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diff --git a/old/13467.txt b/old/13467.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7422ca1 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13467.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6222 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Study of Child Life, by Marion Foster +Washburne + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Study of Child Life + +Author: Marion Foster Washburne + +Release Date: September 15, 2004 [eBook #13467] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK STUDY OF CHILD LIFE*** + + +E-text prepared by Stan Goodman, Leah Moser, and the Project Gutenberg +Online Distributed Proofreading Team + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustrations. + See 13467-h.htm or 13467-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/4/6/13467/13467-h/13467-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/4/6/13467/13467-h.zip) + + + + + +STUDY OF CHILD LIFE + +by + +MARION FOSTER WASHBURNE + + + + + + + +THE LIBRARY OF HOME ECONOMICS + +A COMPLETE HOME-STUDY COURSE + +ON THE NEW PROFESSION OF HOME-MAKING AND ART OF RIGHT LIVING; +THE PRACTICAL APPLICATION OF THE MOST RECENT ADVANCES +IN THE ARTS AND SCIENCES TO HOME AND HEALTH + +PREPARED BY TEACHERS OF RECOGNIZED AUTHORITY + +FOR HOME-MAKERS, MOTHERS, TEACHERS, PHYSICIANS, NURSES, DIETITIANS, +PROFESSIONAL HOUSE MANAGERS, AND ALL INTERESTED +IN HOME, HEALTH, ECONOMY AND CHILDREN + +TWELVE VOLUMES + +NEARLY THREE THOUSAND PAGES, ONE THOUSAND ILLUSTRATIONS +TESTED BY USE IN CORRESPONDENCE INSTRUCTION +REVISED AND SUPPLEMENTED + +[Illustration: AMERICAN SCHOOL OF HOME ECONOMICS] + +CHICAGO +AMERICAN SCHOOL OF HOME ECONOMICS +1907 + + +[Illustration: A MODERN MADONNA.] + + +AUTHORS + + +ISABEL BEVIER, Ph.M. + + Professor of Household Science, University of Illinois. Author + U.S. Government Bulletins, "Development of the Home Economics + Movement in America," etc. + +ALICE PELOUBET NORTON, M.A. + + Assistant Professor of Home Economics, School of Education, + University of Chicago; Director of the Chautauqua School of + Domestic Science. + +S. MARIA ELLIOTT + + Instructor in Home Economics, Simmons College; Formerly + Instructor School of Housekeeping, Boston. + +ANNA BARROWS + + Director Chautauqua School of Cookery; Lecturer Teachers' + College, Columbia University, and Simmons College; formerly + Editor "American Kitchen Magazine;" Author "Home Science Cook + Book." + +ALFRED CLEVELAND COTTON, A.M., M.D. + + Professor Diseases of Children, Rush Medical College, + University of Chicago; Visiting Physician Presbyterian + Hospital, Chicago; Author of "Diseases of Children." + +BERTHA M. TERRILL, A.B. + + Professor in Home Economics in Hartford School of Pedagogy; + Author of U.S. Government Bulletins. + +KATE HEINTZ WATSON + + Formerly Instructor in Domestic Economy, Lewis Institute; + Lecturer University of Chicago. + +MARION FOSTER WASHBURNE + + Editor "The Mothers' Magazine;" Lecturer Chicago Froebel + Association; Author "Everyday Essays", "Family Secrets," etc. + +MARGARET E. DODD + + Graduate Massachusetts Institute of Technology; Teacher of + Science, Woodward Institute. + +AMY ELIZABETH POPE + + With the Panama Canal Commission; Formerly Instructor in + Practical and Theoretical Nursing, Training School for Nurses, + Presbyterian Hospital, New York City. + +MAURICE LE BOSQUET, S.B. + + Director American School of Home Economics; Member American + Public Health Association and American Chemical Society. + + + + +CONTRIBUTORS AND EDITORS + + +ELLEN H. RICHARDS + + Author "Cost of Food," "Cost of Living," "Cost of Shelter," + "Food Materials and Their Adulteration," etc., etc.; Chairman + Lake Placid Conference on Home Economics. + +MARY HINMAN ABEL + + Author of U.S. Government Bulletins, "Practical Sanitary and + Economic Cooking," "Safe Food," etc. + +THOMAS D. WOOD, M.D. + + Professor of Physical Education, Columbia University. + +H.M. LUFKIN, M.D. + + Professor of Physical Diagnosis and Clinical Medicine, + University of Minnesota. + +OTTO FOLIN, Ph.D. + + Special Investigator, McLean Hospital, Waverly, Mass. + +T. MITCHELL PRUDDEN, M.D., LL.D. + + Author "Dust and Its Dangers," "The Story of the Bacteria," + "Drinking Water and Ice Supplies," etc. + +FRANK CHOUTEAU BROWN + + Architect, Boston, Mass.; Author of "The Five Orders of + Architecture," "Letters and Lettering." + +MRS. MELVIL DEWEY + + Secretary Lake Placid Conference on Home Economics. + +HELEN LOUISE JOHNSON + + Professor of Home Economics, James Millikan University, + Decatur. + +FRANK W. ALLEN, M.D. + + Instructor Rush Medical College, University of Chicago. + + * * * * * + +MANAGING EDITOR + + +MAURICE LE BOSQUET, S.B. + + Director American School of Home Economics. + + + + +BOARD OF TRUSTEES OF THE AMERICAN SCHOOL OF HOME ECONOMICS + + * * * * * + +MRS. ARTHUR COURTENAY NEVILLE + + President of the Board. + +MISS MARIA PARLOA + + Founder of the first Cooking School in Boston; Author of "Home + Economics," "Young Housekeeper," U.S. Government Bulletins, + etc. + +MRS. MARY HINMAN ABEL + + Co-worker in the "New England Kitchen," and the "Rumford Food + Laboratory;" Author of U.S. Government Bulletins, "Practical + Sanitary and Economic Cooking," etc. + +MISS ALICE RAVENHILL + + Special Commissioner sent by the British Government to report + on the Schools of Home Economics in the United States; Fellow + of the Royal Sanitary Institute, London. + +MRS. ELLEN M. HENROTIN + + Honorary President General Federation of Woman's Clubs. + +MRS. FREDERIC W. SCHOFF + + President National Congress of Mothers. + +MRS. LINDA HULL LARNED + + Past President National Household Economics Association; + Author of "Hostess of To-day." + +MRS. WALTER McNAB MILLER + + Chairman of the Pure Food Committee of the General Federation + of Woman's Clubs. + +MRS. J.A. KIMBERLY + + Vice President of the National Household Economics + Association. + +MRS. JOHN HOODLESS + + Government Superintendent of Domestic Science for the province + of Ontario; Founder Ontario Normal School of Domestic Science, + now the MacDonald Institute. + + + + +[Illustration: A MADONNA OF THE WILD. +A Takima mother, with papoose] + + + + + + + +STUDY OF CHILD LIFE + +BY + +MARION FOSTER WASHBURNE + +Associate Editor Mother's Magazine; Author "Everyday Essays," "Family +Secrets," etc.; Lecturer to Chicago Froebel Association + + + +[Illustration: AMERICAN SCHOOL OF HOME ECONOMICS] + +CHICAGO AMERICAN SCHOOL OF HOME ECONOMICS 1907 + + + + + +CONTENTS + + + AN OPEN LETTER + + DEVELOPMENT OF THE CHILD + + FAULTS AND THEIR REMEDIES + + CHARACTER BUILDING + + PLAY + + OCCUPATIONS + + ART AND LITERATURE IN CHILD LIFE + + STUDIES AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS + + FINANCIAL TRAINING + + RELIGIOUS TRAINING + + APPLICATION OF PRINCIPLES + + OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN + + THE SEX QUESTION + + FATHERS + + THE UNCONSCIOUS INFLUENCE + + ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS + + BIBLIOGRAPHY + + SUPPLEMENTAL STUDY PROGRAM + + INDEX + + + + + AMERICAN SCHOOL OF HOME ECONOMICS + + CHICAGO + + January 1, 1907. + + My dear Madam: + +In beginning this subject of the "Study of Child Life" there may +be lurking doubts in your mind as to whether any reliable rules can +really be laid down. They seem to arise mostly from the perception of +the great difference between children. What will do for one child will +not do for another. Some children are easily persuaded and gentle, +others willful, still others sullen unresponsive. How, then, is +it possible that a system of education and training can be devised +suitable for their various dispositions? + +We must remember that children are much more alike than they are +different. One may have blue eyes, another gray, another black, but +they all have two. We are, therefore, in a position to make rules for +creatures having two eyes and these rules apply to eyes of all colors. +Children may be nervous, sanguine, bilious, or plethoric, but they all +have the same kind of internal organs end the same general rules of +health apply to them all. + +In this series of lessons I have endeavored to set forth principles +briefly and to confirm them by instances within the experience of +every observer of childhood. The rules given are such as are held at +present by the best educators to be based upon sound philosophy, not +at variance with the slight array or scientific facts at our command. +Perhaps you yourself may be able to add to the number of reliable +facts intelligently reported that must be collected before much +greater scientific advance is possible. + +There is, to be sure, an art of application of these rules both in +matters of health of body and of health of mind and this art must be +worked out by each mother for each individual child. + +We all recognize that it is a long endeavor before we can apply to our +own lives such principles of conduct as we heartily acknowledge to be +right. Why, then, expect to be able to apply principles instantly +and unerringly to a little child? If a rule fails when you attempt +to apply it, before questioning the principle, may it not be well to +question your own tact and skill? + +So far as I can advise with you in special instances of difficulty, I +shall be very glad to do so; not that I shall always know what to do +myself, but that we can get a little more light upon the problems by +conferring together. I know well how difficult a matter this of child +training is, for every day, in the management of my own family of +children, I find each philosophy, science and art as I can command +very much put to the test. + +Sincerely yours, + +[Signature: Marion Foster Washburne.] + + Instructor + +[Illustration: FREIDRICH FROEBEL +By courtesy of The Perry Pictures Co., Malden, Mass.] + + + + +STUDY OF CHILD LIFE + + + +PART I. + + + +The young of the human species is less able to care for itself than +the young of any other species. Most other creatures are able to walk, +or at any rate stand, within a few hours of birth. But the human baby +is absolutely dependent and helpless, unable even to manufacture all +the animal heat that he requires. The study of his condition at birth +at once suggests a number of practical procedures, some of them quite +at variance with the traditional procedures. + + + + +HOW THE CHILD DEVELOPS + + +[Sidenote: Condition at Birth] + +Let us see, then, exactly what his condition is. In the first place, +he is, as Virchow, an authority on physiological subjects declares, +merely a spinal animal. Some of the higher brain centers do not yet +exist at all, while others are in too incomplete a state for service. +The various sensations which the baby experiences--heat, light, +contact, motion, etc.--are so many stimuli to the development of these +centers. If the stimulus is too great, the development is sometimes +unduly hastened, with serious results, which show themselves chiefly +in later life. The child who is brought up a noisy room, is constantly +talked to and fondled, is likely to develop prematurely, to talk and +walk at an early age; also to fall into nervous decay at an early age. +And even if by reason of an unusually good heredity he escapes these +dangers, it is almost certain that his intellectual power is not +so great in adult life as it would have been under more favorable +conditions. A new baby, like a young plant, requires darkness and +quiet for the most part. As he grows older, and shows a spontaneous +interest in his surroundings, he may fittingly have more light, more +companionship, and experience more sensations. + +[Sidenote: Weight at Birth] + +The average boy baby weighs about seven pounds at birth; the average +girl, about six and a half pounds. The head is larger in proportion +to the body than in after life; the nose is incomplete, the legs short +and bowed, with a tendency to fall back upon the body with the knees +flexed. This natural tendency should be allowed full play, for the +flexed position is said to be favorable to the growth of the bones, +permitting the cartilaginous ends of the bones to lie free from +pressure at the joints. + +The plates of the skull are not complete and do not fit together at +the edges. Great care needs to be taken of the soft spot thus left +exposed on the top of the head--the undeveloped place where the edges +of these bones come together. Any injury here in early life is liable +to affect the mind. + +[Sidenote: State of Development] + +The bony enclosures of the middle ear are unfinished and the eyes also +are unfinished. It is a question yet to be settled, whether a +new-born baby is blind and deaf or not. At a rate, he soon acquires a +sensitiveness to both light and sound, although it is three years +or more before he has amassed sufficient experience to estimate with +accuracy the distance of objects seen or herd. He can cry, suck, +sneeze, cough, kick, and hold on to a finger. All of these acts, +though they do not yet imply personality, or even mind, give evidence +of a wonderful organism. They require the co-operation of many +delicate nerves and muscles--a co-operation that has as yet baffled +the power of scientists to explain. + +Although the young baby is in almost constant motion while he is +awake, he is altogether too weak to turn himself in bed or to escape +from an uncomfortable position, and he remains so for many weeks. This +constant motion is necessary to his muscular development, his control +of his own muscles, his circulation, and, very probably, to the +free transmission of nervous energy. Therefore, it is of the first +importance that he has freedom to move, and he should be given time +every day to move and stretch before the fire, without clothes on. It +is well to rub his back and legs at the same time, thus supplementing +his gymnastics with a gentle massage. + +[Sidenote: Educational Beginnings.] + +By the time he is four or five weeks old it is safe to play with him, +a little every day, and Froebel has made his "Play with the Limbs" one +of his first educational exercises. In this play the mother lays the +baby, undressed, upon a pillow and catches the little ankles in her +hands. Sometimes she prevents the baby from kicking, so that he has +to struggle to get his legs free; sometimes she helps him, so that +he kicks more freely and regularly; sometimes she lets him push hard +against her breast. All the time she laughs and sings to him, and +Froebel has made a little song for this purposes. Since consciousness +is roused and deepened by sensations, remembered, experienced, and +compared, it is evident that this is more than a fanciful play; that +it is what Froebel claimed for it--a real educational exercise. By +means, of it the child may gain some consciousness of companionship, +and thus, by contrast, a deeper self-consciousness. + +[Sidenote: First Efforts] + +The baby is at first unable to hold up its head, and in this he is +just like all other animals, for no animal, except man, holds up its +head constantly. The human baby apparently makes the effort, because +he desires to see more clearly--he could doubtless see clearly enough +for all physical purposes with his head hung down, but not enough to +satisfy his awakening mentality. The effort to hold the head up and to +look around is therefore regarded by most psychologists as one of +the first tokens of an awakening intellectual life. And this is true, +although the first effort seems to arise from an overplus of nervous +energy which makes the neck muscles contract, just as it makes other +muscles contract. The first slight raisings of the head are like the +first kicking movements, merely impulsive; but the child soon sees the +advantage of this apparently accidental movement and tries to master +it. Preyer[A] considers that the efforts to balance the head among the +first indications that the child's will is taking possession of his +muscles. His own boy arrived at this point when he was between three +and four months old. + +[Sidenote: Reflex Grasping] + +The grasp of the new-born baby's hand has a surprising power, but the +baby himself has little to do with it. The muscles act because of +a stimulus presented by the touch of the fingers, very much as the +muscles of a decapitated frog contract when the current of electricity +passes over them. This is called reflex grasping, and Dr. Louis +Robinson,[B] thinking that this early strength of gasp was an +important illustration of and evidence for evolution, tried +experiments on some sixty new-born babies. He found that they could +sustain their whole weight by the arms alone when their hands were +clasped about a slender rod. They grasped the rod at once and could +be lifted from the bed by it and kept in this position about half a +minute. He argued that this early strength of arm, which soon begins +to disappear, was survival from the remote period when the baby's +ancestors were monkeys or monkey-like people who lived in trees. + +[Sidenote: Beginnings Of Will Power] + +However this may be, during the first week the baby's hands are much +about his face. By accident they reach, the mouth, they are sucked; +the child feels himself suck its own fist; he feels his fist being +sucked. Some day it will occur to him that that fist belongs to +the same being who owns the sucking mouth. But at this point, Miss +Shinn[C] has observed, the baby is often surprised and indignant that +he cannot move his arms around and at the same time suck his fist. +This discomfort helps him to make an effort to get his fist into his +mouth and keep it there, and this effort shows his will, beginning to +take possession of his hands and arms. + +[Sidenote: Growth of Will] + +Since any faculty grows by its own exercise, just as muscles grow by +exercise, every time the baby succeeds in getting his hands to his +mouth as a result of desire, every time that he succeeds in grasping +an object as result of desire, his will power grows. Action of this +nature brings in new sensations, and the brain centers used for +recording such sensations grow. + +As the sensations multiply, he compares them, and an idea is born. For +the beginnings of mental development no other mechanism is actually +needed than a brain and a hand and the nerves connecting them. Laura +Bridgeman and Helen Keller, both of them deaf and blind, received +their education almost entirely through their hands, and yet they +were unusually capable of thinking. The child's hands, then, from the +beginning, are the servants of his brain-instruments by means of +which he carries impressions from the outer world to the seat of +consciousness, and by which in turn he imprints his consciousness upon +the outer world. + +[Sidenote: Intentional Grasping] + +The average baby does not begin to grasp objects with intention before +the fourth month. The first grasping seems to be done by feeling, +without the aid of the eye, and is done with the fingers with no +attempt to oppose the thumb to them. So closely does the use of the +thumbs set opposite the fingers in grasping coincide with the first +grasping with the aid of sight, that some observers have been led to +believe that as soon as the baby learns to use its thumb in this way +he proves that he is beginning to grasp with intention. + +[Sidenote: Order of Development] + +The order of development seems to be, _first_, automatism, the muscles +contracting of themselves in response to nervous stimuli; _second_, +instinct, the inherited wisdom of the race, which discovered ages ago +that the hand could be used to greater advantage when the thumb +was separated from the fingers; and _thirdly_, the child's own +intelligence and will making use of this natural and inherited +machinery. This order holds true of the development, not only of the +hand, but of the whole organism. + +[Sidenote: Looking] + +A little earlier than this, during the third month, the baby first +looks upon his own hands and notices them. Darwin tells us that his +boy looked at his own hands and seemed to study them until his eyes +crossed. About the same then the child notices his foot and uses his +hand to carry it to its mouth. It is some time later that he discovers +that he can move his feet without his hands. + +[Sidenote: Tearing] + +About this time, three or four months old, the child begins to tear +paper into pieces, and may be easily taught to let the piece, that +have found their way into his mouth be taken out again. Now, too, he +begins to throw things, or to drop them; then he wants to get them +back again, and the patient mother must pick them up and give them +back many times. Sometimes a baby is punished for this proclivity, +but it is really a part of his development, and at least once a day he +should be allowed to play in this manner to his heart's content. It +is tact, not discipline, that is needed, and the more he is helped +the sooner he will live through this stage and come to the next point +where he begins to throw things. + +[Sidenote: Throwing] + +In this stage, of course, he must be given the proper things to +throw--small, bright-colored worsted balls, bean-bags, and other +harmless objects. If he is allowed to discover the pleasure there is +in smashing glass and china, he will certainly be, for a time, a very +destructive little person. When later he is able to creep throw his +ball and creep after it--he will amuse himself for hours at a time, +and so relieve those who have patiently attended him up to this time. +_In general we may lay down the rule, that the more time and attention +of the right sort is to a young child, the less will need to be given +as he grows older_. It is poor economy to neglect a young child, and +try to make it up on the growing boy or girl. This is to substitute a +complicated and difficult problem for a simple one. + +[Sidenote: The Grasping Instinct] + +It is some time before a child's will can so overcome his +newly-acquired tendency to grasp every possible object that he can +keep his hand off of anything that invites him. The many battles +between mothers and children it the subject of not touching forbidden +things are at this stage a genuine wrong and injustice to the child. +So young a child is scarcely more responsible for touching whatever he +can reach that is a piece of steel for being drawn toward a powerful +magnet. Preyer says that it is years before voluntary inhibitions +of grasping become possible. The child has not the necessary brain +machinery. Commands and sparring of the hands create bewilderment and +tend to build up a barrier between mother and child. Instead of doing +such thing, simply put high out of reach and sight whatever the child +must not touch. + +Another way in which young children are often made to suffer because +of the ignorance of parents is the leaving of undesired food on the +child's plate. Every child, when he does not want his food, pushes the +plate away from him, and many mothers push it back and scold. The real +truth is that the motor suggestion of the food upon the plate is so +strong that the child feels as if he were being forced to eat it every +time he looks at the plate; to escape from eating it he is obliged to +push it out of sight. + +[Sidenote: The Three Months' Baby] + +But this difficulty comes later. Now we are concerned with a +three-months-old baby. At this stage the child is usually able to +balance his head, to sit up against pillows, to seize and grasp +objects, and to hold out his arm, when he wishes to be taken. +Although he may have made number of efforts to sit erect, and may have +succeeded for a few minutes at a time, he still is far from being able +to sit alone, unsupported. This he does not accomplish until the fifth +or the month. + +[Sidenote: Danger of Forcing] + +There is nothing to be gained by trying to make him sit alone sooner; +indeed, there is danger in it--danger in forcing young bones and +muscles to do work beyond their strength, and danger also to the +nerves. It is safe to say that _a normal child always exercises all +its faculties to the utmost without need of urging, and any exercise +beyond the point of natural fatigue, if persisted in, is sure to bring +about abnormal results_. + +[Sidenote: Creeping] + +The first efforts toward creeping often appear in the bath when the +child turns over and raise, himself upon his hands and knees. This is +sign that he might creep sooner, if he were not impeded by clothing. +He should be allowed to spread himself upon a blanket every day for +an hour or two, and to get on his knees as frequently as he pleases. +Often he needs a little help to make him creep forward, for most +babies creep backward at first, their arms being stronger than their +legs. Here the mother may safely interfere, pushing the legs as they +ought to go and showing the child how to manage himself; for very +often he becomes much excited over his inability to creep forward. + +The climbing instinct begins to appear by this time--the seventh +month--and here the stair-case has its great advantages. It ought not +to be shut from him by a gate, but he should be taught how to climb +up and down it in safety. To do this, start him at the head of the +stairs, and, you yourself being below him, draw first one knee and +then the other over the step, thus showing him how to creep backward. +Two lessons of about twenty minutes each will be sufficient. The +only danger is creeping down head foremost, but if he once learns +thoroughly to go backward, and has not been allowed the other way at +all, he will never dream of trying it. In going down backward, if he +should slip, he can easily save himself by catching the stairs with +his hands as he slips past. + +The child who creeps is often later in his attempts to walk than the +child who does not; and, therefore, when he is ready to walk, his legs +will be all the stronger, and the danger of bow-legs will be past. As +long as the child remains satisfied with creeping, he is not yet ready +either mentally or physically for walking. + +[Sidenote: Standing] + +If the child has been allowed to creep about freely, he will soon +be standing. He will pull himself to his feet by means of any chair, +table, or indeed anything that he may get hold of. To avoid injuring +him, no flimsy chairs or spindle-legged tables should be allowed in +his nursery. He will next begin to sidle around a chair, shuffling his +feet in a vague fashion, and sometimes, needing both of his hands to +seize some coveted object, he will stand without clinging, leaning on +his stomach. An unhurried child may remain at this stage for weeks. + +[Sidenote: Walking] + +Let alone, as he should be, he will walk without knowing how he does +it, and will be the stronger for having overcome his difficulties +himself. He should not be coaxed to stand or walk. The things in his +room actually urge him to come and get them. Any further persuasion is +forced, and may urge him beyond his strength. + +Walking-chairs and baby-jumpers are injurious in this respect. They +keep the child from his native freedom of sprawling, climbing, and +pulling himself up. The activity they do permit is less varied and +helpful than the normal activity, and the child, restricted from the +preparatory motions, begins to walk too soon. + +[Sidenote: Alternate Growth] + +A curious fact in the growth of children is that they seem to grow +heavier for a certain period, and then to grow taller for a similar +period. That is, a very young baby, say, two months old, will grow +fatter for about six weeks, and then for the next six weeks will grow +longer, while the child of six years changes his manner of growth +every three or four months. These periods are variable, or at least +their law has not yet been established, but the observant mother can +soon make the period out for herself in the case of her own child. For +two or three days, when the manner of growth seems to be changing +from breadth to length, and vice versa, the children are likely to +be unusually nervous and irritable, and these aberrations must, of +course, be patiently borne with. + +[Sidenote: Precocity] + +[Sidenote: Early Ripening] + +In all these things some children develop earlier than others, but too +early development is to be regretted. Precocious children are always +of a delicate nervous organization. Fiske[D] has proved to us that the +reason why the human young is so far more helpless and dependent than +the young of any other species is because the activities of the human +race have become so many, so widely varied, and so complex, that they +could not fix themselves in the nervous structure before birth. There +a only a few things that the chick needs to know in order to lead a +successful chicken life; as a consequence these few things are well +impressed upon the small brain before ever he chips the shell; but the +baby needs to learn a great many things--so many that there is no +time or room to implant them before birth, or indeed, in the few years +immediately succeeding birth. To hurry the development, therefore, +of certain few of these faculties, like the faculties of talking, +and walking, of imitation or response, is to crowd out many other +faculties perhaps just beginning to grow. Such forcing will limit the +child's future development to the few faculties whose growth is thus +early stimulated. Precocity in a child, therefore, is a thing to be +deplored. His early ripening foretells a early decay and a wise mother +is she who gives her child ample opportunity for growing, but no +urging. + +[Sidenote: Ample Opporunity for Growth] + +Ample opportunity for growth includes (1) Wholesome surroundings, (2) +Sufficient sleep, (3) Proper clothing, (4) Nourishing food. We will +take up these topics in order. + + +[Footnote A: W. Preyer. Professor of Physiology, of Jena, author of +"The Mind of the Child." D. Appleton & Co.] + +[Footnote B: Dr. Robinson. Physician and Evolutionist, paper in The +Eclectic, Vol. 29.] + +[Footnote C: Miss Millicent Shinn, American Psychologist, author of +"Biography of a Baby."] + +[Footnote D: John Fiske, writer on Evolutionary Philosophy. His theory +of infancy is perhaps his most important contribution to science.] + + + + +WHOLESOME SURROUNDINGS + + +The whole house in which the child lives ought to be well warmed and +equally well aired. Sunlight also is necessary to his well-being. If +it is impossible to have this in every room, as sometimes happens in +city homes, at least the nursery must have it. In the central States +of the Union plants and trees exposed to the southern sun put forth +their leaves two weeks sooner than those exposed to the north. The +infant cannot fail to profit by the same condition, for the young +child may be said to lead in part a vegetative as well as an animal +life, and to need air and sunshine and warmth as much as plants do. +The very best room in the house is not too good for the nursery, for +in no other room is such important and delicate work being done. + +[Illustration: JOHN FISKE] + +[Sidenote: Temperature] + +The temperature is a matter of importance. It should not be decided +by guess-work, but a thermometer should be hung upon a wall at a +place equally removed from draft and from the source of heat. The +temperature for children during the first year should be about 70 +degrees Fahrenheit during the day and not lower than 50 degrees at +night. Children who sleep with the mother will not be injured by a +temperature 5 to 20 degrees lower at night. + +[Sidenote: Fresh Air] + +It is important to provide means for the ingress of fresh air. It is +not sufficient to air the room from another room unless that other +room has in it an open window. Even then the nursery windows should +be opened wide from fifteen minutes to half an hour night and morning, +while the child is in another room; and this even when the weather is +at zero or below. It does not take long to warm up room that has been +aired. Perhaps the best means of obtaining the ingress of fresh air +without creating a draft upon the floor, where the baby spends so much +of his time, is to raise the window six inches at the top or bottom +and insert a board cut to fit the aperture. + +[Sidenote: Daily Outing] + +But no matter how well ventilated the nursery may be, all children +more than six weeks old need unmodified outside air, and need it every +day, no matter what the weather, unless they are sick. + +The daily outing secures them better appetites, quiet sleep, and +calmer nerves. Let them be properly clothed and protected in their +carriages, and all weathers are good for them. + +Children who take their naps in their baby-carriages may with +advantage be wheeled into a sheltered spot, covered warmly, and left +to sleep in the outer air. They are likely to sleep longer than in the +house, and find more refreshment in their sleep. + + + + +SUFFICIENT SLEEP. + + +Few children in America get as much sleep as they really need. Preyer +gives the record of his own child, and the hours which this child +found necessary for his sleep and growth may be taken for a standard. +In the first month, sixteen, in full, out of twenty-four hours were +spent in sleep. The sleep rarely lasted beyond two hours at a time. +In the second month about the same amount was spent in sleep, which +lasted from three to six hours at a time. In the sixth month, it +lasted from six to eight