advices from the camp before that place of the 11th instant say,
+that they had already made a lodgment on the glacis. Two hundred boats
+were come up the Scheldt with a heavy artillery and ammunition, which
+would be employed in dismounting the enemy's defences, and raised on the
+batteries the 15th. A great body of miners are summoned to the camp to
+countermine the works of the enemy. We are convinced of the weakness of
+the garrison, by a certain account, that they called a council of war,
+to consult whether it was not advisable to march into the citadel, and
+leave the town defenceless. We are assured, that when the Confederate
+army was advancing towards the camp of Marshal Villars, that general
+despatched a courier to his master with a letter, giving an account of
+their approach, which concluded with the following words: "The day
+begins to break, and your Majesty's army is already in order of battle.
+Before noon, I hope to have the honour of congratulating your Majesty on
+the success of a great action; and you shall be very well satisfied with
+the Marshal Villars."
+
+It is to be noted, that when any part of this paper appears dull, there
+is a design in it.[382]
+
+
+
+[Footnote 377: See note to No. 36.]
+
+[Footnote 378: A coffee-house in Change Alley. See _Spectator_, No. 1,
+and Mrs. Centlivre's "Bold Stroke for a Wife."]
+
+[Footnote 379: See No. 7.]
+
+[Footnote 380: Sir William Whitlocke, Knt., Member for Oxon, Bencher of
+the Middle Temple. He is the learned knight mentioned in No. 43 (Percy).
+This is confirmed by the MS. annotator mentioned in a note to No. 4.
+Nichols explains that Whitlocke is called Will Shoestring, for his
+singularity in using shoe-strings, so long after the era of
+shoe-buckles, which commenced in the reign of Charles II., although
+ordinary people, and such as affected plainness in their garb, wore
+strings in their shoes after that time.]
+
+[Footnote 381: "Combing the peruke, at the time when men of fashion wore
+large wigs, was even at public places an act of gallantry. The combs,
+for this purpose, were of a very large size, of ivory or tortoise-shell,
+curiously chased and ornamented, and were carried in the pocket as
+constantly as the snuff-box. At Court, on the Mall, and in the boxes,
+gentlemen conversed and combed their perukes "(Sir John Hawkins' "Hist,
+of Music," vol. iv. p. 447, note). Cf. Dryden's prologue to "Almanzor
+and Almahide":--
+
+    "But as when vizard mask appears in pit,
+    Straight every man who thinks himself a wit,
+    Perks up; and managing his comb with grace,
+    With his white wig sets off his nut-brown face."
+
+And "The Fortune Hunters," act i. sc. 2 (1689): "He looked, indeed, and
+sighed, and set his cravat-string, and sighed again, and combed his
+periwig: sighed a third time, and then took snuff, I guess to show the
+whiteness of his hand." See, too, Wycherley's "Love in a Wood," act iii.
+sc. 1:--
+
+"DAPPERWIT. Let me prune and flounce my perruque a little for her;
+there's ne'er a young fellow in the town but will do as much for a mere
+stranger in the play-house.
+
+"RANGER. A wit's wig has the privilege of being uncombed in the very
+play-house, or in the presence--
+
+"DAPPERWIT. But not in the presence of his mistress; 'tis a greater
+neglect of her than himself; pray lend me your comb.... She comes, she
+comes; pray, your comb. (_Snatches_ RANGER'S _comb_.)"]
+
+[Footnote 382: "Mrs. Distaff hath received the Dialogue dated Monday
+evening, which she has sent forward to Mr. Bickerstaff at Maidenhead:
+and in the meantime gives her service to the parties" (folio).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 39. [STEELE.
+
+By ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esq.
+
+From _Thursday, July 7_, to _Saturday, July 9_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Grecian Coffee-house, July 7.
+
+As I am called forth by the immense love I bear to my fellow creatures,
+and the warm inclination I feel within me, to stem, as far as I can, the
+prevailing torrent of vice and ignorance; so I cannot more properly
+pursue that noble impulse, than by setting forth the excellence of
+virtue and knowledge in their native and beautiful colours. For this
+reason I made my late excursion to Oxford, where those qualities appear
+in their highest lustre, and are the only pretences to honour and
+distinction: superiority is there given in proportion to men's
+advancement in wisdom and learning; and that just rule of life is so
+universally received among those happy people, that you shall see an
+earl walk bareheaded to the son of the meanest artificer, in respect to
+seven years more worth and knowledge than the nobleman is possessed of.
+In other places they bow to men's fortunes, but here to their
+understandings. It is not to be expressed, how pleasing the order, the
+discipline, the regularity of their lives, is to a philosopher, who has,
+by many years' experience in the world, learned to contemn everything
+but what is revered in this mansion of select and well-taught spirits.
+The magnificence of their palaces, the greatness of their revenues, the
+sweetness of their groves and retirements, seem equally adapted for the
+residence of princes and philosophers; and a familiarity with objects of
+splendour, as well as places of recess, prepares the inhabitants with an
+equanimity for their future fortunes, whether humble or illustrious. How
+was I pleased when I looked round at St. Mary's, and could, in the faces
+of the ingenious youth, see ministers of state, chancellors, bishops,
+and judges. Here only is human life! Here only the life of man is a
+rational being! Here men understand and are employed in works worthy
+their noble nature. This transitory being passes away in an employment
+not unworthy a future state, the contemplation of the great decrees of
+Providence. Each man lives as if he were to answer the questions made to
+Job, "Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth?... Who
+shut up the sea with doors, ... and said, Hitherto shalt thou come, and
+no further?"[383] Such speculations make life agreeable, make death
+welcome, But alas! I was torn from this noble society by the business of
+this dirty mean world, and the cares of fortune: for I was obliged to be
+in town against the 7th day of the term, and accordingly governed myself
+by my Oxford Almanack, and came last night; but find, to my great
+astonishment, that this ignorant town began the term on the 24th of the
+last month, in opposition to all the learning and astronomy of the
+famous university of which I have been speaking; according to which, the
+term certainly was to commence on the 1st instant.[384] You may be sure,
+a man who has turned his studies as I have, could not be mistaken in
+point of time; for knowing I was to come to town in term, I examined the
+passing moments very narrowly, and called an eminent astronomer to my
+assistance. Upon very strict observation we found, that the cold has
+been so severe this last winter (which is allowed to have a benumbing
+quality), that it retarded the earth in moving round from Christmas to
+this season full seven days and two seconds. My learned friend assured
+me further, that the earth had lately received a shog from a comet that
+crossed its vortex, which, if it had come ten degrees nearer us, had
+made us lose this whole term. I was indeed once of opinion, that the
+Gregorian computation was the most regular, as being eleven days before
+the Julian; but am now fully convinced, that we ought to be seven days
+after the chancellor and judges, and eighteen before the Pope of Rome;
+and that the Oxonian computation is the best of the three. These are the
+reasons which I have gathered from philosophy and nature; to which I can
+add other circumstances in vindication of the account of this learned
+body who published this almanack. It is notorious to philosophers, that
+joy and grief can hasten and delay time. Mr. Locke is of opinion, that a
+man in great misery may so far lose his measure, as to think a minute an
+hour; or in joy, make an hour a minute. Let us examine the present case
+by this rule, and we shall find, that the cause of this general mistake
+in the British nation, has been the great success of the last campaign,
+and the following hopes of peace. Stocks ran so high at the 'Change,
+that the citizens had gained three days of the courtiers; and we have
+indeed been so happy this reign, that if the University did not rectify
+our mistakes, we should think ourselves but in the second year of her
+present Majesty. It would be endless to enumerate the many damages that
+have happened by this ignorance of the vulgar. All the recognisances
+within the Diocese of Oxford have been forfeited, for not appearing on
+the first day of this fictitious term. The University has been nonsuited
+in their action against the booksellers for printing Clarendon in
+quarto. But indeed what gives me the most quick concern, is the case of
+a poor gentleman my friend, who was the other day taken in execution by
+a set of ignorant bailiffs. He should, it seems, have pleaded in the
+first week of term; but being a Master of Arts of Oxford, he would not
+recede from the Oxonian computation. He showed Mr. Broad the almanack,
+and the very day when the term began; but the merciless ignorant fellow,
+against all sense and learning, would hurry him away. He went indeed
+quietly enough; but he has taken exact notes of the time of arrest, and
+sufficient witnesses of his being carried into gaol; and has, by advice
+of the Recorder of Oxford, brought his action; and we doubt not but we
+shall pay them off with damages, and blemish the reputation of Mr.
+Broad. We have one convincing proof, which all that frequent the Courts
+of Justice are witnesses of: the dog that comes constantly to
+Westminster on the first day of the term, did not appear till the first
+day according to the Oxford Almanack; whose instinct I take to be a
+better guide than men's erroneous opinions, which are usually biased by
+interest. I judge in this case, as King Charles II. victualled his navy,
+with the bread which one of his dogs chose of several pieces thrown
+before him, rather than trust to the asseverations of the victuallers.
+Mr. Cowper,[385] and other learned counsel, have already urged the
+authority of this almanack, in behalf of their clients. We shall
+therefore go on with all speed in our cause; and doubt not, but Chancery
+will give at the end what we lost in the beginning, by protracting the
+term for us till Wednesday come se'nnight: and the University orator
+shall for ever pray, &c.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, July 7.
+
+The subject of duels[386] has, I find, been started with so good
+success, that it has been the frequent subject of conversation among
+polite men; and a dialogue of that kind has been transmitted to me
+verbatim, as follows. The persons concerned in it are men of honour, and
+experience in the manners of men, and have fallen upon the truest
+foundation, as well as searched the bottom, of this evil.
+
+Mr. SAGE. If it were in my power, every man that drew his sword, unless
+in the Service, or purely to defend his life, person, or goods, from
+violence (I mean abstracted from all punctos or whims of honour) should
+ride the wooden horse in the Tilt Yard[387] for such first offence, for
+the second stand in the pillory, and for the third be prisoner in Bedlam
+for life.
+
+Col. PLUME. I remember, that a rencounter or duel was so far from being
+in fashion among the officers that served in the Parliament army, that
+on the contrary, it was as disreputable, and as great an impediment to
+advancement in the Service, as being bashful in time of action.
+
+Sir MARK. Yet I have been informed by some old Cavaliers, of famous
+reputation for brave and gallant men, that they were much more in mode
+among their party, than they have been during this last war.
+
+Col. PLUME. That is true too, sir. Mr. SAGE. By what you say,
+gentlemen, one should think that our present military officers are
+compounded of an equal proportion of both those tempers; since duels are
+neither quite discountenanced, nor much in vogue.
+
+Sir MARK. That difference of temper, in regard to duels, which appears
+to have been between the Court and Parliament-men of the sword, was not
+(I conceive) for want of courage in the latter, nor of a liberal
+education; because there were some of the best families in England
+engaged in that party; but gallantry and mode, which glitter agreeably
+to the imagination, were encouraged by the Court, as promoting its
+splendour; and it was as natural that the contrary party (who were to
+recommend themselves to the public for men of serious and solid parts)
+should deviate from everything chimerical.
+
+Mr. SAGE. I have never read of a duel among the Romans; and yet their
+nobility used more liberty with their tongues than one may do now
+without being challenged.
+
+Sir MARK. Perhaps the Romans were of opinion, that ill language, and
+brutal manners, reflected only on those who were guilty of them; and
+that a man's reputation was not at all cleared by cutting the person's
+throat who had reflected upon it: but the custom of those times had
+fixed the scandal in the action; whereas now it lies in the reproach.
+
+Mr. SAGE. And yet the only sort of duel that one can conceive to have
+been fought upon motives truly honourable and allowable, was that
+between the Horatii and Curiatii.
+
+Sir MARK. Colonel Plume, pray what was the method of single combat in
+your time among the Cavaliers? I suppose, that as the use of clothes
+continues, though the fashion of them has been mutable; so duels,
+though still in use, have had in all times their particular modes of
+performance.
+
+Col. PLUME. We had no constant rule, but generally conducted our dispute
+and tilt according to the last that had happened between persons of
+reputation among the very top fellows for bravery and gallantry.
+
+Sir MARK. If the fashion of quarrelling and tilting was so often changed
+in your time, Colonel Plume, a man might fight, yet lose his credit for
+want of understanding the fashion.
+
+Col. PLUME. Why, Sir Mark, in the beginning of July, a man would have
+been censured for want of courage, or been thought indigent of the true
+notions of honour, if he had put up [with] words, which in the end of
+September following, one could not resent without passing for a brutal
+and quarrelsome fellow.
+
+Sir MARK. But, Colonel, were duels or rencounters most in fashion in
+those days?
+
+Col. PLUME. Your men of nice honour, sir, were for avoiding all censure
+of advantage which they supposed might be taken in a rencounter;
+therefore they used seconds, who were to see that all was upon the
+square, and make a faithful report of the whole combat; but in a little
+time it became a fashion for the seconds to fight, and I'll tell you how
+it happened.
+
+Mr. SAGE. Pray do, Colonel Plume, and the method of a duel at that time,
+and give us some notion of the punctos upon which your nice men
+quarrelled in those days.
+
+Col. PLUME. I was going to tell you, Mr. Sage, that one Cornet Modish
+had desired his friend, Captain Smart's, opinion in some affair, but did
+not follow it; upon which Captain Smart sent Major Adroit (a very
+topping fellow of those times) to the person that had slighted his
+advice. The Major never inquired into the quarrel, because it was not
+the manner then among the very topping fellows; but got two swords of an
+equal length, and then waited upon Cornet Modish, desiring him to choose
+his sword, and meet his friend Captain Smart. Cornet Modish came with
+his friend to the place of combat; there the principals put on their
+pumps, and stripped to their shirts, to show they had nothing but what
+men of honour carry about them, and then engaged.
+
+Sir MARK. And did the seconds stand by, sir?
+
+Col. PLUME. It was a received custom till that time; but the swords of
+those days being pretty long, and the principals acting on both sides
+upon the defensive, and the morning being frosty, Major Adroit desired
+that the other second, who was also a very topping fellow, would try a
+thrust or two only to keep them warm, till the principals had decided
+the matter, which was agreed to by Modish's second, who presently
+whipped Adroit through the body, disarmed him, and then parted the
+principals, who had received no harm at all.
+
+Mr. SAGE. But was not Adroit laughed at?
+
+Col. PLUME. On the contrary, the very topping fellows were ever after of
+opinion, that no man who deserved that character, could serve as a
+second, without fighting; and the Smarts and Modishes finding their
+account in it, the humour took without opposition.
+
+Mr. SAGE. Pray, Colonel, how long did that fashion continue?
+
+Col. PLUME, Not long neither, Mr. Sage; for as soon as it became a
+fashion, the very topping fellows thought their honour reflected upon,
+if they did not proffer themselves as seconds when any of their friends
+had a quarrel; so that sometimes there were a dozen of a side.
+
+Sir MARK. Bless me! If that custom had continued, we should have been
+at a loss now for our very pretty fellows; for they seem to be the
+proper men to officer, animate, and keep up an army: but, pray, sir, how
+did that sociable manner of tilting grow out of mode?
+
+Col. PLUME. Why, sir, I'll tell you; it was a law among the combatants,
+that the party which happened to have the first man disarmed or killed,
+should yield as vanquished; which some people thought might encourage
+the Modishes and Smarts in quarrelling, to the destruction of only the
+very topping fellows; and as soon as this reflection was started, the
+very topping fellows thought it an incumbrance upon their honour to
+fight at all themselves. Since that time, the Modishes and the Smarts,
+throughout all Europe, have extolled the French king's edict.
+
+Sir MARK. Our very pretty fellows, whom I take to be the successors of
+the very topping fellows, think a quarrel so little fashionable, that
+they will not be exposed to it by another man's vanity, or want of
+sense.
+
+Mr. SAGE. But, Colonel, I have observed in your account of duels, that
+there was a great exactness in avoiding all advantage that might
+possibly be between the combatants.
+
+Col. PLUME. That's true, sir; for the weapons were always equal.
+
+Mr. SAGE. Yes, sir; but suppose an active, adroit, strong man, had
+insulted an awkward, or a feeble, or an unpractised swordsman.
+
+Col. PLUME. Then, sir, they fought with pistols.
+
+Mr. SAGE. But, sir, there might be a certain advantage that way; for a
+good marksman will be sure to hit his man at twenty yards distance; and
+a man whose hand shakes (which is common to men that debauch in
+pleasures, or have not used pistols out of their holsters) won't
+venture to fire, unless he touches the person he shoots at. Now, sir, I
+am of opinion, that one can get no honour in killing a man (if one has
+it all rug,[388] as the gamesters say), when they have a trick to make
+the game secure, though they seem to play upon the square.
+
+Sir MARK. In truth, Mr. Sage, I think such a fact must be murder in a
+man's own private conscience, whatever it may appear to the world.
+
+Col. PLUME. I have known some men so nice, that they would not fight but
+upon a cloak without pistols.
+
+Mr. SAGE. I believe a custom, well established, would outdo the Grand
+Monarch's edict.[389]
+
+Sir MARK. And bullies would then leave off their long swords; but I
+don't find that a very pretty fellow can stay to change his sword, when
+he is insulted by a bully with a long diego,[390] though his own at the
+same time be no longer than a penknife; which will certainly be the
+case, if such little swords are in mode. Pray, Colonel, how was it
+between the hectors of your time and the very topping fellows?
+
+Col. PLUME. Sir, long swords happened to be generally worn in those
+times.
+
+Mr. SAGE. In answer to what you were saying, Sir Mark, give me leave to
+inform you, that your knights-errant (who were the very pretty fellows
+of those ancient times) thought they could not honourably yield, though
+they had fought their own trusty weapons to the stumps; but would
+venture as boldly with the page's leaden sword, as if it had been of
+enchanted metal. Whence I conceive, there must be a spice of romantic
+gallantry in the composition of that very pretty fellow.
