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diff --git a/old/1343.txt b/old/1343.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f914455 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/1343.txt @@ -0,0 +1,8922 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Bureaucracy, by Honore de Balzac + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Bureaucracy + +Author: Honore de Balzac + +Translator: Katharine Prescott Wormeley + +Release Date: June, 1998 [Etext #1343] +Posting Date: February 22, 2010 + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BUREAUCRACY *** + + + + +Produced by John Bickers, Bonnie Sala, and Dagny + + + + + +BUREAUCRACY + + +By Honore De Balzac + + + +Translated By Katharine Prescott Wormeley + + + + DEDICATION + + To the Comtesse Seraphina San Severino, with the respectful + homage of sincere and deep admiration + De Balzac + + + + + +BUREAUCRACY + + + + +CHAPTER I. THE RABOURDIN HOUSEHOLD + + +In Paris, where men of thought and study bear a certain likeness to one +another, living as they do in a common centre, you must have met with +several resembling Monsieur Rabourdin, whose acquaintance we are about +to make at a moment when he is head of a bureau in one of our most +important ministries. At this period he was forty years old, with gray +hair of so pleasing a shade that women might at a pinch fall in love +with it for it softened a somewhat melancholy countenance, blue eyes +full of fire, a skin that was still fair, though rather ruddy and +touched here and there with strong red marks; a forehead and nose a la +Louis XV., a serious mouth, a tall figure, thin, or perhaps wasted, like +that of a man just recovering from illness, and finally, a bearing that +was midway between the indolence of a mere idler and the thoughtfulness +of a busy man. If this portrait serves to depict his character, a sketch +of this man's dress will bring it still further into relief. Rabourdin +wore habitually a blue surcoat, a white cravat, a waistcoat crossed a la +Robespierre, black trousers without straps, gray silk stockings and low +shoes. Well-shaved, and with his stomach warmed by a cup of coffee, he +left home at eight in the morning with the regularity of clock-work, +always passing along the same streets on his way to the ministry: so +neat was he, so formal, so starched that he might have been taken for an +Englishman on the road to his embassy. + +From these general signs you will readily discern a family man, +harassed by vexations in his own household, worried by annoyances at the +ministry, yet philosopher enough to take life as he found it; an honest +man, loving his country and serving it, not concealing from himself the +obstacles in the way of those who seek to do right; prudent, because he +knew men; exquisitely courteous with women, of whom he asked nothing,--a +man full of acquirements, affable with his inferiors, holding his equals +at great distance, and dignified towards his superiors. At the epoch of +which we write, you would have noticed in him the coldly resigned air of +one who has buried the illusions of his youth and renounced every secret +ambition; you would have recognized a discouraged, but not disgusted +man, one who still clings to his first projects,--more perhaps to +employ his faculties than in the hope of a doubtful success. He was not +decorated with any order, and always accused himself of weakness +for having worn that of the Fleur-de-lis in the early days of the +Restoration. + +The life of this man was marked by certain mysterious peculiarities. +He had never known his father; his mother, a woman to whom luxury was +everything, always elegantly dressed, always on pleasure bent, whose +beauty seemed to him miraculous and whom he very seldom saw, left +him little at her death; but she had given him that too common and +incomplete education which produces so much ambition and so little +ability. A few days before his mother's death, when he was just sixteen, +he left the Lycee Napoleon to enter as supernumerary a government +office, where an unknown protector had provided him with a place. +At twenty-two years of age Rabourdin became under-head-clerk; at +twenty-five, head-clerk, or, as it was termed, head of the bureau. From +that day the hand that assisted the young man to start in life was never +felt again in his career, except as to a single circumstance; it led +him, poor and friendless, to the house of a Monsieur Leprince, formerly +an auctioneer, a widower said to be extremely rich, and father of +an only daughter. Xavier Rabourdin fell desperately in love with +Mademoiselle Celestine Leprince, then seventeen years of age, who had +all the matrimonial claims of a dowry of two hundred thousand francs. +Carefully educated by an artistic mother, who transmitted her own +talents to her daughter, this young lady was fitted to attract +distinguished men. Tall, handsome, and finely-formed, she was a good +musician, drew and painted, spoke several languages, and even knew +something of science,--a dangerous advantage, which requires a woman +to avoid carefully all appearance of pedantry. Blinded by mistaken +tenderness, the mother gave the daughter false ideas as to her probable +future; to the maternal eyes a duke or an ambassador, a marshal of +France or a minister of State, could alone give her Celestine her due +place in society. The young lady had, moreover, the manners, language, +and habits of the great world. Her dress was richer and more elegant +than was suitable for an unmarried girl; a husband could give her +nothing more than she now had, except happiness. Besides all such +indulgences, the foolish spoiling of the mother, who died a year after +the girl's marriage, made a husband's task all the more difficult. +What coolness and composure of mind were needed to rule such a woman! +Commonplace suitors held back in fear. Xavier Rabourdin, without parents +and without fortune other than his situation under government, was +proposed to Celestine by her father. She resisted for a long time; +not that she had any personal objection to her suitor, who was young, +handsome, and much in love, but she shrank from the plain name of Madame +Rabourdin. Monsieur Leprince assured his daughter that Xavier was of +the stock that statesmen came of. Celestine answered that a man named +Rabourdin would never be anything under the government of the Bourbons, +etc. Forced back to his intrenchments, the father made the serious +mistake of telling his daughter that her future husband was certain of +becoming Rabourdin "de something or other" before he reached the age +of admission to the Chamber. Xavier was soon to be appointed Master of +petitions, and general-secretary at his ministry. From these lower steps +of the ladder the young man would certainly rise to the higher ranks of +the administration, possessed of a fortune and a name bequeathed to him +in a certain will of which he, Monsieur Leprince, was cognizant. On this +the marriage took place. + +Rabourdin and his wife believed in the mysterious protector to whom +the auctioneer alluded. Led away by such hopes and by the natural +extravagance of happy love, Monsieur and Madame Rabourdin spent nearly +one hundred thousand francs of their capital in the first five years +of married life. By the end of this time Celestine, alarmed at the +non-advancement of her husband, insisted on investing the remaining +hundred thousand francs of her dowry in landed property, which returned +only a slender income; but her future inheritance from her father would +amply repay all present privations with perfect comfort and ease of +life. When the worthy auctioneer saw his son-in-law disappointed of the +hopes they had placed on the nameless protector, he tried, for the +sake of his daughter, to repair the secret loss by risking part of his +fortune in a speculation which had favourable chances of success. But +the poor man became involved in one of the liquidations of the house of +Nucingen, and died of grief, leaving nothing behind him but a dozen fine +pictures which adorned his daughter's salon, and a few old-fashioned +pieces of furniture, which she put in the garret. + +Eight years of fruitless expectation made Madame Rabourdin at last +understand that the paternal protector of her husband must have died, +and that his will, if it ever existed, was lost or destroyed. Two years +before her father's death the place of chief of division, which became +vacant, was given, over her husband's head, to a certain Monsieur de la +Billardiere, related to a deputy of the Right who was made minister in +1823. It was enough to drive Rabourdin out of the service; but how could +he give up his salary of eight thousand francs and perquisites, when +they constituted three fourths of his income and his household was +accustomed to spend them? Besides, if he had patience for a few more +years he would then be entitled to a pension. What a fall was this for +a woman whose high expectations at the opening of her life were more or +less warranted, and one who was admitted on all sides to be a superior +woman. + +Madame Rabourdin had justified the expectations formed of Mademoiselle +Leprince; she possessed the elements of that apparent superiority which +pleases the world; her liberal education enabled her to speak to every +one in his or her own language; her talents were real; she showed an +independent and elevated mind; her conversation charmed as much by its +variety and ease as by the oddness and originality of her ideas. Such +qualities, useful and appropriate in a sovereign or an ambassadress, +were of little service to a household compelled to jog in the common +round. Those who have the gift of speaking well desire an audience; +they like to talk, even if they sometimes weary others. To satisfy the +requirements of her mind Madame Rabourdin took a weekly reception-day +and went a great deal into society to obtain the consideration her +self-love was accustomed to enjoy. Those who know Parisian life will +readily understand how a woman of her temperament suffered, and was +martyrized at heart by the scantiness of her pecuniary means. No matter +what foolish declarations people make about money, they one and all, if +they live in Paris, must grovel before accounts, do homage to figures, +and kiss the forked hoof of the golden calf. What a problem was hers! +twelve thousand francs a year to defray the costs of a household +consisting of father, mother, two children, a chambermaid and cook, +living on the second floor of a house in the rue Duphot, in an apartment +costing two thousand francs a year. Deduct the dress and the carriage of +Madame before you estimate the gross expenses of the family, for dress +precedes everything; then see what remains for the education of the +children (a girl of eight and a boy of nine, whose maintenance must +cost at least two thousand francs besides) and you will find that Madame +Rabourdin could barely afford to give her husband thirty francs a month. +That is the position of half the husbands in Paris, under penalty of +being thought monsters. + +Thus it was that this woman who believed herself destined to shine in +the world was condemned to use her mind and her faculties in a sordid +struggle, fighting hand to hand with an account-book. Already, terrible +sacrifice of pride! she had dismissed her man-servant, not long after +the death of her father. Most women grow weary of this daily struggle; +they complain but they usually end by giving up to fate and taking what +comes to them; Celestine's ambition, far from lessening, only increased +through difficulties, and led her, when she found she could not conquer +them, to sweep them aside. To her mind this complicated tangle of the +affairs of life was a Gordian knot impossible to untie and which +genius ought to cut. Far from accepting the pettiness of middle-class +existence, she was angry at the delay which kept the great things of +life from her grasp,--blaming fate as deceptive. Celestine sincerely +believed herself a superior woman. Perhaps she was right; perhaps she +would have been great under great circumstances; perhaps she was not in +her right place. Let us remember there are as many varieties of woman as +there are of man, all of which society fashions to meet its needs. Now +in the social order, as in Nature's order, there are more young shoots +than there are trees, more spawn than full-grown fish, and many great +capacities (Athanase Granson, for instance) which die withered for want +of moisture, like seeds on stony ground. There are, unquestionably, +household women, accomplished women, ornamental women, women who are +exclusively wives, or mothers, or sweethearts, women purely spiritual +or purely material; just as there are soldiers, artists, artisans, +mathematicians, poets, merchants, men who understand money, or +agriculture, or government, and nothing else. Besides all this, the +eccentricity of events leads to endless cross-purposes; many are called +and few are chosen is the law of earth as of heaven. Madame Rabourdin +conceived herself fully capable of directing a statesman, inspiring an +artist, helping an inventor and pushing his interests, or of devoting +her powers to the financial politics of a Nucingen, and playing a +brilliant part in the great world. Perhaps she was only endeavouring to +excuse to her own mind a hatred for the laundry lists and the duty of +overlooking the housekeeping bills, together with the petty economies +and cares of a small establishment. She was superior only in those +things where it gave her pleasure to be so. Feeling as keenly as she +did the thorns of a position which can only be likened to that of +Saint-Laurence on his grid-iron, is it any wonder that she sometimes +cried out? So, in her paroxysms of thwarted ambition, in the moments +when her wounded vanity gave her terrible shooting pains, Celestine +turned upon Xavier Rabourdin. Was it not her husband's duty to give her +a suitable position in the world? If she were a man she would have had +the energy to make a rapid fortune for the sake of rendering an adored +wife happy! She reproached him for being too honest a man. In the mouth +of some women this accusation is a charge of imbecility. She sketched +out for him certain brilliant plans in which she took no account of the +hindrances imposed by men and things; then, like all women under the +influence of vehement feeling, she became in thought as Machiavellian +as Gondreville, and more unprincipled than Maxime de Trailles. At such +times Celestine's mind took a wide range, and she imagined herself at +the summit of her ideas. + +When these fine visions first began Rabourdin, who saw the practical +side, was cool. Celestine, much grieved, thought her husband +narrow-minded, timid, unsympathetic; and she acquired, insensibly, a +wholly false opinion of the companion of her life. In the first place, +she often extinguished him by the brilliancy of her arguments. Her ideas +came to her in flashes, and she sometimes stopped him short when he +began an explanation, because she did not choose to lose the slightest +sparkle of her own mind. From the earliest days of their marriage +Celestine, feeling herself beloved and admired by her husband, treated +him without ceremony; she put herself above conjugal laws and the +rules of private courtesy by expecting love to pardon all her little +wrong-doings; and, as she never in any way corrected herself, she was +always in the ascendant. In such a situation the man holds to the wife +very much the position of a child to a teacher when the latter cannot or +will not recognize that the mind he has ruled in childhood is becoming +mature. Like Madame de Stael, who exclaimed in a room full of people, +addressing, as we may say, a greater man than herself, "Do you know you +have really said something very profound!" Madame Rabourdin said of +her husband: "He certainly has a good deal of sense at times." Her +disparaging opinion of him gradually appeared in her behavior through +almost imperceptible motions. Her attitude and manners expressed a want +of respect. Without being aware of it she injured her husband in the +eyes of others; for in all countries society, before making up its mind +about a man, listens for what his wife thinks of him, and obtains from +her what the Genevese term "pre-advice." + +When Rabourdin became aware of the mistakes which love had led him to +commit it was too late,--the groove had been cut; he suffered and +was silent. Like other men in whom sentiments and ideas are of equal +strength, whose souls are noble and their brains well balanced, he was +the defender of his wife before the tribunal of his own judgment; he +told himself that nature doomed her to a disappointed life through his +fault; HIS; she was like a thoroughbred English horse, a racer harnessed +to a cart full of stones; she it was who suffered; and he blamed +himself. His wife, by dint of constant repetition, had inoculated him +with her own belief in herself. Ideas are contagious in a household; the +ninth thermidor, like so many other portentous events, was the result +of female influence. Thus, goaded by Celestine's ambition, Rabourdin had +long considered the means of satisfying it, though he hid his hopes, so +as to spare her the tortures of uncertainty. The man was firmly resolved +to make his way in the administration by bringing a strong light to bear +upon it. He intended to bring about one of those revolutions which send +a man to the head of either one party or another in society; but being +incapable of so doing in his own interests, he merely pondered useful +thoughts and dreamed of triumphs won for his country by noble means. His +ideas were both generous and ambitious; few officials have not +conceived the like; but among officials as among artists there are more +miscarriages than births; which is tantamount to Buffon's saying that +"Genius is patience." + +Placed in a position where he could study French administration and +observe its mechanism, Rabourdin worked in the circle where his thought +revolved, which, we may remark parenthetically, is the secret of much +human accomplishment; and his labor culminated finally in the invention +of a new system for the Civil Service of government. Knowing the people +with whom he had to do, he maintained the machine as it then worked, so +it still works and will continue to work; for everybody fears to remodel +it, though no one, according to Rabourdin, ought to be unwilling to +simplify it. In his opinion, the problem to be resolved lay in a better +use of the same forces. His plan, in its simplest form, was to revise +taxation and lower it in a way that should not diminish the revenues of +the State, and to obtain, from a budget equal to the budgets which now +excite such rabid discussion, results that should be two-fold greater +than the present results. Long practical experience had taught Rabourdin +that perfection is brought about in all things by changes in the +direction of simplicity. To economize is to simplify. To simplify +means to suppress unnecessary machinery; removals naturally follow. +His system, therefore, depended on the weeding out of officials and the +establishment of a new order of administrative offices. No doubt the +hatred which all reformers incur takes its rise here. Removals required +by this perfecting process, always ill-understood, threaten the +well-being of those on whom a change in their condition is thus forced. +What rendered Rabourdin really great was that he was able to restrain +the enthusiasm that possesses all reformers, and to patiently seek out a +slow evolving medium for all changes so as to avoid shocks, leaving time +and experience to prove the excellence of each reform. The grandeur of +the result anticipated might make us doubt its possibility if we lose +sight of this essential point in our rapid analysis of his system. It +is, therefore, not unimportant to show through his self-communings, +however incomplete they might be, the point of view from which he looked +at the administrative horizon. This tale, which is evolved from the very +heart of the Civil Service, may also serve to show some of the evils of +our present social customs. + +Xavier Rabourdin, deeply impressed by the trials and poverty which he +witnessed in the lives of the government clerks, endeavored to ascertain +the cause of their growing deterioration. He found it in those petty +partial revolutions, the eddies, as it were, of the storm of 1789, +which the historians of great social movements neglect to inquire into, +although as a matter of fact it is they which have made our manners and +customs what they are now. + +Formerly, under the monarchy, the bureaucratic armies did not exist. +The clerks, few in number, were under the orders of a prime minister who +communicated with the sovereign; thus they directly served the king. The +superiors of these zealous servants were simply called head-clerks. In +those branches of administration which the king did not himself direct, +such for instance as the "fermes" (the public domains throughout +the country on which a revenue was levied), the clerks were to their +superior what the clerks of a business-house are to their employer; they +learned a science which would one day advance them to prosperity. Thus, +all points of the circumference were fastened to the centre and derived +their life from it. The result was devotion and confidence. Since 1789 +the State, call it the Nation if you like, has replaced the sovereign. +Instead of looking directly to the chief magistrate of this nation, +the clerks have become, in spite of our fine patriotic ideas, the +subsidiaries of the government; their superiors are blown about by the +winds of a power called "the administration," and do not know from +day to day where they may be on the morrow. As the routine of public +business must go on, a certain number of indispensable clerks are kept +in their places, though they hold these places on sufferance, anxious as +they are to retain them. Bureaucracy, a gigantic power set in motion by +dwarfs, was generated in this way. Though Napoleon, by subordinating +all things and all men to his will, retarded for a time the influence of +bureaucracy (that ponderous curtain hung between the service to be +done and the man who orders it), it was permanently organized under +the constitutional government, which was, inevitably, the friend of +all mediocrities, the lover of authentic documents and accounts, and as +meddlesome as an old tradeswoman. Delighted to see the various ministers +constantly struggling against the four hundred petty minds of the +Elected of the Chamber, with their ten or a dozen ambitious and +dishonest leaders, the Civil Service officials hastened to make +themselves essential to the warfare by adding their quota of assistance +under the form of written action; they created a power of inertia and +named it "Report." Let us explain the Report. + +When the kings of France took to themselves ministers, which first +happened under Louis XV., they made them render reports on all important +questions, instead of holding, as formerly, grand councils of state with +the nobles. Under the constitutional government, the ministers of the +various departments were insensibly led by their bureaus to imitate this +practice of kings. Their time being taken up in defending themselves +before the two Chambers and the court, they let themselves be guided by +the leading-strings of the Report. Nothing important was ever brought +before the government that a minister did not say, even when the case +was urgent, "I have called for a report." The Report thus became, both +as to the matter concerned and for the minister himself, the same as +a report to the Chamber of Deputies on a question of laws,--namely, a +disquisition in which the reasons for and against are stated with more +or less partiality. No real result is attained; the minister, like +the Chamber, is fully as well prepared before as after the report is +rendered. A determination, in whatever matter, is reached in an instant. +Do what we will, the moment comes when the decision must be made. The +greater the array of reasons for and against, the less sound will be +the judgment. The finest things of which France can boast have been +accomplished without reports and where decisions were prompt and +spontaneous. The dominant law of a statesman is to apply precise formula +to all cases, after the manner of judges and physicians. + +Rabourdin, who said to himself: "A minister should have decision, should +know public affairs, and direct their course," saw "Report" rampant +throughout France, from the colonel to the marshal, from the commissary +of police to the king, from the prefects to the ministers of state, +from the Chamber to the courts. After 1818 everything was discussed, +compared, and weighed, either in speech or writing; public business +took a literary form. France went to ruin in spite of this array of +documents; dissertations stood in place of action; a million of reports +were written every year; bureaucracy was enthroned! Records, statistics, +documents, failing which France would have been ruined, circumlocution, +without which there could be no advance, increased, multiplied, and grew +majestic. From that day forth bureaucracy used to its own profit the +mistrust that stands between receipts and expenditures; it degraded the +administration for the benefit of the administrators; in short, it +spun those lilliputian threads which have chained France to Parisian +centralization,--as if from 1500 to 1800 France had undertaken nothing +for want of thirty thousand government clerks! In fastening upon public +offices, like a mistletoe on a pear-tree, these officials indemnified +themselves amply, and in the following manner. + +The ministers, compelled to obey the princes or the Chambers who impose +upon them the distribution of the public moneys, and forced to retain +the workers in office, proceeded to diminish salaries and increase the +number of those workers, thinking that if more persons were employed by +government the stronger the government would be. And yet the contrary +law is an axiom written on the universe; there is no vigor except where +there are few active principles. Events proved in July, 1830, the error +of the materialism of the Restoration. To plant a government in the +hearts of a nation it is necessary to bind INTERESTS to it, not MEN. The +government-clerks being led to detest the administrations which lessened +both their salaries and their importance, treated them as a courtesan +treats an aged lover, and gave them mere work for money; a state of +things which would have seemed as intolerable to the administration as +to the clerks, had the two parties dared to feel each other's pulse, +or had the higher salaries not succeeded in stifling the voices of the +lower. Thus wholly and solely occupied in retaining his place, drawing +his pay, and securing his pension, the government official thought +everything permissible that conduced to these results. This state +of things led to servility on the part of the clerks and to endless +intrigues within the various departments, where the humbler clerks +struggled vainly against degenerate members of the aristocracy, who +sought positions in the government bureaus for their ruined sons. + +Superior men could scarcely bring themselves to tread these tortuous +ways, to stoop, to cringe, and creep through the mire of these cloacas, +where the presence of a fine mind only alarmed the other denizens. The +ambitious man of genius grows old in obtaining his triple crown; he does +not follow in the steps of Sixtus the Fifth merely to become head of +a bureau. No one comes or stays in the government offices but idlers, +incapables, or fools. Thus the mediocrity of French administration has +slowly come about. Bureaucracy, made up entirely of petty minds, stands +as an obstacle to the prosperity of the nation; delays for seven years, +by its machinery, the project of a canal which would have stimulated +the production of a province; is afraid of everything, prolongs +procrastination, and perpetuates the abuses which in turn perpetuate and +consolidate itself. Bureaucracy holds all things and the administration +itself in leading strings; it stifles men of talent who are bold enough +to be independent of it or to enlighten it on its own follies. About the +time of which we write the pension list had just been issued, and on it +Rabourdin saw the name of an underling in office rated for a larger sum +than the old colonels, maimed and wounded for their country. In that +fact lies the whole history of bureaucracy. + +Another evil, brought about by modern customs, which Rabourdin counted +among the causes of this secret demoralization, was the fact that +there is no real subordination in the administration in Paris; complete +equality reigns between the head of an important division and the +humblest copying-clerk; one is as powerful as the other in an arena +outside of which each lords it in his own way. Education, equally +distributed through the masses, brings the son of a porter into a +government office to decide the fate of some man of merit or some landed +proprietor whose door-bell his father may have answered. The last comer +is therefore on equal terms with the oldest veteran in the service. A +wealthy supernumerary splashes his superior as he drives his tilbury +to Longchamps and points with his whip to the poor father of a family, +remarking to the pretty woman at his side, "That's my chief." The +Liberals call this state of things Progress; Rabourdin thought it +Anarchy at the heart of power. He saw how it resulted in restless +intrigues, like those of a harem between eunuchs and women and imbecile +sultans, or the petty troubles of nuns full of underhand vexations, +or college tyrannies, or diplomatic manoeuvrings fit to terrify an +ambassador, all put in motion to obtain a fee or an increase in salary; +it was like the hopping of fleas harnessed to pasteboard cars, the +spitefulness of slaves, often visited on the minister himself. With all +this were the really useful men, the workers, victims of such parasites; +men sincerely devoted to their country, who stood vigorously out from +the background of the other incapables, yet who were often forced to +succumb through unworthy trickery. + +All the higher offices were gained through parliamentary influence, +royalty had nothing to do now with them, and the subordinate clerks +became, after a time, merely the running-gear of the machine; the +most important considerations with them being to keep the wheels well +greased. This fatal conviction entering some of the best minds smothered +many statements conscientiously written on the secret evils of the +national government; lowered the courage of many hearts, and corrupted +sterling honesty, weary of injustice and won to indifference by +deteriorating annoyances. A clerk in the employ of the Rothchilds +corresponds with all England; another, in a government office, may +communicate with all the prefects; but where the one learns the way to +make his fortune, the other loses time and health and life to no +avail. An undermining evil lies here. Certainly a nation does not seem +threatened with immediate dissolution because an able clerk is sent away +and a middling sort of man replaces him. Unfortunately for the welfare +of nations individual men never seem essential to their existence. But +in the long run when the belittling process is fully carried out nations +will disappear. Every one who seeks instruction on this point can look +at Venice, Madrid, Amsterdam, Stockholm, Rome; all places which were +formerly resplendent with mighty powers and are now destroyed by the +infiltrating littleness which gradually attained the highest eminence. +When the day of struggle came, all was found rotten, the State succumbed +to a weak attack. To worship the fool who succeeds, and not to grieve +over the fall of an able man is the result of our melancholy education, +of our manners and customs which drive men of intellect into disgust, +and genius to despair. + +What a difficult undertaking is the rehabilitation of the Civil Service +while the liberal cries aloud in his newspapers that the salaries of +clerks are a standing theft, calls the items of the budget a cluster of +leeches, and every year demands why the nation should be saddled with +a thousand millions of taxes. In Monsieur Rabourdin's eyes the clerk in +relation to the budget was very much what the gambler is to the +game; that which he wins he puts back again. All remuneration implies +something furnished. To pay a man a thousand francs a year and demand +his whole time was surely to organize theft and poverty. A galley-slave +costs nearly as much, and does less. But to expect a man whom the State +remunerated with twelve thousand francs a year to devote himself to +his country was a profitable contract for both sides, fit to allure all +capacities. + +These reflections had led Rabourdin to desire the recasting of the +clerical official staff. To employ fewer man, to double or treble +salaries, and do away with pensions, to choose only young clerks (as did +Napoleon, Louis XIV., Richelieu, and Ximenes), but to keep them long and +train them for the higher offices and greatest honors, these were the +chief features of a reform which if carried out would be as beneficial +to the State as to the clerks themselves. It is difficult to recount in +detail, chapter by chapter, a plan which embraced the whole budget and +continued down through the minutest details of administration in order +to keep the whole synthetical; but perhaps a slight sketch of the +principal reforms will suffice for those who understand such matters, as +well as for those who are wholly ignorant of the administrative system. +Though the historian's position is rather hazardous in reproducing +a plan which may be thought the politics of a chimney-corner, it is, +nevertheless, necessary to sketch it so as to explain the author of +it by his own work. Were the recital of his efforts to be omitted, the +reader would not believe the narrator's word if he merely declared the +talent and the courage of this official. + +Rabourdin's plan divided the government into three ministries, or +departments. He thought that if the France of former days possessed +brains strong enough to comprehend in one system both foreign and +domestic affairs, the France of to-day was not likely to be without its +Mazarin, its Suger, its Sully, its de Choiseul, or its Colbert to +direct even vast administrative departments. Besides, constitutionally +speaking, three ministries will agree better than seven; and, in the +restricted number there is less chance for mistaken choice; moreover, +it might be that the kingdom would some day escape from those perpetual +ministerial oscillations which interfered with all plans of foreign +policy and prevented all ameliorations of home rule. In Austria, where +many diverse united nations present so many conflicting interests to +be conciliated and carried forward under one crown, two statesmen alone +bear the burden of public affairs and are not overwhelmed by it. Was +France less prolific of political capacities than Germany? The rather +silly game of what are called "constitutional institutions" carried +beyond bounds has ended, as everybody knows, in requiring a great many +offices to satisfy the multifarious ambition of the middle classes. It +seemed to Rabourdin, in the first place, natural to unite the ministry +of war with the ministry of the navy. To his thinking the navy was +one of the current expenses of the war department, like the artillery, +cavalry, infantry, and commissariat. Surely it was an absurdity to +give separate administrations to admirals and marshals when both were +employed to one end, namely, the defense of the nation, the overthrow of +an enemy, and the security of the national possessions. The ministry +of the interior ought in like manner to combine the departments of +commerce, police, and finances, or it belied its own name. To the +ministry of foreign affairs belonged the administration of justice, the +household of the king, and all that concerned arts, sciences, and belles +lettres. All patronage ought to flow directly from the sovereign. Such +ministries necessitated the supremacy of a council. Each required +the work of two hundred officials, and no more, in its central +administration offices, where Rabourdin proposed that they should live, +as in former days under the monarchy. Taking the sum of twelve thousand +francs a year for each official as an average, he estimated seven +millions as the cost of the whole body of such officials, which actually +stood at twenty in the budget. + +By thus reducing the ministers to three heads he suppressed departments +which had come to be useless, together with the enormous costs of their +maintenance in Paris. He proved that an arrondissement could be managed +by ten men; a prefecture by a dozen at the most; which reduced the +entire civil service force throughout France to five thousand men, +exclusive of the departments of war and justice. Under this plan the +clerks of the court were charged with the system of loans, and the +ministry of the interior with that of registration and the management +of domains. Thus Rabourdin united in one centre all divisions that were +allied in nature. The mortgage system, inheritance, and registration did +not pass outside of their own sphere of action and only required three +additional clerks in the justice courts and three in the royal courts. +The steady application of this principle brought Rabourdin to reforms +in the finance system. He merged the collection of revenue into +one channel, taxing consumption in bulk instead of taxing property. +According to his ideas, consumption was the sole thing properly taxable +in times of peace. Land-taxes should always be held in reserve in case +of war; for then only could the State justly demand sacrifices from +the soil, which was in danger; but in times of peace it was a serious +political fault to burden it beyond a certain limit; otherwise it could +never be depended on in great emergencies. Thus a loan should be put on +the market when the country was tranquil, for at such times it could be +placed at par, instead of at fifty per cent loss as in bad times; in war +times resort should be had to a land-tax. + +"The invasion of 1814 and 1815," Rabourdin would say to his friends, +"founded in France and practically explained an institution which +neither Law nor Napoleon had been able to establish,--I mean Credit." + +Unfortunately, Xavier considered the true principles of this admirable +machine of civil service very little understood at the period when +he began his labor of reform in 1820. His scheme levied a toll on +the consumption by means of direct taxation and suppressed the whole +machinery of indirect taxation. The levying of the taxes was simplified +by a single classification of a great number of articles. This did away +with the more harassing customs at the gates of the cities, and obtained +the largest revenues from the remainder, by lessening the enormous +expense of collecting them. To lighten the burden of taxation is not, in +matters of finance, to diminish the taxes, but to assess them better; if +lightened, you increase the volume of business by giving it freer play; +the individual pays less and the State receives more. This reform, which +may seem immense, rests on very simple machinery. Rabourdin regarded +the tax on personal property as the most trustworthy representative of +general consumption. Individual fortunes are usually revealed in France +by rentals, by the number of servants, horses, carriages, and luxuries, +the costs of which are all to the interest of the public treasury. +Houses and what they contain vary comparatively but little, and are not +liable to disappear. After pointing out the means of making a tax-list +on personal property which should be more impartial than the existing +list, Rabourdin assessed the sums to be brought into the treasury by +indirect taxation as so much per cent on each individual share. A tax +is a levy of money on things or persons under disguises that are more or +less specious. These disguises, excellent when the object is to extort +money, become ridiculous in the present day, when the class on which the +taxes weigh the heaviest knows why the State imposes them and by what +machinery they are given back. In fact the budget is not a strong-box to +hold what is put into it, but a watering-pot; the more it takes in and +the more it pours out the better for the prosperity of the country. +Therefore, supposing there are six millions of tax-payers in easy +circumstances (Rabourdin proved their existence, including the rich) is +it not better to make them pay a duty on the consumption of wine, which +would not be more offensive than that on doors and windows and would +return a hundred millions, rather than harass them by taxing the thing +itself. By this system of taxation, each individual tax-payer pays less +in reality, while the State receives more, and consumers profit by a +vast reduction in the price of things which the State releases from its +perpetual and harassing interference. Rabourdin's scheme retained a tax +on the cultivation of vineyards, so as to protect that industry from the +too great abundance of its own products. Then, to reach the consumption +of the poorer tax-payers, the licences of retail dealers were taxed +according to the population of the neighborhoods in which they lived. + +In this way, the State would receive without cost or vexatious +hindrances an enormous revenue under three forms; namely, a duty on +wine, on the cultivation of vineyards, and on licenses, where now +an irritating array of taxes existed as a burden on itself and its +officials. Taxation was thus imposed upon the rich without overburdening +the poor. To give another example. Suppose a share assessed to each +person of one or two francs for the consumption of salt and you obtain +ten or a dozen millions; the modern "gabelle" disappears, the poor +breathe freer, agriculture is relieved, the State receives as much, +and no tax-payer complains. All persons, whether they belong to the +industrial classes or to the capitalists, will see at once the benefits +of a tax so assessed when they discover how commerce increases, and life +is ameliorated in the country districts. In short, the State will see +from year to year the number of her well-to-do tax-payers increasing. By +doing away with the machinery of indirect taxation, which is very costly +(a State, as it were, within a State), both the public finances and the +individual tax-payer are greatly benefited, not to speak of the saving +in costs of collecting. + +The whole subject is indeed less a question of finance than a question +of government. The State should possess nothing of its own, neither +forests, nor mines, nor public works. That it should be the owner of +domains was, in Rabourdin's opinion, an administrative contradiction. +The State cannot turn its possessions to profit and it deprives itself +of taxes; it thus loses two forms of production. As to the manufactories +of the government, they are just as unreasonable in the sphere of +industry. The State obtains products at a higher cost than those +of commerce, produces them more slowly, and loses its tax upon the +industry, the maintenance of which it, in turn, reduces. Can it be +thought a proper method of governing a country to manufacture instead +of promoting manufactures? to possess property instead of creating +more possessions and more diverse ones? In Rabourdin's system the State +exacted no money security; he allowed only mortgage securities; and for +this reason: Either the State holds the security in specie, and that +embarrasses business and the movement of money; or it invests it at +a higher rate than the State itself pays, and that is a contemptible +robbery; or else it loses on the transaction, and that is folly; +moreover, if it is obliged at any time to dispose of a mass of these +securities it gives rises in certain cases to terrible bankruptcy. + +The territorial tax did not entirely disappear in Rabourdin's plan,--he +kept a minute portion of it as a point of departure in case of war; +but the productions of the soil were freed, and industry, finding raw +material at a low price, could compete with foreign nations without the +deceptive help of customs. The rich carried on the administration of the +provinces without compensation except that of receiving a peerage under +certain conditions. Magistrates, learned bodies, officers of the lower +grades found their services honorably rewarded; no man employed by the +government failed to obtain great consideration through the value and +extent of his labors and the excellence of his salary; every one was +able to provide for his own future and France was delivered from the +cancer of pensions. As a result Rabourdin's scheme exhibited only +seven hundred millions of expenditures and twelve hundred millions of +receipts. A saving of five hundred millions annually had far more virtue +than the accumulation of a sinking fund whose dangers were plainly to +be seen. In that fund the State, according to Rabourdin, became +a stockholder, just as it persisted in being a land-holder and a +manufacturer. To bring about these reforms without too roughly jarring +the existing state of things or incurring a Saint-Bartholomew of +clerks, Rabourdin considered that an evolution of twenty years would be +required. + +Such were the thoughts maturing in Rabourdin's mind ever since his +promised place had been given to Monsieur de la Billardiere, a man of +sheer incapacity. This plan, so vast apparently yet so simple in point +of fact, which did away with so many large staffs and so many little +offices all equally useless, required for its presentation to the public +mind close calculations, precise statistics, and self-evident proof. +Rabourdin had long studied the budget under its double-aspect of ways +and means and of expenditure. Many a night he had lain awake unknown to +his wife. But so far he had only dared to conceive the plan and fit it +prospectively to the administrative skeleton; all of which counted for +nothing,--he must gain the ear of a minister capable of appreciating +his ideas. Rabourdin's success depended on the tranquil condition of +political affairs, which up to this time were still unsettled. He had +not considered the government as permanently secure until three +hundred deputies at least had the courage to form a compact majority +systematically ministerial. An administration founded on that basis had +come into power since Rabourdin had finished his elaborate plan. At this +time the luxury of peace under the Bourbons had eclipsed the warlike +luxury of the days when France shone like a vast encampment, prodigal +and magnificent because it was victorious. After the Spanish campaign, +the administration seemed to enter upon an era of tranquillity in which +some good might be accomplished; and three months before the opening of +our story a new reign had begun without any apparent opposition; for the +liberalism of the Left had welcomed Charles X. with as much enthusiasm +as the Right. Even clear-sighted and suspicious persons were misled. The +moment seemed propitious for Rabourdin. What could better conduce to the +stability of the government than to propose and carry through a reform +whose beneficial results were to be so vast? + +Never had Rabourdin seemed so anxious and preoccupied as he now did +in the mornings as he walked from his house to the ministry, or at +half-past four in the afternoon, when he returned. Madame Rabourdin, on +her part, disconsolate over her wasted life, weary of secretly +working to obtain a few luxuries of dress, never appeared so bitterly +discontented as now; but, like any wife who is really attached to her +husband, she considered it unworthy of a superior woman to condescend +to the shameful devices by which the wives of some officials eke out the +insufficiency of their husband's salary. This feeling made her refuse +all intercourse with Madame Colleville, then very intimate with Francois +Keller, whose parties eclipsed those of the rue Duphot. Nevertheless, +she mistook the quietude of the political thinker and the preoccupation +of the intrepid worker for the apathetic torpor of an official broken +down by the dulness of routine, vanquished by that most hateful of all +miseries, the mediocrity that simply earns a living; and she groaned at +being married to a man without energy. + +Thus it was that about this period in their lives she resolved to take +the making of her husband's fortune on herself; to thrust him at any +cost into a higher sphere, and to hide from him the secret springs of +her machinations. She carried into all her plans the independence of +ideas which characterized her, and was proud to think that she could +rise above other women by sharing none of their petty prejudices and by +keeping herself untrammelled by the restraints which society imposes. +In her anger she resolved to fight fools with their own weapons, and to +make herself a fool if need be. She saw things coming to a crisis. The +time was favorable. Monsieur de la Billardiere, attacked by a dangerous +illness, was likely to die in a few days. If Rabourdin succeeded him, +his talents (for Celestine did vouchsafe him an administrative gift) +would be so thoroughly appreciated that the office of Master of +petitions, formerly promised, would now be given to him; she fancied she +saw him the king's commissioner, presenting bills to the Chambers and +defending them; then indeed she could help him; she would even be, if +needful, his secretary; she would sit up all night to do the work! All +this to drive in the Bois in a pretty carriage, to equal Madame Delphine +de Nucingen, to raise her salon to the level of Madame Colleville's, to +be invited to the great ministerial solemnities, to win listeners and +make them talk of her as "Madame Rabourdin DE something or other" +(she had not yet determined on the estate), just as they did of Madame +Firmiani, Madame d'Espard, Madame d'Aiglemont, Madame de Carigliano, and +thus efface forever the odious name of Rabourdin. + +These secret schemes brought some changes into the household. Madame +Rabourdin began to walk with a firm step in the path of /debt/. She set +up a man-servant, and put him in livery of brown cloth with red pipins, +she renewed parts of her furniture, hung new papers on the walls, +adorned her salon with plants and flowers, always fresh, and crowded +it with knick-knacks that were then in vogue; then she, who had always +shown scruples as to her personal expenses, did not hesitate to put +her dress in keeping with the rank to which she aspired, the profits of +which were discounted in several of the shops where she equipped herself +for war. To make her "Wednesdays" fashionable she gave a dinner on +Fridays, the guests being expected to pay their return visit and take +a cup of tea on the following Wednesday. She chose her guests cleverly +among influential deputies or other persons of note who, sooner or +later, might advance her interests. In short, she gathered an agreeable +and befitting circle about her. People amused themselves at her house; +they said so at least, which is quite enough to attract society in +Paris. Rabourdin was so absorbed in completing his great and serious +work that he took no notice of the sudden reappearance of luxury in the +bosom of his family. + +Thus the wife and the husband were besieging the same fortress, working +on parallel lines, but without each other's knowledge. + + + + + +CHAPTER II. MONSIEUR DES LUPEAULX + + +At the ministry to which Rabourdin belonged there flourished, as +general-secretary, a certain Monsieur Clement Chardin des Lupeaulx, one +of those men whom the tide of political events sends to the surface for +a few years, then engulfs on a stormy night, but whom we find again on a +distant shore, tossed up like the carcass of a wrecked ship which still +seems to have life in her. We ask ourselves if that derelict could ever +have held goodly merchandise or served a high emprise, co-operated +in some defence, held up the trappings of a throne, or borne away the +corpse of a monarchy. At this particular time Clement des Lupeaulx (the +"Lupeaulx" absorbed the "Chardin") had reached his culminating period. +In the most illustrious lives as in the most obscure, in animals as in +secretary-generals, there is a zenith and there is a nadir, a period +when the fur is magnificent, the fortune dazzling. In the nomenclature +which we derive from fabulists, des Lupeaulx belonged to the species +Bertrand, and was always in search of Ratons. As he is one of the +principal actors in this drama he deserves a description, all the +more precise because the revolution of July has suppressed his office, +eminently useful as it was, to a constitutional ministry. + +Moralists usually employ their weapons against obstructive +administrations. In their eyes, crime belongs to the assizes or the +police-courts; but the socially refined evils escape their ken; the +adroitness that triumphs under shield of the Code is above them or +beneath them; they have neither eye-glass nor telescope; they want good +stout horrors easily visible. With their eyes fixed on the carnivora, +they pay no attention to the reptiles; happily, they abandon to the +writers of comedy the shading and colorings of a Chardin des Lupeaulx. +Vain and egotistical, supple and proud, libertine and gourmand, grasping +from the pressure of debt, discreet as a tomb out of which nought +issues to contradict the epitaph intended for the passer's eye, bold and +fearless when soliciting, good-natured and witty in all acceptations +of the word, a timely jester, full of tact, knowing how to compromise +others by a glance or a nudge, shrinking from no mudhole, but gracefully +leaping it, intrepid Voltairean, yet punctual at mass if a fashionable +company could be met in Saint Thomas Aquinas,--such a man as this +secretary-general resembled, in one way or another, all the mediocrities +who form the kernel of the political world. Knowing in the science of +human nature, he assumed the character of a listener, and none was ever +more attentive. Not to awaken suspicion he was flattering ad nauseum, +insinuating as a perfume, and cajoling as a woman. + +Des Lupeaulx was just forty years old. His youth had long been a +vexation to him, for he felt that the making of his career depended on +his becoming a deputy. How had he reached his present position? may +be asked. By very simple means. He began by taking charge of certain +delicate missions which can be given neither to a man who respects +himself nor to a man who does not respect himself, but are confided to +grave and enigmatic individuals who can be acknowledged or disavowed +at will. His business was that of being always compromised; but his +fortunes were pushed as much by defeat as by success. He well understood +that under the Restoration, a period of continual compromises between +men, between things, between accomplished facts and other facts looking +on the horizon, it was all-important for the ruling powers to have a +household drudge. Observe in a family some old charwoman who can make +beds, sweep the floors, carry away the dirty linen, who knows where +the silver is kept, how the creditors should be pacified, what persons +should be let in and who must be kept out of the house, and such a +creature, even if she has all the vices, and is dirty, decrepit, and +toothless, or puts into the lottery and steals thirty sous a day for +her stake, and you will find the masters like her from habit, talk and +consult in her hearing upon even critical matters; she comes and goes, +suggests resources, gets on the scent of secrets, brings