hours at a time, and began to diminish to +fifteen hours in the twenty-four. In the thirteenth month, fourteen +hours' sleep daily; it the seventeenth, prolonged sleep began, ten +hours without interruption; in the twentieth, prolonged sleep became +habitual, and sleep in the day-time was reduced to two hours. In the +third year, the night sleep lasted regularly from eleven to twelve +hours, and sleep in the daytime was no longer required. + +[Sidenote: Naps] + +Preyer's record stops here. But it may be added that children from +three to eight years still require eleven hours' sleep; and, although +the child of three nay not need a daily nap, it is well for him, until +he is six years old, to lie still for an hour in the middle of the +day, amusing himself with a picture book or paper and pencil, but +not played with or talked to by any other person. Such a rest in the +middle of the day favors the relaxation of muscles and nerves and +breaks the strain of a long day of intense activity. + + + + +PROPER CLOTHING. + + +Proper clothing for a child includes three things: (a) Equal +distribution of warmth, (b) Freedom from restraint, (c) Light weight. + +_Equal distribution of warmth_ is of great importance, and is seldom +attained. The ordinary dress for a young baby, for example, leaves +the arms and the upper part of the chest unprotected by more than one +thickness of flannel and one of cotton--the shirt and the dress. About +the child's middle, on the contrary, there are two thicknesses of +flannel--a shirt and band--and five of cotton, i.e., the double bands +of the white and flannel petticoats, and the dress. Over the legs, +again, are two thicknesses of flannel and two of cotton, i.e., the +pinning blanket, flannel skirt, white skirt, and dress. The child in +a comfortably warm house needs two thicknesses of flannel and one of +cotton all over it, and no more. + +[Sidenote: The Gertrude Suit] + +The practice of putting extra wrappings about the abdomen is +responsible for undue tenderness of those organs. Dr. Grosvenor, of +Chicago, who designed a model costume for a baby, which he called the +Gertrude suit, says that many cases of rupture are due to bandaging of +the abdomen. When the child cries the abdominal walls normally expand; +if they are tightly bound, they cannot do this, and the pressure upon +one single part, which the bandages may not hold quite firmly, becomes +overwhelming, and results in rupture. Dr. Grosvenor also thinks that +many cases of weak lungs, and even of consumption in later life, are +due to the tight bands of the skirts pressing upon the soft ribs of +the young child, and narrowing the lung space. + +[Sidenote: Objection to the Pinning Blanket] + +_Freedom from restraint._. Not only should the clothes not bind the +child's body in any way, but they should not be so long as to prevent +free exercise of the legs. The pinning-blanket is objectionable on +this account. It is difficult for the child to kick in it; and as we +have seen before, kicking is necessary to the proper development of +the legs. Undue length of skirt operates in the same way--the weight +of cloth is a check upon activity. The first garment of a young baby +should not be more than a yard in length from the neck to the bottom +of the hem, and three-quarters of a yard is enough for the inner +garment. + +The sleeves, too, should be large and loose, and the arm-size should +be roomy, so as to prevent chafing. The sleeves may be tied in at the +wrist with a ribbon to insure warmth. + +_Lightness of weight._ The underclothing should be made of pure wool, +so as to gain the greatest amount of warmth from the least weight. +In the few cases where wool would cause irritation, a silk and wool +fixture makes a softer but more expensive garment. Under the best +conditions, clothes restrict and impede free development somewhat, and +the heavier they are the more they impede it. Therefore, the effort +should be to get the greatest amount of warmth with the least possible +weight. Knit garments attain this most perfectly, but the next +best thing is all-wool flannel of a fine grade. The weave known as +stockinet is best of all, because goods thus made cling to the body +and yet restrict its activity very little. + +The best garments for a baby are made according to the accompanying +diagram. + +[Sidenote: Princess Garment] + +They consist of three garments, to be worn one over the other, each +one an inch longer in every way than the underlying one. The first is +a princess garment, made of white stockinet, which takes the place of +shirt, pinning-blanket, and band. Before cutting this out, a box-pleat +an inch and a half wide should be laid down the middle of the front, +and a side pleat three-fourths of an inch wide on either side of the +placket in the back. The sleeve should have a tuck an inch wide. These +tucks and pleats are better run in be hand, so that they may be easily +ripped. As the baby grows and the flannel shrinks, these tucks and +pleats can be let out. + +[Illustration: DIAGRAM OF THE "GERTRUDE" SUIT.] + +The next garment, which goes over this, is made in the same way, only +an inch larger in every measurement. It is made of baby flannel, and +takes the place of the flannel petticoat with its cotton band. Over +these two garments any ordinary dress may be worn. Dressed in this +suit, the child is evenly covered with too thicknesses of flannel +and one of cotton. As the skirts are rather short, however, and he is +expected to move his legs about freely, he may well wear long white +wool stockings. + +As the child grows older, the principles underlying this method of +clothing should be borne in mind, and clothes should be designed and +adapted so as to meet these three requirements. + + + + +FOOD. + + +[Sidenote: Natural Food] + +[Sidenote: Bottle-fed Babies] + +The natural food of a young baby is his mother's milk, and no +satisfactory substitute for it has yet been found. Some manufactured +baby foods do well for certain children; to others they are almost +poison; and for none of them are they sufficient. The milk of the cow +is not designed for the human infant. It contains too much casein, and +is too difficult of digestion. Various preparations of milk and grains +are recommended by nurses and physicians, but no conscientious nurse +or physician pretends that any of them begins to equal the nutritive +value of human milk. More women can nurse their babies than now think +they can; the advertisements of patent foods lead them to think the +rather of little importance, and they do not make the necessary +effort to preserve and increase the natural supply of milk. The family +physician can almost always better the condition of the mother who +really desires to nurse her own child, and he should be consulted and +his directions obeyed. The importance of a really great effort to this +direction is shown by the fact that the physical culture records, +now so carefully kept in many of our schools and colleges, prove that +bottle-fed babies are more likely to be of small stature, and to have +deficient bones, teeth and hair, than children who have been fed on +mother's milk. + +[Sidenote: Simple Diet] + +The food question is undoubtedly the most important problem to the +physical welfare of the child, and has, as well, a most profound +effect upon his disposition and character. Indiscriminate feeding is +the cause of much of the trouble and worry of mothers. This subject is +taken up at length in other papers of this course, and it will suffice +to say here that the table of the family with young children should be +regulated largely by the needs of the growing sons and daughters. The +simplified diet necessary may well be of benefit to other members of +the family. + + + + +FAULTS AND THEIR REMEDIES. + + +The child born of perfect parents, brought up perfectly, in a perfect +environment, would probably have no faults. Even such a child, +however, would be at times inconvenient, and would do and say things +at variance with the order of the adult world. Therefore he might +seem to a hasty, prejudiced observer to be naughty. And, indeed, +imperfectly born, imperfectly trained as children now are, many of +their so-called faults are no more than such inconvenient crossings of +an immature will with an adult will. + +[Illustration: JEAN PAUL RICHTER] + +[Sidenote: The Child's World and the Adult's World] + +No grown person, for instance, likes to be interrupted, and is likely +to regard the child who interrupts him wilfully naughty. No young +child, on the contrary, objects to being interrupted in his speech, +though he may object to being interrupted in his play; and he +cannot understand why an adult should set so much store on the quiet +listening which is so infrequent in his own experience. Grown persons +object to noise; children delight in it. Grown persons like to have +things kept in their places; to a child, one place as good as another. +Grown persons have a prejudice in favor of cleanliness; children like +to swim, but hate to wash, and have no objections whatever to grimy +hands and faces. None of these things imply the least degree of +obliquity on the child's part; and yet it is safe to say that +nine-tenths of the children who are punished are punished for some +of these things. The remedy for these inconveniences is time +and patience. The child, if left to himself, without a word of +admonishment, would probably change his conduct in these respects, +merely by the force of imitation, provided that the adults around +him set him, a persistent example of courtesy, gentleness, and +cleanliness. + +[Sidenote: Real Faults] + +The faults that are real faults, as Richter[A] says, are those faults +which increase with age. These it is that need attention rather than +those that disappear of themselves as the child grows older. This +rule ought to be put in large letters, that every one who has to train +children may be daily reminded by it; and not exercise his soul and +spend his force in trying to overcome little things which may perhaps +be objectionable, but which will vanish to-morrow. Concentrate your +energies on the overcoming of such tendencies as may in time develop +into permanent evils. + +[Sidenote: Training the Will] + +To accomplish this, you most, of course, train the child's own will, +because no one can force another person into virtue against his will. +The chief object of all training is, as we shall see in the next +section, to lead the child to love righteousness, to prefer right +doing to wrong doing; to make right doing a permanent desire. +Therefore, in all the procedures about to be suggested, an effort is +made to convince the child of the ugliness and painfulness of wrong +doing. + +[Sidenote: Natural Punishment] + +Punishment, as Herbert Spencer[B] agrees with Froebel[C] in pointing +out, should be as nearly as possible a representation of the natural +result of the child's action; that is, the fault should be made to +punish itself as much as possible without the interference of any +outside person; for the object is not to make the child bend his +will to the will of another, but make him see the fault itself as an +undesirable thing. + +[Sidenote: Breaking the Will] + +The effort to break the child's will has long been recognized as +disastrous by all educators. A broken will is worse misfortune than a +broken back. In the latter case the man is physically crippled; in +the former, he is morally crippled. It is only a strong, unbroken, +persistent will that is adequate to achieve self-mastery, and mastery +of the difficulties of life. The child who is too yielding and +obedient in his early days is only too likely to be weak and +incompetent in his later days. The habit of submission to a more +mature judgment is a bad habit to insist upon. The child should be +encouraged to think out things for himself; to experiment and discover +for himself why his ideas do not work; and to refuse to give them up +until he is genuinely convinced of their impracticability. + +[Sidenote: Emergencies] + +It is true that there are emergencies in which his immature judgment +and undisciplined will must yield to wiser judgment and steadier will; +but such yielding should not be suffered to become habitual. It is +a safety valve merely, to be employed only when the pressure of +circumstances threatens to become dangerous. An engine whose safety +valve should be always in operation could never generate much power. +Nor is there much difficulty in leading even a very strong-willed +and obstinate child to give up his own way under extraordinary +circumstances. If he is not in the habit of setting up his own will +against that of his mother or teacher, he will not set it up when the +quick, unfamiliar word of command seems to fit in the with the unusual +circumstances. Many parents practice crying "Wolf! wolf!" to their +children, and call the practice a drill of self-control; but they meet +inevitably with the familiar consequences: when the real wolf comes +the hackneyed cry, often proved false, is disregarded. + +[Illustration: Herbert Spencer] + +[Sidenote: Disobedience] + +When the will is rightly trained, disobedience is a fault that rarely +appears, because, of course, where obedience is seldom required, it is +seldom refused. The child needs to obey--that is true; but so does his +mother need to obey, and all other persons about him. They all need to +obey God, to obey the laws of nature, the impulses of kindness, and +to follow after the ways of wisdom. Where such obedience is a +settled habit of the entire household, it easily, and, as it were, +unconsciously, becomes the habit of the child. Where such obedience is +not the habit of the household, it is only with great difficulty that +it can become the habit of the child. His will must set itself against +its instinct of imitativeness, and his small house, not yet quite +built, must be divided against itself. Probably no cold even rendered +entire obedience to any adult who did not himself hold his own wishes +in subjection. As Emerson says, "In dealing with my child, my Latin +and my Greek, my accomplishments and my money, stead me nothing, +but as much soul as I have avails. If I a willful, he sets his will +against mine, one for one, and leaves me, if I please, the degradation +of beating him by my superiority of strength. But, if I renounce my +will and act for the soul, setting that up as an umpire between us +two, out of his young eyes looks the same soul; he reveres and loves +with me." + +[Sidenote: Negative Goodness] + +Suppose the child to be brought to such a stage that he is willing to +do anything his father or mother says; suppose, even, that they never +tell him to do anything that he does not afterwards discover to be +reasonable and just; still, what has he gained? For twenty years +he has not had the responsibility for a single action, for a single +decision, right or wrong. What is permitted is right to him; what +is forbidden is wrong. When he goes out into the world without his +parents, what will happen? At the best he will not lie, or steal, or +commit murder. That is, he will do none of these things in their bald +and simple form. + +But in their beginnings these are hidden under a mask of virtue and +he has never been trained to look beneath that mask; as happened to +Richard Feveril,[D] sin may spring upon him unaware. Some one else, +all his life, has labeled things for him; he is not in the habit of +judging for himself. He is blind, deaf, and helpless--a plaything of +circumstances. It is a chance whether he falls into sin or remains +blameless. + +[Sidenote: Real Disobedience] + +Disobedience, then, in a true sense, does not mean failure to do as he +is told to do. It means failure to do the things that he knows to +be right. He must be taught to listen and obey the voice of his own +conscience; and if that voice should ever speak, as it sometimes +does, differently from the voice of the conscience of his parents +or teachers, its dictates must still be respected by these older and +wiser persons, and he must be permitted to do this thing which in +itself may be foolish, but which is not foolish, to him. + +[Sidenote: Liberty] + +And, on the other hand, the child who will have his own way even when +he knows it to be wrong should be allowed to have it within reasonable +limits. Richter says, leave to him the sorry victory, only exercising +sufficient ingenuity to make sure that it is a sorry one. What he must +be taught is that it is not at all a pleasure to have his own way, +unless his own way happens to be right; and this he can only be taught +by having his own way when the results are plainly disastrous. Every +time that a willful child does what he wants to do, and suffers +sharply for it, he learns a lesson that nothing but this experience +can teach him. + +[Sidenote: Self-Punishment] + +But his suffering must be plainly seen to be the result of his deed, +and not the result of his mother's anger. For example, a very young +child who is determined to play with fire may be allowed to touch the +hot lamp or a stove, whenever affairs can be so arranged that he is +not likely to burn himself too severely. One such lesson is worth all +the hand-spattings and cries of "No, no!" ever resorted to by anxious +parents. If he pulls down the blocks that you have built up for him, +they should stay down, while you get out of the room, if possible, in +order to evade all responsibility for that unpleasant result. + +Prohibitions are almost useless. In order to convince yourself of +this, get some one to command you not to move your right arm or to +wink your eye. You will find it almost impossible to obey for even +a few moments. The desire to move your arm, which was not at all +conscious before, will become overpowering. The prohibition acts like +a suggestion, and is an implication that you would do the negative act +unless you were commanded not to. Miss Alcott, in "Little Men," well +illustrates this fact in the story of the children who were told not +to put beans up their noses and who straightway filled their noses +with beans. + +[Sidenote: Positive Commands] + +As we shall see in the next section, Froebel meets this difficulty by +substituting positive commands for prohibitions; that is, he tells the +child to do instead of telling him not to do. Tiedemann[E] says that +example is the first great evolutionary teacher, and liberty is the +second. In the overcoming of disobedience, no other teachers are +needed. The method may be tedious; it may be many years before the +erratic will is finally led to work in orderly channels; but there is +no possibility of abridging the process. There is no short and sudden +cure for disobedience, and the only hope for final cure is the steady +working of these two great forces, _example_ and _liberty._ + +To illustrate the principles already indicated, we will consider some +specific problems together with suggestive treatment for each. + + +[Footnote A: Jean Paul Richter, "Der einsige." German writer and +philosopher. His rather whimsical and fragmentary book on education, +called "Levana," contains some rare scraps of wisdom much used by +later writers on educational topics.] + +[Footnote B: Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher and Scientist. His +book on "Education" is sound and practical.] + +[Footnote C: Freidrich Froebel, German Philosopher and Educator, +founder of the Kindergarten system, and inaugurator of the new +education. His two great books are "The Education of Man" and "The +Mother Play."] + +[Footnote D: "The Ordeal of Richard Feveril," by George Meredith.] + +[Footnote E: Tiedemann, German Psychologist.] + + + + +QUICK TEMPER. + + +This, as well as irritability and nervousness, very often springs from +a wrong physical condition. The digestion may be bad, or the child +may be overstimulated. He may not be sleeping enough, or may not +get enough outdoor air and exercise. In some cases the fault appears +because the child lacks the discipline of young companionship. Even +the most exemplary adult cannot make up to the child for the influence +of other children. He perceives the difference between himself +and these giants about him, and the perception sometimes makes him +furious. His struggling individuality finds it difficult to maintain +itself under the pressure of so many stronger personalities. He makes, +therefore, spasmodic and violent attempts of self-assertion, and these +attempts go under the name of fits of temper. + +The child who is not ordinarily strong enough to assert himself +effectively will work himself up into a passion in order to gain +strength, much as men sometimes stimulate their courage by liquor. In +fact, passion is a sort of moral intoxication. + +[Sidenote: Remedy--Solitude and Quiet] + +But whether the fits of passion are physical or moral, the immediate +remedy is the same--his environment must be promptly changed and his +audience removed. He needs solitude and quiet. This does not mean +shutting him into a closet, but leaving him alone in a quiet room, +with plenty of pleasant things about. This gives an opportunity for +the disturbed organism to right itself, and for the will to recover +its normal tone. Some occupation should be at hand--blocks or other +toys, if he is too young to read; a good book or two, such as Miss +Alcott's "Little Men" and "Little Women," when he is old enough to +read. + +If he is destructive in his passion, he must be put in a room where +there are very few breakables to tempt him. If he does break anything +he must be required to help mend it again. To shout a threat to this +effect through the door when the storm of temper is still on, is only +to goad him into fresh acts of rebellion. Let him alone while he is in +this temporarily insane state, and later, when he is sorry and wants +to be good, help him to repair the mischief he has wrought. It is as +foolish to argue with or to threaten the child in this state as it +would be were he a patient in a lunatic asylum. + +It is sometimes impossible to get an older child to go into retreat. +Then, since he cannot be carried, and he is not open to remonstrance +or commands, go out of the room yourself and leave him alone there. At +any cost, loneliness and quiet must be brought to bear upon him. + +Such outbursts are exceedingly exhausting, using up in a few minutes +as much energy as would suffice for many days of ordinary activity. +After the attack the child needs rest, even sleep, and usually seeks +it himself. The desire should be encouraged. + +[Sidenote: Precautions to be Taken] + +Every reasonable precaution should be taken against the recurrence of +the attacks, for every lapse into this excited state makes him more +certain the next lapse and weakens the nervous control. This does not +mean that you should give up any necessary or right regulations for +fear of the child's temper. If the child sees that you do this, he +will on occasion deliberately work himself up into a passion in order +to get his own way. But while you do not relax any just regulations, +you may safely help him to meet them. Give him warning. For instance, +do not spring any disagreeable commands upon him. Have his duties as +systematized as possible so that he may know what to expect; and do +not under any circumstances nag him nor allow other children to tease +him. + + + + +SULLENNESS. + + +This fault likewise often has a physical cause, seated very frequently +in the liver. See that the child's food is not too heavy. Give him +much fruit, and insist upon vigorous exercise out of doors. Or he may +perhaps not have enough childish pleasures. For while most children +are overstimulated, there still remain some children whose lives are +unduly colorless and eventless. A sullen child is below the normal +level of responsiveness. He needs to be roused, wakened, lifted out of +himself, and made to take an active interest in other persons and in +the outside world. + +[Sidenote: Inheritance and Example] + +In many cases sullenness is an inherited disposition intensified by +example. It is unchildlike and morbid to an unusual degree and very +difficult to cure. The mother of a sullen child may well look to her +own conduct and examine with a searching eye the peculiarities of her +own family and of her husband's. She may then find the cause of the +evil, and by removing the child from the bad example and seeing to it +that every day contains a number of childish pleasures, she may win +him away from a fault that will otherwise cloud his whole life. + + + + +LYING + + +All lies are not bad, nor all liars immoral. A young child who cannot +yet understand the obligations of truthfulness cannot be held morally +accountable for his departure from truth. Lying is of three kinds. + +(1.) _The imaginative lie._ (2.) _The evasive lie._ (3.) _The politic +lie._ + +[Sidenote: Imaginative "Lying"] + +(1.) It is rather hard to call the imaginative lie a lie at all. It is +so closely related to the creative instinct which makes the poet +and novelist and which, common among the peasantry of a nation, +is responsible for folk-lore and mythology, that it is rather an +intellectual activity misdirected than a moral obliquity. Very +imaginative children often do not know the difference between what +they imagine and what they actually see. Their minds eye sees as +vividly as their bodily eye; and therefore they even believe their own +statements. Every attempt at contradiction only brings about a fresh +assertion of the impossible, which to the child becomes more and more +certain as he hears himself affirming its existence. + +Punishment is of no use at all in the attempt to regulate this +exuberance. The child's large statements should be smiled at and +passed over. In the meantime, he should be encouraged in every +possible way to get a firm, grasp of the actual world about him. +Manual training, if it can be obtained, is of the greatest advantage, +and for a very young child, the performance every day of some little +act, which demands accuracy and close attention, is necessary. For the +rest, wait; this is one of the faults that disappear with age. + +[Sidenote: The Lie of Evasion] + +(2.) The lie of evasion is a form of lying which seldom appears when +the relations between child and parents are absolutely friendly and +open. However, the child who is very desirous of approval may find +it difficult to own up to a fault, even when he is certain that the +consequence of his offense will not be at all terrible. This is the +more difficult, because the more subtle condition. It is obvious that +the child who lies merely to avoid punishment can be cured of that +fault by removing from him the fear of punishment. To this end, he +should be informed that there will be no punishment whatever for any +fault that he freely confesses. For the chief object of punishment +being to make him face his own fault and to see it as something ugly +and disagreeable, that object is obviously accomplished by a free and +open confession, and no further punishment is required. + +But when the child in spite of such reassurance still continues to +lie, both because he cannot bear to have you think him capable of +wrong-doing, and because he is not willing to acknowledge to himself +that he is capable of wrong-doing, the situation becomes more complex. +All you can do is to urge upon him the superior beauty of frankness; +to praise him and love him, especially when he does acknowledge a +fault, thus leading him to see that the way to win your approval--that +approval which he desires so intensely--is to face his own +shortcomings with a steady eye and confess them to you unshrinkingly. + +[Sidenote: The Politic Lie] + +(3.) The politic lie is of course the worst form of lying, partly +because it is so unchildlike. This is the kind of fault that will grow +with age; and grow with such rapidity that the mother must set herself +against it with all the force at her command. The child who lies +for policy's sake, in order to achieve some end which is most easily +achieved by lying, is a child led into wrong-doing by his ardent +desire to get something or do something. Discover what this something +is, and help him to get it by more legitimate means. If you point out +the straight path, and show the goal well in view, at the end of it, +he may be persuaded not to take the crooked path. + +[Sidenote: Inherited Crookedness] + +But there are occasionally natures that delight in crookedness and +that even in early childhood. They would rather go about getting their +heart's desire in some crooked, intricate, underhanded way than by the +direct route. Such a fault is almost certain to be an inherited one; +and here again, a close study of the child's relatives will often help +the mother to make a good diagnosis, and even suggest to her the line +of treatment. + +[Sidenote: Extreme Cases] + +In an extreme case, the family may unite in disbelieving the child who +lies, not merely disbelieving him, when he is lying, but disbelieving +him all the time, no matter what he says. He must be made to see, and, +that without room for any further doubt, that the crooked paths that +he loves do not lead to the goal his heart desires, but away from it. +His words, not being true to the facts, have lost their value, and +no one around him listens to them. He is, as it were, rendered +speechless, and his favorite means of getting his own way is thus made +utterly valueless. Such a remedy is in truth a terrible one. While +it is being administered, the child suffers to the limit of his +endurance; and it is only justified in an extreme case, and after the +failure of all gentler means. + + + + +JEALOUSY. + + +[Sidenote: Justice and Love] + +Too often this deadly evil is encouraged in infancy, instead of being +promptly uprooted as it ought to be. It is very amusing, if one does +not consider the consequences, to sec a little child slap and push +away the father or the older brother, who attempts to kiss the mother; +but this is another fault that grows with years, and a fault so +deadly that once firmly rooted it can utterly destroy the beauty +and happiness of an otherwise lovely nature. The first step toward +overcoming it must be to make the reign of strict justice in the home +so obvious as to remove all excuse for the evil. The second step is to +encourage the child's love for those very persons of whom he is most +likely to be jealous. If he is jealous of the baby, give him special +care of the baby. Jealousy indicates a temperament overbalanced +emotionally; therefore, put your force upon the upbuilding of the +child's intellect. Give him responsibilities, make him think out +things for himself. Call upon him to assist in the family conclaves. +In every way cultivate his power of judgment. The whole object of the +treatment should be to strengthen his intellect and to accustom his +emotions to find outlet in wholesome, helpful activity. + +One wise mother made it a rule to pet the next to the baby. The +baby, she said, was bound to be petted a good deal because of its +helplessness and sweetness, therefore she made a conscious effort to +pet the next to the youngest, the one who had just been crowded out +of the warm nest of mother's lap by the advent of the newcomer. Such a +rule would go far to prevent the beginnings of jealousy. + + + + +SELFISHNESS. + + +This is a fault to which strong-willed children are especially liable. +The first exercise of will-power after it has passed the stage of +taking possession of the child's own organism usually brings him into +conflict with those about him. To succeed in getting hold of a thing +against the wish of someone else, and to hold on to it when someone +else wants it, is to win a victory. The coveted object becomes dear, +not so much for its own sake, as because it is a trophy. Such a child +knows not the joy of sharing; he knows only the joys of wresting +victory against odds. This is indeed an evil that grows with the +years. The child who holds onto his apple, his Candy, or toy, fights +tooth and nail everyone who wants to take it from him, and resists all +coaxing, is liable to become a hard, sordid, grasping man, who stops +at no obstacle to accomplish his purpose. + +Yet in the beginning, this fault often hides itself and escapes +attention. The selfish child may be quiet, clean, and under ordinary +circumstances, obedient. He may not even be quarrelsome; and may +therefore come under a much less degree of discipline than his +obstreperous, impulsive, rebellious little brother. Yet, in reality, +his condition calls for much more careful attention than does the +condition of the younger brother. + +[Sidenote: The Only Child] + +However, the child who has no brother at all, either older or younger, +nor any sister, is almost invited by the fact of his isolation to fall +into this sin. Only children may be--indeed, often are--precocious, +bright, capable, and well-mannered, but they are seldom spontaneously +generous. Their own small selves occupy an undue proportion of the +family horizon, and therefore of their own. + +[Sidenote: Kindergarten a Remedy] + +This is where the Kindergarten has its great value. In the true +Kindergarten the children live under a dispensation of loving justice, +and selfishness betrays itself instantly there, because it is alien +to