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diff --git a/old/13444.txt b/old/13444.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..282f1de --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13444.txt @@ -0,0 +1,18498 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Searchlights on Health +by B. G. Jefferis and J. L. Nichols + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Searchlights on Health + The Science of Eugenics + +Author: B. G. Jefferis and J. L. Nichols + +Release Date: September 12, 2004 [EBook #13444] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SEARCHLIGHTS ON HEALTH *** + + + + +Produced by Juliet Sutherland, Alicia Williams, and the Online +Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + + + +SEARCHLIGHTS ON HEALTH + +THE SCIENCE OF EUGENICS + + + * * * * * + + A Guide to Purity and Physical Manhood + Advice to Maiden, Wife and Mother + Love, Courtship, and Marriage + + + * * * * * + + +By + +PROF. B.G. JEFFERIS, M.D., PH. D. + +and + +J.L. NICOLS, A.M. + + + +_With Excerpts from Well-Known Authorities_ + + REV. LEONARD DAWSON + DR. M.J. SAVAGE + REV. H.R. HAWEIS + DR. PANCOAST + DR. STALL + DR. J.F. SCOTT + DR. GEORGE NAPHEYS + DR. STOCKHAM + DR. T.D. NICHOLLS + DR. R.L. DUGDALE + DR. JOHN COWAN + DR. M.L. HOLBROOK + + * * * * * + + Published by + J.L. NICHOLS & COMPANY + Naperville, Illinois, U.S.A. + 1920 + AGENTS WANTED + + +"Vice has no friend like the prejudice which claims to be +virtue."--_Lord Lytton._ + + +"When the judgment's weak, the prejudice is strong."--_Kate O'Hare._ + + +"It is the first right of every child to be well born." + + + * * * * * + + +COPYRIGHTED 1919, + +BY + +J.L. NICHOLS & CO. + +OVER 1,000,000 COPIES SOLD + + + * * * * * + +TABLE OF CONTENTS. + +[Transcriber's Note: This Table of Contents does not appear in +the original book. It has been added to this document for ease of +navigation.] + + Knowledge is Safety, page 3 + The Beginning of Life, page 5 + Health a Duty, page 7 + Value of Reputation, page 9 + Influence of Associates, page 11 + Self-Control, page 12 + Habit, page 17 + A Good Name, page 18 + The Mother's Influence, page 21 + Home Power, page 23 + To Young Women, page 26 + Influence of Female Character, page 30 + Personal Purity, page 31 + How To Write All Kinds of Letters, page 34 + How To Write a Love Letter, page 37 + Forms of Social Letters, page 39 + Letter Writing, page 43 + Forms of Love Letters, page 44 + Hints and Helps on Good Behavior at All Times and at All Places, page 49 + A Complete Etiquette in a Few Practical Rules, page 52 + Etiquette of Calls, page 56 + Etiquette in Your Speech, page 57 + Etiquette of Dress and Habits, page 58 + Etiquette on the Street, page 59 + Etiquette Between Sexes, page 60 + Practical Rules on Table Manners, page 63 + Social Duties, page 65 + Politeness, page 70 + Influence of Good Character, page 73 + Family Government, page 76 + Conversation, page 79 + The Toilet or The Care of the Person, page 84 + A Young Man's Personal Appearance, page 86 + Dress, page 88 + Beauty, page 91 + Sensible Helps to Beauty, page 95 + How to Keep the Bloom and Grace of Youth, page 97 + Form and Deformity, page 98 + How to Determine a Perfect Human Figure, page 99 + The History, Mystery, Benefits and Injuries of the Corset, page 101 + Tight-Lacing, page 104 + The Care of the Hair, page 107 + How to Cure Pimples or Other Facial Eruptions, page 111 + Black-Heads and Flesh Worms, page 112 + Love, page 114 + The Power and Peculiarities of Love, page 118 + Amativeness or Connubial Love, page 122 + Love and Common Sense, page 123 + What Women Love in Men, page 126 + What Men Love in Women, page 129 + History of Marriage, page 132 + Marriage, page 134 + The Advantages of Wedlock, page 135 + The Disadvantages of Celibacy, page 138 + Old Maids, page 140 + When and Whom to Marry, page 144 + Choose Intellectually--Love Afterward, page 148 + Love-Spats, page 154 + A Broken Heart, page 159 + Former Customs and Peculiarities Among Men, page 162 + Sensible Hints in Choosing a Partner, page 165 + Safe Hints, page 170 + Marriage Securities, page 174 + Women Who Make the Best Wives, page 178 + Adaptation, Conjugal Affection, and Fatal Errors, page 181 + First Love, Desertion and Divorce, page 185 + Flirting and Its Dangers, page 190 + A Word to Maidens, page 192 + Popping the Question, page 194 + The Wedding, page 200 + Advice to Newly Married Couples, page 201 + Sexual Proprieties and Improprieties, page 206 + How to Perpetuate the Honey-Moon, page 209 + How to Be a Good Wife, page 210 + How to Be a Good Husband, page 211 + Cause of Family Troubles, page 217 + Jealousy--Its Cause and Cure, page 219 + The Improvement of Offspring, page 222 + Too Many Children, page 229 + Small Families and the Improvement of the Race, page 232 + The Generative Organs, page 234 + The Female Sexual Organs, page 235 + The Mysteries of the Formation of Life, page 238 + Conception--Its Limitations, page 240 + Prenatal Influences, page 244 + Vaginal Cleanliness, page 246 + Impotence and Sterility, page 248 + Producing Boys or Girls at Will, page 252 + Abortion or Miscarriage, page 253 + The Murder of Innocents, page 256 + The Unwelcome Child, page 258 + Health and Disease, page 263 + Preparation for Maternity, page 266 + Impregnation, page 269 + Signs and Symptoms of Pregnancy, page 270 + Diseases of Pregnancy, page 274 + Morning Sickness, page 282 + Relation of Husband and Wife During Pregnancy, page 283 + A Private Word to the Expectant Mother, page 284 + Shall Pregnant Women Work?, page 285 + Words for Young Mothers, page 286 + How to Have Beautiful Children, page 288 + Education of the Child in the Womb, page 292 + How to Calculate the Time of Expected Labor, page 295 + The Signs and Symptoms of Labor, page 297 + Special Safeguards in Confinement, page 299 + Where Did the Baby Come From?, page 303 + Child Bearing Without Pain, page 304 + Solemn Lessons for Parents, page 312 + Ten Health Rules for Babies Cut Death Rate in Two, page 314 + The Care of New-Born Infants, page 315 + Nursing, page 317 + Infantile Convulsions, page 319 + Feeding Infants, page 319 + Pains and Ills in Nursing, page 321 + Home Lessons in Nursing Sick Children, page 325 + A Table for Feeding a Baby on Modified Milk, page 329 + Nursing [Intervals Table], page 329 + Schedule for Feeding Healthy Infants During First Year [Table], page 329 + How to Keep a Baby Well, page 330 + How to Preserve the Health and Life of Your Infant During + Hot Weather, page 332 + Infant Teething, page 336 + Home Treatments for the Diseases of Infants and Children, page 338 + Diseases of Women, page 348 + Falling of the Womb, page 350 + Menstruation, page 351 + Celebrated Prescriptions for All Diseases and How to Use Them, page 354 + How to Cure Apoplexy, Bad Breath and Quinsy, page 365 + Sensible Rules for the Nurse, page 366 + Longevity, page 367 + How to Apply and Use Hot Water in All Diseases, page 368 + Practical Rules for Bathing, page 371 + All the Different Kinds of Baths and How to Prepare Them, page 372 + Digestibility of Food, page 374 + How to Cook for the Sick, page 375 + Save the Girls, page 380 + Save the Boys, page 390 + The Inhumanities of Parents, page 396 + Chastity and Purity of Chracter, page 400 + Exciting the Passions in Children, page 404 + Puberty, Virility, and Hygenic Laws, page 406 + Our Secret Sins, page 409 + Physical and Moral Degeneracy, page 414 + Immorality, Disease, and Death, page 416 + Poisonous Literature and Bad Pictures, page 421 + Startling Sins, page 423 + The Prostitution of Men, page 427 + The Road to Shame, page 430 + The Curse of Manhood, page 433 + A Private Talk to Young Men, page 437 + Remedies for the Social Evil, page 440 + The Selfish Slaves of Doses of Disease and Death, page 441 + Object Lessons of the Effects of Alcohol and Smoking, page 445 + The Destructive Effects of Cigarette Smoking, page 449 + The Dangerous Vices, page 451 + Nocturnal Emissions, page 457 + Lost Manhood Restored, page 459 + Manhood Wrecked and Rescued, page 461 + The Curse and Consequence of Secret Diseases, page 464 + Animal Magnetism, page 470 + How to Read Character, page 473 + Twilight Sleep, page 479 + Painless Childbirth, page 479 + The Diseases of Women, page 480 + Remedies for Diseases of Women, page 483 + Alphabetical Index, page 486 + + + * * * * * + +HE STUMBLETH NOT, BECAUSE HE SEETH THE LIGHT. + +[Illustration: "Search Me. Oh Thou Great Creator."] + + + * * * * * + +KNOWLEDGE IS SAFETY. + + +1. The old maxim, that "Knowledge is power," is a true one, but there +is still a greater truth: "KNOWLEDGE IS SAFETY." Safety amid physical +ills that beset mankind, and safety amid the moral pitfalls that +surround so many young people, is the great crying demand of the age. + +2. CRITICISM.--This work, though plain and to some extent startling, +is chaste, practical and to the point, and will be a boon and a +blessing to thousands who consult its pages. The world is full of +ignorance, and the ignorant will always criticise, because they live +to suffer ills, for they know no better. New light is fast falling +upon the dark corners, and the eyes of many are being opened. + +3. RESEARCHES OF SCIENCE.--The researches of science in the past few +years have thrown light on many facts relating to the physiology +of man and woman, and the diseases to which they are subject, and +consequently many reformations have taken place in the treatment and +prevention of diseases peculiar to the sexes. + +4. LOCK AND KEY.--Any information bearing upon the diseases of mankind +should not be kept under lock and key. The physician is frequently +called upon to speak in plain language to his patients upon some +private and startling disease contracted on account of ignorance. The +better plan, however, is to so educate and enlighten old and young +upon the important subjects of health, so that the necessity to call a +physician may occur less frequently. + +5. PROGRESSION.--A large, respectable, though diminishing class in +every community, maintain that nothing that relates exclusively to +either sex should become the subject of popular medical instruction. +But such an opinion is radically wrong; ignorance is no more the +mother of purity than it is of religion. Enlightenment can never work +injustice to him who investigates. + +6. AN EXAMPLE.--The men and women who study and practice medicine are +not the worse, but the better for such knowledge; so it would be to +the community in general if all would be properly instructed on the +laws of health which relate to the sexes. + +7. CRIME AND DEGRADATION.--Had every person a sound understanding on +the relation of the sexes, one of the most fertile sources of crime +and degradation would be removed. Physicians know too well what sad +consequences are constantly occurring from a lack of proper knowledge +on these important subjects. + +8. A CONSISTENT CONSIDERATION.--Let the reader of this work study its +pages carefully and be able to give safe counsel and advice to others, +and remember that purity of purpose and purity of character are the +brightest jewels in the crown of immortality. + +[Illustration: BEGINNING RIGHT.] + + + * * * * * + +THE BEGINNING OF LIFE. + + +1. THE BEGINNING.--There is a charm in opening manhood which has +commended itself to the imagination in every age. The undefined hopes +and promises of the future--the dawning strength of intellect--the +vigorous flow of passion--the very exchange of home ties and protected +joys for free and manly pleasures, give to this period an interest and +excitement unfelt, perhaps, at any other. + +2. THE GROWTH OF INDEPENDENCE.--Hitherto life has been to boys, as to +girls, a dependent existence--a sucker from the parent growth--a home +discipline of authority and guidance and communicated impulse. But +henceforth it is a transplanted growth of its own--a new and free +power of activity in which the mainspring is no longer authority or +law from without, but principle or opinion within. The shoot which +has been nourished under the shelter of the parent stem, and bent +according to its inclination, is transferred to the open world, where +of its own impulse and character it must take root, and grow into +strength, or sink into weakness and vice. + +3. HOME TIES.--The thought of home must excite a pang even in the +first moments of freedom. Its glad shelter--its kindly guidance--its +very restraints, how dear and tender must they seem in parting! How +brightly must they shine in the retrospect as the youth turns from +them to the hardened and unfamiliar face of the world! With what a +sweet sadly-cheering pathos they must linger in the memory! And then +what chance and hazard is there in his newly-gotten freedom! What +instincts of warning in its very novelty and dim inexperience! What +possibilities of failure as well as of success in the unknown future +as it stretches before him! + +4. VICE OR VIRTUE.--Certainly there is a grave importance as well as +a pleasant charm in the beginning of life. There is awe as well as +excitement in it when rightly viewed. The possibilities that lie in +it of noble or ignoble work--of happy self-sacrifice or ruinous +self-indulgence--the capacities in the right use of which it may rise +to heights of beautiful virtue, in the abuse of which it may sink to +the depths of debasing vice--make the crisis one of fear as well as of +hope, of sadness as well as of joy. + +5. SUCCESS OR FAILURE.--It is wistful as well as pleasing to think of +the young passing year by year into the world, and engaging with its +duties, its interests, and temptations. Of the throng that struggle +at the gates of entrance, how many may reach their anticipated goal? +Carry the mind forward a few years, and some have climbed the hills +of difficulty and gained the eminence on which they wished to +stand--some, although they may not have done this, have kept their +truth unhurt, their integrity unspoiled; but others have turned back, +or have perished by the way, or fallen in weakness of will, no more to +rise again; victims or their own sin. + +6. WARNING.--As we place ourselves with the young at the opening gates +of life, and think of the end from the beginning, it is a deep concern +more than anything else that fills us. Words of earnest argument and +warning counsel rather than of congratulation rise to our lips. + +7. MISTAKES ARE OFTEN FATAL.--Begin well and the habit of doing well +will become quite as easy as the habit of doing badly. "Well begun +is half ended," says the proverb: "and a good beginning is half +the battle." Many promising young men have irretrievably injured +themselves by a first false step at the commencement of life; while +others of much less promising talents, have succeeded simply by +beginning well, and going onward. The good, practical beginning is +to a certain extent, a pledge, a promise, and an assurance of the +ultimate prosperous issue. There is many a poor creature, now crawling +through life, miserable himself and the cause of sorrow to others, +who might have lifted up his head and prospered, if, instead of merely +satisfying himself with resolutions of well-doing, he had actually +gone to work and made a good, practical beginning. + +8. BEGIN AT THE RIGHT PLACE.--Too many are, however, impatient of +results. They are not satisfied to begin where their fathers did, +but where they left off. They think to enjoy the fruits of industry +without working for them. They cannot wait for the results of labor +and application, but forestall them by too early indulgence. + + + * * * * * + +HEALTH A DUTY. + + +Perhaps nothing will so much hasten the time when body and mind will +both be adequately cared for, as a diffusion of the belief that the +preservation of health is a duty. Few seem conscious that there is +such a thing as physical morality. + +Men's habitual words and acts imply that they are at liberty to treat +their bodies as they please. Disorder entailed by disobedience to +nature's dictates they regard as grievances, not as the effects of +a conduct more or less flagitious. Though the evil consequences +inflicted on their descendents and on future generations are often as +great as those caused by crime, they do not think themselves in any +degree criminal. + +It is true that in the case of drunkenness the viciousness of a bodily +transgression is recognized; but none appear to infer that if this +bodily transgression is vicious, so too is every bodily transgression. +The fact is, all breaches of the law of health are physical sins. + +When this is generally seen, then, and perhaps not till then, will the +physical training of the young receive all the attention it deserves. + +Purity of life and thought should be taught in the home. It is the +only safeguard of the young. Let parents wake up on this important +subject. + +[Illustration: GLADSTONE.] + + + * * * * * + +VALUE OF REPUTATION. + + +1. WHO SHALL ESTIMATE THE COST.--Who shall estimate the cost of a +priceless reputation--that impress which gives this human dross its +currency--without which we stand despised, debased, depreciated? Who +shall repair it injured? Who can redeem it lost? Oh, well and truly +does the great philosopher of poetry esteem the world's wealth as +"trash" in the comparison. Without it gold has no value; birth, no +distinction; station, no dignity; beauty, no charm; age, no reverence; +without it every treasure impoverishes, every grace deforms, +every dignity degrades, and all the arts, the decorations and +accomplishments of life stand, like the beacon-blaze upon a rock, +warning the world that its approach is dangerous; that its contact is +death. + +2. THE WRETCH WITHOUT IT.--The wretch without it is under eternal +quarantine; no friend to greet; no home to harbor him, the voyage of +his life becomes a joyless peril, and in the midst of all ambition +can achieve, or avarice amass, or rapacity plunder, he tosses on the +surge, a buoyant pestilence. But let me not degrade into selfishness +of individual safety or individual exposure this individual principle; +it testifies a higher, a more ennobling origin. + +3. ITS DIVINITY.--Oh, Divine, oh, delightful legacy of a spotless +reputation: Rich is the inheritance it leaves; pious the example +it testifies; pure, precious and imperishable, the hope which it +inspires; can there be conceived a more atrocious injury than to filch +from its possessor this inestimable benefit to rob society of its +charm, and solitude of its solace; not only to out-law life, but +attain death, converting the very grave, the refuge of the sufferer, +into the gate of infamy and of shame. + +4. LOST CHARACTER.--We can conceive few crimes beyond it. He who +plunders my property takes from me that which can be repaired by time; +but what period can repair a ruined reputation? He who maims my person +effects that which medicine may remedy; but what herb has sovereignty +over the wounds of slander? He who ridicules my poverty or reproaches +my profession, upbraids me with that which industry may retrieve, and +integrity may purify; but what riches shall redeem the bankrupt fame? +What power shall blanch the sullied show of character? There can be +no injury more deadly. There can be no crime more cruel. It is without +remedy. It is without antidote. It is without evasion. + +[Illustration: GATHERING WILD FLOWERS.] + + + * * * * * + +INFLUENCE OF ASSOCIATES. + + +If you always live with those who are lame, you will learn to +limp.--FROM THE LATIN. + +If men wish to be held in esteem, they must associate with those who +are estimable.--LA BRUYERE. + + +1. BY WHAT MEN ARE KNOWN.--An author is known by his writings, a +mother by her daughter, a fool by his words, and all men by their +companions. + +2. FORMATION OF A GOOD CHARACTER.--Intercourse with persons of decided +virtue and excellence is of great importance in the formation of a +good character. The force of example is powerful; we are creatures of +imitation, and, by a necessary influence, our tempers and habits +are very much formed on the model of those with whom we familiarly +associate. Better be alone than in bad company. Evil communications +corrupt good manners. Ill qualities are catching as well as diseases; +and the mind is at least as much, if not a great deal more, liable to +infection, than the body. Go with mean people, and you think life is +mean. + +3. GOOD EXAMPLE.--How natural is it for a child to look up to those +around him for an example of imitation, and how readily does he copy +all that he sees done, good or bad. The importance of a good example +on which the young may exercise this powerful and active element of +their nature, is a matter of the utmost moment. + +4. A TRUE MAXIM.--It is a trite, but true maxim, that "a man is known +by the company he keeps." He naturally assimilates by the force +of imitation, to the habits and manners of those by whom he is +surrounded. We know persons who walk much with the lame, who have +learned to walk with a hitch or limp like their lame friends. Vice +stalks in the streets unabashed, and children copy it. + +5. LIVE WITH THE CULPABLE.--Live with the culpable, and you will +be very likely to die with the criminal. Bad company is like a nail +driven into a post, which after the first or second blow, may be drawn +out with little difficulty; but being once driven in up to the head, +the pinchers cannot take hold to draw it out, which can only be done +by the destruction of the wood. You may be ever so pure, you cannot +associate with bad companions without falling into bad odor. + +6. SOCIETY OF THE VULGAR.--Do you love the society of the vulgar? Then +you are already debased in your sentiments. Do you seek to be with +the profane? In your heart you are like them. Are jesters and buffoons +your choice friends? He who loves to laugh at folly is himself a fool. +Do you love and seek the society of the wise and good? Is this your +habit? Had you rather take the lowest seat among these than the +highest seat among others? Then you have already learned to be good. +You may not make very much progress, but even a good beginning is not +to be despised. + +7. SINKS OF POLLUTION.--Strive for mental excellence, and strict +integrity, and you never will be found in the sinks of pollution, and +on the benches of retailers and gamblers. Once habituate yourself to a +virtuous course, once secure a love of good society, and no punishment +would be greater than by accident to be obliged for half a day to +associate with the low and vulgar. Try to frequent the company of your +betters. + +8. PROCURE NO FRIEND IN HASTE.--Nor, if once secured, in haste abandon +them. Be slow in choosing an associate, and slower to change him; +slight no man for poverty, nor esteem any one for his wealth. Good +friends should not be easily forgotten, nor used as suits of apparel, +which, when we have worn them threadbare, we cast them off, and call +for new. When once you profess yourself a friend, endeaver to be +always such. He can never have any true friends that will be often +changing them. + +9. HAVE THE COURAGE TO CUT THE MOST AGREEABLE ACQUAINTANCE.--Do this +when you are convinced that he lacks principle; a friend should bear +with a friend's infirmities, but not with his vices. He that does a +base thing in zeal for his friend, burns the golden thread that ties +their hearts together. + + + * * * * * + +SELF-CONTROL. + + +"Honor and profit do not always lie in the same sack."--GEORGE +HERBERT. + +"The government of one's self is the only true freedom for the +individual."--FREDERICK PERTHES. + +"It is length of patience, and endurance, and forbearance that so much +of what is called good in mankind and womankind is shown."--ARTHUR +HELPS. + + +1. ESSENCE OF CHARACTER.--Self-control is only courage under another +form. It may also be regarded as the primary essence of character. It +is in virtue of this quality that Shakespeare defines man as a being +"looking before and after." It forms the chief distinction between man +and the mere animal; and, indeed, there can be no true manhood +without it. + +[Illustration: RESULT OF BAD COMPANY.] + +2. ROOT OF ALL THE VIRTUES.--Self-control is at the root of all the +virtues. Let a man give the reins to his impulses and passions, and +from that moment he yields up his moral freedom. He is carried along +the current of life, and becomes the slave of his strongest desire for +the time being. + +3. RESIST INSTINCTIVE IMPULSE.--To be morally free--to be more than an +animal--man must be able to resist instinctive impulse, and this can +only be done by exercise of self-control. Thus it is this power which +constitutes the real distinction between a physical and a moral life, +and that forms the primary basis of individual character. + +4. A STRONG MAN RULETH HIS OWN SPIRIT.--In the Bible praise is given, +not to a strong man who "taketh a city," but to the stronger man who +"ruleth his own spirit." This stronger man is he who, by discipline, +exercises a constant control over his thoughts, his speech, and his +acts. Nine-tenths of the vicious desires that degrade society, and +which, when indulged, swell into the crimes that disgrace it, +would shrink into insignificance before the advance of valiant +self-discipline, self-respect, and self-control. By the watchful +exercise of these virtues, purity of heart and mind become habitual, +and the character is built up in chastity, virtue, and temperance. + +5. THE BEST SUPPORT.--The best support of character will always be +found in habit, which, according as the will is directed rightly or +wrongly, as the case may be, will prove either a benignant ruler, or +a cruel despot. We may be its willing subject on the one hand, or its +servile slave on the other. It may help us on the road to good, or it +may hurry us on the road to ruin. + +6. THE IDEAL MAN.--"In the supremacy of self-control," says Herbert +Spencer, "consists one of the perfections of the ideal man. Not to be +impulsive, not to be spurred hither and thither by each desire that +in turn comes upper-most, but to be self-restrained, self-balanced, +governed by the joint decision of the feelings in council assembled, +before whom every action shall have been fully debated, and calmly +determined--that it is which education, moral education at least, +strives to produce." + +7. THE BEST REGULATED HOME.--The best regulated home is always that +in which the discipline is the most perfect, and yet where it is the +least felt. Moral discipline acts with the force of a law of nature. +Those subject to it yield themselves to it unconsciously; and though +it shapes and forms the whole character, until the life becomes +crystallized in habit, the influence thus exercised is for the most +part unseen and almost unfelt. + +8. PRACTICE SELF-DENIAL.--If a man would get through life honorably +and peaceably, he must necessarily learn to practice self-denial +in small things as well as in great. Men have to bear as well as to +forbear. The temper has to be held in subjection to the judgment; +and the little demons of ill-humor, petulance, and sarcasm, kept +resolutely at a distance. If once they find an entrance to the mind, +they are apt to return, and to establish for themselves a permanent +occupation there. + +9. POWER OF WORDS.--It is necessary to one's personal happiness, to +exercise control over one's words as well as acts: for there are +words that strike even harder than blows; and men may "speak daggers," +though they use none. The stinging repartee that rises to the lips, +and which, if uttered, might cover an adversary with confusion, how +difficult it is to resist saying it! "Heaven, keep us," says Miss +Bremer, in her 'Home', "from the destroying power of words! There are +words that sever hearts more than sharp swords do; there are words the +point of which sting the heart through the course of a whole life." + +10. CHARACTER EXHIBITS ITSELF.--Character exhibits itself in +self-control of speech as much as in anything else. The wise and +forbearant man will restrain his desire to say a smart or severe thing +at the expense of another's feeling; while the fool blurts out what he +thinks, and will sacrifice his friend rather than his joke. "The mouth +of a wise man," said Solomon, "is in his heart; the heart of a fool is +in his mouth." + +11. BURNS.--No one knew the value of self-control better than the poet +Burns, and no one could teach it more eloquently to others, but when +it came to practice, Burns was as weak as the weakest. He could not +deny himself the pleasure of uttering a harsh and clever sarcasm at +another's expense. One of his biographers observed of him, that it +was no extravagant arithmetic to say that for every ten jokes he made +himself a hundred enemies. But this was not all. Poor Burns exercised +no control over his appetites, but freely gave them the rein: + + "Thus thoughtless follies laid him low, + And stained his name." + +12. SOW POLLUTION.--Nor had he the self-denial to resist giving +publicity to compositions originally intended for the delight of the +tap-room, but which continued secretly to sow pollution broadcast in +the minds of youth. Indeed, notwithstanding the many exquisite poems +of this writer, it is not saying too much that his immoral writings +have done far more harm than his purer writings have done good; and +it would be better that all his writings should be destroyed and +forgotten, provided his indecent songs could be destroyed with them. + +13. MORAL PRINCIPLE.--Many of our young men lack moral principle. They +cannot look upon a beautiful girl with a pure heart and pure thoughts. +They have not manifested or practiced that self-control which develops +true manhood and brings into subordination evil thoughts, evil +passions, and evil practices. Men who have no self-control will find +life a failure, both in a social and in a business sense. The world +despises an insignificant person who lacks backbone and character. +Stand upon your manhood and womanhood; honor your convictions, and +dare to do right. + +14. STRONG DRINK.--There is the habit of strong drink. It is only the +lack of self-control that brings men into the depths of degradation; +on account of the cup, the habit of taking drink occasionally in +its milder forms--of playing with a small appetite that only needs +sufficient playing with to make you a demon or a dolt. You think you +are safe; I know you are not safe, if you drink at all; and when you +get offended with the good friends that warn you of your danger, +you are a fool. I know that the grave swallows daily, by scores, +drunkards, every one of whom thought he was safe while he was forming +his appetite. But this is old talk. A young man in this age who forms +the habit of drinking, or puts himself in danger of forming the habit, +is usually so weak that he does not realize the consequences. + +[Illustration: LOST SELF-CONTROL.] + + + * * * * * + +HABIT. + + +It is almost as difficult to make a man unlearn his Errors as his +Knowledge.--COLTON. + +There are habits contracted by bad example, or bad management, before +we have judgment to discern their approaches, or because the eye of +Reason is laid asleep, or has not compass of view sufficient to look +around on every quarter.--TUCKER. + + +1. HABIT.--Our real strength in life depends upon habits formed in +early life. The young man who sows his wild oats and indulges in the +social cup, is fastening chains upon himself that never can be broken. +The innocent youth by solitary practice of self-abuse will fasten upon +himself a habit which will wreck his physical constitution and bring +suffering and misery and ruin. Young man and young woman, beware of +bad habits formed in early life. + +2. A BUNDLE OF HABITS.--Man, it has been said, is a bundle of habits; +and habit is second nature. Metastasio entertained so strong an +opinion as to the power of repetition in act and thought, that he +said, "All is habit in mankind, even virtue itself." Evil habits +must be conquered, or they will conquer us and destroy our peace and +happiness. + +3. VICIOUS HABITS.--Vicious habits, when opposed, offer the most +vigorous resistence on the first attack. At each successive encounter +this resistence grows fainter and fainter, until finally it ceases +altogether and the victory is achieved. Habit is man's best friend and +worst enemy; it can exalt him to the highest pinnacle of virtue, honor +and happiness, or sink him to the lowest depths of vice, shame and +misery. + +4. HONESTY, OR KNAVERY.--We may form habits of honesty, or knavery; +truth, or falsehood; of industry, or idleness; frugality, +or extravagance; of patience, or impatience; self-denial, or +self-indulgence; of kindness, cruelty, politeness, rudeness, prudence, +perseverance, circumspection. In short, there, is not a virtue, nor a +vice; not an act of body, nor of mind, to which we may not be chained +down by this despotic power. + +5. BEGIN WELL.--It is a great point for young men to begin well; for +it is the beginning of life that that system of conduct is adopted +which soon assumes the force of habit. Begin well, and the habit +of doing well will become quite easy, as easy as the habit of doing +badly. Pitch upon that course of life which is the most excellent, and +habit will render it the most delightful. + + + * * * * * + +A GOOD NAME. + + +1. THE LONGING FOR A GOOD NAME.--The longing for a good name is one +of those laws of nature that were passed for the soul and written down +within to urge toward a life of action, and away from small or wicked +action. So large is this passion that it is set forth in poetic +thought, as having a temple grand as that of Jupiter or Minerva, and +up whose marble steps all noble minds struggle--the temple of Fame. + +2. CIVILIZATION.--Civilization is the ocean of which the millions of +individuals are the rivers and torrents. These rivers and torrents +swell with those rains of money and home and fame and happiness, +and then fall and run almost dry, but the ocean of civilization has +gathered up all these waters, and holds them in sparkling beauty +for all subsequent use. Civilization is a fertile delta made by the +drifting souls of men. + +3. FAME.--The word "fame" never signifies simply notoriety. The +meaning of the direct term may be seen from its negation or opposite, +for only the meanest of men are called infamous. They are utterly +without fame, utterly nameless; but if fame implied only notoriety, +then infamous would possess no marked significance. Fame is an +undertaker that pays but little attention to the living, but who +bedizens the dead, furnishes out their funerals and follows them to +the grave. + +4. LIFE-MOTIVE.--So in studying that life-motive which is called a +"good name," we must ask the large human race to tell us the high +merit of this spiritual longing. We must read the words of the sage, +who said long centuries ago that "a good name was rather chosen than +great riches." Other sages have said as much. Solon said that "He that +will sell his good name will sell the State." Socrates said, "Fame is +the perfume of heroic deeds." Our Shakespeare said, "He lives in fame +who died in virtue's cause." + +5. INFLUENCES OF OUR AGE.--Our age is deeply influenced by the motives +called property and home and pleasure, but it is a question whether +the generation in action today and the generation on the threshold +of this intense life are conscious fully of the worth of an honorable +name. + +6. BEAUTY OF CHARACTER.--We do not know whether with us all a good +name is less sweet than it was with our fathers, but this is painfully +evident that our times do not sufficiently behold the beauty of +character--their sense does not detect quickly enough or love deeply +enough this aroma of heroic deeds. + +7. SELLING OUT THEIR REPUTATION.--It is amazing what multitudes there +are who are willing to sell out their reputation, and amazing at what +a low price they will make the painful exchange. Some king remarked +that he would not tell a lie for any reward less than an empire. It +is not uncommon in our world for a man to sell out all his honor and +hopes for a score or a half score of dollars. + +8. PRISONS OVERFLOWING.--Our prisons are all full to overflowing of +those who took no thought of honor. They have not waited for an empire +to be offered them before they would violate the sacred rights of man, +but many of them have even murdered for a cause that would not have +justified even an exchange of words. + +9. INTEGRITY THE PRIDE OF THE GOVERNMENT.--If integrity were made the +pride of the government, the love of it would soon spring up among the +people. If all fraudulent men should go straight to jail, pitilessly, +and if all the most rigid characters were sought out for all political +and commercial offices, there would soon come a popular honesty just +as there has come a love of reading or of art. It is with character as +with any new article--the difficulty lies in its first introduction. + +10. A NEW VIRTUE.--May a new virtue come into favor, all our high +rewards, those from the ballot-box, those from employers, the rewards +of society, the rewards of the press, should be offered only to +the worthy. A few years of rewarding the worthy would result in a +wonderful zeal in the young to build up, not physical property, but +mental and spiritual worth. + +11. BLESSING THE FAMILY GROUP.--No young man or young woman can by +industry and care reach an eminence in study or art or character, +without blessing the entire family group. We have all seen that the +father and mother feel that all life's care and labor were at last +perfectly rewarded in the success of their child. But had the child +been reckless or indolent, all this domestic joy--the joy of a large +group--would have been blighted forever. + +12. AN HONORED CHILD.--There have been triumphs at old Rome, where +victors marched along with many a chariot, many an elephant, and many +spoils of the East; and in all times money has been lavished in the +efforts of States to tell their pleasure in the name of some general; +but more numerous and wide-spread and beyond expression, by chariot +or cannon or drum, have been those triumphal hours, when some son or +daughter has returned to the parental hearth beautiful in the wreaths +of some confessed excellence, bearing a good name. + +13. RICH CRIMINALS.--We looked at the utter wretchedness of the men +who threw away reputation, and would rather be rich criminals in exile +than be loved friends and persons at home. + +14. AN EMPTY, OR AN EVIL NAME.--Young and old cannot afford to bear +the burden of an empty or an evil name. A good name is a motive of +life. It is a reason for that great encampment we call an existence. +While you are building the home of to-morrow, build up also that kind +of soul that can sleep sweetly on home's pillow, and can feel that God +is not near as an avenger of wrong, but as the Father not only of the +verdure and the seasons, but of you. + +[Illustration: AN EGYPTIAN DANCER.] + + + * * * * * + +THE MOTHER'S INFLUENCE. + + + Mother, O mother, my heart calls for you, + Many a Summer the grass has grown green, + Blossomed and faded, our faces between; + Yet with strong yearning and passionate pain, + Long I to-night for your presence again. + --_Elizabeth Akers Allen._ + + + A mother is a mother still, + The holiest thing alive. + --_Coleridge._ + + + There is none, + In all this cold and hollow world, no fount + Of deep, strong, deathless love, save that within + A mother's heart. + --_Mrs. Hemans._ + + + And all my mother came into mine eyes, + And gave me up to tears. + --_Shakespeare._ + + +1. HER INFLUENCE.--It is true to nature, although it be expressed in +a figurative form, that a mother is both the morning and the evening +star of life. The light of her eye is always the first to rise, and +often the last to set upon man's day of trial. She wields a power more +decisive far than syllogisms in argument or courts of last appeal in +authority. + +2. HER LOVE.--Mother! ecstatic sound so twined round our hearts that +they must cease to throb ere we forget it; 'tis our first love; 'tis +part of religion. Nature has set the mother upon such a pinnacle that +our infant eyes and arms are first uplifted to it; we cling to it in +manhood; we almost worship it in old age. + +3. HER TENDERNESS.--Alas! how little do we appreciate a mother's +tenderness while living. How heedless are we in youth of all her +anxieties and kindness! But when she is dead and gone, when the +cares and coldness of the world come withering to our hearts, when we +experience for ourselves how hard it is to find true sympathy, how few +to love us, how few will befriend us in misfortune, then it is that we +think of the mother we have lost. + +4. HER CONTROLLING POWER.--The mother can take man's whole nature +under her control. She becomes what she has been called "The Divinity +of Infancy." Her smile is its sunshine, her word its mildest law, +until sin and the world have steeled the heart. + +[Illustration: A PRAYERFUL AND DEVOTED MOTHER.] + +5. THE LAST TIE.--The young man who has forsaken the advice and +influence of his mother has broken the last cable and severed the last +tie that binds him to an honorable and upright life. He has forsaken +his best friend, and every hope for his future welfare may be +abandoned, for he is lost forever, if he is faithless to mother, he +will have but little respect for wife and children. + +6. HOME TIES.--The young man or young woman who love their home and +love their mother can be safely trusted under almost any and all +circumstances, and their life will not be a blank, for they seek what +is good. Their hearts will be ennobled, and God will bless them. + +[Illustration: HOME AMUSEMENTS.] + + + * * * * * + +HOME POWER. + + +"The mill-streams that turn the clappers of the world arise in +solitary places."--HELPS. + + "Lord! with what care hast Thou begirt us round! + Parents first season us. Then schoolmasters + Deliver us to laws. They send us bound + To rules of reason."--GEORGE HERBERT. + + +1. SCHOOL OF CHARACTER.--Home is the first and most important school +of character. It is there that every human being receives his best +moral training, or his worst, for it is there that he imbibes those +principles of conduct which endure through manhood, and cease only +with life. + +2. HOME MAKES THE MAN.--It is a common saying, "Manners make the +man;" and there is a second, that "Mind makes the man;" but truer than +either is a third, that "Home makes the man." For the home-training +includes not only manners and mind, but character. It is mainly in the +home that the heart is opened, the habits are formed, the intellect is +awakened, and character moulded for good or for evil. + +3. GOVERN SOCIETY.--From that source, be it pure or impure, issue +the principles and maxims that govern society. Law itself is but the +reflex of homes. The tiniest bits of opinion sown in the minds of +children in private life afterwards issue forth to the world, and +become its public opinion; for nations are gathered out of nurseries, +and they who hold the leading-strings of children may even exercise a +greater power than those who wield the reins of government. + +4. THE CHILD IS FATHER OF THE MAN.--The child's character is the +nucleus of the man's; all after-education is but superposition; the +form of the crystal remains the same. Thus the saying of the poet +holds true in a large degree, "The child is father of the man;" or +as Milton puts it, "The childhood shows the man, as morning shows the +day." Those impulses to conduct which last the longest and are rooted +the deepest, always have their origin near our birth. It is then that +the germs of virtues or vices, of feelings or sentiments, are first +implanted which determine the character of life. + +5. NURSERIES.--Thus homes, which are nurseries of children who grow +up into men and women, will be good or bad according to the power that +governs them. Where the spirit of love and duty pervades the home, +where head and heart bear rule wisely there, where the daily life +is honest and virtuous, where the government is sensible, kind, and +loving, then may we expect from such a home an issue of healthy, +useful, and happy beings, capable as they gain the requisite strength, +of following the footsteps of their parents, of walking uprightly, +governing themselves wisely, and contributing to the welfare of those +about them. + +6. IGNORANCE, COARSENESS, AND SELFISHNESS.--On the other hand, if +surrounded by ignorance, coarseness, and selfishness, they will +unconsciously assume the same character, and grow up to adult years +rude, uncultivated, and all the more dangerous to society if placed +amidst the manifold temptations of what is called civilized life. +"Give your child to be educated by a slave," said an ancient Greek +"and, instead of one slave, you will then have two." + +7. MATERNAL LOVE.--Maternal love is the visible providence of our +race. Its influence is constant and universal. It begins with the +education of the human being at the outstart of life, and is prolonged +by virtue of the powerful influence which every good mother exercises +over her children through life. When launched into the world, each +to take part in its labors, anxieties, and trials, they still turn +to their mother for consolation, if not for counsel, in their time of +trouble and difficulty. The pure and good thoughts she has implanted +in their minds when children continue to grow up into good acts long +after she is dead; and when there is nothing but a memory of her left, +her children rise up and call her blessed. + +8. WOMAN, ABOVE ALL OTHER EDUCATORS, educates humanly. Man is the +brain, but woman is the heart of humanity; he its judgment, she its +feeling; he its strength, she its grace, ornament and solace. Even +the understanding of the best woman seems to work mainly through +her affections. And thus, though man may direct the intellect, woman +cultivates the feelings, which mainly determine the character. While +he fills the memory, she occupies the heart. She makes us love what +he can make us only believe, and it is chiefly through her that we are +enabled to arrive at virtue. + +9. THE POOREST DWELLING, presided over by a virtuous, thrifty, +cheerful, and cleanly woman may thus be the abode of comfort, virtue +and happiness; it may be the scene of every enobling relation +in family life; it may be endeared to man by many delightful +associations; furnishing a sanctuary for the heart, a refuge from the +storms of life, a sweet resting-place after labor, a consolation in +misfortune, a pride in prosperity and a joy at all times. + +10. THE GOOD HOME IS THUS THE BEST OF SCHOOLS, not only in youth +but in age. There young and old best learn cheerfulness, patience, +self-control, and the spirit of service and of duty. The home is the +true school of courtesy, of which woman is always the best practical +instructor. "Without woman," says the Provencal proverb, "men were +but ill-licked cubs." Philanthropy radiates from the home as from a +center. "To love the little platoon we belong to in society," said +Burke, "is the germ of all public affections." The wisest and best +have not been ashamed to own it to be their greatest joy and happiness +to sit "behind the heads of children" in the inviolable circle of +home. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: DAY DREAMING.] + + + * * * * * + +TO YOUNG WOMEN. + + +1. TO BE A WOMAN, in the truest and highest sense of the word is to be +the best thing beneath the skies. To be a woman is something more than +to live eighteen or twenty years; something more than to grow to +the physical stature of women; something more than to wear flounces, +exhibit dry goods, sport jewelry, catch the gaze of lewd-eyed men; +something more than to be a belle, a wife, or a mother. Put all these +qualifications together and they do but little toward making a true +woman. + +2. BEAUTY AND STYLE are not the surest passports to womanhood--some of +the noblest specimens of womanhood that the world has ever seen have +presented the plainest and most unprepossessing appearance. A woman's +worth is to be estimated by the real goodness of her heart, the +greatness of her soul, and the purity and sweetness of her character; +and a woman with a kindly disposition and well-balanced temper is both +lovely and attractive, be her face ever so plain, and her figure ever +so homely; she makes the best of wives and the truest of mothers. + +3. BEAUTY IS A DANGEROUS GIFT.--It is even so. Like wealth, it has +ruined its thousands. Thousands of the most beautiful women are +destitute of common sense and common humanity. No gift from heaven +is so general and so widely abused by woman as the gift of beauty. In +about nine cases in ten it makes her silly, senseless, thoughtless, +giddy, vain, proud, frivolous, selfish, low and mean. I think I have +seen more girls spoiled by beauty than by any other one thing, "She +is beautiful, and she knows it," is as much as to say that she is +spoiled. A beautiful girl is very likely to believe she was made to be +looked at; and so she sets herself up for a show at every window, in +every door, on every corner of the street, in every company at which +opportunity offers for an exhibition of herself. + +4. BEWARE OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.--These facts have long since taught +sensible men to beware of beautiful women--to sound them carefully +before they give them their confidence. Beauty is shallow--only skin +deep; fleeting--only for a few years' reign; dangerous--tempting to +vanity and lightness of mind; deceitful--dazzling of ten to bewilder; +weak--reigning only to ruin; gross--leading often to sensual pleasure. +And yet we say it need not be so. Beauty is lovely and ought to be +innocently possessed. It has charms which ought to be used for good +purposes. It is a delightful gift, which ought to be received with +gratitude and worn with grace and meekness. It should always minister +to inward beauty. Every woman of beautiful form and features should +cultivate a beautiful mind and heart. + +5. RIVAL THE BOYS.--We want the girls to rival the boys in all that is +good, and refined, and ennobling. We want them to rival the boys, as +they well can, in learning, in understanding, in virtues; in all noble +qualities of mind and heart, but not in any of those things that have +caused them, justly or unjustly, to be described as savages. We +want the girls to be gentle--not weak, but gentle, and kind and +affectionate. We want to be sure, that wherever a girl is, there +should be a sweet, subduing and harmonizing influence of purity, +and truth, and love, pervading and hallowing, from center to +circumference, the entire circle in which she moves. If the boys are +savages, we want her to be their civilizer. We want her to tame them, +to subdue their ferocity, to soften their manners, and to teach them +all needful lessons of order, sobriety, and meekness, and patience and +goodness. + +6. KINDNESS.--Kindness is the ornament of man--it is the chief glory +of woman--it is, indeed, woman's true prerogative--her sceptre and +her crown. It is the sword with which she conquers, and the charm with +which she captivates. + +7. ADMIRED AND BELOVED.--Young lady, would you be admired and beloved? +Would you be an ornament to your sex, and a blessing to your race? +Cultivate this heavenly virtue. Wealth may surround you with its +blandishments, and beauty, and learning, or talents, may give you +admirers, but love and kindness alone can captivate the heart. Whether +you live in a cottage or a palace, these graces can surround you with +perpetual sunshine, making you, and all around you, happy. + +8. INWARD GRACE.--Seek ye then, fair daughters, the possession of +that inward grace, whose essence shall permeate and vitalize the +affections, adorn the countenance make mellifluous the voice, and +impart a hallowed beauty even to your motions. Not merely that you +may be loved, would I urge this, but that you may, in truth, be +lovely--that loveliness which fades not with time, nor is marred or +alienated by disease, but which neither chance nor change can in any +way despoil. + +9. SILKEN ENTICEMENTS OF THE STRANGER.--We urge you, gentle maiden, to +beware of the silken enticements of the stranger, until your love +is confirmed by protracted acquaintance. Shun the idler, though his +coffers overflow with pelf. Avoid the irreverent--the scoffer of +hallowed things; and him who "looks upon the wine while it is red;" +him too, "who hath a high look and a proud heart," and who "privily +slandereth his neighbor." Do not heed the specious prattle about +"first love," and so place, irrevocably, the seal upon your future +destiny, before you have sounded, in silence and secrecy, the deep +fountains of your own heart. Wait, rather, until your own character +and that of him who would woo you, is more fully developed. Surely, if +this "first love" cannot endure a short probation, fortified by +"the pleasures of hope," how can it be expected to survive years of +intimacy, scenes of trial, distracting cares, wasting sickness, +and all the homely routine of practical life? Yet it is these that +constitute life, and the love that cannot abide them is false and must +die. + +[Illustration: ROMAN LADIES.] + + + * * * * * + +INFLUENCE OF FEMALE CHARACTER. + + +1. MORAL EFFECT.--It is in its moral effect on the mind and the heart +of man, that the influence of woman is most powerful and important. In +the diversity of tastes, habits, inclinations, and pursuits of the two +sexes, is found a most beneficent provision for controlling the force +and extravagance of human passion. The objects which most strongly +seize and stimulate the mind of man, rarely act at the same time and +with equal power on the mind of woman. She is naturally better, purer, +and more chaste in thought and language. + +2. FEMALE CHARACTER.--But the influence of female character on the +virtue of men, is not seen merely in restraining and softening the +violence of human passion. To her is mainly committed the task of +pouring into the opening mind of infancy its first impressions of +duty, and of stamping on its susceptible heart the first image of its +God. Who will not confess the influence of a mother in forming the +heart of a child? What man is there who can not trace the origin of +many of the best maxims of his life to the lips of her who gave him +birth? How wide, how lasting, how sacred is that part of a woman's +influence. + +3. VIRTUE OF A COMMUNITY.--There is yet another mode by which woman +may exert a powerful influence on the virtue of a community. It rests +with her in a pre-eminent degree, to give tone and elevation to the +moral character of the age, by deciding the degree of virtue that +shall be necessary to afford a passport to her society. If all the +favor of woman were given only to the good, if it were known that the +charms and attractions of beauty and wisdom, and wit, were reserved +only for the pure; if, in one word, something of a similar rigor were +exerted to exclude the profligate and abandoned of society, as is +shown to those, who have fallen from virtue,--how much would be done +to re-enforce the motives to moral purity among us, and impress on the +minds of all a reverence for the sanctity and obligations of virtue. + +4. THE INFLUENCE OF WOMAN ON THE MORAL SENTIMENTS.--The influence of +woman on the moral sentiments of society is intimately connected with +her influence on its religious character; for religion and a pure and +elevated morality must ever stand in the relation to each other of +effect and cause. The heart of a woman is formed for the abode of +sacred truth; and for the reasons alike honorable to her character and +to that of society. From the nature of humanity this must be so, or +the race would soon degenerate and moral contagion eat out the heart +of society. The purity of home is the safeguard to American manhood. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +PERSONAL PURITY. + + + "Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control, + These three alone lead life to sovereign power."--Tennyson + + +1. WORDS OF THE GREAT TEACHER.--Mark the words of the Great Teacher: +"If thy right hand or foot cause thee to fall, cut it off and cast it +from thee. If thy right eye cause thee to fall, pluck it out. It is +better for thee to enter into life maimed and halt, than having two +eyes to be cast into hell-fire, where the worm dieth not, and the fire +is not quenched." + +2. A MELANCHOLY FACT.--It is a melancholy fact in human experience, +that the noblest gifts which men possess are constantly prostituted +to other purposes than those for which they are designed. The most +valuable and useful organs of the body are those which are capable +of the greatest dishonor, abuse, and corruption. What a snare the +wonderful organism of the eye may become, when used to read corrupt +books, or to look upon licentious pictures, or vulgar theater scenes, +or when used to meet the fascinating gaze of the harlot! What an +instrument for depraving the whole man may be found in the matchless +powers of the brain, the hand, the mouth, or the tongue! What potent +instruments may these become in accomplishing the ruin of the whole +being, for time and eternity! + +3. Abstinence.--Some can testify with thankfulness that they never +knew the sins of gambling, drunkenness, fornication, or adultery. In +all these cases abstinence has been, and continues to be, liberty. +Restraint is the noblest freedom. No man can affirm that self-denial +ever injured him; on the contrary, self-restraint has been liberty, +strength and blessing. Solemnly ask young men to remember this when +temptation and passion strive as a floodtide to move them from the +anchorage and peace of self-restraint. Beware of the deceitful stream +of temporary gratification, whose eddying current drifts towards +license, shame, disease and death. Remember how quickly moral power +declines, how rapidly the edge of the fatal maelstrom is reached, how +near the vortex, how terrible the penalty, how fearful the sentence of +everlasting punishment! + +4. FRANK DISCUSSION.--The time has arrived for a full and frank +discussion of those things which affect the personal purity. Thousands +are suffering to-day from various weaknesses, the causes of which they +have never learned. Manly vigor is not increasing with that rapidity +which a Christian age demands. Means of dissipation are on the +increase. It is high time, therefore, that every lover of the +race should call a halt, and inquire into the condition of things. +Excessive modesty on this subject is not virtue. Timidity in +presenting unpleasant but important truths has permitted untold damage +in every age. + +5. MAN IS A CARELESS BEING.--He is very much inclined to sinful +things. He more often does that which is wrong than that which is +right, because it is easier, and, for the moment, perhaps, more +satisfying to the flesh. The Creator is often blamed for man's +weaknesses and inconsistencies. This is wrong. God did not intend that +we should be mere machines, but free moral agents. We are privileged +to choose between good and evil. Hence, if we perseveringly choose +the latter, and make a miserable failure of life, we should blame only +ourselves. + +6. THE PULPIT.--Would that every pulpit in the land might join hands +with the medical profession and cry out with no uncertain sound +against the mighty evils herein stigmatized! It would work a +revolution for which coming society could never cease to be grateful. + +7. STRIVE TO ATTAIN A HIGHER LIFE.--Strive to attain unto a higher +and better life. Beware of all excesses, of whatever nature, and guard +your personal purity with sacred determination. Let every aspiration +be upward, and be strong in every good, resolution. Seek the light, +for in light there is life, while in darkness there is decay and +death. + +[Illustration: THE FIRST LOVE LETTER.] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO WRITE ALL KINDS OF LETTERS. + + +1. From the President in his cabinet to the laborer in the street; +from the lady in her parlor to the servant in her kitchen; from the +millionaire to the beggar; from the emigrant to the settler; from +every country and under every combination of circumstances, letter +writing in all its forms and varieties is most important to the +advancement, welfare and happiness of the human family. + +2. EDUCATION.--The art of conveying thought through the medium of +written language is so valuable and so necessary, a thorough knowledge +of the practice must be desirable to every one. For merely to write a +good letter requires the exercise of much of the education and talent +of any writer. + +3. A GOOD LETTER.--A good letter must be correct in every mechanical +detail, finished in style, interesting in substance, and intelligible +in construction. Few there are who do not need write them; yet +a letter perfect in detail is rarer than any other specimen of +composition. + +4. PENMANSHIP.--It is folly to suppose that the faculty for writing a +good hand is confined to any particular persons. There is no one who +can write at all, but what can write well, if only the necessary pains +are practiced. Practice makes perfect. Secure a few copy books and +write an hour each day. You will soon write a good hand. + +5. WRITE PLAINLY.--Every word of even the most trifling document +should be written in such clear characters that it would be impossible +to mistake it for another word, or the writer may find himself in the +position of the Eastern merchant who, writing to the Indies for five +thousand mangoes, received by the next vessel five hundred monkies, +with a promise of more in the next cargo. + +6. HASTE.--Hurry is no excuse for bad writing, because any one of +sense knows that everything hurried is liable to be ruined. Dispatch +may be acquired, but hurry will ruin everything. If, however, you must +write slowly to write well, then be careful not to hurry at all, for +the few moments you will gain by rapid writing will never compensate +you for the disgrace of sending an ill-written letter. + +7. NEATNESS.--Neatness is also of great importance. A fair white sheet +with handsomely written words will be more welcome to any reader than +a blotted, bedaubed page covered with erasures and dirt, even if +the matter in each be of equal value and interest. Erasures, blots, +interlineations always spoil the beauty of any letter. + +8. BAD SPELLING.--When those who from faulty education, or +forgetfulness are doubtful about the correct spelling of any word, +it is best to keep a dictionary at hand, and refer to it upon such +occasions. It is far better to spend a few moments in seeking for a +doubtful word, than to dispatch an ill-spelled letter, and the +search will probably impress the spelling upon the mind for a future +occasion. + +9. CARELESSNESS.--Incorrect spelling will expose the most important +or interesting letter to the severest sarcasm and ridicule. However +perfect in all other respects, no epistle that is badly spelled will +be regarded as the work of an educated gentleman or lady. Carelessness +will never be considered, and to be ignorant of spelling is to expose +an imperfect education at once. + +10. AN EXCELLENT PRACTICE.--After writing a letter, read it over +carefully, correct all the errors and re-write it. If you desire to +become a good letter writer, improve your penmanship, improve your +language and grammar, re-writing once or twice every letter that you +have occasion to write, whether on social or business subjects. + +11. PUNCTUATION.--A good rule for punctuation is to punctuate where +the sense requires it, after writing a letter and reading it over +carefully you will see where the punctuation marks are required, you +can readily determine where the sense requires it, so that your letter +will convey the desired meaning. + +[Illustration] + +12. CORRESPONDENCE.--There is no better school or better source for +self-improvement than a pleasant correspondence between friends. It +is not at all difficult to secure a good list of correspondents if +desired. The young people who take advantage of such opportunities +for self-improvement will be much more popular in the community and in +society. Letter writing cultivates the habit of study; it cultivates +the mind, the heart, and stimulates self-improvement in general. + +13. FOLDING.--Another bad practice with those unaccustomed to +corresponding is to fold the sheet of writing in such a fantastic +manner as to cause the receiver much annoyance in opening it. To the +sender it may appear a very ingenious performance, but to the receiver +it is only a source of vexation and annoyance, and may prevent the +communication receiving the attention it would otherwise merit. + +14. SIMPLE STYLE.--The style of letter writing should be simple and +unaffected, not raised on stilts and indulging in pedantic displays +which are mostly regarded as cloaks of ignorance. Repeated literary +quotations, involved sentences, long-sounding words and scraps of +Latin, French and other languages are, generally speaking, out of +place, and should not be indulged in. + +15. THE RESULT.--A well written letter has opened the way to +prosperity for many a one, has led to many a happy marriage and +constant friendship, and has secured many a good service in time of +need; for it is in some measure a photograph of the writer, and may +inspire love or hatred, regard or aversion in the reader, just as +the glimpse of a portrait often determine us, in our estimate, of +the worth of the person represented. Therefore, one of the roads +to fortune runs through the ink bottle, and if we want to attain a +certain end in love, friendship or business, we must trace out the +route correctly with the pen in our hand. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO WRITE A LOVE LETTER. + + +1. LOVE.--There is no greater or more profound reality than love. Why +that reality should be obscured by mere sentimentalism, with all +its train of absurdities is incomprehensible. There is no nobler +possession than the love of another. There is no higher gift from one +human being to another than love. The gift and the possession are true +sanctifiers of life, and should be worn as precious jewels, without +affectation and without bashfulness. For this reason there is nothing +to be ashamed of in a love letter, provided it be sincere. + +2. FORFEITS.--No man need consider that he forfeits dignity if he +speaks with his whole heart: no woman need fear she forfeits her +womanly attributes if she responds as her heart bids her respond. +"Perfect love casteth out fear" is as true now as when the maxim was +first given to the world. + +3. TELLING THEIR LOVE.--The generality of the sex is, love to be +loved; how are they to know the fact that they are loved unless they +are told? To write a sensible love letter requires more talent than +to solve, with your pen, a profound problem in philosophy. Lovers must +not then expect much from each other's epistles. + +4. CONFIDENTIAL.--Ladies and gentlemen who correspond with each other +should never be guilty of exposing any of the contents of any letters +written expressing confidence, attachment or love. The man who +confides in a lady and honors her with his confidence should be +treated with perfect security and respect, and those who delight in +showing their confidential letters to others are unworthy, heartless +and unsafe companions. + +5. RETURN OF LETTERS.--If letters were written under circumstances +which no longer exist and all confidential relations are at an end, +then all letters should be promptly returned. + +6. HOW TO BEGIN A LOVE LETTER.--How to begin a love letter has been no +doubt the problem of lovers and suitors of all ages and nations. Fancy +the youth of Young America with lifted pen, thinking how he shall +address his beloved. Much depends upon this letter. What shall he say, +and how shall he say it, is the great question. Perseverance, however, +will solve the problem and determine results. + +7. FORMS OF BEGINNING A LOVE LETTER.--Never say, "My Dearest Nellie," +"My Adored Nellie," or "My Darling Nellie," until Nellie has first +called you "My Dear," or has given you to understand that such +familiar terms are permissible. As a rule a gentleman will never +err if he says "Dear Miss Nellie," and if the letters are cordially +reciprocated the "Miss" may in time be omitted, or other familiar +terms used instead. In addressing a widow "Dear Madam," or, "My Dear +Madam," will be a proper form until sufficient intimacy will justify +the use of other terms. + +8. RESPECT.--A lady must always be treated with respectful delicacy, +and a gentleman should never use the term "Dear" or "My Dear" under +any circumstances unless he knows it is perfectly acceptable or a long +and friendly acquaintance justifies it. + +9. HOW TO FINISH A LETTER.--A letter will be suggested by the remarks +on how to begin one. "Yours respectfully," "Yours truly," "Yours +sincerely," "Yours affectionately," "Yours ever affectionately," +"Yours most affectionately," "Ever yours," "Ever your own," or +"Yours," are all appropriate, each depending upon the beginning of the +letter. It is difficult to see any phrase which could be added to +them which would carry more meaning than they contain. People can sign +themselves "adorers" and such like, but they do so at the peril of +good taste. It is not good that men or women "worship" each other--if +they succeed in preserving reciprocal love and esteem they will have +cause for great contentment. + +10. PERMISSION.--No young man should ever write to a young lady any +letter, formal or informal, unless he has first sought her permission +to do so. + +11. SPECIAL FORMS.--We give various forms or models of love letters to +be _studied, not copied._ We have given no replies to the forms given, +as every letter written will naturally suggest an answer. A careful +study will be a great help to many who have not enjoyed the advantages +of a literary education. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +FORMS OF SOCIAL LETTERS. + + +_1.--From a Young Lady to a Clergyman Asking a Recommendation._ + + Nantwich, May 18th, 1915 + + Reverend and Dear Sir: + + Having seen an advertisment for a school mistress in the Daily + Times, I have been recommended to offer myself as a candidate. + Will you kindly favor me with a testimonial as to my + character, ability and conduct while at Boston Normal School? + Should you consider that I am fitted for the position, + you would confer a great favor on me if you would interest + yourself in my behalf. + + I remain, Reverend Sir, + Your most obedient and humble servant, + LAURA B. NICHOLS. + + +_2.--Applying for a Position as a Teacher of Music._ + + Scotland, Conn., January 21st, 1915 + + Madam, + + Seeing your advertisement in The Clarion of to-day, I write to + offer my services as a teacher of music in your family. + + I am a graduate of the Peabody Institute, of Baltimore, where + I was thoroughly instructed in instrumental and vocal music. + + I refer by permission to Mrs. A.J. Davis, 1922 Walnut Street; + Mrs. Franklin Hill, 2021 Spring Garden Street, and Mrs. + William Murray, 1819 Spruce Street, in whose families I have + given lessons. + + Hoping that you may see fit to employ me, I am, + Very respectfully yours, + NELLIE REYNOLDS. + + +_3.--Applying for a Situation as a Cook._ + + Charlton Place, September 8th, 1894. + + Madam: + + Having seen your advertisement for a cook in to-day's Times, + I beg to offer myself for your place. I am a thorough cook. I + can make clear soups, entrees, jellies, and all kinds of made + dishes. I can bake, and am also used to a dairy. My wages are + $4 per week, and I can give good reference from my last place, + in which I lived for two years. I am thirty-three years of + age. + + I remain, Madam, + Yours very respectfully, + MARY MOONEY. + + +_4.--Recommending a School Teacher._ + + Ottawa, Ill., February 10th, 1894. + + Col. Geo. H. Haight, + President Board of Trustees, etc. + + Dear Sir: I take pleasure in recommending to your favorable + consideration the application of Miss Hannah Alexander for the + position of teacher in the public school at Weymouth. + + Miss Alexander is a graduate of the Davidson Seminary, and for + the past year has taught a school in this place. My children + have been among her pupils, and their progress has been + entirely satisfactory to me. + + Miss Alexander is a strict disciplinarian, an excellent + teacher, and is thoroughly competent to conduct the school for + which she applies. + + Trusting that you may see fit to bestow upon her the + appointment she seeks, I am. + + Yours very respectfully, + ALICE MILLER. + + +_5.--A Business Introduction._ + + J.W. Brown, Earlville, Ill. + Chicago, Ill., May 1st, 1915 + + My Dear Sir: This will introduce to you Mr. William Channing, + of this city, who visits Earlville on a matter of business, + which he will explain to you in person. You can rely upon his + statements, as he is a gentleman of high character, and should + you be able to render him any assistance, it would be greatly + appreciated by + + Yours truly, + HAIGHT LARABEE. + + +_6.--Introducing One Lady to Another._ + + Dundee, Tenn., May 5th, 1894. + + Dear Mary: + + Allow me to introduce to you my ever dear friend, Miss Nellie + Reynolds, the bearer of this letter. You have heard me speak + of her so often that you will know at once who she is. As I + am sure you will be mutually pleased with each other, I have + asked her to inform you of her presence in your city. Any + attention you may show her will be highly appreciated by + + Yours affectionately, + LIZZIE EICHER. + + +_7.--To a Lady, Apologizing for a Broken Engagement._ + + Albany, N.Y., May 10th, 1894. + + My Dear Miss Lee: + + Permit me to explain my failure to keep my appointment with + you this evening. I was on my way to your house, with the + assurance of a pleasant evening, when unfortunately I was very + unexpectedly called from home on very important business. + + I regret my disappointment, but hope that the future may + afford us many pleasant meetings. + + Sincerely your friend, + IRVING GOODRICH. + + +_8.--Form of an Excuse for a Pupil._ + + Thursday Morning, April 4th + + Mr. Bunnel: + + You will please excuse William for non-attendance at school + yesterday, as I was compelled to keep him at home to attend to + a matter of business. MRS. A. SMITH. + + +_9.--Form of Letter Accompanying a Present._ + + Louisville, July 6, 1895 + + My Dearest Nelly: + + Many happy returns of the day. So fearful was I that it would + escape your memory, that I thought I would send you this + little trinket by way of reminder, I beg you to accept it and + wear it for the sake of the giver. With love and best wishes. + + Believe me ever, your sincere friend, + CAROLINE COLLINS. + + +_10.--Returning Thanks for the Present._ + + Louisville, July 6, 1894. + + Dear Mrs. Collins: + + I am very much obliged to you for the handsome bracelet + you have sent me. How kind and thoughtful it was of you to + remember me on my birthday. I am sure I have every cause to + bless the day, and did I forget it, I have many kind friends + to remind me of it. Again thanking you for your present, which + is far too beautiful for me, and also for your kind wishes. + + Believe me, your most grateful, + BERTHA SMITH. + + +_11.--Congratulating a Friend Upon His Marriage._ + + Menton, N.Y., May 24th, 1894. + + My Dear Everett: + + I have, to-day received the invitation to your wedding, and + as I cannot be present at that happy event to offer my + congratulations in person, I write. + + I am heartily glad you are going to be married, and + congratulate you upon the wisdom of your choice. You have won + a noble as well as a beautiful woman, and one whose love will + make you a happy man to your life's end. May God grant that + trouble may not come near you but should it be your lot, you + will have a wife to whom you can look with confidence for + comfort, and whose good sense and devotion to you will be your + sure and unfailing support. + + That you may both be very happy, and that your happiness may + increase with your years, is the prayer of + + Your Friend, FRANK HOWARD. + + + * * * * * + +LETTER WRITING. + + +Any extravagant flattery should be avoided, both as tending to disgust +those to whom it is addressed, as well as to degrade the writers, +and to create suspicion as to their sincerity. The sentiments should +spring from the tenderness of the heart, and, when faithfully and +delicately expressed, will never be read without exciting sympathy or +emotion in all hearts not absolutely deadened by insensibility. + + +DECLARATION OF AFFECTION. + + Dear Nellie: Will you allow me, in a few plain and simple + words, respectfully to express the sincere esteem and + affection I entertain for you, and to ask whether I may + venture to hope that these sentiments are returned? I love + you truly and earnestly and knowing you admire frankness + and candor in all things, I cannot think that you will take + offense at this letter. Perhaps it is self-flattery to suppose + I have any place in your regard. Should this be so, the error + will carry with it its own punishment, for my happy dream will + be over. I will try to think otherwise, however, and shall + await your answer with hope. Trusting soon to hear from you, I + remain, dear Nellie. + + Sincerely Yours, + J.L. Master + + To Miss Nellie Reynolds, + Hartford, Conn. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +FORMS OF LOVE LETTERS. + + +_12.--An Ardent Declaration._ + + Naperville, Ill., June 10th, 1915 + + My Dearest Laura: + + I can no longer restrain myself from writing to you, dearest + and best of girls, what I have often been on the point of + saying to you. I love you so much that I cannot find words in + which to express my feelings. I have loved you from the very + first day we met, and always shall. Do you blame me because I + write so freely? I should be unworthy of you if I did not tell + you the whole truth. Oh, Laura, can you love me in return? + I am sure I shall not be able to bear it if your answer is + unfavorable. I will study your every wish if you will give + me the right to do so. May I hope? Send just one kind word to + your sincere friend. + + HARRY SMITH. + + +_13.--A Lover's Good-bye Before Starting on a Journey._ + + Pearl St., New York, March 11th, 1894. + + My Dearest Nellie: I am off to-morrow, and yet not altogether, + for I leave my heart behind in your gentle keeping. You need + not place a guard over it, however, for it is as impossible + that it should stay away, as for a bit of steel to rush from a + magnet. The simile is eminently correct for you, my dear girl, + are a magnet, and my heart is as true to you as steel. I shall + make my absence as brief as possible. Not a day, not an hour, + not a minute, shall I waste either in going or returning. Oh, + this business; but I wont complain, for we must have something + for our hive besides honey--something that rhymes with it--and + that we must have it, I must bestir myself. You will find me + a faithful correspondent. Like the spider, I shall drop a line + by (almost) every post; and mind, you must give me letter for + letter. I can't give you credit. Your returns must be prompt + and punctual. + + Passionately yours, + LEWIS SHUMAN. + + To Miss Nellie Carter, + No. -- Fifth Avenue, New York. + + +_14.--From an Absent Lover._ + + Chicago, Ill., Sept. 10, 1915 + + My Dearest Kate: This sheet of paper, though I should cover + it with loving words, could never tell you truly how I long + to see you again. Time does not run on with me now at the + same pace as with other people; the hours seem days, the days + weeks, while I am absent from you, and I have no faith in the + accuracy of clocks and almanacs. Ah! if there were truth in + clairvoyance, wouldn't I be with you at this moment! I wonder + if you are as impatient to see me as I am to fly to you? + Sometimes it seems as if I must leave business and every + thing else to the Fates, and take the first train to Dawson. + However, the hours do move, though they don't appear to, and + in a few more weeks we shall meet again. Let me hear from you + as frequently as possible in the meantime. Tell me of your + health, your amusements and your affections. + + Remember that every word you write will be a comfort to me. + + Unchangeably yours, + WILLIAM MILLER. + + To Miss Kate Martin, + Dawson, N.D. + + +_15.--A Declaration of Love at First Sight._ + + Waterford, Maine, May 8th, 1915 + + Dear Miss Searles: + + Although I have been in your society but once the impression + you have made upon me is so deep and powerful that I cannot + forbear writing to you, in defiance of all rules of etiquette. + Affection is sometimes of slow growth but sometimes it springs + up in a moment. In half an hour after I was introduced to you + my heart was no longer my own, I have not the assurance + to suppose that I have been fortunate enough to create any + interest in yours; but will you allow me to cultivate your + acquaintance in the hope or being able to win your regard in + the course of time? Petitioning for a few lines in reply. + + I remain, dear Miss Searles, + Yours devotedly, + E.C. NICKS. + + Miss E. Searles, + Waterford, Maine. + + +_16.--Proposing Marriage._ + + Wednesday, October 20th, 1894 + + Dearest Etta: + + The delightful hours I have passed in your society have left + an impression on my mind that is altogether indelible, + and cannot be effaced even by time itself. The frequent + opportunities I have possessed, of observing the thousand acts + of amiability and kindness which mark the daily tenor of your + life, have ripened my feelings of affectionate regard into + a passion at once ardent and sincere until I have at length + associated my hopes of future happiness with the idea of you + as a life partner, in them. Believe me, dearest Etta, this is + no puerile fancy, but the matured results of a long and warmly + cherished admiration of your many charms of person and mind. + It is love--pure devoted love, and I feel confident that your + knowledge of my character will lead you to ascribe my motives + to their true source. + + May I then implore you to consult your own heart, and should + this avowal of my fervent and honorable passion for you + be crowned with your acceptance and approval, to grant me + permission to refer the matter to your parents. Anxiously + awaiting your answer, + + I am, dearest Etta, + Your sincere and faithful lover, + GEO. COURTRIGHT. + + To Miss Etta Jay, + Malden, Ill. + + +_17.--From a Gentleman to a Widow._ + + Philadelphia, May 10th, 1915 + + My Dear Mrs. Freeman: + + I am sure you are too clear-sighted not to have observed the + profound impression which your amiable qualities, intelligence + and personal attractions have made upon my heart, and as you + nave not repelled my attentions nor manifested displeasure + when I ventured to hint at the deep interest I felt in your + welfare and happiness, I cannot help hoping that you will + receive an explicit expression of my attachments, kindly and + favorably. I wish it were in my power to clothe the feelings + I entertain for you in such words as should make my pleadings + irresistible; but, after all, what could I say, more than you + are very dear to me, and that the most earnest desire of my + soul is to have the privilege of calling you my wife? Do + you, can you love me? You will not, I am certain, keep me in + suspense, for you are too good and kind to trifle for a moment + with sincerity like mine. Awaiting your answer, + + I remain with respectful affection, + Ever yours, + HENRY MURRAY. + + Mrs. Julia Freeman, + Philadelphia. + + +_18.--From a Lady to an Inconstant Lover._ + + Dear Harry: + + It is with great reluctance that I enter upon a subject which + has given me great pain, and upon which silence has become + impossible if I would preserve my self-respects. You cannot + but be aware that I have just reason for saying that you have + much displeased me. You have apparently forgotten what is due + to me, circumstanced as we are, thus far at least. You cannot + suppose that I can tamely see you disregard my feelings, by + conduct toward other ladies from which I should naturally + have the right to expect you to abstain. I am not so vulgar a + person as to be jealous. When there is cause to infer changed + feelings, or unfaithfulness to promises of constancy, jealousy + is not the remedy. What the remedy is I need not say--we both + of us have it in our hands. I am sure you will agree with me + that we must come to some understanding by which the future + shall be governed. Neither you nor I can bear a divided + allegiance. Believe me that I write more in sorrow than + in anger. You have made me very unhappy, and perhaps + thoughtlessly. But it will take much to reassure me of your + unaltered regard. + + Yours truly, + EMMA. + +[Illustration: HEALTHFUL OUTDOOR EXERCISE.] + +[Illustration: THE HUMAN FACE, LIKE A FLOWER, SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.] + + + * * * * * + +HINTS AND HELPS ON GOOD BEHAVIOR AT ALL TIMES AND AT ALL PLACES. + + +1. It takes acquaintance to found a noble esteem, but politeness +prepares the way. Indeed, as ontaigne [Transcriber's note: Montaigne?] +says, Courtesy begets esteem at sight. Urbanity is half of affability, +and affability is a charm worth possessing. + +2. A pleasing demeanor is often the scales by which the pagan weighs +the Christian. It is not virtue, but virtue inspires it. There are +circumstances in which it takes a great and strong soul to pass under +the little yoke of courtesy, but it is a passport to a greater soul +standard. + +3. Matthew Arnold says, "Conduct is three-fourths of character," +and Christian benignity draws the line for conduct. A high sense of +rectitude, a lowly soul, with a pure and kind heart are elements +of nobility which will work out in the life of a human being at +home--everywhere. "Private refinement makes public gentility." + +4. If you would conciliate the favor of men, rule your resentment. +Remember that if you permit revenge or malice to occupy your soul, you +are ruined. + +5. Cultivate a happy temper; banish the blues; a cheerful saguine +spirit begets cheer and hope. + +6. Be trustworthy and be trustful. + +7. Do not place a light estimate upon the arts of good reading and +good expression; they will yield perpetual interest. + +8. Study to keep versed in world events as well as in local +occurrences, but abhor gossip, and above all scandal. + +9. Banish a self-conscience spirit--the source of much +awkwardness--with a constant aim to make others happy. Remember that +it is incumbent upon gentlemen and ladies alike to be neat in habits. + +10. The following is said to be a correct posture for walking: Head +erect--not too rigid--chin in, shoulders back. Permit no unnecessary +motion about the thighs. Do not lean over to one side in walking, +standing or sitting; the practice is not only ungraceful, but it is +deforming and therefore unhealthful. + +11. Beware of affectation and of Beau Brummel airs. + +12. If the hands are allowed to swing in walking, the are should be +limited, and the lady will manage them much more gracefully, if they +almost touch the clothing. + +13. A lady should not stand with her hands behind her. We could almost +say, forget the hands except to keep them clean, including the nails, +cordial and helpful. One hand may rest easily in the other. Study +repose of attitude here as well as in the rest of the body. + +14. Gestures are for emphasis in public speaking; do not point +elsewhere, as a rule. + +15. Greet your acquaintances as you meet them with a slight bow and +smile, as you speak. + +16. Look the person to whom you speak in the eye. Never under any +circumstances wink at another or communicate by furtive looks. + +17. Should you chance to be the rejected suitor of a lady, bear in +mind your own self-respect, as well as the inexorable laws of society, +and bow politely when you meet her. Reflect that you do not stand +before all woman-kind as you do at her bar. Do not resent the +bitterness of flirtation. No lady or gentleman will flirt. Remember +ever that painful prediscovery is better than later disappointment. +Let such experience spur you to higher exertion. + +18. Discretion should be exercised in introducing persons. Of two +gentlemen who are introduced, if one is superior in rank or age, he is +the one to whom the introduction should be made. Of two social equals, +if one be a stranger in the place his name should be mentioned first. + +19. In general the simpler the introduction the better. + +20. Before introducing a gentleman to a lady, remember that she is +entitled to hold you responsible for the acquaintance. The lady is the +one to whom the gentleman is presented, which may be done thus: "Miss +A, permit me to introduce to you my friend, Mr. B."; or, "Miss A., +allow me to introduce Mr. B." If mutual and near friends of yours, say +simply, "Miss A. Mr. B." + +21. Receive the introduction with a slight bow and the acknowledgment, +"Miss A., I am happy to make your acquaintance"; or, "Mr. B., I +am pleased to meet you." There is no reason why such stereotyped +expressions should always be used, but something similar is expected. +Do not extend the hand usually. + +22. A true lady will avoid familiarity in her deportment towards +gentlemen. A young lady should not permit her gentlemen friends to +address her by her home name, and the reverse is true. Use the title +Miss and Mr. respectively. + +23. Ladies should be frank and cordial towards their lady friends, but +never gushing. + +24. Should you meet a friend twice or oftener, at short intervals, it +is polite to bow slightly each time after the first. + +25. A lady on meeting a gentleman with whom she has slight +acquaintance will make a medium bow--neither too decided nor too +slight or stiff. + +26. For a gentleman to take a young lady's arm, is to intimate that +she is feeble, and young ladies resent the mode. + +27. If a young lady desires to visit any public place where she +expects to meet a gentleman acquaintance, she should have a chaperon +to accompany her, a person of mature years When possible, and never a +giddy girl. + +28. A lady should not ask a gentleman to walk with her. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +A COMPLETE ETIQUETTE IN A FEW PRACTICAL RULES. + + +_1. If you desire to be respected, keep clean. The finest attire and +decorations will add nothing to the appearance or beauty of an untidy +person._ + +_2. Clean clothing, clean skin, clean hands, including the nails, and +clean, white teeth, are a requisite passport for good society._ + +_3. A bad breath should be carefully remedied, whether it proceeds +from the stomach or from decayed teeth._ + +_4. To pick the nose, finger about the ears, or scratch the head or +any other part of the person, in company, is decidedly vulgar._ + +_5. When you call at any private residence, do not neglect to clean +your shoes thoroughly._ + +_6. A gentleman should always remove his hat in the presence of +ladies, except out of doors, and then he should lift or touch his hat +in salutation. On meeting a lady a well-bred gentleman will always +lift his hat._ + +_7. An invitation to a lecture, concert, or other entertainment, +may be either verbal or written, but should always be made at least +twenty-four hours before the time._ + +_8. On entering a hall or church the gentleman should precede the lady +in walking up the aisle, or walk by her side, if the aisle is broad +enough._ + +_9. A gentleman should always precede a lady upstairs, and follow her +downstairs._ + +_10. Visitors should always observe the customs of the church with +reference to standing, sitting, or kneeling during the services._ + +_11. On leaving a hall or church at the close of entertainment or +services, the gentleman should precede the lady._ + +_12. A gentleman walking with a lady should carry the parcels, and +never allow the lady to be burdened with anything of the kind._ + +_13. A gentleman meeting a lady on the street and wishing to speak to +her, should never detain her, but may turn around and walk in the same +direction she is going, until the conversation is completed._ + +_14. If a lady is traveling with a gentleman, simply as a friend, she +should place the amount of her expenses in his hands, or insist on +paying the bills herself._ + +_15. Never offer a lady costly gifts unless you are engaged to her, +for it looks as if you were trying to purchase her good-will; and when +you make a present to a lady use no ceremony whatever._ + +_16. Never carry on a private conversation in company. If secrecy is +necessary, withdraw from the company._ + +_17. Never sit with your back to another without asking to be +excused._ + +_18. It is as unbecoming for a gentleman to sit with legs crossed as +it is for a lady._ + +_19. Never thrum with your fingers, rub your hands, yawn or sigh aloud +in company._ + +_20. Loud laughter, loud talking, or other boisterous manifestations +should be checked in the society of others, especially on the street +and in public places._ + +_21. When you are asked to sing or play in company, do so without +being urged, or refuse in a way that shall be final; and when music is +being rendered in company, show politeness to the musician by giving +attention. It is very impolite to keep up a conversation. If you do +not enjoy the music keep silent._ + +_22. Contentions, contradictions, etc. in society should be carefully +avoided._ + +_23. Pulling out your watch in company, unless asked the time of +day, is a mark of the demi-bred. It looks as if you were tired of the +company and the time dragged heavily._ + +_24. You should never decline to be introduced to any one or all of +the guests present at a party to which you have been invited._ + +_25. A gentleman who escorts a lady to a party, or who has a lady +placed under his care, is under particular obligations to attend to +her wants and see that she has proper attention. He should introduce +her to others, and endeavor to make the evening pleasant. He should +escort her to the supper table and provide for her wants._ + +_26. To take small children or dogs with you on a visit of ceremony is +altogether vulgar, though in visiting familiar friends, children are +not objectionable._ + +[Illustration: Children should early be taught the lesson of Propriety +and Good Manners.] + +[Illustration: AN EGYPTIAN BRIDE'S WEDDING OUTFIT.] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +ETIQUETTE OF CALLS. + + +In the matter of making calls it is the correct thing: + +For the caller who arrived first to leave first. + +To return a first call within a week and in person. + +To call promptly and in person after a first invitation. + +For the mother or chaperon to invite a gentleman to call. + +To call within a week after any entertainment to which one has been +invited. + +You should call upon an acquaintance who has recently returned from a +prolonged absence. + +It as proper to make the first call upon people in a higher social +position, if one is asked to do so. + +It is proper to call, after an engagement has been announced, or a +marriage has taken place, in the family. + +For the older residents in the city or street to call upon the +newcomers to their neighborhood is a long recognized custom. + +It is proper, after a removal from one part of the city to another, to +send out cards with one's new address upon them. + +To ascertain what are the prescribed hours for calling in the place +where one is living, or making a visit, and to adhere to those hours +is a duty that must not be overlooked. + +A gentleman should ask for the lady of the house as well as the young +ladies, and leave cards for her as well as for the head of the family. + +[Illustration: _Improve Your Speech by Reading._] + + + * * * * * + +ETIQUETTE IN YOUR SPEECH. + + +Don't say Miss or Mister without the person's name. + +Don't say pants for trousers. + +Don't say gents for gentlemen. + +Don't say female for woman. + +Don't say elegant to mean everything that pleases you. + +Don't say genteel for well-bred. + +Don't say ain't for isn't. + +Don't say I done it for I did it. + +Don't say he is older than me; say older than I. + +Don't say she does not see any; say she does not see at all. + +Don't say not as I know; say not that I know. + +Don't say he calculates to get off; say he expects to get off. + +Don't say he don't; say he doesn't. + +Don't say she is some better; say she is somewhat better. + +Don't say where are you stopping? say where are you staying? + +Don't say you was; say you were. + +Don't say I say, says I, but simply say I said. + +Don't sign your letters yours etc., but yours truly. + +Don't say lay for lie; lay expresses action; lie expresses rest. + +Don't say them bonnets; say those bonnets. + +Don't say party for person. + +Don't say it looks beautifully, but say it looks beautiful. + +Don't say feller, winder, to-morrer, for fellow, window, to-morrow. + +Don't use slangy words; they are vulgar. + +Don't use profane words; they are sinful and foolish. + +Don't say it was her, when you mean it was she. + +Don't say not at once for at once. + +Don't say he gave me a recommend, but say he gave me a recommendation. + +Don't say the two first for the first two. + +Don't say he learnt me French; say he taught me French. + +Don't say lit the fire; say lighted the fire. + +Don't say the man which you saw; say the man whom you saw. + +Don't say who done it; say who did it + +Don't say if I was rich I would buy a carriage; say if I were rich. + +Don't say if I am not mistaken you are in the wrong; say if I mistake +not. + +Don't say who may you be; say who are you? + +Don't say go lay down; say go lie down. + +Don't say he is taller than me; say taller than I. + +Don't say I shall call upon him; say I shall call on him. + +Don't say I bought a new pair of shoes; say I bought a pair of new +shoes. + +Don't say I had rather not; say I would rather not. + +Don't say two spoonsful; say two spoonfuls. + + + * * * * * + +ETIQUETTE OF DRESS AND HABITS. + + +Don't let one day pass without a thorough cleansing of your person. + +Don't sit down to your evening meal before a complete toilet if you +have company. + +Don't cleanse your nails, your nose or your ears in public. + +Don't use hair dye, hair oil or pomades. + +Don't wear evening dress in daytime. + +Don't wear jewelry of a gaudy character; genuine jewelry modestly worn +is not out of place. + +Don't overdress yourself or walk affectedly. + +Don't wear slippers or dressing-gown or smoking-jacket out of your own +house. + +Don't sink your hands in your trousers' pockets. + +Don't whistle in public places, nor inside of houses either. + +Don't use your fingers or fists to beat a tattoo upon floor desk or +window panes. + +Don't examine other people's papers or letters scattered on their +desk. + +Don't bring a smell of spirits or tobacco into the presence of ladies. + +Never use either in the presence of ladies. + +Don't drink spirits; millions have tried it to their sorrow. + + + * * * * * + +ETIQUETTE ON THE STREET. + + +1. Your conduct on the street should always be modest and dignified. +Ladies should carefully avoid all loud and boisterous conversation or +laughter and all undue liveliness in public. + +2. When walking on the street do not permit yourself to be +absent-minded, as to fail to recognize a friend; do not go along +reading a book or newspaper. + +3. In walking with a lady on the street give her the inner side of +the walk, unless the outside if the safer part; in which case she is +entitled to it. + +4. Your arm should not be given to any lady except your wife or a near +relative, or a very old lady, during the day, unless her comfort or +safety requires it. At night the arm should always be offered; also in +ascending the steps of a public building. + +5. In crossing the street a lady should gracefully raise her dress +a little above her ankle with one hand. To raise the dress with both +hands is vulgar, except in places where the mud is very deep. + +6. A gentleman meeting a lady acquaintance on the street should not +presume to join her in her walk without first asking her permission. + +7. If you have anything to say to a lady whom you may happen to meet +in the street, however intimate you may be, do not stop her, but turn +round and walk in company with her; you can take leave at the end of +the street. + +8. A lady should not venture out upon the street alone after dark. By +so doing she compromises her dignity, and exposes herself to indignity +at the hands of the rougher class. + +9. Never offer to shake hands with a lady in the street if you have on +dark or soiled gloves, as you may soil hers. + +10. A lady does not form acquaintances upon the street, or seek to +attract the attention of the other sex or of persons of her own sex. +Her conduct is always modest and unassuming. Neither does a lady +demand services or favors from a gentleman. She accepts them +graciously, always expressing her thanks. A gentleman will not stand +on the street corners, or in hotel doorways, or store windows and +gaze impertinently at ladies as they pass by. This is the exclusive +business of loafers. + +11. In walking with a lady who has your arm, should you have to cross +the street, do not disengage your arm and go around upon the outside, +unless the lady's comfort renders it necessary. In walking with a +lady, where it is necessary for you to proceed singly, always go +before her. + + + * * * * * + +ETIQUETTE BETWEEN SEXES. + + +1. A lady should be a lady, and a gentleman a gentleman under any and +all circumstances. + +2. FEMALE INDIFFERENCE TO MAN.--There is nothing that affects +the nature and pleasure of man so much as a proper and friendly +recognition from a lady, and as women are more or less dependent upon +man's good-will, either for gain or pleasure, it surely stands to +their interest to be reasonably pleasant and courteous in his presence +or society. Indifference is always a poor investment, whether in +society or business. + +3. GALLANTRY AND LADYISM should be a prominent feature in the +education of young people. Politeness to ladies cultivates the +intellect and refines the soul and he who can be easy and +entertaining in the society of ladies has mastered one of the greatest +accomplishments. There is nothing taught in school, academy or +college, that contributes so much to the happiness of man as a full +development of his social and moral qualities. + +4. LADYLIKE ETIQUETTE.--No woman can afford to treat men rudely. A +lady must have a high intellectual and moral ideal and hold herself +above reproach. She must remember that the art of pleasing and +entertaining gentlemen is infinitely more ornamental than laces, +ribbons or diamonds. Dress and glitter may please man, but it will +never benefit him. + +5. CULTIVATE DEFICIENCIES.--Men and women poorly sexed treat each +other with more or less indifference, whereas a hearty sexuality +inspires both to a right estimation of the faculties and qualities of +each other. Those who are deficient should seek society and overcome +their deficiencies. While some naturally inherit faculties as +entertainers others are compelled to acquire them by cultivation. + +[Illustration: ASKING AN HONEST QUESTION.] + +6. LADIES' SOCIETY.--He who seeks ladies' society should seek an +education and should have a pure heart and a pure mind. Read good, +pure and wholesome literature and study human nature, and you will +always be a favorite in the society circle. + +7. WOMAN HATERS.--Some men with little refinement and strong sensual +feelings virtually insult and thereby disgust and repel every female +they meet. They look upon woman with an inherent vulgarity, and doubt +the virtue and integrity of all alike. But it is because they are +generally insincere and impure themselves, and with such a nature +culture and refinement are out of the question, there must be a +revolution. + +8. MEN HATERS.--Women who look upon all men as odious, corrupt or +hateful, are no doubt so themselves, though they may be clad in +silk and sparkle with diamonds and be as pretty as a lily; but their +hypocrisy will out, and they can never win the heart of a faithful, +conscientious and well balanced man. A good woman has broad ideas and +great sympathy. She respects all men until they are proven unworthy. + +9. FOND OF CHILDREN.--The man who is naturally fond of children will +make a good husband and a good father. So it behooves the young man, +to notice children and cultivate the art of pleasing them. It will be +a source of interest, education and permanent benefit to all. + +10. EXCESSIVE LUXURY.--Although the association with ladies is an +expensive luxury, yet it is not an expensive education. It elevates, +refines, sanctifies and purifies, and improves the whole man. A young +man who has a pure and genuine respect for ladies, will not only make +a good husband, but a good citizen as well. + +11. MASCULINE ATTENTION.--No woman is entitled to any more attention +than her loveliness and ladylike conduct will command. Those who are +most pleasing will receive the most attention, and those who desire +more should aspire to acquire more by cultivating those graces and +virtues which ennoble woman, but no lady should lower or distort her +own true ideal, or smother and crucify her conscience, in order +to please any living man. A good man will admire a good woman, and +deceptions cannot long be concealed. Her show of dry goods or glitter +of jewels cannot long cover up her imperfections or deceptions. + +12. PURITY.