the rouge +or the shawl at the right moment, lets herself be scolded and pushed +downstairs, and the next morning reappears smiling with an excellent +bouillon. No matter how high a statesman may stand, he is certain +to have some household drudge, before whom he is weak, undecided, +disputations with fate, self-questioning, self-answering, and buckling +for the fight. Such a familiar is like the soft wood of savages, +which, when rubbed against the hard wood, strikes fire. Sometimes great +geniuses illumine themselves in this way. Napoleon lived with Berthier, +Richelieu with Pere Joseph; des Lupeaulx was the familiar of everybody. +He continued friends with fallen ministers and made himself their +intermediary with their successors, diffusing thus the perfume of +the last flattery and the first compliment. He well understood how +to arrange all the little matters which a statesman has no leisure to +attend to. He saw necessities as they arose; he obeyed well; he could +gloss a base act with a jest and get the whole value of it; and he chose +for the services he thus rendered those that the recipients were not +likely to forget. + +Thus, when it was necessary to cross the ditch between the Empire and +the Restoration, at a time when every one was looking about for planks, +and the curs of the Empire were howling their devotion right and left, +des Lupeaulx borrowed large sums from the usurers and crossed the +frontier. Risking all to win all, he bought up Louis XVIII.'s most +pressing debts, and was the first to settle nearly three million of them +at twenty per cent--for he was lucky enough to be backed by Gobseck in +1814 and 1815. It is true that Messrs. Gobseck, Werdet, and Gigonnet +swallowed the profits, but des Lupeaulx had agreed that they should +have them; he was not playing for a stake; he challenged the bank, as it +were, knowing very well that the king was not a man to forget this debt +of honor. Des Lupeaulx was not mistaken; he was appointed Master of +petitions, Knight of the order of Saint Louis, and officer of the Legion +of honor. Once on the ladder of political success, his clever mind +looked about for the means to maintain his foothold; for in the +fortified city into which he had wormed himself, generals do not long +keep useless mouths. So to his general trade of household drudge and +go-between he added that of gratuitous consultation on the secret +maladies of power. + +After discovering in the so-called superior men of the Restoration their +utter inferiority in comparison with the events which had brought them +to the front, he overcame their political mediocrity by putting into +their mouths, at a crisis, the word of command for which men of real +talent were listening. It must not be thought that this word was the +outcome of his own mind. Were it so, des Lupeaulx would have been a +man of genius, whereas he was only a man of talent. He went everywhere, +collected opinions, sounded consciences, and caught all the tones they +gave out. He gathered knowledge like a true and indefatigable political +bee. This walking Bayle dictionary did not act, however, like that +famous lexicon; he did not report all opinions without drawing his own +conclusions; he had the talent of a fly which drops plumb upon the +best bit of meat in the middle of a kitchen. In this way he came to +be regarded as an indispensable helper to statesmen. A belief in his +capacity had taken such deep root in all minds that the more ambitious +public men felt it was necessary to compromise des Lupeaulx in some way +to prevent his rising higher; they made up to him for his subordinate +public position by their secret confidence. + +Nevertheless, feeling that such men were dependent on him, this gleaner +of ideas exacted certain dues. He received a salary on the staff of the +National Guard, where he held a sinecure which was paid for by the city +of Paris; he was government commissioner to a secret society; and filled +a position of superintendence in the royal household. His two official +posts which appeared on the budget were those of secretary-general to +his ministry and Master of petitions. What he now wanted was to be made +commander of the Legion of honor, gentleman of the bed-chamber, count, +and deputy. To be elected deputy it was necessary to pay taxes to the +amount of a thousand francs; and the miserable homestead of the des +Lupeaulx was rated at only five hundred. Where could he get money to +build a mansion and surround it with sufficient domain to throw dust +in the eyes of a constituency? Though he dined out every day, and was +lodged for the last nine years at the cost of the State, and driven +about in the minister's equipage, des Lupeaulx possessed absolutely +nothing, at the time when our tale opens, but thirty thousand francs +of debt--undisputed property. A marriage might float him and pump the +waters of debt out of his bark; but a good marriage depended on his +advancement, and his advancement required that he should be a deputy. +Searching about him for the means of breaking through this vicious +circle, he could think of nothing better than some immense service to +render or some delicate intrigue to carry through for persons in power. +Alas! conspiracies were out of date; the Bourbons were apparently on +good terms with all parties; and, unfortunately, for the last few years +the government had been so thoroughly held up to the light of day by the +silly discussions of the Left, whose aim seemed to be to make government +of any kind impossible in France, that no good strokes of business could +be made. The last were tried in Spain, and what an outcry that excited! + +In addition to all this, des Lupeaulx complicated matters by believing +in the friendship of his minister, to whom he had the imprudence to +express the wish to sit on the ministerial benches. The minister guessed +at the real meaning of the desire, which simply was that des Lupeaulx +wanted to strengthen a precarious position, so that he might throw off +all dependence on his chief. The harrier turned against the huntsman; +the minister gave him cuts with the whip and caresses, alternately, and +set up rivals to him. But des Lupeaulx behaved like an adroit courtier +with all competitors; he laid traps into which they fell, and then he +did prompt justice upon them. The more he felt himself in danger the +more anxious he became for an irremovable position; yet he was compelled +to play low; one moment's indiscretion, and he might lose everything. A +pen-stroke might demolish his civilian epaulets, his place at court, +his sinecure, his two offices and their advantages; in all, six +salaries retained under fire of the law against pluralists. Sometimes he +threatened his minister as a mistress threatens her lover; telling him +he was about to marry a rich widow. At such times the minister petted +and cajoled des Lupeaulx. After one of these reconciliations he received +the formal promise of a place in the Academy of Belles-lettres on the +first vacancy. "It would pay," he said, "the keep of a horse." His +position, so far as it went, was a good one, and Clement Chardin des +Lupeaulx flourished in it like a tree planted in good soil. He could +satisfy his vices, his caprices, his virtues and his defects. + +The following were the toils of his life. He was obliged to choose, +among five or six daily invitations, the house where he could be sure +of the best dinner. Every morning he went to his minister's morning +reception to amuse that official and his wife, and to pet their +children. Then he worked an hour or two; that is to say, he lay back in +a comfortable chair and read the newspapers, dictated the meaning of a +letter, received visitors when the minister was not present, explained +the work in a general way, caught or shed a few drops of the holy-water +of the court, looked over the petitions with an eyeglass, or wrote his +name on the margin,--a signature which meant "I think it absurd; do +what you like about it." Every body knew that when des Lupeaulx was +interested in any person or in any thing he attended to the matter +personally. He allowed the head-clerks to converse privately about +affairs of delicacy, but he listened to their gossip. From time to time +he went to the Tuileries to get his cue. And he always waited for the +minister's return from the Chamber, if in session, to hear from him +what intrigue or manoeuvre he was to set about. This official sybarite +dressed, dined, and visited a dozen or fifteen salons between eight at +night and three in the morning. At the opera he talked with journalists, +for he stood high in their favor; a perpetual exchange of little +services went on between them; he poured into their ears his misleading +news and swallowed theirs; he prevented them from attacking this or that +minister on such or such a matter, on the plea that it would cause real +pain to their wives or their mistresses. + +"Say that his bill is worth nothing, and prove it if you can, but do +not say that Mariette danced badly. The devil! haven't we all played +our little plays; and which of us knows what will become of him in times +like these? You may be minister yourself to-morrow, you who are spicing +the cakes of the 'Constitutionel' to-day." + +Sometimes, in return, he helped editors, or got rid of obstacles to the +performances of some play; gave gratuities and good dinners at the +right moment, or promised his services to bring some affair to a happy +conclusion. Moreover, he really liked literature and the arts; he +collected autographs, obtained splendid albums gratis, and possessed +sketches, engravings, and pictures. He did a great deal of good to +artists by simply not injuring them and by furthering their wishes +on certain occasions when their self-love wanted some rather costly +gratification. Consequently, he was much liked in the world of actors +and actresses, journalists and artists. For one thing, they had the +same vices and the same indolence as himself. Men who could all say such +witty things in their cups or in company with a danseuse, how could they +help being friends? If des Lupeaulx had not been a general-secretary +he would certainly have been a journalist. Thus, in that fifteen years' +struggle in which the harlequin sabre of epigram opened a breach by +which insurrection entered the citadel, des Lupeaulx never received so +much as a scratch. + +As the young fry of clerks looked at this man playing bowls in the +gardens of the ministry with the minister's children, they cracked +their brains to guess the secret of his influence and the nature of his +services; while, on the other hand, the aristocrats in all the various +ministries looked upon him as a dangerous Mephistopheles, courted him, +and gave him back with usury the flatteries he bestowed in the higher +sphere. As difficult to decipher as a hieroglyphic inscription to the +clerks, the vocation of the secretary and his usefulness were as plain +as the rule of three to the self-interested. This lesser Prince de +Wagram of the administration, to whom the duty of gathering opinions +and ideas and making verbal reports thereon was entrusted, knew all the +secrets of parliamentary politics; dragged in the lukewarm, fetched, +carried, and buried propositions, said the Yes and the No that the +ministers dared not say for themselves. Compelled to receive the first +fire and the first blows of despair and wrath, he laughed or bemoaned +himself with the minister, as the case might be. Mysterious link by +which many interests were in some way connected with the Tuileries, and +safe as a confessor, he sometimes knew everything and sometimes nothing; +and, in addition to all these functions came that of saying for the +minister those things that a minister cannot say for himself. In short, +with his political Hephaestion the minister might dare to be himself; to +take off his wig and his false teeth, lay aside his scruples, put on +his slippers, unbutton his conscience, and give way to his trickery. +However, it was not all a bed of roses for des Lupeaulx; he flattered +and advised his master, forced to flatter in order to advise, to advise +while flattering, and disguise the advice under the flattery. All +politicians who follow this trade have bilious faces; and their constant +habit of giving affirmative nods acquiescing in what is said to them, +or seeming to do so, gives a certain peculiar turn to their heads. They +agree indifferently with whatever is said before them. Their talk is +full of "buts," "notwithstandings," "for myself I should," "were I in +your place" (they often say "in your place"),--phrases, however, which +pave the way to opposition. + +In person, Clement des Lupeaulx had the remains of a handsome man; five +feet six inches tall, tolerably stout, complexion flushed with good +living, powdered head, delicate spectacles, and a worn-out air; the +natural skin blond, as shown by the hand, puffy like that of an old +woman, rather too square, and with short nails--the hand of a satrap. +His foot was elegant. After five o'clock in the afternoon des Lupeaulx +was always to be seen in open-worked silk stockings, low shoes, black +trousers, cashmere waistcoat, cambric handkerchief (without perfume), +gold chain, blue coat of the shade called "king's blue," with brass +buttons and a string of orders. In the morning he wore creaking boots +and gray trousers, and the short close surtout coat of the politician. +His general appearance early in the day was that of a sharp lawyer +rather than that of a ministerial officer. Eyes glazed by the constant +use of spectacles made him plainer than he really was, if by chance he +took those appendages off. To real judges of character, as well as to +upright men who are at ease only with honest natures, des Lupeaulx was +intolerable. To them, his gracious manners only draped his lies; his +amiable protestations and hackneyed courtesies, new to the foolish and +ignorant, too plainly showed their texture to an observing mind. Such +minds considered him a rotten plank, on which no foot should trust +itself. + +No sooner had the beautiful Madame Rabourdin decided to interfere in +her husband's administrative advancement than she fathomed Clement des +Lupeaulx's true character, and studied him thoughtfully to discover +whether in this thin strip of deal there were ligneous fibres strong +enough to let her lightly trip across it from the bureau to the +department, from a salary of eight thousand a year to twelve thousand. +The clever woman believed she could play her own game with this +political roue; and Monsieur des Lupeaulx was partly the cause of the +unusual expenditures which now began and were continued in the Rabourdin +household. + +The rue Duphot, built up under the Empire, is remarkable for several +houses with handsome exteriors, the apartments of which are skilfully +laid out. That of the Rabourdins was particularly well arranged,--a +domestic advantage which has much to do with the nobleness of private +lives. A pretty and rather wide antechamber, lighted from the courtyard, +led to the grand salon, the windows of which looked on the street. To +the right of the salon were Rabourdin's study and bedroom, and behind +them the dining-room, which was entered from the antechamber; to +the left was Madame's bedroom and dressing-room, and behind them her +daughter's little bedroom. On reception days the door of Rabourdin's +study and that of his wife's bedroom were thrown open. The rooms were +thus spacious enough to contain a select company, without the +absurdity which attends many middle-class entertainments, where +unusual preparations are made at the expense of the daily comfort, and +consequently give the effect of exceptional effort. The salon had +lately been rehung in gold-colored silk with carmelite touches. Madame's +bedroom was draped in a fabric of true blue and furnished in a rococo +manner. Rabourdin's study had inherited the late hangings of the salon, +carefully cleaned, and was adorned by the fine pictures once belonging +to Monsieur Leprince. The daughter of the late auctioneer had utilized +in her dining-room certain exquisite Turkish rugs which her father had +bought at a bargain; panelling them on the walls in ebony, the cost of +which has since become exorbitant. Elegant buffets made by Boulle, also +purchased by the auctioneer, furnished the sides of the room, at the end +of which sparkled the brass arabesques inlaid in tortoise-shell of the +first tall clock that reappeared in the nineteenth century to claim +honor for the masterpieces of the seventeenth. Flowers perfumed these +rooms so full of good taste and of exquisite things, where each detail +was a work of art well placed and well surrounded, and where Madame +Rabourdin, dressed with that natural simplicity which artists alone +attain, gave the impression of a woman accustomed to such elegancies, +though she never spoke of them, but allowed the charms of her mind +to complete the effect produced upon her guests by these delightful +surroundings. Thanks to her father, Celestine was able to make society +talk of her as soon as the rococo became fashionable. + +Accustomed as des Lupeaulx was to false as well as real magnificence in +all their stages, he was, nevertheless, surprised at Madame Rabourdin's +home. The charm it exercised over this Parisian Asmodeus can be +explained by a comparison. A traveller wearied with the rich aspects of +Italy, Brazil, or India, returns to his own land and finds on his way a +delightful little lake, like the Lac d'Orta at the foot of Monte Rosa, +with an island resting on the calm waters, bewitchingly simple; a scene +of nature and yet adorned; solitary, but well surrounded with choice +plantations and foliage and statues of fine effect. Beyond lies a vista +of shores both wild and cultivated; tumultuous grandeur towers above, +but in itself all proportions are human. The world that the traveller +has lately viewed is here in miniature, modest and pure; his soul, +refreshed, bids him remain where a charm of melody and poesy surrounds +him with harmony and awakens ideas within his mind. Such a scene +represents both life and a monastery. + +A few days earlier the beautiful Madame Firmiani, one of the charming +women of the faubourg Saint-Germain who visited and liked Madame +Rabourdin, had said to des Lupeaulx (invited expressly to hear this +remark), "Why do you not call on Madame ----?" with a motion towards +Celestine; "she gives delightful parties, and her dinners, above all, +are--better than mine." + +Des Lupeaulx allowed himself to be drawn into an engagement by the +handsome Madame Rabourdin, who, for the first time, turned her eyes on +him as she spoke. He had, accordingly, gone to the rue Duphot, and +that tells the tale. Woman has but one trick, cries Figaro, but that's +infallible. After dining once at the house of this unimportant official, +des Lupeaulx made up his mind to dine there often. Thanks to the +perfectly proper and becoming advances of the beautiful woman, whom her +rival, Madame Colleville, called the Celimene of the rue Duphot, he had +dined there every Friday for the last month, and returned of his own +accord for a cup of tea on Wednesdays. + +Within a few days Madame Rabourdin, having watched him narrowly and +knowingly, believed she had found on the secretarial plank a spot where +she might safely set her foot. She was no longer doubtful of success. +Her inward joy can be realized only in the families of government +officials where for three or four years prosperity has been counted +on through some appointment, long expected and long sought. How many +troubles are to be allayed! how many entreaties and pledges given to the +ministerial divinities! how many visits of self-interest paid! At last, +thanks to her boldness, Madame Rabourdin heard the hour strike when she +was to have twenty thousand francs a year instead of eight thousand. + +"And I shall have managed well," she said to herself. "I have had +to make a little outlay; but these are times when hidden merit is +overlooked, whereas if a man keeps himself well in sight before the +world, cultivates social relations and extends them, he succeeds. After +all, ministers and their friends interest themselves only in the people +they see; but Rabourdin knows nothing of the world! If I had not cajoled +those three deputies they might have wanted La Billardiere's place +themselves; whereas, now that I have invited them here, they will be +ashamed to do so and will become our supporters instead of rivals. I +have rather played the coquette, but--it is delightful that the first +nonsense with which one fools a man sufficed." + +The day on which a serious and unlooked-for struggle about this +appointment began, after a ministerial dinner which preceded one of +those receptions which ministers regard as public, des Lupeaulx was +standing beside the fireplace near the minister's wife. While taking his +coffee he once more included Madame Rabourdin among the seven or eight +really superior women in Paris. Several times already he had staked +Madame Rabourdin very much as Corporal Trim staked his cap. + +"Don't say that too often, my dear friend, or you will injure her," said +the minister's wife, half-laughing. + +Women never like to hear the praise of other women; they keep silence +themselves to lessen its effect. + +"Poor La Billardiere is dying," remarked his Excellency the minister; +"that place falls to Rabourdin, one of our most able men, and to whom +our predecessors did not behave well, though one of them actually owed +his position in the prefecture of police under the Empire to a certain +great personage who was interested in Rabourdin. But, my dear friend, +you are still young enough to be loved by a pretty woman for yourself--" + +"If La Billardiere's place is given to Rabourdin I may be believed when +I praise the superiority of his wife," replied des Lupeaulx, piqued by +the minister's sarcasm; "but if Madame la Comtesse would be willing to +judge for herself--" + +"You want me to invite her to my next ball, don't you? Your clever woman +will meet a knot of other women who only come here to laugh at us, and +when they hear 'Madame Rabourdin' announced--" + +"But Madame Firmiani is announced at the Foreign Office parties?" + +"Ah, but she was born a Cadignan!" said the newly created count, with a +savage look at his general-secretary, for neither he nor his wife were +noble. + +The persons present thought important matters were being talked +over, and the solicitors for favors and appointments kept at a little +distance. When des Lupeaulx left the room the countess said to her +husband, "I think des Lupeaulx is in love." + +"For the first time in his life, then," he replied, shrugging his +shoulders, as much as to inform his wife that des Lupeaulx did not +concern himself with such nonsense. + +Just then the minister saw a deputy of the Right Centre enter the room, +and he left his wife abruptly to cajole an undecided vote. But the +deputy, under the blow of a sudden and unexpected disaster, wanted to +make sure of a protector and he had come to announce privately that in a +few days he should be compelled to resign. Thus forewarned, the minister +would be able to open his batteries for the new election before those of +the opposition. + +The minister, or to speak correctly, des Lupeaulx had invited to dinner +on this occasion one of those irremovable officials who, as we have +said, are to be found in every ministry; an individual much embarrassed +by his own person, who, in his desire to maintain a dignified +appearance, was standing erect and rigid on his two legs, held well +together like the Greek hermae. This functionary waited near the +fireplace to thank the secretary, whose abrupt and unexpected departure +from the room disconcerted him at the moment when he was about to turn +a compliment. This official was the cashier of the ministry, the only +clerk who did not tremble when the government changed hands. + +At the time of which we write, the Chamber did not meddle shabbily with +the budget, as it does in the deplorable days in which we now live; it +did not contemptibly reduce ministerial emoluments, nor save, as they +say in the kitchen, the candle-ends; on the contrary, it granted to each +minister taking charge of a public department an indemnity, called an +"outfit." It costs, alas, as much to enter on the duties of a minister +as to retire from them; indeed, the entrance involves expenses of all +kinds which it is quite impossible to inventory. This indemnity amounted +to the pretty little sum of twenty-five thousand francs. When the +appointment of a new minister was gazetted in the "Moniteur," and the +greater or lesser officials, clustering round the stoves or before the +fireplaces and shaking in their shoes, asked themselves: "What will he +do? will he increase the number of clerks? will he dismiss two to make +room for three?" the cashier tranquilly took out twenty-five clean +bank-bills and pinned them together with a satisfied expression on +his beadle face. The next day he mounted the private staircase and +had himself ushered into the minister's presence by the lackeys, who +considered the money and the keeper of money, the contents and the +container, the idea and the form, as one and the same power. The cashier +caught the ministerial pair at the dawn of official delight, when the +newly appointed statesman is benign and affable. To the minister's +inquiry as to what brings him there, he replies with the +bank-notes,--informing his Excellency that he hastens to pay him the +customary indemnity. Moreover, he explains the matter to the minister's +wife, who never fails to draw freely upon the fund, and sometimes takes +all, for the "outfit" is looked upon as a household affair. The cashier +then proceeds to turn a compliment, and to slip in a few politic +phrases: "If his Excellency would deign to retain him; if, satisfied +with his purely mechanical services, he would," etc. As a man who brings +twenty-five thousand francs is always a worthy official, the cashier is +sure not to leave without his confirmation to the post from which he has +seen a succession of ministers come and go during a period of, perhaps, +twenty-five years. His next step is to place himself at the orders of +Madame; he brings the monthly thirteen thousand francs whenever wanted; +he advances or delays the payment as requested, and thus manages to +obtain, as they said in the monasteries, a voice in the chapter. + +Formerly book-keeper at the Treasury, when that establishment kept its +books by double entry, the Sieur Saillard was compensated for the loss +of that position by his appointment as cashier of a ministry. He was a +bulky, fat man, very strong in the matter of book-keeping, and very weak +in everything else; round as a round O, simple as how-do-you-do,--a man +who came to his office with measured steps, like those of an elephant, +and returned with the same measured tread to the place Royale, where he +lived on the ground-floor of an old mansion belonging to him. He usually +had a companion on the way in the person of Monsieur Isidore Baudoyer, +head of a bureau in Monsieur de la Billardiere's division, consequently +one of Rabourdin's colleagues. Baudoyer was married to Elisabeth +Saillard, the cashier's only daughter, and had hired, very naturally, +the apartments above those of his father-in-law. No one at the ministry +had the slightest doubt that Saillard was a blockhead, but neither +had any one ever found out how far his stupidity could go; it was too +compact to be examined; it did not ring hollow; it absorbed everything +and gave nothing out. Bixiou (a clerk of whom more anon) caricatured the +cashier by drawing a head in a wig at the top of an egg, and two little +legs at the other end, with this inscription: "Born to pay out and take +in without blundering. A little less luck, and he might have been lackey +to the bank of France; a little more ambition, and he could have been +honorably discharged." + +At the moment of which we are now writing, the minister was looking +at his cashier very much as we gaze at a window or a cornice, without +supposing that either can hear us, or fathom our secret thoughts. + +"I am all the more anxious that we should settle everything with the +prefect in the quietest way, because des Lupeaulx has designs upon the +place for himself," said the minister, continuing his talk with the +deputy; "his paltry little estate is in your arrondissement; we won't +want him as deputy." + +"He has neither years nor rentals enough to be eligible," said the +deputy. + +"That may be; but you know how it was decided for Casimir Perier as +to age; and as to worldly possessions, des Lupeaulx does possess +something,--not much, it is true, but the law does not take into account +increase, which he may very well obtain; commissions have wide margins +for the deputies of the Centre, you know, and we cannot openly oppose +the good-will that is shown to this dear friend." + +"But where would he get the money?" + +"How did Manuel manage to become the owner of a house in Paris?" cried +the minister. + +The cashier listened and heard, but reluctantly and against his will. +These rapid remarks, murmured as they were, struck his ear by one of +those acoustic rebounds which are very little studied. As he heard these +political confidences, however, a keen alarm took possession of his +soul. He was one of those simple-minded beings, who are shocked at +listening to anything they are not intended to hear, or entering where +they are not invited, and seeming bold when they are really timid, +inquisitive where they are truly discreet. The cashier accordingly began +to glide along the carpet and edge himself away, so that the minister +saw him at a distance when he first took notice of him. Saillard was a +ministerial henchman absolutely incapable of indiscretion; even if the +minister had known that he had overheard a secret he had only to whisper +"motus" in his ear to be sure it was perfectly safe. The cashier, +however, took advantage of an influx of office-seekers, to slip out +and get into his hackney-coach (hired by the hour for these costly +entertainments), and to return to his home in the place Royale. + + + + + +CHAPTER III. THE TEREDOS NAVALIS, OTHERWISE CALLED SHIP-WORM + +While old Saillard was driving across Paris his son-in-law, Isidore +Baudoyer, and his daughter, Elisabeth, Baudoyer's wife, were playing +a virtuous game of boston with their confessor, the Abbe Gaudron, +in company with a few neighbors and a certain Martin Falleix, a +brass-founder in the fauborg Saint-Antoine, to whom Saillard had loaned +the necessary money to establish a business. This Falleix, a +respectable Auvergnat who had come to seek his fortune in Paris with his +smelting-pot on his back, had found immediate employment with the firm +of Brezac, collectors of metals and other relics from all chateaux +in the provinces. About twenty-seven years of age, and spoiled, like +others, by success, Martin Falleix had had the luck to become the active +agent of Monsieur Saillard, the sleeping-partner in the working out of +a discovery made by Falleix in smelting (patent of invention and gold +medal granted at the exposition of 1825). Madame Baudoyer, whose only +daughter was treading--to use an expression of old Saillard's--on the +tail of her twelve years, laid claim to Falleix, a thickset, swarthy, +active young fellow, of shrewd principles, whose education she was +superintending. The said education, according to her ideas, consisted in +teaching him to play boston, to hold his cards properly, and not to let +others see his game; to shave himself regularly before he came to the +house, and to wash his hands with good cleansing soap; not to swear, to +speak her kind of French, to wear boots instead of shoes, cotton shirts +instead of sacking, and to brush up his hair instead of plastering +it flat. During the preceding week Elisabeth had finally succeeded in +persuading Falleix to give up wearing a pair of enormous flat earrings +resembling hoops. + +"You go too far, Madame Baudoyer," he said, seeing her satisfaction at +the final sacrifice; "you order me about too much. You make me clean my +teeth, which loosens them; presently you will want me to brush my nails +and curl my hair, which won't do at all in our business; we don't like +dandies." + +Elisabeth Baudoyer, nee Saillard, is one of those persons who escape +portraiture through their utter commonness; yet who ought to be +sketched, because they are specimens of that second-rate Parisian +bourgeoisie which occupies a place above the well-to-do artisan and +below the upper middle classes,--a tribe whose virtues are well-nigh +vices, whose defects are never kindly, but whose habits and manners, +dull and insipid though they be, are not without a certain originality. +Something pinched and puny about Elisabeth Saillard was painful to the +eye. Her figure, scarcely over four feet in height, was so thin that +the waist measured less than twenty inches. Her small features, which +clustered close about the nose, gave her face a vague resemblance to a +weasel's snout. Though she was past thirty years old she looked scarcely +more than sixteen. Her eyes, of porcelain blue, overweighted by heavy +eyelids which fell nearly straight from the arch of the eyebrows, had +little light in them. Everything about her appearance was commonplace: +witness her flaxen hair, tending to whiteness; her flat forehead, from +which the light did not reflect; and her dull complexion, with gray, +almost leaden, tones. The lower part of the face, more triangular than +oval, ended irregularly the otherwise irregular outline of her face. +Her voice had a rather pretty range of intonation, from sharp to sweet. +Elisabeth was a perfect specimen of the second-rate little bourgeoisie +who lectures her husband behind the curtains; obtains no credit for her +virtues; is ambitious without intelligent object, and solely through the +development of her domestic selfishness. Had she lived in the country +she would have bought up adjacent land; being, as she was, connected +with the administration, she was determined to push her way. If we +relate the life of her father and mother, we shall show the sort of +woman she was by a picture of her childhood and youth. + +Monsieur Saillard married the daughter of an upholsterer keeping shop +under the arcades of the Market. Limited means compelled Monsieur and +Madame Saillard at their start in life to bear constant privation. After +thirty-three years of married life, and twenty-nine years of toil in +a government office, the property of "the Saillards"--their circle +of acquaintance called them so--consisted of sixty thousand francs +entrusted to Falleix, the house in the place Royale, bought for forty +thousand in 1804, and thirty-six thousand francs given in dowry to their +daughter Elisabeth. Out of this capital about fifty thousand came +to them by the will of the widow Bidault, Madame Saillard's mother. +Saillard's salary from the government had always been four thousand five +hundred francs a year, and no more; his situation was a blind alley +that led nowhere, and had tempted no one to supersede him. Those ninety +thousand francs, put together sou by sou, were the fruit therefore of a +sordid economy unintelligently employed. In fact, the Saillards did +not know how better to manage their savings than to carry them, five +thousand francs at a time, to their notary, Monsieur Sorbier, Cardot's +predecessor, and let him invest them at five per cent in first +mortgages, with the wife's rights reserved in case the borrower was +married! In 1804 Madame Saillard obtained a government office for the +sale of stamped papers, a circumstance which brought a servant into the +household for the first time. At the time of which we write, the house, +which was worth a hundred thousand francs, brought in a rental of eight +thousand. Falleix paid seven per cent for the sixty thousand invested +in the foundry, besides an equal division of profits. The Saillards were +therefore enjoying an income of not less than seventeen thousand francs +a year. The whole ambition of the good man now centred on obtaining the +cross of the Legion and his retiring pension. + +Elisabeth, the only child, had toiled steadily from infancy in a home +where the customs of life were rigid and the ideas simple. A new hat for +Saillard was a matter of deliberation; the time a coat could last was +estimated and discussed; umbrellas were carefully hung up by means of +a brass buckle. Since 1804 no repairs of any kind had been done to the +house. The Saillards kept the ground-floor in precisely the state in +which their predecessor left it. The gilding of the pier-glasses was +rubbed off; the paint on the cornices was hardly visible through the +layers of dust that time had collected. The fine large rooms still +retained certain sculptured marble mantel-pieces and ceilings, worthy +of Versailles, together with the old furniture of the widow Bidault. The +latter consisted of a curious mixture of walnut armchairs, disjointed, +and covered with tapestry; rosewood bureaus; round tables on single +pedestals, with brass railings and cracked marble tops; one superb +Boulle secretary, the value of which style had not yet been recognized; +in short, a chaos of bargains picked up by the worthy widow,--pictures +bought for the sake of the frames, china services of a composite order; +to wit, a magnificent Japanese dessert set, and all the rest porcelains +of various makes, unmatched silver plate, old glass, fine damask, and a +four-post bedstead, hung with curtains and garnished with plumes. + +Amid these curious relics, Madame Saillard always sat on a sofa of +modern mahogany, near a fireplace full of ashes and without fire, on the +mantel-shelf of which stood a clock, some antique bronzes, candelabra +with paper flowers but no candles, for the careful housewife lighted the +room with a tall tallow candle always guttering down into the flat brass +candlestick which held it. Madame Saillard's face, despite its wrinkles, +was expressive of obstinacy and severity, narrowness of ideas, an +uprightness that might be called quadrangular, a religion without piety, +straightforward, candid avarice, and the peace of a quiet conscience. +You may see in certain Flemish pictures the wives of burgomasters cut +out by nature on the same pattern and wonderfully reproduced on canvas; +but these dames wear fine robes of velvet and precious stuffs, whereas +Madame Saillard possessed no robes, only that venerable garment called +in Touraine and Picardy "cottes," elsewhere petticoats, or skirts +pleated behind and on each side, with other skirts hanging over them. +Her bust was inclosed in what was called a "casaquin," another obsolete +name for a short gown or jacket. She continued to wear a cap with +starched wings, and shoes with high heels. Though she was now +fifty-seven years old, and her lifetime of vigorous household work ought +now to be rewarded with well-earned repose, she was incessantly employed +in knitting her husband's stockings and her own, and those of an uncle, +just as her countrywomen knit them, moving about the room, talking, +pacing up and down the garden, or looking round the kitchen to watch +what was going on. + +The Saillard's avarice, which was really imposed on them in the first +instance by dire necessity, was now a second nature. When the cashier +got back from the office, he laid aside his coat, and went to work in +the large garden, shut off from the courtyard by an iron railing, and +which the family reserved to itself. For years Elisabeth, the daughter, +went to market every morning with her mother, and the two did all +the work of the house. The mother cooked well, especially a duck with +turnips; but, according to Saillard, no one could equal Elisabeth in +hashing the remains of a leg of mutton with onions. "You might eat +your boots with those onions and not know it," he remarked. As soon +as Elisabeth knew how to hold a needle, her mother had her mend the +household linen and her father's coats. Always at work, like a servant, +she never went out alone. Though living close by the boulevard du +Temple, where Franconi, La Gaite, and l'Ambigu-Comique were within a +stone's throw, and, further on, the Porte-Saint-Martin, Elisabeth had +never seen a comedy. When she asked to "see what it was like" (with the +Abbe Gaudron's permission, be it understood), Monsieur Baudoyer took +her--for the glory of the thing, and to show her the finest that was to +be seen--to the Opera, where they were playing "The Chinese Laborer." +Elisabeth thought "the comedy" as wearisome as the plague of flies, and +never wished to see another. On Sundays, after walking four times to +and fro between the place Royale and Saint-Paul's church (for her mother +made her practise the precepts and the duties of religion), her parents +took her to the pavement in front of the Cafe Ture, where they sat on +chairs placed between a railing and the wall. The Saillards always made +haste to reach the place early so as to choose the best seats, and found +much entertainment in watching the passers-by. In those days the Cafe +Ture was the rendezvous of the fashionable society of the Marais, the +faubourg Saint-Antoine, and the circumjacent regions. + +Elisabeth never wore anything but cotton gowns in summer and merino in +the winter, which she made herself. Her mother gave her twenty francs +a month for her expenses, but her father, who was very fond of her, +mitigated this rigorous treatment with a few presents. She never read +what the Abbe Gaudron, vicar of Saint-Paul's and the family director, +called profane books. This discipline had borne fruit. Forced to employ +her feelings on some passion or other, Elisabeth became eager after +gain. Though she was not lacking in sense or perspicacity, religious +theories, and her complete ignorance of higher emotions had encircled +all her faculties with an iron hand; they were exercised solely on the +commonest things of life; spent in a few directions they were able +to concentrate themselves on a matter in hand. Repressed by religious +devotion, her natural intelligence exercised itself within the limits +marked out by cases of conscience, which form a mine of subtleties +among which self-interest selects its subterfuges. Like those saintly +personages in whom religion does not stifle ambition, Elisabeth was +capable of requiring others to do a blamable action that she might reap +the fruits; and she would have been, like them again, implacable as to +her dues and dissembling in her actions. Once offended, she watched her +adversaries with the perfidious patience of a cat, and was capable of +bringing about some cold and complete vengeance, and then laying it to +the account of God. Until her marriage the Saillards lived without other +society than that of the Abbe Gaudron, a priest from Auvergne appointed +vicar of Saint-Paul's after the restoration of Catholic worship. Besides +this ecclesiastic, who was a friend of the late Madame Bidault, a +paternal uncle of Madame Saillard, an old paper-dealer retired from +business ever since the year II. of the Republic, and now sixty-nine +years old, came to see them on Sundays only, because on that day no +government business went on. + +This little old man, with a livid face blazoned by the red nose of a +tippler and lighted by two gleaming vulture eyes, allowed his gray hair +to hang loose under a three-cornered hat, wore breeches with straps that +extended beyond the buckles, cotton stockings of mottled thread knitted +by his niece, whom he always called "the little Saillard," stout shoes +with silver buckles, and a surtout coat of mixed colors. He looked very +much like those verger-beadle-bell-ringing-grave-digging-parish-clerks +who are taken to be caricatures until we see them performing their +various functions. On the present occasion he had come on foot to dine +with the Saillards, intending to return in the same way to the rue +Greneta, where he lived on the third floor of an old house. His business +was that of discounting commercial paper in the quartier Saint-Martin, +where he was known by the nickname of "Gigonnet," from the nervous +convulsive movement with which he lifted his legs in walking, like a +cat. Monsieur Bidault began this business in the year II. in partnership +with a dutchman named Werbrust, a friend of Gobseck. + +Some time later Saillard made the acquaintance of Monsieur and Madame +Transon, wholesale dealers in pottery, with an establishment in the rue +de Lesdiguieres, who took an interest in Elisabeth and introduced young +Isadore Baudoyer to the family with the intention of marrying her. +Gigonnet approved of the match, for he had long employed a certain +Mitral, uncle of the young man, as clerk. Monsieur and Madame Baudoyer, +father and mother of Isidore, highly respected leather-dressers in the +rue Censier, had slowly made a moderate fortune out of a small trade. +After marrying their only son, on whom they settled fifty thousand +francs, they determined to live in the country, and had lately removed +to the neighborhood of Ile-d'Adam, where after a time they were joined +by Mitral. They frequently came to Paris, however, where they kept a +corner in the house in the rue Censier which they gave to Isidore on +his marriage. The elder Baudoyers had an income of about three thousand +francs left to live upon after establishing their son. + +Mitral was a being with a sinister wig, a face the color of Seine water, +lighted by a pair of Spanish-tobacco-colored eyes, cold as a well-rope, +always smelling a rat, and close-mouthed about his property. He probably +made his fortune in his own hole and corner, just as Werbrust and +Gigonnet made theirs in the quartier Saint-Martin. + +Though the Saillards' circle of acquaintance increased, neither their +ideas nor their manners and customs changed. The saint's-days of father, +mother, daughter, son-in-law, and grandchild were carefully observed, +also the anniversaries of birth and marriage, Easter, Christmas, +New Year's day, and Epiphany. These festivals were preceded by great +domestic sweepings and a universal clearing up of the house, which added +an element of usefulness to the ceremonies. When the festival day +came, the presents were offered with much pomp and an accompaniment of +flowers,--silk stockings or a fur cap for old Saillard; gold earrings +and articles of plate for Elisabeth or her husband, for whom, little +by little, the parents were accumulating a whole silver service; silk +petticoats for Madame Saillard, who laid the stuff by and never made it +up. The recipient of these gifts was placed in an armchair and asked +by those present for a certain length of time, "Guess what we have for +you!" Then came a splendid dinner, lasting at least five hours, to which +were invited the Abbe Gaudron, Falleix, Rabourdin, Monsieur Godard, +under-head-clerk to Monsieur Baudoyer, Monsieur Bataille, captain of +the company of the National Guard to which Saillard and his son-in-law +belonged. Monsieur Cardot, who was invariably asked, did as Rabourdin +did, namely, accepted one invitation out of six. The company sang at +dessert, shook hands and embraced with enthusiasm, wishing each other +all manner of happiness; the presents were exhibited and the opinion of +the guests asked about them. The day Saillard received his fur cap +he wore it during the dessert, to the satisfaction of all present. At +night, mere ordinary acquaintances were bidden, and dancing went on till +very late, formerly to the music of one violin, but for the last six +years Monsieur Godard, who was a great flute player, contributed +the piercing tones of a flageolet to the festivity. The cook, Madame +Baudoyer's nurse, and old Catherine, Madame Saillard's woman-servant, +together with the porter or his wife, stood looking on at the door of +the salon. The servants always received three francs on these occasions +to buy themselves wine or coffee. + +This little circle looked upon Saillard and Baudoyer as transcendent +beings; they were government officers; they had risen by their own +merits; they worked, it was said, with the minister himself; they owed +their fortune to their talents; they were politicians. Baudoyer was +considered the more able of the two; his position as head of a bureau +presupposed labor that was more intricate and arduous than that of a +cashier. Moreover, Isidore, though the son of a leather-dresser, had had +the genius to study and to cast aside his father's business and find a +career in politics, which had led him to a post of eminence. In short, +silent and uncommunicative as he was, he was looked upon as a deep +thinker, and perhaps, said the admiring circle, he would some day +become deputy of the eighth arrondissement. As Gigonnet listened to such +remarks as these, he pressed his already pinched lips closer together, +and threw a glance at his great-niece, Elisabeth. + +In person, Isidore was a tall, stout man of thirty-seven, who perspired +freely, and whose head looked as if he had water on the brain. This +enormous head, covered with chestnut hair cropped close, was joined to +the neck by rolls of flesh which overhung the collar of his coat. He had +the arms of Hercules, hands worthy of Domitian, a stomach which +sobriety held within the limits of the majestic, to use a saying of +Brillaet-Savarin. His face was a good deal like that of the Emperor +Alexander. The Tartar type was in the little eyes and the flattened nose +turned slightly up, in the frigid lips and the short chin. The forehead +was low and narrow. Though his temperament was lymphatic, the devout +Isidore was under the influence of a conjugal passion which time did not +lessen. + +In spite, however, of his resemblance to the handsome Russian Emperor +and the terrible Domitian, Isidore Baudoyer was nothing more than a +political office-holder, of little ability as head of his department, a +cut-and-dried routine man, who concealed the fact that he was a flabby +cipher by so ponderous a personality that no scalpel could cut deep +enough to let the operator see into him. His severe studies, in which +he had shown the patience and sagacity of an ox, and his square head, +deceived his parents, who firmly believed him an extraordinary man. +Pedantic and hypercritical, meddlesome and fault-finding, he was a +terror to the clerks under him, whom he worried in their work, +enforcing the rules rigorously, and arriving himself with such terrible +punctuality that not one of them dared to be a moment late. Baudoyer +wore a blue coat with gilt buttons, a chamois waistcoat, gray trousers +and cravats of various colors. His feet were large and ill-shod. From +the chain of his watch depended an enormous bunch of old trinkets, among +which in 1824 he still wore "American beads," which were very much the +fashion in the year VII. + +In the bosom of this family, bound together by the force of religious +ties, by the inflexibility of its customs, by one solitary emotion, that +of avarice, a passion which was now as it were its compass, Elisabeth +was forced to commune with herself, instead of imparting her ideas to +those around her, for she felt herself without equals in mind who could +comprehend her. Though facts compelled her to judge her husband, her +religious duty led her to keep up as best she could a favorable opinion +of him; she showed him marked respect; honored him as the father of her +child, her husband, the temporal power, as the vicar of Saint-Paul's +told her. She would have thought it a mortal sin to make a single +gesture, or give a single glance, or say a single word which would +reveal to others her real opinion of the imbecile Baudoyer. She even +professed to obey passively all his wishes. But her ears were receptive +of many things; she thought them over, weighed and compared them in the +solitude of her mind, and judged so soberly of men and events that at +the time when our history begins she was the hidden oracle of the two +functionaries, her husband and father, who had, unconsciously, come +to do nothing whatever without consulting her. Old Saillard would say, +innocently, "Isn't she clever, that Elisabeth of mine?" But Baudoyer, +too great a fool not to be puffed up by the false reputation the +quartier Saint-Antoine bestowed upon him, denied his wife's cleverness +all the while that he was making use of it. + +Elisabeth had long felt sure that her uncle Bidault, otherwise called +Gigonnet, was rich and handled vast sums of money. Enlightened by +self-interest, she had come to understand Monsieur des Lupeaulx far +better than the minister understood him. Finding herself married to +a fool, she never allowed herself to think that life might have gone +better with her, she only imagined the possibility of better things +without expecting or wishing to attain them. All her best affections +found their vocation in her love for her daughter, to whom she spared +the pains and privations she had borne in her own childhood; she +believed that in this affection she had her full share in the world of +feeling. Solely for her daughter's sake she had persuaded her father to +take the important step of going into partnership with Falleix. Falleix +had been brought to the Saillard's house by old Bidault, who lent +him money on his merchandise. Falleix thought his old countryman +extortionate, and complained to the Saillards that Gigonnet demanded +eighteen per cent from an Auvergnat. Madame Saillard ventured to +remonstrate with her uncle. + +"It is just because he is an Auvergnat that I take only eighteen per +cent," said Gigonnet, when she spoke of him. + +Falleix, who had made a discovery at the age of twenty-eight, and +communicated it to Saillard, seemed to carry his heart in his hand (an +expression of old Saillard's), and also seemed likely to make a great +fortune. Elisabeth determined to husband him for her daughter and train +him herself, having, as she calculated, seven years to do it in. Martin +Falleix felt and showed the deepest respect for Madame Baudoyer, whose +superior qualities he was able to recognize. If he were fated to make +millions he would always belong to her family, where he had found a +home. The little Baudoyer girl was already trained to bring him his tea +and to take his hat. + +On the evening of which we write, Monsieur Saillard, returning from the +ministry, found a game of boston in full blast; Elisabeth was advising +Falleix how to play; Madame Saillard was knitting in the chimney-corner +and overlooking the cards of the vicar; Monsieur Baudoyer, motionless as +a mile-stone, was employing his mental capacity in calculating how the +cards were placed, and sat opposite to Mitral, who had come up from +Ile-d'Adam for the Christmas holidays. No one moved as the cashier +entered, and for some minutes he walked up and down the room, his fat +face contracted with unaccustomed thought. + +"He is always so when he dines at the ministry," remarked Madame +Saillard; "happily, it is only twice a year, or he'd die of it. Saillard +was never made to be in the government--Well, now, I do hope, Saillard," +she continued in a loud tone, "that you are not going to keep on those +silk breeches and that handsome coat. Go and take them off; don't wear +them at home, my man." + +"Your father has something on his mind," said Baudoyer to his wife, when +the cashier was in his bedroom, undressing without any fire. + +"Perhaps Monsieur de la Billardiere is dead," said Elisabeth, simply; +"and as he is anxious you should have the place, it worries him." + +"Can I be useful in any way?" said the vicar of Saint-Paul's; "if +so, pray use my services. I have the honor to be known to Madame la +Dauphine. These are days when public offices should be given only to +faithful men, whose religious principles are not to be shaken." + +"Dear me!" said Falleix, "do men of merit need protectors and influence +to get places in