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diff --git a/1343-h/1343-h.htm b/1343-h/1343-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..aa61efc --- /dev/null +++ b/1343-h/1343-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,9865 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" lang="en"> + <head> + <title> + Bureaucracy, by Honore de Balzac + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> + + body { margin:5%; background:#faebd0; text-align:justify} + P { text-indent: 1em; margin-top: .25em; margin-bottom: .25em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; margin-left: 15%; margin-right: 15%; } + hr { width: 50%; text-align: center;} + .foot { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; text-indent: -3em; font-size: 90%; } + blockquote {font-size: 97%; font-style: italic; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + .mynote {background-color: #DDE; color: #000; padding: .5em; margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 95%;} + .toc { margin-left: 10%; margin-bottom: .75em;} + .toc2 { margin-left: 20%;} + div.fig { display:block; margin:0 auto; text-align:center; } + div.middle { margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 20%; text-align: justify; } + .figleft {float: left; margin-left: 0%; margin-right: 1%;} + .figright {float: right; margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 1%;} + .pagenum {display:inline; font-size: 70%; font-style:normal; + margin: 0; padding: 0; position: absolute; right: 1%; + text-align: right;} + pre { font-style: italic; font-size: 90%; margin-left: 10%;} + +</style> + </head> + <body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1343 ***</div> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h1> + BUREAUCRACY + </h1> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h2> + By Honore De Balzac + </h2> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + Translated By Katharine Prescott Wormeley + </h3> + <p> + <br /><br /> + </p> + <h3> + DEDICATION<br /><br /> To the Comtesse Seraphina San Severino, with the + respectful<br /> homage of sincere and deep admiration<br /><br /> De Balzac<br /> + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <h2> + Contents + </h2> + <h3> + <a href="#link2H_4_0001"> <b>BUREAUCRACY</b> </a> + </h3> + <h3> + </h3> + <table summary="" style="margin-right: auto; margin-left: auto"> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#link2HCH0001"> CHAPTER I. </a> + </td> + <td> + THE RABOURDIN HOUSEHOLD + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#link2HCH0002"> CHAPTER II. </a> + </td> + <td> + MONSIEUR DES LUPEAULX + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#link2HCH0003"> CHAPTER III. </a> + </td> + <td> + THE TEREDOS NAVALIS, OTHERWISE CALLED SHIP-WORM + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#link2HCH0004"> CHAPTER IV. </a> + </td> + <td> + THREE-QUARTER LENGTH PORTRAITS OF CERTAIN GOVERNMENT + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#link2HCH0005"> CHAPTER V. </a> + </td> + <td> + THE MACHINE IN MOTION + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#link2HCH0006"> CHAPTER VI. </a> + </td> + <td> + THE WORMS AT WORK + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#link2HCH0007"> CHAPTER VII. </a> + </td> + <td> + SCENES FROM DOMESTIC LIFE + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#link2HCH0008"> CHAPTER VIII. </a> + </td> + <td> + FORWARD, MOLLUSKS! + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td> + <a href="#link2HCH0009"> CHAPTER IX. </a> + </td> + <td> + THE RESIGNATION + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <h3> + <a href="#link2H_4_0011"> ADDENDUM </a> + </h3> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0001" id="link2H_4_0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <h1> + BUREAUCRACY + </h1> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0001" id="link2HCH0001"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER I. THE RABOURDIN HOUSEHOLD + </h2> + <p> + In Paris, where men of thought and study bear a certain likeness to one + another, living as they do in a common centre, you must have met with + several resembling Monsieur Rabourdin, whose acquaintance we are about to + make at a moment when he is head of a bureau in one of our most important + ministries. At this period he was forty years old, with gray hair of so + pleasing a shade that women might at a pinch fall in love with it for it + softened a somewhat melancholy countenance, blue eyes full of fire, a skin + that was still fair, though rather ruddy and touched here and there with + strong red marks; a forehead and nose a la Louis XV., a serious mouth, a + tall figure, thin, or perhaps wasted, like that of a man just recovering + from illness, and finally, a bearing that was midway between the indolence + of a mere idler and the thoughtfulness of a busy man. If this portrait + serves to depict his character, a sketch of this man’s dress will bring it + still further into relief. Rabourdin wore habitually a blue surcoat, a + white cravat, a waistcoat crossed a la Robespierre, black trousers without + straps, gray silk stockings and low shoes. Well-shaved, and with his + stomach warmed by a cup of coffee, he left home at eight in the morning + with the regularity of clock-work, always passing along the same streets + on his way to the ministry: so neat was he, so formal, so starched that he + might have been taken for an Englishman on the road to his embassy. + </p> + <p> + From these general signs you will readily discern a family man, harassed + by vexations in his own household, worried by annoyances at the ministry, + yet philosopher enough to take life as he found it; an honest man, loving + his country and serving it, not concealing from himself the obstacles in + the way of those who seek to do right; prudent, because he knew men; + exquisitely courteous with women, of whom he asked nothing,—a man + full of acquirements, affable with his inferiors, holding his equals at + great distance, and dignified towards his superiors. At the epoch of which + we write, you would have noticed in him the coldly resigned air of one who + has buried the illusions of his youth and renounced every secret ambition; + you would have recognized a discouraged, but not disgusted man, one who + still clings to his first projects,—more perhaps to employ his + faculties than in the hope of a doubtful success. He was not decorated + with any order, and always accused himself of weakness for having worn + that of the Fleur-de-lis in the early days of the Restoration. + </p> + <p> + The life of this man was marked by certain mysterious peculiarities. He + had never known his father; his mother, a woman to whom luxury was + everything, always elegantly dressed, always on pleasure bent, whose + beauty seemed to him miraculous and whom he very seldom saw, left him + little at her death; but she had given him that too common and incomplete + education which produces so much ambition and so little ability. A few + days before his mother’s death, when he was just sixteen, he left the + Lycee Napoleon to enter as supernumerary a government office, where an + unknown protector had provided him with a place. At twenty-two years of + age Rabourdin became under-head-clerk; at twenty-five, head-clerk, or, as + it was termed, head of the bureau. From that day the hand that assisted + the young man to start in life was never felt again in his career, except + as to a single circumstance; it led him, poor and friendless, to the house + of a Monsieur Leprince, formerly an auctioneer, a widower said to be + extremely rich, and father of an only daughter. Xavier Rabourdin fell + desperately in love with Mademoiselle Celestine Leprince, then seventeen + years of age, who had all the matrimonial claims of a dowry of two hundred + thousand francs. Carefully educated by an artistic mother, who transmitted + her own talents to her daughter, this young lady was fitted to attract + distinguished men. Tall, handsome, and finely-formed, she was a good + musician, drew and painted, spoke several languages, and even knew + something of science,—a dangerous advantage, which requires a woman + to avoid carefully all appearance of pedantry. Blinded by mistaken + tenderness, the mother gave the daughter false ideas as to her probable + future; to the maternal eyes a duke or an ambassador, a marshal of France + or a minister of State, could alone give her Celestine her due place in + society. The young lady had, moreover, the manners, language, and habits + of the great world. Her dress was richer and more elegant than was + suitable for an unmarried girl; a husband could give her nothing more than + she now had, except happiness. Besides all such indulgences, the foolish + spoiling of the mother, who died a year after the girl’s marriage, made a + husband’s task all the more difficult. What coolness and composure of mind + were needed to rule such a woman! Commonplace suitors held back in fear. + Xavier Rabourdin, without parents and without fortune other than his + situation under government, was proposed to Celestine by her father. She + resisted for a long time; not that she had any personal objection to her + suitor, who was young, handsome, and much in love, but she shrank from the + plain name of Madame Rabourdin. Monsieur Leprince assured his daughter + that Xavier was of the stock that statesmen came of. Celestine answered + that a man named Rabourdin would never be anything under the government of + the Bourbons, etc. Forced back to his intrenchments, the father made the + serious mistake of telling his daughter that her future husband was + certain of becoming Rabourdin “de something or other” before he reached + the age of admission to the Chamber. Xavier was soon to be appointed + Master of petitions, and general-secretary at his ministry. From these + lower steps of the ladder the young man would certainly rise to the higher + ranks of the administration, possessed of a fortune and a name bequeathed + to him in a certain will of which he, Monsieur Leprince, was cognizant. On + this the marriage took place. + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin and his wife believed in the mysterious protector to whom the + auctioneer alluded. Led away by such hopes and by the natural extravagance + of happy love, Monsieur and Madame Rabourdin spent nearly one hundred + thousand francs of their capital in the first five years of married life. + By the end of this time Celestine, alarmed at the non-advancement of her + husband, insisted on investing the remaining hundred thousand francs of + her dowry in landed property, which returned only a slender income; but + her future inheritance from her father would amply repay all present + privations with perfect comfort and ease of life. When the worthy + auctioneer saw his son-in-law disappointed of the hopes they had placed on + the nameless protector, he tried, for the sake of his daughter, to repair + the secret loss by risking part of his fortune in a speculation which had + favourable chances of success. But the poor man became involved in one of + the liquidations of the house of Nucingen, and died of grief, leaving + nothing behind him but a dozen fine pictures which adorned his daughter’s + salon, and a few old-fashioned pieces of furniture, which she put in the + garret. + </p> + <p> + Eight years of fruitless expectation made Madame Rabourdin at last + understand that the paternal protector of her husband must have died, and + that his will, if it ever existed, was lost or destroyed. Two years before + her father’s death the place of chief of division, which became vacant, + was given, over her husband’s head, to a certain Monsieur de la + Billardiere, related to a deputy of the Right who was made minister in + 1823. It was enough to drive Rabourdin out of the service; but how could + he give up his salary of eight thousand francs and perquisites, when they + constituted three fourths of his income and his household was accustomed + to spend them? Besides, if he had patience for a few more years he would + then be entitled to a pension. What a fall was this for a woman whose high + expectations at the opening of her life were more or less warranted, and + one who was admitted on all sides to be a superior woman. + </p> + <p> + Madame Rabourdin had justified the expectations formed of Mademoiselle + Leprince; she possessed the elements of that apparent superiority which + pleases the world; her liberal education enabled her to speak to every one + in his or her own language; her talents were real; she showed an + independent and elevated mind; her conversation charmed as much by its + variety and ease as by the oddness and originality of her ideas. Such + qualities, useful and appropriate in a sovereign or an ambassadress, were + of little service to a household compelled to jog in the common round. + Those who have the gift of speaking well desire an audience; they like to + talk, even if they sometimes weary others. To satisfy the requirements of + her mind Madame Rabourdin took a weekly reception-day and went a great + deal into society to obtain the consideration her self-love was accustomed + to enjoy. Those who know Parisian life will readily understand how a woman + of her temperament suffered, and was martyrized at heart by the scantiness + of her pecuniary means. No matter what foolish declarations people make + about money, they one and all, if they live in Paris, must grovel before + accounts, do homage to figures, and kiss the forked hoof of the golden + calf. What a problem was hers! twelve thousand francs a year to defray the + costs of a household consisting of father, mother, two children, a + chambermaid and cook, living on the second floor of a house in the rue + Duphot, in an apartment costing two thousand francs a year. Deduct the + dress and the carriage of Madame before you estimate the gross expenses of + the family, for dress precedes everything; then see what remains for the + education of the children (a girl of eight and a boy of nine, whose + maintenance must cost at least two thousand francs besides) and you will + find that Madame Rabourdin could barely afford to give her husband thirty + francs a month. That is the position of half the husbands in Paris, under + penalty of being thought monsters. + </p> + <p> + Thus it was that this woman who believed herself destined to shine in the + world was condemned to use her mind and her faculties in a sordid + struggle, fighting hand to hand with an account-book. Already, terrible + sacrifice of pride! she had dismissed her man-servant, not long after the + death of her father. Most women grow weary of this daily struggle; they + complain but they usually end by giving up to fate and taking what comes + to them; Celestine’s ambition, far from lessening, only increased through + difficulties, and led her, when she found she could not conquer them, to + sweep them aside. To her mind this complicated tangle of the affairs of + life was a Gordian knot impossible to untie and which genius ought to cut. + Far from accepting the pettiness of middle-class existence, she was angry + at the delay which kept the great things of life from her grasp,—blaming + fate as deceptive. Celestine sincerely believed herself a superior woman. + Perhaps she was right; perhaps she would have been great under great + circumstances; perhaps she was not in her right place. Let us remember + there are as many varieties of woman as there are of man, all of which + society fashions to meet its needs. Now in the social order, as in + Nature’s order, there are more young shoots than there are trees, more + spawn than full-grown fish, and many great capacities (Athanase Granson, + for instance) which die withered for want of moisture, like seeds on stony + ground. There are, unquestionably, household women, accomplished women, + ornamental women, women who are exclusively wives, or mothers, or + sweethearts, women purely spiritual or purely material; just as there are + soldiers, artists, artisans, mathematicians, poets, merchants, men who + understand money, or agriculture, or government, and nothing else. Besides + all this, the eccentricity of events leads to endless cross-purposes; many + are called and few are chosen is the law of earth as of heaven. Madame + Rabourdin conceived herself fully capable of directing a statesman, + inspiring an artist, helping an inventor and pushing his interests, or of + devoting her powers to the financial politics of a Nucingen, and playing a + brilliant part in the great world. Perhaps she was only endeavouring to + excuse to her own mind a hatred for the laundry lists and the duty of + overlooking the housekeeping bills, together with the petty economies and + cares of a small establishment. She was superior only in those things + where it gave her pleasure to be so. Feeling as keenly as she did the + thorns of a position which can only be likened to that of Saint-Laurence + on his grid-iron, is it any wonder that she sometimes cried out? So, in + her paroxysms of thwarted ambition, in the moments when her wounded vanity + gave her terrible shooting pains, Celestine turned upon Xavier Rabourdin. + Was it not her husband’s duty to give her a suitable position in the + world? If she were a man she would have had the energy to make a rapid + fortune for the sake of rendering an adored wife happy! She reproached him + for being too honest a man. In the mouth of some women this accusation is + a charge of imbecility. She sketched out for him certain brilliant plans + in which she took no account of the hindrances imposed by men and things; + then, like all women under the influence of vehement feeling, she became + in thought as Machiavellian as Gondreville, and more unprincipled than + Maxime de Trailles. At such times Celestine’s mind took a wide range, and + she imagined herself at the summit of her ideas. + </p> + <p> + When these fine visions first began Rabourdin, who saw the practical side, + was cool. Celestine, much grieved, thought her husband narrow-minded, + timid, unsympathetic; and she acquired, insensibly, a wholly false opinion + of the companion of her life. In the first place, she often extinguished + him by the brilliancy of her arguments. Her ideas came to her in flashes, + and she sometimes stopped him short when he began an explanation, because + she did not choose to lose the slightest sparkle of her own mind. From the + earliest days of their marriage Celestine, feeling herself beloved and + admired by her husband, treated him without ceremony; she put herself + above conjugal laws and the rules of private courtesy by expecting love to + pardon all her little wrong-doings; and, as she never in any way corrected + herself, she was always in the ascendant. In such a situation the man + holds to the wife very much the position of a child to a teacher when the + latter cannot or will not recognize that the mind he has ruled in + childhood is becoming mature. Like Madame de Stael, who exclaimed in a + room full of people, addressing, as we may say, a greater man than + herself, “Do you know you have really said something very profound!” + Madame Rabourdin said of her husband: “He certainly has a good deal of + sense at times.” Her disparaging opinion of him gradually appeared in her + behavior through almost imperceptible motions. Her attitude and manners + expressed a want of respect. Without being aware of it she injured her + husband in the eyes of others; for in all countries society, before making + up its mind about a man, listens for what his wife thinks of him, and + obtains from her what the Genevese term “pre-advice.” + </p> + <p> + When Rabourdin became aware of the mistakes which love had led him to + commit it was too late,—the groove had been cut; he suffered and was + silent. Like other men in whom sentiments and ideas are of equal strength, + whose souls are noble and their brains well balanced, he was the defender + of his wife before the tribunal of his own judgment; he told himself that + nature doomed her to a disappointed life through his fault; HIS; she was + like a thoroughbred English horse, a racer harnessed to a cart full of + stones; she it was who suffered; and he blamed himself. His wife, by dint + of constant repetition, had inoculated him with her own belief in herself. + Ideas are contagious in a household; the ninth thermidor, like so many + other portentous events, was the result of female influence. Thus, goaded + by Celestine’s ambition, Rabourdin had long considered the means of + satisfying it, though he hid his hopes, so as to spare her the tortures of + uncertainty. The man was firmly resolved to make his way in the + administration by bringing a strong light to bear upon it. He intended to + bring about one of those revolutions which send a man to the head of + either one party or another in society; but being incapable of so doing in + his own interests, he merely pondered useful thoughts and dreamed of + triumphs won for his country by noble means. His ideas were both generous + and ambitious; few officials have not conceived the like; but among + officials as among artists there are more miscarriages than births; which + is tantamount to Buffon’s saying that “Genius is patience.” + </p> + <p> + Placed in a position where he could study French administration and + observe its mechanism, Rabourdin worked in the circle where his thought + revolved, which, we may remark parenthetically, is the secret of much + human accomplishment; and his labor culminated finally in the invention of + a new system for the Civil Service of government. Knowing the people with + whom he had to do, he maintained the machine as it then worked, so it + still works and will continue to work; for everybody fears to remodel it, + though no one, according to Rabourdin, ought to be unwilling to simplify + it. In his opinion, the problem to be resolved lay in a better use of the + same forces. His plan, in its simplest form, was to revise taxation and + lower it in a way that should not diminish the revenues of the State, and + to obtain, from a budget equal to the budgets which now excite such rabid + discussion, results that should be two-fold greater than the present + results. Long practical experience had taught Rabourdin that perfection is + brought about in all things by changes in the direction of simplicity. To + economize is to simplify. To simplify means to suppress unnecessary + machinery; removals naturally follow. His system, therefore, depended on + the weeding out of officials and the establishment of a new order of + administrative offices. No doubt the hatred which all reformers incur + takes its rise here. Removals required by this perfecting process, always + ill-understood, threaten the well-being of those on whom a change in their + condition is thus forced. What rendered Rabourdin really great was that he + was able to restrain the enthusiasm that possesses all reformers, and to + patiently seek out a slow evolving medium for all changes so as to avoid + shocks, leaving time and experience to prove the excellence of each + reform. The grandeur of the result anticipated might make us doubt its + possibility if we lose sight of this essential point in our rapid analysis + of his system. It is, therefore, not unimportant to show through his + self-communings, however incomplete they might be, the point of view from + which he looked at the administrative horizon. This tale, which is evolved + from the very heart of the Civil Service, may also serve to show some of + the evils of our present social customs. + </p> + <p> + Xavier Rabourdin, deeply impressed by the trials and poverty which he + witnessed in the lives of the government clerks, endeavored to ascertain + the cause of their growing deterioration. He found it in those petty + partial revolutions, the eddies, as it were, of the storm of 1789, which + the historians of great social movements neglect to inquire into, although + as a matter of fact it is they which have made our manners and customs + what they are now. + </p> + <p> + Formerly, under the monarchy, the bureaucratic armies did not exist. The + clerks, few in number, were under the orders of a prime minister who + communicated with the sovereign; thus they directly served the king. The + superiors of these zealous servants were simply called head-clerks. In + those branches of administration which the king did not himself direct, + such for instance as the “fermes” (the public domains throughout the + country on which a revenue was levied), the clerks were to their superior + what the clerks of a business-house are to their employer; they learned a + science which would one day advance them to prosperity. Thus, all points + of the circumference were fastened to the centre and derived their life + from it. The result was devotion and confidence. Since 1789 the State, + call it the Nation if you like, has replaced the sovereign. Instead of + looking directly to the chief magistrate of this nation, the clerks have + become, in spite of our fine patriotic ideas, the subsidiaries of the + government; their superiors are blown about by the winds of a power called + “the administration,” and do not know from day to day where they may be on + the morrow. As the routine of public business must go on, a certain number + of indispensable clerks are kept in their places, though they hold these + places on sufferance, anxious as they are to retain them. Bureaucracy, a + gigantic power set in motion by dwarfs, was generated in this way. Though + Napoleon, by subordinating all things and all men to his will, retarded + for a time the influence of bureaucracy (that ponderous curtain hung + between the service to be done and the man who orders it), it was + permanently organized under the constitutional government, which was, + inevitably, the friend of all mediocrities, the lover of authentic + documents and accounts, and as meddlesome as an old tradeswoman. Delighted + to see the various ministers constantly struggling against the four + hundred petty minds of the Elected of the Chamber, with their ten or a + dozen ambitious and dishonest leaders, the Civil Service officials + hastened to make themselves essential to the warfare by adding their quota + of assistance under the form of written action; they created a power of + inertia and named it “Report.” Let us explain the Report. + </p> + <p> + When the kings of France took to themselves ministers, which first + happened under Louis XV., they made them render reports on all important + questions, instead of holding, as formerly, grand councils of state with + the nobles. Under the constitutional government, the ministers of the + various departments were insensibly led by their bureaus to imitate this + practice of kings. Their time being taken up in defending themselves + before the two Chambers and the court, they let themselves be guided by + the leading-strings of the Report. Nothing important was ever brought + before the government that a minister did not say, even when the case was + urgent, “I have called for a report.” The Report thus became, both as to + the matter concerned and for the minister himself, the same as a report to + the Chamber of Deputies on a question of laws,—namely, a + disquisition in which the reasons for and against are stated with more or + less partiality. No real result is attained; the minister, like the + Chamber, is fully as well prepared before as after the report is rendered. + A determination, in whatever matter, is reached in an instant. Do what we + will, the moment comes when the decision must be made. The greater the + array of reasons for and against, the less sound will be the judgment. The + finest things of which France can boast have been accomplished without + reports and where decisions were prompt and spontaneous. The dominant law + of a statesman is to apply precise formula to all cases, after the manner + of judges and physicians. + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin, who said to himself: “A minister should have decision, should + know public affairs, and direct their course,” saw “Report” rampant + throughout France, from the colonel to the marshal, from the commissary of + police to the king, from the prefects to the ministers of state, from the + Chamber to the courts. After 1818 everything was discussed, compared, and + weighed, either in speech or writing; public business took a literary + form. France went to ruin in spite of this array of documents; + dissertations stood in place of action; a million of reports were written + every year; bureaucracy was enthroned! Records, statistics, documents, + failing which France would have been ruined, circumlocution, without which + there could be no advance, increased, multiplied, and grew majestic. From + that day forth bureaucracy used to its own profit the mistrust that stands + between receipts and expenditures; it degraded the administration for the + benefit of the administrators; in short, it spun those lilliputian threads + which have chained France to Parisian centralization,—as if from + 1500 to 1800 France had undertaken nothing for want of thirty thousand + government clerks! In fastening upon public offices, like a mistletoe on a + pear-tree, these officials indemnified themselves amply, and in the + following manner. + </p> + <p> + The ministers, compelled to obey the princes or the Chambers who impose + upon them the distribution of the public moneys, and forced to retain the + workers in office, proceeded to diminish salaries and increase the number + of those workers, thinking that if more persons were employed by + government the stronger the government would be. And yet the contrary law + is an axiom written on the universe; there is no vigor except where there + are few active principles. Events proved in July, 1830, the error of the + materialism of the Restoration. To plant a government in the hearts of a + nation it is necessary to bind INTERESTS to it, not MEN. The + government-clerks being led to detest the administrations which lessened + both their salaries and their importance, treated them as a courtesan + treats an aged lover, and gave them mere work for money; a state of things + which would have seemed as intolerable to the administration as to the + clerks, had the two parties dared to feel each other’s pulse, or had the + higher salaries not succeeded in stifling the voices of the lower. Thus + wholly and solely occupied in retaining his place, drawing his pay, and + securing his pension, the government official thought everything + permissible that conduced to these results. This state of things led to + servility on the part of the clerks and to endless intrigues within the + various departments, where the humbler clerks struggled vainly against + degenerate members of the aristocracy, who sought positions in the + government bureaus for their ruined sons. + </p> + <p> + Superior men could scarcely bring themselves to tread these tortuous ways, + to stoop, to cringe, and creep through the mire of these cloacas, where + the presence of a fine mind only alarmed the other denizens. The ambitious + man of genius grows old in obtaining his triple crown; he does not follow + in the steps of Sixtus the Fifth merely to become head of a bureau. No one + comes or stays in the government offices but idlers, incapables, or fools. + Thus the mediocrity of French administration has slowly come about. + Bureaucracy, made up entirely of petty minds, stands as an obstacle to the + prosperity of the nation; delays for seven years, by its machinery, the + project of a canal which would have stimulated the production of a + province; is afraid of everything, prolongs procrastination, and + perpetuates the abuses which in turn perpetuate and consolidate itself. + Bureaucracy holds all things and the administration itself in leading + strings; it stifles men of talent who are bold enough to be independent of + it or to enlighten it on its own follies. About the time of which we write + the pension list had just been issued, and on it Rabourdin saw the name of + an underling in office rated for a larger sum than the old colonels, + maimed and wounded for their country. In that fact lies the whole history + of bureaucracy. + </p> + <p> + Another evil, brought about by modern customs, which Rabourdin counted + among the causes of this secret demoralization, was the fact that there is + no real subordination in the administration in Paris; complete equality + reigns between the head of an important division and the humblest + copying-clerk; one is as powerful as the other in an arena outside of + which each lords it in his own way. Education, equally distributed through + the masses, brings the son of a porter into a government office to decide + the fate of some man of merit or some landed proprietor whose door-bell + his father may have answered. The last comer is therefore on equal terms + with the oldest veteran in the service. A wealthy supernumerary splashes + his superior as he drives his tilbury to Longchamps and points with his + whip to the poor father of a family, remarking to the pretty woman at his + side, “That’s my chief.” The Liberals call this state of things Progress; + Rabourdin thought it Anarchy at the heart of power. He saw how it resulted + in restless intrigues, like those of a harem between eunuchs and women and + imbecile sultans, or the petty troubles of nuns full of underhand + vexations, or college tyrannies, or diplomatic manoeuvrings fit to terrify + an ambassador, all put in motion to obtain a fee or an increase in salary; + it was like the hopping of fleas harnessed to pasteboard cars, the + spitefulness of slaves, often visited on the minister himself. With all + this were the really useful men, the workers, victims of such parasites; + men sincerely devoted to their country, who stood vigorously out from the + background of the other incapables, yet who were often forced to succumb + through unworthy trickery. + </p> + <p> + All the higher offices were gained through parliamentary influence, + royalty had nothing to do now with them, and the subordinate clerks + became, after a time, merely the running-gear of the machine; the most + important considerations with them being to keep the wheels well greased. + This fatal conviction entering some of the best minds smothered many + statements conscientiously written on the secret evils of the national + government; lowered the courage of many hearts, and corrupted sterling + honesty, weary of injustice and won to indifference by deteriorating + annoyances. A clerk in the employ of the Rothchilds corresponds with all + England; another, in a government office, may communicate with all the + prefects; but where the one learns the way to make his fortune, the other + loses time and health and life to no avail. An undermining evil lies here. + Certainly a nation does not seem threatened with immediate dissolution + because an able clerk is sent away and a middling sort of man replaces + him. Unfortunately for the welfare of nations individual men never seem + essential to their existence. But in the long run when the belittling + process is fully carried out nations will disappear. Every one who seeks + instruction on this point can look at Venice, Madrid, Amsterdam, + Stockholm, Rome; all places which were formerly resplendent with mighty + powers and are now destroyed by the infiltrating littleness which + gradually attained the highest eminence. When the day of struggle came, + all was found rotten, the State succumbed to a weak attack. To worship the + fool who succeeds, and not to grieve over the fall of an able man is the + result of our melancholy education, of our manners and customs which drive + men of intellect into disgust, and genius to despair. + </p> + <p> + What a difficult undertaking is the rehabilitation of the Civil Service + while the liberal cries aloud in his newspapers that the salaries of + clerks are a standing theft, calls the items of the budget a cluster of + leeches, and every year demands why the nation should be saddled with a + thousand millions of taxes. In Monsieur Rabourdin’s eyes the clerk in + relation to the budget was very much what the gambler is to the game; that + which he wins he puts back again. All remuneration implies something + furnished. To pay a man a thousand francs a year and demand his whole time + was surely to organize theft and poverty. A galley-slave costs nearly as + much, and does less. But to expect a man whom the State remunerated with + twelve thousand francs a year to devote himself to his country was a + profitable contract for both sides, fit to allure all capacities. + </p> + <p> + These reflections had led Rabourdin to desire the recasting of the + clerical official staff. To employ fewer man, to double or treble + salaries, and do away with pensions, to choose only young clerks (as did + Napoleon, Louis XIV., Richelieu, and Ximenes), but to keep them long and + train them for the higher offices and greatest honors, these were the + chief features of a reform which if carried out would be as beneficial to + the State as to the clerks themselves. It is difficult to recount in + detail, chapter by chapter, a plan which embraced the whole budget and + continued down through the minutest details of administration in order to + keep the whole synthetical; but perhaps a slight sketch of the principal + reforms will suffice for those who understand such matters, as well as for + those who are wholly ignorant of the administrative system. Though the + historian’s position is rather hazardous in reproducing a plan which may + be thought the politics of a chimney-corner, it is, nevertheless, + necessary to sketch it so as to explain the author of it by his own work. + Were the recital of his efforts to be omitted, the reader would not + believe the narrator’s word if he merely declared the talent and the + courage of this official. + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin’s plan divided the government into three ministries, or + departments. He thought that if the France of former days possessed brains + strong enough to comprehend in one system both foreign and domestic + affairs, the France of to-day was not likely to be without its Mazarin, + its Suger, its Sully, its de Choiseul, or its Colbert to direct even vast + administrative departments. Besides, constitutionally speaking, three + ministries will agree better than seven; and, in the restricted number + there is less chance for mistaken choice; moreover, it might be that the + kingdom would some day escape from those perpetual ministerial + oscillations which interfered with all plans of foreign policy and + prevented all ameliorations of home rule. In Austria, where many diverse + united nations present so many conflicting interests to be conciliated and + carried forward under one crown, two statesmen alone bear the burden of + public affairs and are not overwhelmed by it. Was France less prolific of + political capacities than Germany? The rather silly game of what are + called “constitutional institutions” carried beyond bounds has ended, as + everybody knows, in requiring a great many offices to satisfy the + multifarious ambition of the middle classes. It seemed to Rabourdin, in + the first place, natural to unite the ministry of war with the ministry of + the navy. To his thinking the navy was one of the current expenses of the + war department, like the artillery, cavalry, infantry, and commissariat. + Surely it was an absurdity to give separate administrations to admirals + and marshals when both were employed to one end, namely, the defense of + the nation, the overthrow of an enemy, and the security of the national + possessions. The ministry of the interior ought in like manner to combine + the departments of commerce, police, and finances, or it belied its own + name. To the ministry of foreign affairs belonged the administration of + justice, the household of the king, and all that concerned arts, sciences, + and belles lettres. All patronage ought to flow directly from the + sovereign. Such ministries necessitated the supremacy of a council. Each + required the work of two hundred officials, and no more, in its central + administration offices, where Rabourdin proposed that they should live, as + in former days under the monarchy. Taking the sum of twelve thousand + francs a year for each official as an average, he estimated seven millions + as the cost of the whole body of such officials, which actually stood at + twenty in the budget. + </p> + <p> + By thus reducing the ministers to three heads he suppressed departments + which had come to be useless, together with the enormous costs of their + maintenance in Paris. He proved that an arrondissement could be managed by + ten men; a prefecture by a dozen at the most; which reduced the entire + civil service force throughout France to five thousand men, exclusive of + the departments of war and justice. Under this plan the clerks of the + court were charged with the system of loans, and the ministry of the + interior with that of registration and the management of domains. Thus + Rabourdin united in one centre all divisions that were allied in nature. + The mortgage system, inheritance, and registration did not pass outside of + their own sphere of action and only required three additional clerks in + the justice courts and three in the royal courts. The steady application + of this principle brought Rabourdin to reforms in the finance system. He + merged the collection of revenue into one channel, taxing consumption in + bulk instead of taxing property. According to his ideas, consumption was + the sole thing properly taxable in times of peace. Land-taxes should + always be held in reserve in case of war; for then only could the State + justly demand sacrifices from the soil, which was in danger; but in times + of peace it was a serious political fault to burden it beyond a certain + limit; otherwise it could never be depended on in great emergencies. Thus + a loan should be put on the market when the country was tranquil, for at + such times it could be placed at par, instead of at fifty per cent loss as + in bad times; in war times resort should be had to a land-tax. + </p> + <p> + “The invasion of 1814 and 1815,” Rabourdin would say to his friends, + “founded in France and practically explained an institution which neither + Law nor Napoleon had been able to establish,—I mean Credit.” + </p> + <p> + Unfortunately, Xavier considered the true principles of this admirable + machine of civil service very little understood at the period when he + began his labor of reform in 1820. His scheme levied a toll on the + consumption by means of direct taxation and suppressed the whole machinery + of indirect taxation. The levying of the taxes was simplified by a single + classification of a great number of articles. This did away with the more + harassing customs at the gates of the cities, and obtained the largest + revenues from the remainder, by lessening the enormous expense of + collecting them. To lighten the burden of taxation is not, in matters of + finance, to diminish the taxes, but to assess them better; if lightened, + you increase the volume of business by giving it freer play; the + individual pays less and the State receives more. This reform, which may + seem immense, rests on very simple machinery. Rabourdin regarded the tax + on personal property as the most trustworthy representative of general + consumption. Individual fortunes are usually revealed in France by + rentals, by the number of servants, horses, carriages, and luxuries, the + costs of which are all to the interest of the public treasury. Houses and + what they contain vary comparatively but little, and are not liable to + disappear. After pointing out the means of making a tax-list on personal + property which should be more impartial than the existing list, Rabourdin + assessed the sums to be brought into the treasury by indirect taxation as + so much per cent on each individual share. A tax is a levy of money on + things or persons under disguises that are more or less specious. These + disguises, excellent when the object is to extort money, become ridiculous + in the present day, when the class on which the taxes weigh the heaviest + knows why the State imposes them and by what machinery they are given + back. In fact the budget is not a strong-box to hold what is put into it, + but a watering-pot; the more it takes in and the more it pours out the + better for the prosperity of the country. Therefore, supposing there are + six millions of tax-payers in easy circumstances (Rabourdin proved their + existence, including the rich) is it not better to make them pay a duty on + the consumption of wine, which would not be more offensive than that on + doors and windows and would return a hundred millions, rather than harass + them by taxing the thing itself. By this system of taxation, each + individual tax-payer pays less in reality, while the State receives more, + and consumers profit by a vast reduction in the price of things which the + State releases from its perpetual and harassing interference. Rabourdin’s + scheme retained a tax on the cultivation of vineyards, so as to protect + that industry from the too great abundance of its own products. Then, to + reach the consumption of the poorer tax-payers, the licences of retail + dealers were taxed according to the population of the neighborhoods in + which they lived. + </p> + <p> + In this way, the State would receive without cost or vexatious hindrances + an enormous revenue under three forms; namely, a duty on wine, on the + cultivation of vineyards, and on licenses, where now an irritating array + of taxes existed as a burden on itself and its officials. Taxation was + thus imposed upon the rich without overburdening the poor. To give another + example. Suppose a share assessed to each person of one or two francs for + the consumption of salt and you obtain ten or a dozen millions; the modern + “gabelle” disappears, the poor breathe freer, agriculture is relieved, the + State receives as much, and no tax-payer complains. All persons, whether + they belong to the industrial classes or to the capitalists, will see at + once the benefits of a tax so assessed when they discover how commerce + increases, and life is ameliorated in the country districts. In short, the + State will see from year to year the number of her well-to-do tax-payers + increasing. By doing away with the machinery of indirect taxation, which + is very costly (a State, as it were, within a State), both the public + finances and the individual tax-payer are greatly benefited, not to speak + of the saving in costs of collecting. + </p> + <p> + The whole subject is indeed less a question of finance than a question of + government. The State should possess nothing of its own, neither forests, + nor mines, nor public works. That it should be the owner of domains was, + in Rabourdin’s opinion, an administrative contradiction. The State cannot + turn its possessions to profit and it deprives itself of taxes; it thus + loses two forms of production. As to the manufactories of the government, + they are just as unreasonable in the sphere of industry. The State obtains + products at a higher cost than those of commerce, produces them more + slowly, and loses its tax upon the industry, the maintenance of which it, + in turn, reduces. Can it be thought a proper method of governing a country + to manufacture instead of promoting manufactures? to possess property + instead of creating more possessions and more diverse ones? In Rabourdin’s + system the State exacted no money security; he allowed only mortgage + securities; and for this reason: Either the State holds the security in + specie, and that embarrasses business and the movement of money; or it + invests it at a higher rate than the State itself pays, and that is a + contemptible robbery; or else it loses on the transaction, and that is + folly; moreover, if it is obliged at any time to dispose of a mass of + these securities it gives rises in certain cases to terrible bankruptcy. + </p> + <p> + The territorial tax did not entirely disappear in Rabourdin’s plan,—he + kept a minute portion of it as a point of departure in case of war; but + the productions of the soil were freed, and industry, finding raw material + at a low price, could compete with foreign nations without the deceptive + help of customs. The rich carried on the administration of the provinces + without compensation except that of receiving a peerage under certain + conditions. Magistrates, learned bodies, officers of the lower grades + found their services honorably rewarded; no man employed by the government + failed to obtain great consideration through the value and extent of his + labors and the excellence of his salary; every one was able to provide for + his own future and France was delivered from the cancer of pensions. As a + result Rabourdin’s scheme exhibited only seven hundred millions of + expenditures and twelve hundred millions of receipts. A saving of five + hundred millions annually had far more virtue than the accumulation of a + sinking fund whose dangers were plainly to be seen. In that fund the + State, according to Rabourdin, became a stockholder, just as it persisted + in being a land-holder and a manufacturer. To bring about these reforms + without too roughly jarring the existing state of things or incurring a + Saint-Bartholomew of clerks, Rabourdin considered that an evolution of + twenty years would be required. + </p> + <p> + Such were the thoughts maturing in Rabourdin’s mind ever since his + promised place had been given to Monsieur de la Billardiere, a man of + sheer incapacity. This plan, so vast apparently yet so simple in point of + fact, which did away with so many large staffs and so many little offices + all equally useless, required for its presentation to the public mind + close calculations, precise statistics, and self-evident proof. Rabourdin + had long studied the budget under its double-aspect of ways and means and + of expenditure. Many a night he had lain awake unknown to his wife. But so + far he had only dared to conceive the plan and fit it prospectively to the + administrative skeleton; all of which counted for nothing,—he must + gain the ear of a minister capable of appreciating his ideas. Rabourdin’s + success depended on the tranquil condition of political affairs, which up + to this time were still unsettled. He had not considered the government as + permanently secure until three hundred deputies at least had the courage + to form a compact majority systematically ministerial. An administration + founded on that basis had come into power since Rabourdin had finished his + elaborate plan. At this time the luxury of peace under the Bourbons had + eclipsed the warlike luxury of the days when France shone like a vast + encampment, prodigal and magnificent because it was victorious. After the + Spanish campaign, the administration seemed to enter upon an era of + tranquillity in which some good might be accomplished; and three months + before the opening of our story a new reign had begun without any apparent + opposition; for the liberalism of the Left had welcomed Charles X. with as + much enthusiasm as the Right. Even clear-sighted and suspicious persons + were misled. The moment seemed propitious for Rabourdin. What could better + conduce to the stability of the government than to propose and carry + through a reform whose beneficial results were to be so vast? + </p> + <p> + Never had Rabourdin seemed so anxious and preoccupied as he now did in the + mornings as he walked from his house to the ministry, or at half-past four + in the afternoon, when he returned. Madame Rabourdin, on her part, + disconsolate over her wasted life, weary of secretly working to obtain a + few luxuries of dress, never appeared so bitterly discontented as now; + but, like any wife who is really attached to her husband, she considered + it unworthy of a superior woman to condescend to the shameful devices by + which the wives of some officials eke out the insufficiency of their + husband’s salary. This feeling made her refuse all intercourse with Madame + Colleville, then very intimate with Francois Keller, whose parties + eclipsed those of the rue Duphot. Nevertheless, she mistook the quietude + of the political thinker and the preoccupation of the intrepid worker for + the apathetic torpor of an official broken down by the dulness of routine, + vanquished by that most hateful of all miseries, the mediocrity that + simply earns a living; and she groaned at being married to a man without + energy. + </p> + <p> + Thus it was that about this period in their lives she resolved to take the + making of her husband’s fortune on herself; to thrust him at any cost into + a higher sphere, and to hide from him the secret springs of her + machinations. She carried into all her plans the independence of ideas + which characterized her, and was proud to think that she could rise above + other women by sharing none of their petty prejudices and by keeping + herself untrammelled by the restraints which society imposes. In her anger + she resolved to fight fools with their own weapons, and to make herself a + fool if need be. She saw things coming to a crisis. The time was + favorable. Monsieur de la Billardiere, attacked by a dangerous illness, + was likely to die in a few days. If Rabourdin succeeded him, his talents + (for Celestine did vouchsafe him an administrative gift) would be so + thoroughly appreciated that the office of Master of petitions, formerly + promised, would now be given to him; she fancied she saw him the king’s + commissioner, presenting bills to the Chambers and defending them; then + indeed she could help him; she would even be, if needful, his secretary; + she would sit up all night to do the work! All this to drive in the Bois + in a pretty carriage, to equal Madame Delphine de Nucingen, to raise her + salon to the level of Madame Colleville’s, to be invited to the great + ministerial solemnities, to win listeners and make them talk of her as + “Madame Rabourdin DE something or other” (she had not yet determined on + the estate), just as they did of Madame Firmiani, Madame d’Espard, Madame + d’Aiglemont, Madame de Carigliano, and thus efface forever the odious name + of Rabourdin. + </p> + <p> + These secret schemes brought some changes into the household. Madame + Rabourdin began to walk with a firm step in the path of /debt/. She set up + a man-servant, and put him in livery of brown cloth with red pipins, she + renewed parts of her furniture, hung new papers on the walls, adorned her + salon with plants and flowers, always fresh, and crowded it with + knick-knacks that were then in vogue; then she, who had always shown + scruples as to her personal expenses, did not hesitate to put her dress in + keeping with the rank to which she aspired, the profits of which were + discounted in several of the shops where she equipped herself for war. To + make her “Wednesdays” fashionable she gave a dinner on Fridays, the guests + being expected to pay their return visit and take a cup of tea on the + following Wednesday. She chose her guests cleverly among influential + deputies or other persons of note who, sooner or later, might advance her + interests. In short, she gathered an agreeable and befitting circle about + her. People amused themselves at her house; they said so at least, which + is quite enough to attract society in Paris. Rabourdin was so absorbed in + completing his great and serious work that he took no notice of the sudden + reappearance of luxury in the bosom of his family. + </p> + <p> + Thus the wife and the husband were besieging the same fortress, working on + parallel lines, but without each other’s knowledge. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0002" id="link2HCH0002"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER II. MONSIEUR DES LUPEAULX + </h2> + <p> + At the ministry to which Rabourdin belonged there flourished, as + general-secretary, a certain Monsieur Clement Chardin des Lupeaulx, one of + those men whom the tide of political events sends to the surface for a few + years, then engulfs on a stormy night, but whom we find again on a distant + shore, tossed up like the carcass of a wrecked ship which still seems to + have life in her. We ask ourselves if that derelict could ever have held + goodly merchandise or served a high emprise, co-operated in some defence, + held up the trappings of a throne, or borne away the corpse of a monarchy. + At this particular time Clement des Lupeaulx (the “Lupeaulx” absorbed the + “Chardin”) had reached his culminating period. In the most illustrious + lives as in the most obscure, in animals as in secretary-generals, there + is a zenith and there is a nadir, a period when the fur is magnificent, + the fortune dazzling. In the nomenclature which we derive from fabulists, + des Lupeaulx belonged to the species Bertrand, and was always in search of + Ratons. As he is one of the principal actors in this drama he deserves a + description, all the more precise because the revolution of July has + suppressed his office, eminently useful as it was, to a constitutional + ministry. + </p> + <p> + Moralists usually employ their weapons against obstructive + administrations. In their eyes, crime belongs to the assizes or the + police-courts; but the socially refined evils escape their ken; the + adroitness that triumphs under shield of the Code is above them or beneath + them; they have neither eye-glass nor telescope; they want good stout + horrors easily visible. With their eyes fixed on the carnivora, they pay + no attention to the reptiles; happily, they abandon to the writers of + comedy the shading and colorings of a Chardin des Lupeaulx. Vain and + egotistical, supple and proud, libertine and gourmand, grasping from the + pressure of debt, discreet as a tomb out of which nought issues to + contradict the epitaph intended for the passer’s eye, bold and fearless + when soliciting, good-natured and witty in all acceptations of the word, a + timely jester, full of tact, knowing how to compromise others by a glance + or a nudge, shrinking from no mudhole, but gracefully leaping it, intrepid + Voltairean, yet punctual at mass if a fashionable company could be met in + Saint Thomas Aquinas,—such a man as this secretary-general + resembled, in one way or another, all the mediocrities who form the kernel + of the political world. Knowing in the science of human nature, he assumed + the character of a listener, and none was ever more attentive. Not to + awaken suspicion he was flattering ad nauseum, insinuating as a perfume, + and cajoling as a woman. + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx was just forty years old. His youth had long been a vexation + to him, for he felt that the making of his career depended on his becoming + a deputy. How had he reached his present position? may be asked. By very + simple means. He began by taking charge of certain delicate missions which + can be given neither to a man who respects himself nor to a man who does + not respect himself, but are confided to grave and enigmatic individuals + who can be acknowledged or disavowed at will. His business was that of + being always compromised; but his fortunes were pushed as much by defeat + as by success. He well understood that under the Restoration, a period of + continual compromises between men, between things, between accomplished + facts and other facts looking on the horizon, it was all-important for the + ruling powers to have a household drudge. Observe in a family some old + charwoman who can make beds, sweep the floors, carry away the dirty linen, + who knows where the silver is kept, how the creditors should be pacified, + what persons should be let in and who must be kept out of the house, and + such a creature, even if she has all the vices, and is dirty, decrepit, + and toothless, or puts into the lottery and steals thirty sous a day for + her stake, and you will find the masters like her from habit, talk and + consult in her hearing upon even critical matters; she comes and goes, + suggests resources, gets on the scent of secrets, brings the rouge or the + shawl at the right moment, lets herself be scolded and pushed downstairs, + and the next morning reappears smiling with an excellent bouillon. No + matter how high a statesman may stand, he is certain to have some + household drudge, before whom he is weak, undecided, disputations with + fate, self-questioning, self-answering, and buckling for the fight. Such a + familiar is like the soft wood of savages, which, when rubbed against the + hard wood, strikes fire. Sometimes great geniuses illumine themselves in + this way. Napoleon lived with Berthier, Richelieu with Pere Joseph; des + Lupeaulx was the familiar of everybody. He continued friends with fallen + ministers and made himself their intermediary with their successors, + diffusing thus the perfume of the last flattery and the first compliment. + He well understood how to arrange all the little matters which a statesman + has no leisure to attend to. He saw necessities as they arose; he obeyed + well; he could gloss a base act with a jest and get the whole value of it; + and he chose for the services he thus rendered those that the recipients + were not likely to forget. + </p> + <p> + Thus, when it was necessary to cross the ditch between the Empire and the + Restoration, at a time when every one was looking about for planks, and + the curs of the Empire were howling their devotion right and left, des + Lupeaulx borrowed large sums from the usurers and crossed the frontier. + Risking all to win all, he bought up Louis XVIII.