--Purity of purpose will solve all social problems. Let all +stand on this exalted sexual platform, and teach every man just how +to treat the female sex, and every woman how to behave towards the +masculine; and it will incomparably adorn the manners of both, make +both happy in each other, and mutually develop each other's sexuality +and humanity. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +PRACTICAL RULES ON TABLE MANNERS. + + +1. Help ladies with a due appreciation; do not overload the plate of +any person you serve. Never pour gravy on a plate without permission. +It spoils the meat for some persons. + +2. Never put anything by force upon any one's plate. It is extremely +ill-bred, though extremely common, to press one to eat of anything. + +3. If at dinner you are requested to help any one to sauce or gravy, +do not pour it over the meat or vegetables, but on one side of them. +Never load down a person's plate with anything. + +4. As soon as you are helped, begin to eat, or at least begin to +occupy yourself with what you have before you. Do not wait till your +neighbors are served--a custom that was long ago abandoned. + +5. Should you, however, find yourself at a table where they have the +old-fashioned steel forks, eat with your knife, as the others do, and +do not let it be seen that you have any objection to doing so. + +6. Bread should be broken. To butter a large piece of bread and then +bite it, as children do, is something the knowing never do. + +7. In eating game or poultry do not touch the bones with your fingers. +To take a bone in the fingers for the purpose of picking it, is looked +upon as being very inelegant. + +8. Never use your own knife or fork to help another. Use rather the +knife or fork of the person you help. + +9. Never send your knife or fork, or either of them, on your plate +when you send for second supply. + +10. Never turn your elbows out when you use your knife and fork. Keep +them close to your sides. + +11. Whenever you use your fingers to convey anything to your mouth or +to remove anything from the mouth, let it be the fingers of the left +hand. + +12. Tea, coffee, chocolate and the like are drank from the cup and +never from the saucer. + +13. In masticating your food, keep your mouth shut; otherwise you will +make a noise that will be very offensive to those around you. + +14. Don't attempt to talk with a full mouth. One thing at a time is as +much as any man can do well. + +15. Should you find a worm or insect in your food, say nothing about +it. + +16. If a dish is distasteful to you, decline it, and without comment. + +17. Never put bones or bits of fruit on the table cloth. Put them on +the side of your plate. + +18. Do not hesitate to take the last piece on the dish, simply because +it is the last. To do so is to directly express the fear that you +would exhaust the supply. + +19. If you would be what you would like to be--abroad, take care that +you _are_ what you would like to be--at home. + +20. Avoid picking your teeth at the table if possible; but if you +must, do it, it you can, where you are not observed. + +21. If an accident of any kind soever should occur during dinner, the +cause being who or what it may, you should not seem to note it. + +22. Should you be so unfortunate as to overturn or to break anything, +you should make no apology. You might let your regret appear in your +face, but it would not be proper to put it in words. + +[Illustration: A PARLOR RECITATION.] + + + * * * * * + +SOCIAL DUTIES. + + + Man In Society is like a flower, + Blown in its native bed. 'Tis there alone + His faculties expanded in full bloom + Shine out, there only reach their proper use. + --COWPER. + + The primal duties shine aloft like stars; + The charities that soothe, and heal, and bless, + Are scatter'd at the feet of man like flowers. + --WORDSWORTH. + + +1. MEMBERSHIP IN SOCIETY.--Many fail to get hold of the idea that they +are members of society. They seem to suppose that the social machinery +of the world is self-operating. They cast their first ballot with an +emotion of pride perhaps, but are sure to pay their first tax with +a groan. They see political organizations in active existence; the +parish, and the church, and other important bodies that embrace in +some form of society all men, are successfully operated; and yet these +young men have no part or lot in the matter. They do not think of +giving a day's time to society. + +2. BEGIN EARLY.--One of the first things a young man should do is to +see that he is acting his part in society. The earlier this is begun +the better. I think that the opponents of secret societies in colleges +have failed to estimate the benefit which it must be to every +member to be obliged to contribute to the support of his particular +organization, and to assume personal care and responsibility as a +member. If these societies have a tendency to teach the lessons of +which I speak, they are a blessed thing. + +3. DO YOUR PART.--Do your part, and be a man among men. Assume your +portion of social responsibility, and see that you discharge it well. +If you do not do this, then you are mean, and society has the right +to despise you just as much as it chooses to do so. You are, to use a +word more emphatic than agreeable, a sneak, and have not a claim upon +your neighbors for a single polite word. + +4. A WHINING COMPLAINER.--Society, as it is called, is far more apt +to pay its dues to the individual than the individual to society. Have +you, young man, who are at home whining over the fact that you +cannot get into society, done anything to give you a claim to social +recognition? Are you able to make any return for social recognition +and social privileges? Do you know anything? What kind of coin do you +propose to pay in the discharge of the obligation which comes upon you +with social recognition? In other words, as a return for what you wish +to have society do for you, what can you do for society? This is a +very important question--more important to you than to society. The +question is, whether you will be a member of society by right, or +by courtesy. If you have so mean a spirit as to be content to be a +beneficiary of society--to receive favors and to confer none--you have +no business in the society to which you aspire. You are an exacting, +conceited fellow. + +5. WHAT ARE YOU GOOD FOR?--Are you a good beau, and are you willing to +make yourself useful in waiting on the ladies on all occasions? Have +you a good set of teeth, which you are willing to show whenever +the wit of the company gets off a good thing? Are you a true, +straightforward, manly fellow, with whose healthful and uncorrupted +nature it is good for society to come in contact? In short, do you +possess anything of any social value? If you do, and are willing +to impart it, society will yield itself to your touch. If you +have nothing, then society, as such, owes you nothing. Christian +philanthropy may put its arm around you, as a lonely young man, about +to spoil for want of something, but it is very sad and humiliating +for a young man to be brought to that. There are people who devote +themselves to nursing young men, and doing them good. If they invite +you to tea, go by all means, and try your hand. If in the course of +the evening, you can prove to them that your society is desirable, you +have won a point. Don't be patronized. + +6. THE MORBID CONDITION.--Young men, you are apt to get into a morbid +state of mind, which declines them to social intercourse. They +become devoted to business with such exclusiveness, that all social +intercourse is irksome. They go out to tea as if they were going +to jail, and drag themselves to a party as to an execution. This +disposition is thoroughly morbid, and to be overcome by going where +you are invited, always, and with a sacrifice of feeling. + +7. THE COMMON BLUNDER.--Don't shrink from contact with anything but +bad morals. Men who affect your unhealthy minds with antipathy, will +prove themselves very frequently to be your best friends and most +delightful companions. Because a man seems uncongenial to you, who +are squeamish and foolish, you have no right to shun him. We become +charitable by knowing men. We learn to love those whom we have +despised by rubbing against them. Do you not remember some instance of +meeting a man or woman whom you had never previously known or cared +to know--an individual, perhaps, against whom you have entertained +the strongest prejudices--but to whom you became bound by a lifelong +friendship through the influence of a three days' intercourse? Yet, +if you had not thus met, you would have carried through life the idea +that it would be impossible for you to give your fellowship to such an +individual. + +8. THE FOOLISHNESS OF MAN.--God has introduced into human character +infinite variety, and for you to say that you do not love and will not +associate with a man because he is unlike you, is not only foolish but +wrong. You are to remember that in the precise manner and decree in +which a man differs from you, do you differ from him; and that from +his standpoint you are naturally as repulsive to him, as he, from +your standpoint, is to you. So, leave all this talk of congeniality to +silly girls and transcendental dreamers. + +9. DO BUSINESS IN YOUR WAY AND BE HONEST.--Do your business in your +own way, and concede to every man the privilege which you claim for +yourself. The more you mix with men, the less you will be disposed to +quarrel, and the more charitable and liberal will you become. The fact +that you do not understand a man, is quite as likely to be your fault +as his. There are a good many chances in favor of the conclusion that, +if you fail to like an individual whose acquaintance you make it is +through your own ignorance and illiberality. So I say, meet every man +honestly; seek to know him; and you will find that in those points +in which he differs from you rests his power to instruct you, enlarge +you, and do you good. Keep your heart open for everybody, and be sure +that you shall have your reward. You shall find a jewel under the most +uncouth exterior; and associated with homeliest manners and oddest +ways and ugliest faces, you will find rare virtues, fragrant little +humanities, and inspiring heroisms. + +10. WITHOUT SOCIETY, WITHOUT INFLUENCE.--Again: you can have no +influence unless you are social. An unsocial man is as devoid of +influence as an ice-peak is of verdure. It is through social contact +and absolute social value alone that you can accomplish any great +social good. It is through the invisible lines which you are able to +attach to the minds with which you are brought into association alone +that you can tow society, with its deeply freighted interests, to the +great haven of your hope. + +11. THE REVENGE OF SOCIETY.--The revenge which society takes upon +the man who isolates himself, is as terrible as it is inevitable. The +pride which sits alone will have the privilege of sitting alone in its +sublime disgust till it drops into the grave. The world sweeps by the +man, carelessly, remorselessly, contemptuously. He has no hold upon +society, because he is no part of it. + +12. THE CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER.--You cannot move men until you +are one of them. They will not follow you until they have heard your +voice, shaken your hand, and fully learned your principles and your +sympathies. It makes no difference how much you know, or how much you +are capable of doing. You may pile accomplishment upon acquisition +mountain high; but if you fail to be a social man, demonstrating to +society that your lot is with the rest, a little child with a song in +its mouth, and a kiss for all and a pair of innocent hands to lay upon +the knees, shall lead more hearts and change the direction of more +lives than you. + +[Illustration: GATHERING ORANGES IN THE SUNNY SOUTH.] + + + * * * * * + +POLITENESS. + + +1. BEAUTIFUL BEHAVIOR.--Politeness has been described as the art of +showing, by external signs, the internal regard we have for others. +But one may be perfectly polite to another without necessarily paying +a special regard for him. Good manners are neither more nor less than +beautiful behavior. It has been well said that "a beautiful form is +better than a beautiful face, and a beautiful behavior is better +than a beautiful form; it gives a higher pleasure than statues or +pictures--it is the finest of the fine arts." + +2. TRUE POLITENESS.--The truest politeness comes of sincerity. It must +be the outcome of the heart, or it will make no lasting impression; +for no amount of polish can dispense with truthfulness. The natural +character must be allowed to appear, freed of its angularities and +asperities. Though politeness, in its best form, should resemble +water--"best when clearest, most simple, and without taste"--yet +genius in a man will always cover many defects of manner, and much +will be excused to the strong and the original. Without genuineness +and individuality, human life would lose much of its interest and +variety, as well as its manliness and robustness of character. + +3. PERSONALITY OF OTHERS.--True politeness especially exhibits itself +in regard for the personality of others. A man will respect the +individuality of another if he wishes to be respected himself. He will +have due regard for his views and opinions, even though they differ +from his own. The well-mannered man pays a compliment to another, and +sometimes even secures his respect by patiently listening to him. He +is simply tolerant and forbearant, and refrains from judging harshly; +and harsh judgments of others will almost invariably provoke harsh +judgments of ourselves. + +4. THE IMPOLITE.--The impolite, impulsive man will, however, sometimes +rather lose his friend than his joke. He may surely be pronounced +a very foolish person who secures another's hatred at the price +of a moment's gratification. It was a saying of Burnel, the +engineer--himself one of the kindest-natured of men--that "spite and +ill-nature are among the most expensive luxuries in life." Dr. Johnson +once said: "Sir, a man has no more right to say a rude thing to +another than to knock him down." + +5. FEELINGS OF OTHERS.--Want of respect for the feelings of others +usually originates in selfishness, and issues in hardness and +repulsiveness of manner. It may not proceed from malignity so much, as +from want of sympathy, and want of delicacy--a want of that perception +of, and attention to, those little and apparently trifling things, by +which pleasure is given or pain occasioned to others. Indeed, it may +be said that in self-sacrifice in the ordinary intercourse of life, +mainly consists the difference between being well and ill bred. +Without some degree of self-restraint in society a man may be found +almost insufferable. No one has pleasure in holding intercourse with +such a person, and he is a constant source of annoyance to those about +him. + +6. DISREGARD OF OTHERS.--Men may show their disregard to others in +various impolite ways, as, for instance, by neglect of propriety in +dress, by the absence of cleanliness, or by indulging in repulsive +habits. The slovenly, dirty person, by rendering himself physically +disagreeable, sets the tastes and feelings of others at defiance, and +is rude and uncivil, only under another form. + +7. THE BEST SCHOOL OF POLITENESS.--The first and best school of +politeness, as of character, is always the home, where woman is the +teacher. The manners of society at large are but the reflex of the +manners of our collective homes, neither better nor worse. Yet, with +all the disadvantages of ungenial homes, men may practice self-culture +of manner as of intellect, and learn by good examples to cultivate a +graceful and agreeable behavior towards others. Most men are like so +many gems in the rough, which need polishing by contact with other and +better natures, to bring out their full beauty and lustre. Some have +but one side polished, sufficient only to show the delicate graining +of the interior; but to bring out the full qualities of the gem, needs +the discipline of experience, and contact with the best examples of +character in the intercourse of daily life. + +8. CAPTIOUSNESS OF MANNER.--While captiousness of manner, and the +habit of disputing and contradicting every thing said, is chilling and +repulsive, the opposite habit of assenting to, and sympathizing +with, every statement made, or emotion expressed, is almost equally +disagreeable. It is unmanly, and is felt to be dishonest. "It may seem +difficult," says Richard Sharp, "to steer always between bluntness and +plain dealing, between merited praises and lavishing indiscriminate +flattery; but it is very easy--good humor, kindheartedness, and +perfect simplicity, being all that are requisite to do what is right +in the right way. At the same time many are impolite, not because +they mean to be so, but because they are awkward, and perhaps know no +better." + +9. SHY PEOPLE.--Again many persons are thought to be stiff, reserved, +and proud, when they are only shy. Shyness is characteristic of +most people of the Teutonic race. From all that can be learned of +Shakespeare, it is to be inferred that he was an exceedingly shy man. +The manner in which his plays were sent into the world--for it is not +known that he edited or authorized the publication of a single one +of them,--and the dates at which they respectively appeared, are mere +matters of conjecture. + +10. SELF-FORGETFULNESS.--True politeness is best evinced by +self-forgetfulness, or self-denial in the interest of others. Mr. +Garfield, our martyred president, was a gentleman of royal type. His +friend, Col. Rockwell, says of him: "In, the midst of his suffering he +never forgets others. For instance, to-day he said to me, 'Rockwell, +there is a poor soldier's widow who came to me before this thing +occurred, and I promised her, she should be provided for. I want you +to see that the matter is attended to at once.' He is the most docile +patient I ever saw." + +11. ITS BRIGHT SIDE.--We have thus far spoken of shyness as a defect. +But there is another way of looking at it; for even shyness has its +bright side, and contains an element of good. Shy men and shy races +are ungraceful and undemonstrative, because, as regards society at +large, they are comparatively unsociable. They do not possess those +elegancies of manner acquired by free intercourse, which distinguish +the social races, because their tendency is to shun society rather +than to seek it. They are shy in the presence of strangers, and shy +even in their own families. They hide their affections under a robe +of reserve, and when they do give way to their feelings, it is only in +some very hidden inner chamber. And yet, the feelings are there, and +not the less healthy and genuine, though they are not made the subject +of exhibition to others. + +12. WORTHY OF CULTIVATION.--While, therefore, grace of manner, +politeness of behavior, elegance of demeanor, and all the arts +that contribute to make life pleasant and beautiful, are worthy of +cultivation, it must not be at the expense of the more solid and +enduring qualities of honesty, sincerity, and truthfulness. The +fountain of beauty must be in the heart more than in the eye, and if +it does not tend to produce beautiful life and noble practice, it will +prove of comparatively little avail. Politeness of manner is not worth +much, unless it is accompanied by polite actions. + + + * * * * * + +INFLUENCE OF GOOD CHARACTER. + + + "Unless above himself he can + Erect himself, how poor a thing is man! + --DANIEL. + + "Character is moral order seen through the medium of an individual + nature--Men of character are the conscience of the society to + which they belong." + --EMERSON. + + The purest treasure mortal times afford, + Is--spotless reputation; that away, + Men are but gilded loam, or painted clay, + A jewel in a ten-times-barr'd-up chest + Is--a bold Spirit in a loyal breast. + --SHAKESPEARE. + + +1. REPUTATION.--The two most precious things this side the grave are +our reputation and our life. But it is to be lamented that the most +contemptible whisper may deprive us of the one, and the weakest weapon +of the other. A wise man, therefore, will be more anxious to deserve +a fair name than to possess it, and this will teach him so to live, as +not to be afraid to die. + +2. CHARACTER.--Character is one of the greatest motive powers in the +world. In its noblest embodiments, it exemplifies human nature in its +highest forms, for it exhibits man at his best. + +3. THE HEART THAT RULES IN LIFE.--Although genius always commands +admiration, character most secures respect. The former is more the +product of brain power, the latter of heart power; and in the long run +it is the heart that rules in life. Men of genius stand to society in +the relation of its intellect as men of character of its conscience: +and while the former are admired, the latter are followed. + +4. THE HIGHEST IDEAL OF LIFE AND CHARACTER.--Common-place though it +may appear, this doing of one's duty embodies the highest ideal of +life and character. There may be nothing heroic about it; but the +common lot of men is not heroic. And though the abiding sense of duty +upholds man in his highest attitudes, it also equally sustains him in +the transaction of the ordinary affairs of every-day existence. +Man's life is "centered in the sphere of common duties." The most +influential of all the virtues are those which are the most in request +for daily use. They wear the best, and last the longest. + +5. WEALTH.--Wealth in the hands of men of weak purpose, or deficient +self-control, or of ill regulated passions is only a temptation and a +snare--the source, it may be, of infinite mischief to themselves, and +often to others. + +On the contrary, a condition of comparative poverty is compatible with +character in its highest form. A man may possess only his industry, +his frugality, his integrity, and yet stand high in the rank of true +manhood. The advice which Burns' father gave him was the best: + + "He bade me act a manly part, though I had ne'er a farthing, + For without an honest, manly heart no man was worth regarding." + +6. CHARACTER IS PROPERTY.--It is the noblest of possessions. It is an +estate in the general good-will and respect of men; they who invest in +it--though they may not become rich in this world's goods--will find +their reward in esteem and reputation fairly and honorably won. And +it is right that in life good qualities should tell--that industry, +virtue, and goodness should rank the highest--and that the really best +men should be foremost. + +7. SIMPLE HONESTY OF PURPOSE.--This in a man goes a long way in life, +if founded on a just estimate of himself and a steady obedience to the +rule he knows and feels to be right. It holds a man straight, gives +him strength and sustenance, and forms a mainspring of vigorous +action. No man is bound to be rich or great--no, nor to be wise--but +every man is bound to be honest and virtuous. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: HOME AMUSEMENTS.] + + + * * * * * + +FAMILY GOVERNMENT. + + +1. GENTLENESS MUST CHARACTERIZE EVERY ACT OF AUTHORITY.--The storm of +excitement that may make the child start, bears no relation to actual +obedience. The inner firmness, that sees and feels a moral conviction +and expects obedience, is only disguised and defeated by bluster. The +more calm and direct it is, the greater certainty it has of dominion. + +2. FOR THE GOVERNMENT OF SMALL CHILDREN.--For the government of small +children speak only in the authority of love, yet authority, loving +and to be obeyed. The most important lesson to impart is obedience to +authority as authority. The question of salvation with most children +will be settled as soon as they learn to obey parental authority. It +establishes a habit and order of mind that is ready to accept divine +authority. This precludes skepticism and disobedience, and induces +that childlike trust and spirit set forth as a necessary state of +salvation. Children that are never made to obey are left to drift +into the sea of passion where the pressure for surrender only tends to +drive them at greater speed from the haven of safety. + +3. HABITS OF SELF-DENIAL.--Form in the child habits of self-denial. +Pampering never matures good character. + +4. EMPHASIZE INTEGRITY.--Keep the moral tissues tough in integrity; +then it will hold a hook of obligations when once set in a sure place. +There is nothing more vital. Shape all your experiments to preserve +the integrity. Do not so reward it that it becomes mercenary. Turning +State's evidence is a dangerous experiment in morals. Prevent deceit +from succeeding. + +5. GUARD MODESTY.--To be brazen is to imperil some of the best +elements of character. Modesty may be strengthened into a becoming +confidence, but brazen facedness can seldom be toned down into +decency. It requires the miracle of grace. + +6. PROTECT PURITY.--Teach your children to loathe impurity. Study +the character of their playmates. Watch their books. Keep them from +corruption at all cost. The groups of youth in the school and in +society, and in business places, seed with improprieties of word and +thought. Never relax your vigilance along this exposed border. + +[Illustration: BOTH PUZZLED.] + +7. THREATEN THE LEAST POSSIBLE.--In family government threaten the +least possible. Some parents rattle off their commands with penalties +so profusely that there is a steady roar of hostilities about the +child's head. These threats are forgotten by the parent and unheeded +by the child. All government is at an end. + +8. DO NOT ENFORCE TOO MANY COMMANDS.--Leave a few things within the +range of the child's knowledge that are not forbidden. Keep your word +good, but do not have too much of it out to be redeemed. + +9. PUNISH AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE.--Sometimes punishment is necessary, +but the less it is resorted to the better. + +10. NEVER PUNISH IN A PASSION.--Wrath only becomes cruelty. There is +no moral power in it. When you seem to be angry you can do no good. + +11. BRUTISH VIOLENCE ONLY MULTIPLIES OFFENDERS.--Striking and beating +the body seldom reaches the soul. Fear and hatred beget rebellion. + +12. PUNISH PRIVATELY.--Avoid punishments that break down self-respect. +Striking the body produces shame and indignation. It is enough for the +other children to know that discipline is being administered. + +13. NEVER STOP SHORT OF SUCCESS.--When the child is not conquered the +punishment has been worse than wasted. Reach the point where neither +wrath nor sullenness remain. By firm persistency and persuasion +require an open look of recognition and peace. It is only evil to stir +up the devil unless he is cast out. Ordinarily one complete victory +will last a child for a lifetime. But if the child relapses, repeat +the dose with proper accompaniments. + +14. DO NOT REQUIRE CHILDREN TO COMPLAIN OF THEMSELVES FOR PARDON.--It +begets either sycophants or liars. It is the part of the government to +detect offences. It reverses the order of matters to shirk this duty. + +15. GRADE AUTHORITY UP TO LIBERTY.--The growing child must have +experiments of freedom. Lead him gently into the family. Counsel +with him. Let him plan as he can. By and by he has the confidence of +courage without the danger of exposures. + +16. RESPECT.--Parents must respect each other. Undermining either +undermines both. Always govern in the spirit of love. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +CONVERSATION. + + +Some men are very entertaining for a first interview, but after that +they are exhausted, and run out; on a second meeting we shall find +them very flat and monotonous; like hand-organs, we have heard all +their tunes.--COULTON. + +He who sedulously attends, pointedly asks, calmly speaks, coolly +answers, and ceases when he has no more to say, is in possession of +some of the best requisites of man.--LAVATER. + +Beauty is never so lovely as when adorned with the smile, and +conversation never sits easier upon us than when we know and +then discharge ourselves in a symphony of Laughter, which may not +improperly be called the Chorus of Conversation.--STEELE. + +The first ingredient in Conversation is Truth, the next Good Sense, +the third Good Humor, and the fourth Wit.--SIR WILLIAM TEMPLE. + + +HOME LESSONS IN CONVERSATION. + +Say nothing unpleasant when it can be avoided. + +Avoid satire and sarcasm. + +Never repeat a word that was not intended for repetition. + +Cultivate the supreme wisdom, which consists less in saying what ought +to be said than in not saying what ought not to be said. + +Often cultivate "flashes of silence." + +It is the larger half of the conversation to listen well. + +Listen to others patiently, especially the poor. + +Sharp sayings are an evidence of low breeding. + +Shun faultfindings and faultfinders. + +Never utter an uncomplimentary word against anyone. + +Compliments delicately hinted and sincerely intended are a grace in +conversation. + +Commendation of gifts and cleverness properly put are in good taste, +but praise of beauty is offensive. + +Repeating kind expressions is proper. + +Compliments given in a joke may be gratefully received in earnest. + +The manner and tone are important parts of a compliment. + +Avoid egotism. + +Don't talk of yourself, or of your friends or your deeds. + +Give no sign that you appreciate your own merits. + +Do not become a distributer of the small talk of a community. The +smiles of your auditors do not mean respect. + +Avoid giving the impression of one filled with "suppressed egotism." + +Never mention your own peculiarities; for culture destroys vanity. + +Avoid exaggeration. + +Do not be too positive. + +Do not talk of display oratory. + +Do not try to lead in conversation looking around to enforce silence. + +Lay aside affected, silly etiquette for the natural dictates of the +heart. + +Direct the conversation where others can join with you and impart to +you useful information. + +Avoid oddity. Eccentricity is shallow vanity. + +Be modest. + +Be what you wish to seem. + +Avoid repeating a brilliant or clever saying. + +[Illustration: THINKING ONLY OF DRESS.] + +If you find bashfulness or embarrassment coming upon you, do or say +something at once. The commonest matter gently stated is better than +an embarrassing silence. Sometimes changing your position, or looking +into a book for a moment may relieve your embarrassment, and dispel +any settling stiffness. + +Avoid telling many stories, or repeating a story more than once in the +same company. + +Never treat any one as if you simply wanted him to tell stories. +People laugh and despise such a one. + +Never tell a coarse story. No wit or preface can make it excusable. + +Tell a story, if at all, only as an illustration, and not for itself. +Tell it accurately. + +Be careful in asking questions for the purpose of starting +conversation or drawing out a person, not to be rude or intrusive. + +Never take liberties by staring, or by any rudeness. + +Never infringe upon any established regulations among strangers. + +Do not always prove yourself to be the one in the right. The right +will appear. You need only give it a chance. + +Avoid argument in conversation. It is discourteous to your host. + +Cultivate paradoxes in conversation with your peers. They add interest +to common-place matters. To strike the harmless faith of ordinary +people in any public idol is waste, but such a movement with those +able to reply is better. + +Never discourse upon your ailments. + +Never use words of the meaning or pronunciation of which you are +uncertain. + +Avoid discussing your own or other people's domestic concerns. + +Never prompt a slow speaker, as if you had all the ability. In +conversing with a foreigner who may be learning our language, it is +excusable to help him in some delicate way. + +Never give advice unasked. + +Do not manifest impatience. + +Do not interrupt another when speaking. + +Do not find fault, though you may gently criticise. + +Do not appear to notice inaccuracies of speech in others. + +Do not always commence a conversation by allusion to the weather. + +Do not, when narrating an incident, continually say, "you see," "you +know." + +Do not allow yourself to lose temper or speak excitedly. + +Do not introduce professional or other topics that the company +generally cannot take an interest in. + +Do not talk very loud. A firm, clear, distinct, yet mild, gentle, and +musical voice has great power. + +Do not be absent-minded, requiring the speaker to repeat what has been +said that you may understand. + +Do not try to force yourself into the confidence of others. + +Do not use profanity, vulgar terms, words of double meaning, or +language that will bring the blush to anyone. + +Do not allow yourself to speak ill of the absent one if it can be +avoided. The day may come when some friend will be needed to defend +you in your absence. + +Do not speak with contempt and ridicule of a locality which you may be +visiting. Find something to truthfully praise and commend; thus make +yourself agreeable. + +Do not make a pretense of gentility, nor parade the fact that you are +a descendant of any notable family. You must pass for just what you +are, and must stand on your own merit. + +Do not contradict. In making a correction say, "I beg your pardon, +but I had the impression that it was so and so." Be careful in +contradicting, as you may be wrong yourself. + +Do not be unduly familiar; you will merit contempt if you are. Neither +should you be dogmatic in your assertions, arrogating to yourself such +consequences in your opinions. + +Do not be too lavish in your praise of various members of your own +family when speaking to strangers; the person to whom you are speaking +may know some faults that you do not. + +Do not feel it incumbent upon yourself to carry your point in +conversation. Should the person with whom you are conversing feel the +same, your talk may lead into violent argument. + +Do not try to pry into the private affairs of others by asking what +their profits are, what things cost, whether Melissa ever had a beau, +and why Amarette never got married? All such questions are extremely +impertinent and are likely to meet with rebuke. + +Do not whisper in company; do not engage in private conversation; do +not speak a foreign language which the general company present may not +understand, unless it is understood that the foreigner is unable to +speak your own language. + +[Illustration: WIDOWER JONES AND WIDOW SMITH.] + + + * * * * * + +THE TOILET. + +OR + +The Care of the Person. + + +IMPORTANT RULES. + +1. GOOD APPEARANCE.--The first care of all persons should be for +their personal appearance. Those who are slovenly or careless in their +habits are unfit for refined society, and cannot possibly make a good +appearance in it. A well-bred person will always cultivate habits +of the most scrupulous neatness. A gentleman or lady is always well +dressed. The garment may be plain or of coarse material, or even worn +"thin and shiny," but if it is carefully brushed and neat, it can be +worn with dignity. + +2. PERSONAL CLEANLINESS.--Personal appearance depends greatly on the +careful toilet and scrupulous attention to dress. The first point +which marks the gentleman or lady in appearance is rigid cleanliness. +This remark supplies to the body and everything which covers it. A +clean skin--only to be secured by frequent baths--is indispensable. + +3. THE TEETH.--The teeth should receive the utmost attention. Many +a young man has been disgusted with a lady by seeing her unclean and +discolored teeth. It takes but a few moments, and if necessary secure +some simple tooth powder or rub the teeth thoroughly every day with a +linen handkerchief, and it will give the teeth and mouth a beautiful +and clean appearance. + +4. THE HAIR AND BEARD.--The hair should be thoroughly brushed and well +kept, and the beard of men properly trimmed. Men should not let their +hair grow long and shaggy. + +5. UNDERCLOTHING.--The matter of cleanliness extends to all articles +of clothing, underwear as well as the outer clothing. Cleanliness is +a mark of true utility. The clothes need not necessarily be of a rich +and expensive quality, but they can all be kept clean. Some persons +have an odor about them that is very offensive, simply on account of +their underclothing being worn too long without washing. This odor of +course cannot be detected by the person who wears the soiled garments, +but other persons easily detect it and are offended by it. + +6. THE BATH.--No person should think for a moment that they can be +popular in society without regular bathing. A bath should be taken +at least once a week, and if the feet perspire they should be washed +several times a week, as the case may require. It is not unfrequent +that young men are seen with dirty ears and neck. This is unpardonable +and boorish, and shows gross neglect. Occasionally a young lady will +be called upon unexpectedly when her neck and smiling face are +not emblems of cleanliness. Every lady owes it to herself to be +fascinating; every gentleman is bound, for his own sake, to be +presentable; but beyond this there is the obligation to society, to +one's friends, and to those with whom we may be brought in contact. + +7. SOILED GARMENTS.--A young man's garments may not be expensive, yet +there is no excuse for wearing a soiled collar and a soiled shirt, or +carrying a soiled handkerchief. No one should appear as though he +had slept in a stable, shaggy hair, soiled clothing or garments +indifferently put on and carelessly buttoned. A young man's vest +should always be kept buttoned in the presence of ladies. 8. THE +BREATH.--Care should be taken to remedy an offensive breath without +delay. Nothing renders one so unpleasant to one's acquaintance, or +is such a source of misery to one's self. The evil may be from some +derangement of the stomach or some defective condition of the teeth, +or catarrhal affection of the throat and nose. See remedies in other +portions of the book. + + + * * * * * + +A YOUNG MAN'S PERSONAL APPEARANCE. + + +Dress changes the manners.--VOLTAIRE. + +Whose garments wither, shall receive faded smiles.--SHERIDAN KNOWLES. + +Men of sense follow fashion so far that they are neither conspicuous +for their excess nor peculiar by their opposition to it.--ANONYMOUS. + + +1. A well-dressed man does not require so much an extensive as a +varied wardrobe. He does not need a different suit for every season +and every occasion, but if he is careful to select clothes that are +simple and not striking or conspicuous, he may use the garment over +and over again without their being noticed, provided they are suitable +to the season and the occasion. + +2. A clean shirt, collar and cuffs always make a young man look neat +and tidy, even if his clothes are not of the latest pattern and are +somewhat threadbare. + +3. Propriety is outraged when a man of sixty dresses like a youth +or sixteen. It is bad manners for a gentleman to use perfumes to a +noticeable extent. Avoid affecting singularity in dress. Expensive +clothes are no sign of a gentleman. + +4. When dressed for company, strive to appear easy and natural. +Nothing is more distressing to a sensitive person, or more ridiculous +to one gifted with refinement, than to see a lady laboring under the +consciousness of a fine gown or a gentleman who is stiff, awkward and +ungainly in a brand-new coat. + +5. Avoid what is called the "ruffianly style of dress" or the slouchy +appearance of a half-unbottoned vest, and suspenderless pantaloons. +That sort of affectation is, if possible, even more disgusting than +the painfully elaborate frippery of the dandy or dude. Keep your +clothes well brushed and keep them cleaned. Slight spots can be +removed with a little sponge and soap and water. + +6. A gentleman should never wear a high hat unless he has on a frock +coat or a dress suit. + +7. A man's jewelry should be good and simple. Brass or false +jewelry, like other forms of falsehood, is vulgar. Wearing many cheap +decorations is a serious fault. + +[Illustration: THE DUDE OF THE 17TH CENTURY.] + +8. If a man wears a ring it should be on the third finger of the left +hand. This is the only piece of jewelry a man is allowed to wear that +does not serve a purpose. + +9. Wearing imitations of diamonds is always in very bad taste. + +10. Every man looks better in a full beard if he keeps it well +trimmed. If a man shaves he should shave at least every other day, +unless he is in the country. + +11. The finger-nails should be kept cut, and the teeth should be +cleaned every morning, and kept clear from tarter. A man who does +not keep his teeth clean does not look like a gentleman when he shows +them. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +DRESS. + + + We sacrifice to dress, till household joys + And comforts cease. Dress drains our cellar dry, + And keeps our larder lean. Puts out our fires, + And introduces hunger, frost and woe, + Where peace and hospitality might reign. + --COWPER + + +1. GOD IS A LOVER OF DRESS.--We cannot but feel that God is a lover +of dress. He has put on robes of beauty and glory upon all his works. +Every flower is dressed in richness; every field blushes beneath a +mantle of beauty; every star is veiled in brightness; every bird is +clothed in the habiliments of the most exquisite taste. The cattle +upon the thousand hills are dressed by the hand divine. Who, studying +God in his works, can doubt, that he will smile upon the evidence of +correct taste manifested by his children in clothing the forms he has +made them? + +2. LOVE OF DRESS.--To love dress is not to be a slave of fashion; to +love dress only is the test of such homage. To transact the business +of charity in a silken dress, and to go in a carriage to the work, +injures neither the work nor the worker. The slave of fashion is one +who assumes the livery of a princess, and then omits the errand of the +good human soul; dresses in elegance, and goes upon no good errand, +and thinks and does nothing of value to mankind. + +3. BEAUTY IN DRESS.--Beauty in dress is a good thing, rail at it who +may. But it is a lower beauty, for which a higher beauty should not +be sacrificed. They love dresses too much who give it their first +thought, their best time, or all their money; who for it neglect +the culture of their mind or heart, or the claims of others on their +service; who care more for their dress than their disposition; who are +troubled more by an unfashionable bonnet than a neglected duty. + +4. SIMPLICITY OF DRESS.--Female lovliness never appears to so good +advantage as when set off by simplicity of dress. No artist ever decks +his angels with towering feathers and gaudy jewelry; and our dear +human angels--if they would make good their title to that name--should +carefully avoid ornaments, which properly belong to Indian squaws and +African princesses. These tinselries may serve to give effect on the +stage, or upon the ball room floor, but in daily life there is no +substitute for the charm of simplicity. A vulgar taste is not to +be disguised by gold or diamonds. The absence of a true taste and +refinement of delicacy cannot be compensated for by the possession of +the most princely fortune. Mind measures gold, but gold cannot measure +mind. Through dress the mind may be read, as through the delicate +tissue the lettered page. A modest woman will dress modestly; a really +refined and intelligent woman will bear the marks of careful selection +and faultless taste. + +5. PEOPLE OF SENSE.--A coat that has the mark of use upon it, is a +recommendation to the people of sense, and a hat with too much nap, +and too high lustre, a derogatory circumstance. The best coats in +our streets are worn on the backs of penniless fops, broken down +merchants, clerks with pitiful salaries, and men that do not pay +up. The heaviest gold chains dangle from the fobs of gamblers and +gentlemen of very limited means; costly ornaments on ladies, indicate +to the eyes that are well opened, the fact of a silly lover or husband +cramped for funds. + +6. PLAIN AND NEAT.--When a pretty woman goes by in plain and neat +apparel, it is the presumption that she has fair expectations, and +a husband that can show a balance in his favor. For women are like +books,--too much gilding makes men suspicious, that the binding is the +most important part. The body is the shell of the soul, and the dress +is the husk of the body; but the husk generally tells what the kernel +is. As a fashionably dressed young lady passed some gentlemen, one of +them raised his hat, whereupon another, struck by the fine appearance +of the lady, made some inquiries concerning her, and was answered +thus: "She makes a pretty ornament in her father's house, but +otherwise is of no use." + +7. THE RICHEST DRESS.--The richest dress is always worn on the soul. +The adornments that will not perish, and that all men most admire, +shine from the heart through this life. God has made it our highest, +holiest duty, to dress the souls he has given us. It is wicked to +waste it in frivolity. It is a beautiful, undying, precious thing. If +every young woman would think of her soul when she looks in the +glass, would hear the cry of her naked mind when she dallies away her +precious hours at her toilet, would listen to the sad moaning of her +hollow heart, as it wails through her idle, useless life, something +would be done for the elevation of womanhood. + +8. DRESSING UP.--Compare a well-dressed body with a well-dressed mind. +Compare a taste for dress with a taste for knowledge, culture, +virtue, and piety. Dress up an ignorant young woman in the "height of +fashion"; put on plumes and flowers, diamonds and gewgaws; paint her +face, girt up her waist, and I ask you, if this side of a painted and +feathered savage you can find anything more unpleasant to behold. And +yet such young women we meet by the hundred every day on the street +and in all our public places. It is awful to think of. + +9. DRESS AFFECTS OUR MANNERS.--A man who is badly dressed, feels +chilly, sweaty, and prickly. He stammers, and does not always tell the +truth. He means to, perhaps, but he can't. He is half distracted about +his pantaloons, which are much to short, and are constantly hitching +up; or his frayed jacket and crumpled linen harrow his soul, and quite +unman him. He treads on the train of a lady's dress, and says, "Thank +you", sits down on his hat, and wishes the "desert were his dwelling +place." + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +BEAUTY. + + + "She walks in beauty, like the night + Of cloudless climes and starry skies: + And all that's best of dark and bright + Meet her in aspect and in her eyes; + Thus mellowed to that tender light + Which heaven to gaudy day denies." + --BYRON. + + +1. THE HIGHEST STYLE OF BEAUTY.--The highest style of beauty to be +found in nature pertains to the human form, as animated and lighted +up by the intelligence within. It is the expression of the soul that +constitutes this superior beauty. It is that which looks out of the +eye, which sits in calm majesty on the brow, lurks on the lip, smiles +on the cheek, is set forth in the chiselled lines and features of +the countenance, in the general contour of figure and form, in +the movement, and gesture, and tone; it is this looking out of the +invisible spirit that dwells within, this manifestation of the higher +nature, that we admire and love; this constitutes to us the beauty of +our species. + +2. BEAUTY WHICH PERISHES NOT.--There is a beauty which perishes not. +It is such as the angels wear. It forms the washed white robes of the +saints. It wreathes the countenance of every doer of good. It adorns +every honest face. It shines in the virtuous life. It molds the hands +of charity. It sweetens the voice of sympathy. It sparkles on the brow +of wisdom. It flashes in the eye of love. It breathes in the spirit of +piety. It is the beauty of the heaven of heavens. It is that which may +grow by the hand of culture in every human soul. It is the flower of +the spirit which blossoms on the tree of life. Every soul may plant +and nurture it in its own garden, in its own Eden. + +3. WE MAY ALL BE BEAUTIFUL.--This is the capacity of beauty that God +has given to the human soul, and this the beauty placed within +the reach of all. We may all be beautiful. Though our forms may +be uncomely and our features not the prettiest, our spirits may be +beautiful. And this inward beauty always shines through. A beautiful +heart will flash out in the eye. A lovely soul will glow in the face. +A sweet spirit will tune the voice, wreathe the countenance in charms. +Oh, there is a power in interior beauty that melts the hardest heart! + +4. WOMAN THE MOST PERFECT TYPE OF BEAUTY.--Woman, by common consent, +we regard as the most perfect type of beauty on earth. To her we +ascribe the highest charms belonging to this wonderful element so +profusely mingled in all God's works. Her form is molded and finished +in exquisite delicacy of perfection. The earth gives us no form +more perfect, no features more symmetrical, no style more chaste, no +movements more graceful, no finish more complete; so that our artists +ever have and ever will regard the woman-form of humanity as the +most perfect earthly type of beauty. This form is most perfect and +symmetrical in the youth of womanhood; so that the youthful woman is +earth's queen of beauty. This is true, not only by the common consent +of mankind, but also by the strictest rules of scientific criticism. + +5. FADELESS BEAUTY.--There cannot be a picture without its bright +spots; and the steady contemplation of what is bright in others, has +a reflex influence upon the beholder. It reproduces what it reflects. +Nay, it seems to leave an impress even upon the countenance. The +feature, from having a dark, sinister aspect, becomes open, serene, +and sunny. A countenance so impressed, has neither the vacant stare of +the idiot, nor the crafty, penetrating look of the basilisk, but the +clear, placid aspect of truth and goodness. The woman who has such +a face is beautiful. She has a beauty which changes not with the +features, which fades not with years. It is beauty of expression. It +is the only kind of beauty which can be relied upon for a permanent +influence with the other sex. The violet will soon cease to smile. +Flowers must fade. The love that has nothing but beauty to sustain it, +soon withers away. + +[Illustration: HAND IN HAND.] + +6. A PRETTY WOMAN PLEASES THE EYE, a good woman, the heart. The one +is a jewel, the other a treasure. Invincible fidelity, good humor, and +complacency of temper, outlive all the charms of a fine face, and make +the decay of it invisible. That is true beauty which has not only +a substance, but a spirit; a beauty that we must intimately know to +justly appreciate. + +7. THE WOMAN YOU LOVE BEST.--Beauty, dear reader, is probably the +woman you love best, but we trust it is the beauty of soul and +character, which sits in calm majesty on the brow, lurks on the lip, +and will outlive what is called a fine face. + +8. THE WEARING OF ORNAMENTS.--Beauty needs not the foreign aid +of ornament, but is when unadorned adorned the most, is a trite +observation; but with a little qualification it is worthy of general +acceptance. Aside from the dress itself, ornaments should be very +sparingly used--at any rate, the danger lies in over-loading oneself, +and not in using too few. A young girl, and especially one of a light +and airy style of beauty, should never wear gems. A simple flower +in her hair or on her bosom is all that good taste will permit. When +jewels or other ornaments are worn, they should be placed where you +desire the eye of the spectator to rest, leaving the parts to which +you do not want attention called as plain and negative as possible. +There is no surer sign of vulgarity than a profusion of heavy jewelry +carried about upon the person. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +SENSIBLE HELPS TO BEAUTY. + + +1. FOR SCRAWNY NECK.--Take off your tight collars, feather boas and +such heating things. Wash neck and chest with hot water, then rub in +sweet oil all that you can work in. Apply this every night before you +retire and leave the skin damp with it while you sleep. + +2. FOR RED HANDS.--Keep your feet warm by soaking them often in hot +water, and keep your hands out of the water as much as possible. Rub +your hands with the skin of a lemon and it will whiten them. If your +skin will bear glycerine after you have washed, pour into the palm +a little glycerine and lemon juice mixed, and rub over the hands and +wipe off. + +3. NECK AND FACE.--Do not bathe the neck and face just before or after +being out of doors. It tends to wrinkle the skin. + +4. SCOWLS.--Never allow yourself to scowl, even if the sun be in your +eyes. That scowl will soon leave its trace and no beauty will outlive +it. + +5. WRINKLED FOREHEAD.--If you wrinkle your forehead when you talk +or read, visit an oculist and have your eyes tested, and then wear +glasses to fit them. + +6. OLD LOOKS.--Sometimes your face looks old because it is tired. Then +apply the following wash and it will make you look younger: Put three +drops of ammonia, a little borax, a tablespoonful of bay rum, and a +few drops of camphor into warm water and apply to your face. Avoid +getting it into your eyes. + +7. THE BEST COSMETIC.--Squeeze the juice of a lemon into a pint of +sweet milk. Wash the face with it every night and in the morning wash +off with warm rain water. This will produce a very beautiful effect +upon the skin. + +8. SPOTS ON THE FACE.--Moles and many other discolorations may be +removed from the face by a preparation composed of one part chemically +pure carbolic acid and two parts pure glycerine. Touch the spots with +a camel's-hair pencil, being careful that the preparation does not +come in contact with the adjacent skin. Five minutes after touching, +bathe with soft water and apply a little vaseline. It may be necessary +to repeat the operation, but if persisted in, the blemishes will be +entirely removed. + +9. WRINKLES.--This prescription is said to cure wrinkles: Take one +ounce of white wax and melt it to a gentle heat. Add two ounces of the +juice of lily bulbs, two ounces of honey, two drams of rose water, +and a drop or two of ottar of roses. Apply twice a day, rubbing the +wrinkles the wrong way. Always use tepid water for washing the face. + +10. THE HAIR.--The hair must be kept free from dust or it will fall +out. One of the best things for cleaning it, is a raw egg rubbed into +the roots and then washed out in several waters. The egg furnishes +material for the hair to grow on, while keeping the scalp perfectly +clean. Apply once a month. + +11. LOSS OF HAIR.--When through sickness or headache the hair falls +out, the following tonic may be applied with good effect: Use one +ounce of glycerine, one ounce of bay rum, one pint of strong sage tea, +and apply every other night rubbing well into the scalp. + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO KEEP THE BLOOM AND GRACE OF YOUTH. + +THE SECRET OF ITS PRESERVATION. + + +[Illustration: MRS. WM. McKINLEY.] + + +1. The question most often asked by women is regarding the art of +retaining, with advancing years, the bloom and grace of youth. This +secret is not learned through the analysis of chemical compounds, +but by a thorough study of nature's laws peculiar to their sex. It is +useless for women with wrinkled faces, dimmed eyes and blemished skins +to seek for external applications of beautifying balms and lotions +to bring the glow of life and health into the face, and yet there are +truths, simple yet wonderful, whereby the bloom of early life can +be restored and retained, as should be the heritage of all God's +children, sending the light of beauty into every woman's face. The +secret: + +2. Do not bathe in hard water; soften it with a few drops of ammonia, +or a little borax. + +3. Do not bathe the face while it is very warm, and never use very +cold water. + +4. Do not attempt to remove dust with cold water; give your face a hot +bath, using plenty of good soap, then give it a thorough rinsing with +warm water. + +5. Do not rub your face with a coarse towel. + +6. Do not believe you can remove wrinkles by filling in the crevices +with powder. Give your face a Russian bath every night; that is, bathe +it with water so hot that you wonder how you can bear it, and then, +a minute after, with moderately cold water, that will make your face +glow with warmth; dry it with a soft towel. + +[Illustration: MALE. FEMALE. Showing the Difference in Form and +Proportion.] + + + * * * * * + +FORM AND DEFORMITY. + + +1. PHYSICAL DEFORMITIES.--Masquerading is a modern accomplishment. +Girls wear tight shoes, burdensome skirts, corsets, etc., all of which +prove so fatal to their health. At the age of seventeen or eighteen, +our "young ladies" are sorry specimens of feminality; and palpitators, +cosmetics and all the modern paraphernalia are required to make them +appear fresh and blooming. Man is equally at fault. A devotee to all +the absurd devices of fashion, he practically asserts that "dress +makes the man." But physical deformities are of far less importance +than moral imperfections. + +2. DEVELOPMENT OF THE INDIVIDUAL.--It is not possible for human beings +to attain their full stature of humanity, except by loving long +and perfectly. Behold that venerable man! he is mature in judgment, +perfect in every action and expression, and saintly in goodness. You +almost worship as you behold. What rendered him thus perfect? What +rounded off his natural asperities, and moulded up his virtues? Love +mainly. It permeated every pore, and seasoned every fibre of his +being, as could nothing else. Mark that matronly woman. In the bosom +of her family she is more than a queen and goddess combined. All her +looks and actions express the outflowing of some or all of the human +virtues. To know her is to love her. She became thus perfect, not in a +day or year, but by a long series of appropriate means. Then by what? +Chiefly in and by love, which is specially adapted thus to develop +this maturity. + +3. PHYSICAL STATURE.--Men and women generally increase in stature +until the twenty-fifth year, and it is safe to assume, that perfection +of function is not established until maturity of bodily development +is completed. The physical contour of these representations plainly +exhibits the difference in structure, and also implies difference of +function. Solidity and strength are represented by the organization of +the male, grace and beauty by that of the female. His broad shoulders +represent physical power and the right of dominion, while her bosom is +the symbol of love and nutrition. + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO DETERMINE A PERFECT HUMAN FIGURE. + + +The proportions of the perfect human figure are strictly mathematical. +The whole figure is six times the length of the foot. Whether the form +be slender or plump, this rule holds good. Any deviation from it is a +departure from the highest beauty of proportion. The Greeks made all +their statues according to this rule. The face, from the highest point +of the forehead, where the hair begins, to the end of the chin, is +one-tenth of the whole stature. The hand, from the wrist to the end +of the middle finger, is the same. The chest is a fourth, and from the +nipples to the top of the head is the same. From the top of the chest +to the highest point of the forehead is a seventh. If the length of +the face, from the roots of the hair to the chin, be divided into +three equal parts, the first division determines the point where the +eyebrows meet, and the second the place of the nostrils. The navel is +the central point of the human body, and if a man should lie on his +back with his arms and legs extended, the periphery of the circle +which might be described around him, with the navel for its center, +would touch the extremities of his hands and feet. The height from +the feet to the top of the head is the same as the distance from the +extremity of one hand to the extremity of the other when the arms are +extended. + +[Illustration: Lady's Dress in the days of Greece.] + +The Venus de Medici is considered the most perfect model of the female +forms, and has been the admiration of the world for ages. Alexander +Walker, after minutely describing this celebrated statue, says: "All +these admirable characteristics of the female form, the mere existence +of which in woman must, one is tempted to imagine, be even to herself, +a source of ineffable pleasure, these constitute a being worthy, as +the personification of beauty, of occupying the temples of Greece; +present an object finer, alas, than Nature even seems capable of +producing; and offer to all nations and ages a theme of admiration and +delight." Well might Thomson say: + + So stands the statue that enchants the world, + So, bending, tries to vail the matchless boast-- + The mingled beauties of exulting Greece. + +We beg our readers to observe the form of the waist (evidently +innocent of corsets and tight dresses) of this model woman, and also +that of the Greek Slave in the accompanying outlines. These forms +are such as unperverted nature and the highest art alike require. +To compress the waist, and thereby change its form, pushing the ribs +inward, displacing the vital organs, and preventing the due expansion +of the lungs, is as destructive to beauty as it is to health. + + + * * * * * + +THE HISTORY, MYSTERY, BENEFITS AND INJURIES OF THE CORSET. + + +[Illustration: The Corset in the 18th Century.] + + +1. The origin of the corset is lost in remote antiquity. The figures +of the early Egyptian women show clearly an artificial shape of the +waist produced by some style of corset. A similar style of dress must +also have prevailed among the ancient Jewish maidens; for Isaiah, in +calling upon the women to put away their personal adornments, says: +"Instead of a girdle there shall be a rent, and instead of a stomacher +(corset) a girdle of sackcloth." + +2. Homer also tells us of the cestus or girdle of Venus, which was +borrowed by the haughty Juno with a view to increasing her personal +attractions, that Jupiter might be a more tractable and orderly +husband. + +3. Coming down to the later times, we find the corset was used in +France and England as early as the 12th century. + +4. The most extensive and extreme use of the corset occurred in the +16th century, during the reign of Catherine de Medici of France and +Queen Elizabeth of England. With Catherine de Medici a thirteen-inch +waist measurement was considered the standard of fashion, while a +thick waist was an abomination. No lady could consider her figure of +proper shape unless she could span her waist with her two hands. To +produce this result a strong rigid corset was worn night and day until +the waist was laced down to the required size. Then over this corset +was placed the steel apparatus shown in the illustration on next page. +This corset-cover reached from the hip to the throat, and produced a +rigid figure over which the dress would fit with perfect smoothness. + +[Illustration: Steel Corset worn in Catherine's time.] + +5. During the 18th century corsets were largely made from a species +of leather known as "Bend," which was not unlike that used for shoe +soles, and measured nearly a quarter of an inch in thickness. One +of the most popular corsets of the time was the corset and stomacher +shown in the accompanying illustration. + +6. About the time of the French Revolution a reaction set in against +tight lacing, and for a time there was a return to the early +classical Greek costume. This style of dress prevailed, with various +modifications, until about 1810 when corsets and tight lacing again +returned with threefold fury. Buchan, a prominent writer of this +period, says that it was by no means uncommon to see "a mother lay her +daughter down upon the carpet, and, placing her foot upon her back, +break half a dozen laces in tightening her stays." + +7. It is reserved to our own time to demonstrate that corsets and +tight lacing do not necessarily go hand in hand. Distortion and +feebleness are not beauty. A proper proportion should exist between +the size of the waist and the breadth of the shoulders and hips, +and if the waist is diminished below this proportion, it suggests +disproportion and invalidism rather than grace and beauty. + +8. The perfect corset is one which possesses just that degree of +rigidity which will prevent it from wrinkling, but will at the same +time allow freedom in the bending and twisting of the body. Corsets +boned with whalebone, horn or steel are necessarily stiff, rigid and +uncomfortable. After a few days' wear the bones or steels become bent +and set in position, or, as more frequently happens, they break and +cause injury or discomfort to the wearer. + +9. About seven years ago an article was discovered for the stiffening +of corsets, which has revolutionized the corset industry of the world. +This article is manufactured from the natural fibers of the Mexican +Ixtle plant, and is known as Coraline. It consists of straight, stiff +fibers like bristles bound together into a cord by being wound with +two strands of thread passing in opposite directions. This produces an +elastic fiber intermediate in stiffness between twine and whalebone. +It cannot break, but it possesses all the stiffness and flexibility +necessary to hold the corset in shape and prevent its wrinkling. + +We congratulate the ladies of to-day upon the advantages they enjoy +over their sisters of two centuries ago, in the forms and the graceful +and easy curves of the corsets now made as compared with those of +former times. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: Forms of Corsets in the time of Elizabeth of England.] + +[Illustration: EGYPTIAN CORSET.] + + + * * * * * + +TIGHT-LACING. + + +It destroys natural beauty and creates an unpleasant and irritable +temper. A tight-laced chest and a good disposition cannot go +together. The human form has been molded by nature, the best shape is +undoubtedly that which she has given it. To endeavor to render it more +elegant by artificial means is to change it; to make it much smaller +below and much larger above is to destroy its beauty; to keep it cased +up in a kind of domestic cuirass is not only to deform it, but to +expose the internal parts to serious injury. Under such compression as +is commonly practiced by ladies, the development of the bones, which +are still tender, does not take place conformably to the intention +of nature, because nutrition is necessarily stopped, and they +consequently become twisted and deformed. + +[Illustration: THE NATURAL WAIST. THE EFFECTS OF LACING.] + +Those who wear these appliances of tight-lacing often complain that +they cannot sit upright without them--are sometimes, indeed, compelled +to wear them during all the twenty-four hours; a fact which proves to +what extent such articles weaken the muscles of the trunk. The injury +does not fall merely on the internal structure of the body, but also +on its beauty, and on the temper and feelings with which that beauty +is associated. Beauty is in reality but another name for expression +of countenance, which is the index of sound health, intelligence, +good feelings and peace of mind. All are aware that uneasy feelings, +existing habitually in the breast, speedily exhibit their signature +on the countenance, and that bitter thoughts or a bad temper spoil the +human expression of its comeliness and grace. + +[Illustration: NATURAL HAIR.] + + + * * * * * + +THE CARE OF THE HAIR. + + +1. THE COLOR OF THE HAIR.--The color of the hair corresponds with that +of the skin--being dark or black, with a dark complexion, and red or +yellow with a fair skin. When a white skin is seen in conjunction +with black hair, as among the women of Syria and Barbary, the apparent +exception arises from protection from the sun's rays, and opposite +colors are often found among people of one prevailing feature. Thus +red-haired Jews are not uncommon, though the nation in general have +dark complexion and hair. + +2. THE IMPERISHABLE NATURE OF HAIR.--The imperishable nature of hair +arises from the combination of salt and metals in its composition. In +old tombs and on mummies it has been found in a perfect state, after +a lapse of over two thousand years. There are many curious accounts +proving the indestructibility of the human hair. + +3. TUBULAR.--In the human family the hairs are tubular, the tubes +being intersected by partitions, resembling in some degree the +cellular tissue of plants. Their hollowness prevents incumbrance from +weight, while their power of resistance is increased by having their +traverse sections rounded in form. + +4. CAUTIONS.--It is ascertained that a full head of hair, beard +and whiskers, are a prevention against colds and consumptions. +Occasionally, however, it is found necessary to remove the hair from +the head, in cases of fever or disease, to stay the inflammatory +symptoms, and to relieve the brain. The head should invariably be kept +cool. Close night-caps are unhealthy, and smoking-caps and coverings +for the head within doors are alike detrimental to the free growth of +the hair, weakening it, and causing it to fall out. + + +HOW TO BEAUTIFY AND PRESERVE THE HAIR. + +1. TO BEAUTIFY THE HAIR.--Keep the head clean, the pores of the skin +open, and the whole circulatory system in a healthy condition, and you +will have no need of bear's grease (alias hog's lard). Where there +is a tendency in the hair to fall off on account of the weakness or +sluggishness of the circulation, or an unhealthy state of the skin, +cold water and friction with a tolerably stiff brush are probably the +best remedial agents. + +2. BARBER'S SHAMPOOS.--Are very beneficial if properly prepared. They +should not be made too strong. Avoid strong shampoos of any kind. +Great caution should be exercised in this matter. + +3. CARE OF THE HAIR.--To keep the hair healthy, keep the head clean. +Brush the scalp well with a stiff brush, while dry. Then wash with +castile soap, and rub into the roots bay rum, brandy or camphor +water. This done twice a month will prove beneficial. Brush the +scalp thoroughly twice a week. Dampen the hair with soft water at the +toilet, and do not use oil. + +4. HAIR WASH.--Take one ounce of borax, half an ounce of camphor +powder--these ingredients fine--and dissolve them in one quart of +boiling water. When cool, the solution will be ready for use. Dampen +the hair frequently. This wash is said not only to cleanse and +beautify, but to strengthen the hair, preserve the color and prevent +baldness. + +ANOTHER EXCELLENT WASH.--The best wash we know for cleansing and +softening the hair is an egg beaten up and rubbed well into the hair, +and afterwards washed out with several washes of warm water. + +5. THE ONLY SENSIBLE AND SAFE HAIR OIL.--The following is considered +a most valuable preparation: Take of extract of yellow Peruvian bark, +fifteen grains; extract of rhatany root, eight grains; extract of +burdoch root and oil of nutmegs (fixed), of each two drachms; camphor +(dissolve with spirits of wine), fifteen grains; beef marrow, two +ounces; best olive oil, one ounce; citron juice, half a drachm; +aromatic essential oil, as much as sufficient to render it fragrant; +mix and make into an ointment. Two drachms of bergamot, and a few +drops of attar of roses would suffice. + +6. HAIR WASH.--A good hair wash is soap and water, and the oftener it +is applied the freer the surface of the head will be from scurf. The +hair-brush should also be kept in requisition morning and evening. + +7. TO REMOVE SUPERFLUOUS HAIR.--With those who dislike the use of +arsenic, the following is used for removing superfluous hair from +the skin: Lime, one ounce; carbonate of potash, two ounces; charcoal +powder, one drachm. For use, make it into a paste with a little warm +water, and apply it to the part, previously shaved close. As soon as +it has become thoroughly dry, it may be washed off with a little warm +water. + +8. COLORING FOR EYELASHES AND EYEBROWS.--In eyelashes the chief +element of beauty consists in their being long and glossy; the +eyebrows should be finely arched and clearly divided from each other. +The most innocent darkener of the brow is the expressed juice of the +elderberry, or a burnt clove. + +[Illustration: JAPANESE MOUSINE MAKING HER TOILET.] + +9. CRIMPING HAIR.--To make the hair stay in crimps, take five cents +worth of gum arabic and add to it just enough boiling water to +dissolve it. When dissolved, add enough alcohol to make it rather +thin. Let this stand all night and then bottle it to prevent the +alcohol from evaporating. This put on the hair at night, after it is +done up in papers or pins, will make it stay in crimp the hottest day, +and is perfectly harmless. + +10. TO CURL THE HAIR.--There is no preparation that will make +naturally straight hair assume a permanent curl. The following will +keep the hair in curl for a short time: Take borax, two ounces; gum +arabic, one drachm; and hot water, not boiling, one quart; stir, and, +as soon as the ingredients are dissolved, add three tablespoonfuls of +strong spirits of camphor. On retiring to rest, wet the hair with the +above liquid, and roll in twists of paper as usual. Do not disturb the +hair until morning, when untwist and form into ringlets. + +11. FOR FALLING OR LOOSENING OF THE HAIR.--Take: + Alcohol, a half pint. + Salt, as much as will dissolve. + Glycerine, a tablespoonful. + Flour of sulphur, teaspoonful. Mix. + +Rub on the scalp every morning. + +12. TO DARKEN THE HAIR WITHOUT BAD EFFECTS.--Take: + Blue vitriol (powdered), one drachm. + Alcohol, one ounce. + Essence of roses, ten drops. + Rain-water, a half-pint. + +Shake together until they are thoroughly dissolved. + +13. GRAY HAIR.--There are no known means by which the hair can be +prevented from turning gray, and none which can restore it to its +original hue, except through the process of dyeing. The numerous "hair +color restorers" which are advertised are chemical preparations +which act in the manner of a dye or as a paint, and are nearly always +dependent for their power on the presence of lead. This mineral, +applied to the skin, for a long time, will lead to the most disastrous +maladies--lead-palsy, lead colic, and other symptoms of poisoning. It +should, therefore, never be used for this purpose. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO CURE PIMPLES OR OTHER FACIAL ERUPTIONS. + + +1. It requires self-denial to get rid of pimples, for persons troubled +with them will persist in eating fat meats and other articles of food +calculated to produce them. Avoid the use of rich gravies, or pastry, +or anything of the kind in excess. Take all the out-door exercise you +can and never indulge in a late supper. Retire at a reasonable hour, +and rise early in the morning. Sulphur to purify the blood may be +taken three times a week--a thimbleful in a glass of milk before +breakfast. It takes some time for the sulphur to do its work, +therefore persevere in its use till the humors, or pimples, or +blotches, disappear. Avoid getting wet while taking the sulphur. + +2. TRY THIS RECIPE: Wash the face twice a day in warm water, and rub +dry with a coarse towel. Then with a soft towel rub in a lotion made +of two ounces of white brandy, one ounce of cologne, and one-half +ounce of liquor potasse. Persons subject to skin eruptions should +avoid very salty or fat food. A dose of Epsom salts occasionally might +prove beneficial. + +3. Wash the face in a dilution of carbolic acid, allowing one +teaspoonful to a pint of water. This is an excellent and purifying +lotion, and may be used on the most delicate skins. Be careful about +letting this wash get into the eyes. + +4. Oil of sweet almonds, one ounce; fluid potash, one drachm. Shake +well together, and then add rose water, one ounce; pure water, six +ounces. Mix. Rub the pimples or blotches for some minutes with a rough +towel, and then dab them with the lotion. + +5. Dissolve one ounce of borax, and sponge the face with it every +night. When there are insects, rub on flower of sulphur, dry after +washing, rub well and wipe dry; use plenty of castile soap. + +6. Dilute corrosive sublimate with oil of almonds. A few days' +application will remove them. + + + * * * * * + +BLACK-HEADS AND FLESH WORMS. + + +[Illustration: A REGULAR FLESH WORM GREATLY MAGNIFIED.] + + +This is a minute little creature, scientifically called _Demodex +folliculorum_, hardly visible to the naked eye, with comparatively +large fore body, a more slender hind body and eight little stumpy +processes that do duty as legs. No specialized head is visible, +although of course there is a mouth orifice. These creatures live +on the sweat glands or pores of the human face, and owing to the +appearance that they give to the infested pores, they are usually +known as "black-heads." It is not at all uncommon to see an otherwise +pretty face disfigured by these ugly creatures, although the insects +themselves are nearly transparent white. The black appearance is +really due the accumulation of dirt which gets under the edges of +the skin of the enlarged sweat glands and cannot be removed in the +ordinary way by washing, because the abnormal, hardened secretion of +the gland itself becomes stained. These insects are so lowly organized +that it is almost impossible to satisfactory deal with them and +they sometimes cause the continual festering of the skin which they +inhabit. + +REMEDY.--Press them out with a hollow key or with the thumb and +fingers, and apply a mixture of sulphur and cream every evening. Wash +every morning with the best toilet soap, or wash the face with hot +water with a soft flannel at bedtime. + +[Illustration: A HEALTHY COMPLEXION.] + + + * * * * * + +LOVE. + + + But there's nothing half so sweet in life + As love's young dream.--MOORE. + + All love is sweet, + Given or returned. Common as light is love, + And its familiar voice wearies not ever.--SHELLEY. + + Doubt thou the stars are fire, + Doubt that the sun doth move; + Doubt truth to be a liar, + But never doubt I love.--SHAKESPEARE. + + Let those love now who never loved before, + Let those that always loved now love the more. + + +1. LOVE BLENDS YOUNG HEARTS.--Love blends young hearts in blissful +unity, and, for the time, so ignores past ties and affections, as to +make willing separation of the son from his father's house, and the +daughter from all the sweet endearments of her childhood's home, to +go out together and rear for themselves an altar, around which shall +cluster all the cares and delights, the anxieties and sympathies, of +the family relationship; this love, if pure, unselfish, and discreet, +constitutes the chief usefulness and happiness of human life. + +2. WITHOUT LOVE.--Without love there would be no organized households, +and, consequently, none of that earnest endeavor for competence and +respectability, which is the mainspring to human effort; none of those +sweet, softening, restraining and elevating influences of domestic +life, which can alone fill the earth with the glory of the Lord and +make glad the city of Zion. This love is indeed heaven upon earth; but +above would not be heaven without it; where there is not love, there +is fear; but, "love casteth out fear." And yet we naturally do offend +what we most love. + +3. LOVE IS THE SUN OF LIFE.--Most beautiful in morning and evening, +but warmest and steadiest at noon. It is the sun of the soul. Life +without love is worse than death; a world without a sun. The love +which does not lead to labor will soon die out, and the thankfulness +which does not embody itself in sacrifices is already changing to +gratitude. Love is not ripened in one day, nor in many, nor even in +a human lifetime. It is the oneness of soul with soul in appreciation +and perfect trust. To be blessed it must rest in that faith in the +Divine which underlies every other motion. To be true, it must be +eternal as God himself. + +4. LOVE IS DEPENDENT.--Remember that love is dependent upon forms; +courtesy of etiquette guards and protects courtesy of heart. How many +hearts have been lost irrevocably, and how many averted eyes and +cold looks have been gained from what seemed, perhaps, but a trifling +negligence of forms. + +[Illustration: AGE COUNSELING YOUTH.] + +5. RADICAL DIFFERENCES.--Men and women should not be judged by the +same rules. There are many radical differences in their affectional +natures. Man is the creature of interest and ambition. His nature +leads him forth into the struggle and bustle of the world. Love is but +the embellishment of his early life, or a song piped in the intervals +of the acts. He seeks for fame, for fortune, for space in the world's +thoughts, and dominion over his fellow-men. But a woman's whole life +is a history of the affections. The heart is her world; it is there +her ambition strives for empire; it is there her ambition seeks for +hidden treasures. She sends forth her sympathies on adventure; she +embarks her whole soul in the traffic of affection; and if shipwrecked +her case is hopeless, for it is bankruptcy of the heart. + +6. WOMAN'S LOVE.--Woman's love is stronger than death; it rises +superior to adversity, and towers in sublime beauty above the +niggardly selfishness of the world. Misfortune cannot suppress it; +enmity cannot alienate it; temptation cannot enslave it. It is +the guardian angel of the nursery and the sick bed; it gives an +affectionate concord to the partnership of life and interest, +circumstances cannot modify it; it ever remains the same to sweeten +existence, to purify the cup of life, on the rugged pathway to the +grave, and melt to moral pliability the brittle nature of man. It is +the ministering spirit of home, hovering in soothing caresses over the +cradle, and the death-bed of the household, and filling up the urn of +all its sacred memories. + +7. A LADY'S COMPLEXION.--He who loves a lady's complexion, form and +features, loves not her true self, but her soul's old clothes. The +love that has nothing but beauty to sustain it, soon withers and dies. +The love that is fed with presents always requires feeding. Love, and +love only, is the loan for love. Love is of the nature of a burning +glass, which, kept still in one place, fireth; changed often, it doth +nothing. The purest joy we can experience in one we love, is to see +that person a source of happiness to others. When you are with the +person loved, you have no sense of being bored. This humble and +trivial circumstance is the great test--the only sure and abiding test +of love. + +8. TWO SOULS COME TOGETHER.--When two souls come together, each +seeking to magnify the other, each in subordinate sense worshiping +the other, each help the other; the two flying together so that each +wing-beat of the one helps each wing-beat of the other--when two souls +come together thus, they are lovers. They who unitedly move themselves +away from grossness and from earth, toward the throne of crystaline +and the pavement golden, are, indeed, true lovers. + +[Illustration: LOVE MAKING IN THE EARLY COLONIAL DAYS.] + +[Illustration: CUPID'S CAPTURED VICTIM.] + + + * * * * * + +THE POWER AND PECULIARITIES OF LOVE. + +LOVE IS A TONIC AND A REMEDY FOR DISEASE, MAKES PEOPLE LOOK YOUNGER, +CREATES INDUSTRY, ETC. + + + "All thoughts, all passions, all desires. + Whatever stirs this mortal frame, + Are ministers of Love, + And feed his sacred flame." + + +1. It is a physiological fact long demonstrated that persons +possessing a loving disposition borrow less of the cares of life, and +also live much longer than persons with a strong, narrow and selfish +nature. Persons who love scenery, love domestic animals, show great +attachment for all friends; love their home dearly and find interest +and enchantment in almost everything have qualities of mind and heart +which indicate good health and a happy disposition. + +2. Persons who love music and are constantly humming or whistling a +tune, are persons that need not be feared, they are kind-hearted +and with few exceptions possess a loving disposition. Very few good +musicians become criminals. + +3. Parents that cultivate a love among their children will find +that the same feeling will soon be manifested in their children's +disposition. Sunshine in the hearts of the parents will blossom in the +lives of the children. The parent who continually cherishes a feeling +of dislike and rebellion in his soul, cultivating moral hatred against +his fellow-man, will soon find the same things manifested by his +son. As the son resembles his father in looks so he will to a certain +extent resemble him in character. Love in the heart of the parent +will beget kindness and affection in the heart of a child. Continuous +scolding and fretting in the home will soon make love a stranger. + +4. If you desire to cultivate love, create harmony in all your +feelings and faculties. Remember that all that is pure, holy and +virtuous in love flows from the deepest fountain of the human soul. +Poison the fountain and you change virtue to vice, and happiness to +misery. + +5. Love strengthens health, and disappointment cultivates disease. A +person in love will invariably enjoy the best of health. Ninety-nine +per cent. of our strong constitutioned men, now in physical ruin, have +wrecked themselves on the breakers of an unnatural love. Nothing but +right love and a right marriage will restore them to health. + +6. All men feel much better for going a courting, providing they +court purely. Nothing tears the life out of man more than lust, vulgar +thoughts and immoral conduct. The libertine or harlot has changed +love, God's purest gift to man, into lust. They cannot acquire love in +its purity again, the sacred flame has vanished forever. Love is pure, +and cannot be found in the heart of a seducer. + +7. A woman is never so bright and full of health as when deeply in +love. Many sickly and frail women are snatched from the clutches of +some deadly disease and restored to health by falling in love. + +8. It is a long established fact that married persons are healthier +than unmarried persons; thus it proves that health and happiness +belong to the home. Health depends upon mind. Love places the mind +into a delightful state and quickens every human function, makes the +blood circulate and weaves threads of joy into cables of domestic +love. + +9. An old but true proverb: "A true man loving one woman will speak +well of all women. A true woman loving one man will speak well of all +men. A good wife praises all men, but praises her husband most. A good +man praises all women, but praises his wife most." + +10. Persons deeply in love become peculiarly pleasant, winning and +tender. It is said that a musician can never excel or an artist do +his best until he has been deeply in love. A good orator, a great +statesman or great men in general are greater and better for having +once been thoroughly in love. A man who truly loves his wife and home +is always a safe man to trust. + +11. Love makes people look younger in years. People in unhappy homes +look older and more worn and fatigued. A woman at thirty, well courted +and well married, looks five or ten years younger than a woman of the +same age unhappily married. Old maids and bachelors always look older +than they are. A flirting widow always looks younger than an old maid +of like age. + +12. Love renders women industrious and frugal, and a loving husband +spends lavishly on a loved wife and children, though miserly towards +others. + +13. Love cultivates self-respect and produces beauty. Beauty in walk +and beauty in looks; a girl in love is at her best; it brings out +the finest traits of her character, she walks more erect and is more +generous and forgiving; her voice is sweeter and she makes happy all +about her. She works better, sings better and is better. + +14. Now in conclusion, a love marriage is the best life insurance +policy; it pays dividends every day, while every other insurance +policy merely promises to pay after death. Remember that statistics +demonstrate that married people outlive old maids and old bachelors by +a goodly number of years and enjoy healthier and happier lives. + +[Illustration: THE TURKISH WAY OF MAKING LOVE] + +[Illustration: PREPARING TO ENTERTAIN HER LOVER.] + +[Illustration: CONFIDENCE.] + + + * * * * * + +AMATIVENESS OR CONNUBIAL LOVE. + + +1. MULTIPLYING THE RACE.--Some means for multiplying our race is +necessary to prevent its extinction by death. Propagation and death +appertain to man's earthly existence. If the Deity had seen fit to +bring every member of the human family into being by a direct act of +creative power, without the agency of parents, the present wise and +benevolent arrangements of husbands and wives, parents and +children, friends and neighbors, would have been superseded, and all +opportunities for exercising parental and connubial love, in which +so much enjoyment is taken, cut off. But the domestic feelings and +relations, as now arranged, must strike every philosophical observer +as inimitably beautiful and perfect--as the offspring of infinite +Wisdom and Goodness combined. + +2. AMATIVENESS AND ITS COMBINATIONS constitute their origin, +counterpart, and main medium of manifestation. Its primary function +is connubial love. From it, mainly, spring those feelings which +exist between the sexes as such and result in marriage and offspring. +Combined with the higher sentiments, it gives rise to all those +reciprocal kind feelings and nameless courtesies which each sex +manifests towards the other; refining and elevating both, promoting +gentility and politeness, and greatly increasing social and general +happiness. + +3. RENDERS MEN MORE POLITE TO WOMEN.--So far from being in the least +gross or indelicate, its proper exercise is pure, chaste, virtuous, +and even an ingredient in good manners. It is this which renders men +always more polite towards women than to one another, and more refined +in their society, and which makes women more kind, grateful, genteel +and tender towards men than women. It makes mothers love their +sons more than their daughters, and fathers more attached to their +daughters. Man's endearing recollections of his mother or wife form +his most powerful incentives to virtue, study, and good deeds, as well +as restraints upon his vicious inclinations; and, in proportion as a +young man is dutiful and affectionate to his mother, will he be fond +of his wife; for, this faculty is the parent of both. + +4. ALL SHOULD CULTIVATE THE FACULTY OF AMATIVENESS OR CONNUBIAL +LOVE.--Study the personal charms and mental accomplishments of the +other sex by ardent admirers of beautiful forms, and study graceful +movements and elegant manners, and remember, much depends upon the +tones and accents of the voice. Never be gruff if you desire to be +winning. Seek and enjoy and reciprocate fond looks and feelings. +Before you can create favorable impressions you must first be honest +and sincere and natural, and your conquest will be sure and certain. + + + * * * * * + +LOVE AND COMMON-SENSE. + + +1. Do not love her because she goes to the altar with her head full +of book learning, her hands of no earthly use, save for the piano +and brush; because she has no conception of the duties and +responsibilities of a wife; because she hates housework, hates its +everlasting routine and ever recurring duties; because she hates +children and will adopt every means to evade motherhood; because she +loves her ease, loves to have her will supreme, loves, oh how well, to +be free to go and come, to let the days slip idly by, to be absolved +from all responsibility, to live without labor, without care? Will you +love her selfish, shirking, calculating nature after twenty years of +close companionship? + +2. Do you love him because he is a man, and therefore, no matter how +weak mentally, morally or physically he may be, he has vested in him +the power to save you from the ignominy of an old maid's existence? +Because you would rather be Mrs. Nobody, than make the effort to be +Miss Somebody? because you have a great empty place in your head and +heart that nothing but a man can fill? because you feel you cannot +live without him? God grant the time may never come when you cannot +live with him. + +3. Do you love her because she is a thoroughly womanly woman; for +her tender sympathetic nature; for the jewels of her life, which are +absolute purity of mind and heart; for the sweet sincerity of her +disposition; for her loving, charitable thought; for her strength +of character? because she is pitiful to the sinful, tender to the +sorrowful, capable, self-reliant, modest, true-hearted? in brief, +because she is the embodiment of all womanly virtues? + +4. Do you love him because he is a manly man; because the living and +operating principle of his life is a tender reverence for all women; +because his love is the overflow of the best part of his nature; +because he has never soiled his soul with an unholy act or his +lips with an oath; because mentally he is a man among men; because +physically he stands head and shoulders above the masses; because +morally he is far beyond suspicion, in his thought, word or deed? +because his earnest manly consecrated life is a mighty power on God's +side? + +5. But there always has been and always will be unhappy marriages +until men learn what husbandhood means; how to care for that tenderly +matured, delicately constituted being, that he takes into his care +and keeping. That if her wonderful adjusted organism is overtaxed +and overburdened, her happiness, which is largely dependent upon her +health, is destroyed. + +6. Until men give the women they marry the undivided love of their +heart; until constancy is the key-note of a life which speaks +eloquently of clean thoughts and clean hearts. + +7. Until men and women recognize that self-control in a man, and +modesty in a woman, will bring a mutual respect that years of wedded +life will only strengthen. Until they recognize that love is the +purest and holiest of all things known to humanity, will marriage +continue to bring unhappiness and discontent, instead of that comfort +and restful peace which all loyal souls have a right to expect and +enjoy. + +8. Be sensible and marry a sensible, honest and industrious companion, +and happiness through life will be your reward. + +[Illustration: A CALLER.] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +WHAT WOMEN LOVE IN MEN. + + +1. Women naturally love courage, force and firmness in men. The +ideal man in a woman's eye must be heroic and brave. Woman naturally +despises a coward, and she has little or no respect for a bashful man. + +2. Woman naturally loves her lord and master. Women who desperately +object to be overruled, nevertheless admire men who overrule them, and +few women would have any respect for a man whom they could completely +rule and control. + +3. Man is naturally the protector of woman; as the male wild animal +of the forest protects the female, so it is natural for man to protect +his wife and children, and therefore woman admires those qualities in +a man which make him a protector. + +4. LARGE MEN.--Women naturally love men of strength, size and fine +physique, a tall, large and strong man rather than a short, small and +weak man. A woman always pities a weakly man, but rarely ever has any +love for him. + +5. SMALL AND WEAKLY MEN.--All men would be of good size in frame +and flesh, were it not for the infirmities visited upon them by the +indiscretion of parents and ancestors of generations before. + +6. YOUTHFUL SEXUAL EXCITEMENT.--There are many children born healthy +and vigorous who destroy the full vigor of their generative organs +in youth by self-abuse, and if they survive and marry, their children +will have small bones, small frames and sickly constitutions. It is +therefore not strange that instinct should lead women to admire men +not touched with these symptoms of physical debility. + +7. GENEROSITY.--Woman generally loves a generous man. Religion absorbs +a great amount of money in temples, churches, ministerial salaries, +etc., and ambition and appetite absorb countless millions, yet woman +receives more gifts from man than all these combined: she loves a +generous giver. _Generosity and Gallantry_ are the jewels which she +most admires. A woman receiving presents from a man implies that she +will pay him back in love, and the woman who accepts a man's presents, +and does not respect him, commits a wrong which is rarely ever +forgiven. + +8. INTELLIGENCE.--Above all other qualities in man, woman admires +his intelligence. Intelligence is man's woman captivating card. This +character in woman is illustrated by an English army officer, as told +by O.S. Fowler, betrothed in marriage to a beautiful, loving heiress, +summoned to India, who wrote back to her: + +"I have lost an eye, a leg, an arm, and been so badly marred and +begrimmed besides, that you never could love this poor, maimed +soldier. Yet, I love you too well to make your life wretched by +requiring you to keep your marriage-vow with me, from which I hereby +release you. Find among English peers one physically more perfect, +whom you can love better." + +She answered, as all genuine women must answer: + +"Your noble mind, your splendid talents, your martial prowess which +maimed you, are what I love. As long as you retain sufficient body to +contain the casket of your soul, which alone is what I admire, I love +you all the same, and long to make you mine forever." + +9. SOFT MEN.--All women despise soft and silly men more than all +other defects in their character. Woman never can love a man +whose conversation is flat and insipid. Every man seeking woman's +appreciation or love should always endeavor to show his intelligence +and manifest an interest in books and daily papers. He should read +books and inform himself so that he can talk intelligently upon +the various topics of the day. Even an ignorant woman always loves +superior intelligence. + +10. SEXUAL VIGOR.--Women love sexual vigor in men. This is human +nature. Weakly and delicate fathers have weak and puny children, +though the mother may be strong and robust. A weak mother often bears +strong children, if the father is physically and sexually vigorous. +Consumption is often inherited from fathers, because they furnish the +body, yet more women die with it because of female obstructions. Hence +women love passion in men, because it endows their offspring with +strong functional vigor. + +11. PASSIONATE MEN--The less passion any woman possesses, the more she +prizes a strong passionate man. This is a natural consequence, for if +she married one equally passionless, their children would be poorly +endowed or they would have none; she therefore admires him who makes +up the deficiency. Hence very amorous men prefer quiet, modest and +reserved women. + +12. HOMELY MEN are admired by women if they are large, strong and +vigorous and possess a good degree of intelligence. Looks are trifles +compared with the other qualities which man may possess. + +13. YOUNG MAN, If you desire to win the love and admiration of young +ladies, first, be intelligent; read books and papers; remember what +you read, so you can talk about it. Second, be generous and do not +show a stingy and penurious disposition when in the company of ladies. +Third, be sensible, original, and have opinions of your own and do not +agree with everything that someone else says, or agree with everything +that a lady may say. Ladies naturally admire genteel and intelligent +discussions and conversations when there is someone to talk with who +has an opinion of his own. Woman despises a man who has no opinion +of his own; she hates a trifling disposition and admires leadership, +original ideas, and looks up to man as a leader. Women despise all men +whom they can manage, overrule, cow-down and subdue. + +14. BE SELF-SUPPORTING.--The young man who gives evidence of thrift is +always in demand. Be enthusiastic and drive with success all that +you undertake. A young man, sober, honest and industrious, holding a +responsible position or having a business of his own, is a prize that +some bright and beautiful young lady would like to draw. Woman admires +a certainty. + +15. UNIFORMED MEN.--It is a well known fact that women love uniformed +men. The soldier figures as a hero in about every tale of fiction +and it is said by good authority that a man in uniform has three more +chances to marry than the man without uniform. The correct reason is, +the soldier's profession is bravery, and he is dressed and trained for +that purpose, and it is that which makes him admired by ladies rather +than the uniform which he wears. His profession is also that of a +protector. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +WHAT MEN LOVE IN WOMEN. + + +1. FEMALE BEAUTY.--Men love beautiful women, for woman's beauty is +the highest type of all beauty. A handsome woman needs no diamonds, no +silks or satins; her brilliant face outshines diamonds and her form is +beautiful in calico. + +2. FALSE BEAUTIFIERS.--Man's love of female beauty surpasses all other +love, and whatever artificial means are used to beautify, to a certain +extent are falsehoods which lead to distrust or dislike. Artificial +beauty is always an imitation, and never can come into competition +with the genuine. No art can successfully imitate nature. + +3. TRUE KIND OF BEAUTY.--Facial beauty is only skin deep. A beautiful +form, a graceful figure, graceful movements and a kind heart are the +strongest charms in the perfection of female beauty. A brilliant face +always outshines what may be called a pretty face, for intelligence is +that queenly grace which crowns woman's influence over men. Good looks +and good and pure conduct awaken a man's love for women. A girl must +therefore be charming as well as beautiful, for a charming girl will +never become a charmless wife. + +4. A GOOD FEMALE BODY.--No weakly, poor-bodied woman can draw a man's +love like a strong, well developed body. A round, plump figure with an +overflow of animal life is the woman most commonly sought, for nature +in man craves for the strong qualities in women, as the health and +life of offspring depend upon the physical qualities of wife +and mother. A good body and vigorous health, therefore, become +indispensable to female beauty. + +5. BROAD HIPS.--A woman with a large pelvis gives her a superior and +significant appearance, while a narrow pelvis always indicate weak +sexuality. The other portions of the body however must be in harmony +with the size and breadth of the hips. + +6. FULL BUSTS.--In the female beauty of physical development there +is nothing that can equal full breasts. It is an indication of good +health and good maternal qualities. As a face looks bad without a +nose, so the female breast, when narrow and flat, produces a bad +effect. The female breasts are the means on which a new-born child +depends for its life and growth, hence it is an essential human +instinct for men to admire those physical proportions in women which +indicate perfect motherhood. Cotton and all other false forms simply +show the value of natural ones. All false forms are easily detected, +because large natural ones will generally quiver and move at every +step, while the artificial ones will manifest no expression of life. +As woman looks so much better with artificial paddings and puffings +than she does without, therefore modern society should waive all +objections to their use. A full breast has been man's admiration +through all climes and ages, and whether this breast-loving instinct +is right or wrong, sensible or sensual, it is a fact well known to +all, that it is a great disappointment to a husband and father to see +his child brought up on a bottle. Men love full breasts, because it +promotes maternity. If, however, the breasts are abnormally large, +it indicates maternal deficiency the same as any disproportion or +extreme. + +7. SMALL FEET.--Small feet and small ankles are very attractive, +because they are in harmony with a perfect female form, and men admire +perfection. Small feet and ankles indicate modesty and reserve, while +large feet and ankles indicate coarseness, physical power, authority, +predominance. Feet and ankles however must be in harmony with the +body, as small feet and small ankles on a large woman would be out of +proportion and consequently not beautiful. + +8. BEAUTIFUL ARMS.--As the arm is always in proportion with the other +portions of the body, consequently a well-shaped arm, small hands and +small wrists, with full muscular development, is a charm and beauty +not inferior to the face itself, and those who have well-shaped arms +may be proud of them, because they generally keep company with a fine +bust and a fine figure. + +9. INTELLIGENCE.