the government service? I am glad I am an iron-master; +my customers know where to find a good article--" + +"Monsieur," interrupted Baudoyer, "the government is the government; +never attack it in this house." + +"You speak like the 'Constitutionel,'" said the vicar. + +"The 'Constitutionel' never says anything different from that," replied +Baudoyer, who never read it. + +The cashier believed his son-in-law to be as superior in talent +to Rabourdin as God was greater than Saint-Crepin, to use his +own expression; but the good man coveted this appointment in a +straightforward, honest way. Influenced by the feeling which leads all +officials to seek promotion,--a violent, unreflecting, almost brutal +passion,--he desired success, just as he desired the cross of the Legion +of honor, without doing anything against his conscience to obtain it, +and solely, as he believed, on the strength of his son-in-law's merits. +To his thinking, a man who had patiently spent twenty-five years in a +government office behind an iron railing had sacrificed himself to his +country and deserved the cross. But all that he dreamed of doing to +promote his son-in-law's appointment in La Billardiere's place was to +say a word to his Excellency's wife when he took her the month's salary. + +"Well, Saillard, you look as if you had lost all your friends! Do speak; +do, pray, tell us something," cried his wife when he came back into the +room. + +Saillard, after making a little sign to his daughter, turned on his heel +to keep himself from talking politics before strangers. When Monsieur +Mitral and the vicar had departed, Saillard rolled back the card-table +and sat down in an armchair in the attitude he always assumed when about +to tell some office-gossip,--a series of movements which answered the +purpose of the three knocks given at the Theatre-Francais. After binding +his wife, daughter, and son-in-law to the deepest secrecy,--for, +however petty the gossip, their places, as he thought, depended on their +discretion,--he related the incomprehensible enigma of the resignation +of a deputy, the very legitimate desire of the general-secretary to get +elected to the place, and the secret opposition of the minister to this +wish of a man who was one of his firmest supporters and most zealous +workers. This, of course, brought down an avalanche of suppositions, +flooded with the sapient arguments of the two officials, who sent back +and forth to each other a wearisome flood of nonsense. Elisabeth quietly +asked three questions:-- + +"If Monsieur des Lupeaulx is on our side, will Monsieur Baudoyer be +appointed in Monsieur de la Billardiere's place?" + +"Heavens! I should think so," cried the cashier. + +"My uncle Bidault and Monsieur Gobseck helped in him 1814," thought she. +"Is he in debt?" she asked, aloud. + +"Yes," cried the cashier with a hissing and prolonged sound on the last +letter; "his salary was attached, but some of the higher powers released +it by a bill at sight." + +"Where is the des Lupeaulx estate?" + +"Why, don't you know? in the part of the country where your grandfather +and your great-uncle Bidault belong, in the arrondissement of the deputy +who wants to resign." + +When her colossus of a husband had gone to bed, Elisabeth leaned over +him, and though he always treated her remarks as women's nonsense, she +said, "Perhaps you will really get Monsieur de la Billardiere's place." + +"There you go with your imaginations!" said Baudoyer; "leave Monsieur +Gaudron to speak to the Dauphine and don't meddle with politics." + +At eleven o'clock, when all were asleep in the place Royale, Monsieur +des Lupeaulx was leaving the Opera for the rue Duphot. This particular +Wednesday was one of Madame Rabourdin's most brilliant evenings. Many of +her customary guests came in from the theatres and swelled the company +already assembled, among whom were several celebrities, such as: Canalis +the poet, Schinner the painter, Dr. Bianchon, Lucien de Rubempre, Octave +de Camps, the Comte de Granville, the Vicomte de Fontaine, du Bruel the +vaudevillist, Andoche Finot the journalist, Derville, one of the best +heads in the law courts, the Comte du Chatelet, deputy, du Tillet, +banker, and several elegant young men, such as Paul de Manerville and +the Vicomte de Portenduere. Celestine was pouring out tea when the +general-secretary entered. Her dress that evening was very becoming; +she wore a black velvet robe without ornament of any kind, a black gauze +scarf, her hair smoothly bound about her head and raised in a heavy +braided mass, with long curls a l'Anglaise falling on either side of her +face. The charms which particularly distinguished this woman were the +Italian ease of her artistic nature, her ready comprehension, and the +grace with which she welcomed and promoted the least appearance of a +wish on the part of others. Nature had given her an elegant, slender +figure, which could sway lightly at a word, black eyes of oriental +shape, able, like those of the Chinese women, to see out of their +corners. She well knew how to manage a soft, insinuating voice, which +threw a tender charm into every word, even such as she merely chanced +to utter; her feet were like those we see in portraits where the painter +boldly lies and flatters his sitter in the only way which does not +compromise anatomy. Her complexion, a little yellow by day, like that +of most brunettes, was dazzling at night under the wax candles, which +brought out the brilliancy of her black hair and eyes. Her slender and +well-defined outlines reminded an artist of the Venus of the Middle Ages +rendered by Jean Goujon, the illustrious sculptor of Diane de Poitiers. + +Des Lupeaulx stopped in the doorway, and leaned against the woodwork. +This ferret of ideas did not deny himself the pleasure of spying upon +sentiment, and this woman interested him more than any of the others to +whom he had attached himself. Des Lupeaulx had reached an age when men +assert pretensions in regard to women. The first white hairs lead to +the latest passions, all the more violent because they are astride of +vanishing powers and dawning weakness. The age of forty is the age +of folly,--an age when man wants to be loved for himself; whereas at +twenty-five life is so full that he has no wants. At twenty-five he +overflows with vigor and wastes it with impunity, but at forty he learns +that to use it in that way is to abuse it. The thoughts that came into +des Lupeaulx's mind at this moment were melancholy ones. The nerves of +the old beau relaxed; the agreeable smile, which served as a mask and +made the character of his countenance, faded; the real man appeared, and +he was horrible. Rabourdin caught sight of him and thought, "What has +happened to him? can he be disgraced in any way?" The general-secretary +was, however, only thinking how the pretty Madame Colleville, whose +intentions were exactly those of Madame Rabourdin, had summarily +abandoned him when it suited her to do so. Rabourdin caught the sham +statesman's eyes fixed on his wife, and he recorded the look in his +memory. He was too keen an observer not to understand des Lupeaulx to +the bottom, and he deeply despised him; but, as with most busy men, +his feelings and sentiments seldom came to the surface. Absorption in a +beloved work is practically equivalent to the cleverest dissimulation, +and thus it was that the opinions and ideas of Rabourdin were a sealed +book to des Lupeaulx. The former was sorry to see the man in his house, +but he was never willing to oppose his wife's wishes. At this particular +moment, while he talked confidentially with a supernumerary of his +office who was destined, later, to play an unconscious part in a +political intrigue resulting from the death of La Billardiere, he +watched, though half-abstractedly, his wife and des Lupeaulx. + +Here we must explain, as much for foreigners as for our own +grandchildren, what a supernumerary in a government office in Paris +means. + +The supernumerary is to the administration what a choir-boy is to a +church, what the company's child is to the regiment, what the figurante +is to a theatre; something artless, naive, innocent, a being blinded by +illusions. Without illusions what would become of any of us? They give +strength to bear the res angusta domi of arts and the beginnings of all +science by inspiring us with faith. Illusion is illimitable faith. Now +the supernumerary has faith in the administration; he never thinks +it cold, cruel, and hard, as it really is. There are two kinds of +supernumeraries, or hangers-on,--one poor, the other rich. The poor one +is rich in hope and wants a place, the rich one is poor in spirit and +wants nothing. A wealthy family is not so foolish as to put its able +men into the administration. It confides an unfledged scion to some +head-clerk, or gives him in charge of a directory who initiates him into +what Bilboquet, that profound philosopher, called the high comedy of +government; he is spared all the horrors of drudgery and is finally +appointed to some important office. The rich supernumerary never alarms +the other clerks; they know he does not endanger their interests, for he +seeks only the highest posts in the administration. About the period of +which we write many families were saying to themselves: "What can we do +with our sons?" The army no longer offered a chance for fortune. Special +careers, such as civil and military engineering, the navy, mining, and +the professorial chair were all fenced about by strict regulations or +to be obtained only by competition; whereas in the civil service +the revolving wheel which turned clerks into prefects, sub-prefects, +assessors, and collectors, like the figures in a magic lantern, was +subjected to no such rules and entailed no drudgery. Through this easy +gap emerged into life the rich supernumeraries who drove their tilburys, +dressed well, and wore moustachios, all of them as impudent as parvenus. +Journalists were apt to persecute the tribe, who were cousins, nephews, +brothers, or other relatives of some minister, some deputy, or an +influential peer. The humbler clerks regarded them as a means of +influence. + +The poor supernumerary, on the other hand, who is the only real worker, +is almost always the son of some former clerk's widow, who lives on a +meagre pension and sacrifices herself to support her son until he can +get a place as copying-clerk, and then dies leaving him no nearer the +head of his department than writer of deeds, order-clerks, or, possibly, +under-head-clerk. Living always in some locality where rents are low, +this humble supernumerary starts early from home. For him the Eastern +question relates only to the morning skies. To go on foot and not get +muddied, to save his clothes, and allow for the time he may lose in +standing under shelter during a shower, are the preoccupations of +his mind. The street pavements, the flaggings of the quays and the +boulevards, when first laid down, were a boon to him. If, for some +extraordinary reason, you happen to be in the streets of Paris at +half-past seven or eight o'clock of a winter's morning, and see through +piercing cold or fog or rain a timid, pale young man loom up, cigarless, +take notice of his pockets. You will be sure to see the outline of +a roll which his mother has given him to stay his stomach between +breakfast and dinner. The guilelessness of the supernumerary does not +last long. A youth enlightened by gleams by Parisian life soon measures +the frightful distance that separates him from the head-clerkship, a +distance which no mathematician, neither Archimedes, nor Leibnitz, nor +Laplace has ever reckoned, the distance that exists between 0 and the +figure 1. He begins to perceive the impossibilities of his career; he +hears talk of favoritism; he discovers the intrigues of officials: he +sees the questionable means by which his superiors have pushed their +way,--one has married a young woman who made a false step; another, the +natural daughter of a minister; this one shouldered the responsibility +of another's fault; that one, full of talent, risks his health in doing, +with the perseverance of a mole, prodigies of work which the man of +influence feels incapable of doing for himself, though he takes the +credit. Everything is known in a government office. The incapable man +has a wife with a clear head, who has pushed him along and got him +nominated for deputy; if he has not talent enough for an office, he +cabals in the Chamber. The wife of another has a statesman at her feet. +A third is the hidden informant of a powerful journalist. Often the +disgusted and hopeless supernumerary sends in his resignation. About +three fourths of his class leave the government employ without ever +obtaining an appointment, and their number is winnowed down to +either those young men who are foolish or obstinate enough to say to +themselves, "I have been here three years, and I must end sooner or +later by getting a place," or to those who are conscious of a vocation +for the work. Undoubtedly the position of supernumerary in a government +office is precisely what the novitiate is in a religious order,--a +trial. It is a rough trial. The State discovers how many of them can +bear hunger, thirst, and penury without breaking down, how many can toil +without revolting against it; it learns which temperaments can bear +up under the horrible experience--or if you like, the disease--of +government official life. From this point of view the apprenticeship of +the supernumerary, instead of being an infamous device of the government +to obtain labor gratis, becomes a useful institution. + +The young man with whom Rabourdin was talking was a poor supernumerary +named Sebastien de la Roche, who had picked his way on the points of his +toes, without incurring the least splash upon his boots, from the rue du +Roi-Dore in the Marais. He talked of his mamma, and dared not raise his +eyes to Madame Rabourdin, whose house appeared to him as gorgeous as +the Louvre. He was careful to show his gloves, well cleaned with +india-rubber, as little as he could. His poor mother had put five francs +in his pocket in case it became absolutely necessary that he should play +cards; but she enjoined him to take nothing, to remain standing, and +to be very careful not to knock over a lamp or the bric-a-brac from an +etagere. His dress was all of the strictest black. His fair face, his +eyes, of a fine shade of green with golden reflections, were in keeping +with a handsome head of auburn hair. The poor lad looked furtively at +Madame Rabourdin, whispering to himself, "How beautiful!" and was likely +to dream of that fairy when he went to bed. + +Rabourdin had noted a vocation for his work in the lad, and as he +himself took the whole service seriously, he felt a lively interest in +him. He guessed the poverty of his mother's home, kept together on a +widow's pension of seven hundred francs a year--for the education of +the son, who was just out of college, had absorbed all her savings. He +therefore treated the youth almost paternally; often endeavoured to +get him some fee from the Council, or paid it from his own pocket. He +overwhelmed Sebastien with work, trained him, and allowed him to do the +work of du Bruel's place, for which that vaudevillist, otherwise known +as Cursy, paid him three hundred francs out of his salary. In the minds +of Madame de la Roche and her son, Rabourdin was at once a great man, a +tyrant, and an angel. On him all the poor fellow's hopes of getting an +appointment depended, and the lad's devotion to his chief was boundless. +He dined once a fortnight in the rue Duphot; but always at a family +dinner, invited by Rabourdin himself; Madame asked him to evening +parties only when she wanted partners. + +At that moment Rabourdin was scolding poor Sebastien, the only human +being who was in the secret of his immense labors. The youth copied and +recopied the famous "statement," written on a hundred and fifty +folio sheets, besides the corroborative documents, and the summing up +(contained in one page), with the estimates bracketed, the captions in a +running hand, and the sub-titles in a round one. Full of enthusiasm, in +spite of his merely mechanical participation in the great idea, the lad +of twenty would rewrite whole pages for a single blot, and made it his +glory to touch up the writing, regarding it as the element of a noble +undertaking. Sebastien had that afternoon committed the great imprudence +of carrying into the general office, for the purpose of copying, a paper +which contained the most dangerous facts to make known prematurely, +namely, a memorandum relating to the officials in the central offices +of all ministries, with facts concerning their fortunes, actual and +prospective, together with the individual enterprises of each outside of +his government employment. + +All government clerks in Paris who are not endowed, like Rabourdin, with +patriotic ambition or other marked capacity, usually add the profits +of some industry to the salary of their office, in order to eke out a +living. A number do as Monsieur Saillard did,--put their money into a +business carried on by others, and spend their evenings in keeping +the books of their associates. Many clerks are married to milliners, +licensed tobacco dealers, women who have charge of the public lotteries +or reading-rooms. Some, like the husband of Madame Colleville, +Celestine's rival, play in the orchestra of a theatre; others like du +Bruel, write vaudeville, comic operas, melodramas, or act as prompters +behind the scenes. We may mention among them Messrs. Planard, Sewrin, +etc. Pigault-Lebrun, Piis, Duvicquet, in their day, were in government +employ. Monsieur Scribe's head-librarian was a clerk in the Treasury. + +Besides such information as this, Rabourdin's memorandum contained an +inquiry into the moral and physical capacities and faculties necessary +in those who were to examine the intelligence, aptitude for labor, +and sound health of the applicants for government service,--three +indispensable qualities in men who are to bear the burden of public +affairs and should do their business well and quickly. But this careful +study, the result of ten years' observation and experience, and of a +long acquaintance with men and things obtained by intercourse with the +various functionaries in the different ministries, would assuredly have, +to those who did not see its purport and connection, an air of treachery +and police espial. If a single page of these papers were to fall under +the eye of those concerned, Monsieur Rabourdin was lost. Sebastien, +who admired his chief without reservation, and who was, as yet, wholly +ignorant of the evils of bureaucracy, had the follies of guilelessness +as well as its grace. Blamed on a former occasion for carrying away +these papers, he now bravely acknowledged his fault to its fullest +extent; he related how he had put away both the memorandum and the copy +carefully in a box in the office where no one would ever find them. +Tears rolled from his eyes as he realized the greatness of his offence. + +"Come, come!" said Rabourdin, kindly. "Don't be so imprudent again, but +never mind now. Go to the office very early tomorrow morning; here is +the key of a small safe which is in my roller secretary; it shuts with +a combination lock. You can open it with the word 'sky'; put the +memorandum and your copy into it and shut it carefully." + +This proof of confidence dried the poor fellow's tears. Rabourdin +advised him to take a cup of tea and some cakes. + +"Mamma forbids me to drink tea, on account of my chest," said Sebastien. + +"Well, then, my dear child," said the imposing Madame Rabourdin, who +wished to appear gracious, "here are some sandwiches and cream; come and +sit by me." + +She made Sebastien sit down beside her, and the lad's heart rose in +his throat as he felt the robe of this divinity brush the sleeve of +his coat. Just then the beautiful woman caught sight of Monsieur des +Lupeaulx standing in the doorway. She smiled, and not waiting till he +came to her, she went to him. + +"Why do you stay there as if you were sulking?" she asked. + +"I am not sulking," he returned; "I came to announce some good news, +but the thought has overtaken me that it will only add to your severity +towards me. I fancy myself six months hence almost a stranger to you. +Yes, you are too clever, and I too experienced,--too blase, if you +like,--for either of us to deceive the other. Your end is attained +without its costing you more than a few smiles and gracious words." + +"Deceive each other! what can you mean?" she cried, in a hurt tone. + +"Yes; Monsieur de la Billardiere is dying, and from what the minister +told me this evening I judge that your husband will be appointed in his +place." + +He thereupon related what he called his scene at the ministry and the +jealousy of the countess, repeating her remarks about the invitation he +had asked her to send to Madame Rabourdin. + +"Monsieur des Lupeaulx," said Madame Rabourdin, with dignity, "permit me +to tell you that my husband is the oldest head-clerk as well as the most +capable man in the division; also that the appointment of La Billardiere +over his head made much talk in the service, and that my husband has +stayed on for the last year expecting this promotion, for which he has +really no competitor and no rival." + +"That is true." + +"Well, then," she resumed, smiling and showing her handsome teeth, +"how can you suppose that the friendship I feel for you is marred by a +thought of self-interest? Why should you think me capable of that?" + +Des Lupeaulx made a gesture of admiring denial. + +"Ah!" she continued, "the heart of woman will always remain a secret +for even the cleverest of men. Yes, I welcomed you to my house with the +greatest pleasure; and there was, I admit, a motive of self-interest +behind my pleasure--" + +"Ah!" + +"You have a career before you," she whispered in his ear, "a future +without limit; you will be deputy, minister!" (What happiness for an +ambitious man when such things as these are warbled in his ear by the +sweet voice of a pretty woman!) "Oh, yes! I know you better than you +know yourself. Rabourdin is a man who could be of immense service to +you in such a career; he could do the steady work while you were in +the Chamber. Just as you dream of the ministry, so I dream of seeing +Rabourdin in the Council of State, and general director. It is therefore +my object to draw together two men who can never injure, but, on the +contrary, must greatly help each other. Isn't that a woman's mission? +If you are friends, you will both rise the faster, and it is surely +high time that each of you made hay. I have burned my ships," she added, +smiling. "But you are not as frank with me as I have been with you." + +"You would not listen to me if I were," he replied, with a melancholy +air, in spite of the deep inward satisfaction her remarks gave him. +"What would such future promotions avail me, if you dismiss me now?" + +"Before I listen to you," she replied, with naive Parisian liveliness, +"we must be able to understand each other." + +And she left the old fop to go and speak with Madame de Chessel, a +countess from the provinces, who seemed about to take leave. + +"That is a very extraordinary woman," said des Lupeaulx to himself. "I +don't know my own self when I am with her." + +Accordingly, this man of no principle, who six years earlier had kept +a ballet-girl, and who now, thanks to his position, made himself a +seraglio with the pretty wives of the under-clerks, and lived in the +world of journalists and actresses, became devotedly attentive all the +evening to Celestine, and was the last to leave the house. + +"At last!" thought Madame Rabourdin, as she undressed that night, "we +have the place! Twelve thousand francs a year and perquisites, beside +the rents of our farms at Grajeux,--nearly twenty thousand francs a +year. It is not affluence, but at least it isn't poverty." + + + + +CHAPTER IV. THREE-QUARTER LENGTH PORTRAITS OF CERTAIN GOVERNMENT +OFFICIALS + +If it were possible for literature to use the microscope of the +Leuwenhoeks, the Malpighis, and the Raspails (an attempt once made +by Hoffman, of Berlin), and if we could magnify and then picture the +teredos navalis, in other words, those ship-worms which brought Holland +within an inch of collapsing by honey-combing her dykes, we might have +been able to give a more distinct idea of Messieurs Gigonnet, Baudoyer, +Saillard, Gaudron, Falleix, Transon, Godard and company, borers and +burrowers, who proved their undermining power in the thirtieth year of +this century. + +But now it is time to show another set of teredos, who burrowed and +swarmed in the government offices where the principal scenes of our +present study took place. + +In Paris nearly all these government bureaus resemble each other. Into +whatever ministry you penetrate to ask some slight favor, or to get +redress for a trifling wrong, you will find the same dark corridors, +ill-lighted stairways, doors with oval panes of glass like eyes, as at +the theatre. In the first room as you enter you will find the office +servant; in the second, the under-clerks; the private office of the +second head-clerk is to the right or left, and further on is that of +the head of the bureau. As to the important personage called, under the +Empire, head of division, then, under the Restoration, director, and now +by the former name, head or chief of division, he lives either above or +below the offices of his three or four different bureaus. + +Speaking in the administrative sense, a bureau consists of a +man-servant, several supernumeraries (who do the work gratis for a +certain number of years), various copying clerks, writers of bills and +deeds, order clerks, principal clerks, second or under head-clerk, +and head-clerk, otherwise called head or chief of the bureau. These +denominational titles vary under some administrations; for instance, the +order-clerks are sometimes called auditors, or again, book-keepers. + +Paved like the corridor, and hung with a shabby paper, the first room, +where the servant is stationed, is furnished with a stove, a large black +table with inkstand, pens, and paper, and benches, but no mats on which +to wipe the public feet. The clerk's office beyond is a large room, +tolerably well lighted, but seldom floored with wood. Wooden floors and +fireplaces are commonly kept sacred to heads of bureaus and divisions; +and so are closets, wardrobes, mahogany tables, sofas and armchairs +covered with red or green morocco, silk curtains, and other articles of +administrative luxury. The clerk's office contents itself with a stove, +the pipe of which goes into the chimney, if there be a chimney. The wall +paper is plain and all of one color, usually green or brown. The tables +are of black wood. The private characteristics of the several clerks +often crop out in their method of settling themselves at their +desks,--the chilly one has a wooden footstool under his feet; the man +with a bilious temperament has a metal mat; the lymphatic being who +dreads draughts constructs a fortification of boxes on a screen. The +door of the under-head-clerk's office always stands open so that he may +keep an eye to some extent on his subordinates. + +Perhaps an exact description of Monsieur de la Billardiere's division +will suffice to give foreigners and provincials an idea of the internal +manners and customs of a government office; the chief features of +which are probably much the same in the civil service of all European +governments. + +In the first place, picture to yourself the man who is thus described in +the Yearly Register:-- + + "Chief of Division.--Monsieur la baron Flamet de la Billardiere + (Athanase-Jean-Francois-Michel) formerly provost-marshal of + the department of the Correze, gentleman in ordinary of the + bed-chamber, president of the college of the department of the + Dordogne, officer of the Legion of honor, knight of Saint Louis + and of the foreign orders of Christ, Isabella, Saint Wladimir, + etc., member of the Academy of Gers, and other learned bodies, + vice-president of the Society of Belles-lettres, member of the + Association of Saint-Joseph and of the Society of Prisons, one of + the mayors of Paris, etc." + +The person who requires so much typographic space was at this time +occupying an area five feet six in length by thirty-six inches in +width in a bed, his head adorned with a cotton night-cap tied on by +flame-colored ribbons; attended by Despleins, the King's surgeon, and +young doctor Bianchon, flanked by two old female relatives, surrounded +by phials of all kinds, bandages, appliances, and various mortuary +instruments, and watched over by the curate of Saint-Roch, who was +advising him to think of his salvation. + +La Billardiere's division occupied the upper floor of a magnificent +mansion, in which the vast official ocean of a ministry was contained. +A wide landing separated its two bureaus, the doors of which were duly +labelled. The private offices and antechambers of the heads of the two +bureaus, Monsieur Rabourdin and Monsieur Baudoyer, were below on +the second floor, and beyond that of Monsieur Rabourdin were the +antechamber, salon, and two offices of Monsieur de la Billardiere. + +On the first floor, divided in two by an entresol, were the living +rooms and office of Monsieur Ernest de la Briere, an occult and powerful +personage who must be described in a few words, for he well deserves +the parenthesis. This young man held, during the whole time that this +particular administration lasted, the position of private secretary +to the minister. His apartment was connected by a secret door with the +private office of his Excellency. A private secretary is to the minister +himself what des Lupeaulx was to the ministry at large. The same +difference existed between young La Briere and des Lupeaulx that there +is between an aide-de-camp and a chief of staff. This ministerial +apprentice decamps when his protector leaves office, returning sometimes +when he returns. If the minister enjoys the royal favor when he falls, +or still has parliamentary hopes, he takes his secretary with him into +retirement only to bring him back on his return; otherwise he puts him +to grass in some of the various administrative pastures,--for instance, +in the Court of Exchequer, that wayside refuge where private secretaries +wait for the storm to blow over. The young man is not precisely a +government official; he is a political character, however; and sometimes +his politics are limited to those of one man. When we think of the +number of letters it is the private secretary's fate to open and read, +besides all his other avocations, it is very evident that under a +monarchical government his services would be well paid for. A drudge +of this kind costs ten or twenty thousand francs a year; and he enjoys, +moreover, the opera-boxes, the social invitations, and the carriages of +the minister. The Emperor of Russia would be thankful to be able to pay +fifty thousand a year to one of these amiable constitutional poodles, +so gentle, so nicely curled, so caressing, so docile, always spick and +span,--careful watch-dogs besides, and faithful to a degree! But +the private secretary is a product of the representative government +hot-house; he is propagated and developed there, and there only. Under +a monarchy you will find none but courtiers and vassals, whereas under a +constitutional government you may be flattered, served, and adulated by +free men. In France ministers are better off than kings or women; they +have some one who thoroughly understands them. Perhaps, indeed, the +private secretary is to be pitied as much as women and white paper. They +are nonentities who are made to bear all things. They are allowed no +talents except hidden ones, which must be employed in the service of +their ministers. A public show of talent would ruin them. The +private secretary is therefore an intimate friend in the gift of +government--However, let us return to the bureaus. + +Three men-servants lived in peace in the Billardiere division, to wit: a +footman for the two bureaus, another for the service of the two chiefs, +and a third for the director of the division himself. All three were +lodged, warmed, and clothed by the State, and wore the well-known livery +of the State, blue coat with red pipings for undress, and broad red, +white, and blue braid for great occasions. La Billardiere's man had the +air of a gentleman-usher, an innovation which gave an aspect of dignity +to the division. + +Pillars of the ministry, experts in all manners and customs +bureaucratic, well-warmed and clothed at the State's expense, growing +rich by reason of their few wants, these lackeys saw completely through +the government officials, collectively and individually. They had +no better way of amusing their idle hours than by observing these +personages and studying their peculiarities. They knew how far to trust +the clerks with loans of money, doing their various commissions with +absolute discretion; they pawned and took out of pawn, bought up bills +when due, and lent money without interest, albeit no clerk ever borrowed +of them without returning a "gratification." These servants without a +master received a salary of nine hundred francs a year; new years' gifts +and "gratifications" brought their emoluments to twelve hundred francs, +and they made almost as much money by serving breakfasts to the clerks +at the office. + +The elder of these men, who was also the richest, waited upon the main +body of the clerks. He was sixty years of age, with white hair cropped +short like a brush; stout, thickset, and apoplectic about the neck, with +a vulgar pimpled face, gray eyes, and a mouth like a furnace door; +such was the profile portrait of Antoine, the oldest attendant in the +ministry. He had brought his two nephews, Laurent and Gabriel, from +Echelles in Savoie,--one to serve the heads of the bureaus, the other +the director himself. All three came to open the offices and clean them, +between seven and eight o'clock in the morning; at which time they read +the newspapers and talked civil service politics from their point of +view with the servants of other divisions, exchanging the bureaucratic +gossip. In common with servants of modern houses who know their masters' +private affairs thoroughly, they lived at the ministry like spiders at +the centre of a web, where they felt the slightest jar of the fabric. + +On a Thursday evening, the day after the ministerial reception and +Madame Rabourdin's evening party, just as Antoine was trimming his beard +and his nephews were assisting him in the antechamber of the division on +the upper floor, they were surprised by the unexpected arrival of one of +the clerks. + +"That's Monsieur Dutocq," said Antoine. "I know him by that pickpocket +step of his. He is always moving round on the sly, that man. He is on +your back before you know it. Yesterday, contrary to his usual ways, he +outstayed the last man in the office; such a thing hasn't happened three +times since he has been at the ministry." + +Here follows the portrait of Monsieur Dutocq, order-clerk in the +Rabourdin bureau: Thirty-eight years old, oblong face and bilious skin, +grizzled hair always cut close, low forehead, heavy eyebrows meeting +together, a crooked nose and pinched lips; tall, the right shoulder +slightly higher than the left; brown coat, black waistcoat, silk cravat, +yellowish trousers, black woollen stockings, and shoes with +flapping bows; thus you behold him. Idle and incapable, he hated +Rabourdin,--naturally enough, for Rabourdin had no vice to flatter, and +no bad or weak side on which Dutocq could make himself useful. Far too +noble to injure a clerk, the chief was also too clear-sighted to be +deceived by any make-believe. Dutocq kept his place therefore solely +through Rabourdin's generosity, and was very certain that he could +never be promoted if the latter succeeded La Billardiere. Though he knew +himself incapable of important work, Dutocq was well aware that in +a government office incapacity was no hindrance to advancement; La +Billardiere's own appointment over the head of so capable a man as +Rabourdin had been a striking and fatal example of this. Wickedness +combined with self-interest works with a power equivalent to that +of intellect; evilly disposed and wholly self-interested, Dutocq had +endeavoured to strengthen his position by becoming a spy in all the +offices. After 1816 he assumed a marked religious tone, foreseeing +the favor which the fools of those days would bestow on those they +indiscriminately called Jesuits. Belonging to that fraternity in spirit, +though not admitted to its rites, Dutocq went from bureau to bureau, +sounded consciences by recounting immoral jests, and then reported and +paraphrased results to des Lupeaulx; the latter thus learned all the +trivial events of the ministry, and often surprised the minister by his +consummate knowledge of what was going on. He tolerated Dutocq under the +idea that circumstances might some day make him useful, were it only +to get him or some distinguished friend of his out of a scrape by a +disgraceful marriage. The two understood each other well. Dutocq had +succeeded Monsieur Poiret the elder, who had retired in 1814, and now +lived in the pension Vanquer in the Latin quarter. Dutocq himself +lived in a pension in the rue de Beaune, and spent his evenings in the +Palais-Royal, sometimes going to the theatre, thanks to du Bruel, who +gave him an author's ticket about once a week. And now, a word on du +Bruel. + +Though Sebastien did his work at the office for the small compensation +we have mentioned, du Bruel was in the habit of coming there to +advertise the fact that he was the under-head-clerk and to draw +his salary. His real work was that of dramatic critic to a leading +ministerial journal, in which he also wrote articles inspired by +the ministers,--a very well understood, clearly defined, and quite +unassailable position. Du Bruel was not lacking in those diplomatic +little tricks which go so far to conciliate general good-will. He sent +Madame Rabourdin an opera-box for a first representation, took her +there in a carriage and brought her back,--an attention which evidently +pleased her. Rabourdin, who was never exacting with his subordinates +allowed du Bruel to go off to rehearsals, come to the office at his +own hours, and work at his vaudevilles when there. Monsieur le Duc de +Chaulieu, the minister, knew that du Bruel was writing a novel which was +to be dedicated to himself. Dressed with the careless ease of a theatre +man, du Bruel wore, in the morning, trousers strapped under his feet, +shoes with gaiters, a waistcoat evidently vamped over, an olive surtout, +and a black cravat. At night he played the gentleman in elegant clothes. +He lived, for good reasons, in the same house as Florine, an actress for +whom he wrote plays. Du Bruel, or to give him his pen name, Cursy, was +working just now at a piece in five acts for the Francais. Sebastien +was devoted to the author,--who occasionally gave him tickets to the +pit,--and applauded his pieces at the parts which du Bruel told him were +of doubtful interest, with all the faith and enthusiasm of his years. In +fact, the youth looked upon the playwright as a great author, and it was +to Sebastien that du Bruel said, the day after a first representation +of a vaudeville produced, like all vaudevilles, by three collaborators, +"The audience preferred the scenes written by two." + +"Why don't you write alone?" asked Sebastien naively. + +There were good reasons why du Bruel did not write alone. He was the +third of an author. A dramatic writer, as few people know, is made up +of three individuals; first, the man with brains who invents the subject +and maps out the structure, or scenario, of the vaudeville; second, the +plodder, who works the piece into shape; and third, the toucher-up, who +sets the songs to music, arranges the chorus and concerted pieces and +fits them into their right place, and finally writes the puffs and +advertisements. Du Bruel was a plodder; at the office he read the newest +books, extracted their wit, and laid it by for use in his dialogues. He +was liked by his collaborators on account of his carefulness; the man +with brains, sure of being understood, could cross his arms and feel +that his ideas would be well rendered. The clerks in the office liked +their companion well enough to attend a first performance of his plays +in a body and applaud them, for he really deserved the title of a +good fellow. His hand went readily to his pocket; ices and punch were +bestowed without prodding, and he loaned fifty francs without asking +them back. He owned a country-house at Aulnay, laid by his money, and +had, besides the four thousand five hundred francs of his salary under +government, twelve hundred francs pension from the civil list, and +eight hundred from the three hundred thousand francs fund voted by the +Chambers for encouragement of the Arts. Add to these diverse emoluments +nine thousand francs earned by his quarters, thirds, and halves of plays +in three different theatres, and you will readily understand that such +a man must be physically round, fat, and comfortable, with the face of +a worthy capitalist. As to morals, he was the lover and the beloved +of Tullia and felt himself preferred in heart to the brilliant Duc de +Rhetore, the lover in chief. + +Dutocq had seen with great uneasiness what he called the liaison of des +Lupeaulx with Madame Rabourdin, and his silent wrath on the subject +was accumulating. He had too prying an eye not to have guessed that +Rabourdin was engaged in some great work outside of his official labors, +and he was provoked to feel that he knew nothing about it, whereas +that little Sebastien was, wholly or in part, in the secret. Dutocq was +intimate with Godard, under-head-clerk to Baudoyer, and the high esteem +in which Dutocq held Baudoyer was the original cause of his acquaintance +with Godard; not that Dutocq was sincere even in this; but by praising +Baudoyer and saying nothing of Rabourdin he satisfied his hatred after +the fashion of little minds. + +Joseph Godard, a cousin of Mitral on the mother's side, made pretension +to the hand of Mademoiselle Baudoyer, not perceiving that her mother was +laying siege to Falliex as a son-in-law. He brought little gifts to the +young lady, artificial flowers, bonbons on New-Year's day and pretty +boxes for her birthday. Twenty-six years of age, a worker working +without purpose, steady as a girl, monotonous and apathetic, holding +cafes, cigars, and horsemanship in detestation, going to bed regularly +at ten o'clock and rising at seven, gifted with some social talents, +such as playing quadrille music on the flute, which first brought him +into favor with the Saillards and the Baudoyers. He was moreover a fifer +in the National Guard,--to escape his turn of sitting up all night in a +barrack-room. Godard was devoted more especially to natural history. He +made collections of shells and minerals, knew how to stuff birds, kept +a mass of curiosities bought for nothing in his bedroom; took +possession of phials and empty perfume bottles for his specimens; pinned +butterflies and beetles under glass, hung Chinese parasols on the +walls, together with dried fishskins. He lived with his sister, an +artificial-flower maker, in the due de Richelieu. Though much admired +by mammas this model young man was looked down upon by his sister's +shop-girls, who had tried to inveigle him. Slim and lean, of medium +height, with dark circles round his eyes, Joseph Godard took little care +of his person; his clothes were ill-cut, his trousers bagged, he wore +white stockings at all seasons of the year, a hat with a narrow brim and +laced shoes. He was always complaining of his digestion. His principal +vice was a mania for proposing rural parties during the summer +season, excursions to Montmorency, picnics on the grass, and visits to +creameries on the boulevard du Mont-Parnasse. For the last six months +Dutocq had taken to visiting Mademoiselle Godard from time to time, with +certain views of his own, hoping to discover in her establishment some +female treasure. + +Thus Baudoyer had a pair of henchmen in Dutocq and Godard. Monsieur +Saillard, too innocent to judge rightly of Dutocq, was in the habit of +paying him frequent little visits at the office. Young La Billardiere, +the director's son, placed as supernumerary with Baudoyer, made another +member of the clique. The clever heads in the offices laughed much at +this alliance of incapables. Bixiou named Baudoyer, Godard, and Dutocq +a "Trinity without the Spirit," and little La Billardiere the "Pascal +Lamb." + +"You are early this morning," said Antoine to Dutocq, laughing. + +"So are you, Antoine," answered Dutocq; "you see, the newspapers do come +earlier than you let us have them at the office." + +"They did to-day, by chance," replied Antoine, not disconcerted; "they +never come two days together at the same hour." + +The two nephews looked at each other as if to say, in admiration of +their uncle, "What cheek he has!" + +"Though I make two sous by all his breakfasts," muttered Antoine, as he +heard Monsieur Dutocq close the office door, "I'd give them up to get +that man out of our division." + +"Ah, Monsieur Sebastien, you are not the first here to-day," said +Antoine, a quarter of an hour later, to the supernumerary. + +"Who is here?" asked the poor lad, turning pale. + +"Monsieur Dutocq," answered Laurent. + +Virgin natures have, beyond all others, the inexplicable gift of +second-sight, the reason of which lies perhaps in the purity of their +nervous systems, which are, as it were, brand-new. Sebastien had long +guessed Dutocq's hatred to his revered Rabourdin. So that when Laurent +uttered his name a dreadful presentiment took possession of the lad's +mind, and crying out, "I feared it!" he flew like an arrow into the +corridor. + +"There is going to be a row in the division," said Antoine, shaking his +white head as he put on his livery. "It is very certain that Monsieur le +baron is off to his account. Yes, Madame Gruget, the nurse, told me he +couldn't live through the day. What a stir there'll be! oh! won't there! +Go along, you fellows, and see if the stoves are drawing properly. +Heavens and earth! our world is coming down about our ears." + +"That poor young one," said Laurent, "had a sort of sunstroke when he +heard that Jesuit of a Dutocq had got here before him." + +"I have told him a dozen times,--for after all one ought to tell the +truth to an honest clerk, and what I call an honest clerk is one like +that little fellow who gives us 'recta' his ten francs on New-Year's +day,--I have said to him again and again: The more you work the more +they'll make you work, and they won't promote you. He doesn't listen to +me; he tires himself out staying here till five o'clock, an hour after +all the others have gone. Folly! he'll never get on that way! The proof +is that not a word has been said about giving him an appointment, though +he has been here two years. It's a shame! it makes my blood boil." + +"Monsieur Rabourdin is very fond of Monsieur Sebastien," said Laurent. + +"But Monsieur Rabourdin isn't a minister," retorted Antoine; "it will +be a hot day when that happens, and the hens will have teeth; he is +too--but mum! When I think that I carry salaries to those humbugs who +stay away and do as they please, while that poor little La Roche works +himself to death, I ask myself if God ever thinks of the civil service. +And what do they give you, these pets of Monsieur le marechal and +Monsieur le duc? 