‘s most pressing debts, + and was the first to settle nearly three million of them at twenty per + cent—for he was lucky enough to be backed by Gobseck in 1814 and + 1815. It is true that Messrs. Gobseck, Werdet, and Gigonnet swallowed the + profits, but des Lupeaulx had agreed that they should have them; he was + not playing for a stake; he challenged the bank, as it were, knowing very + well that the king was not a man to forget this debt of honor. Des + Lupeaulx was not mistaken; he was appointed Master of petitions, Knight of + the order of Saint Louis, and officer of the Legion of honor. Once on the + ladder of political success, his clever mind looked about for the means to + maintain his foothold; for in the fortified city into which he had wormed + himself, generals do not long keep useless mouths. So to his general trade + of household drudge and go-between he added that of gratuitous + consultation on the secret maladies of power. + </p> + <p> + After discovering in the so-called superior men of the Restoration their + utter inferiority in comparison with the events which had brought them to + the front, he overcame their political mediocrity by putting into their + mouths, at a crisis, the word of command for which men of real talent were + listening. It must not be thought that this word was the outcome of his + own mind. Were it so, des Lupeaulx would have been a man of genius, + whereas he was only a man of talent. He went everywhere, collected + opinions, sounded consciences, and caught all the tones they gave out. He + gathered knowledge like a true and indefatigable political bee. This + walking Bayle dictionary did not act, however, like that famous lexicon; + he did not report all opinions without drawing his own conclusions; he had + the talent of a fly which drops plumb upon the best bit of meat in the + middle of a kitchen. In this way he came to be regarded as an + indispensable helper to statesmen. A belief in his capacity had taken such + deep root in all minds that the more ambitious public men felt it was + necessary to compromise des Lupeaulx in some way to prevent his rising + higher; they made up to him for his subordinate public position by their + secret confidence. + </p> + <p> + Nevertheless, feeling that such men were dependent on him, this gleaner of + ideas exacted certain dues. He received a salary on the staff of the + National Guard, where he held a sinecure which was paid for by the city of + Paris; he was government commissioner to a secret society; and filled a + position of superintendence in the royal household. His two official posts + which appeared on the budget were those of secretary-general to his + ministry and Master of petitions. What he now wanted was to be made + commander of the Legion of honor, gentleman of the bed-chamber, count, and + deputy. To be elected deputy it was necessary to pay taxes to the amount + of a thousand francs; and the miserable homestead of the des Lupeaulx was + rated at only five hundred. Where could he get money to build a mansion + and surround it with sufficient domain to throw dust in the eyes of a + constituency? Though he dined out every day, and was lodged for the last + nine years at the cost of the State, and driven about in the minister’s + equipage, des Lupeaulx possessed absolutely nothing, at the time when our + tale opens, but thirty thousand francs of debt—undisputed property. + A marriage might float him and pump the waters of debt out of his bark; + but a good marriage depended on his advancement, and his advancement + required that he should be a deputy. Searching about him for the means of + breaking through this vicious circle, he could think of nothing better + than some immense service to render or some delicate intrigue to carry + through for persons in power. Alas! conspiracies were out of date; the + Bourbons were apparently on good terms with all parties; and, + unfortunately, for the last few years the government had been so + thoroughly held up to the light of day by the silly discussions of the + Left, whose aim seemed to be to make government of any kind impossible in + France, that no good strokes of business could be made. The last were + tried in Spain, and what an outcry that excited! + </p> + <p> + In addition to all this, des Lupeaulx complicated matters by believing in + the friendship of his minister, to whom he had the imprudence to express + the wish to sit on the ministerial benches. The minister guessed at the + real meaning of the desire, which simply was that des Lupeaulx wanted to + strengthen a precarious position, so that he might throw off all + dependence on his chief. The harrier turned against the huntsman; the + minister gave him cuts with the whip and caresses, alternately, and set up + rivals to him. But des Lupeaulx behaved like an adroit courtier with all + competitors; he laid traps into which they fell, and then he did prompt + justice upon them. The more he felt himself in danger the more anxious he + became for an irremovable position; yet he was compelled to play low; one + moment’s indiscretion, and he might lose everything. A pen-stroke might + demolish his civilian epaulets, his place at court, his sinecure, his two + offices and their advantages; in all, six salaries retained under fire of + the law against pluralists. Sometimes he threatened his minister as a + mistress threatens her lover; telling him he was about to marry a rich + widow. At such times the minister petted and cajoled des Lupeaulx. After + one of these reconciliations he received the formal promise of a place in + the Academy of Belles-lettres on the first vacancy. “It would pay,” he + said, “the keep of a horse.” His position, so far as it went, was a good + one, and Clement Chardin des Lupeaulx flourished in it like a tree planted + in good soil. He could satisfy his vices, his caprices, his virtues and + his defects. + </p> + <p> + The following were the toils of his life. He was obliged to choose, among + five or six daily invitations, the house where he could be sure of the + best dinner. Every morning he went to his minister’s morning reception to + amuse that official and his wife, and to pet their children. Then he + worked an hour or two; that is to say, he lay back in a comfortable chair + and read the newspapers, dictated the meaning of a letter, received + visitors when the minister was not present, explained the work in a + general way, caught or shed a few drops of the holy-water of the court, + looked over the petitions with an eyeglass, or wrote his name on the + margin,—a signature which meant “I think it absurd; do what you like + about it.” Every body knew that when des Lupeaulx was interested in any + person or in any thing he attended to the matter personally. He allowed + the head-clerks to converse privately about affairs of delicacy, but he + listened to their gossip. From time to time he went to the Tuileries to + get his cue. And he always waited for the minister’s return from the + Chamber, if in session, to hear from him what intrigue or manoeuvre he was + to set about. This official sybarite dressed, dined, and visited a dozen + or fifteen salons between eight at night and three in the morning. At the + opera he talked with journalists, for he stood high in their favor; a + perpetual exchange of little services went on between them; he poured into + their ears his misleading news and swallowed theirs; he prevented them + from attacking this or that minister on such or such a matter, on the plea + that it would cause real pain to their wives or their mistresses. + </p> + <p> + “Say that his bill is worth nothing, and prove it if you can, but do not + say that Mariette danced badly. The devil! haven’t we all played our + little plays; and which of us knows what will become of him in times like + these? You may be minister yourself to-morrow, you who are spicing the + cakes of the ‘Constitutionel’ to-day.” + </p> + <p> + Sometimes, in return, he helped editors, or got rid of obstacles to the + performances of some play; gave gratuities and good dinners at the right + moment, or promised his services to bring some affair to a happy + conclusion. Moreover, he really liked literature and the arts; he + collected autographs, obtained splendid albums gratis, and possessed + sketches, engravings, and pictures. He did a great deal of good to artists + by simply not injuring them and by furthering their wishes on certain + occasions when their self-love wanted some rather costly gratification. + Consequently, he was much liked in the world of actors and actresses, + journalists and artists. For one thing, they had the same vices and the + same indolence as himself. Men who could all say such witty things in + their cups or in company with a danseuse, how could they help being + friends? If des Lupeaulx had not been a general-secretary he would + certainly have been a journalist. Thus, in that fifteen years’ struggle in + which the harlequin sabre of epigram opened a breach by which insurrection + entered the citadel, des Lupeaulx never received so much as a scratch. + </p> + <p> + As the young fry of clerks looked at this man playing bowls in the gardens + of the ministry with the minister’s children, they cracked their brains to + guess the secret of his influence and the nature of his services; while, + on the other hand, the aristocrats in all the various ministries looked + upon him as a dangerous Mephistopheles, courted him, and gave him back + with usury the flatteries he bestowed in the higher sphere. As difficult + to decipher as a hieroglyphic inscription to the clerks, the vocation of + the secretary and his usefulness were as plain as the rule of three to the + self-interested. This lesser Prince de Wagram of the administration, to + whom the duty of gathering opinions and ideas and making verbal reports + thereon was entrusted, knew all the secrets of parliamentary politics; + dragged in the lukewarm, fetched, carried, and buried propositions, said + the Yes and the No that the ministers dared not say for themselves. + Compelled to receive the first fire and the first blows of despair and + wrath, he laughed or bemoaned himself with the minister, as the case might + be. Mysterious link by which many interests were in some way connected + with the Tuileries, and safe as a confessor, he sometimes knew everything + and sometimes nothing; and, in addition to all these functions came that + of saying for the minister those things that a minister cannot say for + himself. In short, with his political Hephaestion the minister might dare + to be himself; to take off his wig and his false teeth, lay aside his + scruples, put on his slippers, unbutton his conscience, and give way to + his trickery. However, it was not all a bed of roses for des Lupeaulx; he + flattered and advised his master, forced to flatter in order to advise, to + advise while flattering, and disguise the advice under the flattery. All + politicians who follow this trade have bilious faces; and their constant + habit of giving affirmative nods acquiescing in what is said to them, or + seeming to do so, gives a certain peculiar turn to their heads. They agree + indifferently with whatever is said before them. Their talk is full of + “buts,” “notwithstandings,” “for myself I should,” “were I in your place” + (they often say “in your place”),—phrases, however, which pave the + way to opposition. + </p> + <p> + In person, Clement des Lupeaulx had the remains of a handsome man; five + feet six inches tall, tolerably stout, complexion flushed with good + living, powdered head, delicate spectacles, and a worn-out air; the + natural skin blond, as shown by the hand, puffy like that of an old woman, + rather too square, and with short nails—the hand of a satrap. His + foot was elegant. After five o’clock in the afternoon des Lupeaulx was + always to be seen in open-worked silk stockings, low shoes, black + trousers, cashmere waistcoat, cambric handkerchief (without perfume), gold + chain, blue coat of the shade called “king’s blue,” with brass buttons and + a string of orders. In the morning he wore creaking boots and gray + trousers, and the short close surtout coat of the politician. His general + appearance early in the day was that of a sharp lawyer rather than that of + a ministerial officer. Eyes glazed by the constant use of spectacles made + him plainer than he really was, if by chance he took those appendages off. + To real judges of character, as well as to upright men who are at ease + only with honest natures, des Lupeaulx was intolerable. To them, his + gracious manners only draped his lies; his amiable protestations and + hackneyed courtesies, new to the foolish and ignorant, too plainly showed + their texture to an observing mind. Such minds considered him a rotten + plank, on which no foot should trust itself. + </p> + <p> + No sooner had the beautiful Madame Rabourdin decided to interfere in her + husband’s administrative advancement than she fathomed Clement des + Lupeaulx’s true character, and studied him thoughtfully to discover + whether in this thin strip of deal there were ligneous fibres strong + enough to let her lightly trip across it from the bureau to the + department, from a salary of eight thousand a year to twelve thousand. The + clever woman believed she could play her own game with this political + roue; and Monsieur des Lupeaulx was partly the cause of the unusual + expenditures which now began and were continued in the Rabourdin + household. + </p> + <p> + The rue Duphot, built up under the Empire, is remarkable for several + houses with handsome exteriors, the apartments of which are skilfully laid + out. That of the Rabourdins was particularly well arranged,—a + domestic advantage which has much to do with the nobleness of private + lives. A pretty and rather wide antechamber, lighted from the courtyard, + led to the grand salon, the windows of which looked on the street. To the + right of the salon were Rabourdin’s study and bedroom, and behind them the + dining-room, which was entered from the antechamber; to the left was + Madame’s bedroom and dressing-room, and behind them her daughter’s little + bedroom. On reception days the door of Rabourdin’s study and that of his + wife’s bedroom were thrown open. The rooms were thus spacious enough to + contain a select company, without the absurdity which attends many + middle-class entertainments, where unusual preparations are made at the + expense of the daily comfort, and consequently give the effect of + exceptional effort. The salon had lately been rehung in gold-colored silk + with carmelite touches. Madame’s bedroom was draped in a fabric of true + blue and furnished in a rococo manner. Rabourdin’s study had inherited the + late hangings of the salon, carefully cleaned, and was adorned by the fine + pictures once belonging to Monsieur Leprince. The daughter of the late + auctioneer had utilized in her dining-room certain exquisite Turkish rugs + which her father had bought at a bargain; panelling them on the walls in + ebony, the cost of which has since become exorbitant. Elegant buffets made + by Boulle, also purchased by the auctioneer, furnished the sides of the + room, at the end of which sparkled the brass arabesques inlaid in + tortoise-shell of the first tall clock that reappeared in the nineteenth + century to claim honor for the masterpieces of the seventeenth. Flowers + perfumed these rooms so full of good taste and of exquisite things, where + each detail was a work of art well placed and well surrounded, and where + Madame Rabourdin, dressed with that natural simplicity which artists alone + attain, gave the impression of a woman accustomed to such elegancies, + though she never spoke of them, but allowed the charms of her mind to + complete the effect produced upon her guests by these delightful + surroundings. Thanks to her father, Celestine was able to make society + talk of her as soon as the rococo became fashionable. + </p> + <p> + Accustomed as des Lupeaulx was to false as well as real magnificence in + all their stages, he was, nevertheless, surprised at Madame Rabourdin’s + home. The charm it exercised over this Parisian Asmodeus can be explained + by a comparison. A traveller wearied with the rich aspects of Italy, + Brazil, or India, returns to his own land and finds on his way a + delightful little lake, like the Lac d’Orta at the foot of Monte Rosa, + with an island resting on the calm waters, bewitchingly simple; a scene of + nature and yet adorned; solitary, but well surrounded with choice + plantations and foliage and statues of fine effect. Beyond lies a vista of + shores both wild and cultivated; tumultuous grandeur towers above, but in + itself all proportions are human. The world that the traveller has lately + viewed is here in miniature, modest and pure; his soul, refreshed, bids + him remain where a charm of melody and poesy surrounds him with harmony + and awakens ideas within his mind. Such a scene represents both life and a + monastery. + </p> + <p> + A few days earlier the beautiful Madame Firmiani, one of the charming + women of the faubourg Saint-Germain who visited and liked Madame + Rabourdin, had said to des Lupeaulx (invited expressly to hear this + remark), “Why do you not call on Madame ——?” with a motion + towards Celestine; “she gives delightful parties, and her dinners, above + all, are—better than mine.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx allowed himself to be drawn into an engagement by the + handsome Madame Rabourdin, who, for the first time, turned her eyes on him + as she spoke. He had, accordingly, gone to the rue Duphot, and that tells + the tale. Woman has but one trick, cries Figaro, but that’s infallible. + After dining once at the house of this unimportant official, des Lupeaulx + made up his mind to dine there often. Thanks to the perfectly proper and + becoming advances of the beautiful woman, whom her rival, Madame + Colleville, called the Celimene of the rue Duphot, he had dined there + every Friday for the last month, and returned of his own accord for a cup + of tea on Wednesdays. + </p> + <p> + Within a few days Madame Rabourdin, having watched him narrowly and + knowingly, believed she had found on the secretarial plank a spot where + she might safely set her foot. She was no longer doubtful of success. Her + inward joy can be realized only in the families of government officials + where for three or four years prosperity has been counted on through some + appointment, long expected and long sought. How many troubles are to be + allayed! how many entreaties and pledges given to the ministerial + divinities! how many visits of self-interest paid! At last, thanks to her + boldness, Madame Rabourdin heard the hour strike when she was to have + twenty thousand francs a year instead of eight thousand. + </p> + <p> + “And I shall have managed well,” she said to herself. “I have had to make + a little outlay; but these are times when hidden merit is overlooked, + whereas if a man keeps himself well in sight before the world, cultivates + social relations and extends them, he succeeds. After all, ministers and + their friends interest themselves only in the people they see; but + Rabourdin knows nothing of the world! If I had not cajoled those three + deputies they might have wanted La Billardiere’s place themselves; + whereas, now that I have invited them here, they will be ashamed to do so + and will become our supporters instead of rivals. I have rather played the + coquette, but—it is delightful that the first nonsense with which + one fools a man sufficed.” + </p> + <p> + The day on which a serious and unlooked-for struggle about this + appointment began, after a ministerial dinner which preceded one of those + receptions which ministers regard as public, des Lupeaulx was standing + beside the fireplace near the minister’s wife. While taking his coffee he + once more included Madame Rabourdin among the seven or eight really + superior women in Paris. Several times already he had staked Madame + Rabourdin very much as Corporal Trim staked his cap. + </p> + <p> + “Don’t say that too often, my dear friend, or you will injure her,” said + the minister’s wife, half-laughing. + </p> + <p> + Women never like to hear the praise of other women; they keep silence + themselves to lessen its effect. + </p> + <p> + “Poor La Billardiere is dying,” remarked his Excellency the minister; + “that place falls to Rabourdin, one of our most able men, and to whom our + predecessors did not behave well, though one of them actually owed his + position in the prefecture of police under the Empire to a certain great + personage who was interested in Rabourdin. But, my dear friend, you are + still young enough to be loved by a pretty woman for yourself—” + </p> + <p> + “If La Billardiere’s place is given to Rabourdin I may be believed when I + praise the superiority of his wife,” replied des Lupeaulx, piqued by the + minister’s sarcasm; “but if Madame la Comtesse would be willing to judge + for herself—” + </p> + <p> + “You want me to invite her to my next ball, don’t you? Your clever woman + will meet a knot of other women who only come here to laugh at us, and + when they hear ‘Madame Rabourdin’ announced—” + </p> + <p> + “But Madame Firmiani is announced at the Foreign Office parties?” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, but she was born a Cadignan!” said the newly created count, with a + savage look at his general-secretary, for neither he nor his wife were + noble. + </p> + <p> + The persons present thought important matters were being talked over, and + the solicitors for favors and appointments kept at a little distance. When + des Lupeaulx left the room the countess said to her husband, “I think des + Lupeaulx is in love.” + </p> + <p> + “For the first time in his life, then,” he replied, shrugging his + shoulders, as much as to inform his wife that des Lupeaulx did not concern + himself with such nonsense. + </p> + <p> + Just then the minister saw a deputy of the Right Centre enter the room, + and he left his wife abruptly to cajole an undecided vote. But the deputy, + under the blow of a sudden and unexpected disaster, wanted to make sure of + a protector and he had come to announce privately that in a few days he + should be compelled to resign. Thus forewarned, the minister would be able + to open his batteries for the new election before those of the opposition. + </p> + <p> + The minister, or to speak correctly, des Lupeaulx had invited to dinner on + this occasion one of those irremovable officials who, as we have said, are + to be found in every ministry; an individual much embarrassed by his own + person, who, in his desire to maintain a dignified appearance, was + standing erect and rigid on his two legs, held well together like the + Greek hermae. This functionary waited near the fireplace to thank the + secretary, whose abrupt and unexpected departure from the room + disconcerted him at the moment when he was about to turn a compliment. + This official was the cashier of the ministry, the only clerk who did not + tremble when the government changed hands. + </p> + <p> + At the time of which we write, the Chamber did not meddle shabbily with + the budget, as it does in the deplorable days in which we now live; it did + not contemptibly reduce ministerial emoluments, nor save, as they say in + the kitchen, the candle-ends; on the contrary, it granted to each minister + taking charge of a public department an indemnity, called an “outfit.” It + costs, alas, as much to enter on the duties of a minister as to retire + from them; indeed, the entrance involves expenses of all kinds which it is + quite impossible to inventory. This indemnity amounted to the pretty + little sum of twenty-five thousand francs. When the appointment of a new + minister was gazetted in the “Moniteur,” and the greater or lesser + officials, clustering round the stoves or before the fireplaces and + shaking in their shoes, asked themselves: “What will he do? will he + increase the number of clerks? will he dismiss two to make room for + three?” the cashier tranquilly took out twenty-five clean bank-bills and + pinned them together with a satisfied expression on his beadle face. The + next day he mounted the private staircase and had himself ushered into the + minister’s presence by the lackeys, who considered the money and the + keeper of money, the contents and the container, the idea and the form, as + one and the same power. The cashier caught the ministerial pair at the + dawn of official delight, when the newly appointed statesman is benign and + affable. To the minister’s inquiry as to what brings him there, he replies + with the bank-notes,—informing his Excellency that he hastens to pay + him the customary indemnity. Moreover, he explains the matter to the + minister’s wife, who never fails to draw freely upon the fund, and + sometimes takes all, for the “outfit” is looked upon as a household + affair. The cashier then proceeds to turn a compliment, and to slip in a + few politic phrases: “If his Excellency would deign to retain him; if, + satisfied with his purely mechanical services, he would,” etc. As a man + who brings twenty-five thousand francs is always a worthy official, the + cashier is sure not to leave without his confirmation to the post from + which he has seen a succession of ministers come and go during a period + of, perhaps, twenty-five years. His next step is to place himself at the + orders of Madame; he brings the monthly thirteen thousand francs whenever + wanted; he advances or delays the payment as requested, and thus manages + to obtain, as they said in the monasteries, a voice in the chapter. + </p> + <p> + Formerly book-keeper at the Treasury, when that establishment kept its + books by double entry, the Sieur Saillard was compensated for the loss of + that position by his appointment as cashier of a ministry. He was a bulky, + fat man, very strong in the matter of book-keeping, and very weak in + everything else; round as a round O, simple as how-do-you-do,—a man + who came to his office with measured steps, like those of an elephant, and + returned with the same measured tread to the place Royale, where he lived + on the ground-floor of an old mansion belonging to him. He usually had a + companion on the way in the person of Monsieur Isidore Baudoyer, head of a + bureau in Monsieur de la Billardiere’s division, consequently one of + Rabourdin’s colleagues. Baudoyer was married to Elisabeth Saillard, the + cashier’s only daughter, and had hired, very naturally, the apartments + above those of his father-in-law. No one at the ministry had the slightest + doubt that Saillard was a blockhead, but neither had any one ever found + out how far his stupidity could go; it was too compact to be examined; it + did not ring hollow; it absorbed everything and gave nothing out. Bixiou + (a clerk of whom more anon) caricatured the cashier by drawing a head in a + wig at the top of an egg, and two little legs at the other end, with this + inscription: “Born to pay out and take in without blundering. A little + less luck, and he might have been lackey to the bank of France; a little + more ambition, and he could have been honorably discharged.” + </p> + <p> + At the moment of which we are now writing, the minister was looking at his + cashier very much as we gaze at a window or a cornice, without supposing + that either can hear us, or fathom our secret thoughts. + </p> + <p> + “I am all the more anxious that we should settle everything with the + prefect in the quietest way, because des Lupeaulx has designs upon the + place for himself,” said the minister, continuing his talk with the + deputy; “his paltry little estate is in your arrondissement; we won’t want + him as deputy.” + </p> + <p> + “He has neither years nor rentals enough to be eligible,” said the deputy. + </p> + <p> + “That may be; but you know how it was decided for Casimir Perier as to + age; and as to worldly possessions, des Lupeaulx does possess something,—not + much, it is true, but the law does not take into account increase, which + he may very well obtain; commissions have wide margins for the deputies of + the Centre, you know, and we cannot openly oppose the good-will that is + shown to this dear friend.” + </p> + <p> + “But where would he get the money?” + </p> + <p> + “How did Manuel manage to become the owner of a house in Paris?” cried the + minister. + </p> + <p> + The cashier listened and heard, but reluctantly and against his will. + These rapid remarks, murmured as they were, struck his ear by one of those + acoustic rebounds which are very little studied. As he heard these + political confidences, however, a keen alarm took possession of his soul. + He was one of those simple-minded beings, who are shocked at listening to + anything they are not intended to hear, or entering where they are not + invited, and seeming bold when they are really timid, inquisitive where + they are truly discreet. The cashier accordingly began to glide along the + carpet and edge himself away, so that the minister saw him at a distance + when he first took notice of him. Saillard was a ministerial henchman + absolutely incapable of indiscretion; even if the minister had known that + he had overheard a secret he had only to whisper “motus” in his ear to be + sure it was perfectly safe. The cashier, however, took advantage of an + influx of office-seekers, to slip out and get into his hackney-coach + (hired by the hour for these costly entertainments), and to return to his + home in the place Royale. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0003" id="link2HCH0003"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER III. THE TEREDOS NAVALIS, OTHERWISE CALLED SHIP-WORM + </h2> + <p> + While old Saillard was driving across Paris his son-in-law, Isidore + Baudoyer, and his daughter, Elisabeth, Baudoyer’s wife, were playing a + virtuous game of boston with their confessor, the Abbe Gaudron, in company + with a few neighbors and a certain Martin Falleix, a brass-founder in the + fauborg Saint-Antoine, to whom Saillard had loaned the necessary money to + establish a business. This Falleix, a respectable Auvergnat who had come + to seek his fortune in Paris with his smelting-pot on his back, had found + immediate employment with the firm of Brezac, collectors of metals and + other relics from all chateaux in the provinces. About twenty-seven years + of age, and spoiled, like others, by success, Martin Falleix had had the + luck to become the active agent of Monsieur Saillard, the sleeping-partner + in the working out of a discovery made by Falleix in smelting (patent of + invention and gold medal granted at the exposition of 1825). Madame + Baudoyer, whose only daughter was treading—to use an expression of + old Saillard’s—on the tail of her twelve years, laid claim to + Falleix, a thickset, swarthy, active young fellow, of shrewd principles, + whose education she was superintending. The said education, according to + her ideas, consisted in teaching him to play boston, to hold his cards + properly, and not to let others see his game; to shave himself regularly + before he came to the house, and to wash his hands with good cleansing + soap; not to swear, to speak her kind of French, to wear boots instead of + shoes, cotton shirts instead of sacking, and to brush up his hair instead + of plastering it flat. During the preceding week Elisabeth had finally + succeeded in persuading Falleix to give up wearing a pair of enormous flat + earrings resembling hoops. + </p> + <p> + “You go too far, Madame Baudoyer,” he said, seeing her satisfaction at the + final sacrifice; “you order me about too much. You make me clean my teeth, + which loosens them; presently you will want me to brush my nails and curl + my hair, which won’t do at all in our business; we don’t like dandies.” + </p> + <p> + Elisabeth Baudoyer, nee Saillard, is one of those persons who escape + portraiture through their utter commonness; yet who ought to be sketched, + because they are specimens of that second-rate Parisian bourgeoisie which + occupies a place above the well-to-do artisan and below the upper middle + classes,—a tribe whose virtues are well-nigh vices, whose defects + are never kindly, but whose habits and manners, dull and insipid though + they be, are not without a certain originality. Something pinched and puny + about Elisabeth Saillard was painful to the eye. Her figure, scarcely over + four feet in height, was so thin that the waist measured less than twenty + inches. Her small features, which clustered close about the nose, gave her + face a vague resemblance to a weasel’s snout. Though she was past thirty + years old she looked scarcely more than sixteen. Her eyes, of porcelain + blue, overweighted by heavy eyelids which fell nearly straight from the + arch of the eyebrows, had little light in them. Everything about her + appearance was commonplace: witness her flaxen hair, tending to whiteness; + her flat forehead, from which the light did not reflect; and her dull + complexion, with gray, almost leaden, tones. The lower part of the face, + more triangular than oval, ended irregularly the otherwise irregular + outline of her face. Her voice had a rather pretty range of intonation, + from sharp to sweet. Elisabeth was a perfect specimen of the second-rate + little bourgeoisie who lectures her husband behind the curtains; obtains + no credit for her virtues; is ambitious without intelligent object, and + solely through the development of her domestic selfishness. Had she lived + in the country she would have bought up adjacent land; being, as she was, + connected with the administration, she was determined to push her way. If + we relate the life of her father and mother, we shall show the sort of + woman she was by a picture of her childhood and youth. + </p> + <p> + Monsieur Saillard married the daughter of an upholsterer keeping shop + under the arcades of the Market. Limited means compelled Monsieur and + Madame Saillard at their start in life to bear constant privation. After + thirty-three years of married life, and twenty-nine years of toil in a + government office, the property of “the Saillards”—their circle of + acquaintance called them so—consisted of sixty thousand francs + entrusted to Falleix, the house in the place Royale, bought for forty + thousand in 1804, and thirty-six thousand francs given in dowry to their + daughter Elisabeth. Out of this capital about fifty thousand came to them + by the will of the widow Bidault, Madame Saillard’s mother. Saillard’s + salary from the government had always been four thousand five hundred + francs a year, and no more; his situation was a blind alley that led + nowhere, and had tempted no one to supersede him. Those ninety thousand + francs, put together sou by sou, were the fruit therefore of a sordid + economy unintelligently employed. In fact, the Saillards did not know how + better to manage their savings than to carry them, five thousand francs at + a time, to their notary, Monsieur Sorbier, Cardot’s predecessor, and let + him invest them at five per cent in first mortgages, with the wife’s + rights reserved in case the borrower was married! In 1804 Madame Saillard + obtained a government office for the sale of stamped papers, a + circumstance which brought a servant into the household for the first + time. At the time of which we write, the house, which was worth a hundred + thousand francs, brought in a rental of eight thousand. Falleix paid seven + per cent for the sixty thousand invested in the foundry, besides an equal + division of profits. The Saillards were therefore enjoying an income of + not less than seventeen thousand francs a year. The whole ambition of the + good man now centred on obtaining the cross of the Legion and his retiring + pension. + </p> + <p> + Elisabeth, the only child, had toiled steadily from infancy in a home + where the customs of life were rigid and the ideas simple. A new hat for + Saillard was a matter of deliberation; the time a coat could last was + estimated and discussed; umbrellas were carefully hung up by means of a + brass buckle. Since 1804 no repairs of any kind had been done to the + house. The Saillards kept the ground-floor in precisely the state in which + their predecessor left it. The gilding of the pier-glasses was rubbed off; + the paint on the cornices was hardly visible through the layers of dust + that time had collected. The fine large rooms still retained certain + sculptured marble mantel-pieces and ceilings, worthy of Versailles, + together with the old furniture of the widow Bidault. The latter consisted + of a curious mixture of walnut armchairs, disjointed, and covered with + tapestry; rosewood bureaus; round tables on single pedestals, with brass + railings and cracked marble tops; one superb Boulle secretary, the value + of which style had not yet been recognized; in short, a chaos of bargains + picked up by the worthy widow,—pictures bought for the sake of the + frames, china services of a composite order; to wit, a magnificent + Japanese dessert set, and all the rest porcelains of various makes, + unmatched silver plate, old glass, fine damask, and a four-post bedstead, + hung with curtains and garnished with plumes. + </p> + <p> + Amid these curious relics, Madame Saillard always sat on a sofa of modern + mahogany, near a fireplace full of ashes and without fire, on the + mantel-shelf of which stood a clock, some antique bronzes, candelabra with + paper flowers but no candles, for the careful housewife lighted the room + with a tall tallow candle always guttering down into the flat brass + candlestick which held it. Madame Saillard’s face, despite its wrinkles, + was expressive of obstinacy and severity, narrowness of ideas, an + uprightness that might be called quadrangular, a religion without piety, + straightforward, candid avarice, and the peace of a quiet conscience. You + may see in certain Flemish pictures the wives of burgomasters cut out by + nature on the same pattern and wonderfully reproduced on canvas; but these + dames wear fine robes of velvet and precious stuffs, whereas Madame + Saillard possessed no robes, only that venerable garment called in + Touraine and Picardy “cottes,” elsewhere petticoats, or skirts pleated + behind and on each side, with other skirts hanging over them. Her bust was + inclosed in what was called a “casaquin,” another obsolete name for a + short gown or jacket. She continued to wear a cap with starched wings, and + shoes with high heels. Though she was now fifty-seven years old, and her + lifetime of vigorous household work ought now to be rewarded with + well-earned repose, she was incessantly employed in knitting her husband’s + stockings and her own, and those of an uncle, just as her countrywomen + knit them, moving about the room, talking, pacing up and down the garden, + or looking round the kitchen to watch what was going on. + </p> + <p> + The Saillard’s avarice, which was really imposed on them in the first + instance by dire necessity, was now a second nature. When the cashier got + back from the office, he laid aside his coat, and went to work in the + large garden, shut off from the courtyard by an iron railing, and which + the family reserved to itself. For years Elisabeth, the daughter, went to + market every morning with her mother, and the two did all the work of the + house. The mother cooked well, especially a duck with turnips; but, + according to Saillard, no one could equal Elisabeth in hashing the remains + of a leg of mutton with onions. “You might eat your boots with those + onions and not know it,” he remarked. As soon as Elisabeth knew how to + hold a needle, her mother had her mend the household linen and her + father’s coats. Always at work, like a servant, she never went out alone. + Though living close by the boulevard du Temple, where Franconi, La Gaite, + and l’Ambigu-Comique were within a stone’s throw, and, further on, the + Porte-Saint-Martin, Elisabeth had never seen a comedy. When she asked to + “see what it was like” (with the Abbe Gaudron’s permission, be it + understood), Monsieur Baudoyer took her—for the glory of the thing, + and to show her the finest that was to be seen—to the Opera, where + they were playing “The Chinese Laborer.” Elisabeth thought “the comedy” as + wearisome as the plague of flies, and never wished to see another. On + Sundays, after walking four times to and fro between the place Royale and + Saint-Paul’s church (for her mother made her practise the precepts and the + duties of religion), her parents took her to the pavement in front of the + Cafe Ture, where they sat on chairs placed between a railing and the wall. + The Saillards always made haste to reach the place early so as to choose + the best seats, and found much entertainment in watching the passers-by. + In those days the Cafe Ture was the rendezvous of the fashionable society + of the Marais, the faubourg Saint-Antoine, and the circumjacent regions. + </p> + <p> + Elisabeth never wore anything but cotton gowns in summer and merino in the + winter, which she made herself. Her mother gave her twenty francs a month + for her expenses, but her father, who was very fond of her, mitigated this + rigorous treatment with a few presents. She never read what the Abbe + Gaudron, vicar of Saint-Paul’s and the family director, called profane + books. This discipline had borne fruit. Forced to employ her feelings on + some passion or other, Elisabeth became eager after gain. Though she was + not lacking in sense or perspicacity, religious theories, and her complete + ignorance of higher emotions had encircled all her faculties with an iron + hand; they were exercised solely on the commonest things of life; spent in + a few directions they were able to concentrate themselves on a matter in + hand. Repressed by religious devotion, her natural intelligence exercised + itself within the limits marked out by cases of conscience, which form a + mine of subtleties among which self-interest selects its subterfuges. Like + those saintly personages in whom religion does not stifle ambition, + Elisabeth was capable of requiring others to do a blamable action that she + might reap the fruits; and she would have been, like them again, + implacable as to her dues and dissembling in her actions. Once offended, + she watched her adversaries with the perfidious patience of a cat, and was + capable of bringing about some cold and complete vengeance, and then + laying it to the account of God. Until her marriage the Saillards lived + without other society than that of the Abbe Gaudron, a priest from + Auvergne appointed vicar of Saint-Paul’s after the restoration of Catholic + worship. Besides this ecclesiastic, who was a friend of the late Madame + Bidault, a paternal uncle of Madame Saillard, an old paper-dealer retired + from business ever since the year II. of the Republic, and now sixty-nine + years old, came to see them on Sundays only, because on that day no + government business went on. + </p> + <p> + This little old man, with a livid face blazoned by the red nose of a + tippler and lighted by two gleaming vulture eyes, allowed his gray hair to + hang loose under a three-cornered hat, wore breeches with straps that + extended beyond the buckles, cotton stockings of mottled thread knitted by + his niece, whom he always called “the little Saillard,” stout shoes with + silver buckles, and a surtout coat of mixed colors. He looked very much + like those verger-beadle-bell-ringing-grave-digging-parish-clerks who are + taken to be caricatures until we see them performing their various + functions. On the present occasion he had come on foot to dine with the + Saillards, intending to return in the same way to the rue Greneta, where + he lived on the third floor of an old house. His business was that of + discounting commercial paper in the quartier Saint-Martin, where he was + known by the nickname of “Gigonnet,” from the nervous convulsive movement + with which he lifted his legs in walking, like a cat. Monsieur Bidault + began this business in the year II. in partnership with a dutchman named + Werbrust, a friend of Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + Some time later Saillard made the acquaintance of Monsieur and Madame + Transon, wholesale dealers in pottery, with an establishment in the rue de + Lesdiguieres, who took an interest in Elisabeth and introduced young + Isadore Baudoyer to the family with the intention of marrying her. + Gigonnet approved of the match, for he had long employed a certain Mitral, + uncle of the young man, as clerk. Monsieur and Madame Baudoyer, father and + mother of Isidore, highly respected leather-dressers in the rue Censier, + had slowly made a moderate fortune out of a small trade. After marrying + their only son, on whom they settled fifty thousand francs, they + determined to live in the country, and had lately removed to the + neighborhood of Ile-d’Adam, where after a time they were joined by Mitral. + They frequently came to Paris, however, where they kept a corner in the + house in the rue Censier which they gave to Isidore on his marriage. The + elder Baudoyers had an income of about three thousand francs left to live + upon after establishing their son. + </p> + <p> + Mitral was a being with a sinister wig, a face the color of Seine water, + lighted by a pair of Spanish-tobacco-colored eyes, cold as a well-rope, + always smelling a rat, and close-mouthed about his property. He probably + made his fortune in his own hole and corner, just as Werbrust and Gigonnet + made theirs in the quartier Saint-Martin. + </p> + <p> + Though the Saillards’ circle of acquaintance increased, neither their + ideas nor their manners and customs changed. The saint’s-days of father, + mother, daughter, son-in-law, and grandchild were carefully observed, also + the anniversaries of birth and marriage, Easter, Christmas, New Year’s + day, and Epiphany. These festivals were preceded by great domestic + sweepings and a universal clearing up of the house, which added an element + of usefulness to the ceremonies. When the festival day came, the presents + were offered with much pomp and an accompaniment of flowers,—silk + stockings or a fur cap for old Saillard; gold earrings and articles of + plate for Elisabeth or her husband, for whom, little by little, the + parents were accumulating a whole silver service; silk petticoats for + Madame Saillard, who laid the stuff by and never made it up. The recipient + of these gifts was placed in an armchair and asked by those present for a + certain length of time, “Guess what we have for you!” Then came a splendid + dinner, lasting at least five hours, to which were invited the Abbe + Gaudron, Falleix, Rabourdin, Monsieur Godard, under-head-clerk to Monsieur + Baudoyer, Monsieur Bataille, captain of the company of the National Guard + to which Saillard and his son-in-law belonged. Monsieur Cardot, who was + invariably asked, did as Rabourdin did, namely, accepted one invitation + out of six. The company sang at dessert, shook hands and embraced with + enthusiasm, wishing each other all manner of happiness; the presents were + exhibited and the opinion of the guests asked about them. The day Saillard + received his fur cap he wore it during the dessert, to the satisfaction of + all present. At night, mere ordinary acquaintances were bidden, and + dancing went on till very late, formerly to the music of one violin, but + for the last six years Monsieur Godard, who was a great flute player, + contributed the piercing tones of a flageolet to the festivity. The cook, + Madame Baudoyer’s nurse, and old Catherine, Madame Saillard’s + woman-servant, together with the porter or his wife, stood looking on at + the door of the salon. The servants always received three francs on these + occasions to buy themselves wine or coffee. + </p> + <p> + This little circle looked upon Saillard and Baudoyer as transcendent + beings; they were government officers; they had risen by their own merits; + they worked, it was said, with the minister himself; they owed their + fortune to their talents; they were politicians. Baudoyer was considered + the more able of the two; his position as head of a bureau presupposed + labor that was more intricate and arduous than that of a cashier. + Moreover, Isidore, though the son of a leather-dresser, had had the genius + to study and to cast aside his father’s business and find a career in + politics, which had led him to a post of eminence. In short, silent and + uncommunicative as he was, he was looked upon as a deep thinker, and + perhaps, said the admiring circle, he would some day become deputy of the + eighth arrondissement. As Gigonnet listened to such remarks as these, he + pressed his already pinched lips closer together, and threw a glance at + his great-niece, Elisabeth. + </p> + <p> + In person, Isidore was a tall, stout man of thirty-seven, who perspired + freely, and whose head looked as if he had water on the brain. This + enormous head, covered with chestnut hair cropped close, was joined to the + neck by rolls of flesh which overhung the collar of his coat. He had the + arms of Hercules, hands worthy of Domitian, a stomach which sobriety held + within the limits of the majestic, to use a saying of Brillaet-Savarin. + His face was a good deal like that of the Emperor Alexander. The Tartar + type was in the little eyes and the flattened nose turned slightly up, in + the frigid lips and the short chin. The forehead was low and narrow. + Though his temperament was lymphatic, the devout Isidore was under the + influence of a conjugal passion which time did not lessen. + </p> + <p> + In spite, however, of his resemblance to the handsome Russian Emperor and + the terrible Domitian, Isidore Baudoyer was nothing more than a political + office-holder, of little ability as head of his department, a + cut-and-dried routine man, who concealed the fact that he was a flabby + cipher by so ponderous a personality that no scalpel could cut deep enough + to let the operator see into him. His severe studies, in which he had + shown the patience and sagacity of an ox, and his square head, deceived + his parents, who firmly believed him an extraordinary man. Pedantic and + hypercritical, meddlesome and fault-finding, he was a terror to the clerks + under him, whom he worried in their work, enforcing the rules rigorously, + and arriving himself with such terrible punctuality that not one of them + dared to be a moment late. Baudoyer wore a blue coat with gilt buttons, a + chamois waistcoat, gray trousers and cravats of various colors. His feet + were large and ill-shod. From the chain of his watch depended an enormous + bunch of old trinkets, among which in 1824 he still wore “American beads,” + which were very much the fashion in the year VII. + </p> + <p> + In the bosom of this family, bound together by the force of religious + ties, by the inflexibility of its customs, by one solitary emotion, that + of avarice, a passion which was now as it were its compass, Elisabeth was + forced to commune with herself, instead of imparting her ideas to those + around her, for she felt herself without equals in mind who could + comprehend her. Though facts compelled her to judge her husband, her + religious duty led her to keep up as best she could a favorable opinion of + him; she showed him marked respect; honored him as the father of her + child, her husband, the temporal power, as the vicar of Saint-Paul’s told + her. She would have thought it a mortal sin to make a single gesture, or + give a single glance, or say a single word which would reveal to others + her real opinion of the imbecile Baudoyer. She even professed to obey + passively all his wishes. But her ears were receptive of many things; she + thought them over, weighed and compared them in the solitude of her mind, + and judged so soberly of men and events that at the time when our history + begins she was the hidden oracle of the two functionaries, her husband and + father, who had, unconsciously, come to do nothing whatever without + consulting her. Old Saillard would say, innocently, “Isn’t she clever, + that Elisabeth of mine?” But Baudoyer, too great a fool not to be puffed + up by the false reputation the quartier Saint-Antoine bestowed upon him, + denied his wife’s cleverness all the while that he was making use of it. + </p> + <p> + Elisabeth had long felt sure that her uncle Bidault, otherwise called + Gigonnet, was rich and handled vast sums of money. Enlightened by + self-interest, she had come to understand Monsieur des Lupeaulx far better + than the minister understood him. Finding herself married to a fool, she + never allowed herself to think that life might have gone better with her, + she only imagined the possibility of better things without expecting or + wishing to attain them. All her best affections found their vocation in + her love for her daughter, to whom she spared the pains and privations she + had borne in her own childhood; she believed that in this affection she + had her full share in the world of feeling. Solely for her daughter’s sake + she had persuaded her father to take the important step of going into + partnership with Falleix. Falleix had been brought to the Saillard’s house + by old Bidault, who lent him money on his merchandise. Falleix thought his + old countryman extortionate, and complained to the Saillards that Gigonnet + demanded eighteen per cent from an Auvergnat. Madame Saillard ventured to + remonstrate with her uncle. + </p> + <p> + “It is just because he is an Auvergnat that I take only eighteen per + cent,” said Gigonnet, when she spoke of him. + </p> + <p> + Falleix, who had made a discovery at the age of twenty-eight, and + communicated it to Saillard, seemed to carry his heart in his hand (an + expression of old Saillard’s), and also seemed likely to make a great + fortune. Elisabeth determined to husband him for her daughter and train + him herself, having, as she calculated, seven years to do it in. Martin + Falleix felt and showed the deepest respect for Madame Baudoyer, whose + superior qualities he was able to recognize. If he were fated to make + millions he would always belong to her family, where he had found a home. + The little Baudoyer girl was already trained to bring him his tea and to + take his hat. + </p> + <p> + On the evening of which we write, Monsieur Saillard, returning from the + ministry, found a game of boston in full blast; Elisabeth was advising + Falleix how to play; Madame Saillard was knitting in the chimney-corner + and overlooking the cards of the vicar; Monsieur Baudoyer, motionless as a + mile-stone, was employing his mental capacity in calculating how the cards + were placed, and sat opposite to Mitral, who had come up from Ile-d’Adam + for the Christmas holidays. No one moved as the cashier entered, and for + some minutes he walked up and down the room, his fat face contracted with + unaccustomed thought. + </p> + <p> + “He is always so when he dines at the ministry,” remarked Madame Saillard; + “happily, it is only twice a year, or he’d die of it. Saillard was never + made to be in the government—Well, now, I do hope, Saillard,” she + continued in a loud tone, “that you are not going to keep on those silk + breeches and that handsome coat. Go and take them off; don’t wear them at + home, my man.” + </p> + <p> + “Your father has something on his mind,” said Baudoyer to his wife, when + the cashier was in his bedroom, undressing without any fire. + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps Monsieur de la Billardiere is dead,” said Elisabeth, simply; “and + as he is anxious you should have the place, it worries him.” + </p> + <p> + “Can I be useful in any way?” said the vicar of Saint-Paul’s; “if so, pray + use my services. I have the honor to be known to Madame la Dauphine. These + are days when public offices should be given only to faithful men, whose + religious principles are not to be shaken.” + </p> + <p> + “Dear me!” said Falleix, “do men of merit need protectors and influence to + get places in the government service? I am glad I am an iron-master; my + customers know where to find a good article—” + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur,” interrupted Baudoyer, “the government is the government; never + attack it in this house.” + </p> + <p> + “You speak like the ‘Constitutionel,’” said the vicar. + </p> + <p> + “The ‘Constitutionel’ never says anything different from that,” replied + Baudoyer, who never read it. + </p> + <p> + The cashier believed his son-in-law to be as superior in talent to + Rabourdin as God was greater than Saint-Crepin, to use his own expression; + but the good man coveted this appointment in a straightforward, honest + way. Influenced by the feeling which leads all officials to seek + promotion,—a violent, unreflecting, almost brutal passion,—he + desired success, just as he desired the cross of the Legion of honor, + without doing anything against his conscience to obtain it, and solely, as + he believed, on the strength of his son-in-law’s merits. To his thinking, + a man who had patiently spent twenty-five years in a government office + behind an iron railing had sacrificed himself to his country and deserved + the cross. But all that he dreamed of doing to promote his son-in-law’s + appointment in La Billardiere’s place was to say a word to his + Excellency’s wife when he took her the month’s salary. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Saillard, you look as if you had lost all your friends! Do speak; + do, pray, tell us something,” cried his wife when he came back into the + room. + </p> + <p> + Saillard, after making a little sign to his daughter, turned on his heel + to keep himself from talking politics before strangers. When Monsieur + Mitral and the vicar had departed, Saillard rolled back the card-table and + sat down in an armchair in the attitude he always assumed when about to + tell some office-gossip,—a series of movements which answered the + purpose of the three knocks given at the Theatre-Francais. After binding + his wife, daughter, and son-in-law to the deepest secrecy,—for, + however petty the gossip, their places, as he thought, depended on their + discretion,—he related the incomprehensible enigma of the + resignation of a deputy, the very legitimate desire of the + general-secretary to get elected to the place, and the secret opposition + of the minister to this wish of a man who was one of his firmest + supporters and most zealous workers. This, of course, brought down an + avalanche of suppositions, flooded with the sapient arguments of the two + officials, who sent back and forth to each other a wearisome flood of + nonsense. Elisabeth quietly asked three questions:— + </p> + <p> + “If Monsieur des Lupeaulx is on our side, will Monsieur Baudoyer be + appointed in Monsieur de la Billardiere’s place?” + </p> + <p> + “Heavens! I should think so,” cried the cashier. + </p> + <p> + “My uncle Bidault and Monsieur Gobseck helped in him 1814,” thought she. + “Is he in debt?” she asked, aloud. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” cried the cashier with a hissing and prolonged sound on the last + letter; “his salary was attached, but some of the higher powers released + it by a bill at sight.” + </p> + <p> + “Where is the des Lupeaulx estate?” + </p> + <p> + “Why, don’t you know? in the part of the country where your grandfather + and your great-uncle Bidault belong, in the arrondissement of the deputy + who wants to resign.” + </p> + <p> + When her colossus of a husband had gone to bed, Elisabeth leaned over him, + and though he always treated her remarks as women’s nonsense, she said, + “Perhaps you will really get Monsieur de la Billardiere’s place.” + </p> + <p> + “There you go with your imaginations!” said Baudoyer; “leave Monsieur + Gaudron to speak to the Dauphine and don’t meddle with politics.” + </p> + <p> + At eleven o’clock, when all were asleep in the place Royale, Monsieur des + Lupeaulx was leaving the Opera for the rue Duphot. This particular + Wednesday was one of Madame Rabourdin’s most brilliant evenings. Many of + her customary guests came in from the theatres and swelled the company + already assembled, among whom were several celebrities, such as: Canalis + the poet, Schinner the painter, Dr. Bianchon, Lucien de Rubempre, Octave + de Camps, the Comte de Granville, the Vicomte de Fontaine, du Bruel the + vaudevillist, Andoche Finot the journalist, Derville, one of the best + heads in the law courts, the Comte du Chatelet, deputy, du Tillet, banker, + and several elegant young men, such as Paul de Manerville and the Vicomte + de Portenduere. Celestine was pouring out tea when the general-secretary + entered. Her dress that evening was very becoming; she wore a black velvet + robe without ornament of any kind, a black gauze scarf, her hair smoothly + bound about her head and raised in a heavy braided mass, with long curls a + l’Anglaise falling on either side of her face. The charms which + particularly distinguished this woman were the Italian ease of her + artistic nature, her ready comprehension, and the grace with which she + welcomed and promoted the least appearance of a wish on the part of + others. Nature had given her an elegant, slender figure, which could sway + lightly at a word, black eyes of oriental shape, able, like those of the + Chinese women, to see out of their corners. She well knew how to manage a + soft, insinuating voice, which threw a tender charm into every word, even + such as she merely chanced to utter; her feet were like those we see in + portraits where the painter boldly lies and flatters his sitter in the + only way which does not compromise anatomy. Her complexion, a little + yellow by day, like that of most brunettes, was dazzling at night under + the wax candles, which brought out the brilliancy of her black hair and + eyes. Her slender and well-defined outlines reminded an artist of the + Venus of the Middle Ages rendered by Jean Goujon, the illustrious sculptor + of Diane de Poitiers. + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx stopped in the doorway, and leaned against the woodwork. This + ferret of ideas did not deny himself the pleasure of spying upon + sentiment, and this woman interested him more than any of the others to + whom he had attached himself. Des Lupeaulx had reached an age when men + assert pretensions in regard to women. The first white hairs lead to the + latest passions, all the more violent because they are astride of + vanishing powers and dawning weakness. The age of forty is the age of + folly,—an age when man wants to be loved for himself; whereas at + twenty-five life is so full that he has no wants. At twenty-five he + overflows with vigor and wastes it with impunity, but at forty he learns + that to use it in that way is to abuse it. The thoughts that came into des + Lupeaulx’s mind at this moment were melancholy ones. The nerves of the old + beau relaxed; the agreeable smile, which served as a mask and made the + character of his countenance, faded; the real man appeared, and he was + horrible. Rabourdin caught sight of him and thought, “What has happened to + him? can he be disgraced in any way?” The general-secretary was, however, + only thinking how the pretty Madame Colleville, whose intentions were + exactly those of Madame Rabourdin, had summarily abandoned him when it + suited her to do so. Rabourdin caught the sham statesman’s eyes fixed on + his wife, and he recorded the look in his memory. He was too keen an + observer not to understand des Lupeaulx to the bottom, and he deeply + despised him; but, as with most busy men, his feelings and sentiments + seldom came to the surface. Absorption in a beloved work is practically + equivalent to the cleverest dissimulation, and thus it was that the + opinions and ideas of Rabourdin were a sealed book to des Lupeaulx. The + former was sorry to see the man in his house, but he was never willing to + oppose his wife’s wishes. At this particular moment, while he talked + confidentially with a supernumerary of his office who was destined, later, + to play an unconscious part in a political intrigue resulting from the + death of La Billardiere, he watched, though half-abstractedly, his wife + and des Lupeaulx. + </p> + <p> + Here we must explain, as much for foreigners as for our own grandchildren, + what a supernumerary in a government office in Paris means. + </p> + <p> + The supernumerary is to the administration what a choir-boy is to a + church, what the company’s child is to the regiment, what the figurante is + to a theatre; something artless, naive, innocent, a being blinded by + illusions. Without illusions what would become of any of us? They give + strength to bear the res angusta domi of arts and the beginnings of all + science by inspiring us with faith. Illusion is illimitable faith. Now the + supernumerary has faith in the administration; he never thinks it cold, + cruel, and hard, as it really is. There are two kinds of supernumeraries, + or hangers-on,—one poor, the other rich. The poor one is rich in + hope and wants a place, the rich one is poor in spirit and wants nothing. + A wealthy family is not so foolish as to put its able men into the + administration. It confides an unfledged scion to some head-clerk, or + gives him in charge of a directory who initiates him into what Bilboquet, + that profound philosopher, called the high comedy of government; he is + spared all the horrors of drudgery and is finally appointed to some + important office. The rich supernumerary never alarms the other clerks; + they know he does not endanger their interests, for he seeks only the + highest posts in the administration. About the period of which we write + many families were saying to themselves: “What can we do with our sons?” + The army no longer offered a chance for fortune. Special careers, such as + civil and military engineering, the navy, mining, and the professorial + chair were all fenced about by strict regulations or to be obtained only + by competition; whereas in the civil service the revolving wheel which + turned clerks into prefects, sub-prefects, assessors, and collectors, like + the figures in a magic lantern, was subjected to no such rules and + entailed no drudgery. Through this easy gap emerged into life the rich + supernumeraries who drove their tilburys, dressed well, and wore + moustachios, all of them as impudent as parvenus. Journalists were apt to + persecute the tribe, who were cousins, nephews, brothers, or other + relatives of some minister, some deputy, or an influential peer. The + humbler clerks regarded them as a means of influence. + </p> + <p> + The poor supernumerary, on the other hand, who is the only real worker, is + almost always the son of some former clerk’s widow, who lives on a meagre + pension and sacrifices herself to support her son until he can get a place + as copying-clerk, and then dies leaving him no nearer the head of his + department than writer of deeds, order-clerks, or, possibly, + under-head-clerk. Living always in some locality where rents are low, this + humble supernumerary starts early from home. For him the Eastern question + relates only to the morning skies. To go on foot and not get muddied, to + save his clothes, and allow for the time he may lose in standing under + shelter during a shower, are the preoccupations of his mind. The street + pavements, the flaggings of the quays and the boulevards, when first laid + down, were a boon to him. If, for some extraordinary reason, you happen to + be in the streets of Paris at half-past seven or eight o’clock of a + winter’s morning, and see through piercing cold or fog or rain a timid, + pale young man loom up, cigarless, take notice of his pockets. You will be + sure to see the outline of a roll which his mother has given him to stay + his stomach between breakfast and dinner. The guilelessness of the + supernumerary does not last long. A youth enlightened by gleams by + Parisian life soon measures the frightful distance that separates him from + the head-clerkship, a distance which no mathematician, neither Archimedes, + nor Leibnitz, nor Laplace has ever reckoned, the distance that exists + between 0 and the figure 1. He begins to perceive the impossibilities of + his career; he hears talk of favoritism; he discovers the intrigues of + officials: he sees the questionable means by which his superiors have + pushed their way,—one has married a young woman who made a false + step; another, the natural daughter of a minister; this one shouldered the + responsibility of another’s fault; that one, full of talent, risks his + health in doing, with the perseverance of a mole, prodigies of work which + the man of influence feels incapable of doing for himself, though he takes + the credit. Everything is known in a government office. The incapable man + has a wife with a clear head, who has pushed him along and got him + nominated for deputy; if he has not talent enough for an office, he cabals + in the Chamber. The wife of another has a statesman at her feet. A third + is the hidden informant of a powerful journalist. Often the disgusted and + hopeless supernumerary sends in his resignation. About three fourths of + his class leave the government employ without ever obtaining an + appointment, and their number is winnowed down to either those young men + who are foolish or obstinate enough to say to themselves, “I have been + here three years, and I must end sooner or later by getting a place,” or + to those who are conscious of a vocation for the work. Undoubtedly the + position of supernumerary in a government office is precisely what the + novitiate is in a religious order,—a trial. It is a rough trial. The + State discovers how many of them can bear hunger, thirst, and penury + without breaking down, how many can toil without revolting against it; it + learns which temperaments can bear up under the horrible experience—or + if you like, the disease—of government official life. From this + point of view the apprenticeship of the supernumerary, instead of being an + infamous device of the government to obtain labor gratis, becomes a useful + institution. + </p> + <p> + The young man with whom Rabourdin was talking was a poor supernumerary + named Sebastien de la Roche, who had picked his way on the points of his + toes, without incurring the least splash upon his boots, from the rue du + Roi-Dore in the Marais. He talked of his mamma, and dared not raise his + eyes to Madame Rabourdin, whose house appeared to him as gorgeous as the + Louvre. He was careful to show his gloves, well cleaned with india-rubber, + as little as he could. His poor mother had put five francs in his pocket + in case it became absolutely necessary that he should play cards; but she + enjoined him to take nothing, to remain standing, and to be very careful + not to knock over a lamp or the bric-a-brac from an etagere. His dress was + all of the strictest black. His fair face, his eyes, of a fine shade of + green with golden reflections, were in keeping with a handsome head of + auburn hair. The poor lad looked furtively at Madame Rabourdin, whispering + to himself, “How beautiful!” and was likely to dream of that fairy when he + went to bed. + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin had noted a vocation for his work in the lad, and as he himself + took the whole service seriously, he felt a lively interest in him. He + guessed the poverty of his mother’s home, kept together on a widow’s + pension of seven hundred francs a year—for the education of the son, + who was just out of college, had absorbed all her savings. He therefore + treated the youth almost paternally; often endeavoured to get him some fee + from the Council, or paid it from his own pocket. He overwhelmed Sebastien + with work, trained him, and allowed him to do the work of du Bruel’s + place, for which that vaudevillist, otherwise known as Cursy, paid him + three hundred francs out of his salary. In the minds of Madame de la Roche + and her son, Rabourdin was at once a great man, a tyrant, and an angel. On + him all the poor fellow’s hopes of getting an appointment depended, and + the lad’s devotion to his chief was boundless. He dined once a fortnight + in the rue Duphot; but always at a family dinner, invited by Rabourdin + himself; Madame asked him to evening parties only when she wanted + partners. + </p> + <p> + At that moment Rabourdin was scolding poor Sebastien, the only human being + who was in the secret of his immense labors. The youth copied and recopied + the famous “statement,” written on a hundred and fifty folio sheets, + besides the corroborative documents, and the summing up (contained in one + page), with the estimates bracketed, the captions in a running hand, and + the sub-titles in a round one. Full of enthusiasm, in spite of his merely + mechanical participation in the great idea, the lad of twenty would + rewrite whole pages for a single blot, and made it his glory to touch up + the writing, regarding it as the element of a noble undertaking. Sebastien + had that afternoon committed the great imprudence of carrying into the + general office, for the purpose of copying, a paper which contained the + most dangerous facts to make known prematurely, namely, a memorandum + relating to the officials in the central offices of all ministries, with + facts concerning their fortunes, actual and prospective, together with the + individual enterprises of each outside of his government employment. + </p> + <p> + All government clerks in Paris who are not endowed, like Rabourdin, with + patriotic ambition or other marked capacity, usually add the profits of + some industry to the salary of their office, in order to eke out a living. + A number do as Monsieur Saillard did,—put their money into a + business carried on by others, and spend their evenings in keeping the + books of their associates. Many clerks are married to milliners, licensed + tobacco dealers, women who have charge of the public lotteries or + reading-rooms. Some, like the husband of Madame Colleville, Celestine’s + rival, play in the orchestra of a theatre; others like du Bruel, write + vaudeville, comic operas, melodramas, or act as prompters behind the + scenes. We may mention among them Messrs. Planard, Sewrin, etc. + Pigault-Lebrun, Piis, Duvicquet, in their day, were in government employ. + Monsieur Scribe’s head-librarian was a clerk in the Treasury. + </p> + <p> + Besides such information as this, Rabourdin’s memorandum contained an + inquiry into the moral and physical capacities and faculties necessary in + those who were to examine the intelligence, aptitude for labor, and sound + health of the applicants for government service,—three indispensable + qualities in men who are to bear the burden of public affairs and should + do their business well and quickly. But this careful study, the result of + ten years’ observation and experience, and of a long acquaintance with men + and things obtained by intercourse with the various functionaries in the + different ministries, would assuredly have, to those who did not see its + purport and connection, an air of treachery and police espial. If a single + page of these papers were to fall under the eye of those concerned, + Monsieur Rabourdin was lost. Sebastien, who admired his chief without + reservation, and who was, as yet, wholly ignorant of the evils of + bureaucracy, had the follies of guilelessness as well as its grace. Blamed + on a former occasion for carrying away these papers, he now bravely + acknowledged his fault to its fullest extent; he related how he had put + away both the memorandum and the copy carefully in a box in the office + where no one would ever find them. Tears rolled from his eyes as he + realized the greatness of his offence. + </p> + <p> + “Come, come!” said Rabourdin, kindly. “Don’t be so imprudent again, but + never mind now. Go to the office very early tomorrow morning; here is the + key of a small safe which is in my roller secretary; it shuts with a + combination lock. You can open it with the word ‘sky’; put the memorandum + and your copy into it and shut it carefully.” + </p> + <p> + This proof of confidence dried the poor fellow’s tears. Rabourdin advised + him to take a cup of tea and some cakes. + </p> + <p> + “Mamma forbids me to drink tea, on account of my chest,” said Sebastien. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, my dear child,” said the imposing Madame Rabourdin, who + wished to appear gracious, “here are some sandwiches and cream; come and + sit by me.” + </p> + <p> + She made Sebastien sit down beside her, and the lad’s heart rose in his + throat as he felt the robe of this divinity brush the sleeve of his coat. + Just then the beautiful woman caught sight of Monsieur des Lupeaulx + standing in the doorway. She smiled, and not waiting till he came to her, + she went to him. + </p> + <p> + “Why do you stay there as if you were sulking?” she asked. + </p> + <p> + “I am not sulking,” he returned; “I came to announce some good news, but + the thought has overtaken me that it will only add to your severity + towards me. I fancy myself six months hence almost a stranger to you. Yes, + you are too clever, and I too experienced,—too blase, if you like,—for + either of us to deceive the other. Your end is attained without its + costing you more than a few smiles and gracious words.” + </p> + <p> + “Deceive each other! what can you mean?” she cried, in a hurt tone. + </p> + <p> + “Yes; Monsieur de la Billardiere is dying, and from what the minister told + me this evening I judge that your husband will be appointed in his place.” + </p> + <p> + He thereupon related what he called his scene at the ministry and the + jealousy of the countess, repeating her remarks about the invitation he + had asked her to send to Madame Rabourdin. + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur des Lupeaulx,” said Madame Rabourdin, with dignity, “permit me + to tell you that my husband is the oldest head-clerk as well as the most + capable man in the division; also that the appointment of La Billardiere + over his head made much talk in the service, and that my husband has + stayed on for the last year expecting this promotion, for which he has + really no competitor and no rival.” + </p> + <p> + “That is true.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then,” she resumed, smiling and showing her handsome teeth, “how + can you suppose that the friendship I feel for you is marred by a thought + of self-interest? Why should you think me capable of that?” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx made a gesture of admiring denial. + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” she continued, “the heart of woman will always remain a secret for + even the cleverest of men. Yes, I welcomed you to my house with the + greatest pleasure; and there was, I admit, a motive of self-interest + behind my pleasure—” + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” + </p> + <p> + “You have a career before you,” she whispered in his ear, “a future + without limit; you will be deputy, minister!” (What happiness for an + ambitious man when such things as these are warbled in his ear by the + sweet voice of a pretty woman!) “Oh, yes! I know you better than you know + yourself. Rabourdin is a man who could be of immense service to you in + such a career; he could do the steady work while you were in the Chamber. + Just as you dream of the ministry, so I dream of seeing Rabourdin in the + Council of State, and general director. It is therefore my object to draw + together two men who can never injure, but, on the contrary, must greatly + help each other. Isn’t that a woman’s mission? If you are friends, you + will both rise the faster, and it is surely high time that each of you + made hay. I have burned my ships,” she added, smiling. “But you are not as + frank with me as I have been with you.” + </p> + <p> + “You would not listen to me if I were,” he replied, with a melancholy air, + in spite of the deep inward satisfaction her remarks gave him. “What would + such future promotions avail me, if you dismiss me now?” + </p> + <p> + “Before I listen to you,” she replied, with naive Parisian liveliness, “we + must be able to understand each other.” + </p> + <p> + And she left the old fop to go and speak with Madame de Chessel, a + countess from the provinces, who seemed about to take leave. + </p> + <p> + “That is a very extraordinary woman,” said des Lupeaulx to himself. “I + don’t know my own self when I am with her.” + </p> + <p> + Accordingly, this man of no principle, who six years earlier had kept a + ballet-girl, and who now, thanks to his position, made himself a seraglio + with the pretty wives of the under-clerks, and lived in the world of + journalists and actresses, became devotedly attentive all the evening to + Celestine, and was the last to leave the house. + </p> + <p> + “At last!” thought Madame Rabourdin, as she undressed that night, “we have + the place! Twelve thousand francs a year and perquisites, beside the rents + of our farms at Grajeux,—nearly twenty thousand francs a year. It is + not affluence, but at least it isn’t poverty.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0004" id="link2HCH0004"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IV. THREE-QUARTER LENGTH PORTRAITS OF CERTAIN GOVERNMENT + </h2> + <h3> + OFFICIALS + </h3> + <p> + If it were possible for literature to use the microscope of the + Leuwenhoeks, the Malpighis, and the Raspails (an attempt once made by + Hoffman, of Berlin), and if we could magnify and then picture the teredos + navalis, in other words, those ship-worms which brought Holland within an + inch of collapsing by honey-combing her dykes, we might have been able to + give a more distinct idea of Messieurs Gigonnet, Baudoyer, Saillard, + Gaudron, Falleix, Transon, Godard and company, borers and burrowers, who + proved their undermining power in the thirtieth year of this century. + </p> + <p> + But now it is time to show another set of teredos, who burrowed and + swarmed in the government offices where the principal scenes of our + present study took place. + </p> + <p> + In Paris nearly all these government bureaus resemble each other. Into + whatever ministry you penetrate to ask some slight favor, or to get + redress for a trifling wrong, you will find the same dark corridors, + ill-lighted stairways, doors with oval panes of glass like eyes, as at the + theatre. In the first room as you enter you will find the office servant; + in the second, the under-clerks; the private office of the second + head-clerk is to the right or left, and further on is that of the head of + the bureau. As to the important personage called, under the Empire, head + of division, then, under the Restoration, director, and now by the former + name, head or chief of division, he lives either above or below the + offices of his three or four different bureaus. + </p> + <p> + Speaking in the administrative sense, a bureau consists of a man-servant, + several supernumeraries (who do the work gratis for a certain number of + years), various copying clerks, writers of bills and deeds, order clerks, + principal clerks, second or under head-clerk, and head-clerk, otherwise + called head or chief of the bureau. These denominational titles vary under + some administrations; for instance, the order-clerks are sometimes called + auditors, or again, book-keepers. + </p> + <p> + Paved like the corridor, and hung with a shabby paper, the first room, + where the servant is stationed, is furnished with a stove, a large black + table with inkstand, pens, and paper, and benches, but no mats on which to + wipe the public feet. The clerk’s office beyond is a large room, tolerably + well lighted, but seldom floored with wood. Wooden floors and fireplaces + are commonly kept sacred to heads of bureaus and divisions; and so are + closets, wardrobes, mahogany tables, sofas and armchairs covered with red + or green morocco, silk curtains, and other articles of administrative + luxury. The clerk’s office contents itself with a stove, the pipe of which + goes into the chimney, if there be a chimney. The wall paper is plain and + all of one color, usually green or brown. The tables are of black wood. + The private characteristics of the several clerks often crop out in their + method of settling themselves at their desks,—the chilly one has a + wooden footstool under his feet; the man with a bilious temperament has a + metal mat; the lymphatic being who dreads draughts constructs a + fortification of boxes on a screen. The door of the under-head-clerk’s + office always stands open so that he may keep an eye to some extent on his + subordinates. + </p> + <p> + Perhaps an exact description of Monsieur de la Billardiere’s division will + suffice to give foreigners and provincials an idea of the internal manners + and customs of a government office; the chief features of which are + probably much the same in the civil service of all European governments. + </p> + <p> + In the first place, picture to yourself the man who is thus described in + the Yearly Register:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Chief of Division.—Monsieur la baron Flamet de la Billardiere + (Athanase-Jean-Francois-Michel) formerly provost-marshal of + the department of the Correze, gentleman in ordinary of the + bed-chamber, president of the college of the department of the + Dordogne, officer of the Legion of honor, knight of Saint Louis + and of the foreign orders of Christ, Isabella, Saint Wladimir, + etc., member of the Academy of Gers, and other learned bodies, + vice-president of the Society of Belles-lettres, member of the + Association of Saint-Joseph and of the Society of Prisons, one of + the mayors of Paris, etc.” + </pre> + <p> + The person who requires so much typographic space was at this time + occupying an area five feet six in length by thirty-six inches in width in + a bed, his head adorned with a cotton night-cap tied on by flame-colored + ribbons; attended by Despleins, the King’s surgeon, and young doctor + Bianchon, flanked by two old female relatives, surrounded by phials of all + kinds, bandages, appliances, and various mortuary instruments, and watched + over by the curate of Saint-Roch, who was advising him to think of his + salvation. + </p> + <p> + La Billardiere’s division occupied the upper floor of a magnificent + mansion, in which the vast official ocean of a ministry was contained. A + wide landing separated its two bureaus, the doors of which were duly + labelled. The private offices and antechambers of the heads of the two + bureaus, Monsieur Rabourdin and Monsieur Baudoyer, were below on the + second floor, and beyond that of Monsieur Rabourdin were the antechamber, + salon, and two offices of Monsieur de la Billardiere. + </p> + <p> + On the first floor, divided in two by an entresol, were the living rooms + and office of Monsieur Ernest de la Briere, an occult and powerful + personage who must be described in a few words, for he well deserves the + parenthesis. This young man held, during the whole time that this + particular administration lasted, the position of private secretary to the + minister. His apartment was connected by a secret door with the private + office of his Excellency. A private secretary is to the minister himself + what des Lupeaulx was to the ministry at large. The same difference + existed between young La Briere and des Lupeaulx that there is between an + aide-de-camp and a chief of staff. This ministerial apprentice decamps + when his protector leaves office, returning sometimes when he returns. If + the minister enjoys the royal favor when he falls, or still has + parliamentary hopes, he takes his secretary with him into retirement only + to bring him back on his return; otherwise he puts him to grass in some of + the various administrative pastures,—for instance, in the Court of + Exchequer, that wayside refuge where private secretaries wait for the + storm to blow over. The young man is not precisely a government official; + he is a political character, however; and sometimes his politics are + limited to those of one man. When we think of the number of letters it is + the private secretary’s fate to open and read, besides all his other + avocations, it is very evident that under a monarchical government his + services would be well paid for. A drudge of this kind costs ten or twenty + thousand francs a year; and he enjoys, moreover, the opera-boxes, the + social invitations, and the carriages of the minister. The Emperor of + Russia would be thankful to be able to pay fifty thousand a year to one of + these amiable constitutional poodles, so gentle, so nicely curled, so + caressing, so docile, always spick and span,—careful watch-dogs + besides, and faithful to a degree! But the private secretary is a product + of the representative government hot-house; he is propagated and developed + there, and there only. Under a monarchy you will find none but courtiers + and vassals, whereas under a constitutional government you may be + flattered, served, and adulated by free men. In France ministers are + better off than kings or women; they have some one who thoroughly + understands them. Perhaps, indeed, the private secretary is to be pitied + as much as women and white paper. They are nonentities who are made to + bear all things. They are allowed no talents except hidden ones, which + must be employed in the service of their ministers. A public show of + talent would ruin them. The private secretary is therefore an intimate + friend in the gift of government—However, let us return to the + bureaus. + </p> + <p> + Three men-servants lived in peace in the Billardiere division, to wit: a + footman for the two bureaus, another for the service of the two chiefs, + and a third for the director of the division himself. All three were + lodged, warmed, and clothed by the State, and wore the well-known livery + of the State, blue coat with red pipings for undress, and broad red, + white, and blue braid for great occasions. La Billardiere’s man had the + air of a gentleman-usher, an innovation which gave an aspect of dignity to + the division. + </p> + <p> + Pillars of the ministry, experts in all manners and customs bureaucratic, + well-warmed and clothed at the State’s expense, growing rich by reason of + their few wants, these lackeys saw completely through the government + officials, collectively and individually. They had no better way of + amusing their idle hours than by observing these personages and studying + their peculiarities. They knew how far to trust the clerks with loans of + money, doing their various commissions with absolute discretion; they + pawned and took out of pawn, bought up bills when due, and lent money + without interest, albeit no clerk ever borrowed of them without returning + a “gratification.” These servants without a master received a salary of + nine hundred francs a year; new years’ gifts and “gratifications” brought + their emoluments to twelve hundred francs, and they made almost as much + money by serving breakfasts to the clerks at the office. + </p> + <p> + The elder of these men, who was also the richest, waited upon the main + body of the clerks. He was sixty years of age, with white hair cropped + short like a brush; stout, thickset, and apoplectic about the neck, with a + vulgar pimpled face, gray eyes, and a mouth like a furnace door; such was + the profile portrait of Antoine, the oldest attendant in the ministry. He + had brought his two nephews, Laurent and Gabriel, from Echelles in Savoie,—one + to serve the heads of the bureaus, the other the director himself. All + three came to open the offices and clean them, between seven and eight + o’clock in the morning; at which time they read the newspapers and talked + civil service politics from their point of view with the servants of other + divisions, exchanging the bureaucratic gossip. In common with servants of + modern houses who know their masters’ private affairs thoroughly, they + lived at the ministry like spiders at the centre of a web, where they felt + the slightest jar of the fabric. + </p> + <p> + On a Thursday evening, the day after the ministerial reception and Madame + Rabourdin’s evening party, just as Antoine was trimming his beard and his + nephews were assisting him in the antechamber of the division on the upper + floor, they were surprised by the unexpected arrival of one of the clerks. + </p> + <p> + “That’s Monsieur Dutocq,” said Antoine. “I know him by that pickpocket + step of his. He is always moving round on the sly, that man. He is on your + back before you know it. Yesterday, contrary to his usual ways, he + outstayed the last man in the office; such a thing hasn’t happened three + times since he has been at the ministry.” + </p> + <p> + Here follows the portrait of Monsieur Dutocq, order-clerk in the Rabourdin + bureau: Thirty-eight years old, oblong face and bilious skin, grizzled + hair always cut close, low forehead, heavy eyebrows meeting together, a + crooked nose and pinched lips; tall, the right shoulder slightly higher + than the left; brown coat, black waistcoat, silk cravat, yellowish + trousers, black woollen stockings, and shoes with flapping bows; thus you + behold him. Idle and incapable, he hated Rabourdin,—naturally + enough, for Rabourdin had no vice to flatter, and no bad or weak side on + which Dutocq could make himself useful. Far too noble to injure a clerk, + the chief was also too clear-sighted to be deceived by any make-believe. + Dutocq kept his place therefore solely through Rabourdin’s generosity, and + was very certain that he could never be promoted if the latter succeeded + La Billardiere. Though he knew himself incapable of important work, Dutocq + was well aware that in a government office incapacity was no hindrance to + advancement; La Billardiere’s own appointment over the head of so capable + a man as Rabourdin had been a striking and fatal example of this. + Wickedness combined with self-interest works with a power equivalent to + that of intellect; evilly disposed and wholly self-interested, Dutocq had + endeavoured to strengthen his position by becoming a spy in all the + offices. After 1816 he assumed a marked religious tone, foreseeing the + favor which the fools of those days would bestow on those they + indiscriminately called Jesuits. Belonging to that fraternity in spirit, + though not admitted to its rites, Dutocq went from bureau to bureau, + sounded consciences by recounting immoral jests, and then reported and + paraphrased results to des Lupeaulx; the latter thus learned all the + trivial events of the ministry, and often surprised the minister by his + consummate knowledge of what was going on. He tolerated Dutocq under the + idea that circumstances might some day make him useful, were it only to + get him or some distinguished friend of his out of a scrape by a + disgraceful marriage. The two understood each other well. Dutocq had + succeeded Monsieur Poiret the elder, who had retired in 1814, and now + lived in the pension Vanquer in the Latin quarter. Dutocq himself lived in + a pension in the rue de Beaune, and spent his evenings in the + Palais-Royal, sometimes going to the theatre, thanks to du Bruel, who gave + him an author’s ticket about once a week. And now, a word on du Bruel. + </p> + <p> + Though Sebastien did his work at the office for the small compensation we + have mentioned, du Bruel was in the habit of coming there to advertise the + fact that he was the under-head-clerk and to draw his salary. His real + work was that of dramatic critic to a leading ministerial journal, in + which he also wrote articles inspired by the ministers,—a very well + understood, clearly defined, and quite unassailable position. Du Bruel was + not lacking in those diplomatic little tricks which go so far to + conciliate general good-will. He sent Madame Rabourdin an opera-box for a + first representation, took her there in a carriage and brought her back,—an + attention which evidently pleased her. Rabourdin, who was never exacting + with his subordinates allowed du Bruel to go off to rehearsals, come to + the office at his own hours, and work at his vaudevilles when there. + Monsieur le Duc de Chaulieu, the minister, knew that du Bruel was writing + a novel which was to be dedicated to himself. Dressed with the careless + ease of a theatre man, du Bruel wore, in the morning, trousers strapped + under his feet, shoes with gaiters, a waistcoat evidently vamped over, an + olive surtout, and a black cravat. At night he played the gentleman in + elegant clothes. He lived, for good reasons, in the same house as Florine, + an actress for whom he wrote plays. Du Bruel, or to give him his pen name, + Cursy, was working just now at a piece in five acts for the Francais. + Sebastien was devoted to the author,—who occasionally gave him + tickets to the pit,—and applauded his pieces at the parts which du + Bruel told him were of doubtful interest, with all the faith and + enthusiasm of his years. In fact, the youth looked upon the playwright as + a great author, and it was to Sebastien that du Bruel said, the day after + a first representation of a vaudeville produced, like all vaudevilles, by + three collaborators, “The audience preferred the scenes written by two.” + </p> + <p> + “Why don’t you write alone?” asked Sebastien naively. + </p> + <p> + There were good reasons why du Bruel did not write alone. He was the third + of an author. A dramatic writer, as few people know, is made up of three + individuals; first, the man with brains who invents the subject and maps + out the structure, or scenario, of the vaudeville; second, the plodder, + who works the piece into shape; and third, the toucher-up, who sets the + songs to music, arranges the chorus and concerted pieces and fits them + into their right place, and finally writes the puffs and advertisements. + Du Bruel was a plodder; at the office he read the newest books, extracted + their wit, and laid it by for use in his dialogues. He was liked by his + collaborators on account of his carefulness; the man with brains, sure of + being understood, could cross his arms and feel that his ideas would be + well rendered. The clerks in the office liked their companion well enough + to attend a first performance of his plays in a body and applaud them, for + he really deserved the title of a good fellow. His hand went readily to + his pocket; ices and punch were bestowed without prodding, and he loaned + fifty francs without asking them back. He owned a country-house at Aulnay, + laid by his money, and had, besides the four thousand five hundred francs + of his salary under government, twelve hundred francs pension from the + civil list, and eight hundred from the three hundred thousand francs fund + voted by the Chambers for encouragement of the Arts. Add to these diverse + emoluments nine thousand francs earned by his quarters, thirds, and halves + of plays in three different theatres, and you will readily understand that + such a man must be physically round, fat, and comfortable, with the face + of a worthy capitalist. As to morals, he was the lover and the beloved of + Tullia and felt himself preferred in heart to the brilliant Duc de + Rhetore, the lover in chief. + </p> + <p> + Dutocq had seen with great uneasiness what he called the liaison of des + Lupeaulx with Madame Rabourdin, and his silent wrath on the subject was + accumulating. He had too prying an eye not to have guessed that Rabourdin + was engaged in some great work outside of his official labors, and he was + provoked to feel that he knew nothing about it, whereas that little + Sebastien was, wholly or in part, in the secret. Dutocq was intimate with + Godard, under-head-clerk to Baudoyer, and the high esteem in which Dutocq + held Baudoyer was the original cause of his acquaintance with Godard; not + that Dutocq was sincere even in this; but by praising Baudoyer and saying + nothing of Rabourdin he satisfied his hatred after the fashion of little + minds. + </p> + <p> + Joseph Godard, a cousin of Mitral on the mother’s side, made pretension to + the hand of Mademoiselle Baudoyer, not perceiving that her mother was + laying siege to Falliex as a son-in-law. He brought little gifts to the + young lady, artificial flowers, bonbons on New-Year’s day and pretty boxes + for her birthday. Twenty-six years of age, a worker working without + purpose, steady as a girl, monotonous and apathetic, holding cafes, + cigars, and horsemanship in detestation, going to bed regularly at ten + o’clock and rising at seven, gifted with some social talents, such as + playing quadrille music on the flute, which first brought him into favor + with the Saillards and the Baudoyers. He was moreover a fifer in the + National Guard,—to escape his turn of sitting up all night in a + barrack-room. Godard was devoted more especially to natural history. He + made collections of shells and minerals, knew how to stuff birds, kept a + mass of curiosities bought for nothing in his bedroom; took possession of + phials and empty perfume bottles for his specimens; pinned butterflies and + beetles under glass, hung Chinese parasols on the walls, together with + dried fishskins. He lived with his sister, an artificial-flower maker, in + the due de Richelieu. Though much admired by mammas this model young man + was looked down upon by his sister’s shop-girls, who had tried to inveigle + him. Slim and lean, of medium height, with dark circles round his eyes, + Joseph Godard took little care of his person; his clothes were ill-cut, + his trousers bagged, he wore white stockings at all seasons of the year, a + hat with a narrow brim and laced shoes. He was always complaining of his + digestion. His principal vice was a mania for proposing rural parties + during the summer season, excursions to Montmorency, picnics on the grass, + and visits to creameries on the boulevard du Mont-Parnasse. For the last + six months Dutocq had taken to visiting Mademoiselle Godard from time to + time, with certain views of his own, hoping to discover in her + establishment some female treasure. + </p> + <p> + Thus Baudoyer had a pair of henchmen in Dutocq and Godard. Monsieur + Saillard, too innocent to judge rightly of Dutocq, was in the habit of + paying him frequent little visits at the office. Young La Billardiere, the + director’s son, placed as supernumerary with Baudoyer, made another member + of the clique. The clever heads in the offices laughed much at this + alliance of incapables. Bixiou named Baudoyer, Godard, and Dutocq a + “Trinity without the Spirit,” and little La Billardiere the “Pascal Lamb.” + </p> + <p> + “You are early this morning,” said Antoine to Dutocq, laughing. + </p> + <p> + “So are you, Antoine,” answered Dutocq; “you see, the newspapers do come + earlier than you let us have them at the office.” + </p> + <p> + “They did to-day, by chance,” replied Antoine, not disconcerted; “they + never come two days together at the same hour.” + </p> + <p> + The two nephews looked at each other as if to say, in admiration of their + uncle, “What cheek he has!” + </p> + <p> + “Though I make two sous by all his breakfasts,” muttered Antoine, as he + heard Monsieur Dutocq close the office door, “I’d give them up to get that + man out of our division.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, Monsieur Sebastien, you are not the first here to-day,” said Antoine, + a quarter of an hour later, to the supernumerary. + </p> + <p> + “Who is here?” asked the poor lad, turning pale. + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur Dutocq,” answered Laurent. + </p> + <p> + Virgin natures have, beyond all others, the inexplicable gift of + second-sight, the reason of which lies perhaps in the purity of their + nervous systems, which are, as it were, brand-new. Sebastien had long + guessed Dutocq’s hatred to his revered Rabourdin. So that when Laurent + uttered his name a dreadful presentiment took possession of the lad’s + mind, and crying out, “I feared it!” he flew like an arrow into the + corridor. + </p> + <p> + “There is going to be a row in the division,” said Antoine, shaking his + white head as he put on his livery. “It is very certain that Monsieur le + baron is off to his account. Yes, Madame Gruget, the nurse, told me he + couldn’t live through the day. What a stir there’ll be! oh! won’t there! + Go along, you fellows, and see if the stoves are drawing properly. Heavens + and earth! our world is coming down about our ears.” + </p> + <p> + “That poor young one,” said Laurent, “had a sort of sunstroke when he + heard that Jesuit of a Dutocq had got here before him.” + </p> + <p> + “I have told him a dozen times,—for after all one ought to tell the + truth to an honest clerk, and what I call an honest clerk is one like that + little fellow who gives us ‘recta’ his ten francs on New-Year’s day,—I + have said to him again and again: The more you work the more they’ll make + you work, and they won’t promote you. He doesn’t listen to me; he tires + himself out staying here till five o’clock, an hour after all the others + have gone. Folly! he’ll never get on that way! The proof is that not a + word has been said about giving him an appointment, though he has been + here two years. It’s a shame! it makes my blood boil.” + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur Rabourdin is very fond of Monsieur Sebastien,” said Laurent. + </p> + <p> + “But Monsieur Rabourdin isn’t a minister,” retorted Antoine; “it will be a + hot day when that happens, and the hens will have teeth; he is too—but + mum! When I think that I carry salaries to those humbugs who stay away and + do as they please, while that poor little La Roche works himself to death, + I ask myself if God ever thinks of the civil service. And what do they + give you, these pets of Monsieur le marechal and Monsieur le duc? ‘Thank + you, my dear Antoine, thank you,’ with a gracious nod! Pack of sluggards! + go to work, or you’ll bring another revolution about your ears. Didn’t see + such goings-on under Monsieur Robert Lindet. I know, for I served my + apprenticeship under Robert Lindet. The clerks had to work in his day! You + ought to have seen how they scratched paper here till midnight; why, the + stoves went out and nobody noticed it. It was all because the guillotine + was there! now-a-days they only mark ‘em when they come in late!” + </p> + <p> + “Uncle Antoine,” said Gabriel, “as you are so talkative this morning, just + tell us what you think a clerk really ought to be.” + </p> + <p> + “A government clerk,” replied Antoine, gravely, “is a man who sits in a + government office and writes. But there, there, what am I talking about? + Without the clerks, where should we be, I’d like to know? Go along and + look after your stoves and mind you never say harm of a government clerk, + you fellows. Gabriel, the stove in the large office draws like the devil; + you must turn the damper.” + </p> + <p> + Antoine stationed himself at a corner of the landing whence he could see + all the officials as they entered the porte-cochere; he knew every one at + the ministry, and watched their behavior, observing narrowly the contrasts + in their dress and appearance. + </p> + <p> + The first to arrive after Sebastien was a clerk of deeds in Rabourdin’s + office named Phellion, a respectable family-man. To the influence of his + chief he owed a half-scholarship for each of his two sons in the College + Henri IV.; while his daughter was being educated gratis at a boarding + school where his wife gave music lessons and he himself a course of + history and one of geography in the evenings. He was about forty-five + years of age, sergeant-major of his company in the National Guard, very + compassionate in feeling and words, but wholly unable to give away a + penny. Proud of his post, however, and satisfied with his lot, he applied + himself faithfully to serve the government, believed he was useful to his + country, and boasted of his indifference to politics, knowing none but + those of the men in power. Monsieur Rabourdin pleased him highly whenever + he asked him to stay half an hour longer to finish a piece of work. On + such occasions he would say, when he reached home, “Public affairs + detained me; when a man belongs to the government he is no longer master + of himself.” He compiled books of questions and answers on various studies + for the use of young ladies in boarding-schools. These little “solid + treatises,” as he called them, were sold at the University library under + the name of “Historical and Geographic Catechisms.” Feeling himself in + duty bound to offer a copy of each volume, bound in red morocco, to + Monsieur Rabourdin, he always came in full dress to present them,—breeches + and silk stockings, and shoes with gold buckles. Monsieur Phellion + received his friends on Thursday evenings, on which occasions the company + played bouillote, at five sous a game, and were regaled with cakes and + beer. He had never yet dared to invite Monsieur Rabourdin to honor him + with his presence, though he would have regarded such an event as the most + distinguished of his life. He said if he could leave one of his sons + following in the steps of Monsieur Rabourdin he should die the happiest + father in the world. + </p> + <p> + One of his greatest pleasures was to explore the environs of Paris, which + he did with a map. He knew every inch of Arcueil, Bievre, + Fontenay-aux-Roses, and Aulnay, so famous as the resort of great writers, + and hoped in time to know the whole western side of the country around + Paris. He intended to put his eldest son into a government office and his + second into the Ecole Polytechnique. He often said to the elder, “When you + have the honor to be a government clerk”; though he suspected him of a + preference for the exact sciences and did his best to repress it, mentally + resolved to abandon the lad to his own devices if he persisted. When + Rabourdin sent for him to come down and receive instructions about some + particular piece of work, Phellion gave all his mind to it,—listening + to every word the chief said, as a dilettante listens to an air at the + Opera. Silent in the office, with his feet in the air resting on a wooden + desk, and never moving them, he studied his task conscientiously. His + official letters were written with the utmost gravity, and transmitted the + commands of the minister in solemn phrases. Monsieur Phellion’s face was + that of a pensive ram, with little color and pitted by the small-pox; the + lips were thick and the lower one pendent; the eyes light-blue, and his + figure above the common height. Neat and clean as a master of history and + geography in a young ladies’ school ought to be, he wore fine linen, a + pleated shirt-frill, a black cashmere waistcoat, left open and showing a + pair of braces embroidered by his daughter, a diamond in the bosom of his + shirt, a black coat, and blue trousers. In winter he added a nut-colored + box-coat with three capes, and carried a loaded stick, necessitated, he + said, by the profound solitude of the quarter in which he lived. He had + given up taking snuff, and referred to this reform as a striking example + of the empire a man could exercise over himself. Monsieur Phellion came + slowly up the stairs, for he was afraid of asthma, having what he called + an “adipose chest.” He saluted Antoine with dignity. + </p> + <p> + The next to follow was a copying-clerk, who presented a strange contrast + to the virtuous Phellion. Vimeux was a young man of twenty-five, with a + salary of fifteen hundred francs, well-made and graceful, with a romantic + face, and eyes, hair, beard, and eyebrows as black as jet, fine teeth, + charming hands, and wearing a moustache so carefully trimmed that he + seemed to have made it the business and occupation of his life. Vimeux had + such aptitude for work that he despatched it much quicker than any of the + other clerks. “He has a gift, that young man!” Phellion said of him when + he saw him cross his legs and have nothing to do for the rest of the day, + having got through his appointed task; “and see what a little dandy he + is!” Vimeux breakfasted on a roll and a glass of water, dined for twenty + sous at Katcomb’s, and lodged in a furnished room, for which he paid + twelve francs a month. His happiness, his sole pleasure in life, was + dress. He ruined himself in miraculous waistcoats, in trousers that were + tight, half-tight, pleated, or embroidered; in superfine boots, well-made + coats which outlined his elegant figure; in bewitching collars, spotless + gloves, and immaculate hats. A ring with a coat of arms adorned his hand, + outside his glove, from which dangled a handsome cane; with these + accessories he endeavoured to assume the air and manner of a wealthy young + man. After the office closed he appeared in the great walk of the + Tuileries, with a tooth-pick in his mouth, as though he were a millionaire + who had just dined. Always on the lookout for a woman,—an + Englishwoman, a foreigner of some kind, or a widow,—who might fall + in love with him, he practised the art of twirling his cane and of + flinging the sort of glance which Bixiou told him was American. He smiled + to show his fine teeth; he wore no socks under his boots, but he had his + hair curled every day. Vimeux was prepared, in accordance with fixed + principles, to marry a hunch-back with six thousand a year, or a woman of + forty-five at eight thousand, or an Englishwoman for half that sum. + Phellion, who delighted in his neat hand-writing, and was full of + compassion for the fellow, read him lectures on the duty of giving lessons + in penmanship,—an honorable career, he said, which would ameliorate + existence and even render it agreeable; he promised him a situation in a + young ladies’ boarding-school. But Vimeux’s head was so full of his own + idea that no human being could prevent him from having faith in his star. + He continued to lay himself out, like a salmon at a fishmonger’s, in spite + of his empty stomach and the fact that he had fruitlessly exhibited his + enormous moustache and his fine clothes for over three years. As he owed + Antoine more than thirty francs for his breakfasts, he lowered his eyes + every time he passed him; and yet he never failed at midday to ask the man + to buy him a roll. + </p> + <p> + After trying to get a few reasonable ideas into this foolish head, + Rabourdin had finally given up the attempt as hopeless. Adolphe (his + family name was Adolphe) had lately economized on dinners and lived + entirely on bread and water, to buy a pair of spurs and a riding-whip. + Jokes at the expense of this starving Amadis were made only in the spirit + of mischievous fun which creates vaudevilles, for he was really a + kind-hearted fellow and a good comrade, who harmed no one but himself. A + standing joke in the two bureaus was the question whether he wore corsets, + and bets depended on it. Vimeux was originally appointed to Baudoyer’s + bureau, but he manoeuvred to get himself transferred to Rabourdin’s, on + account of Baudoyer’s extreme severity in relation to what were called + “the English,”—a name given by the government clerks to their + creditors. “English day” means the day on which the government offices are + thrown open to the public. Certain then of finding their delinquent + debtors, the creditors swarm in and torment them, asking when they intend + to pay, and threatening to attach their salaries. The implacable Baudoyer + compelled the clerks to remain at their desks and endure this torture. “It + was their place not to make debts,” he said; and he considered his + severity as a duty which he owed to the public weal. Rabourdin, on the + contrary, protected the clerks against their creditors, and turned the + latter away, saying that the government bureaus were open for public + business, not private. Much ridicule pursued Vimeux in both bureaus when + the clank of his spurs resounded in the corridors and on the staircases. + The wag of the ministry, Bixiou, sent round a paper, headed by a + caricature of his victim on a pasteboard horse, asking for subscriptions + to buy him a live charger. Monsieur Baudoyer was down for a bale of hay + taken from his own forage allowance, and each of the clerks wrote his + little epigram; Vimeux himself, good-natured fellow that he was, + subscribed under the name of “Miss Fairfax.” + </p> + <p> + Handsome clerks of the Vimeux style have their salaries on which to live, + and their good looks by which to make their fortune. Devoted to masked + balls during the carnival, they seek their luck there, though it often + escapes them. Many end the weary round by marrying milliners, or old + women,—sometimes, however, young ones who are charmed with their + handsome persons, and with whom they set up a romance illustrated with + stupid love letters, which, nevertheless, seem to answer their purpose. + </p> + <p> + Bixiou (pronounce it Bisiou) was a draughtsman, who ridiculed Dutocq as + readily as he did Rabourdin, whom he nicknamed “the virtuous woman.” + Without doubt the cleverest man in the division or even in the ministry + (but clever after the fashion of a monkey, without aim or sequence), + Bixiou was so essentially useful to Baudoyer and Godard that they upheld + and protected him in spite of his misconduct; for he did their work when + they were incapable of doing it for themselves. Bixiou wanted either + Godard’s or du Bruel’s place as under-head-clerk, but his conduct + interfered with his promotion. Sometimes he sneered at the public service; + this was usually after he had made some happy hit, such as the publication + of portraits in the famous Fualdes case (for which he drew faces + hap-hazard), or his sketch of the debate on the Castaing affair. At other + times, when possessed with a desire to get on, he really applied himself + to work, though he would soon leave off to write a vaudeville, which was + never finished. A thorough egoist, a spendthrift and a miser in one,—that + is to say, spending his money solely on himself,—sharp, aggressive, + and indiscreet, he did mischief for mischief’s sake; above all, he + attacked the weak, respected nothing and believed in nothing, neither in + France, nor in God, nor in art, nor in the Greeks, nor in the Turks, nor + in the monarchy,—insulting and disparaging everything that he could + not comprehend. He was the first to paint a black cap on Charles X.