--A mother must naturally possess intelligence, in +order to rear her children intelligently, consequently it is natural +for man to chiefly admire mental qualities in women, for utility and +practicability depend upon intelligence. Therefore a man generally +loves those charms in women which prepare her for the duties of +companionship. If a woman desires to be loved, she must cultivate her +intellectual gifts, be interesting and entertaining in society, +and practical and helpful in the home, for these are some of the +qualifications which make up the highest type of beauty. + +10. PIETY AND RELIGION IN WOMEN.--Men who love home and the +companionship of their wives, love truth, honor and honesty. It is +this higher moral development that naturally leads them to admire +women of moral and religious natures. It is therefore not strange that +immoral men love moral and church-loving wives. Man naturally admires +the qualities which tend to the correct government of the home. Men +want good and pure children, and it is natural to select women who +insure domestic contentment and happiness. A bad man, of course, does +not deserve a good wife, yet he will do his utmost to get one. + +11. FALSE APPEARANCE.--Men love reserved, coy and discreet women much +more than blunt, shrewd and boisterous. Falsehood, false hair, false +curls, false forms, false bosoms, false colors, false cheeks, and all +that is false, men naturally dislike, for in themselves they are a +poor foundation on which to form family ties, consequently duplicity +and hypocrisy in women is very much disliked by men, but a frank, +honest, conscientious soul is always lovable and lovely and will not +become an old maid, except as a matter of choice and not of necessity. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +HISTORY OF MARRIAGE. + + +1. "It is not good for man to be alone," was the Divine judgment, and +so God created for him an helpmate; therefore sex is as Divine as the +soul. + +2. POLYGAMY.--Polygamy has existed in all ages. It is and always has +been the result of moral degradation and wantonness. + +3. THE GARDEN OF EDEN.--The Garden of Eden was no harem. Primeval +nature knew no community of love; there was only the union of two +souls, and the twain were made one flesh. If God had intended man to +be a polygamist he would have created for him two or more wives; but +he only created one wife for the first man. He also directed Noah +to take into the ark two of each sort--a male and female--another +evidence that God believed in pairs only. + +4. ABRAHAM no doubt was a polygamist, and the general history of +patriarchal life shows that the plurality of wives and concubinage +were national customs, and not the institutions authorized by God. + +5. EGYPTIAN HISTORY.--Egyptian history, in the first ostensible form +we have, shows that concubinage and polygamy were in common practice. + +6. SOLOMON.--It is not strange that Solomon, with his thousand wives, +exclaimed: "All is vanity and vexation of spirit." Polygamy is not the +natural state of man. + +7. CONCUBINAGE AND POLYGAMY continued till the fifth century, when +the degraded condition of woman became to some extent matters of some +concern and recognition. Before this woman was regarded simply as an +instrument of procreation, or a mistress of the household, to gratify +the passions of man. + +8. THE CHINESE marriage system was, and is, practically polygamous, +for from their earliest traditions we learn, although a man could +have but one wife, he was permitted to have as many concubines as he +desired. + +9. MOHAMMEDANISM.--Of the 150,000,000 Mohammedans all are polygamists. +Their religion appeals to the luxury of animal propensities, and the +voluptuous character of the Orientals has penetrated western Europe +and Africa. + +10. MORMONISM.--The Mormon Church, founded by Joseph Smith, practiced +polygamy until the beginning of 1893, when the church formally +declared and resigned polygamy as a part or present doctrine of their +religious institution. Yet all Mormons are polygamists at heart. It is +a part of their religion; national law alone restrains them. + +11. FREE LOVERS.--There is located at Lenox, Madison County, New York, +an organization popularly known as Free Lovers. The members advocate +a system of complex marriage, a sort of promiscuity, with a freedom +of love for any and all. Man offers woman support and love; +woman enjoying freedom, self-respect, health, personal and mental +competency, gives herself to man in the boundless sincerity of +an unselfish union. In their system, love is made synonymous with +sexuality, and there is no doubt, but what woman is only a plaything +to gratify animal caprice. + +12. MONOGAMY (SINGLE WIFE), is a law of nature evident from the fact +that it fulfills the three essential conditions of man, viz.: +the development of the individual, the welfare of society and +reproduction. In no nation with a system of polygamy do we find a code +of political and moral rights, and the condition of woman is that of +a slave. In polygamous countries nothing is added to the education and +civilization. The natural tendency is sensualism, and sensualism tends +to mental starvation. + +18. CHRISTIAN CIVILIZATION has lifted woman from slavery to liberty. +Wherever Christian civilization prevails there are legal marriages, +pure homes and education. May God bless the purity of the home. + + + * * * * * + +MARRIAGE. + + + "Thus grief still treads upon the heel of pleasure, + Married in haste we may repent at leisure." + --SHAKESPEARE + + +The parties are wedded. The priest or clergyman has pronounced as one +those hearts that before beat in unison with each other. The assembled +guests congratulate the happy pair. The fair bride has left her dear +mother bedewed with tears and sobbing just as if her heart would +break, and as if the happy bridegroom was leading her away captive +against her will. They enter the carriage. It drives off on the +wedding tour, and his arms encircles the yielding waist of her now +all his own, while her head reclines on the breast of the man of her +choice. If she be young and has married an old man, she will be sad. +If she has married for a home, or position, or wealth, a pang +will shoot across her fair bosom. If she has married without due +consideration or on too light an acquaintance, it will be her sorrow +before long. But, if loving and beloved, she has united her destiny +with a worthy man, she will rejoice, and on her journey feel a glow +of satisfaction and delight unfelt before and which will be often +renewed, and daily prove as the living waters from some perennial +spring. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +THE ADVANTAGES OF WEDLOCK. + + + 'Tis sweet to hear the watch-dog's honest bark, + Bay deep-mouthed welcome as we draw near home + 'Tis sweet to know there is an eye will mark + Our coming, and look brighter when we come. + BYRON, DON JUAN + + +1. Marriage is the natural state of man and woman. Matrimony greatly +contributes to the wealth and health of man. + +2. Circumstances may compel a man not to select a companion until late +in life. Many may have parents or relatives, dependent brothers and +sisters to care for, yet family ties are cultivated; notwithstanding +the home is without a wife. + +3. In Christian countries the laws of marriage have greatly added to +the health of man. Marriage in barbarous countries, where little or no +marriage ceremonies are required, benefits man but little. There +can be no true domestic blessedness without loyalty and love for the +select and married companion. All the licentiousness and lust of a +libertine, whether civilized or uncivilized, bring him only unrest and +premature decay. + +4. A man, however, may be married and not mated, and consequently reap +trouble and unhappiness. A young couple should first carefully +learn each other by making the courtship a matter of business, and +sufficiently long that the disposition and temper of each may be +thoroughly exposed and understood. + +5. First see that there is love; secondly, that there is adaptation; +thirdly, see that there are no physical defects, and if these +conditions are properly considered, cupid will go with you. + +6. The happiest place on all earth is home. A loving wife and lovely +children are jewels without price, as Payne says: + + "'Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam. + Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home." + +7. Reciprocated love produces a general exhilaration of the system. +The elasticity of the muscles is increased, the circulation is +quickened, and every bodily function is stimulated to renewed activity +by a happy marriage. + +8. The consummation desired by all who experience this affection, is +the union of souls in a true marriage. Whatever of beauty or +romance there may have been in the lover's dream, is enhanced and +spiritualized in the intimate communion of married life. The crown of +wifehood and maternity is purer, more divine than that of the maiden. +Passion is lost--emotions predominate. + +9. TOO EARLY MARRIAGES.--Too early marriage is always bad for the +female. If a young girl marries, her system is weakened and a full +development of her body is prevented, and the dangers of confinement +are considerably increased. + +10. Boys who marry young derive but little enjoyment from the +connubial state. They are liable to excesses and thereby lose much of +the vitality and power of strength and physical endurance. + +11. LONG LIFE.--Statistics show that married men live longer than +bachelors. Child-bearing for women is conducive to longevity. + +12. COMPLEXION.--Marriage purifies the complexion, removes blotches +from the skin, invigorates the body, fills up the tones of the voice, +gives elasticity and firmness to the step, and brings health and +contentment to old age. + +13. TEMPTATIONS REMOVED.--Marriage sanctifies a home, while adultery +and libertinism produce unrest, distrust and misery. It must +be remembered that a married man can practice the most absolute +continence and enjoy a far better state of health than the licentious +man. The comforts of companionship develop purity and give rest to the +soul. + +14. TOTAL ABSTENTION.--It is no doubt difficult for some men to fully +abstain from sexual intercourse and be entirely chaste in mind. +The great majority of men experience frequent strong sexual desire. +Abstention is very apt to produce in their minds voluptuous images and +untamable desires which require an iron will to banish or control. The +hermit in his seclusion, or the monk in his retreat, are often flushed +with these passions and trials. It is, however, natural; for remove +these passions and man would be no longer a man. It is evident that +the natural state of man is that of marriage; and he who avoids that +state is not in harmony with the laws of his being. + +[Illustration: AN ALGERIAN BRIDE.] + +15. PROSTITUTION.--Men who inherit strong passions easily argue +themselves into the belief either to practice masturbation or visit +places of prostitution, on the ground that their health demands it. +Though medical investigation has proven it repeatedly to be false, yet +many believe it. The consummation of marriage involves the mightiest +issues of life and is the most holy and sacred right recognized by +man, and it is the Balm of Gilead for many ills. Masturbation or +prostitution soon blight the brightest prospects a young man may have. +Manhood is morality and purity of purpose, not sensuality. + + + * * * * * + +DISADVANTAGES OF CELIBACY. + + +1. To live the life of a bachelor has many advantages and many +disadvantages. The man who commits neither fornication, adultery nor +secret vice, and is pure in mind, surely has all the moral virtues +that make a good man and a good citizen, whether married or unmarried. + +2. If a good pure-minded man does not marry, he will suffer no serious +loss of vital power; there will be no tendency to spermatorrhoea or +congestion, nor will he be afflicted with any one of those ills which +certain vicious writers and quacks would lead many people to believe. +Celibacy is perfectly consistent with mental vigor and physical +strength. Regularity in the habits of life will always have its good +effects on the human body. + +3. The average life of a married man is much longer than that of a +bachelor. There is quite an alarming odds in the United States in +favor of a man with a family. It is claimed that the married man lives +on an average from five to twenty years longer than a bachelor. The +married man lives a more regular life. He has his meals more regularly +and is better nursed in sickness, and in every way a happier and more +contented man. The happiness of wife and children will always add +comfort and length of days to the man who is happily married. + +4. It is a fact well answered by statistics that there is more crime +committed, more vices practiced, and more immorality among single +men than among married men. Let the young man be pure in heart like +Bunyan's Pilgrim, and he can pass the deadly dens, the roaring lions, +and overcome the ravenous fires of passion, unscathed. The vices of +single men support the most flagrant of evils of modern society, +hence let every young man beware and keep his body clean and pure. His +future happiness largely depends upon his chastity while a single man. + +[Illustration: "MADE IN U.S.A."] + +[Illustration: I WILL NEVER MARRY.] + + + * * * * * + +OLD MAIDS. + + +1. MODERN ORIGIN.--The prejudice which certainly still exists in the +average mind against unmarried women must be of comparatively +modern origin. From the earliest ages to ancient Greece, and Rome +particularly, the highest honors were paid them. They were the +ministers of the old religions, and regarded with superstitious awe. + +2. MATRIMONY.--Since the reformation, especially during the last +century, and in our own land, matrimony has been so much esteemed, +notably by women, that it has come to be regarded as in some sort +discreditable for them to remain single. Old maids are mentioned on +every hand with mingled pity and disdain, arising no doubt from the +belief, conscious or unconscious, that they would not be what they +are if they could help it. Few persons have a good word for them as +a class. We are constantly hearing of lovely maidens, charming wives, +buxom widows, but almost never of attractive old maids. + +3. DISCARDING PREJUDICE.--The real old maid is like any other woman. +She has faults necessarily, though not those commonly conceived +of. She is often plump, pretty, amiable, interesting, intellectual, +cultured, warm-hearted, benevolent, and has ardent friends of both +sexes. These constantly wonder why she has not married, for they feel +that she must have had many opportunities. Some of them may know why; +she may have made them her confidantes. She usually has a sentimental, +romantic, frequently a sad and pathetic past, of which she does not +speak unless in the sacredness of intimacy. + +4. NOT QUARRELSOME.--She is not dissatisfied, querulous nor envious. +On the contrary, she is, for the most part, singularly content, +patient and serene,--more so than many wives who have household duties +and domestic cares to tire and trouble them. + +5. REMAIN SINGLE FROM NECESSITY.--It is a stupid, as well as a heinous +mistake, that women who remain single do so from necessity. Almost +any woman can get a husband if she is so minded, as daily observation +attests. When we see the multitudes of wives who have no visible signs +of matrimonial recommendation, why should we think that old maids have +been totally neglected? We may meet those who do not look inviting. +But we meet any number of wives who are even less inviting. + +6. FIRST OFFER.--The appearance and outgiving of many wives denote +that they have accepted the first offer; the appearance and outgiving +of many old maids that they have declined repeated offers. It is +undeniable, that wives, in the mass, have no more charm than old maids +have, in the mass. But, as the majority of women are married, they are +no more criticised nor commented on, in the bulk, than the whole sex +are. They are spoken of individually as pretty or plain, bright or +dull, pleasant or unpleasant; while old maids are judged as a species, +and almost always unfavorable. + +[Illustration: "I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND."] + +7. BECOMES A WIFE.--Many an old maid, so-called, unexpectedly to her +associates becomes a wife, some man of taste, discernment and sympathy +having induced her to change her state. Probably no other man of his +kind has proposed before, which accounts for her singleness. After her +marriage hundreds of persons who had sneered at her condition find her +charming, thus showing the extent of their prejudice against feminine +celibacy. Old maids in general, it is fair to presume, do not wait for +opportunities, but for proposers of an acceptable sort. They may have, +indeed they are likely to have, those, but not to meet these. + +8. NO LONGER MARRY FOR SUPPORT.--The time has changed and women have +changed with it. They have grown more sensible, more independent +in disposition as well as circumstances. They no longer marry for +support; they have proved their capacity to support themselves, and +self-support has developed them in every way. Assured that they can +get on comfortably and contentedly alone they are better adapted by +the assurance for consortship. They have rapidly increased from this +and cognate causes, and have so improved in person, mind and character +that an old maid of to-day is wholly different from an old maid of +forty years ago. + +[Illustration: CONVINCING HIS WIFE.] + + + * * * * * + +WHEN AND WHOM TO MARRY. + + +1. EARLY MARRIAGES.--Women too early married always remain small in +stature, weak, pale, emaciated, and more or less miserable. We have +no natural nor moral right to perpetuate unhealthy constitutions, +therefore women should not marry too young and take upon themselves +the responsibility, by producing a weak and feeble generation of +children. It is better not to consummate a marriage until a full +development of body and mind has taken place. A young woman of +twenty-one to twenty-five, and a young man of twenty-three to +twenty-eight, are considered the right age in order to produce an +intelligent and healthy offspring. "First make the tree good, then +shall the fruit be good also." + +2. If marriage is delayed too long in either sex, say from thirty +to forty-five, the offspring will often be puny and more liable to +insanity, idiocy, and other maladies. + +3. PUBERTY.--This is the period when childhood passes from immaturity +of the sexual functions to maturity. Woman attains this state a year +or two sooner than man. In the hotter climates the period of puberty +is from twelve to fifteen years of age, while in cold climates, +such as Russia, the United States, and Canada, puberty is frequently +delayed until the seventeenth year. + +4. DISEASED PARENTS.--We do the race a serious wrong in multiplying +the number of hereditary invalids. Whole families of children have +fallen heir to lives of misery and suffering by the indiscretion and +poor judgment of parents. No young man in the vigor of health +should think for a moment of marrying a girl who has the impress +of consumption or other disease already stamped upon her feeble +constitution. It only multiplies his own suffering, and brings no +material happiness to his invalid wife. On the other hand, no healthy, +vigorous young woman ought to unite her destiny with a man, no matter +how much she adored him, who is not healthy and able to brave the +hardships of life. If a young man or young woman with feeble body +cannot find permanent relief either by medicine or change of climate, +no thoughts of marriage should be entertained. Courting a patient may +be pleasant, but a hard thing in married life to enjoy. The young lady +who supposes that any young man wishes to marry her for the sake of +nursing her through life makes a very grave mistake. + +[Illustration: LIFE INSURANCE COMPANIES DEMAND PHYSICAL EXAMINATION. +WHY NOT MATRIMONY?] + +5. WHOM TO CHOOSE FOR A HUSBAND.--The choice of a husband requires the +coolest judgment and the most vigilant sagacity. A true union based on +organic law is happiness, but let all remember that oil and water +will not mix: the lion will not lie down with the lamb, nor can +ill-assorted marriages be productive of aught but discord. + + "Let the woman take + An elder than herself, so wears she to him-- + So sways she, rules in her husband's heart." + +Look carefully at the disposition.--See that your intended Spouse is +kind-hearted, generous, and willing to respect the opinions of others, +though not in sympathy with them. Don't marry a selfish tyrant who +thinks only of himself. + +6. BE CAREFUL.--Don't marry an intemperate man with a view of +reforming him. Thousands have tried it and failed. Misery, sorrow +and a very hell on earth have been the consequences of too many such +generous undertakings. + +7. THE TRUE AND ONLY TEST which any man should look for in woman is +modesty in demeanor before marriage, absence both of assumed ignorance +and disagreeable familiarity, and a pure and religious frame of mind. +Where these are present, he need not doubt that he has a faithful and +a chaste wife. + +8. MARRYING FIRST COUSINS is dangerous to offspring. The observation +is universal, the children of married first cousins are too often +idiots, insane, clump-footed, crippled, blind, or variously diseased. +First cousins are always sure to impart all the hereditary disease +in both families to their children. If both are healthy there is less +danger. + +9. DO NOT CHOOSE ONE TOO GOOD, or too far above you, lest the inferior +dissatisfying the superior, breed those discords which are worse than +the trials of a single life. Don't be too particular; for you might go +farther and fare worse. As far as you yourself are faulty, you should +put up with faults. Don't cheat a consort by getting one much better +than you can give. We are not in heaven yet, and must put up with +their imperfections, and instead of grumbling at them, be glad they +are no worse; remembering that a faulty one is a great deal better +than none, if he loves you. + +10. MARRYING FOR MONEY.--Those who seek only the society of those who +can boast of wealth will nine times out of ten suffer disappointment. +Wealth cannot manufacture true love nor money buy domestic happiness. +Marry because you love each other, and God will bless your home. A +cottage with a loving wife is worth more than a royal palace with a +discontented and unloving queen. + +11. DIFFERENCE IN AGE.--It is generally admitted that the husband +should be a few years older than the wife. The question seems to +be how much difference. Up to twenty-two those who propose marriage +should be about the same age; however, other things being equal, a +difference of fifteen years after the younger is twenty-five, need +not prevent a marriage. A man of forty-five may marry a woman of +twenty-five much more safely than one of thirty a girl below nineteen, +because her mental sexuality is not as mature as his, and again her +natural coyness requires more delicate and affectionate treatment than +he is likely to bestow. A girl of twenty or under should seldom if +ever marry a man of thirty or over, because the love of an elderly man +for a girl is more parental than conjugal; while hers for him is like +that of a daughter to a father. He may pet, flatter and indulge her +as he would a grown-up daughter, yet all this is not genuine masculine +and feminine love, nor can she exert over him the influence every man +requires from his wife. + +12. THE BEST TIME.--All things considered, we advise the male reader +to keep his desires in check till he is at least twenty-five, and the +female not to enter the pale of wedlock until she has attained the +age of twenty. After those periods, marriage is the proper sphere of +action, and one in which nearly every individual is called by nature +to play his proper part. + +13. SELECT CAREFULLY.--While character, health, accomplishments and +social position should be considered, yet one must not overlook mental +construction and physical conformation. The rule always to be followed +in choosing a life partner is _identity of taste and diversity of +temperament_. Another essential is that they be physically adapted +to each other. For example: The pelvis--that part of the anatomy +containing all the internal organs of gestation--is not only essential +to beauty and symmetry, but is a matter of vital importance to her +who contemplates matrimony, and its usual consequences. Therefore, the +woman with a very narrow and contracted pelvis should never choose a +man of giant physical development lest they cannot duly realize the +most important of the enjoyments of the marriage state, while the +birth of large infants will impose upon her intense labor pains, or +even cost her her life. + +[Illustration: EXPLAINING THE NEED OF A NEW HAT.] + + + * * * * * + +CHOOSE INTELLECTUALLY--LOVE AFTERWARD. + + +1. LOVE.--Let it ever be remembered that love is one of the most +sacred elements of our nature, and the most dangerous with which +to tamper. It is a very beautiful and delicately contrived faculty, +producing the most delightful results, but easily thrown out of +repair--like a tender plant, the delicate fibers of which incline +gradually to entwine themselves around its beloved one, uniting two +willing hearts by a thousand endearing ties, and making of "twain one +flesh": but they are easily torn asunder, and then adieu to the joys +of connubial bliss! + +2. COURTING BY THE QUARTER.--This courting by the quarter, "here a +little and there a little," is one of the greatest evils of the day. +This getting a little in love with Julia, and then a little with +Eliza, and a little more with Mary,--this fashionable flirtation +and coquetry of both sexes--is ruinous to the domestic affections; +besides, effectually preventing the formation of true connubial love. +I consider this dissipation of the affections one of the greatest +sins against Heaven, ourselves, and the one trifled with, that can be +committed. + +3. FRITTERING AWAY AFFECTIONS.--Young men commence courting long +before they think of marrying, and where they entertain no thoughts of +marriage. They fritter away their own affections, and pride themselves +on their conquests over the female heart; triumphing in having so +nicely fooled them. They pursue this sinful course so far as to drive +their pitiable victims, one after another, from respectable society, +who, becoming disgraced, retaliate by heaping upon them all the +indignities and impositions which the fertile imagination of woman can +invent or execute. + +4. COURTING WITHOUT INTENDING TO MARRY.--Nearly all this wide-spread +crime and suffering connected with public and private licentiousness +and prostitution, has its origin in these unmeaning courtships--this +premature love--this blighting of the affections, and every young +man who courts without intending to marry, is throwing himself or his +sweet-heart into _this hell upon earth._ And most of the blame rests +on young men, because they take the liberty of paying their addresses +to the ladies and discontinuing them, at pleasure, and thereby mainly +cause this vice. + +5. SETTING THEIR CAPS.--True, young ladies sometimes "set their caps," +sometimes court very hard by their bewitching smiles and affectionate +manners; by the natural language of love, or that backward reclining +and affectionate roll of the head which expresses it; by their soft +and persuasive accents; by their low dresses, artificial forms, +and many other unnatural and affected ways and means of attracting +attention and exciting love; but women never court till they have been +in love and experienced its interruption, till their first and most +tender fibres of love have been frost-bitten by disappointment. It is +surely a sad condition of society. + +[Illustration: MOTHERHOOD.] + +6. TRAMPLING THE AFFECTIONS OF WOMEN.--But man is a self-privileged +character. He may not only violate the laws of his own social nature +with impunity, but he may even trample upon the affections of woman. +He may even carry this sinful indulgence to almost any length, and yet +be caressed and smiled tenderly upon by woman; aye, even by virtuous +woman. He may call out, only to blast the glowing affections of one +young lady after another, and yet his addresses be cordially welcomed +by others. Surely a gentleman is at perfect liberty to pay his +addresses, not only to a lady, but even to the ladies, although he +does not once entertain the thought of marrying his sweet-heart, or, +rather his victim. O, man, how depraved! O, woman, how strangely blind +to your own rights and interests! + +7. AN INFALLIBLE SIGN.--An infallible sign that a young man's +intentions are improper, is his trying to excite your passions. If he +loves you, he will never appeal to that feeling, because he respects +you too much for that. And the woman who allows a man to take +advantage of her just to compel him to marry her, is lost and +heartless in the last degree, and utterly destitute of moral principle +as well as virtue. A woman's riches is her virtue, that gone she has +lost all. + +8. THE BEGINNING OF LICENTIOUSNESS.--Man it seldom drives from +society. Do what he may, woman, aye, virtuous and even pious woman +rarely excludes him from her list of visitors. But where is the point +of propriety?--immoral transgression should exclude either sex from +respectable society. Is it that one false step which now constitutes +the boundary between virtue and vice? Or rather, the discovery of that +false step? Certainly not! but it is all that leads to, and precedes +and induces it. It is this courting without marrying. This is the +beginning of licentiousness, as well as its main, procuring cause, and +therefore infinitely worse than its consummation merely. + +9. SEARING THE SOCIAL AFFECTIONS.--He has seared his social affections +so deeply, so thoroughly, so effectually, that when, at last, he +wishes to marry, he is incapable of loving. He marries, but is +necessarily cold-hearted towards his wife, which of course renders her +wretched, if not jealous, and reverses the faculties of both towards +each other; making both most miserable for life. This induces +contention and mutual recrimination, if not unfaithfulness, and +imbitters the marriage relations through life; and well it may. + +10. UNHAPPY MARRIAGES.--This very cause, besides inducing most of that +unblushing public and private prostitution already alluded to, renders +a large proportion of the marriages of the present day unhappy. Good +people mourn over the result, but do not once dream of its cause. They +even pray for moral reform, yet do the very things that increase the +evil. + +11. WEEPING OVER HER FALLEN SON.--Do you see yonder godly mother, +weeping over her fallen son, and remonstrating with him in tones of a +mother's tenderness and importunity? That very mother prevented that +very son marrying the girl he dearly loved, because she was poor, and +this interruption of his love was the direct and procuring cause of +his ruin; for, if she had allowed him to marry this beloved one, he +never would have thought of giving his "strength unto strange +women." True, the mother ruined her son ignorantly, but none the less +effectually. + +12. SEDUCTION AND RUIN.--That son next courts another virtuous +fair one, engages her affections, and ruins her, or else leaves her +broken-hearted, so that she is the more easily ruined by others, and +thus prepares the way for her becoming an inmate of a house "whose +steps take hold on hell." His heart is now indifferent, he is ready +for anything. + +13. THE RIGHT PRINCIPLE.--I say then, with emphasis, that no man +should ever pay his addresses to any woman, until he has made his +selection, not even to aid him in making that choice. He should first +make his selection intellectually, and love afterward. He should go +about the matter coolly and with judgment, just as he would undertake +any other important matter. No man or woman, when blinded by love, is +in a fit state to judge advantageously as to what he or she requires, +or who is adapted to his or her wants. + +14. CHOOSING FIRST AND LOVING AFTERWARDS.--I know, indeed, that this +doctrine of choosing first and loving afterward, of excluding love +from the councils, and of choosing by and with the consent of the +intellect and moral sentiments, is entirely at variance with the +feelings of the young and the customs of society; but, for its +correctness, I appeal to the common-sense--not to the experience, for +so few try this plan. Is not this the only proper method, and the one +most likely to result happily? Try it. + +15. THE YOUNG WOMAN'S CAUTION.--And, especially, let no young lady +ever once think of bestowing her affections till she is certain they +will not be broken off--that is, until the match is fully agreed upon, +but rather let her keep her heart whole till she bestows it for life. +This requisition is as much more important, and its violation as much +more disastrous to woman than to man, as her social faculties are +stronger than his. + +16. A BURNT CHILD DREADS THE FIRE.--As a "burnt child dreads the +fire," and the more it is burnt, the greater the dread: so your +affections, once interrupted, will recoil from a second love, and +distrust all mankind. No! you cannot be too choice of your love--that +pivot on which turn your destinies for life and future happiness. + +[Illustration: AFTER THE ENGAGEMENT.] + + + * * * * * + +LOVE-SPATS. + + + Could ever hear by tale or history, + The course of true love never did run smooth. + --SHAKESPEARE. + + "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, + Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."--CONGREVE. + +"Thunderstorms clear the atmosphere and promote vegetation; then why +not Love-spats promote love, as they certainly often do?" + +"They are almost universal, and in the nature of our differences +cannot be helped. The more two love, the more they are aggrieved by +each other's faults; of which these spats are but the correction." + +"Love-spats instead of being universal, they are consequent on +imperfect love, and only aggravate, never correct errors. Sexual +storms never improve, whereas love obviates faults by praising the +opposite virtues. Every view of them, practical and philosophical, +condemns them as being to love what poison is to health, both before +and after marriage. They are nothing but married discords. Every law +of mind and love condemns them. Shun them as you would deadly vipers, +and prevent them by forestallment."--O.S. Fowler. + + +1. THE TRUE FACTS.--Notwithstanding some of the above quotations, to +the contrary, trouble and disagreement between lovers embitters +both love and life. Contention is always dangerous, and will beget +alienation if not final separation. + +2. CONFIRMED AFFECTIONS.--Where affections are once thoroughly +confirmed, each one should be very careful in taking offense, and +avoid all disagreements as far as possible, but if disagreements +continually develop with more or less friction and irritation, it is +better for the crisis to come and a final separation take place. For +peace is better than disunited love. + +3. HATE-SPATS.--Hate-spats, though experienced by most lovers, yet, +few realize how fatal they are to subsequent affections. Love-spats +develop into hate-spats, and their effects upon the affections are +blighting and should not under any circumstances be tolerated. Either +agree, or agree to disagree. If there cannot be harmony before the +ties of marriage are assumed, then there cannot be harmony after. +Married life will be continually marred by a series of "hate-spats" +that sooner or later will destroy all happiness, unless the couple are +reasonably well mated. + +[Illustration: HOME LOVING HEARTS ARE HAPPIEST.] + +4. MORE FATAL THE OFTENER THEY OCCUR.--As O.S. Fowler says: "'The +poison of asps is under their lips.' The first spat is like a deep +gash cut into a beautiful face, rendering it ghastly, and leaving +a fearful scar, which neither time nor cosmetics can ever efface; +including that pain so fatal to love, and blotting that sacred +love-page with memory's most hideous and imperishable visages. Cannot +many now unhappy remember them as the beginning of that alienation +which embittered your subsequent affectional cup, spoiled your lives? +With what inherent repulsion do you look back upon them? Their memory +is horrid, and effect on love most destructive." + +5. FATAL CONDITIONS.--What are all lovers' "spats" but disappointment +in its very worst form? They necessarily and always produce all its +terrible consequences. The finer feelings and sensibilities will soon +become destroyed and nothing but hatred will remain. + +6. EXTREME SORROW.--After a serious "spat" there generally follows a +period of tender sorrow, and a feeling of humiliation and submission. +Mutual promises are consequently made that such a condition of things +shall never happen again, etc. But be sure and remember, that every +subsequent difficulty will require stronger efforts to repair the +breach. Let it be understood that these compromises are dangerous, and +every new difficulty increases their fatality. Even the strongest will +endure but few, nor survive many. + +7. DISTRUST AND WANT OF CONFIDENCE.--Most difficulties arise from +distrust or lack of confidence or common-sense. When two lovers eye +each other like two curs, each watching, lest the other should gain +some new advantage, then this shows a lack of common-sense, and the +young couple should get sensible or separate. + +8. JEALOUSY.--When one of the lovers, once so tender, now all at +once so cold and hardened; once so coy and familiar now suddenly +so reserved, distant, hard and austere, is always a sure case of +jealousy. A jealous person is first talkative, very affectionate, and +then all at once changes and becomes cold, reserved and repulsive, +apparently without cause. If a person is jealous before marriage, this +characteristic will be increased rather than diminished by marriage. + +9. CONFESSION.--If you make up by confession, the confessor feels +mean and disgraced; or if both confess and forgive, both feel humbled; +since forgiveness implies inferiority and pity; from which whatever +is manly and womanly shrinks. Still even this is better than continued +"spats." + +10. PREVENTION.--If you can get along well in your courtship you will +invariably make a happy couple if you should unite your destinies in +marriage. Learn not to give nor take offence. You must remember that +all humanity is imperfect at best. We all have our faults, and must +keep them in subordination. Those who truly love each other will have +but few difficulties in their courtship or in married life. + +11. REMEDIES.--Establishing a perfect love in the beginning +constitutes a preventive. Fear that they are not truly loved usually +paves the way for "spats." Let all who make any pretension guard +against all beginnings of this reversal, and strangle these +"hate-spats" the moment they arise. "Let not the sun go down upon thy +wrath," not even an hour, but let the next sentence after they begin +quench them forever. And let those who cannot court without "spats," +stop; for those who spat before marriage must quarrel after. + +[Illustration: "LET NOT THE SUN GO DOWN UPON THY WRATH".] + +[Illustration: ALONE AND FORSAKEN.] + + + * * * * * + +A BROKEN HEART. + + +1. WOUNDED LOVE.--'Tis true that love wields a magic, sovereign, +absolute, and tyrannical power over both the body and the mind when it +is given control. It often, in case of dissapointment, works havoc +and deals death blows to its victims, and leaves many in that morbid +mental condition which no life-tonics simply can restore. Wounded love +may be the result of hasty and indiscreet conduct of young people; +or the outgrowth of lust, or the result of domestic infidelity and +discord. + +2. FATAL EFFECTS.--Our cemeteries receive within the cold shadows of +the grave thousands and thousands of victims that annually die from +the results of "broken hearts." It is no doubt a fact that love +troubles cause more disorders of the heart than everything else +combined. + +3. DISRUPTED LOVE.--It has long been known that dogs, birds, and even +horses, when separated from their companions or friends, have pined +away and died; so it is not strange that man with his higher intuitive +ideas of affection should suffer from love when suddenly disrupted. + +4. CRUCIFYING LOVE.--Painful love feelings strike right to the heart, +and the breaking up of love that cannot be consummated in marriage is +sometimes allowed to crucify the affections. There is no doubt that +the suffering from disappointed love is often deeper and more intense +than meeting death itself. + +5. HEALING.--The paralyzing and agonizing consequences of ruptured love +can only be remedied by diversion and society. Bring the mind into a +state of patriotic independence with a full determination to blot +out the past. Those who cannot bring into subordination the pangs of +disappointment in love are not strong characters, and invariably +will suffer disappointments in almost every department of life. +Disappointment in love means rising above it, and conquering it, or +demoralization, mental, physical and sexual. + +6. LOVE RUNS MAD.--Love comes unbidden. A blind ungovernable impulse +seems to hold sway in the passions of the affections. Love is blind +and seems to completely subdue and conquer. It often comes like a clap +of thunder from a clear sky, and when it falls it falls flat, leaving +only the ruins of a tornado behind. + +7. BAD, DISMAL, AND BLUE FEELINGS.--Despondency breathes disease, +and those who yield to it can neither work, eat nor sleep; they only +suffer. The spell-bound, fascinated, magnetized affections seem to +deaden self-control and no doubt many suffering from love-sickness are +totally helpless; they are beside themselves, irritational and wild. +Men and women of genius, influence and education, all seem to suffer +alike, but they do not yield alike to the subduing influence; some +pine away and die; others rise above it, and are the stronger and +better for having been afflicted. + +8. RISE ABOVE IT.--Cheer up! If you cannot think pleasurably over +your misfortune, forget it. You must do this or perish. Your power +and influence is too much to blight by foolish and melancholic pining. +Your own sense, your self-respect, your self-love, your love for +others, command you not to spoil yourself by crying over "spilt milk." + +9. RETRIEVE YOUR PAST LOSS.--Do sun, moon, and stars indeed rise and +set in your loved one? Are there not "as good fish in the sea as ever +were caught?" and can you not catch them? Are there not other hearts +on earth just as loving and lovely, and in every way as congenial; If +circumstances had first turned you upon another, you would have felt +about that one as now about this. Love depends far less on the party +loved than on the loving one. Or is this the way either to retrieve +your past loss, or provide for the future? Is it not both unwise and +self-destructive; and in every way calculated to render your case, +present and prospective, still more hopeless? + +10. FIND SOMETHING TO DO.--Idle hands are Satan's workshop. Employ +your mind; find something to do; something in which you can find +self-improvement; something that will fit you better to be admired +by someone else, read, and improve your mind; get into society, throw +your whole soul into some new enterprise, and you will conquer with +glory and come out of the fire purified and made more worthy. + +11. LOVE AGAIN.--As love was the cause of your suffering, so love again +will restore you, and you will love better and more consistently. Do +not allow yourself to become soured and detest and shun association. +Rebuild your dilapidated sexuality by cultivating a general +appreciation of the excellence, especially of the mental and moral +qualities of the opposite sex. Conquer your prejudices, and vow not to +allow anyone to annoy or disturb your calmness. + +12. LOVE FOR THE DEAD.--A most affectionate woman, who continues to +love her affianced though long dead, instead of becoming soured +or deadened, manifests all the richness and sweetness of the +fully-developed woman thoroughly in love, along with a softened, +mellow, twilight sadness which touches every heart, yet throws a +peculiar lustre and beauty over her manners and entire character. She +must mourn, but not forever. It is not her duty to herself or to her +Creator. + +13. A SURE REMEDY.--Come in contact with the other sex. You are +infused with your lover's magnetism, which must remain till displaced +by another's. Go to parties and picnics; be free, familiar, offhand, +even forward; try your knack at fascinating another, and yield to +fascinations yourself. But be honest, command respect, and make +yourself attractive and worthy. + +[Illustration: A SURE REMEDY.] + + + * * * * * + +FORMER CUSTOMS AND PECULIARITIES AMONG MEN. + + +1. POLYGAMY.--There is a wide difference as regards the relations of +the sexes in different parts of the world. In some parts polygamy has +prevailed from time immemorial. + +Most savage people are polygamists, and the Turks, though slowly +departing from the practice, still allow themselves a plurality of +wives. + +2. RULE REVERSED.--In Thibet the rule is reversed, and the females are +provided with two or more husbands. It is said that in many instances +a whole family of brothers have but one wife. The custom has at +least one advantageous feature, viz.: the possibility of leaving an +unprotected widow and a number of fatherless children is entirely +obviated. + +3. THE MORGANATIC MARRIAGE is a modification of polygamy. It sometimes +occurs among the royalty of Europe, and is regarded as perfectly +legitimate, but the morganatic wife is of lower rank than her royal +husband, and her children do not inherit his rank or fortune. The +Queen only is the consort of the sovereign, and entitled to share his +rank. + +4. DIFFERENT MANNERS OF OBTAINING WIVES.--Among the uncivilized almost +any envied possession is taken by brute force or superior strength. +The same is true in obtaining a wife. The strong take precedence of +the weak. It is said that among the North American Indians it was the +custom for men to wrestle for the choice of women. A weak man could +seldom retain a wife that a strong man coveted. + +The law of contest was not confined to individuals alone. Women were +frequently the cause of whole tribes arraying themselves against each +other in battle. The effort to excel in physical power was a great +incentive to bodily development, and since the best of the men were +preferred by the most superior women, the custom was a good one in +this, that the race was improved. + +5. THE ABORIGINAL AUSTRALIAN employed low cunning and heartless +cruelty in obtaining his wife. Laying in ambush, with club in hand, he +would watch for the coveted woman, and, unawares, spring upon her. If +simply disabled he carried her off as his possession, but if the blow +had been hard enough to kill, he abandoned her to watch for another +victim. There is here no effort to attract or please, no contest of +strength; his courtship, if courtship it can be called, would compare +very unfavorably with any among the brute creation. + +6. THE KALMUCK TARTAR races for his bride on horseback, she having +a certain start previously agreed upon. The nuptial knot consists in +catching her, but we are told that the result of the race all depends +upon whether the girl wants to be caught or not. + +7. HAWAIIAN ISLANDERS.--Marriage among the early natives of these +islands was merely a matter of mutual inclination. There was no +ceremony at all, the men and women united and separated as they felt +disposed. + +8. THE FEUDAL LORD, in various parts of Europe, when any of his +dependents or followers married, exercised the right of assuming the +bridegroom's proper place in the marriage couch for the first night. +Seldom was there any escape from this abominable practice. Sometimes +the husband, if wealthy, succeeded in buying off the petty sovereign +from exercising his privilege. + +9. THE SPARTANS had the custom of encouraging intercourse between +their best men and women for the sake of a superior progeny, without +any reference to a marriage ceremony. Records show that the ancient +Roman husband has been known to invite a friend, in whom he may have +admired some physical or mental trait, to share the favors of his +wife; that the peculiar qualities that he admired might be repeated in +the offspring. + + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: PROPOSING.] + +[Illustration] + +Hasty marriage seldom proveth well.--_Shakespeare, Henry VI._ + +The reason why so few marriages are happy is, because young ladies +spend their time in making nets, not in making cages.--_Swift, +Thoughts on Various Subjects._ + + + * * * * * + +SENSIBLE HINTS IN CHOOSING A PARTNER. + + +1. There are many fatal errors and many love-making failures in +courtship. Natural laws govern all nature and reduce all they govern +to eternal right; therefore love naturally, not artificially. Don't +love a somebody or a nobody simply because they have money. + +2. COURT SCIENTIFICALLY.--If you court at all, court scientifically. +Bungle whatever else you will, but do no bungle courtship. A failure +in this may mean more than a loss of wealth or public honors; it may +mean ruin, or a life often worse than death. The world is full of +wretched and mismated people. + +BEGIN RIGHT and all will be right; begin wrong and all will end wrong. +When you court, make a business of it and study your interest the same +as you would study any other business proposition. + +3. DIVORCES.--There is not a divorce on our court records that is not +the result of some fundamental error in courtship. The purity or the +power of love may be corrupted the same as any other faculty, and when +a man makes up his mind to marry and shuts his eyes and grabs in the +dark for a companion, he dishonors the woman he captures and commits a +crime against God and society. In this enlightened age there should +be comparatively few mistakes made in the selection of a suitable +partner. Sufficient time should be taken to study each other's +character and disposition. Association will soon reveal adaptability. + +4. FALSE LOVE.--Many a poor, blind and infatuated novice thinks he is +desperately in love, when there is not the least genuine affection in +his nature. It is all a momentary passion a sort of puppy love; his +vows and pledges are soon violated, and in wedlock he will become +indifferent and cold to his wife and children, and he will go through +life without ambition, encouragement or success. He will be a failure. +True love speaks for itself, and the casual observer can read its +proclamations. True love does not speak in a whisper, it always makes +itself heard. The follies of flirting develops into many unhappy +marriages, and blight many a life. Man happily married has superior +advantages both social and financially. + +5. FLIRTING JUST FOR FUN.--Who is the flirt, what is his reputation, +motive, or character? Every young man and woman must have a +reputation; if it is not good it is bad, there is no middle ground. +Young people who are running in the streets after dark, boisterous +and noisy in their conversation, gossiping and giggling, flirting +with first one and then another, will soon settle their matrimonial +prospects among good society. Modesty is a priceless jewel. No +sensible young man with a future will marry a flirt. + +6. THE ARCH-DECEIVER.--They who win the affection simply for their own +amusement are committing a great sin for which there is no adequate +punishment. How can you shipwreck the innocent life of that confiding +maiden, how can you forget her happy looks as she drank in your +expressions of love, how can you forget her melting eyes and glowing +cheeks, her tender tone reciprocating your pretended love? Remember +that God is infinitely just, and "the soul that sinneth shall surely +die." You may dash into business, seek pleasure in the club room, and +visit gambling hells, but "Thou art the man" will ever stare you in +the face. Her pale, sad cheeks, her hollow eyes will never cease to +haunt you. Men should promote happiness, and not cause misery. Let the +savage Indians torture captives to death by the slow flaming fagot, +but let civilized man respect the tenderness and love of confiding +women. Torturing the opposite sex is double-distilled barbarity. Young +men agonizing young ladies, is the cold-blooded cruelty of devils, not +men. + +7. THE RULE TO FOLLOW.--Do not continually pay your attentions to the +same lady if you have no desire to win her affections. Occasionally +escorting her to church, concert, picnic, party, etc., is perfectly +proper; but to give her your special attention, and extend invitations +to her for all places of amusements where you care to attend, is an +implied promise that you prefer her company above all others, and she +has a right to believe that your attentions are serious. + +[Illustration: THE WEDDING RING.] + +8. EVERY GIRL SHOULD SEAL HER HEART against all manifested affections, +unless they are accompanied by a proposal. Woman's love is her all, +and her heart should be as flint until she finds one who is worthy +of her confidence. Young woman, never bestow your affections until +by some word or deed at least you are fully justified in recognizing +sincerity and faith in him who is paying you special attention. Better +not be engaged until twenty-two. You are then more competent to judge +the honesty and falsity of man. Nature has thrown a wall of maidenly +modesty around you. Preserve that and not let your affections be +trifled with while too young by any youthful flirt who is in search of +hearts to conquer. + +9. FEMALE FLIRTATION.--The young man who loves a young woman has paid +her the highest compliment in the possession of man. Perpetrate +almost any sin, inflict any other torture, but spare him the agony of +disappointment. It is a crime that can never be forgiven, and a debt +that never can be paid. + +10. LOYALTY.--Young persons with serious intentions, or those who are +engaged should be thoroughly loyal to each other. If they seek freedom +with others the flame of jealousy is likely to be kindled and love is +often turned to hatred, and the severest anger of the soul is +aroused. Loyalty, faithfulness, confidence, are the three jewels to be +cherished in courtship. Don't be a flirt. + +11. KISSING, FONDLING, AND CARESSING BETWEEN LOVERS.--This should +never be tolerated under any circumstances, unless there is an +engagement to justify it, and then only in a sensible and limited +way. The girl who allows a young man the privilege of kissing her or +putting his arms around her waist before engagement will at once fall +in the estimation of the man she has thus gratified and desired to +please. Privileges always injure, but never benefit. + +12. IMPROPER LIBERTIES DURING COURTSHIP KILL LOVE.--Any improper +liberties which are permitted by young ladies, whether engaged or +not, will change love into sensuality, and her affections will become +obnoxious, if not repellent. Men by nature love virtue, and for a life +companion naturally shun an amorous woman. Young folks, as you +love moral purity and virtue, never reciprocate love until you +have required the right of betrothal. Remember that those who are +thoroughly in love will respect the honor and virtue of each other. +The purity of woman is doubly attractive, and sensuality in her +becomes doubly offensive and repellent. It is contrary to the laws of +nature for a man to love a harlot. + +13. A SEDUCER.--The punishment of the seducer is best given by O.S. +Fowler, in his "Creative Science." The sin and punishment rest on all +you who call out only to blight a trusting, innocent, loving virgin's +affections, and then discard her. You deserve to be horsewhipped by +her father, cowhided by her brothers, branded villain by her mother, +cursed by herself, and sent to the whipping-post and dungeon. + +14. CAUTION.--A young lady should never encourage the attentions of +a young man, who shows no interest in his sisters. If a young man is +indifferent to his sisters he will become indifferent to his wife as +soon as the honey moon is over. There are few if any exceptions to +this rule. The brother who will not be kind and loving in his mother's +home will make a very poor husband. + +15. THE OLD RULE: "Never marry a man that does not make his mother +a Christmas present every Christmas," is a good one. The young lady +makes no mistake in uniting her destinies with the man that loves his +mother and respects his sisters and brothers. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: A CHINESE BRIDE AND GROOM.] + + + * * * * * + +SAFE HINTS. + + +1. Marry in your own position in life. If there is any difference in +social position, it is better that the husband should be the superior. +A woman does not like to look down upon her husband, and to be obliged +to do so is a poor guarantee for their happiness. + +2. It is best to marry persons of your own faith and religious +convictions, unless one is willing to adopt those of the other. +Difference of faith is apt to divide families, and to produce great +trouble in after life. A pious woman should beware of marrying an +irreligious man. + +3. Don't be afraid of marrying a poor man or woman. Good health, +cheerful disposition, stout hearts and industrious hands will bring +happiness and comfort. + +4. Bright red hair should marry jet black, and jet black auburn or +bright red, etc. And the more red-faced and bearded or impulsive a +man, the more dark, calm, cool and quiet should his wife be; and vice +versa. The florid should not marry the florid, but those who are dark, +in proportion as they themselves are light. + +5. Red-whiskered men should marry brunettes, but no blondes; the color +of the whiskers being more determinate of the temperament than that of +the hair. + +6. The color of the eyes is still more important. Gray eyes must marry +some other color, almost any other except gray; and so of blue, dark, +hazel, etc. + +7. Those very fleshy should not marry those equally so, but those too +spare and slim; and this is doubly true of females. A spare man is +much better adapted to a fleshy woman than a round-favored man. Two +who are short, thick-set and stocky, should not unite in marriage, but +should choose those differently constituted; but on no account one of +their own make. And, in general, those predisposed to corpulence are +therefore less inclined to marriage. + +8. Those with little hair or beard should marry those whose hair is +naturally abundant; still those who once had plenty, but who have lost +it, may marry those who are either bald or have but little; for in +this, as in all other cases, all depends on what one is by nature, +little on present states. + +9. Those whose motive-temperament decidedly predominates, who are +bony, only moderately fleshy, quite prominent-featured, Roman-nosed +and muscular, should not marry those similarly formed. + +10. Small, nervous men must not marry little, nervous or sanguine +women, lest both they and their children have quite too much of the +hot-headed and impulsive, and die suddenly. + +11. Two very beautiful persons rarely do or should marry; nor two +extra homely. The fact is a little singular that very handsome women, +who of course can have their pick, rarely marry good-looking men, +but generally give preference to those who are homely; because that +exquisiteness in which beauty originates naturally blends with that +power which accompanies huge noses and disproportionate features. + +[Illustration: LIGHT. LIFE. HEALTH AND BEAUTY.] + +12. Rapid movers, speakers, laughers, etc., should marry those who are +calm and deliberate, and impulsives those who are stoical; while those +who are medium may marry those who are either or neither, as they +prefer. + +13. Noses indicate characters by indicating the organisms and +temperaments. Accordingly, those noses especially marked either way +should marry those having opposite nasal characteristics. Roman noses +are adapted to those which turn up, and pug noses to those turning +down; while straight noses may marry either. + +14. Men who love to command must be especially careful not to marry +imperious, women's-rights woman; while those who willingly "obey +orders" need just such. Some men require a wife who shall take their +part; yet all who do not need strong-willed women, should be careful +how they marry them. + +15. A sensible woman should not marry an obstinate but injudicious, +unintelligent man; because she cannot long endure to see and help him +blindly follow his poor, but spurn her good, plans. + +16. The reserved or secretive should marry the frank. A cunning +man cannot endure the least artifice in a wife. Those who are +non-committal must marry those who are demonstrative; else, however +much they may love, neither will feel sure as to the other's +affections, and each will distrust the other, while their children +will be deceitful. + +17. A timid woman should never marry a hesitating man, lest, like +frightened children, each keep perpetually re-alarming the other by +imaginary fears. + +18. An industrious, thrifty, hard-working man should marry a woman +tolerably saving and industrious. As the "almighty dollar" is now the +great motor-wheel of humanity, and that to which most husbands devote +their entire lives to delve alone is uphill work. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: FIRESIDE FANCIES.] + + + * * * * * + +MARRIAGE SECURITIES. + + +1. SEEK EACH OTHER'S HAPPINESS.--A selfish marriage that seeks only +its own happiness defeats itself. Happiness is a fire that will not +burn long on one stick. + +2. DO NOT MARRY SUDDENLY.--It can always be done till it is done, if +it is a proper thing to do. + +3. MARRY IN YOUR OWN GRADE IN SOCIETY.--It is painful to be always +apologizing for any one. It is more painful to be apologized for. + +4. DO NOT MARRY DOWNWARD.--It is hard enough to advance in the quality +of life without being loaded with clay heavier than your own. It will +be sufficiently difficult to keep your children up to your best level +without having to correct a bias in their blood. + +5. DO NOT SELL YOURSELF.--It matters not whether the price be money or +position. + +6. DO NOT THROW YOURSELF AWAY.--You will not receive too much, even if +you are paid full price. + +7. SEEK THE ADVICE OF YOUR PARENTS.--Your parents are your best +friends. They will make more sacrifice for you than any other mortals. +They are elevated above selfishness concerning you. If they differ +from you concerning your choice, it is because they must. + +8. DO NOT MARRY TO PLEASE ANY THIRD PARTY.--You must do the living and +enduring. + +9. DO NOT MARRY TO SPITE ANYBODY.--It would add wretchedness to folly. + +10. DO NOT MARRY BECAUSE SOMEONE ELSE MAY SEEK THE SAME HAND.--One +glove may not fit all hands equally well. + +11. DO NOT MARRY TO GET RID OF ANYBODY.--The coward who shot himself +to escape from being drafted was insane. + +12. DO NOT MARRY MERELY FOR THE IMPULSE OF LOVE.--Love is a principle +as well as an emotion. So far as it is a sentiment it is a blind +guide. It does not wait to test the presence of exalted character in +its object before breaking out into a flame. Shavings make a hot fire, +but hard coal is better for the Winter. + +13. DO NOT MARRY WITHOUT LOVE.--A body without a soul soon becomes +offensive. + +14. TEST CAREFULLY THE EFFECT OF PROTRACTED ASSOCIATION.--If +familiarity breeds contempt before marriage it will afterward. + +15. TEST CAREFULLY THE EFFECT OF PROTRACTED SEPARATION.--True love +will defy both time and space. + +16. CONSIDER CAREFULLY the right of your children under the laws of +heredity. It is doubtful whether you have a right to increase the +number of invalids and cripples. + +17. DO NOT MARRY SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE PROMISED TO DO SO.--If a seam +opens between you now it will widen into a gulf. It is less offensive +to retract a mistaken promise than to perjure your soul before the +altar. Your intended spouse has a right to absolute integrity. + +[Illustration: GOING TO BE MARRIED.] + +18. MARRY CHARACTER.--It is not so much what one has as what one is. + +19. DO NOT MARRY THE WRONG OBJECT.--Themistocles said he would rather +marry his daughter to a man without money than to money with a man. It +is well to have both. It is fatal to have neither. + +20. DEMAND A JUST RETURN.--You give virtue and purity, and gentleness +and integrity. You have a right to demand the same in return. Duty +requires it. + +21. REQUIRE BRAINS.--Culture is good, but will not be transmitted. +Brain power may be. + +22. STUDY PAST RELATIONSHIP.--The good daughter and sister makes a +good wife. The good son and brother makes a good husband. + +23. NEVER MARRY AS A MISSIONARY DEED.--If one needs saving from bad +habits he is not suitable for you. + +24. MARRIAGE IS A SURE AND SPECIFIC REMEDY for all the ills known +as seminal losses. As right eating cures a sick stomach and right +breathing diseased lungs, so the right use of the sexual organs will +bring relief and restoration. Many men who have been sufferers +from indiscretions of youth, have married, and were soon cured of +spermatorrhoea and other complications which accompanied it. + +25. A GOOD, LONG COURTSHIP will often cure many difficulties or ills +of the sexual organs. O.S. Fowler says: "See each other often spend +many pleasant hours together," have many walks and talks, think of +each other while absent, write many love letters, be inspired to many +love feelings and acts towards each other, and exercise your sexuality +in a thousand forms ten thousand times, every one of which tones up +and thereby recuperates this very element now dilapidated. When you +have courted long enough to marry, you will be sufficiently restored +to be reimproved by it. + +UP AND AT IT.--Dress up, spruce up, and be on the alert. Don't wait +too long to get one much more perfect than you are; but settle on some +one soon. Remember that your unsexed state renders you over-dainty, +and easily disgusted. So contemplate only their lovable qualities. + +26. PURITY OF PURPOSE.--Court with a pure and loyal purpose, and when +thoroughly convinced that the disposition of other difficulties are +in the way of a happy marriage life, then _honorably_ discuss it and +honorably treat each other in the settlement. + +27. DO NOT TRIFLE with the feelings or affections of each other. It is +a sin that will curse you all the days of your life. + + + * * * * * + +WOMEN WHO MAKE THE BEST WIVES. + + +1. CONSCIOUS OF THE DUTIES OF HER SEX.--A woman conscious of the +duties of her sex, one who unflinchingly discharges the duties +allotted to her by nature, would no doubt make a good wife. + +2. GOOD WIVES AND MOTHERS.--The good wives and mothers are the women +who believe in the sisterhood of women as well as in the brotherhood +of men. The highest exponent of this type seeks to make her home +something more than an abode where children are fed, clothed and +taught the catechism. The State has taken her children into politics +by making their education a function of politicians. The good wife +and homemaker says to her children, "Where thou goest, I will go." She +puts off her own inclinations to ease and selfishness. She studies the +men who propose to educate her children; she exhorts mothers to sit +beside fathers on the school-board; she will even herself accept such +thankless office in the interests of the helpless youth of the schools +who need a mother's as well as a father's and a teacher's care in this +field of politics. + +3. A BUSY WOMAN.--As to whether a busy woman, that is, a woman who +labors for mankind in the world outside her home,--whether such an one +can also be a good housekeeper, and care for her children, and make +a real "Home, Sweet Home!" with all the comforts by way of variation, +why! I am ready, as the result of years practical experience as a +busy woman, to assert that women of affairs can also be women of true +domestic tastes and habits. + +4. BRAINY ENOUGH.--What kind of women make the best wives? The +woman who is brainy enough to be a companion, wise enough to be +a counsellor, skilled enough in the domestic virtues to be a good +housekeeper, and loving enough to guide in true paths the children +with whom the home may be blessed. + +5. FOUND THE RIGHT HUSBAND.--The best wife is the woman who has found +the right husband, a husband who understands her. A man will have the +best wife when he rates that wife as queen among women. Of all women +she should always be to him the dearest. This sort of man will not +only praise the dishes made by his wife, but will actually eat them. + +6. BANK ACCOUNT.--He will allow his life-companion a bank account, +and will exact no itemized bill at the end of the month. Above all, he +will pay the Easter bonnet bill without a word, never bring a friend +to dinner without first telephoning home,--short, he will comprehend +that the woman who makes the best wife is the woman whom, by his +indulgence of her ways and whims, he makes the best wife. So after +all, good husbands have the most to do with making good wives. + +[Illustration: PUNISHMENT OF WIFE BEATERS IN NEW ENGLAND IN THE EARLY +DAYS.] + +7. BEST HOME MAKER.--A woman to be the best home maker needs to be +devoid of intensive "nerves." She must be neat and systematic, but not +too neat, lest she destroy the comfort she endeavors to create. She +must be distinctly amiable, while firm. She should have no "career," +or desire for a career, if she would fill to perfection the home +sphere. She must be affectionate, sympathetic and patient, and fully +appreciative of the worth and dignity of her sphere. + +8. KNOW NOTHING WHATSOEVER ABOUT COOKING OR SEWING OR HOUSEKEEPING.--I +am inclined to make my answer to this question somewhat concise, after +the manner of a text without the sermon. Like this: To be the "best +wife" depends upon three things: first, an abiding faith with God; +second, duty lovingly discharged as daughter, wife and mother; third, +self-improvement, mentally, physically, spiritually. With this as +a text and as a glittering generality, let me touch upon one or two +practical essentials. In the course of every week it is my privilege +to meet hundreds of young women,--prospective wives. I am astonished +to find that many of these know nothing whatsoever about cooking or +sewing or housekeeping. Now, if a woman cannot broil a beefsteak, nor +boil the coffee when it is necessary, if she cannot mend the linen, +nor patch a coat, if she cannot make a bed, order the dinner, create a +lamp-shade, ventilate the house, nor do anything practical in the way +of making home actually a home, how can she expect to make even a good +wife, not to speak of a better or best wife? I need not continue this +sermon. Wise girls will understand. + +9. THE BEST KEEPER OF HOME.--As to who is the best keeper of this +transition home, memory pictures to me a woman grown white under the +old slavery, still bound by it, in that little-out-of-the-way Kansas +town, but never so bound that she could not put aside household tasks, +at any time, for social intercourse, for religious conversation, for +correspondence, for reading, and, above all, for making everyone who +came near her feel that her home was the expression of herself, a +place for rest, study, and the cultivation of affection. She did not +exist for her walls, her carpets, her furniture; they existed for her +and all who came to her She considered herself the equal of all; and +everyone else thought her the superior of all. + + + * * * * * + +ADAPTATION, CONJUGAL AFFECTION, AND FATAL ERRORS. + +ADVICE TO THE MARRIED AND UNMARRIED. + + +1. MARRYING FOR WEALTH.--Those who marry for wealth often get what +they marry and nothing else; for rich girls besides being generally +destitute of both industry and economy, are generally extravagant +in their expenditures, and require servants enough to dissipate a +fortune. They generally have insatiable wants, yet feel that they +deserve to be indulged in everything, because they placed their +husbands under obligation to them by bringing them a dowry. And then +the mere idea of living on the money of a wife, and of being supported +by her, is enough to tantalize any man of an independent spirit. + +2. SELF-SUPPORT.--What spirited husband would not prefer to support +both himself and wife, rather than submit to this perpetual bondage +of obligation. To live upon a father, or take a patrimony from him, is +quite bad enough; but to run in debt to a wife, and owe her a living, +is a little too aggravating for endurance, especially if there be not +perfect cordiality between the two, which cannot be the case in money +matches. Better live wifeless, or anything else, rather than marry for +money. + +3. MONEY-SEEKERS.--Shame on sordid wife-seekers, or, rather, +money-seekers; for it is not a wife that they seek, but only filthy +lucre! They violate all their other faculties simply to gratify +miserly desire. Verily such "have their reward"! + +4. THE PENITENT HOUR.--And to you, young ladies, let me say with great +emphasis, that those who court and marry you because you are rich, +will make you rue the day of your pecuniary espousals. They care not +for you, but only your money, and when they get that, will be liable +to neglect or abuse you, and probably squander it, leaving you +destitute and abandoning you to your fate. + +6. INDUSTRY THE SIGN OF NOBILITY.--Marry a working, industrious young +lady, whose constitution is strong, flesh solid, and health unimpaired +by confinement, bad habits, or late hours. Give me a plain, home-spun +farmer's daughter, and you may have all the rich and fashionable +belles of our cities and villages. + +6. WASP WAISTS.--Marrying small waists is attended with consequences +scarcely less disastrous than marrying rich and fashionable girls. +An amply developed chest is a sure indication of a naturally vigorous +constitution and a strong hold on life; while small waists indicate +small and feeble vital organs, a delicate constitution, sickly +offspring, and a short life. Beware of them, therefore, unless you +wish your heart broken by the early death of your wife and children. + +[Illustration: UNTIL DEATH US DO PART.] + +7. MARRYING TALKERS.--In marrying a wit or a talker merely, though +the brilliant scintillations of the former, or the garrulity of the +latter, may amuse or delight you for the time being, yet you will +derive no permanent satisfaction from these qualities, for there will +be no common bond of kindred feeling to assimilate your souls and hold +each spell-bound at the shrine of the other's intellectual or moral +excellence. + +8. THE SECOND WIFE.--Many men, especially in choosing a second wife, +are governed by her own qualifications as a housekeeper mainly, and +marry industry and economy. Though these traits of character are +excellent, yet a good housekeeper may be far from being a good wife. +A good housekeeper, but a poor wife, may indeed prepare you a good +dinner, and keep her house and children neat and tidy, yet this is but +a part of the office of a wife; who, besides all her household duties, +has those of a far higher order to perform. She should soothe you with +her sympathies, divert your troubled mind, and make the whole family +happy by the gentleness of her manners, and the native goodness of her +heart. A husband should also likewise do his part. + +9. DO NOT MARRY A MAN WITH A LOW, FLAT HEAD; for, however fascinating, +genteel, polite, tender, plausible or winning he may be, you will +repent the day of your espousal. + +10. HEALTHY WIRES AND MOTHERS.--Let girls romp, and let them range +hill and dale in search of flowers, berries, or any other object of +amusement or attraction; let them bathe often, skip the rope, and take +a smart ride on horseback; often interspersing these amusements with +a turn of sweeping or washing, in order thereby to develop their vital +organs, and thus lay a substantial physical foundation for becoming +good wives and mothers. The wildest romps usually make the best wives, +while quiet, still, demure, sedate and sedentary girls are not worth +having. + +11. SMALL STATURE.--In passing, I will just remark, that good size is +important in wives and mothers. A small stature is objectionable in a +woman, because little women usually have too much activity for their +strength, and, consequently, feeble constitutions; hence they die +young, and besides, being nervous, suffer extremely as mothers. + +12. HARD TIMES AND MATRIMONY.--Many persons, particularly young men, +refuse to marry, especially "these hard time," because they cannot +support a wife in the style they wish. To this I reply, that a good +wife will care less for the style in which she is supported, than for +you. She will cheerfully conform to your necessities, and be happy +with you in a log-cabin. She will even help you support yourself. +To support a good wife, even if she have children, is really less +expensive than to board alone, besides being one of the surest means +of acquiring property. + +13. MARRYING FOR A HOME.--Do not, however, marry for a home merely, +unless you wish to become even more destitute with one than without +one; for, it is on the same footing with "marrying for money." Marry a +man for his merit; and you take no chances. + +14. MARRY TO PLEASE NO ONE BUT YOURSELF.--Marriage is a matter +exclusively your own; because you alone must abide its consequences. +No person, not even a parent, has the least right to interfere or +dictate in this matter. I never knew a marriage, made to please +another, to turn out any otherwise than most unhappily. + +15. DO NOT MARRY TO PLEASE YOUR PARENTS. Parents can not love for +their children any more than they can eat or sleep, or breathe, or die +and go to heaven for them. They may give wholesome advice merely, +but should leave the entire decision to the unbiased judgment of the +parties themselves, who mainly are to experience the consequences of +their choice. Besides, such is human nature, that to oppose lovers, or +to speak against the person beloved, only increases their desire and +determination to marry. + +16. RUN-AWAY MATCHES.--Many a run-away match would never have taken +place but for opposition or interference. Parents are mostly to be +blamed for these elopements. Their children marry partly out of +sprite and to be contrary. Their very natures tell them that +this interference is unjust--as it really is--and this excites +combativeness, firmness, and self-esteem, in combination with the +social faculties, to powerful and even blind resistance--which turmoil +of the faculties hastens the match. Let the affections of a daughter +be once slightly enlisted in your favor, and then let the "old folks" +start an opposition, and you may feel sure of your prize. If she did +not love you before, she will now, that you are persecuted. + +17. DISINHERITANCE.--Never disinherit, or threaten to disinherit, a +child for marrying against your will. If you wish a daughter not to +marry a certain man, oppose her, and she will be sure to marry him; so +also in reference to a son. + +18. PROPER TRAINING.--The secret is, however, all in a nutshell. Let +the father properly train his daughter, and she will bring her first +love-letter to him, and give him an opportunity to cherish a suitable +affection, and to nip an improper one in the germ, before it has time +to do any harm. + +19. THE FATAL MISTAKES OF PARENTS.--_There is, however one way of +effectually preventing an improper match, and that is, not to allow +your children to associate with any whom you are unwilling they should +marry. How cruel as well at unjust to allow a daughter to associate +with a young man till the affections of both are riveted, and then +forbid her marrying him. Forbid all association, or consent cheerfully +to the marriage._ + +20. AN INTEMPERATE LOVER.--Do not flatter yourselves young women, that +you can wean even an occasional wine drinker from his cups by love and +persuasion. Ardent spirit at first, kindles up the fires of love into +the fierce flames of burning licentiousness, which burn out every +element of love and destroy every vestige of pure affection. It +over-excites the passions, and thereby finally destroys it,--producing +at first, unbridled libertinism, and then an utter barrenness of love; +besides reversing the other faculties of the drinker against his own +consort, and those of the wife against her drinking husband. + + + * * * * * + +FIRST LOVE, DESERTION AND DIVORCE. + + +1. FIRST LOVE.--This is the most important direction of all. The +first love experiences a tenderness, a purity and unreservedness, an +exquisiteness, a devotedness, and a poetry belonging to no subsequent +attachment. "Love, like life, has no second spring." Though a +second attachment may be accompanied by high moral feeling, and to a +devotedness to the object loved; yet, let love be checked or +blighted in its first pure emotion, and the beauty of its spring is +irrecoverably withered and lost. This does not mean the simple love of +children in the first attachment they call love, but rather the mature +intelligent love of those of suitable age. + +[Illustration: MUSICAL CULTURE LESSON.] + +2. FREE FROM TEMPTATIONS.--As long as his heart is bound up in its +first bundle of love and devotedness--as long as his affections +remain reciprocated and uninterrupted--so long temptations cannot take +effect. This heart is callous to the charms of others, and the very +idea of bestowing his affections upon another is abhorrent. Much more +so is animal indulgence, which is morally impossible. + +3. SECOND LOVE NOT CONSTANT.--But let this first love be broken off, +and the flood-gates of passion are raised. Temptations now flow +in upon him. He casts a lustful eye upon every passing female, +and indulges unchaste imaginations and feelings. Although his +conscientiousness or intellect may prevent actual indulgence, yet +temptations now take effect, and render him liable to err; whereas +before they had no power to awaken improper thoughts or feelings. Thus +many young men find their ruin. + +4. LEGAL MARRIAGE.--What would any woman give for merely a nominal +or legal husband, just to live with and provide for her, but who +entertained not one spark of love for her, or whose affections were +bestowed upon another? How absurd, how preposterous the doctrine +that the obligations of marriage derive their sacredness from legal +enactments and injunctions! How it literally profanes this holy of +holies, and drags down this heaven-born institution from its original, +divine elevation, to the level of a merely human device. Who will dare +to advocate the human institution of marriage without the warm heart +of a devoted and loving companion! + +5. LEGISLATION.--But no human legislation can so guard this +institution but that it may be broken in spirit, though, perhaps, +acceded to in form; for, it is the heart which this institution +requires. There must be true and devoted affection, or marriage is a +farce and a failure. + +6. THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY AND THE LAW GOVERNING MARRIAGE are for the +protection of the individual, yet a man and woman may be married by +law and yet unmarried in spirit. The law may tie together, and no +marriage be consummated. Marriage therefore is Divine, and "whom God +hath joined together let no man put asunder." A right marriage means a +right state of the heart. A careful study of this work will be a great +help to both the unmarried and the married. + +7. DESERTION AND DIVORCE.--For a young man to court a young woman, +and excite her love till her affections are riveted, and then (from +sinister motives, such as, to marry one richer, or more handsome), to +leave her, and try elsewhere, is the very same crime as to divorce +her from all that she holds dear on earth--to root up and pull out her +imbedded affections, and to tear her from her rightful husband. First +love is always constant. The second love brings uncertainty--too often +desertions before marriage and divorces after marriage. + +8. THE COQUET.--The young woman to play the coquet, and sport with the +sincere affections of an honest and devoted young man, is one of the +highest crimes that human nature can commit. Better murder him in body +too, as she does in soul and morals, and it is the result of previous +disappointment, never the outcome of a sincere first love. + +9. ONE MARRIAGE. One evidence that second marriages are contrary +to the laws of our social nature, is the fact that almost all +step-parents and step-children disagree. Now, what law has been +broken, to induce this penalty? The law of marriage; and this is one +of the ways in which the breach punishes itself. It is much more in +accordance with our natural feelings, especially those of mothers, +that children should be brought up by their own parent. + +10. SECOND MARRIAGE.--Another proof of this point is, that second +marriage is more a matter of business. "I'll give you a home, if +you'll take care of my children." "It's a bargain," is the way most +second matches are made. There is little of the poetry of first-love, +and little of the coyness and shrinking diffidence which characterize +the first attachment. Still these remarks apply almost equally to a +second attachment, as to second marriage. + +11. THE CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER.--Let this portion be read +and pondered, and also the one entitled, "Marry your First Love if +possible," which assigns the cause, and points out the only remedy, of +licentiousness. As long as the main cause of this vice exists, and +is aggravated by purse-proud, high-born, aristocratic parents and +friends, and even by the virtuous and religious, just so long, and +exactly in the same ratio will this blighting Sirocco blast the +fairest flowers of female innocence and lovliness, and blight our +noblest specimens of manliness. No sin of our land is greater. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: A CLASSIC FRIEZE.] + +[Illustration: HOW MANY YOUNG GIRLS ARE RUINED.] + + + * * * * * + +FLIRTING AND ITS DANGERS. + + +1. NO EXCUSE.--In this country there is no excuse for the young man +who seeks the society of the loose and the dissolute. There is at all +times and everywhere open to him a society of persons of the opposite +sex of his own age and of pure thoughts and lives, whose conversation +will refine him and drive from his bosom ignoble and impure thoughts. + +2. THE DANGERS.--The young man who may take pleasure in the fact that +he is the hero of half a dozen or more engagements and love episodes, +little realizes that such constant excitement often causes not only +dangerously frequent and long-continued nocturnal emissions, but +most painful affections of the testicles. Those who show too great +familiarity with the other sex, who entertain lascivious thoughts, +continually exciting the sexual desires, always suffer a weakening +of power and sometimes the actual diseases of degeneration, chronic +inflammation of the gland, spermatorrhoea, impotence, and the +like.--Young man, beware; your punishment for trifling with the +affections of others may cost you a life of affliction. + +3. REMEDY.--Do not violate the social laws. Do not trifle with the +affections of your nature. Do not give others countless anguish, and +also do not run the chances of injuring yourself and others for +life. The society of refined and pure women is one of the strongest +safeguards a young man can have, and he who seeks it will not +only find satisfaction, but happiness. Simple friendship and kind +affections for each other will ennoble and benefit. + +4. THE TIME FOR MARRIAGE.--When a young man's means permit him to +marry, he should then look intelligently for her with whom he expects +to pass the remainder of his life in perfect loyalty, and in sincerity +and singleness of heart. Seek her to whom he is ready to swear to be +ever true. + +5. BREACH OF CONFIDENCE.--Nothing is more certain, says Dr. Naphey, +to undermine domestic felicity, and sap the foundation of marital +happiness, than marital infidelity. The risks of disease which a +married man runs in impure intercourse are far more serious, because +they not only involve himself, but his wife and his children. He +should know that there is nothing which a woman will not forgive +sooner than such a breach of confidence. He is exposed to the plots +and is pretty certain sooner or later to fall into the snares of those +atrocious parties who subsist on black-mail. And should he escape +these complications, he still must lose self-respect, and carry about +with him the burden of a guilty conscience and a broken vow. + +6. SOCIETY RULES AND CUSTOMS.--A young man can enjoy the society +of ladies without being a "flirt." He can escort ladies to parties, +public places of interest, social gatherings, etc., without showing +special devotion to any one special young lady. When he finds the +choice of his heart, then he will be justified to manifest it, +and publicly proclaim it by paying her the compliment, exclusive +attention. To keep a lady's company six months is a public +announcement of an engagement. + + + * * * * * + +A WORD TO MAIDENS. + + +1. NO YOUNG LADY who is not willing to assume the responsibility of a +true wife, and be crowned with the sacred diadem of motherhood, should +ever think of getting married. We have too many young ladies to-day +who despise maternity, who openly vow that they will never be burdened +with children, and yet enter matrimony at the first opportunity. What +is the result? Let echo answer, What? Unless a young lady believes +that motherhood is noble, is honorable, is divine, and she is willing +to carry out that sacred function of her nature, she had a thousand +times better refuse every proposal, and enter some honorable +occupation and wisely die an old maid by choice. + +2. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOUNG LADY, never enter into the physical +relations of marriage with a man until you have conversed with him +freely and fully on these relations. Learn distinctly his views and +feelings and expectations in regard to that purest and most ennobling +of all the functions of your nature, and the most sacred of all +intimacies of conjugal love. Your self-respect, your beauty, your +glory, your heaven, as a wife, will be more directly involved in his +feelings and views and practices, in regard to that relation, than in +all other things. As you would not become a weak, miserable, imbecile, +unlovable and degraded wife and mother, in the very prime of your +life, come to a perfect understanding with your chosen one, ere you +commit your person to his keeping in the sacred intimacies of home. +Beware of that man who, under pretence of delicacy, modesty, and +propriety, shuns conversation with you on this relation, and on the +hallowed function of maternity. + +3. TALK WITH YOUR INTENDED frankly and openly. Remember, concealment +and mystery in him, towards you, on all other subjects pertaining to +conjugal union might be overlooked, but if he conceals his views here, +rest assured it bodes no good to your purity and happiness as a wife +and mother. You can have no more certain assurance that you are to be +victimized, your soul and body offered up, _slain_ on the altar of his +sensualism, than his unwillingness to converse with you on subjects so +vital to your happiness. Unless he is willing to hold his manhood +in abeyance to the calls of your nature and to your conditions, and +consecrate its passions and its powers to the elevation and happiness +of his wife and children, your maiden soul had better return to God +unadorned with the diadem of conjugal and maternal love than that you +should become the wife of such man and the mother of his children. + +[Illustration: ROMAN LOVE MAKING.] + +[Illustration: UNIFORMED MEN ARE ALWAYS POPULAR.] + + + * * * * * + +POPPING THE QUESTION. + + +1. MAKING THE DECLARATION.--There are few emergencies in business and +few events in life that bring to man the trying ordeal of "proposing +to a lady." We should be glad to help the bashful lover in his hours +of perplexity, embarrassment and hesitation, but unfortunately we +cannot pop the question for him, nor give him a formula by which he +may do it. Different circumstances and different surroundings compel +every lover to be original in his form or mode of proposing. + +2. BASHFULNESS.--If a young man is very bashful, he should write his +sentiments in a clear, frank manner on a neat white sheet of note +paper, enclose it in a plain white envelope and find some way to +convey it to the lady's hand. + +3. THE ANSWER.--If the beloved one's heart is touched and she is +in sympathy with the lover, the answer should be frankly and +unequivocally given. If the negative answer is necessary, it should +be done in the kindest and most sympathetic language, yet definite, +positive and to the point, and the gentleman should at once withdraw +his suit and continue friendly but not familiar. + +4. SAYING "NO" FOR "YES."-If girls are foolish enough to say "No" when +they mean "Yes," they must suffer the consequences which often follow. +A man of intelligence and self-respect will not ask a lady twice. It +is begging for recognition and lowers his dignity, should he do so. +A lady is supposed to know her heart sufficiently to consider the +question to her satisfaction before giving an answer. + +5. CONFUSION OF WORDS AND MISUNDERSTANDING.--Sometimes a man's +happiness, has depended on his manner of popping the question. Many +a time the girl has said "No" because the question was so worded that +the affirmative did not come from the mouth naturally; and two lives +that gravitated toward each other with all their inward force have +been thrown suddenly apart, because the electric keys were not +carefully touched. + +6. SCRIPTURAL DECLARATION.--The church is not the proper place to +conduct a courtship, yet the following is suggestive and ingenious. + +A young gentleman, familiar with the Scriptures, happening to sit in a +pew adjoining a young lady for whom he conceived a violent attachment, +made his proposal in this way. He politely handed his neighbor a Bible +open, with a pin stuck in the following text: Second Epistle of John, +verse 5: + +"And I beseech thee, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment +unto thee, but that we had from the beginning, that we love one +another." + +She returned it, pointing to the second chapter of Ruth, verse 10: +"Then she fell on her face, and bowed herself to the ground, and said +unto him. Why have I found grace in thine eyes that thou shouldest +take knowledge of me, seeing I am a stranger?" + +[Illustration: SEALING THE ENGAGEMENT. From the Most Celebrated +Painting in the German Department at the World's Fair.] + +He returned the book, pointing to the 13th verse of the Third Epistle +of John: "Having many things to write unto you, I would not write to +you with paper and ink, but trust to come unto you and speak face to +face, that your joy may be full." + +From the above interview a marriage took place the ensuing month in +the same church. + +7. HOW JENNY WAS WON. + + On a sunny Summer morning, + Early as the dew was dry, + Up the hill I went a berrying; + Need I tell you--tell you why? + + Farmer Davis had a daughter. + And it happened that I knew, + On each sunny morning, Jenny + Up the hill went berrying too. + + Lonely work is picking berries, + So I joined her on the hill: + "Jenny, dear," said I, "your basket's + Quite too large for one to fill." + + So we stayed--we two--to fill it, + Jenny talking--I was still.-- + Leading where the hill was steepest, + Picking berries up the hill. + + "This is up-hill work," said Jenny; + "So is life," said I; "shall we + Climb it each alone, or, Jenny, + Will you come and climb with me?" + + Redder than the blushing berries + Jenny's cheek a moment grew, + While without delay she answered, + "I will come and climb with you." + +[Illustration: A PERUVIAN BEAUTY.] + +8. A ROMANTIC WAY FOR PROPOSING.--In Peru they have a romantic way +of popping the question. The suitor appears on the appointed evening, +with a gaily dressed troubadour under the balcony of his beloved. The +singer steps before her flower-bedecked window, and sings her beauties +in the name of her lover. He compares her size to that of a pear tree, +her lips to two blushing rose-buds, and her womanly form to that of a +dove. With assumed harshness the lady asks her lover: Who are you, and +what do you want? He answers with ardent confidence: "Thy love I do +adore. The stars live in the harmony of love, and why should not we, +too, love each other?" Then the proud beauty gives herself away: she +takes her flower-wreath from her hair and throws it down to her lover, +promising to be his forever. + +[Illustration: THE BRIDE.] + + + * * * * * + +THE WEDDING. + + +1. THE PROPER TIME.--Much has been printed in various volumes +regarding the time of the year, the influence of the seasons, etc., as +determining the proper time to set for the wedding day. Circumstances +must govern these things. To be sure, it is best to avoid extremes +of heat and cold. Very hot weather is debilitating, and below zero is +uncomfortable. + +2. THE LADY SHOULD SELECT THE DAY.--There is one element in the time +that is of great importance, physically, especially to the lady. It is +the day of the month, and it is hoped that every lady who contemplates +marriage is informed upon the great facts of ovulation. By reading +page 244 she will understand that it is to her advantage to select +a wedding day about fifteen or eighteen days after the close of +menstruation in the month chosen, since it is not best that the first +child should be conceived during the excitement or irritation of first +attempts at congress; besides modest brides naturally do not wish +to become large with child before the season of congratulation and +visiting on their return from the "wedding tour" is over. + +Again, it is asserted by many of the best writers on this subject, +that the mental condition of either parent at the time of intercourse +will be stamped upon the embryo hence it is not only best, but wise, +that the first-born should not be conceived until several months after +marriage, when the husband and wife have nicely settled in their new +home, and become calm in their experience of each other's society. + +3. THE "BRIDAL TOUR" is considered by many newly married couples as +a necessary introduction to a life of connubial joy. There is, in our +opinion, nothing in the custom to recommend it. After the excitement +and overwork before and accompanying a wedding, the period immediately +following should be one of _rest_. + +Again, the money expended on the ceremony and a tour of the principal +cities, etc., might, in most cases, be applied to a multitude of +after-life comforts of far more lasting value and importance. To be +sure, it is not pleasant for the bride, should she remain at home, +to pass through the ordeal of criticism and vulgar comments of +acquaintances and friends, and hence, to escape this, the young couple +feel like getting away for a time. Undoubtedly the best plan for the +great majority, after this most eventful ceremony, is to enter their +future home at once, and there to remain in comparative privacy until +the novelty of the situation is worn off. + +4. IF THE CONVENTIONAL TOUR is taken, the husband should remember +that his bride cannot stand the same amount of tramping around and +sight-seeing that he can. The female organs of generation are so +easily affected by excessive exercise of the limbs which support +them, that at this critical period it would be a foolish and cosily +experience to drag a lady hurriedly around the country on an extensive +and protracted round of sight-seeing or visiting. Unless good +common-sense is displayed in the manner of spending the "honey-moon," +it will prove very untrue to its name. In many cases it lays the +foundation for the wife's first and life-long "backache." + +[Illustration: THE GYPSY BRIDE.] + + + * * * * * + +ADVICE TO NEWLY MARRIED COUPLES. + + +1. "BE YE FRUITFUL AND MULTIPLY" is a Bible commandment which the +children of men habitually obey. However they may disagree on other +subjects, all are in accord on this; the barbarous, the civilized, the +high, the low, the fierce, the gentle--all unite in the desire which +finds its accomplishment in the reproduction of their kind. Who shall +quarrel with the Divinely implanted instinct, or declare it to be +vulgar or unmentionable? It is during the period of the honeymoon that +the intensity of this desire, coupled with the greatest curiosity, is +at its height, and the unbridled license often given the passions at +this time is attended with the most dangerous consequences. + +2. CONSUMMATION OF MARRIAGE.--The first time that the husband and wife +cohabit together after the ceremony has been performed is called the +consummation of marriage. Many grave errors have been committed by +people in this, when one or both of the contracting parties were +not physically or sexually in a condition to carry out the marriage +relation. A marriage, however, is complete without this in the eyes +of the law, as it is a maxim taken from the Roman civil statutes that +consent, not cohabitation, is the binding element in the ceremony. +Yet, in most States of the U.S., and in some other countries, marriage +is legally declared void and of no effect where it is not possible to +consummate the marriage relation. A divorce may be obtained provided +the injured party begins the suit. + +3. TEST OF VIRGINITY.--The consummation of marriage with a virgin is +not necessarily attended with a flow of blood, and the absence of this +sign is not the slightest presumption against her former chastity. +The true test of virginity is modesty void of any disagreeable +familiarity. A sincere Christian faith is one of the best +recommendations. + +4. LET EVERY MAN REMEMBER that the legal right of marriage does not +carry with it the moral right to injure for life the loving companion +he has chosen. Ignorance may be the cause, but every man before +he marries should know something of the physiology and the laws of +health, and we here give some information which is of very great +importance to every newly-married man. + +5. SENSUALITY.--Lust crucifies love. The young sensual husband is +generally at fault. Passion sways and the duty to bride and wife is +not thought of, and so a modest young wife is often actually forced +and assaulted by the unsympathetic haste of her husband. An amorous +man in that way soon destroys his own love, and thus is laid the +foundation for many difficulties that soon develop trouble and disturb +the happiness of both. + +6. ABUSE AFTER MARRIAGE.--Usually marriage is consummated within a day +or two after the ceremony, but this is gross injustice to the bride. +In most cases she is nervous, timid, and exhausted by the duties of +preparation for the wedding, and in no way in a condition, either in +body or mind, for the vital change which the married relation bring +upon her. Many a young husband often lays the foundation of many +diseases of the womb and of the nervous system in gratifying his +unchecked passions without a proper regard for his wife's exhausted +condition. + +7. THE FIRST CONJUGAL APPROACHES are usually painful to the new wife, +and no enjoyment to her follows. Great caution and kindness should +be exercised. A young couple rushing together in their animal passion +soon produce a nervous and irritating condition which ere long brings +apathy, indifference, if not dislike. True love and a high regard for +each other will temper passion into moderation. + +8. WERE THE ABOVE INJUNCTIONS HEEDED fully and literally it would +be folly to say more, but this would be omitting all account of the +bridegroom's new position, the power of his passion, and the timidity +of the fair creature who is wondering what fate has in store for her +trembling modesty. To be sure, there are some women who are possessed +of more forward natures and stronger desires than others. In such +cases there may be less trouble. + +9. A COMMON ERROR.