'Thank you, my dear Antoine, thank you,' with a +gracious nod! Pack of sluggards! go to work, or you'll bring another +revolution about your ears. Didn't see such goings-on under Monsieur +Robert Lindet. I know, for I served my apprenticeship under Robert +Lindet. The clerks had to work in his day! You ought to have seen how +they scratched paper here till midnight; why, the stoves went out +and nobody noticed it. It was all because the guillotine was there! +now-a-days they only mark 'em when they come in late!" + +"Uncle Antoine," said Gabriel, "as you are so talkative this morning, +just tell us what you think a clerk really ought to be." + +"A government clerk," replied Antoine, gravely, "is a man who sits in a +government office and writes. But there, there, what am I talking about? +Without the clerks, where should we be, I'd like to know? Go along +and look after your stoves and mind you never say harm of a government +clerk, you fellows. Gabriel, the stove in the large office draws like +the devil; you must turn the damper." + +Antoine stationed himself at a corner of the landing whence he could see +all the officials as they entered the porte-cochere; he knew every one +at the ministry, and watched their behavior, observing narrowly the +contrasts in their dress and appearance. + +The first to arrive after Sebastien was a clerk of deeds in Rabourdin's +office named Phellion, a respectable family-man. To the influence of his +chief he owed a half-scholarship for each of his two sons in the College +Henri IV.; while his daughter was being educated gratis at a boarding +school where his wife gave music lessons and he himself a course of +history and one of geography in the evenings. He was about forty-five +years of age, sergeant-major of his company in the National Guard, very +compassionate in feeling and words, but wholly unable to give away +a penny. Proud of his post, however, and satisfied with his lot, he +applied himself faithfully to serve the government, believed he was +useful to his country, and boasted of his indifference to politics, +knowing none but those of the men in power. Monsieur Rabourdin pleased +him highly whenever he asked him to stay half an hour longer to finish +a piece of work. On such occasions he would say, when he reached home, +"Public affairs detained me; when a man belongs to the government he is +no longer master of himself." He compiled books of questions and answers +on various studies for the use of young ladies in boarding-schools. +These little "solid treatises," as he called them, were sold at +the University library under the name of "Historical and Geographic +Catechisms." Feeling himself in duty bound to offer a copy of each +volume, bound in red morocco, to Monsieur Rabourdin, he always came in +full dress to present them,--breeches and silk stockings, and shoes +with gold buckles. Monsieur Phellion received his friends on Thursday +evenings, on which occasions the company played bouillote, at five sous +a game, and were regaled with cakes and beer. He had never yet dared +to invite Monsieur Rabourdin to honor him with his presence, though he +would have regarded such an event as the most distinguished of his life. +He said if he could leave one of his sons following in the steps of +Monsieur Rabourdin he should die the happiest father in the world. + +One of his greatest pleasures was to explore the environs of Paris, +which he did with a map. He knew every inch of Arcueil, Bievre, +Fontenay-aux-Roses, and Aulnay, so famous as the resort of great +writers, and hoped in time to know the whole western side of the country +around Paris. He intended to put his eldest son into a government office +and his second into the Ecole Polytechnique. He often said to the elder, +"When you have the honor to be a government clerk"; though he suspected +him of a preference for the exact sciences and did his best to repress +it, mentally resolved to abandon the lad to his own devices if he +persisted. When Rabourdin sent for him to come down and receive +instructions about some particular piece of work, Phellion gave all his +mind to it,--listening to every word the chief said, as a dilettante +listens to an air at the Opera. Silent in the office, with his feet in +the air resting on a wooden desk, and never moving them, he studied his +task conscientiously. His official letters were written with the utmost +gravity, and transmitted the commands of the minister in solemn phrases. +Monsieur Phellion's face was that of a pensive ram, with little color +and pitted by the small-pox; the lips were thick and the lower one +pendent; the eyes light-blue, and his figure above the common height. +Neat and clean as a master of history and geography in a young ladies' +school ought to be, he wore fine linen, a pleated shirt-frill, a black +cashmere waistcoat, left open and showing a pair of braces embroidered +by his daughter, a diamond in the bosom of his shirt, a black coat, +and blue trousers. In winter he added a nut-colored box-coat with +three capes, and carried a loaded stick, necessitated, he said, by the +profound solitude of the quarter in which he lived. He had given up +taking snuff, and referred to this reform as a striking example of the +empire a man could exercise over himself. Monsieur Phellion came slowly +up the stairs, for he was afraid of asthma, having what he called an +"adipose chest." He saluted Antoine with dignity. + +The next to follow was a copying-clerk, who presented a strange contrast +to the virtuous Phellion. Vimeux was a young man of twenty-five, with +a salary of fifteen hundred francs, well-made and graceful, with a +romantic face, and eyes, hair, beard, and eyebrows as black as jet, fine +teeth, charming hands, and wearing a moustache so carefully trimmed +that he seemed to have made it the business and occupation of his life. +Vimeux had such aptitude for work that he despatched it much quicker +than any of the other clerks. "He has a gift, that young man!" Phellion +said of him when he saw him cross his legs and have nothing to do for +the rest of the day, having got through his appointed task; "and see +what a little dandy he is!" Vimeux breakfasted on a roll and a glass +of water, dined for twenty sous at Katcomb's, and lodged in a furnished +room, for which he paid twelve francs a month. His happiness, his sole +pleasure in life, was dress. He ruined himself in miraculous waistcoats, +in trousers that were tight, half-tight, pleated, or embroidered; in +superfine boots, well-made coats which outlined his elegant figure; in +bewitching collars, spotless gloves, and immaculate hats. A ring with a +coat of arms adorned his hand, outside his glove, from which dangled a +handsome cane; with these accessories he endeavoured to assume the air +and manner of a wealthy young man. After the office closed he appeared +in the great walk of the Tuileries, with a tooth-pick in his mouth, as +though he were a millionaire who had just dined. Always on the +lookout for a woman,--an Englishwoman, a foreigner of some kind, or +a widow,--who might fall in love with him, he practised the art of +twirling his cane and of flinging the sort of glance which Bixiou told +him was American. He smiled to show his fine teeth; he wore no socks +under his boots, but he had his hair curled every day. Vimeux was +prepared, in accordance with fixed principles, to marry a hunch-back +with six thousand a year, or a woman of forty-five at eight thousand, or +an Englishwoman for half that sum. Phellion, who delighted in his +neat hand-writing, and was full of compassion for the fellow, read him +lectures on the duty of giving lessons in penmanship,--an honorable +career, he said, which would ameliorate existence and even render +it agreeable; he promised him a situation in a young ladies' +boarding-school. But Vimeux's head was so full of his own idea that +no human being could prevent him from having faith in his star. He +continued to lay himself out, like a salmon at a fishmonger's, in spite +of his empty stomach and the fact that he had fruitlessly exhibited his +enormous moustache and his fine clothes for over three years. As he owed +Antoine more than thirty francs for his breakfasts, he lowered his eyes +every time he passed him; and yet he never failed at midday to ask the +man to buy him a roll. + +After trying to get a few reasonable ideas into this foolish head, +Rabourdin had finally given up the attempt as hopeless. Adolphe (his +family name was Adolphe) had lately economized on dinners and lived +entirely on bread and water, to buy a pair of spurs and a riding-whip. +Jokes at the expense of this starving Amadis were made only in the +spirit of mischievous fun which creates vaudevilles, for he was really a +kind-hearted fellow and a good comrade, who harmed no one but himself. +A standing joke in the two bureaus was the question whether he wore +corsets, and bets depended on it. Vimeux was originally appointed to +Baudoyer's bureau, but he manoeuvred to get himself transferred to +Rabourdin's, on account of Baudoyer's extreme severity in relation to +what were called "the English,"--a name given by the government clerks +to their creditors. "English day" means the day on which the government +offices are thrown open to the public. Certain then of finding their +delinquent debtors, the creditors swarm in and torment them, asking +when they intend to pay, and threatening to attach their salaries. The +implacable Baudoyer compelled the clerks to remain at their desks and +endure this torture. "It was their place not to make debts," he said; +and he considered his severity as a duty which he owed to the public +weal. Rabourdin, on the contrary, protected the clerks against their +creditors, and turned the latter away, saying that the government +bureaus were open for public business, not private. Much ridicule +pursued Vimeux in both bureaus when the clank of his spurs resounded in +the corridors and on the staircases. The wag of the ministry, Bixiou, +sent round a paper, headed by a caricature of his victim on a pasteboard +horse, asking for subscriptions to buy him a live charger. Monsieur +Baudoyer was down for a bale of hay taken from his own forage allowance, +and each of the clerks wrote his little epigram; Vimeux himself, +good-natured fellow that he was, subscribed under the name of "Miss +Fairfax." + +Handsome clerks of the Vimeux style have their salaries on which to +live, and their good looks by which to make their fortune. Devoted to +masked balls during the carnival, they seek their luck there, though it +often escapes them. Many end the weary round by marrying milliners, or +old women,--sometimes, however, young ones who are charmed with their +handsome persons, and with whom they set up a romance illustrated with +stupid love letters, which, nevertheless, seem to answer their purpose. + +Bixiou (pronounce it Bisiou) was a draughtsman, who ridiculed Dutocq +as readily as he did Rabourdin, whom he nicknamed "the virtuous woman." +Without doubt the cleverest man in the division or even in the ministry +(but clever after the fashion of a monkey, without aim or sequence), +Bixiou was so essentially useful to Baudoyer and Godard that they upheld +and protected him in spite of his misconduct; for he did their work when +they were incapable of doing it for themselves. Bixiou wanted either +Godard's or du Bruel's place as under-head-clerk, but his conduct +interfered with his promotion. Sometimes he sneered at the public +service; this was usually after he had made some happy hit, such as the +publication of portraits in the famous Fualdes case (for which he drew +faces hap-hazard), or his sketch of the debate on the Castaing affair. +At other times, when possessed with a desire to get on, he really +applied himself to work, though he would soon leave off to write a +vaudeville, which was never finished. A thorough egoist, a spendthrift +and a miser in one,--that is to say, spending his money solely on +himself,--sharp, aggressive, and indiscreet, he did mischief for +mischief's sake; above all, he attacked the weak, respected nothing and +believed in nothing, neither in France, nor in God, nor in art, nor +in the Greeks, nor in the Turks, nor in the monarchy,--insulting and +disparaging everything that he could not comprehend. He was the first +to paint a black cap on Charles X.'s head on the five-franc coins. He +mimicked Dr. Gall when lecturing, till he made the most starched of +diplomatists burst their buttons. Famous for his practical jokes, he +varied them with such elaborate care that he always obtained a victim. +His great secret in this was the power of guessing the inmost wishes of +others; he knew the way to many a castle in the air, to the dreams about +which a man may be fooled because he wants to be; and he made such men +sit to him for hours. + +Thus it happened that this close observer, who could display unrivalled +tact in developing a joke or driving home a sarcasm, was unable to use +the same power to make men further his fortunes and promote him. The +person he most liked to annoy was young La Billardiere, his nightmare, +his detestation, whom he was nevertheless constantly wheedling so as +the better to torment him on his weakest side. He wrote him love letters +signed "Comtesse de M----" or "Marquise de B--"; took him to the Opera +on gala days and presented him to some grisette under the clock, after +calling everybody's attention to the young fool. He allied himself with +Dutocq (whom he regarded as a solemn juggler) in his hatred to Rabourdin +and his praise of Baudoyer, and did his best to support him. Jean-Jaques +Bixiou was the grandson of a Parisian grocer. His father, who died +a colonel, left him to the care of his grandmother, who married her +head-clerk, named Descoings, after the death of her first husband, and +died in 1822. Finding himself without prospects on leaving college, he +attempted painting, but in spite of his intimacy with Joseph Bridau, +his life-long friend, he abandoned art to take up caricature, vignette +designing, and drawing for books, which twenty years later went by the +name of "illustration." The influence of the Ducs de Maufrigneuse and +de Rhetore, whom he knew in the society of actresses, procured him his +employment under government in 1819. On good terms with des Lupeaulx, +with whom in society he stood on an equality, and intimate with du +Bruel, he was a living proof of Rabourdin's theory as to the steady +deterioration of the administrative hierarchy in Paris through the +personal importance which a government official may acquire outside of +a government office. Short in stature but well-formed, with a delicate +face remarkable for its vague likeness to Napoleon's, thin lips, a +straight chin, chestnut whiskers, twenty-seven years old, fair-skinned, +with a piercing voice and sparkling eye,--such was Bixiou; a man, all +sense and all wit, who abandoned himself to a mad pursuit of pleasure of +every description, which threw him into a constant round of dissipation. +Hunter of grisettes, smoker, jester, diner-out and frequenter of +supper-parties, always tuned to the highest pitch, shining equally in +the greenroom and at the balls given among the grisettes of the Allee +des Veuves, he was just as surprisingly entertaining at table as at a +picnic, as gay and lively at midnight on the streets as in the morning +when he jumped out of bed, and yet at heart gloomy and melancholy, like +most of the great comic players. + +Launched into the world of actors and actresses, writers, artists, and +certain women of uncertain means, he lived well, went to the theatre +without paying, gambled at Frascati, and often won. Artist by nature and +really profound, though by flashes only, he swayed to and fro in life +like a swing, without thinking or caring of a time when the cord would +break. The liveliness of his wit and the prodigal flow of his ideas +made him acceptable to all persons who took pleasure in the lights of +intellect; but none of his friends liked him. Incapable of checking a +witty saying, he would scarify his two neighbors before a dinner was +half over. In spite of his skin-deep gayety, a secret dissatisfaction +with his social position could be detected in his speech; he aspired +to something better, but the fatal demon hiding in his wit hindered +him from acquiring the gravity which imposes on fools. He lived on the +second floor of a house in the rue de Ponthieu, where he had three rooms +delivered over to the untidiness of a bachelor's establishment, in fact, +a regular bivouac. He often talked of leaving France and seeking his +fortune in America. No wizard could foretell the future of this +young man in whom all talents were incomplete; who was incapable of +perseverance, intoxicated with pleasure, and who acted on the belief +that the world ended on the morrow. + +In the matter of dress Bixiou had the merit of never being ridiculous; +he was perhaps the only official of the ministry whose dress did not +lead outsiders to say, "That man is a government clerk!" He wore elegant +boots with black trousers strapped under them, a fancy waistcoat, +a becoming blue coat, collars that were the never-ending gift of +grisettes, one of Bandoni's hats, and a pair of dark-colored kid gloves. +His walk and bearing, cavalier and simple both, were not without grace. +He knew all this, and when des Lupeaulx summoned him for a piece +of impertinence said and done about Monsieur de la Billardiere and +threatened him with dismissal, Bixiou replied, "You will take me back +because my clothes do credit to the ministry"; and des Lupeaulx, +unable to keep from laughing, let the matter pass. The most harmless of +Bixiou's jokes perpetrated among the clerks was the one he played off +upon Godard, presenting him with a butterfly just brought from China, +which the worthy man keeps in his collection and exhibits to this day, +blissfully unconscious that it is only painted paper. Bixiou had the +patience to work up the little masterpiece for the sole purpose of +hoaxing his superior. + +The devil always puts a martyr near a Bixiou. Baudoyer's bureau held the +martyr, a poor copying-clerk twenty-two years of age, with a salary of +fifteen hundred francs, named Auguste-Jean-Francois Minard. Minard had +married for love the daughter of a porter, an artificial-flower maker +employed by Mademoiselle Godard. Zelie Lorrain, a pupil, in the first +place, of the Conservatoire, then by turns a danseuse, a singer, and an +actress, had thought of doing as so many of the working-women do; +but the fear of consequences kept her from vice. She was floating +undecidedly along, when Minard appeared upon the scene with a definite +proposal of marriage. Zelie earned five hundred francs a year, Minard +had fifteen hundred. Believing that they could live on two thousand, +they married without settlements, and started with the utmost economy. +They went to live, like dove-turtles, near the barriere de Courcelles, +in a little apartment at three hundred francs a year, with white cotton +curtains to the windows, a Scotch paper costing fifteen sous a roll on +the walls, brick floors well polished, walnut furniture in the parlor, +and a tiny kitchen that was very clean. Zelie nursed her children +herself when they came, cooked, made her flowers, and kept the +house. There was something very touching in this happy and laborious +mediocrity. Feeling that Minard truly loved her, Zelie loved him. Love +begets love,--it is the abyssus abyssum of the Bible. The poor man +left his bed in the morning before his wife was up, that he might fetch +provisions. He carried the flowers she had finished, on his way to the +bureau, and bought her materials on his way back; then, while waiting +for dinner, he stamped out her leaves, trimmed the twigs, or rubbed +her colors. Small, slim, and wiry, with crisp red hair, eyes of a light +yellow, a skin of dazzling fairness, though blotched with red, the man +had a sturdy courage that made no show. He knew the science of writing +quite as well as Vimeux. At the office he kept in the background, +doing his allotted task with the collected air of a man who thinks and +suffers. His white eyelashes and lack of eyebrows induced the relentless +Bixiou to name him "the white rabbit." Minard--the Rabourdin of a +lower sphere--was filled with the desire of placing his Zelie in better +circumstances, and his mind searched the ocean of the wants of luxury in +hopes of finding an idea, of making some discovery or some improvement +which would bring him a rapid fortune. His apparent dulness was really +caused by the continual tension of his mind; he went over the history +of Cephalic Oils and the Paste of Sultans, lucifer matches and +portable gas, jointed sockets for hydrostatic lamps,--in short, all the +infinitely little inventions of material civilization which pay so well. +He bore Bixiou's jests as a busy man bears the buzzing of an insect; he +was not even annoyed by them. In spite of his cleverness, Bixiou never +perceived the profound contempt which Minard felt for him. Minard never +dreamed of quarrelling, however,--regarding it as a loss of time. After +a while his composure tired out his tormentor. He always breakfasted +with his wife, and ate nothing at the office. Once a month he took Zelie +to the theatre, with tickets bestowed by du Bruel or Bixiou; for Bixiou +was capable of anything, even of doing a kindness. Monsieur and Madame +Minard paid their visits in person on New-Year's day. Those who saw +them often asked how it was that a woman could keep her husband in good +clothes, wear a Leghorn bonnet with flowers, embroidered muslin dresses, +silk mantles, prunella boots, handsome fichus, a Chinese parasol, +and drive home in a hackney-coach, and yet be virtuous; while Madame +Colleville and other "ladies" of her kind could scarcely make ends meet, +though they had double Madame Minard's means. + +In the two bureaus were two clerks so devoted to each other that their +friendship became the butt of all the rest. He of the bureau Baudoyer, +named Colleville, was chief-clerk, and would have been head of the +bureau long before if the Restoration had never happened. His wife was +as clever in her way as Madame Rabourdin in hers. Colleville, who was +son of a first violin at the opera, fell in love with the daughter of a +celebrated danseuse. Flavie Minoret, one of those capable and charming +Parisian women who know how to make their husbands happy and yet +preserve their own liberty, made the Colleville home a rendezvous for +all our best artists and orators. Colleville's humble position under +government was forgotten there. Flavie's conduct gave such food for +gossip, however, that Madame Rabourdin had declined all her invitations. +The friend in Rabourdin's bureau to whom Colleville was so attached was +named Thuillier. All who knew one knew the other. Thuillier, called "the +handsome Thuillier," an ex-Lothario, led as idle a life as Colleville +led a busy one. Colleville, government official in the mornings and +first clarionet at the Opera-Comique at night, worked hard to maintain +his family, though he was not without influential friends. He was looked +upon as a very shrewd man,--all the more, perhaps, because he hid his +ambitions under a show of indifference. Apparently content with his lot +and liking work, he found every one, even the chiefs, ready to protect +his brave career. During the last few weeks Madame Colleville had made +an evident change in the household, and seemed to be taking to piety. +This gave rise to a vague report in the bureaus that she thought of +securing some more powerful influence than that of Francois Keller, the +famous orator, who had been one of her chief adorers, but who, so far, +had failed to obtain a better place for her husband. Flavie had, about +this time--and it was one of her mistakes--turned for help to des +Lupeaulx. + +Colleville had a passion for reading the horoscopes of famous men in +the anagram of their names. He passed whole months in decomposing +and recomposing words and fitting them to new meanings. "Un Corse la +finira," found within the words, "Revolution Francaise"; "Eh, c'est +large nez," in "Charles Genest," an abbe at the court of Louis XIV., +whose huge nose is recorded by Saint-Simon as the delight of the Duc de +Bourgogne (the exigencies of this last anagram required the substitution +of a z for an s),--were a never-ending marvel to Colleville. Raising +the anagram to the height of a science, he declared that the destiny of +every man was written in the words or phrase given by the transposition +of the letters of his names and titles; and his patriotism struggled +hard to suppress the fact--signal evidence for his theory--that in +Horatio Nelson, "honor est a Nilo." Ever since the accession of Charles +X., he had bestowed much thought on the king's anagram. Thuillier, who +was fond of making puns, declared that an anagram was nothing more than +a pun on letters. The sight of Colleville, a man of real feeling, bound +almost indissolubly to Thuillier, the model of an egoist, presented a +difficult problem to the mind of an observer. The clerks in the offices +explained it by saying, "Thuillier is rich, and the Colleville household +costly." This friendship, however, consolidated by time, was based on +feelings and on facts which naturally explained it; an account of which +may be found elsewhere (see "Les Petits Bourgeois"). We may remark in +passing that though Madame Colleville was well known in the bureaus, the +existence of Madame Thuillier was almost unknown there. Colleville, +an active man, burdened with a family of children, was fat, round, and +jolly, whereas Thuillier, "the beau of the Empire" without apparent +anxieties and always at leisure, was slender and thin, with a livid face +and a melancholy air. "We never know," said Rabourdin, speaking of the +two men, "whether our friendships are born of likeness or of contrast." + +Unlike these Siamese twins, two other clerks, Chazelle and Paulmier, +were forever squabbling. One smoked, the other took snuff, and the +merits of their respective use of tobacco were the origin of ceaseless +disputes. Chazelle's home, which was tyrannized over by a wife, +furnished a subject of endless ridicule to Paulmier; whereas Paulmier, +a bachelor, often half-starved like Vimeux, with ragged clothes and +half-concealed penury was a fruitful source of ridicule to Chazelle. +Both were beginning to show a protuberant stomach; Chazelle's, which was +round and projecting, had the impertinence, so Bixiou said, to enter the +room first; Paulmier's corporation spread to right and left. A favorite +amusement with Bixiou was to measure them quarterly. The two clerks, by +dint of quarrelling over the details of their lives, and washing much of +their dirty linen at the office, had obtained the disrepute which they +merited. "Do you take me for a Chazelle?" was a frequent saying that +served to end many an annoying discussion. + +Monsieur Poiret junior, called "junior" to distinguish him from his +brother Monsieur Poiret senior (now living in the Maison Vanquer, where +Poiret junior sometimes dined, intending to end his days in the same +retreat), had spent thirty years in the Civil Service. Nature herself is +not so fixed and unvarying in her evolutions as was Poiret junior in all +the acts of his daily life; he always laid his things in precisely the +same place, put his pen in the same rack, sat down in his seat at the +same hour, warmed himself at the stove at the same moment of the day. +His sole vanity consisted in wearing an infallible watch, timed daily at +the Hotel de Ville as he passed it on his way to the office. From six +to eight o'clock in the morning he kept the books of a large shop in the +rue Saint-Antoine, and from six to eight o'clock in the evening those +of the Maison Camusot, in the rue des Bourdonnais. He thus earned three +thousand francs a year, counting his salary from the government. In a +few months his term of service would be up, when he would retire on a +pension; he therefore showed the utmost indifference to the political +intrigues of the bureaus. Like his elder brother, to whom retirement +from active service had proved a fatal blow, he would probably grow an +old man when he could no longer come from his home to the ministry, sit +in the same chair and copy a certain number of pages. Poiret's eyes were +dim, his glance weak and lifeless, his skin discolored and wrinkled, +gray in tone and speckled with bluish dots; his nose flat, his lips +drawn inward to the mouth, where a few defective teeth still lingered. +His gray hair, flattened to the head by the pressure of his hat, gave +him the look of an ecclesiastic,--a resemblance he would scarcely have +liked, for he hated priests and clergy, though he could give no reasons +for his anti-religious views. This antipathy, however, did not prevent +him from being extremely attached to whatever administration happened to +be in power. He never buttoned his old green coat, even on the coldest +days, and he always wore shoes with ties, and black trousers. + +No human life was ever lived so thoroughly by rule. Poiret kept all +his receipted bills, even the most trifling, and all his account-books, +wrapped in old shirts and put away according to their respective years +from the time of his entrance at the ministry. Rough copies of his +letters were dated and put away in a box, ticketed "My Correspondence." +He dined at the same restaurant (the Sucking Calf in the place du +Chatelet), and sat in the same place, which the waiters kept for him. He +never gave five minutes more time to the shop in the rue Saint Antoine +than justly belonged to it, and at half-past eight precisely he reached +the Cafe David, where he breakfasted and remained till eleven. There +he listened to political discussions, his arms crossed on his cane, his +chin in his right hand, never saying a word. The dame du comptoir, the +only woman to whom he ever spoke with pleasure, was the sole confidant +of the little events of his life, for his seat was close to her counter. +He played dominoes, the only game he was capable of understanding. When +his partners did not happen to be present, he usually went to sleep +with his back against the wainscot, holding a newspaper in his hand, the +wooden file resting on the marble of his table. He was interested in the +buildings going up in Paris, and spent his Sundays in walking about to +examine them. He was often heard to say, "I saw the Louvre emerge from +its rubbish; I saw the birth of the place du Chatelet, the quai aux +Fleurs and the Markets." He and his brother, both born at Troyes, were +sent in youth to serve their apprenticeship in a government office. +Their mother made herself notorious by misconduct, and the two brothers +had the grief of hearing of her death in the hospital at Troyes, +although they had frequently sent money for her support. This event led +them both not only to abjure marriage, but to feel a horror of children; +ill at ease with them, they feared them as others fear madmen, and +watched them with haggard eyes. + +Since the day when he first came to Paris Poiret junior had never gone +outside the city. He began at that time to keep a journal of his life, +in which he noted down all the striking events of his day. Du Bruel +told him that Lord Byron did the same thing. This likeness filled +Poiret junior with delight, and led him to buy the works of Lord Byron, +translated by Chastopalli, of which he did not understand a word. At the +office he was often seen in a melancholy attitude, as though absorbed in +thought, when in fact he was thinking of nothing at all. He did not know +a single person in the house where he lived, and always carried the keys +of his apartment about with him. On New-Year's day he went round and +left his own cards on all the clerks of the division. Bixiou took it +into his head on one of the hottest of dog-days to put a layer of lard +under the lining of a certain old hat which Poiret junior (he was, by +the bye, fifty-two years old) had worn for the last nine years. Bixiou, +who had never seen any other hat on Poiret's head, dreamed of it +and declared he tasted it in his food; he therefore resolved, in the +interests of his digestion, to relieve the bureau of the sight of that +amorphous old hat. Poiret junior left the office regularly at four +o'clock. As he walked along, the sun's rays reflected from the +pavements and walls produced a tropical heat; he felt that his head was +inundated,--he, who never perspired! Feeling that he was ill, or on the +point of being so, instead of going as usual to the Sucking Calf he went +home, drew out from his desk the journal of his life, and recorded the +fact in the following manner:-- + + "To-day, July 3, 1823, overtaken by extraordinary perspiration, a + sign, perhaps, of the sweating-sickness, a malady which prevails + in Champagne. I am about to consult Doctor Haudry. The disease + first appeared as I reached the highest part of the quai des + Ecoles." + +Suddenly, having taken off his hat, he became aware that the mysterious +sweat had some cause independent of his own person. He wiped his face, +examined the hat, and could find nothing, for he did not venture to take +out the lining. All this he noted in his journal:-- + + "Carried my hat to the Sieur Tournan, hat-maker in the rue + Saint-Martin, for the reason that I suspect some unknown cause for + this perspiration, which, in that case, might not be perspiration, + but, possibly, the effect of something lately added, or formerly + done, to my hat." + +Monsieur Tournan at once informed his customer of the presence of a +greasy substance, obtained by the trying-out of the fat of a pig or sow. +The next day Poiret appeared at the office with another hat, lent by +Monsieur Tournan while a new one was making; but he did not sleep that +night until he had added the following sentence to the preceding entries +in his journal: "It is asserted that my hat contained lard, the fat of a +pig." + +This inexplicable fact occupied the intellect of Poiret junior for the +space of two weeks; and he never knew how the phenomenon was produced. +The clerks told him tales of showers of frogs, and other dog-day +wonders, also the startling fact that an imprint of the head of Napoleon +had been found in the root of a young elm, with other eccentricities +of natural history. Vimeux informed him that one day his hat--his, +Vimeux's--had stained his forehead black, and that hat-makers were in +the habit of using drugs. After that Poiret paid many visits to Monsieur +Tournan to inquire into his methods of manufacture. + +In the Rabourdin bureau was a clerk who played the man of courage +and audacity, professed the opinions of the Left centre, and rebelled +against the tyrannies of Baudoyer as exercised upon what he called the +unhappy slaves of that office. His name was Fleury. He boldly subscribed +to an opposition newspaper, wore a gray hat with a broad brim, red bands +on his blue trousers, a blue waistcoat with gilt buttons, and a +surtout coat crossed over the breast like that of a quartermaster of +gendarmerie. Though unyielding in his opinions, he continued to be +employed in the service, all the while predicting a fatal end to a +government which persisted in upholding religion. He openly avowed his +sympathy for Napoleon, now that the death of that great man put an end +to the laws enacted against "the partisans of the usurper." Fleury, +ex-captain of a regiment of the line under the Emperor, a tall, dark, +handsome fellow, was now, in addition to his civil-service post, +box-keeper at the Cirque-Olympique. Bixiou never ventured on tormenting +Fleury, for the rough trooper, who was a good shot and clever at +fencing, seemed quite capable of extreme brutality if provoked. An +ardent subscriber to "Victoires et Conquetes," Fleury nevertheless +refused to pay his subscription, though he kept and read the copies, +alleging that they exceeded the number proposed in the prospectus. He +adored Monsieur Rabourdin, who had saved him from dismissal, and was +even heard to say that if any misfortune happened to the chief through +anybody's fault he would kill that person. Dutocq meanly courted Fleury +because he feared him. Fleury, crippled with debt, played many a trick +on his creditors. Expert in legal matters, he never signed a promissory +note; and had prudently attached his own salary under the names of +fictitious creditors, so that he was able to draw nearly the whole of it +himself. He played ecarte, was the life of evening parties, tossed off +glasses of champagne without wetting his lips, and knew all the songs of +Beranger by heart. He was proud of his full, sonorous voice. His three +great admirations were Napoleon, Bolivar, and Beranger. Foy, Lafitte, +and Casimir Delavigne he only esteemed. Fleury, as you will have guessed +already, was a Southerner, destined, no doubt, to become the responsible +editor of a liberal journal. + +Desroys, the mysterious clerk of the division, consorted with no one, +talked little, and hid his private life so carefully that no one knew +where he lived, nor who were his protectors, nor what were his means of +subsistence. Looking about them for the causes of this reserve, some +of his colleagues thought him a "carbonaro," others an Orleanist; there +were others again who doubted whether to call him a spy or a man of +solid merit. Desroys was, however, simple and solely the son of a +"Conventionel," who did not vote the king's death. Cold and prudent by +temperament, he had judged the world and ended by relying on no one but +himself. Republican in secret, an admirer of Paul-Louis Courier and a +friend of Michael Chrestien, he looked to time and public intelligence +to bring about the triumph of his opinions from end to end of Europe. +He dreamed of a new Germany and a new Italy. His heart swelled with that +dull, collective love which we must call humanitarianism, the eldest son +of deceased philanthropy, and which is to the divine catholic charity +what system is to art, or reasoning to deed. This conscientious puritan +of freedom, this apostle of an impossible equality, regretted keenly +that his poverty forced him to serve the government, and he made various +efforts to find a place elsewhere. Tall, lean, lanky, and solemn in +appearance, like a man who expects to be called some day to lay down his +life for a cause, he lived on a page of Volney, studied Saint-Just, and +employed himself on a vindication of Robespierre, whom he regarded as +the successor of Jesus Christ. + +The last of the individuals belonging to these bureaus who merits +a sketch here is the little La Billardiere. Having, to his great +misfortune, lost his mother, and being under the protection of the +minister, safe therefore from the tyrannies of Baudoyer, and received +in all the ministerial salons, he was nevertheless detested by every one +because of his impertinence and conceit. The two chiefs were polite +to him, but the clerks held him at arm's length and prevented all +companionship by means of the extreme and grotesque politeness which +they bestowed upon him. A pretty youth of twenty-two, tall and slender, +with the manners of an Englishman, a dandy in dress, curled and +perfumed, gloved and booted in the latest fashion, and twirling an +eyeglass, Benjamin de la Billardiere thought himself a charming fellow +and possessed all the vices of the world with none of its graces. He +was now looking forward impatiently to the death of his father, that +he might succeed to the title of baron. His cards were printed "le +Chevalier de la Billardiere" and on the wall of his office hung, in a +frame, his coat of arms (sable, two swords in saltire, on a chief azure +three mullets argent; with the motto; "Toujours fidele"). Possessed +with a mania for talking heraldry, he once asked the young Vicomte de +Portenduere why his arms were charged in a certain way, and drew down +upon himself the happy answer, "I did not make them." He talked of his +devotion to the monarchy and the attentions the Dauphine paid him. He +stood very well with des Lupeaulx, whom he thought his friend, and they +often breakfasted together. Bixiou posed as his mentor, and hoped to rid +the division and France of the young fool by tempting him to excesses, +and openly avowed that intention. + +Such were the principal figures of La Billardiere's division of the +ministry, where also were other clerks of less account, who resembled +more or less those that are represented here. It is difficult even for +an observer to decide from the aspect of these strange personalities +whether the goose-quill tribe were becoming idiots from the effects of +their employment or whether they entered the service because they were +natural born fools. Possibly the making of them lies at the door of +Nature and of the government both. Nature, to a civil-service clerk is, +in fact, the sphere of the office; his horizon is bounded on all +sides by green boxes; to him, atmospheric changes are the air of +the corridors, the masculine exhalations contained in rooms without +ventilators, the odor of paper, pens, and ink; the soil he treads is +a tiled pavement or a wooden floor, strewn with a curious litter and +moistened by the attendant's watering-pot; his sky is the ceiling toward +which he yawns; his element is dust. Several distinguished doctors have +remonstrated against the influence of this second nature, both savage +and civilized, on the moral being vegetating in those dreadful pens +called bureaus, where the sun seldom penetrates, where thoughts are tied +down to occupations like that of horses who turn a crank and who, poor +beasts, yawn distressingly and die quickly. Rabourdin was, therefore, +fully justified in seeking to reform their present condition, by +lessening their numbers and giving to each a larger salary and far +heavier work. Men are neither wearied nor bored when doing great things. +Under the present system government loses fully four hours out of the +nine which the clerks owe to the service,--hours wasted, as we shall +see, in conversations, in gossip, in disputes, and, above all, in +underhand intriguing. The reader must have haunted the bureaus of the +ministerial departments before he can realize how much their petty +and belittling life resembles that of seminaries. Wherever men live +collectively this likeness is obvious; in regiments, in law-courts, you +will find the elements of the school on a smaller or larger scale. The +government clerks, forced to be together for nine hours of the day, +looked upon their office as a sort of class-room where they had tasks to +perform, where the head of the bureau was no other than a schoolmaster, +and where the gratuities bestowed took the place of prizes given out to +proteges,--a place, moreover, where they teased and hated each other, +and yet felt a certain comradeship, colder than that of a regiment, +which itself is less hearty than that of seminaries. As a man advances +in life he grows more selfish; egoism develops, and relaxes all the +secondary bonds of affection. A government office is, in short, a +microcosm of society, with its oddities and hatreds, its envy and its +cupidity, its determination to push on, no matter who goes under, its +frivolous gossip which gives so many wounds, and its perpetual spying. + + + + +CHAPTER V. THE MACHINE IN MOTION + + +At this moment the division of Monsieur de la Billardiere was in a state +of unusual excitement, resulting very naturally from the event which was +about to happen; for heads of divisions do not die every day, and +there is no insurance office where the chances of life and death are +calculated with more sagacity than in a government bureau. Self-interest +stifles all compassion, as it does in children, but the government +service adds hypocrisy to boot. + +The clerks of the bureau Baudoyer arrived at eight o'clock in the +morning, whereas those of the bureau Rabourdin seldom appeared till +nine,--a circumstance which did not prevent the work in the latter +office from being more rapidly dispatched than that of the former. +Dutocq had important reasons for coming early on this particular +morning. The previous evening he had furtively entered the study +where Sebastien was at work, and had seen him copying some papers +for Rabourdin; he concealed himself until he saw Sebastien leave the +premises without taking any papers away with him. Certain, therefore, +of finding the rather voluminous memorandum which he had seen, together +with its copy, in some corner of the study, he searched through the +boxes one after another until he finally came upon the fatal list. +He carried it in hot haste to an autograph-printing house, where he +obtained two pressed copies of the memorandum, showing, of course, +Rabourdin's own writing. Anxious not to arouse suspicion, he had +gone very early to the office and replaced both the memorandum and +Sebastien's copy in the box from which he had taken them. Sebastien, +who was kept up till after midnight at Madame Rabourdin's party, was, in +spite of his desire to get to the office early, preceded by the spirit +of hatred. Hatred lived in the rue Saint-Louis-Saint-Honore, whereas +love and devotion lived far-off in the rue du Roi-Dore in the Marais. +This slight delay was destined to affect Rabourdin's whole career. + +Sebastien opened his box eagerly, found the memorandum and his own +unfinished copy all in order, and locked them at once into the desk as +Rabourdin had directed. The mornings are dark in these offices towards +the end of December, sometimes indeed the lamps are lit till after ten +o'clock; consequently Sebastien did not happen to notice the pressure +of the copying-machine upon the paper. But when, about half-past nine +o'clock, Rabourdin looked at his memorandum he saw at once the effects +of the copying process, and all the more readily because he was then +considering whether these autographic presses could not be made to do +the work of copying clerks. + +"Did any one get to the office before you?" he asked. + +"Yes," replied Sebastien,--"Monsieur Dutocq." + +"Ah! well, he was punctual. Send Antoine to me." + +Too noble to distress Sebastien uselessly by blaming him for a +misfortune now beyond remedy, Rabourdin said no more. Antoine came. +Rabourdin asked if any clerk had remained at the office after four +o'clock the previous evening. The man replied that Monsieur Dutocq had +worked there later than Monsieur de la Roche, who was usually the last +to leave. Rabourdin dismissed him with a nod, and resumed the thread of +his reflections. + +"Twice I have prevented his dismissal," he said to himself, "and this is +my reward." + +This morning was to Rabourdin like the solemn hour in which great +commanders decide upon a battle and weigh all chances. Knowing the +spirit of official life better than any one, he well knew that it would +never pardon, any more than a school or the galleys or the army pardon, +what looked like espionage or tale-bearing. A man capable of informing +against his comrades is disgraced, dishonored, despised; the ministers +in such a case would disavow their own agents. Nothing was left to an +official so placed but to send in his resignation and leave Paris; his +honor is permanently stained; explanations are of no avail; no one will +either ask for them or listen to them. A minister may well do the same +thing and be thought a great man, able to choose the right instruments; +but a mere subordinate will be judged as a spy, no matter what may +be his motives. While justly measuring the folly of such judgment, +Rabourdin knew that it was all-powerful; and he knew, too, that he was +crushed. More surprised than overwhelmed, he now sought for the best +course to follow under the circumstances; and with such thoughts in his +mind he was necessarily aloof from the excitement caused in the division +by the death of Monsieur de la Billardiere; in fact he did not hear of +it until young La Briere, who was able to appreciate his sterling value, +came to tell him. About ten o'clock, in the bureau Baudoyer, Bixiou +was relating the last moments of the life of the director to Minard, +Desroys, Monsieur Godard, whom he had called from his private office, +and Dutocq, who had rushed in with private motives of his own. +Colleville and Chazelle were absent. + +Bixiou [standing with his back to the stove and holding up the sole +of each boot alternately to dry at the open door]. "This morning, at +half-past seven, I went to inquire after our most worthy and respectable +director, knight of the order of Christ, et caetera, et caetera. Yes, +gentlemen, last night he was a being with twenty et caeteras, to-day he +is nothing, not even a government clerk. I asked all particulars of his +nurse. She told me that this morning at five o'clock he became uneasy +about the royal family. He asked for the names of all the clerks who had +called to inquire after him; and then he said: 'Fill my snuff-box, +give me the newspaper, bring my spectacles, and change my ribbon of the +Legion of honor,--it is very dirty.' I suppose you know he always wore +his orders in bed. He was fully conscious, retained his senses and all +his usual ideas. But, presto! ten minutes later the water rose, rose, +rose and flooded his chest; he knew he was dying for he felt the cysts +break. At that fatal moment he gave evident proof of his powerful mind +and vast intellect. Ah, we never rightly appreciated him! We used to +laugh at him and call him a booby--didn't you, Monsieur Godard?" + +Godard. "I? I always rated Monsieur de la Billardiere's talents higher +than the rest of you." + +Bixiou. "You and he could understand each other!" + +Godard. "He wasn't a bad man; he never harmed any one." + +Bixiou. "To do harm you must do something, and he never did anything. If +it wasn't you who said he was a dolt, it must have been Minard." + +Minard [shrugging his shoulders]. "I!" + +Bixiou. "Well, then it was you, Dutocq!" [Dutocq made a vehement gesture +of denial.] "Oh! very good, then it was nobody. Every one in this office +knew his intellect was herculean. Well, you were right. He ended, as I +have said, like the great man that he was." + +Desroys [impatiently]. "Pray what did he do that was so great? he had +the weakness to confess himself." + +Bixiou. "Yes, monsieur, he received the holy sacraments. But do you +know what he did in order to receive them? He put on his uniform as +gentleman-in-ordinary of the Bedchamber, with all his orders, and had +himself powdered; they tied his queue (that poor queue!) with a fresh +ribbon. Now I say that none but a man of remarkable character would have +his queue tied with a fresh ribbon just as he was dying. There are eight +of us here, and I don't believe one among us is capable of such an act. +But that's not all; he said,--for you know all celebrated men make a +dying speech; he said,--stop now, what did he say? Ah! he said, 'I must +attire myself to meet the King of Heaven,--I, who have so often dressed +in my best for audience with the kings of earth.' That's how Monsieur de +la Billardiere departed this life. He took upon himself to justify the +saying of Pythagoras, 'No man is known until he dies.'" + +Colleville [rushing in]. "Gentlemen, great news!" + +All. "We know it." + +Colleville. "I defy you to know it! I have been hunting for it ever +since the accession of His Majesty to the thrones of France and of +Navarre. Last night I succeeded! but with what labor! Madame Colleville +asked me what was the matter." + +Dutocq. "Do you think we have time to bother ourselves with your +intolerable anagrams when the worthy Monsieur de la Billardiere has just +expired?" + +Colleville. "That's Bixiou's nonsense! I have just come from Monsieur +de la Billardiere's; he is still living, though they expect him to die +soon." [Godard, indignant at the hoax, goes off grumbling.] "Gentlemen! +you would never guess what extraordinary events are revealed by the +anagram of this sacramental sentence" [he pulls out a piece of paper +and reads], "Charles dix, par la grace de Dieu, roi de France et de +Navarre." + +Godard [re-entering]. "Tell what it is at once, and don't keep people +waiting." + +Colleville [triumphantly unfolding the rest of the paper]. "Listen! + + "A H. V. il cedera; + De S. C. l. d. partira; + Eh nauf errera, + Decide a Gorix. + +"Every letter is there!" [He repeats it.] "A Henry cinq cedera (his +crown of course); de Saint-Cloud partira; en nauf (that's an old French +word for skiff, vessel, felucca, corvette, anything you like) errera--" + +Dutocq. "What a tissue of absurdities! How can the King cede his crown +to Henry V., who, according to your nonsense, must be his grandson, +when Monseigneur le Dauphin is living. Are you prophesying the Dauphin's +death?" + +Bixiou. "What's Gorix, pray?--the name of a cat?" + +Colleville [provoked]. "It is the archaeological and lapidarial +abbreviation of the name of a town, my good friend; I looked it out in +Malte-Brun: Goritz, in Latin Gorixia, situated in Bohemia or Hungary, or +it may be Austria--" + +Bixiou. "Tyrol, the Basque provinces, or South America. Why don't you +set it all to music and play it on the clarionet?" + +Godard [shrugging his shoulders and departing]. "What utter nonsense!" + +Colleville. "Nonsense! nonsense indeed! It is a pity you don't take the +trouble to study fatalism, the religion of the Emperor Napoleon." + +Godard [irritated at Colleville's tone]. "Monsieur Colleville, let me +tell you that Bonaparte may perhaps be styled Emperor by historians, +but it is extremely out of place to refer to him as such in a government +office." + +Bixiou [laughing]. "Get an anagram out of that, my dear fellow." + +Colleville [angrily]. "Let me tell you that if Napoleon Bonaparte had +studied the letters of his name on the 14th of April, 1814, he might +perhaps be Emperor still." + +Bixiou. "How do you make that out?" + +Colleville [solemnly]. "Napoleon Bonaparte.--No, appear not at Elba!" + +Dutocq. "You'll lose your place for talking such nonsense." + +Colleville. "If my place is taken from me, Francois Keller will make it +hot for your minister." [Dead silence.] "I'd have you to know, Master +Dutocq, that all known anagrams have actually come to pass. Look +here,--you, yourself,--don't you marry, for there's 'coqu' in your +name." + +Bixiou [interrupting]. "And d, t, for de-testable." + +Dutocq [without seeming angry]. "I don't care, as long as it is only in +my name. Why don't you anagrammatize, or whatever you call it, 'Xavier +Rabourdin, chef du bureau'?" + +Colleville. "Bless you, so I have!" + +Bixiou [mending his pen]. "And what did you make of it?" + +Colleville. "It comes out as follows: D'abord reva bureaux, E-u,--(you +catch the meaning? et eut--and had) E-u fin riche; which signifies that +after first belonging to the administration, he gave it up and got rich +elsewhere." [Repeats.] "D'abord reva bureaux, E-u fin riche." + +Dutocq. "That IS queer!" + +Bixiou. "Try Isidore Baudoyer." + +Colleville [mysteriously]. "I sha'n't tell the other anagrams to any one +but Thuillier." + +Bixiou. "I'll bet you a breakfast that I can tell that one myself." + +Colleville. "And I'll pay if you find it out." + +Bixiou. "Then I shall breakfast at your expense; but you won't be angry, +will you? Two such geniuses as you and I need never conflict. 'Isidore +Baudoyer' anagrams into 'Ris d'aboyeur d'oie.'" + +Colleville [petrified with amazement]. "You stole it from me!" + +Bixiou [with dignity]. "Monsieur Colleville, do me the honor to believe +that I am rich enough in absurdity not to steal my neighbor's nonsense." + +Baudoyer [entering with a bundle of papers in his hand]. "Gentlemen, I +request you to shout a little louder; you bring this office into such +high repute with the administration. My worthy coadjutor, Monsieur +Clergeot, did me the honor just now to come and ask a question, and he +heard the noise you are making" [passes into Monsieur Godard's room]. + +Bixiou [in a low voice]. "The watch-dog is very tame this morning; +there'll be a change of weather before night." + +Dutocq [whispering to Bixiou]. "I have something I want to say to you." + +Bixiou [fingering Dutocq's waistcoat]. "You've a pretty waistcoat, that +cost you nothing; is that what you want to say?" + +Dutocq. "Nothing, indeed! I never paid so dear for anything in my life. +That stuff cost six francs a yard in the best shop in the rue de la +Paix,--a fine dead stuff, the very thing for deep mourning." + +Bixiou. "You know about engravings and such things, my dear fellow, but +you are totally ignorant of the laws of etiquette. Well, no man can be +a universal genius! Silk is positively not admissible in deep mourning. +Don't you see I am wearing woollen? Monsieur Rabourdin, Monsieur +Baudoyer, and the minister are all in woollen; so is the faubourg +Saint-Germain. There's no one here but Minard who doesn't wear woollen; +he's afraid of being taken for a sheep. That's the reason why he didn't +put on mourning for Louis XVIII." + +[During this conversation Baudoyer is sitting by the fire in Godard's +room, and the two are conversing in a low voice.] + +Baudoyer. "Yes, the worthy man is dying. The two ministers are both with +him. My father-in-law has been notified of the event. If you want to do +me a signal service you will take a cab and go and let Madame Baudoyer +know what is happening; for Monsieur Saillard can't leave his desk, nor +I my office. Put yourself at my wife's orders; do whatever she wishes. +She has, I believe, some ideas of her own, and wants to take certain +steps simultaneously." [The two functionaries go out together.] + +Godard. "Monsieur Bixiou, I am obliged to leave the office for the rest +of the day. You will take my place." + +Baudoyer [to Bixiou, benignly]. "Consult me, if there is any necessity." + +Bixiou. "This time, La Billardiere is really dead." + +Dutocq [in Bixiou's ear]. "Come outside a minute." [The two go into the +corridor and gaze at each other like birds of ill-omen.] + +Dutocq [whispering]. "Listen. Now is the time for us to understand each +other and push our way. What would you say to your being made head of +the bureau, and I under you?" + +Bixiou [shrugging his shoulders]. "Come, come, don't talk nonsense!" + +Dutocq. "If Baudoyer gets La Billardiere's place Rabourdin won't stay +on where he is. Between ourselves, Baudoyer is so incapable that if du +Bruel and you don't help him he will certainly be dismissed in a couple +of months. If I know arithmetic that will give three empty places for us +to fill--" + +Bixiou. "Three places right under our noses, which will certainly +be given to some bloated favorite, some spy, some pious fraud,--to +Colleville perhaps, whose wife has ended where all pretty women end--in +piety." + +Dutocq. "No, to /you/, my dear fellow, if you will only, for once in +your life, use your wits logically." [He stopped as if to study the +effect of his adverb in Bixiou's face.] "Come, let us play fair." + +Bixiou [stolidly]. "Let me see your game." + +Dutocq. "I don't wish to be anything more than under-head-clerk. I know +myself perfectly well, and I know I haven't the ability, like you, to +be head of a bureau. Du Bruel can be director, and you the head of this +bureau; he will leave you his place as soon as he has made his pile; +and as for me, I shall swim with the tide comfortably, under your +protection, till I can retire on a pension." + +Bixiou. "Sly dog! but how to you expect to carry out a plan which +means forcing the minister's hand and ejecting a man of talent? Between +ourselves, Rabourdin is the only man capable of taking charge of the +division, and I might say of the ministry. Do you know that they talk +of putting in over his head that solid lump of foolishness, that cube of +idiocy, Baudoyer?" + +Dutocq [consequentially]. "My dear fellow, I am in a position to rouse +the whole division against Rabourdin. You know how devoted Fleury is to +him? Well, I can make Fleury despise him." + +Bixiou. "Despised by Fleury!" + +Dutocq. "Not a soul will stand by Rabourdin; the clerks will go in a +body and complain of him to the minister,--not only in our division, but +in all the divisions--" + +Bixiou. "Forward, march! infantry, cavalry, artillery, and marines of +the guard! You rave, my good fellow! And I, what part am I to take in +the business?" + +Dutocq. "You are to make a cutting caricature,--sharp enough to kill a +man." + +Bixiou. "How much will you pay for it?" + +Dutocq. "A hundred francs." + +Bixiou [to himself]. "Then there is something in it." + +Dutocq [continuing]. "You must represent Rabourdin dressed as a butcher +(make it a good likeness), find analogies between a kitchen and a +bureau, put a skewer in his hand, draw portraits of the principal clerks +and stick their heads on fowls, put them in a monstrous coop labelled +'Civil Service executions'; make him cutting the throat of one, and +supposed to take the others in turn. You can have geese and ducks with +heads like ours,--you understand! Baudoyer, for instance, he'll make an +excellent turkey-buzzard." + +Bixiou. "Ris d'aboyeur d'oie!" [He has watched Dutocq carefully for some +time.] "Did you think of that yourself?" + +Dutocq. "Yes, I myself." + +Bixiou [to himself]. "Do evil feelings bring men to the same result as +talents?" [Aloud] "Well, I'll do it" [Dutocq makes a motion of delight] +"--when" [full stop] "--I know where I am and what I can rely on. If you +don't succeed I shall lose my place, and I must make a living. You are a +curious kind of innocent still, my dear colleague." + +Dutocq. "Well, you needn't make the lithograph till success is proved." + +Bixiou. "Why don't you come out and tell me the whole truth?" + +Dutocq. "I must first see how the land lays in the bureau; we will talk +about it later" [goes off]. + +Bixiou [alone in the corridor]. "That fish, for he's more a fish than +a bird, that Dutocq has a good idea in his head--I'm sure I don't know +where he stole it. If Baudoyer should succeed La Billardiere it would +be fun, more than fun--profit!" [Returns to the office.] "Gentlemen, I +announce glorious changes; papa La Billardiere is dead, really dead,--no +nonsense, word of honor! Godard is off on business for our excellent +chief Baudoyer, successor presumptive to the deceased." [Minard, +Desroys, and Colleville raise their heads in amazement; they all lay +down their pens, and Colleville blows his nose.] "Every one of us is +to be promoted! Colleville will be under-head-clerk at the very least. +Minard may have my place as chief clerk--why not? he is quite as dull as +I am. Hey, Minard, if you should get twenty-five hundred francs a-year +your little wife would be uncommonly pleased, and you could buy yourself +a pair of boots now and then." + +Colleville. "But you don't get twenty-five hundred francs." + +Bixiou. "Monsieur Dutocq gets that in Rabourdin's office; why shouldn't +I get it this year? Monsieur Baudoyer gets it." + +Colleville. "Only through the influence of Monsieur Saillard. No other +chief clerk gets that in any of the divisions." + +Paulmier. "Bah! Hasn't Monsieur Cochin three thousand? He succeeded +Monsieur Vavasseur, who served ten years under the Empire at four +thousand. His salary was dropped to three when the King first returned; +then to two thousand five hundred before Vavasseur died. But Monsieur +Cochin, who succeeded him, had influence enough to get the salary put +back to three thousand." + +Colleville. "Monsieur Cochin signs E. A. L. Cochin (he is named +Emile-Adolphe-Lucian), which, when anagrammed, gives Cochineal. +Now observe, he's a partner in a druggist's business in the rue des +Lombards, the Maison Matifat, which made its fortune by that identical +colonial product." + +Baudoyer [entering]. "Monsieur Chazelle, I see, is not here; you will be +good enough to say I asked for him, gentlemen." + +Bixiou [who had hastily stuck a hat on Chazelle's chair when he heard +Baudoyer's step]. "Excuse me, Monsieur, but Chazelle has gone to the +Rabourdins' to make an inquiry." + +Chazelle [entering with his hat on his head, and not seeing Baudoyer]. +"La Billardiere is done for, gentlemen! Rabourdin is head of the +division and Master of petitions; he hasn't stolen /his/ promotion, +that's very certain." + +Baudoyer [to Chazelle]. "You found that appointment in your second hat, +I presume" [points to the hat on the chair]. "This is the third time +within a month that you have come after nine o'clock. If you continue +the practice you will get on--elsewhere." [To Bixiou, who is reading the +newspaper.] "My dear Monsieur Bixiou, do pray leave the newspapers to +these gentlemen who are going to breakfast, and come into my office for +your orders for the day. I don't know what Monsieur Rabourdin wants with +Gabriel; he keeps him to do his private errands, I believe. I've rung +three times and can't get him." [Baudoyer and Bixiou retire into the +private office.] + +Chazelle. "Damned unlucky!" + +Paulmier [delighted to annoy Chazelle]. "Why didn't you look about when +you came into the room? You might have seen the elephant, and the hat +too; they are big enough to be visible." + +Chazelle [dismally]. "Disgusting business! I don't see why we should +be treated like slaves because the government gives us four francs and +sixty-five centimes a day." + +Fleury [entering]. "Down with Baudoyer! hurrah for Rabourdin!