‘s head + on the five-franc coins. He mimicked Dr. Gall when lecturing, till he made + the most starched of diplomatists burst their buttons. Famous for his + practical jokes, he varied them with such elaborate care that he always + obtained a victim. His great secret in this was the power of guessing the + inmost wishes of others; he knew the way to many a castle in the air, to + the dreams about which a man may be fooled because he wants to be; and he + made such men sit to him for hours. + </p> + <p> + Thus it happened that this close observer, who could display unrivalled + tact in developing a joke or driving home a sarcasm, was unable to use the + same power to make men further his fortunes and promote him. The person he + most liked to annoy was young La Billardiere, his nightmare, his + detestation, whom he was nevertheless constantly wheedling so as the + better to torment him on his weakest side. He wrote him love letters + signed “Comtesse de M——” or “Marquise de B—“; took him + to the Opera on gala days and presented him to some grisette under the + clock, after calling everybody’s attention to the young fool. He allied + himself with Dutocq (whom he regarded as a solemn juggler) in his hatred + to Rabourdin and his praise of Baudoyer, and did his best to support him. + Jean-Jaques Bixiou was the grandson of a Parisian grocer. His father, who + died a colonel, left him to the care of his grandmother, who married her + head-clerk, named Descoings, after the death of her first husband, and + died in 1822. Finding himself without prospects on leaving college, he + attempted painting, but in spite of his intimacy with Joseph Bridau, his + life-long friend, he abandoned art to take up caricature, vignette + designing, and drawing for books, which twenty years later went by the + name of “illustration.” The influence of the Ducs de Maufrigneuse and de + Rhetore, whom he knew in the society of actresses, procured him his + employment under government in 1819. On good terms with des Lupeaulx, with + whom in society he stood on an equality, and intimate with du Bruel, he + was a living proof of Rabourdin’s theory as to the steady deterioration of + the administrative hierarchy in Paris through the personal importance + which a government official may acquire outside of a government office. + Short in stature but well-formed, with a delicate face remarkable for its + vague likeness to Napoleon’s, thin lips, a straight chin, chestnut + whiskers, twenty-seven years old, fair-skinned, with a piercing voice and + sparkling eye,—such was Bixiou; a man, all sense and all wit, who + abandoned himself to a mad pursuit of pleasure of every description, which + threw him into a constant round of dissipation. Hunter of grisettes, + smoker, jester, diner-out and frequenter of supper-parties, always tuned + to the highest pitch, shining equally in the greenroom and at the balls + given among the grisettes of the Allee des Veuves, he was just as + surprisingly entertaining at table as at a picnic, as gay and lively at + midnight on the streets as in the morning when he jumped out of bed, and + yet at heart gloomy and melancholy, like most of the great comic players. + </p> + <p> + Launched into the world of actors and actresses, writers, artists, and + certain women of uncertain means, he lived well, went to the theatre + without paying, gambled at Frascati, and often won. Artist by nature and + really profound, though by flashes only, he swayed to and fro in life like + a swing, without thinking or caring of a time when the cord would break. + The liveliness of his wit and the prodigal flow of his ideas made him + acceptable to all persons who took pleasure in the lights of intellect; + but none of his friends liked him. Incapable of checking a witty saying, + he would scarify his two neighbors before a dinner was half over. In spite + of his skin-deep gayety, a secret dissatisfaction with his social position + could be detected in his speech; he aspired to something better, but the + fatal demon hiding in his wit hindered him from acquiring the gravity + which imposes on fools. He lived on the second floor of a house in the rue + de Ponthieu, where he had three rooms delivered over to the untidiness of + a bachelor’s establishment, in fact, a regular bivouac. He often talked of + leaving France and seeking his fortune in America. No wizard could + foretell the future of this young man in whom all talents were incomplete; + who was incapable of perseverance, intoxicated with pleasure, and who + acted on the belief that the world ended on the morrow. + </p> + <p> + In the matter of dress Bixiou had the merit of never being ridiculous; he + was perhaps the only official of the ministry whose dress did not lead + outsiders to say, “That man is a government clerk!” He wore elegant boots + with black trousers strapped under them, a fancy waistcoat, a becoming + blue coat, collars that were the never-ending gift of grisettes, one of + Bandoni’s hats, and a pair of dark-colored kid gloves. His walk and + bearing, cavalier and simple both, were not without grace. He knew all + this, and when des Lupeaulx summoned him for a piece of impertinence said + and done about Monsieur de la Billardiere and threatened him with + dismissal, Bixiou replied, “You will take me back because my clothes do + credit to the ministry”; and des Lupeaulx, unable to keep from laughing, + let the matter pass. The most harmless of Bixiou’s jokes perpetrated among + the clerks was the one he played off upon Godard, presenting him with a + butterfly just brought from China, which the worthy man keeps in his + collection and exhibits to this day, blissfully unconscious that it is + only painted paper. Bixiou had the patience to work up the little + masterpiece for the sole purpose of hoaxing his superior. + </p> + <p> + The devil always puts a martyr near a Bixiou. Baudoyer’s bureau held the + martyr, a poor copying-clerk twenty-two years of age, with a salary of + fifteen hundred francs, named Auguste-Jean-Francois Minard. Minard had + married for love the daughter of a porter, an artificial-flower maker + employed by Mademoiselle Godard. Zelie Lorrain, a pupil, in the first + place, of the Conservatoire, then by turns a danseuse, a singer, and an + actress, had thought of doing as so many of the working-women do; but the + fear of consequences kept her from vice. She was floating undecidedly + along, when Minard appeared upon the scene with a definite proposal of + marriage. Zelie earned five hundred francs a year, Minard had fifteen + hundred. Believing that they could live on two thousand, they married + without settlements, and started with the utmost economy. They went to + live, like dove-turtles, near the barriere de Courcelles, in a little + apartment at three hundred francs a year, with white cotton curtains to + the windows, a Scotch paper costing fifteen sous a roll on the walls, + brick floors well polished, walnut furniture in the parlor, and a tiny + kitchen that was very clean. Zelie nursed her children herself when they + came, cooked, made her flowers, and kept the house. There was something + very touching in this happy and laborious mediocrity. Feeling that Minard + truly loved her, Zelie loved him. Love begets love,—it is the + abyssus abyssum of the Bible. The poor man left his bed in the morning + before his wife was up, that he might fetch provisions. He carried the + flowers she had finished, on his way to the bureau, and bought her + materials on his way back; then, while waiting for dinner, he stamped out + her leaves, trimmed the twigs, or rubbed her colors. Small, slim, and + wiry, with crisp red hair, eyes of a light yellow, a skin of dazzling + fairness, though blotched with red, the man had a sturdy courage that made + no show. He knew the science of writing quite as well as Vimeux. At the + office he kept in the background, doing his allotted task with the + collected air of a man who thinks and suffers. His white eyelashes and + lack of eyebrows induced the relentless Bixiou to name him “the white + rabbit.” Minard—the Rabourdin of a lower sphere—was filled + with the desire of placing his Zelie in better circumstances, and his mind + searched the ocean of the wants of luxury in hopes of finding an idea, of + making some discovery or some improvement which would bring him a rapid + fortune. His apparent dulness was really caused by the continual tension + of his mind; he went over the history of Cephalic Oils and the Paste of + Sultans, lucifer matches and portable gas, jointed sockets for hydrostatic + lamps,—in short, all the infinitely little inventions of material + civilization which pay so well. He bore Bixiou’s jests as a busy man bears + the buzzing of an insect; he was not even annoyed by them. In spite of his + cleverness, Bixiou never perceived the profound contempt which Minard felt + for him. Minard never dreamed of quarrelling, however,—regarding it + as a loss of time. After a while his composure tired out his tormentor. He + always breakfasted with his wife, and ate nothing at the office. Once a + month he took Zelie to the theatre, with tickets bestowed by du Bruel or + Bixiou; for Bixiou was capable of anything, even of doing a kindness. + Monsieur and Madame Minard paid their visits in person on New-Year’s day. + Those who saw them often asked how it was that a woman could keep her + husband in good clothes, wear a Leghorn bonnet with flowers, embroidered + muslin dresses, silk mantles, prunella boots, handsome fichus, a Chinese + parasol, and drive home in a hackney-coach, and yet be virtuous; while + Madame Colleville and other “ladies” of her kind could scarcely make ends + meet, though they had double Madame Minard’s means. + </p> + <p> + In the two bureaus were two clerks so devoted to each other that their + friendship became the butt of all the rest. He of the bureau Baudoyer, + named Colleville, was chief-clerk, and would have been head of the bureau + long before if the Restoration had never happened. His wife was as clever + in her way as Madame Rabourdin in hers. Colleville, who was son of a first + violin at the opera, fell in love with the daughter of a celebrated + danseuse. Flavie Minoret, one of those capable and charming Parisian women + who know how to make their husbands happy and yet preserve their own + liberty, made the Colleville home a rendezvous for all our best artists + and orators. Colleville’s humble position under government was forgotten + there. Flavie’s conduct gave such food for gossip, however, that Madame + Rabourdin had declined all her invitations. The friend in Rabourdin’s + bureau to whom Colleville was so attached was named Thuillier. All who + knew one knew the other. Thuillier, called “the handsome Thuillier,” an + ex-Lothario, led as idle a life as Colleville led a busy one. Colleville, + government official in the mornings and first clarionet at the + Opera-Comique at night, worked hard to maintain his family, though he was + not without influential friends. He was looked upon as a very shrewd man,—all + the more, perhaps, because he hid his ambitions under a show of + indifference. Apparently content with his lot and liking work, he found + every one, even the chiefs, ready to protect his brave career. During the + last few weeks Madame Colleville had made an evident change in the + household, and seemed to be taking to piety. This gave rise to a vague + report in the bureaus that she thought of securing some more powerful + influence than that of Francois Keller, the famous orator, who had been + one of her chief adorers, but who, so far, had failed to obtain a better + place for her husband. Flavie had, about this time—and it was one of + her mistakes—turned for help to des Lupeaulx. + </p> + <p> + Colleville had a passion for reading the horoscopes of famous men in the + anagram of their names. He passed whole months in decomposing and + recomposing words and fitting them to new meanings. “Un Corse la finira,” + found within the words, “Revolution Francaise”; “Eh, c’est large nez,” in + “Charles Genest,” an abbe at the court of Louis XIV., whose huge nose is + recorded by Saint-Simon as the delight of the Duc de Bourgogne (the + exigencies of this last anagram required the substitution of a z for an + s),—were a never-ending marvel to Colleville. Raising the anagram to + the height of a science, he declared that the destiny of every man was + written in the words or phrase given by the transposition of the letters + of his names and titles; and his patriotism struggled hard to suppress the + fact—signal evidence for his theory—that in Horatio Nelson, + “honor est a Nilo.” Ever since the accession of Charles X., he had + bestowed much thought on the king’s anagram. Thuillier, who was fond of + making puns, declared that an anagram was nothing more than a pun on + letters. The sight of Colleville, a man of real feeling, bound almost + indissolubly to Thuillier, the model of an egoist, presented a difficult + problem to the mind of an observer. The clerks in the offices explained it + by saying, “Thuillier is rich, and the Colleville household costly.” This + friendship, however, consolidated by time, was based on feelings and on + facts which naturally explained it; an account of which may be found + elsewhere (see “Les Petits Bourgeois”). We may remark in passing that + though Madame Colleville was well known in the bureaus, the existence of + Madame Thuillier was almost unknown there. Colleville, an active man, + burdened with a family of children, was fat, round, and jolly, whereas + Thuillier, “the beau of the Empire” without apparent anxieties and always + at leisure, was slender and thin, with a livid face and a melancholy air. + “We never know,” said Rabourdin, speaking of the two men, “whether our + friendships are born of likeness or of contrast.” + </p> + <p> + Unlike these Siamese twins, two other clerks, Chazelle and Paulmier, were + forever squabbling. One smoked, the other took snuff, and the merits of + their respective use of tobacco were the origin of ceaseless disputes. + Chazelle’s home, which was tyrannized over by a wife, furnished a subject + of endless ridicule to Paulmier; whereas Paulmier, a bachelor, often + half-starved like Vimeux, with ragged clothes and half-concealed penury + was a fruitful source of ridicule to Chazelle. Both were beginning to show + a protuberant stomach; Chazelle’s, which was round and projecting, had the + impertinence, so Bixiou said, to enter the room first; Paulmier’s + corporation spread to right and left. A favorite amusement with Bixiou was + to measure them quarterly. The two clerks, by dint of quarrelling over the + details of their lives, and washing much of their dirty linen at the + office, had obtained the disrepute which they merited. “Do you take me for + a Chazelle?” was a frequent saying that served to end many an annoying + discussion. + </p> + <p> + Monsieur Poiret junior, called “junior” to distinguish him from his + brother Monsieur Poiret senior (now living in the Maison Vanquer, where + Poiret junior sometimes dined, intending to end his days in the same + retreat), had spent thirty years in the Civil Service. Nature herself is + not so fixed and unvarying in her evolutions as was Poiret junior in all + the acts of his daily life; he always laid his things in precisely the + same place, put his pen in the same rack, sat down in his seat at the same + hour, warmed himself at the stove at the same moment of the day. His sole + vanity consisted in wearing an infallible watch, timed daily at the Hotel + de Ville as he passed it on his way to the office. From six to eight + o’clock in the morning he kept the books of a large shop in the rue + Saint-Antoine, and from six to eight o’clock in the evening those of the + Maison Camusot, in the rue des Bourdonnais. He thus earned three thousand + francs a year, counting his salary from the government. In a few months + his term of service would be up, when he would retire on a pension; he + therefore showed the utmost indifference to the political intrigues of the + bureaus. Like his elder brother, to whom retirement from active service + had proved a fatal blow, he would probably grow an old man when he could + no longer come from his home to the ministry, sit in the same chair and + copy a certain number of pages. Poiret’s eyes were dim, his glance weak + and lifeless, his skin discolored and wrinkled, gray in tone and speckled + with bluish dots; his nose flat, his lips drawn inward to the mouth, where + a few defective teeth still lingered. His gray hair, flattened to the head + by the pressure of his hat, gave him the look of an ecclesiastic,—a + resemblance he would scarcely have liked, for he hated priests and clergy, + though he could give no reasons for his anti-religious views. This + antipathy, however, did not prevent him from being extremely attached to + whatever administration happened to be in power. He never buttoned his old + green coat, even on the coldest days, and he always wore shoes with ties, + and black trousers. + </p> + <p> + No human life was ever lived so thoroughly by rule. Poiret kept all his + receipted bills, even the most trifling, and all his account-books, + wrapped in old shirts and put away according to their respective years + from the time of his entrance at the ministry. Rough copies of his letters + were dated and put away in a box, ticketed “My Correspondence.” He dined + at the same restaurant (the Sucking Calf in the place du Chatelet), and + sat in the same place, which the waiters kept for him. He never gave five + minutes more time to the shop in the rue Saint Antoine than justly + belonged to it, and at half-past eight precisely he reached the Cafe + David, where he breakfasted and remained till eleven. There he listened to + political discussions, his arms crossed on his cane, his chin in his right + hand, never saying a word. The dame du comptoir, the only woman to whom he + ever spoke with pleasure, was the sole confidant of the little events of + his life, for his seat was close to her counter. He played dominoes, the + only game he was capable of understanding. When his partners did not + happen to be present, he usually went to sleep with his back against the + wainscot, holding a newspaper in his hand, the wooden file resting on the + marble of his table. He was interested in the buildings going up in Paris, + and spent his Sundays in walking about to examine them. He was often heard + to say, “I saw the Louvre emerge from its rubbish; I saw the birth of the + place du Chatelet, the quai aux Fleurs and the Markets.” He and his + brother, both born at Troyes, were sent in youth to serve their + apprenticeship in a government office. Their mother made herself notorious + by misconduct, and the two brothers had the grief of hearing of her death + in the hospital at Troyes, although they had frequently sent money for her + support. This event led them both not only to abjure marriage, but to feel + a horror of children; ill at ease with them, they feared them as others + fear madmen, and watched them with haggard eyes. + </p> + <p> + Since the day when he first came to Paris Poiret junior had never gone + outside the city. He began at that time to keep a journal of his life, in + which he noted down all the striking events of his day. Du Bruel told him + that Lord Byron did the same thing. This likeness filled Poiret junior + with delight, and led him to buy the works of Lord Byron, translated by + Chastopalli, of which he did not understand a word. At the office he was + often seen in a melancholy attitude, as though absorbed in thought, when + in fact he was thinking of nothing at all. He did not know a single person + in the house where he lived, and always carried the keys of his apartment + about with him. On New-Year’s day he went round and left his own cards on + all the clerks of the division. Bixiou took it into his head on one of the + hottest of dog-days to put a layer of lard under the lining of a certain + old hat which Poiret junior (he was, by the bye, fifty-two years old) had + worn for the last nine years. Bixiou, who had never seen any other hat on + Poiret’s head, dreamed of it and declared he tasted it in his food; he + therefore resolved, in the interests of his digestion, to relieve the + bureau of the sight of that amorphous old hat. Poiret junior left the + office regularly at four o’clock. As he walked along, the sun’s rays + reflected from the pavements and walls produced a tropical heat; he felt + that his head was inundated,—he, who never perspired! Feeling that + he was ill, or on the point of being so, instead of going as usual to the + Sucking Calf he went home, drew out from his desk the journal of his life, + and recorded the fact in the following manner:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “To-day, July 3, 1823, overtaken by extraordinary perspiration, a + sign, perhaps, of the sweating-sickness, a malady which prevails + in Champagne. I am about to consult Doctor Haudry. The disease + first appeared as I reached the highest part of the quai des + Ecoles.” + </pre> + <p> + Suddenly, having taken off his hat, he became aware that the mysterious + sweat had some cause independent of his own person. He wiped his face, + examined the hat, and could find nothing, for he did not venture to take + out the lining. All this he noted in his journal:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Carried my hat to the Sieur Tournan, hat-maker in the rue + Saint-Martin, for the reason that I suspect some unknown cause for + this perspiration, which, in that case, might not be perspiration, + but, possibly, the effect of something lately added, or formerly + done, to my hat.” + </pre> + <p> + Monsieur Tournan at once informed his customer of the presence of a greasy + substance, obtained by the trying-out of the fat of a pig or sow. The next + day Poiret appeared at the office with another hat, lent by Monsieur + Tournan while a new one was making; but he did not sleep that night until + he had added the following sentence to the preceding entries in his + journal: “It is asserted that my hat contained lard, the fat of a pig.” + </p> + <p> + This inexplicable fact occupied the intellect of Poiret junior for the + space of two weeks; and he never knew how the phenomenon was produced. The + clerks told him tales of showers of frogs, and other dog-day wonders, also + the startling fact that an imprint of the head of Napoleon had been found + in the root of a young elm, with other eccentricities of natural history. + Vimeux informed him that one day his hat—his, Vimeux’s—had + stained his forehead black, and that hat-makers were in the habit of using + drugs. After that Poiret paid many visits to Monsieur Tournan to inquire + into his methods of manufacture. + </p> + <p> + In the Rabourdin bureau was a clerk who played the man of courage and + audacity, professed the opinions of the Left centre, and rebelled against + the tyrannies of Baudoyer as exercised upon what he called the unhappy + slaves of that office. His name was Fleury. He boldly subscribed to an + opposition newspaper, wore a gray hat with a broad brim, red bands on his + blue trousers, a blue waistcoat with gilt buttons, and a surtout coat + crossed over the breast like that of a quartermaster of gendarmerie. + Though unyielding in his opinions, he continued to be employed in the + service, all the while predicting a fatal end to a government which + persisted in upholding religion. He openly avowed his sympathy for + Napoleon, now that the death of that great man put an end to the laws + enacted against “the partisans of the usurper.” Fleury, ex-captain of a + regiment of the line under the Emperor, a tall, dark, handsome fellow, was + now, in addition to his civil-service post, box-keeper at the + Cirque-Olympique. Bixiou never ventured on tormenting Fleury, for the + rough trooper, who was a good shot and clever at fencing, seemed quite + capable of extreme brutality if provoked. An ardent subscriber to + “Victoires et Conquetes,” Fleury nevertheless refused to pay his + subscription, though he kept and read the copies, alleging that they + exceeded the number proposed in the prospectus. He adored Monsieur + Rabourdin, who had saved him from dismissal, and was even heard to say + that if any misfortune happened to the chief through anybody’s fault he + would kill that person. Dutocq meanly courted Fleury because he feared + him. Fleury, crippled with debt, played many a trick on his creditors. + Expert in legal matters, he never signed a promissory note; and had + prudently attached his own salary under the names of fictitious creditors, + so that he was able to draw nearly the whole of it himself. He played + ecarte, was the life of evening parties, tossed off glasses of champagne + without wetting his lips, and knew all the songs of Beranger by heart. He + was proud of his full, sonorous voice. His three great admirations were + Napoleon, Bolivar, and Beranger. Foy, Lafitte, and Casimir Delavigne he + only esteemed. Fleury, as you will have guessed already, was a Southerner, + destined, no doubt, to become the responsible editor of a liberal journal. + </p> + <p> + Desroys, the mysterious clerk of the division, consorted with no one, + talked little, and hid his private life so carefully that no one knew + where he lived, nor who were his protectors, nor what were his means of + subsistence. Looking about them for the causes of this reserve, some of + his colleagues thought him a “carbonaro,” others an Orleanist; there were + others again who doubted whether to call him a spy or a man of solid + merit. Desroys was, however, simple and solely the son of a + “Conventionel,” who did not vote the king’s death. Cold and prudent by + temperament, he had judged the world and ended by relying on no one but + himself. Republican in secret, an admirer of Paul-Louis Courier and a + friend of Michael Chrestien, he looked to time and public intelligence to + bring about the triumph of his opinions from end to end of Europe. He + dreamed of a new Germany and a new Italy. His heart swelled with that + dull, collective love which we must call humanitarianism, the eldest son + of deceased philanthropy, and which is to the divine catholic charity what + system is to art, or reasoning to deed. This conscientious puritan of + freedom, this apostle of an impossible equality, regretted keenly that his + poverty forced him to serve the government, and he made various efforts to + find a place elsewhere. Tall, lean, lanky, and solemn in appearance, like + a man who expects to be called some day to lay down his life for a cause, + he lived on a page of Volney, studied Saint-Just, and employed himself on + a vindication of Robespierre, whom he regarded as the successor of Jesus + Christ. + </p> + <p> + The last of the individuals belonging to these bureaus who merits a sketch + here is the little La Billardiere. Having, to his great misfortune, lost + his mother, and being under the protection of the minister, safe therefore + from the tyrannies of Baudoyer, and received in all the ministerial + salons, he was nevertheless detested by every one because of his + impertinence and conceit. The two chiefs were polite to him, but the + clerks held him at arm’s length and prevented all companionship by means + of the extreme and grotesque politeness which they bestowed upon him. A + pretty youth of twenty-two, tall and slender, with the manners of an + Englishman, a dandy in dress, curled and perfumed, gloved and booted in + the latest fashion, and twirling an eyeglass, Benjamin de la Billardiere + thought himself a charming fellow and possessed all the vices of the world + with none of its graces. He was now looking forward impatiently to the + death of his father, that he might succeed to the title of baron. His + cards were printed “le Chevalier de la Billardiere” and on the wall of his + office hung, in a frame, his coat of arms (sable, two swords in saltire, + on a chief azure three mullets argent; with the motto; “Toujours fidele”). + Possessed with a mania for talking heraldry, he once asked the young + Vicomte de Portenduere why his arms were charged in a certain way, and + drew down upon himself the happy answer, “I did not make them.” He talked + of his devotion to the monarchy and the attentions the Dauphine paid him. + He stood very well with des Lupeaulx, whom he thought his friend, and they + often breakfasted together. Bixiou posed as his mentor, and hoped to rid + the division and France of the young fool by tempting him to excesses, and + openly avowed that intention. + </p> + <p> + Such were the principal figures of La Billardiere’s division of the + ministry, where also were other clerks of less account, who resembled more + or less those that are represented here. It is difficult even for an + observer to decide from the aspect of these strange personalities whether + the goose-quill tribe were becoming idiots from the effects of their + employment or whether they entered the service because they were natural + born fools. Possibly the making of them lies at the door of Nature and of + the government both. Nature, to a civil-service clerk is, in fact, the + sphere of the office; his horizon is bounded on all sides by green boxes; + to him, atmospheric changes are the air of the corridors, the masculine + exhalations contained in rooms without ventilators, the odor of paper, + pens, and ink; the soil he treads is a tiled pavement or a wooden floor, + strewn with a curious litter and moistened by the attendant’s + watering-pot; his sky is the ceiling toward which he yawns; his element is + dust. Several distinguished doctors have remonstrated against the + influence of this second nature, both savage and civilized, on the moral + being vegetating in those dreadful pens called bureaus, where the sun + seldom penetrates, where thoughts are tied down to occupations like that + of horses who turn a crank and who, poor beasts, yawn distressingly and + die quickly. Rabourdin was, therefore, fully justified in seeking to + reform their present condition, by lessening their numbers and giving to + each a larger salary and far heavier work. Men are neither wearied nor + bored when doing great things. Under the present system government loses + fully four hours out of the nine which the clerks owe to the service,—hours + wasted, as we shall see, in conversations, in gossip, in disputes, and, + above all, in underhand intriguing. The reader must have haunted the + bureaus of the ministerial departments before he can realize how much + their petty and belittling life resembles that of seminaries. Wherever men + live collectively this likeness is obvious; in regiments, in law-courts, + you will find the elements of the school on a smaller or larger scale. The + government clerks, forced to be together for nine hours of the day, looked + upon their office as a sort of class-room where they had tasks to perform, + where the head of the bureau was no other than a schoolmaster, and where + the gratuities bestowed took the place of prizes given out to proteges,—a + place, moreover, where they teased and hated each other, and yet felt a + certain comradeship, colder than that of a regiment, which itself is less + hearty than that of seminaries. As a man advances in life he grows more + selfish; egoism develops, and relaxes all the secondary bonds of + affection. A government office is, in short, a microcosm of society, with + its oddities and hatreds, its envy and its cupidity, its determination to + push on, no matter who goes under, its frivolous gossip which gives so + many wounds, and its perpetual spying. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0005" id="link2HCH0005"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER V. THE MACHINE IN MOTION + </h2> + <p> + At this moment the division of Monsieur de la Billardiere was in a state + of unusual excitement, resulting very naturally from the event which was + about to happen; for heads of divisions do not die every day, and there is + no insurance office where the chances of life and death are calculated + with more sagacity than in a government bureau. Self-interest stifles all + compassion, as it does in children, but the government service adds + hypocrisy to boot. + </p> + <p> + The clerks of the bureau Baudoyer arrived at eight o’clock in the morning, + whereas those of the bureau Rabourdin seldom appeared till nine,—a + circumstance which did not prevent the work in the latter office from + being more rapidly dispatched than that of the former. Dutocq had + important reasons for coming early on this particular morning. The + previous evening he had furtively entered the study where Sebastien was at + work, and had seen him copying some papers for Rabourdin; he concealed + himself until he saw Sebastien leave the premises without taking any + papers away with him. Certain, therefore, of finding the rather voluminous + memorandum which he had seen, together with its copy, in some corner of + the study, he searched through the boxes one after another until he + finally came upon the fatal list. He carried it in hot haste to an + autograph-printing house, where he obtained two pressed copies of the + memorandum, showing, of course, Rabourdin’s own writing. Anxious not to + arouse suspicion, he had gone very early to the office and replaced both + the memorandum and Sebastien’s copy in the box from which he had taken + them. Sebastien, who was kept up till after midnight at Madame Rabourdin’s + party, was, in spite of his desire to get to the office early, preceded by + the spirit of hatred. Hatred lived in the rue Saint-Louis-Saint-Honore, + whereas love and devotion lived far-off in the rue du Roi-Dore in the + Marais. This slight delay was destined to affect Rabourdin’s whole career. + </p> + <p> + Sebastien opened his box eagerly, found the memorandum and his own + unfinished copy all in order, and locked them at once into the desk as + Rabourdin had directed. The mornings are dark in these offices towards the + end of December, sometimes indeed the lamps are lit till after ten + o’clock; consequently Sebastien did not happen to notice the pressure of + the copying-machine upon the paper. But when, about half-past nine + o’clock, Rabourdin looked at his memorandum he saw at once the effects of + the copying process, and all the more readily because he was then + considering whether these autographic presses could not be made to do the + work of copying clerks. + </p> + <p> + “Did any one get to the office before you?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” replied Sebastien,—“Monsieur Dutocq.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! well, he was punctual. Send Antoine to me.” + </p> + <p> + Too noble to distress Sebastien uselessly by blaming him for a misfortune + now beyond remedy, Rabourdin said no more. Antoine came. Rabourdin asked + if any clerk had remained at the office after four o’clock the previous + evening. The man replied that Monsieur Dutocq had worked there later than + Monsieur de la Roche, who was usually the last to leave. Rabourdin + dismissed him with a nod, and resumed the thread of his reflections. + </p> + <p> + “Twice I have prevented his dismissal,” he said to himself, “and this is + my reward.” + </p> + <p> + This morning was to Rabourdin like the solemn hour in which great + commanders decide upon a battle and weigh all chances. Knowing the spirit + of official life better than any one, he well knew that it would never + pardon, any more than a school or the galleys or the army pardon, what + looked like espionage or tale-bearing. A man capable of informing against + his comrades is disgraced, dishonored, despised; the ministers in such a + case would disavow their own agents. Nothing was left to an official so + placed but to send in his resignation and leave Paris; his honor is + permanently stained; explanations are of no avail; no one will either ask + for them or listen to them. A minister may well do the same thing and be + thought a great man, able to choose the right instruments; but a mere + subordinate will be judged as a spy, no matter what may be his motives. + While justly measuring the folly of such judgment, Rabourdin knew that it + was all-powerful; and he knew, too, that he was crushed. More surprised + than overwhelmed, he now sought for the best course to follow under the + circumstances; and with such thoughts in his mind he was necessarily aloof + from the excitement caused in the division by the death of Monsieur de la + Billardiere; in fact he did not hear of it until young La Briere, who was + able to appreciate his sterling value, came to tell him. About ten + o’clock, in the bureau Baudoyer, Bixiou was relating the last moments of + the life of the director to Minard, Desroys, Monsieur Godard, whom he had + called from his private office, and Dutocq, who had rushed in with private + motives of his own. Colleville and Chazelle were absent. + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [standing with his back to the stove and holding up the sole of + each boot alternately to dry at the open door]. “This morning, at + half-past seven, I went to inquire after our most worthy and respectable + director, knight of the order of Christ, et caetera, et caetera. Yes, + gentlemen, last night he was a being with twenty et caeteras, to-day he is + nothing, not even a government clerk. I asked all particulars of his + nurse. She told me that this morning at five o’clock he became uneasy + about the royal family. He asked for the names of all the clerks who had + called to inquire after him; and then he said: ‘Fill my snuff-box, give me + the newspaper, bring my spectacles, and change my ribbon of the Legion of + honor,—it is very dirty.’ I suppose you know he always wore his + orders in bed. He was fully conscious, retained his senses and all his + usual ideas. But, presto! ten minutes later the water rose, rose, rose and + flooded his chest; he knew he was dying for he felt the cysts break. At + that fatal moment he gave evident proof of his powerful mind and vast + intellect. Ah, we never rightly appreciated him! We used to laugh at him + and call him a booby—didn’t you, Monsieur Godard?” + </p> + <p> + Godard. “I? I always rated Monsieur de la Billardiere’s talents higher + than the rest of you.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “You and he could understand each other!” + </p> + <p> + Godard. “He wasn’t a bad man; he never harmed any one.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “To do harm you must do something, and he never did anything. If + it wasn’t you who said he was a dolt, it must have been Minard.” + </p> + <p> + Minard [shrugging his shoulders]. “I!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Well, then it was you, Dutocq!” [Dutocq made a vehement gesture + of denial.] “Oh! very good, then it was nobody. Every one in this office + knew his intellect was herculean. Well, you were right. He ended, as I + have said, like the great man that he was.” + </p> + <p> + Desroys [impatiently]. “Pray what did he do that was so great? he had the + weakness to confess himself.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Yes, monsieur, he received the holy sacraments. But do you know + what he did in order to receive them? He put on his uniform as + gentleman-in-ordinary of the Bedchamber, with all his orders, and had + himself powdered; they tied his queue (that poor queue!) with a fresh + ribbon. Now I say that none but a man of remarkable character would have + his queue tied with a fresh ribbon just as he was dying. There are eight + of us here, and I don’t believe one among us is capable of such an act. + But that’s not all; he said,—for you know all celebrated men make a + dying speech; he said,—stop now, what did he say? Ah! he said, ‘I + must attire myself to meet the King of Heaven,—I, who have so often + dressed in my best for audience with the kings of earth.’ That’s how + Monsieur de la Billardiere departed this life. He took upon himself to + justify the saying of Pythagoras, ‘No man is known until he dies.’” + </p> + <p> + Colleville [rushing in]. “Gentlemen, great news!” + </p> + <p> + All. “We know it.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “I defy you to know it! I have been hunting for it ever since + the accession of His Majesty to the thrones of France and of Navarre. Last + night I succeeded! but with what labor! Madame Colleville asked me what + was the matter.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Do you think we have time to bother ourselves with your + intolerable anagrams when the worthy Monsieur de la Billardiere has just + expired?” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “That’s Bixiou’s nonsense! I have just come from Monsieur de + la Billardiere’s; he is still living, though they expect him to die soon.” + [Godard, indignant at the hoax, goes off grumbling.] “Gentlemen! you would + never guess what extraordinary events are revealed by the anagram of this + sacramental sentence” [he pulls out a piece of paper and reads], “Charles + dix, par la grace de Dieu, roi de France et de Navarre.” + </p> + <p> + Godard [re-entering]. “Tell what it is at once, and don’t keep people + waiting.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville [triumphantly unfolding the rest of the paper]. “Listen! + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “A H. V. il cedera; + De S. C. l. d. partira; + Eh nauf errera, + Decide a Gorix. +</pre> + <p> + “Every letter is there!” [He repeats it.] “A Henry cinq cedera (his crown + of course); de Saint-Cloud partira; en nauf (that’s an old French word for + skiff, vessel, felucca, corvette, anything you like) errera—” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “What a tissue of absurdities! How can the King cede his crown to + Henry V., who, according to your nonsense, must be his grandson, when + Monseigneur le Dauphin is living. Are you prophesying the Dauphin’s + death?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “What’s Gorix, pray?—the name of a cat?” + </p> + <p> + Colleville [provoked]. “It is the archaeological and lapidarial + abbreviation of the name of a town, my good friend; I looked it out in + Malte-Brun: Goritz, in Latin Gorixia, situated in Bohemia or Hungary, or + it may be Austria—” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Tyrol, the Basque provinces, or South America. Why don’t you set + it all to music and play it on the clarionet?” + </p> + <p> + Godard [shrugging his shoulders and departing]. “What utter nonsense!” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “Nonsense! nonsense indeed! It is a pity you don’t take the + trouble to study fatalism, the religion of the Emperor Napoleon.” + </p> + <p> + Godard [irritated at Colleville’s tone]. “Monsieur Colleville, let me tell + you that Bonaparte may perhaps be styled Emperor by historians, but it is + extremely out of place to refer to him as such in a government office.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [laughing]. “Get an anagram out of that, my dear fellow.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville [angrily]. “Let me tell you that if Napoleon Bonaparte had + studied the letters of his name on the 14th of April, 1814, he might + perhaps be Emperor still.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “How do you make that out?” + </p> + <p> + Colleville [solemnly]. “Napoleon Bonaparte.—No, appear not at Elba!” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “You’ll lose your place for talking such nonsense.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “If my place is taken from me, Francois Keller will make it + hot for your minister.” [Dead silence.] “I’d have you to know, Master + Dutocq, that all known anagrams have actually come to pass. Look here,—you, + yourself,—don’t you marry, for there’s ‘coqu’ in your name.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [interrupting]. “And d, t, for de-testable.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [without seeming angry]. “I don’t care, as long as it is only in my + name. Why don’t you anagrammatize, or whatever you call it, ‘Xavier + Rabourdin, chef du bureau’?” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “Bless you, so I have!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [mending his pen]. “And what did you make of it?” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “It comes out as follows: D’abord reva bureaux, E-u,—(you + catch the meaning? et eut—and had) E-u fin riche; which signifies + that after first belonging to the administration, he gave it up and got + rich elsewhere.” [Repeats.] “D’abord reva bureaux, E-u fin riche.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “That IS queer!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Try Isidore Baudoyer.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville [mysteriously]. “I sha’n’t tell the other anagrams to any one + but Thuillier.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “I’ll bet you a breakfast that I can tell that one myself.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “And I’ll pay if you find it out.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Then I shall breakfast at your expense; but you won’t be angry, + will you? Two such geniuses as you and I need never conflict. ‘Isidore + Baudoyer’ anagrams into ‘Ris d’aboyeur d’oie.’” + </p> + <p> + Colleville [petrified with amazement]. “You stole it from me!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [with dignity]. “Monsieur Colleville, do me the honor to believe + that I am rich enough in absurdity not to steal my neighbor’s nonsense.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer [entering with a bundle of papers in his hand]. “Gentlemen, I + request you to shout a little louder; you bring this office into such high + repute with the administration. My worthy coadjutor, Monsieur Clergeot, + did me the honor just now to come and ask a question, and he heard the + noise you are making” [passes into Monsieur Godard’s room]. + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [in a low voice]. “The watch-dog is very tame this morning; + there’ll be a change of weather before night.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [whispering to Bixiou]. “I have something I want to say to you.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [fingering Dutocq’s waistcoat]. “You’ve a pretty waistcoat, that + cost you nothing; is that what you want to say?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Nothing, indeed! I never paid so dear for anything in my life. + That stuff cost six francs a yard in the best shop in the rue de la Paix,—a + fine dead stuff, the very thing for deep mourning.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “You know about engravings and such things, my dear fellow, but + you are totally ignorant of the laws of etiquette. Well, no man can be a + universal genius! Silk is positively not admissible in deep mourning. + Don’t you see I am wearing woollen? Monsieur Rabourdin, Monsieur Baudoyer, + and the minister are all in woollen; so is the faubourg Saint-Germain. + There’s no one here but Minard who doesn’t wear woollen; he’s afraid of + being taken for a sheep. That’s the reason why he didn’t put on mourning + for Louis XVIII.” + </p> + <p> + [During this conversation Baudoyer is sitting by the fire in Godard’s + room, and the two are conversing in a low voice.] + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer. “Yes, the worthy man is dying. The two ministers are both with + him. My father-in-law has been notified of the event. If you want to do me + a signal service you will take a cab and go and let Madame Baudoyer know + what is happening; for Monsieur Saillard can’t leave his desk, nor I my + office. Put yourself at my wife’s orders; do whatever she wishes. She has, + I believe, some ideas of her own, and wants to take certain steps + simultaneously.” [The two functionaries go out together.] + </p> + <p> + Godard. “Monsieur Bixiou, I am obliged to leave the office for the rest of + the day. You will take my place.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer [to Bixiou, benignly]. “Consult me, if there is any necessity.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “This time, La Billardiere is really dead.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [in Bixiou’s ear]. “Come outside a minute.” [The two go into the + corridor and gaze at each other like birds of ill-omen.] + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [whispering]. “Listen. Now is the time for us to understand each + other and push our way. What would you say to your being made head of the + bureau, and I under you?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [shrugging his shoulders]. “Come, come, don’t talk nonsense!” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “If Baudoyer gets La Billardiere’s place Rabourdin won’t stay on + where he is. Between ourselves, Baudoyer is so incapable that if du Bruel + and you don’t help him he will certainly be dismissed in a couple of + months. If I know arithmetic that will give three empty places for us to + fill—” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Three places right under our noses, which will certainly be given + to some bloated favorite, some spy, some pious fraud,—to Colleville + perhaps, whose wife has ended where all pretty women end—in piety.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “No, to /you/, my dear fellow, if you will only, for once in your + life, use your wits logically.” [He stopped as if to study the effect of + his adverb in Bixiou’s face.] “Come, let us play fair.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [stolidly]. “Let me see your game.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “I don’t wish to be anything more than under-head-clerk. I know + myself perfectly well, and I know I haven’t the ability, like you, to be + head of a bureau. Du Bruel can be director, and you the head of this + bureau; he will leave you his place as soon as he has made his pile; and + as for me, I shall swim with the tide comfortably, under your protection, + till I can retire on a pension.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Sly dog! but how to you expect to carry out a plan which means + forcing the minister’s hand and ejecting a man of talent? Between + ourselves, Rabourdin is the only man capable of taking charge of the + division, and I might say of the ministry. Do you know that they talk of + putting in over his head that solid lump of foolishness, that cube of + idiocy, Baudoyer?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [consequentially]. “My dear fellow, I am in a position to rouse the + whole division against Rabourdin. You know how devoted Fleury is to him? + Well, I can make Fleury despise him.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Despised by Fleury!” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Not a soul will stand by Rabourdin; the clerks will go in a body + and complain of him to the minister,—not only in our division, but + in all the divisions—” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Forward, march! infantry, cavalry, artillery, and marines of the + guard! You rave, my good fellow! And I, what part am I to take in the + business?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “You are to make a cutting caricature,—sharp enough to kill + a man.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “How much will you pay for it?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “A hundred francs.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [to himself]. “Then there is something in it.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [continuing]. “You must represent Rabourdin dressed as a butcher + (make it a good likeness), find analogies between a kitchen and a bureau, + put a skewer in his hand, draw portraits of the principal clerks and stick + their heads on fowls, put them in a monstrous coop labelled ‘Civil Service + executions’; make him cutting the throat of one, and supposed to take the + others in turn. You can have geese and ducks with heads like ours,—you + understand! Baudoyer, for instance, he’ll make an excellent + turkey-buzzard.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Ris d’aboyeur d’oie!” [He has watched Dutocq carefully for some + time.] “Did you think of that yourself?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Yes, I myself.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [to himself]. “Do evil feelings bring men to the same result as + talents?” [Aloud] “Well, I’ll do it” [Dutocq makes a motion of delight] “—when” + [full stop] “—I know where I am and what I can rely on. If you don’t + succeed I shall lose my place, and I must make a living. You are a curious + kind of innocent still, my dear colleague.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Well, you needn’t make the lithograph till success is proved.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Why don’t you come out and tell me the whole truth?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “I must first see how the land lays in the bureau; we will talk + about it later” [goes off]. + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [alone in the corridor]. “That fish, for he’s more a fish than a + bird, that Dutocq has a good idea in his head—I’m sure I don’t know + where he stole it. If Baudoyer should succeed La Billardiere it would be + fun, more than fun—profit!” [Returns to the office.] “Gentlemen, I + announce glorious changes; papa La Billardiere is dead, really dead,—no + nonsense, word of honor! Godard is off on business for our excellent chief + Baudoyer, successor presumptive to the deceased.” [Minard, Desroys, and + Colleville raise their heads in amazement; they all lay down their pens, + and Colleville blows his nose.] “Every one of us is to be promoted! + Colleville will be under-head-clerk at the very least. Minard may have my + place as chief clerk—why not? he is quite as dull as I am. Hey, + Minard, if you should get twenty-five hundred francs a-year your little + wife would be uncommonly pleased, and you could buy yourself a pair of + boots now and then.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “But you don’t get twenty-five hundred francs.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Monsieur Dutocq gets that in Rabourdin’s office; why shouldn’t I + get it this year? Monsieur Baudoyer gets it.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “Only through the influence of Monsieur Saillard. No other + chief clerk gets that in any of the divisions.” + </p> + <p> + Paulmier. “Bah! Hasn’t Monsieur Cochin three thousand? He succeeded + Monsieur Vavasseur, who served ten years under the Empire at four + thousand. His salary was dropped to three when the King first returned; + then to two thousand five hundred before Vavasseur died. But Monsieur + Cochin, who succeeded him, had influence enough to get the salary put back + to three thousand.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “Monsieur Cochin signs E. A. L. Cochin (he is named + Emile-Adolphe-Lucian), which, when anagrammed, gives Cochineal. Now + observe, he’s a partner in a druggist’s business in the rue des Lombards, + the Maison Matifat, which made its fortune by that identical colonial + product.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer [entering]. “Monsieur Chazelle, I see, is not here; you will be + good enough to say I asked for him, gentlemen.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [who had hastily stuck a hat on Chazelle’s chair when he heard + Baudoyer’s step]. “Excuse me, Monsieur, but Chazelle has gone to the + Rabourdins’ to make an inquiry.” + </p> + <p> + Chazelle [entering with his hat on his head, and not seeing Baudoyer]. “La + Billardiere is done for, gentlemen! Rabourdin is head of the division and + Master of petitions; he hasn’t stolen /his/ promotion, that’s very + certain.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer [to Chazelle]. “You found that appointment in your second hat, I + presume” [points to the hat on the chair]. “This is the third time within + a month that you have come after nine o’clock. If you continue the + practice you will get on—elsewhere.” [To Bixiou, who is reading the + newspaper.] “My dear Monsieur Bixiou, do pray leave the newspapers to + these gentlemen who are going to breakfast, and come into my office for + your orders for the day. I don’t know what Monsieur Rabourdin wants with + Gabriel; he keeps him to do his private errands, I believe. I’ve rung + three times and can’t get him.” [Baudoyer and Bixiou retire into the + private office.] + </p> + <p> + Chazelle. “Damned unlucky!” + </p> + <p> + Paulmier [delighted to annoy Chazelle]. “Why didn’t you look about when + you came into the room? You might have seen the elephant, and the hat too; + they are big enough to be visible.” + </p> + <p> + Chazelle [dismally]. “Disgusting business! I don’t see why we should be + treated like slaves because the government gives us four francs and + sixty-five centimes a day.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [entering]. “Down with Baudoyer! hurrah for Rabourdin!—that’s + the cry in the division.” + </p> + <p> + Chazelle [getting more and more angry]. “Baudoyer can turn off me if he + likes, I sha’n’t care. In Paris there are a thousand ways of earning five + francs a day; why, I could earn that at the Palais de Justice, copying + briefs for the lawyers.” + </p> + <p> + Paulmier [still prodding him]. “It is very easy to say that; but a + government place is a government place, and that plucky Colleville, who + works like a galley-slave outside of this office, and who could earn, if + he lost his appointment, more than his salary, prefers to keep his place. + Who the devil is fool enough to give up his expectations?” + </p> + <p> + Chazelle [continuing his philippic]. “You may not be, but I am! We have no + chances at all. Time was when nothing was more encouraging than a + civil-service career. So many men were in the army that there were not + enough for the government work; the maimed and the halt and the sick ones, + like Paulmier, and the near-sighted ones, all had their chance of a rapid + promotion. But now, ever since the Chamber invented what they called + special training, and the rules and regulations for civil-service + examiners, we are worse off than common soldiers. The poorest places are + at the mercy of a thousand mischances because we are now ruled by a + thousand sovereigns.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [returning]. “Are you crazy, Chazelle? Where do you find a thousand + sovereigns?—not in your pocket, are they?” + </p> + <p> + Chazelle. “Count them up. There are four hundred over there at the end of + the pont de la Concorde (so called because it leads to the scene of + perpetual discord between the Right and Left of the Chamber); three + hundred more at the end of the rue de Tournon. The court, which ought to + count for the other three hundred, has seven hundred parts less power to + get a man appointed to a place under government than the Emperor Napoleon + had.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “All of which signifies that in a country where there are three + powers you may bet a thousand to one that a government clerk who has no + influence but his own merits to advance him will remain in obscurity.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [looking alternately at Chazelle and Fleury]. “My sons, you have + yet to learn that in these days the worst state of life is the state of + belonging to the State.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Because it has a constitutional government.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “Gentlemen, gentlemen! no politics!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Fleury is right. Serving the State in these days is no longer + serving a prince who knew how to punish and reward. The State now is + /everybody/. Everybody of course cares for nobody. Serve everybody, and + you serve nobody. Nobody is interested in nobody; the government clerk + lives between two negations. The world has neither pity nor respect, + neither heart nor head; everybody forgets to-morrow the service of + yesterday. Now each one of you may be, like Monsieur Baudoyer, an + administrative genius, a Chateaubriand of reports, a Bossouet of + circulars, the Canalis of memorials, the gifted son of diplomatic + despatches; but I tell you there is a fatal law which interferes with all + administrative genius,—I mean the law of promotion by average. This + average is based on the statistics of promotion and the statistics of + mortality combined. It is very certain that on entering whichever section + of the Civil Service you please at the age of eighteen, you can’t get + eighteen hundred francs a year till you reach the age of thirty. Now + there’s no free and independent career in which, in the course of twelve + years, a young man who has gone through the grammar-school, been + vaccinated, is exempt from military service, and possesses all his + faculties (I don’t mean transcendent ones) can’t amass a capital of + forty-five thousand francs in centimes, which represents a permanent + income equal to our salaries, which are, after all, precarious. In twelve + years a grocer can earn enough to give him ten thousand francs a year; a + painter can daub a mile of canvas and be decorated with the Legion of + honor, or pose as a neglected genius. A literary man becomes professor of + something or other, or a journalist at a hundred francs for a thousand + lines; he writes ‘feuilletons,’ or he gets into Saint-Pelagie for a + brilliant article that offends the Jesuits,—which of course is an + immense benefit to him and makes him a politician at once. Even a lazy + man, who does nothing but make debts, has time to marry a widow who pays + them; a priest finds time to become a bishop ‘in partibus.’ A sober, + intelligent young fellow, who begins with a small capital as a + money-changer, soon buys a share in a broker’s business; and, to go even + lower, a petty clerk becomes a notary, a rag-picker lays by two or three + thousand francs a year, and the poorest workmen often become + manufacturers; whereas, in the rotatory movement of this present + civilization, which mistakes perpetual division and redivision for + progress, an unhappy civil service clerk, like Chazelle for instance, is + forced to dine for twenty-two sous a meal, struggles with his tailor and + bootmaker, gets into debt, and is an absolute nothing; worse than that, he + becomes an idiot! Come, gentlemen, now’s the time to make a stand! Let us + all give in our resignations! Fleury, Chazelle, fling yourselves into + other employments and become the great men you really are.” + </p> + <p> + Chazelle [calmed down by Bixiou’s allocution]. “No, I thank you” [general + laughter]. + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “You are wrong; in your situation I should try to get ahead of the + general-secretary.” + </p> + <p> + Chazelle [uneasily]. “What has he to do with me?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “You’ll find out; do you suppose Baudoyer will overlook what + happened just now?” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Another piece of Bixiou’s spite! You’ve a queer fellow to deal + with in there. Now, Monsieur Rabourdin,—there’s a man for you! He + put work on my table to-day that you couldn’t get through within this + office in three days; well, he expects me to have it done by four o’clock + to-day. But he is not always at my heels to hinder me from talking to my + friends.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer [appearing at the door]. “Gentlemen, you will admit that if you + have the legal right to find fault with the chamber and the administration + you must at least do so elsewhere than in this office.” [To Fleury.] “What + are you doing here, monsieur?” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [insolently]. “I came to tell these gentlemen that there was to be + a general turn-out. Du Bruel is sent for to the ministry, and Dutocq also. + Everybody is asking who will be appointed.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer [retiring]. “It is not your affair, sir; go back to your own + office, and do not disturb mine.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [in the doorway]. “It would be a shameful injustice if Rabourdin + lost the place; I swear I’d leave the service. Did you find that anagram, + papa Colleville?” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “Yes, here it is.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [leaning over Colleville’s desk]. “Capital! famous! This is just + what will happen if the administration continues to play the hypocrite.” + [He makes a sign to the clerks that Baudoyer is listening.] “If the + government would frankly state its intentions without concealments of any + kind, the liberals would know what they had to deal with. An + administration which sets its best friends against itself, such men as + those of the ‘Debats,’ Chateaubriand, and Royer-Collard, is only to be + pitied!” + </p> + <p> + Colleville [after consulting his colleagues]. “Come, Fleury, you’re a good + fellow, but don’t talk politics here; you don’t know what harm you may do + us.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [dryly]. “Well, adieu, gentlemen; I have my work to do by four + o’clock.” + </p> + <p> + While this idle talk had been going on, des Lupeaulx was closeted in his + office with du Bruel, where, a little later, Dutocq joined them. Des + Lupeaulx had heard from his valet of La Billardiere’s death, and wishing + to please the two ministers, he wanted an obituary article to appear in + the evening papers. + </p> + <p> + “Good morning, my dear du Bruel,” said the semi-minister to the head-clerk + as he entered, and not inviting him to sit down. “You have heard the news? + La Billardiere is dead. The ministers were both present when he received + the last sacraments. The worthy man strongly recommended Rabourdin, saying + he should die with less regret if he could know that his successor were + the man who had so constantly done his work. Death is a torture which + makes a man confess everything. The minister agreed the more readily + because his intention and that of the Council was to reward Monsieur + Rabourdin’s numerous services. In fact, the Council of State needs his + experience. They say that young La Billardiere is to leave the division of + his father and go to the Commission of Seals; that’s just the same as if + the King had made him a present of a hundred thousand francs,—the + place can always be sold. But I know the news will delight your division, + which will thus get rid of him. Du Bruel, we must get ten or a dozen lines + about the worthy late director into the papers; his Excellency will glance + them over,—he reads the papers. Do you know the particulars of old + La Billardiere’s life?” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel made a sign in the negative. + </p> + <p> + “No?” continued des Lupeaulx. “Well then; he was mixed up in the affairs + of La Vendee, and he was one of the confidants of the late King. Like + Monsieur le Comte de Fontaine he always refused to hold communication with + the First Consul. He was a bit of a ‘chouan’; born in Brittany of a + parliamentary family, and ennobled by Louis XVIII. How old was he? never + mind about that; just say his loyalty was untarnished, his religion + enlightened,—the poor old fellow hated churches and never set foot + in one, but you had better make him out a ‘pious vassal.’ Bring in, + gracefully, that he sang the song of Simeon at the accession of Charles X. + The Comte d’Artois thought very highly of La Billardiere, for he + co-operated in the unfortunate affair of Quiberon and took the whole + responsibility on himself. You know about that, don’t you? La Billardiere + defended the King in a printed pamphlet in reply to an impudent history of + the Revolution written by a journalist; you can allude to his loyalty and + devotion. But be very careful what you say; weigh your words, so that the + other newspapers can’t laugh at us; and bring me the article when you’ve + written it. Were you at Rabourdin’s yesterday?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, monseigneur,” said du Bruel, “Ah! beg pardon.” + </p> + <p> + “No harm done,” answered des Lupeaulx, laughing. + </p> + <p> + “Madame Rabourdin looked delightfully handsome,” added du Bruel. “There + are not two women like her in Paris. Some are as clever as she, but + there’s not one so gracefully witty. Many women may even be handsomer, but + it would be hard to find one with such variety of beauty. Madame Rabourdin + is far superior to Madame Colleville,” said the vaudevillist, remembering + des Lupeaulx’s former affair. “Flavie owes what she is to the men about + her, whereas Madame Rabourdin is all things in herself. It is wonderful + too what she knows; you can’t tell secrets in Latin before /her/. If I had + such a wife, I know I should succeed in everything.” + </p> + <p> + “You have more mind than an author ought to have,” returned des Lupeaulx, + with a conceited air. Then he turned round and perceived Dutocq. “Ah, + good-morning, Dutocq,” he said. “I sent for you to lend me your Charlet—if + you have the whole complete. Madame la comtesse knows nothing of Charlet.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel retired. + </p> + <p> + “Why do you come in without being summoned?” said des Lupeaulx, harshly, + when he and Dutocq were left alone. “Is the State in danger that you must + come here at ten o’clock in the morning, just as I am going to breakfast + with his Excellency?” + </p> + <p> + “Perhaps it is, monsieur,” said Dutocq, dryly. “If I had had the honor to + see you earlier, you would probably have not been so willing to support + Monsieur Rabourdin, after reading his opinion of you.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq opened his coat, took a paper from the left-hand breast-pocket and + laid it on des Lupeaulx’s desk, pointing to a marked passage. Then he went + to the door and slipped the bolt, fearing interruption. While he was thus + employed, the secretary-general read the opening sentence of the article, + which was as follows: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Monsieur des Lupeaulx. A government degrades itself by openly + employing such a man, whose real vocation is for police diplomacy. + He is fitted to deal with the political filibusters of other + cabinets, and it would be a pity therefore to employ him on our + internal detective police. He is above a common spy, for he is + able to understand a plan; he could skilfully carry through a dark + piece of work and cover his retreat safely.” + </pre> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx was succinctly analyzed in five or six such paragraphs,—the + essence, in fact, of the biographical portrait which we gave at the + beginning of this history. As he read the words the secretary felt that a + man stronger than himself sat in judgment on him; and he at once resolved + to examine the memorandum, which evidently reached far and high, without + allowing Dutocq to know his secret thoughts. He therefore showed a calm, + grave face when the spy returned to him. Des Lupeaulx, like lawyers, + magistrates, diplomatists, and all whose work obliges them to pry into the + human heart, was past being surprised at anything. Hardened in treachery + and in all the tricks and wiles of hatred, he could take a stab in the + back and not let his face tell of it. + </p> + <p> + “How did you get hold of this paper?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq related his good luck; des Lupeaulx’s face as he listened expressed + no approbation; and the spy ended in terror an account which began + triumphantly. + </p> + <p> + “Dutocq, you have put your finger between the bark and the tree,” said the + secretary, coldly. “If you don’t want to make powerful enemies I advise + you to keep this paper a profound secret; it is a work of the utmost + importance and already well known to me.” + </p> + <p> + So saying, des Lupeaulx dismissed Dutocq by one of those glances that are + more expressive than words. + </p> + <p> + “Ha! that scoundrel of a Rabourdin has put his finger in this!” thought + Dutocq, alarmed on finding himself anticipated; “he has reached the ear of + the administration, while I am left out in the cold. I shouldn’t have + thought it!” + </p> + <p> + To all his other motives of aversion to Rabourdin he now added the + jealousy of one man to another man of the same calling,—a most + powerful ingredient in hatred. + </p> + <p> + When des Lupeaulx was left alone, he dropped into a strange meditation. + What power was it of which Rabourdin was the instrument? Should he, des + Lupeaulx, use this singular document to destroy him, or should he keep it + as a weapon to succeed with the wife? The mystery that lay behind this + paper was all darkness to des Lupeaulx, who read with something akin to + terror page after page, in which the men of his acquaintance were judged + with unerring wisdom. He admired Rabourdin, though stabbed to his vitals + by what he said of him. The breakfast-hour suddenly cut short his + meditation. + </p> + <p> + “His Excellency is waiting for you to come down,” announced the minister’s + footman. + </p> + <p> + The minister always breakfasted with his wife and children and des + Lupeaulx, without the presence of servants. The morning meal affords the + only moment of privacy which public men can snatch from the current of + overwhelming business. Yet in spite of the precautions they take to keep + this hour for private intimacies and affections, a good many great and + little people manage to infringe upon it. Business itself will, as at this + moment, thrust itself in the way of their scanty comfort. + </p> + <p> + “I thought Rabourdin was a man above all ordinary petty manoeuvres,” began + the minister; “and yet here, not ten minutes after La Billardiere’s death, + he sends me this note by La Briere,—it is like a stage missive. + Look,” said his Excellency, giving des Lupeaulx a paper which he was + twirling in his fingers. + </p> + <p> + Too noble in mind to think for a moment of the shameful meaning La + Billardiere’s death might lend to his letter, Rabourdin had not withdrawn + it from La Briere’s hands after the news reached him. Des Lupeaulx read as + follows:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Monseigneur,—If twenty-three years of irreproachable services + may claim a favor, I entreat your Excellency to grant me an + audience this very day. My honor is involved in the matter of + which I desire to speak.” + </pre> + <p> + “Poor man!” said des Lupeaulx, in a tone of compassion which confirmed the + minister in his error. “We are alone; I advise you to see him now. You + have a meeting of the Council when the Chamber rises; moreover, your + Excellency has to reply to-day to the opposition; this is really the only + hour when you can receive him.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx rose, called the servant, said a few words, and returned to + his seat. “I have told them to bring him in at dessert,” he said. + </p> + <p> + Like all other ministers under the Restoration, this particular minister + was a man without youth. The charter granted by Louis XVIII. had the + defect of tying the hands of the kings by compelling them to deliver the + destinies of the nation into the control of the middle-aged men of the + Chamber and the septuagenarians of the peerage; it robbed them of the + right to lay hands on a man of statesmanlike talent wherever they could + find him, no matter how young he was or how poverty-stricken his condition + might be. Napoleon alone was able to employ young men as he chose, without + being restrained by any consideration. After the overthrow of that mighty + will, vigor deserted power. Now the period when effeminacy succeeds to + vigor presents a contrast that is far more dangerous in France than in + other countries. As a general thing, ministers who were old before they + entered office have proved second or third rate, while those who were + taken young have been an honor to European monarchies and to the republics + whose affairs they have directed. The world still rings with the struggle + between Pitt and Napoleon, two men who conducted the politics of their + respective countries at an age when Henri de Navarre, Richelieu, Mazarin, + Colbert, Louvois, the Prince of Orange, the Guises, Machiavelli, in short, + all the best known of our great men, coming from the ranks or born to a + throne, began to rule the State. The Convention—that model of energy—was + made up in a great measure of young heads; no sovereign can ever forget + that it was able to put fourteen armies into the field against Europe. Its + policy, fatal in the eyes of those who cling to what is called absolute + power, was nevertheless dictated by strictly monarchical principles, and + it behaved itself like any of the great kings. + </p> + <p> + After ten or a dozen years of parliamentary struggle, having studied the + science of politics until he was worn down by it, this particular minister + had come to be enthroned by his party, who considered him in the light of + their business man. Happily for him he was now nearer sixty than fifty + years of age; had he retained even a vestige of juvenile vigor he would + quickly have quenched it. But, accustomed to back and fill, retreat and + return to the charge, he was able to endure being struck at, turn and turn + about, by his own party, by the opposition, by the court, by the clergy, + because to all such attacks he opposed the inert force of a substance + which was equally soft and consistent; thus he reaped the benefits of what + was really his misfortune. Harassed by a thousand questions of government, + his mind, like that of an old lawyer who has tried every species of case, + no longer possessed the spring which solitary minds are able to retain, + nor that power of prompt decision which distinguishes men who are early + accustomed to action, and young soldiers. How could it be otherwise? He + had practised sophistries and quibbled instead of judging; he had + criticised effects and done nothing for causes; his head was full of plans + such as a political party lays upon the shoulders of a leader,—matters + of private interest brought to an orator supposed to have a future, a + jumble of schemes and impractical requests. Far from coming fresh to his + work, he was wearied out with marching and counter-marching, and when he + finally reached the much desired height of his present position, he found + himself in a thicket of thorny bushes with a thousand conflicting wills to + conciliate. If the statesmen of the Restoration had been allowed to follow + out their own ideas, their capacity would doubtless have been criticised; + but though their wills were often forced, their age saved them from + attempting the resistance which youth opposes to intrigues, both high and + low,—intrigues which vanquished Richelieu, and to which, in a lower + sphere, Rabourdin was to succumb. + </p> + <p> + After the rough and tumble of their first struggles in political life + these men, less old than aged, have to endure the additional wear and tear + of a ministry. Thus it is that their eyes begin to weaken just as they + need to have the clear-sightedness of eagles; their mind is weary when its + youth and fire need to be redoubled. The minister in whom Rabourdin sought + to confide was in the habit of listening to men of undoubted superiority + as they explained ingenious theories of government, applicable or + inapplicable to the affairs of France. Such men, by whom the difficulties + of national policy were never apprehended, were in the habit of attacking + this minister personally whenever a parliamentary battle or a contest with + the secret follies of the court took place,—on the eve of a struggle + with the popular mind, or on the morrow of a diplomatic discussion which + divided the Council into three separate parties. Caught in such a + predicament, a statesman naturally keeps a yawn ready for the first + sentence designed to show him how the public service could be better + managed. At such periods not a dinner took place among bold schemers or + financial and political lobbyists where the opinions of the Bourse and the + Bank, the secrets of diplomacy, and the policy necessitated by the state + of affairs in Europe were not canvassed and discussed. The minister has + his own private councillors in des Lupeaulx and his secretary, who + collected and pondered all opinions and discussions for the purpose of + analyzing and controlling the various interests proclaimed and supported + by so many clever men. In fact, his misfortune was that of most other + ministers who have passed the prime of life; he trimmed and shuffled under + all his difficulties,—with journalism, which at this period it was + thought advisable to repress in an underhand way rather than fight openly; + with financial as well as labor questions; with the clergy as well as with + that other question of the public lands; with liberalism as with the + Chamber. After manoeuvering his way to power in the course of seven years, + the minister believed that he could manage all questions of administration + in the same way. It is so natural to think we can maintain a position by + the same methods which served us to reach it that no one ventured to blame + a system invented by mediocrity to please minds of its own calibre. The + Restoration, like the Polish revolution, proved to nations as to princes + the true value of a Man, and what will happen if that necessary man is + wanting. The last and the greatest weakness of the public men of the + Restoration was their honesty, in a struggle in which their adversaries + employed the resources of political dishonesty, lies, and calumnies, and + let loose upon them, by all subversive means, the clamor of the + unintelligent masses, able only to understand revolt. + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin told himself all these things. But he had made up his mind to + win or lose, like a man weary of gambling who allows himself a last stake; + ill-luck had given him as adversary in the game a sharper like des + Lupeaulx. With all his sagacity, Rabourdin was better versed in matters of + administration than in parliamentary optics, and he was far indeed from + imagining how his confidence would be received; he little thought that the + great work that filled his mind would seem to the minister nothing more + than a theory, and that a man who held the position of a statesman would + confound his reform with the schemes of political and self-interested + talkers. + </p> + <p> + As the minister rose from table, thinking of Francois Keller, his wife + detained him with the offer of a bunch of grapes, and at that moment + Rabourdin was announced. Des Lupeaulx had counted on the minister’s + preoccupation and his desire to get away; seeing him for the moment + occupied with his wife, the general-secretary went forward to meet + Rabourdin; whom he petrified with his first words, said in a low tone of + voice:— + </p> + <p> + “His Excellency and I know what the subject is that occupies your mind; + you have nothing to fear”; then, raising his voice, he added, “neither + from Dutocq nor from any one else.” + </p> + <p> + “Don’t feel uneasy, Rabourdin,” said his Excellency, kindly, but making a + movement to get away. + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin came forward respectfully, and the minister could not evade him. + </p> + <p> + “Will your Excellency permit me to see you for a moment in private?” he + said, with a mysterious glance. + </p> + <p> + The minister looked at the clock and went towards the window, whither the + poor man followed him. + </p> + <p> + “When may I have the honor of submitting the matter of which I spoke to + your Excellency? I desire to fully explain the plan of administration to + which the paper that was taken belongs—” + </p> + <p> + “Plan of administration!” exclaimed the minister, frowning, and hurriedly + interrupting him. “If you have anything of that kind to communicate you + must wait for the regular day when we do business together. I ought to be + at the Council now; and I have an answer to make to the Chamber on that + point which the opposition raised before the session ended yesterday. Your + day is Wednesday next; I could not work yesterday, for I had other things + to attend to; political matters are apt to interfere with purely + administrative ones.” + </p> + <p> + “I place my honor with all confidence in your Excellency’s hands,” said + Rabourdin gravely, “and I entreat you to remember that you have not + allowed me time to give you an immediate explanation of the stolen paper—” + </p> + <p> + “Don’t be uneasy,” said des Lupeaulx, interposing between the minister and + Rabourdin, whom he thus interrupted; “in another week you will probably be + appointed—” + </p> + <p> + The minister smiled as he thought of des Lupeaulx’s enthusiasm for Madame + Rabourdin, and he glanced knowingly at his wife. Rabourdin saw the look, + and tried to imagine its meaning; his attention was diverted for a moment, + and his Excellency took advantage of the fact to make his escape. + </p> + <p> + “We will talk of all this, you and I,” said des Lupeaulx, with whom + Rabourdin, much to his surprise, now found himself alone. “Don’t be angry + with Dutocq; I’ll answer for his discretion.” + </p> + <p> + “Madame Rabourdin is charming,” said the minister’s wife, wishing to say + the civil thing to the head of a bureau. + </p> + <p> + The children all gazed at Rabourdin with curiosity. The poor man had come + there expecting some serious, even solemn, result, and he was like a great + fish caught in the threads of a flimsy net; he struggled with himself. + </p> + <p> + “Madame la comtesse is very good,” he said. + </p> + <p> + “Shall I not have the pleasure of seeing Madame here some Wednesday?” said + the countess. “Pray bring her; it will give me pleasure.” + </p> + <p> + “Madame Rabourdin herself receives on Wednesdays,” interrupted des + Lupeaulx, who knew the empty civility of an invitation to the official + Wednesdays; “but since you are so kind as to wish for her, you will soon + give one of your private parties, and—” + </p> + <p> + The countess rose with some irritation. + </p> + <p> + “You are the master of my ceremonies,” she said to des Lupeaulx,—ambiguous + words, by which she expressed the annoyance she felt with the secretary + for presuming to interfere with her private parties, to which she admitted + only a select few. She left the room without bowing to Rabourdin, who + remained alone with des Lupeaulx; the latter was twisting in his fingers + the confidential letter to the minister which Rabourdin had intrusted to + La Briere. Rabourdin recognized it. + </p> + <p> + “You have never really known me,” said des Lupeaulx. “Friday evening we + will come to a full understanding. Just now I must go and receive callers; + his Excellency saddles me with that burden when he has other matters to + attend to. But I repeat, Rabourdin, don’t worry yourself; you have nothing + to fear.” + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin walked slowly through the corridors, amazed and confounded by + this singular turn of events. He had expected Dutocq to denounce him, and + found he had not been mistaken; des Lupeaulx had certainly seen the + document which judged him so severely, and yet des Lupeaulx was fawning on + his judge! It was all incomprehensible. Men of upright minds are often at + a loss to understand complicated intrigues, and Rabourdin was lost in a + maze of conjecture without being able to discover the object of the game + which the secretary was playing. + </p> + <p> + “Either he has not read the part about himself, or he loves my wife.” + </p> + <p> + Such were the two thoughts to which his mind arrived as he crossed the + courtyard; for the glance he had intercepted the night before between des + Lupeaulx and Celestine came back to his memory like a flash of lightning. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0006" id="link2HCH0006"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VI. THE WORMS AT WORK + </h2> + <p> + Rabourdin’s bureau was during his absence a prey to the keenest + excitement; for the relation between the head officials and the clerks in + a government office is so regulated that, when a minister’s messenger + summons the head of a bureau to his Excellency’s presence (above all at + the latter’s breakfast hour), there is no end to the comments that are + made. The fact that the present unusual summons followed so closely on the + death of Monsieur de la Billardiere seemed to give special importance to + the circumstance, which was made known to Monsieur Saillard, who came at + once to confer with Baudoyer. Bixiou, who happened at the moment to be at + work with the latter, left him to converse with his father-in-law and + betook himself to the bureau Rabourdin, where the usual routine was of + course interrupted. + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [entering]. “I thought I should find you at a white heat! Don’t you + know what’s going on down below? The virtuous woman is done for! yes, done + for, crushed! Terrible scene at the ministry!” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [looking fixedly at him]. “Are you telling the truth?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Pray, who would regret it? Not you, certainly, for you will be + made under-head-clerk and du Bruel head of the bureau. Monsieur Baudoyer + gets the division.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “I’ll bet a hundred francs that Baudoyer will never be head of the + division.” + </p> + <p> + Vimeux. “I’ll join in the bet; will you, Monsieur Poiret?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “I retire in January.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Is it possible? are we to lose the sight of those shoe-ties? What + will the ministry be without you? Will nobody take up the bet on my side?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “I can’t, for I know the facts. Monsieur Rabourdin is appointed. + Monsieur de la Billardiere requested it of the two ministers on his + death-bed, blaming himself for having taken the emoluments of an office of + which Rabourdin did all the work; he felt remorse of conscience, and the + ministers, to quiet him, promised to appoint Rabourdin unless higher + powers intervened.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Gentlemen, are you all against me? seven to one,—for I know + which side you’ll take, Monsieur Phellion. Well, I’ll bet a dinner costing + five hundred francs at the Rocher de Cancale that Rabourdin does not get + La Billardiere’s place. That will cost you only a hundred francs each, and + I’m risking five hundred,—five to one against me! Do you take it + up?” [Shouting into the next room.] “Du Bruel, what say you?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [laying down his pen]. “Monsieur, may I ask on what you base that + contingent proposal?—for contingent it is. But stay, I am wrong to + call it a proposal; I should say contract. A wager constitutes a + contract.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “No, no; you can only apply the word ‘contract’ to agreements that + are recognized in the Code. Now the Code allows of no action for the + recovery of a bet.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Proscribe a thing and you recognize it.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Good! my little man.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Dear me!” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “True! when one refuses to pay one’s debts, that’s recognizing + them.” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “You would make famous lawyers.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “I am as curious as Monsieur Phellion to know what grounds + Monsieur Bixiou has for—” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [shouting across the office]. “Du Bruel! Will you bet?” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel [appearing at the door]. “Heavens and earth, gentlemen, I’m very + busy; I have something very difficult to do; I’ve got to write an obituary + notice of Monsieur de la Billardiere. I do beg you to be quiet; you can + laugh and bet afterwards.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “That’s true, du Bruel; the praise of an honest man is a very + difficult thing to write. I’d rather any day draw a caricature of him.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “Do come and help me, Bixiou.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [following him]. “I’m willing; though I can do such things much + better when eating.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “Well, we will go and dine together afterwards. But listen, this + is what I have written” [reads] “‘The Church and the Monarchy are daily + losing many of those who fought for them in Revolutionary times.’” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Bad, very bad; why don’t you say, ‘Death carries on its ravages + amongst the few surviving defenders of the monarchy and the old and + faithful servants of the King, whose heart bleeds under these reiterated + blows?’” [Du Bruel writes rapidly.] “‘Monsieur le Baron Flamet de la + Billardiere died this morning of dropsy, caused by heart disease.’ You + see, it is just as well to show there are hearts in government offices; + and you ought to slip in a little flummery about the emotions of the + Royalists during the Terror,—might be useful, hey! But stay,—no! + the petty papers would be sure to say the emotions came more from the + stomach than the heart. Better leave that out. What are you writing now?” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel [reading]. “‘Issuing from an old parliamentary stock in which + devotion to the throne was hereditary, as was also attachment to the faith + of our fathers, Monsieur de la Billardiere—‘” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Better say Monsieur le Baron de la Billardiere.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “But he wasn’t baron in 1793.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “No matter. Don’t you remember that under the Empire Fouche was + telling an anecdote about the Convention, in which he had to quote + Robespierre, and he said, ‘Robespierre called out to me, “Duc d’Otrante, + go to the Hotel de Ville.”’ There’s a precedent for you!” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “Let me just write that down; I can use it in a vaudeville.—But + to go back to what we were saying. I don’t want to put ‘Monsieur le + baron,’ because I am reserving his honors till the last, when they rained + upon him.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Oh! very good; that’s theatrical,—the finale of the + article.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel [continuing]. “‘In appointing Monsieur de la Billardiere + gentleman-in-ordinary—‘” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Very ordinary!” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “‘—of the Bedchamber, the King rewarded not only the + services rendered by the Provost, who knew how to harmonize the severity + of his functions with the customary urbanity of the Bourbons, but the + bravery of the Vendean hero, who never bent the knee to the imperial idol. + He leaves a son, who inherits his loyalty and his talents.’” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Don’t you think all that is a little too florid? I should tone + down the poetry. ‘Imperial idol!’ ‘bent the knee!’ damn it, my dear + fellow, writing vaudevilles has ruined your style; you can’t come down to + pedestrial prose. I should say, ‘He belonged to the small number of those + who.’ Simplify, simplify! the man himself was a simpleton.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “That’s vaudeville, if you like! You would make your fortune at + the theatre, Bixiou.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “What have you said about Quiberon?” [Reads over du Bruel’s + shoulder.] “Oh, that won’t do! Here, this is what you must say: ‘He took + upon himself, in a book recently published, the responsibility for all the + blunders of the expedition to Quiberon,—thus proving the nature of + his loyalty, which did not shrink from any sacrifice.’ That’s clever and + witty, and exalts La Billardiere.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “At whose expense?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [solemn as a priest in a pulpit]. “Why, Hoche and Tallien, of + course; don’t you read history?” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “No. I subscribed to the Baudouin series, but I’ve never had + time to open a volume; one can’t find matter for vaudevilles there.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [at the door]. “We all want to know, Monsieur Bixiou, what made + you think that the worthy and honorable Monsieur Rabourdin, who has so + long done the work of this division for Monsieur de la Billardiere,—he, + who is the senior head of all the bureaus, and whom, moreover, the + minister summoned as soon as he heard of the departure of the late + Monsieur de la Billardiere,—will not be appointed head of the + division.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Papa Phellion, you know geography?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [bridling up]. “I should say so!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “And history?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [affecting modesty]. “Possibly.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [looking fixedly at him]. “Your diamond pin is loose, it is coming + out. Well, you may know all that, but you don’t know the human heart; you + have gone no further in the geography and history of that organ than you + have in the environs of the city of Paris.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [to Vimeux]. “Environs of Paris? I thought they were talking of + Monsieur Rabourdin.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “About that bet? Does the entire bureau Rabourdin bet against me?” + </p> + <p> + All. “Yes.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Du Bruel, do you count in?” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “Of course I do. We want Rabourdin to go up a step and make room + for others.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Well, I accept the bet,—for this reason; you can hardly + understand it, but I’ll tell it to you all the same. It would be right and + just to appoint Monsieur Rabourdin” [looking full at Dutocq], “because, in + that case, long and faithful service, honor, and talent would be + recognized, appreciated, and properly rewarded. Such an appointment is in + the best interests of the administration.” [Phellion, Poiret, and + Thuillier listen stupidly, with the look of those who try to peer before + them in the darkness.] “Well, it is just because the promotion would be so + fitting, and because the man has such merit, and because the measure is so + eminently wise and equitable that I bet Rabourdin will not be appointed. + Yes, you’ll see, that appointment will slip up, just like the invasion + from Boulogne, and the march to Russia, for the success of which a great + genius has gathered together all the chances. It will fail as all good and + just things do fail in this low world. I am only backing the devil’s + game.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “Who do you think will be appointed?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “The more I think about Baudoyer, the more sure I feel that he + unites all the opposite qualities; therefore I think he will be the next + head of this division.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “But Monsieur des Lupeaulx, who sent for me to borrow my Charlet, + told me positively that Monsieur Rabourdin was appointed, and that the + little La Billardiere would be made Clerk of the Seals.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Appointed, indeed! The appointment can’t be made and signed under + ten days. It will certainly not be known before New-Year’s day. There he + goes now across the courtyard; look at him, and say if the virtuous + Rabourdin looks like a man in the sunshine of favor. I should say he knows + he’s dismissed.” [Fleury rushes to the window.] “Gentlemen, adieu; I’ll go + and tell Monsieur Baudoyer that I hear from you that Rabourdin is + appointed; it will make him furious, the pious creature! Then I’ll tell + him of our wager, to cool him down,—a process we call at the theatre + turning the Wheel of Fortune, don’t we, du Bruel? Why do I care who gets + the place? simply because if Baudoyer does he will make me + under-head-clerk” [goes out]. + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Everybody says that man is clever, but as for me, I can never + understand a word he says” [goes on copying]. “I listen and listen; I hear + words, but I never get at any meaning; he talks about the environs of + Paris when he discusses the human heart and” [lays down his pen and goes + to the stove] “declares he backs the devil’s game when it is a question of + Russia and Boulogne; now what is there so clever in that, I’d like to + know? We must first admit that the devil plays any game at all, and then + find out what game; possibly dominoes” [blows his nose]. + </p> + <p> + Fleury [interrupting]. “Pere Poiret is blowing his nose; it must be eleven + o’clock.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “So it is! Goodness! I’m off to the secretary; he wants to read + the obituary.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “What was I saying?” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “Dominoes,—perhaps the devil plays dominoes.” [Sebastien + enters to gather up the different papers and circulars for signature.] + </p> + <p> + Vimeux. “Ah! there you are, my fine young man. Your days of hardship are + nearly over; you’ll get a post. Monsieur Rabourdin will be appointed. + Weren’t you at Madame Rabourdin’s last night? Lucky fellow! they say that + really superb women go there.” + </p> + <p> + Sebastien. “Do they? I didn’t know.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Are you blind?” + </p> + <p> + Sebastien. “I don’t like to look at what I ought not to see.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [delighted]. “Well said, young man!” + </p> + <p> + Vimeux. “The devil! well, you looked at Madame Rabourdin enough, any how; + a charming woman.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Pooh! thin as a rail. I saw her in the Tuileries, and I much + prefer Percilliee, the ballet-mistress, Castaing’s victim.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “What has an actress to do with the wife of a government + official?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “They both play comedy.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [looking askance at Dutocq]. “The physical has nothing to do with + the moral, and if you mean—” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “I mean nothing.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Do you all want to know which of us will really be made head of + this bureau?” + </p> + <p> + All. “Yes, tell us.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Colleville.” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “Why?” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Because Madame Colleville has taken the shortest way to it—through + the sacristy.” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “I am too much Colleville’s friend not to beg you, Monsieur + Fleury, to speak respectfully of his wife.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “A defenceless woman should never be made the subject of + conversation here—” + </p> + <p> + Vimeux. “All the more because the charming Madame Colleville won’t invite + Fleury to her house. He backbites her in revenge.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “She may not receive me on the same footing that she does + Thuillier, but I go there—” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “When? how?—under her windows?” + </p> + <p> + Though Fleury was dreaded as a bully in all the offices, he received + Thuillier’s speech in silence. This meekness, which surprised the other + clerks, was owing to a certain note for two hundred francs, of doubtful + value, which Thuillier agreed to pass over to his sister. After this + skirmish dead silence prevailed. They all wrote steadily from one to three + o’clock. Du Bruel did not return. + </p> + <p> + About half-past three the usual preparations for departure, the brushing + of hats, the changing of coats, went on in all the ministerial offices. + That precious thirty minutes thus employed served to shorten by just so + much the day’s labor. At this hour the over-heated rooms cool off; the + peculiar odor that hangs about the bureaus evaporates; silence is + restored. By four o’clock none but a few clerks who do their duty + conscientiously remain. A minister may know who are the real workers under + him if he will take the trouble to walk through the divisions after four + o’clock,—a species of prying, however, that no one of his dignity + would condescend to. + </p> + <p> + The various heads of divisions and bureaus usually encountered each other + in the courtyards at this hour and exchanged opinions on the events of the + day. On this occasion they departed by twos and threes, most of them + agreeing in favor of Rabourdin; while the old stagers, like Monsieur + Clergeot, shook their heads and said, “Habent sua sidera lites.” Saillard + and Baudoyer were politely avoided, for nobody knew what to say to them + about La Billardiere’s death, it being fully understood that Baudoyer + wanted the place, though it was certainly not due to him. + </p> + <p> + When Saillard and his son-in-law had gone a certain distance from the + ministry the former broke silence and said: “Things look badly for you, my + poor Baudoyer.” + </p> + <p> + “I can’t understand,” replied the other, “what Elisabeth was dreaming of + when she sent Godard in such a hurry to get a passport for Falleix; Godard + tells me she hired a post-chaise by the advice of my uncle Mitral, and + that Falleix has already started for his own part of the country.” + </p> + <p> + “Some matter connected with our business,” suggested Saillard. + </p> + <p> + “Our most pressing business just now is to look after Monsieur La + Billardiere’s place,” returned Baudoyer, crossly. + </p> + <p> + They were just then near the entrance of the Palais-Royal on the rue + Saint-Honore. Dutocq came up, bowing, and joined them. + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur,” he said to Baudoyer, “if I can be useful to you in any way + under the circumstances in which you find yourself, pray command me, for I + am not less devoted to your interests than Monsieur Godard.” + </p> + <p> + “Such an assurance is at least consoling,” replied Baudoyer; “it makes me + aware that I have the confidence of honest men.” + </p> + <p> + “If you would kindly employ your influence to get me placed in your + division, taking Bixiou as head of the bureau and me as under-head-clerk, + you will secure the future of two men who are ready to do anything for + your advancement.” + </p> + <p> + “Are you making fun of us, monsieur?” asked Saillard, staring at him + stupidly. + </p> + <p> + “Far be it from me to do that,” said Dutocq. “I have just come from the + printing-office of the ministerial journal (where I carried from the + general-secretary an obituary notice of Monsieur de la Billardiere), and I + there read an article which will appear to-night about you, which has + given me the highest opinion of your character and talents. If it is + necessary to crush Rabourdin, I’m in a position to give him the final + blow; please to remember that.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq disappeared. + </p> + <p> + “May I be shot if I understand a single word of it,” said Saillard, + looking at Baudoyer, whose little eyes were expressive of stupid + bewilderment. “I must buy the newspaper to-night.” + </p> + <p> + When the two reached home and entered the salon on the ground-floor, they + found a large fire lighted, and Madame Saillard, Elisabeth, Monsieur + Gaudron and the curate of Saint-Paul’s sitting by it. The curate turned at + once to Monsieur Baudoyer, to whom Elisabeth made a sign which he failed + to understand. + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur,” said the curate, “I have lost no time in coming in person to + thank you for the magnificent gift with which you have adorned my poor + church. I dared not run in debt to buy that beautiful monstrance, worthy + of a cathedral. You, who are one of our most pious and faithful + parishioners, must have keenly felt the bareness of the high altar. I am + on my way to see Monseigneur the coadjutor, and he will, I am sure, send + you his own thanks later.” + </p> + <p> + “I have done nothing as yet—” began Baudoyer. + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur le cure,” interposed his wife, cutting him short. “I see I am + forced to betray the whole secret. Monsieur Baudoyer hopes to complete the + gift by sending you a dais for the coming Fete-Dieu. But the purchase must + depend on the state of our finances, and our finances depend on my + husband’s promotion.” + </p> + <p> + “God will reward those who honor him,” said Monsieur Gaudron, preparing, + with the curate, to take leave. + </p> + <p> + “But will you not,” said Saillard to the two ecclesiastics, “do us the + honor to take pot luck with us?” + </p> + <p> + “You can stay, my dear vicar,” said the curate to Gaudron; “you know I am + engaged to dine with the curate of Saint-Roch, who, by the bye, is to bury + Monsieur de la Billardiere to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur le cure de Saint-Roch might say a word for us,” began Baudoyer. + His wife pulled the skirt of his coat violently. + </p> + <p> + “Do hold your tongue, Baudoyer,” she said, leading him aside and + whispering in his ear. “You have given a monstrance to the church, that + cost five thousand francs. I’ll explain it all later.” + </p> + <p> + The miserly Baudoyer make a sulky grimace, and continued gloomy and cross + for the rest of the day. + </p> + <p> + “What did you busy yourself about Falleix’s passport for? Why do you + meddle in other people’s affairs?” he presently asked her. + </p> + <p> + “I must say, I think Falleix’s affairs are as much ours as his,” returned + Elisabeth, dryly, glancing at her husband to make him notice Monsieur + Gaudron, before whom he ought to be silent. + </p> + <p> + “Certainly, certainly,” said old Saillard, thinking of his co-partnership. + </p> + <p> + “I hope you reached the newspaper office in time?” remarked Elisabeth to + Monsieur Gaudron, as she helped him to soup. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, my dear lady,” answered the vicar; “when the editor read the little + article I gave him, written by the secretary of the Grand Almoner, he made + no difficulty. He took pains to insert it in a conspicuous place. I should + never have thought of that; but this young journalist has a wide-awake + mind. The defenders of religion can enter the lists against impiety + without disadvantage at the present moment, for there is a great deal of + talent in the royalist press. I have every reason to believe that success + will crown your hopes. But you must remember, my dear Baudoyer, to promote + Monsieur Colleville; he is an object of great interest to his Eminence; in + fact, I am desired to mention him to you.” + </p> + <p> + “If I am head of the division, I will make him head of one of my bureaus, + if you want me to,” said Baudoyer. + </p> + <p> + The matter thus referred to was explained after dinner, when the + ministerial organ (bought and sent up by the porter) proved to contain + among its Paris news the following articles, called items:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Monsieur le Baron de la Billardiere died this morning, after a + long and painful illness. The king loses a devoted servant, the + Church a most pious son. Monsieur de la Billardiere’s end has + fitly crowned a noble life, consecrated in dark and troublesome + times to perilous missions, and of late years to arduous civic + duties. Monsieur de la Billardiere was provost of a department, + where his force of character triumphed over all the obstacles that + rebellion arrayed against him. He subsequently accepted the + difficult post of director of a division (in which his great + acquirements were not less useful than the truly French affability + of his manners) for the express purpose of conciliating the + serious interests that arise under its administration. No rewards + have ever been more truly deserved than those by which the King, + Louis XVIII., and his present Majesty took pleasure in crowning a + loyalty which never faltered under the usurper. This old family + still survives in the person of a single heir to the excellent man + whose death now afflicts so many warm friends. His Majesty has + already graciously made known that Monsieur Benjamin de la + Billardiere will be included among the gentlemen-in-ordinary of + the Bedchamber. + + “The numerous friends who have not already received their + notification of this sad event are hereby informed that the + funeral will take place to-morrow at four o’clock, in the church + of Saint-Roch. The memorial address will be delivered by Monsieur + l’Abbe Fontanon.”—— + + “Monsieur Isidore-Charles-Thomas Baudoyer, representing one of the + oldest bourgeois families of Paris, and head of a bureau in the + late Monsieur de la Billardiere’s division, has lately recalled + the old traditions of piety and devotion which formerly + distinguished these great families, so jealous for the honor and + glory of religion, and so faithful in preserving its monuments. + The church of Saint-Paul has long needed a monstrance in keeping + with the magnificence of that basilica, itself due to the Company + of Jesus. Neither the vestry nor the curate were rich enough to + decorate the altar. Monsieur Baudoyer has bestowed upon the parish + a monstrance that many persons have seen and admired at Monsieur + Gohier’s, the king’s jeweller. Thanks to the piety of this + gentleman, who did not shrink from the immensity of the price, the + church of Saint-Paul possesses to-day a masterpiece of the + jeweller’s art designed by Monsieur de Sommervieux. It gives us + pleasure to make known this fact, which proves how powerless the + declamations of liberals have been on the mind of the Parisian + bourgeoisie. The upper ranks of that body have at all times been + royalist and they prove it when occasion offers.” + </pre> + <p> + “The price was five thousand francs,” said the Abbe Gaudron; “but as the + payment was in cash, the court jeweller reduced the amount.” + </p> + <p> + “Representing one of the oldest bourgeois families in Paris!” Saillard was + saying to himself; “there it is printed,—in the official paper, + too!” + </p> + <p> + “Dear Monsieur Gaudron,” said Madame Baudoyer, “please help my father to + compose a little speech that he could slip into the countess’s ear when he + takes her the monthly stipend,—a single sentence that would cover + all! I must leave you. I am obliged to go out with my uncle Mitral. Would + you believe it? I was unable to find my uncle Bidault at home this + afternoon. Oh, what a dog-kennel he lives in! But Monsieur Mitral, who + knows his ways, says he does all his business between eight o’clock in the + morning and midday, and that after that hour he can be found only at a + certain cafe called the Cafe Themis,—a singular name.” + </p> + <p> + “Is justice done there?” said the abbe, laughing. + </p> + <p> + “Do you ask why he goes to a cafe at the corner of the rue Dauphine and + the quai des Augustins? They say he plays dominoes there every night with + his friend Monsieur Gobseck. I don’t wish to go to such a place alone; my + uncle Mitral will take me there and bring me back.” + </p> + <p> + At this instant Mitral showed his yellow face, surmounted by a wig which + looked as though it might be made of hay, and made a sign to his niece to + come at once, and not keep a carriage waiting at two francs an hour. + Madame Baudoyer rose and went away without giving any explanation to her + husband or father. + </p> + <p> + “Heaven has given you in that woman,” said Monsieur Gaudron to Baudoyer + when Elisabeth had disappeared, “a perfect treasure of prudence and + virtue, a model of wisdom, a Christian who gives sure signs of possessing + the Divine spirit. Religion alone is able to form such perfect characters. + To-morrow I shall say a mass for the success of your good cause. It is + all-important, for the sake of the monarchy and of religion itself that + you should receive this appointment. Monsieur Rabourdin is a liberal; he + subscribes to the ‘Journal des Debats,’ a dangerous newspaper, which made + war on Monsieur le Comte de Villele to please the wounded vanity of + Monsieur de Chateaubriand. His Eminence will read the newspaper to-night, + if only to see what is said of his poor friend Monsieur de la Billardiere; + and Monseigneur the coadjutor will speak of you to the King. When I think + of what you have now done for his dear church, I feel sure he will not + forget you in his prayers; more than that, he is dining at this moment + with the coadjutor at the house of the curate of Saint-Roch.” + </p> + <p> + These words made Saillard and Baudoyer begin to perceive that Elisabeth + had not been idle ever since Godard had informed her of Monsieur de la + Billardiere’s decease. + </p> + <p> + “Isn’t she clever, that Elisabeth of mine?” cried Saillard, comprehending + more clearly than Monsieur l’abbe the rapid undermining, like the path of + a mole, which his daughter had undertaken. + </p> + <p> + “She sent Godard to Rabourdin’s door to find out what newspaper he takes,” + said Gaudron; “and I mentioned the name to the secretary of his Eminence,—for + we live at a crisis when the Church and Throne must keep themselves + informed as to who are their friends and who their enemies.” + </p> + <p> + “For the last five days I have been trying to find the right thing to say + to his Excellency’s wife,” said Saillard. + </p> + <p> + “All Paris will read that,” cried Baudoyer, whose eyes were still riveted + on the paper. + </p> + <p> + “Your eulogy costs us four thousand eight hundred francs, son-in-law!” + exclaimed Madame Saillard. + </p> + <p> + “You have adorned the house of God,” said the Abbe Gaudron. + </p> + <p> + “We might have got salvation without doing that,” she returned. “But if + Baudoyer gets the place, which is worth eight thousand more, the sacrifice + is not so great. If he doesn’t get it! hey, papa,” she added, looking at + her husband, “how we shall have bled!—” + </p> + <p> + “Well, never mind,” said Saillard, enthusiastically, “we can always make + it up through Falleix, who is going to extend his business and use his + brother, whom he has made a stockbroker on purpose. Elisabeth might have + told us, I think, why Falleix went off in such a hurry. But let’s invent + my little speech. This is what I thought of: ‘Madame, if you would say a + word to his Excellency—‘” + </p> + <p> + “‘If you would deign,’” said Gaudron; “add the word ‘deign,’ it is more + respectful. But you ought to know, first of all, whether Madame la + Dauphine will grant you her protection, and then you could suggest to + Madame la comtesse the idea of co-operating with the wishes of her Royal + Highness.” + </p> + <p> + “You ought to designate the vacant post,” said Baudoyer. + </p> + <p> + “‘Madame la comtesse,’” began Saillard, rising, and bowing to his wife, + with an agreeable smile. + </p> + <p> + “Goodness! Saillard; how ridiculous you look. Take care, my man, you’ll + make the woman laugh.” + </p> + <p> + “‘Madame la comtesse,’” resumed Saillard. “Is that better, wife?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, my duck.” + </p> + <p> + “‘The place of the worthy Monsieur de la Billardiere is vacant; my + son-in-law, Monsieur Baudoyer—‘” + </p> + <p> + “‘Man of talent and extreme piety,’” prompted Gaudron. + </p> + <p> + “Write it down, Baudoyer,” cried old Saillard, “write that sentence down.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer proceeded to take a pen and wrote, without a blush, his own + praises, precisely as Nathan or Canalis might have reviewed one of their + own books. + </p> + <p> + “‘Madame la comtesse’—Don’t you see, mother?” said Saillard to his + wife; “I am supposing you to be the minister’s wife.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you take me for a fool?” she answered sharply. “I know that.” + </p> + <p> + “‘The place of the late worthy de la Billardiere is vacant; my son-in-law, + Monsieur Baudoyer, a man of consummate talent and extreme piety—‘” + After looking at Monsieur Gaudron, who was reflecting, he added, “‘will be + very glad if he gets it.’ That’s not bad; it’s brief and it says the whole + thing.” + </p> + <p> + “But do wait, Saillard; don’t you see that Monsieur l’abbe is turning it + over in his mind?” said Madame Saillard; “don’t disturb him.” + </p> + <p> + “‘Will be very thankful if you would deign to interest yourself in his + behalf,’” resumed Gaudron. “‘And in saying a word to his Excellency you + will particularly please Madame la Dauphine, by whom he has the honor and + the happiness to be protected.’” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! Monsieur Gaudron, that sentence is worth more than the monstrance; I + don’t regret the four thousand eight hundred—Besides, Baudoyer, my + lad, you’ll pay them, won’t you? Have you written it all down?” + </p> + <p> + “I shall make you repeat it, father, morning and evening,” said Madame + Saillard. “Yes, that’s a good speech. How lucky you are, Monsieur Gaudron, + to know so much. That’s what it is to be brought up in a seminary; they + learn there how to speak to God and his saints.” + </p> + <p> + “He is as good as he is learned,” said Baudoyer, pressing the priest’s + hand. “Did you write that article?” he added, pointing to the newspaper. + </p> + <p> + “No, it was written by the secretary of his Eminence, a young abbe who is + under obligations to me, and who takes an interest in Monsieur Colleville; + he was educated at my expense.” + </p> + <p> + “A good deed is always rewarded,” said Baudoyer. + </p> + <p> + While these four personages were sitting down to their game of boston, + Elisabeth and her uncle Mitral reached the cafe Themis, with much + discourse as they drove along about a matter which Elisabeth’s keen + perceptions told her was the most powerful lever that could be used to + force the minister’s hand in the affair of her husband’s appointment. + Uncle Mitral, a former sheriff’s officer, crafty, clever at sharp + practice, and full of expedients and judicial precautions, believed the + honor of his family to be involved in the appointment of his nephew. His + avarice had long led him to estimate the contents of old Gigonnet’s + strong-box, for he knew very well they would go in the end to benefit his + nephew Baudoyer; and it was therefore important that the latter should + obtain a position which would be in keeping with the combined fortunes of + the Saillards and the old Gigonnet, which would finally devolve on the + Baudoyer’s little daughter; and what an heiress she would be with an + income of a hundred thousand francs! to what social position might she not + aspire with that fortune? He adopted all the ideas of his niece Elisabeth + and thoroughly understood them. He had helped in sending off Falleix + expeditiously, explaining to him the advantage of taking post horses. + After which, while eating his dinner, he reflected that it be as well to + give a twist of his own to the clever plan invented by Elisabeth. + </p> + <p> + When they reached the Cafe Themis he told his niece that he alone could + manage Gigonnet in the matter they both had in view, and he made her wait + in the hackney-coach and bide her time to come forward at the right + moment. Elisabeth saw through the window-panes the two faces of Gobseck + and Gigonnet (her uncle Bidault), which stood out in relief against the + yellow wood-work of the old cafe, like two cameo heads, cold and + impassible, in the rigid attitude that their gravity gave them. The two + Parisian misers were surrounded by a number of other old faces, on which + “thirty per cent discount” was written in circular wrinkles that started + from the nose and turned round the glacial cheek-bones. These remarkable + physiognomies brightened up on seeing Mitral, and their eyes gleamed with + tigerish curiosity. + </p> + <p> + “Hey, hey! it is papa Mitral!” cried one of them, named Chaboisseau, a + little old man who discounted for a publisher. + </p> + <p> + “Bless me, so it is!” said another, a broker named Metivier, “ha, that’s + an old monkey well up in his tricks.” + </p> + <p> + “And you,” retorted Mitral, “you are an old crow who knows all about + carcasses.” + </p> + <p> + “True,” said the stern Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “What are you here for? Have you come to seize friend Metivier?” asked + Gigonnet, pointing to the broker, who had the bluff face of a porter. + </p> + <p> + “Your great-niece Elisabeth is out there, papa Gigonnet,” whispered + Mitral. + </p> + <p> + “What! some misfortune?” said Bidault. The old man drew his eyebrows + together and assumed a tender look like that of an executioner when about + to go to work officially. In spite of his Roman virtue he must have been + touched, for his red nose lost somewhat of its color. + </p> + <p> + “Well, suppose it is misfortune, won’t you help Saillard’s daughter?—a + girl who has knitted your stockings for the last thirty years!” cried + Mitral. + </p> + <p> + “If there’s good security I don’t say I won’t,” replied Gigonnet. “Falleix + is in with them. Falleix has just set up his brother as a broker, and he + is doing as much business as the Brezacs; and what with? his mind, + perhaps! Saillard is no simpleton.” + </p> + <p> + “He knows the value of money,” put in Chaboisseau. + </p> + <p> + That remark, uttered among those old men, would have made an artist and + thinker shudder as they all nodded their heads. + </p> + <p> + “But it is none of my business,” resumed Bidault-Gigonnet. “I’m not bound + to care for my neighbors’ misfortunes. My principle is never to be off my + guard with friends or relatives; you can’t perish except through weakness. + Apply to Gobseck; he is softer.” + </p> + <p> + The usurers all applauded these doctrines with a shake of their metallic + heads. An onlooker would have fancied he heard the creaking of ill-oiled + machinery. + </p> + <p> + “Come, Gigonnet, show a little feeling,” said Chaboisseau, “they’ve knit + your stockings for thirty years.” + </p> + <p> + “That counts for something,” remarked Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “Are you all alone? Is it safe to speak?” said Mitral, looking carefully + about him. “I come about a good piece of business.” + </p> + <p> + “If it is good, why do you come to us?” said Gigonnet, sharply, + interrupting Mitral. + </p> + <p> + “A fellow who was a gentleman of the Bedchamber,” went on Mitral, “a + former ‘chouan,’—what’s his name?—La Billardiere is dead.” + </p> + <p> + “True,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “And our nephew is giving monstrances to the church,” snarled Gigonnet. + </p> + <p> + “He is not such a fool as to give them, he sells them, old man,” said + Mitral, proudly. “He wants La Billardiere’s place, and in order to get it, + we must seize—” + </p> + <p> + “Seize! You’ll never be anything but a sheriff’s officer,” put in + Metivier, striking Mitral amicably on the shoulder; “I like that, I do!” + </p> + <p> + “Seize Monsieur Clement des Lupeaulx in our clutches,” continued Mitral; + “Elisabeth has discovered how to do it, and he is—” + </p> + <p> + “Elisabeth”; cried Gigonnet, interrupting again; “dear little creature! + she takes after her grandfather, my poor brother! he never had his equal! + Ah, you should have seen him buying up old furniture; what tact! what + shrewdness! What does Elisabeth want?” + </p> + <p> + “Hey! hey!” cried Mitral, “you’ve got back your bowels of compassion, papa + Gigonnet! That phenomenon has a cause.” + </p> + <p> + “Always a child,” said Gobseck to Gigonnet, “you are too quick on the + trigger.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, Gobseck and Gigonnet, listen to me; you want to keep well with des + Lupeaulx, don’t you? You’ve not forgotten how you plucked him in that + affair about the king’s debts, and you are afraid he’ll ask you to return + some of his feathers,” said Mitral. + </p> + <p> + “Shall we tell him the whole thing?” asked Gobseck, whispering to + Gigonnet. + </p> + <p> + “Mitral is one of us; he wouldn’t play a shabby trick on his former + customers,” replied Gigonnet. “You see, Mitral,” he went on, speaking to + the ex-sheriff in a low voice, “we three have just bought up all those + debts, the payment of which depends on the decision of the liquidation + committee.” + </p> + <p> + “How much will you lose?” asked Mitral. + </p> + <p> + “Nothing,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “Nobody knows we are in it,” added Gigonnet; “Samanon screens us.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, listen to me, Gigonnet; it is cold, and your niece is waiting + outside. You’ll understand what I want in two words. You must at once, + between you, send two hundred and fifty thousand francs (without interest) + into the country after Falleix, who has gone post-haste, with a courier in + advance of him.” + </p> + <p> + “Is it possible!” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “What for?” cried Gigonnet, “and where to?” + </p> + <p> + “To des Lupeaulx’s magnificent country-seat,” replied Mitral. “Falleix + knows the country, for he was born there; and he is going to buy up land + all round the secretary’s miserable hovel, with the two hundred and fifty + thousand francs I speak of,—good land, well worth the price. There + are only nine days before us for drawing up and recording the notarial + deeds (bear that in mind). With the addition of this land, des Lupeaulx’s + present miserable property would pay taxes to the amount of one thousand + francs, the sum necessary to make a man eligible to the Chamber. Ergo, + with it des Lupeaulx goes into the electoral college, becomes eligible, + count, and whatever he pleases. You know the deputy who has slipped out + and left a vacancy, don’t you?” + </p> + <p> + The two misers nodded. + </p> + <p> + “Des Lupeaulx would cut off a leg to get elected in his place,” continued + Mitral; “but he must have the title-deeds of the property in his own name, + and then mortgage them back to us for the amount of the purchase-money. + Ah! now you begin to see what I am after! First of all, we must make sure + of Baudoyer’s appointment, and des Lupeaulx will get it for us on these + terms; after that is settled we will hand him back to you. Falleix is now + canvassing the electoral vote. Don’t you perceive that you have Lupeaulx + completely in your power until after the election?—for Falleix’s + friends are a large majority. Now do you see what I mean, papa Gigonnet?” + </p> + <p> + “It’s a clever game,” said Metivier. + </p> + <p> + “We’ll do it,” said Gigonnet; “you agree, don’t you, Gobseck? Falleix can + give us security and put mortgages on the property in my name; we’ll go + and see des Lupeaulx when all is ready.” + </p> + <p> + “We’re robbed,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha!” laughed Mitral, “I’d like to know the robber!” + </p> + <p> + “Nobody can rob us but ourselves,” answered Gigonnet. “I told you we were + doing a good thing in buying up all des Lupeaulx’s paper from his + creditors at sixty per cent discount.” + </p> + <p> + “Take this mortgage on his estate and you’ll hold him tighter still + through the interest,” answered Mitral. + </p> + <p> + “Possibly,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + After exchanging a shrewd look with Gobseck, Gigonnet went to the door of + the cafe. + </p> + <p> + “Elisabeth! follow it up, my dear,” he said to his niece. “We hold your + man securely; but don’t neglect accessories. You have begun well, clever + woman! go on as you began and you’ll have your uncle’s esteem,” and he + grasped her hand, gayly. + </p> + <p> + “But,” said Mitral, “Metivier and Chaboisseau heard it all, and they may + play us a trick and tell the matter to some opposition journal which would + catch the ball on its way and counteract the effect of the ministerial + article. You must go alone, my dear; I dare not let those two cormorants + out of my sight.” So saying he re-entered the cafe. + </p> + <p> + The next day the numerous subscribers to a certain liberal journal read, + among the Paris items, the following article, inserted authoritatively by + Chaboisseau and Metivier, share-holders in the said journal, brokers for + publishers, printers, and paper-makers, whose behests no editor dared + refuse:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Yesterday a ministerial journal plainly indicated as the probable + successor of Monsieur le Baron de la Billardiere, Monsieur + Baudoyer, one of the worthiest citizens of a populous quarter, + where his benevolence is scarcely less known than the piety on + which the ministerial organ laid so much stress. Why was that + sheet silent as to his talents? Did it reflect that in boasting of + the bourgeoise nobility of Monsieur Baudoyer—which, certainly, is + a nobility as good as any other—it was pointing out a reason for + the exclusion of the candidate? A gratuitous piece of perfidy! an + attempt to kill with a caress! To appoint Monsieur Baudoyer is to + do honor to the virtues, the talents of the middle classes, of + whom we shall ever be the supporters, though their cause seems at + times a lost one. This appointment, we repeat, will be an act of + justice and good policy; consequently we may be sure it will not + be made.” + </pre> + <p> + On the morrow, Friday, the usual day for the dinner given by Madame + Rabourdin, whom des Lupeaulx had left at midnight, radiant in beauty, on + the staircase of the Bouffons, arm in arm with Madame de Camps (Madame + Firmiani had lately married), the old roue awoke with his thoughts of + vengeance calmed, or rather refreshed, and his mind full of a last glance + exchanged with Celestine. + </p> + <p> + “I’ll make sure of Rabourdin’s support by forgiving him now,—I’ll + get even with him later. If he hasn’t this place for the time being I + should have to give up a woman who is capable of becoming a most precious + instrument in the pursuit of high political fortune. She understands + everything; shrinks from nothing, from no idea whatever!—and + besides, I can’t know before his Excellency what new scheme of + administration Rabourdin has invented. No, my dear des Lupeaulx, the thing + in hand is to win all now for your Celestine. You may make as many faces + as you please, Madame la comtesse, but you will invite Madame Rabourdin to + your next select party.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx was one of those men who to satisfy a passion are quite able + to put away revenge in some dark corner of their minds. His course was + taken; he was resolved to get Rabourdin appointed. + </p> + <p> + “I will prove to you, my dear fellow, that I deserve a good place in your + galley,” thought he as he seated himself in his study and began to unfold + a newspaper. + </p> + <p> + He knew so well what the ministerial organ would contain that he rarely + took the trouble to read it, but on this occasion he did open it to look + at the article on La Billardiere, recollecting with amusement the dilemma + in which du Bruel had put him by bringing him the night before Bixiou’s + amendments to the obituary. He was laughing to himself as he reread the + biography of the late Comte da Fontaine, dead a few months earlier, which + he had hastily substituted for that of La Billardiere, when his eyes were + dazzled by the name of Baudoyer. He read with fury the article which + pledged the minister, and then he rang violently for Dutocq, to send him + at once to the editor. But what was his astonishment on reading the reply + of the opposition paper! The situation was evidently serious. He knew the + game, and he saw that the man who was shuffling his cards for him was a + Greek of the first order. To dictate in this way through two opposing + newspapers in one evening, and to begin the fight by forestalling the + intentions of the minister was a daring game! He recognized the pen of a + liberal editor, and resolved to question him that night at the opera. + Dutocq appeared. + </p> + <p> + “Read that,” said des Lupeaulx, handing him over the two journals, and + continuing to run his eye over others to see if Baudoyer had pulled any + further wires. “Go to the office and ask who has dared to thus compromise + the minister.” + </p> + <p> + “It was not Monsieur Baudoyer himself,” answered Dutocq, “for he never + left the ministry yesterday. I need not go and inquire; for when I took + your article to the newspaper office I met a young abbe who brought in a + letter from the Grand Almoner, before which you yourself would have had to + bow.” + </p> + <p> + “Dutocq, you have a grudge against Monsieur Rabourdin, and it isn’t right; + for he has twice saved you from being turned out. However, we are not + masters of our own feelings; we sometimes hate our benefactors. Only, + remember this; if you show the slightest treachery to Rabourdin, without + my permission, it will be your ruin. As to that newspaper, let the Grand + Almoner subscribe as largely as we do, if he wants its services. Here we + are at the end of the year; the matter of subscriptions will come up for + discussion, and I shall have something to say on that head. As to La + Billardiere’s place, there is only one way to settle the matter; and that + is to appoint Rabourdin this very day.” + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” said Dutocq, returning to the clerks’ office and addressing + his colleagues. “I don’t know if Bixiou has the art of looking into + futurity, but if you have not read the ministerial journal I advise you to + study the article about Baudoyer; then, as Monsieur Fleury takes the + opposition sheet, you can see the reply. Monsieur Rabourdin certainly has + talent, but a man who in these days gives a six-thousand-franc monstrance + to the Church has a devilish deal more talent than he.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [entering]. “What say you, gentlemen, to the First Epistle to the + Corinthians in our pious ministerial journal, and the reply Epistle to the + Ministers in the opposition sheet? How does Monsieur Rabourdin feel now, + du Bruel?” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel [rushing in]. “I don’t know.” [He drags Bixiou back into his + cabinet, and says in a low voice] “My good fellow, your way of helping + people is like that of the hangman who jumps upon a victim’s shoulders to + break his neck. You got me into a scrape with des Lupeaulx, which my folly + in ever trusting you richly deserved. A fine thing indeed, that article on + La Billardiere. I sha’n’t forget the trick! Why, the very first sentence + was as good as telling the King he was superannuated and it was time for + him to die. And as to that Quiberon bit, it said plainly that the King was + a—What a fool I was!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [laughing]. “Bless my heart! are you getting angry? Can’t a fellow + joke any more?” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “Joke! joke indeed. When you want to be made head-clerk somebody + shall joke with you, my dear fellow.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [in a bullying tone]. “Angry, are we?” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel. “Yes!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [dryly]. “So much the worse for you.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel [uneasy]. “You wouldn’t pardon such a thing yourself, I know.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [in a wheedling tone]. “To a friend? indeed I would.” [They hear + Fleury’s voice.] “There’s Fleury cursing Baudoyer. Hey, how well the thing + has been managed! Baudoyer will get the appointment.” [Confidentially] + “After all, so much the better. Du Bruel, just keep your eye on the + consequences. Rabourdin would be a mean-spirited creature to stay under + Baudoyer; he will send in his registration, and that will give us two + places. You can be head of the bureau and take me for under-head-clerk. We + will make vaudevilles together, and I’ll fag at your work in the office.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel [smiling]. “Dear me, I never thought of that. Poor Rabourdin! I + shall be sorry for him, though.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “That shows how much you love him!” [Changing his tone] “Ah, well, + I don’t pity him any longer. He’s rich; his wife gives parties and doesn’t + ask me,—me, who go everywhere! Well, good-bye, my dear fellow, + good-bye, and don’t owe me a grudge!” [He goes out through the clerks’ + office.] “Adieu, gentlemen; didn’t I tell you yesterday that a man who has + nothing but virtues and talents will always be poor, even though he has a + pretty wife?” + </p> + <p> + Henry. “You are so rich, you!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Not bad, my Cincinnatus! But you’ll give me that dinner at the + Rocher de Cancale.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “It is absolutely impossible for me to understand Monsieur + Bixiou.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [with an elegaic air]. “Monsieur Rabourdin so seldom reads the + newspapers that it might perhaps be serviceable to deprive ourselves + momentarily by taking them in to him.” [Fleury hands over his paper, + Vimeux the office sheet, and Phellion departs with them.] + </p> + <p> + At that moment des Lupeaulx, coming leisurely downstairs to breakfast with + the minister, was asking himself whether, before playing a trump card for + the husband, it might not be prudent to probe the wife’s heart and make + sure of a reward for his devotion. He was feeling about for the small + amount of heart that he possessed, when, at a turn of the staircase, he + encountered his lawyer, who said to him, smiling, “Just a word, + Monseigneur,” in the tone of familiarity assumed by men who know they are + indispensable. + </p> + <p> + “What is it, my dear Desroches?” exclaimed the politician. “Has anything + happened?” + </p> + <p> + “I have come to tell you that all your notes and debts have been brought + up by Gobseck and Gigonnet, under the name of a certain Samanon.” + </p> + <p> + “Men whom I helped to make their millions!” + </p> + <p> + “Listen,” whispered the lawyer. “Gigonnet (really named Bidault) is the + uncle of Saillard, your cashier; and Saillard is father-in-law to a + certain Baudoyer, who thinks he has a right to the vacant place in your + ministry. Don’t you think I have done right to come and tell you?” + </p> + <p> + “Thank you,” said des Lupeaulx, nodding to the lawyer with a shrewd look. + </p> + <p> + “One stroke of your pen will buy them off,” said Desroches, leaving him. + </p> + <p> + “What an immense sacrifice!” muttered des Lupeaulx. “It would be + impossible to explain it to a woman,” thought he. “Is Celestine worth more + than the clearing off of my debts?—that is the question. I’ll go and + see her this morning.” + </p> + <p> + So the beautiful Madame Rabourdin was to be, within an hour, the arbiter + of her husband’s fate, and no power on earth could warn her of the + importance of her replies, or give her the least hint to guard her conduct + and compose her voice. Moreover, in addition to her mischances, she + believed herself certain of success, never dreaming that Rabourdin was + undermined in all directions by the secret sapping of the mollusks. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Monseigneur,” said des Lupeaulx, entering the little salon where + they breakfasted, “have you seen the articles on Baudoyer?” + </p> + <p> + “For God’s sake, my dear friend,” replied the minister, “don’t talk of + those appointments just now; let me have an hour’s peace! They cracked my + ears last night with that monstrance. The only way to save Rabourdin is to + bring his appointment before the Council, unless I submit to having my + hand forced. It is enough to disgust a man with the public service. I must + purchase the right to keep that excellent Rabourdin by promoting a certain + Colleville!” + </p> + <p> + “Why not make over the management of this pretty little comedy to me, and + rid yourself of the worry of it? I’ll amuse you every morning with an + account of the game of chess I should play with the Grand Almoner,” said + des Lupeaulx. + </p> + <p> + “Very good,” said the minister, “settle it with the head examiner. But you + know perfectly well that nothing is more likely to strike the king’s mind + than just those reasons the opposition journal has chosen to put forth. + Good heavens! fancy managing a ministry with such men as Baudoyer under + me!” + </p> + <p> + “An imbecile bigot,” said des Lupeaulx, “and as utterly incapable as—” + </p> + <p> + “—as La Billardiere,” added the minister. + </p> + <p> + “But La Billardiere had the manners of a gentleman-in-ordinary,” replied + des Lupeaulx. “Madame,” he continued, addressing the countess, “it is now + an absolute necessity to invite Madame Rabourdin to your next private + party. I must assure you she is the intimate friend of Madame de Camps; + they were at the Opera together last night. I first met her at the hotel + Firmiani. Besides, you will see that she is not of a kind to compromise a + salon.” + </p> + <p> + “Invite Madame Rabourdin, my dear,” said the minister, “and pray let us + talk of something else.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0007" id="link2HCH0007"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VII. SCENES FROM DOMESTIC LIFE + </h2> + <p> + Parisian households are literally eaten up with the desire to be in + keeping with the luxury that surrounds them on all sides, and few there + are who have the wisdom to let their external situation conform to their + internal revenue. But this vice may perhaps denote a truly French + patriotism, which seeks to maintain the supremacy of the nation in the + matter of dress. France reigns through clothes over the whole of Europe; + and every one must feel the importance of retaining a commercial sceptre + that makes fashion in France what the navy is to England. This patriotic + ardor which leads a nation to sacrifice everything to appearances—to + the “paroistre,” as d’Aubigne said in the days of Henri IV.—is the + cause of those vast secret labors which employ the whole of a Parisian + woman’s morning, when she wishes, as Madame Rabourdin wished, to keep up + on twelve thousand francs a year the style that many a family with thirty + thousand does not indulge in. Consequently, every Friday,—the day of + her dinner parties,—Madame Rabourdin helped the chambermaid to do + the rooms; for the cook went early to market, and the man-servant was + cleaning the silver, folding the napkins, and polishing the glasses. The + ill-advised individual who might happen, through an oversight of the + porter, to enter Madame Rabourdin’s establishment about eleven o’clock in + the morning would have found her in the midst of a disorder the reverse of + picturesque, wrapped in a dressing-gown, her hair ill-dressed, and her + feet in old slippers, attending to the lamps, arranging the flowers, or + cooking in haste an extremely unpoetic breakfast. The visitor to whom the + mysteries of Parisian life were unknown would certainly have learned for + the rest of his life not to set foot in these greenrooms at the wrong + moment; a woman caught in her matin mysteries would ever after point him + out as a man capable of the blackest crimes; or she would talk of his + stupidity and indiscretion in a manner to ruin him. The true Parisian + woman, indulgent to all curiosity that she can put to profit, is + implacable to that which makes her lose her prestige. Such a domiciliary + invasion may be called, not only (as they say in police reports) an attack + on privacy, but a burglary, a robbery of all that is most precious, + namely, CREDIT. A woman is quite willing to let herself be surprised + half-dressed, with her hair about her shoulders. If her hair is all her + own she scores one; but she will never allow herself to be seen “doing” + her own rooms, or she loses her pariostre,—that precious + /seeming-to-be/! + </p> + <p> + Madame Rabourdin was in full tide of preparation for her Friday dinner, + standing in the midst of provisions the cook had just fished from the vast + ocean of the markets, when Monsieur des Lupeaulx made his way stealthily + in. The general-secretary was certainly the last man Madame Rabourdin + expected to see, and so, when she heard his boots creaking in the + ante-chamber, she exclaimed, impatiently, “The hair-dresser already!”—an + exclamation as little agreeable to des Lupeaulx as the sight of des + Lupeaulx was agreeable to her. She immediately escaped into her bedroom, + where chaos reigned; a jumble of furniture to be put out of sight, with + other heterogeneous articles of more or rather less elegance,—a + domestic carnival, in short. The bold des Lupeaulx followed the handsome + figure, so piquant did she seem to him in her dishabille. There is + something indescribably alluring to the eye in a portion of flesh seen + through an hiatus in the undergarment, more attractive far than when it + rises gracefully above the circular curve of the velvet bodice, to the + vanishing line of the prettiest swan’s-neck that ever lover kissed before + a ball. When the eye dwells on a woman in full dress making exhibition of + her magnificent white shoulders, do we not fancy that we see the elegant + dessert of a grand dinner? But the glance that glides through the disarray + of muslins rumpled in sleep enjoys, as it were, a feast of stolen fruit + glowing between the leaves on a garden wall. + </p> + <p> + “Stop! wait!” cried the pretty Parisian, bolting the door of the + disordered room. + </p> + <p> + She rang for Therese, called for her daughter, the cook, and the + man-servant, wishing she possessed the whistle of the machinist at the + Opera. Her call, however, answered the same purpose. In a moment, another + phenomenon! the salon assumed a piquant morning look, quite in keeping + with the becoming toilet hastily got together by the fugitive; we say it + to her glory, for she was evidently a clever woman, in this at least. + </p> + <p> + “You!” she said, coming forward, “at this hour? What has happened?” + </p> + <p> + “Very serious things,” answered des Lupeaulx. “You and I must understand + each other now.” + </p> + <p> + Celestine looked at the man behind his glasses, and understood the matter. + </p> + <p> + “My principle vice,” she said, “is oddity. For instance, I do not mix up + affections with politics; let us talk politics,—business, if you + will,—the rest can come later. However, it is not really oddity nor + a whim that forbids me to mingle ill-assorted colors and put together + things that have no affinity, and compels me to avoid discords; it is my + natural instinct as an artist. We women have politics of our own.” + </p> + <p> + Already the tones of her voice and the charm of her manners were producing + their effect on the secretary and metamorphosing his roughness into + sentimental courtesy; she had recalled him to his obligations as a lover. + A clever pretty woman makes an atmosphere about her in which the nerves + relax and the feelings soften. + </p> + <p> + “You are ignorant of what is happening,” said des Lupeaulx, harshly, for + he still thought it best to make a show of harshness. “Read that.” + </p> + <p> + He gave the two newspapers to the graceful woman, having drawn a line in + red ink round each of the famous articles. + </p> + <p> + “Good heavens!” she exclaimed, “but this is dreadful! Who is this + Baudoyer?” + </p> + <p> + “A donkey,” answered des Lupeaulx; “but, as you see, he uses means,—he + gives monstrances; he succeeds, thanks to some clever hand that pulls the + wires.” + </p> + <p> + The thought of her debts crossed Madame Rabourdin’s mind and blurred her + sight, as if two lightning flashes had blinded her eyes at the same + moment; her ears hummed under the pressure of the blood that began to beat + in her arteries; she remained for a moment quite bewildered, gazing at a + window which she did not see. + </p> + <p> + “But are you faithful to us?” she said at last, with a winning glance at + des Lupeaulx, as if to attach him to her. + </p> + <p> + “That is as it may be,” he replied, answering her glance with an + interrogative look which made the poor woman blush. + </p> + <p> + “If you demand caution-money you may lose all,” she said, laughing; “I + thought you more magnanimous than you are. And you, you thought me less a + person than I am,—a sort of school-girl.” + </p> + <p> + “You have misunderstood me,” he said, with a covert smile; “I meant that I + could not assist a man who plays against me just as l’Etourdi played + against Mascarille.” + </p> + <p> + “What can you mean?” + </p> + <p> + “This will prove to you whether I am magnanimous or not.” + </p> + <p> + He gave Madame Rabourdin the memorandum stolen by Dutocq, pointing out to + her the passage in which her husband had so ably analyzed him. + </p> + <p> + “Read that.” + </p> + <p> + Celestine recognized the handwriting, read the paper, and turned pale + under the blow. + </p> + <p> + “All the ministries, the whole service is treated in the same way,” said + des Lupeaulx. + </p> + <p> + “Happily,” she said, “you alone possess this document. I cannot explain + it, even to myself.” + </p> + <p> + “The man who stole it is not such a fool as to let me have it without + keeping a copy for himself; he is too great a liar to admit it, and too + clever in his business to give it up. I did not even ask him for it.” + </p> + <p> + “Who is he?” + </p> + <p> + “Your chief clerk.” + </p> + <p> + “Dutocq! People are always punished through their kindnesses! But,” she + added, “he is only a dog who wants a bone.” + </p> + <p> + “Do you know what the other side offer me, poor devil of a + general-secretary?” + </p> + <p> + “What?” + </p> + <p> + “I owe thirty-thousand and odd miserable francs,—you will despise me + because it isn’t more, but here, I grant you, I am significant. Well, + Baudoyer’s uncle has bought up my debts, and is, doubtless, ready to give + me a receipt for them if Baudoyer is appointed.” + </p> + <p> + “But all that is monstrous.” + </p> + <p> + “Not at all; it is monarchical and religious, for the Grand Almoner is + concerned in it. Baudoyer himself must appoint Colleville in return for + ecclesiastical assistance.” + </p> + <p> + “What shall you do?” + </p> + <p> + “What will you bid me do?” he said, with charming grace, holding out his + hand. + </p> + <p> + Celestine no longer thought him ugly, nor old, nor white and chilling as a + hoar-frost, nor indeed anything that was odious and offensive, but she did + not give him her hand. At night, in her salon, she would have let him take + it a hundred times, but here, alone and in the morning, the action seemed + too like a promise that might lead her far. + </p> + <p> + “And they say that statesmen have no hearts!” she cried enthusiastically, + trying to hide the harshness of her refusal under the grace of her words. + “The thought used to terrify me,” she added, assuming an innocent, + ingenuous air. + </p> + <p> + “What a calumny!” cried des Lupeaulx. “Only this week one of the stiffest + of diplomatists, a man who has been in the service ever since he came to + manhood, has married the daughter of an actress, and has introduced her at + the most iron-bound court in Europe as to quarterings of nobility.” + </p> + <p> + “You will continue to support us?” + </p> + <p> + “I am to draw up your husband’s appointment—But no cheating, + remember.” + </p> + <p> + She gave him her hand to kiss, and tapped him on the cheek as she did so. + “You are mine!” she said. + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx admired the expression. + </p> + <p> + [That night, at the Opera, the old coxcomb related the incident as + follows: “A woman who did not want to tell a man she would be his,—an + acknowledgment a well-bred woman never allows herself to make,—changed + the words into ‘You are mine.’ Don’t you think the evasion charming?”] + </p> + <p> + “But you must be my ally,” he answered. “Now listen, your husband has + spoken to the minister of a plan for the reform of the administration; the + paper I have shown you is a part of that plan. I want to know what it is. + Find out, and tell me to-night.” + </p> + <p> + “I will,” she answered, wholly unaware of the important nature of the + errand which brought des Lupeaulx to the house that morning. + </p> + <p> + “Madame, the hair-dresser.” + </p> + <p> + “At last!” thought Celestine. “I don’t see how I should have got out of it + if he had delayed much longer.” + </p> + <p> + “You do not know to what lengths my devotion can go,” said des Lupeaulx, + rising. “You shall be invited to the first select party given by his + Excellency’s wife.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah, you are an angel!” she cried. “And I see now how much you love me; + you love me intelligently.” + </p> + <p> + “To-night, dear child,” he said, “I shall find out at the Opera what + journalists are conspiring for Baudoyer, and we will measure swords + together.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, but you must dine with us, will you not? I have taken pains to get + the things you like best—” + </p> + <p> + “All that is so like love,” said des Lupeaulx to himself as he went + downstairs, “that I am willing to be deceived in that way for a long time. + Well, if she IS tricking me I shall know it. I’ll set the cleverest of all + traps before the appointment is fairly signed, and I’ll read her heart. + Ah! my little cats, I know you! for, after all, women are just what we men + are. Twenty-eight years old, virtuous, and living here in the rue Duphot!—a + rare piece of luck and worth cultivating,” thought the elderly butterfly + as he fluttered down the staircase. + </p> + <p> + “Good heavens! that man, without his glasses, must look funny enough in a + dressing-gown!” thought Celestine, “but the harpoon is in his back and + he’ll tow me where I want to go; I am sure now of that invitation. He has + played his part in my comedy.” + </p> + <p> + When, at five o’clock in the afternoon, Rabourdin came home to dress for + dinner, his wife presided at his toilet and presently laid before him the + fatal memorandum which, like the slipper in the Arabian Nights, the + luckless man was fated to meet at every turn. + </p> + <p> + “Who gave you that?” he asked, thunderstruck. + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur des Lupeaulx.” + </p> + <p> + “So he has been here!” cried Rabourdin, with a look which would certainly + have made a guilty woman turn pale, but which Celestine received with + unruffled brow and a laughing eye. + </p> + <p> + “And he is coming back to dinner,” she said. “Why that startled air?” + </p> + <p> + “My dear,” replied Rabourdin, “I have mortally offended des Lupeaulx; such + men never forgive, and yet he fawns upon me! Do you think I don’t see + why?” + </p> + <p> + “The man seems to me,” she said, “to have good taste; you can’t expect me + to blame him. I really don’t know anything more flattering to a woman than + to please a worn-out palate. After—” + </p> + <p> + “A truce to nonsense, Celestine. Spare a much-tried man. I cannot get an + audience of the minister, and my honor is at stake.” + </p> + <p> + “Good heavens, no! Dutocq can have the promise of a good place as soon as + you are named head of the division.” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! I see what you are about, dear child,” said Rabourdin; “but the game + you are playing is just as dishonorable as the real thing that is going on + around us. A lie is a lie, and an honest woman—” + </p> + <p> + “Let me use the weapons employed against us.” + </p> + <p> + “Celestine, the more that man des Lupeaulx feels he is foolishly caught in + a trap, the more bitter he will be against me.” + </p> + <p> + “What if I get him dismissed altogether?” + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin looked at his wife in amazement. + </p> + <p> + “I am thinking only of your advancement; it was high time, my poor + husband,” continued Celestine. “But you are mistaking the dog for the + game,” she added, after a pause. “In a few days des Lupeaulx will have + accomplished all that I want of him. While you are trying to speak to the + minister, and before you can even see him on business, I shall have seen + him and spoken with him. You are worn out in trying to bring that plan of + your brain to birth,—a plan which you have been hiding from me; but + you will find that in three months your wife has accomplished more than + you have done in six years. Come, tell me this fine scheme of yours.” + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin, continuing to shave, cautioned his wife not to say a word about + his work, and after assuring her that to confide a single idea to des + Lupeaulx would be to put the cat near the milk-jug, he began an + explanation of his labors. + </p> + <p> + “Why didn’t you tell me this before, Rabourdin?” said Celestine, cutting + her husband short at his fifth sentence. “You might have saved yourself a + world of trouble. I can understand that a man should be blinded by an idea + for a moment, but to nurse it up for six or seven years, that’s a thing I + cannot comprehend! You want to reduce the budget,—a vulgar and + commonplace idea! The budget ought, on the contrary, to reach two hundred + millions. Then, indeed, France would be great. If you want a new system + let it be one of loans, as Monsieur de Nucingen keeps saying. The poorest + of all treasuries is the one with a surplus that it never uses; the + mission of a minister of finance is to fling gold out of the windows. It + will come back to him through the cellars; and you, you want to hoard it! + The thing to do is to increase the offices and all government employments, + instead of reducing them! So far from lessening the public debt, you ought + to increase the creditors. If the Bourbons want to reign in peace, let + them seek creditors in the towns and villages, and place their loans + there; above all, they ought not to let foreigners draw interest away from + France; some day an alien nation might ask us for the capital. Whereas if + capital and interest are held only in France, neither France nor credit + can perish. That’s what saved England. Your plan is the tradesman’s plan. + An ambitious public man should produce some bold scheme,—he should + make himself another Law, without Law’s fatal ill-luck; he ought to + exhibit the power of credit, and show that we should reduce, not + principal, but interest, as they do in England.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, come, Celestine,” said Rabourdin; “mix up ideas as much as you + please, and make fun of them,—I’m accustomed to that; but don’t + criticise a work of which you know nothing as yet.” + </p> + <p> + “Do I need,” she asked, “to know a scheme the essence of which is to + govern France with a civil service of six thousand men instead of twenty + thousand? My dear friend, even allowing it were the plan of a man of + genius, a king of France who attempted to carry it out would get himself + dethroned. You can keep down a feudal aristocracy by levelling a few + heads, but you can’t subdue a hydra with thousands. And is it with the + present ministers—between ourselves, a wretched crew—that you + expect to carry out your reform? No, no; change the monetary system if you + will, but do not meddle with men, with little men; they cry out too much, + whereas gold is dumb.” + </p> + <p> + “But, Celestine, if you will talk, and put wit before argument, we shall + never understand each other.” + </p> + <p> + “Understand! I understand what that paper, in which you have analyzed the + capacities of the men in office, will lead to,” she replied, paying no + attention to what her husband said. “Good heavens! you have sharpened the + axe to cut off your own head. Holy Virgin! why didn’t you consult me? I + could have at least prevented you from committing anything to writing, or, + at any rate, if you insisted on putting it to paper, I would have written + it down myself, and it should never have left this house. Good God! to + think that he never told me! That’s what men are! capable of sleeping with + the wife of their bosom for seven years, and keeping a secret from her! + Hiding their thoughts from a poor woman for seven years!—doubting + her devotion!” + </p> + <p> + “But,” cried Rabourdin, provoked, “for eleven years and more I have been + unable to discuss anything with you because you insist on cutting me short + and substituting your ideas for mine. You know nothing at all about my + scheme.” + </p> + <p> + “Nothing! I know all.” + </p> + <p> + “Then tell it to me!” cried Rabourdin, angry for the first time since his + marriage. + </p> + <p> + “There! it is half-past six o’clock; finish shaving and dress at once,” + she cried hastily, after the fashion of women when pressed on a point they + are not ready to talk of. “I must go; we’ll adjourn the discussion, for I + don’t want to be nervous on a reception-day. Good heavens! the poor soul!” + she thought, as she left the room, “it /is/ hard to be in labor for seven + years and bring forth a dead child! And not trust his wife!” + </p> + <p> + She went back into the room. + </p> + <p> + “If you had listened to me you would never had interceded to keep your + chief clerk; he stole that abominable paper, and has, no doubt, kept a + fac-simile of it. Adieu, man of genius!” + </p> + <p> + Then she noticed the almost tragic expression of her husband’s grief; she + felt she had gone too far, and ran to him, seized him just as he was, all + lathered with soap-suds, and kissed him tenderly. + </p> + <p> + “Dear Xavier, don’t be vexed,” she said. “To-night, after the people are + gone, we will study your plan; you shall speak at your ease,—I will + listen just as long as you wish me to. Isn’t that nice of me? What do I + want better than to be the wife of Mohammed?” + </p> + <p> + She began to laugh; and Rabourdin laughed too, for the soapsuds were + clinging to Celestine’s lips, and her voice had the tones of the purest + and most steadfast affection. + </p> + <p> + “Go and dress, dear child; and above all, don’t say a word of this to des + Lupeaulx. Swear you will not. That is the only punishment that I impose—” + </p> + <p> + “/Impose/!” she cried. “Then I won’t swear anything.” + </p> + <p> + “Come, come, Celestine, I said in jest a really serious thing.” + </p> + <p> + “To-night,” she said, “I mean your general-secretary to know whom I am + really intending to attack; he has given me the means.” + </p> + <p> + “Attack whom?” + </p> + <p> + “The minister,” she answered, drawing himself up. “We are to be invited to + his wife’s private parties.” + </p> + <p> + In spite of his Celestine’s loving caresses, Rabourdin, as he finished + dressing, could not prevent certain painful thoughts from clouding his + brow. + </p> + <p> + “Will she ever appreciate me?” he said to himself. “She does not even + understand that she is the sole incentive of my whole work. How + wrong-headed, and yet how excellent a mind!—If I had not married I + might now have been high in office and rich. I could have saved half my + salary; my savings well-invested would have given me to-day ten thousand + francs a year outside of my office, and I might then have become, through + a good marriage—Yes, that is all true,” he exclaimed, interrupting + himself, “but I have Celestine and my two children.” The man flung himself + back on his happiness. To the best of married lives there come moments of + regret. He entered the salon and looked around him. “There are not two + women in Paris who understand making life pleasant as she does. To keep + such a home as this on twelve thousand francs a year!” he thought, looking + at the flower-stands bright with bloom, and thinking of the social + enjoyments that were about to gratify his vanity. “She was made to be the + wife of a minister. When I think of his Excellency’s wife, and how little + she helps him! the good woman is a comfortable middle-class dowdy, and + when she goes to the palace or into society—” He pinched his lips + together. Very busy men are apt to have very ignorant notions about + household matters, and you can make them believe that a hundred thousand + francs afford little or that twelve thousand afford all. + </p> + <p> + Though impatiently expected, and in spite of the flattering dishes + prepared for the palate of the gourmet-emeritus, des Lupeaulx did not come + to dinner; in fact he came in very late, about midnight, an hour when + company dwindles and conversations become intimate and confidential. + Andoche Finot, the journalist, was one of the few remaining guests. + </p> + <p> + “I now know all,” said des Lupeaulx, when he was comfortably seated on a + sofa at the corner of the fireplace, a cup of tea in his hand and Madame + Rabourdin standing before him with a plate of sandwiches and some slices + of cake very appropriately called “leaden cake.” “Finot, my dear and witty + friend, you can render a great service to our gracious queen by letting + loose a few dogs upon the men we were talking of. You have against you,” + he said to Rabourdin, lowering his voice so as to be heard only by the + three persons whom he addressed, “a set of usurers and priests—money + and the church. The article in the liberal journal was instituted by an + old money-lender to whom the paper was under obligations; but the young + fellow who wrote it cares nothing about it. The paper is about to change + hands, and in three days more will be on our side. The royalist + opposition,—for we have, thanks to Monsieur de Chateaubriand, a + royalist opposition, that is to say, royalists who have gone over to the + liberals,—however, there’s no need to discuss political matters now,—these + assassins of Charles X. have promised me to support your appointment at + the price of our acquiescence in one of their amendments. All my batteries + are manned. If they threaten us with Baudoyer we shall say to the clerical + phalanx, ‘Such and such a paper and such and such men will attack your + measures and the whole press will be against you’ (for even the + ministerial journals which I influence will be deaf and dumb, won’t they, + Finot?). ‘Appoint Rabourdin, a faithful servant, and public opinion is + with you—‘” + </p> + <p> + “Hi, hi!” laughed Finot. + </p> + <p> + “So, there’s no need to be uneasy,” said des Lupeaulx. “I have arranged it + all to-night; the Grand Almoner must yield.” + </p> + <p> + “I would rather have had less hope, and you to dinner,” whispered + Celestine, looking at him with a vexed air which might very well pass for + an expression of wounded love. + </p> + <p> + “This must win my pardon,” he returned, giving her an invitation to the + ministry for the following Tuesday. + </p> + <p> + Celestine opened the letter, and a flush of pleasure came into her face. + No enjoyment can be compared to that of gratified vanity. + </p> + <p> + “You know what the countess’s Tuesdays are,” said des Lupeaulx, with a + confidential air. “To the usual ministerial parties they are what the + ‘Petit-Chateau’ is to a court ball. You will be at the heart of power! You + will see there the Comtesse Feraud, who is still in favor notwithstanding + Louis XVIII.‘s death, Delphine de Nucingen, Madame de Listomere, the + Marquise d’Espard, and your dear Firmiani; I have had her invited to give + you her support in case the other women attempt to black-ball you. I long + to see you in the midst of them.” + </p> + <p> + Celestine threw up her head like a thoroughbred before the race, and + re-read the invitation just as Baudoyer and Saillard had re-read the + articles about themselves in the newspapers, without being able to quaff + enough of it. + </p> + <p> + “/There/ first, and /next/ at the Tuileries,” she said to des Lupeaulx, + who was startled by the words and by the attitude of the speaker, so + expressive were they of ambition and security. + </p> + <p> + “Can it be that I am only a stepping-stone?” he asked himself. He rose, + and went into Madame Rabourdin’s bedroom, where she followed him, + understanding from a motion of his head that he wished to speak to her + privately. + </p> + <p> + “Well, your husband’s plan,” he said; “what of it?” + </p> + <p> + “Bah! the useless nonsense of an honest man!” she replied. “He wants to + suppress fifteen thousand offices and do the work with five or six + thousand. You never heard of such nonsense; I will let you read the whole + document when copied; it is written in perfect good faith. His analysis of + the officials was prompted only by his honesty and rectitude,—poor + dear man!” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx was all the more reassured by the genuine laugh which + accompanied these jesting and contemptuous words, because he was a judge + of lying and knew that Celestine spoke in good faith. + </p> + <p> + “But still, what is at the bottom of it all?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “Well, he wants to do away with the land-tax and substitute taxes on + consumption.” + </p> + <p> + “Why it is over a year since Francois Keller and Nucingen proposed some + such plan, and the minister himself is thinking of a reduction of the + land-tax.” + </p> + <p> + “There!” exclaimed Celestine, “I told him there was nothing new in his + scheme.” + </p> + <p> + “No; but he is on the same ground with the best financier of the epoch,—the + Napoleon of finance. Something may come of it. Your husband must surely + have some special ideas in his method of putting the scheme into + practice.” + </p> + <p> + “No, it is all commonplace,” she said, with a disdainful curl of her lip. + “Just think of governing France with five or six thousand offices, when + what is really needed is that everybody in France should be personally + enlisted in the support of the government.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx seemed satisfied that Rabourdin, to whom in his own mind he + had granted remarkable talents, was really a man of mediocrity. + </p> + <p> + “Are you quite sure of the appointment? You don’t want a bit of feminine + advice?” she said. + </p> + <p> + “You women are greater adepts than we in refined treachery,” he said, + nodding. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, say /Baudoyer/ to the court and clergy, to divert suspicion + and put them to sleep, and then, at the last moment, write /Rabourdin/.” + </p> + <p> + “There are some women who say /yes/ as long as they need a man, and /no/ + when he has played his part,” returned des Lupeaulx, significantly. + </p> + <p> + “I know they do,” she answered, laughing; “but they are very foolish, for + in politics everything recommences. Such proceedings may do with fools, + but you are a man of sense. In my opinion the greatest folly any one can + commit is to quarrel with a clever man.” + </p> + <p> + “You are mistaken,” said des Lupeaulx, “for such a man pardons. The real + danger is with the petty spiteful natures who have nothing to do but study + revenge,—I spend my life among them.” + </p> + <p> + When all the guests were gone, Rabourdin came into his wife’s room, and + after asking for her strict attention, he explained his plan and made her + see that it did not cut down the revenue but on the contrary increased it; + he showed her in what ways the public funds were employed, and how the + State could increase tenfold the circulation of money by putting its own, + in the proportion of a third, or a quarter, into the expenditures which + would be sustained by private or local interests. He finally proved to her + plainly that his plan was not mere theory, but a system teeming with + methods of execution. Celestine, brightly enthusiastic, sprang into her + husband’s arms and sat upon his knee in the chimney-corner. + </p> + <p> + “At last I find the husband of my dreams!” she cried. “My ignorance of + your real merit has saved you from des Lupeaulx’s claws. I calumniated you + to him gloriously and in good faith.” + </p> + <p> + The man wept with joy. His day of triumph had come at last. Having labored + for many years to satisfy his wife, he found himself a great man in the + eyes of his sole public. + </p> + <p> + “To one who knows how good you are, how tender, how equable in anger, how + loving, you are tenfold greater still. But,” she added, “a man of genius + is always more or less a child; and you are a child, a dearly beloved + child,” she said, caressing him. Then she drew that invitation from that + particular spot where women put what they sacredly hide, and showed it to + him. + </p> + <p> + “Here is what I wanted,” she said; “Des Lupeaulx has put me face to face + with the minister, and were he a man of iron, his Excellency shall be made + for a time to bend the knee to me.” + </p> + <p> + The next day Celestine began her preparations for entrance into the inner + circle of the ministry. It was her day of triumph, her own! Never + courtesan took such pains with herself as this honest woman bestowed upon + her person. No dressmaker was ever so tormented as hers. Madame Rabourdin + forgot nothing. She went herself to the stable where she hired carriages, + and chose a coupe that was neither old, nor bourgeois, nor showy. Her + footman, like the footmen of great houses, had the dress and appearance of + a master. About ten on the evening of the eventful Tuesday, she left home + in a charming full mourning attire. Her hair was dressed with jet grapes + of exquisite workmanship,—an ornament costing three thousand francs, + made by Fossin for an Englishwoman who had left Paris before it was + finished. The leaves were of stamped iron-work, as light as the + vine-leaves themselves, and the artist had not forgotten the graceful + tendrils, which twined in the wearer’s curls just as, in nature, they + catch upon the branches. The bracelets, necklace, and earrings were all + what is called Berlin iron-work; but these delicate arabesques were made + in Vienna, and seemed to have been fashioned by the fairies who, the + stories tell us, are condemned by a jealous Carabosse to collect the eyes + of ants, or weave a fabric so diaphanous that a nutshell can contain it. + Madame Rabourdin’s graceful figure, made more slender still by the black + draperies, was shown to advantage by a carefully cut dress, the two sides + of which met at the shoulders in a single strap without sleeves. At every + motion she seemed, like a butterfly, to be about to leave her covering; + but the gown held firmly on by some contrivance of the wonderful + dressmaker. The robe was of mousseline de laine—a material which the + manufacturers had not yet sent to the Paris markets; a delightful stuff + which some months later was to have a wild success, a success which went + further and lasted longer than most French fashions. The actual economy of + mousseline de laine, which needs no washing, has since injured the sale of + cotton fabrics enough to revolutionize the Rouen manufactories. + Celestine’s little feet, covered with fine silk stockings and turk-satin + shoes (for silk-satin is inadmissible in deep mourning) were of elegant + proportions. Thus dressed, she was very handsome. Her complexion, + beautified by a bran-bath, was softly radiant. Her eyes, suffused with the + light of hope, and sparkling with intelligence, justified her claims to + the superiority which des Lupeaulx, proud and happy on this occasion, + asserted for her. + </p> + <p> + She entered the room well (women will understand the meaning of that + expression), bowed gracefully to the minister’s wife, with a happy mixture + of deference and of self-respect, and gave no offence by a certain + reliance on her own dignity; for every beautiful woman has the right to + seem a queen. With the minister himself she took the pretty air of + sauciness which women may properly allow themselves with men, even when + they are grand dukes. She reconnoitred the field, as it were, while taking + her seat, and saw that she was in the midst of one of those select parties + of few persons, where the women eye and appraise each other, and every + word said echoes in all ears; where every glance is a stab, and + conversation a duel with witnesses; where all that is commonplace seems + commoner still, and where every form of merit or distinction is silently + accepted as though it were the natural level of all present. Rabourdin + betook himself to the adjoining salon in which a few persons were playing + cards; and there he planted himself on exhibition, as it were, which + proved that he was not without social intelligence. + </p> + <p> + “My dear,” said the Marquise d’Espard to the Comtesse Feraud, Louis + XVIII.‘s last mistress, “Paris is certainly unique. It produces—whence + and how, who knows?