--The young husband may have read in some treatise +on physiology that the hymen in a virgin is the great obstacle to be +overcome. He is apt to conclude that this is all, that some force will +be needed to break it down, and that therefore an amount of urgency +even to the degree of inflicting considerable pain is justifiable. +This is usually wrong. It rarely constitutes any obstruction and, even +when its rupturing may be necessary, it alone seldom causes suffering. + +There are sometimes certain deformities of the vagina, but no woman +should knowingly seek matrimonial relations when thus afflicted. + +We quote from Dr. C.A. Huff the following: + +10. "WHAT IS IT, THEN, THAT USUALLY CAUSES distress to many women, +whether a bride or a long-time wife?" The answer is, Simply those +conditions of the organs in which they are not properly prepared, by +anticipation and desire, to receive a foreign body. The modest one +craves only refined and platonic love at first, and if husbands, new +and old, would only realize this plain truth, wife-torturing would +cease and the happiness of each one of all human pairs vastly +increase. + +11. THE CONDITIONS OF THE FEMALE organs depend upon the state of the +mind just as much as in the case of the husband. The male, however, +being more sensual, is more quickly roused. She is far less often or +early ready. In its unexcited state the vagina is lax, its walls are +closed together, and their surfaces covered by but little lubricating +secretion. The chaster one of the pair has no desire that this sacred +vestibule to the great arcana of procreation shall be immediately and +roughly invaded. This, then, is the time for all approaches by +the husband to be of the most delicate, considerate, and refined +description possible. The quietest and softest demeanor, with gentle +and re-assuring words, are all that should be attempted at first. The +wedding day has probably been one of fatigue, and it is foolish to go +farther. + +12. FOR MORE THAN ONE NIGHT it will be wise, indeed, if the wife's +confidence shall be as much wooed and won by patient, delicate, and +prolonged courting, as before the marriage engagement. How long should +this period of waiting be can only be decided by the circumstances of +any case. The bride will ultimately deny no favor which is sought with +full deference to her modesty, and in connection with which bestiality +is not exhibited. Her nature is that of delicacy; her affection is +of a refined character; if the love and conduct offered to her are a +careful effort to adapt roughness and strength to her refinement and +weakness, her admiration and responsive love will be excited to the +utmost. + +13. WHEN THAT MOMENT ARRIVES when the bride finds she can repose +perfect confidence in the kindness of her husband, that his love is +not purely animal, and that no violence will be attempted, the power +of her affection for him will surely assert itself; the mind will +act on those organs which nature has endowed to fulfil the law of +her being, the walls of the vagina will expand, and the glands at +the entrance will be fully lubricated by a secretion of mucous which +renders congress a matter of comparative ease. + +14. WHEN THIS RESPONSIVE ENLARGEMENT and lubrication are fully +realized, it is made plain why the haste and force so common to first +and subsequent coition, is, as it has been justly called, nothing but +"legalized rape." Young husband, Prove your manhood, not by yielding +to unbridled lust and cruelty, but by the exhibition of true power in +_self-control_ and patience with the helpless being confided to your +care. Prolong the delightful season of courting into and _through_ +wedded life and rich shall be your reward. + +15. A WANT OF DESIRE may often prevail, and may be caused by loss +of sleep, study, constant thought, mental disturbance, anxiety, +self-abuse, excessive use of tobacco or alcoholic drink, etc. Overwork +may cause debility; a man may not have an erection for months, yet it +may not be a sign of debility, sexual lethargy or impotence. Get the +mind and the physical constitution in proper condition, and most all +these difficulties will disappear. Good athletic exercise by walking, +riding, or playing croquet, or any other amusement, will greatly +improve the condition. A good rest, however, will be necessary to +fully restore the mind and the body, then the natural condition of the +sexual organs will be resumed. + +16. HAVING TWINS.--Having twins is undoubtedly hereditary and +descends from generation to generation, and persons who have twins +are generally those who have great sexual vigor. It is generally the +result of a second cohabitation immediately following the first, but +some parents have twins who cohabit but once during several days. + +17. PROPER INTERCOURSE.--The right relation of a newly-married couple +will rather increase than diminish love. To thus offer up the maiden +on the altar of love and affection only swells her flood of joy +and bliss; whereas, on the other hand, sensuality humbles, debases, +pollutes, and never elevates. Young husbands should wait for an +_invitation to the banquet_ and they will be amply paid by the very +pleasure sought. Invitation or permission delights, and possession by +force degrades. The right-minded bridegroom will postpone the exercise +of his nuptial rights for a few days, and allow his young wife to +become rested from the preparation and fatigue of the wedding, and +become accustomed to the changes in her new relations of life. + +18. RIGHTLY BEGINNING SEXUAL LIFE.--Intercourse promotes all the +functions of the body and mind, but rampant just and sexual abuses +soon destroy the natural pleasures of intercourse, and unhappiness +will be the result. Remember that _intercourse_ should not become the +polluted purpose of marriage. To be sure, rational enjoyment benefits +and stimulates love, but the pleasure of each other's society, +standing together on all questions of mutual benefit, working hand in +hand and shoulder to shoulder in the battle of life, raising a family +of beautiful children, sharing each other's joys and sorrows, are +the things that bring to every couple the best, purest, and noblest +enjoyment that God has bestowed upon man. + +[Illustration: A TURKISH HAREM.] + + + * * * * * + +SEXUAL PROPRIETIES AND IMPROPRIETIES. + + +1. To have offspring is not to be regarded as a luxury, but as a +great primary necessity of health and happiness, of which every +fully-developed man and woman should have a fair share, while it +cannot be denied that the ignorance of the necessity of sexual +intercourse to the health and virtue of both man and woman is the most +fundamental error in medical and moral philosophy. + +2. In a state of pure nature, where man would have his sexual +instincts under full and natural restraint, there would be little, +if any, licentiousness, and children would be the result of natural +desire, and not the accidents of lust. + +3. This is an age of sensuality; unnatural passions cultivated and +indulged. Young people in the course of their engagement often sow +the seed of serious excesses. This habit of embracing, sitting on the +lover's lap, leaning on his breast, long and uninterrupted periods of +secluded companionship, have become so common that it is amazing how +a young lady can safely arrive at the wedding day. While this conduct +may safely terminate with the wedding day, yet it cultivates the +tendency which often results in excessive indulgencies after the +honey-moon is over. + +4. SEPARATE BEDS.--Many writers have vigorously championed as a reform +the practice of separate beds for husband and wife. While we would not +recommend such separation, it is no doubt very much better for both +husband and wife, in case the wife is pregnant. Where people are +reasonably temperate, no such ordinary precautions as separate +sleeping places may be necessary. But in case of pregnancy it will +add rest to the mother and add vigor to the unborn child. Sleeping +together, however, is natural and cultivates true affection, and it +is physiologically true that in very cold weather life is prolonged by +husband and wife sleeping together. + +5. THE AUTHORITY OF THE WIFE.--Let the wife judge whether she desires +a separate couch or not. She has the superior right to control her own +person. In such diseases as consumption, or other severe or lingering +diseases, separate beds should always be insisted upon. + +6. THE TIME FOR INDULGENCE.--The health of the generative functions +depends upon exercise, just the same as any other vital organ. +Intercourse should be absolutely avoided just before or after meals, +or just after mental excitement or physical exercise. No wife should +indulge her husband when he is under the influence of alcoholic +stimulants, for idiocy and other serious maladies are liable to be +visited upon the offspring. + +7. RESTRAINT DURING PREGNANCY.--There is no question but what moderate +indulgence during the first few months of pregnancy does not result +in serious harm; but people who excessively satisfy their ill-governed +passions are liable to pay a serious penalty. + +8. MISCARRIAGE.--If a woman is liable to abortion or miscarriage, +absolute abstinence is the only remedy. No sexual indulgence during +pregnancy can be safely tolerated. + +9. It is better for people not to marry until they are of proper age. +It is a physiological fact that men seldom reach the full maturity +or their virile power before the age of twenty-five, and the female +rarely attains the full vigor of her sexual powers before the age of +twenty. + +10. ILLICIT PLEASURES.--The indulgence of illicit pleasures, says +Dr. S. Pancoast, sooner or later is sure to entail the most loathsome +diseases on their votaries. Among these diseases are Gonorrhoea, +Syphilis, Spermatorrhoea (waste of semen by daily and nightly +involuntary emissions), Satyriasis (a species of sexual madness, or +a sexual diabolism, causing men to commit rape and other beastly acts +and outrages, not only on women and children, but men and animals, as +sodomy, pederasty, etc.), Nymphomania (causing women to assail every +man they meet, and supplicate and excite him to gratify their lustful +passions, or who resort to means of sexual pollutions, which is +impossible to describe without shuddering), together with spinal +diseases and many disorders of the most distressing and disgusting +character filling the bones with rottenness, and eating away the +flesh by gangrenous ulcers, until the patient dies, a horrible mass of +putridity and corruption. + +11. SENSUALITY.--Sensuality is not love, but an unbridled desire which +kills the soul. Sensuality will drive away the roses in the cheeks of +womanhood, undermine health and produce a brazen countenance that can +be read by all men. The harlot may commit her sins in the dark, but +her countenance reveals her character and her immorality is an open +secret. + +12. SEXUAL TEMPERANCE.--All excesses and absurdities of every kind +should be carefully avoided. Many of the female disorders which often +revenge themselves in the cessation of all sexual pleasure are largely +due to the excessive practice of sexual indulgence. + +13. FREQUENCY.--Some writers claim that intercourse should never +occur except for the purpose of childbearing but such restraint is +not natural and consequently not conducive to health. There are many +conditions in which the health of the mother and offspring must be +respected. It is now held that it is nearer a crime than a virtue to +prostitute woman to the degradation of breeding animals by compelling +her to bring into life more offspring than can be born healthy, or be +properly cared for and educated. + +14. In this work we shall attempt to specify no rule, but simply give +advice as to the health and happiness of both man and wife. A man +should not gratify his own desires at the expense of his wife's +health, comfort or inclination. Many men no doubt harass their wives +and force many burdens upon their slender constitutions. But it is a +great sin and no true husband will demand unreasonable recognition. +The wife when physically able, however, should bear with her husband. +Man is naturally sensitive on this subject, and it takes but little to +alienate his affections and bring discover into the family. + +15. The best writers lay down the rule for the government of the +marriage-bed, that sexual indulgence should only occur about once in a +week or ten days, and this of course applies only to those who enjoy +a fair degree of health. But it is a hygienic and physiological fact +that those who indulge only once a month receive a far greater degree +of the intensity of enjoyment than those who indulge their passions +more frequently. Much pleasure is lost by excesses where much might be +gained by temperance giving rest to the organs for the accumulation of +nervous force. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO PERPETUATE THE HONEY-MOON. + + +1. CONTINUE YOUR COURTSHIP.--Like causes produce like effects. + +2. NEGLECT OF YOUR COMPANION.--Do not assume a right to neglect your +companion more after marriage than you did before. + +3. SECRETS.--Have no secrets that you keep from your companion. A +third party is always disturbing. + +4. AVOID THE APPEARANCE OF EVIL.--In matrimonial matters it is often +that the mere appearance contains all the evil. Love, as soon as it +rises above calculation and becomes love, is exacting. It gives all, +and demands all. + +5. ONCE MARRIED, NEVER OPEN YOUR MIND TO ANY CHANGE. If you keep the +door of your purpose closed, evil or even desirable changes cannot +make headway without help. + +6. KEEP STEP IN MENTAL DEVELOPMENT.--A tree that grows for forty years +may take all the sunlight from a tree that stops growing at twenty. + +7. KEEP A LIVELY INTEREST IN THE BUSINESS OF THE HOME.--Two that do +not pull together are weaker than either alone. + +8. GAUGE YOUR EXPENSES BY YOUR REVENUES.--Love must eat. The sheriff +often levies on Cupid long before he takes away the old furniture. + +9. START FROM WHERE YOUR PARENTS STARTED RATHER THAN FROM WHERE THEY +NOW ARE.--Hollow and showy boarding often furnishes the too strong +temptation, while the quietness of a humble home would cement the +hearts beyond risk. + +10. AVOID DEBT.--Spend your own money, but earn it first, then it will +not be necessary to blame any one for spending other people's. + +11. DO NOT BOTH GET ANGRY AT THE SAME TIME.--Remember, it takes two to +quarrel. + +12. DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF EVER TO COME TO AN OPEN RUPTURE.--Things +unsaid need less repentance. + +13. STUDY TO CONFORM YOUR TASTES AND HABITS TO THE TASTES AND HABITS +OF YOUR COMPANION.--If two walk together, they must agree. + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE. + + +1. REVERENCE YOUR HUSBAND.--He sustains by God's order a position of +dignity as head of a family, head of the woman. Any breaking down +of this order indicates a mistake in the union, or a digression from +duty. + +2. LOVE HIM.--A wife loves as naturally as the sun shines. Love is +your best weapon. You conquered him with that in the first place. You +can reconquer by the same means. + +3. DO NOT CONCEAL YOUR LOVE FROM HIM.--If he is crowded with care, and +too busy to seem to heed your love, you need to give all the greater +attention to securing his knowledge of your love. If you intermit he +will settle down into a hard, cold life with increased rapidity. Your +example will keep the light on his conviction. The more he neglects +the fire on the hearth, the more carefully must you feed and guard +it. It must not be allowed to go out. Once out you must sit ever in +darkness and in the cold. + +4. CULTIVATE THE MODESTY AND DELICACY OF YOUR YOUTH.--The relations +and familiarity of wedded life may seem to tone down the sensitive +and retiring instincts of girlhood, but nothing can compensate for the +loss of these. However, much men may admire the public performance of +gifted women, they do not desire that boldness and dash in a wife. +The holy blush of a maiden's modesty is more powerful in hallowing and +governing a home than the heaviest armament that ever a warrior bore. + +5. CULTIVATE PERSONAL ATTRACTIVENESS.--This means the storing of your +mind with a knowledge of passing events, and with a good idea of the +world's general advance. If you read nothing, and make no effort to +make yourself attractive, you will soon sink down into a dull hack of +stupidity. If your husband never hears from you any words of wisdom, +or of common information, he will soon hear nothing from you. Dress +and gossips soon wear out. If your memory is weak, so that it hardly +seems worth while to read, that is additional reason for reading. + +[Illustration: TALKING BEFORE MARRIAGE.] + +6. CULTIVATE PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS.--When you were encouraging the +attentions of him whom you now call husband, you did not neglect any +item of dress or appearance that could help you. Your hair was always +in perfect training. You never greeted him with a ragged or untidy +dress or soiled hands. It is true that your "market is made," but you +cannot afford to have it "broken." Cleanliness and good taste will +attract now as they did formerly. Keep yourself at your best. Make +the most of physical endowments. Neatness and order break the power of +poverty. + +7. STUDY YOUR HUSBAND'S CHARACTER.--He has his peculiarities. He has +no right to many of them, and you need to know them; thus you can +avoid many hours of friction. The good pilot steers around the sunken +rocks that lie in the channel. The engineer may remove them, not the +pilot. You are more pilot than engineer. Consult his tastes. It is +more important to your home, that you should please him than anybody +else. + +8. PRACTICE ECONOMY.--Many families are cast out of peace into +grumbling and discord by being compelled to fight against poverty. +When there are no great distresses to be endured or accounted for, +complaint and fault-finding are not so often evoked. Keep your husband +free from the annoyance of disappointed creditors, and he will be more +apt to keep free from annoying you. To toil hard for bread, to fight +the wolf from the door, to resist impatient creditors, to struggle +against complaining pride at home, is too much to ask of one man. A +crust that is your own is a feast, while a feast that is purloined +from unwilling creditors if a famine. + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND. + + +1. SHOW YOUR LOVE.--All life manifests itself. As certainly as a live +tree will put forth leaves in the spring, so certainly will a living +love show itself. Many a noble man toils early and late to earn bread +and position for his wife. He hesitates at no weariness for her sake. +He justly thinks that such industry and providence give a better +expression of his love than he could by caressing her and letting the +grocery bills go unpaid. He fills the cellar and pantry. He drives and +pushes his business. He never dreams that he is actually starving his +wife to death. He may soon have a woman left to superintend his home, +but his wife is dying. She must be kept alive by the same process that +called her into being. Recall and repeat the little attentions and +delicate compliments that once made you so agreeable, and that fanned +her love into a consuming flame. It is not beneath the dignity of the +skillful physician to study all the little symptoms, and order all the +little round of attentions that check the waste of strength and brace +the staggering constitution. It is good work for a husband to cherish +his wife. + +[Illustration: TALKING AFTER MARRIAGE.] + +2. CONSULT WITH YOUR WIFE.--She is apt to be as right as you are, and +frequently able to add much to your stock of wisdom. In any event she +appreciates your attentions. + +3. STUDY TO KEEP HER YOUNG.--It can be done. It is not work, but +worry, that wears. Keep a brave, true heart between her and all harm. + +4. HELP TO BEAR HER BURDENS.--Bear one another's burdens, and so +fulfill the law of love. Love seeks opportunities to do for the loved +object. She has the constant care of your children. She is ordained +by the Lord to stand guard over them. Not a disease can appear in the +community without her taking the alarm. Not a disease can come over +the threshold without her instantly springing into the mortal combat. +If there is a deficiency anywhere it comes out of her pleasure. Her +burdens are everywhere. Look for them, that you may lighten them. + +5. MAKE YOURSELF HELPFUL BY THOUGHTFULNESS.--Remember to bring into +the house your best smile and sunshine. It is good for you, and it +cheers up the home. There is hardly a nook in the house that has not +been carefully hunted through to drive out everything that might annoy +you. The dinner which suits, or ought to suit you, has not come on the +table of itself. It represents much thoughtfulness and work. You can +do no more manly thing than find some way of expressing, in word or +look, your appreciation of it. + +6. EXPRESS YOUR WILL, NOT BY COMMANDS, BUT BY SUGGESTIONS.--It is +God's order that you should be the head of the family. You are clothed +with authority. But this does not authorize you to be stern and harsh, +as an officer in the army. Your authority is the dignity of love. +When it is not clothed in love it ceases to have the substance of +authority. A simple suggestion that may embody a wish, an opinion or +an argument, becomes one who reigns over such a kingdom as yours. + +7. SEEK TO REFINE YOUR NATURE.--It is no slander to say that many men +have wives much more refined than themselves. This is natural in the +inequalities of life. Other qualities may compensate for any defect +here. But you need have no defect in refinement. Preserve the +gentleness and refinement of your wife as a rich legacy for your +children, and in so doing you will lift yourself to higher levels. + +8. BE A GENTLEMAN AS WELL AS A HUSBAND.--The signs and bronze and +callouses of toil are no indications that you are not a gentleman. +The soul of gentlemanliness is a kindly feeling toward others, that +prompts one to secure their comfort. That is why the thoughtful +peasant lover is always so gentlemanly, and in his love much above +himself. + +9. STAY AT HOME.--Habitual absence during the evenings is sure to +bring sorrow. If your duty or business calls you you have the promise +that you will be kept in all your ways. But if you go out to mingle +with other society, and leave your wife at home alone, or with the +children and servants, know that there is no good in store for you. +She has claims upon you that you can not afford to allow to go to +protest. Reverse the case. You sit down alone after having waited +all day for your wife's return, and think of her as reveling in gay +society, and see if you can keep out all the doubts as to what takes +her away. If your home is not as attractive as you want it, you are +a principal partner. Set yourself about the work of making it +attractive. + +10. TAKE YOUR WIFE WITH YOU INTO SOCIETY.--Seclusion begets +morbidness. She needs some of the life that comes from contact with +society. She must see how other people appear and act. It often +requires an exertion for her to go out of her home, but it is good for +her and for you. She will bring back more sunshine. It is wise to rest +sometimes. When the Arab stops for his dinner he unpacks his camel. +Treat your wife with as much consideration. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: TIRED OF LIFE.] + + + * * * * * + +CAUSE OF FAMILY TROUBLES. + + +1. MUCH BETTER TO BE ALONE.--He who made man said it is not good for +him to be alone; but it is much better to be alone, than it is to be +in some kinds of company. Many couples who felt unhappy when they were +apart, have been utterly miserable when together; and scores who have +been ready to go through fire and water to get married, have been +willing to run the risk of fire and brimstone to get divorced. It is +by no means certain that because persons are wretched before marriage +they will be happy after it. The wretchedness of many homes, and the +prevalence of immorality and divorce is a sad commentary on the evils +which result from unwise marriages. + +2. UNAVOIDABLE EVILS.--There are plenty of unavoidable evils in this +world, and it is mournful to think of the multitudes who are preparing +themselves for needless disappointments, and who yet have no fear, +and are unwilling to be instructed, cautioned or warned. To them +the experience of mature life is of little account compared with the +wisdom of ardent and enthusiastic youth. + +3. MATRIMONIAL INFELICITY.--One great cause of matrimonial infelicity +is the hasty marriages of persons who have no adequate knowledge of +each other's characters. Two strangers become acquainted, and are +attracted to each other, and without taking half the trouble to +investigate or inquire that a prudent man would take before buying a +saddle horse, they are married. In a few weeks or months it is perhaps +found that one of the parties was married already, or possibly that +the man is drunken or vicious, or the woman anything but what she +should be. Then begins the bitter part of the experience: shame, +disgrace, scandal, separation, sin and divorce, all come as the +natural results of a rash and foolish marriage. A little time spent +in honest, candid, and careful preliminary inquiry and investigations +would have saved the trouble. + +4. THE CLIMAX.--It has been said that a man is never utterly ruined +until he has married a bad woman. So the climax of woman's miseries +and sorrows may be said to come only when she is bound with that bond +which should be her chiefest blessing and her highest joy, but which +may prove her deepest sorrow and her bitterest curse. + +5. THE FOLLY OF FOLLIES.--There are some lessons which people are very +slow to learn, and yet which are based upon the simple principles of +common-sense. A young lady casts her eye upon a young man. She says, +"I mean to have that man." She plies her arts, engages his +affections, marries him, and secures for herself a life of sorrow and +disappointment, ending perhaps in a broken up home or an early grave. +Any prudent, intelligent person of mature age, might have warned or +cautioned her; but she sought no advice, and accepted no admonition. A +young man may pursue a similar course with equally disastrous results. + +6. HAP-HAZARD.--Many marriages are undoubtedly arranged by what may be +termed the accident of locality. Persons live near each other, become +acquainted, and engage themselves to those whom they never would have +selected as their companions in life if they had wider opportunities +of acquaintance. Within the borders of their limited circle they make +a selection which may be wise or may be unwise. They have no means +of judging, they allow no one else to judge for them. The results are +sometimes happy and sometimes unhappy in the extreme. It is well +to act cautiously in doing what can be done but once. It is not a +pleasant experience for a person to find out a mistake when it is too +late to rectify it. + +7. WE ALL CHANGE.--When two persons of opposite sex are often thrown +together they are very naturally attracted to each other, and are +liable to imbibe the opinion that they are better fitted for life-long +companionship than any other two persons in the world. This may be the +case, or it may not be. There are a thousand chances against such a +conclusion to one in favor of it. But even if at the present moment +these two persons were fitted to be associated, no one can tell +whether the case will be the same five or ten years hence. Men change; +women change; they are not the same they were ten years ago; they are +not the same they will be ten years hence. + +8. THE SAFE RULE.--Do not be in a hurry; take your time and consider +well before you allow your devotion to rule you. Study first your +character, then study the character of her whom you desire to +marry. Love works mysteriously, and if it will bear careful and cool +investigation, it will no doubt thrive under adversity. When people +marry they unite their destinies for the better or the worse. Marriage +is a contract for life and will never bear a hasty conclusion. _Never +be in a hurry_! + + + * * * * * + +JEALOUSY--ITS CAUSE AND CURE. + + + Trifles, light as air + Are to the jealous confirmations strong, + As proofs of holy writ.--SHAKESPEARE. + + Nor Jealousy + Was understood, the injur'd lover's hell.--MILTON + + O, beware, my lord, of jealousy; + It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock + The meat it feeds on.--SHAKESPEARE. + + +1. DEFINITION.--Jealousy is an accidental passion, for which the +faculty indeed is unborn. In its nobler form and in its nobler motives +it arises from love, and in its lower form it arises from the deepest +and darkest Pit of Satan. + +2. HOW DEVELOPED.--Jealousy arises either from weakness, which from a +sense of its own want of lovable qualities is not convinced of being +sure of its cause, or from distrust, which thinks the beloved person +capable of infidelity. Sometimes all these motives may act together. + +3. NOBLEST JEALOUSY.--The noblest jealousy, if the term noble is +appropriate, is a sort of ambition or pride of the loving person who +feels it is an insult that another one should assume it as possible to +supplant his love, or it is the highest degree of devotion which sees +a declaration of its object in the foreign invasion, as it were, of +his own altar. Jealousy is always a sign that a little more wisdom +might adorn the individual without harm. + +4. THE LOWEST JEALOUSY.--The lowest species of jealousy is a sort of +avarice of envy which, without being capable of love, at least wishes +to possess the object of its jealousy alone by the one party assuming +a sort of property right over the other. This jealousy, which might +be called the Satanic, is generally to be found with old withered +"husbands," whom the devil has prompted to marry young women and who +forthwith dream night and day of cuck-old's horns. These Argus-eyed +keepers are no longer capable of any feeling that could be called +love, they are rather as a rule heartless house-tyrants, and are in +constant dread that some one may admire or appreciate his unfortunate +slave. + +5. WANT OF LORE.--The general conclusion will be that jealousy is more +the result of wrong conditions which cause uncongenial unions, and +which through moral corruption artificially create distrust than a +necessary accompaniment of love. + +[Illustration: SEEKING THE LIFE OF A RIVAL.] + +6. RESULT OF POOR OPINION.--Jealousy is a passion with which those are +most afflicted who are the least worthy of love. An innocent maiden +who enters marriage will not dream of getting jealous; but all her +innocence cannot secure her against the jealousy of her husband if he +has been a libertine. Those are wont to be the most jealous who have +the consciousness that they themselves are most deserving of jealousy. +Most men in consequence of their present education and corruption have +so poor an opinion not only of the male, but even of the female sex, +that they believe every woman at every moment capable of what they +themselves have looked for among all and have found among the most +unfortunate, the prostitutes. No libertine can believe in the purity +of woman; it is contrary to nature. A libertine therefore cannot +believe in the loyalty of a faithful wife. + +7. WHEN JUSTIFIABLE.--There may be occasions where jealousy is +justifiable. If a woman's confidence has been shaken in her husband, +or a husband's confidence has been shaken in his wife by certain signs +or conduct, which have no other meaning but that of infidelity, then +there is just cause for jealousy. There must, however, be certain +proof as evidence of the wife's or husband's immoral conduct. +Imaginations or any foolish absurdities should have no consideration +whatever, and let everyone have confidence until his or her faith has +been shaken by the revelation of absolute facts. + +8. CAUTION AND ADVICE.--No couple should allow their associations +to develop into an engagement and marriage if either one has any +inclination to jealousy. It shows invariably a want of sufficient +confidence, and that want of confidence, instead of being diminished +after marriage, is liable to increase, until by the aid of the +imagination and wrong interpretation the home is made a hell and +divorce a necessity. Let it be remembered, there can be no true love +without perfect and absolute confidence, jealousy is always the sign +of weakness or madness. Avoid a jealous disposition, for it is an open +acknowledgment of a lack of faith. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +THE IMPROVEMENT OF OFFSPRING. + +Why Bring Into the World Idiots, Fools, Criminals and Lunatics? + + +1. THE RIGHT WAY.--When mankind will properly love AND marry and then +rightly generate, carry, nurse and educate their children, will they +in deed and in truth carry out the holy and happy purpose of their +Creator. See those miserable and depraved scape-goats of humanity, +the demented simpletons, the half-crazy, unbalanced multitudes +which infest our earth, and fill our prisons with criminals and +our poor-houses with paupers. Oh! the boundless capabilities and +perfections of our God-like nature and, alas! its deformities! All +is the result of the ignorance or indifference of parents. As long as +children are the accidents of lust instead of the premeditated objects +of love, so long will the offspring deteriorate and the world be +cursed with deformities, monstrosities, unhumanities and cranks. + +2. EACH AFTER ITS KIND.--"Like parents like children." "In their own +image beget" they them. In what other can they? "How can a corrupt +tree bring forth good fruit?" How can animal propensities in parents +generate other than depraved children, or moral purity beget beings +other than as holy by nature as those at whose hands they received +existence and constitution? + +3. AS ARE THE PARENTS, physically, mentally and morally when they +stamp their own image and likeness upon progeny, so will be the +constitution of that progeny. + +4. "JUST AS THE TWIG IS BENT THE TREE'S INCLINED."--Yet the bramble +cannot be bent to bear delicious peaches, nor the sycamore to bear +grain. Education is something, _but parentage_ is _everything_; +because it "_dyes in the wool_" and thereby exerts an influence on +character almost infinitely more powerful than all other conditions +put together. + +5. HEALTHY AND BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN.--Thoughtless mortal! Before +you allow the first goings forth of love, learn what the parental +conditions in you mean, and you will confer a great boon upon the +prospective bone of your bone, and flesh of your flesh! If it is in +your power to be the parent of beautiful, healthy, moral and talented +children instead of diseased and depraved, is it not your imperious +duty then, to impart to them that physical power, moral perfection, +and intellectual capability, which shall ennoble their lives and make +them good people and good citizens? + +6. PAUSE AND TREMBLE.--Prospective parents! Will you trifle with +the dearest interests of your children? Will you in matters thus +momentous, head-long rush + + "Where angels dare not tread," + +Seeking only mere animal indulgence?--Well might cherubim shrink from +assuming responsibilities thus momentous Yet, how many parents tread +this holy ground completely unprepared, and almost as thoughtlessly +and Ignorantly as brutes--entailing even loathsome diseases and +sensual propensities upon the fruit of their own bodies. Whereas they +are bound, by obligations the most imperious to bestow on them a +good physical organization, along with a pure, moral, and strong +intellectual constitution, or else not to become parents! Especially +since it is easier to generate human angels than devils incarnate. + +7. HEREDITARY DESCENT.--This great law of things, "Hereditary +Descent," fully proves and illustrates in any required number and +variety or cases, showing that progeny inherits the constitutional +natures and characters, mental and physical, of parents, including +pre-dispositions to consumption, insanity, all sorts of disease, +etc., as well as longevity, strength, stature, looks, disposition, +talents,--all that is constitutional. From what other source do or can +they come? Indeed, who can doubt a truth as palpable as that children +inherit some, and if some, therefore all, the physical and mental +nature and constitutor of parents, thus becoming almost their +fac-similes? + +8. ILLUSTRATIONS.--A whaleman was severely hurt by a harpooned and +desperate whale turning upon the small boat, and, by his monstrous +jaws, smashing it to pieces, one of which, striking him in his right +side, crippled him for life. When sufficiently recovered, he married, +according to previous engagement, and his daughter, born in due time, +and closely resembling him in looks, constitution and character, has a +weak and sore place corresponding in location with that of the injury +of her father. Tubercles have been found in the lungs of infants at +birth, born of consumptive parents,--a proof, clear and demonstrative, +that children inherit the several states of parental physiology +existing at the time they received their physiological constitution. +The same is true of the transmission of those diseases consequent +on the violation of the law of chastity, and the same conclusion +established thereby. + +9. PARENT'S PARTICIPATION.--Each parent furnishing at indispensable +portion of the materials of life, and somehow or other, contributes +parentally to the formation of the constitutional character of their +joint product, appears far more reasonable, than to ascribe, as many +do, the whole to either some to paternity, others to maternity. Still +this decision go which way it may, does not affect the great fact that +children inherit both the physiology and the mentality existing in +parents at the time they received being and constitution. + +10. ILLEGITIMATES OR BASTARDS also furnish strong proof of the +correctness of this our leading doctrine. They are generally lively, +sprightly, witty, frolicksome, knowing, quiet of perception, apt to +learn, full of passion, quick-tempered, impulsive throughout, hasty, +indiscreet, given to excesses, yet abound in good feeling, and are +well calculated to enjoy life, though in general sadly deficient in +some essential moral elements. + +11. CHARACTER OF ILLEGITIMATES.--Wherein, then, consists this +difference? First, in "novelty lending an enchantment" rarely +experienced in sated wedlock, as well as in, power of passion +sufficient to break through all restraint, external and internal; and +hence their high wrought organization. They are usually wary and on +the alert, and their parents drank "stolen waters." They are commonly +wanting in moral balance, or else delinquent in some important moral +aspect; nor would they have ever been born unless this had been the +case, for the time being at least with their parents. Behold in these, +and many other respects easily cited, how striking the coincidence +between their characters on the one hand, and, on the other, those +parental conditions necessarily attendant on their origin. + +12. CHILDREN'S CONDITION depends upon parents' condition at the time +of the sexual embrace. Let parents recall, as nearly as may be their +circumstances and states of body and mind at this period, and place +them by the side of the physical and mental constitutions of their +children, and then say whether this law is not a great practical +truth, and if so, its importance is as the happiness and misery it is +capable of affecting! The application of this mighty engine of good or +evil to mankind, to the promotion of human advancement, is the great +question which should profoundly interest all parents. + +13. THE VITAL PERIOD.--The physical condition of parents at the vital +period of transmission of life should be a perfect condition of health +in both body and mind, and a vigorous condition of all the animal +organs and functions. + +14. MUSCULAR PREPARATION.--Especially should parents cultivate their +muscular system preparatory to the perfection of this function, and of +their children; because, to impart strength and stamina to offspring +they must of necessity both possess a good muscular organization, +and also bring it into vigorous requisition at this period. For this +reason, if for no other, let those of sedentary habits cultivate +muscular energy preparatory to this time of need. + +15. THE SEED.--So exceedingly delicate are the seeds of life, that, +unless planted in a place of perfect security, they must all be +destroyed and our race itself extinguished. And what place is as +secure as that chosen, where they can be reached only with the utmost +difficulty, and than only as the peril of even life itself? Imperfect +seed sown in poor ground means a sickly harvest. + +16. HEALTHY PEOPLE--MOST CHILDREN.--The most healthy classes have +the most numerous families; but that, as luxury enervates society, it +diminishes the population, by enfeebling parents, nature preferring +none rather than those too weakly to live and be happy, and thereby +rendering that union unfruitful which is too feeble to produce +offspring sufficiently strong to enjoy life. Debility and disease +often cause barrenness. Nature seems to rebel against sickly +offspring. + +17. WHY CHILDREN DIE.--Inquire whether one or both the parents of +those numerous children that die around us, have not weak lungs, or a +debilitated stomach, or a diseased liver, or feeble muscles, or else +use them but little, or disordered nerves, or some other debility or +form of disease. The prevalence of summer complaints, colic, cholera +infantum, and other affections of these vital organs of children is +truly alarming, sweeping them into their graves by the million. +Shall other animals rear nearly all their young, and shall man, +constitutionally by far the strongest of them all, lose half or more +of his? is this the order of nature? No, but their death-worm is born +in and with them, and by parental agency. + +18. GRAVE-YARD STATISTICS.--Take grave-yard statistics in August, and +then say, whether most of the deaths of children are not caused by +indigestion, or feebleness of the bowels, liver, etc., or +complaints growing out of them? Rather, take family statistics from +broken-hearted parents! And yet, in general, those very parents +who thus suffer more than words can tell, were the first and main +transgressors, because they entailed those dyspeptic, heart, and other +kindred affections so common among American parents upon their own +children, and thereby almost as bad as killed them by inches; thus +depriving them of the joys of life, and themselves of their greatest +earthly treasure! + +19. ALL CHILDREN MAY DIE.--Children may indeed die whose parents are +healthy, but they almost must whose parents are essentially ailing in +one or more of their vital organs; because, since they inherit this +organ debilitated or diseased, any additional cause of sickness +attacks this part first, and when it gives out, all go by the board +together. + +20. PARENTS MUST LEARN AND OBEY.--How infinitely more virtuous and +happy would your children be if you should be healthy in body, and +happy in mind, so as to beget in them a constitutionally healthy and +vigorous physiology, along with a serene and happy frame of mind! +Words are utterly powerless in answer, and so is everything but a +lifetime of consequent happiness or misery! Learn and obey, then, +the laws of life and health, that you may both reap the rich reward +yourself, and also shower down upon your children after you, blessings +many and most exalted. Avoid excesses of all kinds, be temperate, +take good care of the body and avoid exposures and disease, and your +children will be models of health and beauty. + +21. THE RIGHT CONDITION.--The great practical inference is, that those +parents who desire intellectual and moral children, must love each +other; because, this love, besides perpetually calling forth and +cultivating their higher faculties, awakens them to the highest pitch +of exalted action in that climax, concentration, and consummation of +love which propagates their existing qualities, the mental endowment +of offspring being proportionate to the purity and intensity of +parental love. + +22. THE EFFECTS.--The children of affectionate parents receive +existence and constitution when love has rendered the mentality of +their parents both more elevated and more active than it is by nature, +of course the children of loving parents are both more intellectual +and moral by nature than their parents. Now, if these children and +their companions also love one another, this same law which renders +the second generation better than the first, will of course render +the third still better than the second, and thus of all succeeding +generations. + +23. ANIMAL IMPULSE.--You may preach and pray till doomsday--may +send out missionaries, may circulate tracts and Bibles, and multiply +revivals and all the means of grace, with little avail; because, as +long as mankind go on, as now, to propagate by animal impulse, so long +must their offspring be animal, sensual, devilish! But only induce +parents cordially to love each other, and you thereby render their +children constitutionally talented and virtuous. Oh! parents, by as +much as you prefer the luxuries of concord to the torments of discord, +and children that are sweet dispositioned and highly intellectual to +those that are rough wrathful, and depraved, be entreated to "_love +one another_." + +[Illustration: JUST HOME FROM SCHOOL.] + + + * * * * * + +TOO MANY CHILDREN. + + +1. LESSENING PAUPERISM.--Many of the agencies for lessening pauperism +are afraid of tracing back its growth to the frequency of births under +wretched conditions. One begins to question whether after all sweet +charity or dignified philanthropy has not acted with an unwise +reticence. Among the problems which defy practical handling this is +the most complicated. The pauperism which arises from marriage is the +result of the worst elements of character legalized. In America, +where the boundaries of wedlock are practically boundless, it is +not desirable, even were it possible, that the state should regulate +marriage much further than it now does; therefore must the sociologist +turn for aid to society in his struggle with pauperism. + +2. RIGHT PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL CONDITIONS OF BIRTH.--Society should +insist upon the right spiritual and physical conditions for birth. +It should be considered more than "a pity" when another child is born +into a home too poor to receive it. The underlying selfishness of such +an event should be recognized, for it brings motherhood under wrong +conditions of health and money. Instead of each birth being the result +of mature consideration and hallowed loves children are too often born +as animals are born. To be sure the child has a father whom he can +call by name. Better that there had never been a child. + +3. WRONG RESULTS.--No one hesitates to declare that if is want of +self-respect and morality which brings wrong results outside of +marriage, but it is also the want of them which begets evil inside the +marriage relation. Though there is nothing more difficult than to +find the equilibrium between self-respect and self-sacrifice, yet on +success in finding it depends individual and national preservation. +The fact of being wife and mother or husband and father should imply +dignity and joyousness, no matter how humble the home. + +4. DIFFERENCE OF OPINION AMONGST PHYSICIANS.--In regard to teaching, +the difficulties are great. As soon as one advances beyond the +simplest subjects of hygiene, one is met with the difference of +opinions among physicians. When each one has a different way of making +a mustard plaster, no wonder that each has his own notions about +everything else. One doctor recommends frequent births, another +advises against them. + +5. DIFFERENT NATURES.--If physiological facts are taught to a large +class, there are sure to be some in it whose impressionable natures +are excited by too much plain speaking, while there are others who +need the most open teaching in order to gain any benefit. Talks to a +few persons generally are wiser than popular lectures. Especially are +talks needed by mothers and unmothered girls who come from everywhere +to the city. + +6. BOYS AND YOUNG MEN.--It is not women alone who require the shelter +of organizations and instruction, but boys and young men. There is +no double standard of morality, though the methods of advocating it +depend upon the sex which is to be instructed. Men are more concerned +with the practical basis of morality than with its sentiment, and +with the pecuniary aspects of domestic life than with its physical +and mental suffering. We all may need medicine for moral ills, yet the +very intangibleness of purity makes us slow to formulate rules for its +growth. Under the guidance of the wise in spirit and knowledge, much +can be done to create a higher standard of marriage and to proportion +the number of births according to the health and income of parents. + +7. FOR THE SAKE OF THE STATE.--If the home exists primarily for the +sake of the individual, it exists secondarily for the sake of the +state. Therefore, any home into which are continually born the +inefficient children of inefficient parents, not only is a discomfort +in itself, but it also furnishes members for the armies of the +unemployed, which are tinkering and hindering legislation and +demanding by the brute force of numbers that the state shall support +them. + +8. OPINIONS FROM HIGH AUTHORITIES.--In the statements and arguments +made in the above we have not relied upon our own opinions and +convictions, but have consulted the best authorities, and we hereby +quote some of the highest authorities upon this subject. + +9. REV. LEONARD DAWSON.--"How rapidly conjugal prudence might lift a +nation out of pauperism was seen in France.--Let them therefore +hold the maxim that the production of offspring with forethought and +providence is rational nature. It was immoral to bring children into +the world whom they could not reasonably hope to feed, clothe and +educate." + +10. MRS. FAWCETT.--"Nothing will permanently offset pauperism while +the present reckless increase of population continues." + +11. DR. GEORGE NAPHEYS.--"Having too many children unquestionably has +its disastrous effects on both mother and children as known to every +intelligent physician. Two-thirds of all cases of womb disease, says +Dr. Tilt, are traceable to child-bearing in feeble women. There are +also women to whom pregnancy is a nine months' torture, and others to +whom it is nearly certain to prove fatal. Such a condition cannot +be discovered before marriage--The detestable crime of abortion is +appallingly rife in our day. It is abroad in our land to an extent +which would have shocked the dissolute women of pagan RomeS--This +wholesale, fashionable murder, how are we to stop it? Hundreds of vile +men and women in our large cities subsist by this slaughter of the +innocent." + +12. REV. H.R. HAWEIS.--"Until it is thought a disgrace in every rank +of society, from top to bottom of social scale, to bring into the +world more children than you are able to provide for, the poor man's +home, at least, must often be a purgatory--his children dinnerless, +his wife a beggar--himself too often drunk--here, then, are the real +remedies: first, control the family growth according to the family +means of support." + +13. MONTAGUE COOKSON.--"The limitation of the number of the family--is +as much the duty of married persons as the observance of chastity is +the duty of those that are unmarried." + +14. JOHN STUART MILL.--"Every one has aright to live. We will suppose +this granted. But no one has a right to bring children into life to +be supported by other people. Whoever means to stand upon the first +of these rights must renounce all pretension to the last. Little +improvement can be expected in morality until the production of a +large family is regarded in the same light as drunkenness or any other +physical excess." + +15. DR. T.D. NICHOLLS.--"In the present social state, men and women +should refrain from having children unless they see a reasonable +prospect of giving them suitable nurture and education." + +16. REV. M.J. SAVAGE.--"Some means ought to be provided for checking +the birth of sickly children." + +17. DR. STOCKHAM.--"Thoughtful minds must acknowledge the great wrong +done when children are begotten under adverse conditions. Women must +learn the laws of life so as to protect themselves, and not be the +means of bringing sin-cursed, diseased children into the world. The +remedy is in the prevention of pregnancy, not in producing abortion." + + + * * * * * + +SMALL FAMILIES AND THE IMPROVEMENT OF THE RACE. + + +1. MARRIED PEOPLE MUST DECIDE FOR THEMSELVES.--It is the fashion of +those who marry nowadays to have few children, often none. Of course +this is a matter which married people must decide for themselves. As +is stated in an earlier chapter, sometimes this policy is the wisest +that can be pursued. + +2. Diseased people who are likely to beget only a sickly offspring, +may follow this course, and so may thieves, rascals, vagabonds, insane +and drunken persons, and all those who are likely to bring into the +world beings that ought not to be here. But why so many well-to-do +folks should pursue a policy adapted only to paupers and criminals, +is not easy to explain. Why marry at all if not to found a family that +shall live to bless and make glad the earth after father and mother +are gone? It is not wise to rear too many children, nor is it wise to +have too few. Properly brought up, they will make home a delight, and +parents happy. + +[Illustration: A WELL NOURISHED CHILD.] + +3. POPULATION LIMITED.--Galton, in his great work on hereditary +genius, observes that "the time may hereafter arrive in far distant +years, when the population of this earth shall be kept as strictly +within bounds of number and suitability of race, as the sheep of a +well-ordered moor, or the plants in an orchard-house; in the meantime +let us do what we can to encourage the multiplication of the +races best fitted to invent and conform to a high and generous +civilization." + +4. SHALL SICKLY PEOPLE RAISE CHILDREN?--The question whether sickly +people should marry and propagate their kind, is briefly alluded to +in an early chapter of this work. Where father and mother are both +consumptive the chances are that the children will inherit physical +weakness, which will result in the same disease, unless great pains +are taken to give them a good physical education, and even then the +probabilities are that they will find life a burden hardly worth +living. + +5. NO REAL BLESSING.--Where one parent is consumptive and the other +vigorous, the chances are just half as great. If there is a scrofulous +or consumptive taint in the blood, beware! Sickly children are no +comfort to their parents, no real blessing. If such people marry, they +had better, in most cases, avoid parentage. + +6. WELFARE OF MANKIND.--The advancement of the welfare of mankind is a +most intricate problem: all ought to refrain from marriage who cannot +avoid abject poverty for their children; for poverty is not only a +great evil, but tends to its own increase by leading to recklessness +in marriage. On the other hand, as Mr. Galton has remarked, if the +prudent avoid marriage, while the reckless marry, the inferior members +will tend to supplant the better members of society. + +7. PREVENTIVES.--Remember that the thousands of preventives which +are advertised in papers, private circulars, etc., are not only +inefficient, unreliable and worthless, but positively dangerous, and +the annual mortality of females in this country from this cause alone +is truly horrifying. Study nature, and nature's laws alone will guide +you safely in the path of health and happiness. + +8. NATURE'S REMEDY.--Nature in her wise economy has prepared for +overproduction, for during the period of pregnancy and nursing, and +also most of the last half of each menstrual month, woman is naturally +sterile; but this condition may become irregular and uncertain on +account of stimulating drinks or immoral excesses. + + + * * * * * + +THE GENERATIVE ORGANS. + +[Illustration: THE MALE GENERATIVE ORGANS AND THEIR STRUCTURE AND +ADAPTATION.] + + +1. The reproductive organs in man are the penis and testicles and +their appendages. + +2. The penis deposits the seminal life germ of the male. It is +designed to fulfill the seed planting mission of human life. + +3. In the accompanying illustration all the parts are named. + +4. URETHRA.--The urethra performs the important mission of emptying +the bladder, and is rendered very much larger by the passion, and the +semen is propelled along through it by little layers of muscles on +each side meeting above and below. It is this canal that is inflamed +by the disease known as gonorrhoea. + +5. PROSTATE GLAND.--The prostate gland is located just before the +bladder. It swells in men who have previously overtaxed it, thus +preventing all sexual intercourse, and becomes very troublesome to +void urine. This is a very common trouble in old age. + +6. THE PENAL GLAND.--The penal gland, located at the end of the penis, +becomes unduly enlarged by excessive action and has the consistency of +India rubber. It is always enlarged by erection. It is this gland at +the end that draws the semen forward. It is one of the most essential +and wonderful constructed glands of the human body. + +7. FEMALE MAGNETISM.--When the male organ comes in contact with female +magnetism, the natural and proper excitement takes place. When excited +without this female magnetism it becomes one of the most serious +injuries to the human body. The male organ was made for a high and +holy purpose, and woe be to him who pollutes his manhood by practicing +the secret vice. He pays the penalty in after years either by the +entire loss of sexual power, or by the afflictions of various urinary +diseases. + +8. NATURE PAYS all her debts, and when there is an abuse of organ, +penalties must follow. If the hand is thrust into the fire it will be +burnt. + + + * * * * * + +THE FEMALE SEXUAL ORGANS. + + +1. The generative or reproductive organs of the human female are +usually divided into the internal and external. Those regarded as +internal are concealed from view and protected within the body. Those +that can be readily perceived are termed external. The entrance of the +vagina may be stated as the line of demarcation of the two divisions. + +[Illustration: ANATOMY OR STRUCTURE OF THE FEMALE ORGANS OF +GENERATION.] + +2. HYMEN OR VAGINAL VALVE.--This is a thin membrane of half moon shape +stretched across the opening of the vagina. It usually contains before +marriage one or more small openings for the passage of the menses. +This membrane has been known to cause much distress in many females at +the first menstrual flow. The trouble resulting from the openings +in the hymen not being large enough to let the flow through and +consequently blocking up the vaginal canal, and filling the entire +internal sexual organs with blood; causing paroxysms and hysterics and +other alarming symptoms. In such cases the hymen must be ruptured that +a proper discharge may take place at once. + +[Illustration: Impregnated Egg. In the first formation of Embryo.] + +3. UNYIELDING HYMEN.--The hymen is usually ruptured by the first +sexual intercourse, but sometimes it is so unyielding as to require +the aid of a knife before coition can take place. + +4. THE PRESENCE OF THE HYMEN was formerly considered a test of +virginity, but this theory is no longer held by competent authorities, +as disease or accidents or other circumstances may cause its rupture. + +5. THE OVARIES.--The ovaries are little glands for the purpose of +forming the female ova or egg. They are not fully developed until the +period of puberty, and usually are about the size of a large chestnut. +The are located in the broad ligaments between the uterus and the +Fallopian tubes. During pregnancy the ovaries change position; they +are brought farther into the abdominal cavity as the uterus expands. + +6. OFFICE OF THE OVARY.--The ovary is to the female what the testicle +is to the male. It is the germ vitalizing organ and the most essential +part of the generative apparatus. The ovary is not only an organ for +the formation of the ova, but is also designed for their separation +when they reach maturity. + +7. FALLOPION TUBES.--These are the ducts that lead from the ovaries to +the uterus. They are entirely detached from the glands or ovaries, and +are developed on both sides of the body. + +8. OFFICE OF THE FALLOPIAN TUBES.--The Fallopian tubes have a double +office: receiving the ova from the ovaries and conducting it into +the uterus, as well as receiving the spermatic fluid of the male and +conveying it from the uterus in the direction of the ovaries, the +tubes being the seat of impregnation. + +[Illustration: OVUM.] + +9. STERILITY IN FEMALES.--Sterility in the female is sometimes caused +by a morbid adhesion of the tube to a portion of the ovary. By what +power the mouth of the tube is directed toward a particular portion +of an ovary, from which the ovum is about to be discharged, remains +entirely unknown, as does also the precise nature of the cause which +effects this movement. + +[Illustration: Ripe Ovum from the Ovary.] + + + * * * * * + +THE MYSTERIES OF THE FORMATION OF LIFE. + + +1. SCIENTIFIC THEORIES.--Darwin, Huxley, Haeckel, Tyndall, Meyer, +and other renowned scientists, have tried to find the _missing link_ +between man and animal; they have also exhausted their genius in +trying to fathom the mysteries of the beginning of life, or find where +the animal and mineral kingdoms unite to form life; but they have +added to the vast accumulation of theories only, and the world is but +little wiser on this mysterious subject. + +2. PHYSIOLOGY.--Physiology has demonstrated what physiological changes +take place in the germination and formation of life, and how nature +expresses the intentions of reproduction by giving animals distinctive +organs with certain secretions for this purpose, etc. All the +different stages of development can be easily determined, but how and +why life takes place under such special condition and under no other, +is an unsolved mystery. + +3. OVARIES.--The ovaries are the essential parts of the generative +system of the human female in which ova are matured. There are two +ovaries, one on each side of the uterus, and connected with it by the +Fallopian tubes. They are egg-shaped, about an inch in diameter, and +furnish the germs or ovules. These germs or ovules are very small, +measuring about 1/120 of an inch in diameter. + +4. DEVELOPMENT.--The ovaries develop with the growth of the female, so +that finally at the period of puberty they ripen and liberate an +ovum or germ vesicle, which is carried into the uterine cavity of the +Fallopian tubes. By the aid of the microscope we find that these ova +are composed of granular substance, in which is found a miniature yolk +surrounded by a transparent membrane called the zona pellucida. This +yolk contains a germinal vesicle in which can be discovered a nucleus, +called the germinal spot. The process of the growth of the ovaries is +very gradual, and their function of ripening and discharging one ovum +monthly into the Fallopian tubes and uterus, is not completed until +between the twelfth and fifteenth years. + +5. WHAT SCIENCE KNOWS.--After the sexual embrace we know that the +sperm is lifted within the genital passages or portion of the vagina +and mouth of the uterus. The time between the deposit of the semen +and fecundation varies according to circumstances. If the sperm-cell +travels to the ovarium it generally takes from three to five days to +make the journey. As Dr. Pierce says: The transportation is aided +by the ciliary processes (little hairs) of the mucous surface of the +vaginal and uterine walls, as well as by its own vibratile movements. +The action of the cilia, under the stimulus of the sperm, seems to be +from without, inward. Even if a minute particle of sperm, less than a +drop, be left upon the margin of the external genitals of the female, +it is sufficient in amount to impregnate, and can be carried, by help +of these cilia, to the ovaries. + +6. CONCEPTION.--After intercourse at the proper time the liability to +conception is very great. If the organs are in a healthy condition, +conception must necessarily follow, and no amount of prudence and the +most rigid precautions often fail to prevent pregnancy. + +7. ONLY ONE ABSOLUTELY SAFE METHOD.--There is only one absolutely safe +method to prevent conception, entirely free from danger and injury to +health, and one that is in the reach of all; that is to refrain from +union altogether. + +[Illustration: A EUGENIC BABY.] + + + * * * * * + +CONCEPTION--ITS LIMITATIONS. + + +1. A COMMON QUESTION.--The question is often asked, "Can Conception +be prevented at all times?" Let us say right here that even if such an +interference with nature's laws were possible it is inadmissible, and +never to be justified except in cases of deformity or disease. + +2. FALSE CLAIMS OF IMPOSTERS.--During the past few years a great deal +has been written on the subject, claiming that new remedies had been +discovered for the prevention of conception, etc., but these are all +money making devices to deceive the public, and enrich the pockets of +miserable and unprincipled imposters. + +3. THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER.--Dr. Pancoast, an eminent authority, +says: "The truth is, there is no medicine taken internally capable of +preventing conception, and the person who asserts to the contrary, not +only speaks falsely, but is both a knave and a fool." + +4. FOOLISH DREAD OF CHILDREN.--What is more deplorable and pitiable +than an old couple childless? Young people dislike the care and +confinement of children and prefer society and social entertainments +and thereby do great injustice and injury to their health. Having +children under proper circumstances never ruins the health and +happiness of any woman. In fact, womanhood is incomplete without them. +She may have a dozen or more, and still have better health than before +marriage. It is having them too close together, and when she is not in +a fit state, that her health gives way. + +5. SELF-DENIAL AND FORBEARANCE.--If the husband respects his wife he +will come to her relief by exercising self-denial and forbearance, but +sometimes before the mother has recovered from the effects of bearing, +nursing and rearing one child, ere she has regained proper tone and +vigor of body and mind, she is unexpectedly overtaken, surprised by +the manifestation of symptoms which again indicate pregnancy. Children +thus begotten cannot become hardy and long-lived. But the love that +parents may feel for their posterity, by the wishes for their success, +by the hopes for their usefulness, by every consideration for their +future well-being, let them exercise caution and forbearance until +the wife becomes sufficiently healthy and enduring to bequeath her own +rugged, vital stamina to the child she bears in love. + +6. A WRONG TO THE MOTHER AND CHILD.--Sometimes the mother is diseased; +the outlet from the womb, as a result of laceration by a previous +child-birth, is frequently enlarged, thus allowing conception to take +place very readily, and hence she has children in rapid succession. +Besides the wrong to the mother in having children in such rapid +succession, it is a great injustice to the babe in the womb and the +one at the breast that they should follow each other so quickly that +one is conceived while the other is nursing. One takes the vitality of +the other; neither has sufficient nourishment, and both are started in +life stunted and incomplete. + +7. FEEBLE AND DISEASED PARENTS.--If the parties of a marriage are both +feeble and so adapted to each other that their children are deformed, +insane or idiots, then to beget offspring would be a flagrant wrong; +if the mother's health is in such a condition as to forbid the right +of laying the burden of motherhood upon her, then medical aid may +safely come to her relief. + +8. "THE DESIRABILITY AND PRACTICABILITY of limiting offspring," says +Dr. Stockham, are the subject of frequent inquiry. Fewer and better +children are desired by right-minded parents. Many men and women, wise +in other things of the world, permit generation as a chance result +of copulation, without thought of physical or mental conditions to +be transmitted to the child. Coition, the one important act of all +others, carrying with it the most vital results, is usually committed +for selfish gratification. Many a drunkard owes his lifelong appetite +for alcohol to the fact that the inception of his life could be +traced to a night of dissipation on the part of his father. Physical +degeneracy and mental derangements are too often caused by the parents +producing offspring while laboring under great mental strain or bodily +fatigue. Drunkenness and licentiousness are frequently the heritage of +posterity. Future generations demand that such results be averted by +better prenatal influences. The world is groaning under the curse of +chance parenthood. It is due to posterity that procreation be brought +under the control of reason and conscience. + +9. "IT HAS BEEN FEARED THAT A KNOWLEDGE of means to control offspring +would, if generally diffused, be abused by women; that they would +to so great an extent escape motherhood as to bring about social +disaster. This fear is not well founded. The maternal instinct is +inherent and sovereign in woman. Even the prenatal influences of a +murderous intent on the part of parents scarcely ever eradicate it. +With this natural desire for children, we believe few woman would +abuse the knowledge of privilege of controlling offspring. Although +women shrink from forced maternity, and from the bearing of children +under the great burden of suffering, as well as other adverse +conditions, it is rare to find a woman who is not greatly disappointed +if she does not, some time in her life, wear the crown of motherhood. + +"An eminent lady teacher, in talking to her pupils once said, 'The +greatest calamity that can befall a woman is never to have a child. +The next greatest calamity is to have one only.' From my professional +experience I am happy to testify that more women seek to overcome +causes of sterility than to obtain knowledge of limiting the size of +the family or means to destroy the embryo. Also, if consultation for +the latter is sought, it is usually at the instigation of the husband. +Believing in the rights of unborn children, and in the maternal +instinct, I am consequently convinced that no knowledge should be +withheld that will secure proper conditions for the best parenthood." + +10. THE CASE OF THE JUKE FAMILY.--We submit the following case of the +Juke family, mostly of New York state, as related by Dr. R.L. Dugdale, +when a member of the prison Association, and let the reader judge for +himself: + +"It was traced out by painstaking research that from one woman called +Margaret, who, like Topsy, merely 'growed' without pedigree as a +pauper in a village of the upper Hudson, about eighty-five years ago, +there descended 673 children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, +of whom 200 were criminals of the dangerous class, 280 adult +paupers, and 50 prostitutes, while 300 children of her lineage died +prematurely. The last fact proves to what extent in this family nature +was kind to the rest of humanity in saving it from a still larger +aggregation or undesirable and costly members, for it is estimated +that the expense to the State of the descendants of Maggie was over +a million dollars, and the State itself did something also towards +preventing a greater expense by the restrain exercised upon the +criminals, paupers, and idiots of the family during a considerable +portion of their lives." + +11. MODERATION.--Continence, self-control, a willingness to deny +himself--that is what is required from the husband. But a thousand +voices reach us from suffering women in all parts of the land that +this will not suffice; that men refuse thus to restrain themselves; +that it leads to a loss of domestic happiness and to illegal amour, or +it is injurious physically and morally; that, in short, such advice is +useless because impracticable. + +12. NATURE'S METHOD.--To such we reply that nature herself has +provided to some extent, against overproduction. It is well known that +women, when nursing, rarely become pregnant, and for this reason, if +for no other, women should nurse their own children, and continue the +period until the child is at least nine months or a year old. However, +the nursing, if continued too long, weakens both the mother and the +child. + +13. ANOTHER PROVISION OF NATURE.--For a certain period between her +monthly illness, every woman is sterile. Conception may be avoided by +refraining from coition except for this particular number of days, +and there will be no evasion of natural intercourse, no resort to +disgusting practices, and nothing degrading. + + + * * * * * + +PRENATAL INFLUENCES. + + +1. DEFINITION.--By prenatal influences we mean those temporary +operations of the mind or physical conditions of the parents previous +to birth, which stamp their impress upon the new life. + +2. THREE PERIODS.--We may consider this subject as one which naturally +divides itself into three periods: the preparation which precedes +conception, the mental, moral and physical conditions at the time of +conjunction, and the environment and condition of the mother during +the period of gestation. + +3. PROMINENT AUTHORITIES.--A.E. Newton says: "Numerous facts indicate +that offspring may be affected and their tendencies shaped by a great +variety of influences, among which moods and influences more or less +transient may be included." + +Dr. Stall says: "Prenatal influences are both subtle and potent, and +no amount of wealth or learning or influence can secure exemption from +them." + +Dr. John Cowan says upon this subject: "The fundamental principles of +genius in reproduction are that, through the rightly directed wills +of the father and mother, preceding and during antenatal life, the +child's form or body, character of mind and purity of soul are formed +and established. That in its plastic state, during antenatal life, +like clay in the hands of the potter, it can be molded into absolutely +any form of body and soul the parents may knowingly desire." + +4. LIKE PARENTS, LIKE CHILDREN.--It is folly to expect strong and +vigorous children from weak and sickly parents, or virtuous offspring +from impure ancestry. + +Dr. James Foster Scott tells us that purity is, in fact, the crown of +all real manliness; and the vigorous and robust, who by repression of +evil have preserved their sexual potency, make the best husbands and +fathers, and they are the direct benefactors for the race by begetting +progeny who are not predisposed to sexual vitiation and bodily and +mental degeneracy. + +5. BLOOD WILL TELL.--Thus we see that prenatal influences greatly +modify, if they do not wholly control, inherited tendencies. Is it +common sense to suppose that a child, begotten when the parents are +exhausted from mental or physical overwork, can be as perfect as when +the parents are overflowing with the buoyancy of life and health? The +practical farmer would not allow a domestic animal to come into his +flock or herd under imperfect physical conditions. He understands that +while "blood will tell," the temporary conditions of the animals will +also tell in the perfections or imperfections of the offspring. + +6. HEALTH A LEGACY.--It is no small legacy to be endowed with perfect +health. In begetting children comparatively few people seem to think +that any care of concern is necessary to insure against ill-health or +poverty of mind. How strange our carelessness and unconcern when these +are the groundwork of all comfort and success! How few faces and forms +we see which give sign of perfect health. It is just as reasonable to +suppose that men and women can squander their fortune and still have +it left to bequeath to their children, as that parents can violate +organic laws and still retain their own strength and activity. + +7. RESPONSIBILITY OF PARENTS.--Selden H. Tascott says: "Ungoverned +passions in the parents may unloose the furies of unrestrained madness +in the minds of their children. Even untempered religious enthusiasm +may beget a fanaticism that can not be restrained within the limits of +reason." + +In view of the preceding statements, what a responsibility rests upon +the parents! No step in the process of parentage is unimportant. From +the lovers first thought of marriage to the birth of the child, every +step of the way should be paved with the snow-white blossoms of pure +thought. Kindly words and deeds should bind the prospective parents +more closely together. Not mine and thine, but ours, should be the +bond of sympathy. Each should be chaste in thought and word and deed +as was Sir Galahad, who went in search of the Holy Grail, saying: + + "My strength is as the strength of ten, + Because my heart is pure." + +[Illustration: DR. HALL'S SYRINGE. No. 1 Gives a Whirling Spray and No. +2 Also Whirling Spray. + +Price of No. 1 is $1.50 and of No. 2, $3.00. To readers of this book +the publishers will send No. 1 for $1.20 and No. 2 for $2.25 postpaid. +Dr. Hall's is larger and made of highest grade red rubber and its +action is very effective.] + + + * * * * * + +VAGINAL CLEANLINESS. + +1. The above syringes are highly recommended by physicians as vaginal +cleansers. They will be found a great relief in health or sickness, +and in many cases cure barrenness or other diseases of the womb. + +2. CLEANLINESS.--Cleanliness is next to godliness. Without cleanliness +the human body is more or less defiled and repulsive. A hint to +the wise is sufficient. The vagina should be cleansed with the same +faithfulness as any other portion of the body. + +3. TEMPERATURE OF THE WATER.--Those not accustomed to use vaginal +injections would do well to use water milk-warm at the commencement; +after this the temperature may be varied according to circumstances. +In case of local inflammation use hot water. The indiscriminate use of +cold water injections will be found rather injurious than beneficial, +and a woman in feeble health will always find warm water invigorating +and preferable. + +4. LEUCORRHOEA.--In case of persistent leucorrhoea use the temperature +of water from seventy-two to eighty-five degrees Fahrenheit. + +5. THE CLEANSER will greatly stimulate the health and spirits of any +woman who uses it. Pure water injections have a stimulating effect, +and it seems to invigorate the entire body. + +6. SALT AND WATER INJECTIONS.--This will cure mild cases of +leucorrhoea. Add a teaspoonful of salt to a pint and a half of water +at the proper temperature. Injections may be repeated daily if deemed +necessary. + +7. SOAP AND WATER.--Soap and water is a very simple domestic remedy, +and will many times afford relief in many diseases of the womb. It +seems it thoroughly cleanses the parts. A little borax or vinegar may +be used the same as salt water injections. (See No. 6.) + +8. HOLES IN THE TUBES.--Most of the holes in the tubes of syringes are +too small. See that they are sufficiently large to produce thorough +cleansing. + +9. INJECTIONS DURING THE MONTHLY FLOW.--Of course it is not proper to +arrest the flow, and the injections will stimulate a healthy action +of the organs. The injections may be used daily throughout the monthly +flow with much comfort and benefit. If the flow is scanty and painful +the injections may be as warm as they can be comfortably borne. If the +flowing is immoderate, then cool water may be used. A woman will soon +learn her own condition and can act accordingly. + +10. BLOOM AND GRACE OF YOUTH.--The regular bathing of the body will +greatly improve woman's beauty. Remember that a perfect complexion +depends upon the healthy action of all the organs. Vaginal injections +are just as important as the bath. A beautiful woman must not only +be cleanly, but robust and healthy. There can be no perfect beauty +without good health. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: Trying On a New Dress.] + + + * * * * * + +IMPOTENCE AND STERILITY. + + +1. Actual impotence during the period of manhood is a very rare +complaint, and nature very unwillingly, and only after the absolute +neglect of sanitary laws, gives up the power of reproduction. + +2. Not only sensual women, but all without exception, feel deeply +hurt, and are repelled by the husband whom they may previously have +loved dearly, when, after entering the married state, they find that +he is impotent. The more inexperienced and innocent they were at +the time of marriage, the longer it often is before they find that +something is lacking in the husband; but, once knowing this, the wife +infallibly has a feeling of contempt and aversion for him though there +are many happy families where this defect exists. It is often very +uncertain who is the weak one, and no cause for separation should be +sought. + +3. Unhappy marriages, barrenness, divorces, and perchance an +occasional suicide, may be prevented by the experienced physician, who +can generally give correct information, comfort, and consolation, when +consulted on these delicate matters. + +4. When a single man fears that he is unable to fulfill the duties +of marriage, he should not marry until his fear is dispelled. The +suspicion of such a fear strongly tends to bring about the very +weakness which he dreads. Go to a good physician (not to one of those +quacks whose advertisements you see in the papers; they are invariably +unreliable), and state the case fully and freely. + +5. Diseases, malformation, etc., may cause impotence. In case of +malformation there is usually no remedy, but in case of disease it is +usually within the reach of a skillful physician. + +6. Self-abuse and spermatorrhoea produce usually only temporary +impotence and can generally be relieved by carrying out the +instructions given elsewhere in this book. + +7. Excessive indulgences often enfeeble the powers and often result in +impotence. Dissipated single men, professional libertines, and married +men who are immoderate, often pay the penalty of their violations +of the laws of nature, by losing their vital power. In such cases of +excess there may be some temporary relief, but as age advances the +effects of such indiscretion will become more and more manifest. + +8. The condition of sterility in man may arise either from a condition +of the secretion which deprives it of its fecundating powers or it may +spring from a malformation which prevents it reaching the point where +fecundation takes place. The former condition is most common in old +age, and is a sequence of venereal disease, or from a change in the +structure or functions of the glands. The latter has its origin in a +stricture, or in an injury, or in that condition technically known as +hypospadias, or in debility. + +9. It can be safely said that neither self-indulgence nor +spermatorrhoea often leads to permanent sterility. + +10. It is sometimes, however, possible, even where there is sterility +in the male, providing the secretion is not entirely devoid of life +properties on part of the husband, to have children, but these are +exceptions. + +11. No man need hesitate about matrimony on account of sterility, +unless that condition arises from a permanent and absolute +degeneration of his functions. + +12. Impotence from mental and moral causes often takes place. Persons +of highly nervous organization may suffer incapacity in their sexual +organs. The remedy for these difficulties is rest and change of +occupation. + +13. REMEDIES IN CASE OF IMPOTENCE ON ACCOUNT OF FORMER PRIVATE +DISEASES, OR MASTURBATION, OR OTHER CAUSES.--First build up the body +by taking some good stimulating tonics. The general health is the most +essential feature to be considered, in order to secure restoration +of the sexual powers. Constipation must be carefully avoided. If the +kidneys do not work in good order, some remedy for their restoration +must be taken. Take plenty of out-door excercise avoid horseback +riding or heavy exhaustive work. + +14. FOOD AND DRINKS WHICH WEAKEN DESIRE.--All kinds of food which +cause dyspepsia or bring on constipation, diarrhea, or irritate the +bowels, alcoholic beverages, or any indigestible compound, has the +tendency to weaken the sexual power. Drunkards and tipplers suffer +early loss of vitality. Beer drinking has a tendency to irritate the +stomach and to that extent affects the private organs. + +15. COFFEE.--Coffee drank excessively causes a debilitating effect +upon the sexual organs. The moderate use of coffee can be recommended, +yet an excessive habit of drinking very strong coffee will sometimes +wholly destroy vitality. + +16. TOBACCO.--It is a hygienic and physiological fact that tobacco +produces sexual debility and those who suffer any weakness on that +source should carefully avoid the weed in all its forms. + +17. DRUGS WHICH STIMULATE DESIRE.--There are certain medicines which +act locally on the membranes and organs of the male, and the papers +are full of advertisements of "Lost Manhood Restored", etc., but in +every case they are worthless or dangerous drugs and certain to lead +to some painful malady or death. All these patent medicines should be +carefully avoided. People who are troubled with any of these ailments +should not attempt to doctor themselves by taking drugs, but a +competent physician should be consulted. Eating rye, corn, or graham +bread, oatmeal, cracked wheat, plenty of fruit, etc. is a splendid +medicine. If that is not sufficient, then a physician should be +consulted. + +18. DRUGS WHICH MODERATE DESIRE.--Among one of the most common +domestic remedies is camphor. This has stood the test for ages. Small +doses or half a grain in most instances diminishes the sensibility +of the organs of sex. In some cases it produces irritation of the +bladder. In that case it should be at once discontinued. On the whole +a physician had better be consulted. The safest drug among domestic +remedies is a strong tea made out of hops. Saltpeter, or nitrate of +potash, taken in moderate quantities are very good remedies. + +[Illustration] + +19. STRICTLY SPEAKING there is a distinction made between; _impotence_ +and _sterility._ _Impotence_ is a loss of power to engage in the +sexual act and is common to men. It may be imperfection in the male +organ or a lack of sufficient sexual vigor to produce and maintain +erection. _Sterility_ is a total loss of capacity in the reproduction +of the species, and is common to women. + +There are, however, very few causes of barrenness that cannot be +removed when the patient is perfectly developed. Sterility, in a +female, most frequently depends upon a weakness or irritability either +in the ovaries or the womb, and anything having a strengthening effect +upon either organ will remove the disability. (See page 249.) + +20. "OVER-INDULGENCE in intercourse," says Dr. Hoff, "is sometimes +the cause of barrenness; this is usually puzzling to the interested +parties, inasmuch as the practices which, in their opinion, should be +the source of a numerous progeny, have the very opposite effect. By +greatly moderating their ardor, this defect may be remedied." + +21. "NAPOLEON AND JOSEPHINE.--A certain adaptation between the male +and female has been regarded as necessary to conception, consisting of +some mysterious influence which one sex exerts over the other, neither +one, however, being essentially impotent or sterile. The man may +impregnate one woman and not another, and the woman will conceive by +one man and not by another. In the marriage of Napoleon Bonaparte and +Josephine no children were born, but after he had separated from the +Empress and wedded Maria Louisa of Austria, an heir soon came. Yet +Josephine had children by Beauharnais, her previous husband. But as +all is not known as to the physical condition of Josephine during her +second marriage, it cannot be assumed that mere lack of adaptability +was the cause of unfruitfulness between them. There may have been +some cause that history has not recorded, or unknown to the state +of medical science of those days. There are doubtless many cases of +apparently causeless unfruitfulness in marriage that even physicians, +with a knowledge of all apparent conditions in the parties cannot +explain; but when, as elsewhere related in this volume, impregnation +by artificial means is successfully practised, it is useless +to attribute barrenness to purely psychological and adaptative +influences." + + + * * * * * + +PRODUCING BOYS OR GIRLS AT WILL. + + +1. CAN THE SEXES BE PRODUCED AT WILL?--This question has been asked in +all ages of the world. Many theories have been advanced, but science +has at last replied with some authority. The following are the best +known authorities which this age of science has produced. + +2. THE AGRICULTURAL THEORY.--The agricultural theory as it may be +called, because adopted by farmers, is that impregnation occurring +within four days of the close of the female monthlies produces a girl, +because the ovum is yet immature; but that when it occurs after +the fourth day from its close, gives a boy, because this egg is now +mature; whereas after about the eighth day this egg dissolves and +passes off, so that impregnation is thereby rendered impossible, till +just before the mother's next monthly.--_Sexual Science._ + +3. QUEEN BEES LAY FEMALE EGGS FIRST, and male after wards. So with +hens; the first eggs laid after the tread give females, the last +males. Mares shown the stallion late in their periods drop horse colts +rather than fillies.--_Napheys._ + +4. IF YOU WISH FEMALES, give the male at the first sign of heat; if +males, at its end.--_Prof. Thury._ + +5. ON TWENTY-TWO SUCCESSIVE OCCASIONS I desired to have heifers, and +succeeded in every case. I have made in all twenty-nine experiments, +after this method, and succeeded in every one, in producing the sex I +desired.--_A Swiss Breeder._ + +6. THIS THURY PLAN has been tried on the farms of the Emperor of the +French with unvarying success. + +7. CONCEPTION IN THE FIRST HALF of the time between the menstrual +periods produces females, and males in the latter.--_London Lancet._ + +8. INTERCOURSE in from two to six days after cessation of the menses +produces girls, in from nine to twelve, boys.--_Medical Reporter._ + +THE MOST MALE POWER and passion creates boys; female girls. This law +probably causes those agricultural facts just cited thus: Conception +right after menstruation give girls, because the female is then the +most impassioned; later, boys, because her wanting sexual warmth +leaves him the most vigorous. Mere sexual excitement, a wild, fierce, +furious rush of passion, is not only not sexual vigor, but in its +inverse ratio; and a genuine insane fervor caused by weakness; just as +a like nervous excitability indicates weak nerves instead of strong. +Sexual power is deliberate, not wild; cool, not impetuous; while all +false excitement diminishes effectiveness.--_Fowler._ + +[Illustration: HEALTHY CHILDREN.] + + + * * * * * + +ABORTION OR MISCARRIAGE. + + +1. ABORTION OR MISCARRIAGE is the expulsion of the child from the womb +previous to six months; after that it is called premature birth. + +2. CAUSES.--It may be due to a criminal act of taking medicine for +the express purpose of producing miscarriage or it may be caused by +certain medicines, severe sickness or nervousness, syphilis, imperfect +semen, lack of room in the pelvis and abdomen, lifting, straining, +violent cold, sudden mental excitement, excessive sexual intercourse, +dancing, tight lacing, the use of strong purgative medicines, bodily +fatigue, late suppers, and fashionable amusements. + +3. SYMPTOMS.--A falling or weakness and uneasiness in the region of +the loins, thighs and womb, pain in the small of the back, vomiting +and sickness of the stomach, chilliness with a discharge of blood +accompanied with pain in the lower portions of the abdomen. These may +take place in a single hour, or it may continue for several days. If +before the fourth month, there is not so much danger, but the flow +of blood is generally greater. If miscarriage is the result of an +accident, it generally takes place without much warning, and the +service of a physician should at once be secured. + +4. HOME TREATMENT.--A simple application of cold water externally +applied will produce relief, or cold cloths of ice, if convenient, +applied to the lower portions of the abdomen. Perfect quiet, however, +is the most essential thing for the patient. She should lie on her +back and take internally a teaspoonful of paregoric every two hours; +drink freely of lemonade or other cooling drinks, and for nourishment +subsist chiefly on chicken broth, toast, water gruel, fresh fruits, +etc. The principal homeopathic remedies for this disease are ergot and +cimicifuga, given in drop-doses of the tinctures. + +5. INJURIOUS EFFECTS.--Miscarriage is a very serious difficulty, and +the health and the constitution may be permanently impaired. Any one +prone to miscarriage should adopt every measure possible to strengthen +and build up the system; avoid going up stairs or doing much heavy +lifting or hard work. + +6. PREVENTION.--Practice the laws of sexual abstinence, take frequent +sitz-baths, live on oatmeal, graham bread, and other nourishing diet. +Avoid highly seasoned food, rich gravies, late suppers and the like. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: AN INDIAN FAMILY. THE SAVAGE INDIAN TEACHES US LESSONS +OF CIVILIZATION.] + + + * * * * * + +THE MURDER OF THE INNOCENTS. + + +1. MANY CAUSES.--Many causes have operated to produce a corruption +of the public morals so deplorable; prominent among which may be +mentioned the facility with which divorces may be obtained in some of +the States, the constant promulgation of false ideas of marriage and +its duties by means of books, lectures, etc., and the distribution +through the mails of impure publications. But an influence not less +powerful than any of these is the growing devotion of fashion and +luxury of this age, and the idea which practically obtains to so great +an extent that pleasure, instead of the health or morals, is the great +object of life. + +2. A MONSTROUS CRIME.--The abiding interest we feel in the +preservation of the morals of our country, constrains us to raise our +voice against the daily increasing practice of infanticide, especially +before birth. The notoriety that monstrous crime has obtained of late, +and the hecatombs of infants that are annually sacrificed to Moloch, +to gratify an unlawful passion, are a sufficient justification for our +alluding to a painful and delicate subject, which should "not even be +named," only to correct and admonish the wrong-doers. + +3. LOCALITIES IN WHICH IT IS MOST PREVALENT.--We may observe that the +crying sin of infanticide is most prevalent In those localities where +the system of moral education has been longest neglected. This inhuman +crime might be compared to the murder of the innocents, except that +the criminals, in this case, exceed in enormity the cruelty of Herod. + +4. SHEDDING INNOCENT BLOOD.--If it is a sin to take away the life even +of an enemy; if the crime of shedding innocent blood cries to heaven +for vengeance; in what language can we characterize the double guilt +of those whose souls are stained with the innocent blood of their own +unborn, unregenerated offspring? + +5. THE GREATNESS OF THE CRIME.--The murder of an infant before its +birth, is, in the sight of God and the law, as great a crime as the +killing of a child after birth. + +6. LEGAL RESPONSIBILITY.--Every State of the Union has made this +offense one of the most serious crimes. The law has no mercy for the +offenders that violate the sacred law of human life. It is murder of +the most cowardly character and woe to him who brings this curse upon +his head, to haunt him all the days of his or her life, and to curse +him at the day of his death. + +7. THE PRODUCT OF LUST.--Lust pure and simple. The only difference +between a marriage of this character and prostitution is, that +society, rotten to its heart, pulpits afraid to cry aloud against +crime and vice, and the church conformed to the world, have made such +a profanation of marriage respectable. To put it in other words, when +two people determine to live together as husband and wife, and evade +the consequences and responsibilities of marriage, they are simply +engaged in prostitution without the infamy which attaches to that vice +and crime. + +8. OUTRAGEOUS VIOLATION OF ALL LAW.--The violation of all law, both +natural and revealed, is the cool and villainous contract by which +people entering into the marital relation engage in defiance of the +laws of God and the laws of the commonwealth, that they shall be +unencumbered with a family of children. "Disguise the matter as you +will," says Dr. Pomeroy, "yet the fact remains that the first and +specific object of marriage is the rearing of a family." "Be fruitful +and multiply and replenish the earth," is God's first word to Adam +after his creation. + +9. THE NATIONAL SIN.--The prevention of offspring is preeminently the +sin of America. It is fast becoming the national sin of America, +and if it is not checked, it will sooner or later be an irremediable +calamity. The sin has its roots in a low and perverted idea of +marriage, and is fostered by false standards of modesty. + +10. THE SIN OF HEROD.--Do these same white-walled sepulchres of +hell know that they are committing the damning sin of Herod in the +slaughter of the innocents, and are accessories before the fact to the +crime of murder? Do women in all circles of society, when practicing +these terrible crimes realize the real danger? Do they understand that +it is undermining their health, and their constitution, and that their +destiny, if persisted in, is a premature grave just as sure as the +sun rises in the heavens? Let all beware and let the first and only +purpose be, to live a life guiltless before God and man. + +11. THE CRIME OF ABORTION.--From the moment of conception a new life +commences; a new individual exists; another child is added to the +family. The mother who deliberately sets about to destroy this life, +either by want of care, or by taking drugs, or using instruments, +commits as great a crime, and is just as guilty as if she strangled +her new-born infant or as if she snatched from her own breast her six +months' darling and dashed out its brains against the wall. Its blood +is upon her head, and as sure as there is a God and a judgment, that +blood will be required of her. The crime she commits is murder, child +murder--the slaughter of a speechless, helpless being, whom it is her +duty, beyond all things else, to cherish and preserve. + +12. DANGEROUS DISEASES.--We appeal to all such with earnest and with +threatening words. If they have no feeling for the fruit of their +womb, if maternal sentiment is so callous in their breasts, let them +know that such produced abortions are the constant cause of violent +and, dangerous womb diseases, and frequently of early death; that they +bring on mental weakness, and often insanity; that they are the most +certain means to destroy domestic happiness which can be adopted. +Better, far better, to bear a child every year for twenty years than +to resort to such a wicked and injurious step; better to die, if need +be, of the pangs of child-birth, than to live with such a weight of +sin on the conscience. + + + * * * * * + +THE UNWELCOME CHILD.[Footnote: This is the title of a pamphlet written +by Henry C. Wright. We have taken some extracts from it.] + + +1. TOO OFTEN THE HUSBAND thinks only of his personal gratification; +he insists upon what he calls his rights(?); forces on his wife an +_unwelcome child_, and thereby often alienates her affections, if he +does not drive her to abortion. + +Dr Stockham reports the following case: "A woman once consulted me who +was the mother of five children, all born within ten years. These were +puny, scrofulous, nervous and irritable. She herself was a fit subject +for doctors and drugs. Every organ in her body seemed diseased, and +every function perverted. She was dragging out a miserable existence. +Like other physicians, I had prescribed in vain for her many +maladies. One day she chanced to inquire how she could safely prevent +conception. This led me to ask how great was the danger. She said: +'Unless my husband is absent from home, few nights have been exempt +since we were married, except it may be three or four immediately +after confinement.' + +"'And yet your husband loves you?' + +"'O, yes, he is kind and provides for his family. Perhaps I might +love him but for this. While now--(will God forgive me?)--_I detest, I +loathe him_, and if I knew how to support myself and children, I would +leave him.' + +"'Can you talk with him upon this subject?' + +"'I think I can.' + +"'Then there is hope, for many women cannot do that. Tell him I will +give you treatment to improve your health and if he will wait until +you can respond, _take time for the act, have it entirely mutual from +first to last_, the demand will not come so frequent.' + +"'Do you think so?' + +"'The experience of many proves the truth of this statement.' + +"Hopefully she went home, and in six months I had the satisfaction of +knowing my patient was restored to health, and a single coition in +a month gave the husband more satisfaction than the many had done +previously, that the creative power was under control, and that my +lady could proudly say 'I love,' where previously she said 'I hate.' + +"If husbands will listen, a few simple instructions will appeal to +their _common sense_, and none can imagine the gain to themselves, to +their wives and children, and their children's children. Then it may +not be said of the babes that the 'Death borders on their birth, and +their cradle stands in the grave.'" + +2. WIVES! BE FRANK AND TRUE to your husbands on the subject of +maternity, and the relation that leads to it. Interchange thoughts and +feelings with them as to what nature allows or demands in regard to +these. Can maternity be natural when it is undesigned by the father +or undesired by the mother? Can a maternity be natural, healthful, +ennobling to the mother, to the child, to the father, and to the +home, when no loving, tender, anxious forethought presides over thee +relation in which it originated?--when the mother's nature loathed +and repelled it, and the father's only thought was his own selfish +gratification; the feelings and conditions of the mother, and the +health, character and destiny of the child that may result being +ignored by him. Wives! let there be a perfect and loving understanding +between you and your husbands on these matters, and great will be your +reward. + +3. A WOMAN WRITES:--"There are few, vary few, wives and mothers who +could not reveal a sad, dark picture in their own experience in their +relations to their husbands and their children. Maternity, and +the relation in which it originates, are thrust upon them by their +husbands, often without regard to their spiritual or physical +conditions, and often in contempt of their earnest and urgent +entreaties. No joy comes to their heart at the conception and birth of +their children, except that which arises from the consciousness that +they have survived the sufferings wantonly and selfishly inflicted +upon them." + +4. HUSBAND, WHEN MATERNITY is imposed on your wife without her +consent, and contrary to her appeal, how will her mind necessarily +be affected towards her child? It was conceived in dread and in +bitterness of spirit. Every stage of its foetal development is watched +with feeling of settled repugnance. In every step of its ante-natal +progress the child meets only with grief and indignation in the +mother. She would crush out its life, if she could. She loathed +its conception; she loathed it in every stage of its ante-natal +development. Instead of fixing her mind on devising ways and means +for the healthful and happy organization and development of her child +before it is born, and for its post natal comfort and support, her +soul may be intent on its destruction, and her thoughts devise plans +to kill it. In this, how often is she aided by others! There are +those, and they are called men and women, whose profession is to +devise ways to kill children before they are born. Those who do this +would not hesitate (but for the consequences) to kill them after +they are born, for the state of mind that would justify and instigate +_ante-natal_ child-murder would justify and instigate _post-natal_ +child-murder. Yet, public sentiment consigns the murderer of +post-natal children to the dungeon or the gallows, while the murderers +of antenatal children are often allowed to pass in society as honest +and honorable men and women. + +5. THE FOLLOWING IS AN EXTRACT from a letter written by one who has +proudly and nobly filled the station of a wife and mother, and whose +children and grandchildren surround her and crown her life with +tenderest love and respect: + +"It has often been a matter of wonder to me that men should, so +heedlessly, and so injuriously to themselves, their wives and +children, and their homes, demand at once, as soon as they get legal +possession of their wives, the gratification of a passion, which, when +indulged merely for the sake of the gratification of the moment, must +end in the destruction of all that is beautiful, noble and divine +in man or woman. I have often felt that I would give the world for a +friendship with man that should show no impurity in its bearing, +and for a conjugal relation that would, at all times, heartily and +practically recognize the right of the wife to decide for herself when +she should enter into the relation that leads to maternity." + +6. TIMELY ADVICE.