--that's +the cry in the division." + +Chazelle [getting more and more angry]. "Baudoyer can turn off me if +he likes, I sha'n't care. In Paris there are a thousand ways of earning +five francs a day; why, I could earn that at the Palais de Justice, +copying briefs for the lawyers." + +Paulmier [still prodding him]. "It is very easy to say that; but a +government place is a government place, and that plucky Colleville, who +works like a galley-slave outside of this office, and who could earn, +if he lost his appointment, more than his salary, prefers to keep his +place. Who the devil is fool enough to give up his expectations?" + +Chazelle [continuing his philippic]. "You may not be, but I am! We have +no chances at all. Time was when nothing was more encouraging than a +civil-service career. So many men were in the army that there were not +enough for the government work; the maimed and the halt and the sick +ones, like Paulmier, and the near-sighted ones, all had their chance of +a rapid promotion. But now, ever since the Chamber invented what they +called special training, and the rules and regulations for civil-service +examiners, we are worse off than common soldiers. The poorest places +are at the mercy of a thousand mischances because we are now ruled by a +thousand sovereigns." + +Bixiou [returning]. "Are you crazy, Chazelle? Where do you find a +thousand sovereigns?--not in your pocket, are they?" + +Chazelle. "Count them up. There are four hundred over there at the end +of the pont de la Concorde (so called because it leads to the scene +of perpetual discord between the Right and Left of the Chamber); three +hundred more at the end of the rue de Tournon. The court, which ought to +count for the other three hundred, has seven hundred parts less power +to get a man appointed to a place under government than the Emperor +Napoleon had." + +Fleury. "All of which signifies that in a country where there are three +powers you may bet a thousand to one that a government clerk who has no +influence but his own merits to advance him will remain in obscurity." + +Bixiou [looking alternately at Chazelle and Fleury]. "My sons, you have +yet to learn that in these days the worst state of life is the state of +belonging to the State." + +Fleury. "Because it has a constitutional government." + +Colleville. "Gentlemen, gentlemen! no politics!" + +Bixiou. "Fleury is right. Serving the State in these days is no longer +serving a prince who knew how to punish and reward. The State now is +/everybody/. Everybody of course cares for nobody. Serve everybody, and +you serve nobody. Nobody is interested in nobody; the government clerk +lives between two negations. The world has neither pity nor respect, +neither heart nor head; everybody forgets to-morrow the service of +yesterday. Now each one of you may be, like Monsieur Baudoyer, an +administrative genius, a Chateaubriand of reports, a Bossouet of +circulars, the Canalis of memorials, the gifted son of diplomatic +despatches; but I tell you there is a fatal law which interferes with +all administrative genius,--I mean the law of promotion by average. This +average is based on the statistics of promotion and the statistics +of mortality combined. It is very certain that on entering whichever +section of the Civil Service you please at the age of eighteen, you +can't get eighteen hundred francs a year till you reach the age of +thirty. Now there's no free and independent career in which, in +the course of twelve years, a young man who has gone through the +grammar-school, been vaccinated, is exempt from military service, and +possesses all his faculties (I don't mean transcendent ones) can't amass +a capital of forty-five thousand francs in centimes, which represents +a permanent income equal to our salaries, which are, after all, +precarious. In twelve years a grocer can earn enough to give him ten +thousand francs a year; a painter can daub a mile of canvas and be +decorated with the Legion of honor, or pose as a neglected genius. A +literary man becomes professor of something or other, or a journalist +at a hundred francs for a thousand lines; he writes 'feuilletons,' or +he gets into Saint-Pelagie for a brilliant article that offends the +Jesuits,--which of course is an immense benefit to him and makes him a +politician at once. Even a lazy man, who does nothing but make debts, +has time to marry a widow who pays them; a priest finds time to become a +bishop 'in partibus.' A sober, intelligent young fellow, who begins +with a small capital as a money-changer, soon buys a share in a broker's +business; and, to go even lower, a petty clerk becomes a notary, a +rag-picker lays by two or three thousand francs a year, and the poorest +workmen often become manufacturers; whereas, in the rotatory movement +of this present civilization, which mistakes perpetual division and +redivision for progress, an unhappy civil service clerk, like Chazelle +for instance, is forced to dine for twenty-two sous a meal, struggles +with his tailor and bootmaker, gets into debt, and is an absolute +nothing; worse than that, he becomes an idiot! Come, gentlemen, now's +the time to make a stand! Let us all give in our resignations! Fleury, +Chazelle, fling yourselves into other employments and become the great +men you really are." + +Chazelle [calmed down by Bixiou's allocution]. "No, I thank you" +[general laughter]. + +Bixiou. "You are wrong; in your situation I should try to get ahead of +the general-secretary." + +Chazelle [uneasily]. "What has he to do with me?" + +Bixiou. "You'll find out; do you suppose Baudoyer will overlook what +happened just now?" + +Fleury. "Another piece of Bixiou's spite! You've a queer fellow to deal +with in there. Now, Monsieur Rabourdin,--there's a man for you! He put +work on my table to-day that you couldn't get through within this office +in three days; well, he expects me to have it done by four o'clock +to-day. But he is not always at my heels to hinder me from talking to my +friends." + +Baudoyer [appearing at the door]. "Gentlemen, you will admit that if +you have the legal right to find fault with the chamber and the +administration you must at least do so elsewhere than in this office." +[To Fleury.] "What are you doing here, monsieur?" + +Fleury [insolently]. "I came to tell these gentlemen that there was to +be a general turn-out. Du Bruel is sent for to the ministry, and Dutocq +also. Everybody is asking who will be appointed." + +Baudoyer [retiring]. "It is not your affair, sir; go back to your own +office, and do not disturb mine." + +Fleury [in the doorway]. "It would be a shameful injustice if Rabourdin +lost the place; I swear I'd leave the service. Did you find that +anagram, papa Colleville?" + +Colleville. "Yes, here it is." + +Fleury [leaning over Colleville's desk]. "Capital! famous! This is just +what will happen if the administration continues to play the hypocrite." +[He makes a sign to the clerks that Baudoyer is listening.] "If the +government would frankly state its intentions without concealments +of any kind, the liberals would know what they had to deal with. An +administration which sets its best friends against itself, such men as +those of the 'Debats,' Chateaubriand, and Royer-Collard, is only to be +pitied!" + +Colleville [after consulting his colleagues]. "Come, Fleury, you're a +good fellow, but don't talk politics here; you don't know what harm you +may do us." + +Fleury [dryly]. "Well, adieu, gentlemen; I have my work to do by four +o'clock." + +While this idle talk had been going on, des Lupeaulx was closeted in +his office with du Bruel, where, a little later, Dutocq joined them. Des +Lupeaulx had heard from his valet of La Billardiere's death, and wishing +to please the two ministers, he wanted an obituary article to appear in +the evening papers. + +"Good morning, my dear du Bruel," said the semi-minister to the +head-clerk as he entered, and not inviting him to sit down. "You have +heard the news? La Billardiere is dead. The ministers were both +present when he received the last sacraments. The worthy man strongly +recommended Rabourdin, saying he should die with less regret if he could +know that his successor were the man who had so constantly done his +work. Death is a torture which makes a man confess everything. The +minister agreed the more readily because his intention and that of the +Council was to reward Monsieur Rabourdin's numerous services. In fact, +the Council of State needs his experience. They say that young La +Billardiere is to leave the division of his father and go to the +Commission of Seals; that's just the same as if the King had made him a +present of a hundred thousand francs,--the place can always be sold. But +I know the news will delight your division, which will thus get rid of +him. Du Bruel, we must get ten or a dozen lines about the worthy late +director into the papers; his Excellency will glance them over,--he +reads the papers. Do you know the particulars of old La Billardiere's +life?" + +Du Bruel made a sign in the negative. + +"No?" continued des Lupeaulx. "Well then; he was mixed up in the affairs +of La Vendee, and he was one of the confidants of the late King. Like +Monsieur le Comte de Fontaine he always refused to hold communication +with the First Consul. He was a bit of a 'chouan'; born in Brittany of a +parliamentary family, and ennobled by Louis XVIII. How old was he? never +mind about that; just say his loyalty was untarnished, his religion +enlightened,--the poor old fellow hated churches and never set foot +in one, but you had better make him out a 'pious vassal.' Bring in, +gracefully, that he sang the song of Simeon at the accession of Charles +X. The Comte d'Artois thought very highly of La Billardiere, for he +co-operated in the unfortunate affair of Quiberon and took the +whole responsibility on himself. You know about that, don't you? La +Billardiere defended the King in a printed pamphlet in reply to an +impudent history of the Revolution written by a journalist; you can +allude to his loyalty and devotion. But be very careful what you say; +weigh your words, so that the other newspapers can't laugh at us; and +bring me the article when you've written it. Were you at Rabourdin's +yesterday?" + +"Yes, monseigneur," said du Bruel, "Ah! beg pardon." + +"No harm done," answered des Lupeaulx, laughing. + +"Madame Rabourdin looked delightfully handsome," added du Bruel. "There +are not two women like her in Paris. Some are as clever as she, but +there's not one so gracefully witty. Many women may even be handsomer, +but it would be hard to find one with such variety of beauty. Madame +Rabourdin is far superior to Madame Colleville," said the vaudevillist, +remembering des Lupeaulx's former affair. "Flavie owes what she is to +the men about her, whereas Madame Rabourdin is all things in herself. It +is wonderful too what she knows; you can't tell secrets in Latin before +/her/. If I had such a wife, I know I should succeed in everything." + +"You have more mind than an author ought to have," returned des +Lupeaulx, with a conceited air. Then he turned round and perceived +Dutocq. "Ah, good-morning, Dutocq," he said. "I sent for you to lend me +your Charlet--if you have the whole complete. Madame la comtesse knows +nothing of Charlet." + +Du Bruel retired. + +"Why do you come in without being summoned?" said des Lupeaulx, harshly, +when he and Dutocq were left alone. "Is the State in danger that you +must come here at ten o'clock in the morning, just as I am going to +breakfast with his Excellency?" + +"Perhaps it is, monsieur," said Dutocq, dryly. "If I had had the honor +to see you earlier, you would probably have not been so willing to +support Monsieur Rabourdin, after reading his opinion of you." + +Dutocq opened his coat, took a paper from the left-hand breast-pocket +and laid it on des Lupeaulx's desk, pointing to a marked passage. Then +he went to the door and slipped the bolt, fearing interruption. While +he was thus employed, the secretary-general read the opening sentence of +the article, which was as follows: + + "Monsieur des Lupeaulx. A government degrades itself by openly + employing such a man, whose real vocation is for police diplomacy. + He is fitted to deal with the political filibusters of other + cabinets, and it would be a pity therefore to employ him on our + internal detective police. He is above a common spy, for he is + able to understand a plan; he could skilfully carry through a dark + piece of work and cover his retreat safely." + +Des Lupeaulx was succinctly analyzed in five or six such +paragraphs,--the essence, in fact, of the biographical portrait which +we gave at the beginning of this history. As he read the words the +secretary felt that a man stronger than himself sat in judgment on +him; and he at once resolved to examine the memorandum, which evidently +reached far and high, without allowing Dutocq to know his secret +thoughts. He therefore showed a calm, grave face when the spy returned +to him. Des Lupeaulx, like lawyers, magistrates, diplomatists, and all +whose work obliges them to pry into the human heart, was past being +surprised at anything. Hardened in treachery and in all the tricks and +wiles of hatred, he could take a stab in the back and not let his face +tell of it. + +"How did you get hold of this paper?" + +Dutocq related his good luck; des Lupeaulx's face as he listened +expressed no approbation; and the spy ended in terror an account which +began triumphantly. + +"Dutocq, you have put your finger between the bark and the tree," said +the secretary, coldly. "If you don't want to make powerful enemies I +advise you to keep this paper a profound secret; it is a work of the +utmost importance and already well known to me." + +So saying, des Lupeaulx dismissed Dutocq by one of those glances that +are more expressive than words. + +"Ha! that scoundrel of a Rabourdin has put his finger in this!" thought +Dutocq, alarmed on finding himself anticipated; "he has reached the ear +of the administration, while I am left out in the cold. I shouldn't have +thought it!" + +To all his other motives of aversion to Rabourdin he now added the +jealousy of one man to another man of the same calling,--a most powerful +ingredient in hatred. + +When des Lupeaulx was left alone, he dropped into a strange meditation. +What power was it of which Rabourdin was the instrument? Should he, des +Lupeaulx, use this singular document to destroy him, or should he keep +it as a weapon to succeed with the wife? The mystery that lay behind +this paper was all darkness to des Lupeaulx, who read with something +akin to terror page after page, in which the men of his acquaintance +were judged with unerring wisdom. He admired Rabourdin, though stabbed +to his vitals by what he said of him. The breakfast-hour suddenly cut +short his meditation. + +"His Excellency is waiting for you to come down," announced the +minister's footman. + +The minister always breakfasted with his wife and children and des +Lupeaulx, without the presence of servants. The morning meal affords the +only moment of privacy which public men can snatch from the current of +overwhelming business. Yet in spite of the precautions they take to keep +this hour for private intimacies and affections, a good many great and +little people manage to infringe upon it. Business itself will, as at +this moment, thrust itself in the way of their scanty comfort. + +"I thought Rabourdin was a man above all ordinary petty manoeuvres," +began the minister; "and yet here, not ten minutes after La +Billardiere's death, he sends me this note by La Briere,--it is like a +stage missive. Look," said his Excellency, giving des Lupeaulx a paper +which he was twirling in his fingers. + +Too noble in mind to think for a moment of the shameful meaning +La Billardiere's death might lend to his letter, Rabourdin had not +withdrawn it from La Briere's hands after the news reached him. Des +Lupeaulx read as follows:-- + + "Monseigneur,--If twenty-three years of irreproachable services + may claim a favor, I entreat your Excellency to grant me an + audience this very day. My honor is involved in the matter of + which I desire to speak." + +"Poor man!" said des Lupeaulx, in a tone of compassion which confirmed +the minister in his error. "We are alone; I advise you to see him now. +You have a meeting of the Council when the Chamber rises; moreover, your +Excellency has to reply to-day to the opposition; this is really the +only hour when you can receive him." + +Des Lupeaulx rose, called the servant, said a few words, and returned to +his seat. "I have told them to bring him in at dessert," he said. + +Like all other ministers under the Restoration, this particular minister +was a man without youth. The charter granted by Louis XVIII. had the +defect of tying the hands of the kings by compelling them to deliver the +destinies of the nation into the control of the middle-aged men of the +Chamber and the septuagenarians of the peerage; it robbed them of the +right to lay hands on a man of statesmanlike talent wherever they +could find him, no matter how young he was or how poverty-stricken his +condition might be. Napoleon alone was able to employ young men as +he chose, without being restrained by any consideration. After the +overthrow of that mighty will, vigor deserted power. Now the period +when effeminacy succeeds to vigor presents a contrast that is far +more dangerous in France than in other countries. As a general thing, +ministers who were old before they entered office have proved second +or third rate, while those who were taken young have been an honor +to European monarchies and to the republics whose affairs they have +directed. The world still rings with the struggle between Pitt and +Napoleon, two men who conducted the politics of their respective +countries at an age when Henri de Navarre, Richelieu, Mazarin, Colbert, +Louvois, the Prince of Orange, the Guises, Machiavelli, in short, all +the best known of our great men, coming from the ranks or born to +a throne, began to rule the State. The Convention--that model of +energy--was made up in a great measure of young heads; no sovereign +can ever forget that it was able to put fourteen armies into the field +against Europe. Its policy, fatal in the eyes of those who cling to +what is called absolute power, was nevertheless dictated by strictly +monarchical principles, and it behaved itself like any of the great +kings. + +After ten or a dozen years of parliamentary struggle, having studied +the science of politics until he was worn down by it, this particular +minister had come to be enthroned by his party, who considered him in +the light of their business man. Happily for him he was now nearer sixty +than fifty years of age; had he retained even a vestige of juvenile +vigor he would quickly have quenched it. But, accustomed to back and +fill, retreat and return to the charge, he was able to endure being +struck at, turn and turn about, by his own party, by the opposition, +by the court, by the clergy, because to all such attacks he opposed the +inert force of a substance which was equally soft and consistent; thus +he reaped the benefits of what was really his misfortune. Harassed by a +thousand questions of government, his mind, like that of an old lawyer +who has tried every species of case, no longer possessed the spring +which solitary minds are able to retain, nor that power of prompt +decision which distinguishes men who are early accustomed to action, and +young soldiers. How could it be otherwise? He had practised sophistries +and quibbled instead of judging; he had criticised effects and done +nothing for causes; his head was full of plans such as a political +party lays upon the shoulders of a leader,--matters of private interest +brought to an orator supposed to have a future, a jumble of schemes and +impractical requests. Far from coming fresh to his work, he was wearied +out with marching and counter-marching, and when he finally reached +the much desired height of his present position, he found himself in +a thicket of thorny bushes with a thousand conflicting wills to +conciliate. If the statesmen of the Restoration had been allowed to +follow out their own ideas, their capacity would doubtless have been +criticised; but though their wills were often forced, their age saved +them from attempting the resistance which youth opposes to intrigues, +both high and low,--intrigues which vanquished Richelieu, and to which, +in a lower sphere, Rabourdin was to succumb. + +After the rough and tumble of their first struggles in political life +these men, less old than aged, have to endure the additional wear and +tear of a ministry. Thus it is that their eyes begin to weaken just as +they need to have the clear-sightedness of eagles; their mind is weary +when its youth and fire need to be redoubled. The minister in whom +Rabourdin sought to confide was in the habit of listening to men +of undoubted superiority as they explained ingenious theories of +government, applicable or inapplicable to the affairs of France. Such +men, by whom the difficulties of national policy were never apprehended, +were in the habit of attacking this minister personally whenever a +parliamentary battle or a contest with the secret follies of the court +took place,--on the eve of a struggle with the popular mind, or on the +morrow of a diplomatic discussion which divided the Council into three +separate parties. Caught in such a predicament, a statesman naturally +keeps a yawn ready for the first sentence designed to show him how the +public service could be better managed. At such periods not a dinner +took place among bold schemers or financial and political lobbyists +where the opinions of the Bourse and the Bank, the secrets of diplomacy, +and the policy necessitated by the state of affairs in Europe were not +canvassed and discussed. The minister has his own private councillors in +des Lupeaulx and his secretary, who collected and pondered all opinions +and discussions for the purpose of analyzing and controlling the various +interests proclaimed and supported by so many clever men. In fact, his +misfortune was that of most other ministers who have passed the prime +of life; he trimmed and shuffled under all his difficulties,--with +journalism, which at this period it was thought advisable to repress +in an underhand way rather than fight openly; with financial as well as +labor questions; with the clergy as well as with that other question +of the public lands; with liberalism as with the Chamber. After +manoeuvering his way to power in the course of seven years, the minister +believed that he could manage all questions of administration in the +same way. It is so natural to think we can maintain a position by the +same methods which served us to reach it that no one ventured to blame +a system invented by mediocrity to please minds of its own calibre. The +Restoration, like the Polish revolution, proved to nations as to princes +the true value of a Man, and what will happen if that necessary man is +wanting. The last and the greatest weakness of the public men of the +Restoration was their honesty, in a struggle in which their adversaries +employed the resources of political dishonesty, lies, and calumnies, +and let loose upon them, by all subversive means, the clamor of the +unintelligent masses, able only to understand revolt. + +Rabourdin told himself all these things. But he had made up his mind +to win or lose, like a man weary of gambling who allows himself a last +stake; ill-luck had given him as adversary in the game a sharper like +des Lupeaulx. With all his sagacity, Rabourdin was better versed in +matters of administration than in parliamentary optics, and he was far +indeed from imagining how his confidence would be received; he little +thought that the great work that filled his mind would seem to the +minister nothing more than a theory, and that a man who held the +position of a statesman would confound his reform with the schemes of +political and self-interested talkers. + +As the minister rose from table, thinking of Francois Keller, his wife +detained him with the offer of a bunch of grapes, and at that moment +Rabourdin was announced. Des Lupeaulx had counted on the minister's +preoccupation and his desire to get away; seeing him for the moment +occupied with his wife, the general-secretary went forward to meet +Rabourdin; whom he petrified with his first words, said in a low tone of +voice:-- + +"His Excellency and I know what the subject is that occupies your mind; +you have nothing to fear"; then, raising his voice, he added, "neither +from Dutocq nor from any one else." + +"Don't feel uneasy, Rabourdin," said his Excellency, kindly, but making +a movement to get away. + +Rabourdin came forward respectfully, and the minister could not evade +him. + +"Will your Excellency permit me to see you for a moment in private?" he +said, with a mysterious glance. + +The minister looked at the clock and went towards the window, whither +the poor man followed him. + +"When may I have the honor of submitting the matter of which I spoke to +your Excellency? I desire to fully explain the plan of administration to +which the paper that was taken belongs--" + +"Plan of administration!" exclaimed the minister, frowning, and +hurriedly interrupting him. "If you have anything of that kind to +communicate you must wait for the regular day when we do business +together. I ought to be at the Council now; and I have an answer to +make to the Chamber on that point which the opposition raised before the +session ended yesterday. Your day is Wednesday next; I could not work +yesterday, for I had other things to attend to; political matters are +apt to interfere with purely administrative ones." + +"I place my honor with all confidence in your Excellency's hands," said +Rabourdin gravely, "and I entreat you to remember that you have not +allowed me time to give you an immediate explanation of the stolen +paper--" + +"Don't be uneasy," said des Lupeaulx, interposing between the minister +and Rabourdin, whom he thus interrupted; "in another week you will +probably be appointed--" + +The minister smiled as he thought of des Lupeaulx's enthusiasm for +Madame Rabourdin, and he glanced knowingly at his wife. Rabourdin saw +the look, and tried to imagine its meaning; his attention was diverted +for a moment, and his Excellency took advantage of the fact to make his +escape. + +"We will talk of all this, you and I," said des Lupeaulx, with whom +Rabourdin, much to his surprise, now found himself alone. "Don't be +angry with Dutocq; I'll answer for his discretion." + +"Madame Rabourdin is charming," said the minister's wife, wishing to say +the civil thing to the head of a bureau. + +The children all gazed at Rabourdin with curiosity. The poor man had +come there expecting some serious, even solemn, result, and he was like +a great fish caught in the threads of a flimsy net; he struggled with +himself. + +"Madame la comtesse is very good," he said. + +"Shall I not have the pleasure of seeing Madame here some Wednesday?" +said the countess. "Pray bring her; it will give me pleasure." + +"Madame Rabourdin herself receives on Wednesdays," interrupted des +Lupeaulx, who knew the empty civility of an invitation to the official +Wednesdays; "but since you are so kind as to wish for her, you will soon +give one of your private parties, and--" + +The countess rose with some irritation. + +"You are the master of my ceremonies," she said to des +Lupeaulx,--ambiguous words, by which she expressed the annoyance she +felt with the secretary for presuming to interfere with her private +parties, to which she admitted only a select few. She left the room +without bowing to Rabourdin, who remained alone with des Lupeaulx; +the latter was twisting in his fingers the confidential letter to +the minister which Rabourdin had intrusted to La Briere. Rabourdin +recognized it. + +"You have never really known me," said des Lupeaulx. "Friday evening +we will come to a full understanding. Just now I must go and receive +callers; his Excellency saddles me with that burden when he has other +matters to attend to. But I repeat, Rabourdin, don't worry yourself; you +have nothing to fear." + +Rabourdin walked slowly through the corridors, amazed and confounded by +this singular turn of events. He had expected Dutocq to denounce him, +and found he had not been mistaken; des Lupeaulx had certainly seen the +document which judged him so severely, and yet des Lupeaulx was fawning +on his judge! It was all incomprehensible. Men of upright minds are +often at a loss to understand complicated intrigues, and Rabourdin was +lost in a maze of conjecture without being able to discover the object +of the game which the secretary was playing. + +"Either he has not read the part about himself, or he loves my wife." + +Such were the two thoughts to which his mind arrived as he crossed the +courtyard; for the glance he had intercepted the night before between +des Lupeaulx and Celestine came back to his memory like a flash of +lightning. + + + + +CHAPTER VI. THE WORMS AT WORK + + +Rabourdin's bureau was during his absence a prey to the keenest +excitement; for the relation between the head officials and the clerks +in a government office is so regulated that, when a minister's messenger +summons the head of a bureau to his Excellency's presence (above all at +the latter's breakfast hour), there is no end to the comments that are +made. The fact that the present unusual summons followed so closely +on the death of Monsieur de la Billardiere seemed to give special +importance to the circumstance, which was made known to Monsieur +Saillard, who came at once to confer with Baudoyer. Bixiou, who happened +at the moment to be at work with the latter, left him to converse with +his father-in-law and betook himself to the bureau Rabourdin, where the +usual routine was of course interrupted. + +Bixiou [entering]. "I thought I should find you at a white heat! Don't +you know what's going on down below? The virtuous woman is done for! +yes, done for, crushed! Terrible scene at the ministry!" + +Dutocq [looking fixedly at him]. "Are you telling the truth?" + +Bixiou. "Pray, who would regret it? Not you, certainly, for you will be +made under-head-clerk and du Bruel head of the bureau. Monsieur Baudoyer +gets the division." + +Fleury. "I'll bet a hundred francs that Baudoyer will never be head of +the division." + +Vimeux. "I'll join in the bet; will you, Monsieur Poiret?" + +Poiret. "I retire in January." + +Bixiou. "Is it possible? are we to lose the sight of those shoe-ties? +What will the ministry be without you? Will nobody take up the bet on my +side?" + +Dutocq. "I can't, for I know the facts. Monsieur Rabourdin is appointed. +Monsieur de la Billardiere requested it of the two ministers on his +death-bed, blaming himself for having taken the emoluments of an office +of which Rabourdin did all the work; he felt remorse of conscience, and +the ministers, to quiet him, promised to appoint Rabourdin unless higher +powers intervened." + +Bixiou. "Gentlemen, are you all against me? seven to one,--for I know +which side you'll take, Monsieur Phellion. Well, I'll bet a dinner +costing five hundred francs at the Rocher de Cancale that Rabourdin does +not get La Billardiere's place. That will cost you only a hundred francs +each, and I'm risking five hundred,--five to one against me! Do you take +it up?" [Shouting into the next room.] "Du Bruel, what say you?" + +Phellion [laying down his pen]. "Monsieur, may I ask on what you base +that contingent proposal?--for contingent it is. But stay, I am wrong +to call it a proposal; I should say contract. A wager constitutes a +contract." + +Fleury. "No, no; you can only apply the word 'contract' to agreements +that are recognized in the Code. Now the Code allows of no action for +the recovery of a bet." + +Dutocq. "Proscribe a thing and you recognize it." + +Bixiou. "Good! my little man." + +Poiret. "Dear me!" + +Fleury. "True! when one refuses to pay one's debts, that's recognizing +them." + +Thuillier. "You would make famous lawyers." + +Poiret. "I am as curious as Monsieur Phellion to know what grounds +Monsieur Bixiou has for--" + +Bixiou [shouting across the office]. "Du Bruel! Will you bet?" + +Du Bruel [appearing at the door]. "Heavens and earth, gentlemen, I'm +very busy; I have something very difficult to do; I've got to write an +obituary notice of Monsieur de la Billardiere. I do beg you to be quiet; +you can laugh and bet afterwards." + +Bixiou. "That's true, du Bruel; the praise of an honest man is a very +difficult thing to write. I'd rather any day draw a caricature of him." + +Du Bruel. "Do come and help me, Bixiou." + +Bixiou [following him]. "I'm willing; though I can do such things much +better when eating." + +Du Bruel. "Well, we will go and dine together afterwards. But listen, +this is what I have written" [reads] "'The Church and the Monarchy are +daily losing many of those who fought for them in Revolutionary times.'" + +Bixiou. "Bad, very bad; why don't you say, 'Death carries on its ravages +amongst the few surviving defenders of the monarchy and the old and +faithful servants of the King, whose heart bleeds under these reiterated +blows?'" [Du Bruel writes rapidly.] "'Monsieur le Baron Flamet de la +Billardiere died this morning of dropsy, caused by heart disease.' You +see, it is just as well to show there are hearts in government offices; +and you ought to slip in a little flummery about the emotions of the +Royalists during the Terror,--might be useful, hey! But stay,--no! +the petty papers would be sure to say the emotions came more from the +stomach than the heart. Better leave that out. What are you writing +now?" + +Du Bruel [reading]. "'Issuing from an old parliamentary stock in which +devotion to the throne was hereditary, as was also attachment to the +faith of our fathers, Monsieur de la Billardiere--'" + +Bixiou. "Better say Monsieur le Baron de la Billardiere." + +Du Bruel. "But he wasn't baron in 1793." + +Bixiou. "No matter. Don't you remember that under the Empire Fouche +was telling an anecdote about the Convention, in which he had to quote +Robespierre, and he said, 'Robespierre called out to me, "Duc d'Otrante, +go to the Hotel de Ville."' There's a precedent for you!" + +Du Bruel. "Let me just write that down; I can use it in a +vaudeville.--But to go back to what we were saying. I don't want to put +'Monsieur le baron,' because I am reserving his honors till the last, +when they rained upon him." + +Bixiou. "Oh! very good; that's theatrical,--the finale of the article." + +Du Bruel [continuing]. "'In appointing Monsieur de la Billardiere +gentleman-in-ordinary--'" + +Bixiou. "Very ordinary!" + +Du Bruel. "'--of the Bedchamber, the King rewarded not only the services +rendered by the Provost, who knew how to harmonize the severity of his +functions with the customary urbanity of the Bourbons, but the bravery +of the Vendean hero, who never bent the knee to the imperial idol. He +leaves a son, who inherits his loyalty and his talents.'" + +Bixiou. "Don't you think all that is a little too florid? I should tone +down the poetry. 'Imperial idol!' 'bent the knee!' damn it, my dear +fellow, writing vaudevilles has ruined your style; you can't come down +to pedestrial prose. I should say, 'He belonged to the small number of +those who.' Simplify, simplify! the man himself was a simpleton." + +Du Bruel. "That's vaudeville, if you like! You would make your fortune +at the theatre, Bixiou." + +Bixiou. "What have you said about Quiberon?" [Reads over du Bruel's +shoulder.] "Oh, that won't do! Here, this is what you must say: 'He took +upon himself, in a book recently published, the responsibility for all +the blunders of the expedition to Quiberon,--thus proving the nature of +his loyalty, which did not shrink from any sacrifice.' That's clever and +witty, and exalts La Billardiere." + +Du Bruel. "At whose expense?" + +Bixiou [solemn as a priest in a pulpit]. "Why, Hoche and Tallien, of +course; don't you read history?" + +Du Bruel. "No. I subscribed to the Baudouin series, but I've never had +time to open a volume; one can't find matter for vaudevilles there." + +Phellion [at the door]. "We all want to know, Monsieur Bixiou, what made +you think that the worthy and honorable Monsieur Rabourdin, who has so +long done the work of this division for Monsieur de la Billardiere,--he, +who is the senior head of all the bureaus, and whom, moreover, the +minister summoned as soon as he heard of the departure of the late +Monsieur de la Billardiere,--will not be appointed head of the +division." + +Bixiou. "Papa Phellion, you know geography?" + +Phellion [bridling up]. "I should say so!" + +Bixiou. "And history?" + +Phellion [affecting modesty]. "Possibly." + +Bixiou [looking fixedly at him]. "Your diamond pin is loose, it is +coming out. Well, you may know all that, but you don't know the human +heart; you have gone no further in the geography and history of that +organ than you have in the environs of the city of Paris." + +Poiret [to Vimeux]. "Environs of Paris? I thought they were talking of +Monsieur Rabourdin." + +Bixiou. "About that bet? Does the entire bureau Rabourdin bet against +me?" + +All. "Yes." + +Bixiou. "Du Bruel, do you count in?" + +Du Bruel. "Of course I do. We want Rabourdin to go up a step and make +room for others." + +Bixiou. "Well, I accept the bet,--for this reason; you can hardly +understand it, but I'll tell it to you all the same. It would be right +and just to appoint Monsieur Rabourdin" [looking full at Dutocq], +"because, in that case, long and faithful service, honor, and talent +would be recognized, appreciated, and properly rewarded. Such an +appointment is in the best interests of the administration." [Phellion, +Poiret, and Thuillier listen stupidly, with the look of those who try +to peer before them in the darkness.] "Well, it is just because the +promotion would be so fitting, and because the man has such merit, +and because the measure is so eminently wise and equitable that I bet +Rabourdin will not be appointed. Yes, you'll see, that appointment will +slip up, just like the invasion from Boulogne, and the march to Russia, +for the success of which a great genius has gathered together all the +chances. It will fail as all good and just things do fail in this low +world. I am only backing the devil's game." + +Du Bruel. "Who do you think will be appointed?" + +Bixiou. "The more I think about Baudoyer, the more sure I feel that he +unites all the opposite qualities; therefore I think he will be the next +head of this division." + +Dutocq. "But Monsieur des Lupeaulx, who sent for me to borrow my +Charlet, told me positively that Monsieur Rabourdin was appointed, and +that the little La Billardiere would be made Clerk of the Seals." + +Bixiou. "Appointed, indeed! The appointment can't be made and signed +under ten days. It will certainly not be known before New-Year's day. +There he goes now across the courtyard; look at him, and say if the +virtuous Rabourdin looks like a man in the sunshine of favor. I should +say he knows he's dismissed." [Fleury rushes to the window.] "Gentlemen, +adieu; I'll go and tell Monsieur Baudoyer that I hear from you that +Rabourdin is appointed; it will make him furious, the pious creature! +Then I'll tell him of our wager, to cool him down,--a process we call at +the theatre turning the Wheel of Fortune, don't we, du Bruel? Why do I +care who gets the place? simply because if Baudoyer does he will make me +under-head-clerk" [goes out]. + +Poiret. "Everybody says that man is clever, but as for me, I can never +understand a word he says" [goes on copying]. "I listen and listen; I +hear words, but I never get at any meaning; he talks about the environs +of Paris when he discusses the human heart and" [lays down his pen and +goes to the stove] "declares he backs the devil's game when it is a +question of Russia and Boulogne; now what is there so clever in that, +I'd like to know? We must first admit that the devil plays any game at +all, and then find out what game; possibly dominoes" [blows his nose]. + +Fleury [interrupting]. "Pere Poiret is blowing his nose; it must be +eleven o'clock." + +Du Bruel. "So it is! Goodness! I'm off to the secretary; he wants to +read the obituary." + +Poiret. "What was I saying?" + +Thuillier. "Dominoes,--perhaps the devil plays dominoes." [Sebastien +enters to gather up the different papers and circulars for signature.] + +Vimeux. "Ah! there you are, my fine young man. Your days of hardship are +nearly over; you'll get a post. Monsieur Rabourdin will be appointed. +Weren't you at Madame Rabourdin's last night? Lucky fellow! they say +that really superb women go there." + +Sebastien. "Do they? I didn't know." + +Fleury. "Are you blind?" + +Sebastien. "I don't like to look at what I ought not to see." + +Phellion [delighted]. "Well said, young man!" + +Vimeux. "The devil! well, you looked at Madame Rabourdin enough, any +how; a charming woman." + +Fleury. "Pooh! thin as a rail. I saw her in the Tuileries, and I much +prefer Percilliee, the ballet-mistress, Castaing's victim." + +Phellion. "What has an actress to do with the wife of a government +official?" + +Dutocq. "They both play comedy." + +Fleury [looking askance at Dutocq]. "The physical has nothing to do with +the moral, and if you mean--" + +Dutocq. "I mean nothing." + +Fleury. "Do you all want to know which of us will really be made head of +this bureau?" + +All. "Yes, tell us." + +Fleury. "Colleville." + +Thuillier. "Why?" + +Fleury. "Because Madame Colleville has taken the shortest way to +it--through the sacristy." + +Thuillier. "I am too much Colleville's friend not to beg you, Monsieur +Fleury, to speak respectfully of his wife." + +Phellion. "A defenceless woman should never be made the subject of +conversation here--" + +Vimeux. "All the more because the charming Madame Colleville won't +invite Fleury to her house. He backbites her in revenge." + +Fleury. "She may not receive me on the same footing that she does +Thuillier, but I go there--" + +Thuillier. "When? how?--under her windows?" + +Though Fleury was dreaded as a bully in all the offices, he received +Thuillier's speech in silence. This meekness, which surprised the other +clerks, was owing to a certain note for two hundred francs, of doubtful +value, which Thuillier agreed to pass over to his sister. After this +skirmish dead silence prevailed. They all wrote steadily from one to +three o'clock. Du Bruel did not return. + +About half-past three the usual preparations for departure, the brushing +of hats, the changing of coats, went on in all the ministerial offices. +That precious thirty minutes thus employed served to shorten by just so +much the day's labor. At this hour the over-heated rooms cool off; +the peculiar odor that hangs about the bureaus evaporates; silence +is restored. By four o'clock none but a few clerks who do their duty +conscientiously remain. A minister may know who are the real workers +under him if he will take the trouble to walk through the divisions +after four o'clock,--a species of prying, however, that no one of his +dignity would condescend to. + +The various heads of divisions and bureaus usually encountered each +other in the courtyards at this hour and exchanged opinions on the +events of the day. On this occasion they departed by twos and threes, +most of them agreeing in favor of Rabourdin; while the old stagers, +like Monsieur Clergeot, shook their heads and said, "Habent sua sidera +lites." Saillard and Baudoyer were politely avoided, for nobody knew +what to say to them about La Billardiere's death, it being fully +understood that Baudoyer wanted the place, though it was certainly not +due to him. + +When Saillard and his son-in-law had gone a certain distance from the +ministry the former broke silence and said: "Things look badly for you, +my poor Baudoyer." + +"I can't understand," replied the other, "what Elisabeth was dreaming +of when she sent Godard in such a hurry to get a passport for Falleix; +Godard tells me she hired a post-chaise by the advice of my uncle +Mitral, and that Falleix has already started for his own part of the +country." + +"Some matter connected with our business," suggested Saillard. + +"Our most pressing business just now is to look after Monsieur La +Billardiere's place," returned Baudoyer, crossly. + +They were just then near the entrance of the Palais-Royal on the rue +Saint-Honore. Dutocq came up, bowing, and joined them. + +"Monsieur," he said to Baudoyer, "if I can be useful to you in any way +under the circumstances in which you find yourself, pray command me, for +I am not less devoted to your interests than Monsieur Godard." + +"Such an assurance is at least consoling," replied Baudoyer; "it makes +me aware that I have the confidence of honest men." + +"If you would kindly employ your influence to get me placed in +your division, taking Bixiou as head of the bureau and me as +under-head-clerk, you will secure the future of two men who are ready to +do anything for your advancement." + +"Are you making fun of us, monsieur?" asked Saillard, staring at him +stupidly. + +"Far be it from me to do that," said Dutocq. "I have just come from the +printing-office of the ministerial journal (where I carried from the +general-secretary an obituary notice of Monsieur de la Billardiere), and +I there read an article which will appear to-night about you, which has +given me the highest opinion of your character and talents. If it is +necessary to crush Rabourdin, I'm in a position to give him the final +blow; please to remember that." + +Dutocq disappeared. + +"May I be shot if I understand a single word of it," said Saillard, +looking at Baudoyer, whose little eyes were expressive of stupid +bewilderment. "I must buy the newspaper to-night." + +When the two reached home and entered the salon on the ground-floor, +they found a large fire lighted, and Madame Saillard, Elisabeth, +Monsieur Gaudron and the curate of Saint-Paul's sitting by it. The +curate turned at once to Monsieur Baudoyer, to whom Elisabeth made a +sign which he failed to understand. + +"Monsieur," said the curate, "I have lost no time in coming in person to +thank you for the magnificent gift with which you have adorned my poor +church. I dared not run in debt to buy that beautiful monstrance, +worthy of a cathedral. You, who are one of our most pious and faithful +parishioners, must have keenly felt the bareness of the high altar. I am +on my way to see Monseigneur the coadjutor, and he will, I am sure, send +you his own thanks later." + +"I have done nothing as yet--" began Baudoyer. + +"Monsieur le cure," interposed his wife, cutting him short. "I see I am +forced to betray the whole secret. Monsieur Baudoyer hopes to complete +the gift by sending you a dais for the coming Fete-Dieu. But the +purchase must depend on the state of our finances, and our finances +depend on my husband's promotion." + +"God will reward those who honor him," said Monsieur Gaudron, preparing, +with the curate, to take leave. + +"But will you not," said Saillard to the two ecclesiastics, "do us the +honor to take pot luck with us?" + +"You can stay, my dear vicar," said the curate to Gaudron; "you know I +am engaged to dine with the curate of Saint-Roch, who, by the bye, is to +bury Monsieur de la Billardiere to-morrow." + +"Monsieur le cure de Saint-Roch might say a word for us," began +Baudoyer. His wife pulled the skirt of his coat violently. + +"Do hold your tongue, Baudoyer," she said, leading him aside and +whispering in his ear. "You have given a monstrance to the church, that +cost five thousand francs. I'll explain it all later." + +The miserly Baudoyer make a sulky grimace, and continued gloomy and +cross for the rest of the day. + +"What did you busy yourself about Falleix's passport for? Why do you +meddle in other people's affairs?" he presently asked her. + +"I must say, I think Falleix's affairs are as much ours as his," +returned Elisabeth, dryly, glancing at her husband to make him notice +Monsieur Gaudron, before whom he ought to be silent. + +"Certainly, certainly," said old Saillard, thinking of his +co-partnership. + +"I hope you reached the newspaper office in time?" remarked Elisabeth to +Monsieur Gaudron, as she helped him to soup. + +"Yes, my dear lady," answered the vicar; "when the editor read the +little article I gave him, written by the secretary of the Grand +Almoner, he made no difficulty. He took pains to insert it in a +conspicuous place. I should never have thought of that; but this young +journalist has a wide-awake mind. The defenders of religion can enter +the lists against impiety without disadvantage at the present moment, +for there is a great deal of talent in the royalist press. I have every +reason to believe that success will crown your hopes. But you must +remember, my dear Baudoyer, to promote Monsieur Colleville; he is an +object of great interest to his Eminence; in fact, I am desired to +mention him to you." + +"If I am head of the division, I will make him head of one of my +bureaus, if you want me to," said Baudoyer. + +The matter thus referred to was explained after dinner, when the +ministerial organ (bought and sent up by the porter) proved to contain +among its Paris news the following articles, called items:-- + + "Monsieur le Baron de la Billardiere died this morning, after a + long and painful illness. The king loses a devoted servant, the + Church a most pious son. Monsieur de la Billardiere's end has + fitly crowned a noble life, consecrated in dark and troublesome + times to perilous missions, and of late years to arduous civic + duties. Monsieur de la Billardiere was provost of a department, + where his force of character triumphed over all the obstacles that + rebellion arrayed against him. He subsequently accepted the + difficult post of director of a division (in which his great + acquirements were not less useful than the truly French affability + of his manners) for the express purpose of conciliating the + serious interests that arise under its administration. No rewards + have ever been more truly deserved than those by which the King, + Louis XVIII., and his present Majesty took pleasure in crowning a + loyalty which never faltered under the usurper. This old family + still survives in the person of a single heir to the excellent man + whose death now afflicts so many warm friends. His Majesty has + already graciously made known that Monsieur Benjamin de la + Billardiere will be included among the gentlemen-in-ordinary of + the Bedchamber. + + "The numerous friends who have not already received their + notification of this sad event are hereby informed that the + funeral will take place to-morrow at four o'clock, in the church + of Saint-Roch. The memorial address will be delivered by Monsieur + l'Abbe Fontanon."---- + + "Monsieur Isidore-Charles-Thomas Baudoyer, representing one of the + oldest bourgeois families of Paris, and head of a bureau in the + late Monsieur de la Billardiere's division, has lately recalled + the old traditions of piety and devotion which formerly + distinguished these great families, so jealous for the honor and + glory of religion, and so faithful in preserving its monuments. + The church of Saint-Paul has long needed a monstrance in keeping + with the magnificence of that basilica, itself due to the Company + of Jesus. Neither the vestry nor the curate were rich enough to + decorate the altar. Monsieur Baudoyer has bestowed upon the parish + a monstrance that many persons have seen and admired at Monsieur + Gohier's, the king's jeweller. Thanks to the piety of this + gentleman, who did not shrink from the immensity of the price, the + church of Saint-Paul possesses to-day a masterpiece of the + jeweller's art designed by Monsieur de Sommervieux. It gives us + pleasure to make known this fact, which proves how powerless the + declamations of liberals have been on the mind of the Parisian + bourgeoisie. The upper ranks of that body have at all times been + royalist and they prove it when occasion offers." + +"The price was five thousand francs," said the Abbe Gaudron; "but as the +payment was in cash, the court jeweller reduced the amount." + +"Representing one of the oldest bourgeois families in Paris!" Saillard +was saying to himself; "there it is printed,--in the official paper, +too!" + +"Dear Monsieur Gaudron," said Madame Baudoyer, "please help my father to +compose a little speech that he could slip into the countess's ear when +he takes her the monthly stipend,--a single sentence that would cover +all! I must leave you. I am obliged to go out with my uncle Mitral. +Would you believe it? I was unable to find my uncle Bidault at home this +afternoon. Oh, what a dog-kennel he lives in! But Monsieur Mitral, who +knows his ways, says he does all his business between eight o'clock in +the morning and midday, and that after that hour he can be found only at +a certain cafe called the Cafe Themis,--a singular name." + +"Is justice done there?" said the abbe, laughing. + +"Do you ask why he goes to a cafe at the corner of the rue Dauphine and +the quai des Augustins? They say he plays dominoes there every night +with his friend Monsieur Gobseck. I don't wish to go to such a place +alone; my uncle Mitral will take me there and bring me back." + +At this instant Mitral showed his yellow face, surmounted by a wig which +looked as though it might be made of hay, and made a sign to his niece +to come at once, and not keep a carriage waiting at two francs an hour. +Madame Baudoyer rose and went away without giving any explanation to her +husband or father. + +"Heaven has given you in that woman," said Monsieur Gaudron to Baudoyer +when Elisabeth had disappeared, "a perfect treasure of prudence +and virtue, a model of wisdom, a Christian who gives sure signs of +possessing the Divine spirit. Religion alone is able to form such +perfect characters. To-morrow I shall say a mass for the success of your +good cause. It is all-important, for the sake of the monarchy and of +religion itself that you should receive this appointment. Monsieur +Rabourdin is a liberal; he subscribes to the 'Journal des Debats,' a +dangerous newspaper, which made war on Monsieur le Comte de Villele to +please the wounded vanity of Monsieur de Chateaubriand. His Eminence +will read the newspaper to-night, if only to see what is said of his +poor friend Monsieur de la Billardiere; and Monseigneur the coadjutor +will speak of you to the King. When I think of what you have now done +for his dear church, I feel sure he will not forget you in his prayers; +more than that, he is dining at this moment with the coadjutor at the +house of the curate of Saint-Roch." + +These words made Saillard and Baudoyer begin to perceive that Elisabeth +had not been idle ever since Godard had informed her of Monsieur de la +Billardiere's decease. + +"Isn't she clever, that Elisabeth of mine?" cried Saillard, +comprehending more clearly than Monsieur l'abbe the rapid undermining, +like the path of a mole, which his daughter had undertaken. + +"She sent Godard to Rabourdin's door to find out what newspaper he +takes," said Gaudron; "and I mentioned the name to the secretary of his +Eminence,--for we live at a crisis when the Church and Throne must keep +themselves informed as to who are their friends and who their enemies." + +"For the last five days I have been trying to find the right thing to +say to his Excellency's wife," said Saillard. + +"All Paris will read that," cried Baudoyer, whose eyes were still +riveted on the paper. + +"Your eulogy costs us four thousand eight hundred francs, son-in-law!" +exclaimed Madame Saillard. + +"You have adorned the house of God," said the Abbe Gaudron. + +"We might have got salvation without doing that," she returned. "But +if Baudoyer gets the place, which is worth eight thousand more, the +sacrifice is not so great. If he doesn't get it! hey, papa," she added, +looking at her husband, "how we shall have bled!