—women like this person, who seems ready to will + and to do anything.” + </p> + <p> + “She really does will, and does do everything,” put in des Lupeaulx, + puffed up with satisfaction. + </p> + <p> + At this moment the wily Madame Rabourdin was courting the minister’s wife. + Carefully coached the evening before by des Lupeaulx, who knew all the + countess’s weak spots, she was flattering her without seeming to do so. + Every now and then she kept silence; for des Lupeaulx, in love as he was, + knew her defects, and said to her the night before, “Be careful not to + talk too much,”—words which were really an immense proof of + attachment. Bertrand Barrere left behind him this sublime axiom: “Never + interrupt a woman when dancing to give her advice,” to which we may add + (to make this chapter of the female code complete), “Never blame a woman + for scattering her pearls.” + </p> + <p> + The conversation became general. From time to time Madame Rabourdin joined + in, just as a well-trained cat puts a velvet paw on her mistress’s laces + with the claws carefully drawn in. The minister, in matters of the heart, + had few emotions. There was not another statesman under the Restoration + who had so completely done with gallantry as he; even the opposition + papers, the “Miroir,” “Pandora,” and “Figaro,” could not find a single + throbbing artery with which to reproach him. Madame Rabourdin knew this, + but she knew also that ghosts return to old castles, and she had taken it + into her head to make the minister jealous of the happiness which des + Lupeaulx was appearing to enjoy. The latter’s throat literally gurgled + with the name of his divinity. To launch his supposed mistress + successfully, he was endeavoring to persuade the Marquise d’Espard, Madame + de Nucingen, and the countess, in an eight-ear conversation, that they had + better admit Madame Rabourdin to their coalition; and Madame de Camps was + supporting him. At the end of the hour the minister’s vanity was greatly + tickled; Madame Rabourdin’s cleverness pleased him, and she had won his + wife, who, delighted with the siren, invited her to come to all her + receptions whenever she pleased. + </p> + <p> + “For your husband, my dear,” she said, “will soon be director; the + minister intends to unite the two divisions and place them under one + director; you will then be one of us, you know.” + </p> + <p> + His Excellency carried off Madame Rabourdin on his arm to show her a + certain room, which was then quite celebrated because the opposition + journals blamed him for decorating it extravagantly; and together they + laughed over the absurdities of journalism. + </p> + <p> + “Madame, you really must give the countess and myself the pleasure of + seeing you here often.” + </p> + <p> + And he went on with a round of ministerial compliments. + </p> + <p> + “But, Monseigneur,” she replied, with one of those glances which women + hold in reserve, “it seems to me that that depends on you.” + </p> + <p> + “How so?” + </p> + <p> + “You alone can give me the right to come here.” + </p> + <p> + “Pray explain.” + </p> + <p> + “No; I said to myself before I came that I would certainly not have the + bad taste to seem a petitioner.” + </p> + <p> + “No, no, speak freely. Places asked in this way are never out of place,” + said the minister, laughing; for there is no jest too silly to amuse a + solemn man. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, I must tell you plainly that the wife of the head of a bureau + is out of place here; a director’s wife is not.” + </p> + <p> + “That point need not be considered,” said the minister, “your husband is + indispensable to the administration; he is already appointed.” + </p> + <p> + “Is that a veritable fact?” + </p> + <p> + “Would you like to see the papers in my study? They are already drawn up.” + </p> + <p> + “Then,” she said, pausing in a corner where she was alone with the + minister, whose eager attentions were now very marked, “let me tell you + that I can make you a return.” + </p> + <p> + She was on the point of revealing her husband’s plan, when des Lupeaulx, + who had glided noiselessly up to them, uttered an angry sound, which meant + that he did not wish to appear to have overheard what, in fact, he had + been listening to. The minister gave an ill-tempered look at the old beau, + who, impatient to win his reward, had hurried, beyond all precedent, the + preliminary work of the appointment. He had carried the papers to his + Excellency that evening, and desired to take himself, on the morrow, the + news of the appointment to her whom he was now endeavoring to exhibit as + his mistress. Just then the minister’s valet approached des Lupeaulx in a + mysterious manner, and told him that his own servant wished him to deliver + to him at once a letter of the utmost importance. + </p> + <p> + The general-secretary went up to a lamp and read a note thus worded:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Contrary to my custom, I am waiting in your ante-chamber to see + you; you have not a moment to lose if you wish to come to terms + with +</pre> + <p> + Your obedient servant, Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + The secretary shuddered when he saw the signature, which we regret we + cannot give in fac-simile, for it would be valuable to those who like to + guess character from what may be called the physiognomy of signature. If + ever a hieroglyphic sign expressed an animal, it was assuredly this + written name, in which the first and the final letter approached each + other like the voracious jaws of a shark,—insatiable, always open, + seeking whom to devour, both strong and weak. As for the wording of the + note, the spirit of usury alone could have inspired a sentence so + imperative, so insolently curt and cruel, which said all and revealed + nothing. Those who had never heard of Gobseck would have felt, on reading + words which compelled him to whom they were addressed to obey, yet gave no + order, the presence of the implacable money-lender of the rue des Gres. + Like a dog called to heel by the huntsman, des Lupeaulx left his present + quest and went immediately to his own rooms, thinking of his hazardous + position. Imagine a general to whom an aide-de-camp rides up and says: + “The enemy with thirty thousand fresh troops is attacking on our right + flank.” + </p> + <p> + A very few words will serve to explain this sudden arrival of Gigonnet and + Gobseck on the field of battle,—for des Lupeaulx found them both + waiting. At eight o’clock that evening, Martin Falleix, returning on the + wings of the wind,—thanks to three francs to the postboys and a + courier in advance,—had brought back with him the deeds of the + property signed the night before. Taken at once to the Cafe Themis by + Mitral, these securities passed into the hands of the two usurers, who + hastened (though on foot) to the ministry. It was past eleven o’clock. Des + Lupeaulx trembled when he saw those sinister faces, emitting a + simultaneous look as direct as a pistol shot and as brilliant as the flash + itself. + </p> + <p> + “What is it, my masters?” he said. + </p> + <p> + The two extortioners continued cold and motionless. Gigonnet silently + pointed to the documents in his hand, and then at the servant. + </p> + <p> + “Come into my study,” said des Lupeaulx, dismissing his valet by a sign. + </p> + <p> + “You understand French very well,” remarked Gigonnet, approvingly. + </p> + <p> + “Have you come here to torment a man who enabled each of you to make a + couple of hundred thousand francs?” + </p> + <p> + “And who will help us to make more, I hope,” said Gigonnet. + </p> + <p> + “Some new affair?” asked des Lupeaulx. “If you want me to help you, + consider that I recollect the past.” + </p> + <p> + “So do we,” answered Gigonnet. + </p> + <p> + “My debts must be paid,” said des Lupeaulx, disdainfully, so as not to + seem worsted at the outset. + </p> + <p> + “True,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “Let us come to the point, my son,” said Gigonnet. “Don’t stiffen your + chin in your cravat; with us all that is useless. Take these deeds and + read them.” + </p> + <p> + The two usurers took a mental inventory of des Lupeaulx’s study while he + read with amazement and stupefaction a deed of purchase which seemed + wafted to him from the clouds by angels. + </p> + <p> + “Don’t you think you have a pair of intelligent business agents in Gobseck + and me?” asked Gigonnet. + </p> + <p> + “But tell me, to what do I owe such able co-operation?” said des Lupeaulx, + suspicious and uneasy. + </p> + <p> + “We knew eight days ago a fact that without us you would not have known + till to-morrow morning. The president of the chamber of commerce, a + deputy, as you know, feels himself obliged to resign.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx’s eyes dilated, and were as big as daisies. + </p> + <p> + “Your minister has been tricking you about this event,” said the concise + Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “You master me,” said the general-secretary, bowing with an air of + profound respect, bordering however, on sarcasm. + </p> + <p> + “True,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “Can you mean to strangle me?” + </p> + <p> + “Possibly.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, begin your work, executioners,” said the secretary, smiling. + </p> + <p> + “You will see,” resumed Gigonnet, “that the sum total of your debts is + added to the sum loaned by us for the purchase of the property; we have + bought them up.” + </p> + <p> + “Here are the deeds,” said Gobseck, taking from the pocket of his greenish + overcoat a number of legal papers. + </p> + <p> + “You have three years in which to pay off the whole sum,” said Gigonnet. + </p> + <p> + “But,” said des Lupeaulx, frightened at such kindness, and also by so + apparently fantastic an arrangement. “What do you want of me?” + </p> + <p> + “La Billardiere’s place for Baudoyer,” said Gigonnet, quickly. + </p> + <p> + “That’s a small matter, though it will be next to impossible for me to do + it,” said des Lupeaulx. “I have just tied my hands.” + </p> + <p> + “Bite the cords with your teeth,” said Gigonnet. + </p> + <p> + “They are sharp,” added Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “Is that all?” asked des Lupeaulx. + </p> + <p> + “We keep the title-deeds of the property till the debts are paid,” said + Gigonnet, putting one of the papers before des Lupeaulx; “and if the + matter of the appointment is not satisfactorily arranged within six days + our names will be substituted in place of yours.” + </p> + <p> + “You are deep,” cried the secretary. + </p> + <p> + “Exactly,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “And this is all?” exclaimed des Lupeaulx. + </p> + <p> + “All,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “You agree?” asked Gigonnet. + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx nodded his head. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, sign this power of attorney. Within two days Baudoyer is to + be nominated; within six your debts will be cleared off, and—” + </p> + <p> + “And what?” asked des Lupeaulx. + </p> + <p> + “We guarantee—” + </p> + <p> + “Guarantee!—what?” said the secretary, more and more astonished. + </p> + <p> + “Your election to the Chamber,” said Gigonnet, rising on his heels. “We + have secured a majority of fifty-two farmers’ and mechanics’ votes, which + will be thrown precisely as those who lend you this money dictate.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx wrung Gigonnet’s hand. + </p> + <p> + “It is only such as we who never misunderstand each other,” he said; “this + is what I call doing business. I’ll make you a return gift.” + </p> + <p> + “Right,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “What is it?” asked Gigonnet. + </p> + <p> + “The cross of the Legion of honor for your imbecile of a nephew.” + </p> + <p> + “Good,” said Gigonnet, “I see you know him well.” + </p> + <p> + The pair took leave of des Lupeaulx, who conducted them to the staircase. + </p> + <p> + “They must be secret envoys from foreign powers,” whispered the footmen to + each other. + </p> + <p> + Once in the street, the two usurers looked at each other under a street + lamp and laughed. + </p> + <p> + “He will owe us nine thousand francs interest a year,” said Gigonnet; + “that property doesn’t bring him in five.” + </p> + <p> + “He is under our thumb for a long time,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “He’ll build; he’ll commit extravagancies,” continued Gigonnet; “Falleix + will get his land.” + </p> + <p> + “His interest is only to be made deputy; the old fox laughs at the rest,” + said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + “Hey! hey!” + </p> + <p> + “Hi! hi!” + </p> + <p> + These dry little exclamations served as a laugh to the two old men, who + took their way back (always on foot) to the Cafe Themis. + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx returned to the salon and found Madame Rabourdin sailing with + the wind of success, and very charming; while his Excellency, usually so + gloomy, showed a smooth and gracious countenance. + </p> + <p> + “She performs miracles,” thought des Lupeaulx. “What a wonderfully clever + woman! I must get to the bottom of her heart.” + </p> + <p> + “Your little lady is decidedly handsome,” said the Marquise to the + secretary; “now if she only had your name.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, her defect is that she is the daughter of an auctioneer. She will + fail for want of birth,” replied des Lupeaulx, with a cold manner that + contrasted strangely with the ardor of his remarks about Madame Rabourdin + not half an hour earlier. + </p> + <p> + The marquise looked at him fixedly. + </p> + <p> + “The glance you gave them did not escape me,” she said, motioning towards + the minister and Madame Rabourdin; “it pierced the mask of your + spectacles. How amusing you both are, to quarrel over that bone!” + </p> + <p> + As the marquise turned to leave the room the minister joined her and + escorted her to the door. + </p> + <p> + “Well,” said des Lupeaulx to Madame Rabourdin, “what do you think of his + Excellency?” + </p> + <p> + “He is charming. We must know these poor ministers to appreciate them,” + she added, slightly raising her voice so as to be heard by his + Excellency’s wife. “The newspapers and the opposition calumnies are so + misleading about men in politics that we are all more or less influenced + by them; but such prejudices turn to the advantage of statesmen when we + come to know them personally.” + </p> + <p> + “He is very good-looking,” said des Lupeaulx. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, and I assure you he is quite lovable,” she said, heartily. + </p> + <p> + “Dear child,” said des Lupeaulx, with a genial, caressing manner; “you + have actually done the impossible.” + </p> + <p> + “What is that?” + </p> + <p> + “Resuscitated the dead. I did not think that man had a heart; ask his + wife. But he may have just enough for a passing fancy. Therefore profit by + it. Come this way, and don’t be surprised.” He led Madame Rabourdin into + the boudoir, placed her on a sofa, and sat down beside her. “You are very + sly,” he said, “and I like you the better for it. Between ourselves, you + are a clever woman. Des Lupeaulx served to bring you into this house, and + that is all you wanted of him, isn’t it? Now when a woman decides to love + a man for what she can get out of him it is better to take a sexagenarian + Excellency than a quadragenarian secretary; there’s more profit and less + annoyance. I’m a man with spectacles, grizzled hair, worn out with + dissipation,—a fine lover, truly! I tell myself all this again and + again. It must be admitted, of course, that I can sometimes be useful, but + never agreeable. Isn’t that so? A man must be a fool if he cannot reason + about himself. You can safely admit the truth and let me see to the depths + of your heart; we are partners, not lovers. If I show some tenderness at + times, you are too superior a woman to pay any attention to such follies; + you will forgive me,—you are not a school-girl, or a bourgeoise of + the rue Saint-Denis. Bah! you and I are too well brought up for that. + There’s the Marquise d’Espard who has just left the room; this is + precisely what she thinks and does. She and I came to an understanding two + years ago [the coxcomb!], and now she has only to write me a line and say, + ‘My dear des Lupeaulx, you will oblige me by doing such and such a thing,’ + and it is done at once. We are engaged at this very moment in getting a + commission of lunacy on her husband. Ah! you women, you can get what you + want by the bestowal of a few favors. Well, then, my dear child, bewitch + the minister. I’ll help you; it is my interest to do so. Yes, I wish he + had a woman who could influence him; he wouldn’t escape me,—for he + does escape me quite often, and the reason is that I hold him only through + his intellect. Now if I were one with a pretty woman who was also intimate + with him, I should hold him by his weaknesses, and that is much the + firmest grip. Therefore, let us be friends, you and I, and share the + advantages of the conquest you are making.” + </p> + <p> + Madame Rabourdin listened in amazement to this singular profession of + rascality. The apparent artlessness of this political swindler prevented + her from suspecting a trick. + </p> + <p> + “Do you believe he really thinks of me?” she asked, falling into the trap. + </p> + <p> + “I know it; I am certain of it.” + </p> + <p> + “Is it true that Rabourdin’s appointment is signed?” + </p> + <p> + “I gave him the papers this morning. But it is not enough that your + husband should be made director; he must be Master of petitions.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” she said. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, go back to the salon and coquette a little more with his + Excellency.” + </p> + <p> + “It is true,” she said, “that I never fully understood you till to-night. + There is nothing commonplace about /you/.” + </p> + <p> + “We will be two old friends,” said des Lupeaulx, “and suppress all tender + nonsense and tormenting love; we will take things as they did under the + Regency. Ah! they had plenty of wit and wisdom in those days!” + </p> + <p> + “You are really strong; you deserve my admiration,” she said, smiling, and + holding out her hand to him, “one does more for one’s friend, you know, + than for one’s—” + </p> + <p> + She left him without finishing her sentence. + </p> + <p> + “Dear creature!” thought des Lupeaulx, as he saw her approach the + minister, “des Lupeaulx has no longer the slightest remorse in turning + against you. To-morrow evening when you offer me a cup of tea, you will be + offering me a thing I no longer care for. All is over. Ah! when a man is + forty years of age women may take pains to catch him, but they won’t love + him.” + </p> + <p> + He looked himself over in a mirror, admitting honestly that though he did + very well as a politician he was a wreck on the shores of Cythera. At the + same moment Madame Rabourdin was gathering herself together for a becoming + exit. She wished to make a last graceful impression on the minds of all, + and she succeeded. Contrary to the usual custom in society, every one + cried out as soon as she was gone, “What a charming woman!” and the + minister himself took her to the outer door. + </p> + <p> + “I am quite sure you will think of me to-morrow,” he said, alluding to the + appointment. + </p> + <p> + “There are so few high functionaries who have agreeable wives,” remarked + his Excellency on re-entering the room, “that I am very well satisfied + with our new acquisition.” + </p> + <p> + “Don’t you think her a little overpowering?” said des Lupeaulx with a + piqued air. + </p> + <p> + The women present all exchanged expressive glances; the rivalry between + the minister and his secretary amused them and instigated one of those + pretty little comedies which Parisian women play so well. They excited and + led on his Excellency and des Lupeaulx by a series of comments on Madame + Rabourdin: one thought her too studied in manner, too eager to appear + clever; another compared the graces of the middle classes with the manners + of high life, while des Lupeaulx defended his pretended mistress as we all + defend an enemy in society. + </p> + <p> + “Do her justice, ladies,” he said; “is it not extraordinary that the + daughter of an auctioneer should appear as well as she does? See where she + came from, and what she is. She will end in the Tuileries; that is what + she intends,—she told me so.” + </p> + <p> + “Suppose she is the daughter of an auctioneer,” said the Comtesse Feraud, + smiling, “that will not hinder her husband’s rise to power.” + </p> + <p> + “Not in these days, you mean,” said the minister’s wife, tightening her + lips. + </p> + <p> + “Madame,” said his Excellency to the countess, sternly, “such sentiments + and such speeches lead to revolutions; unhappily, the court and the great + world do not restrain them. You would hardly believe, however, how the + injudicious conduct of the aristocracy in this respect displeases certain + clear-sighted personages at the palace. If I were a great lord, instead of + being, as I am, a mere country gentleman who seems to be placed where he + is to transact your business for you, the monarchy would not be as + insecure as I now think it is. What becomes of a throne which does not + bestow dignity on those who administer its government? We are far indeed + from the days when a king could make men great at will,—such men as + Louvois, Colbert, Richelieu, Jeannin, Villeroy, Sully,—Sully, in his + origin, was no greater than I. I speak to you thus because we are here in + private among ourselves. I should be very paltry indeed if I were + personally offended by such speeches. After all, it is for us and not for + others to make us great.” + </p> + <p> + “You are appointed, dear,” cried Celestine, pressing her husband’s hand as + they drove away. “If it had not been for des Lupeaulx I should have + explained your scheme to his Excellency. But I will do it next Tuesday, + and it will help the further matter of making you Master of petitions.” + </p> + <p> + In the life of every woman there comes a day when she shines in all her + glory; a day which gives her an unfading recollection to which she recurs + with happiness all her life. As Madame Rabourdin took off one by one the + ornaments of her apparel, she thought over the events of this evening, and + marked the day among the triumphs and glories of her life,—all her + beauties had been seen and envied, she had been praised and flattered by + the minister’s wife, delighted thus to make the other women jealous of + her; but, above all, her grace and vanities had shone to the profit of + conjugal love. Her husband was appointed. + </p> + <p> + “Did you think I looked well to-night?” she said to him, joyously. + </p> + <p> + At the same instant Mitral, waiting at the Cafe Themis, saw the two + usurers returning, but was unable to perceive the slightest indications of + the result on their impassible faces. + </p> + <p> + “What of it?” he said, when they were all seated at table. + </p> + <p> + “Same as ever,” replied Gigonnet, rubbing his hands, “victory with gold.” + </p> + <p> + “True,” said Gobseck. + </p> + <p> + Mitral took a cabriolet and went straight to the Saillards and Baudoyers, + who were still playing boston at a late hour. No one was present but the + Abbe Gaudron. Falleix, half-dead with the fatigue of his journey, had gone + to bed. + </p> + <p> + “You will be appointed, nephew,” said Mitral; “and there’s a surprise in + store for you.” + </p> + <p> + “What is it?” asked Saillard. + </p> + <p> + “The cross of the Legion of honor?” cried Mitral. + </p> + <p> + “God protects those who guard his altars,” said Gaudron. + </p> + <p> + Thus the Te Deum was sung with equal joy and confidence in both camps. + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0008" id="link2HCH0008"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER VIII. FORWARD, MOLLUSKS! + </h2> + <p> + The next day, Wednesday, Monsieur Rabourdin was to transact business with + the minister, for he had filled the late La Billardiere’s place since the + beginning of the latter’s illness. On such days the clerks came + punctually, the servants were specially attentive, there was always a + certain excitement in the offices on these signing-days,—and why, + nobody ever knew. On this occasion the three servants were at their post, + flattering themselves they should get a few fees; for a rumor of + Rabourdin’s nomination had spread through the ministry the night before, + thanks to Dutocq. Uncle Antoine and Laurent had donned their full uniform, + when, at a quarter to eight, des Lupeaulx’s servant came in with a letter, + which he begged Antoine to give secretly to Dutocq, saying that the + general-secretary had ordered him to deliver it without fail at Monsieur + Dutocq’s house by seven o’clock. + </p> + <p> + “I’m sure I don’t know how it happened,” he said, “but I overslept myself. + I’ve only just waked up, and he’d play the devil’s tattoo on me if he knew + the letter hadn’t gone. I know a famous secret, Antoine; but don’t say + anything about it to the clerks if I tell you; promise? He would send me + off if he knew I had said a single word; he told me so.” + </p> + <p> + “What’s inside the letter?” asked Antoine, eying it. + </p> + <p> + “Nothing; I looked this way—see.” + </p> + <p> + He made the letter gape open, and showed Antoine that there was nothing + but blank paper to be seen. + </p> + <p> + “This is going to be a great day for you, Laurent,” went on the + secretary’s man. “You are to have a new director. Economy must be the + order of the day, for they are going to unite the two divisions under one + director—you fellows will have to look out!” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, nine clerks are put on the retired list,” said Dutocq, who came in + at the moment; “how did you hear that?” + </p> + <p> + Antoine gave him the letter, and he had no sooner opened it than he rushed + headlong downstairs in the direction of the secretary’s office. + </p> + <p> + The bureaus Rabourdin and Baudoyer, after idling and gossiping since the + death of Monsieur de la Billardiere, were now recovering their usual + official look and the dolce far niente habits of a government office. + Nevertheless, the approaching end of the year did cause rather more + application among the clerks, just as porters and servants become at that + season more unctuously civil. They all came punctually, for one thing; + more remained after four o’clock than was usual at other times. It was not + forgotten that fees and gratuities depend on the last impressions made + upon the minds of masters. The news of the union of the two divisions, + that of La Billardiere and that of Clergeot, under one director, had + spread through the various offices. The number of the clerks to be retired + was known, but all were in ignorance of the names. It was taken for + granted that Poiret would not be replaced, and that would be a + retrenchment. Little La Billardiere had already departed. Two new + supernumeraries had made their appearance, and, alarming circumstance! + they were both sons of deputies. The news told about in the offices the + night before, just as the clerks were dispersing, agitated all minds, and + for the first half-hour after arrival in the morning they stood around the + stoves and talked it over. But earlier than that, Dutocq, as we have seen, + had rushed to des Lupeaulx on receiving his note, and found him dressing. + Without laying down his razor, the general-secretary cast upon his + subordinate the glance of a general issuing an order. + </p> + <p> + “Are we alone?” he asked. + </p> + <p> + “Yes, monsieur.” + </p> + <p> + “Very good. March on Rabourdin; forward! steady! Of course you kept a copy + of that paper?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes.” + </p> + <p> + “You understand me? Inde iroe! There must be a general hue and cry raised + against him. Find some way to start a clamor—” + </p> + <p> + “I could get a man to make a caricature, but I haven’t five hundred francs + to pay for it.” + </p> + <p> + “Who would make it?” + </p> + <p> + “Bixou.” + </p> + <p> + “He shall have a thousand and be under-head-clerk to Colleville, who will + arrange with them; tell him so.” + </p> + <p> + “But he wouldn’t believe it on nothing more than my word.” + </p> + <p> + “Are you trying to make me compromise myself? Either do the thing or let + it alone; do you hear me?” + </p> + <p> + “If Monsieur Baudoyer were director—” + </p> + <p> + “Well, he will be. Go now, and make haste; you have no time to lose. Go + down the back-stairs; I don’t want people to know you have just seen me.” + </p> + <p> + While Dutocq was returning to the clerks’ office and asking himself how he + could best incite a clamor against his chief without compromising himself, + Bixiou rushed to the Rabourdin office for a word of greeting. Believing + that he had lost his bet the incorrigible joker thought it amusing to + pretend that he had won it. + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [mimicking Phellion’s voice]. “Gentlemen, I salute you with a + collective how d’ye do, and I appoint Sunday next for the dinner at the + Rocher de Cancale. But a serious question presents itself. Is that dinner + to include the clerks who are dismissed?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “And those who retire?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Not that I care, for it isn’t I who pay.” [General stupefaction.] + “Baudoyer is appointed. I think I already hear him calling Laurent” + [mimicking Baudoyer], “Laurent! lock up my hair-shirt, and my scourge.” + [They all roar with laughter.] “Yes, yes, he laughs well who laughs last. + Gentlemen, there’s a great deal in that anagram of Colleville’s. ‘Xavier + Rabourdin, chef de bureau—D’abord reva bureaux, e-u fin riche.’ If I + were named ‘Charles X., par la grace de Dieu roi de France et de Navarre,’ + I should tremble in my shoes at the fate those letters anagrammatize.” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “Look here! are you making fun?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “No, I am not. Rabourdin resigns in a rage at finding Baudoyer + appointed director.” + </p> + <p> + Vimeux [entering.] “Nonsense, no such thing! Antoine (to whom I have just + been paying forty francs that I owed him) tells me that Monsieur and + Madame Rabourdin were at the minister’s private party last night and + stayed till midnight. His Excellency escorted Madame Rabourdin to the + staircase. It seems she was divinely dressed. In short, it is quite + certain that Rabourdin is to be director. Riffe, the secretary’s copying + clerk, told me he sat up all the night before to draw the papers; it is no + longer a secret. Monsieur Clergeot is retired. After thirty years’ service + that’s no misfortune. Monsieur Cochlin, who is rich—” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “By cochineal.” + </p> + <p> + Vimeux. “Yes, cochineal; he’s a partner in the house of Matifat, rue des + Lombards. Well, he is retired; so is Poiret. Neither is to be replaced. So + much is certain; the rest is all conjecture. The appointment of Monsieur + Rabourdin is to be announced this morning; they are afraid of intrigues.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “What intrigues?” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Baudoyer’s, confound him! The priests uphold him; here’s another + article in the liberal journal,—only half a dozen lines, but they + are queer” [reads]: + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Certain persons spoke last night in the lobby of the Opera-house + of the return of Monsieur de Chateaubriand to the ministry, basing + their opinion on the choice made of Monsieur Rabourdin (the + protege of friends of the noble viscount) to fill the office for + which Monsieur Baudoyer was first selected. The clerical party is + not likely to withdraw unless in deference to the great writer. +</pre> + <p> + “Blackguards!” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [entering, having heard the whole discussion]. “Blackguards! Who? + Rabourdin? Then you know the news?” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [rolling his eyes savagely]. “Rabourdin a blackguard! Are you mad, + Dutocq? do you want a ball in your brains to give them weight?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “I said nothing against Monsieur Rabourdin; only it has just been + told to me in confidence that he has written a paper denouncing all the + clerks and officials, and full of facts about their lives; in short, the + reason why his friends support him is because he has written this paper + against the administration, in which we are all exposed—” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [in a loud voice]. “Monsieur Rabourdin is incapable of—” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Very proper in you to say so. Tell me, Dutocq” [they whisper + together and then go into the corridor]. + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “What has happened?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Do you remember what I said to you about that caricature?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Yes, what then?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Make it, and you shall be under-head-clerk with a famous fee. The + fact is, my dear fellow, there’s dissension among the powers that be. The + minister is pledged to Rabourdin, but if he doesn’t appoint Baudoyer he + offends the priests and their party. You see, the King, the Dauphin and + the Dauphine, the clergy, and lastly the court, all want Baudoyer; the + minister wants Rabourdin.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Good!” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “To ease the matter off, the minister, who sees he must give way, + wants to strangle the difficulty. We must find some good reason for + getting rid of Rabourdin. Now somebody has lately unearthed a paper of + his, exposing the present system of administration and wanting to reform + it; and that paper is going the rounds,—at least, this is how I + understand the matter. Make the drawing we talked of; in so doing you’ll + play the game of all the big people, and help the minister, the court, the + clergy,—in short, everybody; and you’ll get your appointment. Now do + you understand me?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “I don’t understand how you came to know all that; perhaps you are + inventing it.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Do you want me to let you see what Rabourdin wrote about you?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Yes.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Then come home with me; for I must put the document into safe + keeping.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “You go first alone.” [Re-enters the bureau Rabourdin.] “What + Dutocq told you is really all true, word of honor! It seems that Monsieur + Rabourdin has written and sent in very unflattering descriptions of the + clerks whom he wants to ‘reform.’ That’s the real reason why his secret + friends wish him appointed. Well, well; we live in days when nothing + astonishes me” [flings his cloak about him like Talma, and declaims]:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + “Thou who has seen the fall of grand, illustrious heads, + Why thus amazed, insensate that thou art, +</pre> + <p> + to find a man like Rabourdin employing such means? Baudoyer is too much of + a fool to know how to use them. Accept my congratulations, gentlemen; + either way you are under a most illustrious chief” [goes off]. + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “I shall leave this ministry without ever comprehending a single + word that gentleman utters. What does he mean with his ‘heads that fall’?” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “‘Heads that fell?’ why, think of the four sergeants of Rochelle, + Ney, Berton, Caron, the brothers Faucher, and the massacres.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “He asserts very flippantly things that he only guesses at.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Say at once that he lies; in his mouth truth itself turns to + corrosion.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “Your language is unparliamentary and lacks the courtesy and + consideration which are due to a colleague.” + </p> + <p> + Vimeux. “It seems to me that if what he says is false, the proper name for + it is calumny, defamation of character; and such a slanderer deserves the + thrashing.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [getting hot]. “If the government offices are public places, the + matter ought to be taken into the police-courts.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [wishing to avert a quarrel, tries to turn the conversation]. + “Gentleman, might I ask you to keep quiet? I am writing a little treatise + on moral philosophy, and I am just at the heart of it.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [interrupting]. “What are you saying about it, Monsieur Phellion?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [reading]. “Question.—What is the soul of man? + </p> + <p> + “Answer.—A spiritual substance which thinks and reasons.” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “Spiritual substance! you might as well talk about immaterial + stone.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Don’t interrupt; let him go on.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [continuing]. “Quest.—Whence comes the soul? + </p> + <p> + “Ans.—From God, who created it of a nature one and indivisible; the + destructibility thereof is, consequently, not conceivable, and he hath + said—” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [amazed]. “God said?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “Yes, monsieur; tradition authorizes the statement.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [to Poiret]. “Come, don’t interrupt, yourself.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [resuming]. “—and he hath said that he created it immortal; + in other words, the soul can never die. + </p> + <p> + “Quest.—What are the uses of the soul? + </p> + <p> + “Ans.—To comprehend, to will, to remember; these constitute + understanding, volition, memory. + </p> + <p> + “Quest.—What are the uses of the understanding? + </p> + <p> + “Ans.—To know. It is the eye of the soul.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “And the soul is the eye of what?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [continuing]. “Quest.—What ought the understanding to know? + </p> + <p> + “Ans.—Truth. + </p> + <p> + “Quest.—Why does man possess volition? + </p> + <p> + “Ans.—To love good and hate evil. + </p> + <p> + “Quest.—What is good? + </p> + <p> + “Ans.—That which makes us happy.” + </p> + <p> + Vimeux. “Heavens! do you teach that to young ladies?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “Yes” [continuing]. “Quest.—How many kinds of good are + there?” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Amazingly indecorous, to say the least.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [aggrieved]. “Oh, monsieur!” [Controlling himself.] “But here’s + the answer,—that’s as far as I have got” [reads]:— + </p> + <p> + “Ans.—There are two kinds of good,—eternal good and temporal + good.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [with a look of contempt]. “And does that sell for anything?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “I hope it will. It requires great application of mind to carry + on a system of questions and answers; that is why I ask you to be quiet + and let me think, for the answers—” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier [interrupting]. “The answers might be sold separately.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Is that a pun?” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “No; a riddle.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “I am sorry I interrupted you” [he dives into his office desk]. + “But” [to himself] “at any rate, I have stopped their talking about + Monsieur Rabourdin.” + </p> + <p> + At this moment a scene was taking place between the minister and des + Lupeaulx which decided Rabourdin’s fate. The general-secretary had gone to + see the minister in his private study before the breakfast-hour, to make + sure that La Briere was not within hearing. + </p> + <p> + “Your Excellency is not treating me frankly—” + </p> + <p> + “He means a quarrel,” thought the minister; “and all because his mistress + coquetted with me last night. I did not think you so juvenile, my dear + friend,” he said aloud. + </p> + <p> + “Friend?” said the general-secretary, “that is what I want to find out.” + </p> + <p> + The minister looked haughtily at des Lupeaulx. + </p> + <p> + “We are alone,” continued the secretary, “and we can come to an + understanding. The deputy of the arrondissement in which my estate is + situated—” + </p> + <p> + “So it is really an estate!” said the minister, laughing, to hide his + surprise. + </p> + <p> + “Increased by a recent purchase of two hundred thousand francs’ worth of + adjacent property,” replied des Lupeaulx, carelessly. “You knew of the + deputy’s approaching resignation at least ten days ago, and you did not + tell me of it. You were perhaps not bound to do so, but you knew very well + that I am most anxious to take my seat in the centre. Has it occurred to + you that I might fling myself back on the ‘Doctrine’?—which, let me + tell you, will destroy the administration and the monarchy both if you + continue to allow the party of representative government to be recruited + from men of talent whom you ignore. Don’t you know that in every nation + there are fifty to sixty, not more, dangerous heads, whose schemes are in + proportion to their ambition? The secret of knowing how to govern is to + know those heads well, and either to chop them off or buy them. I don’t + know how much talent I have, but I know that I have ambition; and you are + committing a serious blunder when you set aside a man who wishes you well. + The anointed head dazzles for the time being, but what next?—Why, a + war of words; discussions will spring up once more and grow embittered, + envenomed. Then, for your own sake, I advise you not to find me at the + Left Centre. In spite of your prefect’s manoeuvres (instructions for which + no doubt went from here confidentially) I am secure of a majority. The + time has come for you and me to understand each other. After a breeze like + this people sometimes become closer friends than ever. I must be made + count and receive the grand cordon of the Legion of honor as a reward for + my public services. However, I care less for those things just now than I + do for something else in which you are more personally concerned. You have + not yet appointed Rabourdin, and I have news this morning which tends to + show that most persons will be better satisfied if you appoint Baudoyer.” + </p> + <p> + “Appoint Baudoyer!” echoed the minister. “Do you know him?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said des Lupeaulx; “but suppose he proves incapable, as he will, + you can then get rid of him by asking those who protect him to employ him + elsewhere. You will thus get back an important office to give to friends; + it may come in at the right moment to facilitate some compromise.” + </p> + <p> + “But I have pledged it to Rabourdin.” + </p> + <p> + “That may be; and I don’t ask you to make the change this very day. I know + the danger of saying yes and no within twenty-four hours. But postpone the + appointment, and don’t sign the papers till the day after to-morrow; by + that time you may find it impossible to retain Rabourdin,—in fact, + in all probability, he will send you his resignation—” + </p> + <p> + “His resignation?” + </p> + <p> + “Yes.” + </p> + <p> + “Why?” + </p> + <p> + “He is the tool of a secret power in whose interests he has carried on a + system of espionage in all the ministries, and the thing has been + discovered by mere accident. He has written a paper of some kind, giving + short histories of all the officials. Everybody is talking of it; the + clerks are furious. For heaven’s sake, don’t transact business with him + to-day; let me find some means for you to avoid it. Ask an audience of the + King; I am sure you will find great satisfaction there if you concede the + point about Baudoyer; and you can obtain something as an equivalent. Your + position will be better than ever if you are forced later to dismiss a + fool whom the court party impose upon you.” + </p> + <p> + “What has made you turn against Rabourdin?” + </p> + <p> + “Would you forgive Monsieur de Chateaubriand for writing an article + against the ministry? Well, read that, and see how Rabourdin has treated + me in his secret document,” said des Lupeaulx, giving the paper to the + minister. “He pretends to reorganize the government from beginning to end,—no + doubt in the interests of some secret society of which, as yet, we know + nothing. I shall continue to be his friend for the sake of watching him; + by that means I may render the government such signal service that they + will have to make me count; for the peerage is the only thing I really + care for. I want you fully to understand that I am not seeking office or + anything else that would cause me to stand in your way; I am simply aiming + for the peerage, which will enable me to marry a banker’s daughter with an + income of a couple of hundred thousand francs. And so, allow me to render + you a few signal services which will make the King feel that I have saved + the throne. I have long said that Liberalism would never offer us a + pitched battle. It has given up conspiracies, Carbonaroism, and revolts + with weapons; it is now sapping and mining, and the day is coming when it + will be able to say, ‘Out of that and let me in!’ Do you think I have been + courting Rabourdin’s wife for my own pleasure? No, but I got much + information from her. So now, let us agree on two things; first, the + postponement of the appointment; second, your /sincere/ support of my + election. You shall find at the end of the session that I have amply + repaid you.” + </p> + <p> + For all answer, the minister took the appointment papers and placed them + in des Lupeaulx’s hand. + </p> + <p> + “I will go and tell Rabourdin,” added des Lupeaulx, “that you cannot + transact business with him till Saturday.” + </p> + <p> + The minister replied with an assenting gesture. The secretary despatched + his man with a message to Rabourdin that the minister could not work with + him until Saturday, on which day the Chamber was occupied with private + bills, and his Excellency had more time at his disposal. + </p> + <p> + Just at this moment Saillard, having brought the monthly stipend, was + slipping his little speech into the ear of the minister’s wife, who drew + herself up and answered with dignity that she did not meddle in political + matters, and besides, she had heard that Monsieur Rabourdin was already + appointed. Saillard, terrified, rushed up to Baudoyer’s office, where he + found Dutocq, Godard, and Bixiou in a state of exasperation difficult to + describe; for they were reading the terrible paper on the administration + in which they were all discussed. + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [with his finger on a paragraph]. “Here /you/ are, pere Saillard. + Listen” [reads]:— + </p> + <p> + “Saillard.—The office of cashier to be suppressed in all the + ministries; their accounts to be kept in future at the Treasury. Saillard + is rich and does not need a pension. + </p> + <p> + “Do you want to hear about your son-in-law?” [Turns over the leaves.] + “Here he is” [reads]:— + </p> + <p> + “Baudoyer.—Utterly incapable. To be thanked and dismissed. Rich; + does not need a pension. + </p> + <p> + “And here’s for Godard” [reads]:— + </p> + <p> + “Godard.—Should be dismissed; pension one-third of his present + salary. + </p> + <p> + “In short, here we all are. Listen to what I am” [reads]: “An artist who + might be employed by the civil list, at the Opera, or the Menus-Plaisirs, + or the Museum. Great deal of capacity, little self-respect, no + application,—a restless spirit. Ha! I’ll give you a touch of the + artist, Monsieur Rabourdin!” + </p> + <p> + Saillard. “Suppress cashiers! Why, the man’s a monster?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Let us see what he says of our mysterious Desroys.” [Turns over + the pages; reads.] + </p> + <p> + “Desroys.—Dangerous; because he cannot be shaken in principles that + are subversive of monarchial power. He is the son of the Conventionel, and + he admires the Convention. He may become a very mischievous journalist.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer. “The police are not worse spies!” + </p> + <p> + Godard. “I shall go the general-secretary and lay a complaint in form; we + must all resign in a body if such a man as that is put over us.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Gentlemen, listen to me; let us be prudent. If you rise at once + in a body, we may all be accused of rancor and revenge. No, let the thing + work, let the rumor spread quietly. When the whole ministry is aroused + your remonstrances will meet with general approval.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Dutocq believes in the principles of the grand air composed by + the sublime Rossini for Basilio,—which goes to show, by the bye, + that the great composer was also a great politician. I shall leave my card + on Monsieur Rabourdin to-morrow morning, inscribed thus: ‘Bixiou; no + self-respect, no application, restless mind.’” + </p> + <p> + Godard. “A good idea, gentlemen. Let us all leave our cards to-morrow on + Rabourdin inscribed in the same way.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [leading Bixiou apart]. “Come, you’ll agree to make that caricature + now, won’t you?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “I see plainly, my dear fellow, that you knew all about this + affair ten days ago” [looks him in the eye]. “Am I to be + under-head-clerk?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “On my word of honor, yes, and a thousand-franc fee beside, just + as I told you. You don’t know what a service you’ll be rendering to + powerful personages.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “You know them?” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Yes.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Well, then I want to speak with them.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [dryly]. “You can make the caricature or not, and you can be + under-head-clerk or not,—as you please.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “At any rate, let me see that thousand francs.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “You shall have them when you bring the drawing.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Forward, march! that lampoon shall go from end to end of the + bureaus to-morrow morning. Let us go and torment the Rabourdins.” [Then + speaking to Saillard, Godard, and Baudoyer, who were talking together in a + low voice.] “We are going to stir up the neighbors.” [Goes with Dutocq + into the Rabourdin bureau. Fleury, Thuillier, and Vimeux are there, + talking excitedly.] “What’s the matter, gentlemen? All that I told you + turns out to be true; you can go and see for yourselves the work of this + infamous informer; for it is in the hands of the virtuous, honest, + estimable, upright, and pious Baudoyer, who is indeed utterly incapable of + doing any such thing. Your chief has got every one of you under the + guillotine. Go and see; follow the crowd; money returned if you are not + satisfied; execution /gratis/! The appointments are postponed. All the + bureaus are in arms; Rabourdin has been informed that the minister will + not work with him. Come, be off; go and see for yourselves.” + </p> + <p> + They all depart except Phellion and Poiret, who are left alone. The former + loved Rabourdin too well to look for proof that might injure a man he was + determined not to judge; the other had only five days more to remain in + the office, and cared nothing either way. Just then Sebastien came down to + collect the papers for signature. He was a good deal surprised, though he + did not show it, to find the office deserted. + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “My young friend” [he rose, a rare thing], “do you know what is + going on? what scandals are rife about Monsieur Rabourdin whom you love, + and” [bending to whisper in Sebastien’s ear] “whom I love as much as I + respect him. They say he has committed the imprudence to leave a paper + containing comments on the officials lying about in the office—” + [Phellion stopped short, caught the young man in his strong arms, seeing + that he turned pale and was near fainting, and placed him on a chair.] “A + key, Monsieur Poiret, to put down his back; have you a key?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “I have the key of my domicile.” + </p> + <p> + [Old Poiret junior promptly inserted the said key between Sebastien’s + shoulders, while Phellion gave him some water to drink. The poor lad no + sooner opened his eyes than he began to weep. He laid his head on + Phellion’s desk, and all his limbs were limp as if struck by lightning; + while his sobs were so heartrending, so genuine, that for the first time + in his life Poiret’s feelings were stirred by the sufferings of another.] + </p> + <p> + Phellion [speaking firmly]. “Come, come, my young friend; courage! In + times of trial we must show courage. You are a man. What is the matter? + What has happened to distress you so terribly?” + </p> + <p> + Sebastien [sobbing]. “It is I who have ruined Monsieur Rabourdin. I left + that paper lying about when I copied it. I have killed my benefactor; I + shall die myself. Such a noble man!—a man who ought to be minister!” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [blowing his nose]. “Then it is true he wrote the report.” + </p> + <p> + Sebastien [still sobbing]. “But it was to—there, I was going to tell + his secrets! Ah! that wretch of a Dutocq; it was he who stole the paper.” + </p> + <p> + His tears and sobs recommenced and made so much noise that Rabourdin came + up to see what was the matter. He found the young fellow almost fainting + in the arms of Poiret and Phellion. + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin. “What is the matter, gentlemen?” + </p> + <p> + Sebastien [struggling to his feet, and then falling on his knees before + Rabourdin]. “I have ruined you, monsieur. That memorandum,—Dutocq, + the monster, he must have taken it.” + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin [calmly]. “I knew that already” [he lifts Sebastien]. “You are a + child, my young friend.” [Speaks to Phellion.] “Where are the other + gentlemen?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “They have gone into Monsieur Baudoyer’s office to see a paper + which it is said—” + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin [interrupting him]. “Enough.” [Goes out, taking Sebastien with + him. Poiret and Phellion look at each other in amazement, and do not know + what to say.] + </p> + <p> + Poiret [to Phellion]. “Monsieur Rabourdin—” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [to Poiret]. “Monsieur Rabourdin—” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Well, I never! Monsieur Rabourdin!” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “But did you notice how calm and dignified he was?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [with a sly look that was more like a grimace]. “I shouldn’t be + surprised if there were something under it all.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “A man of honor; pure and spotless.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Who is?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “Monsieur Poiret, you think as I think about Dutocq; surely you + understand me?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [nodding his head three times and answering with a shrewd look]. + “Yes.” [The other clerks return.] + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “A great shock; I still don’t believe the thing. Monsieur + Rabourdin, a king among men! If such men are spies, it is enough to + disgust one with virtue. I have always put Rabourdin among Plutarch’s + heroes.” + </p> + <p> + Vimeux. “It is all true.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [reflecting that he had only five days more to stay in the office]. + “But, gentlemen, what do you say about the man who stole that paper, who + spied upon Rabourdin?” [Dutocq left the room.] + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “I say he is a Judas Iscariot. Who is he?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [significantly]. “He is not here at /this moment/.” + </p> + <p> + Vimeux [enlightened]. “It is Dutocq!” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “I have no proof of it, gentlemen. While you were gone, that + young man, Monsieur de la Roche, nearly fainted here. See his tears on my + desk!” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “We held him fainting in our arms.—My key, the key of my + domicile!—dear, dear! it is down his back.” [Poiret goes hastily + out.] + </p> + <p> + Vimeux. “The minister refused to transact business with Rabourdin to-day; + and Monsieur Saillard, to whom the secretary said a few words, came to + tell Monsieur Baudoyer to apply for the cross of the Legion of honor,—there + is one to be granted, you know, on New-Year’s day, to all the heads of + divisions. It is quite clear what it all means. Monsieur Rabourdin is + sacrificed by the very persons who employed him. Bixiou says so. We were + all to be turned out, except Sebastien and Phellion.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel [entering]. “Well, gentlemen, is it true?” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “To the last word.” + </p> + <p> + Du Bruel [putting his hat on again]. “Good-bye.” [Hurries out.] + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “He may rush as much as he pleases to his Duc de Rhetore and + Duc de Maufrigneuse, but Colleville is to be our under-head-clerk, that’s + certain.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “Du Bruel always seemed to be attached to Monsieur Rabourdin.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [returning]. “I have had a world of trouble to get back my key. + That boy is crying still, and Monsieur Rabourdin has disappeared.” [Dutocq + and Bixiou enter.] + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Ha, gentlemen! strange things are going on in your bureau. Du + Bruel! I want you.” [Looks into the adjoining room.] “Gone?” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “Full speed.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “What about Rabourdin?” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “Distilled, evaporated, melted! Such a man, the king of men, that + he—” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [to Dutocq]. “That little Sebastien, in his trouble, said that you, + Monsieur Dutocq, had taken the paper from him ten days ago.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [looking at Dutocq]. “You must clear yourself of /that/, my good + friend.” [All the clerks look fixedly at Dutocq.] + </p> + <p> + Dutocq. “Where’s the little viper who copied it?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Copied it? How did you know he copied it? Ha! ha! it is only the + diamond that cuts the diamond.” [Dutocq leaves the room.] + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Would you listen to me, Monsieur Bixiou? I have only five days + and a half to stay in this office, and I do wish that once, only once, I + might have the pleasure of understanding what you mean. Do me the honor to + explain what diamonds have to do with these present circumstances.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “I meant papa,—for I’m willing for once to bring my + intellect down to the level of yours,—that just as the diamond alone + can cut the diamond, so it is only one inquisitive man who can defeat + another inquisitive man.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “‘Inquisitive man’ stands for ‘spy.’” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “I don’t understand.