the whole spirit of the place. Showing itself, it is promptly +condemned, and the child stands convicted by the only tribunal whose +verdict really moves him--a jury of his peers. Normal children hate +selfishness and condemn it, and the selfish child himself, following +the strong, childish impulse of imitation, learns to hate his own +fault; and so quick is the forgiveness of children that he needs only +to begin to repent before the circle of his mates receives him again. + +This is one reason why the Kindergarten takes children at such an +early age. Aiming, as it does, to lay the foundations for right +thinking and feeling, it must begin before wrong foundations are too +deeply laid. Its gentle, searching methods straighten the strong will +that is growing crooked, and strengthen the enfeebled one. + +[Sidenote: Intimate Association a Help] + +But if the selfish child is too old for the Kindergarten, he should +belong to a club. Consistent selfishness will not long be tolerated +here. The tacit or outspoken rebuke of his mates has many times the +force of a domestic rebuke; because thereby he sees himself, at least +for a time, as his comrades see him, and never thereafter entirely +loses his suspicion that they may be right. Their individual judgment +he may defy, but their collective judgment has in it an almost magical +power, and convinces him in spite of himself. + +[Sidenote: Cultivate Affections] + +Whatever strong affections the selfish boy shows most be carefully +cultivated. Love for another is the only sure cure for selfishness. If +he loves animals, let him have pets, and give into his hands the whole +responsibility for the care of them. It is better to let the poor +animals suffer some neglect, than to take away from the boy the +responsibility for their condition. They serve him only so far as +he can be induced to serve them. The chief rule for the cure of +selfishness is, then, to watch every affection, small and large, +encourage it, give it room to grow, and see to it that the child does +not merely get delight out of it, but that he works for it, that he +sacrifices himself for those whom he loves. + + + + +LAZINESS. + + +[Sidenote: The Physical Cause] + +This condition is often normal, especially during adolescence. The +developing boy or girl wants to lop and to lounge, to lie sprawled +over the floor or the sofa. Quick movement is distasteful to him, +and often has an undue effect upon the heart's action. He is normally +dreamy, languid, indifferent, and subject to various moods. These +things are merely tokens of the tremendous change that is going on +within his organism, and which heavily drains his vitality. Certain +duties may, of course, be required of him at this stage, but they +should be light and steady. He should not be expected to fill +up chinks and run errands with joyful alacrity. The six- or +eight-year-old may be called upon for these things, and not he harmed, +but this is not true of the child between twelve and seventeen. He +has absorbing business on hand and should not be too often called away +from it. + +[Sidenote: Laziness and Rapid Growth] + +Laziness ordinarily accompanies rapid growth of any kind. The +unusually large child, even if he has not yet reached the period of +adolescence, is likely to be lazy. His nervous energies are deflected +to keep up his growth, and his intelligence is often temporarily +dulled by the rapidity of his increase in size. + +[Sidenote: Hurry Not Natural] + +Moreover, it is not natural for any child to hurry. Hurry is in itself +both a result of nervous strain and a cause of it; and grown people +whose nerves have been permanently wrenched away from normal quietude +and steadiness, often form a habit of hurry which makes them both +unfriendly toward children and very bad for children. These young +creatures ought to go along through their days rather dreamily and +altogether serenely. Every turn of the screw to tighten their nerves +makes more certain some form of early nervous breakdown. They ought +to have work to do, of course,--enough of it to occupy both mind and +body--but it should be quiet, systematic, regular work, much of it +performed automatically. Only occasionally should they be required to +do things with a conscious effort to attain speed. + +[Sidenote: Abnormal Laziness] + +However, there is a degree of laziness difficult of definition which +is abnormal; the child fails to perform any work with regularity, and +falls behind both at school and at home. This may be the result of +(1) _poor assimilation_, (2) _of anaemia_, or it may be (3) _the first +symptom of some disease_. + +(1.) Poor assimilation may show itself either by (a) thinness and lack +of appetite; (b) fat and abnormal appetite; (c) retarded growth; or +(d) irregular and poorly made teeth and weak bones. + +[Sidenote: Anaemia] + +(2.) Anaemia betrays itself most characteristically by the color of +the lips and gums. These, instead of being red, are a pale yellowish +pink, and the whole complexion has a sort of waxy pallor. In extreme +cases this pallor even becomes greenish. As the disease is accompanied +with little pain, and few if any marked symptoms, beyond sleepiness +and weakness, it often exists for some time without being suspected by +the parents. + +(3.) The advent of many other diseases is announced by a languid +indifference to surroundings, and a slow response to the customary +stimuli. The child's brain seems clouded, and a light form of +torpor invades the whole body. The child, who is usually active and +interested in things about him, but who loses his activity and becomes +dull and irresponsive, should be carefully watched. It may be that he +is merely changing his form of growth--_i.e._, is beginning to grow +tall after completion of his period of laying on flesh, or vice versa. +Or he may be entering upon the period of adolescence. But if it is +neither of these things, a physician should be consulted. + +[Sidenote: Monotony] + +A milder degree of laziness may be induced by a too monotonous round +of duties. Try changing them. Make them as attractive as possible. +For, of course, you do not require him to perform these duties for +your sake, whatever you allow him to suppose about it, but chiefly +for the sake of their influence on his character. Therefore, if the +influence of any work is bad, you will change it, although the +new work may not be nearly so much what you prefer to have him do. +Whatever the work is, if it is only emptying waste-baskets, don't nag +him, merely expect him to do it, and expect it steadily. + +[Sidenote: Helping] + +In their earlier years all children love to help mother. They like any +piece of real work even better than play. If this love of activity was +properly encouraged, if the mother permitted the child to help, even +when he succeeded only in hindering, he might well become one +those fortunate persons who love to work. This is the real time for +preventing laziness. But if this early period has been missed, the +next best thing is to take advantage of every spontaneous interest as +it arises; to hitch the impulse, as it were, to some task that must +be steadily performed. For example, if the child wants to play with +tools, help him to make a small water-wheel, or any other interesting +contrivance, and keep him at it by various devices until he has +brought it to a fair degree of completion Your aim is to stretch his +will each time he attempts to do something a little further than +it tends to go of itself; to let him work a little past his first +impulse, so that he may learn by degrees to work when work is needed, +and not only when he feels like it. + + + + +UNTIDINESS + + +[Sidenote: Neatness Not Natural] + +Essentially a fault of immaturity as this is, we must beware how we +measure it by a too severe adult standard. It is not natural for any +young creature to take an interest in cleanliness. Even the young +animals are cared for in this respect by their parents; the cow licks +her calf; the cat, her kittens; and neither calf nor kittens seem to +take much interest in the process. The conscious love of cleanliness +and order grows with years, and seems to be largely a matter of +custom. The child who has always lived in decent surroundings +by-and-by finds them necessary to his comfort, and is willing to make +a degree of effort to secure them. On the contrary, the street boy who +sleeps in his clothes, does not know what it is to desire a well-made +bed, and an orderly room. + +[Sidenote: Remedies] + +[Sidenote: Example] + +[Sidenote: Habit] + +The obvious method of overcoming this difficulty, then, is not to +chide the child for the fault, but to make him so accustomed to +pleasant surroundings that he not help but desire them. The whole +process of making the child love order is slow but sure. It consists +in (1) _Patient waiting on nature_: first, keep the baby himself sweet +and clean, washing the young child yourself, two or three times a day, +and showing your delight in his sweetness; dressing him so simply +that he keeps in respectable order without the necessity of a painful +amount of attention. (2) _Example_: He is to be accustomed to orderly +surroundings, and though you ordinarily require him to put away some +of his things himself, you do also assist this process by putting away +a good deal to which you do not call attention. You make your home not +only orderly but pretty, and yourself, also, that his love for you +may lead him into a love for daintiness. (3) _Habits_: A few set +observances may be safely and steadfastly demanded, but these should +be _very_ few: Such as that he should not come to breakfast without +brushing his teeth and combing his hair, or sit down to any meal with +unwashed hands. Make them so few that you can be practically certain +that they are attended to, for the whole value of the discipline is +not in the superior condition of his teeth, but in the habit of mind +that is being formed. + + + + +IMPUDENCE. + + +Impudence is largely due to, (1) lack of perception: (2) to bad +example and to suggestion; and (3) to a double standard of morality. + +[Sidenote: Lack of Perception] + +(1.) In the first place, too much must not be expected of the young +savages in the nursery. Remember that the children there are in +a state very much more nearly resembling that of savage or +half-civilized nation than resembling your own, and that, therefore, +while they will undoubtedly take kindly to showy ceremonial, they are +not ripe yet for most of the delicate observances. At best, you can +only hope to get the crude material of good manners from them. You can +hope that they will be in the main kind in intention, and as courteous +under provocation as is consistent with their stage of development. If +you secure this, you need not trouble yourself unduly over occasional +lapses into perfectly innocent and wholesome barbarism. + +Good manners are in the main dependent upon quick sympathies, because +sympathies develop the perceptions. A child is much less likely to +hurt the feelings or shock the sensibilities of a person whom he loves +tenderly than of one for whom he cares very little. This is the chief +reason why all children are much more likely to be offensive in speech +and action before strangers than when alone in the bosom of their +families. They are so far from caring what a stranger thinks or +feels that they cannot even forecast his displeasure, nor imagine +its reaction upon mother or father. The more, then, that the child's +sympathies are broadened, the more he is encouraged to take an +interest in all people, even strangers, the better mannered will he +become. + +[Sidenote: Bad Example] + +(2.) Bad example is more common than is usually supposed. Very few +parents are consistently courteous toward their children. They permit +themselves a sharp tone of voice, and rough and abrupt habits of +speech, that would scarcely be tolerated by any adult. Even an +otherwise gentle and amiable woman is often disagreeable in her +manner toward her children, commanding them to do things in a way +well calculated to excite opposition, and rebuking wrong-doing in +unmeasured terms. She usually reserves her soft and gentle speeches +for her own friends and for her husband's, yet discourtesy cannot +begin to harm them as it harms her children. + +It is true that the children are often under foot when she is busiest, +when, indeed, she is so distracted as to not be able to think about +manners, but if she would acknowledge to herself that she ought to be +polite, and that when she fails to be, it is because she has yielded +to temptation; and if, moreover, she would make this acknowledgment +openly to her children and beg their pardon for her sharp words, as +she expects them to beg hers, the spirit of courtesy, at any rate, +would prevail in her house, and would influence her children. Children +are lovingly ready to forgive an acknowledged fault, but keen-eyed +beyond belief in detecting a hidden one. + +[Sidenote: Double Standard] + +(3.) The most fertile cause of impudence is assumption of a double +standard of morality, one for the child and another for the adult. +Impudence is, at bottom, the child's perception of this injustice, and +his rebellion against it. When to this double standard,--a standard +that measures up gossip, for instance, right for the adult and +listening to gossip as wrong for the child--when to this is added the +assumption of infallibility, it is no wonder that the child fairly +rages. + +For, if we come to analyze them, what are the speeches which find so +objectionable? "Do it yourself, if you are so smart." "Maybe, I am +rude, but I'm not any ruder than you are." "I think you are just as +mean as mean can be; I wouldn't be so mean!" Is this last speech any +worse in reality than "You are a very naughty little girl, and I am +ashamed of you," and all sorts of other expressions of candid adverse +opinion? Besides these forms of impudence, there is the peculiarly +irritating: "Well, you do it yourself; I guess I can if you can." + +In all these cases the child is partly it the right. He is stating +the feet as he sees it, and violently asserting that you are not +privileged to demand more of him than of yourself. The evil comes in +through the fact that he is doing it in an ugly spirit. He is not only +desirous of stating the truth, but of putting you in the wrong and +himself in the right, and if this hurts you, so much the better. All +this is because he is angry, and therefor, in impudence, the true evil +to be overcome is the evil of anger. + +[Sidenote: Example] + +Show him, then, that you are open to correction. Admit the justice +of the rebuke as far as you can, and set him an example of careful +courtesy and forbearance at the very moment when these traits are most +conspicuously lacking in him. If some special point is involved, +some question of privilege, quietly, but very firmly, defer the +consideration of it until he is master of himself and can discuss the +situation with an open mind and in a courteous manner. + + + + +CORPORAL PUNISHMENT. + + +In all these examples, which are merely suggestive, it is impossible +to lay down an absolute moral recipe, because circumstances so truly +alter cases--in all these no mention is made of corporal punishment. +This is because corporal punishment is never necessary, never right, +but is always harmful. + +[Sidenote: Moral Confusion] + +There are three principal reasons why it should not be resorted to: +_First_, because it is indiscriminate. To inflict bodily pain as a +consequence of widely various faults, leads to moral confusion. The +child who is spanked for lying, spanked for disobedience, and spanked +again for tearing his clothes, is likely enough to consider these +three things as much the same, as, at any rate, of equal importance, +because they all lead to the same result. This is to lay the +foundation for a permanent moral confusion, and a man who cannot see +the nature of a wrong deed, and its relative importance, is incapable +of guiding himself or others. Corporal punishment teaches a child +nothing of the reason why what he does is wrong. Wrong must seem to +him to be dependent upon the will of another, and its disagreeable +consequences to be escapable if only he can evade the will of that +other. + +[Sidenote: Fear versus Love] + +_Second_: Corporal punishment is wrong because it inculcates fear of +pain as the motive for conduct, instead of love of righteousness. It +tends directly to cultivate cowardice, deceitfulness, and anger--three +faults worse than almost any fault against which it can be employed. +True, some persons grow up both gentle and straightforward in spite +of the fact that they have been whipped in their youth, but it is in +spite of, and not because of it. In their homes other good qualities +must have counteracted the pernicious effect of this mistaken +procedure. + +[Sidenote: Sensibilities Blunted] + +_Third_: Corporal punishment may, indeed, achieve immediate results +such as seem at the moment to be eminently desirable. The child, if he +be young enough, weak enough, and helpless enough, may be made to do +almost anything by fear of the rod; and some of the things he may thus +be made to do may be exactly the things that he ought to do; and this +certainty of result is exactly what prompts many otherwise just and +thoughtful persons to the use of corporal punishment. But these good +results are obtained at the expense of the future. The effect of each +spanking is a little less than the effect of the preceding one. The +child's sensibilities blunt. As in the case of a man with the drug +habit, it requires a larger and larger dose to produce the required +effect. That is, if he is a strong child capable of enduring and +resisting much. If, on the contrary, he is a weak child, whose slow +budding will come only timidly into existence, one or two whippings +followed by threats, may suffice to keep him in a permanently cowed +condition, incapable of initiative, incapable of spontaneity. + +The method of discipline here indicated, while it is more searching +than any corporal punishment, does not have any of its disadvantages. +It is more searching, because it never blunts the child's +sensibilities, but rather tends to refine them, and to make them more +responsive. + +[Sidenote: Educative Discipline] + +[Sidenote: Permanent Results] + +The child thus trained should become more susceptible, day by day, +to gentle and elevating influences. This discipline is educative, +explaining to the child why what he does is wrong, showing him the +painful effects as inherent in the deed itself. He cannot, therefore, +conceive of himself as being ever set free from the obligation to do +right; for that obligation within his experience does not rest upon +his mother's will or ability to inflict punishment, but upon the very +nature of the universe of which he is a part. The effects of such +discipline are therefore permanent. That which happens to the child +in the nursery, also happens to him in the great world when he reaches +manhood. His nursery training interprets and orders the world for him. +He comes, therefore, into the world not desiring to experiment with +evil, but clear-eyed to detect it, and strong-armed to overcome it. + +We are now ready to consider our subject in some of its larger +aspects. + + + + +TEST QUESTIONS + + +The following questions constitute the "written recitation" which the +regular members of the A.S.H.E. answer in writing and send in for +the correction and comment of the instructor. They are intended to +emphasize and fix in the memory the most important points in the +lesson. + +[Illustration: "CARITAS" + +From a Painting in the Boston Public Library, by Abbot H. Thayer] + + + + +STUDY OF CHILD LIFE. + + +PART I. + +Read Carefully. In answering these questions you are earnestly +requested _not_ to answer according to the text-book where opinions +are asked for, but to answer according to conviction. In all cases +credit will be given for thought and original observation. Place your +name and full address at the head of the paper; use your own words so +that your instructor may be sure that you understand the subject. + + + +1. How does Fiske account for the prolonged helplessness of the human +infant? To what practical conclusions does this lead? + +2. Name the four essentials for proper bodily growth. + +3. How does the child's world differ from that of the adult? + +4. In training a child morally, how do you know which faults are the +most important and should have, therefore, the chief attention? + +5. In training the will, what end must be held steadily in view? + +6. What are the advantages or disadvantages of a broken will? + +7. Is obedience important? Obedience to what? How do you train for +prompt obedience in emergencies? + +8. What is the object of punishment? Does corporal punishment +accomplish this object? + +9. What kind of punishment is most effective? + +10. Have any faults a physical origin? If so, name some of them and +explain. + +11. What are the two great teachers according to Tiederman? + +12. What can you say of the fault of untidiness? + +13. What are the dangers of precocity? + +14. What do you consider were the errors your own parents made in +training their children? + +15. Are there any questions which you would like to ask in regard to +the subjects taken up in this lesson? + + +NOTE.--After completing the test, sign your full name. + + + + +STUDY OF CHILD LIFE + + + +PART II. + + + +CHARACTER BUILDING + + +[Sidenote: Froebel's Philosophy] + +Although we have taken up the question of punishment and the manner +of dealing with various childish iniquities before the question of +character-building, it has only been done in order to clear the mind +of some current misconceptions. In the statements of Froebel's simple +and positive philosophy of child culture, misconception on the part of +the reader must be guarded against, and these misconceptions generally +arise from a feeling that, beautiful as his optimistic philosophy may +be, there are some children too bad to profit by it--or at least that +there are occasions when it will not work out in practice. In the +preceding section we have endeavored to show in detail how this method +applies to a representative list of faults and shortcomings, and +having thus, we hope, proved that the method is applicable to a wide +range of cases--indeed to all possible cases--we will proceed to +recount the fundamental principles which Froebel, and before him +Pestalozzi,[A] enunciated; which times who adhere to the new education +are to-day working out into the detail of school-room practice. + +[Sidenote: Object of Moral Training.] + +As previously stated, the object of the moral training of the child is +the inculcation of the love of righteousness. Froebel is not concerned +with laying down a mass of observances which the child must follow, +and which the parents must insist upon. He thinks rather that the +child's nature once turned into the right direction and surrounded +by right influences will grow straight without constant yankings +and twistings. The child who loves to do right is safe. He may make +mistakes as to what the right is, but he will learn by these mistakes, +and will never go far astray. + +[Sidenote: The Reason Why] + +However, it is well to save him as far as possible from the pain +of these mistakes. We need to preserve in him what has already been +implanted there; the love of understanding the reasons for conduct. +When the child asks "Why?" therefore, he should seldom be told +"Because mother says so." This is to deny a rightful activity of +his young mind; to give him a monotonous and insufficient reason, +temporary in its nature, instead of a lasting reason which will remain +with him through life. Dante says all those who have lost what he +calls "the good of the intellect" are in the Inferno. And when you +refuse to give your child satisfactory reasons for the conduct you +require of him, you refuse to cultivate in him that very good of the +intellect which is necessary for his salvation. + +[Sidenote: Advantage of Positive Commands] + +As soon, however, as your commands become positive instead of +negative, the difficulty of meeting the situation begins to disappear. +It is usually much easier to tell the child why he should do a thing +than why he should not do its opposite. For example, it is much easier +to make him see that he ought to be a helpful member of the family +than to make him understand why he should stop making a loud noise, or +refrain from waking up the baby. There is something in the child which +in calm moments recognizes that love demands some sacrifice. To this +something you must appeal and these calm moments, for the most part, +you must choose for making the appeal. The effort is to prevent the +appearance of evil by the active presence of good. The child who is +busy trying to be good has little time to be naughty. + +[Sidenote: Original Goodness] + +Froebel's most characteristic utterance is perhaps this: "A +suppressed or perverted good quality--a good tendency, only repressed, +misunderstood, or misguided--lies originally at the bottom of +every shortcoming in man. Hence the only and infallible remedy for +counteracting any shortcoming and even wickedness is to find the +originally good source, the originally good side of the human being +that has been repressed, disturbed, or misled into the shortcoming, +and then to foster, build up, and properly guide this good side. Thus +the shortcoming will at last disappear, although it may involve a hard +struggle against habit, but not against original depravity in man, and +this is accomplished so much the more rapidly and surely because man +himself tends to abandon his shortcomings, for man prefers right to +wrong." The natural deduction from this is that we should say "do" +rather than "don't"; open up the natural way for rightful activity +instead of uttering loud warning cries at the entrance to every wrong +path. + +[Sidenote: Kindergarten Methods] + +It is for this reason that the kindergarten tries by every means to +make right doing delightful. This is one of the reasons for its songs, +dances, plays, its bright colors, birds, and flowers. And in this +respect it may well be imitated in every home. No one loves that which +is disagreeable, ugly, and forbidding; yet many little children are +expected to love right doing which is seldom attractively presented to +them. + +The results of such treatment are apparent in the grown people of +to-day. Most persons have an underlying conviction that sinners, or +at any rate unconscientious persons, have a much easier and pleasanter +time of it than those who try to do right. To the imagination of the +majority of adults sin is dressed in glittering colors and virtue in +gray, somber garments. There are few who do not take credit for right +doing as if they had chosen a hard and disagreeable part instead +of the more alluring ways of wrong. This is because they have been +mis-taught in childhood and have come to think of wrongdoing as +pleasant and virtue as hard, whereas the real truth is exactly the +opposite. It is wrongdoing that brings unpleasant consequences and +virtue that brings happiness. + +[Sidenote: Right Doing Made Easy] + +There are those who object that by the kindergarten method right doing +is made too easy. The children do not have to put forth enough effort, +they say; they are not called upon to endure sufficient pain; they do +not have the discipline which causes them to choose right no matter +how painful right may be for the moment. Whether this dictum is ever +true or not, it certainly is not true in early childhood. The love of +righteousness needs to be firmly rooted in the character before it is +strained and pulled upon. We do not start seedlings in the rocky soil +or plant out saplings in time of frost. If tests and trials of virtue +must come, let them come in later life when the love of virtue is so +firmly established that it may be trusted to find a way to its own +satisfaction through whatever difficulties may oppose. + +[Sidenote: Neighbors' Opinions] + +In the very beginning of any effort to live up to Froebel's +requirements it is evident that children must not be measured by the +way they appear to the neighbors. This is to reaffirm the power of +that rigid tradition which has warped so many young lives. She who +is trying to fix her child's heart upon true and holy things may well +disregard her neighbor's comments on the child's manners or clothes +or even upon momentary ebullitions of temper. She is working below the +surface of things, is setting eternal forces to work, and she cannot +afford to interrupt this work for the sake of shining the child up +with any premature outside polish. If she is to have any peace of mind +or to allow any to the child, if she is to live in any way a simple +and serene life, she must establish a few fundamental principles by +which she judges her child's conduct and regulates her own, and stand +by these principles through thick and thin. + +[Sidenote: The Family Republic] + +Perhaps the most fundamental principle is that enunciated by Fichte. +"Each man," he says, "is a free being in a world of other free +beings." Therefore his freedom is limited only by the freedom of the +other free beings. That is, they must "divide the world amongst them." +Stated in the form of a command he says again, "Restrict your freedom +through the freedom of all other persons with whom you come in +contact." This is a rule that even a three-year-old child can be made +to understand, and it is astonishing with what readiness he will admit +its justice. He call do anything he wants to, you explain to him, +except bother other people. And, of course, the corollary follows that +every one else can do whatever he pleases except to bother the child. + +[Sidenote: Rights of Others] + +This clear and simple doctrine can be driven home with amazing force, +if you strictly respect the child's right as you require him to +respect yours. You should neither allow any encroachments upon your +own proper privileges, except so far as you explain that this is only +a loving permission on your part, and not to be assumed as a precedent +or to be demanded as a right; nor should you yourself encroach upon +his privileges. + +If you do not expect him to interrupt you, you must not interrupt him. +If you expect him to let you alone when you are busy, you must let +hint alone when he is busy, that is, when he is hard at work playing. +If you must call him away from his playing, give him warning, so that +he may have time to put his small affairs in order before obeying your +command. The more carefully you do this the more willing will be his +response on the infrequent occasions when you must demand immediate +attention. In some such fashion you teach the child to respect the +rights of others by scrupulously respecting those rights to which he +is most alive, namely, his own. The next step is to require him with +you to think out the rights of others, and both of you together should +shape your conduct so as to leave these rights unfringed. + +[Sidenote: The Child's Share in Ruling] + +As soon as the young child's will has fully taken possession of his +own organism he will inevitably try to rule yours. The establishment +of the law of which I have just spoken will go far toward regulating +this new-born desire. But still he must be allowed in some degree to +rule others, because power to rule others is likely to be at some time +during his life of great importance to him. To thwart him absolutely +in this respect, never yielding yourself to his imperious demands, +is alike impossible and undesirable. His will must not be shut up +to himself and to the things that he can make himself do. In various +ways, with due consideration for other people's feelings, with +courtesy, with modesty, he may well be encouraged to do his share of +ruling. And while, of course, he will not begin his ruling in such +restrained and thoughtful fashion as is implied by these limitations, +yet he must be suffered to begin; and the rule for the respect of +the rights of others should be suffered gradually to work out these +modifications. + +A safe distinction may be made as follows: Permit him, since he is +so helpless, to rule and persuade others to satisfy his legitimate +desires, such as the desire for food, sleep, affection, and knowledge; +but when be demands indulgencies, reserve your own liberty of choice, +so as to clearly demonstrate to him that you are exercising choice, +and in doing so, are well within your own rights. + +[Sidenote: Low Voice Commands] + +There is one simple outward observation which greatly assists us the +inculcation of these fundamental truths--that is the habit of using +a low voice in speaking, especially when issuing a command or +administering a rebuke. A loud, insistent voice practically insures +rebellion. This is because the low voice means that you have command +of yourself, the loud voice that you have lost it. The child submits +to a controlled will, but not to one as uncontrolled as his own. In +both cases he follows your example. If you are self-controlled, he +tends to become so; if you are excited and angry, he also becomes so, +or if he is already