+
+Sir MARK. I am of opinion, Mr. Sage, that fashion governs a very pretty
+fellow; nature, or common sense, your ordinary persons, and sometimes
+men of fine parts.
+
+Mr. SAGE. But what is the reason, that men of the most excellent sense
+and morals (in other points) associate their understandings with the
+very pretty fellows in that chimæra of a duel?
+
+Sir MARK. There's no disputing against so great a majority.
+
+Mr. SAGE. But there is one scruple (Colonel Plume) and I have done:
+don't you believe there may be some advantage even upon a cloak with
+pistols, which a man of nice honour would scruple to take?
+
+Col. PLUME. Faith, I can't tell, sir; but since one may reasonably
+suppose, that (in such a case) there can be but one so far in the wrong
+as to occasion matters to come to that extremity, I think the chance of
+being killed should fall but on one; whereas by their close and
+desperate manner of fighting, it may very probably happen to both.
+
+Sir MARK. Why, gentlemen, if they are men of such nice honour (and must
+fight), there will be no fear of foul play, if they threw up cross or
+pile[391] who should be shot.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 383: Job xxxviii. 4, 8, 11.]
+
+[Footnote 384: There was a difference between the University terms and
+the Law terms.]
+
+[Footnote 385: Spencer Cowper (1669-1727), brother of Earl Cowper, and
+afterwards a judge of the Common Pleas. He was one of the managers of
+the impeachment of Sacheverell in 1710.]
+
+[Footnote 386: See Nos. 25, 26, 29, 31, 38, 205.]
+
+[Footnote 387: At Whitehall.]
+
+[Footnote 388: _Cf._ "Wentworth Papers," p. 394: "June 29, 1714. The
+changes at Court does not go so rug as some people expected and gave
+out, that 'twas to be all intire Tory with the least seeming mixture of
+Whigs."]
+
+[Footnote 389: See _Spectator_, No. 97.]
+
+[Footnote 390: A sword. Don Diego was a familiar name for a Spaniard
+with both English and French writers in the seventeenth century. San
+Diego is a corruption of Santiago (St. James), the patron saint of
+Spain.]
+
+[Footnote 391: A pillar, the design on one side of a coin, bearing on
+the other a cross. Swift says, "This I humbly conceive to be perfect
+boys' play; cross, I win, and pile, you lose."]
+
+
+
+
+No. 40. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, July 9_, to _Tuesday, July 12_, 1709.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, July 11.
+
+Letters from the city of London give an account of a very great
+consternation that place is in at present, by reason of a late inquiry
+made at Guildhall, whether a noble person[392] has parts enough to
+deserve the enjoyment of the great estate of which he is possessed. The
+city is apprehensive that this precedent may go further than was at
+first imagined. The person against whom this inquisition is set up by
+his relations, is a peer of a neighbouring kingdom, and has in his youth
+made some few bulls, by which it is insinuated, that he has forfeited
+his goods and chattels. This is the more astonishing, in that there are
+many persons in the said city who are still more guilty than his
+lordship, and who, though they are idiots, do not only possess, but have
+also themselves acquired great estates, contrary to the known laws of
+this realm, which vests their possessions in the Crown. There is a
+gentleman of this coffee-house at this time exhibiting a bill in
+Chancery against his father's younger brother, who by some strange magic
+has arrived at the value of half a plum, as the citizens call a hundred
+thousand pounds; and in all the time of growing up to that wealth, was
+never known in any of his ordinary words or actions to discover any
+proof of reason. Upon this foundation my friend has set forth, that he
+is illegally master of his coffers, and has writ two epigrams to signify
+his own pretensions and sufficiency for spending that estate. He has
+inserted in his plea some things which I fear will give offence; for he
+pretends to argue, that though a man has a little of the knave mixed
+with the fool, he is nevertheless liable to the loss of goods; and makes
+the abuse of reason as just an avoidance of an estate as the total
+absence of it. This is what can never pass; but witty men are so full of
+themselves, that there is no persuading them; and my friend will not be
+convinced, but that upon quoting Solomon, who always used the word
+"fool" as a term of the same signification with "unjust," and makes all
+deviation from goodness and virtue to come under the notion of folly--I
+say, he doubts not, but by the force of this authority, let his idiot
+uncle appear never so great a knave, he shall prove him a fool at the
+same time. This affair led the company here into an examination of these
+points; and none coming here but wits, what was asserted by a young
+lawyer, that a lunatic is in the care of the Chancery, but a fool in
+that of the Crown, was received with general indignation. "Why that?"
+says old Renault. "Why that? Why must a fool be a courtier more than a
+madman? This is the iniquity of this dull age: I remember the time when
+it went on the mad side; all your top wits were scowrers,[393] rakes,
+roarers, and demolishers of windows. I remember a mad lord who was drunk
+five years together, and was the envy of that age, and is faintly
+imitated by the dull pretenders to vice and madness in this. Had he
+lived to this day, there had not been a fool in fashion in the whole
+kingdom." When Renault had done speaking, a very worthy man assumed the
+discourse: "This is," said he, "Mr. Bickerstaff, a proper argument for
+you to treat in your article from this place; and if you would send your
+Pacolet into all our brains, you would find, that a little fibre or
+valve, scarce discernible, makes the distinction between a politician
+and an idiot. We should therefore throw a veil upon those unhappy
+instances of human nature, who seem to breathe without the direction of
+reason and understanding, as we should avert our eyes with abhorrence
+from such as live in perpetual abuse and contradiction to these noble
+faculties. Shall this unfortunate man be divested of his estate, because
+he is tractable and indolent, runs in no man's debt, invades no man's
+bed, nor spends the estate he owes his children and his character; when
+one who shows no sense above him, but in such practices, shall be
+esteemed in his senses, and possibly may pretend to the guardianship of
+him who is no ways his inferior, but in being less wicked? We see old
+age brings us indifferently into the same impotence of soul, wherein
+nature has placed this lord. There is something very fantastical in the
+distribution of civil power and capacity among men. The law certainly
+gives these persons into the ward and care of the Crown, because that is
+best able to protect them from injuries, and the impositions of craft
+and knavery; that the life of an idiot may not ruin the entail of a
+noble house, and his weakness may not frustrate the industry or capacity
+of the founder of his family. But when one of bright parts, as we say,
+with his eyes open, and all men's eyes upon him, destroys those
+purposes, there is no remedy. Folly and ignorance are punished! Folly
+and guilt are tolerated! Mr. Locke has somewhere made a distinction
+between a madman and a fool:[394] a fool is he that from right
+principles makes a wrong conclusion; but a madman is one who draws a
+just inference from false principles. Thus the fool who cut off the
+fellow's head that lay asleep, and hid it, and then waited to see what
+he would say when he awakened and missed his headpiece, was in the right
+in the first thought, that a man would be surprised to find such an
+alteration in things since he fell asleep; but he was a little mistaken
+to imagine he could awake at all after his head was off. A madman
+fancies himself a prince; but upon his mistake, he acts suitably to that
+character; and though he is out in supposing he has principalities,
+while he drinks gruel, and lies in straw, yet you shall see him keep the
+port of a distressed monarch in all his words and actions. These two
+persons are equally taken into custody: but what must be done to half
+this good company, who every hour of their life are knowingly and
+wittingly both fools and madmen, and yet have capacities both of forming
+principles, and drawing conclusions, with the full use of reason?"
+
+
+From my own Apartment, July 11.
+
+This evening some ladies came to visit my sister Jenny; and the
+discourse, after very many frivolous and public matters, turned upon the
+main point among the women, the passion of love.[395] Sappho, who always
+leads on this occasion, began to show her reading, and told us, that Sir
+John Suckling and Milton had, upon a parallel occasion, said the
+tenderest things she had ever read. "The circumstance," said she, "is
+such as gives us a notion of that protecting part which is the duty of
+men in their honourable designs upon, or possession of, women. In
+Suckling's tragedy of 'Brennoralt' he makes the lover steal into his
+mistress's bedchamber, and draw the curtains; then, when his heart is
+full of her charms, as she lies sleeping, instead of being carried away
+by the violence of his desires into thoughts of a warmer nature, sleep,
+which is the image of death, gives this generous lover reflections of a
+different kind, which regard rather her safety than his own passion.
+For, beholding her as she lies sleeping, he utters these words:
+
+    _"So misers look upon their gold,
+    Which, while they joy to see, they fear to lose:
+    The pleasure of the sight scarce equalling
+    The jealousy of being dispossessed by others.
+    Her face is like the Milky Way i' th' sky,
+    A meeting of gentle lights without name!
+
+    "Heavens I shall this fresh ornament of the world,
+    These precious love-lines, pass with other common things
+    Amongst the wastes of time? what pity 'twere!_[396]
+
+"When Milton makes Adam leaning on his arm, beholding Eve, and lying in
+the contemplation of her beauty, he describes the utmost tenderness and
+guardian affection in one word:
+
+    "_Adam with looks of cordial love
+    Hung over her enamoured._[397]
+
+"This is that sort of passion which truly deserves the name of 'love,'
+and has something more generous than friendship itself; for it has a
+constant care of the object beloved, abstracted from its own interests
+in the possession of it." Sappho was proceeding on the subject, when my
+sister produced a letter sent to her in the time of my absence, in
+celebration of the marriage state, which is the condition wherein only
+this sort of passion reigns in full authority. The epistle is as
+follows:
+
+"DEAR MADAM,
+
+"Your brother being absent, I dare take the liberty of writing to you my
+thoughts of that state, which our whole sex either is or desires to be
+in: you'll easily guess I mean matrimony, which I hear so much decried,
+that it was with no small labour I maintained my ground against two
+opponents; but, as your brother observed of Socrates, I drew them into
+my conclusion from their own concessions; thus:
+
+    _"In marriage are two happy things allowed,
+    A wife in wedding-sheets, and in a shroud.
+    How can a marriage state then be accursed,
+    Since the last day's as happy as the first?_
+
+"If you think they were too easily confuted, you may conclude them not
+of the first sense, by their talking against marriage.
+
+"Yours,
+
+                                        "MARIANA."
+
+I observed Sappho began to redden at this epistle; and turning to a
+lady, who was playing with a dog she was so fond of as to carry him
+abroad with her; "Nay," says she, "I cannot blame the men if they have
+mean ideas of our souls and affections, and wonder so many are brought
+to take us for companions for life, when they see our endearments so
+triflingly placed: for, to my knowledge, Mr. Truman would give half his
+estate for half the affection you have shown to that Shock: nor do I
+believe you would be ashamed to confess, that I saw you cry, when he had
+the colic last week with lapping sour milk. What more could you do for
+your lover himself?" "What more!" replied the lady, "there is not a man
+in England for whom I could lament half so much." Then she stifled the
+animal with kisses, and called him, Beau, Life, Dear, Monsieur, Pretty
+Fellow, and what not, in the hurry of her impertinence. Sappho rose up;
+as she always does at anything she observes done, which discovers in her
+own sex a levity of mind, which renders them inconsiderable in the
+opinion of others.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, July 11.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 16th instant, N.S., say, that the siege of
+Tournay went on with all imaginable success; and that there has been no
+manner of stop given to the attempts of the Confederates since they
+undertook it, except that by an accident of firing a piece of ordnance,
+it burst, and killed fifteen or sixteen men. The French army is still
+in the camp of Lens, and goes on in improving their entrenchments. When
+the last advices came away, it was believed the town of Tournay would be
+in the hands of the Confederates by the end of this month. Advices from
+Brussels inform us, that they have an account of a great action between
+the malcontents in the Vivarez, and the French king's forces under the
+command of the Duke of Roquelaure, in which engagement there were
+eighteen hundred men killed on the spot. They add, that all sorts of
+people who are under any oppression or discontent do daily join the
+Vivarois; and that their present body of men in arms consisted of six
+thousand. This sudden insurrection has put the Court of France under
+great difficulties; and the king has given orders, that the main body of
+his troops in Spain shall withdraw into his own dominions, where they
+are to be quartered in such countries as have of late discovered an
+inclination to take up arms: the calamities of that kingdom being such,
+that the people are not by any means to be kept in obedience, except by
+the terror of military execution. What makes the distresses still
+greater, is, that the Court begins to be doubtful of their troops, some
+regiments in the action in the Cevennes having faced about against their
+officers; and after the battle was over, joined the malcontents. Upon
+receiving advice of this battle, the Duke of Berwick detached twelve
+battalions into those parts, and began to add new works to his
+entrenchments near Briançon, in order to defend his camp, after being
+weakened by sending so great a reinforcement into the Cevennes. Letters
+from Spain say, that the Duchess of Anjou was lately delivered of a
+second son. They write from Madrid of the 25th of June, that the
+blockade of Olivenza was continued; but acknowledge, that the late
+provisions which were thrown into the place, make them doubt whether
+they shall be masters of it this campaign; though it is at present so
+closely blocked up, that it appears impracticable to send in any more
+stores or succours. They are preparing with all expedition to repair the
+fortifications of Alicante, for the security of the kingdom of Valencia.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 392: It appears from Luttrell's "Brief Relation," that in Feb.
+1707, Commissioners sat in the Exchequer Room at Westminster to try
+whether Viscount Wenman, "aged 19, of £5000 per annum estate in
+Oxfordshire," were an idiot or not. On the 14th February the Commission
+was superseded. In June 1709, a new Commission passed the Great Seal for
+inquiring into the Viscount's idiocy, and on July 29 they found that he
+was no idiot. On July 12, Peter Wentworth wrote thus to Lord Raby: "The
+prosecution of Lord Wainman is now order'd again, upon wch the _Tatler_
+is to day; the accation I am told is this, that last year when there was
+a stopt put to't 'twas upon the intercession lady Wainman the mother
+made to the Queen, and that she designed to marry her son, the fool, to
+Sir John Packington's daughter, 'twas then said that my Lady her self
+had married her Butler, wch the Queen desired her to tell the truth, and
+she did assure the Queen upon her word and honour,'twas false, and she
+never intended any such thing, but of late she has own her marriage to
+that same Butler, and put off the match with Sir John P----daughter, and
+married him to her husband's sister, wch they say the Queen is angry at
+and therefore this fresh prosecution is order'd" ("Wentworth Papers," p.
+93). Lord Wenman, the fifth Viscount, was born in 1687, married
+Susannah, daughter of Seymour Wroughton, Esq., in 1709, and died in
+1729. Lord Wenman's brother-in-law, Francis Wroughton, was also his
+father-in-law, for he had married, in 1699, as her third husband, the
+Viscount's mother, the Countess of Abingdon.]
+
+[Footnote 393: The Scowrers and Roarers were the forerunners of the
+Mohocks of 1712. Shadwell wrote a play called "The Scowrers," and often
+alludes to the window-breakers of his time. See Gay's "Trivia," iii.
+325:
+
+    "Who has not heard the Scowrer's midnight fame?
+    Who has not trembled at the Mohock's name?"
+]
+
+[Footnote 394: "Essay concerning Human Understanding," chap. xii. sect.
+14.]
+
+[Footnote 395: See Nos. 6, 35.]
+
+[Footnote 396: "Brennoralt," act iii.]
+
+[Footnote 397: "Paradise Lost," iv. 12, 13.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 41. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, July 12_, to _Thursday, July 14_, 1709.
+
+    Celebrare domestica facta.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, July 12.
+
+There is no one thing more to be lamented in our nation, than their
+general affectation of everything that is foreign; nay, we carry it so
+far, that we are more anxious for our own countrymen when they have
+crossed the seas, than when we see them in the same dangerous condition
+before our eyes at home: else how is it possible, that on the 29th of
+the last month, there should have been a battle fought in our very
+streets of London, and nobody at this end of the town have heard of it?
+I protest, I, who make it my business to inquire after adventures,
+should never have known this, had not the following account been sent me
+enclosed in a letter. This, it seems, is the way of giving out of orders
+in the Artillery Company;[398] and they prepare for a day of action with
+so little concern, as only to call it, "An Exercise of Arms."
+
+"An Exercise at Arms of the Artillery Company, to be performed on
+Wednesday, June 29, 1709, under the command of Sir Joseph Woolfe, Knight
+and Alderman, General; Charles Hopson, Esquire, present Sheriff,
+Lieutenant-General; Captain Richard Synge, Major; Major John Shorey,
+Captain of Grenadiers; Captain William Grayhurst, Captain John Buttler,
+Captain Robert Carellis, Captains.
+
+"The body march from the Artillery Ground through Moorgate, Coleman
+Street, Lothbury, Broad Street, Finch Lane, Cornhill, Cheapside, St.
+Martin's, St. Anne's Lane, halt the pikes under the wall in Noble
+Street, draw up the firelocks facing the Goldsmiths' Hall, make ready
+and face to the left, and fire, and so ditto three times. Beat to arms,
+and march round the hall, as up Lad Lane, Gutter Lane, Honey Lane, and
+so wheel to the right, and make your salute to my lord, and so down St.