--Here let me say that on no subject should a man and +woman, as they are being attracted into conjugal relations, be more +open and truthful with each other than on this. No woman, who would +save herself and the man she loves from a desecrated and wretched +home, should enter into the physical relations of marriage with a man +until she understands what he expects of her as to the function of +maternity, and the relation that leads to it. If a woman is made aware +that the man who would win her as a wife regards her and the marriage +relation only as the means of a legalized gratification of his +passions, and she sees fit to live with him as a wife, with such a +prospect before her, she must take the consequences of a course so +degrading and so shameless. If she sees fit to make an offering of her +body and soul on the altar of her husband's sensuality, she must do +it; but she has a right to know to what base uses her womanhood is to +be put, and it is due to her, as well as to himself, that he should +tell beforehand precisely what he wants and expects of her. + +Too frequently, man shrinks from all allusion, during courtship, to +his expectations in regard to future passional relations. He fears to +speak of them, lest he should shock and repel the woman he would win +as a wife. Being conscious, it may be, of an intention to use power +he may acquire over her person for his own gratification, he shuns +all interchange of views with her, lest she should divine the hidden +sensualism of his soul, and his intention to victimize her person to +it the moment he shall get the license. A woman had better die at +once than enter into or continue in marriage with a man whose highest +conception of the relation is, that it is a means of licensed animal +indulgence. In such a relation, body and soul are sacrificed. + +7. ONE DISTINCTIVE CHARACTERISTIC of a true and noble husband is a +feeling of manly pride in the physical elements of his manhood. His +physical manhood, as well as his soul, is dear to the heart of his +wife, because through this he can give the fullest expression of his +manly power. How can you, my friend, secure for your person the loving +care and respect of your wife? There is but one way: so manifest +yourself to her, in the hours of your most endearing intimacies, +that all your manly power shall be associated only with all that +is generous, just and noble in you, and with purity, freedom and +happiness in her. Make her feel that all which constitutes you a man, +and qualifies you to be her husband and the father of her children, +belongs to her, and is sacredly consecrated to the perfection and +happiness of her nature. Do this, and the happiness of your home is +made complete Your _body_ will be lovingly and reverently cared for, +because the wife of your bosom feels that it is the sacred symbol +through which a noble, manly love is ever speaking to her, to cheer +and sustain her. + +8. WOMAN IS EVER PROUD, and justly so, of the manly passion of her +husband, when she knows it is controlled by a love for her, whose +manifestations have regard only to her elevation and happiness. The +power which, when bent only on selfish indulgence, becomes a source +of more shame, degradation, disease and wretchedness, to women and to +children than all other things put together, does but ennoble her, add +grace and glory to her being, and concentrate and vitalize the love +that encircles her as a wife when it is controlled by wisdom and +consecrated to her highest growth and happiness, and that of her +children. It lends enchantment to her person, and gives a fascination +to her smiles, her words and her caresses, which ever breathe of +purity and of heaven, and make her all lovely as a wife and mother +to her husband and the father of her child. _Manly passion is to the +conjugal love of the wife like the sun to the rose-bud, that opens its +petals, and causes them to give out their sweetest fragrance and to +display their most delicate tints; or like the frost, which chills and +kills it ere it blossoms in its richness and beauty._ + +9. A DIADEM OF BEAUTY.--Maternity, when it exists at the call of the +wife, and is gratefully received, but binds her heart more tenderly +and devotedly to her husband. As the father of her child, he stands +before her invested with new beauty and dignity. In receiving from him +the germ of a new life, she receives that which she feels is to add +new beauty and glory to her as a woman--a new grace and attraction to +her as a wife. She loves and honors him, because he has crowned +her with the glory of a mother. Maternity, to her, instead of being +repulsive, is a diadem of beauty, a crown of rejoicing; and deep, +tender, and self-forgetting are her love and reverence for him who +has placed it on her brow. How noble, how august, how beautiful is +maternity when thus bestowed and received! + +10. CONCLUSION.--Would you, then, secure the love and trust of +your wife, and become an object of her ever-growing tenderness and +reverence? Assure her, by all your manifestations, and your perfect +respect for the functions of her nature, that your passion shall be +in subjection of her wishes. It is not enough that you have secured +in her heart respect for your spiritual and intellectual manhood. To +maintain your self-respect in your relations with her, to perfect +your growth and happiness as a husband, you must cause your _physical_ +nature to be tenderly cherished and reverenced by her in all the +sacred intimacies of home. No matter how much she reverences your +intellectual or your social power, if by reason of your uncalled-for +passional manifestations you have made your physical manhood +disagreeable, how can you, in her presence, preserve a sense of manly +pride and dignity as a husband? + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +HEALTH AND DISEASE. + +Heredity and the Transmission of Diseases. + + +1. BAD HABITS.--It is known that the girl who marries the man with bad +habits, is, in a measure, responsible for the evil tendencies which +these habits have created in the children; and young people are +constantly warned of the danger in marrying when they know they come +from families troubled with chronic diseases or insanity. To be +sure the warnings have had little effect thus far in preventing such +marriages, and it is doubtful whether they will, unless the prophecy +of an extremist writing for one of our periodicals comes to pass--that +the time is not far distant when such marriages will be a crime +punishable by law. + +2. TENDENCY IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.--That there is a tendency in the +right direction must be admitted, and is perhaps most clearly shown in +some of the articles on prison reform. Many of them strongly urge the +necessity of preventive work as the truest economy, and some go so far +as to say that if the present human knowledge of the laws of heredity +were acted upon for a generation, reformatory measures would be +rendered unnecessary. + +3. SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES.--The mother who has ruined her health by +late hours, highly-spiced food, and general carelessness in regard to +hygienic laws, and the father who is the slave of questionable habits, +will be very sure to have children either mentally or morally inferior +to what they might otherwise have had a right to expect. But the +prenatal influences may be such that evils arising from such may be +modified to a great degree. + +4. FORMATION OF CHARACTER.--I believe that pre-natal influences may +do as much in the formation of character as all the education that can +come after, and that the mother may, in a measure, "will" what that +influence shall be, and that, as knowledge on the subject increases, +it will be more and more under their control. In that, as in +everything else, things that would be possible with one mother would +not be with another, and measures that would be successful with one +would produce opposite results from the other. + +5. INHERITING DISEASE. Consumption--that dread foe of modern life--is +the most frequently encountered of all affections as the result of +inherited predispositions. Indeed, some of the most eminent physicians +have believed it is never produced in any other way. Heart disease, +disease of the throat, excessive obesity, affections of the skin, +asthma, disorders of the brain and nervous system, gout, rheumatism +and cancer, are all hereditary. A tendency to bleed frequently, +profusely and uncontrollably, from trifling wounds, is often met with +as a family affection. + +6. MENTAL DERANGEMENTS.--Almost all forms of mental derangements +are hereditary--one of the parents or near relation being afflicted. +Physical or bodily weakness is often hereditary, such as scrofula, +gout, rheumatism, rickets, consumption, apoplexy, hernia, urinary +calculi, hemorrhoids or piles, cataract, etc. In fact, all physical +weakness, if ingrafted in either parent, is transmitted from parents +to offspring, and is often more strongly marked in the latter than in +the former. + +7. MARKS AND DEFORMITIES.--Marks and deformities are all transmissible +from parents to offspring, equally with diseases and peculiar +proclivities. Among such blemishes may be mentioned moles, hair-lips, +deficient or supernumerary fingers, toes, and other characteristics. +It is also asserted that dogs and cats that have accidentally lost +their tails, bring forth young similarly deformed. Blumenbach tells +of a man who had lost his little finger, having children with the same +deformity. + +8. CAUTION.--Taking facts like these into consideration, how very +important is it for persons, before selecting partners for life, to +deliberately weigh every element and circumstances of this nature, +if they would insure a felicitous union, and not entail upon their +posterity disease, misery and despair. Alas! in too many instances +matrimony is made a matter of money, while all earthly joys are +sacrificed upon the accursed altars of lust and mammon. + +[Illustration: Outdoor Sports Good Training For Morals As Well As +Health.] + + + * * * * * + +PREPARATION FOR MATERNITY. + + +1. WOMAN BEFORE MARRIAGE.--It is not too much to say that the life +of women before marriage ought to be adjusted with more reference to +their duties as mothers than to any other one earthly object. It is +the continuance of the race which is the chief purpose of marriage. +The passion of amativeness is probably, on the whole, the most +powerful of all human impulses. Its purpose, however, is rather to +subserve the object of continuing the species, than merely its own +gratification. + +2. EXERCISE.--Girls should be brought up to live much in the open air, +always with abundant clothing against wet and cold. They should be +encouraged to take much active exercise; as much, if they; want to, as +boys. It is as good for little girls to run and jump, to ramble in +the woods, to go boating, to ride and drive, to play and "have fun" +generally, as for little boys. + +3. PRESERVE THE SIGHT.--Children should be carefully prevented from +using their eyes to read or write, or in any equivalent exertion, +either before breakfast, by dim daylight, or by artificial light. Even +school studies should be such that they can be dealt with by daylight. +Lessons that cannot be learned without lamp-light study are almost +certainly excessive. This precaution should ordinarily be maintained +until the age of puberty is reached. + +4. BATHING.--Bathing should be enforced according to constitutions, +not by an invariable rule, except the invariable rule of keeping +clean. Not necessarily every day, nor necessarily in cold water; +though those conditions are doubtless often right in case of abundant +physical health and strength. + +5. WRONG HABITS.--The habit of daily natural evacuations should be +solicitously formed and maintained. Words or figures could never +express the discomforts and wretchedness which wrong habits in this +particular have locked down upon innumerable women for years and even +for life. + +6. DRESS.--Dress should be warm, loose, comely, and modest rather than +showy; but it should be good enough to Satisfy a child's desires after +a good appearance, if they are reasonable. Children, indeed, should +have all their reasonable desires granted as far as possible; for +nothing makes them reasonable so rapidly and so surely as to treat +them reasonably. + +7. TIGHT LACING.--Great harm is often done to maidens for want of +knowledge in them, or wisdom and care in their parents. The extremes +of fashions are very prone to violate not only taste, but physiology. +Such cases are tight lacing, low necked dresses, thin shoes, heavy +skirts. And yet, if the ladies only knew, the most attractive costumes +are not the extremes of fashion, but those which conform to fashion +enough to avoid oddity, which preserve decorum and healthfulness, +whether or no; and here is the great secret of successful dress--vary +fashion so as to suit the style of the individual. + +8. COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.--Last of all, parental care in the use +of whatever influence can be exerted in the matter of courtship and +marriage. Maidens, as well as youths, must, after all, choose for +themselves. It is their own lives which they take in their hands +as they enter the marriage state, and not their parents; and as the +consequences affect them primarily it is the plainest justice that +with the responsibility should be joined the right of choice. The +parental influence, then, must be indirect and advisory. Indirect, +through the whole bringing up of their daughter; for if they have +trained her aright, she will be incapable of enduring a fool, still +more a knave. + +9. A YOUNG WOMAN AND A YOUNG MAN HAD BETTER NOT BE ALONE TOGETHER VERY +MUCH UNTIL THEY ARE MARRIED.--This will be found to prevent a good +many troubles. It is not meant to imply that either sex, or any member +of it, is worse than another, or bad at all, or anything but human. It +is simply the prescription of a safe general rule. It is no more an +imputation than the rule that people had better not be left without +oversight in presence of large sums of other folks' money. The close +personal proximity of the sexes is greatly undesirable before +marriage. Kisses and caresses are most properly the monopoly of wives. +Such indulgences have a direct and powerful physiological effect. Nay, +they often lead to the most fatal results. + +10. IGNORANCE BEFORE MARRIAGE.--At some time before marriage those +who are to enter into it ought to be made acquainted with some of +the plainest common-sense limitations which should govern their new +relations to each other. Ignorance in such matters has caused an +infinite amount of disgust, pain and unhappiness. It is not necessary +to specify particulars here; see other portions of this work. + +[Illustration: A HEALTHY MOTHER.] + + + * * * * * + +IMPREGNATION. + + +1. CONCEPTION OR IMPREGNATION.--Conception or impregnation takes +place by the union of the male sperm and female sperm. Whether this +is accomplished in the ovaries, the oviducts or the uterus, is still a +question of discussion and investigation by physiologists. + +2. PASSING OFF THE OVUM.--"With many women," says Dr. Stockham in her +Tokology, "the ovum passes off within twenty-four or forty-eight hours +after menstruation begins. Some, by careful observation, are able to +know with certainty when this takes place. It is often accompanied +with malaise, nervousness, headache or actual uterine pain. A minute +substance like the white of an egg, with a fleck of blood in it, can +frequently be seen upon the clothing. Ladies who have noticed this +phenomenon testify to its recurring very regularly upon the same day +after menstruation. Some delicate women have observed it as late as +the fourteenth day." + +3. CALCULATIONS.--Conception is more liable to take place either +immediately before or immediately after the period, and, on that +account it is usual when calculating the date at which to expect +labor, to count from the day of disappearance of the last period. The +easiest way to make a calculation is to count back three months from +the date of the last period and add seven days; thus we might say that +the date was the 18th of July; counting back brings us to the 18th +of April, and adding the seven days will bring us to the 25th day of +April, the expected time. + +4. EVIDENCE OF CONCEPTION.--Very many medical authorities, +distinguished in this line, have stated their belief that women never +pass more than two or three days at the most beyond the forty weeks +conceded to pregnancy--that is two hundred and eighty days or ten +lunar months, or nine calendar months and a week. About two hundred +and eighty days will represent the average duration of pregnancy, +counting from the last day of the last period. Now it must be borne +in mind, that there are many disturbing elements which might cause +the young married woman to miss a time. During the first month of +pregnancy there is no sign by which the condition may be positively +known. The missing of a period, especially in a person who has, been +regular for some time, may lead one to suspect it; but there are many +attendant causes in married life, the little annoyances of household +duties, embarrassments, and the enforced gayety which naturally +surrounds the bride, and these should all be taken into consideration +in the discussion as to whether or not she is pregnant. But then, +again, there are some rare cases who have menstruated throughout their +pregnancy, and also cases where menstruation was never established and +pregnancy occurred. Nevertheless, the non-appearance of the period, +with other signs, may be taken as presumptive evidence. + +5. "ARTIFICIAL IMPREGNATION".--It may not be generally known that +union is not essential to impregnation; it is possible for conception +to occur without congress. All that is necessary is that seminal +animalcules enter the womb and unite there with the egg or ovum. It is +not essential that the semen be introduced through the medium of the +male organ, as it has been demonstrated repeatedly that by means of +a syringe and freshly obtained and healthy semen, impregnation can be +made to follow by its careful introduction. There are physicians in +France who make a specialty of "Artificial Impregnation," as it is +called, and produce children to otherwise childless couples, being +successful in many instances in supplying them as they are desired. + + + * * * * * + +SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF PREGNANCY. + + +1. THE FIRST SIGN.--The first sign that leads a lady to suspect that +she is pregnant is her ceasing-to-be-unwell. This, provided she has +just before been in good health, is a strong symptom of pregnancy; but +still there must be others to corroborate it. + +2. ABNORMAL CONDITION.--Occasionally, women menstruate during +the entire time of gestation. This, without doubt, is an abnormal +condition, and should be remedied, as disastrous consequences may +result. Also, women have been known to bear children who have never +menstruated. The cases are rare of pregnancy taking place where +menstruation has never occurred, yet it frequently happens that women +never menstruate from one pregnancy to another. In these cases this +symptom is ruled out for diagnotic purposes. + +3. MAY PROCEED FROM OTHER CAUSES.--But a ceasing-to-be-unwell may +proceed from other causes than that of pregnancy such as disease or +disorder of the womb or of other organs of the body--especially of +the lungs--it is not by itself alone entirely to be depended upon; +although, as a single sign, it is, especially if the patient be +healthy, one of the most reliable of all the other signs of pregnancy. + +[Illustration: EMBRYO OF TWENTY DAYS, LAID OPEN: _b_, the Back; + _a a a_ Covering, and pinned to Back.] + +4. MORNING SICKNESS.--If this does not arise from a disordered +stomach, it is a trustworthy sign of pregnancy. A lady who has once +had morning-sickness can always for the future distinguish it from +each and from every other sickness; it is a peculiar sickness, +which no other sickness can simulate. Moreover, it is emphatically a +morning-sickness--the patient being, as a rule, for the rest of the +day entirely free from sickness or from the feeling of sickness. + +5. A THIRD SYMPTOM.--A third symptom is shooting, throbbing and +lancinating pains in, and enlargement of the breasts, with soreness +of the nipples, occurring about the second month. In some instances, +after the first few months, a small quantity of watery fluid or a +little milk, may be squeezed out or them. This latter symptom, in a +first pregnancy, is valuable, and can generally be relied on as fairly +conclusive of pregnancy. Milk in the breast, however small it may +be in quantity, especially in a first pregnancy, is a reliable sign, +indeed, we might say, a certain sign, of pregnancy. + +6. A DARK BROWN AREOLA OR MARK around the nipple is one of the +distinguishing signs of pregnancy--more especially of a first +pregnancy. Women who have had large families, seldom, even when they +are not pregnant, lose this mark entirely; but when they are pregnant +it is more intensely dark--the darkest brown--especially if they be +brunettes. + +7. QUICKENING.--Quickening is one of the most important signs of +pregnancy, and one of the most valuable, as at the moment it occurs, +as a rule, the motion of the child is first felt, whilst, at the +same time, there is a sudden increase in the size of the abdomen. +Quickening is a proof that nearly half the time of pregnancy has +passed. If there be liability to miscarry, quickening makes matters +more safe, as there is less likelihood of a miscarriage after than +before it. A lady at this time frequently feels faint or actually +faints away; she is often giddy, or sick, or nervous, and in some +instances even hysterically; although, in rare cases, some women do +not even know the precise time when they quicken. + +8. INCREASED SIZE AND HARDNESS OF THE ABDOMEN.--This is very +characteristic of pregnancy. When a lady is not pregnant the +abdomen is soft and flaccid; when she is pregnant, and after she +has quickened, the abdomen; over the region of the womb, is hard and +resisting. + +[Illustration: EMBRYO AT THIRTY DAYS _a_, the Head; _b_, the Eyes; +_d_ the Neck; _e_, the Chest; _f_, the Abdomen.] + +9. EXCITABILITY OF MIND.--Excitability of mind is very common in +pregnancy, more especially if the patient be delicate; indeed, +excitability is a sign of debility, and requires plenty of good +nourishment, but few stimulants. + +10. ERUPTIONS ON THE SKIN.--Principally on the face, neck, or throat, +are tell-tales of pregnancy, and to an experienced matron, publish the +fact that an acquaintance thus marked is pregnant. + +11. THE FOETAL HEART.--In the fifth month there is a sign which, if +detected, furnishes indubitable evidence of conception, and that is +the sound of the child's heart. If the ear be placed on the abdomen, +over the womb, the beating of the foetal heart can sometimes be heard +quite plainly, and by the use of an instrument called the stethoscope, +the sounds can be still more plainly heard. This is a very valuable +sign, inasmuch as the presence of the child is not only ascertained, +but also its position, and whether there are twins or more. + +[Illustration: Baby Elizabeth, Brought Into the World by the "Twilight +Sleep" Method. It Robs Child Bearing of Most of Its Terrors.] + + + * * * * * + +DISEASES OF PREGNANCY. + + +1. COSTIVE STATE OF THE BOWELS.--A costive state of the bowels +is common in pregnancy; a mild laxative is therefore occasionally +necessary. The mildest must be selected, as a strong purgative +is highly improper, and even dangerous. Calomel and all other +preparations of mercury are to be especially avoided, as a mercurial +medicine is apt to weaken the system, and sometimes even to produce +a miscarriage. Let me again urge the importance of a lady, during the +whole period of pregnancy, being particular as to the state of her +bowels, as costiveness is a fruitful cause of painful, tedious and +hard labors. + +2. LAXATIVES.--The best laxatives are caster oil, salad oil, compound +rhubarb pills, honey, stewed prunes, stewed rhubarb, Muscatel raisins, +figs, grapes, roasted apples, baked pears, stewed Normandy pippins, +coffee, brown-bread and treacle. Scotch oatmeal made with new milk or +water, or with equal parts of milk and water. + +3. PILLS.--When the motions are hard, and when the bowels are easily +acted upon, two, or three, or four pills made of Castile soap will +frequently answer the purpose; and if they will, are far better than +any other ordinary laxative. The following is a good form. Take of: + + Castile Soap, five scruples; + Oil of Caraway, six drops; + +To make twenty-four pills. Two, or three, or four to be taken at +bedtime, occasionally. + +4. HONEY.--A teaspoonful of honey, either eaten at breakfast +or dissolved in a cup of tea, will frequently, comfortably and +effectually, open the bowels, and will supersede the necessity of +taking laxative medicine. + +5. NATURE'S MEDICINES.--Now, Nature's medicines--exercise in the open +air, occupation, and household duties--on the contrary, not only at +the time open the bowels, but keep up a proper action for the future; +her--their inestimable superiority. + +6. WARM WATER INJECTIONS.--An excellent remedy for costiveness of +pregnancy is an enema, either of warm water, or of Castile soap +and water, which the patient, by means of a self-injecting +enema-apparatus, may administer to herself. The quantity of warm water +to be used, is from half a pint to a pint; the proper heat is the +temperature of new milk; the time for administering it is early in the +morning, twice or three times a week. + +7. MUSCULAR PAINS OF THE ABDOMEN.--The best remedy is an abdominal +belt constructed for pregnancy, and adjusted with proper straps and +buckles to accomodate the gradually increasing size of the womb. This +plan often affords great comfort and relief; indeed, such a belt is +indispensably necessary. + +8. DIARRHEA.--Although the bowels in pregnancy are generally costive, +they are sometimes in an opposite state, and are relaxed. Now, +this relaxation is frequently owing to there having been prolonged +constipation, and Nature is trying to relieve herself by purging. +Do not check it, but allow it to have its course, and take a little +rhubarb or magnesia. The diet should be simple, plain, and nourishing, +and should consist of beef tea, chicken broth, arrow-root, and of +well-made and well-boiled oatmeal gruel. Butcher's meat, for a +few days, should not be eaten; and stimulants of all kinds must be +avoided. + +9. FIDGETS.--A pregnant lady sometimes suffers severely from +"fidgets"; it generally affects her feet and legs, especially at +night, so as to entirely destroy her sleep; she cannot lie still; she +every few minutes moves, tosses and tumbles about--first on one side, +then on the other. The causes of "fidgets" are a heated state of the +blood; an irritable condition of the nervous system, prevailing +at that particular time; and want of occupution. The treatment of +"fidgets" consists of: sleeping in a well-ventilated apartment, with +either window or door open; a thorough ablution of the whole body +every morning, and a good washing with tepid water of the face, neck, +chest, arms and hands every night; shunning hot and close rooms; +taking plenty of out-door exercise; living on a bland, nourishing, +put not rich diet; avoiding meat at night, and substituting in +lieu thereof, either a cupful of arrow-root made with milk, or of +well-boiled oatmeal gruel. + +10. EXERCISE.--If a lady, during the night, have the "fidgets," she +should get out of bed; take a short walk up and down the room, being +well protected by a dressing-gown; empty her bladders turn, her +pillow, so as to have the cold side next the head; and then lie down +again; and the chances are that she will now fall asleep. If during +the day she have the "fidgets," a ride in an open carriage; or a +stroll in the garden, or in the fields; or a little housewifery, +will do her good, and there is nothing like fresh air, exercise, and +occupation to drive away "the fidgets." + +11. HEARTBURN.--Heartburn is a common and often a distressing symptom +of pregnancy. The acid producing the heartburn is frequently much +increased by an overloaded stomach. An abstemious diet ought to be +strictly observed. Great attention should be paid to the quality +of the food. Greens, pastry, hot buttered toast, melted butter, and +everything that is rich and gross, ought to be carefully avoided. +Either a teaspoonful of heavy calcined magnesia, or half a teaspoonful +of carbonate of soda--the former to be preferred if there be +constipation--should occasionally be taken in a wine-glassful of warm +water. If these do not relieve--the above directions as to diet having +been strictly attended to--the following mixture ought to be tried. +Take of: + + Carbonate of Ammonia, half a drachm; + Bicarbonate of Soda, a drachm and a half; + Water, eight ounces; + +To make a mixture: Two tablespoonfuls to be taken twice or three times +a day, until relief be obtained. + +12. WIND IN THE STOMACH AND BOWELS.--This is a frequent reason why a +pregnant lady cannot sleep at night. The two most frequent causes of +flatulence are, first, the want of walking exercise during the day, +and second, the eating of a hearty meal just before going to bed at +night. The remedies are, of course, in each instance, self-evident. + +13. SWOLLEN LEGS FROM ENLARGED VEINS (VARICOSE VEINS.)--The veins are +frequently much enlarged and distended, causing the legs to be greatly +swollen and very painful, preventing the patient from taking proper +walking exercise. Swollen legs are owing to the pressure of the womb +upon the blood-vessels above. Women who have had large families are +more liable than others to varicose veins. If a lady marry late in +life, or if she be very heavy in pregnancy carrying the child low down +she is more likely to have distention of the veins. The best plan will +be for her to wear during the day an elastic stocking, which ought to +be made on purpose for her, in order that it may properly fit the leg +and foot. + +14. STRETCHING OF THE SKIN OF THE ABDOMEN. This is frequently, in a +first pregnancy, distressing, from the soreness it causes. The best +remedy is to rub the abdomen, every night and morning, with warm +camphorated oil, and to wear a belt during the day and a broad flannel +bandage at night, both of which should be put on moderately but +comfortably tight. The belt must be secured in its situation by means +of properly adjusted straps. + +15. BEFORE THE APPROACH OF LABOR.--The patient, before the approach of +labor, ought to take particular care to have the bowels gently opened, +as during that state a costive state greatly increases her sufferings, +and lengthens the period of her labor. A gentle action is all that is +necessary; a violent one would do more harm than good. + +16. SWOLLEN AND PAINFUL BREASTS. The breasts are, at times, during +pregnancy, much swollen and very painful; and, now and then, they; +cause the patient great uneasiness, as she fancies that she is going +to have either some dreadful tumor or a gathering of the bosom. There +need, in such a case, be no apprehension. The swelling and the pain +are the consequences of the pregnancy, and will in due time subside +without any unpleasant result. For treatment she cannot do better than +rub them well, every night and morning, with equal parts of Eau de +Cologne and olive oil, and wear a piece of new flannel over them; +taking care to cover the nipples with soft linen, as the friction of +the flannel might irritate them. + +17. BOWEL COMPLAINTS. Bowel complaints, during pregnancy, are not +unfrequent. A dose either of rhubarb and magnesia, or of castor oil, +are the best remedies, and are generally, in the way of medicine, all +that is necessary. + +18. CRAMPS. Cramps of the legs and of the thighs during the latter +period, and especially at night, are apt to attend pregnancy, and are +caused by the womb pressing upon the nerves which extend to the lower +extremities. Treatment. Tightly tie a handkerchief, folded like a +neckerchief, round the limb a little above the part affected, and let +it remain on for a few minutes. Friction by means of the hand either +with opodeldoc or with laudanum, taking care not to drink the lotion +by mistake, will also give relief. + +19. THE WHITES. The whites during pregnancy, especially during the +latter months, and particularly if the lady have had many children, +are frequently troublesome, and are, in a measure, occasioned by the +pressure of the womb on the parts below, causing irritation. The best +way, therefore, to obviate such pressure is for the patient to lie +down a great part of each day either on a bed or a sofa. She ought +to retire early to rest: she should sleep on a hair mattress and in +a well ventilated apartment, and should not overload her bed with +clothes. A thick, heavy quilt at these times, and indeed at all times, +is particularly objectionable; the perspiration cannot pass readily +through it as through blankets, and thus she is weakened. She ought to +live on plain, wholesome, nourishing food; and she must abstain from +beer and wine and spirits. The bowels ought to be gently opened by +means of a Seidlitz powder, which should occasionally be taken early +in the morning. + +[Illustration: A PRECIOUS FLOWER.] + +20. IRRITATION AND ITCHING OF THE EXTERNAL PARTS.--This is a most +troublesome affection, and may occur at any time, but more especially +during the latter period of the pregnancy. Let her diet be simple +and nourishing; let her avoid stimulants of all kinds. Let her take a +sitz-bath of warm water, considerably salted. Let her sit in the bath +with the body thoroughly covered. + +21. HOT AND INFLAMED.--The external parts, and the passage to the womb +(vagina), in these cases, are not only irritable and itching, but are +sometimes hot and inflamed, and are covered either with small pimples, +or with a whitish exudation of the nature of aphtha (thrush), somewhat +similar to the thrush on the mouth of an infant; then, the addition of +glycerine to the lotion is a great improvement and usually gives much +relief. + +22. BILIOUSNESS[Footnote: Some of these valuable suggestions are taken +from "Parturition Without Pain," by Dr. M.L. Holbrook.] is defined by +some one as piggishness. Generally it may be regarded as _overfed_. +The elements of the bile are in the blood in excess of the power +of the liver to eliminate them. This may be caused either from the +superabundance of the materials from which the bile is made or by +inaction of the organ itself. Being thus retained the system is +_clogged_. It is the result of either too much food in quantity or too +rich in quality. Especially is it caused by the excessive use of _fats +and sweets_. The simplest remedy is the best. A plain, light diet with +plenty of acid fruits, avoiding fats and sweets, will ameliorate or +remove it. Don't force the appetite. Let hunger demand food. In the +morning the sensitiveness of the stomach may be relieved by taking +before rising a cup of hot water, hot milk, hot lemonade, rice or +barley water, selecting according to preference. For this purpose many +find coffee made from browned wheat or corn the best drink. Depend for +a time upon liquid food that can be taken up by absorbents. The juice +of lemons and other acid fruits is usually grateful, and assists in +assimilating any excess in nutriment. These may be diluted according +to taste. With many, an egg lemonade proves relishing and acceptable. + +23. DERANGED APPETITE.--Where the appetite fails, let the patient go +without eating for a little while, say for two or three meals. +If, however, the strength begins to go, try the offering of some +unexpected delicacy; or give small quantities of nourishing food, as +directed in case of morning sickness. + +24. PILES.--For cases of significance consult a physician. As +with constipation, so with piles, its frequent result, fruit diet, +exercise, and sitz-bath regimen will do much to prevent the trouble. +Frequent local applications of a cold compress, and even of ice, and +tepid water injections, are of great service. Walking or standing +aggravate this complaint. Lying down alleviates it. Dr. Shaw says, +"There is nothing in the world that will produce so great relief in +piles as fasting. If the fit is severe, live a whole day, or even two, +if necessary, upon pure soft cold water alone. Give then very lightly +of vegetable food." + +25. TOOTHACHE.--There is a sort of proverb that a woman loses one +tooth every time she has a child. Neuralgic toothache during pregnancy +is, at any rate, extremely common, and often has to be endured. It is +generally thought not best to have teeth extracted during pregnancy, +as the shock to the nervous system has sometimes caused miscarriage. +To wash out the mouth morning and night with cold or lukewarm water +and salt is often of use. If the teeth are decayed, consult a good +dentist in the early stages of pregnancy, and have the offending teeth +properly dressed. Good dentists, in the present state of the science, +extract very few teeth, but save them. + +26. SALIVATION.--Excessive secretion of the saliva has usually been +reckoned substantially incurable. Fasting, cold water treatment, +exercise and fruit diet may be relied on to prevent, cure or alleviate +it, where this is possible, as it frequently is. + +27. HEADACHE.--This is, perhaps, almost as common in cases of +pregnancy as "morning sickness." It may be from determination of blood +to the head, from constipation or indigestion, constitutional "sick +headache," from neuralgia, from a cold, from rheumatism. Correct +living will prevent much headache trouble; and where this does not +answer the purpose, rubbing and making magnetic passes over the head +by the hand of some healthy magnetic person will often prove of great +service. + +28. LIVER-SPOTS.--These, on the face, must probably be endured, as no +trustworthy way of driving them off is known. + +29. JAUNDICE.--See the doctor. + +30. PAIN ON THE RIGHT SIDE.--This is liable to occur from about the +fifth to the eighth month, and is attributed to the pressure of +the enlarging womb upon the liver. Proper living is most likely to +alleviate it. Wearing a wet girdle in daytime or a wet compress at +night, sitz-baths, and friction with the wet hand may also be tried. +If the pain is severe a mustard poultice may be used. Exercise should +be carefully moderated if found to increase the pain. If there is +fever and inflammation with it, consult a physician. It is usually not +dangerous, but uncomfortable only. + +31. PALPITATION OF THE HEART.--To be prevented by healthy living and +calm, good humor. Lying down will often gradually relieve it, so will +a compress wet with water, as hot as can be borne, placed over the +heart and renewed as often as it gets cool. + +32. FAINTING.--Most likely to be caused by "quickening," or else by +tight dress, bad air, over-exertion, or other unhealthy living. It +is not often dangerous. Lay the patient in an easy posture, the head +rather low than high, and where cool air may blow across the face; +loosen the dress if tight; sprinkle cold water on the face and hands. + +33. SLEEPLESSNESS.--Most likely to be caused by incorrect living, +and to be prevented and cured by the opposite. A glass or two of cold +water drank deliberately on going to bed often helps one to go to +sleep; so does bathing the face and hands and the feet in cold water. +A short nap in the latter part of the forenoon can sometimes be had, +and is of use. Such a nap ought not to be too long, or it leaves a +heavy feeling; it should be sought with the mind in a calm state, in +a well-ventilated though darkened room, and with the clothing removed, +as at night. A similar nap in the afternoon is not so good, but is +better than nothing. The tepid sitz-bath on going to bed will often +produce sleep, and so will gentle percussion given by an attendant +with palms of the hand over the back for a few minutes on retiring. To +secure sound sleep do not read, write or severely tax the mind in the +evening. + + + * * * * * + +MORNING SICKNESS. + + +1. A pregnant woman is especially liable to suffer many forms of +dyspepsia, nervous troubles, sleeplessness, etc. + +2. MORNING SICKNESS is the most common and is the result of an +irritation in the womb, caused by some derangement, and it is greatly +irritated by the habit of indulging in sexual gratification during +pregnancy. If people would imitate the lower animals and reserve the +vital forces of the mother for the benefit of her unborn child, it +would be a great boon to humanity. Morning sickness may begin the next +day after conception, but it usually appears from two to three weeks +after the beginning of pregnancy and continues with more or less +severity from two to four months. + +3. HOME TREATMENT FOR MORNING SICKNESS.--Avoid all highly seasoned and +rich food. Also avoid strong tea and coffee. Eat especially light +and simple suppers at five o'clock and no later than six. Some simple +broths, such as will be found in the cooking department of this book +will be very nourishing and soothing. Coffee made from brown wheat or +corn is an excellent remedy to use. The juice of lemons reduced with +water will sometimes prove very effectual. A good lemonade with an egg +well stirred is very nourishing and toning to the stomach. + +4. HOT FOMENTATION on the stomach and liver is excellent, and warm and +hot water injections are highly beneficial. + +5. A little powdered magnesia at bed time, taken in a little milk, +will often give almost permanent relief. + +6. Avoid corsets or any other pressure upon the stomach. All garments +must be worn loosely. In many cases this will entirely prevent all +stomach disturbances. + + + * * * * * + +RELATION OF HUSBAND AND WIFE DURING PREGNANCY. + + +1. MISCARRIAGE.--If the wife is subject to miscarriage every +precaution should be employed to prevent its happening again. Under +such exceptional circumstances the husband should sleep apart the +first five months of pregnancy; after that length of time, the +ordinary relation may be assumed. If miscarriage has taken place, +intercourse should be avoided for a month or six weeks at least after +the accident. + +2. IMPREGNATION.--Impregnation is the only mission of intercourse, and +after that has taken place, intercourse can subserve no other purpose +than sensual gratification. + +3. WOMAN MUST JUDGE.--Every man should recognize the fact that +woman is the sole umpire as to when, how frequent, and under what +circumstances, connection should take place. Her desires should not +be ignored, for her likes and dislikes are--as seen in another part +of this book--easily impressed upon the unborn child. If she is strong +and healthy there is no reason why passion should not be gratified +with moderation and caution during the whole period of pregnancy, but +she must be the sole judge and her desires supreme. + +4. VOLUNTARY INSTANCES.--No voluntary instances occur through the +entire animal kingdom. All females repel with force and fierceness the +approaches of the male. The human family is the only exception. A man +that loves his wife, however, will respect her under all circumstances +and recognize her condition and yield to her wishes. + + + * * * * * + +A PRIVATE WORD TO THE EXPECTANT MOTHER. + + +Elizabeth Cady Stanton, in a lecture to ladies, thus strongly states +her views regarding maternity and painless childbirth: + +"We must educate our daughters to think that motherhood is grand, and +that God never cursed it. And this curse, if it be a curse, may be +rolled off, as man has rolled away the curse of labor; as the curse +has been rolled from the descendants of Ham. My mission is to preach +this new gospel. If you suffer, it is not because you are cursed of +God, but because you violate His laws. What an incubus it would take +from woman could she be educated to know that the pains of maternity +are no curse upon her kind. We know that among the Indians the squaws +do not suffer in childbirth. They will step aside from the ranks, even +on the march, and return in a short time to them with the new-born +child. What an absurdity then, to suppose that only enlightened +Christian women are cursed. But one word of fact is worth a volume of +philosophy; let me give you some of my own experience. I am the mother +of seven children. My girlhood was spent mostly in the open air. I +early imbibed the idea that a girl was just as good as a boy, and I +carried it out. I would walk five miles before breakfast or ride ten +on horseback. After I was married I wore my clothing sensibly. Their +weight hung entirely on my shoulders. I never compressed my body +out of its natural shape. When my first four children were born, +I suffered very little. I then made up my mind that it was totally +unnecessary for me to suffer at all; so I dressed lightly, walked +every day, lived as much as possible in the open air, ate no +condiments or spices, kept quiet, listened to music, looked at +pictures, and took proper care of myself. The night before the birth +of the child I walked three miles. The child was born without a +particle of pain. I bathed it and dressed it, and it weighed ten and +one-half pounds. That same day I dined with the family. Everybody +said I would surely die, but I never had a relapse or a moment's +inconvenience from it. I know this is not being delicate and refined, +but if you would be vigorous and healthy, in spite of the diseases of +your ancestors, and your own disregard of nature's laws, try it." + + + * * * * * + +SHALL PREGNANT WOMEN WORK? + + +1. OVER-WORKED MOTHERS.--Children born of over-worked mothers, are +liable to a be dwarfed and puny race. However, their chances are +better than those of the children of inactive, dependent, indolent +mothers who have neither brain nor muscle to transmit to son or +daughter. The truth seems to be that excessive labor, with either body +or mind, is alike injurious to both men and women; and herein lies the +sting of that old curse. This paragraph suggests all that need be said +on the question whether pregnant women should or should not labor. + +2. FOOLISHLY IDLE.--At least it is certain that they should not be +foolishly idle; and on the other hand, it is equally certain that they +should be relieved from painful laborious occupations that exhaust +and unfit them for happiness. Pleasant and useful physical and +intellectual occupation, however, will not only do no harm, but +positive good. + +3. THE BEST MAN AND THE BEST WOMAN.--The best man is he who can rear +the best child, and the best woman is she who can rear the best child. +We very properly extol to the skies Harriet Hosmer, the artist, for +cutting in marble the statue of a Zenobia; how much more should we +sing praises to the man and the woman who bring into the world a noble +boy or girl. The one is a piece of lifeless beauty, the other a piece +of life Including all beauty, all possibilities. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +WORDS FOR YOUNG MOTHERS. + + +The act of nursing is sometimes painful to the mother, especially +before the habit is fully established. The discomfort is greatly +increased if the skin that covers the nipples is tender and delicate. +The suction pulls it off leaving them in a state in which the +necessary pressure of the child's lips cause intense agony. This can +be prevented in a great measure, says Elizabeth Robinson Scovil, in +_Ladies' Home Journal_, if not entirely, by bathing the nipples +twice a day for six weeks before the confinement with powdered alum +dissolved in alcohol; or salt dissolved in brandy. If there is any +symptom of the skin cracking when the child begins; to nurse, they +should be painted with a mixture of tannin and glycerine. This must +be washed off before the baby touches them and renewed when it leaves +them. If they are very painful, the doctor will probably order morphia +added to the mixture. A rubber nipple shield to be put on at the time +of nursing, is a great relief. If the nipples are retracted or drawn +inward, they can be drawn out painlessly by filling a pint bottle with +boiling water, emptying it and quickly applying the mouth over the +nipple. As the air in the bottle cools, it condenses, leaving a vacuum +and the nipple is pushed out by the air behind it. + +When the milk accumulates or "cakes" in the breast in hard patches, +they should be rubbed very gently, from the base upwards, with warm +camphorated oil. The rubbing should be the lightest, most delicate +stroking, avoiding pressure. If lumps appear at the base of the breast +and it is red swollen and painful, cloths wrung out of cold water +should be applied and the doctor sent for. While the breast is full +and hard all over, not much apprehension need be felt. It is when +lumps appear that the physician should be notified, that he may, if +possible, prevent the formation of abscesses. + +While a woman is nursing she should eat plenty of nourishing +food--milk, oatmeal, cracked wheat, and good juicy, fresh meat, +boiled, roasted, or broiled, but not fried. Between each meal, before +going to bed, and once during the night, she should take a cup of +cocoa, gruel made with milk; good beef tea, mutton broth, or any warm, +nutritive drink. Tea and coffee are to be avoided. It is important +to keep the digestion in order and the bowels should be carefully +regulated as a means to this end. If necessary, any of the laxative +mineral waters can be used for this purpose, or a teaspoonful of +compound licorice powder taken at night. Powerful cathartic medicines +should be avoided because of their effect upon the baby. The child +should be weaned at nine months old, unless this time comes in very +hot weather, or the infant is so delicate that a change of food would +be injurious. If the mother is not strong her nurseling will sometimes +thrive better upon artificial food than on its natural nourishment. By +gradually lengthening the interval between the nursing and feeding the +child, when it is hungry, the weaning can be accomplished without much +trouble. + +A young mother should wear warm underclothing, thick stockings and +a flannel jacket over her night dress, unless she is in the habit of +wearing an under vest. If the body is not protected by warm clothing +there is an undue demand upon the nervous energy to keep up the vital +heat, and nerve force is wasted by the attempt to compel the system to +do what ought to be done for it by outside means. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO HAVE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. + + +1. PARENTAL INFLUENCE.--The art of having handsome children has been +a question that has interested the people of all ages and of all +nationalities. There is no longer a question as to the influence that +parents may and do exert upon their offspring, and it is shown in +other parts of this book that beauty depends largely on the condition +of health at the time of conception. It is therefore of no little +moment that parents should guard carefully their own health as well as +that of their children, that they may develop a vigorous constitution. +There cannot be beauty without good health. + +2. MARRYING TOO EARLY.--We know that marriage at too early an age, or +too late in life, is apt to produce imperfectly developed children, +both mentally and physically. The causes are self-evident: A couple +marrying too young, they lack maturity and consequently will impart +weakness to their offspring; while on the other hand persons marrying +late in life fail to find that normal condition which is conducive to +the health and vigor of offspring. + +3. CROSSING OF TEMPERAMENTS AND NATIONALITIES.--The Crossing of +temperaments and nationalities beautifies offspring. If young persons +of different nationalities marry, their children under proper hygienic +laws are generally handsome and healthy. For instance, an American +and German or an Irish and German uniting in marriage, produces better +looking children than those marrying in the same nationality. Persons +of different temperaments uniting in marriage, always produces a good +effect upon offspring. + +4. THE PROPER TIME.--To obtain the best results, conception should +take place only when both parties are in the best physical condition. +If either parent is in any way indisposed at the time of conception +the results will be seen in the health of the child. Many children +brought in the world with diseases or other infirmities stamped upon +their feeble frames show the indiscretion and ignorance of parents. + +5. DURING PREGNANCY.--During pregnancy the mother should take time +for self improvement and cultivate an interest for admiring beautiful +pictures or engravings which represent cheerful and beautiful +figures. Secure a few good books illustrating art, with some fine +representations of statues and other attractive pictures. The purchase +of several illustrated an journals might answer the purpose. + +6. WHAT TO AVOID.--Pregnant mothers should avoid thinking of ugly +people, or those marked by any deformity or disease; avoid injury, +fright and disease of any kind. Also avoid ungraceful position and +awkward attitude, but cultivate grace and beauty in herself. Avoid +difficulty with neighbors or other trouble. + +7. GOOD CARE.--She should keep herself in good physical condition, and +the system well nourished, as a want of food always injures the child. + +8. THE IMPROVEMENT OF THE MIND.--The mother should read suitable +articles in newspapers or good books, keep her mind occupied. If she +cultivates a desire for intellectual improvement, the same desire will +be more or less manifested in the growth and development of the child. + +9. LIKE PRODUCES LIKE, everywhere and always--in general forms and in +particular features--in mental qualities and in bodily conditions--in +tendencies of thought and in habits of action. Let this grand truth be +deeply impressed upon the hearts of all who desire or expect to become +parents. + +10. HEREDITY.--Male children generally inherit the peculiar traits and +diseases of the mother and female children those of the father. + +11. ADVICE.--Therefore it is urged that during the period of +utero-gestation, especial pains should be taken to render the life of +the female as harmonious as possible, that her surroundings should +all be of a nature calculated to inspire the mind with thoughts of +physical and mental beauties and perfections, and that she should +be guarded against all influences, of whatever character, having a +deteriorative tendency. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: THE BEAUTIFUL BUTTERFLY.] + + + * * * * * + +EDUCATION OF THE CHILD IN THE WOMB. + + +"A lady once interviewed a prominent college president and asked him +when the education of a child should begin. 'Twenty-five years before +it is born,' was the prompt reply." + +No better answer was ever given to that question Every mother may well +consider it. + +1. THE UNBORN CHILD AFFECTED BY THE THOUGHTS AND THE SURROUNDINGS OF +THE MOTHER.--That the child is affected in the womb of the mother, +through the influences apparently connected with objects by which she +is surrounded, appears to have been well known in ancient days, as +well as at the present time. + +2. EVIDENCES.--Many evidences are found in ancient history, especially +among the refined nations, showing that certain expedients +were resorted to by which their females, during the period of +utero-gestation, were surrounded by the superior refinements of the +age, with the hope of thus making upon them impressions which should +have the effect of communicating certain desired qualities to the +offspring. For this reason apartments were adorned with statuary and +paintings, and special pains were taken not only to convey favorable +impressions, but also to guard against unfavorable ones being made, +upon the mind of the pregnant woman. + +3. HANKERING AFTER GIN.--A certain mother while pregnant, longed for +gin, which could not be gotten; and her child cried incessantly for +six weeks till gin was given it, which it eagerly clutched and drank +with ravenous greediness, stopped crying, and became healthy. + +4. BEGIN TO EDUCATE CHILDREN AT CONCEPTION, and continue during their +entire carriage. Yet maternal study, of little account before the +sixth, after it, is most promotive of talents; which, next to goodness +are the father's joy and the mother's pride. What pains are taken +after they are born, to render them prodigies of learning, by the best +of schools and teachers from their third year; whereas their mother's +study, three months before their birth, would improve their intellects +infinitely more. + +5. MOTHERS, DOES GOD THUS PUT the endowment of your darlings into +your moulding power? Then tremble in view of its necessary +responsibilities, and learn how to wield them for their and your +temporal and eternal happiness. + +[Illustration] + +6. QUALITIES OF THE MIND.--The Qualities of the mind are perhaps +as much liable to hereditary transmission as bodily configuration. +Memory, intelligence, judgment, imagination, passions, diseases, and +what is usually called genius, are often very markedly traced in the +offspring.--I have known mental impressions forcibly impressed upon +the offspring at the time of conception, as concomitant of some +peculiar eccentricity, idiosyncrasy, morbidness, waywardness, +irritability, or proclivity of either one or both parents. + +7. THE PLASTIC BRAIN.--The plastic brain of the foetus is prompt +to receive all impressions. It retains them, and they become the +characteristics of the child and the man. Low spirits, violent +passions, irritability, frivolity, in the pregnant woman, leave +indelible marks on the unborn child. + +8. FORMATION OF CHARACTER.--I believe that pre-natal influences may +do as much in the formation of character as all the education that +can come after, and that mothers may, in a measure, "will," what that +influence shall be, and that, as knowledge on the subject increases, +it will be more and more under their control. In that, as in +everything else, things that would be possible with one mother would +not be with another, and measures that would be successful with one +would produce opposite results from the other. + +9. A HISTORICAL ILLUSTRATION.--A woman rode side by side with her +soldier husband, and witnessed the drilling of troops for battle. The +scene inspired her with a deep longing to see a battle and share in +the excitements of the conquerors. This was but a few months before +her boy was born, and his name was Napoleon. + +10. A MUSICIAN.--The following was reported by Dr. F.W. Moffatt, in +the mother's own language, "When I was first pregnant, I wished +my offspring to be a musician, so, during the period of that +pregnancy, settled my whole mind on music, and attended every musical +entertainment I possibly could. I had my husband, who has a violin, to +play for me by the hour. When the child was born, it was a girl, which +grew and prospered, and finally became an expert musician." + +11. MURDEROUS INTENT.--The mother of a young man, who was hung not +long ago, was heard to say: "I tried to get rid of him before he was +born; and, oh, how I wish now that I had succeeded!" She added that it +was the only time she had attempted anything of the sort; but, because +of home troubles, she became desperate, and resolved that her burdens +should not be made any greater. Does it not seem probable that the +murderous intent, even though of short duration, was communicated +to the mind of the child, and resulted in the crime for which he was +hung? + +12. THE ASSASSIN OF GARFIELD.--Guiteau's father was a man of integrity +and conquerable intellectual ability. His children were born in quick +succession, and the mother was obliged to work very hard. Before this +child was born, she resorted to every means, though unsuccessful, to +produce abortion. The world knows the result. Guiteau's whole life +was full of contradictions. There was little self-controlling power +in him; no common sense, and not a vestige or remorse or shame. In his +wild imagination, he believed himself capable of doing the greatest +work and of filling the loftiest station in life. Who will dare +question that this mother's effort to destroy him while in embryo was +the main cause in bringing him to the level of the brutes? + +13. CAUTION.--Any attempt, on the part of the mother, to destroy her +child before birth, is liable, if unsuccessful, to produce murderous +tendencies. Even harboring murderous thoughts, whether toward her own +child or not, might be followed by similar results. + + "The great King of kings + Hath in the table of His law commanded + That thou shall do no murder. Wilt thou, then, + Spurn at His edict, and fulfill a man's? + Take heed, for He holds vengeance in His hand + To hurl upon their heads that break his law." + --RICHARD III., _Act I._ + +[Illustration: The Embryo In Sixty Days.] + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO CALCULATE THE TIME OF EXPECTED LABOR. + + +1. The table on the opposite page has been very accurately compiled, +and will be very helpful to those who desire the exact time. + +2. The duration of pregnancy is from 278 to 280 days, or nearly +forty weeks. The count should be made from the beginning of the last +menstruation, and add eight days on account of the possibility of it +occurring within that period. The heavier the child the longer is the +duration; the younger the woman the longer time it often requires. The +duration is longer in married than in unmarried women; the duration is +liable to be longer if the child is a female. + +3. MOVEMENT.--The first movement is generally felt on the 135th day +after impregnation. + +4. GROWTH OF THE EMBRYO.--About the twentieth day the embryo resembles +the appearance of an ant or lettuce seed; the 30th day the embryo is +as large as a common horse fly; the 40th day the form resembles that +of a person; in sixty days the limbs begin to form, and in four months +the embryo takes the name of foetus. + +5. Children born after seven or eight months can survive and develop +to maturity. + +[Illustration: DURATION OF PREGNANCY.] + +DIRECTIONS.--Find in the upper horizontal line the date on which +the last menstruation ceased; the figure beneath gives the date of +expected confinement (280 days). + +Jan. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +Oct. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 + +Jan. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 +Oct. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Nov. + +Feb. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +Nov. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 + +Feb. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 +Nov. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Dec. + +Mar. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +Dec. 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 + +Mar. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 +Dec. 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 Jan. + +Apr. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +Jan. 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 + +Apr. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 +Jan. 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 Feb. + +May 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +Feb. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 + +May 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 +Feb. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Mar. + +June 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +Mar. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 + +June 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 +Mar. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 Apr. + +July 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +Apr. 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 + +July 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 +Apr. 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 May + +Aug. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +May 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 + +Aug. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 +May 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 June + +Sep. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +June 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 + +Sep. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 +June 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 July + +Oct. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +July 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 + +Oct. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 +July 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Aug. + +Nov. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +Aug. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 + +Nov. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 +Aug. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 Sep. + +Dec. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 +Sep. 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 + +Dec. 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 +Sep. 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Oct. + +[Illustration: If menstruation ceased Oct. 31, the confinement will +take place July 18.] + + + * * * * * + +THE SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF LABOR. + + +1. Although the majority of patients, a day or two before the labor +comes on, are more bright and cheerful, some few are more anxious, +fanciful, fidgety and reckless. + +2. A few days, sometimes a few hours, before labor commences, +the child "falls" as it is called; that is to say, there is a +subsidence--a dropping--of the womb lower down the abdomen. This +is the reason why she feels lighter and more comfortable, and more +inclined to take exercise, and why she can breathe more freely. + +3. The only inconvenience of the dropping of the womb is, that the +womb presses more on the bladder, and sometimes causes an irritability +of that organ, inducing a frequent desire to make water. The wearing +the obstetric belt, as so particularly enjoined in previous pages, +will greatly mitigate this inconvenience. + +4. The subsidence--the dropping--of the womb may then be considered +one of the earliest of the precursory symptoms of child-birth, and as +the herald of the coming event. + +5. She has, at this time, an increased moisture of the vagina--the +passage leading to the womb--and of the external parts. She has, at +length, slight pains, and then she has a "show," as it is called; +which is the coming away of a mucous plug which, during pregnancy, had +hermetically sealed up the mouth of the womb. The "show" is generally +tinged with a little blood. When a "show" takes place, she may rest +assured that labor has actually commenced. One of the early symptoms +of labor is a frequent desire to relieve the bladder. + +6. She ought not, on any account, unless it be ordered by the medical +man, to take any stimulant as a remedy for the shivering. In case of +shivering or chills, a cup either of hot lea or of hot gruel will be +the best remedy for the shivering; and an extra blanket or two +should be thrown over her, and be well tucked around her, in order to +thoroughly exclude the air from the body. The extra clothing, as soon +as she is warm and perspiring, should be gradually removed, as she +ought not to be kept very hot, or it will weaken her, and will thus +retard her labor. + +7. She must not, on any account, force down--as her female friends +or as a "pottering" old nurse may advise--to "grinding pains"; if sue +does, it will rather retard than forward her labor. 8. During this +stage, she had better walk about or sit down, and not confine herself +to bed; indeed, there is no necessity for her, unless she particularly +desire it, to remain in her chamber. + +9. After an uncertain length of time, the pains alter in character. +From being "grinding" they become "bearing down," and more regular and +frequent, and the skin becomes both hot and perspiring. These may be +considered the true labor-pains. The patient ought to bear in mind +then that "true labor-pains" are situated in the back, and loins; they +come on at regular intervals, rise gradually up to a certain pitch of +intensity, and abate as gradually; it is a dull, heavy, deep sort of +pain, producing occasionally a low moan from the patient; not sharp or +twinging, which would elicit a very different expression of suffering +from her. + +10. Labor--and truly it maybe called, "labor." The fiat has gone forth +that in "sorrow thou shalt bring forth children." Young, in his "Night +Thoughts," beautifully expresses the common lot of women to suffer: + + "'Tis the common lot; + in this shape, or in that, has fate entailed + The mother's throes on all of women born, + Not more the children than sure heirs of pain." + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: LOVE OF HOME.] + + + * * * * * + +SPECIAL SAFEGUARDS IN CONFINEMENT. + + +1. Before the confinement takes place everything should be carefully +arranged and prepared. The physician should be spoken to and be given +the time as near as can be calculated. The arrangement of the bed, +bed clothing, the dress for the mother and the expected babe should be +arranged for convenient and immediate use. + +2. A bottle of sweet oil, or vaseline, or some pure lard should be +in readiness. Arrangements should be made for washing all soiled +garments, and nothing by way of soiled rags or clothing should be +allowed to accumulate. + +3. A rubber blanket, or oil or waterproof cloth should be in readiness +to place underneath the bottom sheet to be used during labor. + +4. As soon as labor pains have begun a fire should be built and hot +water kept ready for immediate use. The room should be kept well +ventilated and comfortably warm. + +5. No people should be allowed in or about the room except the nurse, +the physician, and probably members of the family when called upon to +perform some duty. + +6. During labor no solid food should be taken; a little milk, broth or +soup may be given, provided there is an appetite. Malt or spirituous +liquors should be carefully avoided. A little wine, however, may be +taken in case of great exhaustion. Lemonade, toast, rice water, and +tea may be given when desired. Warm tea is considered an excellent +drink for the patient at this time. + +7. When the pains become regular and intermit, it is time that the +physician is sent for. On the physician's arrival he will always take +charge of the case and give necessary instructions. + +8. In nearly all cases the head of the child is presented first. The +first pains are generally grinding and irregular, and felt mostly in +the groins and within, but as labor progresses the pains are felt in +the abdomen, and as the head advances there is severe pain in the back +and hips and a disposition to bear down, but no pressure should be +placed upon the abdomen of the patient; it is often the cause of +serious accidents. Nature will take care of itself. + +9. Conversation should be of a cheerful character, and all allusions +to accidents of other child births should be carefully avoided. + +10. ABSENCE OF PHYSICIAN.--In case the child should be born in the +absence of the physician, when the head is born receive it in the hand +and support it until the shoulders have been expelled, and steady the +whole body until the child is born. Support the child with both hands +and lay it as far from the mother as possible without stretching the +cord. Remove the mucus from the nostrils and mouth, wrap the babe in +warm flannel, make the mother comfortable, give her a drink, and allow +the child to remain until the pulsations in the cord have entirely +ceased. After the pulsations have entirely ceased then sever the cord. +Use a dull pair of scissors, cutting it about two inches from the +child's navel, and generally no time is necessary, and when the +physician comes he will give it prompt attention. + +11. If the child does not breathe at its arrival, says Dr. Stockham in +her celebrated Tokology, a little slapping on the breast and body will +often produce respiration, and if this is not efficient, dash cold +water on the face and chest; if this fails then close the nostrils +with two fingers, breathe into the mouth and then expel the air from +the lungs by gentle pressure upon the chest. Continue this as long as +any hope of life remains. + +12. AFTER-BIRTH.--Usually contractions occur and the after-birth is +readily expelled; if not, clothes wrung out in hot water laid upon +the bowels will often cause the contraction of the uterus, and the +expulsion of the after-birth. + +13. If the cord bleeds severely inject cold water into it. This in +many cases removes the after-birth. + +14. After the birth of the child give the patient a bath, if the +patient is not too exhausted, change the soiled quilts and clothing, +fix up everything neat and clean and let the patient rest. + +15 Let the patient drink weak tea, gruel, cold or hot water, whichever +she chooses. + +16. After the birth of the baby, the mother should be kept perfectly +quiet for the first 24 hours and not allowed to talk or see anyone +except her nearest relations, however well she may seem. She should +not get out of bed for ten days or two weeks, nor sit up in bed for +nine days. The more care taken of her at this time, the more rapid +will be her recovery when she does get about. She should go up and +down stairs slowly, carefully, and as seldom as possible for six +weeks. She should not stand more than is unavoidable during that time, +but sit with her feet up and lie down when she has time to rest. +She should not work a sewing machine with a treadle for at least six +weeks, and avoid any unusual strain or over-exertion. "An ounce of +prevention IS worth a pound of cure," and carefulness will be well +repaid by a perfect restoration to health. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: MY PRICELESS JEWEL. What will be his fate in life?] + + + * * * * * + +WHERE DID THE BABY COME FROM? + + + Where did you come from, baby dear? + Out of the everywhere into here. + + Where did you get the eyes so blue? + Out of the sky, as I came through. + + Where did you get that little tear? + I found it waiting when I got here. + + What makes your forehead so smooth and high? + A soft hand stroked it as I went by. + + What makes your cheek like a warm, white rose? + I saw something better than anyone knows. + + Whence that three-cornered smile of bliss? + Three angels gave me at once a kiss. + + Where did you get this pretty ear? + God spoke, and it came out to hear. + + Where did you get those arms and hands? + Love made itself into hooks and bands. + + Feet whence did you come, you darling things? + From the same box as the cherub's wings. + + How did they all come just to be you? + God thought of me, and so I grew. + + But how did you come to us, you dear? + God thought about you, and so I am here. + + --GEORGE MACDONALD. + + + * * * * * + +CHILD BEARING WITHOUT PAIN. + +HOW TO DRESS, DIET AND EXERCISE IN PREGNANCY. + + +1. AILMENTS.--Those ailments to which pregnant women are liable are +mostly inconveniences rather than diseases, although they may be +aggravated to a degree of danger. No patent nostrums or prescriptions +are necessary. If there is any serious difficulty the family physician +should be consulted. + +2. COMFORT.--Wealth and luxuries are not a necessity. Comfort will +make the surroundings pleasant. Drudgery, overwork and exposure are +the three things that tend to make women miserable while in the state +of pregnancy, and invariably produce irritable, fretful and feeble +children. Dr. Stockham says in her admirable work "Tokology:" "The +woman who indulges in the excessive gayety of fashionable life, as +well as the overworked woman, deprives her child of vitality. +She attends parties in a dress that is unphysiological in warmth, +distribution and adjustment, in rooms badly ventilated; partakes of +a supper of indigestible compounds, and remains into the 'wee, sma' +hours,' her nervous system taxed to the utmost." + +3. EXERCISE.--A goodly amount of moderate exercise is a necessity, +and a large amount of work may be accomplished if prudence is properly +exercised. It is overwork, and the want of sufficient rest and sleep +that produces serious results. + +4. DRESSES.--A pregnant woman should make her dresses of light +material and avoid surplus trimmings. Do not wear anything that +produces any unnecessary weight. Let the clothing be light but +sufficient in quantity to produce comfort in all kinds of weather. + +5. GARMENTS.--It is well understood that the mother must breathe +for two, and in order to dress healthily the garments should be worn +loose, so as to give plenty of room for respiration. Tight clothes +only cause disease, or produce frailty or malformation in the +offspring. + +6. SHOES.--Wear a large shoe in pregnancy; the feet may swell and +untold discomfort may be the result. Get a good large shoe with a +large sole. Give the feet plenty of room. Many women suffer from +defects in vision, indigestion, backache, loss of voice, headache, +etc., simply as the result of the reflex action of the pressure of +tight shoes. + +7. LACING.--Many women lace themselves to the first period of their +gestation in order to meet their society engagements. All of this is +vitally wrong and does great injury to the unborn child as well as to +inflict many ills and pains upon the mother. + +8. CORSETS.--Corsets should be carefully avoided, for the corset more +than any other one thing is responsible for making woman the victim +of more woes and diseases than all other causes put together. About +one-half the children born in this country die before they are five +years of age, and no doubt this terrible mortality is largely due to +this instrument of torture known as the _modern corset._ Tight lacing +is the cause of infantile mortality. It slowly but surely takes the +lives of tens of thousands, and so effectually weakens and diseases, +so as to cause the untimely death of millions more. + +9. BATHING.--Next to godliness is cleanliness. A pregnant woman should +take a sponge or towel-bath two or three times a week. It stimulates +and invigorates the entire body. No more than two or three minutes +are required. It should be done in a warm room, and the body rubbed +thoroughly after each bathing. + +10. THE HOT SITZ-BATH.--This bath is one of the most desirable and +healthful baths for pregnant women. It will relieve pain or acute +inflammation, and will be a general tonic in keeping the system in +a good condition. This may be taken in the middle of the forenoon or +just before retiring, and if taken just before retiring will produce +invigorating sleep, will quiet the nerves, cure headache, weariness, +etc. It is a good plan to take this bath every night before retiring +in case of any disorders. A woman who keeps this tip during the period +of gestation will have a very easy labor and a strong, vigorous babe. + +11. HOT FOMENTATIONS.--Applying flannel cloths wrung out of simple +or medicated hot water is a great relief for acute suffering, such as +neuralgia, rheumatic pain, biliousness, constipation, torpid liver, +colic, flatulency, etc. + +12. THE HOT WATER-BAG.--The hot water-bag serves the same purpose +as hot fomentations, and is much more convenient. No one should go +through the period of gestation without a hot water-bag. + +13. THE COLD COMPRESS.--This is a very desirable and effectual +domestic remedy. Take a towel wrung from cold water and apply it +to the affected parts; then cover well with several thicknesses +of flannel. This is excellent in cases of sore throat, hoarseness, +bronchitis, inflammation of the lungs, croup, etc. It is also +excellent for indigestion, constipation or distress of the bowels +accompanied by heat. + +14. DIET.--The pregnant woman should eat nutritious, but not +stimulating or heating food, and eat at the regular time. Avoid +drinking much while eating. + +15. AVOID salt, pepper and sweets as much as possible. + +16. EAT all kinds of grains, vegetables and fruits, and avoid salted +meat, but eat chicken, steak, fish, oysters, etc. + +17. THE WOMAN WHO EATS INDISCRIMINATELY anything and everything the +same as any other person, will have a very painful labor and suffer +many ills that could easily be avoided by more attention being paid to +the diet. With a little study and observation a woman will soon learn +what to eat and what to avoid. + +[Illustration: _Nature Versus Corsets Illustrated_ + +A. The ribs of large curve; the lungs large and roomy; the liver, +stomach and bowels in their normal position; all with abundant room. + +B. The ribs bent almost to angles; the lungs contracted; the liver, +stomach and intestines forced down into the pelvis, crowding the womb +seriously.] + +18. The above cuts are given on page 113; we repeat them here for the +benefit of expectant mothers who may be ignorant of the evil effects +of the corset. + +Displacement of the womb, interior irritation and inflammation, +miscarriage and sterility, are some of the many injuries of tight +lacing. There are many others, in fact their name is legion, and every +woman who has habitually worn a corset and continues to wear it during +the early period of gestation must suffer severely during childbirth. + +[Illustration: _"The House We Live In" for nine months: showing +the ample room provided by Nature when uncontracted by inherited +inferiority of form or artificial dressing._] + +[Illustration: _A Contracted Pelvis. Deformity and Insufficient +Space._] + +19. THIS IS WHAT DR. STOCKHAM says: "If women had _common sense_, +instead of _fashion sense_, the corset would not exist. There are +not words in the English language to express my convictions upon this +subject. The corset more than any other one thing is responsible for +woman's being the victim of disease and doctors.... + +"What is the effect upon the child? One-half of the children born in +this country die before they are five years of age. Who can tell how +much this state of things is due to the enervation of maternal life +forces by the one instrument of torture? + +"I am a temperance woman. No one can realize more than I the +devastation and ruin alcohol in its many tempting forms has brought +to the human family. Still I solemnly believe that in weakness and +deterioration of health, the corset has more to answer for than +intoxicating drinks." When asked how far advanced a woman should be +in pregnancy before she laid aside her corset, Dr. Stockham said with +emphasis: "_The corset should not be worn for two hundred years before +pregnancy takes place._ Ladies, it will take that time at least +to overcome the ill-effect of tight garments which you think so +essential." + +20. PAINLESS PREGNANCY AND CHILD-BIRTH.--"Some excellent popular +volumes," says Dr. Haff, "have been largely devoted to directions how +to secure a comfortable period of pregnancy and painless delivery. +After much conning of these worthy efforts to impress a little common +sense upon the sisterhood, we are convinced that all may be summed +up under the simple heads of: (1) An unconfined and lightly burdened +waist; (2) Moderate but persistent outdoor exercise, of which walking +is the best form; (3) A plain unstimulating, chiefly fruit and +vegetable diet; (4) Little or no intercourse during the time. + +"These are hygienic rules of benefit under any ordinary conditions; +yet they are violated by almost every pregnant lady. If they are +followed, biliousness, indigestion, constipation, swollen limbs, +morning sickness and nausea--all will absent themselves or be much +lessened. In pregnancy more than at any other time, corsets are +injurious. The waist and abdomen must be allowed to expand freely with +the growth of the child. The great process of _evolution_ must have +room." + +21. IN ADDITION, we can do no better than quote the following +recapitulation by Dr. Stockham in her famous Tokology: "To give a +woman the greatest immunity from suffering during pregnancy, prepare +her for a safe and comparatively easy delivery, and insure a speedy +recovery, all hygienic conditions must be observed. + +"The dress must give: + +"1. Freedom of movement; + +"2. No pressure upon any part of the body; + +"3. No more weight than is essential for warmth, and both weight and +warmth evenly distributed. + +"These requirements necessitate looseness, lightness and warmth, which +can be obtained from the union underclothes, a princess skirt and +dress, with a shoe that allows full development and use of the foot. +While decoration and elegance are desirable, they should not sacrifice +comfort and convenience. + +22. "LET THE DIET BE LIGHT, plain and nutritious. Avoid fats and +sweets, relying mainly upon fruits and grain that contain little of +the mineral salts. By this diet bilious and inflammatory conditions +are overcome, the development of bone in the foetus lessened, and +muscles necessary in labor nourished and strengthened. + +23. "EXERCISE should be sufficient and of such a character as +will bring into action gently every muscle of the body; but must +particularly develop the muscles of the trunk, abdomen and groin, that +are specially called into action in labor. Exercise, taken faithfully +and systematically, more than any other means assists assimilative +processes and stimulates the organs of excretion to healthy action. + +24. "BATHING MUST BE FREQUENT and regular. Unless in special +conditions the best results are obtained from tepid or cold bathing, +which invigorates the system and overcomes nervousness. The sitz-bath +is the best therapeutic and hygienic measure within the reach of the +pregnant woman. + +"Therefore, to establish conditions which will overcome many previous +infractions of law, _dress_ naturally and physiologically; _live_ much +of the time _out of doors_; have _abundance_ of _fresh air_ in the +house; let _exercise_ be _sufficient_ and _systematic_; pursue a _diet +of fruit_, rice and vegetables; _regular rest_ must be faithfully +taken; _abstain_ from the sexual relation. To those who will commit +themselves to this course of life, patiently and persistently carrying +it out through the period of gestation, the possibilities of attaining +a healthy, natural, painless parturition will be remarkably increased. + +25. "IF THE FIRST EXPERIMENT should not result in a painless labor, it +without doubt will prove the beginning of sound health. Persisted in +through years of married life, the ultimate result will be more and +more closely approximated, while there will be less danger of diseases +after childbirth and better and more vigorous children will be +produced. + +"Then pregnancy by every true woman will be desired, and instead of +being a period of disease, suffering and direful forebodings, will +become a period of health, exalted pleasure and holiest anticipations. +Motherhood will be deemed the choicest of earth's blessings; women +will rejoice in a glad maternity and for any self-denial will be +compensated by healthy, happy, buoyant, grateful children." + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: SWAT THE FLIES AND SAVE THE BABIES. LIFE CYCLE OF A FLY + EGG STAGE 1 DAY + MAGGOT STAGE 5 DAYS + PUPA STAGE 5 DAYS + 14 DAYS LATER IT BEGINS TO LAY EGGS] + +[Illustration: JOAN OF ARC.] + + + * * * * * + +SOLEMN LESSONS FOR PARENTS. + + +1. EXCESSIVE PLEASURES AND PAINS.--A woman during her time of pregnancy +should of all women be most carefully tended, and kept from violent +and excessive pleasures and pains; and at that time she should +cultivate gentleness, benevolence and kindness. + +2. HEREDITARY EFFECTS.--Those who are born to become insane do not +necessarily spring from insane parents, or from any ancestry having +any apparent taint of lunacy in their blood, but they do receive from +their progenitors certain impressions upon their mental and moral, as +well as their physical beings, which impressions, like an iron mould, +fix and shape their subsequent destinies. Hysteria in the mother may +develop insanity in the child, while drunkenness in the father may +impel epilepsy, or mania, in the son. Ungoverned passions in the +parents may unloose the furies of unrestrained madness in the minds of +their children, and the bad treatment of the wife may produce sickly +or weak-minded children. + +3. The influence of predominant passion may be transmitted from the +parent to the child, just as surely a similarity of looks. It has been +truly said that "the faculties which predominate in power and activity +in the parents, when the organic existence of the child commences, +determine its future mental disposition." A bad mental condition of +the mother may produce serious defects upon her unborn child. + +4. The singular effects produced on the unborn child by the sudden +mental emotions of the mother are remarkable examples of a kind +of electrotyping on the sensitive surfaces of living forms. It is +doubtless true that the mind's action in such cases may increase or +diminish the molecular deposits in the several portions of the system. +The precise place which each separate particle assumes in the new +organic structure may be determined by the influence of thought or +feeling. Perfect love and perfect harmony should exist between wife +and husband during this vital period. + +5. AN ILLUSTRATION.--If a sudden and powerful emotion of a woman's mind +exerts such an influence upon her stomach as to excite vomiting, and +upon her heart as almost to arrest its motion and induce fainting, can +we believe that it will have no effect upon her womb and the fragile +being contained within it? Facts and reason then, alike demonstrate +the reality of the influence, and much practical advantage would +result to both parent and child, were the conditions and extent of its +operations better understood. + +6. Pregnant women should not be exposed to causes likely to distress +or otherwise strongly impress their minds. A consistent life with +worthy objects constantly kept in mind should be the aim and purpose +of every expectant mother. + + + * * * * * + +TEN HEALTH RULES FOR BABIES CUT DEATH RATE IN TWO. + + +Ninety-four babies out of every thousand born in New York died last +year. Only thirty-eight babies died in Montclair, N.J., out of every +thousand born during the same period. Much credit for this low rate of +infant mortality in the latter city is given the Montclair Day Nursery +which prescribes the following decade of baby health rules: + +1. Give a baby pure milk and watch its feeding very closely. + +2. Keep everything connected with a baby absolutely clean. Cleanliness +in the house accounts for a baby's health. Untidy babies are usually +sick babies. + +3. Never let a baby get chilled. Keep its hands and feet warm. + +4. Regulate a baby's day by the clock. Everything about its wants +should be attended to on schedule time. + +5. Diminish a baby's food the minute signs of illness appear. Most +babies are overfed anyway. + +6. Weigh a baby every week until it is a year old. Its weight is an +index of its health. + +7. Every mother should get daily out-door exercise. It means better +health for her babies. + +8. Every baby should be "mothered" more and mauled less. Babies thrive +on cuddling but they can get along on a lot less kissing. + +9. Don't amuse or play with your baby too much. Its regular daily +routine is all the stimulation its little brain needs at first. + +10. Don't let too many different people take care of the baby. Even +members of the same family make a baby nervous if they fuss around him +too much. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: MAN WITH SCALES AND INFANT.] + + + * * * * * + +THE CARE OF NEW-BORN INFANTS. + + +1. The first thing to be done ordinarily is to give the little +stranger a bath by using soap and warm water. To remove the white +material that usually covers the child use olive oil, goose oil or +lard, and apply it with a soft piece of worn flannel, and when the +child is entirely clean rub all off with a fresh piece of flannel. + +2. Many physicians in the United States recommend a thorough oiling +of the child with pure lard or olive oil, and then rub dry as above +stated. By these means water is avoided, and with it much risk of +taking cold. + +3. The application of brandy or liquor is entirely unnecessary, and +generally does more injury than good. + +4. If an infant should breathe feebly, or exhibit other signs of great +feebleness, it should not be washed at once, but allowed to remain +quiet and undisturbed, warmly wrapped up until the vital actions have +acquired a fair degree of activity. + +5. DRESSING THE NAVEL.--There is nothing better for dressing the navel +than absorbent antiseptic cotton. There needs be no grease or oil +upon the cotton. After the separation of the cord the navel should be +dressed with a little cosmoline, still using the absorbent cotton. The +navel string usually separates in a week's time; it may be delayed for +twice this length of time, this will make no material difference, and +the rule is to allow it to drop off of its own accord. + +6. THE CLOTHING OF THE INFANT.--The clothing of the infant should be +light, soft and perfectly loose. A soft flannel band is necessary only +until the navel is healed. Afterwards discard bands entirely if you +wish your babe to be happy and well. Make the dresses "Mother Hubbard" +Put on first a soft woolen shirt, then prepare the flannel skirts to +hang from the neck like a slip. Make one kind with sleeves and one +just like it without sleeves, then white muslin skirts (if they are +desired), all the same way. Then baby is ready for any weather. In +intense heat simply put on the one flannel slip with sleeves, leaving +off the shirt. In Spring and Fall the shirt and skirt with no sleeves. +In Cold weather shirt and both skirts. These garments can be all put +on at once, thus making the process of dressing very quick and easy. +These are the most approved modern styles for dressing infants, and +with long cashmere stockings pinned to the diapers the little feet +are free to kick with no old-fashioned pinning blanket to torture the +naturally active, healthy child, and retard its development. If +tight bands are an injury to grown people, then in the name of pity +emancipate the poor little infant from their torture! + +7. THE DIAPER.--Diapers should be of soft linen, and great care should +be exercised not to pin them too tightly. Never dry them, but always +wash them thoroughly before being used again. + +8. The band need not be worn after the navel has healed so that it +requires no dressing, as it serves no purpose save to keep in place +the dressing of the navel. The child's body should be kept thoroughly +warm around the chest, bowels and feet. Give the heart and lungs +plenty of room to heave. + +9. The proper time for shortening the clothes is about three months in +Summer and six months in Winter. + +10. INFANT BATHING.--The first week of a child's life it should not be +entirely stripped and washed. It is too exhausting. After a child is +over a week old it should be bathed every day; after a child is three +weeks old it may be put in the water and supported with one hand while +it is being washed with the other. Never, however, allow it to remain +too long in the water. From ten to twenty minutes is the limit. Use +Pears' soap or castile soap, and with a sponge wipe quickly, or use a +soft towel. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +NURSING. + + +1. The new-born infant requires only the mother's milk. The true +mother will nurse her child if it is a possibility. The infant will +thrive better and have many more chances for life. + +2. The mother's milk is the natural food, and nothing can fully +take its place. It needs no feeding for the first few days as it +was commonly deemed necessary a few years ago. The secretions in the +mother's breast are sufficient. + +3. Artificial Food. Tokology says: "The best artificial food is cream +reduced and sweetened with sugar of mill. Analysis shows that human +milk contains more cream and sugar and less casein than the milk of +animals." + +4. Milk should form the basis of all preparations of food. If the +milk is too strong, indigestion will follow, and the child will lose +instead of gaining strength. + +WEANING.--The weaning of the child depends much upon the strength and +condition of the mother. If it does not occur in hot weather, from +nine to twelve months is as long as any child should be nursed. + +FOOD IN WEANING.--Infants cry a great deal during weaning, but a few +days of patient perseverance will overcome all difficulties. Give the +child purely a milk diet, Graham bread, milk crackers and milk, or a +little milk thickened with boiled rice, a little jelly, apple sauce, +etc., may be safely used. Cracked wheat, oatmeal, wheat germ, or +anything of that kind thoroughly cooked and served with a little cream +and sugar, is an excellent food. + +MILK DRAWN FROM THE BREASTS.--If the mother suffers considerably from +the milk gathering in the breast after weaning the child, withdraw it +by taking a bottle that holds about a pint or a quart, putting a piece +of cloth wrung out in warm water around the bottle, then fill it with +boiling water, pour the water out and apply the bottle to the breast, +and the bottle cooling will form a vacuum and will withdraw the milk +into the bottle. This is one of the best methods now in use. + +RETURN OF THE MENSES.--If the menses return while the mother is +nursing, the child should at once be weaned, for the mother's milk +no longer contains sufficient nourishment. In case the mother should +become pregnant while the child is nursing it should at once be +weaned, or serious results will follow to the health of the child. A +mother's milk is no longer sufficiently rich to nourish the child or +keep it in good health. + +CARE OF THE BOTTLE.--If the child is fed on the bottle great care +should be taken in keeping it absolutely clean. Never use white +rubber nipples. A plain form of bottle with a black rubber nipple is +preferable. + +CHILDREN should not be permitted to come to the table until two years +of age. + +CHAFING.--One of the best remedies is powdered lycopodium; apply it +every time the babe is cleaned; but first wash with pure castile +soap; Pears' soap is also good. A preparation of oxide of zinc is also +highly recommended. Chafing sometimes results from an acid condition +of the stomach; in that case give a few doses of castoria. + +COLIC.--If an infant is seriously troubled with colic, there is nothing +better than camomile or catnip tea. Procure the leaves and make tea +and give it as warm as the babe can bear. + + + * * * * * + +FEEDING INFANTS. + + +1. The best food for infants is mother's milk; next best is cow's +milk. Cow's milk contains about three times as much curd and one-half +as much sugar, and it should be reduced with two parts of water. + +2. In feeding cow's milk there is too little cream and too little +sugar, and there is no doubt no better preparation than Mellin's food +to mix it with (according to directions). + +3. Children being fed on food lacking fat generally have their teeth +come late; their muscles will be flabby and bones soft. Children will +be too fat when their food contains too much sugar. Sugar always makes +their flesh soft and flabby. + +4. During the first two months the baby should be fed every two hours +during the day, and two or three times during the night, but no more. +Ten or eleven feedings for twenty-four hours are all a child will bear +and remain healthy. At three months the child may be fed every three +hours instead of every two. + +5. Children can be taught regular habits by being fed and put to sleep +at the same time every day and evening. Nervous diseases are caused by +irregular hours of sleep and diet, and the use of soothing medicines. + +6. A child five or six months old should not be fed during the night +from nine in the evening until six or seven in the morning, as +overfeeding causes most of the wakefulness and nervousness of children +during the night. + +7. If a child vomits soon after taking the bottle, and there is +an appearance of undigested food in the stool, it is a sign of +overfeeding. If a large part of the bottle has been vomited, avoid the +next bottle at regular time and pass over one bottle. If the child is +nursing the same principles apply. + +8. If a child empties its bottle and sucks vigorously its fingers +after the bottle is emptied, it is very evident that the child is not +fed enough, and should have its food gradually increased. + +9. Give the baby a little cold water several times a day. + + + * * * * * + +INFANTILE CONVULSIONS. + + +DEFINITION.--An infantile convulsion corresponds to a chill in an +adult, and is the most common brain affection among children. + +CAUSES.--Anything that irritates the nervous system may cause +convulsions in the child, as teething, indigestible food, worms, +dropsy of the brain, hereditary constitution, or they may be the +accompanying symptom in nearly all the acute diseases of children, or +when the eruption is suppressed in eruptive diseases. + +SYMPTOMS.--In case of convulsions of a child parents usually become +frightened, and very rarely do the things that should be done in +order to afford relief. The child, previous to the fit, is usually +irritable, and the twitching of the muscles of the face may be +noticed, or it may come on suddenly without warning. The child becomes +insensible, clenches its hands tightly, lips turn blue, and the eyes +become fixed, usually frothing from the mouth with head turned back. +The convulsion generally lasts two or three minutes; sometimes, +however, as long as ten or fifteen minutes, but rarely. + +REMEDY.--Give the child a warm bath and rub gently. Clothes wrung out +of cold water and applied to the lower and back part of the head and +plenty of fresh air will usually relieve the convulsion. Be sure and +loosen the clothing around the child's neck. After the convulsion is +over, give the child a few doses of potassic bromide, and an injection +of castor oil if the abdomen is swollen. Potassic bromide should be +kept in the house, to use in case of necessity. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: POOR CHILDREN FROM TENEMENT.] + + + * * * * * + +PAINS AND ILLS IN NURSING. + + +1. SORE NIPPLES.--If a lady, during the latter few months of her +pregnancy, where to adopt "means to harden the nipples," sore nipples +during the period of suckling would not be so prevalent as they are. + +2. CAUSE.--A sore nipple is frequently produced by the injudicious +custom of allowing the child to have the nipple almost constantly in +his mouth. Another frequent cause of a sore nipple is from the babe +having the canker. Another cause of a sore nipple is from the mother, +after the babe has been sucking, putting up the nipple wet. She, +therefore, ought always to dry the nipple, not by rubbing, but by +dabbing it with a soft cambric or lawn handkerchief, or with a piece +of soft linen rag one or the other of which ought always to be at hand +every time directly after the child has done sucking, and just before +applying any of the following powders or lotions to the nipple. + +3. REMEDIES.--One of the best remedies for a sore nipple is the +following powder: + + Take of Borax, one drachm; + Powdered Starch, seven drachms. + +Mix. A pinch of the powder to be frequently applied to the nipple. + +If the above does not cure, try Glycerine by applying it each time +after nursing. + +4. GATHERED BREAST.--A healthy woman with a well-developed breast and +a good nipple, scarcely, if ever, has a gathered bosom; it is the +delicate, the ill-developed breasted and worse-developed nippled lady +who usually suffers from this painful complaint. And why? The evil can +generally be traced to girlhood. If she be brought up luxuriously, her +health and her breasts are sure to be weakened, and thus to suffer, +more especially if the development of the bosoms and nipples has been +arrested and interfered with by tight stays and corsets. Why, the +nipple is by them drawn in, and retained on the level with the +breast countersunk as though it were of no consequence to her future +well-being, as though it were a thing of nought. + +5. TIGHT LACERS.--Tight lacers will have to pay the penalties of which +they little dream. Oh, the monstrous folly of such proceedings! When +will mothers awake from their lethargy? It is high time that they did +so! From the mother having "no nipple," the effects of tight lacing, +many a home has been made childless, the babe not being able to +procure its proper nourishment, and dying in consequence! It is a +frightful state of things! But fashion, unfortunately, blinds the eyes +and deafens the ears of its votaries! + +6. BAD BREAST.