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Very well; try again some other time.” + </p> + <p> + Monsieur Rabourdin, after taking Sebastien to his room, had gone straight + to the minister; but the minister was at the Chamber of Deputies. + Rabourdin went at once to the Chamber, where he wrote a note to his + Excellency, who was at that moment in the tribune engaged in a hot + discussion. Rabourdin waited, not in the conference hall, but in the + courtyard, where, in spite of the cold, he resolved to remain and + intercept his Excellency as he got into his carriage. The usher of the + Chamber had told him that the minister was in the thick of a controversy + raised by the nineteen members of the extreme Left, and that the session + was likely to be stormy. Rabourdin walked to and for in the courtyard of + the palace for five mortal hours, a prey to feverish agitation. At + half-past six o’clock the session broke up, and the members filed out. The + minister’s chasseur came up to find the coachman. + </p> + <p> + “Hi, Jean!” he called out to him; “Monseigneur has gone with the minister + of war; they are going to see the King, and after that they dine together, + and we are to fetch him at ten o’clock. There’s a Council this evening.” + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin walked slowly home, in a state of despondency not difficult to + imagine. It was seven o’clock, and he had barely time to dress. + </p> + <p> + “Well, you are appointed?” cried his wife, joyously, as he entered the + salon. + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin raised his head with a grievous motion of distress and answered, + “I fear I shall never again set foot in the ministry.” + </p> + <p> + “What?” said his wife, quivering with sudden anxiety. + </p> + <p> + “My memorandum on the officials is known in all the offices; and I have + not been able to see the minister.” + </p> + <p> + Celestine’s eyes were opened to a sudden vision in which the devil, in one + of his infernal flashes, showed her the meaning of her last conversation + with des Lupeaulx. + </p> + <p> + “If I had behaved like a low woman,” she thought, “we should have had the + place.” + </p> + <p> + She looked at Rabourdin with grief in her heart. A sad silence fell + between them, and dinner was eaten in the midst of gloomy meditations. + </p> + <p> + “And it is my Wednesday,” she said at last. + </p> + <p> + “All is not lost, dear Celestine,” said Rabourdin, laying a kiss on his + wife’s forehead; “perhaps to-morrow I shall be able to see the minister + and explain everything. Sebastien sat up all last night to finish the + writing; the papers are copied and collated; I shall place them on the + minister’s desk and beg him to read them through. La Briere will help me. + A man is never condemned without a hearing.” + </p> + <p> + “I am curious to see if Monsieur des Lupeaulx will come here to-night.” + </p> + <p> + “He? Of course he will come,” said Rabourdin; “there’s something of the + tiger in him; he likes to lick the blood of the wounds he has given.” + </p> + <p> + “My poor husband,” said his wife, taking his hand, “I don’t see how it is + that a man who could conceive so noble a reform did not also see that it + ought not to be communicated to a single person. It is one of those ideas + that a man should keep in his own mind, for he alone can apply them. A + statesman must do in our political sphere as Napoleon did in his; he + stooped, twisted, crawled. Yes, Bonaparte crawled! To be made + commander-in-chief of the Army of Italy he married Barrere’s mistress. You + should have waited, got yourself elected deputy, followed the politics of + a party, sometimes down in the depths, at other times on the crest of the + wave, and you should have taken, like Monsieur de Villele, the Italian + motto ‘Col tempo,’ in other words, ‘All things are given to him who knows + how to wait.’ That great orator worked for seven years to get into power; + he began in 1814 by protesting against the Charter when he was the same + age that you are now. Here’s your fault; you have allowed yourself to be + kept subordinate, when you were born to rule.” + </p> + <p> + The entrance of the painter Schinner imposed silence on the wife and + husband, but these words made the latter thoughtful. + </p> + <p> + “Dear friend,” said the painter, grasping Rabourdin’s hand, “the support + of artists is a useless thing enough, but let me say under these + circumstances that we are all faithful to you. I have just read the + evening papers. Baudoyer is appointed director and receives the cross of + the Legion of honor—” + </p> + <p> + “I have been longer in the department, I have served twenty-four hours,” + said Rabourdin with a smile. + </p> + <p> + “I know Monsieur le Comte de Serizy, the minister of State, pretty well, + and if he can help you, I will go and see him,” said Schinner. + </p> + <p> + The salon soon filled with persons who knew nothing of the government + proceedings. Du Bruel did not appear. Madame Rabourdin was gayer and more + graceful than ever, like the charger wounded in battle, that still finds + strength to carry his master from the field. + </p> + <p> + “She is very courageous,” said a few women who knew the truth, and who + were charmingly attentive to her, understanding her misfortunes. + </p> + <p> + “But she certainly did a great deal to attract des Lupeaulx,” said the + Baronne du Chatelet to the Vicomtesse de Fontaine. + </p> + <p> + “Do you think—” began the vicomtesse. + </p> + <p> + “If so,” interrupted Madame de Camps, in defence of her friend, “Monsieur + Rabourdin would at least have had the cross.” + </p> + <p> + About eleven o’clock des Lupeaulx appeared; and we can only describe him + by saying that his spectacles were sad and his eyes joyous; the glasses, + however, obscured the glances so successfully that only a physiognomist + would have seen the diabolical expression which they wore. He went up to + Rabourdin and pressed the hand which the latter could not avoid giving + him. + </p> + <p> + Then he approached Madame Rabourdin. + </p> + <p> + “We have much to say to each other,” he remarked as he seated himself + beside the beautiful woman, who received him admirably. + </p> + <p> + “Ah!” he continued, giving her a side glance, “you are grand indeed; I + find you just what I expected, glorious under defeat. Do you know that it + is a very rare thing to find a superior woman who answers to the + expectations formed of her. So defeat doesn’t dishearten you? You are + right; we shall triumph in the end,” he whispered in her ear. “Your fate + is always in your own hands,—so long, I mean, as your ally is a man + who adores you. We will hold counsel together.” + </p> + <p> + “But is Baudoyer appointed?” she asked. + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said the secretary. + </p> + <p> + “Does he get the cross?” + </p> + <p> + “Not yet; but he will have it later.” + </p> + <p> + “Amazing!” + </p> + <p> + “Ah! you don’t understand political exigencies.” + </p> + <p> + During this evening, which seemed interminable to Madame Rabourdin, + another scene was occurring in the place Royale,—one of those + comedies which are played in seven Parisian salons whenever there is a + change of ministry. The Saillards’ salon was crowded. Monsieur and Madame + Transon arrived at eight o’clock; Madame Transon kissed Madame Baudoyer, + nee Saillard. Monsieur Bataille, captain of the National Guard, came with + his wife and the curate of Saint Paul’s. + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur Baudoyer,” said Madame Transon. “I wish to be the first to + congratulate you; they have done justice to your talents. You have indeed + earned your promotion.” + </p> + <p> + “Here you are, director,” said Monsieur Transon, rubbing his hands, “and + the appointment is very flattering to this neighborhood.” + </p> + <p> + “And we can truly say it came to pass without any intriguing,” said the + worthy Saillard. “We are none of us political intriguers; /we/ don’t go to + select parties at the ministry.” + </p> + <p> + Uncle Mitral rubbed his nose and grinned as he glanced at his niece + Elisabeth, the woman whose hand had pulled the wires, who was talking with + Gigonnet. Falleix, honest fellow, did not know what to make of the stupid + blindness of Saillard and Baudoyer. Messieurs Dutocq, Bixiou, du Bruel, + Godard, and Colleville (the latter appointed head of the bureau) entered. + </p> + <p> + “What a crew!” whispered Bixiou to du Bruel. “I could make a fine + caricature of them in the shapes of fishes,—dorys, flounders, + sharks, and snappers, all dancing a saraband!” + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur,” said Colleville, “I come to offer you my congratulations; or + rather we congratulate ourselves in having such a man placed over us; and + we desire to assure you of the zeal with which we shall co-operate in your + labors. Allow me to say that this event affords a signal proof to the + truth of my axiom that a man’s destiny lies in the letters of his name. I + may say that I knew of this appointment and of your other honors before I + heard of them, for I spend the night in anagrammatizing your name as + follows:” [proudly] “Isidore C. T. Baudoyer,—Director, decorated by + us (his Majesty the King, of course).” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer bowed and remarked piously that names were given in baptism. + </p> + <p> + Monsieur and Madame Baudoyer, senior, father and mother of the new + director, were there to enjoy the glory of their son and daughter-in-law. + Uncle Gigonnet-Bidault, who had dined at the house, had a restless, + fidgety look in his eye which frightened Bixiou. + </p> + <p> + “There’s a queer one,” said the latter to du Bruel, calling his attention + to Gigonnet, “who would do in a vaudeville. I wonder if he could be + bought. Such an old scarecrow is just the thing for a sign over the Two + Baboons. And what a coat! I did think there was nobody but Poiret who + could show the like after that after ten years’ public exposure to the + inclemencies of Parisian weather.” + </p> + <p> + “Baudoyer is magnificent,” said du Bruel. + </p> + <p> + “Dazzling,” answered Bixiou. + </p> + <p> + “Gentlemen,” said Baudoyer, “let me present you to my own uncle, Monsieur + Mitral, and to my great-uncle through my wife, Monsieur Bidault.” + </p> + <p> + Gigonnet and Mitral gave a glance at the three clerks so penetrating, so + glittering with gleams of gold, that the two scoffers were sobered at + once. + </p> + <p> + “Hein?” said Bixiou, when they were safely under the arcades in the place + Royale; “did you examine those uncles?—two copies of Shylock. I’ll + bet their money is lent in the market at a hundred per cent per week. They + lend on pawn; and sell most that they lay hold of, coats, gold lace, + cheese, men, women, and children; they are a conglomeration of Arabs, + Jews, Genoese, Genevese, Greeks, Lombards, and Parisians, suckled by a + wolf and born of a Turkish woman.” + </p> + <p> + “I believe you,” said Godard. “Uncle Mitral used to be a sheriff’s + officer.” + </p> + <p> + “That settles it,” said du Bruel. + </p> + <p> + “I’m off to see the proof of my caricature,” said Bixiou; “but I should + like to study the state of things in Rabourdin’s salon to-night. You are + lucky to be able to go there, du Bruel.” + </p> + <p> + “I!” said the vaudevillist, “what should I do there? My face doesn’t lend + itself to condolences. And it is very vulgar in these days to go and see + people who are down.” + </p> + <p> + <a name="link2HCH0009" id="link2HCH0009"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + CHAPTER IX. THE RESIGNATION + </h2> + <p> + By midnight Madame Rabourdin’s salon was deserted; only two or three + guests remained with des Lupeaulx and the master and mistress of the + house. When Schinner and Monsieur and Madame de Camps had likewise + departed, des Lupeaulx rose with a mysterious air, stood with his back to + the fireplace and looked alternately at the husband and wife. + </p> + <p> + “My friends,” he said, “nothing is really lost, for the minister and I are + faithful to you. Dutocq simply chose between two powers the one he thought + strongest. He has served the court and the Grand Almoner; he has betrayed + me. But that is in the order of things; a politician never complains of + treachery. Nevertheless, Baudoyer will be dismissed as incapable in a few + months; no doubt his protectors will find him a place,—in the + prefecture of police, perhaps,—for the clergy will not desert him.” + </p> + <p> + From this point des Lupeaulx went on with a long tirade about the Grand + Almoner and the dangers the government ran in relying upon the church and + upon the Jesuits. We need not, we think, point out to the intelligent + reader that the court and the Grand Almoner, to whom the liberal journals + attributed an enormous influence under the administration, had little + really to do with Monsieur Baudoyer’s appointment. Such petty intrigues + die in the upper sphere of great self-interests. If a few words in favor + of Baudoyer were obtained by the importunity of the curate of Saint-Paul’s + and the Abbe Gaudron, they would have been withdrawn immediately at a + suggestion from the minister. The occult power of the Congregation of + Jesus (admissible certainly as confronting the bold society of the + “Doctrine,” entitled “Help yourself and heaven will help you,”) was + formidable only through the imaginary force conferred on it by subordinate + powers who perpetually threatened each other with its evils. The liberal + scandal-mongers delighted in representing the Grand Almoner and the whole + Jesuitical Chapter as political, administrative, civil, and military + giants. Fear creates bugbears. At this crisis Baudoyer firmly believed in + the said Chapter, little aware that the only Jesuits who had put him where + he now was sat by his own fireside, and in the Cafe Themis playing + dominoes. + </p> + <p> + At certain epochs in history certain powers appear, to whom all evils are + attributed, though at the same time their genius is denied; they form an + efficient argument in the mouth of fools. Just as Monsieur de Talleyrand + was supposed to hail all events of whatever kind with a bon mot, so in + these days of the Restoration the clerical party had the credit of doing + and undoing everything. Unfortunately, it did and undid nothing. Its + influence was not wielded by a Cardinal Richelieu or a Cardinal Mazarin; + it was in the hands of a species of Cardinal de Fleury, who, timid for + over five years, turned bold for one day, injudiciously bold. Later on, + the “Doctrine” did more, with impunity, at Saint-Merri, than Charles X. + pretended to do in July, 1830. If the section on the censorship so + foolishly introduced into the new charter had been omitted, journalism + also would have had its Saint-Merri. The younger Branch could have legally + carried out Charles X.‘s plan. + </p> + <p> + “Remain where you are, head of a bureau under Baudoyer,” went on des + Lupeaulx. “Have the nerve to do this; make yourself a true politician; put + ideas and generous impulses aside; attend only to your functions; don’t + say a word to your new director; don’t help him with a suggestion; and do + nothing yourself without his order. In three months Baudoyer will be out + of the ministry, either dismissed, or stranded on some other + administrative shore. They may attach him to the king’s household. Twice + in my life I have been set aside as you are, and overwhelmed by an + avalanche of folly; I have quietly waited and let it pass.” + </p> + <p> + “Yes,” said Rabourdin, “but you were not calumniated; your honor was not + assailed, compromised—” + </p> + <p> + “Ha, ha, ha!” cried des Lupeaulx, interrupting him with a burst of Homeric + laughter. “Why, that’s the daily bread of every remarkable man in this + glorious kingdom of France! And there are but two ways to meet such + calumny,—either yield to it, pack up, and go plant cabbages in the + country; or else rise above it, march on, fearless, and don’t turn your + head.” + </p> + <p> + “For me, there is but one way of untying the noose which treachery and the + work of spies have fastened round my throat,” replied Rabourdin. “I must + explain the matter at once to his Excellency, and if you are as sincerely + attached to me as you say you are, you will put me face to face with him + to-morrow.” + </p> + <p> + “You mean that you wish to explain to him your plan for the reform of the + service?” + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin bowed. + </p> + <p> + “Well, then, trust the papers with me,—your memoranda, all the + documents. I promise you that he shall sit up all night and examine them.” + </p> + <p> + “Let us go to him, then!” cried Rabourdin, eagerly; “six years’ toil + certainly deserves two or three hours attention from the king’s minister, + who will be forced to recognize, if he does not applaud, such + perseverance.” + </p> + <p> + Compelled by Rabourdin’s tenacity to take a straightforward path, without + ambush or angle where his treachery could hide itself, des Lupeaulx + hesitated for a single instant, and looked at Madame Rabourdin, while he + inwardly asked himself, “Which shall I permit to triumph, my hatred for + him, or my fancy for her?” + </p> + <p> + “You have no confidence in my honor,” he said, after a pause. “I see that + you will always be to me the author of your /secret analysis/. Adieu, + madame.” + </p> + <p> + Madame Rabourdin bowed coldly. Celestine and Xavier returned at once to + their own rooms without a word; both were overcome by their misfortune. + The wife thought of the dreadful situation in which she stood toward her + husband. The husband, resolving slowly not to remain at the ministry but + to send in his resignation at once, was lost in a sea of reflections; the + crisis for him meant a total change of life and the necessity of starting + on a new career. All night he sat before his fire, taking no notice of + Celestine, who came in several times on tiptoe, in her night-dress. + </p> + <p> + “I must go once more to the ministry, to bring away my papers, and show + Baudoyer the routine of the business,” he said to himself at last. “I had + better write my resignation now.” + </p> + <p> + He turned to his table and began to write, thinking over each clause of + the letter, which was as follows:— + </p> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Monseigneur,—I have the honor to inclose to your Excellency my + resignation. I venture to hope that you still remember hearing me + say that I left my honor in your hands, and that everything, for + me, depended on my being able to give you an immediate + explanation. + + This explanation I have vainly sought to give. To-day it would, + perhaps, be useless; for a fragment of my work relating to the + administration, stolen and misused, has gone the rounds of the + offices and is misinterpreted by hatred; in consequence, I find + myself compelled to resign, under the tacit condemnation of my + superiors. + + Your Excellency may have thought, on the morning when I first + sought to speak with you, that my purpose was to ask for my + promotion, when, in fact, I was thinking only of the glory and + usefulness of your ministry and of the public good. It is + all-important, I think, to correct that impression. +</pre> + <p> + Then followed the usual epistolary formulas. + </p> + <p> + It was half-past seven in the morning when the man consummated the + sacrifice of his ideas; he burned everything, the toil of years. Fatigued + by the pressure of thought, overcome by mental suffering, he fell asleep + with his head on the back of his armchair. He was wakened by a curious + sensation, and found his hands covered with his wife’s tears and saw her + kneeling before him. Celestine had read the resignation. She could measure + the depth of his fall. They were now to be reduced to live on four + thousand francs a year; and that day she had counted up her debts,—they + amounted to something like thirty-two thousand francs! The most ignoble of + all wretchedness had come upon them. And that noble man who had trusted + her was ignorant that she had abused the fortune he had confided to her + care. She was sobbing at his feet, beautiful as the Magdalen. + </p> + <p> + “My cup is full,” cried Xavier, in terror. “I am dishonored at the + ministry, and dishonored—” + </p> + <p> + The light of her pure honor flashed from Celestine’s eyes; she sprang up + like a startled horse and cast a fulminating glance at Rabourdin. + </p> + <p> + “I! I!” she said, on two sublime tones. “Am I a base wife? If I were, you + would have been appointed. But,” she added mournfully, “it is easier to + believe that than to believe what is the truth.” + </p> + <p> + “Then what is it?” said Rabourdin. + </p> + <p> + “All in three words,” she said; “I owe thirty thousand francs.” + </p> + <p> + Rabourdin caught his wife to his heart with a gesture of almost frantic + joy, and seated her on his knee. + </p> + <p> + “Take comfort, dear,” he said, in a tone of voice so adorably kind that + the bitterness of her grief was changed to something inexpressibly tender. + “I too have made mistakes; I have worked uselessly for my country when I + thought I was being useful to her. But now I mean to take another path. If + I had sold groceries we should now be millionaires. Well, let us be + grocers. You are only twenty-eight, dear angel; in ten years you shall + recover the luxury that you love, which we must needs renounce for a short + time. I, too, dear heart, am not a base or common husband. We will sell + our farm; its value has increased of late. That and the sale of our + furniture will pay my debts.” + </p> + <p> + /My/ debts! Celestine embraced her husband a thousand times in the single + kiss with which she thanked him for that generous word. + </p> + <p> + “We shall still have a hundred thousand francs to put into business. + Before the month is out I shall find some favorable opening. If luck gave + a Martin Falleix to a Saillard, why should we despair? Wait breakfast for + me. I am going now to the ministry, but I shall come back with my neck + free of the yoke.” + </p> + <p> + Celestine clasped her husband in her arms with a force men do not possess, + even in their passionate moments; for women are stronger through emotion + than men through power. She wept and laughed and sobbed in turns. + </p> + <p> + When Rabourdin left the house at eight o’clock, the porter gave him the + satirical cards suggested by Bixiou. Nevertheless, he went to the + ministry, where he found Sebastien waiting near the door to entreat him + not to enter any of the bureaus, because an infamous caricature of him was + making the round of the offices. + </p> + <p> + “If you wish to soften the pain of my downfall,” he said to the lad, + “bring me that drawing; I am now taking my resignation to Ernest de la + Briere myself, that it may not be altered or distorted while passing + through the routine channels. I have my own reasons for wishing to see + that caricature.” + </p> + <p> + When Rabourdin came back to the courtyard, after making sure that his + letter would go straight into the minister’s hands, he found Sebastien in + tears, with a copy of the lithograph, which the lad reluctantly handed + over to him. + </p> + <p> + “It is very clever,” said Rabourdin, showing a serene brow to his + companion, though the crown of thorns was on it all the same. + </p> + <p> + He entered the bureaus with a calm air, and went at once into Baudoyer’s + section to ask him to come to the office of the head of the division and + receive instructions as to the business which that incapable being was + henceforth to direct. + </p> + <p> + “Tell Monsieur Baudoyer that there must be no delay,” he added, in the + hearing of all the clerks; “my resignation is already in the minister’s + hands, and I do not wish to stay here longer than is necessary.” + </p> + <p> + Seeing Bixiou, Rabourdin went straight up to him, showed him the + lithograph, and said, to the great astonishment of all present,— + </p> + <p> + “Was I not right in saying you were an artist? Still, it is a pity you + directed the point of your pencil against a man who cannot be judged in + this way, nor indeed by the bureaus at all;—but everything is + laughed at in France, even God.” + </p> + <p> + Then he took Baudoyer into the office of the late La Billardiere. At the + door he found Phellion and Sebastien, the only two who, under his great + disaster, dared to remain openly faithful to the fallen man. Rabourdin + noticed that Phellion’s eyes were moist, and he could not refrain from + wringing his hand. + </p> + <p> + “Monsieur,” said the good man, “if we can serve you in any way, make use + of us.” + </p> + <p> + Monsieur Rabourdin shut himself up in the late chief’s office with + Monsieur Baudoyer, and Phellion helped him to show the new incumbent all + the administrative difficulties of his new position. At each separate + affair which Rabourdin carefully explained, Baudoyer’s little eyes grew + big as saucers. + </p> + <p> + “Farewell, monsieur,” said Rabourdin at last, with a manner that was + half-solemn, half-satirical. + </p> + <p> + Sebastien meanwhile had made up a package of papers and letters belonging + to his chief and had carried them away in a hackney coach. Rabourdin + passed through the grand courtyard, while all the clerks were watching + from the windows, and waited there a moment to see if the minister would + send him any message. His Excellency was dumb. Phellion courageously + escorted the fallen man to his home, expressing his feelings of respectful + admiration; then he returned to the office, and took up his work, + satisfied with his own conduct in rendering these funeral honors to the + neglected and misjudged administrative talent. + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [seeing Phellion re-enter]. “Victrix cause diis placuit, sed victa + Catoni.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “Yes, monsieur.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “What does that mean?” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “That priests rejoice, and Monsieur Rabourdin has the respect of + men of honor.” + </p> + <p> + Dutocq [annoyed]. “You didn’t say that yesterday.” + </p> + <p> + Fleury. “If you address me you’ll have my hand in your face. It is known + for certain that you filched those papers from Monsieur Rabourdin.” + [Dutocq leaves the office.] “Oh, yes, go and complain to your Monsieur des + Lupeaulx, spy!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [laughing and grimacing like a monkey]. “I am curious to know how + the division will get along. Monsieur Rabourdin is so remarkable a man + that he must have had some special views in that work of his. Well, the + minister loses a fine mind.” [Rubs his hands.] + </p> + <p> + Laurent [entering]. “Monsieur Fleury is requested to go to the secretary’s + office.” + </p> + <p> + All the clerks. “Done for!” + </p> + <p> + Fleury [leaving the room]. “I don’t care; I am offered a place as + responsible editor. I shall have all my time to myself to lounge the + streets or do amusing work in a newspaper office.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Dutocq has already made them cut off the head of that poor + Desroys.” + </p> + <p> + Colleville [entering joyously]. “Gentlemen, I am appointed head of this + bureau.” + </p> + <p> + Thuillier. “Ah, my friend, if it were I myself, I couldn’t be better + pleased.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “His wife has managed it.” [Laughter.] + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Will any one tell me the meaning of all that is happening here + to-day?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Do you really want to know? Then listen. The antechamber of the + administration is henceforth a chamber, the court is a boudoir, the best + way to get in is through the cellar, and the bed is more than ever a + cross-cut.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Monsieur Bixiou, may I entreat you, explain?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “I’ll paraphrase my opinion. To be anything at all you must begin + by being everything. It is quite certain that a reform of this service is + needed; for on my word of honor, the State robs the poor officials as much + as the officials rob the State in the matter of hours. But why is it that + we idle as we do? because they pay us too little; and the reason of that + is we are too many for the work, and your late chief, the virtuous + Rabourdin, saw all this plainly. That great administrator,—for he + was that, gentlemen,—saw what the thing is coming to, the thing that + these idiots call the ‘working of our admirable institutions.’ The chamber + will want before long to administrate, and the administrators will want to + legislate. The government will try to administrate and the administrators + will want to govern, and so it will go on. Laws will come to be mere + regulations, and ordinances will be thought laws. God made this epoch of + the world for those who like to laugh. I live in a state of jovial + admiration of the spectacle which the greatest joker of modern times, + Louis XVIII., bequeathed to us” [general stupefaction]. “Gentlemen, if + France, the country with the best civil service in Europe, is managed + thus, what do you suppose the other nations are like? Poor unhappy + nations! I ask myself how they can possibly get along without two + Chambers, without the liberty of the press, without reports, without + circulars even, without an army of clerks? Dear, dear, how do you suppose + they have armies and navies? how can they exist at all without political + discussions? Can they even be called nations, or governments? It is said + (mere traveller’s tales) that these strange peoples claim to have a + policy, to wield a certain influence; but that’s absurd! how can they when + they haven’t ‘progress’ or ‘new lights’? They can’t stir up ideas, they + haven’t an independent forum; they are still in the twilight of barbarism. + There are no people in the world but the French people who have ideas. Can + you understand, Monsieur Poiret,” [Poiret jumped as if he had been shot] + “how a nation can do without heads of divisions, general-secretaries and + directors, and all this splendid array of officials, the glory of France + and of the Emperor Napoleon,—who had his own good reasons for + creating a myriad of offices? I don’t see how those nations have the + audacity to live at all. There’s Austria, which has less than a hundred + clerks in her war ministry, while the salaries and pensions of ours amount + to a third of our whole budget, a thing that was unheard of before the + Revolution. I sum up all I’ve been saying in one single remark, namely, + that the Academy of Inscriptions and Belles-lettres, which seems to have + very little to do, had better offer a prize for the ablest answer to the + following question: Which is the best organized State; the one that does + many things with few officials, or the one that does next to nothing with + an army of them?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Is that your last word?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Yes, sir! whether English, French, German or Italian,—I let + you off the other languages.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [lifting his hands to heaven]. “Gracious goodness! and they call + you a witty man!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Haven’t you understood me yet?” + </p> + <p> + Phellion. “Your last observation was full of excellent sense.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Just as full as the budget itself, and like the budget again, as + complicated as it looks simple; and I set it as a warning, a beacon, at + the edge of this hole, this gulf, this volcano, called, in the language of + the ‘Constitutionel,’ ‘the political horizon.’” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “I should much prefer a comprehensible explanation.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Hurrah for Rabourdin! there’s my explanation; that’s my opinion. + Are you satisfied?” + </p> + <p> + Colleville [gravely]. “Monsieur Rabourdin had but one defect.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “What was it?” + </p> + <p> + Colleville. “That of being a statesman instead of a subordinate official.” + </p> + <p> + Phellion [standing before Bixiou]. “Monsieur! why did you, who understand + Monsieur Rabourdin so well, why did you make that inf—that odi—that + hideous caricature?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Do you forget our bet? don’t you know I was backing the devil’s + game, and that your bureau owes me a dinner at the Rocher de Cancale?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [much put-out]. “Then it is a settled thing that I am to leave this + government office without ever understanding a sentence, or a single word + uttered by Monsieur Bixiou.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “It is your own fault; ask these gentlemen. Gentlemen, have you + understood the meaning of my observations? and were those observations + just, and brilliant?” + </p> + <p> + All. “Alas, yes!” + </p> + <p> + Minard. “And the proof is that I shall send in my resignation. I shall + plunge into industrial avocations.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “What! have you managed to invent a mechanical corset, or a baby’s + bottle, or a fire engine, or chimneys that consume no fuel, or ovens which + cook cutlets with three sheets of paper?” + </p> + <p> + Minard [departing.] “Adieu, I shall keep my secret.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Well, young Poiret junior, you see,—all these gentlemen + understand me.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [crest-fallen]. “Monsieur Bixiou, would you do me the honor to come + down for once to my level and speak in a language I can understand?” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [winking at the rest]. “Willingly.” [Takes Poiret by the button of + his frock-coat.] “Before you leave this office forever perhaps you would + be glad to know what you are—” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [quickly]. “An honest man, monsieur.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [shrugging his shoulders]. “—to be able to define, explain, + and analyze precisely what a government clerk is? Do you know what he is?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “I think I do.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [twisting the button]. “I doubt it.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “He is a man paid by government to do work.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Oh! then a soldier is a government clerk?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [puzzled]. “Why, no.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “But he is paid by the government to do work, to mount guard and + show off at reviews. You may perhaps tell me that he longs to get out of + his place,—that he works too hard and fingers too little metal, + except that of his musket.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [his eyes wide open]. “Monsieur, a government clerk is, logically + speaking, a man who needs the salary to maintain himself, and is not free + to get out of his place; for he doesn’t know how to do anything but copy + papers.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Ah! now we are coming to a conclusion. So the bureau is the + clerk’s shell, husk, pod. No clerk without a bureau, no bureau without a + clerk. But what do you make, then, of a customs officer?” [Poiret shuffles + his feet and tries to edge away; Bixiou twists off one button and catches + him by another.] “He is, from the bureaucratic point of view, a neutral + being. The excise-man is only half a clerk; he is on the confines between + civil and military service; neither altogether soldier nor altogether + clerk—Here, here, where are you going?” [Twists the button.] “Where + does the government clerk proper end? That’s a serious question. Is a + prefect a clerk?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [hesitating]. “He is a functionary.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “But you don’t mean that a functionary is not a clerk? that’s an + absurdity.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [weary and looking round for escape]. “I think Monsieur Godard + wants to say something.” + </p> + <p> + Godard. “The clerk is the order, the functionary the species.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [laughing]. “I shouldn’t have thought you capable of that + distinction, my brave subordinate.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [trying to get away]. “Incomprehensible!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “La, la, papa, don’t step on your tether. If you stand still and + listen, we shall come to an understanding before long. Now, here’s an + axiom which I bequeath to this bureau and to all bureaus: Where the clerk + ends, the functionary begins; where the functionary ends, the statesman + rises. There are very few statesmen among the prefects. The prefect is + therefore a neutral being among the higher species. He comes between the + statesman and the clerk, just as the custom-house officer stands between + the civil and the military. Let us continue to clear up these important + points.” [Poiret turns crimson with distress.] “Suppose we formulate the + whole matter in a maxim worthy of Larochefoucault: Officials with salaries + of twenty thousand francs are not clerks. From which we may deduce + mathematically this corollary: The statesman first looms up in the sphere + of higher salaries; and also this second and not less logical and + important corollary: Directors-general may be statesmen. Perhaps it is in + that sense that more than one deputy says in his heart, ‘It is a fine + thing to be a director-general.’ But in the interests of our noble French + language and of the Academy—” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [magnetized by the fixity of Bixiou’s eye]. “The French language! + the Academy!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [twisting off the second button and seizing another]. “Yes, in the + interests of our noble tongue, it is proper to observe that although the + head of a bureau, strictly speaking, may be called a clerk, the head of a + division must be called a bureaucrat. These gentlemen” [turning to the + clerks and privately showing them the third button off Poiret’s coat] + “will appreciate this delicate shade of meaning. And so, papa Poiret, + don’t you see it is clear that the government clerk comes to a final end + at the head of a division? Now that question once settled, there is no + longer any uncertainty; the government clerk who has hitherto seemed + undefinable is defined.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret. “Yes, that appears to me beyond a doubt.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “Nevertheless, do me the kindness to answer the following + question: A judge being irremovable, and consequently debarred from being, + according to your subtle distinction, a functionary, and receiving a + salary which is not the equivalent of the work he does, is he to be + included in the class of clerks?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [gazing at the cornice]. “Monsieur, I don’t follow you.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [getting off the fourth button]. “I wanted to prove to you, + monsieur, that nothing is simple; but above all—and what I am going + to say is intended for philosophers—I wish (if you’ll allow me to + misquote a saying of Louis XVIII.),—I wish to make you see that + definitions lead to muddles.” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [wiping his forehead]. “Excuse me, I am sick at my stomach” [tries + to button his coat]. “Ah! you have cut off all my buttons!” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “But the point is, /do you understand me/?” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [angrily]. “Yes, monsieur, I do; I understand that you have been + playing me a shameful trick and twisting off my buttons while I have been + standing here unconscious of it.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou [solemnly]. “Old man, you are mistaken! I wished to stamp upon your + brain the clearest possible image of constitutional government” [all the + clerks look at Bixiou; Poiret, stupefied, gazes at him uneasily], “and + also to keep my word to you. In so doing I employed the parabolical method + of savages. Listen and comprehend: While the ministers start discussions + in the Chambers that are just about as useful and as conclusive as the one + we are engaged in, the administration cuts the buttons off the + tax-payers.” + </p> + <p> + All. “Bravo, Bixiou!” + </p> + <p> + Poiret [who comprehends]. “I don’t regret my buttons.” + </p> + <p> + Bixiou. “I shall follow Minard’s example; I won’t pocket such a paltry + salary as mine any longer; I shall deprive the government of my + co-operation.” [Departs amid general laughter.] + </p> + <p> + Another scene was taking place in the minister’s reception-room, more + instructive than the one we have just related, because it shows how great + ideas are allowed to perish in the higher regions of State affairs, and in + what way statesmen console themselves. + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx was presenting the new director, Monsieur Baudoyer, to the + minister. A number of persons were assembled in the salon,—two or + three ministerial deputies, a few men of influence, and Monsieur Clergeot + (whose division was now merged with La Billardiere’s under Baudoyer’s + direction), to whom the minister was promising an honorable pension. After + a few general remarks, the great event of the day was brought up. + </p> + <p> + A deputy. “So you lose Rabourdin?” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx. “He has resigned.” + </p> + <p> + Clergeot. “They say he wanted to reform the administration.” + </p> + <p> + The Minister [looking at the deputies]. “Salaries are not really in + proportion to the exigencies of the civil service.” + </p> + <p> + De la Briere. “According to Monsieur Rabourdin, one hundred clerks with a + salary of twelve thousand francs would do better and quicker work than a + thousand clerks at twelve hundred.” + </p> + <p> + Clergeot. “Perhaps he is right.” + </p> + <p> + The Minister. “But what is to be done? The machine is built in that way. + Must we take it to pieces and remake it? No one would have the courage to + attempt that in face of the Chamber, and the foolish outcries of the + Opposition, and the fierce denunciations of the press. It follows that + there will happen, one of these days, some damaging ‘solution of + continuity’ between the government and the administration.” + </p> + <p> + A deputy. “In what way?” + </p> + <p> + The Minister. “In many ways. A minister will want to serve the public + good, and will not be allowed to do so. You will create interminable + delays between things and their results. You may perhaps render the theft + of a penny actually impossible, but you cannot prevent the buying and + selling of influence, the collusions of self-interest. The day will come + when nothing will be conceded without secret stipulations, which may never + see the light. Moreover, the clerks, one and all, from the least to the + greatest, are acquiring opinions of their own; they will soon be no longer + the hands of a brain, the scribes of governmental thought; the Opposition + even now tends towards giving them a right to judge the government and to + talk and vote against it.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer [in a low voice, but meaning to be heard]. “Monseigneur is really + fine.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx. “Of course bureaucracy has its defects. I myself think it + slow and insolent; it hampers ministerial action, stifles projects, and + arrests progress. But, after all, French administration is amazingly + useful.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer. “Certainly!” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx. “If only to maintain the paper and stamp industries! Suppose + it is rather fussy and provoking, like all good housekeepers,—it can + at any moment render an account of its disbursements. Where is the + merchant who would not gladly give five per cent of his entire capital if + he could insure himself against /leakage/?” + </p> + <p> + The Deputy [a manufacturer]. “The manufacturing interests of all nations + would joyfully unite against that evil genius of theirs called leakage.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx. “After all, though statistics are the childish foible of + modern statesmen, who think that figures are estimates, we must cipher to + estimate. Figures are, moreover, the convincing argument of societies + based on self-interest and money, and that is the sort of society the + Charter has given us,—in my opinion, at any rate. Nothing convinces + the ‘intelligent masses’ as much as a row of figures. All things in the + long run, say the statesmen of the Left, resolve themselves into figures. + Well then, let us figure” [the minister here goes off into a corner with a + deputy, to whom he talks in a low voice]. “There are forty thousand + government clerks in France. The average of their salaries is fifteen + hundred francs. Multiply forty thousand by fifteen hundred and you have + sixty millions. Now, in the first place, a publicist would call the + attention of Russia and China (where all government officials steal), also + that of Austria, the American republics, and indeed that of the whole + world, to the fact that for this price France possesses the most + inquisitorial, fussy, ferreting, scribbling, paper-blotting, fault-finding + old housekeeper of a civil service on God’s earth. Not a copper farthing + of the nation’s money is spent or hoarded that is not ordered by a note, + proved by vouchers, produced and re-produced on balance-sheets, and + receipted for when paid; orders and receipts are registered on the rolls, + and checked and verified by an army of men in spectacles. If there is the + slightest mistake in the form of these precious documents, the clerk is + terrified, for he lives on such minutiae. Some nations would be satisfied + to get as far as this; but Napoleon went further. That great organizer + appointed supreme magistrates of a court which is absolutely unique in the + world. These officials pass their days in verifying money-orders, + documents, roles, registers, lists, permits, custom-house receipts, + payments, taxes received, taxes spent, etc.; all of which the clerks write + or copy. These stern judges push the gift of exactitude, the genius of + inquisition, the sharp-sightedness of lynxes, the perspicacity of + account-books to the point of going over all the additions in search of + subtractions. These sublime martyrs to figures have been known to return + to an army commissary, after a delay of two years, some account in which + there was an error of two farthings. This is how and why it is that the + French system of administration, the purest and best on the globe has + rendered robbery, as his Excellency has just told you, next to impossible, + and as for peculation, it is a myth. France at this present time possesses + a revenue of twelve hundred millions, and she spends it. That sum enters + her treasury, and that sum goes out of it. She handles, therefore, two + thousand four hundred millions, and all she pays for the labor of those + who do the work is sixty millions,—two and a half per cent; and for + that she obtains the certainty that there is no leakage. Our political and + administrative kitchen costs us sixty millions, but the gendarmerie, the + courts of law, the galleys and the police cost just as much, and give no + return. Moreover, we employ a body of men who could do no other work. + Waste and disorder, if such there be, can only be legislative; the + Chambers lead to them and render them legal. Leakage follows in the form + of public works which are neither urgent nor necessary; troops + re-uniformed and gold-laced over and over again; vessels sent on useless + cruises; preparations for war without ever making it; paying the debts of + a State, and not requiring reimbursement or insisting on security.” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer. “But such leakage has nothing to do with the subordinate + officials; this bad management of national affairs concerns the statesmen + who guide the ship.” + </p> + <p> + The Minister [who has finished his conversation]. “There is a great deal + of truth in what des Lupeaulx has just said; but let me tell you” [to + Baudoyer], “Monsieur le directeur, that few men see from the standpoint of + a statesman. To order expenditure of all kinds, even useless ones, does + not constitute bad management. Such acts contribute to the movement of + money, the stagnation of which becomes, especially in France, dangerous to + the public welfare, by reason of the miserly and profoundly illogical + habits of the provinces which hoard their gold.” + </p> + <p> + The Deputy [who listened to des Lupeaulx]. “But it seems to me that if + your Excellency was right just now, and if our clever friend here” [takes + Lupeaulx by the arm] “was not wrong, it will be difficult to come to any + conclusion on the subject.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx [after looking at the minister]. “No doubt something ought to + be done.” + </p> + <p> + De la Briere [timidly]. “Monsieur Rabourdin seems to have judged rightly.” + </p> + <p> + The Minister. “I will see Rabourdin.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx. “The poor man made the blunder of constituting himself + supreme judge of the administration and of all the officials who compose + it; he wants to do away with the present state of things, and he demands + that there be only three ministries.” + </p> + <p> + The Minister. “He must be crazy.” + </p> + <p> + The Deputy. “How do you represent in three ministries the heads of all the + parties in the Chamber?” + </p> + <p> + Baudoyer [with an air that he imagined to be shrewd]. “Perhaps Monsieur + Rabourdin desired to change the Constitution, which we owe to our + legislative sovereign.” + </p> + <p> + The Minister [thoughtful, takes La Briere’s arm and leads him into the + study]. “I want to see that work of Rabourdin’s, and as you know about it—” + </p> + <p> + De la Briere. “He has burned it. You allowed him to be dishonored and he + has resigned from the ministry. Do not think for a moment, Monseigneur, + that Rabourdin ever had the absurd thought (as des Lupeaulx tries to make + it believed) to change the admirable centralization of power.” + </p> + <p> + The Minister [to himself]. “I have made a mistake” [is silent a moment]. + “No matter; we shall never be lacking in plans for reform.” + </p> + <p> + De la Briere. “It is not ideas, but men capable of executing them that we + lack.” + </p> + <p> + Des Lupeaulx, that adroit advocate of abuses came into the minister’s + study at this moment. + </p> + <p> + “Monseigneur, I start at once for my election.” + </p> + <p> + “Wait a moment,” said his Excellency, leaving the private secretary and + taking des Lupeaulx by the arm into the recess of a window. “My dear + friend, let me have that arrondissement,—if you will, you shall be + made count and I will pay your debts. Later, if I remain in the ministry + after the new Chamber is elected, I will find a way to send in your name + in a batch for the peerage.” + </p> + <p> + “You are a man of honor, and I accept.” + </p> + <p> + This is how it came to pass that Clement Chardin des Lupeaulx, whose + father was ennobled under Louis XV., and who beareth quarterly, first, + argent, a wolf ravisant carrying a lamb gules; second, purpure, three + mascles argent, two and one; third, paly of twelve, gules and argent; + fourth, or, on a pale endorsed, three batons fleurdelises gules; supported + by four griffon’s-claws jessant from the sides of the escutcheon, with the + motto “En Lupus in Historia,” was able to surmount these rather satirical + arms with a count’s coronet. + </p> + <p> + Towards the close of the year 1830 Monsieur Rabourdin did some business on + hand which required him to visit the old ministry, where the bureaus had + all been in great commotion, owing to a general removal of officials, from + the highest to the lowest. This revolution bore heaviest, in point of + fact, upon the lackeys, who are not fond of seeing new faces. Rabourdin + had come early, knowing all the ways of the place, and he thus chanced to + overhear a dialogue between the two nephews of old Antoine, who had + recently retired on a pension. + </p> + <p> + “Well, Laurent, how is your chief of division going on?” + </p> + <p> + “Oh, don’t talk to me about him; I can’t do anything with him. He rings me + up to ask if I have seen his handkerchief or his snuff-box. He receives + people without making them wait; in short, he hasn’t a bit of dignity. I’m + often obliged to say to him: But, monsieur, monsieur le comte your + predecessor, for the credit of the thing, used to punch holes with his + penknife in the arms of his chair to make believe he was working. And he + makes such a mess of his room. I find everything topsy-turvy. He has a + very small mind. How about your man?” + </p> + <p> + “Mine? Oh, I have succeeded in training him. He knows exactly where his + letter-paper and envelopes, his wood, and his boxes and all the rest of + his things are. The other man used to swear at me, but this one is as meek + as a lamb,—still, he hasn’t the grand style! Moreover, he isn’t + decorated, and I don’t like to serve a chief who isn’t; he might be taken + for one of us, and that’s humiliating. He carries the office letter-paper + home, and asked me if I couldn’t go there and wait at table when there was + company.” + </p> + <p> + “Hey! what a government, my dear fellow!” + </p> + <p> + “Yes, indeed; everybody plays low in these days.” + </p> + <p> + “I hope they won’t cut down our poor wages.” + </p> + <p> + “I’m afraid they will. The Chambers are prying into everything. Why, they + even count the sticks of wood.” + </p> + <p> + “Well, it can’t last long if they go on that way.” + </p> + <p> + “Hush, we’re caught! somebody is listening.” + </p> + <p> + “Hey! it is the late Monsieur Rabourdin. Ah, monsieur, I knew your step. + If you have business to transact here I am afraid you will not find any + one who is aware of the respect that ought to be paid to you; Laurent and + I are the only persons remaining about the place who were here in your + day. Messieurs Colleville and Baudoyer didn’t wear out the morocco of the + chairs after you left. Heavens, no! six months later they were made + Collectors of Paris.” + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + Note.—Anagrams cannot, of course, be translated; that is why three + English ones have been substituted for some in French. [Tr.] + </p> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> <a name="link2H_4_0011" id="link2H_4_0011"> + <!-- H2 anchor --> </a> + </p> + <div style="height: 4em;"> + <br /><br /><br /><br /> + </div> + <h2> + ADDENDUM + </h2> + <h3> + The following personages appear in other stories of the Human Comedy. + </h3> +<pre xml:space="preserve"> + Baudoyer, Isidore + The Middle Classes + Cousin Pons + + Bianchon, Horace + Father Goriot + The Atheist’s Mass + Cesar Birotteau + The Commission in Lunacy + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Bachelor’s Establishment + The Secrets of a Princess + Pierrette + A Study of Woman + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + Honorine + The Seamy Side of History + The Magic Skin + A Second Home + A Prince of Bohemia + Letters of Two Brides + The Muse of the Department + The Imaginary Mistress + The Middle Classes + Cousin Betty + The Country Parson + In addition, M. Bianchon narrated the following: + Another Study of Woman + La Grande Breteche + + Bidault (known as Gigonnet) + Gobseck + The Vendetta + Cesar Birotteau + The Firm of Nucingen + A Daughter of Eve + + Bixiou, Jean-Jacques + The Purse + A Bachelor’s Establishment + Modeste Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Firm of Nucingen + The Muse of the Department + Cousin Betty + The Member for Arcis + Beatrix + A Man of Business + Gaudissart II. + The Unconscious Humorists + Cousin Pons + + Brezacs (The) + The Country Parson + + Bruel, Jean Francois du + A Bachelor’s Establishment + A Start in Life + A Prince of Bohemia + The Middle Classes + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Daughter of Eve + + Camps, Madame Octave de + Madame Firmiani + A Woman of Thirty + A Daughter of Eve + The Member for Arcis + + Chaboisseau + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Man of Business + + Chatelet, Marie-Louise-Anais de Negrepelisse, Baronne du + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + + Chessel, Madame de + The Lily of the Valley + + Cochin, Emile-Louis-Lucien-Emmanuel + Cesar Birotteau + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + + Colleville + The Middle Classes + + Colleville, Flavie Minoret, Madame + Cousin Betty + The Middle Classes + + Desplein + The Atheist’s Mass + Cousin Pons + Lost Illusions + The Thirteen + Pierrette + A Bachelor’s Establishment + The Seamy Side of History + Modest Mignon + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + Honorine + + Desroches (son) + A Bachelor’s Establishment + Colonel Chabert + A Start in Life + A Woman of Thirty + The Commission in Lunacy + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Firm of Nucingen + A Man of Business + The Middle Classes + + Dutocq + The Middle Classes + + Falleix, Martin + The Firm of Nucingen + + Falleix, Jacques + The Thirteen + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + + Ferraud, Comtesse + Colonel Chabert + + Finot, Andoche + Cesar Birotteau + A Bachelor’s Establishment + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + A Start in Life + Gaudissart the Great + The Firm of Nucingen + + Fleury + The Middle Classes + + Fontaine, Comte de + The Chouans + Modeste Mignon + The Ball at Sceaux + Cesar Birotteau + + Fontanon, Abbe + A Second Home + Honorine + The Member for Arcis + + Gaudron, Abbe + Honorine + A Start in Life + + Gobseck, Jean-Esther Van + Gobseck + Father Goriot + Cesar Birotteau + The Unconscious Humorists + + Godard, Joseph + The Middle Classes + + Granson, Athanase + Jealousies of a Country Town + + Gruget, Madame Etienne + The Thirteen + A Bachelor’s Establishment + + Keller, Francois + Domestic Peace + Cesar Birotteau + Eugenie Grandet + The Member for Arcis + + La Bastie la Briere, Ernest de + Modeste Mignon + + La Billardiere, Athanase-Jean-Francois-Michel, Baron Flamet de + The Chouans + Cesar Birotteau + + Laudigeois + The Middle Classes + + Louis XVIII., Louis-Stanislas-Xavier + The Chouans + The Seamy Side of History + The Gondreville Mystery + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Ball at Sceaux + The Lily of the Valley + Colonel Chabert + + Lupeaulx, Clement Chardin des + The Muse of the Department + Eugenie Grandet + A Bachelor’s Establishment + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + Ursule Mirouet + + Metivier + Lost Illusions + The Middle Classes + + Minard, Auguste-Jean-Francois + The Firm of Nucingen + The Middle Classes + + Minard, Madame + The Middle Classes + + Minorets, The + The Peasantry + + Mitral + Cesar Birotteau + + Nathan, Madame Raoul + The Muse of the Department + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + A Bachelor’s Establishment + Ursule Mirouet + Eugenie Grandet + The Imaginary Mistress + A Prince of Bohemia + A Daughter of Eve + The Unconscious Humorists + + Phellion + The Middle Classes + + Poiret, the elder + Father Goriot + A Start in Life + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + The Middle Classes + + Rabourdin, Xavier + At the Sign of the Cat and Racket + Cesar Birotteau + The Middle Classes + + Rabourdin, Madame + The Commission in Lunacy + + Rubempre, Lucien-Chardon de + Lost Illusions + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + Ursule Mirouet + Scenes from a Courtesan’s Life + + Saillard + The Middle Classes + + Samanon + A Distinguished Provincial at Paris + A Man of Business + Cousin Betty + + Schinner, Hippolyte + The Purse + A Bachelor’s Establishment + Pierre Grassou + A Start in Life + Albert Savarus + Modeste Mignon + The Imaginary Mistress + The Unconscious Humorists + + Sommervieux, Theodore de + At the Sign of the Cat and Racket + Modeste Mignon + + Thuillier + The Middle Classes + + Thuillier, Marie-Jeanne-Brigitte + The Middle Classes + + Thuillier, Louis-Jerome + The Middle Classes +</pre> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <br /> <br /> + </p> + <div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 1343 ***</div> +</body> +</html> |