so, his excitement and anger increases. + +While most mothers rely altogether too much upon speech as a means of +explaining life to the child, yet it must be admitted that speech has +a great function to perform in this regard. Nevertheless it is well to +bear in mind that it is not true that a child will always do what +you tell him to do, no matter how plain you may tell him, nor how +perfectly you may explain your reasons. + +[Sidenote: Limitations of Words] + +In the first place, speech means less to children than to grown +persons. Each word has a smaller content of experience. They cannot +get the full force of the most clear and eloquent statement. Therefore +all speech must be reinforced by example, and by as many forms of +concrete illustrations as can be commanded. Each necessary truth +should enter the child's mind by several channels; hearing, eye-sight, +motor activity should all be called upon. Many truths may be +dramatized. This, where the mother is clever enough to employ it, is +the surest method of appeal. But in any case, speech alone must not +be relied upon, nor the child considered a hopeless case who does not +respond to it. + +Denunciatory speech especially needs wise regulation. As Richter says, +"What is to be followed as a rule of prudence, yea, of justice, toward +grown-up people, should be much more observed toward children, namely, +that one should never judgingly declare, for instance, 'You are a +liar,' or even, 'You are a bad boy,' instead of saying, 'You have told +an untruth,' or 'You have done wrong.' For since the power to command +yourself implies at the same time the power of obeying, man feels a +minute after his fault as free as Socrates, and the branding mark +of his _nature_, not his _deed_, must seem to him blameworthy of +punishment. + +"To this must be added that every individual's wrong actions, owing to +his inalienable sense of a moral aim and hope, seem to him only short, +usurped interregnums of the devil, or comets in the uniform solar +system. The child, consequently, under such a moral annihilation, +feels the wrong-doing of others more than his own; and this all the +more because, in him, want of reflection and the general warmth of his +feelings, represent the injustice of others in a more ugly light than +his own." + +[Sidenote: Example versus Precept] + +If any one desires to prove the superior force of example over +precept, let him try teaching a baby to say "Thank you" or "Please," +merely by being scrupulously careful to say these things to the baby +on all fit occasions. No one has taken the statistics of the number +of times every small child is exhorted to perfect himself in this +particular observance; but it is safe to say that in the United States +alone these injunctions are spoken something like a million times +a day and all quite unnecessarily. The child will say "Please" +and "Thank you" without being told to do so, if he merely has his +attention called to the fact that the people around him all use these +phrases. + +[Sidenote: Politeness to Children] + +The truth is, too many parents forget to speak these agreeable words +whenever they ask favors of their own children; so the force of their +example is marred. What you do to the child himself, remember, always +outweighs anything you do to others before him. This is the reason why +it is necessary that you should acknowledge your own shortcomings to +the child, if you expect him to acknowledge his to you. It is also +necessary sometimes to point out clearly the kind and considerate +things that you are in the habit of doing to others, lest the +untrained mind of the young child may fail to see and so miss the +force of your example. + +But in thus revealing your own good deeds to the child, remember +the motive, and reveal them only (a) when he cannot perceive them +of himself, (b) when he needs to perceive them in order that his own +conduct may be influenced by them, and (c) at the time when he is most +likely to appreciate them. This latter requirement precludes you from +announcing your own righteousness when he is naughty, and compels you, +of course, to go directly against your native impulse, which is to +mention your deeds of sacrifice and kindness only when you are angry +and mean to reproach him with them. When you tell him how devoted you +have been at some moment when you are both thoroughly angry, he is in +danger of either denying or hating your devotion; but when you refer +to it tenderly, and, as your heart will then prompt you, modestly, at +some loving moment, he will give it recognition, and be moved to love +goodness more devotedly because you embody it. + +[Sidenote: Law-Making Habit] + +Another important rule is this: Do not make too many rules. Some women +are like legislatures in perpetual session. The child who is confused +and tantalized by the constant succession of new laws learns presently +to disregard them, and to regulate his life according to certain +deductions of his own--sometimes surprisingly wise and politic +deductions. The way to re yourself of this law-making habit is to stop +thinking of every little misdeed as the beginning of a great wrong. It +is very likely an accident and a combination of circumstances such as +may not happen again. To treat misdemeanors which are not habitual nor +characteristic as evanescent is the best way to make them evanescent. +They should not be allowed to enter too deeply into your consciousness +or into that of your child. + +[Sidenote: Live with Your Children] + +In order to be able to discriminate between accidental wrong-doing, +and that which is the first symptom of wrong-thinking, you must be +in close touch with your children. This brings us to Froebel's great +motto, "Come, let us live with our children!" This means that you are +not merely to talk with your child, to hear from his lips what he is +doing, but to live so closely with him, that in most cases you know +what he is doing without any need of his telling you. When, however, +he does tell you something which happened in the school play-ground +or otherwise out of the range of your knowledge, be careful not to +moralize over it. Make yourself as agreeable a secret-keeper as his +best friend of his own age; let your moralizing be so rare that it is +effective for that very reason. If the occasion needs moral reflection +at all--and that seldom happens--the wise way is to lead the child to +do his own reflecting; to arrive at his own conclusions, and if you +must lead him, by all means do so as invisibly as possible. For the +most part it is safe to take the confessions lightly, and well to keep +your own mind young by looking at things from the boy's point of view. + +[Sidenote: The Subject of Sex] + +If, however, there is to be perfect confidence between you, the +one subject which is usually kept out of speech between mothers and +children must be no forbidden subject between them; you must not +refuse to answer questions about the mystery of sex. If you are not +the fit person to teach your child these important facts, who is? +Certainly not the school-mates and servants from whom he is likely +to learn them if you refuse to furnish the information. Usually it is +sufficient simply to answer the child's honest questions honestly; but +any mother who finds herself unable to cope with this simple matter +in this simple spirit, will find help in Margaret Morley's "Song +of Life," in the Wood-Allen Publications, and the books of the Rev. +Sylvanus Stall.[B] + +In respect to these matters more than in respect to others, but also +in respect to all matters, children often do not know that they are +doing wrong, even when it it very difficult for parents to believe +that they do not intend wrong-doing. As we have seen from our analysis +of truthfulness, the child may very often lie without a qualm of +conscience, and he may still more readily break the unwritten rules +of courtesy, asking abrupt and even cruel questions of strangers, and +haul the family skeleton out of its closet at critical moments. Such +things cannot be wholly guarded against, even by the exercise of the +utmost wisdom, but the habit of reasoning things out for himself is +the greatest help a child can have. + +[Sidenote: Righteousness] + +The formation of the bent of the child's nature as a whole is a matter +of unconscious education, but as he grows in the power to reason, +conscious education must direct his mental activity. It is not enough +for him, as it is not enough for any grown person, to do the best +that he knows; he must learn to know the best. The word righteousness +itself means right-wiseness, i.e., right knowingness. + +To quote Froebel again, "In order, therefore, to impart true, genuine +firmness to the natural will-activity of the boy, all the activities +of the boy, his entire will should proceed from and have reference +to the development, cultivation, and representation of the internal. +Instruction in example and in words, which later on become precept +and example, furnishes the means for this. Neither example alone, nor +words will do; not example alone, for it is particular and special, +and the word is needed to give the particular individual example +universal applicability; not words alone, for example is needed to +interpret and explain the word, which is general, spiritual, and of +many meanings. + +"But instruction and example alone and in themselves are not +sufficient; they must meet a good pure heart and this is the outcome +of proper educational influences in childhood." + +[Sidenote: Moral Precocity] + +Lest these directions should seem to demand an almost superhuman +degree of control and wisdom on the part of the mother, remember that +moral precocity is as much to be guarded against a mental precocity. +Remember that you are neither required to be a perfect mother nor +to rear a perfect child. As Spencer remarks, a perfect child in this +imperfect world would be sadly out of joint with the times, would +indeed be a martyr. If your basic principles are right and if your +child has before him the daily and hourly spectacle of a mother who is +trying to conform herself to high standards, he will grow as fast as +it is safe for him to grow. Spencer says: "Our higher moral faculties +like our higher intellectual ones, are comparatively complex. As a +consequence they are both comparatively late in their evolution, and +with the one as with the other, a very early activity produced by +stimulation will be at the expense of the future character. Hence the +not uncommon fact that those who during childhood were instanced as +models of juvenile goodness, by and by undergo some disastrous and +seemingly inexplicable change, and end by being not above but below +par; while relatively exemplary men are often the issue of a childhood +not so promising. + +"Be content, therefore, with moderate measures and moderate results, +constantly bearing in mind the fact that the higher morality, like the +higher intelligence, must be reached by a slow growth; and you will +then have more patience with those imperfections of nature which your +child hourly displays. You will be less prone to constant scolding, +and threatening, and forbidding, by which many parents induce a +chronic irritation, in a foolish hope that they will thus make their +children what they should be." + +[Sidenote: Rules in Character Building] + +In conclusion, the rules that may be safely followed in +character-building may be summed up thus: + +(1) Recognize that the object of your training is to help the child to +love righteousness. Command little and then use positive commands +rather than prohibitions. Use "do" rather than "don't." + +(2) Make right-doing delightful. + +(3) Establish Fichte's doctrine of right, see page 64. + +(4) Teach by example rather than precept. Therefore respect the +child's rights as you wish him to respect yours. + +(5) Use a low voice, especially in commanding or rebuking. + +(6) In chiding, remember Richter's rule and rebuke the sin and not the +sinner. + +(7) Confess your own misdeeds, by this means and others securing the +confidence of your children. + +Finally, remember that this is an imperfect world, you are an +imperfect mother, and the best results you can hope for are likely +to be imperfect. But the results may be so founded upon eternal +principles as to tend continually to give place to better and better +results. + + +[Footnote A: Pestalozzi, Educator, Philosopher, and Reformer. Author +of "How Gertrude Teaches Her Children."] + +[Footnote B: "What a Young Girl Ought to Know" and "What a Young Woman +Ought to Know" by Dr. Mary Wood Allen. "What a Young Boy Ought to +Know," "What a Young Man Ought to Know," by Rev. Sylvanus Stall.] + + + + +PLAY + + +Although Froebel is best known as the educator who first took +advantage of play as a means of education, he was not, in reality, the +first to recognize the high value of this spontaneous activity. He was +indeed the first to put this recognition into practice and to use the +force generated during play to help the child to a higher state of +knowledge. + +But before him Plato said that the plays of children have the +mightiest influence on the maintenance or the non-maintenance of laws; +that during the first three years the child should be made "cheerful" +and "kind" by having sorrow and fear and pain kept away from him and +by soothing him with music and rhythmic movements. + +[Sidenote: Aristotle] + +Aristotle held that children until they were five years old "should be +taught nothing, not even necessary labor, lest it hinder growth, but +should be accustomed to use much motion as to avoid a indolent habit +of body, and this," he added, "can he acquired by various means, among +others by play, which ought to be neither illiberal, nor laborious, or +lazy." + +[Sidenote: Luther] + +Luther rebukes those who despise the plays of children and says +that Solomon did not prohibit scholars from play at the proper time. +Fenelon, Locke, Schiller, and Richter all admit the deep significance +of this universal instinct of youth. + +Preyer, speaking not as a philosopher or educator, but as a scientist, +mentions "the new kinds of pleasurable sensations with some admixture +of intellectual elements," which are gained when the child +gradually begins to play. Much that is called play he considers true +experimenting, especially when the child is seen to be studying the +changes produced by his own activity, as when he tears paper into +small bits, shakes a bunch of keys, opens and shuts a box, plays with +sand, and empties bottles, and throws stones into the water. "The +zeal with which these seemingly aimless movements are executed is +remarkable. The sense of gratification must be very great, and is +principally due to the feeling of his own power, and of being the +cause of the various changes." + +[Sidenote: Educational Value of Play] + +All these authorities are quoted here in order to show that the +practical recognition of play which obtains among the advanced +educators to-day is not a piece of sentimentalism, as stern critics +sometimes declare, but the united opinion of some of the wisest minds +of this and former ages. As Froebel says, "Play and speech constitute +the element in which the child lives. At this stage (the first three +years of childhood) he imparts to everything the virtues of sight, +feeling, and speech. He feels the unity between himself and the whole +external world." And Froebel conceives it to be of the profoundest +importance that this sense of unity should not be disturbed. He finds +that play is the most spiritual activity of man at this age, "and at +the same time typical of human life as a whole--of the inner, hidden, +natural life of man and all things; it gives, therefore, joy, freedom, +contentment, inner and outer rest, peace with the world: it holds the +sources of all that is good. The child that plays thoroughly until +physical fatigue forbids will surely be a thorough, determined man, +capable of self-sacrifice for the promotion and welfare of himself and +others." + +But all play does not deserve this high praise. It fits only the play +under right conditions. Fortunately these are such that every mother +can command them. There are three essentials: (1) Freedom, (2) +Sympathy, (3) Right materials. + +[Sidenote: Freedom] + +(1) Freedom is the first essential, and here the child of poverty +often has the advantage of the child of wealth. There are few things +in the poverty-stricken home too good for him to play with; in +its narrow quarters, he becomes, perforce, a part of all domestic +activity. He learns the uses of household utensils, and his play +merges by imperceptible degrees into true, healthful work. + +In the home of wealth, however, there is no such freedom, no such +richness of opportunity. The child of wealth has plenty of toys, but +few real things to play with. He is shut out of the common activity of +the family, and shut in to the imitation activity of his nursery. He +never gets his small hands on realities, but in his elegant clothes is +confined to the narrow conventional round that is falsely supposed to +be good for him. + +Froebel insists upon the importance of the child's dress being +loose, serviceable, and inconspicuous, so that he may play as much +as possible without consciousness of the restrictions of dress. +The playing child should also have, as we have noticed in the first +section, the freedom of the outside world. This does not mean merely +that he should go out in his baby-buggy, or take a ride in the park, +but that he should be able to play out-of-doors, to creep on the +ground, to be a little open-air savage, and play with nature as he +finds it. + +[Sidenote: Sympathy] + +(2) Sympathy is much more likely to rise spontaneously in the mother's +breast for the child's troubles than for the child's joys. She will +stop to take him up and pet him when he is hurt, no matter how busy +she is, but she too often considers it waste of time to enter into his +plays with him; yet he needs sympathy in joy as much as in sorrow. Her +presence, her interest in what he is doing, doubles his delight in it +and doubles its value to him. Moreover, it offers her opportunity for +that touch and direction now and then, which may transform a rambling +play, without much sequence or meaning, into a consciously useful +performance, a dramatization, perhaps, of some of the child's +observations, or an investigation into the nature of things. + +(3) Right Material. Even given freedom and sympathy, the child needs +something more in order to play well: he needs the right materials. +The best materials are those that are common to him and to the rest of +the world, far better than expensive toys that mark him apart from +the world of less fortunate children. Such toys are not in any way +desirable, and they may even be harmful. What he needs are various +simple arrangements of the four elements--earth, air, fire and water. + +[Sidenote: Mud-pies] + +(1) _Earth_. The child has a noted affinity for it, and he is +specially happy when he has plenty of it on hands, face, and clothes. +The love of mud-pies is universal; children of all nationalities and +of all degrees of civilization delight in it. No activity could be +more wholesome. + +[Sidenote: Sand] + +Next to mud comes sand. It is cleaner in appearance and can be brought +into the house. A tray of moistened sand, set upon a low table, should +be in every nursery, and the sand pile in every yard. + +[Sidenote: Clay] + +Clay is more difficult to manage indoors, because it gets dry and +sifts all about the house, but if a corner of the cellar, where there +is a good light, can be given up for a strong table and a jar of clay +mixed with some water, it will be found a great resource for rainy +days. If modeling aprons of strong material, buttoned with one button +at the neck, be hung near the jar of clay, the children may work in +this material without spoiling their clothes. Clay-modeling is an +excellent form of manual training, developing without forcing +the delicate muscles of the fingers and wrists, and giving wide +opportunity for the exercise of the imagination. + +[Sidenote: Digging] + +Earth may be played with in still another way. Children should dig in +it; for all pass through the digging stage and this should be given +free swing. It develops their muscles and keeps them busy at helpful +and constructive work. They may dig a well, make a cave, or a pond, or +burrow underground and make tunnels like a mole. Give them spades +and a piece of ground they can do with as they like, dress them in +overalls, and it will be long before you are asked to think of another +amusement for them. + +[Illustration: Pattern of a modelling apron] + +[Sidenote: Gardens] + +In still another way the earth may be utilized, for children may +make gardens of it. Indeed, there are those who say that no child's +education is complete until he has had a garden of his own and grown +in it all sorts of seeds from pansies to potatoes. But a garden is +too much for a young child to care for all alone. He needs the help, +advice, and companionship of some older person. You must be careful, +however, to give help only when it is really desired; and careful also +not to let him feel that the garden is a task to which he is driven +daily, but a joy that draws him. + +[Sidenote: Kites Windmills Soap-bubbles] + +(2) _The Air_. The next important plaything is the air. The kite and +the balloon are only two instruments to help the child play with it. +Little windmills made of colored paper and stuck by means of a pin +at the end of a whittled stick, make satisfactory toys. One of their +great advantages is that even a very young child can make them for +himself. Blowing soap-bubbles is another means of playing with air. +By giving the children woolen mittens the bubbles may be caught and +tossed about as well as blown. + +(3) _Water_. Perhaps the very first thing he learns to play with is +water. Almost before he knows the use of his hands and legs he plays +with water in his bath, and sucks his sponge with joy, thus feeling +the water with his chief organs of touch, his mouth and tongue. A few +months later he will be glad to pour water out of a tin cup. Even +when he is two or three years old, be may be amused by the hour, +by dressing him in a woolen gown, with his sleeves rolled high, and +setting him down before a big bowl or his own bath-tub half full of +warm water. To this may be added a sponge, a tin cup, a few bits of +wood, and some paper. They should not be given all at once, but one at +a time, the child allowed to exhaust the possibilities of each before +another is added. Still later he may be given the bits of soap left +after a cake of soap is used up. Give him also a few empty bottles or +bowls and let him put them away with a solid mass of soap-suds in them +and see what will happen. When he is older--past the period of putting +everything in his mouth--he may be given a few bits of bright ribbons, +petals of artificial flowers, or any bright colored bits of cloth +which can color the water. + +Children love to sprinkle the grass with the hose or to water the +flowers with the sprinkling can. They enjoy also the metal fishes, +ducks, and boats which may be drawn about in the water by means of a +magnet. Presently they reach the stage when they must have toy-boats, +and next they long to go into real boats and go rowing and sailing. +They want to fish, wade, swim, and skate. + +[Sidenote: Dangerous Pastimes] + +Some of those pastimes are dangerous, but they are sure to be indulged +in at some time or other, with or without permission. There never grew +a child to sturdy manhood who was successfully kept away from water. +The wise mother, then, will not forbid this play, but will do her +best to regulate it, to make it safe. She will think out plans for +permitting children to go swimming in a safe place with some older +person. She will let them go wading, and at holiday time will take +them boat-riding. If she permits as much activity in these respects +as possible, her refusal when it does come will be respected; and +the child will not, unless perhaps in the first bitterness of +disappointment, think her unfriendly and fussy. Above all, he is not +likely to try to deceive her, to run off and take a swim on the sly, +and thus fall into true danger. + +[Sidenote: Precaution with Fire] + +(4) _Fire_ is another inevitable plaything. Miss Shinn reports that +the first act of her little niece that showed the dawn of voluntary +control of the muscles was the clinging of her eyes to the flame of +a candle, at the end of the second week. The sense of light and +the pleasure derived from it is of the chief incentives to a baby's +intellectual development. But since fire is dangerous the child must +be taught this fact as quickly and painlessly as possible. He will +probably have to be burned once before he really understands it, +but by watching you can make this pain very small and slight, +barely sufficient to give the child a wholesome fear of playing with +unguarded fire. For instance, show that the lamp globe is hot. It is +not hot enough to injure him, but quite hot enough to be unpleasant to +his sensitive nerves. Put your own hand on the lamp and draw it away +with a sharp cry, saying warningly, "Hot, hot!" Do not put his hand +on the lamp, but let him put it there himself and then be very +sympathetic over the result. Usually one such lesson is sufficient. +Only do not permit yourself to call everything hot which you do not +want him to touch. He will soon discover that you are untruthful and +will never again trust you so fully. + +[Sidenote: Bonfires] + +Under _proper regulations_, however, fire may be played with safely. +Bonfires with some older person in attendance are safe enough and +prevent unlawful bonfires in dangerous places. The rule should be that +none of the children may play with fire except with permission; and +then that permission should be granted as often as possible that the +children may be encouraged to ask for it. A stick smouldering at one +end and waved about in circles and ellipses is not dangerous when +elders are by, but it is dangerous if played with on the sly. Playing +with fire on the sly is the most dangerous thing a child can do, and +the only way to prevent it is to permit him to play with fire in +the open. A beautiful game can be made from number of Christmas tree +candles of various colors and a bowl of water. The candles are lighted +and the wax dropped into the water, making little colored circles +which float about. These can be linked together such a fashion as to +form patterns which may be lifted out on sheets of paper. + +[Sidenote: Magic Lantern] + +The magic lantern is an innocent and comparatively cheap means of +playing with light. If it is well taken care of and fresh slides +added from time to time it can be made a source of pleasure for years. +Jack-o'-lanterns are great fun, and when pumpkins are not available, +oranges may be used instead. + +[Sidenote: Rhythmic Movements] + +Besides these elemental playthings the child gets much valuable +pleasure out of the rhythmic use of his own muscles. All such plays +Plato thought should be regulated by music, and with this Froebel +agreed, but in the Household this is often impossible. The children +must indulge in many movements when there is no one about who +has leisure to make music for them. Still, when they come to the +quarrelsome age, a few minutes' rhythmic play to the sound of music +will be found to harmonize the whole group wonderfully. For this +purpose the ordinary hippity-hop, fast or slow according to the music, +is sufficient. It is as if the regulation of the body to the laws +of harmony reacted upon minds and nerves. Such an exercise is +particularly valuable just before bed-time. The children go to sleep +then with their minds under the influence of harmony and wake in the +morning inclined to be peaceful and happy. + +[Sidenote: Songs] + +A book of Kindergarten songs, such as Mrs. Gaynor's "Songs of the +Child World" and Eleanor Smith's "Songs for the Children," ought to be +in every household, and the mother ought to familiarize herself with a +dozen or so of these perfectly simple melodies. Of course the children +must learn them with her. When once this has been done she has a +valuable means of amusing them and bringing them within her control at +any time. She may hum one of the songs or play it. The children must +guess what it is and then act out their guess in pantomime, so that +she can see what they mean. Perhaps it is a windmill song; their +arms fly around and around in time to the music, now fast, now slow. +Perhaps it is a Spring song; the children are birds building their +nests. Other songs turn them into shoemakers, galloping horses, or +soldiers. + +[Sidenote: Dramatic Plays] + +Dramatic plays, whether simple, like this, or elaborate, are, +as Goethe shows in _Wilhelm Meister_, of the greatest possible +educational advantage. In them the child expresses his ideas of the +world about him and becomes master of his own ideas. He acts out +whatever he has heard or seen. He acts out also whatever he is +puzzling about, and by making the terms of his problem clear to his +consciousness usually solves it. + +[Sidenote: Dancing] + +As for dancing, Richter exclaims: "I know not whether I should most +deprecate children's balls or most praise children's dances. For the +harmony connected with it (dancing) imparts to the affections and the +mind that material order which reveals the highest, and regulates the +beat of the pulse, the step, and even the thought. Music is the meter +of this poetic movement, and is an invisible dance, as dancing is a +silent music. Finally, this also ranks among the advantages of his +eye and heel pleasure; that children with children, by no harder canon +than the musical, light as sound, may be joined in a rosebud feast +without thorns or strife." The dances may be of the simplest kind, +such as "Ring Around a Rosy," "Here We Go, To and Fro," "Old Dan +Tucker" and the "Virginia Reel." The old-fashioned singing plays, such +as "London Bridge," "Where Oats, Peas, Beans, and Barley Grow," and +"Pop Goes the Weasel" have their place and value. Several collections +of them have been made and published, but usually quite enough +material may be found for these plays in the memories of the people of +any neighborhood. + +[Sidenote: Toys] + +All these plays, it will be noticed, call for very simple and +inexpensive apparatus, in most cases for no apparatus at all. +Nevertheless there is a place for toys. All children ought to have +a few, both because of the innocent pleasure they afford and because +they need to have certain possessions which are inalienably their own. +A simple and inexpensive list of suitable toys adapted to various ages +is given at the end of this section. Most of them are exactly the toys +that parents usually buy. But it will be noticed that none of them are +very elaborate or expensive, and that the patrol wagon is not among +them. This is because the patrol wagon directly leads to plays that +are not only uneducational but positively harmful in their tendencies. +The children of a whole neighborhood were once led into the habit of +committing various imitation crimes for the sake of being arrested +and carried off in miniature patrol wagon. It any such expensive and +elaborate toys are bought, it may well be the plain express wagon or +the hook and ladder and fire engine. The first of these leads to plays +of industry, the second to those of heroism. + + LIST OF TOYS SUITABLE FOR VARIOUS AGES. + + Ball, rubber ring, soft animals and rag dolls ......... Before 1 year + Blocks and Bells ............................................. 1 year + Small chair and table ....................................1 1/2 years + Noah's Ark .................................................. 2 years + Picture books ............................................... 2 years + Materials and instruments .............................. 2 to 3 years + Carts, stick-horses, and reins ..................... 2 1/2 to 3 years + Boats, ships, engines, tin or wooden animals, dolls, + dishes, broom, spade, sand-pile, bucket, etc ................ 3 years + Hoop, games and story books ................................. 