+Anne's Lane, up Aldersgate Street, Barbican, and draw up in Red Cross
+Street, the right at St. Paul's Alley in the rear. March off
+Lieutenant-General with half the body up Beech Lane: he sends a
+subdivision up King's Head Court, and takes post in it, and marches two
+divisions round into Red Lion Market, to defend that pass, and succour
+the division in King's Head Court, but keeps in White Cross Street,
+facing Beech Lane, the rest of the body ready drawn up. Then the General
+marches up Beech Lane, is attacked, but forces the division in the court
+into the market, and enters with three divisions while he presses the
+Lieutenant-General's main body; and at the same time, the three
+divisions force those of the revolters out of the market, and so all the
+Lieutenant-General's body retreats into Chiswell Street, and lodges two
+divisions in Grub Street; and as the General marches on, they fall on
+his flank, but soon made to give way; but having a retreating place in
+Red Lion Court, but could not hold it, being put to flight through
+Paul's Alley, and pursued by the General's grenadiers, while he marches
+up and attacks their main body, but are opposed again by a party of men
+as lay in Black Raven Court; but they are forced also to retire soon in
+the utmost confusion; and at the same time those brave divisions in
+Paul's Alley ply their rear with grenadiers, that with precipitation
+they take to the rout along Bunhill Row: so the General marches into the
+Artillery Ground, and being drawn up, finds the revolting party to have
+found entrance, and makes a show as if for a battle, and both armies
+soon engage in form, and fire by platoons."
+
+Much might be said for the improvement of this system; which, for its
+style and invention, may instruct generals and their historians, both in
+fighting a battle, and describing it when it is over. These elegant
+expressions, "Ditto," "And so," "But soon," "But having," "But could
+not," "But are," "But they," "Finds the party to have found," &c., do
+certainly give great life and spirit to the relation. Indeed I am
+extremely concerned for the Lieutenant-General, who, by his overthrow
+and defeat, is made a deplorable instance of the fortune of war, and
+vicissitudes of human affairs. He, alas! has lost in Beech Lane and
+Chiswell Street, all the glory he lately gained in and about Holborn and
+St. Giles's. The art of subdividing first, and dividing afterwards, is
+new and surprising; and according to this method, the troops are
+disposed in King's Head Court and Red Lion Market: nor is the conduct of
+these leaders less conspicuous in their choice of the ground or field of
+battle. Happy was it, that the greatest part of the achievements of this
+day was to be performed near Grub Street,[399] that there might not be
+wanting a sufficient number of faithful historians, who being
+eye-witnesses of these wonders, should impartially transmit them to
+posterity: but then it can never be enough regretted, that we are left
+in the dark as to the name and title of that extraordinary hero who
+commanded the divisions in Paul's Alley; especially because those
+divisions are justly styled brave, and accordingly were to push the
+enemy along Bunhill Row, and thereby occasion a general battle. But
+Pallas appeared in the form of a shower of rain, and prevented the
+slaughter and desolation which were threatened by these extraordinary
+preparations.
+
+    _Hi motus animorum atque hæc certamina tanta
+    Pulveris exigui jactu compressa quiescunt._[400]
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, July 13.
+
+Some part of the company keep up the old way of conversation in this
+place, which usually turned upon the examination of nature, and an
+inquiry into the manners of men. There is one in the room so very
+judicious, that he manages impertinents with the utmost dexterity. It
+was diverting this evening to hear a discourse between him and one of
+these gentlemen. He told me before that person joined us, that he was a
+questioner, who, according to his description, is one who asks
+questions, not with a design to receive information, but an affectation
+to show his uneasiness for want of it. He went on in asserting, that
+there are crowds of that modest ambition, as to aim no farther than to
+demonstrate that they are in doubt. But by this time Will Why-not was
+sat down by us. "So, gentlemen," says he, "in how many days, think you,
+shall we be masters of Tournay? Is the account of the action of the
+Vivarois to be depended upon? Could you have imagined England had so
+much money in it, as you see it has produced? Pray, sirs, what do you
+think? Will the Duke of Savoy make an eruption into France? But," says
+he, "time will clear all these mysteries." His answer to himself gave me
+the altitude of his head, and to all his questions I thus answered very
+satisfactorily: "Sir, have you heard that this Slaughterford[401] never
+owned the fact for which he died? Have the newspapers mentioned that
+matter? But, pray, can you tell me what method will be taken to provide
+for these Palatines?[402] But this, as you say, time will clear." "Ay,
+ay," says he, and whispers me, "they will never let us into these things
+beforehand." I whispered him again, "We shall know it as soon as there
+is a proclamation." He tells me in the other ear, "You are in the right
+of it." Then he whispered my friend to know what my name was; then made
+an obliging bow, and went to examine another table. This led my friend
+and me to weigh this wandering manner in many other incidents, and he
+took out of his pockets several little notes or tickets to solicit for
+votes to employments: as, "Mr. John Taplash having served all offices,
+and being reduced to great poverty, desires your vote for singing clerk
+of this parish." Another "has had ten children, all whom his wife has
+suckled herself; therefore humbly desires to be a schoolmaster." There
+is nothing so frequent as this way of application for offices. It is not
+that you are fit for the place, but because the place would be
+convenient for you, that you claim a merit to it. But commend me to the
+great Kirleus,[403] who has lately set up for midwifery, and to help
+childbirth, for no other reason, but that he is himself the Unborn
+Doctor. The way is to hit upon something that puts the vulgar upon the
+stare, or that touches their compassion, which is often the weakest part
+about us. I know a good lady, who has taken her daughters from their old
+dancing-master, to place them with another, for no other reason, but
+because the new man has broke his leg, which is so ill set, that he can
+never dance more.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, July 13.
+
+As it is a frequent mortification to me to receive letters, wherein
+people tell me, without a name, they know I meant them in such and such
+a passage; so that very accusation is an argument, that there are such
+beings in human life, as fall under our description and our discourse,
+is not altogether fantastical and groundless. But in this case I am
+treated as I saw a boy was the other day, who gave out poxy bills: every
+plain fellow took it that passed by, and went on his way without further
+notice: at last came one with his nose a little abridged; who knocks the
+lad down, with a, "Why, you son of a w----e, do you think I am p----d?"
+But Shakespeare has made the best apology for this way of talking
+against the public errors: he makes Jaques, in the play called "As You
+Like It," express himself thus:
+
+    _Why, who cries out on pride,
+    That can therein tax any private party?
+    What woman in the city do I name,
+    When that I say the city woman bears
+    The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders?
+    Who can come in and say that I mean her,
+    When such a one as she, such is her neighbour?
+    Or, what is he of basest function,
+    That says his bravery is not on my cost?
+    Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits
+    His folly to the mettle of my speech.
+    There then! How then? Then let me see wherein
+    My tongue hath wronged him: if it do him right,
+    Then he hath wronged himself: if he be free,
+    Why then my taxing like a wild goose flies,
+    Unclaimed of any man._[404]
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, July 13.
+
+We have received, by letters of the 18th instant from the camp before
+Tournay, an account, that we were in a fair prospect of being masters of
+the town within seven days after that date. Our batteries had utterly
+overthrown those of the enemy. On the 16th instant, N.S., General
+Schuylemburg had made a lodgment on the counterscarp of the Tenaille;
+which post was so weakly defended, that we lost but six men in gaining
+it. So that there seems reason to hope, that the citadel will also be in
+the hands of the Confederates about the 6th of August, O.S. These
+advices inform us further, that Marshal Villars had ordered large
+detachments to make motions towards Douay and Condé. The swift progress
+of this siege has so much alarmed the other frontier towns of France,
+that they were throwing down some houses in the suburbs of Valenciennes,
+which they think may stand commodiously for the enemy in case that place
+should be invested. The Elector of Cologne is making all imaginable
+haste to remove from thence to Rheims.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 398: See Nos. 28, 38.]
+
+[Footnote 399: Grub Street, Cripplegate (now Milton Street), became,
+towards the end of the seventeenth century, the abode of what Johnson
+calls "writers of small histories, dictionaries and temporary poems;
+whence any mean production is called Grub Street."]
+
+[Footnote 400: Virgil, "Georgics," iv. 86.]
+
+[Footnote 401: The _Flying Post_ records that one Slaughterford was
+sentenced to death on July 2, 1709, for murdering his sweetheart.]
+
+[Footnote 402: See Nos. 24, 51.]
+
+[Footnote 403: See No. 14.]
+
+[Footnote 404: "As You Like It," act ii. sc. 7.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 42. [STEELE AND ADDISON.
+
+From _Thursday, July 14, to Saturday, July 16_, 1709.
+
+    Celebrare domestica facta.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, July 15.
+
+Looking over some old papers, I found a little treatise, written by my
+great-grandfather, concerning bribery, and thought his manner of
+treating that subject not unworthy my remark. He there has a digression
+concerning a possibility, that in some circumstances a man may receive
+an injury, and yet be conscious to himself that he deserves it. There
+are abundance of fine things said on the subject; but the whole wrapped
+up in so much jingle and pun (which was the wit of those times) that it
+is scarce intelligible; but I thought the design was well enough in the
+following sketch of the old gentleman's poetry: for in this case, where
+two are rivals for the same thing, and propose to attain it by presents,
+he that attempts the judge's honesty, by making him offers of reward,
+ought not to complain when he loses his cause for a better bidder. But
+the good old doggerel runs thus:[405]
+
+    _A poor man once a judge besought,
+      To judge aright his cause,
+    And with a pot of oil salutes
+      This judger of the laws.
+
+    "My friend" quoth he, "thy cause is good":
+      He glad away did trudge;
+    Anon his wealthy foe did come
+      Before this partial judge.
+
+    An hog well fed this churl presents,
+      And craves a strain of law;
+    The hog received, the poor man's right
+      Was judged not worth a straw.
+
+    Therewith he cried, "O! partial judge,
+      Thy doom has me undone;
+    When oil I gave, my cause was good,
+      But now to ruin run."
+
+    "Poor man" quoth he, "I thee forgot,
+      And see thy cause of foil;
+    An hog came since into my house,
+      And broke thy pot of oil."_
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, July 15.
+
+The discourse happened this evening to fall upon characters drawn in
+plays, and a gentleman remarked, that there was no method in the world
+of knowing the taste of an age, or period of time so good, as by the
+observations of the persons represented in their comedies. There were
+several instances produced, as Ben Jonson's bringing in a fellow smoking
+as a piece of foppery;[406] "But," said the gentleman who entertained us
+on this subject, "this matter is nowhere so observable as in the
+difference of the characters of women on the stage in the last age, and
+in this. It is not to be supposed that it was a poverty of genius in
+Shakespeare, that his women made so small a figure in his dialogues; but
+it certainly is, that he drew women as they then were in life; for that
+sex had not in those days that freedom in conversation; and their
+characters were only, that they were mothers, sisters, daughters, and
+wives. There were not then among the ladies, shining wits, politicians,
+virtuosas, free-thinkers, and disputants; nay, there was then hardly
+such a creature even as a coquette: but vanity had quite another turn,
+and the most conspicuous woman at that time of day was only the best
+housewife. Were it possible to bring into life an assembly of matrons of
+that age, and introduce the learned Lady Woodby into their company, they
+would not believe the same nation could produce a creature so unlike
+anything they ever saw in it. But these ancients would be as much
+astonished to see in the same age so illustrious a pattern to all who
+love things praiseworthy, as the divine Aspasia.[407] Methinks, I now
+see her walking in her garden like our first parent, with unaffected
+charms, before beauty had spectators, and bearing celestial conscious
+virtue in her aspect. Her countenance is the lively picture of her mind,
+which is the seat of honour, truth, compassion, knowledge, and
+innocence.
+
+    _There dwells the scorn of vice and pity too._
+
+In the midst of the most ample fortune, and veneration of all that
+behold and know her, without the least affectation, she consults
+retirement, the contemplation of her own being, and that supreme power
+which bestowed it. Without the learning of schools, or knowledge of a
+long course of arguments, she goes on in a steady course of
+uninterrupted piety and virtue, and adds to the severity and privacy of
+the last age all the freedom and ease of this. The language and mien of
+a Court she is possessed of in the highest degree; but the simplicity
+and humble thoughts of a cottage, are her more welcome entertainments.
+Aspasia is a female philosopher, who does not only live up to the
+resignation of the most retired lives of the ancient sages, but also to
+the schemes and plans which they thought beautiful, though inimitable.
+This lady is the most exact economist, without appearing busy; the most
+strictly virtuous, without tasting the praise of it; and shuns applause
+with as much industry, as others do reproach. This character is so
+particular, that it will very easily be fixed on her only, by all that
+know her: but I daresay, she will be the last that finds it out. But,
+alas! if we have one or two such ladies, how many dozens are there like
+the restless Poluglossa, who is acquainted with all the world but
+herself; who has the appearance of all, and possession of no one virtue:
+she has indeed in her practice the absence of vice; but her discourse is
+the continual history of it; and it is apparent, when she speaks of the
+criminal gratifications of others, that her innocence is only a
+restraint, with a certain mixture of envy. She is so perfectly opposite
+to the character of Aspasia, that as vice is terrible to her only as it
+is the object of reproach, so virtue is agreeable only as it is attended
+with applause.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, July 15.
+
+It is now twelve o'clock at noon, and no mail come in; therefore I am
+not without hopes, that the town will allow me the liberty which my
+brother news-writers take, in giving them what may be for their
+information in another kind, and indulge me in doing an act of
+friendship, by publishing the following account of goods and
+movables.[408]
+
+This is to give notice, that a magnificent palace, with great variety of
+gardens, statues, and waterworks, may be bought cheap in Drury Lane;
+where there are likewise several castles to be disposed of, very
+delightfully situated; as also groves, woods, forests, fountains, and
+country seats, with very pleasant prospects on all sides of them; being
+the movables of Ch----r R----ch,[409] Esq.; who is breaking up
+housekeeping, and has many curious pieces of furniture to dispose of,
+which may be seen between the hours of six and ten in the evening.
+
+#The INVENTORY.#
+
+    Spirits of right Nantes brandy, for lambent flames and apparitions.
+
+    Three bottles and a half of lightning.
+
+    One shower of snow in the whitest French paper.
+
+    Two showers of a browner sort.
+
+    A sea, consisting of a dozen large waves; the tenth bigger than
+    ordinary, and a little damaged.
+
+    A dozen and a half of clouds, trimmed with black, and well
+    conditioned.
+
+    A rainbow a little faded.
+
+    A set of clouds after the French mode, streaked with lightning, and
+    furbelowed.
+
+    A new-moon, something decayed.
+
+    A pint of the finest Spanish wash, being all that is left of two
+    hogsheads sent over last winter.
+
+    A coach very finely gilt, and little used, with a pair of dragons,
+    to be sold cheap.
+
+    A setting sun, a pennyworth.[410]
+
+    An imperial mantle, made for Cyrus the Great, and worn by Julius
+    Cæsar, Bajazet, King Harry the Eighth, and Signior Valentin.[411]
+
+    A basket-hilt sword, very convenient to carry milk in.
+
+    Roxana's night-gown.
+
+    Othello's handkerchief.
+
+    The imperial robes of Xerxes, never worn but once.
+
+    A wild-boar, killed by Mrs. Tofts[412] and Dioclesian.
+
+    A serpent to sting Cleopatra.
+
+    A mustard-bowl to make thunder with.
+
+    Another of a bigger sort, by Mr. D----is's directions, little
+    used.[413]
+
+    Six elbow-chairs, very expert in country-dances, with six
+    flower-pots for their partners.
+
+    The whiskers of a Turkish bassa.
+
+    The complexion of a murderer in a band-box; consisting of a large
+    piece of burnt cork, and a coal-black peruke.
+
+    A suit of clothes for a ghost, viz., a bloody shirt, a doublet
+    curiously pinked, and a coat with three great eyelet-holes upon the
+    breast.
+
+    A bale of red Spanish wool.
+
+    Modern plots, commonly known by the name of trapdoors, ladders of
+    ropes, vizard-masks, and tables with broad carpets over them.
+
+    Three oak cudgels, with one of crab-tree; all bought for the use of
+    Mr. Pinkethman.
+
+    Materials for dancing; as masks, castanets, and a ladder of ten
+    rounds.
+
+    Aurengezebe's scimitar, made by Will Brown in Piccadilly.
+
+    A plume of feathers, never used but by Oedipus and the Earl of
+    Essex.
+
+There are also swords, halberts, sheep-hooks, cardinals' hats, turbans,
+drums, gallipots, a gibbet, a cradle, a rack, a cart-wheel, an altar, a
+helmet, a back-piece, a breast-plate, a bell, a tub, and a jointed
+baby.[414]
+
+These are the hard shifts we intelligencers are forced to; therefore our
+readers ought to excuse us, if a westerly wind blowing for a fortnight
+together, generally fills every paper with an order of battle; when we
+show our martial skill in each line, and, according to the space we have
+to fill, we range our men in squadrons and battalions, or draw out
+company by company, and troop by troop; ever observing, that no muster
+is to be made, but when the wind is in a cross point, which often
+happens at the end of a campaign, when half the men are deserted or
+killed. The _Courant_ is sometimes ten deep, his ranks close: the
+_Postboy_[415] is generally in files, for greater exactness; and the
+_Postman_ comes down upon you rather after the Turkish way, sword in
+hand, pell-mell, without form or discipline; but sure to bring men
+enough into the field; and wherever they are raised, never to lose a
+battle for want of numbers.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 405: From George Whetstone's "English Mirror," 1586.]
+
+[Footnote 406: See "Every Man out of his Humour," act ii. sc. 1.]