--" + +"Well, never mind," said Saillard, enthusiastically, "we can always make +it up through Falleix, who is going to extend his business and use his +brother, whom he has made a stockbroker on purpose. Elisabeth might have +told us, I think, why Falleix went off in such a hurry. But let's invent +my little speech. This is what I thought of: 'Madame, if you would say a +word to his Excellency--'" + +"'If you would deign,'" said Gaudron; "add the word 'deign,' it is +more respectful. But you ought to know, first of all, whether Madame la +Dauphine will grant you her protection, and then you could suggest to +Madame la comtesse the idea of co-operating with the wishes of her Royal +Highness." + +"You ought to designate the vacant post," said Baudoyer. + +"'Madame la comtesse,'" began Saillard, rising, and bowing to his wife, +with an agreeable smile. + +"Goodness! Saillard; how ridiculous you look. Take care, my man, you'll +make the woman laugh." + +"'Madame la comtesse,'" resumed Saillard. "Is that better, wife?" + +"Yes, my duck." + +"'The place of the worthy Monsieur de la Billardiere is vacant; my +son-in-law, Monsieur Baudoyer--'" + +"'Man of talent and extreme piety,'" prompted Gaudron. + +"Write it down, Baudoyer," cried old Saillard, "write that sentence +down." + +Baudoyer proceeded to take a pen and wrote, without a blush, his own +praises, precisely as Nathan or Canalis might have reviewed one of their +own books. + +"'Madame la comtesse'--Don't you see, mother?" said Saillard to his +wife; "I am supposing you to be the minister's wife." + +"Do you take me for a fool?" she answered sharply. "I know that." + +"'The place of the late worthy de la Billardiere is vacant; my +son-in-law, Monsieur Baudoyer, a man of consummate talent and extreme +piety--'" After looking at Monsieur Gaudron, who was reflecting, he +added, "'will be very glad if he gets it.' That's not bad; it's brief +and it says the whole thing." + +"But do wait, Saillard; don't you see that Monsieur l'abbe is turning it +over in his mind?" said Madame Saillard; "don't disturb him." + +"'Will be very thankful if you would deign to interest yourself in his +behalf,'" resumed Gaudron. "'And in saying a word to his Excellency you +will particularly please Madame la Dauphine, by whom he has the honor +and the happiness to be protected.'" + +"Ah! Monsieur Gaudron, that sentence is worth more than the monstrance; +I don't regret the four thousand eight hundred--Besides, Baudoyer, my +lad, you'll pay them, won't you? Have you written it all down?" + +"I shall make you repeat it, father, morning and evening," said Madame +Saillard. "Yes, that's a good speech. How lucky you are, Monsieur +Gaudron, to know so much. That's what it is to be brought up in a +seminary; they learn there how to speak to God and his saints." + +"He is as good as he is learned," said Baudoyer, pressing the priest's +hand. "Did you write that article?" he added, pointing to the newspaper. + +"No, it was written by the secretary of his Eminence, a young abbe +who is under obligations to me, and who takes an interest in Monsieur +Colleville; he was educated at my expense." + +"A good deed is always rewarded," said Baudoyer. + +While these four personages were sitting down to their game of boston, +Elisabeth and her uncle Mitral reached the cafe Themis, with much +discourse as they drove along about a matter which Elisabeth's keen +perceptions told her was the most powerful lever that could be used to +force the minister's hand in the affair of her husband's appointment. +Uncle Mitral, a former sheriff's officer, crafty, clever at sharp +practice, and full of expedients and judicial precautions, believed the +honor of his family to be involved in the appointment of his nephew. +His avarice had long led him to estimate the contents of old Gigonnet's +strong-box, for he knew very well they would go in the end to benefit +his nephew Baudoyer; and it was therefore important that the latter +should obtain a position which would be in keeping with the combined +fortunes of the Saillards and the old Gigonnet, which would finally +devolve on the Baudoyer's little daughter; and what an heiress she would +be with an income of a hundred thousand francs! to what social position +might she not aspire with that fortune? He adopted all the ideas of his +niece Elisabeth and thoroughly understood them. He had helped in sending +off Falleix expeditiously, explaining to him the advantage of taking +post horses. After which, while eating his dinner, he reflected that +it be as well to give a twist of his own to the clever plan invented by +Elisabeth. + +When they reached the Cafe Themis he told his niece that he alone could +manage Gigonnet in the matter they both had in view, and he made her +wait in the hackney-coach and bide her time to come forward at the right +moment. Elisabeth saw through the window-panes the two faces of Gobseck +and Gigonnet (her uncle Bidault), which stood out in relief against +the yellow wood-work of the old cafe, like two cameo heads, cold and +impassible, in the rigid attitude that their gravity gave them. The two +Parisian misers were surrounded by a number of other old faces, on which +"thirty per cent discount" was written in circular wrinkles that started +from the nose and turned round the glacial cheek-bones. These remarkable +physiognomies brightened up on seeing Mitral, and their eyes gleamed +with tigerish curiosity. + +"Hey, hey! it is papa Mitral!" cried one of them, named Chaboisseau, a +little old man who discounted for a publisher. + +"Bless me, so it is!" said another, a broker named Metivier, "ha, that's +an old monkey well up in his tricks." + +"And you," retorted Mitral, "you are an old crow who knows all about +carcasses." + +"True," said the stern Gobseck. + +"What are you here for? Have you come to seize friend Metivier?" asked +Gigonnet, pointing to the broker, who had the bluff face of a porter. + +"Your great-niece Elisabeth is out there, papa Gigonnet," whispered +Mitral. + +"What! some misfortune?" said Bidault. The old man drew his eyebrows +together and assumed a tender look like that of an executioner when +about to go to work officially. In spite of his Roman virtue he must +have been touched, for his red nose lost somewhat of its color. + +"Well, suppose it is misfortune, won't you help Saillard's daughter?--a +girl who has knitted your stockings for the last thirty years!" cried +Mitral. + +"If there's good security I don't say I won't," replied Gigonnet. +"Falleix is in with them. Falleix has just set up his brother as a +broker, and he is doing as much business as the Brezacs; and what with? +his mind, perhaps! Saillard is no simpleton." + +"He knows the value of money," put in Chaboisseau. + +That remark, uttered among those old men, would have made an artist and +thinker shudder as they all nodded their heads. + +"But it is none of my business," resumed Bidault-Gigonnet. "I'm not +bound to care for my neighbors' misfortunes. My principle is never to be +off my guard with friends or relatives; you can't perish except through +weakness. Apply to Gobseck; he is softer." + +The usurers all applauded these doctrines with a shake of their metallic +heads. An onlooker would have fancied he heard the creaking of ill-oiled +machinery. + +"Come, Gigonnet, show a little feeling," said Chaboisseau, "they've knit +your stockings for thirty years." + +"That counts for something," remarked Gobseck. + +"Are you all alone? Is it safe to speak?" said Mitral, looking carefully +about him. "I come about a good piece of business." + +"If it is good, why do you come to us?" said Gigonnet, sharply, +interrupting Mitral. + +"A fellow who was a gentleman of the Bedchamber," went on Mitral, "a +former 'chouan,'--what's his name?--La Billardiere is dead." + +"True," said Gobseck. + +"And our nephew is giving monstrances to the church," snarled Gigonnet. + +"He is not such a fool as to give them, he sells them, old man," said +Mitral, proudly. "He wants La Billardiere's place, and in order to get +it, we must seize--" + +"Seize! You'll never be anything but a sheriff's officer," put in +Metivier, striking Mitral amicably on the shoulder; "I like that, I do!" + +"Seize Monsieur Clement des Lupeaulx in our clutches," continued Mitral; +"Elisabeth has discovered how to do it, and he is--" + +"Elisabeth"; cried Gigonnet, interrupting again; "dear little creature! +she takes after her grandfather, my poor brother! he never had his +equal! Ah, you should have seen him buying up old furniture; what tact! +what shrewdness! What does Elisabeth want?" + +"Hey! hey!" cried Mitral, "you've got back your bowels of compassion, +papa Gigonnet! That phenomenon has a cause." + +"Always a child," said Gobseck to Gigonnet, "you are too quick on the +trigger." + +"Come, Gobseck and Gigonnet, listen to me; you want to keep well with +des Lupeaulx, don't you? You've not forgotten how you plucked him in +that affair about the king's debts, and you are afraid he'll ask you to +return some of his feathers," said Mitral. + +"Shall we tell him the whole thing?" asked Gobseck, whispering to +Gigonnet. + +"Mitral is one of us; he wouldn't play a shabby trick on his former +customers," replied Gigonnet. "You see, Mitral," he went on, speaking to +the ex-sheriff in a low voice, "we three have just bought up all those +debts, the payment of which depends on the decision of the liquidation +committee." + +"How much will you lose?" asked Mitral. + +"Nothing," said Gobseck. + +"Nobody knows we are in it," added Gigonnet; "Samanon screens us." + +"Come, listen to me, Gigonnet; it is cold, and your niece is waiting +outside. You'll understand what I want in two words. You must at +once, between you, send two hundred and fifty thousand francs (without +interest) into the country after Falleix, who has gone post-haste, with +a courier in advance of him." + +"Is it possible!" said Gobseck. + +"What for?" cried Gigonnet, "and where to?" + +"To des Lupeaulx's magnificent country-seat," replied Mitral. "Falleix +knows the country, for he was born there; and he is going to buy up +land all round the secretary's miserable hovel, with the two hundred +and fifty thousand francs I speak of,--good land, well worth the price. +There are only nine days before us for drawing up and recording the +notarial deeds (bear that in mind). With the addition of this land, des +Lupeaulx's present miserable property would pay taxes to the amount of +one thousand francs, the sum necessary to make a man eligible to the +Chamber. Ergo, with it des Lupeaulx goes into the electoral college, +becomes eligible, count, and whatever he pleases. You know the deputy +who has slipped out and left a vacancy, don't you?" + +The two misers nodded. + +"Des Lupeaulx would cut off a leg to get elected in his place," +continued Mitral; "but he must have the title-deeds of the property in +his own name, and then mortgage them back to us for the amount of the +purchase-money. Ah! now you begin to see what I am after! First of all, +we must make sure of Baudoyer's appointment, and des Lupeaulx will get +it for us on these terms; after that is settled we will hand him back +to you. Falleix is now canvassing the electoral vote. Don't you +perceive that you have Lupeaulx completely in your power until after the +election?--for Falleix's friends are a large majority. Now do you see +what I mean, papa Gigonnet?" + +"It's a clever game," said Metivier. + +"We'll do it," said Gigonnet; "you agree, don't you, Gobseck? Falleix +can give us security and put mortgages on the property in my name; we'll +go and see des Lupeaulx when all is ready." + +"We're robbed," said Gobseck. + +"Ha, ha!" laughed Mitral, "I'd like to know the robber!" + +"Nobody can rob us but ourselves," answered Gigonnet. "I told you we +were doing a good thing in buying up all des Lupeaulx's paper from his +creditors at sixty per cent discount." + +"Take this mortgage on his estate and you'll hold him tighter still +through the interest," answered Mitral. + +"Possibly," said Gobseck. + +After exchanging a shrewd look with Gobseck, Gigonnet went to the door +of the cafe. + +"Elisabeth! follow it up, my dear," he said to his niece. "We hold your +man securely; but don't neglect accessories. You have begun well, clever +woman! go on as you began and you'll have your uncle's esteem," and he +grasped her hand, gayly. + +"But," said Mitral, "Metivier and Chaboisseau heard it all, and they +may play us a trick and tell the matter to some opposition journal +which would catch the ball on its way and counteract the effect of the +ministerial article. You must go alone, my dear; I dare not let those +two cormorants out of my sight." So saying he re-entered the cafe. + +The next day the numerous subscribers to a certain liberal journal read, +among the Paris items, the following article, inserted authoritatively +by Chaboisseau and Metivier, share-holders in the said journal, brokers +for publishers, printers, and paper-makers, whose behests no editor +dared refuse:-- + + "Yesterday a ministerial journal plainly indicated as the probable + successor of Monsieur le Baron de la Billardiere, Monsieur + Baudoyer, one of the worthiest citizens of a populous quarter, + where his benevolence is scarcely less known than the piety on + which the ministerial organ laid so much stress. Why was that + sheet silent as to his talents? Did it reflect that in boasting of + the bourgeoise nobility of Monsieur Baudoyer--which, certainly, is + a nobility as good as any other--it was pointing out a reason for + the exclusion of the candidate? A gratuitous piece of perfidy! an + attempt to kill with a caress! To appoint Monsieur Baudoyer is to + do honor to the virtues, the talents of the middle classes, of + whom we shall ever be the supporters, though their cause seems at + times a lost one. This appointment, we repeat, will be an act of + justice and good policy; consequently we may be sure it will not + be made." + +On the morrow, Friday, the usual day for the dinner given by Madame +Rabourdin, whom des Lupeaulx had left at midnight, radiant in beauty, on +the staircase of the Bouffons, arm in arm with Madame de Camps (Madame +Firmiani had lately married), the old roue awoke with his thoughts +of vengeance calmed, or rather refreshed, and his mind full of a last +glance exchanged with Celestine. + +"I'll make sure of Rabourdin's support by forgiving him now,--I'll get +even with him later. If he hasn't this place for the time being I should +have to give up a woman who is capable of becoming a most precious +instrument in the pursuit of high political fortune. She understands +everything; shrinks from nothing, from no idea whatever!--and besides, +I can't know before his Excellency what new scheme of administration +Rabourdin has invented. No, my dear des Lupeaulx, the thing in hand is +to win all now for your Celestine. You may make as many faces as you +please, Madame la comtesse, but you will invite Madame Rabourdin to your +next select party." + +Des Lupeaulx was one of those men who to satisfy a passion are quite +able to put away revenge in some dark corner of their minds. His course +was taken; he was resolved to get Rabourdin appointed. + +"I will prove to you, my dear fellow, that I deserve a good place in +your galley," thought he as he seated himself in his study and began to +unfold a newspaper. + +He knew so well what the ministerial organ would contain that he rarely +took the trouble to read it, but on this occasion he did open it to +look at the article on La Billardiere, recollecting with amusement the +dilemma in which du Bruel had put him by bringing him the night before +Bixiou's amendments to the obituary. He was laughing to himself as he +reread the biography of the late Comte da Fontaine, dead a few months +earlier, which he had hastily substituted for that of La Billardiere, +when his eyes were dazzled by the name of Baudoyer. He read with fury +the article which pledged the minister, and then he rang violently for +Dutocq, to send him at once to the editor. But what was his astonishment +on reading the reply of the opposition paper! The situation was +evidently serious. He knew the game, and he saw that the man who was +shuffling his cards for him was a Greek of the first order. To dictate +in this way through two opposing newspapers in one evening, and to begin +the fight by forestalling the intentions of the minister was a daring +game! He recognized the pen of a liberal editor, and resolved to +question him that night at the opera. Dutocq appeared. + +"Read that," said des Lupeaulx, handing him over the two journals, and +continuing to run his eye over others to see if Baudoyer had pulled +any further wires. "Go to the office and ask who has dared to thus +compromise the minister." + +"It was not Monsieur Baudoyer himself," answered Dutocq, "for he never +left the ministry yesterday. I need not go and inquire; for when I took +your article to the newspaper office I met a young abbe who brought in a +letter from the Grand Almoner, before which you yourself would have had +to bow." + +"Dutocq, you have a grudge against Monsieur Rabourdin, and it isn't +right; for he has twice saved you from being turned out. However, we +are not masters of our own feelings; we sometimes hate our benefactors. +Only, remember this; if you show the slightest treachery to Rabourdin, +without my permission, it will be your ruin. As to that newspaper, +let the Grand Almoner subscribe as largely as we do, if he wants +its services. Here we are at the end of the year; the matter of +subscriptions will come up for discussion, and I shall have something to +say on that head. As to La Billardiere's place, there is only one way to +settle the matter; and that is to appoint Rabourdin this very day." + +"Gentlemen," said Dutocq, returning to the clerks' office and addressing +his colleagues. "I don't know if Bixiou has the art of looking into +futurity, but if you have not read the ministerial journal I advise you +to study the article about Baudoyer; then, as Monsieur Fleury takes the +opposition sheet, you can see the reply. Monsieur Rabourdin certainly +has talent, but a man who in these days gives a six-thousand-franc +monstrance to the Church has a devilish deal more talent than he." + +Bixiou [entering]. "What say you, gentlemen, to the First Epistle to the +Corinthians in our pious ministerial journal, and the reply Epistle to +the Ministers in the opposition sheet? How does Monsieur Rabourdin feel +now, du Bruel?" + +Du Bruel [rushing in]. "I don't know." [He drags Bixiou back into his +cabinet, and says in a low voice] "My good fellow, your way of helping +people is like that of the hangman who jumps upon a victim's shoulders +to break his neck. You got me into a scrape with des Lupeaulx, which my +folly in ever trusting you richly deserved. A fine thing indeed, that +article on La Billardiere. I sha'n't forget the trick! Why, the very +first sentence was as good as telling the King he was superannuated and +it was time for him to die. And as to that Quiberon bit, it said plainly +that the King was a--What a fool I was!" + +Bixiou [laughing]. "Bless my heart! are you getting angry? Can't a +fellow joke any more?" + +Du Bruel. "Joke! joke indeed. When you want to be made head-clerk +somebody shall joke with you, my dear fellow." + +Bixiou [in a bullying tone]. "Angry, are we?" + +Du Bruel. "Yes!" + +Bixiou [dryly]. "So much the worse for you." + +Du Bruel [uneasy]. "You wouldn't pardon such a thing yourself, I know." + +Bixiou [in a wheedling tone]. "To a friend? indeed I would." [They hear +Fleury's voice.] "There's Fleury cursing Baudoyer. Hey, how well +the thing has been managed! Baudoyer will get the appointment." +[Confidentially] "After all, so much the better. Du Bruel, just keep +your eye on the consequences. Rabourdin would be a mean-spirited +creature to stay under Baudoyer; he will send in his registration, and +that will give us two places. You can be head of the bureau and take me +for under-head-clerk. We will make vaudevilles together, and I'll fag at +your work in the office." + +Du Bruel [smiling]. "Dear me, I never thought of that. Poor Rabourdin! I +shall be sorry for him, though." + +Bixiou. "That shows how much you love him!" [Changing his tone] "Ah, +well, I don't pity him any longer. He's rich; his wife gives parties and +doesn't ask me,--me, who go everywhere! Well, good-bye, my dear fellow, +good-bye, and don't owe me a grudge!" [He goes out through the clerks' +office.] "Adieu, gentlemen; didn't I tell you yesterday that a man who +has nothing but virtues and talents will always be poor, even though he +has a pretty wife?" + +Henry. "You are so rich, you!" + +Bixiou. "Not bad, my Cincinnatus! But you'll give me that dinner at the +Rocher de Cancale." + +Poiret. "It is absolutely impossible for me to understand Monsieur +Bixiou." + +Phellion [with an elegaic air]. "Monsieur Rabourdin so seldom reads the +newspapers that it might perhaps be serviceable to deprive ourselves +momentarily by taking them in to him." [Fleury hands over his paper, +Vimeux the office sheet, and Phellion departs with them.] + +At that moment des Lupeaulx, coming leisurely downstairs to breakfast +with the minister, was asking himself whether, before playing a trump +card for the husband, it might not be prudent to probe the wife's heart +and make sure of a reward for his devotion. He was feeling about for +the small amount of heart that he possessed, when, at a turn of the +staircase, he encountered his lawyer, who said to him, smiling, "Just a +word, Monseigneur," in the tone of familiarity assumed by men who know +they are indispensable. + +"What is it, my dear Desroches?" exclaimed the politician. "Has anything +happened?" + +"I have come to tell you that all your notes and debts have been brought +up by Gobseck and Gigonnet, under the name of a certain Samanon." + +"Men whom I helped to make their millions!" + +"Listen," whispered the lawyer. "Gigonnet (really named Bidault) is +the uncle of Saillard, your cashier; and Saillard is father-in-law to a +certain Baudoyer, who thinks he has a right to the vacant place in your +ministry. Don't you think I have done right to come and tell you?" + +"Thank you," said des Lupeaulx, nodding to the lawyer with a shrewd +look. + +"One stroke of your pen will buy them off," said Desroches, leaving him. + +"What an immense sacrifice!" muttered des Lupeaulx. "It would be +impossible to explain it to a woman," thought he. "Is Celestine worth +more than the clearing off of my debts?--that is the question. I'll go +and see her this morning." + +So the beautiful Madame Rabourdin was to be, within an hour, the arbiter +of her husband's fate, and no power on earth could warn her of the +importance of her replies, or give her the least hint to guard her +conduct and compose her voice. Moreover, in addition to her mischances, +she believed herself certain of success, never dreaming that Rabourdin +was undermined in all directions by the secret sapping of the mollusks. + +"Well, Monseigneur," said des Lupeaulx, entering the little salon where +they breakfasted, "have you seen the articles on Baudoyer?" + +"For God's sake, my dear friend," replied the minister, "don't talk of +those appointments just now; let me have an hour's peace! They cracked +my ears last night with that monstrance. The only way to save Rabourdin +is to bring his appointment before the Council, unless I submit to +having my hand forced. It is enough to disgust a man with the public +service. I must purchase the right to keep that excellent Rabourdin by +promoting a certain Colleville!" + +"Why not make over the management of this pretty little comedy to me, +and rid yourself of the worry of it? I'll amuse you every morning with +an account of the game of chess I should play with the Grand Almoner," +said des Lupeaulx. + +"Very good," said the minister, "settle it with the head examiner. But +you know perfectly well that nothing is more likely to strike the king's +mind than just those reasons the opposition journal has chosen to put +forth. Good heavens! fancy managing a ministry with such men as Baudoyer +under me!" + +"An imbecile bigot," said des Lupeaulx, "and as utterly incapable as--" + +"--as La Billardiere," added the minister. + +"But La Billardiere had the manners of a gentleman-in-ordinary," replied +des Lupeaulx. "Madame," he continued, addressing the countess, "it +is now an absolute necessity to invite Madame Rabourdin to your next +private party. I must assure you she is the intimate friend of Madame +de Camps; they were at the Opera together last night. I first met her at +the hotel Firmiani. Besides, you will see that she is not of a kind to +compromise a salon." + +"Invite Madame Rabourdin, my dear," said the minister, "and pray let us +talk of something else." + + + + +CHAPTER VII. SCENES FROM DOMESTIC LIFE + + +Parisian households are literally eaten up with the desire to be in +keeping with the luxury that surrounds them on all sides, and few there +are who have the wisdom to let their external situation conform to +their internal revenue. But this vice may perhaps denote a truly French +patriotism, which seeks to maintain the supremacy of the nation in the +matter of dress. France reigns through clothes over the whole of Europe; +and every one must feel the importance of retaining a commercial sceptre +that makes fashion in France what the navy is to England. This patriotic +ardor which leads a nation to sacrifice everything to appearances--to +the "paroistre," as d'Aubigne said in the days of Henri IV.--is the +cause of those vast secret labors which employ the whole of a Parisian +woman's morning, when she wishes, as Madame Rabourdin wished, to keep +up on twelve thousand francs a year the style that many a family with +thirty thousand does not indulge in. Consequently, every Friday,--the +day of her dinner parties,--Madame Rabourdin helped the chambermaid to +do the rooms; for the cook went early to market, and the man-servant was +cleaning the silver, folding the napkins, and polishing the glasses. +The ill-advised individual who might happen, through an oversight of the +porter, to enter Madame Rabourdin's establishment about eleven o'clock +in the morning would have found her in the midst of a disorder +the reverse of picturesque, wrapped in a dressing-gown, her hair +ill-dressed, and her feet in old slippers, attending to the lamps, +arranging the flowers, or cooking in haste an extremely unpoetic +breakfast. The visitor to whom the mysteries of Parisian life were +unknown would certainly have learned for the rest of his life not to +set foot in these greenrooms at the wrong moment; a woman caught in her +matin mysteries would ever after point him out as a man capable of the +blackest crimes; or she would talk of his stupidity and indiscretion +in a manner to ruin him. The true Parisian woman, indulgent to all +curiosity that she can put to profit, is implacable to that which makes +her lose her prestige. Such a domiciliary invasion may be called, +not only (as they say in police reports) an attack on privacy, but a +burglary, a robbery of all that is most precious, namely, CREDIT. A +woman is quite willing to let herself be surprised half-dressed, with +her hair about her shoulders. If her hair is all her own she scores one; +but she will never allow herself to be seen "doing" her own rooms, or +she loses her pariostre,--that precious /seeming-to-be/! + +Madame Rabourdin was in full tide of preparation for her Friday dinner, +standing in the midst of provisions the cook had just fished from the +vast ocean of the markets, when Monsieur des Lupeaulx made his way +stealthily in. The general-secretary was certainly the last man Madame +Rabourdin expected to see, and so, when she heard his boots creaking +in the ante-chamber, she exclaimed, impatiently, "The hair-dresser +already!"--an exclamation as little agreeable to des Lupeaulx as the +sight of des Lupeaulx was agreeable to her. She immediately escaped into +her bedroom, where chaos reigned; a jumble of furniture to be put out +of sight, with other heterogeneous articles of more or rather less +elegance,--a domestic carnival, in short. The bold des Lupeaulx followed +the handsome figure, so piquant did she seem to him in her dishabille. +There is something indescribably alluring to the eye in a portion of +flesh seen through an hiatus in the undergarment, more attractive far +than when it rises gracefully above the circular curve of the velvet +bodice, to the vanishing line of the prettiest swan's-neck that ever +lover kissed before a ball. When the eye dwells on a woman in full dress +making exhibition of her magnificent white shoulders, do we not fancy +that we see the elegant dessert of a grand dinner? But the glance that +glides through the disarray of muslins rumpled in sleep enjoys, as it +were, a feast of stolen fruit glowing between the leaves on a garden +wall. + +"Stop! wait!" cried the pretty Parisian, bolting the door of the +disordered room. + +She rang for Therese, called for her daughter, the cook, and the +man-servant, wishing she possessed the whistle of the machinist at +the Opera. Her call, however, answered the same purpose. In a moment, +another phenomenon! the salon assumed a piquant morning look, quite in +keeping with the becoming toilet hastily got together by the fugitive; +we say it to her glory, for she was evidently a clever woman, in this at +least. + +"You!" she said, coming forward, "at this hour? What has happened?" + +"Very serious things," answered des Lupeaulx. "You and I must understand +each other now." + +Celestine looked at the man behind his glasses, and understood the +matter. + +"My principle vice," she said, "is oddity. For instance, I do not mix +up affections with politics; let us talk politics,--business, if you +will,--the rest can come later. However, it is not really oddity nor +a whim that forbids me to mingle ill-assorted colors and put together +things that have no affinity, and compels me to avoid discords; it is my +natural instinct as an artist. We women have politics of our own." + +Already the tones of her voice and the charm of her manners were +producing their effect on the secretary and metamorphosing his roughness +into sentimental courtesy; she had recalled him to his obligations as a +lover. A clever pretty woman makes an atmosphere about her in which the +nerves relax and the feelings soften. + +"You are ignorant of what is happening," said des Lupeaulx, harshly, for +he still thought it best to make a show of harshness. "Read that." + +He gave the two newspapers to the graceful woman, having drawn a line in +red ink round each of the famous articles. + +"Good heavens!" she exclaimed, "but this is dreadful! Who is this +Baudoyer?" + +"A donkey," answered des Lupeaulx; "but, as you see, he uses means,--he +gives monstrances; he succeeds, thanks to some clever hand that pulls +the wires." + +The thought of her debts crossed Madame Rabourdin's mind and blurred +her sight, as if two lightning flashes had blinded her eyes at the same +moment; her ears hummed under the pressure of the blood that began to +beat in her arteries; she remained for a moment quite bewildered, gazing +at a window which she did not see. + +"But are you faithful to us?" she said at last, with a winning glance at +des Lupeaulx, as if to attach him to her. + +"That is as it may be," he replied, answering her glance with an +interrogative look which made the poor woman blush. + +"If you demand caution-money you may lose all," she said, laughing; "I +thought you more magnanimous than you are. And you, you thought me less +a person than I am,--a sort of school-girl." + +"You have misunderstood me," he said, with a covert smile; "I meant that +I could not assist a man who plays against me just as l'Etourdi played +against Mascarille." + +"What can you mean?" + +"This will prove to you whether I am magnanimous or not." + +He gave Madame Rabourdin the memorandum stolen by Dutocq, pointing out +to her the passage in which her husband had so ably analyzed him. + +"Read that." + +Celestine recognized the handwriting, read the paper, and turned pale +under the blow. + +"All the ministries, the whole service is treated in the same way," said +des Lupeaulx. + +"Happily," she said, "you alone possess this document. I cannot explain +it, even to myself." + +"The man who stole it is not such a fool as to let me have it without +keeping a copy for himself; he is too great a liar to admit it, and too +clever in his business to give it up. I did not even ask him for it." + +"Who is he?" + +"Your chief clerk." + +"Dutocq! People are always punished through their kindnesses! But," she +added, "he is only a dog who wants a bone." + +"Do you know what the other side offer me, poor devil of a +general-secretary?" + +"What?" + +"I owe thirty-thousand and odd miserable francs,--you will despise me +because it isn't more, but here, I grant you, I am significant. Well, +Baudoyer's uncle has bought up my debts, and is, doubtless, ready to +give me a receipt for them if Baudoyer is appointed." + +"But all that is monstrous." + +"Not at all; it is monarchical and religious, for the Grand Almoner is +concerned in it. Baudoyer himself must appoint Colleville in return for +ecclesiastical assistance." + +"What shall you do?" + +"What will you bid me do?" he said, with charming grace, holding out his +hand. + +Celestine no longer thought him ugly, nor old, nor white and chilling as +a hoar-frost, nor indeed anything that was odious and offensive, but she +did not give him her hand. At night, in her salon, she would have let +him take it a hundred times, but here, alone and in the morning, the +action seemed too like a promise that might lead her far. + +"And they say that statesmen have no hearts!" she cried +enthusiastically, trying to hide the harshness of her refusal under +the grace of her words. "The thought used to terrify me," she added, +assuming an innocent, ingenuous air. + +"What a calumny!" cried des Lupeaulx. "Only this week one of the +stiffest of diplomatists, a man who has been in the service ever since +he came to manhood, has married the daughter of an actress, and has +introduced her at the most iron-bound court in Europe as to quarterings +of nobility." + +"You will continue to support us?" + +"I am to draw up your husband's appointment--But no cheating, remember." + +She gave him her hand to kiss, and tapped him on the cheek as she did +so. "You are mine!" she said. + +Des Lupeaulx admired the expression. + +[That night, at the Opera, the old coxcomb related the incident as +follows: "A woman who did not want to tell a man she would be his,--an +acknowledgment a well-bred woman never allows herself to make,--changed +the words into 'You are mine.' Don't you think the evasion charming?"] + +"But you must be my ally," he answered. "Now listen, your husband has +spoken to the minister of a plan for the reform of the administration; +the paper I have shown you is a part of that plan. I want to know what +it is. Find out, and tell me to-night." + +"I will," she answered, wholly unaware of the important nature of the +errand which brought des Lupeaulx to the house that morning. + +"Madame, the hair-dresser." + +"At last!" thought Celestine. "I don't see how I should have got out of +it if he had delayed much longer." + +"You do not know to what lengths my devotion can go," said des Lupeaulx, +rising. "You shall be invited to the first select party given by his +Excellency's wife." + +"Ah, you are an angel!" she cried. "And I see now how much you love me; +you love me intelligently." + +"To-night, dear child," he said, "I shall find out at the Opera what +journalists are conspiring for Baudoyer, and we will measure swords +together." + +"Yes, but you must dine with us, will you not? I have taken pains to get +the things you like best--" + +"All that is so like love," said des Lupeaulx to himself as he went +downstairs, "that I am willing to be deceived in that way for a +long time. Well, if she IS tricking me I shall know it. I'll set the +cleverest of all traps before the appointment is fairly signed, and I'll +read her heart. Ah! my little cats, I know you! for, after all, women +are just what we men are. Twenty-eight years old, virtuous, and living +here in the rue Duphot!--a rare piece of luck and worth cultivating," +thought the elderly butterfly as he fluttered down the staircase. + +"Good heavens! that man, without his glasses, must look funny enough in +a dressing-gown!" thought Celestine, "but the harpoon is in his back and +he'll tow me where I want to go; I am sure now of that invitation. He +has played his part in my comedy." + +When, at five o'clock in the afternoon, Rabourdin came home to dress for +dinner, his wife presided at his toilet and presently laid before him +the fatal memorandum which, like the slipper in the Arabian Nights, the +luckless man was fated to meet at every turn. + +"Who gave you that?" he asked, thunderstruck. + +"Monsieur des Lupeaulx." + +"So he has been here!" cried Rabourdin, with a look which would +certainly have made a guilty woman turn pale, but which Celestine +received with unruffled brow and a laughing eye. + +"And he is coming back to dinner," she said. "Why that startled air?" + +"My dear," replied Rabourdin, "I have mortally offended des Lupeaulx; +such men never forgive, and yet he fawns upon me! Do you think I don't +see why?" + +"The man seems to me," she said, "to have good taste; you can't expect +me to blame him. I really don't know anything more flattering to a woman +than to please a worn-out palate. After--" + +"A truce to nonsense, Celestine. Spare a much-tried man. I cannot get an +audience of the minister, and my honor is at stake." + +"Good heavens, no! Dutocq can have the promise of a good place as soon +as you are named head of the division." + +"Ah! I see what you are about, dear child," said Rabourdin; "but the +game you are playing is just as dishonorable as the real thing that is +going on around us. A lie is a lie, and an honest woman--" + +"Let me use the weapons employed against us." + +"Celestine, the more that man des Lupeaulx feels he is foolishly caught +in a trap, the more bitter he will be against me." + +"What if I get him dismissed altogether?" + +Rabourdin looked at his wife in amazement. + +"I am thinking only of your advancement; it was high time, my poor +husband," continued Celestine. "But you are mistaking the dog for the +game," she added, after a pause. "In a few days des Lupeaulx will have +accomplished all that I want of him. While you are trying to speak to +the minister, and before you can even see him on business, I shall have +seen him and spoken with him. You are worn out in trying to bring that +plan of your brain to birth,--a plan which you have been hiding from me; +but you will find that in three months your wife has accomplished more +than you have done in six years. Come, tell me this fine scheme of +yours." + +Rabourdin, continuing to shave, cautioned his wife not to say a word +about his work, and after assuring her that to confide a single idea +to des Lupeaulx would be to put the cat near the milk-jug, he began an +explanation of his labors. + +"Why didn't you tell me this before, Rabourdin?" said Celestine, cutting +her husband short at his fifth sentence. "You might have saved yourself +a world of trouble. I can understand that a man should be blinded by an +idea for a moment, but to nurse it up for six or seven years, that's a +thing I cannot comprehend! You want to reduce the budget,--a vulgar +and commonplace idea! The budget ought, on the contrary, to reach two +hundred millions. Then, indeed, France would be great. If you want a new +system let it be one of loans, as Monsieur de Nucingen keeps saying. The +poorest of all treasuries is the one with a surplus that it never +uses; the mission of a minister of finance is to fling gold out of the +windows. It will come back to him through the cellars; and you, you +want to hoard it! The thing to do is to increase the offices and all +government employments, instead of reducing them! So far from lessening +the public debt, you ought to increase the creditors. If the Bourbons +want to reign in peace, let them seek creditors in the towns and +villages, and place their loans there; above all, they ought not to +let foreigners draw interest away from France; some day an alien nation +might ask us for the capital. Whereas if capital and interest are held +only in France, neither France nor credit can perish. That's what saved +England. Your plan is the tradesman's plan. An ambitious public man +should produce some bold scheme,--he should make himself another Law, +without Law's fatal ill-luck; he ought to exhibit the power of credit, +and show that we should reduce, not principal, but interest, as they do +in England." + +"Come, come, Celestine," said Rabourdin; "mix up ideas as much as +you please, and make fun of them,--I'm accustomed to that; but don't +criticise a work of which you know nothing as yet." + +"Do I need," she asked, "to know a scheme the essence of which is to +govern France with a civil service of six thousand men instead of twenty +thousand? My dear friend, even allowing it were the plan of a man of +genius, a king of France who attempted to carry it out would get himself +dethroned. You can keep down a feudal aristocracy by levelling a few +heads, but you can't subdue a hydra with thousands. And is it with the +present ministers--between ourselves, a wretched crew--that you expect +to carry out your reform? No, no; change the monetary system if you +will, but do not meddle with men, with little men; they cry out too +much, whereas gold is dumb." + +"But, Celestine, if you will talk, and put wit before argument, we shall +never understand each other." + +"Understand! I understand what that paper, in which you have analyzed +the capacities of the men in office, will lead to," she replied, paying +no attention to what her husband said. "Good heavens! you have sharpened +the axe to cut off your own head. Holy Virgin! why didn't you consult +me? I could have at least prevented you from committing anything to +writing, or, at any rate, if you insisted on putting it to paper, I +would have written it down myself, and it should never have left this +house. Good God! to think that he never told me! That's what men are! +capable of sleeping with the wife of their bosom for seven years, and +keeping a secret from her! Hiding their thoughts from a poor woman for +seven years!--doubting her devotion!" + +"But," cried Rabourdin, provoked, "for eleven years and more I have been +unable to discuss anything with you because you insist on cutting me +short and substituting your ideas for mine. You know nothing at all +about my scheme." + +"Nothing! I know all." + +"Then tell it to me!" cried Rabourdin, angry for the first time since +his marriage. + +"There! it is half-past six o'clock; finish shaving and dress at once," +she cried hastily, after the fashion of women when pressed on a point +they are not ready to talk of. "I must go; we'll adjourn the discussion, +for I don't want to be nervous on a reception-day. Good heavens! the +poor soul!" she thought, as she left the room, "it /is/ hard to be in +labor for seven years and bring forth a dead child! And not trust his +wife!" + +She went back into the room. + +"If you had listened to me you would never had interceded to keep your +chief clerk; he stole that abominable paper, and has, no doubt, kept a +fac-simile of it. Adieu, man of genius!" + +Then she noticed the almost tragic expression of her husband's grief; +she felt she had gone too far, and ran to him, seized him just as he +was, all lathered with soap-suds, and kissed him tenderly. + +"Dear Xavier, don't be vexed," she said. "To-night, after the people +are gone, we will study your plan; you shall speak at your ease,--I will +listen just as long as you wish me to. Isn't that nice of me? What do I +want better than to be the wife of Mohammed?" + +She began to laugh; and Rabourdin laughed too, for the soapsuds were +clinging to Celestine's lips, and her voice had the tones of the purest +and most steadfast affection. + +"Go and dress, dear child; and above all, don't say a word of this to +des Lupeaulx. Swear you will not. That is the only punishment that I +impose--" + +"/Impose/!" she cried. "Then I won't swear anything." + +"Come, come, Celestine, I said in jest a really serious thing." + +"To-night," she said, "I mean your general-secretary to know whom I am +really intending to attack; he has given me the means." + +"Attack whom?" + +"The minister," she answered, drawing himself up. "We are to be invited +to his wife's private parties." + +In spite of his Celestine's loving caresses, Rabourdin, as he finished +dressing, could not prevent certain painful thoughts from clouding his +brow. + +"Will she ever appreciate me?" he said to himself. "She does not +even understand that she is the sole incentive of my whole work. How +wrong-headed, and yet how excellent a mind!--If I had not married I +might now have been high in office and rich. I could have saved half my +salary; my savings well-invested would have given me to-day ten thousand +francs a year outside of my office, and I might then have become, +through a good marriage--Yes, that is all true," he exclaimed, +interrupting himself, "but I have Celestine and my two children." The +man flung himself back on his happiness. To the best of married lives +there come moments of regret. He entered the salon and looked around +him. "There are not two women in Paris who understand making life +pleasant as she does. To keep such a home as this on twelve thousand +francs a year!" he thought, looking at the flower-stands bright with +bloom, and thinking of the social enjoyments that were about to gratify +his vanity. "She was made to be the wife of a minister. When I think of +his Excellency's wife, and how little she helps him! the good woman is a +comfortable middle-class dowdy, and when she goes to the palace or into +society--" He pinched his lips together. Very busy men are apt to have +very ignorant notions about household matters, and you can make them +believe that a hundred thousand francs afford little or that twelve +thousand afford all. + +Though impatiently expected, and in spite of the flattering dishes +prepared for the palate of the gourmet-emeritus, des Lupeaulx did not +come to dinner; in fact he came in very late, about midnight, an +hour when company dwindles and conversations become intimate and +confidential. Andoche Finot, the journalist, was one of the few +remaining guests. + +"I now know all," said des Lupeaulx, when he was comfortably seated on a +sofa at the corner of the fireplace, a cup of tea in his hand and Madame +Rabourdin standing before him with a plate of sandwiches and some slices +of cake very appropriately called "leaden cake." "Finot, my dear and +witty friend, you can render a great service to our gracious queen +by letting loose a few dogs upon the men we were talking of. You have +against you," he said to Rabourdin, lowering his voice so as to be +heard only by the three persons whom he addressed, "a set of usurers and +priests--money and the church. The article in the liberal journal +was instituted by an old money-lender to whom the paper was under +obligations; but the young fellow who wrote it cares nothing about it. +The paper is about to change hands, and in three days more will be on +our side. The royalist opposition,--for we have, thanks to Monsieur de +Chateaubriand, a royalist opposition, that is to say, royalists who +have gone over to the liberals,--however, there's no need to discuss +political matters now,--these assassins of Charles X. have promised me +to support your appointment at the price of our acquiescence in one of +their amendments. All my batteries are manned. If they threaten us with +Baudoyer we shall say to the clerical phalanx, 'Such and such a paper +and such and such men will attack your measures and the whole press will +be against you' (for even the ministerial journals which I influence +will be deaf and dumb, won't they, Finot?). 'Appoint Rabourdin, a +faithful servant, and public opinion is with you--'" + +"Hi, hi!" laughed Finot. + +"So, there's no need to be uneasy," said des Lupeaulx. "I have arranged +it all to-night; the Grand Almoner must yield." + +"I would rather have had less hope, and you to dinner," whispered +Celestine, looking at him with a vexed air which might very well pass +for an expression of wounded love. + +"This must win my pardon," he returned, giving her an invitation to the +ministry for the following Tuesday. + +Celestine opened the letter, and a flush of pleasure came into her face. +No enjoyment can be compared to that of gratified vanity. + +"You know what the countess's Tuesdays are," said des Lupeaulx, with a +confidential air. "To the usual ministerial parties they are what the +'Petit-Chateau' is to a court ball. You will be at the heart of +power! You will see there the Comtesse Feraud, who is still in favor +notwithstanding Louis XVIII.'s death, Delphine de Nucingen, Madame de +Listomere, the Marquise d'Espard, and your dear Firmiani; I have had +her invited to give you her support in case the other women attempt to +black-ball you. I long to see you in the midst of them." + +Celestine threw up her head like a thoroughbred before the race, and +re-read the invitation just as Baudoyer and Saillard had re-read the +articles about themselves in the newspapers, without being able to quaff +enough of it. + +"/There/ first, and /next/ at the Tuileries," she said to des Lupeaulx, +who was startled by the words and by the attitude of the speaker, so +expressive were they of ambition and security. + +"Can it be that I am only a stepping-stone?" he asked himself. He +rose, and went into Madame Rabourdin's bedroom, where she followed him, +understanding from a motion of his head that he wished to speak to her +privately. + +"Well, your husband's plan," he said; "what of it?" + +"Bah! the useless nonsense of an honest man!" she replied. "He wants +to suppress fifteen thousand offices and do the work with five or six +thousand. You never heard of such nonsense; I will let you read the +whole document when copied; it is written in perfect good faith. +His analysis of the officials was prompted only by his honesty and +rectitude,--poor dear man!" + +Des Lupeaulx was all the more reassured by the genuine laugh which +accompanied these jesting and contemptuous words, because he was a judge +of lying and knew that Celestine spoke in good faith. + +"But still, what is at the bottom of it all?" he asked. + +"Well, he wants to do away with the land-tax and substitute taxes on +consumption." + +"Why it is over a year since Francois Keller and Nucingen proposed some +such plan, and the minister himself is thinking of a reduction of the +land-tax." + +"There!" exclaimed Celestine, "I told him there was nothing new in his +scheme." + +"No; but he is on the same ground with the best financier of the +epoch,--the Napoleon of finance. Something may come of it. Your husband +must surely have some special ideas in his method of putting the scheme +into practice." + +"No, it is all commonplace," she said, with a disdainful curl of her +lip. "Just think of governing France with five or six thousand offices, +when what is really needed is that everybody in France should be +personally enlisted in the support of the government." + +Des Lupeaulx seemed satisfied that Rabourdin, to whom in his own mind he +had granted remarkable talents, was really a man of mediocrity. + +"Are you quite sure of the appointment? You don't want a bit of feminine +advice?" she said. + +"You women are greater adepts than we in refined treachery," he said, +nodding. + +"Well, then, say /Baudoyer/ to the court and clergy, to divert suspicion +and put them to sleep, and then, at the last moment, write /Rabourdin/." + +"There are some women who say /yes/ as long as they need a man, and /no/ +when he has played his part," returned des Lupeaulx, significantly. + +"I know they do," she answered, laughing; "but they are very foolish, +for in politics everything recommences. Such proceedings may do with +fools, but you are a man of sense. In my opinion the greatest folly any +one can commit is to quarrel with a clever man." + +"You are mistaken," said des Lupeaulx, "for such a man pardons. The real +danger is with the petty spiteful natures who have nothing to do but +study revenge,--I spend my life among them." + +When all the guests were gone, Rabourdin came into his wife's room, and +after asking for her strict attention, he explained his plan and +made her see that it did not cut down the revenue but on the contrary +increased it; he showed her in what ways the public funds were employed, +and how the State could increase tenfold the circulation of money by +putting its own, in the proportion of a third, or a quarter, into the +expenditures which would be sustained by private or local interests. He +finally proved to her plainly that his plan was not mere theory, but +a system teeming with methods of execution. Celestine, brightly +enthusiastic, sprang into her husband's arms and sat upon his knee in +the chimney-corner. + +"At last I find the husband of my dreams!" she cried. "My ignorance of +your real merit has saved you from des Lupeaulx's claws. I calumniated +you to him gloriously and in good faith." + +The man wept with joy. His day of triumph had come at last. Having +labored for many years to satisfy his wife, he found himself a great man +in the eyes of his sole public. + +"To one who knows how good you are, how tender, how equable in anger, +how loving, you are tenfold greater still. But," she added, "a man of +genius is always more or less a child; and you are a child, a dearly +beloved child," she said, caressing him. Then she drew that invitation +from that particular spot where women put what they sacredly hide, and +showed it to him. + +"Here is what I wanted," she said; "Des Lupeaulx has put me face to face +with the minister, and were he a man of iron, his Excellency shall be +made for a time to bend the knee to me." + +The next day Celestine began her preparations for entrance into the +inner circle of the ministry. It was her day of triumph, her own! Never +courtesan took such pains with herself as this honest woman bestowed +upon her person. No dressmaker was ever so tormented as hers. Madame +Rabourdin forgot nothing. She went herself to the stable where she hired +carriages, and chose a coupe that was neither old, nor bourgeois, nor +showy. Her footman, like the footmen of great houses, had the dress +and appearance of a master. About ten on the evening of the eventful +Tuesday, she left home in a charming full mourning attire. Her hair was +dressed with jet grapes of exquisite workmanship,--an ornament costing +three thousand francs, made by Fossin for an Englishwoman who had left +Paris before it was finished. The leaves were of stamped iron-work, as +light as the vine-leaves themselves, and the artist had not forgotten +the graceful tendrils, which twined in the wearer's curls just as, +in nature, they catch upon the branches. The bracelets, necklace, and +earrings were all what is called Berlin iron-work; but these delicate +arabesques were made in Vienna, and seemed to have been fashioned by the +fairies who, the stories tell us, are condemned by a jealous Carabosse +to collect the eyes of ants, or weave a fabric so diaphanous that a +nutshell can contain it. Madame Rabourdin's graceful figure, made +more slender still by the black draperies, was shown to advantage by a +carefully cut dress, the two sides of which met at the shoulders in +a single strap without sleeves. At every motion she seemed, like a +butterfly, to be about to leave her covering; but the gown held firmly +on by some contrivance of the wonderful dressmaker. The robe was of +mousseline de laine--a material which the manufacturers had not yet sent +to the Paris markets; a delightful stuff which some months later was to +have a wild success, a success which went further and lasted longer than +most French fashions. The actual economy of mousseline de laine, which +needs no washing, has since injured the sale of cotton fabrics enough to +revolutionize the Rouen manufactories. Celestine's little feet, covered +with fine silk stockings and turk-satin shoes (for silk-satin is +inadmissible in deep mourning) were of elegant proportions. Thus +dressed, she was very handsome. Her complexion, beautified by a +bran-bath, was softly radiant. Her eyes, suffused with the light of +hope, and sparkling with intelligence, justified her claims to the +superiority which des Lupeaulx, proud and happy on this occasion, +asserted for her. + +She entered the room well (women will understand the meaning of that +expression), bowed gracefully to the minister's wife, with a happy +mixture of deference and of self-respect, and gave no offence by a +certain reliance on her own dignity; for every beautiful woman has the +right to seem a queen. With the minister himself she took the pretty air +of sauciness which women may properly allow themselves with men, even +when they are grand dukes. She reconnoitred the field, as it were, +while taking her seat, and saw that she was in the midst of one of those +select parties of few persons, where the women eye and appraise each +other, and every word said echoes in all ears; where every glance is +a stab, and conversation a duel with witnesses; where all that is +commonplace seems commoner still, and where every form of merit or +distinction is silently accepted as though it were the natural level of +all present. Rabourdin betook himself to the adjoining salon in which +a few persons were playing cards; and there he planted himself on +exhibition, as it were, which proved that he was not without social +intelligence. + +"My dear," said the Marquise d'Espard to the Comtesse Feraud, Louis +XVIII.'s last mistress, "Paris is certainly unique. It produces--whence +and how, who knows?