5 years + + + + +OCCUPATIONS + + +[Sidenote: Home Kindergarten] + +There are a number of books designed to teach mothers how to carry the +Kindergarten occupations over into the home; but while such books may +be helpful in a few cases, in most cases better occupations present +themselves in the course of the day's work. The Kindergarten +occupations themselves follow increasingly the order of domestic +routine. For example, many children in the Kindergarten make mittens +out of eiderdown flannel in the Fall, when their own mothers are +knitting their mittens, and make little hoods either for themselves +or for their dolls. At other periods they put up little glasses of +preserves or jelly, and study the industry of the bees and the way +they put up their tiny jars of jelly. Their attention is called also +to the preparations that the squirrels and other animals make for +winter, and to that of the trees and flowers. In other words, the +occupations in the Kindergarten are designed to bring the children +into conscious sympathy with the life of nature and of the home. + +[Sidenote: Kindergarten Methods] + +That mother who keeps this purpose in mind and applies it to the +occupations that come up naturally in the course of a day's work, +will thereby bring the Kindergarten spirit into her own home much more +truly than if she invests in a number of perforated sewing cards and +colored strips of paper for weaving. Not that there is any harm in +these bits of apparatus, provided that the sewing cards are large and +so perforated as not to task the eyes and young fingers of the sewer. +But unless for some special purpose, such as the making of a Christmas +or birthday gift, these devices are unnecessary and better left to the +school, which has less richness of material at hand than has the home. + +[Sidenote: Helping Mother] + +In allowing the children to enter a workers into the full life of the +home several good things are accomplished. (1) The eager interest of +the developing mind is utilized to brighten those duties which are +likely to remain permanent duties. Not does this observation apply +only to girls. Domestic obligations are supposed to rest chiefly upon +them, but the truth is that boys need to feel these obligations as +keenly as the girls, if they are to grow into considerate and helpful +husbands and fathers. The usual division of labor into forms falsely +called masculine and feminine is, therefore, much to be deplored. +Moreover, at an early age children are seldom sex-conscious, and any +precocity in this direction is especially evil in its results; yet +many mothers from the beginning make such a division between what +they require of their boys and of their girls as to force this +consciousness upon them. All kinds of work, then, should be allowed in +the beginning, however it may differentiate later on, and little +boys as well as little girls should be taught to take an interest in +sewing, dish-washing, sweeping, dusting, and cooking--in all the forms +of domestic activity. + +This is so far recognized among educators that the most progressive +primary schools now teach cooking to mixed classes of boys and +girls, and also sewing. These activities are recognized as highly +educational, being, as they are, interwoven with the history of the +race and with its daily needs. When they are studied in their full sum +of relationship, they increase the child's knowledge of both the past +and the living world. + +[Sidenote: Teaching Mother] + +(2) Besides the deepening of the child's interest in that work which +in some form or other he will have with him always, is the quickening +of the mother's own interest in what may have come to seem to her +mere daily drudgery. Any woman who undertakes to perform so simple +an operation as dish-washing with the help of a bright happy child, +asking sixteen questions to the minute, will find that common-place +operation full of possibilities; and if she will answer all the +questions she will probably find her knowledge strained to the +breaking point, and will discover there is more to be known about +dish-washing than she ever dreamed of before; while in cooking, if +she will make an effort to look up the science, history, and ethics +involved in the cooking and serving of a very simple meal, she will +not be likely to regard the task as one beneath her, but rather as +one beyond her. No one can so lead her away from false conventions and +narrow prejudices as a little child whom she permits to help her and +teach her. + +[Sidenote: The Love of Work] + +(3) The child's spontaneous joy in being active and in doing any +service is being utilized, as it should be, in the performance of his +daily duties. We have already referred to the fact that all children +in the beginning love to work, and that there must be something the +matter with our education since this love is so early lost and so +seldom reacquired. If when young children wish to help mother they +are almost invariably permitted to do so, and their efforts greeted +lovingly, this delight in helpfulness will remain a blessing to them +throughout life. + +[Sidenote: To Make "Helping" of Benefit] + +But in order to get these benefits from the domestic activities two or +three simple rules must be observed. (1) Do not go silently about your +work, expecting your child to be interested and to understand without +being talked to. Play with him while you work with him, and see the +realization of youthfulness that comes to yourself while you do it. +Many tasks fit for childish hands are in their nature too monotonous +for childish minds. Here your imagination must come into play to rouse +and excite his activity. For instance, you are both shelling peas. +When he begins to be tired you suggest to him, "Here is a cage full of +birds, let us open the door for them;" or you may tell a story while +you work, but it should be a story about that very activity, or the +child will form the habit of dreaming and dawdling over his work. Such +stories may be perfectly simple and even rather pointless and yet +do good work; the whole object is to keep the child's fly-away +imagination turned upon the work at hand, thus lending wings to his +thought, and lightness to his fingers. Moreover, the mother who talks +with her child while working is training in him the habit of +bright unconscious conversation, thus giving him a most useful +accomplishment. Making a game or a play out of the work is, of course, +conducive to the same good results. When the story or the talk drags, +the game with its greater dramatic power may be substituted. + +[Sidenote: Fatigue] + +(2) Children should neither be allowed to work to the point of fatigue +nor to stop when they please. Fatigue, as our latest investigators in +physiological psychology have conclusively proved, is productive of an +actual poison in the blood and as such is peculiarly harmful to young +children. But while work--or for that matter play either--must never +be pushed past the point of healthful fatigue, it may well be pushed +past the point of spontaneous interest and desire: the child may be +happily persuaded by various hidden means to do a little more than he +is quite ready to do. By this device, which is one of the recognized +devices of the Kindergarten, mothers increase by imperceptible degrees +that power of attention which makes will power. + +[Sidenote: Willing Industry] + +(3) Set the example of willing industry. Neither let the child +conceive of you as an impersonal necessary part of the household +machinery, nor as an unwilling martyr to household necessities. Most +mothers err in one or the other of these two directions, and many of +them err in both: they either, (a) perform the innumerable services of +the household so quietly and steadily that the child does not perceive +the effort that the performance costs and, therefore, as far as his +consciousness is concerned, is deprived of the force of his mother's +example, or (b) they groan aloud over their burdens and make their +daily martyrdom vocal. Either way is wrong, for it is a mistake not to +let a child see that your steady performance of tasks, which cannot be +always delightful, is a result of self-discipline; and it is equally a +mistake to let him think that this discipline is one against which +you rebel. For in reality you are so far from being unwilling to bind +yourself in his service that if he needed it you would promptly double +and quadruple your exertions. It is exactly what you do when he is +sick or in danger; and if he dies the sorest ache of your heart is the +ache of the love that can no longer be of service to the beloved. + +[Sidenote: Monotony] + +(4) Remember that monotony is the curse of labor for both child and +adult, but that _monotony cannot exist where new intellectual insights +are constantly being given_. Therefore, while the daily round of +labor, shaped by the daily recurring demands for food, warmth, +cleanliness, and sleep, goes on without much change, seize every +opportunity to deepen the child's perception of the relation of this +routine to the order of the larger world. For instance, if a new house +is being built near by, visit it with the children, comparing it with +your own house, figure out whether it is going to be easier to keep +clean and to warm than your house is and why. If you need to call in +the carpenter, the plumber, the paper-hanger, or the stoveman, try +to have him come when the children are at home, and let them satisfy +their intense curiosity as to his work. This knowledge will sooner or +later be of practical value, and it is immediately of spiritual value. + +[Sidenote: Beautiful Work] + +(5) Beautify the work as much as possible by letting the artistic +sense have full play. This rule is so important that the attempt to +establish it in the larger world outside of the home has given rise to +the movement known as the arts and crafts movement, which has its rise +in the perception that no great art can come into existence among us +until the common things of daily living--the furniture, the books, the +carpets, the chinaware--are made to express that creative joy in the +maker which distinguishes an artistic product from an inartistic one. +This creative joy, in howsoever small degree, may be present in most +of the things that the child does. If he sets the table, he may set it +beautifully, taking real pleasure in the coloring of the china and the +shine of the silver and glass. He ought not to be permitted to set it +untidily upon a soiled tablecloth. + +[Sidenote: The Right Spirit] + +(6) This is a negative rule, but perhaps the most important of all: DO +NOT NAG. The child who is driven to his work and kept at it by means +of a constant pressure of a stronger will upon his own, is deriving +little, if any, benefit from it; and as you are not teaching him to +work for the sake of his present usefulness, which is small at +the best, but for the sake of his future development, you are more +desirous that he should perform a single task in a day in the right +spirit, than that he should run a dozen errands in the wrong spirit. + +(7) Besides a regular time each day for the performance of his set +share in the household work, give him warning before the arrival of +that hour. Children have very incomplete notions of time; they become +much absorbed in their own play; and therefore no child under nine +or ten years of age should be expected to do a given thing at a given +time without warning that the time is at hand. + +[Sidenote: "Busy Work"] + +Besides these occupations which are truly part of the business of life +come any number of other occupations--a sort of a cross between real +play and steady work, what teachers call "busy work"--and here the +suggestions of the Kindergarten may be of practical value to the +mother. For instance, weaving, already referred to, may keep an active +child interested and quiet for considerable periods of time. Besides +the regular weaving mats of paper, to be had from any Kindergarten +supply store, wide grasses and rushes may be braided into mats, raffia +and rattan may be woven into baskets, and strips of cloth woven into +iron-holders. A visit to any neighboring Kindergarten will acquaint +the mother with a number of useful, simple objects that can be woven +by a child. Whatever he weaves or whatever he makes should be applied +to some useful purpose, not merely thrown away; and while it is true +that a conscientious desire to live up to this rule often results in +a considerable clutter of flimsy and rather undesirable objects about +the house, still, ways may be devised for slowly retiring the oldest +of them from view, and disposing of others among patient relatives. + +[Sidenote: Sewing] + +Sewing is another occupation ranch used in the Kindergarten as well as +in the home. Beginning with the simple stringing of large wooden beads +upon shoe-strings, it passes on to sewing on buttons, and sewing doll +clothes to the making of real clothing. This last in its simplest form +can be begun sooner than most parents suppose, especially if the child +is taught the use of the sewing machine. There is really no reason why +a child, say six years old, should not learn to sew upon the machine. +His interest in machinery is keen at this period, and two or three +lessons are usually sufficient to teach him enough about the mechanism +to keep him from injuring it. Once he has learned to sew upon the +machine, he may be given sheets and towels to hem, and even sew up +the seams of larger and more complex articles. He will soon be able +to make aprons for himself and his sisters and mother. Toy sewing +machines are now sold which are really useful playthings, and on which +the child can manufacture a number of small articles. Those run by +a treadle are preferable to those run by a hand crank, because they +leave the child's hands free to guide the work. + +[Sidenote: Drawing Cutting Pasting] + +Drawing, painting, cutting and pasting are excellent occupations for +children. A large black-board is a useful addition to the nursery +furnishings, but the children should be required to wash it off with a +damp cloth, instead of using the eraser furnished for the purpose, +as the chalk dust gets into the room and fills the children's lungs. +Plenty of soft pencils and crayons, also large sheets of inexpensive +drawing paper, should be at hand upon a low table so that they can +draw the large free outlines which best develop their skill, whenever +the impulse moves them. If they have also blunt scissors for cutting +all sorts of colored papers and a bottle of innocuous library paste, +they will be able to amuse themselves at almost any time. + +[Sidenote: Painting] + +Some water colors are now made which are harmless for children so +young that they are likely to put the paints in their mouths. Paints +are on the whole less objectionable than colored chalks, because +the crayons drop upon the floor and get trodden into the carpet. If +children are properly clothed as they should be in simple washable +garments, there is practically no difficulty connected with the free +use of paints, and their educational value is, of course, very high. + + + + +TEST QUESTIONS + + +The following questions constitute the "written recitation" which the +regular members of the A.S.H.E. answer in writing and send in for +the correction and comment of the instructor. They are intended to +emphasize and fix in the memory the most important points in the +lesson. + + + + +STUDY OF CHILD LIFE PART II + + + +Read Carefully. In answering these questions you are earnestly +requested _not_ to answer according to the text-book where opinions +are asked for, but to answer according to conviction. In all cases +credit will be given for thought and original observation. Place your +name and full address at the head of the paper; use your own words so +that your instructor may be sure that you understand the subject. + + + +1. State Fichte's doctrine of rights and show how it applies to child +training. If possible, give an example from your own experience. + +2. What is the aim of moral training? + +3. What two sayings of Froebel most characteristically sum up his +philosophy? + +4. What is the value of play in education? + +5. What are the natural playthings? Tell what, in your childhood, you +got out of these things, or if you were kept away from them, what the +prohibition meant to you. + +6. What do you think about children's dancing? And acting? + +7. Do you agree with those who think that the Kindergarten makes right +doing too easy? State the reasons for your opinion. + +8. What can you say of commands, reproofs, and rules? + +9. Should you let the children help you about the house, even when +they are so little as to be troublesome? Why? If they are unwilling to +help, how do you induce them to help? + +10. What would you suggest as regular duties for children of 4 to 5 +years? Of 7 to 8 years? + +11. Which do you consider the more important, the housework or the +child? + +12. Wherein may the mother learn from the child? + +13. What is the difference between amusing children and playing with +them? What is the proper method? + +14. Mention some good rules in character building. + +15. From your own experience as a child what can you say of teaching +the mysteries of sex? + +16. Are there any questions you would like to ask, or subjects which +you wish to discuss in connection with this lesson? + + +Note.--After completing the test sign your full name. + +[Illustration: MADONNA AND CHILD + +By Murillo, Spanish painter of the seventeenth century] + + + +STUDY OF CHILD LIFE + + + +PART III + + + +ART AND LITERATURE IN CHILD LIFE + + +The influence of art upon the life of a young child is difficult of +measurement. It may freely be said, however, that there is little or +no danger in exaggerating its influence, and considerable danger in +underrating it. It is difficult of measurement because the influence +is largely an unconscious one. Indeed, it may be questioned whether +that form of art which gives him the most conscious and outspoken +pleasure is the form that in reality is the most beneficial; for, +unquestionably, he will get great satisfaction from circus posters, +and the poorly printed, abominably illustrated cheap picture-books +afford him undeniable joy. He is far less likely to be expressive of +his pleasure in a sun-shiny nursery, whose walls, rugs, white beds, +and sun-shiny windows are all well designed and well adapted to his +needs. Nevertheless, in the end the influence of this room is likely +to be the greater influence and to permanently shape his ideas of +the beautiful; while he is entirely certain, if allowed to develop +artistically at all, to grow past the circus poster period. + +This fact--the fact that the highest influence of art is a secret +influence, exercised not only by those decorations and pictures which +flaunt themselves for the purpose, but also by those quiet, necessary, +every-day things, which nevertheless may most truly express the art +spirit--this fact makes it difficult to tell what art and what kind of +art is really influencing the child, and whether it is influencing him +in the right directions. + +[Sidenote: Color] + +Until he is three years old, for example, and often until he is past +that age, he is unable to distinguish clearly between green, gray and +blue; and hence these cool colors in the decorations around him, or in +his pictures, have practically no meaning for him. He has a right, +one might suppose, to the gratification of his love for clear reds and +yellows, for the sharp, well-defined lines and flat surfaces, +whose meaning is plain to his groping little mind. Some of the best +illustrators of children's books have seemed to recognize this. For +example, Boutet de Monvil in his admirable illustrations of Joan of +Arc meets these requirements perfectly, and yet in a manner which must +satisfy any adult lover of good art. The Caldecott picture books, and +Walter Crane's are also good in this respect, and the Perkins pictures +issued by the Prang Educational Co. have gained a just recognition +as excellent pictures for hanging on the nursery wall. Many of the +illustrations in color in the standard magazines are well worth +cutting out, mounting and framing. This is especially true of Howard +Pyle's work and that of Elizabeth Shippen Green. + +[Sidenote: Classic Art] + +Since photogravures and photographs of the masterpieces can be had +in this country very inexpensively, there is no reason why children +should not be made acquainted at an early age with the art classics, +but there is danger in giving too much space to black and white, +especially in the nursery where the children live. Their natural love +of color should be appealed to do deepen their interest in really good +pictures. + +[Illustration: "My Mary"] + +[Illustration: "Blow, Wind Blow" + +PERKINS' PICTURES] + +Nevertheless, it is a matter of considerable difficulty still to +find colored pictures which are inexpensive and yet really good. The +Detaille prints, while not yet cheap, are not expensive either, and +are excellent for this purpose; but the insipid little pictures of +fairies, flowers, and birds may be really harmful, as helping to form +in the young child's mind too low an ideal of beauty--of cultivating +in him what someone has called "the lust of the eye." + +[Sidenote: Plastic Art] + +What holds true of the pictorial art holds equally true of the plastic +art. As Prof. Veblin of the University of Chicago has scathingly +declared, our ideals of the beautiful are so mingled with worship of +expense that few of us can see the genuine beauty in any object apart +from its expensiveness. For this reason as well as, perhaps, because +of a remnant of barbarism in us, we love gold and glitter, and a great +deal of elaboration in our vases, and are far from being over-critical +of any piece of statuary which costs a respectable sum. + +[Illustration: RELIEF MEDALLION + +By Andrea della Robbia, in Foundling Hospital, Florence.] + +A certain appreciation, however, of the real value of a good +plaster-cast has been gaining among us of late years, and many public +schools, especially in the large cities, have been establishing +standards of good taste in this respect. Good casts and bas-relief, +decorate their halls and class-rooms. There are few homes that cannot +afford to follow their example. But in buying these things be not +misled by sales and advertised bargains. It is more than seldom that +the placques, casts, and vases thus obtained are such as could have +any valuable influence whatever upon the young lives with which they +are brought in contact. Meretricious and showy ornaments, designed to +look as if they cost more than they really do, have no business in the +sincere home where the children are being sincerely educated. + +[Sidenote: Music] + +The same general laws apply to music. No art has a greater and more +insinuating influence. The very songs with which the mother sings the +baby to sleep have an occult influence which is later revealed and +made plain. Such songs, then, should be simple. They may be nothing +but improvisations, the mother's mind and heart making music, but +they should not be melodramatic songs of the music-hall order. No such +mawkish sentimentalism as that shown in "The Gypsy's Warning," for +example, or other songs which belong to the cheap theater should have +a place in the holy of holies--that inmost self of the child--which +responds to music. + +The simple folk-songs of all nations, Eleanor Smith's and most of +Mrs. Gaynor's songs, already mentioned, and the songs collected by +Reinecke, called "Fifty Children's Songs," are excellent for this +purpose. The old-fashioned nonsense songs, such as "Billy Boy," "Mary +had a Little Lamb" and "Hey Diddle Diddle, the Cat and the Fiddle," +may also have a pleasant and harmless place of their own. + +Instrumental music should be on the same general order, not loud and +showy, but clear, simple, sweet, and free from startling effects. +Dashing pieces, rag-time pieces, marches, two-steps, and familiar +tunes with variations, instead of bringing about a spirit of +gentleness and harmony, actually tend to produce self-assertiveness +and quarrelsomeness. Let any mother who does not believe this try the +effort of an hour of the one kind of music on one evening, and an +hour of the other kind on another evening. The difference will be +immediately apparent. + +[Sidenote: The Drama] + +The influence of the drama must not be forgotten. This form of art, +fallen so low among us since the time of the Puritans that it can +scarcely be called an art at all, is, nevertheless, the art which +perhaps above all others has an immediate and yet lasting influence. +Children are themselves instinctively dramatic. They like to compose +and act out all sorts of dramas of their own, from playing house +(which is nothing but a drama prolonged from day to day), to such +dramatic games as Statue-posing and Dumb Crambo. All children like to +dress up, to wear masks, and to imitate the peculiarities of persons +about them; to try on, as it were, the world as they see it, and +discover thereby how the actors in it feel. Goethe's Wilhelm Meister +has already been referred to. In this--his great book on education--he +practically bases all education upon the drama, and even throws the +treatise itself into dramatic form. + +This does not mean, however, that all children should be permitted +to go to the theater as freely as they like. No; the plays which they +compose and act for themselves have a far higher value educationally +than most of the spectacular presentations of the old fairy tales +with which they are usually regaled, and certainly more than the +sensational melodramas which give them false ideas of art and +morality. They should go sometimes to the theater to see really good +and simple plays, but they should be oftener encouraged to get up for +themselves plays at home. If, as they grow older, they are helped to +think out their costumes with something of historical accuracy, to +be true to the spirit and scenery of the times in which the +representations are laid, the activity can be made to increase in +value to them as the years go by. There is no other art, perhaps, +by which the child so intimately links the world spirit with his own +spirit. It is for this reason that the School of Education in the +University of Chicago is equipped with small theaters in which the +children act. + +[Sidenote: Literature] + +As for the art of literature, not all children love reading, perhaps, +but certainly all children love to hear stories told, and the skilful +mother will direct this spontaneous affection into a love for +reading. No other single love, except perhaps the love of nature, +so emancipates the child from the thrall of circumstances. If he can +escape from the small ills of life into fairy-land merely by opening +the covers of a book, be sure that these ills will not have power to +crush him, unless they be very great ills indeed. + +[Sidenote: Fairy Tales] + +There are those who still believe that fairy-tales and fiction of all +sorts are nothing but lies. Poor souls, with their faces against the +stone wall of hard facts, they can never look up into the sky and see +the winged and beautiful thoughts freely disporting there. They make +no distinction between truth and fact, yet truth is of the spirit and +fact of the flesh; and truth, because it is of the spirit, may appear +under many forms, even under the form of play. All rightly told and +rightly conceived fairy-tales are true just as a good picture is true. +The painter uses oil, turpentine, and pigment to represent the wool +of a sheep, the water of a pond, the green spears of grass. Some +literal-minded person might say that he was lying because he pretented +that his little square of canvas truthfully represented grazing sheep +at the brook-side, but most of us recognize that he is really telling +the truth only in another than an every day form. In the same way +the writer of fairy-tales tells the truth, using the pigments of the +imagination. + +If children ask whether a given story is true or not, answer without +hesitation, "yes." It is true, but it is a fairy kind of truth; it +is inside truth. There is magic in it and a mystery. The child who is +never allowed to read fairy tales, the man or the woman who prefers +the newspaper to a good book of fiction, misses much in life. It is +not only that the imagination--the divinest quality of man, because +the quality that makes man in his degree a creator--does not receive +culture, and that he misses the indescribable intellectual ecstasy +that comes only with the setting free of the wings of the mind, but +that also he is inevitably shorn of his sympathy and shut up to a +narrow circle of interests. + +[Sidenote: Imagination and Sympathy] + +For sympathy, above all moral qualities, is dependent upon +imagination. If you cannot imagine how you would feel under your +neighbor's conditions, you cannot deeply sympathize with him. The +person of unimaginative mind sympathizes only with those whose +experience and habits are similar to his own. He never escapes +from the narrow circle of his own personality. But the man whose +imagination has been kept flexible and ready from earliest childhood +has within him the power of sympathizing with whatever is human--yes! +even with creatures and things below the human level. Without +imagination, therefore, it is not possible for a man to be a great +scientist, for science demands sympathy with processes and objects +which are not yet human. It is not possible, obviously, for him to be +a great artist of any kind, for all art is interpretation of the world +by means of the imagination. It is not possible for him, even, to be +a good man in any broad sense, for the man whose sympathies are narrow +is often found to be guilty of injustice toward those who lie outside +the pale of those sympathies. + +By all means, then, encourage the love of reading in your children, +and get them the best of story-books to read, and subscribe to the +best magazines. Read with them. Let some reading enter into every +day's life; talk over what has been read at the dinner-table, and so +avoid harmful personalities and disagreeable criticisms. + +[Sidenote: Books] + +As to the books to choose, choose the best. Generally speaking, the +best are those that have some dignity of age upon them. As in music +you chose the folksongs, so in children's literature also choose the +old fashioned fairy stories, such as those collected by the Brothers +Grimm and by Andrew Lang. Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Stories +of course are classics. Hawthorne's Tanglewood Tales give excellent +suggestions as to the right use to be made of the old mythologies. +Many of the supplementary readers now being so widely used in the +public schools are good, simple versions of these old stories which +helped to make the world what it should be. For the rest there are +two standard children's magazines which help to form a good taste in +literature and which are continually suggestive of the right sort of +reading material. These are The Youth's Companion and St. Nicholas. + +[Sidenote: Nature Study] + +Finally, all appreciation of literature and art depends upon a love of +and some knowledge of nature. Fairy stories and mythology especially +are so dependent upon nature for their inner meaning and significance +as scarcely to be intelligible without some knowledge of natural +processes and laws. Of course, it is true that art in its turn +idealizes nature and fills her beautiful form with a beautiful soul; +so that the child who is being developed on all sides needs to take +his books and his pictures out of doors in order to get the full good +of them. + +[Sidenote: Art and Nature] + +No amount of music, art, and literature can make up for the free life +in the fields and under the sky which all these arts describe and +interpret. If he should be so unhappy as to have to choose between +nature and art, it would be better for him to choose nature, because +then, perhaps, art might be born in his own soul. But there is happily +no need for such a painful choice. He can sing his little song out of +doors with the birds and notice how they join in the chorus. He can +paint evening sunsets with the pine-trees against it far better out of +doors than indoors with copy perched before him. He can look down the +aisles of the real woods to watch for the enchanted princess, or for +the chivalrous knight whose story he is reading. Art and nature belong +together in the unified soul of the child. Well for him and for the +world in which he lives if they are never divorced, but he goes on to +the end loving them both and seeing them both as one. + + + + +CHILDREN'S ASSOCIATES + + +If the child was intended to grow into a man of family, merely, family +training might be sufficient for him, but since he must grow into a +member of society, social training is as necessary for him as family +training. Failure to recognize this truth is at the bottom of the +current misconceptions of the Kindergarten. There are still thousands +of persons who suppose it is only a superior sort of day-nursery where +children may be safely kept and innocently employed while the mother +gets the housework done. + +[Sidenote: The Kindergarten] + +While this might be a laudable enough function to perform, it is by +no means the function of the Kindergarten. This method of instruction +aims at much more. It aims to lay foundations for a complete later +education, and especially to make firm in the child those virtues and +aptitudes which, when they are held by the majority of men, constitute +the safety and welfare of society. For this reason no home, however +well ordered, can supply to the child what the Kindergarten supplies. +For the home is necessarily limited to the members of one family, +while the Kindergarten, on the contrary, makes plain to the child the +claims upon him of society not made up of his kinsfolk. It is the wide +world in miniature, and if it is a properly organized Kindergarten, +it will contain within itself a wide variety of children--children of +wealth and of poverty, of ignorance and of gentle breeding--and will +bring them all under one just rule. For only by this commingling of +many characters upon a common level and under the strict reign of +justice can the child be fitted practically, and by means of a series +of progressive experiments, for citizenship in a genuine democracy. + +[Sidenote: Exclusive Associates] + +Parents sometimes so far miss the aim of the Kindergarten as to desire +that instead of such a commingling there shall be a narrow limit set; +that in the Kindergarten shall be only such children as the child is +accustomed to associate with. But if the Kindergarten acceded to this +demand, as it seldom does, it would lose much of its usefulness, for +every one knows that children cannot be permanently sheltered from +contact with the outside world, nor can they be always reared in an +atmosphere of exclusiveness. A wisdom greater than the mother's has +ordered that no child shall be so narrowly nourished. If he has any +freedom whatever, any naturalness of life, he must and will enlarge +his circle of acquaintances beyond the limit of his mother's calling +list. + +Indeed, even those Kindergartens which are professedly exclusive, and +which confine their ministrations to the children of one particular +neighborhood, are obliged by the nature of things to contain nascent +individualities of almost every type. For no neighborhood, however +equal in wealth and fashion, ever produced children of an unvarying +quality. In any circle, no matter how exclusive, there are mischievous +children, children who use bad language, children who have sly, mean +tricks, children who do not speak the truth, and who are in other ways +quite as undesirable as the children of the poor and ignorant. It is +often asserted, indeed, that the children of exclusive neighborhoods +very often show more varieties of badness than the children of the +open street. The records of the private Kindergarten as compared with +the public Kindergarten amply prove this statement. + +[Sidenote: Evil Example] + +Since, then, whether you confine your child to the limits of your +own circle or not, you cannot successfully keep him from playing with +children who are more or less objectionable, what are you going to do +to keep him from the harm of such association? You have to make him +strong enough to withstand temptation and resist the force of evil +example. Of course, he must have as little of the wrong example, +especially in his younger and tenderer years, as can be managed +without too greatly checking his activity and curtailing his freedom. +Yet after all he is to be taught a positive and not a negative +righteousness, and if his home training is not sufficient to enable +him to stand against a certain downward pull from the outside, there +is something the matter with it. + +While he must not be strained too hard, nor too constantly associate +with children whose manners put his manners to the test, still he +ought by degrees, almost imperceptibly, to be accustomed to holding +to the truth, to that which is found good, no matter whether his +associates find it desirable or not. + +[Sidenote: Social Training] + +A good Kindergarten is a mother's best help in this endeavor, for +there her child meets with all sorts of other children. The very +influence of the place, and the ever-ready help of the teacher are on +his side. Every effort he makes to do right is met and welcomed. In +every stand that he takes against temptation, he is unobtrusively +reinforced. Moreover, the wrong-doing of his comrades is never allowed +to retain the attractive glitter that it sometimes acquires on the +play-ground. It is promptly held up to general obloquy, and the good +child finds to his surprise that he is not the only one who thinks +that teasing, for example, is mean and selfish and that a violent +temper is ugly. + +[Sidenote: Responsibility to Society] + +Moreover, in the Kindergarten the sense of social responsibility is +borne in upon him. Perhaps it comes to him first when he is chosen +to lead the march and finds that he must be careful not to squeeze +through too narrow places, lest someone get into trouble. In dealing +out pencils, worsted, and other materials he must be careful to +show strict impartiality, and give no preference to his own personal +friends. In a hundred small ways he is helped to regulate his own +conduct, so that it may conduce to the welfare of the whole school. + +Where there are no Kindergartens, the task becomes a more difficult +one for the mother, for it becomes necessary, then, that she herself +should undertake the social training of her child, and this means that +she must know his playmates, not only through his report of them, +but through her own observation of them, and that they must be +sufficiently at home with her to betray their true characters in her +presence. And this means, of course, that she must become her child's +playmate. There are few women who think that they have time for this, +but there are also few who would not be benefited by it. If anywhere +there is a fountain of youth, it gushes up invisibly wherever playing +children are, and she who plays with them gets sprinkled by it. + +[Sidenote: Sharing the Child's Play] + +If there be no time during the busy day when she can justly enter into +the children's free play, at least there is a little while in the late +afternoon or in the early evening when she can do so, if she will. An +hour or two a week spent in active association with children at their +games will make her intimately acquainted with all their playmates, +and, moreover, constitute her a power of first magnitude among them. +Her motherhood thus extends itself, and she blesses not only her own +children, but all those who come near her children. In this respect no +Kindergarten can take the place of the mother's own companionship with +the child in his social life. + +[Sidenote: The Children's Hour] + +In an ideal condition the child has his Kindergarten in the morning; +his quiet hours, one of them entirely solitary, in the afternoon; his +social time, when he, his brothers and sisters and mother, are joined +with the other children and mothers in the neighborhood, in the late +afternoon, and his family time, with both father and mother, in the +evening before going to bed. + +In thus sharing her child's social life the mother admits the claim +upon her of social responsibility; she sees that her duty is not +to her own home alone, but to the other homes with which hers is +linked--not to her own child alone, but to all children whose lives +touch her child's life. Her own nature widens with the perception, +and she enhances her direct teaching with the force of a beautiful +example. + + + + +STUDIES AND ACCOMPLISHMENTS + + +[Sidenote: Abstract Studies] + +There may easily be too many studies and too many accomplishments +in the life of any child. As our schools are constituted there are +certainly too many studies of the wrong kind being carried on every +day. But there are also too few studies of the right kind. In one of +our large cities a test was once made as to how much the children +who left school at the fifth grade, as 70 per cent of them do, had +actually learned in a way that would be of practical value to them, +and the results were most discouraging. These city children who could +recite their tables of measurements with glibness, and who performed +with a fair degree of success several hundred examples dealing with +units of measure, could not tell whether their school-room floor +contained one acre or two hundred and forty! None of them suspected +that it contained less than an acre. Although they could bound the +States of the Union, and give the principal exports and imports, they +knew next to nothing of their own city and of its actual relation +to the countries which they studied in their geography lessons. The +teachers, in explanation, laid much of the blame for this state of +affairs upon the parents, saying that they took but little interest +in their children's studies, and never attempted to link them to the +things of every-day life. But while this claim might be justified to +some extent, it was by no means sufficient to cover the facts of the +case. The truth is, it was quite as much the teachers' duty to link +these abstract studies with concrete facts, as it was the parents'. + +[Sidenote: Dead Knowledge] + +Such an experience, however, suggests the manner in which parents can +best help on the work of children in school. So long as these studies +are still taught in the dead, monotonous way common to text-books, +children will be racked nervously, and not benefited mentally in the +effort to master them. Fathers and mothers who by the exercise of some +ingenuity manage to show the child that his arithmetical knowledge is +of actual help in solving the questions of every-day life; that his +history has bearings upon the progress of events around him, and that +his geography relates to actual places which, perhaps, father and +mother may have seen, or which their books tell about--such fathers +and mothers will make their children's school work easier, at the same +time that they increase the sum of their children's knowledge. It is +dead knowledge only--knowledge wrenched from its living content--that +is difficult of digestion. + +[Sidenote: The New Education] + +It is natural for a young mind to like to learn, as it is for a +healthy stomach to be supplied with food; but knowledge, like the +food, must be fit for the use that is to be made of it and for the +organ that is to receive it; and the brain, like the stomach, has a +signal which it flies to show whether the food is what it wants or +not. The brain exhibits interest exactly as the stomach exhibits +appetite. The object of scientific education is to discover what the +spontaneous, universal interest of children of certain ages is, and +to meet that interest with the fullest possible supply of knowledge in +every conceivable form. + +Scientific education does not depend upon text-books or upon merely +verbal explanations, but gets the idea home to the child by the means +of a varied appeal to all the senses and sensibilities. For this +reason the most advanced schools have many more studies and what are +commonly called accomplishments than the public or parochial +schools. That is, they add to the three r's--reading, 'riting and +'rithmetic--drawing, modeling, painting, manual training, physical +culture, dramatic representation, music, field trips, and laboratory +work. + +[Sidenote: Correlation of Studies] + +Yet this apparently great increase of subjects in the number of +studies actually lessens the amount of work required of the child, +because all these different activities, by means of what is called +correlation, are brought to bear upon the same subject. For example, +the class which goes out for a field trip to visit a near-by brook +sees the water actually at work, cutting its way to the river, and +thence to the sea. They measure its force and note its effects; they +make a water-color sketch of some curve of it; they notice what birds +and insects are about; what flowers grow there; what indications there +may be of burrowing animals. When they get back to school they model, +perhaps, some bird that they have noticed; or in the geographical +laboratory, with streams of water try to reproduce in miniature the +action of the brook upon the soil through which it flows. + +For their arithmetic lesson they estimate the number of years the +brook must have been flowing to have cut its valley to its present +depth. They make a full report and description of their day's work +for their reading and writing lesson. They have thus gained an immense +amount of information, and have done a great deal of hard work; but +instead of being nervously exhausted, they are bright and exhilarated. +Such fatigue as they know is wholesome and fits them for a sound +night's sleep. + +[Sidenote: Home Expedients] + +When it is impossible to send the child to such a school as this, +something may be done by supplementing the ordinary school by some +of these procedures. The clay jar, the crayons, and the paints have +already been suggested, and with the parents' interest in the child's +studies, helping him to model and paint things which he studies at +school, he will instantly show the good effect of the home training +and encouragement. As for field trips, the regular Sunday walk, or +evening stroll, may be made to take its place. If you think that you +do not know enough to teach your child on these walks, give him then +the privilege of teaching you. He will work the harder in order to +rise to the occasion. + +[Sidenote: Physical Culture] + +As for physical culture, if your school is without it, your barn, your +parlor, and your lawn may supply it in some sort. In the barn may be a +trapeze; there is already the ladder and the hay-loft; on the lawn may +be a swing, trees to climb, and the tennis court. In your parlor may +be a little home dancing school, where for a half an hour or so, the +children march, skip, or two-step to music of your making. In the wood +shed may be a carpenter's bench with real tools, where he may work and +get some of the good of manual training. + +[Sidenote: Showy Accomplishments] + +Accomplishments, meaning thereby showy things that children do for +the edification of guests, are of doubtful value. It is pleasant, of +course, to have your little girl play a piece or two on the piano to +entertain your visitors, but it is not nearly so important as health +and strength, and a cheerful temper. Sometimes all three of these are +sacrificed to the two or three hours' practice a day. Often, too, this +extra work after school hours--work full as monotonous and nervous +and uninteresting as the school work itself--is just what is needed +to transform a healthy young girl into a nervous invalid. This is +especially true, if she undertakes, as she usually does, to study +music when she is about thirteen years old--the very time when, if +wise physicians could regulate affairs to their liking, she would be +taken out of school altogether and required to do nothing more than a +little light housework every day. + +[Sidenote: Natural Talent] + +Of course, if she is naturally musical some kind of help and sympathy +must be given her in her attempt to master the piano or violin or to +manage her own voice. But while she should be allowed to learn as +much as her unurged energies permit her to learn, she should not be +required to practice more than a very small amount, say half an hour +a day. The bulk of her musical education should be acquired in +the vacation time, when she can give two hours a day without +overstraining. + +The same general rules hold good of dancing, painting, the +acquirements of foreign languages, a special course of reading, or +any other work undertaken in addition to the regular school work. This +latter, as it is now constituted, is quite as severe a nervous and +intellectual strain as most young people can undergo with safety. + +[Sidenote: "Enthusiasms"] + +There is one characteristic in young people which needs to be noted in +this connection:--the desire to take up some form of work, to strive +with it furiously for a brief while, to drop it unfinished; take up +another with equal eagerness, drop that in turn and go on to a third. +This performance is peculiarly irritating to all systematic and +ambitious parents. Sometimes they rigidly insist that each task shall +be finished before a new one is assumed. But in reality, is this +necessary? It seems to be as natural for a young mind to set eagerly +to work for a short time at each new bit of knowledge, as it is for a +nursing child to require refreshments every two or three hours. It is +an adult trait to stick to a task, even though a very long one, until +it is accomplished. The youthful trait is to take kindly to a clutter +of unfinished tasks. + +The youthful consciousness is of a world full of jostling interests. +Why not let the children alone, and allow them to spring lightly from +one enthusiasm to another? Of course you will help them to finish, +either at the first sitting or at the second or at the third, the task +that was undertaken when that particular enthusiasm was at its height. +The drawing which has remained on the easel during the foot-ball +season may be suggestively brought to notice again in the quiet times +between Thanksgiving and Christmas. The boat begun last summer may +well be finished in the days of the succeeding Spring when all the +earth is full of the sound of running water. Thus each task, though +not completed at once, gets done in the end; and the youthful capacity +for many sympathies and many desires has not been narrowed. + +[Sidenote: Parental Vanity] + +Such a line of conduct presupposes, of course, that the parent +considers only the child's best welfare, and not his own parental +vanity. He is not desirous that his son shall do anything so well +as to attract the attention and admiration of the neighbors. He is +desirous merely that the boy shall grow up wholesomely and happily, +showing such superiority as there may be in him when the fitting time +and opportunity present themselves. He will not attempt to make a +musician of an unmusical child, nor a mechanic of an artistic child. +He will not object to the brilliant and impractical dreams of the +young inventor, but will help to make them practicable; and though he +may squirm at some of the investigations of the budding scientist, he +will not forbid them. + +[Sidenote: Development of Intellect] + +For such a parent recognizes that the important thing, educationally, +is to secure the reaction of expression upon thought and feeling. +That is, he is not trying to secure at this time--at any time during +youth--perfect expression of any thought or feeling, but only to +deepen feeling and clarify thought by encouraging all attempts at +expression. He does not wish his child to make a finished picture or +a perfect statue, but to acquire a greater sensitiveness to color and +form by each attempt to express that color and form which he already +knows. Thus whatever studies and accomplishments his child may be in +the act of acquiring are seen to be nothing as acquisitions, but the +child himself is seen to be growing stage by stage within the clumsy +scaffolding. + + + + +FINANCIAL TRAINING + + +The financial training of children ought really to be considered under +the head of moral training, but in some respects it can come equally +well under the head of intellectual training; for to spend money well +requires both self-control and intelligence. Some persons seem to +think that all that a child can be taught in this regard is to save +money, and they meet the situation by purchasing various shapes and +styles of savings banks. But it is entirely possible to teach the +child too thoroughly in this respect and to make him so fond of his +jingling pennies safe within a yellow crockery pig or iron cupolaed +mansion that be will not spend them for any object, however laudable. +Others evade the issue as long as possible by giving the child no +money at all; while most of us pursue an uncertain and wabbly course, +sometimes giving money, sometimes withholding it, sometimes exhorting +the child to spend, and sometimes to save. + +[Sidenote: Regular Allowance] + +In truth spending wisely is a difficult problem. As a rule the child +may safely be induced to lay by for a season and then encouraged to +spend for some generous purpose. Christmas and other festivals offer +excellent opportunities for proper disbursement of the hoarded funds. +These may be supposed to have accumulated from irregular gifts; but +as the child grows older he should come into receipt of a regular +definite allowance, perhaps conditioned upon his performance of some +stated duty. A certain part of his allowance he may he permitted to +spend upon such frivolities as are naturally dear to his young heart; +another part of it he should be encouraged--not commanded--to put +aside for larger purposes. + +The giving of this allowance must not be confused with the pernicious +habit of bribing the child to the performance of those little daily +courtesies and duties which he ought to be willing to perform out of +love and a sense of right. A certain part of his daily work, such as +seeing that the match-boxes all over the house are filled, or some +similar share of the general labor of the household, may be regarded +as that for which he is paid wages; and any extra task which does not +justly belong to him, he may sometimes be paid for performing; but not +always. For instance, he ought to be willing to run to the grocery +for mother without demanding that he be paid a penny for the job; yet +sometimes the penny may be forthcoming. The point is that he should be +ready to work, even to work hard, without pay, and yet that he should +never feel that his mother withholds pay from him when she can give it +and he receive it without injury. + +[Sidenote: Spending Foolishly] + +When the money is once his, he should be allowed to feel the full +happiness and responsibility of possession, and if he insists upon +spending it foolishly, should be allowed to do it and to suffer to the +full the uncomfortable consequences. If, on the contrary, he will +not spend it at all, his mother must use every means in her power to +lessen the desire for ownership and to increase his love for others +and his eagerness to please them. + +As judgment develops the allowance may well be increased to provide +for necessities in the way of incidentals and clothing until at the +"age of discretion" he is in full charge of the funds for his personal +expenses. He should be encouraged to apply his knowledge of commercial +arithmetic in the keeping of personal accounts. + +Experience in spending a fixed amount of money is especially needful +for the daughters. Most young men have the value of money and +financial responsibility forced upon them in the natural course +of events, but too often the young wife has not had the training +qualifying her for the equal financial partnership which should exist +in the ideal marriage. + +[Illustration: THE INFANT GALAHAD--FIRST SIGHT OF THE GRAIL + +From the mural paintings by Edwin A. Abbey in the Boston Public +Library] + + + + +RELIGIOUS TRAINING + + +[Sidenote: Sunday School Teachers] + +If the common school is not sufficient for the secular education +of the child, certainly the Sunday School is not sufficient for his +religious education. In the common schools the teachers are more or +less trained for their work. It is a life occupation with them; by +means of it they earn their living, and their daily success with their +pupils marks their rate of progress toward higher fields of endeavor. +Nothing of this sort is true in the Sunday School. While occasionally +it happens that a day school teacher becomes a Sunday School teacher, +this is seldom true, for most teachers who teach during the week +feel that they need the Sunday for rest; and while some Sunday School +teachers betray a commendable earnestness and zeal for their work, and +associations and conventions have latterly added somewhat to the +joint effort to better the conditions, still it remains true that the +teaching in the Sunday Schools is far below the pedagogic level of +the common schools. Yet the subject which is dealt with in the Sunday +Schools, instead of being of less importance than that dealt with in +the common schools, is of pre-eminently greater importance. Because +of its subtlety, its intimacy with the hidden springs of conduct, it +calls for the exercise of the very highest teaching skill. + +Some sort of recognition of these two facts--that Sunday School +teachers are in most cases very inadequately trained for their work, +and that the work itself is of great importance, and of equally great +difficulty--has led to the issuing of many quarterlies, International +Lesson Leaflets, and other Sunday School aids. Necessary as such help +may be under present conditions, they cannot possibly meet the many +difficulties of the case. If the central committees, who issue these +leaflets, were composed wholly of the wisest men and women on earth, +it would still be impossible for them to give lessons to the millions +of children in their various denominations which should meet the +personal needs, and daily interests of these young people. + +[Sidenote: Sunday School Training] + +As a consequence, Sunday School teaching is and must be largely +theoretical and still more largely exegetical, and with neither theory +nor exegesis is the young mind of the developing child very much +concerned. What he needs is not the historical side of religion or of +that great body of religious literature which we call the Bible, but +a living faith which links all that was taught by the prophets and +apostles, centuries ago, with what is happening in the child's own +town and family at that very moment. It is a wide gap to bridge, and +it cannot be bridged by a semi-historical review backed by picture +cards, golden texts, and stars for good behavior. These things are +merely the marks of an endeavor to fitly accomplish a great task, +an endeavor almost absurdly out of proportion to this aim, rendered +significant, however, because it is the earnest of a great faith and a +great hope. + +So far as Sunday Schools help children, it is because of this spirit +of faithfulness, and not because of the form which it has assumed. + +In choosing, then, whether you shall send your child to a Sunday +School, choose by the presence or absence of this spirit. If you know +the teachers of the Sunday School to be earnest, loving, and devoted, +you may with safety assume that their personal influence will make up +for what is archaic in their method of teaching. Where the spirit is +present only in a few, or where it manifests itself only occasionally, +as at seasons of revival, you may well hesitate to let your child +attend. A great improvement would come about if parents would show +a greater interest and encourage proper teachers to take charge of +classes. It is a thankless task at present. + +[Sidenote: Theory Not Practice] + +There is one great danger in the teaching of any Sunday School--one +which the best of them cannot wholly escape--and that is, that, in the +very nature of things, they teach theory and not practice. Harmful as +this may be, indeed as it surely is in adult life, it does not begin +to be so harmful as it does in youth, for the young child, as we have +seen, is and should remain a unit in consciousness. His life, his +intellect, and his will are one--an undivided trinity. The divorce of +these three is at any time a regrettable occurrence; the divorce of +them in early life is an almost irreparable disaster. + +[Sidenote: Useless Truths] + +The current theory is that children will learn many truths in the +Sunday School which they will not put into practice then, perhaps, but +which they will find useful in later life. This fallacy underlies, of +course, almost all conventional education and has only been overthrown +by the dictum of modern psychology, that there is but small storage +accommodation in the brain for facts which have no immediate relation +to life. What may be termed the saturating power of the brain is +limited, and after it has soaked up a rather small number of truths, +it can contain no more until it has in some way disposed of those that +it still has--either by making them part of its own living structure, +which is done only by making immediate application of them; or by +dropping them below the threshold of consciousness, that is, in common +language, forgetting them. Moreover, the brain may form the habit of +easily dropping all that relates to a given subject into the limbo +where unused things lie disregarded, and when this becomes the +habitual method of disposing of religious instruction, the results are +particularly deplorable. + +[Sidenote: The Mother as Teacher] + +Feeble as her own knowledge may be, a mother has certain advantages as +a teacher of her children over any but the exceptional Sunday school +teacher. For, first, she knows the children, and, knowing them, knows +their needs. Secondly, she knows their daily lives and continually +during the week can point out wherein they fail to live up to +their Sunday's lesson. And again and most important, she loves them +tenderly, and from love flows wisdom. Usually the mother gives her own +children a love far beyond that given by anyone else, and this deeper +love sharpens her intellectual faculties and makes her both a keen +observer and a good tactician. Giving her children some simple lesson +on Sunday afternoon, she finds a hundred opportunities to make the +lesson living and vital to them during the succeeding week. + +[Sidenote: Religious Enthusiasm] + +In the early years of the child's life, the mother is usually the +one to decide whether he shall attend Sunday School or not, but as +he approaches adolescence he is likely to take the matter in his +own hands, and if it happens that some revivalist or a new stirring +preacher comes in contact with his life at this time, he is very +likely to be swept off his feet with a sudden zeal of religious +enthusiasm, which his mother fears to check. The reports of +memberships, baptisms, etc., show that a large number become converted +and join the church during adolescence. While this does not in the +least argue that the conclusions that they reach at that time are +therefore unsound--for adolescence is not a disease, nor a form of +insanity, but a normal, if excitable, condition--still it does prove, +when coupled with the further fact that in adult life these young +converts often relapse into their previous condition, that a more +lasting basis for religion must be found than the emotional intensity +of this period of life. A religion to be lasting must be coldly +reaffirmed by the intellect: the dictum of the heart alone is not +sufficient. Religious enthusiasm, like all other forms of enthusiasm, +tends of itself to bring about the opposite condition, and to be +succeeded by fits of despondency and bitterness as intense and severe +as the enthusiasm itself was brilliant and ecstatic. The history of +all great religious leaders amply proves this. They had their bitter +hours of wrestling with the powers of darkness, hours which almost +counter-balanced the hours of uplift. Only clearly thought-out +intellectual convictions reinforced by the habit of daily righteous +living can secure the soul against such emotional aberrations. + +[Sidenote: Danger of Reaction] + +Therefore, although the religious excitability of adolescence must +not be thwarted lest it be turned into less helpful channels, and lest +religion lose all the beauty and compelling power lent to it by the +glow of youthful feelings, yet it must be so balanced and ordered by +a clear reason, and especially by the habit of putting each enthusiasm +to the test of conduct, that the young mind may remain true to its law +of growth, developing harmoniously on all three sides at once. + +The danger of permitting a young boy or girl while under the influence +of this emotional instability to enter into any special form of +religious service is the danger of reaction. He will discover that +all is not as his early vision led him to suppose--because that +early vision was of things too high and holy for any earthly +realization--and he may turn against what seems to him to be hypocrisy +and pretense with a bitterness proportioned to his former love. Many +honest, faithful men and women remain in this state of reaction for +the rest of their lives. + +[Sidenote: A Difficult Period] + +Nevertheless, it will not do to thwart these young beginnings. They +must neither be nipped in the bud nor forced to a premature ripening. +Above all they must not be suffered to endure the killing frost of +ridicule. The period is a difficult one, but, as Dr. Stanley Hall +points out, it is supremely the mother's opportunity. If she can hold +her boy's or her girl's confidence now, can ease their eager young +hearts with an intelligent sympathy, she can probably keep them from +any public commitment. Perhaps they may desire to confide in the +minister; if so, let the mother confide in him first. Perhaps they +have bosom friends, passing through the same stirring experience; then +let the mother win over these friends. + +Her object should be to shelter this beautiful sentiment; to keep it +safe from exposure; above all, to utilize it as a motive-power--as +an incentive to noble action. The Kindergarten rule is a good one: as +quick as a love springs in a child's breast, give it something to do. +When the love of God awakes there, give it much to do. Usually, the +only way open is to join the church, to make a public profession. The +wise mother will see to it that there are other ways, urging the young +knight to serve his King by going forth into the world immediately +about him and fighting against all forms of evil, giving him a +practical, definite quest. The result of such restriction of +public speech, and stimulation of private deed, will be a sincere, +lowly-minded religion, so inwoven with the truest activities as to be +inseparable from them. Such a religion knows no reaction. + +[Sidenote: Bible Study] + +Now is supremely the time for a study of the Bible. Interesting as a +Divine Story Book to the young children, it becomes the Book of Life +to these older ones. In teaching it at home, a few simple rules need +to be borne in mind. The first is that the Bible must be thought of +not as a series of disconnected texts and thoughts, but as a connected +whole. The division of King James' Bible into verses and chapters is +but poorly adapted to this purpose. The illogical, strange character +of the paragraphing, as measured by the standards of modern English, +is apparent at a glance, for often a verse will end in the middle of +a sentence, and the sentence be concluded in the next verse. The +chapters in the same way often fail to finish the subject with which +they deal, and sometimes include several subjects. Therefore, the +mother who undertakes to read the Bible to her children needs first +to go through the lesson herself, and to decide what subject, not what +chapter, she will take up that day. There is a reader's edition of +the Bible, and one called the "Children's Bible," both of which aim +to leave out all repetition and references and to arrange the Bible +narrative in a simple, consecutive order, nevertheless employing the +beautiful Bible language. These editions might prove of considerable +help to mothers who feel unequal to doing the work by themselves. + +[Sidenote: Children's Bible] + +Second, comparable to this in importance is the reading of the Bible +and talking about it in a perfectly ordinary tone of voice; for what +you want is to make the Bible teachings live in to-day. You must not, +therefore, suggest by your tone or manner that they belong to another +day, and that they are, in some sense, to be shut out from common life +and speech. This does not mean such common use of Biblical phrases +in every day conversation as to cause it to grow into that form or +irreverence known as cant, but it does mean simple usage of Bible +thought, and the effort to fit it to the conditions of daily life. +Such a habit in itself will force any family to discriminate as to +what things in the Bible are living and eternal, and what things +belong rightly to that far away time and place of which the Bible +narrative treats, thus practicing both teacher and pupils--that is, +both parents and children--in the art of finding the universal spirit +of truth under all temporal disguises. Without this art the Bible is a +closed book, even to the closest student. + +[Sidenote: Making Lessons Real] + +Again, every effort should be made to help the home Bible class to +understand the period studied in that week's lesson, and to this end +secular literature and art should be freely called upon, not only such +stories, for example, as "Ben Hur," but other stories not necessarily +religious, which deal with the same time and place; they are of great +help in putting vividly before the children and parents the temporal +setting of the eternal stories. Cannon Farrar's "Life of Christ" is a +very great help to the realization of the New Testament scenes, as is +also Tissot's "Pictorial Life of Christ." In short every art should be +made to deepen and clarify the conceptions roused by the study of the +Bible. + + + +[Sidenote: In Conclusion] + +The mother who undertakes the tremendous task of rightly training her +children, will need to exercise herself daily in all the Christian +virtues--and if there are any Pagan ones not included under faith, +hope, charity, patience, and humility, to exercise those also. +With these virtues to support her, she will be able to use whatever +knowledge she may acquire. Without them she can do nothing. + + + + +TEST QUESTIONS + +The following questions constitute the "written recitation" which the +regular members of the A.S.H.E. answer in writing and send in for +the correction and comment of the instructor. They are intended to +emphasize and fix in the memory the most important points in the +lesson. + + + + +PART III + + +Read Carefully. In answering these questions you are earnestly +requested _not_ to answer according to the text-book where opinions +are asked for, but to answer according to conviction. In all cases +credit will be given for thought and original observation. Place your +name and full address at the head of the paper; use your own words so +that your instructor may be sure that you understand the subject. + +1. How can you bring the influence of art to bear upon your child? + +2. What is the influence of music? How can you employ it? + +3. Do you believe in fairy tales for children? State your reasons. + +4. How would you encourage the love of nature in your child? + +5. What is it that the Kindergarten can do better than the home? + +6. Suppose that your child had some undesirable acquaintances, how +would you meet the situation? + +7. What can you say of accomplishments for children? + +8. If manual training, physical culture, domestic science, etc., are +not taught in your schools and you wish your children to get some of +the advantages of these studies, how will you set about it? + +9. What do you understand to be the correlation of studies? + +10. Should parents become acquainted with the teachers of their +children and their methods? Why? + +11. How may children be taught the use of money? + +12. State the advantages and disadvantages of Sunday schools. What +have they meant in _your own_ experience? + +13. How will you train your child religiously? Can anyone take this +task from you? + +14. What rules must be borne in mind in teaching the Bible at home? + +15. Give some experience of your own (or of a friend) in the training +of a child wherein a success has been achieved. + +16. Are there any questions you would like to ask or subjects which +you wish to discuss in connection with the lessons on the Study of +Child Life? + + +Note.--After completing the test sign it with your full name. + + + + +Supplementary Notes + +on + +STUDY OF CHILD LIFE + +BY MARION FOSTER WASHBURNE + + + +APPLICATION OF PRINCIPLES. + + +In this "Study of Child Life" we have considered some of the +fundamental principles of education. When we think of the complex +inheritance of the American people it is, perhaps, no wonder that many +families contain individuals varying so widely from each other as to +seem to require each a complete system of education all to himself. +We are a people born late in the history of the race, and our blood +is mingled of the Norseman's, the Celt's, and the Latin's. Advancing +civilization alone would tend to make us more complex, our problems +more subtle; but in addition to this we are mixed of all races, and +born in times so strenuous that, sooner or later, every fibre of our +weaving is strained and brought into prominence. + +In the letters from my students this fact, with which I was already +familiar in a general sort of way, has been brought more particularly +to my attention. In all cases, the situation has been responsible for +much confusion and difficulty. In a good many, it has led to +family tragedies, varying in magnitude from the unhappiness of the +misunderstood child to that of the lonely woman, suffering in adult +life from the faults of her upbringing, and the failure of the family +ties whose need she felt the more as the duties of motherhood pressed +upon her. If it were possible for me to violate the confidence of my +pupils I could prove very conclusively that the old-fashioned system +of bringing up children on the three R's and a spanking did not work +so well as some persons seem to think. I could prove that the problem +has grown past the point where instinct and tradition may be held +as sufficient to solve it. Everyone, seeing these letters, would be +obliged to confess, "Yes, indeed, here is plain need of training for +parents." Yet, at the same time, these same persons would be tempted +to inquire, "But can any training meet such a difficult situation?" + +Here is despair; and some cause for it. When one's own mother has not +understood one; when one has lived lonely in the midst of brothers and +sisters who are more strange than strangers; when one's childhood is +full of the memory of obscure but intense sufferings, one flies for +relief, perhaps, to any one who offers it hopefully enough; but +one does not really expect to get it. _Can_ training, especially by +correspondence, meet the need? + +Not wholly, of course, let us be frank to admit. No amount of theory, +however excellent, can take the place of the drill given only in the +hard school of experience. But when the theory is not merely theory, +but sound principle, based on scientific observation, confirmed by the +wide experience of many persons, it is as valuable in practical life +as any rule of mathematics to the practical engineer. We all know that +the technical correspondence schools really do fit young mechanics +to move on and up in the trade. By correspondence he is given what +Froebel calls the interpreting word. The experience in application the +student has to supply himself. + +So in the matter of education. There are genuine principles which +underlie the development of every child that lives--even the +feeble-minded, deaf, and blind. Read Helen Keller's wonderful life, +if you want to see the proof of it. Just as surely as a child has +two legs and has to learn to walk on them by a series of prolonged +experiments, just so surely he has (a) a sense of justice, (b) an +instinct for freedom, (c) a love of play. Every kind of child has all +these instincts, as much as he has love for food and drink; and to +educate him consists in developing these instincts into (a) the habit +of dealing justly by others, (b) the right use of freedom, (c) love +of work. The particular methods may differ. The principles _do not and +CANNOT DIFFER_. + +She who would succeed in child training must hold to these truths with +all her might and main--making them, in fact, her religion, for they +are the doctrines of the Christian religion as applied to motherhood. +To hold them lightly, or even experimentally, will not do. One most +walk in faith. And that the faith may not be blind, but may be based +on experience and understanding, let me suggest this means of proof: +Instead of asking yourself how the laws laid down in these little +books would fit this or that particular child, your own or another's, +ask how they would have fitted you, if they had been applied to you +by your own mother. Take the chapter on faults, pick out the one which +was yours, in childhood--oh, of course, you've got over it now!--think +of some bitter trouble into which that fault hurried you, and conceive +that, instead of the punishment you did receive, you had been treated +as the lesson suggests--what, do you think, would have been the +result? And so with the other chapters--even with that much-mooted +question of companionship. Test the truth of them all by their +imaginary application to the child you know best. When you can, find +the principles that your own mother did employ in your education, +and examine the result of what she did. Some of the principles will +suddenly become luminous to you, I am sure; and some things that +happened in the past receive an explanation. + +Such a self-examination, to be of any value, must be rigidly honest. +There is too much at stake here for you to permit any remnants of +bitter feeling to influence your judgment--and you will surely be +surprised to find how many bitter resentments will show that they +yet have life. The past is dead, as far as your power to change it is +concerned; but it lives, as a thing that you can use. Here is your own +child, to be helped or hindered by what you may have endured. It will +all have been worth while, if by means of it you can save him from +some bruises and falls. Every bitterness will be sweetened if you +can look through it and find the truth which shall serve this dearer +little self who looks to you for guidance. + +Then, when you have found the principles true--and not one minute +before!--put them rigidly into practice. I say, not one minute before +you are convinced, because it is better to hold the truth lightly in +the memory as a mere interesting theory you have never had time to +test, than to swallow it, half assimilated. Truth is a real and living +power, once it is applied to life; and to half-use it in doubt, and +fear, is to invite indigestion and consequent disgust. Take of these +teachings that which you are sure is sound and right, and use it +faithfully, and unremittingly. Be careful that no plea of expediency, +no hurry of the moment, makes you false. If you are thus faithful +in small things, one after the other, in a series fitted to your own +peculiar constitution, the others will prove themselves to you; for +they are coherent truths, and not one lives to itself alone, but joins +hands with all the rest. Being truths, they fit all human minds--yours +and mine, and those of our children, no matter how diverse we may be. + + + + +OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN + + +Isn't it ridiculously true that, as soon as we get enlightened +ourselves, we burn to enlighten the rest of the world? We do not seem +to remember our own feelings during the years of darkness, and the +contentment of those who remain as we were surpasses our power of +comprehension. It is really comforting to my own sense of impatience +and balked zeal to find how many of my pupils are dreadfully concerned +about other people's children. This one's heart burns over the little +boy next door who is shamefully mismanaged and who already begins to +show the ill effects of his treatment. That one has a sister-in-law +who refuses to listen to a word spoken in season. + +Between my smiles--those comfortable smiles with which we recognize +our own shortcomings--I, too, am really concerned about the +sister-in-law's children. It is true that their mother ought to be +taught better, and that, if she isn't, those innocent lambs are going +to suffer for it. Off at this distance, without the ties of kindred to +draw me too close for clear judgment, I see, though, that we have +to walk very cautiously here, for fear of doing more harm than good. +Better that those benighted women never heard the name of child-study, +than to hear it only to greet it with rebellion and hatred. Yet +to force any of our principles upon her attention when she is in a +hostile mood--or to _force_ them, indeed, in any mood--is to invite +just this attitude. + +Most of us, by the time that we are sufficiently grown up to undertake +the study of child life, have outgrown the habit of plainly telling +our friends to their faces just what we think of their faults; yet +this is a safe and pleasant pastime beside that other of trying +to tell them how to bring up their children. You stand it from me, +because you have invited it, and perhaps still more because you never +see me, and the personal element enters only slightly and pleasantly +into our relationship. I sometimes think that students pour out their +hearts to me, much as we used to talk to our girl friends in the dark. +I'm very sure I should never dare to say to their faces what I write +so freely on the backs of their papers! + +You see, the adult, too, has his love of freedom; and while he can +stand an indirect, impersonal preachment, which he may reject if he +likes without apology, he will not stand the insistence of a personal +appeal. I've let "Little Women" shame me into better conduct, when I +was a girl, at times when no direct speech from a living soul would +have brought me to anything but defiance--haven't you? We have to +apply our principles to the adult world about us, well as to the +child-world, and teach, when we permit ourselves to teach at all, +chiefly by example, by cheerful confession of fallibility, by +open-mindedness. Above all things, we have to respect the freedom of +these others, about whom we are so inconveniently anxious. + +It is fair, though, that the spoken word should interpret what we do. +It is fair enough to tell your sister-in-law what you think and ask +her judgment upon it, if you can trust yourself not to rub your own +judgment in too hard. If you are unmarried, and a teacher, you will +have to concede to her preposterous marital conceit a humble and +inquiring attitude, and console your flustered soul by setting it +to the ingenious task of teaching by means of a graduated series of +artful inquiries. Don't, oh don't! seek for an outspoken victory. +Be content if some day you hear her proclaim your truth as her own +discovery. It never was yours, anyway, any more than it is hers or +than it is mine. Be glad that, while she claims it, she at least holds +it close. + +If you are a mother, you are in an easier case. You can do to your own +children just what she ought to do to hers, and tell about it softly, +as if sure of her sympathy. If you are very sincere in your desire for +the welfare of her child, you may even ask her advice about yours, and +so gain the right to offer a little in exchange--say one-tenth of what +she gives. + +All these warnings apply to unsought advice--a dangerous thing to +offer under any circumstances. Except there is a real emergency, you +had better avoid it. If your nephew or little neighbor is winning +along through his troubles fairly well, best keep hands off. But if +you absolutely _must_ interfere, guard yourself as I suggest, and +remember that, even then, you will assuredly get burned, if you play +long with that dangerous fire of maternal pride! + +When your advice is sought, you are in a different position. Then you +have a right to speak out, though if you are wise and loving you will +temper that right with charity. No one can be too gentle in dealing +with a soul that honestly asks for help; but one can easily be too +timid. Think, under these circumstances, of yourself not at all; +but put yourself as much as possible in her place; be led by her +questions; and answer fearlessly from the depths of the best truth you +hold. Then leave it. You can do no more. What becomes of that truth, +once you have lovingly spoken it, is no more of your concern. + + + + +THE SEX QUESTION + + +Always convinced of the importance of this subject, convictions have +deepened to the point of dismay since learning, through this school, +of the many women who have suffered and who continue to suffer, both +mentally and physically, because, in early girlhood, they were not +taught those finer physiological facts upon which the very life of the +race depends. Yet, strangely enough, these very victims find it almost +impossible to give their children the knowledge necessary to save +them from a similar fate. It is as if the lack of early training in +themselves leaves them helpless before a situation from which they +suffer but which they have never mastered. + +Of course such feelings, in themselves morbid, are not to be trusted. +Faced with a task like this we have only to ask ourselves not "Is it +hard?" but "Is it in truth my task?" If it is, we may be sure that we +shall be given strength to do it, provided only that we are sincere in +our willingness to do it and do not count our feelings at all. + +It is preposterous to have such feelings, in the first place. They +are wholly the product of false teaching. For we have no right--as we +recognize when we stop to think about it in calmness of spirit, and +apart from our special difficult--to sit in scornful judgment upon +any of the laws of nature. When we find ourselves in rebellion against +them, what we have to do is to change the state of our minds, for +change the laws we cannot. If we women could inaugurate a gigantic +strike against the present method of bearing children--and I imagine +that millions would join such a strike if it held out any promise of +success!--we still could accomplish nothing. To fret ourselves into a +frazzle over it, is to accomplish less than nothing;--it is to enter +upon the pathway to destruction. + +In teaching our children, then, we have first to conquer +ourselves--that painful, reiterated, primal necessity, which must +underlie all teaching. Having done so, we shall find our task easier +than we supposed. The children's own questions will lead us; and if we +simply make it a rule never to answer a question falsely no matter how +far it may probe, we shall find ourselves not only enlightening +but receiving enlightenment. For nothing is so sure an antidote to +morbidness as the unspoiled mind of a child. He looks at the facts +with such a calm, level gaze that proportions are restored to us as we +follow his look. + +Many of my letters show that adult women, wives and mothers, still +grope for the truth that lies plain to the eyes of any simple +child--the truth that there is no such thing as clean and unclean, +only use and misuse. Others, through love, and the splendid +revelations that it makes, have risen so far above their former +misconceptions that they fear to tell a child the facts before he has +experienced the love. I can imagine that in an ideal world some such +reticence might be good and right--but this is far from an ideal +world. We have to train our children relatively, not absolutely, in +the knowledge that we do not control all their environment. I think +the solution of the difficulty is to teach the facts of sex in a +perfectly calm, unemotional, matter-of-fact manner, just as one +teaches the laws of digestion. When knowledge of evil is thrust upon +our child let us be sorry with him that those other children have +never been taught, and that they are doing their bodies such sad +mischief. But don't exaggerate it; don't be too shocked; don't condemn +the poor little sinners, who are also victims, too severely. Charity +toward wrong-doing is the best prophylactic against imitation. We +never feel the lure of a sin which grieves us in another; but often +the call of a sin which we too strongly condemn. Because the very +strength of the condemnation rouses our imaginations, is in itself an +emotion, and, since it is certainly not a loving one, must necessarily +be linked with all other unloving and therefore evil emotions. As far +as possible, let us keep feeling out of this subject, until such time +as the true and beautiful feeling of love between husband and wife +arises and uplifts it. + + + + +FATHERS + + +And now comes the editor of these lessons and accuses me of neglecting +the fathers! Nothing in this world could be farther from my thoughts. +Not only do I agree with him that "all ordinary children have fathers, +and it might be well to put in a paragraph;" but I am cheerfully +willing to write a whole book on the subject, provided that a mere +modicum of readers can be assured me. I fairly ache to talk to +fathers, having a really great ideal of them, and whenever a class of +them can be induced to take up a correspondence course I shall be glad +to conduct it. + +Joking aside, however, I truly feel that the saddest lack many of our +children have to suffer is the lack of fathers; and the saddest lack +our men have to suffer is the lack of children. So little are most men +awake to this subject that I am perfectly convinced that much of the +prevalent "race suicide" is due to their objections to a large family, +rather than to their wives'. Upon them comes the burden of support. +They get few of the joys which belong to children, and nearly all of +the woes. Seldom do they share the games of their offspring, or their +happy times; and almost always the worst difficulties are thrust upon +them for solution. Not that they often solve them! How can we expect +it? + +There is Edgar growing very untruthful and defiant. We have concealed +all the first stages of the disease for fear of bothering poor tired +papa. At last it reaches such a height that we can conceal it no +longer. We fling the desperate boy at the very head of the bewildered +father, and then have turns of bitter disappointment because the +remedies that are applied may be so much cruder, even, than our own. +Here is a boy who gets close to his father only to find the proximity +very uncomfortable; and a father who becomes acquainted with his son +only through the ugly revelations of his worst faults. + +Not but that the fathers are somewhat to blame, too. Without urging by +us, they ought, of course to take a spontaneous interest in the lives +for which they are responsible. They ought to, and they often do; but +the interest is sometimes ill-advised, and consequently unwelcome. +There are fathers whose interest is a most inconvenient thing. When +they are at home, they run everything, growl at everything, upset, as +like as not, all that the mother has been trying to do during the day. +I know wives who are distinctly glad to encourage their husbands in +the habit of lunching down-town, so that they can have a little room +for their own peculiar form of activity. And maybe we all have times +of sympathizing with the woman in this familiar story: There was a man +once who never left the house without a list of directions to his wife +as to how she should manage things during his absence. + +"Better have the children carry umbrellas this morning; it's going to +rain," said he, as he went out of the door. "Be sure to put on their +rubbers. And since the baby is so croupy I'd get out his winter +flannels, if I were you." + +"Yes, dear," said the patient wife. "Make your mind easy. I'll take +just as good care of them as if they were my own children." Of course +this is an extreme case. + +There are other fathers whose whole idea of the parental relation +seems to be indulgence. No system of discipline, however mild, can be +carried out when such a man wins the children's hearts and ruins their +dispositions. It is he, isn't it? (I don't quite recollect the tale) +who was sent, after death, to the warm regions, there to expiate his +many sins of omission. And his adoring children, who had been hauled +to heaven by the main strength, let us say, of their mother, found +that the only thing they could do for him was to call out celestial +hose company number one and ask them to play awhile upon the +overheated apartments of poor tired papa. + +The truth is--sit close and let no man hear what we say!--that these +fathers are much what we, the mothers, make them. If, under the +mistaken idea of saving father from all the worries of the children, +we hurry the youngsters off to bed before he comes home in +the evening, conceal our heart-burnings over them, do our +correspondence-school work in secret and solitude, meditate in the +same fashion over plans for their upbringing, talk to our neighbors +but never to him about the daily troubles, how can we expect any man +on earth, no matter how susceptible of later angelic growth, to become +a wise and devoted father? Tired or not, he is a father, not a mere +bread-winner. Whether he likes it at the moment or not, it is for +his soul's health for him to enter into the full life of his family, +including those problems which are at the very heart of it, after his +day of grinding, and very likely unloving, work at the office. Here +love enters to interpret, to soften, to make all principles live. Here +alone he can give himself to those gentler forms of judgment which +are necessary as much to the completion of his own character as to the +happiness and welfare of his wife and children. Someone has said that +we wrong our friends when we ask nothing of them; and certainly it is +true that we wrong our husbands when we do not demand big and splendid +things of them. + +That word demand troubles me a little. So many women demand--and +demand terribly! But what they demand is indulgence, sympathy, +interest--I think sometimes that they crave a man's utter absorption +in themselves much as a man craves strong drink. It is their form of +intoxication. Such demanding is not, of course, what I mean. Demand +nothing for yourself, beyond simple justice. Not love, for that flies +at the very sound of demand, and dies before nagging. But demand for +the man himself, call upon his nobler qualities, and don't let him +palm off on you his second-best. Many a man is loved and honored by +his business associates whose wife and children never catch a glimpse +of the finer side of him. Demand the exercise of these fine traits in +the home. Demand that he be a fine man in the eyes of his children as +in the eyes of his friends. Be sure that he will rise to the occasion +with a splendid sense of having, now, a home that is a home, of having +a wife who is wived to the man he likes best to be. + +This bids fair to be--as I knew it would, if once I permitted myself +to write at all on the subject--not a paragraph, but a whole essay--or +perhaps, if I did not check myself, a whole volume! But after all, +what I want to say is merely that as no child can be born without +a father, so he cannot be properly trained without a father's daily +assistance. And that, since most fathers come to the task even more +untrained than the mothers, some training must be undertaken. By whom? +By the mother. It is, I solemnly believe, your duty to go ahead a +little on this part of the journey, find out what ought to be done, +and teach, coax, induce your husband to co-operate with you in these +things. No one knows better than you do that he is only a boy at heart +after all--perhaps the very dearest boy of them all. This boy you have +to help while yet the other children are little--but be sure that, as +you teach him, so, all the time, will he teach you. Every principle +laid down in this book, above all others the principle of _freedom_, +will apply to him. He will take the lessons a trifle more reluctantly +but more lastingly than the younger boys; and in a little while you +will be envied of all your women friends because of the competency, +the reliability, the contentment of your children's father. + + + + +THE UNCONSCIOUS INFLUENCE + + +When all is said and done, it remains true that the finest, the +most subtle and penetrating influence in education is precisely +that education for which no rules can be laid down. It is the silent +influence of the motives which impel the persons who constantly +surround us. If we examine for a little our own childhood we see at +once that this is so. What are those canons of conduct by which we +judge others and even occasionally ourselves? Whence came that list +of _impossible_ things, those things that are so closed to us that we +cannot, even under great stress, of temptation, conceive ourselves as +yielding to them? + +There is an enlightening story of a young man, born and bred a +gentleman, who, by the way of fast living falls upon poverty. In the +hard pressure of his financial affairs he is about to commit suicide, +when suddenly he finds, in an empty cab, a roll of bills amounting to +some thousands of dollars. The circumstances are such that he knows +that he can, if he will, discover the owner; or, he can, without +fear of detection, keep the money himself. He makes up his mind, +deliberately, to keep it, and then, almost against his will, +subconsciously as it were, walks to the office of the man who lost the +money and restores it to him. + +Now, doubtless, in his downward career he had done many things which +judged by any absolute standard of morality were quite as wrong as the +keeping of that money would have been, but the fact remained that he +could not do that deed. Others, yes, but not that. He was a gentleman, +and gentlemen do not steal private property, whatever they may do +about public property. Yet probably, in all his life he had not once +been told not to steal--not one word had he been taught, openly, +on the subject. No one whom he knew stole. He was never expected +to steal. Stealing was a sin beyond the pale. So strong was this +unconscious, _but unvarying_ influence, that by it he was saved, in +the hour of extreme need, from even feeling the force of a temptation +that to a boy born and reared, say, in the slums, would have been +overwhelming. + +Now, considering such things, I take it that it behooves us, as +parents, to look closely at the sort of persons that we are, clear +inside of us. To examine, as if with the clear eyes of our own +children, waiting to be clouded by our sophistries, the motives from +which we habitually act in the small affairs of everyday life. Are +we influenced by fear of what the neighbors will say? Have we one +standard of courtesy for company times, and another for private +moments? If so, why? Are we self-indulgent about trifles? Are we +truthful in spirit as well as in letter? Do we permit ourselves to +cheat the street-car and the railroad company, teaching the child at +our side to sit low that he may ride for half-fare? Do we seek +justice in our bargaining, or are we sharp and self-considerate? Do we +practice democracy, or only talk it and wave the flag at it? + +And so on with a hundred other questions as to those small repeated +acts, which, springing from base motives, may put our unconscious +influence with our children in the already over-weighted down-side of +the scale; or met bravely and nobly, at some expense of convenience, +may help to enlighten the weight of inherited evil. Sometimes I wonder +how much of what we call inherited evil is the result not of heredity +at all, but of this sort of unconscious education. + + + + +ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS + + + + +THE SELF-DISTRUSTFUL CHILD. + + +"Your question is an excellent one. The answer to it is really +contained in your answer to the question about obedience. If a child +obey _laws_ not persons, and is steadily shown the reasonableness of +what is required of him, he comes to trust those laws and to trust +himself when he is conscious of obeying. But in addition to this +general training, it might be well to give a self-distrustful child +easy work to do--work well within his ability--then to praise him for +performing it; give him something a little harder, but still within +his reach, and so on, steadily calling on him for greater and greater +effort, but seeing to it that the effort is not too great and that it +bears visible fruit. He should never be allowed to be discouraged; and +when he droops over his work, some strong, friendly help may well he +given him. Sensitive, conscientious children, such as I imagine +you were, are sometimes overwhelmed in this way by parents, quite +unconscious of the pain they are giving by assigning tasks that are +beyond the strength and courage of the young toilers. + +"At the same time, much might be done by training the child's +attention from _product_ to _process_. You know the St. Louis Fair +does not aim to show what has been done, but _how_ things are done. +So a child--so you--can find happiness and intellectual uplift in +studying the laws at work under the simplest employment instead of +counting the number of things _finished_." + + + + +COMPANY WAYS + + +"A boy who is visiting us is so beset with rules and 'nagged' even +by glances and nudges, that I wonder that he is not bewildered and +rebellious. He seems good and pleasant and obedient (12 years old), +but I keep wondering why?" + +"Perhaps these were company ways inspired by an over-anxiety on his +mother's part that he should appear well. Oh, I have been so tempted +in this direction!