+
+[Footnote 407: Lady Elizabeth Hastings, unquestionably one of the most
+accomplished and virtuous characters of the age in which she lived, was
+the daughter of Theophilus Hastings, the 7th Earl of Huntingdon, and of
+Elizabeth, eldest daughter and co-heiress to John Lewes, of Ledstone, in
+Yorkshire, Knt. and Bart. Her father succeeded to the honours and estate
+of the family, Feb. 13, 1655, and was in 1687 Lord Chief Justice, and
+Justice in Eyre of all the King's forests, &c., beyond Trent; Lord
+Lieutenant of the counties of Leicester and Derby; Captain of the Band
+of Gentlemen Pensioners, and of the Privy Council to King James II. He
+died suddenly at his lodgings in Charles Street, St. James's, May 13,
+1701, and was succeeded in his honours and estate by his son, and her
+brother, Charles, who died unmarried, Feb. 22, 1704. Lady Elizabeth
+Hastings was born April 19, 1682, and died Dec. 22, 1739. It is said,
+with great probability, that since the commencement of the Christian
+era, scarce any age has produced a lady of such high birth and superior
+accomplishments, that was a greater blessing to many, or a brighter
+pattern to all. There is an admirable sketch of this illustrious lady's
+character, drawn soon after her death, in the tenth volume of the
+_Gentleman's Magazine_, p. 36, probably by Samuel Johnson. See also "An
+historical Character relating to the holy and exemplary Life of the
+Right Honourable the Lady Elisabeth Hastings, &c. By Thomas Barnard,
+A.M. Printed at Leeds, in 1742, 12mo" (Nichols).--Lady Elizabeth
+Hastings, who came into a fortune upon the death of her brother George,
+Earl of Huntingdon, settled at Ledstone House, where she was the Lady
+Bountiful of the neighbourhood. Her whole estate, however, is said to
+have been less than £3000 a year. The best of the clergy of the day were
+among her friends. She helped Berkeley in his Bermuda Mission scheme,
+and she befriended Miss Mary Astell. Ralph Thoresby, who visited her,
+was "extremely pleased with the most agreeable conversation of the pious
+and excellent Lady Elizabeth Hastings." ("Diary," ii. 82). She was one
+of the numerous eligible ladies that the friends of Lord Raby,
+afterwards Earl of Strafford, suggested to him as a suitable wife
+("Wentworth Papers," pp. 29, 56). The character of Aspasia in this paper
+has been attributed to Congreve, on the ground, apparently, that he knew
+Lady Elizabeth Hastings' half-brother, Theophilus, afterwards Earl of
+Huntingdon. See No. 49, note.]
+
+[Footnote 408: The remainder of this paper is by Addison; see Steele's
+Preface. Drury Lane Theatre was closed by an order of the Lord
+Chamberlain, as mentioned in No. 30.]
+
+[Footnote 409: Christopher Rich.]
+
+[Footnote 410: A bargain.]
+
+[Footnote 411: Valentini Urbani sang in Italian in the opera of
+"Camilla," in 1707. His acting seems to have been better than his voice
+(Burney's "History of Music," iv. 208).]
+
+[Footnote 412: See No. 20.]
+
+[Footnote 413: John Dennis's unsuccessful tragedy of "Appius and
+Virginia" was produced in 1709. On that occasion he introduced a new
+method of making thunder (see "Dunciad," ii. 226), which was found
+useful by managers. Afterwards, when Dennis found his invention being
+used in "Macbeth," he exclaimed, "'Sdeath! that's my thunder. See how
+the fellows use me, they have silenced my tragedy, and they roar out my
+thunder" (Oldys, MS. notes on Langbaine).]
+
+[Footnote 414: "Baby" was often used for "doll."]
+
+[Footnote 415: See No. 18.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 43. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, July 16_, to _Tuesday, July 19_, 1709.
+
+    Bene nummatum decorat suadela Venusque,
+                                            HOR. 1 Ep. vi. 38.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, July 18.
+
+I write from hence at present to complain, that wit and merit are so
+little encouraged by people of rank and quality, that the wits of the
+age are obliged to run within Temple Bar for patronage. There is a
+deplorable instance of this in the case of Mr. D----y,[416] who has
+dedicated his inimitable comedy, called, "The Modern Prophets," to a
+worthy knight,[417] to whom, it seems, he had before communicated his
+plan, which was, to ridicule the ridiculous of our established doctrine.
+I have elsewhere celebrated the contrivance of this excellent drama; but
+was not, till I read the dedication, wholly let into the religious
+design of it. I am afraid it has suffered discontinuance at this gay end
+of the town, for no other reason but the piety of the purpose. There is
+however in this epistle the true life of panegyrical performance; and I
+do not doubt but, if the patron would part with it, I can help him to
+others with good pretensions to it; viz., of uncommon understanding, who
+would give him as much as he gave for it. I know perfectly well a noble
+person to whom these words (which are the body of the panegyric) would
+fit to a hair.
+
+"Your easiness of humour, or rather your harmonious disposition, is so
+admirably mixed with your composure, that the rugged cares and
+disturbance that public affairs brings with it, which does so
+vexatiously affect the heads of other great men of business, &c. does
+scarce ever ruffle your unclouded brow so much as with a frown. And what
+above all is praiseworthy, you are so far from thinking yourself better
+than others, that a flourishing and opulent fortune, which by a certain
+natural corruption in its quality, seldom fails to infect other
+possessors with pride, seems in this case as if only providentially
+disposed to enlarge your humility.
+
+"But I find, sir, I am now got into a very large field, where though I
+could with great ease raise a number of plants in relation to your merit
+of this plauditory nature; yet for fear of an author's general vice, and
+that the plain justice I have done you should, by my proceeding and
+others' mistaken judgment, be imagined flattery, a thing the bluntness
+of my nature does not care to be concerned with, and which I also know
+you abominate."
+
+It is wonderful to see how many judges of these fine things spring up
+every day by the rise of stocks, and other elegant methods of abridging
+the way to learning and criticism. But I do hereby forbid all
+dedications to any persons within the city of London, except Sir
+Francis, Sir Stephen,[418] and the Bank, will take epigrams and epistles
+as value received for their notes; and the East India Companies accept
+of heroic poems for their sealed bonds. Upon which bottom, our
+publishers have full power to treat with the city in behalf of us
+authors, to enable traders to become patrons and Fellows of the Royal
+Society, as well as receive certain degrees of skill in the Latin and
+Greek tongues, according to the quantity of the commodities which they
+take off our hands.
+
+
+Grecian Coffee-house, July 18.
+
+The learned have so long laboured under the imputation of dryness and
+dulness in their accounts of their phenomena, that an ingenious
+gentleman of our society has resolved to write a system of philosophy in
+a more lively method, both as to the matter and language, than has been
+hitherto attempted. He read to us the plan upon which he intends to
+proceed. I thought his account, by way of fable of the worlds about us,
+had so much vivacity in it, that I could not forbear transcribing his
+hypothesis, to give the reader a taste of my friend's treatise, which is
+now in the press.[419]
+
+"The inferior deities having designed on a day to play a game at
+football, knead together a numberless collection of dancing atoms into
+the form of seven rolling globes: and that nature might be kept from a
+dull inactivity, each separate particle is endued with a principle of
+motion, or a power of attraction, whereby all the several parcels of
+matter draw each other proportionately to their magnitudes and
+distances, into such a remarkable variety of different forms, as to
+produce all the wonderful appearances we now observe in empire,
+philosophy, and religion. To proceed; at the beginning of the game, each
+of the globes being struck forward with a vast violence, ran out of
+sight, and wandered in a straight line through the infinite spaces. The
+nimble deities pursue, breathless almost, and spent in the eager chase;
+each of them caught hold of one, and stamped it with his name; as,
+Saturn, Jupiter, Mars, and so of the rest. To prevent this inconvenience
+for the future, the seven are condemned to a precipitation, which in our
+inferior style we call 'gravity.' Thus the tangential and centripetal
+forces, by their counter-struggle, make the celestial bodies describe an
+exact ellipsis."
+
+There will be added to this an appendix, in defence of the first day of
+the term according to the Oxford Almanac,[420] by a learned knight of
+this realm, with an apology for the said knight's manner of dress;
+proving, that his habit, according to this hypothesis, is the true
+modern and fashionable; and that buckles are not to be worn, by this
+system, till the 10th of March, in the year 1714, which, according to
+the computation of some of our greatest divines, is to be the first year
+of the Millennium[421]; in which blessed age, all habits will be reduced
+to a primitive simplicity; and whoever shall be found to have persevered
+in a constancy of dress, in spite of all the allurements of profane and
+heathen habits, shall be rewarded with a never-fading doublet of a
+thousand years. All points in the system which are doubted, shall be
+attested by the knight's extemporary oath, for the satisfaction of his
+readers.
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, July 18.
+
+We were upon the heroic strain this evening, and the question was, What
+is the True Sublime? Many very good discourses happened thereupon; after
+which a gentleman at the table, who is, it seems, writing on that
+subject, assumed the argument; and though he ran through many instances
+of sublimity from the ancient writers, said, he had hardly known an
+occasion wherein the true greatness of soul, which animates a general in
+action, is so well represented, with regard to the person of whom it was
+spoken, and the time in which it was writ, as in a few lines in a modern
+poem: "there is," continued he, "nothing so forced and constrained, as
+what we frequently meet with in tragedies; to make a man under the
+weight of a great sorrow, or full of meditation upon what he is soon to
+execute, cast about for a simile to what he himself is, or the thing
+which he is going to act: but there is nothing more proper and natural
+than for a poet, whose business is to describe, and who is spectator of
+one in that circumstance when his mind is working upon a great image,
+and that the ideas hurry upon his imagination--I say, there is nothing
+so natural, as for a poet to relieve and clear himself from the burthen
+of thought at that time, by uttering his conception in simile and
+metaphor. The highest act of the mind of man, is to possess itself with
+tranquillity in imminent danger, and to have its thoughts so free, as to
+act at that time without perplexity. The ancient poets have compared
+this sedate courage to a rock that remains immovable amidst the rage of
+winds and waves; but that is too stupid and inanimate a similitude, and
+could do no credit to the hero. At other times they are all of them
+wonderfully obliged to a Lybian lion, which may give indeed very
+agreeable terrors to a description; but is no compliment to the person
+to whom it is applied: eagles, tigers, and wolves, are made use of on
+the same occasion, and very often with much beauty; but this is still an
+honour done to the brute, rather than the hero. Mars, Pallas, Bacchus,
+and Hercules, have each of them furnished very good similes in their
+time, and made, doubtless, a greater impression on the mind of a
+heathen, than they have on that of a modern reader. But the sublime
+image that I am talking of, and which I really think as great as ever
+entered into the thought of man, is in the poem called, 'The
+Campaign';[422] where the simile of a ministering angel sets forth the
+most sedate and the most active courage, engaged in an uproar of nature,
+a confusion of elements, and a scene of divine vengeance. Add to all,
+that these lines compliment the General and his Queen at the same time,
+and have all the natural horrors, heightened by the image that was still
+fresh in the mind of every reader.[423]
+
+    "_'Twas then great Marlborough's mighty soul was proved,
+    That, in the shock of charging hosts unmoved,
+    Amidst confusion, horror, and despair,
+    Examined all the dreadful scenes of war;
+    In peaceful thought the field of death surveyed,
+    To fainting squadrons sent the timely aid,
+    Inspired repulsed battalions to engage,
+    And taught the doubtful battle where to rage.
+    So when an angel by divine command,
+    With rising tempests shakes a guilty land,
+    Such as of late o'er pale Britannia past,
+    Calm and serene he drives the furious blast;
+    And, pleased the Almighty's orders to perform,
+    Rides in the whirlwind, and directs the storm._
+
+"The whole poem is so exquisitely noble and poetic, that I think it an
+honour to our nation and language." The gentleman concluded his critique
+on this work, by saying, that he esteemed it wholly new, and a wonderful
+attempt to keep up the ordinary ideas of a march of an army, just as
+they happened in so warm and great a style, and yet be at once familiar
+and heroic. Such a performance is a chronicle as well as a poem, and
+will preserve the memory of our hero, when all the edifices and statues
+erected to his honour are blended with common dust.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, July 18.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 23rd instant, N.S., say, that the Allies
+were so forward in the siege of Tournay, that they were preparing for a
+general assault, which, it was supposed, would be made within a few
+days. Deserters from the town gave an account, that the garrison was
+carrying their ammunition and provisions into the citadel, which
+occasioned a tumult among the inhabitants of the town. The French army
+had laid bridges over the Scarp, and made a motion as if they intended
+to pass that river; but though they are joined by the reinforcement
+expected from Germany, it was not believed they should make any attempt
+towards relieving Tournay. Letters from Brabant say, there has been a
+discovery made of a design to deliver up Antwerp to the enemy. The
+States of Holland have agreed to a general naturalisation of all
+Protestants who shall fly into their dominions; to which purpose, a
+proclamation was to be issued within few days.
+
+They write from France, that the great misery and want under which that
+nation has so long laboured, has ended in a pestilence, which began to
+appear in Burgundy and Dauphiné. They add, that in the town of Mazon,
+three hundred persons had died in the space of ten days. Letters from
+Lille of the 24th instant advise, that great numbers of deserters came
+daily into that city, the most part of whom are dragoons. We are advised
+from France, that the Loire having overflowed its banks, hath laid the
+country under water for three hundred miles together.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 416: See Nos. 1 and 11. In No. 29 of the _Guardian_ Steele
+accused the world of ingratitude in not properly "rewarding the jocose
+labours of my friend, Mr. Durfey"; and in No. 67 Addison urged the town
+to go to a performance at the theatre given for Durfey's benefit. "He
+has made the town merry, and I hope they will make him easy, so long as
+he stays among us."]
+
+[Footnote 417: Sir William Scawen, a merchant who was knighted in 1692.]
+
+[Footnote 418: Probably Sir Francis Child and Sir Stephen Evance, the
+bankers. The latter was ruined at the time of the South Sea mania. The
+following advertisement appeared in the _Postman_ for Jan. 1, 1709:
+"Lost or mislaid, some time the last summer, at Winchester House, in
+Chelsea, a gold snuff-box, a cypher graved on the cover, with trophies
+round it, and over the cypher these words, 'DD. Illust. Princ. Jac. Duci
+Ormond.' Whoever brings it to Sir Stephen Evance, at the Black Boy in
+Lombard Street, shall have ten guineas reward, and be asked no
+questions."]
+
+[Footnote 419: This seems to be a banter upon Mr. Whiston's book
+intituled, "Prælectiones Physicæ Mathematicæ; sive Philosophia
+clarissimi Newtoni Mathematica illustrata, 1710"; wherein he explained
+the Newtonian philosophy, which now began to grow into vogue. Both
+Addison and Steele, however, very much befriended Whiston; and after his
+banishment from Cambridge, promoted a subscription for his astronomical
+lectures at Button's Coffee-house (Nichols).--See No. 251.]
+
+[Footnote 420: See No. 39.]
+
+[Footnote 421: Whiston had fixed that day for the destruction of
+Anti-Christ and the beginning of the Millennium.]
+
+[Footnote 422: Written by Addison in 1705, in celebration of the victory
+at Blenheim.]
+
+[Footnote 423: The great storm of November 1703 formed the subject of a
+volume published by Defoe in 1704.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 44. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, July 19_, to _Thursday, July 21_, 1709.
+
+    --Nullis amor est medicabilis herbis.
+                                            OVID, Met. i. 523.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, July 19.
+
+This day, passing through Covent Garden, I was stopped in the Piazza by
+Pacolet, to observe what he called the "triumph of love and youth." I
+turned to the object he pointed at; and there I saw a gay gilt chariot
+drawn by fresh prancing horses; the coachman with a new cockade, and the
+lackeys with insolence and plenty in their countenances. I asked
+immediately, what young heir or lover owned that glittering equipage?
+But my companion interrupted: "Do not you see there the mourning
+Æsculapius?"[424] "The mourning!" said I. "Yes, Isaac," said Pacolet,
+"he is in deep mourning, and is the languishing hopeless lover of the
+divine Hebe, the emblem of youth and beauty. The excellent and learned
+sage you behold in that furniture, is the strongest instance imaginable,
+that love is the most powerful of all things. You are not so ignorant as
+to be a stranger to the character of Æsculapius, as the patron and most
+successful of all who profess the art of medicine. But as most of his
+operations are owing to a natural sagacity or impulse, he has very
+little troubled himself with the doctrine of drugs; but has always given
+Nature more room to help herself, than any of her learned assistants;
+and consequently has done greater wonders than is in the power of art to
+perform;[425] for which reason, he is half deified by the people; and
+has ever been justly courted by all the world, as if he were a seventh
+son. It happened, that the charming Hebe was reduced, by a long and
+violent fever, to the most extreme danger of death; and when all skill
+failed, they sent for Æsculapius. The renowned artist was touched with
+the deepest compassion to see the faded charms and faint bloom of Hebe;
+and had a generous concern in beholding a struggle, not between life,
+but rather between youth, and death. All his skill and his passion
+tended to the recovery of Hebe, beautiful even in sickness: but, alas!
+the unhappy physician knew not, that in all his care he was only
+sharpening darts for his own destruction. In a word, his fortune was the
+same with that of the statuary, who fell in love with the image of his
+own making; and the unfortunate Æsculapius is become the patient of her
+whom he lately recovered. Long before this disaster, Æsculapius was far
+gone in the unnecessary and superfluous amusements of old age, in
+increasing unwieldy stores, and providing, in the midst of an incapacity
+of enjoyment of what he had, for a supply of more wants than he had
+calls for in youth itself. But these low considerations are now no more,
+and love has taken place of avarice, or rather has become an avarice of
+another kind, which still urges him to pursue what he does not want. But
+behold the metamorphosis; the anxious mean cares of an usurer are turned
+into the languishments and complaints of a lover. 'Behold,' says the
+aged Æsculapius, 'I submit, I own, great Love, thy empire: pity, Hebe,
+the fop you have made: what have I to do with gilding but on pills? Yet,
+O fair! For thee I sit amidst a crowd of painted deities on my chariot,
+buttoned in gold, clasped in gold, without having any value for that
+beloved metal, but as it adorns the person, and laces the hat of thy
+dying lover. I ask not to live, O Hebe! Give me but gentle death:
+euthanasia, euthanasia, that is all I implore.'" When Æsculapius had
+finished his complaint, Pacolet went on in deep morals on the
+uncertainty of riches, with this remarkable exclamation; "O wealth! How
+impotent art thou! And how little dost thou supply us with real
+happiness, when the usurer himself can forget thee for the love of what
+is as foreign to his felicity as thou art?"