--women like this person, who seems ready to will and +to do anything." + +"She really does will, and does do everything," put in des Lupeaulx, +puffed up with satisfaction. + +At this moment the wily Madame Rabourdin was courting the minister's +wife. Carefully coached the evening before by des Lupeaulx, who knew all +the countess's weak spots, she was flattering her without seeming to do +so. Every now and then she kept silence; for des Lupeaulx, in love as he +was, knew her defects, and said to her the night before, "Be careful +not to talk too much,"--words which were really an immense proof of +attachment. Bertrand Barrere left behind him this sublime axiom: "Never +interrupt a woman when dancing to give her advice," to which we may add +(to make this chapter of the female code complete), "Never blame a woman +for scattering her pearls." + +The conversation became general. From time to time Madame Rabourdin +joined in, just as a well-trained cat puts a velvet paw on her +mistress's laces with the claws carefully drawn in. The minister, in +matters of the heart, had few emotions. There was not another statesman +under the Restoration who had so completely done with gallantry as he; +even the opposition papers, the "Miroir," "Pandora," and "Figaro," could +not find a single throbbing artery with which to reproach him. Madame +Rabourdin knew this, but she knew also that ghosts return to old +castles, and she had taken it into her head to make the minister jealous +of the happiness which des Lupeaulx was appearing to enjoy. The latter's +throat literally gurgled with the name of his divinity. To launch his +supposed mistress successfully, he was endeavoring to persuade the +Marquise d'Espard, Madame de Nucingen, and the countess, in an eight-ear +conversation, that they had better admit Madame Rabourdin to their +coalition; and Madame de Camps was supporting him. At the end of the +hour the minister's vanity was greatly tickled; Madame Rabourdin's +cleverness pleased him, and she had won his wife, who, delighted with +the siren, invited her to come to all her receptions whenever she +pleased. + +"For your husband, my dear," she said, "will soon be director; the +minister intends to unite the two divisions and place them under one +director; you will then be one of us, you know." + +His Excellency carried off Madame Rabourdin on his arm to show her a +certain room, which was then quite celebrated because the opposition +journals blamed him for decorating it extravagantly; and together they +laughed over the absurdities of journalism. + +"Madame, you really must give the countess and myself the pleasure of +seeing you here often." + +And he went on with a round of ministerial compliments. + +"But, Monseigneur," she replied, with one of those glances which women +hold in reserve, "it seems to me that that depends on you." + +"How so?" + +"You alone can give me the right to come here." + +"Pray explain." + +"No; I said to myself before I came that I would certainly not have the +bad taste to seem a petitioner." + +"No, no, speak freely. Places asked in this way are never out of place," +said the minister, laughing; for there is no jest too silly to amuse a +solemn man. + +"Well, then, I must tell you plainly that the wife of the head of a +bureau is out of place here; a director's wife is not." + +"That point need not be considered," said the minister, "your husband is +indispensable to the administration; he is already appointed." + +"Is that a veritable fact?" + +"Would you like to see the papers in my study? They are already drawn +up." + +"Then," she said, pausing in a corner where she was alone with the +minister, whose eager attentions were now very marked, "let me tell you +that I can make you a return." + +She was on the point of revealing her husband's plan, when des Lupeaulx, +who had glided noiselessly up to them, uttered an angry sound, which +meant that he did not wish to appear to have overheard what, in fact, he +had been listening to. The minister gave an ill-tempered look at the +old beau, who, impatient to win his reward, had hurried, beyond all +precedent, the preliminary work of the appointment. He had carried the +papers to his Excellency that evening, and desired to take himself, +on the morrow, the news of the appointment to her whom he was now +endeavoring to exhibit as his mistress. Just then the minister's valet +approached des Lupeaulx in a mysterious manner, and told him that his +own servant wished him to deliver to him at once a letter of the utmost +importance. + +The general-secretary went up to a lamp and read a note thus worded:-- + + + Contrary to my custom, I am waiting in your ante-chamber to see + you; you have not a moment to lose if you wish to come to terms + with + +Your obedient servant, Gobseck. + + +The secretary shuddered when he saw the signature, which we regret we +cannot give in fac-simile, for it would be valuable to those who like to +guess character from what may be called the physiognomy of signature. +If ever a hieroglyphic sign expressed an animal, it was assuredly this +written name, in which the first and the final letter approached each +other like the voracious jaws of a shark,--insatiable, always open, +seeking whom to devour, both strong and weak. As for the wording of +the note, the spirit of usury alone could have inspired a sentence so +imperative, so insolently curt and cruel, which said all and revealed +nothing. Those who had never heard of Gobseck would have felt, on +reading words which compelled him to whom they were addressed to obey, +yet gave no order, the presence of the implacable money-lender of the +rue des Gres. Like a dog called to heel by the huntsman, des Lupeaulx +left his present quest and went immediately to his own rooms, thinking +of his hazardous position. Imagine a general to whom an aide-de-camp +rides up and says: "The enemy with thirty thousand fresh troops is +attacking on our right flank." + +A very few words will serve to explain this sudden arrival of Gigonnet +and Gobseck on the field of battle,--for des Lupeaulx found them both +waiting. At eight o'clock that evening, Martin Falleix, returning on the +wings of the wind,--thanks to three francs to the postboys and a courier +in advance,--had brought back with him the deeds of the property signed +the night before. Taken at once to the Cafe Themis by Mitral, these +securities passed into the hands of the two usurers, who hastened +(though on foot) to the ministry. It was past eleven o'clock. Des +Lupeaulx trembled when he saw those sinister faces, emitting a +simultaneous look as direct as a pistol shot and as brilliant as the +flash itself. + +"What is it, my masters?" he said. + +The two extortioners continued cold and motionless. Gigonnet silently +pointed to the documents in his hand, and then at the servant. + +"Come into my study," said des Lupeaulx, dismissing his valet by a sign. + +"You understand French very well," remarked Gigonnet, approvingly. + +"Have you come here to torment a man who enabled each of you to make a +couple of hundred thousand francs?" + +"And who will help us to make more, I hope," said Gigonnet. + +"Some new affair?" asked des Lupeaulx. "If you want me to help you, +consider that I recollect the past." + +"So do we," answered Gigonnet. + +"My debts must be paid," said des Lupeaulx, disdainfully, so as not to +seem worsted at the outset. + +"True," said Gobseck. + +"Let us come to the point, my son," said Gigonnet. "Don't stiffen your +chin in your cravat; with us all that is useless. Take these deeds and +read them." + +The two usurers took a mental inventory of des Lupeaulx's study while +he read with amazement and stupefaction a deed of purchase which seemed +wafted to him from the clouds by angels. + +"Don't you think you have a pair of intelligent business agents in +Gobseck and me?" asked Gigonnet. + +"But tell me, to what do I owe such able co-operation?" said des +Lupeaulx, suspicious and uneasy. + +"We knew eight days ago a fact that without us you would not have known +till to-morrow morning. The president of the chamber of commerce, a +deputy, as you know, feels himself obliged to resign." + +Des Lupeaulx's eyes dilated, and were as big as daisies. + +"Your minister has been tricking you about this event," said the concise +Gobseck. + +"You master me," said the general-secretary, bowing with an air of +profound respect, bordering however, on sarcasm. + +"True," said Gobseck. + +"Can you mean to strangle me?" + +"Possibly." + +"Well, then, begin your work, executioners," said the secretary, +smiling. + +"You will see," resumed Gigonnet, "that the sum total of your debts is +added to the sum loaned by us for the purchase of the property; we have +bought them up." + +"Here are the deeds," said Gobseck, taking from the pocket of his +greenish overcoat a number of legal papers. + +"You have three years in which to pay off the whole sum," said Gigonnet. + +"But," said des Lupeaulx, frightened at such kindness, and also by so +apparently fantastic an arrangement. "What do you want of me?" + +"La Billardiere's place for Baudoyer," said Gigonnet, quickly. + +"That's a small matter, though it will be next to impossible for me to +do it," said des Lupeaulx. "I have just tied my hands." + +"Bite the cords with your teeth," said Gigonnet. + +"They are sharp," added Gobseck. + +"Is that all?" asked des Lupeaulx. + +"We keep the title-deeds of the property till the debts are paid," said +Gigonnet, putting one of the papers before des Lupeaulx; "and if the +matter of the appointment is not satisfactorily arranged within six days +our names will be substituted in place of yours." + +"You are deep," cried the secretary. + +"Exactly," said Gobseck. + +"And this is all?" exclaimed des Lupeaulx. + +"All," said Gobseck. + +"You agree?" asked Gigonnet. + +Des Lupeaulx nodded his head. + +"Well, then, sign this power of attorney. Within two days Baudoyer is to +be nominated; within six your debts will be cleared off, and--" + +"And what?" asked des Lupeaulx. + +"We guarantee--" + +"Guarantee!--what?" said the secretary, more and more astonished. + +"Your election to the Chamber," said Gigonnet, rising on his heels. +"We have secured a majority of fifty-two farmers' and mechanics' +votes, which will be thrown precisely as those who lend you this money +dictate." + +Des Lupeaulx wrung Gigonnet's hand. + +"It is only such as we who never misunderstand each other," he said; +"this is what I call doing business. I'll make you a return gift." + +"Right," said Gobseck. + +"What is it?" asked Gigonnet. + +"The cross of the Legion of honor for your imbecile of a nephew." + +"Good," said Gigonnet, "I see you know him well." + +The pair took leave of des Lupeaulx, who conducted them to the +staircase. + +"They must be secret envoys from foreign powers," whispered the footmen +to each other. + +Once in the street, the two usurers looked at each other under a street +lamp and laughed. + +"He will owe us nine thousand francs interest a year," said Gigonnet; +"that property doesn't bring him in five." + +"He is under our thumb for a long time," said Gobseck. + +"He'll build; he'll commit extravagancies," continued Gigonnet; "Falleix +will get his land." + +"His interest is only to be made deputy; the old fox laughs at the +rest," said Gobseck. + +"Hey! hey!" + +"Hi! hi!" + +These dry little exclamations served as a laugh to the two old men, who +took their way back (always on foot) to the Cafe Themis. + +Des Lupeaulx returned to the salon and found Madame Rabourdin sailing +with the wind of success, and very charming; while his Excellency, +usually so gloomy, showed a smooth and gracious countenance. + +"She performs miracles," thought des Lupeaulx. "What a wonderfully +clever woman! I must get to the bottom of her heart." + +"Your little lady is decidedly handsome," said the Marquise to the +secretary; "now if she only had your name." + +"Yes, her defect is that she is the daughter of an auctioneer. She will +fail for want of birth," replied des Lupeaulx, with a cold manner +that contrasted strangely with the ardor of his remarks about Madame +Rabourdin not half an hour earlier. + +The marquise looked at him fixedly. + +"The glance you gave them did not escape me," she said, motioning +towards the minister and Madame Rabourdin; "it pierced the mask of your +spectacles. How amusing you both are, to quarrel over that bone!" + +As the marquise turned to leave the room the minister joined her and +escorted her to the door. + +"Well," said des Lupeaulx to Madame Rabourdin, "what do you think of his +Excellency?" + +"He is charming. We must know these poor ministers to appreciate +them," she added, slightly raising her voice so as to be heard by his +Excellency's wife. "The newspapers and the opposition calumnies are so +misleading about men in politics that we are all more or less influenced +by them; but such prejudices turn to the advantage of statesmen when we +come to know them personally." + +"He is very good-looking," said des Lupeaulx. + +"Yes, and I assure you he is quite lovable," she said, heartily. + +"Dear child," said des Lupeaulx, with a genial, caressing manner; "you +have actually done the impossible." + +"What is that?" + +"Resuscitated the dead. I did not think that man had a heart; ask his +wife. But he may have just enough for a passing fancy. Therefore profit +by it. Come this way, and don't be surprised." He led Madame Rabourdin +into the boudoir, placed her on a sofa, and sat down beside her. "You +are very sly," he said, "and I like you the better for it. Between +ourselves, you are a clever woman. Des Lupeaulx served to bring you +into this house, and that is all you wanted of him, isn't it? Now when a +woman decides to love a man for what she can get out of him it is better +to take a sexagenarian Excellency than a quadragenarian secretary; +there's more profit and less annoyance. I'm a man with spectacles, +grizzled hair, worn out with dissipation,--a fine lover, truly! I tell +myself all this again and again. It must be admitted, of course, that I +can sometimes be useful, but never agreeable. Isn't that so? A man must +be a fool if he cannot reason about himself. You can safely admit the +truth and let me see to the depths of your heart; we are partners, not +lovers. If I show some tenderness at times, you are too superior a woman +to pay any attention to such follies; you will forgive me,--you are not +a school-girl, or a bourgeoise of the rue Saint-Denis. Bah! you and I +are too well brought up for that. There's the Marquise d'Espard who has +just left the room; this is precisely what she thinks and does. She and +I came to an understanding two years ago [the coxcomb!], and now she has +only to write me a line and say, 'My dear des Lupeaulx, you will oblige +me by doing such and such a thing,' and it is done at once. We are +engaged at this very moment in getting a commission of lunacy on her +husband. Ah! you women, you can get what you want by the bestowal of a +few favors. Well, then, my dear child, bewitch the minister. I'll help +you; it is my interest to do so. Yes, I wish he had a woman who could +influence him; he wouldn't escape me,--for he does escape me quite +often, and the reason is that I hold him only through his intellect. +Now if I were one with a pretty woman who was also intimate with him, +I should hold him by his weaknesses, and that is much the firmest grip. +Therefore, let us be friends, you and I, and share the advantages of the +conquest you are making." + +Madame Rabourdin listened in amazement to this singular profession of +rascality. The apparent artlessness of this political swindler prevented +her from suspecting a trick. + +"Do you believe he really thinks of me?" she asked, falling into the +trap. + +"I know it; I am certain of it." + +"Is it true that Rabourdin's appointment is signed?" + +"I gave him the papers this morning. But it is not enough that your +husband should be made director; he must be Master of petitions." + +"Yes," she said. + +"Well, then, go back to the salon and coquette a little more with his +Excellency." + +"It is true," she said, "that I never fully understood you till +to-night. There is nothing commonplace about /you/." + +"We will be two old friends," said des Lupeaulx, "and suppress all +tender nonsense and tormenting love; we will take things as they did +under the Regency. Ah! they had plenty of wit and wisdom in those days!" + +"You are really strong; you deserve my admiration," she said, smiling, +and holding out her hand to him, "one does more for one's friend, you +know, than for one's--" + +She left him without finishing her sentence. + +"Dear creature!" thought des Lupeaulx, as he saw her approach the +minister, "des Lupeaulx has no longer the slightest remorse in turning +against you. To-morrow evening when you offer me a cup of tea, you will +be offering me a thing I no longer care for. All is over. Ah! when a man +is forty years of age women may take pains to catch him, but they won't +love him." + +He looked himself over in a mirror, admitting honestly that though he +did very well as a politician he was a wreck on the shores of Cythera. +At the same moment Madame Rabourdin was gathering herself together for +a becoming exit. She wished to make a last graceful impression on +the minds of all, and she succeeded. Contrary to the usual custom in +society, every one cried out as soon as she was gone, "What a charming +woman!" and the minister himself took her to the outer door. + +"I am quite sure you will think of me to-morrow," he said, alluding to +the appointment. + +"There are so few high functionaries who have agreeable wives," remarked +his Excellency on re-entering the room, "that I am very well satisfied +with our new acquisition." + +"Don't you think her a little overpowering?" said des Lupeaulx with a +piqued air. + +The women present all exchanged expressive glances; the rivalry between +the minister and his secretary amused them and instigated one of those +pretty little comedies which Parisian women play so well. They excited +and led on his Excellency and des Lupeaulx by a series of comments on +Madame Rabourdin: one thought her too studied in manner, too eager to +appear clever; another compared the graces of the middle classes with +the manners of high life, while des Lupeaulx defended his pretended +mistress as we all defend an enemy in society. + +"Do her justice, ladies," he said; "is it not extraordinary that the +daughter of an auctioneer should appear as well as she does? See where +she came from, and what she is. She will end in the Tuileries; that is +what she intends,--she told me so." + +"Suppose she is the daughter of an auctioneer," said the Comtesse +Feraud, smiling, "that will not hinder her husband's rise to power." + +"Not in these days, you mean," said the minister's wife, tightening her +lips. + +"Madame," said his Excellency to the countess, sternly, "such sentiments +and such speeches lead to revolutions; unhappily, the court and the +great world do not restrain them. You would hardly believe, however, how +the injudicious conduct of the aristocracy in this respect displeases +certain clear-sighted personages at the palace. If I were a great lord, +instead of being, as I am, a mere country gentleman who seems to be +placed where he is to transact your business for you, the monarchy would +not be as insecure as I now think it is. What becomes of a throne which +does not bestow dignity on those who administer its government? We are +far indeed from the days when a king could make men great at will,--such +men as Louvois, Colbert, Richelieu, Jeannin, Villeroy, Sully,--Sully, +in his origin, was no greater than I. I speak to you thus because we +are here in private among ourselves. I should be very paltry indeed if +I were personally offended by such speeches. After all, it is for us and +not for others to make us great." + +"You are appointed, dear," cried Celestine, pressing her husband's hand +as they drove away. "If it had not been for des Lupeaulx I should have +explained your scheme to his Excellency. But I will do it next Tuesday, +and it will help the further matter of making you Master of petitions." + +In the life of every woman there comes a day when she shines in all +her glory; a day which gives her an unfading recollection to which she +recurs with happiness all her life. As Madame Rabourdin took off one by +one the ornaments of her apparel, she thought over the events of this +evening, and marked the day among the triumphs and glories of her +life,--all her beauties had been seen and envied, she had been praised +and flattered by the minister's wife, delighted thus to make the other +women jealous of her; but, above all, her grace and vanities had shone +to the profit of conjugal love. Her husband was appointed. + +"Did you think I looked well to-night?" she said to him, joyously. + +At the same instant Mitral, waiting at the Cafe Themis, saw the two +usurers returning, but was unable to perceive the slightest indications +of the result on their impassible faces. + +"What of it?" he said, when they were all seated at table. + +"Same as ever," replied Gigonnet, rubbing his hands, "victory with +gold." + +"True," said Gobseck. + +Mitral took a cabriolet and went straight to the Saillards and +Baudoyers, who were still playing boston at a late hour. No one was +present but the Abbe Gaudron. Falleix, half-dead with the fatigue of his +journey, had gone to bed. + +"You will be appointed, nephew," said Mitral; "and there's a surprise in +store for you." + +"What is it?" asked Saillard. + +"The cross of the Legion of honor?" cried Mitral. + +"God protects those who guard his altars," said Gaudron. + +Thus the Te Deum was sung with equal joy and confidence in both camps. + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. FORWARD, MOLLUSKS! + + +The next day, Wednesday, Monsieur Rabourdin was to transact business +with the minister, for he had filled the late La Billardiere's place +since the beginning of the latter's illness. On such days the clerks +came punctually, the servants were specially attentive, there was always +a certain excitement in the offices on these signing-days,--and why, +nobody ever knew. On this occasion the three servants were at their +post, flattering themselves they should get a few fees; for a rumor of +Rabourdin's nomination had spread through the ministry the night before, +thanks to Dutocq. Uncle Antoine and Laurent had donned their full +uniform, when, at a quarter to eight, des Lupeaulx's servant came in +with a letter, which he begged Antoine to give secretly to Dutocq, +saying that the general-secretary had ordered him to deliver it without +fail at Monsieur Dutocq's house by seven o'clock. + +"I'm sure I don't know how it happened," he said, "but I overslept +myself. I've only just waked up, and he'd play the devil's tattoo on me +if he knew the letter hadn't gone. I know a famous secret, Antoine; but +don't say anything about it to the clerks if I tell you; promise? He +would send me off if he knew I had said a single word; he told me so." + +"What's inside the letter?" asked Antoine, eying it. + +"Nothing; I looked this way--see." + +He made the letter gape open, and showed Antoine that there was nothing +but blank paper to be seen. + +"This is going to be a great day for you, Laurent," went on the +secretary's man. "You are to have a new director. Economy must be the +order of the day, for they are going to unite the two divisions under +one director--you fellows will have to look out!" + +"Yes, nine clerks are put on the retired list," said Dutocq, who came in +at the moment; "how did you hear that?" + +Antoine gave him the letter, and he had no sooner opened it than he +rushed headlong downstairs in the direction of the secretary's office. + +The bureaus Rabourdin and Baudoyer, after idling and gossiping since +the death of Monsieur de la Billardiere, were now recovering their usual +official look and the dolce far niente habits of a government office. +Nevertheless, the approaching end of the year did cause rather more +application among the clerks, just as porters and servants become at +that season more unctuously civil. They all came punctually, for one +thing; more remained after four o'clock than was usual at other times. +It was not forgotten that fees and gratuities depend on the last +impressions made upon the minds of masters. The news of the union of the +two divisions, that of La Billardiere and that of Clergeot, under one +director, had spread through the various offices. The number of the +clerks to be retired was known, but all were in ignorance of the names. +It was taken for granted that Poiret would not be replaced, and that +would be a retrenchment. Little La Billardiere had already departed. +Two new supernumeraries had made their appearance, and, alarming +circumstance! they were both sons of deputies. The news told about +in the offices the night before, just as the clerks were dispersing, +agitated all minds, and for the first half-hour after arrival in the +morning they stood around the stoves and talked it over. But earlier +than that, Dutocq, as we have seen, had rushed to des Lupeaulx on +receiving his note, and found him dressing. Without laying down his +razor, the general-secretary cast upon his subordinate the glance of a +general issuing an order. + +"Are we alone?" he asked. + +"Yes, monsieur." + +"Very good. March on Rabourdin; forward! steady! Of course you kept a +copy of that paper?" + +"Yes." + +"You understand me? Inde iroe! There must be a general hue and cry +raised against him. Find some way to start a clamor--" + +"I could get a man to make a caricature, but I haven't five hundred +francs to pay for it." + +"Who would make it?" + +"Bixou." + +"He shall have a thousand and be under-head-clerk to Colleville, who +will arrange with them; tell him so." + +"But he wouldn't believe it on nothing more than my word." + +"Are you trying to make me compromise myself? Either do the thing or let +it alone; do you hear me?" + +"If Monsieur Baudoyer were director--" + +"Well, he will be. Go now, and make haste; you have no time to lose. +Go down the back-stairs; I don't want people to know you have just seen +me." + +While Dutocq was returning to the clerks' office and asking himself how +he could best incite a clamor against his chief without compromising +himself, Bixiou rushed to the Rabourdin office for a word of greeting. +Believing that he had lost his bet the incorrigible joker thought it +amusing to pretend that he had won it. + +Bixiou [mimicking Phellion's voice]. "Gentlemen, I salute you with a +collective how d'ye do, and I appoint Sunday next for the dinner at +the Rocher de Cancale. But a serious question presents itself. Is that +dinner to include the clerks who are dismissed?" + +Poiret. "And those who retire?" + +Bixiou. "Not that I care, for it isn't I who pay." [General +stupefaction.] "Baudoyer is appointed. I think I already hear him +calling Laurent" [mimicking Baudoyer], "Laurent! lock up my hair-shirt, +and my scourge." [They all roar with laughter.] "Yes, yes, he laughs +well who laughs last. Gentlemen, there's a great deal in that anagram of +Colleville's. 'Xavier Rabourdin, chef de bureau--D'abord reva bureaux, +e-u fin riche.' If I were named 'Charles X., par la grace de Dieu roi +de France et de Navarre,' I should tremble in my shoes at the fate those +letters anagrammatize." + +Thuillier. "Look here! are you making fun?" + +Bixiou. "No, I am not. Rabourdin resigns in a rage at finding Baudoyer +appointed director." + +Vimeux [entering.] "Nonsense, no such thing! Antoine (to whom I have +just been paying forty francs that I owed him) tells me that Monsieur +and Madame Rabourdin were at the minister's private party last night and +stayed till midnight. His Excellency escorted Madame Rabourdin to the +staircase. It seems she was divinely dressed. In short, it is quite +certain that Rabourdin is to be director. Riffe, the secretary's copying +clerk, told me he sat up all the night before to draw the papers; it is +no longer a secret. Monsieur Clergeot is retired. After thirty years' +service that's no misfortune. Monsieur Cochlin, who is rich--" + +Bixiou. "By cochineal." + +Vimeux. "Yes, cochineal; he's a partner in the house of Matifat, rue des +Lombards. Well, he is retired; so is Poiret. Neither is to be replaced. +So much is certain; the rest is all conjecture. The appointment of +Monsieur Rabourdin is to be announced this morning; they are afraid of +intrigues." + +Bixiou. "What intrigues?" + +Fleury. "Baudoyer's, confound him! The priests uphold him; here's +another article in the liberal journal,--only half a dozen lines, but +they are queer" [reads]: + + "Certain persons spoke last night in the lobby of the Opera-house + of the return of Monsieur de Chateaubriand to the ministry, basing + their opinion on the choice made of Monsieur Rabourdin (the + protege of friends of the noble viscount) to fill the office for + which Monsieur Baudoyer was first selected. The clerical party is + not likely to withdraw unless in deference to the great writer. + +"Blackguards!" + +Dutocq [entering, having heard the whole discussion]. "Blackguards! Who? +Rabourdin? Then you know the news?" + +Fleury [rolling his eyes savagely]. "Rabourdin a blackguard! Are you +mad, Dutocq? do you want a ball in your brains to give them weight?" + +Dutocq. "I said nothing against Monsieur Rabourdin; only it has just +been told to me in confidence that he has written a paper denouncing all +the clerks and officials, and full of facts about their lives; in short, +the reason why his friends support him is because he has written this +paper against the administration, in which we are all exposed--" + +Phellion [in a loud voice]. "Monsieur Rabourdin is incapable of--" + +Bixiou. "Very proper in you to say so. Tell me, Dutocq" [they whisper +together and then go into the corridor]. + +Bixiou. "What has happened?" + +Dutocq. "Do you remember what I said to you about that caricature?" + +Bixiou. "Yes, what then?" + +Dutocq. "Make it, and you shall be under-head-clerk with a famous fee. +The fact is, my dear fellow, there's dissension among the powers that +be. The minister is pledged to Rabourdin, but if he doesn't appoint +Baudoyer he offends the priests and their party. You see, the King, the +Dauphin and the Dauphine, the clergy, and lastly the court, all want +Baudoyer; the minister wants Rabourdin." + +Bixiou. "Good!" + +Dutocq. "To ease the matter off, the minister, who sees he must give +way, wants to strangle the difficulty. We must find some good reason for +getting rid of Rabourdin. Now somebody has lately unearthed a paper of +his, exposing the present system of administration and wanting to +reform it; and that paper is going the rounds,--at least, this is how I +understand the matter. Make the drawing we talked of; in so doing you'll +play the game of all the big people, and help the minister, the court, +the clergy,--in short, everybody; and you'll get your appointment. Now +do you understand me?" + +Bixiou. "I don't understand how you came to know all that; perhaps you +are inventing it." + +Dutocq. "Do you want me to let you see what Rabourdin wrote about you?" + +Bixiou. "Yes." + +Dutocq. "Then come home with me; for I must put the document into safe +keeping." + +Bixiou. "You go first alone." [Re-enters the bureau Rabourdin.] "What +Dutocq told you is really all true, word of honor! It seems that +Monsieur Rabourdin has written and sent in very unflattering +descriptions of the clerks whom he wants to 'reform.' That's the real +reason why his secret friends wish him appointed. Well, well; we live in +days when nothing astonishes me" [flings his cloak about him like Talma, +and declaims]:-- + + "Thou who has seen the fall of grand, illustrious heads, + Why thus amazed, insensate that thou art, + +to find a man like Rabourdin employing such means? Baudoyer is too much +of a fool to know how to use them. Accept my congratulations, gentlemen; +either way you are under a most illustrious chief" [goes off]. + +Poiret. "I shall leave this ministry without ever comprehending a single +word that gentleman utters. What does he mean with his 'heads that +fall'?" + +Fleury. "'Heads that fell?' why, think of the four sergeants of +Rochelle, Ney, Berton, Caron, the brothers Faucher, and the massacres." + +Phellion. "He asserts very flippantly things that he only guesses at." + +Fleury. "Say at once that he lies; in his mouth truth itself turns to +corrosion." + +Phellion. "Your language is unparliamentary and lacks the courtesy and +consideration which are due to a colleague." + +Vimeux. "It seems to me that if what he says is false, the proper +name for it is calumny, defamation of character; and such a slanderer +deserves the thrashing." + +Fleury [getting hot]. "If the government offices are public places, the +matter ought to be taken into the police-courts." + +Phellion [wishing to avert a quarrel, tries to turn the conversation]. +"Gentleman, might I ask you to keep quiet? I am writing a little +treatise on moral philosophy, and I am just at the heart of it." + +Fleury [interrupting]. "What are you saying about it, Monsieur +Phellion?" + +Phellion [reading]. "Question.--What is the soul of man? + +"Answer.--A spiritual substance which thinks and reasons." + +Thuillier. "Spiritual substance! you might as well talk about immaterial +stone." + +Poiret. "Don't interrupt; let him go on." + +Phellion [continuing]. "Quest.--Whence comes the soul? + +"Ans.--From God, who created it of a nature one and indivisible; the +destructibility thereof is, consequently, not conceivable, and he hath +said--" + +Poiret [amazed]. "God said?" + +Phellion. "Yes, monsieur; tradition authorizes the statement." + +Fleury [to Poiret]. "Come, don't interrupt, yourself." + +Phellion [resuming]. "--and he hath said that he created it immortal; in +other words, the soul can never die. + +"Quest.--What are the uses of the soul? + +"Ans.--To comprehend, to will, to remember; these constitute +understanding, volition, memory. + +"Quest.--What are the uses of the understanding? + +"Ans.--To know. It is the eye of the soul." + +Fleury. "And the soul is the eye of what?" + +Phellion [continuing]. "Quest.--What ought the understanding to know? + +"Ans.--Truth. + +"Quest.--Why does man possess volition? + +"Ans.--To love good and hate evil. + +"Quest.--What is good? + +"Ans.--That which makes us happy." + +Vimeux. "Heavens! do you teach that to young ladies?" + +Phellion. "Yes" [continuing]. "Quest.--How many kinds of good are +there?" + +Fleury. "Amazingly indecorous, to say the least." + +Phellion [aggrieved]. "Oh, monsieur!" [Controlling himself.] "But here's +the answer,--that's as far as I have got" [reads]:-- + +"Ans.--There are two kinds of good,--eternal good and temporal good." + +Poiret [with a look of contempt]. "And does that sell for anything?" + +Phellion. "I hope it will. It requires great application of mind to +carry on a system of questions and answers; that is why I ask you to be +quiet and let me think, for the answers--" + +Thuillier [interrupting]. "The answers might be sold separately." + +Poiret. "Is that a pun?" + +Thuillier. "No; a riddle." + +Phellion. "I am sorry I interrupted you" [he dives into his office +desk]. "But" [to himself] "at any rate, I have stopped their talking +about Monsieur Rabourdin." + +At this moment a scene was taking place between the minister and des +Lupeaulx which decided Rabourdin's fate. The general-secretary had gone +to see the minister in his private study before the breakfast-hour, to +make sure that La Briere was not within hearing. + +"Your Excellency is not treating me frankly--" + +"He means a quarrel," thought the minister; "and all because his +mistress coquetted with me last night. I did not think you so juvenile, +my dear friend," he said aloud. + +"Friend?" said the general-secretary, "that is what I want to find out." + +The minister looked haughtily at des Lupeaulx. + +"We are alone," continued the secretary, "and we can come to an +understanding. The deputy of the arrondissement in which my estate is +situated--" + +"So it is really an estate!" said the minister, laughing, to hide his +surprise. + +"Increased by a recent purchase of two hundred thousand francs' worth of +adjacent property," replied des Lupeaulx, carelessly. "You knew of the +deputy's approaching resignation at least ten days ago, and you did not +tell me of it. You were perhaps not bound to do so, but you knew very +well that I am most anxious to take my seat in the centre. Has +it occurred to you that I might fling myself back on the +'Doctrine'?--which, let me tell you, will destroy the administration and +the monarchy both if you continue to allow the party of representative +government to be recruited from men of talent whom you ignore. Don't you +know that in every nation there are fifty to sixty, not more, dangerous +heads, whose schemes are in proportion to their ambition? The secret of +knowing how to govern is to know those heads well, and either to chop +them off or buy them. I don't know how much talent I have, but I know +that I have ambition; and you are committing a serious blunder when you +set aside a man who wishes you well. The anointed head dazzles for the +time being, but what next?--Why, a war of words; discussions will spring +up once more and grow embittered, envenomed. Then, for your own sake, I +advise you not to find me at the Left Centre. In spite of your +prefect's manoeuvres (instructions for which no doubt went from here +confidentially) I am secure of a majority. The time has come for you and +me to understand each other. After a breeze like this people sometimes +become closer friends than ever. I must be made count and receive the +grand cordon of the Legion of honor as a reward for my public services. +However, I care less for those things just now than I do for something +else in which you are more personally concerned. You have not yet +appointed Rabourdin, and I have news this morning which tends to show +that most persons will be better satisfied if you appoint Baudoyer." + +"Appoint Baudoyer!" echoed the minister. "Do you know him?" + +"Yes," said des Lupeaulx; "but suppose he proves incapable, as he will, +you can then get rid of him by asking those who protect him to employ +him elsewhere. You will thus get back an important office to give +to friends; it may come in at the right moment to facilitate some +compromise." + +"But I have pledged it to Rabourdin." + +"That may be; and I don't ask you to make the change this very day. +I know the danger of saying yes and no within twenty-four hours. But +postpone the appointment, and don't sign the papers till the day +after to-morrow; by that time you may find it impossible to retain +Rabourdin,--in fact, in all probability, he will send you his +resignation--" + +"His resignation?" + +"Yes." + +"Why?" + +"He is the tool of a secret power in whose interests he has carried on +a system of espionage in all the ministries, and the thing has been +discovered by mere accident. He has written a paper of some kind, giving +short histories of all the officials. Everybody is talking of it; the +clerks are furious. For heaven's sake, don't transact business with him +to-day; let me find some means for you to avoid it. Ask an audience +of the King; I am sure you will find great satisfaction there if you +concede the point about Baudoyer; and you can obtain something as an +equivalent. Your position will be better than ever if you are forced +later to dismiss a fool whom the court party impose upon you." + +"What has made you turn against Rabourdin?" + +"Would you forgive Monsieur de Chateaubriand for writing an article +against the ministry? Well, read that, and see how Rabourdin has treated +me in his secret document," said des Lupeaulx, giving the paper to the +minister. "He pretends to reorganize the government from beginning to +end,--no doubt in the interests of some secret society of which, as +yet, we know nothing. I shall continue to be his friend for the sake +of watching him; by that means I may render the government such signal +service that they will have to make me count; for the peerage is the +only thing I really care for. I want you fully to understand that I am +not seeking office or anything else that would cause me to stand in your +way; I am simply aiming for the peerage, which will enable me to marry a +banker's daughter with an income of a couple of hundred thousand francs. +And so, allow me to render you a few signal services which will make the +King feel that I have saved the throne. I have long said that Liberalism +would never offer us a pitched battle. It has given up conspiracies, +Carbonaroism, and revolts with weapons; it is now sapping and mining, +and the day is coming when it will be able to say, 'Out of that and let +me in!' Do you think I have been courting Rabourdin's wife for my own +pleasure? No, but I got much information from her. So now, let us agree +on two things; first, the postponement of the appointment; second, +your /sincere/ support of my election. You shall find at the end of the +session that I have amply repaid you." + +For all answer, the minister took the appointment papers and placed them +in des Lupeaulx's hand. + +"I will go and tell Rabourdin," added des Lupeaulx, "that you cannot +transact business with him till Saturday." + +The minister replied with an assenting gesture. The secretary despatched +his man with a message to Rabourdin that the minister could not work +with him until Saturday, on which day the Chamber was occupied with +private bills, and his Excellency had more time at his disposal. + +Just at this moment Saillard, having brought the monthly stipend, was +slipping his little speech into the ear of the minister's wife, who +drew herself up and answered with dignity that she did not meddle in +political matters, and besides, she had heard that Monsieur Rabourdin +was already appointed. Saillard, terrified, rushed up to Baudoyer's +office, where he found Dutocq, Godard, and Bixiou in a state of +exasperation difficult to describe; for they were reading the terrible +paper on the administration in which they were all discussed. + +Bixiou [with his finger on a paragraph]. "Here /you/ are, pere Saillard. +Listen" [reads]:-- + +"Saillard.--The office of cashier to be suppressed in all the +ministries; their accounts to be kept in future at the Treasury. +Saillard is rich and does not need a pension. + +"Do you want to hear about your son-in-law?" [Turns over the leaves.] +"Here he is" [reads]:-- + +"Baudoyer.--Utterly incapable. To be thanked and dismissed. Rich; does +not need a pension. + +"And here's for Godard" [reads]:-- + +"Godard.--Should be dismissed; pension one-third of his present salary. + +"In short, here we all are. Listen to what I am" [reads]: "An artist +who might be employed by the civil list, at the Opera, or the +Menus-Plaisirs, or the Museum. Great deal of capacity, little +self-respect, no application,--a restless spirit. Ha! I'll give you a +touch of the artist, Monsieur Rabourdin!" + +Saillard. "Suppress cashiers! Why, the man's a monster?" + +Bixiou. "Let us see what he says of our mysterious Desroys." [Turns over +the pages; reads.] + +"Desroys.--Dangerous; because he cannot be shaken in principles that are +subversive of monarchial power. He is the son of the Conventionel, and +he admires the Convention. He may become a very mischievous journalist." + +Baudoyer. "The police are not worse spies!" + +Godard. "I shall go the general-secretary and lay a complaint in form; +we must all resign in a body if such a man as that is put over us." + +Dutocq. "Gentlemen, listen to me; let us be prudent. If you rise at +once in a body, we may all be accused of rancor and revenge. No, let +the thing work, let the rumor spread quietly. When the whole ministry is +aroused your remonstrances will meet with general approval." + +Bixiou. "Dutocq believes in the principles of the grand air composed by +the sublime Rossini for Basilio,--which goes to show, by the bye, that +the great composer was also a great politician. I shall leave my card +on Monsieur Rabourdin to-morrow morning, inscribed thus: 'Bixiou; no +self-respect, no application, restless mind.'" + +Godard. "A good idea, gentlemen. Let us all leave our cards to-morrow on +Rabourdin inscribed in the same way." + +Dutocq [leading Bixiou apart]. "Come, you'll agree to make that +caricature now, won't you?" + +Bixiou. "I see plainly, my dear fellow, that you knew all about +this affair ten days ago" [looks him in the eye]. "Am I to be +under-head-clerk?" + +Dutocq. "On my word of honor, yes, and a thousand-franc fee beside, +just as I told you. You don't know what a service you'll be rendering to +powerful personages." + +Bixiou. "You know them?" + +Dutocq. "Yes." + +Bixiou. "Well, then I want to speak with them." + +Dutocq [dryly]. "You can make the caricature or not, and you can be +under-head-clerk or not,--as you please." + +Bixiou. "At any rate, let me see that thousand francs." + +Dutocq. "You shall have them when you bring the drawing." + +Bixiou. "Forward, march! that lampoon shall go from end to end of the +bureaus to-morrow morning. Let us go and torment the Rabourdins." [Then +speaking to Saillard, Godard, and Baudoyer, who were talking together in +a low voice.] "We are going to stir up the neighbors." [Goes with Dutocq +into the Rabourdin bureau. Fleury, Thuillier, and Vimeux are there, +talking excitedly.] "What's the matter, gentlemen? All that I told you +turns out to be true; you can go and see for yourselves the work of +this infamous informer; for it is in the hands of the virtuous, honest, +estimable, upright, and pious Baudoyer, who is indeed utterly incapable +of doing any such thing. Your chief has got every one of you under the +guillotine. Go and see; follow the crowd; money returned if you are not +satisfied; execution /gratis/! The appointments are postponed. All the +bureaus are in arms; Rabourdin has been informed that the minister will +not work with him. Come, be off; go and see for yourselves." + +They all depart except Phellion and Poiret, who are left alone. The +former loved Rabourdin too well to look for proof that might injure a +man he was determined not to judge; the other had only five days more to +remain in the office, and cared nothing either way. Just then Sebastien +came down to collect the papers for signature. He was a good deal +surprised, though he did not show it, to find the office deserted. + +Phellion. "My young friend" [he rose, a rare thing], "do you know what +is going on? what scandals are rife about Monsieur Rabourdin whom you +love, and" [bending to whisper in Sebastien's ear] "whom I love as much +as I respect him. They say he has committed the imprudence to leave a +paper containing comments on the officials lying about in the office--" +[Phellion stopped short, caught the young man in his strong arms, seeing +that he turned pale and was near fainting, and placed him on a chair.] +"A key, Monsieur Poiret, to put down his back; have you a key?" + +Poiret. "I have the key of my domicile." + +[Old Poiret junior promptly inserted the said key between Sebastien's +shoulders, while Phellion gave him some water to drink. The poor lad +no sooner opened his eyes than he began to weep. He laid his head on +Phellion's desk, and all his limbs were limp as if struck by lightning; +while his sobs were so heartrending, so genuine, that for the first +time in his life Poiret's feelings were stirred by the sufferings of +another.] + +Phellion [speaking firmly]. "Come, come, my young friend; courage! In +times of trial we must show courage. You are a man. What is the matter? +What has happened to distress you so terribly?" + +Sebastien [sobbing]. "It is I who have ruined Monsieur Rabourdin. I left +that paper lying about when I copied it. I have killed my benefactor; I +shall die myself. Such a noble man!--a man who ought to be minister!" + +Poiret [blowing his nose]. "Then it is true he wrote the report." + +Sebastien [still sobbing]. "But it was to--there, I was going to tell +his secrets! Ah! that wretch of a Dutocq; it was he who stole the +paper." + +His tears and sobs recommenced and made so much noise that Rabourdin +came up to see what was the matter. He found the young fellow almost +fainting in the arms of Poiret and Phellion. + +Rabourdin. "What is the matter, gentlemen?" + +Sebastien [struggling to his feet, and then falling on his knees before +Rabourdin]. "I have ruined you, monsieur. That memorandum,--Dutocq, the +monster, he must have taken it." + +Rabourdin [calmly]. "I knew that already" [he lifts Sebastien]. "You are +a child, my young friend." [Speaks to Phellion.] "Where are the other +gentlemen?" + +Phellion. "They have gone into Monsieur Baudoyer's office to see a paper +which it is said--" + +Rabourdin [interrupting him]. "Enough." [Goes out, taking Sebastien with +him. Poiret and Phellion look at each other in amazement, and do not +know what to say.] + +Poiret [to Phellion]. "Monsieur Rabourdin--" + +Phellion [to Poiret]. "Monsieur Rabourdin--" + +Poiret. "Well, I never! Monsieur Rabourdin!" + +Phellion. "But did you notice how calm and dignified he was?" + +Poiret [with a sly look that was more like a grimace]. "I shouldn't be +surprised if there were something under it all." + +Phellion. "A man of honor; pure and spotless." + +Poiret. "Who is?" + +Phellion. "Monsieur Poiret, you think as I think about Dutocq; surely +you understand me?" + +Poiret [nodding his head three times and answering with a shrewd look]. +"Yes." [The other clerks return.] + +Fleury. "A great shock; I still don't believe the thing. Monsieur +Rabourdin, a king among men! If such men are spies, it is enough to +disgust one with virtue. I have always put Rabourdin among Plutarch's +heroes." + +Vimeux. "It is all true." + +Poiret [reflecting that he had only five days more to stay in the +office]. "But, gentlemen, what do you say about the man who stole that +paper, who spied upon Rabourdin?" [Dutocq left the room.] + +Fleury. "I say he is a Judas Iscariot. Who is he?" + +Phellion [significantly]. "He is not here at /this moment/." + +Vimeux [enlightened]. "It is Dutocq!" + +Phellion. "I have no proof of it, gentlemen. While you were gone, that +young man, Monsieur de la Roche, nearly fainted here. See his tears on +my desk!" + +Poiret. "We held him fainting in our arms.--My key, the key of my +domicile!