--A gathered bosom, or "bad breast," as it is sometimes +called, is more likely to occur after a first confinement and during +the first month. Great care, therefore, ought to be taken to avoid +such a misfortune. A gathered breast is frequently owing to the +carelessness of a mother in not covering her bosoms during the time +she is suckling. Too much attention cannot be paid to keeping the +breasts comfortably warm. This, during the act of nursing, should be +done by throwing either a shawl or a square of flannel over the neck, +shoulders, and bosoms. + +7. ANOTHER CAUSE.--Another cause of gathered breasts arises from a +mother sitting up in bed to suckle her babe. He ought to be accustomed +to take the bosom while she is lying down; if this habit is not at +first instituted, it will be difficult to adopt it afterwards. Good +habits may be taught a child from earliest babyhood. + +8. FAINTNESS.--When a nursing mother feels faint, she ought immediately +to lie down and take a little nourishment; a cup of tea with the yolk +of an egg beaten up in it, or a cup of warm milk, or some beef-tea, +any of which will answer the purpose extremely well. Brandy, or any +other spirit we would not recommend, as it would only cause, as soon +as the immediate effects of the stimulant had gone off, a greater +depression to ensue; not only so, but the frequent taking of brandy +might become a habit a necessity which would be a calamity deeply to +be deplored! + +9. STRONG PURGATIVES.--Strong purgatives during this period are highly +improper, as they are apt to give pain to the infant, as well as to +injure the mother. If it be absolutely necessary to give physic, the +mildest, such as a dose of castor oil, should be chosen. + +10. HABITUALLY COSTIVE.--When a lady who is nursing is habitually +costive, she ought to eat brown instead of white bread. This will, in +the majority of cases, enable her to do without an aperient. The brown +bread may be made with flour finely ground all one way; or by mixing +one part of bran and three parts of fine wheaten flour together, and +then making it in the usual way into bread. Treacle instead of butter, +on the brown bread increases its efficacy as an aperient; and raw +should be substituted for lump sugar in her tea. + +11. TO PREVENT CONSTIPATION.--Stewed prunes, or stewed French plums, +or stewed Normandy pippins, are excellent remedies to prevent +constipation. The patient ought to eat, every morning, a dozen or +fifteen of them. The best way to stew either prunes or French plums, +is the following: Put a pound of either prunes or French plums, and +two tablespoonfuls of raw sugar, into a brown jar; cover them with +water; put them into a slow oven, and stew them for three or four +hours. Both stewed rhubarb and stewed pears often act as mild and +gentle aperients. Muscatel raisins, eaten at dessert, will oftentimes +without medicine relieve the bowels. + +12. COLD WATER--A tumblerful of cold water, taken early every morning, +sometimes effectually relieves the bowels; indeed, few people know the +value of cold water as an aperient it is one of the best we possess, +and, unlike drug aperients, can never by any possibility do any harm. +An injection of warm water is one of the best ways to relieve the +bowels. + +13. WELL-COOKED VEGETABLES.--Although a nursing mother ought, more +especially if she be costive, to take a variety of well-cooked +vegetables, such as potatoes, asparagus, cauliflower, French beans, +spinach, stewed celery and turnips; she should avoid eating greens, +cabbages, and pickles, as they would be likely to affect the babe, and +might cause him to suffer from gripings, from pain, and "looseness" of +the bowels. + + +14. SUPERSEDE THE NECESSITY OF TAKING PHYSIC.--Let me again--for it +cannot be too urgently insisted upon--strongly advise a nursing +mother to use every means in the way of diet, etc., to supersede the +necessity of taking physic (opening medicine), as the repetition +of aperients injures, and that severely, both herself and child. +Moreover, the more opening medicine she swallows, the more she +requires; so that if she once gets into the habit of regularly +taking physic, the bowels will not act without them. What a miserable +existence to be always swallowing physic! + +[Illustration: HEALTHY YOUTH AND RIPE OLD AGE.] + + + * * * * * + +HOME LESSONS IN NURSING SICK CHILDREN. + + +1. MISMANAGEMENT.--Every doctor knows that a large share of the ills +to which infancy is subject are directly traceable to mismanagement. +Troubles of the digestive system are, for the most part due to errors, +either in the selection of the food or in the preparation of it. + +2. RESPIRATORY DISEASES.--Respiratory diseases or the diseases of the +throat and lungs have their origin, as a rule, in want of care and +judgment in matters of clothing, bathing and exposure to cold +and drafts. A child should always be dressed to suit the existing +temperature of the weather. + +3. NERVOUS DISEASES.--Nervous diseases are often aggravated if not +caused by over-stimulation of the brain, by irregular hours of sleep, +or by the use of "soothing" medicines, or eating indigestible food. + +4. SKIN AFFECTIONS.--Skin affections are generally due to want of +proper care of the skin, to improper clothing or feeding, or to +indiscriminate association with nurses and Children, who are the +carriers of contagious diseases. + +5. PERMANENT INJURY.--Permanent injury is often caused by lifting the +child by one hand, allowing it to fall, permitting it to play with +sharp instruments, etc. + +6. RULES AND PRINCIPLES.--Every mother should understand the rules and +principles of home nursing. Children are very tender plants and the +want of proper knowledge is often very disastrous if not fatal. Study +carefully and follow the principles and rules which are laid down in +the different parts of this work on nursing and cooking for the sick. + +7. WHAT A MOTHER SHOULD KNOW: + + I. INFANT FEEDING.--The care of milk, milk sterilization, care of + bottles, preparation of commonly employed infant foods, the general + principles of infant feeding, with rules as to quality and + frequency. + + II. BATHING.--The daily bath; the use of hot, cold and mustard + baths. + + III. HYGIENE OF THE SKIN. Care of the mouth, eyes and ears. + Ventilation, temperature, cleanliness, care of napkins, etc. + + IV. TRAINING OF CHILDREN in proper bodily habits. Simple means of + treatment in sickness, etc. + +8. THE CRY OF THE SICK CHILD.--The cry of the child is a language +by which the character of its suffering to some extent may be +ascertained. The manner in which the cry is uttered, or the pitch and +tone is generally a symptom of a certain kind of disease. + +9. STOMACHACHE.--The cry of the child in suffering with pain of the +stomach is loud, excitable and spasmodic. The legs are drawn up and as +the pain ceases, they are relaxed and the child sobs itself to sleep, +and rests until awakened again by pain. + +10. LUNG TROUBLE.--When a child is suffering with an affection of the +lungs or throat, it never cries loudly or continuously. A distress in +breathing causes a sort of subdued cry and low moaning. If there is +a slight cough it is generally a sign that there is some complication +with the lungs. + +11. DISEASE OF THE BRAIN.--In disease of the brain the cry is always +sharp, short and piercing. Drowsiness generally follows each spasm of +pain. + +12. FEVERS.--Children rarely cry when suffering with fever unless they +are disturbed. They should be handled very gently and spoken to in a +very quiet and tender tone of voice. + +13. THE CHAMBER OF THE SICK ROOM.--The room of the sick child should +be kept scrupulously clean. No noise should disturb the quiet and rest +of the child. If the weather is mild, plenty of fresh air should +be admitted; the temperature should be kept at about 70 degrees. A +thermometer should be kept in the room, and the air should be changed +several times during the day. This may be done with safety to the +child by covering it up with woolen blankets to protect it from draft, +while the windows and doors are opened. Fresh air often does more to +restore the sick child than the doctor's medicine. Take the best +room in the house. If necessary take the parlor, always make the room +pleasant for the sick. + +14. VISITORS.--Carefully avoid the conversation of visitors or the +loud and boisterous playing of children in the house. If there is much +noise about the house that cannot be avoided, it is a good plan to put +cotton in the ears of the patient. + +15. LIGHT IN THE ROOM.--Light has a tendency to produce nervous +irritability, consequently it is best to exclude as much daylight +as possible and keep the room in a sort of twilight until the child +begins to improve. Be careful to avoid any odor coming from a burning +lamp in the night. When the child begins to recover, give it plenty of +sunlight. After the child begins to get better let in all the sunlight +the windows will admit. Take a south room for the sick bed. + +16. SICKNESS IN SUMMER.--If the weather is very hot it is a good plan +to dampen the floors with cold water, or set several dishes of water +in the room, but be careful to keep the patient out of the draft, and +avoid any sudden change of temperature. + +17. BATHING.--Bathe every sick child in warm water once a day unless +prohibited by the doctor. If the child has a spasm or any attack of a +serious nervous character in absence of the doctor, place him in a hot +bath at once. Hot water is one of the finest agencies for the cure of +nervous diseases. + +[Illustration] + +18. SCARLET FEVER AND MEASLES.--Bathe the child in warm water to bring +out the rash, and put in about a dessertspoonsful of mustard into each +bath. + +19. DRINKS.--If a child is suffering with fevers, let it have all the +water it wants. Toast-water will be found nourishing. When the stomach +of the child is in an irritable condition, nourishments containing +milk or any other fluid should be given very sparingly. Barley-water +and rice-water are very soothing to an irritable stomach. + +20. FOOD.--Mellin's Food and milk is very nourishing if the child +will take it. Oatmeal gruel, white of eggs, etc. are excellent and +nourishing articles. See "How to cook for the Sick." + +21. EATING FRUIT.--Let children who are recovering from sickness eat +moderately of good fresh fruit. Never let a child, whether well or +sick, eat the skins of any kind of fruit. The outer covering of fruit +was not made to eat, and often has poisonous matter very injurious to +health upon its surface. Contagious and infectious diseases are often +communicated in that way. + +22. SUDDEN STARTINGS with the thumbs drawn into the palms, portend +trouble with the brain, and often end in convulsions, which are far +more serious in infants than in children. Convulsions in children +often result from a suppression of urine. If you have occasion to +believe that such is the case, get the patient to sweating as soon as +possible. Give it a hot bath, after which cover it up in bed and put +bags of hot salt over the lower part of the abdomen. + +23. SYMPTOMS OF INDIGESTION.--If the baby shows symptoms of +indigestion, do not begin giving it medicine. It is wiser to decrease +the quantity and quality of the food and let the little one omit one +meal entirely, that his stomach may rest. Avoid all starchy foods, +as the organs of digestion are not sufficiently developed to receive +them. + + +A TABLE FOR FEEDING A BABY ON MODIFIED MILK. + +2d week: +Top Milk 1-1/2 oz. +Milk Sugar 4 teaspoons +Barley Gruel 10 oz. +Cream 2-3/4 oz. +Lime Water 2 oz. +1-1/2 oz. at feeding +10 times a day + +3d week: +Top Milk 6 oz. +Milk Sugar 5-1/2 teaspoons +Barley Gruel 18 oz. +Lime Water 4 oz. +2 oz. at feeding +10 times a day + +4th to 8th week: +Top Milk 9 oz. +Milk Sugar 8 teaspoons +Barley Gruel to make a quart +Lime Water 4 oz. +3 oz. at feeding +8 times a day + +9th to 12th week: +Top Milk 11 oz. +Milk Sugar 7-1/2 teaspoons +Barley Gruel to make a quart +Lime Water 4 oz. +3 oz. at feeding +8 times a day + +4th month: +Top Milk 13 oz. +Milk Sugar 7 teaspoons +Barley Gruel to make a quart +Lime Water 4 oz. +3 to 4 oz. at feeding +7 times a day + +5th to 7th month: +Top Milk 15 oz. +Milk Sugar 6-1/2 teaspoons +Barley Gruel to make a quart +Lime Water 4 oz. +4 to 5 oz. at feeding +6 times a day + +7th to 9th month: +Top Milk 17 oz. +Milk Sugar 6 teaspoons +Barley Gruel to make a quart +Lime Water 4 oz. +6 to 7 oz. at feeding +6 times a day + +Top Milk--Let your quart of milk stand until the cream has risen, then +pour off number of ounces required. + +Sugar of Milk may be purchased at your local druggist's. + +Gruel is prepared by cooking one level tablespoon of any good barley +flour in a pint of water with a pinch of salt. When partly cooled add +to the milk. + + +NURSING. + +Period: 1st and 2d day +Nursing in 24 hours: 4 +Interval by day: 6 hrs. +Night nursings 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.: 1 + +Period: 3 days to 4 weeks +Nursing in 24 hours: 10 +Interval by day: 2 hrs. +Night nursings 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.: 1 + +Period: 4 weeks to 2 mo. +Nursing in 24 hours: 8 +Interval by day: 2-1/2 hrs. +Night nursings 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.: 1 + +Period: 2 to 5 mo. +Nursing in 24 hours: 7 +Interval by day: 3 hrs. +Night nursings 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.: 1 + +Period: 5 to 12 mo. +Nursing in 24 hours: 6 +Interval by day: 3 hrs. +Night nursings 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.: 0 + + +SCHEDULE FOR FEEDING HEALTHY INFANTS DURING FIRST YEAR + +Age: 2d to 7th day +Interval between meals by day: 2 hours +Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 1 +No. of feedings in 24 hours: 10 +Quantity for one feeding: 1 to 1-1/2 ounces +Quantity in 24 hours: 10 to 15 ounces + +Age: 2d and 3d week +Interval between meals by day: 2 hours +Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 1 +No. of feedings in 24 hours: 10 +Quantity for one feeding: 1-1/2 to 3 ounces +Quantity in 24 hours: 15 to 30 ounces + +Age: 4th and 5th weeks +Interval between meals by day: 2-1/2 hours +Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 1 +No. of feedings in 24 hours: 8 +Quantity for one feeding: 2-1/2 to 4 ounces +Quantity in 24 hours: 20 to 32 ounces + +Age: 6th to 9th week +Interval between meals by day: 2-1/2 hours +Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 1 +No. of feedings in 24 hours: 8 +Quantity for one feeding: 3 to 5 ounces +Quantity in 24 hours: 24 to 40 ounces + +Age: 9th week to 5th mo. +Interval between meals by day: 3 hours +Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 1 +No. of feedings in 24 hours: 7 +Quantity for one feeding: 4 to 6 ounces +Quantity in 24 hours: 28 to 42 ounces + +Age: 5th to 9th month +Interval between meals by day: 3 hours +Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 0 +No. of feedings in 24 hours: 6 +Quantity for one feeding: 5 to 7-1/2 ounces +Quantity in 24 hours: 30 to 45 ounces + +Age: 9th to 12th month +Interval between meals by day: 4 hours +Night feedings 10 p.m. to 7 a.m.: 0 +No. of feedings in 24 hours: 5 +Quantity for one feeding: 7 to 9 ounces +Quantity in 24 hours: 35 to 45 ounces + + +[Illustration: A delicate child should never be put into the bath, but +bathed on the lap and kept warmly covered.] + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO KEEP A BABY WELL. + + +1. The mother's milk is the natural food, and nothing can fully take +its place. + +2. The infant's stomach does not readily accommodate itself to changes +in diet; therefore, regularity in quality, quantity and temperature is +extremely necessary. + +3. Not until a child is a year old should it be allowed any food +except that of milk, and possibly a little cracker or bread, +thoroughly soaked and softened. + +4. Meat should never be given to very young children. The best +artificial food is cream, reduced and sweetened with sugar and milk. +No rule can be given for its reduction. Observation and experience +must teach that, because every child's stomach is governed by a rule +of its own. + +5. A child can be safely weaned at one year of age, and sometimes +less. It depends entirely upon the season, and upon the health of the +child. + +6. A child should never be weaned during the warm weather, in June, +July or August. + +7. When a child is weaned it may be given, in connection with the milk +diet, some such nourishment as broth, gruel, egg, or some prepared +food. + +8. A child should never be allowed to come to the table until two +years of age. + +9. A child should never eat much starchy food until four years old. + +10. A child should have all the water it desires to drink, but it is +decidedly the best to boil the water first, and allow it to cool. All +the impurities and disease germs are thereby destroyed. This one thing +alone will add greatly to the health and vigor of the child. + +11. Where there is a tendency to bowel disorder, a little gum arabic, +rice, or barley may be boiled with the drinking water. + +12. If the child uses a bottle it should be kept absolutely clean. +It is best to have two or three bottles, so that one will always be +perfectly clean and fresh. + +13. The nipple should be of black or pure rubber, and not of the white +or vulcanized rubber; it should fit over the top of the bottle. No +tubes should ever be used; it is impossible to keep them clean. + +14. When the rubber becomes coated, a little coarse salt will clean +it. + +15. Babies should be fed at regular times. They should also be put to +sleep at regular hours. Regularity is one of the best safeguards to +health. + +16. Milk for babies and children should be from healthy cows. Milk +from different cows varies, and it is always better for a child +to have milk from the same cow. A farrow cow's milk is preferable, +especially if the child is not very strong. + +17. Many of the prepared foods advertised for children are of little +benefit. A few may be good, but what is good for one child may not be +for another. So it must be simply a matter of experiment if any of the +advertised foods are used. + +18. It is a physiological fact that an infant is always healthier +and better to sleep alone. It gets better air and is not liable to +suffocation. + +19. A healthy child should never be fed in less than two hours from +the last time they finished before, gradually lengthening the time +as it grows older. At 4 months 3-1/2 or 4 hours; at 5 months a healthy +child will be better if given nothing in the night except, perhaps, a +little water. + +20. Give an infant a little water several times a day. + +21. A delicate child the first year should be oiled after each bath. +The oiling may often take the place of the bath, in case of a cold. + +22. In oiling a babe, use pure olive oil, and wipe off thoroughly +after each application. For nourishing a weak child use also olive +oil. + +23. For colds, coughs, croup, etc., use goose oil externally and give +a teaspoonful at bed-time. + +[Illustration: FOUND UPON THE DOORSTEP.] + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO PRESERVE THE HEALTH AND LIFE OF YOUR INFANT DURING HOT +WEATHER. + + +_BATHING._ + +1. Bathe infants daily in tepid water and even twice a day in hot +weather. + +If delicate they should be sponged instead of immersing them in water, +but cleanliness is absolutely necessary for the health of infants. + + +_CLOTHING._ + +2. Put no bands in their clothing, but make all garments to hang +loosely from the shoulders, and have all their clothing _scrupulously +clean_; even the diaper should not be re-used without rinsing. + + +_SLEEP ALONE._ + +3. The child should in all cases sleep by itself on a cot or in a crib +and retire at a regular hour. A child _always_ early taught to go to +sleep without rocking or nursing is the healthier and happier for it. +Begin _at birth_ and this will be easily accomplished. + + +_CORDIALS AND SOOTHING SYRUPS._ + +4. Never give cordials, soothing syrups, sleeping drops etc., without +the advice of a physician. A child that frets and does not sleep is +either hungry or ill. _If ill it needs a physician._ Never give candy +or cake to quiet a small child, they are sure to produce disorders of +the stomach, diarrhoea or some other trouble. + + +_FRESH AIR._ + +5. Children should have plenty of fresh air summer as well as winter. +Avoid the severe hot sun and the heated kitchen for infants in summer. +Heat is the great destroyer of infants. + + +_CLEAN HOUSES._ + +6. Keep your house clean and cool and well aired night and day. Your +cellars cleared of all rubbish and white-washed every spring, your +drains cleaned with strong solution of copperas or chloride of lime, +poured down them once a week. Keep your gutters and yards clean and +insist upon your neighbors doing the same. + + +_EVACUATIONS OF A CHILD._ + +The healthy motion varies from light orange yellow to greenish yellow, +in number, two to four times daily. Smell should never be offensive. +Slimy mucous-like jelly passages indicate worms. Pale green, +offensive, acrid motions indicate disordered stomach. Dark green +indicate acid secretions and a more serious trouble. + +Fetid dark brown stools are present in chronic diarrhoea Putty-like +pasty passages are due to aridity curdling the milk or to torpid +liver. + +[Illustration] + + +_BREAST MILK._ + +7. Breast milk is the only proper food for infants until after the +second summer. If the supply is small keep what you have and feed the +child in connection with it, for if the babe is ill this breast milk +may be all that will save its life. + + +_STERILIZED MILK._ + +8. Milk is the best food. Goat's milk best, cows milk next. If the +child thrives on this _nothing else_ should be given during the hot +weather, until the front teeth are cut. Get fresh cow's milk twice +a day if the child requires food in the night, pour it into a glass +fruit jar with one-third pure water for a child under three months +old, afterwards the proportion of water may be less and less, also a +trifle of sugar may be added. + +Then place the jar in a kettle or pan of cold water, like the bottom +of an oatmeal kettle. Leave the cover of the jar loose. Place it on +the stove and let the water come to a boil and boil ten minutes, screw +down the cover tight and boil ten minutes more, then remove from the +fire, and allow it to cool in the water slowly so as not to break +the jar. When partly cool put on the ice or in a cool place, and keep +tightly covered except when the milk is poured out for use. The glass +jar must be kept perfectly clean and washed and scalded carefully +before use. A tablespoonful of lime water to a bottle of milk will +aid indigestion. Discard the bottle as soon as possible and use a +cup which you know is clean, whereas a bottle must be kept in water +constantly when not in use, or the sour milk will make the child sick. +Use no tube for it is exceedingly hard to keep it clean, and if pure +milk cannot be had, condensed milk is admirable and does not need to +be sterilized as the above. + + +_DIET._ + +9. Never give babies under two years old such food if grown persons +eat. Their chief diet should be milk, wheat bread and milk, oatmeal, +possibly a little rare boiled egg, but always and chiefly milk. Germ +wheat is also excellent. + +[Illustration] + + +_EXERCISE._ + +10. Children should have exercise in the house as well as outdoors, +but should not be jolted and jumped and jarred in rough play, not +rudely rocked in the cradle, nor carelessly trundled over bumps in +their carriages. They should not be held too much in the arms, but +allowed to crawl and kick upon the floor and develop their limbs and +muscles. A child should not be lifted by its arms nor dragged along by +one hand after it learns to take a few feeble steps, but when they do +learn to walk steadily it is the best of all exercise, especially in +the open air. + +Let the children as they grow older romp and play in the open air all +they wish, girls as well as boys. Give the girls an even chance for +health, while they are young at least, and don't mind about their +complexion. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +INFANT TEETHING. + + +1. REMARKABLE INSTANCES.--There are instances where babies have been +born with teeth, and, on the other hand, there are cases of persons +who have never had any teeth at all; and others that had double teeth +all around in both upper and lower jaws, but these are rare instances, +and may be termed as a sort of freaks of nature. + +2. INFANT TEETHING.--The first teeth generally make their appearance +after the third month, and during the period of teething the child is +fretful and restless, causing sometimes constitutional disturbances, +such as diarrhoea, indigestion, etc. Usually, however, no serious +results follow, and no unnecessary anxiety need be felt, unless +the weather is extremely warm, then there is some danger of summer +complaint setting in and seriously complicating matters. + +3. THE NUMBER OF TEETH.--Teeth are generally cut in pairs and make +their appearance first in the front and going backwards until all are +complete. It generally takes about two years for a temporary set of +children's teeth. A child two or three years old should have twenty +teeth. After the age of seven they generally begin to loosen and fall +out and permanent teeth take their place. + +4. LANCING THE GUMS.--This is very rarely necessary. There are extreme +cases when the condition of the mouth and health of the child demand +a physician's lance, but this should not he resorted to, unless it +is absolutely necessary. When the gums are very much swollen and +the tooth is nearly through, the pains may be relieved by the mother +taking a thimble and pressing it down upon the tooth, the sharp edges +of the tooth will cut through the swollen flesh, and instant relief +will follow. A child in a few hours or a day will be perfectly happy +after a very severe and trying time of sickness. + +5. PERMANENT TEETH.--The teeth are firmly inserted in sockets of the +upper and lower jaw. The permanent teeth which follow the temporary +teeth, when complete, are sixteen in each jaw, or thirty-two in all. + +6. NAMES OF TEETH.--There are four incisors (front teeth), four +cuspids (eye teeth), four bicuspids (grinders), and four molars (large +grinders), in each jaw. Each tooth is divided into the crown, body, +and root. The crown is the grinding surface; the body--the part +projecting from the jaw--is the seat of sensation and nutrition; the +root is that portion of the tooth which is inserted in the alveolus. +The teeth are composed of dentine (ivory) and enamel. The ivory forms +the greater portion of the body and root, while the enamel covers the +exposed surface. The small white cords communicating with the teeth +are the nerves. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +HOME TREATMENT FOR THE DISEASES OF INFANTS AND CHILDREN. + + +1. Out of every 1000 persons that died during the year of 1912, 175 +did not reach one year of age, and 244 died under five years of age. + +What a fearful responsibility therefore rests upon the parents who +permit these hundreds of thousands of children to die annually. This +terrible mortality among children is undoubtedly largely the result +of ignorance as regarding to the proper care and treatment of sick +children. + +2. For very small children it is always best to use homoeopathic +remedies. + + +_COLIC._ + +1. Babies often suffer severely with colic. It is not considered +dangerous, but causes considerable suffering. + +2. Severe colic is usually the result of derangement of the liver in +the mother, or of her insufficient or improper nourishment, and it +occurs more frequently when the child is from two to five months old. +3. Let the mother eat chiefly barley, wheat and bread, rolled wheat, +graham bread, fish, milk, eggs and fruit. The latter may be freely +eaten, avoiding that which is very sour. + +4. A rubber bag or bottle filled with hot water put into a crib, +will keep the child, once quieted, asleep for hours. If a child is +suffering from colic, it should be thoroughly warmed and kept warm. + +5. Avoid giving opiates of any kind, such as cordials, Mrs. Winslow's +Soothing Syrup, "Mother's Friend," and various other patent medicines. +They injure the stomach and health of the child, instead of benefiting +it. + +6. REMEDIES.--A few tablespoonfuls of hot water will often allay a +severe attack of the colic. Catnip tea is also a good remedy. + +A drop of essence of peppermint in 6 or 7 teaspoonfuls of hot water +will give relief. + +If the stools are green and the child is very restless, give +chamomilla. + +If the child is suffering from constipation, and undigested curds of +milk appear in its faeces, and the child starts suddenly in its sleep, +give nux vomica. + +An injection of a few spoonfuls of hot water into the rectum with +a little asafoetida is an effective remedy, and will be good for an +adult. + + +_CONSTIPATION._ + +1. This is a very frequent ailment of infants. The first thing +necessary is for the mother to regulate her diet. + +2. If the child is nursed regularly and held out at the same time of +each day, it will seldom be troubled with this complaint. Give plenty +of _water_. Regularity of habit is the remedy. If this method fails, +use a soap suppository. Make it by paring a piece of white castile +soap round. It should be made about the size of a lead pencil, pointed +at the end. + +3. Avoid giving a baby drugs. Let the physician administer them if +necessary. + + +_DIARRHOEA._ + +Great care should be exercised by parents in checking the diarrhoea of +children. Many times serious diseases are brought on by parents being +too hasty in checking this disorder of the bowels. It is an infant's +first method of removing obstructions and overcoming derangements of +the system. + + +_SUMMER COMPLAINT._ + +1. Summer complaint is an irritation and inflammation of the lining +membranes of the intestines. This may often be caused by teething, +eating indigestible food, etc. + +2. If the discharges are only frequent and yellow and not accompanied +with pain, there is no cause for anxiety; but if the discharges +are green, soon becoming gray, brown and sometimes frothy, having +a mixture of phlegm, and sometimes containing food undigested, a +physician had better be summoned. + +3. For mild attacks the following treatment may be given: + +1) Keep the child perfectly quiet and keep the room well aired. + +2) Put a drop of tincture of camphor on a teaspoonful of sugar, +mix thoroughly; then add 6 teaspoonfuls of hot water and give a +teaspoonful of the mixture every ten minutes. This is indicated where +the discharges are watery, and where there is vomiting and coldness of +the feet and hands. Chamomilla is also an excellent remedy. Ipecac and +nux vomica may also be given. + +In giving homoeopathic remedies, give 5 or 6 pellets every 2 or 3 +hours. + +3) The diet should be wholesome and nourishing. + + +_FOR TEETHING._ + +If a child is suffering with swollen gums, is feverish, restless, and +starts in its sleep, give nux vomica. + + +WORMS. + + +_PIN WORMS._ + +Pin worms and round worms are the most common in children. They are +generally found in the lower bowels. + +SYMPTOMS.--Restlessness, itching about the anus in the fore part of +the evening, and worms in the faeces. + +TREATMENT.--Give with a syringe an injection of a tablespoonful of +linseed oil. Cleanliness is also very necessary. + + +_ROUND WORMS._ + +A round worm is from six to sixteen inches in length, resembling the +common earth worm. It inhabits generally the small intestines, but it +sometimes enters the stomach and is thrown up by vomiting. + +SYMPTOMS.--Distress, indigestion, swelling of the abdomen, grinding of +the teeth, restlessness, and sometimes convulsions. + +TREATMENT.--One teaspoonful of powdered wormseed mixed with a +sufficient quantity of molasses, or spread on bread and butter. + +Or, one grain of santonine every four hours for two or three +days, followed by a brisk cathartic. Wormwood tea is also highly +recommended. + + SWAIM'S VERMIFUGE. + 2 ounces wormseed, + 1-1/2 ounces valerian, + 1-1/2 ounces rhubarb, + 1-1/2 ounces pink-root, + 1-1/2 ounces white agaric. + +Boil in sufficient water to yield 3 quarts of decoction, and add to it +30 drops of oil of tansy and 45 drops of oil of cloves, dissolved in a +quart of rectified spirits. Dose, 1 teaspoonful at night. + + +_ANOTHER EXCELLENT VERMIFUGE._ + + Oil of wormseed, 1 ounce, + Oil of anise, 1 ounce, + Castor oil, 1 ounce, + Tinct. of myrrh, 2 drops, + Oil of turpentine, 10 drops. + +Mix thoroughly. + +Always shake well before using. + +Give 10 to 15 drops in cold coffee, once or twice a day. + +[Illustration] + + +HOW TO TREAT CROUP + +SPASMODIC AND TRUE. + + +_SPASMODIC CROUP._ + +DEFINITION.--A spasmodic closure of the glottis which interferes with +respiration. Comes on suddenly and usually at night, without much +warning. It is a purely nervous disease and may be caused by reflex +nervous irritation from undigested food in the stomach or bowels, +irritation of the gums in dentition, or from brain disorders. + +SYMPTOMS.--Child awakens suddenly at night with suspended respiration +or very difficult breathing. After a few respirations it cries out and +then falls asleep quietly, or the attack may last an hour or so, when +the face will become pale, veins in the neck become turgid and feet +and hands contract spasmodically. In mild cases the attacks will only +occur once during the night, but may recur on the following night. + +HOME TREATMENT.--During the paroxysm dashing cold water in the face +is a common remedy. To terminate the spasm and prevent its return give +teaspoonful doses of powdered alum. The syrup of squills is an old and +tried remedy; give in 15 to 30 drop doses and repeat every 10 minutes +till vomiting occurs. Seek out the cause if possible and remove it. It +commonly lies in some derangement of the digestive organs. + + +_TRUE CROUP._ + +DEFINITION.--This disease consists of an inflammation of the mucous +membrane of the upper air passages, particularly of the larynx with +the formation of a false membrane that obstructs the breathing. The +disease is most common in children between the ages of two and seven +years, but it may occur at any age. + +SYMPTOMS.--Usually there are symptoms of a cold for three or four days +previous to the attack. Marked hoarseness is observed in the evening +with a ringing metallic cough and some difficulty in breathing, which +increases and becomes somewhat paroxysmal till the face which was at +first flushed becomes pallid and ashy in hue. The efforts at breathing +become very great, and unless the child gets speedy relief it will die +of suffocation. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Patient should be kept in a moist warm atmosphere, +and cold water applied to the neck early in the attack. As soon as the +breathing seems difficult give a half to one teaspoonful of powdered +alum in honey to produce vomiting and apply the remedies suggested in +the treatment of diphtheria, as the two diseases are thought by many +to be identical. When the breathing becomes labored and face becomes +pallid, the condition is very serious and a physician should be called +without delay. + + +_SCARLET FEVER._ + +DEFINITION.--An eruptive contagious disease, brought about by direct +exposure to those having the disease, or by contact with clothing, +dishes, or other articles, used about the sick room. + +The clothing may be disinfected by heating to a temperature of 230 +[degrees] Fahrenheit or by dipping in boiling water before washing. + +Dogs and cats will also carry the disease and should be kept from the +house, and particularly from the sick room. + +SYMPTOMS.--Chilly sensations or a decided chill, fever, headache, +furred tongue, vomiting, sore throat, rapid pulse, hot dry skin and +more or less stupor. In from 6 to 18 hours a fine red rash appears +about the ears, neck and shoulders, which rapidly spreads to the +entire surface of the body. After a few days, a scurf or branny scales +will begin to form on the skin. These scales are the principal source +of contagion. + +HOME TREATMENT. + +1. Isolate the patient from other members of the family to prevent the +spread of the disease. + +2. Keep the patient in bed and give a fluid diet of milk gruel, beef +tea, etc., with plenty of cold water to drink. + +3. Control the fever by sponging the body with tepid water, and +relieve the pain in the throat by cold compresses, applied externally. + +4. As soon as the skin shows a tendency to become scaly, apply goose +grease or clean lard with a little boracic acid powder dusted in it, +or better, perhaps, carbolized vaseline to relieve the itching and +prevent the scales from being scattered about, and subjecting others +to the contagion. + +REGULAR TREATMENT.--A few drops of aconite every three hours to +regulate the pulse, and if the skin be pale and circulation feeble, +with tardy eruption, administer one to ten drops of tincture of +belladonna, according to the age of the patient. At the end of third +week, if eyes look puffy and feet swell, there is danger of Acute +Bright's disease, and a physician should be consulted. If the case +does not progress well under the home remedies suggested, a physician +should be called at once. + + +_WHOOPING COUGH._ + +DEFINITION.--This is a contagious disease which is known by a peculiar +whooping sound in the cough. Considerable mucus is thrown off after +each attack of spasmodic coughing. + +SYMPTOMS.--It usually commences with the symptoms of a common cold +in the head, some chilliness, feverishness, restlessness, headache, a +feeling of tightness across the chest, violent paroxysms of coughing, +sometimes almost threatening suffocation, and accompanied with +vomiting. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Patient should eat plain food and avoid cold drafts +and damp air, but keep in the open air as much as possible. A strong +tea made of the tops of red clover is highly recommended. A strong tea +made of chestnut leaves, sweetened with sugar, is also very good. + + 1 teaspoonful of powdered alum, + 1 teaspoonful of syrup. + +Mix in a tumbler of water, and give the child one teaspoonful every +two or three hours. A kerosene lamp kept burning in the bed chamber +at night is said to lessen the cough and shorten the course of the +disease. + + +_MUMPS._ + +DEFINITION.--This is a contagious disease causing the inflammation +of the salivary glands, and is generally a disease of childhood and +youth. + +SYMPTOMS.--A slight fever, stiffness of the neck and lower jaw, +swelling and soreness of the gland. It usually develops in four or +five days and then begins to disappear. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Apply to the swelling a hot poultice of cornmeal and +bread and milk. A hop poultice is also excellent. Take a good dose of +physic and rest carefully. A warm general bath, or mustard foot bath, +is very good. Avoid exposure or cold drafts. If a bad cold is taken, +serious results may follow. + + +_MEASLES._ + +DEFINITION.--It is an eruptive, contagious disease, preceded by cough +and other catarrhal symptoms for about four or five days. The eruption +comes rapidly in small red spots, which are slightly raised. + +SYMPTOMS.--A feeling of weakness, loss of appetite, some fever, cold +in the head, frequent sneezing, watery eyes, dry cough and a hot skin. +The disease takes effect nine or ten days after exposure. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Measles is not a dangerous disease in the child, +but in an adult it is often very serious. In childhood very little +medicine is necessary, but exposure must be carefully avoided, and +the patient kept in bed, in a moderately warm room. The diet should +be light and nourishing. Keep the room dark. If the eruption does not +come out promptly, apply hot baths. + +COMMON TREATMENT.--Two teaspoonfuls of spirits of nitre, one +teaspoonful paregoric, one wineglassful of camphor water. Mix +thoroughly, and give a teaspoonful in half a teacupful of water every +two hours. To relieve the cough, if troublesome, flax seed tea, or +infusion of slippery-elm bark, with a little lemon juice to render +more palatable, will be of benefit. + + +_CHICKEN POX._ + +DEFINITION.--This is a contagious, eruptive disease, which resembles +to some extent small-pox. The pointed vesicles or pimples have a +depression in the center in chicken-pox, and in small pox they do not. + +SYMPTOMS.--Nine to seventeen days elapse after the exposure, before +symptoms appear. Slight fever, a sense of sickness, the appearance of +scattered pimples, some itching and heat. The pimples rapidly change +into little blisters, filled with a watery fluid. After five or six +days they disappear. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Milk diet, and avoid all kinds of meat. Keep the +bowels open, and avoid all exposure to cold. Large vesicles on the +face should be punctured early and irritation by rubbing should be +avoided. + + +_HOME TREATMENT OF DIPHTHERIA._ + +DEFINITION.--Acute, specific, constitutional disease, with local +manifestations in the throat, mouth, nose, larynx, wind-pipe, and +glands of the neck. The disease is infectious but not very contagious +under the proper precautions. It is a disease of childhood, though +adults sometimes contract it. Many of the best physicians of the +day consider true or membranous croup to be due to this diphtheritic +membranous disease thus located in the larynx or trachea. + +SYMPTOMS.--Symptoms vary according to the severity of the attack. +Chills, fever, headache, languor, loss of appetite, stiffness of neck, +with tenderness about the angles of the jaw, soreness of the throat, +pain in the ear, aching of the limbs, loss of strength, coated tongue, +swelling of the neck, and offensive breath; lymphatic glands on side +of neck enlarged and tender. The throat is first to be seen red and +swollen, then covered with grayish white patches, which spread, and +a false membrane is found on the mucous membrane. If the nose is +attacked, there will be an offensive discharge, and the child will +breathe through the mouth. If the larynx or throat are involved, +the voice will become hoarse, and a croupy cough, with difficult +breathing, shows that the air passage to the lungs is being obstructed +by the false membrane. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Isolate the patient, to prevent the spread of the +disease. Diet should be of the most nutritious character, as milk, +eggs, broths, and oysters. Give at intervals of every two or three +hours. If patient refuses to swallow, from the pain caused by the +effort, a nutrition injection must be resorted to. Inhalations of +steam and hot water, and allowing the patient to suck pellets of ice, +will give relief. Sponges dipped in hot water, and applied to the +angles of the jaw, are beneficial. Inhalations of lime, made by +slaking freshly burnt lime in a vessel, and directing the vapor to the +child's mouth, by means of a newspaper, or similar contrivance. Flour +of sulphur, blown into the back of the mouth and throat by means of +a goose quill, has been highly recommended. Frequent gargling of the +throat and mouth, with a solution of lactic acid, strong enough to +taste sour, will help to keep the parts clean, and correct the +foul breath. If there is great prostration, with the nasal passage +affected, or hoarseness and difficult breathing, a physician should be +called at once. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +DISEASES OF WOMEN. + + +_DISORDERS OF THE MENSES._ + +1. SUPPRESSION OF, OR SCANTY MENSES. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Attention to the diet, and exercise in the open air +to promote the general health. Some bitter tonic, taken with fifteen +grains of dialyzed iron, well diluted, after meals, if patient is pale +and debilitated. A hot foot bath is often all that is necessary. + +2. PROFUSE MENSTRUATION. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Avoid highly seasoned food, and the use of spirituous +liquors; also excessive fatigue, either physical or mental. To check +the flow, patient should be kept quiet, and allowed to sip cinnamon +tea during the period. + +3. PAINFUL MENSTRUATION. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Often brought on by colds. Treat by warm hip baths, +hot drinks (avoiding spirituous liquors), and heat applied to the back +and extremities. A teaspoonful of the fluid extract of viburnum will +sometimes act like a charm. + + +_HOW TO CURE SWELLED AND SORE BREASTS._ + +Take and boil a quantity of chamomile, and apply the hot fomentations. +This dissolves the knot, and reduces the swelling and soreness. + + +_LEUCORRHEA OR WHITES._ + +HOME TREATMENT.--This disorder, if not arising from some abnormal +condition of the pelvic organs, can easily be cured by patient taking +the proper amount of exercise and good nutritious food, avoiding tea +and coffee. An injection every evening of one teaspoonful of Pond's +Extract in a cup of hot water, after first cleansing the vagina well +with a quart of warm water, is a simple but effective remedy. + + +_INFLAMMATION OF THE WOMB._ + +HOME TREATMENT.--When in the acute form this disease is ushered in +by a chill, followed by fever, and pain in the region of the womb. +Patient should be placed in bed, and a brisk purgative given, hot +poultices applied to the abdomen, and the feet and hands kept warm. If +the symptoms do not subside, a physician should be consulted. + + +_HYSTERIA._ + +DEFINITION.--A functional disorder of the nervous system of which it +is impossible to speak definitely; characterized by disturbance of +the reason, will, imagination, and emotions, with sometimes convulsive +attacks that resemble epilepsy. + +SYMPTOMS.--Fits of laughter, and tears without apparent cause; +emotions easily excited; mind often melancholy and depressed; +tenderness along the spine; disturbances, of digestion, with +hysterical convulsions, and other nervous phenomena. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Some healthy and pleasant employment should be urged +upon women afflicted with this disease. Men are also subject to it, +though not so frequently. Avoid excessive fatigue and mental worry; +also stimulants and opiates. Plenty of good food and fresh air will do +more good than drugs. + + + * * * * * + +FALLING OF THE WOMB. + + +CAUSES.--The displacement of the womb usually is the result of too +much childbearing, miscarriages, abortions, or the taking of strong +medicines to bring about menstruation. It may also be the result in +getting up too quickly from the childbed. There are, however, other +causes, such as a general breaking down of the health. + +SYMPTOMS.--If the womb has fallen forward it presses against the +bladder, causing the patient to urinate frequently. If the womb has +fallen back, it presses against the rectum, and constipation is the +result with often severe pain at stool. If the womb descends into +the vagina there is a feeling of heaviness. All forms of displacement +produce pain in the back, with an irregular and scanty menstrual flow +and a dull and exhausted feeling. + +HOME TREATMENT.--Improve the general health. Take some preparation of +cod-liver oil, hot injections (of a teaspoonful of powdered alum with +a pint of water), a daily sitz-bath, and a regular morning bath three +times a week will be found very beneficial. There, however, can be no +remedy unless the womb is first replaced to the proper position. +This must be done by a competent physician who should frequently be +consulted. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +MENSTRUATION. + + +1. ITS IMPORTANCE.--Menstruation plays a momentous part in the +female economy; indeed, unless it be in every way properly and duly +performed, it is neither possible that a lady can be well, nor is it +at all probable that she will conceive. The large number of barren, of +delicate, and of hysterical women there are in America arises mainly +from menstruation not being duly and properly performed. + +2. THE BOUNDARY-LINE.--Menstruation--"the periods"--the appearance of +the catamenia or the menses--is then one of the most important epochs +in a girl's life. It is the boundary-line, the landmark between +childhood and womanhood; it is the threshold, so to speak, of a +woman's life. Her body now develops and expands, and her mental +capacity enlarges and improves. + +3. THE COMMENCEMENT OF MENSTRUATION.--A good beginning at this time +is peculiarly necessary, or a girl's health is sure to suffer and +different organs of the body--her lungs, for instance, may become +imperiled. A healthy continuation, at regular periods, is also much +needed, or conception, when she is married, may not occur. Great +attention and skillful management is required to ward off many +formidable diseases, which at the close of menstruation--at "the +change of life"--are more likely than at any time to be developed. If +she marry when very young, marriage weakens her system, and prevents +a full development of her body. Moreover, such an one is, during the +progress of her labor, prone to convulsions--which is a very serious +childbed complication. + +4. EARLY MARRIAGES.--Statistics prove that twenty per cent--20 in +every 100--of females who marry are under age, and that such early +marriages are often followed by serious, and sometimes even by +fatal consequences to mother, to progeny, or to both. Parents ought, +therefore, to persuade their daughters not to marry until they are +of age--twenty-one; they should point out to them the risk and danger +likely to ensue if their advice be not followed; they should Impress +upon their minds the old adage: + + "Early wed, + Early dead." + +5. TIME TO MARRY.--Parents who have the real interest and happiness +of their daughters at heart, ought, in consonance with the laws of +physiology, to discountenance marriage before twenty; and the nearer +the girls arrive at the age of twenty-five before the consummation of +this important rite, the greater the probability that, physically and +morally, they will be protected against those risks which precocious +marriages bring in their train. + +6. FEEBLE PARENTS.--Feeble parents have generally feeble children; +diseased parents, diseased children; nervous parents, nervous +children;--"like begets like." It is sad to reflect, that the innocent +have to suffer, not only for the guilty, but for the thoughtless +and inconsiderate. Disease and debility are thus propagated from +one generation to another and the American race becomes woefully +deteriorated. + +7. TIME.--Menstruation in this country usually commences at the ages +of from thirteen to sixteen, sometimes earlier; occasionally as early +as eleven or twelve; at other times later, and not until a girl be +seventeen or eighteen years of age. Menstruation in large towns is +supposed to commence at an earlier period than in the country, and +earlier in luxurious than in simple life. + +8. CHARACTER.--The menstrual fluid is not exactly blood, although, +both in appearance and properties, it much resembles it; yet it never +in the healthy state clots as blood does. It is a secretion of +the womb, and, when healthy, ought to be of a bright red color in +appearance very much like the blood from a recently cut finger. The +menstrual fluid ought not, as before observed, clot. If it does, a +lady, during "her periods," suffers intense pain; moreover, she seldom +conceives until the clotting has ceased. + +9. MENSTRUATION DURING NURSING.--Some ladies, though comparatively +few, menstruate during nursing; when they do, it may be considered not +as the rule, but as the exception. It is said in such instances, +that they are more likely to conceive; and no doubt they are, as +menstruation is an indication of a proneness to conception. Many +persons have an idea that when a woman, during lactation, menstruates, +her milk is both sweeter and purer. Such is an error. Menstruation +during nursing is more likely to weaken the mother, and consequently +to deteriorate her milk, and thus make it less sweet and less pure. + +10. VIOLENT EXERCISE.--During "the monthly periods" violent exercise +is injurious; iced drinks and acid beverages are improper; and bathing +in the sea, and bathing the feet in cold water, and cold baths are +dangerous; indeed, at such times as these, no risks should be run, and +no experiments should, for the moment, be permitted, otherwise serious +consequences will, in all probability, ensue. + +11. THE PALE, COLORLESS-COMPLEXIONED.--The pale, colorless-complexioned, +helpless, listless, and almost lifeless young ladies who are so +constantly seen in society, usually owe their miserable state of +health to absent, to deficient, or to profuse menstruation. Their +breathing is short--they are soon "out of breath," if they attempt to +take exercise--to walk, for instance, either up stairs or up a hill, +or even for half a mile on level ground, their breath is nearly +exhausted--they pant as though they had been running quickly. They +are ready, after the slightest exertion or fatigue, and after the +least worry or excitement, to feel faint, and sometimes even to +actually swoon away. Now such cases may, if judiciously treated, be +generally soon cured. It therefore behooves mothers to seek medical +aid early for their girls, and that before irreparable mischief has +been done to the constitution. + +12. POVERTY OF BLOOD.--In a pale, delicate girl or wife, who is +laboring under what is popularly called poverty of blood, the +menstrual fluid is sometimes very scant, at others very copious, but +is, in either case, usually very pale--almost as colorless as water, +the patient being very nervous and even hysterical. Now, these are +signs of great debility; but, fortunately for such an one, a medical +man is, in the majority of cases, in possession of remedies that will +soon make her all right again. + +13. NO RIGHT TO MARRY.--A delicate girl has no right until she be made +strong, to marry. If she should marry, she will frequently, when in +labor, not have strength, unless she has help, to bring a child into +the world; which, provided she be healthy and well-formed, ought not +to be. How graphically the Bible tells of delicate women not having +strength to bring children into the world: "For the children are come +to the birth, and there is not strength to bring forth."--2 Kings XIX, +3. + +14. TOO SPARING.--Menstruation at another time is too sparing; this is +a frequent cause of sterility. Medical aid, in the majority of cases, +will be able to remedy the defect, and, by doing so, will probably +be the means of bringing the womb into a healthy state, and thus +predispose to conception. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +CELEBRATED PRESCRIPTIONS FOR ALL DISEASES AND HOW TO USE THEM. + + +VINEGAR FOR HIVES. + +After trying many remedies in a severe case of hives, Mr. Swain found +vinegar lotion gave instant relief, and subsequent trials in other +cases have been equally successful. One part of water to two parts of +vinegar is the strength most suitable. + + +THROAT TROUBLE. + +A teaspoonful of salt, in a cup of hot water makes a safe and +excellent gargle in most throat troubles. + + +FOR SWEATING FEET, WITH BAD ODOR. + +Wash the feet in warm water with borax, and if this don't cure, use +a solution of permanganate to destroy the fetor; about five grains to +each ounce of water. + + +AMENORRHOEA. + +The following is recommended as a reliable emmenagogue in many cases +of functional amenorrhoea: + + Bichloride of mercury, + Arsenite of sodium, aa gr. iij. + Sulphate of strychnine, gr. iss. + Carbonate of potassium, + Sulphate of iron, aa gr. xlv. + +Mix and divide into sixty pills. Sig. One pill after each meal. + + +SICK HEADACHE. + +Take a spoonful of finely powdered charcoal in a small glass of warm +water to relieve a sick headache. + +It absorbs the gasses produced by the fermentation of undigested food. + + +AN EXCELLENT EYE WASH. + + Acetate of zinc, 20 grains. + Acetate of morphia, 5 grains. + Rose water, 4 ounces. Mix. + + +FOR FILMS AND CATARACTS OF THE EYES. + + Blood Root Pulverized, 1 ounce. + Hog's lard, 3 ounces. + +Mix, simmer for 20 minutes, then strain; when cold put a little in the +eyes twice or three times a day. + + +FOR BURNS AND SORES. + + Pitch Burgundy, 2 pounds. + Bees' Wax, 1 pound. + Hog's lard, one pound. + +Mix all together and simmer over a slow fire until the whole are well +mixed together; then stir it until cold. Apply on muslin to the parts +affected. + + +FOR CHAPPED HANDS. + + Olive oil, 6 ounces. + Camphor beat fine, 1/2 ounce. + +Mix, dissolve by gentle heat over slow fire and when cold apply to the +hand freely. + + +INTOXICATION. + +A man who is helplessly intoxicated may almost immediately restore +the faculties and powers of locomotion by taking half a teaspoonful +of chloride of ammonium in a goblet of water. A wineglassful of strong +vinegar will have the same effect and is frequently resorted to by +drunken soldiers. + + +NERVOUS DISABILITY, HEADACHE, NEURALGIA, NERVOUSNESS. + + Fluid extract of scullcap, 1 ounce. + Fluid extract American valerian, 1 ounce. + Fluid extract catnip, 1 ounce. + +Mix all. Dose, from 15 to 30 drops every two hours, in water; most +valuable. + +A valuable tonic in all conditions of debility and want of appetite. + +Comp. tincture of cinchona in teaspoonful doses in a little water, +half hour before meals. + + +ANOTHER EXCELLENT TONIC + + Tincture of gentian, 1 ounce. + Tincture of Columba, 1 ounce. + Tincture of Collinsonia, 1 ounce. + +Mix all. Dose, one tablespoonful in one tablespoonful of water before +meals. + + +REMEDY FOR CHAPPED HANDS. + +When doing housework, if your hands become chapped or red, mix corn +meal and vinegar into a stiff paste and apply to the hands two or +three times a day, after washing them in hot water, then let dry +without wiping, and rub with glycerine. At night use cold cream, and +wear gloves. + + +BLEEDING. + +Very hot water is a prompt checker of bleeding, besides if it is +clean, as it should be, it aids in sterilizing our wound. + + +TREATMENT FOR CRAMP. + +Wherever friction can be conveniently applied, heat will be generated +by it, and the muscle again reduced to a natural condition; but if the +pains proceed from the contraction of some muscle located internally, +burnt brandy is an excellent remedy. + +A severe attack which will not yield to this simple treatment may be +conquered by administering a small dose of laudanum or ether, best +given under medical supervision. + + +TREATMENT FOR COLIC + +Castor oil, given as soon as the symptoms of colic manifest +themselves, has frequently afforded relief. At any rate, the +irritating substances must be expelled from the alimentary canal +before the pains will subside. All local remedies will be ineffectual, +and consequently the purgative should be given in large doses until a +copious vacuation is produced. + +[Illustration: THE DOCTOR'S VISIT.] + + +TREATMENT FOR HEARTBURN. + +If soda, taken in small quantities after meals, does not relieve +the distress, one may rest assured that the fluid is an alkali and +requires an acid treatment. Proceed, after eating, to squeeze ten +drops of lemon-juice into a small quantity of water, and swallow +it. The habit of daily life should be made to conform to the laws of +health, or local treatment will prove futile. + + +BILIOUSNESS. + +For biliousness, squeeze the juice of a lime or small lemon into half +a glass of cold water, then stir in a little baking soda and drink +while it foams. This receipt will also relieve sick headache if taken +at the beginning. + + +TURPENTINE APPLICATIONS. + +Mix turpentine and lard in equal parts. Warmed and rubbed on the +chest, it is a safe, reliable and mild counter irritant and revulsent +in minor lung complications. + + +TREATMENT FOR MUMPS. + +It is very important that the face and neck be kept warm. Avoid +catching cold, and regulate the stomach and bowels; because when +aggravated, this disease is communicated to other glands, and assumes +there a serious form. Rest and quiet, with a good condition of +the general health, will throw off this disease without further +inconvenience. + + +TREATMENT FOR FELON. + +All medication, such as poulticing, anointing, and the applications of +lotions, is but useless waste of time. The surgeon's knife should be +used as early as possible, for it will be required sooner or later and +the more promptly it can be applied, the less danger is there from the +disease, and the more agony is spared to the unfortunate victim. + + +TREATMENT FOR STABS. + +A wound made by thrusting a dagger or other oblong instrument into +the flesh, is best treated, if no artery has been severed, by applying +lint scraped from a linen cloth, which serves as an obstruction, +allowing and assisting coagulation. Meanwhile cold water should be +applied to the parts adjoining the wound. + + +TREATMENT FOR MASHED NAILS. + +If the injured member be plunged into very hot water the nail will +become pliable and adapt itself to the new condition of things, thus +alleviating agony to some extent. A small hole may be bored on the +nail with a pointed instrument, so adroitly as not to cause pain, yet +so successfully as to relieve pressure on the sensitive tissues. Free +applications of arnica or iodine will have an excellent effect. + + +TREATMENT FOR FOREIGN BODY IN THE EYE. + +When any foreign body enters the eye, close it instantly, and keep it +still until you have an opportunity to ask the assistance of some one; +then have the upper lid folded over a pencil and the exposed surfaces +closely searched; if the body be invisible, catch the everted lid by +the lashes, and drawing it down over the lower lid, suddenly release +it, and it will resume its natural position. Unsuccessful in this +attempt, you may be pretty well assured that the object has become +lodged in the tissues, and will require the assistance of a skilled +operator to remove it. + + +CUTS. + +A drop or two of creosote on a cut will stop its bleeding. + +TREATMENT FOR POISON OAK--POISON IVY--POISON SUMACH.--Mr. Charles +Morris, of Philadelphia, who has studied the subject closely, uses, as +a sovereign remedy, frequent bathing of the affected parts in water +as hot as can be borne. If used immediately after exposure, it may +prevent the eruption appearing. If later, it allays the itching, and +gradually dries up the swellings, though they are very stubborn after +they have once appeared. But an application every few hours keeps down +the intolerable itching, which is the most annoying feature of sumach +poisoning. In addition to this, the ordinary astringent ointments are +useful, as is also that sovereign lotion, "lead-water and laudanum." +Mr. Morris adds to these a preventive prescription of "wide-open +eyes." + +BITES AND STINGS OF INSECTS.--Wash with a solution of ammonia water. + +BITES OF MAD DOGS.--Apply caustic potash at once to the wound, and +give enough whiskey to cause sleep. + +BURNS.--Make a paste of common baking soda and water, and apply it +promptly to the burn. It will quickly check the pain and inflammation. + +COLD ON CHEST.--A flannel rag wrung out in boiling water and sprinkled +with turpentine, laid on the chest, gives the greatest relief. + +COUGH.--Boil one ounce of flaxseed in a pint of water, strain, and +add a little honey, one ounce of rock candy, and the juice of three +lemons. Mix and boil well. Drink as hot as possible. + +SPRAINED ANKLE OR WRIST.--Wash the ankle very frequently with cold +salt and water, which is far better than warm vinegar or decoction of +herbs. Keep the foot as cool as possible to prevent inflammation, and +sit with it elevated on a high cushion. Live on low diet, and take +every morning some cooling medicine, such as Epsom salts. It cures in +a few days. + +CHILBLAINS, SPRAINS, ETC.--One raw egg well beaten, half a pint of +vinegar, one ounce spirits of turpentine, a quarter of an ounce of +spirits of wine, a quarter of an ounce of camphor. These ingredients +to be beaten together, then put in a bottle and shaken for ten +minutes, after which, to be corked down tightly to exclude the air. In +half an hour it is fit for use. To be well rubbed in, two, three, or +four times a day. For rheumatism in the head, to be rubbed at the back +of the neck and behind the ears. In chilblains this remedy is to be +used before they are broken. + +HOW TO REMOVE SUPERFLUOUS HAIR.--Sulphuret of Arsenic, one ounce; +Quicklime, one ounce; Prepared Lard, one ounce; White Wax, one ounce. +Melt the Wax, add the Lard. When nearly cold, stir in the other +ingredients. Apply to the superfluous hair, allowing it to remain on +from five to ten minutes; use a table-knife to shave off the hair; +then wash with soap and warm water. + +DYSPEPSIA CURE.--Powdered Rhubarb, two drachms: Bicarbonate of Sodium, +six drachms; Fluid Extract of Gentian, three drachms; Peppermint +Water, seven and a half ounces. Mix them. Dose, a teaspoonful half an +hour before meals. + +FOR NEURALGIA.--Tincture of Belladonna, one ounce; Tincture of +Camphor, one ounce; Tincture of Arnica, one ounce; Tincture of Opium, +one ounce. Mix them. Apply over the seat of the pain, and give ten to +twenty drops in sweetened water every two hours. + +FOR COUGHS, COLDS, ETC.--Syrup of Morphia, three ounces; Syrup of Tar, +three and a half ounces; Chloroform, one troy ounce; Glycerine, one +troy ounce. Mix them. Dose, a teaspoonful three or four times a day. + +TO CURE HIVES.--Compound syrup of Squill, U.S., three ounces; Syrup of +Ipecac, U.S., one ounce. Mix them. Dose, a teaspoonful. + +TO CURE SICK HEADACHE.--Gather sumach leaves in the summer, and spread +them in the sun a few days to dry. Then powder them fine, and smoke, +morning and evening for two weeks, also whenever there are symptoms +of approaching headache. Use a new clay pipe. If these directions are +adhered to, this medicine will surely effect a permanent cure. + +WHOOPING COUGH.--Dissolve a scruple of salt of tartar in a gill of +water; add to it ten grains of cochineal; sweeten it with sugar. Give +to an infant a quarter teaspoonful four times a day; two years old, +one-half teaspoonful; from four years, a tablespoonful. Great care is +required in the administration of medicines to infants. We can assure +paternal inquirers that the foregoing may be depended upon. + +CUT OR BRUISE.--Apply the moist surface of the inside coating or skin +of the shell of a raw egg. It will adhere of itself, leave no scar, +and heal without pain. + +DISINFECTANT.--Chloride of lime should be scattered at least once a +week under sinks and wherever sewer gas is likely to penetrate. + +[Illustration: THE YOUNG DOCTOR.] + +COSTIVENESS.--Common charcoal is highly recommended for costiveness. +It may be taken in tea- or tablespoonful, or even larger doses, +according to the exigencies of the case, mixed with molasses, +repeating it as often as necessary. Bathe the bowels with pepper and +vinegar. Or take two ounces of rhubarb, add one ounce of rust of iron, +infuse in one quart of wine. Half a wineglassful every morning. +Or take pulverized blood root, one drachm, pulverized rhubarb, one +drachm, castile soap, two scruples. Mix and roll into thirty-two +pills. Take one, morning and night. By following these directions it +may perhaps save you from a severe attack of the piles, or some other +kindred disease. + +TO CURE DEAFNESS.--Obtain pure pickerel oil, and apply four drops +morning and evening to the ear. Great care should be taken to obtain +oil that is perfectly pure. + +DEAFNESS.--Take three drops of sheep's gall, warm and drop it into the +ear on going to bed. The ear must be syringed with warm soap and water +in the morning. The gall must be applied for three successive nights. +It is only efficacious when the deafness is produced by cold. The most +convenient way of warming the gall is by holding it in a silver spoon +over the flame of a light. The above remedy has been frequently tried +with perfect success. + +GOUT.--This is Col. Birch's recipe for rheumatic gout or acute +rheumatism, commonly called in England the "Chelsea Pensioner." Half +an ounce of nitre (saltpetre), half an ounce of sulphur, half an ounce +of flour of mustard, half an ounce of Turkey rhubarb, quarter of an +ounce of powdered guaicum. Mix, and take a teaspoonful every other +night for three nights, and omit three nights, in a wineglassful of +cold water which has been previously well boiled. + +RINGWORM.--The head is to be washed twice a day with soft soap and +warm soft water; when dried the places to be rubbed with a piece of +linen rag dipped in ammonia from gas tar; the patient should take a +little sulphur and molasses, or some other genuine aperient, every +morning; brushes and combs should be washed every day, and the ammonia +kept tightly corked. + +PILES.--Hamamelis, both internally or as an injection in rectum. Bathe +the parts with cold water or with astringent lotions, as alum water, +especially in bleeding piles. Ointment of gallic acid and calomel is +of repute. The best treatment of all is, suppositories of iodoform, +ergotine, of tannic acid, which can be made at any drug store. + +CHICKEN POX.--No medicine is usually needed, except a tea made +from pleurisy root, to make the child sweat. Milk diet is the best; +avoidance of animal food; careful attention to the bowels; keep cool +and avoid exposure to cold. + +SCARLET FEVER.--Cold water compress on the throat. Fats and oils +rubbed on hands and feet. The temperature of the room should be +about 68 degrees Fahr., and all draughts avoided. Mustard baths for +retrocession of the rash and to bring it out. Diet: ripe fruit, +toast, gruel, beef, tea and milk. Stimulants are useful to counteract +depression of the vital forces. + +FALSE MEASLES OR ROSE RASH.--It requires no treatment except hygienic. +Keep the bowels open. Nourishing diet, and if there is itching, +moisten the skin with five per cent. solution of aconite or solution +of starch and water. + +BILIOUS ATTACKS.--Drop doses of muriatic acid in a wine glass of water +every four hours, or the following prescription: Bicarbonate of soda, +one drachm; Aromatic spirits of ammonia, two drachms; Peppermint +water, four ounces. Dose: Take a teaspoonful every four hours. + +DIARRHOEA.--The following prescription is generally all that will be +necessary: acetate of lead, eight grains; gum arabic, two drachms; +acetate of morphia, one grain; and cinnamon water, eight ounces. Take +a teaspoonful every three hours. + +Be careful not to eat too much food. Some consider, the best treatment +is to fast, and it is a good suggestion. Patients should keep quiet +and have the room of a warm and even temperature. + +VOMITING.--Ice dissolved in the mouth, often cures vomiting when all +remedies fail. Much depends on the diet of persons liable to such +attacts; this should be easily digestible food, taken often and in +small quantities. Vomiting can often be arrested by applying a mustard +paste over the region of the stomach. It is not necessary to allow it +to remain until the parts are blistered, but it may be removed when +the part becomes thoroughly red, and reapplied if required after the +redness has disappeared. One of the secrets to relieve vomiting is to +give the stomach perfect rest, not allowing the patient even a glass +of water, as long as the tendency remains to throw it up again. + +NERVOUS HEADACHE.--Extract hyoscymus five grains, pulverized camphor +five grains. Mix. Make four pills, one to be taken when the pain is +most severe in nervous headache. Or three drops tincture nux vomica in +a spoonful of water, two or three times a day. + +BLEEDING FROM THE NOSE.--from whatever cause--may generally be stopped +by putting a plug of lint into the nostril; if this does not do, apply +a cold lotion to the forehead; raise the head and place both arms +over the head, so that it will rest on both hands; dip the lint plug, +slightly moistened, in some powdered gum arabic, and plug the nostrils +again; or dip the plug into equal parts of gum arabic and alum. An +easier and simpler method is to place a piece of writing paper on the +gums of the upper jaw, under the upper lip, and let it remain there +for a few minutes. + +BOILS.--These should be brought to a head by warm poultices of +camomile flowers, or boiled white lily root, or onion root, by +fermentation with hot water, or by stimulating plasters. When ripe +they should be destroyed by a needle or lancet. But this should not be +attempted until they are thoroughly proved. + +BUNIONS may be checked in their early development by binding the joint +with adhesive plaster, and keeping it on as long as any uneasiness is +felt. The bandaging should be perfect, and it might be well to extend +it round the foot An inflamed bunion should be poulticed, and larger +shoes be worn. Iodine 12 grains, lard or spermaceti ointment half an +ounce, makes a capital ointment for bunions. It should be rubbed on +gently twice or three times a day. + +FELONS.--One table-spoonful of red lead, and one tablespoonful of +castile soap, and mix them with as much weak lye as will make it soft +enough to spread like a salve, and apply it on the first appearance of +the felon, and it will cure in ten or twelve days. + +CARE FOR WARTS.--The easiest way to get rid of warts, is to pare off +the thickened skin which covers the prominent wart; cut it off by +successive layers and shave it until you come to the surface of the +skin, and till you draw blood in two or three places. Then rub the +part thoroughly over with lunar caustic, and one effective operation +of this kind will generally destroy the wart; if not, you cut off +the black spot which has been occasioned by the caustic, and apply it +again; or you may apply acetic acid, and thus you will get rid of it. +Care must be taken in applying these acids, not to rub them on the +skin around the wart. + +WENS.--Take the yoke of some eggs, beat up, and add as much fine salt +as will dissolve, and apply a plaster to the wen every ten hours. It +cures without pain or any other inconvenience. + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO CURE APOPLEXY, BAD BREATH AND QUINSY. + + +1. APOPLEXY.--Apoplexy occurs only in the corpulent or obese, and +those of gross or high living. + +_Treatment_--Raise the head to a nearly upright position; loosen all +tight clothes, strings, etc., and apply cold water to the head and +warm water and warm cloths to the feet. Have the apartment cool and +well ventilated. Give nothing by the mouth until the breathing is +relieved, and then only draughts of cold water. + +2. BAD BREATH.--Bad or foul breath will be removed by taking a +teaspoonful of the following mixture after each meal: One ounce +chloride of soda, one ounce liquor of potassa, one and one-half ounces +phosphate of soda, and three ounces of water. + +3. QUINSY.--This is an inflammation of the tonsils, or common +inflammatory sore throat; commences with a slight feverish attack, +with considerable pain and swelling of the tonsils, causing some +difficulty in swallowing; as the attack advances, these symptoms +become more intense, there is headache, thirst, a painful sense of +tension, and acute darting pains in the ears. The attack is generally +brought on by exposure to cold, and lasts from five to seven days, +when it subsides naturally, or an abscess may form in tonsils and +burst, or the tonsils may remain enlarged, the inflammation subsiding. + +_Home Treatment._--The patient should remain in a warm room, the diet +chiefly milk and good broths, some cooling laxative and diaphoretic +medicine may be given; but the greatest relief will be found in the +frequent inhalation of the steam of hot water through an inhaler, or +in the old-fashioned way through the spout of a teapot. + + + * * * * * + +SENSIBLE RULES FOR THE NURSE. + + +"Remember to be extremely neat in dress; a few drops of hartshorn in +the water used for _daily_ bathing will remove the disagreeable odors +of warmth and perspiration. + +"Never speak of the symptoms of your patient in his presence, +unless questioned by the doctor, whose orders you are always to obey +_implicitly_. + +"Remember never to be a gossip or tattler, and always to hold sacred +the knowledge which, to a certain extent, you must obtain of the +private affairs of your patient and the household in which you nurse. + +"Never contradict your patient, nor argue with him, nor let him see +that you are annoyed about anything. + +"Never _whisper_ in the sick room. If your patient be well enough, and +wishes you to talk to him, speak in a low, distinct voice, on cheerful +subjects. Don't relate painful hospital experiences, nor give details +of the maladies of former patients, and remember never to startle him +with accounts of dreadful crimes or accidents that you have read in +the newspapers. + +"_Write_ down the orders that the physician gives you as to time for +giving the medicines, food, etc. + +"Keep the room bright (unless the doctor orders it darkened). + +"Let the air of the room be as pure as possible, and keep everything +in order, but without being fussy and bustling. + +"The only way to remove dust in a sick room is to wipe everything with +a damp cloth. + +"Remember to carry out all vessels covered. Empty and wash them +immediately, and keep some disinfectant in them. + +"Remember that to leave the patient's untasted food by his side, from +meal to meal, in hopes that he will eat it in the interval, is simply +to prevent him from taking any food at all. + +"Medicines, beef tea or stimulants, should never be kept where the +patient can see them or smell them. + +"Light-colored clothing should be worn by those who have the care of +the sick, in preference to dark-colored apparel; particularly if the +disease is of a contagious nature. Experiments have shown that black +and other dark colors will absorb more readily the subtle effluvia +that emanates from sick persons than white or light colors." + + + * * * * * + +LONGEVITY. + + +The following table exhibits very recent mortality statistics, showing +the average duration of life among persons of various classes: + + Employment. Years. + + Judges 65 + Farmers 64 + Bank Officers 64 + Coopers 58 + Public Officers 57 + Clergymen 56 + Shipwrights 55 + Hatters 54 + Lawyers 54 + Rope Makers 54 + Blacksmiths 51 + Merchants 51 + Calico Printers 51 + Physicians 51 + Butchers 50 + Carpenters 49 + Masons 48 + Traders 46 + Tailors 44 + Jewelers 44 + Manufacturers 43 + Bakers 43 + Painters 43 + Shoemakers 43 + Mechanics 43 + Editors 40 + Musicians 39 + Printers 38 + Machinists 36 + Teachers 34 + Clerks 34 + Operatives 32 + +"It will be easily seen, by these figures, how a quiet or tranquil +life affects longevity. The phlegmatic man will live longer, all other +things being equal, than the sanguine, nervous individual. Marriage +is favorable to longevity, and it has also been ascertained that women +live longer than men." + +[Illustration: HOT WATER THROAT BAG.] + +[Illustration: HOT WATER BAG.] + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO APPLY AND USE HOT WATER IN ALL DISEASES. + + +1. THE HOT WATER THROAT BAG. The hot water throat bag is made +from fine white rubber fastened to the head by a rubber band (see +illustration), and is an unfailing remedy for catarrh, hay fever, +cold, toothache, headache, earache, neuralgia, etc. + +2. THE HOT WATER BOTTLE. No well regulated house should be without a +hot water bottle. It is excellent in the application of hot water for +inflammations, colic, headache, congestion, cold feet, rheumatism, +sprains, etc., etc. It is an excellent warming pan and an excellent +feet and hand warmer when riding. These hot water bags in any variety +can be purchased at any drug store. + +3. Boiling water may be used in the bags and the heat will be retained +many hours. They are soft and pliable and pleasant to the touch, and +can be adjusted to any part of the body. + +4. Hot water is good for constipation, torpid liver and relieves colic +and flatulence, and is of special value. + +5. _Caution._ When hot water bags or any hot fomentation is removed, +replace dry flannel and bathe parts in tepid water and rub till dry. + +6. By inflammations it is best to use hot water and then cold water. +It seems to give more immediate relief. Hot water is a much better +remedy than drugs, paragoric, Dover's powder or morphine. Always avoid +the use of strong poisonous drugs when possible. + +7. Those who suffer from cold feet there is no better remedy than +to bathe the feet in cold water before retiring and then place a hot +water bottle in the bed at the feet. A few weeks of such treatment +results in relief if not cure of the most obstinate case. + + +HOW TO USE COLD WATER. + +Use a compress of cold water for acute or chronic inflammation, such +as sore throat, bronchitis, croup, inflammation of the lungs, etc. If +there is a hot and aching pain in the back apply a compress of cold +water on the same, or it may simply be placed across the back or +around the body. The most depends upon the condition of the patient. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +PRACTICAL RULES FOR BATHING. + +1. Bathe at least once a week all over, thoroughly. No one can +preserve his health by neglecting personal cleanliness. Remember, +"Cleanliness is akin to Godliness." + +2. Only mild soap should be used in bathing the body. + +3. Wipe quickly and dry the body thoroughly with a moderately coarse +towel. Rub the skin vigorously. + +4. Many people have contracted severe and fatal diseases by neglecting +to take proper care of the body after bathing. + +5. If you get up a good reaction by thorough rubbing in a mild +temperature, the effect is always good. + +6. Never go into a cold room, or allow cold air to enter the room +until you are dressed. + +7. Bathing in cold rooms and in cold water is positively injurious, +unless the person possesses a very strong and vigorous constitution, +and then there is great danger of laying the foundation of some +serious disease. + +8. Never bathe within two hours after eating. It injures digestion. + +9. Never bathe when the body or mind is much exhausted. It is liable +to check the healthful circulation. + +10. A good time for bathing is just before retiring. The morning hour +is a good time also, if a warm room and warm water can be secured. + +11. Never bathe a fresh wound or broken skin with cold water; the +wound absorbs water, and causes swelling and irritation. + +12. A person not robust should be very careful in bathing; great care +should be exercised to avoid any chilling effects. + + + * * * * * + +ALL THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF BATHS, AND HOW TO PREPARE THEM. + + +THE SULPHUR BATH. + +For the itch, ringworm, itching, and for other slight irritations, +bathe in water containing a little sulphur. + + +THE SALT BATH. + +To open the pores of the skin, put a little common salt into the +water. Borax, baking soda or lime used in the same way are excellent +for cooling and cleansing the skin. A very small quantity in a bowl of +water is sufficient. + + +THE VAPOR BATH. + +1. For catarrh, bronchitis, pleurisy, inflammation of the lungs, +rheumatism, fever, affections of the bowels and kidneys, and skin +diseases, the vapor-bath is an excellent remedy. + +2. APPARATUS.--Use a small alcohol lamp, and place over it a small +dish containing water. Light the lamp and allow the water to boil. +Place a cane bottom chair over the lamp, and seat the patient on +it. Wrap blankets or quilts around the chair and around the patient, +closing it tightly about the neck. After free perspiration is produced +the patient should be wrapped in warm blankets, and placed in bed, so +as to continue the perspiration for some time. + +3. A convenient alcohol lamp may be made by taking a tin box, placing +a tube in it, and putting in a common lamp wick. Any tinner can make +one in a few minutes, at a trifling cost. + + +THE HOT-AIR BATH. + +1. Place the alcohol lamp under the chair, without the dish of water. +Then place the patient on the chair, as in the vapor bath, and let him +remain until a gentle and free perspiration is produced. This bath may +be taken from time to time, as may be deemed necessary. + +2. While remaining in the hot-air bath the patient may drink freely of +cold or tepid water. + +3. As soon as the bath is over the patient should be washed with hot +water and soap. + +4. The hot-air bath is excellent for colds, skin diseases, and the +gout. + + +THE SPONGE BATH. + +1. Have a large basin of water of the temperature of 85 or 95 degrees. +As soon as the patient rises rub the body over with a soft, dry towel +until it becomes warm. + +2. Now sponge the body with water and a little soap, at the same time +keeping the body well covered, except such portions as are necessarily +exposed. Then dry the skin carefully with a soft, warm towel. Rub the +skin well for two or three minutes, until every part becomes red and +perfectly dry. + +3. Sulphur, lime or salt, and sometimes mustard, may be used in any of +the sponge baths, according to the disease. + + +THE FOOT BATH. + +1. The foot bath, in coughs, colds, asthma, headaches and fevers, +is excellent. One or two tablespoonfuls of ground mustard added to a +gallon of hot water, is very beneficial. + +2. Heat the water as hot as the patient can endure it, and gradually +increase the temperature by pouring in additional quantities of hot +water during the bath. + + +THE SITZ BATH. + +A tub is arranged so that the patient can sit down in it while +bathing. Fill the tub about one-half full of water. This is an +excellent remedy for piles, constipation, headache, gravel, and for +acute and inflammatory affections generally. + + +THE ACID BATH. + +Place a little vinegar in water, and heat to the usual temperature. +This is an excellent remedy for the disorders of the liver. + + +A SURE CURE FOR PRICKLY HEAT. + +1. Prickly heat is caused by hot weather, by excess of flesh, by rough +flannels, by sudden changes of temperature, or by over-fatigue. + +2. TREATMENT--Bathe two or three times a day with warm water, in which +a moderate quantity of bran and common soda has been stirred. After +wiping the skin dry, dust the affected parts with common cornstarch. + + + * * * * * + +DIGESTIBILITY OF FOOD. + + +ARTICLE OF FOOD; CONDITION; HOURS REQUIRED + + Rice; Boiled; 1.00 + Eggs, whipped; Raw; 1.30 + Trout, salmon, fresh; Boiled; 1.30 + Apples, sweet and mellow; Raw; 1.30 + Venison steak; Broiled; 1.35 + Tapioca; Boiled; 2.00 + Barley; Boiled; 2.00 + Milk; Boiled; 2.00 + Bullock's liver, fresh; Broiled; 2.00 + Fresh eggs; Raw; 2.00 + Codfish, cured and dry; Boiled; 2.00 + Milk; Raw; 2.15 + Wild turkey; Roasted; 2.15 + Domestic turkey; Roasted; 2.30; + Goose; Roasted; 2.30 + Suckling pig; Roasted; 2.30 + Fresh Lamb; Broiled; 2.30 + Hash, meat and vegetables; Warmed; 2.30 + Beans and pod; Boiled; 2.30 + Parsnips; Boiled; 2.30 + Irish potatoes; Roasted; 2.30 + Chicken; Fricassee; 2.45 + Custard; Baked; 2.45 + Salt beef; Boiled; 2.45 + Sour and hard apples; Raw; 2.50 + Fresh oysters; Raw; 2.55 + Fresh eggs; Soft Boiled; 3.00 + Beef, fresh, lean and rare; Roasted; 3.00 + Beef steak; Broiled; 3.00 + Pork, recently salted; Stewed; 3.00 + Fresh mutton; Boiled; 3.00 + Soup, beans; Boiled; 3.00 + Soup, chicken; Boiled; 3.00 + Apple dumpling; Boiled; 3.00 + Fresh oysters; Roasted; 3.15 + Pork steak; Broiled; 3.15 + Fresh mutton; Roasted; 3.15 + Corn bread; Baked; 3.15 + Carrots; Boiled; 3.15 + Fresh sausage; Broiled; 3.20 + Fresh flounder; Fried; 3.30 + Fresh catfish; Fried; 3.30 + Fresh oysters; Stewed; 3.30 + Butter; Melted; 3.30 + Old, strong cheese; Raw; 3.30 + Mutton soup; Boiled; 3.30 + Oyster soup; Boiled; 3.30 + Fresh wheat bread; Baked; 3.30 + Flat turnips; Boiled; 3.30 + Irish potatoes; Boiled; 3.30 + Fresh eggs; Hard boiled; 3.30 + Fresh eggs; Fried; 3.30 + Green corn and beans; Boiled; 3.45 + Beets, Boiled; 3.45 + Fresh, lean beef; Fried; 4.00 + Fresh veal; Broiled; 4.00 + Domestic fowls; Roasted; 4.00 + Ducks, Roasted; 4.00 + Beef soup, vegetables and bread Boiled; 4.00 + Pork, recently salted; Boiled; 4.30 + Fresh veal; Fried; 4.30 + Cabbage, with vinegar; Boiled; 4.30 + Pork, fat and lean; Roasted; 5.30 + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO COOK FOR THE SICK. + +Useful Dietetic Recipes. + + +GRUELS. + +1. OATMEAL GRUEL.--Stir two tablespoonfuls of coarse oatmeal into +a quart of boiling water, and let it simmer two hours. Strain, if +preferred. + +2. BEEF TEA AND OATMEAL.--Beat two tablespoonfuls of fine oatmeal, +with two tablespoonfuls of cold water until very smooth, then add a +pint of hot beef tea. Boil together six or eight minutes, stirring +constantly. Strain through a fine sieve. + +3. MILK GRUEL.--Into a pint of scalding milk stir two tablespoonfuls +of fine oatmeal. Add a pint of boiling water, and boil until the meal +is thoroughly cooked. + +4. MILK PORRIDGE.--Place over the fire equal parts of milk and water. +Just before it boils, add a small quantity (a tablespoonful to a pint +of water) of graham flour or cornmeal, previously mixed with water, +and boil three minutes. + +5. SAGO GRUEL.--Take two tablespoonfuls of sago and place them in a +small saucepan, moisten gradually with a little cold water. Set the +preparation on a slow fire, and keep stirring till it becomes rather +stiff and clear. Add a little grated nutmeg and sugar to taste; if +preferred, half a pat of butter may also be added with the sugar. + +6. CREAM GRUEL.--Put a pint and a half of water on the stove in a +saucepan. Take one tablespoon of flour and the same of cornmeal, mix +this with cold water, and as soon as the water in the saucepan boils, +stir it in slowly. Let it boil slowly about twenty minutes, stirring +constantly then add a little salt and a gill of sweet cream. Do not +let it boil after putting in the cream, but turn into a bowl and cover +tightly. Serve in a pretty cup and saucer. + + +DRINKS. + +1. APPLE WATER.--Cut two large apples into slices and pour a quart of +boiling water on them, or on roasted apples; strain in two or three +hours and sweeten slightly. + +2. ORANGEADE.--Take the thin peel of two oranges and of one lemon; add +water and sugar the same as for hot lemonade. When cold add the juice +of four or five oranges and one lemon and strain off. + +3. HOT LEMONADE.--Take two thin slices and the juice of one lemon; mix +with two tablespoonfuls of granulated sugar, and add one-half pint of +boiling water. + +4. FLAXSEED LEMONADE.--Two tablespoonfuls of whole flaxseed to a pint +of boiling water, let it steep three hours, strain when cool and add +the juice of two lemons and two tablespoonfuls of honey. If too thick, +put in cold water. Splendid for colds and suppression of urine. + +5. JELLY WATER.--Sour jellies dissolved in water make a pleasant drink +for fever patients. + +6. TOAST WATER.--Toast several thin pieces of bread a slice deep +brown, but do not blacken or burn. Break into small pieces and put +into a jar. Pour over the pieces a quart of boiling water; cover the +jar and let it stand an hour before using. Strain if desired. + +7. WHITE OF EGG AND MILK.--The white of an egg beaten to a stiff +froth, and stirred very quickly into a glass of milk, is a very +nourishing food for persons whose digestion is weak, also for children +who cannot digest milk alone. + +8. EGG COCOA.--One-half teaspoon cocoa with enough hot water to make +a paste. Take one egg, beat white and yolk separately. Stir into a cup +of milk heated to nearly boiling. Sweeten if desired. Very nourishing. + +9. EGG LEMONADE.--White of one egg, one tablespoonful pulverized +sugar, juice of one lemon and one goblet of water. Beat together. Very +grateful in inflammation of of lungs, stomach or bowels. + +10. BEEF TEA.--For every quart of tea desired use one pound of +fresh beef, from which all fat, bones and sinews have been carefully +removed; cut the beef into pieces a quarter of an inch thick and mix +with a pint of cold water. Let it stand an hour, then pour into a +glass fruit can and place in a vessel of water; let it heat on the +stove another hour, but do not let it boil. Strain before using. + + +JELLIES. + +1. SAGO JELLY.--Simmer gently in a pint of water two tablespoonfuls +of sago until it thickens, frequently stirring. A little sugar may be +added if desired. + +2. CHICKEN JELLY.--Take half a raw chicken, tie in a coarse cloth and +pound, till well mashed, bones and meat together. Place the mass in +a covered dish with water sufficient to cover it well. Allow it to +simmer slowly till the liquor is reduced about one-half and the meat +is thoroughly cooked. Press through a fine sieve or cloth, and salt +to taste. Place on the stove to simmer about five minutes When cold +remove all particles of grease. + +3. MULLED JELLY.--Take one tablespoonful of currant or grape jelly; +beat it with the white of one egg and a little loaf sugar; pour on it +one-half pint of boiling water and break in a slice of dry toast or +two crackers. + +4. BREAD JELLY.--Pour boiling water over bread crumbs place the mixture +on the fire and let it boil until it is perfectly smooth. Take it off, +and after pouring off the water, flavor with something agreeable, as +a little raspberry or currant jelly water. Pour into a mold until +required for use. + +5. LEMON JELLY.--Moisten two tablespoonfuls of cornstarch, stir into +one pint boiling water; add the juice of two lemons and one-half cup +of sugar. Grate in a little of the rind. Put in molds to cool. + + +MISCELLANEOUS. + +1. TO COOK RICE.--Take two cups of rice and one and one-half pints of +milk. Place in a covered dish and steam in a kettle of boiling water +until it is cooked through, pour into cups and let it stand until +cold. Serve with cream. + +2. RICE OMELET.--Two cups boiled rice, one cup sweet milk, two eggs. +Stir together with egg beater, and put into a hot buttered skillet. +Cook slowly ten minutes, stirring frequently. + +3. BROWNED RICE.--Parch or brown rice slowly. Steep in milk for two +hours. The rice or the milk only is excellent in summer complaint. + +4. STEWED OYSTERS.--Take one pint of milk, one cup of water, a +teaspoon of salt; when boiling put in one pint of bulk oysters. Stir +occasionally and remove from the stove before it boils. An oyster +should not be shriveled in cooking. + +5. BROILED OYSTERS.--Put large oysters on a wire toaster Hold over hot +coals until heated through. Serve on toast moistened with cream. Very +grateful in convalescence. + +6. OYSTER TOAST.--Pour stewed oysters over graham or bread toasted. +Excellent for breakfast. + +7. GRAHAM CRISPS.--Mix graham flour and cold water into a very +stiff dough. Knead, roll very thin, and bake quickly in a hot oven. +Excellent food for dyspeptics. + +8. APPLE SNOW.--Take seven apples, not very sweet ones, and bake till +soft and brown. Then remove the skins and cores; when cool, beat them +smooth and fine; add one-half cup of granulated sugar and the white +of one egg. Beat till the mixture will hold on your spoon. Serve with +soft custard. + +9. EGGS ON TOAST.--Soften brown bread toast with hot water, put on a +platter and cover with poached or scrambled eggs. + +10. BOILED EGGS.--An egg should never be boiled. Place in boiling +water and set back on the stove for from seven to ten minutes. A +little experience will enable anyone to do it successfully. + +11. CRACKED WHEAT PUDDING.--In a deep two-quart pudding dish put +layers of cold, cooked, cracked wheat, and tart apples sliced thin, +with four tablespoonfuls of sugar. Raisins can be added if preferred. +Fill the dish, having the wheat last, add a cup of cold water. Bake +two hours. + +12. PIE FOR DYSPEPTICS.--Four tablespoonfuls of oatmeal, one pint of +water; let stand for a few hours, or until the meal is swelled. Then +add two large apples, pared and sliced, a little salt, one cup of +sugar, one tablespoonful of flour. Mix all well together and bake in +a buttered dish; makes a most delicious pie, which can be eaten with +safety by the sick or well. + +13. APPLE TAPIOCA PUDDING.--Soak a teacup of tapioca in a quart of +warm water three hours. Cut in thin slices six tart apples, stir them +lightly with the tapioca, add half cup sugar. Bake three hours. To be +eaten with whipped cream. Good either warm or cold. + +14. GRAHAM MUFFINS.--Take one pint of new milk, one pint graham or +entire wheat flour; stir together and add one beaten egg. Can be baked +in any kind of gem pans or muffin rings. Salt must not be used with +any bread that is made light with egg. + +15. STRAWBERRY DESSERT.--Place alternate layers of hot cooked cracked +wheat and strawberries in a deep dish; when cold, turn out on platter; +cut in slices and serve with cream and sugar, or strawberry juice. Wet +the molds with cold water before using. This, molded in small cups, +makes a dainty dish for the sick. Wheatlet can be used in the same +way. + +16. FRUIT BLANC MANGE.--One quart of juice of strawberries, cherries, +grapes or other juicy fruit; one cup water. When boiling, add two +tablespoonfuls sugar and four tablespoonfuls cornstarch wet in cold +water; let boil five or six minutes, then mold in small cups. Serve +without sauce, or with cream or boiled custard. Lemon juice can be +used the same, only requiring more water. This is a very valuable dish +for convalescents and pregnant women, when the stomach rejects solid +food. + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +SAVE THE GIRLS. + + +1. PUBLIC BALLS.--The church should turn its face like flint against +the public ball. Its influence is evil, and nothing but evil. It is +a well known fact that in all cities and large towns the ball room is +the recruiting office for prostitution. + +2. THOUGHTLESS YOUNG WOMEN.--In cities public balls are given every +night, and many thoughtless young women, mostly the daughters of small +tradesmen and mechanics, or clerks or laborers, are induced to attend +"just for fun." Scarcely one in a hundred of the girls attending these +balls preserve their purity. They meet the most desperate characters, +professional gamblers, criminals and the lowest debauchees. Such +an assembly and such influence cannot mean anything but ruin for an +innocent girl. + +3. VILE WOMEN.--The public ball is always a resort of vile women who +picture to innocent girls the ease and luxury of a harlot's life, and +offer them all manner of temptations to abandon the paths of virtue. +The public ball is the resort of the libertine and the adulterer, and +whose object is to work the ruin of every innocent girl that may fall +into their clutches. + +4. THE QUESTION.--Why does society wonder at the increase of +prostitution, when the public balls and promiscuous dancing is so +largely endorsed and encouraged? + +5. WORKING GIRLS.--Thousands of innocent working girls enter +innocently and unsuspectingly into the paths which lead them to the +house of evil, or who wander the streets as miserable outcasts all +through the influence of the dance. The low theatre and dance halls +and other places of unselected gatherings are the milestones which +mark the working girl's downward path from virtue to vice, from +modesty to shame. + +6. THE SALESWOMAN, the seamstress, the factory girl or any other +virtuous girl had better, far better, die than take the first step in +the path of impropriety and danger. Better, a thousand times better, +better for this life, better for the life to come, an existence of +humble, virtuous industry than a single departure from virtue, even +though it were paid with a fortune. + +7. TEMPTATIONS.--There is not a young girl but what is more or less +tempted by some unprincipled wretch who may have the reputation of a +genteel society man. It behooves parents to guard carefully the morals +of their daughters, and be vigilant and cautious in permitting them +to accept the society of young men. Parents who desire to save their +daughters from a fate which is worse than death, should endeavor +by every means in their power to keep them from falling into traps +cunningly devised by some cunning lover. There are many good young +men, but not all are safe friends to an innocent, confiding young +girl. + +8. PROSTITUTION.--Some girls inherit their vicious tendency; others +fall because of misplaced affections; many sin through a love of +dress, which is fostered by society and by the surroundings amidst +which they may be placed; many, very many, embrace a life of shame to +escape poverty While each of these different phases of prostitution +require a different remedy, we need better men, better women, better +laws and better protection for the young girls. + +[Illustration: A RUSSIAN SPINNING GIRL.] + +9. A STARTLING FACT.--Startling as it may seem to some, it is a fact +in our large cities that there are many girls raised by parents with +no other aim than to make them harlots. At a tender age they are sold +by fathers and mothers into an existence which is worse than slavery +itself. It is not uncommon to see girls at the tender age of thirteen +or fourteen--mere children--hardened courtesans, lost to all sense +of shame and decency. They are reared in ignorance, surrounded by +demoralizing influences, cut off from the blessings of church and +Sabbath school, see nothing but licentiousness, intemperance and +crime. These young girls are lost forever. They are beyond the reach +of the moralist or preacher and have no comprehension of modesty and +purity. Virtue to them is a stranger, and has been from the cradle. + +10. A GREAT WRONG.--Parents too poor to clothe themselves bring +children into the world, children for whom they have no bread, +consequently the girl easily falls a victim in early womanhood to the +heartless libertine. The boy with no other schooling but that of +the streets soon masters all the qualifications for a professional +criminal. If there could be a law forbidding people to marry who have +no visible means of supporting a family, or if they should marry, if +their children could be taken from them and properly educated by the +State, it would cost the country less and be a great step in advancing +our civilization. + +11. THE FIRST STEP.--Thousands of fallen women could have been saved +from lives of degradation and deaths of shame had they received more +toleration and loving forgiveness in their first steps of error. Many +women naturally pure and virtuous have fallen to the lowest depths +because discarded by friends, frowned upon by society, and sneered at +by the world, after they had taken a single mis-step. Society forgives +man, but woman never. + +12. IN THE BEGINNING of every girl's downward career there is +necessarily a hesitation. She naturally ponders over what course +to take, dreading to meet friends and looking into the future with +horror. That moment is the vital turning point in her career; a kind +word of forgiveness, a mother's embrace a father's welcome may +save her. The bloodhounds, known as the seducer, the libertine, the +procurer, are upon her track; she is trembling on the frightful brink +of the abyss. Extend a helping hand and save her! + +13. FATHER, if your daughter goes astray, do not drive her from your +home. Mother, if your child errs, do not close your heart against her. +Sisters and brothers and friends, do not force her into the pathway of +shame, but rather strive to win her back into the Eden of virtue, an +in nine cases out of ten you will succeed. + +14. SOCIETY EVILS.--The dance, the theater, the wine-cup, the +race-course, the idle frivolity and luxury of summer watering places, +all have a tendency to demoralize the young. + +15. BAD SOCIETY.--Much of our modern society admits libertines and +seducers to the drawing-room, while it excludes their helpless and +degraded victims, consequently it is not strange that there are +skeletons in many closets, matrimonial infelicity and wayward girls. + +16. "'KNOW THYSELF,'" says Dr. Saur, "is an important maxim for us +all, and especially is it true for girls. + +"All are born with the desire to become attractive girls especially +want to grow up, not only attractive, but beautiful. Some girls +think that bright eyes, pretty hair and fine clothes alone make them +beautiful. This is not so. Real beauty depends upon good health, good +manners and a pure mind. + +"As the happiness of our girls depends upon their health, it behoves +us all to guide the girls in such a way as to bring forward the best +of results. + +17. "THERE IS NO ONE who stands so near the girl as the mother. From +early childhood she occupies the first place in the little one's +confidence she laughs, plays, and corrects, when necessary, the faults +of her darling. She should be equally ready to guide in the important +laws of life and health upon which rest her future. Teach your +daughters that in all things the 'creative principle' has its source +in life itself. It originates from Divine life, and when they know +that it may be consecrated to wise and useful purposes, they are never +apt to grow up with base thoughts or form bad habits. Their lives +become a happiness to themselves and a blessing to humanity. + +18. TEACH WISELY.