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, July 19.
+
+The company here, who have all a delicate taste of theatrical
+representations, had made a gathering to purchase the movables of the
+neighbouring playhouse,[426] for the encouragement of one which is
+setting up in the Haymarket. But the proceedings at the auction (by
+which method the goods have been sold this evening) have been so unfair,
+that this generous design has been frustrated; for the Imperial Mantle
+made for Cyrus was missing, as also the Chariot and Two Dragons: but
+upon examination it was found, that a gentleman of Hampshire[427] had
+clandestinely bought them both, and is gone down to his country seat;
+and that on Saturday last he passed through Staines attired in that
+robe, and drawn by the said Dragons, assisted by two only of his own
+horses. This theatrical traveller has also left orders with Mr.
+Hall[428] to send the faded rainbow to the scourers, and when it comes
+home, to despatch it after him. At the same time C---- R----[429] Esq.
+is invited to bring down himself his Setting Sun, and be box-keeper to a
+theatre erected by this gentleman near Southampton. Thus there has been
+nothing but artifice in the management of this affair; for which reason
+I beg pardon of the town, that I inserted the inventory in my paper and
+solemnly protest, I knew nothing of this artful design of vending these
+rarities: but I meant only the good of the world in that and all other
+things which I divulge. And now I am upon this subject, I must do myself
+justice in relation to an article in a former paper, wherein I made
+mention of a person who keeps a puppet-show in the town of Bath;[430] I
+was tender of naming names, and only just hinted, that he makes larger
+promises, when he invites people to his dramatic representations, than
+he is able to perform: but I am credibly informed, that he makes a
+profane lewd jester, which he calls Punch, speak to the dishonour of
+Isaac Bickerstaff with great familiarity; and before all my learned
+friends in that place, takes upon him to dispute my title to the
+appellation of Esquire. I think I need not say much to convince all the
+world, that this Mr. Powell (for that is his name) is a pragmatical and
+vain person to pretend to argue with me on any subject. _Mecum certasse
+feretur_[431]; that is to say, it will be an honour to him to have it
+said he contended with me; but I would have him to know, that I can look
+beyond his wires, and know very well the whole trick of his art, and
+that it is only by these wires that the eye of the spectator is cheated,
+and hindered from seeing that there is a thread on one of Punch's chops,
+which draws it up, and lets it fall at the discretion of the said
+Powell, who stands behind and plays him, and makes him speak saucily of
+his betters. He! to pretend to make prologues against me! But a man
+never behaves himself with decency in his own case; therefore I shall
+command myself, and never trouble me further with this little fellow,
+who is himself but a tall puppet, and has not brains enough to make even
+wood speak as it ought to do: and I, that have heard the groaning
+board,[432] can despise all that his puppets shall be able to speak as
+long as they live. But, _Ex quovis ligno non fit Mercurius_[433]. He has
+pretended to write to me also from the Bath, and says, he thought to
+have deferred giving me an answer till he came to his books[434]; but
+that my writings might do well with the waters: which are pert
+expressions that become a schoolboy, better than one that is to teach
+others: and when I have said a civil thing to him, he cries, "Oh! I
+thank you for that--I am your humble servant for that."[435] Ah! Mr.
+Powell, these smart civilities will never run down men of learning: I
+know well enough your design is to have all men automata, like your
+puppets; but the world is grown too wise, and can look through these
+thin devices. I know you design to make a reply to this; but be sure you
+stick close to my words; for if you bring me into discourses concerning
+the government of your puppets, I must tell you, I neither am, nor have
+been, nor will be, at leisure to answer you. It is really a burning
+shame this man should be tolerated in abusing the world with such
+representations of things: but his parts decay, and he is not much more
+alive than Partridge.
+
+
+From my own Apartment, July 14.
+
+I must beg pardon of my readers that for this time I have, I fear,
+huddled up my discourse, having been very busy in helping an old friend
+of mine out of town. He has a very good estate, is a man of wit; but he
+had been three years absent from town, and cannot bear a jest; for
+which reason I have, with some pains, convinced him, that he can no
+more live here than if he were a downright bankrupt. He was so fond of
+dear London, that he began to fret only inwardly; but being unable to
+laugh and be laughed at, I took a place in the northern coach for him
+and his family; and hope he is got to-night safe from all sneerers in
+his own parlour.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, July 20.
+
+This morning we received by express, the agreeable news of the surrender
+of the town of Tournay on the 28th instant, N.S. The place was assaulted
+at the attacks of General Schuylemburg, and that of General Lottum, at
+the same time. The action at both those parts of the town was very
+obstinate, and the Allies lost a considerable number at the beginning of
+the dispute; but the fight was continued with so great bravery, that the
+enemy observing that we were masters of all the posts which were
+necessary for a general attack, beat the chamade,[436] and hostages were
+received from the town, and others sent from the besiegers, in order to
+come to a formal capitulation for the surrender of the place. We have
+also this day received advice, that Sir John Leake, who lies off of
+Dunkirk, had intercepted several ships laden with corn from the Baltic;
+and that the Dutch privateers had fallen in with others, and carried
+them into Holland. The French letters advise, that the young son to the
+Duke of Anjou lived but eight days.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 424: Dr. John Radcliffe, the physician (1650-1714), was
+disappointed in love when about sixty. The matter is referred to again
+in Nos. 46, 47, 50 and 67. Radcliffe became rich, but was considered to
+be a quack by many other doctors. "The last _Tatler_ is upon Dr. Ratclif
+who they say is desparately in love with Dutchess of Bolton, his passion
+runs so high as to declare he'll make her eldest son his heir, upon wch
+account they say the Duke of B---- is not at all alarm'd, but gives the
+Old amorist opportunity to make his Court, the Dr. lately gave the
+Dutchess and some other Ladys an entertainm' of musick upon the water,
+and a fine supper in the Barge" ("Wentworth Papers," p. 97). This
+identification of Hebe with the Duchess of Bolton is corroborated by the
+MS. annotator mentioned in a note to No. 4. According to another account
+she was a Miss Tempest, a maid of honour to the Queen. The writer of the
+article on Radcliffe in the "Biog. Britannica" says: "The lady, who made
+the doctor, at this advanced age, stand in need of a physician himself,
+was of great beauty, wealth, and quality; and too attractive not to
+inspire the coldest heart with the warmest sentiments. After he had made
+a cure of her, he could not but imagine, as naturally he might, that her
+ladyship would entertain a favourable opinion of him. But the lady,
+however grateful she might be for the care he had taken of her health,
+divulged the secret, and one of her confidants revealed it to Steele,
+who, on account of party, was so ill-natured as to write the ridicule of
+it in the _Tatler_" Radcliffe never married.]
+
+[Footnote 425: I have a pamphlet called "The _Tatler's_ Character (July
+21) of Æsculapius guessing diseases, without the knowledge of drugs;
+applied to the British Physicians and Surgeons: or, The difficult
+diseases of the Royal Family, Nobility and Gentry will never be
+understood and recover'd, when the populace are oppress'd and destroy'd
+by the Practising-Apothecaries and Empiricks confess'd by the College
+and Mr. Bernard the Surgeon. By a Consultation of Gentlemen of Quality."
+London, 8vo, 1709. The pamphlet contains some interesting remarks on the
+physicians, apothecaries and hospitals of the time. Mr. Bickerstaff is
+called "the most ingenious physician of our vices and follies."]
+
+[Footnote 426: See No. 42.]
+
+[Footnote 427: A friend of Nichols said, "I have seen somewhere, but
+cannot immediately refer to the book, an account of a theatre built at
+Southwick, in the county of Hants, by a Mr. Richard Norton, whose will
+is in the _Gentleman's Magazine_, 1733, p. 57. He is the person, I
+believe, who wrote a play called 'Pausanias' (1696). Cibber dedicated
+his first play to him." The MS. annotator mentioned in No. 4 also
+identifies the gentleman of Hampshire with "Mr. N----n."]
+
+[Footnote 428: An auctioneer.]
+
+[Footnote 429: Christopher Rich, the manager.]
+
+[Footnote 430: Under the name of Powell, the puppet-show man, Steele
+attacked Dr. Blackall, Bishop of Exeter (see No. 37), who was engaged in
+a controversy with Benjamin Hoadly. In March 1709, Blackall preached
+before the Queen a sermon laying down the doctrine of passive obedience
+in its most extreme form, but in 1704 he had preached obedience limited
+by the laws of the State. Hoadly wrote against the sermon of 1709, and
+brought against the Bishop the sermon of 1704. The Bishop, angry at this
+mode of refutation, answered haughtily, and dwelt on the superiority of
+his rank as compared with that of Hoadly, then simply rector of a London
+parish. Bickerstaff here reproaches Blackall for the pride and rudeness
+of his answer, and then, under the guise of Powell, proprietor of the
+puppet-show, satirises the extreme doctrine of divine right taught by
+the Bishop, a doctrine which would make the subjects mere automata, to
+be moved only at the will of the prince.]
+
+[Footnote 431: Ovid, "Met." xiii. 20.]
+
+[Footnote 432: The following printed advertisement appeared in 1682: "At
+the sign of the wool-sack, in Newgate-market, is to be seen, a strange
+and wonderful thing, which is an elm-board, being touched with a hot
+iron, doth express itself, as if it were a man dying with groans, and
+trembling, to the great admiration of all the hearers. It hath been
+presented before the King and his nobles, and hath given great
+satisfaction. _Vivat Rex_."--(MSS. Sloan. 958.)]
+
+[Footnote 433: "Ne e quovis ligno Mercurius fiat" is one of the proverbs
+in the "Adagia" of Erasmus. But its history, as originally from the
+Greek, is thus given in a note of Andr. Schottus, quoted by Gaisford in
+his "Parcemiographia Græci," p. 39, Ox. 1836:--"Illiud adagium ὀυκ ἐκ
+παντὸς ξύλου Ἕρμης ἂν γένοιτο [ouk ek pantòs zýlon Hermês àn génoito],
+quod a Pythagora primum profectum auctor est Apuleius 'Apol.'" [t. ii.
+p. 499] (Ed. Marshall, "Notes and Queries," March 26, 1887). See
+Apuleius, "Apologia," 476: "Non enim ex omni ligno, ut Pythagoras
+dicebat, debet Mercurius exsculpi."]
+
+[Footnote 434: In the Bishop's answer to Hoadly's letter, 1709, there is
+this passage: "I have no books here; and being under these
+circumstances, I hope I may be excused, if, in citing Scripture, I
+should not always name chapter and verse, nor hit exactly upon the very
+words of the translation" (Lord Bishop of Exeter's Answer, &c., pp. 2
+and 3).--"As to the _Tatlers_ relating to Powell's puppets, and the
+doctrines of passive obedience and absolute non-resistance, and to
+Bishop Blackall, I know it gave my father some uneasiness, that there is
+a reference to a fact, which, as he resolved himself never to take
+notice of, thinking it ungenerous, so he was sorry to see any friend of
+the cause had; which is, that the Bishop had said inadvertently, he was
+at Bath, and had not a Bible in his family. It is worth remarking, that
+all the arguments used by Powell about his power over Punch, 'lighting
+his pipe with one of his legs,' &c., are a good burlesque of those used
+by the advocates of non-resistance."--(Dr. John Hoadly.)]
+
+[Footnote 435: The Bishop, after quoting a respectful expression of
+Hoadly's, says, "Your servant, sir, for that."]
+
+[Footnote 436: A beat of the drum or sound of a trumpet, which summons
+the enemy to a parley. In _Spectator_, No. 165, Addison ridiculed the
+use of this and other French war terms by English writers.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 45. [STEELE.
+
+From _Thursday, July 21, to Saturday, July 23_, 1709.
+
+    Credo pudicitiam Saturno rege moratam
+    In terris.
+                                            Juv., Sat. vi. I.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, July 22.
+
+The other day I took a walk a mile or two out of town and strolling
+wherever chance led me, I was insensibly carried into a by-road, along
+which was a very agreeable quickset, of an extraordinary height, which
+surrounded a very delicious seat and garden. From one angle of the
+hedge, I heard a voice cry, "Sir, sir--" This raised my curiosity, and I
+heard the same voice say, but in a gentle tone, "Come forward, come
+forward." I did so, and one through the hedge called me by my name, and
+bade me go on to the left, and I should be admitted to visit an old
+acquaintance in distress. The laws of knight-errantry made me obey the
+summons without hesitation; and I was let in at the back gate of a
+lovely house by a maid-servant, who carried me from room to room, until
+I came into a gallery; at the end of which, I saw a fine lady dressed in
+the most sumptuous habit, as if she were going to a ball, but with the
+most abject and disconsolate sorrow in her face that I ever beheld. As I
+came near, she burst into tears, and cried, "Sir, do not you know the
+unhappy Teraminta?" I soon recollected her whole person: "But," said I,
+"madam, the simplicity of dress, in which I have ever seen you at your
+good father's house, and the cheerfulness of countenance with which you
+always appeared, are so unlike the fashion and temper you are now in,
+that I did not easily recover the memory of you. Your habit was then
+decent and modest, your looks serene and beautiful: whence then this
+unaccountable change? Nothing can speak so deep a sorrow as your present
+aspect; yet your dress is made for jollity and revelling." "It is," said
+she, "an unspeakable pleasure to meet with one I know, and to bewail
+myself to any that is not an utter stranger to humanity. When your
+friend my father died, he left me to a wide world, with no defence
+against the insults of fortune, but rather, a thousand snares to entrap
+me in the dangers to which youth and innocence are exposed, in an age
+wherein honour and virtue are become mere words, and used only as they
+serve to betray those who understand them in their native sense, and
+obey them as the guides and motives of their being. The wickedest of all
+men living, the abandoned Decius, who has no knowledge of any good art
+or purpose of human life, but as it tends to the satisfaction of his
+appetites, had opportunities of frequently seeing and entertaining me at
+a house where mixed company boarded, and where he placed himself for the
+base intention which he has since brought to pass. Decius saw enough in
+me to raise his brutal desires, and my circumstances gave him hopes of
+accomplishing them. But all the glittering expectations he could lay
+before me, joined by my private terrors of poverty itself, could not for
+some months prevail upon me; yet, however I hated his intention, I still
+had a secret satisfaction in his courtship, and always exposed myself to
+his solicitations. See here the bane of our sex! Let the flattery be
+never so apparent, the flatterer never so ill thought of, his praises
+are still agreeable and we contribute to our own deceit. I was therefore
+ever fond of all opportunities and pretences of being in his company. In
+a word, I was at last ruined by him, and brought to this place, where I
+have been ever since immured; and from the fatal day after my fall from
+innocence, my worshipper became my master and my tyrant. Thus you see me
+habited in the most gorgeous manner, not in honour of me as a woman he
+loves, but as this attire charms his own eye, and urges him to repeat
+the gratification he takes in me, as the servant of his brutish lusts
+and appetites. I know not where to fly for redress; but am here pining
+away life in the solitude and severity of a nun, but the conscience and
+guilt of a harlot. I live in this lewd practice with a religious awe of
+my minister of darkness, upbraided with the support I receive from him,
+for the inestimable possession of youth, of innocence, of honour, and of
+conscience. I see, sir, my discourse grows painful to you; all I beg of
+you is, to paint in so strong colours, as to let Decius see I am
+discovered to be in his possession, that I may be turned out of this
+detestable scene of regular iniquity, and either think no more, or sin
+no more. If your writings have the good effect of gaining my
+enlargement, I promise you I will atone for this unhappy step, by
+preferring an innocent laborious poverty, to all the guilty affluence
+the world can offer me."
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, July 21.
+
+To show that I do not bear an irreconcilable hatred to my mortal enemy,
+Mr. Powell at Bath, I do his function the honour to publish to the
+world, that plays represented by puppets are permitted in our
+universities,[437] and that sort of drama is not wholly thought unworthy
+the critic of learned heads: but as I have been conversant rather with
+the greater Ode, as I think the critics call it, I must be so humble as
+to make a request to Mr. Powell, and desire him to apply his thoughts
+to answering the difficulties with which my kinsman, the author of the
+following letter, seems to be embarrassed.
+
+#"_To my Honoured Kinsman, Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq._#
+
+"DEAR COUSIN,
+
+"Had the family of the Beadlestaffs,[438] whereof I, though unworthy, am
+one, known of your being lately at Oxon, we had in our own name, and in
+the Universities' (as it is our office), made you a compliment: but your
+short stay here robbed us of an opportunity of paying our due respects,
+and you of receiving an ingenious entertainment, with which we at
+present divert ourselves and strangers. A puppet-show at this time
+supplies the want of an Act.[439] And since the nymphs of this city are
+disappointed of a luscious music-speech, and the country ladies of
+hearing their sons or brothers speak verses; yet the vocal machines,
+like them, by the help of a prompter, say things as much to the benefit
+of the audience, and almost as properly their own. The licence of a
+Terræ-Filius[440] is refined to the well-bred satire of Punchinello.