--for of course people look at my children to see if +they prove the truth of my teachings, and as they are vigorous, free +and active youngsters, with decided characteristics they often do the +most unexpected and uncomfortable things! There must be good points +both in the boy himself--the boy you mention--and in his training +which offset the bad effects of the 'nagging' you notice--and possibly +the nagging itself may not be customary when he is at home. And +perhaps the mother knows that you are a close observer of children." + + + + +THEORY BEFORE PRACTICE + + +"There is only one danger in learning about the training of children +in advance of their advent, and that is the danger of being too sure +of ourselves--too systematic. The best training is that which is most +invisible--which leaves the child most in freedom. Almost the whole +duty of mothers is to provide the right environment and then just +love and enjoy the child as he moves and grows in it. But to do this +apparently easy thing requires so much simplicity and directness of +vision and most of us are so complex and confused that considerable +training and considerable effort are required to put us into the right +attitude. + +"For myself, soon after I took my kindergarten training, which I did +with three babies creeping and playing about the schoolroom, I read +George Meredith's 'Ordeal of Richard Feveril' (referred to on p. 33, +Part I) and felt that that book was an excellent counter-balance, +saving me, in the nick of time, from imposing any system, however +perfect, upon my children. Perhaps you will enjoy reading it, too." + + + + +THE EMOTIONAL APPEAL + + +"Doing right from love of parent may easily become too strong a factor +and too much reliance may be placed upon it. There are few dangers in +child training more real than the danger of over working the emotional +appeal. You do not wish your child to form the habit of working for +approval, do you?" + + + + +THE FOOD QUESTION + + +"The food question can be met in less direct ways with your young +baby. No food but that which is good for him need be seen. It is +seldom good to have so young a child come to the family table. It +is better he would have his own meals, so that he is satisfied with +proper foods before the other appears. Or, if he must eat when you do, +let him have a little low table to himself, spread with his own pretty +little dishes and his own chair, with perhaps a doll for companion or +playmate. From this level he cannot see or be tempted by the viands on +the large table; yet, if his table is near your chair you can easily +reach and serve him. It is a real torment to a young child to see +things he must not touch or eat, and it is a perfectly unnecessary +source of trouble. + +"My four children ate at such a low table till the oldest was eight +years old, when he was promoted to our table, and the others followed +in due order." + + + + +AIR CASTLES + + +"What a wonderful reader you were as a child! and certainly the books +you mention were far beyond you. Yet I can not quite agree that the +habit of air-castle building is pernicious. Indeed I believe in it. +It needs only to be balanced by practical effort, directed towards +furnishing an earthly foundation for the castle. Build, then, as high +and splendid as you like, and love them so hard that you are moved +to lay a few stones on the solid earth as a beginning of a more +substantial structure; and some day you may wake to find some of your +castles coming true. Those practical foundation stones underlying a +tremendous tower of idealism have a genuine magic power. Build all you +like about your baby, for instance. Think what things Mary pondered in +her heart. + +"No, I'm never worried about idealism except when it is contented with +itself and makes but little effort at outward realization. But the +fact that you are taking this course proves that you will work to +realize your ideals. + +"I don't think it very bad either to read to 'kill time.' Though if +you go on having a family, you won't have any time to kill in a very +little while. But do read on when you can, otherwise you may be shut +in, first you know, to too small a world, and a mother needs to draw +her own nourishment from _all_ the world, past and present." + + + + +DUTY TO ONESELF + + +"Yes, I should say you were distinctly precocious, and that you are +almost certainly suffering from the effects of that early brilliancy. +But the degree was not so great as to permanently injure you, +especially if you see what is the matter, and guard against repeating +the mistakes of your parents. I mean that you can now treat your own +body and mind and nerves as you wish they had treated them. Pretend +that you are your own little child, and deal with yourself tenderly +and gently, making allowances for the early strain to which you were +subjected. So few of us American women, with our alert minds, and our +Puritanic consciences, have the good sense and self-control to refrain +from driving ourselves; and if, as often happens, we have formed +the bad habit early in life, reform is truly difficult, but not +impossible. We can get the good of our disability by conscientiously +driving home the principle that in order to 'love others as ourselves' +we must learn to _love ourselves as we love others_. We have literally +no right to be unreasonably exacting toward ourselves,--but perhaps I +am taking too much upon myself by preaching outside the realm of child +study." + + + + +THE MOTHER AND THE TEACHER + + +"Your paper has been intensely interesting to me. I have always held +that a true teacher was really a mother, though of a very large flock, +just as a true mother is really a teacher, though of a very small +school. The two points of view complete each other and I doubt if +either mother or teacher can see truly without the other. They tell +us, you know, that our two eyes, with their slight divergence of +position, are necessary to make us, see things as having more than one +side; and the mother and the teacher, one seeing the individual child, +the other the child as the member of the race, need each other to see +the child as the complex, many-sided individual he really is. + +"In your school, do you manage to get the mothers to co-operate? Here, +I am trying to get near my children's teachers. They try, too; but +it is not altogether easy for any of us. We need some common meeting +ground--some neutral activity which we could share. If you have any +suggestions, I shall be glad to have them. Of course, I visit school +and the teachers visit me, and we are friendly in an arm's length +sort of fashion. That is largely because they believe in corporal +punishment and practice it freely and it is hard for us to look +straight at each other over this disagreement." + + + + +CORPORAL PUNISHMENT. + + +To the Matron of a Girls' Orphan Asylum + +"Now to the specific questions you ask. My answers must, of course, be +based upon general principles--the special application, often so +very difficult a matter, must be left to you. To begin with corporal +punishment. You say you are 'personally opposed, but that your early +training and the literal interpretation of Solomon's rod keep you +undecided.' Surely your own comment later shows that part, at least, +of the influence of your early training was _against_ corporal +punishment, because you saw and felt its evils in yourself. Such +early training may have made you unapt in thinking of other means +of discipline; but it can hardly have made you think of corporal +punishment as _right_. + +"And how can anyone take Solomon's rod any more literally than she +does the Savior's cross? We are bid, on a higher authority than +Solomon's proverbs, to take up our cross and follow Him. This we all +interpret figuratively. Would you dream, for instance, of binding +heavy crosses of wood upon the backs of your children because you felt +yourselves so enjoined in the literal sense of the Scriptures? Why, +then, take the rod literally? It is as clearly used to designate any +form of orderly discipline as the cross is used to designate endurance +of necessary sorrows. 'The letter killeth, but the spirit maketh +alive.' + +"As to your next question about quick results, I must recognize that +you are in a most difficult position. For not the best conceivable +intentions, nor the highest wisdom, can make the unnatural conditions +you have to meet, as good as natural ones. In any asylum many purely +artificial requirements must be made to meet the artificial situation. +Time and space, those temporal appearances, grow to be menacing +monsters, take to themselves the chief realities. Nevertheless, +_so far as you are able_, you surely want to do the natural, right, +unforced thing. And with each successful effort will come fresh wisdom +and fresh strength for the next. + +"Let me suggest, in the case you mention, of insolence, that three +practical courses are open to you: one to send or lead the child +quietly from the room, with the least aggressiveness possible, so as +not further to excite her opposition, and to keep her apart from the +rest until she is sufficiently anxious for society to be willing to +make an effort to deserve it; or two, to do nothing, permitting a +large and eloquent silence to accentuate the rebellious words; or +three, to call for the condemnation of the child's mates. Speaking to +one or two whose response you are sure of first, ask each one present +for a expression of opinion. This is so severe a punishment that it +ought not often to be invoked; but it is deadly sure." + + + + +STEALING + + +"The question of honesty is, indeed, most difficult. I do not think it +would lower the standard of morality to _assume_ honesty, as the thing +you expected to find, to accept almost any other explanation, to agree +with the whole body of children that dishonesty was so much the fault +of dreadfully poor people who had nothing unless they stole it, that +it could not be their fault, who had so much--couldn't be the fault of +anyone who was well brought up as they were. Emphasize, in story and +side allusion, at all sorts of odd moments when no concrete desire +called away the children's minds, the fact that honesty is to be +expected everywhere, except among terribly unfortunate people--of +course assuming that they with their good shelter and good schooling +are among the fortunate ones. Then you will give each child not only +plenty of everything, but things individualized, easily distinguished, +and a place to put them in. I've often thought that the habit of +buying things wholesale--so many dolls, all exactly alike, so many +yards of calico for dresses, all exactly alike, leads, in institutions +like yours, to a vague conception of private property, and even +of individuality itself. If some room could be allowed for free +choice--the children be allowed to buy their own calicoes, within a +given price, or to choose the trimmings or style, etc. I feel sure the +result would be a sturdier self-respect and a greater sense of that +difference between individuals which needs emphasizing just as much as +does the solidarity of individuals." + + + + +BIBLIOGRAPHY + + + +BOOKS FOR MOTHERS + + +Fundamental Books (Philosophy of Education--Pedagogy) + + + The Science of Rights ($5.00, postage 30c), J.G. Fichte. + + Education of Man ($1.50, postage 12c), Friedrich Froebel. + + Mottoes and Commentaries of Froebel's Mother Play ($1.50, + postage 14c), translated by Susan E. Blow. + + The Part Played by Infancy in the Evolution of Man ($2.00, + postage 15c), from "A Century of Science," article by John + Fiske. + + How Gertrude Teaches Her Children ($1.50, postage 14c), + Pestalozzi. + + Levana, Bohn Library ($1.00, postage 12c), Jean Paul Richter. + + Education ($1.25, postage 12c), Herbert Spencer. + + + + +General Books on Education + + + Household Education ($1.25, postage 10c), Harriet Martineau. + + Bits of Talk About Home Matters ($1.25, Postage 10c), H.H. + Jackson. + + Biography of a Baby ($1.50, postage 12c), Millicent Shinn. + + Study of Child Nature ($1.00, postage 10c), Elizabeth + Harrison. + + Two Children of the Foot Hills ($1.25, postage 10c), Elizabeth + Harrison. + + The Moral Instruction of Children ($1.50, postage 14c), Felix + Adler. + + The Children of the Future ($1.00, postage 10c), Nora A. + Smith. + + Children's Rights ($1.00, postage 10c), Kate Douglas Wiggin + and Nora A. Smith. + + Republic of Childhood (3 vols., each $1.00; postage 10c), Kate + Douglas Wiggin and Nora A. Smith. + + Educational Reformers ($1.50, postage 14c), Quick. + + Lectures to Kindergartners ($1.00, postage 10c), Elizabeth + Peabody. + + The Place of the Story in Early Education ($0.50, postage 6c), + Sara E. Wiltse. + + Children's Ways ($1.25, postage 10c), Sully. + + Kindergarten and Child Culture Papers ($3.50, postage 20c), + Barnard. + + Adolescence (2 vols., $7.50; postage 56c), G. Stanley Hall. + + + + +Psychology and Advanced + + + The Mind of the Child (2 vols., each $1.50, postage 10c), W. + Preyer. + + The Intellectual and Moral Development of the Child ($1.50, + postage 12c), G. Compayre. + + Child Study ($1.25, postage 14c), Amy Tanner. + + The Story of the Mind ($0.35, postage 6c), J. Mark Baldwin. + + Psychology (Briefer Course, $1.60; postage 16c. Advanced + Course, 2 vols., $4.80; postage 44c), James. + + School and Society ($1.00, postage 10c), John Dewey. + + Emile ($0.90, postage 8c), Rousseau. + + Pedagogics of the Kindergarten ($1.50, postage 12c), Froebel. + + Education by Development ($1.50, postage 12c), Froebel. + + Kindergarten and Child Culture Papers, Henry Barnard. + + Letters to a Mother on the Philosophy of Froebel ($1.50, + postage 12c), Blow. + + Studies of Childhood ($2.50, postage 20c), Sully. + + Mental Development ($1.75, postage 16c), Baldwin. + + Education of Central Nervous System ($1.00, postage 16c), + Halleck. + + Child Observations, Imitative Symbolic Education ($1.50, + postage 12c), Blow. + + Interest as Related to Will ($0.25, postage 6c), Dewey. + + + + +Religious Training + + + Christian Nurture ($1.25, postage 12c), Horace Bushnell. + + On Holy Ground ($3.00, Postage 30c), W.L. Worcester. + + The Psychology of Religion ($1.50, postage 14c), E.D. + Starbuck. + + + + +The Sex Question + + + The Song of Life ($1.25, postage 12c), Margaret Morley. + + What a Young Boy Ought to Know ($1.00, postage 10c), Rev. + Sylvanus Stall. + + What a Young Girl Ought to Know ($1.00, postage 10c), Rev. + Sylvanus Stall. + + Duties of Parents to Children in Regard to Sex ($0.40, postage + 4c), Rev. Wm. L. Worcester. + + How to Tell the Story of Reproduction to Children, Pamphlet + 5c; order from Mothers' Union, 3408 Harrison Street, Kansas + city, Mo. + + + + +Of General Interest to Mothers + + + Wilhelm Meister ($1.00, postage 14c), Goethe. + + Story of My Life ($1.50, postage 14c), Helen Keller. + + The Ordeal of Richard Feveril ($1.50, postage 14c), George + Meredith. + + Up from Slavery ($1.50, postage 14c), Booker T. Washington. + + Emmy Lou ($1.50, Postage 14c), Mrs. George Madden Marten. + + The Golden Age ($1.00, postage 10c), Kenneth Grahame. + + Dream Days ($1.00, postage 10c), Kenneth Grahame. + + In the Morning Glow ($1.25, Postage 12c), Roy Rolf Gilson. + + Man and His Handiwork, Wood. + + Primitive Industry ($5.00, postage 40c), Abbott. + + Every Day Essays ($1.25, postage 10c), Marion Foster + Washburne. + + Family Secrets ($1.25, postage 10c), Marion Foster Washburne. + + + + +BOOKS FOR CHILDREN + + +Fairy Tales + + + Grimm's Fairy Tales ($0.50, postage 14c). + + Andrew Lang's Green, Yellow, Blue and Red Fairy Books (each + $0.50, postage 14c). + + Hans Christian Andersen's Fairy Tales ($0.50, portage 14c). + + Tanglewood Tales ($0.75, postage 14c), Hawthorne. + + The Wonder Book ($0.75, postage 12c), Hawthorne. + + Old Fashioned Fairy Tales by Tom Hood, retold by Marion Foster + Washburne. (In press.) + + Adventures of a Brownie, by Dinah Maria Mulock Craik. Edited + by Marion Foster Washburne. (In press.) + + + + +A Few Books for Various Ages + + + Water Babies ($0.75, postage 12c), Charles Kingsley. + + At the Back of the North Wind ($0.75, postage 12c), George + McDonald. + + Little Lame Price ($0.50, postage 8c), Dinah Maria Mulock + Craik. + + In the Child World ($2.00, postage 16c), Emilie Poulson. + + Nature Myths ($0.35, postage 6c), Flora J. Cooke. + + Sharp Eyes ($2.50, postage 18c), Gibson. + + Stories Mother Nature Told ($0.50, postage 6c), Jane Andrew. + + Jungle Books (2 vols, each $1.50; postage 16c), Kipling. + + Just-So Stories ($1.20, postage 12c), Kipling. + + + + +Music for Children + + + Finger Plays ($1.25, postage 12c), Emilie Poulson. + + Fifty Children's Songs, Reinecke. + + Songs of the Child World (2 vols., each $1.00; postage 12c), + Gaynor. + + Songs for the Children (2 vols., each $1.25; postage 14c), + Eleanor Smith. + + 30 Selected Studies (Instrumental), ($1.50, postage 14c), + Heller. + + + + +Pictures for Children + + + Detaille Prints, Boutet de Monvil, Joan of Arc. + + Caldecott: Picture Books (4 vols., each $1.25; postage 12c). + + Walter Crane: Picture Books ($1.25, postage 10c). + + Colored illustrations cut from magazines, notably those drawn + by Howard Pyle, Elizabeth Shippen Greene, and Jessie Wilcox + Smith. + + See articles in "Craftsman" for December, 1904, February and + April, 1905, "Decorations for School Room and Nursery." + + _Note_.--Books in the above list may be purchased through the + American School of Home Economics at the prices given. Members + of the School will receive students' discount. + + + + +Program for Supplemental Work + +on the + +STUDY OF CHILD LIFE + +By Marion Foster Washburne. + + + + +MEETING I + +Infancy. (Study pages 3-25) + + +(a) Its Meaning. See Fiske on "The Part Played by Infancy in the +Evolution of Man" in "A Century of Science" (16c). + +(b) General Laws of Progression. See Millicent Shinn's "Biography of +a Baby" (12c), and W. Preyer's "The Mind of the Child" (20c). Give +resumes of these two books. + +(c) Practical Conclusions. Hold Experience Meeting to conclude +afternoon. + + + + +MEETING II + +Faults and Their Remedies. (Study pages 26-57) + + +(a) General Principles of Moral Training. Read Herbert Spencer on +"Education" (12c), chapter on "Punishment"; also call for quotations +from H.H. Jackson's "Bits of Talk About Home Matters" (10c). + +(b) Corporal Punishment. Why It Is Wrong. + +(c) Positive Versus Negative Moral Training. Read extracts from +Froebel's "Education of Man" (12c), and Richter's "Levana" (12c), Kate +Douglas Wiggin's "Children's Rights" (10c), and Elizabeth Harrison's +"Study of Child Nature" (10c), are easier and pleasanter reading, +sound, but less fundamental. Choice may be made between these two sets +of books, according to conditions. + +(Select answer to test questions on Part I and send them to the +School.) + + + + +MEETING III + +Character Building. (Study pages 59-75) + + +Read extracts from Froebel, Pestalozzi, and Harriet Martineau. + +(a) From Froebel to show general principles (12c). + +(b) From Pestalozzi (14c) or if that is not available, from "Mottoes +and Commentaries on Froebel's Mother-Play" (14c), to show ideal +application of these general principles. + +(c) From Harriet Martineau's "Household Education" (10c), "Children's +Rights" (10c), to show actual application of these general principles. +Experience meeting. + + + + +MEETING IV + +Educational Value of Play and Occupations. (Study pages 78-99) + + +(a) General Principles--Quote authorities from past to present. Read +from "Education of Man" (12c) and "Mother Play" (14c). + +(b) Representative and Symbolic Plays. See "Education of Man" (12c) +and "Letters to a Mother on the Philosophy of Froebel" (12c). Dancing +and Drama from Richter's "Levana" (12c). + +(c) Nature's Playthings (Earth, Air, Fire, and Water). Ask members +of class to describe plays of their own childhood and tell what they +meant to them. + +(Select answer to test questions on Part II.) + + + + +MEETING V + +Art and Literature in Child Life. (Study pages 100-112) + + +Ask members to bring good pictures and story-books, thus making +exhibit. + +(a) Place of Pictures in Children's Lives. Of Color. Of Modeling. +Influence of artistic surroundings. If anyone knows of a model nursery +or schoolroom, let her describe it. Are drawing and modeling at school +"fads" or living bases for educational processes? See Dewey on "The +School and Society" (10c). + +(b) Place of fiction in education. See "The Place of the Story in +Early Education" (6c). + +(c) Accomplishments. Practical discussion of the advantages and +disadvantages of music lessons, the languages, and other work out of +school. See "Adolescence," by G. Stanley Hall. + + + + +MEETING VI + +Social and Religious Training. (Study pages 114-140 and Supplement) + + +(a) The Question of Associations. See Dewey's "The School and Society" +(10c), "The Republic of Childhood" (30c). Quote "Up from Slavery" +(14c) and "Story of My Life" (14c), to show that the humblest +companions may sometimes be the most desirable. + +(b) The New Education. See catalogues of the Francis W. Parker School, +Chicago, Ill., (4c); The Elementary School, University of Chicago, +(6c); State Normal School, Hyannis, Mass., (4c); "School Gardens," +Bulletin No. 160, Office of Experiment Stations, Department of +Agriculture, Washington, D.C., (2c). + +(c) The Sex Question. Where are the foundations of morality +laid--church, school, home, or street? Read entire, "Duties of Parents +to Children in Regard to Sex" (pamphlet, 5c). + +(d) Religious Training. Read from "Christian Nurture" (12c) and +"Psychology of Religion" (14c). (Select answer to test questions on +Part III.) + + + +For more extended program, book lists for mothers, children's book +list, loan papers, send to the National Congress of Mothers, Mrs. E.C. +Grice, Corresponding Secretary, 3308 Arch Street, Philadelphia, Pa. +Price, 10 cents each. See also "The Child in Home, School, and State," +with address by President Roosevelt.--Report of the N.C.M. for 1905. +Price, 50c. + +NOTE.--When reference books mentioned in the foregoing program are not +available from public libraries, they may be borrowed of the A.S.H.E. +for the cost of postage indicated in parentheses. Three books may be +borrowed at one time by a class, one by an individual. For class work, +a book may be kept for two weeks, or longer, if there is no other call +for it. Send stamps with requests, which should be made several weeks +in advance to avoid disappointment. + + + + +INDEX + + Abnormal laziness, 47 + Abstract studies, 119 + Accomplishments and studies, 119 + showy, 123 + Accounts, personal, 129 + Adolescence, religious excitability, 136 + Adult's world, 24 + Advantage of positive commands, 61 + Affections, cultivation of, 45 + Aims of kindergarten, 45 + Air as a plaything, 82 + castles, 163 + Allowance, regular, 127 + Alternate growth of children, 14 + Anaemia, 47 + Answer honest questions, 71 + Answers to questions, 160 + Application of principles, 141 + Aristotle's teachings, 76 + Art and literature in child life, 101 + and nature, 112 + classic, 102 + influence of, 101 + plastic, 104 + Associates, children's, 113 + exclusive, 114 + + Baby-jumpers, 14 + Bandaging the abdomen, 21 + Beginnings of will, 7 + Bible, children's, 139 + Bible lessons made real, 139 + study, 138 + Bonfires, 85 + Books for children, 111, 170 + Bottle-fed babies, 25 + Breaking the will, 29 + Busy work, 97 + + Care of pets, 45 + Cause of impudence, 51 + of irritability and nervousness, 35 + of rupture, 21 + of temper, 35 + Character building, rules in, 74 + Children, other people's, 145 + Children's associates, 113 + Bible, 139 + clubs, value of, 45 + hour, the, 118 + Child's share in family republic, 65 + world, 24 + Classic art, 102 + Clay modeling, 80 + Climbing, 13 + Clothing, proper, 20 + Color, 102 + Colored pictures, 104 + Commands, disagreeable, 37 + positive, 35 + useless, 11 + Company ways, 161 + Conclusion, 140 + Condition at birth, 3 + Consciousness of self, 6 + Corporal punishment, 54, 166 + Correlation of studies, 121 + Correspondence training, 142 + Costume model, 21 + Creeping, 12 + Cultivate affections, 45 + Cutting and pasting, 99 + + Daily outing, 18 + Dancing for children, 87 + Danger of forcing, 12 + Dangerous pastimes, 83 + Darwin's observations, 9 + Depravity, original, 61 + Development of intellect, 126 + premature, 3 + Diagram of Gertrude suit, 23 + Diet, simple, 25 + Disadvantages of Sunday Schools, 134 + Disagreeable commands, 37 + Discipline, educative, 57 + Disobedience, 30 + real, 33 + Double standard of morality, 53 + Double standards, 158 + Drama, 107 + Dramatic games, 107 + plays, 87 + Drawing and painting, 99 + Dress for play, 79 + Dress, proper, 20 + Duties, systematized, 37 + Duty to one's self, 164 + + Education, the new, 120 + scientific, 121 + Educational beginnings, 5 + exercises, 5 + value of play, 77 + Educative discipline, 57 + Effect of Sunday school teaching, 132 + Emergencies, 30 + Enthusiasm, religious, 135 + "Enthusiasms", 124 + Essentials of play, 78 + Evasive lying, 39 + Evils, permanent, 28 + resulting from corporal punishment, 55 + Example, bad, 52 + courteous, 54 + evil, 115 + versus precept, 34, 68 + Exclusive associates, 114 + + Fairy tales, 109 + Family republic, 64 + Fathers, 152 + responsibilities of, 154 + Fatigue harmful to children, 94 + Faults and their remedies, 26 + real, 28 + temporary, 24 + Fear versus love, 55 + Feeding, indiscriminate, 25 + Financial training, 126 + Fire as a plaything, 84 + First grasping, 8 + Fiske's doctrine of right, 64 + teachings, 15 + Food, natural, 24 + question, 162 + undesired, 11 + Forcing, danger of, 12 + Fresh air, 18 + Froebel's great motto, 70 + philosophy, 59 + Fundamental principles of the new education, 59 + + Games, dramatic, 107 + Gardens for children, 81 + Gertrude suit, 21 + Goodness, original, 61 + Goodness, negative, 32 + Grasping, 9, 11 + Growth of children, 14 + of will, 8 + + Helping, 93 + mother, 91 + Home kindergarten, 90 + How the child develops, 3 + + Imagination and sympathy, 110 + Imitativeness, instinct of, 32 + Imaginative lying, 39 + Immature judgment, 30 + Impudence, cause of, 51 + Incomplete development at birth, 4 + Indiscriminate feeding, 25 + punishment, 55 + Industry, willing, 94 + Influence of art, 101 + Inherited crookedness, 41 + disposition, 38 + Instinct, 9 + of imitativeness, 32 + Instrumental music, 107 + Intellect, development of, 126 + Irritability, cause of, 35 + + Jealousy, 42 + Justice and love in the family, 42 + + Kindergarten, aims of, 45 + as a remedy for selfishness, 44 + methods, 62 + methods in the home, 90 + social advantages of, 113 + Knit garments, 22 + + Law-making habit, 70 + Laziness, 46 + Liberty, 33, 64 + Limitations of words, 67 + Literature, 108 + and art, 101 + Looking, 9 + Love of work, 93 + versus fear, 55 + Low voice commands, 66 + Lungs, weak, 21 + Luther's teachings, 76 + Lying, evasive, 39 + imaginative, 39 + kinds of, 38 + politic, 40 + + Magazines for children, 111 + Magic lantern, 85 + Massage, 5 + Meaning of righteousness, 72 + Model costume, 21 + Modeling apron, 81 + clay, 80 + Monotony undesirable, 95 + Moral precocity, 73 + training, object of, 60 + Mother and teacher, 165 + Mother, teaching, 92 + Mothers as teachers, 134 + Mud pies, 80 + Muscular development, 5 + Music for children, 106 + instrumental, 107 + study of, 124 + Mystery of sex, 72 + + Nagging, 96 + Naps, 20 + Natural food, 24 + punishment, 29 + talent, 124 + Nature study, 112 + Negative goodness, 32 + Neighbors' opinions, 63 + Nervousness, cause of, 35 + New education, the, 120 + principles of, 59 + Normal child, 12 + Nursery requisites, 16 + + Object of moral training, 60 + of punishment, 40 + Objection to pinning blanket, 21 + Obligation of truthfulness, 38 + Occupations, 90 + Only child, the, 44 + Opportunity for growth, 16 + Order of development, 9 + Other people's children, 145 + Outing, daily, 18 + + Painting and drawing, 99 + Parental indulgence, 154 + vanity, 125 + Pasting and cutting, 99 + Permanent evils, 28 + Personal accounts, 129 + Pets, care of, 45 + Physical cause of laziness, 46 + culture, 123 + culture records, 25 + Philosophy, Froebel's, 59 + Pictures, colored, 104 + Pinning blanket, objection to, 21 + Plastic art, 104 + Play, 76 + educational value of, 77 + essentials of, 78 + with the limbs, 5 + Politeness to children, 69 + Politic lie, the, 40 + Positive commands, 35, 61 + Precautions to prevent attacks of temper, 37 + with fire, 84 + Precocity, 15 + moral, 73 + Premature development, 3 + Preyer's record, 11, 19 + Principles, application of, 141 + Prohibitions, useless, 34 + Punishment, corporal, 54 + indiscriminate, 55 + natural, 29 + object of, 40 + self, 34 + + Questions, answers to, 160 + Quick temper, 35 + + Real disobedience, 33 + faults, 28 + Reflex grasping, 7 + Regular allowance, 127 + Religious enthusiasm, 135 + excitability of adolescence, 136 + training, 131 + Remedy for fits of temper, 36 + Responsibilities of fathers, 154 + Restrictions of dress, 79 + Rhythmic movements, 86 + Richter's views, 28, 87 + Right doing, 28 + made easy, 63 + Righteousness, meaning of, 72 + Right material for play, 79 + Rights of others, 64 + Rules in character building, 74 + Rupture, cause of, 21 + + Sand piles, 80 + Scientific education, 121 + Self-distrustful child, 160 + Selfishness, 43 + Self-mastery, 29 + punishment, 34 + Sewing, 98 + Sex, 71 + mystery of, 72 + question, the, 149 + Showy accomplishments, 123 + Simple diet, 25 + Sleep, sufficient, 19 + Social advantages of kindergarten, 113 + Soft spot in head, 4 + Solitude remedy for temper, 36 + Songs for children, 86 + Spencer's view, 29 + Spending foolishly, 128 + wisely, 127 + Standard of morality, double, 53 + Standing, 14 + Stanley Hall's views, 137 + Stealing, 168 + Stockinet for undergarments, 22 + Story telling, 93 + Studies, abstract, 119 + and accomplishments,119 + correlation of, 121 + Success in child training, 143 + Sullenness, 38 + Sunday school, disadvantage of, 134 + effect of, 132 + teachers, 131 + Sunlight necessary for growth, 16 + Sympathy and imagination, 110 + in play, 79 + Symptoms of anaemia, 47 + Systematized duties, 37 + + Talent, natural, 124 + Teaching mother, 92 + Telling stories, 93 + Temperament, emotional, 42 + Temperature of nursery, 18 + Temper, cause of, 35 + precautions to prevent attacks of, 37 + Temporary faults, 24 + Theater, 108 + Theory before practice, 161 + Thermometer in nursery, 18 + Throwing, 10 + Tiedemann's teachings, 35 + Touching forbidden things, 11 + Toys, 83, 88, 89 + Training, financial, 126 + for parents, 142 + religious, 131 + Truthfulness, obligations of, 38 + + Unconscious influence, 157 + Underclothing, 22 + Undesired food, 11 + Undisciplined will, 30 + Unresponsiveness, 38 + Unsought advice, 148 + Untidiness, its remedy, 49 + Useless commands, 11 + prohibitions, 34 + + Value of children's clubs, 45 + Vanity, parental, 125 + Variable periods of growth, 15 + Ventilation, means of, 18 + + Walking, 14 + Water as a plaything, 82 + colors, 99 + Weak lungs, 21 + Weight at birth, 4 + Wholesome surroundings, 16 + Will, beginnings of, 7 + breaking, the, 29 + growth of, 8 + Willful child, 34 + Willing industry, 94 + Will, undisciplined, 30 + Work, beautiful, 96 + love of, 93 + Wrappings, extra, 21 + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT 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