--"Teach your daughters that _all life_ originates +from a seed a germ. Knowing this law, you need have no fears that base +or unworthy thoughts of the reproductive function can ever enter their +minds. The growth, development and ripening of human seed becomes a +beautiful and sacred mystery. The tree, the rose and all plant life +are equally as mysterious and beautiful in their reproductive life. +Does not this alone prove to us, conclusively, that there is a +Divinity in the background governing, controlling and influencing our +lives? Nature has no secrets, and why should we? None at all. The only +care we should experience is in teaching wisely. + +"Yes lead them wisely teach them that the seed, the germ of a new +life, is maturing within them. Teach them that between the ages of +eleven and fourteen this maturing process has certain physical signs. +The breasts grow round and full, the whole body, even the voice, +undergoes a change. It is right that they should be taught the natural +law of life in reproduction and the physiological structure of their +being. Again we repeat that these lessons should be taught by the +mother, and in a tender, delicate and confidential way. Become, oh, +mother, your daughter's companion, and she will not go elsewhere for +this knowledge which must come to all in time, but possibly too late +and through sources that would prove more harm than good. + +19. THE ORGANS OF CREATIVE LIFE in women are: Ovaries, Fallopian +tubes, uterus, vagina and mammary glands. The _ovaries_ and _Fallopian +tubes_ have already been described under "The Female Generative +Organs." + +"The _uterus_ is a pear-shaped muscular organ, situated in the lower +portion of the pelvis, between the bladder and the rectum. It is +less than three inches in length and two inches in width and one in +thickness. + +"The _vagina_ is a membranous canal which joins the internal outlet +with the womb, which projects slightly into it. The opening into the +vagina is nearly oval, and in those who have never indulged in sexual +intercourse or in handling the sexual organs is more or less closed +by a membrane termed the _hymen_. The presence of this membrane was +formerly considered as undoubted evidence of virginity; its absence, a +lack of chastity. + +"The _mammary glands_ are accessory to the generative organs. They +secrete milk, which the All-wise Gatherer provided for the nourishment +of the child after birth. + +20. "MENSTRUATION, which appears about the age of thirteen years, +is the flow from the uterus that occurs every month as the seed-germ +ripens in the ovaries. God made the sexual organs so that the race +should not die out. He gave them to us so that we may reproduce +life, and thus fill the highest position in the created universe. The +purpose for which they are made is high and holy and honorable, and if +they are used only for this purpose and they must not be used at +all until they are fully matured they will be a source of greatest +blessing to us all. + +[Illustration: THE TWO PATHS--WHAT WILL THE GIRL BECOME? + +AT 13: BAD LITERATURE +AT 20: FLIRTING & COQUETTERY +AT 26: FAST LIFE & DISSIPATION +AT 40: AN OUTCAST + +AT 13: STUDY & OBEDIENCE +AT 20: VIRTUE & DEVOTION +AT 26: A LOVING MOTHER +AT 60: AN HONORED GRANDMOTHER] + +21. "A CAREFUL STUDY of this organ, of its location, of its arteries +and nerves, will convince the growing girl that her body should never +submit to corsets and tight lacing in response to the demands of +fashion, even though nature has so bountifully provided for the safety +of this important organ. By constant pressure the vagina and womb may +be compressed into one-third their natural length or crowded into an +unnatural position. We can readily see, then, the effect of lacing +or tight clothing. Under these circumstances the ligaments lose their +elasticity, and as a result we have prolapsus or falling of the womb. + +22. "I AM MORE ANXIOUS for growing girls than for any other earthly +object. These girls are to be the mothers of future generations; upon +them hangs the destiny of the world in coming time, and if they can +be made to understand what is right and what is wrong with regard to +their own bodies now, while they are young, the children they will +give birth to and the men and women who shall call them mother will +be of a higher type and belong to a nobler class than those of the +present day. + +23. "ALL WOMEN CANNOT have good features, but they can look well, and +it is possible to a great extent to correct deformity and develop much +of the figure. The first step to good looks is good health, and the +first element of health is cleanliness. Keep clean wash freely, bathe +regularly. All the skin wants is leave to act, and it takes care of +itself. + +24. "GIRLS SOMETIMES GET THE IDEA that it is nice to be 'weak' and +'delicate,' but they cannot get a more false idea! God meant women to +be strong and able-bodied, and only by being so can they be happy and +capable of imparting happiness to others. It is only by being strong +and healthy that they can be perfect in their sexual nature; and It is +only by being perfect in this part of their being that you can become +a noble, grand and beautiful woman. + +25. "UP TO THE AGE of puberty, if the girl has grown naturally, waist, +hips and shoulders are about the same in width, the shoulders being, +perhaps, a trifle the broadest. Up to this time the sexual organs have +grown but little. Now they take a sudden start and need more room. +Nature aids the girls; the tissues and muscles increase in size and +the pelvis bones enlarge. The limbs grow plump, the girl stops growing +tall and becomes round and full. Unsuspected strength comes to her; +tasks that were once hard to perform are now easy; her voice becomes +sweeter and stronger. The mind develops more rapidly even than the +body; her brain is more active and quicker; subjects that once were +dull and dry have unwonted interest; lessons are more easily learned; +the eyes sparkle with intelligence, indicating increased mental power; +her manner denotes the consciousness of new power; toys of childhood +are laid away; womanly thoughts and pursuits fill her mind; budding +childhood has become blooming womanhood. Now, if ever, must be laid +the foundation of physical vigor and of a healthy body. Girls should +realize the significance of this fact. Do not get the idea that men +admire a weakly, puny, delicate, small-waisted, languid, doll-like +creature, a libel on true womanhood. Girls admire men with broad +chests, square shoulders, erect form, keen bright eyes, hard muscles +and undoubted vigor. Men also turn naturally to healthy, robust, +well-developed girls, and to win their admiration girls must meet +their ideals. A good form, a sound mind and a healthy body are within +the reach of nine out of ten of our girls by proper care and training. +Physical bankruptcy may claim the same proportion if care and training +are neglected. + +26. "A WOMAN FIVE FEET TALL should measure two feet around the waist +and thirty-three inches around the hips. A waist less than this +proportion indicates compression either by lacing or tight clothing. +Exercise in the open air, take long walks and vigorous exercise, using +care not to overdo it. Housework will prove a panacea for many of the +ills which flesh is heir to. One hour's exercise at the wash-tub is of +far more value, from a physical standpoint, than hours at the piano. +Boating is most excellent exercise and within the reach of many. Care +in dressing is also important, and, fortunately, fashion is coming to +the rescue here. It is essential that no garments be suspended from +the waist. Let the shoulders bear the weight of all the clothing, so +that the organs of the body may be left free and unimpeded. + +27. "SLEEP SHOULD BE HAD regularly and abundantly. Avoid late hours, +undue excitement, evil associations; partake of plain, nutritious +food, and health will be your reward. There is one way of destroying +health, which, fortunately, is not as common among girls as boys, +and which must be mentioned ere this chapter closes. Self-abuse is +practised among growing girls to such an extent as to arouse serious +alarm. Many a girl has been led to handle and play with her sexual +organs through the advice of some girl who has obtained temporary +pleasure in that way; or, perchance, chafing has been followed by +rubbing until the organs have become congested with blood, and in this +accidental manner the girl discovered what seems to her a source of +pleasure, but which, alas, is a source of misery, and even death. + +28. "AS IN THE BOY, SO IN THE GIRL, self-abuse causes an undue amount +of blood to flow to those organs, thus depriving other parts of the +body of its nourishment, the weakest part first showing the effect of +want of sustenance. All that has been said upon this loathsome subject +in the preceding chapter for boys might well be repeated here, but +space forbids. Read that chapter again, and know that the same signs +that betray the boy will make known the girl addicted to the vice. +The bloodless lips, the dull, heavy eye surrounded with dark rings, +the nerveless hand, the blanched cheek, the short breath, the old, +faded look, the weakened memory and silly irritability tell the story +all too plainly. The same evil result follows, ending perhaps in +death, or worse, in insanity. Aside from the injury the girl does +herself by yielding to this habit, there is one other reason which +appeals to the conscience, and that is, self-abuse is an offence +against moral law it is putting to a vile, selfish use the organs +which were given for a high, sacred purpose. + +29. "LET THEM ALONE, except to care for them when care is needed, and +they may prove the greatest blessing you have ever known. They were +given you that you might become a mother, the highest office to which +God has ever called one of His creatures. Do not debase yourself and +become lower than the beasts of the field. If this habit has fastened +itself upon any one of our readers, stop it now. Do not allow +yourself to think about it, give up all evil associations, seek pure +companions, and go to your mother, older sister, or physician for +advice. + +30. "AND YOU, MOTHER, knowing the danger that besets your daughters at +this critical period, are you justified in keeping silent? Can you be +held guiltless if your daughter ruins body and mind because you were +too modest to tell her the laws of her being? There is no love that is +dearer to your daughter than yours, no advice that is more respected +than yours, no one whose warning would be more potent. Fail not in +your duty. As motherhood has been your sweetest joy, so help your +daughter to make it hers." + +[Illustration: YOUNG GARFIELD DRIVING TEAM ON THE CANAL.] + + + * * * * * + +SAVE THE BOYS. + +PLAIN WORDS TO PARENTS. + + +1. With a shy look, approaching his mother when she was alone, the boy +of fifteen said, "There are some things I want to ask you. I hear the +boys speak of them at school, and I don't understand, and a fellow +doesn't like to ask any one but his mother." + +2. Drawing him down to her, in the darkness that was closing about +them, the mother spoke to her son and the son to his mother freely +of things which everybody must know sooner or later, and which no boy +should learn from "anyone but his mother" or father. + +3. If you do not answer such a natural question your boy will turn +for answer to others, and learn things, perhaps, which your cheeks may +well blush to have him know. + +4. Our boys and girls are growing faster than we think. The world +moves; we can no longer put off our children with the old nurses' +tales; even MacDonald's beautiful statement, + + "Out of the everywhere into the there", + +does not satisfy them when they reverse his question and ask, "Where +did I come from?" + +5. They must be answered. If we put them off, they may be tempted to +go elsewhere for information, and hear half-truths, or whole truths +so distorted, so mingled with what is low and impure that, struggle +against it as they may in later years, their minds will always retain +these early impressions. + +6. It is not so hard if you begin early. The very flowers are object +lessons. The wonderful mystery of life is wrapped in one flower, with +its stamens, pistils and ovaries. Every child knows how an egg came +in the nest, and takes it as a matter of course; why not go one step +farther with them and teach the wonder, the beauty, the holiness that +surrounds maternity anywhere? Why, centuries ago the Romans honored, +and taught their boys to honor, the women in whose safety was bound up +the future of their existence as a nation! Why should we do less? + +7. Your sons and mine, your daughters and mine, need to be wisely +taught and guarded just along these lines, if your sons and mine, your +daughters and mine, are to grow up into a pure, healthy, Christian +manhood and womanhood. + +[Illustration] + +8.[_Footnote: This quotation is an appeal to mothers by Mrs. P.B. +Saur, M.D._] "How grand is the boy who has kept himself undefiled! His +complexion clear, his muscles firm, his movements vigorous, his manner +frank, his courage undaunted, his brain active, his will firm, his +self-control perfect, his body and mind unfolding day by day. His life +should be one song of praise and thanksgiving. If you want your boy to +be such a one, train him, my dear woman, _to-day_, and his _to-morrow_ +will take care of itself. + +9. "Think you that good seed sown will bring forth bitter fruit? A +thousand times, No! As we sow, so shall we reap. Train your boys in +morality, temperance and virtue. Teach them to embrace good and shun +evil. Teach them the true from the false; the light from the dark. +Teach them that when they take a thing that is not their own, they +commit a sin. Teach them that _sin means disobedience of God's laws of +every kind_. + +10. "God made every organ of our body with the intention that it +should perform a certain work. If we wish to see, we use our eyes; if +we want to hear, our ears are called into use. In fact, nature teaches +us the proper use of _all our organs_. I say to you, mother, and oh, +so earnestly: 'Go teach your boy that which you may never be ashamed +to do, about these organs that make him _specially a boy_.' + +11. "Teach him they are called _sexual organs_; that they are not +impure, but of special importance, and made by God for a definite +purpose. Teach him that there are impurities taken from the system in +fluid form called urine, and that it passes through the sexual organs, +but that nature takes care of that. Teach him that these organs are +given as a sacred trust, that in maturer years he may be the means of +giving life to those who shall live forever. + +12. "Impress upon him that if these organs are abused, or if they are +put to any use besides that for which God made them and He did not +intend they should be used at all until man is fully grown they will +bring disease and ruin upon those who abuse and disobey the laws which +God has made to govern them. If he has ever learned to handle his +_sexual organs_, or to touch them in any way except to keep them +clean, not to do it again. If he does he will not grow up happy, +healthy and strong. + +13. "Teach him that when he handles or excites the sexual organs all +parts of the body suffer, because they are connected by nerves that +run throughout the system; this is why it is called 'self-abuse.' The +whole body is abused when this part of the body is handled or excited +in any manner whatever. Teach them to shun all children who indulge in +this loathsome habit, or all children who talk about these things. The +sin is terrible, and is, in fact, worse than lying or stealing. For, +although these are wicked and will ruin their souls, yet this habit of +self-abuse will ruin both soul and body. + +14. "If the sexual organs are handled, it brings too much blood to +these parts, and this produces a diseased condition; it also causes +disease in other organs of the body, because they are left with a less +amount of blood than they ought to have. The sexual organs, too, are +very closely connected with the spine and the brain by means of the +nerves, and if they are handled, or if you keep thinking about them, +these nerves get excited and become exhausted, and this makes the back +ache, the brain heavy and the whole body weak. + +15. "It lays the foundation for consumption, paralysis and heart +disease. It weakens the memory, makes a boy careless, negligent and +listless. It even makes many lose their minds; others, when grown, +commit suicide. How often mothers see their little boys handling +themselves, and let it pass, because they think the boy will outgrow +the habit, and do not realize the strong hold it has upon them. I say +to you who love your boys 'Watch!' + +16. "Don't think it does no harm to your boy because he does not +suffer now, for the effects of this vice come on so slowly that the +victim is often very near death before you realize that he has done +himself harm. The boy with no knowledge of the consequences, and with +no one to warn him, finds momentary pleasure in its practice, and +so contracts a habit which grows upon him, undermining his health, +poisoning his mind, arresting his development, and laying the +foundation for future misery. + +17. "Do not read this book and forget it, for it contains earnest and +living truths. Do not let false modesty stand in your way, but from +this time on keep this thought in mind 'the saving of your boy.' +Follow its teachings and you will bless God as long as you live. Read +it to your neighbors, who, like yourself, have growing boys, and urge +them for the sake of humanity to heed its advice. + +18. "Right here we want to emphasize the importance of _cleanliness_. +We verily believe that oftentimes these habits originate in a burning +and irritating sensation about the organs, caused by a want of +thorough washing. + +19. "It is worthy of note that many eminent physicians now advocate +the custom of circumcision, claiming that the removal of a little of +the foreskin induces cleanliness, thus preventing the irritation and +excitement which come from the gathering of the whiteish matter under +the foreskin at the beginning of the glands. This irritation being +removed, the boy is less apt to tamper with his sexual organs. The +argument seems a good one, especially when we call to mind the high +physical state of those people who have practiced the custom. + +20. "Happy is the mother who can feel she has done her duty, in this +direction, while her boy is still a child. For those mothers, though, +whose little boys have now grown to boyhood with the evil still upon +them, and _you_, through ignorance, permitted it, we would say, 'Begin +at once; it is never too late.' If he has not lost all will power, he +can be saved. Let him go in confidence to a reputable physician and +follow his advice. Simple diet, plentiful exercise in open air and +congenial employment will do much. Do not let the mind dwell upon +evil thoughts, shun evil companions, avoid vulgar stories, sensational +novels, and keep the thoughts pure. + +21. "Let him interest himself in social and benevolent affairs, +participate in Sunday-school work, farmers' clubs, or any +organizations which tend to elevate and inspire noble sentiment. Let +us remember that 'a perfect man is the noblest work of God.' God has +given us a life which is to last forever, and the little time we spend +on earth is as nothing to the ages which we are to spend in the world +beyond; so our earthly life is a very important part of our existence, +for it is here that the foundation is laid for either happiness or +misery in the future. It is here that we decide our destiny, and our +efforts to know and obey God's laws in our bodies as well as in +our souls will not only bring blessings to us in this life, but +never-ending happiness throughout eternity." + +22. A QUESTION. How can a father chew and smoke tobacco, drink and +swear, use vulgar language, tell obscene stories, and raise a family +of pure, clean-minded children? LET THE ECHO ANSWER. + +[Illustration: "SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN, AND FORBID THEM NOT, TO COME +UNTO ME: FOR OF SUCH IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN-"--_MATT. 19:14_] + + + * * * * * + +THE INHUMANITIES OF PARENTS. + + +1. Not long ago a Presbyterian minister in Western New York whipped +his three-year-old boy to death for refusing to say his prayers. The +little fingers were broken; the tender flesh was bruised and actually +mangled; strong men wept when they looked on the lifeless body. Think +of a strong man from one hundred and fifty to two hundred pounds in +weight, pouncing upon a little child, like a Tiger upon a Lamb, and +with his strong arm inflicting physical blows on the delicate tissues +of a child's body. See its frail and trembling flesh quiver and its +tender nervous organization shaking with terror and fear. + +2. How often is this the case in the punishment of children all over +this broad land! Death is not often the immediate consequence of this +brutality as in the above stated case, but the punishment is often as +unjust, and the physical constitution of children is often ruined and +the mind by fright seriously injured. + +3. Everyone knows the sudden sense of pain, and sometimes dizziness +and nausea follow, as the results of an accidental hitting of the +ankle, knee or elbow against a hard substance, and involuntary tears +are brought to the eyes; but what is such a pain as this compared +with the pains of a dozen or more quick blows on the body of a little +helpless child from the strong arm of a parent in a passion? Add +to this overwhelming terror of fright, the strangulating effects +of sighing and shrieking, and you have a complete picture of +child-torture. + +4. Who has not often seen a child receive, within an hour or two of +the first whipping, a second one, for some small ebullition of nervous +irritability, which was simply inevitable from its spent and worn +condition? + +5. Would not all mankind cry out at the inhumanity of one who, as +things are to-day, should propose the substitution of pricking or +cutting or burning for whipping? It would, however, be easy to show +that small jabs or pricks or cuts are more human than the blows +many children receive. Why may not lying be as legitimately cured by +blisters made with hot coals as by black and blue spots made with +a ruler or whip? The principle is the same; and if the principle is +right, why not multiply methods? + +6. How many loving mothers will, without any thought of cruelty, +inflict half a dozen quick blows on the little hand of her child and +when she could no more take a pin and make the same number of thrusts +into the tender flesh, than she could bind the baby on a rack. Yet +the pin-thrust would hurt far less, and would probably make a deeper +impression on the child's mind. + +[Illustration] + +7. We do not intend to be understood that a child must have everything +that it desires and every whim and wish to receive special recognition +by the parents. Children can soon be made to understand the necessity +of obedience, and punishment can easily be brought about by teaching +them self-denial. Deny them the use of a certain plaything, deny them +the privilege of visiting certain of their little friends, deny +them the privilege of the table, etc., and these self-denials can be +applied according to the age and condition of the child, with firmness +and without any yielding. Children will soon learn obedience if they +see the parents are sincere. Lessons of home government can be learned +by the children at home as well as they can learn lessons at school. + +8. The trouble is, many parents need more government, more training +and more discipline than the little ones under their control. + +9. Scores of times during the day a child is told in a short, +authoritative way to do or not to do certain little things, which we +ask at the hands of elder persons as favors. When we speak to an elder +person, we say, would you be so kind as to close the door, when the +same person making the request of a child will say, _"Shut the door."_ +_"Bring me the chair."_ _"Stop that noise."_ _"Sit down there."_ +Whereas, if the same kindness was used towards the child it would soon +learn to imitate the example. + +10. On the other hand, let a child ask for anything without saying +"please," receive anything without saying "thank you," it suffers a +rebuke and a look of scorn at once. Often a child insists on having a +book, chair or apple to the inconveniencing of an elder, and what an +outcry is raised: "Such rudeness;" "Such an ill-mannered child;" "His +parents must have neglected him strangely." Not at all: The parents +may have been steadily telling him a great many times every day not +to do these precise things which you dislike. But they themselves have +been all the time doing those very things before him, and there is no +proverb that strikes a truer balance between two things than the old +one which weighs example over against precept. + +11. It is a bad policy to be rude to children. A child will win and be +won, and in a long run the chances are that the child will have better +manners than its parents. Give them a good example and take pains in +teaching them lessons of obedience and propriety, and there will be +little difficulty in raising a family of beautiful and well-behaved +children. + +12. Never correct a child in the presence of others; it is a rudeness +to the child that will soon destroy its self-respect. It is the way +criminals are made and should always and everywhere be condemned. + +13. But there are no words to say what we are or what we deserve if we +do this to the little children whom we have dared for our own pleasure +to bring into the perils of this life, and whose whole future may be +blighted by the mistakes of our careless hands. There are thousands of +young men and women to-day groaning under the penalties and burdens +of life, who owe their misfortunes, their shipwreck and ruin to the +ignorance or indifference of parents. + +14. Parents of course love their children, but with that love there is +a responsibility that cannot be shirked. The government and training +of children is a study that demands a parent's time and attention +often much more than the claims of business. + +15. Parents, study the problems that come up every day in your home. +Remember, your future happiness, and the future welfare of your +children, depend upon it. + +16. CRIMINALS AND HEREDITY. Wm. M.F. Round was for many years in +charge of the House of Refuge on Randall's Island, New York, and his +opportunities for observation in the work among criminals surely +make him a competent judge, and he says in his letter to the New York +Observer: "Among this large number of young offenders I can state +with entire confidence that not one per cent. were children born of +criminal parents; and with equal confidence I am able to say that the +common cause of their delinquency was found in bad parental training, +in bad companionship, and in lack of wholesome restraint from evil +associations and influences. It was this knowledge that led to the +establishing of the House of Refuge nearly three-quarters of a century +ago." + +17. BAD TRAINING. Thus it is seen from one of the best authorities in +the United States that criminals are made either by the indifference +or the neglect of parents, or both, or by too much training without +proper judgment and knowledge. Give your children a good example, and +never tell a child to do something and then become indifferent as to +whether they do it or not. A child should never be told twice to do +the same thing. Teach the child in childhood obedience and never vary +from that rule. Do it kindly but firmly. + +18. IF YOUR CHILDREN DO NOT OBEY OR RESPECT YOU in their childhood and +youth, how can you expect to govern them when older and shape their +character for future usefulness and good citizenship? + +19. THE FUNDAMENTAL RULE. Never tell a child twice to do the same +thing. Command the respect of your children, and there will be no +question as to obedience. + + + * * * * * + +CHASTITY AND PURITY OF CHARACTER. + +[Illustration] + + +1. CHASTITY is the purest and brightest jewel in human character. Dr. +Pierce in his widely known _Medical Adviser_ says: For the full and +perfect development of mankind, both mental and physical, chastity is +necessary. The health demands abstinence from unlawful intercourse. +Therefore children should be instructed to avoid all impure works of +fiction, which tend to inflame the mind and excite the passions. Only +in total abstinence from illicit pleasures is there safety, morals, +and health, while integrity, peace and happiness are the conscious +rewards of virtue. Impurity travels downward with intemperance, +obscenity and corrupting diseases, to degradation and death. A +dissolute, licentious, free-and-easy life is filled with the dregs of +human suffering, iniquity and despair. The penalties which follow a +violation of the law of chastity are found to be severe and swiftly +retributive. + +2. THE UNION of the sexes in holy Matrimony is a law of nature, +finding sanction in both morals and legislation. Even some of the +lower animals unite in this union for life and instinctively observe +the law of conjugal fidelity with a consistency which might put to +blush other animals more highly endowed. It seems important to discuss +this subject and understand our social evils, as well as the intense +passional desires of the sexes, which must be controlled, or they lead +to ruin. + +3. SEXUAL PROPENSITIES are possessed by all, and these must be held in +abeyance, until they are needed for legitimate purposes. Hence parents +ought to understand the value to their children of mental and physical +labor, to elevate and strengthen the intellectual and moral faculties, +to develop the muscular system and direct the energies of the +blood into healthful channels. Vigorous employment of mind and body +engrosses the vital energies and diverts them from undue excitement of +the sexual desires. + + _Give your young people plenty of outdoor amusement; less of + dancing and more of croquet and lawn tennis. Stimulate the methods + of pure thoughts in innocent amusement, and your sons and daughters + will mature to manhood and womanhood pure and chaste in character._ + +4. IGNORANCE DOES NOT MEAN INNOCENCE.--It is a current idea, +especially among our good common people, that the child should be +kept in ignorance regarding the mystery of his own body and how he was +created or came into the world. This is a great mistake. Parents must +know that the sources of social impurity are great, and the child is a +hundred times more liable to have his young mind poisoned if +entirely ignorant of the functions of his nature than if judiciously +enlightened on these important truths by the parent. The parent must +give him weapons of defense against the putrid corruption he is sure +to meet outside the parental roof. The child cannot get through the A, +B, C period of school without it. + +5. CONFLICTING VIEWS.--There is a great difference of opinion regarding +the age at which the child should be taught the mysteries of nature: +some maintain that he cannot comprehend the subject before the age of +puberty; others say "they will find it out soon enough, it is not best +to have them over-wise while they are so young. Wait a while." That is +just the point (_they will find it out_), and we ask in all candor, +is it not better that they learn it from the pure loving mother, +untarnished from any insinuating remark, than that they should learn +it from some foul-mouthed libertine on the street, or some giddy girl +at school? Mothers! fathers! which think you is the most sensible and +fraught with the least danger to your darling boy or girl? + +6. DELAY IS FRAUGHT WITH DANGER.--Knowledge on a subject so vitally +connected with moral health must not be deferred. It is safe to say +that no child, no boy at least in these days of excitement and unrest, +reaches the age of ten years without getting some idea of nature's +laws regarding parenthood. And ninety-nine chances to one, those ideas +will be vile and pernicious unless they come from a wise, loving and +pure parent. Now, we entreat you, parents, mothers! do not wait; begin +before a false notion has had chance to find lodgment in the childish +mind. But remember this is a lesson of life, it cannot be told in one +chapter, it is as important as the lessons of love and duty. + +7. THE FIRST LESSONS.--Should you be asked by your four or five-year +old, "Mamma, where did you get me?" Instead of saying, "The doctor +brought you," or "God made you and a stork brought you from Babyland +on his back," tell him the truth as you would about any ordinary +question. One mother's explanation was something like this: "My +dear, you were not made any more than apples are made, or the little +chickens are made. Your dolly was made, but it has no life like you +have. God has provided that all living things such as plants, trees, +little chickens, little kittens, little babies, etc., should grow from +seeds or little tiny eggs. Apples grow, little chickens grow, little +babies grow. Apple and peach trees grow from seeds that are planted +in the ground, and the apples and peaches grow on the trees. Baby +chickens grow inside the eggs that are kept warm by the mother hen +for a certain time. Baby boys and girls do not grow inside an egg, but +they start to grow inside of a snug warm nest, from an egg that is +so small you cannot see it with just your eye." This was not given at +once, but from time to time as the child asked questions and in the +simplest language, with many illustrations from plant and animal +life. It may have occupied months, but in time the lesson was fully +understood. + +8. THE SECOND LESSON.--The second lesson came with the question, "But +_where_ is the nest?" The ice is now broken, as it were; it was an +easy matter for the mother to say, "The nest in which you grew, dear, +was close to your mother's heart inside her body. All things that +do not grow inside the egg itself, and which are kept warm by the +mother's body, begin to grow from the egg in a nest inside the +mother's body." It may be that this mother had access to illustrations +of the babe in the womb which were shown and explained to the child, +a boy. He was pleased and satisfied with the explanations. It meant +nothing out of the ordinary any more than a primary lesson on the +circulatory system did, it was knowledge on nature in its purity and +simplicity taught by mother, and hence caused no surprise. The subject +of the male and female generative organs came later; the greatest +pains and care was taken to make it clear, the little boy was taught +that the _sexual organs_ were made for a high and holy purpose, that +their office at present is only to carry off impurities from the +system in the fluid form called urine, and that he must never handle +his _sexual organs_ nor touch them in any way except to keep them +clean, and if he does this, he will grow up a bright, happy and +healthy boy. But if he excites or _abuses_ them, he will become +puny, sickly and unhappy. All this was explained in language pure and +simple. There is now in the boy a sturdy base of character building +along the line of virtue and purity through knowledge. + +9. SILLY DIRTY TRASH.--But I hear some mother say "Such silly dirty +trash to tell a child!" It is not dirty nor silly; it is nature's +untarnished truth. God has ordained that children should thus be +brought into the world, do you call the works of God silly? Remember, +kind mother, and don't forget it, if you fail to teach your children, +boys or girls, these important lessons early in life, they will +learn them from other sources, perhaps long ere you dream of it, +and ninety-nine times out of one hundred they will get improper, +perverted, impure and vile ideas of these important truths; besides +you nave lost their confidence and you will never regain it in these +matters. They will never come to mamma for information on these +subjects. And, think you, that your son and daughter, later in life +will make you their confidant as they ought? Will your beautiful +daughter hand the first letters she receives from her lover to mamma +to read, and seek her counsel and advice when she replies to them? +Will she ask mamma whether it is ever proper to sit in her lover's +lap? I think not; you have blighted her confidence and alienated her +affections. You have kept knowledge from her that she had a right +to know; you even failed to teach her the important truths of +menstruation. Troubled and excited at the first menstrual flow, she +dashed her feet in cold water hoping to stop the flow. You know the +results she is now twenty-five but is suffering from it to this day. +You, her mother, over fastidious, _so very nice_ you would never +mention "_such silly trash_" but by your consummate foolishness and +mock modesty you have ruined your daughter's health, and though in +later years she may forgive you, yet she can never love and respect +you as she ought. + + +10. "KNOWLEDGE THE PRESERVER OF PURITY."--Laura E. Scammon, writing on +this subject, in the Arena of November, 1893, says: "When questions +arise that can not be answered by observation, reply to each as simply +and directly as you answer questions upon other subjects, giving +scientific names and facts, and such explanations as are suited to +the comprehension of the child. Treat nature and her laws always with +serious, respectful attention. Treat the holy mysteries of parenthood +reverently, never losing sight of the great law upon which are founded +all others the law of love. Say it and sing it, play it and pray it +into the soul of your child, that _love is lord of all_." + +11. CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER.--Observation and common sense +should teach every parent that lack of knowledge on these subjects and +proper counsel and advice in later years is the main cause of so +many charming girls being seduced and led astray, and so many bright +promising boys wrecked by _self-abuse or social impurity_. Make your +children your confidants early in life, especially in these things, +have frequent talks with them on nature, and you will never, other +things being equal, mourn over a ruined daughter or a wreckless, +debased son. + + + * * * * * + +EXCITING THE PASSIONS IN CHILDREN. + + +1. CONVERSATION BEFORE CHILDREN.--The conduct and conversation of +adults before children and youth, how often have I blushed with shame, +and kindled with indignation at the conversation of parents, and +especially of mothers, to their children: "John, go and kiss Harriet, +for she is your sweet-heart." Well may shame make him hesitate and +hang his head. "Why, John, I did not think you so great a coward. +Afraid of the girls, are you? That will never do. Come, go along, and +hug and kiss her. There, that's a man. I guess you will love the girls +yet." Continually is he teased about the girls and being in love, till +he really selects a sweet-heart. + +2. THE LOSS OF MAIDEN PURITY AND NATURAL DELICACY.--I will not lift +the veil, nor expose the conduct of children among themselves. And +all this because adults have filled their heads with those impurities +which surfeit their own. What could more effectually wear off that +natural delicacy, that maiden purity and bashfulness, which form the +main barriers against the influx of vitiated Amativeness? How often do +those whose modesty has been worn smooth, even take pleasure in thus +saying and doing things to raise the blush on the cheek of youth and +innocence, merely to witness the effect of this improper illusion +upon them; little realizing that they are thereby breaking down the +barriers of their virtue, and prematurely kindling the fires of animal +passion! + +3. BALLS. PARTIES AND AMUSEMENTS.--The entire machinery of balls +and parties, of dances and other amusements of young people, tend to +excite and inflame this passion. Thinking it a fine thing to get in +love, they court and form attachments long before either their mental +or physical powers are matured. Of course, these young loves, these +green-house exotics, must be broken off, and their miserable subjects +left burning up with the fierce fires of a flaming passion, which, if +left alone, would have slumbered on for years, till they were prepared +for its proper management and exercise. + +4. SOWING THE SEEDS FOR FUTURE RUIN.--Nor is it merely the +conversation of adults that does all this mischief; their manners also +increase it. Young men take the hands of girls from six to thirteen +years old, kiss them, press them, and play with them so as, in a great +variety of ways, to excite their innocent passions, combined, I grant, +with friendship and refinement--for all this is genteely done. They +intend no harm, and parents dream of none: and yet their embryo love +is awakened, to be again still more easily excited. Maiden ladies, and +even married women, often express similar feelings towards lads, not +perhaps positively improper in themselves, yet injurious in their +ultimate effects. + +5. READING NOVELS.--How often have I seen girls not twelve years old, +as hungry for a story or novel as they should be for their dinners! A +sickly sentimentalism is thus formed, and their minds are sullied with +impure desires. Every fashionable young lady must of course read every +new novel, though nearly all of them contain exceptionable allusions, +perhaps delicately covered over with a thin gauze of fashionable +refinement; yet, on that very account, the more objectionable. If +this work contained one improper allusion to their ten, many of those +fastidious ladies who now eagerly devour the vulgarities of Dumas, and +the double-entendres of Bulwer, and even converse with gentlemen about +their contents, would discountenance or condemn it as improper. _Shame +on novel-reading women_; for they cannot have pure minds or unsullied +feelings, but Cupid and the beaux, and waking of dreams of love, are +fast consuming their health and virtue. + +6. THEATER-GOING.--Theaters and theatrical dancing, also inflame +the passions, and are "the wide gate" of "the broad road" of moral +impurity. Fashionable music is another, especially the verses set to +it, being mostly love-sick ditties, or sentimental odes, breathing +this tender passion in its most melting and bewitching strains. +Improper prints often do immense injury in this respect, as do also +balls, parties, annuals, newspaper articles, exceptional works, etc. + +7. THE CONCLUSION OF THE WHOLE MATTER.--Stop for one moment and think +for yourself and you will be convinced that the sentiment herein +announced is for your good and the benefit of all mankind. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +PUBERTY, VIRILITY AND HYGIENIC LAWS. + + +1. WHAT IS PUBERTY?--The definition is explained in another portion +of this book, but it should be understood that it is not a prompt or +immediate change; it is a slow extending growth and may extend for +many years. The ripening of physical powers do not take place when the +first signs of puberty appear. + +2. PROPER AGE.--The proper age for puberty should vary from twelve to +eighteen years. As a general rule, in the more vigorous and the more +addicted to athletic exercise or out-door life, this change is slower +in making its approach. + +3. HYGIENIC ATTENTION.--Youths at this period should receive special +private attention. They should be taught the purpose of the sexual +organs and the proper hygienic laws that govern them, and they should +also be taught to rise in the morning and not to lie in bed after +waking up, because it is largely owing to this habit that the secret +vice is contracted. One of the common causes of premature excitement +in many boys is a tight foreskin. It may cause much evil and +ought always to be remedied. Ill-fitting garments often cause much +irritation in children and produce unnatural passions. It is best to +have boys sleep in separate beds and not have them sleep together if +it can be avoided. + +4. PROPER INFLUENCE.--Every boy and girl should be carefully trained +to look with disgust on everything that is indecent in word or action. +Let them be taught a sense of shame in doing shameful things, and +teach them that modesty is honorable, and that immodesty is indecent +and dishonorable. Careful training at the proper age may save many a +boy or girl from ruin. + +5. SEXUAL PASSIONS.--The sexual passions may be a fire from heaven, or +a subtle flame from hell. It depends upon the government and proper +control. The noblest and most unselfish emotions take their arise +in the passion of sex. Its sweet influence, its elevating ties, +its vibrations and harmony, all combine to make up the noble and +courageous traits of man. + +6. WHEN PASSIONS BEGIN.--It is thought by some that passions begin at +the age of puberty, but the passions may be produced as early as +five or ten years. All depends upon the training or the want of it. +Self-abuse is not an uncommon evil at the age of eight or ten. A +company of bad boys often teach an innocent child that which will +develop his ruin. A boy may feel a sense of pleasure at eight and +produce a slight discharge, but not of semen. Thus it is seen that +parents may by neglect do their child the greatest injury. + +7. FALSE MODESTY.--Let there be no false modesty on part of the +parents. Give the child the necessary advice and instructions as soon +as necessary. + +8. THE MAN UNSEXED, by Mutilation or Masturbation. Eunuchs +are proverbial for tenor cruelty and crafty and unsympathizing +dispositions. Their mental powers are feeble and their physical +strength is inferior. They lack courage and physical endurance. When +a child is operated upon before the age of puberty, the voice retains +its childish treble, the limbs their soft and rounded outlines, and +the neck acquires a feminine fulness; no beard makes its appearance. +In ancient times and up to this time in Oriental nations eunuchs are +found. They are generally slaves who have suffered mutilation at a +tender age. It is a scientific fact that where boys have been taught +the practice of masturbation in their early years, say from eight to +fourteen years of age, if they survive at all they often have their +powers reduced to a similar condition of a eunuch. They generally +however suffer a greater disadvantage. Their health will be more or +less injured. In the eunuch the power of sexual intercourse is not +entirely lost, but of course there is sterility, and little if +any satisfaction, and the same thing may be true of the victim of +self-abuse. + +9. SIGNS OF VIRILITY.--As the young man develops in strength and years +the sexual appetite will manifest itself. The secretion of the male +known as the seed or semen depends for the life-transmitting power +upon little minute bodies called spermatozoa. These are very active +and numerous in a healthy secretion, being many hundreds in a single +drop and a single one of them is capable to bring about conception in +a female. Dr. Napheys in his "Transmission of Life," says: "The +secreted fluid has been frozen and kept at a temperature of zero for +four days, yet when it was thawed these animalcules, as they are +supposed to be, were as active as ever. They are not, however, always +present, and when present may be of variable activity. In young men, +just past puberty, and in aged men, they are often scarce and languid +in motion." At the proper age the secretion is supposed to be the most +active, generally at the age of twenty-five, and decreases as age +increases. + +10. HYGIENIC RULE.--The man at mid-life should guard carefully his +passions and the husband his virile powers, and as the years progress, +steadily wean himself more from his desire, for his passions will +become weaker with age and any excitement in middle life may soon +debilitate and destroy his virile powers. + +11. FOLLIES OF YOUTH.--Dr. Napheys says: "Not many men can fritter away +a decade or two of years in dissipation and excess, and ever hope to +make up their losses by rigid surveillance in later years." "The +sins of youth are expiated in age," is a proverb which daily examples +illustrate. In proportion as puberty is precocious, will decadence be +premature; the excesses of middle life draw heavily on the fortune +of later years. "The mill of the gods grinds slow, but it grinds +exceedingly fine," and though nature may be a tardy creditor, she is +found at last to be an inexorable one. + + + * * * * * + +OUR SECRET SINS. + + +1. PASSIONS.--Every healthful man has sexual desires and he might as +well refuse to satisfy his hunger as to deny their existence. The +Creator has given us various appetites intended they should be +indulged, and has provided the means. + +2. REASON.--While it is true that a healthy man has strongly developed +sexual passions, yet, God has crowned man with reason, and with +a proper exercise of this wonderful faculty of the human mind no +lascivious thoughts need to control the passions. A pure heart will +develop pure thoughts and bring out a good life. + +3. RIOTING IN VISIONS.--Dr. Lewis says: "Rioting in visions of nude +women may exhaust one as much as an excess in actual intercourse. +There are multitudes who would never spend the night with an abandoned +female, but who rarely meet a young girl that their imaginations are +not busy with her person. This species of indulgence is well-nigh +universal; and it is the source of all other forms the fountain from +which the external vices spring, and the nursery of masturbation." + +4. COMMITTING ADULTERY IN THE HEART.--A young man who allows his mind +to dwell upon the vision of nude women will soon become a victim of +ruinous passion, and either fall under the influence of lewd women +or resort to self-abuse. The man who has no control over his mind and +allows impure thoughts to be associated with the name of every female +that may be suggested to his mind, is but committing adultery in his +heart, just as guilty at heart as though he had committed the deed. + +5. UNCHASTITY.--So far as the record is preserved, unchastity has +contributed above all other causes, more to the ruin and exhaustion +and demoralization of the race than all other wickedness. And we shall +not be likely to vanquish the monster, even in ourselves, unless we +make the thoughts our point of attack. So long as they are sensual we +are indulging in sexual abuse, and are almost sure, when temptation +is presented, to commit the overt acts of sin. If we cannot succeed +within, we may pray in vain for help to resist the tempter outwardly. +A young man who will indulge in obscene language will be guilty of a +worse deed if opportunity is offered. + +6. BAD DRESSING.--If women knew how much mischief they do men they +would change some of their habits of dress. The dress of their busts, +the padding in different parts, are so contrived as to call away +attention from the soul and fix it on the bosom and hips. And then, +many, even educated women, are careful to avoid serious subjects in +our presence one minute before a gentleman enters the room they may +be engaged in thoughtful discussion, but the moment he appears their +whole style changes; they assume light fascinating ways, laugh sweet +little bits of laughs, and turn their heads this way and that, all +which forbids serious thinking and gives men over to imagination. + +7. THE LUSTFUL EYE.--How many men there are who lecherously stare at +every woman in whose presence they happen to be. These monsters stare +at women as though they were naked in a cage on exhibition. A man +whose whole manner is full of animal passion is not worthy of +the respect of refined women. They have no thoughts, no ideas, no +sentiments, nothing to interest them but the bodies of women whom +they behold. The moral character of young women has no significance +or weight in their eyes. This kind of men are a curse to society and a +danger to the community. No young lady is safe in their company. + +8. REBUKING SENSUALISM.--If the young women would exercise an honorable +independence and heap contempt upon the young men that allow their +imagination to take such liberties, a different state of things would +soon follow. Men of that type of character should have no recognition +in the presence of ladies. + +9. EARLY MARRIAGES.--There can be no doubt that early marriages are +bad for both parties. For children of such a marriage always lack +vitality. The ancient Germans did not marry until the twenty-fourth +or twenty-fifth year, previous to which they observed the most rigid +chastity, and in consequence they acquired a size and strength that +excited the astonishment of Europe. The present incomparable vigor of +that race, both physically and mentally, is due in a great measure to +their long established aversion to marrying young. The results of too +early marriages are in brief, stunted growth and impaired strength +on the part of the male; delicate if not utterly bad health in the +female; the premature old age or death of one or both, and a puny, +sickly offspring. + +10. SIGNS OF EXCESSES.--Dr. Dio Lewis says: "Some of the most common +effects of sexual excess are backache, lassitude, giddiness, dimness +of sight, noises in the ears, numbness of the fingers, and paralysis. +The drain is universal, but the more sensitive organs and tissues +suffer most. So the nervous system gives way and continues the +principal sufferer throughout. A large part of the premature loss of +sight and hearing, dizziness, numbness and pricking in the hands +and feet, and other kindred developments, are justly chargeable to +unbridled venery. Not unfrequently you see men whose head or back or +nerve testifies of such reckless expenditure." + +11. NON-COMPLETED INTERCOURSE.--Withdrawal before the emission occurs +is injurious to both parties. The soiling of the conjugal bed by the +shameful manoeuvres is to be deplored. + +12. THE EXTENT OF THE PRACTICE.--One cannot tell to what extent this +vice is practiced, except by observing its consequences, even among +people who fear to commit the slightest sin, to such a degree is the +public conscience perverted upon this point. Still, many husbands know +that nature often renders nugatory the most subtle calculations, and +reconquers the rights which they have striven to frustrate. No matter; +they persevere none the less, and by the force of habit they poison +the most blissful moments of life, with no surety of averting the +result that they fear. So who knows if the too often feeble and +weakened infants are not the fruit of these in themselves incomplete +procreations, and disturbed by preoccupations foreign to the natural +act. + +13. HEALTH OF WOMEN.--Furthermore, the moral relations existing between +the married couple undergo unfortunate changes; this affection, +founded upon reciprocal esteem, is little by little effaced by the +repetition of an act which pollutes the marriage bed. If the good +harmony of families and the reciprocal relations are seriously menaced +by the invasion of these detestable practices, the health of women, as +we have already intimated, is fearfully injured. + +14. CROWNING SIN OF THE AGE.--Then there is the crime of abortion which +is so prevalent in these days. It is the crowning sin of the age, +though in a broader sense it includes all those sins that are +committed to limit the size of the family. "It lies at the root of our +spiritual life," says Rev. B.D. Sinclair, "and though secret in its +nature, paralyzes Christian life and neutralizes every effort for +righteousness which the church puts forth." + +15. SEXUAL EXHAUSTION.--Every sexual excitement is exhaustive in +proportion to its intensity and continuance. If a man sits by the side +of a woman, fondles and kisses her three or four hours, and allows his +imagination to run riot with sexual visions, he will be five times as +much exhausted as he would by the act culminating in emission. It is +the sexual excitement more than the emission which exhausts. As shown +in another part of this work, thoughts of sexual intimacies, long +continued, lead to the worst effects. To a man, whose imagination +is filled with erotic fancies the emission comes as a merciful +interruption to the burning, harassing and wearing excitement which so +constantly goads him. + +16. THE DESIRE OF GOOD.--The desire of good for its own sake--this is +Love. The desire of good for bodily pleasure--this is Lust. Man is a +moral being, and as such should always act in the animal sphere +according to the spiritual law. Hence, to break the law of the highest +creative action for the mere gratification of animal instinct is to +perform the act of sin and to produce the corruption of nature. + +17. CAUSE OF PROSTITUTION.--Dr. Dio Lewis says: "Occasionally we meet a +diseased female with excessive animal passion, but such a case is +very rare. The average woman has so little sexual desire that if +licentiousness depended upon her, uninfluenced by her desire to please +man or secure his support, there would be very little sexual excess. +Man is strong he has all the money and all the facilities for business +and pleasure; and woman is not long in learning the road to his favor. +Many prostitutes who take no pleasure in their unclean intimacies not +only endure a disgusting life for the favor and means thus gained, +but affect intense passion in their sexual contacts because they have +learned that such exhibitions gratify men." + +18. HUSBAND'S BRUTALITY.--Husbands! It is your licentiousness that +drives your wives to a deed so abhorrent to their every wifely, +womanly and maternal instinct a deed which ruins the health of their +bodies, prostitutes their souls, and makes marriage, maternity and +womanhood itself degrading and loathsome. No terms can sufficiently +characterize the cruelty, meanness and disgusting selfishness of your +conduct when you impose on them a maternity so detested as to drive +them to the desperation of killing their unborn children and often +themselves. + +19. WHAT DRUNKARDS BEQUEATH TO THEIR OFFSPRING.--Organic imperfections +unfit the brain for sane action, and habit confirms the insane +condition; the man's brain has become unsound. Then comes in the +law of hereditary descent, by which the brain of a man's children +is fashioned after his own not as it was originally, but as it has +become, in consequence of frequent functional disturbance. Hence, +of all appetites, the inherited appetite for drunkenness is the most +direful. Natural laws contemplate no exceptions, and sins against them +are never pardoned. + +20. THE REPORTS OF HOSPITALS.--The reports of hospitals for lunatics +almost universally assign intemperance as one of the causes which +predispose a man's offspring to insanity. This is even more strikingly +manifested in the case of congenital idiocy. They come generally from +a class of families which seem to have degenerated physically to a low +degree. They are puny and sickly. + +21. SECRET DISEASES.--See the weakly, sickly and diseased children who +are born only to suffer and die, all because of the private disease +of the father before his marriage. Oh, let the truth be told that the +young men of our land may learn the lessons of purity of life. Let +them learn that in morality there is perfect protection and happiness. + +[Illustration: GETTING A DIVORCE.] + +[Illustration: THE DEGENERATE TURK.] + + + * * * * * + +PHYSICAL AND MORAL DEGENERACY. + + +1. MORAL PRINCIPLE.--"Edgar Allen Poe, Lord Byron, and Robert Burns," +says Dr. Geo. F. Hall, "were men of marvelous strength intellectually. +But measured by the true rule of high moral principle, they were very +weak. Superior endowment in a single direction--physical, mental, or +spiritual--is not of itself sufficient to make one strong in all that +that heroic word means. + +2. INSANE ASYLUM.--many a good man spiritually has gone to an untimely +grave because of impaired physical powers. Many a good man spiritually +has gone to the insane asylum because of bodily and mental weaknesses. +Many a good man spiritually has fallen from virtue in an evil moment +because of a weakened will, or a too demanding fleshly passion, or, +worse than either, too lax views on the subject of personal chastity." + +3. BOYS LEARNING VICES.--some ignorant and timid people argue that +boys and young men in reading a work of this character will learn +vices concerning which they had never so much as dreamed of before. +This is, however, certain, that vices cannot be condemned unless they +are mentioned; and if the condemnation is strong enough it surely will +be a source of strength and of security. If light and education, on +these important subjects, does injury, then all knowledge likewise +must do more wrong than good. Knowledge is power, and the only hope of +the race is enlightenment on all subjects pertaining to their being. + +4. MORAL MANHOOD.--it is clearly visible that the American manhood +is rotting down--decaying at the center. The present generation shows +many men of a small body and weak principles, and men and women +of this kind are becoming more and more prevalent. Dissipation +and indiscretions of all kind are working ruin. Purity of life and +temperate habits are being too generally disregarded. + +5. YOUNG WOMEN.--the vast majority of graduates from the schools and +colleges of our land to-day, and two-thirds of the membership of our +churches, and three-fourths of the charitable workers, are females. +Everywhere girls are carrying off most of the prizes in competitive +examinations, because women, as a sex, naturally maintain a better +character, take better care of their bodies, and are less addicted +to bad and injurious habits. While all this is true in reference to +females, you will find that the male sex furnishes almost the entire +number of criminals. The saloons, gambling dens, the brothels, and bad +literature are drawing down all that the public schools can build +up. Seventy per cent. Of the young men of this land do not darken the +church door. They are not interested in moral improvement or moral +education. Eighty-five per cent. Leave school under 15 years of age; +prefer the loafer's honors to the benefit of school. + +6. PROMOTION.--the world is full of good places for good young men, +and all the positions of trust now occupied by the present generation +will soon be filled by the competent young men of the coming +generation; and he that keeps his record clean, lives a pure life, and +avoids excesses or dissipations of all kinds, and fortifies his life +with good habits, is the young man who will be heard from, and a +thousand places will be open for his services. + +7. PERSONAL PURITY.--Dr. George F. Hall says: "why not pay careful +attention to man in all his elements of strength, physical, mental, +and moral? Why not make personal purity a fixed principle in the +manhood of the present and coming generation, and thus insure the best +men the world has ever seen? It can be done. Let every reader of these +lines resolve that he will be one to help do it." + +[Illustration: Charles Dickens' chair and desk.] + + + * * * * * + +IMMORALITY, DISEASE AND DEATH. + + +1. THE POLICY OF SILENCE.--there is no greater delusion than to +suppose that vast number of boys know nothing about practices of sin. +Some parents are afraid that unclean thoughts may be suggested by +these very defences. The danger is slight. Such cases are barely +possible, but when the untold thousands are thought of on the other +side, who have been demoralized from childhood through ignorance, and +who are to-day suffering the result of these vicious practices, +the policy of silence stands condemned, and intelligent knowledge +abundantly justified. The emphatic words of scripture are true in this +respect also, "the people are destroyed for lack of knowledge." + +2. LIVING ILLUSTRATION.--without fear of truthful contradiction, we +affirm that the homes, public assemblies, and streets of all our +large cities abound to-day with living illustrations and proofs of the +widespread existence of this physical and moral scourge. An enervated +and stunted manhood, a badly developed physique, a marked absence +of manly and womanly strength and beauty, are painfully common +everywhere. Boys and girls, young men and women, exist by thousands, +of whom it may be said, they were badly born and ill-developed. Many +of them are, to some extent, bearing the penalty of the [transcriber's +note: the text appears to read "sins" but it is unclear] and excesses +of their parents, especially their fathers, whilst the great majority +are reaping the fruits of their own immorality in a dwarfed and +ill-formed body, and effeminate appearance, weak and enervated mind. + +3. EFFEMINATE AND SICKLY YOUNG MEN.--the purposeless and aimless life +of any number of effeminate and sickly young men, is to be distinctly +attributed to these sins. The large class of mentally impotent +"ne'er-do-wells" are being constantly recruited and added to by those +who practice what the celebrated Erichson calls "that hideous sin +engendered by vice, and practiced in solitude"--the sin, be it +observed, which is the common cause of physical and mental weakness, +and of the fearfully impoverishing night-emissions, or as they are +commonly called, "wet-dreams." + +4. WEAKNESS, DISEASE, DEFORMITY, AND DEATH.--Through self-pollution +and fornication the land is being corrupted with weakness, disease, +deformity, and death. We regret to say that we cannot speak with +confidence concerning the moral character of the Jew; but we have +people amongst us who have deservedly a high character for the tone of +their moral life--we refer to the members of the Society of Friends. +The average of life amongst these reaches no less than fifty-six +years; and, whilst some allowance must be made for the fact that +amongst the Friends the poor have not a large representation, these +figures show conclusively the soundness of this position. + +5. SOWING THEIR WILD OATS.--It is monstrous to suppose that healthy +children should die just as they are coming to manhood. The fact that +thousands of young people do reach the age of sixteen or eighteen, and +then decline and die, should arouse parents to ask the question: Why? +Certainly it would not be difficult to tell the reason in thousands +of instances, and yet the habit and practice of the deadly sin of +self-pollution is actually ignored; it is even spoken of as a boyish +folly not to be mentioned, and young men literally burning up with +lust are mildly spoken of as "sowing their wild oats." Thus the +cemetery is being filled with masses of the youth of America who, as +in Egypt of old, fill up the graves of uncleanness and lust. Some time +since a prominent Christian man was taking exception to my addressing +men on this subject; observe this! one of his own sons was at that +very time near the lunatic asylum through these disgusting sins. What +folly and madness this is! + +6. DEATH TO TRUE MANHOOD.--The question for each one is, "In what way +are you going to divert the courses of the streams of energy which +pertain to youthful vigor and manhood?" To be destitute of that which +may be described as raw material in the human frame, means that no +really vigorous manhood can have place; to burn up the juices of the +system in the fires of lust is madness and wanton folly, but it can be +done. To divert the currents of life and energy from blood and brain, +from memory and muscle, in order to secrete it for the shambles of +prostitution, is death to true manhood; but remember, it can be done! +The generous liquid life may inspire the brain and blood with noble +impulse and vital force, or it may be sinned away and drained out of +the system until the jaded brain, the faded cheek, the enervated young +manhood, the gray hair, narrow chest, weak voice, and the enfeebled +mind show another victim in the long catalogue of the degraded through +lust. + +7. THE SISTERHOOD OF SHAME AND DEATH.--Whenever we pass the sisterhood +of death, and hear the undertone of song, which is one of the harlot's +methods of advertising, let us recall the words, that these represent +the "pestilence which walketh in darkness, the destruction that +wasteth at noonday." The allusion, of course, is to the fact that the +great majority of these harlots are full of loathsome physical and +moral disease; with the face and form of an angel, these women "bite +like a serpent and sting like an adder;" their traffic is not for +life, but inevitably for shame, disease, and death. Betrayed and +seduced themselves, they in their turn betray and curse others. + +8. WARNING OTHERS.--Have you never been struck with the argument +of the Apostle, who, warning others from the corrupt example of the +fleshy Esau, said, "Lest there be any fornicator or profane person as +Esau, who for one mess of meat sold his own birthright. For ye know +that even afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he +was rejected, he found no place for repentance, though he sought it +diligently with tears." Terrible and striking words are these. His +birthright sold for a mess of meat. The fearful costs of sin--yes, +that is the thought, particularly the sin of fornication! Engrave that +word upon your memories and hearts--"One mess of meat." + +9. THE HARLOT'S MESS OF MEAT.--Remember it, young men, when you are +tempted to this sin. For a few minutes' sensual pleasure, for a mess +of harlot's meat, young men are paying out the love of the son and +brother; they are deceiving, lying, and cheating for a mess of meat; +for a mess, not seldom of putrid flesh, men have paid down purity and +prayer, manliness and godliness; for a mess of meat some perhaps have +donned their best attire, and assumed the manners of the gentleman, +and then, like an infernal hypocrite flogged the steps of maiden or +harlot to satisfy their degrading lust; for a mess of meat young men +have deceived father and mother, and shrunk from the embrace of +love of the pure-minded sister. For the harlot's mess of meat some +listening to me have spent scores of hours of invaluable time. They +have wearied the body, diseased and demoralized the mind. The pocket +has been emptied, theft committed, lies unnumbered told, to play the +part of the harlot's mate--perchance a six-foot fool, dragged into +the filth and mire of the harlot's house. You called her your friend, +when, but for her mess of meat, you would have passed her like dirt in +the street. + +10. SEEING LIFE.--You consorted with her for your mutual shame and +death, and then called it "seeing life." Had your mother met you, you +would have shrunk away like a craven cur. Had your sister interviewed +you, she had blushed to bear your name; or had she been seen by you in +company with some other whoremaster, for similar commerce, you would +have wished that she had been dead. Now what think you of this "seeing +life?" And it is for this that tens of thousands of strong men in our +large cities are selling their birthright. + +11. THE DEVIL'S DECOYS.--Some may be ready to affirm that physical and +moral penalties do not appear to overtake all men; that many men known +to be given to intemperance and sensuality are strong, well, and live +to a good age. Let us not make any mistake concerning these; they are +exceptions to the rule; the appearance of health in them is but the +grossness of sensuality. You have only carefully to look into the +faces of these men to see that their countenances, eyes, and speech +betray them. They are simply the devil's decoys. + +12. GROSSNESS OF SENSUALITY.--The poor degraded harlot draws in the +victims like a heavily charged lodestone; these men are found in large +numbers throughout the entire community; they would make fine men were +they not weighted with the grossness of sensuality; as it is, they +frequent the race-course, the card-table, the drinking-saloon, the +music-hall, and the low theaters, which abound in our cities and +towns; the great majority of these are men of means and leisure. +Idleness is their curse, their opportunity for sin; you may know them +as the loungers over refreshment-bars, as the retailers of the latest +filthy joke, or as the vendors of some disgusting scandal; indeed, it +is appalling the number of these lepers found both in our business and +social circles. + +[Illustration: PALESTINE WATER CARRIERS.] + + + * * * * * + +POISONOUS LITERATURE AND BAD PICTURES. + + +1. OBSCENE LITERATURE.--No other source contributes so much to sexual +immorality as obscene literature. The mass of stories published in the +great weeklies and the cheap novels are mischievous. When the devil +determines to take charge of a young soul, be often employs a +very ingenious method. He slyly hands a little novel filled with +"voluptuous forms," "reclining on bosoms," "languishing eyes," etc. + +2. MORAL FORCES.--The world is full of such literature. It is easily +accessible, for it is cheap, and the young will procure it, and +therefore become easy prey to its baneful influence and effects. It +weakens the moral forces of the young, and they thereby fall an easy +prey before the subtle schemes of the libertine. + +3. BAD BOOKS.--Bad books play not a small part in the corruption of the +youth. A bad book is as bad as an evil companion. In some respects it +is even worse than a living teacher of vice, since it may cling to an +individual at all times. It will follow him and poison his mind with +the venom of evil. The influence of bad books in making bad boys and +men is little appreciated. Few are aware how much evil seed is being +sown among the young everywhere through the medium of vile books. + +4. SENSATIONAL STORY BOOKS.--Much of the evil literature which is sold +in nickel and dime novels, and which constitutes the principal part +of the contents of such papers as the "Police Gazette," the "Police +News," and a large proportion of the sensational story books which +flood the land. You might better place a coal of fire or a live viper +in your bosom, than allow yourself to read such a book. The thoughts +that are implanted in the mind in youth will often stick there through +life, in spite of all efforts to dislodge them. + +5. PAPERS AND MAGAZINES.--Many of the papers and magazines sold at +our news stands, and eagerly sought after by young men and boys, are +better suited for the parlors of a house of ill-fame than for the +eyes of pure-minded youth. A newsdealer who will distribute such vile +sheets ought to be dealt with as an educator in vice and crime, an +agent of evil, and a recruiting officer of hell and perdition. + +6. SENTIMENTAL LITERATURE OF LOW FICTION.--Sentimental literature, +whether impure in its subject matter or not, has a direct tendency in +the direction of impurity. The stimulation of the emotional nature, +the instilling of sentimental ideas into the minds of the young, has +a tendency to turn the thoughts into a channel which leads in the +direction of the formation of vicious habits. + +7. IMPRESSIONS LEFT BY READING QUESTIONABLE LITERATURE.--It is +painful to see strong intelligent men and youths reading bad books, +or feasting their eyes on filthy pictures, for the practice is sure +to affect their personal purity. Impressions will be left which cannot +fail to breed a legion of impure thoughts, and in many instances +criminal deeds. Thousands of elevator boys, clerks, students, +traveling men, and others, patronize the questionable literature +counter to an alarming extent. + +8. THE NUDE IN ART.--For years there has been a great craze after +the nude in art, and the realistic in literature. Many art galleries +abound in pictures and statuary which cannot fail to fan the fires +of sensualism, unless the thoughts of the visitor are trained to the +strictest purity. Why should artists and sculptors persist in shocking +the finer sensibilities of old and young of both sexes by crowding +upon their view representations of naked human forms in attitudes of +luxurious abandon? Public taste may demand it. But let those who have +the power endeavor to reform public taste. + +9. WIDELY DIFFUSED.--Good men have ever lamented the pernicious +influence of a depraved and perverted literature. But such literature +has never been so systematically and widely diffused as at the present +time. This is owing to two causes, its cheapness and the facility of +conveyance. + +10. INFLAME THE PASSIONS.--A very large proportion of the works thus +put in circulation are of the worst character, tending to corrupt +the principles, to inflame the passions, to excite impure desire, +and spread a blight over all the powers of the soul. Brothels are +recruited from this more than any other source. Those who search the +trunks of convicted criminals are almost sure to find in them one of +more of these works; and few prisoners who can read at all fail to +enumerate among the causes which led them into crime the unhealthy +stimulus of this depraved and poisonous literature. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration] + + + * * * * * + +STARTLING SINS. + + +1. NAMELESS CRIMES.--The nameless crimes identified with the hushed-up +Sodomite cases; the revolting condition of the school of Sodomy; the +revelations of the Divorce Court concerning the condition of what is +called national nobility, and upper classes, as well as the unclean +spirit which attaches to "society papers," has revealed a condition +which is perfectly disgusting. + +2. UNFAITHFULNESS.--Unfaithfulness amongst husbands and wives in the +upper classes is common and adultery rife everywhere; mistresses are +kept in all directions; thousands of these rich men have at least two, +and not seldom three establishments. + +3. A FRIGHTFUL INCREASE.--Facts which have come to light during +the past ten years show a frightful increase in every form of +licentiousness; the widely extended area over which whoredom and +degrading lust have thrown the glamor of their fascinating toils is +simply appalling. + +4. MORAL CARNAGE.--We speak against the fearful moral carnage; would +to God that some unmistakable manifestation of the wrath of God +should come in and put a stop to this huge seed-plot of national +demoralization! We are reaping in this disgusting center the harvest +of corruption which has come from the toleration and encouragements +given by the legislature, the police, and the magistrates to +immorality, vice and sin; the awful fact is that we are in the midst +of the foul and foetid harvest of lust. Aided by some of the most +exalted personages in the land, assisted by thousands of educated +and wealthy whoremongers and adulterers, we are reaping also, in +individual physical ugliness and deformity, that which has been sown; +the puny, ill-formed and mentally weak youths and maidens, men and +women, to be seen in large numbers in our principal towns and cities, +represent the widespread nature of the curse, which has, in a marked +manner, impaired the physique, the morality, and the intelligence of +the nation. + +5. DAILY PRESS.--The daily press has not had the moral courage to +say one word; the quality of demoralizing novels such as have been +produced from the impure brain and unclean imaginations; the subtle, +clever and fascinating undermining of the white-winged angel of purity +by modern sophists, whose purient and vicious volumes were written to +throw a halo of charm and beauty about the brilliant courtesan and +the splendid adulteress; the mixing up of lust and love; the making +of corrupt passion to stand in the garb of a deep, lasting, and holy +affection--these are some of the hidious seedlings which, hidden amid +the glamor and fascination of the seeming "angel of light," have to so +large an extent corrupted the morality of the country. + +6. NIGHTLY EXHIBITIONS.--Some of you know what the nightly exhibitions +in these garlanded temples of whorish incentive are. There is +the variety theatre with its disgusting ballet dancing, and its +shamelessly indecent photographs exhibited in every direction. What a +clear gain to morality it would be if the accursed houses were burnt +down, and forbidden by law ever to be re-built or re-opened; the +whole scene is designed to act upon and stimulate the lusts and evil +passions of corrupt men and women. + +7. CONFIDENCE AND EXPOSURE.--I hear some of you say, cannot some +influence be brought to bear upon this plague-spot? Will the +legislature or congress do nothing? Is the law and moral right to +continue to be trodden under foot? Are the magistrates and the police +powerless? The truth is, the harlots and whoremongers are master of +the situation; the moral sense of the legislators, the magistrates, +and the police is so low that anything like confidence is at present +out of the question. + +8. THE SISTERHOOD OF SHAME AND DEATH.--It is enough to make angels +weep to see a great mass of America's wealthy and better-class sons +full of zeal and on fire with interest in the surging hundreds of +the sisterhood of shame and death. Many of these men act as if they +were--if they do not believe they are--dogs. No poor hunted dog in the +streets was ever tracked by a yelping crowd of curs more than is the +fresh girl or chance of a maid in the accursed streets of our large +cities. Price is no object, nor parentage, nor home; it is the truth +to affirm that hundreds and thousands of well-dressed and educated +men come in order to the gratification of their lusts, and to this end +they frequent this whole district; they have reached this stage, +they are being burned up in this fire of lust; men of whom God says, +"Having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease sin." + +9. LAW MAKERS.--Now should any member of the legislature rise up and +testify against this "earthly hell," and speak in defence of the moral +manhood and womanhood of the nation, he would be greeted as a fanatic, +and laughed down amid derisive cheers; such has been the experience +again and again. Therefore attack this great stronghold which for the +past thirty years has warred and is warring against our social manhood +and womanhood, and constantly undermining the moral life of the +nation; against this citadel of licentiousness, this metropolitan +centre of crime, and vice, and sin, direct your full blast of +righteous and manly indignation. + +10. TEMPLES OF LUST.--Here stand the foul and splendid temples of +lust, intemperance, and passion, into whose vortex tens of thousands +of our sons and daughters are constantly being drawn. Let it be +remembered that this whole area represents the most costly conditions, +and proves beyond Question that an enormous proportion of the wealthy +manhood of the nation, and we as citizens sustain, partake, and share +in this carnival of death. Is it any wonder that the robust type +of godly manhood which used to be found in the legislature is sadly +wanting now, or that the wretched caricatures of manhood which find +form and place in such papers as "Truth" and the "World" are accepted +as representing "modern society?" + +11. PURITANIC MANHOOD.--It is a melancholy fact that, by reason of +uncleanness, we have almost lost regard for the type of puritanic +manhood which in the past held aloft the standard of a chaste and +holy life; such men in this day are spoken of as "too slow" as +"weak-kneed," and "goody-goody" men. Let me recall that word, the +fast and indecently-dressed "things," the animals of easy virtue, the +"respectable" courtesans that flirt, chaff, gamble, and waltz +with well-known high-class licentious lepers--such is the ideal of +womanhood which a large proportion of our large city society accepts, +fawns upon, and favors. + +[Illustration] + +12. SHAMEFUL CONDITIONS.--Perhaps one of the most inhuman and shameful +conditions of modern fashionable society, both in England and America, +is that which wealthy men and women who are married destroy their own +children in the embryo stage of being, and become murderers thereby. +This is done to prevent what should become one of our chief glories, +viz., large and well-developed [Transcriber's note: the text appears +to read "home" but it is unclear] and family life. + + + * * * * * + +THE PROSTITUTION OF MEN. + +CAUSE AND REMEDY. + + +1. EXPOSED YOUTH.--Generally even in the beginning of the period when +sexual uneasiness begins to show itself in the boy, he is exposed in +schools, institutes, and elsewhere to the temptations of secret +vice, which is transmitted from youth to youth, like a contagious +corruption, and which in thousands destroys the first germs of +virility. Countless numbers of boys are addicted to these vices for +years. That they do not in the beginning of nascent puberty proceed to +sexual intercourse with women, is generally due to youthful timidity, +which dares not reveal its desire, or from want of experience for +finding opportunities. The desire is there, for the heart is already +corrupted. + +2. BOYHOOD TIMIDITY OVERCOME.--Too often a common boy's timidity is +overcome by chance or by seduction, which is rarely lacking in great +cities where prostitution is flourishing, and thus numbers of boys +immediately after the transition period of youth, in accordance with +the previous secret practice, accustom themselves to the association +with prostitute women, and there young manhood and morals are soon +lost forever. + +3. MARRIAGE-BED RESOLUTIONS.--Most men of the educated classes enter +the marriage-bed with the consciousness of leaving behind them a whole +army of prostitutes or seduced women, in whose arms they cooled their +passions and spent the vigor of their youth. But with such a past the +married man does not at the same time leave behind him its influence +on his inclinations. The habit of having a feminine being at his +disposal for every rising appetite, and the desire for change +inordinately indulged for years, generally make themselves felt again +as soon as the honeymoon is over. Marriage will not make a morally +corrupt man all at once a good man and a model husband. + +4. THE INJUSTICE OF MAN.--Now, although many men are in a certain +sense "not worthy to unloose the latchet of the shoes" of the +commonest woman, much less to "unfasten her girdle," yet they make +the most extravagant demands on the feminine sex. Even the greatest +debauchee, who has spent his vigor in the arms of a hundred +courtesans, will cry out fraud and treachery if he does not receive +his newly married bride as an untouched virgin. Even the most +dissolute husband will look on his wife as deserving of death if his +daily infidelity is only once reciprocated. + +5. UNJUST DEMANDS.--The greater the injustice a husband does to his +wife, the less he is willing to submit to from her; the oftener he +becomes unfaithful to her, the stricter he is in demanding +faithfulness from her. We see that despotism nowhere denies its own +nature: the more a despot deceives and abuses his people, the more +submissiveness and faithfulness he demands of them. + +6. SUFFERING WOMEN.--Who can be astonished at the many unhappy +marriages, if he knows how unworthy most men are of their wives? Their +virtues they rarely can appreciate, and their vices they generally +call out by their own. Thousands of women suffer from the results of +a mode of life of which they, having remained pure in their thought, +have no conception whatever; and many an unsuspecting wife nurses her +husband with tenderest care in sicknesses which are nothing more than +the consequences of his amours with other women. + +7. AN INHUMAN CRIMINAL.--When at last, after long years of delusion +and endurance, the scales drop from the eyes of the wife, and revenge +or despair drives her into a hostile position towards her lord and +master, she is an inhuman criminal, and the hue and cry against the +fickleness of women and the falsity of their nature is endless. Oh, +the injustice of society and the injustice of cruel man. Is there no +relief for helpless women that are bound by the ties of marriage to +men who are nothing but rotten corruption? + +8. VULGAR DESIRE.--The habit of regarding the end and aim of woman +only from the most vulgar side--not to respect in her the noble human +being, but to see in her only the instrument of sensual desire--is +carried so far among men that they will allow it to force into the +background considerations among themselves, which they otherwise +pretend to rank very high. + +9. THE ONLY REMEDY.--But when the feeling of women has once been +driven to indignation with respect to the position which they +occupy, it is to be hoped that they will compel men to be pure before +marriage, and they will remain loyal after marriage. + +10. WORSE THAN SAVAGES.--With all our civilization we are put to shame +even by the savages. The savages know of no fastidiousness of the +sexual instinct and of no brothels. We are, indeed, likewise savages, +but in quite a different sense. Proof of this is especially furnished +by our youth. But that our students, and young men in general, usually +pass through the school of corruption and drag the filth of the road +which they have traversed before marriage along with them throughout +life, is not their fault so much as the fault of prejudices and of our +political and social conditions that prohibits a proper education, and +the placing of the right kind of literature on these subjects into the +hands of young people. + +[Illustration] + +11. REASON AND REMEDY.--Keep the youth pure by a thorough system +of plain unrestricted training. The seeds of immorality are sown in +youth, and the secret vice eats out their young manhood often before +the age of puberty. They develop a bad character as they grow older. +Young girls are ruined, and licentiousness and prostitution flourish. +Keep the boys pure and the harlot would soon lose her vocation. +Elevate the morals of the boys, and you will have pure men and moral +husbands. + +[Illustration: SUICIDE LAKE.] + + + * * * * * + +THE ROAD TO SHAME. + + +1. INSULT TO MOTHER OR SISTER.--Young men, it can never tinder any +circumstances be right for you to do to a woman that, which, if +another man did to your mother or sister, you could never forgive! +The very thought is revolting. Let us suppose a man guilty of this +shameful sin, and I apprehend that each of us would feel ready to +shoot the villain. We are not justifying the shooting, but appealing +to your instinctive sense of right, in order to show the enormity +of this fearful crime, and to fasten strong conviction in your mind +against this sin. + +2. A RUINED SISTER.--What would you think of a man, no matter what his +wealth, culture, or gentlemanly bearing, who should lay himself out +for the seduction and shame of your beloved sister? Her very name now +reminds you of the purest affection: think of her, if you can bear it, +ruined in character, and soon to become an unhappy mother. To whom can +you introduce her? What can you say concerning her? How can her own +brothers and sisters associate with her? and, mark! all this personal +and relative misery caused by this genteel villain's degrading +passion. + +3. YOUNG MAN LOST.--Another terrible result of this sin is the +practical overthrow of natural affection which it effects. A young man +comes from his father's house to Chicago. Either through his own +lust or through the corrupt companions that he finds in the house of +business where he resides, he becomes the companion of lewd women. The +immediate result is a bad conscience, a sense of shame, and a breach +in the affections of home. Letters are less frequent, careless, and +brief. He cannot manifest true love now. He begins to shrink from his +sister and mother, and well he may. + +4. THE HARLOT'S INFLUENCE.--He has spent the strength of his affection +and love for home. In their stead the wretched harlot has filled him +with unholy lust. His brain and heart refuse to yield him the love of +the son and brother. His hand can not write as aforetime, or at +best, his expressions become a hypocritical pretence. Fallen into +the degradation of the fornicator, he has changed a mother's love and +sister's affection for the cursed fellowship of the woman "whose house +is the way to hell." (Prov. VII. 27.) + +5. THE WAY OF DEATH.--Observe, that directly the law of God is broken, +and wherever promiscuous intercourse between the sexes takes place, +gonorrhoea, syphilis, and every other form of venereal disease is +seen in hideous variety. It is only true to say that thousands of both +sexes are slain annually by these horrible diseases. What must be +the moral enormity of a sin, which, when committed, produces in vast +numbers of cases such frightful physical and moral destruction as that +which is here portrayed? + +6. A HARLOT'S WOES.--Would to God that something might be done to +rescue fallen women from their low estate. We speak of them as "fallen +women". Fallen, indeed, they are, but surely not more deserving of the +application of that term than the "fallen men" who are their partners +and paramours. It is easy to use the words "a fallen woman," but who +can apprehend all that is involved in the expression, seeing +that every purpose for which God created woman is prostituted and +destroyed? She is now neither maiden, wife, nor mother; the sweet +names of sister and betrothed can have no legitimate application in +her case. + +7. THE PENALTIES FOR LOST VIRTUE.--Can the harlot be welcomed where +either children, brothers, sisters, wife, or husband are found? +Surely, no. Home is a sphere alien to the harlot's estate. See such +an one wherever you may--she is a fallen outcast from woman's high +estate. Her existence--for she does not live--now culminates in one +dread issue, viz., prostitution. She sleeps, but awakes a harlot. She +rises in the late morning hours, but her object is prostitution; she +washes, dresses, and braids her hair, but it is with one foul purpose +before her. To this end she eats, drinks, and is clothed. To this end +her house is hidden and the blinds are drawn. + +8. LOST FOREVER.--To this end she applies the unnatural cosmetique, +and covers herself with sweet perfumes, which vainly try to hide her +disease and shame. To this end she decks herself with dashing finery +and tawdry trappings, and with bold, unwomanly mien essays the streets +of the great city. To this end she is loud and coarse and impudent. +To this end she is the prostituted "lady," with simpering words, and +smiles, and glamour of refined deceit. To this end an angel face, a +devil in disguise. There is one foul and ghastly purpose towards which +all her energies now tend. So low has she fallen, so lost is she to +all the design of woman, that she exists for one foul purpose only, +viz., to excite, stimulate, and gratify the lusts of degraded, ungodly +men. Verily, the word "prostitute" has an awful meaning. What plummet +can sound the depths of a woman's fall who has become a harlot? + +9. SOUND THE ALARM.--Remember, young man, you can never rise above the +degradation of the companionship of lewd women. Your virtue once lost +is lost forever. Remember, young woman, your wealth or riches is your +good name and good character--you have nothing else. Give a man your +virtue and he will forsake you, and you will be forsaken by all the +world. Remember that purity of purpose brings nobility of character, +and an honorable life is the joy and security of mankind. + +[Illustration: THE GREAT PHILANTHROPIST.] + + + * * * * * + +THE CURSE OF MANHOOD. + + +1. MORAL LEPERS.--We cannot but denounce, in the strongest terms, +the profligacy of many married men. Not content with the moderation +permitted in the divine appointed relationship of marriage, they +become adulterers, in order to gratify their accursed lust. The man in +them is trodden down by the sensual beast which reigns supreme. +These are the moral outlaws that make light of this scandalous social +iniquity, and by their damnable example encourage young men to sin. + +2. A SAD CONDITION.--It is constantly affirmed by prostitutes, that +amongst married men are found their chief supporters. Evidence +from such a quarter must be received with considerable caution. +Nevertheless, we believe that there is much truth in this statement. +Here, again, we lay the ax to the root of the tree; the married man +who dares affirm that there is a particle of physical necessity for +this sin, is a liar, and the truth is not in him. Whether these men be +princes, peers, legislators, professional men, mechanics, or workmen, +they are moral pests, a scandal to the social state, and a curse to +the nation. + +3. EXCESSES.--Many married men exhaust themselves by these excesses; +they become irritable, liable to cold, to rheumatic affections, and +nervous depression. They find themselves weary when they rise in +the morning. Unfitted for close application to business, they become +dilatory and careless, often lapsing into entire lack of energy, +and not seldom into the love of intoxicating stimulants. Numbers of +husbands and wives entering upon these experiences lose the charm +of health, the cheerfulness of life and converse. Home duties become +irksome to the wife; the brightness, vivacity, and bloom natural +to her earlier years, decline; she is spoken of as highly nervous, +poorly, and weak, when the whole truth is that she is suffering +from physical exhaustion which she cannot bear. Her features become +angular, her hair prematurely gray, she rapidly settles down into the +nervous invalid, constantly needing medical aid, and, if possible, +change of air. + +4. IGNORANCE.--These conditions are brought about in many cases +through ignorance on the part of those who are married. Multitudes of +men have neither read, heard, nor known the truth of this question. +We sympathize with our fellow-men in this, that we have been left in +practical ignorance concerning the exceeding value and legitimate uses +of these functions of our being. Some know, that, had they known these +things in the early days of their married life, it would have proved +to them knowledge of exceeding value. If this counsel is followed, +thousands of homes will scarcely know the need of the physician's +presence. + +5. ANIMAL PASSION.--Commonsense teaches that children who are begotten +in the heat of animal passion, are likely to be licentious when they +grow up. Many parents through excesses of eating and drinking, +become inflamed with wine and strong drink. They are sensualists, and +consequently, morally diseased. Now, if in such conditions men beget +their children, who can affect surprise if they develop licentious +tendencies? Are not such parents largely to blame? Are they not +criminals in a high degree? Have they not fouled their own nest, and +transmitted to their children predisposition to moral evil? + +6. FAST YOUNG MEN.--Many of our "fast young men" have been thus +corrupted, even as the children of the intemperate are proved to have +been. Certainly no one can deny that many of our "well-bred" young +men are little better than "high-class dogs" so lawless are they, and +ready for the arena of licentiousness. + +7. THE PURE-MINDED WIFE.--Happily, as tens of thousands of husbands +can testify, the pure-minded wife and mother is not carried away, as +men are liable to be, with the force of animal passion. Were it not +so, the tendencies to licentiousness in many sons would be stronger +than they are. In the vast majority of cases suggestion is never made +except by the husband, and it is a matter of deepest gratitude and +consideration, that the true wife may become a real helpmeet in +restraining this desire in the husband. + +8. YOUNG WIFE AND CHILDREN.--We often hear it stated that a young wife +has her children quickly. This cannot happen to the majority of women +without injury to health and jeopardy to life. The law which rendered +it imperative for the land to lie fallow in order to rest and gain +renewed strength, is only another illustration of the unity which +pervades physical conditions everywhere. It should be known that if +a mother nurses her own babe, and the child is not weaned until it +is nine or ten months old, the mother, except in rare cases, will +not become enceinte again, though cohabitation with the husband takes +place. + +9. SELFISH AND UNNATURAL CONDUCT.--It is natural and rational that +a mother should feed her own children; in the selfish and unnatural +conduct of many mothers, who, to avoid the self-denial and patience +which are required, hand the little one over to the wet-nurse, or to +be brought up by hand, is found in many cases the cause and reason of +the unnatural haste of child-bearing. Mothers need to be taught that +the laws of nature cannot be broken without penalty. For every woman +whose health has been weakened through nursing her child, a hundred +have lost strength and health through marital excesses. The haste of +having children is the costly penalty which women pay for shirking the +mother's duty to the child. + +10. LAW OF GOD.--So graciously has the law of God been arranged in +regard to the mother's strength, that, if it be obeyed, there will be, +as a rule, an interval of at least from eighteen months to two years +between the birth of one child and that of another. Every married +man should abstain during certain natural seasons. In this periodical +recurrance God has instituted to every husband the law of restraint, +and insisted upon self-control. + +11. TO YOUNG PEOPLE WHO ARE MARRIED.--Be exceedingly careful of +license and excess in your intercourse with one another. Do not +needlessly expose, by undress, the body. Let not the purity of love +degenerate into unholy lust! See to it that you walk according to the +divine Word. "Dwelling together as being heirs of the grace of life, +that your prayers be not hindered." + +12. LOST POWERS.--Many young men after their union showed a marked +difference. They lost much of their natural vivacity, energy, and +strength of voice. Their powers of application, as business men, +students, and ministers, had declined, as also their enterprise, +fervor, and kindliness. They had become irritable, dull, pale, and +complaining. Many cases of rheumatic fever have been induced through +impoverishment, caused by excesses on the part of young married men. + +13. MIDDLE AGE.--After middle age the sap of a man's life declines +in quantity. A man who intends close application to the ministry, to +scientific or literary pursuits, where great demands are made upon +the brain, must restrain this passion. The supplies for the brain +and nervous system are absorbed, and the seed diverted through sexual +excesses in the marriage relationship, by fornication, or by any other +form of immorality, the man's power must decline: that to this very +cause may be attributed the failure and breakdown of so many men of +middle age. + +14. INTOXICATING DRINKS.--By all means avoid intoxicating drinks. +Immorality and alcoholic stimulants, as we have shown, are intimately +related to one another. Wine and strong drink inflame the blood, and +heat the passions. Attacking the brain, they warp the judgment, and +weaken the power of restraint. Avoid what is called good living: it is +madness to allow the pleasures of the table to corrupt and corrode the +human body. We are not designed for gourmands, much less for educated +pigs. Cold water bathing, water as a beverage, simple and wholesome +food, regularity of sleep, plenty of exercise; games such as cricket, +football, tennis, boating, or bicycling, are among the best possible +preventives against lust and animal passion. + +15. BEWARE OF IDLENESS.