+Now, Cousin Bickerstaff, though Punch has neither a French nightcap, nor
+long pockets, yet you must own him to be a pretty fellow, a 'very'
+pretty fellow: nay, since he seldom leaves the company, without
+calling, 'Son of a whore,' demanding satisfaction, and duelling, he must
+be owned a smart fellow too. Yet, by some indecencies towards the
+ladies, he seems to be of a third character, distinct from any you have
+yet touched upon. A young gentleman who sat next me (for I had the
+curiosity of seeing this entertainment), in a tufted gown, red
+stockings, and long wig (which I pronounce to be tantamount to red heels
+and a dangling cane[441]) was enraged when Punchinello disturbed a soft
+love-scene with his ribaldry. You would oblige us mightily by laying
+down some rules for adjusting the extravagant behaviour of this
+Almanzor[442] of the play, and by writing a treatise on this sort of
+dramatic poetry, so much favoured, and so little understood, by the
+learned world. From its being conveyed in a cart after the Thespian
+manner, all the parts being recited by one person, as the custom was
+before Æschylus, and the behaviour of Punch as if he had won the goal,
+you may possibly deduce its antiquity, and settle the chronology, as
+well as some of our modern critics. In its natural transitions, from
+mournful to merry; as, from the hanging of a lover, to dancing upon the
+rope; from the stalking of a ghost, to a lady's presenting you with a
+jig; you may discover such a decorum, as is not to be found elsewhere
+than in our tragi-comedies. But I forget myself; it is not for me to
+dictate: I thought fit, dear cousin, to give you these hints, to show
+you that the Beadlestaffs don't walk before men of letters to no
+purpose; and that though we do but hold up the train of arts and
+sciences, yet like other pages, we are now and then let into our
+ladies' secrets. I am,
+
+"Your most
+
+"Affectionate Kinsman,
+
+                                        "BENJAMIN BEADLESTAFF.
+
+"From Mother Gourdon's, at Hedington,[443] near Oxon, _June 18_."
+
+
+From my own Apartment, July 22.
+
+I am got hither safe, but never spent time with so little satisfaction
+as this evening; for you must know, I was five hours with three Merry,
+and two Honest Fellows. The former sang catches; and the latter even
+died with laughing at the noise they made. "Well," says Tom Belfrey,
+"you scholars, Mr. Bickerstaff, are the worst company in the world."
+"Ay," says his opposite, "you are dull to-night; prithee be merry." With
+that I huzzaed, and took a jump across the table, then came clever upon
+my legs, and fell a-laughing. "Let Mr. Bickerstaff alone," says one of
+the Honest Fellows, "when he's in a good humour, he's as good company as
+any man in England." He had no sooner spoke, but I snatched his hat off
+his head, and clapped his upon my own, and burst out a-laughing again;
+upon which we all fell a-laughing for half an hour. One of the Honest
+Fellows got behind me in the interim, and hit me a sound slap on the
+back; upon which he got the laugh out of my hands, and it was such a
+twang on my shoulders, that I confess he was much merrier than I. I was
+half angry; but resolved to keep up the good humour of the company; and
+after holloing as loud as I could possibly, I drank off a bumper of
+claret, that made me stare again. "Nay," says one of the Honest Fellows,
+"Mr. Isaac is in the right, there is no conversation in this; what
+signifies jumping, or hitting one another on the back? Let's drink
+about." We did so from seven o'clock till eleven; and now I am come
+hither, and, after the manner of the wise Pythagoras, begin to reflect
+upon the passages of the day. I remember nothing, but that I am bruised
+to death; and as it is my way to write down all the good things I have
+heard in the last conversation to furnish my paper, I can from this only
+tell you my sufferings and my bangs. I named Pythagoras just now, and I
+protest to you, as he believed men after death entered into other
+species, I am now and then tempted to think other animals enter into
+men, and could name several on two legs, that never discover any
+sentiment above what is common with the species of a lower kind; as we
+see in these bodily wits whom I was with to-night, whose parts consist
+in strength and activity; but their boisterous mirth gives me great
+impatience for the return of such happiness as I enjoyed in a
+conversation last week. Among others in that company, we had Florio, who
+never interrupted any man living when he was speaking, or ever ceased to
+speak, but others lamented that he had done. His discourse ever arises
+from a fulness of the matter before him, and not from ostentation or
+triumph of his understanding; for though he seldom delivers what he need
+fear being repeated, he speaks without having that end in view; and his
+forbearance of calumny or bitterness, is owing rather to his good nature
+than his discretion; for which reason, he is esteemed a gentleman
+perfectly qualified for conversation, in whom a general goodwill to
+mankind takes off the necessity of caution and circumspection. We had
+at the same time that evening the best sort of companion that can be, a
+good-natured old man. This person meets in the company of young men,
+veneration for his benevolence, and is not only valued for the good
+qualities of which he is master, but reaps an acceptance from the pardon
+he gives to other men's faults: and the ingenuous sort of men with whom
+he converses, have so just a regard for him, that he rather is an
+example, than a check to their behaviour. For this reason, as Senecio
+never pretends to be a man of pleasure before youth, so young men never
+set up for wisdom before Senecio; so that you never meet, where he is,
+those monsters of conversation, who are grave or gay above their years.
+He never converses but with followers of nature and good sense, where
+all that is uttered is only the effect of a communicable temper, and not
+of emulation to excel their companions; all desire of superiority being
+a contradiction to that spirit which makes a just conversation, the very
+essence of which is mutual goodwill. Hence it is, that I take it for a
+rule, that the natural, and not the acquired man, is the companion.
+Learning, wit, gallantry, and good breeding, are all but subordinate
+qualities in society, and are of no value, but as they are subservient
+to benevolence, and tend to a certain manner of being or appearing equal
+to the rest of the company; for conversation is composed of an assembly
+of men, as they are men, and not as they are distinguished by fortune:
+therefore he that brings his quality with him into conversation, should
+always pay the reckoning; for he came to receive homage, and not to meet
+his friends--But the din about my ears from the clamour of the people I
+was with this evening, has carried me beyond my intended purpose, which
+was to explain upon the Order of Merry Fellows; but I think I may
+pronounce of them, as I heard good Senecio, with a spice of wit of the
+last age, say, viz. that a Merry Fellow is the Saddest Fellow in the
+world.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 437: See No. 44. Blackall was a bishop; and the University of
+Oxford had declared publicly in his favour.]
+
+[Footnote 438: See No. 11.]
+
+[Footnote 439: A meeting for conferring degrees, when speeches, &c., are
+delivered.]
+
+[Footnote 440: An undergraduate who made extempore speeches at the Act,
+often of a very satirical kind. Sometimes there were two _terræ filii_,
+who carried on a dialogue. In 1721, Amberst published a periodical with
+the title "Terræ-Filius: or, The Secret History of the University of
+Oxford," and these papers were reprinted in two volumes in 1726, with a
+curious engraving of the Theatre at Oxford, by Hogarth, as
+frontispiece.]
+
+[Footnote 441: See No. 26.]
+
+[Footnote 442: In an Essay "Of Heroic Plays," prefixed to his play,
+"Almanzor and Almahide; or, The Conquest of Granada," Dryden defended at
+length the character of Almanzor.]
+
+[Footnote 443: This village is the scene of Dr. William King's play,
+"Joan of Hedington" ("Works," 1776, vol. iii. p. 16).]
+
+
+
+
+No. 46. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, July 23_, to _Tuesday, July 26_, 1709.
+
+    Non bene conveniunt, nec in una sede morantur,
+    Majestas et amor.
+                                            OVID, Met. ii. 846.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, July 25.
+
+We see every day volumes written against that tyrant of human life
+called Love, and yet there is no help found against his cruelties, or
+barrier against the inroads he is pleased to make into the mind of man.
+After this preface, you will expect I am going to give particular
+instances of what I have asserted. That expectation cannot be raised too
+high for the novelty of the history, and manner of life, of the Emperor
+Aurengezebe,[444] who has resided for some years in the cities of London
+and Westminster, with the air and mien indeed of his imperial quality,
+but the equipage and appointment only of a private gentleman. This
+potentate, for a long series of time, appeared from the hour of twelve
+till that of two at a coffee-house near the 'Change, and had a seat
+(though without a canopy) sacred to himself, where he gave diurnal
+audiences concerning commerce, politics, tare and tret, usury and
+abatement, with all things necessary for helping the distressed, who
+were willing to give one limb for the better maintenance of the rest; or
+such joyous youths, whose philosophy is confined to the present hour,
+and were desirous to call in the revenue of next half-year to double the
+enjoyment of this. Long did this growing monarch employ himself after
+this manner: and as alliances are necessary to all great kingdoms, he
+took particularly the interests of Lewis XIV. into his care and
+protection. When all mankind were attacking that unhappy monarch, and
+those who had neither valour nor wit to oppose against him would be
+still showing their impotent malice by laying wagers in opposition to
+his interests, Aurengezebe ever took the part of his contemporary, and
+laid immense treasures on his side in defence of his important magazine
+of Toulon. Aurengezebe also had all this while a constant intelligence
+with India, and his letters were answered in jewels, which he soon made
+brilliant, and caused to be affixed to his imperial castor, which he
+always wears cocked in front, to show his defiance; with a heap of
+imperial snuff in the middle of his ample visage, to show his sagacity.
+The zealots for this little spot called Great Britain fell universally
+into this emperor's policies, and paid homage to his superior genius, in
+forfeiting their coffers to his treasury: but wealth and wisdom are
+possessions too solemn not to give weariness to active minds, without
+the relief (in vacant hours) of wit and love, which are the proper
+amusements of the powerful and the wise: this emperor therefore, with
+great regularity, every day at five in the afternoon, leaves his
+money-changers, his publicans, and little hoarders of wealth, to their
+low pursuits, and ascends his chariot to drive to Will's; where the
+taste is refined, and a relish given to men's possessions, by a polite
+skill in gratifying their passions and appetites. There it is that the
+emperor has learned to live and to love, and not, like a miser, to gaze
+only on his ingots or his treasures; but with a nobler satisfaction, to
+live the admiration of others, for his splendour and happiness in being
+master of them. But a prince is no more to be his own caterer in his
+love, than in his food; therefore Aurengezebe has ever in waiting two
+purveyors for his dishes, and his wenches for his retired hours, by whom
+the scene of his diversion is prepared in the following manner:
+
+There is near Covent Garden a street known by the name of Drury, which,
+before the days of Christianity, was purchased by the Queen of Paphos,
+and is the only part of Great Britain where the tenure of vassalage is
+still in being. All that long course of building is under particular
+districts or ladyships, after the manner of lordships in other parts,
+over which matrons of known abilities preside, and have, for the support
+of their age and infirmities, certain taxes paid out of the rewards for
+the amorous labours of the young. This seraglio of Great Britain is
+disposed into convenient alleys and apartments, and every house, from
+the cellar to the garret, inhabited by nymphs of different orders, that
+persons of every rank may be accommodated with an immediate consort, to
+allay their flames, and partake of their cares. Here it is, that when
+Aurengezebe thinks fit to give a loose to dalliance, the purveyors
+prepare the entertainments; and what makes it more august is, that every
+person concerned in the interlude has his set part, and the prince sends
+beforehand word what he designs to say, and directs also the very answer
+which shall be made to him.
+
+It has been before hinted, that this emperor has a continual commerce
+with India; and it is to be noted, that the largest stone that rich
+earth has produced, is in our Aurengezebe's possession.
+
+But all things are now disposed for his reception. At his entrance into
+the seraglio, a servant delivers him his bever of state and love, on
+which is fixed this inestimable jewel as his diadem. When he is seated,
+the purveyors, Pandarus and Nuncio, marching on each side of the matron
+of the house, introduce her into his presence. In the midst of the room,
+they bow altogether to the diadem.
+
+When the matron:
+
+"Whoever thou art (as thy awful aspect speaks thee a man of power), be
+propitious to this mansion of love, and let not the severity of thy
+wisdom disdain, that by the representation of naked innocence, or
+pastoral figures, we revive in thee the memory at least of that power of
+Venus, to which all the wise and the brave are some part of their lives
+devoted." Aurengezebe consents by a nod, and they go out backward.
+
+After this, an unhappy nymph, who is to be supposed just escaped from
+the hands of a ravisher, with her tresses dishevelled, runs into the
+room with a dagger in her hand, and falls before the emperor.
+
+"Pity, oh! pity! whoever thou art, an unhappy virgin, whom one of thy
+train has robbed of her innocence; her innocence, which was all her
+portion--Or rather, let me die like the memorable Lucretia--" Upon which
+she stabs herself. The body is immediately examined after the manner of
+our coroners. Lucretia recovers by a cup of right Nantes; and the
+matron, who is her next relation, stops all process at law.
+
+This unhappy affair is no sooner over, but a naked mad woman breaks into
+the room, calls for her duke, her lord, her emperor. As soon as she
+spies Aurengezebe, the object of all her fury and love, she calls for
+petticoats, is ready to sink with shame, and is dressed in all haste in
+new attire at his charge. This unexpected accident of the mad woman
+makes Aurengezebe curious to know, whether others who are in their
+senses can guess at his quality. For which reason the whole convent is
+examined one by one. The matron marches in with a tawdry country girl:
+"Pray, Winifred," says she, "who do you think that fine man with those
+jewels and pearls is?" "I believe," says Winifred, "it is our landlord.
+It must be the squire himself." The emperor laughs at her simplicity.
+"Go, fool," says the matron: then turning to the emperor, "Your
+greatness will pardon her ignorance!" After her, several others of
+different characters are instructed to mistake who he is in the same
+manner: then the whole sisterhood are called together, and the emperor
+rises, and cocking his hat, declares, he is the Great Mogul, and they
+his concubines. A general murmur goes through the assembly, and
+Aurengezebe certifying, that he keeps them for state rather than use,
+tells them, they are permitted to receive all men into their apartments;
+then proceeds through the crowd, among whom he throws medals shaped like
+half-crowns, and returns to his chariot.
+
+This being all that passed the last day in which Aurengezebe visited the
+women's apartments, I consulted Pacolet concerning the foundation of
+such strange amusements in old age: to which he answered; "You may
+remember, when I gave you an account of my good fortune in being drowned
+on the thirtieth day of my human life, I told you of the disasters I
+should otherwise have met with before I arrived at the end of my stamen,
+which was sixty years. I may now add an observation to you, that all who
+exceed that period, except the latter part of it is spent in the
+exercise of virtue and contemplation of futurity, must necessarily fall
+into an indecent old age, because, with regard to all the enjoyments of
+the years of vigour and manhood, childhood returns upon them: and as
+infants ride on sticks, build houses in dirt, and make ships in gutters,
+by a faint idea of things they are to act hereafter; so old men play the
+lovers, potentates, and emperors, from the decaying image of the more
+perfect performances of their stronger years: therefore be sure to
+insert Æsculapius and Aurengezebe in your next bill of mortality of the
+metaphorically defunct."
+
+
+Will's Coffee-house, July 24.
+
+As soon as I came hither this evening, no less than ten people produced
+the following poem, which they all reported was sent to each of them by
+the penny post from an unknown hand. All the battle-writers in the room
+were in debate, who could be the author of a piece so martially written;
+and everybody applauded the address and skill of the author, in calling
+it a Postscript: it being the nature of a postscript to contain
+something very material which was forgotten, or not clearly expressed in
+the letter itself. Thus, the verses being occasioned by a march without
+beat of drum, and that circumstance being no ways taken notice of in any
+of the stanzas, the author calls it a postscript; not that it is a
+postscript, but figuratively, because it wants a postscript. Common
+writers, when what they mean is not expressed in the book itself, supply
+it by a preface; but a postscript seems to me the more just way of
+apology; because otherwise a man makes an excuse before the offence is
+committed. All the heroic poets were guessed at for its author; but
+though we could not find out his name, yet one repeated a couplet in
+"Hudibras" which spoke his qualifications:
+
+    _"I' th' midst of all this warlike rabble,
+    Crowdero marched, expert and able"_[445]
+
+The poem is admirably suited to the occasion: for to write without
+discovering your meaning, bears a just resemblance to marching without
+beat of drum.
+
+#On the March to Tournay without Beat of Drum.#
+
+#The Brussels POSTSCRIPT.#[446]
+
+      Could I with plainest words express
+      That great man's wonderful address,
+    His penetration, and his towering thought;
+      It would the gazing world surprise,
+      To see one man at all times wise,
+    To view the wonders he with ease has wrought.
+
+      Refining schemes approach his mind,
+      Like breezes of a southern wind,
+    To temperate a sultry glorious day;
+      Whose fannings, with an useful pride,
+      Its mighty heat doth softly guide,
+    And having cleared the air, glide silently away.
+
+      Thus his immensity of thought
+      Is deeply formed, and gently wrought,
+    His temper always softening life's disease;
+      That Fortune, when she does intend
+      To rudely frown, she turns his friend,
+    Admires his judgment, and applauds his ease.
+
+    His great address in this design,
+      Does now, and will for ever shine,
+    And wants a Waller but to do him right:
+      The whole amusement was so strong,
+      Like fate he doomed them to be wrong,
+    And Tournay's took by a peculiar sleight.
+
+      Thus, madam, all mankind behold
+      Your vast ascendant, not by gold,
+    But by your wisdom, and your pious life;
+      Your aim no more than to destroy
+      That which does Europe's ease annoy,
+    And supersede a reign of shame and strife.
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house, July 24.
+
+My brethren of the quill, the ingenious society of news-writers, having
+with great spirit and elegance already informed the world, that the town
+of Tournay capitulated on the 28th instant, there is nothing left for me
+to say, but to congratulate the good company here, that we have reason
+to hope for an opportunity of thanking Mr. Withers[447] next winter in
+this place, for the service he has done his country. No man deserves
+better of his friends than that gentleman, whose distinguishing
+character it is, that he gives his orders with the familiarity, and
+enjoys his fortune with the generosity, of a fellow-soldier. His Grace
+the Duke of Argyle had also an eminent part in the reduction of this
+important place. That illustrious youth[448] discovers the peculiar
+turn of spirit and greatness of soul which only make men of high birth
+and quality useful to their country; and considers nobility as an
+imaginary distinction, unless accompanied with the practice of those
+generous virtues by which it ought to be obtained. But[449] that our
+military glory is arrived at its present height, and that men of all
+ranks so passionately affect their share in it, is certainly owing to
+the merit and conduct of our glorious general; for as the great secret
+in chemistry, though not in nature, has occasioned many useful
+discoveries; and the fantastic notion of being wholly disinterested in
+friendship, has made men do a thousand generous actions above
+themselves; so, though the present grandeur and fame of the Duke of
+Marlborough is a station of glory to which no one hopes to arrive, yet
+all carry their actions to a higher pitch, by having that great example
+laid before them.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 444: "Aurenzeb is Tom Colson, who never had any friendship
+with anybody but S'r Edward Seymour, who brought him into Parliament"
+(Peter Wentworth to Lord Raby, 29 July 1709; "Wentworth Papers," p. 97).