--dear, dear! it is down his back." [Poiret goes hastily out.] + +Vimeux. "The minister refused to transact business with Rabourdin +to-day; and Monsieur Saillard, to whom the secretary said a few words, +came to tell Monsieur Baudoyer to apply for the cross of the Legion of +honor,--there is one to be granted, you know, on New-Year's day, to all +the heads of divisions. It is quite clear what it all means. Monsieur +Rabourdin is sacrificed by the very persons who employed him. Bixiou +says so. We were all to be turned out, except Sebastien and Phellion." + +Du Bruel [entering]. "Well, gentlemen, is it true?" + +Thuillier. "To the last word." + +Du Bruel [putting his hat on again]. "Good-bye." [Hurries out.] + +Thuillier. "He may rush as much as he pleases to his Duc de Rhetore +and Duc de Maufrigneuse, but Colleville is to be our under-head-clerk, +that's certain." + +Phellion. "Du Bruel always seemed to be attached to Monsieur Rabourdin." + +Poiret [returning]. "I have had a world of trouble to get back my key. +That boy is crying still, and Monsieur Rabourdin has disappeared." +[Dutocq and Bixiou enter.] + +Bixiou. "Ha, gentlemen! strange things are going on in your bureau. Du +Bruel! I want you." [Looks into the adjoining room.] "Gone?" + +Thuillier. "Full speed." + +Bixiou. "What about Rabourdin?" + +Fleury. "Distilled, evaporated, melted! Such a man, the king of men, +that he--" + +Poiret [to Dutocq]. "That little Sebastien, in his trouble, said that +you, Monsieur Dutocq, had taken the paper from him ten days ago." + +Bixiou [looking at Dutocq]. "You must clear yourself of /that/, my good +friend." [All the clerks look fixedly at Dutocq.] + +Dutocq. "Where's the little viper who copied it?" + +Bixiou. "Copied it? How did you know he copied it? Ha! ha! it is only +the diamond that cuts the diamond." [Dutocq leaves the room.] + +Poiret. "Would you listen to me, Monsieur Bixiou? I have only five days +and a half to stay in this office, and I do wish that once, only once, I +might have the pleasure of understanding what you mean. Do me the honor +to explain what diamonds have to do with these present circumstances." + +Bixiou. "I meant papa,--for I'm willing for once to bring my intellect +down to the level of yours,--that just as the diamond alone can cut +the diamond, so it is only one inquisitive man who can defeat another +inquisitive man." + +Fleury. "'Inquisitive man' stands for 'spy.'" + +Poiret. "I don't understand." + +Bixiou. "Very well; try again some other time." + +Monsieur Rabourdin, after taking Sebastien to his room, had gone +straight to the minister; but the minister was at the Chamber of +Deputies. Rabourdin went at once to the Chamber, where he wrote a note +to his Excellency, who was at that moment in the tribune engaged in a +hot discussion. Rabourdin waited, not in the conference hall, but in +the courtyard, where, in spite of the cold, he resolved to remain and +intercept his Excellency as he got into his carriage. The usher of the +Chamber had told him that the minister was in the thick of a controversy +raised by the nineteen members of the extreme Left, and that the session +was likely to be stormy. Rabourdin walked to and for in the courtyard +of the palace for five mortal hours, a prey to feverish agitation. At +half-past six o'clock the session broke up, and the members filed out. +The minister's chasseur came up to find the coachman. + +"Hi, Jean!" he called out to him; "Monseigneur has gone with the +minister of war; they are going to see the King, and after that they +dine together, and we are to fetch him at ten o'clock. There's a Council +this evening." + +Rabourdin walked slowly home, in a state of despondency not difficult to +imagine. It was seven o'clock, and he had barely time to dress. + +"Well, you are appointed?" cried his wife, joyously, as he entered the +salon. + +Rabourdin raised his head with a grievous motion of distress and +answered, "I fear I shall never again set foot in the ministry." + +"What?" said his wife, quivering with sudden anxiety. + +"My memorandum on the officials is known in all the offices; and I have +not been able to see the minister." + +Celestine's eyes were opened to a sudden vision in which the devil, +in one of his infernal flashes, showed her the meaning of her last +conversation with des Lupeaulx. + +"If I had behaved like a low woman," she thought, "we should have had +the place." + +She looked at Rabourdin with grief in her heart. A sad silence fell +between them, and dinner was eaten in the midst of gloomy meditations. + +"And it is my Wednesday," she said at last. + +"All is not lost, dear Celestine," said Rabourdin, laying a kiss on his +wife's forehead; "perhaps to-morrow I shall be able to see the minister +and explain everything. Sebastien sat up all last night to finish the +writing; the papers are copied and collated; I shall place them on the +minister's desk and beg him to read them through. La Briere will help +me. A man is never condemned without a hearing." + +"I am curious to see if Monsieur des Lupeaulx will come here to-night." + +"He? Of course he will come," said Rabourdin; "there's something of the +tiger in him; he likes to lick the blood of the wounds he has given." + +"My poor husband," said his wife, taking his hand, "I don't see how it +is that a man who could conceive so noble a reform did not also see that +it ought not to be communicated to a single person. It is one of those +ideas that a man should keep in his own mind, for he alone can apply +them. A statesman must do in our political sphere as Napoleon did in +his; he stooped, twisted, crawled. Yes, Bonaparte crawled! To be made +commander-in-chief of the Army of Italy he married Barrere's mistress. +You should have waited, got yourself elected deputy, followed the +politics of a party, sometimes down in the depths, at other times on the +crest of the wave, and you should have taken, like Monsieur de Villele, +the Italian motto 'Col tempo,' in other words, 'All things are given to +him who knows how to wait.' That great orator worked for seven years to +get into power; he began in 1814 by protesting against the Charter +when he was the same age that you are now. Here's your fault; you have +allowed yourself to be kept subordinate, when you were born to rule." + +The entrance of the painter Schinner imposed silence on the wife and +husband, but these words made the latter thoughtful. + +"Dear friend," said the painter, grasping Rabourdin's hand, "the +support of artists is a useless thing enough, but let me say under these +circumstances that we are all faithful to you. I have just read the +evening papers. Baudoyer is appointed director and receives the cross of +the Legion of honor--" + +"I have been longer in the department, I have served twenty-four hours," +said Rabourdin with a smile. + +"I know Monsieur le Comte de Serizy, the minister of State, pretty well, +and if he can help you, I will go and see him," said Schinner. + +The salon soon filled with persons who knew nothing of the government +proceedings. Du Bruel did not appear. Madame Rabourdin was gayer and +more graceful than ever, like the charger wounded in battle, that still +finds strength to carry his master from the field. + +"She is very courageous," said a few women who knew the truth, and who +were charmingly attentive to her, understanding her misfortunes. + +"But she certainly did a great deal to attract des Lupeaulx," said the +Baronne du Chatelet to the Vicomtesse de Fontaine. + +"Do you think--" began the vicomtesse. + +"If so," interrupted Madame de Camps, in defence of her friend, +"Monsieur Rabourdin would at least have had the cross." + +About eleven o'clock des Lupeaulx appeared; and we can only describe him +by saying that his spectacles were sad and his eyes joyous; the glasses, +however, obscured the glances so successfully that only a physiognomist +would have seen the diabolical expression which they wore. He went up to +Rabourdin and pressed the hand which the latter could not avoid giving +him. + +Then he approached Madame Rabourdin. + +"We have much to say to each other," he remarked as he seated himself +beside the beautiful woman, who received him admirably. + +"Ah!" he continued, giving her a side glance, "you are grand indeed; I +find you just what I expected, glorious under defeat. Do you know that +it is a very rare thing to find a superior woman who answers to the +expectations formed of her. So defeat doesn't dishearten you? You are +right; we shall triumph in the end," he whispered in her ear. "Your fate +is always in your own hands,--so long, I mean, as your ally is a man who +adores you. We will hold counsel together." + +"But is Baudoyer appointed?" she asked. + +"Yes," said the secretary. + +"Does he get the cross?" + +"Not yet; but he will have it later." + +"Amazing!" + +"Ah! you don't understand political exigencies." + +During this evening, which seemed interminable to Madame Rabourdin, +another scene was occurring in the place Royale,--one of those comedies +which are played in seven Parisian salons whenever there is a change of +ministry. The Saillards' salon was crowded. Monsieur and Madame Transon +arrived at eight o'clock; Madame Transon kissed Madame Baudoyer, nee +Saillard. Monsieur Bataille, captain of the National Guard, came with +his wife and the curate of Saint Paul's. + +"Monsieur Baudoyer," said Madame Transon. "I wish to be the first to +congratulate you; they have done justice to your talents. You have +indeed earned your promotion." + +"Here you are, director," said Monsieur Transon, rubbing his hands, "and +the appointment is very flattering to this neighborhood." + +"And we can truly say it came to pass without any intriguing," said the +worthy Saillard. "We are none of us political intriguers; /we/ don't go +to select parties at the ministry." + +Uncle Mitral rubbed his nose and grinned as he glanced at his niece +Elisabeth, the woman whose hand had pulled the wires, who was talking +with Gigonnet. Falleix, honest fellow, did not know what to make of the +stupid blindness of Saillard and Baudoyer. Messieurs Dutocq, Bixiou, du +Bruel, Godard, and Colleville (the latter appointed head of the bureau) +entered. + +"What a crew!" whispered Bixiou to du Bruel. "I could make a fine +caricature of them in the shapes of fishes,--dorys, flounders, sharks, +and snappers, all dancing a saraband!" + +"Monsieur," said Colleville, "I come to offer you my congratulations; +or rather we congratulate ourselves in having such a man placed over us; +and we desire to assure you of the zeal with which we shall co-operate +in your labors. Allow me to say that this event affords a signal proof +to the truth of my axiom that a man's destiny lies in the letters of his +name. I may say that I knew of this appointment and of your other honors +before I heard of them, for I spend the night in anagrammatizing +your name as follows:" [proudly] "Isidore C. T. Baudoyer,--Director, +decorated by us (his Majesty the King, of course)." + +Baudoyer bowed and remarked piously that names were given in baptism. + +Monsieur and Madame Baudoyer, senior, father and mother of the +new director, were there to enjoy the glory of their son and +daughter-in-law. Uncle Gigonnet-Bidault, who had dined at the house, had +a restless, fidgety look in his eye which frightened Bixiou. + +"There's a queer one," said the latter to du Bruel, calling his +attention to Gigonnet, "who would do in a vaudeville. I wonder if he +could be bought. Such an old scarecrow is just the thing for a sign +over the Two Baboons. And what a coat! I did think there was nobody +but Poiret who could show the like after that after ten years' public +exposure to the inclemencies of Parisian weather." + +"Baudoyer is magnificent," said du Bruel. + +"Dazzling," answered Bixiou. + +"Gentlemen," said Baudoyer, "let me present you to my own uncle, +Monsieur Mitral, and to my great-uncle through my wife, Monsieur +Bidault." + +Gigonnet and Mitral gave a glance at the three clerks so penetrating, +so glittering with gleams of gold, that the two scoffers were sobered at +once. + +"Hein?" said Bixiou, when they were safely under the arcades in the +place Royale; "did you examine those uncles?--two copies of Shylock. +I'll bet their money is lent in the market at a hundred per cent per +week. They lend on pawn; and sell most that they lay hold of, coats, +gold lace, cheese, men, women, and children; they are a conglomeration +of Arabs, Jews, Genoese, Genevese, Greeks, Lombards, and Parisians, +suckled by a wolf and born of a Turkish woman." + +"I believe you," said Godard. "Uncle Mitral used to be a sheriff's +officer." + +"That settles it," said du Bruel. + +"I'm off to see the proof of my caricature," said Bixiou; "but I should +like to study the state of things in Rabourdin's salon to-night. You are +lucky to be able to go there, du Bruel." + +"I!" said the vaudevillist, "what should I do there? My face doesn't +lend itself to condolences. And it is very vulgar in these days to go +and see people who are down." + + + + +CHAPTER IX. THE RESIGNATION + + +By midnight Madame Rabourdin's salon was deserted; only two or three +guests remained with des Lupeaulx and the master and mistress of the +house. When Schinner and Monsieur and Madame de Camps had likewise +departed, des Lupeaulx rose with a mysterious air, stood with his back +to the fireplace and looked alternately at the husband and wife. + +"My friends," he said, "nothing is really lost, for the minister and I +are faithful to you. Dutocq simply chose between two powers the one he +thought strongest. He has served the court and the Grand Almoner; he +has betrayed me. But that is in the order of things; a politician never +complains of treachery. Nevertheless, Baudoyer will be dismissed as +incapable in a few months; no doubt his protectors will find him a +place,--in the prefecture of police, perhaps,--for the clergy will not +desert him." + +From this point des Lupeaulx went on with a long tirade about the Grand +Almoner and the dangers the government ran in relying upon the +church and upon the Jesuits. We need not, we think, point out to the +intelligent reader that the court and the Grand Almoner, to whom +the liberal journals attributed an enormous influence under the +administration, had little really to do with Monsieur Baudoyer's +appointment. Such petty intrigues die in the upper sphere of great +self-interests. If a few words in favor of Baudoyer were obtained by +the importunity of the curate of Saint-Paul's and the Abbe Gaudron, they +would have been withdrawn immediately at a suggestion from the minister. +The occult power of the Congregation of Jesus (admissible certainly as +confronting the bold society of the "Doctrine," entitled "Help yourself +and heaven will help you,") was formidable only through the imaginary +force conferred on it by subordinate powers who perpetually threatened +each other with its evils. The liberal scandal-mongers delighted in +representing the Grand Almoner and the whole Jesuitical Chapter as +political, administrative, civil, and military giants. Fear creates +bugbears. At this crisis Baudoyer firmly believed in the said Chapter, +little aware that the only Jesuits who had put him where he now was sat +by his own fireside, and in the Cafe Themis playing dominoes. + +At certain epochs in history certain powers appear, to whom all evils +are attributed, though at the same time their genius is denied; they +form an efficient argument in the mouth of fools. Just as Monsieur de +Talleyrand was supposed to hail all events of whatever kind with a bon +mot, so in these days of the Restoration the clerical party had the +credit of doing and undoing everything. Unfortunately, it did and undid +nothing. Its influence was not wielded by a Cardinal Richelieu or +a Cardinal Mazarin; it was in the hands of a species of Cardinal +de Fleury, who, timid for over five years, turned bold for one day, +injudiciously bold. Later on, the "Doctrine" did more, with impunity, +at Saint-Merri, than Charles X. pretended to do in July, 1830. If the +section on the censorship so foolishly introduced into the new charter +had been omitted, journalism also would have had its Saint-Merri. The +younger Branch could have legally carried out Charles X.'s plan. + +"Remain where you are, head of a bureau under Baudoyer," went on des +Lupeaulx. "Have the nerve to do this; make yourself a true politician; +put ideas and generous impulses aside; attend only to your functions; +don't say a word to your new director; don't help him with a suggestion; +and do nothing yourself without his order. In three months Baudoyer +will be out of the ministry, either dismissed, or stranded on some other +administrative shore. They may attach him to the king's household. +Twice in my life I have been set aside as you are, and overwhelmed by an +avalanche of folly; I have quietly waited and let it pass." + +"Yes," said Rabourdin, "but you were not calumniated; your honor was not +assailed, compromised--" + +"Ha, ha, ha!" cried des Lupeaulx, interrupting him with a burst of +Homeric laughter. "Why, that's the daily bread of every remarkable man +in this glorious kingdom of France! And there are but two ways to meet +such calumny,--either yield to it, pack up, and go plant cabbages in the +country; or else rise above it, march on, fearless, and don't turn your +head." + +"For me, there is but one way of untying the noose which treachery and +the work of spies have fastened round my throat," replied Rabourdin. +"I must explain the matter at once to his Excellency, and if you are +as sincerely attached to me as you say you are, you will put me face to +face with him to-morrow." + +"You mean that you wish to explain to him your plan for the reform of +the service?" + +Rabourdin bowed. + +"Well, then, trust the papers with me,--your memoranda, all the +documents. I promise you that he shall sit up all night and examine +them." + +"Let us go to him, then!" cried Rabourdin, eagerly; "six years' +toil certainly deserves two or three hours attention from the king's +minister, who will be forced to recognize, if he does not applaud, such +perseverance." + +Compelled by Rabourdin's tenacity to take a straightforward path, +without ambush or angle where his treachery could hide itself, des +Lupeaulx hesitated for a single instant, and looked at Madame Rabourdin, +while he inwardly asked himself, "Which shall I permit to triumph, my +hatred for him, or my fancy for her?" + +"You have no confidence in my honor," he said, after a pause. "I see +that you will always be to me the author of your /secret analysis/. +Adieu, madame." + +Madame Rabourdin bowed coldly. Celestine and Xavier returned at once to +their own rooms without a word; both were overcome by their misfortune. +The wife thought of the dreadful situation in which she stood toward her +husband. The husband, resolving slowly not to remain at the ministry but +to send in his resignation at once, was lost in a sea of reflections; +the crisis for him meant a total change of life and the necessity of +starting on a new career. All night he sat before his fire, taking +no notice of Celestine, who came in several times on tiptoe, in her +night-dress. + +"I must go once more to the ministry, to bring away my papers, and show +Baudoyer the routine of the business," he said to himself at last. "I +had better write my resignation now." + +He turned to his table and began to write, thinking over each clause of +the letter, which was as follows:-- + + Monseigneur,--I have the honor to inclose to your Excellency my + resignation. I venture to hope that you still remember hearing me + say that I left my honor in your hands, and that everything, for + me, depended on my being able to give you an immediate + explanation. + + This explanation I have vainly sought to give. To-day it would, + perhaps, be useless; for a fragment of my work relating to the + administration, stolen and misused, has gone the rounds of the + offices and is misinterpreted by hatred; in consequence, I find + myself compelled to resign, under the tacit condemnation of my + superiors. + + Your Excellency may have thought, on the morning when I first + sought to speak with you, that my purpose was to ask for my + promotion, when, in fact, I was thinking only of the glory and + usefulness of your ministry and of the public good. It is + all-important, I think, to correct that impression. + +Then followed the usual epistolary formulas. + +It was half-past seven in the morning when the man consummated the +sacrifice of his ideas; he burned everything, the toil of years. +Fatigued by the pressure of thought, overcome by mental suffering, he +fell asleep with his head on the back of his armchair. He was wakened by +a curious sensation, and found his hands covered with his wife's tears +and saw her kneeling before him. Celestine had read the resignation. She +could measure the depth of his fall. They were now to be reduced to +live on four thousand francs a year; and that day she had counted up her +debts,--they amounted to something like thirty-two thousand francs! The +most ignoble of all wretchedness had come upon them. And that noble man +who had trusted her was ignorant that she had abused the fortune he +had confided to her care. She was sobbing at his feet, beautiful as the +Magdalen. + +"My cup is full," cried Xavier, in terror. "I am dishonored at the +ministry, and dishonored--" + +The light of her pure honor flashed from Celestine's eyes; she sprang up +like a startled horse and cast a fulminating glance at Rabourdin. + +"I! I!" she said, on two sublime tones. "Am I a base wife? If I were, +you would have been appointed. But," she added mournfully, "it is easier +to believe that than to believe what is the truth." + +"Then what is it?" said Rabourdin. + +"All in three words," she said; "I owe thirty thousand francs." + +Rabourdin caught his wife to his heart with a gesture of almost frantic +joy, and seated her on his knee. + +"Take comfort, dear," he said, in a tone of voice so adorably kind +that the bitterness of her grief was changed to something inexpressibly +tender. "I too have made mistakes; I have worked uselessly for my +country when I thought I was being useful to her. But now I mean to take +another path. If I had sold groceries we should now be millionaires. +Well, let us be grocers. You are only twenty-eight, dear angel; in ten +years you shall recover the luxury that you love, which we must needs +renounce for a short time. I, too, dear heart, am not a base or common +husband. We will sell our farm; its value has increased of late. That +and the sale of our furniture will pay my debts." + +/My/ debts! Celestine embraced her husband a thousand times in the +single kiss with which she thanked him for that generous word. + +"We shall still have a hundred thousand francs to put into business. +Before the month is out I shall find some favorable opening. If luck +gave a Martin Falleix to a Saillard, why should we despair? Wait +breakfast for me. I am going now to the ministry, but I shall come back +with my neck free of the yoke." + +Celestine clasped her husband in her arms with a force men do not +possess, even in their passionate moments; for women are stronger +through emotion than men through power. She wept and laughed and sobbed +in turns. + +When Rabourdin left the house at eight o'clock, the porter gave him +the satirical cards suggested by Bixiou. Nevertheless, he went to the +ministry, where he found Sebastien waiting near the door to entreat him +not to enter any of the bureaus, because an infamous caricature of him +was making the round of the offices. + +"If you wish to soften the pain of my downfall," he said to the lad, +"bring me that drawing; I am now taking my resignation to Ernest de la +Briere myself, that it may not be altered or distorted while passing +through the routine channels. I have my own reasons for wishing to see +that caricature." + +When Rabourdin came back to the courtyard, after making sure that his +letter would go straight into the minister's hands, he found Sebastien +in tears, with a copy of the lithograph, which the lad reluctantly +handed over to him. + +"It is very clever," said Rabourdin, showing a serene brow to his +companion, though the crown of thorns was on it all the same. + +He entered the bureaus with a calm air, and went at once into Baudoyer's +section to ask him to come to the office of the head of the division and +receive instructions as to the business which that incapable being was +henceforth to direct. + +"Tell Monsieur Baudoyer that there must be no delay," he added, in the +hearing of all the clerks; "my resignation is already in the minister's +hands, and I do not wish to stay here longer than is necessary." + +Seeing Bixiou, Rabourdin went straight up to him, showed him the +lithograph, and said, to the great astonishment of all present,-- + +"Was I not right in saying you were an artist? Still, it is a pity you +directed the point of your pencil against a man who cannot be judged in +this way, nor indeed by the bureaus at all;--but everything is laughed +at in France, even God." + +Then he took Baudoyer into the office of the late La Billardiere. At the +door he found Phellion and Sebastien, the only two who, under his great +disaster, dared to remain openly faithful to the fallen man. Rabourdin +noticed that Phellion's eyes were moist, and he could not refrain from +wringing his hand. + +"Monsieur," said the good man, "if we can serve you in any way, make use +of us." + +Monsieur Rabourdin shut himself up in the late chief's office with +Monsieur Baudoyer, and Phellion helped him to show the new incumbent all +the administrative difficulties of his new position. At each separate +affair which Rabourdin carefully explained, Baudoyer's little eyes grew +big as saucers. + +"Farewell, monsieur," said Rabourdin at last, with a manner that was +half-solemn, half-satirical. + +Sebastien meanwhile had made up a package of papers and letters +belonging to his chief and had carried them away in a hackney coach. +Rabourdin passed through the grand courtyard, while all the clerks +were watching from the windows, and waited there a moment to see if the +minister would send him any message. His Excellency was dumb. Phellion +courageously escorted the fallen man to his home, expressing his +feelings of respectful admiration; then he returned to the office, and +took up his work, satisfied with his own conduct in rendering these +funeral honors to the neglected and misjudged administrative talent. + +Bixiou [seeing Phellion re-enter]. "Victrix cause diis placuit, sed +victa Catoni." + +Phellion. "Yes, monsieur." + +Poiret. "What does that mean?" + +Fleury. "That priests rejoice, and Monsieur Rabourdin has the respect of +men of honor." + +Dutocq [annoyed]. "You didn't say that yesterday." + +Fleury. "If you address me you'll have my hand in your face. It is known +for certain that you filched those papers from Monsieur Rabourdin." +[Dutocq leaves the office.] "Oh, yes, go and complain to your Monsieur +des Lupeaulx, spy!" + +Bixiou [laughing and grimacing like a monkey]. "I am curious to know how +the division will get along. Monsieur Rabourdin is so remarkable a man +that he must have had some special views in that work of his. Well, the +minister loses a fine mind." [Rubs his hands.] + +Laurent [entering]. "Monsieur Fleury is requested to go to the +secretary's office." + +All the clerks. "Done for!" + +Fleury [leaving the room]. "I don't care; I am offered a place as +responsible editor. I shall have all my time to myself to lounge the +streets or do amusing work in a newspaper office." + +Bixiou. "Dutocq has already made them cut off the head of that poor +Desroys." + +Colleville [entering joyously]. "Gentlemen, I am appointed head of this +bureau." + +Thuillier. "Ah, my friend, if it were I myself, I couldn't be better +pleased." + +Bixiou. "His wife has managed it." [Laughter.] + +Poiret. "Will any one tell me the meaning of all that is happening here +to-day?" + +Bixiou. "Do you really want to know? Then listen. The antechamber of the +administration is henceforth a chamber, the court is a boudoir, the best +way to get in is through the cellar, and the bed is more than ever a +cross-cut." + +Poiret. "Monsieur Bixiou, may I entreat you, explain?" + +Bixiou. "I'll paraphrase my opinion. To be anything at all you must +begin by being everything. It is quite certain that a reform of this +service is needed; for on my word of honor, the State robs the poor +officials as much as the officials rob the State in the matter of hours. +But why is it that we idle as we do? because they pay us too little; and +the reason of that is we are too many for the work, and your late +chief, the virtuous Rabourdin, saw all this plainly. That great +administrator,--for he was that, gentlemen,--saw what the thing +is coming to, the thing that these idiots call the 'working of +our admirable institutions.' The chamber will want before long to +administrate, and the administrators will want to legislate. The +government will try to administrate and the administrators will want to +govern, and so it will go on. Laws will come to be mere regulations, and +ordinances will be thought laws. God made this epoch of the world for +those who like to laugh. I live in a state of jovial admiration of +the spectacle which the greatest joker of modern times, Louis XVIII., +bequeathed to us" [general stupefaction]. "Gentlemen, if France, the +country with the best civil service in Europe, is managed thus, what +do you suppose the other nations are like? Poor unhappy nations! I ask +myself how they can possibly get along without two Chambers, without the +liberty of the press, without reports, without circulars even, without +an army of clerks? Dear, dear, how do you suppose they have armies and +navies? how can they exist at all without political discussions? +Can they even be called nations, or governments? It is said (mere +traveller's tales) that these strange peoples claim to have a policy, +to wield a certain influence; but that's absurd! how can they when +they haven't 'progress' or 'new lights'? They can't stir up ideas, +they haven't an independent forum; they are still in the twilight of +barbarism. There are no people in the world but the French people who +have ideas. Can you understand, Monsieur Poiret," [Poiret jumped as +if he had been shot] "how a nation can do without heads of divisions, +general-secretaries and directors, and all this splendid array of +officials, the glory of France and of the Emperor Napoleon,--who had his +own good reasons for creating a myriad of offices? I don't see how those +nations have the audacity to live at all. There's Austria, which has +less than a hundred clerks in her war ministry, while the salaries and +pensions of ours amount to a third of our whole budget, a thing that was +unheard of before the Revolution. I sum up all I've been saying in +one single remark, namely, that the Academy of Inscriptions and +Belles-lettres, which seems to have very little to do, had better offer +a prize for the ablest answer to the following question: Which is the +best organized State; the one that does many things with few officials, +or the one that does next to nothing with an army of them?" + +Poiret. "Is that your last word?" + +Bixiou. "Yes, sir! whether English, French, German or Italian,--I let +you off the other languages." + +Poiret [lifting his hands to heaven]. "Gracious goodness! and they call +you a witty man!" + +Bixiou. "Haven't you understood me yet?" + +Phellion. "Your last observation was full of excellent sense." + +Bixiou. "Just as full as the budget itself, and like the budget again, +as complicated as it looks simple; and I set it as a warning, a beacon, +at the edge of this hole, this gulf, this volcano, called, in the +language of the 'Constitutionel,' 'the political horizon.'" + +Poiret. "I should much prefer a comprehensible explanation." + +Bixiou. "Hurrah for Rabourdin! there's my explanation; that's my +opinion. Are you satisfied?" + +Colleville [gravely]. "Monsieur Rabourdin had but one defect." + +Poiret. "What was it?" + +Colleville. "That of being a statesman instead of a subordinate +official." + +Phellion [standing before Bixiou]. "Monsieur! why did you, who +understand Monsieur Rabourdin so well, why did you make that inf--that +odi--that hideous caricature?" + +Bixiou. "Do you forget our bet? don't you know I was backing the devil's +game, and that your bureau owes me a dinner at the Rocher de Cancale?" + +Poiret [much put-out]. "Then it is a settled thing that I am to leave +this government office without ever understanding a sentence, or a +single word uttered by Monsieur Bixiou." + +Bixiou. "It is your own fault; ask these gentlemen. Gentlemen, have you +understood the meaning of my observations? and were those observations +just, and brilliant?" + +All. "Alas, yes!" + +Minard. "And the proof is that I shall send in my resignation. I shall +plunge into industrial avocations." + +Bixiou. "What! have you managed to invent a mechanical corset, or a +baby's bottle, or a fire engine, or chimneys that consume no fuel, or +ovens which cook cutlets with three sheets of paper?" + +Minard [departing.] "Adieu, I shall keep my secret." + +Bixiou. "Well, young Poiret junior, you see,--all these gentlemen +understand me." + +Poiret [crest-fallen]. "Monsieur Bixiou, would you do me the honor +to come down for once to my level and speak in a language I can +understand?" + +Bixiou [winking at the rest]. "Willingly." [Takes Poiret by the button +of his frock-coat.] "Before you leave this office forever perhaps you +would be glad to know what you are--" + +Poiret [quickly]. "An honest man, monsieur." + +Bixiou [shrugging his shoulders]. "--to be able to define, explain, and +analyze precisely what a government clerk is? Do you know what he is?" + +Poiret. "I think I do." + +Bixiou [twisting the button]. "I doubt it." + +Poiret. "He is a man paid by government to do work." + +Bixiou. "Oh! then a soldier is a government clerk?" + +Poiret [puzzled]. "Why, no." + +Bixiou. "But he is paid by the government to do work, to mount guard and +show off at reviews. You may perhaps tell me that he longs to get out of +his place,--that he works too hard and fingers too little metal, except +that of his musket." + +Poiret [his eyes wide open]. "Monsieur, a government clerk is, logically +speaking, a man who needs the salary to maintain himself, and is not +free to get out of his place; for he doesn't know how to do anything but +copy papers." + +Bixiou. "Ah! now we are coming to a conclusion. So the bureau is the +clerk's shell, husk, pod. No clerk without a bureau, no bureau without +a clerk. But what do you make, then, of a customs officer?" [Poiret +shuffles his feet and tries to edge away; Bixiou twists off one button +and catches him by another.] "He is, from the bureaucratic point of +view, a neutral being. The excise-man is only half a clerk; he is on the +confines between civil and military service; neither altogether soldier +nor altogether clerk--Here, here, where are you going?" [Twists the +button.] "Where does the government clerk proper end? That's a serious +question. Is a prefect a clerk?" + +Poiret [hesitating]. "He is a functionary." + +Bixiou. "But you don't mean that a functionary is not a clerk? that's an +absurdity." + +Poiret [weary and looking round for escape]. "I think Monsieur Godard +wants to say something." + +Godard. "The clerk is the order, the functionary the species." + +Bixiou [laughing]. "I shouldn't have thought you capable of that +distinction, my brave subordinate." + +Poiret [trying to get away]. "Incomprehensible!" + +Bixiou. "La, la, papa, don't step on your tether. If you stand still and +listen, we shall come to an understanding before long. Now, here's an +axiom which I bequeath to this bureau and to all bureaus: Where the +clerk ends, the functionary begins; where the functionary ends, the +statesman rises. There are very few statesmen among the prefects. The +prefect is therefore a neutral being among the higher species. He comes +between the statesman and the clerk, just as the custom-house officer +stands between the civil and the military. Let us continue to clear up +these important points." [Poiret turns crimson with distress.] "Suppose +we formulate the whole matter in a maxim worthy of Larochefoucault: +Officials with salaries of twenty thousand francs are not clerks. From +which we may deduce mathematically this corollary: The statesman first +looms up in the sphere of higher salaries; and also this second and +not less logical and important corollary: Directors-general may be +statesmen. Perhaps it is in that sense that more than one deputy says +in his heart, 'It is a fine thing to be a director-general.' But in the +interests of our noble French language and of the Academy--" + +Poiret [magnetized by the fixity of Bixiou's eye]. "The French language! +the Academy!" + +Bixiou [twisting off the second button and seizing another]. "Yes, in +the interests of our noble tongue, it is proper to observe that although +the head of a bureau, strictly speaking, may be called a clerk, the head +of a division must be called a bureaucrat. These gentlemen" [turning +to the clerks and privately showing them the third button off Poiret's +coat] "will appreciate this delicate shade of meaning. And so, papa +Poiret, don't you see it is clear that the government clerk comes to +a final end at the head of a division? Now that question once settled, +there is no longer any uncertainty; the government clerk who has +hitherto seemed undefinable is defined." + +Poiret. "Yes, that appears to me beyond a doubt." + +Bixiou. "Nevertheless, do me the kindness to answer the following +question: A judge being irremovable, and consequently debarred from +being, according to your subtle distinction, a functionary, and +receiving a salary which is not the equivalent of the work he does, is +he to be included in the class of clerks?" + +Poiret [gazing at the cornice]. "Monsieur, I don't follow you." + +Bixiou [getting off the fourth button]. "I wanted to prove to you, +monsieur, that nothing is simple; but above all--and what I am going to +say is intended for philosophers--I wish (if you'll allow me to misquote +a saying of Louis XVIII.),--I wish to make you see that definitions lead +to muddles." + +Poiret [wiping his forehead]. "Excuse me, I am sick at my stomach" +[tries to button his coat]. "Ah! you have cut off all my buttons!" + +Bixiou. "But the point is, /do you understand me/?" + +Poiret [angrily]. "Yes, monsieur, I do; I understand that you have been +playing me a shameful trick and twisting off my buttons while I have +been standing here unconscious of it." + +Bixiou [solemnly]. "Old man, you are mistaken! I wished to stamp upon +your brain the clearest possible image of constitutional government" +[all the clerks look at Bixiou; Poiret, stupefied, gazes at him +uneasily], "and also to keep my word to you. In so doing I employed +the parabolical method of savages. Listen and comprehend: While the +ministers start discussions in the Chambers that are just about +as useful and as conclusive as the one we are engaged in, the +administration cuts the buttons off the tax-payers." + +All. "Bravo, Bixiou!" + +Poiret [who comprehends]. "I don't regret my buttons." + +Bixiou. "I shall follow Minard's example; I won't pocket such a +paltry salary as mine any longer; I shall deprive the government of my +co-operation." [Departs amid general laughter.] + +Another scene was taking place in the minister's reception-room, more +instructive than the one we have just related, because it shows how +great ideas are allowed to perish in the higher regions of State +affairs, and in what way statesmen console themselves. + +Des Lupeaulx was presenting the new director, Monsieur Baudoyer, to the +minister. A number of persons were assembled in the salon,--two or three +ministerial deputies, a few men of influence, and Monsieur Clergeot +(whose division was now merged with La Billardiere's under Baudoyer's +direction), to whom the minister was promising an honorable pension. +After a few general remarks, the great event of the day was brought up. + +A deputy. "So you lose Rabourdin?" + +Des Lupeaulx. "He has resigned." + +Clergeot. "They say he wanted to reform the administration." + +The Minister [looking at the deputies]. "Salaries are not really in +proportion to the exigencies of the civil service." + +De la Briere. "According to Monsieur Rabourdin, one hundred clerks with +a salary of twelve thousand francs would do better and quicker work than +a thousand clerks at twelve hundred." + +Clergeot. "Perhaps he is right." + +The Minister. "But what is to be done? The machine is built in that way. +Must we take it to pieces and remake it? No one would have the courage +to attempt that in face of the Chamber, and the foolish outcries of the +Opposition, and the fierce denunciations of the press. It follows +that there will happen, one of these days, some damaging 'solution of +continuity' between the government and the administration." + +A deputy. "In what way?" + +The Minister. "In many ways. A minister will want to serve the public +good, and will not be allowed to do so. You will create interminable +delays between things and their results. You may perhaps render the +theft of a penny actually impossible, but you cannot prevent the buying +and selling of influence, the collusions of self-interest. The day will +come when nothing will be conceded without secret stipulations, which +may never see the light. Moreover, the clerks, one and all, from the +least to the greatest, are acquiring opinions of their own; they will +soon be no longer the hands of a brain, the scribes of governmental +thought; the Opposition even now tends towards giving them a right to +judge the government and to talk and vote against it." + +Baudoyer [in a low voice, but meaning to be heard]. "Monseigneur is +really fine." + +Des Lupeaulx. "Of course bureaucracy has its defects. I myself think it +slow and insolent; it hampers ministerial action, stifles projects, and +arrests progress. But, after all, French administration is amazingly +useful." + +Baudoyer. "Certainly!" + +Des Lupeaulx. "If only to maintain the paper and stamp industries! +Suppose it is rather fussy and provoking, like all good +housekeepers,--it can at any moment render an account of its +disbursements. Where is the merchant who would not gladly give five +per cent of his entire capital if he could insure himself against +/leakage/?" + +The Deputy [a manufacturer]. "The manufacturing interests of all nations +would joyfully unite against that evil genius of theirs called leakage." + +Des Lupeaulx. "After all, though statistics are the childish foible of +modern statesmen, who think that figures are estimates, we must cipher +to estimate. Figures are, moreover, the convincing argument of societies +based on self-interest and money, and that is the sort of society the +Charter has given us,--in my opinion, at any rate. Nothing convinces the +'intelligent masses' as much as a row of figures. All things in the long +run, say the statesmen of the Left, resolve themselves into figures. +Well then, let us figure" [the minister here goes off into a corner with +a deputy, to whom he talks in a low voice]. "There are forty thousand +government clerks in France. The average of their salaries is fifteen +hundred francs. Multiply forty thousand by fifteen hundred and you have +sixty millions. Now, in the first place, a publicist would call the +attention of Russia and China (where all government officials steal), +also that of Austria, the American republics, and indeed that of the +whole world, to the fact that for this price France possesses the +most inquisitorial, fussy, ferreting, scribbling, paper-blotting, +fault-finding old housekeeper of a civil service on God's earth. Not a +copper farthing of the nation's money is spent or hoarded that is not +ordered by a note, proved by vouchers, produced and re-produced on +balance-sheets, and receipted for when paid; orders and receipts are +registered on the rolls, and checked and verified by an army of men +in spectacles. If there is the slightest mistake in the form of these +precious documents, the clerk is terrified, for he lives on such +minutiae. Some nations would be satisfied to get as far as this; +but Napoleon went further. That great organizer appointed supreme +magistrates of a court which is absolutely unique in the world. These +officials pass their days in verifying money-orders, documents, roles, +registers, lists, permits, custom-house receipts, payments, taxes +received, taxes spent, etc.; all of which the clerks write or +copy. These stern judges push the gift of exactitude, the genius of +inquisition, the sharp-sightedness of lynxes, the perspicacity of +account-books to the point of going over all the additions in search of +subtractions. These sublime martyrs to figures have been known to return +to an army commissary, after a delay of two years, some account in which +there was an error of two farthings. This is how and why it is that the +French system of administration, the purest and best on the globe +has rendered robbery, as his Excellency has just told you, next to +impossible, and as for peculation, it is a myth. France at this present +time possesses a revenue of twelve hundred millions, and she spends it. +That sum enters her treasury, and that sum goes out of it. She handles, +therefore, two thousand four hundred millions, and all she pays for the +labor of those who do the work is sixty millions,--two and a half per +cent; and for that she obtains the certainty that there is no leakage. +Our political and administrative kitchen costs us sixty millions, but +the gendarmerie, the courts of law, the galleys and the police cost just +as much, and give no return. Moreover, we employ a body of men who could +do no other work. Waste and disorder, if such there be, can only be +legislative; the Chambers lead to them and render them legal. Leakage +follows in the form of public works which are neither urgent nor +necessary; troops re-uniformed and gold-laced over and over again; +vessels sent on useless cruises; preparations for war without ever +making it; paying the debts of a State, and not requiring reimbursement +or insisting on security." + +Baudoyer. "But such leakage has nothing to do with the subordinate +officials; this bad management of national affairs concerns the +statesmen who guide the ship." + +The Minister [who has finished his conversation]. "There is a great deal +of truth in what des Lupeaulx has just said; but let me tell you" [to +Baudoyer], "Monsieur le directeur, that few men see from the standpoint +of a statesman. To order expenditure of all kinds, even useless ones, +does not constitute bad management. Such acts contribute to the movement +of money, the stagnation of which becomes, especially in France, +dangerous to the public welfare, by reason of the miserly and profoundly +illogical habits of the provinces which hoard their gold." + +The Deputy [who listened to des Lupeaulx]. "But it seems to me that +if your Excellency was right just now, and if our clever friend here" +[takes Lupeaulx by the arm] "was not wrong, it will be difficult to come +to any conclusion on the subject." + +Des Lupeaulx [after looking at the minister]. "No doubt something ought +to be done." + +De la Briere [timidly]. "Monsieur Rabourdin seems to have judged +rightly." + +The Minister. "I will see Rabourdin." + +Des Lupeaulx. "The poor man made the blunder of constituting himself +supreme judge of the administration and of all the officials who compose +it; he wants to do away with the present state of things, and he demands +that there be only three ministries." + +The Minister. "He must be crazy." + +The Deputy. "How do you represent in three ministries the heads of all +the parties in the Chamber?" + +Baudoyer [with an air that he imagined to be shrewd]. "Perhaps Monsieur +Rabourdin desired to change the Constitution, which we owe to our +legislative sovereign." + +The Minister [thoughtful, takes La Briere's arm and leads him into the +study]. "I want to see that work of Rabourdin's, and as you know about +it--" + +De la Briere. "He has burned it. You allowed him to be dishonored and he +has resigned from the ministry. Do not think for a moment, Monseigneur, +that Rabourdin ever had the absurd thought (as des Lupeaulx tries to +make it believed) to change the admirable centralization of power." + +The Minister [to himself]. "I have made a mistake" [is silent a moment]. +"No matter; we shall never be lacking in plans for reform." + +De la Briere. "It is not ideas, but men capable of executing them that +we lack." + +Des Lupeaulx, that adroit advocate of abuses came into the minister's +study at this moment. + +"Monseigneur, I start at once for my election." + +"Wait a moment," said his Excellency, leaving the private secretary and +taking des Lupeaulx by the arm into the recess of a window. "My dear +friend, let me have that arrondissement,--if you will, you shall be +made count and I will pay your debts. Later, if I remain in the ministry +after the new Chamber is elected, I will find a way to send in your name +in a batch for the peerage." + +"You are a man of honor, and I accept." + +This is how it came to pass that Clement Chardin des Lupeaulx, whose +father was ennobled under Louis XV., and who beareth quarterly, first, +argent, a wolf ravisant carrying a lamb gules; second, purpure, three +mascles argent, two and one; third, paly of twelve, gules and argent; +fourth, or, on a pale endorsed, three batons fleurdelises gules; +supported by four griffon's-claws jessant from the sides of the +escutcheon, with the motto "En Lupus in Historia," was able to surmount +these rather satirical arms with a count's coronet. + +Towards the close of the year 1830 Monsieur Rabourdin did some business +on hand which required him to visit the old ministry, where the +bureaus had all been in great commotion, owing to a general removal +of officials, from the highest to the lowest. This revolution bore +heaviest, in point of fact, upon the lackeys, who are not fond of seeing +new faces. Rabourdin had come early, knowing all the ways of the place, +and he thus chanced to overhear a dialogue between the two nephews of +old Antoine, who had recently retired on a pension. + +"Well, Laurent, how is your chief of division going on?" + +"Oh, don't talk to me about him; I can't do anything with him. He +rings me up to ask if I have seen his handkerchief or his snuff-box. He +receives people without making them wait; in short, he hasn't a bit of +dignity. I'm often obliged to say to him: But, monsieur, monsieur le +comte your predecessor, for the credit of the thing, used to punch +holes with his penknife in the arms of his chair to make believe he +was working. And he makes such a mess of his room. I find everything +topsy-turvy. He has a very small mind. How about your man?" + +"Mine? Oh, I have succeeded in training him. He knows exactly where his +letter-paper and envelopes, his wood, and his boxes and all the rest of +his things are. The other man used to swear at me, but this one is as +meek as a lamb,--still, he hasn't the grand style! Moreover, he isn't +decorated, and I don't like to serve a chief who isn't; he might be +taken for one of us, and that's humiliating. He carries the office +letter-paper home, and asked me if I couldn't go there and wait at table +when there was company." + +"Hey! what a government, my dear fellow!" + +"Yes, indeed; everybody plays low in these days." + +"I hope they won't cut down our poor wages." + +"I'm afraid they will. The Chambers are prying into everything. Why, +they even count the sticks of wood." + +"Well, it can't last long if they go on that way." + +"Hush, we're caught! somebody is listening." + +"Hey! it is the late Monsieur Rabourdin. Ah, monsieur, I knew your step. +If you have business to transact here I am afraid you will not find any +one who is aware of the respect that ought to be paid to you; Laurent +and I are the only persons remaining about the place who were here in +your day. Messieurs Colleville and Baudoyer didn't wear out the morocco +of the chairs after you left. Heavens, no! six months later they were +made Collectors of Paris." + +* * * * * + +Note.--Anagrams cannot, of course, be translated; that is why three +English ones have been substituted for some in French. [Tr.] + + + + +ADDENDUM + +The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy. + + Baudoyer, Isidore + The Middle Classes + Cousin Pons + + Bianchon, Horace + Father Goriot + The Atheist's Mass + Cesar Birotteau + The Commission in Lunacy + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Bachelor's Establishment + The Secrets of a Princess + Pierrette + A Study of Woman + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + Honorine + The Seamy Side of History + The Magic Skin + A Second Home + A Prince of Bohemia + Letters of Two Brides + The Muse of the Department + The Imaginary Mistress + The Middle Classes + Cousin Betty + The Country Parson + In addition, M. Bianchon narrated the following: + Another Study of Woman + La Grande Breteche + + Bidault (known as Gigonnet) + Gobseck + The Vendetta + Cesar Birotteau + The Firm of Nucingen + A Daughter of Eve + + Bixiou, Jean-Jacques + The Purse + A Bachelor's Establishment + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + Beatrix + A Man of Business + Gaudissart II. + The Unconscious Humorists + Cousin Pons + + Brezacs (The) + The Country Parson + + Bruel, Jean Francois du + A Bachelor's Establishment + A Start in Life + A Prince of Bohemia + The Middle Classes + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Daughter of Eve + + Camps, Madame Octave de + Madame Firmiani + A Woman of Thirty + A Daughter of Eve + The Member for Arcis + + Chaboisseau + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Man of Business + + Chatelet, Marie-Louise-Anais de Negrepelisse, Baronne du + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + + Chessel, Madame de + The Lily of the Valley + + Cochin, Emile-Louis-Lucien-Emmanuel + Cesar Birotteau + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + + Colleville + The Middle Classes + + Colleville, Flavie Minoret, Madame + Cousin Betty + The Middle Classes + + Desplein + The Atheist's Mass + Cousin Pons + Lost Illusions + The Thirteen + Pierrette + A Bachelor's Establishment + The Seamy Side of History + Modest Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + Honorine + + Desroches (son) + A Bachelor's Establishment + Colonel Chabert + A Start in Life + A Woman of Thirty + The Commission in Lunacy + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Firm of Nucingen + A Man of Business + The Middle Classes + + Dutocq + The Middle Classes + + Falleix, Martin + The Firm of Nucingen + + Falleix, Jacques + The Thirteen + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + + Ferraud, Comtesse + Colonel Chabert + + Finot, Andoche + Cesar Birotteau + A Bachelor's Establishment + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + A Start in Life + Gaudissart the Great + The Firm of Nucingen + + Fleury + The Middle Classes + + Fontaine, Comte de + The Chouans + Modeste Mignon + The Ball at Sceaux + Cesar Birotteau + + Fontanon, Abbe + A Second Home + Honorine + The Member for Arcis + + Gaudron, Abbe + Honorine + A Start in Life + + Gobseck, Jean-Esther Van + Gobseck + Father Goriot + Cesar Birotteau + The Unconscious Humorists + + Godard, Joseph + The Middle Classes + + Granson, Athanase + Jealousies of a Country Town + + Gruget, Madame Etienne + The Thirteen + A Bachelor's Establishment + + Keller, Francois + Domestic Peace + Cesar Birotteau + Eugenie Grandet + The Member for Arcis + + La Bastie la Briere, Ernest de + Modeste Mignon + + La Billardiere, Athanase-Jean-Francois-Michel, Baron Flamet de + The Chouans + Cesar Birotteau + + Laudigeois + The Middle Classes + + Louis XVIII., Louis-Stanislas-Xavier + The Chouans + The Seamy Side of History + The Gondreville Mystery + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Ball at Sceaux + The Lily of the Valley + Colonel Chabert + + Lupeaulx, Clement Chardin des + The Muse of the Department + Eugenie Grandet + A Bachelor's Establishment + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + Ursule Mirouet + + Metivier + Lost Illusions + The Middle Classes + + Minard, Auguste-Jean-Francois + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + + Minard, Madame + The Middle Classes + + Minorets, The + The Peasantry + + Mitral + Cesar Birotteau + + Nathan, Madame Raoul + The Muse of the Department + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + A Bachelor's Establishment + Ursule Mirouet + Eugenie Grandet + The Imaginary Mistress + A Prince of Bohemia + A Daughter of Eve + The Unconscious Humorists + + Phellion + The Middle Classes + + Poiret, the elder + Father Goriot + A Start in Life + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + The Middle Classes + + Rabourdin, Xavier + At the Sign of the Cat and Racket + Cesar Birotteau + The Middle Classes + + Rabourdin, Madame + The Commission in Lunacy + + Rubempre, Lucien-Chardon de + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Ursule Mirouet + Scenes from a Courtesan's Life + + Saillard + The Middle Classes + + Samanon + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Man of Business + Cousin Betty + + Schinner, Hippolyte + The Purse + A Bachelor's Establishment + Pierre Grassou + A Start in Life + Albert Savarus + Modeste Mignon + The Imaginary Mistress + The Unconscious Humorists + + Sommervieux, Theodore de + At the Sign of the Cat and Racket + Modeste Mignon + + Thuillier + The Middle Classes + + Thuillier, Marie-Jeanne-Brigitte + The Middle Classes + + Thuillier, Louis-Jerome + The Middle Classes + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Bureaucracy, by Honore de Balzac + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BUREAUCRACY *** + +***** This file should be named 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