--Indolent leisure means an unoccupied mind. +When young men lounge along the streets, in this condition they become +an easy prey to the sisterhood of shame and death. Bear in mind that +evil thoughts precede evil actions. The hand of the worst thief will +not steal until the thief within operates upon the hand without. The +members of the body which are capable of becoming instruments of sin, +are not involuntary actors. Lustful desires must proceed from brain +and heart, ere the fire that consumes burns in the member. + +[Illustration: YOUNG LINCOLN STARTING TO SCHOOL.] + + + * * * * * + +A PRIVATE TALK TO YOUNG MEN. + + +1. The most valuable and useful organs of the body are those which are +capable of the greatest dishonor, abuse and corruption. What a snare +the wonderful organism of the eye may become when used to read corrupt +books or look upon licentious scenes at the theatre, or when used +to meet the fascinating gaze of the harlot! What an instrument for +depraving the whole man may be found in the matchless powers of +the brain, the hand, the ear, the mouth, or the tongue! What potent +instruments may these become in accomplishing the ruin of the whole +being for time and eternity! + +2. In like manner the organ concerning the uses of which I am +to speak, has been, and continues to be, made one of the chief +instruments of man's immorality, shame, disease, and death. How +important to know what the legitimate uses of this member of the body +are, and how great the dignity conferred upon us in the possession of +this gift. On the human side this gift may be truly said to bring men +nearer to the high and solemn relationship of the Creator than any +other which they possess. + +3. I first deal with the destructive sin of self-abuse. There can be +little doubt that vast numbers of boys are guilty of this practice. +In many cases the degrading habit has been taught by others, e.g., +by elder boys at school, where association largely results in mutual +corruption. With others, the means of sensual gratification is found +out by personal action; whilst in other cases fallen and depraved men +have not hesitated to debauch the minds of mere children by teaching +them this debasing practice. + +4. Thousands of youths and young men have only to use the +looking-glass to see the portrait of one guilty of this loathsome sin. +The effects are plainly discernible in the boy's appearance. The +face and hands become pale and bloodless. The eye is destitute of its +natural fire and lustre. The flesh is soft and flabby, the muscles +limp and lacking healthy firmness. In cases where the habit has become +confirmed, and where the system has been drained of this vital force, +it is seen in positive ugliness, in a pale and cadaverous appearance, +slovenly gait, slouching walk, and an impaired memory. + +5. It is obvious that if the most vital physical force of a boy's life +is being spent through this degrading habit--a habit, be it observed, +of rapid growth, great strength, and difficult to break--he must +develop badly. In thousands of cases the result is seen in a low +stature, contracted chest, weak lungs, and liability to sore throat. +Tendency to cold, indigestion, depression, drowsiness, and idleness, +are results distinctly traceable to this deadly practice. Pallor +of countenance, nervous and rheumatic affections, loss of memory, +epilepsy, paralysis, and insanity find their principal predisposing +cause in the same shameful waste of life. The want of moral force and +strength of mind often observable in youths and young men is largely +induced by this destructive and deadly sin. + +6. Large numbers of youths pass from an exhausted boyhood into the +weakness, intermittent fevers, and consumption, which are said to +carry off so many. If the deaths were attributed primarily to loss +of strength occasioned by self-pollution, it would be much nearer the +truth. It is monstrous to suppose that a boy who comes from healthy +parents should decline and die. Without a shade of doubt the chief +cause of decay and death amongst youths and young men, is to be traced +to this baneful habit. + +7. It is a well-known fact that any man who desires to excel and +retain his excellence as an accurate shot, an oarsman, a pedestrian, +a pugilist, a first-class cricketer, bicyclist, student, artist, +or literary man, must abstain from self-pollution and fornication. +Thousands of school boys and students lose their positions in the +class, and are plucked at the time of their examination by reason +of failure of memory, through lack of nerve and vital force, caused +mainly by draining the physical frame of the seed which is the vigor +of the life. + +8. It is only true to say that thousands of young men in the early +stages of a licentious career would rather lose a right hand than have +their mothers or sisters know what manner of men they are. From the +side of the mothers and sisters it may also be affirmed that, were +they aware of the real character of those brothers and sons, they +would wish that they had never been born. + +9. Let it be remembered that sexual desire is not in itself +dishonorable or sinful, any more than hunger, thirst, or any other +lawful and natural desire is. It is the gratification by unlawful +means of this appetite which renders it so corrupting and iniquitous. + +10. Leisure means the opportunity to commit sin. Unclean pictures are +sought after and feasted upon, paragraphs relating to cases of +divorce and seduction are eagerly read, papers and books of an +immoral character and tendency greedily devoured, low and disgusting +conversation indulged in and repeated. + +11. The practical and manly counsel to every youth and young man is, +entire abstinence from indulgence of the sexual faculty until such +time as the marriage relationship is entered upon. Neither is there, +nor can there be, any exception to this rule. + +12. No man can affirm that self-denial ever injured him. On the +contrary, self-restraint has been liberty, strength and blessing. +Beware of the deceitful streams of temporary gratification, whose +eddying current drifts towards license, shame, disease and death. +Remember, how quickly moral power declines, how rapidly the edge of +the fatal maelstrom is reached, how near the vortex, how terrible the +penalty, how fearful the sentence of everlasting punishment. + +13. Be a young man of principle, honor, and preserve your powers. How +can you look an innocent girl in the face when you are degrading your +manhood with the vilest practice? Keep your mind and life pure and +nobility will be your crown. + + + * * * * * + +REMEDIES FOR THE SOCIAL EVIL. + + +1. MAN RESPONSIBLE.--Every great social reform must begin with the +male sex. They must either lead, or give it its support. Prostitution +is a sin wholly of their own making. All the misery, all the lust, as +well as all the blighting consequences, are chargeable wholly to +the uncontrolled sexual passion of the male. To reform sinful women, +_reform the men_. Teach them that the physiological truth means +permanent moral, physical and mental benefit, while seductive +indulgence blights and ruins. + +2. CONTAGIOUS DISEASES.--A man or woman cannot long live an impure +life without sooner or later contracting disease which brings to +every sufferer not only moral degradation, but often serious and vital +injuries and many times death itself becomes the only relief. + +3. SHOULD IT BE REGULATED BY LAW?--Dr. G.J. Ziegler, of Philadelphia, +in several medical articles says that the act of sexual connection +should be made in itself the solemnization of marriage, and that when +any such single act can be proven against an unmarried man, by an +unmarried woman, the latter be at once invested with all the legal +privileges of a wife. By bestowing this power on women very few men +would risk the dangers of the society of a dissolute and scheming +woman who might exercise the right to force him to a marriage and ruin +his reputation and life. The strongest objection of this would be +that it would increase the temptation to destroy the purity of married +women, for they could be approached without danger of being forced +into another marriage. But this objection could easily be harmonized +with a good system of well regulated laws. Many means have been tried +to mitigate the social evils, but with little encouragement. In the +city of Paris a system of registration has been inaugurated and +houses of prostitution are under the supervision of the police, yet +prostitution has not been in any degree diminished. Similar methods +have been tried in other European towns, but without satisfactory +results. + +4. MORAL INFLUENCE.--Let it be an imperative to every clergyman, to +every educator, to every statesman and to every philanthropist, to +every father and to every mother, to impart that moral influence which +may guide and direct the youth of the land into the natural channels +of morality, chastity and health. Then, and not till then, shall +we see righteous laws and rightly enforced for the mitigation and +extermination of the modern house of prostitution. + +[Illustration: A TURKISH CIGARETTE GIRL.] + + + * * * * * + +THE SELFISH SLAVES OF DOSES OF DISEASE AND DEATH. + + +1. MOST DEVILISH INTOXICATION.--What is the most devilish, subtle +alluring, unconquerable, hopeless and deadly form of intoxication, +with which science struggles and to which it often succumbs; which +eludes the restrictive grasp of legislation; lurks behind lace +curtains, hides in luxurious boudoirs, haunts the solitude of the +study, and with waxen face, furtive eyes and palsied step totters to +the secret recesses of its self-indulgence? It is the drunkenness +of drugs, and woe be unto him that crosseth the threshold of its +dream-curtained portal, for though gifted with the strength of Samson, +the courage of Richard and the genius of Archimedes, he shall never +return, and of him it is written that forever he leaves hope behind. + +2. THE MATERIAL SATAN.--The material Satan in this sensuous syndicate +of soul and body-destroying drugs is opium, and next in order of +hellish potency come cocaine and chloral. + +3. GUM OPIUM.--Gum opium, from which the sulphate of morphine is made, +is the dried juice of the poppy, and is obtained principally in the +orient. Taken in moderate doses it acts specially upon the nervous +system, deadens sensibility, and the mind becomes inactive. When used +habitually and excessively it becomes a tonic, which stimulates the +whole nervous system, producing intense mental exaltation and delusive +visions. When the effects wear off, proportionate lassitude follows, +which begets an insatiate and insane craving for the drug. Under the +repeated strain of the continually increasing doses, which have to be +taken to renew the desired effect, the nervous system finally becomes +exhausted, and mind and body are utterly and hopelessly wrecked. + +4. COCAINE.--Cocaine is extracted from the leaves of the Peruvian +cocoa tree, and exerts a decided influence upon the nervous system, +somewhat akin to that of coffee. It increases the heart action and +is said to be such an exhilarant that the natives of the Andes are +enabled to make extra-ordinary forced marches by chewing the leaves +containing it. Its after effects are more depressing even than those +of opium, and insanity more frequently results from its use. + +5. CHLORAL.--The name which is derived from the first two syllables +of chlorine and alcohol, is made by passing dry chlorine gas in a +continuous stream through absolute alcohol for six or eight weeks. It +is a hypnotic or sleep-producing drug, and in moderate doses acts on +the caliber of the blood vessels of the brain, producing a soothing +effect, especially in cases of passive congestion. Some patent +medicines contain chloral, bromide and hyoseamus, and they have a +large sale, being bought by persons of wealth, who do not know what +they are composed of and recklessly take them for the effect they +produce. + +6. VICTIMS RAPIDLY INCREASING.--"From my experience," said a leading +and conservative druggist, "I infer that the number of what are termed +opium, cocaine, and chloral "fiends" is rapidly increasing, and is +greater by two or three hundred percent than a year ago, with twice +as many women as men represented. I should say that one person out +of every fifty is a victim of this frightful habit, which claims its +doomed votaries from the extremes of social life, those who have the +most and the least to live for, the upper classes and the cyprian, +professional men of the finest intelligence, fifty per cent. of whom +are doctors and walk into the pit with eyes wide open. And lawyers and +other professional men must be added to this fated vice." + +7. DESTROYS THE MORAL FIBER.--"It is a habit which utterly destroys +the moral fiber of its slaves, and makes unmitigated liars and thieves +and forgers of them, and even murder might be added to the list of +crimes, were no other road left open to the gratification of its +insatiate and insane appetite. I do not know of a single case in which +it has been mastered, but I do know of many where the end has been +unspeakable misery, disgrace, suffering, insanity and death." + +8. SHAMEFUL DEATH.--To particularize further would be profitless so +far as the beginners are concerned, but would to heaven that those not +within the shadow of this shameful death would take warning from those +who are. There are no social or periodical drunkards in this sort +of intoxication. The vice is not only solitary, unsocial and utterly +selfish, but incessant and increasing in its demands. + +9. APPETITE STRONGER THAN FOR LIQUOR.--This appetite is far stronger +and more uncontrollable than that for liquor, and we can spot its +victim as readily as though he were an ordinary bummer. He has a +pallid complexion, a shifting, shuffling manner and can't look you +in the face. If you manage to catch his eye for an instant you will +observe that its pupil is contracted to an almost invisible point. It +is no exaggeration to say that he would barter his very soul for that +which indulgence has made him too poor to purchase, and where artifice +fails he will grovel in abject agony of supplication for a few grains. +At the same time he resorts to all kinds of miserable and transparent +shifts, to conceal his degradation. He never buys for himself, but +always for some fictitious person, and often resorts to purchasing +from distant points. + +10. OPIUM SMOKING.--"Opium smoking," said another representative +druggist, "is almost entirely confined to the Chinese and they seem to +thrive on it. Very few others hit the pipe that we know of." + +11. MALT AND ALCOHOLIC DRUNKENNESS.--Alcoholic stimulants have a +record of woe second to nothing. Its victims are annually marching +to drunkards' graves by the thousands. Drunkards may be divided into +three classes: First, the accidental or social drunkard; second, the +periodical or spasmodic drunkard; and third, the sot. + +12. THE ACCIDENTAL OR SOCIAL DRUNKARD is yet on safe ground. He has +not acquired the dangerous craving for liquor. It is only on special +occasions that he yields to excessive indulgence; sometimes in meeting +a friend, or at some political blow-out. On extreme occasions he will +indulge until he becomes a helpless victim, and usually as he grows +older occasions will increase, and step by step he will be lead nearer +to the precipice of ruin. + +13. THE PERIODICAL OR SPASMODIC DRUNKARD, with whom it is always +the unexpected which occurs, and who at intervals exacts from his +accumulated capital the usury of as prolonged a spree as his nerves +and stomach will stand. Science is inclined to charitably label this +specimen of man a sort of a physiologic puzzle, to be as much pitied +as blamed. Given the benefit of every doubt, when he starts off on one +of his hilarious tangents, he becomes a howling nuisance; if he has a +family, keeps them continually on the ragged edge of apprehension, and +is unanimously pronounced a "holy terror" by his friends. His life and +future is an uncertainty. He is unreliable and cannot be long trusted. +Total reformation is the only hope, but it rarely is accomplished. + +14. THE SOT.--A blunt term that needs no defining, for even the +children comprehend the hopeless degradation it implies. Laws to +restrain and punish him are framed; societies to protect and reform +him are organized, and mostly in vain. He is prone in life's very +gutter; bloated, reeking and polluted with the doggery's slops and +filth. He can fall but a few feet lower, and not until he stumbles +into an unmarked, unhonored grave, where kind mother earth and the +merciful mantle of oblivion will cover and conceal the awful wreck he +made of God's own image. To the casual observer, the large majority of +the community, these three phases, at whose vagaries many laugh, and +over whose consequences millions mourn, comprehend intoxication and +its results, from the filling of the cup to its shattering fall from +the nerveless hand, and this is the end of the matter. Would to God +that it were! for at that it would be bad enough. But it is not, for +wife, children and friends must suffer and drink the cup of trouble +and sorrow to its dregs. + + + * * * * * + +OBJECT LESSONS OF THE EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL AND CIGARETTE SMOKING. + + +By Prof. George Henkle, who personally made the post-mortem +examinations and drew the following illustrations from the diseased +organs just as they appeared when first taken from the bodies of the +unfortunate victims. + +[Illustration: THE STOMACH of an habitual drinker of alcoholic +stimulants, showing the ulcerated condition of the mucous membrane, +incapacitating this important organ for digestive functions.] + +[Illustration: THE STOMACH (interior view) of a healthy person with +the first section of the small intestines.] + +[Illustration: THE LIVER of a drunkard who died of Cirrhosis of the +liver, also called granular liver, or "gin drinker's liver." The organ +is much shrunken and presents rough, uneven edges, with carbuncular +non-suppurative sores. In this self-inflicted disease the tissues +of the liver undergo a cicatrical retraction which strangulates and +partly destroys the parenchyma of the liver.] + +[Illustration: THE LIVER IN HEALTH.] + +[Illustration: THE KIDNEY of a man who died a drunkard, showing in +upper portion the sores so often found on kidneys of hard drinkers, +and in the lower portion, the obstruction formed in the internal +arrangement of this organ. Alcohol is a great enemy to the kidneys, +and after this poison has once set in on its destructive course in +these organs no remedial agents are known to exist to stop the already +established disease.] + +[Illustration: THE KIDNEY in health, with the lower section removed, +to show the filtering apparatus (Malphigian pyramids). Natural size.] + +[Illustration: THE LUNGS AND HEART of a boy who died from the effects +of cigarette smoking, showing the nicotine sediments in lungs and +shrunken condition of the heart.] + +[Illustration: THE LUNGS AND HEART IN HEALTH.] + +[Illustration: A section of the diseased Lung of a cigarette smoker, +highly magnified.] + + + * * * * * + +THE DESTRUCTIVE EFFECTS OF CIGARETTE SMOKING. + + +Cigarettes have been analyzed, and the most physicians and chemists +were surprised to find how much opium is put into them. A tobacconist +himself says that "the extent to which drugs are used in cigarettes +is appalling." "Havana flavoring" for this same purpose is sold +everywhere by the thousand barrels. This flavoring is made from the +tonka-bean, which contains a deadly poison. The wrappers, warranted +to be rice paper, are sometimes made of common paper, and sometimes of +the filthy scrapings of ragpickers bleached white with arsenic. What a +thing for human lungs. + +The habit burns up good health, good resolutions, good manners, good +memories, good faculties, and often honesty and truthfulness as well. + +Cases of epilepsy, insanity and death are frequently reported as +the result of smoking cigarettes, while such physicians as Dr. Lewis +Sayre, Dr. Hammond, and Sir Morell Mackenzie of England, name heart +trouble, blindness, cancer and other diseases as occasioned by it. + +Leading physicians of America unanimously condemn cigarette smoking +as "one of the vilest and most destructive evils that ever befell +the youth of any country," declaring that "its direct tendency is a +deterioration of the race." + +Look at the pale, wilted complexion of a boy who indulges to excessive +cigarette smoking. It takes no physician to diagnose his case, and +death will surely mark for his own every boy and young man who will +follow up the habit. It is no longer a matter of guess. It is a +scientific fact which the microscope in every case verifies. + +[Illustration: _Illustrating the shrunken condition of one of the +Lungs of an excessive smoker_] + +[Illustration: INNOCENT YOUTH.] + + + * * * * * + +The Dangerous Vices. + + +Few persons are aware of the extent to which masturbation or +self-pollution is practiced by the young of both sexes in civilized +society. + + +SYMPTOMS. + +The hollow, sunken eye, the blanched cheek, the withered hands, and +emaciated frame, and the listless life, have other sources than the +ordinary illnesses of all large communities. + +When a child, after having given proofs of memory and intelligence, +experiences daily more and more difficulty in retaining and +understanding what is taught him, it is not only from unwillingness +and idleness, as is commonly supposed, but from a disease eating out +life itself, brought on by a self-abuse of the private organs. +Besides the slow and progressive derangement of his or her health, the +diminished energy of application, the languid movement, the stooping +gait, the desertion of social games, the solitary walk, late rising, +livid and sunken eye, and many other symptoms, will fix the attention +of every intelligent and competent guardian of youth that something is +wrong. + +[Illustration: GUARD WELL THE CRADLE. EDUCATION CANNOT BEGIN TOO +YOUNG.] + + +MARRIED PEOPLE. + +Nor are many persons sufficiently aware of the ruinous extent to which +the amative propensity is indulged by married persons. The matrimonial +ceremony does, indeed, sanctify the act of sexual intercourse, but it +can by no means atone for nor obviate the consequences of its abuse. +Excessive indulgence in the married relation is, perhaps, as much +owing to the force of habit, as to the force of the sexual appetite. + + +EXTREME YOUTH. + +More lamentable still is the effect of inordinate sexual excitement of +the young and unmarried. It is not very uncommon to find a confirmed +onanist, or, rather, masturbator, who has not yet arrived at the +period of puberty. Many cases are related in which young boys and +girls, from eight to ten years of age, were taught the method +of self-pollution by their older playmates, and had made serious +encroachments on the fund of constitutional vitality even before any +considerable degree of sexual appetite was developed. + + +FORCE OF HABIT. + +Here, again, the fault was not in the power of passion, but in the +force of habit. Parents and guardians of youth can not be too mindful +of the character and habits of those with whom they allow young +persons and children under their charge to associate intimately, and +especially careful should they be with whom they allow them to sleep. + + +SIN OF IGNORANCE. + +It is customary to designate self-pollution as among the "vices." I +think misfortune is the more appropriate term. It is true, that in the +physiological sense, it is one of the very worst "transgressions of +the law." But in the moral sense it is generally the sin of ignorance +in the commencement, and in the end the passive submission to a morbid +and almost resistless impulse. + + +QUACKS. + +The time has come when the rising generation must be thoroughly +instructed in this matter. That quack specific "ignorance" has been +experimented with quite too long already. The true method of insuring +all persons, young or old, against the abuses of any part, organ, +function, or faculty of the wondrous machinery of life, is to teach +them its use. "Train a child in the way it should go" or be sure it +will, amid the ten thousand surrounding temptations, find out a way +in which it should not go. Keeping a child in ignorant innocence is, I +aver, no part of the "training" which has been taught by a wiser +than Solomon. Boys and girls do know, will know, and must know, that +between them are important anatomical differences and interesting +physiological relations. Teach them, I repeat, their use, or expect +their abuse. Hardly a young person in the world would ever become +addicted to self-pollution if he or she understood clearly the +consequences; if he or she knew at the outset that the practice was +directly destroying the bodily stamina, vitiating the moral tone, and +enfeebling the intellect. No one would pursue the disgusting habit if +he or she was fully aware that it was blasting all prospects of health +and happiness in the approaching period of manhood and womanhood. + + +GENERAL SYMPTOMS OF THE SECRET HABIT. + +The effects of either self-pollution or excessive sexual indulgence, +appear in many forms. It would seem as if God had written an +instinctive law of remonstrance, in the innate moral sense, against +this filthy vice. + +All who give themselves up to the excesses of this debasing +indulgence, carry about with them, continually, a consciousness of +their defilement, and cherish a secret suspicion that others look upon +them as debased beings. They feel none of that manly confidence +and gallant spirit, and chaste delight in the presence of virtuous +females, which stimulate young men to pursue the course of ennobling +refinement, and mature them for the social relations and enjoyments of +life. + +This shamefacedness, or unhappy quailing of the countenance, on +meeting the look of others, often follows them through life, in some +instances even after they have entirely abandoned the habit, and +became married men and respectable members of society. + +In some cases, the only complaint the patient will make on consulting +you, is that he is suffering under a kind of continued fever. He +will probably present a hot, dry skin, with something of a hectic +appearance. Though all the ordinary means of arresting such symptoms +have been tried, he is none the better. + +The sleep seems to be irregular and unrefreshing--restlessness +during the early part of the night, and in the advanced stages of +the disease, profuse sweats before morning. There is also frequent +starting in the sleep, from disturbing dreams. The characteristic +feature is, that your patient almost always dreams of sexual +intercourse. This is one of the earliest, as well as most constant +symptoms. When it occurs most frequently, it is apt to be accompanied +with pain. A gleety discharge from the urethra may also be frequently +discovered, especially if the patient examine when at stool or after +urinating. Other common symptoms are nervous headache, giddiness, +ringing in the ears, and a dull pain in the back part of the head. +It is frequently the case that the patient suffers a stiffness in the +neck, darting pains in the forehead, and also weak eyes are among the +common symptoms. + +One very frequent, and perhaps early symptom (especially in young +females) is solitariness--a disposition to seclude themselves from +society. Although they may be tolerably cheerful when in company, they +prefer rather to be alone. + +The countenance has often a gloomy and worn-down expression. The +patient's friends frequently notice a great change. Large livid spots +under the eyes is a common feature. Sudden flashes of heat may +be noticed passing over the patient's face. He is liable also to +palpitations. The pulse is very variable, generally too slow. Extreme +emaciation, without any other assignable cause for it, may be set down +as another very common symptom. + +If the evil has gone on for several years, there will be a general +unhealthy appearance, of a character so marked as to enable an +experienced observer at once to detect the cause. In the case of +onanists especially there is a peculiar rank odor emitted from +the body, by which they may be readily distinguished. One striking +peculiarity of all these patients is, that they cannot look a man in +the face! Cowardice is constitutional with them. + + +HOME TREATMENT OF THE SECRET HABIT. + +1. The first condition of recovery is a prompt and permanent +abandonment of the ruinous habit. Without a faithful adherence to this +prohibitory law on the part of the patient all medication on the +part of the physician will assuredly fail. The patient must plainly +understand that future prospects, character, health, and life itself, +depend on an unfaltering resistance to the morbid solicitation; +with the assurance, however, that a due perseverance will eventually +render, what now seems like a resistless and overwhelming propensity, +not only controllable but perfectly loathsome and undesirable. + +2. Keep the mind employed by interesting the patient in the various +topics of the day, and social features of the community. + +3. Plenty of bodily out of door exercise, hoeing in the garden, +walking, or working on the farm; of course not too heavy work must be +indulged in. + +4. If the patient is weak and very much emaciated, cod liver oil is an +excellent remedy. + +5. DIET. The patient should live principally on brown bread, oat meal, +graham crackers, wheat meal, cracked or boiled wheat, or hominy, and +food of that character. No meats should be indulged in whatever; milk +diet if used by the patient is an excellent remedy. Plenty of fruit +should be indulged in; dried toast and baked apples make an excellent +supper. The patient should eat early in the evening, never late at +night. + +6. Avoid all tea, coffee, or alcoholic stimulants of any kind. + +7. "Early to bed and early to rise," should be the motto of every +victim of this vice. A patient should take a cold bath every morning +after rising. A cold water injection in moderate quantities before +retiring has cured many patients. + +8. If the above remedies are not sufficient, a family physician should +be consulted. + +9. Never let children sleep together, if possible, to avoid it. +Discourage the children of neighbors and friends from sleeping with +your children. + +10. Have your children rise early. It is the lying in bed in the +morning that plays the mischief. + +[Illustration: Healthy Semen, Greatly Magnified.] + +[Illustration: The Semen of a Victim of Masturbation.] + + + * * * * * + +NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS. + + +Involuntary emissions of semen during amorous dreams at night is not +at all uncommon among healthy men. When this occurs from one to three +or four times a month, no anxiety or concern need be felt. + +When the emissions take place without dreams, manifested only by +stained spots in the morning on the linen, or take place at stool and +are entirely beyond control, then the patient should at once seek +for remedies or consult a competent physician. When blood stains are +produced, then medical aid must be sought at once. + + +HOME TREATMENT FOR NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS. + +Sleep in a hard bed, and rise early and take a sponge bath in cold +water every morning. Eat light suppers and refrain from eating late in +the evening. Empty the bladder thoroughly before retiring, bathe the +spine and hips with a sponge dipped in cold water. + +_Never sleep lying on the back._ + +Avoid all highly seasoned food and read good books, and keep the mind +well employed. Take regular and vigorous outdoor exercise every day. + +Avoid all coffee, tea, wine, beer and all alcoholic liquors. Don't use +tobacco, and keep the bowels free. + +[Illustration: Healthy Testicle.] + +[Illustration: A Testicle wasted by Masturbation.] + +PRESCRIPTION.--Ask your druggist to put you up a good Iron Tonic and +take it regularly according to his directions. + + +BEWARE OF ADVERTISING QUACKS. + +Beware of these advertising schemes that advertise a speedy cure for +"Loss of Youth," "Lost Vitality," "A Cure for Impotency," "Renewing of +Old Age," etc. Do not allow these circulating pamphlets and circulars +to concern you the least. If you have a few _Nocturnal Emissions_, +remember it is only a mark of vitality and health, and not a sign of a +deathly disease, as many of these advertising quacks would lead you to +believe. + +Use your private organs only for what your Creator intended they +should be used, and there will be no occasion for you to be frightened +by the deception of quacks. + +[Illustration: THE TWO PATHS--What Will The Boy Become? + +At 15: STUDY & CLEANLINESS +At 25: PURITY & ECONOMY +At 36: HONORABLE SUCCESS +At 60: VENERABLE OLD AGE + +At 15: CIGARETTES & SELF-ABUSE +At 25: IMPURITY & DISSIPATION +At 36: VICE & DEGENERACY +At 60: MORAL-PHYSICAL WRECK] + + + * * * * * + +LOST MANHOOD RESTORED. + + +1. RESOLUTE DESISTENCE.--The first step towards the restoration of +lost manhood is a resolute desistence from these terrible sins. Each +time the temptation is overcome, the power to resist becomes stronger, +and the fierce fire declines. Each time the sin is committed, +its hateful power strengthens, and the fire of lust is increased. +Remember, that you cannot commit these sins, and maintain health and +strength. + +2. AVOID BEING ALONE.--Avoid being alone when the temptation comes +upon you to commit self-abuse. Change your thoughts at once; "keep the +heart diligently, for out of it are the issues of life." + +3. AVOID EVIL COMPANIONS.--Avoid evil companions, lewd conversation, +bad pictures, corrupt and vicious novels, books, and papers. Abstain +from all intoxicating drinks. These inflame the blood, excite the +passions, and stimulate sensuality; weakening the power of the brain, +they always impair the power of self-restraint. Smoking is very +undesirable. Keep away from the moral pesthouses. Remember that these +houses are the great resort of fallen and depraved men and women. +The music, singing, and dancing are simply a blind to cover the +intemperance and lust, which hold high carnival in these guilded +hells. This, be it remembered, is equally true of the great majority +of the theatres. + +4. AVOID STRONG TEA, OR COFFEE.--Take freely of cocoa, milk, and bread +and milk, or oatmeal porridge. Meats, such as beef and mutton, use +moderately. We would strongly recommend to young men of full habit, +vegetarian diet. Fruits in their season, partake liberally; also fresh +vegetables. Brown bread and toast, as also rice, and similar puddings, +are always suitable. Avoid rich pastry and new bread. + +5. THREE MEALS A DAY ARE ABUNDANT.--Avoid suppers, and be careful, +if troubled with nightly emissions, not to take any liquid, not +even water, after seven o'clock in the evening, at latest. This will +diminish the secretions of the body, when asleep, and the consequent +emissions, which in the early hours of the morning usually follow +the taking of any kind of drink. Do not be anxious or troubled by an +occasional emission, say, for example, once a fortnight. + +6. REST ON A HARD MATTRESS.--Keep the body cool when asleep; heat +arising from a load of bed-clothes, is most undesirable. Turn down the +counterpane, and let the air have free course through the blankets. + +7. RELIEVE THE SYSTEM.--As much as possible relieve the system of +urine before going to sleep. On rising, bathe if practicable. If you +cannot bear cold water, take the least possible chill off the water +(cold water, however, is best). If bathing is not practicable, wash +the body with cold water, and keep scrupulously clean. The reaction +caused by cold water, is most desirable. Rub the body dry with a rough +towel. Drink a good draught of cold water. + +8. EXERCISE.--Get fifteen minutes' brisk walk, if possible before +breakfast. If any sense of faintness exists, eat a crust of bread, or +biscuit. Be regular in your meals, and do not fear to make a hearty +breakfast. This lays a good foundation for the day. Take daily good, +but not violent exercise. Walk until you can distinctly feel the +tendency to perspiration. This will keep the pores of the skin open +and in healthy condition. + +9. MEDICINES.--Take the medicines, if used, regularly and carefully. +Bromide of Potassium is a most valuable remedy in allaying lustful +and heated passions and appetites. Unless there is actual venereal +disease, medicine should be very little resorted to. + +10. AVOID THE STREETS AT NIGHT.--Beware of corrupt companions. Fast +young men and women should be shunned everywhere. Cultivate a taste +for good reading and evening studies. Home life with its gentle +restraints, pure friendships, and healthful discipline, should be +highly valued. There is no liberty like that of a well-regulated +home. To large numbers of young men in business houses, home life is +impracticable. + +11. BE OF GOOD CHEER AND COURAGE.--Recovery will be gradual, and not +sudden; vital force is developed slowly from within. The object +aimed at by medicine and counsel, is to aid and increase nervous and +physical vigor, and give tone to the demoralized system. Do not pay +the slightest heed to the exaggerated statements of the wretched +quack doctors, who advertise everywhere. Avoid them as you would a +pestilence. Their great object is, through exciting your fears, to get +you into their clutches, in order to oppress you with heavy and unjust +payments. Be careful, not to indulge in fancies, or morbid thoughts +and feelings. Be hopeful, and play the part of a man determined to +overcome. + + + * * * * * + +MANHOOD WRECKED AND RESCUED. + + +1. THE NOBLEST FUNCTIONS OF MANHOOD.--The noblest functions of manhood +are brought into action in the office of the parent. It is here +that man assumes the prerogative of a God and becomes a creator. +How essential that every function of his physical system should be +perfect, and every faculty of his mind free from that which would +degrade; yet how many drag their purity through the filth of +masturbation, revel in the orgies of the debauchee, and worship at +the shrine of the prostitute, until, like a tree blighted by the livid +lightning, they stand with all their outward form of men, but without +life. + +2. THRESHOLD OF HONOR.--Think of a man like that; in whom the passions +and vices have burned themselves out, putting on the airs of a saint +and claiming to have reformed. Aye, reformed, when there is no +longer sweetness in the indulgence of lust. Think of such loathsome +bestiality, dragging its slimy body across the threshold of honor and +nobility and asking a pure woman, with the love-light of heaven in +her eyes, to pass her days with him; to accept him as her lord; to +be satisfied with the burnt-out, shriveled forces of manhood left; +to sacrifice her purity that he may be redeemed, and to respect in a +husband what she would despise in the brute. + +3. STOP.--If you are, then, on the highway to this state of +degradation, stop. If already you have sounded the depths of lost +manhood, then turn, and from the fountain of life regain your power, +before you perpetrate the terrible crime of marriage, thus wrecking +a woman's life and perhaps bringing into the world children who will +live only to suffer and curse the day on which they were born and the +father who begat them. + +4. SEXUAL IMPOTENCY.--Sexual impotency means sexual starvation, and +drives many wives to ruin, while a similar lack among wives drives +husbands to libertinism. Nothing so enhances the happiness of married +couples as this full, life-abounding, sexual vigor in the husband, +thoroughly reciprocated by the wife, yet completely controlled by +both. + +5. TWO CLASSES OF SUFFERERS.--There are two classes of sufferers. +First, those who have only practiced self-abuse and are suffering from +emissions. Second, those who by overindulgence in marital relations, +or by dissipation with women, have ruined their forces. + +6. THE REMEDY.--For self-abuse: When the young man has practiced +self-abuse for some time, he finds, upon quitting the habit, that he +has nightly emissions. He becomes alarmed, reads every sensational +advertisement in the papers, and at once comes to the conclusion that +he must take something. _Drugs are not necessary._ + +7. STOP THE CAUSE.--The one thing needful, above all others, is to +stop the cause. I have found that young men are invariably mistaken +as to what is the cause. When asked as to the first cause of their +trouble, they invariably say it was self-abuse, etc., but it is not. +_It is the thought._ This precedes the handling, and, like every other +cause, must be removed in order to have right results. + +8. STOP THE THOUGHT.--But remember, _stop the thought_! You must not +look after every woman with lustful thoughts, nor go courting girls +who will allow you to hug, caress and kiss them, thus rousing your +passions almost to a climax. Do not keep the company of those whose +only conversation is of a lewd and depraved character, but keep the +company of those ladies who awaken your higher sentiments and nobler +impulses, who appeal to the intellect and rouse your aspiration, in +whose presence you would no more feel your passions aroused than in +the presence of your own mother. + +9. YOU WILL GET WELL.--Remember you will get well. Don't fear. Fear +destroys strength and therefore increases the trouble. Many get +downhearted, discouraged, despairing--the very worst thing that can +happen, doing as much harm, and in many cases more, than their former +dissipation. Brooding kills; hope enlivens. Then sing with joy that +the savior of knowledge has vanquished the death-dealing ignorance of +the past; that the glorious strength of manhood has awakened and cast +from you forever the grinning skeleton of vice. Be your better self, +proud that your thoughts in the day-time are as pure as you could wish +your dreams to be at night. + +10. HELPS.--Do not use tobacco or liquor. They inflame the passions +and irritate the nervous system; they only gratify base appetites +and never rouse the higher feelings. Highly spiced food should be +eschewed, not chewed. Meat should be eaten sparingly, and never at the +last meal. + +11. DON'T EAT TOO MUCH.--If not engaged in hard physical labor, try +eating two meals a day. Never neglect the calls of nature, and if +possible have a passage from the bowels every night before retiring. +When this is not done the feces often drop into the rectum during +sleep, producing heat which extends to the sexual organs, causing the +lascivious dreams and emission. This will be noticed especially in +the morning, when the feces usually distend the rectum and the person +nearly always awakes with sexual passions aroused. If necessary, use +injections into the rectum of from one to two quarts of water, blood +heat, two or three times a week. Be sure to keep clean and see to it +that no matter collects under the foreskin. Wash off the organ every +night and take a quick, cold hand-bath every morning. Have something +to do. Never be idle. Idleness always worships at the shrine of +passion. + +12. THE WORST TIME OF ALL.--Many are ruined by allowing their thoughts +to run riot in the morning. Owing to the passions being roused as +stated above, the young man lies half awake and half dozing, rousing +his passions and reveling in lascivious thought for hours perhaps, +thus completely sapping the fountains of purity, establishing habits +of vice that will bind him with iron bands, and doing his physical +system more injury than if he had practiced self-abuse, and had the +emission in a few minutes. Jump out of bed at once on waking, and +never allow the thought to master you. + +13. A HAND BATH.--A hand bath in cold water every morning will +diminish those rampant sexual cravings, that crazy, burning, lustful +desire so sensualizing to men by millions; lessen prostitution by +toning down that passion which alone patronizes it, and relieve wives +by the millions of those excessive conjugal demands which ruin their +sexual health; besides souring their tempers, and then demanding +millions of money for resultant doctor bills. + +14. WILL GET WELL.--Feel no more concern about yourself. Say to +yourself, "I shall and will get well under this treatment," as you +certainly will. Pluck is half the battle. Mind acts and reads directly +on the sexual organs. Determining to get well gets you well; whilst +all fear that you will become worse makes you worse. All worrying over +your case as if it were hopeless, all moody and despondent feelings, +tear the life right out of these organs, whilst hopefulness puts new +life into them. + +[Illustration] + +[Illustration: INNOCENT CHILDHOOD.] + + + * * * * * + +THE CURSE AND CONSEQUENCE OF SECRET DISEASES. + + +1. THE SINS OF THE FATHERS ARE VISITED ON THE CHILDREN.--If persons +who contract secret diseases were the only sufferers, there would +be less pity and less concern manifested by the public and medical +profession. + +2. There are many secret diseases which leave an hereditary taint, and +innocent children and grandchildren are compelled to suffer as well as +those who committed the immoral act. + +3. GONORRHOEA (Clap) is liable to leave the parts sensitive and +irritable, and the miseries of spermatorrhoea, impotence, chronic +rheumatism, stricture and other serious ailments may follow. + +4. SYPHILIS (Pox).--Statistics prove that over 30 per cent. of the +children born alive perish within the first year. Outside of this +frightful mortality, how many children are born, inheriting eruptions +of the skin, foul ulcerations swelling of the bones, weak eyes or +blindness, scrofula, idiocy, stunted growth, and finally insanity, all +on account of the father's early vices. The weaknesses and afflictions +of parents are by natural laws visited upon their children. + +5. The mother often takes the disease from her husband, and she +becomes an innocent sufferer to the dreaded disease. However, some +other name generally is applied to the disease, and with perfect +confidence in her husband she suffers pain all her life, ignorant of +the true cause. Her children have diseases of the eyes, skin, glands +and bones, and the doctor will apply the term scrofula, when the +result is nothing more or less than inherited syphilis. Let every man +remember, the vengeance to a vital law knows only justice, not mercy, +and a single moment of illicit pleasure will bring many curses upon +him, and drain out the life of his innocent children, and bring a +double burden of disease and sorrow to his wife. + +6. If any man who has been once diseased is determined to marry, he +should have his constitution tested thoroughly and see that every seed +of the malady in the system has been destroyed. He should bathe +daily in natural sulphur waters, as, for instance, the hot springs in +Arkansas, or the sulphur springs in Florida, or those springs known as +specific remedies for syphilic diseases. As long as the eruptions on +the skin appear by bathing in sulphur water there is danger, and if +the eruptions cease and do not appear, it is very fair evidence that +the disease has left the system, yet it is not an infallible test. + +7. How many bright and intelligent young men have met their doom and +blighted the innocent lives of others, all on account of the secret +follies and vices of men. + +8. PROTECTION.--Girls, you, who are too poor and too honest to +disguise aught in your character, with your sweet soul shining through +every act of your lives, beware of the men who smile upon you. Study +human nature, and try and select a virtuous companion. + +10. SYPHILITIC POISON INERADICABLE.--Many of our best and ablest +physicians assert that syphilitic poison, once infected, there can be +no total disinfection during life; some of the virus remains in +the system, though it may seem latent. Boards of State Charities in +discussing the causes of the existence of whole classes of defectives +hold to the opinion given above. The Massachusetts board in its report +has these strong words on the subject: + +"The worst is that, though years may have passed since its active +stage, it permeates the very seed of life and causes strange +affections or abnormalities in the offspring, or it tends to lessen +their vital force, to disturb or to repress their growth, to lower +their standard of mental and bodily vigor, and to render life puny and +short." + +11. A SERPENT'S TOOTH.--"_The direct blood-poisoning, caused by the +absorption into the system of the virus (syphilis) is more hideous and +terrible in its effect than that of a serpent's tooth._ This may kill +outright, and there's an end; but that, stingless and painless, slowly +and surely permeates and vitiates the whole system of which it becomes +part and parcel, like myriads of trichinae, and can never be utterly +cast out, even by salivation. + +"Woe to the family and to the people in whose veins the poison +courses! + +"It would seem that nothing could end the curse except utter +extermination. That, however, would imply a purpose of eternal +vengeance, involving the innocent with the guilty." + +This disease compared with small-pox is as an ulcer upon a finger +to an ulcer in the vitals. Small-pox does not vitiate the blood of +a people; this disease does. Its existence in a primary form implies +moral turpitude. + +12. CASES CITED.--Many cases might be cited. We give but one. A man +who had contracted the disease reformed his ways and was apparently +cured. He married, and although living a moral life was compelled to +witness in his little girl's eye-balls, her gums, and her breath the +result of his past sins. No suffering, no expense, no effort would +have been too great could he but be assured that his offspring might +be freed from these results. + +13. PREVENTION BETTER THAN CURE.--Here is a case where the old adage, +"An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure," may be aptly +applied. Our desire would be to herald to all young men in stentorian +tones the advice, "Avoid as a deadly enemy any approaches or probable +pitfalls of the disease. Let prevention be your motto and then you +need not look for a cure." + +14. HELP PROFFERED.--Realizing the sad fact that many are afflicted +with this disease we would put forth our utmost powers to help even +these, and hence give on the following pages some of the best methods +of cure. + + +HOW TO CURE GONORRHOEA (Clap). + +CAUSES, IMPURE CONNECTIONS, ETC. + +SYMPTOMS.--As the disease first commences to manifest itself, the +patient notices a slight itching at the point of the male organ, which +is shortly followed by a tingling or smarting sensation, especially +on making water. This is on account of the inflammation, which now +gradually extends backward, until the whole canal is involved. The +orifice of the urethra is now noticed to be swollen and reddened, and +on inspection a slight discharge will be found to be present. And +if the penis is pressed between the finger and thumb, matter or pus +exudes. As the inflammatory stage commences, the formation of pus +is increased, which changes from a thin to a thick yellow color, +accompanied by a severe scalding on making water. The inflammation +increases up to the fifth day, often causing such pain, on urinating, +that the patient is tortured severely. When the disease reaches its +height, the erections become somewhat painful, when the discharge may +be streaked with blood. + +HOME TREATMENT. + +First, see that the bowels are loose--if not, a cathartic should be +given. If the digestive powers are impaired, they should be corrected +and the general health looked after. If the system is in a good +condition, give internally five drops of gelseminum every two hours. +The first thing to be thought of is to pluck the disease in its +bud, which is best done by injections. The best of these are: tinct. +hydrastis, one drachm; pure water, four ounces; to be used three times +a day after urinating. Zinc, sulphate, ten grains; pure water, eight +ounces; to be used after urinating every morning and night. Equal +parts of red wine and pure water are often used, and are of high +repute, as also one grain of permanganate of potash to four ounces of +water. + +If the above remedies are ineffectual, a competent physician should be +consulted. + +GENERAL TREATMENT.--One of the best injections for a speedy cure is: + + Hydrastis, 1 oz. + Water, 5 oz. + +Mix and with a small syringe inject into the penis four or five times +a day after urinating, until relieved, and diminish the number of +injections as the disease disappears. No medicine per mouth need be +given, unless the patient is in poor health. + + +SYPHILIS (POX). + +1. This is the worst of all diseases except cancer--no tissue of +the body escapes the ravages of this dreadful disease--bone, muscle, +teeth, skin and every part of the body are destroyed by its deforming +and corroding influence. + +2. SYMPTOMS.--About eight days after the exposure a little redness and +then a pimple, which soon becomes an open sore, makes its appearance, +on or about the end of the penis in males or on the external or inner +parts of the uterus of females. Pimples and sores soon multiply, and +after a time little hard lumps appear in the groin, which soon develop +into a blue tumor called _bubo._ Copper colored spots may appear in +the face, hair fall out, etc. Canker and ulcerations in the mouth and +various parts of the body soon develop. + +3. TREATMENT.--Secure the very best physician your means will allow +without delay. + +4. LOCAL TREATMENT OF BUBOES.--To prevent suppuration, treatment must +be instituted as soon as they appear. Compresses, wet in a solution +composed of half an ounce of muriate of ammonia, three drachms of the +fluid extract of belladonna, and a pint of water, are beneficial, and +should be continuously applied. The tumor may be scattered by painting +it once a day with tincture of iodine. + +5. FOR ERUPTIONS.--The treatment of these should be mainly +constitutional. Perfect cleanliness should be observed, and the +sulphur, spirit vapor, or alkaline bath freely used. Good diet and +the persistent use of alteratives will generally prove successful in +removing this complication. + +RECIPE FOR SYPHILIS. + Bin-iodide of mercury, 1 gr. + Extract of licorice, 32 gr. + +Make into 16 pills. Take one morning and night. + +_LOTION._ + Bichloride of mercury, 15 gr. + Lime water, 1 pt. + +Shake well, and wash affected parts night and morning. + +FOR ERUPTIONS ON TONGUE. + Cyanide of silver, 1/2 gr. + Powdered iridis, 2 gr. + +Divide into 10 parts. To be rubbed on tongue once a day. + +FOR ERUPTIONS IN SYPHILIS. + A 5 per cent. ointment of carbolic acid, in a good preparation. + + +BUBO. + +TREATMENT. + Warm poultice of linseed meal, + Mercurial plaster, + Lead ointment. + + +GLEET (CHRONIC CLAP). + +1. SYMPTOMS.--When gonorrhoea is not cured at the end of twenty-one or +twenty-eight days, at which time all discharge should have ceased, we +have a condition known as chronic clap, which is nothing more or less +than gleet. At this time most of the symptoms have abated, and the +principal one needing medical attention is the discharge, which is +generally thin, and often only noticed in the morning on arising, when +a scab will be noticed, glutinating the lips of the external orifice. +Or, on pressing with the thumb and finger from behind, forward, a +thin, white discharge can be noticed. + +2. HOME TREATMENT.--The diet of patients affected with this disease +is all-important, and should have careful attention. The things that +should be avoided are highly spiced and stimulating foods and drinks, +as all forms of alcohol, or those containing acids. Indulgence in +impure thoughts is often sufficient to keep a discharge, on account +of the excitement it produces to the sensitive organs, thus inducing +erections, which always do harm. + +3. GENERAL TREATMENT.--The best injection is: + Nitrate of silver, 1/4 grain + Pure water, 1 oz. + Inject three or four times a day after urinating. + +STRICTURE OF THE URETHRA. + +SYMPTOMS.--The patient experiences difficulty in voiding the urine, +several ineffectual efforts being made before it will flow. The stream +is diminished in size, of a flattened or spiral form, or divided in +two or more parts, and does not flow with the usual force. + +TREATMENT.--It is purely a surgical case and a competent surgeon must +be consulted. + + +PHIMOSIS. + +1. CAUSE.--Is a morbid condition of the penis, in which the glans +penis cannot be uncovered, either on account of a congenital smallness +of the orifice of the foreskin, or it may be due to the acute stage of +gonorrhoea, or caused by the presence of soft chancre. + +2. SYMPTOMS.--It is hardly necessary to give a description of the +symptoms occurring in this condition, for it will be easily diagnosed, +and its appearances are so indicative that all that is necessary is to +study into its cause and treat the disease with reference to that. + +TREATMENT.--If caused from acute gonorrhoea, it should be treated +first by hot fomentations, to subdue the swelling, when the glans +penis can be uncovered. If the result of the formation of chancre +under the skin, they should be treated by a surgeon, for it may result +in the sloughing off of the end of the penis, unless properly treated. + +[Illustration: ILLUSTRATING MAGNETIC INFLUENCES. ANIMAL MAGNETISM IS +SUPPOSED TO RADIATE FROM AND ENCIRCLE EVERY HUMAN BEING.] + + + * * * * * + +ANIMAL MAGNETISM. + +WHAT IT IS AND HOW TO USE IT. + + +1. MAGNETISM EXISTING BETWEEN THE BODIES OF MANKIND.--It is rational +to believe that there is a magnetism existing between the bodies of +mankind, which may have either a beneficial or a damaging effect upon +our health, according to the conditions which are produced, or the +nature of the individuals who are brought in contact with each other. +As an illustration of this point we might consider that, all nature is +governed by the laws of attraction and repulsion, or in other words, +by positive and negative forces. These subtle forces or laws in +nature which we call attraction or repulsion, are governed by the +affinity--or sameness--or the lack of affinity--or sameness--which +exists between what may be termed the combination of atoms or +molecules which goes to make up organic structure. + +2. LAW OF ATTRACTION.--Where this affinity--or sameness--exists +between the different things, there is what we term the law of +attraction, or what may be termed the disposition to unite together. +Where there is no affinity existing between the nature of the +different particles of matter, there is what may be termed the law +of repulsion, which has a tendency to destroy the harmony which would +otherwise take place. + +3. MAGNETISM OF THE MIND.--Now, what is true of the magnet and steel, +is also true--from the sameness of their nature--of two bodies. And +what is true of the body in this sense, is also true of the sameness +or magnetism of the mind. Hence, _by the laying on of hands_, or by +the association of the minds of individuals, we reach the same result +as when a combination is produced in any department of nature. Where +this sameness of affinity exists, there will be a blending of forces, +which has a tendency to build up vitality. + +4. A PROOF.--As a proof of this position, how often have you found +the society of strangers to be so repulsive to your feelings, that +you have no disposition to associate. Others seem to bring with them +a soothing influence that draws you closer to them. All these +involuntary likes and dislikes are but the results of the +_animal magnetism_ that we are constantly throwing off from our +bodies,--although seemingly imperceptible to our internal senses.--The +dog can scent his master, and determine the course which he pursues, +no doubt from similar influences. + +5. HOME HARMONY.--Many of the infirmities that afflict humanity are +largely due to a want of an understanding of its principles, and +the right applications of the same. I believe that if this law of +magnetism was more fully understood and acted upon, there would be a +far greater harmony in the domestic circle; the health of parents and +children might often be preserved where now sickness and discord so +frequently prevail. + +6. THE LAW OF MAGNETISM.--When two bodies are brought into contact +with each other, the weak must naturally draw from the strong until +both have become equal. And as long as this equality exists there will +be perfect harmony between individuals, because of the reciprocation +which exists in their nature. + +7. SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST.--But if one should gain the advantage of +the other in magnetic attraction, the chances are that through the +law of development, or what has been termed the "Survival of the +Fittest"--the stronger will rob the weaker until one becomes robust +and healthy, while the other grows weaker and weaker day by day. +This frequently occurs with children sleeping together, also between +husband and wife. + +8. SLEEPING WITH INVALIDS.--Healthy, hearty, vigorous persons sleeping +with a diseased person is always at a disadvantage. The consumptive +patient will draw from the strong, until the consumptive person +becomes the strong patient and the strong person will become the +consumptive. There are many cases on record to prove this statement. +A well person should never sleep with an invalid if he desires to keep +his health unimpaired, for the weak will take from the strong, until +the strong becomes the weak and the weak the strong. Many a husband +has died from a lingering disease which saved his wife from an early +grave. He took the disease from his wife because he was the stronger, +and she became better and he perished. + +9. HUSBAND AND WIFE.--It is not always wise that husband and wife +should sleep together, nor that children--whose temperament does not +harmonize--should be compelled to sleep in the same bed. By the same +law it is wrong for the young to sleep with old persons. Some have +slept in the same bed with persons, when in the morning they have +gotten up seemingly more tired than when they went to bed. At other +times with different persons, they have lain awake two-thirds of +the night in pleasant conversation and have gotten up in the morning +without scarcely realizing that they had been to sleep at all, yet +have felt perfectly rested and refreshed. + +10. MAGNETIC HEALING, OR WHAT HAS BEEN KNOWN AS THE LAYING ON OF +HANDS.--A nervous prostration is a negative condition beneath the +natural, by the laying on of hands a person in a good, healthy +condition is capable of communicating to the necessity of the weak. +For the negative condition of the patient will as naturally draw from +the strong, as the loadstone draws from the magnet, until both become +equally charged. And as fevers are a positive condition of the system +"beyond the natural," the normal condition of the healer will, by the +laying on of the hands, absorb these positive atoms, until the fever +of the patient becomes reduced or cured. As a proof of this the +magnetic healer often finds himself or herself prostrated after +treating the weak, and excited or feverish after treating a feverish +patient. + +[Illustration: WELL MATED.] + + + * * * * * + +HOW TO READ CHARACTER. + + +HOW TO TELL DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY THE NOSE. + + +1. LARGE NOSES.--Bonaparte chose large-nosed men for his generals, and +the opinion prevails that large noses indicate long heads and strong +minds. Not that great noses cause great minds, but that the motive or +powerful temperament cause both. + +2. FLAT NOSES.--Flat noses indicate flatness of mind and character, by +indicating a poor, low organic structure. + +3. BROAD NOSES.--Broad noses indicate large passage-ways to the lungs, +and this, large lungs and vital organs and this, great strength of +constitution, and hearty animal passions along with selfishness; for +broad noses, broad shoulders, broad heads, and large animal organs go +together. But when the nose is narrow at the base, the nostrils are +small, because the lungs are small and need but small avenues for air; +and this indicates a predisposition to consumptive complaints, along +with an active brain and nervous system, and a passionate fondness for +literary pursuits. + +4. SHARP NOSES.--Sharp noses indicate a quick, clear, penetrating, +searching, knowing, sagacious mind, and also a scold; indicate warmth +of love, hate, generosity, moral sentiment--indeed, positiveness in +everything. + +5. BLUNT NOSES.--Blunt noses indicate and accompany obtuse intellects +and perceptions, sluggish feelings, and a soulless character. + +6. ROMAN NOSES.--The Roman nose indicates a martial spirit, love +of debate, resistance, and strong passions, while hollow, pug +noses indicate a tame, easy, inert, sly character, and straight, +finely-formed Grecian noses harmonious characters. Seek their +acquaintance. + + +DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY STATURE. + +1. TALL PERSONS.--Tall persons have high heads, and are aspiring, aim +high, and seek conspicuousness, while short ones have flat heads, and +seek the lower forms of worldly pleasures. Tall persons are rarely +mean, though often grasping; but very penurious persons are often +broad-built. + +2. SMALL PERSONS.--Small persons generally have exquisite mentalities, +yet less power--the more precious the article, the smaller the package +in which it is done up,--while great men are rarely dwarfs, though +great size often co-exists with sluggishness. + + +DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY THE WALK. + +1. AWKWARD.--Those whose motions are awkward yet easy, possess much +efficiency and positiveness of character, yet lack polish; and just +in proportion as they become refined in mind will their movements be +correspondingly improved. A short and quick step indicates a brisk and +active but rather contracted mind, whereas those who take long steps +generally have long heads; yet if the step is slow, they will make +comparatively little progress, while those whose step is long and +quick will accomplish proportionately much, and pass most of their +competitors on the highway of life. + +2. A DRAGGING STEP.--Those who sluff or drag their heels, drag and +drawl in everything; while those who walk with a springing, bouncing +step, abound in mental snap and spring. Those whose walk is mincing, +affected, and artificial, rarely, if ever, accomplish much; whereas +those who walk carelessly, that is, naturally, are just what they +appear to be, and put on nothing for outside show. + +3. THE DIFFERENT MODES OF WALKING.--In short, every individual has +his own peculiar mode of moving, which exactly accords with his mental +character; so that, as far as you can see such modes, you can decipher +such outlines of character. + + +THE DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY LAUGHING. + +1. LAUGHTER EXPRESSIVE OF CHARACTER.--Laughter is very expressive +of character. Those who laugh very heartily have much cordiality and +whole-souledness of character, except that those who laugh heartily at +trifles have much feeling, yet little sense. Those whose giggles +are rapid but light, have much intensity of feeling, yet lack power; +whereas those who combine rapidity with force in laughing, combine +them in character. + +2. VULGAR LAUGH.--Vulgar persons always laugh vulgarly, and refined +persons show refinement in their laugh. Those who ha, ha right out, +unreservedly, have no cunning, and are open-hearted in everything; +while those who suppress laughter, and try to control their +countenances in it, are more or less secretive. Those who laugh with +their mouths closed are non-committal; while those who throw it wide +open are unguarded and unequivocal in character. + +3. SUPPRESSED LAUGHTER.--Those who, suppressing laughter for a +while, burst forth volcano-like, have strong characteristics, but are +well-governed, yet violent when they give way to their feelings. Then +there is the intellectual laugh, the love laugh, the horse laugh, the +philoprogenitive laugh, the friendly laugh, and many other kinds of +laugh, each indicative of corresponding mental developments. + + +DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY THE MODE OF SHAKING HANDS. + +THEIR EXPRESSION OF CHARACTER.--Thus, those who give a tame and loose +hand, and shake lightly, have a cold, if not heartless and selfish +disposition, rarely sacrificing much for others, are probably +conservatives, and lack warmth and soul. But those who grasp +firmly, and shake heartily, have a corresponding whole-souledness of +character, are hospitable, and will sacrifice business to friends; +while those who bow low when they shake hands, add deference to +friendship, and are easily led, for good or bad, by friends. + +[Illustration: AN EASY-GOING DISPOSITION.] + + +THE DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY THE MOUTH AND EYES. + +1. DIFFERENT FORMS OF MOUTHS.--Every mouth differs from every +other, and indicates a coincident character. Large mouths express +a corresponding quantity of mentality, while small ones indicate a +lesser amount. A coarsely-formed mouth indicates power, while one +finely-formed indicates exquisite susceptibilities. Hence small, +delicately formed mouths indicate only common minds, with very fine +feelings and much perfection of character. + +2. CHARACTERISTICS.--Whenever the muscles about the mouth are +distinct, the character is correspondingly positive, and the reverse. +Those who open their mouths wide and frequently, thereby evince an +open soul, while closed mouths, unless to hide deformed teeth, are +proportionately secretive. + +3. EYES.--Those who keep their eyes half shut are peek-a-boos and +eaves-droppers. + +4. EXPRESSIONS OF THE EYE.--The mere expression of the eye conveys +precise ideas of the existing and predominant states of the mentality +and physiology. As long as the constitution remains unimpaired, +the eye is clear and bright, but becomes languid and soulless in +proportion as the brain has been enfeebled. Wild, erratic persons +have a half-crazed expression of eye, while calmness, benignancy, +intelligence, purity, sweetness, love, lasciviousness, anger, and all +the other mental affections, express themselves quite as distinctly by +the eye as voice, or any other mode. + +6. COLOR OF THE EYES.--Some inherit fineness from one parent, and +coarseness from the other, while the color of the eye generally +corresponds with that of the skin, and expresses character. Light eyes +indicate warmth of feeling, and dark eyes power. + +6. GARMENTS.--Those, who keep their coats buttoned up, fancy +high-necked and closed dresses, etc., are equally non-communicative, +but those who like open, free, flowing garments, are equally +open-hearted and communicative. + + +THE DISPOSITION AND CHARACTER BY THE COLOR OF THE HAIR. + +1. DIFFERENT COLORS.--Coarseness and fineness of texture in nature +indicate coarse and fine-grained feelings and characters, and since +black signifies power, and red ardor, therefore coarse black hair +and skin signify great power of character of some kind, along with +considerable tendency to the sensual; yet fine black hair and skin +indicate strength of character, along with purity and goodness. + +2. COARSE HAIR.--Coarse black hair and skin, and coarse red hair +and whiskers, indicate powerful animal passions, together with +corresponding strength of character; while fine or light, or auburn +hair indicates quick susceptibilities, together with refinement and +good taste. + +3. FINE HAIR.--Fine dark or brown hair indicates the combination of +exquisite susceptibilities with great strength of character, while +auburn hair, with a florid countenance, indicates the highest order of +sentiment and intensity of feeling, along with corresponding purity +of character, combined with the highest capacities for enjoyment and +suffering. + +4. CURLY HAIR.--Curly hair or beard indicates a crisp, excitable, and +variable disposition, and much diversity of character--now blowing +hot, now cold--along with intense love and hate, gushing, glowing +emotions, brilliancy, and variety of talent. So look out for ringlets; +they betoken April weather--treat them gently, lovingly, and you +will have the brightest, clearest sunshine, and the sweetest balmiest +breezes. + +5. STRAIGHT HAIR.--Straight, even, smooth, and glossy hair indicate +strength, harmony, and evenness of character, and hearty, whole-souled +affections, as well as a clear head and superior talents; while +straight, stiff, black hair and beard indicate a coarse, strong, +rigid, straight-forward character. + +6. ABUNDANCE OF HAIR.--Abundance of hair and beard signifies virility +and a great amount of character; while a thin beard signifies +sterility and a thinly settled upper story, with rooms to let, so that +the beard is very significant of character. + +7. FIERY RED HAIR indicates a quick and fiery disposition. Persons +with such hair generally have intense feelings--love and hate +intensely--yet treat them kindly, and you have the warmest friends, +but ruffle them, and you raise a hurricane on short notice. This is +doubly true of auburn curls. It takes but little kindness, however, to +produce a calm and render them as fair as a Summer morning. Red-headed +people in general are not given to hold a grudge. They are generally +of a very forgiving disposition. + + +SECRETIVE DISPOSITIONS. + +1. A man that naturally wears his hat upon the top or back of the head +is frank and outspoken; will easily confide and have many confidential +friends, and is less liable to keep a secret. He will never do you any +harm. + +2. If a man wears his hat well down on the forehead, shading the eyes +more or less, will always keep his own counsel. He will not confide a +secret, and if criminally inclined will be a very dangerous character. + +3. If a lady naturally inclines to high-necked dresses and collars, +she will keep her secrets to herself if she has any. In courtship or +love she is an uncertainty, as she will not reveal sentiments of her +heart. The secretive girl, however, usually makes a good housekeeper +and rarely gets mixed into neighborhood difficulties. As a wife she +will not be the most affectionate, nor will she trouble her husband +with many of her trials or difficulties. + + + * * * * * + +TWILIGHT SLEEP. + + +Some years ago two German Physicians, Kroenig and Grauss, of the +University of Baden, startled the world by announcing: "Dammerschlaf" +or "Twilight Sleep," a treatment which rendered childbirth almost +painless and free from dangerous complications. A woman's clinic +was established at Freiburg where a combination of scopolamine and +morphine was given. The muscular activity of the pelvic organs was +not lessened, the length of labor was shortened, and instruments were +rarely necessary. + +ABBOTT'S H-M-C is another sedative composed of hyoseine, morphine, and +cactoid. It is less dangerous than the other remedy, and accomplishes +the same result, hence is greatly preferred. + +THE UTMOST CAUTION is necessary in the administration of either of +these drugs, and the most competent medical supervision is essential +to their success. + +CAUTIONS.--The patient should not be left a moment without medical +supervision. The lying in chamber should be darkened, and kept as +quiet as possible. + + + * * * * * + +PAINLESS CHILDBIRTH. + + +WHY SHOULD A WOMAN SUFFER?--Childbirth is a natural function, as +natural as eating, sleeping or walking. If the laws of nature are +complied with it loses most, if not all, of its terrors. The facts +show that Indian women, and those of other uncivilized races have +children without experiencing pain, and with none of the so common +modern complications. + +WHAT IS THE REASON?--They live a natural, out of doors life, free from +the evils and restrictions of present day civilization in dress and +habits of life. + +A NORMAL LIFE.--The expectant mother should therefore live a perfectly +rational life, keeping the stomach and intestines especially healthy +and active, and hence the general physical condition good. An +abundance of fresh air, hearty exercise, and childbirth will pass over +without any abnormal consequences. + + + * * * * * + +THE DISEASES OF WOMEN. + + +THE WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE HOME.--For centuries the world has stuck +to this rule. Because the woman has been considered less fit for the +struggles of the active workaday world, she has been kept at home, +shut in from the air and sunshine, deprived of healthy exercise, and +obliged to live a life of confinement and inactivity. + +WHAT IS THE RESULT?--In connection with menstruation, pregnancy and +child bearing a long list of diseases peculiar to woman have arisen, +most of which through proper food and exercise could be avoided. +In matters so vital to posterity false modesty and ignorance can no +longer be tolerated. + + +CHLOROSIS OR ANAEMIA. + +_Home Treatment_: Plenty of good food and fresh air will do much to +restore the blood. Keep the bowels free. Satisfactory results have +been brought about by a systematic use of iron as a tonic. + + + +DISORDERS OF THE MENSES. + +RETENTION OF MENSTRUATION. + +_Treatment_: When due to the condition of the blood, recommend good +food, fresh air, and sunshine to improve circulation. If the result of +cold and exposure means and appliances for restoring the circulation +must be adopted. + +In either case the bowels should be kept open by injections. + + +VICARIOUS MENSTRUATION. + +_Treatment_: No attempt should be made to stop the hemorrhage during +the monthly period. The discharge is usually light although it +occasionally causes great weakness. This disorder is caused by the +suppression of the menses, and must be treated accordingly between +periods. + + +CESSATION OF THE MENSES. + +Commonly called "Change of Life." + +_Treatment_: At this dangerous and trying period in a woman's life she +must adopt the utmost regularity in the habits of her existence. Hot +baths, taken just before retiring, will relieve the uncomfortable +feeling so common at this time of life. + + + +DISORDERS OF THE WOMB. + +CANCER OF THE WOMB. + +_Treatment_: Call at once a competent physician. + + +DISPLACEMENT OF THE WOMB. + +_Treatment_: Evacuate the bowels and the bladder by means of +injections, and the catheter. Place the fingers in the vagina, locate +the mouth of the womb, insert finger into it, and gently pull the +organ into its natural position. + + +DROPSY OF THE WOMB. + +_Treatment_: Use tonics freely together with vapor baths, and frequent +hot hip baths. + + +FALLING OF THE WOMB. + +_Treatment_: Build up the physical condition by an abundance of good +food, fresh air and sunshine, with moderate exercise. Astringent +injections and vaginal suppositories of oak bark, myrrh, and +cocoa-butter will usually bring relief. + + +INFLAMMATION OF THE WOMB. + +_Treatment_: Apply stimulating liniment to the abdomen. Keep body warm +and moist especially at extremities. Add 10-15 drops of carbolic acid +to one quart of warm water and use as a vaginal douche. Keep bowels +open. Furnish light, nourishing diet, and give tonics. + + +NEURALGIA OF THE WOMB. + +_Treatment_: Keep feet warm and give injections to the bowels of +lobelia, lady slipper, and skullcap. Rub the abdomen with liniment. +Absolute quiet, above all else, will bring relief. + + + +DISEASES OF THE VAGINA. + +VAGINITIS, OR INFLAMMATION OF THE VAGINA. + +_Treatment_: Complete rest. Use distilled sweet clover with a +slight infusion of lady slipper warm, three times a day as a vaginal +injection. + + +PROLAPSUS OF THE VAGINA. + +_Treatment_: When the walls of the vagina become folded upon +themselves through abortion, rupture during delivery, excessive +indulgence, masturbation, etc. it is called prolapsus. Use an +astringent suppository or injection. + + +SPASM OF THE VAGINA. + +_Treatment_: This is nothing more than a nervous condition causing the +muscles of the vagina to spasm thus closing the passage, and rendering +conception almost impossible. Outdoor exercise, light but nourishing +diet, and general attention to the nervous system will bring prompt +relief. Intercourse, if attempted, should be quiet and unfrequent. An +effort should be made to keep the thoughts on other subjects. + + + +DISEASES OF THE EXTERNAL FEMALE GENITALS. + +INFLAMMATION AND ABSCESS. + +_Treatment_: Wash the parts often with warm water, distilled witch +hazel, and strong infusion of lobelia. Keep the bowels free. In severe +cases apply poultices of ground flaxseed, sprinkled over with golden +seal and lobelia. After poultices are removed, cleanse parts with warm +water, containing a little tincture of myrrh. + + +PRURITIS. + +_Treatment_: A very mortifying and uncomfortable affliction, +accompanied by an almost uncontrollable desire to scratch the parts. +The itching is due to uncleanliness, excessive masturbation, violent +intercourse, inflammation of the bladder, stomach or liver trouble +etc. Bathe the affected parts well with borax water, and apply a +wash of equal parts witch hazel, and an infusion of lobelia. Use mild +laxatives to keep the bowels open. + + + +DISEASES OF THE OVARIES. + +DROPSY OF THE OVARIES. + +_Treatment_: An accumulation of fluid in the membranous sack about the +ovaries. An operation is necessary and is almost always successful. + + +INFLAMMATION OF THE OVARIES. + +_Treatment_: In mild cases rub abdomen with liniment and apply hot +water bottles. Perfect quiet is essential to an early recovery. + + +TUMORS OF THE OVARIES. + +_Treatment_: A surgical operation is the only means of cure. + + + * * * * * + +REMEDIES FOR DISEASES OF WOMEN. + + +AFTER PAINS: Salophen in fifteen grain doses. If necessary take +another dose in two hours. Should the pains reappear the next day, +repeat the dosage. + +AMENORRHEA: Tincture chloride of iron, three drams; tincture +cantharides, one dram; tincture guaiac ammon., one-half dram; +tincture aloe, one-half ounce; syrup enough to make six ounces. Dose: +Tablespoonful after meals. + +CANCER OF THE WOMB: Make a solution and use in douches: Picric acid, +two one-half dram; water one and one-half pint; the patient must lie +flat on back while fluid runs up into the vagina, hips must be raised; +retain the fluid as long as possible. Later on make a cotton tampon, +saturated with chloral hydrate, one-half dram; cocaine hydrochloride, +one and one-half grain; dissolve in five drams of water. Use injection +and tampon morning and night. + +DYSMENORRHEA: Asafoetida, forty grains; ext. Valerian, twenty grains; +ext. Cannabis Indica, five grains; make twenty pills. Dose: One pill +after meals. Use the following ointment for the pain in the back: Ext. +Hyoscyamus, thirty grains; ext. Belladonna, thirty grains; Adipis, one +ounce. Apply locally night and morning. + +EMMENAGOGUE: Ergotin, twenty grains; ext. cotton root bark, twenty +grains; Purified Aloes, twenty grains; Dried Ferrous sulphate, twenty +grains; ext. Savine, ten grains. Make twenty pills. Dose: One pill +four times a day. + +ENDOMETRITIS: Ext. Viburnum Prun, forty grains; ext. Hamamelis, twenty +grains; Ergotin, ten grains; ext. Nux Vomica, two grains; Hydrastin, +one grain. Make twenty pills. Dose: One pill morning and night. + +FIBROID TUMORS: Chromium Sulphate, four-grain tablets. Dose: One +tablet after meals. + +FISSURE OF NIPPLES: Apply Iodoform, one dram; carbolic acid, twenty +grains; white Petrolatum, one ounce. Apply at night; requires thorough +washing next morning. + +HELONIAS COMPOSITION: Helonias, fifteen grains; Squaw wine, sixty +grains; Viburnum Opulus, fifteen grains; Caulophyllum, fifteen grains; +syrup, two ounces. Dose: Teaspoonful every two hours. + +LEUCORRHOEA: Ext. Hyoscyamus, one dram; ext. Hamamelis, one dram; +tannic acid, one dram; ext. Helonias, one-half dram; Salicylic acid, +one dram; Alum, three drams; boric acid, five drams. Dissolve flat +teaspoonful in half cup of water, soak a cotton tampon and place +way up in the vagina. As a tonic take: Tincture Cinchona comp., two +ounces; tincture gentian comp., two ounces. Dose: Dessertspoonful +after meals. + +MENOPAUSE: Ammonium bromide, two drams; Potassium bromide, four drams; +aromatii spirits amoniae, six drams; camphor water enough to make six +ounces. Dose: One dessertspoonful, three times a day. + +MENORRHAGIA: Gallic acid, fifty grains; Ergotin, twenty grains; +Hydrastin, ten grains. Make twenty pills. Dose: One pill after meals. +Another prescription: Calcium chloride, two and one-half drams; syrup, +fifteen drams; water, six ounces. Dose: One tablespoonful morning and +night. + +MENSTRUAL IRREGULARITIES: Extracts of cramp bark, forty grains; +blue cohosh, ten grains; Squaw wine, forty grains; pokeberry, twenty +grains; strychnine, one grain. Make forty pills. Dose: One pill four +times a day until relieved. + +MENSTRUATION, PROFUSE: Extracts of white ash bark, two drams; black +haw, two drams; cramp bark, two drams; unicorn root, one dram; Squaw +wine, one dram; blue cohosh, one dram. Steep 24 hours in one-half +pint of water, add one-half pint of alcohol. Dose: Tablespoonful three +times a day. + +NEURALGIA OF WOMB: Fl. ext. henbane, two drams; Fl. ext. Indian hemp, +one dram; Fl. ext. snake root, four drams; spirits of camphor, two +drams; compound spirits of ether, three ounces. Dose: One teaspoonful +in water three times a day. Medicated hot sitz bath. + +OVARIAN CONGESTION: Black haw, sixty grains; Golden seal, sixty +grains; Jamaica dogwood, thirty grains; syrup and water, four ounces. +Dose: One teaspoonful three or four times a day. + +OVARIAN SEDATIVE: Lupulin, ten grains; ergotin, five grains; +scutellarin, ten grains; zinc bromide, two grains. Make twenty pills. +Dose: One pill after meals. + +VAGINISMUS: Strontium bromide, two drams; potassium bromide, two +drams; ammonium bromide, two drams; water to make ten ounces. Dose: +Tablespoonful morning and night. Make a suppository and insert night: +Cocaine hydrochlorate, two grains; ext. Belladonna, one and one-half +grains; Strontium bromide, four grains; Oil Theobromat, two drams. Use +every night one such suppository, placed high up in the vagina until +all signs of the difficulty are gone. + +VAGINITIS: Resorcine, forty grains; Salicylic acid, eight grains; +Betanaphtholis, one grain; add enough water to make it eight ounces. +Dose: Add to this mixture one tablespoonful to a quart of warm water +and douche vagina in above stated manner. Use also suppository as in +Vaginismus. + +VULVA ITCHING: Apply externally morning and night the following salve: +Boric acid, thirty grains; Oxide of zinc, sixty grains. Powdered +starch, sixty grains; Petrolatum, one ounce. Apply on cotton and to +affected parts. + +ULCERATIONS OF VAGINA OR WOMB: Insert a suppository each one made of +Boric acid, five grains; Powdered alum, five grains. Or the following +composition; Black haw, two grains; golden seal, two grains; add +enough cocoa butter to make one suppository. Insert and keep in over +night after a hot medicated vaginal douche is taken. + +UTERINE ASTRINGENT: Alum, three drams; zinc sulphate, two drams; +morphine sulphate, one grain; tannic acid, two drams; Boric acid, six +drams. Mix and use of it one tablespoonful dissolved in pint of warm +water. Inject slowly into vagina in recumbent position, retain the +douche fluid as long as possible. Later on insert when retiring a +vaginal suppository. + +UTERINE HEMORRHAGES: Take Stypticin tablets according to printed +direction on the package. + +UTERINE TONIC: Helonin, three grains; Caulophyllin, three grains; +Macrotin, three grains; Hyoscyamine, three grains. Make twenty pills. +Dose: One pill after meals. + +UTERINE TONIC AND STIMULANT: Take Elixir of Helonias, which can be +bought in drug stores, or get the following tinctures and make it at +home: Partridge berry, ninety-six grains; unicorn root, forty-eight +grains; Blue cohosh, forty-eight grains; cramp bark, forty-eight +grains. Steep these for 24 hours in one-half pint of water, +add one-half pint of alcohol, then strain and bottle. Dose: One +teaspoonful three times a day. + +WHITES: Dried alum, one-half ounce; Borax, two ounces; boric acid, +four ounces; Thymol, ten grains; Eucalyptol, ten grains; Oil of +peppermint, two drams. Dissolve, one teaspoonful of the mixture in a +pint of hot water and use as a douche morning and night. + +WOMB SPASMS: Cramp bark, one ounce; skullcap, one ounce; skunk +cabbage, four drams. Steep 24 hours in one-half pint of water, add +one-half pint of alcohol. Dose: One tablespoonful three times a day. + + + * * * * * + +[Transcriber's Note: The following "Alphabetical Index" is as it +appears in the original book. It is not in alphabetical order.] + + +ALPHABETICAL INDEX. + +A + +Abstention, 137 +Abstinence, 52 +Abuse After Marriage, 202 +Abortion or Miscarriage, 253 +Abortion, Causes and Symptoms, 253 +Abortion, Home Treatment, 254 +Abortion, Prevention of, 254 +Abortion, The Sin of Herod, 257 +Abortion, The Violation of all Law, 256 +Absence of Physician, 300 +Abraham a Polygamist, 133 +A Broken Heart, 159 +Aboriginal, Australian, 162 +Admired and Beloved, 28 +Advantages of Wedlock, 135 +Advice to Newly Married Couples, 201 +Advice to Married and Unmarried, 181 +Advice to Bridegroom, 201 +Advice to Young Mothers, 286 +Advice to Young Married People, 435 +Advice to Young Men, 437 +Adultery in the Heart, 409 +After Birth, 300 +Affectionate Parents, 227 +Amenorrhoea, 355 +Amativeness or Connubial Love, 122 +Animal Passions, 434 +Animal Impulse, 227 +Apoplexy, 365 +Artificial Impregnation, 270 +Arms, Beautiful, 131 +Assassin of Garfield, 294 +Asking an Honest Question, 61 +Associates, Influence of, 11 +Authority of the Wife, 267 + +B + +Bad Company, The Result of, 13 +Bad Society, 381 +Bad Dressing, 409 +Bad Books, 421 +Bad Breath, 365 +Bathing, Rules for, 371-373 +Bath, The, 83 +Barber's Shampoos, 107 +Bad Breast, 322 +Bastards or Illegitimates, 224 +Beginning of Life, 5 +Begin at Right Place, 7 +Begin Well, 17 +Beauty and Style, 27 +Beauty a Dangerous Gift, 27 +Beautiful Women, Beware of, 27 +Beauty in Dress, 89 +Beauty, 91-92 +Beauty Which Perishes Not, 92 +Beauty, Sensible Hints to, 95 +Beautiful Arms, 131 +"Be Ye Fruitful and Multiply", 201 +Beautiful Children, How to Have, 288 +Birth, Conditions of, 229 +Biliousness, 279, 357, 363 +Bites and Stings of Insects, 359 +Bloom and Grace of Youth, 97 +Black-heads, and Flesh Worms, 112 +Blue Feelings, 159 +Bleeding, 364 +Both Puzzled, 77 +Bodily Symmetry, 100, 105 +Boils, 364 +Breath, The, 86 +Broad Hips, 130 +Breach of Confidence, 191 +Bride, The, 199 +"Bridal Tour", 200 +Breasts, Swelled and Sore, 348 +Burns, 13, 355, 359 +Busts, Full, 130 +Bunions, 364 +Bubo Treatment, 468 + +C + +Care of the Person, 84 +Care of the Hair, 107 +Cause of Family Troubles, 217 +Calamities of Lust, 416-419 +Causes of Sterility, 251 +Causes of Divorce, 258-262 +Care of New-Born Infant, 315 +Cataracts of the Eyes, 355 +Causes of Prostitution, 412 +Celibacy, Disadvantages of, 138 +Chinese Marriage System, 133 +Children, Healthy and Beautiful, 222-227 +Children, Idiots, Criminals and Lunatics, 222 +Children's Condition Depends on Parents, 225 +Children, All, May Die, 226 +Children, Too Many, 229 +Children, Foolish Dread of, 241 +Character Lost, 9 +Character, Formation of, 11 +Character, Essence, 12 +Character Exhibits Itself, 15 +Character, Beauty of, 18 +Child, An Honored, 19 +Character, School of, 23 +Child, The, is Father of the Man, 24 +Character, Female, Influence of, 30 +Children, Fond of, 62 +Character, Influence of Good, 73 +Character is Property, 74 +Child Bearing without Pain, 304, 479 +Chickenpox, 346, 363 +Chapped Hands, 355, 356 +Chilblains, 359 +Child Training, 396 +Chastity and Purity, 400 +Character, How to Read, 473 +Civilization, 18 +Circumcision, 394 +Cigarette Smoking, Effects of, 445, 450 +Clap--Gonorrhoea, 464 +Clap--Gonorrhoea Treatment, 466 +Corsets, 101-103 +Corset, Egyptian, 104 +Coloring for Eyelashes and Eyebrows, 108 +Confidence, 122 +Connubial Love, 122 +Concubinage and Polygamy, 133 +Courtship and Marriage, 148 +Court Scientifically, 166 +Consummation of Marriage, 202 +Conception, 239 +Conception, Its Limitations, 240 +Conceptions and Accidents of Lust, 256 +Courtship and Marriage, 267 +Control, Self, 12 +Coarseness, 24 +Correspondence, 36 +Conversation, 79 +Conception or Impregnation, 269 +Conception, The Proper Time for, 289 +Colic, 318, 338, 356 +Convulsions, Infantile, 319 +Constipation, To Prevent, 323, 339 +Coughs, Colds, etc., 360 +Cold Water for Diseases, 369 +Cook for the Sick, How to, 375 +Cramps, 277, 356 +Croup, How to Treat, 343 +Crimping Hair, 109 +Criminals and Heredity, 399 +Crowning Sin of the Age, 411 +Cuts, 358, 360 +Cultivate Modesty, 210 +Cultivate Personal Attractiveness, 210 +Cultivate Physical Attractiveness, 211 +Curse of Manhood, The, 433 + +D + +Day Dreaming, 26 +Dangerous Diseases, 257 +Danger in Lack of Knowledge, 403 +Deformities, 98 +Development of the Individual, 98 +Desertion and Divorce, 187 +Desire, Stimulated by Drugs, 250 +Desire Moderated by Drugs, 250 +Deformities, 264 +Desire, Want of, 205 +Deafness, How to Cure, 362 +Devil's Decoys, The, 419 +Disadvantages of Celibacy, 138 +Diseased, Parents, 144 +Disrupted Love, 159 +Divorces, 166 +Distress during Consummation, 202 +Diseases, Heredity and Transmission of, 263 +Diseases of Pregnancy, 274 +Diseases of Infants and Children, 338 +Diarrhoea, 340, 363 +Diphtheria, 346 +Diseases of Women and Treatment, 349, 480-485 +Disinfectant, 360 +Digestibility of Food, 374 +Dietetic Recipes, 375 +Diseases of Women, 483 +Dictionary of Medical Terms, 486 +Drink, 16 +Dress, 88 +Dress Affects Our Manners, 90 +Drugs which Stimulate Desire, 250 +Drugs which Moderate Desire, 250 +Drug Habit, The, 441 +Dude of the 17th Century, 87 +Duration of Pregnancy, 296 +Dyspepsia Cure, 360 + +E + +Early Marriages, 351, 410 +Education of Child in the Womb, 292 +Effects of Cigarette Smoking, 445-450 +Egyptian Dancer, An, 20 +Eruptions on the Skin, 272 +Etiquette, Rules on, 49 +Etiquette of Calls, 56 +Etiquette in Your Speech, 57 +Etiquette of Dress and Habits, 58 +Etiquette on the Street, 59 +Etiquette Between Sexes, 60 +Eugenic Baby Party, 75 +Eunuchs, 407 +Evidence of Conception, 269 +Expectant Mother, The, 284 +Exciting the Passions in Children, 404 +Exposed Youth, 427 +Excesses by Married Men, 434 +Eye Wash, 355 + +F + +Fame, 18 +Family Group, Blessing the, 19 +Family Government, 76 +False Beautifiers, 129 +False Appearance, 131 +Family Troubles, Cause of, 217 +Families, Small, 232 +Fallopian Tubes, 237 +Fake Medical Advice, 240, 250 +Fainting, 281 +Falling of the Womb, 350 +Fast Young Men, 435 +Female Character, Influence of, 30 +Female Beauty, 129 +Feet, Small, 130 +Female Organs, Conditions of, 204 +Female Magnetism, 235 +Female Sexual Organs, 235 +Feeding Infants, 319 +Fevers, 327 +Feet with Bad Odor, 354 +Felon, 358, 364 +Female Organs of Creative Life, 385 +First Love, 185 +First Conjugal Approach, 203 +Flirting, 166, 168 +Flirting and Its Dangers, 190 +Form, Male and Female, 98 +Former Customs, 162 +Fondling and Caressing, 168 +Folly of Follies, 217 +Foetal Heart, 273 +Follies of Youth, 468 +Free Lovers, 133 +Frequency of Intercourse, 208 +Full Busts, 130 + +G + +Garden of Eden, 133 +Gathered Breast, 322 +Generosity, 126 +Generative Organs, Male, 234 +Generative Organs, Female, 236 +Girls, Save the, 380 +Gland, The Penal, 235 +Gland, The Prostate, 235 +Gladstone, 8 +Gleet, Symptoms and Treatment of, 468 +Good Character, 73 +Gout, 362 +Gonorrhoea (Clap), 464 +Gonorrhoea (Clap), Remedy for, 466 +Grace, 28 +Gray Hair, 110 +Grave-Yard Statistics, 226 +Grossness of Sensuality, 419 + +H + +Hawaiian Islands and Marriage, 163 +Harlot's Woes, A, 431 +Habits, 17 +Hair and Beard, 85 +Hand in Hand, 92 +Hair, The Care of, 107-111 +Hate-Spats, 154 +Hap-Hazard Marriages, 218 +Hair, How to Remove, 360 +Harlot's Mess of Meat, The, 418 +Harlot's Influence, 431 +Health a Duty, 7 +Helps to Beauty, 95 +Heart, A Broken, 159 +Healthy Wives and Mothers, 183 +Hereditary Descent, 224 +Healthy People--Most Children, 226 +Heartburn, 276, 357 +Headache, 280, 355, 360, 363 +Health Rules for Babies, 314 +History of Marriage, 132 +Hints on Courtship and Marriage, 148-153 +Hints in Choosing a Partner, 162 +Hives, 354, 360 +Home Ties, 6, 22 +Home, The Best Regulated, 14 +Honesty or Knavery, 17 +Home Power, 23 +Home Makes the Man, 23 +Home the Best of Schools, 25 +Homely Men, 128 +Honeymoon, How to Perpetuate, 209 +Home Treatment, Diseases of Children, 338 +Home Treatment of the Secret Habit, 455 +How to Write Letters, 34-47 +How to Write Love Letters, 37 +How to Write Social Letters, 39 +How to Determine Perfect Human Figure, 99 +How to be a Good Wife, 210 +How to be a Good Husband, 212 +How to Calculate Time of Labor, 295 +How to Keep a Baby Well, 330-335 +How to Cook for the Sick, 375 +How Many Girls are Ruined, 190 +How to Overcome "Secret Habit", 389 +How to Tell a Victim of the "Secret Habit", 451 +How to Tell Children the Story of Life, 390-395, 401-403 +Hot Water for all Diseases, 368 +Husband, Whom to Choose for a, 144 +Husband's Brutality, 412 +Hymen or Vaginal Valve, 202, 203, 236 +Hysteria, 349 + +I + +Ignorance, 24 +Illicit Pleasures, 207 +Illegitimates or Bastards, 224 +Illegitimates, Character of, 225 +Impulse, 14 +Impolite, 70 +Improper Liberties, 168 +Improvement of the Race, 232 +Impotence and Sterility 248 +Impotence, Lack of Sexual Vigor, 251 +Improper Liberties During Courtship, 267 +Impregnation or Conception, 269, 283 +Impregnation Artificial, 270 +Immorality, Disease and Death, 416 +Independence, The Growth of, 6 +Influences, 18 +Integrity, 19 +Influence, The Mother's, 21 +Influence of Women, 30 +Intelligence, 126-131 +Intercourse, Proper, 205 +Indulgence, The Time for, 207 +Intercourse, Frequency of, 208 +Intercourse During Pregnancy, 207, 283 +Infanticide, 255 +Infantile Convulsions, 319 +Indigestion, 328 +Infant Teething, 336 +Inflammation of Womb, 349 +Inhumanities of Parents, 396 +Itching of External Parts, 279 + +J + +Jealousy, 156 +Jealousy--Its Cause and Cure, 219 +Juke Family, The, 243 + +K + +Kalmuck Tartar and Marriage, 163 +Keep the Boys Pure, 429 +Kindness, 28 +Kissing, 168 +Knowledge is Safety, 3 + +L + +Ladies' Society, 61 +Lady's Dress in Days of Greece, 100 +Lacing, 104 +Large Men, 126 +Lack of Knowledge, 267 +Letter Writing, 34-47 +Letters, Social, 39 +Leucorrhoea, 247, 349 +Lessons for Parents, 312 +Life Methods, 18 +Licentiousness, Beginning of, 151 +Limitation of Offspring, 242 +Liver-Spots, 281 +Love Letters, 37 +Love, 114-117 +Love, Power and Peculiarities of, 118 +Love, Turkish Way of Making, 120 +Love and Common Sense, 123 +Love-Spats, 154 +Love for the Dead, 160 +Loss of Desire, 205 +Longevity, 367 +Loss of Maiden Purity, 404 +Low Fiction, 421 +Lost Manhood Restored, 459 +Lung Trouble, 326 +Lustful Eyes, 410 + +M + +Marriage Excesses, 208 +Matrimonial Infelicity, 217 +Male Sexual Organs, 234 +Maternity a Diadem of Beauty, 262 +Marks and Deformities, 264 +Maternity, Preparation for, 266 +Marrying Too Early, 288 +Marry, Time to, 351 +Man Unsexed, 407 +Marriage Bed Resolutions, 427 +Man's Lost Powers, 436 +Man, The Ideal, 14 +Masculine Attention, 62 +Maternal Love, 24 +Manners, Table, 63 +Male Form, 98 +Marriage, History of, 132 +Marriage, 134 +Marriages, Too Early, 136-144 +Maids, Old, 140-143 +Marry, When and Whom to, 144 +Marrying First Cousins, 146 +Marriage, Hints on, 148 +Marriages, Unhappy, 151 +Matrimonial Pointers, 171 +Marriage Securities, 174 +Marrying for Wealth, 181 +Marriage, Time for, 191 +Marriage and Motherhood, 192 +Marriage, Consummation of, 202 +Manhood Wrecked and Rescued, 461 +Magnetism, 470-472 +Men Haters, 62 +Membership in Society, 66 +Mental Derangements, 264 +Menstruation During Pregnancy, 270 +Menstruation During Nursing, 352 +Measles, 328, 345, 363 +Menstruation, 351, 385 +Men Demand Purity, 427 +Miscarriage, 207, 253, 283 +Miscarriage, Causes and Symptoms, 253 +Miscarriage Home Treatment, 254 +Miscarriage Prevention, 254 +Middle Age, 436 +Mistakes Often Fatal, 7 +Mistakes of Parents, 185 +Moderation, 243 +Morning Sickness and Remedy, 271, 282 +Modified Milk, 329 +Moral Degeneracy, 414 +Moral Manhood, 414 +Moral Lepers, 433 +Moral Principle, 16 +Mother's Influence, 21 +Mother, A Devoted, 22 +Mohammedanism, 133 +Mormonism, 133 +Monogamy (Single Wife), 134 +Motherhood, 150 +Morganic Marriages, 162 +Murder of the Innocents, 255 +Mumps, 345, 358 + +N + +Name, A Good, 18 +Name, An Empty or an Evil, 20 +Nature's Remedy, 233 +Natural Waist, 105 +Newly Married Couples, Advice to, 201 +Neuralgia, 356, 360 +Need of Early Instruction, 380 +Non-Completed Intercourse, 411 +Nocturnal Emissions and Home Treatment, 459 +Nurseries, 24 +Nuptial Chamber, 202-204 +Nursing, 321 +Nursing Sick Children, 325 +Nude in Art, The, 422 + +O + +Obscene Literature, 421 +Offspring, The Improvement of, 222 +Old Maids, 140-143 +Ornaments, 94 +Our Secret Sins, 409 +Ovaries, 237-238 +Over-indulgence, 251 +Over-Worked Mothers, 285 + +P + +Parents Must Obey, 226 +Parents, Feeble and Diseased, 241 +Palpitation of the Heart, 281 +Pains and Ills in Nursing, 321 +Parents Must Teach Children, 391 +Passions in Children, 404 +Passionate Men, 127 +Parents, Diseased, 144 +Parents' Participation, 224 +Penal Gland, 235 +Personal Purity, 31, 415 +Penmanship, 34 +Personality of Others, 70 +Person, Care of the, 81 +Perfect Human Figure, 99 +Penalties for lost Virtue, 432 +Physical and Moral Degeneracy, 414 +Physical Deformities, 98 +Physical Perfection, 99 +Physical Relations of Marriage, 192 +Phimosis, Symptoms and Treatment, 469 +Piles, 280, 362 +Pimples or Facial Eruptions, 111 +Plea for Purity, A, 380 +Plain Words to Parents, 390 +Pleasures, Illicit, 207 +Population Limited, 232 +Poison Ivy, 359 +Poison Sumach, 359 +Policy of Silence in Sex Matters, 416 +Pollution, Sinks of, 12 +Pollution, Sow, 15 +Politeness, 70 +Polygamy, 133-162 +Popping the Question, 195 +Poisonous Literature, 421 +Pox-Syphilis, 464 +Pox-Symptoms and Treatment, 467 +Prevention of Conception, 233, 239, 240-241 +Prevention, Nature's Method, 243 +Prenatal Influences, 244 +Prostate Gland, 235 +Producing Boys or Girls at Will, 252 +Preparation for Maternity, 266 +Pregnancy Signs and Symptoms, 270 +Pregnancy, Diseases of, 274 +Pregnancy, Duration of, 296 +Prescription for Diseases, 355 +Prickly Heat, Cure for, 373 +Principle Moral, 10 +Prisons, 19 +Practical Rules on Table Manners, 63 +Prostitution, 137,381 +Proposing, A Romantic Way, 198 +Proper Intercourse, 205 +Pregnancy, Restraint During, 207 +Preparation for Parenthood, 225 +Prostitution of Men, 427 +Private Talk to Young Men, 437 +Puberty, Virility and Hygienic Laws, 406 +Purity, 62 +Puberty, 144 +Puritanic Manhood, 425 +Pure Minded Wife, 435 + +Q + +Quacks and Methods Exposed, 250, 453, 457 +Quickening, 271 +Quinsy, 365 + +R + +Reputation, Value of, 9 +Reputation, Selling out Their, 19 +Religion in Women, 131 +Restraint During Pregnancy, 207 +Revelation for Women, 247 +Remedies for Sterility, 249 +Remedies for Diseases, 355 +Recruiting Office for Prostitution, 380 +Remedy for "Secret Habit", 394 +Rebuking Sensualism, 410 +Remedies for the Social Evil, 440 +Remedies for Diseases of Women, 483-485 +Rival the Boys, 27 +Ring Worm, 362 +Rights of Lovers, 168 +Right of Children to be Born Right, 464 +Roman Ladies, 29 +Road to Shame, The, 430 +Rules on Etiquette, 49-64 +Rules on Table Manners, 63 +Ruin and Seduction, 152 +Rules for the Nurse, 366 +Ruined Sister, A, 431 + +S + +Save the Girls, 380 +Save the Boys, 390 +Scientific Theories of Life, 238 +Scarlet Fever, 328, 343, 363 +Schedule for Feeding Babies, 329 +Sexual Passions, 407 +Sexual Exhaustion, 411 +Secret Diseases, 413 +Seeing Life, 419 +Sexual Impotency, The Remedy, 461 +Secret Diseases, 464 +Seed of Life, 225 +Sexual Organs, Male, 234 +Sexual Organs, Female, 235 +Seducer, The, 190 +Self Abuse or "Secret Habit", 389 +Sex Instruction for Children, 380, 390, 400 +Sexual Propensities, 400 +Self-Control, 12 +Self-Denial, Practice, 15 +Selfishness, 24 +Self-Forgetfulness, 72 +Sensible Helps to Beauty, 95-114 +Sexual Excitement, 126 +Sexual Vigor, 127 +Seduction and Ruin, 152 +Seducer, A, 168 +Sensuality and Unnatural Passion, 202-208 +Sexual Life, Rightly Beginning, 205 +Sexual Proprieties and Improprieties, 206 +Separate Beds, 206 +Sexual Control, 208-241 +Shall Sickly People Raise Children, 233 +Shall Pregnant Women Work, 285 +Shy People, 72 +Signs and Symptoms of Labor, 297 +Signs of Virility, 408 +Signs of Excesses, 410 +Sisterhood of Shame, The, 418, 425 +Slaves of Injurious Drugs, 441 +Sleeplessness, 281 +Small Families, 232 +Small and Weakly Men, 126 +Sore Nipples, 321 +Society Evils, 384 +Society, Govern, 24 +Social Letters, 39 +Social Duties, 65 +Society, Membership in, 66 +Soiled Garments, 85 +Soft Men, 27 +Solomon and Polygamy, 133 +Society Rules and Customs, 191 +Sowing Wild Oats, 417 +Social Evil, 410 +Speech, Improved by Reading, 57 +Special Safeguards in Confinement, 299 +Sprains, 359 +Startling Sins, 423 +Sterility in Females, 237 +Sterility, 248 +Sterility, Remedies for, 249 +Sterility common to women, 251 +Stomachache, 326 +Stabs, 358 +Story of Life for Children, 401 +Stranger, Silken Enticements of, 28 +Style of Beauty, 91 +Summer Complaint, 340 +Success or Failure, 276 +Swollen Legs During Pregnancy, 276 +Symptoms of the "Secret Habit", 451 +Syphilitic Poison, 465 +Syphilis (Pox), 464, 467 +Syphilis (Pox) Treatment of, 468 +Syphilis, Recipe for, 468 +Syringes, Whirling Spray, 246 + +T + +Table Manners, 63 +Tables for Feeding a Baby, 329 +Teeth, 85 +Test of Virginity, 202, 237 +Teething, 336, 310 +Teach Sex Truths to Children, 401, 416 +Temples of Lust, 425 +Thinking only of Dress, 81 +Throat Troubles, 354 +Tight Lacing, 104 +Time to Marry, 351 +Too Many Children, 229 +Toothache, 280 +True Kind of Beauty, 129 +Twins, 205 +Twilight Sleep, 479 + +U + +Unwelcome Child, 258 +Union of the Sexes, The, 400 +Unchastity, 409 +Unfaithfulness, 423 +Unjust Demands, 428 +Underclothing, 85 +Uniformed Men, 128 +Unhappy Marriages, 151 +Urethra, 231 +Urethra, Stricture of--Symptoms and Treatment, 469 + +V + +Vaginal Cleanliness, 246 +Vice or Virtue, 6 +Virtues, Root of all the, 12 +Virtue, A New, 19 +Virginity, Test of, 202, 237 +Vile Women, 382 +Vomiting, 363 +Vulgar Desire, 428 +Vulgar, Society of the, 11 + +W + +Warning, 6 +Waist, Natural, 105 +Wasp Waists, 181 +Warts, Cure for, 364 +Wealth, 73 +Wedlock, Advantages of, 135 +Wedding Rings, 167 +Wedding, The Proper Time, 199 +Weaning, 318 +Wens, 364 +What Women Love in Men, 126 +What Men Love in Women, 129 +When and Whom to Marry, 311 +Why Children Die, 226 +When Conception Takes Place, 269 +Whites, The, 277 +What a Mother Should Know, 326 +Whooping Cough, 344, 360 +Why Girls Go Astray, 381 +What is Puberty, 406 +When Passion Begins, 407 +Wife, How to be a Good, 210 +Words, Power of, 15 +Woman, The Best Educator, 25 +Women, Young, 26 +Women, Influence of, 30 +Woman Haters, 61 +Woman the Perfect Type of Beauty, 92 +Woman's Love, 116 +Women who Makes Best Wives, 178 +Worms and Remedy, 341 +Womb, inflammation of, 349 +Womb Falling of, 350 + +Y + +Young Mothers, Advice to, 286 +Young Man's Personal Appearance, 86 +Youth, Bloom and Grace of, 97 +Youthful Sexual Excitement, 126 + + +[Transcriber's Note: Most probable typos in the original paper book have +been retained as printed, e.g. saguine, excercise, diagnotic, attacts. +However, two occurrences of "Prostrate" have been changed to "Prostate" +when referring to the prostate gland.] + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Searchlights on Health +by B. 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