+Thomas Coulson was elected M.P. for Totnes, with Sir Edward Seymour,
+Bart., in 1698. He was re-elected in 1701, 1702, and in 1705. At the
+election of 1708, Sir Edward Seymour, previously member for Exeter, was
+elected for Totnes; but in 1710, Sir Edward having transferred himself
+to Great Bedwyn, Coulson again became member for Totnes. In 1715,
+Coulson's arrest was sought in the neighbourhood of Bristol for joining
+in the rising on behalf of the Pretender; see a letter of Addison's in
+Hist. MSS. Comm., Second Report, p. 250.]
+
+[Footnote 445: "Hudibras," part i. canto ii. 105-6. Butler wrote, "I'
+the head," &c.]
+
+[Footnote 446: "I should have given you a key to the two _Tatlers_ I
+sent you last, the Brussels Postscript are verses of Crowders. He show'd
+them me in manuscript" (Peter Wentworth to Lord Raby, 29 July 1709;
+"Wentworth Papers," p. 97). See No. 17 note on Brigadier Crowther.]
+
+[Footnote 447: General Henry Withers commanded at the capitulation of
+Tournay. On his death in 1729, he was buried in Westminster Abbey. Pope
+wrote an epitaph beginning:
+
+    "Here, Withers, rest! thou bravest, gentlest mind,
+    Thy country's friend, but more of human-kind."
+]
+
+[Footnote 448: John, second Duke of Argyle (1678-1743), took an active
+part in the battles of Ramilies, Oudenarde, and Malplaquet, and at the
+siege of Tournay.]
+
+[Footnote 449: There was a long-standing hostility between the Duke of
+Marlborough and the Duke of Argyle.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 47. [STEELE.
+
+From _Tuesday, July 26_, to _Thursday, July 28_, 1709.
+
+    Quicquid agunt homines ... nostri farrago libelli.
+                                            Juv., Sat. i. 85, 86.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, July 27.
+
+My friend Sir Thomas[450] has communicated to me his letters from Epsom
+of the 25th instant, which give, in general, a very good account of the
+posture of affairs at present in that place; but that the tranquillity
+and correspondence[451] of the company begins to be interrupted by the
+arrival of Sir Taffety Trippet,[452] a fortune-hunter, whose follies
+are too gross to give diversion; and whose vanity is too stupid to let
+him be sensible that he is a public offence. But if people will indulge
+a splenetic humour, it is impossible to be at ease, when such creatures
+as are the scandal of our species, set up for gallantry and adventures.
+It will be much more easy therefore to laugh him into reason, than
+convert him from his foppery by any serious contempt. I knew a gentleman
+that made it a maxim to open his doors, and ever run into the way of
+bullies, to avoid their insolence. The rule will hold as well with
+coxcombs: they are never mortified, but when they see you receive, and
+despise them; otherwise they rest assured, that it is your ignorance
+makes them out of your good graces; or, that it is only want of
+admittance prevents their being amiable where they are shunned and
+avoided. But Sir Taffety is a fop of so sanguine complexion, that I fear
+it will be very hard for the fair one he at present pursues to get rid
+of the chase, without being so tired, as for her own ease to fall into
+the mouth of the mongrel she runs from. But the history of Sir Taffety
+is as pleasant as his character. It happened, that when he first set up
+for a fortune-hunter, he chose Tunbridge for the scene of action; where
+were at that time two sisters upon the same design. The knight believed
+of course the elder must be the better prize; and consequently makes all
+his sail that way. People that want sense, do always in an egregious
+manner want modesty, which made our hero triumph in making his amour as
+public as was possible. The adored lady was no less vain of his public
+addresses. An attorney with one cause is not half so restless as a woman
+with one lover. Wherever they met, they talked to each other aloud,
+chose each other partner at balls, saluted at the most conspicuous parts
+of the service at church, and practised in honour of each other all the
+remarkable particularities which are usual for persons who admire one
+another, and are contemptible to the rest of the world. These two lovers
+seemed as much made for each other as Adam and Eve, and all pronounced
+it a match of Nature's own making; but the night before the nuptials (so
+universally approved), the younger sister, envious of the good fortune
+even of her sister, who had been present at most of their interviews,
+and had an equal taste for the charms of a fop (as there are a set of
+women made for that order of men); the younger, I say, unable to see so
+rich a prize pass by her, discovered to Sir Taffety, that a coquette
+air, much tongue, and three suits, was all the portion of his mistress.
+His love vanished that moment, himself and equipage the next morning. It
+is uncertain where the lover has been ever since engaged; but certain it
+is, he has not appeared in his character as a follower of love and
+fortune till he arrived at Epsom, where there is at present a young lady
+of youth, beauty, and fortune, who has alarmed[453] all the vain and the
+impertinent to infest that quarter. At the head of this assembly, Sir
+Taffety shines in the brightest manner, with all the accomplishments
+which usually ensnare the heart of woman; with this particular merit
+(which often is of great service), that he is laughed at for her sake.
+The friends of the fair one are in much pain for the sufferings she goes
+through from the perseverance of this hero; but they may be much more so
+from the danger of his succeeding, toward which they give him a helping
+hand, if they dissuade her with bitterness; for there is a fantastical
+generosity in the sex, to approve creatures of the least merit
+imaginable, when they see the imperfections of their admirers are become
+the marks of derision for their sakes; and there is nothing so frequent,
+as that he who was contemptible to a woman in her own judgment, has won
+her by being too violently opposed by others.
+
+
+Grecian Coffee-house, July 27.
+
+In the several capacities I bear, of astrologer, civilian, and
+physician, I have with great application studied the public emolument:
+to this end serve all my lucubrations, speculations, and whatever other
+labours I undertake, whether nocturnal or diurnal. On this motive am I
+induced to publish a never-failing medicine for the spleen: my
+experience in this distemper came from a very remarkable cure on my ever
+worthy friend Tom Spindle,[454] who, through excessive gaiety, had
+exhausted that natural stock of wit and spirits he had long been blessed
+with: he was sunk and flattened to the lowest degree imaginable, sitting
+whole hours over the "Book of Martyrs," and "Pilgrim's Progress"; his
+other contemplations never rising higher than the colour of his urine,
+or regularity of his pulse. In this condition I found him, accompanied
+by the learned Dr. Drachm, and a good old nurse. Drachm had prescribed
+magazines of herbs, and mines of steel. I soon discovered the malady,
+and descanted on the nature of it, till I convinced both the patient and
+his nurse, that the spleen is not to be cured by medicine, but by
+poetry. Apollo, the author of physic, shone with diffusive rays the best
+of poets as well as of physicians; and it is in this double capacity
+that I have made my way, and have found, sweet, easy, flowering numbers,
+are oft superior to our noblest medicines. When the spirits are low, and
+nature sunk, the muse, with sprightly and harmonious notes, gives an
+unexpected turn with a grain of poetry, which I prepare without the use
+of mercury. I have done wonders in this kind; for the spleen is like the
+tarantula,[455] the effects of whose malignant poison are to be
+prevented by no other remedy but the charms of music: for you are to
+understand, that as some noxious animals carry antidotes for their own
+poisons; so there is something equally unaccountable in poetry: for
+though it is sometimes a disease, it is to be cured only by itself. Now
+I knowing Tom Spindle's constitution, and that he is not only a pretty
+gentleman, but also a pretty poet, found the true cause of his distemper
+was a violent grief that moved his affections too strongly: for during
+the late Treaty of Peace, he had written a most excellent poem on that
+subject; and when he wanted but two lines in the last stanza for
+finishing the whole piece, there comes news that the French tyrant would
+not sign. Spindle in few days took his bed, and had lain there still,
+had not I been sent for. I immediately told him, there was great
+probability the French would now sue to us for peace. I saw immediately
+a new life in his eyes; and knew, that nothing could help him forward
+so well, as hearing verses which he would believe worse than his own; I
+read him therefore the "Brussels Postscript";[456] after which I recited
+some heroic lines of my own, which operated so strongly on the tympanum
+of his ear, that I doubt not but I have kept out all other sounds for a
+fortnight; and have reason to hope, we shall see him abroad the day
+before his poem. This you see, is a particular secret I have found out,
+viz., that you are not to choose your physician for his knowledge in
+your distemper, but for having it himself. Therefore I am at hand for
+all maladies arising from poetical vapours, beyond which I never
+pretend. For being called the other day to one in love, I took indeed
+their three guineas, and gave them my advice; which was, to send for
+Æsculapius.[457] Æsculapius, as soon as he saw the patient, cries out,
+"'Tis love! 'tis love! Oh! the unequal pulse! these are the symptoms a
+lover feels; such sighs, such pangs, attend the uneasy mind; nor can our
+art, or all our boasted skill, avail--Yet O fair! for thee--" Thus the
+sage ran on, and owned the passion which he pitied, as well as that he
+felt a greater pain than ever he cured. After which he concluded, "All I
+can advise, is marriage: charms and beauty will give new life and
+vigour, and turn the course of nature to its better prospect." This is
+the new way; and thus Æsculapius has left his beloved powders, and
+writes a recipe for a wife at sixty. In short, my friend followed the
+prescription, and married youth and beauty in its perfect bloom.
+
+    _Supine in Silvia's snowy arms he lies,
+    And all the busy care of life defies:
+    Each happy hour is filled with fresh delight,
+    While peace the day, and pleasure crowns the night._
+
+
+From my own Apartment, July 27.
+
+Tragical passion was the subject of the discourse where I last visited
+this evening; and a gentleman who knows that I am at present writing a
+very deep tragedy, directed his discourse in a particular manner to me.
+"It is the common fault," said he, "of you, gentlemen, who write in the
+buskin style, that you give us rather the sentiments of such who behold
+tragical events, than of such who bear a part in them themselves. I
+would advise all who pretend this way, to read Shakespeare with care,
+and they will soon be deterred from putting forth what is usually called
+'tragedy.' The way of common writers in this kind, is rather the
+description, than the expression of sorrow. There is no medium in these
+attempts; and you must go to the very bottom of the heart, or it is all
+mere language; and the writer of such lines is no more a poet, than a
+man is a physician for knowing the names of distempers, without the
+causes of them. Men of sense are professed enemies to all such empty
+labours: for he who pretends to be sorrowful, and is not, is a wretch
+yet more contemptible than he who pretends to be merry, and is not. Such
+a tragedian is only maudlin drunk." The gentleman went on with much
+warmth; but all he could say had little effect upon me: but when I came
+hither, I so far observed his counsel, that I looked into Shakespeare.
+The tragedy I dipped into was, "Harry the Fourth." In the scene where
+Morton is preparing to tell Northumberland of his son's death, the old
+man does not give him time to speak, but says,
+
+    "_The whiteness of thy cheeks
+    Is apter than thy tongue to tell thy errand;
+    Even such a man, so faint, so spiritless,
+    So dull, so dead in look, so woebegone,
+    Drew Priam's curtain at the dead of night,
+    And would have told him half his Troy was burnt:
+    But Priam found the fire, ere he his tongue,
+    And I my Percy's death ere thou reportest it_"[458]
+
+The image in this place is wonderfully noble and great; yet this man in
+all this is but rising towards his great affliction, and is still enough
+himself, as you see, to make a simile: but when he is certain of his
+son's death, he is lost to all patience, and gives up all the regards of
+this life; and since the last of evils is fallen upon him, he calls for
+it upon all the world.
+
+      "_Now let not Nature's hand
+    Keep the wild flood confined; let Order die,
+    And let the world no longer be a stage,
+    To feed contention in a lingering act;
+    But let one spirit of the firstborn Cain
+    Reign in all bosoms, that each heart being set
+    On bloody courses, the wide scene may end,
+    And darkness be the burier of the dead_."
+
+Reading but this one scene has convinced me, that he who describes the
+concern of great men, must have a soul as noble, and as susceptible of
+high thoughts, as they whom he represents: I shall therefore lay by my
+drama for some time, and turn my thoughts to cares and griefs, somewhat
+below that of heroes, but no less moving. A misfortune proper for me to
+take notice of, has too lately happened: the disconsolate Maria[459] has
+three days kept her chamber for the loss of the beauteous Fidelia, her
+lap-dog. Lesbia herself[460] did not shed more tears for her sparrow.
+What makes her the more concerned, is, that we know not whether Fidelia
+was killed or stolen; but she was seen in the parlour window when the
+train-bands went by, and never since. Whoever gives notice of her, dead
+or alive, shall be rewarded with a kiss of her lady.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 450: See No. 16.]
+
+[Footnote 451: Intercourse.]
+
+[Footnote 452: Henry Cromwell (died 1728) was a correspondent of Pope's,
+and a friend of Wycherley's. "I cannot choose," wrote Mrs. Elizabeth
+Thomas, "but be pleased with the conquest of a person whose fame our
+incomparable Tatler has rendered immortal, by the three distinguishing
+titles of 'Squire Easy the amorous bard'; 'Sir Timothy the critic'; and
+'Sir Taffety Trippet the fortune-hunter'" ("Pylades and Corinna," i. 96,
+194). See also Nos. 49, 165. Cromwell was a man about town, of private
+means, with property in Lincolnshire, who had contributed verses to
+Tonson's "Miscellany." Gay ("Mr. Pope's Welcome from Greece," st. xvii.)
+speaks of "Honest, hatless Cromwell, with red breeches."]
+
+[Footnote 453: Called forth, drawn as with an alarum.]
+
+[Footnote 454: Henry Cromwell; see note on p. 380. According to another
+suggestion, Spindle is intended for Thomas Tickell, who published a
+poem, "The Prospect of Peace," in 1713; but it is not probable that in
+1709 either Addison or Steele would have satirised him; and Cromwell may
+very likely have written verses on the same subject.]
+
+[Footnote 455: A spider named from Tarentum, in Apulia. Strange stories
+were told of the effects of its bite, and of their cure by music and
+dancing.]
+
+[Footnote 456: See No. 46.]
+
+[Footnote 457: Dr. Radcliffe. See No. 44.]
+
+[Footnote 458: 2 Henry IV., act i. sc. I.]
+
+[Footnote 459: "This _Tatler_ I know nothing of, only they say the
+Dutchess of Montague has lately lost a bitch she call'd fidel, and has
+had it cry'd."--(Peter Wentworth to Lord Raby; "Wentworth Papers," p.
+97.)]
+
+[Footnote 460: See Catullus, passim.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 48. [STEELE.
+
+From _Thursday, July 28_, to _Saturday, July 30_, 1709.
+
+    --Virtutem verba putant, et
+    Lucum ligna.
+                                            HOR., 1 Ep. vi. 31.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+From my own Apartment, July 29.
+
+This day I obliged Pacolet to entertain me with matters which regarded
+persons of his own character and occupation. We chose to take our walk
+on Tower Hill; and as we were coming from thence in order to stroll as
+far as Garraway's,[461] I observed two men, who had but just landed,
+coming from the waterside. I thought there was something uncommon in
+their mien and aspect; but though they seemed by their visage to be
+related, yet was there a warmth in their manner, as if they differed
+very much in their sentiments of the subject on which they were talking.
+One of them seemed to have a natural confidence, mixed with an ingenious
+freedom in his gesture, his dress very plain, but very graceful and
+becoming: the other, in the midst of an overbearing carriage, betrayed
+(by frequently looking round him) a suspicion that he was not enough
+regarded by those he met, or that he feared they would make some attack
+upon him. This person was much taller than his companion, and added to
+that height the advantage of a feather in his hat, and heels to his
+shoes so monstrously high, that he had three or four times fallen down,
+had he not been supported by his friend. They made a full stop as they
+came within a few yards of the place where we stood. The plain gentleman
+bowed to Pacolet; the other looked on him with some displeasure: upon
+which I asked him, who they both were, when he thus informed me of their
+persons and circumstances.
+
+"You may remember, Mr. Isaac, that I have often told you, there are
+beings of a superior rank to mankind, who frequently visit the
+habitations of men, in order to call them from some wrong pursuits in
+which they are actually engaged, or divert them from methods which will
+lead them into errors for the future. He that will carefully reflect
+upon the occurrences of his life, will find he has been sometimes
+extricated out of difficulties, and received favours where he could
+never have expected such benefits; as well as met with cross events from
+some unseen hand, which have disappointed his best laid designs. Such
+accidents arrive from the interventions of aërial beings, as they are
+benevolent or hurtful to the nature of man, and attend his steps in the
+tracts of ambition, of business, and of pleasure. Before I ever appeared
+to you in the manner I do now, I have frequently followed you in your
+evening walks, and have often, by throwing some accident in your way, as
+the passing by of a funeral, or the appearance of some other solemn
+object, given your imagination a new turn, and changed a night you had
+destined to mirth and jollity, into an exercise of study and
+contemplation. I was the old soldier who met you last summer in Chelsea
+Fields, and pretended that I had broken my wooden leg, and could not get
+home; but I snapped it short off on purpose, that you might fall into
+the reflections you did on that subject, and take me into your hack. If
+you remember, you made yourself very merry on that fracture, and asked
+me, whether I thought I should next winter feel cold in the toes of that
+leg? As is usually observed, that those who lose limbs, are sensible of
+pains in the extreme parts, even after those limbs are cut off. However,
+my keeping you then in the story of the battle of the Boyne, prevented
+an assignation, which would have led you into more disasters than I then
+related.
+
+"To be short; those two persons you see yonder, are such as I am; they
+are not real men, but are mere shades and figures: one is named Alethes;
+the other, Verisimilis. Their office is to be the guardians and
+representatives of Conscience and Honour. They are now going to visit
+the several parts of the town, to see how their interests in the world
+decay or flourish, and to purge themselves from the many false
+imputations they daily meet with in the commerce and conversation of
+men. You observed Verisimilis frowned when he first saw me. What he is
+provoked at, is, that I told him one day, though he strutted and dressed
+with so much ostentation, if he kept himself within his own bounds, he
+was but a lackey, and wore only that gentleman's livery whom he is now
+with. This frets him to the heart; for you must know, he has pretended a
+long time to set up for himself, and gets among a crowd of the more
+unthinking part of mankind, who take him for a person of the first
+quality; though his introduction into the world was wholly owing to his
+present companion."
+
+This encounter was very agreeable to me, and I was resolved to dog
+them, and desired Pacolet to accompany me. I soon perceived what he told
+me in the gesture of the persons: for when they looked at each other in
+discourse, the well-dressed man suddenly cast down his eyes, and
+discovered that the other had a painful superiority over him. After some
+further discourse, they took leave. The plain gentleman went down
+towards Thames Street, in order to be present, at least, at the oaths
+taken at the Custom-house; and the other made directly for the heart of
+the city. It is incredible how great a change there immediately appeared
+in the man of honour when he got rid of his uneasy companion: he
+adjusted the cock of his hat anew, settled his sword-knot, and had an
+appearance that attracted a sudden inclination for him and his interests
+in all who beheld him. "For my part," said I to Pacolet, "I cannot but
+think you are mistaken in calling this person, of the lower quality; for
+he looks much more like a gentleman than the other. Don't you observe
+all eyes are upon him as he advances: how each sex gazes at his stature,
+aspect, address, and motion?" Pacolet only smiled, and shaked his head;
+as leaving me to be convinced by my own further observation. We kept on
+our way after him till we came to Exchange Alley, where the plain
+gentleman again came up to the other; and they stood together after the
+manner of eminent merchants, as if ready to receive application; but I
+could observe no man talk to either of them. The one was laughed at as a
+fop; and I heard many whispers against the other, as a whimsical sort of
+fellow, and a great enemy to trade. They crossed Cornhill together, and
+came into the full 'Change, where some bowed, and gave themselves airs
+in being known to so fine a man as Verisimilis, who, they said, had
+great interests in all princes' courts; and the other was taken notice
+of by several as one they had seen somewhere long before. One more
+particularly said, he had formerly been a man of consideration in the
+world; but was so unlucky, that they who dealt with him, by some strange
+infatuation or other, had a way of cutting off their own bills, and were
+prodigiously slow in improving their stock. But as much as I was curious
+to observe the reception these gentlemen met with upon 'Change, I could
+not help being interrupted by one that came up towards us, to whom
+everybody made their compliments. He was of the common height, and in
+his dress there seemed to be great care to appear no way particular,
+except in a certain exact and feat[462] manner of behaviour and
+circumspection. He was wonderfully careful that his shoes and clothes
+should be without the least speck upon them; and seemed to think, that
+on such an accident depended his very life and fortune. There was hardly
+a man on 'Change who had not a note upon him; and each seemed very well
+satisfied that their money lay in his hands, without demanding payment.
+I asked Pacolet, what great merchant that was, who was so universally
+addressed to, yet made too familiar an appearance to command that
+extraordinary deference? Pacolet answered, "This person is the demon or
+genius of credit: his name is Umbra. If you observe, he follows Alethes
+and Verisimilis at a distance; and indeed has no foundation for the
+figure he makes in the world, but that he is thought to keep their cash;
+though at the same time, none who trust him would trust the others for a
+groat." As the company rolled about, the three spectres were jumbled
+into one place: when they were so, and all thought there was an alliance
+between them, they immediately drew upon them the business of the whole
+'Change. But their affairs soon increased to such an unwieldy bulk, that
+Alethes took his leave, and said, he would not engage further than he
+had an immediate fund to answer. Verisimilis pretended that though he
+had revenues large enough to go on his own bottom, yet it was below one
+of his family to condescend to trade in his own name; therefore he also
+retired. I was extremely troubled to see the glorious mart of London
+left with no other guardian, but him of credit. But Pacolet told me,
+that traders had nothing to do with the honour or conscience of their
+correspondents, provided they supported a general behaviour in the
+world, which could not hurt their credit or their purses: "for," said
+he, "you may in this one tract of building of London and Westminster see
+the imaginary motives on which the greatest affairs move, as well as in
+rambling over the face of the earth. For though Alethes is the real
+governor, as well as legislator of mankind, he has very little business
+but to make up quarrels, and is only a general referee, to whom every
+man pretends to appeal; but is satisfied with his determinations no
+further than they promote his own interest. Hence it is, that the
+soldier and the courtier model their actions according to Verisimilis'
+manner, and the merchant according to that of Umbra. Among these men,
+honour and credit are not valuable possessions in themselves, or pursued
+out of a principle of justice; but merely as they are serviceable to
+ambition and to commerce. But the world will never be in any manner of
+order or tranquillity, till men are firmly convinced, that conscience,
+honour, and credit, are all in one interest; and that without the
+concurrence of the former, the latter are but impositions upon ourselves
+and others. The force these delusive words have, is not seen in the
+transactions of the busy world only, but also have their tyranny over
+the fair sex. Were you to ask the unhappy Lais, what pangs of
+reflection, preferring the consideration of her honour to her
+conscience, has given her? She could tell you, that it has forced her to
+drink up half a gallon this winter of Tom Dassapas' potions; that she
+still pines away for fear of being a mother; and knows not, but the
+moment she is such, she shall be a murderess: but if conscience had as
+strong a force upon the mind, as honour, the first step to her unhappy
+condition had never been made; she had still been innocent, as she's
+beautiful. Were men so enlightened and studious of their own good, as to
+act by the dictates of their reason and reflection, and not the opinion
+of others, Conscience would be the steady ruler of human life; and the
+words, Truth, Law, Reason, Equity, and Religion, would be but synonymous
+terms for that only guide which makes us pass our days in our own favour
+and approbation."
+
+
+
+[Footnote 461: A coffee-house in Exchange Alley, Cornhill, with an
+auction-room on the first floor, where wine and other things were sold
+(see No, 147). Thomas Garway was originally a tobacconist and
+coffee-man. Defoe ("Journey through England") says that this
+coffee-house was frequented by "the people of quality who have business
+in the City, and the most considerable and wealthy citizens."]
+
+[Footnote 462: Adroit.]
+
+
+
+
+No. 49. [STEELE.
+
+From _Saturday, July 30_, to _Tuesday, August 2, 1709._
+
+    Quicquid agunt homines ... nostri farrago libelli.
+                                            JUV., Sat. i. 85, 86.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+White's Chocolate-house, August 1.
+
+The imposition of honest names and words upon improper subjects, has
+made so regular a confusion amongst us, that we are apt to sit down with
+our errors, well enough satisfied with the methods we are fallen into,
+without attempting to deliver ourselves from the tyranny under which we
+are reduced by such innovations. Of all the laudable motives of human
+life, none has suffered so much in this kind as love; under which
+revered name, a brutal desire called lust is frequently concealed and
+admitted; though they differ as much as a matron from a prostitute, or a
+companion from a buffoon. Philander[463] the other day was bewailing
+this misfortune with much indignation, and upbraided me for having some
+time since quoted those excellent lines of the satirist:
+
+    _To an exact perfection they have brought
+    The action love, the passion is forgot._[464]
+
+"How could you," said he, "leave such a hint so coldly? How could
+Aspasia[465] and Sempronia[466] enter into your imagination at the same
+time, and you never declare to us the different reception you gave them?
+The figures which the ancient mythologists and poets put upon love and
+lust in their writings, are very instructive. Love is a beauteous blind
+child, adorned with a quiver and a bow, which he plays with, and shoots
+around him, without design or direction; to intimate to us, that the
+person beloved has no intention to give us the anxieties we meet with;
+but that the beauties of a worthy object are like the charms of a lovely
+infant: they cannot but attract your concern and fondness, though the
+child so regarded is as insensible of the value you put upon it, as it
+is that it deserves your benevolence. On the other side, the sages
+figured Lust in the form of a satyr; of shape, part human, part bestial;
+to signify, that the followers of it prostitute the reason of a man to
+pursue the appetites of a beast. This satyr is made to haunt the paths
+and coverts of the wood-nymphs and shepherdesses, to lurk on the banks
+of rivulets, and watch the purling streams (as the resorts of retired
+virgins), to show, that lawless desire tends chiefly to prey upon
+innocence, and has something so unnatural in it, that it hates its own
+make, and shuns the object it loved, as soon as it has made it like
+itself. Love therefore is a child that complains and bewails its
+inability to help itself, and weeps for assistance, without an immediate
+reflection of knowledge of the food it wants: Lust, a watchful thief
+which seizes its prey, and lays snares for its own relief; and its
+principal object being innocence, it never robs, but it murders at the
+same time. From this idea of a Cupid and a Satyr, we may settle our
+notion of these different desires, and accordingly rank their followers.
+Aspasia must therefore be allowed to be the first of the beauteous Order
+of Love, whose unaffected freedom, and conscious innocence, give her the
+attendance of the graces in all her actions. That awful distance which
+we bear towards her in all our thoughts of her, and that cheerful
+familiarity with which we approach her, are certain instances of her
+being the truest object of love of any of her sex. In this accomplished
+lady, love is the constant effect, because it is never the design. Yet,
+though her mien carries much more invitation than command, to behold her
+is an immediate check to loose behaviour; and to love her is a liberal
+education:[467] for, it being the nature of all love to create an
+imitation of the beloved person in the lover, a regard for Aspasia
+naturally produces decency of manners, and good conduct of life in her
+admirers. If therefore the giggling Lucippe could but see her train of
+fops assembled, and Aspasia move by them, she would be mortified at the
+veneration with which she is beheld, even by Lucippe's own unthinking
+equipage, whose passions have long taken leave of their understandings.
+But as charity is esteemed a conjunction of the good qualities necessary
+to a virtuous man, so love is the happy composition of all the
+accomplishments that make a fine gentleman. The motive of a man's life
+is seen in all his actions; and such as have the beauteous boy for their
+inspirer have a simplicity of behaviour, and a certain evenness of
+desire, which burns like the lamp of life in their bosoms; while they
+who are instigated by the satyr are ever tortured by jealousies of the
+object of their wishes; often desire what they scorn, and as often
+consciously and knowingly embrace where they are mutually indifferent.
+
+Florio, the generous husband, and Limberham, the "kind keeper,"[468] are
+noted examples of the different effects which these desires produce in
+the mind. Amanda, who is the wife of Florio, lives in the continual
+enjoyment of new instances of her husband's friendship, and sees it the
+end of all his ambition to make her life one series of pleasure and
+satisfaction; and Amanda's relish of the goods of life, is all that
+makes them pleasing to Florio: they behave themselves to each other when
+present with a certain apparent benevolence, which transports above
+rapture; and they think of each other in absence with a confidence
+unknown to the highest friendship: their satisfactions are doubled,
+their sorrows lessened by participation. On the other hand, Corinna, who
+is the mistress of Limberham,[469] lives in constant torment: her
+equipage is, an old woman, who was what Corinna is now; an antiquated
+footman, who was pimp to Limberham's father; and a chambermaid, who is
+Limberham's wench by fits, out of a principle of politics to make her
+jealous and watchful of Corinna. Under this guard, and in this
+conversation, Corinna lives in state: the furniture of her habitation,
+and her own gorgeous dress, make her the envy of all the strolling
+ladies in the town; but Corinna knows she herself is but part of
+Limberham's household stuff, and is as capable of being disposed of
+elsewhere, as any other movable. But while her keeper is persuaded by
+his spies, that no enemy has been within his doors since his last visit,
+no Persian prince was ever so magnificently bountiful: a kind look or
+falling tear is worth a piece of brocade, a sigh is a jewel, and a smile
+is a cupboard of plate. All this is shared between Corinna and her guard
+in his absence. With this great economy and industry does the unhappy
+Limberham purchase the constant tortures of jealousy, the favour of
+spending his estate, and the opportunity of enriching one by whom he
+knows he is hated and despised. These are the ordinary and common evils
+which attend keepers, and Corinna is a wench but of common size of
+wickedness. Were you to know what passes under the roof where the fair
+Messalina reigns with her humble adorer! Messalina is the professed
+mistress of mankind; she has left the bed of her husband and her
+beauteous offspring, to give a loose to want of shame and fulness of
+desire. Wretched Nocturnus, her feeble keeper! How the poor creature
+fribbles in his gait, and scuttles from place to place to despatch his
+necessary affairs in painful daylight, that he may return to the
+constant twilight preserved in that scene of wantonness, Messalina's
+bedchamber. How does he, while he is absent from thence, consider in his
+imagination the breadth of his porter's shoulders, the spruce nightcap
+of his valet, the ready attendance of his butler! Any of all whom he
+knows she admits, and professes to approve of. This, alas! is the
+gallantry; this the freedom of our fine gentlemen: for this they
+preserve their liberty, and keep clear of that bugbear, marriage. But he
+does not understand either vice or virtue, who will not allow, that life
+without the rules of morality is a wayward uneasy being, with snatches
+only of pleasure; but under the regulation of virtue, a reasonable and
+uniform habit of enjoyment. I have seen in a play of old Heywood's, a
+speech at the end of an act, which touched this point with much spirit.
+He makes a married man in the play, upon some endearing occasion, look
+at his spouse with an air of fondness, and fall into the following
+reflection on his condition:
+
+    "_O Marriage! happiest, easiest, safest state;
+    Let debauchees and drunkards scorn thy rights,
+    Who, in their nauseous draughts and lusts, profane
+    Both thee and Heaven by whom thou wert ordained.
+    How can the savage call it loss of freedom,
+    Thus to converse with, thus to gaze at
+    A faithful, beauteous friend?
+    Blush not, my fair one, that thy love applauds thee,
+    Nor be it painful to my wedded wife,
+    That my full heart overflows in praise of thee.
+    Thou art by law, by interest, passion, mine:
+    Passion and reason join in love of thee.
+    Thus, through a world of calumny and fraud,
+    We pass both unreproached, both undeceived;
+    While in each other's interest and happiness,
+    We without art all faculties employ,
+    And all our senses without guilt enjoy_."
+
+
+St. James's Coffee-house August 1.
+
+Letters from the Hague of the 6th instant, N.S., say, that there daily
+arrive at our camp deserters in considerable numbers; and that several
+of the enemy concealed themselves in the town of Tournay when the
+garrison marched into the citadel; after which, they presented
+themselves to the Duke of Marlborough; some of whom were commissioned
+officers. The Earl of Albemarle is appointed governor of the town. Soon
+after the surrender, there arose a dispute about a considerable work,
+which was asserted by the Allies to be part of the town, and by the
+French to belong to the citadel. It is said, Monsieur de Surville was so
+ingenious as to declare, he thought it to be comprehended within the
+limits of the town; but Monsieur de Mesgrigny, governor of the citadel,
+was of a contrary opinion. It is reported, that this affair occasioned
+great difficulties, which ended in a capitulation for the citadel
+itself; the principal article of which is, that it shall be surrendered
+on the 5th of September next, in case they are not in the meantime
+relieved. This circumstance gives foundation to believe, that the enemy
+have acted in this manner, rather from some hopes they conceive of a
+treaty of peace before that time, than any expectation from their army,
+which has retired towards their former works between Lens and La Bassée.
+These advices add, that his Excellency the Czarish Ambassador has
+communicated to the States-General, and the foreign Ministers residing
+at the Hague, a copy of a letter from his master's camp, which gives an
+account of the entire defeat of the Swedish army. They further say, that
+Count Piper is taken prisoner, and that it is doubted whether the King
+of Sweden himself was not killed in the action. We hear from Savoy, that
+Count Thaun having amused the enemy by a march as far as the Tarantaise,
+had suddenly repassed Mount Cenis, and moved towards Briançon. This
+unexpected disposition is apprehended by the enemy as a piece of the
+Duke of Savoy's dexterity; and the French adding this circumstance to
+that of the Confederate squadron's lying before Toulon, convince
+themselves, that his royal highness has his thoughts upon the execution
+of some great design in those parts.
+
+
+
+[Footnote 463: See No. 13.]
+
+[Footnote 464: See No. 5.]
+
+[Footnote 465: Lady Elizabeth Hastings (see No. 42).]
+
+[Footnote 466: See No. 33.]
+
+[Footnote 467: In the _Spectator_ for March 29, 1884, Mr. Swinburne
+published a letter saying that Steele was not the author of these famous
+words,--"the most exquisite tribute ever paid to the memory of a noble
+woman"; for the article in No. 42 was by Congreve. But Mr. Justin
+McCarthy afterwards pointed out that these words occur in No. 49, not
+No. 42; and whether or no Congreve wrote the paper in No. 42 which is at
+least doubtful--the article in No. 49 is certainly Steele's.]
+
+[Footnote 468: The title of one of Dryden's plays.]
+
+[Footnote 469: Henry Cromwell and Mrs. Elizabeth Thomas. See No. 47.]
+
+
+
+
+END OF VOL. I.
+
+Printed by BALLANTYNE, HANSON & Co. London & Edinburgh.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of Project Gutenberg's The Tatler, Volume 1, 1899, by George A. Aitken
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13645 ***